#i was so nervous i shook when the phone rang i went somewhere on those days to be alone with you

[angelmothergod]

all i am is all i ever was & all i ever was, was yours.

[hockeyboistrash]

two more years | a.s

to celebrate his contract extension, here's another artūrs fic. its a short one sorry about that. im trying to write some longer fics but work is kicking my ass at the moment.

The sun began to set, taking the heat with it. You were curled up to Artūrs's side, a blanket covering the two of you to keep the chill off. It was the summer break and you were spending it with Artūrs. The first stop was Portugal and the two of you were sitting on the rooftop having a little get together with some friends.

This break was much needed after the end of the season the Canucks had, that Artūrs had. From being called up from the AHL to starting in the Stanley Cup playoffs within the span of a month was a lot and now he could finally slow down and take in what he did for the team.

Artūrs was still holding back from fully relaxing though. He didn't want to worry you with his racing thoughts, not wanting to be a burden. He was currently in the middle of contract negotiations. He wanted to stay in Vancouver, he loved the team and he loved you but there was no guarantee he will stay. There was never a guarantee and that small slither of doubt meant he kept his worrying to himself.

Artūrs's phone rang, breaking both of your attention away from the conversation. "Sorry, I've got to take this." He mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to your head before slipping out from under you. You wrapped the blanket tighter around you, missing the warmth from your boyfriend, as you watched him find somewhere quieter to take the call.

You tried to pay attention to the group but your mind kept wandering to Artūrs. You didn't want to intrude on his call but you wanted to be there for him. These past few weeks, you could tell something was bothering him. There were times where Artūrs was quieter than usual, his smile slightly forced. Those times were usually after someone asked him about his plans next year. You wanted him to stay in Vancouver but no matter what happens you would support him.

You gave it another ten minutes before you went looking for Artūrs. The house was quiet apart from the muffled sounds of laughter from outside. You pressed your ear against the door to your shared room, checking if Artūrs was still on the phone. After not hearing anything, you softly knocked on the door, opening it when you heard 'come in'.

Artūrs was sat on the edge of the bed, his phone abandoned beside him. His expression was unreadable. "Hey, i just came to see if you're alright. You've been gone a while." You said, breaking the silence. "I can leave if you want to be alone for a bit." Artūrs shook his head at that suggestion, inviting you to join him on the bed. You sat next to him, his hand immediately finding yours.

"I'm staying." Artūrs said with a huge smile on his face. "Two years."

"Really?" You asked. Artūrs nodded and a smile matching his crept on your face. You wrapped your arms around him, not being able to contain your excitement. "That's amazing news!" You were so happy for him. Artūrs did so well in the playoffs and now he's got more chances to prove he should be a starter goalie for the team.

You pulled back from the embrace and took a good look at him. It was like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, his worries melted away. Artūrs looked at you like you hung the stars and moon. He was going to ask you the question he's been dying to ask and now that he has confirmation he's staying in Vancouver, it was his chance.

"Move in with me." Artūrs blurted out before muttering to himself in Latvian. He wanted to ask you in a more romantic way but he was nervous. Paired that with the excitement of the contract extension, he was a mess.

"Artūrs, slow down." You told him, cupping his cheek so he looked back up at you. "I would love to move in with you." You smiled, softly pressing a kiss on his lips. Artūrs couldn't wait to spend the next two years in Vancouver with you by his side. He couldn't imagine anyone else to do it with.

[domripley]

Giver II

Pairings: Yelena Belova/Reader; Natasha Romanoff/Wanda Maximoff

Warnings/Tags: Light Dom/Sub, Daddy Kink, Semi Public Sex, Begging, Fingering

You had texted Yelena that you had the whole house to yourself, and that if she wanted to come over when she wasn’t so busy. You were surprised when she texted back almost immediately with “Send the address. I’ll be there in ten.” Why you were suddenly nervous, you had no clue, but you hoped it would go away soon.

When the doorbell rang, you jumped up off the couch. You had set up the table for dinner you planned to order out for the two of you. As soon as you opened the door to find her in a black suit, your nervousness went away.

“You look…so good,” you said, hoping that you weren’t being too awkward. You were completely under dressed, with a green shirt on, and white sweatpants. You almost wanted to go get changed into something much better.

“Thank you, (Your Name). You look lovely, green is a great color on you.” she smiled, following your eyes to see what you were looking at. When she figured out what it was, she continued once again. “Oh, I do plan on changing when - if you want to watch a movie. I brought a change of clothes.”

“Good, especially since being in a suit isn’t very comfy, I can imagine.” you laugh as you take her suit jacket from her.

“Going to be honest, they’re nice on the eyes, but I hate wearing them.” she laughed, sitting down at the table. You had noticed she wasn’t wearing dress shoes, instead she had biker boots ones. You had never seen anyone wear the two together, but you didn’t bother to question her fashion sense. You guessed that once you own a club you can dress in any strange combo (hell you’d wear some questionable choices either way).

“I can’t really cook, so I thought I could order something for us?” you offered, but she shook her head.

“No, grab a coat. I’m taking you somewhere, my treat.” she insisted, and you bit your lip. “What do you want to eat?”

“I could go for some french fries, and spaghetti to be honest…” you trailed off, which wasn’t a lie. You had been craving them since getting there.

“I’ll get you some french fries and spaghetti then.”

—

Yelena took you an hour and a half away from Wanda’s house, but you weren’t complaining. Not when Yelena kept a conversation with you, which you really liked. Even as it fell silent, it wasn’t awkward at all.

“You’re pretty too, Yelena.” you smiled as she continued to drive. Biting her lip, she placed a hand on your thigh. “And, I’ve been thinking.” You took a deep breath as the two of you reached the restaurant. Pulling into a parking spot, and turning the car off, Yelena turned to you so she could give you her full attention.

“I would like to try things out with you, but the thing is I just met you yesterday, and if we do this I have a few things.”

“Of course. I respect that.” she said, and you swallowed. The words were forming, but you had figured out how to say what you wanted.

“I’m not really looking for someone to date, as in keeping my time with just one person, if that makes any sense. I would like to spend time with you though.” you admitted.

“And that’s more than okay with me. I don’t really do romance, however, I would love to spoil you in two different ways if you let me,”

“What are those two ways?” you asked, turning your body fully so you were facing her.

“The first way: I would love to spoil you. Buy you things that you want, take you on trips. Hell, even fly you out here one to four times a month if you wanted. The second way, which is optional and you can say no to this and I’ll respect that. If the second part isn’t for you, I still want to spoil you.”

“Normally, I would probably say no, but I like talking to you, and the fact that when we text we actually talk. I want to do both, but maybe just the second way for awhile. If that’s okay?”

“Of course, that’s perfect,” she smiled softly, pulling you into a hug. When her phone went off, she looked a bit annoyed - but as she sent a fast text and put her phone away, she smiled at you.

—

As the two of you ate dinner, you asked about her club. Telling you that she inherited it from her father, she said she enjoys running it herself instead of having help. Aside from Natasha, of course. When it was quiet, it was actually a relaxing type of quiet, and you were thankful for it. Yelena’s phone went off once the waiter took your plates from the table. You could tell she was trying to ignore it.

“You know you can answer it if you want to, it won’t bother me.” you smiled.

“Thank you,” she said, reaching for your hand. As she held it, her free hand reached into her phone. Looking at her phone, her smile turned to a frown. “I’ve gotta go to the bank to get some money for the club, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be! We’re done eating, and I don’t mind going with you!” you assured her, rubbing your thumb over her knuckles.

“You’re too sweet.”

She flagged down the waiter, and handed her the card. “Thank you for understanding, I really appreciate it.” she smiled, getting up as soon as the waiter brought her card back with the receipt.

The ride to the bank was comforting, but as you began to think more of what Yelena had told you. You wanted to do it much more, and you planned on letting her know after she was done with what she needed to do.

You closed your eyes, listening to whatever song was on the radio. You were brought out of your thoughts by Yelena. “We’re here, love.” she said, rubbing your thigh. You let out a whimper loud enough that you knew she heard you. But thankfully, she chose to ignore it. Getting out of the car, she led you into the bank.

After getting the money she needed, the two of you made your way back into the car. Once inside, Yelena asked, “Before we leave to go, I’ve gotta ask: why did you whimper when I touched your thigh?” You figured Yelena was going to let it go, since she didn’t bring it up when you first happened.

“I, um, I was thinking about something when you touched my thigh. I’m sorry,” you admit, turning your head so Yelena couldn’t see your face.

Taking a hold of your chin, she turned your head so you could face her. “What were you thinking about malyshka?” she asked, smirk spreading as you bit your lip.

“Thought about you fucking me in your club…but it’s not empty so we can’t do that.” you whispered as Yelena traced your bottom lip with her thumb.

“Yeah? You want me to fuck you in my club? Knowing anyone could catch us?” she asked, pulling her hand away. You nodded, letting out a breathy “yeah” before turning the car on. Driving to the club, you couldn’t stop tapping your fingers against your thigh. You watched the road, trying to keep your mind off of things until you got to her club.

—

“Go to the back room, baby. I’ll be back there once I get what I have done.” Yelena said, kissing your cheek as the two of you made your way into the front entrance. The place was beginning to fill, and you watched as Yelena made her way near the bar where a man with blonde hair was working at. Instead of going with her, you made your way into the very back. The section was covered with a thick curtain on every side, and you were hoping the two of you weren’t going to get caught. Although, since Yelena owned the club, the two of you wouldn’t be kicked out, you would just die of embarrassment.

What seemed like forever, was only a half an hour as Yelena came through the curtains. “Hey, baby girl. Thank you for being patient with me, it’s much appreciated.” she smiled, sitting down next to you on the couch. She didn’t say anything, just kept her hand on your thigh as if to see if you’d tell her to move her hand. When you didn’t, Yelena began rubbing it as she casually checked her phone.

“Natalia and Wanda are having a great time,” she smiled, texting something to who you assumed was Nat.

“I’m g-glad, Wanda deserves to be happy.” you bit back a moan as she rubbed at your clothed inner thigh.

“What’s wrong, baby?” You both knew the answer, but that didn’t stop her from asking you anyway.

“You know.”

“I do,” she smirked, pulling you into a kiss. “But we start we have to go over rules, and such.”

Pulling her hand away, she smirked at the way your whine left your lips. She leaned back, waiting for you to turn and face her. “I have rules, and questions. I’m also sure you have a few questions at the very least, yes?”

“I do.”

“Want me to go first, or you?”

“You can, ‘Lena.” she smiled at the nickname before turning to completely face you.

“You’ve heard of safewords, correct?” When you nodded, she continued. “I need you to think of one to use, because we will need one. If at any time - whether it’s tonight or a month from now or whenever you need to use it, use it. I won’t be upset, or disappointed in you.”

“Pineapples is my safeword.” you said, biting your lip as you waited for her to continue.

“That was fast, but I’m glad you have one. The next thing is, I like when someone listens, I’m dominant - well, technically a switch, but I’ve only subbed to one person. I like whoever I’m doming to be obedient, however I also love brats. I usually prefer to be called 'Daddy’, but, if you’re not comfortable, that’s fine with me.” she assured you.

“Alright, and would it be okay if I tell you my limits?”

“Of course, I was about to ask that next.”

“I don’t like bodily fluids, needles, or anything involving blood. Everything else I’m willing to try once, but I really enjoy orgasm denial, overstimulation, verbal humiliation, face slapping. Things like that. I do also really enjoy anal.”

“Those are things I don’t like either, so I’m glad we have that in common! Also, the stuff you just listed off are some of my favorite things. Is there anything you’d like to try out? You don’t have to answer this one right at this very moment, we won’t be doing too much tonight.”

You nodded in understanding, jumping into her lap as you saw shoes on the other side of the curtain. “Yelena, we’re gonna get caught!” you whispered, earning a chuckle from the blonde.

“Not if we stay quiet, baby. Do you think you can do that? Or do you need Daddy’s help?” she smirked, pulling you into a kiss. Moaning against her lips as her hand went into your sweats.

“Please…” you whimpered, hoping that she would give in easy to your pleading.

Moving her hand from your clothed pussy to your thigh, she asked, “What would you like, hm? You want me to remove my hand from your sweats? I can-”

“No, Daddy. Want you to take them off, please,” you cut her off, thankful that she let it go. Pulling down the sweats, along with your underwear, Yelena was quick to bring her hand back between your thighs. She didn’t want to waste anymore time. “Spread your legs, wanna see that pussy.”

You did as you were told, opening your legs slowly as her eyes were glued on your center. “You have such a pretty pussy, baby. I can’t wait to taste you. But, that will be somewhere much nicer than this.”

Yelena’s two fingers ran through your slick folds teasingly as her phone went off. You bit your lip, nodding to let her know it was okay to answer it. “Oh, hey Natalia. I’m at the club right now, doing what I need to before your shift starts. Yes, (Your Name) is with me. She’s having a great time. Wanda wants to talk to her? Yeah, that’s more than okay. Here you go.” she handed you the phone, and your eyes went wide. Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to focus on Wanda’s voice.

As Wanda talked to you about something you couldn’t exactly focus on, Yelena slipped her middle finger all the way to the knuckle into your pussy. You bit your lip to suppress a moan, saying your goodbyes to Wanda, you tossed her phone on the couch next to both of you.

“You were so quiet, baby, Why’re you so quiet?” she teased, pulling her finger out just to add another. Fucking her fingers in and out at a fast pace as she attempted to pull your shirt completely off. Realizing that it wasn’t going to work, she pulled her fingers out before grabbing your shirt with both her hands before pulling it off of you.

“D-don’t want to get caught!” you gasped as she pulled your bra down, wrapping her lips around your right nipple. Pushing two of her fingers back into your core, she fucked you at a rough pace.

“You’re going to be a good girl and be quiet for me? You’re gonna make me so proud, detka.” she praised, you couldn’t keep quiet any longer.

As Yelena slowed her fingers down to add a third, you let out a whine, “Please don’t stop, Daddy.” you wanted more, but she slowed down her movements.

“Beg me to keep going pretty girl, beg Daddy to keep giving what you what your pretty cunt wants.” she moaned, and you knew she was going to make you work for what you wanted.

“Please, Yel-Daddy! Please fuck me, it’s your pussy, want you to make me come, make me come all over your fingers like a good girl. Please, please!” you begged, gripping onto her wrist in hopes that she’d keep going.

“Yeah? You want me to make my pussy come? You’re such a good girl, how can I deny you anything?” she hummed, moving your hand off hers. You kept eye contact with her as best as you could, giving her the best pouting face you could make.

Adding a third finger, Yelena fucked you at pace that gave you what you needed. Leaning in closer so she could fuck you faster, Yelena wrapped her other around you to keep you in place. “You’re making a mess on the couch, baby girl. It’s okay, though. Really. I love that you’re making a mess.” You cried out as she curled her fingers, bringing you closer to the edge.

“I can feel you squeezing my fingers, baby. Are you close? You can come when you’re ready, sweet girl.” she moaned, pushing your face towards you for a kiss. You pulled away, coming with a muffled moan as you bit at her clothed shoulder. She fucked you through your high, only stopping when you pulled her fingers out by her wrist.

Yelena took her fingers into her mouth, humming at the taste of you. “Taste so good, (Your Name).” she smirked, pulling you into a hug. “You did so good, baby. So proud of you, you wanna cuddle?”

You nodded as the two of you laid down on the couch, thankful that it was comfortable. When you woke up, you found Yelena sitting up on the couch looking through her phone as your head rested on her thigh. “Good morning,” she teased, and you jumped up.

“Did I actually sleep for that long?” you yawned, and Yelena shook her head.

“No, just an hour and a half. Get your clothes on and we can go back to Wanda’s place.”

[babyboibucky]

The Match - Part 9

Pairing: CEO!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky brings you and Mackenzie with him to an important meeting.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Uhhhh hmm work tension, sexual tension, idk Bucky and Mackenzie being annoying as usual lmao

A/N: ALSO I know I haven’t mentioned what the fuck Bucky’s company is all about because c’mon, I didn’t expect I’d get this far lmao so IDK there might be continuity issues or inaccuracies or whatevah, just ignore it lmao it’s fiction. ANYWAAAY, I just want to say how GRATEFUL AND OVERWHELMED I am with the amount of attention that this series is getting. I appreciate every feedback, every ask and every freaking debate about this shit lmfao. I love you guys. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate you all askcnasjkcnak bye

The Match Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

Don't let Bucky or Mackenzie get to you.

Mark's advice rang in your ears like a chant as you watched Bucky and Mackenzie's exchange about the project. Joining them in the conference room for a major brainstorming session was you and a couple of people from your team with Beverly taking down the minutes of the meeting.

The upcoming project was a huge one, given that Barnes Group of Companies was a huge name in the automobile industry. Meanwhile, Wilson Enterprises is one of the biggest autonomous vehicle technology companies out there. This partnership was one for the books, possibly an industry changer too.

You wanted to be a part of it, wanted to spearhead the entire thing and watching Mackenzie take the reigns on this one was truly making your blood boil.

"That sounds like a nice idea, Kenzie." Bucky praised, nodding his head.

Mackenzie shrugged, "It's what I do, Buck." she said.

"Yeah, it's a great idea. I do have some comments though, if you don't mind?" you asked.

Bucky and Mackenzie exchanged glances before turning to you. You glanced at Bucky for a quick second before ignoring the way he was eyeing you with genuine interest.

"I know that bringing in a celebrity to endorse this brand new model would definitely create noise around the partnership. Although I think that would take the spotlight away from the actual product we're creating here. We want customers to focus on the brand new car model and the technology that Wilson Enterprises will be providing it with, not on the celebrity endorser." you explained.

Mackenzie hummed, "I get where you are coming from. That's a good point, actually. But a celebrity endorser will pretty much do everything for the brand. Have him up on billboards and different advertisements and you're all set." she further explained.

You chuckled, "But then how will people understand what the entire partnership is all about? Aren't we supposed to be communicating a certain message to our consumers? Wouldn't it be better to hold an event to launch the product instead? Invite the press and key opinion leaders to spread the word. Have Bucky and Mister Wilson talk about this partnership. They're famous and powerful enough to get the message across. Why waste the budget on a celebrity when we literally have everything we need to make noise?" you shrugged.

The entire room was silent after your feedback, even Mackenzie wasn't able to respond to your suggestion. Glancing over at Bucky, you saw that he was giving you the look-- the one with half-lidded eyes matched with a head tilt, the one that often resulted to him giving you a very nice reward once office hours are over.

Feeling your breath hitch in your throat, you quickly looked away and shrugged your shoulders, "I mean, that's just my two cents. Having worked here for years, I just based it on my experience. You're the expert here, Mackenzie." you offered a proud smile.

Mackenzie tried to brush it off and turned to Bucky, "What do you think, Buck? I'm still into the idea of hiring a celebrity. That's good publicity. And let's not get worried about the budget now," she said, placing a hand on top of Bucky's that was resting on the table, "I have a lot of connections so I can definitely get an endorser for a much lower rate." she reassured.

"We may have a huge budget for this, but that doesn't automatically mean that we have to use it all up. We can allocate it somewhere else, maybe start a CSR campaign as well? We are, after all, coming out with an environmental-friendly model." you suggested.

You heard Bucky when he took a sharp inhale, bringing his hands up to rub his lips as if in deep thought. He then turned to Beverly, however, his eyes remained on you.

"Take note of everything she says." he reminded her before standing up.

He asked everyone else in the room of their opinions, whether it was your or Mackenzie's idea that the company will go for. The team was divided in half, some of them preferring Mackenzie's celebrity pitch probably because they didn't want to do a lot of work.

Bucky nodded, "Well, I guess we'll have to discuss both ideas with my partner Sam and let's see where we will go from there. I have a meeting with him this afternoon, I need you and Kenzie with me there." he said, looking at your before turning to Kenzie with a charming smile.

Don't let them get to you.

-

You've never wanted for the ground to swallow you up until this moment as you stood behind Bucky and Mackenzie in the elevator. This felt so much more uncomfortable than when you shared it with Bucky after swiping right with him on Tinder. There was still tension and it felt so much worse now because you didn't know whether it was between you and Bucky or him and Mackenzie.

Fucking Mackenzie and her nicely manicured nails which always seemed find its way around Bucky's arm. You eyed her hands as they squeezed his arm, the both of them talking in hushed voices as if you weren't standing behind them.

"I've been dying to try this restaurant, I heard they serve good food. Do you want to go have dinner there sometime this week?" she asked Bucky.

"I'll check my schedule, which restaurant is this?" he asked.

When Mackenzie uttered the name of that restaurant where you celebrated your promotion, you and Bucky choked on your own spits at the same time. Warmth crept up to your cheeks at the same time Bucky's ears reddened.

"Oh, what's going on?" Mackenzie asked with a nervous chuckle as she looked at you and Bucky, struggling with your coughs.

You recovered first and shook your head, "Sorry, I get allergies. Anyway, I've been to that restaurant. They do serve good food, the staff was very hospitable as well. I'm sure Bucky would enjoy it there." you said with a smile, pushing your way past them when the elevators door slid open.

Mackenzie asking Bucky whether he was up for dinner was the last thing you heard. Good luck explaining to her why he's banned from there, you thought to yourself.

Bucky led the way to his car and it instantly brought certain memories back. You weren't going to lie, you missed the fucking and how Bucky always made sure to take care of your needs. Seeing his car was enough to make your thighs clench at the memory of him fingering you as he drove.

His gaze was on you when he opened the door to the passenger's seat, his eyes inviting as you approached him. And just as when you were about to slip in, he turned over to Mackenzie and gestured for her to get in.

What a fucking asshole, you thought to yourself as you took a step back to ride in the back instead. You tried to keep your expression stoic when you saw that Bucky checked for a reaction. He seemed perplexed when he saw that you didn't react that much to what he did.

One hundred points to Gryffindor.

-

The location for the meeting was at a nearby restaurant so you didn't suffer that much during the entire ride. Mackenzie was busy with her phone anyway, typing out messages with those manicured fingers you were beginning to hate.

By the time all three of you arrived, Sam was already there. He donned a navy blue suit and he was rocking it. You'd seen his photos on the internet and knew that he was good-looking, but seeing him in the flesh, you were stunned at how gorgeous he was. Sam stood up when he saw Bucky, offering a kind smile to you and Mackenzie.

You weren't sure whether you were just being assuming or what, but you noticed how his eyes lingered on you longer that it did with Mackenzie.

"Sam." Bucky greeted, shaking his hand before introducing you and Mackenzie.

Sam shook Mackenzie's hand first before he turned to you. You took his hand and introduced yourself, "Mister Wilson." you said.

"Please, just Sam." he told you as he gently squeezed your hand before letting go.

"Have a seat." Sam said to Bucky and Mackenzie before pulling out the chair next to him, motioning for you to sit down.

You thanked him and sat down; straightening up, you were met with Bucky's watchful gaze as he sat down across you. Your attention was taken away when Sam asked what you wanted to order, he even suggested a certain dish and immediately went to discuss that it was his favorite thing to order.

This was going to be an interesting meeting.

And interesting it truly was, because you didn't expect for Sam to be so laid-back and easy to communicate with. He wasn't one of those uptight CEOs who were very intimidating to work with. Simply put, he was the complete opposite of Bucky. While Bucky was ice cold, Sam was sunshine and warmth with his attitude.

When it came down to pitching your and Mackenzie's ideas to him, you suddenly got nervous. Sam wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth; from what you've read, he started off working regular jobs before he climbed his way to the top. He was a self-made man and he had extensive knowledge in the marketing industry, having a doctorate degree in the said area.

Mackenzie was the first to discuss her strategy about hiring a celebrity endorser. She said it was fast and straight to the point. When it was your turn, you started off a bit shaky but eventually found your pacing.

"We wanted to ask you how this should go on about. I know that the offer for a partnership came from our end and that we're supposed to pitch the details for it. But we wanted you to be involved in this as much as we are." Bucky further explained.

Sam nodded and let out an amused chuckle, "I really appreciate this, Buck. I was going to ask you if I can contribute with the planning as well. I'm very particular when it comes to marketing our products." he said.

"That being said, I loved both ideas. I think hiring a celebrity endorser is good." he said, making Mackenzie smile proudly.

"But I would rather hold an event to launch the product. You understand the product and what we want to do with it. It's not just a brand new car, it's an innovation and the messaging is very important. I'm very impressed." Sam said, his attention geared towards you.

"Wow, I'm honored." you laughed. "Coming from you, I mean I've read about the marketing studies you did. Pretty big deal to receive a compliment from you." you admitted.

It was meant to be a genuine reaction, really. You had no ill intentions for it, you didn't do it to make Bucky jealous or get the upper hand. However, your passion for your career and area of expertise seemed to favor you. It had Bucky on edge, seeing you and Sam get along so well.

You didn't even need to check for Bucky's reaction because he simply cleared his throat and excused himself to go to the restroom. Mackenzie seemed unbothered though, when Sam favored your pitch over hers. You couldn't read her, sometimes she'd come off competitive but right now, she was unaffected.

When Bucky got back, he was quick to finalize the meeting, "I guess it's a done deal then. We'll work on the details of the launch and maybe we can set another meeting for the major presentation for your approval?" he asked Sam.

"That sounds like a plan. I'm looking forward to working with you." Sam told everyone, although he did seem to be directly addressing you.

"Alright, I'm leaving too." Mackenzie announced after Sam left the restaurant.

"Oh, you're not heading back to the office with us?" Bucky asked.

Mackenzie shook her head, throwing her bag over her shoulder, "I have another meeting. You know how it is with freelance work." she said as all three of you stood up to head outside of the restaurant.

"My Uber's here, I guess I'll see you both sometime this week." she said and waved at you before turning to Bucky and pressing a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm counting on that dinner, okay?" she reminded before slipping into her Uber, leaving you and Bucky to head back to the office together.

Alone with Bucky. In his car. The exact same car where plenty of fucking happened. Again, you chanted Mark’s advice in your head over and over again.

Don’t let Bucky get to you. And most of all, don’t cave in.

You quickly slipped inside the front seat of Bucky’s car before he could even open it up for you. The air was thick between you and Bucky and it almost felt like it was suffocating you. Reaching for the seatbelt, you tugged at it but it wouldn’t budge. Cursing to yourself, you tried again but to no avail.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked.

“Nothing. Seatbelt’s just stuck.” you grunted, using both your hands to pull down at it.

“Here, let me.”

Suddenly, Bucky reached over to your seatbelt and tried to fix it. His face was inches away from yours and you literally felt your insides jump at how you were immediately drowned in his perfume. If you moved forward so much as half an inch, your lips would already be pressing against the corner of Bucky’s mouth. And that thought was sending your senses into overdrive.

Do not. Cave. In.

The loud click of the seatbelt made you relax and thank goodness that Bucky was quick to move away from you, fixing his suit before starting the engine. The office may just be nearby but the fact that you and Bucky were together was making it feel like it was going to be an hour-long drive.

“So what do you think about Sam?” Bucky asked out of the blue.

He was gauging you, trying to get a reaction from you. Maybe he was expecting you to be flirty with your response, or be defensive even? You weren’t going to give him that.

