#i wanted?? to draw more this week?? but i was falling behind in my classes then got sick OTL

[totally-here]

dpxdc twins au except it's no-pulse flavored

Bart’s new roommate looks a lot like Tim. 

Like, suspiciously like Tim. 

Danny’s the same height, has the same shape of nose, same shade of hair, and even frowns like him. He would have been a perfect copy if he acted more like Tim, but Danny definitely holds himself looser than Bart’s ever seen Tim. 

But he still has his face. So, obviously, Bart has to investigate. Maybe he’s a clone, or a shapeshifter, or maybe one of the Gotham rogues decided to get facial reconstruction surgery to look like him, and this was all a ploy. 

Okay, probably not that last one. Bart doesn’t think Tim’s enemies know his identity. 

Anyway, investigation! Bart’ll figure this out himself, and deal with it if Danny needs to be dealt with. And the investigation will start right after he comes up with an excuse as to why he’s back in their third floor apartment when he passed Danny in the hallway a few seconds before. 

Danny stares at him, and Bart stares back. 

“Must’ve been a doppelganger!” Bart blurts out. 

Danny’s silent for a second before nodding enthusiastically and noting that everyone's supposed to have like seven in the world anyway and wow what a wild coincidence that there’s one in their building. 

Bart extends the same courtesy when a week later he walks in on Danny with an iced over pan on the stove. Danny says they should really get their freezer checked out and Bart agrees and asks if he can use the ice for a painting study. 

(They never get their freezer checked.)

Bart finds that Danny’s great at setting up fun things for him to draw, whether he knows it or not. Like the ice, or his collection of rocks, his astronomy textbooks with the pretty covers, his gestures as he rants about his classes, the excited glint in his eyes when he’s talking about his next repair project and how his eyes almost look like they glow in the right light. 

Hm. A good portion of his sketchbook is drawings of Danny, and yet he’s still having trouble with getting the right blue for his eyes. At first glance they’re Tim’s shade of blue, but when he keeps looking they seem to get lighter. Maybe greener?

He should probably stop staring into his friend’s eyes. 

Well, maybe not. Danny doesn’t seem to mind. 

Just like he doesn’t mind when they started regularly sitting very close on the couch, or falling asleep together, or Bart borrowing some of his jackets, or-

Okay, Bart’s kinda seeing a pattern. He and Danny should really have a conversation about if this is platonic behavior or not. 

But not right now, because Bart brought Danny across the river to raid Wally’s board game closet in Keystone. 

And Wally, who’s used to this, just passes by them with a, “Hey Bart, hey Tim.”

“Danny, not Tim,” Danny replies almost absent mindedly, then looks back at Wally, who’s also staring at him now. “Wait, you know Tim?”

“OhmyGod I was supposed to investigate!” Bart says, face palming. It just slipped his mind! And Danny was distracting him with his pretty face that he totally wears better than Tim!

“You know him too?” Danny asks. But he doesn’t look suspicious of them, more amused. 

“How do you know him?” Wally squints at Danny, eyes briefly catching Bart’s in question. 

“He’s my twin,” Danny answers easily. “The Drakes only wanted one kid, so they gave me to their friends the Fentons, who wanted a second one.” He shrugs and goes back to digging around the closet. “Tim and I were always in contact, though. Letters and phone calls and texting, you know?” 

He says it all so casually while Wally and Bart are sharing increasingly concerned looks behind his back. 

Do the Waynes know about Danny? Has Tim never brought him up? Why? Does Danny know about Red Robin? Does Tim-

“Holy shit does this mean Tim has ice powers too!?” 

Or: Tim and Danny are twins. Through a series of coincidences, the first people to find out that aren’t Fentons or Drakes are the flashes.

(This post was brought to you by me recently finishing the 1995 Impulse run, and wanting an excuse to share this panel:

Look they both got called twinks clearly they're soulmates)

[lady-ashfade]

Cantober: can you do Yandere class 1a doing a trick-or-treat contest!

🍬 Candy Competition 🍬

´*: ･ﾟ⋆˒ Yan!Class 1A x Gn!Reader

Fall Tober Day 2

WARNINGS: Yandere, Light-Hearted, Reader being tugged around, short but cute, rushed ending.

GENRA: Imagine/HC’s

WORDS: 1.5k

A/N: where have I been? That’s interesting- I had surprising surgery and it took all my motivation away, so I have been recovering from that….Yayyy

All weeks lead to this moment. All that time you spent putting on makeup in your mirror, saving to buy that costume, and time it spent to get it right- all came down to this moment.

“Has everyone brought a coat?” Iida shouts above your wailing classmates as they all express their excitement. It was a really nice sight to see everyone so happy and not at each other’s throats. The girls complementing one other on their costumes, taking pictures and hyping up the other. While the boys did the same, it was different. Like, some of them had fake weapons and decided to have a soft fight.

Izuku was dressed as…Of course it’s allmight but one of his old suits. He was explaining the lore to todoroki who stood there with a calm expression in a vampire outfit. It was plain, you knew he just walked into a store and then threw on whatever was in the packet. But, he looked lovely nonetheless.

“Love your costume,” a voice popped up from behind you, following with a pair of hands tugging on your outfit. Turning around you see a floating costume — Hagakure was speaking. You smile and slight shuffling away, hoping to not draw attention to leaning away from the touch.

“Thanks! It cost a lot but it was worth it!!” You shout and show it off with your hands as you giggle happily.

It took a minute to realize what she had on before your mouth started to squeak with excitement, “You’re costume is so perfect, it makes it more scary.” if she wasn’t invisible she would have turn a different shade by now. She was going as Raven from teen titans, it was cool to see it just floating and no one behind the hood.

“I also think you look wonderful” a shy but perky voice chirps. You look to the side and see koda with a shy look on his face, red tented cheeks and a avoided gaze. He was dressed up in a white lab coat, well more of a doctors coat plus all the equipment.

You giggled and reach for the bird on his shoulder who graciously allows you to pet its head, “Dr. Dolittle? A little on the nose,” as the bird pushes its head back into your hand while koda freaks out a bit, but you are quick to dismiss his embarrassment.

“Not a bad thing tho! I honestly like your costume, plus you have so many animals— it’s easily my favorite.”

Suddenly everyone went quiet, all eyes turned to you and you awkwardly shuffled. Tension filled the air and you dropped your hand from the bird who whined at the loss. “What? Why are you all staring at me?” It didn’t take but a few seconds before everyone crowned around you, pushing poor koda away before showing off their amazing costumes.

“What about me? You said you loved my costume,” Mina pouts her lips as she plays with her skirt. You quickly tried to comfort her, “So you think I look cute? Awe baby!!” She went to kiss you before Kaminari got in her place in front of you. 

“I’m a handsome devil!! Flynn Rider, from your fav Disney movie,” a week before this he begged you to be Rapunzel and even though you declined he still kept the costume. He heard you say flynn was hot, so obviously you think he’s hot now. “Don’t fight it, or the smolder.” And he pulls out the exact face flynn does in the movie….How long did he practice that?

“You helped me make the costume,” Shouji lift up his shoulders and moves is arms- he was Doc Ock. And you did help him when he asked, honestly you picked it out for him. Once you suggested it and he planned on doing what you wanted.

“I believe I get a chance to speak,” Todoroki raises his hand amongst the crowd before people talk over him.

They are all shouting now, each one of them getting pushed, many hands tried to grab you, and yet when they tried to kiss you or flirt it went over your head because something else was happening.

“Everyone stop yelling!” A loud and annoyed voice echoes over everyone, making the whole class stop and straighten up. You sigh in relief, thanking your teacher in your mind for saving you. “Everyone pay attention, you have two hours to complete this area. Who ever gets the most candy wins.”

As usual, The Dekusquad pair up, along with the Dakusquad and the more chill ones group together. “What do we win?” Denki asks while everyone nods.

“Two tickets to see F/B.” Mic pops out of nowhere and announces the prize. You let out a streak of excitement and everyone turns.

“I’m winning this thing!” your obsessed classmate glare at each other, there was only one way to get this right- is to make sure you win! Or, win themselves and take you — either way they wanna play tug of war for your attention.

Everyone including you lined up at the gates and you noticed a timer above the arch. It looks real, you think as you stare at the fake town in front of you. It was to dangerous to have the whole school in the city when you guys seem to have targets on your back, so they built a whole small city inside the USJ!! You heard that some parents are here, actors and even pro!heros who have the time to spare.

As the clock counted down in the tenths you started to fiddle, same as your classmates while getting impatient. “Good luck everyone! Sorry if I happened to get competitive.” you shout just before the time loudly goes off.

You expected to get trampled over so you started to run but the area around you changed.

You were in the middle of the street!! Fake houses to your every turn, Halloween decorations in the small yards. “What hero can transport?” it was a question that you shake off before heading to the house on your left.

Somewhere in the distance your classmates cause hell to find you, and get as much candy as they can to win.

“Two lollipops? What are you, cheap?” Katsuki yells at the old lady who opened the door, his friends awkwardly shuffling in the back. Kirishima tugged him by the back collar away from the lady and back to the path.

“Can’t yell at people man! What would y/n say? So unmanly.” kats just huffs at his best friend and pulls away from his grip. All things considered they have been doing well, their bags are getting full and heavy.

“Look who I found?” A feminine voice speaks out, making the boys turn back around. They see you tripping over your shoes as Mina gives you a little nudge closer.

“Mina,” you whine, “I love hanging out but I have to win! This is F/S we are talking about here, I would sell my soul to get tickets.” You try to stray away from them but they block you.

“We can woke together! It’s no different then going alone.” Denki was at your side and placed his arm around you, getting himself shocked at the touch of you.

“We have so much candy, wouldn’t you like to join in? We have more then you!” Sero tries to manipulate you into staying.

So you sigh and let them take you to the other houses, and soon enough your bag is full but you try and push the candy down to make more room.

“I can’t believe you guys,” you smile, “If I win, I am for sure taking one of you!!”

Green Flash.

The place you were standing in is now empty and no sign of you, a gust of wind shakes their clothes and hair. There was only one person who could have made that struck of green energy…

“Deku!” Katsuki shouts but he wasn’t heard by the corporate.

The Dekusquad had taken you and had no plan of letting you go, they only have ten minutes left to make sure you, or themselves won. And they would be damned if they let anyone else win.

“Come on darling,” a hand stroked your cheek and made your eyes open. You saw shoto looking at you, while izuku held you in his arms. “Can’t win if you have your eyes closed.”

“Yeah!” Shoto was pushed aside by a overly excited Ochako. “We wanted to help you win, we already have three full bags.” Iida, Shoto, and Froppy held up the full bags and your eyes go wide.

“Izuku, you can put me down now.” he was quickly to apologize and let you down, turning bright red and looked shameful.

“Next time warn me,” you get a feel for standing again as iida helps you stand straight without getting dizzy.

Over all you had a amazing time with your friends even if they weren’t easy to handle. And when you walked back into the gates, there was a chance of winning. Thought you didn’t win first place, the dekusquad did and promised you the tickets…

“What, which one of us gets to go…”

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: 365 days | pgw

summary | the first year of your relationship with park gunwook, quantified by 12 separate events.

genre | park gunwook x fem!reader, high school!au, very slice of life, fluff, angst, y/n is bisexual, roughly 1 month has passed in between every part

warnings | jealousy + attempted sabotage, the horrors of girlhood (insecurity, slight mention of beauty standards, comparison)

wc | 12.7k

a/n: if you listen close enough you can hear me screaming in agony ++ can someone please remind me how to think up ideas that don't require several thousands of words

ft. youngeun and yeseo from kep1, boys planet/redstartz junhyeon, ppl i made up

i. confession

Tears bunch in your eyes as you sit behind your school building, the intensifying heat of spring embracing you like a warm hug. You feel devastated like someone had just stabbed you through the heart and left you to bleed.

“I think you’re overreacting, [First].” Youngeun’s voice is gravelly over the phone yet still uneasy, overall impacted by the sound of her gym class. Yeseo, who’s sitting next to you, hummed, although you weren’t sure if she was agreeing with Youngeun or not. “I mean, is it so bad he knows? It was bound to happen, probably.”

“Well, no, it wasn’t,” you stuttered, trying to keep the urge to sob and scream at bay. “And, to be fair, that’s not what I’m worried about. I’m worried about what else Yukyung was telling people without me knowing.”

Youngeun begins to speak but doesn’t get more out than a squeak, and you can almost imagine her opening and closing her mouth in an instant. Yeseo picks up the slack, saying, “Well, it’s worse to assume than to deal with the facts. Yukyung, for whatever reason, told Gunwook about your crush on him and showed him the texts, and it’s getting out among our classmates. In my opinion, there’s one course of action you should take.”

“Which is?”

“Youngeun tells Gunwook that you want to talk to him after school, and then you talk to him after school.”

You groaned audibly and Youngeun gasped, presumably in horror. You stared at her in exasperation, letting a single tear fall down your face. Yeseo wiped it off with her cardigan’s sleeve, frowning at you. “I mean, the worst that could happen is that he doesn’t feel the same way and you feel embarrassed for a couple of months. And we all unfriended Yukyung pretty much instantly, so she won’t be around anymore.”

“Doesn’t matter, still happened,” you replied. “I don’t want to see him ever again. I’d rather die than see him again.”

Yeseo put a hand on your back, while Youngeun yelped at the sound of a basketball hitting the closet she was hiding in. “I’ll ask him, and you’re gonna do it, [First]. You can’t skip a week of school during the first week of school.”

“Who said I was going to skip?”

“Every time you’re minorly embarrassed by something you skip school,” Yeseo said, looking at you like you were insane. “Like that one time you got a bad score on our math midterms during our first year and the teacher asked you what happened in front of everyone, so you skipped 2 days and sulked in your room.”

“That was warranted,” Youngeun commented, which caused Yeseo to glare at the phone. “But! Not the point. For all you know, Gunwook could like you back, and you’ll be able to say you had a boyfriend in high school. Right?”

“The chances of that are incredibly low,” you whined, drawing your knees up to your chest and burying your head in between them. “We’ve barely even talked. We just sit kind of next to each other during our cram classes, and that’s it.”

“He could be delusional too!”

“Are you calling me delusional?”

“The bell is about to ring,” Yeseo cut in, grabbing your phone out of your hands. You immediately popped out of your fetal position, reaching for it as quickly as you could. “Youngeun, leave the supply closet and ask him, please. Pick a location and text the groupchat. [First] and I have to go back to the classroom so we don’t get in trouble for skipping our study block.”

With that, she hung up and left you to your devices. The day passed agonizingly slowly after that, and you found yourself struggling to focus on anything your teacher said. At some point during your study block, Yukyung had left, leaving you alone at your desk with no seatmate to annoy or watch (not that you wanted her there, anyway) for the day. That was likely out of embarrassment, too, as now your classmates, who generally liked you, weren’t as sure on how to deal with the newfound information.

The only other thing worth noting was that, during your 5-minute break in between classes, Yeseo told your homeroom teacher what happened and she approved you switching hers and Yukyung’s desks after school, but, other than that, you felt your sanity whittling away by the minute.

Youngeun had haphazardly chosen a tree behind the gym, typically reserved for successful confessions, because she’d been staring at it out the window as she talked to Gunwook (which she described as the scariest conversation of her life) and didn’t know where else would work.

According to her, he’d blushed as she asked, accepting on the pretense that it wouldn’t take long because he promised his older brother that he’d get dinner with him that night. Initially, you lamented over the fact that you wouldn’t have anyone to stare at during your after-school classes, but it quickly dawned on you that he thought you were going to confess to him (which was true—you were going to confess to him).

Then, when you got done with class for the day, one of your classmates—Gyuvin—hit you on the shoulder on the way out with a quick “good luck!”

It took Yeseo dragging you to the gym and offering you $20 and a free fun drink afterward for you to get used to the idea you were doing this, and about another 3 minutes of you panicking at her in a hushed whisper while she told you to get over yourself. Then, Youngeun sprinted over, panting and still half in her gym clothes.

“You didn’t change after gym?”

“Not the focus! You’re actively making him wait!” she choked out, apparently exhausted from her mad dash. You rolled your eyes, dropping your bag down next to them and taking a deep breath.

“If I throw up on him, I’m going to kill you.”

With that, you began your death march to the tree, where Gunwook stood, scrolling through his phone. The sight of him made your stomach explode with butterflies, which you tried to shut down given your (supposed) fate of rejection. You were mentally preparing yourself to be in turmoil for the next few days, but deep down, all you wanted was to rewind time to when you told Yukyung about your silly, little crush and stop it from ever happening.

Your crush on Gunwook was never meant to go anywhere but your brain, and now you were walking up to him, about to pour out feelings that were half-manufactured by Yukyung convincing there was a future that would come with them.

“Hi,” you managed, causing Gunwook to spin around and shove his phone in his pocket.

“Hi,” he replied, scratching his neck as if he was unsure what to do with his hands. “Um, how are you?”

It was a stupid question, and you could tell he knew that. Of course you wouldn’t be doing well—one of your best friends told the entire world (him, and then one of his friends leaked it to the rest of the school) your entire life story (a single crush).

“Could be better.”

“Yeah.”

You looked off to the side, seeing Gyuvin and Junhyeon, who you knew were close to him, watching from a second-story window in the school building. You tried to ignore it, but you knew you’d hyperfocus on it now.

“Look, I’m sorry,” you finally breathed out, twiddling your thumbs. “Yukyung—I don’t know what to say that you don’t already know. I guess I have a bit of a crush on you. Sorry.”

“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” he asked, sounding genuinely perplexed. You looked back up at him, shrugging.

“Well, it’s weird. We don’t really know each other, and then a girl you don’t know very well is suddenly telling you that I’m head over heels for you.”

“You’re not?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it that way, no. Just a crush. Not much else.”

You thought there would be a weight off your shoulders once you managed to say it to his face, but it was, quite literally, the opposite. Your stomach was tightening up and your throat was closing, but you didn’t move, just staring him in the face.

“So it would be awkward if I professed my undying love for you right now.”

You flinched at that, frowning. “That was kind of mean.”

Gunwook’s face dropped when you said that, and he shook his head rapidly. “No, not—I wasn’t making fun of you, I swear. I promise. It was a bad way of saying I have a crush on you too. Sorry. Uncalled for. Didn’t mean it.”

The words fell from his mouth like an avalanche, and all you could do was stare at him in awe. “Wait, really? Why?”

“Why? I don’t know. We spend a lot of time together, even if we don’t talk often,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “We were in the same class for our first year, then we started at the same cram school, and now we sit near each other. You’re entertaining to watch when you’re taking notes.”

“You stare at me in class?” you asked, genuinely shocked at his admission. You thought you stared at him enough during the same classes that it was impossible he could’ve been doing the same thing. Apparently, he was good at catching you when you weren’t watching his every move. “Creep.”

“Like you don’t? If I’m a creep, what are you? You’re way worse than I am,” he replied. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. What now?”

You tapped your chin, looking back over at the window Gyuvin and Junhyeon had been in. They were gone now, presumably to meet Gunwook when your conversation was over. “We could try being a ‘thing.’”

“A thing?”

“I don’t think we know each other well enough for like—I don’t know, for me to call you boyfriend,” you replied. “So we can just be a ‘thing.’ No strings attached! And we can go on a date or two. Maybe.”

“A date or two? Whereabouts?”

You smiled, and he did too; you were shocked at how well he managed to goad information out of you. You tended to say things but never follow up on them, not unless you were pestered over and over again—it had taken Yeseo nearly a year to get it down.

“Do you like the zoo? Recently, I’ve been wanting to go to the zoo. They have a new baby bear—cub?—that I wanna see. Perhaps on Sunday? Are you free then?”

“I might be free on Sunday,” he said, handing his phone out of his pocket. He unlocked it, pressing a couple of buttons before handing it to you with an empty contact screen open. “How about we talk about it later? I’m late for meeting my brother.”

You typed in your name and number, sending yourself a quick text so you’d be able to initiate if you felt he didn’t text you fast enough. “Sounds good to me. I’ll see you later. Tell your brother I said hello.”

“Okay, sounds good,” Gunwook chuckled. He reached out and ruffled your hair, giving you a wide, bright smile that could’ve overpowered the sun if he tried hard enough. “I’ll see you later, so we can start our ‘thing.’”

“Yup, bye-bye. See you tomorrow.”

ii. lunchtime

You and Gunwook, mostly on purpose, don’t spend a lot of time together at school. Sometimes, you say hi and smile at him when you walk into his classroom to grab Youngeun, but, other than that, you keep it separate.

For one thing, it makes it easier to keep it “no strings attached,” as you’d proclaimed the day Yukyung briefly ruined your life, but it also was somewhat fun for you and him to not address what happened. Thanks to Gyuvin, half—if not all—of your grade had heard about it, and someone had spotted the both of you under that god-forsaken tree, but you hadn’t said a thing.

For you two, it was like nothing had happened, and, for everyone else, it was like a bomb they were just hoping would go off. It was fun—like you were living out a cliche, teen drama.

So, when Gunwook sauntered into your classroom in the middle of your lunch period, proudly holding a bottle of special juice you briefly talked about wanting, you were somewhat shocked. For the most part, you weren’t mentally prepped to interact with him during the day, especially as Yukyung watched on with her new couple of friends from the corner of the room.

You, Youngeun, and Yeseo stared at him as he approached, Gyuvin following close behind. He put the drink down in front of you, a proud smile on his face. “Look,” he said, gesturing towards it, so you looked. It was a brand of juice—they advertised it as a “smoothie,” but it was just slightly thicker juice—that you’d enjoyed a lot on a trip to the United States that you’d gone on a while back.

