#i was going to die if i didnt draw lamb

[chaosdemortem]

i tried to draw lamby... but how i imagine them

i do not usually draw animals or animal adjacent things... i will get there

[caramelldansenu]

[theskyiscorn]

Taking on the internet, more dangerous than you think. Preface, none of this is a relection of the original artist or thier work, just thoughts inspired by their work's concepts.

I remeber reading a NariLamb fanfiction on AO3 (who's name eludes me and I can not find it) which obviously center on the angst. Now, at the time of reading this story was still in its infancy, like 2-3 chapters, but what it established was a theme of broken trust. Primarily from Narinder towards Lamb. Now, obviously, he always feels betrayed for "stealing my godhood" but what I found different and exciting, was that it was specifically, Narinder hating the Lamb's lack of trust in him.

I believe the story had prefaced Narinder's downfall as him wanting to assuage mortals fears of death through resurection. Like, he was a necessary part of life, it's end, and he found it frustrating and disheartening that when mortals died, all they seemed to do was beg for more life, for more time, for him to "go away" for longer. Death was his domain, it was who he was, and he was doing his best, but people where only ever afraid of him.

Then comes Lamb, who was very devoted and unafraid of him as their patron. Narinder got his hopes up, that someone finally understood. He belived that he hsd found someone who did not fear him, who understood his necessity and wanted to serve for that purpose, rather than to earn his favor to stave him off.

Then Lamb betrays him, "because they didn't want to die", and it hurt him. It hurt him because it told Narinder Lamb didn't trust him as their god. That they, his prophet, didn't trust Narinder with their afterlife. They had preachdd his word, spoke his glory, shared to gospel of death and why one should not fear it, and when it came time to die, they refused. They took up arms against him. The one person who was suppose to accept what he was, maybe even love him and convince others of to do the same, didnt truly trust him. And that hurt like hell.

What does this have to do with the artists work? It gives me that same vibe, but with a different twist. Narinder here spent 1000 years chained up by the people he loved and trusted. Then the Lamb comes, his promised 'Liberator', and in the final moments, they turn on him, take his power, his title, and leave him with nothing. If someone wants to chain him again, they don't have to over power a God to do so now, anyone can, he's easy prey. And that must be terrifying for him.

Trust in those he may or may not care about, utterly shattered. Ability to direct his own life, gone. Agency and choice, illusion at worst, pity at best. His own, personal hell that he lived in for 1000 years, is now a cage that looms over him at all times, and he has no strength to stop it should it come for him, no course of action to escape, no hope of liberation. And the person who holds that power betrayed him once, and may hate him (in his mind). No shit he's scared, the only delay action he can take is avoidance, stay out of attention and hope trouble never finds him.

And I find it fascinating for a story. If Lamb had promised Narinder and not themselves they would not look in his mind, which is yet another vulnerability he must suddenly content with, that would be even worse.

Anyways, that's my thought dump on all of you, and the drawing that made it resurface. Thanks by!

Took a few days but BEHOLD MORE NARI ANGST/WHUMP

Was thinking about trod Narinder being secretly in love with Lamb the whole time and the fact that Narinder most definitely has trust issue and fears of being mortal now

So with those two trains of thought combined, I wanted to explore… other hidden feelings he might have towards the lamb… 👀💧

Eat well, my flock, Cult of Nari Babygirls tm 🤲

[ji-yaaan]

𝕯𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖊 𝕸𝖆𝖈𝖆𝖇𝖗𝖊

A Lilia Vanrouge x Reader Oneshot

Note: Jk guys this is just a drabble I made while I drank a bitter gross black coffee just for kicks :'( Also this is my first time making a fanfic so yes, it's kinda OoF and is probably bad but why not? Emirite???? This is the last braincells I have and I hope y'all enjoy it :'))))))

Mistakes were made under the cut!^~^

It was a peaceful afternoon with the beautiful sunset hues that illuminated your room. Ah..... how nice, the room feels alive again a smile graced your lips, as a silent creak of the door alerted you that someone has come to your room. You knew well who that person is. Just by thinking about him makes your heart flutter. "Lilia, love!" You cheerfully exclaimed at the small fae that stood before you."I'm back, little lamb." he smiled.

A moment of silence passed by, with you and Lilia looking at each other's eyes. Just by the view of the beautiful fae illuminated with rose tinted hues was enough to give you butterflies. Ah..... as expected from my lover! you thought. The two of you basked in the soft light that illuminated your room, how peaceful this moment is...

But that peace was soon broken when the fae said "I'm sorry my love..... I still haven't found the potion yet..... But worry not. I have taken care of the bastard that dares to mock-"

"shhhhhhh" you silenced the fae. "Everything's alright.... but can we talk about more happy things? If I were to die at any moment, I'd like to experience the most happiest moments in life in each passing second!" You jokingly said.

You sigh in dissapointment as you recall of the events that have unfolded a month ago. It was just a normal and happy day for you. You were so excited to visit the Diasomnia Dorm and most importantly, your lover, Lilia Vanrouge. This expedition of you was a normal occurence, rather, a routine that started when you started to like Lilia. But something feels weird, the Diasomnia dorm is awfully quiet today.....Your mind went blank, as a bright light blinded your eyes, you felt a sharp painful sensation in your chest, that caused you to faint.

Now why were you targeted? That is an obvious question to be answered "Because you are closeley affiliated with malleus and I. I didnt know there are still morons in this world that are stupid enough to mess with us, moreover, they harmed you...." Lilia said with anger and pain present in his eyes and a dark expression covering his face.

You woke up in a unfamiliar room, and to your demise, Malleus said the bright light that hit you was a curse resulting eventual death upon the victim. Thankfully, Malleus was there to stop the curse..... But not entireley. Magic can only do so much for a strong ancient curse.

