#i was supposed to get money today and i was looking forward to treating myself to some of my favourite cookies and maybe a pizza

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Being a lightweight is so fun lol

[marshmallowprotection]

So I don't usually vent to strangers on the internet, never have before at all actually. But your page is just radiating with amazing vibes and you're such a safe space. I always read your work and it makes me so happy.

Today was...yikes. and it's only really begun. For about two weeks now I've been going back and forth with a girl about working for her, she interviewed me and seemed to like me, and hired me. Well then I gave her my number and she took a while to text me even though she was supposed to the next day. Finally she says hi, I reply back and then I hear nothing when I needed to know what time I was supposed to come in on the day she set up for me to start ! Heard nothing. 6 days go by and she says sorry I have to reschedule you. I'm like no big deal! I understand and I look forward to working with you on the new day which was meant to be today.

Fast forward to this morning I'm running on 4 hours of sleep because I was so nervous last night to go to bed early, and I spend an hour getting ready. No texts, no calls from this girl, so I'm assuming we are still on. I drive all the way over there and get in 10 minutes early.

Immediately she sees me and ignores me, talking with her other worker and a customer who I could tell must have been a good friend of hers. I stand there for a bit waiting patiently when she turns to me and says I'll get you situated in a moment I have to use the bathroom. So I start chatting with the other worker, we talk about her necklace that I thought was cute.

And this is where is goes downhill.

The girl comes out of the bathroom and immediately starts in with "I'm so sorry to do this to you" and goes on to tell me that financially she can't afford me and that she has to send me home. In front of everyone, in the middle of the shop. First of all, if you can't afford me WHY LEAD ME ON?? WHY LET ME DRIVE THERE, WHY NOT AT LEAST CALL OR TEXT ME THIS MORNING??? Then she has the nerve to say in April she may contact me back if I'm still interested. Absolutely not.

I'm a disabled college student. Finding work is so hard and I finally thought I had the courage and ability to get a job and this was how I was treated? I'm embarrassed, angry and upset. She should have called, or maybe never hired me at all. And she certainly shouldn't have told me to go home in front of everyone there. I could actually cry rn.

Thinking so hard about how my amazing fictional bf Saeran would comfort me and how my bestie and future brother in law Saeyoung would crack stupid jokes to cheer me up and also help me find this lady's bosses number so I could be petty, call and tell them just how unprofessional she handles this business.

Anyways that's my little vent. You're such a light on this app and I really truly adore your work and how you treat others. You deserve a lot of good in your life and I hope it comes to you. I'll call myself 🧼 soap anon if that's not already a thing on your page, that way if I ever come back to chat with you (prob no more vents ??? I just wanna shower you in appreciation and Choi Twin brainrot) or even come off anon I can be identified. :)) have a wonderful day, please.

I'm sorry to hear that someone led you on, Soap Anon! It's hard enough to get by in our society when someone tells you that you didn't get a job. It's even harder when someone leads you on and makes you waste your gas money on nothing.

That stuff isn't cheap! If she knew there would be no way to pay you, she should've said it the very second she realized it for a fact and told you over the phone. It saves not only her time and embarrassment but your time as well.

That's no way to treat another person. I'm angry for you!

Being disabled is hard enough because society is designed to force you into poverty here in America by giving you things below the bare minimum. They nickel and dime you because they think they can and I hate that shit. Saeran wouldn't let that slide, you're right. Nobody is allowed to lead someone on for no reason. It's one thing if you think you can take on work, and it's another to realize you can't by the time you do the books.

Just be upfront with people and say, "I'm sorry, but I can give you this job right now. The business is tight. I might be able to help you later on if the money changes, thank you for your interest," over the phone! Literally. There was a way to handle this and this woman ain't shit. I can't suspect her motives or choices, but that was a horrible way to do somebody over.

Saeran would comfort you. He would wrap you in a blanket and bring you something warm to drink so you can cry and work through your emotions with him. He'd coax you into taking a day off so you can do what you need to. Cry and rest. Whereas, Saeyoung would waste not a second in getting payback for you. If you consent. He can make the world know not to work for this woman because she treats workers like that.

No excuse to lead someone on because they made some kind of mistake and don't want to own up to their mistake! Just be upfront! Don't make Saeyoung dismantle you to ribbons for treating his family like garbage. Because he can and will do that. You can always count on Saeran and Saeyoung to make you feel respected. If nothing else.

[percontaion-points]

Lifeblood chapter 20

Today's review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 20

My parents were good to me...at first. The older I became, the more involved they became in their work. Dad was a representative in the House of Myriad, helping to pass realm laws for humans. Mom had her paintings. One day, I woke up, cooked my own breakfast and realized I had been raising myself for years. 

They spent time with me only when I required discipline, and the knowledge had hurt. Badly. I’d become an afterthought to the people who were supposed to love me.

Not only that, but they were still expecting for her to blindly follow in their footsteps simply because they demanded it? Yet at the same time, couldn’t be bothered with their own child? 

It’s even worse when you think of how the book is trying to redeem Ten’s mom. Like sorry that you started having second thoughts, but it’s literally too late. Especially when you remember that mom broke the law and had a second kid, but subjected said BABY to a life of suffering, and almost immediate death. A LITERAL BABY. 

At sixteen, I became a bargaining chip. Because of my supposed Fusing with a Myriadian General, the realm offered my parents more money, more fame—but only if I made covenant. I wasn’t a daughter. I was a key. 

I’m pretty sure that I said this a lot during the first book, but not one single person seemed to give a shit about Ten. They only wanted her power, and the things that she wanted to do didn’t seem to matter. 

Look me in the eye and tell me that Troika gives a shit about Ten’s wishes. They talk an awful lot about free will, yet demand that she go into the field after like a week of training. 

“And my dad? How is he?” 

“He’s being trained as a Laborer, but not with the new arrivals. He has a private tutor because he��s on the fast track.” 

I’m not surprised. At the end of his Firstlife, my dad’s love for me—if he ever really loved me—had darkened into hate. He blamed me for the loss of his fame and fortune, and paid to have me killed.

I enjoyed how Myriad had branded daddy dearest as a traitor who tried to get around the child clause in his contract by having a second baby. But all of that was apparently for show, since they’re treating him WELL in Myriad. 

“Any leads on the spy?”

 “Nothing yet.” 

Who could it be? Kayla, Reed, Deacon, Victor? I trust them. Elizabeth? I would love to blame her. Levi? Even though I’m angry with him, he doesn’t strike me as a fox but a shepherd. He fights foxes, keeping them away from his flock.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the entire idea of a spy is acting like nothing is wrong. Even if you’re sometimes acting against the side that you’re spying for in order to maintain your cover. 

So literally any one of those could be a spy. 

He can’t pass through the Veil of Wings to reach me in Troika, but I suspect he would try if he thought I was in trouble—try until he died.

Chapter 20 summary: Ten and Killian start making out on the patio of the French cafe. As he pulls her away to somewhere more private, Ten randomly thinks about how shitty her parents were. Not only at the end, but how neglectful that they’d been before that. 

They start making out in an alley, but then they move to the cave that they camped out in right after Killian and Archer helped Ten escape from the asylum. There, they continue to make out. Killian eventually stops her, and says that he doesn’t want their first time to be when they’re wearing their shells, which is fair. But it’s also kind of a terrible thing to say, especially since he’s still refusing to deflect. 

Killian tells her that Levi comes to him sometimes. But during their last chat, Levi told him that he’d found a barrister for Ten’s mom, so now her trial is going forward. Ten is relieved to hear that, and asks about her father. He’s basically being treated super well, which pisses Ten off something fierce. 

They talk about the Troikian spy. Killian says he kidnapped Victor to prove that he wasn’t the spy. But even after all of that, he’s still not convinced Victor wasn’t somehow getting messages out while in captivity. He also says he didn’t wipe Victor’s memory, which is super suspicious right now. 

He goes on to tell her that he knows that the souls in Myriad are not resurrected. Ten says she thinks that they end up in Many Ends, but he isn’t sure about that. He explains his reasoning in the resurrection thing in explaining about his mom. His leaders had been hedging around about the new identity of his mom, which was frustrating him to no end. So he looked up the info on his own, and went to visit this woman. Except he knew that it wasn’t her when she tried to sleep with him. Ten isn’t sure about that, since Killian died when he was a baby; he never knew his mother, so how does he know that she wasn’t a slut? She goes back to the Many Ends thing, and describes the lake that she, Kayla, and Reed had to swim through to get to Myriad. Killian is lost in thought, so she thinks that there’s a similar lake in Myriad. 

Before they leave, he gives her a Pi necklace, with an emergency beacon connected to him. She gives him the gun-ring Meredith had given her. 

[doberbutts]

Your tags are interesting to me because I am not autistic but am neurodivergent and the large majority of men I've dated and partnered with have been somehow ND themselves and when writing romance and intimacy I almost exclusively write reference 1: myself and experiences I personally have had 2: men I have had as friends and/or partners 3: people and scenarios I find incredibly attractive.

I don't know if I would specifically call it an autistic thing because I have seen it in non-autistic neurodiverse people, but I have also seen it often enough to know it's more common than a lot of folks realize.

I also used to experience similar prior to transitioning. I never really considered my own capacity to be found attractive to someone and in fact was so used to being treated as the ugly daughter/sister that when someone would voice attraction, it would make me feel BAD and I would reject it out of hand as that person just trying to be nice about my obvious ugliness. Literally the worst way to convince baby!me to give you a chance was to say you thought I was visually pleasing because I straight up wouldn't believe you and would get incredibly suspicious about what you wanted from me. Vs now I preen and coo when dudes drool over me online and in person.

And I think I've given Panic a little of both, but a more healthy state of mind than I had when I was young. He's a tiefling that was raised surrounded by humans, and while his family came to accept him before he was old enough to remember anything different, visitors to the monastery were frequently quite frightened of him when he would walk into the room. That is, of course, why he chose to be called Panic.

So the concept of being wanted based on physical traits is a little foreign to him currently- as a traveling monk making just enough money to feed himself by punching bandits and rebuilding wells, most people regard him with a healthy amount of suspicion and keep a wide berth. He's a constant stranger and he's not a folk hero so he doesn't get Wyll's "beloved by the masses" reception when he rolls up to civilization looking for some food. He doesn't do big acts of heroism and in-game he asks the bards to please not sing about him (humility is prized by his patron) so most of his experiences with other people are one-offs.

And also some of it's just Panic himself. He's never thought too hard about pursuing romantic relationships and doesn't even know what gender(s) he likes, Astarion's the first to really tempt him and he's still not sure if he wants to move forward with that or how he wants to respond to the offer. In-game they did have sex but that's mostly bc I wanted the approval points lmao it's fade to black after he gets bit and for whatever reason Astarion never took off his pants even tho Panic did. So for all I know they did a little bit of heavy petting and dry humping and decided to call it there. Which I think would be more accurate for Panic considering, again, his high insight modifier let's him see through the front and I don't think he'd be comfortable pushing for more than that as a result.

So Astarion comes up to him in camp all flirting and eyelash batting and Panic's like uhhh OK. Logically I know you are actively flirting with me. And I suppose the compliment is appreciated. The other night was pretty fun. But A: how do I even respond to this and B: it doesn't really seem like you want it and you not wanting it kills what interest I have in continuing. So instead I'm going to give you a mildly confused look and say Some Monk Bullshit about balance and discipline and give your shoulder a squeeze before going back to what I was doing.

And in the mean time Astarion's like "?????? That usually works what the fuck??? Tf you mean???? Hello??? I'm super hot and you're supposed to be drooling over me wym good morning Astarion the petals of the flowers give praise to the sun today??? I didn't fuck you to have a discussion about mental peace achieved through perfecting your breathing I did it because you're supposed to be seduced by me???"

can i be thirsty for panic in ur inbox

You can. Panic's reaction would be sort of bemused. He's not used to being the center of attention

[obeythedemons]

When his heart first skipped a beat [Obey Me! Headcanons]

Obey Me! Masterlist

--

Lucifer

"No," MC stood their ground in front of him. He narrowed his eyes and told them to move once more. "I'm not moving, you need your rest." They spread their arms out as if their body would be enough to stop him. "I'm going to take care of your brothers, you go to bed."

"Who do you think you are ordering me around? You don't have a pact with me," he lowered his voice in an attempt to intimidate them.

"Your friend," MC replied, not at all scared of him. Instead, they looked up at him with a look that made him want to take a step back.

He felt his heart squeeze and his eyes widened at the sensation. He shook his head. Perhaps the exhaustion was giving him heart palpitations.

"Fine," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "But once I wake up, things had better be in order."

Mammon

"I don't want to make a pact with him like this, Levi," he heard MC talking in the kitchen. He frowned and crossed his arms over his chest as he continued to eavesdrop.

"I want my money back, MC," Levi whined. "If you make a pact with him you can force him to give it back to me."

"But forcing someone to do something isn't right," MC protested.

"If he forms the pact with you, then that's his fault!"

"But holding Goldie hostage?" Mammon's eyes widened at the thought of his credit card being found. He peeked around the corner, seeing MC chipping away at the ice block surrounding his precious card.

"Just do it, MC," Levi said with a roll of his eyes.

"I don't want to use Mammon like that," MC murmured, sadness evident on their face. He felt his heart squeeze at the sight of someone not wanting to treat him like the scumbag he is. Taking a deep breath, he sauntered into the kitchen. Maybe he'd let them think they'd form a pact with him just for Goldie.

Leviathan

"Hey Levi!" he heard MC's voice from behind his door. He rolled his eyes and shared a look with Henry 2.0.

"Password?" Levi called back, going back to gaming.

"I-I don't know it," he heard MC mutter. "I-sorry, I just wanted to see if you wanted to watch some anime from the human world with me?"

His fingers froze as they were keying out commands to his character. With a sigh, he paused the game and dragged himself to the door. He looked at them, expecting them to laugh at his face.

"Human world anime?" he questioned.

"Uhuh," MC grinned and held up a disc set. "It's my favorite one."

"W-wait!" Leviathan took a step back. "You like anime?"

MC tilted their head to the side. "Well, yeah?"

He gulped. His heart skipped a beat before pounding away heavily.

Satan

"Just put it on, MC," Asmo cooed. "I promise he'll love it."

"I don't know," MC sounded reluctant.

With a sigh, Satan looked up from his book to Asmo's closet where the other two were. "What are you trying to make MC do, Asmo?"

"Oh hush!" Asmo stuck his head out of the closet. "You'll see in just a second!" Asmo winked at Satan before heading back in. "Just wear it, MC! Please!"

He heard MC let out an exasperated breath of air followed by Asmo's cheering. Asmo sauntered out of the closet with a wide grin on his face, but when he looked at Satan that grin turned mischievous.

Satan narrowed his eyes at him. "What did you do?" Before Asmo could answer, Satan's attention was diverted to the soft footsteps of MC leaving the closet. His eyes widened, his heart skipped several beats to where he was wondering if he was dying, he felt a rush of heat spread across his face.

"Do they look stupid?" MC questioned, adjusting the cat ears they were wearing.

"They look fine," Satan answered quickly, burying his face in his book, but unable to read with the image of MC stuck in his face.

Asmodeus

He smiled seductively at the camera before hitting a snack. After the photo was taken, he hummed with content as he looked it over. Perfect angle. Perfect lighting. Perfect model. It was a perfect photo, but for some reason, he had no desire to post it on Devilgram. Not, his desire was to share it with one person.

"And send," he spoke, sending his selfie to MC.

It only took a few seconds before they responded.

MC: !!!!!

MC: It's not fair how beautiful you are!

Asmo chuckled before typing away.

Asmo: Let me see how cute you are <3

It took a couple of seconds before a photo popped up. Asmo let a snort come out. He hid his face with his hands from the rather unattractive noise that just came out.

He peaked at the photo of MC making the most unattractive face possible. He burst out laughing, his heart dancing about happily.

Beelzebub

He had just gotten back from practice and starving was an understatement. He was sweating, his hands were shaking, he felt nauseated, he felt like he was going to die from his hypoglycemic episode. He stumbled into the kitchen, searching desperately for food.

"Beel! Perfect timing," he faintly heard MC's voice call, but he couldn't see them. His vision was getting blurry. "Beel?" Their voice sounded concerned. He narrowed his eyes, trying to focus, but the hunger was becoming too much.

"Food," he managed to get out as he put most of his body weight on the kitchen counter. He was getting dizzy.

A couple of seconds later, he felt something press up against his lips. He opened his mouth and swallowed whatever it was. There was more. This time, he noticed it was sweet and he chewed it. It was crunchy.

His vision started to focus back. He looked down seeing MC frown up at him. They held a batch of cookies in their hands.

"Are you okay?" they asked quietly. Beel nodded his head, eyeing the other cookie. MC let out a breath of relief before they handed him another. He happily ate it, savoring the sweet taste. "Do they taste okay? I baked them just for you?"

Beel's heart thumped heavily. "Just for me?" he questioned with his mouth fool. He swallowed the cookies and smiled happily. "They taste amazing!"

Belphegor

"Belphie," he heard a distant voice call to him. Although, this voice didn't seem to be too distant, just in the realm of the waking. "Belphie, if you sleep here you'll catch get cold."

Belphie reached his arms out and tightly gripped the person shaking his shoulder. They yelped as he brought them close to him. His arms wrapped around them.

"Then keep me warm," he retorted. He buried his face in their chest. He froze when he inhaled. It wasn't the sent of his brothers, but someone else.

He peaked his eyes opened, seeing MC close to him. His heart thumped heavily at MC's bewildered expression. With a yawn, he sat up, acting like he wasn't affected by MC's scent. It was comforting, warm.

Diavolo

MC was sitting at his desk while he finished up some paperwork. He had expected to be finished with them by the time MC got there, but alas, here he was.

"Lord Diavolo?" MC questioned, drawing the demon prince of Hell from his work.

"Yes, MC?"

"Do you like being called Lord Diavolo?" He looked up at them, seeing them look off to the side, refusing to make eye contact with him.

"I suppose if I had friends, I wouldn't want them to call me Lord Diavolo."

MC pouted, their lips sticking out. "You don't consider us friends?"

Diavolo's eyes widened. A painful sensation burst from his heart, though he wouldn't call it unpleasant. In fact, he wanted to feel it again.

