#i was startin’ to miss queue
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lexi: when is your birthday?
fez: february 22nd
lexi: of what year?
fez: every year
#source: hot fuzz#fexi#incorrect quotes#euphoria#fez x lexi#incorrect fexi#i was startin’ to miss queue#fezco#euphoria hbo#lexi howard#maude apatow#angus cloud#fez#lexi x fez#fezco x lexi#fezco euphoria#fez euphoria#lexi euphoria#lexco#fexi incorrect quotes
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[//Hehehehe, "Mathfinder."]
Midori giggled. "Ooh, yeah. I'm feelin' kinda relaxed already!" She took another long drag off of the cigar and coughed once as she exhaled. "Ha ha! Yes. As I'm sure you know, people say I'm not normal! Oh, I'm just gonna...sit down...for a bit...." She took a seat next to Ferenir.
"I was wonderin' if it'd be like flayleaf. Kinda relaxin' but with a euphoric effect. I tried that once, an' OH MY GODS FERENIR, you would not believe this, but it made me act kinda silly. An' more rambunctious." She held the cigar in her mouth and put out her palms, flexing her fingers. "An' maybe a bit...handsy. No, no! Not like in a sexual harassin' kind o' way! I would never! Just cuddlier. Oh, hey, I think this stuffs kickin' in. I might stop bein' so shy an' get talkative! Ha! I mean, I'm not actually shy, jus' tryin' to make a joke. Wait, why did I feel the need to explain that?" She drew from the cigar once more.
"I like it! Makes me feel warm inside. So, you gave this to me, knowin' it would make me more honest an' open? What'cha gonna do?" She looked Ferenir squarely in the eyes. "Ask me all o' my deep...." She leaned in more closely. "...dark...." More closely still. "...secrets?" she whispered.
"Ohhh, I don't feel like that'll be a problem, anyhow, the way I feel all the words queueing up to come on out. Wow, I'm startin' to sound like my li'l sister Akane. She was the talker of all o' us siblings; she'd jus' talk an' talk an' talk some more. An' by 'li'l sister,' I mean she's one of my three younger sisters. In the same litter as my youngest brother. They were quadruplets. I'm a quadruplet, too, jus' in a different litter. An' my elder siblings were triplets. I miss them! For years, I thought they were all dead, along with Mama an' Papa, but then, that night when I fought Skarja the Night Hag an' I almost crossed over an' I saw Mama an' Papa an' Myron an' even Toby, my siblings weren't there waiting with them. So could they still be alive? Probably. My life is full o' plot twists...like it was written by some sadistic author with too many ideas at once!" Midori took another drag from the cigar and leaned against Ferenir's arm.
"You know," she continued, "my parents liked color-based names for us. I was almost named Aka. Means 'red,' like my hair. An' Akane means 'deep red,' like her hair. But they took a look at my green eyes, the first green eyes of all their children, an' named me Midori. I think Midori sounds better anyhow. What do you think?" Midori puffed on her cigar.
@steel-and-fire
Midori asks, "Ooh, I heard something about you havin' cigars. What kind an' where from? "
"Oh? Are you interested? I don't smoke them often, since I need to smoke a ton to be affected. Not very cost efficient. But now and then I indulge."
He took out a little case, and showed them to Midori. They were large, and even cold one could immediately smell the strong herbal auroma.
"They are called 'Dragon's Breath', although it's purely a nickname. They are very strong, and normally, um...Ill-advised for humanoids, beyond a single drag. But for me, it's the only thing that works.
I get them from a dragonborn merchant I find often in my travels, I make sure to resupply when we meet."
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List 5 things that make u happy, then put this in the ask box of the last 10 people who reblogged something from u. Spread positivity ✨💛🌻
noice ty!! i haven't rlly got many ppl in my notifs bcos my queue ran out a while ago so this goes out to anyone who sees this aha
my girlfriend!! she's the best <3
my job ... and hopefully my new job! startin tomorrow woo
my cat! he's at my parents house and i miss him
walking and going on walks and stuff
sushi. best food
thanks both of u!!
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You, Me, and Yancy | Chapter 9: Escape
Read me on AO3!
Previous chapter
You woke up with the very firm knowledge that today was your last day in prison. This was the day Yancy was going to help you escape. You felt nervous with excitement and anticipation, but a small part of your heart wrenched when you met with Yancy and his gang after lunch.
Yancy was hunched over staring at the table when you joined him, lost in thought. It took Hank nudging him to bring his attention to your arrival. He blinked and sat up, barely shooting you a smile before launching into the plan.
The plan was simple. When you were getting dinner, Tiny was going to push you into Yancy. Yancy would take a swing at you, and the rest of the gang would declare a fight to alert The Warden.
“And what happens after that?” You asked.
“Ah don’t worry, I got a few tricks up my sleeve,” Yancy replied. He smiled at you with a wink, but his smile still didn’t reach his eyes.
You wanted to spend some more time with Yancy before your departure, but he whisked himself away from the table shortly after, claiming he had some business to take care of before your escape could commence. You sighed as the rest of the gang departed, leaving you alone.
The evening rolled round all too quickly, and you were back in the canteen once more. You joined the queue for food, Tiny slipping in front of you. She nodded to you, and you nodded back. Yancy was stood behind you, the first time you had seen him in many hours. His hands were clasped in front of him, a tight smile on his face before he cast his eyes back down to the floor once again. You looked around at the other prisoners, all of whom were eating their food and shooting occasional glances your way. The guards milled around the edges of the room, utterly clueless to what was brewing in front of them.
A couple of minutes passed as you shuffled forward in the queue. You were about to turn to Yancy and ask him when this would be happening when Tiny stopped in her tracks. You bumped into her with a huff. She didn’t miss a beat, whipping round and shoving you backwards into Yancy.
“Hey!” Yancy snapped, pushing you away from him. A look of venom was plastered onto his face, but you saw it crack for a split second before chaos ensued.
Despite her nickname, Tiny had one hell of a pair of lungs on her.
“Fight!”
Every prisoner scrambled to their feet and surrounded you, holding back the guards like a human barricade as Yancy raised his fists. He took a purposefully slow swing in your direction and you ducked, keeping your eyes trained on him as shouts and screams rang in your ears. You were anxious at the prospect of having to hit him again when the lights turned red and alarms blared once more, indicating that The Warden was on his way. You gulped and glanced at Yancy, who gave you a reassuring wink. You didn’t miss his hands clenching into fists as he curled in on himself.
The circle parted to reveal The Warden, who marched forward and grabbed Yancy’s arm. You winced, scowling as he pointed a finger at Yancy’s face.
“Yancy!” He barked, flecks of spit flying out of his mouth in every direction. “What did I tell you about startin’ fights?”
Yancy gulped, shaking his head from side to side. “B-b-but-”
“You have given me no other choice!”
A guard stepped forward and The Warden tossed Yancy towards him.
“Put him in solitary!”
Your heart started pounding in your chest. Either the plan hadn’t worked, or it was one hell of a strange plan. By the time the lights returned to normal and the alarm died out, you were a quivering mess. The Warden rounded in on you.
