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thesvnandthemooon · 2 days ago

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𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝?

a/n: parts of this (especially when it comes to the red room) are inaccurate/not canon compliant; either because of plot reasons or simply because i don't know better lol

summary: you and nat meet in the red room — years later, you reunite. named after the taylor swift song, but not really based on it. just thought it's fitting as the title

warnings: implied sexual contents, abuse, trauma, forced hysterectomy, descriptions of blood (brief); as always — if you notice anything else, tell me!

word count: 15.7k (yes, this is a long one, but i didn’t want to start another series)

✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷ ✷

You're 12 when you meet her again.

Blood under fingernails and girls huddled together in a dark room. Dirt on cheeks, thin clothes, the air way too chilly for a November night.

Natasha's back. Again.

A mission in Ohio had made her believe in something entirely too good to be true. A fantasy, a pipe dream.

Family, warmth, safety. None of it real, all of it temporary. She allowed herself to sink into the feeling anyway and, foolishly, got used to it.

She should've known it'd end eventually. Part of her didn't want to believe it, though. And now she's back here, being delivered to the Red Room. They drag the girls out separately before moving them inside. When the doors open once more, she clings to Yelena. Her sister's body shakes violently.

This is the moment where they part again.

When the girls walk into the dormitory, it's dead silent. Merely the quiet footsteps and the groaning of the door's hinges cut through the quiet of the night. Rows and rows of bunk beds accommodate two dozen girls, covered by threadbare blankets. They barely stir — at this point, they're too used to this routine to care.

You, however, are awake. The door opening causes the dim glow of the hallway light to seep into the otherwise dark room, and you peek at the door. A handful of the girls, most of them ignoring you and heading straight for the few empty beds.

Only a pair of green eyes meets yours.

The first thing you notice is her blue hair. Then, you dare glancing at her face.

I know her, you think before looking away.

Bedsheets rustle. Natasha climbs into the spot above yours.

. . .

You should've known better than to step out of line.

The Red Room doesn't want you to show mercy, or take it easy on your opponents. It wants you cold and ruthless, not soft and sweet. If there's a gun in your hand, you shoot. If you have someone pinned to the ground, you deliver the final strike.

But you never, ever hesitate.

The instructors were furious. Not only did they haul you off the ground and shove you into the sensory deprivation room, but they also took away your food rations for the day.

The result?

Sitting in a cafeteria full of girls, who all have a tray of food in front of them. Bland chicken, overcooked vegetables, some bread. Dry, soggy, stale. Far from fine dining, but at least it'll fill their stomachs up about halfway.

You keep your eyes glued to the table in front of you, fingers drumming against your thighs.

Suddenly, a slice of bread is slid across the metal surface of the table. You look up, if only briefly, and meet the same pair of eyes you saw last night.

Natasha.

Your mouth opens, then you close it abruptly. No talking — you almost forgot about that rule. But she looks like she doesn't want you to thank her, either. Her face is stoic, apart from the ever so slightly furrowed eyebrows. She looks at her tray again, at the white piece of chicken, and cuts it in half.

You don't even think about what kind of risk she just took, as you're too hungry to focus on the do's and don't's of the Red Room. You just grab the bread and quickly eat it by tearing it into small pieces.

Somehow, no one notices.

"Thank you", you whisper that same night. No response comes from the bunk above yours.

. . .

Rustling of bedsheets and a bunk mate that won't stop tossing and turning.

Natasha glares at the ceiling, her arms crossed over her chest. The blanket is thin and worn, the room cold. Almost everyone else is asleep, at least judging by the quiet breathing and the silence of unmoving bodies.

Of course, everyone but the girl sleeping in the bed beneath hers.

It's been an hour since you started, and there's no sign of you stopping anytime soon. You're caught somewhere between sleep and wakefulness, your body restless and your mind exhausted. The images in front of you keep switching between dream and reality.

Natasha shifts again, pressing her palms against her eyes. You have training in the early morning, and if she isn't well-rested, it could lead to mistakes. She really doesn't want to get punished.

Why won't you sleep?

A soft whimper makes her glance down at you. Your body jerks, your face buried in the pillow. Natasha pauses and watches your expressions. Is it a nightmare? It wouldn't be your first. God knows she's suffered from those before as well.

Another toss. Another turn.

She can't stand it any longer. It's the middle of the night and she needs to sleep.

The bed creaks underneath her when she sits up. She stays still for a moment to make sure she didn't wake anyone, then she slides off the top bunk and silently lands on her feet. Crouching down next to you, she places her hand on your shoulder.

"Hey...", she whispers, quietly but sharply, and then struggles. Your name. What was your name? "Wake up", she continues, not bothering with the formalities. "Wake up."

Her voice cuts through the mess in your mind, but you don't wake up. Your face scrunches up and you shake your head, hand fisting the sheets underneath you.

It's frustrating, how nothing seems to work. Whatever you're dreaming about seems to have a tight grip on you. Maybe she should leave you alone — but you're being loud, and she doesn't want anyone else to wake up. Not like this. Not over something so...human.

"Wake up", she repeats, shaking you. You suddenly jerk away, and for a moment, her breath catches. Eyes wide with alarm, the fear on your face raw and instinctual. Your body has tensed up, muscles coiled tight like a snake's. You want to recoil, but you manage to make out the features of the person in front of you.

Blue hair, green eyes.

First, confusion. Then, realization. You slump into the bedsheets again, exhaling shakily. Natasha watches. At this point, she's barely breathing. The look in your eyes reminded her of something — of her, of Yelena, of every girl who's woken up in this place.

"Goodness", you finally mumble, and her stoic facade cracks for the first time in days.

"You were loud", she states.

You blink at her, then close your eyes in exhaustion. "I woke you up?"

"No. Couldn't fall asleep to begin with."

"Because of me?"

Natasha shrugs, the loose fabric of the tank top hanging off her slender frame. "You kept tossing."

You shake your head and cover your face with your hands. This should be embarrassing, at least for most people, but you feel like you have bigger problems than accidentally keeping your bunk mate awake at night. Like the fact you have combat training early in the morning.

"Did any of the Madames notice?", you ask, voice muffled and tired.

Natasha hesitates and looks at the door. Locked, of course. A faint strip of light is visible through the narrow window at the top.

"No", she says. "Not that I saw."

You nod, body relaxing slightly with relief. If any of them had noticed, you'd be paying for it by now. Nightmares are seen as a weakness — which you, 12 years old and more reasonable than the adults in this place, realize doesn't make any sense. Not many people can control their dreams.

Natasha doesn't move right away. She stays crouched next to your bed, studying you. You peek at her through your fingers and her expression doesn't waver. After a moment, she exhales sharply through her nose and shakes her head.

"Go back to sleep", she whispers and gets up. She grabs the metal frame of the top bunk and steps on the ladder.

"Natasha?", you say.

Her shoulders stiffen. It's the first time you've said her name.

She doesn't respond or look at you, but she hesitates. For you, that's enough.

"...Thanks."

Again, no response. She swings herself up onto the top bunk and curls back into the sheets.

Your breaths slow down gradually. You fall asleep at the same time.

. . .

'Don't form bonds.' 'Don't get attached.' 'Don't let someone else make you soft.'

Those are rules you aren't sure you'll be able to follow.

Music pulses through the air, but your heartbeat is louder. It echoes in your ears like a drum as you struggle to keep your movements precise.

Ballet lessons in the Red Room aren't any less harsh than the other types of training you go through. It's intense, physically demanding, just as draining as everything else. There's no space for missteps — only perfection is tolerated.

Natasha is more tired than usual. She's skilled, more so than most of the girls who've ever stepped into this place, but above all, she's human.

Sweat over her eyebrows, movements stiff but practiced. Pirouettes that get shakier with each repetition. When she stumbles, it doesn't take much thinking for you to reach out and steady her. She freezes under your touch. Her eyes flicker to yours, in them a mixture of confusion and something else. It's only there for a split second, but you notice anyway.

You quickly pull your hand away from her back. The warmth of her lingers on your fingertips.

"Sorry", you mumble. "I just- I didn't mean to-"

You don't get much further, as one of the instructors grabs you and yanks you away from her. She barks something in Russian — no touching, no helping, do you want to get punished? This will have consequences.

You don't resist as she drags you away from the others.

Natasha doesn't move, doesn't react. She just stands there as you're pulled away, her expression carefully blank.

You know better than to look back at her, but you feel her eyes on you. Watching, calculating, trying to figure out something she isn't sure exists.

The punishments of the Red Room never happen immediately. They stretch across the next hours (and sometimes days), they linger, they let this feeling of imminent doom hover in the air like a silent threat.

Again, a dark room. Something spiky they make you kneel on. Later, a corner in the cafeteria. Your back faces the other girls, who are eating silently. Nobody dares to look at you. Nobody but Natasha.

When you return to the dormitory that night, exhaustion has settled in your bones like a weight. You don't expect anything from anyone. Certainly not from her, who still looked at you with that cold detachment in her eyes.

But when you lift your blanket, you find something wrapped into a napkin. Half an apple, turning brown around the edges already. Still, it's something.

Your fingers brush over the fruit, then you slip it under your pillow. You look up and see Natasha's back. She doesn't turn, doesn't speak, and you don't, either.

Eventually, you lie down and eat the apple in silence.

Nothing seems to change, but somehow, everything does.

. . .

A room that smells like sweat and metal. Your feet hit the ground, the sharp sound echoing through the room. The Madames and the other girls stand in a circle around you, watching you like hawks. If you falter, you get punished.

You've sparred against Natasha before, but it was never like this. There's a tension between you now, a silent understanding that's lead to a delicate truce.

You don't want to hurt anyone in this room, but you especially don't want to hurt the blue-haired girl in front of you. The bunk bed would feel utterly lonely without her, even if your interactions have been limited.

However, this is the Red Room. Any fight here is brutal.

Fists, kicks, blocks, dodges. She delivers a strike to your face, and you retaliate quickly. Movements become quicker and blur together. You block a punch, and the impact sends a jolt up your arm.

Another kick, which you dodge. But your feet slide across the floor and you lose a fraction of balance. Natasha's eyes flash — she's fast. The fight turns into blocking and countering, both of you trying to get the upper hand.

She steps forward again and you push back harder. Your movements are almost mindless at this point — that is, until a soft gasp makes you pause.

Natasha touches her bottom lip, which is now split in half. Blood drips down her chin.

You freeze for a moment. There it is. The line you crossed.

"Sorry", you immediately say, lifting your shaky hand. Panic starts to pulse through your veins. "Natasha, I didn't-"

But Natasha doesn't say anything. She doesn't look angry, either. She looks...resigned. She wipes her swollen lip with the back of her hand and glances at the smudge of blood.

She looks back up at you, eyes narrowed slightly as if she's expecting something else. You want to take a step closer, comfort her, apologize until your mouth goes numb, but one of the Madames' voices cuts through the air.

"Enough!"

Startled, you take a step back. It's just in time for the woman to grab both your arms and start dragging you out of the room. You stumble after her, not entirely sure where you'll end up.

"You will both learn", she hisses, pushing open a door, "that hesitation is a weakness."

Snow, freezing cold. The air immediately seeps through your clothes and into your skin. The woman pushes you both onto your knees and ties your hands together behind your back, then she leaves again.

After what feels like an eternity of silence, you dare glancing at Natasha.

Nothing. She stares at the brick wall in front of her, jaw set stubbornly, nose red from the icy air. Her lip keeps bleeding, the blood drying on her chin.

You turn away again and close your eyes. Your fingers turn numb within minutes. Your shins, buried in the snow, first burn before losing sensation as well. Your body goes stiff.

The Red Room teaches endurance, but that doesn't change the fact that your body — young, small — is not built to withstand this kind of extreme weather. The Russian winter has a way of humbling you.

You try to shift, but the rope cutting into your wrists makes it difficult. What's almost worse than all of this is the silence between you and Natasha.

You look at her again. She's always been a hardheaded thing. Tough shell, hard to break. You've seen cracks in it, but barely.

"You're bleeding", you murmur, eyes fixed on the clump of blood on her chin.

"Stop talking", she replies. She says it like it doesn't matter, like it isn't worth the effort. But you notice the way her fingers curl. She's cold, too. It's gnawing at her just like the pain and the never ending hunger.

You shift again and almost lose your balance. Natasha quickly moves her upper body to try and steady you with her shoulder.

"Careful. You don't want to lie in the snow, I can tell you that much."

You nod and exhale, the air making your lungs freeze. She's right. If you topple over, there will be no way for you to get back up. It'd be the quickest way to a lung infection or hypothermia, if that isn't happening already.

"About earlier", you say, struggling. Your breath comes out in puffs. "I'm sorry."

Natasha shakes her head. She knows the rules. She knows you need to follow them.

"Stop apologizing.”

"I didn't mean to-"

"I told you to stop", she says flatly. Her green eyes meet yours. The wind tousles her blue hair, the individual strands fluttering. "It's not like you have a choice, do you?"

No. You certainly don't.

By the time you make it back into the dormitory, you feel like a human snowman. Your skin is raw from the cold and your entire body is sore from the punishment.

No dinner for you tonight, which would usually mean an aching stomach. Tonight, however, you have different issues.

The room is dark and silent, save for the almost inaudible breaths of the other girls. They're curled up beneath the blankets already, getting what little rest this place provides.

You fumble with the ties around your wrists, your fingers stiff and useless. Your grasp keeps slipping, your mind is spinning. You're still freezing.

Next to you, Natasha pulls hers loose first. You glance at her and frown, determined to get the knots free. It's a difficult task, considering your hands are behind your back, but she managed to do it — why shouldn't you be able to, as well?

Another beat passes. You're still struggling when you feel her move closer. Then, a sharp tug and your wrists are free.

You turn around, but Natasha is climbing the ladder to the top bunk already. You don't thank her this time. You just lay down and close your eyes to try and fall asleep.

The blanket on your bed offers little comfort. The cold has settled in your bones, deep and unyielding, and you keep shivering. You shift, shiver, shift again. Your bedsheets rustle. Toss and turn. Shift again.

A long exhale from the bunk above yours. A pause.

"Stop moving."

You huff quietly and glare at the mattress above you, even if Natasha can't see it. You lift your foot and lightly kick the spot where you assume her back should be.

"Quit that!"

"I'm cold", you whisper.

"News flash: so am I."

You hesitate, then slide off the bed. Your joints protest as you make your way up the ladder. You reach the top and see Natasha, turned away from you so she's facing the wall. You hesitate again. Then, you move under the blanket with her.

Bodies curled inwards to preserve warmth, neither of you speak. You're still cold, but it's not as harsh and lonely now. What you're feeling is a sort of comfort you've been missing for years.

You bury your face against her bony shoulder. She sighs, barely audible, but shifts to be closer to you.

"Don't make this a habit."

You'll make it a habit.

. . .

Natasha glances at you during lunch. She listens to you breathe at night. She keeps an eye on you during training.

You go on missions together. You exchange looks and faint smiles. You let each other believe you aren't alone.

Maybe you actually aren't alone anymore, either. For the first time in years, it feels like you aren't.

Something like affection builds between the two of you, as childlike and innocent as the Red Room allows it to be. It's fragile, as everything that grows in this environment is, but it's there.

You don't talk much, but words aren't necessary. A glance across the table of the cafeteria. A nod before training. Watching each other's backs. She covers for your mistakes, and you cover for hers. If one of you gets punished, usually so does the other.

You learn the rhythm of each other's footsteps and the way you move when you fight. You learn how to make it look like you're not holding back, while simultaneously making sure never to hurt the other. You'd only end up splitting her lip one more time.

At night, she doesn't ask questions when you wake up from a nightmare. Instead she just scoots and makes space, anticipating your arrival. You climb the ladder without fail each time.

It's the same blanket as yours, the same pillow. Somehow, it feels warmer. You curl into her like a cat and tuck your face against her shoulder. It's beyond you how you never get caught, but you don't dare question this wonderful, reoccurring fluke.

Again, the Red Room is still a harsh environment. Beautiful things don't thrive here. Innocence doesn't thrive here. There's no room for softness, either — but somehow, you carve out a space for it anyway.

. . .

You're 15 when you realize that she means more to you than any person in this place should.

Two years have passed. Maybe three.

You're not really sure. The Red Room makes time seem like something fluid, something inconsistent.

When you look in the mirror in the shared bathroom, you can't pinpoint the exact differences. But something is different — you're taller, your hair longer (that is, before they cut it off again), your face still young but sharper.

What really shows you that time has passed is Natasha.

Before her, you never bothered to pay enough attention to someone to notice the changes that occur over the months and years. But with her? You can basically see her grow. It's a slow process, obviously, but it's there. It's graspable, real, how her hair is growing out and how she's suddenly grown — she's still smaller than you, but at least she's almost on eye level with you now.

Despite all that, time doesn't feel real in the Red Room. It slips through your fingers like sand, but it also stretches out endlessly. Days blur together, hours feel like they last an eternity. In the middle of it all, something shifts between you and Natasha.

The distance between you shrinks. It's barely perceptible at this point. There's no specific label for it, not yet at least. You're too young, too busy with other things to really think about it, but what you once had has turned into something sweeter.

At night, you climb into her bunk. It's routine by now, not something dictated by whether you have a nightmare or not. She scoots to make space, and when you're under the covers with her, she presses into you to seek out warmth just like you do.

And then, there are moments that catch you off-guard.

A glance that lingers. A knee that rests against yours, neither of you moving away. A hand brushing against your back during ballet.

The way her voice suddenly sounds softer when murmuring "goodnight". The way the detached look on her face disappears when looking at you. The way your heart rabbits in your chest.

Maybe you should've expected it.

You don't.

It happens at night, when everyone is asleep. You're wrapped into her blanket, the one that barely shields you from the cold. You both shift, though it's not clear why — maybe to adjust the blanket, or to get into a more comfortable position. Either way, it doesn't matter.

Natasha's head turns up the same moment you look at her. Her lips brush against yours.

It's everything and nothing at the same time.

A brief, clumsy contact, but an undeniable one. It awakens a swarm of butterflies in her stomach and makes your fingers tremble. You're both frozen for a moment. Face warm and red with something like shame and realization, you glance up at her.

"Shit", she mumbles.

"Yeah." You swallow, trying to catch her gaze. She keeps staring at whatever's right next to your shoulder. "I think that was my first kiss", you add dumbly.

"You're counting this as a kiss?"

You shrug, slightly confused. "What else could it be?"

No answer. Natasha chews on her bottom lip, trying to make the fluttery feeling in her stomach go away. It's annoying, how intense it is. She's never felt it before, and now that it's here, she can't get rid of it.

Her eyes meet yours again. Neither of you know what you're doing, but that's fine.

Her breath fans against your cheek when she exhales. It's almost a sigh. Then, she leans in again.

This time, it definitely is a kiss.

. . .

Cocooned in the warmth of her bed, the world around you suddenly doesn't seem to exist anymore.

You forget about the scars and bruises that litter both of your bodies (though that doesn't stop you from tracing each new bandage with your fingers, your eyebrows furrowed and your bottom lip between your teeth, even if Natasha keeps insisting she's fine). You forget about what waits for you in the mornings and what upset you in the evenings. You forget about the dried blood on your pillow, about the upcoming missions, about everything but her.

In the middle of pain and torture, you've found purpose.

At night, you climb into Natasha's bed. Sometimes, she climbs into yours.

You start to talk more. You find out things you can tell she kept secret until now.

Losing your family is something every girl in the Red Room has gone through. Natasha, however, lost two families.

She doesn't remember the first time, but the second time is burned into her mind. It haunts her when she's alone, when it's silent. When the lights turn off and she suddenly remembers being in that container again, when a girl crying sounds a little too much like her sister.