"I would very much like to consider us friends."

"Good, Dia," MC grinned widely at him, making his heart flutter once more.

Barbatos

He was looking everywhere for the human. Somehow, they had gotten separated at the market. Something had caught his eye and he wandered off, but he had a sneaking suspicion that the same thing also happened with MC.

"Help!" he heard the human screech. His eyes widened as he sprinted to where the scream came from. A demon was towering over their form, salivating at the sight of the human's soul.

With a flick of his wrist, the demon was sent flying through a wall. Barbatos grabbed MC's hand and dragged them away from the alleyway they were trapped in.

"Are you hurt?" Barbatos asked once they were a distance away. His eyes trailed over MC's form, looking for any scratches or bruises.

"No," MC mumbled, looking down shamefully.

Barbatos frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I..." MC sighed. "I ruined our trip to the market together, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Barbatos shook his head. "All that matters is that you're not injured."

MC gave him a weak smile. "Thank you, Barbatos." They paused for a moment. "Oh! That's right." They dug through their bag. "I bought this for you. It's not much, but I wanted to thank you for bringing me here today." Barbatos's eyes landed on a bouquet of lilacs. "They're flowers from the human realm! I was surprised to see them here."

Barbatos felt his cheeks heat up and his heart dance about. Lilacs, the flowers indicating the first sign of love.

Simeon

"And how have you been adjusting here?" Simeon questioned as he took a sip of his tea. He smiled kindly at MC. "I know it's been a couple of months now, but a lot has happened since then."

"It has," MC nodded. "To be honest, I was surprised to actually meet some demons and a couple of angels, I didn't know what to think. Humans have some pre-conceived notions on angels and demons, but seeing as I've never met one, I didn't want to let that cloud my judgment."

Simeon chuckled. "That's a very diplomatic way of seeing things."

MC shook their head. "I didn't do it to try and protect myself or get anything from any of you, I wanted to get to know all of you for who you are, not what you are. And after I got to know you, I wanted to be your friend!"

Simeon smiled brightly at MC, loving the feeling of his heart skipping a beat at their kindness.

Solomon

"Just hold still for a moment," Solomon warned as he glanced at his book. "Alright, let me just...." He trailed off into muttering the encantation. His eyes flickered off from the book to where MC was standing in the circle. "How are you feeling?"

MC blinked at him. Their eyes drooping shut. "Tired." Their knees buckled and they started to fall forward. Cursing, Solmon rushed forward and caught them in his arms before they could hit the wooden blanks below.

"Are you okay?" he questioned, manipulating their body so he could look at their face.

They gave him a lopsided grin. "Just need...some sleep. But the encantation should help with insomnia," MC yawned. Their eyes drifting shut. "But maybe not with relaxing, this is a bit...too much." MC turned and buried their face in his chest. "Protect me while I sleep?"

Solomon's face turned a bright red. He adjusted MC a bit so that he was able to hold them tightly against him. "Of course, I'll always protect you." He ignored the wild hammering in his chest, opting to look after his fellow human.

[atlasscrumpit]

Bucky x reader

Illness

Being cooped up in a mansion wasn't all fun and games.

But I suppose other people had it much worse.

My husband provided me with the best doctors and cooks that I needed. He was on business trips a lot, I was very ill and he would make sure I was taken care of by the best people.

Today the doctor said I was well enough to go for a stroll, I was beyond happy. I slowly made my way downstairs and outside closing my eyes as the sun shone on my face, the warmth making me smile.

I opened my eyes once more to see a man chopping up wood.

"Hello." I said walking forward as he looked up and wiped his forehead.

"My lady." He said bowing a little making me chuckle.

"You don't need to be so formal when my husband isn't around, don't worry I won't fire you." I joked making him smile.

"How rude of me, my name is James." He said as I smiled.

"It's lovely to meet you. I'm Y/N, as you would know. Did my husband recently hire you?" I enquired as he put his axe down.

"He did, I've only been working for a week. The maids told me you were ill, you look bright today." He said making me smile softly.

"Well, the doctor cleared me for a stroll around the gardens so I'm very excited. Would you care to join me?" I asked as he looked at me in shock.

"I know it's an odd request I know, I just get rather lonely. The only people I talk to are doctors and maids." I admitted seeing a small smile on his face.

"I'd be happy to accompany you." He said wiping his hands on his shirt and walking forward.

We began down the path towards the gardens as I breathed in the fresh air.

"Forgive me if I'm being rude, but may I ask what you're ill with?" James said making me turn to him and smile.

"Well, the doctors actually don't know. They're absolutely baffled by my condition." I explained as he nodded in response.

"It must get quite boring being in bed most days." He commented making me chuckle softly.

"It does, most definitely. I've tried to keep myself busy by writing. Although it's hard to find inspiration when all I see is my bedroom." I replied smiling a little as we continued.

James must have seen that I was beginning to struggle so he hooked his arm under mine to support me.

"Thank you, James." I replied making him smile in return.

"Please, my friends call me Bucky." He replied making me smile softly, I hadn't felt this at ease in a long time.

The doctors and nurses were nice but I was always just their patient.

It had been a long time since I had a friend.

"Well, then Bucky, it's lovely to meet you." I replied as we continued into the gardens.

I unlinked my arms and walked over to the fountains to sit down.

"So, Bucky. Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself." I requested as he sat beside me on the fountain.

"Not too much to tell, born into a farming family, went off to war, came back and realised I needed a job. So, I started travelling around to find jobs, then I found my way here and your husband graciously offered me a job and somewhere to live." He said while I smiled and listened to him.

"Is your family still alive?" I questioned as he smiled fondly.

"Yeah, they're still going well. I get letters here and there, mainly from my sister. How about you, other than your husband, do you have family?" He asked as my smile faded slowly.

"I just had my father, but when he died obviously I couldn't take over his money. It went to my uncle and I needed to find a husband, that's when I met my further husband, got married and got sick. It might be selfish to say but I'm glad I'm here being treated here and not somewhere on the streets." I replied watching Bucky listen.

"Pardon me if I'm being rude but do you plan on having a family of your own?" Bucky asked as I looked back at him.

"No, I've never been one to want a family with children. My body can't have children and my husband never wanted children so it was the perfect fit." I replied before I heard a noise and looked up to see the doctor.

"Y/N, I've been looking for you everywhere. You have to get back inside." He said as you sighed softly.

"But it's such a beautiful day out, the sun heals doesn't it?" I retorted making him roll his eyes.

"Back to bed." He said as I sighed and looked at Bucky.

"It was an absolute pleasure to meet you, Bucky. I hope to see you again soon." I said as he returned my smile.

"I'll be looking forward to it."

—

Once I Was back in bed the doctor came over with a needle containing a blue coloured liquid, usually the ones he gave me didn't have a colour.

"What are you giving me?" I questioned as he grabbed my arm a little too rough.

"You don't need to worry about that." He said before quickly injecting it into my arm.

I didn't even have tie to react before I had passed out cold.

—

Three weeks had passed and Bucky hadn't seen me again.

He saw a nurse coming out of the house and quickly rushed up to her.

"Excuse me, is the lady of the house alright? I have's seen her around for a long time." He said as she looked at him in fear.

"Well, the doctor said her condition worsened. She can't even get out of bed, the doctor is out today so she's sleeping." She replied as Bucky nodded.

"Okay, thank you." He replied before she left, he quickly snuck into the house and kept around until he got upstairs to see me lying lifeless on my bed, with various needles in my arms.

Something didn't feel right for him, he went up to the bed side table to see one of the needles and read the label.

He almost passed out just seeing the word.

"Oh no." He whispered, according to this label the liquid inside of this vile and inside my veins was a very dangerous and illegal sedative, one he had learnt about in hydra.

He quickly pulled it out of your arm and began getting everything off of me before he heard the click of a gun.

"If I were you I wound step away from my patient." A voice growled as he turned around to see the doctor.

"This stuff will kill her, she isn't sick at all. You're making her sick." Bucky growled standing up to face the doctor.

"I'm just following the instructions of her husband, who pays me very well to keep quiet." He replied as Bucky glared up him, while the doctor talked he reached behind him and grabbed the needle that was on the table.

He leapt forward and tackled the doctor, quickly injecting the strong sedative into his veins.

"Bucky?" He heard a voice whispered as I looked up to see him above my bed.

"Y/N, I'll explain later. But right now I need to get you out of here."

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Twitter ー Reiji Sakamaki [2021 Compilation]

–> This post includes all tweets posted on the official Rejet Twitter account for Reiji Sakamaki (@DialoverReijiS) in 2021.

Shuu l Ayato l Kanato l Laito l Subaru l Ruki l Kou l Yuma l Azusa l Carla l Shin l Kino

January 22, 2021

> Good grief, not just Ayato, but Subaru as well. I truly wish they would stop destroying the manor...

> I wonder if they do not realize that our household’s budget decreases, the higher the reparation costs get?

> No, I shall use this opportunity to make sure they understand once and for all.

> They will not get their favorite food nor any pocket money until they have finished all reparations by themselves. 

February 14, 2021 (Valentine’s Day)

> Thank you once again. I shall eat them since I have no other choice…Just kidding. Would you laugh if I were to admit that I look forward to your chocolates every year?

March 14, 2021 (White Day)

> Thank you very much for the Valentine’s Day chocolates. Putting in all of my skill, this is what I have prepared for you in return. I made these to fit your personal tastes, so please savor them thoroughly. Furthermore, I shall also treat you to a cup of this high-quality tea.

April 1, 2021 (April Fools)

> Press F in the chat.

T/N: The original expression used here is ぱおん. Which is based on Shuu’s ぴえん, but expresses an even stronger sense of sadness.

May 19, 2021

> Excuse me, how long will you keep on sleeping? I cannot believe I had to come pick you up...Good grief. 

> Listen carefully? As long as we live underneath the same roof, I shall not allow such a lazy attitude.

> A fine response. It appears that you understand who you belong to. 

> Well then, I shall make you a cup of my very own deluxe tea, so please go freshen up in the meantime. 

May 26, 2021

> From dance steps to the correct way to pour a cup of tea...I have taught you many things so far, have I not?

> I am the one who should thank you. After all, you have taught me a much more valuable lesson.

> Well then, do you understand what I’m referring to?

> Fufu, I suppose I will have to let you know sooner rather than later. 

June 18, 2021

> I am delighted to hear you enjoyed it...Although you could have dropped the ‘occasionally’. (@Carla)

> I do happen to own the sequel as well. Would you like to borrow it? (@Carla)

> Do you not think it is up to the demanding party to come get it? (@Calra)

July 7, 2021

> It is most likely the high humidity which has caused his hair to explode. He happens to have very fine, soft hair so it poofs more than it would for the average person. 

July 31, 2021

> I pray that I will get less complaints about my brothers from the teachers. #TanabataWishes

August, 2021

> Who tore off the curtain in the living room? 

> I can only assume Ayato is behind this...This is not the first time either. He shall not be forgiven. 

> He will not get any pocket money this month to cover for the reparation fee. 

August 29, 2021

> Honestly, I would have not been surprised if you had kept things simple this year, but you prepared thoroughly for the celebration. Thanks to you, I find myself very much looking forward to this day every year. Well then, my dear, please come here. Let us end the day in the best way possible. 

October 4, 2021

> I have been very much into rooibos tea as of late.

> I heard it also improves health and beauty.

> I shall pour you a cup as well next time. 

November 21, 2021

> Do you have a minute? There is something important I must tell you.

> This is a present for you. We have spent a very long time together, and said anniversary is approaching. I chose this especially for you from various other products. You will accept it, right?

December 23, 2021

> Oh dear, I cannot believe that even picking out presents has become something enjoyable to me, as long as I know I am choosing something for you.

December 24, 2021

> Did you enjoy Christmas? Well, it only makes sense you did, considering I have been secretly planning everything since quite some time ago. I am also very happy we were able to spend today together.

[lostinthewiind]

Piss Off Your Parents - Part 9

Ukai Keishin - Haikyuu

Synopsis: freshly turned 18, you want to prove to your parents that you aren’t a child for them to push around anymore. First, get a job at the local corner store. Second, use the store owner’s 26-year-old son with piercings and a cigarette addiction to piss your parents off. Third, accidentally fall in love.

Rating: PG13

Warnings: arguing, harsh language, swearing

Song → 18 by Anarbor

Previous → Part 8

Next → Part 10

The trek up the stairs from the store to the apartment felt like climbing a never-ending escalator that was going the wrong way. After the day you had had, you were both mentally and physically exhausted and ready to call it a night early.

Thankfully, as if you had finally hit a stroke of luck that day, Keishin had texted you saying that he would pick up dinner on the way home, saving you the exertion of having to leave the apartment again. So, with that information in mind, you kicked off your shoes for the day and fell unceremoniously onto the couch in the living room.

As you sat down, you heard the envelope in your back pocket crinkle and the sudden noise seemed to completely fill the otherwise silent apartment.

Ah yes, the envelope.

Pulling the decision to your future out of your back pocket, you stared at it for what felt like another hour or so. No matter how long you held the envelope in your hands, you couldn't force yourself to open it. You simply didn't want to.

At some point between when your mother had handed it to you and now, you had subconsciously decided that you wanted to choose your own path forward despite what the decision letter may or may not say.

Feeling strangely empowered and confident, you stood to your feet and ventured into the bedroom where you slipped the envelope into one of the drawers Keishin was letting you keep your clothes in and tucked it underneath one of your sweaters. Maybe one day you would open the damn thing when whatever was inside wasn't weighing so heavily on your mind and future, but today was not that day.

Just then, you heard the front door open and knew Keishin had arrived home. Closing the drawer, you plastered a smile across your face and exited the bedroom to greet your boyfriend.

"Welcome home, Dear," you giggled, trying your best to fake the part of a doting housewife. "How was the volleyball game?"

Keishin chuckled softly as you took the takeout bags from him. "It was a close game, but they pulled it together in the last set and won."

"Oh, good!" You placed the bags onto the table before retrieving some plates and chopsticks from the kitchen.

"How was your day?" he asked as he pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek.

You sighed as you thought back on your day. "It was okay," you answered, not really wanting to go into much more detail than that. You doubted Keishin wanted to hear about your minuscule problems with rude customers after the long day he had clearly had.

Keishin, however, picked up on your uncertainty right away. "Doesn't sound okay," he commented. "Want to talk about it?"

You shrugged. "Just some shitty customers. Seems I had forgotten how poorly low-level workers are treated sometimes . . . just threw me a little," you said. "I'll be fine. Just glad the day is over now."

"You and me both." He flashed a smile as he turned to head for the bedroom. "I'm just going to change quickly and then we'll eat."

"Sounds good." You started dishing out some of the food. "I was also thinking we could watch a movie tonight as well. I could use something to clear my mind."

"Sitting on the couch with a beer is an ideal evening in my book," you heard him respond faintly from the bedroom. "There's a new action movie that came out. I think it's about-"

You waited for Keishin to finish his sentence, but when he didn't, you cocked your head and looked toward the bedroom doorway. Before you had the chance to call out to him, he appeared in the doorway shirtless, eyebrows furrowed and the envelope from the university in his hand.

"W-why do you have that?" you asked, the look on his face upon discovering the letter making your heart drop. "That was in my drawer . . . why were you going through my things?"

"I was looking for my sweater, the one you always steal," he answered. "Y/N . . . what is this?"

Rounding the table and approaching Keishin, you snatched the envelope out of his hand. "That is one of the many reasons why my day today was so shitty."

As you turned to head for the kitchen to toss the envelope in the garbage and rid your life of it, Keishin followed you. "You didn't get in?" he inquired.

You shrugged. "I have no idea. I didn't open it."

As you moved to toss the letter into the trash, Keishin grabbed your wrist and stopped you. "Why are you throwing it out if you didn't open it yet?"

"Because I don't care what it says. I've decided that I'm going to stay here with you and work at the store. This is the life I want . . . the life I get to choose for myself."

"You should still open it," he reasoned. "You might change how you feel about it when you see the result."

"I don't want to change how I feel about it." You shook your head as you gently pried your wrist out of his grip. "No need to make things more difficult than they need to be. I've had enough difficulty for one lifetime, thank you very much. This decision is easy, and best of all, it makes me happy."

Gesturing to the envelope, Keishin sighed. "But this is what you wanted. When you told me about your dream to play soccer at the University of Tokyo, your face lit up. Why are giving up on your dream before you've even given yourself a chance to experience it?"

"Dreams can change, Keishin," you told him before sighing and deciding to humour him for a moment. "Okay, let's say I open this letter and somehow did get in. What then? I couldn't pay for that school in my wildest dreams; not without my parents' help. Sometimes dreams are just childish and unrealistic. So I found a new dream, one with us living here together."

"You could apply for student loans. Tons of people do." He folded his arms across his chest. "I don't think this is about the money or your parents. I think this is about us. You've gotten comfortable here."

Throwing your hands up into the air in exasperation, you huffed. "And so what if I have? Is that really so bad?"

"I just don't want you to throw away an opportunity like this over me."

"Over you?" you cocked a brow. "Because you're, what, trash? Not worth it? A lowlife? A burnout?"

Keishin bit at his bottom lip. "You know what's not what I meant."

Inhaling deeply, you glared down at the god-forsaken envelope in your hand and began to tear at the top. "Let's not fight about something that probably isn't even going to happen." You pulled the letter out and unfolded it, your eyes scanning the text quickly. "The University of Tokyo is notoriously difficult to get into and I-"

Keishin quirked a brow when you stopped mid-sentence. "What does it say?"

A broken laugh was the only thing you could manage as you lowered the letter and shook your head. "Un-fucking-believable." You handed the paper over to Keishin, the edge crumpled from where your grip had tightened when you read the decision.

Keishin looked at the page for all of two seconds before he found the bolded 'Congratulations' and a huge grin spread across his face. "You got in!" He was way more excited than you were about this. "This is good news. You can play soccer at the University of Tokyo. Come on, you can't tell me this doesn't make you at least a little happy."

"I wish it did," you answered honestly. "I wish it were that easy."

"It is! It can be." Keishin set the letter down on the counter and took your hands in his. "Student loans, part-time jobs, it's all possible. Sure, it might be a little tricky to work out, but it's totally possible."

