#i was in a terrible mood when i saw this picture

[heartmix]

Messed Up - Joe Burrow

Pairing: Joe Burrow x fem!reader

Word Count: 3k+

Warning: swearing, mentions of s*x, joe's an ass in the beginning and also dumb, driving while on the phone (focus on driving!) angst but fluffy ending

A/N: cleaned out all my wip and deleted around 50 so i could motivate myself to write more. found this gem while i was cleaning

Masterlist / NFL Masterlist

He didn't mean to make you feel like shit. Really. You were the most understand person in the world especially when it came to his job. If he told you that practice was shit and that the winning drought was getting to him then you would've understood, but he just had to say,

"You're a distraction, you need to stop being all over me I can't focus on work."

That one sentence sent everything into a spiral. He regretted it the moment he said it, apologizing as soon as the last word came out but it was too late. The sad eyes mixed with the anger radiating from your body was evident.

"Hope you can focus for Tennessee." Was all you said before grabbing your phone and rushing to the guest bedroom before joe could get you from not locking the door.

Tennessee being venom on yours lips was a reminder that he had an early flight in the morning for this weekend's game. Of course he had to go and say some stupid shit knowing he wouldn't be able to see you till Monday.

His sleep was absolutely shit. He fell asleep outside the guest bedroom hoping in the middle of the night you'd crawl back in bed or open the door and take pity on him, but you didn't. You slept the whole morning. Even when he had to leave. He screwed up. The texts and voice memos he sent you piled in like a train that morning. In every way he could say sorry he wrote and said. He even made sure flowers and breakfast was on your doorstep before he boarded the plane.

You weren't completely heartless, you knew he regretted what he said, but that didn't change the fact that he said it and looked like in that moment he meant it. Not wanting him to have an even more terrible practice and even worst game you caved into the texts, sending a picture of the flowers with a

'Thank you, it's beautiful. Have fun in Tennessee'

Joe felt a wave of relief seeing your text come in. He knew it wouldn't make up for everything, but at least you weren't ignoring him. He was going to take as much as he could get until he saw you on Monday.

Over the next two days the texts were dry on your end. Just simple replies to his texts and pictures here and there of your day (when he asked). Those two days he was thinking of ways to make it up to you. All of his troubles washed away seeing your Instagram stories before the game. No matter how mad you were you still supported him (even if that wasn't your team).

Bengals got a win off the titans, a close game that was decided by a last second field goal. He was grateful for the strong wind and his kickers experience with wind over Tennessees'. He played a hell of a game, scoring 2 passing touchdowns. Seeing your celebratory stories made him feel even better. He thought everything was going to be okay once he got home.

Sure you loved supporting him every chance you got, but that wasn't the entire reason you posted about the bengals win. It would be suspicious if you didn't. Texts from friends who knew you all to well would roll in with

'you and Joe okay?'

'Joe piss you off?'

'Tired of the bengals?'

You didn't want that. You couldn't handle that right now. You got your anger out of the way and all that was left was irritation. Irritation with what Joe had the audacity to say that to you and Irritation that he couldn't just tell you he wasn't in the mood. He made you feel like a slut and that was the last thing you wanted to feel in a relationship with one of the biggest quarterbacks of this generation.

Monday morning rolled around and Joe couldn't be happier to be home. He couldn't wait to tell you all about the win and hear your praises. He loved hearing your insight after game day, especially over a game he knew he played great in.

When he walked in the house he expected the usual greeting and excitement from you. But it was silent. You didn't work today and even if you did you worked from home most days so you'd take a short break to great him. The whole house was quiet, not even music blasting from the speakers. The more he traveled in the house he finally found you in the walk in closest with your earphones in. You knew he was home evident to the notifications your got from the doorbell camera, you just didn't care to meet him at the door to greet him.

"Hey mamas." You felt his hands snake around your waist as he buried his head in your neck.

"Hey. Great game. The plane ride okay?" You asked pausing the current song so you can show some decadency in paying attention to him as much as you didn't want to.

"Yeah. The win made it easier to fall asleep for a bit." He mumbled in your neck. The reminder that he won hit you right in the chest. Maybe he did win because you weren't a distraction this weekend.

"I bet, at least you got some rest."

"Yeah but now I'm home and I couldn't be happier to be here." All you did was hum at his response as you continued to sort your clothes.

"What are you doing?" He noticed you were making an overnight back.

"Staying at Milla's tonight. She wanted a girls night with just us after we were with the girls all yesterday."

"Oh." Was all he could get out. He was confused. Obviously you could make plans whenever you wanted it's just you rarely made plans when he came back from a road game. You dedicated that day to him and him only. He loved those days even after a win, even in a lost you'd spend it in bed watching film and helping him analyze the games.

"Don't forget to put your laundry in the basket." You turned to him patting his cheek before grabbing your bag getting ready to head out.

"Wait! Whats the matter?" He chased you out of the closet with a confused look on his face.

"Nothing? I going to the store to grab dinner so I can cook at Milla's. She's in the mood for my cooking."

"Okay. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" His signature pout made its way onto his face. Normally you couldn't resist it, but today you really didn't care what face he was making.

"Mhmm."

"Bye i love you, text me when you get there." He came up to you planting a kiss to your lips deeply with you barely reciprocating it back.

"Will do." You gave a fake smile to him before leaving the house.

You didn't come home the next day. In fact you stayed one more day at Milla's with the reason being that Milla tired you out at the mall and you didn't feel like packing up everything from the tiredness. When you came back Wednesday morning Joe just got back from his morning work out but could tell you were in a rush.

"Hey! Woah in a rush?"

"Heading into work today. Got a new project." You replied swiftly has he watched you get undressed and dressed in front of him. Every ounce in his body wanted to take you in front of the mirror, but with the look on your face and your pacing he knew you were in a hurry.

"Oh okay. I was thinking dinner tonight with Sam, Ja'marr and Tee? Said they missed your cooking."

"Yeah sure. I'll text you when I leave the office." You smiled grabbing your work bag off the bed and rushing out the door before Joe could even pull you in for a goodbye kiss.

The only thing joe could think about all day was you. He couldnt wait till you got home and have you to himself, even though he needed to wait a few for you to play host. The text came in 2 hours after the boys arrived and they were well into a game of 2k. Screaming and jabs made them forget about the food that was promised.

'Hey sorry on short notice staying late tonight. New project is big. Tell the boys I'm sorry and that I'll cook for them next week. Don't wait up for me.'

'It's okay mamas, don't work yourself to hard. I love you'

All he revived was a heart reaction and no follow up text. He found that strange, but put it off as you were focusing on your work. He understood that. Quickly ordering some takeout the boys didn't mind hearing that next week they were for sure getting your cooking.

Joe didn't even know when you got home last night. Having the boys over drained him so he went to sleep earlier then he thought, he tried to stay up to wait fr you but failed. So to his surprise you weren't even in bed when he woke up. You weren't in the bathroom either. When he made his way downstairs he saw you already dressed for the day washing your finished coffee cup and making a new batch to go.

"Hey I didn't hear you get in last night."

"Yeah I crashed on the couch. To tired to go upstairs." Which had some truth to it. He knew you loved the couch so it wasn't strange you slept downstairs.

"Already heading out?" He asked coming up behind you circling his arms around your waist burying his head into the crook of your neck.

"Just for a few hours. Want to understand the project to I can bring it home for a few days."

"Mhmm, sounds good I missed you home." He mumbled still being comfortable in the crook of your neck.

"You need to get ready for practice and I need to run." You gave him a tight lip smile before rushing out with your coffee and bag in hand. No goodbye kiss, not even a goodbye in general.

He knew something was up, but couldn't figure out what. This whole week since he got back you were short with him. He wasn't even sure he saw you for an hour combined this whole week. The three men who were over that night could tell Joe was deep in his thoughts.

"What's got you all depressed?" Expressed Ja'marr as they were taking a break on the bench. 

"My girl. I haven't even seen her for an hour combined the whole week."

"Woah what did you do to piss her off." Next was Sam who spoke what everyone was thinking.

"Nothing I think? When I got back home she was running off with Milla for a sleepover and that turned into 2 days. When she came back the next morning she was rushing to get to work and stayed overtime which is why she didn't have dinner with us and this morning she was up and out when I woke up. I got two sentences out of her before she rushed out. No goodbye or even a kiss goodbye."

"Oh my guy you messed up big time." Tee said chuckling at the mans stupidity. He didn't know exactly what his teammate did, but knew it was his fault.

"I don't even know what I did! She wasn't like this before the week-" he stopped in his tracks now realizing what could be the cause.

"What did you do?" Ja'marr said knowing that face Joe made all too well.

"Before we flew out, the night before I told her that she was a distraction to me and that I couldn't focus on work with her being all over me." The QB hung his head wanting to knock himself out.

"You gotta be kidding me man."

"You blamed her for your shitty work performance?"

"Oh my god. I didn't even notice. I didn't think she was mad anymore after she was posting about the game on Sunday." Joe was now frantic. How could he have not know sooner.  

"Dude she posts every game it would be weird if she didn't." Tee said the obvious thing that Joe didn't seem to notice that it would be weird to everyone else if you didn't post.

"I would even question why she didn't post." Sam shrugged being the dude less on the internet out of the four. 

"Holy shit I'm a terrible boyfriend."

"Yeah you fucking are." Tee got out a little too fast.

"Wow thanks guys."

"It's your fault I didn't get her cooking last night? Unbelievable." Ja'marr exclaimed making Joe roll his eyes. Of course that was all he focused on.

"So how are you going to make this up?" Sam spoke seeing his friend stressing out.

"I don't know. But I need to do something before she comes home."

As soon as practice ended he rushed home having no time to waste. On the drive home he managed to order food from your favorite restaurant, have flowers delivered to home and a bag you've been eyeing for months. He was going to wait till Christmas to get the bag, but what better time than right now. As dangerous as it would be to be on his phone while driving he checked your location every minute to make sure he would make it home before you. Just as he reached home it was when you left your work place. He hoped you'd come straight home and not make any detours. 

He worked fast, putting the flowers front and center on the kitchen counter, unpacked the food and put it on plates and finally placed the Dior package next to the flowers. Smiling at the little set up he looked at this phone seeing he had time to get dressed up. Sure you didn't mind the sweatpants and a bengals shirt but he didn't feel like it was the most "i'm sorry" fit. 

Walking through the door you let out a sigh. As much as you wanted to avoid Joe more you couldn't help but admit you missed sleeping in your own bed especially with him in it. Maybe you should let up on your semi silent treatment. Your thoughts were paused when you heard your playlist coming through from the kitchen. Peaking your interest. Turning the corner you found Joe standing all dressed up with a goofy smile on his face.

"What is this?" You inquired placing your work bag on one of the free counters.

"A sorry, a i messed up and i didn't realize it till now."

"Joe-" you started before he cut you off.

"I missed the welcome homes, i love you's and the way call me by a nickname instead of Joe. I was stupid. i thought everything was okay with what I said to you last week but it wasn't. Trust me when i say i didn't mean it. This is no excuse, but it was an in the moment thing. I know my performance was shitty these last few weeks and that my day was bad and that was no excuse to take it out on you when you were only trying to make me feel better. I also know that i should've just came to you. The most understanding girl i know, especially when it comes to my job. I don't know what else to say besides i'm sorry." he got out all in one breathe which shocked you. He wants one for a grand speech, but he was pretty good at it.

"It took you almost a week to realize something was wrong with me." you still didn't want to let down your guard, you were going to milk him for everything he had to say.

"I know, I mean i knew you weren't alright since i left, but i guess i let the praise you gave me online clouded everything. Sorry it took me so long to realize."

"You know you made me feel like a slut. like all i wanted from the new hottest quarterback was sex. normally you like to take your mind off of work when it affects you that much but i was wrong and i'm sorry for that."

"Don't apologize. i never meant to make you feel that way, you are not a slut. you've been there for me since my first year at LSU. how could i make you feel any less." He said pulling you into an embrace which was much needed for the both of you.

"Do you forgive me?" He mumbled in your hair making you giggle at how whiny he sounded. 

"I do, and i missed you."

"I missed you more then you could ever know, this past week was worst than my losing streak."

"I doubt that but ill take it. now whats all of this?" You pulled away looking at the little fixture on the kitchen island."

"food from the place you like and a little gift."

"A little? It's a Dior package."

"Open it." he begged you.