“And you,” he spat. “Get back to your cell.”
A harsh grip landed on your shoulder and escorted you out of the canteen. You were pushed down the hallway and into your cell, the guard closing the bars behind you with a loud clang.
You sighed and scratched the back of your neck, unsure of what to do next. You looked towards your bed; maybe this plan of Yancy’s wouldn’t occur for a few more hours, so getting some rest didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Not like you had anything else to do.
You climbed under your covers, looking up at the bottom of the bed above you. What you saw made you shoot out from under the sheets faster than a bullet from a gun.
“Hey buddy. How ya doin’?”
“Yancy!” You hissed, trying not to yell. “What are you doing here? How did you get out of solitary?”
“Told ya, I got a few tricks up my sleeve,” he replied with a smirk, pulling a piece of black material from his pocket. “Looks like, uh… looks like it might be time to break outta here, but before we do, I need ya to put this on.”
Yancy held the material out to you. You frowned at him in confusion.
“Awh listen, it ain’t nothin’ personal. I just don’t want word gettin’ out about my escape routes, ya hear? Cause if you know, then yous gonna tell others, and then theys gonna tell others, and then suddenly, everyone’s breakin’ out, when no one-”
You put a finger to his lips, shocking him out of his irritated spiel. He went cross-eyed looking at your finger, but he didn’t seem to mind. You smiled and rolled your eyes at him, taking the material and tying it around your eyes.
“Yeah. I get it.”
“Good move. Now let’s get goin’. But, uh, watch ya head.”
With your makeshift blindfold securely in place, Yancy took your hand and led you to your escape.
A few hop, skips, and jumps later, you were on solid ground once more, and a light breeze indicated that you were outside. Yancy’s hand let go of yours, and you took off your blindfold.
“And there you have it!” He declared.
You looked around, taking in your surroundings. You relished in the sky above you, having only seen a concrete ceiling for most of the last few days. The grass you were standing on was slightly overgrown, and it tickled your ankles. You didn’t want to take these small details for granted ever again.
“Oh and, uh…” Yancy caught your attention again, producing two items.
“I think these are youses?” He asked, holding them out to you. It was your cell phone – unmistakably yours by its unique casing – and the artefact.
You gasped, taking the objects from him. “Yancy, thank you! How did you-”
Yancy shrugged his shoulders and scratched the back of his neck, looking down at the ground. “It’s no big deal. I just… I slipped by the Warden’s office to have a little chat on the way over here. I saw that thing,” he pointed to the box, “that yous walked in with, so uh… I dunno. I thought you’d want it.”
A smile broke out onto your face, your heart melting. It soon froze again as Yancy casually grasped two of the bars on the gate.
He was still on the other side.
“Yancy…” You cleared your throat. “Do you… why don’t you…”
You couldn’t get the words out, too afraid of rejection. You gestured instead, beckoning him to come with you.
Yancy blinked in surprise. “Me? Out there? With you?”
He smiled, but you could see the torment in his eyes. He glanced at the ground again, shuffling his hands on the bars.
“Nah, I uh… I done a lot of bad things, and uh… this is home! For now, anyway.” He gestured to the prison behind him.
The breeze seemed to pick up and chill you to your very core as his words sunk in. You took a step closer.
“Yancy, you told me yourself that you didn’t kill your parents. Why do time for something you didn’t do?”
Yancy shuffled his hands again and hung his head with a sigh.
“Look, Zero… I appreciate what yous sayin’, but I still done a few bad things. I ain’t perfect.” He attempted a smile, but it fell flat when he looked at your sombre expression.
“Neither am I, but you still helped me. Is what you did really bad enough to stay in here for… for what, forever?”
Your voice was growing hoarse with emotion, not wanting to let go of his kindness and charm so soon. You had only known each other for a few days, but the pounding of your heart told you more than your brain could ever rationalise. You placed a hand over his. His gaze fixed on your hand, and he flexed his fingers. You hoped he would intertwine his hand with yours, but he merely drew his hand back and returned it to rub the side of his neck. He let out another deep sigh, meeting your eyes once more.
“Maybe next time parole comes up, I’ll… give it a shot.” The last four words were barely above a whisper, and you felt your heart clench yet again. You wanted to pull him towards you, hug him tight and never let go, but you couldn’t.
“Anyway,” Yancy snapped himself out of his guilt-ridden expression. “I better get back to it. You take care now, ya hear?”
You swallowed, barely managing a smile. “You too.”
Yancy returned his hand to yours, giving it one final squeeze before he began to pace away from the gate.
“Visitation, every third Sunday!” He shouted.
The two of you kept your eyes locked for as long as possible. When you finally did look away to turn on your phone, Yancy was gone.
A lump formed in your throat. You paced away from the gate, turning around to see only the side of the prison building and a desolate road.
You were alone again.
You leaned against a nearby tree, taking a deep breath in and out. You were out of prison, you were liberated, yet somehow you felt emptier than you had in the past couple of days you’d spent behind bars.
Your phone vibrated, startling you out of your worried mind. It was fully operational, with half the battery still left. A stream of missed calls and messages from friends and family trickled in, many of them asking where the hell you were and why you weren’t replying. Guilt flooded your body, and you made a mental note to reply to them as soon as you were safe and apologise for leaving them hanging. You tapped through your contacts, looking for a getaway, though in the back of your mind you already knew the best person to call.
Mark’s face and number appeared on your screen. He had a big cheesy grin on his face, hair splaying around. It must have been windy when he took that picture. Your stomach lurched as your thumb hovered over the call button, taking one final look around you for any passing cars you could hitch a ride from, but the road was empty.
“Son of a bitch,” you cursed to yourself, locking your phone. Seeing his face again sent your blood boiling after what you’d witnessed the night before on the security cameras, but your stomach still fluttered with all the fond memories you’d had with him. You curled up at the base of the tree, tears springing to your eyes as you hugged your knees.
Just when you were about to give in, you thought of one other solution.
You looked at the artefact, still clutched in your other hand. Shark said it contained something, right?
“Please, please be something good,” you prayed, prying off the lid and tipping the contents into your lap.
Whatever fell out wasn’t heavy. You picked it up. It was a key, and around it was a small piece of rolled-up paper. You unravelled it, revealing a message.
This universal skeleton key can unlock ANY lock ever made.
You read the message again, huffing a breath of disbelief. The key looked old but mostly unimposing. To think it held such power took your breath away.
You glanced at the prison gate. Your heart started racing again, thinking of Yancy on the other side, alone in his cell. You glanced to the road. You thought of Mark getting an earful from Shark for failing the heist. Maybe he even missed you.
“Why can’t everything be easy?” You questioned, looking down at the phone and the key in your hands. One of them led to a life you wanted, but figuring out exactly which was which was a whole other puzzle. Your heart was being pulled in two directions, one by a man you barely knew, and the other by a man you weren’t sure you could trust anymore.
Finally, your brain kicked into action.
What was that Yancy said earlier?
You heard his words in your mind, clear as day in his accent.
“Visitation, every third Sunday.”
Everything clicked into place as you hatched a plan. You stood up with a new sense of purpose, key tightly in your grasp.
