#i was approved for work study!!! i was happy with the loans i was taking out!!!!!!! im so pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[found-the-secrets-in-your-eyes]

stupid fucking department of education stupid fucking AP credits making me a sophomore RAAAAAAAA

[pinkslaystation]

If I meant something to you.

toxic!Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader

You want him, but does he want you? Part 2 :> Part 3 :< Word Count: 2.1k

Whatever you did, you always found yourself being a disappoint to your parents.

First, it was getting rejected from the university your parents intended you to go to. Then, it was working at a job that didn't utilise your degree. And now, it's complaint after complaint for being in a 'relationship' with some they didn't approve of.

"Honey, I just don't think he's the right one for you..." Your mother complained on the phone for what felt like the thousandth time this day.

You rolled your eyes exasperatingly, happy that she couldn't see your annoyance through the call.

"Ma...you haven't even met him, I don't see why it's such a big deal, I'm finally out of your hair anyways, isn't that what you wanted?" You argued.

Everyday felt like a battle for your parent's time and affection.

Living under the shadows of your siblings was a pain. Your older sister had pursued a law degree at a top university when you were just in high school, and moved abroad to practice at one of the best law firms in the US. Your younger brother, on the other hand, was in their 2nd year studying Aeronautical Engineering at the same university as the elder. You felt like the odd one out in every field.

And here you are, stuck working in retail even though you complete your Bachelors degree in Computer Science.

Whatever you did, just was not enough for your parents.

So you saved enough money from your job, took out a small loan and made the decision to pack your bags and move to the Midlands, which was just regionally higher up than where you initially resided in your family home. How funny was it that you were the last sibling to move out?

After weeks of working your ass of at your new 8-6 job...still in retail, one silent evening after taking out the trash, you found yourself coming face to face to your neighbor.

And to say to he was attractive was an understatement. He had a tall tower-like frame, height ranging anywhere from 6'2 to 6'4, his scarred face was decorated with dirty blonde, short yet soft, hair and a slight stubble. His face, though rough, looked almost model worthy and held a permanent angry face, eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenching as if it hurt to open them.

"You got a staring problem, love?" He scoffed at you, the first time your met. You stumbled over your words, eyes wide as saucepans.

"!- we- um..who..who are you?"

The blonde chuckled at you sarcastically, "Your neighbour, Riley, you won't see as often so close that bloody mouth of yours."

And he was right, out of 7 months of living at your new flat, you'd seen him only a handful of times. You often found yourself questioning his occupation, why exactly he hangs out and about the area for a week, then just suddenly just disappears, like a ghost.

You'd learnt from the other residents that he worked within the military, whether it was the marines, the air force or the army, you never knew, until one faithful morning, you found yourself nestled against his broad warm chest, both of you hungover from the block party that all of the residents had been invited to.

"Hmm...mornin'" He grunts out at you, and the slightly reddening marks running down his neck and the bruising hand prints on your waist told you enough about the previous night.

You stiffen next to him, but his rough skin grazing against your skin urges to continue to curl up beside him.

Fast-forward another 5 months, it's been nearly a year of knowing 'Riley' and nearly a year you'd seen anyone from your family. You've always wanted to know how long they would be able to go on without you...and you'd finally got your answer.

You've learnt a lot of things about 'Riley'. For starters, his full name was Simon, though everyone in the building referred to him by his last name (you'd pestered him too much, and he finally caved in and allowed you to call him by his first name). He was almost 10 years elder to you and his striking face was usually masked with a black balaclava or those disposable ones.

"Ma, I'm happy, why can't you just be happy for me?"

"Sweetheart, why don't you come home for the weekend and we can finally meet this man. I mean since you're exclusive and everything."

"We...we're not that level yet-"

"Your older sister's getting married and she's only 4 years older than you.-"

"Why do you keep bringing her up? What's she got to do with this?"

"Honey, listen, me and your father are happy you're with someone. I mean this is the first time someone actually liked you right?"

Ouch.

"It wouldn't hurt to meet the old fella, no?"

Ah, one important part I forgot to mention.

You weren't dating Simon.

In fact, you guys never really established a relationship between the two of you. When he was home from deployment, your evening usually consisted of lazing about after work, wine in hand, Simon walking in, a few words exchanged here and there about his work-

Oh, and the night ending with a good rough fucking.

The morning would come by and you'd walk into your shift, your hickey-adorned chest and neck covered with a black turtleneck although it was the middle of August (and against the uniform policy).

So one night you decided to break away from his dominating kiss, and sit him down for a heartfelt conversation-

"Why'd you want to complicate things," he sneers, "we're just fuck buddies yeah?"

"Excuse me? So, what those 5 months didn't mean shit to you?" You scoffed, rather offended that he looked down at you, just like your family.

"You're old enough to be my kid, what make you think this was gonna go anywhere?" He stands up, lighting a smoke, knowing you hated the stench of his cigarettes in your room. It was always your room, always your flat. You can't remember the last time you even went to Simon's place, if there ever was a time.

"Who has a kid at 10? And why'd you keep fucking me? And I'm 24 fucking years old, Jesus, why does that not go through anyone's thick ass skull?!"

"Calm down love, thought this arrangement was mutual, I've got pent up frustration from the military, you're pent up 'cos no one else wants you-"

"Those nights didn't mean anything to you?"

"You don't mean anything to me." He asserts furiously. You studied him, the glimpse of that comforting man who stroked your back and kissed your forehead post-sex really wasn't there.

The fuck does this guy think he is?

"Get out."

"Done."

And he gets up and leaves, blowing a puff of smoke as if to scent the room. Just like that. Wow, was there anyone in your life that actually cared about you?

All those Wattpad stories taught you that the guy usually fights for his lover, screaming back saying that he won't leave without a fight, arguing that that the pair deserved each other. And yet, here you are, sobbing in the shower, unable to differentiate whether your body is getting soaked from the water or from the river of salty tears streaming down your dull, lifeless face, all because the guy you wanted never truly wanted you back.

You felt used, mainly your body. Rubbing yourself full of soap just caused your mind to flash back to his thick calloused hands massaging every inch of skin.

When you occasionally saw him at the building get together, which you wonder why he even attends considering he just hates and complains about everyone (everyone but you of course), you'd find yourself glued on the spot, lips quivering, tears threatening to spill again- and the throbbing. Man, the throbbing you felt between your legs. If it wasn't for his dick, you'd really be wondering why you craved him so bad, because it's definitely not his nasty personality.

And every time you open your mouth to say something to him, to call him over, to greet him, hell you should be cursing him out in front of everyone, he just stormed out with his head down with what looks like a combination of embarrassment or grief.

Until one night, you get a phone call from your older sister, the unsaved number appearing unfamiliar to you. Your hesitant to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Heyyy," She drags out her words, as if to waste time. You can tell your mother meddled in between, "So, I'm having the engagement party by the end of this month, and um...you free to come? No worries if you can't."

You pause, did she even want you there?

"Sure."

"Cool. Um, Mum says you're seeing someone, you can bring 'em if you want."

"Sure."

"Yeah, dunno if it's serious enough but there's enough space in the venue."

"Sure."

There's a pause on the other line.

"Hey can you say anything other than 'sUrE'?" She mocks you. Your eyebrow twitches in amusement.

"Did you just call to brag about you and your fancy ass engagement party? And the audacity to not send an invite, if you don't want me there, just say it. I'm not a baby anymore." You frustratingly answer.

Your sister remains quiet on the other line and you can tell you struck a nerve.

"I- listen I know we never get along but can you please come? Ma keeps mentioning you, surprisingly, and- and we haven't seen you in months, you don't even reply to the memes on the family group chat..."

You blink. "We have a family group chat?"

The rest of the month was empty, and although you were thankful for no more surprising run-ins with Simon, you missed having a warm body next to you. You learnt from one of the residents that he's been deployed for 3 weeks, this particular one shorter than others.

He confused you, Simon. He hated the idea of being in a relationship with you, yet he did 'relationship things' with you. He disliked when people assumed you two were a couple in public, but he always had his arm around you protectively. Not even education was this stressful.

And as much as you wanted to sit and let the misery marinate into your mind, you knew the date of the engagement party was nearing and you knew you couldn't come empty-handed.

By the end of the 3rd week, you knew Simon had come home, recognising the sound of the heavy footsteps entering his flat next door at 3 in the morning, you being awake from all the stress your high-maintenance sister had thrown suddenly at you. But you couldn't help but notice the sound of a softer treads following his. Maybe he got a pet?

That night, you had trouble sleeping, unsure whether it was the stress of trying to impress your family or the light sound of the headboards of next door creaking. That sound was familiar, reminding you when he was over at your place, rocking gently inside of you, though you question why he's not with you this moment. Usually you'd find him at the other side of the door, tired eyes resembling those of a stray puppy looking for a place to stay.

You close your eyes, your mind racing to the thought of the burly man on the other side of the wall rubbing himself to the thought of you. You sink into the bed, disregarding that unignorable pulsating feeling.

Saturday morning come, and you stretched contently, knowing that you finally had the day off from work. But that short-lived happiness dimmed when you checked the unread notification blasting through your phone.

7:29 A.M. #####:- hey listen i meant it when i said i wanted you there. pls come. #####:- it wouldnt just make ma happy but me too #####:- u gotta be there to make look better haha im joking

You had a feeling that she was not.

7:56 A.M. #####:-and uh, bring your guy as well pls, ma's so excited planning this wedding she wants to get started on the next one too lolol #####:- also she thinks your lying :/

Great, now there's actual pressure to bring someone.

Your morning dose of caffeine didn't hit today, as your body feels heavier than usual as you trudge all the way to your doorstep. When the last time you actually left your apartment if not for work?

Forcing yourself to look decently good, you make your way to your neighbour's doorstep, knocking so softly you almost tried again, until the door abruptly open, revealing a wet toweled Simon.

An eerie silence captures the atmosphere, consists of his eyes drinking in your disheveled appearance after almost a month, and yours undressing him, as if he wasn't already standing almost-nude.

He opens his mouth to say something but you beat him to it, "Listen I know you've been deployed for the past 3 weeks, but listen I need a favour, I know you hate me and don't want to be with me but I really need a date to an engagement party, and I hate men and men hate me so I don't know anyone but you, and here me out, but could you please take some time out of your month to please be my date, I know you don't like me like that, which makes no sense to me 'cos you're in that mask almost the same number of times as you're in me- just please give it a thought-"

There's a cough behind Simon.

A half nude woman runs past you, head down in shame, smilingly guiltily as she tiptoes out of his room. She heard it all, you thought.

You look at Simon, suddenly recollected last night's events, the 2nd footsteps, the headboard banging. It all made sense. You really didn't mean anything to him.

Simon shifts on his feet uncomfortably.

"Surprise?"

its's 2 a.m. as i post this...why do my brain cells suddenly begin to work post-midnight I've decided to start a tag list! -> lemme know you're interested to be tagged in my future posts! tags -> @lilliumrorum

[hazel-of-sodor]

Something Holy This Way Comes

Ch.7 Safe

Other Stories

Other Chapters

Cassandra's arrival meant the Uman and Din now had ten locomotives, freeing Blaidd to go in for overhaul. Enid and Cassandra took turns covering her branchlines passenger services, while Becca, Ceri, and Screech covered the goods work.

 While waiting for their trains Screech would often talk with Caomhnóir.

"The diesels and electrics are in danger too. Most of them just haven't realized it yet." Cassandra said during her second week.

'Truly?' the whisper asked.

Cassandra nodded, "Many of them aren't performing as hoped, and as soon as steam is gone...they plan to cull the unsuccessful ones." She sighed, "They don't listen when warned. They are convinced they're revolutionary. That they are the future."

Screech shifted unhappily, "The other railway cares not. I outperformed the diesels, but was still sent for scrap."

"It was never about whether we could match their performance." Cassandra scowled, "They think the diesels will be cheaper, and to them, that's all that matters."

"You are saving them as well then?"

"Trying." Cassandra said irritably, "Most refuse to believe they're in any danger."

'And those that do?'

"Are few enough the North Western just buys them. The Other Railway's always happy for us to take a diesel."

"Your controller truly doesn't mean to follow the modernization plan?"

"Never. And if he did he would be replaced," Cassandra said matter-of-factly. "Sodor's crews were hiding engines before I was built, the Other Railway hasn't realized that."

'Why have they simply not replaced him as happened with the Western Region?'

Cassandra smirked, "because they can't. It's Sudrian law that any change in controller for the North Western has to be approved by the Island council, it was originally put in place when the LMS was trying to gain control of the island's railways in the 20s."

Screech tilted her head thoughtfully, "I vaguely recall hearing about that. They cut off your coal."

Cassandra scowled, "They did, and it was an engine's idea" 

Screech was taken aback, "an engine's? Surely not."

"Oh it was," Cassandra laughed bitterly, "they were proud of it when I met them."

Screech her head in disbelief at the engine's actions, "Cutting off a railway's coal...that is the actions of men, not engines."

"For them it was personal," Cassandra sighed, "they had been loaned to us after the war, as it was believed we would be absorbed later anyway. They tried to gain control of the mainline, but our number four's arrival put an end to that. They were sent away in disgrace after causing an accident."

'What happened to them?' The whisper asked cautiously.

"Used as spares for their siblings," Cassandra said grimly. "While the management favored them, the crews disliked them, so they fell out of use. During the war spares were needed to keep the class going, and it was decided it was cheaper to use them to repair the others than to overhaul them."

"I'm not sure if that's a crueler or kinder fate than scrapping." Screech mused.

"Crueler," Cassandra said solemnly. "With scrapping it's at least an end...for most engines anyway," She nodded towards Screech. 

"They're trapped in limbo, no longer alive, but not granted the release of death."

'Could you release them?' The whisper asked.

Cassandra's expression darkened, "No, they did not want to be saved in life, and I can do nothing without them wanting to be saved."

Screech considered Caomhnóir a long moment, "You tried to save them."

The tank engine studied the rails before her for a long moment. "....I did. No matter how it ended, they were once North Western, and we protect our own."

'And they refused.'

"Emphatically."

****

The second week of Cassandra's stay was coming to an end one night when Screech stiffened, her eyes darting to lock onto a distant point in the town, a large tendrils shooting off into the darkness seconds later.

Caomhnóir's eyes lit with a golden glow as she stretched her senses out, scowling as she found whatever Screech had sensed.

"Mali is on her way here," Screech announced with a grinding rumble.

"She has a hurting youth with her," Cassandra growled, sounding far more like Screech than her normal self.

"Can you tell how they're hurt?"Abbey asked, shifting her wheels restlessly.

Cassandra focused, "Mostly emotionally I think. Beyond that, I can't tell much. I'm better at sensing other locomotives. I can only sense Mali because she feels like Screech."

It took Screech a moment to realize what Cassandra had said, "What?!"

"You didn't know?"

The tank engine couldn't help but laugh at the eldritch titan's taken-aback expression. "She's spent enough time around you to adjust to your presence. It's happened with your crew as well, that's why they're so fit for their age."

"That's my doing?"

Cassandra nodded, "your presence at least. Same thing happens with me, Robert is my original driver."

Avon started, "But you were built in 1915! That would mean he's..."

"Almost seventy," Cassandra confirmed.

"He looks younger than my crew," Tyto said curiously.

Cassandra snorted, "He trained your driver."

Before Tyto could respond Mali walked in with her arm around another girl her age, one of Screech's tendrils discreetly following them. Screech recalled the girl as the firelighter that had first asked if Screech should be steamed the night she had arrived on the railway.

"Thank you Screech. I hope you don't mind us intruding, but we have nowhere else to go." Mali said quietly, patting the trailing tendril. It was clear both girls had been crying.

Cassandra glowed as she brought the Lady's power forth, warming the shed and the two girls from the cold.

"Nonsense girls, you are more than welcome," Abbey said concernedly, the other engines chiming in agreement.

Screech reached out and closed the doors of the shed, trapping in the warmth inside.

"What happened young ones?" Caomhnóir asked softly.

The other girl looked up to meet the soft golden glow of the guardian's eyes. She looked up to Mali and nodded.

Mali hesitated for a second then said, "Megan's parents found out about us. It did not go well..."