You hadn’t seen it once in Korea, even after taking Yeseo with you to search for it for hours. “Where in the world did you get this?” you spluttered out, picking it up. It was chilled, too, as if he’d been keeping it in a refrigerator (or, an insulated lunch box with an ice pack in it).

“He didn’t,” Gyuvin snorted, putting an arm around Gunwook’s shoulder. “Junhyeon did while he was in Busan this weekend.”

Gunwook hit him hard on the chest, clearing his throat. “Do you like it? Are you excited?”

“The right flavor and everything,” you replied, a surge of joy running through you. “Thank Junhyeon for me, okay?”

Gunwook scoffed, mumbling, “It’s not like I didn’t pay him back twice the price or anything,” under his breath. You held up your fist, to which Gunwook stared at it, somewhat dumbfounded.

“What?”

“You want a fist bump from me?” he asked incredulously. You nodded, exaggerating the movements to make it seem like he was missing the obvious. So, he bumped your fist with his, shaking his head. “See you after school, [First].”

“Yup, I’ll see you.”

And you watched him walk out, Gyuvin in tow—and, from the corner of your eye, you saw Yukyung watching his every move, up until he left the classroom.

iii. field trip

The third-year field trip was something you’d looked forward to for a long time—as a way to force students to take a break from their studying, your school sent all the first years to some fun location, paying for most of it with donations they got from alumni and parents.

This year, they’d had the bright idea to send you all to Hawaii, which had been both shocking and exciting. The farthest they’d ever sent anyone was Jeju, and that was a few years ago; but, they’d got some huge donation this year and decided to splurge.

So far, the trip had been fun, for the most part. On the airplane, you’d forced Gunwook to sit next to you so that you could hold his hand every time the plane shook (he’d laughed at you over your fear of turbulence, but you were too aware of the fact that he was rubbing your hand with his thumb to care). Almost all of your classmates, to whom you had not disclosed the nature of your “thing” yet, had stared at you every time they walked past. About halfway through, Youngeun, who’d volunteered to be the third wheel, leaned over and told you she was pretty sure the news was making its way down the plane, and people were getting up to fact-check it for the row members.

“That’s stupid,” Gunwook laughed, pulling your hand onto his tray table. “Doesn’t everyone know [First] is just afraid of planes? Nothing else going on here, not at all.”

Then Yeseo had popped her head above her seat and turned around to face you, an eyebrow raised. “Have you two kissed yet?” she’d asked out of nowhere, to which you shrugged.

“Why would we kiss when nothing is going on?”

Then, upon arrival, you and Gunwook had sat next to one another on the bus to the hotel, to which you’d promptly fallen asleep on his shoulder (since you didn’t sleep much on the plane) for the entire ride. You woke up to him holding your hand again, scrolling through his phone haphazardly.

After that, you’d had all eyes on the both of you—when you got to the hotel, while you were listening to your teachers give instructions, while keys were being handed out. And, as a result of what you assumed was anxiety over not knowing English, Gunwook and his two friends, Junhyeon and Gyuvin, followed you, Yeseo, and Youngeun around for the entire trip.

Then, on the third day of the trip, Gunwook asked if you’d want to go on a date with him. The idea was silly to you—not because you didn’t want to, but because you were two teenagers going on a date on your almost-all-expenses-paid trip to Hawaii.

That’s what you were doing now. It was the day before you were to head back home, and Gunwook had, for lack of a better word, taken you out. To a fancy restaurant—where he made you translate the entire menu and order for him—and to get some sort of fancy pineapple dessert afterward. Now, you were strolling on the beach, watching the sun fall below the horizon slowly but surely.

“How much longer until curfew?” you asked, turning around to face him. You continued walking backward, lacing your hands together behind your back.

“About half an hour. We’re close enough to the hotel that we don’t have to start walking back now, but we should think about it soon.”

You hummed, stopping abruptly. You faced the shoreline, listening to the sound of the waves draw in and out like breaths from a sleeping person. It was so alive, yet not at the same time, and it mesmerized you; you’d never seen an ocean like this before.

“You look pretty tonight,” he mused, staring at you rather than the ocean. You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the comment.

“Look at yourself in the mirror.”

“I’m not pretty, I’m beautiful, thank you very much.”

A question was bubbling up in your throat now, much like the water in front of you. You felt a surge of anxiety wash through your stomach, and you were mentally transported back to that tree from a couple of months ago. The pure embarrassment you felt was gone and replaced with a sort of hope that was more painful than uplifting, as if it was a glass cup teetering on the edge of a table.

“I have a question,” you started, banishing the unease from your stomach.

“Oh, yeah?” he asked, raising his eyebrow. He wouldn’t look away from you, no matter how much you tried to focus on the sight in front of you. A crooked smile bloomed on his face which should’ve quelled your worries in an instant, but, for some reason, it only made them worse. “I suppose I have an answer for you.”

“Do you?”

“I just might, if you manage to ask the question.”

“Okay, here I go,” you said, mustering up all your courage and turning to face him. His eyes sparkled in the sunlight, and you immediately felt discouraged just looking at him. He was right—he was beautiful, almost impossibly so. Yet, here you were, boring and average, barely even able to hold a T to him. Plus, the only reason you were even here was because someone you’d considered a best friend had told him you liked him, and now you were getting into your head over something that was long over.

His smile dropped a bit when he (most likely) realized you were panicking a bit, but he didn’t say anything, simply waiting patiently for you to continue. You forced yourself to regain focus, shaking your head as the image of Yukyung permeated in your mind. He grabbed both of your hands as a way to help soothe the worry, and it worked as well as it could, pulling you back into reality.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend, maybe?” you finally asked, watching as his face lit up against the sun.

“Do I?” he asked back, allowing himself to smile fully. “This is the best question I’ve ever been asked. Seriously.”

“Seriously?”

Gunwook giggled, swinging your hands around a bit. “Can I kiss you? Pretty please?”

“Can you?” you mimicked, feeling the heat rising in your cheeks. Gunwook giggled again, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips. It was slow and sweet, his lips soft and tasting slightly of the pineapple you’d had earlier. He laughed and smiled through the entire thing, squeezing your hands in delight before letting go and wrapping his hands around your waist. As cliche as it was, you draped your hands around his neck, starting to giggle too.

When he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours, still chuckling in delight. “This is so exciting,” he said, rocking you back and forth on the sand. “I’m so excited. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for my entire life, you know? Even if I’ve only known you for three years. I can’t explain it—it’s unexplainable. I’m so excited.”

“You know what, I’m getting the idea you might be excited.”

And Gunwook shut you up with another elated kiss, ending your night in an impenetrable wall of pure joy.

iv. sleepover

Your parents were adventurers and you decidedly weren’t, which often meant you had your house to yourself. It was nice, mostly because it allowed you to spread out all your study stuff on the dining room table and do all of your work right then and there without your parents talking to you every 20 seconds.

Sometimes, though, things didn’t go as planned, and you had to do things you didn’t want to do. Namely, spend the night in the house completely alone. Every creak or thump made your heart beat out of your chest, which ended up in you taking a knife and a flashlight through the entire house with the emergency number pre-dialed.

Oftentimes, it ended with you not sleeping and then having to miss school because of over-exhaustion.

You were sitting in your living room while on the phone with Gunwook (he claimed you were moral support for his studying) when your mom texted you, the message starting with a bunch of emojis, which was her way of beginning a message with bad news.

“Oh god,” you said, cutting through the hour-long silence you’d maintained with your boyfriend.

“Huh? What’s up?”

“My mom texted me. There’s some huge accident on the freeway, so they’ve got the entire thing blocked off. Traffic is awful on other routes so they’re just going to pull off to a motel and sleep there tonight.”

“Oh no,” he said, and you could tell he was preoccupied with whatever math problem he was doing. “House to yourself, I guess?”

“I’m glad it’s Saturday,” you said, frowning. “I’m not gonna get any sleep tonight.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t like being completely alone in the house. I’m convinced someone’s gonna come in and kill me.”

“Hmm,” Gunwook hummed, pausing briefly. “I could come over and stay the night? I’ll leave early in the morning so they don’t find out I was there.”

Realistically, you knew you should say no because the chance of your parents finding out about Gunwook terrified you, but you had poor judgment and liked your boyfriend too much to turn down seeing him. “Would you actually? It’s kind of late, and I wouldn’t want to make you walk that much in the dark.”

“It’s not that far of a walk,” he said, and you could hear him packing his school stuff already. The sound of pencils clinking against pencils and books closing made you feel all warm and fuzzy—instead of studying for the test that was going to decide his fate as an adult, he was coming to make sure you felt comfortable and safe.

“Oh yeah, because 30 minutes is ‘not that far.’ Just get it over with and tell me you’re in love with me.”

Gunwook cleared his throat at your quip, choking on air. You snickered, finding how flustered he got at the “L-word” quite cute (as if you wouldn’t do the same thing). “I’ll be there shortly.”

He hung up the phone without saying bye, most likely out of embarrassment, which made you feel proud of yourself. And, true to his word, he showed up about fifty minutes later, balancing his school backpack on one arm and another bag on the other. “Do you know how hard it is to jump out of your window with two bags?” he asked, walking into your house as if it was his own. You wondered if he cared about the fact that he’d never actually been inside before, given he’d only ever walked you home, but you assumed his unwillingness to do his usual hello-and-hug meant he was somewhat flustered by it.

“Are you moving in, or something? What’s in the bags?”

“Well, I can’t stay the night without all my nighttime stuff,” he huffed, breezing past you and dropping his bags off next to the stairs. You watched him look around frantically, and you somewhat assumed that he’d hung up on you because he’d realized what exactly he had suggested and had no way of backing out of it now (you hoped he hadn’t even thought about backing out).

“You’re such a diva,” you scoffed, shuffling back into your living room and returning to your position on the couch. He sat next to you, leaning against the armrest and putting his legs on top of yours. You rolled your eyes, picking up the remote and pressing play.

“So, what are we watching?”

“Whatever romcom was playing when I turned the TV on,” you replied, keeping your focus on the screen. Suddenly you were feeling embarrassed even though you’d been feeling so egotistical a second ago, as you were realizing you were in more danger here than he was. He’d successfully snuck out (or so he said, but you were pretty sure he probably told his mom and then snuck out the window to avoid his dad finding out), but your parents lived here, and if they got here before you were expecting them, it was over for you.

It dawned on you that you needed to find out when they were planning on getting back, so you wrenched your phone out of your pocket, furiously typing to your mother. Gunwook noticed, pointing at you and laughing. “You were so high and mighty a second ago, and now look at you. Somebody realized they’re going to be in bigger shit than I am.”

“Shut your mouth,” you hissed, watching the little bubble that indicated your mom was typing.

“Maybe we should send her a selfie, huh? Just so she knows a random teenage boy that she doesn’t know is in her house,” Gunwook continued, sucking all of the confidence you’d once had out of the air. “She’d be super excited, right?”

“If you’re not out of my house by 5:30 tomorrow morning, I’m going to break up with you,” you announced, glaring at him. He made a face at you, shaking his head.

“Be glad I like you so much. Waking up at 5:30 is brutal. I didn’t even do that when Gyuvin got his appendix out and texted me thirty times to ask if I’d be there when he got out of surgery.”

“You liar, Gyuvin literally told me that you showed up with flowers and a get-well-soon card.”

Gunwook blushed at that, clearing his throat. “Okay, whatever, fine. Let’s just watch the movie.”

The two of you got about twenty minutes of the romcom in before he checked the time and announced that you were both going to sleep. You said he could go on his own—midnight was early for both of you, and you weren’t the one waking up at 5:30—but he got all whiney, turning the TV off and picking you up from the couch.

You’d gone through the motions of your nighttime routine together, with Gunwook’s being about fifty steps longer than yours. You ended up sitting on the floor while he put on a million serums and waited thirty minutes in between each one, claiming it was to “let each product soak into his skin.”

You texted Youngeun and Yeseo about it, not thinking about the implications behind waiting for him to finish his skincare routine. Immediately, they began blowing up your phone, and you promptly muted your group chat and their individual text threads, not wanting to deal with the onslaught of questions they were likely unleashing onto you.

Then, you looked up to see Gunwook putting on a lip mask. Knowing it was probably the last step in his routine, you hopped up from the floor, staring at the small, pink container that the gel lived in. “Oh, I’ve always wanted to try that out,” you said, not thinking about it too hard. “Is it nice? Does it work?”

“Shouldn’t you know better than anyone whether it works or not?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. You slapped him hard on the shoulder, causing him to yelp in pain. “Okay, geez, yes, it works. Do you want to try some?”

“Oh, can I—”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Gunwook leaned down and kissed you somewhat hard, almost causing you to stumble back a bit. Either way, you almost immediately broke it off, incredibly flustered at the act. You slapped him again, although this time it was a million times weaker. “You’re so stupid, oh my god, you cliche loser.”

“Be grateful I was willing to give you any, this stuff is expensive,” Gunwook said, cackling. He put a bit more on his finger, rubbing it into his lips to compensate for what he lost from kissing you. “I thought you liked kissing me, no?”

“I also like the thought of you getting hit by a train. These things aren’t mutually exclusive,” you huffed, looking to the side. “Whatever. I’m going to my room.”

“Ooh, me too,” he said, draping an arm around your shoulders as you walked past him. He kept himself in step with you, flicking the bathroom light switch off as you both exited the room.

“Who said we’re sleeping in the same room?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. Gunwook laughed in your face, causing you to frown.

“Okay, sure, but one noise and you’ll be prancing into the guest room like a scared dog.” “Who said I had a guest room? Go to the couch.” You wiggled out from under his arm, opening the door to your bedroom and flicking the lights on. Gunwook continued following after you, but quickly walked past you and climbed under the duvet on your bed. Somehow, he’d already plugged his phone in and put his bags neatly in the corner of your room—it must’ve been when he walked out to grab his toner pads from his bag—and had settled into your bedroom quite nicely. You stared at him in awe as he yawned, patting the bed next to him.

“It’s bedtime.”

“For you.”

He laughed at you again, patting the bed once more. You shut your bedroom door behind you, turning your phone’s flashlight on and turning the lights off as soon as they’d come on. You shuffled over to the bed, sliding in next to him and cuddling up to him. He reciprocated, putting an arm on your waist and giggling.

“You giggle too much.”

“Good night, [First]. I won’t wake you up tomorrow morning, but I’ll be out by 5:30. Promise.”

Even though you weren’t tired, you fell asleep like a baby next to Gunwook, basking in the warmth he brought. You were pretty sure you’d fallen asleep before him, actually, but you swore up and down it was because he’d been humming to you and rubbing your back in a way that was more relaxing than you would’ve liked it to be.

So, when you woke up the next morning, the sun barely peeking through your curtains, to find him gone, you felt relief. You groaned, turning over to search for your phone, which was, as always, placed on your bedside table.

You picked it up, barely being able to make out the time—5:01 am. Huh, you thought, frowning. He left earlier than he needed.

And then you looked at your notifications—three texts from your mother.

2:34 am—Hi honey, the motel was uncomfortable and we couldn’t sleep, so we’re getting an early start. I know you get paranoid, and I hope you’re not awake, but texting to let you know just in case you are. Should be there about 4:30.

3:47 am—Update, we’ve hit some early traffic, so probably closer to 4:45. It might still be 4:30 if we’re lucky.

Finally, 4:11 am—We got lucky!!! We’ll be there in 10. Assuming you’re asleep…am glad. Can’t wait to be in my own bed.

You shot up from your bed, suddenly feeling more awake than you’d ever been in your life. With what little sunlight there was, you looked to the corner of the room, clearly seeing two black bags that didn’t belong to you. Then, an extra phone on your nightstand.

Panic set in. You, as quietly as you could, got out of bed, shuffling to the door. With a hand haphazardly placed on the knob, you pulled your door open, cringing at even the slightest of noises. You heard the sound of a glass hitting your table downstairs, and you felt like crying.

Slowly, you tiptoed down the stairs, catching sight of Gunwook, blue sweater on and exhaustion written on his face, sitting across from both of your parents. Breakfast was ready on the table, and Gunwook had a full plate in front of him, but it had barely been touched.

He noticed you first, looking up at you from the table. He looked violently uncomfortable, pleading for you to come save him, and you just about turned around and went back to your room.

“[First],” your dad said, turning his head to look at you. “Why don’t you come join us? I suppose you have a few things to explain.”

v. ice cream

You loved summer for a multitude of reasons—the lack of school, the increase in fun treats, and the overall happiness that came upon everyone during your one month off of responsibility. So, when you caught wind of a fair opening up, you knew you couldn’t pass up going.

Your first invites were Yeseo and Youngeun, since the three of you always spent your summers at amusement parks and pop-ups. But, they’d had the bright idea to invite along your boyfriend and his couple of friends—it would be okay, they said, since there’s three of you and three of them. So, you did, and you were entirely grateful that you had.

You didn’t know Gyuvin or Junhyeon very well before today; Gyuvin tended to follow Gunwook around, and Junhyeon had bought you juice once upon a time, but that was about it. It was the same for Gunwook and your couple of friends, as the most they’d interacted with him was on your plane ride to Hawaii.

Seeing your friends getting along with his warmed your heart, and it had put together a day you would never forget, most likely. About twenty minutes ago, your four accompaniments had made up some excuse as to why they needed to separate from the two of you, which had left you strolling through the fair as the sun was beginning to set.

The sky had erupted into a million different colors, namely pinks and purples, which you were particularly enamored by. You’d endearingly linked your arm with Gunwook’s and you’d been walking through the local artist alley that they’d put up.

“I’m glad it’s cooling down,” you said, staring at a booth where a woman was showing off all of her handmade jewelry pieces, which you found to be quite impressive. “As much fun as a fair is, it always sucks when it’s too hot to enjoy.”

“It wasn’t that hot today, though, was it?” he replied. “I mean, it got warm around 3, but that was just about it. I thought today was relatively tame compared to the rest of the week.”

“Okay, Fireboy, whatever you say. But, for the record, tame compared to the rest of the week doesn’t mean much when it was nearly 35° the other day,” you scoffed. Gunwook chuckled, and you looked over at him, intending on continuing to talk about the heat. But, a booth behind him caught your eye, distracting you from whatever you were planning on saying next.

You unlocked your arm from his, smiling mischievously at him. “Wait here,” you said excitedly, pulling your wallet out of your tote bag. You quickly walked over to the ice cream booth that you’d seen in the distance, the thought of how cold it would be tainting your mind. Even just a little bit of freedom from the heat was enough to sweep you off your feet, at this point.

“What would you like?” the server asked, to which you smiled at her, staring at the menu.

“Um, just two vanilla cones, please,” you said, realizing you had no clue what flavor of ice cream he’d even want. You hoped he didn’t have a terrible disdain for vanilla, but you doubted he did, given you’d never seen him actively dislike any food in your life. You got the amount of money it cost out of your wallet and placed it on the counter, shoving your wallet back in your bag.

The server handed them to you, and you thanked her, turning back around to hobble back to where you’d left Gunwook. And, as you did, you were met with quite possibly the worst sight in the world—he stood off to the side of the jewelry booth talking to someone. Namely, he was talking to Yukyung.

Of course she would be here—before she’d broken your trust, she tagged along on your summer adventures. She was your best friend once upon a time, and now, she was not much other than a bad memory, and she was talking to your boyfriend.

You didn’t know how to describe the feeling it evoked. It wasn’t jealousy—you knew what jealousy felt like, and this was too mellow and depressing to be jealousy. Yukyung looked gorgeous, as she always did, dressed in a pretty, flowy, red sundress that just barely brushed against the tops of her shoes. Her makeup was perfect and rosy to match the dress, and she’d braided white ribbon into her hair, which you thought made her look even more elegant than she had before.

Oh, you thought, biting your lip. This is inadequacy.

You watched them talk, and you watched the way she smiled and the way he seemed uncomfortable just from the way he stood. For a brief moment, you thought they even looked a bit good together, but that thought was quickly washed away when you felt ice cream drip onto your finger.

When you looked back up, she was gone, and Gunwook had gone back to lingering. You shook your head, jogging up to him with a smile. “Happy summer,” you said, handing it out to him. He smiled back at you, taking the ice cream cone from your hand.

“Thank you,” he said, taking a big bite straight from the top. You widened your eyes in shock and your face distorted into one of disgust.

“You bite ice cream?”

“And what about it? Do you have a problem with it?”

“Yeah, actually, I do. That’s weird and strange.”

“You know what else is weird and strange?”

“Huh?”

“The fact that you’re letting your ice cream melt all over your hand.”

vi. overwhelmed

You’re wondering how long you can get away with staying in the bathroom before someone notices that you’ve been gone for much longer than you were expecting. You hug your knees to your chest, playing a mindless game in hopes it’ll calm you down at least somewhat.

You knew this would happen at some point—every upperclassman you’d talked to told you that, in the months approaching your college entrance exams, your mental health would plummet. From panic attacks in the bathroom during math classes to not being able to fall asleep until four in the morning.

You just underestimated how much it sucked to feel like this in the first place. You’re no stranger to stress, that much is certain, but this was much more real. And, this sort of panic hit you anywhere and everywhere—including Gyuvin’s birthday party.

Briefly, you glanced at the time—8:02. You’d been in the bathroom for about 10 minutes, and nobody had come looking for you yet, which was good. The bad news was that you weren’t any closer to calming down and were feeling utterly helpless.

