#i was all ready to post this then i remembered i needed a FREAKING TITLE

[captianprices40thson]

Can you make a story for October, a male reader x soap. Where before the reader joined the 141 he was in a different military unit and one evening he got captured by the enemy and was murdered by dismemberment but some mad scientist there put him back together using the dismembered pieces. He came back by being hit by lighting. So now he kind of looks like frankenstein. he doesn't have all the bolts or dead skin, but he has one sliver gray eye. the other one is a light yellow, and he also has stitches on his face and his body. When he was finally rescued and back with his team, some were afraid of him and some belittled him. So he wears full body gear now so no one can fully see him. After joining the 141 he gets hurt really really REALLY badly and a some of his stitches rip, he tries to brush it off like it's nothing but soap refuses to believe him, so he kinda forcefully pulls male readers gear off and sees him body for the first time.

I'LL LEAVE THE REACTIONS OF SOAP TO YOU. Also can you do the reactions of the 141 too. Like maybe there in the room too when soap takes the gear off...

If you're not comfy with the dismemberment, you can just have it implied.

Happy early halloween, if you celebrate it🎃🎃🎃💖💖💖🙃🙃🙃

They took the credit for your second symphony, rewritten by machine and new technology.

Pairing: John ‘Soap’ MacTavish x Male Reader

Requested: Yes

Word count: 5.4k

Pronouns used: You/Yourself. Reader referred to as Y/N and male titles/compliments.

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, blood, gore, dismemberment to the best best of my ability, fluff, angst, so much death on god, brutal deaths, stitches, skin ripping, bad language.

Notes: Finished this at 1 in the morning and posting it during Japanese class at school, going to go over and review it soon, but I want to get this out soon as possible. I loved this request and just saying, my inbox is open! If you’re not sure on what I do and don’t write, check my page!

“Y/N?” “Huh? “Y/N, were you even listening?” Your commander asked, a stern look on her face. You didn’t even realise how zoned out you had been, oblivious to the fact that the vast majority of your team had already prepped up.

“Oh…Sorry, Captain.” You apologised, standing up from your seat on the bench and making way to go put on your gear. Of course you were going to be a bit freaked and zoned out, this was a deadly mission. You knew your Captain was going to need everyone to be in tip top shape for this mission to go smoothly, if you slipped up and did something wrong…it would cost lives.

“Come on, Y/N. I need my best man out there today, not distracted Y/N, okay?” Your Captain told you, giving you a small pat on the shoulder. Valencia was a nice woman, even let you call her ‘Val’ on the odd occasion. She was a good person, believed in the good of the world more than one person should. She believed in you as well, she knew you could be great.

You nodded, placing your helmet on and giving her a thumbs up. The rest of the team were just waiting for you to finish up before they would leave, an indicator that this mission was already unorganised. A bad feeling, like a black hole, had appeared in your stomach.

“Alright men! Let’s do this. You all know the plan. I want Oak and Close going in from the left, Wilson and Stampler on the right. O’Niel and Bennets are on standby back here and C/N will be heading in from behind as our sniper. We have MedVac ready for those who will need it. Remember, we are going after Andrei Kowalski and his men. This is capture or kill. All clear?” Valencia cut you from your thoughts of dread by announcing the mission was about to start. You’d all get into your helicopter and make your way there…then would come the warfare and violence. You had become null to it by now, the screams and bloodshed were all but nothing to you.

It was liked you had blinked and you were on the field. Time meant nothing to you as you ran through the warzone, the occasional screams of your team members were able to be heard from miles away, sometimes the radio would cackle and you’d catch them conversing with one another, but you were alone in your field…

Always alone.

“C/N? Do you have eyes on him?” Your Captain’s voice called in from the radio, bringing you back to the mission on hand.Your eyes adjusted to look through the scope aimed at the building the team was meant to be invadinging. The lack of your team members indicated they seemed to be receiving a little more resistance than expected.

“Not yet, Captain. I see some of his guards, but not him. I’ll try and get into a better position.” You responded, getting up from your spot on the floor. Your suit was heavier and harder to move in considering it was a camo sniper version, but it was better than being spotted and murdered because an enemy saw you.

You adjusted yourself and lay down on the wet ground. The mud helped cover parts of your gear that didn’t fit in with the terrain, but you still had that odd feeling. That sense of unease that you just couldn’t seem to shake. You had gotten this feeling before on other missions, but it never led to anything.

And it was never this bad.

“C/N. They’re breaching the building now. Mission’s been changed, we’re taking out Andrei at whatever cost. We won’t be able to capture him.” Valencia’s thick English accent came over your radio, startling you a bit. You were a trained sniper, but somehow you were always caught off guard by the one thing you can always expect. You radioed back, confirming you got the message and were proceeding with the instructions.

Your voice drowned out the sound of the footsteps behind you. The cackle of the radio concealed the heavy breathing of the soldier lurking just a few steps away from you. You moved your arms to push yourself up, the rustle of your clothing covering the sound of his body standing over yours, his feet either side of your torso.

“Boo.”

You knew that voice, that unmistakable voice that always seemed to have a smirk behind it. A witty tone that had no business being there. The stench of the cigarette that always seemed to follow the man standing above you. You quickly turned your body around, abandoning the sniper rifle you were holding and just focusing on the fact that he was standing above you. Your eyes snapped up to look at him, your pupils dilating as you processed that it was in fact him standing above you.

Creeper. You had given him that name. When you served as rookies together when you first joined the force, it had become a habit for him to appear out of the blue and scare the hell out of you. He was Creeper to you even after he betrayed your team and you’re fairly certain that's what he is to everyone else as well.

“Alons-” You whispered, but he cut you off, his gun whipping around from his side and now inches away from your eyes. Your breath hitched, knowing you were done for. You looked away from the gun and back up to him, his cold dark brown eye meeting yours. The other eye was a pure white, you cringed every time you thought of the incident which caused him to be blinded. You knew he blamed you…

Maybe that's what drove him to betrayal.

“It’s Creeper, Y/N. I don’t go by that name anymore.” He hissed, his finger on the trigger twitching as he spoke. He was serious, he was going to shoot you and have no mercy about it. This was it…you were going to die here.

“I’m not going to kill you with this gun, Y/N…” He began, lowering the gun a bit. You let go of the breath you were holding from relief, but that was met with a slap to the face that was what he did next. He placed the gun back into his hold and then reached for his back. His arm was up like he was stretching, but his hand quickly grasped the axe he attached to his back and brought it down so he could hold it in both his hands.

“I won’t regret this…at all.” He spat, bringing the axe up to his shoulder like he was about to swing a bat. Your eyes went wide and before you could say anything else, he swung. He swung right down to your neck.

You had heard alot about death. You had many ideas about it. You had heard it would be painful, you had heard it would be painless. You had heard you stayed conscious, you had heard it was over instantly. No matter what divine entity you did or didn’t believe in, it didn’t matter, death wasn’t the same for everyone. If you could still create thoughts after you died, yours would be praying this isn't what it was like for everyone who did. You didn’t want every kind soul to feel the red hot poker being pressed against your skin that was your death. 

After the pain, there was silence. If you were able to think, you would be grateful for it. It would be comforting, calming to your soul to finally be at rest after an impossible amount of years without it. For once, your soul rested unbothered, ready to let go of the fraying rope that was your life.

Then you woke up.

The light was blinding, you would assume you were in heaven, but that would be entirely incorrect. Your ears rang with the most awful noise one could hear, an ear splitting ringing that would drive you insane if it was played for more than five minutes. What felt like a jolt of electricity slammed through your body like a hammer down on a nail. The blinding light disappeared as quick as a snap.

The first thing you noticed was the pain. It circled around all your main joints and connections between the body. Your wrists, knees, ankles, elbows, neck…everything ached. Then you felt the feeling of something pulling on all of your skin, like that time you received stitches in the webbing of your thumb, but everywhere else on your body that ached, along with across your face.

You tried to move your neck first, turn it and try to figure out where you were. The only thing you could see from your head being pointed directly up was a sort of dark blue hue that made the place seem depressing and creepy, like the only light was coming from the moon outside. You were able to move it, but it was stiff and harder than it would usually be. That was your first sign that something was off.

Your head looked down to inspect where you were, taking in the fact you were laying down on a cold metal table. You weren’t restrained or anything, but you were getting major creepy vibes. It felt cool on your back, it was clear that you probably hadn’t been laying there all that long, or the heat from your body would’ve warmed it up. Then you looked down at your hands as you tried to move them.

The stitches and ever so slightly discoloured skin was your second sign that something was off.

You sat up, your body rigid and hard like a doll being used for the first time. You weren’t in your normal clothes, just a simple robe that you’d wear in a hospital if surgery was performed on you, and by the looks of it, it had. 

You were able to move your arm up and inspect it, cringing at the stitches and blood. Several questions ran through your mind, the main one being ‘How the hell am I alive?’ and the second being ‘What the hell happened to me?’ Everything hurts, especially your neck. Your bones felt like they had been removed and remoulded, it all felt too weird to you. Your skin didn’t feel like your own.

A cold and icy voice broke you out of your mesmerised trance of inspecting your body. It came from seemingly nowhere. It sounded…delighted. Your eyes flickered over to the shadows in the corner, one of them was moving towards you. 

It was a man, probably around 6 feet with a stupid grin on his face. His skin was pale, paler than the moonlight shining in through the window above. He slowly walked over to you, hands behind his back like a villain.

“Finally…finally it fucking worked!” He grinned, shaking his head like he had seen something he couldn’t believe. You couldn’t blame him, what was happening was unbelievable. You quickly slid off the table, groaning as you moved for the first time in what would feel like to your body.

“What…the fuck did you do? W-What is this? What happened?!” You called out, your voice cracking as it was used for the first time in ages. You coughed, trying to make it not as itchy. It wasn’t working.

“Y/N…You’re still as animated as ever.” He grinned, gesturing to you and your stitched up body. You wanted to strangle him, clearly he had done something awful to you that you were going to get him to explain, regardless of whatever threats you had to make.

“Answer me right now you…you madman.” You hissed, walking towards him. Every step hurt, like it wasn’t meant to be taken. He smiled, taking a breath before speaking again.

“Y/N…Let me explain. Do you remember the night you went on the mission to kill my good friend Andrei Kowalski…do you remember being killed by your old friend Creeper? You should…you should remember being decapitated. Well…I was given your body…or what was left of it after Creeper chopped it up into a million pieces. Under strict orders from Andrei…to bring you back. So…I stitched you back up. Like you were my very own Frankenstien’s monster. The plan was to bring you back to life the same way Frankenstien had…and it worked.” The man smiled, seemingly okay with telling you his entire plan. You couldn’t decide whether he was stupid or just overly confident in himself that you wouldn’t escape and go find your team. “What now?” You asked, feeling the need to get into his head. After all, this man had literally just reanimated your dead body. He brought back a dead man and just stood there like an evil little Einstein.

“Now…I will bring you to him. So he can kill you over and over again…and you’ll come back every time.” He grinned and before you could react, he grabbed your hand and attempted to pull you closer to him in order to trap you. What he obviously didn’t anticipate was that your years of military training and work would stay with you and chime in when you needed it most.

You grabbed his arm, pulling him towards you and then placing your leg behind his so you could throw his balance off and keep him on the ground. You slammed him down and placed your foot on his chest, grabbing a metal rod just a few inches away from you and raising it high, just how Creeper had done.

“Y/N. Y/N WA-” He called out, extending a hand out to try and reason with you, but you brought it down on his head, instantly crushing his skull. You slammed it down over and over, making sure that if anyone even tried to bring this monster back from the dead, it would be impossible. You didn’t stop until you could see the brain sticking to the bat, that’s when you knew it was done.

You dropped the metal rod and stood there for a moment, huffing and puffing as you figured out what you had just done. You looked up from his body and to your horrible convenience, there was a mirror just in front of you. You stood in front of it, observing what you looked like.

There were clear and major differences that you could see so far. The first one being your eyes, they didn’t look the same as they had done before. One of them, the one on the left was a light yellow and the right one was a silver grey. It was creepy and inhuman, there was no pupil or iris either…just pure colour. You would question how you could still see, but you were too distracted by everything else and too high off of fear to question anything.

Your skin was neatly stitched together with a white thread, standing out against your skin tone. Most of the stitching wasn’t visible, but when it was it wasn’t too obvious, sort of the stitching you’d see on your friend’s hand when they’d get a deep cut or something. Just that, pulling your skin together. There was blood along most of the lines, the dried stuff was yours, the fresh belonged to Mr Crazy that you had never gotten the name of.

“Y/N?” A voice called out. Your eyes snapped over to the door in the corner or the room, the door was open. Standing in it, Valencia and the rest of your team. Valencia herself looked horrified as you stood over his dead body, his blood now mixing in with yours. The darkness in the lab made it look like you were a shadow, a ghost…a monster.

“Val-” You began, but were cut off by her running up to you and giving you a hug. You were caught off guard, she had never shown any affection to you, let alone physical. This was unlike her in so many ways.

“You idiot. We thought you died. We tracked your radio here but-” She spoke, cutting herself off as she made eye contact with you, or tried to. Your silver and yellow eyes had confused her, then she saw all the stitches. The one across your face concerned her the most.

“Y/N…what the hell happened to you?” She whispered, stepping back and raising her gun slightly. As the rest of the team looked over to you, they did the same. Placing their weapons in a hand that they’d be able to use in case you attacked them. You couldn’t explain yourself, you really couldn’t. Hell, even if you didn’t fully know what had happened to you, there was no way you could explain yourself.

“Captain…don’t…I-I’m not a threat.”  You whispered, stepping forward and raising your hand. To your surprise, she took a further step back, some of the men even raised their shields. She clutched her gun, raising it further to her chest. That's when you realised, you were not a human to these people you called your friends…

You were a monster.

______________________

“Why’d you join the 141?” 

“Huh?”

“Why’d you join us? You were a part of The Seekers, no? They’re a pretty elite team. Why’d you drop them for us?” Soap asked, shuffling a bit closer to you as you sat on the bench. It had been little over five months since you had joined the team and the connection between you and Soap had formed instantly. Unsurprisingly, the team members didn’t mind the fact your entire body was covered up. They had Ghost on the team, they weren’t going to judge you.

“Oh I…a mission went wrong. I didn’t feel like I could stay with them and neither did they.” You replied after a moment of thinking. For a minute, you had wanted to refrain from telling Soap the actual reason for it. Technically, it was the truth so that was going to lend a hand to your moral argument.

“Was it the same mission that…caused you to cover up?” He asked again. You thought about hitting him with the ‘that's enough’ that you had used before when he asked to see your face a while back, but you were close now. You felt he had a right to know now.

You gave a small nod, the glasses you wore over your balaclava covering your expression. You were glad he was respectful with his questions, never pushing you to answer anything you didn’t and never stepping over the line you had drawn. You didn’t want to get attached to this team as quickly as you had, but Mr MacTavish had broken down your walls quicker than you could put them up.

“C/N, Soap. We’re going to head out now, Gaz just got back with the all clear. Good to see you’re both in gear.” Ghost interrupted you two as he walked into the gear room. You were reminded that you were in fact, in the military and not some hangout session with Soap. You nodded, getting up and holding out your hand to pull the slightly shorter man up.

“Oooh, thank you M’lord.” He smiled as he took your hand, pulling himself up. You would roll your eyes if you could, so you just let out a small scoff. He chuckled as he walked with you to the deployment area, knowing they were in for a hell of a journey.

_____

“Y/N? You okay?” Soap’s voice cackled in over the radio as you made your way through the little abandoned city. The rest of the team were over in another section, leaving Soap and Gaz back at a small protected setup area. You were just so lucky to have Soap watching over you from the cameras that had been placed in all the buildings before it was abandoned. How your team had access to them, you had no clue. All you knew was that your man was here and you were to take him down.

“All good over here, Soap. Tell me if you see one of those fuckers hiding behind a corner.” You spoke back, pressing down on the radio with your gloved hand to respond to the man you were developing a small attraction to, whether you knew it or not.

“There’s a guy around the corner, knife him.” Soap informed you, shuffling from where he was laying in the safe room. You nodded, taking his advice and running round the corner, throwing and pinning the man to the wall, knifing the guy in the throat. You could practically hear the smirk in his tone when he came back.

“Nice kill. You should do that to me sometime.” He smirked, his Scottish accent only adding to his sassiness. You groaned at his painful attempt at flirting, firing back at him.

“You want me to kill you? Don’t worry, I'm already planning it.” You smiled, making your way through the destruction that was the ruined town of Norest.

“Do you have plans to kill every one of us?”

“Nope, just you.”

“I’m flattered. How’d ye do it?”

“If I tell you, I’d have to change my plan.”

“Fair play.” Soap smiled, checking the cameras to watch you move. He was so intrigued by you. He had never seen your face, never bothered to check your file. He respected you too much…along with the fact Gaz had caught him snooping around in the file area. But the respect came first.

Sometimes, he’d gaze at you and just wonder what it would be like to see what was under your gear. He wanted to see you, the real you. His sketchbooks were filled with a thousand pictures of what he imagined you looked like, each picture different from the last. Did you have bright blue eyes, ivory skin and wavy ginger hair, or did you have beautiful dark brown eyes, mahogany skin and medium length locs? Perhaps you had acne, perhaps you had a scar going across your left eyebrow. He didn’t have a clue what you looked like, but he knew you were handsome.

“MacTavish? Are you still with me?” Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, not even realising he was kicking his feet like a schoolgirl (Gaz was utterly bewildered, but was unable to comment because he was actually doing his job and guiding his other teammates across the town in search of the man they had to find.) “Aye, I’m ‘ere.” “Good, thought I’d lost you. I need you to check around me. Pretty sure I heard our guy but I wanna make sure.” You told him, making sure to keep quiet. Your stitches were getting a bit itchy, but you could scratch them later when you were by yourself. It wouldn’t look natural for Soap to just see you scratch the middle of your face in a specific pattern and for him to not question it.

“Right, gimme a sec.”

There was a silence, what felt like an eternity of waiting before you got a response from the scott. It was like he was purposefully keeping you on your toes, wanting to see you squirm and hide for no apparent reason other than he was a chaotic man.

“Yeah, he’s there. I’ve informed Gaz and he’ll direct Ghost and Price over to you. He’s a few metres away, you could sneak up on him and take him down from behind.” Soap spoke, clearly moving as he did. He would be looking over at Gaz and getting his readings on Price and Ghost as he explained the situation to you.

You gave a nod, knowing he could see you. Peering round the corner, Soap wasn’t lying. The dark slicked back hair, tall physique and tanned skin let you know this was your guy. You slipped your hand into your 

You ran up to the taller man, placing your gun to the back of his neck and kicking his knee so that he’d fall and you’d be able to kill him nice and swift with no hassle or fuss whatsoever. Unfortunately, the man had different plans.

He quickly turned around, grabbing your gun and throwing it to the side. You were unable to press down on the back of his knees, because he had turned around and was now facing you. You reached for your knife, but were stopped when you felt his foot on your chest. It took a second to register what was happening, but by the time it did you were shoved into an already cracked wall.

You took a moment, knowing you didn’t have one. You had most likely gotten a concussion from the hit, but you couldn’t focus on that now. Just as you were about to grab your gun which had been thrown aside, the man stopped you. He grabbed onto your mask, his nails digging in past the fabric and into the stitched skin below, and shoved your head down to the floor once more. 

The screams of Soap came in through your radio, assorted word vomic that you couldn’t actually make out with everything spinning and your ears ringing. You’d hope he’d come to you and save you, but as soon as your mind stopped spinning, you realised you didn’t actually want him to save you. There was blood dripping and staining your mask. Your blood. It was an unnatural amount for something that shouldn’t have even drawn more than a drop of the red liquid, which could only mean one thing.

Your stitches ripped.

It seemed that your enemy had also been caught off by the amount of blood, giving you just a few seconds to grab the gun, aim it at his face and completely miss, hitting his shoulder instead. He grabbed it in pain and immediately resorted to grabbing out his own knife and stabbing it right into your stomach, ripping it through the skin and dragging a line down it. You cried in pain as your flesh was exposed and your stitches ripped, causing even further damage. 

Why wasn’t he killing you? Why not put you out of your misery and shove that knife right into your face. Why make you suffer? There were so many questions and not enough time to answer them. Well, there was probably enough time, but that would require knowing what the actual fuck was going on.

“Y/N!” You breathed a sigh of relief as you heard the sound of your Captain running towards you, Ghost right behind. The unmistakable noise of a gunshot colliding with someone’s head put a smile on your face, watching as the man fell to the floor.

“Y/N, You alright?” Price asked, kneeling down beside you as you pushed yourself up against the wall. Your hand was on your chest, covering up any exposed skin or blood. You nodded, trying to pass it off as if you were just shaken up. You couldn’t let them see…you.

“Y/N! You idiot!” The familiar Scottish accent put a smile on your face, watching the Scottsman run towards you was a relieving sight at first…but then you remembered what happened.

“Y/N, you alright?”

“Don’t look.” “Y/N, what’s going on?”

“You won’t like what you see, just step away. All four of you.” “I have a right to know. Are you injured?”

“No-No just go.” “Y/N, Let me see-”

You would’ve liked to protest more, but you were losing too much blood to fight him. Soap had pulled your hands back, moving your shirt so he could see the heavy amount of blood loss. He looked up at your glasses, noticing the blood on your mask. He knew what he had to do, even if he didn’t like it. 

When he removed your mask, your glasses came down with it. Gravity had decided to fuck you over more than you had already been fucked. There was a silence as the whole team looked over at you, the ripped stitching across your face…and your eyes. They were, if anything, the biggest indicator that something was different with you.

“S-Soap…” You began, but you couldn’t figure out how to finish what you were saying. You just wanted him to say something, say anything. Instead, he was just staring. You had no idea what he was thinking about, but you just knew he was horrified with you, along with the rest of the 141. 

“Oh…oh Y/N…What…what the hell happened to you?” He whispered and to your surprise, he placed a hand on your bloodied cheek. He looked concerned…but he wasn’t scared of you like you’d expected. He got closer instead of backing away, that’s what made him different from your old team.

“Soap…I’m sorry for not telling you…or anyone else about…” You trailed off, using an arm to gesture to yourself. You had no idea what he was thinking about, you could only hope it was something good about you. He was clearly about to say something when Price butted in first.

“You two, we should go. We can all have a…chat after Y/N isn’t bleeding out infront of us.” Price’s rough British accent made him seem more serious in all situations he’s in. This one especially. Soap gave a nod and turned back to you, his eyes not full of fear or hatred…just sympathy.

_______ “Do you think I’m a freak, though?” You asked as Soap walked around your hospital bed. It had been a few days ever since the incident had happened. Soap kept a close eye on you and reported back on your condition to the rest of the team. When you had woken up, the questions were slow and boring…but now you were finally opening your walls and so was he.

“No…I don’t think you are. I mean-I’ve got no idea what exactly you are, but you’re not a freak. Just…different.” He responded, careful to not say anything that might upset you. You took note of this, feeling a bit hurt that he was censoring himself, but knowing why he was doing it helped a bit.

“You don’t have to filter yourself, John. Tell me…any questions that you have.” You practically begged him. The whole reason you covered yourself up was not to be seen as different, but now that it was useless, it was useless for Soap to cover his questions up. It took a while for him to gather up the courage to ask you something, but he did.