You unlocked your phone and called Mark.
Next chapter
#a heist with markiplier#ahwm#heist mark#heist mark x reader#heist! mark x reader#yancy x reader#ahwm yancy x reader#ahwm yancy#my writing#nevernotwriting
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DUMPLING ch 42
The dress was a buttercup yellow with white rimmed sleeves that dragged on the floor. Nenani stood very still as Lolly carefully pinned the dress in several places to get the fit just right. Her mother stood to the side, watching with an odd mixture of emotions.
“You look beautiful, Nenani,” she said. But there was something in her eyes that made her look sad.
“The sleeves are so long,” Nenani said, tilting her head to look at Lolly and flapping her arms. “I look like a bird...”
“It’s the fashion right now,” Lolly said with a suppressed grin. “All the ladies at court are wearing them long. You will be turning heads when they see you.”
“Why do I need to be turning heads?” Nenani asked, feeling nervous. After her talk with Jae and Farris about the upcoming dinner, she was beginning to have serious reservations about the whole ordeal.
“Because you’re going to a dance,” her mother told her straight faced. “And it’s better to go wearing the proper shoes.”
Giving her mother a befuddled tilt of the head, Nenani asked, “Huh?”
“This dinner will be our first introduction to the Vhasshalan court in an official capacity,” Oira told her. “It would be better to make a good impression. And clothes are the first thing they will see. Well, aside from us being human that is. People at court have a certain capacity to be shallow and cruel. It was true in Silvaara and it’s true here in Vhasshal. We have to present to them a carefully painted picture so we can’t give them anything that might come back to haunt us later.”
Nenani looked up at Lolly with an anxious look. “I don’t think I want to go...”
“Don’t fret, Nenani,” Lolly told her gently. “All you need to do is stand there and look pretty. His majesty and your mother with handle everything else.”
As Lolly finished the fitting, Nenani could not strike the feeling from her mind that she was not going to enjoy any of it.
…………………………………………………..
It was a little awkward carrying her dagger and the roll of leather, but even as Jae asked for the fifth time if she needed help carrying anything, she assured him she was fine. But as they rounded the edge of the guard barracks and made their way to the smithy, Nenani turned to stared at Jae as he walked beside her, noting the bottle in his hand. When he looked over and saw her staring, his brow furrowed. “What?”
“I thought you were going to get rid of that,” she said, pointing to bottle of whiskey.
“I am,” Jae replied with a dismissive shrug. “I’m givin’ it to Connar. To try and bribe him into making your belt for you. Not that I think he would refuse you. But a little bribery never hurt. Plus, it’s easier to give this away then just dump it.”
“I don’t understand how you could drink that stuff,” Nenani scrunched her nose up and adjusted the roll of leather under her one arm. “It smells terrible.”
“Wasn’t drinking it for the flavor,” Jae assured her. “But a lot of folks swear it’s the best tasting whiskey you can get. Keral’s famous for it.”
“Still smells bad.”
“Funnily enough,” Jae shot back with a smarmy grin. “So does Keral.”
In all her time living in Vhasshal, Nenani had met all the resident humans save for one; Connar. He was a metal and leather worker in the King’s smithy alongside his guardian, Hev. Another name Nenani was familiar with, but had no face to match it with. The metal medallion around her neck, Jae’s neck, and all other humans in the castle were all made by Connar. Ostensibly due their smaller size, the job was much more suited to human hands than a giant’s.
And as they drew nearer to their destination, the steady beat of metal striking metal became more pronounced and there was a metallic bite to the air itself as though she could smell the forge in the smithy just as she could smell the ovens in the kitchens. But instead of crusty loaves of yeasted breads, the only thing being pulled from the mouth of Hev’s fiery forge were the glowing bars of heated metal.
The smithy was a wide squat structure more reminiscent of a barn than a proper workshop. There was no door, rather the whole front of the building was left open. Tables were strewn with tools and weapons of all kinds and all in varying states of manufacture or repair. There was a barrel off to one side filled to the brim with flat metal blanks in the vague shape of a sword, only waiting to be heated and shaped into their final form and given a hilt. The walls were filled as well with swords and daggers, axes of varying sizes from a small hatchet to an enormous battle ax. And then beneath all of it, Nenani could heard the great breathing bellows of the forge and waves of heat hit her face as they approached.
They passed under the shadow of the smithy’s interior and Nenani scanned the walls as they pushed inwards. So much metal and weaponry and leather. It reminded her of the first time she was taken into the kitchens where she saw all the knives and cleavers therein, but even that paled in comparison to the sheer number of blades hanging from the walls and laying atop tables.
“It’s pretty nice coming here in the winter,” Jae told her. “Stays nice and warm. But the summer is just brutal.”
Nenani paused to look over at a mace casually leaning against the leg of the table, marveling at the idea that anyone could pick up something so lumbering and heavy. It looked like it would be a challenge even for a giant.
Beside her, Jae slipped the bottle of whiskey under his arm and cupped his hands around his mouth. “HELLOOOOO!”
From further into the space came a response. “Hello?”
Jae turned to her and grinned before yelling back, “Hello!”
A pause and then a confused sounding, “Hello who?”
“Hello you.”
“Hello me?”
“Yeah.”
Another pause and an amused response came back. “...Jae? Is that ye?”
The young man laughed and called back, “Yeah, its me.”
There was a series of clanks and the sound of something shuffling around the dirt floor before a giant head peaked out from behind a wall near the back of the room. He had a round pleasant face and a dark, short cut beard with streaks of grey. His long black hair had been pulled into a long queue and it swung out from behind him when he poked his head out. Large brown eyes stared at them and then there was a flash of white teeth. “Well so ye are!”
The rest of the giant’s body followed his head from around the wall and he walked with long legged strides over to the pair of humans. A dark leather apron covered him from his chest down to his shins with the tawny fabric of his sleeves rolled up over thick burly arms. Despite considering herself very well accustomed to giants by this point, Nenani could not quell the sudden nervous bubble that form inside her as he bore down on them. He was more broad shouldered than either Farris or Bart and perhaps even taller. He towered over them for only a moment before he dropped down to one knee, leaning forward even more to be closer to their level. His face and arms were deeply tanned and there was a faint dusting of metal shavings stuck to his face and beard.
“Been a while since yev been down this way,” he said to Jae with an easy smile. “Was startin’ to think ye didn’t like us no more.”
“Nah, nothing like that. Things have just been kind of...hectic?”
The giant threw his head back with a loud short bark of a laugh. “So I heard. Some nutter tried to kill ye? Threw ye off the roof was it? Must be goin’ up in the world if someone found ye important enough to try and assassinate, lad. I’d congratulate ye, but it sounds like it’s more a pain in the arse than anythin’.”
“Nah, no such luck. I was just collateral,” Jae replied, gesturing with his thumb to Nenani. “He was after this one. Hev, this is Nenani.”
The giant’s thick eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Ah! So yer Farris’s lil’ squeaker? Ah, well, I suppose yer a Princess too, eh? Please excuse the state of me, yer grace. Always get a bit manky in the shop.”