As if you’d jinxed yourself, Gunwook texted you at that very moment, asking where you’d gone. You half-assed your reply, saying you were still in the bathroom taking a break from the chaos, ignoring the temptation to ask him to come help you. It would be mean to Gyuvin and him—so, for the sake of your sanity, you’d stay quiet.

Meanwhile, Gunwook stood in one of Gyuvin’s hallways, staring at his phone. Junhyeon had followed him back as Gyuvin was well entertained by Ricky, who he hadn’t seen in nearly a year, and stood next to him, leaning against the wall.

“Things have been weird lately.” Gunwook frowned, reading over your text again and again. Junhyeon tilted his head inquisitively.

“Weird how?”

“Just…I don’t know, she’s been weirdly distant from time to time. Everything will be fine, and she’ll shut off with no warning. It happens no matter where we are, too—if we’re studying, if we’re walking home, if we’re eating dinner. It’s strange.”

“Could it just be test jitters? I know a lot of couples who broke up in anticipation of the test, with plans to get back together afterward. Like Yuna and Jaechan, in class 4. They did that.”

Gunwook’s frown deepend. “I don’t want to break up with her, though,” he sighed, watching as the typing bubble on your end appeared and disappeared. “Would it be weird to look for her? Like would she find that strange?”

“She probably walked off because she didn’t want to take you away from Gyuvin, but Ricky’s here now, so I don’t think it would be a bad idea, per se,” Junhyeon said, patting his shoulder. “But make sure she doesn’t feel bad taking you away from everything. I think Gyuvin would understand. And Ricky wants to meet her, so no harm in making sure nothing’s wrong.”

Gunwook bit the edge of his lip, shoving his phone into his pocket. Gunwook gave Junhyeon a pat on the shoulder, and he nodded, walking back toward the bulk of the party.

The bathroom was behind a bed sheet curtain that Gyuvin had hung up before the party, with a lame “do not enter” sign taped to it. He’d proceeded to give you, Gunwook, and Junhyeon special permission to break the rules, as the three of you had been in the house before and knew which rooms were okay to enter and which ones weren’t.

The door was closed and the light was on, which meant you’d gone out of your way to go to the off-limits bathroom, where Yeseo and Youngeun wouldn’t be able to find you. He frowned, raising his hand to knock on the door.

Then, he heard a small sniffle behind the door and stopped. Gunwook had never seen you cry—early into your relationship, you’d told him you weren’t a crier, and not many things pushed you to that point. At the time, it had been relieving, as he didn’t know you well enough to even attempt to comfort you.

But, now a good three months had passed, and he still had no clue what to do, which made him feel more stressed than relieved. Nevertheless, now that he knew, he couldn’t just leave you, so he knocked on the door.

Your response was, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Gunwook took that as an invitation to open the door, finding you sitting on the floor of Gyuvin’s bathroom while holding your phone. You weren’t crying, but he could tell you were close to it. He slipped inside, closing the door behind him, and sitting next to you on the ground.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, scooting closer to you so you’d be shoulder-to-shoulder. You shrugged, looking off to the side.

“I’m stressed. You know, with the college entrance exams and graduating stuff, the world is just a lot right now. I didn’t think it would hit here, though, but the number 18 being passed around made me think about it too much. It’s silly.”

“No, it’s not,” Gunwook replied. “It’s okay to be stressed out about something stressful, even if you’re at a birthday party. And it’s okay to tell me because Gyuvin’s friend came to surprise him after he moved to California, so he’s not upset that I’m gone. Okay?”

Your lip quivered a bit, and Gunwook put his arm around you, pressing you into his side. He rubbed your shoulder reassuringly as you sniffled again, obviously having to try harder to keep your feelings in.

At that moment, you wanted to spew everything at him. Your feelings of insecurity towards Yukyung, the stress you felt knowing he was going to get into some fancy university and you probably weren’t, how scary everything was right at this moment.

But, you stayed quiet and chose to burst into tears instead. The moment one tear escaped from your eye, the rest did, too, and you found yourself crying into Gunwook’s chest. He was rocking you back and forth, rubbing your back while you covered his shirt in your tears.

You felt miserable—if you could, you wanted to pause time, run outside, and scream. At what, you were unsure, but you needed it, more than you needed anything else in the entire world. You could only take this for so much longer.

“I’m here for you,” Gunwook whispered, squeezing you gently. “I’ll always be here, I promise.”

You took his words to heart.

vii. wisdom teeth

On day four of Gunwook’s wisdom-teeth recovery, you’d been asked to be his caregiver, which you were okay with. His mom, who was infinitely grateful that you’d offered to take care of her son, assured you that he was technically cleared to go back to normal after day 3, but he was still feeling a bit wonky, and his pain medicine enhanced the wonkiness.

Your jobs were as such: make soup or mashed potatoes when he asked, remind him to clean his wounds if he forgets, and hang out with him. You found the list quite easy and told his mom that you’d make sure he was all good and cared for.

You underestimated, however, how needy your boyfriend would be. The moment you’d walked into his bedroom to wake him up, he attached himself to you, whining about how much he’d missed you over the past few days. He spoke as if you’d gone off to war and left him behind with your nonexistent children, insisting that your absence had ruined his life.

After you managed to make him brush his teeth, spray salt water into his mouth, and eat his breakfast (a bowl of yogurt), he passed out on the couch, leaving you to do whatever seemed appealing at the moment. Initially, you spent your time scrolling through all the selfies he’d sent you of his face all swollen and puffy, which had got you giggling. Then, you had the bright idea to help 

You started by slightly cleaning his room up, feeling pretty good about yourself as you washed his clothes and his sheets. In your mind, you were building a resume to ensure his mom liked you, and you were going to earn extra affection from it, so you didn’t care about the repetitiveness at all.

About halfway through your cleaning adventures, Gunwook appeared in the doorway of his bedroom, staring at you folding the load of laundry you did. “How are you?” you asked, continuing to fold his t-shirts.

“Have I ever told you that you’re perfect?” he mumbled, shuffling over and draping himself onto you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and shoved his face into your neck, nearly knocking you over by putting his entire weight on you without warning.

“Only every day,” you replied, giggling. “Seriously though, how are you? Anything feel off or more painful than it did before you napped?”

“No,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to your neck. “Stop sounding like my mom. It’s weird.”

“What do you want me to say? ‘I hope you get dry socket?’”

“It’s better than mom-speak,” he replied. “She’s going to love you after today. Not gonna shut up about it.”

“That’s the entire reason that I’m doing all of this.”

“And not to help out your hurting boyfriend? You’re terrible.”

You scoffed, finishing folding the rest of his clothes. “Are you hungry?”

You patted his arm and Gunwook unattached himself from you, letting you turn around to face him. He rubbed his eyes, shaking his head. “No. I’m so glad you’re here. I missed you a lot.”

“Did you?”

“My mom said I cried about you being at school right after I got out of surgery,” he replied. You widened your eyes, not expecting him to be that forward about it. “I don’t like being away from you for so long. I hope we never, ever separate.”

You smiled, half-heartedly punching him in the shoulder. “I hope you stay this nice even after you feel fully better.”

Gunwook gave you a serious look as if he was thinking hard about something. You waited awkwardly, staring at one another as he sounded out whatever he was thinking in his head. “Over the past few days, I’ve been thinking a lot about something.”

“Which is…?”

“I’m going to say something,” he said, putting his hands on your shoulders. “I’m not expecting a reply. I just need to say it. I’ve thought about it a lot.”

“Okay, go on ahead. I’m listening.”

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as if whatever he was going to tell you was stressing him out. It made you get a bit anxious, wondering if he was going to break some terrible news to you. “Over the past couple of days, I’ve missed you a lot, more than I missed Gyuvin and Junhyeon combined. And it was hard only being able to talk to you through texting, even though I only text my friends for days on end sometimes. And it got me thinking about everything, you know? Because it’s all I’ve had to entertain myself since I got my teeth pulled.”

“Right.”

“I love you, [First]. A lot. And it’s okay if you’re not ready to say that yet, I get it. But I do. Truthfully. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

It felt like a rock was stuck in your throat. You opened your mouth expecting words to come out, but they didn’t—so, you just stood there, staring at Gunwook. He stared back at you, eyes glossy from tiredness and cheeks pink. You weren’t ready—the words were so big and so scary, and it wasn’t that you didn’t love him, you just couldn’t find the words to say it.

Your solution to this was to engulf him in a hug, latching to his waist like you’d done a second ago. No words were needed as he did the same, and, for a while, you stood there, enjoying one another’s company.

viii. mirrors

You don’t remember the last time you’ve felt this gross when looking into a mirror. The dress you’re wearing is gorgeous—it’s long, flowy, and summery, the type of dress that doesn’t look bad on anyone. Yet, staring at yourself right now, you feel utterly disgusting.

It’s the same type of dress you saw Yukyung wearing at the fair, and, when you look at yourself, all you can do is compare yourself to her. Even when you were best friends, this was a problem you had, but it wasn’t nearly as awful when she made you feel safe and loved. Now, it felt threatening and nauseating.

Gunwook knocked on the door of your dressing room, causing you to wince. “[First], are you done? Can I see?”

“Yeah, sure. One second.”

You quickly retied the bow around your waist, hoping it would make you feel a little less awful. It didn’t have the intended effect, but you turned around anyway, opening the door to the dressing room. Gunwook’s expression bloomed into a smile the moment he saw you, but, instead of feeling loved, you only remembered the way he looked at Yukyung with slight disdain at the fair while she wore the same thing.

“You look so beautiful,” he said, which caused you to subconsciously frown. He noticed immediately, his smile morphing into a frown to mirror you. “What’s wrong? Do you not like it?”

You turned around, staring at yourself in the mirror once more. “I don’t feel pretty in it,” you said, trying to be as upfront with your emotions as you could. You saw Gunwook’s jaw drop in his reflection in the mirror as if he couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“How in the world could you not feel pretty? It fits you perfectly, and it’s entirely on theme for your cousin’s wedding. You look gorgeous, I swear. Everyone would agree with me.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, hoping and praying that, if he said it for a third time, the image of Yukyung in your mind would miraculously go away. He nodded earnestly, making the most serious look you’d ever seen him produce.

“One thousand percent. And I’m not just saying it because I’m your boyfriend, I mean it. You look beautiful, and every other synonym of beautiful. I’m serious.”

You nodded, fabricating a smile so you could take it off and put your sweater back on. “Okay, I’ll get it then. I’m sure my mom will agree.”

You shut the dressing room door, fighting the urge to slam your head into the mirror. You just pulled the dress off of you, replacing it with your normal clothes and putting it back on the hanger, swiftly exiting the room so you’d no longer be facing the mirror.

After that, you’d tried to escape the mall as quickly as you could, dragging Gunwook through the corridors like you were on a mission. He’d followed without saying anything, but you could tell he was somewhat confused—and you hoped that confusion would go away when you arrived at the bus stop just as it arrived.

Gunwook knew you better than that, though, shooting you multiple inquisitive looks for the duration of your bus ride. And, the moment you got off, he whistled a small tune, which was a clear sign that he was going to bring it up.

“So, what’s up?”

“What do you mean?” You feigned ignorance, hoping he’d get the message and leave it alone. He wouldn’t, though, and it was now a question of whether he meant today only, or why you’d been acting so strange over the past month or so.

“You’ve been acting weird for a while, [First]. Not all the time, just sometimes, and it has me worried. Did I do something? Or is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“I’m just on edge,” you lied, clearing your throat. “Exams are next month. I don’t like the idea that a single test could dictate the rest of my life, and the idea that, if I do poorly, I have to spend another year studying for it.”

“Are you sure that’s it? You seem fine every time we’re studying, and your grades are good. You don’t ask for nearly as much help as you did a few months ago either.”

“I promise. Things will go back to normal next month, I swear.”

“Okay.”

Great, you thought, kicking a rock on the sidewalk. He knew you were lying, and now you had one month to fix your ex-best-friend troubles before you had to face your issues. And, you had no idea how.

You kicked the rock again, and it flew out in the street, falling into a storm drain, never to be seen again.

ix. exams

Before today, you didn’t think your hands could hurt this bad. Nor did you think your brain could hurt this bad, either.

The moment you walked into Gunwook’s room, you drop everything you’re holding, face-planting into his bed. He laughed at you, and you could hear him neatly placing everything he was holding onto his desk.

“How can you unpack things right now?” you asked, mentally praising whoever created mattresses. “I feel like my brain is short-circuiting.”

“I’m good at school stuff, that’s why,” he replied. Outside, the rain that you’d dealt with walking to his house got worse, and you briefly considered the possibility that you wouldn’t be returning home tonight unless one of your parents were willing to drive to Gunwook’s house. “Do you want something else to wear? Other than your uniform.”

“Really?” you asked, hopping out of his bed. He nodded, opening his drawer and taking out a t-shirt and pair of sweatpants.

“They’ll probably be a little big,” he said, handing them to you. You waved him off, shaking your head.

“They’re not this god-awful uniform, so they’re winners in my book.”

You practically skipped out of his room and into the bathroom, changing into the pajamas he’d given you hastily. They were soft and smelled like the detergent his mom bought (which smelled exactly like you thought Gunwook would smell, back when you just had a delusional crush on him).

Before you went back to his room, you folded your uniform, giving yourself a once over in the mirror. You looked exhausted and you felt it too, overloaded from the hours of straight testing that you’d endured for the sole purpose of going to university. You were so tired you couldn’t even muster the strength to be worried about your test scores.

You shuffled back into Gunwook’s room, shutting the door behind you. He was already laying down, scrolling through his phone and wearing the black-and-white sweater he’d been so obsessed with recently. You put your uniform on top of your bag, which he’d moved to a chair in the corner of his room, before collapsing on top of him and forcing your hands around his waist.

The act caused him to laugh at you before ruffling your hair, kissing you atop the crown of your head. “I’m proud of you,” he said, and you felt his chest rumble as he talked. “I’m sure you did well.”

“Stop being sappy,” you replied, suddenly feeling a lot more tired than you had been. “But I’m proud of you too. I know you did well.”

He hummed, and you assumed he went back to scrolling through his phone, which you weren’t angry about. You had about five minutes before you fell asleep on him, and you were fine spending it in complete silence save for whatever random thought you had.

“Oh, did you see the Yuna-Jaechan reunion? It was, like, dramatic. He gave her some super expensive necklace or something.”

“I didn’t see it, but I heard about it. Junhyeon hasn’t shut up about it. He thinks it’s hilarious.”

“If we’d done the CSAT breakup, would you have bought me a super expensive necklace?”

“We wouldn’t have, but I would’ve bought you the most expensive necklace ever. With Gyuvin’s money.”

“Aw, how romantic.”

It went quiet again, and you felt yourself fading quickly. The rhythmic up-and-down of Gunwook’s chest paired with the rain pitter-pattering against the window was putting you to sleep with ease, to the point where you could barely keep your eyes open.

And then a bright flash and near-immediate thunder awoke you instantly, causing you to flinch hard. Gunwook laughed at you instantly, causing you to feel embarrassed.

“Oh, is someone afraid of thunder?”

“No,” you huffed, closing your eyes again. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Okay, whatever you say. But that jump was pretty intense. I almost thought you were convulsing, was scared that the test had killed you.”

“Fuck you.”

“Good night, [First]. Sleep well.”

Now aware that you were enduring a thunderstorm, the booming noise that came with the rain only added to your sleepiness. Within minutes, you were almost completely asleep, barely able to register when Gunwook laughed at something on his phone or shifted slightly.

“I love you,” he whispered, putting a single hand on your waist. With that, you were asleep and entirely dead to the world for the next few hours.

x. gossip

You didn’t like the way Youngeun was looking at you. She couldn’t keep secrets—it was obvious she knew something, but you couldn’t figure out what exactly she could know.

Yeseo, on the other hand, seemed completely fine, even if Youngeun kept giving her worried glances. She simply drank her juice, mixing her noodles around with seemingly no intent to actually eat them. It was silent at your table, the sun beating down on you as you sat outside the 7/11 you’d all agreed to go to after school that day.

“What is up with you two?” you finally asked, frustrated with whatever was happening. Youngeun winced and Yeseo put her drink down, balancing her chopsticks on top of her bowl of ramen. It was silent for a few moments, and you felt anxiety eating you up.

“There’s a rumor going around,” Youngeun blurted out, causing you to tilt your head. Yeseo crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair.

“It’s not a big rumor. It’s small and contained, and it shouldn’t get much bigger, but we don’t want you to hear it from someone random, or to overhear it when you don’t mean to. We don’t think it’s true, but you deserve to know.”

“Okay, just tell me. I don’t need this huge build-up.”

“There’s a small group, and I mean small group, that think Yukyung and Gunwook are dating behind your back.”

You went quiet, feeling your heart drop into your stomach. Realistically, you knew it wasn’t true—from the way Gunwook talked to you to the way he looked at you, there was no possible way that this was true. The part of you that was borderline traumatized by her sudden switch up on you believed it in an instant, though.

“Do they have any proof?”

“Apparently, they see her talking to him a lot. I mean, she doesn’t hang out in your classroom often, ‘cause her new friends are in mine and Gunwook’s class. And, to be fair, they aren’t wrong, she does talk to him a lot, but he doesn’t like it. It wouldn’t shock me if she’s trying to get him to break up with you, but they’re not dating,” Youngeun said, suddenly sounding a lot angrier than she did before. “I’ve seen him shoot her down several times. But people take it the wrong way, I guess.”

“Long story short, don’t believe it, [First]. We both know it’s not true and if you start hearing it from other people, ignore it. Okay?”

Like the world was playing an awful, cruel joke on you, your phone started ringing, and one look confirmed your suspicions. You picked up, hearing Gunwook’s voice come through, clear as day. “Do you want to see a movie tomorrow?” he asked, skipping over the greeting. Intrusively, you thought, would he go with her, too? “I’ll pay. It’s a showing of a Ghibli movie that Yujin said was good.”

“Sure,” you said, feeling Youngeun’s and Yeseo’s eyes burning through you, as if to say don’t you dare overreact about this. “What time?”

You were going to overreact about it anyway, though. You couldn’t do this, at least not with Yukyung—or, at least the thought of her—breathing over your shoulder at every moment. She meant too much to you that your mind was racing through every single thought you’d had over the past few months.

She was your best friend, and you’re pretty sure that, before Gunwook came into the picture, you were in love with her. You spent hours upon hours with her, and now you spend hours looking through the old pictures that you refuse to delete. You’re stuck on her—not in love with her anymore, but yearning for a friendship you lost—and it’s getting in the way of your relationship, and your mind concludes that there’s one viable outcome.

And, now, you have an excuse to carry it out.

xi. her

You don’t have the time to knock on Gunwook’s door before he throws it open. He hugs you immediately, picking you up and spinning you around right there in his doorway, and, for a minute, your mind is clear of all the terrible things that you’ve been trapped with for the past month.

“We did it,” he cried out, putting you back down so he could see your face. “We did it! Oh my god, how could we not have done it? We were always going to get in.”

About twenty minutes ago, both you and Gunwook received an email from Seoul National University that you’d gotten in. After you’d cried for four hours over your good CSAT scores, you nearly passed out at this news, wondering in what world you had deserved this. And, among your caving-in mind over Gunwook and Yukyung, you’d immediately left your house and ran to Gunwook’s.

He cupped your face in his hands, planting a kiss on your lips in utter joy. You laughed, feeling immensely happy for the both of you.

You tripped over your feet as you walked into his house, kicking off your shoes and emerging into his living room. “I never thought this would happen,” you said, pacing around the room. Gunwook watched you from behind the couch, smiling. “I mean, for the last month, I’ve just—I haven’t caught a break. I’ve been miserable every waking moment and now I finally have something to be happy over. Can you believe that?”

You look at him, and you watch his smile drop. You backpedal over what you said, realizing that you’d let your little secret slip; since Youngeun and Yeseo had told you about the rumor, you’d done an excellent job at hiding your panic, acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t in the slightest.

“What do you mean you’ve been miserable?”

You stopped pacing, and the room went quiet. In an instant, you’d knocked the happiness out of the room and brought in everything you’d been avoiding. The breakup plan you’d thought of night after night flashed in your mind, along with Yeseo telling you that you were an idiot for even considering it.

“I don’t know where this came from,” he continued, his voice a bit tight. “But I was under the impression everything was okay. We took the test and you looked better—why wouldn’t you tell me you were miserable?”

You weren’t sure what to say. Your heart was beating out of your chest and you felt nauseated, no longer feeling the excitement of the college acceptance you’d yearned for since you were a kid. “It’s stupid,” you said, your voice small. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll get over it.”

“I don’t know if you understand how that sounds to me,” he said, and you were getting the idea that he also had an issue that he hadn’t been talking about, either. “But we’ve spent a lot of time together over the last month, and you saying that you’ve been miserable the entire time sounds a lot like you saying you were miserable being with me.”

“What? No, that’s not what I meant.” You shook your head, feeling mortified at the idea. “I promise, that’s not it. It has nothing to do with you.”

“Then why won't you tell me? I don’t think I’m entitled to hear anything from you that you don’t want to talk about, but when it’s been torturing you for months, [First], I feel like I deserve to know. Especially since it seems like Youngeun and Yeseo haven’t gotten any of the side effects.”

You bit your lip, closing your eyes. “You know Yukyung was my best friend, right?” Even saying it aloud made tears bunch into your eyes. For the first time since nearly a year ago, now, you were facing something you hadn’t even talked about with your mom. “Like, best friend. We’ve been—we were friends from our first year of middle school. She was my everything. And she threw it all away over—over you, and it’s been hard for me to stomach it.”

