#i was one of the first people to join it back in the day

[archives-of-a-hidden-writer]

Something Else Entirely

Thanos / Choi Su-Bong X Nonchalant!Cold!Reader

》Typing... |

》 [Entry No.005 - Something Else Entirely]|

》 Loading Archive Entry "Something Else Entirely" |

》 Location of Entry: Archivial's |

》 Notice: Entry Continuation of Archive Entry No.003

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》 Summary: Where, somehow, Thanos kept choosing you over his others without hesitation more often in the 3rd game, which led to confusion and feelings to be said. |

》 Warnings: SPOILERS TO EPISODE 5 / GAME 2 AND 3, Change of story(Both during possibly after the entry), Reader is player '457', Thanos chose to recruit you instead of Se-mi and Min-su in the 2nd game, Blood, Violence, Mentions of Drug Use, Spilled Confession(He screamed it out), Shouting, Swearing, slight not-so nsfw(PDA), Reader chose 'x' twice. |

》 Archive Entry Loaded ◇

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The next day in this damned place seemed to have passed by quickly as you and other players were now being transferred and walked towards the second game. Of course, this meant yesterday's voting system ended with continuing to the second game.

You knew everyone here had decided to play the games due to their debts, but unlike them, you didn't have that much debt in you to surpass the millions like the, but you dislike the thought of spending your hard-earned money on debts you barely even recall now. So the rounded-up cash after the first round was closely enough for you, making you choose to leave the games immediately.

But, of course, that didn't happen as you all entered a new room you deciphered as where the 2nd game would occur.

As the doors you all entered from closed, the first instruction was announced. To find a team in groups of 5.

Being the unphased person you are, you just waited for someone to ask you if you can join their team. As everyone scrambled to find people to join them, you walked around the area, awaiting for someone to ask you to join them.

Of course, that happened as someone shouted your number.

"457!" A voice called out from behind. You turned to see player 230, giving you a wave. You raised an eyebrow and asked, "Want me to join you guys?" You said, turning your full body torwards them.

Player 230 nodded with a big smile, clearly ignoring the 'x' patch on your jacket. "Sure is, do you know who I am?" He replied, pointing at himself as he asked the question. You raised your eyebrow again at this, "The infamous rapper, Thanos?" You answered, earning a thumbs up from Thanos and his two friends before freestyle rapping who he was.

After that, he asked for your name, in which you gave him a nickname instead, not wanting to give out anything that much yet. He then patted my shoulder and winked at me. "Don't worry, baby. I'll protect you," he said, giving me a finger heart. I just scoffed at his action, turning away as I noticed there were only four members. But soon after that, one of Thanos' friends found another player to join.

The announcer later spoke, telling everyone about the 2nd game's mechanic, the six-legged pentathlon. The mini-games given were said out, and you looked over to your teammates as they listened before settling on who would play which game. Luckily for them, you played gonggi in the past, so that game is yours to play once your team is up.

"Okay, you good with gonggi?" Player 124, which you now know as Nam-gyu, asked, earning a nod from you. They then started picking out their own games to choose and play later.

■■■

"Goddammit, a lot of people survived," Nam-gyu groaned as we noticed another batch of players enter the room again. All five of you finished the 2nd game, now waiting for every player to either lose or win.

You hummed in return as the thought last group entered the dormitory. You leaned back into the bunk's metal stands, deep in thought. However, it was soon diminished by Thanos slinging an arm across your shoulders.

He said your nickname and praised you for your game earlier, "You did amazing there!" Thanos exclaimed before imitating how you did in the 2nd game.

Soon, the 2nd game came to an end as the pink guards entered the room once more to announce the new amount.

You looked up at the piggy bank in the ceiling before darting back onto the screen above the pink guards, the price of money doubling its amount. To you, it was far more than enough for you.

■■■

"457, just one more round, 'kay?" Nam-gyu said, shaking you by your shoulders as he spoke. He took notice of the red patch, but you pushed him off, your mind had already decided from the start.

Thanos, of course, noticed this and stood between you and Nam-gyu, earning a confused look from Nam-gyu, but deciding on shrugging it off as Thanos being high on his ass again.

But little by little, you've noticed how close Thanos was to you, even back at the 2nd game, he sat close to you, and even during the games, he attempted to have a hand on you from behind.

You, at first, thought of it as him on his drugs, but soon, you started thinking otherwise. And those thoughts continued further as he seemingly blocked you off from Nam-gyu's persuasions despite wanting the same thing.

The voting commenced with player 001 being the first to vote, who chose 'x' this time around. Other players were soon called one-by-one.

As it continues around the halfway mark, player 001 suddenly disrupts the players, causing a scene throughout players that inevitably pushes players to play one more round, adding things like the games are for kids and it's that easy.

You just groaned at this scene, knowing well it will not end well for those who chose 'x'.

■■■

"... Shit..." you cursed out as you pressed 'x' with the voting barely reaching the 'o', making the games continue once again.

Of course, those who chose 'o' cheered in joy, including Nam-gyu. Meanwhile, Thanos slightly frowned, you still chose to choose to leave the game already. Knowing his gaze as well as Nam-gyu's, you decide to instead join those who also chose 'x'.

Meanwhile, on Thanos' side, Nam-gyu cursed at you as they watched you enter the bunks of the 'x's.

"... That bitch," Nam-gyu said, somehow earning a back slap from Thanos, "Oi, don't talk to them like that..." Thanos replied to him, yet still slightly upset how you didn't choose the same as them. Nam-gyu gave another look of confusion towards Thanos, he thinks he was acting a lot stranger than before, even if the excuse or reason was the drugs, it was still a little too out of character of him to act this way towards another player.

As you all do your things, the announcer sounds in to say night's out in half an hour, cue players to go, or find a relatively good bed in the bunks to sleep in.

You found a relatively good one in the middle, not too close to the middle but not too close to the walls as well as it was right next to one of the staircases in the bunks.

Soon, the lights started to dim, with players starting to cosy up under the covers of their bunks. You, as well, cosy up under the covers and sleep, escaping the world for a little while.

■■■

Later on, you stirred for a moment as you hear footsteps towards you. You were close to the stairs, so that's that, but you couldn't help but feel like the person was coming towards you.

And then, you heard someone call your nickname, "Oi, baby, you awake?" You recognised the voice as Thanos. You groaned at him in return, "I am now, thank you very much," You retorted as you turned away from him, "Leave me alone, I know you wanted something because I chose 'x'..." You added, noticing how he always screamed for 'o' in the votes.

He scoffed at that, if only you could see the smitten look on his face as he shook his head, "Not about that, but why did you leave our group, huh?" He asked, lightly shaking your shoulder, you groaned again and yanked his hand off.

"Really? An 'x' with four 'o's, you fucking high right now? And get back to you bunk, they might notice and eliminate your drugged ass," you retorted, slightly turning towards him before you noticed him moving towards the bed above yours and looking back at you, "There, better?" He asked, elbows propping him up as he placed his head on his palms. He was lucky with the darkness hiding the smitten look on him.

You scoffed at him before attempting to go back to sleep.

As you do so, Thanos kept looking at you. Sure, he may be getting questions from his friends the next day, but did he care? Something about you kept pulling him back to you, not like what he felt towards the dead 196. No, it was entirely different. Like the drugs he took, something he can't fully get away from, but unlike the drugs, it was something he would be unable to let go of.

■■■

The next day came by, and you awoke to see Thanos who actually slept on the bunk above yours. Damn, you thought to yourself, thinking whether this man has something towards you or he'd just like this towards new friends.

The time went by, and now you and the rest are being walked to the 3rd game with Thanos, of course, tailing behind you. Again, you were weirded out by this as his friends were somewhere else in the lines.

As you all entered the new place, a large area with 50 rooms surrounding it with a higher platform in the middle.

The 3rd game is about to begin.

■■■

"Going to leave us again, boss?" Nam-gyu called out to Thanos, approaching the purple-haired man. Two rounds in, Nam-gyu took notice of how Thanos' first instinct after each round was to find you as you always try and find other groups than theirs.

Thanos ignored Nam-gyu and continued to look for you. Then he did. He immediately bearhugged you and ruffled your hair.

He cheered your name, saying how glad he was that you're alive like him. You replied his actions by a pat of the back, continuing to be weirded out by the noticable difference in dynamics between how he acts around you and his friends.

Soon, the carousel started to slowly spin again, along with the same music to sang out.

"3!" The announcer said. The player then started to find players to complete the said amount. You immediately got into one and ran towards one of the rooms, not noticing Thanos calling for you. With that, Thanos kicked one of his friends out before screaming towards one of the rooms.

The half a minute timer came to an end, followed by rounds of shots and screams of those who didn't manage to get into a room.

■■■

"Fucking hell..." You cursed out, after another round, the players remained decreased as the 6th round of the game commenced, the platform below spinned slowly.

You were already exhausted from all the adrenaline and running from the previous rounds and games. You hoped this was the final round.

Meanwhile, Thanos kept a close eye on you, blatantly ignoring Nam-gyu once more, not wanting to hear another avertion coming from his friend. Of course, he noticed your exhaustion, and deep down is concerned. Even under all those drugs, he had a concern for you.

"2!" The announcer said, earning you mentally cursing at it. 50 rooms and over 100 players. If you won't die due to not being able to find a partner, then you might as well be eliminated for the inability to secure a room.

About to give out, you felt someone tug on you by the wrist and pull you out of the platform, followed by Nam-gyu's voice screaming out for Thanos. You looked to see the man, Thanos, holding your wrist as you both ran towards the rooms.

"The fuck- Hey!" You called out, but it was unheard as other players ran to get into their own rooms.

"What the fuck-!?" You cursed out, trying to free your wrist as you both entered one of the rooms. He finally lets go of you, "The hell is really wrong with you?!" You cursed out, "You've acting weird this entire time. The hell are you on 'cause that's not drugs," you added, extremely confused and weirded out by his actions. He remained silent. Only the sounds of players outside could be heard.

He mustered something but you couldn't quite hear it, "What was that?" You asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, I said what-" "Because I love you for fuck's sake!" Thanos let out, grabbing your shoulders and shaking, "God, every since! Just... Something in you are different, and it makes me insane!" He said.

Like the drugs he took, something he can't fully get away from, but unlike the drugs, it was something he would be unable to let go of.

You stared at him in slight shock, "What...?" You asked, wondering if you heard that right.

"Dammit, I fucking love you, alright? You're fucking intoxicating," he replied, lowering his head as if ashamed of the words that spilled his mouth.

Finally understanding his words, you tapped his cheek, making him look back at you before giving a small smile at him.

Forgetting the world around us, the door unlocked as the game finished. Slightly relieved at this, you looked back at Thanos before giving him a peck on the lips, ignoring the slight tang of iron from the blood that splattered on his face from previous games.

You exited the room after that, leaving the jaw-dropped man in the room as you attempted to blend back in the remaining players.

■■■

As your entered the dormitory once again, you felt someone tackle you once more, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he pulled you close.

"You shouldn't have left me like that, baby!" He whined, pulling you towards his original place in the bunks on the other side. You slightly felt a bit out of place considering your patch and the players surrounding you, but Thanos soon pushed those feelings away as he proudly exclaimed you at his friends, earning glances at Nam-gyu that speaks "So that's why he was acting like that," before nodding.

Soon, another voting would commence, but now getting close to Thanos, you wondered if you could continue this without him dying because of another game.

Now you have another reason to leave the games entirely.

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》 Archiver's Notes: As the winner of the voting log with no more than 2% more than another option, a continuation entry is done for the chaotic purple-haired man, Thanos.

[erin-unknown]

I don't really enough of a following anymore to actually play this game and wait for asks, but I still wanted to answer these questions. I'll just leave the answers here 💕

A little background for Dalgar Thorne, Grey Warden mage:

Born to elven farmers in the northeastern Anderfels, Dalgar was orphaned at the age of twelve and taken in by a pair of passing Grey Wardens, Casilda (Caz) Thorne and Olivier du Lac. He spent much of the next fifteen years of his life at a small outpost near Kassel, learning from several of his fellow Wardens, but primarily Caz and Olivier (who felt the most responsible for him). Caz was born in Rivain and trained as a seer until circumstances brought her to the Wardens. Olivier is a disgraced Orlesian duelist, once rather famous for their skill and showmanship, if only in the Free Marches.

Dalgar is personable and kind with a bit of a dumb, sometimes dark sense of humor. He can tap into a deep well of magic for some potent (if chaotic) spellwork and tends to act before thinking. He tries not to think too much in general, if he can help it.

He is very close with both Neve and Lucanis and romances Neve in the game, but I'm entertaining the idea that these three work out a polyam triad in the following years. The chemistry is just there. What can I say?

🌻 Dalgar is twenty eight. I think he’s forgotten that people celebrate birthdays; he never did back on the farm and Caz never thought to celebrate either (she’d defend herself by insisting that she wasn’t his mother). Her partner, Olivier, made up for this by frequently giving him useful items or sweets (an easy win with Dalgar).

The gift that has meant the most to him wasn’t a birthday gift; after Caz died (Dalgar was 21), Olivier gifted him her old, enchanted greatcoat. He's worn it every day since.

🪻 Dalgar suffered burns across his face and body from an accident at the age of 12. He awoke from a nightmare (a common occurrence) surrounded by fire that he had summoned in his sleep (not common). The fire burned down his home, the family farm, and his neighbors’ farms.

He was barely conscious for several days and has no real recollection of this time; the first solid memory he has is Caz healing the worst of his burns with the help of a spirit. She and Olivier inform him that he has been brought into Warden custody (his neighbors were out for blood) and present him with two choices: agree to train as a Warden and eventually take the Joining, or go to the Chantry, where Caz warns he will likely be forced into Tranquility (she doesn’t elaborate on why she is so certain of this and he never asks).

🌹 First fight? I’m actually not sure; he’ll avoid an argument forever, so it probably wouldn’t happen until after the game is over and the realities of day-to-day life start to settle in. Maybe something that seems small but is symptomatic of a larger issue.

🌸 Dalgar is an only child and, although he was one of several children nearby, he was the only elven child, so he resorted to being a clown so as not to be singled out or left behind. It's something he still relies on as an adult. When he came into his magic at nine years old, he was told to hide it (so he could stay on the farm), and it became harder to maintain any connections outside his father.

After joining the Wardens, he was the only child for miles but he grew very fond of the Wardens at the outpost and treated several of them like family (including Caz and Olivier).

🌾 Dalgar would be very susceptible to a Despair or Isolation spirit; he clings hard to hope, or the idea of hope at least, in as many ways as he can. He also finds what reassurance he can in the people around him. Any reminder at all, literal or figurative, that he’s not alone in his fight could help him find his way out.

🌱 Growing up with the Wardens left him pretty free with his physical affection. Caz and Olivier were committed but not exclusive, and the few Wardens around his age were living with the notion of death around every corner, so why not seize the day? Dalgar had never been in anything committed or long-term until Neve.

🌼 Dalgar smells like sorrow, the Fade, and hearth fire.

🌷 Dalgar would look for a tavern or café – somewhere he can sit in a corner and people-watch. He’s not used to not being surrounded by people, so this is the closest he’ll venture towards solitude. There he might read something or draw (he likes to draw).

If he’s not looking for solitude, he’d pester Davrin into taking Assan out for a walk or drag Neve and Lucanis out for a meal or something.

🥀 Caz would definitely be in Dalgar’s regret prison; although she was the one who made him swear to become a Warden when he was of age, she actually changed her mind over the years. Caz never told him directly, but instead kept finding reasons for him not to take the Joining until her death out in the field. This frustrated and confused him and ultimately complicated his grief.

When Dalgar was finally free to partake in the Joining, he did, determined to prove something to Caz’s memory and his own growing doubts. He struggles with this decision to this day; vaguely aware that Caz didn’t want this life for him, it feels a like a betrayal. He also feels guilty for wondering what might have been if he had gone his own way.

🪷 Dalgar is afraid of the dark.

🍀 Dalgar’s almost died several times in his life, starting with nearly being trampled by horses as a small child and most recently avoiding getting torn in half by a Reaver. He tries not to think about any of it too much, during or after. He survived, after all.

💐 Dalgar adores Evka and Antoine. He’s grateful that they put up with him and, although he’s mostly unconscious of this, their support and encouragement have gone a long way in making him feel at home again among the Wardens since he lost Caz.

🌺 He doesn’t remember much from before he joined the Wardens and everything he owned burned with his home, but he does fondly remember evenings with the Wardens during the colder months, toasting chestnuts at the hearth in the mess hall.

Olivier started this annual tradition after Dalgar first arrived at the outpost, to get him and the Wardens at the outpost accustomed to each other. Dalgar doesn’t know that.

🌿 No tattoos. (I might change my mind)

🍂 Dalgar doesn’t think about killing if he can help it. Darkspawn are a plague to be eradicated and it’s his sworn duty to combat the blight, so his feelings around them are not particularly complex.

In contrast, the first time he killed a person (a Venatori cult member), he accidentally looked them in the eye, and it kept him up at night for weeks afterwards. He’s grateful most of their enemies wear masks.

Spirits dying feel like a breaking wave to him. He doesn’t enjoy the sensation at all, but it does make him curious; it’s almost like a part of them still exists out in the ether. Dalgar finds something reassuring in that, although he couldn’t articulate why.

I have a handful of different Rooks, but Dalgar has been my favorite so far. When I have the energy, I'm writing for him! It's been nice.

Woe! Rook ask game be upon ye!

🌻 How old is your Rook? How do they feel about celebrating their birthday? What gift has meant the most to them? 🪻 What is the most painful injury your Rook has received? How has it affected them once it healed/scarred? 🌹 What’s the first genuine fight Rook got in with their love interest about? How was it resolved? 🌸 Does your Rook have any siblings or close friends they see as such? Where are they during the events of Veilguard? 🌾 If there was a demon trying to trap/take over Rook, what kind would be the most successful? What would break their hold? 🌱 Was Rook involved romantically with anyone before Veilguard? What was their partner like? How did the relationship end? 🌼 If someone was to ask Spite what Rook smells like, what would he say? 🌷If Rook needed to get away from their responsibilities for a moment, where would they go? Where is their safe space outside the Lighthouse? 🥀 What figure from Rook’s personal past would be added to the regret prison? 🪷 Does your Rook have an irrational phobia? (ie spiders or large man-made objects submerged underwater) 🍀 Has Rook had any near-death experiences? What went through their mind during what they thought was going to be their final moments? 💐 What is the relationship Rook has with their faction mentor? What was the moment they sent Rook away like? 🌺 Is there an object from Rook’s childhood they look back on fondly? (ie a favorite stuffed animal, book, or food) 🌿 Does your Rook have any tattoos? What was the moment when they got them like? If they’re a Crow where is their de Riva brand located? What vallaslin do they have/how did they earn it if they’re Dalish? 🍂 What was it like the first time Rook killed someone? How did they react afterwards?

[libraryofloveletters]

Stuck

Charles Leclerc x Fem!Reader

Warnings: snowball fights. nonsense from charles, joris and andrea, surrendering if that even counts lmao and one kiss.

Word Count: 643

Author's Note: welcome to the holiday extravaganza 2024! I've left y'all without for quite a bit. hopefully this makes up for the lack of stuff :) happy holidays! <3

--

Prompt: “I'm stuck! White flag! I surrender!”

Northern Italy was cold, snowy and windy. Despite your best efforts, your boyfriend was determined to get everyone out of bed and on the slopes today.

You had regretted joining them on their pre season trip. You wanted to curl up by the fire, read your book and not be disturbed but your boyfriend, Charles, and his two sidekicks, Joris and Andrea, were all trouble wrapped up in snow pants.

They had decided that today would be an off day from training, that you'd all just relax. You thought you'd finally get a day in with your boyfriend instead of being dragged to multiple training sessions.

Their idea of relaxing was apparently skiing in the freezing temperature.

You trekked through the snow, Charles carrying your skis as you followed between him and Joris. You had done a few runs down the slope before giving up, sitting in the snow at the base off to the side. Joris joined you shortly after, letting Charles and Andrea make their way back up the slopes.

Watching as some other people skied down, you hear Joris yell. "Hey!" before something cold hits your arm.

"I know you did not just throw a snowball at me." You look at the man, a sheepish smile on his face. You and Joris had quickly become friends after you began dating Charles; the two of you acting like siblings.

Joris runs away as you form the snow into a ball, tossing it in his direction. The two of you chase each other, tossing snow in the direction of the other.

"Stop running, you started this!" You shouted, the snowball in your hand.

Tossing it at Joris, you missed his head but hit your boyfriend right in the face as he got to the bottom of the slope. Charles stops there, stunned and now cold. His glove on the floor as he brushes off the snow, rubbing some warmth into his face again.

You can't help but laugh, hand over your mouth as you giggle. "I'm so sorry, babe. I meant to hit Joris." You glance at his friend who was a few feet away in a fit of laughter.

"Yeah, no problem, love." Charles says, smiling at you. You smile back, turning around to get some more snow before planning to get Joris. Before you can do that, you feel something hit your back.

Charles smiles at you, snow on his glove. "Oops. I was aiming for Andrea." He tells you, the older man now coming down the slope; his lie uncovered.

"Oh, it's on!" You shout at him, throwing the snowball intended for Joris at Charles. It takes a few seconds for you to get some more snow in hand, meanwhile Andrea is throwing snowballs at Joris and indirectly forming teams; you and Joris vs Charles and Andrea.

The 4 of you are like children, fighting over who's gonna get who next and making a mess at the bottom of the slopes. It wasn't until Charles tripped over his own feet and fell face first into the fluffy white snow that you all stopped.

You look at Joris and Andrea, the three of you exchanging a look that said everything you needed to say without saying a word.

Before Charles could get up, you were all throwing snowballs at him. The Monegasque driver was barely able to turn over and throw his hands up.

“I'm stuck! White flag! I surrender!” He says between giggles, the snowballs halt and Andrea goes to pull him out of the snow.

You walk over, brushing the snow off of your boyfriend's face. You smile at him, kissing his cold cheek. Charles gives you a half pout, "that was so mean."

"Pay back for hitting me with a snowball, my love." You patted his chest, walking off.

Charles called after you, "you hit me first!"

[kitty6choi]

𝑬𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆

𝑆𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠: The memory of his betrayal is still present in your mind, but you decide to leave it behind now that you are at peace, but when an old friend asks you for a favor, you cannot refuse without imagining that you will relive some feelings that you thought you had buried.

𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: Song Mingi x fem! reader

𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: smut MDNI + little angust + mafia au + loves from the past

𝑊𝑜𝑟��� 𝐶𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 9.2k (damn it)

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: Fights, physical injuries, blood, aggression, violence, hidden identity, sexual warnings: unprotected sex (don't do it), semi-public sex, fingering, mutual masturbation, creampie, (sorry if I forgot anything)

A/N: First of all, sorry for the delay, December was very frustrating for me and it wasn't very pleasant and I needed a little break, but now I'm better so I was finally able to finish this fic and I'm very proud, I hope you like it <3 English is not my first language so sorry if I made a mistake.

⋆｡˚୨𝖬𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍୧˚｡⋆

With hurried steps, you adjusted the cap over your hair and pulled up the collar of your jacket. You were fleeing from the sirens echoing in the distance. It wasn’t anything new for you, and you knew it wouldn’t stop being part of your life because of the bad decisions you’d made in the past. This was your life now, and there was nothing else you could do but survive.

What started as small thefts to eat or find something to keep you warm turned into a desperate search for shelter. That’s how you ended up seeking help from dangerous people. The Black Eye wasn’t just a group of petty criminals; they were an organized, ruthless network—and, for you, the last chance to keep living.

Despite your efforts, you knew you were at a disadvantage because you were a woman. But if you had to hide that fact to survive, you would do it. The hardest part was cutting your hair, but you did it. Then, you wrapped your chest with bandages, wore loose-fitting clothes, and finally, you began calling yourself “Lee.” You tried not to speak too much and always wore a cap to hide your face, hoping no one would ask too many questions. That’s how you managed to catch the attention of one of their members.

They tested you for a couple of months before deciding to present you to their leader. You were nervous, cold sweat trickling down your back, but you kept calm as you waited in a room. Then, the doors opened, and two people walked in. One of them was tall and muscular, with multiple scars on his face. From his imposing presence, you guessed he was the leader, Jack. The other person entered calmly, taking his time to assess the room silently but with sharp alertness.

“Is this the new recruit?” the second person asked in a deep, curious voice.

“Yes, Mingi, this is Lee,” another man replied, shoving you forward. He was the recruiter who had "guaranteed" your entry into the group.

Mingi approached you, observing you for a long moment, watching how you lowered your gaze and hid your hands in your pockets.

“Why do you want to join us?” he finally asked. His voice was low, almost gentle, but heavy with authority.

“I need protection. And you need someone who knows how to navigate the streets,” you replied, your voice firm but calm.

“You better be useful, Lee,” he said, pronouncing your false name with authority. You knew that from now on, you belonged to the gang, and he was making your place clear. “There’s no room for the weak here.”

“You’re in,” the other man said before turning and leaving the room, leaving you with the assurance that you’d live to see another day.

Your days of trying to survive on your own had now turned into trying to hide your true identity to keep living. It was hard, but over time, you learned to manage. You avoided interacting with the members and rarely spoke to anyone unless it was absolutely necessary. Still, there were a few moments when you were almost discovered.

You tried to blend in, and for most people, you succeeded—except for one. Song Mingi. He always seemed to notice everything, and for the past few months, he hadn’t taken his eyes off you. It was starting to get annoying.

One day, after a mission went slightly out of control, you returned to the abandoned warehouse that served as the gang’s base. A voice you knew all too well called your name.

“Lee, come here.” You turned to see Mingi in the distance and dragged your feet toward him “I have to admit, I’m surprised you made it back,” he said.

You rolled your eyes. He always said before every mission that he didn’t expect you to return, but you made it back just to see his irritated expression.

“Get used to it, Song. I’ll be here for a while,” you replied, a bit defiantly, raising your head to meet his gaze despite his towering height.

Mingi stared at you, tilting his head slightly, and let out a low chuckle—but there was no humor in it. With a swift motion, before you could react, he grabbed your face firmly, his nails digging into your cheeks.

“Listen closely,” he said, leaning in, his voice dropping but his grip unrelenting as you struggled to free yourself by clutching his hand. “There’s no place here for someone like you.” You froze at his words, fear flashing in your eyes as you locked gazes with him. Then, without warning, he shoved you hard, making you fall to the ground “Get out,” he said coldly.

The days didn’t get any better, and you began questioning whether you had made the right decision. But the fear of what might happen if you left the gang kept you in place—even if it meant enduring Mingi watching your every move.

One day, the gang organized one of its oldest traditions: an internal fighting tournament. It was a way to measure strength, prove who was worthy and who wasn’t, and keep the members sharp for real confrontations. The atmosphere in the warehouse was charged with excitement and pent-up violence, as shouts and bets filled the space.

You didn’t want to be there, but you thought staying alone in the rooms would make you stand out more. Blending into the crowd seemed safer—or so you thought. The fight was entertaining, but it didn’t excite you as much as it did the people around you. Still, you forced yourself to watch and analyze the movements of both fighters. To no one’s surprise, the expected victor won. He had five consecutive wins under his belt, and now, as his sixth opponent lay defeated, no one wanted to face him.

“Who’s next?” the winner shouted, scanning the crowd for his next victim. Everyone took a step back, and silence began to fill the room. You noticed how some were shoving the newer recruits forward. From afar, you felt a gaze on you. You looked up, only to lock eyes with Mingi, who was staring at you intently, a smile on his face.

“Lee, maybe you should go next,” Mingi said suddenly, breaking the silence. You cursed him in your mind as all eyes turned to you. You began searching for an excuse to decline, but you knew Mingi wouldn’t let this opportunity pass “You should earn your place, rookie,” he said, taunting you. The murmurs of the crowd grew louder “Or do you think you don’t deserve it?” he added, provoking you further.

You felt hands pushing you toward the ring. With your heart pounding, you climbed into the makeshift ring as the crowd gathered around, shouting bets and cheering for the fight.

You glanced at Mingi behind the crowd and sighed, cursing him under your breath before turning to face your opponent. He was a tall, muscular man whose muscles seemed to have muscles. His angry expression only highlighted how eager he was for this fight.

You took a step back, but hands pushed you forward. Then, the bell rang, signaling the start of your defeat.

You didn’t even try. You knew you had no chance. You simply closed your eyes as you saw the man’s fist coming straight for your face, bracing for the impact. His punch knocked the air out of you in one blow. You thought that would be enough to stop him, but you didn’t expect him to climb on top of you and continue his brutal assault.

Everything around you grew blurry. The crowd’s cheers faded into the distance. You didn’t fight back—not even a little. You let the darkness take over.

When you opened your eyes again, you wished you hadn’t. A sharp pain coursed through your entire body, as if a train had run you over. Despite the agony, you tried to move to figure out where you were until something stopped you.

“Don’t move,” a deep voice ordered. You turned your head to see Mingi sitting nearby, arms crossed. He looked worried, though he tried to hide it behind a mask of seriousness.

“What happened?” you asked, staying still.

“You got beaten up,” he said bluntly. “Then you passed out.”

You let out a dry laugh. “Well, thanks to you.”

Mingi sighed deeply, watching as you struggled to sit up. He seemed angry—not at you, but at himself.

“I didn’t think this would happen,” he said, his frustration evident.

“Whatever,” you muttered, attempting to stand, but the pain in your left side was unbearable. “Damn it.”

“Let me help you,” Mingi offered, stepping closer. You flinched, fear sparking within you as he approached. The sudden movement made you wince in pain again.

“I can handle it.”

“No, you can’t,” he snapped, taking another step forward. You tried to back away, but with your injuries and his speed, you couldn’t stop him from grabbing your arm.

“Stop moving,” he commanded. You wanted to fight him off, but there wasn’t a trace of strength left in your body. He pushed you gently back onto the mattress and lifted your hoodie.

His expression darkened instantly. His hand froze mid-motion as he realized the truth.

“You…” His voice came out uneven, words escaping him as the realization sank in. Everything finally clicked in his mind. “Why?”

You didn’t respond. You didn’t have the energy to argue, especially over something like this. You simply waited for the worst to come.

And it did, far sooner than expected. The door to the room opened, and the leader walked in. Mingi snapped out of his daze as Jack approached you, his face a mix of concern and curiosity.

“How are you?” Jack asked, ignoring the tension hanging in the air.

“I…”

“can’t stay,” Mingi’s voice rang out, cutting through the room. Fear surged in you as you silently begged him with your eyes to keep the secret. But the doubt in his gaze told you all hope was lost “It's a woman,” Mingi declared. The words echoed in the room, followed by silence so profound that all you could hear was the pounding of your heart.

Jack’s gaze shifted to you, filled with a mix of astonishment and concern. After a long, heavy sigh, he finally spoke.

“I know.”

“What?!” Both you and Mingi exclaimed at the same time, equally stunned. You thought Jack would throw you out right then and there, not admit he already knew.

“How…?” you asked, still in shock.

“Since when?” Mingi demanded angrily. “And why didn’t you tell me?”Jack leaned against the wall, crossing his arms “Since the beginning. It was kind of obvious, if you ask me,” he said, looking directly at you. “You were shorter than most, and your appearance was different. You stood out. It wasn’t hard to figure out.” Mingi stepped forward, but Jack continued “I let you join because I wanted to see how far you’d go on your own—until this idiot decided to intervene.” Mingi lowered his head like a scolded dog.

“Even so, she can’t stay,” Mingi insisted.

“She absolutely can. And you, you damned fool, will shut your mouth and act like you saw nothing,” Jack ordered.

“But she can’t defend herself!”

“This is your fault,” Jack shouted, his voice rising. “I told you to leave Lee alone, and now she’s hurt. From now on, she’s your responsibility. If anything happens to her, I’ll kill you.”

Mingi clenched his fists, his face red with fury and frustration. Without another word, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

You were left in confusion, unable to comprehend what had just happened. Everything felt strange and surreal. Jack approached you, and you looked at him, still processing.

“Why?” you finally asked.

“That doesn’t matter,” Jack replied.You let out a tired sigh, too drained to argue. You just wanted to rest.

“Mingi’s a good person, but sometimes he’s an idiot,” Jack said. “He’ll look after you. You don’t have to worry; no one will find out your secret. You’re safe here.”You decided to believe his words. You didn’t want to fight anymore “Now rest. Everything will be fine.”

******

The first few months were tense. You were still recovering and couldn’t do much more than linger around. Even so, Mingi was always nearby, watching you with a mix of frustration and curiosity in his eyes. He made sure no one got too close to you, even if it meant getting into fights with other gang members. His constant presence annoyed you, but it was also a relief. You knew that, despite everything, he was keeping his word to protect you.

When you felt ready to return to the streets, Mingi stopped you, and Jack agreed. You had no choice but to stay in the warehouse, but you didn’t waste your time. You started training to be prepared—you didn’t want to end up on the ground again.

It was nighttime, and everyone else seemed to be asleep, but the sound of your fists hitting the old punching bag echoed throughout the space. Your punches were clumsy, and you felt exhaustion in your arms with each hit, but you refused to give up. You needed to learn to defend yourself.

“You’re terrible,” his deep voice said behind you, making you freeze. You turned quickly to see Mingi leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching you with that irritating smile.

“What do you want, Song?”

“Nothing. The noise woke me up, that’s all. Go on,” he said, gesturing toward the bag hanging in front of you.

“If you’re not going to help, then leave,” you replied, rolling your eyes before turning back to the bag and hitting it again, ignoring him.

He walked toward you slowly, letting out an exaggerated sigh. Standing behind you, he took your wrists in his large hands before you could protest, adjusting them into a different position. His touch was firm but surprisingly gentle.

“Like this. Keep your fists tighter, and don’t just use your arms. You need to involve your whole body in the punch.” His closeness made you nervous. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck and the warmth of his body just behind yours. You shivered but tried to focus on his words.

“Now, try again,” he said, releasing you slowly.

You took a deep breath and threw another punch at the bag, following his instructions. This time, your punch felt stronger.

“Better,” he said with a smile, nodding in approval.

“Whatever.” You couldn’t help but glance at him out of the corner of your eye. There was something in his expression, in the way he looked at you, that made your heart beat faster. “Thanks.” You didn’t know where those words came from, but somehow, they made the air in the room feel lighter.

“You’ve done enough for tonight,” he said quickly, his voice rougher than before. “Get some rest. We’ll continue tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“This is just the first step, Lee.” He turned and walked toward the exit, but before leaving, he paused for a moment to look back at you as you struggled to steady the strange rhythm of your heart.

"Again."Your heart was pounding, and every muscle in your body screamed with exhaustion, but all you could hear was Mingi's voice "Harder."Your hands were bruised and swollen, yet you didn’t stop throwing punches "Harder." You focused on everything Mingi had taught you over the past few weeks—firm feet, clenched fists, channeling your strength. But there was something more, something raw. The anger you’d suppressed for years surged within you, blinding and heavy with sadness.

On your final punch, you released everything you’d been holding inside. Your body gave out, and you collapsed to your knees, gasping for air. Mingi rushed to your side, helping you sit down somewhere nearby as he handed you a bottle of water.

“Shit, don’t scare me like that.”You shoved him away and tried to stand, ready to continue, but he grabbed your arm “Take a break.”

“I can’t,” you said breathlessly. “I need to be ready for tomorrow.”

“You’re not fighting.”

“You can’t stop me, Song.” Mingi gripped your shoulders, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” His words caught you off guard, and before you could respond, he stepped closer. He was so close now that you could barely think.“Not again.” The overwhelming silence was filled with an unfamiliar sensation in your chest.

In recent weeks, the two of you had spent hours training together. At first, it was just a few hours a night, but over time, the darkness of the night wrapped you both in an odd honesty. You talked about things you never planned to share. He told you how he ended up in the gang, and for the first time in years, you told someone the truth about your past.

“I’m ready,” you said firmly. “And neither you nor anyone else is going to stop me.” You pulled away from his grasp and headed toward the exit, but you heard his hurried footsteps behind you.

“What are you trying to prove?” You turned slightly to look at him and sighed.

“It’s not about that. The world is cruel to someone like me.” You knew he understood you meant being a woman, and his expression softened with compassion “And I won’t let them leave me on the ground again.”

Mingi didn’t know how to respond. You gave him one last glance, noticing a vulnerability in him that you had never seen before. And in that moment, you realized your feelings for Mingi were starting to change.

The boy who once seemed like your greatest enemy had become your only source of security in a dangerous world. And though neither of you would admit it, something was growing between you—something neither of you knew how to handle amidst the darkness surrounding you.

The next day, Mingi promised himself not to interfere. But as the fights began, he couldn’t stop scanning the crowd for you. Not seeing you anywhere made him tense. If Jack found out you’d joined the fights again, he’d kill him—but what mattered most to Mingi was knowing where you were.

The matches dragged on, and he began to relax, thinking you wouldn’t show. But when the final winner was announced and the event was wrapping up, he saw a shadow cross the ring and step into the center.

“This isn’t over,” you declared loudly.

“Get off the ring, Lee!” someone shouted. “They’ll beat you up again!”

Mingi watched as a dark shadow crossed your face, and your eyes took on a hardened, almost menacing look.

“Why don’t you try it?” Everyone fell silent, shocked at your boldness. You’d always flown under the radar, but this was new—and it sparked curiosity in some “Or are you scared?”

The crowd erupted, people pushing and shoving to see who would step up to face you. Mingi tried to get to you, but the chaos of the crowd held him back.

Finally, someone stepped into the ring, facing you. You raised your fists, and he laughed before getting into position.

“You’re done for.”

“We’ll see.”

The bell rang, and the man lunged at you with speed. But you easily dodged him and drove your elbow into his side. He stumbled, turning to glare at you, realizing this wasn’t going to be as easy as he thought.

Adrenaline coursed through your body. You were exhausted, your lungs begging for rest, but you couldn’t stop—not now. The man threw punches aimed at your face, and you dodged as best as you could. The crowd’s shouts blurred into the background as you focused entirely on the emotions spilling out with every strike.

Rage consumed you as you drove a punch into his face, your body moving on its own as you continued to rain blows on the unconscious man beneath you.

Hands pulled you away as the crowd erupted into cheers. You looked up and could barely make out your name being chanted amidst the chaos—you had won.

Mingi shoved his way through the throng, crossed the ring, and ran to you. You thought he was coming to congratulate you, but his furious expression said otherwise.

“Enough!” he shouted, his voice silencing the crowd instantly “This is over.” People protested, but Mingi didn’t back down “I said it’s over!”

Reluctantly, the crowd began to disperse. You turned to leave, but he grabbed your hand and dragged you down the hallways until you were alone in a room.

“Let me go,” you demanded, struggling against his grip.

He didn’t release you until he closed the door behind you both, shutting out the rest of the world.

“What were you thinking?” Mingi paced back and forth, running a hand through his hair “They could’ve hurt you or worse…” His voice was thick with anger and desperation, tinged with something that sounded like worry.

“But they didn’t.” He sighed and gave you a once-over, his gaze lingering on your bloodied hands. You quickly hid them behind you.

Mingi stepped closer, taking your hands into his. For a moment, it looked like it pained him to even look at them. Your knuckles were torn, and the pain was unbearable, though you refused to admit it.

“Let me help you.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” he said firmly, guiding you to the bathroom and making you sit down. “Stay still.”

Without waiting for your permission, he grabbed a small first aid kit from a nearby shelf. His movements were deliberate but gentle as he cleaned your knuckles with a damp cloth. You shut your eyes, biting your lip to stifle a groan.

“This is going to sting,” he warned, pouring antiseptic over your wounds.

“Could you be gentler?” you hissed, pulling one hand back, but he caught it with ease.

“If you were more careful, I wouldn’t have to do this.”

His eyes locked onto yours, and the air between you felt charged with something that went beyond physical pain.

The silence stretched as he wrapped your hands in bandages. His fingers were surprisingly tender, and for a moment, you forgot the pain and exhaustion. His closeness overwhelmed you, the warmth of his skin sending your senses into overdrive.

“Mingi…” you began, but didn’t know how to finish.

“What?” he asked, his voice softer now, almost a whisper.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do,” he replied, his tone filled with an intensity that took your breath away. “Because if I don’t, who will?”

His gaze held yours, and something in his expression shifted. There was vulnerability, honesty, you’d never seen in him before.

Time seemed to freeze as his hand lingered on yours. His eyes flicked down to your lips for a split second, and a wave of nervous energy swept through you.

“Mingi…”

Before you could say anything else, he leaned in and his lips brushed against yours. The kiss was hesitant at first, almost as if he were unsure. But when you didn’t pull away, it deepened, filled with a desperation that mirrored the chaos around you.

Your heart raced as you closed your eyes, letting the walls between you crumble entirely. His lips moved against yours with a mix of urgency and relief, as if this moment had been inevitable all along.

When he pulled back, you were both breathless. His gaze searched yours, and what you saw wasn’t his usual cocky demeanor but something raw and genuine. You didn’t know what to say, so you simply looked at him, letting the gravity of what had just happened settle between you. The world outside faded away, leaving only this fragile moment the first kiss in a place as dangerous as it was unexpected.

“No…” you said suddenly, breaking the atmosphere. “This…”

“Please, don’t say it.”

“Mingi, I…” you didn’t know what to do. You had never experienced anything like what you were feeling in your body. This was new and strange, and you were scared, unsure of what to do or say.

“Please, don’t push me away,” he pleaded, holding your waist and looking at you with eyes full of desperation.

“I’m scared,” you confessed, letting the tears well up in your eyes. Mingi hugged you, letting you sob into his chest as he gently stroked your back to comfort you.

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of you,” he said softly. You looked up for a moment, and for the first time in your life, you let the walls around you crumble.

“Do you promise?”

“I will never leave you,” he assured you. His words struck you deeply, and you trusted him. You let his arms wrap around you, comforting you for the night, not knowing it wouldn’t be the only time he would do so.

*******

Time only made your feelings for Mingi grow. It became harder and harder to hide it from others, as being near him felt like standing on fire. Every glance, every slight touch from him made your heart race. Whenever you had the chance to be alone, Mingi would pin you against the wall, pressing his lips to yours, his hands wandering over your body. But you always stopped him when he tried to touch you beneath your clothes. He never insisted, and you were grateful for that, though deep inside, you wanted it too. Yet you were scared—it was something you'd never done before, and you feared it wouldn’t go right.

Mingi never let anyone get close to you. On the missions you shared, he was always by your side, never leaving you alone. Sometimes, when someone bothered you, Mingi made sure to put them in their place, even if it ended in a fight.

You knew this life wasn’t easy—it never was—but there were moments when it felt unbearable. Sometimes you wondered what you had done to deserve this. Sometimes you wished for an easier life, for loving parents, for school, to fall in love under different circumstances, to be a normal girl who could dress up in beautiful clothes without needing to hide to protect herself.

With tear-filled eyes and a heavy heart, your feet led you to Mingi’s room. You hesitated before knocking on his door but eventually did. A few seconds later, he stood in front of you, and without waiting for anything, you wrapped your arms around him, seeking the comforting warmth of his body.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can I sleep with you?” you asked, knowing it was risky, knowing it was dangerous, but you had no other safe place to go. “Just for tonight,” you pleaded.

“Alright.”

You had only been in his room once before—the day everything began, that afternoon when he had tended to your wounds and shared that first kiss with you. “Is everything okay?” he asked as he closed the door.

“No.” With him, you had the chance to be honest, and you never held back from telling him the truth. “I’m tired.” Mingi hugged you tightly, trying to ease the weight from your body.

“Come here.”

You both lay down on the small bed, and you curled up against his chest. It was the first time you’d been this close, yet somehow, it felt as if you had done it a thousand times.

“Mingi,” you said, lifting your gaze to meet his eyes. “If there were another life… do you think this would be different?”

His silence made your chest tighten slightly, but then his hand caressed your cheek with tender compassion.

“If there were another life, I wouldn’t care how it was, as long as I could be by your side.”

Without being able to help it, you pushed yourself up and kissed him, unloading all your sorrow into his mouth, all those thoughts you had you left on his lips for a moment, you didn't want to think about anything other than him. His kisses became desperate and hungry, you felt that intense heat on your body and his hands holding you tightly did nothing but want it. You separated from him for a moment and lifted your sweatshirt, but he stopped you.

“No… I don't want you to do this if you're not ready.”