Yelena. She mumbles the name against your shoulder, her eyes closed. Unsure what to say, you lift your hand and brush her hair away from her face. Once blue, now red with blue ends.

"Younger than you?", you ask, your voice a whisper. You heard someone stir earlier, and you don't want to risk anyone waking up to you cuddled up like this. They probably wouldn't tell on you, but you're still cautious. You're young, but you know to protect what's close to your heart.

"She was six", she says, struggling. "I couldn't help her."

You close your eyes. You smell her scent, all soap and cotton, and nudge her forehead with your nose.

"Not your fault."

"She was a kid. A baby, basically."

"We're not much older."

Natasha stays quiet for a moment. She sounds helpless when she speaks again.

"I lost her."

There's not much you can say in that moment. Maybe you don't need to say anything, either. Maybe Natasha just needs you to be there — which you are.

You let your lips brush against her forehead. Your fingers ghost over her wrist, feeling the pulse beneath. Fast, steady. Most importantly: alive.

Her fingers curl around your hand, then squeeze gently. Barely there, but it means more than she could ever know.

"You didn't lose everything", you mumble, intertwining your fingers with hers. You're each other's anchor, even in a place like this. Especially in a place like this, maybe. "We'll find her."

We.

Natasha looks at you. Her chin tilts upward and she kisses you, lips warm and minty like toothpaste.

. . .

You feel the illness long before it really hits you.

It's nothing dramatic. A simple flu, complete with a fever, a cough, a runny nose. But your skull is pounding and your muscles aching, and when you open your eyes in the morning, you feel like you were hit by a truck.

It's still dark in the dormitory. Outside, the sun is barely peeking over the horizon, but you can't see it thanks to the lack of windows. You groan when a shiver racks through you, your throat sore and burning.

Natasha leans over the edge of her bunk bed. She left the feverish warmth of your bed as soon as she noticed your discomfort. It's the first time in two years that she didn't sleep by your side.

"Y/N?"

You look at her, then close your eyes again. This can't be happening. Being sick in the Red Room is one of the worst possible misfortunes that can happen. Rest is not an option here — not really, anyway. They grant you two days to get better, and if you still feel ill afterwards?

Tough luck. You have to push through.

Natasha doesn't say anything at first, but she watches. Her eyebrows furrow with worry when you sit up, clearly dizzy. With one, swift movement, she's jumped off the bed and landed on her feet silently.

Her hands grab your shoulders and steer you back to bed.

"Nat", you mumble dismissively, voice muffled.

"Sit down", she says, pushing you onto your butt. You sit and sneeze. "Bless you. Now stay in bed."

"We have training-"

"You get two days off", she reminds you. "You need to rest."

You scoff and cross your arms. Natasha leans in and presses the back of her hand against your forehead. You don't need her to tell you to know you're burning up, but the way her expression shifts tells you anyway.

"Lay down", she murmurs.

You look at her, sighing. "Come on."

Her face, for the first time ever, turns pleading. "Lay down. Rest. You can't push yourself too hard."

After another moment of hesitation, you lay down. Natasha tucks you in, her hands lingering.

At night, you drift in and out of sleep. Natasha is sitting next to you, legs crossed. You're too dazed to pay attention to your surroundings, but you hear the faint clicking of metal and her soft, muttered curses when her hand slips.

The hex nut is slippery and small between her sweaty fingers. She slides off the mattress and sits on the cold floor, where she uses the concrete floor to smooth the edges. She's completely focused, shutting everything else out. Tongue poking out between her teeth, eyes slightly narrowed to be able to see in the darkness. Behind her, you roll over and sniffle.

Natasha turns. You barely manage to make out her features in the pitch black of the room.

You want to say something, but sleep catches up again. Cheeks rosy and slick with sweat, baby hairs sticking to your forehead, you close your eyes. Almost lost in the haze of fever and half-sleep, you can feel her fingertips brush over your temple. When she pulls away, the absence of her touch nearly manages to wake you.

You let out a sleepy huff and relax into the sheets again. Natasha picks up the hex nut and keeps filing the sharp edges.

Every night, she sits with you like this. Working quietly, diligently, until you're feeling better again.

. . .

You're 17 when you realize you're in love.

Black Widows don't have a future.

At least not the kind of future other people expect for themselves. Normal people. The ones with nine to five jobs and two kids, dogs and cats, cars in suburbs and nights out in the city. The ones who have a choice. The ones who aren't completely, utterly messed up.

It's nice to fantasize, anyway. Whether it's empty beaches or bustling cities, small cottages or mansions so big they make the Red Room seem tiny — you like escaping from reality now and then. You like allowing yourself to be delusional, to pretend you actually have an influence on how your life will go.

How will it end? You can't know that yet. But you hope it'll be at least a little more like the outcomes your mind produces late at night, when you have Natasha tucked against your chest.

She fantasizes with you. You like her fantasies, her dreams and desires, more than your own.

Though, there isn't a particular thing she wishes for. She only wants to get out of this hellhole with you.

"We will", you assure her. You're on your back, eyes glued to the ceiling you can barely see. Natasha is a warm, grounding weight on your chest you don't ever want to miss. "Even if the outside world scares me."

"More than this place?"

An unnecessary question, and you both know it.

"No." You feel her lips brush against your collarbone. "I suppose it scares me in a good way."

"Idiot", she mumbles. The affection in her voice is louder than what she said. "I suppose. Who talks like that?"

"You're mean, you know", you mutter and pinch her side. She bites your collarbone to stop herself from letting out a noise. "Ow!"

"You pinched me!", she says, her words a whisper. You scoff and lean in to kiss the grin off her face. "That doesn't work on me."

"It works on me."

"You're just looking for an excuse to kiss me."

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't."

Natasha's lips quirk into a smile. You know that because you feel it against your mouth — the subtle curve of her lips, the way her breath puffs out in amusement, her nose brushing against yours. You taste her happiness and crave more.

"I'm glad you're you", she whispers, "but I don't need your crab claws all over my skin."

You don't say anything. You huff softly, your hand reaching up to brush some hair out of her face. Natasha stills, her eyes studying you in the dead of night. You can feel the thoughts form in her brain and radiate from her, and you swallow. Her full lips part. Her voice is the only sound in the room, the only sound that ever mattered.

"I love you, you know."

Simple, quiet, to the point. For a moment, you don't respond. Not because you don't feel anything, but because you feel too much.

"I love you too", you then whisper back. Words you haven't said that many times, but the second you utter them, you know you mean it. You've meant it for a while.

She smiles and leans in, forehead pressed against yours cheek. Her breath is hot on your skin. Then she shifts to adjust herself, and you feel her face buried against your neck. You wrap your arms around her and roll over so she's tucked between you and the wall.

"Now go to sleep before you start crying or something", she mumbles. You scoff and kiss her temple. "I mean it."

"I'm not going to cry." You run your hand under her top and feel her warm skin. You feel the scars, the little bumps and ridges, the imperfections marring her skin, and quietly decide that with Natasha, imperfections don't exist. "You know, we'll get there one day."

"Where?"

"There. We'll get out, and- and we'll do everything we're told we can't."

Her eyelashes brush against your skin. Her hand fists the back of your tank top. "You're talking nonsense."

"I mean it."

A pause. The room is silent and dark, save for the quiet breathing of the other girls. When she speaks again, her voice is soft and hesitant.

"What would we do?”

You're not really sure. All you know is that, somewhere in this picture of possibilities and risks and fears, Natasha is there as well.

"Anything. Everything."

. . .

You're 18 when Natasha starts to slip away.

There is a day that all girls in the Red Room fear. Nobody really knows what happens. There is no announcement, no explanation.

The girls who leave seldomly return. If they do, they're different — sharper, but also sadder. Like even that little bit of light they had got drained out of them.

It's lunchtime. You're all gathered at the long tables, with trays in front of you.

You've had a bad feeling all morning long. From the moment you untangled yourself from Natasha, to the second you stepped into the cafeteria. It's heavy, nauseating, resting in your stomach like a weight you can't get rid of.

She seems different, too. Withdrawn, defeated. You watch her fingers trace the edge of her tray, her mind elsewhere.

You aren't sure what's going on until her name is suddenly called.

"Romanoff."

The entire room goes silent. She hesitates for what can only be a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity. Her chair screeches as she pushes it back. Your hand reaches out automatically, then you retract it as if you got burned. Part of you wants to jump in and stop her, tell her to stay, but you can't. No one can.

She doesn't look at you as she turns around and leaves.

You don't see her for days.

It's late in the evening when she returns. Nothing is the same anymore.

She doesn't speak, doesn't look at you. She curls into your side and puts her head on your chest. Her eyes stay open.

Concern washes over you. You dare looking down at her, at her top that has ridden up, and you feel something sour rise in your throat.

There's a bandage around her lower stomach, stained with dried blood.

You've seen many injuries in your life before — cuts, bruises, gunshot wounds — but this is different. This is deliberate, meant to keep her under control. You don't have to ask what it is.

The Red Room doesn't take kindness into account. It doesn't care about pain, grief, trauma. It doesn't care about futures stolen before they could even begin. Futures that may have never happened in the first place.

You wrap your arms around her and carefully pull her closer. You feel something warm and wet against your neck, slowly soaking into the fabric of your tank top. You don't say anything, because what are you supposed to say, anyway? That you're sorry? That you wish you could take her pain away? That this doesn't change who she is?

It doesn't change who she is. She's Natasha. But it still changes so much.

The damp area of your shirt grows warmer and larger. Her nose presses against your collarbone. You want to reassure her, comfort her, but you're not sure how. Nothing is going to give her back what was taken.

You bury your face in her hair and breathe in her scent. Soap, metal, something unmistakably her.

Her breath hitches. You can feel her suppress her sobs, making herself smaller. Her fingers twitch against your ribs, restless, not sure what to do. You're not sure, either.

Then, a sound. Small, pained, somewhere between a sob and a sigh.

"I don't feel real."

Some experiences haunt you for a lifetime.

. . .

You aren't aware of your lasts when they happen — your last kiss, your last 'I love you'. It isn't something you get to cherish, because you foolishly assume it'd happen again.

It won't. You just don't know yet.

The night before, she's in your bed. The scar on her lower stomach has healed by now. The next morning, she'll leave for a mission. Budapest, Hungary.

She doesn't want to go. It's always the same — violent, bloody, scary. At least she'll get out of the Red Room's confinements for a few days, which is the only upside she can think of.

You don't sleep much that night. Neither does she.

Her hands slide under your shirt, up to your ribcage. Fingertips trace your skin repeatedly, mapping out scars and ribs and birthmarks. She memorized the feel of you years ago. At this point, doing this is mere comfort. It's a quiet assurance that, no matter what, some things don't change.

Oh, how wrong she is.

"It's just a few days", you murmur. You can sense the anxiety radiating from her. It's not funny — obviously not —, but there's something ironic about someone as strong and resilient as Natasha being nervous about a mission. You both know that being in the Red Room is worse in many ways.

Maybe it's returning to the Red Room that worries her. Or not returning. Or always having to return. A never-ending cycle, perhaps.

"It's not about how long I'll be gone."

"I know."

Natasha looks up. Her eyes are exhausted, full of that same resignation you've been carrying for years.

"Then why'd you say it?", she asks.

You don't have an answer to that. Instead, you cup her face and kiss her. Not urgently, not desperately. Soft, slow, familiar like the feeling of your heartbeat under her fingertips.

By the time you wake up, she's gone. You won't see her again for years.

. . .

You're 31 when you get out.

Morocco's air is hot and full of dust. Yelena and you jump out of the window and land next to a woman. She turns and spots you, immediately going for an attack. You dodge her and wrap your arm around her neck. As she starts gasping, you see the vial, filled with red gas, in her hand.

"No!", she wheezes as you tighten your grip. Somehow, she manages to break the glass open right when Yelena stabs her. The powder spreads in the air and enters your airways and eyes, so you start coughing and let go of her — and the control that Dreykov had over you starts to fade.

For the first time in an eternity, you're yourself again. Or a version of yourself. You're not too sure. All you know is that the grip on your mind, your body, has disappeared. The thick haze through which you've been seeing life gets thinner and weaker.

Next to you, Yelena sneezes. You're too overwhelmed to react to that.

"What- what happened?", you stammer, letting go of the woman. Her limp body drops to the floor. "Fuck, did we kill her?"

"That...was that an antidote?" Yelena scrubs her hand down her dust-caked face. "Shit."

Confused, you start turning around to look at your surroundings. Right, Morocco. The mission. You remember getting here, but you also don't remember anything. Your memories don't seem to be your own. But they have to be, right?

Probably. You're not sure, though. Being freed from the Red Room's mind control is an odd sensation, and there are way too many things you're supposed to focus on.

You feel freedom. But it doesn't feel like you thought it would. You're...you. Just you. Suddenly, other parts of you have disappeared — parts that weren't yours in the first place, parts that they implemented in you.

Implement. They also implemented a gps-tracker. You grab a small blade and slice open your thighs to remove the small chips. You wipe your hands on your suit and get up, eyes scanning the area. For now, you're alone.

"We need to leave", Yelena says, throwing the trackers on the ground and crushing them with the sole of her boot.

"But Oksana..." You swallow as you glance at the woman lying on the dirty ground. "She helped us."

"She won't make it, Y/N", she says. "Seriously. If we don't leave now, they'll find us."

You give her a hesitant look, but Yelena looks resolute. She's about as stubborn as her older sister.

"Come on", she urges you, grabbing your arm. Her touch burns — you don't know how long it's been since you consciously felt another person's touch. You want to protest, to stay and see if Oksana's case really is as hopeless as Yelena is saying, but she keeps tugging you through the streets and into a dark alley.

A motorbike, flying down Morocco's roads. No idea where Yelena got that thing from — she suddenly made you sit on it without offering much of an explanation —, but you assume she stole it.

Wind that stings your face, whipping against your skin like punishment. You take a breath and taste dust. You cough and tighten your arms around her waist, quietly praying you won't fall and break your neck. Dying right after escaping from the Red Room would have to be the most embarrassing thing to happen in your life so far.

About an hour passes. The city flies past you, blurring like the thoughts in your head.

Yelena grips the handlebars harder and takes a sharp turn. You let out an undignified noise and bury your face against her shoulder.

"сука!", she curses when a guy, also on a motorbike, almost crashes into you. "Ah, fuck. They drive like lunatics around here."

"Are you kidding?!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She cackles and stops in front of a gas station. You both hop off the motorbike, your legs shaking like jelly. You lean against the gas pump and groan. "Come on, that was nothing!"

"Screw you." You wipe your forehead with the back of your hand and sigh, glancing at your surroundings.

A gas station, tucked between two buildings with flickering neon signs. You smell gasoline, sweat (probably stemming from you and Yelena — you really need a shower), grilled meat coming from the stall across the street. A stray cat slinks past you, briefly looking up before losing interest. The only noise comes from a few cars passing by and a group of men loitering by their cars, laughing and talking rapidly.

Beyond the station, the road stretches into darkness. No Red Room agents, no looming threats—just empty space. It's peaceful out here, at least judging by what you can see and hear. But the paranoia lingers. You glance over your shoulder, waiting for something — someone — to come after you.

Yelena nudges your side. "Zoning out?"

"What?...no, I'm fine."

"Well, good. We still need to get some supplies." She jerks her chin toward the station and starts walking. "Chop chop!"

You sigh again, but ultimately follow her inside. Your days in the Red Room seem to be over, but peace isn't something you'll get acquainted with soon.

. . .

You awaken with a pained groan. Sunlight blinds you, so you turn your head only to be met with the sight of Yelena. She's not the most graceful sleeper — mouth agape, one leg hanging off the bed, her hand twitching in her sleep. But you're happy she's here, that you're not alone in this unfamiliar place.

You get up and stretch. The wound on your thigh stings as you step toward the window and look outside.

Early morning in Budapest is quiet but not silent. It's calm in a way you aren't used to. You still haven't gotten used to the fact you can sleep in (other than the woman snoring like a freight train), or that you can just go outside and buy bread. Or walk around the block. Maybe step into the park.

Because you're not used to it, you also don't do it. You're inside most of the time, only leaving the safe house when it's necessary. And even then you carry a gun with you, loaded and hidden under your jacket. It's a steady weight, providing you with a sense of safety. You're telling yourself it's a precaution, but deep down, you know better. The Red Room still has a grip on you.

Behind you, Yelena shifts and mumbles something in her sleep. Then, a sigh. A grunt.

You turn around and look at her. She peeks at you and rolls over so the sun isn't shining on her face anymore.

"Blinds", she mutters.

"Sorry", you say, closing the blinds. "Not going to get up?"

"I'm not crazy like you. But if you're up, you might as well make coffee."

You roll your eyes, but nod and put on your sweatshirt before padding into the kitchen. Right as you're grabbing a bottle of milk from the fridge, you hear someone fiddle with the lock of the apartment's front door.

You freeze.

Yelena may be lazy in the mornings, but she's not careless. Only you and her have access to this apartment.

The lock clicks. The door creaks open. Your hand instinctively touches your side, but you left your gun in the bedroom.

Steps, almost silent. Whoever it is, they're moving with the stealth of a cat. Only one person springs to mind, but your brain quickly pushes the thought away. Instead, you press yourself against the fridge.

You didn't expect them to find you yet. You found a spot that's well hidden, secure, thinking it'd grant you at least a few weeks to figure out what comes next. In the end, it's someone you never expected to see again.

A shadow appears in the doorway. When you look up, your eyes meet the ones you used to know like your own reflection.

They're the same. Time has had an impact on both of you, but her eyes? They never changed.

The bottle drops from your hand. Glass shatters, milk spills everywhere. But Natasha doesn't flinch. In fact, neither of you move.

You stare at her, trying to convince yourself this isn't real. That this is a dream, or she's a ghost, or maybe both. When you realize that's not the case, you silently start begging for her to leave again. Leave like she did last time, and never return.

She abandoned you in the Red Room. There's no room for sympathy here — but she stays anyway. It feels like no time has passed, even if that's definitely not the case. Time has passed. Years, decades.

Finally, her eyes flick down to the milk seeping across the floor, curling around the shards of glass.

"What a waste", she says, almost quietly. Her voice is soft enough to infuriate you.

"What the fuck are you doing here?", you snap, stepping away from the fridge. She doesn't react, doesn't budge. Truthfully, you didn't expect anything else from a woman that's able to stay calm even while defusing bombs and hunting literal aliens.

"I could ask you the same thing", she says, reaching into the pocket of her jeans. You back away and bump against the fridge again, but it's just a few pictures. On them? Two little girls, one blonde and the other blue-haired. "You sent me this."

You let out a humorless laugh, but it's tinged with pain. Your eyes stay glued to the simple images that managed to revive decades old feelings. Feelings that should be long buried.

"I didn't send you shit. You thought I'd contact you?"

"Someone", she says sharply, "sent me this. It led me here. So it was either you, or-"

"Morning", Yelena says, yawning and stretching as she enters the kitchen. She steps over the puddle. "Who the fuck is yelling this early in the morning? Also, someone dropped milk." She looks at Natasha and raises her eyebrows. "Oh, finally. Took you long enough. You're slacking."

"You sent those?", she asks, crossing her arms.

"Huh?" Yelena leans over to peek at the pictures. "Oh, yes. Right."

"Why?", you snap. Yelena gives you a surprised look.

"What, 'why'?"

"Why'd you send those", Natasha says, sliding the pictures toward her. Then, she grabs a bundle of vials and puts them on the table. "This, too."

"Oh, right", she says, sitting on the counter. She stirs the cup of coffee in her hand and takes a careful sip. "Because of the Red Room, you know. So we'll go take it down."