Gunwook rolled up his sleeves, leaning on the couch. “That happened in March,” he said, almost sounding frustrated. You knew it wasn’t directed at you, rather, he was probably angry that Yukyung had any say in your relationship even though you’d never even spoken about her.

“It killed me, Gunwook. I didn’t sleep well for a week. I mean, she was telling people things I told her in middle school, running around and painting a picture of me that I didn’t know she had.” You felt exasperated, unsure of how to convey what you needed to without sharing a secret you’d never shared with anyone. “It was hard for me. Even though I was happy about us, I couldn’t get over losing her like that with no warning. And then, I saw her talking to you at the fair, and then Yeseo and Youngeun told me about the rumors, and—”

“Rumors?” he interjected, furrowing his eyebrows. “What rumors?”

“People think you’re cheating on me,” you replied, crossing your arms over your chest. That seemed to confuse Gunwook, as he looked down, staring at the couch rather than looking at you. “It’s just hard, okay? It’s hard.”

“And you couldn’t have told me you felt like this? It didn’t cross your mind, even for a second, to just be honest?”

“Well why didn’t you tell me that she’s been talking to you at every chance she gets?” you rebutted. That caused him to wince, and you watched him realize that he couldn’t say much, either. “It’s not like we’re both innocent, here. So let’s get it over with. Now.”

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Gunwook said, pushing off the couch and mirroring your stance. “Gyuvin brought it up during our second year before we knew each other. It didn’t cross my mind again until I saw you staring at her when I came in to give you your calculator back. And then—it’s been months and you haven’t said you loved me.”

Every muscle in your body tensed, and it, once again, occurred to you that you could never pull anything over on Gunwook.

“Are you in love with her?”

You gulped, your throat suddenly feeling drier than it ever had. “I was. A long time ago.”

It went silent again, and you wondered if he believed you. “I promise you it’s in the past. It was only during my first year and some of my second, but I got over it when she started dating Seungeon. And they lasted long enough for me to get over it, and we added Youngeun to the mix, so I was preoccupied. That’s in the past. But it doesn’t change that she threw out five years of our friendship without a second thought.”

He didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, beginning to pace back and forth. You let him think, hoping that your defense was sound enough that he wouldn’t break things off then and there.

“Do you love me, [First]?”

Two months ago, Yeseo had asked if you’d said “I love you” yet. You’d, embarrassingly, had to share that Gunwook had but you hadn’t, which perplexed both of them. And, when they asked why, all you’d been able to tell them was that the last person you’d said “I love you” to was Yukyung, the night before Youngeun called you, telling you everything she’d heard.

“Yes,” you said, nodding. “I do. I love you.”

Right in front of you, Gunwook burst into tears, walking straight past the couch and enveloping you in his arms. “I thought you were going to break up with me for so long,” he choked out, squeezing you so hard you could barely breathe. “I was terrified the entire time, and I thought things got better after the exams, but I couldn’t shake the feeling. I was so scared, [First]. I love you so much that I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

“I love you too,” you said, although it was muffled. “I promise. And I didn’t love her as much as I love you.”

xii. graduation

You were realizing that your claim that you didn’t cry often was quickly becoming a lie. You were sitting on the floor of your room, holding your diploma to your chest while tears streamed from your eyes. Gunwook was staring at you with a mixture of amusement and worry as you rocked yourself back and forth.

“Youngeun is leaving me,” you said, hiccuping. “Both of them are. For Japan. I’m going to have to make new friends.”

“But you’ll still be able to talk? They won’t even be in a different timezone.”

“Okay, and?” you said, hiccuping. “It’s so far. I won’t be able to go to 7/11 with them anymore.”

“We can go to 7/11?”

“That’s different, you’re my boyfriend. 7/11 is a commitment when it’s with you.”

“What does that even mean?”

You let out another Earth-shattering sob, and you supposed that convinced Gunwook to come over and attempt to comfort you. “There, there,” he said sarcastically. “Japan is very far. And you’ll have to pay more to call them. I’m sorry.”

“At least try to sound a little serious!”

“Neither Junhyeon nor Gyuvin got into SNU.”

“Okay, but they’re still in Korea, so you’ll be fine. There’s no train to Tokyo here.”

Gunwook wrapped his arm around your shoulder, leaning his head on yours. “It’ll be okay. They’ll be here over breaks and you’ll get to see them then, right? And you always have the—wait, why don’t you have a picture of us framed?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m serious,” he said, pointing to your dresser, which was right in front of you. On top were multiple framed pictures of the three of you, smiling, laughing, and doing other things. “What’s up with that? Am I less important than them?”

“Shut up.”

“No. I’m going to buy a disposable camera right now, and we’re going to take pictures so you can print and frame them.”

You rolled your eyes, wiping away your tears. “Okay. Whatever you say. Even though you’re my wallpaper, and you’re the only number pinned in my text messages, and you’re the only person who’s ever known the password to my phone.”

“You love me.”

“Not when you’re a greedy loser.”

“Aw, I love you, too.”

thank you for reading !

[dietmountaindewbae]

DILF ALEX PLEASE 🙏🙏

xxvi. teach me, teacher

alex turner x reader

word count: 3091

summary: Watching Mister (Early The Car!) Turner walk around class made you feel in a daze, hoping that one day he'll give you a valuable lesson. 

warnings: sp*nking, age gap, slapp*ng, a bit of v*olence, male dom.

playlist

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The bell rings, and the class is dismissed but you stay until you finish, focused on the details of each trace of your pencil. These past few weeks have been stressful, finals were soon, and the teachers were exploiting you with millions of projects and exams. But the only class you felt like you had things under control was during drawing class, in today's lesson with Mister Turner, you took your time to trace your pencil lines with black marker and some color. You were lost in oblivion when you suddenly heard the heavy door shut close.

"Still here?" Says Mister Turner coming inside with his second cup of black coffee.

"Sorry... I'll be done in a bit Mister Turner" Your soft voice made his ears ring, and his eyes couldn't escape you. Your hair under your ears, your big doe eyes, and long eyelashes, your pink lips, and cupid's bow, the little beauty spot on your chin like a little kiss, and his eyes rubbed down your soft bare legs, that little skirt in your uniform left plenty for his imagination.

Then, out of nowhere, your eyes cross, in the blink of an eye he goes back to grading more papers while you keep drawing. Your heart skipped a beat, and he shuffled in his seat, feeling a drop of sweat running down his forehead, that little scare made his heart jump.

Mister Turner was a nice teacher to everyone, but recently you were falling behind, you had to take your time with each drawing, and he often was right behind you telling you that you should be working faster for the semester you're in. All you wanted from him were his little notes in your papers congratulating you, and now all you got from him was his notices. When he walks into a room, his big voice makes everyone's heads turn, you always follow him with your eyes wherever spot in the class he is standing in when he moves his hands to try to physically explain something that only in his brain was drawn out perfectly, the way he crosses his arms as he speaks or when he puts his hands on his hips as he's explaining any subject at all, he had a way with words no one else had, you knew that he was blessed with some magic or ability no other man had, you often thought about him.

You were needy for his attention but you were too scared to talk to him, whenever he came to check up on you, all you could do was nod and pray for him to accept your work, that's all you ever wanted, that's all you ever needed. And when he leans in closer to you, you cling to his smell of black coffee and strong cologne, you often lose yourself as you look at the chain that hangs on his neck, looking at it bling.

You hear the pen on the paper grading, and you raise your eyes to look at him, and you catch his eyes stripping down your skirt and rubbing his eyes down your legs. His pupils dilate at the look of your eyes and he drags his eyes back to his papers, pinching the bridge of his nose, he felt as if as though he had exposed one of his weaknesses, one of his guilty pleasures, a secret. He could feel a string of tension begin to rise, many questions in his head, but only one way to solve them.

He stands up from his desk, the heel of his boot clashing against the wooden floor, standing next to you, "Hope you're doing the work that you own me" He says very quietly, almost as if he wished his voice was part of the wind that blew against the windows.

"I don't think I owe you anything," You said, looking at him directly, and confidently.

"Last time I checked, you did" He drawls and slowly walks back to his desk, and you put your pen down

"Well, if you let this one slide then I won't tell anyone that you were looking at my legs," He turns and looks at you with big eyes, a subtle smile crawling to your corners, and you put your things back inside your bag, "I'll see you on Monday" Your fingers brushed your hair back, and he jumped out of his chair as he sees you approaching the door.

He chases you feeling the rush of blood in his ears, "Wait" His arm stretches closing the wooden door before you even try to leave, "You're not gonna say anything, are you?" You stayed quiet, looking at him through your lashes, he sighed, regretting ever revealing the truth, he had no care about what the principals or counselors had to say, what he was deeply concerned about was what you had to say about his twisted and cheeky little perverted secret, "I promise I won't do that again" He says it like a promise, but it didn't feel like one.

"I never said I wanted you to stop," You whispered to him, his big brown eyes blinked slowly as the look in your eyes engraved on his, "Now if you don't mind... I-" You tried to open the door, but there was no need to say anything else when it was clear what he wanted from you.

"You should finish your homework, then you're free to go" You turned on the heel of your shoe, and walked back to the tall table pulling your things out of your bag to keep working.

Mister Turner had watched you bloom into an ungodly magnetic girl, always sitting in the back, quiet, and beautiful. Something stirs inside him whenever he sees you putting on your lipstick and brushing your hair, whenever you sit cross-legged and he's able to see a little bit of your thighs. When you came back to school with your hair cut to your chin, he couldn't stop looking at you as you worked, admiring how your hair fitted and framed your face so perfectly, your big eyes took all of the attention.

Now, you both were alone, based on the words you said he decided to test how far he could go, compared to his hand on your shoulder whenever he congratulated you when you turned in good work, or when your fingertips brushed as he thought you how to solve your questions.

With his hands on his hips, he's determined to stand behind you as your hair reveals a little bit of your nape, "Maybe you should trace that line again,"

"Which one?" You asked with innocence.

He takes a step forward, pointing his finger to the line while his other hand lands on your back, his index and middle right on the clasp of your bra, you're eyes light on fire as his gaze turns darker.

"I liked what you did with your hair... looks pretty on you" You smiled as you tried to hide the redness in your cheeks as he dragged his fingers up your back to caress your hair.

"Thank you" You don't utter another word as he keeps playing with your hair, pretending to be way more invested in your homework than his hands on your hair. He catches onto that, taking a step behind you, he tears his hand from your hair, and you try not to act on it, still pretending to be distracted but he could feel how your body yearns for more.

His hand lands on top of yours, taking it away from the table, and putting it in your belly, sliding it down until it's in between your legs, pressing down on your weak spot, you unconsciously rubbed your legs together but he pressed his crotch against your ass, the bulge on his pants heavy and hard, you rubbed yourself against it.

"You can't pretend you don't want some of it" His hand that was on top of yours now slides down inside your panties, his fingers spreading your wetness all over your cunt, "You're crying for more" Your pencil dropped to the floor as he slowly begins to grind his hard-on against your ass, bending your back so your little holes can drool for more. Your voice didn't make a sound but your face and your body were arching for more, "Tell me that you want it" He says, waiting for your consent. He pressed your cheek against the table, pushing his hips closer to where you needed him, "Stop acting like a dumb fucking cock warming whore" You giggled at the things he has called you.

"You really want me to say that, Mister Turner?" You said with a smile on your face, he took his hands away from you, feeling as though he had made a massive mistake, you turned to look at him right in the eyes, rubbing your thighs together, "But what happens if I don't?"

He catches on to your games, and that little playful smile on your face tells him everything he needs to know, "You want to learn that lesson?"

"You're my teacher... teach me" You smirked, his lips hungrily kissing your mouth, his tongue eager to slip inside your lips, crashing against yours but he took over you so easily that you instantly melted into his arms and hands that gripped your short hair so tightly, into his roughness, you were delighted to do so.

He tossed you back onto your table, raising your skirt and spreading your legs open, his hand in between your legs, dragging your panties down to your ankles, "Arch it" His hand pushed your hips down so you were completely exposed to him.

"Is that the way you like it?" You tease, turning your face to look at him, watching his hand stroking his cock very softly. You played around with him, wiggling your hips just to tease him.

You didn't expect him to hit your bum with his rough hands, sliding his fingers inside you testing how wet your walls were, "I see you like learning the hard way, I gotta repeat meself over and over until you understand"

"Until I understand what?" You joked.

"You're in my class, you follow my rules" A laugh bursts out of your lips, causing him to flip out on you, hitting you harder than the first time, you hissed and he kept hitting you and slamming his hand against your flesh harder, pulling your hair back, each time he hits you, a tear rolls down your cheek but more wetness drips down your thighs, something you couldn't understand. All your fantasies were coming true, "You understand who's in charge right?"

Your legs and arms shaking, he turns you over to face him, whipping a tear from your cheek, squishing your cheeks together, nodding your head to tell him you understand, "I'll do anything for it" His little evil smirk spreads across his lips as he sees your almond colored eyes sparkle beneath his touch.

He grips your hips tightly, smothering his lips against your mouth, pinching your cheeks together, and ripping apart the kiss, "There are no other better words" He bends you over against the table, kicking your feet to spread open your legs, grabbing a fist of your hair, the tip of his slippery head right in between your thighs, teasing you slowly until you couldn't help yourself anymore, you stupidly tried to grab him and let loose, he pulls harder on your hair, sticking a slap right across your face, "I told you to not play around like that, you think this is funny?" He spat into your ear, slowly easing himself inside you.

Your teeth bite your lower lip and hum as he gently drags back his dick and slides it back inside your little hole, his fingers in between your legs going in circles, but as he pulls his hips back you can feel your walls tightening around him, begging him to stay inside you, "Oh my fuckin'- please... just please... I need you" You cry out miserably trying to convince him.

"Toughen up, I don't wanna hear a single noise coming' out of that mouth, you understand?" You nod your head as a tear rolls down your face, waiting impatiently for him to fuck you senseless, the anticipation getting the best of you, "You're drooling for more..." He teased your entrance, coating the head of his cock with your juices, "Didn't know you were like that..." Your name rolls out of his tongue like glory, and it sounds deathly and precious.

He eases his way inside you, your breathing gets stuck in your nose, and you try to keep up with the way his hips collide against your bum slowly at first, but with each moment you drag your hips back at the same time as him, he went deeper and deeper, and your legs started to feel it, you felt something burning inside you, something that tingled away in between your legs, and you were oozing for more, for something that put an end to it.

Your body tensed up as he suddenly grabbed a fast and hard pace, you could feel his skin burning against yours, digging his nails into your thighs, tearing and bruising your skin, there was no better pain, no other man that you ever desired. His fingers slipped inside your mouth until your throat closed, a burst of saliva coming out of your mouth as you pushed his body away from you.

He burst into laughter as you try to catch your breath, "What the fuck is your problem?" You gasped for air, "That was-"

"Too much?" He says with a smudged smile, "Thought you wanted me to teach you, you're not up for it anymore?" The cheeky tone in his voice mocked yours perfectly, you knew what this was all about.

"No, it's not that-"

"Oh come on, I knew you weren't serious, always laughing at me like I'm some sort of joke, and now you come here with all of this crying and whining, God! You can't handle anything" Your eyebrows frown together, "Don't look at me with those eyes" All you wanted was to scream and spit into his face all those vile words on your mind, but your tears ran down your face, the anger causing your insides to fire up and evaporate through tears. He set all of that fire at first glance.

He drags you closer to him by the elbow, "You can't say you don't feel what I'm feeling right now" Your nose reddened, his intentions just as clear as his writing on the chalkboard, he wanted you to fight for him "If you want me to be yours, I'll be part of you in any way you want... but just do it now, because I want you" Your arms around his neck, he kisses your cheek tasting your salty tears. But he was on top of you since the beginning, and like the man he is, nothing is really good enough for him, "I said I would do anything for you and I will, just keep me" You blinked your eyes slowly, his arms dragging your body closer to his.

His hands flew across your face, a spank of wind drying up your tears. He bends you over against the desk, hearing the weakness in your voice and the need for him had his mind so fixated on you, this fight had stopped and now he felt like the winner, he liked the triumph and the fulfillment of feeling your body twist and bend just the way he wanted, and you felt happy he could feed of your body like a vulture.

Your body relaxed as his arms hugged you close, lips on your neck, nose in your hair, not a single noise coming out of your lips, your mind was off wondering how long it took him to end you. His body smashing yours repeatedly, you looking at him through the crack of your neck, watching his eyes turn black, "You're enjoying this, you can't hide nothing from me" Your eyes closed tightly as you can feel him forcing himself deeper in that tight space, "You love when I get all mad on you, don't you?" Your cheeky smile burst onto the surface, he had caught you since the beginning, but he didn't want to fight anymore, there was no need for that. He can feel his heart palpitating so fast at the look of your pillowy pink cracked lips, his hands running down your soft hair, your body rocking against his so nicely that it makes his whole body vibrate, he's at a loss for words, so he wraps his arm around your waist, grabbing your hand and closing shut your mouth as your eyebrows push together and your walls began to contract and he pushed himself deeper inside feeling you burst like bubblegum, and your walls began to slowly ease up as your body gets covered with little flickers of electricity.

His eyes feel heavy as he smothers his cock in all your wetness, his gasps for air humming your name, playing around with your clit, and you were so sensitive and he couldn't get enough, but you were willing to handle more just for your man. His body was slowly losing balance and he grunted and you could feel him sliding outside of you so easily, feeling something warm splash into your inner thigh. That last warm breath of lust breezing your cheek.

"Here" He whipped down your thigh, and you adjusted your panties and your hair, and as you turned around, he pulled you close to him, giving you a gentle and caring kiss on your head. Your hearts warm up to each other instantly, "You did great, me darlin'"

"Thank you" That's all you needed to hear from him. He didn't call you by any other thing but his.

A/N

This was a special one, dedicated to my girl, my real, my best friend, and ofc thank you anon for your request but this was like two birds in one bullet sort of thing. She's my number one fan, and I gotta thank her for reading all of this, and for making me feel good about telling her about this, I thought I would take many things to grave but turns out, she's taking some of mine and I'll be taking some of her's, because that's what love is.

I lob u 😈💋

[blackbat05]

Friday Evenings

Evan Buckley x Reader (Not Gender Specified)

Plot: It’s another Friday evening at the library, but that doesn’t mean it has to be boring.

Genre: PG-13

A/N: Kinda like a comfort piece for myself. Also, I need to start writing again so I guess this is the way to go. Enjoy!

“Knock, knock!”

I look up from my laptop to find Evan holding a bag of takeout. “Uh, I know there's strictly no food in the library, but I was hoping you could make an exception.” 

“Well, perks of being the library assistant. Come on over.” I invite him behind the circulation desk and draw the blinders. “Your timing is immaculate, I was just about to finish up the last bit of cataloging.” 

“Cool, no rush.” Evan sets the bag down. “Can I take a look?” Curious Evan, always eager to learn more about everything around him. That was also what made him so attractive. 

“Nah, I’m pretty sure it’ll just bore you.” 

“Hey, how do you know what bores me?” His eyes twinkle and set himself beside me. My fingers quickly fly across the keyboard, entering the right value and category into each empty box. I scan the barcode of each book, registering it into the database before sticking the respective stickers on the book. 

“Finished!” Despite the seemingly small task, it was still a task completed. 

“That was amazing.” 

“Says my boyfriend that fights fires for a living.” I dismiss him casually. 

“Don’t do that.” Evan admonishes. “Did you know that in the past, people had to flip through thousands of cards to find the book that they wanted?” He gives me another fun fact to which I am amazed by once again. “You guys are like the keeper of books. Without you guys, there’s no knowledge and the whole world would burn to the ground.” 

“And that’s why you’re my biggest hype man.” I say, giving him a kiss. “On behalf of all library staff, I would like to thank you for acknowledging our tireless efforts.” Fishing out a box of chow mein, I find my mouth salivating as I dive into the springy noodles. 

Night falls as Evan and I talk about our week. From crazy rescues to patrons of different personalities, there was no dull moment. 

“Lisa was so sweet. I always love to see when a child is so enthusiastic about reading. You hardly ever see that these days.” You gush. 

“Tell me about it. Maddy and Chim are really trying their best to build that habit in Jee.” Evan agrees.

A clacking of shoes could be heard from behind the entrance. A stray strand of noodle hangs limply from Evan’s mouth. My eyes widen at the noise as I put a finger to my lips.

“Shit! I thought Marianne left! She’s gonna kill me if she finds out.” I hissed, eyes darting around wildly for a solution. Evan’s a step ahead of me as he swiftly removes all the damning evidence and packed it into the takeaway bag before ducking down under the circulation desk.

Not a second later, Marianne enters, completely unaware of the chaos that just happened.

“Hey! I left something behind. I need it for tomorrow’s class.” She comes closer and I can feel the sweat trickling down my back. I quickly push my chair to block her way, earning a curious stare from her.

“No worries! I can get it for you. Just stay right there.”

Before she can say anything else, I grab the cursed notebook belonging to Marianne, making back to my seat in top speed.

“Er… thanks!” Marianne slightly cocks her head in confusion. “You sure you okay? You seem a little jumpy.”

“Totally! Just can’t wait to get out of here. It’s a Public Holiday tomorrow after all.” I laughed. Somehow, I knew that Evan groaned from under the table at my poor attempt.

Marianne shrugs, taking her notebook. “Well, don’t stay long!”

She leaves, shutting the door behind her.