“What…what happened to you? I’m assuming you weren’t born like this.” He questioned, trying to add a little humour to the end of the message but failing miserably. You took a breath and told him everything. The mission, what death felt like, killing the man who brought you back to life, not belonging to your team anymore because of what had happened. By the end, you were sure Soap was tearing up. He was an emotional man, you couldn’t blame him.

“I…I’m gonna be honest, Y/N…that’s really fucking depressing.” He expressed, placing a hand on his mouth. You stared at him for a moment, his eyes staring back into yours. He was fascinated by you, what you looked like. He was sure he had a sketch in his book that looked exactly like you…minus the stitching and the eyes.

“The rest of the team…what do they think?” You asked, closing your eyes and looking up. You needed to know the reactions of everyone in the team, you couldn’t live with yourself not knowing their actual opinions on who and what you were.

“Ghost and Gaz are…surprisingly alright with it. Price was a bit shocked, he was only shown a photo of you before…all that happened. But mainly..they don’t mind. When you come back to active duty…I don’t think you’d need to cover up as much anymore. You still can, if you want. Not gonna force you.” Soap told you, sitting down next to your bed. You were grateful for him in times like these, where he reminded you that you were no longer alone. He was always there for you…you loved him for that.

You loved that he was kind to you.

You loved that Soap was so understanding and patient.

You loved…

You loved Soap.

“I will say though,” his words cut you out of your sudden very gay realisation, turning to face him as he sat next to your bed. “You are way more attractive than anything I could even imagine sketching up.” (Happy Halloween!)

[laiosynth]

remembering i can just post about whatever i want whenever i want

KABRU AND THE BATS AU HCS !!

(for context, an AU where kabru and tim have switched places in the multiverse at birth. i'll make tim's post soon)

- kabru was convinced dick was going to kill him when he first met him as nightwing and accidentally gave away that he knew their secret identities. ever since, dick has been unbelievably gentle with kabru while also being SO relentless in his teasing. kabru will always be known as "the crazy one" to dick and it confuses everyone else.

- kabru and bruce are literally exactly the same. kabru acts like a tiny version of bruce to everyone (in reality, he's just paranoid-- and also knows exactly how bruce's paranoia works, as well.)

- when kabru first arrives at wayne manor, dragged there LITERALLY carried by the scruff by dick, he still puts on his absolute best manners when greeting alfred at the door. alfred was ready to keep him right then and there.

- kabru freaks out, panics, and starts biting people whenever he accidentally acts like a real boy in front of the bats for the first month he knows them. real of him

- kabru has an entire complex view of the world and the people in it and himself-- he sees himself as a fox, wearing a mask to fit in with the world of hounds. a mask, to him, is a tool to survive.

- when kabru goes to save batman and nightwing from scarecrow, he doesn't take the robin suit. he just takes a domino. kabru doesn't take the title of robin like tim did.

- when jason attacks the titan tower, kabru survivors by using EXTENSIVE psychological warfare and then forcing the guy on a 5-day road trip from the west coast back to the east with him. this somehow works.

- jason hates kabru and also would kill and die for him. calls him "foxface" ever since kabru told him about the fox in a mask thing.

- kabru hates jason but also relies on him for literally all of his emotional needs and also would drop everything at any moment if jason asked

- jason has forced kabru to watch star wars and read the hobbit. kabru forced jason to read PJO

- when damian arrived, kabru was instructed "absolutely NO psychoanalysis". he did not listen

- damian, surprisingly, did not see kabru as that much of a threat. kabru took advantage of this big time

- they bonded surprisingly quickly. kabru showed damian how to use kohl, and they bonded over a shared interest in fashion and clothing as a tool

- kabru quickly became damian's favorite, to everyone's dismay

- when cass first arrived, she didn't like kabru that much. he had a lot to hide, and she didn't like that. she could sense the apprehension and careful precision in every movement of his, and she didn't trust it in the slightest.

- until she realized that he was just a weirdo, and resolved to fix his caution with Extreme Prejudice (lots and lots of love)

- kabru doesn't know what to think of cass at first, because she's... almost entirely unmasked. the only mask she wears is one that's entirely blank.

- she grows on him. aggressively.

- steph didn't like him very much for a long, long time. kabru could tell why- his mask was working too well. and she didn't like his mask at all. "mr perfect goody two-shoes" was her go-to nickname for him.

- the only thing that fixes the disconnect (because kabru's too scared to take OFF his mask, that's too far) is dick telling the story of the time kabru bit him. kabru is mortified. steph is delighted. and a bit disappointed she hadn't realized he was just a Freak earlier.

- duke figures out his act quickly and harshly. kabru is a bit worried, actually, until he realizes that people have just started chalking his entire mask and persona up to "bat weirdness"

- duke gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder when kabru realizes this crisis

- bruce is trying SO HARD at this point to bond with kabru any further than "batman and protege"-- pulls out all the stops! calls him chum, literally OFFERS TO ADOPT HIM. kabru is fucking oblivious to bruce's attempts.

- (he's in denial. everyone in the batfam has to get on their case to shake some sense into him)

uhhhh thatd all right now. yay

[auntieinthemushroomhat]

Analysing Why Williza Wouldn't Have Worked Out Through The Lens of a Pop Song

Hey, hi, hello!

This is not a post for the Willizas lol

I have no idea how many Stela Cole fans are among the Scarleteers, or, well, the ScarNashers.

This, I know it's a surprise, is not about Patrick and Eliza for once, but Eliza and William, though not in the best light, if that makes up for it, folks.

Stela has a new song called Blood Orange Wine and the lyrics kind of reminded me of Eliza's and William's relationship and how it lowkey went up in flames.

(I do feel I should acknowledge that, as far as I know, Stela's song is about a toxic relationship, which I don't think Eliza's and William's was, but if some of the lyrics fit, what can ya do?)

For your enjoyment:

1, just the title, Blood Orange Wine, itself: Eliza likes to drink wine, not beer, although she does drink whiskey, but usually in the presence of men eg. William, Patrick and probably Moses too (gosh I miss him)

2, I know it wasn't this extreme in the show, buuuut He knew the reasons I was scared of love - she was scared of entering a relationship with William, and I think the the reasons for that are:

a, he was her only family outside of Ivy, if it didn't work out, she would absolutely lose him (which happened in the end, and she didn't really get to have a say in the matter)

b, he was the only person she had ever felt romantic feelings for up until then

c, she had never been in a relationship, whereas William had been known for dallying with actresses, hell, he even courted her childhood bully

d, his image of the wife he wanted to marry differed so much from who Eliza is as a person, and Eliza, rightfully, didn't want to change herself completely just to fit that image

3, Told me he'd catch me if I fell, then he went running off - he confessed his love then upped and left, aka ran off, even though they were supposed to stick together since they were practically family, especially post-Henry's death

4, Knife to my throat until I opened up - again, I don't mean it literally, but he confessed his love, probably knowing Eliza wasn't ready, especially with the bomb that he was leaving for a year

5, He left me bleeding, now I'm freaking out - in that he left her to her own devices in regards to:

a, working out her feelings

b, knowing she was struggling to get cases at Nash & Sons and that she would no longer have access to Scotland Yard the same way without him, even with Fitzroy there (it's a bit redeeming though that he knew Nash was back to help Eliza)

c, knowing she had suffered a probably traumatic experience of not knowing whether he would live or die after getting shot

d, freaking out, as in she is sulking, or as she calls it, brooding, which is totally understandable, in my opinion, looking at the circumstances

6, Oh, I'm losing my forever, he only lets me down

a, Eliza and William were supposed to be endgame (still, I'm glad it didn't happen), they were each other's "forevers" right until they weren't

b, he only lets me down - she had to manipulate him in order to get him to help her, even though she needed his help, it wasn't (just) about her ambition

7, Wrapped around his finger, now my finger's wrapped around this glass

a, remember how important it was whenever they held hands or even their fingers touched?

b, in season 1, she regularly used her more womanly red dress to get him to do what she wanted, aka had him wrapped around her finger, because he wouldn't have helped her earn a living otherwise

Honestly, the more I wrote for this, the angrier I got. I still love William as a character, but they kinda fucked up his whole arc. Respect to Stuart for leaving, even if it wasn't because he saw that this would lead nowhere.

All of this, I think, supports why Patrick is a much better match for Eliza, even just as a friend and partner, but also as a potential love interest.

[alonetimelover]

Action! - 2023 - Social Media

Pairings: Director!Reader x Joseph Quinn (+Ex!Harry Styles)

Warnings: swearing, some angst in comments(?)

Summary: Harry unexpectedly releases a new album. Fans are shocked. Twitter is in flames. A small restaurant in London becomes a gossip place. New beginning.

Side note: The album is made of songs by Joji, Bruno Major, Giveon and Lewis Capaldi.

Also it was supposed to have a written blurb within, but it already has 3k words. Just let me know if you want to read about Joe listening to the album and the confrontation.

check out this series SM posts! part1 part2 part3 part4 part5

series masterlist feedback

Part based on a message I got from @little-freak-satellite. thank you and I hope you enjoy it!

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harrystyles

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harryupdates, harrysmoustache, hArrysbtch, harryshoee and 19 192 828 others

harrystyles •1133•27192• my new album is OUT AT MIDNIGHT

view all 483 392 comments

hArrysbtch im sorry sir- YOUVE BEEN GONE FOR MONTHS AND NOW YOURE COMING BACK WITH A WHOLE NEW ALBUM- WITHOUT A WARNING???? WTF MAN

harrysmoustache excuse me???? i- speechless

harryupdates another sleepless night, thank you, harry!

ynupdates oh... i have a bad feeling

⤷ ynsmybestie i do too, i hope it's nothing too bad

⤷ ynshands besties.... you think he wrote a whole album for her (again)?

⤷ ynsmybestie probably. look at the artwork. his hand is real and has a shadow. the other one is only a shadow. this person is probably no longer with him, just like yn

⤷ ynshands noooo, im not ready to cry 😓

⤷ ynsmymama i did a quick calculation and, well, 1133 days are 27192 hours, it's about 3 years and a month...

⤷ ynshands youre kidding! the time they were in a relationship is an album title?????

⤷ ynsmybestie oh god, he really hasn't moved on

annetwist ❤️

harryshoee ehmm, are you okay??

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harryupdates

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by ynupdates hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache, harrysmylife and 10 182 others

harryupdates Like you all know Harry announced today his newest album - 1133 27192. His website also got an update - after it loads on your computer for a split second one of 13 photos is shown. Each photo can be seen only once on an individual IP address. Those photos are the ones that got caught by fans.

1133 27192 out at midnight. Pre-save it on Apple Music and Spotify now!

view all 2 028 comments

ynupdates this is so fucked up... harry, what are you doing...

ynshands he used the photos we've never seen of them???? wtf, harry. wtf

ynsmybestie im ready to fight him. yn just got married two months ago, and had her first baby and he's pulling this shit??? nah, man. not with me those tricks

ynshands im just wondering if there wasn't even one person on his team that said 'Harry, its a little too far' BECAUSE IT IS TOO FUCKING FAR!!!

harrysmoustache well, i cant keep defending you, harry

harryshoee at least these are some nice photos! 😬

user182 isn't that an invasion of privacy?

joeandynfann im wondering what joe's thinking of it

⤷ ynshands this poor man. he's a new dad, has a wonderful wife, and needs to somehow deal with her unrestrained ex

⤷ ynsmybestie i feel so bad for him. if i were him, i would probably not last with yn. he loves her so much 🫠

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twitter

yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

you remember me from Harry's house breakdown? well, the 'numbers' album dropped almost six hours ago and let me tell you... i've listened to it 5 times already, cried my eyes out - im dehydrated. but...this album is just for, about and everything YN so i have to do a breakdown (1)

16k comments 💬 80k shares 🔃 201k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornorbabe 2h

1. she chose me: it's the easy one - song that didn't make it to Fine Line (Harry's house too). just harry not comprehending how YN could love him. 'Why was it I and nobody else? The most beautiful girl that I'd ever seen And she chose me' (2)

14k comments 💬 65k shares 🔃 193k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

2. tapestry: through the first listen - this was the song that firstly made me cry. it's basically harry's response to champagne problems (that i BET is a story about how yn rejected his proposals). in champagne problems there is a line 'you'll find the real thing instead, she'll patch up your tapestry that i shread'. and harry's responding yn with 'you'll always be a part of my tapestry' meaning - without you, no one will patch up this tapestry - his life. ALSO it's a second on the album, just like champagne problems is. (3)

17k comments 💬 15k shares 🔃 65k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

3. nothing: again a song that didn't make it to Fine Line (either Harry's house) 'there is nothing like doing nothing with you' (4)

11k comments 💬 12k shares 🔃 57k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

4. pointless: ehh, this is a song where harry is in denial, i think. he's singing about how well yn and he know, love and cherish each other. 'i'll wait for you, you'll wait for me too' is repeated throughout the whole song until the actual end - when he realises the truth 'of all the things I'm chasing, there's only one I choose, everything is pointless without you'. (5)

15k comments 💬 14k shares 🔃 57k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

5. feeling like the end: i think he wrote this song while being angry, quite blaming yn for what had happened between them 'you used to promise me it would be forever, feeling like the end, don't think it will get better' (6)

13k comments 💬 16k shares 🔃 60k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

6. unholy matrimony: CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS CONFIRMED! harry did propose to yn, she rejected him - break up. but this song is more or less a hypothetical turn of events if she accepted engagement. 'now i know we'll never know what happens when our love just ain't the same no more' - maybe it would be different if their love stayed the same. 'our love story's ended way too soon, you're supposed to love to the tomb' and also 'love will give you what you need but also take what you don't appreciate' (7)

14k comments 💬 17k shares 🔃 62k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

7. before the day is over: i think it made be the first song he wrote after the reality kicked in - yn was not his anymore, he wasn't hers; but he was still hoping she would call, text. 'say something soon, we might lose it all'. and then 'i can't take another day, i could go insane, there's only so much i can take' he deep down knew it was ultimate end, no turning back, no 'saying something soon'. (8)

16k comments 💬 16k shares 🔃 61k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 2h

8. die for you: song about harry getting to know about yn and joe being together. 'i heard that you're happy without me, and i hope it's true' 'i hope you're getting everything you needed' when he is 'not the same without your head on my shoulder' 'and it's true i need you here closer'. yn being happy is killing him but 'that's okay 'cause i'd still die for you'. and they're not friends because 'only time we speak is in my dreams' im crying again... (9)

19k comments 💬 15k shares 🔃 65k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

9. glimpse of us: BE AWARE ! WATERFALL OF TEARS ! harry has/had a new woman, she's perfect but he still wishes it was yn - because 'sometimes when i look into her eyes, and that's where i found a glimpse of us'. he's a dick. because that lovely woman is his rebound. and then this man is crossing a line, ladies, gentleman and non-binary folks - 'maybe one day you'll feel lonely and in his eyes you'll get a glimpse, maybe you'll start slipping slowly and find me again' THE NERVE ?! im so angry but im crying so much as well (10)

21k comments 💬 19k shares 🔃 71k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

10. dissolve: here he knows that it was a dick move in glimpse of us, he sings 'who the hell am I to think you're my angel from above? it's not right' BRAVO, it's not, harry. and then again 'you got the life you always wanted, please don't leave me behind'. he can't stand yn being happy with joe (11)

15k comments 💬 17k shares 🔃 64k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

11. heartbreak anniversary: so, after using my math skills i calculated when the heartbreak happened. it was around 3rd of July 2020 - around the same day and month in 2023 yn's pregnancy got revealed. i think (i'm certain) this song is a product of harry getting the news. (12)

13k comments 💬 18k shares 🔃 68k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

12. to let a good thing die: it feels like a warning harry gives us, 'life isn't like a movie, but it sure will make you cry'. it also feels like harry's telling us about what that 'good thing' did to him, he wants to prevent us from that pain. ending the song with 'stop wishing for forever, 'cause nothing ever lasts, if it's keeping you from sleeping wipe the tear from you eye, 'cause sometimes, it's time to let a good thing die.' it's not a healthy advice but harry doesn't know any other, heartbreak consuming him still. (13)

16k comments 💬 19k shares 🔃 70k likes ❤️

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yn and joe r my parents @ianornotbabe 1h

13. the most beautiful thing: it might be a song where harry's saying that he's over yn. i don't believe it. in 'she chose me' he calls yn 'the most beautiful girl' and here he's singing 'the most beautiful thing that i have never seen'. maybe he wants something new, maybe his over yn, but considering he released 12 songs saying how much he still loves her, i don't buy this 'i'm over you' bullshit, a a (14)

18k comments 💬 16k shares 🔃 69k likes ❤️

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harrysbtch @iheartharryandyn 1h

i cried so much while listening to this album. and i still haven't stopped listening. he's voice - so heartbroken, hoarse and low???

1k comments 💬 0,4k shares 🔃 3k likes ❤️

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joseph my love @joemyman 1h

it's a beautiful album but i feel so sorry for joe, he hasn't got a day in peace since starting a relationship with yn

2k comments 💬 0,9k shares 🔃 5k likes ❤️

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yn the queen @ynmyqueenandsaviour 1h

@joemyman i just hope he and yn just haven't listened to it yet and don't plan to. it's really too much to handle, i think. especially with having a little baby under your roof.

2,3k comments 💬 1,1k shares 🔃 5,6k likes ❤️

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Instagram

joeandynupdates

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by ynupdates, harrysmoustache, harrysupdates, ynsmybestie and 8 292 others

joeandynupdates Joe this morning at the London café! The person that took the photo said that Joe was checking his phone constantly, getting visibly upset by something.

Just let me remind you that it's been just about 9 hours since Harry dropped another album about YN.

credit: josephmyman

view all 1 920 comments

ynupdates i hope it wasn't the moment he got the news about the album...

hArrysbtch i still have hope that Harry had contacted YN before releasing the album... i know, i am naive

harrysupdates please tell me no one was bothering this kind human being

⤷ josephmyman so hi! im the one that took the photo. After that, i politely walked up to him to just say hello and literally praise his work. he was soooo kind and lovely, so smily. he refused a photo ('so sorry, love') but propose a hug and to sign something for me. i was more than happy!

⤷ ynsmybestie do you know if him and yn know about the album?

⤷ josephmyman im more than certain. his phone was on the table and from the corner of my eye, i saw IG opened with a post about THAT album. he also smirked at my t-shirt (unfortunately i had a tee with harry's photo with the text 'that's my man' on it)

⤷ ynshands id love to see joe's face 💀

eddiesbaby dad life treating him well, look at this man 🤤

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yourinstagram

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by josephquinn, taylorswift, florencepugh, tchalamet, ynupdates, hArrysbtch and 11 028 383 others

yourinstagram meeting granny and papa for the first time 🩷 (I'm afraid i'm gonna turn into an instagram mum...)

view all 583 291 comments

josephquinn best nannies in the world

⤷ florencepugh excuse me?

⤷ taylorswift excuse me?

⤷ tchalamet excuse me?

⤷ yourbestfriend excuse me?

florencepugh little Mae my love 🥰

tchalamet THAT'S MY GODDAUGHTER!!! 👶

taylorswift look at her holding her head without a problem! she's growing up so quick 😭

⤷ yourinstagram don't, tay. i cried today because she has two times more hair than a few days ago...

ynshands her name is Mae???? it's so beautiful !!!!

⤷ ynsmybestie i think it's a nickname

⤷ ynsmymama what if its Maeve??? it matches and its from Irish mythology that yn likes so much

⤷ hArrysbtch yes!!! i agree! Maeve was a warrior queen!

harrysmoustache look at you being unbothered, Queen behaviour!!!!

harryupdates beautiful family! 😍

harrysmylife i think she still doesn't know about the album...

⤷ joemyman you think joe didn't tell her?

⤷ harrysmylife I mean... if I were joe, i wouldn't tell her

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ynupdates

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harryupdates, ynsmybestie, joeandynfann, ynshands and 28 293 others

ynupdates HARRY, YN AND JOSEPH WERE SPOTTED AT THE REASTAURANT TOGETHER !!!!

There is no information of where it was on who got the photo.

view all 6 293 comments

ynshands what in a matrix just happened?????

ynshands excuse me?????

ynshands im so confused i- WHAT?!

ynshands wtf

harrysmoustache jeixhejisjdjdiis you're kidding!!!!! its not real

hArrysbtch what in the fuck is going on???? is it real? is it photoshop? are the fans lying??? maybe it was someone else? not yn and joe? whaaaaat

joeandynfann this is so random

user492 is this some kind of pr move? why are they meeting in public?

⤷ ynsmybestie i may be wrong but I can't imagine yn inviting harry to her and Joe's home. and neither going to harry's house where they made so many memories

⤷ user492 it makes sense

⤷ user917 but why not some low-key restaurant?

⤷ ynsmymama tmz uploaded a video of them leaving. it's literally some small restaurant outside of London. there were just a few people there.

ynshands i calmed down, do we know more about it??

⤷ ynsmybestie well, apparently it was all about the album. a person that got the photo also recorded them. tmz has it on its website

harrysupdates oh, that's so strange

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tmz

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by harrysmoustache, ynsmybestie and 293 292 others

tmz "Well, it's not only about you. Not everything is. She didn't have a say in it. You did it behind her back. The least you can do now is apologise. And I don't think your proud ass can do that." Those were some of the words that Harry Styles (29) heard from his ex-girlfriend - YN YSN - husband - Joseph Quinn (29). The actor didn't hold back with words towards the pop star and neither did YN - just calmer. To listen to their conversation go to the link in our bio!

view all 27 292 comments

harrysmoustache "You know how much it hurt to have my, our photos out there without permission. You said you felt the same. And now, you're reliving the past. But I'm the only one just off the boat. You betrayed all my trust, even the last strands of it that I've had." Oh man. it feels so wrong to listen to it, buuut tea 🍵 yn said what needed to be said

hArrysbtch "Man, I'm not asking you to do anything for me or because of me. I know you hate me, and if I'm being honest you're not my favourite person on the planet either, but if what you sing and write is true about YN, do it for her. For the last three years, she didn't catch a break. You're everywhere and it's tiring. You're a famous one, so you really can just stop this. For her." JOSEPH YOURE THE MAN I LOVE. LET ME GET ON MY KNEES.

ynsmybestie "Talk with Anne and Gemma. They know you like nobody else, they're there for you. Just, just get better, Harry. All of this is consuming you. You deserve better than still hanging on something that is no longer there." she still cares. she still is giving him advice. 😭

harrysmylife "I really am sorry, YN. Please tell Joseph. I regret, I regret what I did. I know it looks like a PR move. It wasn't. I just was a prick, did it for myself, for private benefit. I'm sorry for affecting you and your family, again. I'm so sorry, darling." HE SLIPPED THE PET NAME. HARRY YOU SIMP, OH GOD

harrysupdates i literally hate the person that recorded them

ynshands does the person that recorded know its illegal???

ynsmymama you're sick for uploading it! it was a private conversation!

⤷user396 they were in public. should've stayed at home.

⤷ ynsmymama just because it was at the restaurant, doesn't mean they had the right to record.

ynshands oh Harry... thank god Joseph is a nobleman and didn't beat your ass up. I wouldn't blame him. I'd beat you up if you were saying all this about MY WIFE

joeandynfann I can't believe im the only one drooling over joe smoking????? he looks so hot

⤷ ynshands it is!! but didn't he quit (because of becoming a dad)?