“Mingi… I want to do it” you wanted him to touch you, you wanted his mouth to run over your skin and show yourself to him without any barrier, you wanted him to see you as you were. You took off your sweatshirt and Mingi looked down at the bandage that covered your breasts, you took a breath and began to take it off, a part of you felt relieved to take it off as you showed yourself as you were in front of him and a part of you was afraid.

When you finished your breathing was labored at the sight, Mingi had bitten his lip and seemed to be struggling with something inside of him. You took one of his hands and placed it on one of your breasts as you sat on his lap.

“Please… say something” you begged as you saw how he closed his eyes.

“You are beautiful,” he said before kissing you again.

That night they both gave more than their bodies, they put their hearts in their hands and gave it to the other, letting the moon be the only witness of their love.

*********

In all the times they had had a mission they had never failed, but this time everything seemed different, everyone was divided and the sound of sirens was heard getting closer, they couldn't get out of the place, they were surrounded and the bullets in their weapons had run out a while ago.

“Shit” Mingi growled at your side hiding “we will get out of this” he told you taking your hand without caring if anyone saw them.

The years had passed faster than you thought, but in that time neither of you hesitated to walk away from the other, even when Jack warned them about the rumors that ran through the gang, Mingi didn't care if they assumed things and neither did you, even so, they tried to be discreet and give themselves only in the shadows.

“I’m scared” you said with tears in your eyes

“Everything will be okay” a loud bang was heard and you both looked out just to see the opportunity to leave, someone had broken the glass of the door “okay, let’s go” he said without letting go of your hand heading to the exit, but before you could get there you felt a strong blow to the head that made you let go of his hand.

Mingi noticed immediately and lunged at the person who had hit you, you tried to get up, but everything was spinning and you felt something hot dripping down your forehead. You touched your head and were not surprised to see your hand red, you took a breath and tried to look for Mingi, but everything seemed to go slower and slower and the sound of sirens resonated in your ears at the same time as someone screamed.

“We have to go” “It’s too late” “They’re here” “Leave him”

You couldn’t bear the pain any longer and you closed your eyes for a moment. You wanted Mingi to take you in his arms, you wanted to feel the warmth of his body comforting you again and hear his voice telling you that everything would be okay, but all you could feel was the cold of the floor and the only thing you could feel was the unbearable pain in your head. You looked up for a moment and wanted to believe that what you saw was a bad dream, that it was just a figment of your imagination, but something inside you broke when you saw Mingi running away from you leaving you alone.

********

Five years had to pass before you could get out of prison, but those five years couldn't make you forget the day you opened your eyes and realized that you had lost everything again and you were alone again. The day Mingi decided to abandon you and leave you behind, that day remained engraved like ink on your skin all this time.

No matter how many times you repeated it and tried to make it less painful, it always felt like a million needles were stuck in your heart and crushed at the same time, it was a slow and raw pain that became more unbearable every second.

The day you got out of prison you looked at the sky as if it were the first time, you let the sun's rays penetrate your skin and warm your body. It was a little comforting to leave feeling like you could start from scratch. Life had given you a new opportunity and this time you wouldn't repeat the same mistakes of the past.

You walked through the streets, contemplating the city that once seemed huge to you, but over the years you got to know every alley, every sidewalk, every store in it. Without realizing it, you ended up somewhere you knew too well, maybe it was your subconscious or maybe it was because you had nowhere to go, but you decided to push the old worn door and enter anyway.

You were surprised that the old warehouse was still here, but seeing it empty and full of dust seemed strange to you. The place that was once your home now felt unknown, despite the bad times you spent here there were also many good ones. Every corner you passed brought back memories and you smiled sadly, the old jacket was still hanging and you felt a small knot remembering someone by your side teaching you how to fight, you looked away and walked every inch until you ended up in front of a door you knew well.

A part of you wanted to knock and hoped someone would open it like the first time you did, you wanted to meet someone, but you opened the door yourself only to find an empty room full of memories and dust. It hurt to be here, but you didn't know where to go.

You entered letting the memories flood over you and it was as if you were living them for the first time, that first kiss, that first night together and many others that followed, those endless hugs and the words he whispered to you to help you sleep. But all that had vanished, all that was in the past thanks to him.

You opened the window and looked at the buildings in the distance while the night fell and the city was flooded with dreams and unfulfilled hopes, you looked at the sky and contemplated the moon whispering your wishes knowing that it wouldn't hear you.

You woke up thanks to the sound of something falling and a bottle rolling on the floor followed by firm footsteps that ran through the place. You looked around for something to defend yourself with, but all you saw was the trash from the food you had stolen and the beer cans you had left abandoned in a corner over the days.

You slipped out of the room and walked towards where you had heard the noise, your heart pounding as you tried to hide in the shadows as you knew how. You peeked your head out and noticed the figure of a man curiously admiring the deformed drawing you had made with the dust the night before.

He seemed to sense your gaze as he looked up and let out a laugh.

“I know you’re there” you hid again and pressed your body against the cold wall, you thought of something, but nothing came to mind, you looked at the ground and the only thing you found were your fists, well, if you had to fight to escape you would do it, you had done it before, you should… “Lee”

That name paralyzed you, you felt like your heart stopped for a second and you peeked out again only to see Jack with his arms crossed when he saw your head peek out. You felt relief run through your body and you came out of your hiding place.

“Shit, you almost scared me to death”

“I’m glad to see you” he said showing a smile “you look… different” shame took over you knowing that he saw your long hair and that you showed your figure without hiding behind a sweatshirt

“How did you find me?” You asked suddenly, changing the subject

“I never stopped coming here hoping you would show up” you turned your gaze to the ground, you were glad to know that someone was waiting for you “when I find out what happened that day…”

“No… that doesn't matter” you interrupted him before he could continue “what have you come for?”

“I want to help you, you can join again and…”

“No, I'm not going back there again” Jack sighed, he looked tired

“Everything has changed, you know?” He dropped onto an old bench, kicking up some dust. “Many left since… we had to leave here and everything was much harder.” He ran his hand over his face as he remembered, you could tell he was having trouble speaking. “A new gang appeared and… we had to join them or we were finished. Many left, including Mingi.” His name made you a little uncomfortable, but you stood firm. “Little by little, the new gang grew and got involved in shady business, but we had no choice.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter, no one knew this would happen.” He stood up and took a step towards you. He looked at you tiredly and placed his hand on your shoulder. “You can stay here as long as you want, but if you need help, just call me.” He gave you a piece of paper with an address on it and left, leaving you in the dust and the weight of his words.

You thought you would never call him, but the weeks were getting harder and harder alone, stealing wasn’t enough anymore and even though this place was huge it wasn’t equipped to keep running.

You looked again at the crumpled paper you once threw away and wondered if (again) this wasn’t one of your bad decisions. When you got to the place you were surprised to see a small house on the outskirts of town, you expected an old warehouse again or maybe someone’s garage. With a little fear and holding your breath in your lungs you dared to knock on the door.

Jack smiled at you and let you in. He gave you new clothes and let you take a bath, he fed you well and you devoured every bite. You had never felt anything like this and now you knew why people lived so happily.

“So?” you asked leaving your fourth empty plate “if I join you what will I have to do?”

“It's easy” Jack said sitting in front of you “you'll just get paid”

“Wow, I didn't think I'd be Lee again”

“No” he interrupted you “this time it won't be Lee, it'll be you”

“But…”

“That doesn't matter”

A part of you knew that this would be more dangerous than before, you knew it sounded like a terrible idea and that it would be even worse, but you had no choice, you never had one, so you had no choice but to accept.

The days passed and Jack warned you that this would be dangerous, the people you would meet were very dangerous, that they belonged to some kind of mafia and that you should be prepared, he gave you a gun and although you had never used it to harm anyone the weight of having one was always comforting.

The day had arrived, Jack and you were inside a luxurious bar, you had never been in one and you were amazed by the bright lights and the music resonating in your ears, a part of you wanted to abandon everything and get lost among the people while having fun dancing, but you weren't here for that, you had a mission and you wouldn't let anything cloud your mind. Jack guided you through the hallways and approached you.

“It's the last door on the right” he told you before disappearing with a tall guy with a kind smile. Nerves ran through your body even though you had gone over the plan a thousand times before, but you never imagined being in this situation. The missions you had carried out had always been as 'Lee' but now you had left it behind, now Lee had been left in a place of the past and now you walked as the real you.

You entered that room with your head held high, with your heels clicking on the floor and with the loaded gun hidden in your leg, but none of that could prepare you for what you were going to find on the other side of the door.

It was a small room, with just a desk and two chairs, but the light was very dim, so much so that you could barely see the other person in front of you because of the thick smoke from the cigarette he was smoking, even so, you approached and sat in the empty chair that was in front of the desk.

The smoke parted like a curtain and left you both stunned when you saw the face of the person in front of you, he thought he would never see you again and you thought that the pain of that betrayal was behind you, but when you saw it all seemed to come back to you like a wave hitting your heart hard, everything you thought you had forgotten, all the feelings and memories came back to you when you recognized those eyes.

“I see you’ve been busy,” you said, trying to control your voice. Mingi stood up suddenly, it was as if he had seen a ghost and had stolen the words from him. “So much so that you seem to have forgotten me.”

“I never forgot you,” he suddenly replied. Just being here made you feel a lump in your throat with the millions of memories you spent together clouding your mind, but you never forgot the last moment.

“But you abandoned me.”

“What… what are you doing here?” he suddenly asked.

“I can ask you the same thing” Mingi stayed silent, the shock of seeing you still had him speechless “let me guess… you’re the one who’s going to give me the payment, aren’t you?”

“You… joined the gang again?”

“Deal with your own problems Song” you placed your hands on the desk a little irritated

“But why?”

“I don’t have time for you” you stood up annoyed, but the truth was that you couldn’t stand being in the same room with the guy who broke your heart “give me the payment and go back to your business”

Mingi shook his head and looked at you again, he noticed that you had long hair and the dress you were wearing highlighted the curves that you once hid, you looked very different, but he still knew that you were still the same.

“Let’s talk”

“No” you answered firmly taking out the gun “save it, your words are of no use to me now”

“Don’t do it” he pleaded when he saw you load the gun “you don’t even know how…”

You pulled the trigger aiming close to him making his words stay in his mouth.

“I won’t repeat it again Song… give me the payment”

Mingi let out a dry laugh knowing he had lost, he took out the money and placed it on the desk, you looked at him for a second and went for the money when he didn’t say anything, but he quickly took your hand, Mingi couldn’t let you go, not again. You tried to get away, but quickly between the fight and the struggle you were face to face.

“Let me go”

“No” you pointed the gun, but when you least expected it Mingi had snatched the gun from your hand, you no longer had anything to fight with, but that didn’t stop you from trying to do it.

“You never change” he said taking your hands in quick movements and imprisoning your body on the desk “you are still as stubborn as before”

“And you are still an idiot” you could not do anything, you could only look at him with resentment hoping that the weight of your gaze would do something to him.

Mingi was not going to hurt you, he only wanted to talk things over, but when he saw your eyes he knew that you were dragging bad memories from the past.

“I never forgot you” he repeated and somehow you felt that his words reached your heart.

You looked at him and realized the closeness that there was between the two of you, as if all the past that had existed between you had vanished and only this moment existed. He was very close and something inside you urged you to get closer to him, your heart was beating strongly and you wanted to feel more than a simple touch of his hands on your wrists, you still loved him, you always knew it.

“It still hurts” you said, holding back your tears and the urge to hug him. Mingi let go of your hands but didn’t move away “I can’t forget it so easily”

“So, let me help you” he came a little closer and you felt his breath on your lips for a second, you could have moved away, you could have pushed him away and left that room, but the truth was that you also wanted to forget the traces of the past.

His lips were just like you remembered, soft and delicate with a warmth you had never felt before. Mingi's hands ran down your arms to your hips and he held you by the back to bring you even closer. You separated for a moment and it was as if all the differences, thoughts and problems had disappeared in that simple kiss, his gaze was filled with a mixture of desire and pure longing.

“Mingi…” his name in your voice was like a spell for his body and he responded immediately waiting for your words, but there was nothing to say, you just wanted this, you wanted him.

You pushed yourself forward and held onto his neck as you brought your lips together again, your kisses were no longer slow, now they were just devouring each other, your tongues met and your teeth clashed because of the desperation and desire that seemed to overflow.

His hands held you tightly, as if he feared that at any moment you might fade away again, but each kiss felt more real than ever. Mingi contoured your figure and lifted the hem of your dress, you couldn't help but moan a little at the feeling of his fingers on your skin and he took the opportunity to grab your legs and climb onto the desk.

Your gazes met for an instant and you both knew what the other wanted. Mingi squeezed your thighs as he watched you take off the straps of your dress, leaving your breasts exposed. You noticed how he bit his lips, but at the same time he contemplated your body.

His mouth went straight to your neck and you let out a muffled moan at the feeling of his kisses, his hands went up your legs and slowly approached your core at the same time as his kisses now went down your collarbone and approached your chest.

When his fingers touched your pussy you arched your back from the sensation you had missed so much, without wasting time he began to move his fingers over the fabric letting your breathing slowly become agitated. You placed your hands behind you to lean on the desk and leave your chest at his mercy, with his other hand he took one of your breasts while his mouth captured your nipple.

You felt your body slowly sink into the whirlwind of sensations that Mingi caused you, you opened your legs to seek a little more pleasure and Mingi noticed it, you felt his smile on your skin and he looked up to see your pleading face.

“Do you want more?” you nodded desperately and he moved the fabric that separated your pussy from his fingers.

You let out a moan when his fingers ran over your wet core and touched your clitoris, he played with it for a moment turning it and pressing gently on it making you start to moan. You never took your eyes off him and you were struggling not to close your legs when a shiver ran through your body announcing your orgasm.

Mingi knew it and sank two of his fingers inside you, you let out a stifled sigh and held onto his shoulders when he began to move them in and out. You pulled him in for a kiss and he gladly accepted without stopping giving you pleasure, your hips began to move on their own looking for the highest point, your legs began to tremble and when you thought you had achieved it Mingi stopped.

“Not yet princess” you sobbed internally, but when he pulled his fingers out of you a strange mix of shame and excitement filled you inside as you watched him take them to his mouth and taste the trace of you left on him.

You placed your hands on his chest and began to unbutton his shirt, Mingi admired the way your hands shook a little, but you were determined to undress him. When you opened the shirt you admired his bare chest and ran your hands over his skin feeling every inch of his torso, you slid your hand down his abdomen and stopped for a second when you noticed the bulge in his pants.

You noticed his anxious and desperate look, you began to unbuckle his belt, but Mingi felt that you were too slow but that it was somehow a kind of torture. He took a slow breath trying to concentrate on not ripping his clothes off himself and let you continue at your pace.

You gently pressed his bulge when you pulled down his pants and heard him curse, you saw how his chest rose and fell faster and faster, but you continued just touching him above.

“Shit… stop playing with me” he begged through gritted teeth.

“It’s your punishment.” Mingi closed his eyes and sighed as he felt your hand touch him beneath his boxers. He felt you wrap around his girth and begin to massage him.

It was getting harder and harder for him to breathe and it was complete torture the way your thumb played with his sensitive tip. He grabbed your legs and brought you a little closer to the edge, he needed you right now, he wanted to have you and fill you, he couldn’t take it anymore and neither could you. You stopped as his cock began to twitch and smiled as you heard a frustrated sigh from him.

“I guess I deserve it” he said with a broken voice and you nodded when his forehead pressed against yours “but I can’t continue like this anymore” he confessed looking into your eyes “let me have you one more time”

“I’ve always been yours Mingi” your words moved his chest and he lowered your panties along with his boxers leaving the path clear between your bodies.

Your breathing mixed and you both moaned when he placed the tip of his cock over your entrance, you held onto his shoulders and dug your nails into his skin when he slowly sank into you.

The room was filled with the sound of your bodies colliding and your moans saying Mingi's name. You were hugging his neck and Mingi's hands were holding your ass while his thrusts took you into a spiral of sensations. His mouth devoured your neck and his teeth left marks on your shoulders.

You didn't want this moment to stop, but when Mingi separated from you for a moment you felt empty. He lowered you from the desk only to turn you around making you show him your ass while he pressed your breasts against the wood. You turned your head to look at him, but you moaned when you felt him sink easily into your pussy.

Mingi grabbed your waist tightly and looked at your figure, he approached your body and your skin crawled when his mouth began to leave a trail of kisses all over your back. One of his hands slid down a little and squeezed your ass hard before giving you a spank that made you moan, his hand went inside your legs and touched your clit making you squirm under his body that pressed against yours.

“Mingi… I’m close” you warned, but he continued to touch you as his cock sank deeper and deeper inside making your body start to shake.

“Cum for me princess” his words in your ear gave you shivers and his thrusts mixed with his fingers on your clit seemed to be enough to make you let yourself go in the fog that was starting to take you to your orgasm.

You scratched the wood beneath you looking for something to hold on to as you let the knot in your belly come loose. Mingi gave a few more thrusts and sank in hard letting his load warm your insides. He kissed your back and then pulled away from you, watching his essence drip down your thighs.

He couldn't resist the urge to pick it up and sink his fingers into your sensitive pussy, you moved at his touch and pressed against his fingers that didn't let you spill anything.

"Stay like that, just a moment" he said admiring your body and seeing how a trace of him was left on your body.

After he helped you get dressed the atmosphere became tense again, it was obvious that you didn't want to leave that room and separate again, but Mingi couldn't have you with him, his job was dangerous and he didn't want to put you in danger, while he thought about what to do you finally decided to speak.

"I have to go, they're waiting for me" your voice came out broken and revealed that you didn't want to leave

"Will we see each other again?"

“I don’t know” Mingi took your hand so you wouldn’t leave and hugged you tightly, he didn’t want to let you go, not again.

When you looked at each other again thinking it would be a farewell a loud bang was heard outside. You looked at each other once and without thinking Mingi took your hand before opening the door and discovering what was happening.

There was a lot of smoke and you couldn’t see anything beyond you, but the screams of the people were not long in being heard. People began to run towards the exit, they didn’t know what had happened, but moving a little further they noticed a destroyed wall in a row, people were pushing each other to get out and everything was chaos.

It wasn’t long before you heard the sound of sirens and something inside you brought you back to the past. You were starting to get restless and wanted to get out of here, but Mingi squeezed your hand reminding you that you weren’t alone.

"I won't let you go again" he said before taking out his gun and walking through the crowd without letting go of you. They managed to get out and for the first time you felt relief when you looked at him, he hugged you tightly and knew it was what he had to do "I'm not leaving you, come with me, I'll protect you"

You'd be lying if you said you weren't scared, but you knew Mingi was serious, he wouldn't let anything bad happen to you again so you just nodded as you shed tears and kept a new hope in your heart.

𝐴𝐿𝐿 𝑊𝑂𝑅𝐾𝑆 𝐶𝑅𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐸𝐷 𝐵𝑌 ©𝐾𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑦𝟼𝑐𝘩𝑜𝑖 𝑀𝑈𝑆𝑇 𝑁𝑂𝑇 𝐵𝐸 𝑃𝐿𝐴𝐺𝐼𝐴𝑅𝐼𝑍𝐸𝐷 𝑂𝑅 𝐶𝑂𝑃𝐼𝐸𝐷

tag: @londonbridges01 || @likeathunderoverflow

[heartsfromia]

critical inquiry — l. jihoon

pairing: non-idol! jihoon x reader

word count: 6,018

genre: fluff, workplace romance, reader isnt tech-savvy, jihoon kinda gives loser (endearing) energy

warnings: valorant (jk), profanities, proofreader? i hardly know her

author's notes: get me an IT guy like jihoon y'all, also idk i struggle when writing in mainly the guy's pov bro i cannot think like a man, can they be pathetic, yearning beings? idk bro

Lee Jihoon loved one thing about his job—working from home. With enough people in his team to cover tasks both from the office and at home, they're given the option to work either and Jihoon always picks home, time after time.

Until today, when Jihoon had received a message that his Work-From-Office buddy would be taking time off work for the next week because his grandfather fell ill, and he was asked to go back home for the time being.

“Only a week, Jihoon, and I swear you can go back to your PC set and slippers,” Wonwoo had reassured him, but it still wasn’t enough, “I’ll even help you rank up to Ascendant 3.”

So, that was how Jihoon found himself waking up at seven and taking public transportation to the office because his car was at his parent’s, and honestly, he wasn’t close with anyone to the point where he’d ask for a lift.

During the entire trip on his first day back to the office, he cursed the corporate slave routine. To think that before social distancing, that we would wake up at the crack of dawn to beat traffic or the commuter rush, go to a job that we’re not even sure we enjoy (spoiler: we don’t), and then have to go through that same rush and traffic when going home, only to sleep and reset the routine for the next day. As an IT support member, being in the office was the most useless and time-consuming thing. The Wi-Fi at his office is crap, the computers are old and laggy because the company doesn’t want to invest in better quality technology, and the team leaders are always breathing down your neck—but, hey, at least they compensate those that choose to come to the office.

One thing that Jihoon was grateful from the pandemic was the normalization of working from home. Having the option to attend the 10AM meeting, waking up at exactly 9:50 AM—clocking in—then joining the Zoom meeting without having to shower, change out of your pajamas, or even get out of the bed was something that was too good to be true. Alas, it happened, and he had been thriving and taking advantage of his Work From Anywhere policy in his company. Granted, he is only able to continuously work from home as long as there were two team members working from office, and luckily enough, that condition was met for the past six months

“This is new,” Hansol quipped when he spotted Jihoon signing at the entrance of the office. “Ah, Wonwoo is taking time off, right?”

“Yeah,” Jihoon muttered, most of his face hidden under a mask and cap, with his eyes peeking through the lenses of his glasses. “Do you think there’s coffee in the kitchen?”

“Obviously,” Hansol chuckles, finding the question obsurd. Can you blame Jihoon? The ceiling in the entrance of the building is almost falling apart from mold forming because of rain, and their computer to clock in was an old ASUS model from 2014 that can only function on a LAN cable—which is why its only purpose in this marketing agency was for signing in.

Sometimes Jihoon even wonders how the company can last for the past decade with its cheap ways.

He made his way to the second floor where the pantry, and overall kitchen was placed, making himself a cup of coffee before climbing the next step of stairs to the IT room—the main base for programmers and the support team. Another thing he hated about working from the office was the fact that the AC in his office just never seems to function. It’s the middle of summer, the city is going through a massive heatwave, and here, in his company placed in the smack middle of the city, they have a policy to not let the AC go anywhere under 23°C.