Reaching over to the bag you didn't know what was going to be in it, Joe's love language was for sure gift giving so it was always a surprise. When you opened the box you gasped at the bag you've been eyeing out for months. You didn't even tell Joe about your interest in the bag. When you looked back up at Joe he had the signature smirk on his face. 

"How did you know?"

"I pay attention believe it or not."

"You didn't have to." You pouted up at him for the sweet gesture. No matter how many gifts he would shower you with it still caught you by surprise everytime.

"I wanted to. I was going to get you it for christmas, but i have enough gifts to spare." he said as a smirk creeped up on his face.

"You're unbelievable." You laughed pulled him down by the jacket he was wearing to plant a deep kiss. He couldn't help but bring you closer. Right when he was going to lift you up on the counter you pulled away.

"Food is going to get cold." You reminded with a smirk of your own making his drop.

"I haven't touched you in so long." he growled out making you laugh.

"Could've had sex the night before your flight and sex this whole week but thats on you." You said patting his chest as you made your way to sit on the barstool.

"Oh you're never going to let that go."

'am i getting my dinner next week?'

[sweatervest-obsessed]

New Shade of Green

Pairing: Spencer x Reader (gn!)

WC: 2.7k

TW: implications of murder, serial killer talk, mentions of abuse, crying, anger, swearing <3, Men sucking so bad

a/n: This was a request, which you can see here. Jealous Spencer was so fun to write! Enjoy babes!!!

"Oh my god. Shut the fuck up! I didn't know you were the consultant for this case!" You hopped up out of your seat on the jet to greet the man you called your best friend. 

His eyes lit up when he saw you, wrapping an arm around you, squeezing you tightly. "I assume you didn't read the text I sent you last week."

You laughed and pulled out of the hug slightly, hand still on his arm. "I never read anything you send me."

Spencer, whose hand you had abandoned when you got up to say hi to Oliver, was zeroed in on the fact that your hand was still on Oliver's arm, and Oliver's arm was still slightly wrapped around your waist. 

"Team, this is Oliver Swerdanski, my best friend and specialist in classics--" 

"Norse mythology specifically." 

It was not lost on the team that you clearly had a type. Oliver was about 6 feet tall, in a sweater, and wearing wired glasses frames. He was slightly buffer than Spencer, but not as tall. (something Spencer noted the first time you had introduced the two)

The team nodded and said their hellos, more interested in the shifting dynamics of the plane since you hadn't left Oliver's side, opting to sit with him on the couch instead of your usual seat by the window, next to a certain green-faced Doctor. 

The flight was going to be a long one. 

Eventually, Derek felt terrible enough for Spencer that he stopped by you and Oliver on his way to get some coffee. 

"So, Oliver, how long have you known our dear Y/N here." 

Oliver smiled over at you with a glint in his eye that most of the profilers on the plane noticed. Except for you. 

"Oh, well. We go way back." 

You nodded enthusiastically, just happy to have the company of an old friend. "We were neighbors growing up--you could say he's my childhood best friend." 

"That turned into one of your now best friends..."

You smiled and rolled your eyes. “Don’t push it asshat.”

Derek smiled slightly, realizing this was going to be an interesting case “Well, it’s nice to meet you Oliver.”

He left the two of you alone, taking your abandoned seat next to Spencer, a slight smirk washing over his face as he did. 

“Aren’t you the picture of joy this morning?” 

“Not in the mood, Derek,” Spencer mumbled, staring intently out the window, trying not to let his jealousy get the better. It’s not like it mattered since he was surrounded by profilers who could read him like a book. 

“What do you think of Oliver?” 

Spencer’s jaw tightened, and Derek chuckled. “Good luck, kid.” 

And with that, Derek left Spencer alone, knowing he had his plate filled with more than enough shit for however long this case would be. 

And it didn’t help anything that you were completely oblivious to both men: both of them filled to the brim with envy of the other, having what they each thought the other had—your attention. 

____________________________________________________________

Four years ago, Hotch had made you and Spencer share a bedroom, causing a chain of events to lead to the fact that you still share one now. 

Three years of dating had made you feel very comfortable in your relationship; You loved Spencer Reid. This was not some passing affliction, it was simply a fact of the universe. You would move hell and earth if he asked you to. 

But not right now. Right now? You kind of wanted to punch him. He was ignoring you, or at least that’s what it felt like. The car ride was completely silent. You could tell something was upsetting him, but you weren’t one hundred percent sure why he was so distant. 

“Spence?” 

“Hm?”

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong.” 

He shrugged, effectively trying to murder the conversation before it even had the chance to live. 

You frowned slightly, shifting in your seat slightly, and looking over at him. 

“What’s going on?” 

You heard him mumble something under his breath, unsure of what he was saying, but it just made you even more upset. 

“Why won’t you tell me what’s going on with you?”

“I said. I’m fine.” Spencer huffed. 

“Well, clearly you aren’t.”

“Believe whatever you want to fucking believe then.”

And that’s where the conversation ended, leaving you effectively lost. Especially since he wouldn’t hold your hand in the car ride back and then didn’t wait for you as he walked straight into the police station. 

This was going to be a long case. 

___________________________________________________________

And you were right. 

Spencer ignored you at every chance he could. Even in the hotel room, he’d go to bed without you, no holding one another, no late-night talks, nothing. He would just get ready for bed in silence and then turn away from you. 

And tonight, you couldn’t deal with it anymore. He had been ignoring you for over a week and now that it looked like the case was going to take longer, you couldn’t stand it. Instead of getting into bed, you grabbed your phone and wallet and stormed out of the hotel, slamming the door behind you. 

You went down to the hotel bar and ordered yourself a tequila shot, downing it quickly before getting your regular drink. 

Oliver slid into the seat next to you, hand on your arm. 

“I haven’t seen you do tequila that fast since freshman year of college.” 

You gave him a dry laugh and took another sip of your drink. “Desperate times.” 

“Want to talk about it?” 

“Not really. I’m just. I’m aggravated.” 

“Come on, babe, it’s me.” Oliver rubbed his hand up and down your arm. “You can always talk to me—so tell me what’s been going on. Boy troubles?”

You sighed. “It’s just…I don’t know what’s going on with Spencer. He’s barely said like three sentences to me since the case began, and clearly, he’s upset with me, but I have no fucking idea why since he’s being a stubborn ass and won’t talk to me. How the fuck am I supposed to fix something if he won’t even tell me what’s wrong.” 

Oliver rubbed his thumb across your arm. It felt intimate because it was, but this was Oliver, who only had the best intentions for you, who you had known since you were a little kid.

“He sounds like a douche babe.” 

You leaned away slightly, face becoming unrecognizable for a moment. “Okay, well, that’s not what I said. He’s clearly just upset abou—” 

“You kinda did. He’s acting like you don’t exist, and clearly, he doesn’t care about how all of this is affecting you.” 

You went to rebuttal his claims because Spencer would never be that callous; he’d never treat you like that. But he kind of was. “It’s only because something is wrong and…”

“So he treats you like this whenever he can’t communicate with you.”

“Well not…he doesn’t…” You were starting to doubt yourself, unable to keep up with the accusations. 

“He doesn’t what. Because it sounds like you’re saying he treats you like shit when he gets upset with you…”

“What are you trying to insinuate? That he hits me? Oliv–”

“I’m just saying that behavior–”

What? Oliver, no. Stop twisting my words.” 

“I’m not twisting your words; I’m just stating what I’m seeing.” 

“What you’re seeing? You’ve been here for a week. You don’t know the past three years.”

“It’s been a week and he’s still treating you like this. And honestly, whenever I come around, he…” Oliver moved his hand to your thigh, causing you to frown deeply. 

“Oliver. Step off.” 

He shook his head. “You’re upset. And I want to help.” 

You shoved his hand off your thigh and stood up. You left cash on the bar, standing up and moving away from Oliver. 

Oliver watched as you walked away, frowning once you couldn’t see him anymore. 

____________________________________________________________

The next morning, Spencer was woken up, and you were curled into his chest, sleeping soundly. He couldn’t move. He ghosted his lips over your forehead, causing you to stir slightly, clinging to him more. 

“Morning.” He whispered to you. 

You hummed and gripped a bit tighter to him. “Don’t go.”

Your voice broke Spencer’s heart a little bit. It’s not that he didn’t feel bad about the way he was treating you, it’s just that Oliver kept provoking him, making him turn greener every single time he saw Oliver talking to you. 

“I wasn’t planning on it, sweetheart.” 

“Oh so now we’re back to nicknames.” You grumbled into his chest. “I’m still mad at you.” 

He signed and brushed your hair out of your face. “I’m sorry Y/N. Let me make it up to you, yeah?” 

“You can make it up to me when we get home.” 

“Deal.” He kissed your head again, just as your cell phone began to ring. 

_________________________________________________________

After two grueling weeks on this godforsaken case, everyone was ready to get home. 

The rest of the case caused serious tension for the group because the mythology was the only thing tying these murders together, and your geoprofile was all over the place, meaning these two killers were too good at what they were doing. 

Once you had been shot at, and nearly grazed by a bullet, you would have expected Spencer to continue to speak to you, but all he did was stare at you from afar. It was infuriating. 

You couldn’t get a read on him. For the rest of the week, he had been speaking to you, kissing you, holding your hand; then after checking on you while you were getting checked out, he stopped speaking to you. 

The entire team watched you and Spencer shift back into the dynamic duo you were, functioning better than before. They watched as Oliver got more frustrated as you continued to ignore him unless it was a necessary part of the investigation. Maybe you had figured it out–they hoped you had.

Instead of trying to deal with even more bullshit, you opted to sit alone at the back of the plane, headphones on. It was one of those many unspoken rules about the plane that everyone knew not to disturb you while your headphones were on unless they wanted to get bitch slapped. 

Well, everyone except for Oliver. 

You were deep in thought, trying to mull over why Spencer wasn’t talking to you–both times– going over every scenario you possibly could and figuring out what changed during that first day. 

Oliver got up, ready to go and talk to you, his intentions pretty clear from the look on his face, but Derek grabbed his arm, effectively yanking him back down into his seat. 

“What the fuck man?” 

“Don’t bug Y/N while they have headphones on.” If Spencer wasn’t going to stand up for you, then Derek absolutely was. Oliver might have been your best friend, but Derek was your family. 

“It’s just music…”

“Yeah,” Hotch spoke up, not looking away from the report in his hands. “And no one wants to clean up your blood when you get murdered for trying to interrupt that music.” 

“Look. As Y/n’s best friend, I’m outside of most of their rules–”

“I don't think so.” Derek stood up, fully ready to restrain this man. 

“What the fuck is going on.” You had stood up, and turned around, headphones out of your ears, and my god did you look fucking pissed off. “I don’t know why is everyone arguing so loudly, but if we could keep the volume at a fucking minimum that would be fan-fucking-tastic.”

The team stared back at you, except for Hotch who just had a slightly amused look on his face as he filled out paperwork. You glared at Oliver and Derek, who were standing opposite of you. “Can I help you two or…”

Derek shook his head. “Go back to your music. We’re sorry.”  

“Thank you.” You grumbled to the group, sliding your headphones back over your ears, attaching a ‘sorry’ to the group as you did so. You moved further back on the plane, sitting on the couch, glaring at anyone who looked at you. 

This has been a stressful two weeks for you. Oliver was acting all weird all of a sudden, –causing you to reevaluate your entire relationship with him, considering he was trying to make Spencer sound like a villain. And then Spencer, acting like a villain and ignoring you all week, then acting like nothing happened, and then ignoring you again for another twenty-four hours. You couldn’t take it anymore. And, on top of all of this, you had lost two more victims to the unsub, because one of the killers worked in the station, using his knowledge to avoid the BAU. 

You were overwhelmed and frustrated, and you just wanted some peace and quiet. Was that too much to ask for? 

“I should go apologize–” Oliver didn’t move to sit back down.

Spencer stood up and shoved past Oliver, moving to sit on the couch with you, causing you to raise your eyebrows at him. 

“Can I help you?” 

Spencer shrugged and opened his book, knowing you’d rather have whatever conversation he was willing to have now, in private. He opted to just read and be in your company. It was easily recognizable as the beginning of an apology, and you would take it. You maneuvered so your back was up against his arm, initiating the amount of touch you were willing to have, but also not crossing a line. 

The plane ride was silent the rest of the way. 

______________________________________________________________________________

“I’m sorry for this w–the past two weeks really. I-I’ve been really in my own head and–”

You let out a hefty sigh, tossing your keys on the counter and your bag down next to the door. Spencer followed suit, closing the door behind the two of you as you went into the kitchen to put on the kettle to make some tea. 