“I think he’s great. Like I said, I’ve read his marketing studies and they were very insightful. I learned a lot.”

Plain, simple and safe. There was no hidden meanings and no malice; you were doing great at this whole not letting Bucky get to you thing. You made a mental note to thank Mark for his advice.

“He seems interested in you.” Bucky said again, shrugging his shoulders a bit and trying to be as nonchalant as he could.

“Well we are in the same field of expertise and I was very straightforward about admiring his skills. I’d be disappointed if he brushed off my ideas.” you slightly chuckled.

“I liked Mackenzie’s idea better, honestly.” Bucky blurted out.

By this time, you had Bucky’s plans figured out. He was coming for your job, using it as a bait to get a reaction out from you. He knew how much your career meant for you, how competitive you were in your field. Whenever his other tactics wouldn’t work, he’d always go for the career aspect.

“It was good.” you agreed, turning to Bucky with a small smile. “I think we can do that for other campaigns. Just not with this partnership. I like her.” you said.

“You do?” Bucky asked in surprise before he cleared his throat upon realizing that he sort of broke his facade.

You shrugged, “She’s a headstrong woman. She reminds me of myself actually.”

If you were alone, you would have given yourself a high-five because that statement truly made Bucky think. His forehead creased as he drove, his hand rubbing his chin and his jaw clenching as if he was in deep thought.

It was silent inside the car for a brief moment, before it was interrupted by the trilling of Bucky’s phone. He fished it out of his pocket but before he could even answer it, it slipped out of his hand and disappeared beneath his seat.

“Fuck.” Bucky cursed, both his hands on the steering wheel as he continued to drive, his attention divided between driving and searching for his ringing phone.

“Shit.” he hissed again, not knowing how to get his phone while driving. He quickly glanced at you before focusing on the road again. “Baby, can you get it for me?”

You almost missed the term of endearment. Almost. It was obviously a slip of the tongue because he genuinely didn’t seem to realize that he called you that. Bucky was more focused on the road rather than processing what he just said. You chose to ignore it the same way you did to the butterflies that erupted in your stomach.

“Yeah, okay.” you said and reached over to him, bending down to look for his phone.

In a split second, your face was right in front of Bucky’s crotch as you tried to reach beneath his car seat. You tried to ignore the bulge that was staring right at you and let your hand do the searching.

“Can you reach it?” Bucky asked.

You straightened up, “No. Can you pull aside?” you asked.

Bucky checked the surroundings and then the rearview mirror, “We can’t. We’re at a no loading and unloading zone.” he explained.

The phone continues to trill and it doesn’t seem like it would stop any time now. You sighed and removed your seatbelt before stretching your body over Bucky, slipping underneath his arms on the steering wheel so you can fully reach under his seat.

From another car’s view, you looked like you were giving him a blowjob. Not that you haven’t done that before, in this same car.

Finally, you felt his phone at the tip of your fingers and stretched further, your free hand coming to grip Bucky’s thigh unintentionally. It was only when you felt his muscles flex beneath his trousers that you realized how near your hand was to his crotch.

“Did you,” Bucky cleared his throat. “Did you get it?” he stammered.

You still have a certain effect on him, how very nice. Biting back a smirk, you hummed in response before pulling back and then handing him his phone casually. Mackenzie’s name was flashing on the screen as the phone continued to ring.

“Sorry, can you answer it and put it on speakerphone?” Bucky asked again.

You shrugged and did as you were told, holding the phone near Bucky as he continued to drive.

“Hey, Kenzie. Sorry, I dropped my phone. What’s up?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, so my meeting got cancelled at the last minute. I was thinking maybe we can grab that dinner tonight instead?”

Bucky stole a quick glance from you but your face remained stoic, your hand steady as you held out his phone.

“Sure, how does around 7pm sound? I can pick you up.” Bucky offered.

“Sounds great. So are we checking that restaurant I was talking about?”

Bucky’s ears turned red again but he quickly recovered, “I was thinking of trying out a different one. I honestly didn’t like their dessert.”

Huh, that was weird. You and Bucky didn’t even make it to--

Fuck, he was talking about you, you realized. Clenching your jaw, you tried to keep calm. He was trying to get a rise out of you, don’t give in. Don’t react. Bucky’s conversation with Mackenzie didn’t last long and ended when they settled the location for their dinner.

The ride back to the office was quiet again, until your phone lit up from a notification. Bucky was already parking in the basement when you checked your phone, an audible gasp slipping past your lips upon reading the notification from LinkedIn.

Samuel Wilson wants to connect with you.

-

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[thebiggestfan1]

Are you in town? - Matthew Tkachuk (part 1)

part two here

part three here

word count: 1860 words

TW: language, angst (?)

let me know if you want part two, I’m somehow still not sure

...

It was so hot that day. The movers were already gone, the place feeling empty without all the furniture. In a few hours, you'd be long gone, flying far away from Chesterfield.

Some small part of you felt sorry for selling your parents' house - the house you spent your whole childhood living in. But they moved out a few years ago and told you many times they didn't mind at all selling it.

Wiping the sweat off of your eyebrows you made your way through the blooming garden, trying to memorize every little detail. You remembered climbing this tree, you remembered the hole in the fence you made so the neighbour's dog could come play with you, you remembered the time capsule you and Matt buried here when you were fifteen.

Until now, you completely forgot about that. Even though you two didn't talk after he got drafted, it'd be a good idea to meet again since you might never see him again. You might be moving to Calgary but that city was so big it'd be a miracle to meet Matthew somewhere.

So you scrolled through your phone, praying he didn't change his number after all those years as you dialed it.

The phone rang twice before someone picked it up.

"Yes?"

Matthew's voice was so different since the last time you talked.

"Hey Matt, this is Y/N, I'm moving out today and I thought we could dig up the time capsule we buried at my place as kids before I leave. Are you in town?" It was off-season so you might get lucky.

"You are moving out already? But yeah, I can meet you in an hour if you have the time."

"Yes, I'll still be here, don't worry."

"Okay..." There was a moment of awkward silence, neither of you knew how to break it. Was it a bad idea? Of course you wouldn't be as good friends as you once were. But you didn't know it would be this... weird. He didn't say goodbye back when he left to Calgary and didn't answer to any of your calls or messages. What were you thinking? That he wanted to see you?

"So, where are you moving to?" Matt finally continued, making the conversation more bareable.

"Calgary, they offered me an amazing job there."

"Really? I've been there for a few years."

"I heard." Not from you, was what you didn't say. It seemed like he'd heard it nonetheless.

Silence. You hated how distant you've grown - once, a long time ago, you were best friends. You went together to kindergarden and since then you've been the best of best friends. But even after all you went through, you didn't know what to say.

"Nevermind, I have to get going. I'll be at your place at three, okay?"

"Okay. I'll meet you there."

As you hung up, sadness enveloped you. Maybe you shouldn't have called. Maybe it'd be better to never meet Matt again, to remember only the good old times.

But he might be already on his way and you wanted to say a proper goodbye before going far, far away.

You loved him once, you recalled. It broke your heart when he left without looking back.

It irritated you that you couldn't do the same as easily.

...

"Y/N?" a now familiar voice called, the sound of closing car doors echoing through the silent street.

Matt looked same as he did four years ago and still totally different. It was like staring at a stranger you could swear you've already seen before. The curly, those pretty grey-blue eyes and the crooked smile you remembered and thought about too often. He got taller and more mascular over the time he played hockey professionally.

"Hey," you said nervously, tucking your slightly trembling hands into the pockets of your shorts.

Again, that uncomfortable silence took place.

"How long is it?" Since you've last seen each other. Since he'd ignored your calls and messages. Since he'd left you crying as he left this town - as he left you.

"Five years," you said.

Regret flashed in those pretty eyes as he took you in. Did you look to him the same as you did the last time he saw you?

"I'm sorry I didn't call." That was it? After five fucking years of silence, this was his apology for everything. This was a mistake. You didn't think it through when you called him today. Just now you started remembering all the things he's done to you.

"That doesn't make it hurt less, does it?" You whipped around, going to the line of fruit trees where you left the two shovels you borrowed from the neighbour.

Matt's hand slightly gripped your elbow, stopping you in your tracks.

"I know that I made a bunch of wrong decisions before I left."

"I've been trying for 6 months to reach you before giving up completely. And you? You've been living the best version of your life anyone could ever imagine."

"That's not true and you know it." Matthew said and you wanted to leave right then, forget this stupid meeting.

"I do not." you hissed, trying to calm down your rising temper.

Matt sighed, not wanting to argue over this. So he made his way to the tree line, picked one shovel from the ground and started digging where he remembered the time capsule was.

You didn't help him dig it up. You were too lost in memories, clinging to the past as you thought of younger version of Matt.

The clang of metal on metal attracted your attention back to him. He grunted as he pulled up the metal box and laid it on the grass.

You ducked low next to him, dusting off the dirt of the box. It was an old, weirdly dented thing.  Your eyes laid on the lock and you nearly sighed in annoyance just when Matt grabbed at his necklace, the key dangling from it. When you two buried the capsule, each of you got a key made for it. You had yours somewhere in the boxes that had already been shipped to your new apartment and Matt's... he didn't forget. He kept it through the years, guarding it and not losing it as you expected.

You didn't say anything, just patiently waited for him to open the box.

There was a letter inside, along with a bunch of things you thought of as long forgotten. Your bracelets of friendship, the colors faded already; a puck with which you and Matthew played your first hockey game together when you were six; so many polaroid photos with your faces on them; USB with a playlist you two always danced to.

Your eyes watered - how were you supposed to say goodbye to all of this?

Silently, you looked over all of the photos - you and Matt in the rink with small hockey sticks and skates, you and Matt sticking out your tongues colored blue with slushies, you and Matt, you and Matt, you and Matt...

Then Matthew's hand found yours, your fingers automatically intertwining with his. You started crying, first silently but then the sobs shook with your whole body.

"Come here," he murmured, hugging you. His body was so soft and warm, as if begging you to lean into his touch.

"How- how could you leave this all behind?" you mumbled between the sobs.

"It's not leaving if you don't say goodbye." Matt said, his fingers playing with yours.

"Then you are a fucking coward, Matthew."

Silence. He didn't argue with you on that, so you must have been right.

You stopped crying after a while, checking your watch while wiping your nose.

Shit. It was so late already - you had to call an uber to get you to the airport in the next hour or you'd be super late.

"I'll have to go," you said quietly, but Matt interrupted you.

"You are right," he tucked on the edge of his shirt, clearly nervous. He was nervous. "I was a coward. I thought that if I didn't say goodbye to you as I left, it'd hurt less. I was wrong and I was a fucking coward for not picking up your calls or replying to your messages because it would make it so real - that I was leaving and probably never coming back. But I want to make it all right again, I want to be a part of your life - if you will let me."

You thought about his offer and still, you couldn't answer. You weren't sure about letting him into your heart just for him to storm out again without a goodbye, leaving you behind, broken.

"Can I at least take you to the airport?" To that, you nodded, picking up the time capsule, putting all the items back in. Then you gave back the lent shovels to your neighbour and with a last glance at your house, you got into Matt's car.

...

On the way to the airport Matt played the playlist from the USB that was in the time capsule and the nostalgy hit you hard.

You remembered the lyrics, the melody; you remembered everything.

The drive was too short and you started panicking as the engine stopped.

Matthew helped you with your suitcase and went inside with you. The two of you stopped at the first gate.

"Here," he said, giving you a piece of paper. "It's my adress. Hopefully, you won't live so far away, so we could meet there if you wanted to."

You tucked it in your pocket without a word.

"Also, take this. I wrote it in ninth grade so don't think much of it. But I want you to read it, Y/N."

It was the letter from the time capsule, with your name on the blank envelope.

"I will." you promised.

The silence that followed wasn't awkward this time.

"I'll let you know my decision about what you said earlier. I just... I need some time."

Matt noded, giving you the space you so desperately needed.

"So, until we meet again - goodbye, Y/N."

"Goodbye, Matt."

...

The plane took off and you finally had the time to read the letter he gave you.

You immediately recognised his scrambled handwriting and you smiled at how messy it was before you started reading.

Dear Y/N,

I'm writing this in case I leave. Dad has been telling me for some time already that if I'll get drafted, I'll have to leave. He also said that if I'll be smart, I will never look back at my past.

I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future.

He said I'll meet a lot of girls but I know that none of them is going to be like you.

So, I promise you, I will never say goodbye to you.

I love you,

Matt

With trembling fingers, you pulled out your phone, the tears already staining the screen.

That's why he never said goodbye. Because of this stupid letter and his stupid promise.

The phone rang once before he picked it up.

"Y/N? What is it?"

A ragged breath escaped you and you laughed and cried at the same time.

"I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future."

"Oh, that was cheesy, wasn't it-"

"No, you dumbass. That's my answer."

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 8

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: fluff, mentions of violence Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier. 

(a/n: i promise i have other writings in the work outside this fic kdsfjlajdf i maybe have part 2 of ‘Around Your Neck’ coming up............)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

You spent the rest of your night trying to redial Bucky’s number. Every single time you just got his voicemail, eventually filling it to the max with pleas for him to call you back. You apologized countless times through texts, begging him to not feel bad and to let you two sit down and discuss it.

But he had really gone radio silence. 

The only real beacon of hope for you was that you could still feel him. You still felt that attachment, the connection of soulmates. He hadn’t totally pushed you out, at least. That was all you could see as far as positives. 

As you went to bed that night, the darkness of the situation was still encompassing you. Even the world seemed to be upset with it as the second you laid your head down, it began storming. 

You fell asleep to sounds of rain hitting the windows and thunder booming across the city. The nightmares engulfed you once more with no signs of your Bucky making appearances this time. Instead, the feelings of dread ran through your body. Bone, skin, blood, and all. It was like an old friend coming to visit. 

The images were nearly the same as well as the asset was back using his knives and terrorizing unsuspecting victims. You couldn’t fight but why would you? You felt lost and defeated as you were engrossed in the metaphorical trenches of the life and missions of the Winter Soldier.

***

You had only been asleep for a few hours when your phone started ringing. Slightly thankful the sound pulled you awake before you had to see another man slaughtered, you jumped up from your bed, diving for the phone. 

The screen shone brightly in the dark of night. It was him. You nearly cried out as you hit ‘accept.’

“Bucky?”

“Can you let me in?” His voice was slowly getting drowned out by the rain. You frowned, confused.

Heading to your front door, you popped your head out, looking down the stairs at the building’s entrance. Bucky was staring at the ground outside. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you to let me in.” He finally looked up, meeting your eyes through the glassdoor. It was not exactly a pretty sight. He looked tormented standing there damp from the rain. You couldn’t speak, just nodded and hung up. Without much care for your current state, draped in an oversized t-shirt and sleeping shorts, you ran down the stairs. 

Once you unlocked the door, Bucky entered the lobby without so much of a glance at you. Wordlessly, you walked back up the stairs to your apartment, letting Bucky follow.

You introduced him to your apartment, showing him the couch where he could take a seat. This certainly was not how you expected his first time in your home would be but you didn’t have much time to mourn it. 

You opted to stay standing, watching as Bucky shifted uncomfortably. He wouldn't look at you yet but you could feel the anger radiating from him. You didn’t know what to do now.

“D-Do y-you want any water or something?” 

Bucky shook his head. “I’m sorry I hung up on you.”

Sighing, you said, “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I know, I know,” He insisted, sounding so defeated. He leaned back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling, contemplating. “It’s just… After yesterday morning, I thought I understood what you…you had seen but I didn’t want to accept it, okay? I didn’t want to think it was true. I wanted to believe that my fucking soulmate was learning the better things about me. Actual things about me, not...not that goddamn monster they created.”

A familiar ache came over you hearing his words. This must’ve been really a lot for him if he finally said the word. You didn’t even have time to celebrate it.

You couldn’t help yourself as you crossed the living room and took a seat next to him on the couch like something was actually pulling you to him. He was still staring at the ceiling while you turned towards him, fingers uncontrollably fiddling in nervousness. 

“I didn’t want to tell you,” you admitted. “At first they were everything in my life, inescapable. The nightmares-,”

Bucky cut you off with a scoff. “Nightmares.”

You frowned. “I’m sorry, I know that’s unfair to you for me to describe them like that but they weren’t exactly pleasant,” you said. “The nightmares were everywhere and...and the feelings, the images… Even just tonight they-,”

His head whipped towards you. “You still have them?”

“Bucky, you need to let me speak.” He nodded and you tried to collect yourself before continuing, “Everything, from the emotions to the images of those terrifying things, hit me hard, and while, yes, it’s scary and it’s been scary for a very, very long time… I don’t think it should completely matter. I can’t change them - you certainly can’t change them - and they definitely do not represent the man sitting next to me in any way, shape, or form.”

Bucky's hard expression got softer at your reassurance. You had told him this yesterday morning but you felt now you were actually getting somewhere. You were getting your thoughts out there and maybe, just maybe, he’d accept them as facts.

His tone was rough but his words were soft as he began to speak again. “I told you that while you’re with me you won’t ever be hurt or have to worry.” You nodded, remembering the promise in passing. “So it kills me that I can’t fix this. I-I didn’t know about all that, really, and it’s hard realizing you’ve had to deal with consequences from my actions. You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve anything like this.”

You tried to muster up a small smile, trying to assure Bucky you were okay. He didn’t look convinced, though. 

“It’s not ideal, no,” you shrugged, “but it’s leading me to you, so, maybe there’s something in it. I think Fate knows what it’s doing, at least most of the time.”

A little smile just barely formed on Bucky’s lips. It wasn’t much but at least he didn’t look like he was ready to punch a wall in your already run-down apartment. 

“Besides, it’s not all bad,” you continued, wanting to at least bring something positive to this conservation. Bucky raised his brows, curiously. “I did have a nice dream that night after dinner. I saw you reading.”

He looked almost relieved. “I guess all we can do is hope those continue.” A beat. “I’m amazed you even allowed me in your apartment.” 

Your jaw went slack, unsure of where this statement was coming from. “Well of course I do. Why wouldn’t I want that?”

Bucky turned away and that rough look of his came back. Your attempts to lighten everything were taking a nosedive apparently, but you couldn’t ask him to avoid or suppress his feelings. You guessed it was better to get these things out in the open.

Bucky eventually asked, “How can you just be okay with everything?” 

This time, you looked away, turning to look out the window opposite of you two. The rain was still coming down steadily. “You haven’t really given me a reason to not be okay with everything.”

Your words were bold, the conversation was bold, and to keep with the theme, you boldly grabbed his hand to hold. You ran your thumb over the back of it in circular motions, trying to calm him. He didn’t pull away, thankfully. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I-I get nervous about all this.”

You chuckled softly, “Me too.”

Bucky hummed, contently. He leaned in a bit closer to you and gave your hand a squeeze. You shifted into his side, wrapping your other hand around his arm, accepting the closeness of you two. 

You decided to break the comfortable silence, trying your magic once again to carry a brighter conversation. “Why didn’t you tell Steve about us?”

Unexpectedly, Bucky chuckled lowly at the question. Your interest peaked greatly. 

“Forgive me if I just want to explore all this new territory with you and only you.” 

“New territory?”

You didn’t have to look at him to know he was rolling his eyes. “You just want me to say it again.”

You let out a fake, dramatic gasp. “James, you’re ridiculous.”

You heard him chuckle. His body shifted slightly closer to you. “I want to explore this… this soulmate thing with you. Only you. At least for now. Down the line, I have no problem showing you off but for now… It’s us.”

Soulmate. Us. 

The words rang happily in your ears. Now it really felt real. Him acknowledging it truly, wholeheartedly, and not just in the heat of an argument made shivers run through your body. 

“Us,” you repeated, a goofy grin unable to be suppressed came about on your lips. “I’m okay with that.” You let out a bit of a dreamy sigh. “You know, this all feels really new and really old at the same time.”

Bucky chuckled, “I think that’s how these things work, right?” His other hand came to lay on top of yours gently. “We feel like we’ve known each other for years because, well, I think in some twisted way we kind of have.”

You contemplated the idea, realizing you felt that very deeply. You had and had not known him for almost your whole life. While Bucky wasn’t in the exact form you learned about him in, there was something within him, the actual him, you felt you knew like the back of your hand. 

“We need to go out again,” you finally said, worried continuing with such sentiments would make you emotional for the millionth time tonight. Bucky seemed to welcome this change.

“Are you asking me out on a second date, sweetheart?”

Butterflies filled your stomach. “Well, you weren’t making any move to do it,” you shrugged, shooting Bucky a playful look. He responded with a dramatic eye roll. 

“Maybe I like a woman who takes charge,” he said, shooting you an award-winning, knowing smirk. 

You gasped, your neck suddenly getting hot. Actually, you felt much of yourself getting warm from the little innuendo hidden within his tone. Words were suddenly getting lost on your tongue as your brain short-circuited. You mumbled, “A second date could definitely be fun.”

Bucky let out a room-filling laugh at your sudden nervousness. The twinkle in his eyes told you he would enjoy making these little teasing comments to you from now on. 

“How about tomorrow night, doll? Good night for a second date, don’t you think? Assuming you actually want to see me after tonight’s fiasco.”

You nodded, ignoring his self-deprecation. You couldn’t talk it out of him so actions maybe had to speak louder. “What should we do?”

Bucky waved a hand in dismissal. “You let me handle it. I’ll surprise you.”

“I thought you liked it when a woman took charge?” Now your smirk was just as evil and mischievous. Bucky raised his brows in surprise but rolled with it. He had quite the silver tongue you found. 

“Sure do,” he said, “but a man still has to make sure he takes care of his lady, too.”

You giggled and cozied up into his side, very much enjoying the sound of that. “Fine. Take the reins, Bucky.”

[a-pretty-nerd]

Self Indulgent Shigaraki Nonsense Part...6??

Tomura Shigaraki x Pregananant reader series

A/N: Dude I'm not even close to being done, I really love writing this series. It's a whole lot of fun to see Shigaraki have a normal domestic life with the reader. Like damn. I'm thinking of writing a one-shot where the reader doesn't keep the pregnancy and its reader and Shigaraki going through the motions of that in their relationship because I'd like some more diverse fanfic out there. Let me know what you think!

Warnings: Descriptions of childbirth. If you want you can honestly skip this part.

Your contractions started early in the morning. Around 2am you felt the familiar cramp in your stomach that pulsed. At first, you thought it was another false alarm. You had been having a lot lately, but they just kept coming. They weren't long, and they weren't super painful yet either. They just made you tense and pause for breath. You shuffled out of the bathroom and looked over to the sleeping form in your bed.

There the father slept peacefully. You gazed upon his gentle features tucked underneath layers of scaring. You had wondered if the baby would take after him. If they would have that cute little beauty mark on his chin. You suddenly realized You'd be finding out soon enough. You laid back down beside him and closed your eyes in an attempt to get a few more hours of sleep before you had to prepare.

Mostly everything had been prepared beforehand. Your Midwife, a kind woman by the name of Mae would be on call at all times. Once contractions started getting regular, you were to call her. Apparently, Mae was well known amongst villain and crime families. When Tomura first brought her, you were surprised there was even such a thing as a Villian Midwife. But the more you thought about it, the more it made sense. Underground villains and criminals needed their own help. Accountants, lawyers, employees, etc. With Villians becoming more and more popular, it was no surprise that you weren't the only villain family.

Mae was a professional, the best at her craft. She'd delivered hundreds of babies without issue and you would be her next case. She practically took over the house with everything she did. Helping to put together a nursery and everything you could have ever needed. You decided on natural water birth. Something that made Shigaraki unreasonably nervous. If anything went wrong, he was prepared to call every villain doctor he knew of. Hell, he'd send for you to be airlifted to the nearest hospital if necessary.

The pain woke you up again. The intense ache coursing through your body. You let out a strained breath as you sat up in bed. Your partner jumping to life with a jolt. You chuckled through the pain when you saw his wide-eyed expression.

"You okay?" He asked, his wide eyes filled with concern. You've never seen him so visibly worried before. So doting. You continued to laugh as the pain passed.

"Yeah it's just, the contractions, they're getting worse." You took deep breaths as you sat up in bed. Resting your head against a tower of pillows. Tomura sat up to get a better look at you.

"Should I call Mae?"

"Um...no I don't think that's necessary yet."

"Have they been regular?"

"Well, every ten or so minutes."

"I'm calling Mae." He turned away to get up and reach for his phone before you stopped him.

"No! Not yet. I can wait. I don't wanna bother her." His expression turned dark.

"I'm calling Mae." He ignored you, leaving the room to call the midwife. You huffed in frustration. Really, you felt fine. It was like a bad period cramp. There was no need to panic. "She'll be here in thirty minutes. I'm preparing the tub."

"No, Tomura wait, please. That's not necessary. I'm not even remotely close yet. Just hold on a few more hours." Tomura looked away and back down the hallway. He shifted from side to side before entering the room again and sitting on the edge of the bed beside you. His eyes glued to your thighs. He reached out a gloved hand and placed it on your knee, running his hand up and down your thigh.

"Don't try to tough this out." He told you.

"I won't." His eyes shot up to give you a knowing look.

"You need to tell me if anything goes wrong. If anything feels even the slightest bit off."

"I will. I promise." You reassured him. Bringing your hand to grasp his. He pulled his eyes away to look down at your hand and squeeze back.

"This is really what you want? It's not too late, Mae could bring it to be adopted. We could go home." Tears filled your eyes. No. You've come so far, done so much to prepare. You're not giving them up now. You shook your head.

"No. I can't do that. I've come too far for that now. That isn't my home anymore." You tore your hand from his to cup his cheek. When you looked back up, you could see tears forming in his ruby-red eyes. He looked scared. His bottom lip starting to quiver. "You are." You told him. He let out a defeated sigh and rested his head against your belly.

"You better not hurt her. You hear me? You better be good to her." He whispered. Your tears finally fell down your warm cheeks. You quickly wiped them away. You loving ran your fingers through his hair, petting his head. The sweet moment only to be interrupted by the sharp pain of another contraction.

"Fuck!" You cursed as your hand tightly grasped his shoulder. His attention snapped up to you, tears running down his face as he watched. Soon the pain passed as you took deep breaths. "Do you think, you could time my contractions for me?" You asked as it eased.

And so the hours upon hours of labor began. At first, Mae recommended you stand and move around to lessen the intensity of your pain. So now Tomura watched you shuffle around the house as you groaned and cursed. He timed every contraction, put the blow-up pool together, and set up towels by it, made you raspberry leaf tea because he read somewhere that was helpful.

He counted the seconds until Mae arrived. When the doorbell rang he promptly stood from his seat on the couch and quickly went to open the door. There stood the short old woman with a large smile plastered across her face. Her six arms holding a plethora of bags and boxes of necessities and pleasantries. She left one hand free just to greet him with a wave. He looked behind to watch the car with his own men drive away, and then again around the yard.

"Don't worry. There's no one but me, honey." Mae reassured as she pushed past him and into the house. You watched her waddle in as a contraction began to fade. Her attention leaving Tomura far behind and devoting it entirely to you. You watched Tomura grunt before looking back out the door to check one more time before closing and locking it. "I mean really, think about it. What woman in her right mind would use this time of all times to call the heroes on you. How cruel would I be!" She chuckled as she set her things down.