“I’ll make you a deal. Don’t call me ‘princess’ or ‘your grace’ and I’ll forget everything else,” Nenani replied with a small smile.
“Oh?” Hev asked and then looked to Jae in confusion.
“She hates the titles,” he explained. “Best to just drop them.”
“Ah, well. I’ll try to do that, but forgive me if I slip once or twice. I don’t mean nothin’ by it.”
“Is Connar about?” Jae asked, holding the bottle up with a grin. “We got a commission for him.”
Hev dipped his head and huffed in amusement before lifting up again with a nod. “Oh, sure. He’s just nappin’ over near the rag pile. Cold weather makes his leg ache, so he likes to build himself a lil’ nest over there. I’ll get ‘im fer ye.”
Hev pushed himself back onto his feet and after a few quick stride of his long legs, disappeared back behind the wall. His voice could be heard clearly enough. “Connar, ye up? Come on then, wake up. Oi! Ye lazy bum. Put yer shirt back on. How can ye be complainin’ about the cold when he ye haven’t even got yer damn shirt on? Now get dressed and try to pretend yer civilized fer all of a few minutes, eh? Ye got company.”
There was a fainter groan and then a curse. “Huh? Wait...Really?”
“Yeah, Farris’s ward’s is here t’see yer sorry arse. Y’know...the Princess?”
“The...Princess? Wait. What?! Ah, shit!”
Hev gave a loud laugh.
“Where’s my shirt? Hev, where’s my shirt?”
“How should I know?”
“Well, I put it there and now it’s gone!”
“I didn’t steal yer grimy little shirt. What’d I even use it fer?”
“I dunno. Hide it for a laugh?”
“Ah, not this time.”
“Dammit...I know I had it...”
“...ye check yer pants?”
“What?”
“I said did ye check yer pants?”
“...wha…? Why would I check my pants for my shirt?”
“Because it’s tucked into yer arse, ye fuckin’ dolt.”
“What? Oh! Hey! There it is!”
There was a pause and the Hev said in a contemplative tone, “Sometimes I wonder how ye ever managed to miss seein’ that trap. And sometimes, like now, I don’t wonder quite as much.”
“...fuck you, Hev.”
“Love ye too, lad,” Hev replied cheekily and then shouted back at Nenani and Jae. “OK, yer grace. He’s decent enough. Oh, sorry. Already forgot about the title thing. I mean...yeah, yer good to come on back.”
Nenani shot Jae a look of confused amusement and he just grinned back. Rounding the wall that Hev had disappeared behind, the floor dropped two steps and opened into a large round room with a cone shaped ceiling that ended in a sharp point. Flat openings near the pitch of the roof were opened to the outside, letting smoke and heat escape. The farthest wall from the entrance was dominated by a round bricked forge that, to Nenani’s eye, looked very much like one of Quinn’s ovens, only much much larger. Around the lip of the forge were long black metal poles. Some were nestled into the glowing coals or leaning against the forge itself. Off to the left side was a large bellows, sitting on the ground and positioned perfectly for a giant to step upon it with their foot to breath air into the fire. Next to that sat a giant black anvil with on large hammer resting upon it.
To the right of the forge was an open barrel of water and just beyond that was a large pile of rags, all colored black from soot and dirt and it was there that Hev stood, looking down at a human as they adjusted their shirt and quickly tried to force their messy mop of hair into something presentable.
When Nenani and Jae hoped the last step and down onto the dirt floor, Hev looked up at them and flash a grin. “Ye might need to forgive the state of this one’s dress as well. I’d say he’s just feelin’ under the weather, but...he never really looks any better than this.”
“Shut it you.”
Nenani found herself slightly taken aback when she finally laid eyes on Connar. She had expected an older man by the way everyone spoke of him, but he was surprisingly young. Older than Jae, but perhaps more Riley’s age. Perhaps even a bit older, but only just.
Connar was a lean, dark haired young man with thin gray eyes and his face was marked with faint white lines across his tanned skin. Old scars. His hands were similarly marked, but the most prominent feature of his person was the distinct absence of his left leg. In it’s place was a carved wooden replacement. From his left knee down, his leg was gone and he stood instead with a false one peaking out from the folded fabric of his gray trousers. However, instead of a plain round peg as Nenani had seen before on some sailors, Connar’s fake leg was carved as though to mimic the real leg he had lost. It had even been oiled and polished and he wore a shoe as well to match the one on his right foot.
He must have seen her staring at it, because when she looked up to meet his eye, he wore a knowing expression. “Lost it to a snap trap a couple years back,” he explained. “Some fucker was pouching on the King’s land while I happened to be trespassing through it and snap! No more leg.”
Her eyes widened in horror at the prospect. “That’s terrible!”
“Oh it was,” Hev agree vehemently. “Lil’ fella almost bled out in my arms.”
“But you’re not here to listen to my sob story,” Connar said, waving a hand and looking down at the roll of leather under Nenani’s arms. “Have a project for me, your grace?”
Hev bent down and tapped Connar on the head.
“Ow!”
“She doesn’t like titles.”
“Fine! You just needed to say. Ugh, that hurt!”
“Ah, I didn’t get ye that bad.”
“Says you,” Connar shot back, rubbing his head and wincing. He shook off the pain and annoyance and turned his attention back to Nenani and Jae. “So, what’ve you got for me, your-not-grace?”
“Nonna gave me this,” she said, holding out the dagger. “And I was wondering if you could make me a belt for it.”
Connar reached out and took the dagger, pulling it from its sheath and inspected the blade. Holding it to the light, he turned his eyes to Nenani. “You’re Thorn?”
“On my father’s side. Yeah.”
His eyes drifted down to the amulet around her neck. “And what about that?”
“It’s a fire opal,” she explained. “It helps keep my magic from spilling out all at once so I don’t die.”
Above them, Hev grunted, his eyed wide. “That can happen?”
“Yep,” Jae answered for her. “Almost did.”
“Well, that would be bad,” Connar replied. His eyes lingered on the metal chain. “Might want to swap that chain though. The links are far too thin to be holding up something that heavy. It’s gonna bust loose if you’re not careful.”
Connar slipped the dagger back into its sheath and then inspected the leather work of it. He hummed appreciatively. “They’re well made. The metal is very good. The blade needs sharpening, but I don’t think they really sharpen these. They’re ceremonial if I’m remembering right. Can’t have little kids stabbing each other, I suppose.”
He handed it back to Nenani, but as she tried to reclaim the dagger, the roll of leather fell from her arms. Connar picked it up and let it unroll. Holding it up, he whistled. “This would do well for a nice belt. But, is that all you’re wanting? Just a belt? There’s a lot more material here.”
She shrugged. “What else could you do with it?”
Connar gave her a devilish grin. “Oh, so many things. Tell you what. If can trust me enough, go on and leave me this here leather and come back to see me in...oh, about two days? I’ll have something for you.”
She nodded and smiled. “Okay.”
Jae stepped up and held out the bottle to him. “Here. Something to sweeten the pot.”
Connar’s eyes lite up. “Is that what I think it is?”