"They threw me out..." Megan said quietly.

"And your parents?" Abbey asked gently.

Mali hesitated, "I...I'm not ready to find that out tonight...not that it matters. They've probably already been called."

"Would you like me to get Gwyn and Freda?" Screech asked softly.

Mali bit her lip nervously, "Would they...."

Una snorted, "If they can handle Screech and Abbey, they'll have no issues with you two."

Everyone ignored the tank engine's yelp as Screech flicked her.

Mali looked over to Megan who nodded slowly.

"Yes please."

Screech stretched out a tendril into the city. It slithered up the road from the shed, passing barking dogs, maneuvering around stubborn alley cats, and launched a pebbled at one particularly bold squirrel before turning left onto a street lined with two-story cottages and Oaks. The third cottage on the right saw the tendril sneak up the path and onto the porch, rapping three times on the door.

It waited patiently as it heard the man inside yell "Coming."

Gwyn Jones opened the door to find the end of the tendril sat like a large snake on his porch. He blinked in surprise, "Screech?"

The tendril reached in the door and carefully grabbed his coat and handed it to the man.

"So much for getting an early night tonight," he said wryly. "Freda!" He called up the stairs, "We're needed at the sheds!"

The tendril heard the woman quietly swear upstairs before starting down the stairs, only to stop and raise an eyebrow at the tendril sitting on her porch.

The tendril waved politely.

***

Freda strode into the shed briskly, took one look at the girls, and scooped the pair into her arms. Gwyn busied himself lighting the wood stove to prepare hot cocoa for the girls. She scowled as Mali explained what had happened.

"Steven was always a right bugger, I had hoped better of Amanda though." She said severely."

"You knew?" Mali asked in surprise.

Freda snorted, "I knew what to look for. Gwyn always says he got me by the grace of God and good luck. He never mentions the luck was my girl at the time cheating on me with her old boyfriend."

She chuckled as both girls stared at her in shock, "Don't worry about your jobs dears, Miss Morgan has been employing us long before Screech met Abbey."

Screech grumbled halfheartedly as Abbey chuckled.

Freda smirked at her engine before continuing more seriously, "...you two are of course welcome to stay with us..."

She was interrupted by the arrival of Miss Davies, all but running in. If the woman noticed Screech's tendrils lift off the ground, or Cassandra start to glow, she did not show it.

She reached out to Mali, hurt crossing her face when her daughter hesitated.

"Are you all right Cyw?"

Mali rose to her feet nervously, "You know?"

Miss Davies nodded slowly, "the Walkers called after you left."

Mali hesitantly locked eyes with her mother, "I'm not leaving her Mam, not even for you." She looked away quickly, a tear falling down her cheek.

Miss Davies hesitated for just a moment then her face adopted a resolute expression. She gently reached out and turned her daughter's face towards her, "Fy mach i, I did not work so hard to get you back just to lose you over this."

Mali looked up at her, hesitantly hopeful. "you are more important to me than anything else." Miss Davies said firmly. "No matter who you end up with."

Mali burst into relieved tears as her mother pulled her into a hug.

"I still want grandkids though."

Mali gave a startled wet laugh.

Still holding Mali close, Miss Davies looked over to Freda, "I assume you have no problems with taking Megan? I would but I'd rather not walk in on anything." She smirked knowingly at the blush on her daughter's face.

Freda nodded as she chuckled, "Of course. If the Walkers give you any trouble, let us know."

"I don't know how they found out," Megan said quietly.

"Johnny Harris told them," Miss Davies said grimly.

"Oh?" Screech rumbled as she recalled the leader of the group that had been antagonizing Mali. "I thought I had made myself clear he was to leave her alone?"

"That's probably why he outed her instead," Mali said, "so he could claim ignorance."

"That won't help him."

****

The next morning Miss Morgan strode through the yard towards the source of the commotion, Adam and May Harris behind her

She found Johnathon 'Johnny' Harris perched precariously atop the coaling tower, Screech waiting ever so patiently at the base, the tips of her tendrils flicking like the tail of a cat that had spotted a bird.

May stepped up alongside Screech, "what has he done this time?" She asked in a resigned tone.

"He outed someone to their parents," Screech rumbled angrily.

May glared up at her son,  who suddenly seemed to be wondering if Screech was his better option.

"I would ask if you had a job to keep him out of trouble Morgan, but Miss Walker's baying makes me think that would only give him more chances to get into trouble."

Miss Morgan stepped up alongside her, "I can't claim to have paid enough attention to her to know based on that. But his treatment of my employees leaves much to be desired. Too much for me to consider him until he proves to have grown up a fair sight more."

"I can get him a job at the quarry." Adam Harris spoke up. 

"What? No!" Johnny squawked from atop the tower, "I didn't speak to Mali! You said..."

The boy fell silent as Screech batted at one of the legs of the tower with a tendril, shaking the tower.

"Silence would serve you best little snack."

Adam narrowed his eyes at his son, "The very fact you think this doesn't violate our deal proves you understood nothing of the conversation we had." He looked to his wife, "Something has to give before Miss Screech quite understandably runs out of patience for dealing with our child."

May nodded, "Agreed. how soon can he go to work with you?"

"I'll go catch the foreman, Miss Avon shouldn't have left yet with his train."

May glanced up towards her son, "That settles it then. Miss Screech? Would you mind retrieving my offspring so he can be prepared for his new job?"

"Of course."

Johnny gulped.

[roxygenstudiesagain]

100 days of productivity (1/100) 12/7/22

I don’t intend to make this a daily record, mostly milestones n notable days. I woke up a lil later than I planned but I think I needed the lie-in to deal with all the moments I had to be patient today. I deffo feel like something new is starting, not just coz the semester and year is ending. Just a lot of cool resources falling into my lap and I appreciate it so much!

Today’s highlights

Was driven to campus, had to do my tuberculosis screening. My blister blew up lol. Friday and all this packet hustling for my new gig will be over. At least my boss likes me!

After months of feral avoidance I finally signed up with a new primary care provider! I hope my symptoms didn’t get too unsolvable in the time this took

Stood up for my name and bronouns even though I was nervous. Telling people I’m a boy called Roxy is hard, especially when they’re expecting a girl. I played it cool and grateful and the receptionist actually did a really amazing job handling it. I might ask for her details so I can commend her to her boss

Did a delivery gig that was over 20 usd, did the pickup, got food paid for by my college for me and my wife

Returned one of my portable WiFi hotspots and renewed another And got a 6 month Chromebook loan from the library (will have to tiktok it later). It’s like untouched. So fast. Writing is going to be a breeze.

Created a gif for one of my assignments at college (graphics) and commented on the sharing forum, reviewed all homework to do till the semester ends.

Got my grade back for my screenwriting class! Treatment got 23/25!! I’m happy I’ll take it :)

Sent a message to my professor about the spec script I’m thinking of doing and she approves of it and my potential entry into a very cool workshop ;^) watch this space

Things I gotta do soon:

Participate in screenwriting class at least a lil tomorrow

Get back into regular exercise (bike and ringfit. Hit 100 sessions a couple weeks back)

Keep up doing ukulele practice (I’ve actually been weirdly motivated as of recent)

Diet overhaul, talk with nutritionist about making something that will help me thrive

Book all my medical investigations, especially sleep study/pcos/plantar fasciitis resolutions. Maybe even scoliosis…. Now I have something nearby I can bug about stuff that I’ve ignored for years esp dental

Get into the swing of storyboards for my friends game

Get back into yoga

Establish a routine of communication w my family

Get on top of bills and cards

Pay off visa n sort citizenship

Work till the new semester starts, keep applying for animation gigs, grow LinkedIn and online platforms, folio fixes

Get back into publishing comic pages

[yslkook]

#onboarding (1)

#corporate

summary: seokjin delivers some news to you that you were not ready to receive. or, jeon jungkook joins the company and you’re suddenly facing a part of your past that you hadn’t really wanted to.

word count: 1701

warnings: cursing, parental death

***

7:47 AM. Like clockwork, you always arrive in the parking lot at exactly 7:47 AM. It gives you enough time to brew yourself coffee in the lounge, set up your desk exactly the way you want it, and check your emails quickly.

It’s a ritual that you refuse to let go of, even after four years. You’ve been at the same company for the last four years, in the same position. You work in your company’s research and development organization, a group with thousands of individuals globally.

You are only a speck in the machine that was capitalism. As long as they were paying you, you didn’t mind. You had loans, bills, and your grandma to take care of.

Too bad they weren’t paying you enough. You had given nearly half a decade of your blood, sweat, tears, and time to this company and they had hardly raised your pay, hadn’t given you a promotion and had only just given you a portion of the bonus you deserved.

Without you, your boss and his boss would be six feet under and it’s a fact you never failed to complain to Seokjin about.

Which is what you were currently doing in the lounge.

Seokjin is your closest friend, outside of work and in work. Quite possibly, he’s your only friend. You had graduated in the same year from university, with the same major, the only difference was that he had finished graduate school and you hadn’t. 

Seokjin is an associate director in the regulatory area within the company. You work closely with his team and his peers on projects. Regulatory and clinical science goes hand in hand- they’re often the people who tell you and your teams to take it down a notch when you get too excited about something that may not be feasible.

You call him a stickler, and he tells you that your head is in the clouds. It’s all in good fun.

You were three rankings below Seokjin. It was something that you tried your best not to get upset about- you both had started at the same time and he has risen far faster than you had within the company. While you were stagnant. That might be in part due to your management. But still, you tried your best to remain happy for your closest friend. You can be happy for him and still wish death upon the antiquated patriarchal expectations that still thrived in capitalist culture, after all.

11:58 AM. You ping Seokjin, asking if he wants to have lunch with you so that you’re spared the annoyance of eating at your desk. Or even worse, of eating with your direct boss. 

Jin agrees quickly and you meet him at the top of the stairs to head down to the cafeteria together.

He stays in the cafeteria for a little longer than you- he ran into a few acquaintances and is chatting with them. You don’t wait up for him, instead paying for your food and finding a table to sit at.

You scroll on your phone for a few minutes, adjusting your glasses on the bridge of your nose as you wait for him to join you. He’s always been more keen than you to converse with people at work when he didn’t need to. It’s something he chastised you about frequently, about how you refused to network with the people around you.

You would always reply- “They can get to know me through my work. I’m not gonna blow air up their asses just so these fuckin’ airheads can feel good about themselves.”

He’d only look at you with that look, the look that stated that you’ve aged him a thousand years with one interaction. 

“Hey,” Seokjin says, sliding into his seat across from you, “I’m so hungry.”

“Surprised you didn’t bring lunch today,” You observe after you chew some rice and chicken.

“I forgot it at home,” He says sheepishly, “I meal prepped yesterday. God, now I want my actual lunch and not this.”

“Careful, someone might hear you and get upset.”

“Oh, I didn’t know how concerned you were over lunch today,” Seokjin scoffs.

“They might get upset that they don’t have Jin’s seal of approval.”

“They have Jin’s seal of approval, but my actual lunch does, too-”

“Don’t refer to yourself in the third person, weirdo,” You roll your eyes.

You both eat in silence for a few minutes, the call of hunger too intense to ignore. The food is good- the cafeteria at your company has been known for its tasty hot food and plentiful options. 

“Do you remember that kid from college? Jeon Jungkook?” Seokjin asks after a few minutes.

“Who?” You reply instantly, without baring the name a second thought.

The name sounds very familiar, and suddenly you recall where you know the name from. He was a sweet, smart kid. Maybe a little naive, but smart nonetheless. 

“Really? Your memory is that shitty?” Seokjin rolls his eyes, “He was your mentee in grad school, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah, I remember him. I was only his mentee for like seven months, that hardly counts. Before I left, I mean,” You murmur, picking at your food.

Jin notices your immediate change in demeanor, the way your face falls slightly at the mention of graduate school. You always get like this when talking about college in general, but Jin can’t blame you. He’s been trying to get you to open up about it, even though it had been nearly six years since you had to leave school abruptly.

He knows that there are layers of scar tissue below the surface. But he doesn’t know if you’re ready to face all of it.

“Jeon is starting here tomorrow. In regulatory,” Jin says breezily.

“You gonna be the kid’s boss?” You ask after a bite of chicken.

“Not directly. Namjoon will be, so you’ll be seeing him around often,” Jin says, “Think of it like a blast from the past.”

“Yeah,” You mutter, “That’s a blast from the past, alright.”

***

You feel unsettled the rest of the day, knowing that a sudden, unwelcome intrusion is about to become routine. Sudden change does not bode well with you and that’s a fact you’re willing to admit.

Jeon Jungkook.

You resist memories of him, of sitting with him in your favorite coffee shop for your biweekly mentoring sessions, of school, of classes, presentations, studying in the library, studying at home, home, home, home. You resist all of them, resisting the urge to succumb to any of it.

You can’t blame Jin for springing this on you. You know he wants you to try to move on. But you’ve been stuck. You’ve always been stuck. For five years, all you’ve done is be stuck.

All you’ve done is be running in place, going nowhere, with the memory of your father’s death haunting you behind your eyelids. 

It’s been five years, and somehow you’ve been living as a ghost for all of those years.

It doesn’t matter. Even if Jeon Jungkook was the representation of everything you had unsuccessfully run away from, it doesn’t matter.

***

Cold fury washes over you when you finally learn two days later that Jeon Jungkook is a fresh graduate who somehow landed a job that was two positions higher than you.

Sure, he had actually completed graduate school. He has the fuckin’ degree to prove his worth. And what do you have? Loans from a program you hadn’t even completed, a boss who seems to hate every fiber of your being, and shoulder pains. Lots and lots of shoulder pains.

You could scream. In fact you want to. Jin had avoided telling you what he was coming into the company as, knowing it would only incense you to this degree.

At the moment, you want to throttle Jin, too. You want to throttle every and any man who works at this company who had dared stepped on you in an attempt to gain the spotlight for themselves.

Someday, you’ll get back at them. Someday, you’ll be their superior and you’ll make them regret it. But today is not that day.

You dread running into Jeon Jungkook. You are so unbelievably envious of him, for being four or five years younger than you and securing his spot here at the company when you were still struggling. Namjoon had lots of connections, it was part of the reason that Jin had fought so hard to bring him into the company. Namjoon and Jin have the same boss and often work together. Truthfully, you work with Namjoon more than you work with Jin.

Namjoon had lots of connections, meaning that Jungkook would, too. 

When you finally do run into Jeon Jungkook, it’s by complete chance. You had been passing the regulatory area of your floor, since that’s where the printer was closest to. And you needed the walk, your muscles were screaming for it.

He’s standing tall, outside of Namjoon’s office as they both chat quietly amongst themselves. Namjoon suddenly excuses himself and disappears around the corner for a minute, and you wince, debating whether you should turn around or continue walking. Before you can turn your heel and avoid Jeon Jungkook, he turns his head and meets your eyes with a surprised look on his face.

You bite back your bark- “What? Are you surprised someone like me works here?”

But you reel it in.

He calls your name with a wave and you know you’re trapped. You give him a crisp smile and approach him warily, tightening your hold on the folders in your arms.

Jeon Jungkook looks exactly the same, and yet he looks worlds different.

“I didn’t know you worked here!” He chirps, “It’s been so long, how are you?”

“Yeah. Been here for four years. Five year anniversary is soon,” You reply, voice even and struggling to keep venom out of it, “Good. I’m good.”

Before he can ask you anymore questions, before you can see his bright, bunny smile dim with your cold response, you mutter an excuse and turn your heel to walk away from him.

You’ll just find a printer somewhere else, you suppose.

[barid-bel-medar]

More of a real life ramble than anything else but...

This year has been weird. At the start of the year it did not look like it would be a good one. I’m not going to touch on shit like the Capital Riots, but more in light of the fact I had a goddamn seizure through my medication. That was theorized to be a result of me just being so stressed out over things like the pandemic, and the fact that at that point I’d been out of work since June 2020. Pandemic paranoia to some extent started to drop once both me and my grandma got vaccinated (I qualified pretty early due to the epilepsy; I actually got a weird look when I arrived for my appointment due to how young I am and then mentioned the epilepsy and got an understanding nod). The only good thing was with the Pandemic Unemployment Act for once I qualified for unemployment insurance (since my previous jobs had been contractor positions I didn’t which is BS), since it had been changed so that contractors/temps could qualify. None of my job applications seemed to be working, I was barely getting interviews, and it was just frustrating.