"You'd be a fool not to. A time like this would be perfect. We're alone and vulnerable." He growled behind her.

"And end my career just like that? No sir! I've worked too hard to get where I am just to let you dust me! Now let's see, you said on the phone contractions were regular?"

"Oh, well, not really. They're not that bad. Maybe every fifteen, ten minutes, give or take. Right?" You looked up at Tomura as he starred down with a cold expression.

"Her pain varies, but the timing is growing consistent." He corrected. You huffed in annoyance.

"Alright well let me just check the baby's heartbeat before we do anything else, okay? The last visit everything was fine, but we can't be too careful now can we, Dad?" She addressed him. A cold metal stethoscope glided across your skin as she silently listened. "Good, strong heartbeat. Everything looks good right now. Let's keep you active for now and monitoring those contractions, okay? Dad? How are we doing on preparations?" She turned back to look up at Tomura with an unbothered stare. He glared down at her.

"I've prepared the pool and towels. I'll add the warm water when we're getting closer."

"Oh good. That's more than most Dads do. You got a planner here don't ya?" She turned to you and smiled.

"Heh. He's a doomsday prepper." You joked. Tomura did not find this amusing, but Mae gave a kind giggle.

"Well, at least he's smart, huh?" She spoke as she shuffled away and back to her cluster of items. You looked up at Tomura and watched his expression soften as his eyes met yours. You gave him a kind smile.

"Something like that." His eyes narrowed on you for a moment, only to relax again when you chuckled at him.

Contractions came and went. Getting stronger and stronger by the hour. Now they were getting closer and closer. They started at 2am, it was now 9 at night. Tomura helped you undress to get you into the warm water of the pool he placed in the living room. Mae moving furniture aside and setting up her tools and everything as you stepped into the warmth of the bath. It allowed your tense muscles to relax, forcing a moan of relief from your lungs. Tomura knelt down behind you, his gloved hands never too far behind.

He watched you closely, all of his attention focused entirely on you. His right hand reaching out to rub soothing circles across your bare back. You closed your eyes shut as you groaned, another contraction grabbing ahold of you.

"That's it, good job. Don't forget your breathing, focus on your breathing. Dad, don't forget to do the breathing too." His eyes flashed up at Mae before going back to you.

"C'mon Y/N, breath with me." He instructed, his hand coming around to lay flat against your chest as you laid back against the pool. He felt your chest rise and fall with each deep breath. "Good. Again." He continued firmly. Another contraction struck, sending a jolt of pain throughout your entire body. You coiled back in pain, your face scrunching into a painful grimace.

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!"

"Okay! Okay! Let's check you again see how far you're along okay!? Just breath."

"Just breath." He repeated.

"I'm breathing! I'm breathing!" You shouted back in frustration.

"Okay we're getting close you guys, we might be ready to push here in a few minutes." You panted as the pain subsided again. Tomura's attention came back down on Mae.

The birth itself felt like a pain-fueled blur. An intoxicatingly painful bender of sounds and colors. You couldn't focus or think straight, the pain rattling your head in your own skull. He watched you bark and huff and cry out. Something he knew very well. For a moment it took him back to the long and painful Dr's visits. The pain so unimaginable he grows hot with rage at the idea you might be feeling even an ounce of pain at all. Pain he caused.

You swung your head back to plant it firmly on his shoulder, your hair wet with sweat and water. He holds your hand tight, willingly letting you crush it with your own strength. It's nothing to him. He presses his lips into your temple. Wishing with all his might he could go back in time and change things. You're panting, you're body is growing weak, your hand is losing its grasp. Your shoulders are relaxing. No. No. This isn't right. You're not supposed to be this weak now!

"Almost!" Mae's voice shouts with gusto. He rests his head against yours before he lets out a weak and exhausted sigh. His voice rattles in a sad and begging tone.

"C'mon Y/N. You're so close." He says softly. Your body coils back as he feels your muscles spring to life once again. Your lungs filling with air before you let out a shrill, horrific battle cry. Only for it to abruptly be replaced by another. Your body drops limp in his arms once more as he feels you panting. Mae gives a triumphant cheer and proceeds to tell you how well you've done. How it's all over.

"Hello, little one!" The old lady chimes brightly. Tomura keeps his eyes shut tight as he presses his head against yours. He hears their loud, harsh cry. He knows it's over. He knows there is no going back. Once he opens his eyes and looks at them, at that little monstrosity, it'll be all over. Maybe you'll see the truth when you see it. Maybe you'll finally understand and come home with him once and for all.

"Both of you, open your eyes! Look at him!" Mae orders. The harsh and intense pain subsided, left with a dull ache, renders you exhausted. You hardly feel you have the strength to open your eyes, much less move. You pull your head up, feeling the weight of it on top of your neck. Heavy and pounding. You pull your eyelids apart to look down, your vision blurry at first. The harsh light blinding you for a moment before the shapes you see sharpen and become reality.

"Tomura, look." You whisper. His hand squeezes yours, he's gently shaking. You turn to watch him slowly open his eyes, and turn his head. In Mae's arms, a rather small and wrinkly infant cries. It's nearly blue skin, changing as it screams. Its face quickly becoming red with expression. It's no monster. It's weak and helpless and unaware. It's so small, it's half the height of his forearm. Its little hands, balled into fists, swat at the air as its legs coil back to its torso.

"Say hello!" Mae jokes. With a weak smile and laugh you oblige.

"Hello!" You coo. Tomura relaxes as you look back at him with a kind and elated smile. His gaze never leaves the child as Mae prepares him to be placed on your bare chest. Its crying soon subsides as it curls up under your chin. It's crying being replaced with little huff and sniffles from you. He leans back and away to watch the two of you.

He's in shock it would seem. As he sits back to watch you, he feels a tightness in his chest. He feels a wave of somber relief wash over him. His thoughts were gone only replaced my emotions.

"Dad?" Mae calls to him. "Dad?" She calls again. The third time he turns his head to look at her with a wide-eyed expression. She chuckled at him. "Would you like to cut the cord?" She offers, bringing him closer and instructing him how. He does so, quickly turning his attention back to the two of you. You look so peaceful. So happy. His gaze trails down to his child.

He watches his balled little fists press themselves against your chest, its expression turning relaxed and calm. Its little head covered in a rich black mess of hair. What color are its eyes? He wonders.

You turn your head to look up at him with that sweet adoring smile. His heart raced in his chest. He is overwhelmed and yet at this moment, nothing is happening. Time has slowed and has become irrelevant to him. The way you look at him. He feels like he's done something right. Like he's being praised for a job well done. He feels wrong about it. He should be making you feel that way. So, he tries.

"A boy?" His voice is hoarse and shaking. You nod your head. "A boy."

"A healthy one at that! Those lungs!" Mae jokes again as her arms go about working to clean and manage the space. You gently run the pads of your fingers against his small little back. His skin is so soft and smooth.

"Give me your hand." You requested.

"What?" He spat in shock.

"Give me your hand." You repeat firmly, your fingers gently spelling out the word: Mom, on his little back. Tomura reaches out a gloved hand. You reached out and removed the glove, taking his middle finger and gently directing it to the baby's back. "Gently." You tell him. Pressing the pad of his finger to his son's soft back. With this, you gently spell: Dad, repeatedly. Until he understands and continues to spell it himself along the baby's back. Very careful, and delicate. Tomura rests his head on your shoulder as he continues, slowly drawing the word. Allowing for a safe and intimate moment between the three of you.

[shotokimchi]

Coffee & Printer

 Pairing: Shoto Todoroki x Reader x Touya Todoroki (Dabi)

Modern Office Au!

Summary: You are the secretary of Touya and Shoto Todoroki. The heads of the Todoroki Company.

Note: All characters are aged up!

Warnings: Threesome, anal sex, vaginal sex, blowjob, dirty talking and some filthy stuff, pure little shoto and nasty dabi p-p

*knock knock knock* After waiting for a response for fifteen seconds “Come in.” You took a deep breath and opened the door of the big elite room. There were two giant desks for the heads of the company, the older one was Touya Todoroki. He was charismatic, charming a huge flirt but also really hard working and strict. The other one was Shoto Todoroki; calm, a little cold but smart and also kind. Touya lifted his head with your arrival and nodded to you. “Sir, here’s the schedule of the meetings we’re gonna attend today.” He eyed the list and a small smile of approval appeared on his lips “Good.” You bowed and just when you were about the leave... “L/n.” You turned towards the younger sibling and walked towards his desk “Yes, Mr.Todoroki?” He handed you some documents “I want a copy of those documents and can you bring me some coffee?” You gave a small smile and bowed “Of course, sir.”

You were working with the Todoroki Company for four years. That’s why you were the secretary of the Todoroki siblings. You were a hardworker and strict towards the unexperienced employees but you always smiled and tried to be kind. You were the only one who could deal with the stupid shenanigans of the Todoroki siblings, you weren’t just an ordinary secretary, they valued your opinions and listened to you.

“Good morning L/n-san!” An employee greeted you as you made your way towards the printing room. “Good morning, can you prepare a cup of cafe latte for Mr.Shoto then send it to his room?” The employee nodded and left, after printing the documents you made your way towards your personal room. Just when you were about to sit on your chair, your phone rang, it was Shoto. You knew why he was calling so after mentally rolling your eyes, you answered. “Yes, Mr.Todoroki?” after a second of silence you heard his soft voice “L/n, i asked you to bring me a cup of coffee?” you pinched the bridge of your nose “I told them to bring it to your office, are they late?” you knew where this conversation was going... “No, but i wanted you to bring me one, It doesnt taste the same.” There it was, the pouty tone of the Ceo, sometimes he really acted like a child. “Mr.Todoroki, i cant always bring you your coffee, i need some work to do.” He sighed and a smirk appeared on your lips “Then bring me the documents that i told you to copy.” You grabbed the documents and aswered “Of cour-” But he cut you off “And bring me a cafe latte on the way.” Then he hung up.

You squeezed the cup in your hand, sometimes the Todoroki’s acted like kids and you felt like their bigger sister but you tried to keep your cool, you didnt wanted to be unprofessional. “knock knock knock!!!” this time, your knock were stronger and annoyed. “Come in.” After hearing Shoto’s voice, you barged in. Touya gave you a confused and curious look but you paid no mind “Here’s your coffee sir.” Because of your harsh behaviour, Shoto gave you an astonished look and took the cup “Thank you, L/n.” You heard someone chuckle and your eyes met with turquoise ones “Did you just called her for a cup of coffee Shoto?” The younger simbling sent a small glare towards his brother and sipped his drink. “By the way, L/n.” Touya’s voice caught your attention “Lets go, we need a meeting to arrenge.” You nodded and left the room with Touya.

“Please wait, Mr.Touya.” Before he could open the door you stopped him and he gave you a questioning look. “What is it?” Your hands found his necktie and fixed it “There.” He eyed you for a moment, then started to laugh. Your cheeks started to heat up and you frowned “What?” He ran his fingers through his black locks and shook his head “You really act like a baby sitter sometimes. If you pamper me too much, i’ll have a hard time finding the perfect bride, my expectations are keep getting higher y��know?” Your eyes widened “What does that mean, Mr.Touya?” He smirked and shook his head “Nevermind, lets go.”

The meeting went smoothly and after dealing with the brothers, you finally managed to sit on your chair and do some paperwork, after working for three hours, your phone rang... again but this time it was Touya. “L/n, where did you put my glasses again? I cant find them.” You sighed and answered “Mr.Touya, they were on your desk. Are you sure that they’re not on your head right now?” After a minute of silence he chuckled “I guess you were right.” You hung up on his face and continued your work. There were some documents that needed to be printed so you made you way towards the printer room. Luckily, it was empty so it was going to be fast and easy. While waiting for the paper, the door opened and Shoto appeared, you bowed “If you needed the printer, you should’ve just called me sir.” He didnt answered and locked the door, you raised a brow “Sir?” He started to walk towards you and your heart started to beat faster, when you felt his hot breath on your face, you panicked “S-sir?” He started to lean towards you “I couldnt find you in your room so i asked the other employees.” Then he put some distance between you. Did you get it wrong or was it on purpose? “Come to our office when you’re done, my brother and i need to discuss something with you.” You nodded and when he disappeared from your vision, you gave a sigh of relief, what was happening to you?

You didnt know why you were feeling nervous, just when you were about to knock on the door a weird feeling surrounded you but you didnt know why. Shaking your head you knocked on the door and after hearing their voices of approval, you slowly twisted the knock. “Ah, there you are~” Touya was standing in front of his desk with some papers in his hands “What do you need help with?” After hearing your confused tone, Touya chuckled and shared a look with Shoto, he was always quiet but this time it was different Shoto looked unsure and...nervous? Touya started to walk towards the door, you watched his movements with a confused look but in an instant, a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist and you gasped. “Dont just look at my brother...” Shoto’s hot breath made your cheeks burn. “S-sir! What are you doing?!” Touya chuckled and locked the door. “I have been waiting for this moment for so long, dont just keep her all to yourself little bro.” Your breath hitched in your throat, what the fuck was happening? Just when you were about to open your mouth, Shoto sucked on your neck and a sweet moan escaped your lips. “Si-Shoto, please stop!” Then Shoto raised his head and your teary eyes met with his mismatched ones, a small tinge of pink was visible on his cheeks, what he did was so dirty yet, he looked so innocent and it felt so good. His eyes were clouded with lust and care... Then Touya’s fingers tilted your chin and his lips found yours a small mewl escaped from your lips and he forced his tounge into your mouth. It was soft and hot, you never felt something like this before. Shoto’s hands found your blouse and started unbuttoning it, then he yanked it off and you felt so bare. “Let me tell you what we’re doing.” Touya’s voice sent shivers down your spine “Our old man wants us to get married soon, but we’re not doing that since we both took a liking to someone~” Shoto nuzzled his face on your shoulder and cupped your clothed breasts, your hands grabbed his wrists and he kissed your cheek “I dont wanna get m-married Y/n... I love you.” Your lip quivered and your fingers found his hair, he sounded so desperate. “Say baby girl, you know us more than anyone else, how can we marry someone else?” He started to leave hickeys on the other side of your neck “T-touya...” You tried to call out to him but it was more like a whisper. Both of them started to drown your neck in red and blue bruises and your hands massaged their scalps. With a swift move, Touya took of your bra and threw it somewhere across the room. “Look lil bro, she’s beautiful isnt she?” Shoto nodded and squeezed your nipples “S-shoto~” Shoto started to twist and tug at them while Touya got on his knees and ripped your tight black skirt. He grabbed one of your legs and threw it on his shoulder “Your skin is so soft baby girl~” His teeth grazed your thigh and you jumped. It was all too much, Shoto’s chest pressed against your back, his hands on your tits, and Touya’s hands roaming over your clothed core and thigs, it was too much... “Please...” You mewled and they both stopped their movements. “Say it again, love...” Shoto’s soft voice melted your heart and Touya gave your tighs a squeeze “Beg us to fuck you silly.” Then he took of your panties and toyed with the little ribbon on the front. “Open your mouth, you slut.” You obeyed and he stuffed them in your mouth, Shoto’s eyes widened and his member poked you from behind “Look at her lil bro, she looks like a mess. You like your panties in your mouth, yeah?” You whined and he smacked your thigh, Shoto’s eyes were watching you with awe. “Watch and learn lil bro. Now, on your knees, slut.” The ach between your legs were unbearable so you immediately obeyed and sat on the floor “Look at her face Shoto. Isn’t it erotic?” Shoto audibly gulped and nodded. Touya unbuckled his pants and your eyes popped out of their sockets, he was huge. “You like what you see, baby?” You averted your eyes and he grabbed your chin “Now let me tell you what you’re gonna do, youre gonna suck my cock and Shoto’s gonna watch.” His tone was demanding, it was hard to resist, you nodded and he grabbed your hair. “That’s not fair Touya.” Touya laughed at his brother’s frustrated tone “Patience, lil bro.” Your touge circled his tip and he growled, you continued your movements and he showed his lenght in your mouth, you gagged and he hissed “Dont tease me slut, now suck.” You bobbed your head with a steady pace and Touya’s hips joined you. Then your eyes met with Shoto’s. He was stroking his length with a blush on his face, you moaned around Touya’s cock and he looked towards his brother. “Stroke his cock, baby girl.” Your eyes met with Shoto’s and he moaned at the sight, you were stunning. Drool was dripping from your chin and your cheeks were red. When he felt your warm hand around his lenght he let out a delicious moan and you couldnt help but whimper, you tightened your hold on Shoto’s cock and gave him the attention he deserved. “Thats enough baby, now suck his cock.” You turned your head towards Shoto’s lenght and he pushed it towards your face “Please Y/n, please please please...” You smiled and kissed the tip, he moaned and covered his face with his hand. Touya chuckled “Look what you’ve done to the Ceo of the Todoroki company, he is begging for your mouth. Now be a good girl and please us.” You nodded and wrapped your lips around Shoto, while stroking Touya. The room filled with moans, hisses and growls. Shoto was more vocal and that turned you on, Touya was all about growling and hissing and it was so sexy, they had their own charms and it amazed you. Shoto’s hips started to shake and his moans started to get louder “Y-y/n, fuck!” Then without a warning, he came inside of your mouth and being the good girl you are. You swallowed it all and opened your mouth, waiting for praise. Touya hissed “S-shit, thats hot.” his pace quickened and he came on your breasts. Shoto stroked your cheek and gave you a warm smile “Now its our turn to please you, love.” 

Now you were sitting on Touya’s lap on the leather couch, legs wide open and a necktine around your wrists, his chest was pressed against your back and he was abusing your nipples while Shoto prepared some lube. “You ready, love?” Shoto asked and you gave an unsure nod. Touya’s long fingers started to tease your puckering asshole and it hurted, you whimpered and he shushed you with sloppy wet kisses meanwhile Shoto stroked your clit with slow teasing circles. “Not gonna lie, its gonna hurt but im gonna make it feel good baby.” You were scared but you trusted Touya so you nodded. He pressed his tip to your entrance and slowly pushed “T-touya!” You screamed and Shoto peppered your face with small kisses “It’s okay.” When he succesfully bottomed out, Shoto rubbed your wet heat with his longs lenght, you moaned at the sensation and grinde your hips. “S-sho.. Please.” After pecking your lips, Shoto filled your greedy hole with his lenght, you were so full and it was overwhelming but at the same time, it was good. “Mnh, please~” You were deperate for some friction, Touya grabbed your ass cheeks and started to thrust his hips “Thats it baby.” He moaned and Shoto joined his brother with a gentle pace, his cold fingers continued their assault on your clit and it was too much “Sh-shoto, faster!” Shoto smirked and increased his pace, it felt like heaven. “More, more, more!” You were screaming, tears were falling from your glossy eyes and your lips were puffy and red. Touya laughed and smacked your ass “Greedy,slut!” Both men were so fast, it was too much. Shoto’s hand were gripping your thighs for dear life while Touya’s hands were smacking the shit out of your cheeks. “Fuck! I can feel you lil bro.” The three of you were dripping with sweat but it didnt matter. “Please fill me up!” You screamed and tried to move your wrists but they were tied. Shoto’s hips were moving with an unhumanly speed and Touya wasnt any different. Your walls were spasming around them, your insides were melting. “S-shit, im cumming!” Touya warned and his hips stuttered, Shoto’s hips were still moving with a face pace then all of a sudden white clouded your vision and your walls squeezed the life out of their cocks Touya loudly cursed and Shoto’s warm liquid painted your insides. They managed to pull out and Touya untied the necktie, a dull ache surrounded your body and you sighed. Shoto grabbed some tissued and cleaned you. Then Touya wrapped his coat around your shoulders and smiled, it was a rare sight but he was beautiful. Your cheeks started to burn after the realisation and Touya chuckled “Hey you cant be embarrased after the things we’ve done.” Shoto rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around your shoulders “Are you feeling okay, Y/n?” You smiled and nodded “Yes, thank you Shoto.” Then you gave them a confused look “So, what now?” Touya raised a brow “What do you mean, what? You belong to us now.” And he smirked, your heart started to beat faster and Shoto smiled “We love you, Y/n.” You smiled and looked at the beautiful men, you were so lucky to have them. All these years, you worked with them, ate with them and helped them. You knew them better than anyone else, you loved them. “Shoto, Touya... I love you too.” And this was the start of your relationship with the Todoroki siblings...

Note: If you liked it please reblog the fic! This is my 2nd time writing a smut fic so im really sorry if its bad! <3 ^^ 

[barnesbabee]

I’ll Fuck You Like A Pornstar || K.H

Summary: Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be fucked, like a pornstar?

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Reader

Words: Ask God, he might know Idk

Genre: Smut

⚠ drinking, punishment, pornstar!au, spanking ⚠

A/N: I love Hongjoong’s lips :)). Enjoy 💖

ᴄʀ: ʙᴀʀɴᴇꜱʙᴀʙᴇᴇ

Seonghwa ver. || San ver. || Jongho ver.

“Good morning Sir! What can I get you?”

  “Your number.”

   Your sleepy eyes widened and you took a better look at the smiling man in front of you. He had bleached hair, swept back into a beanie, and several earrings decorating his ears. His eyes were serene and soft, and his style, although casual, was very eye-catchy. The man was gorgeous, there was no doubt. Your doubts rested in his question: why did this idol-like stranger want your number? You had very visible eyebags from the lack of sleep and there was a huge stain of your shirt from when you had tried to make a smoothie but forgot to put the lid on the blender.

    You had no answer to the flirty line, not because you were shy or not used to being courted like that, but because your sleep-deprived mind could not formulate an adequate response.

    He chuckled with the most attractive voice you’d ever heard when he saw you frozen. You watched as he pulled out his phone from the pocket of his jacket and unlocked it, handing it to you.

    “Is that a yes?”

   You finally broke out a smile and bit your lip. You hesitantly reached for the phone and typed in your number. Instead of typing your name, however, you decided to redeem yourself from your previous lack of response and type in ‘princess’.

    The male’s smile widened when he saw your name and he chuckled.

    “Well then, princess,” He said, looking at you with a hedonistic expression as his tongue grazed his lower lip “I would like a caramel macchiato to go.”

    “Certainly Sir, and what would be the name for the cup?” You asked, teasingly, holding a black pen near the cup.

     “Hongjoong.”

     The second he left the café (after winking cheekily winking at you of course) you couldn’t help but wait for your phone to vibrate with a text from him. You had never noticed how many texts you received throughout the day until you were waiting for a particular one.

     The day went on painfully slow, but your heart was racing, waiting for the handsome man’s text… You were getting a little impatient, you had to admit, and by the time you were closing up the shop, you were a little upset about the fact that you didn’t even get a ‘Hello’ text. 

   You were pouting to yourself when a loud sound rang from your pocket. Who could be calling you at this hour!?

    You set down your broom and grabbed the phone.

    Unknown Number

   It had to be Hongjoong, although you were a little surprised, you didn’t expect him to straight up call you, who does that? Nevertheless, you slid your thumb across the screen and accepted the call.

    “Hello?” You asked, beginning to think that this was all a prank.

    “Hello princess, are you done with your work?”

    His voice was mellow and in that tone, he could make you do whatever he wanted. You bit your lip at the pet name. You loved to be called princess, but it just sounded so much better when it was him saying. 

     “Just about, I’m closing the café now.” You informed him.

    There was a pause, and when he was about to speak you interrupted him.

    “Hongjoong, why did you call me though? You know a text would do just fine…”

    He chuckled from the other side of the line.

    “Texting just feels so impersonal, you know? Especially when I’m about to ask you out for a drink.”

    This man had no shame… He sweet-talked you like you were his already, and he spoke with an overwhelming amount of confidence.

     “Out? Right now?”

     “Yes, right now. Meet you in front of your café in say, two hours?”

    You smiled to yourself and grabbed your coat, ready to leave.

     “If you’re not on time I’m leaving.”

     “Gotcha, princess.”

     You hung up, and the cheeky smiled stayed on your lips. You were attracted to the way he behaved and carried himself. He was good-looking, he was fashionable, and he knew so. Hongjoong knew exactly how to handle himself and fuck, it was hot.

    You nearly sprinted to your house, out of excitement. It was about twenty minutes away from your workplace, but you managed to get there in twelve. 

    As soon as you stepped into your apartment you stripped from your work attire and threw it somewhere on the floor. You only had about one hour and fifty minutes to get ready, and you had to rush yourself.

    One hour and a half passed in the blink of an eye, and you absolutely had to leave the house. 

   You took one last look at yourself in the mirror and pulled down the tight skirt of your flashy cocktail dress. You nodded at the hot-shot staring at you in the mirror and threw a jacket over your shoulders as you left the house.

   You hated to walk in a short dress, alone at night, so you walked as fast as you could in those nude-coloured stilettos of yours.

  When you could finally see the café in the distance, you noticed someone leaning against the big glass window. His style wasn’t very common, but you had to admit that he looked amazing in that deep red turtleneck and black beret.

   “Hello!” You greeted once you were close enough.

   Hongjoong looked at you from head to toe and smiled. You watched as he said nothing, while straightening himself, taking his phone from your pocket and showing its screen to you.

   “8:32. You’re late, good girls aren’t late.” He said, expecting a flustered response.

   “Well then, I guess you’ll just have to punish me.” 

   Hongjoong cocked a brow and looked at you in amusement, absolutely enjoying your blatant behaviour.

    “Let’s go then?”

   You and the male walked to the famous bar nearby making some small talk before you reached. 

   You learned that the both of you shared a common passion: getting absolutely shitfaced. You loved the you that came out whenever the shots of tequila hit. You loved the thrill and shamelessness drinking brought out of you.

   The bar wasn’t far, so in just a couple of minutes you were entering the alcohol and smoke-reeking place. You huffed in a breath, as if you were smelling the fresh air in a park. You missed these environments.

   Hongjoong noticed and chuckled, leading you to a booth that had a round table, and a large, red sofa almost all the way around it. 

   You sat in front of each other and ordered a couple of light drinks, since it wasn’t even close to an acceptable hour to ask for a round of shots.

   “So, princess,” He started “mind telling me your real name?”

   You blushed a little at the fact that you hadn’t even told him your name yet.

   “My name is Y/N.”

   He nodded along to the information.

   “Pretty name.”

   You chuckled and looked at him teasingly.

   “You’re not gonna hit me with a ‘Pretty name, just like you’ line?” You asked.

   Hongjoong smiled at you and took a sip of his scotch.

  “No, I don’t need to.”

   You looked at him in disbelief, at how smooth he was, and took your drink up to your mouth to hide the slight pink tone on your cheeks.

   As per usual, most of the talking the two of you did was to get to know each other, but the whole hour or so of sharing stories and moments from your lives came to a halt with a particular question.

   “Hey, you already know what I do for a living, but what do you do? Are you like a model? ‘Cause you sure dress like one.”

   Hongjoong smiled at the compliment and chuckled, looking at the ground for a second before looking straight into your eyes. 

   “Something like that…”

   You noticed the way his eyes darkened for a second and you tilted your head to the side, in confusion.

   “What do you mean, ‘Something like that’?”