At least, when he is in the comforts of his own home, he can have the AC go as low as it can get, all while still in his pajamas, and could even multitask with Valorant opened in another tab.

“Oh, Jihoon, you’re switching with Wonwoo, right?” Jeonghan asked, turning in his chair and pushing his glasses up above his head.

“Yeah, I am, where does he usually sit?” Jeonghan taps the desk on his left, and watched as Jihoon got settled, a glint in his eyes that the younger one spotted. “What?”

“Did Wonwoo tell you anything?”

“Other than keeping my Google chat opened, nothing really,” he responded.

“You’ll be handling his division, too, right?” Jihoon nodded. “The Marketing team.” Rather than a question, Jeonghan confirmed the division, and once again, Jihoon nodded. A crease formed between his eyebrows, unsure of what his senior was referring to, and the latter noticed, chuckling at his puzzled expression. “You’ll see.”

It’s too early to understand what he means. Usually, he’d still be asleep right now if he were at home, especially since there aren’t any meetings he needs to attend today, he could’ve slept until three minutes before he required to clock in. He wasn’t use to having to be on work-mode even with ten minutes before his shift officially starts.

God, I miss working from home.

The first few hours into the shift was tedious. Since the company is a small PR agency, as a member of the in-house IT team, he’s required to wear multiple hats and take on various tasks. Unfortunately, since he is replacing Wonwoo for the time being, he’ll be taking on the task of Website management and ensuring that the Marketing team didn’t have any issues, as well as any technical issues the team might face, which is inevitable as their equipment is, as mentioned, crap quality. Every day Jihoon wonders why he claims to resign from the place but never does.

“Let’s grab lunch across the street,” Jeonghan invited Jihoon once the clock had struck twelve, signaling lunch time for all employees. Jihoon was about to agree and turn his computer to sleep mode when a ding! notified a message had come in. He rose a hand, indicating for his senior to wait a moment as he checked the message. He hadn’t received any complaints during the first half of the day from the team he was in charge of so this was a bit unusually for him.

It was a message from you.

Y/N: Afternoon, Jihoon. This is Y/N, and I’m new from Saerom’s team. Y/N: I was told by Wonwoo that he’s currently on PTA, and to message you instead. I have an issue with my Google Analytics account, I’m currently logged out and usually Wonwoo helps me with that because I haven’t been given my password (it’s been two weeks I’ve started 😅). Y/N: Can you help me with this?

“Who’s that?” Jeonghan ducked down, looking over Jihoon’s shoulder as he read the message, then a chuckle left his lips. “Ah… it’s Y/N, she’s a new, and struggles with a lot of the tech things—you’ll be meeting with her a lot.”

“She’s bad with tech and chose to be a social media specialist?”

“Ironic, huh?” Jeonghan laughs. “But she means well, even though she sucks with tech, she has good ideas and already has a viral TikTok video for one of our clients.”

“And she says she hasn’t been given her passwords? Aren’t we supposed to give it to them when they start?”

“Yeah, but usually they don’t ever log out, only she has that case,” he explains, the corner of his mouth lifting before he pats his junior’s shoulder reassuringly. “Just head on over there and help her, it doesn’t take more than ten minutes.”

Jihoon heaved a sigh, reluctant to help because of how tedious and unnecessary and easily avoidable this problem would’ve been if she’d had her hands on her account passwords.

Jihoon: Lee Saerom’s team? Y/N: Yes Jihoon: Alright, wait a minute Jihoon: On my way

“Are you dining in or taking away?” Jihoon asked Jeonghan, while he wrote down the password for your account on a sticky note.

“Dining in.”

“I’ll meet you there then.” With that, Jihoon tossed his cap off and trudged down to the second floor where Saerom’s team should be located. Since it was lunch time, most of the office space was empty, with only the office boy who was busy sweeping the floors from the aftermath of earlier today. He found the main room for the Marketing team fairly quickly, and didn’t have to look far for you as you were the only one in the room, seated in front of your computer, shoulders stiff and hands placed on your lap as if you were starting your first day.

Immediately upon hearing the creaking of the door, your eyes met above the desks and monitors, and for a brief second, Jihoon paused—almost shell-shocked as to finding someone like you working in a rundown company such as this.

“Y/N?” Jihoon called out, just making sure despite the obvious newbie aura that wafted around you.

“Yes… Are you Jihoon? The one covering for Wonwoo?” He nodded, and you were almost sure he’d say something to follow up to prevent an air of awkward silence from appearing between the two of you. He did not. Instead, he barely uttered anything as he approached your desk. You didn’t hesitate to push away with your chair to let him take the reigns and input your account. How you were able to stay logged out of the account and not have said anything earlier was unbeknown to him. You had been finishing up last week’s reports, but had only moved on to Google Analytics just twenty minutes ago. You’d usually have your account still logged in, always clicking the Remember me, however, to your surprise, you were logged out.

“This is your password.” Jihoon handed you the sticky note. “If you need any more help, you can just message me—Wonwoo is on leave for the next week.”

“A-alright.” Maybe it was the way he carried himself that intimidated you. Or the fact that he never made any attempt at small talk, thus, a tense and awkward air floated in the space between you two. Maybe it was his tone, lacking the usually bounce you’d usually hear from Wonwoo as he explained the mechanics of Hootsuite.

It is definitely his aura, it’s ice cold, you couldn’t help but think and maybe when he wasn’t looking, you’d shiver. “Thank you,” you uttered, and with a stiff smile, he nodded and left the room without anything further, leaving you to finish the last half of your report alone.

If you need any more help, you can just message me.

And that’s how it started, a back and forth of at least twice a day since that first exchange between you and Jihoon. At first, you had to introduce yourself again, despite the fact you were using Google Chats and your name was clearly displayed. After a brief introduction, you explained the problem at hand, then after a minute or two came Jihoon’s go-to reply.

Alright, wait a minute.

On my way.

The first couple of times, you almost thought it was an automated response he had somehow coded every time someone messaged him. Maybe he had set it so that after a couple of messages from the sender, it would trigger the short response from his end, however, you learnt that it was just purely him when your own messages grew shorter and shorter.

So, short to the point that this was your most recent exchange:

Y/N: Jihoon :( Jihoon: On my way

Thus, it became almost a routine for the two of you. Jihoon didn’t have any complaints, despite Jeonghan’s claims that the junior would usually complain from having to go back and forth, ascending and descending the same set of stairs more times than he should be. “Aren’t you tired?” Jeonghan had asked on Thursday after Jihoon had returned from helping you with the extension cord for the presentation you had scheduled the afternoon.

Jihoon merely shrugged. “I barely get to exercise with coming in.” Of course, as Jeonghan has been working with Jihoon since he started, he could tell the guy was bluffing, hiding whatever his true intention was behind his nonchalant facade, but he never said anything. Sooner or later the truth will come to light.

Jeonghan wasn’t the only that could tell that was a different air hanging around the avid-WFH-over-WFO tech employee, and whatever gossip that surrounded him managed to reach the ears of the guy he was covering for as the two got into a game of Valorant Thursday evening. As the two waited for a match to be found, Wonwoo informed him that his grandfather was feeling better and could be released from the hospital by Saturday morning.

“Oh, that’s good to hear, glad he’s doing alright,” Jihoon offered, although a bit half-hearted as he was eating his dinner by his desk at the same time.

“Yeah, and by Monday you can return to your world of working from anywhere,” Wonwoo said, a deep chuckle echoing on his end. “And by anywhere, I mean, literally just your room.”

“Nah, it’s fine, I can come in to the office next week,” Jihoon replied without thinking twice, then realized what he said and added, “you can make sure your granddad’s fine.” He internally sighed, believing he made a good save. However, a dead silence hung in the Discord call, even after the loud ‘Match found’ reverberated, breaking the silence for a second.

“What did you say?”

“What?” Jihoon tried to play dumb, then added, “I’m playing Gekko,” to change the subject.

“Did you just say you’re willing to leave the comforts of your own home to work from office?” Wonwoo asked again, clearly twisting Jihoon’s words causing him to roll his eyes. His colleague then added, in a faux tone of panic, “The end of the world is nearing, isn’t it?”

“Shut up and pick your damn agent.”

“Are you even Jihoon right now?”

Jihoon defended himself, “I can want to work from office from time-to-time, you know?” Wonwoo was exaggerating, wanting to work from office is tiring, but nothing is more boring than working alone with only a dumb FPS game there to entertain you every time you’re free. Admittedly, he found working while being surrounded with other people was enjoyable—he wasn’t a social butterfly, didn’t make an effort to start a conversation by the coffee machine either, but it was… nice being around others every now and then. Humans are meant to be social creatures, after all.

“You have been working from home ever since probation had ended, which was literally two years ago, Jihoon,” Wonwoo reiterated, “you have been working from home since.”

“That’s not true.” He frowned, the comment caught him off guard and he almost started the round with buying any abilities. “I worked three days last October.”

“Which was, what? Nine month ago?” He couldn’t rebuttal that. It’s common knowledge among his peers that he despises working from office—Jihoon knows that, too. It’s just that this week has changed his mind. People can change their mind. “I have to bribe you with Valorant just so you come to company dinners, and now you want to willingly cover me for another week? For free?”

An irritated groan shook his chest as his character died on screen. “Damn it—” He pushed to talk, “90 on Reyna.” He fell back into his chair with a sigh, annoyed that Wonwoo was ruining his focus on the game—it was supposed to be his rank up to Ascendant 3. “Okay, and what’s your point?”

Jihoon swears he could hear the guy smirk. “I know.”

“You’re being annoying, you’re distracting me.”

Wonwoo paid no mind to his complaints, hitting clean headshots on the enemy but the spike detonated causing them to lose the round. Despite that, Wonwoo kept his cool as he continued to taunt his colleague. “Vernon told me about your round trips to and from the Marketing team.” He was definitely grinning now. "The problem is, I know Saerom’s team don’t usually need any help from IT support—at least, not to the point to where you need to go there twice a day.”

Jihoon cursed under his breath as he, once again, misses his utility and gets killed barely ten seconds into the round. This time he doesn’t even bother to communicate with his team, in fear of his voice shaking in anticipation of Wonwoo’s suspicions. “Except for one person,” his peer begins, letting the silence drag between the two as he focused on the game, getting three kills in a row, winning the round for them. Then Wonwoo asks, Jihoon picturing a shit-eating grin on his damned face. “Y/N’s cute, isn’t she?”

“I’m forfeiting.” Jihoon presses slash then F, to which it was denied, their teammates sending in question marks in response. Wonwoo’s burst out laughing at Jihoon’s ‘missclicked sorry’ reply. “Focus on the game—if I derank, it’s on you.”

Wonwoo’s laughter only grew louder, letting himself have the last word. “Jihoon enjoying working from office wasn’t on my 2024 bingo.”

Neither was it on Jihoon’s because he never enjoys working from office. Whatever friendly and social air that was present the previous week wasn’t present now as he finds himself at the wrath of the Operation’s team manager.

“I was on a call with Miyoung and she told me she couldn’t access their website, Jihoon,” Eunkwang scolded, his greying brows forming deep crevices disguised as wrinkles between his eyebrows and across the length of his forehead. “You’re supposed to be on top of this—she couldn’t access it the whole weekend, Jihoon, what happened? We’ve never faced this problem before.” Yes they have, Jihoon recalled, it happens when you run an agency that barely gathers clients and doesn’t really care enough to provide quality platform options, either, but of course Eunkwang says the same argument. Talk about selective amnesia.

“I don’t care how long it takes for you to fix it—” Might take half an hour, could’ve dealt with it within the time you’re yelling at me but I’ll shut up, Jihoon bitterly thought but kept his lips pressed in a tight line. “I want it done until Miyoung calls to confirm.”

Once he was sure the old man was done projecting his anger, Jihoon bowed his head, uttering, “Understood.” He turned his body to climb up the stairs to the third floor, grumbling to himself how this wouldn’t have happened if he worked at home because he wouldn’t be tired from commuting and socializing during the weekends and could monitor the websites every now and then. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case because he was tired, and he is still tired, he hates working in the office, he doesn’t even know why he agree to go for another week, he could’ve been at home and in a Valorant Swiftplay by now—

“Jihoon?” He turned to find you, standing by the door of your team’s room, a timid look on your face. Something had happened, he could see it written all over your soft features as you eyed him wordlessly. Without saying anything, he followed you towards your desk, where you idly by your computer with pursed lips and furrowed brows.

The dreaded blue screen. It had only reached 15% and didn’t seem to budge even after three minutes of watching it.

“For God’s sake,” Jihoon cursed under his breath, however, it was loud enough for you to hear it and the unusual sharpness in his tone caused you to jump slightly, your heart beginning to race in your chest as his face contorted into frustration. “How did you manage to get stuck like this?”

“I-I don’t know.” God, you hated it when you started stuttering. It always made you look stupid and helpless. You inhaled a quick breath, hoping it would help calm the nerves that seemed to climb the more you avoided his intense gaze. “I was coming back from my break and turned it on, and it did this… I didn’t do anything, I swear…” If your lack of technological capabilities looked pitiful to Jihoon, your inability of forming a coherent and sensible answer was the cherry on top. “I’m really sorry.”

Upon seeing her stricken face, Jihoon inhaled a deep breath, letting his tensed shoulders fall. “No, Y/N, I should be sorry. I’m taking my anger out on you, you just needed help.” He glances back at your monitor, heaving another sigh. “Just leave it, it should be able to restart on its own, but if it doesn’t, just tell me.”

“Alright…” Would it be even more pathetic to say you were fighting away tears? You had to turn your head a bit, angling away from Jihoon so your hair fell to cover your face enough for him to not notice your obvious internal battle with letting your emotions take over. “I’m really sorry I keep bothering you with not being tech-savvy.”

An ache thumped in his chest hearing your apology, sounding defeated. “It’s fine, Y/N,” he tried to reassure you, but he knew damn well the damaged was done and whatever unspoken agreement to two of you had, had gone. Jihoon knew he was terrible with people, but he really messed up with ruining it with you—the one person that made coming into work, commuting back and forth, and facing nagging higher-ups, the least bit bearable.

It didn’t seem to register in him how bad the damage was until he got through the day without any messages from you. Even Jeonghan was surprised as the day was coming to a close. “Y/N didn’t come in?”

“She did,” Jihoon mumbled.

“And she didn’t need any help?” He only shrugged, trying to hide his own bewilderment. Did his words strike you that much? He decided to message you, just in case you were reluctant to ask him for help.

Jihoon: Y/N Jihoon: Everything alright?

He waited on the edge of his seat, his heart skipping a beat when you began typing back.

Y/N: Yes, everything’s fine ^__^

Everything was, in fact, not fine.

Not only did your computer take almost an hour to restart after the dreaded blue screen, whatever the computer had gone through during said hour had your accounts logged out, and you, being clumsy, misplaced the sticky note that Jihoon gave you, forcing you to borrow someone else’s computer to pull up the Instagram analytics. Fortunately, most of your inputted data was still available from before your break, it was still a hassle to transfer the data from your colleague’s computer to your own, and because, once again, you are tech-savvy, you didn’t know any shortcut. You had to turn to Google, open up YouTube tutorials on Excel shortcuts, consuming almost an hour of your day trying to learn everything from scratch.

But you promised yourself you wouldn’t bother him with any measly problems if Google already had a solution.

Even it meant running into the risk of never seeing him again.

Two days had passed. It was Wednesday and Jihoon was ready to pack up and head back to his old life of working from the comforts of his bedroom. Two days without his favourite snacks. Two days without his functioning PC that he paid hundreds, probably thousands of dollars to build. Two days without his fast Wi-Fi that was optimal for a quick ranked game.

And two days without the usual ping of his Google Chat, the room with you now collecting dust as the last message exchanged was his check-in on Monday.

Now Wednesday’s work day comes to an end without your plea for technological aid. You’re genuinely the only thing in this bleak, rundown, cheap company that makes the work worthwhile, Jihoon couldn’t help but think to himself on the train back home.

Was it pathetic of him to think of you as a reason to wake up in the morning, fight the morning rush and sit through eight hours of blank staring at a computer screen if it means he can get a glimpse of you every now and then when he goes down to get another fix of shitty coffee? The two of you only officially met last week after all, and yet, he has grown drawn to you, attached even, finding the brief sight of you as you sat by your desk, an ever-so-present clueless look to your face as you try to remember how to VLOOKUP the third time. He finds endearing, so endearing that his heart aches and his days grow grey when he hasn’t seen you yet.

Has he always been one to fall so quick for someone?

Would it be even more pathetic for him to fear that feeling? Mind you, he has never left the house unless bribed to, social interactions were scarce aside from the call outs to teammates in his ranked games, and even then, he never bothered to make small talk with the people he’d temporarily need to rank up. Was he a bit too deprived of social interactions that meeting you overwhelmed him to the point of creating a false sense of falling in l—

“Wonwoo, when are you coming back?” This time the two weren’t in a game of Valorant. Thank God, Wonwoo had thought when Jihoon asked to get on a Discord call. The latter had dinner prepared and was watching Big Bang Theory while on the call, but his head wasn’t focused on neither the ramen nor the TV show. “Can we switch back soon?”

“What happened to your willingness to go to the office?” Again, that damned smirk was noticeable in the way he spoke, but Jihoon needed to keep his cool.

“Changed my mind.”

“How come?”

“Sick and tired of being in the direct line of shot for Eunkwang’s spit when he yells at me,” he half-lied. He had to wash his face after that meeting, to the point he used the strawberry-scented hand soap to make sure he couldn’t feel the droplets on his skin.

“Oh yeah, Jeonghan told me.” A pause. “Sorry that happened to you, but it’s just Eunkwang, his ammunition is making you work overtime every now and then.”

“I just don’t want to deal with him every now and then, much rather read him yell in the group chats than in real life.”

There was a longer pause now, Jihoon’s eyes glanced at his second monitor just to make sure his friend didn’t disconnect. Then, Wonwoo spoke up, tone matter-of-factly and the shit-eating grin heard clearly. “Vernon tells me you haven’t been to the Marketing room in a bit.”

“Vernon you piece of shit snitch,” Jihoon cursed under his breath, but obviously his microphone caught it, Wonwoo throwing his head back in laughter.

“I’m guessing the Tech-Illiterate hasn’t been asking for your help?”

“Y/N,” Jihoon corrected, not liking the term used—even if it did fit you.

“Hey, there are a lot of tech-illiterate people in our company,” Wonwoo pointed out, then added, “so I guess you admit it then, you’re thinking of her.”

His eyes roll far back, he gets a mild ache in his temples. “Fine yeah,” he admits with a defeated sigh, “she doesn’t need any more help from me so why should I even bother to go to the office?”

“For work, Jihoon,” he says casually. “I mean, you get compensation to come to work. Extra money.”

“I’m already rich enough,” he responds, clearly dodging.

“Then why work?”

“I’m bored.”

“You piss me off.” Wonwoo’s comment successfully makes Jihoon chuckle. “I hope Y/N becomes so tech-savvy that she doesn’t need your help anymore, and you will never see her again.”

“Asshole,” he hisses and disconnects from the call immediately, Wonwoo’s words pushed to the back of his head as he finished his ramen and closed the TV show, opening Valorant for a quick game to relieve the stress built up for the day.

Unfortunately, once he laid on his bed, eyes stuck on the ceiling, his peers’ words returned tenfold, echoing a sickening mantra in his head. What if you do end up learning how to do your job with little to no help, technology-wise? It’s hard for the guy to admit (and a tad bit dramatic), but he truly did feel like his entire being has lighten since meeting you.

Maybe he is deprived of social interaction, and you were the fix he needed, but didn’t want it to be temporary. He wanted to know everything about you, the reason why you struggle with technology and remembering passwords and working different Google suites. He wanted to know why you chose this line of work, why this shitty company, and why hadn’t he met you before.

He wanted to know more about you, and he doesn’t want to ruin the chances of being able to do so.

Although it might be pathetic of him to feel so strongly over someone he only met the previous week, he knew this would be a missed opportunity to not get to know you better, that it would become his biggest regret and he didn’t want his leaving the comforts of his WFA routine be for nothing.

So, he had a plan. A bit of a cheesy, cliché of a plan, but a plan and he lost sleep wondering if it’ll work or not.

As he entered the office, his mind kept replaying what he needed to do. It was simple, he just needed to wait for you to reach out to him, ask for help with an issue and it should be smooth-sailing from there, all depends on your answer, of course, but that was something he could worry about later.

Phase one starts with you and your uncooperative computer.

Jihoon waited, eyes glancing between tabs where his Google Chat was opened, looking at the bottom right corner of his computer at the time, watching the time tick by and still no ping from you. But that was okay, it was only two hours into this gloomy Thursday, there was still a whole seven hours before he could truly panic.

So he waited more.

And more.

And more.

He waited until he couldn’t wait, and time was running out. Eyes shifted towards the clock: 16.39.

Less than thirty minutes until the work day, and tomorrow is Friday, and he needed to get this done today because if he didn’t then, it’ll mess up his plan for tomorrow (which depends on your answer, too, if you say ‘yes’ then there’s another plan for that, but if you say ‘no’ then Wonwoo was already back in the city so he could cover for Jihoon while the latter wallows).

“Fuck it,” Jihoon mutters as he pushes himself up out of his chair, causing everyone else in the room jumps and turns to his desk, only to see him already out the door and rushing down the stairs.

“Go get her, man,” Jeonghan utters, loud enough for everyone to chime along with him.

With long strides and quick steps down to your floor, everyone Jihoon seemed to past knew he was a man on a mission—a man on a mission for you. He tries to ignore the mild chills that rose up his spine at that thought. He might be pathetic sometimes, but he likes to believe he can be quite the cheesy romantic, despite what his friends might say.

As expected, since it had been a slow day, a lot of staff had clocked out early, their jobs for the day done and all ready to end the work week. However, you were still by your desk, focused on the task at hand, only two of your coworkers in the room with you, but even they were mindlessly playing with their Excel sheets, waiting for the clock to strike five.

When he stood close enough to you, he saw that you weren’t focused on a task, instead on a game of Minesweepers. He watched you win a game, pursing his lips and nodding, visibly impressed. Sensing a present, you turned around and jumped slightly. “Jihoon… Hi.”

“Hey, Y/N,” he greets back with a stiff smile. “Is everything alright?”

