#i was supposed to try to vacuum and mop the floors today
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onlythebravest ¡ 4 months ago
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today I’ve managed to do two tasks that i haven’t done but needed/should’ve done a while ago. first and biggest was doing the laundry of my t-shirts seeing as i was all out of my best black ones two weeks ago and my okay ones probably a week ago. the last two days I’ve worn a “best” one that I found on my couch, and then today I had to wear one that makes me a bit uncomfortable. good on me bc I need a really good one tomorrow and this way i also got the wash my pajama biker shorts. this was a major success, good on me!! the second one was nice the bathroom cleaning spray the own meter from the floor to the shelf it belongs on after thinking about doing it for over a week. which, also success but it took me less than ten seconds so it feels more like a failure of not having done it before then it does a success now. but the laundry!
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flowerfreya ¡ 3 months ago
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Weaponized Incompetence
“Do you know how to clean”
Part 1
Pairing : John Price x Reader
John and you are going through a rough patch , one that may not be solvable
John is going to win his wife back. How? He doesn’t know but it will be done. He loves you with all his heart and he hasn’t been showing it in the best way. He put you on the back burning , a constant always in his life that he didn’t nurture or pet. Never stimulated. Didn’t think he needed too. Thinking paying the bills, having money, and not cheating was enough to be a good husband. (It wasn’t).
Price has been cleaning all day, trying to make things right. He brought flowers for the house. Vacuumed every room , mopped the kitchen and bathroom and started laundry.
He thought he had a great day, so he decided to take leave for the next three weeks. He hasn’t told you yet but he thinks that you will be excited.
That’s not the case.
When you step into the house, Price is standing at the door waiting for your reaction, if you have any at all.
Looking around and then seeing his face and looking likes he’s waiting for something, “What’s going on ?” , you say with a little chuckle.
“I cleaned up” , he says, lifting his arms up and turning his body in a look around motion.
“Oh…what did you clean up?” , you ask, starting to walk around the house.
“I vacuumed, mopped and started the laundry”.
“Did you put down carpet freshener?”
“No”
“What did you use to mop?”.
“Just water”.
“Did you separate the clothes by light and dark?”.
“No”.
John looks up and sees you just exasperated and shaking your head.
“I honestly don’t know why I’m surprised”, you walk over to the washing machine and stop it, pulling out a light pink shirt that you know is for sure supposed to be white.
“John, you basically just pushed dirt around when you mop with just soap you know that right”, you start getting the mop bucket out with soap.
He thinks that’s found a solution , “maybe if you write me a l-”, he stops talking when you whip your neck and stare at him.
“Are you a child or an adult?”, you ask.
“An adult”, he answers.
“I’m not making you a list to clean, you're in the military, you should know how to clean…do you know how to clean?”, you turn off the water and turn your whole body towards him., “are you going to answer the question?”
John clears his throat,”yes, I know how to clean”, he doesn’t understand why you are so angry. He thinks that he did a lot for you today, shit almost everyday he does a lot for you and you being angry at him and not telling him why is starting to grate his nerves.
“What did I do to you”, he snaps, “because you are angry at me and I don’t understand why”
“I guess it’s because you act like a child and I’m tired of it”, you snap back.
“I heard what you said to your friend over the phone, do you actually feel like that?”, he ask, moving closer to you. He doesn’t want to argue with you. He wants to be better for you. He wants you to want him not because of convenience , but because you love him.
“Am I tired of cleaning of your shit, shit that I have AKSED you multiple times to clean up….?”, you answer him.
You start to cry, an angry frustrated cry , “I work too you know , I’m tired all the time, and when I get home from work and see nasty dip bottles on the floor I get frustrated.” , you start to mop , like you don’t want him to see you cry.
“I remember asking you to clean up the bottle, to not leave it just laying around, you said okay, do you remember that”, you look up at him with raised eyebrows. He nods his head because he does remember that, actually he remembers all the times you’ve asked to not leave the dip bottles everywhere.
“In my head, I told myself that this would be the last time I ask you to clean up after yourself, and the next week a fucking dip bottle sitting right along side the couch”, you let a self deprecating chuckle.
“I’m done”, you say with such finality. It scares him that he won’t be able to get you back.
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passivenovember ¡ 2 years ago
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“Do we have a mop?”
Mrs. Harrington looks up from her crossword puzzle, razor sharp #2 poised to hack and slash her way toward victory, “Our house is covered wall to wall in tasteful black hardwood,” She says, because her husband’s time last week was 3.35 and she plans to shave at least ten seconds from her own today. “Of course we have a mop.”
Steve shuffles in the doorway, rapping four knuckles against the wood to get her attention. “Could you tell me where it is?”
“Steven,” She sighs, “I’m a little--”
“I want to clean up.”
She resists the urge to dig her fingertips in her ears. Bites down on shock and thrill that her son has finally taken to the perfectionism that runs the roots on both sides of his family tree. “Go dig around the mud room,” She says, returning to her crossword, “That’s where one usually keeps mops, vacuums, dustpans--”
“Thank you,�� Steve disappears, leaving Mrs. Harrington’s study in blissful, waving quiet.
She makes it another ten words before all hell breaks loose.
“Mom!” Steve shouts, voice muffled by walls and imported rugs. “Mom, I can’t find the--”
“Goddammit,” She hits the stop-trigger on her alarm clock. 4.15. Her husband’s going to have a field day with this development. 
The kitchen is filthy, but only in the way that shows her son is trying his best. Her precious marble counters are streaked with forgotten all-purpose cleaner, and the rugs have been removed, shaken out, and put on their stay mats crooked. 
Every dish in the house has been left in the sink and somewhere, past the sound of Steve digging through the pantry and mumbling to himself, something is burning. 
“What on Earth--”
“Mrs. Wheeler used to make Nancy clean the floors with pinesol,” Steve breathes, his face as red as a lobster when he pokes his head around the doorway, “But we don’t have any pinesol, mom, I’m not sure what--”
“I don’t like pinesol. Smells too much like a burning nuclear factory.”
“What am I supposed to clean the floor with, mom?”
Mrs. Harrington tugs a mitt onto one hand and removes a sheet of charred sugar from the oven.
Thinks maybe they’re chocolate chip cookies, or brownies, or--
She turns the oven off, crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s gotten into you, Steven?”
Steve charges out of the pantry and stops dead in his tracks. “Nothing,” He says, gripping the mop handle so tightly that Mrs. Harrington is positive it’s going to snap in half. “It’s just. I have someone coming over tonight, and--”
“Do you fancy this person?”
“No. Yes, I don’t. I don’t know--”
“You know, When I met your father he didn’t know you couldn’t clean glass with dish soap.”
Steve’s eyes get big. “You can’t?”
“No, it leaves streaks all over the place,” She rolls up her sleeves, turning the faucet water on as hot as it will go. “Anyhow, the first time I came over to study for our pre-law exams that first year of graduate school, he had tried to clean his entire apartment. It was a massive failure because he didn’t have anything in the way of a conventional cleaning product.”
“What did dad use?”
Mrs. Harrington laughs, unable to help herself. “Olive oil.”
Steve saddles up next to the dish rack, using a clean tea-towel to dry whatever’s handed to him. “Dad’s an idiot.”
“Yeah, but he loved me. Maybe he didn’t know it at the time, but I felt it. The second I walked in and fell into the wall because the floor was so slippery,” She pins Steve with what she hopes is a gentle, knowing look, “It meant the world that he’d even try.”
Steve looks thoughtful for a moment. “Okay,” He says, drying his hands on the seat of his Levi’s. “But what do I use to mop the floor--”
--
Two hours later, the house is clean enough that Mrs. Harrington doesn’t feel guilty returning to her crossword puzzle. 
She sits down and restarts her timer just as the doorbell rings. She listens, straining to imagine the big, goofy soft smile that matches the tone of her son’s voice. 
“Billy,” Steve says, and he might as well float around on heart-shaped clouds. “I made some cookies--”
“Smells like you almost burned the house down,” The second voice answers. 
Mrs. Harrington holds her breath and hopes against all hope that this kid won’t break her son’s heart.
There’s a long pause and then, quiet as a sunrise, Billy laughs. “I’ll choke ‘em down for you, pretty boy.”
For you.
Mrs. Harrington starts the timer and doesn’t even care that her husband beat her record. 
5.18. He’ll smile when he sees it.
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kassette--woodswich--esquire ¡ 2 years ago
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Heads up, ranty time.
I work as a house keeper, at an independent living senior apartment. I.E., the folks living here need to be able to care for themselves. We, the housekeeping staff, are offered as an amenity.
Now. The people that live here aren't working class folks. These tend to be the higher income, complain about liberal types. The apartments here aren't cheap.
I try to do my job and go about my day. We as house keepers are supposed to do light housekeeping. Dusting, floors (vacuum, sweep, mop), the kitchen sink and counters, and the bathroom. Not too hard. Light touch up stuff, not deep clean.
Here's my reoccurring issue. You guessed it, Karens. Several of my folks have a detailed itemized list of how I'm a failure, usually stuff they think I missed. Two of them asked for a different housekeeper, because I wasn't "good enough". Many of these folks are known problems, with one that my boss outright refuses service now.
I can't keep these folks happy. Half the people I clean for think I'm an angel, the other half seem to think I'm their personal slave and a widely known failure.
I've worked customer service for 10 years now, and I'm just broken. I've cried several times here, because of how brutal these Karens are. They're black Friday at Walmart bad.
Just today, one cornered me, accusing me of being a liar and a slacker, and threatened me. "I'll go to your boss". Go a-fucking-head. I'm doing my job. I left a note for my boss as a heads up, and to let her know I don't appreciate being threatened.
I've had it. Three times now I've almost walked, and my partners have more often than not had to comfort me. (Shout out to @leifdoescosplays )
I'm so tired. I hurt. It's not enough. Fuck.
I'm hoping the job interview this afternoon goes well. I'm going to drop this place like a hot iron.
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stonerzelda ¡ 2 years ago
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LONG ASS DIARY ENTRY LEVEL RANT ABT MY DAY INCOMING!!!! literally dont worry abt reading it i just NEED to get this down on paper/text cuz i am exhausted as FUCK okay. Alright. Nobody is allowed to bitch at me for it this time okay ive bitched at myself enough today!!!
Anyway so basically it started with me missing out vital information that i was working with someone i never met today, who was busy helping out other departments bc she doesnt actually do housekeeping primarily but i was so busy sobbing about my coworkers cat who i NEVER even met yesterday that i didnt. Catch this when it was mentioned to me gahdh.
So im panicking bringing all 3 carts up to the 5th floor, I start a room that was previously requested to be done early as she had a pedicure appt at 11:30, i wasnt supposed to be the one doing it but i was olone and freaking out so i was like fuck its gotta be me. I start it and maybe 20 minutes in somebody Politely comes up to me and asks if i knew where the other cleaning supplies were, and instead of putting 2 and 2 together (person in uniform ive never met on my floor + asking abt cleaning supplies = The Person That Is Fucking Helping Me Today) my big brain decides to VENT like "honestly idek whats going on, somebody was supposed tk be helping me but i guess they never even showed up 😠" and she just looks at me like "😐 thats me. I was here at 8am, I just had some kinda important things i needed to help out with." So. Cue me doing the classic 😳 face and start spewing apologies, admitting I was literally SUCH a MASSIVE fucking dick for no fucking reason + huge idiot for not figuring that out, she's immediately very forgiving and mentions that she did a 15 hour shift yesterday cuz SHES A FUCKINGE PARAMEDIC‼️‼️‼️
So yEAH im never ever ever ever ever gonna live that one down. Anyways once im done annoying her with more apologies and i finish my room, i start on the rooms im assigned that are closest cuz it just makes sense right? Wrong cuz now ive pissed off a resident cuz he hasnt done his dishes yet and was expecting me later on today, so he lectures me about messing up his routine which is fair, but then he goes on abt how i need to figure my shit out meanwhile the only reason this is happening is because MY routine was messed up. But explaining that to a 90yr old is literally pointless so i take the L. Then the OG room i did's resident calls me over and complains that i didnt do anything, meanwhile i sanitized + dusted + vacuumed + mopped every square inch but i didnt see the clean linens she HID IN THE FUCKING CLOSET so i had to go back and make her bed before her appointment, then finish the second guys room, then try to start on another ladies room who politely came by to ask me to do hers next, and so on and so on and so on and so forth.
BUSY BUSY BUSY FUCKINGE DAY then the paramedic girl asks me for help on a room that smells particularly bad, but then she gets called to cover for someone else- i already feel terrible so im like no problem, ill finish your room dont worry about it (thinking she would come back- she didnt)
So all in all i did 8 rooms, re-did 2, then got abandoned and i had to stay an hour after my shift was supposed to end to throw the dirty mops and rags in the wash/take out the garbage and i STILL didnt get tk the 1st floor bathrooms. Rip but my boss never called me back when i tried to ask him abt it so ill just do it thursday lawl.
Then i come home and spend 2 hours helping sweep up turf dirt in the rain so swag. Anyways diary entry over thanxxxx bye
bruhhhhHHHHHHH ive been forcibky put on break bcos ive had sucj a clusterfuck of a morning at work today lmfao FACK!!!! Ill talk about it l8er for now im chain vaping (not a thing but who care) and listening to my emotional support alien ant farm peace and love ✌️😖
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lunaekalenda ¡ 4 years ago
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Sooo, I saw someone else do this, and I really loved the idea. Since ur my fav writer👀 (*winkwink), I would absolutely die of happiness if you did an aot boys househusband headcannons. Idc which aot boys as long as Reiner is in it (fr tho he's the most househusband material 😩).
aaAAA i feel honored, thank you so much!! i hope you like it <3!!!! o(≧∇≦o)
❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁
❁ shingeki boys!
❁ eren, armin, reiner, jean, connie, levi, porco, niccolo
❁ little implied mentions of sexual themes 
❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁
eren:
- he tries his best, don’t judge him.
- if you’re out for more than a week, he’ll die of hunger.
- “honey how am i supposed to cook pasta?”
- “just put it in boiled water.”
- it wasn’t that difficult, but he left it in water for too much time while playing some video games and it is now a mass.
- he stays by your side while you cook, watching it cautiously, but he ends having you against the kitchen island.
- “Eren, i’m cooking, please.”
- his mouth bitting your ear playfully.
- “i’ll be satisfied just with you, no need of food.”
- usually he orders a pizza after that because the food ended being a mess.
- “Eren Jaeger, the next time you distract me from cooking...”
- but, he cleans really well.
- he’s really constant and he keeps doing it until it shines.
- he usually cleans while you work, and he leaves the automatic vacuum working before leaving for his work,
- but, once he puts his headphones on and connects online with his friends...
- his desk is a huge mess, full of energetic drinks’ cans and empty packs of snacks. he cleans it once he’s finished playing, but sometimes he forgets,
- he’s waiting for you on the couch when you arrive late, dressed with his shorts and with his hair tied in a man-bun.
- “i was waiting for you, i missed you so much today...”
armin:
- he’s really clean because he doesn’t mess or mess up things, so you can have the house organized.
- he only makes a mess when he's studying for important exams.
- a lot of books on his desk and around his chair. A lot of papers with appointments.
- "just leave this, i promise i’ll clean it once my exam is done!"
- he cleans it, unless he arrives really tired from the exam, then he goes to sleep automatically.
- when he's alone, he cleans the pets' houses and gets rid of their furr
- also takes naps with his cat while waiting for you.
- he’s really good at ironing, he’s really fast at it.
- his shirts are always impeccable. 
- he’s also trying to learn how to cook.
- trying.
- “i made breakfast but i think i burned the pancakes”
reiner:
- he's a huge man and he seems clumsy, but no
- he's incredibly good at tasks.
- he wakes up early, even earlier than you, to prepare you a bath and breakfast for you two.
- “Rein, you don’t have to do this, you can sleep until your work hour”
- his work has night turns, but he shakes his head and keeps doing it for you.
- when you try to wake up early to do the same for him, he’s already awake, pulling you closer to him again.
- “why were you up so early.” he says , his sleepy voice caressing your ears when he speaks. 
- he’s also really clean, and it is not new, Bertholdt says he was like that when they shared a flat.
- his breakfasts are the best of the world: strawberry smoothies and fruits salad with fluffy pancakes.
- when he has free day, he likes to buy little things that remind you to him when he walks with the dog.
- “I bought you this chocolate lip balm because you said your lips are getting hurt because of the cold.”
- he also loves kids so much. he wants to have a family. 
- “just imagine a little girl waking us up at morning to accompany her to school.”
jean:
- he's so clingy he would do tasks just to be next to you.
- like, doing the laundry in the washing machine room, so small for two people, and be really near to you...
- and at the same time, he wants to show you he deserves to be your husband.
- he works a lot just to show you he can be your husband and the daddy of your children.
- "look babe, try my spaghetti"
- they were actually good, if he cooked a little bit more he will master it for sure.
- "imagine if we make here a garden with a couple swings for our babies?"
- he started working o a cute garden for you two spend the summer days out.
- he put white roses and pink dahlias, and a table with a couple chairs.
- he also put some lights for the night, to power them on and be a even more incredible garden.
- he also proposed to you under this lights.
connie:
- he lazy
- he just wants to watch tv, eat and sleep.
- but, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do tasks.
- not a lot of them, but he does.
- like he does, but not all of them.
- “i don’t know how to use the washing machine.”
- “then mop the floor.”
- “but that’s so boring, baby please...”
- when he goes to the supermarket, he buys cups of instant ramen and sodas.
- “Connie we need real food to survive. We can’t eat everyday instant ramen and cola.”
- “but you look the color of the lettuce and i don’t know why, so imagine i take a poisoned lettuce because i didn’t analyze the color and we both die”
levi:
- he cleans the house in deep every two days. 
- he also keeps it organized.
- actually the thought of having kids bewitches him but scares him, just thinking about all the toys in every part of the house.
- he’s a really clean man, and you also clean up the house while he works.
- he likes to spoil you with his acts, like preparing you bubble baths, helping you to sew your clothes and making you braids.
- fortunately, your bathtub is big enough for the two of you bathing together.
- he likes to caress your waist and torso quietly, just the sound of water and your quite breaths.
- his hands on you makes your skin feel electricity.
- he enjoys that moments of privacy and intimacy.
- also drying your hair when you’re about to go to sleep.
- "if you sleep with it wet you'll catch a cold, dummy"
porco:
- he usually avoided the chores, but when you moved with him, he started to pay more attention to what he had to do.
- he’s more fixed on the way your hands take his clothes than on the things he has to do to wash them.
- “i’m paying attention!!”
- his excuses are always that you're a distraction for him.
- "but you're so gorgeous... i need you. now."
- "porco it's the fifth time you say that today..."
- "and not the last."
- you can't say no because you're as needy for him as he is for you, but you try to hide it.
- at the end, he needs help for all the tasks.
niccolo:
- he cooks sooo well
- every time you arrive home, he’s cooking something.
- pizza, seafood, cakes...
- the house always smell so nice...
- you don’t know how to cook that well, but you help him cleaning all the things he uses for his plates.
- and you help him giving him what he needs.
- “could you pass me that knife, please?”
- his hands always touches yours when he takes the knife
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sh1tbird-shantytown ¡ 4 years ago
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original post/idea came from @memes-saved-me
and thank you for encouraging me to write it! i had lots of fun <3
———
Steve Harrington’s parents weren’t around often. People knew that, they were aware. Now, they weren’t home much, yes, but they weren’t not home enough for it to be a worrying case of neglect. They still called in, had the neighbor keep tabs, and came home at least three times a month.
When you asked Steve about his family he’d simply shrug his shoulders and tell you that his father had a firm in the city. When someone asked Mr. and Mrs. Harrington about their son they’d wave a hand and mention how ‘he’s just on his way to graduating’ and then change the subject. Was Steve Harrington the perfect son? Maybe not. Were the senior Harrington’s good parents to begin with? Debatable. But they had something close to functional. They digress.
And so, as children who didn’t have prominent leaders in their life usually turn out, Steve was a lost cause when it came to actually living on his own. He had the money for food and his parents kept up with the bills. But he was horrendous when it came to actually keeping the house up to shape.
Until he had to figure it out to save his own ass.
The first instance was messy.
