#i was on rare darren criss photos instagram (don’t ask) and they said it was from a deleted s6 thing

[porcelainvino]

these OUTFITS

[missaudreyhorney]

(Almost) Every Idea Ever

Although I rarely ever finish writing a fic, that never stops me from getting new ideas for them. Terrible, horrible, dumpster fire ideas. Okay, some of them are wholesome on occasion, but mostly it’s just filth. I've excluded a couple of things because either they were just too awful to mention or I’m currently working on them and I want it to be a surprise.

The first story I started to write this year was original fiction but with the main male character heavily inspired by Jim Hopper. It was about a recently married young woman having an affair with her father-in-law. This really set a precedent for the rest of my ideas and should indicate to you the level of depravity on this list.

Hopper x Reader:

Hurts So Good series - In 1982, Reader is Mayor Kline’s daughter and has a crush on Chief Hopper. She decides to pursue him and things don’t go quite as planned but they still end up having steamy, rough sex. A secret affair begins between the two of them but it eventually leads to heartbreak. Heavy emphasis on Dom/sub and pain kink. - Initial pursuit, fingering in the car, sex (60%) - Phone sex the following day (70%) - Rough sex, bordering on consensual nonconsent (partially written) - Introduction to Daddy kink (notes) - Body worship (notes) - Bruise kink (notes) - Facesitting (50%) - hurt/comfort throatfucking, an argument, angst/fluff (75%) - Orgasm denial/control (70%) - Possible gunplay? (Unwritten) - Disciplinary spanking (notes)

Dress You Up series - In 1985, Hopper meets plus-size!Reader at JCPenney when he comes in to pick out a shirt for his date. After Joyce stands him up, he decides to come back and ask Reader out instead. Probably the cutest idea I’ve ever had for smut. Inspired by flamehairedwritings and flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash. - 1st meeting, 2nd meeting, date, sex (50%) - 2nd date, a continuation of My First Drabble (partially written) - Meeting El and she’s standoffish (notes)

Domestic Smut - Reader and husband!Hopper are at the cabin alone together one weekend. After breakfast, she tries to wash the dishes but the sink is broken, the water squirting everywhere. A water fight turns into a tickle fight which turns into kitchen table sex. (50%)

Hopper blindfolding Reader during sex at the cabin (Notes)

Hopper blindfolding Reader during a blowjob in his office at the police station (Minimal notes)

Hopper rubbing a popsicle on Reader’s body then licking it off (Minimal notes)

Hopper coming over to Reader’s house, unannounced, late at night, in the rain, for a quick rough fuck. Inspired by one of the pictures from the Playboy shoot. (Partially written)

Licking Hopper’s hand and arm veins to get his attention while he reads the Sunday newspaper. (Unwritten)

Sucking Hopper’s cock while he smokes a cigar on the porch and either ignores you or looks at you with disdain. Inspired by a compilation video of David smoking a cigar on Instagram Live. (Unwritten)

Consensual nonconsent fantasy where Hopper touches Reader and tells her to say no to him while he’s making her cum. Rough, forceful sex immediately follows. (Partially written)

Bootlicker - anti-cop Reader has a secret fetish for cops and Hopper is more than happy to oblige them and keep quiet about it. (Notes)

Working out my own personal issues via smut, bigender-questioning AFAB Reader puts on Hopper’s uniform shirt and hat. Much to their delight, he says they look like a boy. He also says “If you’re going to dress like a boy, I’m going to fuck you like one.” Basically just incredible anal sex while Hopper calls Reader a good boy. Extremely niche subject but the fantasy of this is so affirming to me, I can’t not think about it. (Notes)

Hopper x Reader requests

A sequel to Little Magnum where the dog is a few years older. There is maybe also a cat? (Unwritten)

Fire & Ice - Reader is playing in the snow when it’s getting dark outside. Hopper tells them to come in but they don’t listen. Reader falls and hurts their ankle then Hopper gets angry at their disobedience. Not because he’s a jerk, but because he can’t imagine his life without Reader and doesn’t want to lose them. Angsty hurt/comfort. (~70%)

Replacement idea since Fire & Ice was much too angsty - Reader gets stung by a bee and Hopper freaks out. Reader is fine but he babies them nonetheless, because again, his greatest fear is losing them. Very cute and silly. (unwritten)