“Are you going to tell me what was going on? What the fuck happened?”

He sighed back at you, grabbing your hand and pulling you into a hug. 

And while you muttered your displeasure, you didn’t move away from him at all, opting to grouchily mumble in his ear, while Spencer ran his thumb up and down your back, listening to you mumble. 

“I–god Spence. You just dropped me like all week, and then suddenly—”

“I-I know. I was awful. I’m so so sorry.”  

“That’s not an explanation.” You mumbled into his chest.

“I….” Spencer swallowed whatever sort of pride he thought he would be saving and opted to tell you. “I…It was Oliver, and-and the way you were treating him, an-and you sat next to him on the plane and he was touching you and he was constantly holding you and stealing your attention away and—”

You pulled away slightly to get a look at your boyfriend. “Spencer Reid, were you jealous?” 

He cursed under his breath and rolled his eyes. 

You placed a soft kiss on his neck, causing him to hum. “You have nothing to be worried about Spence. You are it for me. No one can change that, especially not Oliver.”

Spencer looked down and smiled again. You smiled back at him, pulling him to you for a kiss. 

It was recentering your universe. Everything was the way it should be–your lips on Spencer's, his hands around his waist, and a glowing sunset peering through your windows. 

The kettle whistled loudly, causing the two of you to jump apart, startled at the sound. 

“That was a good start, Spence. Once I finish my tea, you can show me how else you can keep making it up to me.” You smirked slightly, turning around to take the kettle off of the stove and grab the tea and mugs. 

Spencer has never been so excited to drink a cup of tea, and honestly, neither had you. 

[its-avalon-08]

ADORE UR ANGST! Can you do a lando norris x y/n where lando is upset with y/n because she wasnt listening when he was ranting about something that happened. He feels annoyed. Y/N doesnt know why he's upset but then she realises. she tries to apoligise

can i just say i love it when y/n messes up, because writing reader groveling is my guilty pleasure <3 thanks anon

look up from your fucking phone (ln4)

✦ pairing - lando norris x female!reader

✦ genre - alot of fighting, y/n is being annoying, angst, fluffy ending

Lando slammed the apartment door shut, the echo bouncing off the bare walls of their new place in Monaco. He threw his helmet on the couch, the familiar orange a stark contrast to the simmering red of his mood.

"Y/N, did you see that?!" he yelled, stomping towards the kitchen.

Y/N was hunched over the counter, phone glued to her ear, a frown etched on her face. "Ugh, why won't this load?..." she trailed off, finally noticing Lando's stormy entrance.

"Didn't you see what Yuki pulled out there?!" Lando practically exploded. "That dive bomb into Turn 12? I could've been wiped out!"

Y/N finally peeled her phone away from her ear. "Yeah, I saw it. Sounds scary," she said, her voice flat. She scrolled through her phone again, a picture of a cupcake taking center screen.

Lando's anger intensified. "Scary? Y/N, it was reckless! He could've ruined both our races!" He gestured wildly with his gloved hands. "And all he gets is a five-second penalty? That's a joke!"

Y/N sighed, a sound of exasperation that sent a fresh wave of irritation through Lando. "Look, I'm sure you'll bounce back. Maybe get some revenge on him next race?" She offered a tight smile, her eyes still glued to the phone.

Lando felt a knot tighten in his chest. "That's it? No 'are you okay?' No 'that was a dirty move?'" His voice dropped to a low growl. "Don't you even care?"

Y/N finally looked up, startled. "Of course I care, Lando! I just... I had a really stressful day too, okay?" She gestured vaguely at the phone. "Work stuff."

The knot in Lando's chest unraveled, replaced by a hollow ache. "Right," he muttered, his voice devoid of its usual spark. "Work stuff is always more important than your boyfriend getting wrecked on the track, apparently."

Y/N's eyes widened. "Hey, that's not fair! I wouldn't say that." She reached out a hand, but Lando flinched away.

"Just forget it," he said, his voice tight. "I need a shower."

He stormed past her, the slam of the bathroom door echoing through the apartment. Y/N stared after him, the phone clattering to the counter with a forgotten thud. The file which had now loaded mocked her from the screen.

Her heart pounded a frantic rhythm against her ribs. She'd been so caught up in her own problems, she hadn't realized Lando was having a terrible day. Shame washed over her as she remembered his frustrated yells, his need for support.

She jumped up, rushing to the bathroom door. "Lando, wait!" she called out, her voice laced with panic. "I'm so sorry, I was just..."

Silence.

She tried the knob, but it wouldn't budge. He must've locked it. Lando, who never locked the bathroom door. A cold dread filled her.

He was mad. Really mad. And it was all her fault.

The silence stretched on for what felt like hours. Dinner, usually a time for shared laughter and stories, was a tense affair. Y/N cooked Lando's favorite pasta dish, but it sat untouched on the table, growing cold beside her untouched plate. Every time she stole a glance at the bathroom door, a knot tightened in her stomach.

Finally, unable to bear the silence any longer, she cleared her throat. "Lando," she began tentatively, "I know you're upset, and I just wanted to say again that I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been on the phone. I was just..."

The clatter of the bathroom door slamming shut cut her off. Lando stormed into the living room, his face a mask of fury.

"Just what?" he spat out, his voice raw with emotion. "Just another bad day at work for you? Don't you get it, Y/N? Today was a nightmare! Yuki nearly took me out, the car felt off the entire race, and to top it all off, the media keeps hounding me about missing out on the podium."

He ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. "And you," he pointed a finger at her, his voice cracking, "you weren't even there for me. You were too busy with your stupid phone to even see how much I was fucking hurting."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes. "Lando, I-"

He cut her off again, his voice laced with a raw vulnerability that ripped at her heartstrings. "No, Y/N! You don't get to talk now. I had the worst fucking day of my life, and your sorry does. not. fix. that. You listening to me, maybe even caring, might have. But you weren't there. And frankly, right now, I don't even know if you care at all."

He stormed past her, grabbing his helmet from the couch. "I'm going for a drive. Don't wait up." The slam of the front door echoed through the apartment, leaving Y/N standing alone in the cold, sterile silence. Tears streamed down her face, a silent apology echoing in the empty room. She had messed up, badly. And now, she had to find a way to fix it, even if it meant facing Lando's anger and rebuilding the trust she had so carelessly shattered.

Lando's car tore down the familiar winding roads, the roar of the engine a poor substitute for the roar of frustration in his chest. Tears, hot and angry, blurred his vision as he navigated the steep climb towards his favorite spot - the very same hill where he'd asked Y/N to be his girlfriend.

"Stupid phone. Stupid fucking Yuki. Stupid me," he muttered under his breath, slamming the car into park with more force than necessary. He stormed out, the cool night air doing little to quell the fire burning inside him.

He reached the familiar crest of the hill, the city lights twinkling like scattered diamonds below. It was supposed to be a place of peace, a place where he could clear his head. But tonight, it was a stark reminder of everything he'd lost.

"Why couldn't you have listened to me Y/N," he growled, the words catching in his throat. He sat down on the familiar patch of grass, burying his head in his hands. A choked sob escaped his lips, the sound harsh and raw in the quiet night.

Suddenly, a soft voice broke through his despair. "Lando?"

He looked up, startled, to see Y/N standing hesitantly before him. She was holding a basket overflowing with snacks, drinks, and a familiar fluffy blanket. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her face etched with worry and regret.

"Y/N? What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice hoarse. His anger hadn't quite subsided, but it was overshadowed by a wave of surprise.

"I followed you," she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. She set the basket down beside him cautiously, the woven handles creaking softly. "I know you needed some space, but I couldn't just stay there. I had to try and fix this."

Lando hesitated, then gestured towards the spot beside him. Y/N sat down, her gaze fixed on the glittering cityscape. Silence stretched between them, heavy with unspoken emotions. Finally, Y/N reached out, placing a hand tentatively on his arm.

"Lando, I'm so, so sorry. There's no excuse for my behavior today. You were having a terrible day, and I completely ignored you. It was selfish and insensitive, and I hurt you. And for that, I am truly sorry."

Lando flinched, a tear rolling down his cheek. He looked at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of hurt and longing. "I just... I needed you, Y/N. Today was one of those days when everything felt like it was going wrong. And all I wanted was for you to be there for me, to listen, to just be you."

Y/N's hand tightened on his arm. "I understand now. And believe me, I was there in spirit. Every time you yelled, every time you slammed the door, it broke my heart a little more. But I was so caught up in my own problems, I didn't even see how much you were hurting."

She squeezed his arm gently. "Please, Lando. Let me try to make it up to you. Let's stay here, talk, share some snacks." She gestured towards the basket with a small, hopeful smile. "Maybe then we can face tomorrow together."

Lando looked from her hopeful face to the inviting spread in the basket. A flicker of his old smile played on his lips. He sighed, the tension easing from his shoulders. "Alright, Y/N. Snacks and talking it out sound pretty good right now."

As they settled under the blanket, the city lights twinkling around them, they began to talk. Lando poured out his frustrations about the race, Yuki, and the media. Y/N listened intently, offering words of encouragement and understanding. They reminisced about better races, laughed at silly inside jokes, and slowly, the rift between them began to heal.

The drive home was filled with a comfortable silence, a silent promise to communicate better in the future. As Lando pulled into their driveway, he turned to Y/N, a genuine smile warming his face.

"Thanks for coming after me, Y/N." He leaned in, his lips brushing softly against hers. "I love you."

Y/N smiled back, her heart overflowing with relief. "I love you too, Lando. And next time, I'm chucking the phone into the bin."

[iateyourparents]

baby i think i'm gay | c.b.

pairing: colby brock x fem!reader (and sam golbach x katrina stuart)

summary: You, Katrina and boredom = disaster

warnings: fake cheating, faking change of sexuality(?), terrible writing and grammar(I'm sorry, english is not my first language), use of y/n

an: IMPORTANT!! If you aren’t comfortable with with idea of prank cheating or faking sexuality for a prank, don’t read it!

pictures are from pinterest:)

Yesterday Sam and Colby were exploring some haunted place and today they were supposed to be coming home.

Which means you're alone with Katrina in your home and as much as you love her company, and she loves yours, you both can't help but feel bored.

It's raining so you can't do much outside and your lazy moods doesn't help this situation.

Currently you are both laying on the couch watching some reality show, when suddenly Katrina kicks you.

"We should do something for boys. Maybe dinner?" she offered.

"Ooh that's a good idea." you agreed and you both stood up and went to the kitchen.

"Spaghetti?" she asked and you eagerly nodded. You were craving spaghetti this morning so that's a good opportunity to make it, plus Katrina's cooking is just delicious.

"You know what Kat?" you started after a moment of thinking when the other girl was gathering products. "We should prank Sam and Colby. Revenge for leaving us in this awful weather."

Kat stopped what she was doing and looked you in the eyes with a mischievous smirk and you just knew that she had some genius(probably not) idea.

"What are you thinking about?" you asked with a smile.

"Do you remember my ex, Damien?" she asked and you nodded. Of course you wouldn't forget the biggest asshole you ever met. "I broke up with him saying I'm lesbian. Do you see where I'm going?"

"You want to prank boys into thinking we're lesbians and we are cheating on them with each other?" you furrowed your brows and smirked "that's fucked up but I'm in."

"Actually I just wanted to prank one of them that one of us is gay but that's even better!" she hugged you with excitement.

"We should still make this dinner as an apology." you laughed and she agreed so you started working on the food.

|||

When you got a message from Colby saying they would be home in ten, you excitedly told Katrina about it.

You both ran to your and Colby’s room where she asked “Should we get naked?”

You narrowed your eyebrows thinking about it. “That might be a little too much but we could take off tops and get under covers so they wouldn’t see we have pants on.”

“Good idea.” she agreed. You both took off your shirts and you laid them on the floor to make it seem like you threw it carelessly in heat of the moment. You also took some random pants from your closet and also laid it on the floor.

Then you both got onto your bed and covered your bottom parts with sheets so boys wouldn’t notice that you’re actually clothed.

“We should hug.” she stated and you just laid partially on her body placing your head on her shoulder so it looked like you were kissing her neck.

“Wait.” she thought about something “Doesn’t Colby can see you saw his message?”

“I didn’t open it, just read from notification.” you assured and she nodded with relief. After few moments you stated “They will hate us.”

“Oh definitely.” you both laughed “Do you think they will try to revange?”

“I don’t know but what can they do? Also pretend to be gay?” you snorted.

