#i was taught that everyone should live their lives in a way decided by God

[idleheathen]

Peace by Diane Leonard // unknown // autistic-fandom-trash // The Good Place // Keanu Reeves // unknown // If It's Not God - Maddie Zahm // The Village - Wrabel // Doctor Who - The Woman Who Fell To Earth // Peter Wever - Umarmung (Hug II) // unknown // Devil - Tyler Glenn // unknown // unknown // Najwa Zebian // Alok Vaid-Menon, Beyond The Gender Binary // Alok Vaid-Menon, Femme in Public

[babushkatty]

Tranquil SAGAU - Part 3

-> Part 1

-> Part 2

-> Part 4

Turns out, you did jinx yourself last week.

You should have learnt your lesson from all those times you and your sister had spoken bad luck into existence, be it unannounced guests or other inconveniences.

But you didn't, so here you were.

Staring down motherfucking Ursa the Drake, with Dvalin pinning them (her?) down with his massive body and motherfucking Crepus Ragnvindr looking at you both simultaneously like it's Christmas and like he thinks he's schizophrenic.

Diluc didn't look any better. He was as white as a sheet and if you were any better at identifying emotions, you'd think he was about to cry.

...surely not?

But then again, he was younger than in the game and his father was right there, alive and well - you doubted he was anything like the cold and grumpy Diluc who closed himself off from the world that you knew.

A terrified baby that was probably overthinking how Ursa would kill him, his father and the whole cohort they traveled with all the way to Tuesday.

...now you just felt bad for judging. You wouldn't be any better in his place, especially without your scary Dvalin priviledges.

"Ursa, darling, what exactly are you doing?"

All you got for your troubles was a roar in your face.

Except it didn't even feel like a scary dragon about to eat you, it felt like a child throwing a tantrum.

...the notion of Ursa being this uncontested and plaguing Mondstadt for a thousand years while being a mere child was kind of terrifying actually, so you very deliberately decided not to dwell on it. For your own sanity, if nothing else.

"Dvalin, you know Ursa, so... Any ideas?" You asked the dragon, who looked almost bored as he outright lounged on Ursa as if they (she?) were his beddings. If that didn't make a statement, you didn't know what would.

"While we did not cross paths frequently in the past, I had always thought her to be... Especially nefarious."

Ursa trashed around, but Dvalin didn't budge and effortlessly kept them (her? her.) pinned down.

"She reminds me of Durin. But where Durin was oblivious to the grevious harm he caused and merely wanted to play, Ursa is fully conscious and reveling in the pain she inflicts on others, often being open to agreements that involve human sacrifice."

Ursa screeched. In protest, maybe?

"For now, there is not much that can be done. You would need to be much stronger to subdue her permamently, which requires time. But I shall stall her until you are strong enough, alongside Boreas."

Oh.

So your scary Dvalin priviledges were being voided. It was a shame, you really liked his company -- his stories were a delight to listen to and he spoiled you rotten for comfortable accomodations, any bed or chair from now on would be a massive downgrade.

Still, it was understandable. Responsibilities and human lives were priority over your comfort. You weren't going to complain too much.

"I'll miss you," you say as you stroke his wings, not really having access to his torso or head to hug him properly due to Ursa.

Speaking of Ursa...

"Be good. You're making trouble for everyone."

And maybe you were being reckless and simply asking for your arm and face to be bitten off, but you flicked her on the snoot, because you only live once and Dvalin had you mildly convinced nothing in Teyvat would hurt you.

Ursa startles and then, honest to God, whines.

Dvalin huffs in what you assume is amusement and grabs at Ursa with his massive limbs. His wings stretch as he readies himself to take flight.

"I will miss you too, (Name)."

And just like that both dragons are gone like the wind.

...

That left you all alone to face the Ragnvindr and C.O., so you put on your customer service smile and clap your hands in fake excitement you really don't feel.

If nothing else, working in retail taught you how to play the fool.

"So, now that that is done and over with. I believe you have a mess to clean up?"

Crepus looks at you like you grew an extra head, before doubling over in a hearty laugh that broke through the weird atmosphere that settled over the caravan as easily as a hot knife through butter.

Diluc still looks like a poke would knock him over, but at least he got some colour back in him.

"Ah, thank you for that."

Crepus walks over to you and offers you a handshake, gripping your hand firmly and with enthusiasm that was entirely on him. Not that you weren't excited to meet characters from Genshin... but that was the thing, wasn't it? They weren't the characters you knew in Genshin. Crepus was barely a mention, Diluc was a different person entirely and the rest of the caravan were either NPCs hanging around on the map somewhere or didn't exist in the game at all.

So, you had to treat them like actual people.

And you weren't good with people.

"No problem. I'm (Name) (Last Name), just call me (Name) please."

Smile through the pain Harold, grant me your strength.

"Crepus Ragnvindr, and the redhead over there is my son, Diluc. It's a pleasure to meet you, (Name)."

He lets go of your hand and smiles so brightly you half-heartedly wished for some sunglasses. Was this man sunshine personified? Certaintly felt like he was.

"I would say I wish we met under different circumstances, but that's not exactly the truth, is it? Any other circumstances would have me trying to fight Ursa the Drake and that was bound to end badly for me, so... Thank you for saving my life."

And at that precise moment the Knights of Favonius spurred on by Kaeya Alberich himself burst into the scene, weapons ready.

...Kaeya looked like such a baby too, it had you thinking on just how young the literal children like Diona would be.

☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ* ✨ Author Note✨

Suprise, we're 4 years early in the timeline! And I have no idea what the timeline is besides what little I glimpsed from the Wiki, so lore accuracy is thrown out the window!

✨ I still can't tag the one person that asked to be tagged and I'm feeling horrible for it even when it's not my fault ✨

Also, yes, ✨ is my favourite emoji, why do you ask? :D

Also, also -- yes, I did pump out 3 parts in 2/3 days, it is an anomaly, do not expect such pace from me especially since I'm about to throw myself head first into HSR.

✨Self-plug time✨

My UID is 715 837 832 and I got a lvl50 Bronya as support.

I am still on Walt copium, even though I didn't get him even once despite the many, MANY rerolls I did, but that is neither here nor there.

[eclecticqueennerd]

Confessions

Part 5

*language, violence, mention of p*rn, mentions of dr*gs, angst, smexual situations 18+ please*

Soldier Boys POV

He couldn’t give two shits about Butcher’s vendetta against Homelander. He didn’t need his help in settling the score against Payback, I’m the first goddamn supe. The only reason why he stuck around with the boys is because of y/n. He thought he was in love before with the Countess but boy was he wrong. Sure, the Countess was gorgeous and had talent, especially when her lips were wrapped around his cock, but deep-down Ben felt like she was only doing things for him out of fear, a fear he didn’t see in y/n. Y/n had every right to be afraid, he blew up her friend and almost killed her for god’s sake, that’s not my fault, it's whatever those fucking Russkies did to me. He also killed one of her friends, MM was it, family members, okay that was my fault I was so high I couldn’t see straight. To impress y/n that he’s a better man than Butcher, Ben apologized, even though deep down he didn’t really mean it.

Ben and y/n talk about some of the most random shit. She’d tell him jokes he didn’t quite understand but would chuckle at anyway. He’d talk about meeting celebrities that have long since died and which ones were dickheads. On the rare times they had an hour free, she’d explain what was happening in Game of Thrones, ‘Why didn’t the dumbass just zigzag?” “I KNOW RIGHT? Goddamn it Rickon!” She’d have him listen to different bands from various eras; Ben decided that he liked listening to Wanted Dead or Alive. They’d bond over their love for discovering new foods, however, nothing they find will ever replace his love for a double bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon.

The rest of the gang slowly warmed up to Ben once they realized how fast y/n trusted him. They understood that he was a man out of time, and he needed to be taught a few things about this day and age. What he can and can’t do, how to address men and especially women, how to work a smartphone, and how to access the internet. There was one time, okay several times, Ben stumbled across a porn website by ‘accident’ on y/n’s ipad. The loud moans on the video echoed in the living room and Ben had to remember how to turn the sound down. Is it this button? *screenshot*. Ben would continue to fumble around with the device until he decided to give up. He’ll figure it out one day, but right now he needed to crank it out.

Frenchie and Ben would talk about their favorite illicit substances, Hughie would ask some dumb fucking questions which would almost always end up with him being tongue lashed by Ben. Even MM found it acceptable to sit on the same side of the room as him, they still never interacted. The only one that appeared to have a problem with how close Ben was getting with everyone was Butcher. Ben didn’t care about that though, he can go fuck himself. Every time Butcher would try to tell Ben something shitty about y/n and how he should focus on the mission and Homelander, Ben would just go about his day and reply, “Takes a real broken man to try and bring down a woman at the top of her game.”

But after all that, Ben’s favorite thing was going on missions with y/n and watching her work, it was his new religion. The way y/n’s hips sway back and forth in her skintight tactical suit showing the world she’s comfortable in her own skin, the brutality she showed towards their victims and the confidence she now exudes, Ben likes to think he had a hand in that.

*

Y/n grabs the knife from Ben’s belt. She proceeds forward to their tied-up victim, one that’s going in and out of consciousness. This is one tough bastard. His face all puffed up, lip busted and the hinting of dark bruises forming on his face. Then, a blood curdling scream,

“Tell us what we want to know! Where are the TNT Twins?” Ben saw his knife lodged just above the kneecap while y/n shook the man by the shoulders.

“I’d tell her where they’re at. She’s supposed to play nice cop.” Y/n twists the knife and screaming rang out again.

“Y/n the bastard is gonna bleed out before we get our info.”

“He won’t bleed out, at least not as fast as you’d think. Where I stabbed him just barely misses the major blood vessels that is embedded in the synovial joint. It’s riddled with nerves so if I do this,” she moves the knife slightly, the victim screams out, “He’ll feel it. If we don’t kill him by the end of this then any infection that penetrates the joint fluid, will.” Marry me.

“I don’t know where they're at now, but I know Herogasm is in 3 days at their place outside of New York!” The man confesses and gave the address to the house, Ben left the man tied up on the chair and walked towards the entrance of the dilapidated warehouse. While the two of you were walking back to Butcher's car, Ben asked,

“Normies don’t have that much force behind them to jab a knife into some assholes knee. What kinda powers you got?”

“I was a field surgeon in the United States Army before I joined the boys, so I know my way around the human body. When I stayed with Grace, they ran me through a series of tests and realized I’ve got strength and stamina, accelerated healing, heightened reflexes and a potential for hand-to-hand combat. I’m still working on that though. When training with Grace’s men, I was be too strong for them and break a bone or something so no one wanted to train with me. That was the end of that.”

“You know, I could train you if you wanted. Will be a little harder to break my bones doll. Plus you get to be up close and personal with the nation's hero Soldier Boy.” Ben throws in a wink for good measure. Y/n giggles,

“Thanks, but no. I’d rather stick with the knives.” Y/n waved Bens knife around in the air. Ben reached out and grabbed it and placed it back in its sheath.

“Which by the way you need your own. You can’t keep taking mine whenever you feel like it.” You could take anything from me whenever you want. Shit, take me right now.

“Are you twats ready to go yet or should I circle around the block?”

*

Y/n’s scent was intoxicating, her musk mixed with the vanilla scent of her perfume, not too light, not too heavy, just right. Ben, being the upstanding gentleman he is, let y/n sit in the front seat but learned the back of Butchers cadillac was torture. The limited leg room, lack of airflow to the back of the car and the shitty rear suspension almost made Ben regret giving up the front seat. Almost. If he positioned himself just right, Ben could see y/n tits bounce up and down in her top every time the car hit a pothole. Ben had to adjust himself on occasion to accommodate the semi chub growing in his pants.

The car was placed in park, and everyone exited. Finally. Once you reached the hideouts front door, Ben commented,

“You know, you have quite a knack for that.” y/n looked up at him questioningly. “Torture. Where’d you learn it? I’m assuming they didn’t teach you that in basic training.” y/n huffed,

“No. I picked up a few things from that one there,” she points to Butcher now slamming his bedroom door shut. “I just never had the stomach to follow through. I shall never intentionally do or administer anything to the overall harm of my patients and all that jazz.” Ben poured himself a glass of whiskey.

“What’s changed?”

“I don’t’ know, but I think I like it.” y/n flicked her hair back using her hands. She was being sassy, is that what they call it nowadays? Ben poured out a glass of whiskey for y/n and they both downed the amber liquid, simultaneously let out an exhale to help rid the burning sensation.

“We’ll I’m a bloody mess, I need a shower.” Y/n went to her room and grabbed a fresh set of clothes. Ben poured himself another glass of whiskey as he watched y/n come out of her room again. She was looking right at him and had this look on her face, eyes darker. Y/n slowly walked into the bathroom, keeping eye contact and gently shutting the door. Ben downed the glass of whiskey and walked over to the bathroom. She wants to get up close and personal with Solider Boy in a different way, got it.

@butchers-girl @xmariakx

@deans-spinster-witch

[last-herondale]

Help Me Understand

Loki x FemReader!

Loki x FemReader!

Angst, hurt/comfort, some fluff Warnings: Mentions of abuse, self deprecation, feelings of unworthiness

This fic takes place during Dark World. (I didn't particularly like the movie, but we were blessed with scenes of Loki so...) Summary: The reader is a handmaid of the castle, assigned by Frigga to take care of a special prisoner. While you tend to Loki, you slowly begin to learn more about the "Would-be King of Earth".

A/n: Here is the Loki fic that i promised in my poll! I hope you like it! I had fun with this one.

Enjoy 🤘🏼

“Could you cease with your incessant humming?” Loki hissed from across the room.

He sat against the wall of his cell, not bothering to look up from his book as he spoke to you. You ignored him, continuing your tune as you attended to your duties. Maiden’s work was not a particular favorite job of yours, but Queen Frigga had requested for you personally to see to Loki’s new… living arrangements.

You had just finished putting fresh linens on his bed, placing clean clothes into his wardrobe, and began to tidy up his mess of books that were strewed about the place. You continued to hum as you worked, delicately placing the books into their proper shelves.

Finally, you heard the soft slamming of a book, and a loud sigh from behind you. “Must you always be so irritating?”

“Insulting me will not make me leave any faster, your grace,” you say simply as you finish tidying up. You turn around to him and are met with an icy stare. “In fact,” you mused, “I may decide that these floors need waxing, and gods know how long that might take me.”

A flicker of something crossed Loki’s face, but you were unable to detect what it was before he turned his face back towards his book. He didn’t open it again, but rather he let his fingers caress the pages gently. You found yourself watching him for longer than necessary, and heat flooded your cheeks as you turned away. You gathered up the old sheets and began to make your way to the exit when his voice cut through the silence. “Why do you still call me that?”

You halted mid-step, blinking in surprise at the question. “Call you what, your grace?”

“That,” Loki said bitterly, “Your Grace. You of all people should know by now. I am a prisoner. I have no place here.”

You froze in place. In the few days you had worked here, Loki had hardly spoken to you, let alone discuss his imprisonment. You slowly turned to face him, being careful to guard your emotions. Loki looked to you expectantly, an eerie calm washed over his face as he waited for you to respond.

"You are still a Prince," you replied carefully, "And I was taught to always formally address those of higher status."

Loki gave a bitter laugh. "Naive little thing, aren't you? Save your pleasantries for when you leave this cell, I have no need for them, and you'll not win any favor with the All Father by being cordial with me."

You narrowed your eyes at the god. You had heard rumors of his nature all your life. The Mischievous son, the silver tonged viper, the fallen god. Stories of his rampage on Earth had spread like wildfire. You had wondered how much of them were true, if he really was the villain everyone seemed to think he was.