Then one day in March I get an email from an employment agency I’d sent my resume to in the past but never heard from. It was an email to ask me about if I would be interested in a two month temp contract to work at a small bank helping process PPP loans. I said yes, curious and frankly bored if nothing else. To be honest I wasn’t even entirely sure it was legitimate, since that does happen at times. That discussion went well, and I was then set up to do an actual interview with the bank the next morning.

I was given a verbal offer by the bank within five minutes of my interview. Two thirds of my interview was the HR person going over what my specific duties would be. I had the official offer letter in my email the following morning, did all sorts of paperwork, and by Friday of that week I was working at the bank (remotely). Did my one day training, and then started to process loans. 

So initially I was on one team, that dealt directly with applicants, and being supervised by someone from the credit division. It seems however, that I was not supposed to be on that team. To some extent it had been a matter of me getting some degree of experience (I assume), but I’d actually been supposed to be on the team run by the head of risk management that dealt with brokers rather than direct clients. My previous supervisor tried to convince HR not to move me in terms of teams (she was very satisfied with my work), even offering up another team member. HR said ‘no’ and the following week (my third week at the bank), I was now on the brokerage team.

Now for that first week my boss actually wasn’t there (he’d been on vacation), and I was under the supervision of the CFO. Lovely man, did enjoy working with him and I get along well with him. Made a few errors, but I picked up quickly what I was doing wrong and fixed it. Actually lead to the semi-irritating aspect of realizing some of the temps/interns who’d been there months still hadn’t picked up some of that shit...But next week my actual boss came back.

First thing Monday morning was a meeting with him. He’d gotten progress reports on me from both the prior supervisors and HR and had been pleased. I’d demonstrated that I could pick things up quickly and fix errors. I was also willing to reach out if I felt I was missing something or needed help. So I chat with him and make the off handed reference to how I was looking for full time, permanent employment. Didn’t really think much of saying it, more was as a forewarning that if I found something I’d take it and likely be leaving very quickly. He got a very interested look at his face, but at that moment didn’t say anything else. It made me wonder, and there had been a part of me already wondering that if I did good enough job with the loans if they’d keep me on long term. I figured though if that did happen, I wouldn’t be asked anything until basically the end of my two month contract. 

So here’s what I didn’t realize. My boss had recently convince the bank president to let him hire on an assistant/team member. Previously the bank president didn’t really believe him on just how overworked he was, but PPP (where everyone at the bank basically had to do it on top of their regular duties) made the president realize just how bad it was. So boss now has approval, but hadn’t yet been allowed to post the job.

And that’s apparently where I came in.

Again, I’d been getting praise, demonstrated interest in what my boss’s regular job was, and also had a skill set that could easily be transitioned to doing risk management (my background is in libraries/archives/information governance). I also proved over the course of that week I could easily handle the PPP workload and that again, I picked up new skills easily. I got along well with my boss, and did things also like give him heads up when I thought something was going weird.

So Friday of that week comes, and my boss, maybe a half an hour before my work day was over asks me the question I was not expecting. “What would your expected salary be for a full time position?” Again, I’m figuring even if heard something, I’d be hearing it closer to the end of my contract. Not barely a month into it. I spent the weekend figuring out the salary range I should ask for, asking my sister’s partner what he thought I should ask (he works risk management at a much larger bank but still had an idea on what I should ask for). Monday comes, I give the range, and from there my boss spends like the next two weeks practically chasing down the president to set things up.

Did have to do an ‘interview’ for the job with the CFO and my boss, but honestly the interview with my boss was mostly us chatting about random shit, and the meeting with CFO was more just verifying certain things (also he was nice and took the generous look at my previous work history as ‘they may just like doing short term jobs’ [I in fact very much do not]). A few days later I got my verbal job offer, and a few days after that my official letter. Part of why it took a bit was due to the temp contract and there were some things there apparently. But I now had a full time, perm job that gave me a salary I was very happy with and basically all the benefits I wanted (the only one I didn’t get is tuition reimbursement and I know HR is trying to convince the President and bank owner they should do it too; also I admittedly already have a Masters degree, but depending on how much I like this job [which I am] I may try to do either a Masters of Legal Studies or an MBA).

Part of also why was apparently due to PPP. They didn’t exactly want to transition me over to the permanent job until it was closer to over, which they expected to happen by late month. Then, as some of my may know, PPP ran out of funds faster than expected. My boss and I had chatted about it, but both of us were still expecting at least a week longer than what ended up happening. Which then lead to a different issue at that point; HR wasn’t quite ready for me to do all my paperwork stuff, but since they’d done my offer and the like what ended up happening was I was kept on the temp contract, but started my new duties. Also there was apparently a certain ‘we get hit by a fee’ thing there, if they took a temp ‘too soon’.

In a very technically sense there was still PPP stuff going on. They were starting to set up things like the forgiveness program, and dealing with applicants complaining over rejections or that they had applied and gotten nothing since the funds had run out (and there wasn’t much we could do there). However my boss didn’t want me doing that. He wanted me to focus on figuring out how to do my new job, which meant reading up on a bunch of stuff. Which was nice since I didn’t have to deal with applicant complaints, of which there were a lot.

So I started to transition over to doing risk stuff, learning, training and like experimenting with writing policies and procedural stuff (though looking back at that I still don’t really get why he was having me do that but whatever). He started me doing the real reason he’d hired me in June, doing IT due diligence reviews. The reviews on average take me at least a day and a half (there’s generally a lot of information and I have to read all of it and write up a report). First time I did one he assured me ‘don’t worry if you mess up, this is your first time’. Did it, spent a day or so paranoid, and then we had a meeting to discuss it. Apparently I did it perfectly which delighted him since it meant I could start doing it seriously.

And it’s just been nice. I’m working something I find interesting. I have a boss who  has the view of ‘work to live, not live to work’ which he views as an incredibly unhealthy mindset. Meaning if something comes up like say, visiting my parents and I’ve been able to do half days so I can get to their house, including this past Friday (thought that was also partially a result of how messed up public transit due to Ida but that’s a different matter); he actually said I could head out Thursday but since public transit was such a mess it wasn’t viable (my train line was down). Back during PPP the one broker kept annoying him by emailing/calling him at fuck o’clock and not respecting that it was after work hours. My boss also trusts me to attend things like meetings that are with senior management, and I suspect he’s starting to groom me to take over his position (especially based on a comment from last week).

It’s just very weird to realize this year started so shitty, showed no signs it would really get better and yet now all this. And it’s just really nice.

[bytemycupcakes]

Trans-mity in the Oracle track

Hehe Trans-mity? Like it? It’s silly but it makes me happy >:3c

Obviously this post mostly applies to my Trans!Amity interpretation, but some bits can extend to normal Amity too :p

It’s also.. More than just why the oracle track, I got on a roll and now it includes how he joined the track and a bit of how he figured out he’s trans :3 (It also has a bit of enby!Luz cause... Yes.)

btw, sorry I’m still calling him Amity through the post, I have a replacement name idea, but I wanna think about it more before I put it anywhere ;3;

Sorry it’s so long TwT

-

Okay first off, why I think he is dual-tracking in the first place.  (and tbh why Canon Amity should in the future)

Amity is a Blight. Blights are successful. Blights strive for the Emperors Coven, and access to all magic. It only makes sense to study as much magic as possible in preperation for that.

Though Amity is completely fine only doing one track before Luz came along and bent the rule, once multiple tracks became open, his parents likely had him consider it, or he brought up the idea with his parents and/or siblings. Discussing how useful it could be for his future, ect.

The Blights are obviously on board with that, cause if Amity is top student in multiple tracks? Well thats certainly something to brag about.

Why the Oracle track though?

In short: Amity always had a fascination for Oracle magic. Infact its the coven he intended on joining upon entering Hexside, but his parents needed successful children.

Principal Bump talks about “trying out” for a track when placing Luz, so it seems that theres requirements for entering one. Though with him just slapping Luz in potions, they seem to be lose or optional requirements. Suppose it all depends on the grades you want.

Thus, Amity’s parents only wanted him to join a track he was successful at, one where he showed promise. Thats what the twins did, it’s what he’ll do to. Consider it Blight Tradition. So for Amity, the “trying out” isn’t much of an optional thing.

Amity really wanted to do Oracle magic. He had already started teaching himself some of it, and seemed to be decent enough at giving Ed and Em vague predictions on their days, so he thought getting into the track would be easy.

And on paper it was, all you had to do was bring up an image of your adult self on a crystal ball, a small glimpse into your own future. Afterall what kind of Oracle can’t predict his own future?

Amity can’t apparently. Sure he hadn’t tried the spell before, but it’s such a simple one, cast and say the name of who you want to see. It’s basic oracle magic so why can’t he do it?? He sits there trying to do the spell for a good half hour before the teacher pushes him to go try some of the other track tests. And with a sinking heart, he does.

He doesn’t think too hard about what to go try next, just wanders and ends up ploping down in abominations. Ends up passing the test with no effort. Guess he’s an Abominations student now... Even if Ed and Em tried to push him to join the Oracle track anyway

At least he never quite gives up Oracle magic. He Continues to study it on his own, and gets better at giving Ed and Em daily fortunes. All while excelling in Abominations. He toyed with the idea of switching tracks once he could pass the beginning test, but every time he tried it with the library’s loan crystal balls, he still couldnt do that basic spell.

Well- Okay he could do the spell, he tried it with his siblings, classmates, teachers, every person he could think of. And most of them worked! But that didn’t matter since he needed to bring up himself.

It didn’t matter that he would easily get passing grades in the track, because according to his parents, if he couldn’t do the basic test, then there’s no promise. He supposes they’re right. Besides, his grades would probably suffer if he couldnt do any predictions about himself.

So he pushed it out of his mind, pretended he always strived for Abominations, and started showing fake pride at his achivement. Besides, nobody wants to hear Abominations top student has been half assing his classes and really doesn’t care much for the track.

Though it grows on him, he finds uses for the spells, and ends up growing fond of the creation process. And having an abomination follow him and do basic tasks was certainly an ego boost. He accepted his fate, and decided he could achieve his goals in this track. He’s a Blight, happiness comes far after success.

But then Luz comes along. Befriends Amity and pulls him out of his shell. Her openness about how humans navigate gender and sexuality fascinates Amity... He’s sure that’s just a human appreciation thing. He’ll take note to talk to the H.A.S about it.

Not that he hasn’t heard similar things around the boiling isles, it’s certainly not unheard of, Willow has two fathers for petes sake. But Luz talks about it more than Amity has ever heard... He could listen to them go on and on for hours... About- The gender stuff. Yeah. Otherwise he’d be so annoyed by Luz’s blathering... Yup. Definitely.

Well that falls through, Since Amity and Luz start dating.... Woops, guess he isn’t straight- Shit.

Luz and WIllow eventually point out how... Interested... Amity seems in Luz’s gender rambling, and Amity tries to play it off that he just likes listening to his partner talk! Is that a crime? The two back down, but Amity certainly takes note of how.. Defensive he had gotten.

He’s left thinking. A lot. And through that thinking, he reaches a state of denial. He’s already dissapointing enough now that he isn’t the perfect straight daughter his parents wanted, he can’t be.. not a daughter too! Maybe his parents were right and Luz is a bad influence- Perhaps he’s just making Amity think he’s all these things- Besides, Amity didn’t mind wearing a dress to Grom, or to other social events.. Sure he whined about how uncomfortable they were, and he makes a conscious effort to wear pants as much as possible. But that doesn’t mean he’s a guy. That’d be absurd-

Again, his denial falls through... Some deep talks with Luz certainly opened up some things... Damn Amity is just chock full of parental dissapointment.

But that doesn’t matter, because he can still be successful without their approval. Amity is still a Blight. And will always have the sway of power that it comes with.

Back on track with the tracks.

Amity had already moved past and shoved down his want to join the Oracle Track quite some time ago, so when he mentions it in passing when helping Luz with her Oracle homework... He’s caught off guard when they shove the crystal ball into his hands.

Luz encouraging him to try again, now that he’s figured himself out, and has a new name. Their professor said names are very important when it comes to some forms of fortune, so maybe thats why he couldn’t do the spell!

Amity blinks.... Then smacks his head. GOD why hadn’t he thought of that?! He already knew that from his own private studying, but just never connected those dots!

He takes such a deep breath, head swirling with excitement and even more fear. Afterall if he still can’t do the spell, then that means he really isn’t cut out for Oracle magic... He’s not sure if he can face that reality... But even if thats the case, he supposes he’ll always have Luz, he can help her with their oracle homework without doing the spells himself.

He casts. He says his name. He and Luz are staring at the ball, neither breathing as the few milliseconds start to feel like hours while they wait for any image to show up.

And sure enough... One does. A simple image of a much older Amity walking through a town appears on the ball, and the two teans squeal. Amity doesn’t even remember a time he was this happy, he’s rendered to tears. That he can do a spell thats been alluding him since middle school. All because Luz had put the pieces in place for him to learn about himself and figure it out.

When he takes the test again next semester and does it first try, the oracle teacher grins and ruffles his hair, “I suppose there was no future Amity Blight, hm? Welcome to the Oracle track, [name]”

[mamanars02]

I AM PROFESSIONALLY CONNED BY MY HUSBAND A SELF PROCLAIMED GOOD GUY Oo day, ang Ganda ko pero naloko ng pangit. Pano ba nangyare? Ganito bhie, Mahaba ang kwento pero di kasinghaba ng titi ng asawa ko. Year 2011, I met my husband in KSA. I am still young back then, and still madly inlove with my year LDR boyfriend. My husband courted me, even though he is aware I was in a relationship, he tried. He befriended me and since he proclaimed himself as a very good guy with some flaws in life, being a father of a teenage girl, so, I thought back then, OMG he was such an honest GUY. OO, naniwala ako, uto uto ang peg. Then, my 7 year relationship ended. Chance nya na.. Grab the opportunity ginawa ng Lolo nyo. Brokenhearted, I gave my husband a chance. Brokenhearted, I made a choice to give in to him, sexually, in KSA (di ako malibog, nagtry Lang ang gaga, bilis nga, di ako nasiyahan.) He proposed to me then on, not in a very romantic way as I would like to imagine. He just handed me the ring and just said the word, Marry Me. (Walang ka sweet sweet, kahit I sang langgam di malasahan and proposal kasi Walang tamis) But I am so young back then,fresh pa ako bhie, and he is 11 years older than me, gurang na sya in short. Kinilig pa rin ako (or pinaniwala ko sarili ko siguro that time) , even though my heart sank hoping he would have proposed formally. We planned our wedding, but he is not that participative. Parang, o sya, planuhin MO lahat aatend Lang ako. It is like I am marrying myself alone, but when it comes to meeting me, to have sex with me, I can feel the excitement he is showing me (wagas ang libog ng Lolo nyo) . His family never did the traditional pamamanhikan nor meeting my parents to pay respect for taking my hand in marriage. How ignorant of me in those times. I guess I am really blinded by the old guy. He just called my parents through phone and say, “Hello Nay, Tay, I would like to marry your daughter.” and conversation ended. I felt the pain and hesitancy of my parents back then. Their anxiety and fear for me, their one and only princess, being taken by this middle age guy, a total stranger who never came to meet them. I am a fucking asshole. My family ignored those facts and questions in their mind. They love me, and they saw the excitement and happiness that I am getting married. (I am so lucky with my parents) As months has passed, I started doubting myself to get married to him, I noticed some flaws. I started to feel being used as a trophy girlfriend, a sexual object. Parausan Lang feel gurl??? I was ready to end our relationship, and the unfortunate event happened. Our affair has been reported by our fellow Filipino colleagues. I was so scared and helpless, afraid of getting jailed and deported. I am not ready to become a young jobless woman. My siblings need me, financially to support their studies. I can’t afford seeing my siblings’ future taken away because of my stupidity. Gaga kasi, gurl. Yan ang napala ng pag explore. So, I got married in an instant, in the Philippine Embassy of Riyadh. The place where Filipino couples getting married in a conservative, strict country like KSA. I got married in a rush, without the presence of my family. Me… Alone… And that’s how my husband had the chance to con me. Pano ba? Sexually,.. Hmmmm… He drained all the youth in me, wow.. Maka drain Lang eh no? Having me in bed almost every day and night, Kung pwede nya ako chukchakin ng 5 beses, ay gagawin nya.. Nakuha nya kasi ambata eh. I am not sexually accomplished, but I pretended to be. He is harsh at times, he wanted to see how I react. His foreplays are rough. And I want it to end, so I did my role of being sexually in to it. I dreamed to be a good wife. A wife that will fulfill my husband’s needs, physically, sexually, emotionally, even financially. I wanted to become a mother as well, so we got pregnant in one try. I thought he will become a caring husband, an excited father to be thought it is not his first time. But, in the first check up I had, he

