#i was destined to support clownery

[corigauff]

​the og remontada made me realize I was waaaay more of a PSG fan than a Bartha one and every CL since has proven either way, I would’ve been buying tickets to the circus

[tauremornalome]

so, while it's obviously not 100% true to the mandarin original, i counted how many times the word "fuck" appears in the ExiledRebels translation of MDZS (which i think most of the anglophone fandom is familiar with, and bases their takes on characters upon) and here are the results:

1. wei wuxian: 17 fucks said aloud + 3 "thought to himself" = record 20 fucks

2. the narrator: 11 fucks (9 of them to describe sexual acts)

tied for the third place:

3. jiang cheng: 9 fucks (way less than i expected of him tbh)

3. xue yang: 9 fucks (establishing the record of fucks per chapter in the extra "villainous friends")

4. wen chao: 2 fucks (surprisingly this is shouting at wang lingjiao and his servants)

characters who said fuck once: a-qing, nie huaisang, jin ling, anxin (a prostitute from meng shi's brothel), jin guangyao, two random cultivators in a tavern, he su, yunmeng jiang shidis

which all sums up to 59 f-words in the translation of the novel

some of my favourite fucks under the cut

starting with wei wuxian in chapter 2, commenting on mo xuanyu's situation (he's right):

The words on the paper were small and compact, which hurt Wei WuXian's eyes. He thought to himself, "How fucked up is this person's life?"

11/10 this use of the f-word is very much justified, poor mo xuanyu :(

next on the list: xue yang in chapter 40, upon meeting song lan:

"For once I actually wanted to shop for food, and here you fucking are, spoiling my mood!"

understandable, 9/10 (this doesn't get full notes because i like song lan and this is not fucking ideal for him either :c)

next we have this gem, nie huaisang in chapter 49:

Nie HuaiSang roared at Nie MingJue, "Saber, saber, saber! Who the fuck wants to practice the damn thing?!"

100/10 holy shit!! nie huaisang is braver than any u.s. marine, roaring at his easily irritable jock brother the famous chifeng-zun about not giving a damn about their family legacy

this cute fragment from chapter 55, wangxian in the xuanwu cave:

"And now, we finally have it dead, and the son-of-a-bitch made the hole collapse. Fuck!"

Hearing the 'fuck', Lan WangJi's brows twitched. He wanted to say something, but held it in.

8/10, kudos for calling the xuanwu of slaughter 'son of a bitch'

shoutout to jiang cheng's first use of the word fuck, which appears in chapter 73 (burial mounds flashback):

"I'm the one who fucking wants to give you a thrashing!"

directed obviously at wei wuxian. 5/10, i'm slightly disappointed, please support your brother through his necromancy phase

next, jin ling in chapter 98, must have been picking up bad words from his jiujiu:

"Fairy! Come back! Fuck!"

6/10 you're your uncle's nephew i guess but that's not how a 13 year old should talk to his dog >:(

coming next jiang cheng with his heartbreaking rhetorical question (chapter 102 - he really is having a rough time):

"Why do I have to feel like I'm a fucking clown all these years?!"

12/10, i think this is the only place in the novel where a character acknowledges the general clownery happening around them

followed by jc in chapter 104:

[JGY talking to WWX] "Someone like you is destined to have a short life. You see? Doesn't it feel a lot better if you think about it this way?"

Jiang Cheng raged, "You're the one who's got a fucking short life!"

10/10, a great sentence to say + he's defending his shixiong!!

jin guangyao's last words, as presented in chapter 108:

"Fuck you, Nie MingJue! You think I'm really scared of you?! I..."

and then he died. 3/10

wei wuxian being mean to lan zhan about the phoenix mountain incident (or rather about the fact that lwj thought wwx had plenty of ~experience~) in 111:

"Are you an idiot, Lan Zhan?! You fucking believed all that nonsense!"

4/10 i would say he's hurting lwj's innocent ears with swearing but next chapters are full of wwx begging lan zhan to fuck him, sooo...

xue yang making an epic come back in chapter 118, starting with critique of jin guangyao's interior design:

[about Suibian] "What's the use of keeping a fucking piece of decoration?"