⤷ joemyman he did say that. maybe because of all the stress he just needed one?

joesupdates also joseph didn't say half of the things that are in your caption. why are you trying to put him in a bad light?

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esquire

♥️ 💬 ➤

liked by yourinstagram, ynupdates, ynsmybestie, joeandynfann, joesupdates and 2 201 910 others

esquire "They are my whole world. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them. Being a husband and a father are the best things that happened to me in 2023 or my life. I'm just so happy with having met YN those four years ago. Without her, I really don't know who I'd be." says Joseph Quinn, this year's last front page star. To read the whole article click the link in bio, or buy the paper magazine!

photographed by yourinstagram

styled by yourinstagram

view all 102 392 comments

ynupdates "I don't want to comment on that. It has enough attention, in my mind. I'd just wish it all went differently. Preferably without affecting my wife this badly." I knew that YN wouldn't take that album slightly...

ynshands "My wife is, how can I say it without talking for hours? She's special. Too good for this world. My best friend, my love, the mother of our beautiful daughter. She went through so much the last few years, I still am in awe. She's the strongest woman I know." crying....

ynsmybestie "It's scary to have a child. That little baby's counting on you with their life. It's- it's absolutely terrifying. But seeing her grow so quickly, learn and just be happy with the world is super exciting." Maeve, baby, can I borrow your daddy for a day or two???

joemyman lookin good dad

yourinstagram is he single???

⤷ josephquinn nope. i have a wife, lady.

⤷ yourinstagram damn it!

florencepugh dad life is paying of, joseph

ynsmymama b e a u t i f u l man

harryupdates he's so in love with yn. it's lovely to see!

hArrysbtch happy to see them happy besides all the drama

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harrystyles stopped following yourinstagram

you deleted the number: yn🌻

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text messages between Harry and Anne

mum🩷

i did it. i'm starting fresh.

[this-thing-saved-me]

This Show Saved Me - BTVS 7x22

7x22 Chosen

I will never not find it funny that to stream Buffy I have to go to Disney+. Or the fact that the most recent episode I’d watched (whenever that was) was this one. Since I’m pretty sure I left my rewatch mid-season 3.

But that’s the thing about this particular episode. It’s practically a perfect finale. And felt like the right place to start, because who says everything should happen in order. That’s not always how life works. 

THERE WILL LIKELY BE ABUNDANT SPOILERS FOR A FINALE THAT AIRED OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO. There, that was your warning. And now for some Cole's notes “Story so far.”

Okay, so Buffy’s been through it by this point. The First has annihilated her self-confidence and Caleb has been on the warpath. Spike has told her she’s the one (!!!), whether she fully believes in herself yet or not. (SIDENOTE: yes, I ship Spuffy. Yes, there are very, very valid reasons not to. However I am a big fan of redemption arcs and where they land by the end of the comics feels like as healthy a place as possible with a very real love.)

And Angel shows up trying to be all tall-dark and forehead. Which I get, he’s Angel, he needs to be in the finale. But ultimately he's a delivery boy and he didn’t need to do it in person other than to prompt the first on my list of loves for this episode. 

Which is what I lovingly refer to as the "Cookie Speech." Buffy knows she has more growing to do and she’s self-aware enough to share that with the first love of her life. She’s come a long way from the season of post-resurrection depression, but she’s still not quite ready for what Angel might like her to be (granted he’s JUST lost Cordelia so the fact that he is back at Buffy’s door is a rant for another post.) The idea that things aren’t working for her romantically because she’s not done baking. She hasn’t figured out all that she wants to be. While I love love LOVE this analogy, I wonder if there’s ever really a time in our lives where we are done baking? Besides the end of course. We’re supposed to evolve. We’re supposed to grow.

Spike is her Champion, not Angel. They’ve seen the best and the worst of each other, remember? He knows she needs someone strong, someone with a soul, and despite the bad, she knows he’s earned the right to the title through growing and atoning. Motivated people can change, and that’s something I believe that Spike has shown.

“He had to split” - the joke is LHF and I love it. Does its utterance deserve a place on this list? Yes. Because it's very me-coded. I’d have a very hard time not making the same joke if I had just rendered a man from stem to stern. But I digress. This episode is serious and still silly. It’s the epitome of BTVS episodes. I mean Spike waking from a dream yelling “I’m drowning in Cool Whip,” come on. It’s akin to “the cheese wears me” in off kilter nonsense. Plus Anya later finding her strength in her hatred for "floppy, hoppy bunnies" will never not kill me. (Or her, again spoiler.) I adore Emma Caufield.

Willow is afraid to use magic because of her history with the darkness. Not knowing if she’s stable enough. I can identify with her at this moment after clawing back from my own mental health blip a couple years ago. She went dark. (I went, arguably, nuts) She’s regained her balance but how secure? It’s going to turn out to be really secure because “Oh my goddess” she’s got this. AND…

The fact that Kennedy is there for Willow to help keep her grounded. Her very presence supports Willow but isn’t the deciding factor for victory. Willow needs to believe in herself that she won’t go back over that edge. She touched the darkness and it freaked her the f out. (Once she came back down from the overwhelm and shock of her grief.) I lived in that fear for a long time. And I’m grateful for the grounding I’ve found outside of the support of others, but within myself.

Just for fun, let’s chat about the DND session. Even the scoobies needed to disassociate before the big thing. And self-permission to have fun during challenging times is key. It can’t all be doom and gloom. Sometimes you recharge that nervous energy through Trogdor the Burninator references and that’s more than okay.

Ultimately we have the’ shared power’ speech. “Here’s the part where you make a choice” more specifically. Because they could easily choose to let the First and its legions overwhelm the world and finally be the apocalypse they couldn’t handle. It’s easier to stay down. It’s easier to say I can’t. But where does that get you? Making that choice to take your power back and say I am more than what wants to overwhelm me is a beautiful moment. This moment, where all the Potentials get their piece of the power pie is tremendously moving. I get shivers just thinking about it. Male or female, we don’t need the permission of Slayer power to take back our own. To say ‘no more’ and get back up off the ground. (Although Slayer strength would be badass, let’s be real.)

The bottom line, this episode epitomises what I love about Buffy and the Whedon-verse. Real characters in a fantastic world who battle larger than life caricatures of the demons we fight in our daily lives. This show saved me in a lot of ways. My very first boyfriend got me to watch it back in 2005, which he may have regretted as it CONSUMED my brain for most of grade 12. It was the perfect time for me to experience this show. I credit it for helping me find my voice offline. I was always a nose-in-a-book girl or heavily distracted with FanFiction. I was one of the quietest in my friend group, not really feeling like there was a value to what I had to say. The message that we can choose to be strong and fight back? That’s one that I’ll eternally be grateful for and will carry with me, always. What’s your favourite episode? And why is it “Once More With Feeling”? ;)

(Honourable mention goes to this eye contact where my headcanon is convinced he sees she really does love him despite him telling her otherwise seconds before. THOSE SMG EYES! I can't.)

[pancake-breakfast]

Trigun Book Club! Trigun Book Club! (@trigunbookclub)

Way back in the mid-2000's, a young Pancake Ray was working their first job out of college at a local Giant Chain Bookstore and discovered that no one else working the store cared if they spent their breaks sitting on the floor in front of our rather impressive two and a half bays of manga we had and just... read them right there. Much manga was read, and among the titles read were both Trigun and what was available at that time of Trigun Maximum.

I remember very little from that initial read aside from 1) confusing fight scenes, and 2) enough deviation from the anime (which I had recently watched) that I didn't really have a place for at that time. The anime had wormed itself into a very special place in my heart, so between the differences and just not being in a good place spiritually to handle some of its more religious themes, I wasn't really sure what to do with it. It probably didn't help that, back then, the manga was nowhere near finished.

I still read every volume we had, because gods, I read anything that looked even remotely interesting on the manga shelves at that time.

Now, an older and (debatably) wiser Ray is going to be reading these along with the rest of the Trigun Book Club Denizens. But first, I want to start of with a quote from the notes in The New Oxford Annotated Bible (3rd Ed.) in their prelude to I Kings, which is what I'm currently studying:

There is, on the other hand, no neat correlation between sin and judgment in Kings, largely because of the compassionate character of the Judge who accepts the repentant sinner, who does not desire final judgment to fall upon his creatures, and who is always ready to find cause why such judgment should be delayed or mitigated.

It just seemed like something to keep in mind when thinking about the character of Vash... but YMMV.

Onward!

Stream-of consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 1, Chapters 1-3 below. (More detailed thoughts will be their own posts.)

Trigun Volume 1 Covers

Ok, first off... I love the alternate covers Nightow did. The stark contrast between the serious cleanliness of the covers and the crazy tongue-in-cheek alternate version really sets the tone.

LOL, "Deep Space Planet Future Gun Action!!" Yep, that's it. That's all it is.

How have I never seen Meryl as Luke Skywalker before??

Chapter 1: The $$60,000,000,000 Man

This poster says "Appearance: Unclear," but it also has a picture of him. I'm not sure what to make of that.

Vash's face is so goofy. It's like if his world isn't ACTIVELY ON FIRE, he doesn't know how to be serious. I do like the belts. When watching S1 of Stampede, I missed the belts. I hope S2 has more belts. Something something fetish gear.

I love that there's actually a tally of all this on a wall somewhere. SEVENTY FREAKING TWO MURDER CASES.

Kid: "Mom, I want a gun." Mom: "You already have a gun at home." The Gun At Home: *only shoots toy darts when you, a child no older than 8, are living in the Space Wild Wild West and think you need real bullets*

I love how quickly Vash goes from "OMG FOOD" face to SERIOUS EATING FACE.

And it's immediately followed by this CLOSE-UP ASS SHOT. WHYYYYYY???

I don't know who this cloaked guy who's cocking his shotgun by shaking it vertically is, but I love his stupid hair.

Yeah, you don't get to kill the protagonist THAT fast....

WW isn't even here yet and Nightow's already filling panels with man-tiddies...

LOL, he counted ALL the bullets in that page that was... just... it was just bullet fire. Somehow he counted them all. For every gun. And now everyone else has to leave stripped down to their boxers.

I love that someone, somewhere decided they needed to have a pinball machine all the way out here in nowheresville.

Ah there are the girls. Milly looks so worried about the catcalls, but Meryl? Meryl looks bored.

Chapter 2: Looney Tunes

Ok, first off, this chapter title just makes me think of ep 12 of Stampede when So-and-So starfishes his way out a window before floundering in the air for a second of hangtime and then falling.

Exposition! Huzzah!

Population decline slowing = humans adapting to the new environment. Resilient little buggers.... I know someone who probably HATES that statistic.

So, basically... before July, Vash was small beans. Or going by another name.

Aaaand straight into his goofy poses. This man is made of rubber, I swear.

LOL, why is he talking in French?! I guess a guy's gotta have his hobbies....

But Meryl... I'm with Milly here. Is it really that dangerous??

Ah, yes. The ol' "they'll understand me better if I just speak louder" trick. A favorite of Americans traveling in non-English-speaking countries when said American hasn't bothered to learn even the tiniest bit of the local language.

Current favorite Vash Chaos Pose:

LOL, "MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES FOR INTERRUPTING THIS CONFUSION." This feels like such a Japanese thing to say. It's like, "I know you're all engaged in frantic chaos right now, and because you're engaged in it, it must be very important to you, so I, the intruder, must offer my sincere regret for interrupting it."

I wonder how this version of Milly will merge with a Milly who was crazy enough to volunteer for the position of Meryl's partner in Stampede.

This Vash is definitely not so keen on being caught, even in the face of suffering women and children.

But here he is, protecting the very people who had guns in his face a second ago.

Chapter 3: Hard Puncher

Current favorite Vash Serious Pose:

Ok, I have thoughts here.

Sooooo many shonen speed lines....

Current favorite Vash Action Pose (That intense side eye is *chef's kiss*.)

Man, poor Gosef. But Vash standing over his prone form looks badass.

LOL, the Insurance Girls finally have everyone's attention, and.. they look like they don't want it anymore.

Hahahahaha, there goes the bounty. Can't put a bounty on a natural disaster. The federal government has officially labeled him "not human." *pats Vash*

Actually, he looks kinda happy about this. I guess not having a bounty on your head anymore might do that.

He can still have the head-pats.

The difference in his expression when greeting Meryl versus greeting Milly....

For as terrible as Mr. Nebraska himself is, I always appreciated how much he seems to genuinely care about his son in his own weird way.

Gods, I'm glad every other version got rid of his gun legs, though. That's... a Thing, and I don't like this Thing.

And just like that, Vash goes from "concerned about these girls constantly being around him" to "mildly intimidated by them." Beautiful.

(Thanks to @trigun-manga-overhaul for their translations and making this series accessible!)

[clatoera]

Always Remember We’re Burned For Better Chapter 13(!!!): Don’t Blame Me (Love Made Me Crazy)

...well here we are! Happy SN TV day!! and the 13th Chapter!! I’m aligning spiritually with my god (t swift) rn. (this was posted today on purpose).

Alright so. We have entered the final book so to speak. We are in the war. Now the war is exactly what this fic was always going to be about. And as such the chapters are smaller (4500 rather than 7500) as the war is raging outside and each chapter is less events. Think of it more as a typical fic from here on out, where less happens per chapter, because this is quite literally what the meat of the fic is supposed to be. The war is not one chapter, the war will be many.  Cato is unhinged. Glimmer is going mad. The next like..brick of chapters is essentially all set to Don’t Blame Me because like... welcome to the war💜

Major major trigger warning as there is blatant self harming tendencies here.

AO3

Masterpost

Title from T swizzle of course 

As always this is for my bestie and my loves on this site, who literally never make me shut up and I owe my whole life @ohhowwehavefallen and @afterfawn (and we’ll add @clovecato this time because she will appreciate the SN TV release date for ch 13 and a couple other TS references in the text this time)

Things are going to be different. We have less shippy moments ahead for a few chapters. This portion is about desperation and the loss of love and the lengths one will go for someone they love and to protect them. 

“Kill him Cato.” One blonde ex-victor hisses to the other, the girl tightening the frighteningly deep grip of her nails on the neck of one of her fellow victors. With Finnick on the floor she’s got her hand on the throat of Beetee, watching with frantic eyes as Cato’s arm slips tighter around Plutarch Heavensbee’s neck.

And oh, Cato is close. Neither of them asked for whatever the fuck this is–wherever the fuck it is, actually– and neither of them would have done it had they had even the slightest choice.

Victors, losing their ability to make their own choices yet again, as if anyone is really shocked.

“You’re going to take us back for them right fucking now.” Cato warns, dragging Plutarch by the throat, not even flinching for a second at the hands clawing at the bulk of his arm. “You’re going to turn this freak show the fuck around.”

“We can’t do that–” The man in Glimmer’s grasp gasps out, only resulting in her tightened grip on his flesh.

“Ohhhh we can do that.” Cato insists, a laugh that can only be described as unhinged slipping out from him. His other hand finds the top of Plutarch’s head, holding head cocked and ready to snap in an instant. “We’re going to do that.”

Glimmer flashes him a look, the look of a mad woman, not angry but mad in the way only a woman who has been ripped away from her loved ones, upended in a strange place far without her consent could be.  He knows, then, that if he makes the first move she will follow. If he flicks his wrist to decapitate someone internally she will dig her claw like nails into a neck and exsanguinate the man in her grasp.

They took them. They took them against any wish they might have had, and as a result left them looking guilty. They let them look like criminals themselves, like traitors, treasonous traitors.

It wasn’t even about the two of them now, though, no. They knew they wanted nothing to do with this.

It was for Clove, it was for Marvel, who would be seen as treasonous traitors, too. Suspected traitors who were left behind.

“You know the thing about us,” Glimmer purrs– no, not purrs, hisses like a snake in the grass, about to attack without more than a seconds notice– “Sure, you can keep knives or swords or spears away from us.. But we don’t need any of that.” She digs in and blood pools around the edges of her long nails, seeping out from the flesh of the other past victor. “Look at Cato. You think he needs a weapon to kill you? And God I know that i’ve been waiting years to tear a man’s throat open..”

“You do that and it’s a one way ticket to ensure you never see those other two again.” A new voice rings out, causing Cato and Glimmer both to snap their attention towards the shadowed doorway. Despite the intrusion Cato does not loosen his grip, Plutarch Heavensbee turning all shades of maroon and indigo in his chokehold.

“How did you make the cut?” Glimmer snarls, backing up so that her back was secure against a wall and she could not easily be snuck up on, those arena instincts still flooding through her circulatory system like a hunted animal (which, really, wasn’t she anyway). “Bribe them with a lifetime supply of scotch?”

Haymitch Abernathy comes into view, giving slow claps with his hands. “I knew you two would be trouble, believe me, I did not advocate for your rescue.”

“Oh, rescue, that’s what you call this?” Cato nearly growls, following Glimmer’s motion to protect his back from the unknown.

“Compared to the alternative, yes, this is a rescue. You’re welcome.” Haymitch glances between the two feral careers, who share pupils that are blown wide, dark and never ending as a product of their anxieties and adrenaline. “The smart thing to do here would be let them go..”

“The smart thing would have been taking all four of us-” Glimmer taunts, pressing in deeper with the tip of her french manicure, reveling in the choking sound coming from Beetee as a result.

“You especially should be thanking us Glitter-”

“That’s not my fucking name!”

“Whatever, Shimmer Sparkle Shine, the point stands that you should be thanking us. You don’t think your little commentary was going to have you on a hit list? If you had been left behind I can promise you’d be dead– or begging to be, soon.” Haymitch plays his luck, stepping closer to Glimmer than Cato, hands up in surrender and defense.

“So you left them, what, to punish us? So he can be killed in my place, for the crime of loving me after all they did?”

“There was no selection process, sweetheart. You two were simply closer to the one we wanted. We thought you’d be useful, and we brought you too.” Haymitch does not go to grab Glimmer– doing so would certainly be an act of war against what remained of this career alliance, and would without a doubt result in the death of the mastermind of the revolution at the hands of loose cannon Cato Hadley.

“The one you wanted, who’s–” Cato starts only to be interrupted again by the high pitch wails of a girl.

“You liar!” Katniss Everdeen screams, launching herself full force at her past mentor. While he catches her by the wrist the ensuing power struggle catches both Cato and Glimmer off guard.

For a minute it felt as if they were on the same team, and if she took out Haymitch Abernathy they could get the others. She has something in her hands, that she’s trying terribly hard to lodge into the neck of Haymitch, and he can’t help but think that if she had been one of them she’d have succeeded by now.  She could take Haymitch, Glimmer had Beetee, and Plutarch was as good as gone the minute he decided. They could do it.

She is screaming something absolutely incoherent, at least to Cato who feels like all of his senses are suddenly dull. This is not the instinct of a career in the arena, no. For a fleeting moment he wonders if this is how a prey animal feels, as every nerve in his body desperately screams for him to find Clove.

Clove.

Clove who is gone because of her.

“They left Peeta, too!” The blonde woman recognizes, piecing together phrases from the ensuing fight between Katniss and Haymitch, throwing back her head in an almost witch-like laugh, something more akin to a cackle than the high pitched sweetness she is so known for. “Of course they won’t go back for ours, they left Loverboy too! Come on Katniss, put on a good show for us, pretend you know how we feel!”

Katniss Everdeen and her stupid, unbelievable love story.  With her pins and her gifts and her outright disregard for all things Panem.

It was her fault, really.

Cato sees red. Red like the dress Clove wore when she won her first games, red like the wine the night before the quell, red like the shared favorite crimson hue of him and his wife, and above all else red like the blood he is going to choke out of the Girl on Fire’s eyes. Blinded by a sea of red behind his eyes, he tosses the game maker to the ground, ignoring the choking gasps he lets out. He can vaguely hear Glimmer frantically say ‘cato, no’ in the background, as she realizes he dropped the other major leverage they had.

His right hand wraps around the throat of Katniss Everdeen in an instant, lifting her light frame from the ground and slamming her skull against a metal beam directly behind Haymitch’s left shoulder.

“It’s all your fucking fault!” He absolutely snarls, dangling her a solid foot off the ground as he crushes his palm against her airway. “It’s all your fault, you couldn’t just fucking die. Or better, be a Victor and be grateful” Cato smacks her head off the wall again, feeling how her desperate claws at his hand are already getting weaker and weaker. “At the very fucking least, i’m not letting you slip away again, Fire girl.”

“Grateful? Kids are dying, people are dying! Open your eyes!” Haymitch defends, trying to wrench Cato off of her to no avail, waving someone over that Cato cannot identify from his peripheral vision. “Is this really the life you want?” Haymitch directs towards Glimmer this time, “I know you don’t want to continue on like you were, you know there’s nothing to be grateful for.”

The sudden grasp of a firm hand on his arm throws Cato off, and when he turns his upper body he is faced with the slightly smaller stature of some boy he’s never seen, who looks a little too much like Kantiss to not be related. She was the oldest sister that he knew, so a male cousin maybe?

“Get off of her,” The boy threatens, and he at least distracts Cato long enough that he loosens his grip so Katniss can fall and scamper off. She collapses to the floor, grasping at her neck and gasping for air. “Noone wanted you one and two psychopaths here anyway,”

“Gale that is enough,” Haymitch warns, stepping forward to evaluate Katniss as if she had not tried to claw his eyes out only moments prior. “You’re not helping by–”

“We’ve already got this capitol whore- everyone sees the way you show off.” He directed towards Glimmer with a half thought nod of his head. “I’m glad the little psycho bitch isn’t here too. She’d be a waste of valuable food and air, I hope they kill her for us–”

What happens next is a flurry of events, the order of which is lost on Cato and Glimmer both.

Cato’s fist makes contact with Gale Hawthorne’s nose with a satisfying crunch, and before he can get a retaliation shot in, a second fist comes in contact with Gale’s jawline. The blow takes him down, and when his head hits the concrete floor it makes a satisfying crack, the man entirely unconscious even as Cato goes in repeatedly with punches, over and over until even the sound of his breathing gurgles with blood. It vaguely reminds him of his win in his games, all those years ago, though the motivation is very different. While the last time he had wanted to go home to her– how he just wanted to punish everyone who left her behind.

Cato can vaguely hear Glimmer egging him on, cheering on him to kill the man, to make him pay, before the tone of her voice becomes a frantic, warning yell of “Cato watch OUT!”

Something pinches his arm and the world shifts into a blurry hue of bodies and metal. The last thing he sees is his favorite shade of blood– not of Katniss Everdeen, but of her kin nonetheless.

Cato’s world goes dark and when he hears a yelp from Glimmer he knows they’ve gotten her, too.

-

The first thing he notices is that he can’t move his hands. Well, not more than a few inches. The metal around both wrists secures him down, and when he tries to lift himself to a sitting position he realizes exactly how hard that is with his current restraints not only on his wrists but on his hips as well. His eyes fly open and he quickly absorbs the sterile white energy of the room, which is directly offset by the metal clanging on the bed. Somewhere between a hospital room and a jail cell, that's what this had to be.

The sound of scratching combined with the clanging metal tells him that, fuck, he isn’t alone. His senses must still be dulled if he didnt think to look for any other dangers in the room- clearly, whatever they gave them, worked its magic.