chose to spend his time with his so called friends rather than assisting me and be with me in my first ultrasound. I was hurt. I never expected that. Mabait sya, my mind says. Months has passed, my pregnancy is very much stable. Still working tough even on my 38th week. Malakas to, bhie.. In those months together, he was insisting on taking bank loans. I am hesistant. I am not the type of person who likes to have UTANG because I want my salary complete. However, he had me say Yes. I took a loan and it was approved because my salary is high enough to meet their required scale. Just like that, when I received the loan, he took charge of it. Sent the money to his parents, telling me they will starts to build a house for us in their place. Since I believed their words, I just went on with the flow, not knowing his father is taking a Chunk of money as well to gamble. I was able to deliver my first child normally. I was such a happy proud mother. He is as well but since having a child in KSA is difficult without having someone to take care of my son. We have to sacrifice and send our son home to the Philippines. It was my first, greatest heartache and it will always be until now. I tried to be strong for my child’s future and my husband is giving 500 riyals share for my son monthly out of the 4000 riyals he is receiving from his salary, while I share 2000 riyals, Mas Madatung ako eh.. I did not bother to ask for more not unless it is my son’s birthday or it is Christmas time. Di ako demanding, Promise. Because I tried to understand his situation that he has another child to feed and my salary is higher. The loan I took, I am paying 2/3 of it monthly, while he shares 1/3 of it. Trying hard ako maging perpekto ng asawa. Every vacation we will divide our weeks from my place to his place. Nevertheless, another ill fated event occurred. We had a fight in his place. And his father suddenly involved himself in our argument and threw us out from their place, in the house I spent my money with which his father gambled as well. Lakas ng loob Kaya sigawan kami, PUTANG INa LUMAYAS KAYO DITO! Ako naman, e di layas. Masunuring Bata. He let his father throw us out in the middle of the night. Yet, I am strong (though sa utak ko, tang Ina pigilan MO naman ako asawa ko, and my situation be like, ASA KA GURL). So, I took my siblings with me and went to our relatives house. I could not fathom the fact that he let me wander in the middle of the night with my siblings. Parang, bahala ka kahit mamatay ka situation. Ganon. Nonetheless, ignorant me. We patched things up, I could not let my child grow up with a broken family. And the same goes by. My life revolved with same routine. Giving money, covering my child’s expenses and I let it all happen. My mistake,maganda pero gaga naman.. I believed in him. Really. Sabi nya kasi mabait sya. With the pangako also to fix the ownership of our house. (Asa PA more, ne.) And there it goes. Years passed, I got employed by a better employer in Saudi, higher salary. And again, he convinced me with another loan. And I gave in, tanga Lang pero maganda. Yan nalang pakonswelo sa sarili, pagbigyan na. So, I gave half of my loan to my husband. Then, I don’t know how cursed I am or him? His contract ended. Though there is a new employer willing to take him in. He refused. He said, he wanted to be with our son.. Ayyyy… natouch ako dun, gurl. So, I let him go back to Philippines, with investment plans, business plans and all even having a baby. Dami naming drawing, ay. Hanggang drawing Lang pala. Even, going home and taking care of our son, drawing din ay. Umasa ang Bata sa wala.. I did not oblige him to give monetary assistance to our son since July 2020 for the fact that, I wanted him to save the money he received from his severance pay in order to add up to our planned investments (planned talaga Yun, planado.. Planado nyang isugal at waldasin. ) Moreover, with cash assistance from me until he left to Philippines. Sugar mommy Lang.. Kagwapo ba? Hindi,

pangit po talaga asawa ko. Nabudol Lang talaga ako. When he arrived in taguig, first 2 months he is okay. That even when, he even asked for 100k, nag pauto uli ang gaga, PAK! MONEY TRANSFER, automatic ako bhie.. He said everything is going according to plan. (according to plan pala Para magwaldas) until, the mid of December 2020, he started having mood shifts, parang lalaking nireregla, inaaway ako tapos aamu-in kasi gusto ng cybersex. I tried to be more understanding, ang bait ko Kaya, because maybe because of LDR situation and the stress of pandemic. In spite of the mood swings, the indirect accusations and his possessive behaviors shows. From 2011 to 2020, of course, medyo kilala mo naman asawa mo e no.. From the eve of my birthday December 23, to the day of my birthday December 24, Pati pasko hang gang New Year. He was so fucking possessive that all I could do was to have a video call on him almost 24hours a day. If he wants cybersex, I have to give in, I have to show my body and play with it. Pokpok na pakiramdam ko.. Medyo first class naman siguro. Because if not, he will accuse me of having an affair. Speaking, he even says I have a man beside me and he hears the voices of the man. And me like, WHAAAAT??? My momo ba sa kwarto ko? And take note, he records our video calls. Then early January 2021, I was surprised by a post of a stranger to my FB account on my son’s picture, accusing my husband, a theft, a con man, stating ‘that your husband namely BLAH BLAH Blah owes me a 100k and promised to pay me back but he did not, you’re a family of thieves and so on. ‘ Nawindang ako, bhie. Agad Agad, delete post, teng ene.. Sa picture pa ng gwapo Kong anak. I confronted my husband, sya pa galit bhie and gradually, he admitted that he owes money to some people, and he cashed out all the money to his friends, and alcohols and gambling. BABAE? Meron ba?? Malay ko.. So, Nothing left. That’s when I thought, Kaya pala Kung ano ano akusasyon kasi sya mismo may kalokohang ginagawa. DEFENSE MECHANISM USED – PROJECTION Again, supportive wife here (tanga Lang, day, wishing ba) I said, it’s okay, it’s only money and so on. And I gave almost 40k just to have an end and have him start again to apply for jobs. I gave him links and ads and places to apply back abroad. Pero, ASA PA MORE. Waley.. Despite of what happened, the endless fight, accusations pa more, and demanding for money did not end. The messages of people I don’t know kept coming-in in my messenger. And my vacation day is here! I was very excited to be with him and make a baby. But fuck him, kahit sa eroplano iharap ko daw cp ko sa bawat taong katabi ko, gago sya. Para akong tangang inikot ang cp. And he was not satisfied at all, tagalan ko daw iharap ang cam.. E di wow, wag na.. Awayin nalang nya ako kesa ireklamo ako ng passengers. And hello Philippines during pandemic, quarantined in a high standard hotel. And of course, my great husband wants to barge-in in my hotel, because sabi nya I have a a lalake in my room.. May nakikita daw at naririnig, and me be like, Saan banda sa kwarto yang nakikita MO? Like, I really wants to see and hear it as well. Kaya, e di wow uli.. Ang lakas ko naman sa OWWA at coast guard Para bumali ng quarantine protocol.. I really tried.. I tried… and I tried… and I tried to fix our marriage… message after message of people I never knew and people I knew hoping I would be the one to pay the debts of my VERY GOOD HUSBAND, still surprises me. To the point that, Even looking at my messenger or FB gave me a phobia. I am so helpless.. Like, sheeeet… anong nangyare gurl? Saan ako kakapit. And my husband even wants to take charge of my son’s bank.. But no way..! LIKE TAMA NA, ULOL.! LALABAN ANG INA! BUT I REALLY Tried… nag effort ako… nagpakatanga ako.. Who wants a broken family for their child, right? Wala di ba? I tried to hide the flaws of our marriage from our son. I cried secretly, I hid the phone away when his father starts to shout at me. But you see, my son is smarter than me. He saw my tears, my

sadness. He caught his father shouting at me at times via videocall. Huli sa akto ni bulilit. Pero di ko Alam. My vacation ended with a failure to have a complete family bonding but accomplished mother and son bonding. I tried to fulfill my son’s needs with my existence alone. And hello me ngayon… nganga… Still lost… basag na basag… I tried to fix myself up… I have to, for my son’s future, I may not be accomplished with my marriage life, but thankfully God blessed my career as a Frontliner. My son’s has no one now but me. My husband still asks for money. I changed my FB name to Korean characters. I unfriended my husband to avoid those people he owes some money and people sending me, KAWAWA AKO KASI NILOKO AKO. Tama na uy. Masakit. Sobrang sakit.. Tao po ako… animal ang ugali pero Hindi bato.. But I am hiding all my tears and wounds from the people surrounding me even though they knew, ginago ako ng asawa ko. They did not bother to ask, they respect my silence and I thanked them for that. But in reality, I don’t know what to do. I felt stuck in a quicksand, slowly drowning in sorrows, sadness and frustrations. I was left behind, drowning. Tortured with this unexplained pain and agony. I am conned by my husband. I spent money on a house which will never be mine. I spent money which will never come back to me.. I was left, zero…. And I don’t know what to do… How can I help myself… When I don’t even know if our law can protect me and my child.. It is me and my child… Against a MAN who is supposed to be our protection but rather, the Man who thinks nothing but himself, he himself is a danger to me and my son. His delusions and hallucinations still continues. Baka may third eye asawa ko???? I don’t know. His unending hurtful messages kept pouring in. Even a recorded sound of the bed na yumuyogyog, he will send it to me. His unending demands of money. Like wow, bat di sya magtrabaho…. Sugar mommy ako??? Ako??? Gandang sugar mommy mo naman, bhie… I just wished…. I just hoped… The government will someday established a law for the wives who has been conned financially by their own husbands. May VAWC, PAO, PCW, et cetera but how come it is near yet so far…. I just don’t know the proper law to fight against him… I can’t annul him, it’s too expensive.. Hanggang sa patayin nya nalang siguro ako.. Legal separation? OMG, how about the house.. In short, sya nag enjoy sa bahay na dugo at pawis Kong pinundar. Our son? How can I demand monetary assistance when he is jobless… I asked legally, and nothing happened.. It only benefits him, not me and my son… Kaya wow.. Hanggang sa mamatay o mapatay nya ako ay.. Our Family Court aspires to fix marriages as much as possible, and it is good.. But does it means, wag maghiwalay, magpaabuso ka Hanggang sa mamatay. (sighed) So, here I am… What I am now? You can say, I am a wife, sexually and physically used by my husband according to his own time of desires and needs. I am a wife, who is financially and emotionally, mentally abused by my husband. I am a wife PROFESSIONALLY CONNED BY MY HUSBAND BEFORE HE CONNED OTHER PEOPLE.. I am his long term conned victim.

[timeless-hollywood-classics]

Margaret Brooke Sullavan (May 16, 1909 – January 1, 1960) was an American actress of stage and film.

Sullavan began her career onstage in 1929. In 1933 she caught the attention of movie director John M. Stahl and had her debut on the screen that same year in Only Yesterday.

Sullavan preferred working on the stage and made only 16 movies, four of which were opposite James Stewart in a popular partnership that included The Mortal Storm and The Shop Around the Corner. She was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress for her performance in Three Comrades (1938). She retired from the screen in the early 1940s, but returned in 1950 to make her last film, No Sad Songs for Me, in which she played a woman who was dying of cancer. For the rest of her career she would appear only on the stage.

Sullavan experienced increasing hearing problems, depression, and mental frailty in the 1950s. She died of an overdose of barbiturates, which was ruled accidental, on January 1, 1960, at the age of 50.

Sullavan was born in Norfolk, Virginia, the daughter of a wealthy stockbroker, Cornelius Sullavan, and his wife, Garland Councill Sullavan. She had a younger brother, Cornelius, and a half-sister, Louise Gregory. The first years of her childhood were spent isolated from other children. She suffered from a painful muscular weakness in the legs that prevented her from walking, so that she was unable to socialize with other children until the age of six. After her recovery she emerged as an adventurous and tomboyish child who preferred playing with the children from the poorer neighborhood, much to the disapproval of her class-conscious parents.

She attended boarding school at Chatham Episcopal Institute (now Chatham Hall), where she was president of the student body and delivered the salutatory oration in 1927. She moved to Boston and lived with her half-sister, Weedie, while she studied dance at the Boston Denishawn studio and (against her parents' wishes) drama at the Copley Theatre. When her parents cut her allowance to a minimum, Sullavan defiantly paid her way by working as a clerk in the Harvard Cooperative Bookstore (The Coop), located in Harvard Square, Cambridge.

Sullavan succeeded in getting a chorus part in the Harvard Dramatic Society 1929 spring production Close Up, a musical written by Harvard senior Bernard Hanighen, who was later a composer for Broadway and Hollywood.

The President of the Harvard Dramatic Society, Charles Leatherbee, along with the President of Princeton's Theatre Intime, Bretaigne Windust, who together had established the University Players on Cape Cod the summer before, persuaded Sullavan to join them for their second summer season. Another member of the University Players was Henry Fonda, who had the comic lead in Close Up.

In the summer of 1929 Sullavan appeared opposite Fonda in The Devil in the Cheese, her debut on the professional stage. She returned for most of the University Players' 1930 season. In 1931, she squeezed in one production with the University Players between the closing of the Broadway production of A Modern Virgin in July and its tour in September. She rejoined the University Players for most of their 18-week 1930–31 winter season in Baltimore.

Sullavan's parents did not approve of her choice of career. She played the lead in Strictly Dishonorable (1930) by Preston Sturges, which her parents attended. Confronted with her evident talent, their objections ceased. "To my deep relief", Sullavan later recalled. "I thought I'd have to put up with their yappings on the subject forever."

A Shubert scout saw her in that play as well and eventually she met Lee Shubert himself. At the time, Sullavan was suffering from a bad case of laryngitis and her voice was huskier than usual. Shubert loved it. In subsequent years Sullavan would joke that she cultivated that "laryngitis" into a permanent hoarseness by standing in every available draft.

Sullavan made her debut on Broadway in A Modern Virgin (a comedy by Elmer Harris), on May 20, 1931.

At one point in 1932 she starred in four Broadway flops in a row (If Love Were All, Happy Landing, Chrysalis (with Humphrey Bogart) and Bad Manners), but the critics praised Sullavan for her performances in all of them. In March 1933, Sullavan replaced another actor in Dinner at Eight in New York. Movie director John M. Stahl happened to be watching the play and was intrigued by Sullavan. He decided she would be perfect for a picture he was planning, Only Yesterday.

At that time Sullavan had already turned down offers for five-year contracts from Paramount and Columbia. Sullavan was offered a three-year, two-pictures-a-year contract at $1,200 a week. She accepted it and had a clause put in her contract that allowed her to return to the stage on occasion. Later on in her career, Sullavan would sign only short-term contracts because she did not want to be "owned" by any studio.

Sullavan arrived in Hollywood on May 16, 1933, her 24th birthday. Her film debut came that same year in Only Yesterday. She chose her scripts carefully. She was dissatisfied with her performance in Only Yesterday. When she saw herself in the early rushes, she was so appalled that she tried to buy out her contract for $2,500, but Universal refused.

In his November 10, 1933, review in The New York Herald Tribune, Richard Watts, Jr. wrote that Sullavan "plays the tragic and lovelorn heroine of this shrewdly sentimental orgy with such forthright sympathy, wise reticence and honest feeling that she establishes herself with some definiteness as one of the cinema people to be watched".[11] She followed that role with one in Little Man, What Now? (1934), about a couple struggling to survive in impoverished post–World War I Germany.