You straightened your posture, tilting your head a bit higher. You refused to be intimidated by him, no matter what you might have heard. "It is not for your benefit, believe me. I am in the service of your mother, not Odin, and it is on her behest that I show you this simple act of courtesy, whether you are deserving of it or not. Now if you will excuse me, your grace," you spun on your heel and exited the room, leaving Loki glaring after you.

~

The next few days passed by without issue. You attended to your duties in a diligent manner, always bringing Loki his meals on time, cleaning his cell, and bringing him books that his mother had sent with you. Loki kept his distance, for the most part. He couldn't help but mutter the occasionally bitter phrase at you, but it wasn't anything you couldn't handle. Frigga was grateful to you for your service. The other maidens were too frightened of Loki to take the job, and you were Frigga's last hope. For what, you were not certain.

It was dinner time now. You carried a platter of food down into the cells, taking pleasure in the smell of freshly baked bread and stew meat. A guard let you into the cell without question. You thanked him as you entered and was unsurprised to see Loki lounging in a chair, book in hand. He had his hair tied back into a messy bun, a few of his dark strands lingered on his face, almost kissing his cheekbones.

You cleared your throat, watching as his eyes flickered up briefly from his book to look at you. "I have brought your dinner," you said. You placed the plate on a small table that sat on the opposite side of the room, being careful to move some scattered books and parchment. As you turned, books in hand, you nearly bumped into him as he stood beside you. "Watch it!" you snapped. Immediately you bit your lip.

A smirk spread across Loki's face, as if he could read you like one of his books. "My, my," he mused, "Not as cordial as we usually are, are we?" Warmth heated your face as you pushed past him, eager to be done with your job. “My apologies,” you muttered. Loki just snorted as you began to put away the books in their proper place.

"And what have you brought me today, my gracious lady?" Loki mocked as he lifted the lid from the container.

"Lamb stew, your grace," you replied with a sour tone. You finished putting the books away and turned to face him. You were caught off guard by the sight of him. He stood rigidly over the plate, giving a distant stare into the bowl. “Is something wrong?” You asked.

Loki remained silent as he slipped into the dining chair. He clasped his hands together in a tight ball, and leaned his head into them. Slowly, you made your way closer to the table. You peaked your head over the bowl to make sure nothing was amiss.

“My mother made this, didn’t she?” He asked weakly.

“I’m not sure your gr—“

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Loki slammed his hands down onto the table, causing the bowl to go spilling all over the table. Loki rose from his seat so fast that the chair knocked backwards. “Does she take me for a fool? Does she honestly think that she can win my sympathy by bringing me books, cooking my favorite meals, sending some broad to tend to me each day?”

Your blood felt like ice in your veins. Loki looked at you as if you were some kind of monster. His eyes seemed wild, but there was a sadness in his expression that he couldn’t hide. He caught you staring, and he gave a low snarl as he charged toward you. You stood your ground, stiffening your back as he stuck a finger in your face.

“You tell my mother— the next time you grovel at her feet— that I don’t need her pity. She needs to accept how things are now— how things have always been..." he took a ragged breath. The heat of him radiated around you. He inched ever closer to you, his forehead nearly touching yours as he hissed. "I don’t need her— and I most certainly do not need you.”

“Is that all?” You asked calmly. Loki’s expression looked murderous, but you just turned around and began to clean the table. You gathered the tray, putting everything back as best as you could as you made your way to the exit. You hesitated before leaving, turning back to look at Loki. He had thrown himself into one of the armchairs, holding his head in his hand as his body heaved with deep breaths.

You sighed a soft breath and placed the tray down on the floor. You didn’t understand why you were doing what you were doing. All you knew is that you were walking across the room, sitting on the edge of his bed. He looked up at you with tear brimmed eyes. Your presence shocked him, that you were certain. He had to mold his expression into one more hostile to fit the façade, but instead he just looked… broken.

There was a pang in your chest when you looked at him. You took a deep breath and steadied yourself.

“Firstly,” you began in a gentle voice, “I will expect an apology for your earlier comment before I leave.” Loki opened his mouth to speak but you quickly interrupted. “Secondly, your mother is one of the few people in Asgard— possibly in the universe— that truly cares about you. You are her son, and she loves you unconditionally, despite whatever might have happened in your past. You would do well to remember that.”

He just stared at you with a wavering intensity. “You don’t know anything,” he muttered. “Perhaps not,” you shrugged, “but what I do know is that you do not frighten me. If your goal is to scare me away or anger me to the point of insanity-- I’m afraid you’ll fail. But there is little use in making my job more difficult than it needs to be, so out with it."

Loki furrowed his brow. "I don't-" "Look, neither one of us wants to be in this situation. Clearly, you are upset— either with your circumstances, the Queen, or me I don’t care, but for the sake of both of our sanity, I think its best we clear the air."

Loki scoffed. "This is ridiculous." "No, what is ridiculous is throwing a fit over perfectly fine stew," you muttered, letting a small smile escape your lips. Loki studied you, taking a large sigh as he rubbed his temples. "You are quite irritating," Loki muttered.

You took that as a victory and nodded. "It does not have to be today. We can begin tomorrow, when I bring you your breakfast." You stood up from his bed and made your way to the exit, picking up the tray once more. “Think on it, your Grace. I believe it could do us both some good… this cell can feel lonely for just about anyone, but it doesn’t have to be.”

You signaled for the guard to open the door. Just as you were about to step out, you heard his low voice echo behind you.

"I apologize," Loki began in a soft tone, "for my behavior this evening. My words were- unbecoming to say the least, my lady." He said the last words with a sour tone, but there was the faint whisper of a smile on his lips. You turned to him and gave a small bow with your head just before leaving the cell.

~

As promised, the next morning you came, breakfast in hand. This time you requested that two portions be prepared. You wanted Loki to feel as normal as possible, so you joined him for breakfast. At first he seemed amused when you took a seat at the table in front of him, a sly smile inching across his face as you served yourself from the platter. "Aren't you going to eat?" you mused, filling your plate with meats and eggs, "I will eat this entire thing if you don't." Eventually he shrugged and also began to dig in.

You were surprised by how easy it was to talk with him. It was as if you had always known each other. Once the conversation began, which took some encouragement from your end, it never seemed to stop. Loki had a deep love for books and theater, and you quite enjoyed listening to him recount his favorite plays from the royal theater. The two of you talked about your childhood, the fond memories of Asgard in your youths. Loki spoke of Thor often, even though he seemed to try to avoid him as much as possible. You could tell he loved his brother, despite their complicated history. Loki refused to talk about his father, the memories still perhaps too painful for him, and so you didn’t push.

You listened to every word, not out of duty or obligation, but out of curiosity. It was an odd wonder to pick the brain of the crowned prince. The mental images that you held of him from past rumors were starting to fade. A clearer picture was being painted and the menacing god before you was beginning to become a man. He would listen to you as well. Loki would ask you questions as you worked, and he seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say. It was nice to have someone to talk to.

Days passed like this. You now ate every meal with Loki. The two of you filled the empty silence with chatter and sometimes laughter. You viewed each time you made him laugh as a victory and he enjoyed teasing you to the point of making you red in the face. His demeanor towards you changed. Slowly, his snippy remarks began to dwindle and he seemed to smile more, although you couldn’t be sure if it was because of your company.

~

Not all days were good. Some days Loki would be in one of his horrid moods. You came to the cell one day to find most of his furniture overturned. His cell was a wreck and Loki seemed to mirror his room. His hair was a tangled mess, and dark circles hung under his eyes. Part of you wanted to get angry with him. To yell, to curse, to hit at him for making you clean up after him. But you didn’t. There was still that lingering sadness in his eyes, hidden behind the slyness. You could see he was hurting in ways you couldn’t imagine and so you took it in stride.

He would apologize once his episodes would end. He would read to you from his favorite books, as a sort of peace offering, or make sure to clean up immediately after your meals so that you wouldn’t have to. You never forgave him out loud, but he must have known you didn’t hate him too much because you kept returning. Day after day.

One night you returned to bring him dinner and you could tell he was in one of his dark moods. He hadn’t destroyed himself or the room, thank god, but you could sense the change in his demeanor as he ate. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong, or shall we continue this night in silence?” You meant it as a friendly nudge. You knew sometimes playful taunts could pull him out of his darkness, but instead he just shook his head.

“I think I would prefer to be alone tonight. Your presence is not needed.” He stood up from the table and walked to his reading chair where he plopped down. Normally, you would have obliged and left, but something was nagging at the back of your mind. A silent command. Stay.

You rose from your seat and slowly made your way towards him. He watched you move closer, his weary eyes seemed to brighten as you took your seat across from him at the edge of his bed. “Something is troubling you,” you say softly, “Please, let me help you.” Loki’s face became unbearably soft as he looked at you with complete tenderness. “You can’t. I’m haunted… the things I’ve done…” he placed his head in his hands and shuddered.

“Loki,” you said gently as you reached over and placed a hand on his knee, “I think it’s time you told me about New York.” Loki lifted his head to look at you. He looked pained at the mention of his biggest failure. He had refused to mention it, and you had been careful to avoid the subject. But you couldn’t stand to see him so broken. Maybe if he talked about it…

“If I told you what happened,” he began slowly. He took your hand off of his knee and held it in his hand gently, looking at it rather than you, using the tips of his fingers to trace the lines on your palm, “you might very well hate me.” A shiver ran down your spine as he touched you. He looked up at you again, his tired eyes searched yours.

“Would it matter if I did?” You asked. Loki gave a shaky laugh, “Perhaps not, but I don’t want this to be the story that scares you away. I was actually starting to enjoy your company.”

You felt a lump in your throat. "I told you before... I am not easily frightened." Loki realized there was no swaying you, or perhaps he needed the outlet. Maybe he could no longer hold back the secrets that haunted him.

He let go of your hand, almost unwillingly, and watched as you slowly pulled it back to rest in your lap. He took a ragged breath, waiting a moment, as if to savor the last moment of normalcy between the two of you. A part of you feared what his story entailed. What had truly happened on Earth?

~

After he finished his story, he finally looked up at you to gage your reaction. You had your hands balled into fists, and they trembled slightly in your lap. Loki noticed them immediately and his face went a little slack. "I'm sorry," he muttered. You blinked at his words. "Sorry? Loki—" you struggled to find the words. A million thoughts were racing through your mind, making you almost dizzy as you tried to formulate a response.

Before you could do so, Loki rose from his chair and began to pace the room. "I realize it's too late for apologies, for all of the wrongs I've done, but you wanted the truth and there it is. I am a monster. A frost giant dressed up as a Prince, an unworthy son, a villain— I am all of those things, and look at you now. Scared of me for it."

"Scared?" You demanded. "You think I'm scared of you? Loki," you stood up from where you were sitting and stepped towards him until he stood only a foot away. "Loki, I am angry for you." Loki was the one to blink in surprise this time. "What?" he gawked. “You were lied to… your whole life. Pitted against your brother for something so trivial as a throne…” You shook your head at the thought of Loki’s story. How much pain had Odin caused? “And then there’s Earth…” You took a step closer to Loki, fighting the urge to wrap your arms around him.

"Loki—Thanos tortured you, manipulated you into overtaking Earth for him... How can you not see that?" Loki remained silent as you continued. "He should be here in these cells, rotting away for his crimes, not you. If you told Odin, maybe he would-"

"NO!" Loki shouted, "My father cannot know about Thanos. You have no idea what the Titan is capable of y/n, he would bring his armies to destroy Asgard." You threw up your hands in frustration. "But this may be the very thing needed to set you free! Help Odin find Thanos, help lead Thor and his Avengers to him and let real justice be done. Your mother would see to it, I know she would. Anything that could grant you your freedom." Ideas flooded your head. Perhaps there was a way to free Loki from his prison. You didn't realize how much you wanted this to be a reality until now. But now you had all of the facts. Loki did not act alone. Loki was not the one to be facing punishment.

"Don't," Loki croaked in front of you. You stilled for a moment, the hope that was rising through your chest was sharply cut off by the look on his face. He had no intention of fighting. "It is kind of you to have such sympathy for me, but it is undeserved. Thanos might have had a hand in the siege of Earth, but it was my hand that held the scepter, my hand that took those lives. And I will not risk losing Asgard by provoking Thanos any further than I already have. My mere presence here is damming enough."

“And so what, you’re just going to stay here? Locked away for the rest of your life? Is that what you want?” You asked incredulously. Loki just gave a dry laugh. “I hardly get what I want,” he looked at you, his eyes glimmered for a moment as he searched your face, “But believe me, it’s what I deserve.”

You crossed your arms in defiance. You couldn’t believe how easily he was willing to just give up. He noticed your posture and flashed a small smile. “Such a fiery thing,” he mused. He held out his hand toward you, and slowly you slipped your hand into his as he pulled you towards his living area. He motioned for you to sit down in his armchair as he slid into his bed. “Let’s not end the night with us bickering. Come, I’ll read to you a while before you leave.”

He pulled out a book from his shelf and began to dip through the pages. You let yourself relax a bit in the chair. If he didn’t want to talk about it anymore tonight, fine. But you had no intentions of keeping quiet once you left this cell. “What would you want?” You asked softly. Loki arched his brows at the question. “You said before that you hardly ever get what you want. So what would you want? What’s something I can do?” Playfulness danced in his eyes. “I could think of a few things that you could do,” he murmured, a grin inching across his face. You rolled your eyes, and ignored the flush of your cheeks.

Loki’s face softened, and the mischievous demeanor slipped away. “If I could have anything,” he began slowly, taking care to articulate his words almost as if he were nervous. “I wouldn’t want to be alone tonight. You can’t imagine how— eerie this place feels at night. It can be soul crushing.” You blinked at him. He seemed serious in his words, and your heart lurched a bit in your chest. This was something you could do. You rose from the chair and hurried across the room to the cell door. You turned to Loki, your breathing uneven as you enacted your plan. “I’ll return soon, trust me.” He just gave you a small confused nod of his head as you slipped out of the cell.

~

Returning had been as difficult as you imagined. First, you had your daily check in with Frigga. She asked about Loki, and if he needed any more books, or clothes, even if he enjoyed the food. She had been pleased to hear that you joined him for meals, that you treated him as an actual person. You wanted to tell her everything that Loki had relayed to you, but now was not the time. You had made a promise.

Sneaking back into the cell was another matter. You had to wait for the guard change during lights out to slip back into the cell. You were careful to not knock anything over in the dark as you stumbled toward Loki’s room. “Loki—“ you began to say as your foot snagged on a edge of a rug. Hands were holding you before you could even Yelp, steadying you in the darkness. “You came,” Loki’s low voice hummed in your ear. “I said I would.”

Your eyes began to adjust to the darkness in the room. Loki had been right. It was eerie here at night. You imagined how being alone with your thoughts in this kind of darkness could lead someone to madness. Loki kept a hand on your shoulder as you felt around for the bed. You had returned in your nightwear, wrapping a dark cloak around yourself as you snuck through the castle. You removed the cloak and inched your way into Loki’s bed, ignoring the pounding in your head as you did so. You felt him lay beside you, the heat of him warmed your side as you stared blankly into the darkness. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“I could get in trouble for this,” you replied in the same hushed whisper, “They might throw me in one of these cells if they catch me.” You felt Loki laugh beside you. It was odd to be so close to him, especially in the engulfing darkness. It felt like energy buzzed around you. As if you were in a vacuum of space, floating along aimlessly in the darkness. At least you weren’t alone.

“How could you get in trouble? Clearly, you were seduced by the imprisoned prince with his quick words and stunning looks. After tending to me every day, it was only inevitable that you would fall victim to my charm.” This time you found yourself laughing, taking care to cover your mouth as you did so. “I guess that would be the easier explanation as to why they’ll find me in your bed,” you teased. You let your hand fall from your mouth back to your side, but accidentally put it in top on Loki’s. At first you went to move it immediately, but stopped when you felt the curve of his fingers hook around yours.