“Their fans would be delighted.” she laughed and then you both heard the front door opening so you immediately got silent and just exchanged looks smiling mischievously.

You heard boys coming up the stairs, probably looking for both of you to say hello, so you again placed your head in Kat’s neck trying not to laugh while she closed her eyes to make it seem like she was enjoying presence of your lips on her neck.

Few seconds later door to your room opened and you could hear Colby stopping walking but you both pretended to not hear it.

Moment later Sam started walking toward standing in shock Colby “Did they go out? I can’t find Kat…?

You and Kat looked at them with wide eyes pretending to be surprised and not knowing what to say. Both of boys just stood in the door frame with wide eyes and open mouths trying to comprehend what was going on.

“What the hell?!” Colby was the first one to shake off the shock “Y/n?!”

“Colby…” you faked a gasp and both, you and Kat, sat up holding covers to your chests.

“Sam, it’s not what it looks like.” you barely held back a laugh from escaping your lips at her words. Sam looked petrified with shock while Colby was almost shaking, you weren’t sure if because of anger or shock.

“Do you mind explaining yourself?” Colby asked in low tone and Sam nodded to him also wanting to know what’s going on.

“Baby, I think i’m gay.” you just said.

“We’re so sorry you had to get to know it like that.” Katrina sighed.

“What?” both boys said in the same time. Colby’s voice was choked and you felt your heart squeezing and suddenly you didn’t like this prank anymore. You knew they wouldn’t be happy but that was worse than you imagined. You knew this tone, Colby was trying to held back tears and you could already see Sam’s eyes watering.

You exchanged looks with Kat, both of yours eyes were full of guilt and concern. That was definitely a good moment to stop it.

“Okay boys, we’re really sorry. This was supposed to be a funny prank but I guess we didn’t think it through. That’s not as funny as we thought it would, actually it’s not funny at all.” you quickly explained and got out of the bed to let them see you weren’t naked and Kat followed your moves. You both took your shirts to wear them while boys were just silently observing your moves trying to understand your words.

“It…it’s just a prank?” Sam asked and you clearly saw a hope in his eyes and that made you feel even more guilty.

“Yes” Kat quickly nodded and you both approached them slowly.

“I could never cheat on you.” you said looking into Colbys eyes and carefully taking his hand giving him time to retreat it if he doesn’t feel like touching you. You felt relieved when he only squeezed it.

“We’re so sorry. We didn’t really thought about how bad you could feel.” Kat hugged Sam who closed his eyes with relief and reciprocated the hug.

Kat looked at you and took Sam’s hand to lead him to their room, closing doors after them.

“I’m so sorry. Are you very mad?” you asked Colby with concern leading him to sit on the bed.

“I…I just don’t know what to say.” he squeezed your hand again “I’m not mad…I mean, I am but I’m also happy it was just a prank. I really thought for a moment I would lose you.”

You felt your heart breaking at his words, his tone and his slightly watered eyes and you quickly hugged him repeatedly saying sorry.

You felt his hands hugging you back.

“What can I do to make you feel better?” you were ready to do anything just to make him feel better.

“Can we just hug in bed for some time?” you just nodded at that and you both laid back still hugging.

And if the next day you and Kat woke up with water all over yourselves, you couldn’t even be mad because that was nothing comparing to your prank

[soniclozdplove]

@quitealotofsodapop you thank you for helping me so much with this au

Wukong is playing to good host to the Pilgrims, even whilst they seemingly continuously made asses of themselves. To be fair to them, their reaction to a television could have gone worse. The only casualty to that anomaly of technology and magic is a broken VR headset at least, and Wujing had been profusely apologetic since they got it into his head that the machine wasn't some demon trap. And they were trying very hard to be gracious guests! There was just one singular problem that kept getting on the way.

This is not the Pilgrims Wukong had known at the end of the Journey. Not the brave and selfless Tripitaka, not the loyal and true Ao Lie, not the steadfast Wujing, and maot definitely not the rough around the edges but still very kind Zu Baije. And it was clear to them that they felt much the same about Wukong, flinching st every move he made as if e expecting him to attack if given the chance, much like he would have done had he been given the chance early on in the journey. Wukong was happy to see his brother's again, but instead of the family he had found along the journey, he instead has the cowardly monk, selfish pig, meek dragon, and unenthusiastic water demon he had started the journey with. The ones who hated and feared him and he hated and feared in turn before time and many enemies along the way broke through each other's walls and forced them to bond together.

At the very least Ao Lie was enthusiastic to see him and excited about learning about how life has evolved from the Tang dynasty. He took one glance at the many photos around the house and clocked onto Mei as being his decendant immediately. He's been enthusiastically talking about baby dragons since and asking about every little thing in the picture. Wukong was happy to tell him of the little spitfire hatchling thay inherited his sword and how the world has changed their view on many things, proper behavior of men and women included. He even showed Ao Lie some of the outfits Mei and he picked out together in their last shopping trip, dresses and skirts included.

That's when Zu Baije put his foot in his mouth by commentating on the fact Wukong was cross dressing, putting Wukong in a terrible mood. After reaming Baije out on his sexist ideologies and how out of date they were even amongs Tang era demons, frightening Tripitaka into hiding under the couch cushions in the process, Wukong had stormed out to where MK had been cleaning up a bit, havinf insisted on doing that to give Wukong time with his old friends, fur puffed irritably.

"Oh, that's not a good sign." MK paused from scrubbing the wall he was cleaning to comment the moment he saw Wukong's tail lashing about like a snake, "What happened?"

"I didn't hit any of them, if that's what your asking about." Wukong grumbled, grabbing a spare bristle brush and stepping up next to MK to help, "Just... forgot how people in the Tang dynasty viewed... certain types of dress."

"They found the dresses?"

"Yup."

"Baije make fun of you?"

"How'd you know it was Baije?" Wukong quirked a brow at his apprentice, fairly certain he'd never told him anything about the Pilgrims for him to come to that conclusion. MK gave him an awkward grin in return.

"I maaay have started reading the book. At least some of it. Macaque was bugging me about it."

"I see." Wukong frowned at that, because if MK had gotten far enough into the book that he'd know Baije was an asshole, then he probably knows about all the things Wukong had done at his worst. It makes him worry about what impression thay made on his young apprentice.

[deathbxnny]

hello, platonic aventurine with an in-debt teen reader?

Oooh!! I really love this idea, anon! Thank you for the great request!! And I'm sorry for the long wait, I'm sick and busy with fulltime work/school, so yeah, I hope this won't be too bad...

Content: Spoilers for the most recent Penacony quest!!, small mentions of potential child slavery??, Reader is a young teen and works for the IPC, platonic older brother figure Aventurine, angst, talks of debt, bitter sweet mood, sfw Reader has no set pronouns! ((Not proofread at all, but may edit mistakes later!!!))

Aventurine couldn't help but listen in, when he heard about you from Topaz. You were very young, as young as he was when he first joined the IPC, and the massive debt you had already accumulated on your shoulders at said age, made you a slave to the organisation from the start. He had no information on why you owed them as much as you did, but he guessed it was just another way for the IPC to make you... "repay" them for their heartwarming efforts of "saving" you. Either way, you peaked his interest enough to be taken in by him.

He was a little hard on you at the beginning, not because of any malicious reasons, but rather to ensure your survival in your new life and environment. It was a way to toughen you up, before he finally relaxed and allowed himself to be more playful with you. He's kind in his own special way, as he offers to help you out with your debt in turn of you essentially becoming his assistant. He gave you meaningless work most of the time, nothing that could stress you out or put you in any danger. He basically kept you around to watch and learn, always making sure you saw the bigger picture in all of his plans or gambles. A sense of pride fills him, when you started thinking more like him.

Aventurine saw a younger him in you and he figured that it was exactly why he cared for you so much. His days were numbered, but he wanted you to live out yours on your own terms, just how he always wanted it to. It's what led him to take you with him to Penacony without anyone officially knowing about it. It was supposed to just be a small "vacation", or at least that's the version he told you.

He told you many small, white lies. White lies that set you free for life, when he finally won his final gamble against the world and left you with everything he ever owned in the physical realm. Your debt was paid off, your shackles destroyed and you were officially let go from your "job" and existence in the IPC all in one day. You were free and so terribly alone to now do as you please, go wherever you please... just not with him there this time.

It was a bittersweet win for the both of you, as you wordlessly parted ways from the family you found in eachother even if for a small moment.

Alright, this one lowkey hurt to write and think about, considering how tragic Aventurine's charakter in general is. But anyhow, I hope you liked it, Anon, and thank you again for the great request!!<33

[nikoniclove]

i just saw the scene where jj puts headphones on her baby bump and i was wondering if you could write a little one shot of ace doing the same for peanut and emily and jj jjst being so confused but smitten or something

A couple of blurbs about music and the Ace in the Hole pregnancy arc:

Song is Lady by Brett Young

JJ finds her pregnant partner on the back porch with her guitar. The young woman sings softly, strumming along. She’s just starting show, the roundness of her belly offsetting the instrument in her lap more than it usually does. JJ leans against the open sliding glass door, just enjoying the view. For as much as Ace feels uncomfortable with the pregnancy and the bubbling insecurities about motherhood, JJ adores seeing her partner pregnant. The soft swell of her belly and knowing it’s her baby, their baby. JJ is excellent with words, and she can’t find the right combination of syllables to describe how it feels to love someone so wholly and see her carry their child. Warmth blossoms in her chest, and JJ’s heart skips a beat listening to Ace sing to their unborn child.

I remember when I first heard your heartbeat, it had only been 8 weeks. Standing there staring at that screen was the first time you ever scared me. God knows I don’t know exactly what I’m doing, but, good news, we got her to get through it. I hope you look just like your momma and love her like I do. You’ll see close to perfect patience if you watch her every move.

“You should really sing more often,” JJ encourages when Ace lets her fingers still on the strings. “I’m sure he enjoyed it as much as I did.” She watches the characteristic blush color the young woman’s cheeks. “You’re so fucking cute, you know that?” She settles onto the bench swing, resting her chin on Ace’s shoulder. “I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ace chuckles. “You’re not supposed to be back yet.”

“I knew you were holding a backyard concert, and you needed an audience, so I hustled home for my front row seat and backstage pass.”

“You’re such an idiot,” she states playfully, lovingly. JJ beams back at her, begging for more songs. JJ knows their son is going to be raised with so much love and just as much music, a beautiful playlist to capture their life as a growing family.

——

After news gets out that you’re pregnant, the whole group of them starts bickering over what Peanut is going to listen to while case talk happens. You wear headphones on either side of your belly to block the conversations about victims, killers, and other terrible things. Reid and Morgan go as far as hijacking the Bluetooth headphones to play what they want, Reid wanting classical for his nephew while Morgan insists on 90s R&B. It goes back and forth until JJ swats them both. “I’ve put you in time out before, and I’ll do it again.” Then she takes your phone and plays the BeeGees, The Beatles, or Nirvana.

When Emily gets her way, it’s The Cure or the Banshees. She wants to make sure Peanut is introduced to her preferred punk tastes before any of her chosen family can sway Peanut’s tastes with terrifying pictures of his Imma as a goth teenager. You play whatever playlist you’re in the mood for, which is usually an eclectic mix of everything.

[strawbby-shortcake]

✯ Showing Fight Club Characters Memes ✯[all gn! reader]

❀ Marla ❀ You and Marla were sitting inside the laundry mat waiting for some careless person to leave their clothes behind. The two of you rarely hung out or spoke, but when you did, it was to steal jeans and sell them. Marla used the money for cigarettes and you used it for snacks. It was sort of like "bonding time" between you and her. Not that Marla would admit that- or you.

She was getting restless waiting, and she didn't have any cigarettes on her, so she needed a distraction.

"Hey, show me something funny," Marla said, resting her head on your shoulder.

You glanced at her messy hairdo and chuckled.

"Sure," you replied.

You got out your phone and starting scrolling through your gallery. A meme that you made of Jack sleeping popped up. Marla's eyes widened and she started to laugh. She laughed for a while until she had a coughing fit.

"Maybe you should quit smoking," murmured.

"Over my dead body."

✭ Jack ✭

Jack was dozing off in his office cubicle, as usual. You were his co-worker and thought he could use a funny photo to look at while attempting to stay awake.

"Excuse me?" you whispered, gently nudging him.

"Wha-! Huh?" Jack jerked awake and looked around frantically.

"Woah, take it easy. It's just me."

