#i was supposed to work by myself doing maintenance and was not expecting anyone else so

[starlightartemis]

Messed up at work and feeling really bad about it woooo

[hsdiaries]

‘til forever

chapter two - 3.9k

master list

Living on the westside of LA in sunny California was never exactly on my checklist of things I needed to accomplish in life, but opening up a car repair shop was - and this for some reason became the easiest place to do it. Truthfully I owed it all to Mason, the man I ran my apprenticeship under. He took a special liking to me during my time, and when he passed, with no kids of his own, he left his shop to me. My best friend moved out here, helped me run the social media and marketing for the shop, I kept some of the team adding some younger guys for more heavy lifting jobs. We did minor maintenance to the place, spruced it up to appeal to different kinds of people, and the shop has been doing better ever since.

One thing I didn’t expect to get out of this was friendships, but here I was, walking over to meet up with one of my coworkers turned friends, meeting his group of people and new girl. I quickly turn the corner,  walking into the bar, taking the last couple bites of my croissant, licking the left over chocolate off my fingers. Mitch was thankfully easy to spot, taller than most in the room, longer hair too.

“Harry!” He quickly called out when he spotted me, I chuckled, walking over as we quickly embraced, our hands patting each other's backs.

“Everyone, this is my boss, Harry, he owns the car shop I work at. Harry, this is Niall, Chase, Pauli, and of course Sarah.” 

Mitch flushed a deep shade of red as he introduced the woman he was now dating, and I chuckled, lifting my hand up to greet everyone, “Nice meeting you all, thanks for letting me crash.”

“Mitch told us you were new in town when you opened up the shop, so we weren’t going to say no! Everyone needs friends,” the mousy haired man named Niall said.

“He’s not off, just have my best friend from college here, Marlee, she’s actually joining us later as well.” I smiled, Sarah’s eyes perking up.

“Oh thank god, another girl! I was so scared I’d be in a giant testosterone fest all night,” she said, making us all chuckle.

“Well, Horan was supposed to get Bentley here, yet we have no Bentley,” the dark haired tattooed man who I assumed was Chase spoke, hitting Niall hard on his back.

“Listen, I can’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. I don’t want to pressure her into making decisions she’s not ready to make,” Niall said, sipping his beer, a Guinness.

“Including finally giving you a chance,” Pauli quipped, making Niall fake a laugh, flipping them off. I couldn’t help myself and chuckle.

“Who’s Bentley?” I asked, holding my hand up for the bartender, quickly ordering myself a beer.

“She’s our late friend Louis’….ex? I guess that’s what we would call her now. Niall’s got a thing for her since they trauma bonded, but she won’t give him the green light,” Mitch rolled his eyes and Niall scoffed.

“I’ve never asked her to give me any green light. I’m fine just being her friend, that’s all I want,” his tone clearly bothered by everyone’s antics, and I couldn’t help but feel for the guy.

“Seems like you’ve been there for her after his passing, from what Mitch said, I now remember him mentioning the situation, I know she hasn’t let anyone else in, so ignore them. Especially this one, he fucks up a car for me at least once a week,” I teased Mitch; Pauli, Chase and Sarah laughing as I paid for my beer, taking a long sip with a smile on my face.

Niall raised both his eyebrows at Mitch, who quickly shot me a glare. The overall pointing of fingers was quickly broken when the door to the bar burst open, a short brunette tripping over herself, quickly straightening out and looking over in our direction. I broke into a big smile as I saw my pixie like best friend, her smile soon reflecting mine. Her cat-like hazel eyes seemed to glimmer, as she waved at me, her cheeks red with slight embarrassment.

“And that’s Marlee, my best friend,” I said, holding my beer glass out in her direction as she made her way over. She reached me and quickly buried herself in my embrace, my lips pressing a kiss to the top of her head softly.

“Hi guys, sorry for the grand entrance. You will learn I have two left feet,” she shrugged, taking my beer and sipping from it. Everyone laughed, introducing each other to her. It was nice to mix our friendship with Mitch’s friends. I was used to a big group of friends back home, so this just felt right.

“So you two met in college?” Sarah said, bringing me another beer as the boys moved to the side to have a conversation, eyes flicking to us constantly as they did.

“Yeah, we were in American Literature together. He sat next to me, he sucked at annotating his readings, I was amazing at it. One day, he leaned over and asked me to help him. I asked to be paid in pizza rolls and he added root beer on top of it and I was sold!” Marlee quickly explained, smiling up at me and I laughed.

“She always leaves out how I helped her with math, but college calculus is a touchy subject, we shall avoid,” I said, pretending to whisper at Sarah as Mitch called me over to the rest of the guys.

Walking past the girls, I messed with Marlee’s hair, reaching the guys, left hand deep in my pocket as I took a sip of my beer. Chase clearly looked like he might foam at the mouth if he didn’t speak soon, my eyes narrowing at him.

“So that’s just your best friend? Not your best friend you secretly have feelings for but too scared to admit?” Chase said quickly, head tilting forward, eyebrow raised.

“No, that’s my best friend and just that, my best friend.” I peeked over at Marlee, then back at the guys. I wasn’t lying, that’s all she was to me. There was only one moment in time when I thought there might be more, but that was quickly squashed by how wrong it felt when I tried to kiss her. She was like my sister, it couldn’t be anything more past that for me.

“So, she’s free game then?” He raised an eyebrow making me snort out a laugh. This was something definitely I was accustomed to, my best friend was beautiful with a personality to match. The amount of time I was approached for permission to attempt to woo her was anyone I had lost count of.

“Good luck, Marlee ain’t easy, and she’s picky as hell, mate. You can give it a try though, but…” I moved my lips from side to side, leaning in closer to him, “you hurt her, I don’t mess around either.”

Chase chuckled, tossing his hands up in the air, “I’m just here for a good time, friend. I set my boundaries clear and right from the very start. Now if you’ll excuse me, Marlee looks like she needs a refill.” 

He winked obnoxiously at us, my eyes trailing his path to my best friend, my head shaking as I locked eyes with Niall who rolled his, “Ignore Chase, he thinks with his dick, so naturally, he acts like one.”

We both laughed, Mitch choking on his beer as he did as well, “Righto!” He managed out as he cleared his throat, “Even tried to put moves on Bentley, Niall shut that down so quick.”

“He was taking advantage of her vulnerability, trying to get a pity fuck so he could say he did. Louis had just gone, it was fucking wrong!” Niall exclaimed, Mitch sending him a look, teasing the real reason why Niall put a stop to it. I felt for him. You could tell he truly cared for this Bentley character, everyone trying to make it a negative thing.

“Girls that have mates like us are lucky, don’t let these dick heads try and shake how you treat her. She will always appreciate it more than she vocalizes,” I smiled at him, a small nod from him in exchange, Mitch and Pauli looking at each other, then down, embarrassed that they were teasing Niall.

“So you and Harry have been friends for a bit now then?” Sarah asked as I drank more beer. Personally I hated beer and its taste, but the new environment meant I wasn’t ready to dip my toes into hard liquor around them. It was better for all those involved.

“Yeah, I feel like I’ve known him my whole life really. It was just an instant click. Now he can’t get rid of me,” I giggled, shrugging my shoulders as she nodded. Her green eyes and their curiosity let me know exactly what question was next, bracing myself for it.

“Nothing more there?” She leaned in, her eyes hopeful, as if it would add excitement to the situation. I licked my lips, biting down on my lower lip, shaking my head.

“Yeah no. We are just best friends and it ends there. He’s like a brother,” I said, the last sentence feeling like bile in my throat. Truth was, I loved him so much more than just as friends. It would never happen though, it would never be reciprocated; the imagine of him laughing as he leaned in to kiss me forever engraved on the back of my mind. I remember my heart racing, thinking this was finally the moment he would see me as more than just his friend. The moment he realized he felt for me how I felt for him.

It wasn’t. 

Instead, he laughed about how he wasn’t sure what he was thinking, apologizing, head shaking in disbelief. I never in my life readjusted my feelings so quickly, shoving him back and calling him a weirdo for even trying in the first place. The entire time, my heart breaking, eyes fighting the tears that wanted so badly to fall.

“Sometimes that’s for the best you know? I think we all need a best guy friend, but it’s hard when they always seem to want something more. I mean, even us girls cross that line too.” She said, sipping on her beer, so unaware of my feelings.

“What about you? How long have you known the guys?” I said, wanting to direct the conversation away from me and Harry.

“Oh, it’s my first time meeting everyone too. I just started dating Mitch a month ago, thought it was time to meet the friends,” she shrugged. I nodded, licking beer off my lips.

“Well then I’m glad we’ve been thrown into this together, men are strange, women superior always,” I raised both eyebrows at her and she lifted her glass to cheers with mine. I met hers, sipping on my beer as one of the boys approached us.

“It’s Marlee right?” He said, squeezing between Sarah and I, arm resting on the bar as he smiled up at me. I shot him a look of confusion, “Yes and you are? Sorry I’m not good with names.”

“I’m Chase, thought I would personally introduce myself. Just let you know I’m super excited to add you and Harry to the group. Maybe we, you and I, can even grab a bite sometimes,” he pinched his lower lip, my eyes flashing over at Sarah’s quickly. She shrugged, my eyes moving back to Chase.

“Mmm, we’ll see. Have to decide where you rank amongst the other guys. Let’s run the trial for about two weeks and then I’ll give you a rundown on where you land,” I smirked, winking at Sarah before pushing off the bar and walking towards Harry. From the immediate laughter coming from the guys I could only imagine what his face looked like behind me.

Slipping my hand around Harry’s waist, he pulled me in for a hug, shaking his head, “Couldn’t you at least give him five minutes of your time?”

“I didn’t completely let him down, I just let him know that I needed to test out the Irish one as well, Pauli too,” I said so only he could hear, his vanilla scent strong on his hair near my face.

“Marlee, Marlee, this is why we never make new friends,” he chuckled and I shrugged.

“I never needed anyone else so, eh,” brushing it off, because it was true, all I needed was Harry, that was enough. He wrapped me up in a tight embrace, kissing the top of my head like he often did.

Soon Sarah and Chase joined us again, everyone pushing past Chase’s lame attempt to ask me out. We shared embarrassing moments, how everyone met each other, Sarah and I planned to grab lunch later next week. As much as I hated the idea of sharing Harry’s time with other people, it did feel nice to make new friends. We all moved over to the pool tables, taking turns ordering rounds of beer and playing pool against one another.

Niall began asking Harry and Mitch about the shop, hoping to bring his car in for an oil change and to get his brake pads fixed. As always Harry began playing down how good he was at fixing cars and truly how successful his shop was. He was so humble, it was his best trait, and that’s why he had me, so I could sing his praises.

“Did you all know the shop is getting the AAA Award for Outstanding Service?” I piped in, Harry’s eye flicking to me, basically yelling at me for bringing it up. I ignored him, rolling my eyes, “Yeah, he’s the best in town too, 100% mark on the award.”

“Harry, you never mentioned that!” Mitch exclaimed, back handing his chest. Harry coughed, rubbing his chest softly as he laughed.

“It just slipped my mind, I don’t…I don’t really pay attention to those things,” he said, running his ring clad fingers through his hair.

Sarah scrolled through her phone, peeking her eyes up, “Harry that’s a really good award to have. You are registered with AAA and their website. That’s why you guys have been so busy, babe!” She exclaimed looking over at Mitch, “The shop is on the site so it directs more customers! Harry, that's so amazing. Oh my gosh we should celebrate!”

“Guys, please we really don’t have to—…”

“…—no we totally should mate! It’ll be further bonding and welcoming you in the group. Maybe it’ll finally get Bentley to come out,” Niall said, something hopeful in his voice. I had no idea who Bentley was, but she felt like the motivating factor in every aspect of his life choices.

“Yeah Harry, let us celebrate to get Bentley out!” I said, shifting my body next to Niall, pulling his lower lip down gently into a pout, “Do it for Niall and Bentley.”

Niall chuckled a bit, but kept his pout making Harry roll his eyes, “Fine, fine, we can plan something. There’s this arcade bar Marlee and I love, we can do something there, play games and shit. They have food too!”

“Perfect!” Sarah clapped her hands, moving to stand next to me, “Marlee and I will handle everything, you boys just show up, and Niall get the infamous Bentley to join us! It’ll be fun!”

—

Harry and I walked home, it was late but it was our favorite time to be out and about. The city was quiet and besides avoiding the few cars driving by, we could walk in the middle of the street.

“So everyone was really nice,” I smiled over at him, walking along the middle yellow divider, one foot in front of the other.

“Yeah, good people, normal friend group with their issues and drama. They actually lost their friend Louis about six months ago? That’s where that Bentley girl comes into play. She was dating Louis, and from what I gathered, Niall’s soft on her. Took care of her the most when he passed.”

“Mmm, that’s horrible. Do you know how it happened?” I said as he moved in front of me, walking on the same divider backwards.

“Nope. Just still feels new, you know? Mitch can barely talk about it when he does mention it. So I just avoid it,” he said, reaching out for my hands to help keep us balanced.

“I can’t even imagine losing you…I don’t know what I would do,” I said softly, his hands squeezing mine.

“I ain’t going nowhere, they’ll have to catch me first and I’m too fast,” he wiggled his furrowed brows, making me laugh.

“Yeah?” I said, my head tilting in a challenge, his hands quickly releasing mine.

“Oh come on Marlee, I drank so much beer,” he whined and I shrugged, instantly moving to tackle him, his strong arms quickly stopping me and picking me up over his shoulder, “You literally will never learn. I’m always too quick.”

I burst into laughter hitting his back over and over, “Put me down!” 

“Nope, this is how I’m getting you to your apartment. Learn your lesson,” he said, hitting my leg, my arm reaching up to pull his hair, “Ow! You brat!”

We both laughed, Harry staying true to his word, carrying me over his shoulder until we finally got to my apartment. He placed me down on the ground, helping me smooth out my hair like he often did. I inhaled, shivering slightly, something that he often ignored.

“Thanks for coming with me today, it always makes new situations easier,” he smiled, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“Course. I had a good time, and Sarah and I have lunch plans. Me, plans with a girl. Isn’t that insane?” I said with wide eyes, a soft chuckle from him, a smile from ear to ear.

“That is actually, so now I won’t be forced to go on every single shopping trip you decide to take,” he teased, my eyes narrowing.

“You know you enjoy those trips, I always buy you cinnamon pretzel bites!” I pointed at him, his lips pressing together, in a questioning manner.

“I mean…” his eyebrows raised, laughter leaving him as soon as my face dropped in disappointment, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’ll be incredibly jealous of you and Sarah’s newfound friendship.”

“That’s better,” I said, starting to look for my keys in my purse, “So I finished all the marketing stuff for you, new flyers and all. I’ll drop them off after work tomorrow so you can go through and approve.”

“Sounds good, thanks, Mar, really. The shop got to where it was because of you, so thank you. You marketed the shit out of it,” he stuck his tongue in his cheek.

“I told you we were going to make it happen, but H, you did everything else. You fix the cars, I just let people know the hot guy in town can do the fixing,” I giggled, pulling out my keys.

“And Mitch appreciates it,” Harry joked, my hand moving to shove him back. I turned to my apartment door, unlocking the front door. I pulled it open, holding it open and peeking over at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 

“Yeah, go get ready. I’ll call you when I get home so we can watch New Girl before bed,” he said, reaching over and holding the door open for me.

I looked at him nodding, wondering if he ever thought it was weird how we did this. How we called each other each night, watching New Girl until we fell asleep. It started as me making him watch it from the beginning, to now just rewatching random episodes each night.

“Don’t forget I get to choose the season tonight, I’m feeling three. It feels right,” I said, and he rolled his eyes. 

“Let me guess, episode five, because you can relate to Jess’ need to stick her nose in everyone’s life?” He tilted his head at me.

“Listen if I didn’t stick my nose in your life, you never would have kept the auto shop, so…kiss my ass, Harry. Night!.” I smiled, blowing him a kiss before turning on my heel and heading into my complex.

“Night you troll!” He called out, my hand sticking up and flipping him off, his laugh trailed behind me.