“Yeah,” Jae replied. “Promised Farris I’d keep away from it. So I’m back sucking lime flower leaves.”
Connar quickly rolled the leather back up and slipped it under his arm before eagerly grabbing up the bottle. “Well, that’s your loss,” he said and then looked back to Nenani. “Let me revise my previous statement. Come back in three days and I’ll have something you’ll absolutely love. And I’ll see about getting a better chain for your amulet too.”
“Thank you!” she said excitedly.
Conna held up the bottle. “No, thank you.”
………………………..
Despite the cold weather, the repairs on the west wing were coming along at an astonishing pace. All the broken roof tiles had been pulled off and the masonry underneath taken apart, stone by stone, and finally the fire damaged wood beams. Large new timbers had been delivered and installed to replace them and the masons were now laying back the foundation stones with fresh mortar. But as the giants worked, their craftsmanship was not the focus of Nenani and Jae’s fascination.
“How would it even have gotten there?”
“It must be part of the original structure. Like the tunnels.”
“You’re saying that the humans who built those tunnels would have also been the ones to build that?”
“Well, who else would have?”
“There’s no way!”
“They must have, though. Unless ancient Vhasshalans did.”
“It’s huge!”
“What? You don’t think humans can build big things? Have you ever seen castle Nethwyn? Well...I guess you haven’t. But’s it’s freaking huge too. The great hall was big enough to fit a hundred people and thirty giants comfortably. At least that’s what I always heard.”
From the vantage point of a high gable, Jae and Nenani stared down into the open wound of the west wing’s roof and at an enormous stone head that rose up from within the thick walls. It was nearly as tall as a giant and three times as wide. The damage done by the dragon’s attack had revealed it when work began on the repairs and more astonishing was that there seemed to be more the further down they went. The back of its head faced into the corridor and was the majority of what was visible while its face, still obscured by the outer stone wall, looked out into the valley.
“I thought Warren was just having a laugh when he said they found a giant head in the wall,” Jae said. “Or that maybe I just understood what he was telling me. Yaesha had given me some potent tonics.”
“Do you think there’s more of them?” Nenani asked.
“Maybe,” he said lightly. “But seeing how dug in that one it, it might take another dragon attack for the others to be dug out.”
Nenani made a face. “I wonder if he’s gonna have them wall it back up.”
“Don’t know. Seems a pity to cover it back up again.”
“Yeah.”
A short silence fell between them.
“So,” Jae said, breaking the quite, and tilting his head to peer at her curiously. “You ready for your official debut at court?”
“No,” she replied, her eyes watching one of the workmen slather a trowel with mortar and place a vaguely square shaped stone into place and giving it a rapid tap with the butt of his trowel before turning back to his bucket and beginning the process again with the next stone. “But I’ll be there. I’m just gonna do what Lolly said and just...sit there and look pretty. I guess. The dress is pretty heavy so that might be all I can do anyway. Are you going?”
He sighed. “Warren asked me if I would come and I tried to make an excuse, but Rosanna answered for me. So I’m going. And she’s already picked out my clothes for me and everything. And I swear she’s deliberately choosing the doublets that are just constricting enough for me not to be able to have any free movement. It’s like what I imagine wearing a corset’s like.”
Nenani laughed. “She knows you better than you give her credit for.”
“I mean...it’s nice not having to look over my shoulder all the time, but really. She’s starting to act like she’s my mom. Just this morning for example! When I went to talk to Warren, she didn’t like how I combed my hair and then did it for me. And Warren had the biggest shit-eating grin. It’s been years since I’ve had the urge to hit him, but ugh...got really close then. Could have done with that arm of yours. Wouldn’t thrown my damn shoe at him.”
“Yale must be right, then,” Nenani giggled. “Maybe she’s practicing being a mommy on you.”
Jae glared at her with an unimpressed look.
“So, speaking of the dinner,” Nenani said, steering the conversation away from the subject of the Queen. “Do have any pointers for me? On what I should and shouldn’t do?”
“Oh sure,” Jae replied. “A warning: a lot of courtiers might try to mess with you.”
“Mess with me?” Nenani frowned. “How?”
“Nothing too bad. And I don’t think Eldherst will bother you. I’m gonna bet he’ll be pestering Warren about the armory again. I just mean a lot of the Lords in power now were there during the war and some still harbor...ill feelings towards humans. Though not overtly. They’re a lot more...subtle about it. One or two of the older ones just saw me as Warren’s pet when I first came. One of them even asked me once wear my leash was and why I wasn’t on it. Should’ve told Warren about it, but I was still a kid and just wanted to leave. But I told Keral the next day. Supposedly he crushed up a dried red dragon pepper and slipped it into the Lord’s snuff box.”
With a look of horror, Nenani put her hand to her nose. Her mind supplying the mental image of someone snorting even just a small bit of regular pepper sounded horribly painful. But her horror turned into giggles and Jae grinned with her.
“For you though, the one I’d look out for most is Lord Calem. Tallish guy. Always wears this hideous yellow coat and wears too much cologne. You’ll be able to smell him long before you see him.”
“Why? Does he not like humans?”
“No. Opposite in fact. He is...very friendly.”
She looked at him askance. “How...is that a bad thing?”
It was Jae’s turn to make a face. “He’s a well meaning, but totally condescending idiot with no sense of personal space. And when he drinks, he gets all...cuddly. Especially with humans. I’ll tolerate Kol’s nonsense to a point. He’s my friend. But not Colem. He’s one of the main reasons I stopped going to those things.”
“What?” she laughed.
“Yep. He’ll want to pet you. Like...a pet. Like a dog. After two glasses of wine, he’ll get all up in your face and try to pet on you,” Jae said with a grin and then shrugged. “And since you’re small and cute, better watch out.”
She blinked at Jae’s choice of words, feeling her face flush.
“What?” he asked, looking at her.
“Nothing,” she replied quickly.
“...serious. You all right? I mean, the guy’s annoying, but he’s no Thrist.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
“...you just...well...you called me cute.”
“Uh huh..?” He drawled, squinting at her and she felt the heat in her face increase and she turned away from him to try and hide it. He leaned into her field of vision, a single eyebrow raised. “You feeling okay?”
“Yes.”
“You sure?”
“Yup.”
“Because you’re red.”
“I’m fine.”
“Like...beet red.”
“I said I’m fine!”
He smirked at her suddenly. “Oh.”
“Shut up,” she snapped and rose to her feet, turning to the open window behind them and hoping down onto the table below.
Jae leaned over to peer at her. “But I didn’t say anything...”
She glared at him. “I said shut up!”
With a smug grin so reminiscent of Keral that she felt the very real urge to punch him, he said, “You...you don’t fancy me do you?”
“No!” Her fingers sparked as she slammed the window shut and then pulled the latch down for good measure.
“Hey!” Jae got to his feet and pushed at the window. “Open up! Geez, Nenani, I was just joking!”
Nenani pretended she couldn’t hear him as she carefully climbed down the table leg, too angry and mortified to feel any pride in having gotten down off of a table all on her own.
“Nenani! Come one!”