A brief look of confusion passed your face, glancing between him and your computer, before nodding, “Yeah, everything’s fine.” And it was. You got through your day just fine, nothing needed to be troubleshooted, or restarted. You didn’t panic, other than when you forget to send a file to Saerom, but everything—technology-wise—was fine.

“Really? I got a notification on my computer that there was something wrong with yours,” Jihoon lied through his teeth. He didn’t, but he needed you away from your computer so he has ample time to put his plan in motion. His statement caused your brows to furrow together, genuinely confused because you didn’t receive any notification from your own computer, shouldn’t that be the case? Unless you did, and you didn’t noticed because you were too focused on your Minesweeper game.

“Oh…”

“Yeah…” Jihoon rubbed a nonexistent itch at the back of his neck. “Are you done with your work? It might take a bit for me to check it.”

“Oh yeah, I’m done for the day,” you said, then to the clock above the door. “I didn’t realize it was almost five.”

If you could hear anything right now, it would be the pounding beat of his heart against his chest as he tries to formulate an excuse to get you off the computer. “It won’t take more than ten minutes, though, Y/N.”

“Alright, I’m just going to fill my water bottle and clean up while you deal with it.” With a stern nod, Jihoon watched as you stood and walked out the room. Once outside, he took his spot and started his plan.

Recalling the steps he saw on Google, opening Notepad as he pulled out the sticky note where he wrote the code beforehand, typing it in and inserting the necessary message. Once he had saved it, he tested it once, and almost yelled out in triumph when it worked, displaying a fake error message.

“What’s the problem, Jihoon?” You approached him, bottle filled to the top with water. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, you just…” He stood from his chair, gesturing for you to sit. He leaned down, keeping one hand on the back of your chair as the other guided you. “You just need to click that, it’s to install a… an update… Yeah, an update.”

“This one? The ‘Critical Inquiry’ one?” Jihoon hummed in response and watched with sweaty hands and a racing heart as you clicked it, an error message popping up on your screen.

Is this how IT guys flirt? The blood in your face travelled the distance to your cheeks, a bright pink beneath the glow of your skin as you tried suppressing your smile, Jihoon’s way of asking you out so unconventional, so out of the blue, so unique, that you couldn’t help but mentally applaud him, this was a new way you’d been asked out.

“What’s your option?” Jihoon asked, his voice so clearly on edge as he anticipated your answer, for a second even worried you’d decline then he’d be forced to return to his hermit habits and hide his embarrassment.

All that tension, no matter how hard he tried to hide it behind a nonchalant façade, was visible to you and gosh, he is so cute.

You sent him a smile, turning back to your computer wordlessly, letting your choice speak. Your cursor hovered towards the options, for a second too long it hovered over ‘No’, Jihoon’s breath hitching in his throat before his heart skipped a beat as the cursor moved and you clicked your mouse right on ‘Yes’.

The two of you stared at each other, a warmth in your eyes, and brightness in his, sharing a knowing smile before he uttered with the confidence he mustered between the panic.

“I’ll pick up at eight then, Y/N.”

[enemiestolovershoe]

can you write one were reader is matts sister and Noahs best friend and the band always tease the shit out of them when their glued together? thank you:)

Subtle’s Overrated

Noah Sebastian x bsf!dierkes!reader

Summary: Y/N and Noah’s friendship sparks teasing and undeniable chemistry on tour, but when feelings finally surface, nothing—especially their bandmates—can keep them apart.

Words: 4k

Warnings: Teasing, Friends to Lovers, Use of Alcohol, Mention of smoking weed, I din't proofread it so maybe there's gonna be mistakes. lmk if i forgot something.

Disclaimer: While the characters in this story are inspired by real people, the events and interactions are purely fictional and not reflective of reality.

The airport was buzzing with early morning activity, travelers pulling their luggage through the terminal, announcements echoing overhead. You were leaning against one of the sleek chrome pillars, your carry-on by your feet, scrolling through your phone to pass the time.

Noah was right beside you, as usual. He had his arms crossed, a hoodie tugged over his messy hair, and he was squinting at the boarding pass in his hand like it was written in hieroglyphics.

"I swear they make these things harder to read every year," he muttered, flipping it over like the back might offer some hidden insight.

"It’s not a riddle, Noah," you said with a laugh, reaching out to snatch it from him. "Gate 22. Terminal C. You’ve been doing this for years, and you still act like it’s your first time at an airport."

"Not all of us are travel pros like you, princess," he shot back, smirking as he leaned casually into your space.

Before you could reply, a loud wolf whistle interrupted the moment.

"Ah, look at ‘em! Joined at the hip, as always!" Nick Folio’s voice carried across the terminal as he walked over, balancing a precariously large coffee in one hand and a bag of snacks in the other. "Should we just start planning the wedding now?"

"Shut up, Folio," you groaned, rolling your eyes, though the warmth creeping up your neck betrayed your nonchalance.

"Yeah, shut up, Folio," Noah parroted, tossing a crumpled napkin at him. "Jealousy’s a bad look on you."

Nick feigned hurt, clutching his chest. "Jealous? Me? Never. I just think you two make a cute couple."

"Do you ever let up?" Jolly chimed in as he approached, his bag slung over one shoulder. "I mean, they’ve been attached at the hip since day one, and nothing’s happened yet. Maybe they’re just... eternal besties."

"Or they’re both in denial," Matt teased, appearing out of nowhere and clapping Noah on the back hard enough to make him stumble. "Classic slow burn."

"Right, because you’re such an expert on relationships," you shot back, raising an eyebrow at your older brother.

"Hey," Matt replied, grinning. "Just calling it like I see it. And as your big brother, it’s my job to keep the guy glued to your side in line."

"Yeah, yeah," you muttered, shaking your head as the rest of the group laughed.

"Big brother or not, you’re still a pain," Noah quipped, though there was no malice in his tone.

"As if you’re one to talk," Matt retorted, pointing at him. "If I had a dollar for every time you’ve mooched off her snacks, I’d be retired by now."

The group chuckled, and even you couldn’t help but crack a smile. This was the usual routine, and as much as you liked to complain about it, it was comforting in a way.

As the teasing died down, Nicholas Ruffilo joined the circle, pulling out his phone. "So," he began, "who’s gonna be the one to lose their luggage this time?"

"My money’s on Noah," Jolly said without hesitation.

"Why me?" Noah protested, looking genuinely offended.

"You lost your passport twice last year," Jolly replied flatly.

"That’s different!"

"How?"

"Uh, it just is," Noah said, his argument faltering as you snorted.

"I’ll help you keep track of your stuff this time," you offered, patting his shoulder mockingly.

"You’re a saint," he said, putting a hand over his heart. "An angel sent to save me from myself."

"Don’t encourage him," Matt groaned, shaking his head.

The overhead speakers crackled to life, announcing the boarding process for your flight. Matt immediately took charge, ushering everyone toward the gate.

"Alright, lovebirds, let’s move it," he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

"We’re not—"

"Save it," Nick interrupted, throwing an arm around your shoulders as the group started walking. "We all know it’s just a matter of time."

You exchanged a glance with Noah, who shrugged with a small, amused smile. It was the same old joke, but this time, there was a flicker of something in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place.

As you reached the gate, Noah fell into step beside you, close enough that your arms brushed. "You ever feel like they know something we don’t?" he asked quietly, just for you to hear.

"All the time," you admitted, your voice just as soft.

The moment hung in the air for a beat too long before Matt’s voice broke it. "Hurry up, or we’re leaving you behind!"

With a shared smirk, you and Noah picked up the pace, falling into step with the rest of the band.

The plane was relatively quiet as everyone settled into their usual spots. You slid into the window seat with a satisfied sigh, propping your backpack under the seat in front of you. Noah dropped into the middle seat beside you, and Folio followed, plopping down with a dramatic groan.

“Man, who made planes so cramped?” Folio grumbled, stretching his legs as far as they could go without hitting the seat in front of him.

“Quit complaining, Folio,” Matt called from his aisle seat, shooting him a look over Ruffilo’s head. “You know it’s worse on the tour bus.”

“True, but at least I don’t get stuck in the middle of these two on the bus.” Folio gestured to you and Noah. “You’re like magnets, always leaning into each other.”

“Jealous you’re not in the middle?” Noah quipped, earning a snort from Jolly.

“Nah, man. I just don’t want to be collateral damage when this whole slow-burn romance finally combusts,” Folio said, winking at you.

You groaned and shoved his arm lightly. “You guys really need new material.”

“Maybe we’ll stop when you two finally admit it,” Jolly chimed in, earning a chorus of agreement from the others.

Noah just smirked, leaning back in his seat. “Keep dreaming, guys.”

As the plane took off and the initial excitement of the flight settled down, everyone fell into their own routines. Matt pulled out his laptop, muttering something about emails, while Ruffilo popped in his earbuds and started sketching on his tablet. Folio tapped away on his phone, and Jolly was already half-asleep, head tilted against the window.

You glanced at Noah, who was scrolling aimlessly through his phone. “What are you looking at?” you asked softly.

“Nothing interesting,” he said, tilting the screen toward you briefly before locking it. “You thinking of sleeping?”

“Maybe,” you replied with a yawn, leaning your head back. “Flights always make me sleepy.”

“You always knock out within the first hour,” he teased, grinning.

“Can’t help it,” you murmured, already feeling the pull of sleep. Without thinking, you shifted slightly, leaning your headagainst Noah’s shoulder. It wasn’t the first time, and judging by the way he didn’t even flinch, it wasn’t a big deal to him, either.

Time passed, and you drifted off, your breathing evening out as the noise of the plane faded into the background.

It wasn’t long before the teasing began.

“Look at him,” Jolly whispered from across the aisle, his voice low but just loud enough for Noah to hear. “He looks like he’s holding his breath.”

“I think he’s afraid to move,” Ruffilo added, smirking. “Wouldn’t want to wake her, huh?”

“I’m not afraid to move,” Noah said defensively, though he kept his voice quiet so as not to wake you. “I just don’t want her to wake up cranky.”

“Oh, sure,” Matt interjected, leaning forward to get a better look. “That’s a real heroic excuse. But let’s be honest, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Noah shot him a look. “You’re her brother. Shouldn’t you be discouraging this kind of teasing?”

“Should I?” Matt said, feigning deep thought. “Nah, this is too much fun.”

“Careful, Noah,” Folio added, nudging him. “You keep letting her nap on you, and the next thing you know, you’ll be the designated human pillow.”

“Already am,” Noah muttered, but there was no real annoyance in his tone.

The ribbing continued for a bit longer before everyone settled back into their respective distractions. Noah shifted slightly, trying to keep his arm from going numb under your weight. Despite the teasing, he couldn’t help but smile faintly at how peaceful you looked.

As the captain announced the descent, Noah gently nudged your shoulder. “Hey, we’re landing soon. Time to wake up.”

You stirred, blinking sleepily and taking a moment to realize where you were. “Oh, sorry,” you mumbled, sitting up and rubbing your eyes.

“Don’t apologize,” Noah said, his voice soft. “You looked like you needed it.”

From across the aisle, Jolly piped up, “Did you get any drool on him this time?”

“Jolly!” you exclaimed, your cheeks flushing as the rest of the band burst out laughing.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Jolly said, holding up his hands in mock surrender.

Noah just smirked, grabbing your carry-on from under the seat. “Ignore them. They’re just mad they don’t have someone to nap on.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled as everyone prepared to disembark.

The airport was bustling with activity as you and the band made your way outside, your bags in tow. In the bus parking lot, your familiar tour bus stood waiting. Its sleek exterior and logo had become a second home over the years.

As you approached, Folio let out a dramatic sigh. “Ah, the tour bus. Where dreams of legroom come to die.”

You climbed aboard with Noah right behind you. As expected, you both took the booths across from each other—the same ones you’d claimed on every tour since your first. He threw his backpack onto the seat before flopping down, stretching his long legs.

“Surprise, surprise,” Matt said as he followed behind. “You two gravitate toward each other like it’s magnetic.”

“Yeah, we get it, Matt,” you replied, rolling your eyes but smiling. “Maybe we just like consistency.”

“Consistency, huh?” Jolly drawled, sliding into a booth further back. “Sure it’s not because you two can’t go five minutes without making googly eyes at each other?”

Noah shot him a look. “You’re projecting, man.”

“Yeah, totally projecting,” you chimed in, grinning.

“Call it what you want,” Matt teased as he threw his bag into the seat beside him, “but it’s only a matter of time before we’re writing ‘Mr. and Mrs.’ on the bus windows.”

Ruffilo smirked. “Or printing it on the next batch of merch.”

“You guys are insufferable,” you muttered, trying to suppress your laughter.

The drive to the venue was filled with similar banter, the kind that made the long hours on the road bearable. When the bus finally pulled into the lot behind the venue, everyone piled out, stretching and groaning after the ride.

Inside, the band got straight to work setting up for soundcheck. You wandered into the sound booth where Matt was stationed, helping coordinate with the crew.

“You’re still gonna be my unpaid assistant this tour, right?” he asked, grinning as you leaned against the console.

“Of course,” you said with mock enthusiasm. “Living the dream.”

As the band began their soundcheck, you couldn’t help but watch Noah. He was in his element, mic in hand, his voice effortlessly commanding the space. The way he moved, the focus in his expression—it was mesmerizing.

“Subtle,” Matt said dryly, breaking your trance.

“Huh?” You turned to him, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks.

“Your staring,” he teased. “You’re not exactly sneaky about it.”

“I’m just watching the sound levels,” you lied, feigning nonchalance.

Matt chuckled. “Sure, let’s go with that.”

The band wrapped up soundcheck, and everyone took a break before the show. Back in the green room, the teasing resumed as everyone grabbed snacks and drinks.

“Are we gonna have to peel you two apart again tonight?” Jolly asked, smirking as he sipped his water.

“Not unless you want to lose a limb,” Noah shot back, earning a laugh from Folio.

“Relax, man,” Folio said. “We’re just pointing out the obvious. You two are like those couples in rom-coms—everyone knows what’s coming except you.”

“We’re not a couple,” you said, exasperated. “Can we change the subject?”

“No,” Ruffilo replied immediately, earning a high-five from Jolly.

As showtime approached, you found yourself backstage, the energy in the venue electrifying. The band took the stage, and you couldn’t help but sing along and dance to every song, caught up in the moment.

From where you stood, you could see Noah glancing your way more than once, a small smile tugging at his lips when he caught your eye.

When the show ended, the crowd’s cheers still echoing in your ears, you were more than hyped. The moment Noah stepped offstage, sweaty and flushed from the performance, you ran to him, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

“Y/N,” he laughed, his voice still rough from singing. “I’m literally soaked in sweat.”

“I don’t care,” you said, grinning as you held on tighter.

“Aww,” Jolly cooed from behind you. “A post-show love fest.”

“Jealous?” Noah shot back, his arms briefly tightening around you before he pulled away, though his smile lingered.

Before you could respond, Matt approached, crossing his arms as he looked at the two of you. “Still hugging, huh?”

“Don’t start,” you warned, though your tone lacked any real bite.

“I’ll start if I want to,” Matt said, smirking. “But I’ve got a better idea. Drinks to celebrate the first show?”

Noah glanced at you, his brow quirking. “What do you think?”

“Sounds perfect,” you replied, still buzzing with excitement.

“Great,” Matt said, clapping his hands. “Let’s pack up and get out of here.”

The bar was dimly lit, buzzing with music and chatter as you and the band made your way to the VIP section. The staff had cordoned off a cozy corner for you, complete with plush leather couches and a low table littered with menus and coasters.

Matt was quick to take charge, ordering the first round of drinks. He came back carrying a tray with an assortment of glasses, grinning like he’d just won a prize.

“To the first show of the tour!” he declared, raising his glass.

“To surviving another tour without killing each other,” Jolly added dryly, earning a laugh from the group as everyone clinked glasses.

The night unfolded in a haze of laughter, stories, and an ever-growing pile of empty glasses. It wasn’t long before Folio and Matt were deep into their cups, leaning heavily into their drunken states.

Folio slumped back into the couch, a lazy grin on his face. “Damn, I’m so drunk,” he mumbled to himself, chuckling. “Shouldn’t have smoked that joint during the show.”

You and Noah, seated next to each other on the crowded couch, exchanged amused glances and laughed quietly at Folio’s confession.

“What’s so funny?” Folio slurred, his glassy eyes focusing on the two of you. Then he paused, squinting as if his vision had just betrayed him. “Wait a minute… are you… sitting on his lap?”

Your cheeks immediately flushed as you realized he was right. The couches were too crowded, and at some point, you’d perched yourself on Noah’s lap to make room. It had felt casual—comfortable even—but now, under Folio’s scrutiny, it was anything but.

“Uh, yeah,” you said, trying to play it cool. “There’s no room.”

“No room,” Folio repeated, his grin widening. “Sure, let’s call it that.”

“Here we go,” Noah muttered under his breath, his arm resting lightly around your waist to keep you steady.

Folio leaned forward, as much as his inebriated state allowed, a mischievous glint in his eye. “You’re awfully cozy for two people who are ‘just friends.’”

“It’s practical,” you countered, though your voice lacked conviction.

“Practical,” Matt chimed in, sliding onto the couch beside Jolly with his drink in hand. His face was flushed, his grin even wider than usual. “That’s what we’re calling it now?”

“Oh, come on,” you groaned, burying your face in your hands.

“No, no, let’s explore this,” Matt said, clearly delighted. “You’re telling me, out of all the space in this VIP section, the only place you could sit is on Noah’s lap?”

“Exactly,” Noah said with a straight face, though the corners of his mouth twitched. “It’s basic physics.”

“Physics,” Matt repeated, laughing. “That’s the best you’ve got?”

“Better than whatever logic you’re using to justify that shirt,” Noah shot back, gesturing at Matt’s garishly patterned button-up.

“Deflection,” Folio sang, pointing at Noah like he’d cracked some great mystery. “Classic deflection.”

“You two are unbelievable,” you said, shaking your head, though you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Unbelievable? No, no, no,” Matt said, his voice full of mock indignation. “What’s unbelievable is that you’ve been in each other’s pockets for years, and you’re still pretending nothing’s going on.”

Folio nodded vigorously, almost spilling his drink. “They’re like… like one of those slow-cooking stews. Taking forever, but you know it’s gonna be good when it’s done.”

Noah groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright, I think it’s time to get these two to bed.”

You nodded, standing up and grabbing Folio’s arm. “Come on, big guy. Let’s go.”

“I’m fine!” Folio protested, though he made no effort to resist as you and Noah guided him out of the booth.

“You’re fine, huh?” Noah said, steadying him when he stumbled. “Tell that to your liver.”

Behind you, Jolly and Ruffilo waved lazily from the booth. “We’ll hang out a bit longer,” Ruffilo called. “Good luck with those two.”

The walk back to the bus was anything but quiet.

“You two looked real comfortable back there,” Matt teased, slurring slightly but still sharp enough to make you groan.

“It’s not like that,” you said for what felt like the hundredth time, focusing on getting him up the bus steps.

“Sure, sure,” Folio chimed in, leaning heavily on Noah. “Bet you’re just gonna sit on his lap the whole tour, huh?”

“Folio, shut up,” Noah said, though his tone was more amused than annoyed.

Once you got them into their bunks—after much coaxing and a few more poorly aimed jokes—you and Noah retreated to the living room section at the back of the bus. It was quiet now, the gentle hum of the bus’s engine filling the space.

You sank onto the couch, exhaling a long breath. “Well, that was… something.”

“Every tour starts like this,” Noah said, sitting across from you. He leaned back, stretching his arms along the top of the couch. “It’s like a rite of passage.”

You laughed softly, running a hand through your hair. “I’m surprised they didn’t start singing wedding bells on the way back.”

“Oh, give them time,” he replied with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help smiling. A comfortable silence settled between you, and when you glanced up, you caught Noah watching you, his head tilted slightly, a faint smirk on his lips.

“What?” you asked, your brow furrowing.

“Nothing,” he said, though the look in his eyes suggested otherwise.

“Come on,” you pressed, leaning forward slightly. “What’s that look for?”

He shrugged, his smirk deepening. “Just thinking.”

“About?”

“You,” he said simply, his voice low but teasing.

Noah’s smirk didn’t waver, his gaze steady and warm as he leaned slightly closer. The faint hum of the bus seemed louder in the quiet.

“What about me?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper, curiosity and nervousness mingling in your tone.

He hesitated for a moment, as if weighing his words carefully, and then his lips curved into a gentle smile. “You’re really beautiful, you know that?”

Your breath caught for a second, and you blinked at him, taken off guard. “What?”

He chuckled, the sound low and almost shy, a stark contrast to his usual confidence. “I’m serious. You are.”

A flush crept up your neck as you tried to find your voice. “Noah…”

“What?” he teased, leaning his elbows on his knees, his body angled toward you. “Can’t I say something nice without you getting all flustered?”

“I’m not flustered,” you shot back, though the heat in your cheeks betrayed you.

“Right,” he said with a knowing smile, his eyes sparkling.

You folded your arms, narrowing your eyes playfully. “Why now? What’s with the sudden compliments?”

He shrugged, his expression softening. “Maybe it’s not sudden. Maybe I’ve always thought it, but I’m just bad at saying it out loud.”

Your heart thudded in your chest at his words. “You think… you think they were right all this time? About us?”

“No,” he said firmly, his voice steady and leaving no room for doubt.

Your stomach dropped a little. “Oh.”

He tilted his head, studying your reaction, and then his lips quirked into a small smile. “I don’t think they were right. I know they were.”

Before you could respond, he leaned in closer, his hand lightly brushing against your knee. The air between you felt charged, the space too small yet not enough.

And then he kissed you.

It started slow, tentative, as if testing the waters. His lips were soft, warm, and they lingered against yours just long enough for your breath to hitch. When you didn’t pull away—when you leaned into him, your hands instinctively finding his shoulders—it deepened.

Noah’s hand slid to your waist, guiding you closer as the kiss grew more passionate. The world outside the bus seemed to disappear, leaving only the quiet hum of the engine and the racing of your heartbeat.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, and he pulled you onto his lap without hesitation. The moment felt electric, the years of teasing, tension, and unspoken words finally snapping into place.

His lips moved against yours with a fervor that sent your mind spinning. You shifted slightly, your knees pressing into the cushions on either side of his hips. His hands rested firmly on your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.

It was as if nothing else mattered, just the two of you finally crossing an invisible line that had been drawn so long ago.