"Ouch..." Evan barely manages to get himself back on the chair. He grins at me. "Some dinner that was huh?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to give Marianne an opportunity for me to become office gossip. You know how older ladies are."

"Trust me. Have you seen Eddie's Aunt?"

The two of us burst into laughter, quickly piping down just in case Marianne was still within the vicinity.

"Anything I can help with?" Evan asks as we pack away the containers. "I need to fight the food coma."

"Hm... well I do need to shelve back today's returns." You tell him. "If we split up, it should be done in no time and we're out of here."

"Sounds like a plan."

I grab a trolley for Evan and assign him to a row. The two of us worked seamlessly, the rolling of the wheels on the carpet was the only sound that filled the library.

"Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"I'm happy for you." He says sincerely. It doesn't take me long to piece together what he was referring to.

"You know, it still hurts sometimes." I tell him as I shelve a couple more books before going down the aisle. "But it hurts less."

The memories of not living up to the expectations of those who depended on me float around in my mind. The disappointment on people's faces when I told them I couldn't continue. The anger and self-hatred that I experienced because I essentially threw all that hard work and effort into the drain.

"Don't go there." Evan says sharply. "Don't beat yourself up for things that you couldn't control."

I give a weak smile. Evan had enough confidence for the two of us.

"You did what was the best in that moment. You just didn't know that it wasn't the right thing for you. That's okay. I mean look at me! I was wandering around aimlessly before I found the 118. It seems you may have found your place."

"What if it doesn't work out again?" My inner voice wins the battle to be let out into the open.

"Then you try again." Evan says it, as if it's so simple. "We're not going to put ourselves in a box for the rest of our lives. We got to try new things when we can. And that's exactly what you're doing."

The both of us reach the end of our respective aisles, cart empty. Evan comes close and hugs me. "Maddie says that hugs can really help to improve a person's mood."

Did I save an entire country in my past life for Evan to be by my side?

"You always know the right words to say."

"That's because they're the truth." Evan helps with the paper bags. "Now, as much as I really enjoyed secretly flouting the library rules, we should head for desert." His eyes twinkle. "I'm thinking of that gelato place down the street."

He knew the right words to say and the way to my stomach? Scratch that, he saved an entire continent with his selfless behavior.

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

Evan smiles widely and gets up from his chair.

“Come on. We’re not going to waste a perfectly good evening.”

Like I said, I didn’t know what I did to deserve Evan Buckley.

[hopplessilse]

Fetish l. Hello Mr. Miller

Teacher! Joel x f!reader 18+ explicit minors dni

Serie masterlist

Summary: Back in college, you realize that your favorite teacher, Mr. Miller, will be teaching you, what is more exciting than that.

Word count: 5.4k

Warnings: teacher-student, age gab (reader in her early 20's, joel in his late 40's) pet names (darlin), sexual fantasies, reader zoom out, pov. Joel, Pov. reader, flirtation, slow burn (not so slow), they are both two consenting adults

A/N: This series will be as real as possible, it won't be so fanciful, Mr. Miller is an idiot sometimes, If it's not your type of reading, don't read it. My first language is not English, any misspellings I apologize.

Joel knew you since he taught you last semester.

You fell in love with the way he taught, the way he explained, how smart he was, the passion with which he spoke. The respect with which he spoke to everyone, especially women.

You've heard a lot of rumors around the school, from different teachers and students. But one of them stood out the most in your head, as it was about your favorite teacher.

it was rumored that he had "something" with a student, you heard nothing but pure obscenities, your head refused to believe it.

Even the girl everyone was talking about didn't say anything. But you knew it might have been true because you watched her every time you had classes with him. As she looked at him during these, as at the end of each class she almost always stayed with him in the classroom.

She was always smiling and radiant, but one day she wasn't. She looked different, everything they knew about her before was gone.

She even ended up dropping out of college, many said it was because they had been discrovered, others said it was an agreement, others said she had gone into depression because of the breakup, but the truth is that no one knows, they are just assumptions.

This semester you wanted it to be different, to have different routines than what you were used to.

You were a good student, present in all the classes, you didn't have bad grades, you always tried to do everything on time, so as not to fall behind with your work. You weren't trying to be the best, but at least you were trying to make it out of the semester alive. You weren't a brainiac, but you always or almost always tried to be ready for the next classes, although you have to admit that sometimes you didn't care much about knowing the subject before.

Your degree was about philosophy in letters. You love to write, it helps you in some way to get out of or distract yourself from reality. You can create the world you want just by imagining it and capturing it on paper, on a screen, even in drawings. This semester you weren't so excited about the subjects, some teachers were good, others made you sleep because of the way they explained, boring.

Joel Miller was going to teach you the subject of philosophical anthropology. You were excited because that was the subject that Joel Miller was most passionate about. You knew very little about him as a person, you didn't know anything personal about his life, in fact no one knew anything. You were sure he wasn't married since he didn't wear any rings, not even on his ring finger.

Almost everything about him was a mystery, a mystery that you wanted to know, you wanted to dig into.

The first week of classes was suspended, given that they were fumigating the school, so the classes during that week were online, you hated classes like that since covid, happy on the one hand since you could sleep or be in your pajamas, but horrible because you didn't pay attention, you didn't learn anything.

And worst of all, you weren't going to be able to see Professor Miller in person.

Your schedules this semester were varied, some classes were in the morning and others in the afternoon/evening. With professor Miller you had 2 different schedules, one in the morning on Wednesday and another in the evening on Friday.

But unfortunately you didn't have classes with him on Wednesday due to a personal situation. But today was Friday afternoon, and you'd have classes with him.

You were at your desk, dressed in a beautiful dark green long-sleeved T-shirt, the fabric was soft and thin, the collar was U-shaped, accentuating your collarbones and neck. Around your neck hung a heart-shaped locket with your initial engraved on it, your mom had given it to you before you left for college.

You had a close relationship with your mom, after all you were similar in some ways, certain actions reminded you of her, but at the same time you were very different from each other.

She always told you to take care of the boys, the older men, she always gave you advice to make your life different from hers, she always reminded you to meet your goals, not to listen to other people, to follow the right path, to get married after 29, but with the right person.

You loved your mom, she was your best friend, she knew everything about you… But at the same time you kept little memories just for yourself.

The class was about to start, so that you could see yourself well on camera you only had the light on your desk. You took your lipstick to moisturize your lips, while you saw yourself on the screen of your laptop, a sound was present through the speakers of your computer, it was a message from the group leader with the link to the class.

You took a deep breath and clicked on the link. Before entering, turn off your microphone and camera as no one would have their cameras on.

When you entered you could see some boxes appear, the total number of students taking the class was 25, and yes, no one had their camera on.

You grabbed your folder and pens as more students joined the class, when a voice that you recognized quite well, thick and hoarse came through the speakers.

"Hi, good evening, I hope you are all well"

The image of Him was present, in a rectangle that you hated because it wasn't enough to see how beautiful and attractive he was.

"I'm going to need everyone to turn on their camera please, I know it's a nuisance but I need to know that everyone is alive"

You were more than happy to do it, when you turned it on you could tell that you weren't the only one who was. You'd say you're crazy, but out of all the images that appeared, you could only see 5 men in the class. crazy.

"There they are" He showed a beautiful smile Everyone smiled at the comment.

"From what I see on the list, many of you have already give you classes before, a few others are new," he paused as he picked up a pen, "I'll go through the roll call so keep an eye out for your names please."

Then he put on a pair of square black glasses, could it be sexier?

He started naming by surnames, while your classmates said present you were dying of nerves, whenever he called your last name you got nervous, but when he told you by your name, you didn't know how it could sound so beautiful coming out of his lips, he made it sound perfect.

You knew it was your turn, because your friend's last name came before yours in every class. Until you heard him call you

"present" you said with a shy smile, and he looked up, you knew he would remember you, you knew it perfectly.

A smile crept across his face as he watched you.

"I didn't know you'd take this course"

"Yes. Well, it's my favorite"

"I'm glad to hear that," he paused and sighed to look away from his list, "I hope it meets your expectations." You just nodded and he kept naming the rest of the class.

"Okay, welcome to the introduction to the subject of philosophical anthropology. I hope you're ready to learn," he took off his glasses and then a presentation appeared on the screen

"Someone knows what philosophical anthropology is"

They were silent for a moment while Professor Miller took the list, you knew he was going to take it as participation, you weren't a fan of that, last semester he made you participate so he could raise your points in the subject.

"Someone…"

You decided to take sides and encourage yourself to do it, in the end you knew little about the subject, and it was the first time you took the class, it didn't matter that you didn't know much.

"Me" your voice was present on everyone's speakers. Miller raised his head at your voice, his face reflecting surprise, and a smile appeared on his lips.

"Go ahead"

"It is a science that focuses on the study of the human being, it is responsible for studying the problems that man presents throughout life, from conception to the end of his existence"

You explained calmly as you felt your hands trembling and sweating under his gaze, you felt that your words would get stuck in your throat at any moment.

Professor Miller was about to speak when a female voice interrupted him.

"In fact, the term can be understood in several ways, it does not only represent one thing, it represents several philosophical studies and not only of the human being"

That damn bitch

You weren't a fan of hers, you knew why she was in that class, and it wasn't because she liked the subject, but because she liked the teacher.

"That's right, they're both right" he moved his eyes looking at the image of both "it's a very big word that encompasses different meanings, in a few words philosophical anthropology studies the conditions of possibility of the human phenomenon"

"The object of study is very varied since it has several objects or topics of study, which may not have coherence but are united in a profound way. It studies topics related to the origin of life, the violence that occurs in individuals, the feeling of love, the existence or not of God, animals, the stars such as the moon and the sun, creation, among others. It studies man or the human being within the universe and how it can help the world develop. Civilized man and those who belong to mythical beliefs stand out among the objects of study because they make an analysis of humanity, giving importance to the theory of creation."

As he explained you were so enraptured with him, that you forgot for a moment that you were on his screen, he could see you on the other side. You shook your head trying to concentrate and watched as he let out a small laugh.

God is watching me

You tried to suppress a scream, honestly you could have been worse but you knew how to control the situation. You were still paying attention when your cell phone that was next to you on the desk vibrated, you picked it up and saw your friend's name on the screen, it was a message from her.

Shit, I'm crazy or he'll laugh at you

He did it, didn't he? I'm not crazy haha

Woman, I swear, he's been paying attention to you, he was even surprised that you participated

i know

"I hope it meets your expectations" for God's sake

You just laughed, covering your mouth with your hand.

The class continued with participations, talks, brainstorms, and Professor Miller being attentive as always. At the end of the day they took only half an hour and concluded with the class. Professor Miller said goodbye to everyone with that smile that made you fantasize every time you saw her.

Yes, he had improved during the holidays, it's not like a lot of time had passed but something in him looked better, every time you looked at him you couldn't help but think that it would go through his head every time he saw a cute girl at university… Did he consider you a pretty girl?

You couldn't help but think that.

Has that ever crossed his mind? Or I'm crazy to think he'd think that

There were a lot of unanswered questions floating around in your head, you knew you needed to stop a little bit, you didn't need to be obsessed with it like last semester, dying of nerves every time he talked to you or looked at you, every time he made you participate, when you exposed and he looked at you and listened attentively, it didn't have to be the same, you wanted to enjoy the class without feeling nervous every time you participated, you wanted to excel in this class, who knows, you might be their new favorite student.

You'd be lying if you didn't want a benefit… the only benefit you want is his attention on you, you would achieve it by being attentive to him, but he had to look for you first, you need to be a master of minds… In the most innocent way.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||

You were walking straight to your building, it was a cloudy day, a cold that had been felt since the day before. It was the new beginning of the week, you'd be lying if you said you didn't miss school, because it was almost the only place you went out during the week, if it wasn't here you went to a coffee shop or bookstore, and no, we won't put labels on you, you weren't a nerd, or anything like that, you didn't read school books at least just if it was for research, all the books you had were of other genres.

Besides, you had missed the architecture of your school, the dampness that settled on the bricks due to the rain and cold. There were many trees around, others taller than others, there were very nice plants, benches that decorated the grass to take a break, study or eat.

A warm hug surrounded your body as you walked through the door of your building, even though the brick was cold, the facility stayed warm.

You had your headphones on, you liked to block out the sound of the hallways, you mentally prepared yourself for the classes you would have during the day, some more interactive and others… not so exciting. Your classroom was on the second floor and the stairs were around the corner from the teachers' offices. The teachers were always mainstays, you weren't going to deny that, whenever you arrived the offices were open, the teachers' room… full of these.

Just as you were in the hallway about to get to the offices, you saw Professor Miller come out of his office, he had some papers in his hands, his clothes were uff words would not be enough to describe how handsome he looked in shirt and tie, he closed the door of his office and when he looked up he saw you and smiled at you.

You saw how his lips moved, and with a confused face you took off your headphones, and the first thing you heard was his laughter as he shook his head.

"Sorry Mr. Miller" you said sadly smiling

"it's okay, I just said good morning" he kept that beautiful smile on his face as he placed the papers under his armpit.

"I'm surprised I don't see you with your cup of coffee," you said, pointing to his hand.

"Ha yes" he look at them and smile at you "I was just going to the teacher's room for one" you nodded as you both looked at each other

Normally you would talk if you had any doubts in class, but it was very rare that you saw him in the hallways, he was always in his office busy.

"Well, I should go to my class before they let me out," you laughed a little as you approached the stairs.

"Sure, I'm not taking up any more of your time, have a nice day"

"See you on Wednesday, Mr. Miller," you said in a friendly tone as you turned around and walked up the stairs, putting your headphones back on your head. He just turned to look at you as you disappeared around the stairs and just smiled and walked into the teacher's room.

The classes weren't as boring as you expected, the topics were interesting and you really paid attention to every word the teachers said, your schedule on Mondays was rushed until 1pm, you just stepped out when the rain took over the streets. Due to the weather you would go straight to your house, since you didn't have an umbrella and you knew that the rain would get worse as the hours went by. The good thing is that your friend had a car, and she would take you home to go over some topics.

And from thinking about Professor Miller so much, I think you manifested it a little bit, because after seeing him at the entrance this morning, you saw him when you went to the bathroom down the hallway talking to a professor, then at lunch, you saw him leave the building with his beautiful brown jacket and with some professors who you imagine having lunch. And right now in the parking lot… recharged in his car while smoking a cigarette.

There could be a much hotter scene than this?

You elbowed your friend who was next to you talking about an argument she had with a girl in her 8 o'clock class. At the moment of feeling your blow she turn to look at you with furrowed eyebrows and you only pointed with your eyes to who was a few meters away from you. She just smiled wickedly as she looked at you raising her eyebrows and you threatened her with your gaze before you could protest she was already approaching him as she greeted him in the process.

"Hi, Mr. Miller," your friend said animatedly as she stood in front of him while keeping a decent distance.

"Hello girls" he shook the ashes from his cigarette and they fell to the floor "time to go?" he looked at both of you with a smile

"that's right, after a bad day" your friend wrinkled her lips

"Why?" he sucked on his cigarette as smoke slowly rose from his lips.

"Well, my choice of teachers wasn't the best this semester"

"Isn't it?" by his tone they knew he had been offended

"You don't haha, you are a good teacher"

"I hope so, since you didn't participate in Friday's class" he said and he looked at you smiling and you returned the gesture

"well.. The truth is that I haven't researched so much on the subject, but I have her to help me," she said as she hugged you by the shoulders so you would get closer to them.

"She's a good one"

You just rolled your eyes because of the comment

"I know she's good, I saw her last semester, she just needs to be more participative" he said looking straight into your eyes with a serious countenance waiting for you to answer

"I will be" You looked at him in both eyes and he just nodded

"I hope so, you know I expect a lot from you, I don't want to be disappointed and see that you don't give it your all"

"I'll help her get out of her comfort zone" your friend said as she looked at you with a smile

He nodded as he tossed his cigarette on the floor and extinguished it with the toe of his shoe.

"Work on the task I leave, you'll be the first ones I ask," he said as he straightened up and for the first time that day you saw how strong he had become.

"We won't let you down"

"I hope not" he said as he walked in the opposite direction of you, "drive carefully"

"Have a nice day, Mr. Miller" your friend said screaming while you smiled embarrassed by her action. He just nodded, smiling.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

It was already Wednesday, you were looking forward to that day.

The day before you hadn't seen Professor Miller all morning, you were eager to see him, it was the only time in the day when you could see him. You arrived first thing in the morning, bringing coffee for your friend and yourself. You liked to be early to your classes, you didn't like to be late, anywhere in fact. Normally you were the first to arrive, and sometimes with 5 minutes to go there was still no one in the room, some were very unpunctual as well as some teachers, but Professor Miller was the most punctual person you knew.

You arrived at the classroom 10 minutes early, and as you imagined no one had arrived, you left the coffees in your place and when you were going to leave your things on the seat, the door to the classroom opened and Professor Miller peeked out behind it with his suitcase hanging from his shoulder, gave you a smile and spoke.

"Good day"

"Good day teacher"

"I came to let you know that the class will be held in room 13" sighed

"Oh the 13th? Isn't it too big for our group?" You frowned, taking the coffees in hand and walking straight to the door where he was.

"Yes it is, but apparently it's the only void, the seniors won't be there today" he moved so you could get out, and you started walking side by side towards the end of the hallway.

The walk was silent, some teachers passed by you and greeted Joel. He was taller than you by a lot, in sneakers you reached his shoulder, you were ridiculously small next to him, and that's why you started wearing high-heeled boots, not so high but at least they made you reach a little above his jaw. You felt that you were perceived as more mature, more at your age, because when you wore sneakers very few looked at you, that included him.

You felt more confident in boots, you felt more attractive even to yourself. As the years went by, you changed your style, you took out clothes that were very old, that you didn't use, that were no longer your style, and you replaced them with wide pants, long but cute skirts, short schoolgirl skirts, plaid skirts, t-shirts with a little cleavage, showing back, warmer or darker colors, You didn't like the color so much, and you felt like you changed the way everyone saw you, you looked more mature to some people, but you only cared about impressing 1.

Joel opened the room where the class would be, let you in first to which you thanked him in a low voice, you went to the places in the front row, you arranged your things while you saw Joel arrange his on the desk. Being the only two presences inside the room felt weird in a way, or for you it was, you felt nervous, you tried not to feel that way but it was impossible to see him in profile, you were noticing new things, his beard was grayer in some areas.

You noticed that his chest was more muscular as well as his back, it was already wide, when he was serious his jaw looked strong, the muscles of his neck were marked, he was so sensual, you thought it impossible that at some point in your life you would like a teacher, you would never have thought that someone twice your age would have you like that.

His hands were very big, almost the size of a tablet, if he put them on your face it would cover the whole face, the veins were slightly marked along his arms, even if at that moment you couldn't see them, you knew they were there, under that tanned skin, you loved how those dress pants fit his thighs, as the belt marked the beginning of his hips, and when he was in profile you couldn't help but look at his crotch, as a bulge was present, effortlessly. And because of that, you knew he was well-endowed.

You were still watching him sitting from your seat, when his voice took you out of your thoughts

"Why do you always arrive so early?" He looked at you with a smile that made his eyes small

"Mmh because I don't like to be unpunctual" he smiled at you in the same way

"I see" while telling you that and maintaining eye contact he took a book from his portfolio, look at it and walk towards you with his eyes on it.

Standing in front of you, he look at you and hold out the book.

"What is this?" You took it in your hand, rubbing your fingers with his.

"It helped me a lot when I was in college, it helped me understand a lot of topics, some of which we will see in class," he said while watching you study the cover of the book.

"And why do you give this to me?" You looked him in the eyes confused

"because I know how much you like to read, and I know that you love to read about these topics, apart from that it will help you to study some topics before we see them in class, and you are a good student, I want you to understand the potential you have and you can be more confident when you participate" he looked you in the eyes with a look that you never seen before, his eyes looked so pure, his voice went down 2 tones making his voice sound hoarse but a the same time softer.

You stood silently looking at it, saw the book in your hands and looked back at him.

"how do you remember I like reading about this?"

"Oh, last semester you mentioned it, the first day" he said returning to the desk

"do you remember everything we tell you?" you sounded confused and with a bit of amusement in your voice

"only the important things" He squinted at you with a squinting smile as he sat in the chair behind the desk.

you just looked at the book to avoid his gaze, you could feel your cheeks burning from the comment and Joel…he turned his gaze away from his laptop screen to look at you and cover his smile with the palm of his hand as he saw you blushing as you looked at the book.

Did he want to tell you that what you said was important? Did he want to make you feel important? Were you important to him? That's why he gave you the book?

Lots of damn questions and no answers, but the nerves were impossible to hide, you felt his gaze leave the screen to see you, you only looked at your research notes, you felt that time passed slowly, and no one came, you crossed your legs with nerves as you moved them, your hands were cold.

God why you're a damn nervous girl, focus, can't know that he has that effect on you.

The classroom was completely silent, only the keys of his laptop were the only ones present, and you were sure that your breathing was heard, when you saw that the door opened and a couple of students entered waving at Joel. Among them was your friend, you released all the air you had holding in your lungs and smiled nervously at her as she walked up to you and sat down next to you.