   Hongjoong leaned in, close enough so his lips were almost touching your ear.

   “I’m a pornstar.”

   You almost spit your drink back into your cup, but when you saw him pull away with the biggest, smuggest smirk of the night, you forced yourself to recompose.

   “What? Does that freak you out?” He asked, although he didn’t look the slightest bit preoccupied if him being a pornstar bothered you.

   You bit your lip in return and shook your head.

   “Of course it doesn’t…” Hongjoong paused for a second and moved closed to you, so close that his thigh touched yours.

   He looked down at your exposed legs and placed his hand on one of them, squeezing it lightly. Your eyes followed his tongue, as he swiped it across his lower lip.

   “Because you like it, don’t you?”

   The question kind of caught you off guard, and your eyes snapped up to meet his. Only then did you realize how close you were, just a mere centimeters away from your noses touching.

   His lewd whispers made you a little tense, and a small pool started forming between your legs. You pressed your thighs together, and when Hongjoong felt it, he moaned quietly.

   “Have you lost the ability to speak, princess?” He asked smugly, thinking that he had finally been able to make you speechless.

   You smiled and bit your lip, trying to decide if you should say what was on your mind or not. Ultimately, the bravery your couple of drinks had given you won over.

    “Not at all… I was just imagining how well a pornstar must fuck.”

   Hongjoong’s expression darkened and his face inched even closer, until his lips were brushing over yours.

    “Do you want to find out?”

    You replied by fully pressing your lips on his, moving them slowly yet roughly. Hongjoong’s hand traveled up your inner thigh until it was dangerously close to your aching core. His fingers dipped harshly in your skin, and you were sure they would be marked there the next day. Neither of cared who was watching, you just wanted to feel each other, to taste each other.

   Once you pulled away, he stood up and extended his hand for you to take. Confused, you grabbed your bag and took his hand in yours. He pulled you close and walked you out of the bar. 

   “Where are we going?” You asked.

   Hongjoong looked at you and let go of your hand, so he could sneak an arm around your waist and pull you closer.

   “To a place where I’ll make you scream my name.”

   You felt giddy and nervous, like a teen girl about to get her first kiss. 

   After a couple of minutes of silent walking and some groping from both parties, you arrived somewhere you assumed was his house. He immediately pulled you into his bedroom, and you looked around, curiously.

  The room was exactly what you expected. Big, with wine-coloured walls, setting a sensual tone around you, a big, king-sized bed with black sheets, a fancy wardrobe, a black desk by the window and a body-lenght mirror by the wall opposite to yourself.

  You looked at the iron bar above the bed, stuck to the wall and furrowed your eyebrows.

   "What is that for?" You asked, pointing at it.

   Hongjoong's arms snaked around your waist and pulled you close to him, your back hitting his chest. His lips lingered on your neck before placing a long kiss below your ear.

    "Do you want to find out?"

    The way his voice sounded, dominant and enticing, sent shivers down your spine, and you found yourself leaning into his touch.

    He chuckled at your response and bit your neck harshly, making you whimper. 

    Hongjoong’s fingers played with the hem of your dress for a second, before slowly sliding it up your body, and eventually off of you. He gripped your waist and turned you around, taking his sweet time to admire your body. 

    He was quick to undo your bra, and you allowed it to fall from your body, giving him a perfect view of your breasts.

    “Fuck…” He cursed, before locking his lips with yours.

    You moaned into the kiss when you felt one of your nipples being pinched harshly, and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. 

   He pulled away and bit his lip.

    “Get on the bed, I’ll show you what that iron bar is for.”

    You excitedly took a place on the bed and watched him strip down to his boxers. Fuck, his body was really a sight to see…

    Hongjoong approached the big wardrobe and fondled with some items in a drawer you couldn’t quite see. When he turned around, you saw a pair of big, shiny handcuffs playing in his fingers.

    Your eyes widened and his glistened.

    He approached you slowly and motioned for you to turn around. You obliged, and he hooked the handcuffs’ chain around the bar before tightening the silver rings around your wrists. 

   Hongjoong pat your ass softly and kissed your cheek.

   “You look so good like this… Now be a good girl or I’ll have to punish you, okay?”

   “Okay…” You replied. 

   You were almost certain that you wanted to act out, just so he could punish you.

    Hongjoong slipped off your panties and spread your legs wider. The cold air hitting your bare pussy made you feel exposed. A good kind of exposed. 

   “Don’t cum.”

    Before you knew it Hongjoong slid between your legs and slammed you down on his face. You immediately moaned at the contact, and gripped the chain that connected the cuffs together.

    Hongjoong’s tongue delivered kitty licks to your womanhood and entered you occasionally, and he couldn’t get enough of how well you tasted.

    His tongue swirled around you like he knew every corner of your body. Hongjoong would moan from time to time, the vibrations driving you insane.

    Your legs absolutely gave in the second he began sucking on your clit, and even though you did your best not to cum, you ended up crumbling under his touch, and you climaxed with a loud cry for his name. 

    Hongjoong immediately lifted you up and knelt behind you.

    He held your hips tightly and you could feel his boner pressing against your ass as his lips neared your ear.

   “You misbehaved, princess… I’ll have to do something about it, no?”

   Your tongue grazed along your lower lip and you nodded. You felt a sharp pain in your ass, before he stood up and walked to the wardrobe.

  You heard him rumble through items, followed by a whip in the air. 

   Fuck.

   It didn’t take long before you felt a stinging pain in your ass cheeks. You arched your back, He alternated between them, and the strength only increased at each whip. Suddenly he stopped and caressed your ass with one of his hands.

   “Are you hurting too much?” He asked, genuinely worried.

   For a second he forgot you weren’t one of his co-workers... 

   You smirked and glance at him over your shoulder.

   “Are you holding back too much?”

    Hongjoong loved a challenge, and the way you kept teasing him and pushing him to the edge… It was paradise.

    He swung his arm back and you could swear you saw stars when he whipped your ass. You whimpered and shook whenever the leather material hit your skin, and you could pretty much feel yourself dripping onto his mattress at this point. 

    Your wrists were already hurting from the amount of wiggling and pressure you put into them, but the reddening skin on your wrist was the least of your preoccupations.

    “Hongjoong… Please!” You begged loudly.

    “Please what princess? Have you had enough?”

    You nodded furiously.

    “Yes… Please fuck me Hongjoong, I need you in me now!”

    He swiftly undid your handcuffs and grazed his thumb over the red marks softly, as he pushed you down onto the mattress. Hongjoong spread your legs and knelt between them, removing his boxers in the process.

    As he let his cock free, it hit your stomach, causing you to whimper at the small contact. Still not done with playing with you, Hongjoong pressed the tip on his dick against your slit and ran it along your folds, loving to see your desperate reaction, and the way your hips bucked, begging for more.

   “Fucking stop teasing me and fuck me already!” You yelled as you gripped his wrists, that held your hips.

   “As you wish, princess.”

   He finally entered you, with a fulfilling harsh thrust. The way he moved in and out of you was absolutely the way of a professional. He had you screaming and squirming in no time, and the amount of stamina he had was unreal. 

    Hongjoong thrust into you faster and harsher at every thrust. The look on his face was almost as if he had some competition to win: it was feral and rough, his hair was stuck to his forehead and his eyes were dark.

    “Hongjoong… I-I’m gonna cum again…” You said between breaths.

    The male slapped one of your breasts and grabbed it harshly.

    “Cum for me princess. I wanna feel you around my cock.”

    A couple more thrusts and a harsh squeeze on your nipple were what triggered you. Your toes curled. you grabbed the sheets harshly and your eyes shut tightly as a new wave of pleasure washed over your body.

    Hongjoong let go of your breast, but his grip on your waist tightened, and his thrusts became uneven and sloppier. It was the lewd sounds of his cock slamming into your dripping core, along with your dirty sounds that sent him over the edge.

    He moaned lowly and pulled out, painting your stomach and breasts with a warm load of cum.

    You locked gazes with him and took some of his spurt in your finger, then inserting it in your mouth as you tasted him. 

    Hongjoong squeezed your thigh and smirked.

    “Whatever will I do with you, my princess.”

[1a-imagines]

No excuses

》 Bakugo x reader

》 Word count: 5k

》 Overview: You were childhood enemies who always ended up stuck together, you were neighbours, got put in all the same classes, ended up living together in the UA dorms. Overtime you grew to accept each others company, maybe even enjoy it. So what happens when your new work lives separate you for the first time?

Every day was lacklustre.

You weren't sure what; but something was missing. Ever since you went pro and moved into your own apartment you felt as though your life lacked something. There was an empty hole but you just weren't sure what used to be there.

Perhaps you just missed those simple UA days? Being surrounded with your friends day and night and not having to worry about all the things pro heroes had to worry about? There was no doubt it was a much less stressful time.

Or maybe it was the fact you no longer had your family breathing down your neck every second of the day? You were an adult now and that came with a whole new sense of freedom. Maybe what you were missing was being surrounded by your loved ones all the time? You lived alone in your new apartment and it was a big difference in contrast to the UA dorms you lived in for three years.

You thought you'd enjoy the quiet but it turns out you found the silence painful. It was more peircing to your ears than any yelling or screaming you had in the dorms.

No matter how much you wondered what was missing you just couldn't seem to place your finger on it. It's not like you weren't  keeping in touch with your friends and family. They called everyday, you certainly weren't lonely. So why was your heart still yearned for something... maybe even for someone?

With a sigh, you dried the last plate of the bunch and put it away. Finally done with your chores for the day. You dried your hands and went over to check your phone that had been thrown onto the couch. You saw a text notification pop up.

Blastard: (1 new message)

Oi! Idiot! Are you dead yet? I haven't heard from you in weeks!

You couldn't help but chuckle at his unique way of showing worry, though it would be a lie to say you weren't used to it by now. It was such a typical Bakugo move. You shook your head before typing out a reply.

Bad news for you, I live!

You hit send before throwing your phone back down. You felt awfully giddy about him texting you, which was a strange feeling, usually you annoyed the hell out of each other. As weird as it was; it had been awhile since you'd last spoken to him.

Maybe you were just happy he hadn't completely forgotten you exsisted, you figured once you went your seperate ways that you'd probably never talk again; unless it was work related.

You had grown up together, always forced to be around each other no matter how much you despised it. You were neighbours, you didn't go to the same schools, but you'd always hear him yelling through the walls whenever he was home, you'd always pass each other when leaving your houses on the morning, and to your 10 year old self? There was no worse way to start off your day than his stupid face being the first thing you see when leaving your home.

It was like you couldn't get through a day without running into him at least once.

Then you both ended up in the same highschool, UA, which meant you walked the same route everyday as well as being in all the same classes. Then you lived in dorms together for three years, which meant you were around your childhood enemy almost every minute of everyday.

It was like the universe was trying to torture you both.

You hated each other as kids, always getting into scrapes and arguments, but as you got older the hate died down into more of a friendly rivalry. You bickered non stop but you also grew to enjoy all those comebacks and quick retorts, it was like a never ending game of 'who can make the best comeback/insult'. It even made you laugh at times.

Eventually, somewhere during your UA days, you both got to a point where you could actually admit you were friends.

But after being stuck together for so long? You'd think you would be happy to have some peace and quiet around here. You no longer had to deal with explosions going off or yelling every 5 seconds. No yelling from downstairs or next door, no insults or smartmouthed comments.

Though, even you had to admit he had matured a lot since you were kids, he still kept true to his grouchy self, but he was no where near as violent or bad tempered. He'd calmed down a lot as you grew into adults and you were proud of him for coming so far.

You were about to go take a bath to relax after cleaning all day, but when you saw your phone light up again you couldn't stop yourself from diving for it.

Blastard: (1 new message)

The fuck do you mean? That's not bad news for me dumbass.

It was a little weird for him not to give a snarky reply but it's possible hero work was tiring him out as much as it had been tiring you out. You were about to tell him it was just a joke but then another message came through,

Blastard: (1 new message)

Have you been eating alright? I know you can't cook for shit and you're living alone now.

Your eyes softened at the message, a goofy smile spreading across your lips. Not only had he made an effort to message you first, something he rarely did, but he also was showing care for you? Your cheeks heated up and you took a second to press your face into a pillow, a way to collect yourself before you replied.

Aw, you care about me?~

I've been eating fine! Instant ramen exists for a reason! It's for people like me who "can't cook for shit" :P

His next reply was almost instant, it scared you how quick your phone was to sound with another notification.

Blastard: (1 new message)

Don't fucking tell me you've been living off of instant ramen this whole time-

You felt too shy to admit to the truth. It was true you hadn't been eating great since you had been living alone. Your job was so demanding you didn't have time to cook. Choosing fast options over home cooked meals had been your way of living for the past few weeks and admitting to it felt like a punch to your pride.

Blastard: (1 new message)

That's it, I'm coming over to make you an actual meal tonight. See you at 6.

You did a double take at the response.  There was clearly no room to argue.

"He's coming over!?" You jumped up in a panic at your sudden self invited guest. Lucky for him you had a rare night off work, and lucky for you, you had spent the day cleaning up. Maybe it'll look like you have this whole "adulting" thing down.

After glancing at the time and seeing it was only 4pm you threw your phone down. You needed to freshen up before he came over.

For some reason you felt this pressure to look good in front of him? But you had known him since you were little kids! He wouldn't care, he's seen you look much worse, so why did you care about looking good this time around? You shook your head, sick of all this over thinking and went to take a quick bath. Once you were done you dried your hair and threw on a fresh pair of clothes.

You felt excited to see him again and almost-... Nervous? It was a strange sensation, you shouldn't be feeling nervous to see him, you used to see him everyday. Maybe it was because this would be the first time you'd be spending time alone in your new home? Yeah, that must be it!

Glancing up at the time you still had half an hour until he arrived. You decided to take your mind off of all your swirling thoughts by mindlessly scrolling through your phone until your door bell finally rang.

You pushed yourself up with a small groan. You walked to your front door, your heart raced in your chest knowing who was on the otherside of the door. You took a deep breath through your nose before opening the door to see your familiar, scowling, friend. He stood there, a bag in his right hand and foot tapping on the floor as if he had been waiting ages for you to open the door for him.

"Kat! Long time no see!" You beamed up at him only for him to roll his eyes and brush past you. "Shut up and show me where your kitchen is, you need a proper meal."

You couldn't help but smile as you noticed the bag he carried was filled with fresh groceries. He was alway so bad with words but it was actions like this that made you see how much he really cared about you.

"Through there." You nodded your head toward an opening and followed him through after shutting the door. He put all the ingredients down and you leaned back against the counter watching him prepare the food. "What? No 'Hi Y/n, how have you been?' You cut right to the chase as always." You chuckled softly to yourself earning a glare from the blond as you attempted to imitate his voice.

"First of all! I don't sound like that! Second of all, I'm only here because you can't take care of yourself." He scoffed before adding. "Still annoying as always."

'Why was I missing him again?' You huffed, blowing some hair from your face in the process. "So! Chef! What are we having?"

"Curry." Was his quick reply as he began to lay out and cut up the ingredients. You hummed in delight at the thought of homemade curry. It had been a while since you had a good home cooked meal. Your family sometimes brought you leftover foods knowing how busy you were with work, but they couldn't come feed you everyday. You were an adult now and you needed to learn to cope on your own! Even with a busy career life.

"You remember what I like?" You asked, your eyes glimmering with an emotion he couldn't quite tell, in order to avoid looking at your face he kept himself busy with making dinner.

"I've known you for over 10 years, just because I haven't seen you for a few months doesn't mean I'm going to forget everything about you, idiot." He tutted, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. You leaned back against the counter beside him, your lips twisted into a soft frown.

"A few months huh? It feels like longer..."

You did not intend for him to hear that but he did, and honestly? He agreed.

Without you around to annoy him every hour of the day, things just seemed to go by painstakingly slow. Without you his days were boring, and as much as he hated to admit it, your stubbornness, your quick remarks and sarcastic comebacks, as much as they annoyed him, they added a certain spice to his life.

They kept him on his toes, he liked the challenges you gave him, whether it was getting the last word, winning against you in training or just coming up with the best insulting nickname. He couldn't believe he actually missed it all, but he did, and honestly? This whole dinner thing had just been an excuse to see you again.

He missed you.

"Tch, feels like not long enough." He grumbled as he moved over to the stove to turn it on. You sent him a cocky grin, shifting your weight onto your other foot. "Oh yeah? Then why were you so quick to come over here?" You hummed, tilting your head. He knew you were teasing him, he could tell by the way the words melted from your lips like butter, you were practically purring as you grinned at him. It reminded him of a cat.

He decided not to dignify you with a repsonce and you took that as a sign of victory. You giggled before turning to grab a drink from the fridge. You cracked open a can of soda and upon hearing the unmistakable fizzing noise Bakugo's head shot around to you, his eyebrows creased together in distaste. "You shouldn't be drinking that shit!" He barked at you.

"Oh come on! I've cut right back on the junk food. Look!" You threw the fridge door open to display the variety of fruits and vegetables in front of him. "I've been really healthy! I've even been doing a lot more weight training! Soon I'll be as strong as you! Maybe even more so!" You smirked, he wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look from your face. You shut the fridge door with your foot before taking another swig of your soda.

Bakugo scoffed, "You wish! You'll have to work a lot harder before you can even dream of matching up to my strength!" He sent you a toothy grin as he watched your shoulders deflate, eyes narrowing up at him.

Bakugo continued to put the chopped up ingredients into the pan, "Why have you been eating instant ramen this whole time if you have all that shit anyway?"

You turned your head away, cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. It took a lot to swallow down your pride enough to mutter the next words. "You know I can't cook very well." It was painful to admit you were an adult with the cooking capabilities of a child. Between school and work placements you just never found the time to practise new recipes. Not to mention the fact your family usually cooked a lot of meals for you.

You had contemplated practising some recipes in the past but something always manages to come up! You knew working as a pro was going to be hard, that you'd be busy every day, but you didn't know it would consume your life to this extent.

Without another word you walked towards the living room. "Let me know when dinner is ready!" You sent him a cheeky grin as you left. Bakugo turned back to the food, grumbling something about how he wasn't a damn slave, despite being the one who offered his services in the first place.

Looking around, he finally had time to take in the room, he hadn't seen it since you first moved in and bugged him and kirishima to help move boxes. The room was well decorated, not a thing out of place. Despite the apartment being pretty small you had done well to make it homely.

As he made the curry, he added in some spices and when he picked up the shaker labelled "Extremely hot", He smirked. He recalled the good ol' days in the UA dorms. He sometimes went out of his way to spike your food with hot spices. Your face was always priceless! The thought crossed his mind to do it again. After all, it wouldn't affect him, he loved spices and, unlike you, they didn't turn his face red.

He sighed before shaking his head. You were both grown up now, and you needed to eat a proper meal. He hated to even think about it but he did care for you. More than he would like to admit. He always thought once he went pro and finally got away from you, this "curse" you two shared of always being stuck together wherever you went would disappear, and he would be happy.

But he wasn't, somewhere down the damn line he has gotten used to your annoying presence, he had grown to like your quick remarks, how you never backed down from him, you weren't afraid to speak you mind or put him in his place, and as much as all those qualities used to bug the shit out of him as a kid, he had grown to respect them, even-... love them?

He clenched his teeth when he felt his cheeks heating up. God, he hated this. He wasn't cut out for this lifestyle! Why was he even here!? He could be out training! Not pining over his childhood enemy! The curry sauce started to bubble over in the pan and he cursed to himself, once again he was so distracted with thoughts of you that he couldn't concentrate on the task at hand!

He finished making the food, doing everything he could not to let his mind wander back to thoughts of you. He grabbed a few plates before putting the rice and curry onto them. He yelled through to you that the food was done, "I'm only in the next room! You don't have to yell so loud!" He huffed in amusement, your words were ironic considering your volume matched his. He smiled at your never ending bite, you always had something to say.

Such a smartass. He shouldn't enjoy it as much as he did.

You came through, throwing the empty soda can into the trash as you passed and sat down in the seat beside him. You hummed in delight, "Smells so good!!"

"Of course it does! I made it!" He grinned, taking a bite. While the lack of extreme spice was underwhelming for him, he knew you would like it. Your face twisted into distaste at his smugness, "I forgot to never stroke your fat ego."

He growled, ready to yell at you for the remark but when he saw you take the first bite of food his anger was forgotten.

Your eyes lit up like fireworks on a cold winter night. "I also forgot how crazy good of a cook you are!" You beamed, happily digging into the curry. His features softened, something about seeing you enjoy his food so much felt really good. He almost forgot to eat himself as he watched you stuff your face. You had gotten some rice stuck to your cheek as you shoveled the dish into your mouth. It was so stupidly cute, a soft smile graced his lips.

You caught him staring, it was rare to see him smile, no cocky grin or smirk, it was a real smile. Soft, relaxed, happy. You thought your heart was going to jump out of mouth. You did not expect that sight when you looked up from your food.

You gulped, not because there was food in your mouth, but because the atmosphere had suddenly changed. There was an invisible weight ontop of you both, crushing you.

"What…?" You asked quietly, hiding your face behind your hair. He snapped out of it, realising he'd been caught he froze, his heart skipped a beat. However, there was no time for him to get embarrassed because next thing he knew he was throwing a towel at you "You got rice all over your face, idiot! Wipe it off! You look stupid!"

You grumbled as the fabric hit your face, yet complied and wiped your lips clean. You went back to eating, this time more carefully so you didn't make a mess. You noted the mild spices but didn't comment on them. It was unusual for Bakugo to not fire up his dishes with spice. The decision to make the curry mild definately wasnt for his own benifit. He'd done it for you.

It made you smile, and as much as you wanted to thank him for it you figured he wouldn't want you bringing up his strangely nice gesture since he had been so silent about it.

During the dinner you talked about your new work lives, how you'd been coping living alone, anything that came to mind. Of course, that came with a variety of witty comments and snarky comebacks, but it was just how you liked it. It was how it had always been, how you always wanted it to be.

Once the plates were clean you stood up, reaching over to grab his plate so you could clean up but his hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. You paused, looking up to meet his eyes. "I'll help clean." He said, picking up his plate and taking it to the sink. You smiled, following him with your own plate.

"Wow, cooking and cleaning? Has anyone ever told you that you'd be a perfect house wife?" You smirked at him as he filled up the sink with soap and water.

"At least I can cook." He shot back without missing a beat. You laughed st the remark, nudging his side as you pushed your wasy in front of the sink. You continued to chat as you cleaned up, you washed as he dried.

As you finished up scrubbing the last dish Bakugo made a comment about you eating like a pig at dinner which, in return, made you splashed his face using soapy dish water.

He growled when he felt the droplets soaking his face and hair, but hearing your laughter made it hard to stay his usual, grumpy self. Instead he settled for dipping his fingers into the water and flicking you back.

Your face scrunched up, eyes closing to avoid any soap suds getting in your eyes.

You took his reciprocation as a declaration of war and it soon turned into a mini, kitchen water fight. Laughter filled the once quiet apartment as you fought each other.

For a moment it didn't feel like you lived alone, for the first time in months you felt like that empty space in your life had been filled again.

You had to stop the water fight before you soaked the kitchen as well as each other. As fun as it was you didn't want to have to clean up for the third time today.

Once all the dishes were put away and you dried yoursleved using a spare towel; Bakugo narrowed his eyes at the front door.

He wasn't sure if he should go, a part of him didn't want to. He only came over to make you dinner, now that was over he had no reason to stay. Should he make up some bullshit excuse to stay? He didn't want you teasing him again.

Despite taking a few minutes to think up an excuse to stay, he came up with nothing. Grumbling to himself he kicked his foot against the ground and turned around to you, ready to say goodbye.

His eyes widened upon landing on you, you held up two gaming controllers, a grin on your lips as you pushed one towards him. "Wanna try finally beating me at mario kart?"

"What are you talking about! I win all the time!" He rolled his eyes and snatched a controller from your hands, taking on your challenge. He felt the weight lift from his shoulders, you were giving him a reason to stay longer and he wasn't about to turn that down.

"You beat me at super smash bros! But never mario kart!" You backfired, plopping down onto the couch as the console fired up.

"Then let's play super smash bros!"

"We do not play that in this household!" You stomped your foot at the thought of the game you could never beat him at. Bakugo scoffed and sat next to you. "You're such a fucking sore loser!"

You forced a laugh before sending him a glare, leaning closer to him. You reaction must have amused him as he smirked at you. "I do not want to hear that from you!"

"Shut up and let's play!" The first round started up, the familiar countdown sound ringing in your ears. You'd like to say things started pretty civil, but It didn't take long for you to start shoving each other as you battled for first place. There was a lot of yelling, combined with a lot of laughter and cheering. It was the most lively your apartment had ever felt, in just one night Bakugo was able to change all of that.

A few rounds turned into hours. You didn't even notice how high up the moon was in the sky. You were too busy enjoying each other's company, having more fun than either of you had experienced in months.

You shot out of your seat pumping your fist into the air as you passed the finish line in first place once again.

"HAH! You still can't beat me!” You boasted.

The blond threw the controller down, his teeth clenched tight as he grumbled. “Next time I’m bringing super smash bros!” You sat back down, giggling as you poked his side. “Who's the sore loser now huh? Big baby.” You teased, poking a finger into his side, much like poking a bear with a stick, it was a recipe for disaster.

He growled and jumped to you grabbing your hands to keep them away from prodding him. You started laughing again, squirming and battling with him, determined to keep attacking but your giggle fit made it hard to fight back.

As you were laughing you missed yet another rare smile on his face. He didn't know what was going on with him, maybe he was just in a good mood today? He had taken down a group of robbers earlier when he was on patrol, and taking down villains always felt good.

All he knew was that he never wanted the moment to end, it was nice to hear your stupid laughter again, to see you smiling as you tried to match his strength and fight back. He hadn't even realised that some point during your play fight he had knocked you down onto your back and was hovering over you.

He had always been the stronger of the pair so you lost fairly quickly. His hands pinned yours beside your head. "That was a good fight you put up, but it's still not good enough to match up to me." He smirked down at you

You stuck out her tongue at him, panting as you tried to kick your legs at him. Turns out he had thought ahead and pinned those down too. You huffed through your nose, tasting defeat was bitter.

You stared at each other, as the laughter died down so did the playfulness. The atmosphere became serious. He wasn't sure what it was, but there was some sort of unspoken feeling between you both. He gulped, noting the way your hair was sprawled out on the couch beneath you, creating a halo of hair around your head. Your eyes shone as they stared into his, he had never noticed what a nice colour they were, and your lips- they looked so soft..

There was a pull, an invisible red string tugging you closer to each other and connecting your hearts.

But, you both ignored it. He got off of you and sat back. He ran a hand through his hair, you both avoided eye contact.

Looking out the window Bakugo finally noticed that the moon had long ascended into the night sky. Had he been here that long? God, it must be passed midnight but he felt like he had only been here for an hour. He shook his head and stood up, You watched him with parted lips, your heart racing at the tension.

What was that feeling between you two? It was so strong. Did he feel it too? It was sending your head into a spin.

"I should go." He muttered, he didn't want to go, he really didn't but the words were leaving his mouth before he had time to process them.