His first party had been wild. Junior year. Half his grade and then some had shown up. He’d gone all out. The long, fancy dining table had been loaded with foods all fatty and desirable. Kegs had been placed outside for peoples free flow. The expensive stereo which had been installed that spring blasted music from a collection of mixtapes. And by the end of the night, the party had been raging. Raging as in fights broke out, people got reckless, everyone started getting destructive.
That was when Steve regretted not having a plan, he was too sober to just let it go and deal with it in the morning. He knew that wasn’t a good idea. Multiple things happened all at once. Someone dragged a keg in from the backyard, too drunk to find the strength to carry it. And apparently too deaf to hear it scratch up the maple wood floorboards. Then, two seniors bashed their heads into the wall. Successfully denting two very noticeable holes in the drywall. But, oh, that wasn’t all the destruction. Some junior (Steve vaguely registered his name as Jake) was thrown into the wall, actively also breaking a shelf there too.
He had turned off the music and then clanged pots together to get them all out. It worked. A little surprisingly.
And then he’d been left with a damaged house to deal with.
He picked up all the litter both indoors and outdoors, put the little leftover food into the fridge, vacuumed, and then went to bed in exhaustion.
===
The next day he’d then been overwhelmed with many worries over the destruction caused to his home. He was just thankful it had been Saturday. He had the weekend to figure this shit out. He went around the house and made a list of everything that needed repair.
1.) The floor
2.) The holes in the walls
3.) That shelf (REPLACEMENT)
4.) The table
Oh yes, the table. His family’s long, fancy table had an abundant number of scratches engraved into it. Something no amount of waxing could fix.
His first thought was to look for all the tools his prestigious father had to offer. So, he looked everywhere. The basement, the attic, the closets, the offices, the shed. And he did find some. A hammer, two screwdrivers with different points, a tape measure, a wrench, a measuring level, and exactly 28 screws. But even that wasn’t enough and he knew. Next stop was the local hardware store.
Mr. Jimmy was the local handyman and he was nice enough to everyone. But not so much to the Harrington’s.
“What’re you doing here, boy? You know, son,” Jimmy’s neglected beard rustled when he spoke and his shop smelled of anchovies and cheese doodles. “I used to know yer Mama. Back in the day. She was a purdy thing, that woman.” He sighed something fond, “I miss that there woman. She’s not the same. Barely see her nowadays.” Steve was used to Mr. Jimmy’s delays, wasn’t subsided too much.
“Hey, Mr. Jimmy,” he stepped through the threshold of the old shop. “I’m looking for some tools today. Think you could help me?”
Mr. Jimmy regarded him with squinted eyes, “You using yer Daddy’s money?”
Steve blinked, “Yeah?” Mr. Jimmy folded his arms impassively. He had obvious tan lines that peaked out through his sleeveless shirt. Skin red over age.
“I don’t want no money from that bastard’s account!”
“But—“
“I’ll have none of it,” the bulky man stepped forward and Steve’s back hit the cold glass door.
“But, Mr. Jimmy, you’d be taking from him. Wouldn’t that be better than just letting him keep all that money for himself?” Steve reasoned. Adding the suggestive and innocent lilt to his tone, worked his bystander charm.
The scornful eyes grew with joy, “Why—“ he laughed suddenly, loud and invasive just as he was. “You’re a rotten little junior, aren’t yeh!” he galloped over to his counter with the same joyous lilt. Steve stood still in case the man swerved into another decision. He watched as Mr. Jimmy himself walked around his shelves, searching. “What kinda stuff you lookin for anyways?”
Steve struggled to find his voice, “Er- Uhm- Hah. W—Well I have to replace some wood flooring, fix a scratched table, replace a shelf, and patch up some holes in the wall?” He received a raised eyebrow before the man started hurriedly piling supplies throughout the shop into the counter by the cash register. Steve didn’t even want to think about how much it would cost. Although, if he thought about it, replacing everything and then paying someone else to do it all was probably more of a hole. Sure, the emergency cash that had added up over time would be gone, but at least he wouldn’t be disowned for the ruined furniture.
“That’ll be $78.75,” Mr. Jimmy pressed some buttons and Steve startled a little when the loud clang of it opening echoed. He pulled out his wallet anyway and dug around for the cash. He handed over four twenties only a smidge reluctantly.
Mr. Jimmy was giddy at least, “This here money will do me some good,” he nodded to himself as he stored the greens away and started packing the supplies in tightly within big paper bags.
“I’m sure my father will miss it,” Steve fibbed, “Keep the change.” And carried the three hefty loads up and out the door.
===
He had Queen playing the speakers and a crow bar in hand. What he was supposed to do now that he supposedly had all of the materials was a toss up to him. But he had to try.
He got down on all fours and began prying between the first ruined board and one of the unscarred ones. It lifted with a creak and he watched it carefully as he moved the bar up and down repeatedly. At one point it didn’t peel off any more and so he went side to side with it. Still nothing. He tried to push forward but there was too much resistance.
“What the hell? Come on you pathetic piece of wood!” he muttered exasperatedly. He pulled back a little and then slammed the bar back under the board. There was a sharp snapping sound that made him freeze. But the board was unstuck. And, oh would you look at that. He was unceremoniously proud. The floor board popped off. He saw that there was some dried up white lines underneath. He decided that it looked like that stuff in the bottle labeled ‘liquid nail’ and placed the board to the side.
He spent the rest of the late morning tearing up floorboards. By the time a late lunch break was approaching, he had accomplished removing all the damaged floor. He went into the kitchen to wash his hands quick before calling for a pizza when he realized the water accumulation in the sink. And it wouldn’t go down.
“Okay!” he cried in frustration, “What the actual hell now?” He got down again and opened the cupboard doors to the pipes coming down from the sink. There were steel pipes that started from the sink and curved around down into the bottom of the cabinet. There were rings that Steve assumed connected them. So to see what was backing up the sink he’d have to unscrew a couple. Right? He got up and dusted his pants off (a lost cause by this point) and went over to the pile of tools by the front door.
He grabbed a wrench, or at least what looked like one the plumber had used when he’d visited once or twice when Steve was a kid. It took him a minute but he finally loosened the mouth of it and fitted the groves over the ring of the pipe. He twisted and some water started dropping down. It started making a puddle so he hurried and grabbed a pot, placing it right underneath. He twisted again and again and again.
He sputtered as some sprayed into his face, “Awe hell! Disgusting!” but he kept twisting anyway.
Eventually it came off. But the water was quickly overflowing. Not to mention rancid. He yelped in shock and ran all around the kitchen trying to find more bowls. He found one, a china bowl that was his mother’s great aunt’s. He yelled out as he saw the grey water streaming down onto the kitchen floor at that point. He ran back and held the fancy ceramic serving bowl up to the open pipe. He sighed in relief as it worked and when it stopped, finally, just barely brimming the bowl, he saw tons of little pieces of orange.
“Who the hell put orange peels in my sink?” he muttered as he carefully waddled out to the back yard. It was cold out and he didn’t have shoes nor socks on. He jogged on his toes all the way back to the tree line and tossed the gross contents into the bushes there. He ran back shivering with a tight hold onto the rim of the china bowl. When inside he set it on the counter and fluttered about gathering towels. He mopped up the rest of the water mess and went to turn on the sink to check his work.
“Wait!” he jumped down in panic just as he turned the water on and off in the same second. The water inevitably dripped down through the open pipe but it was only a little. He leaned his head tiredly against the open cupboard door, face sweaty and hairline damp. He took the wrench and attached the rings back on snugly. Then, he turned the water on with a quick flick at the knob. He laughed happily as nothing leaked and the water trickled down without blockage. He leaned back against the counter and panted as the slight adrenaline rush flowed away.
===
Some time later he figured that he should probably work on the holes in the wall. He had some sort of paper roll made of one thick strip and a big bucket of smooth and pale mud textured stuff. He took the wide spatula thing that Mr. Jimmy had instructed of him to use and stared at the two dents in the white accent wall.
“Ummm,” Steve looked from his full hands, roll of paper stuff around his wrist and mud bucket in one and the spatula in the other. “Well what the hell do I do now?” he asked himself. He could really use Mr. Jimmy’s insight right now. Or Tommy. Tommy knew this stuff his uncle was one of the local handymen. But Tommy had also been the one to drag the keg in so maybe not him. He stepped up to the biggest of the damages and pulled off a piece of the thick paper. He held it up to the wall and blocked off the hole.
“Oh!” he realized excitedly, “I see,” Steve nodded to himself proudly and crouched to set the bucket on the floor. He stuck the spatula in and took some up with it. “Like paste,” he mumbled to himself and started smoothing the mud stuff on one side of the tape strip he’d measured out. He grinned and stuck it to the wall over the hole so that the top and bottom connected to the uncracked wall. He did that same thing until the whole hole was patched up. He looked at the pale ‘paste’ and looked back at the wall thoughtfully.
He started, then, to slather more joint compound (he’d finally read the bucket) on top of the tape (he had also then remembered the rushed instructions Mr. Jimmy had thrown out). He smoothed it out tediously and left it be to repeat on the other hole. When he’d finished with that task he found his arms and pants speckled with clumps of dried and crumbly spackle. Steve didn’t think it would be this messy. He picked it off his arms as he walked back to the upturned floor. He winced as the dried beads pulled at his arm hair.
Now, to get the new flooring in, Steve grabbed the hammer and the cylinder with the glue stuff. He really had no clue what it was supposed to be. But he did have an idea of what he had to do. So, he laid out all the new flooring, which he was happy to note was just about a perfect match to the old floor, and started patching the right lengths in place. When he had the puzzle figured out he stared at the tube thoughtfully. He scratched at the tip to see if it would give and when it didn’t he went to the kitchen for scissors.
He snipped off the cap and held it upright as he ran back to his station. Steve turned over one of the boards and pushed in the bottom to get the contents out. Which proved more difficult than he’d hoped. A spurt squirted out but then it stopped.
“Okay,” he sighed defeatedly, “What the fuck?” he set it down and went back to his pile of hardware supplies. There was an odd contraption that did have a base with the same diameter of the cylinder canister. He shrugged a grabbed it, “Worth a try.” He fitted it in and adjusted it so it looked somewhat how he assumed it should. He set the point on the board plank and pulled the trigger a few slow times until the glue came out. He laughed a loud ‘AH-HA’ and swirled it around. He flipped it over after setting down the canister and contraption and fitted and locked it in as best he could with the hammer. Sure, there was about two dents because he hit it a little bit too hard. But it was in and he only had five more boards to fit in. He felt happy enough.
Throughout the rest of the installment he had managed to not get the ‘liquid nail’ on his hands and there weren’t any too obvious dents in the floor, nor anymore scratches. He went back to his list to cross things out and check his progress.
1.) The floor
2.) The holes in the walls
3.) That shelf (REPLACEMENT)
4.) The table
He knew he had to use that block thing to sand down the dried compound. and then he had to repaint the wall white. But that would be simple. The shelf though, that was something else. He had seven wood planks that Mr. Jimmy had cut down for him already. He just had to screw them together and sand them down. Mr. Jimmy had said something about stain or wax but Steve waved it off, the only thing that went on the old shelf was little boxes that held his great great great grandmother’s spoon collection (something he had stored away before his party).
He went outside to the patio with the small hand drill, the 3x4’s, and the thin screws that he’d bought from the store. He sat criss-cross on the concrete and set up the little shelf. It took fifty six minutes and a couple minor slivers and scrapes, but he had the shelf put together with the screws just barely noticeable. He inspected the wood and decided that it was fine as it was. A close enough replica. He went back inside with it, not bothering to sand all the little nooks, and placed it against the wall experimentally. If he put it down a little the holes from before would be concealed just fine.
He drew two little lines with a pencil down the line where the original screws had been. He knew he needed a post to screw into, that the drywall wouldn’t hold. See? He was learning. He lined up the backing plank and placed the level on top, shifting the shelf just so the bubble was in the middle of the lines. He then drilled a screw through it and into the wall. Before he let it go he drilled in the second with some struggle since the he kept loosing balance. But eventually, it was in the wall. His arms were sore and he felt a headache coming on but he had the new shelf up and if his mother was kind enough to not go inspecting it, it would pass just fine. He laughed victoriously and skipped a little around joyously. He was almost done.
“Just a few more things, just a couple,” he consoled his aching limbs. Drills were hefty little things and reminded him of those wild horses in movies that always tried to buck the cowboys off. He groaned a little as he spotted the mess of a table on his way to grab a snack.
He turned his nose to the visual reminder, “I’ll be back to deal with you,” he grumbled. “I need a damn Jell-O cup.”
===
It was actually the next day that he finally got to it. His parents would be back home Monday and he still had a few things left to do. So much for an easygoing weekend. Tommy had called that morning and asked him to go with him to a neighborhood baseball scrimmage, but he’d said he was busy and hung up. He had been mid-sanding down the dining table. And after three hours of perfecting and perfecting it all again. After so much time getting sore and sweaty and coughing from dust. The table was finally flat and there was no more sign of scratches. He got the cloth that Mr. Jimmy had thrown at his face the day before and opened the strong chemically smelling can. He gagged but dipped it in and started applying the wood stain carefully, following the lines of the wood on pure instinct. It made sense too even if he wasn’t totally sure if it was actually right. But, either way, within that hour he had the table back to its original color and left it to dry completely.
He stared at the bumpy wall of compound. He knew this would be bad. If the wood dust was bad, this mud stuff was going to be worse. He wasn’t that naive.
And he was right. By the time it was smooth he was coughing and in dire need of a glass of water. He was never having a damn party at his own house again. Tammy and Sara could continue to host them, people didn’t react well to the spaciousness in the Harrington house apparently. In a rush and loss of interest in his work, Steve quickly painted over the patches with white and left it to dry. He got the can of wax and rubbed it on around the table in his final task.
He was tired as hell and he still had to go to school tomorrow. And he really needed to speak with the person who put orange peels down the damn sink.
===
On Monday morning, at approximately 5:48 AM, Steve Harrington sat in the living room watching I Love Lucy while eating toast as his parents bustled inside.
“Hello!” he heard his mother chirp tiredly as she entered through the foyer. She hurried over and he gave her as welcoming of an embrace as he could. “How are you, dear? Foods in good supply?” she pulled away to inspect him with her hazel eyes, “Heating system still working alright?”
Steve nodded and smiled, “Everything’s just fine. But I have to go and meet Tommy before school, that alright?” he stepped to the side and towards the stairs.
“Of cour—“ his mother was cut off by the monotone cords of his father.
“Stephano, what is up with this mess!” In that moment, Steve Harrington didn’t think he’d ever felt as much fear as he had in that moment. He bolted to the kitchen.
“What mess?”
His father pointed to the wrench, screw driver, and tape measure on the island counter, “Away with this mess, Steve. Clutter is nothing to approve of. It accumulates and it’s unprofessional.” If he only knew.
===
Years later, when he was in everlasting love with Billy Hargrove and they had their shared, small and cozy Chicago apartment, his handyman skills came back to great use.
“Steve! Steve!” Billy shouted in a panic.
Steve rushed from the bedroom to the kitchen, socks skidding on the floors, “What is it? What happened?” he flocked around his boyfriend and checked for any injuries.
Billy pointed rigidly to the sink, “Somethings up with the pipes or something.”
Steve rose his brows in bewilderment, “You don’t know how to unclog pipes?”
Billy furrowed his, “You do?” Steve nodded and opened the cupboard, kneeling to check the pipes.
“Okay so there’s PVC pipes here, I don’t even need a wrench!” he peaked back up at Billy’s wide eyes. “Can you get me that bucket I usually give you when you get hungover?” Billy nodded and jogged out of the room. Steve got a hand towel and placed it down, “What did you put down the drain anyway?” Billy almost hit him in the face with the bucket when he turned back. He froze and took it from the nervous man.
“Uhm. Potato peels,” he answered.
Steve scoffed, “It’s always peels isn’t it?”
Billy stepped back when Steve started turning the rings, “What?”
“Nothin’.” He twisted it quick and managed to not get sprayed in the face while the murky water and loads of potato peel flowed out into the large bucket. When the flow stopped he reattached the pipes together and hefted the bucket out to Billy. “Put that down the toilet, Tiger.” He turned back and heard the sloshing in the bucket and the grunts from Billy as he went through the hallway. Steve chuckled to himself and wiped up the small water spillage.
When Billy returned he had opinions.
“First of all, that shit was gross as hell,” he left the bucket by the front door before returning into the kitchen. “Second of all,” he boxed Steve in with a smirk in his face, “I didn’t know you were so good at pluming.”
Steve rolled his eyes, “Finish making the calzones, Bill, and maybe I’ll show you how to fix that hole in the wall behind Max’s photo hanging in the living room. It’s suspiciously shaped like that baseball I told you not to throw around.”
Billy fumbled for his words.
Steve shook his head, “Don’t think you can hide that shit from me, Tiger, I’m the one that dusts.”
===
The next time was when Max and Lucas visited.
“William, do not throw that!” Steve scolded as he held a pan with tomato sauce in it. Lucas dropped his hands that had been ready to try and catch the ball and Max turned a page of her book from where she was on the sofa boredly.
Billy grinned and threw the football anyway, of course. Steve sighed and then grew furious as the same football smashed instantly into the rickety bookshelf and the sad, old thing crumbled on impact. It fell over from Billy’s uncalculated, rebellious force and the shelves snapped apart from the sides. Books strewn out in a messy wave. Steve stomped over and only lowered his near growl of scolding when Billy showed himself already terrified. Max grinned and set her book in her lap to watch.
“What did I say?” Steve demanded while whacking Billy’s shoulder with the oven mitt. The other flapped his hands back to stop the assault.
“I’m sorry!” he yelped, “I’m sorry! We’ll just buy another one!” Steve glared and whacked his head, lighter than before, but still with vigor.
“We don’t have the money, William! We bought the last one at Goodwill for $14!” He bustled back to the kitchen and put the pan into the oven to cook the sauce the rest of the way. “I’ll just have to go down and ask Jeffery to use his wood scraps and nail gun. He’s always kind enough.”
Billy, who had followed him in, looked skeptical, “Jeffery Jeffery or creepy Jeffery?”
Steve rolled his eyes, “Old man Jeffery. And Jeff isn’t creepy, he’s just anti-social.”
Billy went unswayed, “I want to go with you. Let’s go,” he went to the coat closet and Steve sighed, unsurprised.
Steve took his coat and boots from Billy and called to the kids, “Lucas, Max, the sauce will be done in a couple hours. If we’re not back by then just take it out and let it cool please!”
“Sorry, Steve!” he heard Lucas say sincerely.
“Got it, Boss!” Max answered with another flutter of a page in her book.
===
While Steve attached the air hose to the nail gun Billy watched with creases in his forehead.
“What are you ogling, Tiger?” Steve asked as he applied wood glue to a piece.
Billy stooped forward, “Can I help?” he was almost eager sounding.
Steve grinned, “I was hoping you’d ask.” He lifted his own hands from holding the planks together, “Hold that as I nail it together would ya?” Billy nodded a bit unsurely but placed his hands and pushed just as Steve had. Steve lined up the gun, pushed down, and pulled the trigger. Billy flinched at the loud noise and Steve set the gun down and stood up from his focused crouch.
“Are you alright,” he cupped Billy’s cheeks, thumbs gently smoothed the corner eye crinkles.
The other nodded and pecked Steve’s forehead before shrugging it off, “Was just surprised is all.” Steve nodded back and smiled kindly before returning as he was before and finished the line of nails.
Not too long later, the book shelf was put together and Steve handed Billy a piece of sand paper. He showed Billy how to use it and he got complaints in return due to the uncomfortable noise it made.
But they did return home with a lovely new bookshelf. And they’d made it together so it was all that extra bit of special.
Maybe Steve didn’t disapprove of that party all those years ago after all. Look what he got out of it?
The smile Billy got whenever he looked at that shelf filled with Steve’s mystery romance and his own horror thrillers, that fond and euphoric smile was enough for Steve Harrington in the long run.
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if-found-return-to-gusu ¡ 4 years ago
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Drunken Shenanigans
(First off, sorry that this isn’t broken up into parts. I don’t know. Maybe you guys prefer it in one long chunk anyway? Well whatever. I’m too lazy RN but let me know your preference maybe for future stories? Cuz like. Y’all know how long winded I am.)