And then—

“Damn, I’m wayyy too dizzy to sleep in that tiny bunk—” Folio’s voice cut through the haze, slurred but loud enough to make you both freeze.

Your head whipped around, your eyes wide, as Folio stumbled into the living room. He stopped mid-step, his eyes blinking rapidly as they focused on the scene in front of him.

“Oh,” he said, his tone laced with a mix of shock and amusement. “Ohhhhhh.”

You scrambled off Noah’s lap, your cheeks burning hotter than the sun as you tried to compose yourself. Noah, on the other hand, stayed seated, though he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, his expression caught somewhere between frustration and bemusement.

“Folio,” you started, your voice a pitch higher than normal. “What are you doing up?”

He pointed vaguely in the direction of the bunks. “Too dizzy. Needed air. Did not expect to walk into… whatever this is.”

“This isn’t… it’s not—” you stammered, flailing for words.

Folio smirked, leaning against the doorframe. “Nah, don’t stop on my account. Just… maybe put a sock on the door next time or something?”

“Go to bed, Folio,” Noah said, his tone exasperated but still holding a hint of a smile.

Folio gave a mock salute before stumbling back toward the bunks, muttering something about how the tour was going tobe very interesting.

As soon as he was out of earshot, you buried your face in your hands. “Oh my God.”

Noah chuckled, his hand reaching out to tug gently at your wrist, pulling your hands away. “Well, that wasn’t exactly how I imagined this going.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, though your face was still flaming. “So much for subtle.”

“Subtle’s overrated anyway,” he said, his smirk returning as he pulled you back down beside him.

Taglist: @courta13

A/N: Likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Let me know if you'd like me to continue this as a mini-series. Also, my asks are always open—feel free to request anything!

[hexite-dissolving]

snowflakes in my stomach when we're kissin'

Gift for @weltraum-vaquero ! Jayce Talis x GN!Reader Summary: Does Jayce like the winter? No. But will that stop him from taking advantage of its holiday traditions to steal a few extra kisses? Absolutely not. Word Count: 1,042 Tags: Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Mistletoe, I'm feeling ✨festive✨, My First Arcane Fic, the title is from the xmas version of nonsense by sabrina carpenter but shhhh y'all don't see that, Jayce is a Sweetheart, Jayce Talis is a lover boy SFW

Jayce doesn’t like the winter, a fact you became aware of rather quickly when you first got to know him. After narrowly avoiding death as a child at winter’s hands, he can’t stand this time of year- not to mention all the sickness floating around and the textural nightmare of bundling up to go outside. You can’t blame him, you aren’t the fondest of it either, which is why you take so many extra measures to ensure he stays comfy cozy until spring returns with its warmth. Despite his hatred for the gloomy cold months, though, is how much he enjoys the season’s holidays and festivities. Jayce adores bringing you home to his mother, or joining you and your loved ones for dinner and exchanging gifts. 

Jayce has so much love for the people in his life it is hard to keep it in, so you suppose that the holidays are just a convenient excuse for him to shower you in affection- or ask for it. 

His favorite excuse by far was mistletoe. Any opportunity to kiss you was one he’d take, and during the holiday season there were just too many to pass up. Every outing took nearly twice as long because Jayce would pull you under every sprig you came across for a kiss. 

The scent of something herbal and fresh greeted you as you opened the door to  the sight of your beloved. It wasn’t uncommon to see him waiting for you to return home if he wasn’t caught up in the lab- in fact it was strange for him not to. But there was a mischievous gleam in his eyes as you shucked off your coat that immediately made you suspicious. 

“What's with the look, hm?” you ask, toeing off your boots and scooting them next to his with your foot. 

Jayce grins in a way that only serves to strengthen your suspicion. He’s definitely up to something. “What look?” 

“You know what I mean.” 

He shrugs nonchalantly. “I’ve got no clue what you’re talking about, babe. Oh- you should look up, by the way.” He barely contains a boyish giggle as he directs you, one that makes your heart swell. 

Curious as to what it is he’s set up, you do, and see a cluster of mistletoe taped to the lightswitch dangling over your head. That must have been what you smelled when you walked in. When you pull it down to take a whiff, sure enough, it’s exactly that. You look back over to Jayce, who looks awfully proud of himself, as you set it down on the table next to your keys.

“C’mere, pretty boy,” you beckon, curling your finger in a come hither motion. 

He scurries forward like an excited puppy and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into a dizzying kiss. Warm, soft, sweet like the rest of him, and just as desperate too, like he’ll never get to kiss you again. He melts into you when you tug him closer by the collar of his shirt. Every hum and sigh reignites the blaze in your chest, and it isn’t until your lungs begin to burn that you pull away. He smiles, winded, and leans in to pepper your face and neck in more of his affections. 

“Miss me much?” you joke, but you already know the answer. 

His voice is honey-sweet muffled against your neck. “Always.” 

When he finally breaks away, the two of you settle into your normal evening routines. You tell each other about your day, prepare for dinner, and you fondly listen as he recounts the progress he and Viktor made today with hextech. A while after dinner, your stomachs full and warm, you lay with Jayce’s head in your lap while you read, combing your fingers through his hair. He turns into your stomach and weaves his arms around you, and what you thought was just him getting comfortable turns into something else when you feel his hand rooting around behind you. You cock an eyebrow as his hand slips between the cushions supporting your back. 

He rolls over, gazing up at you and producing yet another cluster of leaves and red ribbon, dangling it between your eyes. The playful grin he’s sporting makes your heart stutter in its tracks. Good gods, he’s so precious it may actually kill you.   

“Really?” You can’t stop the snorting laughter that escapes your lips. You lean down and peck his lips, savoring how he chases after you when you pull back. “You’re pretty needy tonight, puppy. What’s next, am I gonna find some in your pants too?”

Jayce’s eyes widen as his cheeks dust red. Cute. He coughs into his free hand before he collects himself, and gives you a coy smile. The same one he always whips out when he wants something, but won’t outright ask you for it for one reason or another. “I mean, you can find out for yourself. You know, if you want to.”

You grant him another small smooch, drifting your hand down his chest and stomach, toying with the hem of his shirt. His breath hitches against your lips, and you retract from him like the cruel lover you are. “Later, baby.”

He whines, and you almost go back on your word right then and there.  

The exhaustion of the day you’d had finally slams into you as you cross the threshold of your shared bedroom at some late hour of night. You collapse into bed with a sigh, burrowing into the soft blankets like a cozy ferret. Jayce follows suit, nice and toasty when he snuggles up beside you. He calls your name softly, pulling you out of sleep’s slowly strengthening hold. He taps the headboard with a shit eating grin. You crane your head up to look behind you- lo and behold, one last mistletoe is tied around the wooden bedpost. You snicker softly and lean over him, your breath ghosting over his lips. 

“My god, you are insatiable, y'know that?” You nuzzle into the strong palm cupping your jaw, pressing your lips to the calloused skin. 

“You love it, though.”

You close the distance between you, the stressors of your day and the late December chill outside long forgotten.

[sleighhethereal]

♡ — 𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

WARNING: slight nsfw, bunnies

imagine being one of the only female best friend's of Mei, and somehow you haven't met the Monkey King at all the first season or two

you didn't really give a shit to begin with

sure, it was amazing having MK as a best friend AND successor to some immortal jackass

all you've heard from MK is that Wukong was—

"HE'S THE BEESST!" MK squealed as he swung the red staff around in the air, swiftly doing stances with each turn. "Just as the legend says, [Name]! He's strong, handsome, and- and- he taught me that you should ALWAYS believe in yourself—"

"MK, I could have told you that myself."

though, there was a small part of you that wasn't atleast curious of what or who Sun Wukong is

it seemed MK talked about you alot, because sometimes Wukong asked for you to join

"Hey [Name]." MK would approach you as you held twenty dishes in hand, "Monkey King asked me... to ask you, if you wanted to- sort of- join in on the training—?"

that'd be when MK would receive a wooden spoon to the back of his head, sending him flying to the ground face-first

"HELL NO! HE GOT ONE OF YOU, I'M NOT LETTING HIM TAKE THE OTHER!" Pigsy would screech, somehow spawning another wooden spoon in his palms.

after that, MK stayed for shifts a bit longer than expected‐ you'd ask why and he'd tell you Monkey King seemed like he was sulking, so he gave him a break

weird stuff

it was during personal training that you'd finally meet the Great Sage‐ not under great circumstances

and no, it wasn't for the end of the world

MK was prepping his own moves, with you on the side for... support? Mei came around in a bit, sitting beside you.

"I wonder what else I can do.." MK mumbled to himself, pushing his hand out as it began to glow a bright yellow. "YAAAAAAAHH!"

everything went black

and you slowly opened your eyes to see Mei beating the absolute shit out of MK

"I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY—"

"YOU TURNED MY BEST FRIEND INTO A BUNNY- CHANGE HER BACK, NOW!"

you blinked, looked down, and screamed.

you quickly rushed- well, hopped‐ towards a full-length mirror and gazed upon yourself.

you turned into a life-sized bunny

half the day was spent with MK trying to turn you back but nothing worked, just a sweaty man on the floor and a whole lot of sobbing apologies

it would've been fine but you were starting to do strange things

like, you hated Pigsy for example

"Kid, what the hell is up with you?" Pigsy asked, his eyes filled with nothing but concern.

"Don't TOUCH me!"

you found some menstrual pads, chocolate, and some take-out noodles on your bed the next day

you weren't on your period.

you nudged people, head-butted, and didn't sleep at all at night

sometimes you'd watch MK sleep and he'd wake up to your purring, and then others would wake up to his terrified screams

finally, MK took you to Flower Fruit Mountain- he couldn't turn you back himself, but someone can

that'd be the Monkey King himself

you were especially weird this week- you had made a dirty den in the shop, growling at anyone who came near

so, yeah, that was kind of the last straw for Pigsy

when Monkey King came out to greet MK and Mei, he never did

he squealed at the sight of you, pushing the kids aside (quite roughly, sending them flying off the stairs) and rushed you with open arms

he kissed your face, nibbling your cheeks— a part of him actually thought you were an early birthday gift

"O-M-G! You're so cute! What brought you here, hmmmm? Oooooooo, I just wanna eat you up and put you in my pocket-" He babbled nonsense as he carried you, pinching your cheeks.

that was until you practically pounced on his face, pulling his nose close to yours as you stared into his eyes.

"You'd give me great kittens."

"...Oh?"

It took MK a while to try and separate you both and it took a while longer convincing Wukong to turn you back

"Look, man, I need you to bring her back to her- you know, normal self."

"But why????"

"You KNOW why!"

"If dealing with her is so difficult, I could... take her off your hands—"

"MONKEY KING." "DON'T YOU DARE!"

"WHAAAAATTTT?"

eventually, after like two days, MK convinced Wukong. it would've taken longer if it weren't for you actually telling him that you wanted to be yourself again

after Wukong's dramatic tears and hard hugs, he turned you back

lucky for you, you don't remember anything that happened after being converted

well, lucky for like a few seconds after you got back to the shop

"So you kind of asked Monkey King to, uh.." MK got close to your ears, whispering the rest."

your face went red, "I did what?"

"I think he was into it too—"

"WHAT?"

[dissvicious]

Alone in Wano - 1 / 2

A/N: it's been an eternity since I posted a fanfic here & I deleted the last one I posted here because I was too self conscious so words can't fathom how much I'm nervous right now lmao. No much content warnings but contain Wano spoilers, canon violence & also apparently it makes people cry. thanks @a-killer-obsession for beta reading, & @wyvernslovecake for letting me play dolls with Shriek ♥

One month.

29 days.

690 hours or so.

Nina sighed, grunting as the baby kicks in her belly kept her from sleeping. She tried to change position in the uncomfortable futon discarded on the ground, to relieve the pressure her womb was applying on her guts - without any effect. She closed her eyes, and, as usual, images of what happened flashed in front of her eyes. Kaido falling in the ground at Ozzy’s birthday party, Kid refusing to submit, the beast pirates destroying the castle and locking everyone in the jails of their ships, sending them to Wano. Quincy, Heat, Wire, Hip, Papas…Thanks to gods, she didn’t see Shriek in the cramped cells. She must have locked herself in her room, just like Nina asked. She silently prayed for her safety and rolled on her back again, looking at the ceiling.

She hadn’t felt this lonely for a long time. Not since she joined the Kid pirates, in fact. She almost managed to believe that life was going to be ok, she almost touched that peace from the tip of her fingers, but Kaido took everything away from her. Nina rubbed her eyes, trying to chase the tears that threatened to flow on her cheeks. One month without Killer tenderly spooning her in her sleep. 29 days without Kid playfully grabbing her ass while passing by in the morning. 690 hours, or so, without passing her fingers through the soft fur of Shriek to untangle it.

"MAMAAAAAAA"

Ozzy’s tears took her out of her reverie. She sat up in the futon, and took the toddler on her lap, before opening her kimono to allow him to latch on her breast and take some milk. She passed her hand through her son’s pink hair, looking down at him tenderly. At least, Kaido didn’t separate them. She was so scared at first, when he discarded them to Orochi, saying that a pregnant chick and a toddler was no use for him. Nina wasn’t strong, she didn’t have any power, she didn’t have haki, and without her chainsaw, the only thing she could do to protect her heir would have been to run and sink her teeth into whatever neck presented to her. Thankfully, Komurasaki seemed to have pity for them and asked Orochi to keep her and Ozzy in her court, which Orochi accepted. Not that he seemed to be able to refuse anything to Komurasaki, though. Nina and Komurasaki immediately understood each other on this - Nina, too, had to pretend to like men for her safety in the past. And staying near the shogun, she could maybe learn a thing or two about Kid or Killer’s fate. Ozzy finished eating and she hugged him tight, seeking comfort in the scent of his hair. God, she missed her lovers so much. Ever since he helped her sober up, she had never been separated from Killer for this long. And as much as it cost her to admit, she missed Kid just as much. After years of being used and tossed away, she finally had a home, a family. She just wanted them back.

Loud screams coming from Orochi's banquet dragged her out of her spiraling. She put back her breast in her kimono and held Ozzy close to her chest, mother instinct going full mode as a little girl with a big grin and pink hair ran to her, crying, holding her close as to seek reassurance in her arms.

“Toko… ?” 

Nina bent down and managed with some effort to take Toko under the arm that wasn’t holding Ozzy, finding, by some miracle, space for the little girl, the toddler, and her big round belly.

“Toko… what happened?” 

Toko looked up at her, unable to answer, her breath cut by a burst of laughter. Nina bit her lip to restrain any reaction that could hurt the girl’s sensibility. Even if Komurasaki explained to her the whole shit about SMILE and its effects, she still needed to process that Toko could have a big grin or laugh, but still be sad, angry or scared. One thing for sure, the more she learned about Kaido, the more she wanted him dead.

As she was about to question Toko again, Komurasaki and Kyoshiro barged in the room. Nina's eyes went wide open and she stood up as she saw the blood on Komurasaki's clothes.

“The hell?” she asked. 

Komurasaki seemed to do great, though, and she walked in with a hurry to take Toko in her arms after changing into a discreet, more modest robe than her usual attire and throwing her jewelry on the ground. Nina turned an inquisitive glance to Kyoshiro who frowned at her.

“No time to explain. All of you need to leave the castle.”

“But…”

“NOW!” 

Nina frowned, sensing the urge in Kyoshiro’s voice. She nodded and, holding Ozzy close to her chest, she followed Komurasaki and Toko through a secret escape.

One month.

31 days.

738 hours or so. 

Nina’s eyes didn’t leave the hearth, fire crackling and flames casting a warm light through the little wood shed. Toko was sleeping peacefully next to her, holding Ozzy against her, her permanent grin not leaving her face. Nina looked up at the green haired  woman sitting across her, a protective hand on her belly.

“So what do I have to call you now?” Nina asked. 

“Hiyori.”

Nina studied her face. When they arrived at the secret hideout, Hiyori explained everything to her. How she was actually Oden’s daughter. How she was born on the Oro Jackson, a long time ago. How she had to watch her little brother jump forward in the future thanks to some time travel devil fruit, while her mother was dying in the flames. How a plan to take down Orochi and Kaido was in place, silently building in the shadows for the past 26 years. Once again, Nina met her eyes and a silent comprehension passed between the two women. They both experienced what true loneliness was, they both saw the ugliest face of men. At this exact moment, Nina understood why Hiyori took care of her. Seeing her alone with her baby, pregnant with the second, must have reminded her of her own family. 

“That’s not everything.” Hiyori said, a serious glance on her face. She bent aside and grabbed a newspaper on the ground before giving it to Nina.

Nina frowned and took the journal, and her eyes went wide in shock as she read. The news was about a pirate captain sent to Udon jail, and even if the picture below was only an ink drawing, she couldn’t help the tears flooding down her cheeks when she recognized Kid.

“I need to go there.”

“Nina…” Hiyori started to sigh, but Nina cut her off.

“No, you don’t understand!” 

She looked at Ozzy, still peacefully asleep in Toko’s arms, occasionally twitching in his sleep.

“His father… Ozzy’s father. One of them. He’s maybe there, I can’t-”

“Nina.”

Hiyori's tone was stern now, and Nina sighed, knowing already where the conversation was landing. Since Hiyori saved her, they had it on a daily basis. Nina sat down, putting a hand on her belly.

“I know, I know. I’m pregnant. I have to be careful.” 

Hiyori smiled softly, looking up at her with her big, soft eyes, and Nina smiled back. Both women looked at the fire in silence for a moment.

“I hope they’re doing fine.” Nina whispered, caressing her belly softly, where her little one was giving high kicks again. “I can’t live without them.” She cursed herself mentally for being so sappy. 

When did she become so sensitive? After the whole Perona disaster, she thought she was done with romantic bullshit. She was a tough girl, picking up fights in bars and sailing alone, surviving out of thieving and brawlings. She sailed for months, years maybe even, alone, and she held herself alone, even if she had to rely on drugs or sell her body to keep on going. But destiny made her cross paths with Kid pirates, and Killer saved her, and she allowed herself to fall in love again, and then she fell for Kid as well, and the crew adopted her, and she adopted them. And then there were the children, and soon she was surrounded by more tenderness and affection than she could handle. She wiped her tears. Fucking mood swings.

Hiyori seemed to notice her demeanor change, because she moved ever so slightly to wrap an arm around her shoulders, slowly comforting her.

“They’re alive. I would have heard of it if they were dead,” She whispered. Nina nodded, nuzzling against Hiyori's shoulder, closing her eyes.

“I hope so.”

Nina woke up the next morning, snuggled against Hiyori. She sighed in relief. It was good to feel the warmth of another human being again - well, an adult one. With regret, she withdrew herself from the green haired woman's embrace. She stood up and took Ozzy in her arms, cradling him tenderly. Behind her, the fire was dying slowly. It was cold outside, they would need to light another one, and there was no more dry wood left. She wrapped Ozzy in his carrier and tied it on her back. Hiyori would scold her for not resting but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to feel like a burden. She didn't want to feel useless. Hiyori had saved their life, the least she could do was to ensure her a warm room to wake up in. She walked out of the small cabin and closed the door behind her.

Nina was out in the snow, gathering some dry wood, when a deafening scream pierced the ambient silence. She jolted her head as she recognized Hiyori's voice. Without thinking, she put Ozzy in safety next to the wood carrier, wrapping her vest around him to keep him warm and safe, and ran to Hiyori as fast as her round belly allowed her to. 

Her mind went blank at the scene she was witnessing. 

Hiyori was hidden behind a green haired samurai who looked a bit like the mugiwara sword guy… Roronoa? She was shaking, terrified, holding Toko close in her arms. And in front of them…

This laugh. 

This blonde mane. 

Those icy blue eyes. 

Nina eyes went wide and without thinking, she ran to them as Roronoa was about to attack.

“NO!!”

She yelled, throwing herself between Roronoa and his opponent. Hiyori screamed, but Nina couldn’t care less, her focus on the laughing figure in front of her. Tears perked at the corners of their eyes and she took a few steps forward. At this moment, Roronoa didn’t exist anymore, Hiyori didn’t exist anymore, even Ozzy was far away in her mind. The only thing that mattered for her were those beautiful icy blue eyes piercing through the bandages. So soft. So familiar. The eyes that looked at her with adoration every morning and always managed to make her feel safe.

 She took a few steps forwards, wiping her eyes with a relieved chuckle.

“Killer? My lion?”

The blonde looked down at her, a grin plastered on his face. Killer didn’t usually grin without his mask, but after a month without seeing each other, he was probably happy to see her too. She took another step forward, still chuckling in relief. Killer looked down at her, immobile. She looked up at him with pure adoration and sobbed. 

“Killer, I'm so…” 

She froze when he suddenly arched back, letting out a loud burst of laughter. He laughed. Loudly. Killer laughed. In front of perfect strangers. In front of an opponent. 

Puzzled and worried, she held a hand to caress his cheek, an attempted comforting gesture, but before she could touch his skin, she was violently thrown in the snow, kicked in her belly by the wood of his scythes. She felt an intense pain bowing her in half, then, nothing. 

The last thing she saw before passing out was Killer's frame passing by her side as if she was nothing but an insect he brushed off his shoulder. The last thing she heard was his laugh fading in the distance, and then everything went black.

[majinael]

"This job can wait..."

★Michael Kaiser x Female Reader

★bit of smut

★651 words

In my life, nothing has ever been more thrilling than understanding the human body and pushing its limits. It’s what drove me to pursue a career as a physical therapist. Helping people regain movement, overcome pain, and recover their full potential was more than a job—it was my passion, my will to live.

That’s how I ended up assigned to the U-20 German football team, a role that offered no shortage of challenges and... unique experiences.

From the moment I joined, I quickly became a fixture among the players. Conversations flowed easily during treatment sessions, and some of them seemed to live for the moment when I laid my hands on them to assess their injuries and even acted like I was some kind of enchantress. For others, it felt as though it was the first time anyone had ever cared for them so gently.

But no matter how they reacted, I treated them all the same. Fairness was non-negotiable for this job.

That egalitarian approach, however, didn’t sit well with everyone. Michael Kaiser, for instance, hated it.

It was no surprise that Kaiser craved attention. It was no secret that he loved being the center of it all, and the moments when I worked on him became a kind of ritual. He thrived on my touch, on the care I gave, and—though he wouldn’t admit it—the rare, quiet intimacy of it all.

But the mere thought that others received the same treatment? Oh, that set his teeth on edge.