"Why did it take you so long?" you scolded her quietly

"I'm sorry, I ran into Brat in the hallway," she said, blushing as she touched your hands "Why are your hands so cold?" His voice sounded a little louder in the room, drawing Joel's gaze to you

"It's cold," you removed your hand abruptly as you evaded his gaze. She looked at Joel, he looked away and turned it to his papers and then at you

"Were you two alone?"

you didn't say anything

"That's what happens to you for being too punctual" she said mockingly, you looked at her offended

The class passed quickly, you were grateful because every time he explained you could notice that his gaze returned to you every second, no matter how much you loved it and begged him to see you, the nerves consumed you, you didn't participate for the same reason, it was too much pressure that you were putting on yourself, your head was playing you wrong this time. At the end you wanted to run out of the room, you knew that in the next class he would reproach you but today you couldn't deal with it, no no.

But you still had to hand over the research that left off homework. You followed your friend from behind, got to the desk, left your work on top of the others, but your friend waited for him to finish talking to the girl who had "corrected" you last class.

Ugh radiates so much hypocrisy.

"I put a lot of effort into the work, in the end I added extra information that I read in a book, it was very stimulating what you left us Professor Miller" she said with a flirtatious smile as she leaned back at the desk

"I'm glad it has helped you, being a new student you should know that I leave a lot of research and essays but from your point of view, I like to know what you think about each topic we touch on in class" Joel replied while taking the essays in hand and putting them in his portfolio.

"Oh I know, you'll get a lot out of me professor Miller"

Wow, yes it sounded blatant

Joel only nodded half-smiling, the girl said goodbye and your friend spoke.

"Mr. Miller my essay itself doesn't have much information" Joel cocked his head crossing his arms "I know you said 3 to 4 pages but I didn't get that much information that was different from the others" she smiled falsely

"Uh uh and your own words? Because I guess not everything that comes is from Internet pages, is it?" he said with an interrogative look and a raised eyebrow

"Am no, it's not"

Lie, you remember perfectly 1 day before what she told you.

FLASHBACK

"He clearly said that you could only put little information from the internet and justify it with our words, you can't copy everything without giving credit to its authors" you told her while typing on your laptop

"Shut up, he won't notice, besides the AI will help me" she smiled while the artificial intelligence did its work

"you forget that he does read the works, He's going to notice"

"He's your boyfriend, if he notices you give him some kisses and that's it"

"Hey!" you threw a pillow at her

end of the flashback

"Okay, I'll read it and we'll see," he picked up the essay and put it in his briefcase.

"Thank you teacher"

you said goodbye to him and before leaving you turned to look at him and obviously, he was already looking at you, he just smiled at you and turned his gaze away from you.

Am I crazy or is he paying more attention to me?

The energy felt different being with him, it felt on both sides, but it was very easy for you to get excited and misimitate things, to see things in a different way than the other person does. He was your teacher and you didn't want to think that you had a chance, even if your friend made fun of you, she still noticed how his attention towards you had changed, but he had always been nice to you, he always encouraged you, but for some reason he was different this time.

Joel´s pov

When she left the classroom, he could feel his heart beating normally again.

What stupidity are you doing joel?!

The only thing he needed was to feel that way, he couldn't, he knew it was wrong to do it, she was a student, he genuinely wanted to help her excel, he knew that she had several interests within the area of philosophy, he wanted her to have all the possibilities for her to be motivated.

He wanted to teach her everything he knew, he wanted her to learn from him, she was so smart that it was hard for him to see how she didn't know that, how she racked her brain last semester by pushing her brain so hard into a way of learning that wasn't suitable for her.

He was willing to help her understand in every way possible to make it easy for her this time. But I'd be lying if he said he didn't want to know more about her… About who she really was, to know why she is so passionate about philosophy, to know if she was the pretty, polite girl that all the teachers talk about. But one thing he did know, she was the prettiest girl his eyes had seen in a while.

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Maths genius (Michael Gavey x Reader)

synopsis: You ask your class mate for a tutor session under the guise of desperately needing it. To his surprise he gets something much better than having to try to teach a girl maths.

warnings: flirting, smut, a bit of dry humping, p in v sex, afab reader

word count: 2.7k

taglist: @fan-goddess @hopelesswritergall

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom/series or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

A/N: Writers block still has me tight in it´s clutches, but I´ve watched Saltburn for the first time today and I didn´t want to write on this for another week so here you have my first Michael Gavey fic.

As you walk into the otherwise quiet library the clicking of your heels fills the room. Prompting a few students to turn their heads and look. You don't think much about them as you take a book from the large shelves and spot a person from your lectures. Michael Gavey. So you decide to sit down close to him. You had always thought him to be rather cute. Even if nerdy and slightly off putting, still.

You focus back on the book in front of you. However, in a matter of minutes however your confident posture crumbles to a confused expression.

It takes another while for you to look up from the book in frustration. So you miss the way he avoids eye contact at all costs. Yet you search it out nevertheless.

"Hey, you are Michael Gavey, right?" You speak quietly as to not disturb the other students.

“Uh yeah” His tone is nothing short of standoff-ish and at the same time surprised. It is clear that he wasn’t expecting to be spoken to.

It takes you back slightly, but you continue nonetheless. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to bother you, but we are in the same class."

“Oh, we are. I don’t remember your name though.”

You offer him your name with a small smile. You understand that he hadn't had the easiest time connecting with your classmates, so you made a point to be different from them.

"Say, you are like a certified maths genius. Do you do tutoring?" You switch seats to sit right across the table from him.

A not entirely recognizable spark lights up behind the glasses as you do so.

“Uh… I don’t tutor or anything. Are you having trouble?” His tone softens ever so slightly.

"Yes. I have been falling behind ever since we started the new topic. I just don't get it. At all." You play with a strand of your hair and lean forward a bit in the hopes to make him say yes.

As soon as he identifies your flirting you can see he draws a blank. It's honestly kinda cute.

“Well, m-maybe you want to come over to my place later..." When he realizes that that could sound weird taken out of context, he quickly adds "So I can teach you.”

"That would be just great, but I thought maybe we could meet up at my dorm?”

You take one of your fingers to trace small patterns into the back of his hand. You know you are laying it on thick, it´s visible in the uncertain spark behind the nerdy glasses, lighting up his piercing blue eyes.

“Yeah, of course! Let’s do your room. What building are you in?” The way Michael nods so fast you are scared that his glasses fall off, makes you hide a giggle behind your hand.

"Gimme your hand." You grab a pen and pull his hand towards you.

When you write your room number onto the inside of his wrist, Michael´s eyes lock with yours like a deer in headlights.

“Got it. I’ll be over at 7:00. Will that work?”

"That works perfectly actually. I'll see you then." You give him a wink and strut away with what Michael believes to be a bit of a spring in your step.

“Um... yeah... see you then.”

His eyes follow your retreating form until you are out of sight, before he looks down at your note again, while you smile to yourself. There is only one more lecture separating you from your little `date´.

One lecture and one clothing change later, you are just about to freshen up your lipgloss when a faint knock can be heard from the door. Right on the time that you agreed upon. Michael looks down to his shuffling feet on the ground when you open the door to him, which gives you the advantage of seeing his full reaction to seeing your clothes. Bit by bit his blue eyes wander up over the thigh high stockings, pausing at the pleated skirt and over the oversized sweater until they come to a halt on your face. Instantly any sound of your name dies on his tongue.

“I um… I’m here for the… the math lesson.” He mumbles. It's almost comical how his face reddens as he pushes the glasses up his nose.

The reaction elicits a giggle from you. It is obvious that there will be a lot done tonight, but studying wouldn't take up the biggest part of it.

"Come on in." You take a step back to make way for his tall figure to enter your room.

He nods once as he does so. His gaze getting drawn back to you as he tries to maintain eye contact.

“You look… uh…”

"I look...?" It's kind of fun to see him struggle like this.

“H-hot. You look really hot and it’s distracting.” He quickly looks down so as to avoid your gaze again to hide the worsening of the blush. "So, where do we start?”

"At the beginning, maybe?" You smirk.

“Yeah… good point.” He sits down at the desk while you lean over him.

As he opens your book and begins to explain to you the foundations of the topic you let your breasts graze Michael's back and arm deliberately every now and again to put him off. It's not a hard task, with every brush of your sweater against his shirt, he stumbles over his words. It is palpable that no matter how hard he is trying to concentrate on the work in front of him, your body pulls his eyes away from the book again and again. At one point you even think you can see his length twitch underneath the cargo shorts. Letting this go on for as long as you can, you eventually put on a seemingly concerned and innocent face and lay a hand on his forehead as if to feel his temperature.

"My... You are so warm. Are you feeling well?"

Behind his eyes the wheels are turning in a desperate attempt to think of a clever response, but at this point it is just impossible. As soon as you placed your hand on Michael's forehead, all that comes out is “I-I… uh… I… “

"Come, sit on the bed. I think we should take a break from studying." You gently take his hands in yours to lead him over to the edge of your bed.

A lead without even thinking about it. The urge to just give himself up to you is building rapidly by the second.

“S-sorry. Uh… I mean I… “

"Shhh." You lay your finger under his chin to keep his gaze locked with yours. "Is this your first time?"

"Yes." Michael breathes out.

"Stop me if I go too far..." You murmur against his lips, closing your eyes just before you lean down more for your lips to meet in a feather light brush.

A shiver went through his previously relaxed body and his hot breath hit your lips harder as he kissed back. Your hand that currently holds him by the chin wanders upwards to cup one of Michael's cheeks. His hands begin to slide down the outside of your thigh, suddenly pulling you onto his lap. As he does so, the fabric of the skirt bunches at your waist. The action provokes your breath to falter and to press your body as close to his as possible. Instinctively your lips open further, to allow for a more intense kiss. One of Michael´s hands wanders behind your back to support you on his lap and then, finally, he moves his lips to your neck, giving it a soft bite.

"Oh, Michael." You whimper as his teeth graze your skin. Grinding your core against his lap as a reaction.

His hands wander further up under the fabric of your sweater, cold skin caressing warm skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Don't stop kissing me, please." Your words are barely a shuddering whisper.

His mouth leaves your neck and moves down your body to kiss your chest through the thick sweater. Sucking on your nipples until there are two wet spots staining it. The bundled nerves standing hard at attention, but your sweater is in the way of what you are doing, so his hands wander from just under your ribs further up. With a tingle running down your spine you lift your arms up in aiding him to throw the piece of fabric to the side. Not caring where it lands. You are all too glad to lose it. He too doesn't waste a single second and litters your breasts with kisses and nibbles. This time though, you feel a tug at the hem of your skirt.

The sensation makes your desire for him grow incredibly high. The zipper on the side  gets opened fast and in a swift motion you lift your body off his lap just long enough to kick it aside. There is no time or need for words.

"Your body is incredible." The words hit your skin between heavy breaths as his hands run over your stomach, rubbing tight circles into the soft skin before continuing to wander down to massage your thighs. Michael's lips wander further down your body as well to follow suit. His warm tongue traces down your middle from the valley between your breasts down to just about your belly button. Your reaction to his teasing came instantly in the form of a quiet moan. Which got followed by a knock at your door. Assuming it was just your friend that forgot something the other day, you don't make an effort to stop what you are currently doing. She needed to learn eventually after all, a notion which gets you an uncertain look from Michael beneath you.

But you only place a finger on your lips in a sign to be quiet.

"Shhh" You whisper to him and then thread your hands into his short hair to guide his face right in front of your exposed chest. Something he willingly allows, attaching his lips to nibble at your bosom. Littering it with bite marks and hickeys, tracing every little curve of it. The ministrations get you to completely forget about the knock on the door just a second ago and also the one rule you set after it. Yet at his needy nibbles and licks you can't help being unable to hold back the squeal of enjoyment that sounds through the room.

In a hurry Michael moves his mouth away from your chest and covers your mouth with one of his hands.

“Shhhhh... Your friend will hear us.” His palm lays snug against your face, so as not to let any sounds through. Something that you allow until you get a better idea. Unbothered if the two of you can be heard any longer, you warp your lips around Michael´s long, slender fingers to swirl your tongue around them teasingly.

A shock of warmth goes through his body, making itself noticeable by the way his face burned. When you feel like he had been teased enough, you let his hand free with a wet `pop´

Immediately they get replaced by his lips once more as they catch yours in a searing kiss, at which you let out a most sinful sounding moan.

“Fuck…” Both of you curse under your breaths simultaneously.

By now he has done a great job at making you desperate for more and so your trembling fingers move down to work at the buttons of his shirt. It takes a while, but eventually and with a bit of teamwork, you are able to throw it to the ground as well. Just then Michael leans all the way back until his back lays flat against the mattress. The new position makes it easier for you to grind against him, a chance you use immediately by running your barely covered cunt over the tent in the blond's pants.

"I need more..." A tiny whimper passes Michael's lips. "Need to be inside of you."

At his words your hands stop caressing his body and come down to fumble open the button of his pants. Though you don't entirely grant him his wish yet. The moment is too good to not stretch out. His pants and underwear get pulled down barely as far as they need to, before you grind on his dick again. As you do so, his member twitches up to tease your covered clit, which makes your head fall back and mouth open to make way for steadily heavier growing breaths.

When you lean forward to lock your swollen lips with his again however you move your hips a bit too far. So as you move them backwards again you only have a short moment to process the fact that his cock had slipped past the lace panties and entered your fluttering, wet heat.

“You´re so tight.” Michael can´t fight off or quieten the loud moan any longer, but the complete lack of stimulation after what you had done previously began to get to you.

“Shit. Michael I really need you to move or else I´m going crazy.” Though it wasn´t an ask from your side it also wasn´t a command, yet the blond followed it instantly. His hands gripped your hips tightly and set a slow rhythm by guiding your movements to meet his thrusts.

Both of your moans, groans, whines and whimpers fill the room along with the wet slapping of skin against skin.

”Feels so good, Michael. Feel so good inside of me.” You lean back and prop yourself up on his thighs, allowing you to fasten the movements of your hips.

“I´m not going to last much longer. You´re so wet and perfect.” He mumbles as the flush on his cheeks darkened and spreading over his face until it reached the tips of his ears.

His cock twitches inside of you as if to underline that statement. So you lead one of his hands away from your hips to your throbbing clit. Picking up on your actions Michael's thumb rubs small, tight circles into the sensitive bundle of nerves. Reveling in the way your walls flutter even further around his length, bringing him closer to the edge as your noises become even more urgent and high pitched.

“Come for me.” You say when you feel yourself get close as well. It is a whisper at first, but with a little concentration from that hazy brain of yours, you are able to repeat it a little louder. “Come for me, now.”

The blond´s eyes roll back into his head, one last whimper leaves his lips and then the feeling of warm ropes of cum filling your core floods your body. His hips stutter in their movements, but yours are from done. Continuously and relentlessly they drive you up and down on his cock. Soon after Michael you get overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure, forcing you to sit back in his lap as your legs and hips shake from the climax. Swaying back and forth on top of him for a while, before you are able to catch your breath and think straight again.

“Shit…” You hear Michael whisper beneath you.

Looking down at him, you can´t conceal a giggle at how entirely fucked out he looks. His hair is mussed and his glasses sit slightly crooked on that sharp nose. It´s almost comical.

The two of you take some more time to come back to reality and get dressed again.

“I better be going now.” Michael croaks, lingering close to you for a second. Uncertain if he should say what he was thinking. “But um… If you would like to have another study session some time… I wouldn´t be opposed to that.”

“I wouldn´t be opposed to it at all either.” Followed your flirty response.

It surprises him visibly, though he manages to sort himself out rather quickly.

“Do you mean that?” He inquires.

“I surely do. Give me your number and I´ll call you.” It is more of a suggestion, but he gives you his number so fast you almost have trouble catching it the first time. Snapping your phone shut after saving it, you turn to look back at Michael.

“I can´t wait to see you again.” You wink and give a small, alluring wave.

[blackhairandbangs]

So You Admit It

Kim Seungmin x Reader

info/masterlist

genre: Angst, but pure cat and mouse flirting

summary: college!seungmin has been getting under your skin since day one, but you soon find out it's for a good reason

warnings: seungmin is actually a dick, arguing, lots of flirting!! he is a FLIRT in this, little makeout at the end, suggestive words, little bit of cursing

word count: 2.1K

You and your good friend, Jeongin were talking in the back corner of your lecture hall right before class began. He had the class right before, so it became a tradition for him to wait for you and catch up during the in-between of your two classes. The two of you exchanged a laugh as Jeongin showed you a funny picture he had taken on his phone earlier in the day. Right as your professor walked in, Jeongin began to stand up from his seat, allowing you to focus on the beginning of class.

"Hey, I'll see you later, okay? Have a good class!" he waved, walking out the back door, exchanging a glance with the boy entering at the same time, taking the seat next to you he was once sitting in.

Kim Seungmin now occupies the seat once held by your friend, slowly becoming a part of your daily routine. Jeongin gets up before class begins, and Seungmin walks in just about a minute late to take the empty seat.

"Didn't I tell you to stop talking to that guy?" he scoffs, not yet making eye contact as he takes out his laptop to start his notes.

You cross your arms, eyeing him down slightly, "and why should I be listening to you?"

Seungmin smirks, his gaze flickering to your arms before meeting your eyes, "Because I can make your life a living hell if I really wanted to…" he trails off, allowing you to look away and ignore his comment, trying to focus on whatever today's lecture was about. You don't feel his gaze leave your face, so you look back up, waiting for him to say something.

"Besides, don't you enjoy my company more?" he asks, a grin sneaking up on his lips.

"No, I'm not quite sure I do," You turn away from him once more to face the front of the lecture hall, "So can you please stop bothering me so I don't waste my tuition here?"

Seungmin smirked, leaning close to your ear to make sure you could hear him.

"I'm sure we could could make a deal here. How about you focus on your studies today, and maybe later I could even help you out…when we're alone…" he allows his sentence to linger, his hot breath just behind your ear.

"I don't need any tutoring, thank you," you reply to him coldly, knowing tutoring could not have been what he was referring to.

"You're right," he huffed, leaning back in his chair, "Good thing I meant something else entirely." A flush falls on your cheeks. This guy has been bothering you for weeks, but not once has he made a comment like this.

You let out a huff of air, "Maybe if you stop acting like a dick all the time, we could talk about it." You continue looking at the lesson, twirling your pen in between your fingers as a distraction from the boy next to you.

Seungmin gives a small laugh to your comment.

"Oh, sweetheart. I'm not always a dick, you know?" He flashed a disarming smile at you. The kind that would make other girls fall to their knees for him, "I promise I can be quite charming when I want to be."

You allow yourself to look at him after his last comment, a small laugh escaping your lips.

"Now I'm sure this may work on other girls, but I know who you are, Kim Seungmin." Your words spat at him with disgust.

"Oh, really? And who am I, according to you? You seem to know quite a bit about me," He spoke, eyebrows raising in amusement. He had the feeling he had finally got to you.

"Hmm, let's see," you hum, using your hand to create a list, "One, you're self-centered. Two, you're mean. Three, you go through girls like it's a game to you…Should I keep going?" His face goes dark hearing the words that just left your mouth. As the class finally draws a close, you pack up your books and pens. You get up from your seat as the professor begins to make his exit and you head for the back door, leaving a glare at the boy still sitting in the seat next to where you just were.

The next evening, you found yourself sitting in your favorite corner of the library, books spread out on the table in front of you and headphones over your head. The whole library was pretty empty due to it being late on a Friday night. You tended to use this time for studying as the library didn't feel as crowded as normal with students rifling through the shelves, struggling to finish their term papers on time. Your mind was so focused on the work you were completing you didn't even hear the voice approaching behind you.

Ah, the perfect study spot, right?" Seungmin asked, making you jump slightly. He walks around to the other side of the table, pulling out the chair to have a seat across from you.

"Sure, why don't you come join me," you groan sarcastically, gesturing to the already occupied seat.

The boy leaned back in his chair, "Oh come on now, I know you would love for me to join you." His gaze flickered between the books he had brought with him and you. A playful grin yet to leave his lips.

You slam your textbook shut in frustration. This was supposed to be your quiet time. An escape from the disruptions and loud volume the rest of campus tended to carry.

"Now when have I ever possibly given you that idea?" You huffed, not looking up from the table.

God, you just wished he would leave you alone. His intentions were never clear. You had a hard time reading Seungmin all semester. Was he looking for another victim of his one-night stands? Did he want you to fall in love with him and write his essays?

"You didn't have to say anything," Seungmin smirked, "I could tell from the way your heart skipped a beat when I walked in." He laughed lightly, enjoying the little game of back-and-forth you two were having.

You roll your eyes at his comment, unable to really look him in the face.

"Or, that could've been the fear of you sneaking up behind me in an empty library!" you say, still not giving him the attention he desired. Seungmin sat up in his chair, resting his elbows on the table to lean closer to you.

"Oh come on," he started, giving you a smile. "You know you love it when I'm around! I mean all you do is talk to me." His voice was soft but carried an underlying tone of need. You look up at him for the first time in minutes, eyeing his lips. A flush falls slightly over your cheeks as his words tear into you.

"Sure, I'll let you believe that," you speak, looking away slightly as to not show him the effect his words were starting to have on you. Seungmin gets up to walk over to your seat on the other side of the table.

"Fine," he huffed allowing himself to lean down behind you, his mouth lingering close to your ear. "I'll just have to find a way to prove it to you." His hot breath sent a chill down your spine. You drop the pencil you were holding as you feel yourself get slightly flustered. "What are you-"

"There!" Seungmin said with a smirk as he straightened himself back up. "You couldn't even handle me being that close to you, could you?" He let out a small laugh, seeing how his teasing was starting to eat at your mind.

"What I can't handle is you interrupting my study time!" You say, feeling yourself become a flustered mess. What was he doing to you? You allow yourself to recompose, going back to the notes you had been attempting to take.