"You...what?"

"What are you talking about?", Natasha says, frowning. "The Red Room is gone."

Two heads whip around at the same time to stare at her. Her words, simple as they may be, make your heart pound. But she truly seems to believe what she just said.

"Are you kidding?", you say, your voice rising. "Gone? Don't tell me you really believe that."

"Dreykov's dead", she says, frowning. "I killed him years ago."

"Ha! She really believes that." Yelena jumps up and avoids the shards to reach for the vials. "This is an antidote, you know. For mind control."

Natasha shakes her head. She didn't expect to find you here; she thought it'd be just Yelena. It'd be easier if it was just her sister. She knows how to deal with her. But you? God, it's hard when it comes to you.

When she ran from her past, she ran from you. Now she has to confront the one person who, at some point in time, wasn't only her past — but her entire future.

"Dreykov is alive", you say quietly, looking away from her. You saw the expression on her face, and it's too much to handle in that moment. "You really think he'd let anyone kill him?"

"Killing him was part of my defection to SHIELD", Natasha says stubbornly. She still sounds convinced. "It took destroying almost the entire city to get to him."

Yelena pours some vodka into her coffee. When you glance at her, she shrugs. "We don't have any milk left." She turns to Natasha. "Did you confirm the kill? Check the body?"

Natasha takes a shot of vodka, her eyes tearing up slightly. You see the faint redness in them, the moisture that matches the one in your own eyes. You're both tearing up, but for different reasons. She bites the insides of her cheeks and lifts her chin in a defensive manner. "There was no body left to check.”

"He's not dead", she repeats. "Ask me, ask Y/N. We'd know."

They look at you. You shake your head, the heels of your hands pressed against your eyes, and blindly take a step forward. Glass cuts into your sole, but you ignore the sudden pain, the blood mixing with the spilled milk.

You need to get out of this room. You need to get away from Natasha, just like she got away from you.

. . .

In the morning, you leave. All three of you.

You're in the back of the car, refusing to do anything other than sit there and stare out the window. The tension in the small space is thick enough to be cut with a knife, but Yelena doesn't seem to notice that. She's never been particularly good at reading social cues, which is something she has in common with her sister.

"You two are so dramatic", she says after an eternity of silence. "I should've brought popcorn, you know."

At her words, Natasha makes a sharp turn. You brace yourself against the door and bite back a retort. Instead, neither of you reply.

Yelena yawns and stretches. She rolls her shoulders until her joints pop, then reaches over to turn on the radio. Natasha bats her hand away.

"Don't."

"It's boring."

"Yelena."

"I'll start singing." She clears her throat and then begins belting out an off-key rendition of some song. Natasha white-knuckles the steering wheel when Yelena's voice fills the car. She's doing this on purpose.

"Get her to shut up", you mutter, kicking the back of Natasha's seat.

She grits her teeth, not replying to you. Then, suddenly, she presses the small button on the radio. Static fills the car before settling on some station playing a song from the 90's you vaguely remember.

A mission in rural Russia. You and Natasha, 16 years old and curled together behind the dumpster of a bar. Soaking up the minutes left before returning to the place you're now about to go take down.

Natasha's gaze meets yours in the rear view mirror. It's just for a split second, but you both seem to soften.

. . .

You leave the city behind. Winding roads and open stretches of land replace it, the world eerily quiet in the dead of night. The car is silent, but only because Yelena has fallen asleep — head resting against the glass and mouth open, you're surprised she hasn't started drooling yet.

"How much longer?"

"A few more hours", Natasha mumbles, glancing at the fuel gauge. "We need gas."

She pulls up in front of a gas station and gets out. You stay in the back for a moment, watching her refuel the car, then unbuckle. It's cold outside, so much so that goosebumps form on your arms. You lean against the car and wait.

Natasha keeps a close eye on the fuel display, watching the numbers climb. She lets go of the handle as soon as it hits the right amount, shaking the nozzle to remove any excess fuel. She steps around the car and looks at you.

You hesitate before following her inside.

It's a typical gas station, with a bored looking clerk leaning against the counter and shelves half-stocked with dusty snack bags. Refrigerators full of soda and water bottles, some porn magazines, newspapers, souvenirs. You glance at a stuffed teddy bear that's wearing a shirt with the word 'Hungary' printed on the front.

Natasha grabs a bottle of water. When she notices you eyeing the shelves, she pauses before grabbing a second bottle and a protein bar. She holds them out to you and you hesitate once more, but then you take them.

Yelena is still asleep in the car. You sit on the curb and unscrew the bottle to take a few sips. You feel her presence as she sits next to you, see how she plucks a cigarette from her pocket, how she lights it but doesn't take a drag.

Silence used to be comfortable between the two of you. Now, it feels like an eternity of discomfort.

Plumes of smoke curl into the air as she finally takes a hit. You glance at her, briefly, but manage to catch her gaze. Wordlessly, she holds out the cigarette.

You inhale a lungful and stifle a choked cough. Natasha's lips twitch.

"Careful", she says.

"I'm not used to it."

"Might be for the better."

Natasha flicks ash off the tip before taking another puff. You glance at her and see everything that wasn't there the last time you saw her.

"You're an Avenger now", you state. She looks at you, but doesn't say anything. "Was it worth it? Leaving, I mean?"

She averts her eyes again. The cigarette falls to the ground and she presses it out with her boot.

"We're adults now", she says carefully. "There's no point in pretending. Y/N, I didn't have a choice. It was either leaving or dying in there."

You nod, fingers fiddling with the loose cap in your hands. "You left us to die instead."

No reply, no arguing back. Just silence and the hum of the cars as they pass by.

Finally, she turns around. Her fingers brush against yours, cold yet familiar, as she takes the cap from you. You look up only for the ache in your chest to increase.

"I would've come back", she says. "I didn't think you'd made it."

"Only 19 in 20."

"Yeah."

You study her in the dim light that's cast by the neon signs above you. Green, lighter than her eyes but not nearly as mesmerizing.

"I wanted to come back", she starts, glancing at the cap between her fingers. "I couldn't. Clint, he- he told me it'd be too risky. I couldn't afford going back there. Not after making it out."

"Clint?" It sounds like a question, but really, you know that name. Another Avenger.

She shakes her head in dismissal. "You'll meet him."

You tilt your head. I will?

"Point is", she says, glancing away again, "I didn't have a choice. Not really. By the time I did, it seemed like it was too late. I tried to find you, but I couldn't. It seemed impossible without directly confronting Dreykov, or someone close to him."

You nod, exhaling slowly. Trusting her still seems impossible, no matter how plausible her story may be. Being left behind like that leaves scars. Most of them haven't healed.

"The others were impressed", you mumble, tugging at your loose shoelaces until they come undone. "Jealous, but also impressed."

Natasha manages a bitter smile. "And you?"

You hesitate and let go of the shoelaces.

"I hated you for it", you admit. "At first. Now I get it, I guess. Which doesn't make it right. But you were trying to survive. We all were."

"It never stopped being about survival", she mumbles. "Not without you."

You swallow, eyes squeezing shut. You try to find an answer beneath all the layers of pain and anger, but you find nothing. Her words cut deeper than anything else she's said tonight.

You're pulled back to reality by Yelena stirring in the car. You turn around right as she lowers the window. Her tired voice cuts through the silent night, through the tension.

"You two better not be making out back there."

"We're not", Natasha calls. Despite the irritation in her voice, her lips curl into a tentative half-smile as she looks at you.

"Good. Let me know if you need a room or something."

"I'll kick you out of the car", Natasha says, unimpressed, and gets up. She holds out her hand and you take it, letting her pull you to your feet. The simple contact of skin on skin sends a familiar flurry of electricity through you. You ignore it as best as you can.

. . .

You're 32 when you take down the Red Room.

Somewhere between those moments in Hungary and the day you finally watch the place that stole your life go up in flames, you celebrate your birthday.

Truthfully, you have no idea what your actual birthday is — which is the case for most girls in the Red Room. It's a piece of information that's deliberately withheld from you, for whatever reason that may be. It's not that it'd be of importance, either. They don't celebrate your birthday. All you know is that you were born somewhere in the late days of summer.

Natasha used to celebrate with you. Handing you a piece of fruit or bread wrapped in a tissue, kissing your cheek, scooting closer. It only happened a handful of times, but every second of those nights is ingrained in your brain.

The motel you're at is rundown and small. It's unlike the ones you've seen so far, but it's not the worst, either. Considering your circumstances, you're happy with mold-free bathrooms and a somewhat clean bed.

You plop down on the edge of the bed, the mattress sagging, and untie your boots. Yelena is in the shower, leaving you alone with Natasha. She hasn't said a word since you got here.

When you're about to toe off your second boot, a rounded something wrapped in a paper napkin lands in your lap. You look up and are met with the sight of Natasha watching you.

"You know what day it is?", she asks.

You stare at her, caught off guard. "No?"

"Your birthday."

You hesitate and unwrap whatever she handed you. It's a small cupcake, crushed from being carried around. Vanilla, judging by the color of the frosting. "I don't have a birthday."

"Not true", she says, sitting on the bed next to you. The mattress dips, reminding you of nights in the Red Room. How the thin mattress would sink under her weight, announcing her arrival. How the first thing she'd do is press closer and seek the warmth you both craved. "Everyone has a birthday."

Touché. You brush your finger against the bottom of the cupcake, unsure what to say.

Natasha shifts, arms crossed and expression guarded.

"I didn't bake it", she states the obvious. "I found it at a gas station."

You let out a sound that's dangerously close to a laugh, inspecting the cupcake. "How did I not notice?"

"I made Yelena distract you."

This time, you let out an actual laugh. You peel back the wrapper and take a small bite. Dry, but yummy. A bit too sweet. Nice vanilla flavor, though. "Thank you."

You look at each other. Natasha hums, tentatively reaching out to brush a crumb from the corner of your mouth. It's a brief, light touch, but it makes you freeze. Silence suddenly fills the room.

"Happy birthday", she mumbles. She pulls back, arms crossed over her middle. You swallow and look at the cupcake again.

"Doesn't feel like much of a celebration."

"They didn't have balloons."

"Candles?"

"No."

You crack a smile and poke at the cupcake. "A song, maybe?"

She laughs and shakes her head. "Not even for you. Sorry."

Something flickers in her expression, mirroring your own. Before you can address it, the bathroom door swings open. Yelena walks into the room, towel-drying her hair and humming to herself. When she sees you sitting so close on the bed, she stops and squints.

"What's going on?" Her gaze falls to the cupcake in your hand. "Hey, nobody told me we had cake!"

"It's not cake", you say. "It's-"

"A birthday cake?", she cuts in. "Oh my god. Whose birthday is it?"

"Cupcake", Natasha says, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"My birthday", you add, glancing at the woman next to you. "According to her."

"Oh. Well then..." Yelena saunters over and inspects the sweet treat. "That's pathetic. I could've stolen something way better for your birthday."

"You did steal something", Natasha reminds her. "Lollipops. A handful of them."

"Yes, but those were for me." Yelena lets out a long-suffering sigh and plops onto the second bed. She stretches her arms and legs and yawns. "Worst birthday ever."

You smile to yourself and lick some frosting off your finger. Everything else seems to fade, at least for a moment — your past, your history with Natasha, the Red Room. It's just you, a small motel room and people that maybe do care.

You take another bite.

"It's not so bad."

. . .

With the Red Room gone, you're free.

Yelena leaves with Melina and Alexei (who she, embarrassingly, introduced you as Natasha's Любовница to — it took you ten minutes to assure them you definitely aren't lovers); they're about to be useful and help the girls you freed from the Red Room.

Natasha lingers by your side as the three drive away. You glance at her, allowing yourself to study the facial features that have changed so much yet are still the same.

"So", she finally says, suddenly twirling a set of keys around her finger, "Любовница?"

You roll your eyes. "God, I hate you."

"Come on." She nudges you with her shoulder, then starts to walk without waiting to see if you'll follow.

You do. Maybe you always will.

You have no clue what to expect, following Natasha blindly like this.

It's been 14 years. A lot can change in over a decade of time.

Examples?

The cost of homes has doubled.

Gas prices have gone from $1.36 per gallon to $2.10 per gallon.

Instagram has replaced MySpace.

Somehow, Natasha stayed the same. Even the way she walks — long strides that you can barely keep up with — is familiar. Her little smile as she glances at you, the glint in her eyes that remained from her so-called childhood.

"You're always the same", you say as she sits in the driver's seat. "Everything's different, except you."

The engine roars to life, and the black SUV pulls out of the parking lot. Natasha focuses on the road, so much so that you start to believe she didn't hear you.

"Yeah?", she finally says, absently, and glances at you. "Is that a good thing?"

"I haven't decided yet", you mumble, tilting your head. She smiles faintly.

"I think it's good", she says. "If you're as perfect as me, why bother changing?"

You know she isn't being serious, but a part of you knows very well that, once upon a time, you'd have agreed with the sentiment. Natasha was the closest thing to perfection you knew. She exceeded whatever it is you two had back then. A foolish, naive thought only a teenager in love can have.

She didn't change. She's still brash, self-assured, always pretending she's got everything under control. But there's a weight to her now, something that's been there ever since her graduation ceremony in the Red Room.

"You're not invincible", you say quietly. "Even you've got your cracks."

Natasha hums, her gaze briefly flitting over to meet yours. "Cracks aren't always bad", she says. "Sometimes, they let light in."

"Sometimes, they make glass shatter."

For a long few seconds, she goes quiet. Then she sighs, and you hear the exasperation in her voice.

"Alright, Shakespeare", she mumbles.

You laugh, but it's an unconvincing sound. You're tired, exhausted actually. You want to sleep. You want to rest. You want answers, but you also want to drown the whole world out. You want to cling to the one familiar feeling you know, but you're also scared that the same feeling — the same person — will suddenly leave again.

You don't voice your thoughts, your fears. You stay quiet and let the darkness of the night swallow you.

. . .

It takes an actual jet for you to get wherever the hell Natasha is bringing you.

In the end, it's all the way in New York City. Here, everything is alive — the bustling crowds, the neon signs, the cars. Music and chaos and hopes and dreams, all crushed into one place.

You can tell Natasha likes it here. You can tell it's become a home to her. It's so different from the Red Room, which is probably why she likes it so much.

This place is huge. From the city to the building, everything is ten times bigger. Nothing encloses you, nothing keeps you back. Freedom seems like an achievable goal out here.

She parks in front of the building. It's late at night, so there are barely any lights greeting you from the windows of the compound. Just silence and the lighting coming from the logo beaming above you — a big A, as in Avengers.

"Not too shabby", you mumble, closing the car door behind you. Natasha follows, her eyes holding something you can't quite place. "Must've costed a fortune."

"Probably", she says. She keeps pace with you, hands tucked into the pockets of her jeans. "I'm not the one who paid for it, though."

"Tony Stark", you say. She opens the front door using a keycard, her fingerprint, and a password. Something beeps and the door opens automatically. Inside, it smells like citrus.

"Yes, exactly."

You can barely hear her footsteps as she walks upstairs. You follow behind her, briefly studying her back. Her legs, the braided red hair, the leather jacket. You smell her perfume and avert your eyes.

Natasha walks you all the way to the end of a hallway and unlocks a door there, then she pushes it open. The room you enter is spartan, minimally furnished — a bed, a closet, a desk. Clean towels, folded and stacked, lay on a chair.

"I assume you don't have any clothes in your nonexistent suitcase", she mutters, disappearing into the hallway again. She returns moments later. "Here."

Pajamas, underwear, a bottle of water. Her fingers brush against yours. You curse your heart for doing that fluttery thing again.

You swallow, cradling the clothes to your chest. Natasha, leaning against the doorframe, watches you.

"You okay?", she eventually asks.

"Are you?"

Her lips twitch into a ghost of a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. She nods at the bed.

"Get some sleep", is all she says. You listen to her leave down the hall, retreating to her own room. The door closes with the gentlest of clicks.

Being alone again, you allow yourself to relax. Or, in your case, try to relax. You sit down on the bed and take a whiff of the clothes in your arms. Laundry detergent and something distinctly not Natasha. Probably for the better.

The bedsheets are softer than anything you've ever felt before. You curl into them, letting them warm you up, but sleep doesn't come. Everything else seems to be more interesting in that moment — the moon outside, the crystal clear windows, the fact that, somewhere in this big building, Natasha is going to bed as well.

You find yourself wishing for the bunk beds again. She was much closer then. Now, she seems so far away.

You roll onto your side, fingers curling into the sheets. You miss the sound of her breathing. You miss how her cold feet would press against your legs, how she'd tuck her hand under your back.

Maybe she misses it too. She probably does.

You use that as an excuse to pad down the hallway and look for her room.

She didn't tell you which one it is. She didn't have to — the pair of black boots in front of the door tell you where to go. Your hand lingers on the doorknob before you turn it.

You don't need to look at her to know she isn't asleep. Her breathing is a telltale sign that she's wide awake.

You walk on cold floor until your feet step on a rug made of wool. Your breathing hitches ever so slightly when your eyes meet in the near darkness of her room.

She stares at you for a moment. Then, without a word, she moves the comforter aside so you can lay down. You make sure to leave some space between you when you do.

You both roll onto your sides. You put your head on her pillow and smell the faint, lingering scent of her perfume. The fabric feels soft against your skin when you turn your head to bury your face in it.

"Reminds me of something", she murmurs. You can't stop the corners of your mouth from twitching into a faint smile.

"Bad habit."

Natasha's eyes trace your features. Beneath the sheets, her fingers brush against yours. Barely, just enough for your heart to start hammering. A test, maybe. Or a reminder.

Your first instinct is to scoot closer, so you do.

Your second instinct is to stay away, but this one, you ignore.

"I missed you", she says. "I really did."

"You had a funny way of showing it."

"I was selfish", she says. You scoot closer again. "I didn't want to be reminded of that place. Not even by the person who was there with me."

You give a small, bitter smile. Your fingers touch hers, and after a split second, you take her hand.

"Sometimes, I thought you were dead", you say. "Sometimes, I preferred that idea."

"Can't blame you for that, can I?"

Not letting go of her hand, you shake your head. You can hear the rain outside, but it's a sound you barely focus on. Her breathing is much more interesting than the pitter patter of the water droplets against the window.

Her thumb brushes over your knuckles. You look up and feel the impending kiss like a bad omen.

Before anything can happen, you turn your head. Ever so slightly, just enough for the tension to turn into confusion and hurt.

"Get some sleep", she says, after a long moment of silence. "I'll be here in the morning."

Natasha is a woman of her word.

. . .

You wake up at the same time. Her eyes linger on your face, then you catch them flit down.

You realize two things:

1) Your shirt has ridden up while you were asleep.

2) The faint scar, stretching along your lower belly, is on full display.

You pull down your shirt and sit up abruptly. Natasha frowns and follows in suit, scrambling out of bed.

"Hey, wait-"

"Coffee", you say, hurrying down the stairs. You hear her footsteps right behind you. "I just- I need coffee."

"Y/N, wait-"

You shake your head, round the corner — and suddenly see a group of people sitting around a table. The strong coffee smell tells you you're right here, but the amount of eyes that are watching you unsettle you.

Natasha comes to a halt next to you. She gently grabs your wrist and leads you away before anyone can say anything. As soon as you've left their field of view, their conversation continues. You don't hear it, though. You're shaking too hard to notice.

"It's okay", she starts, furrowing her eyebrows. She doesn't know what to say, either. "They're friends."

"It's not about them", you say, running your hands through your hair frantically.

"What's it about, then?"

You try taking a deep breath, but it fails. Shaking your head, you start pacing. Natasha stays still.