6/10 i know xiao xingchen is blind but i'm sure he would appreciate some decorations in your cosy little house in yi city, not everything has to serve a purpose my dude

aaand in the same chapter dragging jin guangyao,

"You should've gotten a mirror and looked at your face. That smile was nasty. It was so fucking fake I could throw up."

15/10 accurate assesment

aaaaaand we're finishing with this slice of everyday life at lotus pier, yunmeng jiang shidis in chapter 125 reacting to wwx and jc arguing:

The shidi all complained, "Fight outside if you have to!" Please fuck off together, won't you? We're begging you!"

13/10 this is why i love the jiang sect. show me ONE lan disciple who would tell their sect heir and first disciple to fuck off. su she doesn't count

Thank you for your attention, I love science, while writing fic remember to have wwx swear like a sailor, also remember nie huaisang shouting "fuck sabres!" to nmj's face

[anais-shirley]

AWAE Spoilers - S3E6 review (mostly rants about Gilbert)

I’m not disappointed, nor sad. I’m MAD! The Shirbert clownery that was served is infuriating. I feel bad for putting so much emotion on that dance scene, and I felt Anne’s distress. 

Seeing Gilbert with Winnie at the fair was something I anticipated (the Ka’kwet theory was quite unlikely given the historical context), but the way Gilbert handled the entire situation was shameful!

Ladies and Gentlemen! The magnificent Idiotic Gilbert Blythe!

I am not mad at Gilbert’s relation with Winnie. And I’m not mad at him not reciprocating Anne’s feelings. I’m mad because he didn’t acknowledge ANY of the feelings or relation!

With Anne. HE KNOWS he has feelings for her! We ALL saw that! He even ranted about it to Bash while he was cutting carrots! He also knows (or at least guesses) that Anne had shared the same feelings with him. And he is also free to pursue her or to go for Winnie. But why does he have to behave like an idiot!? How could he think that bringing Winnie to the fair where they’ll definitely meet Anne was a good idea?!! HELLO??? Blythe, Have you already forgotten Anne or do you not care anymore? 

He didn’t feel embarrassed when he and Winnie bumped at Anne, on the contrary he looked proud and relax. He introduced Anne as a “classmate”. He didn’t even get a clue on why Anne wishes him and Winnie every happiness. Not a single good old heart eyes! He was as interesting as a dead oyster. I’m as mad as Anne, and frankly he deserves another “Anne’s Special” (this is how I call the slate breaking incident) to bring him back to his senses. But good for Anne, she could channel her anger to do justice to Josie. At least, all this frustration with Gilbert didn’t blind her to see through the little details and recognize that her friend was devastated. And the fact that she’s using the printing press for something else that it is intended to, shows that sometimes, you have to break the rules in order to bring change. I was so proud of Anne at the end of this episode!

With Winnie. We get it Blythe! Winnie is “easier to be with”. You invited her AND her parents. It’s a big deal so you want to look pretty. You score points with her dad. He even offers to help you reach your dream of studying at La Sorbonne. And yet Blythe, when you had to introduce Winnie to the Avonlea crew, you could’t even acknowledge what she was! Even though you were not expecting to marry her yet, you couldn’t acknowledge her as your girlfriend, not even “good friend”! Nothing came out of your mouth! You are pathetic, Blythe! 

Doesn’t he know that inviting your girlfriend’s parents is a big deal? Or is he using her to reach his goals? Either way, we know it’s not gonna end well. And Gilbert will be denied his dream to go to La Sorbonne when he breaks up with Winnie. I hope he’ll have the decency to initiate the break up instead of being the passive fool who gets dump. Please Gilbert, show us that you can still use your brain!

I ended up liking Winnie more than Gilbert in this episode (Yup, I said it! And I’m not ashamed!). She was considerate enough to ask Anne if she spells her name with an e or not. She is so similar to Anne in many ways, and I hope they are going to be friends, and kick Gilbert out of their cool girls club!

With everybody else. Gilbert has shown a great deal of sympathizing since the beginning of the series. He’d fight any form of injustice as much as he can, and show in action that he truly care for the others. And yet, he didn’t see Josie’s near-rape as something important to him. WTF! Have his hormones been raging so much that he forgot that girls are still human beings and not objects you can choose to ignore? He should be the first person to support Anne in her effort to defend Josie’s honor, and he failed monumentally!