He had felt it too, and he didn't know how to react. He hadn't felt anything like it before, it made his heart race, he felt weak and he didn't like it. He knew he felt- something for you? But was it enough to call it love?

You looked up at him, giving him a nod, not like he could see since his back was already turned. You stood up, arms wrapping around yourself as you walked him to the door.

There were so many unspoken words between you. So many feelings left unexpressed. You bit your lip, voice caught in your throat as you watched him silently slip on his shoes. He opened the front door, pausing for a second, hesitating... "See ya."

"Bye." You replied as he closed the door behind him.

The appartment suddenly ran cold, silent, a chill running across your skin. The silence cut through your ears like a sharp blade.

You pulled your arms tighter around yourself. How could you deny it? Having him around again had been amazing, even if just for one afternoon. You despised him as a child, but over time, throughout highschool, through building a silent trust, a friendship had formed, and then-… and then somewhere down the line it turned into more.

No matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, you loved being around him, you had a strong bond, you had watched him grow and become a better person, you had seen each other at your best and at your worst. You had fought each other but also fought with each other. You cared for each other, you annoyed the hell out of each other, you had been through so much together.

He had always been there, even if you didn't want him to be. You had hated him and you had loved him...

You… loved him…

Your eyes widened, "I.. love him." You muttered, saying it out loud made it all the more real. A feeling of wanting to slap yourself silly for being so blind overcame you.

You loved him! Of course you loved him!!You had always been so focused on school and work that you hadn't even noticed you were growing feelings for your childhood rival?

You couldn't let him go again! How many more months until you got to see each other again? You had always somehow ended up stuck together, it felt like he would always be there but now you had witnessed what life was like without him around… you hated it! For the first time in your life, you wanted him around.

You couldn't sit around in your lonely apartment each day now you knew you were in love with that jerk!

"God damnit! Why did it have to be him." You ran to the door and flung it open, not even thinking of shoes as you ran out into the cold night air. "Maybe he didn't get far-"

You rounded the corner before colliding with what you could only assume was a brick wall. You winced, pulling back and rubbing your nose. You looked up, coming face to face with none other than the man himself.

You stared at each other in shock, he came back for you too? This whole scene, these feelings, neither of you could have ever imagined this is where you would've end up.

"I need to tell you something!" You spoke in unison, making you both cringe.

"You first." He crossed his arms stubbornly, wanting to know you were on the same wave as he was and hadn't just ran after him because he left something.

You sighed, rubbing your arm, glancing away for a second to collect yourself. You hadn't thought this far ahead so you had no idea what to say. You sighed, looking up to meet his eyes, the best way would be to face your feelings head on. No going back! Even if he rejects you, at least he would respect you being blunt with it, he hated when people beat around the bush.

"I love you." You said, your head lifted high. His eyes widened at your bold declaration, his tense demeanour dropping. "I wanted to tell you before you disappear for months again. So there you have it, I'm in love with you. Believe me or not I don't care. I just- mmph!" Hands yanked you forward by your hips, smooth lips molded against your own when he head dipped down.

It took a few seconds to reciprocate, but when you did he pulled you closer. Your hands went to his shoulders to steady yourself, your legs felt weak, but that didn't stop you from kissing back.

You smiled into the kiss, you couldn't help it. Not only did the kiss feel great but the way he had pulled you in for it without wasting time with words was just such a Bakugo thing to do.

"I love you too, dumbass." He muttered when he pulled away, You let out a breathy laugh and shook your head. "You have such a way with words~"

"Shut up." You giggled at him before you went back in for another kiss, longer, holding more passion as your years of pent up feelings finally reached the surface. Your heads tilted and turned, hands roaming each other's bodies, his arms wrapped around you, his body heat protecting your bare skin from the chill of the night.

He backed you up agaisnt the wall. His tongue ran across your bottom lip, you weren't sure how long you had been standing there but it felt like you were the only two people in the world.

It was so late not another soul was to be see. It was just you, him and the city lights.

His hand ran down towards your thigh, only for you both to jump back when the distance sound of a car honking ripped through your serentity.

Panting as you stared at each other, almost not believing you had just msde out with each other. You pressed your fingers to your tingling lips. A smile on your face, "So- uh, wanna come inside for a bit?” the mischief in your eyes did not match the innocent smile on your face. He knew exactly what you were planning, "Fuck yes."

And there was no way he was going to turn it down.

[heylookafanfic]

Title: What Could Go Wrong?

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x daughter!Reader, 

brief summary: With your dad, Aaron Hotchner, being the BAU unit chief, he did whatever he could to protect you. When you get invited to a party for the first time, sneaking out doesn’t sound so bad. What could go wrong?

word count: 3,706 words

requested: Nope, original! (send in those requests!) 

warnings: cursing, getting roofied, getting yelled at, predatory men

Your dad, Aaron Hotchner, was extremely protective over you not only because his job can put you and your brother, Jack, in danger but he already lost a family member and refused to lose another. Having an overprotective father meant you had a list of rules.

The door was to remain completely open when your significant other came over and no sitting/laying on the bed

No leaving the house after sundown

You can’t sleep over at anyone's house, they had to sleep over at your house

You have to ask to go somewhere

If your dad wasn’t home and the doorbell rang, you couldn’t answer it

And that is just the surface. You understood why your dad was so strict but you never got to have a life. To make things worse, your friends always post pictures from parties on Instagram and all you could do is sigh and keep scrolling knowing you’ll never get to go to one.

One day, you were in communications class listening to the professor lecturing about the upcoming semester project. Luckily, you got to pick your group for it and when they dismissed the class to find partners, you quickly turned to your best friend,Vanessa.

“I guess we’re partners, huh?” you chuckled

“Of course!” she said

“So, what do you want to make our project about?”

“I have no idea. I barely paid attention this chapter”

“Try to think out of the box a bit. What’s gonna make ours stand out?”

“Since the class is about communications, how about human interaction?”

“What about it?”

“Like how you haven't had any human interaction lately” she said with a smirk

“You know my dads strict. I can’t even breathe without him being on edge” you said

“You need to live a little Y/N. You’re in college and you’re still being treated like a kid.”

“I know, I know but I don’t know how to convince him to let up a bit”

“Here’s the thing, I’m going to a friend's kickback tomorrow night. This is your chance to finally hang out with someone who isn’t me, Jack or your dad ”

“He’s gonna say no regardless even if I tell him that you’re going with me.” you said

“I’m not saying to sneak out but...” she said with a shrug

“You know he has cameras around the entire perimeter of the house, right?”

“Just say you’re sleeping over at my house”

“Can’t do that either, remember? All sleepovers have to happen at my house”

“I understand having to be cautious because your dads in the FBI but doesn’t he realize that you’re in college?”

You thought about it for a second.

“That’s it! How about you sleep over but I’ll say that you forgot your meds. That’ll give us an excuse to leave”

“Won’t he be suspicious though?”

“Probably not. He trusts you out of all of my friends”

“You’ve got a point. What time am I coming over?”

“What time does the kickback start?”

“9 pm”

“Come over at 7. We’ll be finishing up dinner and it’ll give us time to get ready”

“Awesome”

The both of you packed your backpacks and went home. This would be the first time you’d be sneaking out and you were pretty nervous because so many things could go wrong but you’re with your best friend so, what could possibly go wrong?

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*Hotchner Household- The next day*

You were in your room finishing up your psychology homework when your dad called you and Jack down for dinner

“Y/N and Jack, come down for dinner” he yelled from the kitchen

“I’m almost done! Give me two more minutes!” you shouted

“Come down now before it gets cold”

You sighed and closed your laptop. As you were walking out of your room, you saw Jack coming down the hall.

“I’ll race you to the dinner table. Loser has to wash dishes tonight” you challenged

“You’re gonna lose like you did last time” he said

“That’s only because you pushed me, short stuff” you chuckled

“I won fair and square though, didn’t I?”

“Anyway…ready, set, go!”

The both of you raced down the hallway and downstairs. Your dad heard all the stomping and already knew what was up. You lightly pushed Jack and he tumbled towards the couch by the living room. Your dad had his hands out by his sides, waiting to see who would finish 1st. You ran and tagged in, winning.

“You pushed me!” Jack complained

“I won fair and square though, didn’t I?” you chuckled

“Dad, Y/N cheated and they said that I’d have to wash dishes after dinner”

“Karmas a bit-” you were cut off

“Enough you two. Go wash your hands and make your plate” your dad said

*During dinner*

“So, how was everybody’s day?” he asked

“I found out that we’re dissecting a frog in class next week” Jack said

“They still do that?” he asked

“Yeah, everyone in my class thinks it’s cool but I’m not looking forward to it”

“Why is that?”

“Because, it’s gross. I asked if I could do an extra credit project instead but my teacher said no”

“Sorry bud. How about you Y/N? How was your day?”

“It was okay. We were assigned a group project yesterday so Vanessas coming over later to study. Is that cool?”

“Which Vanessa?”

“Dad. You’re kidding, right? The same Vanessa I’ve been best friends with since kindergarten?”

“Oh, her. Yeah, she can come over. What’s your project about?”

“It’s a research slideshow about human interaction”

“If you have time, you should drop by the office and ask your aunts and uncles for help. Especially your uncle Spencer. He’ll tell you everything you need to know; easy A” he said

Suddenly, his phone chimed.

“Work?” you and Jack ask

Your dad shook his head and took one last sip of his drink before getting up from the table. He was running around the house grabbing his go bag and work essentials.

“I don’t know when I’ll be back but if I’m not back later tonight, Y/N you know the drill” he said

“Close and lock all doors and windows, don’t answer the door, Jack is to be in bed by 9:30 and lights out at 11” you recited

“And Jack?”

“No video games or TV until homework is done and Y/N is in charge” he groaned

“Good. Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Vanessa is the only one permitted in the house. Understood?”

“Yes sir”

“Alright, bye! I love you two!” he said

Your dad rushed out the door, hopped in the car and sped off to work. Your dad pretty much being on call can be annoying sometimes because he’s usually away for a few days and misses out on family time. Usually, it’s a bummer but tonight, it was working in your favor.

“Now what?” Jack asked

“How about we finish up dinner and I’ll help you with your homework so you can have the rest of the night to yourself?”

“Sweet!” he responded

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Later that night*

Vanessa had already been at your house for 2 hours and while Jack was getting ready for bed, you were about to leave for the kickback.

“What time did you say your little brother goes to bed?” Vanessa asked

“9:30”

She sighed

“We’re going to be late by then. Can’t we leave earlier?”

“We can’t. If I’m not here to make sure he’s asleep, he’ll be up all night”

“Jacks like what, 10? He’ll be fine. Plus, it’s a Friday night. It’s not like he has school tomorrow.”

You gave it a second thought. Jack is old enough to put himself to bed and the party wasn’t going to be worth going to if you were late.

“Fine. Give me a second and then we can go” you said

You walked down the hall to Jack’s room and knocked.

“Come in” he answered

“Hey bud, are you almost ready for bed?” you asked

“Yeah, I gotta brush my teeth though.”

“Listen, Vanessa and I are going out for a bit tonight. Would you be okay if you were by yourself for a few hours?”

“You can’t leave! Remember what Dad said? ‘No leaving the house after sundown’ ?”

“I know, I know but it’s only for tonight and since Dad’s out at work, I’ll let you stay up and play video games until I get back”

“Won’t we get in trouble? If he finds out, we’re gonna be grounded”

“He won’t find out unless we tell him….which we won’t. Right?”

Jack thought the situation through for a second.

“Right” he said

“Cool. Vanessa and I are leaving in about 5 minutes. Rules still apply to you though. I don’t care who rings the doorbell. If it’s not me or Dad, don’t answer it. Understood?”

“Yeah”

“Alright, all the doors and windows are locked so you’re safe here as long as they stay closed. I’ll be back in a few hours. Love you!” you said

“Love you too!” Jack responded

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*At the kickback*

This was your first time sneaking out of the house and honestly, you didn’t think your plan would work. You thought that by now you’d be at home getting an earful from your dad because you got caught but, what perfect timing?! Your dad getting called into work the same night?! It’s actually kind of funny how things work out. What could go wrong?

You and Vanessa pulled up to the party and parked in the driveway

“You ready Y/N?” she asked

“Yeah. I just can't believe our plan actually worked”

“I know right? You’re old man needs to let you live a little. You deserve to enjoy your youth. Now c’mon”

As you two walk in, loud music blares from the speaker and there’s people everywhere. Beer cans on the floor and furniture, red solo cups spewed about the floor, the smell of weed in the air and you can tell every guy is wearing cheap cologne because of how musky it is. You thought parties like this only existed in movies.

You knew a few people but due to not being the biggest social butterfly, you decided to cling to Vanessa all night.

“Y/N, this is my old theatre buddy, Vaughn. Vaughn, this is my best friend Y/N!”

“Hey, nice to meet you!” he welcomed

“Nice to meet you too!”

“Vanessas told me all about you”

“She has?”

“Yeah! Best friends since kindergarten?! You two go way back”

“Definitely!”

“This is actually Y/N’s first kickback!” Vanessa chimed in

“Your first? You’ve never been to a party?”

“Not really, my dad’s very overprotective so I never get the chance to really hang out”

“What changed his mind?”

“Actually, he’s out of town at the moment so, he doesn’t even know”

“Ahhh, sneaky you!” he chuckled

“Hey, I’m gonna go get a drink really quick. You guys want anything?” Vanessa asked

“I’m good but thanks” you said

“I’ll go with you” Vaughn said

“Y/N, I’ll be right back but in the meanwhile, go get out of your comfort zone a bit” she said

“Nice meeting you….”

“Y/N” you said

“Y/N! Right. I’ll see you later” Vaughn said

Vanessa and Vaughn made off into the kitchen and that left you to your own devices. You still weren’t comfortable enough to go and be social so you made your way to the couch. Luckily, you spotted the host’s dog and whistled at it. It trotted over to you and jumped up into your lap. This would be your comfort zone for the rest of the night.

*An hour later*

The host's dog had surprisingly fallen asleep while you scrolled through your phone. You weren’t gonna lie. You were sort of envious that it could sleep through all the noise. As you continued scrolling you noticed someone heading your way.

“Is anyone sitting here?” a voice asked

You looked up to see a tall figure with broad shoulders.

“Uh, no. You’re good to sit”

“Thanks” he said

You resumed scrolling on your phone

“Nice dog” he said making small talk

“I’d say thanks but it’s not mine. It just curled up next to me and fell asleep” you spoke

“With all this noise?”

“Exactly what I’m saying!” you chuckled

“I’d kill to be a heavy sleeper” he said

“If only, right?!”

You two sat in silence for a second

“I’m Brady”

“Y/N”

“Nice to meet you. So, how’d you find out about the kickback?”

“My friend is friends with the host so she invited me”

“That’s a good friend!”

“Yeah, this is my first party actually”

“Really? How?”

“Overprotective parent”

“Ah, I know your struggle. Well, if you don’t mind, how ‘bout we drink to that?”

“Uh- okay. Thanks!”

“What’s your poison?” he asked

“I’ll take a beer please”

“A beer? Ooh, so you like to play it safe huh? I’ll be right back”

Brady got up and walked into the kitchen. You were actually excited because not only is this your first party but someone came up to you instead of the other way around.

“There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” a voice said

You turned your head and it was Vanessa

“What took you so long?”

“I was getting a drink, remember?”

“It took you a whole hour, 60 MINUTES, to get a drink and find me?!” you joked

“This place is huge”

“It’s a condo ‘Nessa”

“Anyway, you’ve been sitting by yourself this whole time? I thought I told you to go and socialize!”

“I did! I met this guy, Brady, and he’s getting us drinks”

“Oooo! I know you had a little game in that beautiful brain somewhere. Well, let me go before I ruin your moment. I’ll be in the living room if you need me” she said

Vanessa ran off again. Just as she left, Brady came back with drinks.

“Una cerveza for the party virgin” he said

“What?” you chuckled

“One beer like you asked” he chuckled

“Oh, thank you!”

“To your first party and to many more” he toasted

You two clanked your cups together and took a swig

“For someone who seems to be so sheltered, you sure downed it with no problem” he said

“Well, my Uncle Dave is italian so everytime we go to his house, he cohearses my dad into letting me have a little wine. He says the drinking age in Italy is 16 so, why not?” you chuckled

“Lemme guess, he’s the crazy relative in the family?”

“No, that’d be my aunt Penelope but he’s a close second”

The two of you talked about family, your dream career and your taste in music for about an hour. You were starting to think that maybe it was a good idea to sneak out. You would have never met Brady and the more you found out about him, the more you started catching feelings for him. Or maybe that was the beer talking. Speaking of beer, you were starting to think that that beer didn’t sit right with you. You started feeling dizzy and sick to your stomach.

“Hey Brady, I gotta go talk to my friend really quick but I promise I’ll be right back”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m just not feeling the best”

“Do you want some water?” he asked

“I’m fine. I need to find Vanessa though”

You stood up and immediately sat back down

“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want to lay down?” he asked

“I’m fine” you said

You didn’t notice but you started slurring your words. Things were going downhill and fast. Brady didn’t….no, he couldn’t have. Things were going so well with him and you thought you could trust him. He couldn’t have possibly done that to you. You couldn’t yell for Vanessa over the loud music let alone stand up without falling over. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t good at all.

“Come on. I’ll take you to one of the bedrooms and you can lay down there until you feel better” Brady said

Fuck. You knew what you wanted to say but you couldn’t speak without slurring your words. Everything you said came out as incoherent. Brady stood up and helped you stand up, using him as a support. He started walking you towards the back until you felt a hand yank your hand

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” a voice yelled

Vanessa. Wait.. the voice was masculine.

Vaughn.

“I’m just helping them lay down. They’re tired” Brady said

“Leave them the fuck alone” Vaughn said sternly

“Mind your business dude” Brady retorted

“I know them so it is my business. I’m not going to tell you again. Leave them the fuck alone”

Brady dropped you but Vaughn quickly caught the rest of your body.

“Have fun with them, douchebag” Brady stormed off

Vaughn fireman carried you into the living room and sat you down

“Hey Y/N. It’s Vaughn. Are you okay?” he asked caringly

“Mmmrrmgh” you slurred

Shit.

“I’m gonna get Vanessa. I promise I’ll be right back, okay?” he said

Your head lulled around and you couldn’t move your limbs. All your energy was draining. This made him panic. As he tried to get you to squeeze his hand to get a response out of you, everything faded to black.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*45 minutes later*

You woke up but everything was blurry and everything sounded muffled. You were laying down but your sickness was worse because you were being jostled around.

“There they are. Hey sweetheart. Sir-” a voice said

You looked up and saw a dark figure. Your head was on someone's lap.

“Y/N? Come on sweetheart, keep your eyes open for me” the voice said

You took a few shallow breaths before attempting to sit up

“No no, stay still, okay?”

That voice was way too familiar and it made you feel at ease. There was only one person that could clear the clouds out on a rainy day with just their voice

“Aunt Penelope?” you softly spoke

“At your service!” she said

“Y/N?” another voice said

“Dad” you cried

“How’re they doing?”

“They opened their eyes a bit and heart rate is still pretty high but they’re stable” Penelope sighed with relief

“Dad? What’s happening?”

“Y/N? Can you hear me?”

You nodded your head.

“That’s an affirmative” Penelope relayed

”Listen, we’re heading to the hospital right now. You were drugged and you stopped breathing. We’re almost there so just hold on for me, okay?” he said

His voice was borderline quivering. He was scared but wanted to stay strong for you and the team. He already lost Hailey and lord forbid he was going to lose you too

Penelope rolled the window down a bit  so you could get some air but right before she could touch the button, your eyes closed again.

“Sir-”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*At the hospital*

You opened your eyes and saw a handful of blobs that got clearer as your eyes adjusted to the light.

“There they are!” said Rossi

“It’s about time” said JJ

“You were scared us for a second there, kid” said Morgan

Your whole family was there, excited for you to finally pull through

“Y/N!” Jack said excited

He hugged you and you had no choice but to hug him tighter. On any other day you’d be wrestling him for the remote but considering what happened to you tonight, you needed a hug from him

“For the record, I didn’t tell dad” he stated

Everyone laughed

“I got you lavender and chamomile tea, your favorite” Reid said popping his head in

“Uncle Spence!” you said

As you grabbed your tea, you saw your dad out the corner of your eye. Uh oh.

“Can we have a moment, please?” your dad asked

Everyone filed out and the door closed. He walked over to the blinds to close them.

“How’d you find out?” you softly asked

“Vanessa called me practically screaming that you were dead! You’re lucky that the case we’re working is local! What were you thinking?! You lied to me, waited until I left the house to sneak out to a party and thought ‘what could go wrong?’ ?!” he raised his voice

“Dad, I’m-”

“What? You’re sorry?! Y/N, before we got there, you died in Vanessa’s arms! How do you think I felt? I couldn’t get to you fast enough. I had to push my way through a bunch of teens just to find my kid dead”

“What do you want me to say dad? I’m sorry that you’re still dealing with trauma from mom dying, so much so that you’ve become a helicopter parent over Jack and I? If that’s what you’re looking for, it’s not my fault that she’s dead. ”

The room went so silent you could hear a pin drop.

“I didn’t mean-”

“I know”

Your dad started tearing up

“When I saw your body laying there, all I could see is your mom all over again. I was afraid that I’d have to tell Jack that his only sibling is gone, plan another funeral, and spend a lifetime beating myself up for not being there quick enough.”

“Dad, it wasn’t your fault though. It’s Foyet’s. He’s long gone now and you did what you could. This? This was my fault. I never should have snuck out. I never should have lied to you. Had I listened, none of this would have happened”

“None of this is your fault. It’s whoever did this to you’s fault.  The sneaking out part, I would have found out eventually and you would’ve been grounded until eternity but to find out this way? I could care less about punishment right now, all I care about is that the Hotchner kids are safe. The BAU might be my job but being a dad comes before anything”

He hugged you and squeezed you tightly.

“I love you more than you’ll ever know Y/N. Don’t you ever scare me like that again”

“Yes sir and I love you too”

A knock came from the door before being slightly opened

“Garcia wanted me to let you know that Quantico PD has the perp in custody and he’s being processed at the station” Prentiss softly said

“You hear that?” your dad said

You smiled

“I get to have a field day with him tomorrow. He has no idea what he has coming to him”

[fellintotartarus]

my brown-haired boy (3)

Summary: Reader has to navigate the difficult reality of having a crush on Spencer and trying to raise a kid with him. 6.5k words

A/N: This is it! Thank you so much for the support on the previous 2 parts and I really hope you guys enjoy this last part.

Warnings: explicit discussions of sex, angst, curse words, alcohol consumption.

part 1 | part 2 

-

The first time Spencer asked you if Max could stay with him for the weekend, you nearly passed out on the spot.

“Y/N?” Spencer asked.

You blinked. There was no reason for him not to be able to, right? So why the hell did it make you so nervous?

“Um… yes,” you said hesitantly.

Spencer eyed you warily.

“Are you sure?”

You exhaled sharply, nodded, and said, “Yes.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up and he thanked you before running off somewhere, presumably to gush to someone or make plans.

It was November, four months since Spencer had met Max. They took to each other impossibly, Max always asking after Spencer and vice versa. On more than one occasion, you’d had to call Spencer over in the middle of the night to calm Max after a nightmare.

And then there was the issue of the palpable tension between the two of you. Nothing could just be what it was. Every phone call had to end with a longing sigh, every glance with a burning passion. You found your gaze lingering on his lithe arms when his sleeves were rolled up, on his jawline as he examined a crime board, on his hands (god, his hands) as they flicked over a page.

It had bled obviously into your work life, too, where, entirely too often, you had to be snapped out of a stupor by one of the girls.

You hadn’t told anyone, though. Your first and foremost responsibility was to Max, and you hardly wanted anyone thinking that you were going to jeopardize that. 

Right now though, it was Thursday and you were wrapping up a case in Grand Rapids and you desperately wanted to be home with your son, who you had incidentally just handed over to his father.

The team had taken the news in stride. It was still incredibly strange to them (justifiably so, honestly), so they tended to avoid the topic so as to not accidentally bring up anything sensitive. This mistake had already been made once (your cheeks burned at the memory of Derek asking why you and Spencer showed up to work together so often) and everyone was quick to learn from that experience.

Your phone rang and you looked down to see your mother’s contact light up the screen. You excused yourself from the conference room and quickly answered.

“Hey, mom.”

“Hi, darling. Max wants to say goodnight,” she said, sighing and sounding slightly apologetic.

“No worries, mom, we’re in a lull anyways. Put him on, would you?” you appeased her.

“Mommy!” came a shrill squeal from the line.

“Hi, mouse,” you lilted. “Goodnight, baby. Sleep tight. I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Is daddy there?” Max asked impatiently.

“I- yes. He’s right here,” you said, slightly taken aback, and walked back into the conference room. You walked up to Spencer and unceremoniously handed him the phone, shrugging when he looked at you inquisitively. He stood up and started out of the room, putting the phone up to his ear as he walked.

JJ glanced over at you and said, “What was that about?”

You frowned. “He didn’t even say anything, just ‘Is daddy there?’” You ripped at the corner of the page in the case files you were working on. JJ smiled sympathetically. “Henry went through the same thing. Honestly, he still prefers one of us on and off.”

You shook your head. “But I--” you sighed. “I don’t know.”

Spencer came back into the room a few minutes later, smiling apologetically and handing you back your phone

“What was that about?” you asked, trying to sound casual.

Spencer laughed softly. “He just wanted to tell me about that thing that happened at school.”

You looked at him expectantly. “Wh- well, what happened?” you asked.

Spencer looked at you confusedly and said, “He didn’t--” but he was interrupted by Hotch, who came in with a new directive in the case.

You were visibly sullen the rest of the day. JJ assured you it was normal, but you couldn’t help but think that Max was taking to Spencer more than he ever liked you.

You were short with Spencer, too, even though you knew it was through no fault of his own that Max asked for him instead of you.

Sensing your worry, Hotch came up next to you at the precinct’s coffee machine.

“It’s just because he sees Reid as more of a friend than anything. Trust me, as soon as he has to tell him to go to bed or eat his vegetables, you’ll have equal footing again,” he said with a small smile.

You reciprocated, nodding your head with a small, “Thanks,” desperately hoping he was right.

The case wrapped up rather quickly, and you found yourself avoiding Spencer on the jet home the next day. You could feel his eyes burning into the back of your neck and could see JJ, who sat across from you, exchanging nervous looks with him over your shoulder.

“Hey,” you interrupted her conspicuous staring contest. “Spence has Max for the weekend. Girls’ night?”

JJ’s eyes lit up (and you only later thought to realize it had been completely mischievous) and smiled. 

“Sounds amazing.”

You grinned in response and your phone dinged.

Pen Garcia

Did someone say girls’ night at Y/N’s?!!

You stared at your phone, mouth agape.

Pen Garcia

I have an alert system any time anyone on the plane says girls’ night.

You blinked in disbelief.

“So it seems that Pen spies on us and is overwhelmingly ready for girls’ night.”

JJ nodded. “Oh yeah, that old thing. It scared the shit out of me the first time.”