He laughed, still standing behind your chair. You tried to ignore him the best you could. "Study time?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "Just admit I make you flustered," he teases. "I can see what I do to you, ya know?"

You stand up from your chair, finally deciding you have had enough of his games for today. "Why the hell would I ever admit something that stupid?"

"Oh I don't know," he replies, shrugging nonchalantly. "Maybe because it's true?" He uses this time to inch closer to you, still leaving a bit of space in between where the two of you stood. "Or maybe you're just too shy to tell me," he coos, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Your cheeks are hot, a shiver running down your arm feeling his sudden touch.

You push his hand off of you, not knowing what would happen if you let him continue. "Or maybe, you're just too much of an asshole to see not every girl is on their knees begging for a chance with you." You scoff at him, turning your body away slightly.

He lets out a breathy laugh. "It's alright. I know deep down you really, really want me." His words cut straight through you, and you felt yourself filling up with anger. A need to prove yourself. You suck your teeth, debating on the right thing to say.

"Fine," You begin. "If I want you that bad, why don't you come and kiss me! And when I have no reaction, will you finally just leave me alone?"

Seungmin's eyes widened at what he was hearing. You knew this was a dangerous game to be playing. You didn't want to admit it, but everything that let you up to this moment just proved how much you really did need to feel his body against yours. He knew what you were doing.

"Alright," He spoke, raising his hands almost to surrender to the offer. "Go for it." He spoke through gritted teeth, just wanting to have his way. He stepped closer, allowing his lips to hover near yours. His heart raced with anticipation and fear. The moment felt stretched out as the tension teetered on the edge of cruelty and desire. You close the gap, leaving a quick kiss on his lips, knowing anything longer would leave you wanting more.

"See?" you started to speak and Seungmin's eyes widened in surprise before narrowing into slits. "Absolutely no reaction-"

Before letting you finish, he grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you back to him. His lips crashed against yours in a rough desperate kiss. His tongue forcing his way into your mouth. His lips demanded more.

You allow yourself to finally give in to the second kiss, praying that he wasn't trying to just play with your emotions. The kiss was rough, but still felt sincere, letting you loosen up a bit against him. You wrap your arms around his neck, finally admitting to yourself you wanted more. More than the back-and-forth you have played all semester.

"Mmph," Seungmin moaned into your lips, his hand snaking down to slip under the hem of your shirt, tracing shapes on your back. He pulled away from the kiss slowly, his breathing heavy.

"So you admit it." It wasn't a question, but rather a smug statement. You catch your breath, forehead leaning against his. "Don't let it get to your head."

"Oh, I already have, love" he chuckles darkly, leaning down to leave small kisses along your jawline. "But that doesn't mean I'll stop." You let out a small moan before pushing him off of you, snapping back into your reality.

"Not here…" you trail off, remembering you are still in the library. It was empty, but that still wasn't a chance you were willing to take. "Fine," Seungmin pouted, walking back to throw his bag over his shoulder. "But this isn't over."

He began to walk out of the library, leaving you standing against the back wall, your hair looking a bit tousled. His eyes held a strong mix of need and sincerity as he gave you one last glance. "You're mine now, doll. I'll see you tomorrow."

a/n: I hope you guys enjoyed my first SKZ fic! My inbox is open for requests if anyone would like to submit anything. I want to try and get back into writing more.

[chouxsardine]

Permission to Fall -- Jake Kiszka x reader

Summary: "Don't be afraid of falling, because he will catch you everytime" --Where things became too much at your company's Christmas party and Jake comes to the rescue as the most thoughtful boyfriend that he is.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 3211

Warnings: descriptions of a panic attack, feet (nothing gross or super detailed), a drop of superstition (let me know if I've missed any)

Genre: Fluff, hurt/comfort

Author's note: This is originally an idea inspired by @jakesguitarsolo and written for her. I hope you feel better now, dear. One idea spins into me pulling an all nighter...And here it is. This also goes to whoever feels stressed around this time of the year. Yes, things are tough, but you are stronger. I am so proud of you. If you want to talk, feel free to send me an ask or message. This is my first gvf fic and my first time writing anything for threes years. I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it too.

🎧: I am listening to I Need You Most of All by Stephen Sanchez while writing this (you can tell the title is taken from the lyrics)

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Suddenly everything is too much.

But you know damn well that it doesn’t just happen “suddenly”. In fact, shit has been building up for days, or even weeks. You don’t know if it’s the end-of-year frenzy getting into everyone’s head, Mercury is in retrograde, or the depleted Vitamin D levels due to shortened daylight, you’ve had it particularly rough recently, from small inconveniences like your favourite snack being out of stock at the local grocery store for three consecutive weeks to mishaps like you taking the blame for your impotent coworker. You are exhausted, to say the least; you couldn’t wait for the holidays. Not entirely for its cheer, but for the few precious days off. You just need a break from everything.

Now you are stuck in your company’s holiday party. The annual event that you dreaded the most. It involves too many fake smiles, false-hearted small talk, and tooth-rotting-sweet cupcakes that clearly have too much food colouring. All the mental preparing goes south as you stand in the room, the stabbing pain from your high-heels growing more and more unbearable by the second. Too many people.

“Just another thirty minutes, you can do it. Just another thirty minutes”. You hopelessly glance at the clock on the wall, flashbacking to your childhood self squirming in the seats waiting for math class to end.

But of course, something has to make matters worse. The real straw that breaks the camel’s back is your clumsy coworker accidentally bumping into you and spilling her drink on your shoes.

“Oh my god, I am so so sorry, y/n!” She hastily apologizes in a high-pitched squeal. A few people turn their heads toward your direction.

“No, no, it’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Embarrassment. Embarrassment. Panic. Trouble. You try to wave her off. The shoes aren’t even your top concerns right now; you just want her to stop talking and stop attracting more unwanted attention.

“Really? Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to! It’s just—”

“Please.” You take the handful of tissues from her, look her in the eyes, almost pleading, “It’s fine. Please excuse me, I’ll just go to the washroom real quick.”

Once the washroom door is closed behind you, you feel like collapsing right there on the floor. You wobble your way to the sink, arms propped up on the cold marble surface. You don’t dare to look at yourself in the mirror. Your ears are buzzing and the twisted feeling in your lungs tightens. As if a cold hand is wringing a wet towel inside your stomach, as if someone is shoving your head into cold water, you can't breath properly. You try to draw a breath, but end up sounding like a stranded whale. Before it develops into a full-blown panic attack that you can’t handle, you managed to muster the last bit of your sanity and dial that number with trembling fingers.

Jake picks up on the second ring.

“Hi, love. What’s up? ”

Upon hearing his voice, your tears break free. You are sobbing so hard that you have to bite down on your knuckles to keep the volume down. God forbid any busybody out there overhearing sobbing coming out of the washroom. “Ja—Jake—-”You struggled to form a coherent syllable.

“What’s wrong, y/n? Are you hurt?” His voice immediately grows sterner, stripped of of the previous languidness.

To talk under this state feels like squeezing words out of your veins. “Ca—can—you..come p—pick me up? Company—p-party.” You stutter through gritted teeth.

There is some shuffled noise over the phone, a loud bang sounding like he had bumped into something, a silent “fuck” under his breath, then his voice reaches your ears again: “Coming right now, baby, take a deep breath for me.”

You hear the faint beeping of car keys. More shuffled noise. More beeping. That means he has started the car, right? That means he will be here soon, right? You mind is racing and spinning and your lungs are still acting up, only allow silvers of oxygen into your body. You feel like you are watching the world through a distorted filter. A scarier thought jumps into your brain: you whiny puny thing, continue crying and your panic will affect Jake. The roads are slippery now, and it will be all your fault if he ends up in a car accident.

As if being slapped in the face, you manage to suck in a deep breath like a scuba diver resurfacing to the water: “Drive safe please, please Jake, please—I will wait for you.”

Jake makes a sound that is somewhat between a relieved laugh and a resigned sigh. He knows instantly what’s going on in your overthinking brain; you are worried about him. The thoughtfulness must be engraved in y/n’s brain, he thought, always, always putting others in front of herself, even when she’s having a panic attack. And Jake knows you are correct. It is only upon hearing your words that he realizes how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. He recomposes himself, relaxing his shoulder, “Don’t you worry about me, love. I will stay on the phone if that makes you feel better, yeah? Ain’t nothing gonna happen to me.”

“Knock on wood!” You hiss between sobbing, frantically searching for any wooden material around you. Damn it, why is everything so shiny and glassy?

Jake is amazed that he even lets out a short laugh under the circumstances. Yes, his heart aches hearing his girl being a mess over the phone, and he wishes he could grow wings and fly to her side. But meanwhile, he can't help but find you cute like this. He knocks three times on the mini wooden tissue box that he keeps in the middle console.

“Yes, knock on wood. You hear that, doll?”

“Hmm.” You would honestly believe anything now. Hearing Jake’s voice and imagining him coming to you is like brown noise for babies. Your lungs finally decide to have mercy on you, and you can now somehow draw in shallow breaths albeit the pain in your chest.

Jake is relieved as he sees the green lights shining at the last intersection before turning left onto the side road where your company is located. “I’m here. Can you come down by yourself, love? Or do you want me to get you?”

“I can come down.” You say. The thought of him finding you in a messy pile on the bathroom floor makes you wince, even though he’d probably seen worse.

“Okay baby, see you in a second.”

You don’t remember how you collected your coat and pushed your way through the crowded room without many people noticing. The next moment, your sensations are restored, and you find yourself already in Jake’s arms. He's waiting for you in the area between the automatic glass door and the revolving door outside, a place that is warm with air conditioning but won’t attract nosy people. He wraps you in a hug with his wool jacket. His comforting scent fills your nostrils, a powerful pacifier for your naughty lungs. For the first time this evening, you can finally breathe properly like a normal human being. The rush of fresh air makes you release a loud sob like a newborn baby. The relief of seeing him safely standing in front of you and the release of finally being free from the stressful and stuffy environment ushers more tears to stream down your face.

“Shhhh…..you’re okay now, y/n, safe now. I’m here.” His hand wraps protectively around the back of your head as he plants kisses into your hair. “Poor girl, let’s get to the car and go home.”

Home. Home sounds heavenly to your right now. You couldn’t think of a better combination of these four letters in the whole of human history.

On the way back, you curl into a ball on the passenger seat like a battered puppy. Jake holds your hand whenever he gets the chance, his strong calloused fingers gently massaging yours, tracing the patterns on your palm, his thumb brushing the back of your hand, providing warmth. No longer crying, your shoulders occasionally shudder with involuntary sobs that escape you. But other than that, you are falling into a trance. Your gaze concentrated on Jake’s perfect side profile through hooded eyes, watching in awe as the passing streetlights formed patterns of shadow on his graceful nose and cheeks; your mind numb without a single thought.

It is only when Jake wakes you up that you realize you have fallen asleep. The car is already parked in the garage, the familiar and comforting damp smell seeping in.

“We are home now, sleepyhead.” Jake smiles at you, tapping on your wrist to signal you to wait as he gets out of the car and opens your side of the door. Just as you were about to step off, Jake reaches to cradle you by the shoulders and knees, carrying you bridle-style into the house. You hide your face shyly in the crook of his neck, secretly grateful because your feet are indeed sore in those heels.

Jake puts you down by the shoe rack, motioning you to put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as he squats down in front you, holding your ankles and taking off your shoes. If he did see the stains, he didn’t ask any questions, only cooed when he saw the blisters on your heels.

“Let’s go upstairs and get your makeup off, then we’ll cuddle and go to bed, yeah?” Jake stands up, hanging up your coat before cupping your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead.

You never hated makeup more than now, regretting to put it on in the first place, now that it has become the annoying barrier lying in your way to bedtime. But Jake says “let’s,” that means he’s going to do it together with you, right?

“Jake?” You whine bashfully.

“Yes, love?”

You tilt up your chin and close your eyes, “One more kissy, please?”

Jake swears he feels a part of his heart melt right there. Who is he to deny you?

“Of course, as many as my princess would like.”

Stepping into the bathroom, Jake sits you on the closed toilet seat. He opens the drawer, grabs your makeup remover and some cotton pads. He applies some liquid onto the wipes and lifts up your chin.

“Close your eyes for me, love.” The cool liquid on your eyelids makes your eyebrows twitch, causing Jake to chuckle, “I know, I know. Just a little longer.”

You sit quietly, mesmerized and hypnotized under his touch. His movements are almost rhythmic. Is this how cats feel when their owners scratches behind their ears? You fear that if you make a sound, you will actually let out a purr.

Jake continues until most of your makeup is gone. “Hold out your hands,” you hear him say and complied. Two dollops of foamy liquid landed in the centre of your palm, and you opened your eyes to recognize they are your face wash. Jake tugs on your wrist, leading you to stand in front of the sink.

“Can you wash your pretty face now, darling? Wash up, and I’ll be back in a minute.”

You nodded, feeling lighter and more relaxed now without your makeup and even more content when you turn on the tap and find out that Jake has already tuned it to a lukewarm temperature for you.

When Jake returned, he was calling you from the bedroom. You have already brushed your teeth and let down your hair.

You walked into the bedroom and are welcomed by the scent of bergamot and sandalwood from your favourite candle glowing on the night stand. Jake was pulling an old T-shirt out from the closet. It was the vintage Joan Jett and The Blackhearts shirt, the patterns half faded, and materials worn-out soft. You saw him laying out one of his boxers for you too. He knows you always prefer them to your own underwear as pyjamas.

“Come sit, angel.” He patted the bench at the foot of the bed, him sitting across from it on a small stool.

It is only when you walked close that you saw the wooden foot spa basin, with clouds of steam rising from it. As you sat down, he gently took your ankle and balanced your feet on the edge of the basin, so that the hot water is steaming your sole.

“It’s still a bit hot.” He looks up to you. “I put Epsom salt and eucalyptus oil in it.”

“Where did you get this?” You feel like the heat from the bottom of the feet is slowly being absorbed into your veins and rising up to your cheeks. You wiggle your toes nervously.

Jake lets out a giggle, “Well, mum suggested once to Josh about the foot spa thing, said it helps with stress and tense muscles. You know, with him running barefoot on stage and all.” He reaches down to sprinkle some water onto your feet, letting you adjust to the temperature. “But Josh got the fancy electric ones. I thought this is better. More authentic, don’t you think?”

“Uh-hmm.”

“Your nails are all chipped,” Jake looks down, “maybe tomorrow we can repaint them? I saw you bought a new colour the other day.”

Tender. So tender. From his tone to his caramel brown eyes. The light from the lamp illuminates the left side of his face, giving it a solemn, smooth glow like a wax statue. Your heart swells; love makes it rise like Soufflé in the oven. The soft surface rises up until it touches your ribcage, threatening to spill those tears again.

“Thank you, Jake.” You dare not raise your voice, fearing that it will break, “I just got a bit overwhelmed at the party, is all.”

Jake eases your feet slowly into the water now that it’s the perfect temperature. The slight sling of your blisters is soon overwhelmed by the all-encompassing warmth that rises all the way to your ankle.

After a few heart beats, he speaks again. “You’ll always have me, y/n. You are allowed to fall, to break. I will be here to catch you, to piece you together. Whatever you need.”

Finally you were snuggled together in bed. You, a human koala, cling to Jake with your face pressed against his chest. His arm snakes around your shoulder, fingers mindlessly tracing your collarbone, strumming some unknown patterns. His heartbeat thumping in your ear, the perfect lullaby. The steady rise and fall of his chest is like waves, rocking you into a sweet slumber. Your eyelids feel heavy like velvet drapes. There’s still a stubborn voice in your brain keeping you from falling asleep. There’s still one more thing you need to do, even though you understood each other perfectly.

“Jake?” Your voice low like a murmur. Jake almost didn’t hear you at first.

“What is it, babe?”

“I love you.” Those words come out as a slur, and like a magic spell, you fall into the deep embrace of sleep as soon as the last syllable leaves your lips. Now clear of any stress and worries in the arms of your lover, the strained string in you brain that has been holding on for dear life the whole evening finally snaps. You’re out like a light.

“I love you back, y/n, through and through.” He whispers into your dream.

You woke up to an empty bed, the sheet on his side still has the human-shaped imprint. Jake is a night owl; it is pretty common that he just gets up in the middle of the night and ends up doing some random things around the house. Most often it’s him strumming the guitar and experimenting with his ideas for new tunes in the home studio downstairs. But you have also caught him fixing chipped paint on the walls, repotting the succulents in the garage, and pouring broth into the crockpot with chicken thighs and smoked ham hock (“so we could have warm chicken chili in the morning!”; to be honest, it’s indeed delicious; you had two bowls and had to skip lunch that day). Just to name a few, so the possibilities are endless.

You get out of bed, creep cross the corridor and tiptoe your way down the stairs. The lights at the doorway are on; you thought Jake forgot to turn them off. However, as you approach, you see Jake squatting down next to the shoe rack, his back towards you, and a brush and some spray bottles laying nearby.

You move closer and see him holding the clothes steamer near your wine-stained shoes. The heels you wore have a suede tip in the front, and unfortunately, that’s where the wine was mostly spilt on. After a few moments, Jake uses the wire brush to clean the surface. He stops from time to time, holding it further to inspect the result.

You waited until he stops again to make some sounds, announcing your presence. Jake immediately turns around. His eyes softens upon seeing you.

“What are you doing up?”

You go to squat down next to him, kissing his temple before resting your head on his shoulder.

“You just bought these not so long ago, yeah? It’d be a shame to leave them stained.” Jake lets more steam soak into the fabric before brushing them again. “I’m almost done. I saw this trick online, and it looks pretty legit.” It’s only then that you noticed his phone on the side, the screen showing the replies from some Reddit post.

“Thank you, baby.” You rub your cheeks slightly on his T-shirt; the feeling of warm pastry once again fills your heart.

“No worries, doll. I think it’s good for now. Let’s leave them here and check in the morning.” Jake starts putting away his tools before pulling you up and wrapping his arm around your waist, leading you back upstairs.

On your way, something familiar catches your eye. You must’ve missed it earlier.

“Wait, where did you get that?” You stop, pointing at what happens to be a whole case of your favourite snack lying on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, I saw the stores are out of them, so I ordered them online. They just arrived today.” Jake scratches his head, his tone tainted with slight disappointment.“I thought they’d be a nice surprise as stocking stuffers, but…”

You stopped him mid-sentence with a kiss.

“I love you.” This time you said it clear against his lips.

“Oh doll, I love you back,” he smiles, showing the cutest wrinkle on his nose. His hands brush your shoulder as you resume your steps upstairs. “Let’s get a few more hours of sleep now. And when you wake up, you will wake up to some yummy pancakes and a pair of stain-free shoes, huh? How does that sound?”

Oh Lord, that sounds heavenly. That sounds just like home.

“I’d like that, Jake. I’d like that very, very much.”

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Thank you for reading :) any comments and feedbacks are greatly welcomed and deeply appreciated

(The stain-removing tips comes from malccy72 on reddit :D

If you also feel like reading a smutty (but also fluffy?) piece🤭: Mariner's Complex || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones

or some Christmas fluff: Ticked (all my boxes)

[vlrspace]

cw: angst/comfort, you get doubts about your relationship with shoto, there’s one (1) heated make out session, maybe a bit suggestive, shoto might be a bit ooc, tw: panic attack

wc: 4.2K

an: there might be some errors, i’m sorry. i have like three other fics to work on, but it’ll take me some time so stay tuned <33

when shoto confessed to you, you could hardly believe that he reciprocated your feelings. it had been a few months since then and he already showered you with so much of his love and affection, recently he’s been opening up to you some more as well.

behind his stoic behaviour, shoto is actually quite gentle and caring towards those who are close to him. he makes sure you two study together at least once a week, if you need help with training he’s happy to provide his services and he likes to take you out during the weekends. he knows you’re always there for him after a nightmare or when he gets flashbacks from his rather traumatic childhood, comforting him anytime he needs. in his opinion you’re the best thing ever happening to him, his mom told him as well how important it is to experience a kind of love where you two are giving your all in.

he’s just so lovestruck, your beauty, your personality and everything that makes you, you, he’s just so happy to call you his girlfriend. you make everything so much better when you’re around, he feels like he’s floating and you’re the only thing keeping him grounded. anyone who encounters the two of you can see it in his eyes, how the colours soften when you’re around, his sole focus on you, how you draw him in and how he’s always touching you in some way (sometimes the others call you over when they see you walk pass just to see how shoto’s expression changes in a split second, they think it’s adorable). he also knows how much you affect him and so do you because you feel the same when he’s around.

so why on earth are you experiencing these ugly emotions when he never you gave you a reason to and would never let you feel like he doesn’t want you anymore like you’re not enough for him?

lately, shoto and momo have been spending more time together due to getting paired together often during trainings and projects and you know neither of them would go behind your back like that, they always have been very close since your first year but somehow it still sets you off. you’re not some clingy girlfriend, you actually feel so sick for doubting your boyfriend like that but you’re not too sure what to do.

momo is such a beautiful girls, tall, curvy and her long black hair is falling on her shoulders so nicely. she’s intelligent and so smart, gentle and kind with everyone and again she’s beautiful, her and shoto would fit perfectly together.

you feel the book against your head before you realise your actions, aizawa stopping in the middle of his lecture to look at you in the front row and you hear bakugou barking a laugh at you when you realise you’ve been overthinking again and hit your head unconsciously in class.