Jack looked at you wearily and rolled his eyes. He was always in such a terrible mood. To be honest, he looked like he hadn't slept at all. Maybe that's why he's irritable.

You showed him a cat meme on your phone, "Here, I thought you could use a nice laugh today!"

He stared at the photo blankly, but didn't give you a response.

"Uhm... okay then, see you tomorrow," you said, quickly exiting his area.

✦ Robert "Bob" Paulson ✦ It was another full house at the testicular cancer support groups. You didn't understand why you were there. Maybe you were curious. A big man with an even bigger chest made his way towards you. His name tag said "BOB" in bold letters.

As soon as he got within two feet of you, he enveloped you in a bear hug. He smelled oddly of a mixture of sweat, perfume, and wood. You were being crushed, but patted him on the back since he was sobbing. Maybe because of his testicular cancer, or he got it removed. Either way, he was in dire need of cheering up.

"Hey, do you want to see something funny?" you asked.

Bob looked at you with teary eyes and nodded.

You showed him a meme from your gallery and he laughed slightly. You were about to put you phone away when he suddenly starting swiping from over your shoulder. Personal pictures, tax documents, the whole sha-bang. Bob saw it all. Did he care? Probably not. He just wanted to scroll.

⍟ Angel Face ⍟

You and Angel Face met at Lou's Tavern one evening. He was a simple-minded guy, seemed to be the highlight of everyone's night, and was easy-going. You two had run out of things to talk about, so you decided to show him a meme from your gallery.

"Oh, what's this?" he questioned.

"It's just a silly picture I saved."

He snatched your phone from your hands and looked at it closely. You tried to grab it back but he jumped away from you.

"What's your deal, man?" you fumed, "that's my phone."

"I'm just trying to get a better look at it!" Angel Face whined.

You sighed and shook your head, there was no use in trying to get it back at this point.

✴ Tyler Durden ✴

Tyler was working on his famous pink soap- the "yardstick of civilization," as he would call it. Lots of high end stores bought from him. He never told you the secret ingredient though.

He'd been silent for quite some time, only humming once in a while or whistling. You decided, like any good friend should, to interact with him and show him some memes.

"Tyler, hey man, wanna see something funny?" you asked.

You poked him in the shoulder a few times before he pushed your hand off.

He took his cigarette from his mouth and paused his soap making.

"What do you want?"

"I was trying to show you something, jerk face," you replied.

Tyler didn't even bothering looking up, he just continued to fiddle with glycerin. You guess that his reaction was to be suspected since he never really listened to you in the first place.

You sighed, "Whatever."

[END]

[geonwooz]

♡ PRETTY YOU — KIM GUNWOO

gunwoo x fem!reader | wc : 0.5k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, fluff, swearing, strangers to friends (?)

“ah, fuck my life.”

you cursed your luck, sitting at the bus stop while contemplating your life decisions.

should've watched my step. you wondered, looking down at your arm, which was in a cast. but i could've sworn that step wasn't there before.

after a minor accident that resulted in your arm in a cast, you were informed you had an appointment for your passport picture.

and with your roommate away for the weekend, you had absolutely no one to help you. it took you all your effort to get your clothes prim and proper, but you forgot about your hair in the process.

upon seeing your phone's reflection, you realized you needed to be absolutely professional for the picture — and this meant having a proper hairstyle.

and as a last resort, you took a deep breath, turning towards the male beside you who was also waiting for the bus. he looks nice. you wondered, politely smiling.

“hi. i’m really sorry for disturbing you,” you apologized as you greeted him. “but could you please help me tie my hair?”

kim gunwoo seemed confused at first, wondering why you were asking him before he saw the cast on your arm.

“i, uh, haven’t really done this before,” he admitted honestly, feeling bad when he saw your mood deflate. “i could try, though.”

“that’d be much appreciated,” you thanked him. “i have to get my passport pictures done, and my roommate’s also not home. i’m really sorry for troubling you like this!”

you felt terrible, and weirdly enough, that brought a smile to gunwoo’s face. he knew you genuinely meant every word you spoke, and your politeness warmed his heart.

“i’ll touch your hair now,” he announced awkwardly, standing behind you as he gathered your hair in his hand. “is your fracture really bad? does it hurt?” he asked, trying to make some conversation as he tried to figure out what to do.

“it’s a minor one, but it hurts a lot more than i thought,” you replied, oddly feeling comfortable with this stranger. “i’m sorry about this, really.”

gunwoo chuckled, shaking his head, though you couldn’t see it. “it’s alright. if anything, i’m sorry if i’m doing anything wrong,” he apologized. “i don’t want you to ruin your picture because of me,” he muttered.

his touch on your hair was very gentle, and you could feel him trying his best, and you deeply appreciated that.

once he had tied your hair, gunwoo stood in front of you, taming your flyaways before taking out his phone and turning the camera towards you.

"wah!" you exclaimed, totally in awe. “you are really good at this! thank you very much!”

the male only smiled in response, relieved to hear his shoddy work of tying your hair was acceptable. “well, that’s a relief,” he muttered, nodding politely as he moved away.

“seriously, i mean it,” you commented, grateful for the help. “it came out so pretty. i can't believe you’ve never done this before!”

the raven-haired male shyly smiled as he looked at you, admiring the absolute golden retriever energy that was radiating off you.

for the first time in his life, kim gunwoo wanted to get to know someone, and the someone who pulled on his heartstrings was none other than you.

“ah, well, i’m glad i was able to pull off a pretty hairstyle for a pretty you.”

TAGLIST :: @missscarlettangel (TO BE ADDED, PLEASE COMMENT, SEND AN ASK OR DM!)

[simping4-2manyppl]

hiii !

So I had this request : 2008!bill kaulitz x singer!reader (the reader is like reallyyyy famous). Could you make a story abt their most iconic scandal please ? (I know my request doesn't have many details and isn't very clear but I have too many ideas, ily 💋)

Bill Kaulitz 🎤

Stalker

Ok so i didn’t understand this request too much but i had such an amazing person help me so 🤭 here it is 😜! @nyxwritesshit (the amazing helper!!)

For a few weeks you’ve been getting weird things getting sent to you, it had started when you went to collect your fan mail and as you were going through the stack you found a special letter that caught your eye.

You were a bit weirded out by it since the letter showed old pictures of you or just unflattering pictures of you. It would also consist of a piece of paper in the letter explaining in deep detail of all the terrible things that would be done to you, and saying things about bill. Obviously most fans werent happy about your relationship but you didnt care, you were happy with him. But the letters obviously scared you a bit, so you called your boyfriend and asked him if he wouldn’t mind staying over.

He didnt. So when he went over to your place he asked if everything was alright, as a good bf does, you showed him the letter with the pictures and the writing.

“Oh my god.. i dont even have those pictures of you!” He said, trying to lighten up the mood. You laughed and hit his shoulder, “im serious! This really freaks me out!” You said, sighing.

“I know, if you want ill stay over and be with you as much as i can.” He said putting the letter down and giving you a hug.

You hugged him back and smiled at him, “thank you.” You said, looking up at him. He leaned down and gave you a quick peck on your lips.

“You’re welcome pretty girl.” He said, smiling back at you.

It was now a couple days since you had told bill about the letter and hes been with you every second of every day, trying to make you feel safe.

You were grateful, of course, but the letters didnt stop. You were scared to go out but bill assured you that everything would be fine, and that he would be with you the entire time.

You smiled and nodded, “thank you my love, i appreciate you so much!” You said, giving him a big hug.

He smiled and hugged you back, “anything for you mein schatz.” He says giving you a small peck on your cheek.

“Alright lets go yeah?” he said, holding your hand as you walked out of your apartment building. Bills bodyguards behind you, causing you to relax a bit more, knowing you were safe.

Usually youd have fans surround your building so you were used to it but as you were walking you noticed someone jump at you, screaming your name.

You turned to look at them and saw them approaching you, with a scary look on their face.

They grabbed your free arm and pulled you, making you scream out as they dug their nails into your skin, “THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING MY BOYFRIEND!” They said, punching you. You punched them back and pushed them off of you.

Before you knew it, you saw bill jumping onto the person, catching them off guard, making them land onto the floor.

Bill pinning them down as the body guards pulled bill off them, then grabbing the person.

Your jaw dropped, not expecting any of this to happen. “Oh my god, bill are you okay?” You said immediately running to him and making sure he wasnt hurt.

“Im fine, are you?” He said with a worried look on his face, “im fine, you didnt have to do that for me..” you said placing your hand on his cheek, “Of course i did, i wasnt going to let them hurt you.” He said frowning.

“Its all over, lets call the police and get this over with.” You said hugging him. “Yeah..” he said.

After the police got there and took the person away you went back with bill, thanking him non stop, which he just laughed at and said your welcome.

“Wow, i really need to get some bodyguards.” You said, letting out a small laugh, “yeah you do.” He said, also letting out a chuckle.

You smiled and hugged him, “you’re my hero, you know that?” You said, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He laughed and nodded, “just had to protect my beautiful girlfriend.” He said, smiling. You smiled back and leaned in, placing a small kiss on his lips.

“Ill forever be grateful for you meine liebe.” You said, giving him another soft kiss on the lips. He smirked and picked you up spinning you around, licking his teeth (how he does it in the gif!!) placing his lips onto yours.

Later on you found out the news got ahold of the situation, making it a big deal, and totally taking it out of context, but they usually did that, and you knew for future interviews they would ask what really happened so you knew you could speak out about it and explain what REALLY happened. But right now you were comfortable, cuddling with your bf, his head on your chest and you couldnt wish for anything better.

HEYY SO I HOPED MY POOKIES LIKED THIS, IDK THID REQUEST WAS A BIT CONFUSING BUT I TRIED MY BEST 💗💗 I HOPE U GUYS ENJOYED THIS ILY ALL SM 🤭🫶🏼

[emerxshiu]

Grand fest idols (cw: a bit suggestive clothes i think)

decided to make a grand fest version of my splatoon idols

if you follow me on twitter, you probably saw me bitching and yeah shits bad hand hurts, back hurts, head hurts, its hot in here, i cant stop coughing and its that type of cough that hurts

i dont wanna bring the mood down so im just gonna talk abt other things!

Their name is Hada, fun fact: i never finished the drawing i made so i kinda had to pick some colors in the spot, well, i picked some from the old reference since that was a redesign (you might have seen the one i did of the other) they are based on a big fin squid....

this....

thing...

cool! so yeah thats why they are so tall

here is the sketch i made for their normal design

they actually wear goggles usually since they are very sensitive to light, but i didnt draw it there

and here is Lucida! based on a glass octopus (though she used to be an inkling i changed it when i saw that i barely had any octoling ocs (never changed actually, like, always a glass cephalod, so nice that i found out that octopus also have a similar like, species so i didnt have to change her much))

and here is her's! wich i did finish

if you notice i kinda changed her body just because i wanted her to be chubby but i thought my job was bad so i decided to improve it a bit, her freckles also change colors :3

and here is an old design

its not even the oldest, they look REALLY different from those

though, i havent really written down their personalities or anything so its kinda woobly, you can ask about them but just mentioning that so you know they probably will change

i will try to do a team future drawing tomorrow, but now im gonna rest my hand a bit and try to get back onto splatoon as soon as possible, hopefully (the next line is a bit of a leak, skip to the next parentesis if you dont want to read that) when the amiibo concerts are back, you can choose for them to perform at the grand festival stages, or if anything, (you safe now) i want to be able to keep going there after the festival ends, even if the idols arent performing. because i really want to take more photos of deep cut, btw deep cut are my favourites now, callie is still too but not as much as them. uh- yeah- sorry i tend to go off topic a lot, welp, my timing is terrible so i end up taking the pictures some seconds later and it gets fucked up, i might upload all the ones i took after the fest ends

well, i should get going, Jambuhbye!

(forgot to say this but they are over 20 dont worry)

[hischierdevils]

Valentine | N.H.

note: I was listening to Valentine by 5SOS and have been in a nico mood so here you go

summary: nico questions your relationship on valentine’s day

warnings: slight angst, miscommunication

wc: 1.3 K

It started with a comment from Dawson, he was innocently talking about his Valentine’s day plans with Jack and John when Nico had walked into the locker room. “What are you doing for your girl, cap?” Dawson asked once he saw who had joined them.

Nico shrugged as he sat down on his bench. “We don’t celebrate it. Y/n doesn’t care.” This would be your third Valentine’s Day together and he’s never so much as bought you a card. You never said anything, so he assumed the two of you were on the same page about the made up holiday.

