#i was always losing access to something for an extended period of time

[wizlizbelle3]

Some logical things about the void state, brainwaves, etc

This isn't going to be formatted as well. I'm just throwing out information I keep getting asked about.

First of all, the void state is not a deep meditative state. You can use meditation to enter the void but it's not a meditative state because you're not aware of the 3d at all.

The void created your reality whether you like it or not but everything that happens to YOU was created by the pure consciousness. The reason your life was horrible is because you didn't know you could control it.

When you manifest with the void or in general, you have a few options. You can manifest literally anything and everything in THIS REALITY THAT IS YOUR CURRENT ORIGINAL REALITY, or you can shift. You get everything you want in this reality if that's what you want. If you wanna shift, you shift. You can script that nobody finds you weird but be careful and make sure you don't run into any trouble (you could just erase it even if you do so don't worry). You don't have to go anywhere. Nothing is impossible. Kind of the whole point of the void.

Alpha state is a state where you are still conscious but relaxed and not stressed out (unlike the beta state where you are stressed). Your thoughts flow freely in the alpha state and there is no restrictions caused by stress. You should always begin your meditation by getting into alpha state first because it makes going deeper in your mind even easier. It's also when you are focused on something for an extended period of time.

Theta state is a level deeper and it consists of reduced consciousness, lucid dreaming, REM sleep, etc. This is when we are about to go to sleep or wake up in our minds during dreams (lucid dreaming).

Now DELTA state is what babies and infants stay in when they're in the womb. It's a state where you lose bodily awareness and have access to your conscious mind. This is why so many get into the void with delta waves.

Alpha: So to induce each of these states, you have to meditate. But the levels of meditation are different. For Alpha State, you can use the distraction technique by @luckykiwiii101, follow the Nordic Witch meditation on youtube, or do the Silva method.

The silva Method is basically lying down and taking 3 deep breaths. On the first deep breath, imagine the number 3 and say it in your mind three times. Do the same for 2 and 1, breathing deeply each time. Afterwards, you count from 100 to 0. If you're not used to meditation, 100 to 0 should do it. But if you meditate constantly, you might need to do 100 to 0, then 50 to 0, then 25 to 0 to reach deeper levels of consciousness.

Theta: Theta waves is fairly easy. You need to stay still and allow your body to fall asleep. Take deep breaths and visualize a candle or an object in your mind (anything works great). Keep your focus on either your breathing or the object.

Delta: Delta waves can be induced by yoga nidra or transcendental meditation

Transcendental Meditation: Transcendental meditation is a type of meditation that involves repeating a mantra. This type of meditation is effective in reducing stress and anxiety levels.

Does that sound familiar? Yep, SATS requires a mantra or a looped visualization as well. Yoga Nidra also gets you into delta state. That's why it works. You visualize and hold this visualization as the last thing in your mind before you lose consciousness (waking consciousness that is).

So the point of all of this is that if you have not been able to induce pure consciousness despite trying the methods, it means your mind is overactive. I don't care if you fell asleep during a method. That just means your mind went from active (beta) or overactive (gamma) to Delta directly (because delta is induced when you sleep naturally).

Let's come back to the void. Like we discussed earlier, the void is not a meditative state. So why do meditative states lead you to the void? It's because meditation allows you to disconnect from your physical body and go deeper within your mind. The void is the purest state of consciousness. Each brainwave is a state of consciousness.

So the way to actually induce the void (a foolproof technique) is to not expect when you're doing the methods. Let me explain:

When you do any method, during it and after you're done and if you have not fallen asleep, you look for symptoms or signs. This brings your mind back to beta because you're questioning, searching etc.

When you stop expecting, you're letting your ego be put to rest. So the next time you do a method, if you feel that you're not stressed, move forward with any method and don't look for symptoms. But if you've been stressing out all day, do an alpha meditation first and then do anything else. The distraction technique is still technically SATS. You use the alpha state meditation to relax and then you visualize which puts you into theta, and eventually delta, then finally pure consciousness.

That's all I have right now.

[ourceliumnetwork]

mmm not liking today's Lore Revelation about myself. Unfortunately pretty sure i'm Right about aspects i don't wish to be right about, but on the other hand at least if true i can start working on it properly by addressing those things in the future.

[victorzhuzhakin]

Totally valid how you feel about the 'losing-interest-on-a-hyperfixation!!!' It also always makes me feel anxious and also like 'maaan, what is the point'.. BUUUT if it helps u, think of it as you have a little box and in that box you will place back those hyperfixations that right now are not that strong!! They'll be right there, ready to welcome you back when you feel again that hyperfixation or to give you a lil smile when remembering the good things of said hyperfixation!! Take it easy! It's valid!! （＾∀＾●）ﾉｼ

I almost never went back to old hyperfictions again, it was always a one-time thing and just thinking about how it once made me happy unfortunately doesn't help. Unfortunately, I am somewhat dependent on hyperfixations. I can only feel genuine happiness or peace during these times, and when I don't have a hyperfixation, the world seems empty. Although I do the same things every day as I do during a hyperfixation, just having one adds color to the routine.

If it helps anyone, I saw a video about how to "extend" a hyperfix and I thought it actually made sense to me personally. The video was in Ukrainian, but the point was that you need to moderate your ardor and distract yourself with something else, not devote the whole day only to your hyperfix, otherwise you can very quickly become saturated with it.

Previously my hyperfixations lasted quite a long time because I went to school and was busy most of the day, plus during my school years I had bad phones with bad internet access, so I couldn't get distracted from studying. When I came home, returning to my interest was a relief from studying. But after finishing school, I never went to any of my universities in person (the war and all that, distance learning), so I began to devote more time to hyperfixes. And now I'm just sitting at home. But I'm looking for a job, so I hope to still occupy my mind with something else, to return to the period when returning home was long-awaited, to immerse myself in hyperfixation.

So maybe this rather obvious idea about taking a break from hyperfixation will help someone understand something. I've also been told to pursue something on the side, but having another hyperfix feels like… a betrayal of the first one? Yeah it sounds stupid, that's just how it looks in my head

[hiveworks]

OBELISK - Interview with Ashley McCammon

September 2023

The year is 1908. Evelyn Reuter is dealing with the affairs of her deceased father in her hometown of Manhattan. While she takes solace in the homes of her queer friends, grief presses in around her until one day... the mysterious Margot appears in her life.

Obelisk is a 16+ gothic horror/romance comic about vampires and lesbianism. In celebration of Obelisk's return from hiatus, we asked author Ashley McCammon @draculings for an interview.

What was the spark behind making Obelisk? Why a webcomic versus another style of publishing (print, self pub, etc.)?

My original inspiration for Obelisk was in my frustration with lesbian vampire movies - there are so many of them, and none made for a lesbian audience, let alone involving butch women! I wanted to tell that story, and celebrate that point of view. It’s similar to why I chose to set the comic in 1908 - the early 1900s are something of a transitional period, something not explored often when we aren’t talking WWI or the Titanic. I wanted to tell a story about the radical change happening in just a few, unusual people’s lives, in this transitory period. As for it being a webcomic - as a young artist, I always wanted to make one! It’s such an accessible, experimental way to tell a story, where even the website can be part of the atmosphere. Making a deeply atmospheric, spooky comic, that feels the most fitting.

For new readers, how would you describe your two lead women?

Evelyn is muscling through her day to day when we meet her - she’s putting on a brave face, or one that she hopes exudes confidence - but really feels like she has no idea what she’s doing. (The impostor syndrome is incredibly strong - something I think a lot of people can understand!) She’s been left with this enormous responsibility on top of the grief of losing her dad, and having that job and security is pressed on her as something she should be grateful for. She’s absorbed that idea and really hasn’t taken a moment to breathe - or to consider what she really wants for herself. Margot is quite the opposite - she’s a vampire who lives only for her own desires, a hedonist who’s been floating through existence that way for as long as she can remember. For all of her self indulgence though, she’s never connected much with anyone. She holds herself far above people, only ever showing them this facade of a regular person. It’s very arrogant - but it must also be very lonely! (Not that she has anyone to admit that to… yet ;)   )

What can you tell us about what's lurking for Evelyn in the upcoming chapter?

Evelyn makes a very bold choice at the end of chapter two, one that scares her - putting her own desires first, impulsively, in a way that will change everything and surprise even Margot herself. (Patrons read way ahead and will get to see this very soon, and the time she spends with Margot throughout chapter 3 as a result!)

Obelisk is a traditionally inked piece, with some digital final touches. What guided your decision to make this a traditional comic versus a digital one?

It really wasn’t a choice, to be honest - traditional media is where all my passion for making art lives! Obelisk is drawn and inked traditionally, and finished with Copic markers and the occasional paint pen or colored pencil for that killer red highlight ;)

What are some of the challenges in working this way? What do you find rewarding?

It can be tedious to scan, piece together and clean up my pages, but ultimately I have a fairly streamlined process for it and I don’t mind. I love having a physical final product to look at and hold when I’m done with it, it gives me a sense of accomplishment and connection to my work!

Do you have any tips for other comic artists on resuming a series after an extended hiatus?

Put your health first, and spend time reconnecting to your story before diving back in. It’s easy to feel obligated by the hamster wheel of social media and garnering attention, but your own connection to your work in the long-term is what matters most. Obelisk wouldn’t be the same story if I hadn’t had that downtime, and it’s off better for it!

What are some comics that inspire you? Do you have any reading recommendations for fans of Obelisk?

As far as webcomics go, I’m a big fan of Tiger Tiger, Hemlock, Barbarous, and Heirs of the Veil!

What is the best way for fans of Obelisk to support you?

The very best way is through my Patreon! Patrons have immediate access to the next six months of Obelisk pages (that’s my whole buffer!) as well as tons of behind the scenes work as I develop the next chapter and share work-in-progress shots right from my drawing table.

Obelisk updates Wednesdays and can be read for free at obeliskcomic.com 🩸Be sure to white list the site on your ad blocker and follow @draculings for more info and updates!

[prince-honeypaw]

Hello hello you shall never guess who it is <3

I am sneaking in the back window and infiltrating your inbox to request some regressor!Giran headcanons, if that is okay? Something something the broker is always there to take care of things for the League, but who takes care of the broker? They are breaking into his place to say hello Compress needs a new arm again after that last fight this one is busted, but it's hard to do business when you're baby...or you know, wherever you see fit to take it, you know what you're doing. Please, I've had naught but crumbs and am withering away without any good good Honey food of my boy! 🌙

♡ Anything for you, dear! I decided to do some basic headcanons since I've never really gotten to explore Giran as a regressor, so I hope this will sate you! Please enjoy!

♡ It's already difficult for villain aligned and older regressors to find time to go down, but try being both at the same time! Not only that, but Kagero's regression is a rather recent development in his life. Sure, he isn't totally in the dark about it, having experienced Dabi and Jin in their own drops, but it wasn't something he really saw for himself as he felt that it was just... Out of his age range. That he was too old for it.

♡ Little does he know that no one is immune to the all encompassing warmth of regression once it latches on, and the seeds had already been planted! From Ken gently explaining that she thought he was a regressor because he has such a fondness for cute, but tacky trinkets and the like, to Jin being insistent on only wanting to play with Kagero when he feels small, it's practically inevitable that regression starts to gently saturate his life.

♡ At first he only really grazed over a wobbly sort of middlespace on occasion, which was not ideal when he was out and about. Sometimes you're an adult with adult money that you can do with as you please and then the next minute you're in a Build-A-Bear using your adult credit card to pay for a Pawsome Pink Bunny named Tulip. This is not a one time thing, despite him wishing it was; He ends up coming home with pacifiers, bottles, hot pink leopard print blankets, more stuffed rabbits, plush slippers- Whatever that little voice in the back of his mind wants he typically ends up getting.

♡ It isn't until after the incident at Deika City that he really and truly regresses. No middling, no slipping, just a full and proper drop as soon as there's no more risks to his life to worry about. And he drops extremely low! Two or three at the highest and infancy at the lowest- Not what he expected, but it's the cards he was dealt. After losing five entire fingers, it's reasonable to assume that he doesn't want to be anywhere near the MLA for an extended period of time, so Jin and Himiko follow after to make sure that he's cared for! ... Despite their own wounds.