When you didn't respond, Keishin hooked his fingers under your chin and tilted your head up to look at him. "Accept the spot at the university. Follow your dream," he told you.

". . . but I'll have to leave you." You felt the words catch in your throat and tried your hardest not to start crying. "You make me happy—you're the first thing that's made me genuinely happy in a long time—and I don't want to leave that for a chance at something that might not even work out."

"But what if it does work out? You don't know that it won't," he said softly. "Don't end up like me, looking back at your past and wondering what might have been if you had just chosen a different path. I know this might seem good enough for now, but how will you feel after ten or twenty years of working the same dead-end job for the same shit pay all while getting treated like shit by people who look down on you? Look at how one day of catering to pretentious assholes made you feel. Do you really want to live the rest of your life like that?"

"But what about you?" you asked, your voice shaky.

Keishin dropped his head, a few stray strands of hair falling into his face. Unlike that morning, when he had been asleep with loose hairs in his face, he looked annoyed and frustrated now. The bags under his eyes and tension lines on his forehead were a stark contrast to the soft, peaceful face you had woken up to that morning.

"Don't throw this away over me," he repeated. "Don't throw your future away over a 26-year-old burnout."

Lip quivering, you sucked in a deep breath. "I thought you were different . . . but you're just like everyone else."

Keishin eyed you. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You said I should make my own decisions and live my life how I wanted but it was all a facade." You slipped your hand out of his and took a step back. "In the end, you're just like everyone else . . . you think you have a right to plan my future for me without giving me a say in the matter. You want to tell me how to live my life just like my parents."

"How could you say that?" Keishin almost snapped but managed to collect his anger before he did. "All I want is what's best for you."

You scoffed as you wiped a tear from your cheek. "If I had a penny for every time I've heard that I'd have enough money to pay for the University of Tokyo and then you'd get your damn wish . . . I'd be gone."

"When did I ever say I wanted you gone? Why are you so adamant that going to Tokyo means we can't be together?"

"Why are you so against just letting me make my own decision about this?! Why do I have to go to play soccer at that fucking university and leave you? I don't want to leave you!"

"Why not? Why are you so damn hung up on someone like me?!"

"Because I love you!" The two of you froze in place the second those words left your mouth. Chest heaving from the shouting and high emotions, you snapped your mouth shut before you said anything else in the heat of the moment.

Eyes wide, Keishin stared at you like a deer in headlights. "You what?"

You debated whether or not you should repeat what you had said, but by then, the damage had been done. "I love you," you breathed. "And I know you told me not to fall in love with you . . . but I did. I fell hard and fast and now I'm stuck in you and I cannot possibly leave you so please stop asking me to."

You waited for what felt like an eternity for Keishin to say something, say anything. He opened his mouth a few times like he was about to, but nothing ever came out.

"Keishin . . ." You took a cautious step forward. "Please say something."

Keishin swallowed hard before looking you directly in the eyes. "If I said I didn't love you back, would you go?"

You felt your heart crack and the sensation of being punched in the gut spread throughout your entire body. "Is that what you're saying? You don't love me?"

"If I didn't, would you leave?"

You inhaled sharply. "If you look me in the eyes right now and tell me that you don't feel the same way that I do; that everything over the past few months has meant nothing to you, there would be no possible way I could stay in Miyagi," you answered truthfully. "If you tell me that you don't love me and that you never have, I would have no reason to stay in this prefecture."

Keishin's lips parted once more. "Y/N . . . I-" His brown eyes locked onto yours and you could feel what he was about to say even though he never did. "I . . . I can't do this right now."

With that, he brushed past you, grabbed a sweater from the bedroom and threw it on before storming out of the apartment, leaving you and the now cold takeout food alone.

Tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat, you turned to look over your shoulder at the decision letter sitting on the counter, practically taunting you.

You should have thrown the thing out the second your mom dropped it off. Or better yet, maybe you should have never made that deal with Keishin and applied for the university in the first place.

[marvel-fanfic-writer-8675]

Nothing to Tell Part 2

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Fluff, domestic shit, cursing, Tooth rotting fluff, did I say fluff? Yeah there’s fluff

Summary: reader and Bucky living their domestic life, like they deserve

You and Bucky found a nice cottage out where you wouldn’t be bothered by other people but still close enough to drive to town and the tower. You guys had saved up money from Shield, Bucky’s prisoner of war money, and you had started up selling baked goods at the farmers market once a week. It started as a hobby but everyone looked forward to the treats now.

Bucky was out fixing the fence that had broken in a storm a week ago that he was just now getting to, while you were fixing up some pies for the market and a special plum pie for Bucky. “Hey doll! Mmmm what smells good in here?” He tried to jokingly give you a hug because he was all sweaty and gross, you played along and gently pushed him away, “well it’s not you love, that’s for sure,” he faked taking offense and then ‘grumbled’ off to take a shower. He wasn’t really mad or upset, you both knew this, it happened every time he came in all sweaty.

He came back from his shower and you had pulled the pies out, “ooh! Is that a plum pie?” “That it is hon, and that one is just for you.” You booped his nose and he scrunched it up cutely. “Love ya doll,” he gave you a real hug and kiss then brought the pie to the table, and cut both you and him a slice.

~time jump~

You were packing up from a successful day at the market when Bucky came back with his basket full of goods he bought from the other booths. “Hey love,” you gave him a kiss, “did ya find anything interesting?” “Found a new, good looking sauce from Ms.Tye, she gave me a recipe to try for dinner with it.” You peeked in the bag and saw it, “looks yummy Buck, I can’t wait.” Out of the corner of your eye you saw a familiar dash of red hair, then noticed a tall man with a baseball cap. “Hey, Buck, are Steve and Nat supposed to visit today?” “No, I don’t think so, why?” “I thought I saw our friends, but I can’t find them now.” “Hm, weird doll, how about we head home and I’ll call ‘em and see?” You agreed and gave him a kiss, you walked hand in hand to Bucky’s motorcycle and strapped the basket onto the back of it, and drove home.

You noticed the door was slightly ajar and a few windows you had closed, were open. Bucky noticed it to and put you behind him, pulling out a gun from a thigh holster, you did the same. “Stay behind me doll, don’t know who it could be.” Bucky kicked the door open the remaining way and scanned the house. When he got to the living room he almost had a heart attack. “God don’t scare me like that punk! We thought Hydra had broken in.” He gave Steve a bro hug and you gave Nat a hug as well. “So what’s the special occasion?” Steve and Nat shared a worried look, “we kind of need your help,” Steve started, it was now yours and Bucky’s turn to share a look. “What’s up punk?” “We found a kid, in a Hydra base, she’s about 8 years old, and, she is a super soldier.” Bucky looked a mixture of astonished, angry and sad. You rubbed his back, seeing him fear what Hydra must have done to the poor little girl. “We need someone to watch her and we can’t at the tower so it’s either you guys or Fury wants to send her to a remote location where she won’t get to be around other kids and have a sort of normal life.” You immediately felt sympathetic, and knew you were on board with keeping the girl but you did need to converse with your husband. “Can you give us a minute?” Steve nodded at your request, and led him and Nat to a different room.

“We gotta do it doll, I- I can’t imagine what they did to her and she needs a home not some lab.” He looked at you, full of hope, wondering your opinion. “I agree Buck, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if we didn’t.” You both smiled, “looks like we’re gonna be parents Buck!” You chucked and Bucky joined in, “I already know you will be the best mom ever doll.” You both kissed and called Steve and Nat back in. “We’ll do it, just give us a day to get a room ready for her.” Bucky told his hopeful friend. Steve looked so ecstatic and agreed to the couple’s request. They then stayed for dinner, which you made the new recipe, it was delicious, and then they headed home. You and Bucky went to sleep, excitingly planning what you needed to buy tomorrow.

~time skip~

You spent all of yesterday shopping, buying clothes, stuffed animals, a bed, paint, etc. making the new room more child friendly and less, guest roomy. The girl’s name, you learned, was Becca and Bucky was even happier, he always wanted to name his daughter after his sister and now it had happened. You and Bucky already considered Becca your kid, you felt a connection to her, and she would be here in 3 hours. Just enough time to clean the house.

You were trying to dust something a little to high to reach, Bucky saw you struggling and lifted you up by the waist. When he put you down, you giggled and kissed him.

The car had just pulled up, you and Bucky waited nervously in your front lawn. Would she hate you? Remember the Winter Soldier doing something mean? All of these worries and more filled both of your heads. You knew she might be apprehensive at first, most adoptive kids were, and she had been through more than most other kids. “Hey guys!” Steve called out, holding a small girl’s hand, “Becca, this is Bucky and Y/N, they’re gonna take care of ya, alright? Don’t worry, Bucky’s like you and me, and Y/N is really nice and makes the best food.” Becca laughed a little, Bucky smiled and crouched down to her level. “Heya Becca, I’m Bucky.” “Hi! Woah! That’s a cool arm!” Bucky chuckled at the girl’s enthusiasm, he was delighted, Hydra hadn’t broken her spirit. “Yeah, it’s a little cold but you wanna touch it?” Becca enthusiastically nodded and touched the vibranium. She mumbled about how cool it was. She then turned to you, her smile bigger than ever, “are you my new mom? You’re really pretty! Mr. Steve and Ms. Nat told me all about your brave adventures and how smart and nice you are.” You laughed and nodded, also adding in how cool Nat and Steve were. Bucky then added on that he had lots of cool stories of him and Steve doing fun, stupid things like Steve throwing up on a roller coaster.

Steve left Becca after seeing you guys get along and it was now just the three of you. “You want to go see your room Becks?” You asked, and Becca’s eyes widened, “I get my own room?” Your heart broke a little, realizing she probably didn’t get a real room with Hydra. “Yeah, and it’s got lots of cool stuff in it!” Bucky encouraged, picking her up and running her into the house. “Alright it’s right behind this door, go ahead and open it!” She excitingly opened it, “WOAH! It’s so cool,” she ran around the room looking at everything, you stood at the doorframe with your husband, his hand wrapped around your waist. “I love it so much! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!” She ran and hugged you both, you saw Bucky start tearing up, he always dreamed of this.

That night you heard screams but they weren’t the normal screams you heard, Bucky’s when he had a nightmare here or there, they were Becca’s you realized! You shook Bucky awake and informed him quickly, running to Becca’s room. You both went to her bedside and soothed her, “hey Becks, it’s alright, we’re here now, you’re safe, it’s alright.” She calmed down, and shyly asked you to stay with her. You of course complied and the three of you squished into her bed, you’d luckily gotten a queen size so it wasn’t the most squished you’d been in a bed with Bucky. That award went to the one person sleeping bag you’d had in Tuscany on a recon mission gone wrong.

~huge time gap~

It was the day, Becca was graduating high school, she got accepted to a engineering program at a college a few hours away. She was inspired by Tony and Bucky’s stories of Howard. She was your only kid, you tried for more but it wasn’t in the cards. You did get the cat Bucky wanted, thanks to his and Becca’s puppy dog eyes, you caved.

You put together a book of all the memories and pictures you three had together for Becca to take to college. It included some of the best memories ever; Bucky threatening her first boyfriend her freshman year, her first birthday with you guys, where you ended up throwing cake at each other, Becca’s first failed test in 9th grade, where she came home crying and so you took her out for ice cream and told her, that one bad test grade isn’t the end of the world, you would help her study on the next one, and then you shared your story of failing your 9th grade Chemistry class because you blew up a table. There was also all the bedtime stories you would tell her, like the Coney Island story, that was her favorite, or the one of you and Uncle Clint having a mission where you pretended to be in the circus. Your all time favorite memory though, was the day you and Bucky officially adopted her, her 11th birthday, and it was also the day you adopted your cat, she picked them out, Alpine became the fourth member of your family.

“Have fun sweetie! Kick some ass for you old dad! And if any guy gives you trouble just use that move Aunt Nat showed ya! Give ‘em hell!” Bucky called out to your daughter as she got in her car to head to her first day on campus for the next few years. You slapped his arm for his comment and yelled to Becca, “don’t listen to your dad, I think you hit his head one to many times practicing that flip move, you’ll do great! Have fun, be sure to call!” She drove off, and you saw Bucky’s eyes start to water. “We still have the cat for you to baby, don’t worry Buck,” you wiped his tears and gave him a kiss. Bucky may have been sad his daughter was leaving the nest but he realized how happy he was now. He loved his dreams, he had it all, after his life had been turned upside down you came and turned it right side up and the Becca came and lifted it even higher up. Life was perfect and there was nothing anyone could tell that would make his life turn upside down again.

[loverrrgirl]

KISMET- Austin Butler x reader - PART 7

Warnings: contains talk of car accident, hospitals, etc. This will probably eventually contain smut but doesn’t yet. Minorsssss just don’t do it k?

My first fic! Please leave me feedback but be gentle I am soft.

Austin butler x reader

Here’s a masterlist

Love uuuu

Austin pulled in to a parking spot as close to the front as possible. He got out and opened the trunk to get my bags out. What a gentleman. I finished up texting my mom to find out what room to go to and got out of the car. He stood there holding my bags and he made sure not to forget my bag of tacos. He didn't miss a thing.

"Thank you so much, Austin. For everything. You've been so kind on a day where I really needed it. I appreciate you." I said, shyly.

"It was my pleasure, Stella. Can I carry your bags up for you?" He asked.

"Oh, it's okay. I think I need the entire walk to prepare myself. Thank you though, again. For everything. Can I venmo you gas money or pay you back for lunch?" I asked but I knew his answer. He would never let me.

And he chuckled at me for asking. "No, my treat. Really. I'll see you around Stella." He smirked as he said it.

I reached for my bags. Our hands lightly grazed as he handed them to me and I tried to ignore the mass of butterflies that formed in my stomach. I was going to be thinking about him for a long time, I could feel it.

"Okay, bye then." I said as I turned around to walk towards one of the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm no good at goodbyes. I wanted to turn around to see him one last time but I figured he was already back in his car, starting to pull out and head home. The place he's been looking forward to for weeks. He'd probably forget about me by the end of the day and I'd be another fan he did something nice for. And as much as that made me sad, I was okay with it. It was silly of me to think any of it meant anything more than a kind gesture. So I walked forward. I got this. Whatever it is, I got this. Even Austin said so. I'll get through it. One step at a time.

Austin's Point of View

I wanted to run out after her but I decided to wait for our food. I didn't want her to be without it for whenever she felt hungry later. She'd have to eat eventually.

I knew what it felt like to go to a hospital and face seeing your family in a state you never thought you'd have to see them in. I understood why she couldn't get the food down. And all I wanted to do was pull her in to a hug so that maybe she didn't feel so alone. I can't explain why I felt so connected to her, or why I wanted to spend my whole day with her. There was just something about her that I couldn't put my finger on quite yet. But I was soaking in every beautiful moment.

I knew I wanted to see her again after today, but I was still formulating how to ask her that without seeming insensitive to her situation. While I was waiting for our food, I took the opportunity to write my phone number on the back of the receipt from our lunch. Then the ball would be in her court. If she wanted to talk to me while she was here then she could. I didn't want her to feel pressured. Along with my number, I left a note that said "I hope to see you again soon. Have a good birthday. -Austin" and now I just had to find the right time to give it to her.

My manager is going to kill me for this. I'm not supposed to give my number to people I don't know. And I usually never would. In fact, I've never done it before. She's different. I can't help myself.

The food arrived and I asked for a box immediately, along with some foil to keep the tacos contained for her. I bagged everything up and headed out to the car.

As I walked up, I could see her sitting in the front passenger seat. Her eyes were closed and her head was resting against the headrest. A piece of her light brown hair fell in front of her face and I could see the remnants of a tear on her cheek. I wanted nothing more than to climb in and wipe her tears. She was so damn beautiful and I don't think she had any idea how beautiful was. She had taken her sweater off and the way the sun peaked through the clouds and shined through the window made her skin glow. Her cheek bones, the tip of her cute little nose, the golden highlights throughout her hair, and her collar bones were accentuated in this light. I just wanted to drink her up.

I realized I should probably get in before she realized I was standing out here staring at her. So I tapped on the window, a little sad to be breaking the view that I had. But I also needed to check on her. She wasn't doing well.

I startled her.

Dammit. She's cute when she jumps though.

She unlocked the door.

"Hey. Sorry it took so long. They brought our food and then I wrapped everything up and put it in a bag for you. You might feel hungry later." I said, feeling silly for explaining myself while I carried the bags of food I was just talking about. God, she makes me nervous. "How're you doing?" I asked.

"I just thought about the hospital and how I should be there and I got very overwhelmed. I'm

sorry to have left suddenly like that but I didn't want to

cause a bigger scene than I probably did." She said nervously. I could tell she felt embarrassed. Which was silly, she had no reason to feel like that given the situation she was in.

"You don't have to apologize. Today is a hard day and

it makes sense to feel scared about it. Let's get you to

your family." I reassured her, or tried to anyways by reaching over and lightly squeezing her forearm that sat delicately on my center console. I wanted to rub my thumb across her cheek and tell her she was okay. But I knew she didn't feel okay, and we had only just met today. There's just something about her. I definitely couldn't give her my phone number now. It would be way too insensitive.

We sat for a while, in comfortable silence after I pulled out of the parking lot and continued the drive. We didn't have much longer now. I didn't want her to think that she made me not want to talk to her anymore. And I figured talking about anything besides where she was going would be an easy conversation. "So you said your house is a 15 minute bike ride from

the beach? Which beach?" I asked. Yeah, that question would do I guess. That's the best you could come up with Austin? What is going on?

She told me about how she grew up riding her bike to Laguna Beach. I wish she could have seen the way her cheeks filled with color and her eyes lit up when she talked about something she enjoyed. It was so precious. I couldn't tell her or she'd become conscious of it and stop doing it. I told her about the beach I always chose to go to when I went. It was more secluded. I like all things that way, more secluded. More personal. More meaningful. Life is too short to not enjoy things deeply like that.

As I made my last few turns I wanted to comfort her. To tell her everything will be okay even though I wasn't sure if it would be. I wanted to tell her I'd be there for her if she wanted. I didn't know how that would be received. But I couldn't not say anything. I caught myself rubbing my bottom lip with my thumb. I've been doing that a lot today around her. "I just wanted to tell you that you got this. And whatever happens, you're strong. And you'll get through it. I just know it." I said in the most comforting tone I knew how. Hopefully she didn't think it was too much. She didn't respond but her face softened some when I said it. Damn I wish we weren't meeting like this.