Freezeframe - Reader bought Hopper a Polaroid camera for his birthday and he hasn’t used it months later. Taking matters into her own hands, she uses the camera for some naughty selfies. Once Hopper finds the pictures, he decides to assume the role of photographer and gets some very intimate shots of Reader. (80-85%)

Morning Wood - Reader lets themself into the cabin early one Summer morning and sees Hopper in bed, fully nude, just a sheet covering the part they want to see most. Hop wakes up, invites Reader into bed with him, and a blowjob ensues. Very detailed description of his body. (Notes)

Hopper gets injured and needs Reader to patch him up. She gets pissed though for him being in yet another dangerous situation where he yet again gets hurt. Reader reprimanding him leads to confessions of feelings which leads to sex. (Unwritten)

Reader has been feeling ignored by Hopper lately and decides to make him jealous to get his attention. She flirts with another man at a bar while Hopper watches and seethes with rage. He punishes her by dragging her into the parking lot then spanking over the tailgate of his Chevy Blazer. Rough sex and more spanking goes down back at the cabin. Based on my jealous!Hopper headcanon post. (Partially written)

Principal Hopper  - One of the worst ideas I’ve ever had, which is saying A LOT. High school principal Hopper catches one of his 18-year-old female students spying on him between classes and confronts her about it. Sexual tension bubbles up until neither of them can control themselves. Based on a fantasy told to me by a friend who I will not name. (Notes)

Hopper x Reader AUs

Messing Around With Jim series - A continuation of The Big Game, Afterschool Special, and Third Time’s A Charm. Modern!Hopper and Reader having all kinds of sex. - Fingering, gentle sex, tender orgasm control (50%) - Period sex, vibrator (Notes) - First blowjob, a continuation of A Sampling (partially written) - Hop eating Reader’s pussy for his birthday (minimal notes) - Fingering in the car, truck bed sex (notes) - Another blowjob, rough sex over the hood of a car (partially written) - Pussy eating at the park (notes) - Hop not understanding FaceTime, fluff, smut (unwritten) - Roleplaying how they met, sex at Reader’s parents house (notes) - July 4th fingering, rough sex, surprises (notes) - Remote control vibrator (partially written) - More pussy eating, this time in Hop’s cutting edge shirt (partially written) - Yet another blowjob, this time in a movie theater (unwritten) - Jealousy resulting in overstimulation/”forced” orgasms (notes) - 4 part miniseries about butt plugs/anal sex (notes) - Confronting her parents, angst (55-60%) - Learning about Sara, ANGST! (notes)

Vacation series - modem!Hopper and Reader go on vacation together. That’s it, that’s the plot. Idea from David’s Croatian vacation pics and conversations with Tayler. All just notes at this point. - Christening the hotel bed - Bratty Reader getting semi-publicly punished - Hopper taking care of drunk!Reader, humor, fluff - Double date

carpenter!Hopper - Reader is recently divorced and hires Hop to make repairs on her house before she sells it. Graphic detail of him doing manly things like sawing and hammering. Porn with plot. Inspired by another friend, she knows who she is. (Notes in the form of a 500-word summary)

Detective Hopper - various bits and pieces of ideas inspired by David being digitally handcuffed to Darren Criss and Michael Stuhlbarg in Vanity Fair, plus a few pictures in 2016. (Unwritten)

Captain Hopper - a collaboration with @pkg4mumtown. She said she was thinking about fire captain!Hopper rescuing her from a burning building and I told her my pre-existing firefighter idea of being saved and then wanting to thank him in a variety of ways. Things snowballed from there and I decided we need to write it. Mostly just notes so far. - Initial meeting, first date, sex - Second date, making dinner together, sex

Hopper x Joyce:

There is a list of my Jopper ideas (Various degrees of notes)

Teenage Joyce and Hopper meeting in high school and their relationship that follows. Maybe a oneshot? Maybe a series? (Notes)

Hopper x Billy: (Over 18-years-old and no longer in high school!)

1940/50’s AU - Hopper meets expat Billy at a cigar club while on vacation in Havana. A familiar face, so to speak, in a foreign land. Hop pays Billy to take him back to his apartment and “keep him company”. Maybe two chapters? Inspired by a photo of Dacre Montgomery in GQ Germany. (Partially written.)