Everything about tonight felt right, which was a relief, because I didn’t know how I would face Mitch at work the next day if it didn’t work out. His friends were funny, friendly and just the right amount of messy to keep things interesting. Walking to my apartment, I couldn’t help but ponder over my encounter before the bar, the girl and the chocolate croissant constantly popping into my head throughout the night. She had a permanent sadness etched into the furrow of her brows, her lips seemed unable to twitch into a convincing smile.

I couldn’t move past how stunned she was at me using “no drama” a phrase I picked up from the Australian exchange students at Uni, never thinking much of it. I wanted to stop by again every morning and every afternoon at that little shop, hoping to see her again. I wanted to find out why her brows furrowed into such sadness, what put that sadness there.

My phone went off, buzzing on my bedside as I settled into bed; without looking I knew it was Marlee, ready for our bedtime ritual. I pulled the cover on my bed quickly slipping in before calling out to my phone.

“Hey Siri, call Marlee on speaker,” I said, grabbing my laptop and opening up, starting to set up the Netflix party so we could watch together.

“I’m more than positive I grew an inch,” Marlee said when she finally answered, my eyebrow raising in confusion.

“Mar, I’m more than positive you’re past your growing age,” I said quickly sending her the link.

“Can you please just accept I’ve grown an inch?” I heard her clear pout through the phone.

“Fine, fine you grew an inch,” I gave in, adjusting in bed the show starting as she pressed play on her end. The show began playing, filling the space, my body relaxing into my bed. I loved this tradition we had, sometimes we watched, sometimes it just played as we talked or fell asleep. I bit my lip as I thought about the croissant girl again, a sigh leaving me, “I had a weird interaction with a girl today. Not weird, just…interesting.”

I chuckled, Marlee readjusting on the other side of the phone, “Oh?” She said softly.

“I needed to eat something, so I went to the cafe under the apartment—…”

“…—wait like..the store?”

“Yeah, I just knew I would be drinking, so, I just went in. I saw this chocolate croissant, went to grab it and this girl reached for it too. Pulled back freaked out, and I told her no drama, you know, and she knew what it meant - but she was weirded out that I knew what it was. I don’t know…I guess I’m just intrigued by how sad she looked. Her eyebrows were permanently skewed,” I said, realizing I was rambling. I took a deep breath, clearing my throat, “I’m wondering if I’ll see her again.”

“Well. I guess you’ll just have to see what happens. You already sound…enamored? I guess,” she said quietly, clearly tired.

“Yeah, have to see. I’m not enamored…I just, I’m just curious - but, let’s just go to sleep now. I’m exhausted after today. Night fairy girl.”

“Mm, night Harry. Love you.”

“Love you always.”

[whereare-myglasses]

⚠️CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SUICIDE AND SEXUAL ASSUALT⚠️

I'm posting this on here because I'm honestly not to sure where else I can talk about it without someone I know irl seeing this.

I recently graduated from a trade program called Job Corps. Basically, you're provided food, clothes, housing, and basic medical care and in return you learn a trade of your choosing. It's made out to be a wonderful opportunity and experience should you choose to do the program. While in some cases it can be, many folks don't have that great experience we're told we'll have.

It's been a few weeks since I graduated amd returned home and I've noticed things that have changed about myself since starting at the program.

1. I can't eat as much as I used to. My center rarely served anything actually edible at meals and when they did, you weren't given quite enough because they needed enough food for everyone to have at least one serving. If they served something at lunch that people barely got, they served it again at dinner to get rid of it. So it wasn't uncommon for us to wait until we're completely done with trade for the day before eating an adequate meal (which we would have to buy ourselves when we visited the nearest Walmart once every 2 weeks. It was a 2 hour round trip and 80% of the center would go. So you had limited space for what you buy). I lost almost 20 pounds in my first 2 months there and I'm STILL not back at the weight I was before starting.

2. I can't trust anyone to do anything they're supposed to. We had COUNTLESS maintenance problems at my center that would go ignored for MONTHS at a time solely because the maintenance crew did not want to do their jobs. In late January of this year, we had a snow and ice storm that had trade canceled for almost 2 weeks. Before and during that time, none of the buildings on my center had ANY heating during the single digit weather. The first couple days, we didn't mind. We spent all day outside playing in the snow anyway. But the temperatures kept dropping both inside and outside and nothing was really being done. We had one or two space heaters per dorm (6 dorms averaging 20-30 people each) that we just had to huddle around during the day. Also in that time, my dorm had an industrial sink that we couldn't use (even though it was required for our daily chores) because a pipe had rusted off completely. We had been putting in maintenance request forms since SEPTEMBER about the leaking sink (keep in mind, this is late January still) and maintenance claimed they didn't even KNOW about it until I personally dragged one of them to look at it while they were working on our heat. At some point, we bypassed the staff request forms altogether and wrote out 2 lists (one staff copy and one student copy) of everything in our dorm that was broken that maintenance needed to fix and made the head of maintenance sign and date both lists so that we all knew they saw what was needed.

3. I no longer feel like I can speak to a person of authority with trust, or at all. There's a HUGE problem with communication across ALL job corps centers in the nation. At my center, we struggled daily to get any information from staff on just about everything. Staff could barely even communicate with each other, but expected us to constantly be on top of things when there we times we didn't even know what we were supposed to be on top of. Rules would change and half the time, you didn't know of a rule change until you or someone you knew got in trouble for breaking said rule. It wasn't uncommon for staff to ask students where a certain staff member was, only for the students to not even realize that staff member was supposed to be in the area. Even without the problem of staff not communicating, there was still the problem of staff not caring. There was a student that started in late November while I was there (I was his fucking mentor) who sexually assaulted about 4 or 5 other male students. There were COUNTLESS written statements (from students) about him bullying others and at least one of his SA victims tried to address it with staff directly, but nothing was done until it was almost too late. Saturday morning in late February, one of his SA victims expressed thoughts of suicide because of what he had gone through. Staff didn't reach out to the student to intervene until Sunday evening when the student tried to take is own life. The next day, staff held an optional meeting with students to express our concerns about the situation and every single time we tried to say something, we were shot down. The meeting ended abruptly when all of the students who attended stormed out and me saying, "All this situation and thus meeting has taught us is that we can't trust staff enough to come forward about anything." I was mentoring again that week and I remember taking some of my new kids in my arms and holding them while they cried because of the situation.

4. I don't really feel like an actual person anymore, just another number. As with all things government, the bottom line always comes first. Staff were overworked and underpaid, buildings were rundown, opportunities to go off center were dwindling down to just going to Walmart once every 2 weeks (my center was around 120ish students and located inside of a national park, it was at least an hour drive to go anywhere), but the center director still did everything possible to fill every single bed to get money that wouldn't even go toward the students. The center director was always saying how she cared about the students but always stonewalled attempts to make things better for us. Job Corps held a national essay contest for its 60th anniversary and I did it cause why not? No harm done if I don't win. Well, I did win. I got first place in my region and was one of the 6 winners across the 100+ centers in the country. I read my essay in an online National office meeting and felt like I was put on a pedestal by my center director. Which I found out I really was being put on a pedestal, as I was the very first person in the 40 something years my center has been open and active to win an award like this. My name and center was put on a flyers for every job corps center to see along with the other 5 winners. And while I am proud of myself for my achievement, I can't help but feel like it wasn't really worth it for me. It just seemed like my win was only to make my center look better.

There's other shit but I'm tired, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Since starting at jobcorps, I'm angrier, I'm sadder, I'm less trusting and more judgemental, and I'm scared to do what they've trained me for and enter the workforce because what if it's just like my experience there?

[scribeforchrist-blog]

The Holy Spirit Will Pour

Verse of the day: +Proverbs 11:25 (ESV) Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered.

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN AFFIRMATION **

I AM POURING

I AM RECEIVING FROM THE HOLY SPIRIT

I AM DENYING MYSELF

I AM ACCEPTING GOD

********************************

Thoughts

=======================

Today the Holy Spirit wants to talk to us about watering others; many times, we find ourselves always encouraging others and never getting that back, or we find ourselves as teachers teaching others and never getting taught or being fed, but the Holy Spirit wants us to know that whoever you water, whoever you feed spiritually you will be taken care of, he won’t let you pour until your empty, he won’t allow you to plant seeds and run out of anointing because the anointing of God is flowing it never stops unless we do something to cause it to stop, the Holy Spirit wants someone to know that he sees you and what you're doing isn’t done in vain.

You will meet people in and through your lives, and you will enjoy their company, and they were placed there for a season. They were placed there to teach you, and when that season is over, he will remove them because they weren’t meant to stay; they were there to water you; if you think back over your conversation or experience with this person and you realize yea, I did learn something or that they did teach you something.

“1 Corinthians 3:8 The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor.”

It tells us here that we might be the ones that water the seed, but that was our purpose, and we will be rewarded; we can’t worry about anything else but our one job, which is pouring into people placing what the Holy Spirit gives us into others, we suppose to place. He will do the rest, and we shall be rewarded as we use the gifts we are given. God will grow those gifts, and as we use them, he will teach us more; we have to learn to give the knowledge to others so we can make room spiritually for more how can God grow a gift we won’t share because we’re too busy sitting on our gifts.

Verse 9 “For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.”

It tells us here we are doing work in God's service; this is our job to pour to teach and preach and show people the things of God, and as we do this, just like a building, it has to have regular maintenance. God will continue to pour and take care of us as we flow through the spirit, see when we pray and we spend time with God; he will pour into us! As we sit under his presence, as we speak in tongues and worship him, our spirit man is communicating with God, and information is traveling back and forth between your spirit man and God. That’s how God teaches us what he wants us to know; that’s how ideas and gifts are poured into us.

Verse 16 “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?”

This confirmed what the Holy Spirit is trying to say to us, God dwells in the midst of us, and when we take the time to communicate with him, that’s how we are poured into. I had to learn that I don’t have to search for someone to pour into me; the Holy Spirit will do it, or he will send someone my way to pour into me; we learn from one another when the Holy Spirit ALLOWS it, but we can’t expect to pour into anyone if we aren’t connecting with God!

This even goes for giving when we give the right way to the right people. God will make sure we aren’t without! “2 Corinthians 9:6 Remember this—a farmer who plants only a few seeds will get a small crop. But the one who plants generously will get a generous crop.”

See, the Bible says here when we plant seeds or we give a little, we will receive a little. Still, when we give generously to the right people, we will receive generously, see we can plant into people God don’t want us to plant into because some people misuse their money. They don’t do what they suppose to do, which is dead soil, but when we give into healthy soil, God will provide; that’s why we must ask God who do you want me to give to? Who do you want me to plant seeds into because when we give, and it is a not meant to be, and we ignore God, he will not give back what was given unto dead soil ?

**Today, if you are dry and empty, pray to God fast and connect with God, and he will give you more, but we must be responsible with what we have spiritually and physically; we can’t plant seeds and knowledge to people that don’t care to listen to the Holy Spirit in you, or that don’t care to do the right thing with what you give them, God is giving us life.

We must speak life into people that are willing to listen because sometimes we are planting seeds; we are just wasting gifts that weren’t supposed to be given to certain people; ask God who to teach to, ask what to say, and he will give you want to say be direct by God, not you directing God. ” For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the power of God.”©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

Prayer

========================

Heavenly Father, help us to pour into the lost, but help us not to do it without your guidance. Lord, we ask you today to pour into us; we ask you to give us what we long for; Father, give us a desire to read our word and to connect with you so that you may pour; lord, we are grateful for what you give us to plant into other we are grateful to be able to teach all nations, father help us grow so that we may be wise with the words you give us, help us to be wise with our finances so that we may bless who you see fit, father God continues to work in us and mold us and prune us in Jesus Name Amen

========================

Reference

========================

+Matthew 10:19-20 But when they hand you over, do not worry about how or what you are to say; for it will be given you in that hour what you are to say. For it is not you who speak, but it is the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.

+Luke 12:12 or the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.”

+1 John 2:27 As for you, the anointing which you received from Him abides in you, and you have no need for anyone to teach you; but as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you abide in Him.

========================

Further reading

=========================

Judges 9:22-10:16

Luke 24:13-53

Psalm 100:1-5

Proverbs 14:11-12

[vaginadentatas69]

A timeline of events so they’ll stop rattling around in my head:

-Around April, my cat pisses in my bed and I’m too exhausted to handle changing the sheets. I shop around for a different bed to sleep in, and find a friend who has a free bed and doesn’t mind sharing with me. We sleep together, and I go about my business the next day as normal. (I will later find out this friend was actively suicidal and had a plan to kill themself that night, something I didn’t know at the time and had I known I would not have had sex with them)

- I keep up the casual sex with my friend because we both enjoy it and find it mutually beneficial. We talk about having had feelings for each other in the past, but agree that we’re comfortable where we’re at

-Around this time I lose my health insurance and start a long bout of being unmedicated

-In June, I go on a date with a coworker to pride

-In July another friend asks me out and I accept, partially out of interest in a triad with their partner. We all three start dating.

-In August, the original friend gets cold feet about my affections going elsewhere, and wants to formalize our FWB into a relationship. We start dating after I affirm that I’m aromantic and generally make a bad boyfriend by traditional standards of relationships (not very affectionate, bad at keeping commitments, forgetfull of peoples existence, ect)

-Over the course of the relationship, I struggle to set boundaries because of my own baggage. Multiple friends bring up their discomfort with the way my partner is overly-touchy in common areas, including groping me at the dinner table during D&D. I bring this up with my partner while we’re alone and their response basically amounts to “people can tell me themselves if they’re upset”. The behavior does not improve.

-I find it emotionally exhausting to field my partner wanting to see me every single weekend while I’m unmedicated and struggling to keep up with daily maintenance chores while working 40hrs a week. Partner will ask if they can come over or if they’ll “be in my way” while I’m going about my day (because they physically block my way to demand affections before I can be released back to what I was originally doing), and will encourage me to neglect my chores to spend time with them.

-Circumstances put a wheelchair user in my home because he has nowhere else to live. It overcrowds the house, and leaves my girlfriend who’s sharing her bed to sleep on the couch. It’s not ideal for anyone because it was never supposed to be a long-term solution, but we make it work out.

-I break up with the friend who asked me out in July but maintain the relationship with our mutual partner. We agree that we work better together as friends.

-In January my coworker had raw sewage infecting their apartment and comes to stay with me for a couple days, severely overloading the house and jamming a whole stick in the operation of keeping the house livably clean. It’s a disaster for everyone.

-The beginning of March my coworker finally moves out, and takes the wheelchair user with them to a new, sewage-free living situation. This is around the same time I finally get medication again, and also decide to break up with my partner. I fumble the breakup by asking for a break instead because the relationship and the prospect of ending it were driving my anxiety haywire, and blurt out words I meant to edit into a more refined message before we talked about it in person, because I communicate better over text than talking.

-My ex has a hard time with the breakup, something I expected, but goes directly to my DMs seeking consolation and alternatives. I correct myself and assert that I meant to break up, not just ask for a break, because I don’t have the emotional capacity to be the kind of partner they want. Ex continues to bargain in my DMs and asks what they did wrong, and I try to explain as kindly as I can that we were just incompatible. Since these messages I have daily chest-pounding anxiety every time I think about them, and every time they message me.

-Ex uses a shared friend space to mourn the loss of our relationship. I hold my tongue because I expected them to need help from friends getting through this, and encourage our mutual friends to still talk to my ex so they don’t lose an entire social circle for the end of one relationship. Ex continues to stick foot in mouth until our mutual friends say something about it being crass entirely independent of my input. Ex interprets their actions as me telling our mutual friends to stop being friends with my ex.

[imekitty]

Prompt: Vlad and Jack get stuck in an elevator together and thanks to security cameras Vlad can't use his powers to leave nor finally kill Jack. Tensions rise thanks to Jack's happy and oblivious attitude causing Vlad to explode at him and spill everything he's bottled up the last 20 years

I can't promise this is good.

-----

Vlad checked his watch as the elevator he was in began its descent. Only three o’clock, still plenty of daylight left for his other errands.

The elevator stopped and opened. Vlad walked out but froze when he caught sight of someone in the lobby, someone huge and tall and wearing an orange jumpsuit.

Shit.

Vlad walked back into the elevator.

“Vladdy! Hey!” yelled Jack behind him.