I got out of the car to get her bags for her. She pulled out her phone to text her mom that she was there. I decided this was the only shot I'd have. I pulled the receipt with my number on it out of my pocket and tucked it through the zipper of her suitcase. I'm no good at this, not being the one to decide if we'd ever speak again. I knew I'd be thinking about her for a long time after this. Wondering how she is, how things are going for her family. I wanted to know more about her so badly but I had to leave it up to her.

I heard the passenger door open so I quickly made sure the zipper was closed all the way back up. She came around the corner and said "Thank you so much, Austin. For everything. You've been so kind on a day where I really needed it. I appreciate you." Almost in a way where she wasn't sure if she should be saying so much. She was so genuine.

"It was my pleasure, Stella. Can I carry your bags up

for you?" I was struggling to let her go to do this by herself. I wanted to be there for every part of this for her.

"Oh, it's okay. I think I need the entire walk to prepare

myself. Thank you though, again. For everything. Can I

venmo you gas money or pay you back for lunch?" She asked. She was looking up at me with her sparkling green eyes and she was so god damn cute. I couldn't help but chuckle. I would never let her pay for anything ever again if the opportunity arose. She had no idea.

"No, my treat. Really. I'll see you around Stella." I said, hoping that speaking the words out loud would bring them into existence. She reached for her bags and as I handed them off, our hands brushed and it was like electricity. I was burning inside with thoughts of what I would feel if we did see each other again.

She nervously bit the bottom of her lip before quickly saying "okay, bye then." And just like that, she turned around and walked away. I don't know what I expected in saying goodbye but it wasn't that. And I audibly laughed once she was far enough away to not hear me. Wow. So. God. Damn. Cute. I had hoped she would look back so I could wave at her one last time, to tell her she could handle whatever was about to come her way. But she didn't, and now I was really beginning to think she wouldn't care to see me again. I watched her walk all the way in before finally getting back in my car. And although she was sad and scared, she walked with pride and purpose. And she was radiating beauty while she did it.

These next few weeks are going to be torture waiting to see if she calls me. What have I done?

***A/N*** okay but do we think she's gonna find the note? Or what???

[sgstories123]

Daddy-O

“Daddy-O! Thanks for picking us up.” Charlene threw her bags of shopping into the front seat of the gleaming blue BMW before joining her friend Rachel at the back of the car.

Mr Tan just smiled at her 18 year-old daughter. He is a successful businessman but he has spent so little time on his family that his wife left him a couple of years ago. Since then, he swore to spend more time on his daughter and less time making money. So when his daughter wanted him to fetch her home from a shopping trip, he cancelled his meetings for the day and left to pick her up.

Mr Tan looked at the rear view mirror. He knew Rachel. She was one of Charlene’s shopping buddies and had been to their house several times. She looked a bit like Charlene and can easily be mistaken to be her sister or cousin. Both were about the same height of 1.7metres and spotting a slim and slender frame. They both enjoyed water sports and so both were tanned with perhaps Rachel being slightly darker with slightly larger breasts than Charlene. Their mannerisms were quite similar too. Both were now giggling at some jokes and flicking their long hair back as they threw their heads back in laughter.

“What did you buy, girls?” Mr Tan asked from the front of the car.

“New bikinis,” Charlene replied immediately. “We are having a weekend pool party so we bought new outfits. And, Daddy-O, there was this beautiful designer bag that I just got to have. It costs a bomb but I don’t think you will mind, right?”

“Of course not. Anything for my daughter,” smiled Mr Tan.

“Rachel wanted it too but she spent all her money on the bikinis. She…oh wait.” Charlene stopped talking and looked intently at the message on her handphone.

“Shucks! I forgot that we are supposed to meet our lecturer for the group project discussion today. I am going to be so screwed.” Charlene whined. “Daddy-O, can you drop me off at school?”

“Oh. Shall I accompany you to school then?” Rachel asked.

“No. That is not necessary. I will be done in about an hour or so. Why don’t you head back to my house and wait for me?” Charlene replied without looking up from texting an excuse to her study group.

A few minutes later, Mr Tan dropped Charlene off at her school. “See you later, Rachel!” Charlene shouted before closing the car door and waving a quick good-bye to her father.

Mr Tan drove back to his condominium with Rachel in his car. He had never spent time alone with Rachel before as Charlene was always around. He found her to be quite charming. They shared a couple of jokes and laughed together happily. Looking at her through the rear mirror, he realised that she was quite pretty and attractive.

Once they reached his home, he opened the door to his condominium unit and invited Rachel in. “You have been here several times. Make yourself at home.” He left the shopping bags on the sofa. “Looks like you girls have been busy cleaning up the shops,” he smiled. “There are drinks in the fridge. Help yourself.”

Rachel went into the kitchen while Mr Tan sat down in on the sofa and switched on the television. He was feeling a little tired. “Do you want me to get you something, Uncle?” Rachel called from the kitchen.

“Oh, thanks! Can you get me a beer?” Mr Tan called out, surfing for a good Netflix movie.

He heard a Rachel coming out of the kitchen with two cans of beer in her hand. She set a can on the table and opened the other. The beer foamed out of the can, leaving a trail on the side of the can. Rachel instinctively licked the side of the can, stretching her pink tongue over the can. She pursed her lips and sipped off the excess beer. Mr Tan found that extremely erotic and his cock got hard, making an uncomfortable dent in his pants.

“Oops. Sorry about that. Here’s your beer, Uncle.” Rachel handed the can to Mr Tan. He took a sip, knowing that he just drank Rachel’s saliva mixed with the beer.

Rachel opened her own can of beer and again, the beer foamed out of the can. This time, it dripped onto her t-shirt, making a tiny dark patch on her breasts. Rachel licked the can again and this time, Mr Tan looked more intently at her tongue, imagining how it would feel if it was on his hard, warm cock instead of the cold, metallic can.

“Gosh. I am so careless. I need to wash this.” Rachel sighed. She took off her t-shirt, revealing a white bra covering a pair of perfect, round breasts. She walked into the kitchen to wash her t-shirt and returned to Mr Tan, still in her bra.

Mr Tan tried to appear nonchalant and not look at Rachel. “I didn’t know you drink beer. I thought young girls will go for Coke or something like that.”

“Nah. I drink beer once in a while. It is relaxing.” Rachel looked at Mr Tan. “Don’t worry. Charlene is not a beer person. She is a good girl.” Rachel laughed and reassured Mr Tan.

“No, you misunderstood me. I am not saying that drinking beer is bad. Just surprised. That’s all.” Mr Tan blushed in embarrassment.

“Are you blushing? Gosh, that’s so cute.” Rachel giggles. That made Mr Tan blushed even more. Was it the beer?

“Here, let me show you what we bought today.” Rachel reached over Mr Tan to grab a shopping bag. Mr Tan could feel Rachel’s breast resting on his chest. His cock was harder than ever and he hoped Rachel will not notice.

Rachel pulled out a red bikini. “Nice? Let me wear it for you.” She stood up and removed her bra, exposing her bare breasts. Mr Tan caught a quick glimpse of small, pinkish nipples before they disappeared behind the red bikini. Rachel pulled off her pants, revealing matching white panties. These were pulled off and for a short while, Mr Tan caught sight of a small triangle of pubic hair and a faintly visible slit before they were covered up by the red bikini again.

“Nice?” Rachel asked again? Mr Tan looked at the 18-year old girl, dressed in a red bikini that showed off her cleavage well. Rachel’s tanned, athletic and slender legs were made even sexier in the little red thong that Mr Tan knew barely covered her privates.

“Yes. Very sexy. I am sure all the boys would be attracted by you.” Myself included. Mr Tan thought to himself. Trying to shift his thoughts elsewhere, he asked “What is this bag that Charlene liked so much?”

“Oh. It is the latest model. Very pretty. Here, let me show you.” Rachel rummaged through the shopping bags before taking out a small, squarish blue bag out of a box.

Rachel caressed the bag lovingly, her eyes not leaving it for even a second. “I wished my dad was as generous as you, Uncle. I would have loved to have this bag too. Imagine if Charlene and I both went shopping with this bag.” Rachel sighed.

Rachel put away the bag in its protective case carefully before returning to her seat next to Mr Tan. She continued sipping her beer and watching the television, seemingly lost in thought.

She turned around and looked at Mr Tan. “Uncle, if I am your daughter, will you treat me like Charlene and buy me whatever I want?”

“Of course! Why not?” Mr Tan replied. “You are so pretty. Any daddy will want to spoil you with gifts.”

“Then, can you be my daddy and buy me gifts?”

“What do you mean? Adopt you?” Mr Tan was confused.

“Ha ha!” Rachel laughed. “That’s funny. I mean be my sugar daddy. Let me show you what I can do.”

Without waiting for his response, Rachel leaned forwards and unbuckled Mr Tan’s belt. Her fingers brushed on his hard cock. She turned up to look at Mr Tan with surprise. “Gosh! Are you already hard?”

She unzipped his pants, revealing Mr Tan’s hard cock straining against his underwear. She pulled down the underwear, releasing his cock. Finally, Mr Tan’s cock was free from the confines of his underwear.

“You have a nice, thick cock, Daddy.” Rachel was going with the flow now. “Can I please suck it, Daddy?”

Mr Tan did not know how to react. Here was a sexy young girl in a red bikini offering him a blowjob but this young girl was also his daughter’s friend.

“Pretty, please, Daddy? I promise to be good.” Rachel whined in the most innocent and seductive voice. Mr Tan heard himself say “Yes, be a good girl and suck on my cock.” Did he say that? He seemed to be in a daze.

Rachel need no further encouragement. She spit on the head of the cock and using her tongue, she smeared the saliva all over the cock, lubricating it. Slowly, she engulfed the head of the cock, pressing her lips tightly on the tip and drawing a sigh of pleasure from Mr Tan. Her left hand stroked the shaft slowly, drawing seductively lines along the length of the cock. Her right hand cupped his balls, squeezing them gently. Occasionally, she will gently scratch the base of his cock, just behind the balls with her fingers, making Mr Tan gasped in pleasure.

Slowly, she drew in more of his cock, all the while sucking and maintaining pressure on his cock. Finally, she had swallowed his whole cock in her mouth, with the tip of his cock touching the back of her mouth. She continued sucking with her left hand now alternating between squeezing the base of his cock and jerking it.

Mr Tan was moaning in pleasure from the blowjob. Rachel was very good at this. He held on to her head, guiding her to enhance his pleasure. Once Rachel had his whole cock in her mouth, he knew he could not hold back any further. He felt his balls tighten and shot his load into her mouth. Instead of pulling away, Rachel continued to suck and squeeze every drop of his cum. When she was done, she pulled away and smiled seductively at Mr Tan. She opened her mouth to show him his cum in her mouth, before swallowing everything in one gulp.

Rachel got up and sat on Mr Tan’s lap. She leaned over and whispered seductively into Mr Tan’s ear. “Thank you, Daddy.”

Mr Tan’s cock stiffened again, pushing against Rachel’s ass. Rachel turned and smiled when she saw the hard cock.

“Rachel is a bad girl. Rachel did not do a good job. Please punish Rachel, Daddy. Stick your hard cock into Rachel. Make Rachel cry out in pain, Daddy.” Rachel cried.

She grabbed Mr Tan’s cock with one hand, stroking it to its full hardness. With the other hand, she pulled apart her red thongs, exposing her love hole. With one practiced movement, she guided Mr Tan’s cock into her cunt.

Mr Tan groaned in pleasure as his cock pushed swiftly into the tight, young vagina. As Rachel started to ride on Mr Tan’s cock, she removed her bikini top, offering her bare breasts to Mr Tan. He did not resist the offer, squeezing both breasts with his hands, licking and sucking each pink nipple in turn.

Rachel was also moaning in pleasure. Mr Tan had a thick cock so it was stretching and filling her cunt, sending orgasmic pleasure through her. She grind herself on his cock, moving forwards and upwards, increasing her pace as her pleasure intensified.

“Do you want to be my sugar daddy? Can you buy me whatever I want?” Rachel grunted softly into Mr Tan’s ear as she rode him. “Yes, be my daughter. I will buy you whatever you want.” Mr Tan panted, his shirt now drenched in his sweat.

Rachel hugged Mr Tan tightly. “Thank you, Daddy. I love you.” She wrapped her legs around Mr Tan, positioning herself at an angle so that Mr Tan’s cock could enter her even more deeply. She increased her pace, squeezing Mr Tan’s cock with her cunt as tightly as she could. Mr Tan could not hold back any more. With a grunt, he shot his second load into Rachel, hugging her as tightly as he could as his little soldiers charged into the tight chamber.

They held each other for a while until Mr Tan’s cock became soft and plopped out of Rachel’s cunt. Rachel gave Mr Tan a kiss on the lips. “Thank you, Daddy.” She got up and sperm trickled down her legs. “I need to take a bath.”

“Follow me.” Mr Tan led Rachel into the common toilet. “Let’s take a bath together,” he suggested.

As Mr Tan showered Rachel, his hands roamed all over her body, caressing her smooth young skin and enjoying the touch of the contours of her tight, muscular body. His cock became hard again.

“Daddy, are you hard again?” Rachel asked innocently.

Mr Tan’s lust overcame him. He needed to fuck this girl again. “Come with me.” He pulled Rachel out of the toilet and into Charlene’s room. He took a towel and dried both of them hurriedly. Seeing one of Charlene’s large t-shirt on a chair, he took it and put it on Rachel. “Don’t catch a cold. Now lie face down on Charlene’s bed with your ass facing me.”

Rachel thought that perhaps Mr Tan was into SM. Was he going to spank her bottom?

“Is Rachel a bad girl? Don’t spank me, Daddy.” Rachel role-played as well as she could.

“You are now Charlene, not Rachel.” Mr Tan replied.

Rachel got it immediately. Mr Tan is living out an incest fantasy. She mimicked Charlene’s mannerism. “Daddy-O. I am such a naughty girl.”

Mr Tan’s cock hardened immediately when he heard the term “Daddy-O” used by Charlene. He hugged Rachel from behind, sniffing at Charlene’s scent from her t-shirt.

“Daddy-O. Fuck me! I want you to fuck me!” Rachel cried.

Mr Tan grabbed his cock with one hand and with the other parted Rachel’s cunt. Overcome with lust, he did not bother with foreplay but forced his cock into the tight hole in one swift stroke. He pumped Rachel furiously from behind, leaning forward to squeeze her breasts and taking in deep breaths of Charlene’s scent, all the while imagining that he was fucking his own daughter.

Rachel was swept up by Mr Tan’s animal lust and lost herself in her pleasure. She remembered her role though and occasionally moaned “Fuck me, Daddy-O!” for Mr Tan’s pleasure.

Mr Tan increased his pace and hugged Rachel even more tightly. Minutes later, he came a third time into Rachel. He turned Rachel’s head upwards for a kiss. “Don’t tell anyone and I will buy you whatever you want. When we are alone, your name is Charlene.” 

[dragon-kazansky]

Made with love | Helmut Zemo

Chef Zemo AU! 👨‍🍳

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 2

The next morning, after finding somewhere to grab some breakfast, Escorpión Morado not being open until later, you had explored some more of the city. You managed to cross off a few other places on Wanda's list.

There was a really pretty park in the middle of a residential area that you took a walk through. It looked so different from the rest of the city, it was nice.

There was something so homey in this city. Bakeries where the smell of warm pastry dragged through the doors, families walking and laughing in the streets. When you returned to the square, there were stalls set up, and many of the shops around were open. You decided to browse and see, maybe you could find a souvenir.

There were all kinds of trinkets and gadgets on the stalls. You spent most of the time just admiring them.

One stall, rather close to Escorpión Morado, had lots of small trinkets on necklaces. You stood over it and admired them, one in particular catching your eye. You pick it up and admire it.

It's a coin. An old coin. You turn it over in your hand, running your thumb across it.

"It's an old Sokovian coin."

You turn at the sound of the voice, smiling when you saw it was Helmut. He was smiling handsomely at you, you hoped it wasn't showing on your face that you were thinking that.

"It's quite pretty," you say, looking back at the coin.

Helmut hands the stall owner some money, you want to ask what's he's doing, but it's quite obvious as to what he was doing. He turns to you and takes the necklaces from your hand.

"Turn around."

You do as he says. Helmut puts the necklace on for you. You look down at the coin hanging over your chest.

"There you go."

"You didn't have to do that," you say, looking back up at him. He shrugs and looks at you, seemingly quite smug that he had spent money on a stranger.

"You said it was pretty."

"It is, but that wasn't code for 'buy it for me.'"

He chuckles.

"Would you like some coffee?" He asks, completely ignoring your statement.

"Uh, sure."

He gestures to the open doors of his restaurant. You thank the stall owner and walk with Zemo into Escorpión Morado. He leads you over to a table and then leaves your side to go behind the bar.

You get comfortable and watch as he makes some coffee for you both. It's quiet right now, so you assumed he didn't mind doing this.

Zemo returns. He places a cup in front of you and sits down opposite you. He smiles and looks at you intently. You narrow your gaze at him, but understand he's waiting for you to try the coffee. You pick up the cup, blown it lightly, it was freshly made after all, and take a sip.

You smile at him.

"Well?" He asks, grinning.

"That's good."

"Just good?"

"Amazing. The food, the coffee, the atmosphere, everything here is so good," you chuckle.

Zemo looks pleased with your answer.

"I'm glad to hear that. I do my best to impress," he winks at you. You glance down, feeling rather shy, and sip your coffee again.

You have no idea why he made you feel like a teenager with a crush. This man you hardly knew and have only known two days has all the power to make you feel shy.

Wanda was only teasing you yesterday, right? Of course she was.

Helmut placed his arms on the edge of the table and leaned forward a little bit. You were fighting to not look at his arms which were on view again, trying not let how strong they looked get to you.

"How is my country treating you?" He asks, sounding genuinely curious. Though you supposed he was used to speaking like that. He seems like someone who has ease getting along with others. He must meet so many different people every day.