His possessive streak made itself known in the way he leaned into my touch, how he lingered after sessions, and his relentless flirting. His smirks and teasing words always carried a tension that bordered on dangerous. Sometimes, I sat wondering if he really meant it or not, but ended up focusing on my paperwork again, without an answer for myself.

That day, the match had been a brutal defeat. Kaiser, for once, wasn’t basking in the spotlight. He sat in the treatment room, quiet and brooding, his usual bravado conspicuously absent.

“Michael?” I asked softly, kneeling in front of him to examine his leg. “Are you okay?”

It was partly protocol, I had to ensure none of my players were disoriented but with Kaiser, it was more than that. The unease in his demeanor unsettled me.

He didn’t respond, only sighed and threw his head back, exposing the sharp line of his jaw.

Frowning, I reached out instinctively, pressing the back of my hand to his forehead to check for a fever. It was a move I rarely resorted to, considering I could easily tell if the body temperature was particularily off but his silence had me on edge.

That’s when his eyes snapped open, burning with an intensity I hadn’t expected. Before I could back away, his hand shot out, gripping my wrist firmly, pulling my torso closer to him.

“You really want to know what’s wrong?” he hissed, his voice low and taut.

The knot in my stomach tightened. His gaze pinned me in place, too intense, too close.

“Michael…” I whispered, unsure if it was fear or something far more dangerous making my pulse race.

And then he moved.

He pulled me forward, his lips crashing against mine with a ferocity that stole my breath. His kiss was hot, demanding, and full of lust. My initial shock melted into a helpless surrender, my lips parting to meet his pace.

His hands found my waist, pulling me closer, and I found myself straddling his lap. His touch was firm, possessive, gripping my curves as if to remind me that I was no one else’s but his in that moment.

His tongue brushed against my lower lip, seeking entrance, and I gave in without hesitation. The way he explored my mouth was maddening, his hunger evident in every movement.

When I pulled back with a soft moan, desperate for air, a thin thread of saliva still connected us. My chest rose and fell rapidly, heat flooding my cheeks, while he looked utterly triumphant—his lips curled into a smug, satisfied smirk. His tatooed hand crawled up to the back of my neck to fuse our bodies together.

“You’re mine,” he murmured, his voice dripping with unshakable confidence. Before I could respond, his lips descended to my neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses and sharp bites.

I gasped, my fingers digging into his shoulders as another soft moan escaped me. The sting of his marks sent shivers down my spine, each one a silent claim.

“You’re not walking out of this room,” he murmured against my skin, “without me being the only thing on your mind, doll.”

His words, his touch, his relentless presence—it was overwhelming. He was overwhelming.

And just this time, for an instant, I thought "This job can wait."

[impala124]

Bad Buddy 12

My thoughts on Ep 1 | Ep 2 | Ep 3 | Ep 4 | Ep 5 | Ep 6 | Ep 7 | Ep 8 | Ep 9 | Ep 10 | Ep 11

Me, at the end of this episode:

Oh, we have a 4-year time skip!! Interesting.

Pat, where is the Nong Nao doll? I don't see it on your bed. I need answers right now.

I like the transition from Pat putting down his toothbrush to Pran picking up his own. Very clever.

Pran, quick question: WHERE ARE YOU? I see the view in the background, and that's one of Singapore's most iconic buildings, if I'm not wrong, which is definitely not in Thailand. So, boy, what's your ass doing in Singapore?

At least he's still wearing The Watch, so I have hope. Pran's a yearner through and through, so I expected nothing less from him.

We all agree that Max is hitting on Pran, right? Pran's not having any of it, though.

Poor Pat, he doesn't look too happy when Korn and Wai mention revisiting the old days.

Not the fucking elevator flashback 😭😭. Oh no, the curry Pran made for him after he confessed that he liked him. Man, this shit hurts!!

I, for one, am not at all surprised that Pat joined his father's business after graduation. I could've told you that on the day we first met him.

Sidenote, but why are these 22/23-year-olds lamenting about getting old?

Guys, Pa graduated from university and is making a movie!! My baby's all grown up now!! *wipes tears*

Ok, Wai and Korn each have girlfriends. How about instead of saving for individual dowries, you both just ditch the girls and marry each other? Just food for thought.

But why aren't they bringing up Pat's love life? Is it still a touchy topic? I mean, it's been 4 years, and we don't know what reason they gave their friends for the breakup, though, so we shall see.

What do you mean someone else moved into Pran's room? It should've been preserved as a heritage site. Contacting the people at UNESCO ASAP.

Ink and Pa are on my screen together. My boys might be miserable right now, but at least my girls are thriving.

A high school reunion, you say? If I'm not wrong, Pat, Pran, and Ink went to the same high school. Are they going to MEET at the reunion????!

Wow, Ink misses her high school classmates. Definitely can't relate to that sentiment, bestie.

Pat, sir, is that a smile on your face at the possibility of running into Pran at the reunion?

Not Pat looking solemnly at the memory wall.😭😭

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Pran is here at the reunion!!!

Okay, so just looking longingly at each other is all I'm going to get for now.

"But some things can never change." Pat, bestie, change is the only constant in life. Fuck everything else and go get your man!!

Are you really playing a game at your reunion if the prize up for grabs isn't something like an accommodation voucher for a night at a mid-budget hotel??

Not the trip down memory lane😭. Y'all are in the same room; talk to each other and put yourselves (& me) out of this misery.

A live performance, you say? And PRAN IS SINGING. Now, don't tell me it's the song he wrote to soft launch his feelings to Pat in high school.

Yes, he is. Pat, are you listening? I know you're hearing it, but are you LISTENING to it?

EXCUSE ME! What was that sweet smile you guys just exchanged? I need an explanation!! NOW!!!

A group photo with them being pushed towards each other, which could be a metaphor for the string of fate always bringing them back together. Love to see it.

Pat, let me introduce you to something called a cab. It's really effective in taking your friend's drunk ass home, especially when your ex is giving you THE LOOK!!

Okay, Pat's on the phone with Pa (probably?) and is complaining about being hungry. You know what you should do, Pat? Go to your favorite noodle shop and wait for your ex to show up so that you can talk things through.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S PRAN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR AND ON THE PHONE??!!! My brain is malfunctioning right now.

"You said you'd sleep at your house." What in the hell is happening right now?

Crisis averted, the Nong Nao doll makes an appearance on the bed.

Okay, Pran, I see you wearing your 'happy hour' shirt while complaining to your boyfriend (?) about Singapore's air pollution.

One thing about them: they are going to use the fucking sponsored makeup remover on the other. It's quite endearing, actually.

BB Product placement stays superior till the end.

I need an explanation, stat!! Are you still mad I didn't pick you up at the airport? What is that boyfriend-ass statement, Pat?

Pran just referred to Pat as his boyfriend. "We've been together for too long."

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY NEVER BROKE UP IN THE FIRST PLACE??!!! I need a minute to process this.

My reaction till now, everyone, is the fucking Kuleshov effect in action, with me thinking that both of them are sad because of their 4-year-long separation, when in reality, they are just boyfriends missing each other.

Aww, a memory wall in their home.

Finally, THE GUITAR PICK that Pat made for Pran all those years ago makes an appearance!

So, according to the photos on THE WALL, Pat actually visited Pran in Singapore.

I do hope we get a home tour at some point; I'm really interested in seeing how Pran's OCD self blended his life with Pat's messy ass.

Unknowingly, from two people who couldn't be friends, we became two people who were more than friends.

So, they lied to everyone by saying that they broke up and began Secret relationship 2.0

Not them holding their fucking pinkies together when they pass by in the hallway ASFDGHF—

Time and space are just a construct when it comes to me and my blorbos because remember what I said when they were dating in secrecy the first time? I told them that they should have at least one person they are both familiar with to be in the know about their relationship to maintain a successful secret relationship. And Pran IRREFUTABLY heard me because Wai, Korn, Pa, and Ink knew about them this time around. I bet Einstein didn't foresee this coming.

Aww, they even visited Uncle Tong and Junior after they graduated.

I love that the parents aren't still getting along, because in such cases where the rivalry dates back decades, it feels abnormal to not continue doing so. It's almost like sunk cost fallacy but make it about rivalry.

However, I do love the little detail of Ming having to back off during their car face-off because Ming was the one who stabbed Dissaya in the back, figuratively speaking, all those years ago.

Not Pran rubbing the shirt all over his body to ensure that his scent lasts for a while💀 My boy is an actual menace.

Pat, sir, what are you thinking sending thirst pics to your boyfriend AT WORK?

They even held their pinkies together in their high school reunion photo.

Oh, I'm a happy camper because all my ships are sailing smoothly. The irony of Wai and Korn running the bar (where they used to fight with each other on a regular basis) together is just 😂 😂

Wai and Korn are soft launching their relationship, and no one can tell me otherwise. See, Pat is also a KornWai truther.

Pa, sweetheart, Ink was pining for you since she was in high school. I don't think you need to worry about her straying.

Keep up with shoving your couple photos down everyone's throats, though, just because y'all are hella cute together.

Korn does look like a middle-aged Asian uncle when he is complaining about the rival faculties breaking tables. Oh, how the tables have turned.

Yes, Wai, it's your penance for all the mess you guys used to cause all those years ago.

"Guys, I don't mind if you want to fight, but you must get a lover out of the fight, just like me." STAHP IT

Pran went from ordering three wontons to four—that's how you know he's in a long-term relationship, accommodating your partner without any prodding from their side.

Pran's "I brought your dad a bottle of liquor" is a solid strategy. There is nothing Asian dads love more than receiving imported liquor, even if they don't drink. A sure way to win some brownie points.

Kissing in front of the trashcans!!!! Oh, how far they've come.

Ming once again being the most Asian dad to ever exist by just randomly flipping through the newspaper just to appear busy.

As much as I love to hate on his quintessential Asian dad quirks, he is the most relatable of bl dads for me. Is he perfect? No, but I don't think anyone can say that he doesn't love his son.

Ink is accepted by Pa's parents, which doesn't surprise me one bit because she's perfect. PERIOD.

The dinner scene at Pat's house is a callback to the dinner scene in the initial episodes, when the dad was telling Pat to not let the neighboring boy win at any cost. Oh, how the tables have turned! Now, Pat is trying to curry favor with his dad for the said neighboring boy.

MING TOOK A SIP. Told ya, Asian dads just can't resist imported liquor.

The question of Pran's guitar. Did Pat keep it with him this time around too??!!

Ming crossed the LINE to deliver the mail, and Dissaya saw it.

Awww, his mom put it on his bed, which goes in line with my theory about parallels between Dissaya accepting Pran playing the guitar and him loving Pat. So, I'll be taking this as silent acceptance from her regarding their relationship.

I think both of them are ready to bury the hatchet, TO AN EXTENT, for the sake of their kids happiness.

Going off on a tangent for a bit, but bear with me. Let me take a moment to thank @respectthepetty for training me into thinking of love whenever I see the color pink because, what was the paint color the fathers used to draw the boundary between their houses all those years ago? Yes, it was fucking pink. It means that the answer was love all along. They were MEANT to fall in love to bridge the rift between their families. Talk about 'born to be together,' which was the exact sentiment Pran wanted to convey through The Song in high school.

Now, Pat coming into Pran's room through the window is a clear callback to the time Pat did the same to return the watch after Pran saved Pa. However, then he did it to tell Pran to not act friendly towards him in front of others, and now it's to spend some time with him without hiding from anyone, even their parents.

"If not you, I won't allow anyone else to use it. Pran, when I catch you—

Not Pran, my resident menace, trying to wake up the green-eyed monster by mentioning that Wai may have used it before💀😂

Pran's dad providing the meta commentary with his "This show is just so good." comment.

Ah, forehead kisses, my beloved!!!

Man, the flashbacks to when they were kids overlapping with them right now are just the cutest.

Everyone gather around because I just had a very big-brained thought. Remember, in Ep 8, on the rooftop, Pat wanted to share their relationship with the entire world while Pran asked what's wrong with just wanting to keep it for themselves. What if, whatever happened with their relationship after that, was just exploring both their paths? They clearly tried Pat's way first because Pran cared about him, despite his worry, and it resulted in the Ep 11 ending. After that, they took Pran's way and we all saw how it panned out for them. It might've taken them four years, but their parents are kinda onboard with their relationship.

Now that we're on this subject, let me try to provide some context to Wai pulling down the curtain on their relationship. Not defending his actions, but me thinks it was very intentional that Wai heard Pran say that although he's worried about others finding out about their (Pat & Pran's) relationship, he's willing to take the risk because he cares about Pat more. Wai's vindictive ass heard that and went through his montage of Pran lying to me about his relationship with Pat moments in his head and decided to put Pran's words about caring about Pat more to the test.

We get a post-credit scene? Truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Of course it had to be on a rooftop! Wait a second. Pat's birthday is on 23rd April, and the first time Pat slept over in Pran's room is on 24th April. The psychological implications of it all (for me) can't be overstated!!

Pran, my menace-in-residence, was really showing his horny ass by saying, 'The winner can do anything to the loser.' Never change, bestie!!

Well, I got the house tour I asked for earlier. Fucking Architectural Digest could never.

They shut the door in my face, and I said thank you!!

Honestly, I don't think I've even processed the finale yet. It was very pleasing to my lizard brain, that's for sure. I need to sit with it for a few days, and I'll probably write something about my whole experience liveblogging this BB watch and my thoughts on some of the CHOICES made in the whole series. A sneak peek of few things that are marinating in my head are—

Pat associating Pran with home because he feels lost (I was only half-joking when I compared him to a lost puppy following Pran around).

The air of sadness around Pat that just goes unacknowledged for the most part.

Pran associating Pat with freedom because he feels burdened.

Pran feeling undeserving of Pat's love.

Like I said, I'll be thinking about them a WHOLE LOT.

Quick question: Were there any talks of a season 2? Because there are some easter eggs peppered throughout the series that deserve further exploration, and they definitely have issues they need to address and work through as a couple. This ending will only count as an HFN (happy for now) in my book. I'm putting this ending on par with the To My Star ending, and I adored To My Star 2, so there's that. Still waiting for To My Star 3, though that's a discussion for another day.

One thing I can say for sure is that I'm extremely grateful for the fandom that has welcomed me with open arms and engaged with all my ramblings each episode, because let's be honest, it was just a stream of consciousness.

I wouldn't have had nearly as much fun watching the series without you guys. I'll be camping out on the rooftop for so long that I'll be claiming squatters rights for sure!!!

Tagging the usual suspects: @shortpplfedup, @incandescentflower, @starryalpacasstuff, @7nessasaryevils, @greenteadumplings, @grapejuicegay, @madworld-bbs, @usodeshou, @tao-moonb, @fanatic-freakshow @desi-yearning.

[myokk]

I love you all so much🥹♥️♥️♥️

@thingsmaygetalittlecrazy @n0va25 @ravenwind-75 @rypnami @okeydokeylackey @honeyed-blossom @light-of-the-room YOU ARE ALL SO SO SO SWEET FOR TAGGING ME🥹🫂🫂♥️♥️😭♥️😭😭🫂🫂🫂

When I joined the fandom in April/May of last year, I didn’t expect for it to become This. I’m normally just a lurker online, posting with 0 engagement and having a lot of fun seeing everytbing anyways, but leaving comments and seeing everything you all post while I drink my morning coffee has become the highlight of my day!!! I genuinely love talking and connecting with all of you so so so much♥️♥️♥️

Special shoutout to my Canadian alter-ego yapping gremlin @choccy-milky (im almost back🤭😈) you’ve made being in this fandom so much fun!!!

@thingsmaygetalittlecrazy IM TAGGING YOU AGAIN😤😤🤭 Dani why are you so sweet and amazing!!!! I LOVE YAPPING WITH YOU SO MUCH & YOUR ART IS INCREDIBLE♥️♥️♥️ I was already excited to see your art before you posted & then you blew me away with your talent🫨🫨🫨

@elliecutte AN ABSOLUTE ANGEL !!!!!!! I’m so happy you found my fic and my blog and that we started talking!!♥️♥️♥️ seeing notifications from you always makes me smile🥹🥹🥹

@latymerct the only girl here who understands that older music/rock is the BEST & Lyle is the only mc that is canon to Eloise for me🥰🥰🥰 I hope you’ve had an amazing time over the holidays!!♥️

@bassicallymaestra Kelly, you were my FIRST fandom friend & my first ever ask (about the pencils😆😆♥️) AND I ALWAYS LOVE TALKING WITH YOU WHEN YOURE ON HERE!!!!!!

@kay9leo THANK YOU for being you & for always being so sweet and supportive!!! I need to catch up on your writing, but I LOVE your writing style/voice so much & your art is so cute🥹 I may or may not have lots of little sketches with Iñaki and Eloise I need to upload soon🤭♥️

@sparxyv and @syaolaurant for some reason you two sweet artists came into my life at around the same time & I always love supporting you and seeing your AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING ART!!! & watching you both grow SO MUCH & experiment is literally the coolest thing ever🥹🥹🥹

@writing-intheundercroft for being my first writing friend♥️♥️♥️ idk how we started talking but I love it so much & you already know what a special spot your Theo & Sebastian have in my heart🥰🥰🥰 plus your writing is just so good & always scratches that itch in my brain🤌 plus all of the art you’ve been posting recently is SO CUTE !!!!

@holdmymallowsweet THE SWEETEST PERSON ALIVE !!!!!!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ I don’t know if iou know this, but you were the first person to actually leave comments on my fic (i’d been posting it for months to an audience of: me before you found it😆) & it really gave me a lot of motivation!!! Plus it started a friendship with one of my favorite people on here🥰🥰🙏🙏🥹🥹 I love all of your writing: oneshots, the long fic, and now, your art !!!!

@traceyc-uk one of my first artist friends here!! We joined around the same time & I always love seeing New Fifth Year (may he never have a different name), your comics, and how your art evolves so much🥹♥️🥹♥️

@heylorrain tía, tu arte es increíble y estoy muy agradecida por coincidir contigo en este fandom😭♥️♥️♥️♥️ flipo cada vez que veo tus cómics y Lorra es una mc MUY especial para mi🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

@espressoristretto-patronum DES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH😭♥️😭♥️😭♥️😭♥️ my Italian counterpart…you literally have NO reason being so sweet and supportive & the best person ever🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

@light-of-the-room SUCH A SWEETHEART🥹♥️🥹♥️🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

& a million other people, but I ran out of tags😫 I love coming on here & talking with all of you talented people and seeing what you post♥️♥️♥️ sometimes i feel guilty and overwhelmed bc my algorithm doesn’t always show me everything, or I don’t have the energy to leave comments. I always try my hardest to comment on everything i see & like from my sneaky main blog though, & I always want to make sure everyone feels supported here!!

At the end of the day I’m just one girl who comes on here when i have a bit of free time, in addition to writing, creating little fanarts, and doing a million other things that have nothing to do with this fandom (plus work boooooooooooo🥲). So I’ll always be here when I’m able to & support you all♥️♥️♥️🫂🫂🫂 I’m excited to see what 2025 has in store!🙏

[woozisguitar]

happy 200 followers : )

I have a prompt for reader and seokmin, so the reader has parents in almost their late seventies and she is 25, they hope to see her get married but they never pressure her to do that because they like whatever she does.

so, she one day overhears them talking how they like her and are content with whatever they get, she bursts into tears. next thing YK, she tells her best friend seokmin about that and he decides to help her out.

so, yeah, seokmin decides they both can get marry because they both are best friends and he also likes her but never told her and type.

I'm sorry it was so longgg.

jayyyyyy :(((( thank you so so much im so sorry this took far too long but I hope you enjoy!!!

requests for 200 celebration post: open (but closing soon!)

ps: shoutout to @sherlyscatcafe for proof reading this lysm pookie <33

warning: fluff, hints of angst, mentions of weddings

one of the biggest perks in your life was growing up with siblings older than you because not once did you ever have to worry about taking over the family business or continuing a legacy. while they had everything already decided for them, your parents were a lot more lenient when it came to you. they were supportive when you told them that you wanted to take a gap year and go backpacking across europe to find some inspiration. they were also supportive when you got back and announced your interest in theatre, especially playwriting, and that this was your preferred major of choice for college. that's where you first met seokmin.  

it was the first day of freshman year, and it had been a while since you were last in a classroom setting. your parents dropped you off at your dorm, wishing you the best for class and leaving you alone to set up. your parents gave you a fair allowance which, when added to the little money you saved up working jobs, allowed you to opt in for a solo dorm. for the past year or so, you had little to no interactions with strangers who you'd see for a long time, and this made you worry that your social skills were perhaps rusty.  

you saw seokmin near the back of class. the seat next to him was empty, and he was reading a copy of hamlet. you made your way over to him and cleared your throat, announcing your presence. he looked up, pushing his glasses over the bridge of his nose, a glimmer of curiosity in his eyes. you smiled and pointed at the seat next to him. 

“is this taken?"

he shook his head no and smiled, moving his bag to let you take a seat. he went back to reading his book in silence, and you took this as a cue to pull out your own copy of comedy of errors.  

“what's your favorite work of shakespeare?” he asked, after a moment of quiet.  

“oh, me?” he nodded. “it's either hamlet or this,” you said, nodding at the book in your hand.  

“what about you?”  

“either romeo and juliet or a midsummer night’s dream,” he answered instantly.  

“a big romance guy, i see,” you teased him, to which he giggled shyly. “what other books do you like?”  

“not a lot by shakespeare, but i do enjoy other classics like pride and prejudice, persuasion, sense and sensibility, and you get the idea. what about you? big on romances?”  

“hmm, i don’t know. i don’t have a specific genre i enjoy; i’m more interested in the setting of the book and the background highlights of it, you know?”  

seokmin nodded in agreement, and you felt a soft glow in your chest. you barely knew this guy, let alone his name, but already liked being around him.  

“i’m y/n, nice to meet you,” you said, holding your hand out for him to shake.  