“Are you sure she doesn’t care?” Dawson asks. “Or has she just accepted that you don’t?” He doesn’t mean anything by the question, but it sends Nico into a spiral. Do you want him to do something for you? Have you just been too nice to say something?

Before practice starts, he corners Yegor in the hallway. “Can I ask you something?” Shara nods and Nico continues. “Are you doing anything for Darya today?”

Yegor gives his captain a weird look. “Of course, it’s valentine’s day? She just had Christian and she needs to know how special she is.” He looks even more confused when Nico sighs. “Did you forget?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Have you been silently resenting him this whole time? You were sleeping when he left this morning, barely opening your eyes as he kissed you goodbye. Were you pretending to be asleep because you didn’t want him to disappoint you again?

His thoughts drive him crazy as he overanalyzes every reaction he’s had with you this week. He thought he knew you well enough to know if something was bothering you. He thought you trusted him enough to tell him anything. Was he that terrible of a boyfriend?

Needless to say, Nico’s a little more frustrated in practice than usual. He takes out a little too much of that frustration on Dawson as they practice the penalty kill, sending him to the ice hard. “What the hell man?” He groans as he gets up. Nico mumbles a sorry before skating away.

He’s the last one off the ice for practice, pushing his body as much as he physically can as he tries to figure out his thoughts. He’s come to the conclusion that he needs to do something for you today, but he fears it might be too late. Everything is surely booked already.

His misery only continues as he walks into the locker room and is greeted by a picture on Tomas’ phone. Veronicka is holding a beautiful bouquet of red flowers. “The Devs sent all the girls flowers.” Nate holds up his phone as well, showing Jessica received them too. Nico internally groans. Now he’s competing with his own organization?

He stops at the store on his way home which is packed with men doing last minute shopping just like him. Guilt washes over him as he stares at the bare, picked-over shelves. You don’t deserve something he picked up last minute on the way home from work. You deserve to know how wonderful you are. How much he loves you and appreciates you being in his life. He leaves the store empty handed, feeling completely defeated.

Your apartment is quiet when he walks in and he’s immediately greeted by the large bouquet of flowers that the Devils sent you on the entryway table. Your name is scrawled on the card along with a cheesy message that probably made you smile. He feels awful, wishing he could be the one to do that for you.

“Nico?” Your soft voice calls from the kitchen and he hesitates to answer, trying to figure out if there's any sign of sadness in your voice. “Is that you?”

“Yes, were you expecting someone else?” He regrets the words as soon as he says them, walking down the hallway to the kitchen. You’re probably hoping for a nicer boyfriend, one that actually gets you flowers on valentine’s day.

“No, my other boyfriend just left actually.” You call back with a laugh. He knows you're joking but it hurts all the same. “What do you want to make for dinner?”

His heart soars as he steps into the kitchen and finds you standing by the counter scrolling on your ipad. Your hair is up in a messy bun, you're wearing leggings and one of his sweatshirts but the sight of you still takes his breath away. When he doesn’t answer, you look up at him expectantly. The two of you always cook together when he’s home.

“Ni?” You start to frown as you look at him, wondering if he didn’t hear you. “Dinner?”

He hates the thought of disappointing you. “I can take you out.”

His tone catches you off guard and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you asking me or telling me?”

“I’ll do whatever you want.” He wants to eliminate the distance between you, pull you into his arms and hold you tightly but he’s not sure if that’s what you want.

“I’d rather stay home.” You turn your attention back to the ipad. “I found this new recipe we could try.”

“You don’t have to say that just because you know that's what I want.” He tells you suddenly. “I’ll do whatever you want to do.”

You set the ipad down on the counter and stare at him. “I just told you what I want.”

“We can dress up.” He says, trying to think of a plan on the spot. “I’ll take you to dinner. And a movie!”

“Nico, what is going on?” He’s usually an open book, letting you read every emotion on his face. The mood he’s in now is something you haven’t seen before.

“It’s valentine’s day.”

“I know. The Devils sent me flowers.” Guilt washes over him again. “Did you se-”

“I’m so sorry.” He chokes out. “I should’ve gotten you flowers, a card, a puppy, something…I should’ve made you feel special. I didn’t know you cared about valentine's day.”

You move around the counter quickly, stepping into his embrace before he can even finish his sentence. “I don’t care, Ni. We’ve never celebrated it before.”

He holds you tightly, hiding his face in your hair as you rub soothing circles on his back. “But I should've.” he explains. “I should show you how much I love you.”

You pull away from him and he’s surprised to find that you’re smiling. “You do show me. You show me every day.”

When he gives you a confused look you keep going “You put a towel in the dryer every morning before you leave because you know I hate being cold. You always fill my car up with gas before you leave for a roadie. You fill up my water bottle for me every night before bed in case I get thirsty in the middle of the night. You always let me have the last bite of food even if it’s your favorite.” Your chest is heaving from talking so fast. You could go on and on about the things he does for you.

“I’m just being nice.“ Nico shrugs. He’s never really given much thought to those things before. He does them because he loves you, yes, but he never realized you noticed.

“Because you love me and I love you.” You insist as you circle each of his wrists with your hands. “I don’t need you to buy me flowers or chocolate just to tell me that.”

The stress he’s put himself through all morning ebbs away as you look at him. Hands still on your face, he bends down to kiss you. “I fall more in love with you every day.” He says pressing his forehead to yours. “Du wirst eines Tages meine Frau sein.”

You smile, only catching a few german words that you know. “Can we circle back to the puppy?”

“Who mentioned a puppy?” Nico pulls away from you and tries to change the topic. “What recipe did you find?” 

You laugh and kiss his jaw. “I love you, Ni.”

You’re going to be my wife someday

[honoriotsusuki]

𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐀 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝!𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐳𝐞𝐥!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Warnings: abusive father and heavy manipulation (also implied gaslighting) parental abandonment and somehow angsty fluff

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

☀️ Okay, so this idea came to me a few minutes ago, and I don't wanna forget it, so here we go-

☀️ Let's not debate how you got the healing hair because that would be A nightmare

☀️ So, for the sake of this, let's say your parents were well-known eristrochrats from Shnezneya.

☀️Once Dottore heard of a child with hair that could heal and keep someone young forever, he just grappled to that opportunity.

☀️He basically took away their status and fame and took their newborn baby with them.

☀️Once Dottore figured out he couldn't just chop the hair off he settled for raising you as his kid.Just saying you got your appearance from your mother

𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

☀️ Dottore managed to be worse than Mother Gothel somehow by just manipulating your entire world view.

☀️ By that, I mean he made you think children never left their parents and that the outside world was practically A wasteland of thieves and death.

☀️ The more realistic books he gets you as a child are literally altered to make the world seem unforgiving and horrifying.

☀️ Also, he never tells you about the Fatui. He tells you He's a successful scientist who wishes to help those across the world, and that's why he's always gone for so long.

☀️ In reality, most of the time you will see him it will be his clones. And of course, you always sense something is different. but you chock it up to a bad mood or something else.

☀️ Dottore would pretty much get you anything that didn't support giving you freedom. Anything that would encourage you to stay would be yours in an instant

☀️ And of course, he would always tell you that brushing your hair was for bonding and because your hair had begun to grow very long.

☀️ You got your love of painting from books and the pretty pictures inside them. Dottore doesn't allow you to paint pictures of the outside world in fear that it will motivate you to leave.

☀️ He keeps Fatui guards outside the tower at all times to make sure nobody gets curious .

☀️ There was an incident where one of the low-level guards got curious and climbed the tower.

☀️ The guard was confused when he saw it just looked like a regular home. Nothing special or rare, just a basic home with odd books.

☀️ While the Fatui guard looked around, you were in your room, panicking at the idea that your father was right and someone was here to take you away from him.

☀️ In a stroke of terrible luck for the poor guard, Dottore just got home from work and was furious to find someone had entered.

☀️He rushed inside to find the guard snooping around, to which he knocked him out with a punch.

☀️You came out when you heard Dottores voice calling you and telling you it was safe

"Flower?" A familiar voice rang. The young child's ears piqued up at the sound. "Flower don't worry.Its safe now." The doctors voice rang.

The young child ran out of their room and down the towers stairs to find their father standing there with A warm smile,standing over the intruders body.

Tears pricked their eyes, and they ran into their fathers warm embrace and began to weep. Panicked sobs about how panicked and scared they were without him.

Dottore smiled at the child's dependence and let out a small shushing sound to try to calm them down.

"Now,now flower don't worry." He let out A gentle laugh. "Its alright,father's here."

Since their head was buried in his chest, they failed to notice the physcotic smirk that had spread across his face.

☀️yeah, you're not going anywhere

☀️at least not until you're twenty and get another even more odd intruder

[A/N]This was honestly a bit lazy, but I hope you enjoyed it! If you want a part two, then just ask, and I will be happy to supply.I actually have a few more ideas for this AU

[sketchedboba]

"A Green Queen" AU

Chapter I

Mario retreated to the kitchen and decided that he'd need something to distract himself from the situation, so he started to wash dishes.

His brother, on the other hand, placed his shoes on the rack and headed towards his room to prepare for the journey he'd have to embark on tomorrow.

He began to pack clothes, his toothpaste and toothbrush, brushes, combs, and more he'd need for the year ahead. The few suitcases he had brought with him to the Mushroom kingdom were able to hold all he needed and as a sigh left his lips, he closed the last one.

He stood up and stared at the pile for a moment, he wondered if he'd really thought this through. Him? A queen of the koopas? It sounded like a bad joke, a nightmare even.

Before he could relish the thought, he looked at the new dress-suit Peach had a Toad designer tailor him early that morning. He wasn't sure about Bowser's customs, but felt it was much flashier than what he'd usually wear. However Peach insisted that whatever the king had planned, he'd still have to dress like royalty in order to impress his court.

A day had passed, the brothers went about their day as usual as they tried to avoid the topic. Even so, Luigi could sense Mario had a lot he'd wanted to say, but ever since he woke up was helping out more than he had normally.

He made a large breakfast full of Luigi's favorites and even cleared up most of the table and dishes afterwards. The guilt of leaving Mario alone only grew the more supportive he was, but he couldn't go back on his word. Not now at least.

As the day passed, Luigi retreated to his room once more and took a deep breath as he dusted off his suitcase. The sun's reflection got in his eyes so he covered his face, but as he did the picture of him and his brother moving in revealed itself.

His eyes swelled up as he smiled at it and went over to take it up. The two were as close as ever after they had finally found a place for themselves in the kingdom and after they had first defeated Bowser.

"Bowser.."

He uttered his name out loud, thinking about how despite their countless attempts at trying to stop his plans, he'd be taking part in the tyrant's kingdom as his equal.

Luigi shook the thought from his mind and tried to refocus himself back on the memories with his brother.

Knock knock!

"Oh! Uhm, come in!", Luigi shouted. He placed the photo down on his dresser and stood up from his bed with the suitcases ready. Mario opened the door slowly, the look of worry on his face.

"The Toads are here to get your things.. You ..um, ready to go?", He said solemnly.

Luigi nodded only for a few Toads trickled in past Mario to get his luggage. They hurried along and began placing the bags and suitcases in Toad's kart outside.

The green plumber was watching them from the front door, trying to help but Toad insisted they could handle it.

Luigi nodded then turned his attention inside the home. He noticed his brother retreating to their lantern-lit kitchen and saw his frustrated look that his brother had as he was rubbing his temple.

"You know you can still come and see me off.", Luigi smiled softly yet nervously, trying to lighten the mood.

Mario turned to him, terribly concealing the worried look he had and shook his head, "N-No it's fine. You'll be visiting by the end of each month anyway. I-I just need a minute... I promise, I'll be there when you're leaving."

Luigi wanted to believe him, but knew he'd only suppress his thoughts if he bothered him on the topic any further. He walked over and sat down beside him, "If you say so.. I'll see you at the castle.. Promise?"

"I promise.", he smiled. "Now go, you'll be late."

Luigi stood up and nodded. He started towards the door but bolted back to embrace his brother into a hug. He gave this one all his might before he let go and sped out into Toad's 'kart'.

"Oh? You ready now, Luigi?"

"Y-Yeah..."

"Alrighty then! Buckle up back there!", Toad shouted over the engine.

Luigi looks at his sides in confusion, "But there are no seatbe-"

Before he could finish his concerns, the buggy sped off.