"Sokovia is wonderful. I'll be sad to leave it when I go."

"When do you leave?"

"I'm only booked in for two more nights, then I'll be on my way to see more of Europe."

"What a shame that your stay is so short," he says, rather solemnly.

"My intentions are to travel as much as Europe as I can. Though I will be returning home soon. I'm here for my friend."

"Ah yes, you did say as much."

You drink what's left of your coffee, missing it already. Everything this man makes leaves you wanting more.

"Would you like another?"

You look at your cup.

"Maybe just one more," you say shyly, biting your lip. It was as if he was able read your mind. He chuckled and took your cup, going to make you both another cup.

Since it was so quiet in here right now, you hoped me wouldn't mind you speaking up to chat with him. Normally you would be so anxious to do that.

"I hope I'm not being too much trouble for you. It's quiet now, but I'd hate to be keeping you from your work."

He smiled over at you.

"No trouble. I am always happy to have at least one person in here. Though with the market in town, I am sure to be busy later."

"I'll be sure to be out of your hair by then," you say, smiling.

"No need to rush off," he comes back, two freshly made coffees in his hand. He puts one down in front of you, just like before, and then sits down across from you again.

"I could spend all day in here," you tell him, unable to admit that to him while looking him in the eye.

"You are welcome to," he sips his coffee.

You watch him for just a moment.

"I'll only get in your way."

"Nonsense, you?"

"Yes, of course I will. Sitting here, taking up a table. You expect to be busy, don't you?"

"I do, but you can sit up at the bar."

"You sound like you want me to stay," you laugh softly.

"Is that so bad?" He asks, eyebrow raised and grin on his face.

"Isn't it weird? We met yesterday. Are you like this with everyone you meet?" You narrow your eyes at him.

"I told you yesterday, only with the interesting ones." He finishes his coffee and sits back in the chair, hands resting on his knees as he looks at you.

"Flatter me all you like, it's not working," you say, drinking the last of your coffee and standing up.

"You'll be back."

"We shall see," you grab your things, leave some money on the table, and make your leave.

He watches you go.

Sam comes out from around the back, adjusting his sleeves. He sees Zemo staring at the open door, two empty cups on the table in front of him.

"Missing them already?"

Zemo turns his head and looks at Sam, his expression unreadable. Slowly, he rises from the chair, tucks it back under the table, and grabs the two cups.

"Mind your own business Sam, we have things to do today."

Sam would resist mentioning that despite that statement being true, Helmut had literally just sat down with you chat and drink coffee.

Zemo took the cups into the back to clean.

You walked across the square and decided to head back to your hotel room for a bit.

Wanting to prove the handsome chef wrong, you didn't go back to the restaurant the next day, and almost didn't go the day after, but changed your mind. Your flight was in a few hours, you would be leaving Sokovia behind.

You had taken many photos for Wanda. She would be pleased with seeing her country again.

Now it was your final day and the least you could do was say bye to him. He had been so friendly to you.

You enter the restaurant. It's busier today. The staff are working hard to see to everyone. You don't see Helmut out front, he must be in the back.

This wasn't really a huge deal anyway. You grab a a piece of paper from a notebook you keep on you, and scribble out a note. Nothing too long, just a little thank you. A man comes over, asking if he can get you something.

You smile at him. He's tall, dark hair, blue eyes. Does everyone who works here look this good?

"I'm good actually, could you give this to the owner for me?" You hand over the folded note, Helmut's name written neatly on it. The man takes it from you and nods, putting it in his pocket for now. You thank him and leave.

You felt a little sad you didn't to see him, but he was busy. It wouldn't matter anyway. He would soon forget you, and you would probably forget about him in time.

Your flight leaves on time and you're on your way to complete the last of your trip.

Zemo is sweating when he exits the kitchen, wiping at his brow with a towel. He steps out back for a bit of fresh air. The cool breeze is a welcome feeling as he takes a deep breath. It has been non stop today.

You hadn't come in the last couple of days. He had noticed. Helmut had been keeping an eye on who was coming and going just in case you came back. He wanted to talk to you some more. He hadn't realised just how many days it had been.

Bucky pushed open the door and looked around, upon seeing Zemo standing there, he approached him, letter in hand.

"This was left for you."

Helmut looks up and narrows his gaze on the letter. He takes it from Bucky and opens it, looking at the rather rushed handwriting. He could tell this was written last minute.

Dear handsome restaurant owner,

How sad I am that I missed you, but you were working away so hard in your kitchen. I must say it was thrilling to see your restaurant so full of people.

I return home today. I was hoping to see you once more before my flights, but alas, it was not meant to be.

Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your country and for sharing your wonderful food. I will tell all my friends about it.

I don't know if or when I'll be back, but I hope that if i find myself in Sokovia again, I'll be finding myself at your restaurant.

See you, maybe.

Y/N

He smiled at your letter. You had been here and he missed you because he was busy cooking. He almost hated how that worked out. He folds your letter and tucks into his pocket. Bucky doesn't ask about it as he goes back inside.

Helmut chuckles to himself.

He can only hope fate brings you back his way. His new favourite customer.

Wanda was at the airport to pick you up after your European trip came to an end. She hugged you tightly as you got closer to where she was waiting. She was smiling. Wanda had missed you.

"You have to tell me all about it!" She insisted.

"Where do I even begin?" You chuckle, looping your arm with hers as you walked to the car.

"Sokovia, obviously." Wanda takes your bag and puts it into the car. You climb in and wait for her to start driving before speaking.

"I went to several countries before I got there," you chuckle.

"But Sokovia is the most important. I want to hear about that man you met," she smiles, eyeing you from the drivers seat.

"What about him?"

"Exactly, tell me everything. I want to know about your little romance."

"There wasn't a romance."

"Well, whatever it was, I want to know."

"I made a friend. That's all. I told you about him. Helmut Zemo, he owns his fathers restaurant now."

"Ah yes, you didn't answer my question properly. Was he cute?"

"Yes. Cute, handsome, charming. This man has it all."

"And he can cook," she grinned. "Husband material."

"Shut up, Wanda." You shake your head at her, smiling softly.

Your hand raises to the necklace you were wearing, remembering him fondly. You were missing him.

You were missing a perfect stranger.

@namethathasnotbeentaken @belle82devart @cathrin2405 @lieutenantn @wilder-fangirl @latenightartist-author @lucky-luck-lucky @hb8301 @charistory @thatoneartgalsstuff @thesuitkovian @malkaviangirl @zemosimp420 @realremyd @the-chaotic-cow @lostghostgirl94 @zafiro-draco @lazygurl05 @pinkcutiepiee @goddessofmischief03 @whovianayesha @myybebe @awesomesauce-abbie @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @zemo-is-my-muse @nonamec0s @apparrio @scuttle-buttle

[hopelesshawks]

Love and Admiration Part 7- Drinks

18+ Bakugo x fem!pro hero reader

Summary: (Y/n) has known Bakugo since middle school, admired him since high school, and had a crush on him since the first time they met. Even now, a top pro hero in her own right, she can’t shake her school girl crush. Too bad Bakugo literally has no idea she exists. Well that’s not entirely true… He does know pro hero Mercury exists, but (y/l/n) (y/n)? Never heard of her.

Warning for male masturbation

Masterlist Help Lulu <3

You must have cycled through half a dozen different outfits before you finally settled on one you liked: a careful balance of sexy and comfortable after a long day of hero work. You’ve only been to Masahiro’s once before but it’s a nice enough place and the drinks are good. You spend a stupid amount of time putting on makeup and then double, triple, and quadruple checking how you look in the mirror before you finally head out.

It’s an easy train ride into downtown, a few people recognize and stop you to ask for an autograph or words of wisdom or advice. It’s a surreal experience, sure your popularity has been exploding lately but it’s still odd to be treated as a celebrity. As you walk past a billboard of yourself advertising athleticwear it occurs to you that you kind of are a celebrity. Your train of thought is interrupted by Masahiro’s coming into view. You hurriedly duck into the bar, it’s pretty empty on a Thursday night so it doesn’t take you long to spot Bakugo. He, of course, looks incredible. He’s got on a plaid over shirt that he’s rolled up to his elbows, impressive forearms on display. The black tee he wears beneath it stretches tightly over his muscular chest. He’s sitting at the bar top but you can still appreciate the way his jeans hug his legs. He’s scowling down at his phone, having not noticed your entrance, and it shouldn’t be an attractive expression but somehow on him it just is. You take a deep steadying breath as you steel your nerves, trying to calm down your racing heart as you walk over towards him.

“Where are the others?” Bakugo’s head snaps up at the sound of your voice, eyes connecting with yours. “They bailed,” he scoffs, his annoyance clear in his voice. You hum in acknowledgment but then lean against the bar to flag down the bartender. Bakugo watches you curiously, only now properly taking in your appearance. You look good, he’ll admit. In the back of his head a voice that sounds suspiciously like Denki corrects him that you look hot. It’s his first time seeing you in civilian clothing, he realizes, and you wear it well. He’s still trying to decide whether he prefers you in your civilian clothes or hero costume when you finally get the bartender’s attention and the sound of your voice snaps Bakugo out of his trance. His ears go slightly pink when he realizes his train of thought and he quickly shakes his head as if doing so will physically dislodge the thought from his brain. He decides to instead focus on whatever you’re talking to the bartender about. “An order of your finest saké please, and just keep the bottles coming until we ask you to stop,” you tell the bartender with a grin. Bakugo is about to stop you, it’s a ludicrous fucking request considering the astronomical price tag that will surely come with it, but then you finish your sentence. “Oh and would you mind putting it on Chargebolt’s tab? He wanted to treat us to celebrate our big bust today but had to bail cause of work stuff. Y’know how pro hero work is,” you continue. “Of course! No problem Mercury, I’ll get right on that,” the bartender tells you before whisking off to fulfill your request.

As you get comfortable in your seat you find Bakugo giving you a slightly impressed look to which you respond with a shrug. “If he’s gonna bail on us the least he can do is let us get plastered on his money. If the bill gets too ridiculous we’ll switch to one of the other flakes’ tabs,” you reply with a grin. To your delight, Bakugo’s mouth stretches into an amused smirk as he chuckles. “Well played Mercury, well played,” he tells you as the bartender brings over the first bottle and fills two small glasses for you both. “We’re off duty, at least call me (y/l/n),” you tell him with a roll of your eyes. “Well then (y/l/n), let’s make dunce face’s fucking wallet hurt,” Bakugo tells you, grin almost feral as he takes his glass and holds it up. “I’ll drink to that,” you grin before raising your own. The two of you cheers before quickly drinking down the contents of your cups, probably too quickly considering the quality it, and then pour yourselves another round.

Fast forward a few hours and you both have had way too much to drink. Your laughter is too loud, your grins too wide, but neither of you seems to care and after one person had tried to tell you to quiet down and Bakugo nearly ripped their head off no one else has made an attempt. Bakugo genuinely didn’t expect to have this good of a time. Sure, you occasionally would start teasing him, bringing back his trademark scowl, but it was always good natured in the same way Kirishima, Kaminari, and (dare he say it) even Deku tended to be. The kind of teasing he didn’t hate, the kind that didn’t make him want to hide under the bluster and temper that he’d worn like a shield most of his life. He also can’t help but notice little things about you like the beautiful color of your eyes, the way your outfit hangs off your incredible body just right, the way your laugh seems to brighten the entire room. The more the two of you drink the harder it is for him to push the thoughts away. Every time you almost catch him staring a little too intently, he’s immensely grateful he can blame the flush in his cheeks on the alcohol. You are distracting in a way no one has ever been for him and it’s a disconcerting enough thought that he shoves it away and locks it in a box full of things he refuses to think about.

“Hey Bakugo, you listening?” you ask, waving a hand in front of his face. “Course I’m listening dumbass what?” he snaps, disgruntled at being caught lost in his thoughts of you. “That’s a lie,” you snort. Bakugo is about to snap at you but you raise your hand to cover his mouth with a giggle to stop him from saying anything. “Last call was like an hour ago, they’re kicking us out dummy,” you tell him, sliding your hand away from his mouth to let him reply. “You’re so drunk,” he accuses you like a hypocrite. “So are you,” you fire back. He doesn’t have a rebuttal for that so he just rolls his eyes before grasping hold of your hand and pulling you from the bar and into a waiting rainstorm outside.

Bakugo knows he should let go of your hand now that you two are outside. He knows you both should go somewhere to take shelter from the rain. There’s a lot of things he should do but instead he’s just standing opposite you, staring at your wide delighted eyes as you grin from ear to ear, alcohol keeping you warm even as the rain soaks through you two’s clothes. This is the part where he’s supposed to say goodnight and the two of you will walk your separate ways but he finds himself not wanting to leave you yet. “C’mon idiot, lemme walk you home,” he tells you tugging you along towards the train back to Hosu City. “I can walk myself home you know, I am a pro hero,” you tell him teasingly as you catch up to walk along beside him. The mere thought of you walking around the city drunk and alone is enough to send a protective surge through Bakugo as he growls out “Absolutely fucking not.” Even on the train he tugs you in closer against him, hiding you in the protective shell of his body and trying very hard not to think about exactly how close you are right now as you giggle and tease him. Your smell fills his nose and it’s intoxicating. He almost feels more drunk off your very presence than he does the copious amounts of saké the two of you had consumed.

Finally the two of you arrive at your apartment and Bakugo finds himself wishing the walk had taken longer. “This is me,” you tell him as the two of you walk up to your front door. He needs to let you go, you’re both soaked through and could use a long, hot shower but his alcohol soaked brain insists on telling him the two of you should conserve water and shower together. He tries to keep his eyes focused on yours but he can’t help the way they instead wander down to your lips. They’re so close and you’re standing there so open and vulnerable. Without consciously choosing to do so Bakugo feels himself start to lean in as if pulled by some gravitational force. He’s close, so close and when your eyes flutter shut he knows you feel the same pull he does. Just before he can close that final distance between you two, your phone rings, shattering the moment and causing both of you to spring apart. You curse and fumble to retrieve your phone before hurriedly answering. “Wha- yea. I just got home actually. Yes I’m fine,” you tell whoever is on the line with an exaggerated roll of your eyes. You mouth an apology to Bakugo but he’s a little preoccupied trying to figure out what the actual fuck just came over him as you finish up your phone call. Finally you hang up and turn back to him. “Sorry about that, just a friend checking I made it home safe,” you explain. “It’s fine I should, uh, get going,” Bakugo says, looking anywhere but at you with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “Oh, ok,” you reply and Bakugo wonders idly if he’s imagining the disappointment he hears in your voice. “I’ll see ya around I guess,” he tells you. “Yea, I’ll see you around,” you reply. He nods and then turns around on his heel and quickly walks back down the direction the two of you had come in, oblivious to your gaze still trained on his back long after he’s entered the stairs.

When Bakugo gets back to his own apartment he almost immediately peels out of his wet clothes, leaving them in a heap in his bathroom as he pads across the cool tiles over to his shower. He can’t get you out of his head. Your laughter, your smile, your body, and especially the way you’d looked as he’d started leaning in towards you in front of your door. He turns the water on hot, waiting until it heats up properly before he steps beneath the spray. He thought the water might help clear his mind but it has the opposite effect. All he can do is think what may have happened had your phone not rang. Unbidden his brains offers him images of him closing that final distance to bring your lips together. He pictures pulling you in closer and kissing you senseless, pictures the way you’d breathlessly pull away just enough to invite him into your apartment. How the two of you would have made your way to the bathroom and stripped out of your wet clothes together instead of alone on opposite sides of town. His dick is already painfully hard when the temptation becomes too much and he reaches down and wraps one hand around it. As he slowly begins to jack himself off, he closes his eyes and pictures your hand wrapped around him instead. The image is so vivid, the memory of you so fresh, that it doesn’t take long for him to start approaching climax. He uses his free hand to steady himself on the wall as he moves his hand faster and faster, still pretending it’s you driving him closer and closer to orgasm. When he finally falls over the precipice, his cum splattering against the shower wall opposite him, it’s your last name that he moans as he slowly pumps himself through it until he’s finally spent. As he slowly comes back to himself, the post orgasmic haze clearing little by little, Bakugo is struck by two thoughts:

1. He is going to murder his idiotic friends

2. He is completely and utterly fucked

A/N: The fic finally earns its 18+ rating. Also, Masahiro’s comes from Masahiro Sakurai, the game developer who created the Kirby and Super Smash Bros games, which have always been my favorite.

Taglist: @pixelwisp @oliviasslut @larkspyrr @heroacadema @kozukatsuki @captaincyberqueen @undead-nyx

[tempestsreach-blog]

Fuck Diet Culture

This is going to be long.  It’s going to be rambly.  It’s going to be sad.  It’s going to be angry.  There’s going to be language some people don’t like. I can’t NOT talk about it though. 

Fuck diet culture.  Let me say that again.  Fuck. Diet. Culture. It has taken such a huge chunk out of my life.  I have lost pieces of myself I’m not sure I’ll ever get back.  The only way to heal is to go through.  I can’t go back.  I have to move forward.  But I can’t do it quietly.  I can’t hide.  I can’t live in the same shame I’ve spent the last 40 years in.  Literally.  40 years of my life wasted to this.  I can’t bear to live the back half of my life in the same way.  What the hell is the point? I’m not going to write this in any particular order because all of the thoughts and feelings swimming around are snapshots of things in my life that diet culture has broken in me or stolen from me. A lot of you aren’t going to agree with me.  That’s okay.  Truly.  This is about ME.  This is to help ME heal.  You can talk to me about your struggles, your diets, your ups and downs, your successes and whatnot.  I am here for you in all of it. But I won’t diet with you anymore.  Never again.

Currently I am having severe knee pain.  One knee is worse than the other, but both are bad.  I should go to the doctor.  I should have gone to the doctor years ago for it.  Want to know why I didn’t?  My weight.  I have injuries from overuse and over exercise and I am terrified that I am going to go to the doctor and the first words they’re going to say are “Well, if you lost 20, 30, 40, 50 pounds, it probably wouldn’t hurt so much.” instead of listening to me, examining me, scanning my knees and HELPING me.  I don’t feel this way irrationally.  This shit happens.  I am in pain.  I don’t know how to get help without being told to go on another diet that will not work.