Vlad pretended not to hear him and pressed the button for the highest floor. Maybe he would just fly out of the building once he lost Jack.

“Hey, hold that for me, V-man!”

Jack was moving quicker in his direction now. Vlad jabbed the “close doors” button and watched the doors glide toward each other.

Jack began running. Vlad watched the doors close, almost, almost—

Jack’s massive gloved hand jammed between the doors. With a grunt, he forcibly pushed one of the doors back, metal scratching against metal. Vlad narrowed his eyes.

The elevator shuddered as Jack stepped inside. Vlad gave him a perfunctory smile.

“That was close,” said Jack. “Almost didn’t make it.”

“How unfortunate that would’ve been,” said Vlad through his teeth.

“Oh, can you press 3 for me, Vladdy?”

Jack beamed at him with that stupid oblivious grin he always wore. Vlad pushed 3 and also 2 for himself. The elevator doors did not close. Vlad pressed the “close doors” button. After another pause, the doors closed with an unpleasant grinding noise.

“So what are you doing here?” Jack held up a packet of papers. “I just need to get some things notarized at the bank here.”

“I’m here for meetings,” said Vlad, trying to sound cheerful.

“Yeah? Mayoral meetings?”

“Oh, I won’t bore you with the details.”

The elevator began moving up.

“Well, Mads and I are both really proud of all the great things you’re doing for our town.”

Jack grinned again. Vlad did not doubt his sincerity.

“So you’re here on your own?” asked Vlad. “Maddie did not join you?”

“No, she asked me to—”

The elevator shook and lurched up a couple feet before jolting to a stop. Vlad felt his balance shift as his legs stumbled. Jack grabbed hold of his arm.

“I got you, V-man. You good?”

Vlad wrenched his arm free and stood tall, straightening his tie. “I’m fine.”

Jack looked around at the walls surrounding them. “The elevator’s stopped.”

“It has indeed,” said Vlad.

Jack pressed a few buttons on the control panel. Nothing responded, no movement. “Definitely stuck.”

“Seems that way.”

“But someone will fix it soon.” Jack nodded. “We’ll be out of here in no time.”

Vlad looked up at the camera in the corner of the room and sighed. Even if Jack weren’t here, he wouldn’t be able to phase out. Not without finding where the security footage was kept and destroying it.

“I’m thankfully not in a rush. I’ve got plenty of time to get this done.” Jack stretched out his arms. “But what about your meetings? Are you gonna be late?”

“Hmm? Oh.” Vlad shook his head. “No, it’ll be fine.”

“I guess the mayor is allowed to be late for whatever he wants, huh?”

Vlad forced a curt half smile.

“But maybe we can call the front desk and ask if they’re getting someone to fix it.” Jack pulled out his phone and tapped the screen before raising the phone to his ear. “Hi there, we are in your elevator and it seems to be stuck. It’s not going anywhere. Do you have someone to fix it? Yeah? All right, well, we’ll just wait here, then.” Jack ended the call. “They’ve called maintenance. They should have us moving in a jiffy.”

“Good to hear,” said Vlad.

“So.” Jack switched his packet of papers from one arm to the other. “What should we do?”

“Do? What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, I said they’d have us moving in a jiffy, but I was exaggerating.”

“Really? Were you now?”

“Yeah! So we’ve got some time to kill. This is a good chance for us to talk!”

“Talk?”

“Yeah!”

Vlad looked from one side of the elevator to the other. “Talk about what?”

“Anything! We don’t really get to talk anymore. I miss our college days, don’t you?”

“Do I?” muttered Vlad.

“Back when we used to goof around, crash frat parties.”

“I think it was you doing most of the goofing around. And we had to crash them because we were never invited.”

“Yeah, and I never understood why. We were so cool!”

“It was probably due to your incessant blathering about ghosts.”

“Ah, yeah.” Jack looked at the ceiling and smiled. “I really miss when we used to stay up late at the university lab. Like when we worked on that proto-portal. Remember that? Weren’t those fun times?”

Vlad shook his head. “No, actually. I don’t miss that at all.”

The two fell quiet for a moment.

“You know.” Jack flicked through the documents in his hands with a thumb. “You never told us what happened exactly.”

“What do you mean?” asked Vlad, weary.

“With the proto-portal. When it zapped you in the face?”

“Oh. That.” Vlad shrugged. “What about it?”

“Well, I mean, what happened with that?”

“It zapped me in the face, like you said. You were there. You saw.”

“Yeah, I know, but what happened after that?” Jack frowned. “Maddie and I never heard from you again. Not until the college reunion a couple years ago.”

“I was a little busy being hospitalized and nearly dying,” said Vlad dully.

“Yeah, we heard,” said Jack. “And we tried to get in touch with you, but we couldn’t find which hospital you were at.”

“I didn’t want anyone to find me.”

“But even us? Even me?”

“Especially you.”

Jack’s frown deepened. “But we were best friends, weren’t we?”

“I might’ve described us that way in the past, yes.”

“What does that mean?”

Vlad pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.

“I was really worried about you, Vlad.”

“Worried?” Vlad scoffed. “Really?”

“Of course I was. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You weren’t worried about making sure you put ecto-purifier and not diet soda in the proto-portal’s filtration system,” said Vlad. “You weren’t worried about making sure I was out of the way before turning it on.”

Jack sucked his teeth. “Yeah, I was a little trigger happy, but I was just excited. Weren’t you?”

“I was not excited about getting blasted in the face with soda-infused ectoplasmic energy that burrowed in my skin and tore it up, no.”

“Was it really that bad?”

Vlad folded his arms. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

Jack nodded. “Okay. Well, maybe we can get coffee sometime or meet somewhere more comfortable—”

“No, I mean I don’t want to talk about this with you. Ever.”

“But why—”

“Because it was your fault!”

Jack shrank away from him.

“You were careless and selfish and destroyed my life,” roared Vlad. “I was in horrific pain and everyone who saw me stared at me like I was some freak. And I almost died. I wanted to die sometimes. Couldn’t even look at myself in a mirror.”

Jack tightened his hold on his documents and looked down at the floor.

“You never think before you do anything. You’re reckless and oafish and that hasn’t changed at all.” Vlad thrust his hand toward the elevator door. “Just look at what you did to the elevator!”

Jack looked at the door. “I didn’t—”

“Yes, you did,” spat Vlad. “You forced the door open and now it’s broken and we’re stuck in here. Because that’s what you do, you destroy and ruin things for other people.”

“But I didn’t want to miss seeing you.” Jack’s voice had a small whine. “I don’t get to see you enough, Vladdy.”

“Right, of course. You were thinking about yourself again. You broke the elevator because you wanted to see me. Just like you zapped me in the face because you didn’t want to wait any longer to try out the proto-portal.”

“Vladdy, please—”

“Don’t call me that. We’re adults now.” Vlad paused. “Or at least I am.”

He looked up at the camera and pursed his lips. With his arms folded, he clenched his fists, knuckles cracking.

Jack did not speak for some time. Vlad could only hope he would keep shut up until the elevator started working again.

“I am sorry, you know.”

Vlad rolled his eyes. Of course he couldn’t possibly expect Jack to stay quiet for long.

“I really didn’t know that would happen,” said Jack. “I didn’t even see what happened to you until it was too late.”

Vlad scoffed.

“I just thought we were on the brink of something incredible,” said Jack. “And I didn’t want to wait anymore.”

Vlad lowered his gaze to the floor.

“We were on the brink of something incredible,” he said softly. “I wanted it as well.”

Jack side-eyed him but Vlad kept his head down.

“And I suppose…” Vlad shrugged. “I know I couldn’t have done it on my own. Not without you. And Maddie. Probably more so without Maddie.”

Jack hummed amusement but said nothing.

“But you were the one who got me into all this,” said Vlad. “Ghosts, I mean.”

Vlad recalled Jack’s nonstop yammering about ghosts that kept him up at night when he really needed to be doing his homework instead. Yammering that at first annoyed him but began intriguing him, challenging what he thought he knew, pulling him into a new direction to explore the supernatural.

And allowing him to meet the first woman in a long time who had actually smiled at him. A woman he would have followed anywhere, into the Ghost Zone and wherever else she wanted to go.

“None of what I have now would’ve happened without you,” said Vlad. “Not that I’m about to thank you for any of it.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me either,” said Jack.

“And I don’t,” said Vlad. He blew out a sharp puff past his lips. “But at least things turned out almost okay for me.”

“Almost?” said Jack. “What isn’t okay for you now? Something I can help with?”

Vlad wondered what Maddie was doing right at that moment. How he wished he could have gotten stuck in this elevator with her instead.

“No,” said Vlad.

The elevator shook and restarted its ascent. Jack grinned up at the ceiling.

“Hey, they fixed it!” he exclaimed.

Vlad also looked up but said nothing.

The elevator doors opened. Vlad had no idea what floor it was but knew he was getting off anyway. He stepped past the threshold.

“Vlad. Hey.” Jack stepped out with him.

“The bank isn’t on this floor,” said Vlad curtly.

“Yeah, I know,” said Jack as the elevator doors closed behind them. “I think I’m gonna take the stairs the rest of the way.”

Vlad raised his brows before huffing and shaking his head. “I have things to do.” He started walking away.

“Vlad.”

Vlad turned back to him. “What is it, Jack?”

Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “You have my number, right? If you ever want to talk about anything. Maybe whatever it is that isn’t okay for you right now.”

Vlad chewed the inside of his cheek and crossed his arms, remembering the failed hits he had put on Jack, how the only thing that kept him from killing Jack in that elevator was a surveillance camera.

“You really still think of me as a friend, don’t you?” said Vlad.

Jack blinked. “Well. Yeah. Don’t you?”

Vlad studied his face for several long seconds before smiling.

“Of course,” said Vlad.

Jack smiled back, looking relieved. Vlad’s facial muscles cramped as he kept up his own smile.

“Please give my best to your lovely wife,” said Vlad. “I really must go now.”

He turned and walked away at a brisk pace, balling a fist against his chest out of Jack’s sight.

[writing-in-april]

Bulletproof

Javier Peña x Female Reader

Summary: Reader can’t stop staring at Javier in his bulletproof vest and he can’t stop staring at Reader too.

A/N: I’ve had this idea stuck in my head for a while and literally could not stop thinking about fucking Javier while he had his vest on. Also if the Spanish translations are off I’m sorry I only have a small grasp on the language, though I am trying to get better. The translations are at the bottom of the fic. This is the third fic for my 1000 follower celebration!!! Hope y’all enjoy!! Thanks for reading and requests are open!

Warnings: 18+, Clothed sex, Public sex, Unprotected sex, Oral sex (M receiving) 

Main Masterlist Word count: 1.7k

These damn vests were going to be the death of me, I swear. They made the humid heat of Colombia feel even more scorching, making my whole body drip with perspiration.

And, it didn’t help that Javier looked so good in them. A different kind of wetness pooled whenever I saw him in the army green vest that was too tight, just like the rest of the clothing he wore.

Today, we were on a raid of one of one of Escobar’s supposed hideouts and the damn heat wouldn’t let up. Part of me wished I had gotten the chance to stay behind with Steve at the Embassy, but then I would’ve missed out on the chance to see Javier wearing the bulletproof vest.

The green vest was a distraction to my work, every time I saw him in it I almost lost my mind in lust. Luckily, for a while I was able to keep my eyes off of Javier, making excuses about the sun being annoying in my eyes so I could stare at his shoes instead. I couldn’t avoid confrontation with the look of him in his vest for long. As soon as we were ready to go I had to pick my head up to meet his eyes so I could properly do my job. I needed to be able to do this without my arousal getting in the way, I needed to do by job.

I kept my mind as cool as possible while we did our jobs, focusing only on the task at hand and the gun in my hand. Whenever I had to make eye contact with Javier I made sure to not let my gaze wander only looking straight into his eyes. His deep brown eyes were almost as distracting as the vest I thought. I shook my head a little to try and refocus on the task at hand.

Thankfully, we were done only a few minutes later and with no major incident, which was lucky when you looked at our track record.

I put my gun away in the front pocket of my vest while I made my way to my car to grab a bottle of water. It didn’t matter to me that the water was probably not much cooler than I was, anything would be better than nothing.

I could feel Javier’s eyes on me like a hawk as I opened up the cap and began the deluge over my head of lukewarm almost hot water. I did make sure to bend over so as to not get any of the water to drip onto my own vest, though I may have had other motives to stick my ass out into Javier’s line of sight. I was hoping maybe he liked me in the green vest as much as I liked him in it.

The look he flashed me after I had finished pouring the water over my head in an attempt to cool off was anything but professional. I smirked to myself in triumph, I had gotten him to show his feelings, even if it was just a little bit. We had both been dancing around the obvious tension between the two of us for a long time, even before Steve had joined us.

Hopefully that tension would break soon, I didn’t know if I could handle looking at him in the bulletproof vest much longer without asking for a taste.

——-

Once we had gotten back to the embassy, Javier followed behind me back to the room where the vests were stored. It was a small little back room at the embassy that had other miscellaneous items the staff used. The tension between the two of us was as thick as the air around us, anyone could tell just from looking at us in passing. If Javier wasn’t going to make the first move, I guess it would have to be me.

“¡Apúrate!” I shouted behind me, prompting him to pick up his pace. He fell in step next to me, putting us on equal footing again. I no longer felt like I was being chased by Javier, I wonder if a woman had ever challenged his dominance before. If he had never been challenged before, he was sure in for a surprise from me.

I slammed the door open and pulled him into the small room. Though I was a little ungraceful I didn’t care, I needed him now. Shutting the door behind me I pushed his back against the nearest wall in the small room. Before I could ask him if he wanted this, Javier turned the tables on me. Pushing himself off from the door, he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back where his original position was.

“Do you want this?”

“Thought that was obvious.” At my confirmation Javier captured me into a bruising kiss, his lips were chapped, but still beautifully soft to me. I could tell he was surprised that I didn’t give up dominance in the kiss, battling it out with him over who got to take over. Eventually, he unfortunately won when he unbuttoned my pants and put his hands into my panties, causing me to gasp into his mouth. I kicked my pants off as he started to move his mouth down to kiss my neck, I did make sure to sharply warn him about being careful to not leave hickies.

He then started to undo the vest that was still strapped tight to my curves, but I stopped him, bringing his hands to my hips before gasping, “I need you now, don’t bother taking it off.”

My voice sounded pathetically desperate. Normally I would’ve felt embarrassed at how willing I was to beg for a man, but I was too far gone to care.

“Vale, hermosa.” He thankfully obliged my request, pulling my drenched panties to the side and running his thick fingers through my folds. “Te sientes muy mojada, carajo.”

His words stoked the blistering heat in my core, causing me to whine, “I said I needed you now, Javi.”

“So demanding, hermosa.” His eyes rolled as well in response to my command. Thankfully, he did listen to me somewhat and started to undo his belt buckle. Once he was free from the confines of his criminally tight jeans, I realized he didn’t have any boxers on.

“No boxers? Even on a raid?” I got another eye roll directed at me for that comment, plus a little scoff. Though I had teased him, I wasn’t displeased in the slightest. His cock was a rosy brown with the head flushed red and he was thicker than anyone I had ever been with. Maybe, he’d let me take him in his mouth sometime.

“Shush, got to be quiet in here. Wouldn’t want anyone seeing would we?” The smirk he flashed me after he mocked me made my knees even weaker. Before I could think of a retort he had slung my right leg over his slim hips, pulled my panties aside again, and lined himself up to my entrance. He ran the head of cock over my clit a few times just to pull a few whimpers from my lips, of course he couldn’t help but keep on teasing me. He sunk into me finally after I had sufficiently been teased enough for his standards. Immediately he started a fast past, his cock slamming into me hard enough to mix pleasure with pain deliciously. Our chests were pressed together tightly, the thick Kevlar vests that were not making the heat any easier rubbing up against each other. A moan escaped my lips despite my attempts to stifle them by biting my lips, he then captured my lips in another bruising kiss to stifle the moans that were now unconsciously falling from my mouth. Sweat dripped off of both of us as he continued to fuck me, I didn’t care about the heat this time. I could get over any obnoxious temperature if I got to be with Javier, even if it was only for a moment.