“There are other windows!” she called back as she rounded the corner to find the tunnel door.
....................................
BONUS ART: Oh look! It’s ol’ Hev.
#Dumpling#G/t story#g/t#Giant/tiny#g/t fantasy story#Hev#Connar#Nenani#Jae#Lolly#Oira#g/t writing#Dumpling art
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hey! what the fuck!
hey hey hey i missed the Mark(tm) but im here etc etc
i’d been plannin’ on makin’ this post for a while but i’ve been puttin’ it off, so here we go! ive got a bunch of things to say (includin’ “thanks a lot”), but ill be throwin’ most of it under the cut since its gonna get sorta long, so bear with me here cuz im gonna talk about some lil changes n things i’ll be makin’ now that this blogs gettin’ real busy
okay okay okay, hey! i’m mod r, or, as people call me nowadays, apollo! and i thought id clarify a buncha things and talk about some stuff in general, as said above.
as you can see, we’ve gotten a fuck ton of followers n now things are gettin’ busy for us as we’ve been gettin’ submissions (and asks) just about daily. and by we i mean me, because theres only one person runnin’ this blog n it’s me (surprise! i dont know why i keep usin’ plural.) and with that im just gonna start settin’ up a few changes to make things run more smoothly
i wanna say now that we’ve been runnin’ on a queue, and have been for awhile, but with all the submissions im gonna be startin’ to up the daily post count and what not. so as a fair warnin’, the daily post count may change seemin’ly erratically as i manage the queue
another, smaller thing i wanna say is that i am changin’ my tag on here, since i finally settled on a name. i’ll be taggin’ posts (mostly unrelated) made by me specifically as #admin apollo from now on, in case you want to blacklist that
also as mentioned previous, we’ve been gettin’ a fair few asks now and it made me decide that i should probably set up an FAQ for the more technical stuff, so if you have any burnin’ questions that you need answered, nows the time to ask! you can also ask me specific questions, i guess, but theres no promise i wont give you a bit of gentle snark or dodge them all together if i feel theyre a bit too personal.
and since its been mentioned, i’ve been contemplatin’ openin’ mod spaces, but we’ll see about that. other than that, i just plan on organizin’ the blog a bit more and gettin’ things together, but since im having a go at it, i wanted to mention that ya’ll need to make sure to tag things properly when you’re able to (i.e. you’re not on mobile), mostly because im tired of removin’ extra tags or addin’ new ones. please spare me.
so! TL;DR 1. i’m admin apollo now, feel free to blacklist the tag by the same name 2. the queue may be messed with, so watch out for that i guess 3. im organizin’ the blog and settin’ up an faq. send your questions 4. PLEASE tag your submissions properly 5. fuck i forgot to mention this, but ill be taggin’ asks as “splasks (splat asks)” or somethin’ of the like and only answerin’ them on specific days to keep things less cluttered. feel free to black list that tag as well
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bcssbitchs:
THE JOKER DIDN’T LIKE BEING OUTSMARTED. not that anyone would ever do that, of course, because as always, he was in charge of everything and everyone around him, but.. as of now, this idiot was attempting to do that much and he wanted to tear him apart, bone by one, and send his bones to harley-darley, so she’d know that she wasn’t going to get away with everything that she had done, in the first place. “AH, AIN’T YOU QUITE THE PRINCE CHARMING? my, my… I CAN ALMOST SEE WHAT SHE SEES IN YOU! only… you aren’t me.” and he knew that his little pet always came back to him, in the first place and as of now, he didn’t have the first thing to be worried about. and if she didn’t, he’d bring her back to him, by killing everyone that she had ever loved. one by one, including the little brat that she had kept from him. “you haven’t meet your match, that’s why you’re strolling around half-cocked, believing you’re something more than a little toy soldier, that everyone can dispose of.” he couldn’t help it but to laugh, because.. for once, he could barely hold it in. oh, yes, this was hilarious. this was going to be fun. and he was going to enjoy getting rid of this idiot, in the first place. “WHY, BUT.. me, of course! i’m an idea. i’m a state of mind, everything in this little town belongs to me, including little harley-darley and the brat that she wanted to keep from me. SO, IF YOU’LL KINDLY STEP AWAY.. i can give them both a permanent smile.” joker moved forward, pressing the tip of his cane against the other’s neck and as of now, this was not going to be pretty. he didn’t want it to be. “oh, is it?” he giggled. “what do you know about her that i don’t? oh, please enlighten me. was it you who gave her pathetic life meaning? was it you who stopped her from being like everyone else? ME! all me!” he moved his cane forwards, just so he could start pushing the other backwards. “then.. you and i are going to have some fun together. STARTING RIGHT NOW.”
“ITS ABOUT TIME she’s with someone who isn’t you, someone who doesn’t treat her like a piece of trash. she doesn’t deserve that and I think she’s FINALLY startin’ to see that too.” and good because she didn’t deserve to be ABUSED like she had been, no wonder she wasn’t exactly normal and he was fine with how harley was. it didn’t mean it didn’t make him grit his teeth knowing how BAD it was. “you don’t know the first thing about what ive gone up against and BEATEN. no one does.” harley and perhaps dubios knew the most, of course and waller, she knew EVERYTHING seeing as she was the one who gave him his side missions to begin with. ricks expression remained EMOTIONLESS at jokers laughter because the last thing he found this was funny. people wanted to pick him apart? they’d have to form a queue and wait their fucking turn but this wasn’t really about him. NO, these sick assholes wanted harley and they’d get to her over his dead body. “YOU’RE IN FOR A RUDE AWAKENING!” he swallowed hard when he mentioned the kid, harley didn’t even want rick knowing about her so who the hell thought it was a good idea to tell joker? “NO CAN DO. as long as im around they remain un-fucking-touchable.” it was true, he couldn’t step aside and watch him walk ALL over the people he loved and lucy? she might have been a pain in his ass but he cared about her — she was like her mother so it’s what he expected. when he felt that cane press against his neck he did swallow hard but he did his best not to even acknowledge its presence. “YEAH, it is. you’re so far out of the fucking picture it’s miss quinn to you!” and he’d be wise to damn remember that too, it was about time harley was treated with a little RESPECT. “you want to know the ONE thing I know your sorry ass is still trying to process? SHE DOESN’T NEED YOU! she’s doing just fine on her own.” and no she wasn’t alone but rick knew if he was there that she’d SURVIVE, she would find a way to thrive in whatever damn environment she was in. the cane came forward and rick didn’t want to take even a single step backwards, yet he found himself in a situation where he had too. “I’M READY TO FUCKIN’ GO!” meaning if joker wanted to play then he’d do just that as he brought his hand up in an attempt to push that damn cane away. “looks like we’re all waitin’ on you!”