Because diets don’t work.  Not long term.  I am excellent at losing weight!  I’ve done it over and over and over.  Then I stop restricting, counting, starving, and pushing myself.  Then my body says “What the fuck were you doing?” and puts it back. I lost the ability years ago to know whether I’m actually hungry or not.  I eat too fast when I do eat because if I snarf it down super fast I can get it in before my brain says “You’ve had too much.  Did you count those calories?  How many miles on a treadmill will you do to make up for that?  Did you actually earn this meal?”

Every time.  Every meal.  Every morsel.

I have never been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder.  Only been told by therapists and psychiatrists that I definitely engage in disordered eating.

No shit.

Every diet under the sun.  Cabbage soup.  Phen Fen.  Weight watchers (MULTIPLE TIMES), TOPS, Noom, My Fitness Pal calorie counting, intermittent fasting,  and every whacky bullshit thing in between promising results.  I’ve purchased fancy scales.  I’ve even tried one that wouldn’t show you your weight, but the color of your progress in the app.  Here’s a hint… if you gain, your color is black like death.  I’ve failed a million times and I’ve blamed myself.  I am the failure.  So I hate my body a little more every day and I stress about how I’m going to NOT pass my disordered eating and my food issues onto my kids.  My stress levels are through the roof and 98% of it is diet culture related. What the fuck is that about? Every time I start a program I hit it hard.  Last time I tried anything involving tracking or counting I was so starving by the time I got home from work that I almost ripped a child’s head off (not literally OBVIOUSLY) but I screamed at her at the top of my lungs because she hurt my feelings.  It wasn’t until after finally allowing myself to eat another morsel of food that I realized I was hangry.

Why is living in a larger body not acceptable?  We all talk about diversity and equality as though we believe it with our whole hearts, but that doesn’t cross over to fat.  Or skinny if we’re really being honest.  How many times have you heard or seen online “Oh my god, she’s so skinny.  Feed her a damn cheeseburger!  She looks anorexic.”  I know I have.  I know I’ve said those words.  I will punch myself in the gut if I ever say them again.  

Every body is different.  We are supposed to be.  Let’s not BLAME genetics like it’s a bad thing.  Let’s realize that it’s what nature has intended.  My father is over 6 feet tall and a large man.  He’s just a big man.  He went on Nutri System when I was young, lost a ton of weight, and put a bunch back on over the years because he is a big man.  My mother was not tall, but was always large.  I hated her body because HER PARENTS told her all the time she was fat and unworthy and cautioned me not to grow up to be like her in any way.  Even when she was poor and homeless she was still large.  That was the way her body was.  I wonder how different her life might have been if the size of her body hadn’t been a factor in the way she was raised or treated.  How might that have made my life different?

I know a lot of you are probably rolling your eyes at me right now about being vocal about another health plan or saying to yourself “just because you have trouble with diets doesn’t mean they don’t work”  I know there are people close to me thinking “She just always gets excited when she discovers a new diet, that’s probably what this is.”  NO.  

This is me finally realizing that I can heal and healing doesn’t mean I need to weigh 157 pounds. (That’s the weight limit for women my height to enter the air force when I did in 1992) This is me finally realizing that I’ve been lying about the weight on my drivers license for 30 years because gods forbid anyone saw my real weight on that document. This is me realizing that I’ve spent my life trying to live up to other people’s ideals of what I should look like because I assumed they wouldn’t like me otherwise. This is me realizing how much unintentional harm I could have been doing when sharing another diet, another idea, another bout of “well this is working really well for me!” with people I care about. This is me realizing how much damage I’ve been doing to myself living with this level of shame for 40 years. Hiding what I’m doing.  Suffering in silence.  Hiding food. Restricting.  Binging.  Over exercising to compensate.  Spending money on one last diet.  Spending emotional energy on one last hope. We were in Las Vegas for what was supposed to be a fun vacation last week and I was so hot and miserable and so steeped in hating my body because my painful knees were betraying me that my internal monologue was a never ending loop of “I’ll hit weight watchers REALLY HARD when we get home and get rid of this weight, then I’ll figure out my knees and work on maintenance” Let me say that again, clearly.  I struggled to enjoy my vacation because I was obsessing about restricting food AFTER my vacation. One last time.  One last meal.

BULLSHIT.

We walked by shops with weird and pretty fashion dresses. (I freely admit I don’t understand fashion) the husband and I would both point out ones we thought were pretty.  My brain would get stuck on “Yeah, but they don’t make them in my size” or “Yeah, that would NOT look good on me.  It looks fine on that size 0 mannequin”  Pretty on other people.  Other people are pretty.  Not me. Diet culture is pervasive and all consuming.  In big ways and little ways.  I’m 5 ft 9.  I’m not a tiny person at any weight.  I’ve always been told I’m too big.  Even when I sit, I slouch a little and/or tuck my legs and feet up under me to try to make myself appear smaller and less invasive.  This is subconscious.  I don’t always realize I’m doing it until my knees remind me. Most of my life has been things that get in the way of my diets.  “I should start the diet today, but it’ll have to wait until next week because so and so’s birthday is this week and I want to be able to enjoy that.”  or “It’s late fall, I should just start now but first there’s my birthday, and then Thanksgiving, and December happens and there’s all kinds of treats then.  Better wait until January, but not the first because that’s new year’s...maybe the following Monday.” or the ever popular “I already had a bad eating day today, I’m a failure.  Why bother?  Fuck it.  I’ll try again tomorrow.”  That one was always followed by binging because of the last supper mentality.  If I’m starting a diet tomorrow I better eat EVERYTHING NOW. This is how I’ve lived my whole life.  The time not spent dieting was just the time in between diets where I was planning my next diet.  So much life wasted.  The only time I was not actively dieting or planning the next diet or suffering from “I’m just too exhausting to put effort into food right now” was during my 4 pregnancies.  I let myself eat whatever and whenever because I was nauseous all the time anyway and something in my brain made me fuel my body for the babies. When the youngest was born and the on call doctor who delivered her told me I was too fat to have my tubes tied I definitely started planning diets again in that moment.  I believe now, years later, that my diet and diet culture ruined mind and body is part of what kept me from being as successful at nursing the kids as I wished I had been.  I assumed my body was broken and not good enough for my babies.  The last time I lost a LOT of weight it was because I didn’t want to ruin someone’s wedding pictures.  True story.  This was nothing that person felt or anything they told me.  IT’s what my brain said to me.  It’s how I de-valued myself.  There are very few current pictures of me now because I’ve been stuck in a place where I feel shame when I see them. When I’m dead, memories and pictures are all my kids and grandkids will have, and I hate myself too much to let anyone take them. That’s not okay.

I dream about food.  I daydream about food.  Food I “shouldn’t” eat.  Food I “should” eat.  When to eat.  When not to eat.  Every spare ounce of energy is spent thinking about food or hating myself which leads to more thinking about food. I am not in a place where I can prepare dinner for my family right now because it’s too hard to put that much energy into food.  I force myself to pick the recipes from the app and get the shopping done via instacart so all anyone else has to do is pull up the recipe and make the food.  If I’m looking at the ingredients or trying to prep anything I stare at every individual thing debating whether or not I “should” eat it.  This is going to take me a long time to break free from.  Today I finally feel like I CAN break free. There is nothing wrong with being in a large body or a small body.  Food is not good or bad.  Food is food.  I have to say these things.  I have to repeat them to myself or I fall down the rabbit hole again.  None of this is work anyone can do for me.  I have to live it.  I have to work through it.  I have to figure it out. If you read this far, my statement stands.  If you’re on a diet, I will listen to your woes and hold your hand and I will not judge you for it.  This was very hard to write because I am certain some of you who believe in diets, ways of life, and wellness eating may block me now because I spoke my mind.  I’ve clung so tight to the people I love and refrained from being honest and speaking my mind for fear of abandonment.  I’ll have to live with it if that’s the case here, because people sometimes need to do what’s best for them.  Airing this out is one of those things for me.  It’s a scary thing for sure. I also want to say that I’m happy for this to lead to discussion.  I’m not going to shut anyone down for wanting to talk to me about this.  I am always open to learn new information and see different perspectives.  Just know that if I’m emotional and feeling a lot of strong things about how my life has been up to this point, and I am entitled to believe what I believe just as you all are.  I’m happy to share sources and books I’ve been reading on the subject.  They are not diet books.

Here’s to doing better from here on out.

Here’s to finally being free.

[jaycewrites-192000]

Growl: Chapter 8

Warnings: None

Tag List: @theravencawsatmidnight @etroman @kaariqueen

Your P.O.V

For once, I was actually looking forwards to going to school. Thanks to Kyotani, I've become steadily more confident in my academic skills. It's not a huge step forwards, but, a step forwards none the less. My grades have been getting better as well, which was just a added bonus to my already great mood. I would have to really consider how I'm going to thank him for all his hard work. Maybe I'll take him out to eat somewhere he likes? Or maybe take him and Killer to a dog park? Or we could go to that new guitar shop that just opened up a well ago, he does play bass after all, maybe he'd want to check out what they had.

"Maybe he can teach me how to play too." I chuckle. Geez, this all was starting  to sound like I wanna ask him out in a date. It's not totally untrue. I would like to ask him out but, there's no way I could actually go through with it. I don't even think he likes me like that. "Man...this sucks. Why can't I just-" My words were cut short when I suddenly bumped into someone. "Oh! I'm sorry!" I quickly apologized. The person I ran into turned to face me, oh....great. "Uh, hey there...you?" I say awkwardly. "You? Really?" The person of, girl, I ran into was an old "enemy" of mine. "I think I've made myself known to you the last time we met." She spat as she placed her hand on her hip.

This was Chiharu Kumiko, also known as, "Oikawa's number one fangirl". She's hated me since the day I became friends with him, always thought we were dating or I had a crush on him. Which was the furthest thing from the true, and yet, she still had it out for me. "Yeah you did. Now if you don't mind, I need to get to class." I say as I try and walk past her. "Sure, "get to class". So you can hoe around with Oikawa-Senpai?" Ignore her, Y/n, ignore her. She's just trying to start a fight, a fight I will finish if she keeps pissing me off. "Bitch I know you hear me!" Kumiko grabs onto my arm and jerks me back. "Let go!" I snap at her, yanking my arm away. The commotion we were causing seem to attract a small group of people. Great, just what I wanted. Kumiko raised her hand to strike me, but before she got the chance, someone grabbed her hand. We both look back at the person who stopped her. "Kyotani?"

"What do you think you're doing?" I could tell Kyotani was furious. His voice was intimidating and his eyes narrowed. I was surprised he wasn't crushing Kumiko's hand right now, he was defiantly holding back. "The hell!? Let go of me you freak!" Kumiko jerks her hand away from Kyotani. Before she left, she turned to me, glaring daggers. "This isn't over, skank." With that, she storms off. I roll my eyes, my attention now back at the crowd, I hid my face in embarrassment. Thanks a lot Kumiko, you attention seeking bitch. "Problem!?" Kyotani snaps at them. The crowd eventually dispersed and continued on their own ways.

"Are you ok? Did she hurt you?" Kyotani asked. I shake my head, a smile retuning to my face. "Thank you Kyotani." I say gratefully. "What's that girl's problem?" He asks. "She has a thing for Oikawa and she thinks I do too."

"Do you?" That question kinda took me by surprise. I didn't know Kyotani would be interested in stuff like that. "No. He's annoying." That made him chuckle. 'Cute...oh right' I suddenly remembered, I still have to thank him. "Um, Kyotani. I wanted to thank you for helping me study. My grades have been getting better because of your help! So, I was thinking...maybe I could take you somewhere as a thank you. If you want to, that is."

"O-oh...sure you can if you want." Kyotani murmurs. "Really? Cool! Let's meet up after school ok?" Kyotani nods, I wave him goodbye before hurrying to class.

Your P.O.V.

I waited at the school gate for Kyotani, and I just could help but smile like an idiot the entire time. How could I not? I sorta, kinda, maybe just asked my crush out on a date, and he said yes! Now I just have to manage not to mess it up. "Just don't act like a creep. Shouldn't be too hard." I say to no one other than myself. "A creep would talk to themselves though, so I should probably stop." I sigh. I might have been ecstatic about Kyotani and I having a day to ourselves, but I was also super nervous. This would be my first "date" with a boy.

What am I suppose to do? What am I suppose to say? Maybe I should have a waited to go home and change, maybe do something with my hair. I shook my head, reminding myself that this is not a date. I'm just thanking him for helping me study. That's all. I can call it a date for when I actually gain the nerve to ask him out. "Hey." I gasp at the sudden voice. I turned to see Kyotani approaching. "Hi." I wave. "You ready to go?" He nods and walks beside me. "Um, so I was thinking." I began. "Maybe we stop by the new music store and then after we can grab a bite to eat? Anywhere you like."

"Sounds good." Kyotani simply says. The two of us made our way into town, talking the whole way to the music store. It looked like one of the newer ones in town, it has that new shine to everything. As we walked inside, I immediately felt out of place. Everyone inside the store was clearly a professional, and I knew absolutely nothing about instruments. But I had to admit, everything in the store looked amazing. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to pick up a music lesson, maybe I'll try the (favorite instrument). "See anything you like?" I asked Kyotani. I could tell he was already invested in the different basses they had. His eyes were glued onto the different colored, slick shinning stringed instruments. "Hmm...I don't really need a new bass. Maybe replace the strings on mine." I walk over to the basses to join him in browsing, when I came across something. Stickers. I pick a few and look them over, there wasn't really any that stuck out in particular, until I found one that couldn't be ignored.

"Oh! Kyotani, look at this!" I showed him a sticker of a Shiba Inu, it was growling and there was some foam in the corners of it's mouth, and a firey background behind the dog, yet it still had that cute appeal to it. I saw Kyotani's eyes light up. "It looks like Killer." He says as I give it to him. "Right? I figured you'd want to put it on your bass." I tell him. He looked over the sticker a few more seconds before nodding. "Yeah. I will." I smile brightly and reach into my school bag. I pulled out my wallet and counted out the right amount to pay for the sticker. "What are you doing?" Kyotani asks. "Buying it. You like it right?"

"I can't let you pay for it." I shake my head. "I don't mind. Besides, I'm treating you today, remember?" I take the sticker and approach the counter. "Just this for today." I tell the cashier man as I slide the money and sticker on the counter. He nods and rings up the sticker before handing it back to me. I turn back to Kyotani and hand him the sticker. "There you go. Now let's go eat, I'm starving." I subconsciously grab his hand and lead him out of the store.

Third P.O.V

Unknowing to Y/n, Kyotani felt his heart flutter and his cheeks warm. He felt like he had made a really good choice befriending her. Kyotani smiled slightly and wrapped his fingers around her hand. "Yeah, me too."

The two teens made their way to a small restaurant, Kyotani had suggested it, told Y/n that it was his favorite place to go. Curious about the place, Y/n was excited to go as well. The waitress lead them to their table and set menus in front of them .They both ordered and and the waitress held up a pen and notepad. "And would the lady and gentleman like the couple's special? 10% off your order and free desert." The waitress asks. 'Wow, that's one hell of a deal.' Y/n thought to herself. "We're not-" She cut Kyotani. "Gonna refuse that! Thank you so much." She clasps her hands together. Kyotani gives her a surprised look. "Lovely! I'll have that right out!" She took the menus and walked away. "....Y/n?"

"I didn't have that much money and it was a good deal, you have to admit...sorry..." Y/n mutters, looking down at the table. "N-no it's fine just...it was shocking." Kyotani says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah..." Y/n clears her throat awkwardly. "I mean, seriously who would willing admit they're in a relationship with me?" Y/n blinks a few times, did she hear him correctly. She looks up across the table at him. "What do you mean?" She asks.

"Well, I don't get asked out a lot, if you can imagine." Y/n leans her head on her hand. "Really? You'd think girls would love a 'bad boy' like you." She giggles. "But really, you're not that bad Kyotani. People just has to get to know you." Kyotani shrugs. "I just didn't mind it as much before..." He trails off. "Before what?" Y/n asks. "Nothing. Forget it."

Y/n raised an eyebrow then leans back in her seat. 'Ever the secretive type.' She thought with a sigh. "Well, I think you're just fine the way you are. If others can't or won't take the time to actually know you, then that's their loss." She tells him. Once again, Kyotani felt his heart skip a beat. This was getting dangerous. Kyotani hadn't felt something like this, he never had crushes before. But this, it felt like more than just a crush. He hated the thought, but he could possibly love Y/n. Why he hated it was simple. Kyotani wasn't just 'not a ladies man', he wasn't a anyone's man. All his life he had better things to focus on, like volleyball, rather than stupid crushes and relationships that wouldn't last more than a year and a half.

So that's why this was so scary. Kyotani really really liked Y/n, but he couldn't stand the thought of giving up something he loved because of his bad habbits. Wether that something was volleyball, or even Y/n. She wasn't to blame. It was him. Kyotani wasn't the best of people. If he hurt her, in anyway, he would never forgive himself. So, it would be best, if Kyotani ignored these new feelings. For the better, for himself, and for Y/n.

The two were walking home together that night. Kyotani made sure Y/n got to her home saefly before saying goodbye. "Thank's for treating me today, even though you didn't have to." Kyotani tells her. "Aw, it was nothing." Y/n waved it off. "That's what senpai's are for right?" She winks. Kyotani gulped and nods his eyes. "Y-yeah. Anyway, see you later. Thanks again." He turned to leave. "Kyotani, hang on!" Kyotani was about to turn around to ask Y/n what she stopped him for, when suddenly she hugged him tightly. Kyotani's face turned a light shade of red as he felt her arms wrap tightly arounf his waist. Slowly, he raised his arms to hug her bag, but before he could she quickly let go and rushed to her door. "Goodnight!" She squeaks out before hurrying inside her home. Kyotani was left there alone, eyes wide with shock. His agaped mouth closed, and his arms dropped to his sides.

"...Damn it."