---------------
FUCK OKAY JUST
FUCKING DO IT WEI YING
ENOUGH PUTTING OFF THINGS.
I want to tell things in order. Or as close as I can remember. But I’m gonna be honest. The fire fucked me up. And I know that each story brings me closer to having to talk about it. 
But I think I have to talk about it. 
So
Let’s see. Drunk Lan Zhan. 
I WANT to talk about that because in retrospect it was fucking hilarous. 
But I haven’t been able to because I’m just all sorts of fucked up right now. 
But I think a way to get me less fucked up is to just start unwinding the pieces.
And honestly, writing helped before so I think it’ll help now. 
It’s just that starting has been difficult. 
So I’m just gonna rip off the bandage. 
I’m just gonna start. 
------------------
So it was Friday. Fuck. Already a month ago?? Jesus I’m late. 
Okay A month ago today. Friday. 
Let me gather my thoughts. 
What was I doing? I think I was at home. Doesn’t really matter. 
I got a text from Lan Zhan. Not completely unusual, but I knew he’d had plans to meet his family earlier. I think I was surprised that he was texting me so early in the evening? I remember expecting to hear from him later..
Er.. no wait I think I was going to text him around 9. To at least check in on him and wish him a good night. But he texted me first. 
I’m scrolling back through my phone. What exactly did he text? I know it was like… wrong right away.
Oh yeah. It was my name 3 times in a row. Or almost. The first two times were mistyped. And then after he got it right he apologized for the misspellings. 
I asked him what was wrong and��. String of martini glass emojis? Oh man he was GONE already wasn’t he?
SO obviously I booked it over there. Remember going through a few different apps to figure out which company would get me there the fastest because I sure as shit wasn’t gonna leave him there alone.
Looking back maybe I should have called someone else? His brother could have gotten there faster. I think I didn’t want him to worry. I figured if this was the state that Lan Zhan was in after meeting with his uncle, then Lan Xichen probably wasn’t in the best state either. 
I should have checked up on him too but I didn’t. I was too worried about Lan Zhan. 
I really should have checked in on him.
Maybe it’s not too late? Who takes care of Lan Xichen when Lan Zhan is fucked up? 
Okay that’s not right. Fucked up isn’t right. Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan has issues, I know he does. After all he is, surprisingly enough, still human. But he manages them so much better than I do. 
I’m fucked up. Not him. 
So let’s rephrase. Who helps Lan Xichen when his little brother is also upset? I know he was, is?, dating Jin GuangYao? Though he doesn’t talk about it much. I’ve met the man in passing a couple times. Doesn’t seem the most comforting.
Though I guess there’s DaGe too. I remember he took pretty good care of him at my birthday. 
Is it wrong to want to make Lan Xichen split up with Jin Guangyao so that I can set him up with DaGe? I just think they’d be cute together. 
Ah not that I’m in any place to do that. See above; I’m fucked up. I should untangle my own love life before I try to poke holes in someone else’s. 
And… maybe I shouldn’t be talking about these things on my blog?
Ah fuck it. I’ve said more personal stuff here already and none of you know anyone I’m talking about anyway except Ghosty and… Idk. I trust Ghosty. 
Can’t help it. I just trust them. 
Anyway
Anywaaaaayyyyy where was I?
Fuck these tangents. Are they worse than before? Or have I always been like this? I should re-read my old posts but somehow I’m scared to. I don’t want to look at where I was right now. I feel like so much has happened… am I even that person?
I don’t know why looking back scares me. Probably old defense mechanisms. Probably why I can’t remember anything before I was 10 too. Mmm. I should look back. I don’t want to forget.
But I think I’m afraid that I’ll… I don’t know… Either miss or hate who I was. If I miss who I was what will I do? I can’t go back to it. You can’t go back to what you were. 
But if I hate who I was…. Well I hate who I am so I guess there isn’t much difference….
Shelf that.
Fuck. My complaining about going off on tangents became a tangent. 
Where Was I???
Okay. So I carted my ass over to Lan Zhan’s, thinking not for the first time that maybe I should just fucking learn how to drive???????????
But whatever. I got there pretty quick. 
I knocked on the door, heard some concerning bangs and then silence. 
Knocked again and called out his name. 
Think I heard him again… swearing????? But it was muffled so I can’t be sure. 
Shame.
Haha
So I decided to do what he told me to do before and just use my damn key. 
I mean�� it’s not breaking and entering right? And besides. He texted me. That… meant he wanted to see me right? At the very least even if he didn’t it was for his sake. Totally not at all because I was curious what he’s like when he’s drunk. 
Nope. Not a factor. Purely just wanted to make sure he was okay. Absolutely innocent. 
(You know that’s a lie. I REALLY wanted to see what he’s like when he’s drunk. But I DID also want to make sure he was okay. So really, win win. Or… True neutral in intent? IDK but I think they cancel each other out.)
So I very carefully opened the door and peered inside to find…. An empty apartment. 
The lights were off in the entry way, but I could see something down the hall and around the corner. Turns out that he was in the living room with a lamp and a bit of a mess. 
He’d knocked over the bottle of wine when I knocked. Apparently I startled him? And then when I knocked again… ???
I’m not sure. 
But he was somehow tangled in his own pant legs? They were comfy pants and a bit flowy and his foot got stuck in the other leg? I don’t know how it happened and clearly neither did he. And he’d toppled over and… apparently had given up. 
So clearly my coming over was the correct call. 
(Sorry Lan Zhan. I know you’ll never read this and never know but… this was just too precious to keep to myself. I promise I won’t embarrass you TOO much but there needs to be a documentation of your drunken hijinks. SangSang please don’t tell him. ;w;)
So about this point. I decided that instead of helping him, I was going to call out to you guys to ask for help.
I don’t know why? I was panicking. 
So I posted Help. 
And then went to untangle him. 
Managed to fix his pants (don’t think too hard about that one) and get him sitting properly. He just kinda blinked slowly at me and kept silent the entire time. ????
Like okay looking at his face you’d never know the guy was trashed. But the guy was TRASHED. 
I asked him how much he’d had and he just held up a finger. 
One.
One what??
A glass? A bottle? A keg?
I looked over at the jug that had tipped over and tried to gauge how much he’d had. I don’t know if the bottle had been full or not when he started. I don’t think I’d left any half-empty? But he may have shared with another guest? I wouldn’t have been surprised if he kept some on hand for SangSang too. Not just me. It’s good wine.
Well either way. With how much was now spilled on the table and floor, and how much was in the bottle… I’m guessing… he had no idea and was bullshitting me how much he’d had. 
So there’s that. 
He had enough alcohol for one drunk. Got it. 
Well didn’t matter. Either way he was sloshed. I suppose this is karma (I know that’s not how karma works) for when I got drunk off my ass in front of him before. Ah well. 
You know… speaking of karma…. Like what kind of fucked up karma do I have? Like I must have just been a DEMON in my previous life. What the fuck did I do? Massacre a ton of people? Raise the dead? FUCK. Well whatever I did. Thanks a lot past life me. You’re a DICK.
Anyway.
I went to get a cloth to mop up the mess. While I was wiping everything down he disappeared.
I posted on my blog again because I have shit priorities, and then went to find him. 
He was in the kitchen. After turning on every single light. His head was completely in the fridge. 
I called out to him, because what the fuck? And he stood up and blinked at me again. Except now he was holding a package of skinless chicken breast??? For some reason?????
Why did he even have that Probably was planning to make it for me the next day since that was our Saturdate. He doesn’t eat much meat so it wouldn’t make sense for him to have so much. 
But okay
Like
He just held it out to me and said my name. 
???????
Just.. standing in the kitchen with ALL the lights on with the fridge hanging open offering me skinless chicken breast in its neat little vacuum sealed packaging. 
So uh…  Like what do you do with that?
I asked him what he was doing and he just pushed the package at me, asking if it was good? 
I mean they looked fine. Lan Zhan always buys good stuff. And this stuff was clearly bought fresh and then wrapped up by himself. He’s got a vacuum sealer thing. So like it’s not even stuff from the grocery store? He probably got it from a humane butcher. Because he does his research on EVERYTHING. 
So like… yeah?? They were good? And I like chicken. 
So I just kinda nodded and said yeah they’re good. And so he pushed the meat at me again and said it was all for me? 
So um.. I don’t know if he was asking me to cook it? I asked him if he wanted me to cook it and he looked confused. 
And fair. I mean I was confused too. No one wants me to cook. Everyone always complains. They just don’t appreciate the culinary genius that is me. 
But Lan Zhan looked at me, then the chicken, and seemed to be in the deepest thought. 
“Let’s put this in the fridge and we can eat it tomorrow, yeah?” I suggested, trying to take the meat from him and edge to the fridge at the same time. 
Apparently this was incorrect as he yanked it away from me and started towards the stove?????
I got to him just in time to stop him from turning it on. 
Like okay Lan Zhan is an amazing chef. And he’s got a NICE kitchen. But the stove is a gas one. You know the one with open flame? And like 
THe man had just dumped have a container of Emperor’s Smile on himself???
Like fuck. So I think I screamed. 
Because Fuck. No. Lan Zhan was NOT going to cook for me while drunk off his ass. 
I remember lunging at him and like pulling all the knobs off of the stove so he couldn’t turn it on. He glared at me with this.. this …. POUT. omg it was adorable. 
But NOT adorable enough for me to give him back the stove knobs. He tried to grab them but I put them in my pocket.
And then he tried to grab them again which is danger zone no no for SO MANY REASONS ;asldkfjsa;lkfaslkfjsd;lkfjas;dkfj;lafkjk
So I took his hands 
And put on my best most adorable pleading expression and asked him to please let us have it tomorrow? Because I really wanted to eat it tomorrow. He stared at me again, binked, then slowly nodded and put the chicken… in the cupboard. 
So I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie or something instead. He didn’t answer (How is drunk Lan Zhan even more quiet than sober Lan Zhan? How is it possible?) but he didn’t like protest or anything. 
So I asked him if he wanted to pick something out and I’d come in in just a minute for him to surprise me with whatever he selected. 
He nodded at that. Mumbled something that sounded like “for Wei Ying.” or something and stumbled off. 
I took a moment to breathe and update the blog again before putting the chicken in the fridge. Contemplated hiding the knives and stove knobs somewhere where Lan Zhan couldn’t get to them, but that seemed a bit much. So I put the knobs back on and went to see what Lan Zhan was doing. 
He was….
Drinking….
More….
Again.
So I updated my blog again????? What the fuck is wrong with me?
Well I did stop him again.  I grabbed the bottle and just took it. Downed the whole jar so that he couldn’t have any more. 
Maybe not the best option? But I had eaten dinner for once and I’m actually not a lightweight. (That one time was a fluke. Like it seriously was) so it was fine. Not like I was driving home anyway.
And besides maybe it’d help me get on his level? IDK. It was stupid but then so am I. And it was just a shame to dump it all out so down the hatch it went. 
It was at this point that I realized that Lan Zhan was still wearing the clothes he’d spilled all over. I suggested he go change into something clean. He seemed to find logic in this and stumbled off to his room.
Did NOT shut the door but that’s okay. It was down the hall and I couldn’t really… SEE anything unless I went further into the hall myself. 
Tempting but I was a good boy and resisted. 
Thats when things got quiet… too quiet (see post I’d made about it being quiet). 
I went to go check on him to find that he was stripped to his boxers, with his pants around his ankles. He was looking in his closet, probably trying to find out what suit to wear???
But when I entered he stumbled back, slammed the door shut and toppled feet over head to the floor!!
Man he’s jumpy when he’s drunk. 
I helped him to rights and was actually so distracted that I didn’t realize that he was practically naked for like 2 whole seconds!!
(I’m pretty sure Lan Zhan isn’t a mortal, no matter what I said earlier in this very post about him being a human. No human being has the right to be that fucking cut??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
It is NOT fair. 
FUck. )
WELL being a responsible and reasonable adult (lol) I decided I would help this drunk toddler of a man get dressed. I dug through his pajama drawer and pulled out something soft and fluffy. Hoped that it’d be more appealing to him if it was super super comfy. Started to hand it to him, but then figured fuck it. Probably better to just do it myself. 
Managed to keep my eyes and hands to myself as I helped him. Very proud.
He let me do this without complaint. He was very good. He lifted his arms up when I told him to and his legs. Ended up putting my face WAY too close to his hips but I looked at the wall the entire time so it was fine.
Fine. It was fine. We’re fine. I’m fine. It’s fine. 
Fuck I’m a mess. 
Okay what happened next. He was good. Sat like a good boy. Got him dressed (thank you A-Yuan for giving me practice? Did not think this was a life skill i’d be needing now that you’re growing up and can do your own buttons but guess life likes to throw them curve balls. Either way. A-Yuan m’boy. I owe you a solid.)
(Also do NOT miss changing your diaper. Fuck) 
ANyway
NO TANGENTS. (that’s a lie. There will be more tangents. Whatever.)
SO Lan Zhan was dressed like a human again. Somehow even drunk of his ass he looks like some sort of adonis. Not fair.
Uh.
Oh yeah. I got up and was gonna step away and he grabbed me. 
Not like hard? But really firm. Grabbed my arm and said “no.”
No what? No to the pajamas? No to the bunny slippers? No????
I asked him what he was saying no to and he just said no again and pulled me closer. 
“Lan Zhan Lan Zhan” I chided, “You’re being unreasonable. I got you all dressed and you were being so good but now I try to get up and you say no and stop me? What are you wanting? Do you not like these pajamas? Do you want me to dress you in something else?”
I remembered him looking at the closet and decided to be a little shit. I was gonna pretend I was gonna grab one if his suits to dress him in that instead. (No way I was going through that effort. Just wanted to prove a point that the PJ’s were much more comfy.)”
“Alright. Why don’t we change into something else? I know you like wearing suits. Or well, /I/ like when you wear suits. So let’s go get one.”
He started to relax his grip and I got up again, but then 2 steps to the closet he seemed to panic and grabbed me again. 
He wrapped his arms around me from behind and sat back down on the bed with me mostly in his lap?????
Okay Trying to keep myself pure here. I’m a good boy. Who was not going to take advantage of my best friend while he was drunk off his ass.  Good boy. Think of ANYTHING else but being in his lap. 
And of course. THis meant. I had to run my mouth. 
“OH? So you DON’T want a suit? Well then you should just be happy in those pajamas. As nice as you look in a suit I think they’re much more comfortable. The pajamas that is. Unless you’d rather be naked. But that--”
Anddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
He covered my mouth. 
I tried to twist to look at him but he wouldn’t let me. 
I tried to protest against his hand but he wouldn’t let go. 
So I examined my options and decided the only course was to lick him.
So I did. 
Because I have had a brother and that always got me out when Jiang Cheng actually managed to pin me.
Worked like a charm this time too. Lan Zhan dropped me like I was made of fire. 
Maybe I should have been offended???? But I was too busy laughing. 
He stared at his hand in what had to be horror. I calmed down enough to offer to wipe it off for him but he just pulled it in to his chest protectively. 
“Oh come one. I’m not gonna lick it again! I said wipe it off! Clean it. Fuck I’ll wash ‘em with soap if you want. Dear goodness it’s not like I’ve got fucking cooties or something.”
He stared at his hand again and pouted, seemingly not sure what he wanted to do. 
I reached out gently again and he pulled away again.  Clearly not down for touching anymore. 
So I huffed and said fine. 
“You just go to bed or something then. I’ll leave you alone if you’re just gonna get all grumpy at me.”
So I started to leave. And he tried to grab me again???????????????????????????????????
Does he want to be touched or not? Or maybe he just wanted to do the touching now that I look back on it.
Well at the time I just kinda leapt out of the way and complained he wasn’t being fair changing his mind about what he wanted every 2 seconds. Quite unreasonable.
And somehow….
This ended with us chasing each other around the house??? 
Admittedly that part’s a bit of a blur. It started with him chasing me and then somehow we switched and I ended up chasing him?
Oh yeah. I think I thought he was going back to the kitchen or something and I panicked and tackled him onto the couch. That’s when I sat on him to keep him there and posted about it again while I caught my breath. 
He just let himself lay face down on the couch, his face pressed into the pillow completely. Both a blessing and a curse because I don’t know what I was thinking at the time. I dont’ know what I would have done if he’d pouted at me again. Licked him again?? But a curse because that meant all I had to focus on was how thicc his ass was. Like I was sitting on it. 
And it is a COMFY perch. Gotta say. Like fuck. This man is perfect in every way. 
NOT. THE. POINT.
KEEP MIND. AWAY FROM THAT. YOU DON’T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW. ESPECIALLY THINKING ABOUT THINGS THIS WAY WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO BE SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED AS HIM AGAIN TONIGHT. 
(DON’T @ ME WE JUST SHARE A BED. OKAY? IT MAKES US BOTH FEEL BETTER AND IT’S FINE. IT’S FINE. WE’RE FINE. I’M FINE. IT’S FINE. I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THAT MORE LATER BUT JUST.. IT’S FINE OKAY? IT’S FINE. TRUST ME. COMPLETELY NOTHING ROMANTIC ABOUT IT. IT’S OKAY TO CUDDLE YOUR BROS. I MEAN IT’S A BIT COMPLICATED SEEING AS I’M IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT WE BOTH AGREED THAT THE KISS MEANT NOTHING SO WE’RE FINE. 
FUCK.. okay I’ll get back to this in a minute because I made myself cry again. 
Hold on. 
Okay I’m back. And I’m actually fine now. Just a little bit of heartache. It flares up if I think about it so I just don’t think about it. 
So sometimes when it sneaks up on me like that it just causes a little bit of a panic. We’re fine though. It’s passed and we’re fine. 
Where was I? Where was I…. um… oh yeah. Sitting on that juicy ass--- um.. Sitting on Lan Zhan to keep him on the couch where it was safe and cushioned. 
It worked for a bit. But apparently only because he wanted it to. 
Somehow I forgot that the man can bench a fucking truck? So he just did a push up with me on his back while on the couch (Have you tried to do pushups on a cushioned surface? Please do not do this. Make sure you exercise on sturdy, solid surfaces or you will roll your wrists or something and I will not be held responsible for unsafe workout practices.)
SO Lan Zhan just pushed both of us up and I tumbled right off like I was made of fucking feathers. 
No idea what he was planning to do. 
At first he seemed worried about me because I tumbled. Which I think broke his train of thought away from what he’d originally planned? Or did he even have a plan to begin with? 
FUck who knows. Not me!
Well anyway
I had a bold stroke of genius. Because how does Lan Zhan get me to stay put?
So I told him to sit and wait because I had a surprise for him and that I’d be really sad if he didn’t do it. 
So he immediately assumed the lotus position and closed his eyes. Coulda been a fucking statue. 
I stared for a second but then remembered he was drunk as FUCK and I had no time. So I rushed off and grabbed Bichen and Suibian so I could dump ‘em in his lap. 
Fucking worked like a charm. Suibian didn’t stay too long because she always prefers my lap (aaaaaaaaaaaah my heart) but Bichen will always stay put when plopped on Lan Zhan’s lap. (I feel ya, li’l buddy. If I could get away with it I’d live there too).
Told him that he needed to be nice and calm for the bunnies and he nodded so seriously. He started to pet Bichen so carefully it was so sweet. The little bun flopped over right away. She loves her Lan Zhan so much. (Same)
Decided to try and get him to talk to me once he’d been quiet for a little while. I asked him what started all this anyway. 
At first he said that he wanted to learn to be more tolerant to alcohol so that he could drink with me
Which is so fucking sweet but does not explain why he went so hard into it. 
And I knew he’d seen his uncle earlier that day. So I pressed. 
I won’t tell you all that he told me. But yeah. Family is complicated man. 
But that part of the story.. That’s his story. I’m not sure if he even wants ME to know about it, so I’m definitely not telling you guys. Sorry. But please try to understand. 
We talked for a long while and eventually he ended up falling asleep. I very carefully moved the bunnies to their pen, then picked him up and carried him off to bed too. 
There’s something surreal about princess carrying Lan Zhan. Not gonna lie. 
I wasn’t willing to leave him alone in case he woke up again so I just climbed into bed with him. Wrapped him up in my arms to make sure I’d wake up if he tried to leave (hopefully).
But he slept through the night. 
It wasn’t until morning that he lurched out of bed and booked it to the bathroom. Poor guy.