“seokmin, and likewise,” he said with a charming smile, shaking your hand. “so, what made you join intro to theatre, y/n?”  

you hesitated to tell him about your gap year. you weren’t particularly ashamed of it, but you noticed that people didn’t react well to it, often resorting to comparing you to your siblings’ success. but your subconscious argued that this guy knew nothing about your siblings and family, so you decided to tell him the truth. to your surprise, seokmin had also taken a gap year to work as an actor in a local play and decided to go to college after wrapping up to polish his skills further.  

your similar past and even more similar taste in hobbies instantly made you take a liking to him. from asking each other to be partners, taking up almost all the same classes, matching schedules, late-night binge-watching tv, attending (and performing) plays in theaters big and small, you had seokmin by your side. you had seen every possible side of each other: sad, heartbroken, vulnerable, raw—you name it. he had seen it all and still decided to stick by your side. when you told him about your plans to do an mfa in playwriting and direction rather than performing on stage, he had given you utmost support and joked that you should cast him and give him his big break.  

and much less to your surprise, you found seokmin sitting there in your postgraduate class for creative writing. when questioned about his sudden plan to pursue the degree, 'i’m just following where my heart takes me,' was all he said.  

years passed, but your friendship with seokmin only grew. he was one of the closest people in your life, your best friend, and you knew you were his too. he met your family, who accepted him as one of their own and often teased the two of you about romantic ties. he had been your date to all your siblings’ weddings, saving you from sticky situations with pesky relatives, and at this point, everyone was convinced the two of you were endgame. however, whenever someone asked, you’d just politely smile and decline, saying you’re just friends.  

but now that you were twenty-five, and your parents were well in their seventies, they started to bring up the topic of you hopefully getting married. they never pressured you into going on dates or meeting their friends’ sons, not even once, but they did express how much they’d love to see their youngest daughter get married. that was until one night, when you were staying over at your parents’ house, you overheard a conversation.  

“i’m worried, you know,” your dad said. “i’m scared one day we won’t be around, and she’ll be all lonely.” 

your mum made her way from the vinyl shelf to her husband, taking a seat next to him. “she’s capable of taking care of herself, you know.” 

“i know she is, but still, as her father, i worry. i just really hoped to walk her down the aisle to a man i know will always keep my daughter happy. i would die a happy man.”

“yes, but she’s happy now. let her be. her happiness is all that matters, after all,” your mum patted your dad’s hand and squeezed it, giving him a small smile.   your dad nodded, accepting your mother’s words.  your heart absolutely burst into parts. with tears streaming down your face, you decided that you would fulfill their one wish in return for all the love they gave you.  

“i want to get married.”  

seokmin spit out the drink he was nursing at your sudden confession. after leaving your parents’ home, you called seokmin and asked him to meet you at your regular coffee shop.  

“so... so suddenly?” seokmin asked after wiping the corner of his mouth, his drink now forgotten.  

“yeah, it’s just—” you stopped. you knew he wouldn’t judge you, but you weren’t sure yourself. part of you wanted to wait for love like everyone else, but the other, much stronger part of you wanted to fulfill your parents’ wish. you told him about the conversation you overheard and looked back at seokmin to say, “it’s just that i want them to be happy, you know? they’ve done so much for me and let me explore myself into being this person with no pressures. i just want to give back to them.”  

seokmin nodded solemnly, and you could almost hear the gears in his head turning. after a moment of silence, he quipped, “we... could get married.”  

now it was your turn to stay quiet. marriage? with seokmin?  

in hindsight, it wasn’t a bad thought. you trusted seokmin with your life and knew he would never do anything to hurt you. your careers aligned, so you wouldn’t have to worry about what the other does or how it will affect them, and he had spent over enough nights to know the two of you could coexist very peacefully in the same space.  you slowly looked at seokmin and nodded. “are you sure, though?”  

in return, he just gave you his trademark smile and said, “yeah, i’m just following where my heart takes me.”  

the two of you decided to announce your ‘engagement’ to both your families by the end of the month. you tried to be more affectionate in public, in front of your friends especially, so the sudden marriage announcement wouldn’t come as a shock. you even started to show a more romantic side of each other on your social media. seokmin took you to decide on a ring, one that he had saved for, and booked the two of you a dinner cruise with his planned proposal. all he said was, “can’t let the romantic in me die now, can i?”  

now, in the car seat outside your parents’ house, with a ring on your finger, you were worried about how they would take the news. your entire family, siblings and their spouses too, were present for this dinner, and you couldn’t think of a better place to announce it.  seokmin opened the door for you and held your hand throughout. his presence felt like the comfort you desperately needed. your family welcomed the two of you with warm hugs and kisses, no one noticing the ring. when dinner rolled around, you and seokmin shared a look, deciding this was the right time to announce it. you clinked your glass with a fork, standing up and waiting for the room to quieten.

 “we... have an announcement,” you looked over at seokmin, who gave you an encouraging smile. “seokmin and i are getting married,” you smiled in your parents’ direction.  

the whole room erupted into cheers, your sisters fighting over to see your ring while the men patted seokmin on the back. your mom hugged you tight, a small tear sliding down her cheek, and you saw your dad discreetly wipe his own. in that moment, you saw seokmin and realized maybe he was meant to be yours all along.  

the next few months passed in a blur of wedding preparations. both your and seokmin’s families were excited at the news of their youngest getting married and pressed the two of you to plan the wedding of the decade. getting over your initial hesitance, you decided to fully enjoy the planning, and seokmin’s forever-positive outlook made even the tedious tasks seem enjoyable. one night, when you finally had some alone time with no deadlines to finish and no wedding meetings scheduled, you decided to look through your old photos and videos, backing them up and sorting them. you were honestly surprised at the amount of photos and memories you had with seokmin, some of which you didn’t even remember, and you were glad to have them saved digitally. looking at the picture of seokmin you took during freshman year, you felt your heart skip a beat and small butterflies erupt in your stomach.  

he looked so much younger than he does now, yet so much the same. he gave this signature toothy grin, posing with a bagel. you giggled to yourself as you saw more silly pictures of him, and you thought to yourself, ‘what if i like him more than a friend?’ you quickly shook it off because this was seokmin for god’s sake! he had seen you get drunk and throw up in front of your long-time crush, all while trying not to get sick himself. he was your closest confidant, but now that the thought entered your mind, you couldn’t help but wonder if it’s really such a bad idea to love seokmin more than a friend.  

the wedding planning was of no help to your already tumultuous thoughts and feelings that were growing for seokmin, and spending all your time with him, along with the romantic acts he did to come off as the perfect fiancé, took a toll on your poor heart. one week after you first had the thought, you had now realized that you may have been in love with seokmin all this time.  

you remembered precisely when it started: during your second year of undergrad, when your boyfriend broke up with you, and only seokmin was able to comfort you. he held you as you cried, got you ice cream, and binged cheesy sad romance movies with you. he was always there, just a call away, and you now realized that the adoration you held so dearly for him was actually love. no wonder you barely had any successful relationships after that, because all you searched for in them was seokmin, subconsciously comparing them all to your best friend. hell, when the two of you announced your engagement on your socials, everyone from your old university, including your exes, joked that they always knew you’d end up with seokmin. it has truly always been him.

seokmin wasn’t doing so great either. when he first proposed the idea of marriage, he thought he could keep his romantic thoughts to himself. but soon, seeing you in such a romantic and domestic light, all the feelings he had spent years suppressing started to bubble over the surface. he’d catch himself staring longer than a friend should and mentally reprimand himself for slipping. thank god you were always distracted by something to notice. sometimes he felt like he was betraying you by not telling you the truth, and these conflicting emotions led to him making a very stupid decision. or perhaps a great one, his subconscious argued.  

seokmin decided to confess everything during your rehearsal dinner party, finding it harder and harder to keep his feelings under wraps. he arrived at the venue beforehand to decide on the spot where he would confess. he figured if you accepted his feelings, it should be a moment that lived fresh in his mind for all his days, and if you were to reject him, he would at least like to be rejected in front of a pretty view. always such a romantic, your voice rang in his head, and a smile formed on his face. seokmin gave himself a small pep talk, texting you to meet him by the bench around the back of your venue.  

he saw you walk out, looking around in awe at the empty courtyard, with fallen cherry blossoms from the trees scattered around. your eyes met his, and you gave him a shy smile, making his heart skip a beat. you made your way over to him, and his heart started to beat faster.  “what's up?” you said, giving him a questioning smile.  “i—” seokmin’s words were stuck in his throat. for a second, he was so mesmerized by you, just you, that he forgot what he had prepared and just said, “i love you.”  

now it was your turn to be at a loss for words. seokmin took your silence as a cue to continue.  “i... i love you. and i’m not saying this now, just two days before our wedding, for the sake of it. i have been in love with you for so long. years, if i’m being honest. you own every corner of my heart. hell, you are my heart. my everything. that's why i felt compelled to be closer to you, to have you near me. you were the one my heart made me follow, y/n. i just don’t want to marry you, if you still want to marry me, under a fake guise that i am doing this to help you, and i couldn’t help but feel like i was betray—”  seokmin’s spiraling rambling was cut off by you softly pressing your lips against his.  

seokmin’s eyes grew wide, and he froze. when you felt him try to pull back, he grabbed the back of your head and kissed you back. his lips moved slowly against yours before you pulled back to take a deep breath, a smile gracing your face.  seokmin mirrored your smile and dived back in to kiss you again. this time, the kiss was filled with his desperation and longing for you.  “god, i fucking love you, you cheesy-ass romantic,” you whispered breathlessly when the two of you separated.  seokmin giggled and kissed your nose. “not as much as i love you, pretty girl.”  

when you stood at the altar with him by your side saying, “i do,” you realized that this was your destiny all along. like a theater play, the two of your lives were written to play out this way. and while everyone wants to have the romantic interest who follows his heart all for themselves, this one will belong to you, forever and always. 

[thenewestxmen]

Wade and Logan’s legs were untangled as Logan rested on wades chest. No clue why Wade would be fine with a 400 something man on him, slowly suffocating him, but I guess he can’t die from crushing ig. Logan feels asleep almost immediately while laying on top of Wade, listening to his heart beat and his breathing. Wade enjoys this too, it grounds him into the present. He plays with the older man’s hair, twirling his finger around his ‘kitty ears’, and sometimes kissing the top of his head. They lay there for a moment, before Wade slips out from under Logan, to go make breakfast. Logan has been much more stressed lately, bouncing from job to job mainly as a construction worker. He continues to accidentally scare his co workers with his claws. The one he is on right now, the new job, is incredibly close the X-Mansion. Logan has not had much time to process that this universes X-men were still alive, but as he works, all he can think about is the horror of the professor approaching him and asking him to join his X-men. That, to Logan, is terrifying. 

Wade gets up and makes Logan’s favorite breakfast; some bacon, lightly grilling it on the stove. He also makes some pancakes, not Logan’s favorite but definitely wades. Logan stirred as the smell wafted over to the couch. 

Logan started to complain that his boyfriend was not there anymore.

“It’s ok, Wolvie, I’ll be over in a minute.” Wade said, piling of bacon and pancakes onto two plates. He came over, setting the plates of food on the coffee table and sat on Logan’s lap, now that he was sitting up. 

“Breakfast in couch!” Wade exclaimed with jazz hands.

Logan grinned and pulled wades lips to his own, kissing him with intensity and happiness. Neither of them minded their morning breath.

“Thanks bub. But, why?” Logan asked, still confused on wades motive. 

Wade started to blush, hiding his face in Logan’s neck.

“You’ve been stressed, so today I’m going to treat you because it’s your day off…” Wade mumbles.

Logan seemed to hear him because he grinned and wrapped him arms around him, holding Wade for a moment.

They ate breakfast while watching Logan’s favorite movie, 300. And as they finished- - HEY! WADE STOP! HEY- hey guys, it’s Deadpool, and finally getting a break from Vee. Why should she decide how I’m feeling? Anyways, here we go. I’m held in Logan’s big muscular arms watching 300, which I’m pretty sure is Logan’s age. His hair still messy and so fucking sexy from waking up. UGH. And I can hardly conceal my hard di- -

Vee: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Wade: OOP, Vee! How are yah

Vee:THERES NO SEX IN THIS FIC!

Wade: REALLY?! WHAT KIND OF FICTION ARE YOU WRITING HERE?!

Vee: GIVE ME MY COMPUTER BACK OR ELSE I’LL HAVE LOGAN BREAK UP WITH YOU!

Wade: you wouldn’t…

Vee:try me.

Wade: ugh. Fine.

ANYWAYS! When they finished breakfast, Wade pushed Logan into the closet (not again! sorry couldn’t help myself) and handed him his favorite clothes. They both went downtown, into the park, walking around. Logan was obviously grateful to just have Wade with him, let alone wade treating him. Around lunch, they both went to the Shawarma place, eating on the bench outside the shop, the familiarity of the moment comforting.

“You’re the best, bub.”

“No, you’re the bestest.”

Logan put a first hand on wades leg, smiling. Wade let his head sink down to rest on the older man’s shoulder.

They spent the rest of the day going to Logan’s favorite places, seeing his favorite people, which would be summed up to in bed, next to Wade. They arrived home and did just that, cuddling and in each others arms. Logan’s tense arms had softened after the days quiet and relaxing agenda.

“I love you.” Wade said as they were both drifting to sleep.

“I love you too.”

[demo-whale]

Brosten

I wrote these hcs like four years ago and they got quite a bit of love! However, I'm cleaning up my old blog (because I decided to separate my interests a little bit) so I'm reposting them here! Enjoy!

Matt carries Neil everywhere they go together

Matt is canonically like 3x larger than Neil so it takes zero effort for him to just sling Neil into his arms

Neil LOVES it

He wasn’t ever really touched in a loving way when he was younger, and he feels really safe with Matt and it’s so goofy

They fist bump each other all the time

Matt teaches Neil about “that’s what she said” and they go OFF with the dirty jokes

They’re constantly trying to make each other laugh in inappropriate settings

Wymack never ever lets them go on press duty together because all they do is make up horrible stories in response to reporter’s questions on the fly

Reporter: Mr. Josten, you made an incredible goal in the last few minutes of the game, how did you manage to get around those backliners in time?

Neil, completely straight faced: oh i have the ability to freeze time. it’s really inconvenient for the other teams

Matt, also straight faced: yeah but he gets a hangover the next day if he does it often so he has to hold back until the end

Reporter: :(

So. Much. Shoulder. And. Back. Thumping.

They keep coming up with increasing ridiculous bro nicknames, like one day Matt will call Neil brochacho so Neil will call Matt brotato chip and it escalates so they’re calling each other like,,,,broppa gangam style and brofessor x

They get Kevin in on the bro nicknames and they like to call each other “bro exy players” 

When the girls have their “girls night” (and i firmly believe they do, every wednesday) Matt likes to go hang out in Neil’s room 

They like to cuddle and watch movies, and Nicky 100% joins them 

They go for Starbucks with Dan on Saturday mornings

(Sometimes Andrew goes with them, but Neil always brings back a drink for Andrew)

Matt is the first person on the team (aside from Andrew) who Neil shows his scars to

It’s followed by lots of hugging and promises that Neil is safe with Matt

Neil believes it

They crack each other’s backs all the time, and Neil is so lithe and little that he can actually walk on Matt’s back for him

They just like to hang out together???? Like Neil hasn’t ever really had “guy friends” and I think it’s so great that Neil lets himself enjoy close relationships with people he loves and trusts

Ugh I just love them so much they are the epitome of that bro meme. Pt. 2 being posted soon!

[thedisablednaturalist]

I dont know if it’s something youve been asked before, and i dont know how to really phrase my thoughts. But whats it like working in like environmental things well disabled? Have you met many, or any, other disabled people in the field? I’m 16, and ever since I was little I’ve had so much passion for environmental education in particular, and it was a field I wanted to go into for a long time. Sadly it seems like my body has other plans, I’m currently at a point where I might have to drop out of highschool because managing class and disability is too much, and so college feels impossible. And when it was mostly mental stuff I had thought about maybe joining americorps or something because it looked like they’ll take people with a ged and then I could still do work I care about, but I’ve only ever met one physically disabled person doing anything related to the environment and stuff (there’s a person with leg braces and a service dog who works at the local aquarium) so I never really get a chance to ask about this stuff

so idk, sorry if I’m rambling a lot and hard to understand. If it makes you feel any better I’ve cornered every environmental educator I’ve met the last year or so (and I go to a project based environmental charter school thing, so I meet a lot) and asked them a lot of questions too. Especially since my school encourages us to think about future careers and what skills we need

so idk, I want to know. What’s it like? Is it hard? What did you have to do to get the job you have now? Do you regret it, would you choose something different if you could go back? Do you have any advice?

I hope you’re having an ok day, and that I’m not too annoying, and thank you if you even took the time to read this far. -🌱

no no don't apologize, this is exactly what this blog is for. When I started my journey I couldn't find any outspoken disabled environmentalists or any resources for people like us. So I started this blog to compile resources and share what I've learned as my career has progressed. I want everyone regardless of physical or mental state to be able to pursue their passions in environmental science and conservation.

Honestly, this field has a long way to go still. Even big institutions like the Smithsonian haven't quite figured it out yet. But there is definitely a shift happening. I've been seeing so many more disabled young people interested in this field and its amazing. I saw another physically disabled student at the Smithsonian conservation biology institute when I visited as an alum a few weeks ago, and I believe I was one of if not the first person to attend as a wheelchair user (yeah they didn't know what to do with me 😮‍💨) I had a professor who directly singled me out for being a wheelchair user so you will unfortunately run into some bigots in this field.

However the federal government (im assuming you are in the US so apologies if you're not) especially during the Biden administration has been ramping up its hiring of Schedule A employees. Schedule A allows you to circumvent the competitive process through the WRP (workplace recruitment program) once you've graduated college (or GED). Schedule A can be provided by a doctor or disability counselor (My DARS office did mine, love DARS: it's free and every state has one). My manager is HOH as well as one of my new coworkers and I was of course recently hired by the EPA as well. The EPA is probably the most disability friendly place to work in our field, if not anywhere. It has its issues but I've been pretty much over-accommodated instead of under (sad I consider the minimum accommodations to feel excessive).

Here's some of the things I've learned so far:

1. My biggest advice to anyone your age wanting to get into this field is to volunteer volunteer volunteer!! You are most likely at a time where you can afford to work for free. Most environmental internships are unpaid unless you have prior experience with the organization. Try out a bunch of different experiences to find out what you like the most. I never would have thought I'd be a bug person until I did my first invertebrate stream assessment. I got into environmental science late in my college career so it took me a lot longer to figure out what I wanted to do. Get as much experience as you can while you are still supported by your parents and don't have to worry about things like rent or bills. Some organizations are trying to change this so people from lower incomes can still have the same opportunities, but it still has a ways to go. Notably zookeepers have to work either for free or for dirt cheap for a couple years before they get hired full time.

2. Be prepared to lose out on your dream job due to your disability(s). I'm going to be frank and not spout any of that "you can do anything you put your mind to" bullshit. Yes, most things CAN be done by anyone with the right accommodations, but in a field where a large percentage of the work is done physically, you will be unable to do some types of jobs. I'm not saying it's impossible to get your dream job with disabilities, but it's a very common experience for us. For example, I looked into working on a boat. In a perfect world, I'd be given limitless accommodations and time to rest but on a boat that is extremely difficult. You can't take sick days whenever you need them. This was the same thing I had to realize when I was offered my dream job in my dream location: A stream specialist field technician for the USGS in Portland Oregon. I absolutely loved working in the field, and yes there are many of us who do/did fieldwork using mobility aids. I miss fieldwork everyday. But I had to turn it down. I knew deep down I couldn't handle it, having scheduled in advance field excursions that I couldn't postpone, having to hike in difficult terrain in remote locations, even moving across the entire country, at least at the time, was improbable. I was barely holding on at my field job where I did have safety nets. I just couldn't justify the financial and physical strain as well as the risk if I wasn't able to do the job and became unemployed. It broke my heart to give it up and I'm still grieving. But I do enjoy my current job and it lets me prioritize my health. No longer do I just work and sleep because work would take up all my spoons. I've been drawing and gaming and spending more time with loved ones. It is an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes what we want isn't what we need. Being disabled means that sometimes we have to make hard decisions that abled people don't ever have to think about. It's part of the grieving process for those of us who were abled at some point. I can't speak on what it's like for those with lifelong disabilities from birth, but I know its hard for them too.

3. Ok yeah 2 was a huge bummer, but here's where it gets better: When one door with stairs closes, a door with a ramp opens. There will be other opportunities. This field isn't just fieldwork despite what most people think. You don't have to be a super strong ranger that can hike 20 miles in a day without breaking a sweat to do environmental work. The field needs people who take what the guys outside collect and analyze it, research it, visualize it, present on it, take care of it, write about it, archive it, make art of it, etc etc etc. There are so many organizations that need people who can do data analysis and administration. Working at a desk doesn't make you less of an environmentalist. Plus that's not all, you can work in a lab or work with smaller creatures like bugs or herps or fish or you could do botany or geology! You don't need to be able to go out and get them yourself to work with them. Being able to save energy during my workday allows me to pursue my passions like collecting bugs and swimming. I can volunteer with citizen science projects or conservation orgs and still do fieldwork, but because its not a job I can do it when I feel up to it, I don't have to push myself to keep going because I'm worried about being fired. I currently work as a data analyst for the EPA and I work mostly from home so I can do my work without suffering. Yea data analysis isn't my favorite thing in the world but your job doesn't have to be. Sometimes a job is something that makes you money so you can do your passions outside of it. But I am happy the work I do supports something I am passionate about (supporting states so they can clean up more sites and thus have cleaner water).

4. You'll have to learn how to advocate for yourself. Push against boundaries. Explore your options. Especially with doctors. You know yourself best, don't let anyone else define your boundaries for you, even me. If someone says you can't do something because of your disability, but you know that you actually can, tell them and be assertive about it. Many of us are seen as abrasive and rude, but to be a disabled person in a very abled centered world you gotta be. Don't let anyone hold you back because THEY feel uncomfortable. My coworkers at my old job were worried for me when I showed up to work with my crutches for the first time. But it actually made me BETTER at stream assessments (having four legs means you don't slip as much). I could do it even if I needed to take breaks and use mobility aids. Nowadays it's too much for me to be doing that but at the time it was within my limits. And sometimes, you'll overestimate yourself and end up flaring or hurting yourself. It's okay to make mistakes, it doesn't make you a bad person. At first you'll push through too much but as you learn your body's limits you'll get better at managing your disability. And sometimes a great memory is worth a week-long flare up. Its for YOU to decide what you can do.

That's all I can think of for now, I should probably get ready for bed soon. But just remember, there are more of us than they think and we can be capable, productive, and a benefit to the environmental movement no matter our ability or skills.

If you have anymore specific questions, or just need to talk, I'm always available (even if I might take a while to reply).