Hopper catches Billy “renting his time” at a truck stop outside of town and threatens to arrest him, but Billy bribes him with sex. (Unwritten.) I’m sorry but there’s just something about the idea of rent boy Billy that I absolutely love.

Hopper + Billy + Reader - completely implausible threeway (Unwritten)

David Harbour RPF:

AU where instead of being an actor, he’s a drama teacher at a high school in New York City and the kids from Stranger Things are his students. Pure fluff. (Please write this for me!)

Giving him a blow job before an important event. TWO different versions. Inspired by numerous photos of David wearing a robe. (Minimal notes)

Riding his thigh and everything that entails. Inspired by a picture of David from GQ Mexico. (Minimal notes)

touch-starved!David hires a sexworker during the pandemic because he’s lonely quarantining by himself. No sex. He literally just wants a hug and someone to be affectionate with him. Unconventional fluff. (Unwritten)

Other DKH-related shenanigans:

Let’s Ride sequel - Reader goes on a second date with Deacon from SoulCycle, they go out for sashimi and end up at his place. He has a cat that he inherited from a neighbor. Reader teaches him how to put her in a chokehold. (Unwritten)

Alexei Shostakov smut - some type of Bond Girl situation where Reader has to seduce him. Just an excuse for me to lovingly describe his large tattooed body in vivid detail. (Unwritten)

The Stranger - Reader has an ongoing affair with a mysterious man whose name is never mentioned. They meet at high society functions and hook up in fancy hotels. One night, he finds out that she’s married and punishes her for her dishonesty. Inspired by a photo of David looking annoyed in a tuxedo. (Notes)

Daddy Dom/little girl roleplay fantasy. Sweet, smutty, and slightly taboo. (Notes)

Daddy’s Little...Helper - Me, as submissive!Reader, watching Daddy jack off right in front of my face after he comes home from work. Based on a conversation with an Instagram friend and a picture of David in the play “Cal In Camo” where he’s holding a beer bottle between his legs. (65%)

Stranger Things x Twin Peaks crossover - Chief Jim Hopper comes to Twin Peaks to help Special Agent Dale Cooper solve some type of paranormal mystery. Perhaps a parallel between The Black Lodge and The Upside Down? I think this would work really really well, but I can’t write it myself. (Please write this for me!)

In conclusion: Yes, I know I need to have my head examined. Yes, I know I spend too much time thinking about Jim Hopper. Let me know if you LIKE these ideas. Please do not let me know if you hate these ideas.

Tagging: @manawhaat @strangest-hour @007swhore @kingphillipblake @david-harbour-arg @misshawkins1993 @oxforddrama 

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Hello! If you don't mind me asking, why don't you like Rachel? Like, is she problematic or do you just not like her? I personally do like her - no hate to you for not liking her, to each their own! - so I don't know of her being problematic, but if she is, I'm gonna Not and I haven't seen anything, but I'm not that good at, like, looking for problematic stuff, I guess? Sorry if this is word vomit and makes no sense, but have a good day and I love your blog, okay sorry bye.

Hi! First of all, I’m glad you like my blog, so thank you!

As for Rachel...I don’t think she has done anything inherently problematic, so don’t stop liking her on my account! Sometimes you just get a vibe about people or you just don’t like them, I guess. I’ve always got the vibe that she was kind of self centered and a bit shallow, and the relationship just seems sort of staged/PR?

For me personally, I don’t like that she comes across as kind of vapid and attention seeking. On her instagram for the past two months, she’s been posting little “crumbs” to try and allude to her relationship without actually saying it, like she wants Bill fans to take notice?

Recently there was an article that came out that was saying something like “Rachel Bilson is so sorry about her breakup with Adam Brody” - a relationship that was like 10-15 years ago. He’s now married to Leighton Meester and they’re expecting their second child, she’s supposedly dating someone...why bring up a long ended relationship? Why is she talking about it? If it were more recent, I might understand, but the fact is that it was over a decade ago and both have moved on?

Someone also pointed out that all of the pap shots of her are from the same people, backgrid I think, and I swear to god I have NEVER seen someone papped as often as her. Not even the Potter or Stranger Things kids have been papped as often as her, and they are DEFINITELY more famous/sought after than her. Quite a few people think she’s probably calling the paps herself, since it seems that it’s every time she goes out to any store ever.

