#i was literally like 11 or something when i watched the lodge oh my GOD thats so weird

[sinclarify]

you liked jayden revri because of his role as charles rowland in dead boy detectives. i liked jayden revri because of his role as noah in disney's the lodge. we are not the same

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "Part of the Furniture" Episode Followup, Part 1

Surprisingly, this will not be an 11-minute furniture store commercial under the guise of an Odd Squad episode. This is, in fact, a British phase meaning "a person or thing that has been somewhere so long as to seem a permanent, unquestioned, or invisible feature of the landscape."

So in other words...maybe they won't treat Orli as new despite only be- ah fuck it who am I kidding. They will. I've seen the synopsis. They will.

Below the break.

They're staring into my soul.

I Don't Like That™.

Oh, a Gemma episode!

...Oh, a Gemma episode.

Okay, well...I'm fairly neutral on her, so I'm going to very much approach this with caution. Though given the complaints I've seen lodged against Opie, something tells me I won't like this episode if she's a prominent spearhead in it.

Did...did she say "Timekeep Terry" or am I tripping???

Again, I am forced to bring up how we've already gotten lore of the Odd Squad Timekeepers and how we're just yo'ing that right out the window.

...No, actually, lemme set that aside to ask why we have some random-ass dude watching the bullpen from what has to be his home and say that if that's not Timekeep Terry then we've reached "FUCK NO" levels of creepiness.

Look, I'm a fan of the show. I'm not hackin' into webcams to watch children in suits go about their day at work. That's a hell and a no.

"Well, she's definitely part of the furniture now."

Sigh...not even past the opening credits and we're already getting a title drop taken literally. Like it's taunting non-British people who don't know what the phrase means.

But the Internet exists. All I had to do was type in "part of the furniture meaning" and get an (non-AI-generated! human!) answer. Millions of people will do the same thing.

So to you I say: piss off. And I'm not talking about peeing.

(Yes, I know Orli then asks what it means. Point still applies.)

Okay...so we have Bunny Society, Kitten Society...can we get a Puppy Society to complete the trifecta?

hanggliding society

odd squad has hanggliders

Skill issue, charged by jealousy.

"...and the Odd Squad Band. I play trombone."

Somewhere, Olympia is biting the fuck out of a handkerchief and crying waterfalls. (Hey, if her dream of joining the Odd Squad Chorus was shot down and later revived...)

"Sounds like you have trouble saying 'no' to things."

Oh. Joy. "Olympia's Day" without the wild and crazy hallucinations and the sanity slippage and the mathness. So you sucked all the damn fun outta it because that was the cherry on top of a fantastic episode.

*slow clapping while I melt into a puddle*

New headcanon: since Alexander, and by extension Orwell, have limps, he uses his shared ability as a way to get around easier, scaring people be damned.

Headcanon accepted.

Oh, that is Timekeep...er...Time-Beat Terry!

Okay, good. Thank God. For a second there I thought I was gonna have to yo Gemma aside and give her a smack or two.

"Nice agent, not-nice agent" is like PBS Kids execs noticing Otto and Olive namedropping "good cop, bad cop" and saying "GOD no, not in your ass's lifetime" and preschool-fying it.

It's not quirky. It's not funny. It's not cute. Just say it normally. No one will care.

"It's when one of us acts like the villain's best friend, and the other one's really grumpy."

Okay, she's in the Department of Help so I can give her a pass on not knowing what it means, but this is very clearly explaining something to the audience that can watch a Season 1 episode and get the gist of without having it explained to them.

DeWitt, Schmid, and everyone else...what are you DOING.

"Yes, except it doesn't work with just one agent!"

Okay, but...there are other tactics. May I point to Otto in "By the Book" for more information?

Ah, so we have the UK's answer to the US's and Canada's cantaloupe.

I mean...would have been nice if they stuck with the cantaloupe, but we got a whole episode about that and the rehash line has to be drawn somewhere.

And speaking of cantaloupes...exactly how big is Orli's Headquarters, made of two agents, that it needs a cantaloupe to power it? It's a dark cave behind a waterfall. You're better off with flashlights!

Sev- I'm sorry, several times a day? The fuck are they doing to the thing that it needs replacing several times a day???

God, the power bill would choke half of America.

Hehe finale foreshadowing hehe you're not slick hehe bite my ass.

...wait waIT WAIT I MENTIONED "BY THE BOOK" HALFHEARTEDLY I DIDN'T THINK THE MATH MORAL WOULD ACTUALLY RIP FROM IT WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI-

"Did you forget?"

"Like I have memory loss?"

"...Look, I've had that happen to friends. Children who-"

"No, I didn't forget, Orwell. Go to your appointment."

Ahhh, so it's Time Thief Terry. Okay, that makes sense.

Doesn't excuse the fact that they won't mesh him in with current lore...but it makes sense.

*long deep sigh as seren unzips her chest, takes out her heart, and slams it on the table*

I can't keep doing this. Between Wonderful Precure and Odd Squad UK, I'M GONNA DIE.

"And thanks again for volunteering to bring the juice boxes this week."

Oh, if these were alcoholic, there would be so many comments I could make here.

Ah, and there's the Big Ben mention. Honestly, like the Doctor Who reference, it had to happen eventually.

Honestly, I actually thought for a half-second Ozzie would play bad cop. But then I realized he likes helping people and he's too nice for bad cop.

Orli, on the other hand, will snap Terry like a twig and tear right into him like a Nintendo 64 on Crimmis. And there's about a 20/80 chance of that happening.

Bringing "nice agent, not-nice agent" up once was irritating.

Bringing it up twice makes me want to strangle...a tree.

Bringing it up any more will cause me to go after fences next. And my ass can shred a fence.

Say it properly, Gemma. Stop PBS-Kids-fying it.

Hearing the word "roleplay" in any piece of Odd Squad media is some kind of sin, right next to "cosplay".

A piece of me just died.

Don't be stupid. Don't be stu- ah FUCK they're gonna make her stupid, aren't they.

FUCK your culinary biology. All my homes HATE your culinary biology.

All the videos of people putting rubber bands around watermelons and then them exploding? LOL FAKE NO. IT'S SUPPOSED TO DEFLATE HEHEHE.

See, the more I think about it, the more I have to wonder...haven't we already seen Orli say "no" in the show before? She and Olympia are vastly different and one has a clearly-defined goal in life while the other one's just...flat as a wooden board with no motive at all. If Orli had an actual motive like Olympia, this episode would be a lot better, but she doesn't, so...she doesn't.

(On to Part 2!)

[rawdogmeharry]

will you write something about reader and harry having a 12 year age gap, but fans and everyone are really supportive of their healthy relationship? like they’re so in love. lots of fluff and maybe a tinge of smut? 🥺 love your writing 🥺🥰

old man

or, the one where Harry’s family loves Y/N and he loves her even more.

]part 2: old bones]

sorry for the wait, hope you enjoy babe <3 and thank you very much, that’s lovely to hear!!

requests go here:)

masterlist

•

“What d‘ya say, baby, red or white wine?“ Harry ponders, leaning one hip against the kitchen counter and holding up the two dark glass bottles in his hands, showing them to Y/N.

“I dunno, I‘d say red but Anne‘s not really a fan of it, so let‘s just take the white,“ she shrugs her shoulders, little animated hearts dancing around in her eyes from watching Harry look so fucking effortlesly hot for no damn reason. His sheer button-up that shows his vast collection of body ink and the way his black jeans fit snugly on his juicy thighs are the reasons her panties are drenched inside out.

Little does she know, he‘s thinking the exact same thing.

She stands in the kitchen doorway, dressed in a tight, sand colored turtleneck, black bell bottomed pants and the pointed-toe nude Louboutin heels Harry had gotten her for her last birthday, looking like Harry‘s next meal. All he wants to do, is take those pants, shove them down to her thighs, bend her over their glass dining table and bury his face in her cunt and ass.

But, they‘ve got places to be and people to see at the Styles-Twist family gathering.

Dead puppies, grandma boobs, cow udders is all that circles his head because nothing else can bring his boner down.

“Hey, where‘d you go?“ Y/N waves her hand in his face, seeing his spaced out face and eyes weirdly zoned in on her tits.

“Huh?“

“Y‘zoned out on me, Har, y‘okay?“ she slowly walks towards him with her brows furrowed, her heels making a really satisfying noise on the gray kitchen tiles.

“Oh, yeah, ‘m fine, kitty, just thinking ‘bout how pretty y‘are,“ he grins and tugs her in close by her love handles, then gradually migrates his hands down to her ass and gives it a firm squeeze once she‘s fully enclosed in his arms. And about how hard I want to fuck you, you fucking Goddess, he thinks to himself.

“Let‘s go then, bub, don‘ wanna be late. Been a while since we last saw your mum, I‘ve missed her,“ she smiles up at him. “And, wanna get home as soon as possible as well, also been a while since we used those handcuffs, huh?“

Harry watches as she bites her bottom lip and feels her dainty hands stroking up and down his back, and just as he‘s about to ram her against the wall to spank her and remind her how daddy doesn‘t like to be teased like that, she quickly slips out of his embrace and spanks his firm bum, telling him “let‘s go, Har“ and giving him a pointed look as if to silently tell him that she knows exactly what he‘s thinking.

‘‘‘

“Oh, yeah, since ‘m on winter break right now, me ‘n Harry started re-watching Friends, but my old man can barely keep his eyes open past 11, so it‘s been goin‘ really slowly,“ Y/N giggles, and that‘s the only part of the conversation Harry hears as he‘s approaching his lovie and Gemma, the two of them talking alone on the outside bench of Anne‘s back garden.

He feels finally free after hearing his uncle talk about the new corn he‘s been growing and how the high fiber content has really helped with his digestion for the past half an hour, and all he wants to do is throw Y/N over his shoulder, go home and fuck the ever living shit out of her. Maybe they won‘t even make it inside the house, he thinks, maybe he‘ll just take her in the car in the driveway.

“Hey, is the old man you‘re talkin‘ about supposed to be me?“ he pretends to be offended with raised brows and mouth open in mock offense, throwing his arm around his lovie‘s shoulders and leaning against the side of the bench in a hunched over sitting position with his bum right at the edge.

“Well, I don‘ really have any other old men watchin‘ Friends with me,“ she shrugs, her eyes regaining the light they get whenever Harry‘s around.

“Better not,“ he says in a stern tone, expression softening once again as he feels her hand on his thigh, rubbing softly in reassurance.

Then, he hears someone else giggle beside his baby, completely forgetting that Gemma‘s been sitting beside Y/N, because all he sees, knows and breathes is Y/N.

“You guys are so cute,“ Gemma giggles again and Harry notices just how tipsy his sister is from the sparkly look in her eyes, no doubt from the delicious wine set out on Anne‘s kitchen island. “Can I tell you a secret?“

“Go ‘head, Gem,“ he chuckles, brushing his fingers through lovie‘s soft hair, “jus‘ don‘ be mad at me if y‘gonna be embarassed by it for the rest of y‘life.“

“Oh, shut up,“ Gemma rolls her eyes, “I may be drunk, but ‘m not stupid, it‘s nothin‘ embarassing. Jus‘ wanted to tell you both how glad I am you two ended up together.“

“We‘re glad too, Gem, thank you,“ Y/N smiles at her, a fond look taking over her face from the realisation at how lucky she got with her sister-in-law. Or actually, Harry‘s whole family, really, and she feels beyond grateful for how accepted and loved she feels in it.

“No, like, ‘m sayin‘ just-just how grateful I am my brother ended up with someone so amazing, so understanding and just—overall such a great person. Really, at first, me ‘n mum were a bit skeptical because of—you know—the pretty big twelve year age difference and all, and Y/N bein‘ only eighteen when y‘met. But over time when we got to know you, you‘re mature beyond your years and I wouldn‘t wish Harry any other person. ‘M really glad that all the negative comments, looks and hate y‘both got at the start of your relationship didn‘t break you up or put any tiffs between you. Y‘gained the fans‘ trust, didn‘t let them overwhelm you. Just proves that no hardships can separate you‘s, you‘re meant to be.“

And Y/N‘s got tears in her eyes at the end of Gemma‘s mini speech, because she couldn‘t imagine hearing nicer words from her boyfriends family. If everyone genuinely thinks all of this about her, she‘s quite literally the luckiest person in the world.

Harry watches as Y/N doesn‘t hesitate to give Gemma a big, fat hug once she‘s done talking and all he thinks is how right Gemma is.

How right she is by saying that Y/N is the most fucking amazing thing to ever happen to him, how nothing can separate them and how they‘re meant to be. That‘s all  Harry thinks about all day every day, and to think that his sister and probably the rest of his family have the same outlook on their relationship is like putting in the last missing piece of the puzzle.

Y/N pulls away from the hug and subtly wipes at her undereyes, “thank you, Gem. I just-I don‘ really know what else t‘say except thank y‘so much.“

“No, but seriously,“ Gemma grins at the next part she‘s about to say, “jus‘ the other day me and mum were talkin‘ about the adorable little buggers you‘d make with your good genes and all an-“

“Okay, Gem,“ Harry chuckles and takes the almost empty wine glass from her hand, “thank y‘for the kind words, but tha‘s all for tonight, I think.“

Gemma pouts, “hey, why‘d y‘take my wine?“

“C‘mon, let‘s go find Michal, he‘ll know what t‘do with ya,“ Harry smiles at his sister and helps her up from the bench and watches as she uncoordinately trots towards the door, heading inside of the warm house where the rest of his family are chatting away amongst eachother.

He stays behind and quickly leans down to whisper in Y/N‘s ear, gripping her thighs in both of his hands, “bathroom upstairs. In five minutes. Daddy doesn‘t like to wait.“ And walks away, catching up to his sister and leads her away to her boyfriend. He wants her, and he wants her now, because he physically cannot contain all of the love and absolute appreciation he has for her inside of him any longer.

Y/N just sits there with clenched thighs and an irregularly beating heart.