I will never try to get him to drink again. With mornings that awful it’s just not worth it. Though admittedly he’d probably do okay if he just didn’t drink as MUCH as he did. Make I’ll get him a Mikes Hard? I know from talking to him since then that the wanting to be able to share a drink with me was genuine even if it wasn’t the only reason he was drinking. So maybe we can ease him into it. I mean Mikes hards are so weak that they may as well be virgin drinks so that should be safe? 
I’ll talk to him about it later. 
Anyway. I took care of him all morning and he was so miserable. (Even got to carry him again. He was so worn out he barely protested). 
I brought him back to bed with some aspirin and some water. I should have made him drink some the previous night but I guess with how crazy that night was maybe I can be forgiven for that at least. 
I gave him some kisses on his face because at that point it was our thing??? (Because… what were we??? Well now we’re back to just friends I think. After… after the kiss that meant nothing.)
Fuck.
Okay don’t think about it. We were… we were something… but now we’re just friends. And that’s just… how it is. Because i fucked up. Because of course I fucked up. 
I let him take a nap and watched something trashy on TV. Eventually he shlumped out of bed (as much as Lan Zhan ever schlumps which is not a lot) and crashed onto the couch next to me. 
We talked some more and he tried to apologize to me. I wasn’t gonna hear it. I got a bit of a more sober re-telling of the reason he was drinking and I did my part to listen. 
Despite how much I talk, I can actually listen if the occasion calls for it! Surprising, I know. 
We went to bed again eventually after watching more garbage TV together. 
And uh.. Yeah…
That’s the adventures of Drunk Lan Zhan. 
Sorry I know some of the details are probably wrong. It’s been a while and a lot happened. But yeah. That’s more or less it. 
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worldoflis ¡ 4 years ago
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nothing from the boss yet. I was up till three, tossing in my bed, fretting about it. everyone’s telling me to just call her but like- no? which is part anxiety and part it’s-her-fucking-job-goddammit stubborness, none of which are good reasons I suppose, but there you go. I do have a good message in my head now to send tonight if I still haven’t heard anything, so that’s something at least, but it’s still fucking annoying.
busy day ahead though, cause I actually have Assignments. my parents are coming over so Cleaning needs to happen. that has absolute priority so obviously that is not what I am going to do this morning :D
look I’ve spent weeks on TOs room and he’s moving today and I will make it happen even if I end up spending my evening mopping okay?!
I also just want to give the floor a second layer so it’s done
SO!
TSO room (tidy, change light fixture (it’s gonna be 5 minutes I PROMISE), see if I can cut the liners, change sheets, vacuum)
TO room (clear tools, move, furniture, change sheets, vacuum)
our room (tidy, change sheets, vacuum)
put laundry away
clean bathroom (it’s happening people!)
varnish floor
I want this done by 12. or like, 1. at the very latest. I need to pick up TSO at 3 and 2 hours is enough to tidy/vacuum/mop the living room/kitchen/hall. I think?
let’s just... aim for 12 :D. which is half an hour per task. which is... utterly unrealistic? probably?
okay I’m just gonna try to do as much as I can BEFORE 12, then do downstairs, then use any remaining time to finish upstairs if and when needed.
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dailyaudiobible ¡ 4 years ago
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06/04/2020 DAB Transcript
2 Samuel 22:1-23:23, Acts 2:1-47, Psalms 122:1-9, Proverbs 16:19-20
Today is the 4th day of June welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is great to be here with you today. You feeling moved into this new month yet? I’m trying to get there. I just keep thinking it's May, but it's not. It's the 4th day of June and it is a wonderful thing to be able to come around the Global campfire, day or night. No matter what time it is, it’s always burning, we’re never alone here. There's always somebody else here listening as well. In fact, lots of somebodies are always listening as well. We can never be alone at the Daily Audio Bible. Whenever where listening somebody else is too, always, whenever it is. So, yesterday we stepped into some new territory. We finished the Gospels day before yesterday, and we moved into the book of Acts yesterday. And we talked about that so we’re gonna continue that journey, but this is the journey…this is the story of what came next after Jesus resurrection. So, we will get to that soon enough. But first we’ll go into our Old Testament portion today, which leads us back into the book of second Samuel and the story of King David. And we really only have two or three days left in second Samuel. So, we’re making progress and we should be. We’re in the 6th month of the year so we should be making progress. And let's make some progress. Let’s take the next step forward. Second Samuel chapter 22 verse 1 through 23 verse 23.
Commentary:
Okay. So, let’s just kind of catch ourselves up to where we are in the stories that we’re moving through in the Scriptures. In second Samuel, obviously, we’ve…we've been kind of working to the story of David's life and his reign, while being able to observe pretty up close and personal his strengths and weaknesses. And we can kind of tell that the book of second Samuel is drawing to a close because it's kind of inserting all these different things, like these…that these are the last words, like the last songs of David. These are David's elite warriors. So, we’re kind of getting all these lists and closing down that story. We haven't got to it yet, but as a we’re reading the lists of the warriors and all the different things that they did we’re going to find the name in…in this list in the Bible of the elite warriors of David and that person's name is Uriah, Uriah the Hittite. This is the man that David had killed in battle so that he could cover up the fact that he had gotten Uriah's wife Bathsheba pregnant.
Then in the book of Acts today we see the coming of the Holy Spirit with the sound of a mighty wind, and what appears to be tongues of fire or flames of fire. And that famous, a very, very famous story, but this is actually the birth of the church as we know it. All of the people are speaking in these languages that foreigners who are in Jerusalem understand. Their confused about it and Peter steps forward to explain and he gives a message that we read today this kind of first almost evangelistic sermon. That’s probably not quite right, but Peter’s talking to the crowd and telling them about Jesus and their listening, because of the effects of the Holy Spirit, these languages that the people are hearing. And, so, Peter's unpacking the message of Jesus and his ministry and who he was and that he was killed and…and who he is. And this cuts them to the heart. And, so, they want to know what they're supposed to do. And, so, Peter explains, “all of you must turn to God and change the way you think and act, which is essentially to say, repent. Repent - change the way you think and act. That's what repentance is. “And each of you must be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins will be forgiven. Then you will receive the Holy Spirit as a gift.” So, this is all part of his message. According to the book of Acts, 3000 people, 3000 people were added to the followers of Jesus Christ that day. So, this is the flashpoint. This is sort of the birth of the church as we know it. And 3000 people, that's been an intriguing thing. Like where do you baptize 3000 people. And really the only candidate would be the temple, like would be where the ritual baths are large and lots of people are ritually cleansing themselves continually to go into the temple. And some of those Mikvah, some of those ritual baths, they still exist in the old city. So, this is the beginning of the church after Jesus ascended.
And we learned also from the book of Acts today just how they were living. They were living altogether kind of single-mindedly with purpose, caring for one another, meeting at each other's houses and sharing meals together. And according to the book of Acts, at this point there’s sort of this aura around these people. The way the Bible describes it is, “a feeling of fear came over everyone as amazing things and miraculous signs happened through the apostles.” So, there’s sort of this air of respect, curiosity, and this awareness that something mystical seems to be happening. Of course, as we continue our journey through the New Testament, we’ll find out that that's not how it stays. The church for sure goes through some really trying times but right here at the flashpoint we see that the people are gathering together, and every day new people are coming in.
Then in the Proverbs we are told, “whoever gives attention to the Lord's word prospers. And blessed is the person who trusts the Lord.” We have talked about Proverbs many times on our journey so far this year and we have understood that this is wisdom speaking to us. And in so many cases it's like what we learn is that wisdom isn't complicated, wisdom is simple. It's just hard to be aware and pay attention and have self-control enough to obey it. “But whoever gives attention to the Lord's word prospers. And blessed is the person who trusts the Lord.” May we live into that this very day.
And then in the book of Psalms today we were told to pray for the peace of Jerusalem.
Prayer:
Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for where it's leading us even as we are transitioning in the Old Testament and moving into the book of…the book of Acts in the New Testament. So, we’re kind of transitioning. And we thank You because we are constantly transitioning too. And we thank You that Your word in our lives each and everyday changes things. And we’re told today in the Psalms to pray for the peace of Jerusalem. So, Father we pray for the peace of Jerusalem. May those who love You prosper. May there be peace inside Your walls and prosperity in Your palaces. For the sake of my relatives and friends let me say, may it go well for You. For the sake of the house of the Lord our God, I will seek what is good for You. We pray these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Announcements:
dailyaudiobible.com is the website, it's a home base, its where the Global Campfire is, it's…it's our home as we are virtual all over the world. And, so, stay tuned and stay connected.
The Community section has a number of different links to where to get connected on social media. The Daily Audio Bible Shop is packed full of resources that are…they are there for the purpose…the purpose of accompanying us through the journey, whether that be journaling our way through the journey or just growing deeper because some of the resources that are there or just some of the fun things to wear and carry around. So, check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop.
If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible you can do that dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link and it is lives on the homepage and I thank you profoundly and humbly for your partnership. We wouldn't be here if…if we weren’t in this together. And that's a fact. And, so, thank you, thank you that we are. So, there's a link on the homepage. If you're using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.
And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, or you can dial 877-942-4253.
And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.
Community Prayer and Praise:
Hi I’m a first time caller my name is Galena and I want to pray for the young man who called who was in the dark place and his marriage was falling apart and his mother was on the deathbed. Lord I want to lift up this Young man to You and give them into Your hands. Would You comfort him Lord? Would You pour Your grace upon him? Would You give him strength to go through this season of his life Lord and help him see how much You love him Lord. Send him the Angels Lord all around him. Surround him Lord with Your heavenly angels and earthly angels to help them through this time Father, to pray for him, to listen to him, to give him love. And Lord remind him how much love he has so he will spend the days with his mother Lord feeling blessed and he will continue Lord growing in his knowledge of You.
Hi it’s Sherry from Kansas and I’m about to say something I’ll probably be embarrassed about later but I just want to tell you that I just finished mopping the kitchen and bathroom floors and I managed to dust and vacuum. And you don’t know what that means to me because I have not either physically or emotionally been able to do this for quite some time. And I know that whenever I accomplish something like this, like even just taking a shower is a huge thing for me then I give glory to God because I know that it is by His grace and His strength that I am able to accomplish anything, even such seemingly small things is doing a little cleaning. So, I just want to publicly right now thank God for all that He does and all that He gives and how He takes care of us even in the small things and that without Him…without Him there’s nothing worth accomplishing. Without Him there is there is no life, no breath, no…no joy, no nothing to be thankful for. So, thank You most gracious and loving heavenly Father for hearing our prayers and for giving us what we need of for each day, that we go from strength to strength by Your will and by Your love. Thank you, Father.
Aloha dad family this is Robin from Hawaii. Just as Kristi from Kentucky called in today talking about her heart being so burdened, mine too. Our country and our world’s still recovering from COVID and now we have such conflict in our United States due to man’s sinful heart. Oh God, forgive us. May the church be the light in the darkness. God may they know we are Christians by our love for one another and for all mankind. Lord help us as individuals to make an impact. And God equip our pastors and our leaders to guide us and bring about transformation in our country and in the world. God, I pray that you would anoint another Billy Graham, another Martin Luther King to speak to the hearts and minds of your people. God may your Spirit reign in the United States and in the whole world and may we see revival. In Jesus’ name I pray. Love you DABbers. Aloha Kaia Coua - God is love.
On this Pentecost Sunday, this is Stephanie Avery, a long-time listener from Rwanda days. I have a prayer for these troubling times here in the United States. Father God I come in Your son Jesus name asking You to forgive us of all our wicked ways. I pray, Holy Spirit just come afresh on us to break down the walls of fear, hate, and __ . Holy Spirit bring Your love, Your righteousness and Your justice. Let us who are believers speak boldly of You the son of the living God and the soon coming King. Jesus… Jesus You said that we will have trouble but take heart You have overcome the world and we are victorious in Jesus’ name. Shalom. Stephanie from North Carolina.
Good morning DAB family this is Laura from Georgia A.K.A. walking in the wilderness. Today is June the 1st and I want to say thank you to Abby who called in. Thank you for your empathy and thank you for your sympathy for black America. This journey is…is…hasn’t been easy for us and no matter how we protest, whether it be silently, whether it be calmly… and then when we don’t know what else to do unfortunately it erupts into heated…and violent at times. But we’re tired. We’re so tired. But I’m so thankful when I hear people like Abby who realize that it’s not the same for us as it is for you. Just thank you. And I know that God is bigger than any situation and that is who I’m drawing on. I’m raising two sons who are now adults and I had to teach them so many things, especially when they come across the police. And every day when they travel to a different place, I’m always saying I need to hear from you when you make it to your destination. So, thank you Abby and for all those who are praying and show empathy and sympathy and understand. And thank you DAB family. Blessings. Peace.
Today is June 1st and this is Julie from Texas and I wanted to read you guys something that I God has just shown me as of yesterday being Pentecost Sunday and I wrote this. It is never in my life have I ever had such a clear and burning desire to be the daughter, the child that You Father have called me to be flowing with Your authority and power that would allow me to do as Jesus did. Jesus You said now go and do the same. And that is exactly what I am going to do. The kingdom of God is here in and among us and in obedience and with the authority that You authorized. I will do as You did Jesus. You healed the sick, You raised the dead, You cast out demons and most of all You loved perfectly. You commanded it. So, it should be obvious obedience in which I follow Your order and share the good news of the kingdom of God. Have Your way in me, I’m ready.
Good morning today is June 1st and I am a first-time caller. This is Lady and I am a very recent Daily Audio Bible listener. First of all, I’ve been blessed but this morning I wanted to just call to say thank you Abby. You blessed me, literally brought me to tears because I felt your heart. And, so again I just want to say thank you.
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phandomgamesbutstupider ¡ 6 years ago
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Life Sucks
(team a, round 2, challenge 8)
(I’m so so so sorry, this one is worse)
Cleaning day was never a happy day nor one that Dan or Phil particularly enjoyed. You see, Dan and Phil had a system where the former convinces that latter to procrastinate housework until dust cakes every surface. There were probably better ways to take care of their house, but Dan doesn’t really care. Today, Dan was given the dreadful task of vacuuming the lounge, while Phil was in the next room mopping the kitchen floor. The vacuum obviously was just as enthusiastic about cleaning as Dan, though, because it was not functioning.
  At first, Dan didn’t realize that anything was wrong, he was running the vacuum over the same spot of the floor trying to pick up the same piece of lint. He worked on the same spot for nearly ten minutes, getting more and more frustrated.
  Dan was able to hear Phil whistling in the next room. At least someone is having fun today, Dan mused. He paused for a second when he realized something as wrong.
  “Bloody hell.” Dan muttered to himself, completely and utterly done with today. The vacuum wasn’t working, but the wand was just fine. Dan used the wand that was in his hand to suck up the piece of lint that had been giving him such a challenge. He figured he needed help so he decided to call upon his boyfriend.
  “Phil! It isn’t sucking very well!” Dan whined loudly into the next room.
  Phil popped his head in with an immensely helpful “That’s not what you said last night,” and a playful look dancing through his azure eyes. Dan shot him a less amused look, he was definitely not having it today.
  “The wand works just fine, but the vacuum itself isn’t doing it’s job very well!” Dan hovered his hand over the vacuum wand to prove his point, the suction pulling on his skin. It was a weird sensation, but Dan found it oddly pleasurable.
  “Is the brush roll on?” Phil asked.
  “Fucking hell, why is there even an option to turn off the brush roll? Who would want to turn of their brush roll?” Dan rants loudly to Phil who already seems to be focusing on his mopping job again. Phil laughs at his frustrated boyfriend.
  “It’s for people with hardwood floors,” Phil explained to the other man.
  “That’s what brooms are fucking for!”
  “Just try and have fun with cleaning, like I am,” Phil says before returning to his whistling. Dan keeps playing with the nozzle of the vacuum wand, watching his skin expand and try to enter the tube. Dan suddenly thinks about how easily he could fit his cock in it. Dan thinks a lot of strange thoughts like this but always chalks it up to be intrusive thoughts that are planted in his brain to make him uncomfortable.
  Strangely enough, though, this thought didn’t make him uncomfortable. It made him feel intrigued and fascinated, he didn’t know what would happen and that made the idea even more arousing. Dan still hears his boyfriend whistling in the other room and made a daring move to the crotch of his sweatpants.
The nozzle skimmed the inside of his thighs over his pants and made the sensitive skin tingle. Dan made a light noise, thankfully not one that could be heard over Phil’s whistling or the vacuum itself. The man started dragging the wand further towards his half-hard dick. The sensation was becoming intense. Dan started to daydream about Phil forcing Dan’s cock into the narrow opening, and mocking him for how easily it fits. These thoughts were rushing from Dan’s brain right to his dick.
  The wand nearly reaches his dick when the whistling stops.
  “Dan, if you wanted to try something new in bed, all you had to do was ask.”
  Dan blushed timidly and started to drag the tube off of him, whimpering at the loss of suction. He wasn’t prepared to be caught and he tried to go back to vacuuming the floor. Phil stands in the doorway staring at Dan, looking confused. Phil’s confusion quickly turned into an emotion that Dan couldn’t quite place, but the look gave Dan the same feelings that the vacuum did.
  “Baby, you don’t have to stop because of me, it’s kinda hot,” Phil took long strides across the floor and stopped in front of the brown haired boy. He snatched the vacuum from Dan and dropped all of it besides the wand. Phil yanked down the boy’s pants and boxers leaving Dan’s small, erect cock on display.
  Phil slowly continues to suck at Dan’s thighs with the tube, and Dan loudly cries out.
“Shut up!” Phil demanded. He yanked the vacuum from Dan’s thigh and clasped it over Dan’s lips. Dan tried to scream out in pain but is unable to. “Now will you be fucking quiet?” Dan nodded and Phil pulled the wand off his mouth, leaving his lips swollen and in pain.
  “Now let’s do something about that cock,” the blue-eyed boy slowly inserted Dan’s dick into the wand of the vacuum. Dan held in his moans as his dick was swiftly encased in the vacuum. “Awww, it’s so cute how easily that tiny cock fits into this narrow tube, now let’s crank it up a notch.”
  Without warning, Phil switched the vacuum onto high. Dan hears a slight tearing noise and cried out as Phil started to pull that wand backward. With a final scream, the vacuum was detached from Dan, as well as his penis. The man collapsed to the ground, spurting blood from where his dick formerly resided. Dan began to lose his vision, his blood was running out so rapidly that he was sure to pass out soon, possibly even die if not treated soon.
  “It’s not like you needed such a useless dick anyway”
  Phil smirked to himself and turned the vacuum back to low. He then moved the nozzle onto the floor next to the man’s body and began to suck up the blood, his own cock getting erect from the sight of his boyfriend bleeding out on the floor.
hey quick question what the FUCK i mean?? you did what you were supposed to? you just didn’t have to rip dan’s tiny cock off his body? 100 points i guess?? ‘
-brook
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twilight-resonance ¡ 3 years ago
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Cleaning
Been a while; been busy. Summary below.
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Summary: Said above, I’ve been busy. It’s felt a bit like laying the track just before the train the last few weeks - prepping setting day just in time to run it, only to spend the following week rushing to prep the actual FalAL event just in time to run it, and so on. This week’s been no exception. I’ve been subbing just about every day this week, which has left me no time to plan. I haven’t gotten the online league’s setup done at all - their intro day was supposed to be this weekend, but it’s looking like there’s no way I’m going to have anything done in time for that. To say nothing of, we need to spend that day grading anyway. I dunno. It just feels right now like no matter how much I get through, there’s still a mountain left to do. It’s a bit overwhelming. Been so many other things in between too - my aunt and uncle just moved into the area, so meeting them; a video call with Artkestral now that she’s settled in; Gloomhaven this weekend with Gorn and one of his friends; D&D has continued here and there, mostly there; and all the regular work of everyday life. Which brings me to today’s ramble topic.
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We’re going lighter this time. In preparing to have guests over - both Gloomhaven folks and possibly my aunt and uncle sometime soon - we’re needing to clean up at home. Granted, it needed it anyway - but guests help provide that nice kick in the ass to actually get it done. I mopped today; it needed it quite badly, and today’s the only day between now and then it was going to get done. Plenty else to get done too. This is less about cleaning right now than it is cleaning in general - so allow me to move on.