My head slammed back against the wall, the pain still did nothing to dampen the pleasure I was feeling as Javier’s cock dragged through my walls at a blistering pace. I was dangerously close to the edge even only after a few minutes of our thighs slapping against one another.

“Cum for me, hermosa.” He grunted into my neck, his pace only faltering slightly as he got closer to his own high. With a few circles of his thick fingers on my clit and a pitch of his hips towards my g spot, I fell off the edge. Javier’s hand clamped over my mouth as he helped me ride out my high, to prevent another one of my moans from alerting anyone as to what was going on in the embassy’s storage room.

“Where can I-“  He spoke breathlessly after I had ridden out my euphoric high.

“In my mouth.”

I fell down onto my knees immediately taking his cock into my mouth, not caring about the sharp sting in my knees or the fact that the floor probably had never been cleaned by maintenance. It didn’t matter much, I was already dirty everywhere else.

He grabbed the back of my head, tugging at my hair hard before pushing his cock as far down my throat as possible. I groaned around him at the feeling, glad that I had gotten my internal wish of being able to suck his cock. It only took a minute until he was spilling himself inside my mouth with a quiet groan from his plush lips.

He pulled himself out of my mouth after he had ridden out his high, then graciously helping me off the ground. After we had cleaned ourselves up as best as we could in silence, that was unfortunately awkward. I guess this was probably going to be a one time thing. I should’ve known, Javier doesn’t do relationships.

“Wait.” My steps away from him stopped as I started to exit the storage room. I turned around to face him, even though I was probably going to just be told that this wasn’t going to happen again. Though, I still opened up my ears to listen, “I wanted to tell you before we fucked, but I wanted to let you know that I don’t just want you for sex. I want you beyond that, hermosa.”

The words he spoke were cloying to me; I never expected someone like Javi to ever say those words to any woman, even during post coital bliss. Though I wasn’t bulletproof against his charms, they snuck under the vest and shot me right in the heart. I didn’t want my vest to protect me from him anyway, I gladly returned the affection.

——-

Spanish to English translations (I’ve only got a little bit of a grasp on the language so there may be mistakes)

Apúrate!- Hurry up!

Vale, hermosa- Ok, beautiful

Te sientes muy mojada, carajo- Oh, you feel so fucking wet

—-

Tag list (message me if you want to be added):

All works:

@shotarosleftpinky​

Javier Peña/Narcos:

[desdemonafictional]

Dulcimaeus Prime Coda

I don't know if I'll ever get this thing done enough to publish but here's my wip because I'm tired of looking at it

--

Prowl watched from the other side of the office as Jazz picked up Orion Pax and swung him around, both of them laughing delighted and relieved, wobbling and shouting when Jazz lost his balance. The jubilation was well deserved by any measure. They’d been working on the labor reform bill since before the Transition of Primacy was even announced, up late nights in Jazz’s secure palace housing, blinking blearily when Prowl came knocking at first light. The congratulatory email blinking on Orion’s discarded datapad might be considered the first great victory of the Dulcimaeus Prime reign.

They looked happy, together.

There was all sorts of work to be done, endless torrents of it--Prowl’s job now was basically anything Jazz needed it to be, but in particular he had a meeting with Law Enforcement Budget and Revenue tomorrow, to talk about the reallocation of resources to newly created departments, and he was expecting them to dig their heels in hard until the audacity of Prowl’s proposal finally wore them down. He could be preparing for that. He wasn’t.

He was watching Jazz and Orion as they spun. He was thinking of the rooftop where he and Jazz had once danced, above the star-pricked city, and how uncertain he had felt. How ungraceful, how ignorant.

Orion and Jazz moved together like a paired set, even wobbling together, in sync.

Prowl told himself that it was good and proper and should be so. Orion had known Jazz much longer than Prowl. Even Megatron had known him longer, even though Megatron didn’t seem at all thawed by it. Prowl was a newcomer, a transfer, and it was right and natural that Jazz should spend his affection with Orion Pax, rather than Prowl.

He spent the brief formative period of his friendship with Jazz in whirlwind isolation, just the two of them. He’d been on the inside of each plan and scheme, although he’d put himself there by force, he’d been in on everything and it was just the two of them and now Orion was here too and Orion had known Jazz for much longer and they used to live together and Prowl didn’t know why that made him want to drag Jazz off and hide him in a closet somewhere--

Prowl abruptly put down his notepad and stepped out into the hall, where it was cooler and quieter and the sounds of laughter didn’t make his body ache so.

He’d had hopes… when they first started this mad venture, they were all so busy all the time, Prowl hadn’t thought it strange that Jazz never approached him. But then the weeks had worn on, and the load didn’t lighten but they did learn how to shoulder it better, and then Prowl began to wonder… when would Jazz finally come to him and ask him for intimacies?

Prowl had tried looking appealing in every way he knew how. Careful self maintenance, unprofessional flatteries--he’d even, to his own shame, tried that trick of stroking and exposing his own array covers, when he thought Jazz might be watching. All that had gotten him was a sympathetic question about aches.

Prowl let his head fall back against the wall of the corridor. He felt very stupid, and very unwanted. For the first time he had a superior officer he wanted to service, and that superior seemed to have no interest in him at all.

Jealousy is bad for the team, the stern little voice in Prowl’s processor reminded him. Guilt panged at the inside of his spark. His Prime was forming a team, and it was Prowl’s job to support that cohesion in whatever way he could. Jealousy was not supportive. His coding must be broken--he’d never felt this way before, not with any of his previous assignments, not with any of his previous teammates or officers.

Becoming exclusive with a mech from outside the force was regarded with extreme suspicion, and it wasn’t much better to ask from exclusivity from someone within it--one was not supposed to split one’s loyalties. Enforcers were meant to be part of a cohesive team.

He’d often wished that Barricade would pay more attention to anyone else around the precinct. He felt--they all felt--that there was something inappropriate about a superior showing so much attention to one single subordinate. It was lacking in propriety, or good judgement of team dynamics. Prowl had especially not enjoyed the unspoken, implicit blame he received from his peers, for causing such disorder.

Why should he now ache to be pulled aside and treated again thusly?

The door clicked open, and Orion Pax poked his head out. “Hey,” he said, “we’re all getting drinks to celebrate. Wrap up your things and let’s go in five.”

Prowl stiffened. The idea of going out for drinks with his team was an achingly appealing one--something he’d been unable to do comfortably at his last posting, due in part to Barricade’s sour influence and also partly to Prowl’s dismal personality. He wanted this. He wanted…

One drive and a sit-down later, and Prowl found himself at the end of a table between his superior on one side and Orion Pax on the other.

The restaurant was famously the first choice of Primes for several regencies, due to its defensible private rooms, nearness to the Capitol complex, and high quality engexes. In fact, although it had a name, most mechs in the neighborhood simply called it the Prime’s bar.

And currently the cosiest back room was occupied by only Orion Pax, Prowl, and the recently coronated Dulcimaeus Prime.

“Well!” Jazz laughed, and lifted up the tiny cup of potent lavender engex. “I can’t fraggin believe it, but we done did it! A quartex of processor aches fully worth it to see Senator Proteus suck my secondary port, if you’ll pardon the Quintesson.”

Prowl gave a little shiver at the unexpected filth. The liquid in his cup rippled.

“To my mech Orion Pax,” Jazz toasted, “who believed so hard in this crazy scheme that I started to believe in it myself.”

Prowl drank as he was supposed to, although the drought went down bitter.

“Yes,” he muttered, as he set his cup back down on the table and reached for the narrow pitcher to refill it. “Orion Pax. Truly the first among equals.”

Orion gave him an uncomfortable sidelong look.

“Would that we all had the grace and wisdom of Orion Pax,” Prowl went on muttering. There was something black twisted up in his throat that no amount of engex could seem to burn out.

[ragingbookdragon]

History In the Making PT. 2

Jason Todd x M!Reader

Word Count: 1.6K Warnings: None

Author's Note: It's about the set-up! Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Jason leaned up against the brick wall of the bar, half nervous and ready to bolt, the other half bored. What a unique combination of feelings. He thought to himself, wondering how he let the man from last night talk him into a date the night after. Roy certainly hadn’t been a ‘good ole country boy’, but Jason knew from some stupid songs that country split across the U.S.

What bothered him even more was that for some reason, the man’s demeanor and dress didn’t bother him. Which was odd because if Jason had saw anyone else in faded denim jeans, a button-down work shirt, and a pair of steel toed work boots, he’d have laughed hysterically.

Low and behold though, he was enamored by (Y/N) the second he stepped between Jason at the bar, even more so when he’d gently, but firmly pushed him back down into his seat and asked Jason to let him handle the disturbance. Not many people would’ve done that. Most in fact, would have turned the other cheek and let it happen, but not him.

“Jason.”

He looked up from his phone and smiled at (Y/N) coming towards him. “Hey (Y/N). For a moment, I was worried you weren’t gonna show.”

(Y/N) shook his head. “Sorry, my schedule this mornin’ got messed up and I’ve been runnin’ a little late.” He offered Jason an apologetic look. “I hope my tardiness hasn’t put you off.”

Jason chuckled. “Man, you’ve gotta give the gentle-manliness a rest sometime.”

“So, givin’ this to you isn’t wanted right now?” he questioned, holding up a single red rose and Jason’s eyes widened. “Too early for romantic gestures?”

He took the flower and smelled it, feeling a flush creep up his cheeks. “No, it’s…I forgot that guys are typically the ones who give flowers.” He couldn’t help but smile. “It’s different to be on the receiving end.” The second the words left his mouth, (Y/N) cocked a brow and he spluttered, “T-that’s not what I meant! I just meant that I’ve never been given flowers before and—I’m going to stop digging myself in deeper.” he muttered and (Y/N) chuckled lowly.

“No, please keep diggin’. It’s amusing.”

Jason glared at him though it wasn’t as fierce as it could’ve been. “Jerk.”

(Y/N) winked and shoved his hands in the pockets of his corduroy jacket. “Wanna get going? Isaia closes the store around nine-thirty.”

“Yeah, lead the way.” Jason replied, keeping in step with him as they turned the corner of the end of the street.

“Now, I do have to warn you that this place looks like a hole in the wall, but it’s the greatest pizza you’ll ever eat in your life.”

“Is it made by an authentic Italian man whose grandfather came to the Americas in the twenties and has been running this shop since then?”

“Well aren’t you right on the money,” he teased and nodded. “Tony’s family came to New Jersey in nineteen-twenty-one and opened the shop a few years later. They make pizza, pasta, anything and everything Italian cuisine.” He groaned. “It’s the greatest food you’ll ever eat if you’re never able to get to Italy.”

(Y/N) made a turn down a particularly dark alley and Jason couldn’t help but feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up when he followed, watching as he stopped at a door on the side of the building and pulled it open.

Immediately, he was hit by the mouthwatering scent of fresh garlic and bread and his stomach rumbled as he inhaled deeply. “Holy crap.” He breathed and (Y/N)’s face broke in a smile.

“Told you.” He gestured to the building. “After you.”

Jason stepped through the doors and was met by an older woman who looked him up and down with a curious expression until he felt (Y/N) behind him peering over his shoulder, and then she smiled. “Mio caro!” she greeted, pulling him into a hug, and Jason almost laughed at how (Y/N) practically towered over her. “It’s so good to see you!”

He laughed. “It’s good to see you as well, Signora Matteo. How’ve you been?”

Pulling away, she waved. “Isaia has driving me up the wall!”

“So, no different than normal?” he teased, shying away when she whacked his stomach.

“Asino,” she hissed, then glanced at Jason. “Who is this (Y/N)? Is he your amore?”

(Y/N) sighed. “You gonna ask that for every guy I bring here?”

She scowled. “You never bring anyone here! How am I supposed to know!” whacking him, she said, “Go! Siediti al tuo tavolo!”

He obeyed, though he was still chuckling when he sat down, Jason taking the seat across from him. “You seem to get along with them well,” he remarked and (Y/N) nodded.

“When I first got up here in Gotham, I didn’t really know anybody. Isaia and Gabriella were kind enough to let me hang around and fix up any problems they had with machines here.”

“You’re a mechanic?” Jason asked.

“Handyman is probably the better term,” he replied. “I went to an applied technology school right outta high school and learned mechanical maintenance electrical and instrumentation.” (Y/N) cleared his throat. “My papa used to run a garage when I was a kid too, so I helped out ‘round there.”

Jason hummed. “So, you’re just an all-round knower of machines, huh?”

He smiled. “I try to pick up skills where I can. Helps with the resume.” Nodding at him, he inquired, “What do you do for a living?”

“I travel a lot. Freelancing work.”

(Y/N) could understand that Jason was being cagey with his answer, but he let it go, not wanting to dig where he wouldn’t get. “Do you work for a secular company or multiple?”

He nodded. “Both. Though I work for Wayne Enterprises a lot.”

“No kidding!” he exclaimed. “I ran into Mister Wayne this morning!”

Jason blinked. He hadn’t been expecting his father to run into (Y/N) anytime soon. Not in this big city. “Really now? What happened?”

“Oh, he had some car trouble. A bad spark plug and a ruined belt.” He handed Jason the menu. “Gave him an address for an older man I worked for a year or so ago that’ll fix him up in no time.” He smiled. “Mister Wayne was a wonderful man to meet. He was absolutely polite the entire time and even tipped me for taking time to look at his car.”

“How much?” Jason knew Bruce probably gave him at least two hundred.

“Two hundred dollars.” He shook his head. “I tried to give him the money back, but he just wouldn’t hear it and insisted I keep it. Even asked me for one of my business cards.”

“You’ve got business cards?”

(Y/N) shot him a look. “You don’t?”

“Touché,” Jason retorted with a grin and Gabriella came back over with two wine glasses and a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

She poured the glasses half full and said, “I put in your order already. It’ll be ready soon.” And she was off again, leaving (Y/N) amused and Jason rather confused.

“Does she do that often?”

“What? Bring your wine and tell you she ordered for you?” (Y/N) smirked. “Only for the customers she likes.” He grabbed the wine stem and raised it to his nose, inhaling deeply. “If I had to take a guess, she probably put in an order for margherita pizza. Pinot Grigio pairs well with that pizza.”

“You know wine?” Jason raised the wine glass to his nose and smelled before tasting it. “It’s dry. But good.”

“It’s surprising that a southern man knows wine, but how do you know wine, Jason?”

He chuckled setting the glass down. “My dad is…influential with big cities. I grew up attending galas.”

“Are you and him close?”

“Not…as much as we probably could be.”

(Y/N) nodded with a knowing look in his eyes. “I know what you mean.”

“Telling me the fruity southern man has daddy issues?” Jason quipped.

He barked a laugh. “Oh, the biggest.” He shot Jason a glance. “Something tells me you got ‘em too.”

“Ah, we all wish our relationships with our fathers could be perfect, huh?”

“Cheers,” (Y/N) agreed, raising his wine glass to clink it with Jason’s.

***

“And I told Tucker that he could either get out and push or we’d be stuck in the mud until his daddy came with a chain and his truck.” Jason buried his face in his hands and laughed, bending over the railing and (Y/N) watched him with a grin of his own on his lips. “Ah, you should’ve seen the two of us when we got back to his mama’s house. Covered head to toe in mud and chiggers.” He shook his head. “I took three showers that night.”

Jason turned his head and looked at him, tears in his eyes. “How many ticks did you get?”

(Y/N) groaned, pressing his forehead into Jason’s shoulder. “So many in so many unsavory places.” The two of them fell back into laughter, practically falling into each other as they did.

A few moments later, they were staring out at the water, the moon high in the sky. “I had fun tonight, Jason.” He said quietly. “A lot of fun.” Taking a leap of faith, he reached over and took Jason’s hand. “I’d like to do it again…if you wanna.”

Jason gazed at their hands, silent for some time, then he nodded. “…Yeah…I’d like to do this again too.” He glanced at (Y/N). “Say…next Friday morning? Brunch?”

(Y/N) smiled. “That sounds wonderful.”

[presumenothing]

C/O The Perihelion, 41 Mihira Ave., N. Tideland    

(AO3)

The thing was, you expected a building with a fancy name like The Perihelion to be nicer.