♡ But, honestly? He doesn't tell them not to. Kagero is in a new, small, and vulnerable mindset that is genuinely frightening to him! He's scared to be alone, so Jin won't let him be alone. And where Jin goes, Himiko follows! And she follows with direct access to the Detnerat CEO's bank account that will be used to spoil the baby. "Five figures for five fingers seems fair to me!" She'd said while one of Jin's clones stole Trumpet's van to take Kagero home.

♡ It doesn't take Jin and Himiko long to figure out what's up with their broker during that car ride. What with them both having their own experiences with regression, they peg him as a baby pretty quickly and adjust their attitudes accordingly! ... Somewhat. They try their best, but they're very high energy individuals that are hit by that new baby high! Poor thing still cries over the intense energy they bring to the table so they're quick to scramble over themselves to fix it.

♡ Turns out that Kagero is very much a vibes only sort of baby! If the vibes don't match with how he's feeling, the only solution is to cry about them. He's also a shapes and colors baby, sitting on his bedroom floor with Tulip clutched in his good hand, mesmerized by the tacky fabrics and textiles in his closet while Jin and Himiko try to hunt down pajamas that are appropriate for a baby. Toga opts to simply Purchase clothes, being pretty trigger-happy with the company card in her little gremlin claws.

♡ Kagero's place was a total wreck when they got there, but it didn't stay that way for long! Jin felt responsible for Kagero and the state he was in, he was the whole reason Jin had somewhere that he felt like he actually belonged! So, using his recently reawakened abilities, Jin made it his personal mission to fix (or steal) anything that had been broken. The bathroom, living room, and kitchen had been the first to be brought back to a livable condition, which meant that it was safe for Kagero to finally have a well deserved bath while Himiko skittered around his kitchen like some sort of creature.

♡ Trying to wash off roughly a week or so's worth of blood and grime off of an injured infant is not an easy task which is why it takes three clones and grilled cheese-NO crusts!-bribery to achieve a clean and fluffy Kagero.

♡ Himiko has spent roughly five hundred dollars on clothes alone for this boy and she refuses to explain how. She simply says that a baby needs cute clothes that make them feel cute or what's the gosh darn point of it all! She has also purchased a myriad of adorable bunny Calico Critters that gains an appreciative croon from Kagero!

♡ The night is spent with old Disney movies on the TV, grilled cheese, and online shopping in the pillow fort that Jin and Himiko made... After trying to beat each other to death with pillows.

♡ Kagero has no interest in joining as soon as his pacifier is broken out. He has no taste for bedding based warfare, but he does have a taste for chewing and gnawing and sucking whatever is in reach, so the pacifier was an absolute necessity.

♡ When they finally built their ramshackle little fort and peruse a few online stores, (with Toga purchasing anything that even got the slightest reaction from the baby), Himiko scrambles off to the kitchen to show what she had been doing. She'd managed to find the bottles that he'd hidden away in the back of his cabinets and used one of them to make strawberry milk!

♡ With how low he'd been kept throughout the night, there's little fuss from Kagero when she holds the bottle for him, the sharp little manicure she'd pampered herself with scratching against his scalp and Jin's sturdy body settled up against his side.

♡ He wonders how he ever came to earn such a devoted friend in Jin and, by association, Himiko, but in that moment, the world felt just a little bit safer and a little bit kinder.

[nineliabilityrisk]

been thinking about my muses even though ive been way too busy to write. todays topic was michael so.

adding a cut bc these rambles are probably gonna end up ridiculously long

my michael uses (SHOULD use. stubborn headass often refused when he was little because he thought people would judge him.) mobility aids. even pre-scooping his repeated injuries from getting into fights / being needlessly reckless only exaggerated certain pre-existing conditions he had (weak / unstable joints + chronic pain making prolonged periods of unsupported standing / walking difficult)

when he was younger, before everything went to shit, he did get brought to the doctor and recommended an orthotic brace for his bad knee and a set of forearm crutches to help take the weight off his lower joints. he used the brace a lot when he was little and his crutches a little less often, but as he grew up and outgrew the sizing for both, there came a certain point where william couldnt be bothered to take him in for fittings or get them replaced (especially after an incident when someone at his school broke one of his crutches — after '83 william never really bothered intervening in any bullying related incidents involving michael and probably rationalized not getting him a new set by telling himself the boy deserved the treatment as punishment for what hed done)

so he stopped using said mobility aids for a good few years, but after he moved out and before the time sl rolled around, he did end up scraping together the money to at least get himself a new pair of crutches because his pain was only getting worse the longer he went without them. sure he didnt hold many jobs where he was made to stand for extended periods of time but after a certain point it ended up making some everyday tasks incredibly difficult for him

anyway um. obviously he could never bring his crutches with him into circus babys. imagine trying to crawl through a vent while dragging those things along i would die. he hated it at the time but he is at least somewhat grateful that he didnt end up losing them when he got scooped because there was no way he would end up being able to afford a replacement pair, especially not with how hard finding jobs was post-ennard

especially after ennard leaves, his Everything Hurts All The Time problems just get worse, and he ends up relying on the crutches far more than he ever did when he was alive — no matter how much (or how little) the remnant heals him, the nerve damage he experienced from his body quite literally rotting away isnt exactly something that just disappears overnight. his crutches help take some of the weight off his legs — he found out after breaking his femur that even his bones had beem affected by the animatronic's prolonged stay, seeming far more brittle than before. he gets pinched nerves / numbness from where the crutch rests just below his elbows sometimes if he puts too much pressure on them, and with a good chunk of his muscle mass rotted away its gotten far more difficult to support his weight on his arms whatsoever, but trying to walk unsupported would just be so much worse.

tl;dr: my michael af.ton is disabled and had been long before ennard happened. i dont bring it up much because i cant often find times where its relevant, but it is a fact about him that i almost always keep in mind.

[ this entire post was written by a disabled individual who uses the exact mobility aids spoken on in this post. mentioning the incidents where michaels access to his mobility aids was limited / removed by others OR younger michael refusing to use them does not mean i am trivializing such experiences or supporting those actions myself. a disabled persons mobility aids are an extension of their body and should be treated as such. taking away his crutches likely did lasting damage to his joints + the rest of his body. if you are someone who needs a mobility aid – no matter if you dont feel like you need it "enough," if you think it will help you and improve your quality of life that means you need it – never feel ashamed to use it or avoidant due to fear of the opinions of others. mobility aids are important medical devices and should be respected as such. ]

[papastrelle-game-journal]

sonic superstars

hit credits on sonic superstars. It's a weird little game. #1 this is not a 60$ game, not even close. It's on sale for 30 right now and I think that's still too much. As a sonic gane, it's fine. You jump, you dash, you spin dash, the spin dash is slower than I would want, much like the overall game. I played as knuckles the whole time but checked out sonic and Amy for a second. Amy gets a double double jump and is therefor great, sonic gets a drop dash, which I never really liked. Only 2 shields, vanilla and magnet, no elementals. There are 2 bonus stages, ones at checkpoints are the old sonic 1 rotating 2d maze. It was fun and honestly felt easier than the original game, but the rewards are currency for robot cosmetics, basically worthless. The other type is a 3D open area with spiderman like swinging, not nearly as good but focused on specific points to swing from and attempting to catch up to the chaos emerald. These were fun but really annoying sometimes when you didn't grapple the point you wanted despite feeling close enough. Getting a chaos emerald unlocks a special power for sonic, which range from "create a swarm of doppelganger to do damage" to "climb waters falls" to "see hidden objects" they all vary wildly but most seem incredibly niche. Some are needed to access secret areas, which was almost always underwhelming. The worst part is they have a timer when activated, and you lose them when that runs out or you get hit. They remain unavailable until you hit a checkpoint. This cooldown/lock out is individual to each power, but it feels like only 2 or 3 are actually useful. The bosses range from brain dead easy to frustratingly long and annoying. It seems like early on they can be cheese with chaos abilities and then later the devs realized "hey people can cheese these, let's give them long I-frames and move them into the background for extended periods to avoid this". Eventually you unlock super mode and that functions pretty much how it always does, however only one player can be super at a time when playing multi-player, and that leads to my next major gripe. The multi-player in this game, sucks, not other way to put it. It SEEMS like a huge afterthought and was not the focus of development, despite the marketing making it seem otherwise. When playing, if one character goes too far right or up, the other(s) are despawned and the camera becomes focused on wheoever was ahead. The other players can then respawn on the main player. The problem with this is you want to go fast, and very often someone gets left behind, destroying their rhythm and flow. The system doesn't always seem to know who is "ahead" and will sometimes despawn the wrong player. Even worse, if you get despawned, you lose any shield and emerald power you had. Shields quickly became useless due to how quickly they vpuld be lost without dying or taking damage. The absolute cardinal sin of all this multi-player jankery is that some levels, denoted by a character symbol instead of a number, must be played by the depicted character, AND ONLY the depicted character. Mandatory single player levels despite playing in multi-player. NOW, me and my friend accidently skipped one while playing, so they may be optional, but completing the previous level and hitting "next level" does bring you to these levels, and they are ALL relevant to the plot, if that's something you care about. I still haven't done the "extra" campaign with the new character but I find myself struggling to want to. A fine enough sonic game marred by terrible multiplayer.

[techbyrish]

Trakko: A Tech Geek's Dream Come True

Hey there, fellow tech enthusiasts! The moment I have been waiting for has finally arrived – the launch of the groundbreaking device, Trakko, on Kickstarter today evening. I can barely contain my excitement as I write this blog, and I'm sure you'll share my enthusiasm once you learn about this game-changing gadget.

As a tech geek who's been patiently waiting for the next big thing created by my friend A, I can tell you that Trakko is the innovation we've all been yearning for. Why am I so thrilled about it? Well, let me dive into the details and share why Trakko is poised to revolutionize the way we think about GPS tracking.

Lower Cost, High Value

One of the standout features of Trakko is its cost-effectiveness. GPS tracking has always been fascinating, but it often came with a hefty price tag, especially for real-time systems. Trakko, however, is set to disrupt this trend. It's a GPS logger, which means it's not constantly sending data back and forth. Instead, it records location data and stores it locally.

The result? A much more affordable solution that's within reach for individuals and small businesses alike. Finally, we can all experience the wonders of GPS tracking without breaking the bank.

Battery Life That Goes the Distance

If you've ever used GPS devices, you've likely faced the dreaded battery drain issue. Well, Trakko has that covered too. Thanks to its GPS logging nature, it boasts an impressive battery life that can last for days, even weeks, depending on usage. This makes it perfect for those situations where you need to track something over an extended period without worrying about constant recharging or battery replacement.

User-Friendly Simplicity

Are you tired of dealing with complex setup processes and continuous monitoring? Trakko simplifies everything. Its user-friendly design means you can place it in a vehicle, attach it to an asset, or even carry it with you, and it'll start recording location data without any hassle. No more deciphering complicated instructions or troubleshooting.

Discreet Tracking, Maximum Control

Trakko is designed to be compact and discreet. Whether you're tracking personal belongings, keeping an eye on vehicle usage without anyone knowing, or monitoring valuable assets covertly, Trakko's got you covered. It's the perfect blend of powerful tracking and subtle concealment.

Data Privacy Assurance

Privacy is a growing concern in our digital age, and Trakko takes that seriously. Since it's not a real-time tracking system, you have complete control over when and how location data is accessed and shared. Your privacy is in your hands, giving you peace of mind.

Maintenance Made Easy

Forget about constant maintenance and monitoring. Trakko requires minimal upkeep because it doesn't rely on an active data connection. You can review and download the recorded data at your convenience, making it a hassle-free experience.

Bye-bye Data Costs

Live tracking systems often come with data usage costs, especially in areas with limited cellular coverage. Trakko eliminates these ongoing expenses, making it a cost-effective long-term solution.

The Ultimate Backup

Imagine relying on a live tracking system in a remote area only to lose the signal. That's where Trakko shines. It can serve as a reliable backup tracking solution, ensuring that your tracking data is always recorded and accessible, regardless of network issues or signal loss.