In a lot of ways, I really enjoy cleaning. A lot of cleaning tasks have a soothing, rhythmic quality to them that feels a bit like meditation in its own way. There’s plenty of unpleasantness about it too of course - sticky stuff, smells, dust and sneezing, etc - but overall it’s nice. It’s an easy physical task with visible progress and change and completion, which isn’t always the case with intellectual work; and it’s an easy escape when the intellectual work isn’t going well, or when you’re tired, where you can just let your mind wander and process all the things it doesn’t otherwise have time to; and of course there’s the feeling of the clean space itself afterwards. Things feeling lighter, more open, fresher. I often light a stick of incense either while I’m cleaning or after I’m done, and it’s a nice ritual and routine that’s its own pleasantness too.
That said, I don’t actually clean nearly as much as I ought. Mostly because I hunger for intellectual work and have a hard time putting that down. Mopping, for example, happens maybe once a year. Dishes pile up, counters get spot-cleaned instead of cleaned proper, etc etc etc. It’s just what it is. Partly I suspect that my sense of how often something “should” be cleaned is skewed because I grew up with a neat freak mother, but it also honestly could use it more often. Just for, like, sanitary purposes. To say nothing of comfort. 
It’s sort of funny - the chores ecosystem that develops over time. The chores that depend on one another, the ones that pile up in certain cycles or orders, etc. For example, cleaning counters happens before sweeping; because all the debris on the counter can get brushed onto the floor and then swept right up. That’s the most common cycle - dishes, counter, floor. But then sometimes the dishes can’t happen because the garbage has piled up; and I need to wait for Hearthsnail to be able to take it out (I’m too small. It’s not that it’s too heavy, it’s that the bags are too physically big for me - it took me ten minutes to lug it out one of the times I needed to do it myself). Or, cleaning the kitchen comes before cooking - because it drives me crazy trying to cook in a cluttered, gross space. Or the way that loads of bedding happen around the gaps in other loads of laundry, or the way that bathroom cleaning happens all at once because you might as well get all the gross over with at the same time, or the way that the kinds of clutter that need tidying changes with the seasons. The cleaning - especially the tidying - becomes in its own way a little journal of life the last few weeks, and a record of what you’ve done and what you’re doing. A bit like rock layers; more like layers of life.
So let’s see. Dishes and counters are mine; garbage and laundry are Hearthsnail’s. Both of us actively enjoy sweeping, so we tend to steal that from each other; and both of us deal with the garden and the general tidying. He usually vacuums, but it’s still a two-person job in order to move the table; and I take a lot of the leftover chores, mostly because he works more than I do at the moment. Cooking, we trade who’s doing it depending on what’s being cooked; we both have slightly different backgrounds so far as experience. Often we’ll sous chef for one another, but sometimes one of us’ll just take the whole thing. Especially if the other’s busy. It definitely took some time to settle out into a chores setup that worked for us, but we got there with time.
What we really need right now is more shelves. More shelves, and more storage space, and especially shelves that can hold boxes-as-storage-space. There’s a lot of loose items floating around without a home, or piled into bins because there’s nowhere else to put it. The other thing we need is an air purifier, because something in the house has been provoking my allergies for like a year now; and because it’d be useful certain times of year anyway. 
So that’s cleaning. I ought to get to bed now; will likely be a while before I’m back again given the busy, but we’ll see. Nice to ramble a bit while I’ve got time, before bed, before the busy picks up again.
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foreveratlas ¡ 3 years ago
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The Late Birthday
This post is a present for someone important to me. Though it is a little late, it’s a lot more effort than my usual Poem a Year tradition. Plus, it helped me unlock some of my writers block. Enjoy!
Loren
I had looked up at the analog clock posted over the door of the break room. It read 10:43pm. I was absolutely exhausted, which was only amplified by the reminders nagging me in the back of my head in regards to Elena’s birthday. I was panic-stressing, pacing the room around the four round tables; and despite her anxiety, and yet, still due for another hour of work. Due to recent shrink going on in the department, I was being forced to stay late.
This was creating within me, a sense of worry. Of course, I had wished Elena a Happy Birthday, promised to try to be home soon, but when the announcement was sprung earlier that day that everyone with any form of authority in the store would be staying over, all I could do was text Elena and groan loudly in the women’s restroom.  
I needed to make time move faster, and I needed to get home so I could prep everything. In the breakroom fridge sat a cheesecake, made fresh that day by the bakery; the best cherries that were available; and a package of precooked barbecue brisket (easily heated to temp in the microwave). But I was going to miss the entire day at this rate! I wasn’t going to be able to celebrate with my problematic favorite person until the next day, and I didn’t even know if our schedules aligned.  
I sighed loudly as my pacing continued.
A cough returned my aspiration. “Yeah, it’s horse shit they make us do this.” Mike, the manager of Produce and Snacks wiped his chin on a handkerchief. “It’s not like it’s gunna accomplish piss-all.” He was an amusing character with a big brushy mustache, and the gaunt composure of a cattle driver,  but he seemed wholesome. He never seemed to have a problem with myself or with Elena when she was still with the store.  
“Do they do this often? They claimed they found a lot of shrink in my department but--”  
“Horse shit,” he sneered again. “You just made it to supervisor, but what it is they just want the labor of the salary people to go over the shit because they don’t wanna pay the hourly kids.”  
Loren scoffed. “Wouldn’t it just be easier to have us direct them to do that during their normal shifts on top of their regular duties?”
“One would think, but this aint Rocket Science Academy. Smarter minds have come here to die.” I shuddered at the idea and looked away to see the clock switch to 10:50. As good a time as any to clock back in and get back out there.  
On the floor, the time was even more excruciatingly slow. I took every second I could spare to check my phone’s digital clock. And as the seconds ticked by, I began to wonder if I would even be able to beat the traffic and get home in time. This new stress was confounded even as my department’s manager came up and said, “We may need you to stay till one.”
“One?” I half screamed and cried at the same time, causing several other employees around them to stop their tasks and stare. “I was told eleven, and then 11:30. Why One now?”
“Corporate wants us to stay for an all nighter.”  
“Then I expect my compensation to be reflective of these hours. I may be salary but you are clearly overworking me.”
My boss quickly moved to shush me, waving his hands in the air, “You can’t say that!”
“Why not? I’m just stating a fact.”
“Because it could lead to a write up.” I gave my boss a face that made it very apparent that the prospect was very much not what I wanted. And partially, I didn’t believe him. I rarely believed any of the jargon that the company had the audacity to put out there. It was pretty obvious when we are treated with dignity and when something seems fishy. He recanted, “I don’t want you to get written up over something stupid. You know you can take the accrued additional time off on another day.”  
I made an emotional display and pouted vividly as he spoke and finally said, “But it’s my girlfriend’s birthday.” I did my best to show what should have been puppy dog eyes. But to honestly, in hindsight, I don’t know how to use my charms to seduce men.
Luckily, my boss sighed and said, “I’ll see what I can do. But for now, no promises. And if I tag you out, you are gone. No dawdling. No sticking around. You go.”
“I gotta get my stuff though,” I interjected.
“Then get it and go!”
I kept working as we had agreed and kept looking to my boss for some form of relief. And slowly 11:30 came. And went. And then 11:35. 11:40. 11:45. And finally at 11:49. My boss passed as I was in the process of counting belts (in obvious lackluster) and whispered, “Run now, Vale, you won’t get a second chance.”
I thrust my clipboard into my boss’s hands and sprinted past him, going full speed of almost thirteen miles an hour. I ran hard, letting my Sketcher-Relaxation loafers get torn up from the exertion. After rounding the first set of shelving that made up the aisle for the electronics, adjacent to my own department, I turned sharp left, sprinting as hard as I could. The breakroom doors were within my sight, just beyond the medicine and optometry departments. I turned at the pharmacy aisle one more time and went in a direct line to the door, hurdling over a cart filled with Tylenol products.  
I rammed my shoulder into the door, rushed into the breakroom and moved to the refrigerator that housed the food I had purchased earlier that day. I grabbed the bag and the cheesecake and turned on my heel, just as the District Manager stepped out of the restroom on the opposite wall. That’s when I froze, suddenly well aware that no one was suppose to be leaving earlier than one.
“Excuse me,” he said pointedly, his tone very firm. The district manager walked across the breakroom, smiled beneath his thick red beard and said, “Mm, is it someone’s birthday today?” He looked down to see the custom cheesecake in the white box.  
I nodded, “My girlfriend’s,” I offered almost shyly.
His eyes seemed to light up at that. “My husband loves cheesecake,” he announced, matter-of-factly. “Well, go, go celebrate. Don’t know why they’re making you all do this shit just because I’m here this week.”
“Wait, are you saying we don’t have to do this busy work?”
He shook his head. “It’s just burning hours, really. Corporate tells them not to do this but Stacy always demands this kind of thing when myself, the regional manager, or the V-P is in town.”
“That seems so superfluous.”
“Good word choice. Tell me more good words next time you’re on the clock,” He looked down to see my name, “Low-Ren. Oops, sorry, Loren.” He ushered me out the door at that, but it was too late. That exchange had brought the clock from 11:50 to 11:55. There was no way I could make it home in time. But, dammit I was going to die trying.  
Elena
When Loren woke up that morning and wished Me a happy birthday, I was confused for a moment, but pleasantly surprised. Truthfully, I hadn’t celebrated my birthday in years, probably not since before my mother left when I was still a teen. Because of such traumatic events that occurred after, I simply chose to avoid the very prospect of my birthday. I did my best to do anything other than celebrate, often avoiding the triggers as my therapist would say. But that didn’t always work, unfortunately. But at least I had Loren this year to help make the event a little more bright.
Though, a thought imbedded into my brain. Why should we be the only people celebrating? I smiled at the thought of hosting a small gathering and moved to look for my phone in the sheets of our bed. When I finally did discover it in its resting place between mattress and wall, I was dismayed to learn that I had no messages or greetings or social media posts wishing me a happy birthday. I frowned at the thought that everyone didn’t know, but I went ahead and decided to text Alison.  
Loren is throwing a birthday patty for me, she texted. Shit, Party*
A party you say? Alison replied. Happy Birthday! I didn’t even know it was today! A party sounds like fun.  
Did you forget lol? I don’t think it was going to be anythimg major. Dammit, anything*. I continued, But I wanted to invite as many people as possible to enjoy it with sus. Ughhh, us*.
Let me see what I can do to help, Allision responded. I’ll even let Gregor know. You just focus on making the place pretty.  
I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be an insult or a reminder that we lived in clutterfuck. A royal clutterfuck. I sighed at the thought, but she was right, the apartment was more than a stye and needed its fair share of TLC before it could be decent enough to host guests. So, I got up, got dressed, kissed Loren on the cheek as she passed in the hall between the bedroom and bathroom, and proceeded to do my morning routines.  
Long after Loren had left for work, I sat in our living room looking about the carnage of the living situation. When I had lived alone, this was hardly messy. Now take out containers and magazines were strewn about. Dishes were piled in the sink in the kitchen, and mail was accumulating on various surfaces. Coats, shirts, and pants found homes on the back of chairs; three bags of garbage had been left to sit by the door but never taken out; and I was all but positive that the air filter for the AC unit was caked to the point of no return.  
How did the apartment manage to get in such a state? I wondered as I took stock of everything that had gone wrong in our cohabitation. For the first time ever, I truly wasn’t even sure if we owned a vacuum between the both of us. Was there even a mop or a swiffer? How about a duster?  
“Start with what you can do, don’t worry about the other stuff until you get to them,” I said aloud and moved to the kitchen. Grabbing a trashbag, I set about the house, picking up various articles of trash and cleaning each room of their rubbish in a quick and painless manner. The trashbag was large, able to accommodate months of accumulation, and was even able to fit the garbage from their bathroom and bedroom. I set the bag outside, came back in and continued my home improvement journey.
Next on the list was dishes, which not only had a thin film of dust, but emitted a very cautionary smell. Thank the dear Lord we had a dishwasher! And with some sanitary gloves from our stash of fun stuff, I managed to rinse and load the dishes into the washer quickly enough. The apartment maintenance went by pretty quickly thankfully. Since I got on the right meds months prior, everything seemed like this was living life with Cheat Codes. Even when some emotional lows slipped through the cracks, I was luckily able to bounce back pretty quickly now.  
I had just replaced the air filter when there was a knock at the door. Before I could even get to it, Alison burst inside, hugging me tightly, “Oh, I thought you might need my help so I came over right after work, but it looks like you pretty much got a handle on it!”
I smiled sheepishly, “Yeah I didn’t know how bad it actually was. Sorry you had been subjugated to that in the past.” I looked off to the side sheepishly but either Alison intentionally didn’t notice or she did her best change the mood.  
“Oh no worries, now let’s talk party!” She ran back outside and returned shortly with several bags with the dollar store logo on them. Streamers, balloons, noise makers, and more filled them to the brim. We set to work blowing the balloons with the hand pump she brought and then I took the step ladder from the hall closet and began stapling the streamers around the apartment. Before long, the apartment looked like a birthday party dream for a teen. I wasn’t sure if the irony pleased me or made me question our motive. But Alison certainly was happy with the result. She was still pumping air into balloons when the first knock came.
Gregor and his roommates, Talia and Vox were the first people to show up. I greeted Talia and Gregor with tight hugs and then waved to Vox who wasn’t comfortable with physical touch in contrast to their roommates.
“Happy Birthday!” Gregor offered. “I had no idea!”
“I had totally forgotten myself,” I laughed.  
“Well with the whirlwind romance between you and Loren, I imagine forgetting your birthday is not the worst thing,” Talia noted.
Vox sipped their glass of water they took from the kitchen, “Where is Loren?”
“At work. To be honest, she remembered. It was so sweet of her. I bet she planned to do something small, so I wanted to do something big. We can do something between the two of us later when everyone leaves.”
Alison chortled and elbowed me playfully, “Ehh, ehh, something between the two of you, huh? Going to have a little bit of fun, eh? Going to wait till you’re alone, huh? Wink, wink; nudge, nudge; say no more!”
Vox spit their drink.  
Guests began to arrive steadily, and by the end of that first hour there must have been thirty people who knew Loren and myself piled into our home, chatting vibrantly, drinking from the cases of beer they brought. At one point Alison had Gregor and Vox bring out the cake they had been hiding in the back Gregor’s car around 10pm, and the entire party stopped and sang.  
But by that point I was miserable.
I had received the text from Loren earlier explaining that work was making her stay over. I knew it was bullshit from when I worked there. They made us do it all the time when the district manager or the regional manager were in town. It was just busy work designed to make us feel like we were grunts and show to corporate that we had the hardest working people in the district. Really, it was all for show. But knowing that fact didn’t stop me from being absolutely beside myself with depression as it slipped through the cracks of my medicine induced armor.  
“You ok?” Alison said as she handed me a piece of cake.  
I sighed. Somewhere, someone turned off the music and in that moment I realized that the chatter and the jubilance came to a gentle quiet and people began to ask if I was ok. “You know,” I finally offered, “The majority of you knew me as a complete monster but now? Now you all are here, with me, celebrating today. I shouldn’t be sad, but I am.”
Talia sang, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to,” and there was a light chuckle. I explained that Elena had to work and there was a quiet acknowledgement.  
“This has to do with Loren not being here because of work, right?” Alison asked. I nodded.
Then Vox spoke up, “Hey uhm, I know we’ve only been friends on social media for so long but, I think it’s important to tell you that though it’s late, you still will be able to celebrate with her.”  
I looked up, “Well yeah, but I just wish she could be here right now. I don’t think she will make it home in time for the actual date.”
Vox smiled, “Well, that’s not quite what I mean but, here take a look at this. . .”
Loren
I stepped through the door of our apartment at 12:15 am, holding the cheesecake in one hand, and the bag of groceries in the other. Elena sat on the couch alone and I realized there were party streamers and balloons all over the apartment, and the trash we had managed to collect on various surfaces was all gone.  
“Baby I am so sorry,” I cried as I sat the stuff down on the coffee table in front of her.
“Hun, it’s ok it’s not that big of a deal,” Elena responded, more comforting me than anything else.  
“Work was a nightmare, it was all a racket.”
“I could have told you that.”
“Why didn’t you warn me about these fake audits they do to try to impress corporate.”
“I honestly totally forgot about it. But they don’t usually spring it on you unless the big-wig is there already.”
“He was, but that’s besides the point.” I sat down next to her and opened the cheesecake container. Elena smiled widely.
“My favorite,” she cooed as she reached toward it.  
“Let me get some forks, hun--” a knock at the door.  
“It’s literally after midnight, who could that be?” Elena asked with a smile. Instead of going to the kitchen I went to the door, which was then nearly kicked open by Alison, and in came behind her was Gregor, his roommates, and about 30 other people, filling out our apartment to the brim.  
I started laughing, “What is all this?”
Elena stood up and scooped a tiny bit of cheesecake with her forefinger, she moved carefully around the guests and wiped the cream-cheese on my nose. “Guess what babe, you didn’t miss it.”  
“Happy Birthday, Elena!” Everyone said almost simultaneously, and then with Gregor’s boisterous voice, were led into song. “Happy birthday to you--”
I stood there dumbfounded until Elena said, “Babe, you weren’t late. You were a day early!,” She laughed as the song continued.  
“Well then,” I responded. “Happy birthday, dear Elena. Happy birthday to you,” I sang with the close of the song, ending my vocal talents by kissing my girlfriend on the lips. She smiled into my mouth and returned the kiss, wrapping her arms tight around me, The cream cheese smudged between our faces, and around us people cheered and the sounds of a party ensued. But in that moment, I was lost in the focus of Elena’s lips and the surrealness of where I was in that moment, celebrating the birthday of my favorite person.
Though, this may be super late, happy birthday to my best friend; my favorite person.  
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kafeuka ¡ 4 years ago
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[1/1] similar names and coffee breath
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Taehyung really, really, really hate coffee. Obviously it was the barista that made him keep coming back for more.