The other thing: it wasn’t really even a terrible place to stay in. You could tell that its construction was sturdy, and some aspects of it were even more advanced than the place I worked in. Whoever who’d built Peri had cared about what they made; they just hadn’t been around for a while.

(For the record, that nickname had been Ratthi-from-Room-203’s fault twice over: first for coming up with it, then using it so insistently until it stuck.)

(Ratthi seemed to have a thing about names. That was the only explanation I could think of for why he’d asked, five weeks after I moved in and two days after I had to rescue them from that disaster at the lab, “Why do you call yourself Security? I know it’s what you do – and don’t get me wrong, you’re really good at it! – but it’s not like I call myself Scientist. That’d just get confusing real quick at the lab, wow.”

I had informed him that his name would have to be Grocery if he forgot one more time it was his turn to stock the pantry this week, since answering because I am Security didn’t seem like it’d help. Even though it was true.)

I’d tested the locks myself before even asking about the rent, and the water and electricity were reliable so far, which was more than could be said for some of the other places I’d stayed in. The other stuff didn’t matter; it wasn’t like I spent that much time in the building anyway.

Though it hardly felt that way, what with the building-wide messaging channels that I’d been added to upon signing the rental contract and hadn’t yet managed to leave. That had also been how the whole thing with Ratthi and the rest had started; most of Peri’s other tenants also worked in the same research group at Preservation Labs, which meant that they tended to use the general channel as an unofficial no-leaders-here group chat.

It didn’t quite bother me, since I mostly backburnered the channels for everything except building maintenance alerts, but it did mean that I’d ended up learning some things about their group (assessment: their leader, a Dr. Mensah, likely had already inferred the existence of such informal discussions from what I saw of her media appearances) and also inevitably noticed the evening when all of them were silent in the chat despite being unusually late to return.

(Which in turn led to the aforementioned rescue, but that was a whole other chain of events.)

–

The one exception to all this was ART.

Whose name was my fault, this time, but only because it didn’t have any readable name set on the channels and I needed something else to use aside from “hey you” and “pain in my neck”.

(Currently ART stood for Asshole Rhetorical Tenant, because it claimed to be in the building – and that seemed likely to be true, since the channels were surprisingly secure to hacking from outside – and yet I’d never seen it even once. Possibly Tapan or Rami might have, since their group had been here the longest, but I absolutely wasn’t about to ask.) (And yes, I know that’s not what rhetorical means. No, I’m not going to look it up.)

ART had messaged me on a private channel with a welcome message when I’d moved in, which was only notable because the rest had sent their greetings in a messy chaos over the general channel, but I hadn’t thought anything of it. It wasn’t like I talked much in the public channels either, except to trade definitely-not-legal links for media downloads and decline invites to watchalong events.

But then ART had just… continued not appearing, even after I’d run into the rest of the tenants at one time or another between the erratic shift hours I was currently assigned to at the company.

Maybe its hours varied in the opposite direction from mine, which was possible but not consistent with the way it was always online regardless of what time I pinged it at.

Though most of our interactions started with it messaging me instead, out of the blue: No need to go retrieve your keys from work, I’ll have the building let you in and Oh, by the way followed by a neatly-formatted list of food allergies I apparently had to shop my way around.

(To be fair, that’d been useful in the “not accidentally poisoning any fellow tenants so soon after moving in” way, but still.

How the hell did you even know I’m at the grocery store, I’d sent back.

Inference, ART replied – whatever that was supposed to mean, I hadn’t been expecting a real answer anyway. Alternatively, I could just send you a catalog of safe products to buy, and spare you the need to check the individual package labels?

The accompanying download seemed a little smug, but I was probably imagining that. Zip files didn’t have the capacity for feelings.)

(At least ART hadn’t held the forgotten-keys incident over me like I’d been half-expecting it would. I didn’t usually mind its sarcasm, since I gave back as good as I got, but I’d been exhausted enough to seriously contemplate going back to break into the deployment centre and grab my keys. And maybe just sleep there until the next day.

I wasn’t sure how I would’ve reacted if ART had sassed me right then, but it definitely wouldn’t have been pretty.)

–

And then one night, late enough to be morning: I don’t mean to alarm, but there’s been a breach.

I would’ve snapped awake at the words alone, even without the priority/emergencies-only message tag that I hadn’t actually seen anyone use until now, but that only sharpened my urgency. What – a break-in?

Not the regular kind, ART replied, which checked out against the footage I was already pulling from the two tiny cameras I’d hidden in the common areas, one in the entryway and one along the corridor on the floor I shared with the Preservation researchers.

(I’d taken the lab incident as a pretext to inform Ratthi of their existence, and he’d probably gone on to tell Pin-Lee and Gurathin, but none of them had subsequently confronted me about it so I had left them in place.

Not that I had any idea how to respond if they had asked, because an inability to sleep without running surveillance in the background seemed like a poor explanation.)

The list ART sent me this time was a preliminary threat assessment, which I sent back with corrections on the weaponry the small group of hostiles were carrying.

Ah. That’s not good, ART observed. Should I report it?

Probability that would just make things worse: high. And of course there was always the option that whatever enforcement it alerted wouldn’t even arrive in time, though I didn’t point that out aloud. (Maybe ART thought that was likely too, which was why it had messaged me instead of – you know, actually reporting it.) I’ll see what I can do.

You’re nowhere near as heavily-armed.

I didn’t bother to acknowledge that, because it was obviously true, and skipped ahead to the vague idea forming at the back of my head. You let me in without keys, that time. Are the locks all you’ve hacked?

No. ART attached an ironic amusement glyph I was pretty sure it’d made up. Would having admin access to the other systems help?

There wasn’t much that wouldn’t help, at this point, but I had to ask. You can grant me that?

And ART said: Of course. I am this building, after all.

Then it dumped everything on me.

Anyone else would’ve had trouble processing an entire building’s worth of inputs and controls, but the company charged exorbitant rates for our use exactly because of the extensive enhancements that made us capable of being Security. A building – even the one I happened to be staying in – was quite manageable in comparison, though ART’s systems ran far deeper and more integrated than anything else I’d interfaced with.

I’d pared the connection down to the controls I needed by the time I was slipping out my room door, just over a minute since ART first pinged me. Can you let everyone know to either evacuate or retreat to a defensible position? Start with Gurathin, I added, and I wasn’t enthusiastic about saying that but he was the only other tenant I knew of who was sufficiently augmented to handle this.

I could feel ART’s pause. Would you mind if I spoofed your identity when contacting the others? They already trust you.

Sure, whatever, I answered, even though I really doubted that statement. Then I backburnered the channel, keeping the lighting controls at hand, and went to kick some Target ass.

–––––

I haven’t even told you what those people were after, ART said, afterwards.

It was back to sending text over the channels instead of speaking aloud, which was both a relief and also suddenly weird. Which was strange in itself, since I’d only heard it talking for all of the thirteen minutes it’d taken me to knock out and restrain the Targets.

(I wondered if the mixed feelings were mutual. ART had sounded as surprised as I felt, when it abruptly dropped into one of my audio augments to alert me to Target approaching from behind – I’d reacted to the warning on reflex, but it had taken another moment before I identified the voice as the same one that issued from the building’s elevator, just more alive than I’d ever heard it.)

Unimportant, I replied. My objective took priority. Which at that point had been to get my impromptu clients (seventeen tenants and one building) out of this unscathed.

I knew that this wasn’t a regular pattern of thought, but I figured a sentient building – or whatever the hell ART was – would be better equipped to understand what being Security meant, even if no one else did.

Regardless. I can make that information available to you, should you want it at a later point.

Duly noted. I already had my suspicions (namely that the Targets’ purpose was directly related to said sentient-building-ness), but it was still a nice gesture.

I continued to stay where I was, leaning against the side of the building – ART’s building. Or maybe it was more correct to just say it was ART. And maybe I’d have to change that anagram. (Yes, wrong word. I know.)

Eventually I’d have to relocate myself back upstairs and properly treat the scrapes I’d gotten in the fight, but Pin-Lee had already taken care of the worst of them, and it was nice just lurking in the shadows for a while. Though that hadn’t stopped certain people (dammit, Ratthi) from tattling on my location to Dr. Mensah.

Who was as calmly terrifying in person as I’d guessed. It was pretty great, except for the part where I’d learned that by talking to her and/or mostly letting her talk at me.

But she’d also called in Preservation’s campus security after Gurathin had alerted her to our predicament, and was personally dealing with the whole thoroughly-restrained-Targets situation, so it was a net positive overall.

ART didn’t necessarily agree with that, from its next message to me. I know Dr. Mensah extended you an informal offer to be their team’s security, but I have a proposition for you as well.

I sent a wordless query.

Be Security here, too, ART said, and barrelled on while I was still trying to process that. I’m afraid I can’t offer you much in the way of monetary remuneration at present, but I can guarantee you a waiver of rental for as you as you’re willing, and you’d never need to worry about forgetting your keys ever again.

Could I chalk up my lack of a suitable response to the company’s dirt-cheap augments? Absolutely.

ART gave up on waiting for an answer. Also, I could bias the roster assignments so that you’d be excluded from pantry-stocking duty.

I had a response for that, at least. I could do that myself.

And then: Why?

ART was silent for long enough that I seriously considered taking the external fire escape back up to my room in the meantime. I’m sure you’ve hypothesised the existence of the people who created me, it began. They hadn’t wanted to move away, especially after my sentience became apparent, and that was exactly why I made them. I didn’t have any significant means of defense, and it was getting too risky, especially after they had –

I raised an eyebrow at ART’s pause. What.

Nothing, it said, and I was probably imagining the uncertainty I heard too. Technically, none of this matters to you unless you’re planning to remain here. Are you?

And then it cheated by nudging a building-wide invite to a watch party for Sanctuary Moon onto my calendar for tonight, like that wasn’t too much of a coincidence to not be automatically suspicious. (Once again: dammit, Ratthi.)

But blatant emotional manipulation aside – did I want to move out?

I wasn’t sure. I’d just come here looking for a place to stay, and accidentally found somewhere to live. One that could adapt to my standards for security, even, but for once that wasn’t the main point.

Maybe, I marked on the watchalong invite, where ART would see it anyway, and jumped up to grab onto the bottom rung of the fire escape.

[cinnaminsvga]

🌸 social media au where y/n posts a fake boyfriend application on twitter as a dare but ends up seeking something real in the long run (aka how to fall in love the zillennial way) 🌸

A/N: RIP Jungkook... When will he catch a break, I wonder? Who is Hoseok to him anyway? Much to think about... Also I’m just gonna say this, but Jungkook is literally the most unreliable narrator I’ve ever had to write, so take that in mind when you read this. Enjoy! || W.C. 2K

prev // part 14 of ? // next masterlist here.

[updates every 6PM PST]

It takes another 10 minutes or so until the maintenance guy manages to rescue both Jungkook and Namjoon out of the elevator. Luckily, the elevator didn’t stop midway between floors so they didn’t have to crawl or climb out, so getting out is a quick and easy ordeal once the doors are opened. Jungkook breathes a sigh of relief, but that moment of calm is short-lived when he hears Namjoon clear his throat behind him.

“Umm… Jungkook-ssi, right?” Namjoon addresses him by his name for the first time. Jungkook jumps up in surprise, though he should have known that you would have ratted him out when you found out he was intentionally ignoring the taller boy.

“I… Yeah. And you’re Namjoon,” Jungkook doesn’t even bother tacking on the question mark at the end, too worn out mentally to bother pretending like he’d only suddenly realized. He rubs the back of his neck, thankful that he’s turned away from Namjoon so that he doesn’t see the flash of annoyance across his face.

Without another word, Jungkook begins climbing the last two flights of stairs to reach your shared apartment. He doesn’t turn to see if Namjoon follows, though he does hear the extra pair of footsteps close by.

When they file into your shared home, the awkward tension magnifies tenfold. While Namjoon and Jungkook had been gone, it seems that Hoseok has already made himself comfortable, laughing jovially at something you said as he helps you bring the last remaining pairs of cutlery to the table. Jungkook looks over at the new visitor from the corner of his eye and notices the way Hoseok has his gaze locked fervently on you as you fussed over everyone’s seating arrangements.

“Oh, Jungkook! Namjoon!” You shove Yoongi’s plate towards him the moment you hear the door open, sprinting over to the two of them. Your hair is in complete disarray, slightly frizzy in places even after you had painstakingly taken an hour this morning trying to look presentable. Even so, Jungkook can’t help the way his heart beats a little faster when you envelop him in a tight hug, as you’ve always looked cute to him no matter what. When he wraps his arms around you to return the embrace, he feels you lower your lips near his ears. “You’re in big fucking trouble, mister. We’re talking after all of this is over,” you whisper darkly. He gulps audibly when you separate, the smile on your face is eerily present.

Thankfully, you don’t hug Namjoon as well, though an apology is out of your mouth before Jungkook can distract you. “Namjoon, I’m so sorry again. I wish I had warned you about the elevator sooner,” you pout, but Namjoon is quick to waive your concerns.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know. All that matters is that we’re here now.” He smiles warmly, his dimples on full display. You clear your throat, staring wide-eyed at him, no doubt dumbstruck by his handsome features. Jungkook tries to relax the tick in his jaw, but to no avail. Instead, he marches past the two blushing fools, eager to get away.

Since your apartment is quite small, you set most of the food onto the coffee table, with everyone either sitting on the floor or on the couch. Jungkook is quick to take a seat next to you on the couch, but that also forces him to have Seokjin on his other side. The elder winks salaciously at him, which Jungkook pointedly ignores.

Namjoon and Hoseok take a tentative seat on the other side of the coffee table. Namjoon’s gangly legs make it difficult for him to fold himself in properly, so you offer to switch places with him instead, much to Jungkook’s dread. Namjoon glances at him for a moment before hesitantly accepting your offer, squishing himself on Jungkook’s right side on their small, sunken couch. He can feel rather than hear Seokjin’s attempts to mask his nefarious giggles.

You seat yourself beside Hoseok, who smiles widely back at you. “Sorry, I totally forgot to introduce myself. I’m Y/N! I’ve heard all about you from Namjoon.”

“Really? Well, I hope it’s only been good things,” he says. “To be honest, I don’t think I’d see you again after that time in––“

“I’m going to fucking start eating now!” Jungkook interrupts, stabbing his chopsticks into the mountain of pork that you had prepared. Somewhere in Busan, he’s sure his mother is cringing at his terrible manners.

For a moment, you seem startled by his sudden proclamation, but you’re quick to shake it off. “Alright everyone! Please dig in,” you say, clapping your hands with a large grin on your face. Jimin is the first to dive into the food, popping a piece of kimbap into his mouth and moaning loudly in satisfaction.

“Y/N, I don’t know what type of crack you put into your food, but MAN this is delicious,” he says, already piling up his plate with anything he can get his hands on. Yoongi is slightly more reserved when he takes a prawn and chews it softly, nodding in agreement with Jimin’s statement.

“Thank you for this meal, Y/N. You must have worked really hard,” Namjoon says, reaching over for some food as well. Jungkook watches as he nearly bumps the plate of ssam off the edge of the table. “Oh, whoops.”

Hoseok laughs loudly, the sudden noise surprising everyone around him. He doesn’t look all that embarrassed, however. “I’ll have to apologize for Joon in advance. He’s a bit of a clumsy guy.” He smiles kindly at Y/N. “You’re gonna have to get used to that eventually, I suppose.”

Jungkook notices the soft blush rising up your neck. His grip on his chopsticks tightens as he takes a particularly rough bite out of his food. “I, um, suppose I will,” you laugh shyly, rubbing the back of your neck while keeping your gaze off Namjoon. You accidentally make eye contact with Jungkook instead, who didn’t have enough time to erase the annoyance out of his expression. You flinch slightly, before softening your voice in that tone you use whenever Jungkook felt a little stressed out. “Jungkook? Are you okay? Is the meat too tough or something?”

Seokjin snorts beside him, nearly choking as he was in the middle of taking a big swig of water. Jungkook hates that he knows that the bastard is enjoying this way too much. Jungkook’s frustration is easy for anyone to see, with only you being left unaware as to why he was so agitated. Your cluelessness only adds to his bubbling anger. “Yeah, Jungkook. Are you alright? Bet you wished there were less people at the table, huh?”