"Y/N", she says slowly. "Tell me."

Tell me. The way she said it makes it sound so easy — like you wouldn't be ripping open old wounds, wounds that haven't even properly healed yet. You almost laugh at the absurdity, but you're too focused on not losing that last bit of sanity you have left to do so.

"No", you snap, whirling around. Her eyes widen, but your brain doesn't register it. You're too focused on trying to breathe, which seems impossible in that moment. "No, I- fuck."

"Y/N..."

"No!" You step backwards, eyes darting across the room. Paintings, plants, polished marble floors.

A door.

Without reconsidering what you're even doing, you turn and bolt. Natasha freezes before following, but you're outside before she does.

The rain is louder than your thoughts, louder than her voice. It soaks into your clothes and hair, biting and unrelenting, weighing down your clothes and chilling you to the bone. Not nearly as bad as the Russian winter, but cold enough to make your teeth clatter.

You almost slip on the wet grass while trying to get away from Natasha. She runs after you, breathing heavily despite the fact her stamina is as good as ever.

"Y/N!", she yells. "You'll get hypothermia, you idiot!"

You don't hear her. All you hear is the pounding of your heart, the sobs ripping through your chest, the ringing in your ears. Your hand grazes against your shirt, right where the scar is.

Then, someone grabs your wrist. Pulls you closer. Another sob, your hands pressing against her chest to keep her away. But, as unrelenting and stubborn as you may be — this is a fight you can't win.

Natasha shushes you, her arms wrapping around your body. She's as drenched as you are. Your head drops against her shoulder, body still shaking and shivering.

She doesn't tell you that it's okay, because she knows it isn't. So she leads you inside, up the stairs, into the bathroom. You lean against the wall as she starts the shower, eyes slipping closed. Steam fills the room and warms it up.

You feel her fingers brush against your wrist. When you open your eyes again, she's rolled up her soaked shirt to reveal the scar that matches yours.

You've seen it before, of course. Back in the Red Room, after she disappeared for days. When she slipped into your bed and cried. The bloodied bandage, her sobs, the way something between you shifted.

You blink, looking at her for a moment, then you reach out and trace the line with your fingers. Natasha tenses, then relaxes. You slowly pull your hand away again.

"You should shower", she says, adjusting her shirt. "You need to warm up."

"You're wet, too."

"I'm fine."

"Join me."

She looks at the shower, hesitating. Then, her eyes meet yours again. She pulls her shirt over her head, the sound of wet clothes against skin louder than ever. Your hands tug your clothes off blindly.

It's warm in the shower. Not nearly as warm as her body, though. You feel it against yours.

“I’m sorry”, she says.

Your hands touch her face.

“I know.”

She kisses the side of your thumb. You push her against the tiled wall.

“You don’t have to forgive me.”

You press your lips to hers. Water fills the space around you, between you, replacing the emptiness that’s been growing for more than a decade now.

“This isn’t me forgiving you”, you say, then kiss her again. Her hands run down your back, her head tilts so she can deepen the kiss.

In the Red Room, you were never granted the freedom to go this far. Displays of affection were kept to a minimum — kisses, cuddles, fingers trailing underneath clothes but never quite reaching their destination.

Somehow, you know your way around each other's bodies anyway. It's a language in itself, one you didn't have to learn to be able to speak it fluently.

. . .

There is a reason why you always stayed in Natasha's bed. Even in a place like the Red Room, where doing so was risky, dangerous — a death sentence if anyone found out, basically —, you did it anyway.

Back then, you were both kids. You were nameless soldiers, no future or family in sight, but you were kids. Teenagers at most. Raised in a world of lies and betrayal, finding something real seemed impossible. Then, you found Natasha. Natasha, who was so human despite claiming not to be, who was more real than the hunger you felt or the prickling pain of snow on bare skin. Natasha, who was a constant, a fragile thread that connected you to life itself.

You were in a place that saw emotions as a weakness, a place in which connection was reason enough to get killed. In each other, you found something that wasn't just a weapon, or a tool, or something to be broken.

Things have changed since then, but the feelings remain. The safety, the comfort, the simplicity of it are still very real.

You used to slip into her bed every night. Suddenly, you find yourself doing the same thing all over again — but this time, there's no fear of being caught looming over you. No one's going to kill you for sharing a bed.

The other Avengers don't notice, or don't care. Either way — they don't bring it up, for whatever reason that may be. They're polite enough, possibly because Natasha threatened them to be. You find yourself getting along with them quite well. Despite that, you spend most of your time latching onto the one person whose every breath seems familiar.

You don't talk when you get under the covers at night. You feel her roll over, her cold feet against your legs and her hand under your back. You see glimpses of what could've been if you had met in a place other than the Red Room.

Sometimes, you wonder what would be different. Whether you'd be married, maybe with kids. Or maybe you would've broken up after a few years. Maybe you never would've fallen in love in the first place.

So many possibilities, and you can't decide which is the least painful.

You feel that she's still awake without her having to say anything. You aren't able to fall asleep, either. Something in your body is protesting the idea of sleep.

Instead, you roll over. You curl into her and feel the kisses she places on your face.

"Sleepy girl", she mumbles.

"Can't fall asleep, so not really."

"You can be sleepy without being asleep." Natasha wraps her arms around you and pulls you into her bare chest. You nuzzle her warm skin with your nose, her scent surrounding you. "Something on your mind?"

"Please", you mutter. Ever since you were a little kid, there's always been something on your mind. Not a day goes by where your brain isn't flooded with (sometimes irrational) fears and worries. She should know that because she can relate. She does know that.

Natasha realizes her mistake and runs her hand down your back. Her fingernails gently scrape along your spine. "Fair enough."

You hum and close your eyes, lips brushing against the side of her breast. Your lips part slightly, tongue flicking against her skin. She exhales, a nearly silent sound you should've missed.

"I just..." You sigh, turning your head again. Your voice is muffled. "None of this is easy."

"Y/N, it was never easy in the first place."

That's true. It's only gotten easier over the years, but somehow, it feels like the opposite occurred.

"It's not fair."

"It was never fair, either."

You look up, eyes squinting and lips forming a thin line. "You really do have an answer for everything."

"Years of dealing with the bullshit of five different men help", she replies. Her fingertips brush against your ribs, tickling you, coaxing a small laugh from your mouth. The sound makes her feel a fluttery something in the pit of her stomach. "It's not about fairness. If it was, you'd leave."

You go silent for a moment. Slowly, you lay down on her chest again. Her heart thumps against your ear.

Natasha knows she should shut up. Not enough time has passed for her to say things like this. Wounds haven't healed, scars haven't faded. But the words lie on the tip of her tongue like you do on her chest, so she lets them tumble out.

"I love you."

You close your eyes. Her fingertips draw shapes on your back.

"I think we missed our shot there."

. . .

You're 33 when you do something you'd regret for the rest of your life.

Your relationship is a push and pull. You find that, even in the Red Room, knowing what you want was easier. Now, the decision seems unnecessarily difficult.

You may stay in her bed, but you don't join her before the hallways are dark. You kiss her, but not where anyone can see. You feel that you love her, but a part of you protests the mere idea.

Natasha notices the pattern, but she chooses not to comment on it. At least not at first — too big is the relief of having you back, of feeling something that comes close to what she last felt more than a decade ago. Things are hard, but they’re harder for you.

Still, there is a breaking point for everything.

You know she's back home without having to see her. You hear the Quinjet landing, the footsteps, the muffled voices. The Avengers are returning from a mission you didn't go on.

You glance at the live feed display of the security cameras and see a bunch of now-familiar people — among them, Natasha. Her suit is a bit torn, there's dirt on her cheeks, her hair is a mess, but she looks like she's fine. You get up anyway and open the door for them. They spot you from about 40 feet away, but your eyes are on her. When you realize they're all looking at you, you turn your head and step aside to let them in.

Natasha lingers by the door. Tentatively, she puts her hand on your side. You don't pull away from the contact, but don't lean in, either.

"Hurt?", you ask, searching her face.

"I'm good", she says, squeezing your waist. "Nothing a few painkillers can't fix."

You hum, still staring at her. She smiles faintly and kisses your cheek, but you unconsciously slip out of her embrace. You realize what you've done as soon her smile, small to begin with, fades.

"Am I doing something wrong?", she mumbles.

"No, I just..." You hesitate, unsure how honest you're allowed to be. "No. You're not doing anything wrong. This is about me, not you."

"No", she says. "It's about both of us."

You frown at her. Steve, who has been crouching in the hallway and cleaning his shoes, glances up before slowly leaving the room.

"What are you talking about?"

"In case you haven't noticed", she says, starting to unzip her suit and walk up the stairs, "there's two of us here."

You follow her, hand sliding along the railing and eyebrows furrowed. "Wow, newsflash."

She doesn't say anything. She walks into the bathroom, door almost closed, and doesn't react when you enter after her. She peels her suit off and reveals skin covered in scars, most of them healed, and dirt mixed with blood. You lean against the wall, trying not to stare.

"I want to shower", she suddenly says.

"I've seen you naked."

"Y/N."

You ignore her, and she ignores you. Her back is turned to you as she begins doing mundane things — test the water temperature, prepare a rug to put in front of the shower, pick which body lotion to use. The muscles on her back flex, on full display thanks to the sports bra she's wearing, but even that doesn't snap you out of your thoughts.

You don't know what to tell her because you don't know what you're feeling, either.

It's not that you don't feel anything — it's the opposite. After so many years, you still feel too much.

Her bra comes off, then her underwear. She takes her hair out of the braid. Stepping forward, you run your fingers through the tangled strands. She freezes before her shoulders slump.

"Are you going to keep punishing me for the rest of- of whatever this is?"

You stop, fingers still buried in the red locks. Is it a punishment?

Maybe. Not a conscious one, though.

Water flows, steam rises, hearts pound. Neither of you dare to move for a moment that lasts way too long.

"I'm not punishing you", you say, slowly moving your hand away. She exhales.

"Then what the hell are you doing?", she asks, stepping into the shower. You almost follow before realizing you're still fully clothed. Letting out a noise of frustration, you take off your shirt. "No, don't."

"No, we're talking." You let your sweatpants pool around your ankles and step out of them. Natasha swallows when she sees you half naked. "This is bullshit."

"What?"

"It's bullshit that we were better at figuring stuff out at 17 than we are now."

You join her under the water. She bites back a quiet whine.

"It's bullshit that we can't just pick up where we left off", you add. "It's bullshit that everything feels the same when it clearly isn't."

"It feels the same to me", she says defensively.

"It's not. It hasn't been since you left."

"Y/N", she says, voice low. "I know it isn't. I know what I did. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

(She would.)

"You can't make up for some things", you reply. Her sides, her breasts, her arms are warm and slick to the touch from the water. You feel the slight roughness of her scars, the contrast of smooth and scarred. You feel the muscles beneath, the gentle thump of her heartbeat. You wish you could take it all in and not have the weight of your past press down on you.

Natasha leans in, forehead resting against yours. The water falls in a steady cascade, enveloping your entwined bodies, blurring the space between you. Scents of sea salt and orange, the tiles slippery beneath your feet. You've never been closer, but you've never felt further away. Her lips brush against yours, promise and plea at once.

"Let me try", she mumbles before kissing you again. You feel the tears form in your eyes. Her lips travel to the corner of your mouth, along your jaw, down your neck. "We got out of the Red Room. We can do everything else, too."

You want nothing more than to believe her. But her words can’t undo the years of separation and silence.

"Natasha." A soft sob rips from your throat.

She kisses your collarbone, your chest. You run your fingers into her red strands of hair and grab them for purchase. Her head tilts up so she can look at you. "Please, Y/N."

Breathing ragged, you can do nothing but stare at her. Natasha gets on her knees, her lips finding the scar stretching along your lower stomach. The faded line feels hot when she litters it with slow kisses.

"No", you whisper, voice thick and shaky. "No, Nat. It doesn't work like that."

Her kisses stop. She buries her face against yours stomach. You feel her unsteady breaths against your skin, her fingers curling into the soft skin on the back of your thighs. Your thumbs brush against her temples.

"Get up", you plead. Natasha hesitates. For a second, you think she might fight for this moment with you.

But then gets to her feet. Once she's on eye level with you, you cup her face and kiss her. Firmly, deeply, apologetically. You step away, out of the shower, wrapping yourself into a towel and leaving without looking back.

There is both a first and a last time for everything.

. . .

It's been months since everything was somewhat normal.

Conversations are short, clipped, impersonal. Eyes don't linger. Her bed is a place you don't visit anymore, not even at night, when the silence is suffocating.

She doesn't initiate anything. She doesn't try to change your mind, doesn't try to fix things. She thinks it's better this way, that maybe the space will allow you to heal.

She's still making up for what happened years ago, but it's small, quiet, and you find it hard to notice it when the walls between you are this thick.

One morning, as you pad into the shared space downstairs, you see Natasha in the living room. She's wearing her suit, her hair pulled back into a braid again, and there's a backpack on the coffee table. Next to it lie guns and her Widow's Bite.

You frown. Nobody said anything about a mission.

"What?", she asks, not having to look up to know you're watching her.

"Nothing." You glance at the weapons that are neatly arranged in front of her. "You didn't...“

"No."

"Right.“

Natasha looks at you. She puts the taser aside. "Won't take long. A few days."

"Okay." You hum, briefly sinking your teeth into your bottom lip. "Not that it concerns me."

"It doesn't", she just says. Her eyes don't look away from yours. You shift under her gaze, the history between you like a weight in the air you can't escape.

"Be careful", you say.

"I always am."

"Liar."

There it is — the subtlest twitching of her lips, the almost-smile you've been dying to see. Amusement glints in her eyes, and she blinks it away.

"Go eat something", she says, focusing on her weapons again. "I made waffles. ...They're a bit burnt, though."

You want to tell her it's fine, that you'll eat them anyway. But nothing is fine. It hasn't been for a while.

"I'll pass", you say, briefly shaking your head. Natasha hums and glances at you, then she puts the weapons aside before walking into the kitchen. You follow her without needing to be told to.

A plate of — indeed burnt — waffles is handed to you. You inspect them, smelling the slight char, and look up at Natasha. The helplessness in her eyes is unfamiliar, and your chest tightens.

She's trying. She's always trying, even when you make it hard for her.

"Thank you", you manage to say, looking at the plate of food again. "I'm sure some syrup will help."

"It won't", she says, leaning against the counter. "I tried it, too."

"Sugar?"

"Nope."

"I could scrape off what's burnt."

She laughs, but the sound isn't as genuine as you hoped it'd be.

"Don't bother", she says, walking to the freezer. She pulls out a box of Eggo waffles. "Just heat these up. They'll taste better."

You glance at the yellow box. Not a bad brand — you've eaten them for breakfast a few times since getting here.

"No", you say, sitting at the kitchen table and ripping one of Natasha's waffles into two pieces. "I prefer these."

She watches you for a moment, a bunch of unsaid words lying on the tip of her tongue. Then she turns around and puts the Eggo waffles into the freezer again.

You watch her grab her stuff. She returns to the kitchen, her backpack slung over her shoulder, and studies you.

"I'll be back."

"I know."

"You can call me. If you need anything."

You smile faintly and reach for her hand. You squeeze, feeling the fabric of her fingerless gloves. "I'll be fine."

"Good." Her lips brush against your hair. "I love you. Be back soon."

One truth, one lie.

. . .

Hours after Natasha's death, Clint knocks on the door to your room. You wipe your eyes and look up, glancing at the little velvet sachet he's carrying. You two look at each other for a long moment. You see the redness in his eyes, how swollen they are. You know his pain because you feel it too.

He walks up to your bed and puts the sachet in your open palm. It's light, which doesn't make it any less confusing. Your fingers wrap around it.

"For you", he eventually says. "From her."

You frown and look at the sachet again, brushing your finger over the soft fabric. "I'm supposed to open it?"

"It'd defeat its whole purpose if you didn't."

You nod, opening the sachet and taking a look inside. What you see doesn't give you the explanation you desperately crave. What could be important enough for Natasha to give it to you from the afterlife? Not a hex nut, certainly.

"Try it on", he says. "If you want."

You put the hex nut into your palm and inspect it, then glance at Clint. "What are you talking about?"

"Y/N, just...give me your hand. Left one."

He grabs the hex nut and slides it onto your ring finger. When you realize what it is, you nearly break down. The edges, almost smooth. The shape. His explanation almost falls on deaf ears, that's how distraught you are, but you manage to catch the most important details.

How she made it in the Red Room, the nights you were sick. How she polished it using the floor. How a screwdriver she stole allowed her to hollow out the center. How she kept it in her nightstand, for years, and how a tiny part of her believed she might be able to put it to use someday.

It's not perfect. Even after all her hard work, it still resembles a hex nut more than it does an engagement ring. Natasha didn't care — it was the result that mattered, the future it may have lead to. The day you maybe do say yes, despite everything that happened.

That day wouldn't come. Nobody would ever say it out loud, but you know it's because of you.

She was your first kiss, and you're her last.

You're 34 when you lose her entirely.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel mcu #x reader #marvel #fanfic #lesbian #wlw #angst #fluff #oneshot #fanfiction #moon’s fics

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hazydoe · 2 days ago

Text

Buffalo 66

Warning +18 only kidnapping, non-consensual situations,sexual content,emotional manipulation,sex lol,extortion, jail,daddy kink , age-gap.

Note:I was inspired by Buffalo 66, it's one of my favorite movies, and one of the ones I talk about the most in my classes as a film student n Happy Valentine's Day ❤️

English is not my first language so I apologize in advance if I make a mistake

Joel wasn’t good with words. He never had been. But now, more than ever, he needed someone—and above all, he needed money to start over. And there you were, at the wrong time, or perhaps the right one. He saw you leaving the store, wearing that light blue dress and carrying a brown paper bag in your hand, a faint smile on your lips. He didn’t know why he chose you. Maybe it was because you seemed kind, or maybe because you were the first person he saw. It didn’t matter. Joel needed something, someone, and you were there.

He approached you with quick steps, his breathing uneven from the anxiety consuming him. He didn’t have a weapon, not even a convincing threat. All he had were his clumsy, desperate words.

“I need you to come with me,” he said, his voice rough, as if he hadn’t spoken in days.

You stopped, looking at him with a mix of surprise and fear. Your eyes widened slightly, and you took a step back, clutching the bag to your chest like a shield.

“What? No, I’m not going with you,” you said, your voice trembling but firm.

Joel felt a knot in his stomach. He hadn’t expected you to resist. He hadn’t thought about that. But he couldn’t give up. Not now. He had just gotten out of prison, and he needed money.

“Please,” he murmured, his voice breaking. “I just need… I need you to come with me. I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

Your eyes scrutinized him, searching for any sign of a lie, of danger. Joel didn’t know what you were seeing, but he hoped it was something that would make you change your mind. For a moment, he thought you’d leave, that you’d scream for help or just run away. But you didn’t. Instead, you stayed there, looking at him, as if you were trying to understand him.

“Why?” you finally asked, your voice soft but cautious. “Why me?”

Joel didn’t have a good answer. He didn’t have any answer, really. He just knew he couldn’t be alone. Not again.

“Because… because I don’t have anyone else, and I need something,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.

There was an uncomfortable silence as you studied him. Joel didn’t know what you were thinking, but he was sure you’d leave, that you’d decide it wasn’t worth risking yourself for a stranger. But you didn’t. Instead, you nodded slowly, as if you’d decided to give him a chance.

“I don’t have money,” you said. “I work as a waitress and barely make ends meet.” Joel’s anxiety spiked—it was worse than kidnapping a defenseless girl, kidnapping her and getting nothing in return.