(alternatively: Taehyung can't function when Yoongi's around) read on AO3
i. americano It was not Taehyung’s intention to order the most disgusting thing in the menu. He could only blame it on the atrociously adorable barista behind the counter. How dare he look all cute and pretty so early in the goddamn morning. How dare he look so disgustingly adorable and stole all Taehyung’s focus away. Taehyung was already late to class and yet, his feet made their way to a cafè rather than college. It was astonishing how all the alarms he had set on his phone were not able to wake him from his slumber. He had been eyeing the new cafè for a while, excited that there was finally a cafè just right around the corner. It was wedged between the flower shop and bookstore, its brick wall design stood out amongst the plain-coloured walls of the other stores. He would have walked past it, but the strong aroma of chocolate lured him in and before he knew it, he found himself standing inside the cafè. On his left side, the walls were painted with chalkboard paint, and there was a small basket hung on the corner, filled with white chalks. The writings on the wall varied; mostly there were quotes, but Taehyung’s favourite had to be the drawing of doraemon. The opposite side, however, the brown-coloured wall was filled with vintage framed photos, which reminded Taehyung of his grandmother’s house — comfortable and cosy. He was three people away from his turn when his phone vibrated. Even before he checked, he already knew that it was Jeongguk. With a sigh, he answered. “Hello?” “Oh, good, you’re awake.” “Dude, you’re supposed to wake me up half an hour ago. I didn’t even get to put on sunscreen, for fuck’s sake.” “Sorry.” At least he had the decency to pretend to sound bashful. “Are you still on your way here? And why did I hear Troye Sivan? Where are you?” “I’m at the new cafè I told you about—” “Cafè? You’re already forty minutes late—” “I can’t help it, okay.” Taehyung moved forward. Only two more people to go. “You know how weak I am for chocolate... and I feel like treating myself today!” “Get me one too! I’d like it cold, please. Thank you, hyung.” “You brat— what makes you think I’d get it for you?” “I said hyung, that should be enough. I have to go now, I’ll be at the student lounge, waiting for my chocolate drink! Bye, Tae!” “Son of a—” Taehyung pulled the phone away from his ear before staring incredulously at his phone screen after Jeongguk hung up abruptly. “What a brat,” Taehyung muttered, shoving his phone into the pocket of his coat. When it was his turn, he did not expect his eyes to be blessed by such a heavenly being dressed in a white button up, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, topped with a black apron. Taehyung was aware how dumb he must have probably looked right now: mouth slightly open, eyes wide and back slouched. “Welcome to A Cup of Joy. What can I get you today?” His voice was a bit raspy, sounding as if he had just woken from a nap and Taehyung had never listened to anything sexier. 50 Shades of Grey, who? Taehyung was not one to stutter, but man did this guy’s beauty stunned him. How was it possible to wear such dull apron and still look so good? “Sir...?” He jolted at the voice that shook him out of his daydream. Sexy had an eyebrow raised, one hand holding onto a sharpie marker while the other was ready to grab a cup. Up until now, Taehyung did not know the reason for his sudden outburst. “Americano! Two americano!” After a while, he swallowed and added with a whisper, “... please.” “O...kay. Which size would you like?” “Medium?” He winced at how his answer sounded more like a question. Can he embarrass himself even more after this? Of course, he can. While he was narrowing his eyes, trying to read the name on the small nametag on Sexy’s chest, Sexy was scrawling Taehyung’s order on the cups. God, Taehyung exasperatedly thought, he would love to have a lengthy chat with the idiot who created such small nametags. “Your name, Sir?” What the heck was that? Yeonhee? Yoonri? Yonki? “Sir?” For the second time in a span of less than five minutes, Taehyung felt as if he was slapped to be brought back to Earth. Sexy had his eyebrow raised again, his almond eyes staring at Taehyung with curiosity. “Ah, Yoongi,” Taehyung blurted out, almost smiling when he could finally get the name right. It was not his intention to suddenly call out his name like that, but man it was such a relief that Taehyung was able to read the letters on that cursed nametag. Though, it took him a few seconds later to realise what his big mouth had done when his brain chose to replay the word he had accidentally uttered aloud. He saw Yoongi’s eyes widened, before they formed half-moons and his cherry lips stretched into a grin, showcasing his adorable, small teeth. Yoongi chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he scribbled Taehyung’s name on the cups. “We share the same name,” Yoongi grinned. “What are the odds?” Taehyung let out a weak, nervous laughter. “Haha... yeah.” It was only their first meeting and Taehyung was already lying to the man. It was not like him to embarrass himself in front of stranger, much less become a mess. There was only one explanation for this unnatural event: witchcraft. This Yoongi guy definitely knew magic. (Or, Yoongi was extremely attractive and most definitely was Taehyung’s type) (They barely interacted, but Yoongi’s voice was absolutely Taehyung’s type) (And also his face. God, his cute, cute face) (Or maybe, Taehyung was just unable to control himself in front of attractive strangers) Taehyung swallowed before opening his mouth to speak, to explain to the barista that it was a misunderstanding but only to abruptly clamp his lips shut when Yoongi gave him a small-but-capable-of-stopping-hearts smile. “I’ll call our name out when your orders done.” God, Taehyung prayed, have mercy on my weak, weak heart. (When Taehyung took a sip of the americano, he had pulled away so fast that his head spun. Without even thinking twice, he threw it into the nearest bin, wondering why on earth would anybody willingly consume such monstrosity. If sin had a taste, that would be it. Though, he did enjoy the painful expression on Jeongguk’s face when the boy drank the coffee.) ii. cold foam iced espresso Taehyung’s second visit to the cafè was on a Sunday afternoon. He had an essay due tomorrow and as per usual, despite the two weeks duration he was given to complete it, he decided to fuck around, wait until the last minute and stress over it at midnight. Thankfully, he had done his research and reading beforehand, so all he needed was a quiet area to work at and the right headspace to open his microsoft word to write. He was sat on the floor of the living room, finally ready to write the Best Last Minute Essay to Ever Be Written after preparing for half an hour. (By preparing, he meant having the sudden urge to whip out the vacuum and clean the entire floor before mopping the tiles. When that was done, he proceeded to spray the living room with his current favourite scent— Ocean Escape) His laptop made a sound indicating it was starting up. Cracking his neck, he was determined to finish the essay when— “Babe, that tickles!” Taehyung frowned. “Taehyung’s outside, he’ll hear us!” “I have that ball gag, remember? Just in case you change your mind—” “Okay, that’s it,” Taehyung groaned, eyebrows furrowing as he scooped his items and brought them close to his chest. “I am LEAVING,” he purposely said it aloud with his lower lip jutting, stomping his feet petulantly with every step he took. He ran back to his apartment a few seconds after, cursing himself for forgetting to lock the door in his room before scrambling back to leave. And that was how he found himself staring at a pair of beautiful, feline eyes. He berated himself for entering the cafè after making a promise with himself to never step foot inside of it ever again. He did not want to be a regular with the fake name. His only chance to not humiliate himself was to enter the cafè on Yoongi’s day off. He should have known that luck was never really on his side when he saw Yoongi the moment he opened the door. Taehyung had spotted rows of pastries on display, the smell of freshly baked croissants tempting him to stay. There was not a line at the counter, and there were at least three people behind it whom Taehyung surmised was making the customers’ orders, which made Taehyung hope that at least one of them would serve him instead of Yoongi. Taehyung fought the urge to let out an inhuman scream when it was Yoongi who turned around and gave him a smile. “Hey, Yoongi.” “Aha, yeah.” Taehyung rubbed the back of his neck, almost forgetting that his name was also Yoongi in this cafè. “What can I get you today?” “Well, um...” he moved closer to inspect the menu. A croissant was most definitely in the list, maybe he’d take a slice of hazelnut chocolate cake too. But as for a drink... “May I recommend something for you today?” “Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, sure.” With his sharpie, Yoongi pointed on a name of a beverage on the laminated menu. “I’d suggest a cold foam espresso for this warm day. It’s my favourite. I see that you have your laptop and a file with you. I reckon you’ll be staying, yeah?” “Yeah. Yeah, I am.” Taehyung loved hearing him talk. He could not put his finger on it, but there was just something in the way he drawled, how the words just roll so effortlessly on his tongue, yet he spoke rather eloquently. He still had that morning sexy voice going on though, so that was a bonus. “So, what do you say to that?” And how can Taehyung said no to Yoongi? Once his drink arrived, it did not look so bad. In fact, it looked mouth-watering. Especially the frothy, creamy foam. Yoongi had specially delivered Taehyung’s orders to his table, placing each item carefully with just one hand. “Enjoy. And good luck with your assignment,” Yoongi smiled. Taehyung’s heart skipped a beat, a flush making its way to his cheeks. Little did Yoongi know, he was not only serving Taehyung pastries, but also his smile. (And fuck, only God knows how much Taehyung wanted to chuck the stupid drink out of the window. How can something that look so good taste so crappy? He stirred everything together, the blended beverage turned from black and white to form a beautiful beige colour and though it tasted a little less bitter than before, he still hated it and would much rather wash his tongue with a rock than took another sip. But Yoongi was right there, and whenever he stole glances at Yoongi, the guy seemed to caught him doing so and always responded in the same way; a nod and a small smile. Every single time he saw that smile, he plucked up his courage to take another sip and every single time he did, he died a little more on the inside. This led him to getting a few more pastries and an overpriced bottle of water to get rid of the horrible taste. The good thing was that he managed to finish his essay in two hours time, motivated to leave the cafè so he had a reason why his drink was left half empty. Of course, he ended up finishing the whole cursed thing. He had to refrain himself from gagging when he was done. He was more relief to see the glass empty than seeing his essay completed. But boy oh boy was he glad he did it. Yoongi was the one who approached him when he was packing up, still wearing that shy small smile on his face when he picked up the glass and plates. “I’m glad you loved it,” he said. “It’s great, Yoongi,” Taehyung lied, hoping his smile would be able to conceal the pain he was feeling inside. “Have you finished your essay?” “Yes, I have. It’s all thanks to you and the... uh, whatever that drink was.” At least this one was not a lie. Yoongi’s gaze shifted on the tray he was holding as Taehyung saw red spots were flaring on his cheeks. Taehyung was certain the sight in front of him was making him blush too. ‘Fuck!’ Taehyung screamed inside his head. ‘Why am I so weak?’ “I’m gonna...” Yoongi motioned to his tray. “Oh, yeah, yeah!” “See you soon... I hope?” Taehyung could not contain the excitement that was crawling under his skin, giddy to hear those words coming out of Yoongi’s mouth. He hoped he did not look overexcited when he frivolously nodded. Yoongi mirrored his action, although his was just a curt nod, before returning to his work station. When he left, however, he only had one thought in his head: “ah, fuck.”) iii. macchiato caramel At this point, Taehyung should have known that he was not fond of coffee. He hated the bitter taste, how it felt as if his tongue was burnt and how it effortlessly made him pull a hideous face. Plus, consuming a cup of coffee can fuck up his sleeping schedule and he hated missing a good sleep. Yet, when he arrived at A Cup of Joy, promising himself to get only a pastry or two, his knees wobbled slightly at the sight of Yoongi. At a certain angle when the sunlight hit, Taehyung noticed the barista’s hair was now a darker shade of brown rather than jet black. It was not a busy day, there was not a queue though there were some customers already seated at the tables. Shoving his fists inside the pocket of his jacket, Taehyung made his way to the counter, repeatedly rehearsing his order in his head. Yoongi greeted him with a smile, one that made the angels sing a new symphony and devils blinded by his beauty. “Hiya. Fancy seeing you here again,” Yoongi grinned, already taking the medium-sized cup— a sign that he remembered Taehyung’s usual order. Taehyung was a Large guy, he always went for large, but he was not going to gulp down large-sized coffee. “Fancy seeing you too,” Taehyung beamed. “I suppose you’d like to try anything new today? We’ve got something new brewing in the kitchen, my special recipe, but they’re not on the board yet,” Yoongi explained, not meeting Taehyung’s eyes when the pink hue were visible on his cheeks. A part of Taehyung was ready to break up the promise he made with himself, but Taehyung had a superb control over himself. He opened his lips to speak, but when Yoongi spoke again, he found himself swallowing. “I can make it for you if you’d like. Promise it’s sweet,” Yoongi added, his eyes were softening. “YOU’RE the SWEET one here!” Taehyung wanted to yell, but he settled with a nod instead, already welcoming the possibility of not sleeping until the sun rise. However, he did not regret his decision at all because it made Yoongi’s eyes sparkled and his lips curved into a smile that showcased his gums and small teeth and god, Taehyung had to bite his lower lip to prevent himself from screeching. He wanted to bang his head against the marble countertop and sobbed about how adorable Yoongi was being. Somehow, amidst his brain went into chaos mode, he managed to order a bagel and a chocolate muffin while keeping his voice stable. He purposely chose a seat that was facing the glass window so Yoongi would not be able to see the face he made when he drank Satan’s Piss. It was not his intention to stay, but he might as well as he had just purchased a book from the bookstores a few streets away. He was on the eleventh page when Yoongi arrived, carrying a tray of his pastries and drink to his table. Taehyung placed an index finger in between the pages before he closed them to look up at Yoongi to thank him. Yoongi’s movement were swift yet careful as he placed them one by one. “Oh! Are you reading Good Omens?” “Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. Have you read it before?” Yoongi nodded, bringing the brown tray close to him. “One of my favourites, actually. You’ll love it.” Taehyung grinned. “I already do.” “Happy reading, then. And, um, enjoy your food, Yoongi.” Ah, shit. Taehyung had nearly forgotten that they ‘shared’ the same name here. “Thanks, Yoongi,” Taehyung replied, silently praying that his smile did not come off as pained. As for the drink, it was served in a tall glass, milk on the bottom topped with coffee of a beautiful brown colour that matched Taehyung’s coat. There were drizzles of caramel on top that had dripped down the glass. Taehyung wiped it with his index finger in an upward motion before bringing it to his lips. The caramel was not as sweet as Taehyung anticipated, but it tasted just right. He stirred the beverage, muttering a prayer underneath his breath for strength. “Oh,” he muttered after he took a sip. It was not bad at all. He assumed it was the milk; seeing that there was more milk than the brown thingy he surmised was coffee. He did taste a bit of coffee, but the taste of milk and caramel must have overpowered it for the drink to be this bearable. Taehyung did not hate it at all, in fact he actually enjoyed it. Without realizing, he was already finished reading one quarter of the book when the glass was empty. Just as he turned to the next page, Yoongi approached him again, surprising him with his sudden presence. “How was it?” Yoongi asked, his hands grabbing the empty plates to place them on the tray before he took out the towel from his back pocket. “Not bad at all,” Taehyung answered, making a mental note of the number of page he had stopped reading. He turned his body towards Yoongi, an arm resting on the table while the other on top of the chair. “It is sweet.” ‘Just like you,’ Taehyung added in his head. “Too sweet?” “Just-right-sweet.” “Do you like it?” Yoongi stopped what he was doing to look at Taehyung, anticipating the curly-haired man’s answer. Taehyung’s lips tugged into a small smile, his heart swelling when he spotted the pink on Yoongi’s cheeks. “I do,” he genuinely said, probably the only thing he had said to Yoongi that was not a lie. He saw the way Yoongi’s lips curved into a smile so big his gums were visible, and the sight nearly made Taehyung’s heart jump out of his chest at how effortlessly pretty Yoongi was being. “I’ll make you something else someday. I know you’d love it too.” “Promise?” “Promise.” iv. iced white chocolate mocha On Taehyung’s next visit, it was a bit crowded. Waiting for his turn while queuing, he counted the available seats in his head and bit his lower lip when he saw that there were only four seats available. He contemplated in staying seeing that he had left his work at home and his phone was on low battery— all signs pointing to No, He Should Not Stay. Besides, there was only one reason why he should stay and the Reason was behind the counter, taking orders from a hipster with a thick beige scarf wrapped around his neck. Sighing, he texted Jeongguk to come over to the cafè to bring him notes he’d left on his table. Five minutes later, there was only one person left before it was Taehyung’s turn when all of a sudden he heard his name being called loudly from behind. “Taehyung? Taehyung hyung!” Taehyung blinked, his eyes looking up to see Yoongi had a confusion look on his face as his gaze was at, Taehyung assumed, the source of the voice. It finally dawned to Taehyung that Yoongi did not know his real name and that he was lying the entire name, and at the thought of Yoongi never speaking to him ever again made him swallow. Slowly, he turned towards the familiar voice to find Jeongguk already making his way towards him, his hand carrying his blue file. Shit, Taehyung thought. “Next, please.” Taehyung moved forward, lower lip bitten by his front teeth. Yoongi’s lips were pressed in a straight line, eyebrows arching. Jeongguk put a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder before thrusting the file to him. “Here ya go, hyung. You better treat me to something tasty for making me run here!” “Er...” “Taehyung, is it?” Yoongi asked, not an ounce of anger in his voice. “Yeah.” Taehyung weakly huffed, his fingers were clumsy under Yoongi’s questioning stare that he nearly dropped his file. “Whatever he’s having, make it two,” Jeongguk grinned, cheekily holding up his index and middle fingers to show the number two. “I, well, uh—” “Hyung, I’ll go sit first, yeah?” When Jeongguk left, Taehyung could only tap his finger against the counter, his eyes glued to the menu on top of it although he practically had memorised everything at this point. There was an awkward silence between them that was suffocating Taehyung. If a piano were to fall from the sky and crush Taehyung, it would still hurt less than having to be in this situation. Damn him and his big mouth. Thankfully, it was Yoongi who broke the silence. “Uh... so... why don’t you take a seat and I’ll get you the thing I promised?” “Yeah.” Taehyung swallowed, his hand making its way to rub on his nape. He almost forgot that Yoongi made him a promise. How could Yoongi still remember something like that? Wasn’t he supposed to be angry that Taehyung lied? “So... should I address this to Taehyung or Yoongi?” There was a lilt in his voice, no malicious intent present, only a small smile playing on his lips. Relief washed over Taehyung and he found himself leaning forward, one hand on the counter for support as he let out a chuckle. “Taehyung. To Taehyung, please.” “Okay, Taehyung. I’ll get you your drinks in a bit yeah. Two, right?” “Yep.” “God... what the fuck is wrong with you?” Jeongguk glared at Taehyung, reeling his head back with a look of disgust present on his face. Taehyung was a tad bit offended, but really, it was his fault so he understood what it must have looked like to Jeongguk. He himself did not understand why he did not correct Yoongi the first time. “Have you seen how cute he was?” Taehyung whispered, leaning forward towards Jeongguk. “It’s like my brain suddenly becomes a mush around him, I hate it.” “You have a crush on him, huh.” Jeongguk had his shit-eating grin on his face as he leaned back against his chair and crossed his arms. Taehyung rolled his eyes, as if that was not obvious enough. Initially, he did not want to tell Jeongguk at first, but he could no longer keep this secret by himself that his heart threatened to burst if he did not let it out. “I can’t believe you let him believe you guys shared the same name. You’re a monster.” “Oi.” “Hey,” Yoongi murmured, appearing by their side with their drinks. Taehyung abruptly straightened up in his seat, trying to contain the grin that was attempting to take over his face. “Two iced white chocolate mocha,” Yoongi stated as he placed the beverages in front of Taehyung and Jeongguk. “Mocha?” Jeongguk questioned. “Is that some type of coffee? But hyung, you don’t—“ “AND thank you, Yoongi,” Taehyung interjected, his foot kicking Jeongguk’s shin underneath the table. “Ow!” Jeongguk yelped, his sudden movement made the table rattle. Good thing Taehyung’s fast reflex stopped the glasses from toppling. “Oh?” Yoongi raised an eyebrow at Taehyung. “We’ll drink it deliciously. Thank you,” Taehyung smiled. “Well then. Enjoy your drinks.” (Taehyung did not dare to look at anywhere else but Jeongguk’s face the whole time he was there. The drink was marvellous, and Taehyung especially loved the whipped cream. He would usually try to grab Yoongi’s attention and made eye contact before he leave, but he was too embarrassed to do so. Jeongguk, on the other hand, tried to humiliate Taehyung even further by waving vigorously at Yoongi, at which, Yoongi waved back uncertainly with a baffled look on his face. Taehyung had to practically drag Jeongguk out of the cafè, his face was redder than the ‘open’ sign at the door as he tried his hardest to not glance at Yoongi’s direction.) v. strawberry milkshake Taehyung avoided going to the cafè for weeks. He had a few tests to sit for, and he still had not overcome the humiliation of getting caught lying to Yoongi. He should have apologised properly, but he could not bring himself to step a foot inside the cafè. When he finally did, it was nearly closing time on a Thursday. They met at the entrance, Yoongi on the other side of the glass door, fingers holding the opening sign, ready to switch it over while Taehyung was still on the outside, wide eyes staring back at Yoongi. Yoongi’s hair was a lighter shade of brown now and he was still wearing the apron. Taehyung did not realise that there was another person besides Yoongi in the cafè until Yoongi called out her name, giving her permission to go back to the kitchen but his eyes were never leaving Taehyung’s face. The staring contest went on for another ten seconds, with Taehyung the first one to blink, before Yoongi flipped over the sign so it now read ‘closed’. He opened the door, not bothering to hide the surprise on his face. Taehyung let out a breathless, “Hi,” sounding as if he had just ran a marathon. “Hi,” Yoongi replied back. “What are you—” “I’m sorry I lied,” Taehyung murmured. “It wasn’t my intention to, but you made me so nervous. I knew I should have corrected myself the first time. It was wrong of me to let it go on.” “Oh.” “And I hate coffee. I really do. Americano? Worst thing my tongue had ever tasted. Never again. I’d rather cut off my tongue than to ever taste one drop of hell. The espresso? Hate that too. The macchiato caramel was good though, tolerable and sweet. I could barely taste the coffee and the white chocolate mocha? That one was good too.” Taehyung was rambling with his hands doing random motions, something he did when he got nervous. Yoongi only watched him as he spoke, one hand still holding the door handle. When Taehyung was done, he had to take a deep breath before adding, “And I understand if you never want to see me again. I’m a terrible person.” Yoongi blinked twice before letting out a guffaw, his heart soaring. “Taehyung, I know you hate coffee. It shows when you had that espresso. It was why I gave you something sweeter the next time you visited,” Yoongi explained, his eyes forming crescents and Taehyung thought the moon must be envious that it would never be as beautiful as Yoongi. Taehyung’s face felt warmer when Yoongi revealed that he knew all along. “Oh, okay.” “But why do I make you so nervous? Was it my face? I was often told that I look intimidating. This is the first time someone tells me straight to my face, though.” “No, you are very cute, that’s why—” “Oh.” “I mean- I mean—” “Wow, okay, thank you, I don’t think—” “Are you kidding? You are so pretty— wait, what am I—” “P-pretty?” Both of them had to turn away from each other, flustered by what the other was saying as the pink hues appearing on their cheeks only become more darker as time passed by. “Would you—“ Yoongi cleared his throat, opening the door a little wider before repeating, voice much clearer this time, “Would you like to come in?” “But it’s closing time.” “I won’t tell the boss if you won’t.” Taehyung was sweating. Very, very terribly. Maybe it was because the air conditioner was turned off due to cleaning and Yoongi just switched it on when Taehyung stepped inside. Or maybe it was because of the fact that in this empty cafe, there was only him and the guy whose lately had been residing in his mind. He fiddled with his fingers, often turning around to watch people passing outside, the red ‘open’ sign on the window was facing him and no matter how much he wanted to stop feeling nervous, he could not help tapping his foot on the floor. He glanced at Yoongi’s backside, even without seeing his (cute, adorable, pretty) face, Taehyung could tell how concentrated he was when making the beverages. His movements were swift, hands reaching out to the items without having his head to look up, probably had a map in his head that showed where all the stuff were. Taehyung turned away as fast as lightning when Yoongi faced him, pretending as if he had not been staring at Yoongi like the creep he was. When Yoongi came over, placing two tall glasses filled with pink drinks topped with whipped cream, Taehyung gulped. ‘Now this was more like my drink!’ Taehyung thought happily, fingers itching to pull the glass closer. “Don’t worry,” Yoongi said, pulling up a chair and sat across of Taehyung. “There’s no coffee, I promise.” “Thank you.” Taehyung sheepishly grinned, nearing the glass to him before taking a sip through the straw. Yoongi only watched in amusement, an elbow on the table and his head leaning against his palm. When Taehyung pulled away, with his eyes twinkling and mouth beaming, Yoongi could not help but to smile. “I swear, this is the best strawberry milkshake I’ve ever had!” “Glad you love it.” “God...” Taehyung mumbled, taking a huge sip like a starved man. The milkshake was sweet and the taste of the strawberry was strong, but surprisingly not as sour as Taehyung used to. Within minutes, his glass was nearly empty yet Yoongi’s barely lessen at all. Yoongi only watched as Taehyung contently drank his milkshake, his feet making small noises as they tap and at times, he would hum before swallowing. It was an endearing sight, how Taehyung seemed so elated and relaxed after consuming his strawberry milkshake. “I don’t think I’d be able to go back to any other milkshake,” Taehyung sighed, his lips quirking upwards. “I’d be happy to make you more.” Yoongi smiled, forcing himself to stare at Taehyung’s face despite his ears were burning hot. “Really?” “Really.” “Is that a promise?” Taehyung grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. Yoongi playfully rolled his eyes before letting out a sigh, wanting to pretend to be disinterested but it was hard to tamper the smile that was threatening to take over his face when Taehyung was looking at him so expectantly with such bright eyes. In the end, Yoongi only nodded, mirroring Taehyung’s huge grin. “Promise.” extra order After many milkshakes later, it dawned to Taehyung that he never got to pay for any of them. Sure, he did pay for the croissants and doughnuts, but Yoongi would always come up with new drinks as a surprise. He also had come to a realisation that Yoongi always took a break whenever he came by, often sitting with him and talk with him that it almost felt like a date. And if he were to be honest, he blushed just thinking about it. He knew they were not ‘just friends’. ‘Just friends’ do not turn red and pull their fingers away when their fingertips touched. And ‘just friends’ absolutely do not make heart eyes at each other. It did not help that Yoongi started to give him cute pet names (sweet darling boy, baby bear, sweet cheeks, little guy) and call him ‘Taehyung-ie’ and Taehyung’s favourite — sweet darling Taehyung-ie. How was Taehyung supposed to keep himself from combusting every time Yoongi call him those adorable names? It gave Taehyung a good, warm feeling, like he was being embraced. He loved what they were now, and he was aware how selfish it was of him to want more. At the same time, though, he did not think he could hold himself back any longer. One night, Taehyung decided to stay a little longer. Yoongi did not question him why, but instead, he kept on bringing milkshakes to Taehyung’s table as a compensation for not being able to stay and accompany him. Taehyung did not feel lonely though because few days ago Yoongi had given him the staff’s wifi password. And it was so much faster than the guests’ wifi. ‘If that’s not love, I don’t know what is,’ Taehyung chuckled to himself. It was only when the cafè was empty that Yoongi finally pulled the chair in front of Taehyung, making Taehyung lock his phone to focus all his attention to Yoongi. He looked a bit tired, his eyes were drooping and his pouty lips were slightly parted. “You okay, hyung?” Taehyung asked, concerned. “I’m okay, little guy. Do you need anything else? I think we still have some chocolate milk in the fridge—” “Hyung, no, no. Just stay, please,” Taehyung murmured, quick to reach his hand out to touch Yoongi’s before Yoongi could leave. “Oh,” Yoongi muttered, gaze shifting to their hands. Taehyung pulled his hand back, giving Yoongi a sheepish grin. “Hyung, if you think I’m here just for the milkshakes...” Taehyung begun, his eyebrows furrowing as he folded his arms, “then you are only partly correct. Though I love your milkshakes, I lov— like!” Taehyung’s voice went three octaves higher, a bit glad that he managed to catch himself before saying something else. He cleared his throat to continue, voice much deeper this time to indicate that he was being serious, “I like your presence even more.” There were pink hues on Yoongi’s cheeks, and it seemed as if Taehyung had driven all the exhaustion away from him as he straightened in his seat. “I... I was wondering...” Taehyung gulped, suddenly feeling antsy as he grabbed the empty glass to twirl the straw around. “What are we, hyung?” “What do you mean, little guy?” “I know we’re not just friends. If we are, then... then I wanna let you know that I want us to be more than that.” Yoongi blinked repeatedly, which somehow made him a thousand times more cuter than he already was. It made Taehyung wonder if that was a mistake, and he was already regretting it. He was ready to fake a laughter and yelling out “SIKE!” before running away to hide the tears that are going to stream down his face. He was probably giving Yoongi his awkward, boxy smile, but Yoongi was not even responding except for the blinks. He could feel his palms sweating, his head was spinning and— “Taehyung-ah, you know hyung hates milkshakes right? And yet, hyung promised to always make you milkshakes, right?” It was Taehyung’s turn to blink now. “Uhuh...” “I thought... I thought you’d get the hint that I would do anything for you,” Yoongi murmured, his voice was getting smaller at the end of his sentence as he looked away. Taehyung blinked again. “Hyung, what do you...” “Kim Taehyung...” Yoongi sighed, closing his eyelids for a few moment. When he opened his eyes, he was staring straight into Taehyung’s eyes, and Taehyung saw determination in them that it made Taehyung swallow. “Will you let me make you milkshakes for as long as you want me to?” Taehyung wanted to combust right at the spot. How was it possible for Yoongi to make something like that so romantic? Taehyung understood then, that it was Yoongi’s way of proposing to become boyfriends and god, the thought of becoming Yoongi’s boyfriend was enough for him to orbit around the moon. His heart was soaring and his head felt somehow lighter. He let out a giggle before answering, “Yoongi hyung, I am happy to let you make me as many milkshakes as you want. I’d even be the taster for your new recipe even though they contain coffee.” Yoongi broke out into a grin before chuckling. The both of them burst out into a laughter, laughing at nothing in particular. When the laughter died down, Taehyung noticed how Yoongi kept on biting his lower lip, and there was an unfamiliar glint in his eyes. “Taehyung-ah, is it okay if hyung kiss you?” God, Taehyung wanted to run out of the cafè and scream. He could not contain his grin, and he was scared that he might have sounded too excited that he ended up just nodding. If Taehyung were to be honest, they were in quite an awkward position — being across each other and all that, with a small table in between — but Yoongi leaned in, one hand on the table for support and when their lips met, there were fireworks in Taehyung’s chest. It was... not really sweet. “Blegh.” Taehyung nearly gagged when he pulled away. “Really, hyung? How many coffee have you consumed?” “Ah, sorry, love,” Yoongi chuckled, not looking as if he was sorry at all. Taehyung, on the other hand, was beaming at the new pet name he was called. “C’mere hyung, give me a kiss and I’ll forgive you.” Translation: I would do anything for you, and I would still love you, even when you have coffee breath.
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delicatefury ¡ 7 years ago
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Saturday plan!
It’s only a little after one. I still have plenty of day ahead of me.
Okay, so painting yesterday didn’t happen. Both of my sibs were home so it became “Stew and Great British Baking Show” night instead. I might prime the canvas today, though. I’m thinks an off white background and then something in lilacs and light blues. Something I can hang in my room (there’s nothing on the walls right now except a crucifix, and having just that up reminds me of when we stayed in cloister for our overnight senior retreat in high school. I’m not gonna take it down. It’s mine and my grandparents gave it to me for first communion and I’ve hung it up in every room I’ve lived in since, but still).
Today is for a handful of things. I was gonna get Pokémon Sun, but I realized that it’s on the list I sent my mom for Christmas (I literally just screenshot-ed my “to buy later” list. Also included? New black heels, the cat returns, a new windshield, yarn (which-no-one-should-try-to-buy-me-ever), laptop, and roundtrip airfare for Hawaii, etc. So, not an actual Christmas list) so I need to tell her not to get it and survive the yearly “why buy yourself something frivilous when Christmas is coming and your family can get it for you?” Talk. Mom. Love ya. But I’ve been putting off getting this game since it came out. Getting it is my reward for finally getting my bar app in and paid for. 
Anyway, today is for cleaning and writing and baking. So, here’s my plan (Warning, I seem to have gone on a lot of tangents today):
Writing and Drawing at the LCS. I’m already here, so this’ll be as soon as I get off tumblr. Working on... whatever catches my fancy, actually. I’m gonna try my hand at drawing the pets again. I know there’s a million and a half pet-oriented comics, but... I wanna. To be honest, though, I’m probably gonna work on TDPL.
Back home: Laundry. I’ve gotta wash the dog’s bed-cover again. When I started putting it on last night, the cat got real interested and started doing that open-mouth sniff he does, usually before he pees on something. So, yeah, the foam bedding got socked in urine-destroyer and the cover got enzyme cleaner and a second wash. If he pees on it again, there’s a good chance I’m gonna owe my sister a $50 dog bed. I’ve also got to wash sweaters and my sheets (I’m getting stuffy. For some reason, probably how deeply I sleep, my room is the den for the animals. I wake up with two dogs bracketing my feet, a kitten by my stomach, and my cat watching from the dresser. Only the cat is mine). I also have to get my room cleaned. My suitcase pretty much just exploded when I got home and there are clothes everywhere.
Baking! My sister wants chocolate chip, her co-workers have requested snickerdoodles, and I want to make sugar cookies. I love Christmas season because I can just bake and bake and if there are too many cookies? Give them away! I did forget to get the cookie press from my mom while I was home for Thanksgiving (she’s told me not to buy one since she has two. A modern plastic one and an old copper one from my grandma. There are pros and cons for both. I still haven’t forgotten that Grandma’s chintzy little 60-year-old flour sifter is still the most reliable and efficient one I’ve ever used. My modern one sprung apart in my hands), so no buttery little Spritz cookies until she comes to visit in a week or so (another traditional German thing that I completely failed to realize is a traditional German thing while growing up. I just thought they were “old people” cookies since Grandma B (dad’s mom) always had a tin of them on hand). Also, I’m pretty sure I’m getting a springerle cookie press for Christmas, too. There was a woodworker selling intricate hand-made presses at the Christkinldmarkt on small business Saturday. They were so pretty and mom’s heard me gush about them before, and she asked me which of the designs I liked (the Christmas ones, duh. The trees with candles, the birds trailing ribbons, the nativity scene...) so I’m pretty confident. But I don’t have the press now, so no springerle cookies either.
Right, this is supposed to be my plan for the day, not Fury’s baking corner.
Anyway, Between laundry and baking, I intend to clean and knit. Part of the reason why I’m lazy at cleaning is because when I clean, I clean and I do it right and that takes a long time. (I can’t not. I’ll be vacuuming and I’ll see the lamp on the table looks dusty, so I’ll stop vacuuming and grab a dustcloth. Then I notice the table is also dusty. And so’s the baseboard. And what’s that spot on the wall? Did someone spill melted candle wax? And is that a dog-nose print on the window? And next thing you know it’s two hours later and the room’s still not vacuumed). 
So since I can never force myself to spend a whole day cleaning, I tend to let my sister do most of the upkeep since her dog does most of the shedding and instead I mainly do groceries, budget, bills, and general errand running. And it bothers me that my sister doesn’t clean right because I know she was taught the same way as me and the rest of our siblings. Dust first to knock it all to the floor. Then vacuum from the top of the house down. That way, again, the dust you, I don’t know, knock off the stairs settles in places you have yet to clean and not the place you just finished. Then you can mop and steam clean and carpet clean and do windows when there’s no stray dust and dirt to resettle on clean, wet surfaces. But she rarely dusts and she always vacuums the main floor before the upstairs. I can see the dirt settle behind her as she vacuums her way up the stairs.
So I’ll be dusting and vacuuming a second time today. I don’t straighten up. I deep clean. So you can get me to really clean about five or six times a year. Otherwise my life is just sorta... messy.
I was thinking about getting a haircut today. I really really need it (bangs officially reach my chin. I needed a haircut about three inches ago), but it’s already after one and I’d rather get the house in order while I’m feeling... twitchy. Also, Advent starts on Sunday and Thanksgiving was last week, so I’m gonna blast Christmas music while I get stuff done. Christmas music and cookies baking and knitting and video games... I love December. It’s right behind October for favorite month. (If I lived somewhere I could get decent snow in December, it might get bumped up, so instead it’s firmly behind October).
If I keep at it and don’t waste the day on my phone, I might even get a good chunk of my office cleaned and start on that painting tonight.
Heck, if I’m really ambitious, I’ll order my transcript and get my driving records request in for the bar application too.
Busy, busy day. And 11 hours till I go to bed. Let’s do this.
What was first up? oh yeah, writing and drawing.
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deliciousstrawberryperson ¡ 7 years ago
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Jimin~ Past
Summary: A girl named Anastasia who ran from her family. Why? That’s a whole other story.
Length: 5.5k Part 1.
Ana’s p. o. v
“MinieMi? It’s time!” I called knocking on his door. “Ji?” I called knocking again. He didn’t reply at all. Is he jacking off? What if he went to shit? He poops when he’s nervous. I suck in a deep breath and walk in. Yep he was jacking off. Idk why but everytime I always end up frozen. My skin was looking the same but I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Hearing his supressed moans and seeing him made me cream. Fuck. The contract. I slap myself hard and turn to leave. “Ana. I… Need you.” He says. I froze. MinieMi was my first bias in BTS. I ignored his hot pleas. I closed his door and took out my key locking his room. I was huffing trying to clear my mind of the image. No such thing occured. I was wet and stood there zoned out and huffing like a dog in heat. Kookie saw me and asked, “Ana are you okay?” I nod. “You caught him again didn’t you?” RapMon chimmed in. “N-n-no of course n-not!”
Rap Mon smirked at me and I just chuckled awkwardly excusing myself. Fuck. I need this out of my mind. I need to focus. I chugged a bottle water. “MinMin.” Jin whispered teasing me. I choked spiting water out. I held my throat. “You can’t do that J!” I shouted still coughing. The three boys laughed at me. Suga woke up angrily and asked, “What’s this racket about?” I shook my head. I was constantly zoning out. “He got caught didn’t he?” He yawned blinking. “Of course he did.” Jin said smirking. “Excuse me I’m going to the washroom.” I say occasionally coughing. I sat on the seat peeing. I felt hot. I can’t fuck up even once. He’s a demanding one. I have to resist the urge to knock him in the head. My clit was throbbing. I teased myself by inserting my fingers and pumping a few times. I was going to stop but… I couldn’t. “Ana. I… Need you.” I was huffing trying to cough it out. But i ended up just biting my tongue and squeezing my breasts. Fuck. I had razor sharp nipples! They saw it poking out?! Embarrassed for life. I heard someone open the door. I got shocked and that helped me stop. Why did masturbation feel so good all of a sudden? “Namjoon. You’re not allowed in here.” Suga says. Lol. I am now flushed and my nipples are harder than before. I flush the toilet putting on my jacket. Hot. It’s so hot. I immediately start sweating. “Ana? Jimin’s ready.” Suga says. I gulp. Slapping myself a few times. I sigh. Serious mode. I grabbed my beats from around my neck and put it on my ears. I walk out looking flushed but fuck it I don’t care. I grab my ballet flats from my bag. Lol. I dance too.
I pull back my bangs and grab the supplies going to his room. I sigh many times. He was looking… H- Normal! He was looking Normal!!! I was forcing myself to act normal but Rapmon who already had his makeup done was watching. I was shaking.
Jimin looked at me. He looked so soft almost pouting. Cuuuuuuuttttteeeee! I giggle a little and get started.
*2 hours after*
He was done and he was peacefully asleep. I left him to sit on the same couch… I flew up and walked out the door. Well I’m done. I just need his hair supplies so I can do his hair. TaeTae sat next to MinieMi. “Ana! Do me too my makeup artist is sick.” Tae says being cute then watching me with lustful eyes. I chuckle awkwardly as I feel myself get wet. J and Kookie join RapMon on the table. MinieMi still sitting there sleeping. I do TaeTae’s makeup in no time. I move on to Tae’s hair. It didn’t take me long. “MinieMi?” I call softly poking his cheek softly. I felt myself get lightheaded. The roomed warped and I was stumbling. I rest the curling iron on the counter. Sitting on the ground below. “Ana! Watch out!” Rapmon called. It was too late it fell on my cheek burning it. I took off the curling iron trying to gently pull it off my skin. My skin came out with it. I wanted to cry but they need their hair done. I was still lightheaded and in pain. I ran out and got Christen’s curling iron. Before he can question me I run off. I got back to the room stuffing a chocolate in my mouth. It hurt to chew at all but the next side hurt more. I started MinMin’s hair. They were pleading with me to go to the hospital. I’ll go after their concert. I was almost finished with his flawless hair and I was less light-headed. A few times tears runned down my face and I just flicked it away. It was serevely burnt but I need to finish. In about 2 hours I was done. “Ana are you finished?” Taehyung asked. I nodded slowly. Taehyung dragged me and RapMon pushed me out the room. “But-” I mumbled hissing. “No buts.” RapMon scolded me. “I agree.” Suga said walking up to us. He was already dressed and some them were already dressed as well. They were carrying me to the hospital? But there’s only 30 minutes til the concert starts!
“No. You can’t come.” I tugged away from them. “You have 30 minutes. I’ll go alone.” I say lying through my teeth. “Yea right. Knowing you, you’ll go home and deal with it yourself. And this needs to be treated properly.” RapMon says. “It’s my own fault. I forgot to eat.” They got more worried. “Not again. Ana. You need to eat to live.” Suga says. “With all the mess I forgot to eat.” I said. Fuck. This hurts so much. “The crew members are gonna pull you away soon. Just wait.” I tried tugging away from the 3 boys but they won’t let me. I suppose I should be glad they care. “They’ll cancel and hold it tomorrow.” Suga says. They’ll be pissed. Soon the other dressed boys catch up with me. “Ana!” MinieMi calls. “Oh my God. What happened.” Jimin asks. They boys watch him annoyed. “You slept through the whole thing!” Jin quarrelled. MOMMA Jin at it again. “Ana. You need to eat.” Jin demands. “I know I know. It’s just that as a prima ballera or a rookie one my weight needs to stay constant and my body has a problem regulating everything.” I mutter the last two words.
“I really did forget. Practice today from 2-6:30 then rush here and organise everything. And not to mention the other things, I just forgot.” Fuck. My hands start to sweat. Taehyung watched me worriedly. “I-I’m good.” He knows my palms sweat when I have anxiety. They climb into the van. 5 minutes to show time. Luckily the fans didn’t see us. RapMon and Suga in front. I can never be a ballerina again. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. They were watching me carefully, making sure everything was fine. “Don’t think about it Ana. It was an accident. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.” Jin says softly. “Maybe you’re right.” I whispered back. RapMon drove the van to the hospital. Showtime and they can’t find the boys, who all left their phones in their dressing rooms. I giggled a little still bitter. As a rookie my skin must be flawless and next week is our performance. I’ll never dance again. My ankle’s still sprained that they don’t know. If they did they’d be mad. Really mad.