Now I understand the title “the summit of my desires” in the context of this episode. That Frankenstein’s quote was taken from chapter 4, in which Victor Frankenstein finally found the solution to make his “creature” alive. Romance was the last thing that Anne had to overcome in order to become the full feminist figure she’s destined to be, and Gilbert unleashed that. Since (almost) nobody but Anne care to defend Josie, Anne will have to break the rules in order to make her point.

From a Shirbert perspective, this episode was a bummer (even worst than episode 2!), but for everything else that we love about AWAE, it was a fantastic episode. And of course, we got the Jerry and Diana kiss! Aaahh these two are breaking my heart because I can anticipate a tragedy coming for them

[coolkidstable]

it’s time to talk about losing.

last season was the best one of my life, final result included. i made some of the best friends i’ve ever known through hockey last season, and going into this one we’re closer than ever. it felt like destiny for the bruins to win the cup to cap off such an incredible year. i’d met and come to love and be loved by the literal best people in my life, so what better way to celebrate than with a cup win?

when they lost, it felt like the universe was playing a cruel joke. this was wrong. what i was seeing, the life drained out of the players as they sat and watched the blues win the cup - it wasn’t real.

only it was real, and i could feel the shock and disbelief on the red line back to my grandma’s house and in the car on the way home. you see, i’d changed my flight to return to boston a month earlier than scheduled just to go to the cup parade that never was, and that was where i was staying. i got through the initial shock by putting on trophy eyes and letting the music take me, quickly finding myself to be the calm one.

but that night - morning, really - i stayed up late talking to @spookykrug about anders bjork’s theory of colors in great detail, and @youcangay and i went down a taking back sunday rabbit hole again, and kureinen did something gay with a box so we all went nuts, and those were what really stuck with me. the clownery and love made things start to feel normal again, and while the following day was still very much a mopey one, it didn’t take long for me to get back to normal.

and now, when i think back to game 7, i don’t think of the pain and loss. i think of the love i feel for my friends and the good times we had, and how we came together that night to support each other and yeah, it’s not like we just got over it right away, but we got through it. we were already best friends, but i became even closer to jason and casey and @davidpastrnut and @noeldozer this summer, and i firmly believe the result of that game was part of that. 

our brains are wired to focus more on negative events than positive ones. they affect us more. think of it: when i say game 7, do you think of the blues or the leafs? most bruins fans would say the blues these days. one estimate i’ve heard is that it takes 5 positive events to cancel out 1 negative event, in which case we need 2 more game 7 wins against the leafs to get over this loss. give it until april 2021, then.

jokes aside, a loss brings us closer together than a win would. had the bruins won, we’d be celebrating, making memes, and clowning on leafs fans. (that wasn’t a typo). fun, of course, but not quite the same as the emotional support and love this summer instead. that doesn’t mean i’m glad we lost, but it’s a silver lining. a really good silver lining, in fact, and fuck brendon urie for suggesting those can’t be hot enough.

jokes aside, again, i hope one day we can all look back fondly on the 2018-2019 season as the year that brought us closer together, forging lifelong bonds and eternal memes. with that said, this season is looking even better for me personally bc now i have all the aforementioned friends + @spookyseankuraly and @alienklingberg. winning the cup in 2020 with anders bjork as conn smythe winner is exactly what we need to be the ultimate clowns that we and the bruins destined to be.

all of this to say: stream hello exile by the menzingers beginning at midnight tonight and ending literally never

[samueldays]

So above we have Animal Rebellion fucking up the food. Previously there was Extinction Rebellion obstructing both roads and trains, and now there's “Scientist” Rebellion continuing the clownery:

It did not quite go as planned.

.@VW told us that they supported our right to protest, but they refused our request to provide us with a bowl to urinate and defecate in a decent manner while we are glued, and have turned off the heating.

LOL, piss yourself. There is a very special kind of privileged entitlement at work there, asking for stuff from the guy you're in the process of committing crimes against.