In conclusion, Trakko is more than just a GPS logger; it's a game-changer that simplifies tracking, offers cost-effective solutions, maximizes privacy, and puts you in control. As a tech geek who's been eagerly awaiting the next big thing, I can confidently say that Trakko has exceeded my expectations.

So, join me in supporting Trakko on Kickstarter and be part of the revolution in GPS tracking. It's time to make tracking simple, accessible, and exciting for everyone. Get ready to embrace the future with Trakko!

[youthoughtiwasserious]

Because of my disabilities, both physical and mental, I have a love-hate relationship with trips.

I'm taking a very short road trip (2.5h one-way) to a friend's house for the Labor Day weekend. We'll be staying for 2 nights, then leave sometime early on Monday.

Packing for extended trips always stresses me out because of all the items I need to bring with me (and remember to bring). I don't need much in the way of clothing or toiletries, but meds and safe foods are a must for me. I have EDS, POTS, PCOS, IBS, OAB, & reactive airways dysfunction syndrome. All of these conditions can (and often do) act up at any point, so I always need to pack a bunch of shit to cover my bases.

Here's an idea as to what meds/medical items I packed for this short trip:

2 inhalers (steroid & rescue)

Medicated cough drops

Regular cough drops

SeaBands (luckily I don't get motion sickness on car rides -knock on wood- but I have them with me just in case)

Ginger lozenges (these are AMAZING for nausea, which I get pretty often & I hate bc I have emetophobia)

Extra strength antacids (for nausea or indigestion [a lot of foods bother me, unfortunately])

Charcoal pills (for when I ate something that REALLY bothered me & the lozenges don't work. Used cautiously & only as a last resort so it doesn't fuck with my medication)

Magnesium (for when I lean more toward IBS-C & for anxiety/POTS)

Small vial of salt (for POTS/rapid rehydration)

Electrolyte drink mixes (also for POTS)

Extra strength Tylenol (both regular & menstrual versions)

Antihistamines (sometimes these help with joint/muscle pain related to MCAS)

Compression socks (for pain & blood circulation)

Compression gloves (for pain)

Bengay or IcyHot

Urination device (for if my OAB acts up & there isn't a rest stop for a while)

Extra underwear & wipes (self-explanatory)

Towels (self-explanatory)

Big-ass water bottle (I get dehydrated v easily)

Safe snacks such as mixed nuts, Nature Valley protein bars, & peanut butter snack packs)

And I tried to pack LIGHT. But due to having COVID ~3 weeks ago, it's causing a flare-up for my lung condition, so I've had to be more aggressive with my treatment until I go for another pulmonary function test in October. It also must have messed up my already messed up hormones because it caused me to have a period for six weeks. The dizziness, headaches, and nausea that came along with losing blood for so long was not fun whatsoever. Now I'm just trying to be extra prepared for trips where I know I'm going to be expending a lot of energy & where I won't have access to my full "sick kit."

I also end up feeling embarrassed about needing to take care of myself when I'm not feeling well because I'm the only person in my friend group that's disabled. And they often forget that because, well, I don't ""look disabled."" I also don't like to bring it up too much because I feel like a killjoy, or like I'm holding them back. Often they're v chill about it when I do bring it up, which I'm super grateful for, but I can tell that sometimes they're thinking, "Really? You can't handle even this?" Which is...not great.

Anyway, remembering to pack all this shit, on top of all the other items that need to be packed, SUCKS. It gets so overwhelming for my executive dysfunction (bc ofc I have ADHD, too). I try to put lists together for each category so that I don't have to rely solely on memory as I'm packing, and it helps with not forgetting anything when it's time to pack up and go home. It's still a tad stressful to see so many items on my lists, but at least checking them off as I pack them is pretty quick.

Another thing that sucks when getting ready for a trip is time blindness always screws me over when I'm getting ready. Regardless of how early I get up or how many timers I set, I ALWAYS manage to take too long getting ready & then I leave for my trip way later than I wanted to. Luckily we hit the road only like 10 minutes later than we wanted, so it wasn't too much of a delay, but man that race against the clock always adds an element of stress that I could do without.

A saving grace for this trip so far has been my earbuds. I have the Anker Soundcore A40s I think & they are phenomenal (not sponsored I promise). I get overstimulated by sound pretty easily, and that includes the wind whipping around the car on the highway, or my life partner's psychedelic rock playing on the radio at a low volume (but still "too loud" for me). My solution this trip has been to put in my earbuds & turn on noise cancellation with no music playing. Oh my goodness I have felt so fucking chill since doing that. It no joke dims out the sound by like half - even with no music playing. Also they don't dig into my ears after a while like my 1st gen Galaxy Buds do, so I could wear these for hours. I'm honestly going to do this for my trip to Cancun 2 months from now bc holy shit this feels like a cheat code for me.

Honestly, I like trips. I'm not a fan of planes, but I'll get on one if it means I get to visit my friends and family in another state, or go to another country. I work in an office, so being on the road and feeling the sun warm my skin as I passively drink in the scenery that surrounds me is such a welcomed change of pace. Using the car ride as an excuse to ramble on about silly or deep things with my tripmate(s), belt at the top of our lungs to a musical soundtrack, or sort through my many scattered thoughts to my steering wheel, is something that I will never take for granted. Being able to escape, even just for a little while, the monotony of everyday life is what makes traveling worth it for me.

I often don't get the chance to see family, friends, or new places. Due to my disabilities and the chronic fatigue that comes with them, life experiences are not as frequent as I would love for them to be. So when the rare chance comes my way - assuming I'm not nursing a migraine, vertigo, or stomach issues - I jump on that shit.

I was not feeling this trip when I first got up this morning. I was dreading the packing, the drive, the symptom management, the planning of what foods I could eat at the restaurant my friends want to visit, & also I've been dealing with some pretty hefty social anxiety and rejection sensitivity lately so I've been avoiding social interactions. But the first part of the day ended up being okay, plus the trip has been smooth so far since we got on the road -knock on wood again-, so I'm a little more hopeful about the actual visit going well. Fingers crossed it's more fun and positive than I'm expecting.

[the-bau-quinjet]

My Name Isn't

Summary: You find out the guys (Bucky, Steve, and Sam) have a bet as to who can kiss you first, so you confront them at Tony's team building karaoke night.

Warnings: some swearing and drinking

Word Count: 3187

a/n: This was inspired by my love of the classic using karaoke to express your feelings trope and the song My Name Isn't by LOVA. I did change the lyric "yours" into "doll" though because it made sense in the story.

"Not a chance, Wilson." Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve walked into the room, unbothered by the familiar sounds of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes arguing.

"C'mon tin man, you afraid you're gonna lose?' Sam couldn't help but tease the super soldier.

"It's a stupid bet! Steve tell him it's a stupid bet." Bucky stared at his best friend, silently begging for him to agree.

Steve's tone could only be described as exasperated when he responded, "what is it this time?"

"I bet Barnes and Noble over here," Sam stopped talking to dodge the book Bucky threw at him, "that I could get Y/N to kiss me before he could, and he's too chicken shit to take the bet."

"It's a stupid bet!" Bucky was gearing up to throw another book when Steve chimed in. "I don't know Buck, it could get you to finally act on your feelings for her."

Bucky rolled his eyes, responding with his typical denial "I don't have any feelings, punk."

Sam and Steve shared an obvious "this man is lying" look before turning back to Bucky.

"Fine, Cap since Bucky won't take the bet, will you?" The mischievous gleam in Sam's eye shown through as Steve weighed his options.

"It is a pretty stupid bet, but I'm doing this for you Buck." Clapping Bucky on the shoulder, he turned to Sam. "I'm in." As Steve went to shake Sam's hand, Bucky gave in.

"Fine! Fine. All three of us. The first one to kiss her wins." Bucky reluctantly agreed.

"Now, what does the winner get?" Sam posed the question, mischief clear in his eyes.

-

The first time you had an inkling that something was afoot was your training with Steve and Bucky later that same day. Steve wasn't overly touchy or anything that would make you uncomfortable, this is America's Golden Boy after all, but he kept calling you "honey" or some variation of it. You'd throw a punch and rather than correcting your form in his usual commanding Captain voice, he would feed you a random compliment followed by a "try it like this hun."

You left the gym confused and with more energy than one would typically have after training with Steve Rogers. Luckily for you, Nat and Wanda noticed it too.

"What was that about?" Wanda asked as soon as the three of you were out of earshot.

"I don't have a clue." Your expression of complete confusion was enough to convince the two women you were telling the truth.

"I always thought Barnes had a thing for you. I wouldn't expect Steve of all people to try to mess that up. Especially with how obvious you are!" Nat chimed in. You've never regretted anything more than getting drunk and admitting your feelings for the brunette super soldier to the two women.

"Ugh, are the two of you ever gonna forget about that?" Your question was rhetorical as you nearly slammed the door to your room, but it didn't stop the two women from shouting "not a chance" and "only if you tell him" through the door.

-

The second time you noticed the weird behavior was the next day. You were running through some basic defense moves with some new Shield agents when Sam walked in with Bucky.

Now, normally Sam avoids you in the gym because he knows you'll kick his ass. All your time spent training with Nat mixed with your advanced perception skills meant you are a force to be reckoned with in the gym. This time though, he asked to spar before running through his typical warm up routine.

"You sure, Wilson? I wouldn't want to bruise your ego any further." You joked with him, unsure of his motives.

"Oh I'm sure, baby. Do your worst."

So you did. You had him on the mat in 4 minutes even, not letting the "baby" comment phase you until later in the night when you were with Wanda and Nat.

"First, Steve keeps calling me honey. Now Wilson is in on it with baby! What the hell is going on?'

The three of you shared identical shrugs, choosing to ignore it for now in favor of girls night.

-

Your days continued with the random comments from Sam and Steve. Of course, after the first 24 hours you noticed a pattern emerging. The two men would only use the pet names if Bucky was in the room. If Bucky couldn't overhear what was being said, everything was normal, but all bets were off if he so much as stepped in the room. It was constant affection and compliments from the two men.

You were thinking about the pattern you'd discovered, along with what it could mean, when Tony barged into the common room like a man on fire.

He surveyed the room, noting the presence of nearly every team member. The only three missing? Sam, Steve, and Bucky. You had a feeling they were most definitely up to something. "Oh perfect, most of you are here already! I have decided we don't do enough team building. Saving the world is stressful and we deserve to relax, so... drumroll please!" He waited for an extended period of time, until you, Wanda, and Vision gave him a lackluster drumroll. "That could use some work, but I'm not going to let it bring me down. We're doing karaoke! I rented out a bar for tonight, so clear your schedules ladies and gentlemen! We start at 8."

To say he was met with mixed results would be underselling the range of reactions. Nat looked ready to kill him. Thor was so excited, he reminded you of a golden retriever playing fetch. Most everybody else fell somewhere in the middle.

"Y/N, be a dear and let the three stooges know would ya? I don't know where they are and I don't feel like finding them." Tony didn't wait for a response before leaving the room just as rapidly as he entered it.

"I guess that's my cue. I'll be back and we can at least get ready together?" You looked to Nat and Wanda for confirmation before leaving to find Steve, Bucky, and Sam.

-

You checked Sam's room first because it's the closest to the common area, but there was no sign of life. Steve and Bucky's rooms sat similarly untouched. You went to the gym, the pool, the game room, and circled back to the kitchen but they were nowhere to be seen. Finally, you gave up the impromptu game of hide and seek asking FRIDAY where they were.

"FRIDAY, do you know where Steve, Bucky, and Sam are?"

"Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, and Lieutenant General Wilson are on the roof." The AI responded so fast, it had you wondering why didn't just ask her 40 minutes ago when their rooms were all empty.

"What the hell are they doing on the roof?" You huffed as you made your way back to the elevator.

"They are the discussing the terms of their bet." FRIDAY's response surprised you. You hadn't meant to actually receive an answer, but now that you did you were curious.

"What bet?" You continued the line of questioning as the elevator rose to the roof access point.

"The three made a bet to see who could get you to kiss them first."

Suddenly, all the pet names and compliments made sense.