Let’s be honest for a second - she’s not exactly A-list. The highlights of her career were early 2000s. There’s no way paparazzi are that desperate for this many shoots of her.

Like the staged grocery shopping pics with Bill - Bill has been in the business for roughly 15 years, and in those 15 or so years he has RARELY been papped. He doesn’t like attention, he has anxiety, and it’s clear he doesn’t want his kids to be papped either. He is an extremely private person, which so many of us respect. Literally, I’ve seen like one pap photo of him and one of his daughters. It seems fishy to me that there were more pap photos taken of him with Rachel in the course of a month than there has been the rest of his career, as if people care that they’re grocery shopping or whatever - and they looked angry/mad at each other to boot. Then the photos halted completely after the Golden Globes in January, before social distancing and quarantine was even a thing to be thought about.

Ah, the Golden Globes. It seems weird to me that she only went with him to the GG, but didn’t appear at the Directors Guild Awards (which he won) - it’s like it wasn’t nearly a high profile enough event for her to turn up to. And they looked so awkward and uncomfortable on the red carpet together, like they didn’t want to be there. There’s a video where at one point on the carpet, she’s asks him if he’s smiling and he seems to say “I am, it makes it more real” or something? So much about it is fake and off, like he looked happier hugging Paul Rudd on the carpet than he did standing next to his “girlfriend”, and she looked like she didn’t want to touch him.

I also don’t like how miserable she looks around her daughter, how her daughter is in several paparazzi shots (like the valentines one of her getting cake... no one cares if you’re picking up a cake, hon), and it just seems like she drags the kid out from time to time so she can be seen as a good mom. I truly hope that Bill’s daughters don’t get dragged into that bullshit, I truly do.

Someone on twitter (and this could be bullshit, could be true, take it at what it is) said that their friend lives in Tulsa, and that they were there the day of the “coffee date” pics - apparently Rachel turned up for like an hour or so and then went back to LA. Again, it’s not 100% factual evidence, so...you know.

I know gossip sites are never to be taken seriously but there’s a conversation on a site called Lipstick Alley that sort of sums it up a lot, and there’s someone who’s friend supposedly has worked in the industry/knows about all three parties involved (Bill, Maggie and Rachel). There’s a lot of people discussing it over there, and general consensus seems to be that Bill is a super nice guy, Maggie was a bit of a wifezilla, and Rachel is almost like Bill’s way of saying “look, I CAN get a pretty girl to have sex with me!” Because apparently Maggie made a comment about how the only way Bill could have sex with someone like Rachel was if it was in the film they did together, “The To-Do List” - which Maggie directed and both Bill and Rachel were in. It’s not like it’s a site made up of “jealous fans” who want to date him either, like I know a few who have said they don’t really like Bill anyway, and that they haven’t for a while because he’s done some problematic stuff in the past (the one that comes to mind is blackface on SNL).

It’s just also super fucking weird - the whole fact they were in a sex scene together a few years before they both got divorced, and now they’re apparently together in real life? Fucking yikes. I don’t think Bill is a cheater, he really doesn’t seem the type, but if I were married to someone and this happened after we divorced, I would have SERIOUS questions and doubts.

I may be completely wrong about her, and I fully accept that. I don’t know any of the people involved, and I never will, and I don’t kid myself into thinking that I’m 100% right or that I’ll ever know these people, even if I were to have a career that took off in either acting or writing (my two goals in life). I still like Bill’s films and I think he’s funny, but that’s the extent of it - it’s like I said in regards to Darren Criss and his wife. I love Darren and have since I was a 13 year old Gleek, I think he’s a cool dude; I don’t like his now-wife and haven’t for a while because...well, that’s a different post entirely. My point is that just because I stan someone, doesn’t mean I automatically have to like the person they’re married to or dating. 98% of the time, I’m like “aww cute” or I’m a fan of the other person in general, or if they’re private/not in the business, I respect that and them and wish their relationship well. I still respect that Darren is married, all the luck to them, I hope they’re happy, but it doesn’t mean I have to like someone. It’s the same for Bill and this situation, like if he’s happy then fair enough, it’s just I don’t really like Rachel anyway.

I’m explaining stuff poorly, I know. Sometimes you just don’t like a person though, even if they haven’t done anything, you know? As my nan would have once said “you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea” - it’s impossible for you to like everyone and for everyone to like you.

I hope you’re well, anon!