Joel nodded, thinking of the quickest solution: getting rid of you or finding some way to profit from you. He didn’t know if you were incredibly brave or just naive, but it didn’t matter. He led you to his car, an old sedan that smelled like cigarettes and desperation. He didn’t say a word as he drove, his hands gripping the wheel as if it were the only thing keeping him sane. You didn’t speak either, but you didn’t seem comfortable. You sat there, staring out the window, your hands clenched in your lap, as if you were ready to bolt at any moment.

“Where are we going?” you finally asked, breaking the silence.

“To a motel,” Joel replied evasively. “I just… need a place to think.”

It wasn’t an answer, but you didn’t press further. Instead, you leaned back in the seat, as if trying to calm yourself. Joel couldn’t understand you. Why weren’t you screaming? Why weren’t you trying to escape? It was as if you’d decided to trust him, even if just a little.

They arrived at the motel, a cheap, rundown place on the outskirts of the city. Joel parked the car and looked at you, as if expecting you to resist again. But you simply got out of the car and followed him to the room, a mix of fear and determination in your eyes.

The room was as depressing as he was: an unmade bed, a flickering lamp, and a musty smell that clung to the air. Joel sat on the edge of the bed, running his hands over his face. He didn’t know what to do now. He hadn’t planned this. He hadn’t planned anything.

“Why did you bring me here?” you asked, standing near the door, as if ready to run at any moment.

Joel didn’t answer right away. He didn’t know how to explain what he was feeling, the desperation consuming him, the need to have someone, anyone, by his side.

“I needed someone,” he finally murmured, his voice barely audible. “And you were there.”

There was another silence, but this time it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was as if both of you understood that this didn’t make sense, but it didn’t matter. Joel looked at you, and for the first time in a long time, he felt something other than emptiness.

“What now?” you asked, a mix of fear and curiosity in your voice.

Joel thought for a moment before speaking. “Do you have family?” he asked.

“They live outside the city and don’t have much money. They live off government checks,” you replied.

Joel stood up in frustration. It had all been for nothing. He could go back to prison for kidnapping a girl, even if only for a short time.

You approached him slowly, as if trying not to scare him. Joel looked at you, confused but grateful. He didn’t know what you were doing, but he didn’t want you to stop. You sat on the bed, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. You were just there, in silence, sharing the weight of the world.

“I don’t know why you’re doing this,” Joel murmured, his voice breaking. “Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked, his patience wearing thin.

“Yes, but I don’t think he’d pay much for me,” you replied, placing a hand on his.

Joel looked at your hand as if he didn’t know what to do with it. But then, slowly, his fingers intertwined with yours. His hand was cold, but there was a spark of warmth in his touch, as if something in him was still alive.

“Call him,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

You didn’t say anything. Instead, you leaned closer to him, until your lips met his in a soft but meaningful kiss. Joel didn’t know if this was real, if you were real, but in that moment, he didn’t care. Because, for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel alone. And that was enough.

Joel couldn’t believe what he was about to do. The line between desperation and madness had blurred completely, and now, there you were, sitting on the motel bed, phone in hand, with your boyfriend on the other end of the line. He watched you, his dark eyes filled with a mix of guilt and desire, as he approached slowly, like a predator who knew he had his prey exactly where he wanted it.

“Tell him I have you,” Joel whispered, his voice rough but laced with an intensity that made you shiver. “Tell him if he wants to see you again, he’ll have to pay.”

Your eyes met his, and for a moment, Joel thought you might refuse. But then, you nodded slowly, bringing the phone to your ear. Your hands trembled slightly as you dialed the number, and Joel couldn’t help but notice how you bit your lower lip, a gesture that betrayed your nervousness.

“Hi,” you said into the phone, your voice soft but clear. “It’s me. I’m… I’m okay, but I need you to do something for me.”

Joel moved closer, his hands finding your waist as you spoke to your boyfriend. You felt your body tense under his touch, but you didn’t pull away. Instead, you kept talking, your voice trembling but firm.

“Yes, he wants money,” you continued, your eyes fixed on Joel. “I don’t know how much, but… please, do it. I don’t want him to hurt me.”

Joel felt a knot in his stomach as he heard your words, but he didn’t stop. His hands slid over your body, exploring every curve with a mix of desire and possessiveness. He looked at you, searching for some sign of rejection, but he didn’t find it. Instead, he saw something in your eyes that made him keep going: a surrender, an acceptance of what was about to happen.

“Tell him how much,” Joel murmured, his lips brushing your ear as you spoke. “Tell him he has an hour.”

Your words faltered slightly as Joel began to slide his hands under your dress, his fingers finding the soft skin of your thighs. You felt your breathing quicken, your body responding to his touch despite the situation. Joel wasn’t giving you a choice, but you didn’t seem to want to stop him either.

“Yes, one hour,” you repeated into the phone, your voice now more shaky. “Please, hurry.”

When you hung up the phone, Joel didn’t give you time to think. His lips found yours in a slow but passionate kiss, his hands exploring every inch of your body as if they were territories to conquer. You let yourself go, your own hands finding his chest, unbuttoning his shirt as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Don’t resist,” Joel murmured, his voice heavy with desire. “You know you don’t want to.”

You didn’t respond. Instead, you gave in to the sensation, to the intensity of the moment. Joel explored you with his hands, every touch filled with a tenderness he didn’t know he possessed. Your soft moans urged him on, driving him to lose himself in you, in the feeling that, for a moment, he wasn’t alone.

Joel sat near the head of the bed, his gaze lifting to meet yours. He looked at you the way a hunter looks at his prey. “Take off that dress,” he said, watching you intently.

You pulled at the sleeves of your light blue dress and slowly slid it down, stepping out of your silver ballet flats. All you had on was a simple blue lingerie set, a gift from your boyfriend for Valentine’s Day.

“Come here, doll. Sit on daddy’s lap,” he said. You moved closer and sat on his lap, feeling how hard he was beneath you.

He grabbed your waist and unhooked your bra, cupping your breasts in his rough hands. “Your breasts are beautiful, so soft. Your boyfriend’s an idiot. He’s paying for me to fuck you, and here you are, taking off the dress and lingerie he probably gave you for Valentine’s Day.”

He slid your panties off, and you unzipped his worn-out jeans. He pulled down his boxers, and you saw his hard member—it was big and thick. You’d never been with anyone but your boyfriend.

“Ride me, sweetheart,” he said, noticing your hesitation. “Come on, do it, baby. Ride me.”

You climbed onto him, feeling the coarse hair on his legs and his rough hands gripping your waist.

You moved on him, your eyes locked on his face—weathered by time and age, his beard, every detail of him. You could see the pleasure in his expression. He had chosen you. He could have kidnapped any other girl, but he chose you. (I don’t know why, but this made me laugh.)

You moved as best as you could, his size making it challenging. You could feel your breaths quickening.

“Come on, baby, I know you can do better than that. I haven’t been bad to you. I think I deserve it,” Joel said, his words only motivating you to move more. He watched you from below, occasionally spanking you and smiling.

You let out a loud moan of pleasure as you rode him more recklessly. After a moment, you felt him grip your waist tightly and release inside you.

“You’re such a good girl for daddy. You made me come so good,” Joel said as he lifted you off him. His seed dripped out of you.

Joel held you, his strong arms wrapping around you in an embrace that seemed to say more than his words ever could. He didn’t know how he had gotten to this point, but in that moment, he didn’t care. Because, for the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel alone.

“Don’t go,” he murmured, his voice heavy with vulnerability. “I don’t want to let you go.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you replied, curling up against him. “I’m here.”

But reality soon caught up with them. The phone rang, and Joel knew it was time to collect his reward. He dressed quickly, avoiding your gaze as he left the room. He didn’t want to see you go, but he knew he had no other choice.

When he returned, money in hand, he found you sitting on the bed, looking at him with those eyes that seemed to see him for who he truly was: a broken man, lost in his own despair.

“What are you going to do now?” you asked, your voice soft but filled with concern.

Joel didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t have a plan, no place to go. But for the first time in a long time, he felt that maybe, just maybe, things could get better.

“I don’t know,” he murmured, sitting down beside you.

You didn’t say anything. Instead, you took his hand and squeezed it firmly, as if you were trying to tell him that, despite everything, he wasn’t alone.

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x oc #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #buffalo 66

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hyunjins-orange-slice-too · 2 days ago

Text

i want to use the word ‘love’

pairing: changbin x fem reader

genre: fluff, friends to lovers

warnings: crying, breakups, pet names (bun and bubs), very brief mentions of violence, she/her pronouns used, guest appearances by channie and jisung, no smut- just some kissing :)

an: it’s finally here! this is what won the poll and i’m so excited about it. i wanted to post it sooner, but it’s the longest thing ive written in a while and it took some time lol i hope you like it :) happy valentine’s day. you are loved ♡

masterlist

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you waited outside on the curb for him to pick you up. it was just starting to get dark and you could see the sun setting behind the buildings. the concrete was cold on your bare legs, your dress only coming to mid thigh. but you couldn’t stand anymore, your feet throbbing from your shoes. you stared down and the pavement, pushing a pebble around with your finger as you sniffled. you had mostly stopped crying once changbin said he was on his way. your heart was still shattered, but somehow, knowing that he was coming made you feel better. though you were sure you still looked crazy to anyone who may be passing by. if you thought about it too much, how stupid you look and feel, a fresh wave of tears fills your waterline. so you try to think about something else.

you try, and you fail.

all you can think about is his stupid smile. how he made you feel so loved. so.. important. until he invited you to dinner tonight, only to dump you before you had even finished your salad. your eyes welled up again.

“fuck..” you said to yourself, voice watery. you threw the pebble, watched it skitter across the street as a car pulled up and parked a few feet from you. you recognized that car.

the door opened and changbin got out, rushing to your side. “are you okay?” he was crouching next to you, holding you at arms length, assessing you for injuries like you told him you were in a car crash or something. “look at me.” he put his fingers under you chin and turned your face up to him. “oh.. y/n..” his heart broke when he saw your tear stained cheeks, your red puffy eyes and running mascara. he did his best to wipe your tears with his fingers. “what happened?”

you were so relieved to see him. he was the person who was closest to you, the one you would trust with anything. that’s why he was your first thought when you needed someone to come save you. but as comforted as you were by his presence, getting dumped still really hurt. and the tears returned with his question. they spilled down your cheeks and over his fingertips. “he..” you hiccuped. “he dum-dumped me.” you struggled to get the words out, changbins sweet face and thick frame glasses blurring through your watery eyes.

he was suddenly filled with rage. how dare he dump you and then leave you stranded and crying? heartbroken and no way to get home? he wanted to track him down and give him a few swings for treating you this way.

he would never treat you this way

that thought had been crossing his mind recently. every time you found some new loser to date only to be left heartbroken a few weeks later. though, this asshole had lasted the longest, managing to stay around for six or so months. and changbin wanted to beat some sense into him. or just punch him until he felt better. but, you needed him right now. so he pushed aside the thoughts of violence, the thoughts of sticking up for you, the thoughts of treating you the way you deserved to be treated. he pushed all of those thoughts deep down and helped you up off the curb. you stood on shaky legs and he noticed that your feet were bare, your shoes discarded on the sidewalk.

he sighed at your recklessness. he looked at you, and then your shoes on the ground. “my feet hurt..” you said, your voice still broken.

“prince bin?” he asked, though it was more of a statement than a question. he bent over and grabbed your shoes, handing them to you. and then he scooped you up. one of his arms behind your shoulders and one of them under your legs, he carried you in his arms and placed you down into the passenger seat of his car, careful not to hit your head. he was used to doing this, though he hadn’t done it in a while. you liked to go out with your friends occasionally, have some drinks, and changbin would always come and scoop you up when you were too wasted to walk to the car. you drunkenly called him a prince one evening, (though he thought you probably meant knight) and the title kind of stuck. he thought ‘prince’ was an apt title, considering the way he held you was technically called a princess carry.

but as changbin started the engine and pulled from the curb, he thought it was more like a.. bridal carry. and that made him smile.

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about a month had passed since that night and not much had changed. you still went on random dates, with random guys, just searching for the one who would make you feel special. the one who would treat you like you were the most important thing in the world. that’s all you wanted. you just wanted to feel loved. to have silly little inside jokes, and hold hands, and have fake arguments about who loves who more. but so far all you’ve found are assholes and idiots. sometimes both at the same time.

“i think im going to take a break from dating.”

changbin rolled his eyes, grabbing the popcorn from the microwave and dumping it into a bowl. he returned back to where you were on the couch, drowning in a fuzzy blanket. “i’ve heard that one before.”

“no, bin, i’m serious this time. fuck all these guys.”

“you say that but you’ll swoon at the next cute guy that looks your way.” he laughed.

“i just want to find my person.” you said, a little defensive. “there’s nothing wrong with that.”

he immediately felt bad for his comment. he was just kidding. but he knew this was a sensitive topic for you right now. “i know, bubs. i didn’t mean anything. i’m just teasing.”

you let out a loud exhale. “i know, bin. i’m just frustrated with all of it. when will it be my turn? you know?”

he nodded. oh he knew too well. he often had the same thought. when would it be his turn? his turn to take you out. to kiss your cheek. to hold your hand. “you’ll find your person.” he said, looking down at the popcorn. you couldn’t see the sadness in his eyes in the darkly lit room, but you could pick up on his vibe.

“you’ll find your person too, you know.” you said, nudging his large bicep with your elbow. “i know you’ve been single for a long time, and your job is demanding, and it’s difficult with valentine’s day coming up-“

“gee thanks, y/n. you’re really making me feel better.”

you both giggled. “i mean it though!” you smiled. “you’ll find your person. i know it.”

and he smiled back at you, knowing in his heart he had already found his person. he had found you a long time ago. but you hadn’t found him yet.

he threw a piece of popcorn at you. it bounced off your cheek and landed somewhere in the blanket. “hey!” you giggled, reaching for the bowl. but he held it out of your reach. you struggled against him, trying to reach for some retaliation popcorn but it was no use.

“bubs, i don’t know why you’re throwing popcorn.” he teased, laughing. “we’re adults. let’s watch the movie.”

“you were throwing popcorn! not me!” giggling, you returned to your spot, pulling the blanket up around your middle. “i want some popcorn too.” you pouted, pressing play on the movie.

“ah.. see i don’t know if i can trust you not to throw it at me.” he grinned.

“you started it!”

“i don’t recall that.” he smirked. he grabbed a few pieces of popcorn and held them up to your mouth. “open.” he said.

and you didn’t know why, but you felt his words in your tummy. they grew wings and fluttered around, flushing your cheeks. you did as he asked and opened your mouth. he dropped the pieces in and smiled, before facing back toward the movie, shoveling popcorn into his own mouth.

what was that? you wondered. why did that fluster you? you had been best friends with changbin for as long as you can remember. but you don’t remember ever feeling.. flustered around him? of course, you knew he was attractive. the man was so incredibly handsome. there was no denying that. and he was funny and sweet. but you never allowed yourself to go there. never wanting to ruin the friendship you had built with him. but.. this was a new development. you tried to shove it down, tried to forget about it and enjoy your movie night. he held another handful of popcorn up to your lips, dropping them in. you chewed, happily. feeling content but also, warm. his body radiating heat. you scooted a little closer to him, as much as you dared, your knee touching his thigh.

he fed you some more popcorn as he tried not to hyperfixate on where your bodies were touching. he tried to relax, play it cool, but his heart was hammering.

you eventually fell asleep, as you always do during movies, your head falling against changbins shoulder. as the credits rolled he looked down at you, admiring you from this awkward angle. your long eyelashes tickled your cheeks. his hand found yours under the blanket, but he didn’t grab it. didn’t try to interlock your fingers. he just gently brushed his pinky against yours, enjoying the moment. but it didn’t last as long as he would have liked.

you made a confused noise as you stirred awake. you lifted your head from his shoulder, rubbing sleep out of your eyes. your hair was standing up, your cheeks puffy. “did i..” you yawned. “did i fall asleep?”

“you always fall asleep during movies.”

“sorry, bin. i was just so comfortable i guess.” you stretched your arms out in front of you, your lazy gaze looking over at him.

he started at you for a moment, before..

“you’re so cute.”

it just fell out of his mouth. and it wasn’t the worst thing he could have said. it wasn’t a full on love confession, but he definitely said it in a way that suggested he wanted to be more than friends. he internally chastised himself.

the butterflies returned to your tummy, still confusing you. you looked away, out of embarrassment, struggling with these new feelings you were having for your best friend. were they new feelings? or were you just now allowing yourself to feel what you had been feeling all along? you didn’t know.

changbin cleared his throat. “i should get going.” he said. “it’s late. i have practice in the morning and you need some sleep.”

you nodded sleepily, and stood to walk him out. you crossed your arms over you chest, suddenly cold without the blanket or his body heat. you dreaded crawling into your cold bed and the thought crossed your mind that it wouldn’t be so cold if changbin was there with you. you blinked hard, clearing the thought from your brain. at the door, he hugged you like always, mumbling a “g’night bubs.” into your hair.

you waved goodbye to him and latched the door shut behind him. your apartment felt dark and cold and lonely without him. and it made you sad. you pulled yourself in between your ice cold sheets and tried not to think about changbins arms wrapped around you.

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“so you just like, dropped popcorn into her mouth?”

changbin nodded. “yeah and i’m surprised she couldn’t see my hand shaking.” he smiled then, remembering. “you should have seen her face though. she’s never blushed like that because of me.”

“so maybe it’s time to tell her..?” chan sing-songed while tickling changbins sides.

“what if it ruins everything, hyung?”

changbin lounged on the couch in the practice room, his sweat soaked shirt sticking to his body. he took a drink from his water bottle, swatting chan’s hands away, catching his breath.

“it’s time to finally do something.” chan said. “if it doesn’t work out, then you’ll know and can move on. instead of pining over her for the rest of your life, yeah?”

“i guess so.” changbin ran his hands through his hair. “im just so scared.”

“y/n is your best friend. even if she doesn’t feel the same way, she wouldn’t stop being your best friend. she’s not like that.”

changbin nodded. “you’re right. i just need to get on with it.”

he noticed jisung giggling over his phone in the corner and started to ask him what was so funny, but minho called practice back together before he could.

they both stood, chan patted changbin on the back. “you’re seo changbin. you’re spearB! you can do anything.”

changbin scoffed. “that was cheesy, hyung.”

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it was the dreaded day. valentine’s day. you obviously didnt have a boyfriend to spend it with, and you didn’t really have friends to spend it with either. they all had their own relationships. all except for changbin. but with your budding new feelings, you were worried to spend it with him.

but none of that really mattered because you hadn’t heard from him? you had texted him this morning, right before you clocked in for work. and you checked it on your lunch break and there was nothing. and now it was time to head home and you were a little disappointed when you saw no notifications. but you tried not to let it get to you. he does have a very busy and demanding job. but you couldn’t help the thoughts creeping in that maybe he noticed your strange behavior last night. maybe he was worried you were attracted to him and he was pulling away. it made your stomach hurt to think about it.

but the whole way home you couldn’t help but think about it. by the end of your bus ride, you were physically ill. you had convinced yourself that you had ruined everything. that he didn’t want to be your friend anymore because he thought you were into him and that scared him. you had ruined an entire friendship spanning years and years because you couldn’t control yourself around his popcorn? you thought you may cry.

approaching your apartment, you noticed your welcome mat was crooked. the message said “welcome-ish” in swirling font and underneath that in parentheses said “depends on who you are and how long you plan to stay” though the print has faded over time. you kicked the mat back into place and slipped your key into the lock. clumsily opening the door, dragging your tired and depressed feet into the dark apartment. you toed off your shoes before flicking on the light.

and that’s when you saw him.

changbin stood in the middle of your living room, in a black button down shirt with matching black silk tie. his black slacks looking freshly pressed. his black dress shoes freshly shined. he was standing next to a table that he had set up, complete with two chairs, tablecloth, and lit candles. the entire ceiling was filled with red and pink heart shaped balloons, their curly strings cascading down. he held a small bundle of roses in his hands and he looked incredibly nervous. so handsome, but nervous.