"Son of a bi-" You cut yourself off as the elevator door opened, leading you directly to the three men in question. They turned abruptly, clearly caught off guard by anyone coming to the roof.

"Finally. I've been looking for you three everywhere!" You kept the new found information to yourself for the time being. "Tony decided we're doing karaoke tonight. We're supposed to be at the bar he rented out by 8pm." You smiled, taking in the slightly guilty expressions on each of their faces. Even if FRIDAY hadn't told you, it would be painstakingly obvious you caught them talking about you.

"Thanks doll, we'll make sure we're there." You felt the butterflies in your stomach at the pet name, but quickly shut it down. You wouldn't be giving in to their bet that easily.

"No problem, see you boys soon." You winked, pressing the button to bring you back to the main floor. You had a plan to make after all.

-

"Well, it's karaoke why don't you just sing a song to call them out on it?" Wanda suggested another idea as you all got ready to head to the bar.

"That could work. You just need the perfect song." Nat chimed in, quickly applying some mascara.

"Wanda, you're a genius, and I think I have just the one." You grinned, pulling the song up to play while you finished getting ready.

-

Upon entering the bar, you immediately started second guessing your plan. That is, until the pet names came out to play. Sam was back at it with calling you baby, and Steve right there beside him with honey.

When you put your name down to sing, Wanda and Nat were right there with you, hyping you up and providing some liquid courage. Four drinks in and you finally felt just tipsy enough to actually follow through with your plan.

With the encouraging words from Nat and Wanda playing through your mind, you walked up to the stage, pulling up your chosen song on the karaoke machine.

You decided to play the beginning of the song off as a coincidence, not wanting to clue the guys in too early.

"One, two, three have been staring at me. It's been going all night."

You made eye contact with Nat and Wanda, fully relying on the feminist in you to knock these guys down a few pegs. By the time the chorus rolled around, you were ready.

Making direct eye contact with Sam, you put as much sass as possible into the next line.

"My name isn't 'baby,' you cannot say whatever you feel like. I am not the things you call me."

Switching your target from Sam to Steve, you kept going with the performance.

"My name isn't 'honey,' I will always do whatever I feel like. Honestly, you don't know me."

Clearly the three of them realized you knew about their bet, but you were on a roll. Switching focus to Bucky, you switched up the words a little bit to put him on blast as well.

"My name isn't... doll. My name isn't... doll."

The girls must have filled in the rest of the group, because you now had Bruce, Thor, Vision, Tony, Pepper, Clint, Wanda, and Nat cheering you on. They were whopping and hollering in agreement with the lyrics.

"We ain't got the time for you messing around so cut the deal."

"Cut the deal!!" You heard Tony yelling out as an echo, shaking your head with a slight chuckle.

"So don't come here and say, 'boys will be boys.' Behind every act there's always a choice."

The three men in question at least had the decency to look ashamed of their actions. Of course, that wasn't enough for you to not put them on blast through another round of the chorus.

The high from calling them out wore off right around the line:

"Do you really think that you can get your way by playing the same game."

Singing those words made you realize exactly what just happened. You held it together, put up a front long enough to get through the last chorus. Singing the last line to Bucky, you felt like your emotions were all over your face. The annoyance that the bet existed. The pain at him being part of it. The love you'd been trying to hide. All of it felt like it was right out in the open.

"My name isn't... Doll. My name isn't, my name isn't... Doll."

You took a quick bow in thanks for all the applause, before running off the stage. You didn't stop at the table with Nat and Wanda, nor did you stop for the three men trying to apologize. You made it outside, running about five blocks before even taking in your surroundings. Noticing a McDonald's, you sent a quick prayer that the ice cream machine was actually functioning before ducking inside.

-

The team stood with mouths hanging open at your sudden departure.

"What the hell just happened?" Tony posed the question to the group, knocking them out of their stupor.

Bucky was the first to follow you outside, his panic growing when he didn't see you leaning against any of the brick walls.

"Where is she?" Steve asked, spinning in circles right alongside Bucky while the rest of the group filed out the door.

"I don't know!" Bucky turned on Steve and Sam. "I never should have agreed to that stupid bet. Dammit!" Running his hands through his hair, he took off down the street calling a quick, "I'll look this way" over his shoulder.

He moved quickly down the street, keeping his eyes peeled for your sparkly, dark red dress. He looked through the windows of the many store fronts as he passed them. About five blocks later, he was about to turn around, assuming you went a different direction when he saw the familiar golden "m". A memory from about three weeks ago was quick to flash through his mind.

The team just came back from a two and a half week mission yesterday, meaning Tony was bound to throw a party today. It went about the same as most Tony Stark parties go; a lot of schmoozing until most guests left and the team could actually let loose.

You let a little looser than normal at the after party. After the mission required you to pretend to be married to Bucky, you felt like you deserved it. It was getting harder and harder to hide your feelings from him, especially when he insisted on walking you to your room after the party.

In a last ditch effort to avoid any drunk escapades, you asked him to take you to McDonald's instead of your room.

"Please Bucky?" You asked, drawing out the words and adding a small pout for good measure. "I just want a McFlurry and some fries! Please!"

"Sure, doll. We can go to McDonald's." You jumped up and down clapping, hugging him as you praised him for being so kind.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are the nicest, most perfect man to ever live. Let's gooooo!!" He smiled at your antics, leading you to one of the many cars Tony kept stocked, not quite trusting you to ride a motorcycle at the moment.

After getting the food, the two of you ate together in the car. You, of course, insisting he try dipping the fries in the ice cream.

Reluctantly, he admitted it wasn't that bad before driving the two of you home. He dropped you off at your door, receiving a whispered "thank you" and a quick kiss to the cheek from you.

He smiled at the memory before walking inside. He found you in a booth toward the back, unsurprisingly dipping fries into your ice cream

"Y/N, I'm so sorry." You didn't even look up when he started speaking, choosing instead to study the m&ms in your dessert. "Really. It was a stupid bet. Hell, I didn't even want to do it, but then that punk and birdman teamed up against me and I couldn't let them do it without me! It would've killed me to know one of them kissed you. It was so stupid and I should've just shut it down. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much more than that." He trailed off, waiting for you to say something.

You gestured to the seat across from you, pushing some fries toward him. "It was a stupid bet."

You waited until his mouth was full before asking "Why would it have killed you?" Watching him nearly choke on his fries was oddly satisfying.

"What?" He tried to deflect the question. You shook your head, passing him a napkin.

"You said it would have killed you to know one of them kissed me. Why?" You looked him in the eye as you ate another fry.

"Well, you see, I... um, maybe have um... feelings." It was his turn to stare intently at the m&ms. He mumbled a quick "get yourself together" under his breath before continuing. "I like you. Hell, I think I love you. I don't know when it started, but suddenly you are all I can think about. I worry about you constantly when your on a mission without me, even though I know you can take care of yourself. I see little things that remind me of you everywhere. Like yesterday, I saw a buttercup on the side of the road and I couldn't stop thinking about the time you spent a good twenty minutes ranting about how spring is the worst season."

Suddenly, you were on a tangent. "Because it is! It's always raining, it's muggy, it's always freezing in the morning and way too hot in the afternoon so you have to carry all these extra layers-"

"I love you. That's why it would've killed me. I don't even want to think about you with another-"

It was your turn to cut him off, doing so by leaning across the small table to kiss him. It was quick, but you still felt fireworks.

"I love you too." Your words were sweet, but shifted when you said the rest of your sentence. "I just have one more question." The smirk on your face made him nervous, but he was more than willing to answer anything.

"What do you get for winning?"

-

After talking with Bucky, you texted Nat and Wanda to let them know you were okay and the two of you were headed back to the compound. You beat everyone else back, but decided to wait for them in the common area.

Steve and Sam came in with their heads low, struggling to make eye contact.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. We never should have made that bet." Steve started, aware of all the eyes on him.

"Me too. It was stupid and thoughtless." Sam added on.

"It was, but you are forgiven." You reached for Bucky's hand, planting a kiss on his cheek. "Bucky told me the winner of your little bet gets to pick the music for all forms of travel on the next three missions." You grinned at their confused expressions. "Bucky, being the winner, has so graciously bestowed that gift to me now. Get ready boys. I'm talking High School Musical. Hamilton. I'll have the two of you singing Taylor Swift in the shower." You, along with the rest of the team, laughed at their expense. Their grim expressions had you smiling, "oh please, I know you secretly love it!"

"Now, I have to go to bed. I have a date tomorrow." You winked at Bucky before sauntering off down the hall, the cheers of your teammates following you.

[dragongirl642]

I like your writing a lot! If I may, could I request lady d and Donna reacting to a male werewolf reader? Reader can turn into a huge wolf and they notice reader when they realise the lycans are starting to stay away from their places, and for lady d could you do something about the daughters cuddling reader in wolf form cause he so mf w a r m? Much love! Have a great day :))

Thank you anon (✿◡‿◡)

You mentioned reader turning into a huge wolf, like an actual wolf, so the werewolf rules I'm going for with this are:

You are born with all trademarks off being a normal human until you develop your wolf when you hit puberty.

Your wolf is technically a separate entity, with their own name, thoughts and opinions, and also a part of you.

Shifting during a full moon is involuntary, but you don't go feral/lose all control, shifting at any other time can be done at will.

Since you're on your own you were either kicked out of your pack or they died in war/hunters.

The village is so well hidden, from your enemies, you decide to stay there despite the local dangers.

Powers include:

ability to partially shift between wolf and human form to access specific traits, eye glow.

in wolf form - claws, iron fur/ability to harden fur (useful for tanking blows and cuts), heightened senses / strength / regeneration / speed.

In human form - heightened senses / strength / speed / regeneration, (but not to the full extent as in your wolf form).

It's quite long so the headcanons are under the cut:

Alcina dimitresu

She noticed you around because the maids reported food was going missing from the supplies.

At first she's skeptical of this huge wolf and thinks your one of Mother Miranda's new failed experiments (because you're wounded).

Will ignore you at first and probably try to shoo you out like she would an errant insect.

She complains that you smell completely unappetizing.

When she first met the human you, she had much the same reaction as in this post.

WHAT IS THIS MUTT DOING IN MY HOUSE -> IT'S A DISGUSTING MANTHING, NO!

Definitely tries to kill you, you either fight back or just run away, initiating the longest game of hide-and-seek known to man (or...wolf).

You use your hearing and smell as an early warning system against her.

When her daughters first meet you, they think you're some sort of stray experiment too.

Bela immediately wants you to be their pet, Cassandra thinks they should see what their mother thinks first, and Daniela laments that you smell so bad she can't eat you.

Reveal you're a person and they just freak out, but in a good way.

You know Alcina made sure they had the proper Dimitrescu education, so they're fascinated by your biology and ask a lot of questions about your transformation. Which leads to debate on culture, and why you're alone, and how your senses differ between wolf and human form, etc...

Her daughters love you, but especially your wolf.

Your warm and always available for cuddles.

They will just glomp, face first, into your fur when stressed.

After she stops immediately trying to kill you on sight, Alcina learns to tolerate your presence (she rationales it's only because you make her daughters so happy...like a pet)

Eventually, after a long time she will start to get used to your presence. No longer filled with the urge to kill you for being near her daughters or when she sees you in the kitchen getting a snack.

Has most definitely called you her "pet".

One of her favourite things to do is read a book by the fire, sometimes her daughters will sit and listen sometimes not. But turns out, one of your favourite things to do is to also lie by the fire in your wolf form.

At first she avoids it when you're there, but then she tells herself she won't let any manthing dictate her time.

There have been a few incidents when you've been there and she has found herself absentmindedly running her fingers through your fur. It's just so soft she can't help herself.

Once she realises she will retract her hand immediately. She denies ever doing it.

Donna Beneviento

She doesn't tend to leave her mansion often, except to tend to her plants, and she leaves the grounds of the estate even less so; which means it takes her a long while to notice that the Lycans are staying away/not invading the grounds as often.

At first she is wary of the giant wolf prowling around, who seems to be largely unaffected by the pollen from her plants.