Originally, Universal was reluctant to make a movie about unemployment, starvation and homelessness, but Little Man was an important project to Sullavan. After Only Yesterday she wanted to try "the real thing". She later said that it was one of the few things she did in Hollywood that gave her a great measure of satisfaction. The Good Fairy (1935) was a comedy that Sullavan chose to illustrate her versatility. During the production, she married its director, William Wyler.

King Vidor's So Red the Rose (1935) dealt with people in the South in the aftermath of the Civil War. It preceded by one year the publication of Margaret Mitchell's bestselling novel Gone With the Wind, and the novel's film adaptation by four years; the latter became a blockbuster. Sullavan played a childish Southern belle who matures into a responsible woman. The film also dealt with the situation of characters who were freed black slaves.

In Next Time We Love (1936), Sullavan plays opposite the then-unknown James Stewart. She had been campaigning for Stewart to be her leading man and the studio complied for fear that she would stage a threatened strike. The film dealt with a married couple who had grown apart over the years. The plot was unconvincing and simple, but the gentle interplay between Sullavan and Stewart saves the movie from being a soapy and sappy experience. Next Time We Love was the first of four films made by Sullavan and Stewart.

In the comedy The Moon's Our Home (1936), Sullavan played opposite her ex-husband Henry Fonda. The original script was rather pallid, and Dorothy Parker and Alan Campbell were brought in to punch up the dialogue, reportedly at Sullavan's insistence. Sullavan and Fonda play a newly married couple, and the movie is a cavalcade of insults and quips. Her seventh film, Three Comrades (1938), is a drama set in post–World War I Germany. Three returning German soldiers meet Sullavan who joins them and eventually marries one of them. She gained an Oscar nomination for her role and was named the year's best actress by the New York Film Critics Circle.

Sullavan reunited with Stewart in The Shopworn Angel (1938). Stewart played a sweet, naive Texan soldier on his way to Europe (World War I) who marries Sullavan on the way. Her ninth film was the rather soapy The Shining Hour (1938), playing the suicidal sister-in-law to Joan Crawford. In The Shop Around the Corner (1940), Sullavan and Stewart worked together again, playing colleagues who do not get along at work, but have both responded to a lonely-hearts ad and are (without knowing it) exchanging letters with each other.

The Mortal Storm (1940) was the last movie Sullavan and Stewart did together. Sullavan played a young German girl engaged in 1933 to a confirmed Nazi (Robert Young). When she realizes the true nature of his political views, she breaks the engagement and turns her attention to anti-Nazi Stewart. Later, trying to flee the Nazi regime, Sullavan and Stewart attempt to ski across the border to safety in Austria. Sullavan is gunned down by the Nazis (under orders from her ex-fiance). Stewart, at her request, picks up the dying Sullavan and takes her by skis into Austria, so she can die in what was still a free country.

Back Street (1941) was lauded as one of the best performances of Sullavan's Hollywood career. She wanted Charles Boyer to play opposite her so much that she agreed to surrender top billing to him. Boyer plays a selfish and married banker and Sullavan his long-suffering mistress. Although he loves Sullavan, he is unwilling to leave his wife and family in favour of her. So Ends Our Night (1941) was another wartime drama. Sullavan (on loan for a one-picture deal from Universal) plays a Jewish girl perpetually on the move with falsified passport and identification papers and always fearing that the officials will discover her. On her way across Europe, she meets up with a young Jewish man (Glenn Ford) and the two fall in love.

A 1940 court decision obligated Sullavan to fulfill her original 1933 agreement with Universal, requiring her to make two more films for them. Back Street (1941) came first. The light comedy, Appointment for Love (1941), was Sullavan's last picture with that company. In the film, Sullavan appeared with Boyer again. Boyer's character marries Sullavan, who tells him that his past affairs mean nothing to her. She insists that each must have an apartment in the same building and that they meet only once a day, at seven o'clock in the morning.

Cry 'Havoc' (1943) is a World War II drama and a rare all-female film. Sullavan played the strong mother figure who keeps a crew of nurses in line in a dugout in Bataan, while they are awaiting the advance of Japanese soldiers who are about to take over. It was the last film Sullavan made with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. After its completion, she was free of all film commitments. She had often referred to MGM and Universal as "jails". When her husband, Leland Hayward, tried to read her the good reviews of Cry 'Havoc', she responded with usual bluntness: "You read them, use them for toilet paper. I had enough hell with that damned picture while making it – I don't want to read about it now!"

Sullavan's co-starring roles with James Stewart are among the highlights of their early careers. In 1935, Sullavan had decided on doing Next Time We Love. She had strong reservations about the story, but had to "work off the damned contract". The script contained a role she thought might be ideal for Stewart, who was best friends with Sullavan's first husband, actor Henry Fonda. Years earlier, during a casual conversation with some fellow actors on Broadway, Sullavan predicted Stewart would become a major Hollywood star.

By 1936, Stewart was a contract player at MGM but getting only small parts in B-movies. At that time Sullavan worked for Universal and when she brought up Stewart's name, they were puzzled. The Universal casting people had never heard of him. At Sullavan's suggestion Universal agreed to test him for her leading man and eventually he was borrowed from a willing MGM to star with Sullavan in Next Time We Love.

Stewart had been nervous and unsure of himself during the early stages of production. At that time he had only had two minor MGM parts which had not given him much camera experience. The director, Edward H. Griffith, began bullying Stewart. "Maggie, he's wet behind the ears," Griffith told Sullavan. "He's going to make a mess of things."

She believed in Stewart and spent evenings coaching him and helping him scale down his awkward mannerisms and hesitant speech that were soon to be famous around the world. "It was Margaret Sullavan who made James Stewart a star," director Griffith later said. "And she did, too," Bill Grady from MGM agreed. "That boy came back from Universal so changed I hardly recognized him." Gossip in Hollywood at that time (1935–36) was that William Wyler, Sullavan's then-husband, was suspicious about his wife's and Stewart's private rehearsing together.

When Sullavan divorced Wyler in 1936 and married Leland Hayward that same year, they moved to a colonial house just a block down from Stewart.[22] Stewart's frequent visits to the Sullavan/Hayward home soon restoked the rumors of his romantic feelings for Sullavan. Sullavan and Stewart's second movie together was The Shopworn Angel (1938). "Why, they're red-hot when they get in front of a camera," Louis B. Mayer said about their onscreen chemistry. "I don't know what the hell it is, but it sure jumps off the screen."

Walter Pidgeon, who was part of the triangle in The Shopworn Angel later recalled: "I really felt like the odd-man-out in that one. It was really all Jimmy and Maggie ... It was so obvious he was in love with her. He came absolutely alive in his scenes with her, playing with a conviction and a sincerity I never knew him to summon away from her." Eventually the duo made four movies together between 1936 and 1940 (Next Time We Love, The Shopworn Angel, The Shop Around the Corner, and The Mortal Storm).

Sullavan took a break from films from 1943-50. Throughout her career, Sullavan seemed to prefer the stage to the movies. She felt that only on the stage could she improve her skills as an actor. "When I really learn to act, I may take what I have learned back to Hollywood and display it on the screen", she said in an interview in October 1936 (when she was doing Stage Door on Broadway between movies). "But as long as the flesh-and-blood theatre will have me, it is to the flesh-and-blood theatre I'll belong. I really am stage-struck. And if that be treason, Hollywood will have to make the most of it".

Another reason for her early retirement from the screen (1943) was that she wanted to spend more time with her children, Brooke, Bridget and Bill (then 6, 4 and 2 years old). She felt that she had been neglecting them and felt guilty about it.[25] Sullavan would still do stage work on occasion. From 1943–44 she played the sexually inexperienced but curious Sally Middleton in The Voice of the Turtle (by John Van Druten) on Broadway and later in London (1947). After her short return to the screen in 1950 with No Sad Songs for Me, she did not return to the stage until 1952.

Her choice then was as the suicidal Hester Collyer, who meets a fellow sufferer, Mr. Miller (played by Herbert Berghof), in Terence Rattigan's The Deep Blue Sea. In 1953 she agreed to appear in Sabrina Fair by Samuel Taylor.

She came back to the screen in 1950 to do one last picture, No Sad Songs for Me. She played a suburban housewife and mother who learns that she will die of cancer within a year and who then determines to find a "second" wife for her soon-to-be-widower husband (Wendell Corey). Natalie Wood, then eleven, plays their daughter.

After No Sad Songs for Me and its favorable reviews, Sullavan had a number of offers for other films, but she decided to concentrate on the stage for the rest of her career.

In 1955–56 Sullavan appeared in Janus, a comedy by playwright Carolyn Green. Sullavan played the part of Jessica who writes under the pen name Janus, and Robert Preston played her husband. The play ran for 251 performances from November 1955 to June 1956.

In the late 1950s Sullavan's hearing and depression were getting worse. However, in 1959 she agreed to do Sweet Love Remembered by playwright Ruth Goetz. It was to be Sullavan's first Broadway appearance in four years. Rehearsals began on December 1, 1959. She had mixed emotions about a return to acting and her depression soon became clear to everyone: "I loathe acting", she said on the very day she started rehearsals. "I loathe what it does to my life. It cancels you out. You cannot live while you are working. You are a person surrounded by an unbreachable wall".

On December 18, 1955, Sullavan appeared as the mystery guest on the TV panel show What's My Line?.

Sullavan had a reputation for being both temperamental and straightforward. On one occasion Henry Fonda had decided to take up a collection for a 4th of July fireworks display. After Sullavan refused to make a contribution, Fonda complained loudly to a fellow actor. Then Sullavan rose from her seat and doused Fonda from head to foot with a pitcher of ice water. Fonda made a stately exit, and Sullavan, composed and unconcerned, returned to her table and ate heartily. Another of her blowups almost killed Sam Wood, one of the founders of the Motion Picture Alliance. Wood was a keen anti-Communist. He dropped dead from a heart attack shortly after a raging argument with Sullavan, who had refused to fire a writer on a proposed film on account of his left-wing views. Louis B. Mayer always seemed wary and nervous in her presence. "She was the only player who outbullied Mayer", Eddie Mannix of MGM later said of Sullavan. "She gave him the willies".

Sullavan was married four times. She married actor Henry Fonda on December 25, 1931, while both were performing with the University Players in its 18-week winter season in Baltimore at the Congress Hotel Ballroom on West Franklin Street near North Howard St. Sullavan and Fonda separated after two months and divorced in 1933.

After separating from Fonda, Sullavan began a relationship with Broadway producer Jed Harris. She later began a relationship with William Wyler, the director of her next movie, The Good Fairy (1935). They were married in November 1934, and divorced in March 1936.

Sullavan's third marriage was to agent and producer Leland Hayward. Hayward had been Sullavan's agent since 1931. They married on November 15, 1936. At the time of the marriage, Sullavan was pregnant with the couple's first child. Their daughter, Brooke, was born in 1937 and later became an actress. The couple had two more children, Bridget (1939 – October 17, 1960) and William III "Bill" (1941–2008), who became a film producer and attorney. In 1947, Sullavan filed for divorce after discovering that Hayward was having an affair with socialite Slim Keith. Their divorce became final on April 20, 1948.

In 1950, Sullavan married for a fourth and final time to English investment banker Kenneth Wagg. They remained married until her death in 1960.

Sullavan’s children, in particular Bridget and Bill, often proved rebellious and contrary. As a result of the divorce from Hayward, the family fell apart. Sullavan felt that Hayward was trying to alienate their children from her. When the children went to California to visit their father they were so spoiled with expensive gifts that, when they returned to their mother in Connecticut, they were deeply discontented with what they saw as a staid lifestyle.

By 1955, when Sullavan's two younger children told their mother that they preferred to stay with their father permanently, she suffered a nervous breakdown. Sullavan's eldest daughter, Brooke, later wrote about the breakdown in her 1977 autobiography Haywire: Sullavan had humiliated herself by begging her son to stay with her. He remained adamant and his mother had started to cry. "This time she couldn't stop. Even from my room the sound was so painful I went into my bathroom and put my hands on my ears". In another scene from the book, a friend of the family (Millicent Osborne) had been alarmed by the sound of whimpering from the bedroom: "She walked in and found mother under the bed, huddled in a foetal position. Kenneth was trying to get her out. The more authoritative his tone of voice, the farther under she crawled. Millicent Osborne took him aside and urged him to speak gently, to let her stay there until she came out of her own accord". Eventually Sullavan agreed to spend some time (two and a half months) in a private mental institution. Her two younger children, Bridget and Bill, also spent time in various institutions. Bridget died of a drug overdose in October 1960, while Bill died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in March 2008.

Sullavan suffered from the congenital hearing defect otosclerosis that worsened as she aged, making her more and more hearing impaired. Her voice had developed a throatiness because she could hear low tones better than high ones. From early 1957, Sullavan's hearing declined so much that she was becoming depressed and sleepless and often wandered about all night. She would often go to bed and stay there for days, her only words: "Just let me be, please". Sullavan had kept her hearing problem largely hidden. On January 8, 1960 (one week after Sullavan's death), The New York Post reporter Nancy Seely wrote: "The thunderous applause of a delighted audience—was it only a dim murmur over the years to Margaret Sullavan? Did the poised and confident mien of the beautiful actress mask a sick fear, night after night, that she'd miss an important cue?"

On January 1, 1960, at about 5:30 p.m., Sullavan was found in bed, barely alive and unconscious, in a hotel room in New Haven, Connecticut. Her copy of the script to Sweet Love Remembered, in which she was then starring during its tryout in New Haven, was found open beside her. Sullavan was rushed to Grace New Haven Hospital, but shortly after 6:00 p.m. she was pronounced dead on arrival.[38] She was 50 years old. No note was found to indicate suicide, and no conclusion was reached as to whether her death was the result of a deliberate or an accidental overdose of barbiturates. The county coroner officially ruled Sullavan's death an accidental overdose. After a private memorial service was held in Greenwich, Connecticut, Sullavan was interred at Saint Mary's Whitechapel Episcopal Churchyard in Lancaster, Virginia.

For her contribution to the motion picture industry, Margaret Sullavan has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame located at 1751 Vine Street. She was inducted, posthumously, into the American Theater Hall of Fame in 1981.

Sullavan's eldest daughter, actress Brooke Hayward, wrote Haywire, a best-selling memoir about her family, that was adapted into the miniseries Haywire that aired on CBS starring Lee Remick as Margaret Sullavan and Jason Robards as Leland Hayward.

[jj-lynn21]

How A Girl Must Live Ch 5

Ch. 5: Family

  Ch1: A place for singles , Ch 2: Popular  Ch 3:Opening up   Ch 4: Dating  Ch 6 Violence begets Violence  ch 7 Love Birds

taging: @super-pink-a-palouza @luciferreads @glasglowgrin @loomiz @princessloveme123 @hornyhetero @taintedglass @bohemian-brian​ @maryan028 , @scxrsgxrd, lizziejorgie,  @waywardtigersandwich​    @michellarobinsonmoonchou @graceroarkc @yung-dumb-punk-barbie @geourajonedisco​

Warnings: fluff, mild smut,

“We should be at your family home soon Miss Samantha Anne Davenport.” Willard seemed to hum her name as he spoke. “Any topics to stay away from. I didn’t ask what your Father does for a living.”

After she told him her full name at the Soda Shoppe she didn’t realize he would actually use it. It was odder to her that she like it. “My Mother, Ruby Sue, like your Mother does not like anyone in the household to take the Lords name in vain. I do hope you attend church with us Sunday.”

“For you I will.” He takes one hand off the wheel to hold her hand. He brings it up to kiss each knuckle. 

She smiles. “I appreciate that Mr. Willard Abraham Russel.”  

“Tell me about your Father.” Willard prodded again.

“He goes off to work at the savings loan bank every morning.” She said proudly. “He told me once he helps peoples dreams come true.”

“That sounds like a wonderful job.” Willard thought about his best dream of late, just making Sam’s dreams come true. “I’ll have to talk to him about some dreams I have.”

“If anyone can help you, he can.” She points to a two-story brown home with cream trim. “There it is Willard. There is home.”

As soon as Willard turns into the driveway her parents step out to greet them happily. “This is much nicer than where I grew up. I bet you have indoor plummin’ and everything.”