“Loki-“ you warned. “What is that song you’re always humming?” Loki asked quietly, letting his hand wrap around yours. His fingers intertwined with yours and you did not pull away. “It’s a lullaby,” you finally respond, “my mother would sing it to me as a child. It calms me.” Loki strummed his thumb over your hand but did not move outside of that. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you stared into the darkness. “While I am making a habit of being selfish tonight, can I ask one more thing of you?” Loki asked.

“Sure,” you whispered, feeling your voice choke up in your throat. “Would you hum it— the song?” You smirked in the darkness. “I thought you said it was incessant noise?” Loki just gave a small chuckle. “Perhaps it’s grown on me,” he murmured, “your silly little song.” Your eyelids felt droopy. The only thing that reminded you that you were awake was the soft touch of Loki’s hand in yours. You smiled, knowing he couldn’t see you and began to hum. You hummed until Loki’s breathing slowed into a soft rhythm, and his hand stilled in yours. You hummed until the darkness over took your senses, and your head nestled into the crook of the Prince’s neck.

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

okay so apparently the post i made at 4am last night about the denholm family legacy and corresponding mental health implications blew up and now i'm receiving all sorts of screaming (/pos) in the tags. on a Related note, i've been brainrotting about p!scott's character intro sequence so much and now i Need to yell about all this somewhere or i'm gonna cry.

"Okay (×7), what do I need? Big day. BIG day. Okay. Okay, um, let's get the spyglass Dad got me and… Mum got me the new journal [to] write down all my discoveries."

the fact that the journal p!scott was using as a diary was meant for THIS. THIS was what it was meant to be used for. i would just like to point this out to y'all.

the EXPECTATIONS from the very start. good god it's so offhand of a comment but i am Stuck here. the Expectation of following in your family's footsteps. it's not just "do what We did" but also "do what you are Supposed to do".

"What else do I need? Ehm… outfit, check… oh, food! Um, Mum said… there we go, she'd made me five mutton wraps, okay, this will- I'm a little bit hungry… no, I shouldn't, I gotta save this; this has got to do me for a while until I can, like, find my own things. Ehm, what else do I need to take? It's Initiation Day, so everything starts here."

i don't have much of a comment on this. i really don't. only thing i can probably say is my headcanon of p!scott learning to cook from his mother.

"Um… the sword. Right. This is a family heirloom; it's served all the other Herons well, it'll serve me well, I'll definitely- I'm gonna discover so many things, I'm gonna make everyone proud, just like I was… born to do. Just like I was meant to do, 'cause I'm a Heron and that's- it's all I've ever been, and it's all I'm… was ever gonna be."

god the RESIGNATION. just. the resignation of having so much pressure put on you that it can crush rocks without using a machine. there's no way out of Being in the heron faction and doing what herons are Supposed to do. we see in the vods it's not that you Don't enjoy exploring and discovering things, but Man, would you prefer to do it on your own terms?

(what was going through your head when your brother turned up on the isles again, after you thought star dead and mourned star for a year? when star decided to join a Different faction from you and go against all you both have been taught?)

(you called the nightingales stars "new family" during the dipper quest. it's undeniable that you still love your brother and we all know that, but do you feel abandoned in that star has left you to join a new faction and have stars own life? do you feel that being in different factions means you Shouldn't have a place in stars life anymore, though you refuse to let your actions show it? do you envy star for having escaped the toxic environment where you both grew up in? that while you were born and saddled with all the expectations, star shouldn't have had to worry as much because your parents put all their eggs in a single basket, i.e. you?)

and the sword. the sword being a physical Reminder of all the baggage that comes with being raised by Internationally Famous parents who Expect you to do the same or risk their disappointment… something you either can't imagine or would rather not imagine?

"Ehm, hm… well, I'm- I guess this is everything. (sigh) Here we go. It's the life I always wanted, or at least, the life that I was given."

ohhhhh god the implication of being told this is the life you are Supposed to aspire to. and going along with it because you were raised to believe this is the life you Should have and internalizing it because you can barely even Imagine an alternative.

even when you ask yourself, "do you Really want to live like this?", do you hesitate to answer? it is just a yes/no question but does your answer Always have a "but" after it? because going against what you've been taught growing up is Not An Option For You, at least in your mind?

oh to think when someone asks, "how do you Live like this?", the response in your heart is "you don't." because in a toxic household, there is only survival and you Build Your Bed on surviving based on what you have been taught. because you can barely fathom a life where this Isn't the case.

"Alright, I'm gonna be late. Look out, world, Scott Denholm, #1 Heron, ready for action!"

this sounds like an assurance of confidence, yeah, but who Are you trying to convince? are you telling the world, or are you telling yourself? with all that you have already said, one might wonder which is truly the case.

(also, when cc!scott said that his character had "anxiety" from trying to live up to the expectations, was this supposed to mean "anxiety (emotion)" or "anxiety (disorder)"? because while the first one is very obvious, i would not be surprised if the second one happens to be the case as well.)

in summary: p!acho is a walking embodiment of trauma and drops it in Moments across many livestreams so you don't forget. p!scott is Also a walking embodiment of trauma but drops it in the first three minutes of the series and Never speaks of it again.

[copias-juicebox]

It's a Sin Chapter 2

Part 1 | Part 3 Part 4

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x fem! Reader Words: 5144 Genre: romance, angst, smut, fluff, hurt/comfort, SLOWBURN Warnings: explicit languge, violence, abuse, age gap, smut (in the upcoming chapters blabla)

Notes: so i finally got to write down the next part. I am sorry it took so long. Been procrastinating for ages. I was very insecure to write this but i actually found a very sweet soul here to help me. This is why i have decided to dedicate this chapter to the lovely @fishwithtitz. Literally an angel (or demon idk) sent from up or down. However she helped me soooo much writing this and without her you would not be reading this now. So huge kudos and all the love and appreciation for this amazing woman. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 (you should check out her works she is such a wonderful writer.)

18 years. It had been 18 long years since the night you ran away. The last time you were in your hometown was nearly two decades ago. And now, you are back.

It was so long ago, you barely even remembered the night at all. In your mind, there was just that awful night that resulted in your parents sending you away to learn the discipline they tried to beat into you, mentally and sometimes even physically. The dreadful day you wanted to forget so badly. Remembering that day and the following consequences had a shiver run down your spine. It left you with many scars mentally and you avoided thinking about it.

The school your parents chose for you was a few hours away from your home. It turned out to be an all girls school, run by catholic nuns that would enforce their teaching in only one way. “The way of God“ they always said.

You and all the other young girls had to learn what the nuns taught. The school followed the curriculum like any other school. Mathematics, language arts, science (even if many scientific facts were altered to fit the catholic beliefs), social studies and fine arts. Of course they taught everything from a catholic root and some of the subjects were taught in a very traditional way. Special courses in Bible work and Latin were forced on the students every afternoon. Even the fine arts like music and visual art they kept to a stern regulation. Any indication of „unholyness“ in the themes would be followed by extra bible lessons and hours spent in prayer with the Sister on duty. Nonetheless, your parents would not have sent you here if it were not run by catholic women in service of God. Like all the other girls, you had to obey the many arbitrary rules they set up. If you did not, they made sure you and everyone else were punished in quite severe ways. The nuns could be harsh and unforgiving. One time, a group of girls were found outside after curfew and they had to face the stick and had been locked away for a week.

In the beginning, you had a hard time— but you learned fast and they rarely found you breaking the rules in your later years. That did not mean you just rarely broke them, of course. You just had to be clever about it. Luckily, you were intelligent and learned to maneuvre your way the world. As they say “learn to swim, or you will drown.“ It was hard of course. You honestly tried to be a good girl. You told no lies, and that was when it would become very hard for you to stick to the teachings of the church since the nuns would ask you if they were suspicious of your actions. You always told them half truths. Enough to please them but never telling them nearly enough because that would get you hit with a paddle, your dinner forgone for days and hours of disciplinary work with the nuns to make you find your way back to God. The irony behind their words was never lost on you, only making your and everyone longing for freedom from God stronger.

As a girl, living in a world ruled by men and women acting in service of mankind, you had no say in your future. Your career was chosen long before you could even imagine working at some time in your life. So as soon as you settled into your new school, a nun called Sister Angela would ask you to help her in the infirmary. You were supposed to learn everything from a young age to later become a nurse. Sister Angela was an old and very strict sister. But you found she was actually very kind and warm inside. She was the closest thing you got to a mother figure in your new life so far away from your home. She taught you everything you knew. Everything about the school and the church that ruled over it.

She was very understanding when you were in your teenage years and even helped you once in a while when you were close to facing punishment for not doing your assigned chores in time for the 3rd time in a week. Without her, you might have ended up in a way worse condition than you luckily did. Some nights she was your rock in the waves, supporting you when you needed someone.

Luckily, your new occupation became a passion. You had always been happy to help anyone in need. No matter how. As long as you could help, you would nearly do anything to make other people’s lives easier. A people pleaser. That earned you a lot of praise in the later years from the people in town who got to benefit from your goodhearted nature many times over the years. That was the best feeling in the world — to be appreciated for your work filled you with happiness and it made your heart swell with pride.

After you graduated, you chose to pursue volunteer work on the streets. Helping others in need felt like your calling, and your parents were very happy about it. Working there for a few months gave you time to meet new people, and one day, a man came to you. He explained to you that he was working for a non profit organisation, and if you were interested, he could help you find a job. He would just need to know what your conditions were, and he would try to find a place that would be in dire need of a nurse.

You had been very grateful since you were in need of a job soon anyway. The volunteer work filled you with contentment, but you had to pay bills and your savings were wearing thin. You contacted him and told him that you would like to work somewhere for a church. You told him that you were not too picky, as long as you got your own room.

A few days later, he called you back telling you he found one place that was in desperate need of a nurse and under good conditions as well. It was an old church in a secluded area. They were offering to cover your living expenses, housing, food was inclusive, and they would pay you well enough. One extra perk they offered was that you could take courses in literature or arts for those who liked it. You were pleased to see that the church was located in the very same town you called your home, and since it was a church, you knew your parents would be supporting you to work there. „The Emeritus Church“ was what the guy on the phone said. You‘d never heard of that church before, but you figured it was a place of retired church officials and since you knew the older generation was not fond of electronic devices, you did not think too much of it when you did not find their website mentioned on the list of official catholic churches in your hometown.

You happily accepted the offer and tomorrow was the big day — the day you would start your first day as a nurse in the church.

You stood in front of the train station now. You could no longer live with your parents since they had moved away to another town 40 minutes away and a Sister, Sister Hannah from the Church with whom you had been writing, told you there would be a car to escort you to your new workplace. You were never that nervous in your life. Sister Hannah told you it would be a black Mercedes. She would be there waiting with the driver, and after a short period of time, you spotted a black S-Class rolling into your view.

The car came to halt in front of you and the door on the passenger side opened. A beautiful woman got out of the car. She was about your age you assumed. She wore a black habit and a big smile. As she approached you, the first thing that caught your attention were her shining grey-coloured eyes.

„Hello there. I am Sister Hannah. You might just call me Hannah if you like. You must be our new nurse — and a pretty one at that.“ She started with a warm smile, already fully aware you were the newest member in the ministry. When she stood before you, she extended a hand for you to shake. You smiled at her and took her hand giving her your name.

„It is nice to meet you, Sister Hannah. Yes it is me, I guess.“ you responded with your own smile.

„Wonderful. I am so glad you are here now. Let us not wait for too long here and get your stuff inside the car then. I want to show you a lot today.“

You nodded and began to lift your heavy bags off the ground when Hannah stopped you. „Oh no love don‘t do that I can let the Ghoul carry your stuff you need not to worry about it.“ She was already back at the car speaking to the driver.

You stared at her a bit lost. Did she just call the driver a ghoul? Poor guy might not have an angels face but surely there as no reason to call the poor thing a ghoul was it? Before you could think about it any longer a man opened up the door and walked in your direction. You stared at him wide eyed, not moving an inch when you saw he was actually wearing a silver mask that covered his whole head. The mask had little horns on top and underneath he seemed to wear a black balaclava that covered up his whole face so you could not even see his eyes. Just the mouth was free and he stopped right in front of you, tilting his head to the side.

Sister Hannah was next to you in a heartbeat. „So, this is our new nurse, Swiss. You better behave around her, yeah? Don‘t want me to complain about it to Papa again, right?“

The masked man in front of you turned his head sharply to Sister Hannah at that and just as sharply he looked back at you giving you a big teethy smile, motioning for your bags. You had not realized, but you were holding your bags in a death-like grip. The whole situation was so bizarre.

You gave the odd guy whose name was Swiss your bags. „Oh no, they are quite heavy, you should not carry them all at once.“ He took the heavy bags like they weighed nothing and carried them to the trunk of the car. That was impressive. He did not look like a specifically muscular guy, but you decided to brush it off when Hannah spoke up next to you.

„Perfect, so then let us get going, yeah?“ You followed her to the car and slid into the black soft leather seat behind the passenger where Sister Hannah sat down. The car was very expensive you could tell. The interior was very clean and stylish and the upholstery was not too hard and not too soft. It was very comfortable. This church was very well off you thought.

„So, tomorrow is your first official day, so today we have enough time to get you settled in. I am going to show you around the ministry and maybe we can even get a glimpse of Papa before you officially meet him tomorrow,” She exclaimed, giving you a wink.

„Ah yes that sounds wonderful. I‘d love to see the place and get used to it a bit before I have to put all my energy in the job. But uh..“ you hesitated a bit not sure how you were going to ask her.

Hannah felt your hesitation „Before I forget. Please feel free to ask me anything ok. Or if something is bothering you I am always there with open ears ok?“

You contemplated her words. „Okay uh.. you know, I was just wondering, you mentioned Papa?“ you asked with confusion in your voice.

„Oh you know Papa Emeritus the Third, sweetheart! This is actually his ministry. Even though the Cardinal runs the place mostly. But surely you heard about it.“ Hannah added.

„Uh, no, I actually don‘t know any of these people you‘ve mentioned.“ you muttered.

At that she turned around in her seat, facing you with a questioning look in her eyes.

„Oh you don‘t? I am sorry but how..?“ She contemplated for a bit. „Wait, are you..?“ She stopped mid sentence. „I need to ask you this now. You are a sister of Sin right?“

You locked eyes with her and furrowed your brows. Did she just say ‚Sister of Sin‘? The following silence stretched on for what felt like an eternity. None of you spoke, yet none of you looked away. That silence was only broken when Hannah started laughing out hysterically. „Oh Satan this is good. I mean oh I don‘t mean to be rude but this is probably the funniest thing to happen all year.“ You could not help yourself but start laughing along. Whenever there was something utterly ridiculous you could not stay serious. Doesn‘t matter how significant and bad a situation might be if it was just all too crazy you couldn‘t help yourself.

„Oh my God are you actually serious?“ you giggled.

„I mean, yeah. Ugh, this is so funny.“ she still could not contain her laughter. After a moment she calmed down and began again. „Okay sis, so here is the thing. I will get straight to the point: we are the ministry of Papa Emeritus the Third. I am a declared Sister of Sin and we are worshiping Satan.“

Her words left you speechless. You visibly gulped when you heard her speak of a satanic church. The church you were going to work in. It all left a bitter taste on your tongue and you were uncertain of your choices now. Was it all a bad idea to come here? Should you just run for your life? You were lost and remained still.