While your wolf may be affected, your human mind isn't and can rationalize/inform your wolf what's real and what's not (and visa versa)

She's scared that she can't get you to leave, (she thinks you're a giant wolf that she can't direct away, do you blame her).

You first shift into your human form to climb in through one of the windows and look for food and medicine.

There's a wary sort of truce between you two to begin with.

You are slightly insulted when she leaves two bowls of water and food outside the door like you're a common hound.

I feel like you would have to be the first one to initiate conversation with Donna. (Not with Angie though, she's been yelling at you from day one).

Warms up to you a lot faster than Alcina.

She finds you overwhelming, brutish, and loud to begin with, but you quickly learn to be gentler/accommodate her personality.

She likes it when you lay in her lap and let her brush your hair, (especially in wolf form).

It takes a bit off convincing for her to let you do the same for her.

All the food you cook is the hearty kind, Donna hasn't eaten so well in years.

Angie has ridden on your back (and fallen off numerous times despite being able to float)...you refuse a saddle.

Donna makes you a little transforming doll of yourself/your wolf, just as she would in this post.

If you shed, she will collect all the fur and weave it together, whether to make a doll or a scarf. You're not entirely sure what you feel about this.

Donna starts coming outside a bit more when you're there.

You both have picnics on the grounds.

If you spend time indoors with Donna for any extended period of time, the Lycans get more bold and come on the grounds more. You quickly chase them out.

If you get injured chasing out the lycans, Donna will gently fuss over your wounds and bandage them up.

🐺🐺🐺

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

Hoodie HCs 2 . . . Kinda

Pairings: BNHA boys x reader

Warnings: None, not even cursing  Σ(☉_☉)

Characters: Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari

A/N: Ok, let’s have a little chat here.

I want to start out by saying I’m not mad, I’m just a little annoyed.

So this same anon sent the same request to someone else (see their post here) and the other author posted theirs around the day after I finished the prompt. If I hadn’t already written it up, I would have just deleted the ask and moved on, but I was already done so here we are. I’m not sure what went wrong where, but let me just say this: Please don’t send the same request to different authors around the same time. It’s not cool. Again, I don’t know everything about the situation, but it’s just really frustrating to both authors when you do things like this.

Also also, anon didn’t really follow my rules. 1. I don’t write for Shigaraki, and 2. I write for fem or gender neutral reader only (this is gender neutral). My rules are there for a reason, both for my benefit and yours, so please look over them before requesting. At the moment I’m only writing for eight people.

Anyway, mini rant over. I hope you guys enjoy these headcanons!

-Sugar

°˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖°

Bakugou:

Dis boi, istg

He’s such a little pain

But you love him

And he even loves tolerates you 

One evening, he was in your room, poking through your closet

You were presently in the shower, and had sent him up to your room to grab your towel you had forgotten

But let’s just say he got a little . . . sidetracked

You had so many oversized sweatshirts hanging tantalizingly from your rack

You certainly wouldn’t miss just one, would you?

After some brief inner turmoil, Katsuki pulled one down; a simple solid black

He experimentally brought it nearer to his nose, checking to see if his suspicion may be correct

Indeed, it smelled heavenly of you; your detergent, your deodorant, even down to the faintest traces of sweat and shampoo around the collar

He squeezed and balled it in his fists for a moment, debating while he absentmindedly continued his search for your towel

Soon enough, he found your fuzzy rectangular strip of cloth and, now holding two items from your closet, left your room

He made a quick stop at his own room to drop off the hoodie

Once he had cheekily made his initial delivery, he settled back into his room

He pulled your hoodie over his head, enjoying the baggy feel of it around him

Katsuki was liking this more than he cared to admit, but it didn’t matter since you wouldn’t see him with your hoodie anyway, if he had anything to say about it

Now, you did, in fact, notice the disappearance of your hoodie, and initially brushed it off

That had been the first week

Eventually, you began to cultivate your own suspicions, taking notice of how suddenly your boyfriend grew defensive (at least, more so than normal) any time you brought up the black hoodie that had formerly belonged to you

Indeed, it was time to investigate

You invited yourself over for a study session, waiting until Bakugou ducked into his en-dorm bathroom before quickly and quietly getting up

You poked around a bit, scanning for obvious hiding places

Getting back down, you peeked under the bed

Sure enough, there it was

It was then that you heard the bathroom door click and swing open and shut, then Katsuki’s footsteps froze

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” he shouted

“Looking for something,” you said offhandedly, reaching under to grab the hoodie

“Y-YOU CAN’T JUST SNOOP AROUND MY ROOM LIKE—”

You pulled the hoodie free, smirking at his guilty reaction. “Now how did this get down there?”

“I-I . . . I don’t know.” For once his voice is small; defeated

“You don’t, now?” You took note of how neatly he had folded the black cloth, undoing it in your hands and holding it up to see. “I’ve been looking for this for a while.”

For once, Bakugou is speechless. He’d been caught, and now all he could do was wait for your reaction and what you would do next

“You know, if you wanted this one, you could have asked,” you said, standing. “It’s not like I have a shortage.”

Katsuki had shoved his hands in his pockets, glowering at the floor in an attempt to avoid your gaze

“Does it still even smell like me?” you pondered, more to yourself since you weren’t expecting an answer. You pressed the collar to your nose and inhaled

You were able to detect a tiny hint of yourself still clinging stubbornly to the fabric, but mostly it was laced with him

A quick image of him sleeping in it flashed in your mind and you blushed, glancing from your boyfriend to the floor

“Well, you can give it back when you want,” you said, folding it up again and laying it on his bed. “If you ever want another one, you can tell me.”

You knew him by now. You know it would have been hard for him to have asked you for something like this. So, for the time being, you decided to go easy and drop the subject

The both of you went back to your studies, but this time, Bakugou was a little more silent and reserved than usual

The following month, you made sure to give him every opportunity you could to allow him to take another hoodie

You’d leave your closet doors open and leave the room for extended periods of time while he was in there, making up lame excuses for your absences

Whenever you came over to his room, you might ‘accidentally’ leave a little something behind for him

Sure enough, things would begin to disappear and reappear seemingly on their own. Even though you knew it was Katsuki, he was surprisingly sneaky about it

Finally one day, you visited him at his house over one of your breaks from school

He answered the door in a t-shirt you immediately recognized as your own, and your heart soared

You knew he did it on purpose, and the smirk he bore at your pleasantly surprised expression only offered further proof

BAKUGOU LOVES STEALING YOUR HOODIES AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND. ONCE HE GETS OVER THE INITIAL ‘oh crap, is this weird? Dang it, I like them’ IT’S OVER

Bonus: Every time he gives them back they still smell like him, even though he’s the type to wash them before giving them back

____________

Kirishima:

It all started one particularly cold evening

He was out in a temperature just above freezing in nothing but his regular street clothes

Baby, you hot, but like . . . that’s not enough, please keep yourself warm

N e wahys, after pestering him multiple times asking if he was at all cold, he finally admitted to having a bit of a chill

“Take my jacket.”

“But I’m being manly—”

“Take it.”

“I shouldn’t be taking it from you. Really, it’s my fault so you shouldn’t have to suffer—”

“It’s manly to take care of yourself. And also to accept gifts when you need them. You’re wearing my jacket.”

After a bit of coaxing, he finally pulls it on

*cue his universe falling into place*

He just can’t get over how warm and comfortable and soft it is, and every moment he sees it around him, he’s reminded of you

He goes from one extreme to the other, and now he doesn’t want to take it off

“So are you going to give that back to me or—?”

“Actually, can I keep it for a bit longer?”

“Sure.”

Under the initial circumstances, it makes him a little blushy

But like, this is now his everything???

It’s like you’re always there to give him a little hug, and it even smells like you. He sleeps in it every night for nearly two weeks

But then it starts to lose your scent, and his mind begins to wonder what else you might have in your closet

He goes to your room and sheepishly broaches the topic, giving back the original jacket and asking if he could have another

You smile at how flustered he is, and allow him full access to your extensive collection

Bby boi is so pumped to be able to wear your shirts and sweaters, and always tries to return the favor if he can

I headcanon that he has a pretty strong personal scent, so it’s really nice to wear his clothes, or even just re-wearing your own clothes once he gives them back

He gets extra cuddly and fluffy whenever he wears something of yours as well, so REAP YOUR BENEFITS WHERE YOU CAN

____________

Kaminari:

He’s the most open with it, honestly

Seriously, having an s/o who is taller than him makes his heart do the BIG doki doki

He thinks you’re so cute! And so much fun to hug!! Yes please, sign him up

He hadn’t really thought too much about taking your hoodies or jackets, but one night, he had taken yours from you to go hang it up. Holding it up to his, it dawned upon him that they were the same size

Next thing he knew, he was raiding your closet in secret. You’d left your room to go grab some snacks for your gaming night and Denki had decided that that was the perfect time for him to strike

He wasn’t overly concerned with getting caught, but he enjoyed entertaining the idea of you finding one of your t-shirts stolen by none other than himself

He truly had hit gold, dating someone like you. Upon opening and rooting through your closet, he discovered even more clothing articles that would certainly fit him; hoodies, jumpers, t-shirts . . . .

It was almost overwhelming, to be honest. How could he possibly pick just one?

You came back into your room a few minutes later, catching him in the act of eyeing a small pile of your own clothes

You watched him silently from your door for a minute, eyes flicking from your closet to your boyfriend, who had held up an old oversized hoodie to his chest

The dots were easily connected in your head, and you smirked

“Finding something you like?” you asked, making him jump and turn around to face you. You could almost have sworn to have seen a little crackle of electricity run down his arm from his own surprise

“(Y/N)! Yeah, um, I noticed the other day that we were the same size, so I was curious about . . . what you had . . . .”

He watches your reaction, relieved to see you smirk and walk over to him

“Try that one on,” you say, referring to the hoodie

He grins back, sliding it over his head as you watched

It was so comfortable, and warm too. You had good taste

The hoodie smelled like you and everything. Denki allowed himself to relish for a moment the feeling of something of yours softly encasing him so

Yep, there was no way he was taking it off

You let him keep it, butterflies making their flighty rounds in your belly every time you glanced over at him

He looked cute in it, and the fact that he was wearing something of yours further stirred a feeling in you that he was truly yours to love

Definitely makes a habit of taking your clothing from time to time—anything he can get his hands on is his, sometimes experimenting with your differing style from his

Very very soft, 10/10 cuddle and spoon your smol bf

°˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖° °˖✧.✧˖°

Taglist: @basicaegyo​ @iiminibattlehero​ @pyrofanatic​​ @sokkasangel​ @xoxopam4​​

[wisteria-lodge]

lion primary + burnt rapid-fire bird secondary (snake model)

Hi! I’m really enjoying your page and was wondering if you might help me to find my sorting? I can’t settle on Chill Lion Primary or Snake Primary.

I seem to be able to leave friendships really easy

Not *Badger,* maybe? Because Snake can be friends with people who aren’t Inner Circle. Depends on what level of loyalty we’re talking about here… need more data.

if the choice is a stranger in need vs. my closest friend, it would be a stranger I would feel worst for abandoning, but I probably only deeply care about my family members, and friends only to some extent and helping someone in need would make me feel as a better person than just not turning my back on a friend.

… THAT is not a Snake primary answer, I can tell you that for sure.

When I was a kid and my mom would have a fight with my stepfather, I would always side with my mom, even if I knew she was not really right. I did not want to hurt her, but now when I am older, I know how important it is to stand by what you see as right, so I try to d talk about seeing things from both sides, even though I will still stand by her side in the end, probably. There is not much I can do for the people I care about, but when I am given an opportunity to protect and fight for them, I will.

There’s something interesting going on here. Because clearly you acted in a super Snake way when you were younger (‘they might be wrong, but I’m still going to defend them’) but… you felt bad about it. And you definitely *feel* bad about it, in retrospect.

Especially with that situation you gave me right there… I would not be at all surprised if you were expected to model Snake, or even forced to model Snake when you were younger.

But I deeply believe ‘the root of all evil’ is only caring about your own. I think that is selfish and cold.