You laughed, “You can say that again.”

The plane landed sooner than you would have liked, and you turned to Spencer as you were both getting off the jet and said curtly, “I’ll drop him off at six.”

His eyes caught yours and for a second you completely forgot you were feeling resentful toward him.

You hated it. It was like time froze and the only thing you could think of or focus on was him. It was pretty easily tunnel vision, and every time, your breath caught in your throat and your cheeks heated to an impossible pink. Each time, it became somehow easier and harder to snap out of it. The better you got at it, the less you wanted to. You tore your gaze from his and walked side by side back into headquarters.

Spencer looked slightly concerned for you. He walked a little faster to be slightly ahead of you and turned his head a little, the expression on his face clearly asking if you were okay.

You nodded softly, pulling him to the side. “Six, okay? And Spencer, you’re his dad. This can’t just be a fun sleepover.”

Spencer looked slightly confused, but agreed. “Y/N, I know that. Don’t worry.”

You smiled and thanked him before walking off to your car and driving home. 

As soon as you put your key in the lock, you heard the little footsteps thundering toward the door. You managed to catch your son in a hug while kicking the door shut behind you.

“Hi, mouse!” you smiled and kissed his chubby cheek. “You’re gonna spend the weekend at Daddy’s. Does that sound okay?”

To say Max’s face lit up would be an understatement. He squealed excitedly, jumped up and down, and said, “Yeaaahhh!” in a way only a 5 year old could.

You giggled, said, “Okay, mouse, go get your toys packed up,” and walked over to the dresser in his room to pack a weekend bag.

You sighed, thinking of the way Max was clearly more excited to spend time with Spencer than with you. You thought of what JJ said, that Henry went through it, too. You hated to think it, but it was different. Henry grew up with both Will and JJ. You were Max’s only parent up until 4 months ago, you had raised him by yourself, and it was so painful to see someone who only showed up those 4 months ago take over your son’s life so easily.

You mentally scolded yourself. There was quite literally no way Spencer would have gotten involved sooner. Not only that, but you were the one who decided to involve him in the first place. You couldn’t think like this.

But everything about Spencer was infuriating. He was absolutely perfect around your kid, he was devastatingly attractive, and he didn’t fucking know it. He still acted as though Max wasn’t completely infatuated with him, he licked his lips and scrunched his eyebrows with such little care it almost seemed on purpose, and you were sick of it. You wanted to be able to make it through a day without having to exist so consciously around him, where you could just breathe and stop worrying about him being right there.

You shut the dresser just a little too harshly, snapping you out of your conflicting mess of festering emotions. Sighing, you finished packing Max’s things and led him to the car.

Spencer, for some god-awful reason, lived in DC proper, making your drive to his house overwhelmingly unbearable. The drive wasn’t long, but the traffic was awful and you wanted to poke your eyes out by the time you pulled up to his apartment.

Getting Max out of his booster seat and walking him up the stairs, you said, “Alright, Max, I’ll pick you up on Sunday, okay?”

Spencer was waiting at the open door and Max ran to him. You were suddenly choked up, feeling like the day a few months prior when you left Max at school for the first time.

After Spencer finished greeting Max and managed to pry him off of his legs, he said, “Say goodbye to Mommy, Maxie,” seeming almost worried that Max wouldn’t be enthusiastic about it.

Thankfully, however, Max walked over to you and gave you a squeeze and kiss on the cheek before saying, “Bye, mommy!”

“Bye, baby,” you said, breathing a sigh of relief. You nodded goodbye to Spencer before heading back down the stairs.

On your way back home, you sent a text to the girls’ night group that Pen added you to the day you started at the BAU.

You

Mine at 9?

You received affirmative texts from all the women before you even pulled into your driveway.

The next two hours were filled with tidying (your mom, like a saint, did a lot of the cleaning when she stayed, so all that was left to you was picking up and wiping down the occasional counter), picking up an exorbitant amount of booze, and, even though you were staying in, picking out an outfit that didn’t scream I’ve been a single mom for five years.

You let yourself dwell on your perpetual problem longer than you probably should have. Every time you thought of Spencer, your heart hurt. You didn’t know why you couldn’t just put these feelings aside and let it be a normal co-parenting/coworker relationship (as if there was such a thing). 

You were snapped out of your thoughts (that seemed to happen quite a bit these days) by excited knocks at your door.

You put on your best face and opened the door to the three women standing on your front porch. Upon seeing you, all three of them cheered and pushed their way into your house.

“I have the movie picked. Tonight we will be watching After because it is the worst movie ever created based on the worst book ever written based on the most popular One Direction fanfiction ever, and I will have you know that I kept up with that fanfiction while it was being released and the movie does it zero justice,” Penelope said in one breath. “Not that there was any justice for it to be given in the first place,” she shrugged.

The other three of you were nearly in tears as she rambled, already indoctrinated on her severe opinions on the movie/book/fanfiction.

After one shot and one drink each, you hit play on the movie and let it play in the background. 

“You know, Pen, I still remember in high school when you got caught writing lesbian Harry Potter smut on a library computer,” you said, inhibitions obviously already lowered.

Emily’s mouth fell completely open. “Penelope… please tell me this is true.”

Penelope looked completely betrayed, cheeks red and eyes wide. “Y/N, high school is off the table. Or did you want me to tell them about that one time I found you with your hand down your pants with a copy of Twilight?”

Screeching laughter echoed throughout the small house while your face burned red and you slapped a hand over Penelope’s mouth.

“Truce, okay, truce!” you yelled over the noise, laughing yourself and trying to calm everyone down.

After a few more drinks that left you all pretty incapacitated, the conversation strayed naturally to your sex lives. Because that was something you had as a single mother of a five-year-old.

JJ began, “Hottest sex Will and I ever had was at this fancy hotel room in New York before we had Henry. I tied him up and--”

Emily interrupted, “Woah, okay, that’s definitely enough detail.”

“Well, what about you?” Penelope said, poking Emily in the cheek.

Emily leaned back into the cushions and stared at the ceiling before saying, “It was with this girl back in the Academy. We were new recruits, so there was just something so hot and new and fun about handcuffs. Honestly nothing has topped that feeling since. I mean, there’s been better sex, sure, but nothing as all around good as that.”

Penelope went next. “I’m honestly surprised Kevin and I dated as long as we did, because the sex, even if it was adventurous, was wildly mediocre. Just aggressively okay. But the best sex would probably have to be with this old hacker I worked with. He was so rough and somehow caring at the same time? Anyways, him.”

Everyone looked at you expectantly and suddenly you could vividly feel every drop of alcohol in your system. The ceiling spun dangerously and you felt yourself opening your mouth and speaking before you could stop yourself.

“He soft dommed me. Told me shit like ‘good girl’ and ‘you take it so nice’ and held his hand around my throat and made me finish like four times. It was ridiculously good.” you sighed, only barely registering that you told them more about their coworker of several years than they would want to know.

Penelope said, “Oh god, that sounds nice.”

You sighed. “It was so nice. Haven’t had any since, though.”

“And what was the context of this?” Emily said, surprisingly coherent for the number of drinks she had.

“Oh, it was the one-night stand with Spence in Vegas,” you said as if they should have known.

SIlence. And then, “Oh, I take it back. I take it back,” from Pen.

Emily sat straight up. “Wait, you’re telling me Spencer, our Spencer, is a dom?”

You shrugged, nonplussed. “Maybe not as a rule, but for sure that night.”

JJ held her hand up to stop any more conversation. “No. I am done with this conversation. That man is my little brother and I cannot hear this.”

“Agreed,” from Penelope.

“Whatever. It’s not like I told you guys I accidentally maybe fell in love with him,” you chuckled, almost to yourself.

The air in the room sobered quickly.

Pen scooted over to you. “Baby. What?”

You looked over at her. “Oh, it’s not like it’s a big deal. He likes me back. We kissed. Once--” you held up one finger emphatically as if to prove your point (god you were drunk). “Only once. And it was just to get it out, you know? ‘Cause we can’t get involved like that. Not with Max.”

You giggled. “And it only hurts a little, right? Because Max likes him better than me now, but I raised Max by myself for five years and I think I deserve a little more credit than that! So Spencer is all of the sudden this perfect dad but there’s so much tension and I don’t know how much more I can take.”

A few tears slipped down your eyes and you broke into sniffles, all three of the girls quickly shuffling next to you and taking you in their arms. You leaned into Penelope’s ample chest and looked up at her through tears.

“Pen, these make a fantastic pillow.”

All of you laughed a little before JJ spoke. “Y/N, I know you think you’re doing right by Max by not being with Spencer. I know it. But, babes, if you let this tension continue, nothing good will come of it.”

Emily nodded. “I know both of you well enough to say that even if a relationship failed, you two are way too invested in Max to let anything come between that.”

You shook your head. “I know you guys just want me to be happy. But growing up without a dad sucks. And I don't want to put Max at the tiniest risk he could lose that now that he has it.”

At that moment, someone on screen said something incredibly stupid and the three of you burst into hesitant giggles, lightening the mood ever so slightly.

JJ pulled you up and said, “Come on, let’s get you ready for bed,” to which you nodded and smiled lazily.

“Thank you,” you whispered, nuzzling into her. She pulled the sheets back and wrestled you out of your pants before tipping you unceremoniously into your bed.

“Oh, Y/N. Thank me when this is resolved.” she sighed, pulling the sheets up to your chin as you fell asleep.

-

Sunday, you overslept and were in a massive rush to get Max from Spencer’s on time. You barely had time to shove a piece of toast in your mouth before jumping in your car and taking off nearly an hour behind schedule.

By the time you parked at Spencer’s apartment, it was definitely an hour past when you were supposed to pick him up.

You practically sprinted up the stairs and knocked frantically at his door.

As soon as the door opened, you pushed in, explaining yourself at the speed of light.

“I’m so sorry, Spencer, I slept in and lost track of time--”

“Woah, Y/N,” Spencer interrupted, grabbing your hand. “Have you checked your phone? Your mom came and got him to take him to the zoo.”

You gasped. “Oh my god I forgot about that. She texted me last night right before I passed out and--”

“Y/N, don’t worry about it. Seriously.” Spencer assuaged you.

You nodded, taking a breath, and noticed your hand in his. You felt your nerves come to life, every single groove of his hand being mapped by yours. You gulped, your eyes flicking up to his.

The air in the room was incredibly thick, and you could almost feel his pulse. God, it was ridiculous how much tension there was. It seemed like something straight out of a romance novel or--

His eyes dropped to your lips and your breath hitched. You felt your eyes fluttering closed and his breath ghosting your face before you pulled away suddenly.

“Spencer,” you whispered, tears playing at the corner of your eyes. “You know we can’t.”

His forehead dropped to yours and he closed his eyes, sighing. “I know.”

“There’s no good solution here, is there?” you asked.

Spencer chuckled emptily. “I don’t suppose there is.”

You pulled away slowly and completely, smiling softly, not really meaning it, and stepped out the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said.

“See you tomorrow,” he replied.

-

And that’s how you ended up with JJ on your couch, the both of you sharing an obscenely large tub of ice cream.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore,” you sighed dejectedly.

JJ stabbed her spoon into the ice cream and left it there, taking your face in her hands and saying, “Y/N, it’s not healthy for anyone in this situation to keep repressing these feelings. You’re both too professional and respectful to let anything get in the way of Max.”

“I don’t understand why I can’t just let it go! It’s just a stupid crush and I’m letting get in the way of everything!” you ranted, letting out an exasperated groan.

JJ rubbed your back and said, “You know it’s more than that, Y/N. And that kind of thing is not something you just get rid of.”

“Just tell me what to do, Jayje,” you whined.

She chuckled. “Y/N, you know what I think you should do. But if you’re serious about getting over it, you have to stop acting like there’s something there. Stop putting yourself in situations that perpetuate your feelings.”

You responded by groaning again, this time into a pillow.

“Why does this have to be so hard?” you asked softly, turning your head over to JJ.

She just gave you a sympathetic look in return, saying “I know, babe,” and continuing to rub your back.

-

True to JJ’s advice, you stopped avoiding Spencer like there was anything wrong. Hotch had been right about Max equalizing once he realized Spencer was not just a friend, so at least you didn’t have to worry about that anymore. It was hard, but you managed to stop catching Spencer’s eye illicitly, the lingering touches and gazes.

If you were honest, it made it entirely worse than before. You felt like you were living a lie, especially since Spencer practically looked like a kicked puppy at the realization that you were detaching yourself.

You came up to him in the office one early December afternoon and said, “We should start planning Max’s birthday party.”

Spencer looked up at you. “Oh, there’s a ‘we’ now, is there?”

You looked at him confusedly. “Spencer, what the hell are you talking about?”

He pulled you into the copy room and flicked the lock. “So I’m just Max’s dad now, huh? Nothing else?” he said, coming dangerously close to you.

You squared up against him and said, “Spencer, nothing can happen between us and it would be stupid to keep up the Pride and Prejudice-style longing! It was a one-night stand and we are coworkers,” you nearly yelled. “Or have you forgotten the FBI fraternization rules, SSA Dr. Reid?”

“I’m not the one who shamelessly leaned in for a kiss three separate times, now was I?” he responded, just as harsh.

“That was both of us and you know it, Dr. Reid.” you said, your voice low.

“You’re punishing me for something that isn’t even remotely my fault! If you hadn’t begged a stranger to sleep with you, we wouldn’t be in this situation!” Spencer yelled.

“So now we’re playing the slut card, huh? Are you really suggesting my son is causing the problems right now? Let’s get one thing straight, Spencer if I hadn’t begged you to sleep with me you wouldn’t have a son. You wouldn't have the son that I raised for five years by myself! You don’t get to act like a bitch baby just because you can’t get in my pants again.” you snarled.

“You know that’s not what’s happening here. And you can hardly pin the blame on me, Y/N, you know full well there was no way of us getting in touch!”

“It was a mistake involving you in this.”

“It was a mistake fucking you!”

“How dare you fucking say that? You know what that means. You can’t get involved in my kid’s life for 4 months and then decide you don’t want anything to do with us! Fuck, you, Reid, fuck you.” You stalked out of the copy room, face stony, and sat at your desk, not noticing every single pair of eyes in the bullpen trained on you.

Your phone buzzed. 

Pen Garcia

Y/N, I heard that all the way from the hallway.

Pen Garcia

Do you want to grab lunch and talk about it?

You sighed, looking around the room and seeing how everyone was purposefully avoiding your gaze. You were too numb to even cry. Every single moment you had at the BAU had been tied to Spencer and Max and it had culminated to this one awful tipping point.

You quickly scratched out a note to Spencer (look I’m not going to stop you from seeing Max but it doesn’t sound like something you want anymore. text pen if you want to help with the party. don’t talk to me unless it’s about work or Max.) and left it at his desk.

You walked up the stairs to Hotch’s office and poked your head in. He seemed to be waiting for you.

“That sounded bad.”

You sighed. “Yeah. I don’t know. I expected too much of him, I guess.”

You paused and looked at Hotch. He seemed sympathetic (or as sympathetic as he was allowed to be toward a subordinate that just disrupted the entire floor).

Finally he spoke up. “Why don’t you head out for the rest of the day?”

You swallowed and nodded. “Thanks, Hotch.”

You to Pen Garcia

Please.

-

The next week passed very uncomfortably. You and Spencer were just civil enough at work to not need a reprimand, but not enough that you didn’t make everyone aware that you two were very much still at odds.

He picked up Max for the odd sleepover with minimal interaction and Max could tell something was wrong. He didn’t say anything, but every time you or he brought up Daddy, the tightness in your face and voice was a dead giveaway, even for a five-year-old.

Everyone on the team tried multiple times to get you guys to make up, but there wasn’t even enough passion in the animosity. You would just stare at him and walk off.

It was fucking awful. Just when you were getting used to having someone around--someone in any capacity--he fucking ruined it. Sometimes, when you were trying to fall asleep, you’d lay in your bed and replay his words in your head.

It was a mistake fucking you.

You’d let the tears roll down your temples into your hair and ears as you imagined a world in which you hadn’t done just that. You imagined a world in which you were new to the BAU, no baggage, no complications, just your outstanding application and a new job. You imagined a world in which Spencer wasn’t this person ridden with so many memories and unfortunate connections. 

But, god, for him to say that knowing that meant Max not existing? That’s where you took issue. You desperately wanted to move on and forget about it but that was proving impossible. Everything reminded you of him and what happened. But the worst part was that you still had feelings for him.

Before, you would glance at him and feel wistful, thinking of what could be but what couldn’t be. Now, it felt like someone twisting a knife in you. You’d see him, you’d wake up in the morning and think of him, and for a glorious second, it was all pure. A simple crush. Then it came crashing down. The things he said, the way he acted around you, and you would just collapse inside.

Spencer had come up to you a few times, but you were unclear on his intentions. For a second, it seemed like he was going to let you have it again, but then he’d see your face and his expression would soften and he’d walk away.

On more than one occasion, you had seen or overheard another member of the team going in on him. Apparently the contents of the argument were well known because you had yelled so loud. They all seemed to passively side with you, which meant Spencer must have really fucked up because they had known him for years and you for months. Derek pulled him aside and told him he was way out of line, Hotch demanded he make amends, and Emily just glared.

You took only a small comfort in the fact that the team had your back, because that didn’t change the fact that you and Spencer were not speaking. The day of Max’s party was quickly approaching and you were already exhausted thinking of all the pretending you would have to do. Your mom knew very little as to why things were tense and knew not to ask. It seemed that problems with baby daddies ran in the family now.

Max’s birthday was December 9th and the day you finally broke was December 7th.

The team was in the conference room working on a group consult. Preliminary deductions were made, leaving everyone in silence, glancing over the case files for more information. You glanced up a few seats over to see Spencer looking at you with so much emotion. You couldn’t place it, but you had absolutely had it.

“Dr. Reid, do you need me to transfer? Because I can’t do this anymore and I’m begging you to stop being such a fucking ass,” you seethed quietly, just loud enough for everyone else in the room to hear.

Hotch started to object, but you felt the tears welling in your eyes, so you calmly pushed away from the table and excused yourself to the bathroom, Penelope following closely behind you.

As soon as you pushed the door open, a sob escaped your throat, echoing throughout the bathroom. Penelope quickly pulled you in her arms as you broke down into tears.

“I just don’t know what to do, Pen, I can’t take this anymore,” you gasped through sobs.

Penelope, being the empath she was, cried with you, holding you close and rubbing your back. “Baby, I know. I know it’s hard. But believe me, you’re so strong. You’re the one that had a kid by yourself at 23 and you’re right, Spencer is a complete ass right now. It’s not your fault, baby, it really isn’t.”

“What am I supposed to do? This is my dream job, Pen, it would kill me to transfer but I just can’t take this anymore. And even if I transfer, I can’t just keep him from Max, Max loves him so much,” you cried. “Please, Penelope. I don’t know what to do.”

A knock on the door rang out.

“Y/N? Are you in there?” It was Spencer’s voice.

Penelope looked down at you in her arms. “Do you want to talk to him?”

You sniffed, collecting yourself slightly before nodding. “Yeah. I’d better.”

Penelope smiled softly. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

You gave her a watery smile in return. “The bathroom?”

“You underestimate my resolve,” she responded.

You shook your head affectionately, walking slowly toward the door. “I could never, Pen.”

You pulled the door open to see a fraught Spencer on the other side. He looked genuinely worried and upset, which caught you slightly off guard. He nodded toward the now empty conference room and turned to start in that direction. You followed closely behind him.

Once inside, he turned to face you again. “Y/N I’m so sorry.”

You waited for him to continue.

“I’ve never regretted anything more. I shouldn’t have said what I said, it was so… wrong of me. There’s no way on Earth I could ever regret Max, ever, Y/N, you have to understand that. I majorly crossed a line. There is literally no excuse for what I said,” he rambled, quiet tears slipping down his cheeks as he talked.

“Spencer. I can’t just forget it.” you whispered. “If this is what it’s going to be like every time we fight, I’m not going to be able to handle it. I care about you a lot and it hurts too much.”

You sat in one of the numerous chairs and continued, “And I was mean, too, Spencer. I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry. It wasn’t a mistake involving you. It was just a mistake ignoring these feelings and pretending they would go away. And then acting like children about it,” you added, chuckling dryly. 

Spencer was quiet for a moment, taking a seat next to you. “I really want to make this work. Us,” he said, taking your hand. “This week has been hell, Y/N.”

“It has, hasn’t it,” you replied.

“Spencer, promise me, promise me that we won’t keep stuff from each other and let things explode like this. We’re in each other’s lives for good now, whether we like it or not.” you said firmly.

“Never again,” Spencer smiled.

-

The day of Max’s party rolled around and you were awoken by a very rambunctious (now) six-year-old practically jumping on your ribs.

“Oh, god, mouse,” you groaned. “Stop that, you’re hurting me.”

Max was very quick to settle after you spoke and he nuzzled in next to you and said, “Sorry, mommy, I’m just so excited!”

You laughed, still blinking sleep out of your eyes. “Happy birthday, mouse.”

Max shot up and said, “Thank you!” before getting up and running god knows where.

The rest of the morning was filled with preparations. Penelope came over with Derek and a full car, but wouldn’t let you outside to see anything she had brought. 

Derek greeted you with a hug. “How’re you doing?”

You beamed. “A lot better.”

And it was true. You and Spencer spent the rest of the afternoon (or, really, as much as you could of it) talking. It was productive and you were genuinely hopeful. You started to think that maybe a relationship wouldn’t be as damaging as you had made it out to be.

Derek smiled and said, “Glad to hear it, Y/N.”

While Derek and Penelope set up in the backyard, you got Max ready for his party. He insisted on wearing all his favorite clothes that he had worn earlier in the week, so you had to do a load of laundry so he could wear them.

Max came meandering into the laundry room while you were putting the wet clothes in the dryer.

“Are you still mad at daddy?” he asked.

You turned to him, alarmed. “What makes you think I was mad at daddy?”

Max shrugged. “I don’t know. It was obvious.”

You sighed, contemplating what to say.

“Daddy and I had a fight, mouse. And I was mad at him for a little while, but we talked about it and apologized to each other, which is what you do when you hurt someone’s feelings, right?”

Max nodded.

“Well, we apologized to each other and now we aren’t mad at each other anymore,” you said, tossing the last of the clothes into the dryer.

“Yay!” Max exclaimed. “So you’re kissing now?”

“Wh- What?” you asked, extremely startled by the question.

“Mommies and daddies kiss,” Max explained simply.

You knelt on the ground next to him. “Yeah, mouse, some do. But Spencer and I aren’t like that. We don’t know each other very well, and normally, you only kiss people you know well.”

Max looked slightly dejected. “Okay.”

You poked him in the tummy and said, “Let’s go see how the set up for the party is going.”

Max perked up and followed you outside.

You stopped in your tracks at the sight in front of you. “Penelope. Oh my god. You’ve outdone yourself.”

The backyard was absolutely decked in decorations. Streamers hung from tree to tree, tables were set up with different kids’ games, and the goodie bags were concerningly large.

“Only the best for my Maxie!” Pen said, walking over to the both of you. You smiled and wrapped her in a hug. “Though Derek did most of the heavy lifting,” she laughed.

“Now hurry up and get ready, both of you. Your friends will be here soon!” she continued, shooing you inside.

True to Penelope’s word, as soon as you got Max dressed, his friends started pouring into the backyard. Other moms praised you on your decorating skills, which Penelope practically bullied you into taking the credit for (“single moms get enough shit as it is”).

As it was a BAU tradition to attend kids’ parties for reasons you didn’t quite understand but were entirely grateful for, the team began showing up shortly after the kids. Hotch got there first with Jack in tow, who took off for the games as soon as he saw them, while Hotch greeted you with a small hug. JJ showed up with Henry and exactly the same thing happened. Emily showed up sporting a bag that clinked too much for your liking and she winked at your questioning eyebrow. Your mom and sister were absolutely floored by the decorations when they showed, giving Penelope big hugs.

Finally, Spencer walked through the gate, and Max ran up to him at the speed of light. Spencer caught him and spun him through the air, singing Happy Birthday in a truly awful singing voice. His eye caught yours and you smiled from ear to ear.

After he dealt with Max, he walked over to you and wrapped you in a tight hug, saying, “I’m glad we’re okay,” into your ear.

You pulled away, watching all the kids run around your backyard with glee. “You know, Max noticed. He asked if I was done being mad at you this morning.”

Spencer laughed. “He’s a smart kid. I guess we’ll just have to never do that again.” “Agreed,” you chuckled. You thought for a second before adding, “He also asked if we’re kissing now. Because that’s what happy mommies and daddies do.”

Spencer glanced over at you. “Yeah?”

You bit your lip, rocking on your toes. “Yeah.”

You made eye contact that shocked you down to your toes. “It would be a big deal, Y/N. I understand that.”

You looked around before subtly grabbing his hand. “I think it’s worth it. I really like you, Spencer. You’re my kid’s dad. There obviously has to be something there with that. I want this.”

Spencer didn’t respond, just took your face in his hands and gently pulled it towards his. Your lips met and the world felt right again. You felt as sure of this as when you left Chicago for the BAU, as sure as when you’d made the decision to keep Max, as sure as when you’d first stepped into the hotel room with Spencer.

The kiss was short due to there being so many kids around, but you were still left breathless. You smiled at Spencer as your forehead rested against his. A voice to your left snapped you two out of your reverie.

“Yay, mommy and daddy kissed!” Max yelled.

Your cheeks burned and you nearly hid your face in your hands, but Spencer grabbed them, laughed and said, “Yeah, Maxie, we did,” and you just smiled.

And 12 years later, at Max’s high school graduation, you nearly hid your face in your hands when the tears started pouring down your face, but Spencer grabbed them, kissed them, and said, “Thank you.”

taglist:

@agenthotchner​ @mrs-dr-reid​ @rexorangecouny​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ @ellvswriting​ @blameitonthenight21​

[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 6

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 with a side of angst. The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: Some drinking & swearing.

(My GIF)

He made it out onto the street, looking around him in all directions, heart sinking as he couldn’t see her anywhere.

Running his fingers through his hair, Billy continued scanning the crowded streets. No.... nothing. He grabbed his phone and dialled her number. She didn’t pick up. So he texted her.

“Angel, just saw you in the restaurant. I was there for a business lunch, really hope you don’t think there was anything else to it cos there wasn’t. Please - call me back or pick up when I call.”

He tried another couple of times including FaceTime but no, she definitely wasn’t picking up. Trying once more, he let it ring through to voicemail, and left basically the same message on there. He had no intention of returning to Madani and continuing lunch - too many awkward questions to face there apart from anything else - so he went back to his car, got in, slamming his hands down onto the steering wheel a few times before starting the engine, and driving back to Anvil.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You and your friend had only gone a few doors down to another restaurant, and luckily they had a table available. Once you’d ordered and had glasses of wine in your hands, your friend Karen had fixed you with a steely gaze and said, “Okay, give.”

She worked as a reporter at one of the big newspapers, and you hadn’t had the chance to catch up with her for a good few months. And you knew she wouldn’t let this go until she’d wrung all the juicy details out of you, so you took a big sip of wine and sighed.