#rick ; convo#rick ; joker#tw: violence#tw: cursing#tw: abuse mention#tw: murder mention#well this went downhill fast? TWINNY fjfjfjfj
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Rio & Indie
Rio: Are you sitting comfortably? Rio: Because I have POTENTIAL GOOD NEWS FOR ONCE Indie: im cotched baby ✌✌ come thru Indie: whats good? Rio: I found a place Rio: well, Buster did but 'low letting him get all the credit Rio: The lady just rang and said I can go see it at 4 Indie: IS IT??? omf dats so sick Indie: who did mckenna have to mesh like? Indie: bring me w i can leave school rn Rio: Yeah, I know right Rio: Jammy sod but we're well in with a chance as long as it's not like, nothing like the pics Rio: it's a bit outta the 24 but still only a bus ride in so Rio: [Sends said pics] What you think girl?! Indie: hes gon be flexin for days b ready for that 😂😏😂 Indie: bitch we movin up Indie: that place is bare hectic Indie: like a real madness Indie: 😍😍😍😍💖💖👑👑 Rio: 😏 Nothing out the ordinary then Rio: Yeah? I really like it too Rio: I'll swing by, say you've got dentist, whatever Rio: One of the rooms got an en-suite and everything like, no queues for the bathroom what Indie: this got me some type of way Indie: im hyped Indie: they gon let me keep 🐶 w us tho?? Rio: It didn't say nah so we're keeping it quiet but not not bringing him obvs Rio: keep up his training it ain't gonna be an issue, like Indie: BITCH WHAT IS THIS FEELIN Indie: tryna recognise it Indie: buzzin Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: I got a good feeling about it, it's near St Stephen's green like so Bomber can have walks and not have to worry about glass and shit everywhere Indie: bout to happy cry all up in this lesso Indie: n Indie: i can take my younger w too Rio: I love you babe Rio: it's gon' be so much better and Drew ain't got no claims or no key this time Rio: exactly, Ro be way more hyped letting her in these ends Indie: how this real?? it feels jokes Indie: heads are 👀ing me & i aint care Indie: ya girl havin some emotions step off it Rio: That's what I kept saying man Rio: like such an idiot like what, is this real life, nah, not me 😂 Rio: serious, they ain't know we living the good life, gotta go Indie: ITS HOW YOUR MANS BE LIVIN 💸💸💸 Indie: imma lips him Indie: soz bout it Rio: 😂 I'll let you live, you highkey in your emotions Rio: 'bout him though Rio: you're okay if he wanna live there too, when he comes for Uni? Rio: He doesn't have to, not like they don't have a house, not that far away, like Indie: babe you kno i aint tryna borrow your garms big love but like daddy delivers in all them ways and aint none of us vexiin Indie: he gotta respect my 🐶 mans but if they bros then yeah Rio: Yeah? Rio: Good Rio: we can do it on our own regardless but it'll be easier if he twos it Rio: and obvs, I want him there, ew 😜 Indie: imagine if you be like nah mckenna pay dem bills & dont be comin round 😂😂😂 Indie: its chill fr he aint no wasteman i be tryna avoid Indie: he havin his daddy moment Rio: Ain't tryna be that kinda daddy like soz taking away all dem perks Rio: Rude 😂 Rio: He loves you too, babe Indie: ri we all been knew what kinda wifey you gon b 😂😏😏😂 Indie: he comes for my gaming shit he getting merked tho keep that discipline fo yoself in your bed Rio: Hush child 🤐😏 Rio: Double hush, I don't even know if he 'bout that life so you safe Rio: though challenge him at ur own risk I ain't being part of that 🙄 Indie: thats how it gon b i 👀 Indie: i got a serious q but i aint tryna bring the mood ⬇ Rio: Seen not heard, with you? Doubt that 😉 Rio: go for it Indie: drew cant stop me innit Indie: like for real Rio: I don't see how, like Rio: who's he going to to 'fight' for you Rio: where's his case for us not looking after you/him ever doing it Indie: ✌✌✌✌✌ Indie: he probs not even gon show but Indie: he always coming to take me from home wen i was lil u kno Rio: I know baby Rio: but he never could keep you Rio: and lbr you gonna be actual grown soon, he really ain't got a leg to stand on, I promise, even if he comes through chattin' Indie: i love you Indie: more than Rio: I love you too, it's gonna be so legit, promise Rio: all the shit we liked from our old, but better too Indie: true man we did the most but that yard was clapped Indie: it was a time & imma miss it but this b a better one Indie: a fucking extra hype era or some shit Rio: 👑 Rio: that's the vibe Rio: can bring the 24 realness with without the bullshit, yeah Indie: innit tho Indie: lowkey repin for all my years but Indie: bitch im 🔥🔥⬆⬆ Rio: We should celebrate 'fore we go Rio: also you need diff garms 'cos not showing up with you in uniform like I'm your single muvva Rio: giving the game away shh Indie: lets break into our former & give it the send off it shoulda had Indie: ruuuude Indie: you is my ma deal w that Indie: still sexy w it so Rio: nah shadier to let him keep it Rio: welcome for the glo up boy Rio: 💋 i'll take it Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: im only vexed cos he aint had my baby sis there but you kno he bringin them other young girls back how he do Indie: waste Rio: 😬 Rio: too real Rio: too gross Rio: does anyone know if he's tried to talk to ro or they have orrrr Rio: like what's going on fr Indie: she blockin hardcore Indie: she dont want him near but from what i 👀 & 👂 he aint tryna reach anyway Rio: 😒 Rio: even if he did just to say i know u don't want me here but if u do Rio: bare minimum Rio: whatever Rio: their drama, not ours Rio: we gettin' good Indie: fr if he aint tryna see her i is Indie: she got real fam Indie: & me too Indie: we all good Rio: mhmm Rio: him doing his part on him Rio: we all doing ours Rio: she's cute then, yeah? Indie: o you aint seen Indie: my bad Indie: u wanna? Rio: nah not yet, like it weren't explicitly stated but Rio: we know she don't want me near either Indie: i got you Indie: ill bring her to you mama Indie: my girls can meet Rio: Are you sure? Rio: idk if she letting her out of her sight like that yet Indie: its chill man Indie: if step ma be startin i got the other to back me Rio: We'll sort that Saturday yeah Rio: can't be giving her the cribs exclusive or the estate agent will be coming at me with catchment areas fr Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: boo how we celebratin Indie: mckenna aint here thats dry Indie: boy earned his place Rio: I know 😕 Rio: we go out and do it again when he is Rio: we keep it lowkey for now, get some food 'forehand 'cos know you ravenous Rio: then if we fucking with it we can get something extra that we gon' need Indie: truuuuuuu Indie: yeah girl this is beast Indie: im so about it Rio: It's a new block so if we get it we can be in there like, straight away Rio: no one has to move out, it ain't trashed Rio: 😍 Indie: safe Indie: can i roll out the school gates now cos ☁ 9 mood Indie: floating like Rio: I'm omw to pick you but lemme call 'em and you can roll out and meet me somewhere else 'cos I'm still like 15mins away Indie: 😍😍😍😍 Indie: I'll