Yeah. I think you may have an unhealthy Snake influence in your life. The conflict between Loyalists and Idealists is very near the heart of this system, and they do go back and forth, with Loyalists seeing Idealists as ruthless and cruel, Idealists seeing Loyalists as… yeah, selfish and cold. The way I see it, both are beautiful and expansive and know things the other needs to learn - and both can also be warped, and unhealthy, and scary.

I think I would be a better person if I had something to believe in, if I would fight for something bigger than me. I have not found it. Or maybe I did, but there is not much I can do about it. I can not incorporate it into my life apart from personal small actions, and I want to do more

This is very much a Lion primary dream. And I just want to say that the Lion dream does not have to be huge and all-encompassing in order to be meaningful, and real, and fulfilling.

Or maybe I just want an easy and lazy life, just doing what I like and just a bit more and that’s it. Sometimes it is like that too, I believe.

And you know what, that’s kind of a Lion primary mood too :)

I wouldn’t say standing by people you most care about is morally right, but it is a damn strong force.

Still Lion. Like OF COURSE if you can stand by both your morals and your people, that’s IDEAL.

As much as I can remember, I never had anything big and idealistic to believe in, apart from not hurting others, and a lot of what I believe in now is based on that.

You *want* something big and idealistic to believe in, to be happy and fulfilled. That’s still Lion, even if no Cause has clicked with you yet. (I suspect you’re a little burned, which can’t be helping.)

So I was always really harsh to people who I thought were selfish.

Again with this negative Snake influence.

I thought I was a Lion Secondary, but more and more I keep noticing how much I am using honesty as a tool.

Hmmm. Could be a Snake secondary tactic, but Birds do like their tools….

Sure, being yourself is the easiest thing in the world

… everyone does not feel this way. You’ve got strong Lion in your sorting somewhere.

but it also allows you to be seen as readable and trustworthy in your words. I know how much I can shift words or tone just a bit. Sometimes it feels like I am watching from inside, going “oh, you’re doing this now?”

That’s interesting. The way you’re describing thing - the slight arm’s length, knowing the mask is a mask, but also not planning the mask - is making me think more Snake. Although Actor Bird *is* possible.

I am very emotional, and I find it hard to distinguish my morality and moral choices from just general things I do and want.

… so you’re a Lion primary.

So the only other primary on my list could be Lion, which I find hard to understand. How can things turn from some tug of the heart to a full-fleshed ideal? My belief – trying not to hurt people and all that is related to it, in my mind, still comes from a grounded reality, from the fact that it hurts me to see someone being hurt. It’s not because it was idealistically formed somewhere. I think I probably don’t understand this correctly.

Lion primaries aren’t jedi. Their ideals don’t get magically beamed into their heads from some outside force. Lions reason just the same as Birds, they just use a different part of their psyche to do it. The fact that your morality (at its core, at its base) comes from the way things make you feel… that is what makes you a Lion. Birds don’t process things that way.

Maybe this sounds a bit like a Badger Primary, but there is no place for a group in my morality, in my life. Neighbors? Pffft, just let us live in peace and leave us alone. Groups are unpleasant usually. Maybe if you could choose people you like and click with them. Of course, acceptance is important, but it will never be the basis of anything. Have I never had an important group in my life? Maybe, but that would either mean I have been burned for a long time or I am just not a Badger Primary.

You’re not a Badger primary. And while it’s not a universal thing, I would say that Lion primaries tend to be the *most* comfortable with being loners, or spending extending periods of time as loners.

Of course, I use my brain and prioritize in the moment and use logic. I am not a sweet and nice badger girl, although I will be nice and smile and act my part, and sometimes you do hurt someone by telling the truth or putting yourself first, because I also don’t want to hurt myself if I have a different choice.

This is all starting to sound very snake secondary. The practicality, and twisting, and changing in the moment. Although maybe there’s a Badger performance in there?

Even if I can’t feel what others are feeling, I have something informing me about what they might be feeling. Do I care about not hurting my neighbor? It’s more like I care about not hurting myself by getting into a bad situation with them, being shouted at or having other kinds of problems with them, but that’s still some kind of motivation

Move around the problem, be like water.

Honesty is an idealistic value, and I like it, but I think it probably just makes my life easier, easier to read people and be read.

Snake secondary.

I think I also strongly believe in persons’ right to be and express who they are, that’s why I grew up hating gender stereotypes and not really playing into social rituals. I just want to be seen and liked for who I am.

Lion primary.

My Secondary? It probably burned to ashes. Thinking about how I am doing stuff, improv vs build, it just gives me a headache. Improvisation gives me stress, it gives me hell, but it’s the easiest way.

I mean, all the stuff you’ve been talking about - reading people, putting on the right face, changing direction - absolutely counts as improvisational.

Planning, preparing? Lovely, usually -  access denied. I just go head first just because I don’t know any other way and have no interest or energy to search for it. I am easily bored, so even if I wanted to work, prepare, research, I would lose interest so fast that there would be no use in even trying.

I don’t think you’re a Badger secondary - but it’s just hard to tell because you are so down on your secondary in general. You’re telling me that prepping in theory is lovely but you don’t know how to do it? (not that you don’t LIKE it. That you CAN’T do it.)

I always thought I would finally find something I wanted to work on, something I would enjoy putting time and energy into, but that does not seem to come true.

That’s some more of the angst of your charred/unfulfilled Lion primary coming though.

I am disappointed in myself. You know, it would be very nice if I could be witty and smart and improvise in the moment, but I’m not,

So you *like* Snake secondaries at least.

so I just gave up some time ago and now usually go straight with my head first. At least I’m getting the experience I would never get any other way.

Your secondary is burnt, for sure. But just reading between the lines here… I think you’re much smarter and more capable than you give yourself credit for.

I think if I were to be a Lion Secondary and constantly do this, I wouldn’t feel the heaviness over my secondary.

That’s another big sign of a burnt secondary. Doing things isn’t fun, it’s heavy, it’s a chore, it’s a slog.

Okay, let’s talk about recipes and cooking. I will follow the recipe, at least until I get what is going on, which flavor does what, why is this and not that. Then I can ditch it. I can add whatever I want later on. If I know which parts are the most important, I might not even need the recipe.

… okay, so this suddenly sounds a LOT like a Rapid-Fire Bird

Imagine a world where they give you a recipe for an apple pie and say make a pie. You follow it, your pie looks fine. Then, when they taste it, they tell you, Oh, you didn’t know, you needed to use sour apples. You didn’t figure that out on your own? No, dagnabit, I was concentrating on making an apple pie for the first time in my life. I had no experience of this thing. I didn’t know what it would be. Then they tell you, Oh, maybe you needed to use coconut sugar or something else, or maybe should have figured out yourself that it’s too sweet or that you hate cinnamon, or maybe your oven is not working properly, so you need to deal with that. Yeah, that’s how I feel about life and its problems and people.

Oh that’s interesting. Because what *this* bit is sounding like… is the angst of a Built secondary dealing with a lot of Improvisational secondaries. I’m think you’re a Bird… with a lot of Snakes and Lions in your life.

Every chance I get, I try to tell people these little small things that you somehow supposedly had to figure out on your own. You need to crack the system first to know how you can break it the best way to achieve your goals. Life, problems, people are systems I will never be able to crack. There is nothing to grab onto, so that’s why freefalling headfirst is the best and the easiest option.

OH. Burnt bird secondary. Snake model.

Btw, I am reading other submissions while writing this, to not go completely out of the path and get any ideas that would be valuable. I do like to have a net behind me to catch me if I fall, ha.

And another little detail that sounds very Birdy.

So I’m reading you as a Lion primary with a Rapid-fire Bird secondary. Your primary is burned a little, and your secondary is burned a lot. And a big part of the reason for that is that you’ve got people around you expecting you to use a Snake model all the time, and you *do* have one, you do. But it feels heavy to you right now. You don’t hate it, but you’d rather use Rapid-Fire or maybe Actor Bird. And that might be feeding into the general Anti-Snake sentiment I’m seeing here.

[dr-imagines-modfuyuhiko]

Main Games’ Protags + Love Interests

Cuddle HCs

Cute concept cause I’m touch deprived... fuck covid :)

Category: Fluff HCs (with a little angst at Chiaki and Kaede’s parts)

Specifics: Gender of reader not mentioned, Ultimate not mentioned, mentions periods throughout the timeline

Warnings: none

And yes I’m putting Shuichi after Kaede, he is the original love interest in V3

Makoto

Soft babey

He’s definitely the small spoon most of the time, even if you’re shorter than him

He’s slightly insecure that you’re the one holding him instead of the other way around

But you always reassure him it’s cute to see him pull your arms tighter around him

To which he becomes a blushy mess

Other times he’ll lay his body over yours in a protective manner, shielding you from any harm that may come your way

Also because he loves snuggling into your chest but he won’t ever admit that out loud

Play with his hair

Just please

It’s the fluffiest thing in the world, even when he cuts it shorter

It also just relaxes him

Say he’s gotten worked up or stressed due to a class trial or something at the Future Foundation

He’s automatically going to you for you to hold him and pet his hair

It’s become almost an instinct for him to look for you

There was one time after a class trial that you almost got voted out but he was able to prove your innocence

He didn’t let go of you for the rest of the night, he insisted you stay in his room

Though he didn’t tell you why exactly he was so skiddish, you figured no one would target you just for that, he just didn’t want to lose you

So that night the roles were reversed, he was the one holding you to his chest and hugging you like a teddy bear

Mention how adorable he was being and he’ll be hiding his face in his hands

He’s not against cuddling in front of people

He actually loves that he can show you off in more subtle ways like holding your hand or keeping you at his side while walking

Overall, he just wants to keep you close as much as possible without overstepping boundaries

—————

Kyoko

Cuddling whom???

When you first ask her to cuddle with you she is just confused

You can bet she hasn’t had anyone cuddle her since she was 5

So the first time you two cuddled, she was rather stiff, it took her a few more tries at it before she was able to fully relax

She’s almost always on guard, so you guys only really have full on cuddle sessions when she’s 100% sure nothing is gonna come to hurt you

She’s a big spoon

Don’t ask me why, she just gives me that energy

She wants to keep you safe, and what better way than to just hold you close

She doesn’t exactly have a favorite position, but if she had to choose, she’d probably say when she’s sitting up and you’re leaning against her chest from the front

It lets her get paperwork done while being close to you, so a win-win

The first time you ask to hold her hands she’s a little puzzled

You want to hold her hand??? Like without the gloves on???

Don’t people usually get uncomfortable with that kinda stuff???

You reassure her you don’t care, that you just want to hold her hand

She’ll let you do whatever you’d like so long as you’re comfortable with it

In public, it’s less she doesn’t want to hold you close, more she’s just concerned someone will make the connection and target you

But if you’re around people who wouldn’t do such a thing, (mainly Makoto and Aoi) she’ll be happy to keep an arm around you

When you were walking the halls in the killing game and you two were alone, she’d take her glove off so you could hold her hand

She knows you feel safer when you do

I do have a personal headcannon that she can barely feel anything in her hands and upper wrist, so she won’t even notice when you squeeze her hand most times

But once she sees you do it, she’ll subtly squeeze your hand back as a silent way to calm you down or say everything will be okay

Oh and remember when she kept her door open overnight when Alter Ego was found?

Yeah you didn’t get any cuddles and could barely sleep because you had grown so accustomed to it

But you knew she kept you away so you wouldn’t get hurt, knowing she could defend herself easily if need be

Nothing changes much once you two are in the outside world, in fact the only thing that changes is that she becomes more comfortable holding you close in dangerous situations to keep you safe

—————

Hajime

Asshole babey needs his cuddles

Like Kyoko, he was a bit stiff when you two had your first full-on cuddle session 

He just had no idea where to put his hands, or how to hold his arms, are his legs supposed to go around or under yours, is his breathing pattern bothering you???