But behind the clowning is a kind of bizarre societal inversion where the "Rebels" behave like a sort of mirror-universe-nobility: they get to abuse the commoners, stop the commoners getting to work, destroy the food of the commoners, make life harder for the commoners because it buys them a little bit of status among their fellow quasi-nobles, and on top of this ask the commoners to contribute to the Nobility Entertainment because the nobles don't have the common sense God gave a toddler...

...but if a commoner raised a hand to stop Grimalda, then it would be GUARDS GUARDS ARREST THIS MISCREANT! You can tell because the different kinds of Insert-Noun-Here Rebellion keep acting up, rather than having been jailed by police, thrown out by store security, run over with a message of "don't play in traffic, darwin award lol", or otherwise forcefully stopped.

What sort of "rebels" are you when you commit serial crimes in broad daylight? Actual rebellion would mean the police or the army drags you off when they find you, and we get to find out if you were glued down with anything stronger than sticky tape. I'm guessing not.

Grimalda might like us to believe that the Whatever Rebellion protests are special for a couple of reasons, like "civil disobedience" and "the environment". These are lies.

"Civil disobedience" is a lie because he has Babelized the term. If there ever was anything worthwhile to the term to begin with, it was exposing an overly strict society because of how harshly it punishes a petty offense, particularly one that doesn't affect anyone else - but the Thingummy Rebellions are practically the opposite, participating in a crime wave which makes life worse for a lot of other people and they get treated with kid gloves about it.

"The environment" is a lie because he uses it as the proverbial Turk uses a train: he will get off once it reaches the destination he had in mind beforehand. If you read what's at https://scientistrebellion.com/coming-actions/ there's an ongoing absence of the word "nuclear" anywhere, which would be of massive importance for actual environmental concerns, and is a well-proven technology in France, which has been getting half its electricity from nuclear power for 30 years. Instead it's shit like this, where 'clean energy' gets a passing mention in an entirely different goal:

Another interesting statement from “Scientist” Rebellion is this:

More than 70 years ago, Germany completely rebuilt itself and developed into an international role model. We appeal to that positive spirit of achieving enormous change!

Correction: More than 70 years ago, Germany was forcibly rebuilt by outside powers using immense amounts of coercion including ethnic cleansing and collective punishment of civilians. Then it was eventually allowed to resume self-government.

Which I think is coincidentally representative of what's going on with Foobar Rebellion in the present: a harmless-looking PR-friendly lie covering up that their movement is backed by a lot of external power, would be dependent on immense coercion to achieve its goals, and would make life much worse for a great many people in the process!

As a twitter sage once said, if you want even a remote chance of wielding overwhelming power well then an absolute prerequisite is that you acknowledge you are wielding overwhelming power.

I hate these people.

The watermelons are at it again.

There's something I find utterly infuriating about this that I think is about the difference between the severity of an offense and the uncertainty around an offense, because I find myself emotionally wishing these people would all die, while I intellectually know it doesn't merit death.

That's food.

That's civilian food.

Like, I can say "attacks on civilian food supplies constitute a war crime under the Geneva conventions" but my objection is not derived from the letter of the Geneva conventions, merely happens to be codified there, so I want to try spelling it out from another angle:

The primary victims here are innocents.

These #PlantBasedScumbags could go out and target a politician or a pipeline or a CEO, but then cops would be much more likely to come for them, and they know it, so instead they decided to hurt people who couldn't fight back. They had no impact on the machinery of milk production, but only made life worse for Jane Doe and Joe Average, who drink milk, or who work in the store, or who wanted to buy some other food at the store and had to step through milk. At 0:55 you see Animal-In-Black walking over to pour milk out further away across more floor.

(Speaking of "people who couldn't fight back": in addition to the pox I wish on Animal Rebellion, a second pox on the British government that has cowed its people from beating the shit out of the Animals, but which indulges the Animals. Though, arguably, Animal Rebellion is de facto government actors for that reason.)

The flacks of the environmentalist rebellions talk as though environmentalism was some moral cause of great importance on par with fighting Nazi Germany in WW2, but in that frame they act more like the kind of person who would respond to a Nazi invasion by deserting from the British Army out of fear the Nazis might shoot back, and would instead go brutalize some random German civilians.