As soon as Willard parks, Samantha opens the door and runs to her parents hugging them both. “I missed home more than you can ever imagine.”

“We missed you to.” They said in unison hugging her back.

Willard grabbed Samantha’s suitcase from the back seat before walking up slowly. He didn’t want to break up the family reunion too quickly. He was nervous about talking to her Father. He was nervous her Father would not want his city girl to be involved with a man from the backwoods hills of Coal Creek, West Virginia.

“Who’s your friend, Samantha?” Her Father looks Willard up and down studying him closely as Willard fidgets.  

She steps back threading her arm threw Willard's that is holding her suitcase. “Father, Mother, this is Mr. Willard Russel.”

Her Father stuck out his hand to check Willard’s grip and get a feel for the man’s character. “Good to meet you Mr. Russel.”

“Good to meet you also, Sir, Mr. Davenport.” He shook the man’s hand firmly.

“I hope you do plan to stay for dinner Mr. Russell.” Her Mother plastered a smile on her face.

“Thank you, Mrs. Ruby Sue.” Willard follows everyone into the house. “I would like that very much. Where should I put Miss Samantha’s suitcase?”

“Come now Samantha, you can help me finish dinner while your Father and Mr. Russel talk in the den.” 

“Yes, Mother.” Samantha scurried off with her Mother.

“I got it Mr. Russel.” Mr. Davenport takes the suitcase in one hand and opens the den door with the other. “Just wait for me in here. Have a drink from the bar if you wish.”  

“Thank you, Sir.” He goes in looking around the large room. It is almost as large as the whole house he grew up in.

There is a large dark cherry wood desk in front of a bay window with some papers stacked neat at the corner. A chair behind the desk and in front of it. And two leather recliners across from where he walked in. A loveseat that matches the recliners between them. The bar is to the right of where Willard walks in the room across from the desk area a few feet.

He decides not to get a drink as he crosses the room to sit on the loveseat to wait for Samantha’s Father. He tries to go over what he wants to say in his head trying to sound respectful and true. Willard stands as Mr. Davenport walks in the room.  

“Don’t get up on my account Mr. Russel.” Mr. Davenport goes to pour a scotch. “Are you sure you don’t want a drink? This is top shelf scotch.”

“No thank you, Sir.” Willard rubs his hands over each other. “I just want to...”

The man puts up his hand. “All I need to know is if you care about my daughter.” He paced as he continued. “She is going to be nineteen this year. I was hoping she would find a proper suitor at that resort. Mr. Jones says you are a good worker that has been with the resort awhile. I trust his instincts. So, are you serious about my daughter, Mr. Russel?”

“Yes, yes Sir.” Willard nodded enthusiastically.  

“Where are you from?” Samantha’s father continued to interrogate Willard.

“Coal Creek, West Virginia.” He answered. “I haven’t been home since the War ended since I was able to get the job at the resort. I would like to go introduce Samantha to my Kin.  Eventually, I’d like a home somewhere between here and there. Find a good job to support my family of course.”

“You have my blessing, Mr. Russel.” Mr. Davenport finished his scotch. “I’ll tell you what, when you decide to marry my daughter, I’ll set you up with a starter home with two-bedrooms, kitchen, living room and lots of land around it in Knockemstiff, Ohio. I think that is between both families. I can even set you up with a job at the local slaughterhouse if you don’t mind working hard for your money.”

“Wow,” Willard was pleasantly surprised. “I would love that. As long as Miss Samantha cares about me as much as I do her, we will be hitched by the end of the month”

“Splendid, my boy.” Mr. Davenport opened the den door. “Let’s go see what the ladies have prepared for us. Samantha and her Mother are both great cooks and Samantha has won first place twice with her cherry pies.”

Willard follows the man out down the hall towards a delicious aroma. When he finds his way into the dining room, he never saw so much food. There was bread on the table, country fried steaks on a huge platter, green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy. “This looks great. Where should I sit?”

“I have a cherry pie in the oven so save room.” Mrs. Ruby Sue told the men. “It is not quite as good as my daughter’s, but it will do. Sit at the other head of the table young man. I hope you like country fried steak.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Mr. Russel sat down.  

“Father, I hope you didn’t grill Mr. Russel to hard.” Samantha sat down close to her man or who she was hoping would want to be.

“I approve of your relationship, sweetheart if that is what you are truly asking.” Her Father smiled. “I talked to Mr. Jones who had nothing but great things to say about Mr. Russel. He is a fine young man for you.”

Samantha blushed. But she was also happy her father approved of Willard. She was starry eyed as she looked at Willard. He smiled at Samantha like a lovesick puppy. Willard followed the family’s lead as they held hands to pray. It felt odd to him. He had not prayed or went to church in years.  

They mostly sit quietly to eat other than politely asking each other to pass food. “I’ll be taking my leave after dinner.” Willard brought up as he ate a piece of cherry pie. “This is very good pie Mrs. Ruby Sue.”

“Well, Thank you Mr. Russel.” She smiled as she and Samantha collected the dishes.

Willard gets up from the table.minutes later. “I will be taking my leave for the night. I would like to call on Samantha tomorrow night if it is alright with you both.”  

“Of course, young man.” Mr. Davenport patted him on the back. “If you need a place to stay, I believe Miss Rose has a room open at her boarding house on the corner south and kingdom street.”

“Thanks Mr. Davenport.” He turned to head out the door.

Samantha’s Mother whispered, “walk him out dear. Go on.” She nudged her daughter.  

Samantha rushed over to Willard’s side. “Can I walk you out, Sir.”  

He turns smiling at her. “I would like that.” He takes her hand and opens the front door. They walk slowly out into the starry evening. “I will get some rest at the boarding house and go wrap things up at the resort tomorrow. I have one more check comin’. Then I will come back here and wisk ya away anywhere you want. So be thinkin’ about that.”

She turns in front of him at the door of his car. “I’ll be thinking about what I want all night.” As she said it, she could not believe her own words, flirtatious demeanor and thoughts leaning towards the lustful desire to kiss him before he prompted it.  

Willard took her hands and smiled. “No one will ever hurt you again Sam.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I will see you tomorrow evening for a proper date.”  He took his hands from hers slowly, got in his car and left.  

Samantha stood dreamily watching him drive away. Her heart pounding. Her mind racing to thoughts of being closer to him, His hands drifting down her body...”

“Honey come on and help your Mother with dishes.” Her Father yelled from the door. “I am sure your boyfriend will be back tomorrow night as he said he would.”

“Coming Father.” She ran inside to help with the dishes and with other chores before bed.  

Willard found the boarding house easily. Miss Rose was happy to give him a room at only a dollar a day for as long as he needed it. He slept for only a few hours before waking up in cold sweat from nightmares. Every battle he fought, and Gunnery Sergeant Miller Jones stripped of his skin hung on a cross covered in bugs plagued his dreams.

But also, a new fear swept over his mind. The thought that others wanted to hurt his girl. He could not save all his fellow soldiers, but he would sure as hell not let anyone hurt his girl ever again. He showered before hoping in his car to go take care of a few things.

He arrived at the resort right after the breakfast hour. He knocked on Mr. Jones’ office door. He was anxious since he never came back with Miss Samantha the day before and had been rough with Mr. Preston.  

“Come.” Mr. Jones stated solemnly.  

Willard entered taking his hat off. “Sir, I’m sorry I never came back with Miss. Samantha yesterday.” He fingered the brim of his hat. “There was another incident with her and one of the boys again. I thought it best to get her home safely.”  

Mr. Jones twisted his mouth in contemplation before speaking. “I heard you roughly grabbed Mr. Preston. I knew there had to be a reason for it, but I also told you one more incident and you would no longer be working here.”

“Yes Sir.” Willard stood up straighter walking up to the edge of Mr. Jones desk. His hands plant on the edge. “I’m sorry I disappointed you Sir. But I would pull Mr. Preston off any girl he was attacking. That kind of behavior is never alright.”

Mr. Jones stood, eyeing Mr. Russel directly. “I agree with you, but you could have yelled for him to stop. Tell him the consequence of his actions. And brought him directly to my office.” His voice was stern. “I will talk to Mr. Preston when he is back on grounds. He has a day pass with a few other boys to hang out in town. Because Mr. Davenport called to thank us for introducing his daughter to such a fine young man, I will give you your full last check. I hope you take care of her Willard. Clean out your room before leaving.” He sat back down and got out his check book to write a check to Willard for $50. He handed it to him.

“I will protect Miss Samantha with my life Mr. Jones.” Willard said ecstatically as he was leaving. “Thank you for letting me work here the last five year.”

“I wish you the best young man.” He shook his head when Willard shut the door. He was going to have to kick out another student this summer. He didn’t know how these boys were being raised to get here and think they could treat young ladies inappropriately.  

Mrs. Sally came in a few minutes' later. Her husband seemed so stressed. She locked the office door before comforting him on her knees. She knew that always helped him feel better. And she loved him calling her his good girl.

[thatfanficstuff]

The Light in My Darkness - 20

Pairing: Clint x Reader

Warnings: Rumlow, abuse

***

The motorcycle ride had been wholly unexpected and completely wonderful. You hadn’t gone for a ride in ages and honestly you loved it. The evening with Clint came to an early end as you were meeting Steve at the one oh seven to talk about the pieces you had for the show. You were excited to talk about the show with him but part of you feared him telling you he hated everything and cancelling the show. The rational part of you told you he wouldn’t do that. Would he?

You thanked Scott when he dropped you off and he told you to text when you were ready to go home. You paused outside the gallery and sucked in a breath, trying to brace yourself for the discussion to come. Finally deciding you weren’t going to get any braver, you opened the door and stepped inside.

Steve was in front of you in seconds as if he had appeared from thin air. The grin he wore instantly put you at ease as you shook his hand. “Y/N. It is so good to see you again. I’m glad we could get together.” He held out a hand toward your portfolio. “Is everything in there?”

You handed it over with a nod. “Yes. Or at least pictures at any rate. I didn’t exactly want to haul canvases around.”

He chuckled and headed toward the back of the gallery. You followed him into a storage room with a large table in the middle. It appeared he had already cleared a space for you and he opened the portfolio. You’d expected him to just flip through it and maybe go back to look at a couple of pieces. Instead, he lingered over each image. Sometimes he asked questions, sometimes he didn’t.

When he reached the end of your work, he leaned on the table and tapped his fingers against the wood. “Is this all you have?”

You’d completely forgotten the notebook in your purse and hastily pulled it out. “It’s the finished pieces. There are some partials I didn’t see the point of taking a picture of because you wouldn’t be able to tell anything from them anyway. I also have some ideas for new pieces.”

“Good. Let me see.”

You placed the notebook in front of him and flipped through the pages to show him your sketches. He nodded along as you explained your vision for each work. When you finished he frowned. “What about the photography piece at the show? The one with the woman’s back.”

“A friend of mine modeled for it. I promised she could have it when the show was over as payment. I could maybe get her to loan it to me.” You bit your lip. You’d liked the piece as well, but thought you had better work, anyway.

He waved a hand through the air. “Not necessary.” He sighed. “I’m going to be honest here, Y/N. I like what you have here and the other pieces you have planned, but something’s missing.”

A knot formed in your stomach. “Like what?”

He raked a hand through his hair. “A showpiece maybe? A theme? Just something…more.”

You chewed at your lip and flipped to a different page in your notebook. “I had another idea.”

As you flipped through the next several pages of the book, Steve began to nod. “This is perfect. Absolutely perfect.” He glanced from the page to you. “You sure about this?”

That made you smile. “I wouldn’t have shown you if I wasn’t.”

He tilted his head with a grin. “Fair enough.”

“Would it be okay if I took some pictures of the gallery before I go? It would help me decide on sizes and may help me come up with a new piece,” you asked as you gathered your things up.

“Of course.” He walked toward the door and motioned for you to follow. “Come on, I’ll even show you the best angles.”

***

In the days that followed, you noticed Clint was quieter than usual. When you asked him about it, he blamed work and you left it alone. You weren’t certain you believed him, but you also didn’t want to push too hard. Something in his demeanor had changed though you couldn’t quite pinpoint it. It was enough to have you treading carefully around him, afraid if you made the wrong move, you’d lose him.

You’d started keeping the door to your studio closed when he was around. When he asked why you simply told him you wanted him to be as surprised as everyone else when your show opened. In truth, your new work left you feeling vulnerable and raw. That wasn’t a conversation you cared to have with Clint just yet.

Soon it was a Friday night the week before Thanksgiving. You were meeting Clint at another dinner though you couldn’t remember the charity for this one. He was supposed to pick you up, but you lost track of time and told him you’d meet him there. You’d cleaned up as quickly as possible and slipped into the new red cocktail dress you’d purchased for the occasion. Matching heels and a pair of delicate earrings and you were ready to go.

Clint told you he’d send a car. Sure enough, there was a dark sedan and a driver waiting in the parking lot. You were a bit disappointed it wasn’t Scott, but he was driving Clint. You supposed he had to drive the person that paid him at least occasionally.

You gave a nod of thanks to the driver as he opened the back door for you. The ride to the venue was quiet and too long. By the time you arrived, you were more than ready to be out of the car and on Clint’s arm. You made your way inside and were immediately handed a glass of champagne.

Your gaze darted around the crowded room until you found Clint. His back was to you and he was in deep conversation with Tony Stark from the look of things. Pepper glanced up and grinned when you caught her eye. You lifted a hand in greeting but were stopped by a touch on your arm as you stepped in their direction.  

When you turned, you were surprised to find your father. More so, that he was sober and calm. “Can I have a word? It will just take a moment.”

“Of course.” You glanced back to see Pepper frowning in concern. You simply shook your head and did your best to convey that you were fine. Clint was still pissed at Rumlow over the last time so when your father steered you to a small room down the hall from the main event, you went without complaint. He rarely asked for your time when he wasn’t angry so when he did, you tended to give it to him. Ass he may be, but he was still your father.

The two of you ended up in some sort of sitting room and you perched on the edge of a chair. “So, what did you want to talk about?” you asked when he didn’t immediately start talking.

“I still don’t approve of you leaving business school. However, it has been brought to my attention that you are succeeding in your endeavors at this school of yours which I suppose means you won’t switching back.”

You tilted your head and studied him with a furrowed brow. His tone was unreadable and you weren’t certain if this was his idea of conceding the point or if he was annoyed at your success. “I suppose you’re going to have to explain for me just what you’re trying to tell me here, dad. I can’t tell if you’re pleased or pissed.”

He grunted. “Which do you suppose it is, Y/N?”

You sighed and crossed your arms over your chest. You’d been a disappointment to your father in one way or another since he discovered your existence. Eventually it would cease to surprise you. “Okay, I get it. You’re pissed I’m in art school. I think we’ve already had this conversation two or three hundred times.”

“See, that’s just it. I don’t think you do get it. Because if you did, we wouldn’t need to keep having this conversation.” He paced the small room as he spoke.

With a huff, you got to your feet. He always wanted you to sit while he loomed over you to lecture you. You guessed he thought you’d feel more intimidated. He’d ceased to have that effect on you years ago. “Maybe it’s you that doesn’t get it. Or maybe you just like to listen to yourself talk, because God knows I’m tired of listening to it. So unless you have something new to add, I’ll be going. My date is waiting.”

“Date? Is that what they’re calling it these days?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He grinned but there was nothing happy in the gesture. “It means we had a different name in my day for women that sold themselves for money.”

You clenched your teeth together resisting the urge to scream at him. That’s what he wanted after all—a reaction. “Well, you would know all about that. Wouldn’t you?”

“Funny. Let’s see if you think this is funny. I met with my attorneys this week. You are cut off. Completely.”

It was always came back to the money with him. Every. Single. Time. You sighed. “You cut me off months ago, dad. This isn’t news.”

“You misunderstand. You will never get another dime from me, ever. Even when I die, you get nothing. If you can’t do as I wish, you don’t deserve it.”

“Is that all?” He would do whatever he was going to do and there was nothing you could do about it. You refused to bend to his will any more.

He stepped closer to you. “Don’t you get it? We’re over you and I. If you decide to do as you should, we can talk about it, but until then, we’re finished.”