Because of this, you tend to be the initiator and more dominant one while cuddling him

He tries to be big spoon but your hair gets in his face and he much prefers seeing your face to know if he’s doing a good job or not 

So your main cuddling positions are you laying on his chest and facing each other while holding hands

Forehead kisses for days

He loves showing affection just doesn’t know how most of the time, so forehead kisses when cuddling is his main way of communicating he loves you

When around others, the idea of cuddling doesn’t even enter his mind, he just won’t think of it

This causes you to be the first to initiate it in the beginning

When you first started going out, he would jump and sometimes scream from being startled if you tried to hold his hand or hug him in front of everyone

After a few months he just grew a 6th sense- he just knew when you were about to grab onto him

In public, he’ll hold your hand so tight it’s as if he thinks it’s the last time he’ll ever be able to do so

But he doesn’t actually realize he’s doing that until you point it out

Don’t touch him when he’s stressed, he will freak out (the funhouse was absolute hell for you)

However, when Hajime is tired he’s hunting you down, he’s getting cuddles and you’re not stopping him no matter where you are

You’re in bed? He’ll flop onto your chest and bury his head there

You’re talking with friends? He’s gonna hug your waist and lean his head on your head/shoulder/back (depending on your height)

You’re reading at your desk? He leans down over you to get a kiss then hugs your neck until you’re done and can cuddle him properly

Once Izuru and Hajime merge, he’ll still go to you when he’s tired and won’t complain when you hold onto him, but he won’t initiate anything otherwise

—————

Chiaki

Sleepy gamer girl!!

You two were definitely cuddling even before you got together, she’d just lean her head on your shoulder while playing games then fall asleep

Sometimes she’ll fall asleep in the middle of a game when cuddling you, so you’ll just take her game and play it yourself

You never do as well as her obviously

When you guys do start dating, the cuddling will only increase

She’ll sit in your lap, lean into your chest, honestly she’ll be all over you

Her favorite cuddle position is one of two things depending on if she’s playing a game or not

If she is, she prefers to lean into your chest from the front between your legs while you wrap your arms around her waist

If she isn’t, she loves laying stomach down on your chest as you run your hands through her hair, it gives her a relaxed feeling as well as easier access to sleepily kiss you

At night (or really any time you lay together) she’ll fall asleep on you and you’ll just stay awake for a while petting her hair

Once she wakes up, she’ll look up and smile, kissing you softly as a greeting rather than speaking

If she falls asleep while standing up and you go to give her something to lean on, her body will let her give into you as you guide her to a soft surface to rest on

She honestly doesn’t care about PDA, if either of you want cuddles, you’ll get cuddles

She just doesn’t give two shits if anyone judges

Legit, if someone says something, she’ll ignore them either 1.) to piss them off or 2.) she just didn’t hear them

If she’s feeling frustrated, she might snap at them before turning back to you and snuggling you further

When she dies and you become a remnant with the rest of your class, you’ll keep yourself away from everyone physically to extend your need and want for her touch again

You’ll even stay away from Junko when she attempts to speak with you about your lost girlfriend, much to her despaired delight

Junko definitely keeps you close to her due to how close you were with Chiaki

Once Junko dies, Izuru is the one to keep you close, often questioning you about Chiaki- which only brings you more despair so you answer him with detail

After she dies in the neo-world program, Hajime will often visit your cottage and hold you when you begin to yearn for her cuddles again

Even after you all get out of the NWP, he’ll continue to do this for you, as he understands and misses Chiaki almost as much as you do

—————

Kaede

What can I say, she will tackle you for cuddles

If she wants to cuddle you, it’s happening, there’s no stopping it (unless you tell her you’re uncomfortable, that’s the only way it’s not happening)

Praises you while she holds you, just all the time

If you praise her back however, she’ll turn into a blushy mess, burying her face in your shoulder or arm

Her favorite cuddle position is probably when one of you holds the other to your chest and pet their hair

It doesn’t matter who’s in which spot though

She also loves when you sit next to her when she’s playing the piano and just lean on her shoulder while closing your eyes and relaxing

Or when you come up from behind her while she’s playing and rest your chin on her head with your arms around her

She just has so many cuddle positions she loves it’s hard for her to choose which is best

If you’re around others, she’ll just hold your hand or link pinkies

She doesn’t want to make you embarrassed in front of other people, even if you assure her you won’t be embarrassed, she’s gonna hold off until you’re alone or with fewer people

There are definitely times where you two will be walking around the school and hear someone coming so you back away from each other for a minute

Though if you see that it’s just Shuichi, you’ll casually just make your way back to each other

Shuichi finds it kinda cute and would want to do that if he got an s/o

Shuichi sometimes feels like a third wheel but you guys will just pull him into a hug, tell him he’s not, and continue on your way

Sometimes you three will form a chain (with Kaede in the middle) and either Shuichi or you calmly leads Kaede to where you need to go, or Kaede will pull all of you excitedly along

Usually she pulls you guys to her lab to play piano for you

When Sexy Avacado Rantaro is killed, she keeps you closer to her than usual

You figure it’s just because she’s scared or wants to protect you, so you don’t think much of it

But once you find out what actually happened, you feel almost stupid for not realizing it

How had you not noticed your girlfriend not being there for a few minutes after the alarm went off???

You two had been so close both emotionally and physically, how did you not notice her hand leaving yours???

Your silent breakdown was interrupted by her embrace, you couldn’t help but lean into it more than you ever had

But just before you could give her your final goodbye, a chain snapped around her neck and pulled her from your grip

Throughout the entire execution, Shuichi was the one to hold your hand and lead you back to your room afterwards

Once there, he reminded you of Kaede’s last words: to stay strong, find the mastermind, and get the hell out of there

From that point forward, you and Shuichi almost never separated

You had to protect her best friend

He had to protect her s/o

But of course, there were times you’d go to Kaede’s lab just to play a short song she taught you

And this time, Shuichi was the one to sit next to you and lean on your shoulder

Kaede in DR heaven is proud of y’all

—————

Shuichi

Shy baby boi

You’re definitely gonna have to ease him into cuddling as opposed to just jumping on him

The most “physical affection” he’s gotten before the game was a girl clinging to him after he solved her case

He was so uncomfortable

So be sure to take it slow for his sake, just please, he wants to be a good boyfriend and cuddle you but at first he doesn’t know if he’ll enjoy it

Once he’s more comfortable with you, he’ll attempt to initiate it more- only in private though

Like Kyoko and Hajime, he’s stiff at first, the reason being a combination of the two

He’s both inexperienced and doesn’t know how to relax fully, so it’ll often end up with you holding him

I wanna say big spoon considering I’ve said all the boys were small spoon, but come on... baby boy is small spoon

He tried being big spoon but he wasn’t super comfortable, his arm was numb and he moves around too much to stay still and hold you for a while

So instead, he’ll often have his head on your shoulder and bury it in your neck while his arm lays across your stomach

Loves when you have your head on top of his and you give his head kisses

Won’t ever tell you vocally though

In front of others he won’t do anything unless one of two things happens

1.) you start it- whether that be grabbing his hand or putting his arm around you or leaning on him, anything

2.) if he’s fed up with Kokichi’s (or sometimes Kaito’s when they first met) bullshit about saying he’s too shy to start anything about him not being a man enough to woo you

His face is burning when he’s the first one to wrap around you no matter what though

After a while, he becomes a bit of a cuddle bug

He still won’t start anything in public but he will silently ask you to hold his hand or hug his waist

After Kaede’s execution, the two of you would be on his bed nearly every night, his head either in your lap while you were sitting up or on your chest when you laid down

Give him head pets, it comforts him, just please

After training nights with Kaito, Shuichi would come back to you all sweaty and looking for cuddles to soothe his muscles

With how tired he always was, it was rather adorable

And yes, yes Maki is making fun of you two while Kaito usually gives Shuichi a look like “go get em”

Kaede in DR heaven is once again, so proud of you two when you escape

[silentauroriamthereal]

hi! this is about the metabolic health post. hacking my metabolism is just what I'm trying to do. I'm a biology student so I have some notions about how the human body works but I would be very interested in learning more about it. are there any authors or books/publications you could recommend? it doesn't have to be just English, I also speak Spanish, German and French and as a live in Spain it might be useful to read European authors whose work is based on our local food culture. american authors are fine too though! the basics should be the same anyways. thanks!

Hey! So actually, the doctor whose methodology I follow is a Chinese Canadian, if that works for you! He’s a nephrologist who sort of accidentally became an expert in obesity and type 2 diabetes, since they so often go with kidney disease. His name is Jason Fung and he’s based in Toronto. He has several books now, but the first and best place to start is The Obesity Code. Basically he started by asking a question that the medical community didn’t have an answer for: why anyone would treat type 2 diabetes, wherein the body has become resistant to the effects of insulin, by prescribing more insulin and making the resistance problem progressively worse and worse. Insulin’s job is to take eaten energy (aka food) and convert it into blood glucose. If there’s already too much glucose in the blood cells, or the insulin has lost its effectiveness because there’s already too much of it, it won’t be able to perform the conversion and will be forced to store the food as fat (aka long-term energy storage rather than immediate-use energy) instead. So then type 2 diabetics typically already have a massive insulin resistance problem which has almost always already led to obesity and all of the related health problems/co-morbidities (hypertension, PCOS, heart disease, sleep apnea, asthma, plus all the other things like sore joints and generally lower body function, etc). To “treat” this by giving them MORE insulin and making all of these problems worse, is... not a great solution. Type 2 diabetics get told that their condition is progressive and irreversible. Dr. Fung basically said, “but what if we don’t treat an excess of insulin with more insulin?” and people scoffed at that completely. Metabolic problems aren’t a result of “calorie” imbalance, which is a meaningless way of measuring food and its effects on a body - metabolic problems are the result of hormone imbalance. 

When insulin is too high, it produces more of a hormone called ghrelin, which produces the sensation of hunger. Note that ghrelin can make you feel hungry regardless of how empty or full you are. It’s a signal that says “feed me”, whether or not you need to be fed. It’s that gnawing, irritating sensation of your stomach complaining about how it hasn’t been fed in 12 years, like a petulant cat. High insulin also suppresses a hormone called leptin, which regulates how satisfied or full we feel after eating. So in summation, if your insulin is too high, you’re: 1) not getting the ready energy you need, because your eaten energy is being stored as fat instead of glucose, 2) you’re hungry all the time, and 3) you’re not feeling satisfied when you do eat. It’s a lose-lose situation. A person with insulin resistance has low energy, so doing anything takes a lot more work than it would for another person. It’s easy for another person to say “just go for a walk!” or “I always feel so much more energized when I work out!”, without having any clue that it simply takes a LOT more energy for a person who is insulin resistant to do anything in the first place. Going through life in this condition costs a person more energy, period. AND then you can add the stigma of being overweight, the added cost of buying larger clothes, the fact that refined carbs are cheaper and poorer in nutrition in the first place (there’s a reason why poverty and obesity are STRONGLY linked!), that sugars (which includes anything that metabolizes as a sugar, aka all carbs, refined and unrefined) are an addictive substance (a 2019 study posited that sugar is actually more addictive than cocaine and heroin), etc etc. It’s REALLY hard to get out of the trap. 

But it’s possible, and Dr. Fung’s entire strategy is to control metabolic problems through how you eat, aka by eating fewer foods than produce a high insulin response. It seems almost too simple to work. It was my own GP who put me onto his work, back in late 2017. He said then that five years earlier, the medical community thought that Jason Fung was a nut for thinking you could control diabetes through diet alone (aka food, not “being on a diet”, which I reject wholesale), but five years later, he had all the clinical evidence, having reversed diabetes and obesity and all the assorted, related issues, in thousands of people. My GP had just come back from a conference on obesity and type 2 diabetes where Jason Fung had been the keynote speaker. I’m the sort of person who needs to know why something works, not just that it does, and my doctor knows that, so he suggested I read The Obesity Code and see if it resonated with me, and it did. Dr. Fung is also big into fasting, both intermittent and extended, and talks a lot about that, too. It’s the other, big prong in terms of allowing insulin levels to die down and eventually reprogram the hypothalamus, which is what regulates how much insulin is being produced in the first place, to reset itself. It’s hugely effective. I used to be one of the moderators for Jason’s facebook group and I’ve seen literally thousands of people’s journeys over the past three years now, obviously not from an up-close medical perspective, but yeah - it works. I get a full blood panel done every so often and I can easily say that I’m in better health now that I’ve been in since literal childhood, because I managed to fix my hormone imbalance. Dr. Fung also has heaps of youtube videos and such, which I’m just mentioning for anyone reading this who might not be a biology student and want something shorter/more accessible, but I will say that his writing is very accessible to the general public. You don’t need a medical degree to get what he’s talking about, at all! 