She gazed at you unsure of your reaction. „I hope you are not too shocked to hear that your new workplace is literally a satanic church, but I can assure you we are not what you have heard about us. There is no cruelty or sacrificing animals or whatever horror stories are rumored out on the streets. And I deeply hope that you are not going to quit now that you know about our beliefs.“ She begged and looked at you with puppy dog eyes. „I mean, we really need you sister. And we are actually very nice people, you know. I know our reputation is bad, but we believe in equality and justice. Our beliefs are truly well intended and I hope you can at least try and see for yourself, right?“

You just stared at her bewildered, still processing what you‘d heard. You were shocked to hear that. All your life you had only ever heard about them. They perform dark rituals asking for selfish powers. Committing sins, doing the devils deeds, and harming others while doing so. Corrupting every innocent soul out there with immoral beliefs.

But you swore to help others, no matter what side they stood on. Your calling was to help others, and so far, Sister Hannah was actually very kind and nice to you. She made it easy to speak to her and she was very open with you, and you appreciated that. Plus, the offer was just too good not to at least give Satan a chance you thought.

You blinked once or twice, completely overwhelmed with the new piece of information you just got. Hannah waved her hand in front of your face. „Girl, are you still with us? You better not suffer from a heart attack. I don‘t know how to deal with that, you are the nurse and Papa will be mad if I kill our new nurse before she starts her official first day.“

Her words brought you back to the car and Hannah was still looking at you expectantly.

„Ah, well, that really is something new to me, but if you promise me that everyone is nice there and there won‘t be any sacrifices, then I will take a look at your ministry and make my own opinion about it, I guess.“ You decided not to tell her that you were raised strictly catholic. It would only make things more awkward if you did, and since you no longer lived with your parents, you had not practiced your religion as your parents thought you did. In fact, most of the teachings that the nuns and your parents repeated endlessly you did not agree on. They sounded wrong to you and you never understood how in this time so many believed in them. When the nuns told you to always listen to your husband no matter how nonsensical it would be because he was in charge of the woman. When they spoke of God's grace, and yet, he is the one who murdered thousands of innocents just to prove a point or punish one man who did something to anger him. It all made very little sense to you. They were preaching how to be, how to act at all times, that you should always go to church and carry Jesus in your heart. If you did not go to the masses, you‘d face punishment. They forced you and the other girls into a way of living you had not asked for. Of course you could never let anyone know you had doubts. That would only harm yourself more than it could help.

„Oh yes. Thank you. I knew right away you were a good one.“ Hannah cheered. „So now that I know where we stand I should warn you. The ministry probably looks a little intimidating to you. I don‘t know how open you are towards the dark and macabre. We are headed to the woods right now. I know what you are thinking, but really I swear on the Dark One that you have nothing to worry about.“

The road was heading to the outside of town, nearing the woods as Hannah explained to you. After a few minutes more you arrived at a huge rusty and weathered gate.

The heavy wrought iron gate was opened by another man wearing similar clothing and mask as your driver when you came closer. Behind the bars, you caught a glimpse of a huge dark coloured mansion-like building. Nearing the front gate of the main building, you watched in awe as you took in the massive, dark and brooding facade. The heavy stone bricks and intricate decorations established a gothic look of an aged, magnificent architectural house. Thick spines of ivy crawled up the sides of the stone indicating the old age of the whole construction.

The limousine stopped in front of the door and you finally got out of the car. Sister Hannah and the driver got out, and while Hannah led you to the entrance, the driver went to the trunk, pulling out your bags.

„Welcome to the ministry of Papa Emeritus the Third.“ Hannah announced cheerfully, „Swiss love, could you bring the bags inside? I will be showing our new friend here the grounds so she won‘t get lost tomorrow.“ she beamed at you and grabbed your arm linking hers with yours in the process.

As you walked to the entrance, she started explaining to you about the „chain of command“ in the ministry. „I mean, there is not really a true hierarchy. You are still very free to do whatever you want, and if you don‘t want something, you don‘t have to. But Papa is our highest ranking official, and usually we do what he asks of us. I can promise you that he would never ask you to do something you are not willing to do. He can be considered to be our ‘Pope,’ if you will…just better. Oh, and don’t fret when you see Papa for the first time. He has a uh... how should I say... ‘special’ look.“ she smirked, opening the door.

„So, this is the atrium. From here, you can get basically anywhere in the main building.“ She continued leading you around, starting from the cellar, showing you where the kitchen is located, should you ever feel the need for a late night snack, to the main floor where all the official rooms were placed. All the time she informed you about the happenings and everyday life in the ministry. Everyone was tasked with different assignments. The rotation was usually planned by the Cardinal. As the nurse you would not have to do the housework like the Brothers and Sisters of Sin since your job was far more complicated and important than theirs.

She even showed you around outside. The grounds were huge and beautiful. There was a greenhouse located at the far end of the property. Right next to that a big garden bloomed in the sunlight with pretty flowers. Most of them were dark red and black roses.

„They are Primos favourites,“ Hannah informed you when you stopped to take a closer look. “He is very fond and proud of them. So, you better not pick any, or if you do, you better not get caught.” She winked. “The lovebirds here sneak out at night and do all the nasty, sinful things in the garden, and they like to pick a rose after that as a reminder you see. Primo gets mad every time.” Hannah giggled.

The sun had begun to set and the last warm rays of sunshine warmed your skin. It was a truly magical place. You admired every old stone of the walls, every green leaf and every particle of light that cascaded down to the old walls. But like everything in this world, the day was coming to an end, and Hannah suggested you retire for the day.

“We better get you back inside now. I can show you the rest later if you like, or you could roam around on your own.” With that you both made your way back to the main building.

So far, there was nothing too unsettling about the place. The dark decorations with pentagrams and skulls everywhere would be a bit off putting if deep down you didn‘t appreciate the dark. It was one of your biggest ever secrets, but the dark, mysterious, and morbid interested you. It always had.

You and Hannah stood in front of the staircase now. „So, upstairs are the living quarters of the Brothers and Sisters, and yours would be located at the very end of the hall. I will escort you. You must be tired now, and I don‘t want to overwhelm you more than you already are.“

When you reached the top of the stairs, you saw two figures conversing with each other. One of them wore a white dress shirt under a black coat with a crucifix sewed onto the fabric on the left side of his robe. He was wearing dark dress pants accompanied by black and white shoes. The most significant visual effect he had on you was his face. He wore black and white face paint that made him appear to have a skull like head. His pitch black hair was combed back and his piercing eyes made you breathe in sharply. His left eye was white, in stark contrast to the one on the right, which appeared to be greenish. You stared at him, but he was not as unsettling as you would have imagined him to be.

Your gaze met his mesmerizing eyes as you came closer to him, and he kept his eyes on you this whole time. When both you and Hannah stopped in front of the man, she was the first to speak.

“Good evening Papa,” She bowed her head. “Cardinal?” She turned her head to the second man standing there in greeting.

“This is our new nurse. Picked her up by myself from the train station this morning. I was showing her around our ministry.” Then she turned around to you. “This is Papa Emeritus the Third.” She gestured to the man with the skull make-up and you extended your hand to him.

The hypnotizing man turned his whole body to you now, looking down at your hand and then back up into your eyes, catching your hand in his and bowing down to kiss it, all the while holding eye contact.

“La mia bella signorina. Piacere di conoscerti. You must have been sent by Lucifer himself to grace our insignificant church by your beauty.” He almost purred. “You can call me Terzo, bella.” His deep voice sent pleasant shivers down your spine. He was smooth and elegant in a way you were not prepared for. Especially considering his appearance, you were surprised to be treated so gently.

“Thank you. Papa Terzo,” You responded by giving him your name as well. That earned you a smile from him. You had no idea what the first words he spoke to you meant, but they didn’t sound harsh or distasteful. He gazed at you and kept your hand in his for a moment longer than necessary. This action had you blushing slightly. You were lost in his eyes.

Your moment was interrupted when Sister Hannah spoke up again. “And this is Cardinal Copia.”

The movement on the side broke you out of your daze and you looked to the other man. When your eyes found his, you noted they looked similar to Papa Emeritus the Third’s eyes. The left eye was alabaster, while the right eye was a soft emerald. He also wore black makeup around his eyes. He appeared to be a middle-aged man with sideburns and a pencil mustache above his lips. Scanning his face, you noted that his upper lip was also painted black. He wore a black tight cassock and an accompanying black biretta.

He fidgeted around when your eyes skimmed over his appearance for a moment and you gave him a smile. When you held out your hand to him to shake it, he hesitantly grabbed it and gave it a small shake.

“I am also very pleased to make your acquaintance,” The Cardinal muttered in a low voice, bowing down slightly. He could not hold eye contact while speaking to you, and his movement was a bit awkward. He looked down to his feet and when he came back up, his eyes were back on Terzo.

“Now, if you’d excuse us, our new nurse is very exhausted from the day and would like to retreat to her chambers to get some sleep before she officially starts tomorrow.” Hannah said in a sing-song voice and you two walked to the end of the corridor, vanishing behind the door of your new chambers.

“What a pretty flower. Satan must be very pleased with us, don't you think Cardinal?” Terzo rejoiced. “I just fear that our dear brothers and sisters will fake injuries now or intentionally hurt themselves to have her take care of them, sí?” He laughed.

Copia just nodded his head in response, stunned by the beauty of you. His head was going to be occupied by your gorgeous smile for a while. He could not help himself. Something about you seemed so familiar, but he could not pin it down and decided to brush it off for now since Terzo was still waiting for his answer on whether he was getting his mini fridge or not.

You and Sister Hannah entered your new quarters. The room was not outstanding in size or decoration but occupied everything you needed. In fact, you had some extras granted to you that the regular brothers and sisters did not have. First, you got your own rooms that you did not have to share with anyone. Your bed was significantly bigger than usual and you had your own bathroom.

“Oh my lord, you are such a lucky girl.” Hannah squealed right after she closed the door behind you. “You just met Papa, and oh Satan, isn’t he just wonderful?” She swooned. “You made me a little jealous there, not gonna lie to you. But let me warn you. Papa is very flirtatious. You shouldn’t let him get to you too much. Unless you are down for it, of course. Then ignore what I said.” She smiled. “He is very horny too, so I am just trying to inform you before you find out the hard way.” After a moment she realized how that sounded. “Oh, not that he would force himself on you, or whatever, no but his innuendos are very straightforward sometimes. I reckon that can be quite shocking.”

You sighed, plopping down on the bed. “Oh my God, this is all so much to process I feel like my brain is going to explode.” You were still very much in a state of shock and wonder. The whole thing was just so ridiculous. At some point, you thought it was all a dream, and when you woke up none of this would be real. But you knew better and this place just felt far too real. Not even your messed up mind could conjure such an odd scenario.

“Oh sis, I understand. I will leave you to yourself then. Have a good night's rest. I will pick you up tomorrow at 7. Your clothing should be in the wardrobe over there. And I think you’ll get by here in your chambers just fine, yeah?” She was already out the door when she stuck her head back inside. “By the way, sis, I am very glad you are here.” She gave you a soft, sincere smile and closed the door.

You decided to relax for the rest of the evening. After spending about ten more minutes on your bed contemplating everything that happened in the past few hours, you got up and started unpacking the necessary items from your bags. After all, you were not sure if this place was for you. Your friends would give you questioning looks if you told them where you worked, your parents would be mortified. You let out a laugh imagining them coming to the ministry with crucifixes and bottles of holy water to cleanse this place and rescue their sweet little child. No, you could never tell them.

You prepared everything for tomorrow and went to bed with a book to ease your mind. Tomorrow was going to be an eventful day.

If anyone would like I could offer to make a taglist so you would get notified for updates on this. Just let me know yes?

[foxyanon]

The Vampiress and the Dane: Part 1

Summary: Her presence plagued him for 30 years, but will he admit to both her and himself that he craves her? Or will his prejudice push her away for good?

Pairing: Sihtric Kjartansson x Corvina

Word Count: 4,500

Rating: 18+, Minors DNI

TW: Sexual themes, blood, violence, older woman/younger man dynamic

Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from The Last Kingdom nor do I own any of the images used. I only own my OC, Corvina and her AI image.

Dividers by @arcielee and @saradika-graphics

He hated her. Absolutely despised her. Couldn’t stand the very sight of her. At least, that’s what he told himself every night when those irritating thoughts of her found their way to the forefront of his mind, his hand sliding beneath the waistband of his breeches to fist his cock, her name falling from his lips as he pictured her writhing in pleasure beneath him when he spilled himself in his hand.

The woman he both hated and craved for nearly three decades. No, not a woman. A vampire, a very old and powerful one at that. Corvina.

He hated her pale skin, as soft and beautiful as the snow of the lands of Norway where she was born. He couldn’t stand her perfect ruby red lips, so kissable but hiding those sharp pearly, white fangs of hers. He despised that long dark brown hair, the way it fell in soft waves down her back when she wore it loose and how it contrasted with her skin, making her look even more unnaturally stunning. The worst was her eyes. Those damn gorgeous and absolutely mesmerizing blood red eyes. He swore just one look was enough to cause any sane man to fall under her spell, the result of her vampiric compulsion.

But he’d be lying because he knew that wasn’t it. After thirty years of knowing Corvina, Sihtric knew it wasn’t magic she used to charm men like him. It was her gentle and caring nature, so unlike the others of her kind. It was the way she was always there for him and his friends, never with a harsh word or judgement. He was so used to being talked down to by Saxons and Danes alike, be it for his paganism or his status as Kjartan’s bastard. But not with her, never with her. No, her sweet voice and kind words always caused his cheeks to flush red and he hated it. She should be spiteful and cruel, like he had been taught all vampires are, but no. She had to go and be different, so caring and thoughtful and gentle. Sihtric had wanted to scream to the gods themselves that they were truly cruel to curse such an amazing woman to be an immortal beast, destined to live her life in the shadows.

He remembers the first time Uhtred had told Finan, Osferth and him about her. He was barely 20, a fresh faced warrior in his lord's service. It was 886 at the Battle of Beamfleot when Uhtred decided to attack the fortress in an attempt to free Aethelflaed from the clutches of Erik and Sigefrid. There wasn’t enough men to successfully storm the fortress and Uhtred knew it, so he said he called in a favor and everyone was thrilled for the aid. How was Sihtric supposed to know it would be the very being who would haunt his every waking thought and even dreams? He remembers seeing her walking into the camp the first night, how she seemed to appear from the shadows beyond the light of the campfire. He was startled by her sudden appearance, so speechless as she gave him that little knowing grin that he almost didn’t notice the predatory gleam in her unusual eyes. Uhtred had introduced Corvina to the others and Sihtric could only stutter out a half-assed greeting to her beautiful face, before she turned and started discussing how many men she brought and plans to get Uhtred to Aethelfaed. He remembers how stunning she looked in the heat of battle, cutting down her enemies with ruthless efficiency in that damned black armor looking every inch a warrior queen that he knew she was. His breeches felt tighter when he saw her covered in blood, her eyes glowing fiercely and fangs on full display when she dragged Sigefrid in front of Uhtred, tossing his body to the ground like he weighed nothing. The siege was a success, Aethelflaed and Erik eloping and leaving East Anglia behind to start their new life, thanks to the financial contributions of none other than Corvina. Finan and Osferth gave Sihtric a hard time afterwards, saying that he was acting like a fool in love. He vehemently denied their claims, saying he was just surprised a creature like her would help them and he worried for the price she would ask. She never asked for anything.

Then of course there was that whole situation with Skade and Bloodhair, the way that damned witch cursed his lord and friend. Uhtred’s health had been failing fast and they weren’t going to make it to Dunholm, so he made the choice to seek out Corvina for her help. Of course, she opened the doors to her castle and removed the curse, never once asking for payment for her aid. Sihtric had tried to offer her one of his armrings (after Uhtred told him to give it to her) and she simply smiled, saying she wouldn’t take anything and that she was happy to help a friend. That was the first time Sihtric snarled at her, deciding then and there that she must be a manipulative creature, because no one is that nice for no reason. He hated her and he hated that hurt look in her eyes after he yelled at her even more, but his pride wouldn’t let him apologize for his outburst. No, in his youthful ignorance and arrogance, he doubled down and simply glared at her. She was a vampire, a creature of the night. A beautiful monster. He went back to his wife later on, but Sidgeflaed was only a sorry reminder of who he really wanted. He remembers taking his wife from behind that first night back, the sight of her brown hair reminding him of Corvina. It’s no surprise when he said another woman’s name in his marriage bed that his wife would be angry, leaving him and taking the children with her. He truly loathed Corvina then, blaming her for his failed marriage because he refused to accept that he was well and truly in love with her.