be boardin & 🚬 catch me wen Rio: 👍 Indie: here i be thinkin my day was bare decent cos a lad chirpsin me in the science lab Indie: naaaaaah bitch Rio: Ooh Rio: 'bout it tho Rio: made School worth attending Indie: innit he just rolled up Indie: new boy vibes Rio: 😍 Rio: literally never happened when i was here so rude Rio: known everyone from day 1, blessin' n curse Rio: gimme deets as they come in tho Indie: ikr but its bare long in the year to be criss and showin face 1st time Indie: suspect Rio: wys Rio: he a 30 spy pretending to be a kid orr Indie: idk Indie: but if he a fed he looking fresh on it Rio: 😂 Rio: Mystery, love that Rio: only one way to find out Indie: but like Indie: can i? Rio: Why not? Indie: u kno Rio: Yeah Rio: Take everything at your pace, however that be Rio: this is just chatting we talking about, you good Indie: yeah i can trust innit Indie: bills is right not all lads be like Rio: yeah, if he get it twisted off a convo then he the thirsty cringe one Rio: give it a shot Indie: he so lush lookin tho 😍😍😍 i been knew i said this afore but actual Indie: 👼🏿 Rio: so 'bout that Rio: defs why you wanted to bounce tho Rio: not want me 👀 like the nosy ma I is 😉 Indie: nah dont want him spying you cos you 🔥😍👑 Rio: 😏 gas up your old woman Rio: never gon' say no Indie: you kno its the mood of the century Indie: mckenna beggin for you still Rio: Hope so Rio: need that rent boy Indie: can always shot the 💍 baby Indie: 💎💎💸💸💸💸 Rio: 😭 Rio: Baby no Indie: jam babe i got jokes Indie: we playin Rio: I can't Rio: if he bounce I gonna just wear it forever Rio: awkward for him, soz Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: he too cuffed to run now Rio: Thanks Ann Summer Indie: i aint never been there Indie: soz bout it Indie: sure she a real one Rio: it's a bit retro these days but you know Rio: not missing much babe Indie: 👌👌 Indie: all lube & lace yeah? Rio: 😂 in a word Indie: no catch me rollin up then i aint need none Rio: okay babe Rio: lemme know if you need anything though, I got you Indie: you wild Indie: what you think i need ma? Rio: well idk Rio: not gonna give you ideas you ain't have but s'a whole world beyond ann and her rabbit Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: you always tryna get me riding batteries Rio: i am not 😂 make me sound like such a wrongen Rio: tryna make sure u know what u want Indie: we been knew i dont Indie: going for those wronguns myself Rio: gotta explore babygirl Indie: 😒🤔 Rio: Not now, like Rio: we busy bitches Indie: catch me on the street bein indecent hold up Rio: 😏 behave Rio: got mark on your name as is Indie: what you sayin bout Rio: that police always after you without that madness Indie: keepin things fresh for the jakes and the rollers least Indie: they welcome Rio: miss me with that underage bait gurl 😏 Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: 👵 Rio: 😡 cheeky bitch Indie: 💋 Indie: big love baby Rio: I see u Rio: get in 'fore I give you a love tap, like Indie: keep it peaceful Indie: ✌✌ Rio: 💋
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fez, to lexi: bro you better shut the fuck up before i look at you one day and feel warm and realize i've fallen in love with you bro
fez: dude i’m serious, quit it
#source: stimman4000#fexi#incorrect quotes#euphoria#fez x lexi#incorrect fexi#i was startin’ to miss queue#fezco#euphoria hbo#lexi howard#maude apatow#angus cloud#fez#lexi x fez#fezco x lexi#fezco euphoria#fez euphoria#lexi euphoria#lexco#fexi incorrect quotes
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fez: this year i'm taking part in NO-vember where i will be saying no to everything. go away
#source: twitter#fexi#incorrect quotes#euphoria#fez x lexi#incorrect fexi#i was startin’ to miss queue#fezco#euphoria hbo#lexi howard#maude apatow#angus cloud#fez#lexi x fez#fezco x lexi#fezco euphoria#fez euphoria#lexi euphoria#lexco#fexi incorrect quotes
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fez: *trying to lure a cat out of the shop*
lexi: oh! whose cat is this??
fez: i dunno, i just found him in here. he won’t budge, i think i’ll get him some bacon and try to lure him out
lexi: cats are pescatarians
fez: you tellin’ me this cat believes in God?
lexi: what no-
#source: abbott elementary#fexi#incorrect quotes#euphoria#fez x lexi#incorrect fexi#i was startin’ to miss queue#fezco#euphoria hbo#lexi howard#maude apatow#angus cloud#fez#lexi x fez#fezco x lexi#fezco euphoria#fez euphoria#lexi euphoria#lexco#fexi incorrect quotes
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*at the police station*
fez: i’m here for my brother
desk sergeant: who’s your brother?
fez: you must be new here
#source: tumblr#fexi#incorrect quotes#euphoria#fez x lexi#incorrect fexi#i was startin’ to miss queue#fezco#euphoria hbo#lexi howard#maude apatow#angus cloud#fez#lexi x fez#fezco x lexi#fezco euphoria#fez euphoria#lexi euphoria#lexco#fexi incorrect quotes
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lexi: cassie, would you stop taking pictures of yourself?? your boyfriend’s going to jail
#source: the kardashians#euphoria#incorrect quotes#cassie howard#fexi#mostly i just want nate in jail but yanno#this is the energy i want next season#i was startin’ to miss queue#fez x lexi#incorrect fexi#fezco#euphoria hbo#lexi howard#maude apatow#angus cloud#fez#lexi x fez#fezco x lexi#fezco euphoria#fez euphoria#lexi euphoria#lexco#fexi incorrect quotes
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cassie: when nate was born, the gods said, "he’s too perfect for this world”
lexi: please. when he was born, the devil said, "oh, competition”
#source: tumblr#euphoria#incorrect quote#incorrect euphoria#fexi#i was startin’ to miss queue#fezco o'neill#fezco and lexi#fez and lexi#lexi and fez#lexi and fezco#lexi x fezco#fexi hive#incorrect quotes#fez x lexi#incorrect fexi#fezco#euphoria hbo#lexi howard#maude apatow#angus cloud#lexi x fez#fezco x lexi#fez euphoria#lexi euphoria#lexco#fexi incorrect quotes#cassie howard#nate jacobs
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lexi: i can’t go. stress is bad for the baby
fez, sweating: what baby
lexi: me
#source: twitter#fexi#incorrect quotes#euphoria#fez x lexi#incorrect fexi#i was startin’ to miss queue#fezco#euphoria hbo#lexi howard#maude apatow#angus cloud#fez#lexi x fez#fezco x lexi#fezco euphoria#fez euphoria#lexi euphoria#lexco#fexi incorrect quotes
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lexi: before i do anything, i ask myself “would rue do that?” and if the answer is yes, i do not do that thing
#source: the office#incorrect quote#incorrect euphoria#incorrect euphoria quotes#euphoria memes#fexi meme#fezco o'neill#fezco and lexi#fez and lexi#lexi and fez#lexi and fezco#lexi x fezco#fexi hive#fexi#incorrect quotes#euphoria#fez x lexi#incorrect fexi#i was startin’ to miss queue#fezco#euphoria hbo#lexi howard#maude apatow#angus cloud#lexi x fez#fezco x lexi#fez euphoria#lexi euphoria#lexco#fexi incorrect quotes
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