This is super long, but hit me up if you have more questions about any of it! (That goes for anyone reading this!)

[atinytokki]

Paradise

v. Haneul’s Relapse 

“That’s quite a good pearl. If you want, I can help you wash it.”

San glanced up from the pearl he was rubbing and followed the teenage girl to the shallows, where she hiked up her skirts and bent low, skilfully cleaning off the little treasure without losing her grip on it.

Afraid it would wash away in the waves, San bit his lip and shuffled nervously the entire time. When the girl handed it back, he clutched it to his chest and thanked her shyly.

“Do you think... do you think you could make a necklace with it?”

The girl glanced at her sister and giggled, likely assuming San had a sweetheart to woo. “Of course.”

“It’s for my half-sister Haneul,” he explained quickly as he followed the three up the hill towards their house. “She’s sickly and sometimes she’s not well enough to come down to the beach, so...”

The girls suddenly stopped in their tracks, the younger one facing San with a curious expression on her face. “Do you live in the blue house over there?” She asked, pointing over the sand dunes to where his grandparents’ place was.

San nodded hesitantly and watched the sisters glance at each other again before explaining, “Your sister is one of our dad’s patients.”

It dawned on San the longer they stared at him. “You’re Dr. Hong’s children?”

The pair smiled at him and the oldest extended her hand. “I’m Eunkyung, this is my sister Eunae and our little brother is Inho.”

“Choi San,” he responded simply, shaking the offered hand. “We’re also neighbours then?”

“That’s right,” Eunae confirmed as she bent down to let little Inho climb on her back to be carried up to their house. “We always wanted to visit the blue cottage. It looks so cute and homely over there.”

“You should come by to deliver the necklace when we’re done with it,” San offered, feeling awfully proud of himself to have done such a grown-up thing as invite guests. “It’s also a carpentry shop. We have lots of lovely things to look at.”

After all, they were teenage girls and teenage girls liked looking at pretty things.

The doctor wasn’t in at the moment, presumably out on a visit with patients, so the three of them set up shop in the kitchen while Inho played with his toys on the floor.

San mostly just sat and watched the girls pick out shells and beads and string them together, setting the shining pearl in the middle of the necklace as a centrepiece.

When it was finished, they walked over to deliver it as the sun began to set, and more excited at the prospect of introducing Haneul to new friends than that of giving her the necklace, San raced through the shop to enter the house and inform her she had visitors.

A voice called out to him as he barrelled past the woodworking bench. “San! Where have you been?”

Halted in his tracks, San spun around, surprised, and blushed when he caught sight of the clock. He was supposed to be working, not playing.

“I met some friends on the beach and they wanted to see Haneul, so I thought—”

“I need you here, San,” Grandfather scolded, standing and brushing off his hands. “Go on, tell Haneul she has visitors, but I expect you back here as soon as you’ve let her know.”

Deflating, San apologised respectfully and trudged upstairs.

It was torture for him to sit there hammering boards together while he listened to Haneul come out of her shell, fast befriending the girls and talking more than he’d heard her talk in weeks.

When their guests departed to eat dinner in their own home, San selfishly wished they had a brother his age. Eunkyung and Eunae were nice but they were older and closer with Haneul than him as it was. And little Inho was fun to play with for awhile, but like most five year olds, he asked an insufferable amount of questions.

As San took a bite of his chicken, he distantly wondered if he was like that as a five year old.

“I’ve taken the liberty of inviting the Hong children to a picnic tomorrow,” Grandmother announced as she cleared away the empty dishes. “I can see you’ve taken to them, and I’m sure you children will enjoy a playdate before classes start up again.”

She gave Haneul a knowing wink and shuffled away to the kitchen. As usual, she knew everything.

Making steady friends was difficult with the coming and going of families for the winter holidays. As school sessions neared, fewer and fewer visitors arrived and Namhae began to go back to being a small fishing town instead of an island getaway.

Which meant the Hong children were more or less the only option for lasting friendship in the off season.

They all knew this, so they set up lunch on the beach with a smile the next day and chatted about anything and everything they could think of, determined to get to know each other better.

Inho was fascinated by San and had good fun playing pirates with him, using specially made wooden swords fashioned by Grandfather in a moment of indulgence.

Eventually they tired of the play and joined the girls for food. There was no opportunity to insert themselves in the conversation, so they simply ate in silence, enjoying the bird calls and flashes of sunlight from behind clouds.

“I’m going swimming!” Inho announced when he had finished his food, throwing off his shirt and facing the ocean.

“You should wait awhile so you don’t have a cramp,” San warned, throwing an arm over his eyes and laying back as the sun blazed out again. “And besides, the water’s a bit cold still.”

“I’ll be fine!” Inho yelled back, his voice more distant than it was before. San sat up and noticed the boy’s towel sitting beside him.

“You forgot your towel—”

“I can do it myself!” Inho insisted, returning to snatch up the cloth and going back over to the shallows, dropping it just out of range of the tides and entering the water.

San didn’t remember being that stubborn as a five year old, but he didn’t want to interfere. Clearly Inho liked doing things for himself.

“Will he be alright?” San asked Eunkyung, trying to keep his tone casual. She didn’t look at him but swatted a hand. “He knows how to swim, he’s fine.”

The girls resumed their conversation— something about a drawing they’d seen in a book somewhere— and San resumed his sunbathing.

A patch of clouds covered the sun again and he was so peaceful and full of good food that he drifted off into a daydream, cresting the waves in search of something. The wind took him faster and faster away from his island and he wondered where he was headed, until a faint noise jolted him into opening his eyes.

“Where’s Inho?” Eunae was saying, voice tight and nervous.

San sat up and swept his eyes over the shallows. He couldn’t see the boy anywhere.

A noise got caught in Eunkyung’s throat as San stood to get a better view.

He couldn’t have just disappeared, maybe he was snorkelling under the water, maybe he’d appear in a moment and laugh at their horrified faces.

“There!” Haneul shrieked, standing with support and pointing out into the ocean , almost all the way past where the farthest docks reached. “He’s caught in a rip current!”

The moment he saw him, San ran.

He sprinted harder than he ever had before and struggled against the resistance of the waves before swimming to where the boy was being dragged out to sea.

San felt the pull of the current himself when the sandbar under his feet gave way, and he relaxed and let it pull him to where Inho was struggling to get back to shore.

The boy was tiring, exhausted gasps leaving his chest as he periodically slipped beneath the waves, too worn out to tread water much longer. At the sight of San he choked out a whimper, scared pleas to save him being washed away with the surf.

“Hold on to me!” San instructed, easily lifting the boy in the buoyancy of the water but struggling to bring him back to shore himself.

In rushing out here to save him, San might have just put himself in danger as well.

The specks that were the girls on the beach grew smaller and smaller, and San’s whole body was wearied from holding the blubbering Inho above the water as he tried to pull them back. Swimming against the current wasn’t working, he had to think of another way.

Noticing the docks protruding from the town as they drifted far enough out to see them, San decided to head for the jetty nearest them, moving parallel to the shore and breaking out of the pull of the current.

Suddenly the ripping force was gone, and San’s sore muscles could give out, the sand meeting his feet as he finally waded ashore, Inho shaking and sobbing in his arms.

The girls had watched from the beach and ran to meet them, Eunae hurrying home to fetch their father and Eunkyung scooping up the traumatised Inho, drying him off and shushing him calmly.

Haneul moved forward and embraced San, and he melted into her arms with relief that he’d managed to save both of them and that Haneul had let down her walls and given him access again.

“I was so scared for you,” she admitted, a few nervous tears slipping out before she could hide them. “You’re a much stronger swimmer than I realised.”

As his breathing returned to normal, San glanced out at the ocean again. The weather hadn’t changed, it was as sunny and mild a late winter day as it had been before. The water sparkled a dazzling cerulean and promised only fun and refreshment, not death and terror. But those very same waves had nearly dragged him and Inho to their deaths and on his return to the picnic blanket, he realised the ocean was more dangerous than he thought.

All the more enticing to explore.

Dr. Hong arrived to check the boys over quickly and decided to take all three of his children home after the excitement they’d had, profusely thankful to San for his quick reaction and teasing that he wouldn’t mind keeping him around.

He wasn’t joking when he called him Inho’s official bodyguard.

For the entirety of the spring, San found himself coming to the rescue time and time again.

Inho trailed after him wherever he went, and San protected him from everything from bee hives and ant hills to thunderstorms and broken tree branches.

Most of the time it just entailed getting him back home to be bandaged up, and San was thankful such an accident prone boy had a doctor for his father.

On one such rainy afternoon in the summer, San was bringing Inho home after saving him from falling out the back of a carriage in town to have his sprained ankle looked at. Namhae was busy with droves of vacationers and none of them were good carriage drivers.

Dr. Hong was already with a client, and to his surprise, San realised it was Grandfather.

He was seated and his hands covered his face, bent over in some type of begging position, and the sight of him made San’s stomach churn.

There was no doubt it had something to do with Haneul.

She had been cooped up in her attic room the past week or so, but San had blamed it on the rain. Haneul was healthy enough to play with Eunkyung and Eunae after all, even if they talked more than they played.

Putting himself out of his misery, San pushed open the door and escorted limping Inho to his father.

“Oh dear, what happened!” The doctor cried, making a fuss for Inho’s sake but clearly unfazed by the appearance of a new injury.

Inho went on to explain and San greeted Grandfather, taking a seat next to him and inhaling that familiar musk of sawdust and tea.

“I’m sure you didn’t expect to see me here!” Grandfather chucked, having composed himself frighteningly quickly and forced on a smile. San knew the difference between that smile and Grandfather’s real one.

“Not really!” He chirped in response, kicking his legs as they hung from the chair. It was always awkward between them outside of the workshop, when neither knew what to talk about.

“You know, I’ve decided to extend an invitation to your father to come stay with us for awhile around your birthday,” Grandfather informed him, the real smile flashing when he saw San’s eyes light up at the prospect.

“Can I come to your birthday party too?” Inho asked from where his father was elevating his leg. “When is it, anyway?”

“Next month,” San explained, keeping a keen eye on the doctor’s activities.

“How many tomorrows is that from now?” Inho muttered, confused, and the rest of the room had a good laugh at his innocence, one that was not appreciated by the five year old.

True to his word, Grandfather mailed a letter to Father just as he’d done many times before, this time with a special offer enclosed. When Father arrived, he brought gifts with him— not just for San, but plenty for Haneul, too.

They’d missed out on seeing him for almost a full year, and there was everything to catch up on, especially with regards to current events.

The constant clanging and shouting from the garrison construction zone was a brand new sight for Father, and he spent a great deal of time frowning at it during San’s birthday party.

They all settled in for another rainy evening and Father administered Haneul’s medicine, a very familiar sight, while San wrinkled his nose from where he sat by the window.

He admired her for being able to stomach it every day, but he was ten now so he didn’t complain about such things.

Even on his birthday with Father showing more attention to his half sister than to him, San didn’t pay it any mind and continued to play until he was shooed out of the room.

“Off to bed, birthday boy,” Father hummed gently, nudging him away from the window. “The beach will still be there tomorrow.”

San stayed awake in his bed for as long as he could, paying attention to the amount of time Father spent speaking with Haneul before the telltale sounds of him moving back into his own creaked throughout the attic.

There was something serious going on with her, and San had a sneaking suspicion her health was the real reason Father was paying such a long visit, not his tenth birthday.

By the next morning, he knew he was right. Haneul had relapsed considerably and San was once again sent off to go play outside.

Only this time he had more than a few trees to mess around in, he had an entire ocean ahead of him.

...

A/N: It’s been way too long since I updated this one, but finally I got around to it! Hope it was worth the wait, and keep on the lookout for various other updates from me as I get on a summer schedule ;) Don’t forget to reblog and comment and have a good day!

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