‘‘‘

“Fuck,“ Harry pants against his lovie‘s neck, keeping her hands pinned to the wall above her head by her wrists, “how are you this fucking beautiful, huh?“

“Fuck, please do something, Har,“ she mewls into his ear, desperately wanting to grind against something and longing to feel his cock lodged deep into her pussy.

“That‘s not my name,“ Harry growls and grips her wrists tighter.

“Daddy. Daddy, please fuck me, just-please, do something.“

“God, bunny, y‘drivin‘ me crazy. Can‘t fuck you here, don‘t want m‘family t‘hear you screamin‘ fo‘ daddy to fuck y‘ass harder. Gonna make it home, first. Or halfway.“ He grinds against one of her thighs and his cock is leaking so much precome he‘s sure there‘s gonna be a wet stain on his dark jeans once they get out of this Goddamn bathroom.

“Just stop talking, Daddy,“ she pants out, not really caring for the consequences of talking back to daddy at this exact moment and slots her lips to his own, immediately sucking his tongue into her mouth.

And Harry thinks he‘s gonna let her off for this one, because they both need it so much that the bloody rules daddy made can fuck right off through the window.

He moans into her mouth and takes his tongue out of it, quickly pulling back and looking into her eyes, “put your hand into your panties and feel how wet y‘are for me.“ And let‘s go of her wrists.

She does as she‘s told, feeling so fucking thankful for the small amount of friction she gets from her fingers quickly brushing on her clit as she passes it to her weeping hole and rubs her her pointer finger at the entrance of it.

Taking her hand out of her pants, she shows Harry her shiny, slick fingers coated in her juices.

“Suck on them like you‘d suck my cock.“ He rasps out with his hands put on either side of her head.

She takes them into her mouth and moans at her own mouth-watering taste, sucking her fingers to the back of her throat and gagging on them like she‘d gag on Harry‘s cock.

Harry moans out from the filthy sight and locks their lips together for a final time, “five minutes to say goodbye t‘everyone and then I want y‘in the front seat of m‘car with your pants in the back.“

[dawn-of-tomorrow]

shoutout to @punishing-gray-raven-ocs for this ask game!! (didin't expect to be tagged with one so soon lolol but i'm overjoyed~~ ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡❤️❤️)

1) What made you even think of trying Punishing Gray Raven? What made you stick with it?

Funny story actually-- I've long heard about PGR, way back when it was first released even, but I just didn't give it a chance back then mainly because it was in CN and I couldn't understand shit (rather ironic given how I am now lmao).

As for why I decided fairly recently, a couple of months give or take, to give PGR a shot? It's mainly due to the fact that I heard that the Global version would be out very soon, so I thought why not dive into what I've missed so far... not knowing that I'd become THIS obsessed with the game, aha~.

The most obvious thing that made me stick to this game are the interesting cast of characters, the "fun" story, the amazing yet simple game mechanics, and etc. etc.

2) What problems, if any, do you have with PGR?

Honestly speaking, the thing that most VEXES me at the moment about PGR, specifically PGR Global, is the wonky translations. It feels like a group of half-assed fan translators and one official translator who's not doing a good enough job with reigning everyone in instead of feeling like a group of professional translators who know what they're doing. Hell, I've seen better translations from some of my twitter mutuals!

3) Who is your favorite Construct, and why?

Lee. There's no question about it, Lee is my most favorite Construct at the moment (and forever perhaps ohoho~). As for why, god, hold that mic for a bit, I'm gonna go on a fucking rant. Ehem.

First of all, let's start with the most basic of things, like his appearances; As Palefire, he looks like this suave, very aloof, super serious, unapproachable, and "gets shit done efficiently" type of person, and while that description certainly isn't wrong, it's also hiding more layers of Lee's overall personality; as Entropy, he certainly looks and feels bit more casual than before, along with feeling somewhat more, even if a tiny bit, more honest with his feelings and easier to approach than before.

Despite being a serious, no-nonsense, grumpy guy, he's prone to occasionally quip and snark at anyone at their own expense especially if they get on his nerves (see his interactions with Kamui, not even the Commandant is spared from this!). He's also not as cold and distant as he may come across, given that, early on, he quite literally jumps in front of Liv to take a hit that was meant for her with absolutely no hesitation whatsoever, he's almost always the first person to make comments on the Commandant's state as well as express his undiluted feelings (though not without hiding it on occasion behind anger/annoyance, thus making it a case of "anger born from worry").

You can also easily tell if you pay close enough attention to his dialogue and actions that he's not good with expressing his true feelings even to the people he cares about (thankfully Murray, Skk, Lucia, Liv, Kamui, etc. can usually pick up on what he really wants to say), is the type to often be misunderstood due to him being the kind of person who believes in "actions speak louder than words", that he's used to taking care of others instead of prioritizing himself even to his own detriment; while making it clear that he prefers to think and act in a logical and practical manner, he's not exempt to having emotions/feelings, as such, he can be pretty empathetic towards other people even if he doesn't look like it (he's even the first one in the Gray Raven squad to point out WHY EXACTLY the people they come across in Echo Aria refuse to leave their homes even with high risk of the Red Tide washing everything away, and fully understanding as well as getting it).

Alrighty I'm gonna cut that segment short now before this becomes too long for anyone to read through, ehe~!

4) What made you think of designing PGR OCs, instead of making yourself into a self-insert?

.... Actually, truth be told, both of my Skks are, in some way, self-inserts~. It's just that they start out as one before eventually developing into their own characters with only hints/traces of their self-insert origin. Though my Construct OCs are definitely not self-inserts, that much I can certainly say so!

I made them mainly because I really enjoyed the official cast so much I wanted to make characters that would get to interact with them somehow, though I take great care in making sure they aren't TOO out of character with how they're canonically portrayed.

5) What's your thought process behind creating your OCs?

Honestly, it usually starts of something like this--

"lol wouldn't it be funny if I made this type of character? Oooh, what if they interacted with this character? Or this character? Or that character? Let's see, what's missing... Backstory and profile, check. Appearance, I'll sketch one in a bit. Hmmm... I know! *drowns the OC in mountains load of angst*"

6) What's your favorite chapter from the main story?

If I'm limited to talking only about the main chapters currently released on Global then it would have to be Fallen Star, mainly because it's Watanabe's time to shine~. (*´∀｀*)

However, if we were to look at the overall chapters, then, I would have to say Imprisoned Sight.

7) What do you think of the new Liv shown in the latest stream? Where do you think the story is going with her? What do you think happened to Gray Raven?

With Liv, I have a really bad and somber feeling about what Kuro Game has in store for her, given how she looks almost complete different than what she's looked so far, as well as the vibe her new look gives off.

Fuck, I wouldn't be surprised if they decided to thanos snap her memories away as well like they did with Lucia, or worse, infect her with the Punishing and turn her into an actual enemy (for a while before we get her back).

As for Gray Raven, considering what happened at the end of Evernight Beat, wherein the Skk is in a fucking coma with a chunk of the Mother Structure lodged in their abdomen, while Lee and Lucia are in repairs along with Liv, and, if I recall correctly, the Merciful One managed to reach Babylonia and is now onboard the space station as well-- I have a feeling that the despairing Liv will be approached by her and be given a new frame.

8) Have you seen the animated shorts? What do you think of them?

If you're talking about the Panini anime then yes, I've watched them already! Still ripping my insides open from laughter everytime I watch them lol. Favorite episode has got to be the toilet episode, next to that would be the episode where Chrome takes Kamui to Karenina and Liv for training.

9) So do Constructs eat or not? (I'm really confused, especially since I saw Karenina sipping a drink in one of the shorts)

Oh they most certainly can! Fuck, it's even explicitly stated that Camu likes to eat and sample foods whenever he can (revealed in his secrets, as well as his affection stories).

As Camu explains, while they don't get nutrients from human food, they most certainly can still enjoy them and use them as a type of fuel.

10) Do you think Kamui and/or Camu will be a really pivotal plot device at some point, considering how the information on Kamui is so top secret?

Hmmmm.... unless the story at that point is revolving around Kurono Ops and how shady they're being, then personally speaking, the chances are slim.

11) Do you think, at any point, any of the Gray Ravens will die off?

Naaaaaah. They won't do that. Sure, they TECHNICALLY killed off Lucia, but she's still "alive" in a sense, so it both counts and doesn't count.

Besides, sometimes death isn't the worse thing you can inflict on someone/a character~.

12) Who is your least favorite Construct, and why?

I don't really hate/dislike any of the Constructs if I'm being honest. Though I hate how shitty of a unit Sophia is, and that it's kinda pitiful that she's become even more useless now that the new S-Liv is here; but I am in no way saying you should stop using her, keep using Sophia if you really like her! It's your choice after all, and I'm not about to contest you on that part, after all, everyone's enjoyment is subjective.

13) What part of PGR's lore really holds your attention?

The part of the lore that really holds my attention are the characters, and seeing how they react and act to the situations happening to and around them, especially concerning the Punishing and forces out of their control~.

[babieyangyang10]

violent ends (chapter 11)

(chapter 11)

series masterlist

genre: hunger games!au

pairings: huang renjun x oc, na jaemin x oc

warnings: language, death, description of injuries, hallucinations, important character death,

previous | next

Athena's POV

It was quick the way he died. Before Haechan fell forward, his left eye cried tears of blood. There was nothing on his face, no acknowledgement or realisation of what just occurred. No evidence of any previous life in his face.

Just nothing.

People always say that your entire life flashes before your eyes once you die. However, there was not even enough time for that. No time to remember the eighteen years he once lived. He was just gone.

Mark Lee and I sprung forward. Once the corpse was thrown off him, Mark lifted up Jisung from the water. The young boy bent over and began coughing up the water in his lungs.

Once he finished, you could tell the reality of what just happened to him was sinking in. Frantically looking around, he saw Haechan laying face-down in the water, blood flowing out from his wound. Going pale, Jisung silently grabbed the body and flipped him over. He ripped his hand away and would've screamed if it wasn't for my hand covering his mouth.

Not used to injuries, Jisung was practically hyperventilating at the site of my throwing knife lodged in one of the body's lifeless eyes,

"Jisung, it's okay. Don't look at it." I brought my hand down and closed the remaining eye, thinking it would help. It didn't.

"Oh my god. What did you do?!" Jisung was about to throw up.

Mark looked around nervously, before saying, "She saved you. Quick, let's go." He grabbed the distressed boy's arm and pulled him to his feet.

After we had gotten a good distance away, I could hear the cannon go off.

"That could've been me." Jisung mumbled to himself in disbelief. He looked really bad. Almost as if he could go off the deep end any second. I mean, the kid has came to the brink of death twice in the span of only two days.

Trying to lighten his spirits, I suggest, "You're a lucky kid, aren't you?"

He considers my words before murmuring, "Yeah, I guess so."

Chenle's POV

I think I'm the unluckiest kid in the world, right now.

As the Careers and Jaemin start yapping away, I take this opportunity to look around the tree for something to help us escape. Alarmed, I look around where Jaemin is perched to see a raccoon sized nest. Swaying gently, I peek around to discreetly get a better look. Immediately, the bright gold body captures my eye.

No, these aren't just any wasps, they're tracker jackers.

Made in the Captiol's labs, they were placed directly in the districts during the war. Tracker Jackers were named according to their ability to 'track' down and hunt anyone who comes into contact with them. If they bite you, most likely you'll die. Even if you don't, most people will go mad from experiencing the hallucinations from the venom.

Our options are: we let Haechan come back and kill us or possibly die from these creatures. Reaching behind Jaemin, I discreetly began sawing away at the limb carrying the nest with my knife. Both Jaemin and the people below were too wrapped up in the conversation to notice what I was doing.

I kept sawing back and forth. Suddenly, a tracker jacker came calmly out of the nest. Holding my breath, I watch as it walks onto an unaware Jaemin's hand. Unable to warn him, I just speed up as quick as I can. More and more tracker jackers began leaving the nest to check out what was happening. Back, forth! Back, forth! Another jacker lands on Jaemin's shoulder.

Then there was a cannon.

The nest fell down right after. I could hear Jaemin yelp, however, I just pulled him out of the tree and bolt. I could hear the two Careers yelling above the buzzing from the army of angry wasps.

Once we've ran far from the chaos, I stopped to check on Jaemin. Right away, I noticed the plump-sized lumps on his neck and hand.

"I'm Jaemin," He slurs, "Nice to meet you, sir."

Oh my god.

Jaemin squints his eyes, trying to focus, "I have to admit. I've never met a three-headed, green person before. Are there others like you?"

It was almost dark, we have to get home, now. I grab him and began running again. Once we get to camp, I spot Mark, Athena, and Jisung all sitting down.

"Jaemin, got stung by tracker jackers!" I'm out of breath. Lee Athena immediately runs over to us, stopping in front of the disoriented boy.

"Athena, is that you?" His eyes are excited, but confused. The girl grabs his hand and quickly removes the stinger and does the same to his swollen neck. Green pus seems out from the now orange-sized bumps.

"I think-" His eyes roll over to the back of his head and Athena barely manages to catch him before he falls to the ground. Mark runs over and helps her carry him into the shack.

The next day, she took care of him. Every few hours, she would grind up a special leaf to put on the wounds.

She knew a lot about the wilderness. While Mark stayed to watch Jaemin, she would take Jisung and I out to practice hunting. It was nice learning, especially since I have always felt bad for relying on Mark so much. Not only does he have to take care of himself, but he also has to make sure two, weak kids don't die as well. After capturing a rabbit this morning, I felt happy knowing I got to help ease the pressure, even if it's just small.

"Good job, Chenle." He praised, making my heart swell. We were all sitting around the fire.

"I bet I'll get a even bigger one tomorrow." Jisung challenged, making us all chuckle.

Eventually, the conversation led to us talking about living in our different districts.

"Yeah, I swear all District 10 has is cows and desert. Although, I got to grow up with a lot of different animals, which was really fun." I explained.