“changbin..?” you quietly asked, stepping further into the apartment.

he cleared his throat. “uh.. hey bun.”

he brought one of his hands up to his ear, tugging on his earlobe. a nervous tick of his that he’s had the entire time you’ve known him.

you waited, staring, unsure of what to say or what was even going on and honestly, all you could think about was how handsome he looked and how you looked awful. your work clothes stained and dirty, your hair a matted mess on top of your head.

“i think i probably have some explaining to do.” he said. “well, i have a confession to make i guess.”

your heart started beating irregularly in your chest. was this what people meant when they say their heart ‘skipped a beat’?

you walked closer to him, noticing now the smell in your apartment. it smelled good. your stomach rumbled.

“these are for you..” he held the roses out and you took them from him. they really were beautiful. they were pink and smelled like spring time.

you started to thank him but he cut you off. “i just.. i need to get this out first before i chicken out.” he said.

“my apartment is filled with heart shaped balloons, bin. i think it’s too late to change your mind now.” you joked. he chuckled, your teasing seemingly making him feel a little bit better.

“i guess you’re right.” he smiled. “i.. like you.” he reached out and delicately took the flowers from you, placing them on the table. and then he took your hands in his and looked into your eyes. his hands were sweaty and shaking slightly, so you gave them a reassuring squeeze. “no, like isn’t the right word.” he paused, thinking. “i want to use the word love, but i don’t want to scare you.” his eyes softened. “but bun.. that’s what it feels like. and i’ve felt this way for so long now. i don’t think i can stand to see you cry over another idiot guy who doesn’t deserve you. who doesn’t treat you right. i’ve been silent because i didn’t want to ruin what we have. you’re my best friend in the whole world and i would never want to jeopardize that.” he swallowed and took a deep breath. “but, i love you bubs.” he exhaled, feeling relieved at finally saying it out loud to you. “i want to be the one to take you out. to hold your hand, and to cuddle you at night. i know i can treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. if.. if you’ll have me.”

“bin..” you reached up and grabbed his face between your palms. “i wish you would have told me sooner. maybe.. maybe if you would have said something before, it wouldn’t have taken me so long to realize that.. i love you too.” you smiled.

his face absolutely lit up. his eyes went wide and his smile grew large. “really?” he asked, feeling like he was dreaming. like he needed to make sure he heard you correctly. you nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. “say it again.” he said.

“i love you, bin.”

he grabbed you around your waist and lifted you off the ground, spinning you in a soft circle. “again!” he giggled.

“i love you!” you giggled back.

he sat you on your feet and looked into your eyes again. he tucked your hair behind your ear and stroked your cheek with his thumb. “you have no idea how long i’ve been waiting to hear that. but..” he tilted his head back and forth, thinking. his lips in a smirk. “i love you more.”

“not true!” you argued.

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“wait, you cooked?”

he chuckled. “i tried. i hope it tastes okay.”

you stuck your fork in the pasta, bringing it to your mouth. “i thought you only cooked for sustenance. wait, does this spaghetti have protein powder in it?”

he stuck his tongue out at you from across the small table. “very funny. just try it. i wanted to try cooking for you. i need to know if i should never do it again.”

you took a bite, chewing slowly. it was actually really good. “binnie, this is delicious.”

his shoulders relaxed and he took a bite of his own. “wow, it’s not terrible.” he said, chuckling. “i didn’t know i could do that.”

you ate your meal and sipped on some wine and talked about your day, just like normal. turns out, he hadn’t been answering your texts because he had been here setting all of this up. he used the spare key that you kept under your mat to let himself in. he said it took forever to blow up all the balloons and he was worried you would come home to find him passed out on the floor, surrounded by half filled balloons. only then did he discover that they only floated if they were filled with helium. so then he had to figure that out. and it took him even longer to cook the pasta, really working hard to make sure it was right. and he used your shower to wash up (if you thought about that for too long it made you squirmy) and he put on his nice clothes. then he says he waited in ‘a state of panic’ for you to finally come home.

“i can’t believe you did all of this for me.” you said, leaning back in your chair, sipping your wine.

“i wanted you to know how special you are to me.” he stood up and grabbed your plate, taking them both to the sink. he rolled up the sleeves of his button up, exposing his muscular forearms. you weren’t sure if it was the wine, but you had plenty of thoughts about those forearms. he began washing the dishes, the sound of running water filling the apartment. you finished your wine and brought it to the sink, sitting it on the counter next to the dirty cutlery. you looked at him, admiring his appearance. he really filled out his shirt nicely. it was spread tightly against his broad chest, the buttons barely hanging on.

“bun, you’re staring.” he smirked.

“sorry. you just look.. so good.” you confessed. “plus, i can openly stare now without fear of making you uncomfortable. it’s not.. making you uncomfortable, is it?” you pulled your eyes away from his biceps and looked up to his eyes. he was smiling, the tips of his ears a light pink.

“i don’t mind if you look. want me to take the shirt off and flex?”

your jaw fell open, your core pulsed. “don’t tease about that.”

he turned the water off and dried his hands with the towel. he walked over and touched your cheek again, cupping it in his palm. his eyes were darker now, and his thumb grazed across your bottom lip. “i’m not teasing.” he said, his voice low.

you thought your knees may give out. you grabbed his arms, steadying yourself. you had never seen this side of him before. had never seen him flirt and be so.. sexy. he leaned down, his nose brushing against yours, your erratic breath mingling with his. he waited.

“binnie..” you exhaled. “kiss me.”

he slowly brought his lips to yours, placing a delicate kiss on your lips. it started off slow and sweet but soon became a little more heated when he slipped his tongue into your mouth. you brought your hands up around his neck, tangling them in his hair. he kissed down your jaw and to your neck, licking and nibbling at the soft skin there. you threw your head back, panting. “bin.. let’s go to my room?” you phrased it as a question because you didn’t want him to feel pressured. after all, he had only confessed his feelings for you an hour ago. you didn’t want him to feel like things were moving too fast.

but he immediately bent down and scooped you up in his arms. “prince bin.” he mumbled against your lips, carrying you through your apartment and to your bed.

and you smiled into the kiss, your heart so full you thought it may burst. if you thought about it too hard you were sure that you would start crying. because you knew.. you had found your person. and he had been here all along.

______๑♡⁠๑______ ______๑♡⁠๑______ ______๑♡⁠๑______

↑ inspo for binnies valentines fit hehe ↑

♡ pls reblog if you liked it! it truly helps a lot and makes me smile :) ♡

©hyunjins-orange-slice-too i do not give permission for this work or any of my work to be translated, copied, or reposted.

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aliwritex · 2 days ago

Note

hi this is kinda weird request ig lol but since it's valentine's day could you make a franco fic where he goes to his bsf house (cuz she lives in monaco and he's in monaco now, at least was in this morning for business / might not be an important information but it could be an excuse for him to stay over at her house or whatever) and both are single so they're the only valentine option to each other ?

notes: i’m only an hour late i’ve seen people post kinktober in december have mercy 🙏🏽 this is also short but there’ll be part two with smut that’s how i’m choosing to apologize edit: changed the header to match pt 2

You thought another valentine’s day alone wouldn’t bother you so much – since it would be the 20th of your life. You had girlfriends over for dinner the night before and had planned to stay in on the 14th, do some crafts maybe and clean up the decorations from your ‘galentines’ dinner.

In fact, you were fine, you didn’t really mind till you opened up instagram and saw everyone getting flowers, then moved to tiktok for distraction and everything was valentine’s themed.

You just groaned and put on phone down, deciding to do something else, but just as you did it chimed. You picked it back up again, it was a text from your friend.

“wyd tonight?” “nothing i’m guessing”

“you don’t have to say it like that” “you’re alone too this year” you replied

“i just landed in monaco” “we should hang out, later tho cause now i need a nap”

You agreed on dinner, at your place – you figured all the restaurants would be too busy and you didn’t want to pass as a couple. So hours later you found yourself setting up the table for another homemade dinner in your tiny apartment.

Franco didn’t knock, he texted you that he was on his way and you told him the door was unlocked. So he caught you bringing the food to the table and called out your name softly to not scare you. It still scared you, but it’s the intention that counts. When you turned around he had a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine.

“I was feeling festive” he explained “also thought you deserved something since you’re the one feeding me”

“I missed you,” you moved to hug him and couldn’t help but enjoy inhaling his cologne and having his arms wrapped around your waist, “haven’t seen you since last year. You look-“ you stopped to take a look at him “tan”

It’s not that you had a crush on Franco, you just knew and acknowledged that he was a handsome man. And he smelled really good, always. The fact was, he was the only close male friend that you had so your brain was always confused about your feelings towards him. Certainly you’d say you loved your girlfriends and would do anything for them but it was different with him, you didn’t really know where to cross the line. Besides, your friends always say that someday you might just end up together.

“What a latin summer gets you. Can we eat? I’m starving and this smells amazing” he asked as soon as you let go of him.

“Yeah, yeah. Can you serve us and wait in the living room while I deal with the flowers? We can catch up while we eat “

Franco gladly followed your instructions and walked to the couch with two plates as you got your flowers sorted. It was really sweet of him to get you a bouquet, though you couldn’t help but think it was a bit uncharacteristic of him to do so. You had never hung out on valentine’s before, so maybe he was just, in fact, feeling festive.

You had to stop your overthinking by the time you were done with the flowers, so you served some wine and made your way to the couch.

Besides the crazy thoughts in your head, your friendship with Franco had always been easy. One of those that you can just sit and talk about everything, it came easy for both of you. So by the time you were done with dinner you had already been through a thousand different topics and you had your head on his lap.

“So, what has got you spending Valentine’s alone? Not even desperate girls begging to get dicked down?”

“Can’t I take the time to come see you?” he raised his eyebrows as he looked down at you.

“Oh, don’t flatter me. I’d rather it was someone else instead of you, too, so don’t feel bad”

“I didn’t wish it was someone else, I like being with you. Besides, I think we had a proper valentines, dinner, flowers, wine, we’re basically only missing one thing” he teased, but you didn’t catch it, too busy scrolling through netflix to find something to watch.

“The chocolate, right? I swear I hid a box from myself last week but I couldn’t find it earlier. Can you bel-“

“That’s not what I was talking about, ¡por dios!” he said, frustrated before bending down to kiss you.

You were in shock for a second, unable to move as his lips pressed against yours till he pulled away to look at you. Then you didn’t hesitate in sitting up and reaching back for the kiss. His hand reached for your face, pulling you closer and smiling when your lips brushed.

Your noses bumped before he kissed you again. You could almost taste the wine on his stained lips and it made you want more. So when your lips parted and interlocked you sighed against his, letting him kiss deeper and deeper into your mouth.

You hadn’t realized how much you actually wanted him till then but since you got a taste you couldn’t stop yourself. Your hands met the back of his neck, pulling him closer as his fell to your legs, guiding you to straddle him. In no time you were sat on his lap, making out, tasting each other’s mouths as you felt heat travel from your faces down to your cores.

#a writes #franco colapinto x reader

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ilysungho · 2 days ago

Text

— ilysungho valentine’s special 💗

a/n: hello my loves ^-^ happy valentine's day! i hope you all like what i've prepared! let me know if any of the links don't work. and as always, enjoy <3 wc: 250-300 words each! contains: nsfw links, short scenarios, specific tags for each member, tags also say what's in the link, lowercase intended taglist: @antoncore @ericlvr @mari3s @dobbiesvvorld @zynz0 @kyujinii @gclhn @hanfourz @taylorluvation @txtistheloml

sungho -> link

contains: sungho x reader, not really a defining power dynamic so take it as you will, lingerie lol, dollification? sorta, use of nicknames, dry humping, penetration (p in v)

the lace laid on you like skin, perfectly fitting your body in every way, atop every curve of yours, for your boyfriend to see. sungho knew you would look absolutely stunning wearing the lingerie he picked out just for you. but actually seeing you wearing it was… something else. he was awestruck by your beauty as his fingers traced the fabric on your back, kissing you deeply.

“you look so perfect for me, better than i imagined, doll.” it had been his dream to have you wear something he picked out for you, waiting for the right moment until he gave you the gift. he had expressed to you that he wanted to dress you up like his doll, so when you agreed to it for the special day, he was ecstatic.

your breath hitched every time sungho’s fingers got close to your nipples while making out. you’d had your fair share of sex, but the timing and clothes made you feel so much more sensitive. he loved your reactions too; knowing that he is the one making you feel so good had him riled up.

he wanted to keep the pretty clothes on you, barely covering you but still just enough to entice him, hiding your private parts he so wanted to see. “get on top,” he whispered to you as he laid down on the bed. a shy smile decorated your face as you got on top of him, the thin fabric not doing much to keep your arousal a secret.

as he laid almost bare under you, you moved slowly to tease your boyfriend. the once shy smile now became confident as he smiled at you in love, following the motions into the special day.

riwoo -> link

contains: sub!riwoo x dom!reader, lingerie (again...), handjob, use of nicknames

the day had gone by perfectly, riwoo coming to surprise you with flowers and chocolate like any other typical couple, but also holding a small bag with what you thought was lingerie. and you were right as he showed you the pearly and lacey garment. what took you by surprise was how he shyly explained how he thought you would like seeing him wear one and do as you please. he guessed correctly as always, his senses always coming in clutch, when he saw you lick your lower lip, softly exhaling, "go ahead baby, change into it then."

after changing into the new lingerie, the pretty boy sat against the headboard of your shared bed. his shy face accompanied by his compact figure made him look so much smaller than he really is as you went to sit in front of him. taking a hold of his hard cock, you spread the already leaking pre-cum in your usual motions. riwoo looked at you with the prettiest of glossy eyes as you looked back at him tenderly, telling him how he looks like the prettiest little boy for you. his choice was immaculate, you thought to yourself, as his body jerked from the stimulation.

soft whimpers coming out of the short boy’s mouth gave you yet another signal that he was close to his release. he looked at you, as if asking for permission to let go, with doe like eyes and his lower lip caught between his teeth. "go on love, you can come." such simple words led to your boyfriend cumming rather quickly. maybe it was the occasion, maybe it was the attire, but he was too cute not to have all your fun with for the night.

jaehyun -> link

contains: sub!jaehyun x dom!reader, blindfolding, sort of dumbification?? idk you tell me, edging

“you’re gonna be a good boy for me right, myungie?” your hand held onto his chin softly, moving his head to nod as he kept still. patiently waiting for you to touch him, jaehyun let out a soft whimper to signal an opposite sense of urgency. no matter how well behaved he was, he only had one weakness and it was to ask you for more. he was a greedy puppy after all. good, but greedy.

“y-y/n p-please… mo-more… i need m-more…” chuckling at his disposition, you finally gave him a touch where he wanted you, but it wasn’t what he expected. in the moment when he thinks you will be mean and harsh to him, you were rather soft. your delicate touches on his hardness over his boxer while whispering the dirtiest of praises made jaehyun so sensitive. he could only keep his eyes shut and endure, not that it would help much with the blindfold.

being unable to see was another reason your puppy couldn't stop himself from pleading for more. your slow touches as you sat your thighs on top of his had him wincing in pain. "you're so good, you can endure for me right? i know you want to see me wearing the pretty clothes you picked for me."

his quivering lips made you so curious to see his most likely teared up eyes, yet you too kept composed. even though it's such a romantic day, you still have to show you love to him the same way as always, because he will take what you give him with no complains. he's just that good of a puppy for you.

taesan -> link

contains: (suggestive) taesan x fem!reader, taesan likes your boobs, reader has oral fixation

putting on your best clothes for the date taesan had planned out for valentine's had you so excited for what's to come. the dress perfectly fit you, especially accenting your boyfriend's favorite features of you. well, he loved all of you, but he really would do anything to find a life to stay in your arms amongst your boobs forever.

"babe, are you ready y-" the man you thought of all day appeared behind you as you were putting on any final touches. his face showed an expression you knew all too well, one where he was at a loss of words. "you look so stunning." he simply stated the obvious as his hands caressed your exposed shoulders, slowly going down to fondle your boobs as he so loved to do.

"taesan i just got ready," you uttered, closing your eyes to the feeling of his touch. he just hummed in response as he felt more of you, one of his thumbs coming up to go into your mouth. he knew you would quiet down as soon as you started sucking on his thumb as you always did. he loved how your tongue played with him, letting him know that he literally has you wrapped around his finger.

your own hands reached up to pull him down into an intimate kiss, letting go to ask "can we just stay home?" against his lips. your lover responded curtly, a smirk lighting up his features as he shook his head and pulled you to stand up.

"we have the whole night ahead of us, sweetheart."

leehan -> link

contains: dom!leehan x sub!reader (sorta, but it can be taken any way in the vid), glasses leehan, overstimulation, thigh riding

"good girl, just like that." leehan's lazy hands guided your body on his as you rode your high out on his clothed thigh. his glasses threatened to fall of before you brought your hand up to push it back onto his nose bridge amidst the feverish kiss you shared. your swollen clit felt extra sensitive as you rubbed against the wet fabric under you, yet leehan didn't stop kissing you, his hand firm on your waist.

your movements stilled as you came back to your senses, lips still clashing, until your boyfriend’s grip moved your body on the same spot once again. “you can come once again baby, don’t stop hm?” whimpering and nodding, you gave into his command-like plea as his grip loosened to give you back control.

feeling extra sensitive, having just came, you were much more vocal than you previously were. your boyfriend liked that though, smiling as he watched you rut on him. he thought you looked so cute while doing as he says even if your just using any part of him. whether it be his fingers, mouth, dick or even abs, you always rubbed against him with fervor. he means it when he says he could only watch you for hours and be entertained, the movie playing on the tv becoming just background noises against your needy voice.

thank you for reading! please like + reblog to show support, and feel free to leave feedback and comments through rb tags, anon messages, or dms! love you 💗 feel free to join the taglist though here!

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mischiefmaker615 · 3 days ago

Text

Eye for an Eye (2 of 2)

Summary: Loki does not like the idea of you being around potential suitors and means to erase any form of interaction you had with them.

Rating: PG14

Note: Part two was requested and i honestly debated on it Lol PART 1 was kinda left in a more fluff/sweet Loki manner, but if i decided to continue this one shot, i wanted to keep it portraying Loki as i saw him in the Thor 1 film. I hope you find still some enjoyment in this part, but it does follow the movie and hope the semi accuracy of the character's personality makes up for the mood shift sweats

Requester: @evesdust

‘’Loki… what did you do?..”

The sound of your slow footsteps bringing you backwards were the only sound one could hear while you gazed up at your lover. His expression was hard to read, even for you while his lips parted and closed, failing to bring out words just yet while your fingers released their tight hold on your dress.

‘’darling.. we can finally be together..’’ he said quietly, as if carefully like you hadn’t heard him the first time. His eyes were sharp, watching your every move like you were a mouse being cornered by a cat. Something seemed.. off about him..

“Loki.. are you alright?” you asked, a million questions running through your head while you gazed up at him with round eyes.

He seemed to look down amused at you, almost with a raised brow while he tried to believe that was your first comment about all of this. Nevertheless, he spread his arms out as if to prove he was alright while he slowly began descending the stairs. ‘’I feel more like myself than I ever had darling, for once I feel.. happy..’’