The night crept in as the two sped down the road towards the castle, the cool breeze blowing in his 'stache as he gazed out at the luminescent night sky. Toad skirted onto a narrow path along a hill and as they escalated up it Luigi peered down at the town and beyond.

"Don't worry, Luigi! He's... Eh, y'know! Plus if he tries anything, just try to, y'know, POW! WACHA! Y'know, like you did back in, uhm Brook-lyn!", Toad yelled, trying to speak over the engine. He made a sharp turn causing Luigi to cling onto the door for dear life.

His heart fluttered at how gorgeous the scenery below him was, lanterns starting to glow in the streets and along the mushroom huts. It was still dark but the warm lights against the cool toned sky made him feel at ease.

The feeling did last long as another turn was made and the town vanished behind him. Along the rim of the kart, a pit grew in his stomach as he saw the lava drenched castle nearing the kingdom inch into view.

"I'm not sure if I'd like to fight him while being on his lands.."

"Fair enough! Well we're here!", he yelled while skirting onto the main court. The guards groaned while they witnessed the skid marks being made on the polished marble.

"Again?! This is the third time this week!"

"Whoops, sorry!", He chuckled. "Better get dressed, your majesty!"

He looked in the mirror and held up the suit-dress in front of him.

Despite the fact that he wasn't even declared queen yet, Toad was right.

Luigi fell out of the monster truck and grabbed his outfit from the back of the door. "T-Thanks for the ride!" The guards quickly got his luggage out as Luigi headed inside and into the nearest bathroom to change.

'A Queen', he thought.

The weight of this agreement, started settling in as he buttoned his vest and pulled up his pants.

'I'm really doing this... F-For the kingdom. Oh boy.."

'I'm going to be in the Dark lands, ruling with...''

From the rim of the tub, he stared at the heels Peach had lent him as fastened the tassels on the glittering cape.

'All this for a brute. Why am I even...'

He stood up once he fitted into the heels and wobbled a bit as he looked for his center. "Kind of like Ma's heels... let's see if I still remember how to do makeup.."

He stammered a bit back towards the mirror and tried to follow the steps Peach had given him on the look she envisioned,

'Most high rank koopas wear bold colors from what I could gather and since you're wearing red, it makes sense to pair it with the black, yes?'

Despite being able to remember her words, he wasn't as skilled to execute them, but the simple foundation, eyeshadow and eyeliner weren't too hard for him to figure out.

After a few attempts, he managed to create a simple look for himself albeit messy.

His thoughts were disrupted as a knock came to the door. "It's time, your majesty." Luigi opened it slowly and looked down to see two guards.

"Your husband has arrived, your grace."

"R-Right, and it's just Luigi.. I'm not really one for formality.."

The guards looked at each other and shrugged, "Better to not keep them waiting then, Luigi~", one teased as the two started heading down the corridor.

Luigi rolled his eyes and tried to ignore their snickering. Once he grabbed his bathroom care baggie and gloves he hurried, or at least tried to in the heels, and finally caught up with the two.

He began to trail a bit behind once he saw the luming ship and his stomach could help but toss and turn at the rumble he heard from its entrance.

The castle doors creaked open, and the crisp night breeze quickly turned into heat waves. Luigi and Peach covered their faces as the waves were accompanied with light sparks of fire.

Luigi peered out through his gloves at the King and as he did he noticed Peach step forward to speak with the monster.

As his eyes adjusted, he looked around for any sign of Mario but his arms fell once he realized he didn't show.

'He promised..'

Luigi stepped forward to greet the king, but the princess rested her hand on his chest, "Just a moment, Luigi.."

She pulled him aside, but let go once she noticed his discomfort in the slight contact.

"T-Thank you... Princess.", He fumbled. His gaze trailed off to the large beast. Bowser's arms were folded as he was waiting for their conversation to end. His eyes lit up a bit once he noticed the human's gaze and impatiently tapped his foot, irritated at the delay.

"Oh- sorry. Um, your brother is... um... Taking his time in understanding your decision.", she began.

He looked confused, "I know that Princess, it doesn't mean I can't worry about how he's handling it."

Peach was taken aback by his forwardness and he covered his mouth in response. "I-It's not to say that you don't care about him either, your highness! I'm sure you're just as concerned too!"

She giggled a bit at his frantic response, "There's no harm in speaking your mind, Luigi. I'm glad you're finally comfortable saying what you'd like. I just wanted you to know that, it's as I said yesterday: it's your decision.", she paused and gave him a soft smile.

"If you need anything, or even wish to return earlier than what was agreed on, you can always send a letter and we'll negotiate better terms more suited for you.", she noted. She raised her hand out for him to shake, but he shook his head politely.

"Good. I'll try to reason with Mario in the meantime.", She replied. "Stars knows he's going to need the support and go outside once in a while."

"I'll be sure to give it some thought...", Luigi sighed.

"Can we hurry this up?! We don't have all night!", Bowser rumbled.

They laughed a bit at the comment before exchanging pained smiles.

"Take care of him for me, I-"

The Queen flinched, "R-Right! Um Princess..".

Luigi and Peach bowed to one another before he scurried over to Bowser's side. The Koopa king merely gave him a disapproved glance, "Your brother not here to see you off?"

Luigi didn't respond and braced the heat from the ship as he tried to step in.

Luigi shook his head nearly too scared to speak, "A-Anyways, where are we going?"

"I asked you a question, it'd be in your best interest to respond.", he rumbled.

"Or else the moment the ship's gates close, you'll have burns to remind you of your place.", Bowser murmured.

Bowser smirked, "Out."

He and his guards made their way inside with Luigi stammering Bowser as he followed.

"How did you know I was here?!", Mario gasped. His body tumbling out of the bushes. She kneeled down, and wiped away a leaf from his hat.

As the entrance closed and the castle began to ascend, a look of disappointment fell upon Peach's face. She looked over at her side and scoffed.

"You could've said goodbye..."

"You're one to talk, but fair point.", He got up and dusted himself off. "Thanks for not telling him..."

"I have my ways plus patches of red clothes peeking through green bushes are a dead giveaway. It's too dark to be wearing bright colors.", She chuckled.

"I didn't need to, I think he saw you too.", Peach teased as she headed towards the castle.

"No way! I'm not that bad at hiding.", He protested. "And besides, I just.. I was just keeping my promise to him as much as it infuriates me to see him leave with that...that overgrown turtle. I didn't want to escalate things.."

"Wait.. I have an idea..", the plumber smiled. "I know how to get my brother back!"

"How noble of you.", she replied. "But you do know that it's not the same as seeing him off face to face."

Mario tipped his hat as he followed, "Yeah yeah.."

"You don't have to fully support him, but at least respect his decision.."

"What?? No, Mario, are you listening?"

"Oh boy.."

"I'll see you in the morning, Princess!"

Before she could repeat herself, he ran off with a determined grin on his face. She shook her head as he was out of view then turned back to the flying ship in the distance.

"And this is where you'll be staying."

Luigi's jaw dropped in awe as he looked around the low lamp-lit room.

The door creaked open to a large carpeted room filled with decor of various sizes and shapes. Portraits of Bowser and his family were above a large velvety bed and on either side were nightstands with black draped lamps.

The dresser was as tall as the bed frame and beside it was the door in which he later found to be his private bathroom.

"U-Uhm, thank you. I-"

"Be ready when the guards get you. Because of your little ceremonial goodbyes, we'll be 30 minutes late. Get comfortable or whatever you humans do and don't mess up anything.", The Kamek mentioned. "Oh, and put on the jewelry left on the dresser. I suggest you catch some rest before we arrive."

"Well, bye-"

He turned around to see the small guy already putting on the jewelry.

"W-Wait!", Luigi said rushing over. "C-Could you at least stay and um, keep me company?"

Kamek took a deep breath and smiled, causing a shiver to crawl up the queen's spine.

"Let's get one thing straight, mustached human. You are here as the king's prisoner, you may hold the title in the place of his Queen for the next year. However starting from this night on. This agreement is merely a punishment." he noted.

The small magikoopa took his leave and hobbled towards his broomstick.

"A punishment....", Luigi repeated.

The Koopa guards hurled in and piled his luggage to the side. He watched them while sitting on the bed twiddling his thumbs. He gapped his mouth open to say something but shut it when the door slammed behind the last Troopa.

"Thanks...", He sighed to himself. Luigi hopped off the bed and looked towards the small window. 'Was this a mistake?..'

He got up from the bed, his cape flowing swiftly behind him as he stepped over the scattered toys and to the window. Despite how slow the castle seemingly moved, he still felt a gentle breeze in flow against his face, the curtain feathering his shoulders and slicked back hair. He looked back at the Mushroom Kingdom and sighed as he shook his head to focus on the stars.

"I'm such an idiot... I'm so sorry, Mario."

An hour passed and Luigi was settling in nicely or as nice as he could for the moment. Even though he couldn't leave the room, he took the time to clean up the toys and fold his clothes to put them away. As he was setting down a towel in the cabinet under the large sink. He heard the door open and a low snarl coming from the room.

"HEY, GREEN ONE! WHERE ARE YOU?!" the voice roared.

Luigi's breath hitched before he carefully rushed out of the bathroom, "I'ma here! Did you uh.. need something?"

"A guard saw you weren't there and informed me. What were you doing?!"

"J-Just putting my things away.."

"Well whatever, we're here. You can do all of that later. Then fix up your nest."

"Nest?"

"I mean bed! Could you shut it and get your cape on so we can go!?", Bowser snapped. His scarlet eyes glaring down at the quivering man. Luigi picked up the cape and clipped the front of it carefully. Bowser's symbol, in polished rubies, shined brightly on the broach.

"S-Sorry, I was just-a curious.", He mumbled.

Bowser grumbled, turning his attention to the corridor and stomped his way down the hall. Luigi slipped out of the room and followed quietly. The King, only glanced back once or twice to see his Queen stumbling to keep up with him and his guards. "Ugh, could you move ANY slower?"

"Sorry, the heels are a bit..." Luigi trembled.

Bowser rolled his eyes and told him he didn't care. "Just hurry up."

Finally catching up as they stopped at the entrance.

The mouth slowly opened to cackling and laughter.

'A mansion?'

Swirling around a battered up mansion, were ghosts of all kinds. Florescent lime and plum flames adorned the candle walkway as guests entered. Shy guys of various shapes, sizes, and power-ups flooded through the crooked steel gates. Their Captain followed promptly with his armada, not before tipping his hat to the King, who merely gave a reassuring nod and somewhat of a soft smile.

'If only Mario could see this! Wow, he'd be so ready to... Nevermind.' Luigi thought. Shooing away the thought, he looked up at the King even more confused than ever.

Bowser smiled a bit, "A few of my allies heard news of me having a queen and wanted to celebrate. I'm also here to renew some treaties with them, it's easier to do it this way. It eases the tension.".

Luigi noticed the smile growing as Bowser looked out at the guest. He'd never seen him this relaxed and at home before.

The King looked down to see Luigi give an 'ok then' smile at him. He cleared his throat and his smile vanished, "W-Well, we should head inside. Gotta let King Boo know we're here."

Bowser stepped down from the jaw and extended his claw out to Luigi. Taken by surprise, Luigi stared at it for a moment then at Bowser's hopeful, soft look.

"T-Thank you", Luigi murmured, taking his claw and hopping down. He stumbled a bit, but Bowser swiftly balanced him using his other claw.

The sudden contact made Luigi shiver, not because of the nightly breeze, but because the King's formalities were throwing his senses off.

'Why is he being nice to me now? He locked me in my room for an hour and barely spoke to me!'

The two made their way down the stone brick pathway, many of Luigi's previous enemies looking at the two in confusion. He heard a pair of Dry bones whispering behind him as they neared the "castle".

"Did the King really marry him ?", One stammered.

"Looks like it? Or maybe it's his prisoner?"

"He's too dressed up to be a prisoner, Frankie."

"Yeah yeah, unless-"

Bowser halted then snarled as he looked back at the two, "One more word and I'll PULVERIZE YOU BOTH TO ASHES!"

"B-Bowser, we should just-"

"QUIET!", he roared.

Luigi immediately let go of his claw and took a few steps back.

"Dramaaa..."

Bowser looked around at the few Koopas, Bo-ombs, ghosts, Goombas, Spikeys,Shy guys and boos staring at him. He grumbled then looked back at Luigi who was now trembling from the sudden attention.

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT!" he growled. "THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! QUIT STARIN'! ". Smoke and sparks began to conjure as the crowd went back to filing in.