"I wish I could see a desert, but we have that fence keeping us in District 11. Growing up, a lot of us had to climb trees in the orchards for fruit, which could be pretty fun. Although, it wasn't fun when you'd occasionally run into the tracker jackers." Jisung winced in remembrance.

"At least you guys have the orchards, District 12 is really small. When you turn eighteen, you work for the coal mines. Food is pretty hard to get also. To get grain and oil, I had to enter my name into the Reaping about forty times." We all gasped aloud  at Mark.

"I have a question that I've always wanted to ask," Jisung announced, "I've seen District 12 do that think with the three fingers so many times. What does it actually mean?"

"It's been around forever, I guess. It's a sign of love and respect to show thankfulness for someone or something. Sometimes we use it to say goodbye. That's what everyone did to me, when I left after the Reaping." Mark explained to him.

Jisung kissed his three fingers and held them up in the air, "Well, I love and respect all of you."

All four of us, Mark, Jisung, Athena, and myself, giggled and did the salute to each-other before heading off to sleep.

Athena's POV

It's now been two days, since Jaemin has first been stung. The swelling has gone completely down, however, he still has a bit of a fever and hasn't woken up.

The most nerve wracking part is that, until he wakes up, I can't feed him anything. I can't even give him water to drink. It's not like real life, where he would have a feeding tube. Even we were alone, we barely got anything to eat. Gosh, it really is so easy to die of hunger in here.

Today, the boys wanted to show off their new hunting skills to Mark. So, it was just Jaemin and I at the camp. Apart from Haechan, none of the other Careers have shown up in the sky so far. So, I have no idea if Renjun is the same way as Jaemin. However, his health shouldn't be of my concern, anyway.

Since they are just two members now, Mark and I have been discussing an attack on them. After he snuck to their territory, he saw that they have pilled up all the supplies. Protecting them are random mines, which, if you stepped wrong, could easily blow you up to pieces.

Instead of risking stepping on a mine by trying to fight them directly, we thought we should find a way to blow up the pile of supplies. That way, they'll starve themselves out.

Suddenly, I notice Jaemin stir. His eyes are confused and wide. He looks around his surroundings, before he sees me next to him.

"Athena!" His voice is excited and relieved, yet weak. His hand shoots out to grab mine.

I sigh, "You've been out for two days, you know."

"Are you serious?" He looks around again, "Wait, where are we?"

"We're at Mark's camp. Chenle brought you back." I said, knowing he probably doesn't remember anything.

I hear a pleasant beeping noise, which makes me nearly burst with happiness. Near our feet, a box drops. Inside is a container of warm soup and a spoon.

Knowing he was still in bad shape, I grab the spoon and scooped up some soup to feed to him. Smiling, he accepted the food. His eyes shut in delight, finally getting to eat a real meal.

He happily suggests, “You should eat some."

I know he hasn’t eaten for two whole days. This makes me feel warm, knowing that, even though he’s literally starving, he would still offer me it.

"I think Jisung and Chenle would kill me if I didn't eat what they catch,” I laugh before getting serious, “Besides, you really need it right now."

He’s disappointed, but still continues eating.

Concerned, I ask, "So, are you doing okay? I mean those hallucinations can be really messed up."

"I mean, apart from the trees turning into blood and thinking ants were eating me, I'm fine. Especially, since your here now." Jaemin laughs.

I shake my head, smiling at the ground.

"I mean it, though. I felt so bad after I lost you. If I had known you stopped, I would've gone back for you, Athena,” He stops me, “You know that right?"

"Well, I did have your supplies." I point out.

He provides clarity, "Supplies or not, you're still a priority to me. That's just not even a question at this point."

I felt a deep pang in my chest. There’s so many things I want to say. On instinct, with both of my palms, I hold his face in my hands,"If there wasn't cameras on us right now, I would-"

Jaemin breathes out, "Who's stopping you?"

His eyes darted down to my lips, then back up to my eyes. I checked his face to see if there was any hint of joking, yet his eyes were filled with warmth. It occurred to me that he was feeling the same need and want that I was. Like if I were in a black hole, I felt myself being pulled closer and closer into him.

"Hey Athena, look what I caught—oh,uh?"

Jisung, stares in shock, at the close proximity between Jaemin and I's faces.

I jump up, brushing myself off, "Come on, kid. Let's go see it."

Jisung brought me outside to see Mark and Chenle by the fire.

“Jaemin is awake.” I announced to the two boys.

“That’s really good.” I could tell Chenle had felt guilty about him getting stung.

Mark proposed, “Well, today I was thinking that we should go destroy the supplies.”

Chenle eagerly asked, “Can I help?”

“Well, I guess you could help us by starting fires with me to lead them away from the Cornocopia.” Mark turned to Jisung, “Jisung, could you stay with Jaemin?”

“What’s going on?” Jaemin popped his head out of the shack.

“We’re going to destroy Jeno and Renjun’s supplies.” I caught him up.

His eyebrows are furrowed, “Are you going?”

“Of course.” I nod, plainly.

After we ate, I headed into the shack to get my backpack. On the ground, Jaemin was looking up at me unhappily, completely different from how he usually looks at me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s just,” He sighs, “every time we’re separated, something bad always happens.”

“Well, you still need to rest, besides I’ll have Mark with me.” I lie. Mark will be separated from me, but I didn’t want to stress him out.

“You better come back. I’m serious.” He deadpans.

“Okay, Na Jaemin.”

I brush his hair out of his face. He’s not aware, but I can’t help but thinking the way he’s looking at me reminds me of a lost puppy, “I mean it.”

“I know.” I smile.

Then, Mark, Chenle, and I began heading towards the Cornocopia. As we’re walking, I notice Mark fiddling with something on his jacket.

“What’s that?” I ask, intrigued.

“It’s a mockingjay pin.” He states. The pin contained the small golden bird with an ring around it. It’s connected to the ring only by its wing tips.

Mockingjays were the result of a failed project by the Capitol to spy on the rebellious districts. Because of this, they have become a symbol for the rebellion. It’s almost as if they are rubbing it in the Capitol’s faces.

“I like it,” I beam up at him, “It suits you.”

“I think so too. It’s cool.” Chenle gushes.

Mark blushes before coming to a stop, “This is where we separate. Chenle, after I set the fire, wait a little before setting yours. That way they’ll think it’s real and definitely come to yours.

All alone, I hide beneath the trees as I come to a stop in front of the Cornocopia. Sitting to the right of the supplies, were a group of boys. Along with Jeno and Renjun, I spotted a boy from District 3. I’m assuming he’s Haechan’s replacement.

“Guy’s look!” Jeno points out. There, hidden in the tree’s, Mark has created a fire. The smoke created a cloud in the sky right above his position.

“Let’s go, Renjun. Guard the place, until we get back.” Jeno tells the young boy.

Once they’re gone, I grab into my backpack and pull out knife. Getting ready to throw, I rear back my hand.

However, from the left, a figure darts out from the woods. Avoiding the piles of buried mines, she is calculated and precise. From the pile, the red-head grabs an armful of supplies and runs past the District 3 boy.

As a result, he stood up and began chasing her into the woods. Perfect.

I scan the pile, looking for something I could knock down to trigger the mines. That way, I would be kept safe from the blast. At the very top is a bag of bright red and green apples.

Taking a deep breath, I throw a knife as hard as I can. It manages to make a rip in the bag, but not big enough for the fruit to fall through.

So, I grab another one. I calm myself down, before I launch my second one. Almost in slow motion, I watch as an single apple drops from the fresh hole. Rolling forward, it halts on top of one of the piles.

One after the other, all of the mines are triggered. Before I can react, I am thrown back by the incredible force. I can feel ash and debris raining down on my head. In my head and ears, I can hear a sharp buzzing. With my fingers, I could feel blood coming out of my left ear.

Running back from the woods, Renjun and Jeno meet the District 3 boy in the middle. I was able to see if Jeno had even said anything. Although, even over the buzzing, I could hear the crack of the boys neck after Jeno snapped it.

Alarmed, I run back into the woods to hide. Blinking, I could feel my sight and hearing slowly coming back.

“Help!” I hear a young voice. Wow, that was quick. The Careers already found another victim.

“Mark! Athena!”

Chenle!

I run, following the shouts. Not even caring if I was about to run face first into a planned trap. His shouts continue and I feel can feel the quick tempo of my heart.

When I force my way into a clearing, I spot the young boy entrapped in a net on the grown. He stops struggling and smiles in relief when he spots me in front of him.

However, it fades when the arrow lodges straight into his chest.

To my left, I look just in time to see Mark shoot an arrow into the neck of the other District 12 tribute. Using my knife, I quickly cut Chenle free from the net. Mark runs over, propping him up in his arms. Blood is seeping through his shirt. I look up at Mark, giving him a telling look.

“Is it bad?” He doesn’t have enough strength to look down. I don’t know what to say.

“I never imagined I would go like this.” His voice is shaky, but knowing.

The cannon for the District 12 girl goes off.

Chenle reaches for my hand, “Please, don’t leave me.”

With my free hand, I wipe some of his tears, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Did you blow up the supplies?” His voice is in a hopeful whisper.

“All of it.” He smiles at this.

Looking up at Mark and me, Chenle breathes out, “Thank you both. For protecting me. Even in these circumstances, these past days have been some of the best days of my life thanks to you.”

I feel my throat become choked up. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to get attached to these people, who are supposed to be my competition. But I did and I don’t regret any of it for a damn second.

There’s fear in his eyes, “You two, don’t forget me, okay?”

“Never.” Mark and I say.

Then he’s gone.

It takes a few minutes for it to sink in for the two of us. For us to realize this boy, who was speaking a few minutes ago and laughing with us yesterday, was gone forever. I look up to see Mark distraught with the same realisation, “It’s not fair. He was just a kid.”

“I can’t just leave him here. He deserves better than that.” I agree with Mark’s words. Looking around, I spot violet, blue, and white wildflowers. I began loading my arms up with the flowers. With Mark’s help, we placed the flowers all around him.

How dare they. It’s shameful that they would do this to an innocent child. Not just him, but all of us children.

Placing my arm on his shoulder, I try to comfort Mark. Like a switch going off, he bursts into tears. I know it has been hard, the weight of caring for three people. I wrap him in my arms and cry with him.

It’s only before we leave does he turn around suddenly. After kissing his three fingers, he held them out in his direction. Myself doing the same, we both say goodbye to our friend, Chenle.

[gingers-writing-blog]

What Did He Do This Time? - Sprace

Triggers: Arrest, Stealing, The Refuge, Bruises

Word Count: 1,550

Genre: Fanfiction, Canon-Era, Hurt/Comfort

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the year 1896, and out of the shadow of night, the morning is breaking over the picturesque water of the Brooklyn Docks; where a surprisingly awake Spot Conlon sits on the harbour wall, basking in the rays of dawn's early light reflected off the shimmering water.

He had wandered down quite early in the morning in his red shirt and suspenders because he couldn't sleep and, no one else knew this but, it was actually his favourite place to go before becoming a Newsie and he still loved it down there. It helped him think.

The reason he couldn't sleep was that he was worried about that Manhattan Newsie, Racetrack Higgins. He had got himself arrested the day before and he was currently in a holding cell in the Refuge. That laughably stupid Newsie took the blame for a younger kid, he thought that the kids' name was something like Elmer; anyway, the kid was caught stealing and Race took the blame.

Flashback ~The day before

Elmer's POV

"Buy a pape, miss?" I pleaded with my signature puppy eyes.

"She didn't even look at me. Why? That's what I want to know. She completely ignored me; I mean, she looked like she could spare a penny!" I thought, well I actually ended up muttering it quietly, like an old man who was done with life. 

As it turned out, a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed Newsie overheard me, while making his way back to the Lodging House.

"You'se alright, kid?" He asked.

"Yeah, I haven't had a good day for selling. Again..." I replied. I showed him how many papes I had left and he cringed slightly.

"Well, hows about I help you sell, just this once. And I might be able to show you some of my methods that have customers practically begging me to sell them a pape!" He offered, and I nodded quickly.

"I don't think I've seen you around, you new? Oh, I'm Race by the way." He asked.

"I'm Elmer. And yes, I'm new" I replied as he started walking away from me and signalled for me to follow him. 

"How old are you, kid?" He asked once we had arrived at the place he was taking me.

"11," I replied simply. Quite a few people that meet me are surprised to find out that I am 11, they always think I am 7 or 8 because I'm so small. There isn't enough food to go round at my house; what with 9 brothers and sisters to look after and feed, it is quite hard.

Race said that we could take full advantage of my height and the fact that I look a lot younger than I actually am. He said that I should go up to them and say, 'Buy a pape from a poor orphan boy, miss or mister'. He said that it was guaranteed to work as long as I looked sad or coughed or something. 

A few minutes had passed before a young girl, about my age walked past. She looked like she could afford to buy a pape, so I walked up to her and did exactly as Race said, well I smiled instead of coughed. She smiled at me and I was given a dime. She had such a pretty smile and I guess Race could see that I thought that, because when I turned and walked back towards him, he said,

"Ooooo, has Elmer got a crush?!?!?" I blushed a bit, but he just brushed it off, thank God!

"Anyway, nice technique! Right, the next method is flattery." Race showed me different ways of selling throughout the rest of that day, but even after I had sold all of my papes I still hadn't made enough money. 

When I don't make enough money, I have to steal food and sometimes money. I don't like doing it, but I have to, to survive and feed my family. 1 of my sisters and 2 of my brothers are sick and the money I make pays for medicine.

By the time Race had gone, I had found a stall selling bread outside the Lodging House and I decided that it was a perfect place; so I snuck up while the stall-keeper wasn't looking and snatched a loaf and started off down the street. I think the stall-keeper me because he shouted and started to chase me.

"Help! Thief! Stop kid!" He was yelling as he chased me. There was another adult in the street in front of me and he must've heard the man chasing me because he grabbed onto my collar and held me firmly.

"Let go of me! Please!" I cried.