When Uhtred failed to regain Bebbanburg from his estranged cousin, Wihtger in 910, the men fled to the safety of Corvina’s castle and Sihtric was practically seething in frustration. He hated that they came knocking on her door looking like kicked dogs and she just let them in with a sympathetic smile, telling them they were welcome to stay as long as they needed to. Uhtred had firmly told Sihtric to mind his manners, because they couldn’t afford to get tossed out now and if he snapped on Corvina again, they would really make the square. Sihtric had bit his tongue for most of their stay, seeing her move about the castle like a damned angel amongst men. She dressed in the varying styles of the world, but he remembers that Grecian gown the most of all. The fabric was a beautiful shade of purple, something he’s never seen even the wealthiest kings of this land wear. The fabric flowed over her soft curves, her hair pulled back and pinned with golden laurel leaves. She looked like a goddess and his mouth watered at the sight of her, sitting atop the throne as she held court for her undead minions. He hated her, he told himself as he hid inside an alcove and jerked himself off, imagining burying his face between her thighs and devouring her on that very throne in front of everyone. He imagined she tasted like that ambrosia she spoke of from her time in Greece, all sweet and addicting. He felt burning shame when he came and made a mess of the wall and floor, knowing it was wrong to crave her but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stand the way her very existence seemed to bring about powerful emotions, and he hated not feeling in control of himself. He snapped at Finan and Osferth when he had returned to them, their mocking smiles grating on his nerves. As per usual, Corvina just had to glide up to them at that moment with her signature alluring smile on her face, asking what was wrong. Sihtric sneered at her and made some snarky remark before storming off, never seeing the knowing look on her face.

That was nearly 8 years ago now. Today, they stand in the war camp just outside Bebbanburg planning an attack. Uhtred intends to win this time and of course, he just had to ask Corvina for help. Sihtric had been avoiding her like the plague he convinced himself she was, but he couldn’t dodge her forever. She walked into the command tent, carrying herself with an authority that took the breath right out of his lungs. She was wearing her usual black armor, her dark hair braided back and not a hair out of place. She cut Sihtric a look, her red eyes piercing into his soul for a moment before she smiled brightly at Uhtred, hugging him with a laugh and a joke about how old he had gotten. Even Finan and Osferth, his own battle brothers, had hugged this despicable creature like an old friend, even though that was exactly what she was. He thought she looked just as beautiful as the first time he saw her nearly 30 years ago, before bitterly remembering that she doesn’t age due to her vampirism. His lips pressed into a thin line and he simply nodded at her, determined not to piss both her and Uhtred off if his mouth got away from him. Plans were made for an attack the next morning, her men joining the shield wall alongside Uhtred’s forces. Even if he couldn’t stand the sight of her, Sihtric knew she was a formidable ally and warrior, commanding respect from her people and instilling fear in the hearts of her enemies.

Sihtric found her later that night, standing on the edge of the field beside the coastal fortress and staring out over the moonlight grass. He knew her eyes were better suited to the darkness and she always studied the battlefield before the fight, something she claimed she learned from her time with the Roman Legion. She stood there with her hands clasped loosely behind her back, her back straight and head held high.

“If you are here to sass me, Sihtric, you will find I am not in the mood,” Corvina spoke in a calm voice, looking over her shoulder at the warrior. She couldn’t deny he had grown into a handsome man, the top half of his dark hair braided and the rest hanging in curls that would make anyone jealous. He was sporting a goatee, and she wondered what it feel like against her cold skin. He looked damned good, the muscles of his arms flexing as he crossed his arms and stood next to her. She wanted to bite him and those arms, wondered if his blood tasted as good as he smelled. She saw his jaw tense before he took a breath, looking at her with a serious expression.

“No, I am not here to sass you Corvina. I wanted to make sure you understood the gravity of what is happening tomorrow. We aren’t just reclaiming Bebbanburg for Uhtred, we are fighting for the fate of Northumbria itself,” he said firmly, already aggravated with himself for his thoughts running wild.

Corvina sighed, turning to face Sihtric with an exasperated expression. “I know what we fight for and we will not lose. You have fought on the shield wall with me before, you have seen me fight and you know I am not in the habit of losing. But I can tell from your tense stance that is not the real reason you are here, is it?”

Sihtric nodded, his eyes finding Corvinas. He always found them captivating, the red hue switching from a bright red to a deep burgundy depending on her mood. “No, I came because I wanted to make sure you will keep your end of the bargain. No feeding on the soldiers before or after the battle, your men stay in control and don’t succumb to bloodlust in the middle of the fighting, and all those other promises you’ve made,’ he replied in a tense tone, grinding his teeth together as he looked away from the pretty little vampire that had haunted him for his entire life.

She rolled her eyes and looked away, placing her hands on her hips as she looked down and shook her head, her words coming out with a defeated tone as she spoke. “You already know I will uphold my word, Sihtric. We have this conversation every time I agree to fight with you lot. By the gods, I am tired of this.”

Corvina turned to look at Sihtric, licking her red lips and staring into his eyes with an intensity the Dane didn’t quite like. “What have I ever done to you to make you hate me so? I have been nothing but a good and kind friend to you all, never betraying any of you like so many others have, and yet you treat me with the same level of animosity you did when you were 20. By the Aesir, you are 51 years old now. What in the hell have I done to you for you to hold a grudge after all these years?”

He remained silent for a moment, considering her words carefully. He knew had been harsh towards her in the past, his youthful ignorance causing him to be suspicious of the supernatural. He was older now and he knew better. He knew she was a powerful and loyal ally, but he also knew she could be ruthless and unforgiving. Admittedly, he had taken her for granted without fully appreciating the nuances of her character. After a moment he spoke, avoiding her searching gaze. “I know that you have never betrayed us and I know that you have been a good ally. But the fact remains that you are a vampire, and for most people that is enough to inspire fear and loathing.” It was a cop out, and they both knew it. He couldn’t admit to her that he just wanted to be in her presence, finding it to be both soothing and resolute, like an anchor in the eye of the hurricane.

Corvina shook her head, looking up to the stars and taking a deep breath before responding. “That might be most people, but you are not most people. I asked why you specifically hate me. It’s been 30 gods damned years, Sihtric. I have fought for you, taken hits for you and still it's not enough. I am owed an explanation at the least,” her words were firm, her tone indicating she wanted answers and she wanted them now.

Sihtric looked at her, his expression hardening as all his repressed emotions boiled over in the worst way possible. “Because you are a fucking vampire!” He exclaimed, his voice ringing out in the quiet of the night. “You drink blood for Thor’s sake! How can I trust someone like you?” He shook his head, trying to reign in his temper before spitting out. “You are a monster and I will never trust a creature like you.”

Hurt crossed Corvinas face for a split second before her own face hardened, her lips pressed into a thin line. He knew calling her monster was the one thing she hated, and he suddenly wished he could snatch the word back if it meant she wouldn’t look at him with such disdain.

“Goodnight, Sihtric,” she said in a harsh tone before suddenly turning on her heel and walking away with a stiff stride, determined not to let him see her cry. She may have been undead, but that didn’t mean she was completely heartless.

Sihtric watched Corvina retreat, feeling guilt and anger surge through him. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her, but his emotions got the best of him and he started running at the mouth before he could stop himself. He started pacing, muttering under his breath trying to calm himself down. “Dammit. I need to apologize to her…but first, we have a battle to win.” He went back to his tent after several minutes of cursing himself for his actions, trying and failing to get some sleep before the battle tomorrow.

He woke early the next morning, preparing for the battle and checking on his men, making sure everything was in order. He didn’t see Corvina around the camp, but he forced himself to stay focused on the fight ahead. He needed to keep his head on right if he wanted to survive the day, but he thought to himself that Valhalla would be a preferable end after the way he acted last night.

By the time the sun starts rising over the horizon, everyone is in position on the battlefield. The two opposing forces face each other, shields up and swords in hand, the deep breath before the fighting breaks out seeming to slow time. The early morning rays shone across the field, a low fog hanging between Wihtger’s men and Uhtred’s. Corvina stands next to Sihtric, their shields locked tightly in formation as they wait with bated breath for Uhtred’s command. Despite the events of the previous night, they both have grim and determined expressions on their faces, stone cold focused on the enemy.

Once the signal was given, all hell broke loose. Wihtger’s men clashed hard with the wall, but the joint forces of Uhtred’s and Corvina’s armies were not so easily broken. The sounds of clashing metal and wood, along with the battle cries of the warriors filled the otherwise calm morning air. Once the wall finally broke, Sihtric and Corvina fought back to back, slicing through their foes with brutal efficiency. He smirked when he saw Corvina hit her stride, her supernatural speed and agility unmatched by the Scots and the rest of Wihtger’s men. He saw the moment they realized what she was, the fear in their eyes for the split second before she cut them down. He tried not to stare at her, his axe swinging through the air as he managed a fatal blow on his own enemy.

After a couple hours of fighting, Uhtred’s side had cut a swath through the usurpers' forces and Wihtger was engaged in a one on one battle with Uhtred. Sihtric and Corvina pick off a few stragglers, the rest scattering to the winds at the decisive loss only to be run down by Corvina’s vampire spawn before they reach the edge of the battlefield. She turned her back for just a second, slashing the throat of a still twitching man when a monster hunter snuck up behind Corvina. She realized what was happening just as the hunter brought a silver dagger up, driving it deep into her side. She cried out in agonizing pain, dropping her shield and bringing her sword down across the man's neck, his blood spraying across her face. She collapsed to the ground with the dagger protruding from her side, another hunter running up with an elder wood stake in his hands. Corvina hissed menacingly at him, her fangs elongated and eyes glowing dangerously as she struggled against the man.

The moment Sihtric heard Corvina cry out, he turned and his heart nearly stopped. He didn’t hesitate to charge forward, swinging his axe with precision and decapitating the hunter, pushing his body off Corvina before dropping his weapon and kneeling by her side. He quickly pulled the blade out of her side, knowing that her natural healing abilities will kick in now that the silver is removed. He tossed the blade off to the side before reaching down and scooping Corvina up into his strong arms, quickly carrying her out of harm's way. Her head lolled back as she lay in his arms, Sihtric only half aware that Uhtred stood victorious over his cousin's body as he half ran back to the camp. He heard her mumble his name and he pulled her closer, looking down at her quickly with a soft expression before turning towards where her tent was. Where she was normally so strong and independent, she now looked so vulnerable in his hold. He felt a whirlwind of emotions within him, but he pushed them aside and focused on getting her back to her tent.

“Shh, It’s okay. I’ve got you, Vina,” he whispered, ignoring anyone who tried to stop him. Once inside her tent, he moved to lay her on her bed and began removing her armor and clothes, wanting to get a good look at the wound.

She hissed in pain, feeling Sihtric remove her leather cuirass and pulling her ruined tunic up enough to expose the wound to his focused gaze. She tightly gripped the furs beneath her, her breathing heavy as Sihtric grabbed a bucket of water and clean rag to begin cleaning the blood away from the gash in her side.

“I need to feed, it’s the only way I will heal. I know you hate me for being a vampire, as you so kindly put it last night, but this is who I am, Sihtric,” she said through gritted teeth, her fangs glinting in the low light of the tent as she looked into his mismatched eyes. The hurt from him calling her the one thing she hated was still fresh in her mind, but she refused to stoop to his level even if she wanted to.

He looked at her, his expression softening when he saw how much pain she was in. He hated seeing her hurt and hated even more that she was right, she needed to drink blood if this wound was going to heal properly. That thought caused him to remember exactly what she was and his usual sneer found it’s way back to his face. “Fine, but don’t think for a second that I’m doing this because I like being your snack. You’re a dangerous creature and I hate having anything to do with vampires,” he growled, his jaw clenching as the image of her feeding from him sent his mind racing with less than innocent thoughts.

Corvina sighs exasperatedly and shakes her head, sitting up with a groan and a wince as she clutches her side. She gives Sihtric an expectant look, her tone questioning. “Oh, so you go from despising me for being a vampire to offering yourself up to be my breakfast? How generous of you, Sihtric. You told me last night that you didn’t trust me, so what the hell changed for you between then and now?”

He glared at her, his face flush with embarrassment and anger as she called him out. He knew he was being hypocritical, but he didn’t need Corvina telling him that. His frustration at the whole situation came out first, and he naturally lashed out at her. “Oh just shut up and feed from me already! You should just be acting like a predator, a monster like any other supernatural entity but you just have to talk to damn much.”

There it was again, that derogatory term. Corvina took a breath and stood up from her bed, speaking in a harsh voice that belayed her hurt. “Fuck you, Sihtric Kjartansson.” She slowly made her way to the entrance of her tent, determined to flag down one of her own people if it meant getting away from the most infuriating and oblivious asshole in all of Northumbria.

“Don’t you dare leave! You are injured and need to rest,” Sihtric shouted as he jumped to his feet, running up and grabbing Corvina’s arm by surprise, pulling her back towards him. His grip was firm, intended to keep her close to him and not to harm her. Not that he could anyway, seeing as how she had an impressive threshold for pain. His breath was hot on her ear as he whispered menacingly, the thought of her soft lips on another person causing jealousy to rear its ugly head within him. “If you think you can just go out there and find someone else to feed from…think again.”

Corvina growled back, turning and shoving Sihtric off her. Even injured, she was still stronger than a human and he stumbled backwards with the force she used against him. “Do not presume to touch me or give me any commands. I have put up with your unjust treatment of me for long enough. Your stubbornness and pride has cost you a friend this day. Enjoy your victory, Sihtric, and be gone from my tent when I return,” she snarled at him for the first time in their long friendship, letting the startled man see her righteous fury painted across her face. She knew she looked every inch of the ancient vampire she was, her fangs elongated and eyes glowing the brightest red Sihtric had ever seen. She closed her eyes and shook her head, muttering something under her breath about stubborn men and how they are the same in every age and land. She then turned on her heel and left her tent, leaving Sihtric behind with his scattered thoughts. He stood there staring as the flap of the tent blew in the soft early morning breeze and the sounds of people returning to camp filled his ears.

After the initial shock of seeing her lash out at him in that manner wore off, all Sihtric could think about was how his breeches suddenly felt a lot tighter and he hated everything about it. He groaned and ran a hand down his face, feeling both frustrated and aroused at the way everything went down. Frustrated at his own stubbornness and prejudice against vampires despite her best efforts to prove otherwise, and aroused at getting to see her in all her glory and have it directed at him. Despite himself, he thought she looked beyond magnificent and he finally understood what it was that had made her the vampire queen in that moment. After a few moments, he left her tent and walked out into the busy camp as the high from their win filled the air. He couldn’t help but envy the lucky person who she would feed on, wanting nothing more than to be in their shoes before the shame of thinking such thoughts came back to the forefront of his mind. As he made his way through the war camp and back to Uhtred’s side, his first thought was how he hoped he hadn’t pushed her completely away. His second? He wondered if he groveled enough at her feet if she would take pity on him and let him fall into her bed rather than someone else after the celebrations tonight.

Gods help him not muck this up, because he wasn’t sure he could handle another night of just him and his hand.