I’m like the little kid and they’re my parents. Well maybe just Jin. Technically everybody except Kookie and MinieMi is my elder. We arrived and I had to wait. They called my name and all of them filled in the info. After about 2 hours we were done. I’ll never dance again. My life couldn’t get any worse. My scars will remain. Heavy makeup isn’t allowed. They condone the natural look.
I had this bandage on my face and I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to burst into tears. Kookie hugged me from behind tightly. I bit my tongue. I reluctantly loosened his arms. “I’m good Kookie. Let’s go back and I’ll explain to management.” I say climbing in. They gave me multiple pain killers.
*at the auditorium*
I walk in and are met by angry staff. “I can explain-” the security tugged me towards management. “My face.” I say. They insulted me a bunch and then ended my contract. I don’t have the money to sue. I’m still in university. I walked out and was enveloped in a group hug. “Since it’s cancelled let’s have a fun day.” I see they changed back. “I just want to go home, clean and sleep.” I say. They watched me worriedly. They don’t trust me home alone right now. I understand. “If that’s what you want we’re coming along.” I shrugged. They used the van and drove to my home. I walked up the stairs in my old apartment building. We arrive and the place is a mess. I toss my bags on the floor along with my shoes I was about to grab my cigarette pack. “Ana…” Jin looks at me hands on his hips with a serious face. I sigh tossing it in the trash. I turn on the stereo and it plays pop music. I start with the kitchen and disinfect the counters and such. I vacuumed and swept and mopped. While that was drying I vacuumed the carpet. And cleared up my old ballet shoes pile. Since I’ll never dance again I’ll just get rid of it. I toss my clothes in the washing machine and clean out the bathtub. I go into my room leaving the door open and vacuum tossing dirty clothes in the hamper and reorganising. I rehang my clean clothes on the hangers. Sounds like I did that in one go didn’t it? I didn’t. I cooked food, fed my cat and she went by the boys after eating her belly full. I then cleaned the toilet, dried the washed clothes and hung it on hangers. I popped popcorn and the boys sat with my huge ass dvd collection. ¾ of it was anime. ½ hentai. The other ¾ was movies and korean dramas. I told them not to touch the hentai. I see Kookie walked to my Manga collection and MinieMi was looking at my books. I collapsed on the carpet just wishing to sleep. Everything was clean. I was crying. I laughed getting up pulling out my stash of alcohol. I created a strong mixture and toasting, “Cheers to fucking destiny!” I downed it. Fuck it always burned like a bitch. I sat on Kookie’s lap laying on RapMon’s and Hobi’s lap. In a few minutes everything was blurring. “Jin get the bin!” Hobi said. Each one of them shares one my secrets. So if they all gather everything They’ll piece together my not so nice life. They’re scared to do that. ….😴😴😴
“Don’t touch me!” I screamed. He just kept ramming himself into me. My virginity… Gone. He covered my mouth. “You do what I tell you to.” He looked at me with those eyes.
“NO!!!” I screamed. I flew up. Fuck, why? Why remember that? I only woke up Suga and he sat up rubbing his eyes eyeing me. I got up and sat in my dark bedroom corner trembling. I can’t help the shaking. I hug my knees remembering his face and his filthy hands on me. How he broke my spirit. I can’t… I got up to go back outside. The chocolate… Suga pushed me on the wall both his hands beside my head. “Talk to me Ana.” He says seriously. I turned away. “I-I c-cant…” I stammered. He turned my face to his holding my chin up to look at him. “I’m not forcing you. But I can’t do anything if I don’t know what’s wrong.” I need a distraction. Forgave me Suga. I entwined our lips. I pulled back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.” I say walking off to the kitchen. He grabbed me. “Ana. I don’t know what you’re going through but… I can offer to be your best distraction. I’m not good at comforting people…” He says looking into my eyes. “I refuse to lead you on. I didn’t want any of you to be led on but it keeps happening!” I say frustrated.
“You’re nothing but a failure! You’re a disgrace to this family!” Hit after hit I felt more pain in my heart than I’d ever feel outside my body.
“I’m sorry.” I apologise. “You expect us to send you to college. What could you possibly do as a ballet dancer for this family?! Uselese bitch!” My mum threw the laptop at me.
I just can’t. The boys had woken up. I sat there leaning on the fridge my worst moments being forced into my thoughts. I was shaking and sniffing rocking back and forth. There were only two who knew. I… My body isn’t responding to me! Why! Kookie and Jin saw me leaning there shaking and crying. Kookie rushed over trying to calm me telling me to breathe and Jin ran out of the appartment, Jimin caught on and rushed to me lifting me up bridal style rushing down the stairs. Kookie was rushing after us. How did MinMin know? I’m cold. We reached the van and Kookie wrapped me up with the blanket. “Did you dream it again?”
I try to say something. “Y… Ye.. Yes.” I forced. Even my tongue was heavy. The boys got in the van and Jin began to explain. No no no! “Jin stop! Don’t make me relive it again!” I cried hugging onto Jimin tightly. He ran his hands through my hair hugging me back. I did tell him didn’t I? Yep I did. I had calmed down. I don’t know why but after all the anxiety is gone I get horny as hell. I try to stop hugging Jimin unnoticably. He whispered, “If you want I’ll grant you that favour.” It was almost below inaudible. “Thanks but…” I whisper back. “I get it.” He responds. He sounded hurt even. But I can’t the contrac- wait a minute. I’M FIRED! I start to hyperventilate. No! No! No! How am I- “Shhhhh. We’ll fix it.” He says holding me. “How could you fix that?!” I exclaim panicking. “Jin stop!” I exclaim pulling the door open my hair being pulled back by Suga. I emptied the contents of my stomach onto the road. It was 3:00 am. I wiped my mouth on the sweater. I took it off leaving it with the vomit. I rush into Jimin’s arms. I’m not even wearing a bra but he’s warm. “He’s sooo warm.” He hugged me regardless and I felt so cosy. My hands was freezing. I put them under his sweater. He moaned. Everyone stopped and looked at me. “Are you doing more than hugging over there?” Jin asked. “My hands were cold so I touched his arms to gain heat.” I say. They watch me smirking. “Mhmmm.” RapMon and Taehyung said. I laugh. When everybody stopped paying attention I ran my hand down his torso. He gasped softly. I was being naughty. I refused his favour but now I’m teasing him. My hand glided over his sweats easily. That huge bulge! Fuck! It’s bigger than I thought! He huffed biting his lips. “You said no why the change of heart?” He asked smiling. I’m acting hella bipolar. But hell ya I want him now. “Nothing changed sweetheart.” I whispered seductively. “Except that contract and my confidence.” I continued. I grabbed him rubbing up and down. We had a window so no one could see shit. He was suppressing his moans. It was hot. I was hot. I moved his hand to my pussy. Fuck I can’t. I want to kiss him but my mouth stinks. He rubbed my clit softly. I bit my tongue. He kept at it and I was in heat. I couldn’t take it. I climbed onto him. He rubbed his bulge on me. I try to look normal. Covering my mouth with the blanket and closing my eyes. I pushed my hips towards his as he was pushing against my entrance. I grabbed his sweater tight. He continued. I was riding him. Fuck. It’s so hot. My eyes were looking at Hobi. I tried but I couldn’t help but let them roll to the back of my head. I could see Suga and RapMon look at me silently questioning my wanky behavious. I put my index finger on my lips shushing them. I bit my lips trying to stop myself from looking hornier than I was. His hands in my underwear squeezing my ass. This boy! They watch me gulping and averting their eyes. I gave them a thumbs up as I was approaching my climax. His dick was actually out and he only let the head enter me. I ended up going straight down on him. He huffs sharply into the blanket as he bit it harshly. As I orgasmed I could see their faces in shock. Soon van stops and we are flushed as fuck! Just a little more… I just a few more thrusts to finish! Damn it! Damn it all!
We arrive at the hotel and Jimin hides his bulge with the blanket. Kookie and Tae ran in cuddling too. “You’re coming with me.” Jin pulled me to his room. RapMon was alone. Jin was also alone. Jin closed his door and started quarrelling, “Why were you molesting him?” I put my hands between my legs rubbing them together not being able to concentrate. “Jin you can’t talk to me in this state…” He held his nose bridge shaking his head. I get up and watch out my mouth with listorine. “Jin tonight we’re getting this out of our systems. Since I will never dance again and I’m a broke college student I might as well go back to hell.” I said despairing. “No! I will not allow you to go back there!” He says hugging me. He sighs heavily. “Fine just tonight. We’ll cover for you.” I nod smiling. “Don’t tell the others.” I rush into MinMin’s room.
I sat on his lap kissing him hard. “Look at what you’ve done.” Jimin whispered sexily. The moaning started and Kookie ran out of there. He rubbed his hips against me aggressively. Fuck. I can’t. “Uh!” He sucked my neck placing hickees. We lay down and he pulls my underwear down. He shoved it in. “Fuck!!!” I can’t. I kiss Jimin roughly and passionately. I bit my lips but couldn’t manage to hold back as he pounded into me. Why does this feel so good! I’m so wet and creamy. He kissed me again going deeper! Fuck! “Uh! Ah! Ah!” I exclaimed. He changed position. He made my back face him and was rubbing my clit while fucking me. “Uh! No! Fuck! Haaaaaa…” I moan in absolute heat. “Ana…” He moans my name. He then pulls out and changes again to missionary. When he pushes back in he rubs my gspot. Fuck not them both. “Jimin! No! Not that spot!” I was loosing my mind. We were staring into each others soul. He was moaning hard and I was yelling his name as I was about to cum. “Fuck! Don’t squeeze me so hard!” He begs. “Ahhhhh!” He groans harshly inhaling. “So close…” I mutter. My mind’s going blank. “Jimin… Ah…” I moan my tongue outside my mouth and my eyes rolling back. Fuck! fuck! fuck! He went deep the last few times. Fuck! “Don’t stop!” This orgasm! “Ahahhh! Ahhhhhhaaaaa! Fuck! I can’t! Uhhh!” I came squeezing Jimin dry. MinMin was huffing along with me and sweating profusely. “Round two.” I moaned pushing my hips against his. “Wait! Give me a cha-! Ahhh! FUCK ANA!!!” He exclaims moaning agressively. He pushed forward eventually. I can’t! Fuck I’m cumming again! I never cum so fast! Fuck! Jimin can’t keep up! “FUCK! IT FEELS SO FUCKING GREAT!” He moans. “It feels like my dick’s being sucked dry!” He emptied himself inside me once more. The moaning was loud as hell. We were going at it like animals. Fuck my clit… “MinMin you’re gonna have to… ” I trail off thinking he got the point. He tossed his sweater and went down on me. “Fuck! Ah! Shit! Ahaa! Uh! Fuck me!” I pressed his head to my clit. He kept sucking. “Fuck Ana you’re making me hard…” He says giving me those unfocused eyes once more. “Fuck me! Please!” I beg. He slid in once again deeply. Doggy style fuck. It hadn’t even been 5 minutes and I was about to combust. “Fuck! Everytime I try to pull out you’re clinging to me!” He exclaims cumming again its so much. I’m so tired. I could go again but I’m too tired. MinMin carried us to the bed and we slept naked.
…..
I woke up. I got up and looked into the mirror. Naked? I look to the bed to see Jimin butt naked and I was not shocked. I knew it’d happen again eventually. But the after math called a relationship… I didn’t want to deal with. Grabbing his sweater from yesterday and threw it on leaving to go by daddy RapMon. Lol. I opened the door and crawled in bed with him. He embraced me opening one eye chuckling. “Momma Jin would’ve quarrelled.” I say. He chuckled again. “He’s actually nice in the morning.” He responds. “Wanna talk about it again?” He asks sitting up. I hug him again. I like the embrace. All members know this by now. He hugs me. “I don’t want a relationship Namjoon. Not a romantic one. All that ever does is leave me broken. Why would I ever want that again? Besides I don’t know how I feel or how to feel.” Jin opens the door walking in. “Really?! Last night said otherwise.” He states sitting on the bed arms folded. “That was just sex! It’s got nothing to do with anything else…” I trail off. “I hear yuh.” He says laughing going back. This jacket smells like him. It’s so warm. “So you’re saying sex like that doesn’t mean anything?” RapMon asks. I think I know where this is going. “No. It doesn’t.” I say. He turns my face to his. Fuck, I knew it. “Would it then become a problem if I kissed you?” He asks smirking. “My brain would become more confused.” I say. He actually kissed me! His lips, so soft. And it was passionate. I wanted to give into this soft temptation. I couldn’t manage to refuse this pleasure. “Wait… Namjoon…” I said softly. “Stop. This isn’t the way to go about this.” I said a little louder. He continued his sweet assault of my body. Giving me more hickeys to go home with. His hand squeezed my breast gently. His other hand slid between my legs. My clit’s extremely sensitive today after Jimin’s assault. “Ana, I’ve liked you longer than Jimin so why? You knew it too. Why did he get you first?” He asked touching my clit. I began loosing myself again. I can’t… My hips buck but I try to keep them still. I can’t refuse. No! Don’t touch it directly! I held my moans back surprisingly. It wasn’t long before I was a coming mess. With my pussy itself dripping with my cum I know he was tempted to dive in. “I don’t know myself. I’m sorry.” I kissed his lips getting up off of his bed. I don’t want to talk about it. Suga would be the most honest. But I just can’t. I need one of Jin’s pants, Kookie’s shoes and I’m going home. I don’t care that my hair is a mess. I don’t care that Jimin and Namjoon’s hickees and love bites are on my neck and body. I just wanna go home. I push Jin’s door open and saw no trace of him. “Yes!” Jin closed the door and the five other members appear. I can’t take it. I slide down the door as panic and fear races through my system. My head was spinning, my heart was racing, I was crying, I let out a scream and I couldn’t hear anymore. I couldn’t see anything either.
BTS members p. o. v
She walked into Jin’s room like he said she would. Then he closed the door. She knew we were all here. We stepped out ready to talk to her. She slid down the door and screamed. Oh no. Fuck!
JK* I rushed to her. She was unconscious. “Call an ambulance.” I said. I felt for a pulse and her heartbeat was soft. It was regular now. 2 beats per second. I sighed. Her smell is intoxicating. I didn’t mean to but… I hadn’t even realised it happened but I got hard. I guess we did overwhelm her. Why did we all confront her knowing about her anxiety level being extremely high this morning? Why? It’s our fault. I can’t help this feeling of enormous envy. I wanted her to ravish me. I wanted to devour her body like he did. The ambulance arrived in five minutes and they took her. We followed them. We should definitely piece together her life.
SG*
Her smell. It got me harder. Morning wood is annoying as hell believe me. I’m either silent or cold towards her. I don’t know how to tell her I like her and I want to date her. I mean the rest of the band is fighting for her too. And Jin, Namjoon and Jimin have a good shot with her. Those are her rocks. They know more than any of us. There are some things they still don’t know but we do. Jimin and her had sex last night. I was out in the hall trying to write a song to tell her and I heard them. Other people were complaining about the music Jin and Namjoon were playing. But it’d be worse to hear someone having sex wouldn’t it? It made me so mad to think that I’m not the one giving it to her. I finished the song. I want her to rap with me again and write more songs. But what sense would it make if she’s unwell again? I think we should put her life story together.
JN*
Her smell. I had to run from RapMon’s room otherwise I would have touched her. Believe me I wanted to a few minutes ago. It fucking hurt to cover for her last night. I still heard her moans. I still heard her pleas for more. I was to supposed to be the one she begs. She… Fuck. Why didn’t I tell her before how I feel? I can hear him enjoy her. I want her all to myself and no one else to have her. I want to be the one she cuddles with when she’s cold. The one she sings with. I need to know what happened.
JM*
It took us so long to give into each other. We were stubborn. I was. I would piss her off and tease her. But in reality I was jealous she didn’t interact like that with me. I wanted her to whisper in my ear and make me flustered like she does with Kookie. I wanted her to flop herself on my lap like she does with Namjoon and Jin. I want her to cling onto me like she does with Suga. She does so many things to Suga, with Suga… I want to know everything.
TH*
Her scent. I could smell her strong pheromones perfarate through the room. It made me feel like an animal. I wanted to jump on her instantly. She always sung with me. Teasing me. Treating me cutely. The only time she ever took me seriously is…
[Flashback]
I jammed her against the wall, holding her wrists on the wall. “Stop treating me like a child Ana. I’m a man. I can’t suppress myself if you keep treating me like this…” I kissed her. I actually did it. It became heated and I kissed her faster and a bit harder. She futher encouraged it by hooking her leg on my waist pushing me against her. My hips was moving on it’s own. She moaned out. “Taehyung don’t you’ll make me-” I couldn’t stop! Her moans turned me on. “Fuck! Taehyung if you don’t stop… You’ll make me cum!” She whispered harshly, grabbing my ass to stop me. I wanted to see her cum. I wanted to see her wet… I continued and soon enough she did cum her face was beautiful. “Don’t tell anyone Taehyung, the contract…” She begged. “Can I kiss you one last time?” I asked. “Yes.” She replied.
I had to suppress myself from that day on and Jimin gets to dig in?! No way! I need to know what caused her to stop and I know it’s not the contract.
*JH
I’m sure I’m not the only one experiencing this but her smell… It’s done something to make us all hard. No wonder Jimin’s still knocked out from last night.
[Flashback]
It was after dance practice and Suga allowed us to borrow the studio for the evening. We were singing. I was singing this song I made for her.
🎤I can see it in your eyes
Those lies roll off your tongue
“You’re okay!” I’m okay
But Today…
Imma make you scream my name. 🎵
She kissed me. Hard. I was a little shocked at first but returned the pressure. I pulled her by the waist. I turned the mic off jamming her on the table. “Hobi…” She said catching her breath. “Ana. You know that’s not fair.” I was hard. “Hobi… I want you too.” She said pulling down her underwear. Wait… We’re really doing this… “Ana…” I moaned. The thought sent pleasure through me. She began unbuckling my belt. “Ana? Suga might pass by!” I whisper sharply. She grabbed me jocking up and down. “Fuck Ana. Are you trying to make me ravage you?” I growl. I huff feeling good. *Kimouchiii. I stopped her hands becoming more aggressive. I moved her legs to my shoulders. “Hobi wait!” She exclaimed. I slid in huffing. She moaned hard. I leaned closer, she held my face connecting our lips once again. I bit her lips softly. She sucked my tongue. Fuck! I was even more aggressive. I returned the favour. Her hands in my hair she pulled softly. I pounded into her hitting her deep. “Hobi! Uh! Please! Please… Convince me more.” She begged. I twisted her. I hit her from the back. Fuck! “Ahhhh!” I moaned she squeezed me hard. “Ahhhhh! Ah! Uh! Fuck!” Her hips were doing their own thing. I had to hold her hips back because she was about to make me cum. Fuck! She came. So tight! “Uhhhahhhaa!” I couldn’t hold anymore. “Uh! Don’t stop! Orgasm!” She exclaimed. I don’t know if I could make it… I had to try and some how I ended up achieving an orgasm.
We were intimate. No one knows, I think. I get the feeling RapMon knows but I don’t know. We started rapping together more. Dancing together. But then the eating problem occured. I hadn’t know what caused her dizziness but eventually after talking to the guys we came to conclusion her blood count could be low or she isn’t eating. She was dizzy all the time. So I started to make sure she ate. With all the bodily care I gave her she had less time to freely hang out with me and we grew apart. I want her back. I need to know why all the bodily problems occur.
*RP
This morning… It’s like instincts kicked in. I almost ignored her pleas. I… Touched her. But that smell… It came from her. I’m known as her Teddy bear. Most of the time. The other half of the time Kookie’s her Teddy bear. We talk all the time. On the phone, in the studio, on the set, we sleep together, we go out together. I know much more than most of the boys. And I get the feeling Jimin is not the first one to get the puss. If I’m right Hobi was. But I did express my likeness for her this time. She knows for sure now. I know what and why but I need the remaining puzzle pieces.
…….
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