"You're going straight to jail, kid. Or worse, the Refuge!" The man said once he had caught up with us. Those two words, the refuge, made me really scared. I had heard stories about the refuge and none of them were good. 3 boys to a bed with rats and vermin everywhere, kids starved and beaten; my father had always told me to steer clear of that place, but it seemed like I was well on my way there until...

"Hey! Let go of him!" I heard a familiar voice call out. I also heard a door open and the footsteps of people run down steps. I turned my head to see a big group of Newsies gathered outside the Lodging House, watching the entire scene play out. 

And there was Race, coming to my rescue. While he was teaching me earlier that day, we became quite good friends and I told him about my family and why I had to sell papes so he could figure out why I was stealing.

"Do you know this boy?" The stall owner asked him.

"Yes, as it happens, I do." Race said very matter-of-factly. "He's my little brother."

"Well, you can tell your little brother, that it is bad to steal and will earn you time in the Refuge." 

Race saw me flinch at the mention of the Refuge and, for some reason, said, "I told him to steal the bread! It's not his fault! Let him go and take me instead." 'Race! What are you doing?

"Either way, he's the thief and he deserves to go to jail."

"But, I'm the one who told him too! It's not his fault that he listens to me." I could tell the men were getting tired of this and I could see that Race knew that too.

"Fine. As long as someone pays for what they did, whether it was you or you." The man holding me said, gesturing to both of us. As Race walked towards us, the man let go of me and took the bread away. After he let go of me, he turned Race around and cuffed his hands behind his back. He was then, almost literally, dragged off the Refuge.

Before I knew it, tears were falling down my face and I started to run after Race, but I was held back by one of the other Newsies and I yelled,

"Race, I'm sorry, It's my fault!" That night I went home and all I could think of was Race taking the blame for me, if he was OK and the fact that he called me his little brother.

Spot's POV

"Hey, Spot!" I heard one of my Brooklyn Newsies call me.

"What is it, Roger?" I yelled down from my throne.

"It's that Racetrack Higgins!"

"What did he do this time?"

"He's been locked up in the Refuge!" With those words, I jumped down from my throne and asked him where he heard all this.

"Cowboy Jack's 'ere. He told me." I told him to bring Jack in and asked him what happened.

"Well, it was the new kid, Elmer, he was caught stealing a loaf of bread for 'is folks and when 'e got caught Race took the blame and got 'imself arrested. They took him to the refuge. Just thought I'd tell you, cuz I knows you is close to him."

After Jack left I spent the rest of the day, which to be honest wasn't that much time, thinking about my poor Racer in the Refuge.

What did they do to him? Is 'e OK? Should I break him out o' there? That was what I would be thinking when I was sitting on the harbour wall, watching dawn break over my city.

Suddenly, I felt two arms wrap around my slightly shivering body; I tensed, ready to lash out if I had to, and turned my head to see the handsome, although slightly bruised, face of none other than Racetrack Higgins! I turned my body around and held him tightly. Almost too tightly because he said in a slightly strangled voice,

"Spot...Spot... my ribcage!"

"How'd you get out?" I asked him after releasing him from my hug.

"I ran." He replied

"You ran!"

"Yeah of course I ran! There is more than 1 reason I earned the name Race, you know!" He laughed and I smiled and laughed back. I know it might sound sappy, but that was the happiest I had ever been in my life, seeing the beautiful face of my Racer again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N This one is quite old and it shows! Thanks for reading, please like and reblog. Have an amazing day!

[waterparchive]

Track By Track: ‘FANDOM’ with Waterparks

Brii Jamieson – October 21, 2019

Because who better to explain 'FANDOM' than the lads in Waterparks?

So now that we've all had a chance to listen to Waterparks' new album 'FANDOM' and properly mull it over and digest it, we thought that this would be an opportune moment to go through the album in more detail. But rather than us explaining the themes and nuances of the songs on the album, we asked Waterparks to talk us through each track on 'FANDOM'. Here we go.

01. ‘Cherry Red’ Awsten Knight: “I had another demo that I was doing of [‘Cherry Red’], and the file got corrupted. And I was like, ‘Fuck’. I couldn’t open it anymore, and dragged in all the pieces of audio, and just made new tracks of audio. I was going to try and rearrange it to the way I had it, but I pressed play and it sounded like ‘Cherry Red’ when it kicks in. I was just in my room like, ‘Oh shit!’ I was like, ‘Well that’s that’.

“That was fucking wild - but that’s the start to the best album in the world. It gives hints to the last song, because that last song goes, ‘So I must be dead’, and this one’s like, ‘You know I’d die for you’ - get it?”

02. ‘Watch What Happens Next’ Awsten: “‘Watch What Happens Next’ is me just being all, ‘Fuck y’all’. Not all of y’all, just like, a lot of y’all. Most of y’all. All of y’all!

“I overthink shit, a lot of shit. I’m in a band. I overthink being in a band a lot. And one of those things that I’ve overthought is how most other genres are able to celebrate their successes, and it’s a very looked-down-on thing in ‘band world’ to talk about most shit besides feelings. It’s really weird, and it doesn’t really make sense. It’s naïve to pretend that that’s the only thing that exists, and also kind of bad because it panders to people that are just stuck in this cycle of being fucking sad all the time. It makes for mopey high school kids - like me!

“It’s about, in the same regard, how bands aren’t allowed to experiment as much with music as other kinds of people. This isn’t me shitting on it - this is me saying we should be allowed to do it. But hip-hop albums that I really love are super fuckin’ artsy, and if a band were to do that it would be like, ‘What the fuck are y’all doing?’ because when a band switches up the tiniest little thing, [fans] are not about it at all. And it’s super dogshit, it’s very weird, and I think it holds the genre back as a whole, so it was a very frustrating thing for me. So I wrote about it, as I tend to do.”

03. 'Dream Boy' Awsten: “‘Dream Boy’ is about fan expectations. It’s about being built into something, based on an idealised version of you - an unwarranted one, at that - where people look at you as a certain thing. They see you online as, ‘Oh, he’s this and this and this’, and they put what they need you to be into their heads. It’s built into this thing that you cannot live up to, and it’s ultimately going to lead to disappointment - on their end, and my end, because it doesn’t feel good to let people down. But that’s just what happens. Pop banger, dude!”

04. 'Easy To Hate' Awsten: “That one was a ‘Friendly Reminder’ song actually, but it was just a really good song and everyone said I should keep it, and I was just like, ‘Yo, you’re right’. It’s about a break up. Yeah.”

05. 'High Definition' Awsten: “You guys are gonna make me cry by the end of this, and I’m gonna be like, ‘I hope you’re happy with this feature and you get your clicks’. Here we go.

“‘High Definition’ was the latest set of lyrics written for the album - it was the last thing. It’s about not being able to get close to people, because of what we do, being gone all the time. Or, you know, starting to have some kind of stature and not trusting the people who hit you up, because people may not have done so much before.

“There’s a song that’s all, ‘Back then hoes didn't want me, now I'm hot hoes all on me’ [Mike Jones’ ‘Back Then’] - but not in like a bragalicious way. It’s an, ‘I’m like really lonely, I hate all of this’, kind of way. It’s like that.”  

06. 'Telephone' Awsten: “‘Telephone’ was written when I was super fucking depressed - surprise - and I was at Target. I saw a cute girl at Target, and instead of being like, ‘Sup’ - I would have never done that anyway - I went home and wrote a super obsessive love song, and it was so tight.”

Geoff Wigington: “He called me and was like, ‘Dude, I’ve just seen the prettiest person at Target, I don’t even know what to do - I can’t find them now. I think I’m just gonna go home and write about it’.”

Awsten: “Did that happen?”

Geoff: “Yeah!”

Awsten: “Alright. Either way, I also don’t remember what they look like anymore. Because I saw the responses when I said that were like, ‘What does she look like, blah blah blah missed connection’, and I honestly don’t remember. It was like, January 2018. Yeah, so that song’s that.

“There’s another reason that it almost wasn’t on the album - the original version was kind of pop-punk sounding, and I was like, ‘Fuck that’. But the other reason is, I was trying to decide if it takes away from the album - but it doesn’t though. Because with some of the other themes of the album, it counts as the sugar-spike in [‘Fandom’]. Because when you’re dealing with some shit, you have hard ups and downs, and it’s kind of like a manic thing. It’s lodged between ‘High Definition’ which is a very lonely, isolating song, then you’ve got the ‘AAAAAAH!’ (we pretend that ‘Group Chat’ isn’t a thing for a second), and we have ‘Turbulent’. So it’s between those guys. That’s how it’s meant to be. It’s like, low - very high - very low.”

07. ‘Group Chat' Awsten: “Let’s talk ‘Group Chat’ dude.” [They literally just performed ‘Group Chat’ here. That’s the whole thing].

08. ‘Turbulent’ Awsten: “I was like, ‘I’m done with break up songs dude, I’m over it’. Then I got re-mad at some new shit. Then I was like, ‘You know what though, if we’re gonna do this, it’s gotta be crazy different from everything else, sonically and lyrically’, so instead of approaching it like, ‘Eh’, it was like, ‘Fuck you nerd, I’m way tighter than all of this shit’. Oh my god, and then sonically it was just so dark and shiny and fast, and I was like, ‘This is the best’. [‘Turbulent’] was the turning point for ‘Fandom’ - that was the first thing made after being like, ‘You know what, that one is not going to work, we’re gonna start over’. That was the first thing, and then I was like, ‘Oh, this is what we’re supposed to be doing, alright’.”

09. 'Never Bloom Again' Awsten: “That song has been in the process of being written since 2015. I’ve got real old versions of that. But the thing is, it just kept evolving - I kept doing new verses, and changing things in the hook and stuff like that. And there was a version of it that was ready around the time of ‘Entertainment’ - it wasn’t quite the same, but the reason it wasn’t on there was because I was like, ‘If it’s only 10 songs, there shouldn’t be two acoustic. That might be overkill’.”

10. 'I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don't Wanna Die Anymore' Awsten: “‘I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don’t Wanna Die Anymore’ is about missing having sex… but not wanting to die anymore. In the verses, I was just trying to talk directly to the fans - the first one that’s like, ‘Stop asking me that, don’t ask me that, I don’t wanna do that, I don’t wanna do that either’. It’s always somebody’s birthday. Always. But that song leaves nothing to be imagined… If somebody is like, ‘What’s that line mean?’, I’d be like, ‘Can you read?’. When I say all the lyrics in this album are a lot more blunt, this one is the perfect example of that.”

11. 'War Crimes' Awsten: “Oh. Bud-dy. Oh my lord. What a crazy song. Initially there was another version - or when I first started doing it, it was like a girly base and I was like, ‘Shut up Awsten! We’ve got way tighter shit to say’. It’s me venting about the past year and a half, but it’s like an overview of that time, and is just me bitching about all of it, because bitching is great.

“I mean, we’ve toured a lot, so we’ve experienced a lot with other bands. We’ve experienced a lot just with other people in general and how they are, and how they treat you when things suck - or when things are tight. Or how they treat me because I’m the singer, and he’s just the drummer!”

12. ‘[REBOOT]’ Awsten: “Oh man, that’s like the pettiest breakup song, but it’s so great. I sing so quick in that song, it’s really fun. I wanted that one to come out before [the album] because I worry when songs are towards the back of the album that they’re just not gonna be heard as much, and it’s just a little more sonically… I don’t wanna say low-key - but other songs slam, or I’m like screaming and shit. I wanted to make sure it got its highlight.

“And plus, shout out to those Marilyn Manson-sounding vocals in the chorus - because I didn’t want it to stay the same dynamically, but when we tried to make it go up it just sounded dumb. I was like, ‘Do you know what we have to do? We have to go gloomier. Just sink that bottom half with some real dark shit, some real minor stuff in there’. We made it sound just like Marilyn Manson and it was crazy, and I was like ‘there it is! Bop!’.”

13. ‘Worst’ Awsten: “‘Worst’ was written in March 2019. That’s a lie.

“‘Worst’ started the way most demos do - on the laptop. But then I got upset! And I went and walked to Starbucks and put it on YouTube one morning after seeing some stuff online, and left it unlisted for a minute because I knew our old label would be like ‘waaa’ about it. So I left it up for a minute on unlisted so if people had the link they could find it, but then I deleted the tweet. So I just let it circulate, and dude that shit had like 30,000 views, which back then was like, a lot - because that was back before ‘Entertainment’. Then they made me put it on private, because they found that and Felony Steve: rest in peace Felony Steve (he’ll be back). But then people kept re-uploading it, and one of them has like 400,000 something views right now, which is crazy. So I was just like, ‘I think I can do that song way fucking better’, and sonically it’s completely different now. Yeah, that song is fuckin’ tight. It’s one of the more genre-unique songs on the album.”

14. ‘Zone Out’ Awsten: “‘Zone Out’ came before ‘Dream Boy’ - it was stuck in my head for a long time, and finally I just recorded that chip-tune version of it, for me. But it was kind of ad-libby and shit. So once I got more of the lyrics together I did that. I was just listening to it on repeat because I was like, ‘This is so beautiful’, but then I was like, ‘You know what, this song should be like a full-on pop banger’, and then ‘Dream Boy’ happened. But it’s meant to be like a reflection at the end of the album, kind of like, after all this shit. And it’s kind of more shaky sounding, low… a little more sarcastic at that point.”

15. ‘I Felt Younger When We Met' Awsten: “What a fuckin’ hit. Yeah, that song, there was a version of it for ‘Friendly Reminder’, but it was just super light and it just didn’t do its job. I was like, ‘It’s just not impacting the way it needs to, so it needs to be rewritten’, and now it’s the fucking most insane intro on the entire album - oh my god. When we first got that at the studio, I was in the car with it and I was just like, ‘Woah’, turned it up way to loud, and just started it over when it got to the verse. So crazy.