“You’re right, we are. Don’t fucking call me, don’t talk to me. In fact, why don’t you forget I even fucking exist?”

“That’s how you talk to your father?” Anger had him tensing and stepping closer to you.

“Are you serious right now? You’re the one who said we were finished, but you’re pissed when I act like it?” You sighed. You were so over his mind games. You’d been dealing with them since you were ten years old and frankly, you were exhausted.

“So, you don’t even care that I’m not going to be in your life anymore? I really mean that little to you?” His voice was firm, angry but you thought for a moment you might have seen just a bit of remorse on his face.

You resisted the urge to stomp your feet in irritation. Barely. “I’m not the one doing this. You are.” His glare hardened as you continued. “But you don’t see it that way, do you? This is my fault because I won’t fall in line. You are such an asshole.”

Pain flared through your cheek and it took a moment for you to realize that he’d slapped you. Before you could even think of responding, he was gone. You cupped your cheek in your hand and gave into your earlier urge to stomp your foot. “Fucking asshole.”

You took a breath and glanced at your reflection in the mirror. A couple more breaths had you looking less frantic and pissed off. Deciding that was as good as it was likely to get, you shoved what had just happened with Rumlow to the back of your mind and went to find Clint.

Nick and Maria had joined Clint and the others and you slipped seamlessly into their little gathering. You linked your arm with Clint’s and leaned into his side, just needing the comfort of his presence for a moment. After you greeted everyone, he leaned down to speak in your ear and you turned your head to hear him better.

“Everything okay?”

You hummed in annoyance rather than answering outright. “We’ll talk about it later.”

He leaned back with a nod.

You were about to say something else when you realized your group had gone silent. They were all staring at you with various degrees of anger in their expressions. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

Nick looked from you to Pepper. “Rumlow you said?”

She pursed her lips and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Right, then.” Tony handed his drink to Pepper. He straightened his jacket and looked around the room.

“What—” Clint cut you off when he grasped your chin gently and turned your head so he could see the other side of your face.

His transformation from easy going to furious was instantaneous and severe. “That son of a bitch.” You frowned again and he reached up to trace your cheek with his fingers. “If someone other than your father left this handprint on your face, you better tell me now.”

[sherryaptx4869]

Put a Ring on It

A gift for @jackel-gull happy holidays! 😊

Prompt: Coffee shop AU

(Also on ao3)

---

“Excuse me Ma’am, a muffin from that handsome gentleman over there,” the female staff interrupted Shiho as she is very busy typing at her laptop.

She looked over to the direction the staff is pointing to. She is in a rush because her laboratory report is due in just a few minutes. She needs to proofread everything before passing her output to her very strict professor, thus every minute counts. She’s a bit irritated that her momentum is ruined by the ‘gentleman’ the staff is pertaining to.

When she turned to look, the man waved at her. She merely nodded and proceeded to hunch over her laptop. She likes to do her academic papers at Poirot Café because 1) she gets the space she needs, 2) they really have delicious bread and pastries plus their drinks are top-tier, 3) they also have strong wifi connection. 4) It’s also a ten-minute walk from the university she is attending. Very convenient.

Five minutes before the deadline, she breathed a sigh of relief when she hit the send button with her report as an attachment to an email she sent to her professor. She massaged her temples and briefly closed her eyes keeping the impending headache at bay. She only has fifteen minutes before her next class starts. She allowed herself to relax for a bit when she sensed another presence at the table she is currently occupying.

She smelled him before she saw him. She smelled a faint, subtle smell that is not overpowering. Her trained observation skills as a scientist approves of his choice of perfume.

She opened her eyes, removed her earphones and eyed him. Up close, the guy looked just about her age- probably in his 4th year of college too. She noticed his lean body, and his calves are well-defined. She noticed a tan line in his arm when he waved earlier. He’s probably into sports.

She raised her eyebrow and regarded the stranger.

“Hi, I’m Kudo Shinichi and you are?” he said, flashing her a smile as he held out his hand for a handshake.

“And I was just leaving,” she said as she gathered her laptop, her papers and her books, stacked them all in her backpack and leaving not even sparing a backward glance.

---

“Wow, that girl is something.” Heiji teased Shinichi for the nth time.

“I wish I was there to see it when your ego was deflated and brought you back to earth,” Heiji continued. “I mean man, she rejected Kudo Shinichi, the great detective of the East!” Heiji is now clutching his stomach from laughing too hard, tears at the corner of his eyes.

Shinichi glared at him but that did not stop Heiji from laughing.

“Should I wait for you to finish laughing or are we doing detective work on her?” he asked Heiji.

“Huh, what work?” That caught Heiji’s attention.

“Returning this to its rightful owner,” Shinichi said as he fished a card from his pocket.

So Miyano Shiho is the name of the beautiful, auburn-haired woman.

---

In her rush to gather her things earlier, Shiho did not notice her library card slipped and fell to the floor of the café. Now, she stood at the heavenly doors of the library but not quite entering because her library card is missing. She meant to return the books and browse for other titles. Without her card, she couldn’t really enter, but what’s more important is that she can’t loan out books.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Upon checking, she saw she got an email from an unlisted account.

“Hello Miyano-san, I got your email address from the library card you dropped at Poirot Café earlier today. If you want, I can go to your university and return it there. – Kudo Shinichi, Detective of the East”, she noticed he’s studying at another top university in Japan from his email address. So he is the famous detective of the east.

“If it’s not too much to ask, I can meet you back at Poirot Café in thirty minutes. I just need to finish some stuff here and I’ll go over there,” she replied.

“Okay, I’ll see you then,” is his instant reply.

---

Shiho debated on meeting the stranger. Even if he is Kudo Shinchi, strangers are not to be trusted. And he’s definitely a stranger.

Dang it, her loaned books would have to be returned three days from now and if she doesn’t return them on time, she will accumulate penalties for her overdue books. She won’t be able to borrow more books on top of that.

She really has to meet with the stranger if she wanted her library card back. It will take a week for the library to process lost ID cards. And she needed hers asap.

She made up her mind, she’s meeting him and get it over with.

---

It’s 6:30pm. Upon her entrance at the Poirot Café for the second time that day, she immediately looked around and searched for some dark brown-haired guy. There were a few college students openly ogling the very handsome barista, Amuro-san. She spotted Shinichi at the back of the café. She approached him.

“Kudo-kun,” she tentatively called out to get his attention.

“Oh hi, Miyano-san.” He said as he got up to his feet and pulled the chair for her to sit.

“Thank you.”, she said.

“About earlier, I’m sorry if I came on as an arrogant guy. I was just being friendly with people who have the same interests as I do.” he offered an explanation.

She gave her a questioning look.

“Well, I saw you carrying Arthur Conan Doyle’s book and I got a bit excited to see a fellow Sherlockian fan,” he continued.

“I see. I was in a hurry myself earlier and I just don’t like dealing with strangers especially when I’m in a hurry. I didn’t want to be late for class,” she said without more ado.

“I also enjoy reading mystery novels, it’s just that I need my library card to borrow books from the lib.” She offered.

He handed her lib card and as his fingers skimmed over her hands, she felt a zap from the point of contact. Apparently, he felt it too.

To ease the sudden awkwardness of the situation, he said “Why don’t we start over? I’m Kudo Shinichi”

“I’m Miyano Shiho,” she said and shook hands with him.

“Shiho,” he repeated testing the roll of her name on his tongue.

The sparks from their hands touching is undeniably there. They quickly let go of each other’s hands and pretended to go over the menu. Shiho felt the blood rushing to her cheeks and she felt warm. Shinichi on the other hand felt his face flush. This beautiful woman elicited such a boyish response from him is something he could not rationalize.

They found out more about each other as the night deepens. From the café, they went to take a walk at the park. When it is apparent that they need to get some rest, Kudo offered to walk her home in her dorm.

The night has a certain chill to it, “It’s really nice talking to you Kudo-kun”, Shiho said as she’s getting ready to enter the building.

“We should do this again sometime, if it’s not too much to ask, Shiho” Shinichi replied.

“It’s too much given my schedule, but I’d like that,” Shiho said. She smiled before darting inside.

As Shinichi walked back to his own dorm, he mused over the evening. He got a big smile on his face even when Heiji kept one pestering him to share what happened with Shiho.

---

They fell in the same routine, meeting at the café, going on a trip together and having conversations about deep things, shallow things, whatever comes their way. They went out for a year. By then, Shiho graduated and is already working as a university researcher and Shinichi is on his first year of taking criminal law while still extending assistance to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department.

On Christmas day, they are at their favourite café where they first encountered each other.

“Do you remember the first time you rejected me here?” Shinichi asked Shiho.

“I may have remembered a little bit of that,” Shiho smirked.

“Heiji kept on rubbing it in my face how pitiful I looked back then,” Shinichi relayed.

“You need that to keep you grounded before your inflated ego take you away,” Shiho said before drinking her coffee.

“Heiji said that too. You’re in cahoots with that guy?” Shinichi pouted.

Shiho merely laughed. Her laugh is music to his ears. Not to be cliché but it just is. He never thought that this wonderful woman is willing to spend time with him. He hoped she still feels the same way for the rest of their lives.

Before his thoughts strayed any further, he gave her his Christmas present and planted a kiss on her mouth. It’s a bath bomb designed for aromatherapy. Her job at the research laboratory seemed to take a toll on her lately, she also catches colds easily.

Back at her apartment, she decided to use the bath bomb Shinichi gave her. She took a book by Agatha Christie to read while she soaked in the tub with the bath bomb still fizzing. She is basking at the sweet, floral scent from the lavender essential oil when her curiosity is piqued by a floating material. There were no fun additives for aesthetics such as glitter and flower petals in Shinichi’s present so why is there a floating thing at the tub? She grabbed the thing and a smile made its way on her face. Hmmn, she might play a little prank on Kudo-kun tomorrow when they see each other.

---

The following day when they met each other to eat lunch at the Kudo residence,

“How was your sleep?” Shinichi inquired when they were settled on his car on the way to the Kudo mansion.

“It’s good. Thanks for the special oils in the bath bomb, they really cleared my thoughts.” She purposefully avoided mentioning the ring embedded in the bath bomb.

“Did you find anything to your liking?” Shinichi pressed on.

‘He’s not his usual blunt, confident self,’ Shiho noted. ‘He’s skirting around the ring topic.’

“Well, I liked the lavender scent. I’d like to try the one with eucalyptus too, it clears the sinus,” she still did not give the answer he clearly wanted to hear.

He merely nodded. After that, he stopped speaking. Shiho made it look like she busied herself on her phone.

He’s clearly upset that Shiho did not find his surprise. It’s written all over his face, from his grip to the steering wheel.

They stopped by at a flower shop to buy flowers for Yukiko, Shinichi’s mom. While they are waiting for the store clerk to wrap the flowers,

“Shin, your phone pinged several times already,” Shiho informed Shinichi.

He checked and is a bit taken aback when his notification box is about to explode from congratulatory messages and best wishes. He clicked to see that Shiho tagged him in a post. His jaw nearly touched the floor when he turned to look at a smirking Shiho who put up her ten fingers on the air flexing his claim on her.

In her post where Shinichi is tagged, she uploaded a picture of her left hand wearing the exquisite ring with the caption, “Does this ring make me look engaged?”

Shinichi captured her in an embrace and kissed her hand.

“Yes, you look engaged and you look amazing with the ring too, future Mrs. Kudo” he whispered in her ear before fully capturing her lips with a kiss that is the promise of a lifetime together.

[babyatm1]

What Makes A Will Legal?

Residential Property You Should Not Include In Your Will

Content

If You Don'T Wish To Use A Lawyer

Indication Your Will In Front Of Witnesses.

To Determine Who Will Care For Your Minor Children

Secret Files To Have Together With Your Last Will As Well As Testament.

When Should You Obtain Legal Guidance To Compose Your Will?

Making Older Individuals'S Voices Heard.

Total An Inheritance Tax Type.

Using A Lawyer To Compose Your Will

What Is Probate?

A simple will is a basic will without any expensive stipulations or stipulations. You can state just how you want your stuff distributed and also that obtains it.

If You Don'T Intend To Utilize A Lawyer

Please keep in mind the table is sorted by Celebrity Rating adhered to by supplier name and also attributes web links straight to the carrier's website. Usage Canstar's life insurance policy contrast selector to watch a broader variety of policies.

Are online wills legal UK?

In order for a Will to be legally valid in England and Wales, you must sign your Will in the presence of two witnesses, and your witnesses must witness (sign) your Will in your presence; and this cannot be done online. clicking here 'll always need a physical document to be signed and witnessed.

Since Buddhists also turn down agenthood, the standard compatibilist methods are closed to them also. Rather, the Buddhist thoughtful approach is to take a look at the metaphysics of origin. Old India had several warmed arguments concerning the nature of causality with Jains, Nyayists, Samkhyists, Cārvākans, and Buddhists all taking somewhat various lines. In numerous ways, the Buddhist placement is more detailed to a concept of "conditionality" than a theory of "origin", particularly as it is stated by Nagarjuna in the Mūlamadhyamakakārikā.

Who should keep the original Will UK?

1. Leave it with a solicitor. If a solicitor writes your will, they will usually store the original free of charge and give you a copy – but ask them to make sure. Most solicitors will also store a will they didn't write, but there will probably be a fee.

Your will doesn't have to be a time-sucking frustration to create. You can make use of a simple will to describe who gets your things and also who deals with your kids if you die.

Check in to get going By checking in, I am signing up for get Canstar's Rate Checker e-mails as well as Home Loans e-newsletter. Specify-- for example, do not simply leave everything to 'my spouse'-- utilize your better half's complete name. The basic message is-- just utilize a Do It Yourself will if your desires are really straightforward and also your financial circumstance isn't complicated. If you live with your partner, yet are neither married nor in a civil collaboration, you might wish to take into consideration creating a common-law marriage agreement in addition to writing a will. While a will establishes what takes place to your possessions as well as items when you pass away, a common-law marriage agreement define what happens if your partnership breaks down-- so a bit like a will for the living.

That's because the enduring partner can not transform a joint will also after the death of their partner. So if an enduring partner remarries and also has a stepchild, they can't leave anything in the joint will to that stepchild. To learn more concerning making a will-- and to see every little thing Nolo has to use when it pertains to intending your estate-- visit our Wills, Trusts & Probate Center. Tell your administrator where your will is as well as how to obtain accessibility to it when the moment comes.

You will be asked to leave a gift for the Stroke Association in your will, but the decision is your own. The Stroke Association uses a complimentary simple will to over-60s or stroke survivors that are 18+.

TheCancer Study UKFree Will Service enables over-18s to obtain a cost-free simple will. Please keep in mind that which of the above charities is funding the system relies on your place. However, you can select to leave gifts to any type of charity you such as. You are under no commitment to leave a present (known as a 'legacy') to among the Free Wills Month charities.

If you are seeking to change an existing life insurance plan, you need to consider your personal scenarios, consisting of continuing the existing cover until the replacement policy is provided and also cover confirmed. Your existing policy might have various features to products presently in the marketplace. Please consider what functions are ideal for you when comparing insurance items as well as refer to the supplier for additional information on a policy. If you decide to look for Life insurance policy, you will deal directly with an insurance policy supplier, and not with Canstar.

Indicator Your Will Before Witnesses.

Since your will is full, allow your successors and also administrator know you have created a will and also where you are keeping it so that they can access it after your fatality. If you are married or have kids that are alive, checklist the names of your spouse and children and also your marriage day. You can produce your will either as a published computer record or handwrite it. Phone number the pages of the file (1 of 3, 2 of 3, 3 of 3, etc.) to ensure that it is clear the amount of web pages there are. While a lawyer can be very practical, you can produce a will yourself if you favor.

If your children are minors, decide that you wish to increase them in the extremely unlikely occasion that you as well as their various other moms and dad can't. Every will have to name someone to work as executor, to execute the regards to the will. Be sure that the person you desire agrees to offer-- the task should not come as a shock. Here are minority simple actions you need to take to make your will.

You can also pick the person who will ensure your will is executed as well as name a guardian for your kids if something takes place to you. And also you can even name the individual you intend to care for your favorite ferret.