The scratching, though, is not the sound of a rodent working on a corpse or an animal scratching to escape, when he finally cranes his neck, he catches a familiar head with blonde pigtails.

Oh, it’s just Glimmer.

But it isn’t just Glimmer, happy, shining, golden girl Glimmer.

He’s a career, he’s seen plenty of horrific things in years of games reruns, he’s seen plenty of mutilation.

What Cato is not expecting is to see Glimmer cross legged in bed, hunched over with thick rivulets of blood streaming from open scratches along her forearms. What he is even more surprised to see, is the way she is repeatedly digging her nails into her own arms, over and over, heavy handed scratches adding to the gashes in her arm.

“What are you–” In horror, he starts, as for all he’s seen victors hurt each other, he’s never seen someone so blatantly hurt themselves.

“I can’t help it.” Glimmer half explains, scratching in her arms as if she has the most severe bug bite in the world, an itch so deep she has to carve it out from her very bones. “I can’t stop.”

Cato stares, eyes comically wide in horror at the absolute mutilation Glimmer works into her otherwise flawless skin.  “That has to hurt, Glimmer.”

“That’s the point.” She whispers, before grasping her bloodied wrist and using her own blood as enough lubrication to slip the offending metal ring over one wrist. “They usually get rid of the scars,” they being the Capitol and the source of her usual severe abuse and resulting anxieties. “I can’t help it..I can’t stop.”

Cato can’t tear his eyes away when she slips through the handcuffs, using her own blood as a mechanism to do so. “How are you–”

“You think this is the first time someone’s left me handcuffed in my own blood, Cato?” Glimmer reminds, before flinching and forcing the other one down over her wrist, immediately grasping at her dually freed wrists. “It hurts like hell, but it works.”

Glimmer hops off her bed, and Cato gets a good look at her for the first time since their ‘rescue’ from the Arena.

Her blonde hair is in the same half braid half ponytails as in the arena, but now frizzed and blood matted. The blood that runs from her arms is not confined to her hands, but instead covers the bed sheets and the skin of her face. She’s been changed into a gray cotton pajama-esk set that reminds Cato of something in a textbook about a psychiatric ward.  Even that is soaked through with deep maroon blood, making her look all the more like a walking corpse.  This is not the Glimmer the world knows, this desperate, bloodied girl. Of course, this may be the Glimmer plenty of capitolites have left behind.

Glimmer settles herself on the edge of the bed, and grabs him by the wrist, noting how her hand cannot even close all the way around. “Your hands are much bigger than mine, I'm not sure if it’ll work.” She warns, before she starts milking blood from her arm right onto his. “I know you aren’t afraid of a little blood on your hands.” She tells him before she braces his arm with one hand and the metal with the other. “I’m only trying once, you’re useless to us both if I break your wrist– actually, give me your non-dominant hand.” She braces the handcuff again and squints her eyes at him. “Don’t be a big baby–”

“Why would I be a- What the FUCK” Cato yells, trying to retract his hand so he can hold it to his chest. In a pleasant surprise, he realizes he can and that Glimmer successfully broke him out of the restraining item. “How did you–”

“LIke i said, not a stranger to handcuffs and blood.” She holds up her hands for him to give her the other, and with the same bracing strategy, she frees his other hand with less of a shock to his system.

Cato twists his freed hands, loosening the stiffened ligaments with loose circles of his wrist. “...what have they done to you, Glimmer?”

“Enough that I'd rather be dead than go back. I don’t know what the fuck is going on but.. I’m not sure they can do anything worse to me here.”

Cato’s chest tightens when the depth of that settles in. He gives a small nod but can’t stop the flurry in his mind. Clove is there. Clove is there. Clove is there.

“What the fuck’s happening?” He leans forward, loosening the leather around his ankles and realizing he is in the same psych ward uniform as Glimmer, now with matching blood stains. “Where are we?”

“District Thirteen is what I keep hearing.” She offers half heartedly, now finally wiping at the blood in her arms to try to make it stop now that she has no more use for it. “That can’t be right. But, I guess there's some big plan. Overthrow the government. My guess is firegirl is going to be their fearless leader. They were all in on it. Finnick..Jo..that's why they refused us, if I had to guess.”

He scoffs, remembering the frightened, screaming girl he had left gasping on the floor. “Yeah, she’s a great leader of the new world alright.” Cato swallows the stuck feeling in his throat, and he can’t resist any longer. “...and they’re left behind?” Cato confirms what they already know, reiterating Glimmer’s meltdown not long ago.

“And since we’re here..we may as well be Finnick or Katniss or Johanna, in their eyes…” Glimmer nods, holding her arms closer to her body to put pressure on her shredded veins. In barely above a whisper, and without raising her eyes to look at him, she allows herself to ask her biggest fear. “...do you think they’re alive?”

“Stop. They have to be.” Cato snaps, before ripping at the bed sheet underneath him, turning it into a long white strip. “We can’t say anything different. They have to be alive. We’re loved in the Captiol, we’re adored…they won’t hurt them. ”

“What do you think they’re doing to them, Cato, I know what they’ve done to me, and they loved me too–”

“Stop, Glimmer. All we can do is hope they are alive or they let them go. I gave my entire life to being the perfect victor, and the perfect tribute. That has to be worth something.” He takes the long cotton strip and rips it again in two, before taking Glimmer by the elbow and beginning to wrap down her arm. The White sheet turns scarlet in an instant, but the blood does not seem to continue to leak out.

“They might be better off dead. I wouldn’t wish what’s been done to me on anyone..” Glimmer admits, letting him pressure-wrap her arms before letting both fall to her lap, as she now sits cross legged on his bed. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, well, you helped me, I help you.” He rubs at the back of his neck with one hand, before glancing around the room. “They can’t be dead. We can’t think like that, because then what do we have? We just..have to go get them back and then we get the hell out of here and go home and show that we don’t support this–”

“I’m not sure we really have a home to go back to.” Glimmer admits, rocking just a little now that her arms are no longer scratchable. “I can’t go back to one, not after what I said.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong–”

“You don’t speak against the hand that feeds you, Cato, even if it’s also the one that beats you.” She blinks back something that can only be tears, as she looks up to the ceiling. “And maybe..maybe I don’t want to support the Capitol.”

Glimmer hears the door creak open, and both of them react like the wounded animals they are. Cato cracks his neck, primed and ready for a fight with clenched fists, while she uncurls her own hands to give her full use of her jagged nails.

“I was told you two were going to be restrained.” Haymitch announces, strutting into the room with his hands up in defense. “I just want to talk.” He waves off someone coming in behind him– guards, maybe? “Just the three of us.”

“Oh great, just who I want to see.” Glimmer scoffs, jumping onto her feet to run if she needed to, to climb, to hide.

“They wanted to send in Finnick, but he’s still recovering from Glimmer’s little antics.” Haymitch explains, sitting on Glimmer’s empty, bloodied bed. “Did you maim yourself?”

“What’s it matter to you?” Cato snaps, and if Glimmer weren’t between them, he’d likely lunge at this man, too. “Why would you care if she did,”

“Because, if you play along, we can all be on the same team here.” He offers, leaning back on his hands. “You remember all that stuff, Victors working together for each other–”

“Yeah, thats long over when you left my–”

“We work together now.” Haymitch interrupts Cato before it can become a whole outburst. “You two, Finnick, and Katniss are here. The majority of the work falls to Katniss, she’s who we need to lead this thing.”

“You want us to show our support for Everdeen?” Glimmer rolls her eyes, and takes a step towards Haymitch. “Go out there and say that we love this silly little revolution and guarantee that Marvel and Clove end up dead before the broadcast cuts? Are you stupid? Do you think WE are stupid?”

“We’re NEVER going to agree to–”

“Let me finish. You four are here. Johanna, Peeta, Clove, and Marvel got left behind. It wasn’t the plan. But that's what happened. The Capitol went into Four and got Annie Cresta too. All of you,  here, have the exact same thing on the line.”  Haymitch holds up a hand to prevent them from interrupting. “Before you ask, no. We do not know where Enobaria and Brutus and Cashmere and Gloss are. Cato, I looked into your sister, too, and as far as we can tell she is safe in two. So no. I can’t say if everyone you love is safe or not. But there is an opportunity here. There is a life after this war that you can have. Glimmer. You can avoid the horrible things they’ve done to you. You can have anything you ever wanted that I know you and your siblings have given up. Cato..well, I’m not sure a life without games appeals to you, but it will at least be a life with her.”

Glimmer falls into the bed, immediate guilt flooding her when she realizes she has not yet asked about her siblings. Cato must feel the same, for any sun bronzed skin of his face goes ghostly pale at the mention of his baby sister. Noone considered that they, too, could be in danger. Noone considered that the people back home would be hunted down, though Annie Cresta proves that to be the case indeed.

There’s something about it, though, for Glimmer. The thought, the offer, the chance, at a life after the games where no one can get to her again. She would be lying to say otherwise.

“My advice? Lay low. Stop going kamikaze on everyone you see. You aren’t going to be a symbol, no. That’s on Katniss. You two just..lay low. Stop losing your minds. The president down here doesn’t really want you here, but frankly, we are your best shot at getting Clove and Marvel home to you both. Lay low. Stop making a scene. Stick to yourselves.” Haymitch suggests, looking at the two bloodied victors, with bruising wrists and the look of murder in the back of their eyes. “And please, leave Katniss alone. She lost Peeta today, too.”

“Oh yeah, sure, and where is the actress of the year? Getting ready to start her mourning performance? Does she have a death veil on?” Glimmer snarks, but does not make any move to actually go at the elder man again.

“Katniss is in District Twelve–”

“Oh so she got to go home?” Cato starts, but is immediately cut off.

“There IS no District Twelve! It’s ash! It’s rubble. She’s walking over the bodies of the people she grew up with. This isn’t a little game, you two. This is a war now!”

An announcement overhead leaves Haymitch staring at two dumbstruck faces, a look of fear in both of their features. He gives a heavy sigh and stands. “I have to go, strategy meeting and all. But please. Heed my advice. Just..keep your heads down.”

He slips out the room without so much as a goodbye, leaving two terrified, dumbfounded victors in his wake.

Glimmer chokes out a response first, body frozen as she processes it all. “...they took out a whole district?”

“A lower level district–” Cato offers as a comfort, though he knows it is moot. One could go as easily as twelve, though maybe two was protected by the sheer value of their product, weaponry. Though maybe they were making human weapons, too, in the form of twelve year old killers.

“......what are we going to do, Cato?” Glimmer turns to him, tears shining in the brink of her spring colored eyes, looking a little bit like a spring storm forming within her.

“Whatever we have to. To keep them alive. To get them home.” He offers, though with the way his shoulders fall, it is not an easy decision on him. “We just get them home.”

He’s staring off, letting the reality of this day set in. A war. He got dragged into a war with Clove left on the other side. He’s brought back by a soft sniffle from Glimmer, and when he looks to her, he sees the tears streaming down her face.

“I miss him, Cato.” She cries out, before burying her eyes into her hands, the burning sting of tears in her wounds making her cry even harder.

“I miss her, too, Glimmer.” He agrees, and he looks away from her as he feels that rage mounting in his chest at her abandonment. He wasn’t good at playing fair, at playing along with what others wanted when it was outside the context of the games and training. Noone told him how to behave, how to act.

“I don’t want to do this without them.” Glimmer admits, pulling her knees up closer to her chest.

As much as Cato wants to offer words of rebuttal, that they will never have to do this without them, that they will be back together soon, he can’t bring himself to lie to her. To lie to himself.

He offers no words of comfort as the war outside the walls bleeds directly into their hearts.

[calmturquoise]

Having Fun

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and what have you! @ticklishraspberries, thanks so much for organizing Squealing Santa 2k17 - you’re the best! This is my fic for @tickletastic, who requested ticklish!Jonathan, sooo I went for some Jonathan/Steve/Nancy and tickle fights. Hope you enjoy!

Words: 1300

Jonathan raised an eyebrow when Steve arrived at Nancy’s house, dropping his bags down on the floor and stomping over to collapse on her bed. “You look…”

“Like shit,” Nancy supplied when Jonathan failed to finish his sentence. Jonathan snorted, and Steve groaned into Nancy’s pillow. “You better not be getting sweat and dirt all over my bed.”

“I took a shower before I got here. Baseball practice sucked,” he said, voice muffled by the pillow since he was entirely unwilling to sit up, or move, ever again. “And I didn’t get much sleep last night either, thanks to your dumb brothers and their dragon games.”

Despite not looking at either of them, he could practically feel Nancy’s eye roll and Jonathan’s smile. “Well, you’re the idiot that decided to play with them,” Jonathan said, and, well. Steve couldn’t argue with that. It really hadn’t been that bad, even if Max kept making fun of his D&D illiteracy, Mike and Jane didn’t stop making googly eyes at each other, and Dustin had spent nearly the entire time excitedly whispering all the rules and intricacies of gameplay into Steve’s ear. They were a bunch of shits, but for middle schoolers they weren’t the worst to hang out with.

Or Steve was just a loser. It really could be either.

“You have no one to blame for this but yourself,” Nancy said cheerfully. “But, because I’m an amazing girlfriend, I’ll make us some hot chocolate.”

“You’re the best,” Steve said. He felt the bed dip as Jonathan sat down next to him.

“Pick out a movie for when I get back,” Nancy said, before she left the bedroom and her footsteps faded as she walked down to the kitchen.

Steve turned his head to the side to look at the small collection of VHS tapes on Nancy’s bookshelf. “What do you want to watch?” he asked.

“Whatever,” Jonathan replied.

“Same.” Steve sighed and returned to his attempt to sink into Nancy’s bed. He heard Jonathan stifle a laugh.

“Want a back rub?” he offered.

“Yes,” Steve said instantly. “Oh my god yes, that sounds amazing.” At that, Jonathan did laugh, though Steve couldn’t find it in him to mind, especially when Jonathan’s hands started massaging out the knots in his shoulders and back, making Steve feel more relaxed than he had all day.

“How did you get this tense?” Jonathan wondered aloud as his fingers dug into Steve’s muscles.

“Hell if I know,” Steve said, still facedown on Nancy’s pillows. “Life is stressful.” And wasn’t that an understatement. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t been at least a bit stressed since… well, since way too long. Who would’ve figured living in Hawkins would be so exciting.

Lost in his thoughts and the comfy, hazy feeling settling over him thanks to the massage, Steve didn’t realize how close Jonathan’s fingers had gotten to his armpits until they squeezed in just the right spot to make Steve wiggle a bit.

Jonathan’s hands froze for a moment before repeating the motion. Steve couldn’t help his resulting twitch.

It wasn’t a second later that Jonathan’s fingers wormed their way under Steve’s arms and began to tickle him mercilessly. Much as he tried to resist, Steve couldn’t help the burst of laughter that fell from his lips.

It was definitely karma, or something. To be honest, Steve couldn’t say he was too surprised, not when he’d figured it was only a matter of time before Nancy or Jonathan found out he was ticklish. The thing was, Steve wasn’t nearly as ticklish as Jonathan, who was sensitive just about everywhere, nor was he very ticklish in obvious places like Nancy with her ribs or feet. However, he was definitely still ticklish and Jonathan was probably owed a bit of payback for the number of times Steve had tickled him.

But that didn’t mean Steve wasn’t going to fight back. Or at least try to, because he actually wasn’t in a great position to resist being tickled. “This isn’t fahahair!” he protested, trying to simultaneously keep his arms clamped to his sides, and reach behind his back to somehow push Jonathan away. The move was only successful in allowing Jonathan to fully stick both his hands under Steve’s arms and tickle him more.

“Why not?” Jonathan teased, wiggling his fingers. “I’m just helping you relax.”

“You cahahall this hehelping?” Steve exclaimed. He considered trying to roll over onto his back - it would make it easier to potentially tickle Jonathan, but it could also give him better access to Steve’s armpits, and with Jonathan pinning him down Steve wasn’t sure he could even manage it without sending them both off the bed. The decision was made for him when Jonathan’s fingers drilled into the sides of Steve’s ribs, right below his armpits, and then he wasn’t even sure he could move.

He heard the door open somewhere behind them, and Nancy’s snort as she took in their position. “Nahahancy, help me!” Steve immediately asked, not at all above begging when it came to certain tickle spots.

“I don’t know,” his girlfriend replied, sounding amused. “Are you sure you need help?”

“Of course not, he’s having fun,” Jonathan said. “You could come help me instead.”

“Nohohoho!”

“So many choices,” Nancy mused as she walked over to join them on the bed. “Well, it’s hardly fair that Steve should have all the fun.” To Steve’s mild surprise, he heard Jonathan’s laughter and felt the other boy’s fingers leave his back. Finally able to roll over, he turned around to see Nancy digging her fingers into Jonathan’s sides.

“You said you wehehere going to hehehelp me!” Jonathan protested. He briefly attempted to push Nancy’s hands away but seemed to realize it was futile after Steve joined in, and resorted to covering his face with his arms instead.

“I am helping,” Nancy said. “You were helping Steve have fun, and now we’re both helping you.” She looked over at Steve and gave him a wink, and Steve couldn’t help but respond with a grin. For all he might protest, they both knew Jonathan loved being tickled, which meant that ganging up on him really was fun for all three of them.

“Besides, you’re way more fun to tickle,” Steve added. “After all, you’re ticklish everywhere.” Leaving Nancy to tickle Jonathan’s sides, Steve’s hands roamed across his stomach and up to his ribs, eliciting a jolt and loud burst of laughter. “What, can’t handle a little tickling?” Steve teased.

“Lihihike you’re any behehetter!” Jonathan protested.

“Ooh, he’s got you there, Steve,” Nancy laughed. “Although,” she said, turning her attention back to Jonathan, “you are definitely much more ticklish than either of us.” She pushed up Jonathan’s shirt and wriggled her fingers over his stomach, then poked a finger into his navel and began swirling it around.

“Nohoho, Nahahancy!” Jonathan protested. It seemed like he had given up on struggling altogether, and was enduring their tickling with his hands clamped over his face, almost succeeding in hiding his flushed cheeks. Steve couldn’t get over how adorable it was, especially when he poked his fingers under Jonathan’s arms and got a snort of laughter in return.

“Guess you’re ticklish here too,” he teased.

“Plehehehease, it tihihickles too much!” Jonathan laughed, flinching at a sudden flurry of tickles from Nancy upon his stomach. His hands over his face weren’t enough to hide his wide smile, and Steve grinned.

“But we haven’t even gotten all of your worst spots yet!”

Steve looked to Nancy, who said, “Yeah, think of everywhere we’ve missed. Where should we try next?”

“Nohohowhehere!”

“Feet,” Nancy said, at the same time that Steve suggested, “Knees?” They paused and looked at each other.

“Both?”

“Both sounds good.”

“You’re the wohohorst!” Jonathan exclaimed, laughing uncontrollably as Steve and Nancy simultaneously launched tickle attacks on his knees and bare feet, respectively. Steve was sure that Jonathan would find a way to get him back again eventually - and Nancy, for that matter. But they could enjoy tickling their boyfriend while it lasted.

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 9}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: SURPRISE. Enjoy this chapter a day early. I had my days wrong and legit thought it was Thursday, but since it was ready…. Y’all get to enjoy the spoils of my frazzled brain. 😘

Nesta waited with Nyx in the waiting room of the pediatric office.

His rash didn’t seem to be bothering him much, but she wanted to get ahead of it before it became a problem. He was absolutely enamored with the TV playing a bright children’s show in the corner, and Nesta couldn’t help but smile down at him as she checked her email.

The usual stuff greeted her, some open catering order invoices for the restaurant, a few wayward resumes from high school kids that had managed to get her personal email, and, of course, spam.

“Nyx?”

Nesta’s head shot up, and Nyx began looking around, wondering who had called his name. Nesta was instantly on her feet, pushing Nyx’s stroller toward the door that the nurse held open.

She smiled. “Hello, Nyx.”

Nyx babbled in greeting.

The nurse chuckled. “Such a cute little guy. You’re Nesta, I assume?”

“I am,” Nesta confirmed. “I’ve not been here before. It’s a nice office.”

The small talk went on. Nesta had never been a fan of small talk, of polite pleasantries.

It just made her feel awkward.

Nyx didn’t seem to mind. He just kept babbling and babbling and babbling, without a care in the world.

The nurse led them into a room and she checked Nyx’s height and weight before telling them that the doctor would be there shortly.

Nesta had picked Nyx up, looking around at all the educational posters on the walls, when a quick knock sounded on the door and a man cracked open the door.

Nesta blinked once as he stepped inside, not expecting the tall, muscled man that appeared in front of her.

“You must be Nesta,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Dr. Kamaras.”

This man was Nyx’s pediatrician? She had known that Nyx’s doctor was male, Feyre had mentioned him in some stories a few times, but Nesta had always pictured an elderly man.

Not this sculpted, handsome man, who could easily graced the cover of one of the ridiculous smutty books she kept well hidden in her bedroom.

She shook his hand, finally remembering how to speak. “Yes, I am, it’s nice to meet you.”

Very nice to meet you, she added in her head.

His face sombered. “I was very sorry to hear about Rhys and Feyre. They were great people.”

And just like that, Nesta was back on earth, holding her sister’s son in her arms, standing where her sister should have been. She tried to keep her smiling from dimming, but she cleared her throat. “Thank you. It’s…been an adjustment.”

As if they both remembered why they were here, Dr. Karamas blinked and said, “Yes, Nyx, right. You told the nurse he has a rash of some sort?”

“It’s just a diaper rash but it seems to be getting infected,” Nesta explained. “I’ve tried a few different things but nothing seems to be working.”

“Ah,” he said, nodding. “Well, let’s take a look.”

Dr. Karamas took one glance and whistled. “Definitely infected. I’m going to give you a steroid cream. Put it on after every diaper change. It should clear up within the week.”

Nesta let loose a breath. “Oh, great, thank you.”

“Absolutely,” he smiled.

He had a nice smile.

He scribbled something down on his clipboard, signed it, and handed it to Nesta. “The number on the bottom is my office number. If you have any other concerns, no matter how small, give it a call.”

Nesta looked at Nyx’s prescription and the number that was beneath it, along with his name.

Balthazar Karamas.

“Thank you, Dr. Karamas,” Nesta said, and she meant it. She was still new at this, and every little medical thing concerned her.

If it wasn’t normal, she was freaking the fuck out.

“Bal, please,” he said, taking her hand again, shaking it. At the look on her face, he added, “I work with kids. They do better on a familiar name basis than with titles like doctor and mister.”

She nodded, smiling. “Bal, then.”

Nesta was getting Nyx resituated in his stroller in the waiting room, about to head back out into the bright sunlight, when she felt someone approach. She wasn’t expecting to find Balthazar standing a few feet away. She quickly checked the stroller, making sure she had her purse, the diaper bag, and, of course, Nyx himself. “Did I forget something?” She asked, finding everything exactly where it was supposed to be.

“No, no, it’s not that,” he said, pausing in front of her. “I just…can’t shake the feeling that I know you from somewhere.”

It was strange, since Nesta felt the same way.

“You’re not Illyrian,” he said, and it wasn’t a question, nor was it rude. Just an assumption. She only knew of a few other Illyrians in the area, and Balthazar definitely had the same coloring as Cassian and Az. And Rhys used to have. She, pale skinned and blue eyed, certainly did not.