“That song lyrically links back in to ‘Cherry Red’ - because it’s all meant to be very cohesive, even with the album art and stuff like that. Like the clock hands on the orange - that’s supposed to be the visual, and the ticking at the end represents that it’s about to start over again. Because it’s cyclical! Because guess what, dude? One of the fucking themes, part of the concepts of ‘Fandom’ is grief, and grief is a fucking loopy thing, it’s not a straight path - sometimes you gotta start over again. And you know what? The album did that: sonically, visually, conceptually. It’s a concept album, give us a five.”

https://www.rocksound.tv/features/read/track-by-track-fandom-with-waterparks

[the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog]

Race x Spot - “What did he do this time?”

A/N This is one of my one-shots from Wattpad. Enjoy!

~

Era: Canon

Ship: Sprace

TW: Stealing, Getting caught, the Refuge, Bruises, Broken ribs

Word Count: 1.5k

Genre: Hurt/Comfort ig

It was the year 1896, and out of the shadow of night, the morning is breaking over the picturesque water of the Brooklyn Docks; where a surprisingly awake Spot Conlon sits on the harbour wall, basking in the rays of dawn's early light reflected off the shimmering water.

He had wandered down quite early in the morning in his red shirt and suspenders because he couldn't sleep and, no one else knew this but, it was actually his favourite place to go before becoming a Newsie and he still loved it down there. It helped him think.

The reason he couldn't sleep was that he was worried about that Manhattan Newsie, Racetrack Higgins. He had got himself arrested the day before and he was currently in a holding cell in the Refuge. That laughably stupid Newsie took the blame for a younger kid, he thought that the kids' name was something like Elmer; anyway, the kid was caught stealing and Race took the blame.

Flashback ~The day before

Elmer's POV

"Buy a pape, miss?" I pleaded with my signature puppy eyes.

"She didn't even look at me. Why? That's what I want to know. She completely ignored me; I mean, she looked like she could spare a penny!" I thought, well I actually ended up muttering it quietly, like an old man who was done with life. 

As it turned out, a certain blond-haired, blue-eyed Newsie overheard me, while making his way back to the Lodging House.

"You'se alright, kid?" He asked.

"Yeah, I haven't had a good day for selling. Again..." I replied. I showed him how many papes I had left and he cringed slightly.

"Well, hows about I help you sell, just this once. And I might be able to show you some of my methods that have customers practically begging me to sell them a pape!" He offered, and I nodded quickly.

"I don't think I've seen you around, you new? Oh, I'm Race by the way." He asked.

"I'm Elmer. And yes, I'm new" I replied as he started walking away from me and signalled for me to follow him. 

"How old are you, kid?" He asked once we had arrived at the place he was taking me.

"11." I replied simply. Quite a few people that meet me are surprised to find out that I am 11, they always think I am 7 or 8 because I'm so small. There isn't enough food to go round at my house; what with 9 brothers and sisters to look after and feed, it is quite hard.

Race said that we could take full advantage of my height and the fact that I look a lot younger than I actually am. He said that I should go up to them and say, 'Buy a pape from a poor orphan boy, miss or mister'. He said that it was guaranteed to work as long as I looked sad or coughed or something. 

A few minutes had passed before a young girl, about my age walked past. She looked like she could afford to buy a pape, so I walked up to her and did exactly as Race said, well I smiled instead of coughed. She smiled at me and I was given a dime. She had such a pretty smile and I guess Race could see that I thought that, because when I turned and walked back towards him, he said,

"Ooooo, has Elmer got a crush?!?!?" I blushed a bit, but he just brushed it off, thank God!

"Anyway, nice technique! Right, the next method is flattery." Race showed me different ways of selling throughout the rest of that day, but even after I had sold all of my papes I still hadn't made enough money. 

When I don't make enough money, I have to steal food and sometimes money. I don't like doing it, but I have to, to survive and feed my family. 1 of my sisters and 2 of my brothers are sick and the money I make pays for medicine.

By the time Race had gone, I had found a stall selling bread outside the Lodging House and I decided that it was a perfect place; so I snuck up while the stall-keeper wasn't looking and snatched a loaf and started off down the street. I think the stall-keeper me because he shouted and started to chase me.

"Help! Thief! Stop kid!" He was yelling as he chased me. There was another adult in the street in front of me and he must've heard the man chasing me because he grabbed onto my collar and held me firmly.

"Let go of me! Please!" I cried.

"You're going straight to jail, kid. Or worse, the Refuge!" The man said once he had caught up with us. Those two words, the refuge, made me really scared. I had heard stories about the refuge and none of them were good. 3 boys to a bed with rats and vermin everywhere, kids starved and beaten; my father had always told me to steer clear of that place, but it seemed like I was well on my way there until...

"Hey! Let go of him!" I heard a familiar voice call out. I also heard a door open and the footsteps of people run down steps. I turned my head to see a big group of Newsies gathered outside the Lodging House, watching the entire scene play out. 

And there was Race, coming to my rescue. While he was teaching me earlier that day, we became quite good friends and I told him about my family and why I had to sell papes so he could figure out why I was stealing.

"Do you know this boy?" The stall owner asked him.

"Yes, as it happens, I do." Race said very matter-of-factly. "He's my little brother."

"Well, you can tell your little brother, that it is bad to steal and will earn you time in the Refuge." Race saw me flinch at the mention of the Refuge and, for some reason, said,

"I told him to steal the bread! It's not his fault! Let him go and take me instead." 'Race! What are you doing?

"Either way, he's the thief and he deserves to go to jail."

"But, I'm the one who told him too! It's not his fault that he listens to me." I could tell the men were getting tired of this and I could see that Race knew that too.

"Fine. As long as someone pays for what they did, whether it was you or you." The man holding me said, gesturing to both of us. As Race walked towards us, the man let go of me and took the bread away. After he let go of me, he turned Race around and cuffed his hands behind his back. He was then, almost literally, dragged off the Refuge.

Before I knew it, tears were falling down my face and I started to run after Race, but I was held back by one of the other Newsies and I yelled,

"Race, I'm sorry, It's my fault!" That night I went home and all I could think of was Race taking the blame for me, if he was OK and the fact that he called me his little brother.

Spot's POV

"Hey Spot!" I heard one of my Brooklyn Newsies call me.

"What is it Roger?" I yelled down from my throne.

"It's that Racetrack Higgins!"

"What did he do this time?"

"He's been locked up in the Refuge!" With those words, I jumped down from my throne and asked him where he heard all this.

"Cowboy Jack's 'ere. He told me." I told him to bring Jack in and asked him what happened.

"Well, it was the new kid, Elmer, he was caught stealing a loaf of bread for 'is folks and when 'e got caught Race took the blame and got 'imself arrested. They took him to the refuge. Just thought I'd tell you, cuz I knows you is close to him."

After Jack left I spent the rest of the day, which to be honest wasn't that much time, thinking about my poor Racer in the Refuge.

What did they do to him? Is 'e OK? Should I break him out o' there? That was what I would be thinking when I were sitting on the harbour wall, watching dawn break over my city.

Suddenly, I felt two arms wrap around my slightly shivering body; I tensed, ready to lash out if I had to, and turned my head to see the handsome, although slightly bruised, face of none other than Racetrack Higgins! I turned my body around and held him tightly. Almost too tightly because he said in a slightly strangled voice,

"Spot...Spot... my ribcage!"

"How'd you get out?" I asked him after releasing him from my hug.

"I ran." He replied

"You ran!"

"Yeah of course I ran! There is more than 1 reason I earned the name Race, you know!" He laughed and I smiled and laughed back. I know it might sound cringey, but that was the happiest I had ever been in my life, seeing the beautiful face of my Racer again.

[poeticsandaliens]

Magic Numbers

Pairing: Debbie Ocean x Lou (Heist Wives; fight me on that)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: The numbers tattooed on Lou’s arm are milestones and memories, most of which involve Debbie in some romantic capacity. 

Someone on this site noticed Lou’s tattoo and wondered what it meant (@awomanontheverge I think), and so I made something up to supplement the lack of information. 

Find it here on AO3.

Lou sauntered lazily about the beach house in a robe that Debbie Ocean was definitely wearing the night before. She leaned against the kitchen counter, snapping spearmint gum and sipping coffee untainted by the bulk box of Splenda in the pantry. The mug literally had her name on it—Daphne’s idea, and since it was Daphne’s house they were invading, no one protested the labeled coffee cups. (Secretly, she liked the gaudy purple lettering. She liked the idea that certain things are hers and hers alone.)

“Yo.”

She looked up to find Constance standing in the doorway, toothbrush lodged between her teeth, beanie askew. The kid eyed her expectantly.

“What?” Lou raised an eyebrow.

“Nothin.’ Thought I heard someone awake.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s just early, that’s all,” Constance shrugged.

Lou’s skepticism multiplied. Constance was a notoriously heavy sleeper, and she’d never seen her awake before noon. Her watches read five AM and six AM respectively, but since Daylight Savings, the six AM watch was correct. “What’re you doing up?”

Constance grinned. “Surfing.”

Holding her coffee to her chest, Lou looked her up and down—oversized t-shirt, hat, sneakers. No surfboard in sight. “You sure about that?” she challenged.

Constance lifted her hands and backs away. “Chill, alright,” she said, palms to Lou. “I gotta change first. I didn’t say I was leaving right this second, Mom. ”

Lou rolled her eyes and downed the rest of her coffee.

“Besides, what are you doing awake?”

Lou smirked. “Can you keep a secret?” That got Constance’s attention. Lou watched her eyes widen as she slid across the kitchen floor and leaned into the older woman’s personal space.

“Yes,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

Lou narrowed her eyes. “No you can’t. No dice, kid.”

Constance groaned. “Fine. There is no secret, is there?”

“God no.” Of course there wasn’t—Lou didn’t have secrets. Secrets dangled over people’s heads and lent her private life unnecessary drama. If she didn’t want people to know something, she simply didn’t tell him, and she never made them ask.

Constance huffed and made to leave, but before she could slip out the kitchen door, something caught her eye. She looked down at Lou’s wrists, then up at her impassive expression, then back down again. “What’re those numbers?”

Lou glanced down at her forearm. Those numbers, spiraling down her forearm in an easily overlooked tattoo.

“15, 6, 23, 11,” Constance read aloud. “That from a fortune cookie or something?”

“They’re dates,” Lou said, because the truth was definitely better than the absurd notion that she’d etched her lucky numbers into her skin for eternity.

“Okay. Well there were only three last time I saw it.”

“I added that last one after the Met heist.”

Constance eyed the ink for a moment before meeting her eyes. She folded her arms over her chest, pint-sized and defiant, staring Lou down. “You wanna talk about it?”

Lou sighed and checked her watches again. “Why the hell not?”

“Sweet.” Constant clapped her hands and hopped onto the counter, dangling her legs over the corner. “I like stories.”

“The first one is the day I left home. November 15th, 1990. I’d finally saved up the money for a one-way ticket to Melbourne, worked there for a couple years, and then got another ticket to New York.”

“Why’d you leave?”

Lou ignored her. There was only so much she’d say to Constance. The rest only Debbie knew, and some things weren’t even for her ears. “The second one is the date of my first real hustle. August 6th, 2002. I rigged high stakes blackjack in Atlantic City. Fifty thousand dollar payout.”

Constance whistled.

“Doesn’t compare to a hundred and fifty million, though,” Lou reminded her nonchalantly. “The third one is the day Debbie got out of prison. March 23, 2018. I drove her back to the ballroom loft, and we danced for hours to all the music she’d missed.”

“What’s the newest one?”

“July 11, 2018. I was sitting in a diner in some rest-stop town between Los Angeles and the Valley of Fire. I ordered a Godawful omelet, and I was about to dive into it when a jet black Maserati pulled up. Debbie got out the driver’s seat. I hadn’t heard from her in a month, and I don’t know how she found me, but she sat down across from me in the booth and said, 'I love you to the moon and back, and I'm sorry it took me so damn long.'”

“Awwwww,” Constance crooned. “Damn, I love happy endings.” She hopped off the counter and waved as she marched out the kitchen door. “Cool tattoo. I’m gonna go surfing.”

Lou rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t wipe the friendly little smile from her lips. Constance was a lot some days, but she meant well. She lifted her watch to check the time and—

“Shit.” Only the five AM watch remained.

                                                *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

“Two years,” Tammy sighed in disbelief, shaking her head and sipping from a flute of champagne.

“You can’t do that until we toast,” protested Daphne. “To the second anniversary of me puking my guts out at the fucking Met Gala for thirty eight million and some friends.”

Tammy rolled her eyes spectacularly. “Well we can’t have a proper toast without Amita and Debbie, and I want my champagne.” She turned to Lou (of course she did.) “Where is Debbie; I thought she’d be here by this morning?”

How would she know? Debbie’s ‘on time’ had always been an hour late. Just because they were an item, people seemed to think she’d know where Debbie was at all times. Hah. As if anyone but Debbie decided where Debbie was going.

“Beats me.” Lou sprawled in a sleek adirondeck chair on Daphne’s ocean-view balcony. The party seemed to have gathered around her, everyone present and smelling of sea-salt. Everyone except Debbie, who’d sent a mass text promising she was just picking up hors d’oeuvre and desserts on her way. At the promise of food, no one had complained.

Lou fiddled with her watches. Constance had disappeared yesterday after their conversation in the kitchen, and she’d waited until this morning to demand the return of her second wristwatch.

“Well,” declared Rose, “I would like to be inebriated by the end of the evening, so I’m drinking my champagne.”

“Seconded,” Nine Ball said, and gulped down her flute. “Debbie and Amita will live.”

Lou held the fizzling glass in her hand. She supposed she would wait for Debbie, not out of moral obligation but because she and Debbie were responsible for the heist that set them all for life, and it seemed fitting to them to drink together. They always drank together, whether they were celebrating, drowning sorrows or making heady love on their sofa while Law & Order reruns droned in the background. It was a tradition, one of the many little things that kept her grounded.