Your teeth caught your bottom lip, feeling unsure with the new energy that seemed to be coming off of him. he was always so light hearted, happy to see you and gentle. The god before you just three steps away now, seemed to give off nothing but the energy of a..

Predator.

‘’how.. how is this possible?” you breathed, glancing around as if Odin were somewhere you just hadn’t seen yet. Where was Odin?

Loki looked at you carefully, his hands extending out but you made no move to take them while he finished the last step before taking them himself, holding your hands close to his chest while his thumbs stroked your skin. Just as he always did.. but no.. he felt..

‘’Loki.. your so cold..’’ you gasped, your eyes fluttering down to his hands in yours before one reached up to feel his forehead, finding the same temperature. ‘’are you ill-‘’

‘’I am fine darling. I promise.’’ He smiled, his answer a bit dry, as if one would hold back annoyance while he brought your knuckles up to place gentle kisses against them.

‘’..where’s Odin?” you whispered, watching him carefully while he held eye contact, his helmet seeming the frame his brows and adding more height.

‘’..he’s fallen into the Odin sleep, he is well but it is unclear of when he shall awaken.’’ He told you slowly, his eye contact wavering ever so slightly while you gasped.

‘’gods.. and what of Thor?” you asked, feeling his fingers grip yours ever so slightly that had your eyes fluttering back down at them.

‘’he shall remain in banishment. As of now, mother has announced me king.’’ His hand gently found your chin, tilting it upwards so you could gave up at him and his familiar softness seemed to return for just a moment where your heart fluttered. ‘’I am king Y/N.. you no longer have to meet with suitors..’’

Your eyes rounded while you took in his words, blinking up at him upon realizing your vision needed to be cleared from tears. ‘’your-‘’

‘’I choose you darling, I always have and I always will. I want you, at my side, as my queen..’’ Loki said gently, his voice slow and promising while he took a small step to the side to extend a hand towards the throne. ‘’just as we’ve always talked about- we will rule together darling, just us, no one else.. we can finally be together..’’ Loki smiled, his voice having risen as if a child talking about something exciting he had received on Christmas while your eyes wandered to the throne.

This was all so.. sudden.. you knew Thor had gotten banished, much gossip flowing through the palace and to your benefit, had paused your weekly meetings in order to get things back into a rhythm now that the kingdom was short one prince. You didn’t believe any of the rumors.. Loki had just been looking out for everyone’s safety by telling the guard of their whereabouts.. but since that day, he had seemed.. distant.

Now he was king? Odin falling into the sleep not to long after? It all didn’t seem to make sense.. but he’s never lied to you before, and who were you to complain when you both have what you have always been wanting! Loki has gotten his throne and you both were now able to be together! So why did it feel like your smile was.. fake..

‘’I am so happy for you my love, I know you will be a wonderful king for Asgard.’’ You beamed up at him, having cupped his cold cheeks with a smile while he rested his slender hands on your wrists with a proud look.

‘’we shall soon plan the wedding darling, everything will be just absolutely perfect..’’ he breathed and cupped your own cheeks, looking into your eyes while he pressed his forehead to yours. ‘’your perfect..’’ he whispered, his lips finding your skin but the temperature having your eyes squeeze shut as to prevent yourself from pulling away.

Why was he so cold..

Loki seemed quite distracted after that, having not much time for you while you wondered the palace to seek his whereabouts daily. The guards had even denied you near the Bifrost, let alone past the palace walls with only the message that the new queen must be made safe in the transition times. Transition times? Yes there may be some coronation planning and feasts to ready, but it should have nothing to do with wandering outside the palace walls, let alone visiting Heimdal.

Come to think of it.. you hadn’t seen much of the Warriors three, nor Sif since the day Loki told you the news of becoming king. Frigga had refused to leave Odin’s bedside and any question you may have with any of the court leaders or guards, were vague and dismissive.

You wanted time with your soon to be husband but he seemed distracted.. bothered and at one point you had began to show signs of a cold with the strange temperature drop around him in which the healers had suggested you both continue sleeping separately until you felt better.

It got to a point where your frustrations over all had you seeking him out one day and the one place he tended to be often, was the throne room. Your dress swept up as you walked quickly down the halls, dismissing the guards with the wave of your hand- practically your first queenly orders to leave you be while they tried urging you to stop. You stopped right at the doors and eyed the guards who made no move to open them.

‘’open the doors.’’ You said carefully, the order running out of your mouth with a hidden desperate plea to see your lover.

‘’the king has requested that no one disturbs him at this time..’’ one of the guards answered with hesitation, seeming like he didn’t know whether he should have spoken out loud while you straightened your posture.

‘’he’s to mean everyone except me. I am his bride and his queen to be. You will open this door and refuse anyone else.’’ You said sharply, looking him dead in the eyes while you took a step back to make room for him to get started.

Both guards glanced at each other, and with seemingly to be a mental debate between them, they bowed and opened the heavy doors, letting you quickly slip in before they shut them behind you.

The throne room was cold- it always was.. wherever he was at lately. It was quiet, the room seeming to take on an eerie tone while you slowly stepped further and your eyes rose. Loki stood at the throne, yet his eyes weren’t on you, but past you. You knew very much that he wasn’t looking at anything physically in particular here, and by the sense in the space between you both, he was in the middle of using his Seidr.

Why..

You got the familiar feeling before whenever he had used magic growing up, he often practiced on flowers and using it to aid his harmless pranks when you both played. As years went by, for you at least it got easier knowing when he was using it. There was that sudden energy in the room, and you could always tell by his eyes when he was either in deep thought or spaced out, he was concentrating. Right now it would seem that although his eyes were open, he was looking at something.. something beyond what was here.. like reaching out into one’s mind as if it were right before you. What was he doing..

You weren’t sure if you should say anything as you neared the bottom of the stairs, not wanting to throw off anything that might ruin.. whatever he was working on. So you waited. Nearly ten minutes have passed before you saw him begin to take a step back and turn towards the throne, and yet you still didn’t know if you should interrupt. It wasn’t until he suddenly turned back around, it caused you to flinch as if he was going to direct something at you but realized he was still gone.

You bit your bottom lip, desperately trying to be patient while your fingers began curling at the fabric at your sides once more. A nervous habit you weren’t sure when you picked up. With hesitation, you began climbing the stairs, each step careful and quiet while your eyes stayed trained on his glassy ones that staired out towards the far wall. He looked.. deeply irritated, perhaps nervous but extremely frustrated. You weren’t sure if approaching him would be the best move, not wishing for him to do anything rash if you disrupted his concentration- but you knew he’d never harm you purposefully. You just wished to see him alright.

You came to the step just one away from him you took a deep breath. He was still now, standing straight and still while you looked up at his beautiful face. He was.. different. Seeming less than the man you had sought out every day and every day of that horrid time of the week and more like something stressed, bothered and.. power distracted? Running a kingdom was difficult, you understood that.. but there seemed to be much more to all this that just the transition period..

‘’..Loki?”

Even as a whisper, it was enough to have him flinch with a step back, blinking rapidly before his vision set on you.

‘’Y/N- ..Y/N you shouldn’t be here..’’ he said in haste, taking a step forward with a hand at your arm to help guide you down the steps but you pulled it free with a step back to face him.

‘’no- why must I leave? What has gotten into you lately? What were you doing just now?”

Loki blinked at you, truly finding this the first time you’ve ever been stern and demanding with him while he tensed and straightened. ‘’..there is much to do now that I am-‘’

‘’oh bull shit, you haven’t once joined a meeting to help prepare for your coronation. Quite frankly, I haven’t a clue what you have been up to, leading up to your new position here’’ you threw your hands up, days of pent of frustration seeping out to the point where your tongue became loose, and Loki noticed it with narrow eyes.

‘’you have been warned many times to not use that language within this realm, I thought we were clear that it’s no longer apart-‘’

‘’but it is apart of me Loki, like it or not.’’ You told him firmly, your eyes holding a desperate look for understanding while you took a step forward to place your hands against his chest armor. ‘’regardless of my upbringing here.. it still doesn’t change the fact of who I am.. who I truly am..’’

That seemed to cause Loki to take a sharp inhale, a flash to his eyes that had him looking away immediately as if one was trying to forget a forced and unpleasant memory. You gathered your patience, just glad you both were talking again while you looked at his avoiding eyes.

‘’Loki.. you do not lie to me, nor have you ever..’’ you began, your voice quiet while his eyes seemed to go off in thought but you kept trying. ‘’..what was it that you were doing just now?..”

His jaw tightened, being forced in a position where he could not lie, nor did he want to but at the same time, did not want to speak of the matter at the same time. The touch on his hand had his body instinctually relax, glancing down to see your dainty one grasping his before his eyes found yours. His eyes were.. sad, seeming regretful but also.. sharp, like the look he held when he came back from a battle that was more than brutal. ‘’..I needed to make sure Thor remained on Midgard.. he has found his worthiness again, and I have no doubt he plans to return..’’

Your eyes widened as you tried to piece things together ‘’that’s.. wonde-‘’

His hands quickly rested on both of your shoulders, his knees bent to so he was sure to be looking into your eyes while your own rounded. ‘’understand Y/N.. if he returns, things go back to the way things were.. you’d fall into the hands of another..’’ he said with seeming panic in his eyes while yours wandered.

‘’no that’s.. not if Odin chooses you- look how well you’ve handled Asgard so far-‘’

‘’you don’t understand Y/N! Odin will not choose me! Nor will he ever! No one will ever want the throne being handed off to a monster!” Loki shouted, his eyes glassy and he almost shook you by your shoulders that had you reaching up to grip his wrists.

‘’Loki.. what are you-‘’

‘’it doesn’t matter.. Thor will be coming, and I need to stop him..’’ he nearly scoffed and released you, moving a hand to take hold of yours before he began descending the stairs, making you pick up your skirts with the other hand and try to keep up with him. ‘’I need to keep you safe-‘’

‘’Loki- what are you.. where are we going?” you stutter, trying to get your hand free while trying not to trip down the stairs before you began truly pulling once you’ve reached the bottom.

Loki stopped, not even daring to look at you while you struggled in his hand, your pleas for him to release you and explain himself falling onto deaf ears while his breathing began to heave. Not a moment longer, he turned to look at you- his shear expression having your freeze with concerned eyes while he held promise, determination and sorrow.

‘’I’m sorry darling.. for everything.. but I made a promise, and i fully intend for us to be together.. no matter how longer, no matter what it takes.. all I ask is for you to trust me..’’ he said in pants, his voice quiet while you could have sworn you began to see tears threaten in his eyes- or it could have been your own.

‘’Loki.. I do trust y- hey!’’ you yelped while he threw you over his shoulder in a swift motion, beginning to walk again while you beat on his back and pulled at his cape.

‘’Loki! Put me down!! Where are you taking me! You cant do this!” your demands had now began sounding like pleas, a fear slowly growing in your heart as to what was to happen soon and what will become.

He hadn’t said a word, not until he had arrived at his chambers and waved the guards aside, pushing the door open himself before he took two steps in. ‘’you’ll be safe darling.. I promise..’’ he said gently before he set you down, taking the opportunity to close the door while you regained your footing before you began pounding on the door in panic to get it open.

‘’open the door Loki! Please! Talk to me!” you cried, a tingling on your fingers had you pull your hand away from the knob, his Seidr beginning to enchant the door to make sure it would stay closed while his hand gently rested against it on the other side.

‘’..i love you Y/N..’’ he whispered, knowing you might not being able to hear him, but knowing you definitely knew it while you sank to your knees with his footsteps slowly disappearing.

‘’Loki..’’ you whispered, pleading while you leaned your forehead against the door and felt the tears from your eyes land on your lap while you waited. And waited.

And waited.. and then..

Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life @soulpiercing @princesssunderworld @angiesrelics

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suzukiblu · 2 days ago

Note

In "you're a real katch" I'm a bit stuck on how no one's noticed Superboy supposedly having visited Superman but having no memory of it and etc with Match impersonating him. I do feel like what's going down now should reveal that one cause this is a bit of a major thing to miss.

I'm overthinking this.

I am enjoying Match getting comfort and etc.

This clone needs therapy

This clone needs SO much therapy, hahaha.

I absolutely also overthink, lol, you are not alone, friend. So my thought process with Matching going repeatedly unclocked by Clark starts with Match only supposed to have done these visits/drop-ins a handful of times spread out OVER time, and is probably also counting times where he was passing for Kon long-term and no one found out 'til later, so it wouldn't typically be a super-regular thing with a ton of chances for Clark to notice anything weird.

Historically Match only HAS gotten clocked as "Not Actually Kon", like, MAYBE twice that I can recall--once by Tana, who got him pretty much cold, and once by Tim and Cissie when the Agenda had him start yelling about INCREDIBLY out of character for Kon shit on national television (after weeks if not MONTHS of NOT previously clocking him), and if it's happened any other times that weren't deliberate reveals I don't know about 'em. Even KON wasn't sure if Match wasn't an alternate version of him during the whole Suicide Squad thing! Hell, even MATCH wasn't, though like, obvi that was Amanda Waller's fault, but still canon! Still counts, haha!

In general Match is depicted as being REAL convincing at passing for Kon to the point that even deliberate acts of sabotage he commits in the process look like shit that people could genuinely believe Kon would do/"mistakes" that people could genuinely believe Kon would make. Plus there's also the fact that, well, you don't always talk about every time you've seen each other with someone, you know? And even when you do sometimes you just say "the last time I/you came over" or "when I saw you the other day" and "no I forget, what'd you say it was?" or "uhhhhh dude that was like a month ago, remind me?" or just things along those lines. So they weren't meant to be particularly memorable visits or anything, just like, "normal" interactions Clark would be used to having with Kon every now and then, and not necessarily involving any topics that would come across as suspicious for Kon to know/ask about.

And like, if nothing else, Clark has ALSO gotta be used to having a better memory than literally everyone he knows ( and the fact that just about everyone has a WAY worse and more easily-influenced memory than they think they do ), so I don't think he'd necessarily tweak to having to remind someone about something he might've just mentioned in passing as unusual in his life experience. Especially since all extremely dedicated human-passing efforts aside, Clark still probably doesn't have the most accurate grasp of how much a normal memory would hold onto, given how wildly those can vary from person to person and how much harder that is to objectively learn/observe than shit like, how to flinch and what struggling to lift something looks like and what temperatures should be uncomfortable/painful.

And like, final finishing move: no offense to Kon, but historically he does not have the BEST track record at always fully grasping/understanding what Clark has said to him and has misunderstood or misinterpreted him MORE than once, so if Kon ever got confused about something "they" already talked about, it would not REMOTELY be an outlier to either him or Clark, haha.

#anonymous #rintalk

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niteskysx · 1 day ago

Text

strawberry.

bjorn x reader (i tried smth different by putting Reader in the fic instead of yxn so let me know if it looks okay or if it works for you guys 😭)

Summary: One night, she shows up in his room—with intentions he never thought she’d bring to him, acting like the complete opposite of her usual shy, rule-following, goody two-shoes self. He thinks she’s finally dropped the good girl act. Has she?

(if this is a bit long, i apologize. i tried to post it on ao3 but i havent been accepted there yet lol)

Bjorn sat on his bunk, thumbs tapping idly at the controller in his hands, the dim light from the screen casting a glow over his face. His brows furrowed in concentration as he muttered under his breath, completely absorbed in the game.

The door slid open with a soft hiss.

“Unless you’re Tyler with a bottle of booze or an alien here to kill me, get lost,” he grumbled without looking up.

No response. Just soft footsteps.

Bjorn’s fingers paused over the buttons, and he finally looked up, frowning when he saw her standing there.

She was the last person he expected to show up at his bunk. Little-miss-stick-to-the-rules, the one who always looked at him like he was one sarcastic comment away from getting shoved out of an airlock. Her usual stiff posture was gone; instead, she leaned against the wall, lips curved into a faint, knowing smile. The hell? She never smiled like that — not at him.

She didn’t look like herself. Her hair was a little more tousled, her eyes shadowed like she hadn’t slept.

She sat down next to him, close enough that her knee bumped against his. Bjorn blinked.

“Uh… hi?”

Her lips twitched. “Hi.”

Bjorn scowled, setting his controller aside. “Okay, what the hell? Did you get lost on your way to literally anywhere else?”

She tilted her head, gaze flickering to his mouth before meeting his eyes again. “No. I wanted to see you.”

Bjorn’s body stiffened. His brain scrambled for a logical explanation—maybe she hit her head during that last escape, or maybe Tyler had spiked the water rations for fun.

“What do you want?” he muttered, voice low and rough.

“Nothing,” she said simply, her smile deepening. “Just your company.”

Bjorn shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. “Go find company with the others,” he muttered. “You know, the people you actually talk to.”

“But I don’t want them,” she murmured, leaning in slightly. Their knees were completely touching now.

Bjorn narrowed his eyes. “Are you drunk?”

“No.”

“You sure? Because you’re acting weird. Like… you got body-snatched weird.” He forced a smirk. “Should I check for antennae?”

She laughed softly—a different kind of laugh. Low. Smooth. Something about it made his stomach tighten.

“Come on, Bjorn,” she murmured.

His body tensed. “Come on, what?”

She leaned forward just a bit, her breath warm against his ear. “You always push me away,” she whispered. “Why?”

His pulse jumped. He pulled back, eyes searching hers. “Okay, yeah, you’ve either been hitting the ship’s hidden stash or you hit your head.”

She tilted her head, her fingers skimming his arm. “What if I just want to get to know you better?”

Bjorn caught her wrist, gripping it firmly. “What the hell’s the matter with you?” His voice was sharp, but his grip wasn’t.

She only smiled, like she knew something he didn’t. “I don’t know.” Her voice dropped, almost teasing. “Why? Do I seem… different?”

“Yeah.” He let go of her hand, shoving himself upright. “You don’t act like this.”

“Like what?” she asked, stepping even closer. Now she was standing between his legs, looking down at him. He swallowed.

“Flirty,” he said bluntly.

She giggled. Actually giggled. Bjorn swore under his breath. “You hate me, remember?” he muttered. “Think I’m an arrogant prick.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.” Her fingers dragged down his arm, nails scratching lightly over his sleeve.

Bjorn shivered. He should push her away. Instead, he just stared at her. “You’re not like this,” he said again, voice strained. “You’re shy. Quiet.”

“Maybe I’m tired of being shy,” she murmured.

He sucked in a breath as she shifted even closer. He tried to lean back, but his shoulders hit the headboard.

“Maybe I like your attention…” Her breath brushed against his neck, warm and teasing. “And wondering what it would feel like to touch you.”

Bjorn’s brain short-circuited. What the hell was happening?

She was practically in his lap now, her weight pressing against his thighs, her fingers ghosting up the back of his neck. His instincts screamed at him to stop this, to shove her away and demand what the hell had gotten into her.

Instead, his mouth did what it always did when things got weird: it ran with it.

“Well, you know what they say,” Bjorn drawled, letting his gaze flicker to her lips. “Opposites attract.”

She smiled. “You think we’re opposites?”

“Yeah. I’m fun. You’re…” He waved a hand vaguely. “Not.”

She giggled again, a sultry little sound that sent heat curling through his stomach. “Maybe you just don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

Bjorn exhaled sharply, trying to ignore the way her knee pressed into his thigh. “Please. I know you. You’re the one who gives me that disappointed teacher look every time I crack a joke.”

Her fingers toyed with his belt. His muscles twitched under her touch. “Maybe I just enjoy your attention.”

Oh, hell no. Something was definitely wrong. His pulse hammered in his ears.