Taglist: for the Sihtric girlies @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @mrsarnasdelicious @bouncehousedemons @gemini-mama @whitedarkmoonflower @synindoodles

[godtierwallflower]

The Blue Knight was basically a fever dream of Aoyama. He had nightmares about some terrible fate befalling Ichigo, he daydreamed about being able to be there for her, and from that simple indirect wish, a consciousness was created with a single goal from its first breath, practically an algorithm: protect Ichigo.

He was still a unique personality that wasn’t an exact copy of Aoyama’s (more short-winded and reserved), although some feelings of his bled through in its creation.

Namely, his affections for Ichigo.

And... Aoyama was more-or-less the same thing for Deep Blue.

Despite being a god-like being that can reshape planets in a day, he needs a physical body to meaningfully interact with the world. He custom-built a host body, something that’s at least partly composed of pure Mew Aqua. And the body needed an artificial personality to “babysit” it until it was finally big and strong enough to host Deep Blue’s soul when he awakened.

An artificial personality born of a fever dream with a single purpose for existence: survive and grow enough for Deep Blue to awaken.

Hence the fact that, even as a child, he sees his life in the very un-childlike view as “something to survive, at any cost”.

And why Aoyama himself was blase about the idea of disappearing along with all of humanity.

“Something to survive, until I’m finally allowed to die like I and all humanity deserve to.”

He was an algorithm created by the dormant Deep Blue, and part of that seeps out in his own personality, too. That’s what it means for a god to create in his own image.

When Deep Blue says that Aoyama “never existed”, he’s not kidding. Aoyama was never supposed to exist, and at most, he should have logically just been a fragile daydream that falls apart as easily as the Blue Knight persona did, a quiet, unremarked upon death of a personality.

If he and Ichigo had never fallen in love, Aoyama would have had no qualms about giving up his whole existence and stepping aside for Deep Blue to take over the body.

But he did fall in love with Ichigo. He wasn’t supposed to be able to, but he did.

And what was essentially meant to be a very simple AI autopilot program, suddenly began thinking about things beyond simple survival.

Both thinking about wanting to protect Ichigo, and thinking about what sort of life Aoyama would want for himself, too.

Things he’d never even considered before, because he was supposed to just think of his life as something that should disappear with everyone else.

He thought that it’d be fun to travel and study for preservation. He thought that it’d be nice to actually be part of an affectionate family.

He thought that it was okay to stop trying to survive at all and stop standing out of the way for Deep Blue. That was when he decided it was okay if he died, even if it interfered with Deep Blue’s survival.

And then, he thought that it was okay to live for himself, to follow his dream, to fight for a better future where he and Ichigo both still get to exist and help the species of this planet.

Aoyama never existed.

Aoyama was never meant to exist.

His existence was tentative and artificial and meant to be temporary, but he personally hi-jacked the body from the living god that made it to begin with.

And then, he taught that living god the same things that Aoyama himself had learned.

[carmenized-onions]

hi. tried to reblog and leave a bunch of tags but made a mistake and tumblr wouldn't let me edit the post SO i took a screenshot because I WILL NOT REWRITE ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT WAS ALREADY TERRIBLE TO TRY AND GO BACK TO MY NOTES TO INCLUDE THEM INTO THE TAGS BECAUSE THE APP WOULD ERASE EVERYTHING so here you have a long ass pic with a ton of tags. love u u fucking mastermind 💋

I DID IN FACT GET THIS ASK FIRST OF ALL, IF YOU SENT ANOTHER ONE OTHER THAN THE DID YOU GET THAT ONE, then I am missing one, but I got this one!

I'm so glad you think it could standalone and make sense because I went into posting this like "so many people are not gonna be able to keep up with the tense changing and the time skipping, i'm being incoherent" thank you all for proving me wrong. My writing profs taught me to believe everyone does not have reading comprehension. Perhaps we should be giving more credit to readers, me thinks.

Man, I wish Carmen in The Bear canon aligned with CK not particularly because I wish he was better but because watching S3 I was like oh,,,, did I get all that wrong? Because to me, yeah does Carmen run away from things? 1 fucking million percent. At the same time, however, Carmen is an artist and I think like,,,, he's taught, yknow? He takes direction and critique, is always how I took him-- And so like, he just compartmentalizes criticism of his character the same way he would his craft; and he fucking likes making shit better, so he transfers it to life.

I considered massively pivoting from this choice for him to accept that he needs to be better, and instead like, Bojacks it, basically, but like, I'd already done this in CK canon:

Did I emulate my own previous scene to call back to the beginning of their relationship in chapter 13? Yeah 100% I did but back on topic--

I'd already decided that this was how Carmen went about things, and to be fair, I think honestly if everyone had just let each other finish sentences in S3EP01, that entire season I think would've gone an entirely different route, but c'est la vie, that's the tragic comedy of it all.

NOW ONTO MIKEY! I think some have said they prefer this Jimmy negotiation to canon-- And to be fair, though the sobriety aspect may not have been a part of it, Mikey did say he wanted to franchise with Carmen, and that's what the money was for. Or at least that's what Carmen affirms:

god fucking jesus christ he was so much more charming in S2 what the FUCK moving ON

But anyways, I think the 10k/week thing honestly is something Uncle would do, and I guess this is me staking my bet on it. I'd like to believe Mikey was climbing his way out-- Or maybe that's more tragic? I dunno. Regardless, I adore him, so, yknow. he's the guy!

50 PLUS YEARS FOR CARMEN? YOU THINK THIS GUY COULD LIVE TO 80? BABY LOOK UP POPCORN LUNG THIS MAN WAS GETTING ULCERS AT 21 WE'RE LUCKY IF WE GET TO 60

regardless, thank you for enjoying i'm so glad that my interpretation of Mikey was enjoyed. I tried to be as like,,, accurate as possible to what I feel he'd act like out of the small scenes we've seen of him, but I also absolutely had to pull from my own oldest brother. so. i don't have issues idk what all of you are talking about.

also, I will put this in a master post of like, bits I was doing, later, because there's a fucking lot, but this is the last post I'm making before bed and I wanna get yelled at about this in my inbox in the morning nothing makes me happier:

Chapter 1! Tony Terry Tommy!

Chapter 13! Two Steps Back.

I know I'm a bitch, aren't I? I'm sure rereaders noticed this but I wanted the whole class to know.

While I'm at it, Chapter 12! Hit em with it!

YEAH BABY SHE'D BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT THE WHOOOOLLLEEE TIMMEEEEE YEEEEAAAHHHHHHHH I'm fucked up for this one. I had the Cold thing planned since chapter 1 I'm so SICK with it. Yell at me in my inbox I do love to make everyone mad ngl call me Carmen cause I'm a fucking shit starter baby

thank you for your thoughts and thank you for giving me a place to yap for WAY too fucking long GOOD NIGHT OR GOOD MORNING PENDING WHERE YOU ARE!!

[voasprofile]

mean girls in twisted wonderland and yuu who's somewhat a mix of the og mean girls

I say somewhat cause yuu wasn't really given that much personality

yuu is kind of a theater kid but again wasn't given much personality so it doesn't really show all that much

also reader is gn but does 'feminine' things like apply lipgloss and all that shit

pt.2 here

"what do you mean 'what's mean girls?'" I asked the first years looking offended

"what do you mean 'what do you mean what's mean girls?'?" ace countered "it's exactly means what I said" this back talking mf

"you guys have not lived yet" I looked them up and down "and it shows"

"what's that supposed to mean?" epel asked

"it means-" I mean I was going to explain but some pomefiore background character decided they wanted more screen time

"hey! first year the dormleader's looking for you" he yelled at epel almost as loud as sebek. I applaud him clap clap

"oh my god that vest is SO cute where'd you get it?" I leaned in on the table

"oh- um it was my dad during his time here" he answered

"vintage! so adorbs" I smiled at him "thanks" he smiled walking away

"that was the ugliest effin vest I've ever seen" I whispered at them

epel laughed so did ace deuce looked mortified jack... well he was a wee bit disappointed and sebek wasn't even paying attention

"hhhhhhhhh what?" epel whispered at me after getting ahold of himself. he wanted sum of that tea

I leaned in further so they could hear me whispering

"yeah, did you know so many people trust me in this school? not knowing I stockpile their secrets" I covered my mouth looking around for any signs of anyone listening, once I knew I was clear

"yeah, you guys know that one guy from heartslabyul? the one with almost white hair? yeah he has a girlfriend that he's cheating on with a guy from scarabia" I leaned back

"really? I knew it, he portrays himself way to innocently for it to be true" ace said

another background character came to the table but this time I was the one they're looking for

"hey uh yuu, can you forget about the thing I said earlier this week? I changed my mind on it" he asked scratching the back of his neck

"oh no no don't you worry, it will just be our little secret" I smiled up at him

"thank you so much, I owe you one!" he said leaving

they looked at me

"I wasn't lying about people trusting me y'know?" I said laughing

"but like seriously? you guys don't have mean girls, ugh your guy's life suck" I said re applying my lip gloss

"but anyways I like have it downloaded on my phone, if you guys know anyone who knows how to transfer files from an other worldly phone to a laptop, give them a call" a favour for a favour

actually me showing them the absolute treasure mean girls, they should owe me

apparently epel knew a guy who knew a guy who knew ortho who's idia, the ignyhides dorm leader 

it didn't take much convincing idia we happened to play together a couple of times when I was gaming on the phone I, ME bought NOT CROWLEY

turns out he was really techy

anyways he transferred the movie to MY laptop y'know the one I bought with MY money. he even taught me how to do it

I offered for him and ortho to watch with us, but he refused saying 'there'd be too much people'

I didn't force him but ortho wanted to come so me and ortho went to sam's to buy a couple of snacks for the movie 

then back to ramshackle we go

we waited

first to come was jack and sebek holding a couple bottles of pop

then epel with a few apple desserts

then adeuce combo with a few pasties and ace with more chips

before any of that I mad all of them wear sheet masks not excluding ortho ofc I just squeezed it a bit more to not damage anything on his face

so begins the movie

"he reminds me of the creep flirtin with everyone in the cafe" epel pointed out Jason almost throwing a handful of chips at the laptop

"real, poor gretchen imagine someone you like flirting with someone else in front of you" jack said chewing on some pie

"how disgraceful" sebek murmured sipping on his cup

"shhh" ace said

I smiled. I'm in the process of making some mean girls out of them

at the end of the movie everyone was satisfied

"ugh if I were the bus driver I would've ran them over" ace said

three fourths to the movie everyone forgot about the food so now were finishing them off

"would it be ok for me to download this to send to nii san? ortho asked. somebody bless this child

"of course, wanna send him another movie?" I asked

"there's another movie?" sebek asked

"well yeah but it's not a franchise, some people say this was the film to inspire mean girls" I said to them "wanna watch it?"

everyone agreed it was too early to turn in anyways

heathers ah my love

"which one do you guys wanna watch the movie or the musical?"

we ended up watching both

it was funny when we were watching dead girl walking and suddenly all the comments stopped then resumed after the song

I covered ortho's eyes and ears dw

next day we were having lunch again

I was looking at the back of a candy bar with a confused look "it's all in like swedish or something"

epel caught on "yeah y'know there's some weird ingredient in there that's not legal here"

"hmm ephedrine?" I said already chewing "no" he said

"phentermine" I approved "no" he denied

I looked at him confused

"it burns carbs, it just burns up all your carbs" he said"

"hm I really wanna lose three pounds" I said looking at them raising my eyebrows

there was a pause

"oh my god what are you talking about" sebek said

"you're so skinny" deuce added

"shut up" I told them

every body else close enough to hear's pov

drama? first year drama?

lol

soon jack epel and I left the table to mingle with others. jack in savanaclaw with his upperclassmen, same with epel and pomefiore, and I went to diasomnia

and then my phone rings

"you're on speaker" ace whispers

"epel, jack thinks you're mad at him because he got nominated prettiest in the freshman yearbook" deuce said

"oh my god I'm not mad at him, I'm worried about him. I think someone is pulling a joke on him, I mean if no one votes for him, he's gonna have a total meltdown. and who's gonna have to comfort him? me."

"so you don't think he'll get in?" ace asked

"deuce ace, he's not pretty. I know that sounds bad but whatever, the prettiest freshman is always y'know pretty. the crazy thing is it should be yuu, but everyone forgets them because they're such a slut, anyway I got to go, I'm going to class" epel 'hung up'

"well he's not mad at you" ortho told jack

"hold on" he told all of them "are you okay" deuce asked "shh" he switched the line to call me

my phone 'rings' again, and then I put it on speaker

"hello?" "if someone said something bad to you, you'd want me to tell you right?" jack asked

"mmm no" I said "what if it was someone you thought was your friend?" he pressed on

I got annoyed "what are you-? hold on other line" I said taking the call

"hello?" "let's go out" sebek said "hold on I'm on the other line with jack" I said "don't invite him, he's driving me nuts" "okay hold on" "good hurry up" I went back to jack

"it's sebek, he wanted to hang out and told me not to invite you" "do not hang out with him" jack said "why?" I said annoyed "oh you wouldn't want me to tell you" "ugh you can tell me, hold on" I switched over "oh my god he is so annoying" "who is?" I widened my eyes "who's this?" I asked "jack" he responded "right, hold on" I switched

"oh my god he is so annoying" I told sebek "I know just get rid of him" I switched

"okay what is it?" I asked jack "sebek said everybody forgets about you because you're such a slut" he said "he said that?" I asked offended "you didn't hear it from me" I switched lines

"I can't go out ehe ehe I'm sick" I told sebek "boo you whore" he said hanging up

I wore an offended expression and left the cafeteria. actually everyone in the call left the cafe

the one's who heard couldn't help but feel surprised, the first years? fighting? 

rumors quickly spread

[twoidiotwriters1]

The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: I'm tired of getting sick every month before getting my period why does God hate women -Danny Words: 2,621 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter Listen to: 'Smoke And Mirrors' -by Imagine Dragons

LIII: Ask Me Again When I'm Mentally Stable

Letting Percy and Leo go together on a mission without her supervision gives her so much anxiety. Her boyfriend and her brother get along, Percy hasn't said much, but he's probably going to support Leo's idea because he's insane like that. Loyalty is his fatal flaw and everything... 

Ara can't relate, she does what she can to help her friends, yes, but at the same time, when the strain of holding onto someone isn't worth it, she relaxes her grip. Leo used to be like that: escaping foster homes, keeping everyone at arm's length—it was only when Ara showed up that he started to have trouble letting go.

"Stop," Jason captures her hand and pulls it away from her forehead. "You'll end up drawing blood."

"I'm anxious and there's nothing to fix..." She glances at the smoke rising from his injury. "Unless I count you as one of my broken toys. Juno said the wound affects your spirit—if you let me try my empath touch..."

"I have to heal myself."

"And you decide to take it as some test?" Ara raises a brow. "Gods, will you ever stop being so Roman?"

Jason smiles. "I think that's literally the problem."

"Ah, so this is another identity crisis?" Ara crosses her arms. "You go through those way too often."

"You and Leo are insufferable," Jason rolls his eyes. "You push people's buttons so we focus on being angry at you instead of your problems."

"Listen, ever since Rome was founded you guys have desperately tried to be like us, so in my opinion, you're the most Roman fella that's ever lived in the last century, I don't see what the fuss is about."

"You're the youngest child of Olympus that's ever existed, the youngest General, and that makes you twice as scary. I know it's easier said than done, but you should follow Eros's advice and—"

"You're currently dying and you're trying to tell me how to live?"

Jason doesn't yield. "You taught me that no one but me gets to decide who I am—you declared yourself daughter of Olympus, so why are you acting like Leo won't make it? Now it's not the time to question willpower."

Ara and Jason hold a staring competition, but Jason's got that stupid wolfish glare, so she can't outdo him. She turns and faces the skyline before her.

"When it was just my life I was handling, it was easy to say that stuff. But I found out stubbornness has messed up multiple lifetimes... Leo's life is on the line, I can't lie just to make myself feel better."