Previous | Next

[itsclydebitches]

YYH Recaps: Episode 1, Surprised to be Dead

Hello, all you hypothetical readers! It's a beautiful spring day and I have a free afternoon ahead of me, so what better time to start another massive project while I guilty stuff my other WIPs deep into the depths of my hard drive? Yeah. Iffy life choices aside, someone mentioned a few weeks back that they'd love for me to recap a show I have more positive things to say about than negative (RIP RWBY) and ever since Netflix announced that their live-action adaptation of Yu Yu Hakusho is in the works, I've been itching for a re-watch of the anime. With the RWBY hiatus underway, it seemed like the perfect time to fulfill both desires.

Before we begin though, I'd like to touch on a few things that are going to influence this project.

First, YYH is near and dear to my heart. Written by Yoshihiro Togashi in the early 1990s and later adapted for an American audience by Funimation, I had the pleasure of experiencing this story five different ways: as a serialized tale in Shonen Jump, a binge read when I had the money to buy the manga, tiny snippets of the anime on Adult Swim late at night — don't tell my parents ;) — as an after-school treat on Toonami, and then years later as a re-watch when I introduced it to a friend (who, in turn, blessed me by having us watch Fullmetal Alchemist next). I used to keep a Hiei bookmark in everything I was reading, the spirit gun made it into our witch-wolf-space adventures on the playground (middle school was wild), and there was a long period of my life where I tried very hard to teach myself to stand with my hands behind my back, precisely as Genkai does. Spoiler alert: I failed. So to say I love the series is... a little bit of an understatement. I bring this up simply as a way of demonstrating that there's more than a bit of nostalgia attached to YYH for me and that will inevitably cloud my reading of it. How can it not? So that's just something to keep in mind as I work through a series that, like any having hit its 30th birthday, has its outdated, flawed, and other questionable aspects.

Second, but very much connected to the first point, is that these are pretty casual recaps. I summarize and extrapolate, focusing primarily on plot and dialogue (but with the occasional cinematography aspect tossed in). I'm not conducting research on the cultural history here — something that will come up at least once in this episode — I'm not arguing an overarching thesis, and I've never been someone who focuses on the author/production/trivia of a series. I'm here for the story as the story is presented to the viewer. If you've read my RWBY Recaps, this will function precisely the same way, with the only difference being I'm engaging with a finished text as opposed to an ongoing one, so there’s a lot less, “Maybe ___ will happen” theorizing going on. 

Third, I obviously recommend that you watch the show yourself (you can find it on YouTube!), but you don't have to know the series to follow along. As these massive paragraphs attest, I tend to be both detailed and verbose, so we'll be covering every major plot point — and most of the smaller ones too.

Finally, I'm working from the dub. I know, I know, the horror. But it's what I grew up on and, honestly, I think it's superior to the sub. YYH's dubbing is in a class all its own and to this day there are very few shows that compare to it. Trust me, it's a good call.

That's enough of the boring chit-chat though. Let's get started!

Our very first episode "Surprised to be Dead" opens on a crowded street. We see lots of traffic, people going about their business, and a pedestrian crossing sign that, crucially, turns red. This is our normality and, like in every genre story, you need to break that normality at some point so that the protagonists can go on their fantastical/supernatural/science fiction journey. YYH eases us into things by first breaking the normality of an everyday afternoon: there's a screech of tires, quick shots of a man pushing a child out of the way of an oncoming car, and then his back is hitting the windshield. We begin this story with a horrible — but otherwise mundane — car crash.

Now, these flashes alone have a fair bit to unpack. Despite later getting a brief shot of the man's scared face right before he's hit, the moment's focus is really on the child. He's the one foregrounded in the initial, slow-mo shot. He's the one who appears in color while the man is kept in shadow. This isn't just a hit, it's a rescue. The camera is also careful to follow the soccer ball this kid was playing with (more on that later in the episode), with it flying through the air as the man is hit and bouncing to a stop in the street, acting as the dramatic finish. It's childhood! It's innocence! It's play on a sunny afternoon! And it's all gone wrong.

This moment is chaotic and even a bit confusing. Not in the sense of what's happening — that is quite obviously a guy being hit by a car — but who the victims are, how precisely this came about, or even why we're meant to care about this beyond a generic capacity to feel for other human (fictional) beings... that's all removed. And it works. As the crash takes place, the camera pans across the stunned crowd and we, the viewer, become a part of that crowd. They don't know what precisely is going on either. We're all just horrified onlookers as a sudden tragedy takes place. We're all watching the same show.

So everyone realizes this guy has been hit. People are staring in shock and someone calls for an ambulance. We see the driver fall to his knees in the street, distraught, shakily saying, "I didn't mean to..." It's a very serious and emotional scene that —

— is immediately tempered by this guy waking up, complete with a cute 'pop!' sound effect when he opens his eyes.

This is YYH's brand, this Very Serious Circumstances skillfully interwoven with casual indifference/comedy. It's admittedly far from a unique brand, but it's an excellent choice given that this is the same attitude that will drive 99% of our protagonist's interaction with the world.

Speaking of said protagonist, our guy wakes up, opens his eyes, and realizes that he's floating. There's a great, disorientating shot from his perspective where everything is upside down, causing him to nearly fall out of the air. Well would you look at that, he's as confused as we are. It's our audience surrogate!

A narrator says, "And so it all begins. This boy's name is Yusuke, he's fourteen years old, and he's supposed to be the hero of this story. But oddly enough, he's dead."

Game of Thrones might have made it popular, but YYH did it better.

(Yeah, yeah, I know one death kick-starts the journey and the other is a shocking twist. Just let me have this.)

Now, it's a weird introduction, right? At least at the end. The announcement that change has occurred, a name, an age... that all checks out. But "supposed to be the hero"? What the hell is that “supposed to” mean? Our narrator gives us the easy, surface answer: "But oddly enough, he's dead." We're capitalizing here on the audience's expectation that death ends a character's journey and though they may have been a hero previously, they can no longer be one moving forward. That function within the story has passed. So it's this intriguing question of, "What kind of hero do you have when that hero is dead from the start?" but as we'll see soon, there's an additional meaning here of, "How can Yusuke be the hero?" As this premiere sets up, Yusuke doesn't act like the hero is “supposed to” act. 

Until he saved this kid.

But right now he's just confused: "Okay, this is weird. Stupid weird."

Two EMTs arrive on the scene and are hilariously useless. You know how in any medical drama a doctor will stop CPR after a couple of seconds because obviously you're not going to spend half the episode on realism? Well, that's this only a thousand times worse. One guy just looks at the kid and announces he's fine except for some bumps and bruises. Meanwhile, the kid is sobbing.

"Well, at least one of them is," replies the other EMT, because I guess he can tell Yusuke is beyond hope without taking a pulse or anything? "I hate cleanup," he complains as they load his body onto a stretcher because that's? An empathetic response to have??

Honestly this scene is wild.

Yusuke is understandably upset that he's, you know, dead and all. He starts hounding the EMTs who, unable to hear him, just go about their business of taking the kid and his body to the hospital. "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on? You can't just write me off. Listen to me!" and Yusuke tries to punch one of the EMTs in the head, resulting in him floating right through.

What a great way to introduce your protagonist's personality. We see here that when things go wrong Yusuke's default emotion is anger and it starts creeping in even before he thinks the others are ignoring him: "Stupid weird." He has problems with authority — "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on?" — is used to others listening when he gets angry — "You can't just write me off!" — and is poised to use violence at the slightest provocation. Yusuke is a guy who, right now at least, is ready to punch first and ask questions later.

As Yusuke floats back up into the air and the ambulance drives away, he finally cools down enough to try and think his way out of this. "It's not like this is the first time you've been in a jam,” he thinks. Yusuke recalls that yeah, something was different about today...

...he actually went to school.

Catch me laughing that this idiot boy equates the weirdness of him dying with going to school. Good lord. 

Anyway, this jumpstarts our flashback. We open on a generic, anime middle school (that always feels like a high school to me) where the principal is calling for Yusuke through the loud speaker. Oooo someone’s in trouble! We follow a young girl up to the rooftop and she gets a classic hair-blowing-in-the-wind moment to  establish that she's our love interest. Meet Keiko Yukimura.

Keiko finds Yusuke hanging out and immediately starts lecturing him for trying to chew gum and refusing to wear the boys' uniform. "Oh, give me a break, Keiko. I look better in green." Note that it's here we learn her name and it's an easy, casual way to introduce it. I bring this up because Yusuke's introduction via our narrator is very much... not that. It's an on your nose statement about his name, age, and importance to the story, and if you're just starting the show in 2021, it might come across as a rather armature move. Like something out of a kid's show, perhaps. Yet here we see that this was a deliberate choice, considering that YYH is capable of introducing character information naturally when it wants to.

This moment also tells us that Yusuke cares a great deal about his image. More on that in a bit. Because Keiko isn't finished her list of grievances yet, going on to say that his attendance record has hurt their entire class, hurt her as class representative, and if he keeps going down this path he won't even graduate middle school. "Sometimes I think you don't care about anyone but yourself and then you don't even do that right!"

They're legit complaints. Too bad Yusuke is busy looking up Keiko's skirt.

Yeeeeah. Sadly, this is common for anime, particularly a 90s anime like YYH. Even presumably more progressive series like My Hero Academia feature characters like Mineta, whose entire personality is being a pervert, and the creation of abilities that "require" kids/young women to be scantily clad. See: Yaoyorozu. YYH is no different in this regard, with various forms of sexual harassment functioning as a shorthand for how much Yusuke secretly likes Keiko. "Boys will be boys," right? Obviously not. 

Like so many others series, the creators get away with it because they’re framing it as a bad thing. It's totally fine because look, Keiko slaps him! This is  teaching the viewer how wrong this behavior is. Never mind that this is clearly an established habit between them, that Yusuke laughs off Keiko's discomfort, and that the whole scene is meant to be funny for the viewer. That's the real purpose here; it’s not a PSA on harassment. 

That, and to establish the long-suffering love Keiko has for Yusuke in turn, largely stemming from a life-long friendship. "Dumb boy! He hasn't grown up a bit since he was four years old." We see that Keiko's early interactions with Yusuke have given her insight that others lack. As she heads down from the roof she runs into two girls hiding around the corner, too scared to come out lest "the great Urameshi" set his sights on them. Isn't Keiko terrified of what he might do to her? "Or worse, what others might say of it?" Like any classic high school middle school setting, one's reputation is king. Yusuke cares about how others see him — maintaining that tough boy attitude — and the girls care more about what the rest of the school might think of Keiko's interactions with him than the presumed harm Yusuke could do to her. They heard he can summon 2,000 men with just a whistle and that he "kills for fun!" But that means nothing in the face of people talking about you. Despite being one of the most popular girls in school, Keiko is the outsider here via her disinterest in what other people think.

The animation changes here, giving us a good look at how the girls picture Yusuke: tough, scowling, surrounded by shadows, and backed by an entire army.

In contrast, we've already seen what Yusuke is really like.

Keiko laughs the image off too. Yusuke is more like a "lamb" than a killer and besides, he couldn't order around two people, let alone two hundred. "He doesn't have many friends."

"That's not what I heard," says one of the girls. 

"Yeah," goes the other. "I think we would know." 

Again, rumors rule here, with whispers in the hall considered more reliable than someone who interacts with Yusuke on a daily basis. Keiko doesn’t have a hope of changing their minds. 

Oh, as a side note, I love that they gave Keiko Miyazaki-esque hair. It's very emotive.

Yusuke escapes outside where the principal is still calling for him to report to his office. He overhears a conversation around the corner and we cut to two boys, one of which is showing a wallet off to the other. He explains that some bully tried to rough him up, but he said he was Urameshi's cousin and the bully took off, dropping his wallet in the process. The guy's friend is impressed, but what is he going to do if Yusuke ever finds out he lied? Not to worry, he says, that "blockhead" would probably think it's true even if he did somehow hear.

Yusuke, obviously, does hear about this and he, also obviously, does not believe this guy is his cousin. He looms ominously and they scurry up against a wall, terrified and offering him the wallet as an apology.

"You think I want your money?" Yusuke yells.

YYH is, in many respects, a rather simple story, but I appreciate the hints of complexity in these otherwise straightforward interactions. It's not that this guy used Yusuke's name to steal a wallet, he used it as a form of protection against another bully — a far more sympathetic motivation. It's not that Yusuke's fearsome reputation has resulted in any genuine respect because once people think they're safe they reveal how little they think of his intelligence — he's a "blockhead." And Yusuke, though intimidating and violent, is not your average, schoolyard bully. He doesn't care about money, only the insult and the damage this guy using his name might have done to his reputation. There's a little more nuance here than you might otherwise expect.

Also, note how dark the boys' standard uniforms are and how much they blend into the rest of the world. Yusuke, as our protagonist, stands out in his bright clothing. He was right, he does look better in green!

So he's ready to clobber this kid when one of the teachers arrive: Mr. Iwamoto.

Iwamoto demands to know what's going on, but the boys are too terrified to rat Yusuke out. Noticing the wallet on the ground, he assumes that Yusuke was after their money, something that greatly offends him: "Whatever!" Iwamoto goes on to say that, "No good weeds like you should have been plucked a long time ago," making it clear that he considers Yusuke a hopeless case. The positive aspects that Keiko sees, as well as the complexity the viewer sees — to say nothing of his introduction of saving a kid — aren’t considered here.

Notably, Iwamoto exists in part to show us what Yusuke could become. Not a teacher (he's obviously not attending school enough for that!), but a cynical man who is cruel for cruelty's sake. Yusuke is already barreling down that path, ignoring Keiko's advice, terrorizing other students, trying to punch EMTs, etc. If his life (or afterlife...) hadn't changed through that accident, this is the kind of person Yusuke might have grown up to be, and we can see that clearly in the visual parallels between them. Dark haired men dressed in green who scowl with ease and toss out cutting insults. Yusuke is staring his future in the face.

For now he walks off with a final shot, "You shouldn't talk. It makes you sound stupid." This time Yusuke makes it to the school's entrance and tries to enjoy his second attempt at chewing gum, but someone hits him in the back of the head.

"Okay, somebody's DEAD — ah. Sorry, old man."

"That's Mr. Takenaka to you."

Our principal has finally left the office and hunted down Yusuke for himself! Putting this interaction immediately after the one with Iwamoto allows the viewer to compare them. Yusuke might be irreverent towards his principal, but it's clear there's still some kind of respect between them. Yusuke only starts threatening because he doesn’t realize who hit him and once he does realize it's Takenaka, he immediately apologizes. That "old man" comes across as a teasing insult and Yusuke allows himself to be briefly dragged back towards school, rather than throwing a now classic punch. In turn, Takenaka cares enough about Yusuke to try and keep him on the straight and narrow. He utilizes Yusuke's preferred language — violence — but in a casual way, nonthreatening way: slight hit to the back of his head, noogie, pulling him along by the ear. 

It's the sort of physicality we're used to seeing in media between a parent and child who are outwardly antagonistic, but actually share a deep bond. Takenaka is also careful to frame their return to his office as a "discussion," not a punishment, and offers Yusuke tea along with the conversation. Whereas Iwamoto considers Yusuke to be a "weed" that should have been plucked from their school long ago, Takenaka is determined to help Yusuke bloom.

If we're continuing the flower metaphor :D

Yusuke isn't in the mood to play along though. He gets away by using a fake ear, startling Takenaka when it unexpectedly pulls free. Yusuke escapes the school grounds and Takenaka, suffering a back twinge from his fall, can't chase after him. Poor guy. I understand that pain lol.

Yusuke heads home where we're introduced to his mother, Atsuko. Most notable in her first shot is the soft lighting that highlights her looks. We're not told how old she is here, but I believe she's around 28 — and she looks it, if not younger. Given that Yusuke is 14, that means Atsuko was a mom at his age. This is a quick and subtle way to tell us about Yusuke's home life. There are more overt details in this scene — it's at least lunchtime and Atsuko hasn't left her bed yet, she demands that Yusuke make her coffee instead of greeting him, it's all meant to imply (before we actually see) that she's an alcoholic — but her age is another way to highlight the broken household here. There's no partner in sight and she clearly had Yusuke as a teenager. He hasn't had a strong parental figure to take care of him. If anything, Yusuke is taking care of Atsuko here.

"Oh great, mother of the year!" basically sums things up.

Atsuko wants to know why Yusuke isn't in school and he says that everyone is pissing him off today, particularly with their preaching. "Dear, if you hate preaching so much you should live on your own... but you can't do that, can you?" Alongside a rough upbringing, Yusuke is suffering from the common problem of being trapped in a dead-end life. He hates his school, his town, and coming home to find his mom hungover. Yusuke has no prospects and, outside of one principal, no one who is actively working to help him find some. Even the little things he hates, like being preached to, are unavoidable because if you want to live on your own, that requires money. Good luck pulling that off as a middle schooler whose only skill is street fighting!

Yusuke walks off in a huff, literally shouting in a street about what a bad day he's having (and hilariously scaring off pedestrians in the process). His shout brings trouble though. A couple guys appear to ambush him, their boss close behind. The music increases the tension, Yusuke's expression is serious, and we even get a Dutch angle thrown into the mix. 

For any who don't know, the Dutch angle is a popular film technique to establish that something is wrong. There's tension in the scene, something uneasy is at play, and the world is now literally off center. It's perhaps most famously used in Do The Right Thing to establish the friction between an Italian-American pizzeria and the predominantly African American neighborhood it's based in.

But it's also used a great deal in horror as a way to say: yup, shit just got real. Scary real.

This Dutch angle introduces a character you may not appreciate at first, but absolutely should: Kazuma Kuwabara.

He's initially the comic relief and that's clear in his introduction. Within seconds we move from that intimidating arrival to, well, seeing him. To be clear, I've got nothing against redheads with big chins, but compared to Yusuke's design, Kuwabara is meant to be the funny looking one. His threat level plummets the moment we get a look at his face, especially in a series that will occasionally use looks as a (supposed) measure of intelligence. 

Also, Kuwabara is dressed in light blue so, like Yusuke, we know he's important!

Any assumptions that his appearance isn’t meant to imply a goofy, embarrassing personality are put to rest when Kuwabara starts rambling about how they last time they fought Yusuke just got a cheap shot in and he'll definitely win this time. Yeah, he won't. Yusuke is thrilled by this diversion though and we get a shot of him looking almost as creepy as Keiko's friends think he is. Whatever else might be said about Yusuke, he is absolutely a monster in a fight.