Catching her up from the whole ex-boyfriend situation to the cocktail party and meeting your new love interest, through to becoming lovers and maybe thinking it could go somewhere, you finally got to today’s fiasco.

“So, literally as soon as we sat down, I look up and that big fucker’s walking in with some pretty girl and looking extremely comfortable with her!” You gave what could only be described as an angry growl, “I mean I’d sussed out from the get-go that he was a player, but ... uhhh!!!... how could I be so damn stupid to fall for his shit talk?!!! Telling me I was his girlfriend!!!” You blew out a big breath.

“And then...“ you switched to your fake “man” voice, “‘Oh, I got a job I’ll be on for the next couple of days, angel.’” Another angry huff from you. “Yeah, right, on a ‘job’...he was obviously gonna be ON her! For about 48 hours by the sound of it. Bitch! And he’s a fucking jerk.”

Once Karen could get a word in edgeways when your rant drew to a close, she said in a calming voice, “Honey, it sounds like you had a lucky escape. There’s a lot of them in New York, you know... fucking jerks, I mean.”

You felt your eyes welling up, but blinked the tears back fiercely, you weren’t going to cry over that stupid big douchebag. You pulled your phone out of your bag, “I mean, look! Look at what he literally put in my phone yesterday evening...” and, ignoring your notifications for the moment, you scrolled to Contacts and turned the phone towards her.

Karen rolled her eyes, “Urrrghh, how lame is that? ‘Your Boyfriend’?” shaking her head. Even though you were furious at him, you felt a twinge of annoyance at her comment. You’d thought it was quite cute. Well, you had before that little shitshow. Then she put her face closer to the screen, “Hey, wait a minute!.. lemme see his photo?”

You handed the phone to her, and she peered at the image. “Oh my god,” she breathed, looking up at you, “...what’s your guy’s name?” “Billy Russo,” you spat back, loath to even voice it. She handed you the phone back. “Well, that’s just damn spooky,” she said, looking amazed. She leant in to you, “I’ve been seeing a guy for a couple of months, his name’s Frank,” and your mouth dropped. “Billy’s got a friend called Frank!” you said, staring at her. She nodded, “Yep, works at Anvil which is owned by the one and only Billy Russo!”

She sat back, taking a long sip of her wine. “What a freaking coincidence this is,” she shook her head. “Frank’s told me a little about him, you know and I’m afraid you’re right - he sounds like a total player.” She looked at you sympathetically, “Sorry.” You waved a hand in the air, “Nothing I hadn’t guessed for myself, Karen. But... he seemed so sincere.” You laughed self-depracatingly, “I was gonna be the one who tamed the bad boy. Huh!!”

You scrolled through the notifications, realising they were all from Billy. “I think he must’ve seen me! He’s called and texted.” You read the text, huffing and showing it to Karen, who raised her eyebrows and commented, “Nice recovery, Russo.” “The voicemail’s the same,” you said, as you listened to it. “What a load of bullshit. I mean, c’mon, who walks a business lunch date to the table with his hand on her back?”

Karen nodded, “No-one, unless they wanna get slapped with a lawsuit.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy slammed his office door behind him, and threw himself into his chair, tapping out a staccato rhythm on his desktop with a long finger. He reached down, opening his bottom desk drawer and taking out a bottle of whisky and a glass. A moment later, the door opened and Frank came in, looking concerned. He took in Billy’s less-than-immaculate hair, bouncing knee and tense demeanour.

Billy waggled the whisky bottle and quirked an eyebrow at him, but Frank shook his head.

“Okay, Bill, what’s up? Something go wrong?” Billy looked up at him, scowling ferociously, “Fuck yes!” he bit out, “Frankie... everything’s gone wrong.”

Before he could say anything else, Frank’s phone rang and he held a finger up to Billy to say he was going to take the call.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he answered it, “how’re you?” Billy heard a big outburst of indecipherable speech from the phone, and then saw Frank’s eyes flick over to him. “Oh, uhhh okay.. umm right, yeah he’s here. Yeah... yep, I’ll let him know. Will I see you later?” He smiled fondly as he went on, “Okay! That’s great, see you then.” He hung up, hand going to his jaw and running over his stubbled chin, looking worried.

“Bill...” he started, just staring at him and Billy stared right back, “What?”

Frank said a name to him, his angel’s name, and continued, “You know her?” Billy nodded, “Yeah, that’s my girl.” Frank plopped down into the chair across from him, “Not sure that’s the case now.” Billy nodded, “I know. That’s what I was about to tell you. I took Madani out to lunch and my girl was in the fuckin’ restaurant.” He shook his head, “She ran right outta there and I followed but couldn’t find her. So I headed back here. Left Madani sitting there in the restaurant.”

He poured a generous slug of whisky into the glass and knocked back most of it. “Now my girl’s mad at me and Dinah’s mad at me, and this operation could be down the tube.”

Frank sighed, rubbing his big paw over his face. “And Karen’s her friend, can you believe that? So she’s mad at you too. Fuckin’ hell, Russo.”

“Yeah,” said Billy, also sighing. “How the fuck am I gonna fix this?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Dinah Madani was not a happy bunny. She stomped into her office, yelling out “Sam!!!” as she went. He hurried in behind her. “Something wrong, Dinah?” She gave him a contemptuous look, “I see you’ve been working on your powers of observation. Well done! Yes, something’s wrong!” Sitting down behind her desk, she glared up at him, “Russo!!! That’s what wrong. That piece of shit.”

Inwardly, Sam laughed to himself. Despite Madani’s sarcastic gibe at his perceptiveness, he’d quickly realised as soon as Russo had popped up in this case that Madani had the serious hots for him. She thought she’d been getting somewhere with him, both on the case and personally, but now something must’ve put a spanner in the works on either one or both of those.

“What’s pretty boy done now?” he asked, trying and failing to completely hide his smirk. She scowled at him, “We’d gone out for lunch - to discuss the case,” she hastily added, and Sam thought to himself ‘yeah, right, and what were you hoping dessert was gonna be?’

“He spotted someone leaving the restaurant and off he goes, saying he’s got to catch up with them.” She viciously powered up her laptop. “Think it was a woman,” she mumbled. “Sorry, what?” said Sam innocently. “I said, I think it was a woman!” spat out Madani, “are you deaf or something?”

Sam smirked again, “Oh. Dear. Someone to do with the case, you think?” She stared at her screen, “How should I know? But that bastard’s got some explaining to do.”

Well this afternoon was gonna be a complete blast, thought Sam.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d returned to Chelsea, and spent the whole afternoon getting under your team’s feet in the café. Not wanting to sit and brood in your office, you’d busied yourself ‘helping them out’, when in fact they didn’t actually need any assistance. And you could sense you were vaguely irritating them. But you didn’t feel up to telling them what the problem was.

Eventually, you’d asked if one of them wanted the rest of the day off as paid leave, and Gabrielle had jumped at the chance. Her older sister had just recently popped out another baby, and she was keen to visit and fulfill her role as doting aunt.

The two guys had watched you warily for the rest of the day, in case all your nervous energy ended up causing some kind of coffee-shop catastrophe. You sent them off at the end of the day, saying you’d close up yourself. Which turned out to be a mistake. Looking vacantly out at the street, you closed and locked the door when they left, and that’s when you spotted the Wraith, parked diagonally opposite the café.

Resting your forehead against the cool glass of the door for a moment, knowing you should really have anticipated that this would be Billy’s next move when you didn’t respond to his attempts at contacting you. Either turn up here or at your apartment. Not difficult to work out. You got the fright of your life as the doorway suddenly darkened, and long legs clad in suit trousers and a pair of shiny black shoes appeared in your line of vision. You’d jumped back in surprise and Billy leant one one arm on the door, staring in at you and mouthing “Please?” at you, followed by (you thought), “I just wanna explain.”

You’d looked away from his pleading eyes, contemplating what you were going to do. Let him in, don’t let him in. You couldn’t deny you wanted to hear his explanation. In all its no-doubt manufactured glory. So, heaving a big sigh, you unlocked the door and immediately walked away to the counter, leaving him to actually open the door and walk in. A small victory, you thought. You hadn’t actually let him in after all. Sort of.

“Coffee?” you asked over your shoulder. “Please.” You made an Americano for him, and a caffé corretto for yourself. You weren’t too fond of grappa, so topped up the espresso with some brandy. Billy, who was leaning on the counter watching you, raised an eyebrow at you. “Ooh, that bad, huh? Can I get some too?” You just stared at him, and he added, “Please?” so you added a shot to his coffee and handed it to him.

Sipping your own strong and bracing beverage, you leaned back against the unit behind you, face neutral, waiting. He took a long drink of his fortified coffee, eyes never leaving yours. He carefully placed the cup back into the saucer, leaning his arms on the counter and looking back up at you, the tip of his tongue swiftly moving over his bottom lip.

“I know you’ll probably think this is total bullshit, but I promise you it’s not,” he said into the silence. You nodded, “Mmhmm.” His eyes drilled into yours, sincerity shining out of them, “That was purely a business lunch. She’s a Homeland agent, and Frankie and I are... in the middle of something with that agency. I can’t tell you any of the details... yet. I’m sorry.”

You huffed out a long breath. “Firstly, Billy, since when does a business lunch entail walking the woman to a table with a hand on her back?” He winced, but you weren’t finished, “And right now, to me, the only thing you looked like getting into the middle of was her.” This time he flinched back from the venom in your voice, but he maintained eye contact with you.

“Angel, I swear to you... On. My. Life. There is nothing and will never be anything between me and Agent Madani.” So.... Agent Madani, your brain rolled the words around your mind. “We’re in a joint operation with them, and I need to make sure she doesn’t drop us out of the loop, they’re good at doing that.”

“And how’re you doing that, Billy? With ‘business lunches’, with lots of flirting? She got the hots for you, hmmm Billy? Yeah? So, ultimately with sex? Keep her really sweet?”

Damn, you knew you’d hit the nail right on the head. His face had flushed, guilt written all over him and he’d slid back on the counter slightly. You’d like to bet that If he hadn’t met you, that’s exactly what would’ve happened. Maybe he’d just not got that far down his timetable with her yet.

You stared intently into his eyes, “Slept with her yet, Billy?” He straightened up to his full height, looking down at you, a strange distant expression in his eyes. “No, angel, I haven’t. And I can’t deny what you’ve just said. That was the plan. Me and Frankie need to know what information and leads she’s got. Yeah, she’d like to fuck me, she’s made that pretty obvious. But we hadn’t quite got to that stage yet.” He took a deep breath, and said in a rush, “We had a drink after work one night, and I kissed her.”

“Uhuh. Did you.” Statement, not question, folding your arms over your chest.

“Before we met!” he hastily added, emphasising the ‘before’, “...it happened days before we met. And it was purely business to me. Nothing more.” “Really? She’s pretty hot.” You could tell he spent a split second thinking how best to reply and keep his balls intact at the same time. “Well, yeah she is... but the spark’s not there for me. She doesn’t float my boat. Not like you do.” You smirked, good answer Russo!

“So what would your schedule have been?” He looked at you, puzzled, “What d’you mean?”

“Flirt, tick. Kiss, tick,” you made little air ticking motions with your finger. “Fuck...? Now, just when would that’ve been on the table, Billy?” He looked away from you, shaking his head, “I dunno. Whenever it would’ve been necessary.” Glancing back at you, “Look, I know this sounds really...” “Shitty?” you supplied. He allowed himself a small grin, “Yeah, shitty,” then the grin dropped. “But this is life and death, angel, and it means finally clearing our names as long as it all goes down okay.” You decided to spare Billy the verbal barb which had popped effortlessly into your head, along the lines of ‘would it depend on who went down on who?’

But you didn’t, instead saying. “Oh right, that’d be clearing your name from when you and Frank got arrested by Homeland, yes?” Billy gave you a hint of a smile, “So, you have been digging after all.”

You nodded, “Yes, I have. Not that I found out much. The dead CIA guy, him having funded you, you guys getting arrested. That was pretty much it.” He nodded, “That’s the bare bones of it, the important parts though. I promise you that as soon as I can, I’ll tell you the whole sorry story. We’re still right in the... it’s all still goin’ on right now.”

You smirked to yourself, you knew he’d changed what he’d been about to say as he was saying it, in case you took another dig at him about exactly what he was in the middle of.

He moved round the counter, and stood next to you. His dark eyes looked huge as they stared into yours, “I promise you, angel, you’re the only woman I’m interested in. The only one I want to be with. Please say you believe me.” The annoying thing was, you did. You didn’t like what he’d told you - that basically if you hadn’t been on the scene he’d have slept with Madani to keep her ‘on side’ - but you did believe that he hadn’t had sex with her. You thought that the small snippet of her body language you’d observed had screamed ‘I want him’ but not the casual touching and languid looks of ‘I’ve had him’.

You gave a big sigh. “Okay, Russo, I believe you.” A look of pure relief crossed his face, and he immediately grabbed both of your hands, pulling you close and kissing you hungrily. You pulled away after a few moments, just as he was trying to deepen the kiss. “But you’re on parole for a while.” He groaned, which became a laugh, “Okay, yeah... whatever you want, angel. For however long you want. I guess I deserve some punishment.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After closing up, you and Billy crossed the road and headed towards his car. He beeped his car remote at it as he approached and then opened the passenger door for you. As you folded yourself into the seat, he put one arm on the door frame and leant in to kiss you again. “Sneaky,” you said as you moved your lips away from his. “Always,” he replied and smiled widely at you. He seemed very happy to have been granted ‘parole’, you thought.

As Billy drove off in the direction of his place - realising this produced a part-exasperated smirk on your face - you contemplated what a fucking awful, emotional, but ultimately good day you’d had.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Someone else was stewing about precisely the same thing. Only without the good ending.

Dinah Madani had a furious scowl on her face as she put her SUV into Drive and pulled out into the traffic flow, following Billy’s car.

She’d just watched that whole little pantomime as he’d opened the car door for that woman, then leant in and obviously kissed her, although she hadn’t been able to actually see that from her vantage point a couple of cars behind his.

When she’d followed Billy from Anvil out to Chelsea earlier on, for the life of her she couldn’t figure out why he’d headed into a coffee shop, of all places. She’d discovered that she couldn’t see into the café from where she was parked, and didn’t want to break cover and walk over to the window in case Billy spotted her.

Then out he’d trotted, hand in hand with whoever this woman was - a waitress in a coffee shop? “Classy, Russo, very classy,” she said out loud, in a bitchy voice. She could ask him about it, she thought, but knowing him he’d more than likely tell her it was none of her business.

Well, she was going to make it her business to find out whatever she could about this apparent liaison of his. She pulled over and watched as his car disappeared into the underground carpark of his apartment block.

It could have some bearing on the case, she thought, trying to justify this course of action to herself.

She ignored that other little voice in her head which said to her that she was just plain jealous.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane

[micheldechevin]

Red carnations

Its me, ya boi....back at it again with....a Vyn fic. I've gotten severe Tears of Themis brain rot. Well anyway. Feel free to kudos on Ao3 if you like! Link to the fic on ao3 Pairing: MC x Vyn Richter Series: Tears of Themis Rating: T Word Count: 1800

Sitting in his study, Vyn felt strangely lonely. It wasn’t like him to miss anyone, but it had been more than two weeks since he last spoke to Rosa due to another large case that needed all hands on deck at the Themis office. Even so, he couldn’t help but almost ache from her absent; whenever she crossed his mind, his chest would tighten. He was far past accepting that these were new feelings in his life and it wasn’t the mysticism of ‘Love at first sight’. Still, the ache that accompanied these feelings was something he was struggling to get used to. So unique and admirably was she, that he struggled to stand in her blinding light some days, and yet much light a moth to the flame he would do so anyway. A few scorch marks on his heart was nothing compared to the valued time he had with Rosa.

The last time they were together they had gone to the local gardens to see the freshly Bloomed Carnations before going to dinner at a spot Rosa was sure he would love. He barely remembered the food, but the Blooms were so vivid in his mind because he couldn’t help but remember how wonderful they matched her. How it seemed like every flower in the garden only accented her beauty. Vyn remembered that he also bought her a bouquet of the Red Carnations because he knew it would be the last time they would see each other for at least a week and he thought they would remind her of him.

That raised a question he had tormented himself with again. Did she think of him often? By now Vyn was willing to wager that she did think of him, but to what end? For how long? How often? He wanted to know every part of her thoughts and feelings, every inch of her heart and while it was so easy to read what she felt on her face, he wanted to know specifics to hear her voice say it. She knew in so many words the contents of his heart; something he spilled in front of Wayne, but he wasn’t so sure she trusted him to be so open nor believed it was real even when he had explained it to her. He craved her trust.

With a sigh, Vyn shook such thoughts from his head, returning his attention to the patient file before him, much like her, he also needed to do more work. An excellent distraction from the aching absence of his ‘special one.’

----

It was after several hours of focus when Vyn’s phone rang, pulling him out of his current task to see the name pop up on the screen; much to his joy it read ‘Rosa’. Again his chest squeeze as he answered her call. “Rosa? Hello.” His tone was even and pleasant, though it was probably hard to miss the undertone of relieved.

“Dr. Richter! Hello! I haven’t talked to you in a while, but we just finished! We won the trail!” Vyn was taking in the excitement in her voice, the corners of his lips curving up into a smile. Though he had so desperately missed her, she was happy and that was almost worth it to him; he couldn’t help but wish that he was the cause of the happiness. “Can we meet up?” He heard the pause in her voice before continuing. “I mean, if you’re not busy. Sorry I should have asked that first.” The smile was quickly replaced with a slight frown. She never needed to ask—rarely was he too busy for her, for anyone else? He was too busy but never for Rosa.

“I am not busy.” He pushed the file off to the side with his freshly written notes. “I would like to see you again, perhaps, since it is dinner time I could come over and we could get take out from some place that you like?” Vyn would have offered to take her out somewhere, but he wanted to monopolize her from the rest of the world for a moment. Everyone else got to see her, now it was his turn. “I have a gift for you.”

“Huh? A gift?” He could hear the surprise, which was another success to him. He enjoyed pulling all different emotions from her. “You didn’t have to do that! Just hanging out is nice!” Her voice sounded far away for a moment, quickly he realized it meant she was switching ears.

“I did not have too, that is correct. I wanted to.” Vyn stood from his desk, stretching his back. “If you are home, I can come over now so we can decide what we would like to eat.” Pleased, when there was a hum of agreement on the other end of the line. “Then I will be there as soon as I can be. See you, Rosa.” Hanging up the phone, he gathered the gift he had made for Rosa before heading out.

---

It was sometimes later when Vyn knocked on Rosa’s door, which she opened immediately with a smile so bright it lit up his world. “Dr. Richter, you made it.” Stepping back, she let him into the room. Quickly, he took off his shoes and turned towards her wondering if she thought he might not come. Of course he would, he always would.

“I did, indeed.” He smiled at her—hoping that she felt the warmth he constantly felt with her. After a moment of just admiring her, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small hair clip that looked hand made. It had a red carnation on it, much like the ones in the garden they had visited although a little more crude. Still, her eyes lit up as she looked at it despite her earlier protests that he didn’t need to do that.

“It’s beautiful, Dr. Richter! Now I have two hair clips from you that I can wear.” Once again, success—she was happy, and it was all because of him.

“Here, let me put it into your hair.” Vyn stepped closer to Rosa, gently, tenderly, lovingly running his fingers through the strands for as long as he could get away with before pinning the clip in place. His hand slid down to her cheek, his thumb brushing against her cheek bone. This was a little more daring before; he hadn’t shied away from touch—but never so intimate and….electric. But it was as soft as he had found himself imagining a time or two. He could tell she didn’t know what to do as her cheeks turned progressively darker, he breath almost stopping completely. Perhaps he had pushed too far this time. With a small chuckle, he dropped his hand and cleared his throat. “Yes, well—What would you like to order to eat?”

That seemed to jolt her back into a working brain, thought I was obvious she was a little shy and nervous now. “Right, sorry. I..Uhm, maybe from that family restaurant?” Rosa was avoiding eye contact, but she didn’t seem mad so that was enough for Vyn. “The one we, ah…” She was digging through her pockets, presumably for her phone. “The one we went too before.” The one where we had been mistaken for a couple. He remembered clearly, there was a level of Euphoria that came with that whole situation, even if he had be...anxious? Though anxious might not have been the right word.

---

“I think that would be good.” He leaned in, the glow from the evening sun reflecting in his golden eyes, radiating a kindness and affection Rosa couldn’t recall seeing before. Never had she realized that as cold as those eyes could get, they could get so equally warm. Her heart was faltering from nerves. Usually, Rosa felt calm in Dr. Richter’s presence, but when he got so close like this—though this was closer than he had ever been, she felt both like she was floating on air, and sinking into the ground. He made her feel things she simply wasn’t used to. It was….difficult, and she wasn’t entirely sure what any of it meant, but Artem’s warning to keep it business was always in the back of her mind—even if it were far too late for any of that.

“Right, I will call. I think they do delivery, if not walking would be nice.” Yes, fresh air would be good right now. “Actually, why don’t we just walk over and order there and bring it back?” Her phone was up in her hand, almost as if it was shielding her from his intense and potentially unearned affection. She still hadn’t pulled part what all of that with Wayne meant. “It’s a really nice evening and I have been locked in the office for a while.” Hopefully, he would bite.

“That can be done, but are you sure you want to walk? I’m worried you might be tired from over working.” Really, he just wanted to stay here, the two of them but he was willing to relent if he must, and it seemed he must when she nodded and put her phone back in her pocket. It was a shame, but he wouldn’t ruin her fun for his own selfishness.

“Yes, I think it would be nice to take a walk with you.” Rosa had already gone to slide her shoes on and grab a light coat that wouldn’t overly heat her but would be nice in the evening breeze. “Besides, I’ve been wanting to go on a walk with you for a while so it’s perfect; one stone and all of that.” She laughed, finally relaxing again.

Vyn smiled at her with admiration, the smile on her face was worth pushing his own desires deeper down and it’s not like they were going to be away from her home all night, just for a little bit and then he could have her all to himself again. Sliding on his own shoes, he followed her outside and waited for her to lock the door behind them. Satisfied that it was locked, Rosa turned to Dr. Richter with a nod before turning to walk in the direction of the Restaurant. Vyn walked next to her, letting the silence of the calm evening settle over them—pondering over what had made him so bold earlier; not that there was any regrets at all. Perhaps he was simply bursting at the emotional seams. No matter, he was here with her now, and nothing could stop the joy creeping through is heart. Like the vines from misplaced Ivy, she was growing into the cracks in his foundation, and he found it harder and harder to mind.

[lokis-army-77]

If You Please

Chapter twelve

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2588

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: none

Note: Normally I am the type of person to be date accurate when writing things and if you are too, I'm sorry. I messed up on the dates, so the battle of New York happens like a month after it should. This is also a short chapter because it's a filler and I'm trying to just get to the Winter Soldier but have everything make sense.

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Masterlist

A few days later I had received a small archivist job in the WWII department of the Smithsonian. Thankfully the made-up resume and a few fake SHIELD recommendations came in handy. I would officially start the following week after a few background checks were cleared. In my free time until then, I unpacked all the boxes in my apartment. It started to feel more homely and warm when all of my things filled up the space. When I didn’t feel like unpacking anything, I started taking long walks to the VFW building. I hadn’t joined in on any of the meetings yet, I just stood by the doorway and watched, listening to the stories people told.

One day that week as I stood back in the hallway after the meeting had ended, a man came up to me. He was a little taller than I was and had the brightest smile I had ever seen. I had watched him in the meetings before, he was usually the one hosting them, giving advice to all who needed it.

“I’ve seen you standing out here for the past three days, why don’t you come have a seat next time? It would be more comfortable than standing out here for an hour.” He said as he leaned his back against the wall right next to me.

“I have thought about it, but I tend to get here after you have started. I don’t want to interrupt anything by just barging in.” I said over my shoulder at him.

“You won't interrupt anything, just come on in next time, we’d be happy to have a new face around,” He pushed himself off the wall and walked down the hall.

After that, I ended up joining the meetings and even spoke a few times. I learned that the man who came up to me that day was Sam Wilson, pararescue, who had served two tours in Afghanistan. From the first day he came up and talked to me to now, we quickly became friends.

The days had turned into weeks and I was finally able to live relatively by my own means. The Smithsonian was great, in the archives, no one was really around and I could spend a whole day without any interruptions, which allowed me to just concentrate on what I was doing. After closing, I normally walked to meet Sam, who was usually way too excited to see me, even though we saw each other almost every day without fail.

“You’re late today.” I jumped, startled out of my thoughts at the sound of someone talking to me. I looked up, spying Sam standing next to one of the small trees outside the VFW building.

“What do you mean late?”

“I mean you usually get here at three-thirty. It's four right now.” He said looking down at his watch.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realize. I've just been lost in my thoughts lately.” I sighed.

“I know we’ve only been friends for what? A month? But I already know when something is bothering you, What is it?”

“Nothing really, just my brother. Since moving here he's called at least twice a week to check up but it’s been radio silence for the past two weeks, he doesn't even answer when I try calling him. I'm just a little worried that something bad is going on, considering his job.”

“Well, maybe he’s just really busy at the moment, or he's somewhere he can't call you. You know how it is being out on those military missions.”

“I know, it’s just the last time we were apart on a mission,” I trailed off and looked up at Sam, he raised his eyebrows, quietly waiting for the end of the sentence. “Someone close to us passed. It’s still fresh in my mind like it happened yesterday. I was there that day and I was too far away to even know what had happened, now my brother and I aren’t even in the same vicinity as each other, there is no telling what could happen and it makes me nervous.”

He gave me a small apologetic smile and patted my shoulder before leading me from the tree where we stood to where his car was parked. “What do you say we hang out at mine and just watch some tv? Get your mind off things? Or we can talk about it, either way, it’s better than dealing with it alone.” I nodded my head and grabbed onto the car door handle as he unlocked it.

Walking through the front door after him I took a quick look around. It was cozy, way more decorated than I thought it would be for a man in his early thirties living alone.

“Make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink?” He asked neck-deep in the fridge.

“Okay, I’ll just have some water,” I called out as I made my way further into the living room. The couch was backed up to the wall a few feet away from the dining room table. I sat down on it and scooted as close as I could to its right arm. A few moments later Sam came over with two glasses of water and a bag of chips. He handed me my drink before crashing down into his own seat. “Thank you,” I said before taking a long sip.

He nodded as he said “No problem.” Before he got himself really comfortable he searched around for the TV remote. As he pressed the ‘on’ button the TV came to life. “What in the world is that?” He sounded concerned so I quickly looked at the screen.

“Breaking: Attack on New York City. This afternoon at 2:15 several unidentified aircraft descended onto Earth's surface. Strange beings, some are calling aliens, Accompanied these ships and are causing havoc in Manhattan. Eyewitnesses have stated that they have seen Iron Man, and what seemed to be Captain America, leading a team of three others fighting back against the invaders. The battle seems to be over but updates are still coming in, let's take a look at some footage of the downtown destruction.” My eyes went wide and my heart stopped as I listened to what the reporter was saying. I kept my eyes glued to the screen as it changed to show a destroyed street. As the camera panned around I spotted Steve fighting against two of the creatures, before the clip quickly changed to show one of the large ships crashing into the New York skyline.