“I’m not,” she said, at last.

Bal chuckled.

That smile, yet again, had her toes curling.

“Interesting,” he said, that smile remaining. “Well, maybe we can figure out just where we’ve run into each other before...over lunch this weekend?”

Nesta blinked. A date?

“Not a date,” he said, quickly, reading her mind. “I would never ask the aunt of my patient on a date. That would be incredibly unprofessional.” Nesta laughed. “Just…two acquaintances figuring out where they were previously acquainted.”

“Lunch sounds nice,” Nesta said, unable to shake her own smile. “Saturday, then?”

“Saturday,” Bal agreed.

They set up a time and place and then Nesta was out the door.

*

Cassian’s day had been as long as it was the day before. It seemed that the teenagers visiting Velaris had gotten the message from their friends that Cassian’s bar was checking every single ID of every single drink that was ordered. So instead of being slammed and busy and frustrated the whole day, he had been bored out of his mind.

He’d gone through his inventory sheets twice, ordering anything they might remotely run out of in the next few weeks.

It didn’t help that Kallias had the day off, covering the evening shift tonight, leaving him alone with his thoughts all day.

And those thoughts constantly reminded him that he’d been an absolute dick to Nesta the night before.

As he drove home, he contemplated the apology he needed to make.

Although Cassian believed his intentions were typically good, apologizing wasn’t one of his strengths. He ran through what he’d say a hundred times, had come up with an unbearable amount of ways in which he could apologize, but everything he thought of wasn’t good enough.

He knew Nesta well enough to know when she would laugh in his face.

He’d come up with about fifteen different scenarios of how this could go by the time he pulled into the driveway, parking next to her little car. He took a deep breath before unlocking the front door and letting himself in.

The house was quiet, neither Nesta or Nyx were anywhere to be found. It was barely six-thirty, but he knew Nesta was taking Nyx to the doctor earlier in the day, which may have tired him out so thoroughly that he was already down for the night. A peek into his cracked bedroom door confirmed it, his little hand curled next his face as he slept.

When he finally tracked down Nesta, on the back patio, her feet propped up in a lounge chair, he definitely hadn’t expected to find her with a bottle of wine. Or what was left of it, at least.

The mostly empty bottle of wine sat next to the baby monitor.

He cleared his throat, announcing his presence.

Nesta’s sigh was the only acknowledgement she showed.

“Everything alright?” He asked.

She shrugged and took a sip from her glass.

“Bad day?” He continued.

She shrugged again.

“Is this the silent treatment?” He asked.

“I assume you’d know,” she said.

Cassian began rubbing his temples. “Look, Nesta-.”

“I’m a little busy if you don’t mind,” she continued. “I prefer to relax alone.”

“This is my house, too,” he said, shutting the sliding door behind him as he made his way onto the patio. “What if I want to sit out here with you?”

“Then I’d suggest continuing the silence,” she said, not looking at him, her face tilting back up to the sky, where it had been when he’d come outside.

So he sat down on a nearby lounge chair, and didn’t say a word.

Or he tried, but he didn’t last five minutes. The words that had building inside him all day needed to come out. He’d rehearsed different things he wanted to say, with reasons for why he was such an asshole, and promises to try and be better from now on. But as he looked over at her, the starlight on her face, all he could get out was, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Nesta said nothing. “About?”

“The way I acted last night,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the lawn. “It was uncalled for, and I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, draining her glass.

Cassian’s eyes shot her direction. “I’m trying to apologize. You can at least accept my apology so we can move on.”

“Apologies mean nothing,” Nesta said, shrugging. “Words are meaningless.”

“Not mine,” Cassian argued. “I mean what I say.”

“Then you meant what you said last night?” Nesta pushed.

Cassian’s lips snapped shut and his jaw hardened. “No.”

“So, you’re a liar, then?” Nesta asked.

He groaned in frustration. “You’re infuriating.”

She didn’t deign to reply to that.

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I was an asshole last night. I was…embarrassed about how you found me the night before. I don’t… I don’t like to be seen like that.” He paused, but then he held a hand out in between them. “Not- not that that happens often. I mean, I don’t make a habit of having emotional breakdowns.”

She didn’t say anything. Just stared at him.

He cleared his throat again, remembering little things he had felt badly about through the day. “Nesta, I’m sorry I acted like an ass. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate the dinner you made me. I was rude as hell and you did nothing to deserve it.”

After a second, she glanced away, out over the pool. He figured she wasn’t going to reply, and he stood, heading back for the back door.

He had slid the door open and was halfway inside when she said, “If you’re hungry, I made lasagna for dinner. It should still be warm on the stove.”

He turned back and found a hint of a smile on her face. “Thanks, Nes.”

*

A continuation of his apology, Cassian had told Nesta he'd be on baby duty for the rest of the night, waking Nyx up for his bottle, granting her leave to do whatever she wanted. She elected to finish off the bottle of wine, open another, and relax in the bathtub with a book.

The book of choice was definitely not appropriate to read in front of Nyx.

Or Cassian, for that matter.

She had appreciated his apology, even though a part of her still wanted to be pissed. There were very few things that agitated her more than male bravado, and Cassian was the spitting image of it. Embarrassed because he was emotional? Please. Get the fuck over it.

Then again, she could say that all day, but in honesty, if the positions were reversed, she would have reacted very, very similarly.

If not worse.

Nesta had always felt too much, far more than either of her sisters. It wasn’t like they were robots, of course. Elain had a bigger heart than anyone Nesta had ever known, and Feyre had been a light to be around.

But, Nesta…

She felt it all, and she felt it far too deeply. She had learned long ago to shut those emotions off, to let them go, to not let her emotions show. They could just be used as a weakness.

And she found life worked better that way.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

Nesta sat up straight, even though the door was locked, in a sudden panic over the fact that she was nude and reading smut.

“Yeah?”

“Nyx is going to bed,” he said. “Just thought you’d want to say goodnight.”

“I- Ah- Just a minute,” she called, setting the book down and reaching down to grab for her towel. She was out and damn near opened the door in just her towel again, but remembered their agreed upon rules. She snatched her robe, wrapping it around herself, towel and all.

She opened the door, Cassian standing just by her bed, and Nyx had his head resting on his shoulder, rubbing his little eyes.

The image was so pure and innocent that Nesta couldn’t stop herself from taking a few steps towards them, reaching out to brush her fingers down Nyx’s soft cheek. “Sweet dreams, buddy,” she breathed, leaning up to press a kiss to his forehead.

She regretted it almost immediately, as bringing herself that close in Nyx also inadvertently brought her to Cassian. His heady, nutmeg-and-campfire scent enveloping her, reminding her of the morning she’d come downstairs and found him as naked as she was now. She stepped back quickly, clearing her throat. “And goodnight to you, Cassian,” she murmured. She pointed back behind her towards the bathtub, towards her book, and said, “I’m going to read a little longer and then go to bed myself.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Nes.”

The nickname didn’t bother her as much as it previously had, she realized as he made his way back out of her room, shutting the door behind him.

She didn’t let herself think about that, did her best not to think about him, as she sunk back into the warm water.

*

Nyx had gone down easily for Cassian, for the first time ever, thanks to the frozen toy he’d gnawed on to relieve the pain of his incoming tooth. He’d decided he deserved a treat, too, after that, and had sat down to watch the hockey game, a beer in hand.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the front door.

Cassian paused, glancing down at his watch, seeing that it was pushing nine o’clock. He stood, after a second knock sounded, making his way to the door. He opened it to find a woman dressed in a suit on the other side. “Can I help you?”

“Mr. Nazari, I assume?” She asked, extending her hand.

He took it, on instinct, shaking it, but he blinked. He repeated, “Yeah… Can I help you?”

Her brows twitched together. “My name is Alis Birch. I’m with social services.”

Cassian continued to shake her hand, staring.

“The courts told you we’d be making random visits to check in on Nyx,” she continued.

Oh, fuck, Cassian thought. Oh, fucking hell.

They’d completely forgotten about those random visits, in the past few weeks they’d been doing this, distracted by getting used to not only being parents, but getting used to each other as well.

“I see,” Cassian said, nodding. “I… I’ll…be right back.”

“I’d like to come in-.”

Cassian shut the door, quickly set his beer on the table in the entryway, and hauled ass upstairs.

He threw open the door to Nesta’s bedroom, only to found it empty, so he continued on, throwing open the bathroom door.

Where Nesta was still in the tub, completely nude, a book in hand, one hand disappeared beneath the water. Her head was thrown back in utter ecstasy.

Until Cassian barged in, anyway.

“Shit!” he yelled, just as Nesta gasped and sent the water sloshing out of the tub, over the porcelain edges.

Cassian quickly shut the door behind him, closing them into the bathroom together, and put his face in his hands. “Sorry!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she yelled, and he could hear her pulling the plug.

“It’s important, I swear,” he said, his voice muffled by his hands.

“If the house isn’t on fire or Nyx isn’t dying, it’s not important,” she cried, ducking behind the walls of the tub.

“It’s pretty fucking important,” he said, turning to give her a semblance of privacy. He heard her stand up, water moving and quiet dripping, before her feet landed on the rug outside the tub. “The social worker is here.”

She froze and he dared a look back at her. Thankfully, she was wrapped in her towel again, one arm pushed through her robe. “The social worker is here? Now?” He nodded, and she looked at the nearly empty bottle of wine next to the glass on the small table by the tub. It was the second one she’d had that night. “But it’s late,” she protested.

“It’s a random, surprise visit,” he replied. “I left her outside, but-.”

“You didn’t let her in?” Nesta demanded, eyes widening. “Cauldron, Cass, that makes us look so guilty.”

He blinked. “Of what?”

“I don’t know,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “But it doesn’t make us look good.”

“Well, I didn’t know what to do,” he sighed, exasperatedly. “I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to come up here and find you doing that.” He gestured to the tub.

Nesta’s cheeks heated. He figured his own were going to permanently be the shade of red they were now.

No, that was the last thing he ever expected to catch Nesta doing.

“Just… Go let her in and stall her while I get dressed,” she sighed, crossing her arms, waiting for him to leave.

Cassian hesitated, then nodded, and hurried back down the stairs. When he reopened the front door, Alis Birch stood there. Her expression was hard, intimidating.

Cassian could feel himself sweat.

He prayed that Nesta somehow sobered up and got the fuck downstairs, because there was no way in hell he could do this without her.

[sunjaesol]

“The simple act of being in love with you is enough for me.”

jiara | post-s2 | pining idiots | title: quote by Pacey from Dawson's Creek

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“Kie.”

“Hm?” The girl’s mop of curls obscured her face as she mumbled out some vowels, clearly still buzzed from the night before. An amused smile ticked up his lips and slapped her calf again. She sighed. “What?”

“Leggo,” he pushed, “we gotta get to Pope’s place.”

“Why?”

Even if everyone else would deny it, JJ swore Kie was as bad as he was: slow and fucking lethargic before eleven in the morning. Sure, she had better grades in school, but he wasn’t gonna give her more credit than that. Speaking of, “Helping him with that new scholarship, remember?”

The girl groaned and rolled over to face him, droopy eyes cracking open to scowl at him. She slept where he used to crash whenever his dad’s place became too much, but since the old man fucked off to Yucatán, he found peace in the quiet walls and cracked windows. Regardless, it was weird seeing her sprawled on this mattress, the boy almost able to envision himself beside her. A dangerous fantasy to linger on, so he pushed it aside and kept on trucking.

“C’mon, Kie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered and sat upright. “How did you even get in the Château?”

JJ grinned and snagged a key chain from his shorts. “Spare key. Duh.”

She rolled her eyes, uttering, “John B’s stupid,” and then pushed him out the guest room, telling him she’d get ready. His mouth opened to make the joke if he couldn’t stay and watch, but the door slammed in his face and that was that.

Having a crush on Kiara was the freakiest thing ever. First of all, JJ and emotions didn’t mesh well — it only led to trouble, a perfect example being his dad and him with the most fucked up dynamic to boot. He preferred to not even think about the man, though one glance in the mirror often betrayed his mind and brought a rush of memories to the forefront, whether it was a shiner against his eye, or the fact that he resembled his father when he was young.

So yeah, he didn’t like anything ‘love’ related. It was stupid. It was more reckless than buying a jacuzzi or trying to steal a golden cross from a boat with dozens of armed men. Friendship, however, was easy. He told the Pogues just that: they were ‘it’ for him, he’d go through fire for them, through hell and fucking back.

But he didn’t think he’d actually die for them, which almost happened when he tried saving Kie on the Coastal Venture — to which she ended up saving him. (A vision illuminated by a golden sun, hovering over him. He’d never forget it.)

While he inspected the contents of the fridge, embarrassingly filled with only beer, eggs, milk and junk food, the door creaked open and revealed a dressed and less-wrecked Kiara. His gaze flicked up and down her frame, quick, and then averted it back to the fridge.

“You got no food, man.”

She chuckled. “I know. It’s not exactly The Wreck type of food…”

“You haven’t gone back?”

“Nope,” she replied, curt, and moved past him to shove a container of sausages aside to grab a bottle of almond milk. Even if she wasn’t with her parents, she still somehow kept up her ‘no dairy’ principles.

Also, Kiara was hella beautiful. He hadn’t let it register when she walked in, but it was true. Her soft-looking, shiny skin, sporting the prettiest smile in all of the OBX, and she was just hot. Especially when she propped herself on the kitchen counter, to which he settled beside her to not look at her legs.

“How many scholarships are there?” she asked. “Like, I’m obviously proud of him, but…”

“He told us last night,” JJ laughed. “You were that fucking high?”

She giggled, “Yeah! You were there, I was just on my ass.” And then, quieter, “And… I don’t know, I guess I’ve been kind of distracted.”

He perked up, surprised. Though the Pogues were family, openly talking about emotions when it wasn’t prompted by anything, remained rare. They were better at talking shit and smoking and napping on boats. Whatever, he took the bait.

“Why?”

She shook her head. “It’s stupid, JJ.”

“Kie, you’re talking to me,” he nudged her shoulder, “throw me a bone here. Is it Pope? You got the hots for our favourite nerd again?”

Taking a sip from the bottle, her brow quirked up as though that was the stupidest thing he ever said, and retorted with, “Why’re you always doing that?”

His hands raised instantly, defensive. “Doing what?”

“You’re always digging, like, when I was with Pope you got all weird.”

“I don’t dig.”

“You do.”

“I don’t. Kie, what’s up?” He kept it moving before she found the core of his problem, and bounced back to the original issue. “Before I start saying shit to Pope.”

She scoffed. “You're full of shit.”

“Oh, Kie,” he drawled with a smirk. “You can do better than that.”

Silence fell. He waited, fiddling with his fingers, and quietly hoped Pope wouldn't be too annoyed when they arrived late — then again, they were begrudgingly coined 'tortoise and tortoise' by the group anyway.

She placed the bottle back in the fridge and sent him a rueful smile, one he often saw her showing Sarah before they went aside and had a private talk. Their eyes locked and she finally spoke.

“Sometimes, I… I miss my parents. And it's like, I don't get how they don't just accept that I'm a Pogue, that I'm friends with you guys, you know? But I still miss them.” She looked down at her feet, crossing at the ankles like a little girl waiting to be reprimanded by the teacher. “I miss my dad's hugs.”

Instantly, his arm swung around her for a gentle side hug, a grateful smile pulling on her lips as she leaned into him. Both knew they should savour a moment like this, as hugging with a twitchy JJ and often irritated Kie happened once every blue moon.

Ignoring the guilty look in her eye — yeah, he didn't understand missing a paternal embrace, rather used to a blow in the stomach or a crude remark, but that didn't mean he lacked empathy — he resisted the urge to encourage her to reconnect with them. Knowing her, she'd just close up and glare at him for the rest of the day.

So no, he wasn't going to ask her. And no, she shouldn't feel guilty. P4L 'til the end, baby.

“Thanks, JJ,” she whispered.

He snickered and pushed her off. “You can't tell the guys I'm becoming soft, dude. Theyʼll give me so much shit for it.”

“They know you're soft,” she teased, “don't even try.”

“I'm tough,” he tried.

“Like Play-Doh.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled and motioned at the kitchen door. “Let's go, Carrera. Before John B and Sarah come back and act all married.”

Now that was fucking annoying. After John B and Sarah faked their death, they got married by a bandana strip and hadn't let that notion go after returning. Sure, there was that small blip when they were fighting the crazy religious chick, but that was old news.

John B made him swear he wouldn't tell a soul, but the guy waxed poetry about Sarah whenever they were drunk and alone. It was hilariously sad. Another man lost to a girl.

(“She wants a beach wedding,” JB sighed a couple nights ago. “Nice, right?”

“I– yeah, I really don't care about this, man.”)

JJ knew that when he got a girlfriend (Kiara unintentionally but also very intentionally crossed his mind), he'd act normal. No mushy shit. No poetry. Definitely no creepy Romeo and Juliet references thrown in as if that shouldn't freak the Pogues out. Their behaviour better not be infectious.

Expectedly, Pope's scowl reached them all the way from the car, Kie and JJ sharing a sheepish look before stepping out.

“Gee, guys,” the boy deadpanned, “thanks for making haste. Really appreciate it.”

JJ's wide grin hoped to salvage it. Slapping his friend on the shoulder, he pushed past him and yelled, “Kie was dead, dude!”

Pope grimaced. “Don't joke about that.”

He watched as Kie stopped beside Pope with an apologetic expression, telling him she overslept and was sorry and that he knew how JJ was — “Always joking.”

His chapped lips pursed, a familiar punch hitting his chest with him then pretending it didn't hurt. She always did this. Even if she claimed she didn't, she always took Pope's side. Relationship or not. JJ knew she didn't owe him her 'side', but it'd be a nice change of pace either way.

Whatever. This wasn't the JJ Pining For Kiara Show. Pope needed their help.

A state-wide scholarship competition gave Pope another shot at winning a huge chunk of money (no gold type of rich though) and getting his ass out of OBX, hopefully launching himself into some fancy college when he revealed to be of Denmark Tanny's lineage. Those hibrow assholes loved a good sob story.

All Pope had to do was score hella high on some test — easy — and impress the panel — not so easy — and he'd be the luckiest Pogue of all.

But that did mean Kie and him had to sit on his creaky bed with a freaky amount of flashcards while a stressed out Pope paced around his room. He was pretty sure the floor was eroding.

Also, he had no fucking clue what any of the flashcards meant. Did Pope's smarts really attracted Kie that much? Was it the brain? Brain over brawl? But where was the fun in that? JJ loved Pope to death, but the guy had to be fully medicated or high before his brain shut off and he acted carefree.

“Pope, do you even know what this all means?” Kie bemoaned, flipping the cards around.

“You got a dictionary somewhere?” added JJ, squinting at the word aberration. It sounded like some weird disease. He showed him the word.

Pope dismissed it. “It means: different from the norm.”

“Dude, why not write that then?”

“Because they want aberration.”

He didn't get it. “No one uses it though.”

“JJ, that's just the way it is,” Pope pressed.

“Guys, stop,” Kiara interrupted. “But honestly Pope, it's so, like, elitist. None of these questions are important to the world, or the well-being of the people.”

“Sorry, Kiara, but unfortunately not everyone cares that much,” he sighed. JJ could tell they were starting to annoy their friend, their tortoise bullshit bleeding through.

Her nose scrunched up, peeved. “Right. Because there's a planet B just waiting to be used by us. Duh.”

“Ooh,” JJ drawled, nudging her arm. “Are there donkeys shitting money?”

Kie laughed. “Yes. All beaches, clean air, no Kooks, and money-shitting donkeys.”

“Nah, I want it to be hella Kooky,” he joked, gesturing wildly. “I want a yacht and tell people someone else does my laundry, or something.”

“You don't even do your laundry anyway,” she bounced back with a roll of the eye. “I know you force John B.”

“He's already playing House with Sarah, might as well wash my underwear, too.”

Oh, man. He could do this all day. Talking shit with Kiara went as smooth as fishing for him. Each time he thought he one-upped her, she threw more on top and kept it going 'til neither knew what the point even was anymore. Sarah dubbed it as 'banter' which he believed was a rich way of saying 'talking smack.'

“I don't believe you even know how to do it,” she challenged.

JJ huffed and crossed his arms. “I can do it.”

A smirk bloomed on her lips as she kept jabbing. “It's kinda cute, how you need John B to be your mom.”

“I don't.”

“You literally said it five seconds ago.”

“Guys,” Pope groaned, followed by an exhausted sigh eerily similar to Heyward. “Can we get back to the flashcards?”

Kie and JJ were too far into their discussion though, jabbing at each other at rapid speed. Then she threw her cards at him and all bets were off. He yelled she should make a goal with her hands, to which he folded up a flashcard and shot it straight between her fingers.

And that was when Pope kicked them out. JJ presumed it was a victory they lasted as long as they did. Kie kept apologising over her shoulder, prompting Pope to ask Cleo for help instead.

For a beat, they were silent stepping out of his place and back into the car. JJ felt a stab of guilt for fucking up Pope's study time, but it was hard to dial his brain to school when his friends surrounded him. Just when he wanted to ask if she felt bad too, she went off about the climate — as usual.

“It's so dumb how there were no questions about the environment or human rights or, or anything like that! It's all science and lit, like, there's more to life than fucking chemistry formulas!”

“I skipped those cards. Didn't get them.”

“It's so fucked,” she hummed. “And I'm obviously glad that you drove to the Château to wake me up and all—”

“Yeah?”

“—but I really wish those questions would matter. We almost died, JJ!”

“No, shit,” he grumbled, quickly starting to lose his patience with the ranting girl. She didn't even realise what the fuck she was saying anymore — what she did to his heart, skipping like some elemtary school girl on the playground, when she slipped some nice words in.

“Died!” she pressed. “Why even care about stuff like that?”

“Fucks sake, Kie—”

“And I didn't want to say it, but did you see how many flashcards there were? How many trees were cut for that? It's like, hello, Quizlet exists!”

“Kie, shut up!” he yelled.

Her mouth fell slack, gobsmacked, gawking at him like his interruption was a slap in the face.

Gesturing wildly with one hand, he exclaimed, “You know, you can just go on and on and I hear you talking and it's like, yeah, we get it, Mother Earth needs to be saved, we're fucked, you don't gotta repeat it twenty-four seven.”

“What the hell, JJ!”

“You have an opinion about everything! A man gets tired!”

“A man?” She scoffed. “You're not even eighteen.”

“Point is you don't gotta act all preachy all the time.” He turned the corner, hands tightening around the steering wheel.

Kie scowled. “Where is this coming from? I'm not preachy, I'm educating you.”

Now that was just fucking with his head. Incredulous, he exclaimed, “You think I don't listen? Kie, I'm the only one that does. JB is on Planet Sarah all the damn time and Pope only did shit 'cause—"

"That!” she yelled, throwing her hands up with frustration. “That's what I mean! You're doing it again! You dig!”

“What?!”

“Every time you mention Pope and I, you dig. You needle!” Twisting in her seat, his gaze flickered to catch her disgruntled expression. “Why do you do that? It's so… sus.”

JJ laughed. “Sus?”

“You don't ask John B about Sarah.”

“'Cause they're fucking obvious.”

“Still,” she pressed. “Did I do something to piss you off? Is that it? Is it me constantly asking you to recycle and yet — shocker! — you never do?!”