Which we see here. If anyone picked up the series without knowing this was a fighting anime, they'll realize it now. Yusuke's choreography is stylized to show off his skill: he disappears with a 'whoosh' and dark lines to suggest inhuman speed,

attacking Kuwabara with a knee to the face, utilizes flying kicks, lands perfect, precision punches, and ends it all with the toe-tip landing we've come to expect of all powerful fighters. Kuwabara never even got a hit in. 

Happy as a clam now, Yusuke wanders off whistling and Kuwabara's friends are left to pick up the pieces. AKA, his likely broken bones. I love that they're legit friends though and not just nameless goons for the sake of giving Kuwabara a small gang (though their names won't come up until later). "That makes 0 wins an 156 loses!" one of them cries, trying to get Kuwabara to stop ending up in the hospital, probably. We establish that Kuwabara is The Most Dramatic Ever when he pulls his broken body into a seated position, shouting, "No! I almost had him that time!"

Then he passes out.

Kuwabara, honey, you obviously did not almost have him, but god bless you for the outlook. The most optimistic thing on this Earth is a well-loved Golden Retriever, but Kuwabara comes in at a very close second.

With his dream to one day beat Yusuke in combat established, we cut to Yusuke wandering the street where the episode opened. "Okay, I'm remembering" he says in a voiceover. "After that I met the kid."

The soccer ball reappears as it rolls to a stop at Yusuke's feet. He grabs it and immediately starts yelling at the kid. Horrible protagonist, right? Well, Yusuke is trying to instill in him the danger of using this street as a playground, a worry the viewer already knows is 100% justified. “Listen, kid, that’s dangerous! There are cars going by that will splatter you into the pavement!” It's one of those quick moments where we get to enjoy Yusuke's duality: he's someone who is nearly making a toddler cry, but for rather understandable reasons. He's got the right idea, but needs to go about it in a more mature manner.

Which is precisely what he attempts to do. Sort of. Yusuke changes gears, though whether it's a more "mature" route is certainly up for debate lol. He tries entertaining the kid instead, raising and lowering the soccer ball to reveal goofy faces.

When these fail to impress, Yusuke goes full out by stuffing the ball into his pants, pushing his nose up with a pair of chopsticks he got from god knows where, and generally just putting on a display.

So Yusuke cares very deeply about his reputation... but only when it comes to those who are an established part of his life. Keiko, Mr. Takenaka, and the other kids at school all need to maintain a particular image of Yusuke, one that he's carefully cultivated. But random pedestrians on the street? Who cares about them? Let them talk.

This shows us that Yusuke does indeed have priorities over his own, selfish goals. Namely, the happiness of some kid is more important to him than looking "cool" for a bunch of strangers. Lots of characters with Yusuke's surface attitude would sneer at the idea of degrading themselves for — their words — some brat. But Yusuke, as we constantly see, actually does have that heart of gold. “Well, if all else fails I can still make kids happy.”

Although... I'm not sure what to make of his display itself. I have the distinct sense that there's something prejudiced here that I'm not able to fully articulate, what with the chopsticks, slanted eyes, bald head, and the like, though to be entirely frank I don't have enough knowledge of Japan's history to say precisely what it might be. Or, really, whether it exists at all. Just something to chew on.

What I am sure about though is the importance of having the child label Yusuke as monster — "Yeah, monster! — but in a delighted manner. Yusuke is indeed some kind a monster, someone who disappoints adults and terrifies his classmates, a demon fighter on the streets too, but here that identity is reworked into something positive.

Having successful secured a laugh, Yusuke tells the kid — calmly this time — to go play elsewhere. The toddler stares up at him with the blank expression only kids can manage.

Well, kids and whatever headspace I'm in after writing these metas.

To absolutely no one's surprise except Yusuke's, the kid does not go elsewhere. Instead, he continues kicking the ball down the street, causing Yusuke to exclaim, “Dammit, what’s the use? The kid can get smashed by a car for all I care!” Liar, liar. 

The picture becomes desaturated as the kid kicks the ball and it flies into the street, time slowing down to show it landing precisely in the middle of the road. Yusuke again yells for him to stay put, but when has a toddler ever listened? He begins to walk into the road as our driver arrives, speeding, swerving, and paying more attention to the girl at his side than what's in front of him.

This time, we see the accident from the front with both Yusuke and the kid presented equally.

There's a cut to black and when we return we're in the present, Yusuke floating above the policemen now investigating the scene. “So that’s it? I’m roadkill?” As Yusuke realizes he's dead, specifically that he's a ghost, a voice goes,

"Bingo! Bingo! You win the prize!"

A woman has appeared who is quite obviously othered by the standards of the episode so far. Unlike the greens, blues, and browns of the series' modern clothes, she's dressed in hot pink kimono with blue hair to match. She's also, you know, floating on an oar.

“I didn’t expect you to figure it out so quickly," she says, referring to Yusuke's revelation that he's dead. Apparently, those who meet unexpected and/or violent ends tend to take some time coming to terms with their demise. It's a nice acknowledgment of Yusuke's intelligence in an interaction that's otherwise... not great for his self-esteem.

Meaning, this woman is about to drag him lol.

She introduces herself as Botan, pilot of the River Styx and guider of souls to the afterlife. You might also know her as the Grim Reaper.

(Hey, RWBY fans: I originally wrote that as Grimm Reaper 🤦‍♀️)

It's an claim Yusuke takes issue with because 1. Botan is too pretty to be the Grim Reaper and 2. If she was really some god of death she'd be taking this much more seriously, not laughing and saying, "Bingo!" For the audience this does two things. First, it acknowledges our own expectations and validates them. Yusuke's world isn't so far removed from our own that he takes Botan's looks and personality at face value, he also expected a skeleton with a scythe. So don't worry, all the weird stuff in this series is weird to our protagonist too. They'll be explanations. Or, even if there’s not, you’re not wrong for being surprised. 

Second, it sets up the very common theme in YYH of undermining those common assumptions again and again and again. We've already seen it with Yusuke, wherein characters who look and act a certain way are, supposedly, destined to be that person and nothing more. Yusuke is meant to be just a "weed," a dumb, violent, angry loser who goes nowhere in life... but we already know he's more than that. Botan is supposed to be scary and serious, but she says nah, I want to be cute and bubbly instead. No character in YYH embodies who they're "supposed" to be when you look past those surface characterizations. They play the part of archetypes — and do keep certain parts of their expected personalities — but they're also far more well-rounded than that. Which yeah, is something most people expect from any story nowadays, but YYH is particularly adept at making you think you're watching Simple Show A only to turn around and surprise you with More Complex Show B.

It's great, trust me.

So Yusuke is pissed that Botan isn't adhering to those expectations, in the same way that he works hard to validate others expectations of him. He doesn't know how to deal with someone challenging his world view yet. Rather than angering Botan though, she just nods and says that this response makes sense for him. “Rather than being scared, or surprised, you yell a lot and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about." Taking out a notebook, she quickly summarizes everything we learned in the flashback — minus Yusuke's complexities: he's fourteen, in middle school, is ill-tempered, violent, hates authority, and is a horrible student.

Typically, Yusuke responds by getting angry and trying to snatch the booklet out of her hands, only for Botan to pull it out of his reach, laughing. The tables have turned! Rather than being surrounded by people who cower at Yusuke's imposed authority, he now finds himself faced with someone who laughs at his transparent attempts to take control of the situation.

Calming down, Yusuke wants to know if the kid he saved is really alright and Botan offers to let him see for himself. That offer produces Yusuke's first, genuine smile.

They fly to the hospital where a doctor is in the process of giving the kid a clean bill of health, his mother crying with relief. 

That's enough for Yusuke. “Alright, Botan, I’ve got no regrets, so you can take me to hell or wherever it is I’m going.”

That tells you all you need to know about Yusuke's self-worth, despite his bad boy attitude. His life is a dead-end as far as he can see and most of those around him haven't done anything to dissuade him of that idea. He says he doesn't care if the kid lives or dies, but then instinctively saves him. Post his death, Yusuke doesn't have anything he considers a regret, or anything he'd like to do before he leaves, like saying goodbye to a loved one. Oh, he's also pretty sure he's going to hell and has resigned himself to that without a fight.

Uplifting!

Botan just laughs though, saying that she's actually here to offer Yusuke an "ordeal" that could bring him back to life. See, he wasn't supposed to die today — let alone die saving a kid — and frankly they don't know what to do with him. It's another neat summary of what we've already learned: Yusuke is a far more complicated case than the afterlife assumed and now, when push comes to shove, deciding whether he belongs in heaven or hell is... muddled.

There's a fantastic story there about the problems with an afterlife that reduces a person's entire life to a few surface characteristics recorded in a book, refusing to acknowledge the context of their situation, or their capacity for change. “Run someone with your credentials a thousand times and they never would have saved a kid like that." Except, of course, Yusuke did save him, so those "credentials" are suspect, to say the least. However, YYH is not a story that explores these issues. Instead, I recommend you watch this!

Rather than being upset at the afterlife's low opinion of him (because let's be real, Yusuke shares it), he latches onto a little detail Botan let slip. If he wasn't supposed to die today... then was the kid?

Mmm... no. Actually, without the chaos of Yusuke jumping into the road, the driver would have swerved at the last second and the kid would have not only lived, but actually come out with one less scrape.

So Yusuke is obviously upset by this news! I would be too!! Holy shit, hang onto the "it's the thought that counts" message with everything you've got.

Also, don't think too much about the fact that the afterlife apparently knows exactly what will happen to people, down to how many cuts they accumulate in an accident. Also, don't think too much about where the afterlife foreseeing the crash begins and the unexpectedness of Yusuke interfering ends. That way lies madness. This will never come up again, so just let it go.

Sorry, 2013 me hijacked the post for a second.

As said, Yusuke is understandably upset by this revelation and as he fumes I'm reminded that this series likes to pull some amazing expressions.

Botan reiterates that it's all fine because Yusuke can come back to life. Weren't you listening? He should feel honored, in fact, considering that an offer like this only arrives every 100 years or so. Well, that explains why all of humanity isn't grappling with people coming back to life on the daily. One person every generation isn't going to cause much of a stir.

However, instead of jumping at the chance Yusuke announces that Botan is just like the teachers at school: she doesn't know what she's talking about. “You said yourself my life was kind of pathetic, right?” he says, going on to explain that everyone will be happier now that he's dead. His school won't have to deal with his behavior, Keiko won't have to nag him, and his mom will be able to party whenever she wants. It's a win-win for everyone involved. 

Hmm, this feels familiar. 

Don't worry, Yusuke doesn't need to experience a whole alternate reality to get the message.

“I’m sorry you feel that way at such an early age," Botan says and she is sorry, because despite her teasing nature that's a legitimately horrifying thing to believe. Yusuke won't budge though and after a little back-and-forth Botan leaves, telling Yusuke he should think it over while visiting his wake. She'll come back once he decides what to do.

“Do you have worms in your ears, lady? I did decide!” but Botan is long gone.

We cut to that night where Yusuke has indeed decided to attend his own wake. Maybe because of Botan's advice, maybe because he's just morbidly curious. We’re not given insight into the decision. 

Atsuko is a mess, to put it mildly, not dressed for the occasion and sitting slumped against the way, staring vacantly as the guests offer their condolences. Yusuke is surprised by the fact that his entire class is here, but quickly writes them off when he sees two of the boys laughing. I'm on the fence about this detail, which I'll unpack in just a second.

First though, Yusuke sees Keiko exiting the house, inconsolable in her grief. She collapses on the ground with her two friends trying to offer comfort, despite the fact that they had nothing good to say about Yusuke himself. Good on them.

Before he can think too long on this though, Yusuke is distracted by Kuwabara's arrival. Unlike Keiko's crying, he expresses his grief through yelling. Specifically, yelling at Yusuke. For dying. For daring to "run away." His own friends are physically holding him back as he charges into the wake, screaming, “Who am I gonna fight now, huh? Who am I gonna fight?" It's not really about the fighting, of course. At least, not the fighting alone. "You’re supposed to be here for me," Kuwabara finishes, the punch he's thrown at Yusuke's photo going limp and catching his first tear.

You know, for all the  goofy expressions, this show really is gorgeous. Just wait until we get to the fight animations.

Kuwabara's reaction is why I hesitate to write off the classmates like Yusuke has. Granted, we have no reason to believe that they care for him as Kuwabara does — they're nameless background characters defined only by their terror of "the great Urameshi" — but it's still a split second taken out of context. We don't know what they were laughing at, or if laughing is a part of their grief. God knows I personally laugh at the most inappropriate moments. If you tell me someone has just died there is a very good chance I will laugh awkwardly as I try to process that. It’s just a reflex. All of which I bring up not because these side characters are important, but because Yusuke's perception of his own worth is. The point of each of these moments is to show that those around him have always cared for him, even if Yusuke didn't notice. It's nice to think that extends to his classmates too. The variety likewise exists to show us how people grieve differently, with Kuwabara's friends not understanding that this is how he's working through the trauma: “This place is for mourning!” He is mourning, even if his way of mourning isn't as socially acceptable as Keiko's. So if screaming and throwing punches is valid, crying is valid, staring stoically in a drunk stupor is valid... why not laughter too?

Not likely, perhaps, but possible.

As an additional possibility to chew on, watching this premier again, it struck me how more emotional Kuwabara's scene is compared to Keiko's. Don't get me wrong, crying and calling Yusuke’s name gets the point across, but it's two seconds of generic grief compared to a much longer scene rife with intensity. When Kuwabara arrives the music swells and everyone is forced to pay attention to him. His grief is loud, violent, and given symbolism with his fist and the photo. There's more effort put into his reaction, frankly, so it wouldn't surprise me if fans started shipping them after this. That grief combined with an "enemies to lovers" possibility is a pretty potent mix. To be clear, Yusuke/Keiko is the (oh so obvious) canonical endgame and in the fandom Yusuke/Kuwabara can't compare to another slash ship that will turn up later, but this is a good example of how writers can craft some Very Gay Scenes without realizing it. When you have the girl crying prettily for a second and the guy absolutely losing his mind over Yusuke's death, questioning his purpose now, his support network, and then collapsing in grief... don't be surprised if your audience goes, "Oh hey, maybe they'd be a good couple instead."

But I digress.

The only people who are unquestioningly happy about Yusuke's passing are Mr. Iwamoto and his co-conspirator, Mr. Akashi. You know Akashi is another bad guy because he has bucked teeth and "ugliness" is an easy way to code for evilness. YYH is not immune to those mistakes :/

These two are really something else though, standing in the middle of a wake and claiming it's “too bad that car wasn’t big enough for them too," referring to Kuwabara and his friends. Wow! What stellar members of the academic community. Iwamoto goes on to say that Yusuke dying at least accomplished something good. Not, mind you, saving the life of a child, but rather looking good for their school's reputation. Akashi agrees, but says it's likely Yusuke only accidentally saved him while trying to steal the kid's lunch money. Remember, that accusation of theft is the one thing Yusuke has said outright that he does not do.

He's pissed listening to all this — wouldn't you be? — but knows by now he can't do anything about it. In another fantastic shot, Yusuke hovers his hand over Iwamoto's shoulder, desperate to grab him, when Takenaka's arrives there instead.

“What do you suppose is more disgraceful? That boy showing his misery, or your insensitive and idiotic words!”

HELL YEAH. You tell 'em, Mr. Takenaka.

Yusuke gets his third shock of the night at this passionate defense. Takenaka leaves the teachers to go pay his respects, but admits to Yusuke's picture that he just can't speak well of him. He was surprised to hear that Yusuke gave up his life for another and it's a fact that he acted selfishly. Though he doesn't say it in as many words, Takenaka explains that he's not grieving because Yusuke was a good person, but because it's so clear to him that he might have been. “Why didn’t you stay? You could have made something great out of yourself.”

Normally, "Why didn't you stay?" is just something for the living to grapple with, as the dead obviously don't have any say in what happens to them. But Yusuke does. It's here that the lighting grows soft again and Yusuke considers Takenaka's words. Keiko and Kuwabara grieve for who he was, but Takenaka grieves for who Yusuke could have been — someone that might still exist if Yusuke decides to undergo this ordeal.

Atsuko adds fuel to the emotional fire, breaking down and hiding her face in her knees.

Finally, the kid Yusuke saved arrives with his mother. Because yes, Yusuke saved him in every way that matters, considering no one else knows — or will know — that he'd have lived anyway. I like that the show doesn't allow that knowledge to undermine the emotion of their arrival, or what Yusuke’s act meant to them. 

The mom tells her son to pay his respects and the kid thanks Yusuke for saving him, and for "making faces." He clearly doesn't get what's going on here. This is confirmed as the two leave and he asks his mom if he can play with Yusuke again tomorrow. “I know some people sounded angry at him, but he’s really nice!" 

They're probably just crying because they want to play with him too, he thinks, which just makes his mom join in. Everyone is crying in this club tonight.

Those words are the cincher for Yusuke and with a brief montage of all the grief he's witnessed, he makes his decision.

We cut to later that night where Yusuke floats above the city, admiring the moon. Botan reappears and he asks, “Have you ever not known about something that seemed obvious to everyone else?” Yes, everyone has experienced that at one point or another. She asks if he's made his decision and Yusuke agrees to try and come back to life.

Emotional revelations out of the way, we're allowed another tone shift as Botan yells with joy, speeding off and causing Yusuke to grab hold of the end of her oar, lest he be left behind. Cranky as always, he demands to know where they're going. "To the spirit world, of course!" They're off to see someone who can explain the ordeal and give Yusuke the tool needed to complete it. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.

Thus ends our very first episode! Ah, the nostalgia. This is part one of a four arc series, with the anime cutting out a lot of the filler stories found at the start of the manga — a smart decision, I think. They primarily do the work of teaching Yusuke what he learned at the wake, so if you can accomplish that as quickly as the adaptation did, all the better. Especially since Yusuke needs to grow a great deal beyond the basic understanding that people might, sort of care for him, and that work will occur primarily through a job he's going to take on. The series isn't really about his death and it's not about an attempt to come back either — it's about what happens once you get that second chance. So this is the setup, but it's important setup all the same.

No need to skip ahead though. I've blathered enough for one recap. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you when the writing gods next bless me with energy! 💜