Soon, day went by, weeks went by, with Lilia trying to find the potion to cure his lover, only to be left empty handed each time he comes home. It's an ancient curse that requires a certain potion in order to break it, naturally with ancient curses, the cure is very hard to find. That's why in the few remaining days of your life, you wished to make the most of it.

Waking up was difficult due to the fact that you knew you could die any momet, it was a happy and scary feeling..... You were thankful you woke up from slumber, but at the same time, you were afraid that you might dissapear from the world in any moment..... It sure was a mind baffling experience.

But now, you feel like you've reached your limit. It feels like your nightmare is finally taking form. Your eyelids are growing heavy from strain, your body is starting to feel numb minute after minute, and eternal slumber threatens to devour you in any moment. But there you are, staring straight at Lilia, the most precious person in your life. You feel alive again.

"(Y/n) I love you" Lilia said as your lips curl up to form a weak smile "I know..... But i love you more! hehe" Your knees started to feel weak and you fell unto the ground. Your hands started to feel numb as you cough up blood.

As odd as it sounds, this occurence is normal now, due to the fact that you are walking in the border between life an death.

The crimson blood that laced your fingers made you chuckle, it reminded you of Lilia's beautiful eyes that sparkled like rubies. Soon enough, those eyes are now looking at you with worry and demise clearly present in the fae's eyes. "Hehe, Lilia I think I'm starting to feel a bit drowsy now. But I dont want to sleep yet, can we dance?" You left out a weak laugh trying your hardest to look happy and strong in front of lilia's eyes. To your surprise, you see Lilia with a pained expression you've never seen before. "Dear, what have you done to me? You're just a weak little human that piqued my interest before. But look where we are now, I just averted my eyes for a brief second, and now they did this to you because of me.....I-....... Promise me that in your next lifetime, don't flock yourself with dangerous people like me alright?" A whine escaped you lips as your vision started to get blurry from the tears that are welling up in your eyes... "Hey Lilia darling, I just asked you for a dance right? I won't look cool if you turn me down like this..."

Frustration, worry, anger, and guilt welled up in Lilia's heart as his dear (y/n) stared at him sitting on the ground in front of him. He truly felt guilty that he was the reason why his lover ended up like that. (Y/n) deserves better than this. he thought. But now, he is so frustrated to see his darling helplessly smiling at him, pretending that everything is alright. It pained him to see his love slowly succumbing to the hands of death. A danse macabre indeed..

The look of strain and fatigue plastered all over (y/n)'s face made his heart drop. Lilia then stood up on his feet and asked "(y/n) darling, May I have this dance?"

Lilia then picked you up with your hands and the both of you waltz across the large bedroom illuminated by the bright hues of the sky, with lilia humming a familiar tune, you felt very relaxed in his grasp, you thought to yourself it would be nice if time were to stop at this moment, how romantic..... You giggled at your silly thoughts of a pipedream. "What is it little lamb? Falling for me harder now huh?" You started giggling like a little girl with Lilia's comment.

That is until a sharp pain in you chest started devouring you, making your legs feel numb and weak as the two of you fell onto the soft sheets of your bed. The look of pain plastered all over your face, with each second that passed, it feels like hell is devoring your soul,but when you look up, you see lilia with his worried and pained expression, his eyes glossy due to tears forming in his eyes. his biggest fear has finally begun to unfold right before his eyes. On the other hand, you felt your body started to grow numb with each second.

Pinning you from the bed, Lilia grabs your hand and squeeze it tightly, you felt like your fingers could break any second, but oddly enough, it felt pleasant and reasuring this pain is the feeling of being alive huh? Thank God I'm still alive you thought to yourself. "Dont go (y/n)! you're not allowed to leave me." Salty tears fell on your cheeks, as you felt your heart dropped feeling weak in death's grasp. The fae trailed kisses after kisses in your neck, tears began to fall, as his voice cracked and said "(y/n) , in all the years I've lived, you are the best thing that happend to me, you made me feel alive again, you're the most precious person I love, and I will keep you in my heart forever, I love you so much....... please don't forget that" hearing this is one of the best feelings in the world, you truly felt that it would be nice to die like this........ But maybe... just maybe... you can stay just for a bit longer.

"Lilia, if I ever get to have the power to go back in time where I first got here in twisted wonderland, do you know what I'd do? I would change nothing! Hehe! I would gladly meet you again and love you again! That would be like a treat for me! I get to relive all the best moments of my life all over again. I won't ever regret loving you, my darling....." A weak smile formed in your lips as you continued "if I were to get reincarnated, I wish that I will meet you and love you all over again! So you've gotta wait for me! And...... I love you too lilia Vanrouge senpai..." A dull pain in your chest started to hurt you again but soon enough, Lilia pressed his lips unto yours, tasting the salty tears mixed with the distinct flavor of licorice, you chuckled to yourself. The two of you embraced watching the sun finally set.

As the sky turned dark with the stars twinkling in the sky. "Lilia, you know, I feel very sleepy now, I'm really tired now..." You felt Lilia embrace you tighter as your vision gets blurry, and you feel every part of you has now grown numb.

"I hope you dream lots about me my sweet little (y/n)....." Your senses are now starting to shut down as you feel eternal slumber could devour you any moment "I love you lilia..." You finally felt you've crossed the border between life and death

"I love you too..." A weak smile graced your face as the cold night finally settled in.....

-The End-

So yes guys, this is me chilling here trying to delay and procrastinate on the rotting fanarts I'm making. If i look at my drawings, they would look at me judging my dumb decisions but oh well......