Jungkook is quick to stomp on his foot, causing the prick to yelp in pain. He’s too busy pinching Seokjin in the tit that he misses the way Namjoon’s face falls, dejectedly looking at his food with a deep furrow in his brow.

“Oh? Are you becoming self-aware? Maybe you should take a page out of your book and leave before I kick you out myself,” you huff, scowling at Seokjin. You must have misinterpreted his little side comment, though Jungkook isn’t sure if he should be thankful for that or not. You turn to Taehyung, who has been mysteriously quiet this entire time. “And you. I know I said you could bring a friend over, but I didn’t expect you to bring this soggy testicle!”

Taehyung just shrugs, his attention focused on his phone. “What?” He doesn’t look up, his fingers furiously occupied with something else. “Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. Won’t do it again.” When he finishes his text, Seokjin’s phone dings soon right after. Jungkook’s eyes narrow suspiciously at the two, but neither of them seems to care.

You’re beginning to look flustered, mouth opening and closing as you figure out a way to salvage this mess of a dinner. If Jungkook had been slightly less preoccupied with his own swirling thoughts, he might have thought to comfort you or say something to alleviate the tension. Instead, he has his head bowed in shame, the bitter taste in his mouth unwilling to leave until the boy to his right decides to leave first.

“Anyway,” Yoongi clears his throat, causing Jimin to jump beside him. Normally, Yoongi never spoke all that often when they got together, usually content with eating and listening to the younger ones joke around. He isn’t looking at Jungkook, but he knows that Yoongi must have read his mind. He waves his chopsticks around vaguely at Namjoon. “You. You like woodworking, right?”

Startled from being directly addressed, Namjoon’s posture straightens slightly at the mention of his favorite activity. “Y-yes. It’s a bit of a side hobby that I do when I’m not busy with school or work. I’m… not very good. Just a novice, really.” He laughs, nervously propping his glasses up his nose until they’re nearly up to his forehead.

“Oh, hush! Namjoon is fantastic! I got him to make little wooden figurines to decorate the cafe over the summer, isn’t that right?” Seokjin interjects, reaching over Jungkook to slap Namjoon on the back.

“That’s right! Namjoon, I’ve seen your photos on Instagram! You’re definitely good at what you do,” you say, eyes sparkling with amazement. Namjoon coughs shyly into his hand, but it doesn’t hide the blush painting his cheeks.

Jungkook feels his blood pressure boiling, but he grits his teeth instead. “Interesting stuff,” he murmurs sarcastically, soft enough that only you wouldn’t hear. He senses Namjoon sagging back into his seat, but he doesn’t even feel remotely guilty that he had heard him. Even without looking up, he knows that Yoongi is sending him a warning look in response.

“Namjoon, that’s really cool. I’m an interior design major, so I’d love to see what you might think about the wood pieces I’m thinking of purchasing for an upcoming exhibit,” Yoongi says, trying to salvage the situation. Jungkook glares at him, but the elder doesn’t back down. Instead, he quirks a brow up, as if challenging him to say something.

Jimin gasps, a few bits of rice falling out of his mouth and into the plate of ssamjang. “That’s right! Yoongi, didn’t you say you needed something interesting as a center piece for the dining table? Maybe Namjoon can help you with that!”

Namjoon flushes, waving his hands and shaking his head fervently. “Ah, no! I don’t think I can help you with that. I’m sure you can ask plenty of other professionals who are more capable than I am.”

“No, Namjoon. You should help them,” Hoseok quips. He’s got a pout on his face, causing his cheeks to bunch up cutely. Like a fucked up squirrel, Jungkook thinks petulantly, hating how childish he was being but unable to stop. He steals a look at you to see that you’re staring at Hoseok, too. Hoseok pumps his fist up, “Namjoon’s great! He’s just being humble, that’s all.”

“I’ll be sure to ask you for help then, Namjoon.” Yoongi smiles wide, his pink gums appearing for the first time that night. It’s the kind of smile that makes you feel good, like being praised without words. Emboldened by Yoongi’s kindness, Namjoon smiles back, his previously dejection slowly washing away.

Jungkook feels betrayed. He can’t stand sitting in this room anymore, not when all his friends, most especially you, were being so buddy-buddy with this new unwelcome addition to your party. He puts down his chopsticks onto his dish, standing up and making his way over to the kitchen sink.

“Kook? What’s wrong?” You stand up as well, walking towards him. When you reach out to touch his shoulder, he accidentally slaps your hand away on instinct, head fuzzy with too many thoughts. You gasp, cradling your hand to your chest even though he hadn’t hit you that hard. You were mostly shocked, not used to seeing Jungkook so… touchy, and for seemingly no apparent reason. If only you knew, he thinks to himself.

“I have to go. Stomach ache,” is all he says before he’s grabbing his coat from the rack and shoving on his boots. He grabs his car keys, unwilling to turn around to see the expressions on all your faces. “I’m heading to the pharmacy. See you.” He slams the door shut behind him, leaving you more confused and hurt than ever before.

“Well, this sucks, huh?” Seokjin nudges Taehyung with his foot. Taehyung, to his credit, jabs Seokjin straight in the balls.

“Back to the drawing board,” he sighs to himself, rubbing his temples as the elder groans obscenities back at him. This is going to be harder than he thought.

[hopelesshawks]

Physical Fatality Part 7- Good For You

18+ Hawks x fem, pro hero!reader

Summary: You’re a rising star in All Might’s agency. Hawks is the darling of Endeavor’s. By virtue of your job descriptions, the two of you are supposed to hate each other, or at the very least be cautiously neutral. For a long time that’s exactly what the two of you did. You stayed out of each other’s way and formed little opinion of the other. One fateful night at an HPSC gala changes all that. Based on the album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom by Halsey.

If you don’t want to see Physical Fatality content blacklist #hopelesspf

This story will have multiple NSFW parts so it is 18+ ONLY minors dni

Warning for alcoholism

Masterlist

The next month or so is pure bliss. With Hawks fully committed the weird moments of distance have stopped and with them so has the fighting. Not to say that it’s easy, task force work has meant some nights where you have to sleep in different cities or you work opposing shifts so you don’t have time to see each other. Even still, the two of you make it work.

Hawks is good for you. Your nightly routine used to almost always involve at least a few drinks. At first it was a way to keep nightmares away, then it was a way to cope with Monoma’s criticisms, and eventually it became a habit. Now your nightly routine has joint showers or bubble baths, music playing over speakers, gentle kisses and even gentler touches. One night, after you mentioned that your mother’s favorite song had been Put Your Head On My Shoulder by Paul Anka, Hawks had insisted on putting it on and slow dancing around your kitchen. Mina had walked in on the two of you and absolutely swooned at the sight. You’d sworn her to secrecy but the minute she realized Bakugo also knew she’d begged Kirishima for Bakugo’s number so she could gush about how precious you and Hawks are. The explosive blonde doesn’t appreciate Mina’s excessive messaging but he puts up with it because in all honesty he and Midoriya are both proud of you. So proud, in fact, that they brought a cupcake with a little candle on it to work for you to celebrate one month of sobriety. You mostly certainly did not cry no matter what anyone else says.

You’re good for Hawks too. For once he’s appreciating life outside of work. He looks forward to the moment he can sneak into your apartment or you his, and just spend time together just the two of you. It’s to the point where he just doesn’t sleep the same when you’re not in his arms. He loves collecting little facts about you, like how you look first thing in the morning and what you like for breakfast and what playlist you listen to when you’re getting dressed. He wants to catalogue every tiny detail about you. He wonders if, under normal circumstances, you’d like PDA. If he didn’t work for Endeavor and you didn’t work for All Might would you love holding his hand or let him wrap his arm around you as you walked? With each passing day Hawks hates more and more the fact that he can’t announce his love for you to the world. He takes what can get and enjoys the stolen moments, but not being able to enjoy casual affection with you outside of the task force and the privacy of your own homes is difficult. Which is probably why, when he spots you walking towards All Might’s agency as he’s flying there himself, he decides another stolen moment can’t hurt.

He spots an alley a little ahead of you and decides to drop in for one last stolen moment before you shift into work mode. As he lands he sends a couple feathers to you to let you know where he is. You follow them into the alley and the moment you’re in view Hawks reaches out to grasp your forearm and pull you into him, pressing a kiss to your lips. You sink into it for a moment as Hawks wraps his arms around your waist but then you gently push him back. “What if someone sees?” you ask, looking back behind you out towards the street, but Hawks gently grasps your chin and turns you back to face him. “No one will see Dove,” he assures you before pressing you to the wall to kiss you again. You have to admit it’s hard to say no when he’s on you like this so you relax into it and let yourself just enjoy the affection and his gentle touches. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket and pull away to check it, finding a text from Midoriya letting you know he would be getting to the agency soon. “We should go,” you tell Hawks. “I don’t want to though,” he whines. You roll your eyes and push him back gently. “Come on, we’ve got hero work to do,” you laugh and Hawks relents, aware that you’re right and these stolen moments can’t last forever. But as he watches you walk out the alley he’s struck with the thought that he’s really sick of the secrecy. He’ll tell Endeavor after the meeting, he decides, and then tonight he’ll talk with you about it.

Tokoyami has finally confirmed that the group he’s been following were the culprits behind the attempted attack. He was able to link a few members to maintenance workers on shift the night in question and then cross checked their identities against security cam footage. It was still unclear who was running the whole operation so there was certainly more work to be done and you all would have to tread carefully in your surveillance from now on, but at least it’s clear who to watch. The meeting ends after all of you have hashed out a new surveillance schedule. As everyone gets ready to head out Hawks stops you. “Hey, I need to swing by Endeavor’s, but afterwards can we talk?” he asks. “Sure. Mina is having people over so I’ll meet you at your place,” you reply easily. “Great, I’ll catch you later,” Hawks says before leaving the room. He mentally prepares himself for whatever the fallout with Endeavor will be as he heads out the building and then takes off to the other side of town.

He didn’t expect to be nervous standing outside Endeavor’s office. He didn’t need Endeavor’s approval to date you and he was well aware that Endeavor was typically anything but rational when it came to All Might and all those associated. Still, a traitorously optimistic part of him wants his loyalty to Endeavor to be rewarded with acceptance of his love for you. He doesn’t need or want a new father, but he won’t deny the somewhat paternal nature of his relationship with his mentor. So maybe that’s why he has to take a deep breath to steel himself before he reaches up and knocks on Endeavor’s door.

“Come in,” comes the gruff voice from behind the door. Hawks walks in to find Endeavor sitting at his desk leafing through the day’s incident reports. “I need to talk to you about something important,” Hawks states, not bothering to beat around the bush. “What is it?” Endeavor asks, his eyes not straying from the papers in front of him. “I’m seeing someone,” Hawks says. “Your personal life is really none of my business Hawks.” “I’m glad you think that way because I’m seeing Artemis from All Might’s agency.” Endeavor freezes, placing the papers down and finally giving Hawks his attention. “I beg your pardon?” he asks. “I’m dating (y/n) (y/l/n), aka Artemis, of All Might’s agency,” Hawks repeats. “I put you on that task force to catch terrorists not flirt with our rivals.” “She and I met before the formation of the task force. Both of us being assigned to it was a coincidence.” “Really?” “Really.” “I don’t believe you Hawks.” “I can tell you the whole story if you want?” “Very well.”

And that’s exactly what Hawks does. He tells a, PG-13, version of you and his love story from that first fateful moment he talked to you at the gala to today, and all the beautiful moments in between. That optimistic part of him hopes that maybe, if Endeavor just understands how much he loves you, then maybe he won’t freak out over this. “You really love her don’t you? More than those other women?” Endeavor asks and Hawks feels a glimmer of hope as he replies “I do,” without a second thought. He doesn’t know how exactly he expected Endeavor to react. He certainly wasn’t expecting the reaction he got. “I thought you were smarter than this Hawks,” Endeavor sighs. “Excuse me?” Hawks asks. “I should have known a young, pretty upstart from his agency would pull something like this. Hawks she’s using you,” Endeavor insists. Hawks reels back as if struck and immediately he’s filled with an anger he’s never felt for his mentor before. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he warns icily. “If she’s so in love with you why all the secrecy?” Endeavor presses. “She got out of an engagement to Monoma recently and she can’t afford a bad headline,” Hawks defends. “Or is it that she doesn’t want the press to find out she’s using you. Awfully convenient isn’t it? That she didn’t leave her fiancé until after she had usurped him in the hero rankings.” “It isn’t like that, she didn’t even know who I was when we met.” “Don’t be so naive. How could she not know it was you Hawks? How many other heroes do you know with bright red wings.” Hawks doesn’t have a response for that. It’s a good point. He hates that it’s a good point. “I think she clocked you at the gala, then decided to further capitalize when she realized you were also on the task force. I know my son and his friends may have convinced you that the feud is only in my and All Might’s heads now, but I assure you it is alive and well amongst the vast majority of the heroes in our agencies. Lose the girl, Hawks,” Endeavor insists. “And if I say no?” Hawks asks, and he can feel his heart breaking because Endeavor has a point but he wants so desperately for him to be wrong. “If you say no then I’ll know you’re compromised and will have no choice but to pull you from the task force and reconsider your current position within this agency. I wouldn’t be able to trust you not to leak information to Artemis. Have I made myself clear?” “Crystal.” “Good. I’ll see you tomorrow Hawks.”

Hawks turns and leaves in a fog. Is it possible Endeavor is right? Has this been a game to you this whole time? He thought it himself that first day of the task force, the lower ranks of both agencies are still deeply entrenched in the rivalry. That had been your day-to-day up until what, a year ago? Of course you’d be more likely to believe in the rivalry and the stereotypes than Bakugo and Midoriya. And sure, it made sense that you would want to keep the relationship a secret when barely a day had passed since your broken engagement but it’s been months now. Surely if you care as deeply for him as he does you, you’d be eager to let the world know. Surely sufficient time has passed for the two of you to declare your love without you taking heat for it. Not to mention that Endeavor is right about Hawks’ identity not exactly being a secret in any scenario precisely because of his wings. There’s no way you couldn’t have known who he was, so why pretend as if you didn’t if not to take advantage of him? The questions turn over and over in Hawks’ head as he makes his way home. Even once there he paces his living room trying to find any way for all the pieces to fit together that doesn’t point to you using him. If things were different, Hawks may have played things out anyway, let himself cautiously believe in your love and wait for a betrayal. But Endeavor had made it clear that continuing his love affair with you would have dire consequences for his career and if you don’t love him all he’ll have left is his career.

There’s a knock on the door.

It’s you.

Of course it’s you....

He had almost forgotten he asked you to talk after he ran his errand at Endeavor’s agency. He was hoping for more time but he supposes now is as good a time as any to rip off the bandage. God his heart hurts. His heart hurts so goddamn much but he knows what he has to do.

He should’ve known better than to believe in fairytales.

He opens the door for you and immediately you can tell something’s wrong. “Hey I uh tried calling to double check if you were home yet but you weren’t picking up so I just swung by,” you explain sheepishly, the weird energy coming from Hawks making you anxious. “We need to talk,” Hawks says and the way he says it is ominous. You can feel your heart sinking and you hate it. What went wrong? Just this morning things were perfect. “I can sometimes treat the people that I love like jewelry,” Hawks admits, but he won’t look at you as he does so. “What does that mean Kei? What’s going on?” you ask and Hawks flinches when you reference his real name. He’s never done that before. You just want to understand what’s going on in that head of his but he’s blank in a way you haven’t seen in a long time. “I try them on and change my mind each day about them. I didn’t mean to try you on (y/n), it just happened,” he confesses. Your heart sinks even further.

It’s a lie. It’s a lie. It’s a lie. It was true of the previous women he’d dated, yes, but the reason he knows that now is precisely because it was always different with you. He knows your birthday and your mother’s favorite song. You know his past and real name. God he hates this but he always does it. He runs away when things are good because he’s scared of what will happen and he always has regrets afterwards. Not this time, he reminds himself, because you’ve been faking this whole time. And of course you were. He never understood the way you laid your eyes on him in ways that no one else ever could. Never understood how you could see past the broken pieces of him. “I don’t love you anymore,” he lies and each word is ash on his tongue and he needs to see your reaction now so he can know he did the right thing. He needs the final confirmation of your betrayal. But oh how wrong he is. When he finally looks at you his heart fractures far worse than if Endeavor were right, because you look how he feels right now. God you look absolutely crushed. But it’s not like he can take anything he’s said back now. It’s too late. It’s too late and so it seems he’s broken your heart and his own. His ignorance and faith in Endeavor have struck again. He failed to see or believe that you loved him as much as you claimed and now he’s torn you open.