“Gee, thanks for waiting. Knew we could count on you guys.” Debbie’s voice rang through the beach house. Her heels clicked across the floor—apparently, she’d decided tonight was a special occasion worth stilettos and a slick black dress that made Lou do a double take. Both of them laden with grocery bags, Debbie and Amita stepped onto the patio and took in the sight of them all, and their obnoxious excess of wine and Dom Perignon.

“Snoozers are losers,” said Constance, holding up her empty glass.

Debbie fixed Constance with her best (and not particularly intimidating) glare. “I can’t believe you want to be drunk for this.”

Daphne held up her hands in mock surrender. “I withheld for my manners,” but Debbie ignored her.

“Why wouldn’t we want to be drunk?” Nine Ball was half-way through pouring herself a glass of white wine. “Second anniversary of the greatest heist ever executed.”

“Drop the bags and have a drink.” Lou handed Debbie her glass. “You seem tense, darling; did you have a run-in with FoodMart security?”

With a resounding clunk, the bags of food fell beside Debbie’s feet. “Baby, I’m insulted. I bought this food.” She grinned. “Why steal cupcakes when you can steal diamonds?”

Constance let out a “whoop!” of approval and snatched the cupcake bag.

“All right,” said Lou with a Cheshire-cat smile. “I suppose it’s time to toast your brilliance once again.”

Debbie eyed her teasingly. “Oh, that’s what you thought you were toasting to?”

“What the hell else is there? Did you steal another dynasty’s worth of diamonds on the way here?” Honestly, she wouldn’t put it past Debbie Ocean to mark the anniversary of a heist with a plan for a better one.

Debbie grabbed a cupcake and shoved half of it into her mouth. “No,” she mumbled through hot pink frosting, “but we did borrow one of the diamonds we already have.”

A high-pitched gasp came from behind her, and Lou turned to see Daphne cup her hands to her mouth and her eyes grow rounder than quarters. “I thought we sold all the diamonds from the Toussaint,” Lou said suspiciously.

Debbie fished around her sweater pocket. “No—” she grunted, finally shedding the sweater and shoving two hands into the oversized pocket. “I kept one of my share.”

More little gasps of realization, and from Constance and Amita, the sneakiest looks she’d ever seen. “What the hell is—”

She turned back to find Debbie on one knee, with a glamorous, expertly stolen Toussaint diamond in her palm, fitted into the silver band of a ring. Oh. She flashed back to yesterday in the kitchen, Constant grabbing her wrist and pulling the tattoo towards her, keeping her focused on the story, wrapping her thumb around Lou’s ring finger. She must have had a string in her hand, or something to take the size. She remembered Debbie texting them, saying she’d pick up Amita at the airport in LA, stay overnight there, and then drive to the beach house. Shit. She was losing her touch if she hadn’t seen this coming, but it didn’t matter. Not now, when there was Debbie fucking Ocean, proposing to her on the deck of their ex- mark ’s beachside mansion.

“Lou—”

“Jesus. Yes Debs, God yes. I’ll marry you in an instant.”

Debbie’s grin could put the sun out of business. She got to her feet and slid the massive crystal onto Lou’s hand. “I’m overjoyed, but you have to let me finish. You have been my literal partner in crime for fifteen years now. And yes, I was in prison for five of those years, and it took me until I got out to realize I was gone on you, hopelessly, pathetically in love with you, but through everything, you’ve been my one constant. The thought of you kept me sane in the slammer, and you’re the reason I’m not back there right now. You are alive; you’re alive like nobody I’ve ever seen before. You’re vibrant and breathtaking, and ever since you roared into my life on that motorbike I’m never letting you go.”

She was absolutely, positively not going to cry. Lou did not cry. She trembled a little; her eyes glistened, and finally she pulled Debbie forward and kissed her with everything she had. And then she cried, but just barely. (Debbie would be the death of her, and she didn’t mind one bit.)

Debbie sniffled, and Lou couldn’t help but feel like she was holding a bird in her embrace, slight and willowy but immensely powerful.

“Plus,” Debbie added smugly, wrapping her arms around Lou’s shoulders and clinging to her, “the sex is amazing.”

Amita made a face. “Keep it to yourself. But congratulations, I’ve been ready to burst trying to keep this secret, even if it was only for a couple days.”

“Who else knew about this?” Constance asked as she downed another round of champagne. She raised her hand, and Lou let her gaze flick about the crowd. Amita’s hand went up, and then—surprise—Nine Ball.

“Nine Ball?” Debbie seemed surprised as well.

“Your search history gave it all away. A girl doesn’t Google wedding band styles because she’s bored.”

“I knew something fishy was going on when you told us you’d be late, but I thought you were planning another job,” Tammy admitted. “Does this mean we can have a proper toast now?”

“Yes!” Daphne snapped her fingers impatiently and reached for the cooler full of wine. She filled any empty glasses and then raised hers to the sky. “To Lou and Ocean finally getting married. Instead of just acting like it.”

Nine Ball cackled. “Amen.”

“Cheers!” Rose called, clinking a full bottle to everyone’s glasses. A collective silence filled the patio while they paused to drink, excepting the raucous screams of gulls and the crash of waves on the beach.

Watching their team celebrate, Lou tucked a strand of Debbie’s espresso-dark hair behind her ear. “I love you to the moon and back,” she whispered in her ear.

Debbie unsuccessfully suppressed an ear-to-ear smile and slipped her hand into Lou’s. Her thumb brushed the diamond, and Debbie bit her lip as her cheeks flushed warmly. “You’re going soft on me,” she whispered back. A pause. “I love you too.”

The next day, Lou added another number to her tattoo. 15, 6, 23, 11, 9. The 9th of May, 2020, when Debbie Ocean got down on one knee and asked her to be her wife in crime.

[riverdaleroundup]

Riverdale Roundup: 2x05 “ When A Stranger Calls”

Alright here I am once again, watching this damn show almost a week late. I honest to god don’t really remember what happened last time.

Oh right the Black Hood gave Betty a call and was like “ Hey girl, it’s me. Ya boy”. And he’s all like your sisters Uterus is FULL of sin so like if you don’t behave i’m going to kill that bish.” Alice comes in and assumes Betty is on the phone with her boyfriend like a normal girl instead of a mystery psycho killer and is like okay “ I pretended to like your boyfriend for like 3 minutes but honestly you should dump him. “

The writers remember that Betty and Archie are supposed to be freinds and they walk to school together and Betty is like I have tea to spill. Archie is like “you gotta go to the police” and Betty is like” nah i’m good. I’m fifteen and a grown up so like I can handle a literal murderer.”

So the Lodge family is gathered in Daddy's study and plotting about getting some other richie rich family to give them money for their SoDale(?) project and i’m like I STILL don’t know what the fuck that is.

Jughead meets up with the cast off B league teenage string of the South Side Serpents and it’s confirmed to me that Dilton confirmed did stab himself like a little attention seeking whore. I was unsure about that. So the Serpents think that the next reasonable step after the rumble at midnight with the Riverdale high school Bulldogs is to blow up a LITERAL building. That makes good sense. The slithery little snakey snakes are all like “ we aren’t the bad guys and to prove it to you we’re going to blow up the local newspaper with a pipe bomb our bros cousin made in his garage.”

Veronica starts going off about her old life with this Nicky bish back in nam where they went on crazy adventures and stayed up all night and i’m like oh last year? When you were 14?

Jughead rolls up to the South side Serpent bar and is like ‘okay i’m in put me in the gang’, and they’re like “ okay but first we’re going to haze you like you’re a pledge at Alpha Sigma Phi at Centeral Florida State University. “

The black hood is all like “Betty publish this story about your mother and her past on the south side” but like he literally sends her a newspaper clipping from back in the day. So don’t people already know about this? Why is it a big deal? Riverdale is small and gossipy as we’ve already seen so like did no one read the newspaper that day or did Alice gather them all up and burn them before anyone got their morning paper from their doorstep?  

The Sinclairs roll up and “ Nicholas” as Veronica calls him at least 11 times in the span of this 45 second scene is like “ this hotel sucks” and Veronica is like “ The five seasons is lovely.”  So this is supposed to be a play on the four seasons which are VERY fancy hotels. In what world would a town like Riverdale have anything close a four seasons or anything close to the kind of apartment that the Lodges live in? Nicholas should be complaining about having to stay at a Best Western or as this show would probably call it a Best Eastern or some bs like that, because that is far more plausible and riverdale is nothing if not completely plausible. So where do I know this Nicholas guy from?  Okay so I JUST discovered that his name is St. Clair and not Sinclar. Fucking sue me. I’m not going back to change it. that’s just too much work and I literally could not care less. He was that kid DJ in XOXO and in Staten Island summer. Oh shut the fuck up he was in 13! The musical. That’s fucking hilarious. Mirder me.

So Alice (whose bangs are once again different and I can’t handle it omg pick a style and stick to it) is all like Betty did you write this letter yourself for attention you sneaky little bish. Honestly it’s not going to shock me if the person who is calling Betty isn’t the real black hood and just someone fucking with her. How iconic would it be if it was Cheryl being like “ you threatened me in the bathroom so now i’m going to ruin your whole fucking life”. That would honestly make sense. So either Alice or Betty are getting Black Hood notes from a copy cat. OR there are two blackhoods. Who the hell knows?

Archie is in his bedroom pumping iron because you know he’s a man.

Jughead is trying to learn the serpent pledge and honestly shouldn’t it just be like “ I promise to share and be a friend” ala the girl guides. That’s so much simpler. So Jughead has to take care of hot dog and get spat on while what’s his face screams in his face and to top that all off he has to put his hand in the Rattle snake enclosure and i’m like okay i’m out. No gang for me. Toni calls Jughead Juggie and honestly i’m cringing.

Betty keeps coming for her mother and i’m like chill bish.

Veronica, Nick, and Archie are hanging out in her bedroom and it’s the strangest trio ever. Veronica turns down a line of coke because she’s too full from eating copious amounts of pasta at dinner i’m sure.

If Betty could change her ring tone I would be like SUPER grateful. Okay thanks.  She finds out she would recognize the face under the hood and i’m like no shit don’t like 11 people live in this town? The black hood is like “ I’m your only friend so cut Veronica loose” and not going to  lie that’s totally something I would do.

Jughead and Betty greet each other like they’re coming back from war in the middle of Pops dinner and they both just sit across the table from one another and feed each other lies. So healthy. So not annoying.

Nick is throwing a party and Cheryl is like fuck you all i’m coming to this thing. She’s Riverdale’s “ Resident IT girl” and she wants EVERYONE to know it.

It’s like three minutes into the party and Nick is like “ you’re friends are boring let’s all get high” and Veronica is like let’s pretend to be normal and i’m like  is it normal that 15 year olds get high in hotel suite off pixie stick esque mystery drugs?

Betty tears Veronica a new asshole and is honestly SUPER harsh but honestly pretty honest and i’m like Betty did you have to be so brutal? But whatever. Into it.

Toni rolls up to warn Jughead about joining the gang but all I could focus on was the dog in the background.

Nick is coming on to Veronica and she’s like lol we’re friends, no bro. Then he’s like “listen up bitch. If you don’t blow me i’m going to tell my daddy to tell your daddy to go fuck himself.” So like yikes.

The black hood is like defs not #Teambughead and is like okay Betty dump him. She’s like shit, and basically begs Archie to break up with Jughead for her and I would be judgy but I once made my sister quit my job for me so like bitches in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

So Alice rolls up to this gala in a very TS style fashion owning the snake label in a romper that basically goes down to her belly button. She promptly tells her good for nothing husband to shut up and continues to act as if she owns the place. I love it.

Nick is like “ omg so sorry for trying to blackmail you into sleeping with me V. I’ve been to rehab btw” and Veronica is like “ Okay we can be BFFs again. Let’s drink some ginger ale.”

Archie breaks up with Jughead for Betty in front of his whole new posey and it’s ice cold. The Serpent's proceed to beat the living shit out of Jughead and i’m like cute. Best way to gain loyalty from your new member.

Nick and Cheryl are chatting and it’s going well until he’s like “ hmmm she seems into me. Guess I’ll roofie her.” Like what the actual fuck you monster?

Josie and the Pussycats + Veronica  decide to pull out a cover of a song from Rent and i’m like i’m not mad but why? It just seems like such a random choice.  They note Nick taking a clearly fucked up Cheryl “ out for some air” and i’m like are you not in a literal tent?

They run through the halls of the 5 seasons and discover a master set of keys because all hotels just leave those hanging around. They rescue Cheryl and beat the living shit out of Nick which like good on you but that’s like super illegal and he’s so the type to lawyer up with Daddys money.

Black Hood tells Betty to go to this abandoned house to find out who he is and i’m like bitch this is SUCH a bad idea. Obviously he was never going to tell her who he is. Like what did she expect she’d put the mask on turn around and be like “ OLD MAN SMITHERS!” like this is some Scooby Doo type shit? Clearly not you silly bish.

Okay so we all gather around Cheryls bedside and Archie is ready to go FULL red circle on Nick and honestly betty is almost just sitting there like “ why am I here?”

Toni and Jughead admire his new tattoo while he ices his now fucked up face and then suddenly they're making out and i’m like okay murder me i’m not here for this.

Black Hood is like “ Betty what the fuck you’ve been telling Archie we’ve been wheeling! That’s so rude. I’m going to murder your whole family if you don’t give me the name of someone to murder” and she’s like “ Nick the would be rapist” and black hood is like “ yas good one. We are totes twins.”

Boom. Episode over. There’s a new episode in like two days so like a bitch will be back.