“Fucking God,” he grumbled under his breath.

With frazzled thoughts and shaking hands, adrenaline coursed through him as he swerved to the side of the road and stopped the car. If he fought with Kie any longer to this degree of fuckery, they were gonna crash.

She frowned. “What're you doing?”

“You, Carrera, are driving me insane,” he deadpanned, matter-of-fact. Then he slammed the door open and stepped out, desperate to catch his breath.

In the back of his mind, he had an inkling as to why he was so keyed up. Kiara would call him a Neandethal, but fuck it, here was the truth: Kiara was hot as hell when she argued with him.

Following his lead, she got out, her sneakers stomping against the asphalt. The sun steeped low on the horizon, the light hitting the hood and reflecting onto her face; her curls shifting from dark brown to gold. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was so fucked. He almost missed the start of her spiel, too enthralled.

“I'm driving you insane? I'm always getting you out of trouble, because you never think things through! You never see the bigger picture!”

He rolled his eyes. “Bigger picture? The only thing I see, Kie, is you going on about nature. That easy.” And then, before he could stop himself, he spewed out, “And you don't have to do that.”

“What?”

“Getting me out of trouble,” he said, pursing his lips. “That's not your responsibility.”

“Right. Duh. Because after everything we've been through, I can't care about you,” she exclaimed, face twisting up in pure fury. She got in his space, shoving his shoulder, but when he didn't budge, it only seemed to anger her more.

JJ didn't know what was going on anymore. Why was she so mad? Even if she didn't want to admit it, he was telling the truth. Of course all the Pogues had each other's back, but Kiara doted over him more than was necessary. The constant checking of injuries, limiting his day drinking, all that. Like he was some child!

He leaned in and mumbled, “I can take care of myself.”

Kie smirked. “Then do your own laundry.”

It happened naturally. One second he stared at her furious eyes and thought about how much he loved arguing with her despite the bullshit, the next his fingers curled into her hair and pulled her in a fierce kiss.

At first, her hands laid frozen on his shoulders, surprised, but the moment he realised his impulsive decision was a mistake, they slid around his neck and kept him close.

JJ sighed in relief and deepened the kiss he'd been craving ever since they were fourteen and Kie went from gangly to statuesque. Her lips were warm and soft and her hands were soft and she hadn't let go and holy shit — he was kissing Kiara Carrera.

The kiss lessened when her mouth quirked into a smile, their grins pressing flush together, and JJ shivered from delight. Oh, man. He was gone.

“You drive me damn crazy, Kie,” he murmured, voice dropped to an undeniably soft tone.

She bit back her silly grin and whispered, “Good.”

Taking a deep breath, he tried focusing up, but all he could do was stare at her face. A shy hand grabbed hers.

He had to get it out of the way now, or else he'd kick himself later. “I'm… really into you. I'm– oh, fuck, uh–”

“Maybe we can talk about it not on the side of the road?” she suggested, amused.

JJ grinned, elated (What was the word he saw on the flashcards? Exalted!), and kissed her again, because he could.

On the ride back to the Château, he confessed to seeing her in a different light for years, while she couldn't really pinpoint a time or moment, that it just happened. It didn't matter, though he was in utter disbelief that he and Kie were having this conversation. No jokes, no BS, all seriousness. Tomorrow, he'd wake up and it wouldn't be some sick dream. Kie liked him back.

JJ was sure he'd doubt himself or overthink it in the future, but today, he'd bask in the certainty and the major ego boost.

“Okay, but did you ever legit like Pope then?”

A sheepish smile crawled up her cheeks as her gaze averted to the window. “I thought I did. But we have, like, no chemistry, so…” She shook her head. “I was confused.”

“That's okay,” he uttered. He couldn't give her shit for it. Even if he did torture himself with their short-lived relationship, he understood.

How would he react though? John B and Sarah wouldn't care, or Cleo, but Pope? He didn't want one of his brothers hating him. Being iced out by the guy fucking sucked, as it meant he was truly hurt and therefore meant JJ truly fucked up. He couldn't handle disappointing him.

Kie read his mind. “He'll be fine with it.”

“I dunno, man…”

“He will,” she repeated. “We're Pogues. We've all narrowly survived death. And besides…” She turned back to him with a secretive grin. “I think he has a thing for Cleo.”

Whoa. He did not see that coming. His brows shot up to his hairline, mentally kicking himself for being so focused on Kie that he didn't even notice the shift of interest between Pope and Cleo. They made sense, too. Know-it-all's, but well-meaning, and only speaking when needed.

If the idea didn't relief him of worries, he'd be concerned as to why they were all seamlessly coupled up like in some 90s sitcom Big John had on VHS.

“What a player,” he joked.

“Tell me about it.”

They arrived at the house, the Twinkie and Sarah's bike sprawled on the overgrown front lawn. JJ frowned. He had hoped to have some alone time with Kie, not to jump her bones and fulfill a regular dream of his, but to talk. To figure it out. He wanted to do this right. Because after everything, they deserved to have good things, to start on a high note — he deserved it.

Kie noticed it, too. Puckering her lips on contemplation, her gaze trailed from him to the rest of the property, ending on the trusty ol' hammock. She jabbed her thumb at it.

“Let's sit there.”

Normally, they laid on opposite ends on the hammock, if they even shared one to begin with. But now, she pressed herself right beside him and he felt like heaven dropped down on them in the best way possible. He suddenly understood what John B was lamenting about — the company, intimacy, the ease. Nerves rippled through his body like a summer storm, but he figured that was what it cost to lose one's mind over a girl.

He didn't know what to say, so Kiara spoke instead.

“I don't want us, the way we are around each other, to change, you know?” she said. “Like, I don't want you to think you have to act like some mellow ass boyfriend all of a sudden.”

He smirked. “Who said anything about boyfriend?”

“Bye.”

“Hey, wait,” he grinned, latching onto her arm before she pushed herself out. “C'mon, Kie.”

Her nose scrunched up. “I don't do this usually, okay?”

“You think I do?” he asked. His hand softly slid down to wrap around hers, to which she hooked their fingers together. Okay. Wow. It felt so damn nice that it propelled him to say, “I wanna be your boyfriend, Kie.”

The girl smiled and then surprised him by leaning in herself, pressing a gentle kiss on his chapped lips. It was overwhelming having her instigate it, his gut twisting up in excitement like when he was about to backflip from a boat, or cliff dive, or something similar like that.

He let go of her hand to cup her cheeks, only to whisper, “That's a yes, yeah? Gotta get a yes.”

“Yes, JJ,” she uttered back. “Here's to not fucking this up.”

“Cheers, baby.”

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[therapyforrent]

The Type of Boyfriends They Are/Relationship Headcanons

Pairing(s): Denki Kaminari x Reader

Character Count: 2524

Warning(s): Fluff, slight smut mention, period mention (nothing too graphic), the boys just being themselves, this shit is long btw

Summary: read title

⚡Denki Kaminari⚡

the ‘skater boy’ kind of boyfriend

the kind of boyfriend that will grab your hips when you bend over and pretend to bang you

the kind of boyfriend that’s up for late night dates, seeking out adventure

the kind of boyfriend that would sing along to My Chemical Romance loudly in the car with you, even if his singing is awful

he’ll also use a mixture of different words to describe you such as ‘hot’, ‘sexy’, ‘beautiful’, ‘gorgeous’ and so much more! he feels as if there’s no end to your beauty and there’s no just one way to describe you

right away, he’s ready to treat you, offering to take you out all the time, so you’re gonna have to tell him to slow down

he’s ready to introduce you to his parents almost right away! If you’re down, he’ll make a big scene like “Look at how gorgeous she is! Pretty hot, am I right?” If you think it’s too sudden, he’ll understand and won’t bring it up for a while

when it comes to meeting your parents and family, he’s quick to accept but he’s also gonna freak out. Just like in most situations, he’ll use humor and jokes to avoid the awkwardness which is fine because everyone’s laughing and having a good time

is totally down to help out your mom when she needs it and she swoons. Puts on a brave face when your dad suggest that they both should step outside and have a talk ‘man-to-man’ but he’s lowkey scared

everythings okay though and he’s happy the entire ride home after that

he’ll ask you to move in pretty early on in the relationship but if you’re down, then why not?

he’ll probably get an apartment with one bedroom and maybe a spare room to keep extra stuff

video game dates! I can totally see Kaminari ordering another controler so you guys can play together. He’ll let you win a couple of times but if he hands you a controller for the first time and you kick his ass at the game, he might marry you on the spot

it’s pretty obvious that Kaminari is a horndog so of course sex is gonna be on the table

however, if you were a virgin, he’d more than happy to take over and focus on pleasuring you, determined to make it memorable. After all, having your first time can kinda be overwhelming and Kaminari would never forgive himself if it ended up badly

if you weren’t a virgin, he’d smile and pull you on top of him and let you use his body however you wanted. This man is kind of a simp so he’s down for whatever you are

he’s a cuddler and he really likes being near you so after yalls first time together, he’ll pull you close to him and kiss you, caressing your warm skin. If you need anything, he’ll be down to get it for you.

when the red devil shows up, Kaminari is kind of dumb about it. However, he’s quick to learn about the things you like and need. If you’re annoyed and need to blow off some steam, he’ll leave you alone. If you’re hurting on a partially rough day, he’ll hold you tightly, trying his best to ease your pain.

Kaminiari is into you 100% and he’ll spend almost every waking moment making you happy. With the constant jokes, late night fast food runs, and the general cute dorkiness that Kaminari bestows on you, it’s a perfect match.

AN: Why did this take so long to post? 😑 the lack of Kaminari content pisses me off. He's literally perfect 🥰 you can tell who my favorite is Please remember to like, follow, and reblog for more content!

[solalunar-eclipse]

Sonic Boom - S3E1

Episode title: Friendship 101

Word count: about 3000 words

Author’s Note: I’m trying a rather new format for this fic, since it’s based on a TV show with various songs and camera angles. If you have any comments about whether it works well or not, please let me know!

(Also, the theme song choice is all thanks to khinesthetic, who used it here and inspired me to put it in this fic.)

Next

[cue Mr. Blue Sky by ELO (0:00-3:45)]

[The show opens on a zoomed-out view of Hedgehog Village from above. Stone walls separate the village from the wilderness outside. There are large spaces at several points throughout the structure for entry and exit. A large patch of grass with benches scattered about sits at one end of the village, and a marketplace made up of wood-and-cloth stalls runs along one of the walls. Houses are grouped in seemingly random clusters throughout the town, and the (in)famous Meh Burger stand sits all on its own, with picnic tables spread across its wooden flooring. As the music progresses, the camera begins to zoom in on the village- then on one of the streets in particular- and rotates down to eye level to face…]

Sonic the Hedgehog walked through the streets of Hedgehog Village with a bounce in his step, occasionally dancing to the music playing through his earbuds. As he wandered throughout the town, he passed the usual people running their stores, arguing over botched orders at Meh Burger, and, at one point, Aqua the Rabbit absolutely freaking out over the loss of a single follower on Angstagram (the latest social media network for moody teens).

He did a 360-degree spin before winking and pointing finger guns at Amy Rose when he spotted her haggling with the local grocery store owner. She paused briefly to wave at him with a smile. “Hi, Sonic!” she called, completely ignoring the irritated fennec in the process.

Then, the music froze and changed to something extremely ominous as she turned around to face the shopkeeper once more. A dangerous gleam appeared in her eyes as she pulled out her signature hammer. “Now then, about those prices you’ve been setting lately…”

The song cut back in as the view switched back to Sonic, who was now moving away from the scene at a slightly faster pace.

Really, though, he was more than happy to see his other friends not long after. Knuckles and Sticks were currently busy rummaging through the town’s garbage together, excitedly chatting about the latest piece of interesting junk they’d found, while Tails was fixing someone’s broken rain gutter (and attempting to ‘improve’ it in the process, which meant that it could now measure the amount and intensity of rainfall in a storm- a very useful, though unfortunately unwanted improvement).

Surprisingly enough, as he continued on his way through Hedgehog Village, he managed to get people from a few different places to wave back at him when he said hello. Although perhaps it wasn’t quite so surprising when one considered that this was one of the most cliched opening sequences that could possibly happen in any movie or TV show. Ever.

And of course, the only logical outcome of this scene led to everyone beginning to stop their usual activities and gather in one of the few open spaces in the town, clearly prepared to break into a fantastic musical dance number straight out of Broadway. Incredibly, this was one of the few moments in which everyone in the village seemed to be able to get along…

...until Eggman’s latest giant robot slammed feet-first into the ground, sending everyone off-kilter and scrambling for cover. Shrieks of panic rose in place of the music as the villagers fled the scene to hide in their houses. The dramatic entrance didn’t just ruin the mood, it absolutely crushed it with the sheer force of its impact.

And that was, obviously, when the show really began.

[cue In Your Face by Shockwave Sound (0:00-1:04)] 

[Each of the five members of Team Sonic appears on a black screen with their name spelled out in their signature colors (blue, yellow, red, pink, and green) and does a couple of cool fighting moves, followed by snippets of scenes featuring them from previous episodes of the show for about eight seconds each. All five of them then appear together in their usual fighting stances, emphasizing their status as a team.

The Eggman logo then appears in an ominous, glowing red, backlighting the doctor himself and all his creations- before the lights flick on to reveal him alone in his evil lair with a green screen behind him, at which point he shrieks and covers the camera with a hand. Then, neon blue electronic lines begin to appear across the screen and the camera spirals to follow them, selecting one particular line to trace. Not long after, said line ends at a circle which, with a flash, turns into the words ‘Sonic Boom’. Beneath the title, it says ‘Ancient Secrets’ in neon blue.]

[Then the music ends, at which point the episode title- “Friendship 101”- appears for a few seconds in the same color before the show itself returns.]

Sonic scrambled to his feet and zipped over to Tails, pulling him up from where he’d fallen after the robot’s overdramatic arrival. Amy managed to do the same with both Knuckles and Sticks simultaneously, which let Sonic stare for a moment, startled, and then promptly resolve to remember not to get on her bad side anytime soon.

Soon enough, the team had scrambled into their usual positions, ready to fight. Amy and Sticks kicked the battle off by handling the various smaller robots that threatened to get too close to their team, never faltering (and in fact seeming a bit gleeful in the badger’s case) despite the sheer number of enemies. Knuckles, meanwhile, launched Sonic bodily into the air for Tails to catch, before picking up a boulder about the size of a house and lobbing it directly at the robot’s chest.

“Hey! Easy with the boulders- QuakeBot took a lot of effort to make, you know!” Eggman shrieked from above, hovering in the relative safety of his Eggmobile. 

(Relative, in this case, was of course in comparison to mixing absurdly volatile chemicals in a lab, bothering Shadow at any and/or all hours of the day, or being on Tails’s bad side when the fox had a glue gun. The doctor still remembered that situation all too well, and currently ranked it as far more terrifying than merely being punted into the stratosphere by kids under half his height and about a third his age.)

Sonic paused to stare at Eggman from where he was currently dangling in the air. A smirk began to spread slowly across his face. “…what did you just call it?”

“You heard me the first time!” the doctor roared, now incredibly embarrassed. “I named it that since it makes the ground shake when it moves, like an earthquake??”

General laughter came from the heroes assembled on the ground and in the sky.

“Argh! Nobody appreciates my genius around here! Now, QuakeBot, stop standing around and start attacking!”

“I suggested TerraBot, since it still has to do with earth and is a play on the word ‘terror’, but nobody ever listens to my ideas, now do they?” Orbot muttered irritably to himself, tucked inside the Eggmobile.

“I listen to all your ideas!” Cubot offered encouragingly.

Orbot’s mouth shifted into a small smile. “Thanks, Cubot.”

Meanwhile, Sonic had been pulled into a spin by Tails, who whirled the hedgehog around before letting him shoot downwards toward the robot in a spin dash- only for him to get caught and sent flying into the nearest house.

He shook off the surprise quickly (and apparently sustained absolutely zero damage despite having literally crashed through a house, because superpowered teenagers), darting back over to the group. “Well, uh, guess it’s time for Plan B then!”

Crickets chirped in the ensuing silence. Even the robot had stopped moving to hear what he had to say.

“And the plan is…?” Amy prompted.

Sonic folded his arms with a huff. “I dunno, I thought you guys would have one!?”

The pink hedgehog rolled her eyes at that. 

Tails piped up. “I have an idea! Sonic, you’re going to need to be curled up for this, okay?”

The hero promptly did just that, before emitting a muffled “mmhmm?” from inside his layers of quills.

“Alright then, Amy, I need you to hit Sonic with your hammer right at the side of this house.”

Sonic’s blood ran cold. “Whoa whoa whoa, wait a second can we maybe rethink thiaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

He ricocheted all over the palace like a pinball, slamming into several key points of the robot thanks to Tails’s rapid calculations. However, the robot was sadly unaffected by his screaming at a pitch that came dangerously close to shattering glass.

The robot was easily disabled and the attack overall quickly repelled after that. Thankfully, it took Sonic only a moment to recover from his impromptu stint as an out-of-control projectile and get back to fighting with the others…complete with a “Let’s do that AGAIN!” moment, which was met with a resounding no from both Amy and Tails. 

Their ears were both still rather sore from last time, after all.

After Eggman was punted all the way back to his island by a well-placed kick from Sticks, though, the crew was about to head over to Meh Burger for a post-battle meal when they discovered that they had an entirely different problem to take care of. The villagers, who were beginning to come out of hiding after the attack, were furious upon seeing the damage dealt to their homes and stores.

“How could you let this happen?” one shouted.

Before long, the villagers found themselves a more specific target when the owner of the house that Sonic had smashed into pointed her finger directly in his face. “This mess is awful!” she cried. “And it’s all his fault!”

Within seconds, a mob of people had descended upon the overtaxed teen.

“I’ve never known a hero so irresponsible.” one fumed.

“How dare you!” the fennec from earlier roared.

The elderly wolf of the village shook her cane at him. “Shame on you!”

Sonic could feel himself beginning to tense up as the villagers turned their ire on him. Whether or not he’d admit it to anyone, he needed two main things in order to be his usual heroic, cheerful self: open space and positive reinforcement. Right now, he was getting exactly the opposite of both of those.

And he was not feeling good about it.

He looked briefly over to his friends for help, but Sticks had already vanished, Knuckles and Tails looked more nervous than anything, and Amy was already walking towards him with that look in her eye…

“Sonic, next time you do need to work on making sure the robot doesn’t catch you, you know-”

A streak of blue shot out of the village, leaving nothing but a scorched trail of grass and the snap of a sonic boom behind.

Sonic didn’t slow down until he reached the mountains- which technically wasn’t very far from the town at all, so he ran quite a bit more after that until he ended up in the middle of the jungle. Then, he sat down with his back to a tree and his arms around his knees, feeling very unheroic and overall pretty lame.

The blue hedgehog frowned at the dirt. Honestly, some days it really did feel like nobody seemed to like him. The only person who ever even suggested he was important on a regular basis was Tails, and Sonic didn’t blame him at all for not jumping into the middle of that crowd. Tails was only thirteen to his seventeen and a half years old- not exactly an age when he should be expected to go toe-to-toe with a crowd of angry adults.

Still, though. When being a hero got him all risk (no matter how low) and no reward...it was difficult for him to keep hold of that core feeling of “I can make the world a better place to live in!”, which, despite all his other claims, was truly at the center of what had motivated him to start fighting against Eggman so long ago…

[The scene morphs in a manner which shows the lighting shifting so that the sun is overhead. A sound effect of birds chirping plays over the scene change. This implies that it’s been several hours since he first fled the village.]

Sonic was still lost in thought when the snap of a twig in the bushes made him jump to his feet in surprise. The surrounding vegetation rustled ominously for a moment...only to reveal the four members of his team in front of him. He watched them all cautiously, his expression tense. More than anything, he looked ready to run at a moment’s notice- something which only served to make his friends(?) seem a little more distressed. “Uh…hey, guys?” he began tentatively.

“Sonic, I…” Amy began forcefully, before stopping herself. At first, it looked like she was about to scold him again, but then suddenly her face fell. “Listen, Sonic, we’ve all been talking a lot about what happened back at the village…and there’s something I want to say.” She gave a slightly tired sigh. 

“I know we usually like to make jokes and witty commentary, but...sometimes, the world’s just a difficult place to be in.” she said. “...so we really do need to talk about serious stuff occasionally, even though I know it’s tough for you to even mention how you’re feeling. Unless, you know, it’s ‘great!’ or ‘cool!’ or something like that.”

Sonic cringed at the mere idea, looking more and more like he thought running away was the preferable option here.

“So what I wanted to say was that in a world where there are too many people trying to beat you down...what I was trying to do was tell you how to be more tolerant, because I thought that would help. I figured you can’t change how other people are going to be, just yourself, so I hoped that might make things better.

“But...I’m not actually a licensed therapist- yet, anyway. So I might have been wrong on how I went about that. Maybe...instead of telling you off for not being able to stop all those people...in the future I’ll pull out my hammer and tell them to knock it off already. Does that sound better to you?” she asked.

The blue hedgehog froze. “Ames…I...” he croaked, trying his best not to think about why exactly it felt like his throat was so tight all of a sudden.

Sticks folded her arms. “I like that plan! Those people are way too crazy sometimes…and you guys know I have a verrrrry high tolerance for crazy.”

“We can make the villagers quit bugging you together, just like how we fight Eggman!” Knuckles added encouragingly. “It’s always better that way, isn’t it?”

There was still one person who hadn’t spoken yet, though.

Suddenly, Tails crashed full-force into Sonic, squeezing him in a hug that for once he didn’t pretend to hate. “You know I’ve always, always, always got your back, right, Sonic? No matter what?” he asked, looking up at his older brother. “Even if I don’t always know how to do it right.”

The blue hedgehog simply nodded, not trusting his voice to help him maintain his ‘cool guy’ status.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel up to talking about it now, though.” the fox added understandingly, stepping back but still leaving a hand on his arm. 

“But!” Knuckles added. “We won’t tell anyone if you ever decide you do need to get some stress off your chest every once in a while!” He smacked his own chest with a fist for emphasis.

“Nobody needs to know.” Sticks growled, the camera suddenly showing a dramatic angle of her face as the lighting dropped noticeably.

“Uh…that’s kinda dark.” Sonic said, holding up a finger with a bit of a confused frown, which let the lighting and camera angle zip back to normal.

“Anyway!” The pink hedgehog clapped her hands together, turning to face the group as a whole. “What do you guys think about heading over to my house and watching some movies? I’ll even…” She sighed, her whole body slumping. “…make some messy, simple, unprofessional chili dogs. In my state-of-the art kitchen. I know Sonic probably could use a pick-me-up right now, after all.”

“Thanks, Ames! You’re the best!” the hedgehog in question said cheerfully, the promise of good food and great companionship boosting his mood significantly.

Then, his posture shifted once again into something a little more vulnerable. “And thanks to all you guys. For, y’know, everything.”

“Of course!” Amy chirped.

Tails smiled at him. “No problem, Sonic.”

Sticks folded her arms. “That’s what a team’s for, ain’t it?”

“Of course it is!” Knuckles said, in that rather confusing manner where nobody was actually sure if he understood anything about what had just happened.