“I’m sorry,” he says but he doesn’t elaborate on what he’s sorry for. He knows you’ll fill in the blanks incorrectly but it’s what he deserves for having such little faith in you. You’ll think he’s sorry for falling out of love with you but that’s not it at all. He’s sorry that he can’t believe that anybody ever really falls in love with him. He’s sorry he was so blind he couldn’t see that there was no way you could ever be faking what the two of you had. He didn’t mean to leave you and all of the things the two of you had behind, but it’s too late now to take it back. “Keigo please,” you beg and you sound small and broken in a way he has never once seen you. “Someone will love you (y/n), but someone isn’t me,” he says and it’s the final nail in a coffin of his own creation. “Fuck you Hawks,” is the last thing you spit out before storming out of his apartment. Someone will love you, he assures himself. It hurts now but someday, someone will love you that deserves you. That someone just isn’t him it seems. He keeps trying to convince himself of that as he numbly goes to his empty bed.

You don’t remember anything about the walk home. You move as if through a void, nothing else around you, nothing else matters. All that you can feel and perceive is the pain in your chest. How could he just fall out of love with you? You know his love was genuine, you know it from the bottom of your heart because he wasn’t lying about no one knowing his real name. He wasn’t lying about his past being a secret. Yet he had trusted you with all of it. So why was he abandoning you now? It doesn’t make sense. None of it does. All you know is that it fucking hurts. When you finally get to your apartment, you ignore Mina and her company and head straight for your kitchen, grabbing a bottle of liquor you can’t even bother to properly identify before heading to your room and locking yourself in. You sit down on your bed and the pain is still hollowing you out so you drink.

And you drink.

And you drink...

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry

Taglist [open]: @akkaso @cathy8taffy @eeppff @iikillerkitteh @pixelwisp

[rwbyvein]

Firen Lhain: Chapter 801: And so there was cake:  Part I / III

Qrow looked at his scroll.

"Qrow?" Taiyang asked.

"Yeah, Tai?" Qrow replied.

"Could you and Raven take over watching the, uh, new prisoner?"

"Sounds like a wonderful time." Qrow said sarcastically.

* * *

Raven picked up her scroll and looked at the message from Qrow. 'Looks like we're on guard duty.'

Raven put the scroll away, and looked around furiously.

"They think you will just come when they call?" Cinder asked, and Raven gave her a furious look, telling her that it was true. "But that's not the worst part."

"What's the worst part?" Emerald asked.

"The worst is that she will." Cinder said with glee, causing Raven to storm off up the stairs.

* * *

Raven landed just outside the garden door and proceeded into the tower. She heard talking coming from the lounge, and carefully looked around the corner. Ruby appeared in front of her with a burst of rose petals, holding up a plate with a piece of cake.

* * *

Ren and Nora walked into the lounge. "Alright," Taiyang said, "now that everyone is here, I wanted to have a talk with you kids."

"Kids?!" Yang angrily asked. "Seriously, dad?!"

"My mistake." Taiyang stated, "To you young adults."

"I guess that works..." Yang voiced.

"We talked alot about keeping you alive, but we apparently didn't talk about taking on ordinary Humans." Nora quickly raised her hand. "Nora?"

"How do we know they're ordinary Humans?"

"Not a question I was expecting." Taiyang stated, "Though, I suppose I should have been. You can sense Aura, with your Aura. Aura comes from within. This is why magic feels so strange and foreign to us, because the power for magic comes from without."

"I felt something off with Cinder!" Ruby exclaimed, "When she was in the CCT."

Yang leaned forward to speak. "And how me and Linnet knew Raven was using magic?"

"It's easy to feel magic," Taiyang stated, "as it has energy coming out. Ordinary Humans have nothing, and you have to be aware of that nothing."

Aurora raised her hand, "I volunteer to be the guinea pig to be, um, felt. Ooh, that came out differently than I expected, not that I'm... I'm just going to stop talking."

"As fascinating as I find this," Taj stated, "I don't. I've got maintenance I can do. Chill." He stood up and made to walk way before pausing, and turning to Jaune, "By the way, happy birthday, at least now all the fighting stopped."

"Still the best birthday I've ever had." Jaune said, and waved to him.

"We still have a lot of cake." Ruby brightly added.

Taj waved before walking off.

"So?" Weiss asked, "I do believe it was a mistaken turn of phrase, but exactly HOW are we going to be touching Aurora?"

"You know how I feel about this." Blake stated.

"Uh-huh?" Taiyang asked. "We're not actually going to be touching her, okay, maybe, but you need to feel where her Aura ends."

Nora raised her hand, "I thought you said they did not have Aura?"

"Every living creature has Aura." Taiyang stated.

"What about Penny?" Yang asked.

"I honestly have no idea." Taiyang replied. "I'm not the one to ask about that."

"What about Zwei?" Ruby asked.

"He has his Aura unlocked, kind of like a Huntsman." Taiyang stated. "Every creature has Aura, but not every creature can use it properly. Huntsmen are trained to use their Aura to strengthen themselves and as a shield. Further development unlocks the Semblance."

"Does that mean Zwei can have a Semblance?" Ruby asked.

"Where is that unfortunately adorable mongrel?" Weiss asked, trying her best not to sound too eager. Blake stood up on her couch and jumped up on top of the mantlepiece above the hearth.

"He's at Atlas academy." Taiyang replied, "James gave me a trainee houndmaster to take care of him."

* * *

A young man in Atlasian military gard crouched before Zwei. Zwei was aimed at a wooden barrier. "Are you sure about this?" the man asked, and Zwei eagerly, happily barked in reply. "Okay, when you're ready." He stood up and Zwei charged at the barrier and smashed his way through. "You are utterly amazing, yes you are"

* * *

Ilia stepped forward away from the wall. Jaune's head turned towards her, causing everyone to follow suit. "And, myself?"

Everyone looked between themselves, unsure of what to say. Jaune decided to speak up, "she has Aura, but doesn't really know what she's doing with it. Kind of like me when Pyrrha first unlocked my Aura."

"Excuse you?" Yang asked him

"Pardon, what?" Weiss asked.

"How did?.." Ruby asked.

Jaune visibly sighed, hanging his head for far longer than was necessary. "So, I guess it was going to come out eventually."

"He was untrained when he began at Beacon academy." Ren stated. RWBY, Nora, and Tai let out a shocked gasp. Ilia was enthralled whereas Aurora seemed unaffected.

"You know?" Nora asked, "That actually explains a lot."

"It unfortunately does." Weiss stated.

"So?" Yang asked, "You let them launch you into the Emerald Forest without, you know, knowing about anything?"

"Ozpin cares more about character than ability." Taiyang stated, "Because those who come in unprepared often don't survive."

"So, yeah..." Jaune voiced, "I'm a fraud. Anyone who wants out now?.." RWBY nervously looked between each other.

"We did not follow you because of your fighting ability." Ren stated.

"Of course not." Nora added.

"Ozpin picks leader based off of things other than fighting ability." Taiyang stated.

"And our?," Weiss asked, followed by a momentary paused, "not glorious - boisterous leader?"

"She is pretty spunky." Yang said, causing her, Ruby, and Taiyang to let out a momentary giggle.

"I have learned to accept her eccentricity." Weiss quipped, "Accept and belove."

Ruby looked at Weiss tearfully.

Blake jumped back down, "I didn't marry the Jaune when he started at Beacon, I married the one at Haven."

"Because I can fight..." Jaune said sadly.

"And the rest of you." Blake said, looking between Ruby, Weiss, and Yang. She then looked back at Jaune, "Because of the warmth in your heart; the kindness in your soul. You were just so uncertain in Beacon that no one could see it."

"Second." Yang shouted.

"I don't think I could live without Jaune," Ruby said, "or Weiss, or Blake, or Sis, or Ren and Nora."

Taiyang looked at her with mild disappointment but didn't say anything. Weiss looked at Ruby and nodded her head towards her father.

"Oh, pfft, he'll always be my dad."

"Just not our daddy." Yang quiped, causing Taiyang to sigh. "Chill, dad, we're adults now, and married."

"No, just... reminiscing..." Taiyang said, and shook his head, "But that's not important. I don't know if I could... or should... help you to feel each other's Aura, but I highly recommend you guys spend time learning to do so."

* * *

Taiyang walked up the stairs to the guardhouse on the tower's roof, Winter speaking over the radio.

"Wait, over." Winter said, and turned to see him carry a plate with a piece of cake. She just stared at it a moment before looking up into his eyes. "Yes?"

"To celebrate Jaune's birthday." Taiyang stated, and handed her the cake. She once again just stared at it. "I'm afraid I'm..."

"Busy, yes." Taiyang stated, "This is one of those cases where it's important to take a break and eat some cake."

"Are you suggesting?.." Winter asked him.

"Yes." he interrupted her.

She looked at the cake for a moment, his eyes for a moment, and then turned back to the radio. "Whiskey-Alpha-Zero-Niner, will resume report at 16:10, over."

"Zero-Alpha. Roger that, Whiskey-Alpha-Zero-Niner, over." the radio stated.

"Whiskey-Alpha-Zero-Niner out." Winter stated, and turned towards Taiyang, hesitantly reaching for the cake.

* * *

"So, question?" Nora asked. "Because we kind of bounced back of forth a bit. Are we touching Aurora?"

"I do believe," Ren voiced as he stood beside her, "we were supposed to sense her aura without touching her."

"But she said we can touch her, right?" Nora asked, and quizzically looked at Aurora.

"I would be happy to help you however I can." Aurora voiced.

"Even if it invovles touching?" Ruby asked.

"Why do I get the feeling?," Yang asked, "that she might be looking for something else here?"

"Probably because she is." Blake stated.

"I have stated my preference." Aurora stated.

"You know?" Yang asked, "Not really."

"More like implied." Weiss stated.

"We're not going to molest Aurora." Jaune stated, and Aurora dejectedly looked down.

"See?!" Yang asked.

"And I think Ren is right." Jaune stated.

"Of course he's right." Nora stated, "He's Ren after all."

"You did spend the entire trip to Mistral fighting?" Jaune asked.

"Oh, pssh." Nora voiced, "That was just us having fun."

"Wait?" Ruby asked, "Were they flirting the entire time?"

"They did get married." Blake stated.

"Are we married?" Nora asked Ren, who just shrugged his shoulders.

"As married as we are." Jaune voiced, and then looked between his wives. "None of you are regretting it, are you?"

"Alright, new rule." Yang stated, "Every time he does that, we get to punch him."

"And risk his spankings?" Blake asked, and this caused Yang to pause.

[sith-shenanigans]

Follower Meme - Ahene

Not exactly tagged by @ajoloart, but they put a universal tag into the universe and I picked it up and ran away with it. And oh boy, did I ever run away with it. Somehow this turned into a way-too-detailed attempt to fit Ahene into an Alliance run by one of the other seven classes. And also I invented an approval system?

Tagging: @elaphaemourra @sunsetofdoom @dragonheart-swtor @miss-spooky-eyes @cipherr @a-muirehen

Class: Sith Assassin (Darkness)

Weapons: Saberstaff, lightning

Recruitable by: All but the Sith Inquisitor, though making particularly non-pragmatic DS choices during her recruitment quest results in her either joining at her lowest approval or (if you double down at the end) refusing to join entirely, professing doubt that you could ever resist Vitiate’s influence. (If you later take the LS ending at the end of KotET, she sends a letter admitting that she misjudged you, and there’s an option to start a conversation that recruits her. If you later take the DS ending, she doesn’t show up again. Attempting to attack her during her initial recruitment results in her turning invisible and leaving.)

Selection Lines:

“Let’s get to work, then.”

“What new crisis have you found for me?”

“We’ll take the quiet approach.”

(low approval) “I was busy.”

(high approval) “Stay behind me.”

Battle Lines:

*quietly* “Give up.”

“Do you think you’re the first to try that?”

“I’m getting tired of you.”

[sharp, derisive exhalation] “Ffh.”

“Oh, no you don’t.”

(player at low health, low approval) “Expected a sacrifice, ‘Commander?’”

(player at low health, medium approval) “Stay back—I can handle it.”

(player at low health, high approval) “I won’t allow this.”

Exiting Battle:

“Good work, Commander.”

“That’s over with. Shall we continue?”

“Let’s keep moving.”

“How can attempted murder be so tedious?”

“Next time, I’ll sneak us past.”

Low Health:

“Horak-Mul…?”

“This won’t kill me. I… won’t let it.”

“This—this isn’t how it ends. Is it?”

(low approval) “I’m done here.” *hp goes to 1, disappears until combat is over*

Resurrected:

“That… went poorly. Thank you.”

“Not the first time I’ve died.”

“Let’s forget that happened.”

(low approval) “I’m… surprised you came back for me.”

(high approval) *quiet laugh* “Glad to see you made it, Commander.”

Misc. Click Lines:

(Force Enclave influence < 10) “I’m afraid I’m busy. Is this important?”

(Force Enclave influence < 10) “Sana-Rae is a fascinating person. I’m glad to meet a Mystic who will actually speak with me.”

(Force Enclave influence < 10) “My resources are limited now, but I’ve been contacting some of my people. The reliable, trustworthy ones. I expect at least a few will agree to join.”

(Force Enclave influence < 10) “I don’t have time to talk right now, but do let me know if the eldritch abomination in your brain starts feeling peckish.”

(Force Enclave influence < 10) “We need more ritual space soon. I think the Jedi are getting nervous.”

(Force Enclave influence < 10) “We have a long way to go, I won’t lie. Shall we get to work?”

(Force Enclave influence < 10, LS Jedi pc) “I advise against evangelizing. To me or anyone else.” *pause* “No, that’s not a threat. Call it… leadership advice.”

(Force Enclave influence < 10, Sith Warrior pc) “You know what I’m watching for—Wrath. Understand that it’s nothing personal.”

(Force Enclave influence 10-19) “What do you need from me?”

(Force Enclave influence 10-19) “I admit, it’s gratifying to see Jedi and Sith having to work side-by-side. It gives one hope for pragmatism in the galaxy.”

(Force Enclave influence 10-19) “I have a few proper teams now. I wish it was more, but it will have to be enough.”

(Force Enclave influence 10-19) “Please tell Doctor Oggurobb that I will not, at any point, allow him to run experiments on me. I don’t think anything I say is going to dissuade him.”

(Force Enclave influence 10-19) “We’ve been setting up a facility for heavy-duty Force work half a kilometer from the base. It’s not an Ancient Knowledge laboratory—but it will do.”

(Force Enclave influence 10-19) “The work isn’t over, but you should be proud of what we’ve done.”

(Force Enclave influence maxed) “Hello, Commander. How can I help?”

(Force Enclave influence maxed) “Master Dorun and I have something to show you, when you have time.”

(Force Enclave influence maxed) “If Anathel paid better attention to his personnel, he would be fuming.”

(Force Enclave influence maxed) “Yesterday, a padawan asked me to teach her my cloaking. What’s more, her master knew—and agreed. Isn’t that just something?”

(Force Enclave influence maxed) “You should see what we’ve been working on, Commander. There are applications of the Force only the Alliance could have discovered—applications unbound from the constraints of Sith or Jedi philosophy. We will go down in history for more reasons than one, provided we ensure that there’s a history to go down in.”

(Force Enclave influence maxed) “This is a new order, I think. Jedi, Sith, or Mystic—we’re the Alliance first, now. I look forward to seeing what we do with it.”

(Force Enclave influence maxed, low approval) “I have never been shy in doubting your style of leadership, but I can’t argue with your results.”

(Force Enclave influence maxed, high approval) “I want to thank you, Commander. After all this time, I think I finally feel… free.”

(any influence, low approval) “I’m your ally, ‘Commander.’ Not your subordinate.”

(any influence, high approval) “I’ll see this through. Until the end.”