“What’s with you?” he asked again, voice rough. He caught her wrist before her hand could slide under his shirt. “Seriously.”

Her pupils were blown wide now, black swallowing the color. “I don’t know,” she whispered. Her lips parted. “But don’t you like it?”

Bjorn gave a shaky laugh. “Yeah, well, if you’re trying to seduce me, you might wanna work on the creepy factor.”

She tilted her head. “Is it working?”

Bjorn’s grip on her wrist tightened. “I mean… maybe a little.”

His smirk faltered when she swung one leg over his thighs and fully straddled him. Heat surged through his body. Her weight pressed against him, her nails dragging over the back of his neck—it messed with his head.

“Relax, Bjorn,” she whispered. “You think too much.”

“That’s funny,” he muttered. “Everyone says I don’t think at all.”

Her fingers slid into his hair, tugging his head back slightly. His throat bobbed. Every instinct screamed to stop this, because something about the way she looked at him wasn’t normal.

But then she leaned down and kissed him.

Slow. Deep. Needy.

Bjorn groaned, his grip on her hips tightening as he kissed her back. She tasted like metal and danger, like something he shouldn’t want but couldn’t stop craving.

His hands slid up her back, gripping her like he was afraid she’d pull away. The kiss turned messy, desperate. His mind screamed at him to get a grip, to push her away before he did something stupid.

But when her hands tangled in his hair, tugging him closer—he was gone.

So, so screwed.

(3 Hours Earlier)

The emergency lights bathed the control room in harsh, red flashes. Alarms blared through the ship’s speakers, a robotic voice repeating: “Containment breach. Sector 5.”

Navarro’s hands flew across the controls. “Shit, shit—come on!” she muttered, her eyes darting between the monitors. One showed Tyler and Bjorn, trapped in the quarantine chamber, weapons raised. The other displayed a writhing mass of translucent, sinewy creatures slithering toward them.

“Navarro, get us the hell out of here!” Tyler’s voice crackled through the comms, his usual bravado laced with panic.

“They’re closin’ in,” the reader said, gripping the back of Navarro’s chair. Her heart hammered in her chest. The creatures' movements were disjointed but fast, their limbs twisting unnaturally as they swarmed toward the two men. “Can’t we override the door?”

“I’m trying!” Navarro’s fingers flew across the keyboard. “They locked it remotely from the lab after the breach.” She paused, brow furrowed. “Wait. There’s a manual override in the maintenance shaft.”

The reader swallowed hard. “I’ll go.”

“You sure? It’s crawling with those things out there.”

The screen showed Bjorn, standing back-to-back with Tyler, swiping his forearm across his sweaty face. His voice crackled over the comms, his accent sharp: “Oi, can we speed this up? Not tryna be anyone’s midnight snack here!”

The reader didn’t answer. She was already sprinting toward the maintenance hatch.

The shaft was barely wide enough to crawl through. The metal walls groaned with each movement. Sweat dripped down her temple as she pushed forward, flashlight clamped between her teeth.

The override panel came into view — a small box marked MANUAL RELEASE. Her hands shook as she flipped it open and punched in the code Navarro had given her.

“Come on… come on…”

From the shadows ahead, something scraped against the metal. The hair on her neck stood on end. Her eyes darted toward the sound. The flashlight caught a flash of pale, rubbery skin skittering across the metal.

She slammed the release lever down.

The alarm shifted to a new tone: “Chamber door disengaged.”

Back in the control room, she stumbled through the door as Tyler and Bjorn burst in behind her.

“Holy fuckin’ hell,” Tyler panted, bending over with his hands on his knees. “That was close.”

Bjorn leaned against the wall, sucking in breaths. His shirt was torn, streaked with dark fluid. “Yeah,” he wheezed. “Remind me to never volunteer for a ‘routine inspection’ again.”

“I bloody hate space,” he muttered.

Hours later, the adrenaline had worn off. The ship was quiet again.

The reader stood in the tiny bathroom, running damp fingers through her hair. Her reflection stared back, eyes shadowed with exhaustion. She turned her head to the side, inspecting a scrape on her cheek from the maintenance shaft.

That’s when she felt it: a faint tickle along the shell of her ear.

She frowned, reaching up. Her fingertips brushed against something cold and slick.

It moved.

She jerked her hand away, heart slamming in her chest. Another tickle — deeper now, just inside her ear canal. Her breath hitched. She grabbed the edge of the sink, eyes wide with horror.

Sudden pressure built behind her eardrum. Her vision blurred. Then, as quickly as it came, the sensation disappeared.

Her pulse slowed.

Maybe she imagined it. Maybe it was just leftover nerves from the mission.

She forced a shaky breath and turned off the faucet.

Behind her, in the mirror’s reflection, her pupils dilated unnaturally. Just for a second.

And then... black.

———————————————————————————

Her breath came in short, shallow gasps. Her body arched into his touch as his fingers toyed with the button of her pants, fumbling to undo it. His mouth found the pulse at her throat, sucking softly, and a low hum escaped her lips.

Then—

A jarring flicker behind her eyes.

The sensation was sharp, like someone yanking a cord plugged into the base of her skull. Her vision blurred. For the briefest moment, everything went black.

When clarity returned, she was on Bjorn’s bed, half-straddling his lap, his hand already slipping beneath her waistband.

Her heart seized.

What the hell—how did I get here?

Her stomach lurched. Her body felt disconnected from her mind, like waking up in the middle of a nightmare. The pressure of his palm against her hip, the heat of his breath on her neck—she didn’t remember any of it or how she got into this position.

“Stop,” she whispered, voice shaking. “Get off—get off me.”

Bjorn didn’t react immediately. His mouth was still at her throat, teeth grazing her skin.

Her pulse skyrocketed. Panic took hold.

“Stop!” she said louder, raising her hand and slapping the side of his head.

“OW! What the—?” Bjorn recoiled, clutching his temple. His eyes flashed with confusion and anger. “What the hell?!”

She shoved his chest so hard he nearly fell off the bed. His head snapped back, the sting of her slap still burning against his scalp.

“What the hell are you doing?” she shouted, scrambling off his lap like he was on fire. Her eyes were wide with panic, cheeks flushed.

Bjorn blinked. His brain short-circuited. His hair was disheveled, her lipstick smudged across his jawline. “Me? What am I doing? You’re the one who climbed into my bed and started getting handsy!”

Her mouth dropped open. “I did not!”

“Oh yeah? You just happened to sit on my lap and try to eat my face for fun?” He pointed to his hair. “You yanked my hair like you were testing the damn roots!”

Her face twisted with confusion — then horror. Her hands flew to her mouth. “Oh my God.”

She stared at him, heart racing, mind spinning.

He scoffed bitterly, running a hand through his hair. “First you come in here, climb on top of me, panting in my ear like a rabid fox—and now you’re bloody hitting me? Fucks the matter with you?”

Her eyes went wide. “I—I don’t remember doing that. I don’t know how I got here— I don’t- I was lying in my bunk and… then I… I woke up here. With.. you.”

Bjorn let out a low, bitter chuckle. “Right. Sure you don’t.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed, shaking his head as he stood. “God… you are such a fucking tease.”

She backed away, breath unsteady. The confusion etched into her face was unmistakable. Bjorn’s eyes narrowed; his head tilted as he watched her, curiosity flickering behind his frustration.

Her brows knitted. She took another shaky step back, nearly stumbling before catching herself. Without another word, she turned and fled the room.

Bjorn ran a hand through his hair, giving his head a slight shake as if to clear it. “Fucking girls, man,” he muttered, then collapsed back onto his bed with a frustrated groan.

Reader slammed the door to her room and locked it, her chest heaving. Her heart still raced from whatever the hell had just happened in Bjorn’s room. She backed away from the door, rubbing her temples.

What the fuck was that? How did I even get there?

She paced to the mirror, her reflection just as disheveled and panicked as she felt. Her hair was tangled, her lips swollen from Bjorn’s kisses. But she didn’t remember walking there. Didn’t remember straddling him. Just… being at the sink. The pressure in her head. The sick squirming sensation beneath her skin.

Her hand flew to her ear. The spot just beneath the canal—where she’d felt it last night. A twitch, then a burrowing sensation. Her stomach churned.

No. No, this couldn’t be real.

She pressed harder, wincing at the soreness. Something had happened. Something had crawled in.

Her mind shot back to earlier: Tyler and Bjorn fighting off the small, slick creatures in the cargo bay. The skittering limbs, the way one darted toward the vent before Bjorn stomped after it.

Her pulse spiked.

One must've gotten out.

One must’ve gotten into her.

———————————————————————————

The med bay had found nothing. No parasites, no head injuries, no alien goo lodged in her brain. By the end of the day, she was convinced she’d had a psychotic break. A weird, horrifyingly embarrassing psychotic break that involved dry-humping Bjorn’s lap.

She hadn’t spoken to him since. Every time she passed him in the halls, she speed-walked in the opposite direction while he smirked like the cocky asshole he was.

Now the crew was gathered in the common area, poring over whatever scraps of data Navarro had managed to recover from the ship’s security feeds. Everyone was tense. Tired. Half-expecting those acid-blooded monsters to rip through the walls at any second.

Navarro tapped a few keys on the console. “Alright,” he muttered. “Here’s footage from corridor C, two hours before the first attack.”

The screen flickered. Grainy black-and-white footage showed an empty hallway. The group leaned in. Nothing happened for a few seconds… until a small, worm-like shape wriggled across the floor and disappeared into the ventilation shaft.

“What the hell is that?” Tyler asked.

“No idea,” Navarro said. “Looks like it moves like a—wait.” His brow furrowed as he clicked to the next feed. “This is from the crew quarters last night. After we locked down the south wing.”

The screen changed.

Her stomach dropped.

There she was. In fuzzy night-vision, walking into Bjorn’s bunk with a slow, almost predatory stride. She watched herself climb onto his lap, run her fingers through his hair, and kiss him like she was auditioning for a damn romance holo.

Tyler choked on a laugh. “Holy shit.”

Her entire body locked up. Heat flooded her cheeks. “T-t-that… that wasn’t me!” she stammered, voice cracking.

Bjorn, sitting across from her, turned his head slowly and met her gaze. His mouth curved into a lazy, delighted grin. “Sure looks like you.”

“It’s not!” she shouted, practically vibrating with mortification. “I-I don’t remember any of that! I was possessed!”

“Oh yeah?” Bjorn leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “By what? The Horny Ghost of Deck Three?”

The group burst into laughter.

Her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. “I-I swear! I was sleeping! And then I woke up in his room and—”

“On my lap,” Bjorn added helpfully. “Don’t forget the lap part.”

Navarro frowned, tapping the screen. “Wait, hold on. Look at the timestamp.”

They all turned back to the footage. As her possessed self kissed Bjorn, a tiny shape slithered out from behind her ear — the same worm-like creature — and crawled from the bunk to the floor.

Seconds later, her body froze mid-kiss. Her eyes went glassy.

“Oh my God,” she whispered. “I wasn’t crazy.”

Navarro nodded grimly. “Looks like whatever that thing is… it was controlling you.”

Bjorn let out a low whistle. “So you were possessed.” His jaw tightened, amusement draining from his face. “Brilliant. I was snogging some alien parasite, not you.” His eyes darkened. “That’s fucking disgusting.”

Tyler shifted uncomfortably, arms crossed over his chest. “Why Bjorn, though?” His tone was casual, but there was a flicker of something beneath it—jealousy, maybe. “I mean… you could’ve climbed into either one of our bunks.”

Bjorn, still lounging against the table, perked up. “Yeah. Why me?” He straightened, elbows resting on his knees, eyes locked on hers. “Gotta say, I’m curious.”

Even Navarro, typically all business, arched a brow and turned his attention toward her. The question hung heavy in the air.

She froze. The weight of their collective stares pinned her in place. Her mouth opened, closed, then opened again. “I… I don’t know.” Her voice cracked. “I don’t know what that thing wants.”

The silence stretched, brittle and sharp.

Navarro finally broke it, voice grim. “To reproduce,” he said, nodding toward the footage. “That thing—whatever it is—wasn’t just controlling you. It was looking for a host.”

Her eyes widened. “A host… for more of those things?”

“Exactly.” Navarro’s jaw tightened. “And it didn’t pick Bjorn at random.”

Bjorn’s smirk faded. “Wait… what the hell does that mean?”

Navarro leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “That thing was trying to reproduce. It chose you because you’re the most compatible host.”

Bjorn let out a dry laugh. “Compatible? What, like I’ve got a ‘prime breeding material’ stamp on my forehead?”

Tyler snorted, though his eyes never left the screen. “I mean… wouldn’t be the weirdest thing about you.”

Bjorn shot him a glare. “Piss off.”

She barely heard them. Her mind was spinning. “So… it climbed out of me and went into Bjorn?”

Navarro gave a slow nod. “Or at least tried to. We saw it crawl toward him on the footage before it disappeared under the bed.”

Her stomach turned. “And now it’s… what, still in here somewhere?”

The group fell silent.

Bjorn tensed. “Under the bed,” he repeated, glancing toward his bunk. His legs shifted, like he was preparing to bolt. “It’s still here.”

Tyler’s face paled. “Shit.”

Navarro stood. “We need to find it. Now.”

Bjorn took a step back, eyes scanning the floor. “Right. Great. A horny alien worm loose in my room. Just what I fucking needed.”

———————————————————————————

As Tyler and Navarro swept the flashlight beam across the floor, scanning for the creature, Bjorn shifted closer. His shoulder bumped lightly against hers.

“You know…” His voice dipped, low and teasing.

She stiffened. Bjorn leaned in, his breath warm against her ear. “Do you really not remember what happened between us?”

Her throat tightened. She turned her head slightly — and immediately regretted it. His blue eyes caught hers, sharp and glinting with amusement.

“I—I told you. I don’t remember,” she stammered.

He tilted his head, a slow smirk curving his lips. “Shame.” His gaze dropped to her mouth, then flicked back up. “You were so… enthusiastic.”

“Bjorn,” Tyler called out. “This isn’t the time.”

Bjorn gives him a look of displeasure.

Her cheeks felt like they were on fire at this point.

_________________________________________________

The flashlight’s beam glinted off the metal bedframe, casting shadows like skeletal fingers across the wall. Tyler crouched, lowering the light to the floor. The shadows shifted — and then something moved.

Tyler’s voice interrupted the moment: “Shit—there it goes!”

A glistening, worm-like creature squirmed at the edge of the beam, pale and slick, like it had been birthed from static. It slithered toward the baseboard.

Navarro lunged first. His boot stomped down with a sickening squish. The creature convulsed beneath the heel, its form pulsing, writhing.

“What the hell is that thing?” she breathed.

“Parasitic entity,” Navarro grunted, grinding his heel into the floor. “Uses human hosts to reproduce.”

Bjorn’s jaw tightened. “Reproduce… like make us host its babies?”

Navarro didn’t answer. She just pressed down harder. The worm gave one final twitch before going still, a smear of iridescent fluid pooling beneath it.

Bjorn exhaled shakily. “Jesus Christ.”

Tyler leaned against the desk, skin pale. “So… is that it? We’re good now?”

Navarro crouched to examine the remains. The goo shimmered unnaturally in the light. “This one’s dead.” Her lips pressed into a thin line. “But if it came through when we opened the rift… there might be more.”

Reader’s stomach twisted. “More? Like how many more?”

Navarro wiped the goo onto a tissue. “That depends on how long it was in you.” She stood, meeting reader’s eyes. “And what it did while it was.”

Silence stretched between them. Her skin crawled with invisible touches.

Bjorn broke it with a shaky laugh. “Great. So I almost got laid by a possessed chick because some horny alien worm decided I was a suitable breeding ground.”

He raked a hand through his hair and gave a crooked grin. “Gotta say, not my proudest moment.”

———————————————————————————

The ship was too quiet.

She sat curled up on the worn couch in the living quarters, pretending to read the manual for the comms system while the vents hummed overhead. The rest of the crew was gone, off checking the engine room for more of those alien freaks. She should’ve been worried. Anxious. Hyper-alert.

Instead, her mind kept flashing back to that grainy CCTV footage Navarro had pulled up yesterday.

Her. In Bjorn’s lap. Hands in his hair. Mouth on his like she was trying to suck the soul out of him.

The secondhand embarrassment still made her want to self-destruct.

"Deep breaths," she muttered to herself. "It wasn’t you. You were possessed. Just…ignore him."

“Talking to yourself now?"

Her spine straightened with a jolt. Bjorn’s voice.

Of course.

She didn’t look up. "Go away."

"Why would I do that?" His footsteps creaked across the floor. “We’ve got the whole ship to ourselves. Thought we could…bond.”

"Pass."

He chuckled. The sound made her eye twitch.

Her focus stayed glued to the manual as he dropped onto the couch across from her, sprawling like he owned the place. Silence stretched between them. She could feel his gaze like a physical weight, dragging up her legs, past her folded arms, straight to her face.

“You know,” Bjorn said after a minute, “I’ve been trying to figure something out.”

She exhaled sharply. “Are you now?” She answered completely uninterested.

He ignored her. "Your chapstick."

That got her attention. Her eyes snapped to his. "What?"

"That night," he said, tapping his lower lip with his thumb. "When you kissed me."

Her cheeks flamed.

“Strawberry?” He squinted, tongue running over his bottom lip. “Nah… cherry, maybe? It was sweet. Kinda fruity.”

Her stomach twisted.

Bjorn chuckled. “C’mon. Tell me. It’s been driving me fucking crazy all day.”

"You're unbelievable," she muttered, standing abruptly to leave.

She turned toward the hallway — but he was faster. He stood and moved into her path with infuriating ease, blocking the exit.

Her heart skipped. She took a step back, and her shoulders hit the cold wall.

Bjorn placed a hand on the wall beside her head and leaned in just enough to make her breath hitch. His blue eyes sparkled with pure mischief.

"You know," he said softly, "it's my birthday today."

She crossed her arms, willing herself not to react. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks." His smirk deepened. "Aren’t you gonna ask what I want for my birthday?"

She clenched her jaw. "No."

"Go on." His gaze flicked to her lips. "Ask."

Her throat tightened. She hated how her pulse spiked when he looked at her like that. Like he saw straight through her bravado.

"...What do you want for your birthday?" she mumbled, arms crossed, eyes fixed on the floor.

Bjorn's mouth curved into a slow, wolfish grin. "A kiss."

Her head snapped up. "You’re insane."

"Maybe." He pushed off the wall just enough to trail his fingers down her arm. Goosebumps erupted across her skin despite herself. "But you seemed pretty into it last time."

"It wasn’t me," she said through clenched teeth.

"That’s what you keep saying." He leaned in again, voice low. "But you know what I think?"

"No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me."

His breath brushed her cheek. "I think you liked it."

Her chest squeezed. "You’re disgusting."

"And you’re a terrible liar." His eyes dropped to her mouth. “C’mon. One little kiss. For my birthday.”

The worst part? He was close enough that she could smell the faint cologne-and-cigarette scent of him, feel the heat of his skin. And for one horrifying second, she thought about giving in.

Then her fight instinct kicked in.

She smacked the side of his head — hard — and shoved him away.

Bjorn stumbled back, surprised, then laughed. "Agh! What the fuck?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she snapped, chest heaving. "Go and get your head checked, you freak."

She turned and marched toward the door.

Behind her, he chuckled again. "Damn. That actually fucking hurt."

She rushed out, heart racing, steps quick and unsteady.

"Strawberry," Bjorn called after her. "I knew it."

taglist: @guardiandear @asvtrials @spikedfearn @kayharrisons @maladaptive-dreamer @em1i2a3 @theblueflower05 @mommyarachna @caileeflavoured @blackynsupremacy

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