"Who says it's a lie?"

"I can't hold the curse to my way of perceiving the world," she says irritatedly. "Leo's idea is very romantic, but he's not considering the effort it'll take to defeat Gaea, he's underestimating the situation."

"Leo is smarter than that," Jason reasons. "And you know that."

Ara groans. "Wits are nothing if you have nowhere to put them. He doesn't have a solid plan, and the curse is clear: He can't save himself."

"Yeah, and he's not trying to," Jason replies. "He's going to save Calypso and you instead."

Ara hears a thump followed by muffled screams at the other end of the trireme. "Stay here."

"Did you tell Leo about our fighting style?" Percy asks while Frank and Leo take Nike downstairs.

"What?"

"When we were about to fight he said 'I distract, you attack'."

Ara starts going downstairs to look at the goddess. "It doesn't surprise me. Leo's always been more comfortable being a distraction."

Percy follows her. "You two are more similar than I thought. Or he's really similar to who you used to be—"

"Yeah, yeah, I've changed," Ara says grumpily. "Save it."

"No—wait," Percy catches her wrist and stops her. "You have changed, and I thought it was something bad, but not anymore."

"What is your point, Percy?" She presses.

"You grew up," he continues. "And it sucks that I couldn't be there to help you, but it had to be this way. After Bianca, I didn't want you out of sight," his hand remains around her wrist, and Ara can feel his angst. "When Beckendorf died, I thought you hated me, and then Mike died and I... I thought you wanted to get away from me. I got scared and confused, but while I was in Tartarus—"

"You don't have to talk about it—"

"While I was in Tartarus," he insists. "We ran into a herd of arai. The more we slayed, the more curses fell upon me and Annabeth, it was probably one of the scariest moments of my life, but what they say about you in camp, they don't know what they're talking about. You're powerful and resourceful, and they're afraid of that. I was too, but that doesn't make you bad. I'm sorry."

Ara pouts and pulls Percy into a tight hug. "Thank you."

"I want you to be safe," he says, voice muffled by the hug. "I know it's absurd, but you're my little sister. If something bad ever happened to you..."

"I'm sorry too. I knew you loved me, but there was a second voice telling me I didn't matter and I was jealous of how things were just given to you, even if I knew they came at a high price..."

"We used to tell each other everything," he looks down at her. "What happened?"

Ara ponders his question. "You can make mistakes, but in front of your family?" Ara swallows the lump in her throat. "It's like twisting a blade in your gut. We stepped out so we wouldn't bleed in front of each other."

Leo's voice comes from downstairs. "Sunshine, come meet our new buddy!"

Percy clears his throat. "You should go... You and Leo should talk to her."

"You gagged a goddess."

"What you're trying to say is 'Oh my gods, thank you so much for bringing Nike so she can help my hot boyfriend!'," Leo says tauntingly.

"Oh my gods, you guys, thank you for disrespecting another goddess!" Ara replies sarcastically. "Can someone explain the gag?"

"She threatened to curse us," Frank shrugs. "Considering three out of the four people present were already dealing with curses, we decided not to risk it."

Ara crouches next to the goddess. "Lady Nike, I'll take off the gag if you promise not to curse us, yes?"

"Wait," Leo stops her. "Before you do that, there's something you should know."

Ara pulls her hand back and scowls. "What is it? Is her spit deadly or something?"

"She said one of us has to die to defeat Gaea, that it's destined to be that way," Frank says tensely. "Leo believes it's him and... at this point, it makes sense."

"She also said there's a way to defeat death," Leo's eyes are shining. "The Physician's Cure. Ever heard of it?"

Nothing comes to mind. Ara shakes her head. "Is she willing to share more on that?"

"Well, she mentioned a few things—poison, a god's heartbeat, and the curse of Delos..."

Ara raises a brow. "That's where Artemis and Apollo were born." Leo smirks, pleased with how things are lining up to match his plan. "Don't look so proud, the goddess of victory just said you're a prescribed loser."

"I wear the title as a badge of honor," Leo looks at Nike and nods. "Alright, take the gag off."

"I'll gather the others," Frank tells them. "Let's hold a meeting in an hour? So you can tell us what Nike said."

"Yeah, big guy—thank you," Leo pats his shoulder amicably.

"Stop thanking us, we're planning your death," Frank scolds him.

 Ara waves him off. "Don't waste your breath, he enjoys being a martyr."

"You bet I do! Finally, people give me the prince treatment I deserve!"

"Get out of here before you become a murder witness," Ara warns Frank.

"My eyes are closed, General," Frank turns and leaves the stables.

The girl seizes a corner of the tape over the goddess's mouth. "If you place a curse on us, I'll dismantle your wings and use them to rebuild my bronze dragon. Got it?"

The goddess nods, and so Ara removes the tape. Nike complains dramatically, but she doesn't curse them, mostly because she's too busy staring at Ara with hungry eyes. "Daughter of Olympus," the words are like honey in her mouth. "My Greek champion, I'll grant you answers."

"Thank you," Ara says politely. "Tell me about the Physician's Cure."

Nike responds heatedly. "It's a cheap trick. People who die are losers, they shouldn't get a second chance."

"Understandable," she continues patiently. "But you told them that to defeat Gaea, Leo must die. If he dies, then Leo would've won, right? He'd have a right to a reward."

Nike ponders. "Well..."

"Without Leo's death, there would be no victory," Ara continues with charmspeak. "He deserves to come back. It's a big war—bigger than the one my brother and I fought against Kronos. Wouldn't you like to have another Greek champion?"

"That would be nice..." Nike's eyes glisten with longing. 

"Wouldn't that be the ultimate victory, defeating death?"

"Maybe," the goddess's eye twitches. "Yes."

"We'll get you that milestone," Ara says earnestly.

Nike stares at Leo like she can't wait to carve him into the perfect shape. "You'll be my new champion, Leo Valdez?"

"Absolutely," he smiles confidently. "I was born to win."

The minute her consciousness slips into dreamland, Nico Di Angelo pops into view and grabs her shoulder. "You should see this." Ara gets yanked into his dream, standing in the middle of the rec room. "This is from the latest meeting," Nico glares at the teenagers. "You'll love it."

"...Something's wrong."

Jake Mason clears his throat. "Probably this Roman dirt-wipe who's leading the attack—Octavian what's-his-name. If I was Apollo and my descendant was acting that way, I'd go into hiding out of shame."

"I agree," Will sighs. "I wish I was a better archer... I wouldn't mind shooting my Roman relative off his high horse. Actually, I wish I could use any of my father's gifts to stop this war... Unfortunately, I'm just a healer."

"Your talents are essential," Chiron tells him. "I fear we'll need them soon enough. As for seeing the future... what about the harpy Ella? Has she offered any advice from the Sibylline Books?"

"The poor thing is scared out of her wits," Rachel makes a face. "Harpies hate being imprisoned. Ever since the Romans surrounded us... well, she feels trapped. She knows Octavian means to capture her. It's all Tyson and I can do to keep her from flying away."

"Which would be suicide." Butch, son of Iris, grumbles. "With those Roman eagles in the air, flying isn't safe. I've already lost two pegasi."

"At least Tyson brought some of his Cyclops friends to help out," Rachel offers. "That's a little good news."

"A dozen full-grown Cyclopes? That's a lot of good news!" Connor laughs, he's seated next to Lily. "Plus, Lou Ellen and the Hecate kids have been putting up magic barriers, and the whole Hermes cabin has been lining the hills with traps and snares and all kinds of nice surprises for the Romans!"

Jake glares at him. "Most of which you stole from Bunker Nine and the Hephaestus cabin."

"They even stole the landmines from around the Ares cabin," Clarisse complains. "How do you steal live landmines?"

"We commandeered them for the war effort." Connor eats a handful of salt crackers, probably stolen from Jake's secret stash too. "You guys have plenty of toys, you can share! Ara would want you to."

That shuts up Jake and Clarisse. Chiron takes advantage of it. "Grover? What news from the nature spirits?"

"Even on a good day, it's hard to organize nymphs and dryads," Grover looks exhausted. "With Gaia stirring, they're almost as disoriented as the gods. Katie and Miranda from the Demeter cabin are out there right now trying to help, but if the Earth Mother wakes... Well, I can't promise the woods will be safe. Or the hills. Or the strawberry fields. Or—"

"Great." Jake looks at Clovis and shakes him a bit when he starts to close his eyes. "So what do we do?"

"Attack!" Clarisse says, making everyone jump. "The Romans are getting more reinforcements by the day. We know they plan to invade on August first. Why should we let them set the timetable? I can only guess they're waiting to gather more forces. They already outnumber us. We should attack now, before they get any stronger; take the fight to them!"

Lily looks at her brother, asking him to speak as the Athena counselor. "Clarisse, I get your point. But have you studied Roman engineering? Their temporary camp is better defended than Camp Half-Blood. Attack them at their base, and we'd be massacred."

"So we just wait? Let them get all their forces prepared while Gaia gets closer to waking? I have Coach Hedge's pregnant wife under my protection. I am not going to let anything happen to her. I owe Hedge my life. Besides, I've been training the campers more than you have, Malcolm. Their morale is low. Everybody is scared. If we're under siege another nine days—"

"We should stick to Annabeth's plan." Connor tries to control Clarisse's frustration. "We have to hold out until she gets that magic Athena statue back here."

"You mean if that Roman praetor gets the statue back here," Clarisse scoffs. "I don't understand what Annabeth was thinking, collaborating with the enemy. Even if the Roman manages to bring us the statue—which is impossible—we're supposed to trust that will bring peace? The statue arrives and suddenly the Romans lay down their weapons and start dancing around, throwing flowers? Ara once gave me crap for not standing on business, and I won't disappoint her a second time."

"Don't hold onto the stuff she said before becoming a General," Lily speaks at last. "We haven't heard from her in a month—"

"Are you suggesting we listen to you?" Clarisse snaps. "For that to happen, you'd need to speak up, Saggio."

Lily's cheeks flush. "Well, isn't that what I'm doing? I know none of you believe Ara is the camp's curse, but I also know some of you are blinded by your personal history with her—"

"Mostly you..." Jake mumbles.

Lily's voice gets a little drier. "I might've argued with Ara but I'm still second in command. I think it nonsensical to consider what she'd do when she's not here—she won't be here on time to deal with this, so we should be thinking for ourselves. I agree with Clarisse, that statue might not fix things..."

She looks at the older girl, Lily is one of the few people Clarisse treats like a fighter of her range, which sometimes can be funny, considering Lily barely reaches her shoulder.

"But we won't attack. Throwing the first punch is never a good idea, and Romans are A-class bullies who know fear is the best tool for prompt subjugation, don't let them trick you into digging our grave."

Clarisse scrutinizes Lily as if searching for the best area to stab her, but eventually, she gives in. "Birdy and I go a long way back, I do not want to fail her like I failed her sister... If you think this is the way..."

Rachel leans forward. "Annabeth and Ara know what they're doing. We have to try for peace. Unless we can unite the Greeks and Romans, the gods won't be healed. Unless the gods are healed, there's no way we can kill the giants. And unless we kill the giants—"

"Gaia wakes," Connor makes a face. "Game over. Look, Clarisse, Annabeth sent me a message from Tartarus. From fricking Tartarus. Anybody who can do that... hey, I listen to them."

"And let's not forget that in Lily's latest dream, Ara was fighting three immortals at once—and she was winning," Jake raises a brow. "If stalling gives her time to come back and end this, then heck, I'm nothing but stale."

Lily frowns. "That's... not the best analogy, but thank you, Jake." The girl shows him a brief smile that doesn't go unnoticed by Connor, who glares at Jake as he stuffs more salt crackers in his mouth.

Next Chapter –>

Taglist.

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[softquietsteadylove]

Hi! I know it's been a while, I've got this li'l request? If it's okay? So I remember this Odin scene in Eternals where Gil said Odin taught him some drink or whatever bartending skills Odin taught him😂

I was thinking of Odin and his fighters/people resting on Gil and Thena's place and Odin offering Gil to live in Asgard as a thanks for helping them in the battle of Tonsberg or whatever that is 'cuz I totally forgot😭. And then one of Odin's knights/fighters saw Thena having an episode and of course Gil was quick to calm Thena down and Odin thinks/saw the threat Thena brought on Gil's life so he reminded him of is offer again, Gil said he would ask Thena about it and that's when Odin said that he couldn't bring Thena with him in Asgard because of the threat she posed (uhh yes, we slander Odin). And Gil immediately asked Odin to leave their place, because Gil would never let anyone disrespect Thena!!!!!!!!

Thena heard the whole thing and when they were having dinner, she asked Gil why didn't he accepted because he always told her about Asgard and actually considered living there.

You decide what happens next, so yeah this is kinda angsty request jsjshs. Thank you so much, not just for this but for everything...

"I have not tasted this since the great battle of Jotunheim."

It would be more apt to call it the battle of Earth, the war between the Frost Giants and Asgardians - with the Eternals to assist - taking place here on the planet.

But the Allfather was visiting for the sake of old times, he said. Supposedly he was doing his due-diligence of checking on one of his many realms of protection by dropping in on Earth.

Thena quite thought they had the planet under control.

Odin had even brought his young ones to inspect the planet tethered to their very own Asgard. Two boys, although the Warrior Eternal had distinct memory of whispers about Odin's 'fiercest child'. Surely the child making snakes out of rope and the boy trailing at her brothers' ankles were not the holder of that title.

She could remember being in Asgard, after the battle. It was beautiful there, the people under Odin's rule were peaceful and happy. Everyone kept addressing her as Valkyrie, which was odd, but she was unfortunately quite used to being called things by mistake at that point in time.

In many ways it happened a whole lifetime ago, and yet was less than a thousand years ago as well. His young ones had yet to become great warriors, as the old god was hoping and pushing for ceaselessly.

"I've tweaked the recipe--just a little," Gilgamesh smiled and laughed with the old god, the two sitting across their humble table like drinking buddies instead of two of the galaxy's fiercest defenders.

"You have altered my recipe?!" Odin thundered, and yet dissolved into laughter in the same breath. The lines in his face bent and accommodated the patch over his eye. "I could have you tried and exiled for such a thing!"

The two laughed with force enough to crack the bifrost.

Too loudly for the Warrior Eternal. Although she did smile as she rose from her seat. Odin observed as she trailed her hand from one of Gilgamesh's shoulders to the other, leaving with his mug to refill it from the larger vessel of brew outside the house.

Gilgamesh watched with soft eyes.

Odin cleared his throat and leaned forward, "and yet in exile I seem to find you."

Usually one to say exactly what he thought and felt at all times, the Strongest Eternal was silent. He took another sip, "you think?"

The old god looked around him, regarding the homemade - very literally hand crafted - house surrounding him, a far cry from the glittering opulence of Asgard's finest. "Is it...?"

Odin knew of Mahd Wy'ry. He had once stated that he could sense for more behind the Warrior Eternal's eyes than even a being of their life expectancy should have.

Gilgamesh looked around the home, candles flickering and casting long shadows around them. "We came here to be alone, together."

The old god made a face he might make at one of his sons. "Is that truly all you have to say, Gilgamesh?"

He shrugged.

Odin set his drink down more firmly, the way a ruler did when demanding attention. He leaned back and tipped his chin up, his white hair catching on the adorned shoulders of gold he wore. "My offer still stands."

After the battle of Jotunheim, Odin had extended the offer to Gilgamesh to come and stay on Asgard. His skill and strength was beyond renown and he had claimed that they would be honoured to welcome a warrior as fine as he.

Gilgamesh had said thanks but no thanks--he was happy on Earth.

Gil looked at the old god now, not even shrugging so much as rolling his shoulders, "my answer's the same."

"Your mission is done," Odin declared needlessly. "If you are truly not to return to Olympia then tell me why you would not agree to joining the echelon of the galaxy's strongest?"