[floggingink]

Riverdale: “Chapter Eleven: To Riverdale and Back Again”

the 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Josie and the Pussycats serenade Riverdale High students like three angels of the Lord appearing to them over the intercom, and the glory of Grade A Dark Amber shown around them, and they were terrified

Josie’s ombre pink braids? good morning

Jughead doesn’t have a homeroom? OR A HOME?

can you believe Cheryl can honestly hike her leg up like that fantastic statue of Venus where she’s busting it all out? meanwhile, Veronica, touching up her lip liner like it’s NOT all happening behind her

What damn high school in America: Principal Weatherbee won’t even let Betty delegate physically putting up the Homecoming decorations? cold

Certified pedigree: Archie’s mom, MOLLY RINGWALD, is staying over for a few days out of concern for her son’s happiness and/or safety in Riverdale. A) they are not showing us the implied scene where she says she doesn’t want to “kick Jughead out of the guest room” only to be told that Jughead isn’t sleeping in the guest room so much as he’s sleeping in Archie’s room. B) THIS is MOLLY RINGWALD’S first outfit? morally questionable. a very strange sweater. it isn’t a crew neck, it isn’t a turtleneck, and the color is this off-peach white-person that bleeds too uncannily into her neck, and she has on a lot of blush...her liner is darker than her lips...maybe she is still experimenting, like in Sixteen Candles

Archie correcting her to say “songwriting” as opposed to just “singing,” like in the pilot when he said he wasn’t writing “poems” but rather “song lyrics”

how do we feel about Veronica’s growing obsession with all things her father? how he’s turned into an omnipresent yet unseen, merciful-cum-wrathful god in her life, giveth and taketh away, betraying and bestowing upon the Lodge women, both the reason they had to flee and the solace they gather around in the evening, charming and infecting all people, places, and things Veronica has in her life? because I love it

speaking of fathers, SKEET ULRICH has shaved

he appears to have some very wholesome travel postcards magnetized to the fridge, and I think a Crock-Pot. and an EXTREMELY RESPONSIBLE bowl of fruit on his little kitchen table

FP…….asked to read Jughead’s WIP…....to see how much Jughead knows…….he is……..COLD!!!!!! bow down, Weatherbee, in the presence of a master!

A) Jughead hasn’t titled it yet, the twit

B) FP does some incredible parenting, for sure, calling it “EXCELLENT” (while wearing his wedding ring on his middle finger? COLD!!!!!), saying Jughead has “A GIFT,” which is par for the course required feedback for your high school child’s creative writing, which always sucks, no matter how good it is, proportionally, it always sucks, but you say it’s excellent because you know one day they’re going to end up in a college workshop and they’ll be torn to pieces and they’ll need to be able to go back in their headspace to a safe place and it’ll be you, their father, telling them two years ago that they had “a gift, thank god you’re not wasting it”

C) FP adds one packet of sugar to his 16-oz., EDGY!!!!! can one packet even sweeten anything??? hahahaha I add like six!!! I have an addiction!!!! just like FP!!!

D) “It’s like he chose me.” SHUT UP JUGHEAD

E) FP is not interested in his son’s choosing a thematic focus on Riverdale over plotting, would like a suspect list from the POV of Jason’s peers, who seem to be making much further headway on his death than the cops

F) “Can I make a suggestion?” “That’s what Betty says. And then it turns into a dozen suggestions.” classic workshop couch-phrasing, “a suggestion,” Betty is the editor we all need

Summer + Blair = Veronica: Veronica calls it “a moment” too, like Jughead! GOD BLESS!!!

okay, they DID NOT have sex, like my eyes told me they did. they “crashed in separate beds.” I PLAYED MYSELF

magenta, again, is a FANTASTIC color on Veronica

Archie is “boyfriend material” now? is Veronica huffing glue?

I use Veronica’s “bandwidth” analogue a lot, mostly in regards to making excuses for not calling my mother back, but I say “RAM.” pros/cons? am I old?

I googled it and it looks like bandwidth is data use and RAM is like the space for data use

Betty’s see-through floral collar is just a little bit of heaven

Alice looks awesome! her lace-lined V-neck sweater, almost-trumpet skirt no one looks good in, pinkest pink cardigan!

“Oh my god, mom.”

Joaquin is a “gay greaser serpent”

“which is why I have prepared a seemingly innocuous list of questions”

the Blossoms appear to have a Turner painting of a forest hanging outside the Wig Room

in any other world, the patriarch wearing wigs to hide his grey hair would be a mildly amusing side-note, but on Riverdale it’s like, CLIFFORD IS WEARING RED WIGS. DID HE FREEZE HIS SON’S BODY? POST YOUR ANSWERS ON BLACKBOARD

“If you want to go after Jughead’s dad, I’m in.” I changed my mind. I love Jughead and Veronica not being friends. I CHANGED MY MIND

Cheryl’s black furry jacket!

Betty deserves “nightmare Smurfette.” she does. it’s okay, it’s just that she does deserve it. it’s okay

Gay?!: “co-queens,” CO-QUEENS!!!!

Archie is like, WHOOOOAA, Betty, no??? you don’t want me to? holy—

Archie can’t believe Veronica led him into this deserted science classroom to talk about...the murder investigation. remember three weeks ago, when he knew nothing? he misses those times

Veronica doesn’t really care about Jughead being collateral damage! she acknowledges it abstractly but doesn’t really care!!! MY SLYTHERIN PRINCESS

MOLLY RINGWALD wears a verrrry interesting pine green bathrobe-robe to “pick up” Fred for some lunch that do a lot better things for her coloring than her sweater

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: subtle dig at Hermione with “working for Fred” as opposed to “with” him? or more likely it’s that Fred used that particular preposition talking about her before

Hermione has brought up being a “mean girl in high school” and this being payback before, I think it was in the interview with Fred in the first episode?

why is Betty PHYSICALLY putting up the decorations? surely she has bureaucratic minions to do the literal heavy lifting

PAUSE to reflect on the fact that Polly gets a DAILY MILKSHAKE

………“sleeping quarters”

like they’re racehorses or something??? or on the Titanic? SLEEPING QUARTERS?

“Damn good coffee”:  surely EVERYONE welcomes back Scheming Alice Cooper, baking a peach pie for her character, information-gathering “date,” information-gathering “date,” all the Cooper girls do this

I would not put it past her to be sprinkling some truth-serum shit ONTO the pie, like Charlotte Charles and her homeopathic mood enhancers on Pushing Daisies

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: Alice uses lonely, family-starved Jughead as a round-faced pawn in her game of Get FP and it takes but the merest flexing of this fact in Betty’s face to get Betty to back off

pepperoni and red pepper pizza IS AMAZING, but you know what is even more amazing? green peppers and mixed Greek olives. check it out, Arch

Mary’s hair in the kitchen lighting is this incredible, almost purple-undertone red

Mary has politely not said anything about A) Jughead still wearing his beanie despite being, now, sixteen B) Jughead SLEEPING ON ARCHIE’S FLOOR

JUGHEAD’S FACE when he nods at Archie to get him to agree to like giving permission for his parents to come to the dance, like, Dude, yeah

Fifth period is AP English: I love whatever “So the worm turns” means, even though it’s possibly the creepiest idiom in English (not sourced), and of course it’s in Jughead’s repertoire

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: Episode 11 has blessed us with the true mystery surrounding Riverdale: Jughead’s hair routine. clearly the boy uses a styling mousse after showering and blow-dries it upside down with a round brush to achieve THAT level of bounce and manageability

the female gaze: Archie sleeps shirtless even in this, the dead of an autumnal winter (October)

CAN YOU BELIEVE??!?!!! HOW QUICK ON THE UPTAKE ARCHIE IS ABOUT FP! damn! like damn!!!! “Maybe you should wait” is good enough, like WHOA!, but he totally knows, from Veronica’s prompting hours before in the back of his mind, when Jughead says FP asked to read what’s basically a parallel investigation of the Jason Blossom murder, it AAALLLLL COMES TOGETHER FOR ARCHIE. Archie has never felt this feeling before!!! I’m so proud!!!

Jughead doubts it: Jughead was right about the rendezvous, but he didn’t know it was A RENDEZVOUS FOR MURDER

Veronica was rich: God, the art around the Lodge apartment is SO bland. PLEASE

Archie is going to DO the same thing as Veronica, the snooping, but from a place of PROTECTING Jughead, the opposite as Veronica, which is a spicy cocktail of trouble

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: of course Cheryl and Polly wear kimonos while putting on makeup

of course Cheryl says “fur-reek”

those red lacquer jewelry boxes!!!!

I KNEW THE RING WOULD BE BACK!!!!!!! NANA ROSE!!!!

“Hands off, Gollum.”

the Blossom corpse: Cheryl moves fast from “Pollykins” to threatening Polly’s bodily safety and the gas pedal is Jason

Betty is wearing a pale blue off-the-shoulder dress and looks calmly stunning, like a Disney princess from the 80’s, Jughead is wearing black-on-black-on-black and looks adorable, a suit that fits

FP is presumably NOT swinging by the dance after dinner, while Alice found some very nice dangling Coldwater Creek earrings

Alice’s nail polish is GREY

Best costume bit: Veronica is dressed like a sparkly vampire with a cropped jacket WITH A FUR COLLAR, WITH her new pearls, and Archie is in red-orange velvet. give thanks to the Lord, for He is good

the mounted bass on FP’s wall baffles me every time

Jason threw the ring back at Clifford the morning he ran away? it wasn’t on Polly’s finger?

you knew some shit was about to happen when Penelope WATCHED Polly drink her “daily milkshake”

God, a DAILY MILKSHAKE? this has shaken me to my core

though she is eating for three

Jughead eats: all Jughead gets this episode is the Cooper dinner! is he just being polite? can it possibly be any good?

Hal manages to drag FP and Alice simultaneously by reminding everyone FP lives in a trailer park and reminding everyone Alice threw a brick at him

HOW FAST does FP take back the reins with his “King and Queen of Hell” story? HOW FAST!!!!!

I still can’t believe Archie put those pieces together about FP and Jughead’s story. like I am so excited he did that

“No, this is a fun story, I promise.”

FP KNOWS ABOUT THE FIRST COOPER PREGNANCY, ERGO, THE “APPOINTMENT”, HOW ON EARTH IS THIS POSSIBLE

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: this scene is YET ANOTHER amazing, AMAZING tone-switch by FP wherein he very quietly scares everyone by speaking at a normal pace and tone about something that makes everyone uncomfortable

Betty and Jughead, honestly, have no idea what anyone is talking about now

...or is it black-on-dark blue-on-black? what color is Jughead’s shirt? I’m second-guessing now

Alice’s left eyebrow is legendary and Betty’s stoneface is legendary

the Blossom parents do a bit of an about-face with Cheryl to bring them back to her camp against Polly

Cheryl’s lipstick and nail polish and dress match perfectly, which scares me

Cheryl’s hair: and her hair of course, in an extremely high ponytail, is perfect

Cheryl’s sheaths: and that RED DRESS!!!!!!!

GOOD GOD, THEY’RE STILL IN THAT TRAILER!!!!

Archie is right on the money AGAIN when he says that Veronica is HOPING to find something incriminating because the uncertainty of who Hiram Lodge is is so nerve-wracking for her that she can’t accept another outcome

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” is always a good one to break out, like for parties. Veronica Lodge and Jed Bartlet would probably get along like gangbusters

These students are legally children: I don’t believe even Betty and Jughead would have the temerity to make out DURING a break-in

Archie > Dawson: I think Archie grabs Veronica’s bag FOR HER on the way out because she forgets! Archie is like, like a SUPERHERO this episode!

the Coopers, presuming Jughead is using Betty’s, both have clear umbrellas

FP telling Jughead to be “a gentleman”; “He always is, Mr. Jones.”

although since FP is pimping out one of his gang members for the collective good, I’d be interested to know what being “a gentleman” means, in Southside context

I’m truly hoping that when Jughead got back into the truck, FP was anticipating Jughead asking him some sort of sex question

OR scolding him for making Betty feel weird at dinner

uh, is there a Toledo I don’t know about that isn’t the Toledo in Ohio? I mean, OHIO? TOLEDO, OHIO? WHAT FRESH HELL?

Sixth period is Intro to Film: mark this day, in the year two thousand and seventeen in the Common Era, on which Jughead began a Worry Montage in his head and gazed out at his girlfriend from behind a rainy window, standing in the rain in a party dress staring into the distance, while a Sad Teen Song began playing in the background

am I crazy or is Betty’s little clutch see-through?

Jughead wants to “figure something out together,” continues to long desperately to be in perfect synch with someone despite himself

Gay.: Cheryl does her cover with Betty EXCELLENTLY, turning it into something she can be mean about

Alice and Mary in the girls’ room doing the thing where they only look at each other’s reflections while insulting each other, reapplying lipstick

“What the hell?”: Veronica falls into her mother’s trap wherein if she had just acted like she and Archie were gaily chatting with Alice about their dresses everything would be fine, but instead her facial expression reads explicitly as “I was in a trailer park tonight”

just as when Kevin told Veronica that Mr. Muggs had like, put a gun in his mouth, so does Betty go into A FUGUE STATE as she puts two and two together and realizes Veronica went snooping behind her back

THE CLOSE-UP OF BETTY’S EYES WITH THE STROBE LIGHTS TURNING BLUE AS SHE GAZES STRAIGHT AT VERONICA, UNABLE TO BELIEVE THIS BETRAYAL, HER HEARTBEAT SLOWING LIKE CHRISTIAN BALE’S IN EQUILIBRIUM, BETTY IS ABOUT TO ASK SOME QUESTIONS

Veronica may or may not be slightly afraid in this moment, as she did witness Betty holding a man’s head under boiling water with her high heel

Archie and Veronica’s duet is adorable, because of course it is

but EVEN BETTER, like when Archie was singing at the talent show AND Betty and Jughead discovered Jason’s car, now Archie and Veronica are singing AND the cops are raiding FP’s trailer!!!

what is Cheryl distracted about? her shady parents? is Cheryl distracted about her shady parents at Homecoming??? I love that Cheryl didn’t bother with a back-up date, but rather stands alone in a sea of dancing young people and stares off to the side, distracted by her shady parents, sort of in the way

God bless Moose: Archie swings his guitar around, and Moose is like, YEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!! BRO!!!!!!