The echidna actually walked over to Sonic after that particular declaration, though, placing a hand on his shoulder as his face became uncharacteristically serious for a second. “Really, Sonic, we can all help you out, alright? Nobody gets to yell at our leader without getting yelled at back!” he declared, punching a fist into his other hand.

The hedgehog blinked twice before looking up at his friend. “You…just called me the leader?”

“Well, duh! That’s why everyone calls it Team Sonic, right?” Knuckles asked with a smile, letting an awkward (but genuine) grin spread across Sonic’s face.

Within seconds, the hero found himself squeezed in a big hug from all sides by his friends- and then actually lifted off the floor through a joint effort from Knuckles and Amy. 

“Guys- come on! I can’t even move here!” he cried out, his legs flailing so quickly they made a vibrating noise in the air. “Guyyyyssss….” he whined, though nobody seemed to care much about his halfhearted complaints (judging by the happy expressions on their faces).

Then, the episode began to end, as evidenced by an iris out transition. The slowly shrinking circle paused for a moment on Sonic’s current expression, highlighting it against the otherwise black screen. He now sported a sheepish, if slightly pleased smile, complete with a faint pink blush on his face from all the positive attention. 

Clearly Sonic liked being, well, liked far more than he let on.

Then, the circle snapped closed with a pop, and the credits began to roll.

[Voice Actors: 

Roger Craig Smith

Colleen Villard

Travis Willingham

Cindy Robinson

Nika Futterman

Mike Pollock

Kirk Thornton

Wally Wingert

Bill Freiberger

Original creation by:

Evan Baily

Donna Friedman Meir 

Sandrine Nguyen

Bill Freiberger

Takashi Iizuka

Writer/editor:

Solalunar “Sol” Eclipse

Thank you for watching reading.]

[fireheartfaery]

here with open arms

hello angels! so i saw this absolutely genius post by @mistylakeee and i fell deeply in love, it was so freaking cute. my writing demon fully agreed with me because it demanded we write a fic. full and happy credits to mistylakee for the idea and thank you my darling for this genius! i hope y'all enjoy, and umm let's not lie to ourselves this is not edited, because when do i ever edit anything?

title is from the song "Open Arms" by PRETTYMUCH\

this is of course also on my ao3

[all images have alt text]

His eyes are the bluest he has ever seen them. Some mix of cold ocean and summer sky. There’s a glint in them too, one that only appears when he is running high on emotion. But today it is warranted and maybe necessary. He has been preparing for this day, quietly and steadily for months. If it goes well, if it truly works out the way he wants it— needs it to, he may finally after many long years take a rest.

Dorian Havillard looks at himself in the mirror as he shrugs on his royal coat, fastens the wyvern seal that clasps to his breast pocket, right over his heart. He feels the steady beat as his fingers fiddle with the pin. It is comforting in a way now that it never was… before. Before he almost died, before his kingdom nearly got destroyed, before before before he lost so much.

He hears the groan of the hinges and then the familiar squeak of his best friend’s wheelchair.

“You ready?”

“You ready?”

Chaol Westfall looks absolutely dashing. Brown hair slightly longer, wrinkles around his eyes from smiling with abandon, and a small child coddled to his chest. Yrene stands slightly behind him, eyes already roving over the room. A caretaker she has always been, and a caretaker she will always be.

“Did you not sleep last night?” She frowns, looking at his rumpled sheets, the way the curtain billows in the early morning haze.

“I slept enough,” A smile tugs at his lips. “And I'm ready.” He nods at his friend. “I did everything I could.”

“That’s all that matters.” Chaol grabs his hand, squeezes gently.

He squeezes back, and then lifts his niece from her father’s lap. Her eyes are closed but he knows deep brown pools hide there. She looks so much like her mother, but she has her father’s ways. All level-headed, a fighter, determined beyond words. She was learning to run before she could crawl. She has places to be. Even her expressions, the way she can stare at you with narrowed eyes, a small smile, reminds him of Chaol when they were younger.

It delights Yrene to no extent because she feels like she’s getting a glimpse of the child her husband used to be.

“We’ll be standing on the north facing balcony.” His friend is saying, “If you get nervous or don’t know what to say, just look at us.”

Dorian can’t stop the laughter that bubbles out of him. “And how will that help me?”

“I’m hoping if i make enough funny faces at you it’ll shock you into remembering whatever comes next.” The signature blank stare is settled on him and it just makes the king laugh harder. Yrene joins in and they’re loud enough it wakes his niece up. She doesn’t cry, she doesn’t even moan. She just blinks her beautiful eyes open and stares at them in curious wonder. He nuzzles his nose to her cheek before placing her in Yrene’s waiting arms.

“Okay,” He smiles at Chaol, “If I forget I'll find your funny face.”

He gets swatted on the thigh for the comment but there is so much affection swimming between them it feels exactly like warmth. He kisses both of them on the cheek, brushes cool fingers over the baby’s cheek and then he’s out of the room, guards flanking either side of him.

Today, he makes an announcement.

The throne room is empty, quiet enough that his shoes echo as they clack across the marbled floor. He had asked that no-one be present during this speech. They are to project it to the city but he does not want to be bombarded with people who have too many questions and not enough care to think about the answers. He knows, for however much Adarlan has grown, however far they have come, there are still people who wish for the old ways. And it is them who will be the noisiest about this new project. But he does not mind. Because he will prove them wrong. And he knows from the bottom of his heart how good this project is, how much it will help and heal, not just his people but other kingdoms too. He just wishes she was here to share this moment with him. But she has her own kingdom to run, and her own projects to implement. Although they had lettered back and forth for months, sometimes he misses her so much it feels as though his ribs are splintering. His body trying to duplicate itself so he can be in two places at once. Anything, it says, to be near her. He understands the feeling well. It has kept him company these long weeks.

The bell tower strikes the hand. It is time.

He steps up to the podium laid out in front of his throne. Magic covers the projections, and he sees himself on huge screens. He sees Adarlan spread before him in the open balcony that sits front and center. The thrones, his crackling blue and lined with gold, hers fire red and lined with silver do not face the middle of the room but rather the huge balcony, and it’s always open doors. They wanted to look out at the world they protect, and remember what they were fighting for.

“Hello my people,” He smiles. It is genuine, however full of longing he may be. “Today I bring you the announcement of a project I have been working on for the better part of my time as King. It is one I hold near to my heart and one I believe will finally bridge the last of the canyons the devastating war created between our great kingdoms.”

He pauses, takes a half second to breathe in the cool air. The seasons are changing, weather getting colder. He’s already asked the palace to start collecting and ordering blankets for the masses. He makes a note to ask Aelin when her Winter Ball will be. He misses his friends.

“This winter,” He looks at them, directly into the heart of his land, residing among his people. “Adarlan in collaboration with the Western Wastes, will start a massive rehabilitation programme that seeks to aid all those affected by—”

He hears a single wing beat. A strong wind stirs his lapels. He looks up, and there on his balcony in all their beautiful exquisite glory is His Queen and her Wyvern.

Manon Blackbeak looks ethereal. Her white hair blows over one shoulder. Even from here he can see the absolute gold of her eyes. She slides down from Abraxos back and Dorian forgets what living is, how to breathe, what tempo his heart should be beating at. He forgets what words are. In the middle of his speech.

She strolls towards him and he is a gaping fish, tasting oxygen for the first time. It burns at his lungs, between his ribs, in the middle of his chest.

She looks like a star, and he is every planet in the universe gravitating towards her.

He stumbles off the podium-stand towards her. She is gliding towards him. As if nothing around them is allowed to touch her until he does. Dorian sprints the final steps. And slams into Manon so hard they both crash to the ground.

He feels her nails pressing gently against his scalp, he feels their hearts pressing into each other, filling out the shape. He feels, and feels, and feels.

She is soft where he is tense. He is melting where she is rock. They are the boiling points of diamonds. Forging into something new. Glittering through their own existence.

“You’re here.” He says it over and over. A story teller with only one narrative. Tattooing it into the world so that it may never disappear again.

“I’m here.” She whispers softly into his neck. He feels her lip brush his skin. She smells like home. Like the sky. Like freedom.

“Dorian!” Someone is shouting from above them somewhere but he cannot be bothered. He feels Manon laughing into him.

“I think you need to get back to your speech.”

He hugs her harder. She laughs more.

“Dorian, my love.” She tugs at his hair slightly, so they’re staring at each other. He wants to make this moment stone. Immortalise them as statues. Name it “The Return”, the “Never Let Go”, “The Forever”.

She brushes her lips across his cheek. “Finish your speech. We have time.”

“Do it with me,” His eyes are pleading. He can’t bear to let her go. If he does not have her pressed against him he might go insane. And he knows something of that.

“Okay.” She smiles at him. It’s like staring at a full moon. Glowing. “Together.”

And he likes the sound of that so much he echoes it as he ends his speech.

“Together.” He smiles, as they collapse onto their thrones, hands intertwined. “At last.”

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Always and forever

summary: Fans see you and Calum cuddled together in a video and they wonder who the mystery girl is.

a/n: the video they posted of all of them in their studio “announcing” the fifth album. Also I love how Michael announced they're making an album just like that haha. Also I'm writing this as if the pandemic wasn't even a thing because it's more fun that way haha, also reader is known by hanging out with Sierra and the guys. This is my first calum fic so feedback is always acceptable

You and the girls were all invited to come to the guy’s studio to check out and see them make the beginning of their new album, you were so excited for them and you and the girls would be standing behind them and supporting them on the new album.

You were getting ready while Cal waited for you downstairs, you didn't dress up that much, you only wore one of Cal's hoodies and a pair of jeans. You knew you were gonna be there for a while so you were gonna dress comfortably. You always liked seeing cal do his thing, you admired how passionate he was when it came to his work. As you walked down the stairs you noticed Cal was laying on the couch looking at his phone so you joined him as he took you in his arms.

“Are you ready to go?” he said as you looked up at him and nodded.

“Yeah I am, I'm excited for you guys.” you said with a smile as he pulled you in for a kiss.

“Thank that means a lot, I'm glad I have you here with me, I mean you are my inspiration after all.” he said you giggled and he pulled you in for a small cuddle.

“You know i'll always be here for you, always.” you said muffled as you two cuddled on the couch before leaving your place.

You were one of the many people Calum cared for, he always thought that he would never fall in love again, but with you it was different, he was able to be more than himself when you were with him. You allowed his mind to be open with you. To even add more to this story, you thought you wouldn't love again as well, you were heartbroken so many times as well, and well when you met cal, you two probably fell in love with one another the first time you two laid eyes on one another. You two met as if you were normal people, well you were introduced by Luke’s girlfriend, but nonetheless you met as normal people.

As you arrived you hung out with Sierra, while the boys were doing their warm up and a little while after KayKay and Crystal showed up and the gang was pretty much there.You and the girls were always here to support your guys, it was practically tradition, but this was a nice thing to do, since not everyday you see everyone. As much as you missed the boys you missed your girls. 

The cameras then started to roll for a small announcement for the fans to see, it wasn't official yet, but the guys wanted to place a nice presence in the video for the fans to guess what they were up to. Which is why you chose the traditional hoodie and jeans because you knew fans would assume its you and you hoped this disguise worked since you and cal haven't gone official, or so you thought.

When the boys were kinda stuck they called a break the guys all went to their gals and cal walked over to your on the couch and cuddled you as you kissed him. “How's it going rockstar?” you asked as he looked over at you with a smile as he placed a kiss on your lips and he got comfortable with you.

“Pretty good, got some good lyrics in and a couple of new tunes.” he said as he moved to be the little spoon and he took his beanie off so you could play with his hair, this was one of the many things he likes when he needed inspiration or relax, mainly both but you were happy to do so. “Hey, that's good bubs, I'm happy it's going well, I'm proud of you.” you said he looked at you in awe and just couldn't believe how lucky he was.

For him he always found inspiration for lyrics in moments like these. No matter how small or big the moments were, there was always some sort of feeling he felt, it was more than love. He never felt this way ever in his life before, he knew he would follow you everywhere and you would do the same.

“Im making another song about you,” cal said as you looked down at him again, you loved that he made you songs, but you knew his fans would probably like to hear different songs. “Cal you don't have to, you should focus on what your fans like.” you said as he looked up at you with a pout, “babe, the fans would love you once they know, and besides its pretty official, the boys love it.” he said as you giggled, “Don't worry about that love, besides my fans probably like you more than me and they don't even know yet.” he said as you two laughed a little and your cuddle sesh continued before he had to go back in.

After a couple more hours of the boys working and you guys getting to listen to some of the music they had come up with, you were very excited to hear the final cut. You were proud of the progress they all made, you knew the final cut would turn out great.

You all said their goodbyes and hopped to see them again for another meet up session. You and Cal went home and did your normal night routine, you would watch another movie or a couple episodes of a show you were currently watching. Then you would eat some dinner, you either made something small or you ordered some food. After you eat you would head up to your shared room and do your skincare, you two always loved doing it together, especially sheet face masks, those were your favorite and he always had a couple pictures of you two, but mainly you.

This was pretty much “normal” about your lives, and he cherished them everyday, especially when he was away on tour, he would always look back at your silly pictures together and remember that you were always going to be there waiting for him. You missed him as well when he was away and you were grateful you had a part of him, which was duke, you would take him on walks and little small picnic dates which you later showed cal, which he loved how you would take care of him while he was away. He was practically your son, but you didn't know that was your title, it was a secret between cal and duke.

As the morning hit you woke up with cal’s arms around you as you looked over at him seeing his sleepy self. You knew that these sessions took up a lot of energy internally since he was creating music for everyone to hear. You enjoyed seeing him sleeping peacefully. You snuggled closer to him as you kissed his jaw and he started to wake up a little.

“Good morning love” he said with his morning voice as you two kissed one another, “Good morning, how'd you sleep bubs?” you said as duke had climbed in between you too as you kissed duke, “pretty good as usual i had you in my arms.” he said as you looked up to him with a smile.

The first night you two spent the night together, you both fell asleep instantly, the things that were planned for the rest of the night had been swiped away, but you two enjoyed being with one another even if you were just sleeping. You two helped one another sleep, you couldn't remember the last time you actually had a good night's sleep. When calum was away, he couldn't sleep and he would be so tired when he would come home, which he felt bad for because he wanted to spend the day with you, but you always insisted on him to rest and that you would be by his side when he woke up since you too were tired and needed him by your side.

As you were eating breakfast, the video their team worked on was posted, it was very simple, nothing too complex about it. Cal knew his team was amazing so he was gonna wait to see it once it was posted by one of the guys.

His phone then started to blow up, first it was twitter, then it was instagram. Your phone then too started to ring. You both looked at one another with a quite confused look, cal picked his phone up and then he saw the video that his team posted, it looked so good to him, but when he went to the comments, he saw people were tagging you as you were seeing that as well on your phone.

@5sosforever3CALM: OMG thats literally @y/n! OMG OMG

@5sosupdates: CAL HAS A GIRL, SIERRA PROBABLY GOT THEM TOGETHER

@lukemikeycalash: HOLD UP IS THAT @y/n????

@caldreams: YALL REALLY OUT HERE POSTING THIS WITH NO CONTEXT

He went back to the video and looked at it closely, and there was a clip of the two of you on the couch having your small moment. Your face wasn't clear to the camera, but how did they know? Your hair was showing and your nose, but how could they get that from one clip? He looked at his tagged photos and saw that they were comparing you side to side with your side profile.

“Oh no, our fans are literally FBI agents, how did they get that from one picture?” Cal said as you giggled, then saw Luke's contact appear and you answered it.

“Hey.” you said with a giggled, “hey, have you seen the comments?” he asked as cal answered, “yeah we saw, but how do they know it's her?” he said as those two kept going back and forth. “So should i ask out team to delete it?” he asked as you shook your head, “Luke it's fine, i'm not that bothered, doing nothing will just let them make up other theories.” you said as you were calm the outside, but you were freaking out on  the inside.

“Are you sure?” cal asked as you nodded, “yeah i am, as long as you're okay with it.” you said as he nodded and you said goodbye to luke and you two continued your breakfast.

You sat on the couch after breakfast and did your normal thing, you knew Cal was freaking out because he was still on his phone trying to see if the fans were coming up with new theories, but no they were stuck on it. He was freaking out because he wanted you to feel comfortable, you both agreed on keeping your relationship private, but you knew once it was out of the bag people would find out.

“Cal, if you want we can announce it officially.” you said as he looked over at you with a smile. He had been wanting to go official years back, but he respected you and well he liked keeping your relationship private, since most things in his life were already out there. He wanted something serious with you and he wanted this to do it right.

“Really? Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured because the fans are figuring it out.” he said as you nodded, “yes cal, besides you looked stressed out, we've been together for 5 years and besides like you said hopefully they'll like me.” you said as he shook his head, “no they're going to love you as much as i love you.” he said as the both of you had pulled up pictures of the two of you and captioned it, “Alright done, ready?” he asked as you nodded,“3...2….1!” he said as you both posted the pictures and you had turned off your phones. You knew it would be blowing up in minutes, so today was going to be spent with one another. 

The next morning you woke up by a duke who had climbed into the bed as you saw Cal was missing, he probably had gotten up to make breakfast,“Hey duke, where's your dad huh.” you said as you held him in your arms as you walked towards the kitchen where cal had been preparing the table for you guys to eat. “Hey rockstar, what's this for?” you asked as you placed duke down and cal placed his hands on your jaw and you moved in to a kiss, as you smiled through it.

“Just wanted to make my lady some breakfast.” he said as you saw him being all cheeky and you grinned at him, almost making him blush, “Well this is nice, does it have to do with what we did yesterday?” you said as he nodded with a slight grin,“Depends on what you’re talking about” he asked as he smirked at you slapped his arm playfully. You two had gotten in the mood and well it's probably best to keep it a secret.

“Cal! Not in front of duke.” you said as you two laughed and nodded, “well i liked what we did after the post, but yeah the fans reacted well.” he said as you smiled seeing him so happy, “I'm glad, wait what picture did you post?” you asked as you got your phone and clicked on instagram, “just a couple of us and one of duke,” he said as you nodded and looked through. The first one was of the two of you two on your first date, which was one of the many dates you had after going out, but this one was your first date as boyfriend and girlfriend. The second one was a picture of the two of you asleep on the tour bus, when you had tagged along with them since you had free time saved up and cal loved that you were there, he was able to see you everyday, even when he was preforming and you were in the crowd.

“Where did you get that one of us on the bus?” you asked in awe of that picture, “the guys took it after the show and they later sent it to me,” he said with a smile as you swiped to the next photo. This was a picture of you when Cal and the guys were nominated for an award and even won and he brought it home to you and took a silly picture with the award. the next one was the first night you spent together and you were doing sheet face masks, that's how it all got started. And the last one was a picture of you and duke when you first met, duke was all over you and was happy to finally meet you. You remembered all of these moments clearly, they were moments you cherished the most. You then looked at the caption and cal had seen your eyes trailing the text waiting to see you reaction.

@calumhood: i guess you guys figured it out, so here it is. This is my soulmate, my person and Duke's mom. I never thought i would love again, but the day i met her i was already falling for her and well she's the best thing that has ever happened to me and of course our pup Duke. The day she came into mine and duke’s life we were blessed. She inspires me to be a better person and artist everyday and is the inspiration to all of the music I write for the band, so you can thank her for our records. She is one of the many people I love in life and I hope you can love her the same way I do. Duke and I  love you forever and always. @y/n <3

You looked up at him with small tears in your eyes and a smile. He looked over at you and saw you were crying as he was worried he didn't expect you to cry.

“Hey, you okay? What's wrong? Did someone say something?” he asked as you nodded, “yeah you did,” you said with a smile showing him the caption he wrote and he smiled and gave you a hug. You then cut your moment short and looked at Duke and back at him,“I'm Duke's mom?” you asked as he looked at you in awe and nodded, “yeah of course you are, you always were, probably since the first day you spent the night. He was pretty bummed out after you left.” he said as he remembered that day his pup was missing their favorite girl.

“Aw cal, all i wrote in the caption was a heart,” you said as he shook his head, “love, you show me everyday how much you love me, especially when we were away, this was my way to show you as well, but i'm not stopping there, i will show you everyday how much you mean to duke and i, but especially me. I meant what I said, forever and always.”  he said as you kissed him and duke had wanted some in on this moment.

You two who never believed in soulmates or even love yet you both found it again. The love you two have was something you couldn't describe with words. It was out of this universe to be quite frank with you. You were soulmates lost, and once found, you were happy with one another, your love was strong, any other couple would have broken up when their significant other was away, but the both of you were different. Different but perfect for one another. Cal knew that once you were in his life he would do his very best to keep you in his life forever and always.

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

loving you is the antidote

Summary:

Harry  meet you at the gala and you both spent the whole night talking. He didn't get your number and he thought that was the end of you both, but later you both found your way back to each other while filming the Golden music video in italy.

Warning: fluff

Word count: 3.9k

Title: loving you is the antidote

Pairing: harry styles x reader

author note: been waiting to post this lol

Masterlist • requested closed. Don't send any!

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission. Comments and reblog welcome!

Here's how it started.

You woke up to your alarm blaring. Any other day you would hate that, but today you were quite grateful for it. You were going to the met gala for the first time in your career as a model. It was exciting.

You hopped out of the bed. Before you left your room you grabbed your phone before walking down the hallway to the kitchen. 

It was 11 in the morning, birds were chirping and the sun was casting light on your kitchen. It felt nice against your skin as you pulled out your cereal and milk. You walked over to the island and took a seat and began to eat your breakfast while you scrolled through Instagram. 

You didn't notice it at first, but you got a dm from someone you really adored. When you finally noticed, you gasped loudly

It was Harry Styles

You just couldn't believe it. The spoon in your hand, feel from your fingers as you pressed his contact. A message popped up and you began to read them.

Hi it's Harry styles. I just wanted to say I really admire what you do. I hope we can meet if you're going to the met gala tonight because I am. We can talk if you'll like, just really want to meet you. See you then hopefully. Love H.

The last bit made you smile a lot. You were really thinking about messaging him back, but you decided to surprise him until you got to the gala.

You finished up your breakfast with a racing heart. Harry styles out of all people liked what you did; he admired it. That made you shocked, at the same time giddy, also nervous. 

After you finished your breakfast, you got up from the table, placing your bowl in the sink. As soon as you turned your phone began to ring. Walking back to the table, you picked it up seeing that it was your manager Sara.

Quickly you picked up. "Hi Sara." You practically screamed into the phone. You already regret it. 

"Wow you're quite exciting. What happened? it's almost 9 in the morning, you're never this happy." Sara chuckled. You knew she was shaking her head. 

"Sorry Sara. It's just… I got a message from someone special today." 

"Ohh who?" She asked flirty. You laughed. "It was from harry styles. He wanted to see me at the met gala. He said he admired me." You began to beam as you remembered that message.

"Wow y/n lucky you." Sara laughed. "Well if you're going to see him at the gala then me and Jenny have to come over and get you ready." 

"I'm ready to get ready." You nodded even though she couldn't see you. "Okay well I'll see you in about…" Sara looked down at her watch. "In about an hour. I'll see you till then ok?" 

"Okay Sara." You said your good-byes to each other and ended the call. You exhaled after sitting your phone down on the kitchen counter. You were going to take a nice warm shower before Sara got here because it was always needed

You walked out of the kitchen, down the hall, to the bathroom. You inched over to the shower, turning the on knob to the hot water. While it got warm, You began to stare at yourself in the mirror for a few minutes, Harry styles still on your mind.