Gil swirled around the suds in the bottom of his cup. "I'd have to ask Thena what-"

"No."

The air sat heavy. Gil inhaled, also setting cup down hard. "No?"

Odin straightened in his chair. "The offer is for you alone, Gilgamesh. The Warrior Eternal-"

"Thena."

The old god paused. "What?"

"She has a name," Gil reiterated, pressing his palms to the table as he pushed his chair back. "You've called her a valiant warrior, you fought alongside her, called her an ally of Asgard. But I've never heard you address her by her name. It's only ever Warrior Eternal."

"That is what she is," Odin snarled in the face of Gilgamesh's argument.

"And who she is," Gilgamesh growled right back at him, "is Thena."

The air began to fold and bend around the two forces of power in the room. Odin leaned on his elbow, fist on the table, "she is not sound, Gilgamesh. I will not bring a danger into my walls."

"But you would sit across from her in our home?"

"She is a liability to you!" Odin stood, forcing his chair back and his mug to roll and shatter on the ground.

Gilgamesh was quiet and steady. "Keep your voice down."

"Are you ordering a god?"

"I'm asking an old friend," Gilgamesh pressed harder on the table, letting the wood moan under his touch. "To not disrespect the woman I love."

Odin's face did not change. He was not happy to be ordered nor asked to do anything, whether by an old ally and friend or an enemy. "She is unstable, and I would hate to see a great warrior such as yourself fall victim to something as fragile as the heart!"

"Maybe yours is fragile," Gilgamesh scoffed, moving the table out of his way as if kicking a pebble out of his path. It toppled over. "It's time for you to go."

"Think about this, Gilgamesh," Odin far from pleaded but perhaps seethed at him. "Do you truly wish to make an enemy of the Nine Realms?"

The Strongest Eternal met the old god eye to eye. "Anyone who has a problem with Thena isn't welcome at my table."

Odin gave his old ally one last look of disdain, letting his disgust in the developments of the night drip off of him like mud. "It is always a shame to see a great warrior succumb."

"Thena has always been a better warrior than me."

Thena turned her head away as Odin took off in a thunderstorm of an exit. She sighed, "you just fixed the roof."

Gil shrugged, also looking up at the sky as the old god and once-ally made quite a dramatic exit. He bumped his shoulder against hers, "I can fix it again."

Thena looked at him, her eyes searching for answers he didn't offer to their guest. "Why didn't you?"

He had no need to clarify what she meant. He shrugged again, leaning over to pick up the table and then reaching for the broom. "It was never an option."

Thena let him put himself between her and the pile of shattered ceramic on the floor. She padded back to her chair in her bare feet. "It could be."

He ignored her.

"Gilgamesh," she attempted, but he swept the ceramic under his foot and then, with a glow of gold, ground it into dust. Then he swept it up to toss out the window properly. "Gilgamesh!"

"I didn't consider it then and I'm certainly not now," he grumbled, pulling the shutters closed against the evening breeze.

Of course he hadn't. Even after Jotunheim, even if they weren't still bound to their mission, he would never have considered it. Gil loved earth too much. There was too much to rebuild, too much healing to do. Their family was here.

Now their family was scattered around the planet.

He tossed the broom back to its place and slumped down in his chair again. He looked at her, "without you?"

Thena tried not to let her lip tremble as she whispered, "you could."

Gilgamesh did not indulge her misery, waving his hand through the air with a light 'peh'. She tilted her head, but he looked at her, shaking his head, eyes brimming with emotion. "How could I ever be without you?"

Thena blinked away tears of her own. Her other half raised her hand off the table in front of them and kissed it so gently it was like a whisper. "Perhaps you would be better off."

"Nah," Gil dismissed much more lightly again. He chuckled, "you think I wanna be anywhere but our little paradise here?"

Gilgamesh, the mighty and brave, champion of Athens and hero of Jotunheim and the strongest Eternal, much preferred his modest and hand built little shack. He had no need for Asgardian palaces or promises of Valhalla.

"I have everything I could ever need right here in front of me."

Thena smiled, almost laughing under her breath. She hadn't spoken a word since Odin's arrival. She leaned her head onto Gil's shoulder, "perhaps you are right."

"I am."

"You are far too soft for Asgardian warfare."

Gilgamesh laughed softly, running his fingers through her hair, "yeah, maybe. You seem to love me just fine, though."

[jujusjunk]

As a muslim what do you think about the lgbtq

There’s a lot of information to unpack this which is why it took my time to answer.

First off, it’s a well known fact that being a part of the lgbtq is haram/forbidden in Islam. A well known story that we’ve been taught since childhood is the story of Lut who is a prophet. Sayidna Lut a.s. was a prophet to a village that practiced being lgbtq and Allah SWT basically flipped the land under them and buried them when they refused to stop. Wether it is man on man or woman on woman or trans or anything like that it is haram. As a woman dressing up as a man is haram and the same goes for a man.

Now at the same time, we are taught that we have to accept the time that we live in. As a Muslim, I’ve stated this before but I respect everyone. As long as that person has no real effect on the way I live my life it is truly none of my business what that person does. Now in I think all Muslim countries, it is punishable for you to be a part of the lgbtq in public and in some countries (I think Saudi and Iran and stuff) it is punishable even in private. I don’t agree with that. Because as Muslims we are supposed to respect everyone but, again, as I’ve stated before, a lot of Muslims do not practice Islam correctly. For example, if my son were to come out to me, as a Muslim I am not allowed to harm him, nor am I allowed to kill him, nor am I allowed to cut him off. A lot of Muslims don’t practice that. If a Muslim family member were to come out as gay or lesbian (or anything else) they are most likely to be targeted. But that’s not the right way.

Now Islam teaches that you are allowed to hold feeling for the same sex but you are not allowed to act on it,

Here’s an answer from a sheikh I love “they should be told that both natural (genetic) and environmental factors contribute to whether a person feels attracted more to their own sex or the opposite sex. Sexual attraction is on a spectrum–most humans are capable of being attracted to their own sex given the right circumstances (note the extremely high rates of reported homosexual activity among prison inmates and monks).” And “So a Muslim child who “comes out” as gay should be told that they will likely be able to enjoy life with the right person of the opposite sex. But if they are completely opposed to that idea, they should be told that their only other option is celibacy. There is nothing wrong with homosexual desires in themselves as long as they do not act on them.”

Now again I don’t completely agree with this because Allah SWT has given us the choice of making mistakes and that people learn from their mistakes and that we are living through a test.

Here’s the answer of the same sheikh to if a child decides to engage. “Now, if one’s child wishes to break Islamic law and engage in homosexual relationships, their treatment is similar to a heterosexual child who engages in sexual activity outside of marriage. According to a fatwa by the Qatari Fatwa Authority, it is permitted to maintain familial contacts with such a person. The recommendation is actually to maintain contact (while advising them to stop what they are doing). According to Dr. Suʿād Ṣāliḥ of Al-Azhar University the treatment of such a person is similar to the treatment of a family member who has become a disbeliever. The Quran says regarding treating parents who are disbelievers:

“We have advised the human being to be good to his parents. But if they urge you to associate with Me something you have no knowledge of, do not obey them. To Me is your return; and I will inform you of what you used to do. (The Quran, verse 29:8)”

“The Quran does not recommend any action against them other than not obeying them. Many other scholars from Al-Azhar University also expressed the opinion that sinful family members should not be shunned but treated with kindness, knowing that God is forgiving and that they may one day change.”

So basically, according to the Quran itself. It is not recommended that these children be disowned or shunned. harassment of them is not a good idea either and may only lead to their feeling oppressed and misunderstood. So if they mention that they think they are gay, they should be told that their only options are either celibacy or finding a person of the opposite sex that they find attractive. After this the issue should be left alone. If the child does not bring it up again, the parents should not bring it up either.

Plus I went through a phase (I think I’m still going through it lmao) where I like women. It’s not something that concerns me tbh because I know that I get to choose whether I act on it or not. And I get to choose whether I tell my parents or not and I get to choose everything🤷🏻‍♀️.

Anyways thank you for the ask and happy pride month.

[notmorbid]

harlem shuffle.

dialogue prompts from harlem shuffle by colson whitehead.

have you been sleeping here?

i came to take care of things. they told me to call you.

you don't have to live the way you're taught to live.

you're born in one place, but what's important is where you decide to go.

everyone has corners and alleys no one else sees. what matters are your major streets and corners.

most straight jobs are lousy.

you've always seen straight through me.

ignoring my advice has always been a good policy.

i want you to be safe.

why should you be ashamed to have lived so long on your own?

i saw your lights were on, so i waited.

i'm most comfortable where nobody's looking. in-between places.

did your mother never tell you to mind your own business?

it's a mistake to believe you can become someone else.

you taking care of yourself?

part of moving up in the real world is realizing how much shit you used to eat.

business is good, so i'm good.

if being a crook were a crime, we'd all be in jail.

you're confident. it's nice to see.

it's been nice, seeing you every night.

it was nice of you to go to bat for me.

you have to have an inside you and an outside you.

you get older and the old jokes get less funny.

everything copacetic?

a city runs on grudges and payback.

i've spent so much time keeping the halves of myself separate.

you've been running a con on yourself.

you're one person one second, another the next.

my luck has always been rotten. any chance i get, i piss it away.

you still like fires?

your eye's all fucked up. you look like shit.

can we put a record on?

it didn't feel like revenge to me.

how are you holding up?

such strange days, don't you think?

i wanted to check in and see how you're doing.

maybe i'm an activist. why not?

how am i gonna get my sandwich in all this mess?

you know how you want something more when you know you ain't gonna get it?

what are you getting me into?

it's in god's hands now.

just because nobody knows, doesn't mean it's not happening.

it's good to put names to faces.

sneaky gets you paid, around here.

i don't want to be reassured. i want to fight.

other people got their business, you got yours.

i'll see you when things get back to normal.

you can never know what's going on with other people, but their private selves are never far away.

what makes you think we read the same papers?

too much silence, you get to thinking about things.

this whole country's founded on taking other people's shit.

what were you like, when you were little?

if we don't help one another, we'll be lost out there.

i didn't mean to get you in trouble.

you know what your problem is? you don't like anybody.

i like plenty of folks. i just don't like people.

you don't have to know what something's called to know how it makes you feel.

remember me. no one else will.

[anony-mouse-writer]

“How are you doing?”

- cost of livings increasing

- everyone i know is miserable at their jobs, spanning at least 4 broad range fields (ie, retail/food service of any kind, engineering, and ‘works at computers in a capacity beyond microsoft word/excel’) largely due to managerial or company based incompetence or greed

- planets on fire and it looks like the ppl who have the power to change that dont want to cuz theyre greedy bitches

- theres like three social media platforms that arent teeny tiny and theyre all shit and actively getting worse in ways that are profoundly effecting and blindingly stupid

- multiple fights in the past half decade trying to convince people that my job is not something a computer should have

- the same people who tell me that my work is very good and i should monetize it (i am thanks) think that computer work is either just a fad that will pass soon or the just something i should accept and do not see how these conflicting messages might be frustrating

- theres a globally televised genocide happening and like half the ppl who are supposed to stop that are funding it

- KOSA and other internet censorship laws continue to get closer to passing

- “woke” is increasingly synonymous with “anyone who has basic human decency” according to several major governmentally active political parties

- casual and “just common sense” transphobia is now at an all time high as terfs are told that outright killing trans kids is frowned upon and they should try bullying instead

- food prices are so high but i have to eat

- increased social pressure to shun anyone who isn’t spending all their energy being loudly upset at the above issues and/or dying due to the above issues

- companies have more rights than we do and the government would save them first in a crisis. this is “normal” and “fine” and giving a fuck about it is also “woke liberal shit”

- our best hope for a new shitty fire hazard apartment building going up is that the rich bitches everyone hates for building their houses in ‘thats gonna fall down dumbass’’ zones decide to fight for their ‘view’

- pandemics still happening. they dont even stock masks at stores consistently anymore

- my landlord still hasnt responded to our request to fix the flickering kitchen light we have been told we are Not Allowed to try fixing ourselves

- kids are increasingly fucked over by a system that was already failing and is now failing worse due to covid-related fuck ups

- school districts are pushing to graduate kids on time despite the Actual Fucking Plague these kids had to live thru

- speaking of, kids are apparently largely not taught basic computer literacy because they can just teach apps instead

- or any kind of internet safety oh my god. i have had to personally teach every child ive met for the past two years under the age of 15 to not to tell strangers online their full government legal names. i was on roblox for 30 seconds and watched two separate children half dox themselves

- its february and i kinda miss the sun

“I’m doin’, thanks! Hope spring comes sooner than later tho haha.”

[kiyoominee]

Vow circa 2021

Den,

I have always loved writing letters for you, because we both know that I am not good in showing it through my actions nor in my unintentional sarcastic rebuttals in our daily conversation. Though you have always loved and appreciated everyone that way, by their authenticity, and you have loved me the same, because that’s how genuine you are.

Remember when I was badly hurt by a situation that involved a heart break? I prayed. Of course, you know, we were friends. I told God the next time I encounter love, I’d have no regrets, that I would pour my all, because the next time I love, it’ll be someone who He would love for me to recognize. That is how you entered the narrative, our narrative. You were someone who I prayed for, and you are still the person who I keep on praying for.

It was ironic for people to see us together, because the first time you heard about me from someone, you told him that I was ugly. It became more entertaining when we realized that I was the girl your siblings hated, for I was too strict in our Drum and Lyre practice. Our relationship was betted by our friends, classmates, teachers, and even us, that this will only last for three months. How funny to think that I am still writing for you even if many years have passed.

Maybe it’s because we had it easy? Maybe because we just let things be? But no.

We didn’t have it easy, and we certainly did not let just thing be. We were young, growing and figuring out our lives. It wasn’t a rollercoaster ride, because we were impulsively playing seesaw, we never knew when to rise and fall, not until we learned to stop, got off and walked. It’s the best thing that ever happened to me, because I was used to walking home alone, but you taught me the importance of walking together. Same pace at the same time, so love, I have told you this in our second anniversary and will tell you again. Thank you for walking me home, when walking with you feels like home.

You know it’s kind of scary to feel this way for someone, to feel how sure I am in seeing a future with you. Though it doesn’t matter anymore because I know that you feel the same way. I know because I remember back then, when you were waking me home, you told me you wanted to court me, and I told you that you should do it in our house, in front of my parents. It was scary and risky, but look where our courage and honesty got us now? I heard Mama tell you that if ever something happens to her and Papa (I hope not), she’d be at ease because I am with you. Your love was so genuine that it wasn’t only limited to me, it was felt by my family as well.

You told me that you’re lucky because you have me, I begged to differ. It’s the other way around, I am blessed that you’re in my life. I used to think that I gave more, that I showed more, and sacrificed more than you did. I realized now that I didn’t, it’s only because you loved me deeply first. You were the one who taught me that you can give one person the different kinds of love in this world. I love you when I am happy. I love you when I am in pain. I love you when I am scared. I love you when I am angry. I love you when all else fails. And I love you because you taught me that I am not hateful, with that I learned to love myself.

No pretty promises, Den. I’ll be there to love and embrace you regardless of the situation that we face. We’ll figure it out together. Oh, I almost forgot, thank you for understanding that our relationship is better off exclusive to our family and some friends when we decided to sort things out. I always see love as something inclusive, present in every act of goodness, but I wanted ours to be ours alone. If I loved you in the midst of chaos, I love you even more now that we have our peace and quiet.

Today, I am telling you that I am grateful you stayed and when you wake up the next day, I’d still be grateful, for your love, appreciation, respect, and most importantly your patience. Even if there comes a day when you realize that I am not worthy of it all, I’d still be grateful. You have loved me enough for it to last a lifetime.