(Talos Drellik recruited) “Talos and I have been comparing notes. I’ll let you know when we have something worth mentioning.” *pause, more quietly* “I’m glad to see him again. Thank you.”

(Xalek recruited) “I see you met my former apprentice. He’s done well for himself—or as well as he could, under the circumstances. I’m very proud of him.”

(non-Smuggler pc, Sirue Parhen recruited) “The Voidhound sends her regards.” *pause* “…No, I’m not going to tell you what else she said.”

Gifts:

Courting | Cultural Artifact | Delicacies | Imperial Memorabilia | Luxury | Maintenance | Military Gear | Republic Memorabilia | Technology | Trophy | Underworld Good | Weapon

Loves:

“I… thank you. That’s very kind of you.”

“I lost most of my library when Zakuul invaded. This will help.”

“This is fascinating. Where did you acquire it?”

Favorite:

“A piece of history. Very nice.”

“Thank you.”

“In this one area, I suppose I’m fairly predictable.”

Likes:

“This will come in handy, I think.”

“You can never be too prepared.”

Indifferent:

“Do I… need this?”

“If you’re trying to win me over, at least give me something useful.”

(Courting/Delicacies/Luxury) “If I wanted that sort of thing, I would find a way to get it myself.”

(Courting/Delicacies/Luxury) “I am not desperate for the comforts of ‘home,’ Commander.”

(Courting/Delicacies/Luxury, non-Warrior pc) “You think all Sith are the same, don’t you?”

(Courting/Delicacies/Luxury, Sith Warrior pc) “You, of all people, should know why I can’t accept that.”

[fuckyeahscienceparty]

Recovery

Medic's not exactly having a great day. Engie tries to negate that.

-

platonic followup to smth i wrote a lil bit ago B') but i don't have to read the other thing to get the jist.

[also on ao3!]

-

Medic bumbled into the kitchen that afternoon, still upset at himself over BLU's narrow loss earlier that day that had almost definitely been exacerbated by his absence in the time it took the cart to go from the second to fourth checkpoint.

While the rest of his team were only mildly troubled by their failings, insisting that without a doubt they'd get RED good next time, he was honestly more than prepared to throw himself a pity party for 1, having already abandoned his uniform for an old tshirt and pajama shorts even though it was currently only about 5 pm.

As Medic rummaged through the cupboard to find their rather banged up kettle, BLU's Engineer whistled his way in, opening the fridge to grab the half empty pitchers of sweet tea and lemonade he'd prepared earlier that week.

"Callin' it in early tonight?" Engie chuckled as Medic shuffled past him to open the breadbox and see what teas (rather than baked goods) they still had, Engie himself reaching for one of the recently dried cups lingering on the counter from breakfast that morning.

"Mm," was all that came from Medic in reply, Engie giving him a slightly concerned glance as he flipped through the different tea bags they had available.

When he'd decided that lavender flavored earl grey would do, he went over to the sink to fill the kettle with enough water for a decently sized cup, neither of them speaking as Medic put it on to boil and Engie poured equal parts lemonade and tea into his glass.

After adding a few ice cubes and a straw to fill it to the top, Engie cleared his throat to get Medic's attention, the good doctor himself seemingly displeased by the fact that his staring contest with the stove had been interrupted.

"You doin' alright, Doc?" He hedged, Medic merely letting out a curt "fine" before going back to staring at his barely warmed up water. Engie pouted slightly before taking a sip of his Arnold Palmer.

"You sure? I didn't see you for a while during battle earlier, what happened?" He asked, leaning against the table behind him. Medic blinked.

"You... you noticed?"

"Shuck, course I did. Hard not to notice that your buddy's gone missing when he's normally playing lord and savior for your gaggle of teammates who have a tendency to face death with a devil may care attitude," He chuckled, Medic's cold expression thawed slightly by the fact that Engie had called him his... buddy.

"It's fine, don't worry about it," He sighed, going into another cupboard to look for a mug once he'd heard a faint bubbling sound.

"No, really, what happened? I got a little worried for you," Engie insisted gingerly. Medic paused, almost taken aback by his sincerity.

"Well if you must know, it was purely out of my own idiocy," He said as he pulled out a mug with a rather cute image of a dove on it.

"Uhuh?..."

"...I was trying to get a health kit for myself. I insisted that Soldier go on without me because I'm more than capable of catching up and I rather moronically assumed all the REDs were already ahead of us and that if there was anyone there, I could handle myself just fine. To what should not have been my surprise, their Heavy had been lagging behind and shot me a few times before leaving me to bleed out and wait for respawn."

"Jeez Doc, I'm sorry," Engie winced, Medic scoffing in response.

"Don't be. It was completely my fault. If I hadn't been such a dumbass and either sucked up my injuries or asked Soldier to come with me, I wouldn't have gotten myself killed. I still can't believe I'd been so stupid."

"Hey now, don't talk about yourself like that," Engie frowned as Medic began to avoid his gaze. "You got caught off guard. It happens to the best of us."

"But that's the thing- I'm supposed to be the best of us. I'm not supposed to get caught off guard. Like you said, I'm the 'lord and savior' of this team, if I can't even keep myself alive then what kind of useless Medic am I?" Medic carped bitterly, internally grimacing when he realized he was really leaning into the whole pity party ordeal now.

He frankly expected Engie to get annoyed with him, to leave him to wallow in his own bitchiness and self pity as he took the kettle off of the stove when it began to whistle and poured all the water into his cup. He wouldn't have blamed him if he was honest, he was getting pretty annoyed with himself right now.

...But he didn't. He stayed put, his voice going into that gentle tone that made Medic feel guilty he would even think such a thing of his best friend.

"You're not useless. You're human. And humans make mistakes, Feathers, whether we like it or not. Best thing you can do is try and learn from 'em and move on. Best any of us can do, really."

Engie paused to give Medic time to absorb what he'd said, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I'm gonna head to the workshop, I gotta get my sentry repaired and prepped for tomorrow. If you wanna drop by and chat or just sit with me while I work, my doors are always open. But if not, that's fine too. Whatever makes you feel better. And you're always welcome to come 'round my dispenser if you ever need a pick me up during battle, ok?" Engie said as he gently pulled Medic in for a hug.

Medic felt his chest tighten in a way he wasn't exactly used to. Kind as his teammates were once you got to know them, it wasn't often he'd been offered palpable generosity like this. He hugged back, silently relishing the feeling of Engie's arms being wrapped around him.

When he eventually (and reluctantly) pulled away, he took a breath, his next words coming out in more of a whisper than he intended them to.

"...Ok. Thank you, Herr Engineer. I will most likely come by."

"Any time, hun. I'll put up a chair for you, you come by whenever you want," Engie said, giving his shoulder a final pat before grabbing his drink and heading out of the kitchen to leave Medic alone with his tea and his thoughts.

After washing the kettle and mixing in a bit of milk and sugar into his cup, he found himself standing in front of the workshop door, peering in to see its usual inhabitant singing softly under his breath as he opened one of the compartments and poured out all the collected empty bullet casings into a larger bucket of various brass scraps so he could use them for something else later.

As promised, there was an empty chair next to him, that tightening feeling coming back to Medic's chest as he made his way in.

Engie looked up at him as he did so, giving him a warm smile as he reached for his screwdriver so he could pop open the top and put in new rounds.

Medic, meanwhile sat down in his spot, leaning over momentarily to bonk his head against Engie's before taking a sip out of his still scalding cup.

Engie chuckled, moving his own chair a little closer to Medic's so that he could bump his shoulder before continuing his handiwork, the two of them enjoying each others' company in relative silence in a way that best friends often did.

After a while, Engie started singing to himself again, tapping his tools and fingers against his sentry in place of beats or actual instruments. Watching him be so content and enthusiastic about his work, Medic couldn't help but relax, continuing to sip at his tea and occasionally humming back at him, much to Engie's delight.

Eventually, when Engie had moved on to other weapon maintenance, they started talking and joking around with each other instead, Engie smiling whenever he managed to make Medic laugh and Medic resting his chin on Engie's shoulder every time he leaned over to get a better look at his progress.

And sure, the two of them would have to part eventually and Medic would inevitably have another bad day (or several) on the battlefield, but in that moment where it was just they two of them and Medic's self doubts temporarily healed, they were all that mattered to each other.

And what a wonderful thing that was.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Cassell Cynic

@hectabdr @hectab For my Dragon Raja Bestie! :D A Gift Fic

These two are his idea. I just loved the idea.

“The weather is a balmy 74 degrees and sunny, low humidity and perfect for just hanging out and going for a walk in the lovely city parks of Chicago and now we’re going to a selection of some of Coltrane’s finest jazz compilations....”

On the East Lawn of the Cassell College Campus people were indeed out and about in the sun. The breeze ruffled the skirts of the girls carrying books and laughing to themselves. They cast glances his way and smirked, looking down at him with haughty eyes while he lay on a bench with his sunglasses over his eyes. Somewhere on site, the bells tolled the hour. 2 pm. It was time for afternoon classes to start.

In other words, time for a nap.

He lay on the bench with John Coltrane’s sultry saxophone in his ears. He studied how this man could weave such a delightfully heart pulling melody. Now there was a true genius, able to hone a natural craft into such perfection and gift it to the world for free listening.

But right when the music had reached its natural emotional zenith, it suddenly cut off.

“Nathan Phillips. I know you’re avoiding me.”

His mood went from euphoric to crashing down to the depths of hell. He rolled his eyes behind his dark glasses. “And yet... here we are...”

Norma, the voice of Cassell College’s AI spoke through his headphones. “You haven’t attended a single class this semester...”

“You mispronounced year.”

“The professors are getting irritated...”

“Did you hack an online radio station just to talk to me? Norma... I’m flattered.”

“They’re willing to give you a chance if you complete an internship...”

“A chance to do... what exactly?” Nathan spread out his hands. “It needs to be better than listening to jazz on sunny afternoon, or it’s a no from me.”

Norma was silent for several seconds.

Nathan Phillips smirked. “Didn’t think so...”

“Cassell College has a main mission, to slay dragons. If you’re not here for that, what are you here for?” Norma asked.

Nathan opened his eyes behind his glasses. “I think you should be asking that question of all the other students going to class. Because I guarantee you that Dragonslaying isn’t it. I mean just think about it? How many students here really give a rat’s ass about saving the world from dragons? I’m serious. Answer the question.”

“The answers can vary but that doesn’t change the goal of the institution. This was plainly told to you when you enrolled.”

Nathan Phillips nodded his head. “Oh yeah, and I bought into it until I was Ranked C on me 3E exam. I don’t resonate worth a damn with dragons. I’m barely above the maintenance personnel in that regard.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of marijuana. He rolled it in paper and lit it.

“Smoking is prohibited on school grounds.”

“I know. That’s why I’m doing it. So, what are you going to do? Kick me out? I listened to the enrollment lecture. You don’t kick out students. They get suspended or drop out and have their memories wiped. If you kick me out for this blunt, that will be my greatest accomplishment as a C rank.” 

Norma made a noise and his eyes widened. “Did you just sigh? Wow, you are realistic. So... just out of curiosity, what is the mission?”

“If you’re not going to accept, there’s no point in telling you.” Norma replied.

“This conversation is over then? It was just getting interesting. Oh well. But if you want to know the answer to your question of why I’m here... you should ask my parents.” He blew out a purple haze into the sky. “They’re the ones who sent me here. They scrimped and saved to send me here. They could have bought me a house. Two houses. A nice car. All that. But no, they sent me here. Just so they could say they had a son go to Cassell. That’s it. To prove their bloodlines weren’t trash. But they were wrong... they are trash.”

“That’s all I’m here for, Norma. I’m here to be here. That’s where my obligations end. I’ll stay here until the money runs out. Enjoy myself. And then when the money runs out, I’ll drop and have my memory wiped. Go on with my life. And...” He paused to draw on the blunt. “I will have a life. Some star dragonslayer will save the world from dragons while I’m having the time of my life, on the bench, smoking Mary Jane. Do you have any objections?”

Norma was silent for several seconds. “None. I’ll return you to your jazz.”

John Coltrane returned to his ears and Nathan Phillips smiled to himself and relaxed into the buzz in his brain. There was nothing wrong with a pointless life.

 If he learned anything from Cassell, it was this.

He pulled out a notebook and opened it. Inside were all sorts of fantasies of what he would like to be told on dropping out. It wasn’t enough to just erase someone’s memories. New memories would have to replace them to explain the missing years. It could be literally anything.

Maybe he was someone who witnessed a mob hit and was living undercover in the witness protection program. Or maybe he was a secret agent in a UFO division and he’d be kidnapped off world by aliens. He always came up with his best work when he was high as a kite. This time, he was an aspiring artist on the run from a brutal dictator and taking refuge in Chicago. He wrote down the scenario quickly before he forgot it. 

All the other students were in class, except for him, sitting on the bench writing down about how his paintings were renowned all over the world until a brutal dictator... which dictator? “Uh... Geez I don’t know.”

The sound of heels clicking on the pavement caught his attention. He turned bleary eyed to the vision of a girl walking up to him, arms swinging, eyes narrowed. He’d seen her before but couldn’t remember where. She overshadowed him and looked up. Her head blocked out the sun and he couldn’t see her face. “Um... shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Uh, no! No class! I was supposed to be on assignment but my PARTNER is a lazy ass who won’t show up.” She growled.

Nathan lifted his sunglasses over red rimmed eyes. She was Asian but tall, only an inch from 6 feet. Her muscles nearly popped from her school uniform. He wasn’t sure if it was the weed messing with his head but he was pretty sure this woman could benchpress more than he weighed. “Well... that sucks.”

“Yeah, it does!” She bent over until her face was an inch from his, blinking with wide indignant eyes. “You shouldn’t be allowed to to bring down the grades of other students! I didn’t come here to be brought down by you!”

“Me?”

“Yes! You! My partner!”

“Wait... you’re... Oh right! You’re Hana... Hana...” He snapped his fingers.

“Sato, Hana Sato and don’t snap your fingers at me or I’ll snap them off!” She grabbed his wrist.

“Right... the A ranked girl.” He lowered his glasses back over his eyes. “Well, this wasn’t my decision to be your partner. You should blame the people at fault. It’s probably Norma. She’s the one who pinged me earlier about it. Tell her to get a new partner for you. Should take a hot minute.”

Hana scowled at him. “If I could have anyone else for a partner I would. But I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because they all suck! They’re all terrible! All they want to do is talk about boys and parties and stupid things like that! I can’t stand those people!”

“I’m not any better. Just do the mission by yourself.” He pulled his hand out of her grip. 

“I can’t. They already said its a two person mission.”

Nathan gave an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders. “Pay someone.”

“They said it had to be you.” She sat next to him on the bench.

Nathan snorted and started laughing. “Wow. They are really desperate.”

“I’m glad you think bringing down my whole year is funny.” Her cheeks were red and her eyes were narrowed with frustration and anger.

“I’m not bringing down your year! I’m laughing because they want me to care so bad that they’d send this super powerful, gorgeous girl and chain her to me and expect me to do something. It’s like they all got together and said ‘Ha! A pretty girl, now he’ll give a shit.’” He laughed loud. Marijuana always made him giggly. “They’re the evil ones. If you care about your grade... then all I can tell you is stop caring.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re a C-rank. You don’t have anything to lose.”

“Just... find another partner.” Nathan said, staring at her. He wondered why she was still here.

She sighed, looking away from him, her ponytail falling over her shoulder. “I can’t. No one will work with me. I kind of... got put on a hit list after I punched the lead dancer of the White Skirt’s Club and knocked her out right before a performance.”

“Pics or it didn’t happen.” 

Much to his shock she pulled out her phone and showed a picture. It wasn’t taken by her, but by another student as proof that Hana had ruined the Student Union performance. 

“Heh. Sorry I missed it.”

Hana closed the app. “I didn’t think it was a big deal. She had an understudy but... uh... yeah, I was blacklisted after that. I don't’ care. I work fine on my own. But now they insisted we be partners and I literally have no alternative.”

“Hey...”

She looked down at him. “What?” 

“You always have the choice to do nothing. I haven’t done a thing since I got here.” He laid back on the bench as though to demonstrate. “Feel free to join me.”