Kamek, hearing the commotion, flew out on his broomstick towards Bowser. "Sire.. Please, we're trying to keep your allies happy."

The King rolled his eyes as he huffed. "Let's just get inside." Bowser gritted through his teeth.

All Luigi could do was follow behind the quaking steps Bowser made. He was reminded why his disbelief in the beast's kindness was so grounded.

'What if he is one temper tantrum away from hurting everyone? What if he kills me before this year ends?! Or h-he doesn't let me see my family!?'

His eyebrows began to furrow as he was lost in thought, worrying for the safety of himself and others he held dear. But before he could open his mouth to speak, he heard loud thumps coming from behind another set of doors. Small flashes of purple, green and blue were seeping through cracks in the door.

As they opened, Luigi's mouth flung open at the sight.

'A-A dj?! Lights?! Snack tables?! Rave and rock music?! Are they allowed to chug that much- oh my gosh are they swinging from chandeliers?!'

Bowser had already made his way towards the VIP lounge with Luigi following behind, his awe from the large crowds to the fear he felt hearing Boos laughing and cackling behind him. He couldn't wrap his head around any of what he was seeing and the blaring music didn't help either. Kamek started to follow, but deviated once he saw an old friend, "I'll catch up."

Pushing past the large black velvet curtains he saw a hefty Boo, with a gleaming purple crown sharing a laugh with Bowser.

"You REALLY have a queen?! I thought your wedding was a bust!", The ghost chuckled. "Some of my spies even noticed that you kissed the mustache of the fake! HA!"

"Erm...", Bowser grumbled. "Yeah yeah, laugh it up! Technically, he is my Queen. It's a traditional thing.."

"Oh c'mon, since when were you one for tRraDItiOn~ You're the same Koopa that nearly sacrificed the Kong AND Penguin army as a wedding gift!"

Bowser huffed and noticed Luigi slowly making his way over. "Speaking of my Queen. Here he is!"

The Boo King eyed Luigi, "What's with you and humans, huh?". He slowly floated over to Luigi and distorted his face while cackling.

Luigi began to shake and even started panting while grabbing the leather seating from the large pattern of holes on the face. "S-Stop it!!"

Bowser lowered his eyelids, unimpressed. "Cut it out."

King Boo laughed and flew back to his seat, "At least Peach would've held her ground. Where'd you find this wuss?! Oh wait, you didn't!". He snorted, "You married 'im without checking!"

Bowser's chest began to rumble as his mouth slowly heated with flames. Luigi was trying to take deep breaths while his heart was quickening, but the shock and his phobia overcame him.

He was in motion to sprinting out the room, when Bowser yanked his arm, "We aren't done, you need to listen to the agreements in the treaty. As my queen-"

"L-Let go!"

"Do. NOT embarrass me right now! Not in front of-"

"Bowser, I said let go! Please!"

"Why can't you just sit still!"

"LET GO OF ME YOU SHITTY LIZARD!"

Flare rose in his nostrils, the anger that seeped to the hardened gems of his eyes quickly gleaned fire red. His claws clenched down harder and deeper into Luigi's arm, a bruise slowly forming.

Luigi's breath escaped him, it left him gasping at the pain and tears swelling in his eyes.

King Boo's eyes gleaned with excitement, not uttering a word as to not ruin the scene.

"DON'T YOU F*CKING INTERRUPT ME! GOT IT?!", Bowser roared, a bit of the flames escaping his mouth as he yelled. Luigi nodded as he hiccuped and felt the tears drench his 'stache. Flashes of King Boo's distorted face haunting him as he clenched his eyes shut.

"Good!", The King released him and with a thud, Luigi fell to the floor. He held his bruised arm close and as he struggled to his feet, dashed out the curtains and into a dark hallway away from the music. The booming, the lights, the images and the intense pain combined only increased his tears as he sank to the ground trying to calm down.

Bowser grumbled then cleared his throat. He shifted his collar and turned to King Boo, who was grinning ear to ear.

"I just love it when I can scare the living souls out of beings! But you, oh marvelous King Koopa, take the cake! The look on his face-"

"Just sign the papers."

"But you-"

"Sign!", The Koopa snapped as he got up and towered over King Boo.

The King of the Boos was intrigued, but to not push further, called for one of his spies and began going through the paperwork with Bowser.

Kamek flew in shortly after and looked reassured seeing the Captain of the Shy guys join the two.

Looking around the lounge he noticed the absence of the small man. Flying to his son, he tapped him, "Sire, where is the Queen?"

"Huh? Oh, out there somewhere or something."

"And why is he not in here with you? Do you know how much trouble he could get into?"

"Pssh... He ruined the vibes and ran off. I have more important matters to attend to."

Kamek sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breath, "Did you upset the Queen, your majesty?"

Bowser rolled his eyes and pouted a bit, "He couldn't just sit still and just listen. I'm trying to show him how to help me rule this kingdom and yet he'd rather run off! He doesn't listen, he's slow and got scared at mere holes! He needs to know his place if he ever thinks of escaping!"

"Sire, I don't think he'd ever do that. Unless he'd want to face your wrath. However did you ever consider, just maybe, that he needed some space? Quite a lot has happened in the past few hours for him."

Bowser snorted and some smoke shot from his flared nostrils. "I gave him a day! How much time does a human need to accept he's my Queen?!"

"Sire...", Kamek groaned, rubbing his temple.

The King's scales rivaled in the lack of an answer, he could sense he was missing something, but saw absolutely nothing wrong with his outburst.

"We'll discuss this later, Kamek! Find him and bring him to me. We'll be finishing up soon to introduce the Queen to the citizens."

"Yes, your highness...", Kamek sighed. "Think about what I said at least. Not everyone is as easy to accept change as you are, sire."

Bowser watched him fly out and huffed.

'Why should I have to care about his feelings? He's here to do what I tell him to do! King Boo was just messing around, I see no issues with it so neither should he! Yeah...!'

[pet-pet-peet]

Can i request ace, floyd, cater, and kalim with a shy introverted crush (who is like idia minus the otaku part) that avoids them at all costs becuz of their extroverted and high energy nature?

Idk how extroverts do it, but I have to like- take a break from my friends sometimes because they have such high energy- Not in, like, a mean way, just to refill my battery, you know?

I am trying to go through my drafts and post the ones I had done, this will not be inspired by canon!

Tw: some very slight hints of angst, but otherwise very fluffy

Pairing(s): Ace, Floyd, Cater, Kalim x gn reader who is a shy introvert (separate)

𝕬𝖈𝖊

You two were quite close since he was good at breaking you out of your shell

Your shyness never bothered him, he thought it was cute and just saw you as wholesome- granted, that didn't help any teasing that was thrown your way

He knew of his crush on you, but didn't let it affect his behavior since he didn't want to accidentally make you feel awkward or bad

He always had that joyful feeling around you, always looked forward to seeing you everyday

So it hit him hard when he noticed you were avoiding him

At first he would be bitter, telling himself that you didn't want to be his friend anymore, but he eventually started to be more sad about it

He would approach you about why you were avoiding him, wanting to get his thoughts off his chest

When you bashfully explained you were just shy because you were developing feelings for him

He laughs at you, making you shrink further into yourself until he wrapped an arm around your shoulder

He asks what took you so long, smile getting wider the more relaxed you became with his affection

𝕱𝖑𝖔𝖞𝖉

He's very affectionate already, but he's especially affectionate with you

He's always got an arm around you when he's with you, and he asks your opinion on everything

It can be a bit overwhelming for you, since you're a major introvert, but his intention is to make you feel seen

He feels annoyed when people overlook you, so he'll end up bringing you into discussions with him

This is probably why you started avoiding him, but he didn't take it very well at all

He was in a terrible mood, especially at work in the Lounge, refusing to take part in his responsibilities

Jade eventually found you and requested you spoke with him, since no one else has been able to help him out of his funk

You approach Floyd and ask him what was wrong, but he acts cold and flips the question back at you

He explains his frustrations until you shyly interject and let him know your true feelings, why you avoided him

He switches his mood quickly, squishing your cheeks and saying that you didn't have to worry him like that

𝕮𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖗

He's very blatantly a flirt, but when it comes to you he's more intense

Probably doesn't show much of his interest in you otherwise, he's very secretive about how he feels as a defense mechanism

It doesn't make him treat you much differently, he just swallows down how he feels so he doesn't get hurt

His flirting can get overwhelming, though- especially when he takes surprise pictures with you for Magicam

He doesn't approach you when he figures out that you're avoiding him, he feels it would've happened eventually

If he starts to notice your true emotions, however long it may take, it'll push him to start interacting with you again

He'll see his feelings as more valid and uses the opportunity to win you over more

He confesses to you by taking another sneaky pic and posting it on Magicam, putting you in the caption as his s/o

You'll have to confront him about it, but he's definitely messing with you as you question him in a flustered tone about your relationship

He likes talking about you on Magicam from then on, asking if you would do a lot of the couple's challenges or tags with him

𝕶𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖒

He's pursuing you like a loyal puppy and honestly is the most obvious with how he feels

He definitely tells you that he loves you all the time, smiling very wide when you fluster from his words

Very patient with you and your shyness and will definitely speak up for you if you need him to ("excuse me, they asked for no pickles" energy)

You'll try to avoid him, but it takes a while for him to get that and he'll approach you all the time anyway

When he does notice your attempts to avoid him, he gets a bit sad and wonders if he did anything wrong

Probably tries to make you something food-wise to apologize and will bring it to your dorm

He has such a sad but adorable pout as he holds out his dish to you, asking if you could forgive him-

When you tell him about needing time away to gather your feelings for him, his smile returns and he agrees to give you space

Very happy to accept any feelings you have for him, he'll ask if he can throw a party to celebrate your decision

Won't if you ask him not to and just settles with taking you with him on a magic carpet ride instead

[herunswithscissors]

I'm the wife in my marriage.

It's funny to me anyway. Funny to me because my wife is the very picture of femininity, loving, caring, sexy, pretty, beautiful wife, loving and adored by all her children. And a satisfied and hot for her husband.

But to me she is beautiful and terrible as the Dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!

And yet she chose me.

So to all the hella ladies who rejected my advances? Y'all missed out. Because she saw in me what way too many people couldn't. And sometimes still can't.

And she wants to run my life. And the lives of our whole family. And we all kinda love it. Mostly. But it ain't worth the headache or heartache of fighting her on anything. She's Daddy's little princess and her mother is the loving matron and queen bitch of the family and we all stay in line. Mostly. I love to do my own thing too much for my own good. But it keeps our fights about stupid stuff instead of my weed use again.

(I'm dead ass functional and present from 6am on till I finally get my insomniac ass too sleep while high just to escape the constant anxiety about my sick daughter's upcoming surgery, my dying suegro, my mourning wife, disturbed autistic son, special needs princess Daddy's girl I'm spoiling her to death to make her just as powerful and ungovernable mother and it's working too well already. Have you ever negotiated with a hostile bitchy entitled as fuck child? )

Anyway, you wouldn't know it looking at me or talking normal chitchat, but I'm pretty fucking manly. In the way my culture defines manliness. I'm not very masculine. But I'm very manly.

I'm feminine as fuck in my household. I mother the kids, help their emotional development, work on my wife's emotional and mental well-being, and I'm the one never in the mood for sex. And I do every single thing she says. And then she does the discipline and management of the family's affairs. And she's the one who has to seduce me. Did I mention she was sexy as fuck? (While I'm awkward as fuck every time we even roleplay.) And a horny Latina. (That's why these horny sexy, nice, Latinos are taking over. It's natural selection. The Whites just can't compete and as usual are getting their panties in a twist over not being able to compete even with everything in their favor to out reproduce them all but it was too many kids for a nuclear family to handle Whites.) So beautiful hot queen sexy as fuck Latina seduces me every night. #blessed. So fuck yeah I don't wanna fuck up this arrangement. So I do everything she tells me to and treat her real good and let her win every argument and over apologize. Except when I make a rare exception to make a stand in something important or just to make some trouble and have some fun.

Oh yeah. She's a clean freak 😮‍💨 But she's an impatient Latina housewife perfectionist clean freak. So she gets mad at my perfectly good job when company isn't ever coming job and tells me to stop even trying to clean. Go play Minecraft with your daughter to keep her occupied.🤣

I have the best living situation ever. I'll be your bitch my bitchy highness. Just please keep playing with my hair on your lap. Oh, and that sucking my dick the way you do and being right 95% of the time on judgement calls.

So yeah I'm the wife.

And I got a pretty good life.