When you noticed you were daydreaming you quickly snapped out of it. "Gosh." You muttered to yourself. You turned to the shower seeing the glass steaming with fog. You began to strip from your pajamas until you were bare as the day you were born. 

Slowly you got under the warm shower. Your muscles relaxing as a sigh passed your lips. Water trickled down your skin as you stood under the shower head. It felt amazing, and you'll love to stay in there forever, but you had things you had to do and that wasn't an option.

You began to wash your body. After about 5 minutes you were satisfied by how clean you were and turned off the shower head. You got out, right after wrapping a towel over your damp body, before you walked over to your vanity to begin your morning routine. 

You bopped your head to Golden that was now blasting on your phone as you got yourself ready. You just loved Harry's angelic voice as he sang from his heart. 

You were so in your element you didn't notice Time was moving quickly. The doorbell rang making you jump slightly. You got up out of your vanity chair and Walked to the door.

Opening it, you were met with Sara and your makeup artist and stylist. "How are you y/n?" Jeffrey, your makeup artist, asked as you let them all in. "Um…" you drew a long breath. "Pretty good."

You shut the door behind you before turning to look at them. "That's amazing. I heard the very famous Harry styles adores you." He gave you wiggly eyebrows as he sat his makeup case down. You began to blush at his knowing. 

"Yes he does adore me. He wants to see me later which is pretty exciting." You clashed your hands together, smiling widely. Your stylist Maria laughed, "well take a seat. We're going to glam you up for this big day." You smiled at them and took a seat at your dining room table. "Work your magic."

*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*

two hours later they were all done. Your makeup was done, so was your hair. You decided on a white Versace dress to wear to the gala because it made you feel sexy and look sexy. Your team agreed on that last statement when you walked out of your bedroom with it on.

"Oh my gosh y/n you look amazing honey." Jeffrey said. 

You twirled around, showing off the lace dress. "I love it, it looks so nice." Sara walked over to you. "Are you ready to go?" She smooths out the dress before looking at you.

"I'm more than ready." You said, beaming. "Alright then," Sara clashed her hands together. "Let's go then."

*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*

The drive to the gala didn't take long. You were so giddy to go. It was probably mostly because of Harry. As you pulled into the driveway of the art museum, Jeffrey made sure your makeup was perfect before you even stepped out of the car. 

Sara stepped out first before a guard helped you out. You took a deep breath as you saw people everywhere. You put on a smile as the door was shut behind you. 

Slowly, you walked up the steps, the photographer calling your name for you to look at their camera. You posed, giving them every angle. 

You eventually reached the top of the stairs. Waiting up there was an interviewer wanting to interview you.

"Y/n, how are you?" She asked you, holding the microphone up to you. "I'm great. Really excited to be here." You looked at the interviewer, ready for her next question. 

"What are you wearing tonight?" 

"Um… I'm wearing versace. I've wanted to wear this dress forever. I'm very excited to be wearing it." You laughed at the end of the sentence before smiling. 

"Well it's your first time to the gala, are you excited to see anyone?" She looked at you, waiting for your answer. You were dying to say Harry styles, but you know what kinda drama that could start. So you said some other people you were actually excited to see. "I'm excited to see Blake lively and Zendaya." You kinda lied.

The interviewer went with it and asked you a few more questions before she ended. Sara then led you to where the party was. You breathed a sigh of relief, but your heart was beating fast. Harry styles could be anywhere in the building. That excited you a lot. A waiter came over to you with a glass of wine. You took it right after you thinked him. You stood in the back and looked around at the sea of people. They were dressed beautifully from head to toe. You felt kinda shitty because your dress wasn't much compared to others. But a voice made you forget about the others around you.

"You look stunning."

You turned to your left to see the one and only harry. Your eyes met with his emerald eyes and it felt like you both were the only two in the building. A smile appeared on Harry's face as he walked closer to you. The pit in your stomach filled with butterflies the hurted, but in the most amazing way.

 "How are darlin'?" Harry asked. "Um… I'm great." You were flustered and Harry noticed. "Don't worry, I'm not going to bite." He winked at you, making you giggle a little. 

"Uh so you want to talk?" You asked him,  sitting the champagne glass on the bar top that was behind you. Harry nodded lightly. "Yes, I would like to talk. Follow me."

Harry began to lead the way. You followed him, trying not to freak the hell out. Harry led you to a room where only a few people were. They were in their own little world so of course Harry brought you back there.

"Here sit beside me." Harry sat down in a chair and you sat in the one beside him. "So," Harry started, looking at you. "I just wanted to chat with you because you're pretty amazing."

You felt your face heat up at his words. "Thank you. You're pretty amazing yourself." Harry smiled, showing off his dimple. "Stopped, you're making me blush." 

You chuckled at him. "No seriously you are. Your singing is unbelievably amazing and it just makes me forget about the world and smile." You looked off into the distance as you thought about those nights where you were belching lights up in your house by yourself.

"Thank you for making music." You turned back to Harry seeing him look at you with a smirk. "You're a doll. Well I'm going to say your modeling is awesome. I hope that doesn't sound weird but yeah it is."

“No it’s not. Thank you again.” 

You and Harry kept talking. You both were flirting with each other like crazy. You would notice Harry's eyes falling to your lips as you talked. It made you flustered. You weren’t going to lie, you were doing the same thing. 

You both didn’t notice that you had been talking for an hour until Sara came and told you that you unfortunately had to go. You looked back as Sara walked away. 

“Well i gotta go.” you stood up and exhaled. “It was nice to meet you.” you turned to see harry getting up. “Same here.” he stood in front of you. His lips were pressed into a thin line as he looked into your eyes. You smiled slightly as shivers ran across your sink. Harry inched closer and closer to your lips, his eyes flickering to yours and to your lips. Both yours and Harry's hearts were racing. 

Time stopped as Harry's lips touched yours. Your whole body tingled as he kissed you. The kiss was sweet, but had so much passion in it. You wanted to stay like this forever but you knew you couldn’t. You pulled away from Harry's lips, resting your forehead against yours. 

“I have no words.” you muttered as you opened your eyes. Harry pulled away, looking at you. “Same. I really enjoyed this day with you, hopefully we meet again.” Harry said as he took his hand, brushing it over your cheek bone. “Well I should go before Sara comes and yells at me. Bye harry.” 

You waved to him as you walked away, leaving his sight. Harry watched as you walked away. He knew you were going to be on his mind all week and he wouldn't have minded that.

Harry sat back down in the chair. A smile appeared on his face as he leaned back. You were something special.

-:-:-:-:

It's been a whole month since you've seen Harry. He was on your mind constantly. You loved every thing that happened on the night of the Met gala, but one thing you regret was not getting his number. 

 On the other side of the world, Harry was feeling the same way. You flooded his mind constantly. He fell asleep smiling as he thought about you. He wished he would've been smarter and got your number, but he couldn't go back and now he had to live with it.

Harry sat on his couch, his guitar tucked in between his arms and his thighs as he strummed away. He was coming up with some new music for his next album. The sound of his guitar filled Harry's ears. This song he was playing was about you and how close he was to getting you. He was really indulged in singing, so much  when his phone rang it startled him.

He picked it up seeing that it was jeff. “Jeff?” Harry said. “Hi harry, so i was thinking we could do a music video for golden. What do you think?” 

Harry suckedin his breath as he thought. “Um… I do like the sound of that. When do you want me to do it and where?”

“Um I was thinking today you can go to Italy and film like a 70s style music video. And I have the perfect girl for the video.” Jeff laughed on the other end of the phone. Harry smiled at Jeff's words, getting extremely curious. “Who is it?” Harry questioned. Jeff sucked in his breath. “Uh you have to go to italy to see.” 

Harry shook his head laughing at jeff. “Okay you convinced. I’m going.” Harry got up and finished the call with jeff. After he hung up, Harry made his way to his bedroom to pack. He opened his closet and pulled out his suitcase. He began to stuff a few pairs of pants and trousers in his suitcase. When he had enough for a few days, he zipped up his suitcase and walked out of the room with it.

Harry wondered who Jeff was going  to pair him with for the music video, but he’ll eventually see. Before Harry left he called Anne to tell her where he was going. She was still a huge Mama Bear. When he was finished with the call, he drove his way to the airport. 

Watermelon sugar was blasting on the radio. Harry could help but belch out the song because you know it's his song. After about 15 minutes Harry arrived at the airport. He parked, got out of his car before making his way to the airport. After going through security he walked through the terminal. Of course while waiting to board some fans asked for a picture. He didn't mind so he took some pictures  with a few. When Harry was finally in his seat by the window, he put in his airpods to listen to some 80s music and began to read a book. 

2 hours and 30 minutes later Harry arrived in italy.  Harry quickly unboarded so he wasn't seen. His taxi was already waiting for him when he exited the huge building. Harry put his bag in the trunk before getting into the back. The driver pulled away as soon as Harry buckled his seat belt. He was making his way to the hotel where Harry would be staying. While the driver was driving to his destination, Harry's eyes were outside of the window. 

He loved italy a lot. It almost felt like his second home. He just felt so safe and welcome here. 

"Alright we're here sir." The driver looked at Harry through the mirror. Harry looked at the guy, "okay, thank you." Harry said, reaching for his wallet. He tipped the guy a generous amount which earned a thanks. Harry smiled slightly at the guy before opening the door, taking his baggage and walking into the hotel. 

Harry was quickly checked into a room. Once he got the key card he was off to the elevator. He was hoping to get in a nap before they filmed anything. 

With his slinder, run clad fingers, Harry pressed the up button. It didn't take long for the door to open up. Harry walked in and sat down his luggage with an exhale. The door was about to shut 6 seconds later, but Harry heard a distant voice.

"Hold the door please."

And Harry did. He put his hand out and the door opened again. The voice that Harry heard now had a face to it. You walked into the elevator, smiling, not even aware who was beside you. 

"Thank you for that. You pressed your floor before turning to see who it was. Your jaw practically dropped to the floor when you saw Harry.

"Harry!?" You were shocked. You didn't think you'd meet him again; yet here you both were in the same hotel. 

"Y/n… How.. how are you?" Harry asked, stumbling to find his words. "I'm okay. I'm here to do a music video with someone." You said smiling. 

"I'm doing a music video." Harry said. "Wait that's why Jeff was so giggly, it was you." Harry smiled causing you to do the same. "Well I guess our managers were thinking the right way." You laughed. "I'm happy I'm here. Especially know that you're as well."

Without hesitation Harry kissed you. God how you missed his lips. His tongue ran across your bottom lips before he kissed you zealously. You moaned a little as you cupped his cheeks deepening the kiss.

Unfortunately you both pulled away when the elevator dinged. You were breathless and so was harry. "This is my floor." You picked up your bag. "Um I'll see you later?" You said looking at Harry.

He nodded, "of course” you smiled at him as you walked out of the elevator. As soon as the door closed you squealed excitedly. Smiling, you walked down the hall to your suit that you were staying at. You struggled to get the key card in the slot from smiling so much but you eventually did and walked straight, tossing your bag to the ground. You fell back onto the bed with your arms wide open. You couldn’t stop smiling.

The italian sun outside of your window cascaded down on your body making you feel golden. 

----

Harry was feeling the same. As soon as he entered his room he started doing his happy dance. He was more than happy, he was ecstatic. You did that to him. Harry calmed himself down before plopping down on his bed. He ran his hands over his hands trying to stop the smile on his face. He knew he couldn’t so he decided to sleep on it for an hour or so before he started filming.

Harry changed into some joggers and pulled off his shirt before getting comfy under the blanket. He fell asleep with a smile on his face(and also on his tummy hehe).

-

About an hour later, Harry woke up to his phone ringing. He adjusted from his sleep before reaching for his phone on the nightstand. “‘Ello?”

 “Harry,” it was jeff. “ are you ready to film?” Harry sat up as soon as Jeff asked that. “Yeah. I just took a little nap.” he cleared his throat. “Okay be down stairs in 5 minutes, bye.” Jeff hung up before Harry could say bye, which Harry thought was rude. 

He just pushed that out of his mind as he got out of the bed. He put on some shorts and a white button up shirt. Before he left the room he made sure his hair was perfect before grabbing his phone leaving the room.

Down the hall, near the elevator you were waiting for him. Harry of course smiled when he saw you because he didn't expect you to be waiting.

“Hi, what are you doing here waiting for me?” you walked up to him “well I ‘m scared of elevators.” you pouted your lip as you joked. Harry laid, “alright come on.” 

He pressed the down button and waited for the elevator to open. “Wait how'd you get up to my floor then?” Harry asked, looking over at you. The way your eyes grew large as Harry caught you in your lie made him laugh. 

The elevator opened and you and Harry walked in. you pressed the main floor and watched as the door closed. As you both went down, you couldn’t help looking over at harry. He was looking at the floors as they changed. You can see slight dimples in  his cheek telling you he knew you were staring at him. You just chuckled softly before turning back, turning away, looking back forward.

The elevator soon came to a stop letting you and Harry off. Harry politely let you walk out first before he followed. Some crew that was helping film were waiting for you and harry to take you to the location you needed to go. You and Harry followed them outside before walking in the warm sun a block down to the filming location. When you arrived the director gave you and Harry simple instructions. 

“Harry was up first driving the car and running. You watched as his curls blowing in the wind and how he made funny faces. You couldn't help but laugh to yourself at how adorable and hot he was. 

you didn’t do much during your takes. so it was mostly you and Harry doing a little talking, giggling, and danced playfully. He was such a fun person to be around and you wish you could be with him Every day if it was possible.

After filming various takes the director called it a day. Your eyes were on the sky watching as the sun rays painted a golden picture on the sky. You didn't notice but Harry was looking at you with a smile. 

Your skin glowed so nicely as the sun shined on you. A little smile played on your face making Harry chuckle quietly to himself.

He took it upon himself to walk over to you and wrap his arms around your waist. Of course you knew who it was - it made you smile.

"Hi Harry." You said leaning back. Harry looked at you as you looked up at him. "Hi y/n." Harry looked at the sky before speaking again. "You know something, when I left the gala I couldn't stop smiling. You were the first person that ever made me feel so free and so not famous. And when I forgot to ask I thought I lost my chances with you forever. My mind was going crazy; couldn't stop thinking about you for a second and how stupid I was to not get your number. But you know what?" 

Harry looked at you. "What you mumbled. "None of that matters because I'm right here with you right now and there's nowhere I want to be."

You smiled softly at him. "I can say the same." You turned in Harry's arms. "I was going through a hard time before I met You. Not to be cliche or anything, but loving you is the antidote and I mean that." 

Harry smiled before he cupped your cheek, kissing you tender and sweet.

The end

*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ*

I love this. My longest fic too

best believe I got more coming

@captainamerica-is-bae​

[greengrayeyeswrites]

shit-faced in love (chapter one)

Title: shit-faced in love

Pairing: Corpse Husband x OC (fem!youtuber!reader)

Word Count: 1,630

Warnings: Mental Health/Mental Illnesses are a big topic in this story. Mentions of depression, bpd and other mental illnesses. Angst, Fluff.

Note: This may be a Corpse x OC story but feel free to insert yourself into the main girls role. If Corpse ever announces that he doesn't like fanfics about him, I'll delete this.

Prologue — Chapter 1 — Chapter 2

— — —

„You did what?!“ Baylee screeched into the phone and Imogen sighed. She was standing in Ballinlough Community Park and watched Buddy run around in circles, greeting the other dogs. 

„Baylee, please don’t yell… This is stupid enough even without you screaming in my ear.“ Imogen rubbed the bridge of her nose and Baylee sighed. „I just can’t believe you pinky-promised on taking Pole Dancing classes when reaching two mil… Imogen, you know you’re depressed and suffer from BPD, right?“ Imogen chuckled. 

„I know, Bay. I was diagnosed often enough“ she quickly rolled her eyes and watched Buddy stumble over his feet. „To my defense, I was shit-faced hammered when we made that plan.“

Remembering the drunk game of Proximity Among Us a few months prior, where Imogen had a playful banter with the deep-voiced Youtuber Corpse Husband, send a shiver down her spine.

She was already tipsy. Tipsy and the imposter and running around like a maniac, killing everyone who came across her, when Disguised Toast asked her, what she wanted to do once reaching two million subscriber.

Her drunk laugh had ringed in everyones ears as she promised to document herself taking Pole Dancing classes like Seán and Mark had once done. 

„Do it in San Diego“ Corpse had chuckled and Imogen had pursed her lips. „You want me to fly all the way to the states to take Pole Dancing classes?“ She had asked before killing off his little astronaut.

Once back in the lobby Corpse, whom she was getting to know at that time, started talking about the weird and drunk induced idea.  „You wanted to visit your best friend in Houston anyway, right?“ The man spoke and Imogen had nodded—even if no one except her chat could see it.

„Then come to San Diego. I bet there are good schools here.“ And after taking another sip from her Vodka Imogen grinned. „Sure, why not!“

But Imogen had low-key forgot about this situation and when Corpse tweeted her this morning, her whole face flushed and she remembered everything about the drunk Among Us session.

„But are you doing it?“ Baylee’s voice brought Imogen back to the reality. „Are you really coming to the states?“ Imogen bit the inside of her lip. „I’m meeting my therapist later today. I will definitely talk about this with him and see what he has to say.“

Imogen heard Baylee hum in the background. „I would be happy if you’d come and visit me“ she started and Imogen pouted. „Me too!“ She watched Buddy run towards her, with a stick in his mouth.

She knew she had pinky-promised Corpse that she would fly over to San Diego and document her Pole Dance classes. But was she brave enough to actually do it?

— — —

Two months later, it was a hot and sticky day in June and Imogen was looking at the suitcase in front of her. She still couldn’t believe what she was about to do.

With a one-way ticket to Houston and Buddy’s pet passport in her hands, nothing was in her way to travel over the pond. She got tested negatively for Covid and was ready to embark on this new journey.

She had a good talk with her psychiatrist about the upcoming journey and he told her that she was currently stable enough to travel. He stacked up her medication and told her that she could always call him, when she felt like the mood swings were too much to handle.

It took Imogen two months to prepare Buddy for the upcoming trip, and a lot of meetings with his vet to check if the fluffy dog would be okay in two eight hour flights. 

Imogen had her phone at her ear and was currently talking with non other than her internet friend Sykkuno. „Do you think Buddy is going to be okay?“ Imogen asked, fumbling with the hem of her pajama top. „You’ve prepared him well! You checked his health with the vet and talked with airline. You also got a letter from your psychiatrist, that Bud needs to be with you at all times!“ Sykkuno spoke and Imogen sighed.

„I know, Sykk… But I’m a little anxious that he’s going to get sick throughout the flight.“ She looked at Buddy, who was still sleeping on his cushion. „I just read so many horror stories about pets dying during flights.“ - „I feel you, Imogen. I would be super scared if something would happen to Bimbus.“ 

Imogen sat down on her bed. She still had a few hours before she had to head to the airport. She was happy Sykkuno had picked up the phone, otherwise she would’ve freaked out.

„I’m seriously happy that there are no size requirements for emotional-support-dogs… I already booked business class seats so Bud and I can have more space.“ She sighed and Sykkuno chuckled. „Just imagine the faces of all these business men wondering why there’s a full grown Siberian Husky in business class“ his laugh rang in her ears and her heart jumped.

„Not gonna lie, Sykkuno, but I can’t wait to finally meet you in person!“ She grinned and looked at all the documents, that were sprawled out on her bed. 

There was the letter from her psychiatrist, stating that Imogen needed the animal for psychological reasons; a prescription of why Imogen needed said animal and all the other veterinary documentations.

Imogen could hear the one year older male laugh. „Me too, Imogen!“, his voice was as soft as usual. „I can’t wait for Bimbus and Buddy to meet!“ He chuckled and Imogen nodded.

She had contacted almost all of her closest Youtube friends and had asked them if they wanted to meet, once she and Buddy set foot in America. 

Sykkuno was one of the first to tell her, that he wanted to meet her and Buddy. Then came Rae, that invited her to do a collab or something for their channels. Poki also contacted Imogen, asking if she wanted to hang out with her.

But the one, Imogen hadn’t believe would approach her, was Corpse Husband. Corpse had called her—it had been one in the morning in Ireland—and told her that he wanted to meet her, once she was in San Diego for her Pole Dance class.

„You want to meet me?“ Imogen asked him. „You never show your face and yet you want to meet me… in person?“ His deep laugh rang in her ears. „Yeah… is that weird? We’ve been texting everyday and I really want to meet Buddy!“ Imogen rolled her eyes.

„You want to meet the dog, not me?“ He laughed even louder and Imogen was worried for a second. His breath hitched. „Are you okay?“ - „Yeah, you just sounded as if you were jealous of your dog.“ Imogen rolled her eyes and bit her fingernails.

„You know he’s not just my dog, but my companion, right?“ - „Yet you’re jealous of me wanting to meet him.“ Imogen knew that it was no use talking to him and sighed. „You know what? Let’s meet and see if you really only want to meet Buddy.“

Imogen shook her head as she remembered the late-night calls and texts from the faceless YouTuber. And she could only fathom how stressful it must be for him to actually invite Imogen over.

„When’s your flight?“ Sykkuno asked and Imogen sat down on her gaming chair, overlooking her room and sleeping Buddy on the floor. „It’s in few hours. I still need to dress properly, I’m still in my pajama. And I still need to head up to Dublin.“ Imogen laughed. „Your layover is in Washington right?“ - „Yes, I wanted to stop in Washington because Buddy can only hold in his pee for about nine hours.“ A chuckle left the black haired girls mouth and Sykkuno laughed. 

„It’s his usual sleep duration“ Imogen looked at her wristwatch. „Dang, Sykk… I’m sorry but I really need to hang up. I definitely need to get ready. Sorry Bub!“ The YouTuber on the other line laughed. „It’s okay, Imogen. Get ready. Text me once you’re boarded and in case you need anything!“ 

Imogen grinned. „Thank you Sykkuno. Really, thank you!“ She said her goodbyes and hung up. Looking at the watch one more time, she took a deep breath. 

Imogen stood up and put her phone on her desk before rushing to the pile of clothes she decided to wear for the journey. She decided on a simple black skinny jean and an oversized black print tee. 

It was one of her go-to outfits and one she felt the most comfortable with. Even if people on the internet were sometimes thirsting over her posts and pictures; she still didn’t give them thirst traps by choice.

 She would’ve never imagined people nutting over her posting a picture of her legs covered in cuts and bruises. 

Imogen never thought people would find her scars hot. And she always exclaimed in her videos, that it wasn’t pretty, that she wasn’t romanticizing her illness. She wanted to spread awareness that it was be ugly. That’s why she posted pictures of her legs. 

She wanted to show, that it wasn’t pretty, having legs covered in self-inflicted cuts and bruises. But people still thought it was hot and edgy because she dressed like that. 

Imogen straightened her hair and checked herself in the mirror. Her eyeliner had the perfect wing and her usually dark eyebags weren’t as prominent as usually. 

She took a deep breath. „Americas… here I come…“ she looked at her dog, before taking her phone and posting one more tweet, before getting ready to head up to Dublin for her first flight of the day.

to be continued...

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