Please protect Betty: Betty CANNOT. believe. what she is seeing. or coming to understand, rather. is she getting a premonition that something is about to go wrong? because she DOES believe FP is innocent, or she said she does. maybe she just knows that with her mother involved, something bad is imminent anyway

FP feels the ground shift when that lockbox comes out

IS—THAT—MS—GRUNDY’S—GUN????????????? OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

I love Mary’s super-calm black dress and I love Hermione’s dangly earrings and I even love Fred’s white suit

you KNOW Archie wore Chucks to the dance, please. I think even Jughead is in dark dress shoes! but I guess if he’s performing, he has to stay lowkey, for his brand

Jughead’s shirt is blue. rest easy

Veronica could have delivered that better

Jughead covers his mouth like, EXTREMELY DRAMATICALLY, and points to Archie and Veronica, “these two” with two fingers, he is so beyond, beyond

Betty has on TINY PURPLE BOW EARRINGS

OBVIOUSLY Betty didn’t KNOW about the snooping, I mean, OBVIOUSLY

Jughead, a word. I would like you to calm down. I know you feel big feelings, and that you feel them .5% more than other people. I know you’re under a lot of stress, even though you have fantastic hair, with or without your hat. I know you’re a “creative type.” a “writer,” you know? listen, okay, I think you’re great. but I would like you to calm down with Betty. I was with you in the garage, you know, even in the garage, most of it! but I would like you to stop acting like Betty is the head of a Betty-conspiracy whose goal is to upend your life. Betty CLEARLY, and she IS TELLING YOU, she didn’t know what Archie and Veronica were doing. and you know, YOU KNEW Alice invited FP over to grill him because—because you were right there too!!! it’s not like she was grilling him secretly, in another room! so maybe we can calm down! maybe we can stop snipping at Betty to her face all the time. remember when you climbed a ladder to her bedroom window to check on her (remember when he was in her bedroom?), just because you love her that much? and got all flustered when she smiled at you? can we go back to feeling #blessed in her presence, Betty, the sweetest girl in the world, unless she is Dark Betty? maybe we can try and do that. get back to me

honestly the news that Jughead’s father has been arrested can only have come from Fred, otherwise it would have been too...too cruel…

YOU KNOW WE GOT A LITTLE SCENE OF JUGHEAD TOSSING HIS FATHER’S RUINED FURNITURE AROUND IN TORMENT

my god, but Jughead looks EXACTLY like his dad when he lifts his head back up. he looks EXACTLY like his dad

I don’t know what to make of “I love Jughead”!!!!! I don’t know!!!! she follows it up immediately with him being “like her family,” so it’s probably more like how she can “love” Archie (now) and “love” Veronica, etc., as a chosen family, friend-family-love, you know, agape

—although if she means it romantically, you know Betty and Jughead as a couple are DOOMED!!!!!!! the ticking clock starts now!!!! AND I LOVE IT!!!!!

Alice sees Dark Betty in Betty’s eyes and wisely steps aside

...so I guess Hal put the gun there…? although Fred also knew Alice had the gun? or did he??? I forget who knows what, exactly. I don’t know if Alice told Hal she found that gun. but Fred was at the dance/wants Jughead to be happy/lowkey adores FP, while Hal doesn’t give a damn about the Joneses, right, so like…..who???????

the Lodges sitting on their couch, shell-shocked

Archie is drinking…...a restorative….glass of milk? with like…...a cinnamon stick or something in it? is this MOLLY RINGWALD’S doing?

Riverdale is truly so fucking bonkers that CHICAGO is ostensibly a safer place for Archie to live

Cheryl’s a psychopath: Cheryl “Perry Mason” Blossom using a hand mirror to check on Polly’s breathing

Penelope has Clifford’s “word” that “he will pay” for killing Jason

Betty’s handbag is a see-through plasticky thing with little sparkles and shinys on it, it zips shut, Betty is a princess

are they ASSUMING this gun is the gun that killed Jason, which wouldn’t make a lot of sense, like FP could just have a gun lying around because he’s FP Jones, but if it’s really the gun, like, isn’t it also Ms. Grundy’s gun, like there can’t be TWO guns, like—DID MS. GRUNDY’S GUN KILL JASON???

the leader of a local biker gang has been framed in the murder of a drug-mule football star, who got shot with a pedophile’s gun, probably over maple syrup

NEXT WEEK: RIGHT NOW: has Cheryl slapped Jughead yet? WHY IS SHE SLAPPING JUGHEAD, IS IT A GOOD REASON? FOR GOD’S SAKE, WHY, LIKE, WHY NOT, BUT WHY?

[mysteriouslydarktale-blog]

HOW TO KILL A GUY AT HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY IN CAMDEN...

HOW TO KILL A GUY AT HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY IN CAMDEN…

By: VNASTY

To say that Jessica was "crazy," was the greatest understatement of the century. She was borderline insane, highly impulsive and absolutely dangerous.

 And she was definitely planning on murdering someone tonight.

 She was going to bury someone deep, deep below the ground –underneath the hard, icy cement, engulfed miles and miles within the earth. Nothing but maggots, bones, blood and fucking tears. Her own fucking tears – of joy, that is.  She may have looked like the friendliest girl ever with her with her massive green eyes and winning smile. BUT NO.

 She was a violent and callous killer.

 She had purchased a gun the week before and had it tucked beneath the mess of her gold, sparkly clutch.

 Jessica was going for the kill. But not before putting on some fire ass red lipstick.

 First rule to killing a guy at his birthday party in Camden: put on some fire ass red lipstick.

 There was a huge, blow-out party that night in Camden, New Jersey held at a venue called, "Sloppy Joes and Hoes." It was a notorious strip club located in the heart of Camden and the celebration was for him, so of course she wasn't invited.

 This was a very special occasion for him. He was turning 27 on the 27th of March.

 Oh, how lovely.

 He was going to get lodged in the throat with a golden bullet on his golden birthday.

 Jessica absolutely lived for all these little treasures life had to offer.

 This murder was judiciously planned out for several weeks. Although the objective was simple: pull the trigger and kill him, Jessica wanted this to be a moment for the books. He was going to fall sorrowfully, emotionless and covered in cold blood. And Jessica she was going to be captured, dragged and locked into metal handcuffs.  The police would seize her - dead or alive – but she would be victorious. She was going to strut into the club – no disguise, no cover, dressed in a remarkable, low-cut dress and extremely high heels.

 Second rule to killing a guy at his birthday party in Camden: Be dramatic as hell. Curl your hair, whiten your teeth, forget the bra at home, find a black body-clinging dress, pull out the highest, sharpest heels in your closet, ride out in a yellow Maserati and hide the gun in your clutch ladies. Hide the gun in your clutch.

 Although Jessica wasn't invited to the celebration, the bouncer was most definitely going to let her in. Stephan, the huge Bernie Mac looking bouncer at the door, had an immense crush on her. She would undeniably get in for free, no security check needed, with a few leers and whistles from a couple of onlookers.

Pulling up cleanly outside of the club in her yellow Maserati, Jessica stepped out, and briskly threw her keys at the valet, who eyed her hungrily. She strutted towards the entrance and grinned seductively at Stephan, the huge Bernie Mac looking bouncer at the door. It was 11 pm and through her peripheral vision, she could tell that the club was already buzzing with activity and naked bodies.

 "Hey Stephan," she purred. "How you doin' tonight baby?"

 "Damn," He said biting his lip, taking a step back to examine her. "The beautiful Jessica Meyers. I'm straight but not as good as you, babe. You here for Jamie's shit, right? I thought ya'll broke up."

 It took literally every nerve in her body to keep from cringing at that horrendous name. Jamie.

Him.

 "Well, you know," Jessica started, rubbing her manicured nails along his chest. "We're still cool. He's still my friend at the end of the day. I'm sure he's just dying to see me."

 "Word up," Stephan grabbed her hand and kissed it. "You need a real man - like me. I'm here when you're ready to stop playing games, baby." He then kissed her cheek. "You're in for free but make sure to tip my strippers."

 "Thank you baby," She blew a kiss before strutting inside the booming lounge.

 Third rule to killing a guy at his birthday party in Camden: Get acquainted with the bouncer, make sure he knows you on a first and last name basis, blow a few kisses here and there, let him kiss your hand, flirt shamelessly, make sure you get in for free ladies. NEVER PAY. PAYING IS FOR PEASANTS.

 Sloppy Joes and Hoes was full of people of all ages and ethnicities. The main center of the club held the area where the strippers twirled and twerked around and a huge crowd of people gathered excitedly around the them. Dollars bills were being thrown fervently and ass and breasts were being shaken in the same manner.  Jessica grimaced under the flashing lights as some unintelligible mix of music blasted in the background.

 She could feel the room vibrate and then suddenly, the music eased out.  Someone tall made their way toward the glass balcony on the top floor.

 The VIP section. A spot light was placed on the man.  

 Jessica immediately recognized him as Malcolm, Jaime's best friend.

 The entire room focused their attention on him.

 He tapped on the mic before proceeding and leaned against the barrier. "Yo what's good, everyone?" He earned a few claps and cheers from the crowd.

 Jessica decided to take this opportunity to walk up the spiral stairs leading the the VIP section. She proceeded to remove her heels and seized the golden clutch from under her arms.

 "Thank you all so much for coming out tonight to celebrate my man's 27th birthday…. damn, the homie's getting old!" There was a loud murmur of laughter throughout the crowd. "What can I say about my boy Jamie? He's a little preoccupied right now, ya'll," he said, momentarily glancing over this shoulder. "He's getting a lap dance from this bad Persian chick in the back."

 Jessica rolled her eyes as she continued her way gradually up the spiral staircase.

 "I knew this guy since middle school and Jamie was always the life of the party. He was the class clown, the flyest guy on the basketball team, after me of course, and just a really dope person to be around. I really mean that sincerely. My man's is A1 and he's been with me through my hardest times…I would die for him…"

Fourth rule to killing a guy at this birthday party in Camden: Timing is essential. Be sure to make your move at the absolute, most perfect time. Also, make sure to throw a few clichés into the mix for a corny yet dramatic affect.

For example, when your exes' best friend is in the midst of making a speech for him at his birthday party in Camden and he ends the speech with, "I would die for him," take note and kill said best friend.

 That's right, go right ahead and kill him.

 See what I mean ladies? Timing is essential.

 Jessica pulled the trigger and watched in awe as Malcolm flipped over the glass railing and into the panicking and scattering crowd. There was blood smudged on the glass and she jumped slightly as the microphone slammed nosily on the ground beside him.

 She watched for half-a-second before shooting and killing the two guards that charged towards her. Everyone in the VIP section ran brashly and on top of each other as a desperate attempt to escape. Many of them, Jessica saw, faltered and stumbled down the staircase.  

 Jessica smiled wickedly as the room entire room emptied out. She flipped her hair and made her way towards the back, where Jaime would be with his whore.

 She moved slowly and dramatically, curling her bare feet against the red, plush carpeting. She grappled the Beretta Stampede pistol from inside her clutch and wrapped her fingers around the grip.

 She finally reached a door draped in deep burgundy curtains. Pulling aside the thick fabric, she grabbed the doorknob and untwisted the door. There was soft music was playing in the background.

 Jessica stood at the threshold, gaping at the scene before her. There he was…with that whore still bouncing on his lap. Apparently the room was soundproof… or maybe he was deafened by the hideous sound of a large silicon ass clapping against his thighs.

 The stripper was topless…. that whore.

 Fifth rule to killing a guy at this birthday party in Camden: You must use very sensational and offensive phrases such as, "whore," and "slut" and "hoe," and "sloppy hoe," and so on and so forth. After screaming these overly sensational and offensive phrases at the very top of your lungs, make sure to pull the trigger and shoot the lady in her back. An epic story is never complete if the antagonist doesn't kill a stripper or two.

 "You dirty whore, you slut, you hoe, you sloppy hoe, DIE!" Jessica screamed at the top of her lungs and pulled the trigger, consequently shooting the lady in her back. She watched antagonistically as the stripper fell forward, on top of Jaime, and then to the side and onto the red, plush carpet.

 Jaime made a futile attempt to wipe the blood off of his shirt. He barely glanced at the dead stripper at his feet.

 He seemed unperturbed when he looked up at Jessica. "Hey Jess, you look good." He said calmly. "Wow…You’re bold. I mean, I knew you were absolutely batshit crazy but to try and kill me on my birthday?"

 "I'm going to kill you on your birthday, you ruthless son of a bitch!" She said, walking towards him, enticingly. "I should've killed you a long time ago. How dare you, Jaime? How dare you sleep with my twin sister Bethica? I loved you. I was rooting for you; we were all rooting for you!"

 Sixth rule to killing a guy at this birthday party in Camden: Have an evil twin sister because duh…

 He rolled his eyes melodramatically. "Oh c'mon," He drawled out. "Are you on drugs or something? Who's your plug because I need some of what he's giving you. I thought she was YOU for the last time. You guys are identical for god's sake. And where is she anyways? You should be out killing her not me."

 Jessica threw her head back and laughed maniacally. "She's gone," she said, raising up her pistol. "And you'll be gone too. Any last words?"

 "You are one crazy ass bitch."

 Jessica pulled the trigger and watched frantically as the golden bullet made its way, in very slow motion, towards his throat. He died instantaneously, eyes rolling to the back of his skull, blooding spewing out of his esophagus. He slid off the chair and fell on top of the stripper.

 It was over…Jessica had killed Jamie at his birthday party in Camden and boy, did it feel astonishing.

 Taking one last glance at the gory corpses on the floor, Jessica turned around slowly, just as Angela Basset did in Waiting to Exhale after setting fire to a car. She walked away as the room lit into flames in a fiery explosion behind her.

 Final rule to killing a guy at his birthday party in Camden: After successfully murdering your ex, please will the room to burst into flames and erupt into a fiery explosion behind you. Make sure you do it just like Angela Basset did in Waiting to Exhale.

 ….and then Jessica woke up from her dream and poured herself a hot, delicious cup of tea. She sipped on that tea loudly and proudly.  

 The END.