If this intuitive photo became incorrect, after that presumably that we can not legitimately be held ethically in charge of our actions. Besides, if I do not have free will in a feeling that involves alternate possibilities, after that I have to pick what I really pick. And also if I have to choose what I perform in reality select, then probably I am compelled so to select, and can not rather be considered morally responsible for my selection. It is extremely possible, after that, to accept something like the "Concept of Different Possibilities", according to which a representative is morally responsible for an action only if he could have done otherwise. If is true, then moral duty needs free choice; and if causal determinism dismiss such different opportunities, it would therefore dismiss ethical obligation.

Credit scores solutions for Aussie Elevate items are provided by AHL Investments Pty Ltd ACN Australian Credit Score Permit (" Aussie") and also its appointed credit rating representatives. Credit history and also any applicable balanced out make up Aussie Elevate are issued by Bendigo and Adelaide Financial Institution Limited ABN AFSL/ Australian Credit Permit. ASIC mentions the general public Trustee could not credit make your will if you are aged older than 60 or choose the Public Trustee to be your administrator. You may want to check with the Public Trustee in your state or area to recognize the needs that relate to making a will where you live. If you're contrasting life insurance policies, the contrast table listed below screens some of the policies currently readily available on Canstar's data source for a years of age non-smoking male working in a professional line of work.

However, many individuals do not maintain a recurring connection with a lawyer, as well as it is common for attorneys to dissolve law office and also create brand-new ones, so it might be challenging for your executor to find the will when the demand occurs.

Because your administrator is somebody you depend on, no person else needs to recognize the components of the will or that it also exists.

Also, if you relocate some range away from where your lawyer methods, it would be more difficult for your administrator to acquire the will.

Usually, the best location to save your will is with your executor.

Your lawyer may keep the original-- often for a nominal fee.

Such on the internet archives may be a good location to save information for an administrator, nevertheless, a court of probate might not accept a published duplicate from such a digital will vault when an initial is required.

In order to satisfy your duties as the administrator of an estate, you must first be approved the authority via a letter of testamentary.

If you do not recognize who that is or if you are uncomfortable approaching them, you can look the probate court documents in the area where the deceased person lived.

There are firms offering on the internet storage space of documents as well as individual info.

In Buddhism it is shown that the concept of absolute liberty of option is ill-advised, since it denies the reality of one's physical needs as well as situations. Just as wrong is the concept that people have no option in life or that their lives are pre-determined. To reject flexibility would be to reject the initiatives of Buddhists to make moral progress. Pubbekatahetuvada, the idea that all happiness as well as experiencing emerge from previous activities, is thought about an incorrect sight according to Buddhist teachings.

To Identify That Will Look After Your Minor Children

Credit scores services for Aussie Select, Aussie Activate and also Aussie Elevate products are given by AHL Investments Pty Ltd ACN (" Aussie") and also its appointed credit report reps, Australian Credit score Licence. Credit Rating for Aussie Select items is supplied by Residential Home mortgage Team Pty Ltd ACN, Australian Debt Permit (" RMG"). RMG is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Commonwealth Bank of Australia ABN AFSL and Australian Credit Report Licence. Credit Score for Aussie Activate products is provided by Pepper Finance Corporation Limited ACN (" Pepper"). Pepper Group Limited ACN, Australian Credit report Permit acts upon behalf of Pepper.

How much does an attorney charge to draw up a will?

Flat Fees. It's very common for a lawyer to charge a flat fee to write a will and other basic estate planning documents. The low end for a simple lawyer-drafted will is around $300. A price of closer to $1,000 is more common, and it's not unusual to find a $1,200 price tag.

The trick is recognizing your state's details needs and also making certain your will meets them. It's additionally possible to create a will that serves in every state so that you avoid any possible problems.

Trick Files To Have Alongside Your Last Will And Testimony.

How much money before probate is required UK?

It's generally considered that if everything the deceased person owned is worth less than £15,000 Probate won't be needed, but this isn't true in every situation. This is because each financial institution has their own limit that determines whether or not Probate is needed. This ranges from £5,000 to £50,000.

When Should You Get Lawful Recommendations To Draft Your Will?

signed by the proprietor of the will and be seen by 2 individuals. " If you utilize an online will package, get it examined by a lawyer or Public Trustee," economic regulatory authority ASIC's Moneysmart.com.au web site states, which adds that a solicitor or Public Trustee are most likely to bill you for doing so.

Nonetheless, there could be different guidelines in various locations of Australia when it involves wills, according to the Australian government's australia.gov.au info portal. The site advises that each person examine the rules that apply in their state or territory prior to beginning any service a will.

Complete An Inheritance Tax Kind.

This advice is basic as well as has not taken into consideration your objectives, monetary situation, or demands. Consider whether this suggestions is best for you, having respect to your very own goals, monetary situation and needs. You might need economic suggestions from a suitably qualified adviser. Consider the product disclosure declaration before making any type of monetary choice. For additional information, readCanstar's Financial Services and also Credit History Overview, and check out ourdetailed disclosure, important notes as well as responsibility disclaimer.

How much do solicitors charge to execute a will UK?

Some probate specialists and solicitors charge an hourly rate while others charge a fee that is a percentage of the value of the estate. This fee is usually calculated as between 1% to 5% of the value of the estate, plus VAT.

Nonetheless, the hope is that many will see this as a chance to aid their preferred cause. The advocate of PAP believes that the lack of the flexibility to choose or else does not by itself explain the lack of moral duty. see this page is because he thinks that when this absence acquires, its getting is itself discussed by, and can only be described by, the event of causal determinism in the actual series of events. The Concept of Alternate Possibilities and also the Frankfurt-type Instances. As I recommended above, we normally think that the future is a garden of forking courses-- that we a minimum of at some essential points in our lives have more than one path branching into the future.

It's after that inspected by a Farewill will specialist, who'll send you a web link to download your finished will, which you'll need to print, sign and also have actually observed. As soon as you more than happy and have actually authorized it, Co-op shops your will. As soon as you have actually done what you can, you'll obtain a follow-up phone call from a specialist will writer. You make use of an on-line layout, which is after that examined by Co-op Legal Solutions.

What To Expect From Your Lawyer

As soon as this impression is revealed, one's initial conviction that the absence of an alternate choice is sufficient for the lack of ethical duty is vindicated. There can be two various ways in which some variable makes a representative unable to select or do or else. In one way, the factor does not play a role in the actual sequence; it does not flow with the real program of occasions. In one more means, the element does move through the actual series.

[indigo-a-creeping]

Starting to get a little antsy, even though I still take Peri out of the neighborhood on weekends (we don’t see anyone else around).  I was scheduled to go to Paris in two days...  Not even in my top ten destinations, but I found a cheap flight and I was excited about exploring.  Another time...

I was called into work yesterday at the last minute, which was nice, and I work all next week, which I’m looking forward to.  Also thinking about getting takeout now and then to give myself some food enrichment and support the local economy a little.  ...There’s a fantastic little potato doughnut shop nearby that’s only open on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday mornings, and of course only for online order and pickup right now.  ...And there’s real food out there too, I imagine!

I’m being about as productive as I can be working from home, sending lots of emails, studying for the next level of certification, thinking about presentation topics that never pan out when I start outlining them...

One good thing about this situation is that a bunch of rats were adopted out, which we haven’t been allowed to do before!  Mostly retired breeders.  I love seeing pictures of them in their happy new lives!  Quite a few dogs have found homes, too.

And I got in touch with a real estate agent and got pre-approved for a loan, so... whenever a good house pops up, I’ll be ready.  I feel like I’m making pretty good money here, but then there’s nothing halfway decent in my price range around here.  So many boring houses.  But I’m in a good position to wait it out right now, and I’ll find my little cottage within 15 minutes of campus, full of charm and character, without major repairs needed, with fenced front and back yards, in a neighborhood where I can walk around with Peri/a future dog any time and feel comfortable.

We’re going to get a big storm tonight, with possible tornadoes.  Being from the midwest, tornadoes are no big deal.  ...But down here houses are flimsy little boxes, and there is one single basement in the state (that’s an exaggeration, but not far off - the Hemingway House in Key West has a basement that is a true architectural marvel, and has never flooded).

[mirk-eaves]

Choosing a Vet School

I had to choose between my two acceptances before the April 15th national deadline between Michigan State University and Long Island University. Below, I’ve outlined my pros and cons list for each school, which ultimately helped me make the ultimate decision.

Michigan State University:

Pros: 

Well-established and reputable veterinary school

Has own veterinary college infrastructure and teaching hospital

Reduced tuition starting this incoming year making tuition cheaper than Long Island University

I get to live on my own (as someone who really enjoys my independence from my family, this is huge)

Support group in Ann Arbor, a mile away (my lab, Ann Arbor friends)

Current students seem immensely happy and feel supported by their faculty and administration

Dedicated resources for vet students such as library, student space, psychologist, social services, financial help, clubs/student orgs

New curriculum: flipped classroom seems like a method in which I would thrive. I really like the idea and it excites me to learn body systems one at a time rather than all at once. I feel like I would succeed better in that kind of environment.

High NAVLE pass rate: historically the pass rates has been from 95% to 98%

Highly ranked: vet school rankings honestly do not matter, but it does give me a sense of pride and accomplishment to attend the 3rd best veterinary school in the United States, ranked 8th in the world (according to the QS 2020 ranking)

As an out-of-state student, if you commit to working in Michigan for one year after you graduate, the college refunds you the cost difference between the out of state and instate tuition for your fourth year, which is HUGE. They just give you a check, no strings attached, and you can just do whatever you want with it. They say some people pay their student loan with it, some people just go buy a car with it, literally that money is yours!

Support system from upperclassmen: there are established classes already at the school that I would be able to reach out for support, advice, and mentorship.

As I’ve been living and working in Michigan for the past three years out of undergrad, I can apply for in-state residency, which would significantly lower my tuition, if approved by the registrar (cross my fingers)

Lots of opportunities to engage in research, clubs/organizations, study abroad, etc.

Professors seem to really enjoy teaching and engage with the students to succeed. According to current students, they are accessible and supportive beyond just the academic sphere.

According to students, once you are in the school, the school tries really hard to make sure you succeed and don’t fail out.

Big sib/little sib and “houses” mentorship and bonding

Cons:

out of state tuition used to be one of the highest in the country (BUT pro: has been recently reduced for the incoming class!!!!)

Michigan. I talked about this more in my Michigan State University interview post. Basically I kind of want to move out of Michigan for personal reasons, but beggars cannot be choosers, and ultimately this really isn’t a big deal in the long run.

Long Island University:

Pros:

Close to my family on Long Island (~25 minutes away) so established support group in the area

I can commute to school, which saves money on high living expenses on Long Island

New school so can establish modernized curriculum and culture, without being bogged down by “historical” culture.

Honestly, a new, clean slate to establish culture, organizations, leaderships, and other opportunities.

New facilities being built mean state-of-the-art and modern technologies and commodities (usually), but I’m a firm believer of “show, not tell” and as this university has not actually built their facility yet, refer to the second and third bullet point of the “cons” list about this.

Cons:

I’d live with my family on Long Island (lol - I love my family, but we get along better when we have our own space)

Does not currently have a dedicated veterinary school/facility or teaching hospital. It seems like they have plans to build a veterinary school, but haven’t done so, yet. They have plans to start building in June, but I am hesitant to confidently think they would be able to have a fully functional and safe building by the start of term in August, especially now that there is COVID-19 hitting Long Island and that part of the island particularly hard. 

No plans to build a teaching hospital which means all clinical rotations will be off-site and done in partnerships with clinics/institutions around Long Island. I know some schools already do this and it works for them (ie: Lincoln Memorial University), but I am not personally a fan of this method because I feel like there would be inconsistencies with clinical assessment and evaluation and therefore would be difficult to normalize for each student. Also, I’ve heard some horror stories of partnerships falling through and students having to commute long distances just for a rotation, that’s not supposed to be an externship.

It was difficult to communicate with the school about the resources or opportunities they have available to students. They never really had a Q/A or informational session. It was difficult to determine how much support the administration and faculty provide for their students. How invested are they to our personal and professional success?

EXTREMELY confusing application process. This might be just because it was the first time they are taking in a class for their vet school and it will hopefully improve in the future, but the experience for me and many other applicants according to student doctor network have been awfully convoluted. I was one of the lucky ones that applied early and therefore the process wasn’t bad for me at all, to be honest, but for other applicants, it was very nebulous and it makes me doubtful of the college’s ability to communicate and treat their students at the same level as a more established school that already has their administration down pat.

I reflected and contemplated a lot about the different aspects of each school that made me excited and hesitant to attend there. Read more below to see which school I chose!

I’ve decided to become a Spartan at Michigan State University! :) Go Green!!!!

[hcneyjoel]

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, JOEL DANVERS. oh wait, you’ve been here. has anyone ever told you that you look like ROBERT PATTINSON? you’re CISMALE and use HE/HIM? just checking. and you’ve been here for THREE YEARS? you’re TWENTY-EIGHT too, right? just curious. you work over at POLLYANNA’S TEA still? you know people say you’re TENDER & SWEET, but PASSIVE & ANXIOUS so i guess take that with a grain of salt. well, at least i do know you’re excited for EASTER. bye now!

say hello to your resident soft boy & also tw for abuse & I guess? tw for trans pregnancy. not sure how to tag that but it could be a yikers for someone so!

Joel was born into the picturesque nuclear family. He was the second child. They weren’t terribly wealthy, but his father owned his own buisness and made enough to comfortably sustain his family.

Unlike his older sibling, Joel was a mama’s boy through and through. She doted on him. Their biggest bonding experience was in the kitchen, where she taught him everything she knew about cooking and baking,

Joel loved it, but even as a child he knew where his passions lie. He wanted to be a doctor. He wanted to help people -- to heal them. And as a result, he was fiercely dedicated to his studies.

*abuse* Joel’s mother was, unfortunately, a victim of domestic violence. His father was a drinker, and prone to fits of rage when his mother got in the way. This abuse was never directed towards the children, in no small part because of his mother’s quick thinking, but the entire family walked on eggshells around him. *end tw*

 He was a small, nerdy kid. Extremely anxious around others, and even prone to stutter over his words at times. He mostly had his head in a book, and really only socialized with a tight-knit group of friends throughout all of high school.

Joel is bi. He started dating his high school sweetheart in eleventh grade. They got married fresh out of high school. He loved Sam dearly, and she had been a calming force for him, but little by little their relationship began to change.

**general abuse tw for this whole section but its not graphic !**It started with the money. He couldn’t be in charge of handling any of it. Joel was already working two jobs to pay his tuition, but with his partner’s frivolous spending and poor financial decisions, he was forced to drop out after his first year.

There was emotional abuse as well. Manipulative, controlling behaviors from his spouse. Ever the yes man, Joel found himself complaisant, even if his vision of a happy future was slowly crumbling. Before long his partner was demanding to know where he was at all hours.

Joel did what he could to make his way back to university again. At 24, he was finally approved for another loan that would cover his tuition costs. He managed another five semesters, before being forced to drop out again, so that they could move.

When he was 25, Joel’s partner came out to him as transgender. This wasn’t something that bothered Joel, and he was more than happy to support him through his transition. They moved to Holiday a year later, so that he could have a fresh start.

They’ve been living here for three years. Joel picked up a job at the local tea shop and has progressed to head pastry chief thanks to the skills his mom taught him. Their relationship continues to deteriorate. As of late, Joel has been thinking about leaving Sam. Or he had been.

Right now, they’re in the middle of a pregnancy scare. Because Sam passes, Joel doesn’t want to say anything to out him, so the constant barrage of helpful relationship advice and gentle probings to leave him are met with internal screaming.

Recently, Joel has started having an affair with another man. (total wc). Its definitely going to be a big scandal if it ever gets out. He’s probs having an affair with his husband’s doctor or some crazy shit like that. But you know what? He deserves it, he deserves to have a healthy relationship w someone who cares about him dammit.

Joel is still...very awkward and has  a lot of anxiety. He’s only really calm and collected when doing his doctoral work. Its like all his anxieties focus into his passion for helping others, its another reason why he wants to be a doctor so badly. Without it, there is no calm.