“Oh God Steve, what did you get into?” I murmured to myself.

“You say that like you know him personally.”

“Uhh.” I just gave him a wide-eyed look of surprise. “I do, he’s my brother.”

“Now really isn’t the time to be joking about things,” He gave me a pointed look.

“I swear I’m not joking, he really is my brother. I can explain later, I need to try and get a hold of him.” I pulled out the small flip phone from my pocket and dialed the number for Steve's cell phone, it rang and rang but no answer. I hung up quickly and dialed the number Fury gave me at the beginning of the month. After two rings he answered.

“I assume you are looking for Captain Rogers.”

“Where is he? Is he okay?” I tried to keep the worried tone from coming through in my voice.

“He’s fine. He is in the middle of a debriefing. I’ll tell him you called.”

“Okay, thank you.” As soon as the words left my mouth he gave a quick hum and then hung up. I looked over at Sam whose eyes hadn't left me at all. “Everything is fine, he's in a debrief so that means that whatever happened in New York is definitely over.”

“That’s good to hear, hopefully, those things don’t try to come back again.” He shook like a shiver ran down his spine. “Now please explain how Captain America, a man from the 1940s, is your brother.”

“I can hear the skepticism in your voice.”

He held his hands up in defense, “Hey, I'm not the one saying I'm the sister to a 90 something-year-old man.”

“Look, it’s a long story that I would rather not get into now but the short version is that I was born in 1921, Steve is my older brother, we both ended up taking the super-soldier serum and fought against HYDRA in the second world war. We ended up crashing a plane into some Ice in the Atlantic ocean and were found and unfrozen last October.” “If you are really Captain America’s sister, then why are you never mentioned in anything?” I looked at him and shook my head.

“Well for starters it was the forties and I was a woman fighting on the front lines. Credit is never given where it is due. But there is also the fact that I was a part of the SSR, which was very secretive, after I died.” I put my fingers up in air quotes, “They should have erased most, if not all the files on me, per protocol. The only reason Steve is well known is because of his time going cross country selling war bonds.” I paused for a second before quickly adding, “I’m sure if you look hard enough, you’ll find me in the history books somewhere.”

Sam just sat there not really saying anything. This was the first time I think he had ever been quiet for more than five seconds. I let out a deep sigh and stood, grabbing my bag from the floor. “Thanks for having me over, but I think I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He stood and walked me to the door.

“Don’t be late. I’ll see you.” Sam waved me off and I headed down the street.

About half a year later while sorting through some archive files, I came across Peggy Carter. I felt a pang in my heart as I stared at the photo of her standing next to Howard Stark. Other than Steve and Bucky, those two were my closest friends. I fell down a rabbit hole after that, finding any information on the two that I could find. They had both helped found SHIELD in 1965, they had both gotten married and had children of their own. Peggy's children had stayed out of the public eye, but in true Stark fashion, Howard’s son evidently took over the family business and was living the high life. I pulled out a newspaper from the stack I had on the table in front of me and was shocked at what I saw. The title read ‘Howard and Maria Stark Die in Car Accident’, I knew Howard most likely wasn’t alive anymore but seeing the photographs of the wrecked car in the newspaper cast a somber mood through the room.

I laid the paper down on the table and ruffled through more of the papers before determining that we had no information on if Peggy was alive or not. That sent me into a frenzy of looking through phone books to try and find her and calling every retirement home in DC that I could. The only lead I had to go off of was a small interview from a newspaper, talking to Peggy about the seventieth anniversary of V-E Day, stated that she was living in Washington, DC.

After eight failed calls, finally, on the ninth, I had finally found a home which had a Peggy Carter as a residence in room 204. I rushed to pack up my things and left my office early. I ran down the back hallways as fast as I could without drawing too much attention. When I made it out of the building I ran full speed to the road to hail a cab.

Amazingly the traffic was almost nonexistent and I made it to the retirement home in only ten minutes. I fumbled out of the cab and I raced through the front doors of the building. I must have startled the women at the front desk because as soon as I rounded the corner to the staircase, they were yelling after me. I took the steps three at a time in my haste to get to the second floor. I stopped running when I was outside of room 204. I couldn’t see anything clearly through the frosted window so I knocked hesitantly and slowly opened the door and stepped in.

There in the middle of the room, against the wall was a single bed. A woman laid there quietly with her eyes closed. The closer I came to her the more familiar she looked. I let out a relieved gush of breath. There she was, older now, but still the Peggy I once knew. I nervously grabbed one of the chairs in the corner of the room and brought it over to her bedside so I could sit. Gently I gave her a small tap on the hand before just holding it in mine. She stirred but her eyes never opened.

All of a sudden one of the nurses from downstairs came into the room, with an angry and shocked expression.

“Ma’am, You can't be in here. If you want to see a patient, you have to sign in.” I ignored her, my eyes trained on Peggy's face. The commotion of the woman barging into the room had made her open her eyes and look around. I just watched as she scanned the room, first to the door on the left, to the wall in front of her, past me sitting on her right, then to the window behind me.” Her brows raised and she lifted her hands to her eyes to rub. The shock on her face was evident as she turned her head to stare directly at me.

“Hey Carter, long time no see huh?” I gave her the biggest smile that I could.

“Is it really you?” She reached her hand out to mine and grabbed hold.

“It is, it’s really me.”

“Ma’am, I mean it, you can't be here.” The nurse tried again, this time Peggy shot her a glare.

“Ms. I’ll have you know this is one of my best friends and she can be in here if she wants to. Now leave us alone.” The young nurse nodded her head and rushed out, even in old age she could still put on that commanding tone that struck fear in every man. She slowly turned back to me, almost like if she looked back for me, I would be gone. “How? How are you here?”

“It’s a long story Peg, are you sure you want to hear it?”

“Look where I am, I have nothing but time.” She laughed out and I let out my own small laugh as I shook my head.

In addition to what I had been doing, like hanging out with Sam, after that first visit, I made it a priority to see Peggy once or twice every two weeks, depending on how she was doing. Dementia had put a lot of stress on her, and seeing me after almost seventy-five years and looking relatively the same as I had when frozen took out a giant toll on her.

And that's how the next 10 months went until Steve eventually moved into an apartment directly under me.

Tag List: @ginger-swag-rapunzel @underc0vercryptid-reads @geek-and-proud @intothesoul @leyannrae @starkleila

[internalsealpanic]

Merzost’

Summary:   Merzost’. Abomination. Monster.

a/n: This is mostly a character building piece for reader in my False Face Au with Good Dad! Bruce and Good Big Brother! Dick. This piece is slightly depressing but here it is. I would very much like to thank @knightfall05x for proof reading, putting up with my nonsense and convincing me to post this. Please ignore the blatant use of google translate. 

TW: Attempted solicitation of a minor, trauma, and gore. 

masterlist

Merzost’.

 Abomination. 

 That is what the old woman called you. 

 It wasn’t your unusual gait or your unnaturally fluorescent eyes or even the fact that you could feel the press and pull of minds just as easily as you felt the heat radiate off another human.  

 No, you could see it in her clouded eyes and the way she shivered in your presence. She was old. She was an old woman in Gotham. She knew what death smelled like and oh, how it rolled off of you like a thick miasma. Dripping thick and suffocating. 

 No, no, it was none of those blemishes. It was something more… fundamental, unshakeable. Something you could not slough off as it nestled and stewed under your skin. 

 Even now, you can still feel the heft and weight of the old woman’s terror as she gazed at you. 

 You tried to smother the smile that ripples through your features. 

 As it carved itself on your lips, a cold sort of fear engulfed you. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Your mind spent far too much of your time in someone else’s skin that crawling back to your own felt wrong. Your mind and body roiled against each other. Blistering. Scraping. Scorching. Peeling away from each other as they are forcefully melded back together into an awkward human-like shape. 

 It was an odd feeling, a feeling of permanence and solidness that felt completely foreign to you.

 But this wasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want their eyes. Not raking over your still roiling flesh. Not carving, inspecting, appraising. Pausing too long at your leg, smiling knowing it made you weak. Your stomach rebelled, twisting. You felt sick. You hated these moments. You hated when you and whatever this nervous scared thing this was blended together. 

 “You’ll be so pretty when you grow up,” the man whispered to you. The excitement in his eyes made your skin itch. You swore there were boils forming on your skin.  This was the only time your mind and body coalesced when your skin tore itself away from uninvited touch. 

 The man grasped your face with large calloused hands, squishing the loose tufts of your hair to your skin- prickling. It made the itch on your skin worsen, the unsettling boil in your gut more pronounced. Men like him, when they looked at you, soaking up the sight of you with hungry eyes, they saw your mother-soft, shining undine. Less of the knife-toothed ruskla you knew she was.

  Or maybe they did know. 

 Maybe this is why they-

 “You’ll be so so pretty, baby,”

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Your mother held you tight. The smell of lilac in her hair was almost salient enough to overcome the pungent odor of copper in the air. 

 “Shhhhhhh. Shhhhh, It’s ok now-” She whispered, pressing a gentle kiss on your brow. “Mama’s got you. It’s ok.”

 Her words rang hollow and stark in contrast to the death rattle echoing from the man on the tiled floor of your kitchen. His intact eye still staring at you as your mother smoothed your hair with her blood-covered hand. 

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From the way your skin itched, you could tell Jeffrey Woodfield was a monster. Not the fun -movie kind with cheap latex masks so fake it made the pink flamingos in Florida look like the genuine article. Now that you thought about it, you really would rather be in Florida right now. The weather would be warm, your joints would ache a lot less, Disney Land probably didn’t get half as many clown attacks, and there would be sooooo many old people to scam. 

 “Baby,” he whispered huskily into your ear, sliding his filthy hands up your waist and keeping you planted firmly against the brick wall. You could practically feel the hives begin to pucker at your hips. Your breaths were shallow and nervous as he presses your small body into the wall. You asked him to leave you alone. You asked him to give you space.  You thought about screaming or asking for help or anything but the way your lungs shrink into your chest made it hard to so much as a squeak.   

 This wasn’t happening. 

 You were 13. 

 This wasn’t happening. 

 Behind Jeffrey, you saw your mother, gore ladden and goddamn beautiful. She smiled, lips painted red and slick with fresh blood. Man or pig’s, it did not matter. To her there was no difference. Man or pig, they both squeal. 

  You could feel everything in you unfurl and relax. Mother was here. No, no. She wasn’t.  Logically, you knew she was somewhere else. Where that somewhere was you hoped it was at least 6 feet under the dirt. For everyone’s sake. 

 But with your mother there you knew what to do. Muscle memory whirred to life and suffused throughout your body. Fluttering your long lashes and running your small hands up his chest, you felt him bend toward your touch, leaning low enough for you to cup his face in your hands. 

 You measured the odds.

  His neck was too thick to snap. You bit back a snarl of frustration. 

 You slid yourself along the brick wall, inching both of you towards the dumpster. 

 “Acting shy now?” he breathed against your skin sounding like a panting bulldog. You could feel the hives pucker there too. You struggled to keep your face carefully sculpted, not letting any of the fear and disgust slip out. 

 He led the way, pulling you off the wall keeping a death grip on your wrist. A manic smile, too wide, too full of teeth stretches across your lips when he grabs your non-dominant hand.  Using your good foot, you scooped up a brick and snatched it with your free hand. You tugged at your wrist nearly wrenching yourself free. He kept a steady grip on you. It didn’t matter. He turned to you snarling, impatient. You slammed the brick into his face.

 He 

 Went

 Down

 With a satisfying thud, he was on the ground. The joints in your leg and hip twinged, screaming for you to run but the feeling of bone cracking beneath the force of your blow thrummed pleasantly through the twitching muscles of your hands. It felt fresh and satisfying. 

 “Solnechnyy svet, we do not leave things half done,”

 You stalked towards the groaning heap of flesh, grabbing the discarded brick. You weren’t weak by any means. But your mother had taught you well. 

 All you needed to do now was finish what you started. 

 Straddling his chest, fingers laced together around the brick, 

 You slammed the brick down. Another satisfying crunch echoes in the empty alley. Giddy laughter bubbles in your chest. A sort of manic excitement took over your body. 

 You felt alive. You feel the rush even as shattered teeth carve deep gashes into the flesh of your knuckles. Your mind lashed out soaking up the pain that radiated off of him. 

 Distantly, you can hear him beg. He’s pleading for his life. He’s begging you to stop. 

 You should stop. 

 For him?

 Did he when you asked? 

 They only stop when they’re like this. Twitching and bleeding. 

 “Merzost’,” came the old woman’s frail voice cutting through the vicious thoughts in your mind.  

 The high vanished. It left you cold. Cold and solid.

 The puckering of your skin returned. 

 You looked at your shaking hands. Blood dripping, still trembling from a mix of nervousness and exhilaration. 

 The air thinned. 

 Your mother’s painted lips curled into a sweet smile. Her eyes softened as she reached for you. You could almost feel her carding her hand through your hair, gently running the tips of her fingers over your scalp.  Her hands slid down to cup your face. Your unnatural eyes meet. 

 “Just like mama,”

 Your senses failed you. 

 The next few minutes were a slapdash combination of colors and sounds. 

 The wash out grey of Gotham tainted with red. 

 The echo of shoes against pavement. 

 Your breath came out in puffs. 

 You felt sick. 

 Everything ached. 

 Why were you outside? 

 You had piano lessons.

  No, that was last week. 

 No, it was today. 

 No, it was-

 The fresh, deep gashes running up the length of your hand throbbed angrily, still bleeding. You could probably ask Alfie to-

 Fuck. 

 Fuck. 

 Alfie was going to kill you. He was going to kill you and cut you up and- 

 Wait. Where were you? 

 You look around at the dilapidated buildings. Your breath picked up when you took it all in. 

 How did you end up in Crime Alley? 

 You bring your injured hands to your mouth 

 Fuck. 

 Fuck. 

 Fuck. 

 Breathe. 

You shoved your hands into your pockets, violently rummaging through the seemingly endless expanse of space provided by the jeans you’d stolen from Dick’s wardrobe. 

Why were guy pockets so much bigger? 

Wait, why were you even wearing these? 

You shook your head as you finally fished out your phone. 

Dried blood still covered your hands. 

Your stomach fell. 

Bruce wouldn’t take you back. 

No. 

Not when you’re just like your mother. Your hands move to your face feeling the remnants of the manic smile still pressed into your features. Your stomach cartwheels. 

You’re just another one of Gotham’s monsters. 

Bruce might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, and, sure, the guy has a bleeding heart-

The phone’s shrill ring drags her mind kicking and screaming back to the present. 

Should you answer? 

Should you leave it?

Whatever you’re gonna do you really shouldn’t do it in the middle of the street, looking dazed and confused and way out of yourself. Quickly ducking into an alleyway and slipping behind a dumpster, you curled into herself before pulling out your phone. 

 “Where are you?!” Dick practically shouted over the phone. 

Oh fantastic, it’s boy blunder big brother wanna be extraordinaire. 

. From the way he sounds, he’s probably grappling or running roof to roof. 

“Parker Row, I think,” You slapped your hand against your forehead. Why did you tell him? 

“Parker-”

“Hold on, lemme check-” You peeked your head out just enough to see the mouth of the alleyway which didn’t show much. At least, not in any remotely distinguishable way. 

Wait. Why were you even giving him your location? He’s just gonna throw you in Arkham. You swallowed thinking of all the minds you didn’t want anywhere near yours. Your pulse faltered. The thought of your mind melding with any of the rogues made you absolutely wanna crawl out of your skin. You wanted to leave it behind. You absolutely just wanted to make a break for it.  

To be fair, considering what you just did, you probably belonged in a cell there. Maybe not next to any of the rogues but if you had to pick one, Poison Ivy. Definitely. 

“(y/n), I’m serious, where are you? Bruce and Alfred are worried sick,”

You bit your lip. Worrying them was the last thing you wanted to do but there was also the fact that you just nearly murdered a man and possibly murdered him since you didn’t call for an ambulance. 

You tried to dredge up any sort of guilt for your actions but you really couldn’t find any. You really couldn’t manage much. You didn’t feel bad for putting him down. He was a fucking asshole and he was gonna do that to someone else. You weren’t about to apologize for rearranging a creeper's face. But you were sorry about the brutality of it. You hated how cathartic each blow felt. How righteous the violence felt.

The image of red lips flashed across your mind. Another wave of nausea rolled over you. 

You let out a breath. You were surprised at how dry it sounded. Considering how thick your throat felt, you expected a sob to come out. It sounded like a huff.  It even sounded oddly petulant to you. It probably sounded like that to Dick too since he let out an exasperated huff of his own. You were a little glad for it. 

“I’ll try to look for something,” 

“No. Stay put. If you’re in the Alley-”

“Yeah. Yeah. It’s not safe for me to wander around alone in the Alley. You and B don’t have to keep telling me,”

“Considering where you are…."

This wouldn’t really be much of an issue if your dumbass legs didn’t take you there for God knows what reason. 

“Lecture me later. Yanno when I’m in the safety of an overly plush couch where I can drape over dramatically as you each deliver your 500-word monologue about my dumbassery and I pretend to listen,”

“Please tell me you’ve actually done that to Alfred,”

“Do I sound brain dead to you?”

“Do you want an answer to that?”

“Fuck you,”

“Love you too, baby sis~”

Not for long. 

You really loved your big brother. It was hard not to. He was too damned caring and sincere not to. 

The knots in your stomach tightened at the idea of Dick not being your big brother anymore. You wanted to cry. But he was already stressed as it was and having you crying into his ear would have exacerbated that. 

Maybe they’ll at least feed Anatolii once they kick you out. Or maybe Arkham will let you keep him.

“How did you manage to take out your tracker?”

“What tracker?”

“Wait, has B somehow not gotten into your stuff yet?”

“No and I stole some of your old clothes”

“What? Why?”

That is a good question that someone should have asked you around 3 hours ago.

“What tracker?” You repeated trying to redirect the question to something more concerning. 

“You know how B is paranoid,”

“Ah,”

“Yeah,”

You smiled at the easy understanding. 

“I think I see you,”

You waved your hands over your head as his silhouette dropped down from the fire escape. You rushed over to hug him, practically tackling him in the process. Looking down at you clearly very surprised by your sudden affection, Dick doesn’t question it and simply holds you. You bit your lip and blinked rapidly feeling the tears gathering in your eyes.  

“You’re injured,”

“You’re in tights. What’s your point?”

“YOU HAVE GASHES ON YOUR HANDS”

“And you should really consider getting your name changed to Captain Obvious,”

“Y/n…..”

You hugged him tighter trying to shrink. It was a manipulative tactic but you knew it would work. Your skin started to dot with angry hives where your body made contact with his. You could already feel your face getting mottled with red bumps.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” The bumps spread to your neck. You could tell  Dick could see them when his breath hitched and his grip on you loosened. 

Both of you knew that the hives were nothing more than a psychosomatic reaction but Dick really couldn’t help but worry. You greatly appreciated his concern. You really did but letting go meant looking him in the eyes. Looking him in the eyes meant talking. Talking meant telling the truth. You just couldn't stand the idea of it, so you let your skin blister.  

“What’s wrong, kiddo?”Dick asked, giving your hair three quick pats before smoothing it over in a comforting gesture. It nearly made you burst into tears. Your control over that was wearing thin. You shook your head not trusting your voice not to come out frail. “C’mon you can tell your big bro,” He coaxed, nervousness edging into his voice. You shook your head again. 

Dick sighed. 

“Can I at least get you to Doc. Leslie’s clinic?” 

You weighed your options. 

And weighed them again.

And again. 

Calculating the odds but you were too tired.

Too rung out.  

Whatever is going to happen will happen. You nodded into his shoulder. Dick’s shoulders loosened. His hands moved up to squeeze your shoulders but pulled away quickly like you’d burned him. 

“Can you walk?” He asked gently. You hummed in answer. He let out a breath and shook his head. Your shoulders eased at that and you relinquished your grip. 

 You two began the slow walk towards the clinic, hand in hand. The silence pooled uncomfortably. You felt the anxiety whirring in Dick’s body even as you walked. Your mind reached out to him.  You wanted to reassure him that you were ok but you were a terrible liar when it came to your family. You knew the world of horrendous possibilities that was swirling in Dick’s head. He dealt with the worst the world has to offer on a nightly basis. His guilt and worry licked at your consciousness like a fire spreading too quickly. Your skin buzzed with irritation. Still, you tapped your index and middle finger against the back of his hand. It took you far too long to realize that that gesture meant nothing to Dick. Your eyes widened, mind racing through all the possible ways to do damage control. But when Dick simply reciprocated the gesture, you finally started crying. 

Doc. Leslie giving you a mouthful was expected. What you didn’t count on was her swatting you over the head when you refused to tell her what happened. 

“It was a Racoon, I swear,” You said, earning you a swat over your head. Dick was snickering at the edge of your periphery. You stuck your tongue out at him which he returned in kind. Doc. Leslie looked between the two of you and ran her hand over her face. Her blood pressure was going through the roof. Doc. Leslie leveled you a stern look one only Alfred could match. You shrank and let her inspect the rest of your skin. It was still mottled from the hug but Doc. Leslie was familiar enough with your condition to distinguish it from any other abnormalities. 

Your mother might not have trusted hospitals but even she could see that Doc. Leslie was trustworthy. Or at least, competent enough.  

“I’m gonna call, B-”

“NO-” You screamed shooting up from the exam table, your eyes blown wide and wild with fear. “Please don’t call, Da- don’t call, B-” Dick looked at you, brow furrowed, his hand reaching out for you. You didn’t shrink away. Instead, for once, your mind pressed back. His face twisted in mild discomfort. “You can’t, Dick. Please. You- please.” You sounded pathetic even to your own ears. Your mind pressed again. This time Dick winced in pain. You flinched back, your mind retreating.

“Dick- I-” You had hurt him. You had hurt him. 

You have become something intolerable. You have become what you have always been.  

Merzost’. 

Abomination. 

Monster. 

You felt all the adrenaline from the past few hours leave you all at once. The room felt like it was swimming and shifting. You tried to mouth an apology but your tongue simply flailed uselessly failing you in such a crucial moment. 

The world faded and you heard yourself collapse onto the floor rather than feeling it. 

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The (h/c) haired woman towered over you. You were weeping and begging as you bleed on to the kitchen. You sniveled letting snot, drool, tears, and blood pool at the side of your face. At that moment, you were what the woman thought you were, a pathetic animal. Two sets of incandescent eyes bear down on you-one pitiless and one too young to truly comprehend what's happening.

You look into your own uncomprehending eyes as you bled out on the floor. 

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You woke up wild. 

Your arms flung over your face. 

Your flesh was raw.

Your breath was short. 

The world around you was muted against the memory. 

Piece by piece the world fell back into place. 

There was a monitor beeping beside you. The air smelled of antiseptic, not copper nor lilac. Your breaths slowed. 

Piece by piece you retrieved yourself from the nightmare. 

You shifted and settled into bed, remembering clearly now where you were. You were at Doc. Leslie’s. You weren’t in the apartment on Main or the house on Orange or Wayne Manor. You were in the clinic. You were safe. 

“It’s ok, y/n. You’re safe now, sweetheart. It’s ok.” You felt a large hand smoothing over your sweat-soaked hair, stroking your head gently. Your muscles uncoiled and you let yourself melt into the mattress. Your skin did not prickle. 

In the complete darkness of the room, your mind searched for him. Bruce looms over you, towering but unimposing as he usually did. His mind radiated of worry, of warmth, of kindness. You were going to be sick. 

“Papa?” You rasped. The word must have sounded like a shattering plate to Bruce because he froze. A cocktail of emotions seemed to swirl in his mind. You desperately wanted to take the word back but you wanted to call him that just once before he carted you off wherever it was you belonged. You did not wait for his mind to pick whichever unpleasant emotions it decided on. You were resigned to whatever fate was in store for you but you weren’t one to sit idly by and wait for it. 

“Pa- B- I- I-” You tightened your fists around the threadbare blanket in frustration. Your mind was well aware of what it had to lose by saying this. It was once again the loss of love and you honestly didn’t know if you could take that but knowledge, the waiting for the inevitable, felt far more agonizing at the moment.  “B, I- Woodfield.” At that, Bruce’s brow furrowed visibly through the cowl. His mind finally settled on confusion. The loss of discordance put you at ease. 

“Woodfield,” He repeated quietly. The gears turning in his head. His expression grew grimmer by the second. You could feel your life falling apart. It was no surprise that Bruce had already heard of what had happened to him. “Why would you go after him alone? Are you ok?”

Alone? 

You blinked at Bruce. You furrowed your brow. 

“Did he hurt you?”

“No,” You were certain but the answer came out wobbly and unsure. Bruce gave you a stern look, but your mind was far too preoccupied to actually react to it.

What did he mean by alone? 

You’ve been talking cases with Bruce for the last week, pestering him about letting you help out by sorting through documents. Being the fresh eyes for the case. 

Then you stumbled on Woodfield’s file. Then? Then what? 

You were in an alley. Your stomach revolted to prevent any more memories. 

Your arms shot up grabbing Bruce’s and pulling yourself up with what little strength you had. “Bruce, I ki-”

“He’s in the hospital-” You stared at Bruce searching his face for something. Whatever it was you couldn’t find it. You expected to feel some kind of relief. After all, you didn’t kill a man. You still maimed him. Your mind supplied unhelpfully. 

“Are you ok?” Bruce repeated.

“No,” You answered honestly. You felt numb. With a war of emotions clamoring in your chest, you simply stared at a wall.  You felt the bed dip. Bruce was now sitting beside you. You pulled your knees to your chest and bury your face into your arms. You couldn’t stand to look at him. You just- Your mind reached out. The shape and texture of his thoughts weren’t jagged. They were heavy. Heavy but not crushing. The bumps and little prickles of concern confused you. 

“B- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to- I tried to stop but- but he- I-”

Bruce pulled his cape off and wrapped it around you, the solid weight of it gathering you into something solid. It was a silent comforting gesture. From one affection allergic person to another. You gripped the cape, lip wobbling. You turned to Bruce expecting to see his eyes cold and calculating, the kind of eyes that sussed out your weaknesses. But when you actually looked at them, Bruce’s eyes only betrayed concern. You felt like you’ve been sucker-punched. 

Bruce placed a large hand on your head. Bruce looked at you as you were, a scared kid. Not a thing or an abomination or a monster. You were just a kid.  And with that, you conceded. You scooted closer. Hesitantly, resting your head on his arm. Bruce made no attempt to pull you into a hug and you thanked whatever was up there for that.  

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a/n: To anyone in my tag list who just wanted fluff, I am so fucking sorry. To anyone who had to read this in general, I apologize but I just wanted to write this.  Thank you for reading.  

Tag list:  @batarella, @anothertimdrakestan, @lucy-roo, @multifandomgirl-us, @idkmanicantenglish,@birdy-bat-writes,  @boosyboo9206, @americasmarauders , @l-horizon11, @arestorationofbalance (Thanks for the push), @cloudie-skay