“care to elaborate on that (l/n)?” aizawa raises a brow but the end of his lips are curling somewhat up. he knows what an inner turmoil feels like and he can tell that lately you’ve been in your head too much.

“i listened to my impulse thoughts sensei” you give him a wide grin to save yourself from embarrassment or raise any suspicions in your friends and most importantly in your boyfriend. it seemed to work because everyone started laughing. aizawa decided to let the class having fun and let you be before the bell rung signing another end of a school day.

shoto came to stand next to while you were packing up and and brushed a thumb against your forehead. “it didn’t hurt right?” he murmured leaning down to press a kiss against it. you hummed quietly while shaking your head and give him a small smile which he gladly returned and laced your fingers together, grabbing your bag as well while leading you out of the class and you two feel into a comfortable conversation.

when you got to the dorms you two parted to change out of your uniforms and agreed to meet in the common room later. you took a while as you were cleaning your room, only wanting to rest during the weekend so you messaged shoto that you’d come down later. he asked if you needed some help but you told him you’d be fine.

you finished just before dinnertime and you headed downstairs, finding everyone lounging around the common room. your eyes found shoto who seemed to be content while talking to momo and oh did that ugly emotion just return? you swallowed the lump in your throat, not realising how quickly it appeared while trying to remain calm.

“oh (y/n), come over here!” midoriya chimmed up loudly when he saw you, making everyone turn towards you and your eyes found shoto once again when he looked at you with a fond smile. before you walked over there, you should’ve checked if there was anymore space left because there was none as you came to a stand. shoto however curled his hands around your thighs and pulled you into his lap, his firm torso pressing tightly against you, one large hand (left) swallowing up one of yours, the other one (right) on your thighs and his chin is on the crown of your head.

once you got comfortable in his lap, the others remained their conversation with each other, inviting you in but you can barely hear them, too focused on shoto and momo. your boyfriend is talking to momo about a gala both of their parents will attend soon while shoto’s hand is stroking your thigh. you can’t say you don’t like the affection he gives you but you wish he talked to you too (he was, he hoped you would join in), but the lump in your throat was growing bigger and harder to ignore.

“my love, are you okay? you’re not as talkative like you usually are” shoto’s whispering tugs you back to reality, you feel his breath on you neck as he presses a soft kiss on it.

“is there anything bothering you? would you like to talk about it?” momo’s soft voice reaches you, but you give both a small smile.

“i’m just a bit tired, this week was rough i guess” you try to reassure them, but your voice cracks by the end of your sentence.

“we can eat in your dorm if you’d like then cuddle and watch a movie. how does that sound huh?” shoto mutters quietly into your ear, the hand on your thigh never stopping its caressing. you grab the hand that’s holding your hand, feeling how cold it is from his quirk and you start playing with it while looking down and thinking how that one hand dwarfs both of yours.

“i promised mina that we’d play uno tonight” your voice is small but shoto understands every one of your words. “and i don’t wanna ruin anyone’s night either” you are not sure how much momo was listening at this point, but it didn’t matter.

at times like this, shoto hates how you put everyone else before you, sure he prioritises you over himself, but he doesn’t want you to feel guilty over things like ruining your friends’ night by simply not feeling well enough to socialise. he knows that your friends are more than understanding of how it can be tiring at times to be a hero in training and no one would blame you for wanting some alone time. however, he decides to not press any further and wants to remain by your side for the rest of the evening (and the rest of his life).

“dinner’s ready shitheads” bakugou shouts from the kitchen since it was his turn to cook. everyone gathers around the dinner tables and some are helping with bringing out the food. momo leaves your side, not wanting to intrude any further as shoto helps you stand up from his lap and places his left hand on the small of your back and lead you towards your usual table with the dekusquad.

while you two are eating, a cold hand is placed on your right thigh and you realise how shoto was silently comforting you, not wanting his girlfriend to be sad. it made your heart flutter how kind he was with you even if he didn’t know what was up. you start to feel stupid for feeling this way.

the rest of the night goes by, you feel a little better and shoto was by your side the whole time. while playing uno, he once again placed you on his lap and you two were playing together while he hugged you close to him, head tucked between where your shoulder and neck meet.

that night shoto insisted he sleeps with you and you were more than okay with that.

you reach your downfall or more like your breaking point two weeks later, on friday during school. the weeks have been packed with group projects (both school work and training), momo and shoto have been placed together most of the time, leading you two to barely see each other and when you did it was for one of the projects where you had been placed into groups of 5. you were with momo, shoto, midoriya and kirishima, it somewhat relieved you that at least you had midoriya and kirishima with you so it wasn’t that uncomfortable (for you). the chemistry between shoto and momo was insane, they respond so well to each other and it got you wondering if you had such connection with shoto too.

maybe you should just talk to him and let him explore what could potentially happen between the two of them. but you love him so dearly, he’s like oxygen for your lungs, he’s the sun on gloomy days and he owns your heart, mind and soul. there is never a day where he doesn’t remind you how gorgeous he finds you, how much he cares for you, how much he loves you. he always treats you like a diamond, soft touches running across your skin when he’s around, caresses either cold or hot, it never really mattered to you. also how can you forget the tender kisses he leaves on your body or how he kisses your neck when you have a hard time expressing yourself, not wanting to make you feel like you’re under pressure. or when he whispers in your ears and leans down to hear you better because you only reach up to his torso. he completely dwarfs you with his height and large muscles when he circles his arms around you pulling you to his chest where you feel the most safe and protected.

you hadn’t realised how the tears started to roll down on your cheeks, only when a warm hand reaches over to cup your face while wiping them away with a thumb and started to caress the skin turning you slightly towards the owner. when you meet with your boyfriends bi-coloured eyes a loud hiccup escapes you. quickly gathering your school blazer, you storm out of the classroom without any word, running towards the toilets as you wipe your eyes harshly. the footsteps rushing after you stop when you disappear in one of the stalls.

after pulling down the toilet seat, you sit on it and bury your face in your hands, you harshly grab onto the hair at your scalp, your sobs escaped you uncontrollably as you cried. it was getting harder to breath as you started to hyperventilate and your whole body shook, the hold on your scalp became stronger making you pull your hair harder. you sounded so pathetic, oh lord when did you become so miserable?

shoto heard you from outside of the toilets, both of his fists balled tightly next to him. his heart was breaking down the longer he stood out there. he couldn’t think of anything that could’ve possibly caused you to break down, you seemed to be doing alright, so what happened? why didn’t you tell him that something was up? he knows how he sometimes has trouble with understanding with what’s going on but he would do anything to make you happy, literally anything. your happiness matters the most to him, if you’re happy then he’s happy. shoto brushed through his hair, he didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t walk in to the toilets, people might the wrong idea so he walked back to class.

when shoto walked back to class, everyone turned towards him and a few rushed to shoto, asking if everything is okay. however, his glossy eyes and his disheveled form was alarming to everyone and more importantly, where were you?

“todoroki what happened? where’s (y/n)?” midoriya asked, worry evident in his voice as he grabbed his friends shoulders.

“she-she’s in the toilets, she’s-she’s crying, i d-don’t know what’s g-going on” shoto’s voice was broken, he kept his eyes on the floor, his tears threatening to fall down on his face.

“i’m going to go and talk to her okay?” ochaco offered quietly as she gently rubbed shoto’s arm. he only nodded, he wanted to be the one to make sure you’re okay, you’re his girlfriend after all, the most precious thing in the world. ochaco left to see you but he couldn’t just stand there, he needed to get to you too.

“aizawa sensei, is it okay if todoroki goes inside the girls toilets? we can stand outside as well, to make sure we avoid any incidents, but it’s important for him to talk to (y/n)” momo turned towards aizawa, hoping to get his permission. she knows how important you are to shoto, you’re all he ever talks about when you’re not around. she still vividly remembers when he first came to her about his weird feelings and he didn’t know what to do with them or how to act around you. she remembers the amount of effort shoto put into courting you and even now when he finally has you, shoto’s efforts only increased. she always felt happy knowing how much in love you two were.

“don’t cause too much trouble” is all what aizawa said after taking a deep breath in. whatever happened between the two of you, he knows you can solve it and you two are better because he’s not blind, he can see as well how you complete each other.

“come on midoriya, iida, lets make sure no one interrupts them” momo instructed while grabbing shoto’s arm and pulled him towards the toilets.

meanwhile, ochaco tried to comfort you as much as possible, when she first heard your cries, she teared up as well. poor you must’ve been feeling really sad to cry this hard.

“(y/n), it’s ochaco. please open the door for me” she gently coaxed you, hoping that you will open it up for her and when she felt the lock open, she felt relieved. when she opened the door though, the sight of you made her feel incredibly sorry for you. you were sitting on your blazer, your tie on the floor and your shirt was unbuttoned at the top. your mascara was running down on your face and your hair was a mess, you were a mess. “oh my god, (y/n), what’s wrong?” she rushed to hug you and another sob broke out of you.

you could barely talk and she was barely able to catch what you were saying. the repeated few sentences were “i hate feeling like this”, “he deserves so much better” and “i love him so much” and ochaco got the gist of what you meant. someone made you feel insecure about yourself and you thought you weren’t worthy of shoto. but who made you feel like this and when did it become so bad?

unbeknownst to the two of you, the bicoloured boy was standing outside the stall, watching the two of you. you clung onto ochaco so tightly you hadn’t realised that he was standing there but ochaco did and she motioned for him to switch places. shoto ducked down and kneeled infront of you and ochaco gently tucked you into his arms. the second you felt the familiar arms circling around your smaller frame, you looked down to see shoto looking at you with big eyes, grey and turquoise hues looking at you with the same fondness as always but this time it’s more intense with love and affection. both of his hands came up to cup your cheeks, thumbs wiping your tears just like before and this time you stayed.

you thought you looked ugly, you’re in the middle of your breakdown, there is snot, tears and mascara everywhere but to shoto, you looked just as beautiful as always. he slid his arms back to your hips and pulled you onto him so he can keep you closer, you buried your face into his chest while he hid in your hair, hands running up and down on your back, hoping to soothe you.

it did soothe you, after a few minutes you sobs quieted down and only the occasional sniffles were heard. one of his hand found your face again and made you look up to him so you two can finally talk about what is going on because he’s extremely worried for you. you took him in now that you calmed down, his eyes were teary and his hair looked messy, the uniform on him looked very unorganised as he also removed his tie and a few buttons were undone.

“sweetheart” he whispers to catch your attention and when you look at him he continues “what’s bothering you this badly?” his left hand feels cold against your face and it helps to ground you.

“you gonna think it’s stupid” you mumble look down and fiddling with your fingers.

“tell me” he’s lips hover over your neck and his breath tickles you. “i want to know, let me help you” he presses his lips against the skin like he always does when he’s trying to comfort you. you don’t think there is any point in hiding it from him, this can’t get any worse (unless he dumps you right here and now).

“you and momo” his kisses stop but he doesn’t move his head to look at you “you two seem to be so good and the chemistry between the two of you is amazing. “you stop when he starts to leave kisses again “and lately we’ve barely been able to hang out together because of all the projects we get and i know it’s not your fault. i guess i just got insecure because i find momo very pretty and more fitting with you than myself. “you mumble and he looks down at you, grey and turquoise now swim in bewilderment and you know you messed up but continue anyways “i know you wouldn’t do anything like that to me and i tried to push these thoughts away but i can’t and i understand if you think we should break up” you look down at your hands, still fiddling. there, you said it.

now hold up, you think he likes momo? you think momo is a better match for him than you? you think he finds her prettier than you? you think he wants to break up with you? he doesn’t want to leave you, in fact he knows he’ll marry you when the two of you are ready for marriage and grow old together. shoto is planning to formally introduce you as his girlfriend to his family since they only met you after the afo war and you two weren’t even together yet. shoto never thought about momo that way, not when he only ever wanted you.

“how can you think like that?” he suddenly asks, fingers lifting up your chin, his eyes serious “you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, when i wake up i can’t wait to your smile or see how your eyes shine when we hold hands. the way your hand fits into mine perfectly “he holds up your hand in his and watches as your fingers lace together “yours is so much smaller and cuter, just like you. i always want to protect you and be around you no matter what. you’re so gorgeous and since i’m with you, i never thought of any other girl the same way as i thought of you and you’re the first girl that i ever felt more towards to. “his words were messy, they weren’t in the usual collected manner like now “me and momo do spend a lot of time together but there is nothing going on i promise. if you want me to spend less time with her i will, just please don’t leave me” shoto’s voice is now pleading against your lips as he leaned down, kissing you softly and when you returned the kiss, his tongue slipped into your mouth while one of his hands found your thigh, the other one on the small of your back and your hands sneaked around his neck, both of you are trying to pull the other closer.

shoto left your lips and kissed down to your jaw and neck right at your sweet spot. he licks it before sucking on the skin, you let out a small whine, grinding against him with your hips making him groan and you pull on his hair. he groaned again against your neck, leaving to go back to your lips after giving the bruised spot a kiss. this time he kissed you with more passion, hands cupping your lower cheeks underneath your skirt, your hips moving slightly but in sync. before you two could take it any further you put your hands on his chest in an attempt to push him away from you but shoto leans back in and catches you in another make out session.

when you finally manage to get him to stop kissing you, you both pull away and take the other one in. both of your disheveled forms and plump lips, could give others a different idea of what actually happened.

“please next time talk to me, even if you think it’s stupid, but for me it’s never stupid if it’s you. you scared me so much when you ran away from me crying. “he thumbs your lips before reaching for your tie and pulls it over your head “i love you so much, if you’re hurt then so am i” he presses a kiss against your forehead as he fixes your uniform. “let’s get back to class, the others must be worried i’m sure” he softly smiles at you and helps you stand up, grabbing your blazer as well as he leads you out of the stalls.

you take a look into the mirror but quickly turn around when you see the mess you became. shoto only chuckles and opens the door and you just stand there dumbfounded. is he going to leave like that?

“momo can you make some make up remover and a brush?” oh my god, there were people standing outside?

“of course, is she okay? does she need anything else?” momo’s concerned voices reaches you and you feel like a monster for letting your bad thoughts get ahead of you and make her seem like a bad person.

“yeah she is, just give us a few more minutes” shoto walks back to you and turns you so he can see you better when he starts to wipe your face with a tissue, then with the make up remover, afterwards he brushes your hair too, all of this with so much care and you let out a giggle at his focused face. it makes him smile when he finally hears you giggling and gives you a soft peck on the lips. you take the brush from his hand and brush his hair and wipe his face too with a tissue. shoto’s uniform still looks messy but he doesn’t care as long as you’re here with him and you’re happy.

“i’m taking you out this weekend, somewhere just the two of us okay?” he leans down, presses his forehead against yours and looks into your eyes.

they are full of love.

“okay” you smile at him and he leans down to kiss you once more before the two of you leave the girls bathroom.

iida acted like a security guard the whole time.

you apologised to everyone for the inconvenience and mainly to momo for getting in your head so much about her, but she only patted your head and said that there is nothing to apologise for, she just want you to be happy. shoto remained by your side for the rest of the day and reassured you of his love for you.

(shoto took you to the country side that weekend, where the todoroki’s had a mansion away from everything. he also made sure you know he loves you in more than one way)

[grendel-menz]

your literally my favorite artist and it sucks to hear that you have to work so much just to survive. i hope one day you have more free time and can make money off just your art (if that's what you would want anyhow). second i got some extra money on my hands im spending all of it on buying prints and shit from ur store. in solidarity w/ you as a working class dyke hope if gets better sorry you've got privileged ppl in your tags romanticizing poverty.

It'll ease up a bit soon because I put in my two weeks at one of my jobs, but it's just tiring tiring atm. I'm excited for my paychecks though, I'm hoping to get enough to fix my car up since it's been having a lot of problems. I'm mostly upset because I keep falling behind on commissioned artwork and comic pitches/projects, which is what I actually want to pursue full time and not like... waitressing and cleaning and etc etc etc.

I'm lucky in life, blessed really, and I don't consider myself impoverished just super tight and paycheck to paycheck, but I want to write and draw and sleep and look at the sky and cook food omg. Also thank you :,). Right now I only have some digital comics out on gumroad but once I get some more time I want to make a real shop of tangible things.

[piratefalls]

i'm back! between work and trying to write my first fic for this fandom i've been falling really behind on reading, so for now these are going to be a more bi-weekly occurrence than weekly. in any event, there's truly a little bit here for everyone, so enjoy this week's mix of a+ works!

masterlist

you and me, babe, how about it? by @myheartalivewrites

Alex sits in the back of their Secret Service approved, PPO driven Land Rover, excitement thrumming through his body. The leather squeaks as he fidgets incessantly; his skin burns where Kieran’s shoulder is pressed into his, despite the layers of fabric between them. On the other side of Kieran, he can see Henry’s fingers twitch on top of his own knee, playing an imaginary piano, flicking out and squeezing in before releasing and starting again. Like he’s so fucking desperate to reach out and touch the leg next to his he’s having to muster up all of his self-control, draw on all the years of keeping himself restrained, just to not start things too soon. Alex can’t believe they’re actually, finally, doing this.

you know i can't be found with you by stutteringpeach

“He’s cute,” Alex declares on the first day of class. Liam doesn’t even bother to look up from his laptop. “Uh huh.” “The professor.” Liam makes a non-committal noise. “I’m gonna fuck him.”

Longer Than Most by happinessofthepursuit

“Oh,” Alex says. “Sick.” Henry can’t help but grin. He can’t believe he’s so bloody gone on a man who says sick and dude, who he’s slept with all of one time and proceeded to knock him up. Henry’s a cliche, honestly. “It is, indeed, sick, as you say.” Alex rolls his eyes, but his cheeks darken a shade, giving him away a bit. “Listen, the closest I get to poetry is your fucking face. Excuse me if my vocabulary doesn’t quite compare to yours.” Or, Alex and Henry have a one night stand. That is, until a baby’s involved.

Baby (Let Me Put On a Show) by SatinBirds

It’s been five months, and still Alex is never completely prepared for Henry’s performances. Private or otherwise. Or, Henry is a night dancer, and he’s everything Alex wants.

Sun Salutations (Waif for Me) by @duchessdepolignaca03

He repeats the movement five or six times, his body heating up with each repetition, loosening the hangovers’ grip on him through very effective breathwork. Wanting to open up his hips a little bit more, he settles into a wide-legged forward fold. He holds the pose, enjoying the delicious stretch on his lower back and virtually all the muscles of his lower body. Then he just about jumps out of his skin when he hears, “Mmm, breakfast is served.” Or: Alex parties hard on a Thursday night and has some deliciously anonymous sex with the glittery blond he calls Waif. When he wakes to do his naked sun salutations, he learns that Waif is a very, very hungry, 'temporarily unhoused' boy whom Alex quickly invites to live rent-free in his head.

secret, scars, and trust by viciouslyqueer

He trails off and Henry takes the opportunity to cup his cheek, gently swiping his thumb over the smooth skin. “Hey. We don’t have to do anything. We can stop right now if you want to, or cuddle for a while. I can put on a movie if you’d like. I don’t mind either way.” Alex’s smile grows and he leans into the touch, pecking Henry’s lips again. “Thanks, baby,” he murmurs, and Henry has to fight the urge to react at the pet name. “But it’s not that. I want to keep going, if you want it, too. I just have to tell you something before, okay?”

make it five by anincompletelist

“Fifty bucks says I can get that guy’s number.” Popping the bubble of cinnamon-flavored gum Alex had just blown, he glances up from his phone to look at where Nora’s pointing. Just over the soles of his shoes, crossed at the ankles and propped on the flaking black wood of the shop’s front desk, there’s a man with broad shoulders lingering by the far wall. Alex hadn’t even heard the guy come in. “Nora. He’s literally looking at one of the biggest dildos I’ve ever seen,” he deadpans quietly. + alex works at a sex toy shop. it's usually a pretty easy job — if he could just stop daydreaming about the blonde guy that keeps coming in to buy literally all of alex's favorite sex toys.

talk by smc_27

Henry records himself for an audio erotica app. Alex finds it. And listens.

Got a ticket for two by clottedcreamfudge

Henry likes his apartment - he has done since the day he moved in a year ago. The light in the sitting room is gorgeous at all times of day thanks to the ceiling to floor windows which lead out onto a south-facing balcony, only just large enough for the plethora of plantlife his flatmates care for. The kitchen is always stocked with his favourite tea, everyone keeps to their allotted cupboard and fridge space, and the bathrooms are kept meticulously clean. There's a rota for chores stuck to the fridge with magnets from Rhode Island and Minnesota, London and Milan, with everything typed up neatly so that nobody has to squint to read someone else's awful handwriting. His flatmates themselves? Well, they're a little… strange.

Far Away From the One That I Love by allmylovesatonce

It's been an agonizing two months of Henry being in London and Alex being in New York. When an opportunity to finally be reunited with Henry comes his way, Alex jumps on it. But things don't go quite how they expected after so much time away.

If We're Caught in a Wage (I Will Carry You Over) by @sparklepocalypse

There it is, up ahead – the small island just offshore, with Alex’s favorite broad, flat stone outcropping, perfect for sunning himself in seclusion. He splashes into the shallows and dives in when the water’s up to his knees, and it’s a matter of maybe a minute’s swim to reach the island. Alex finds his footing among the sand and pebbles, pulls himself upright, and shakes the water out of his hair, then pushes it back from his face. He can practically hear the outcropping calling to him -- you know, if inanimate rock could speak. Alex stretches, his mid-back satisfyingly popping, and then skirts his way between some larger rocks until his sunning rock is in view. Except – there’s someone already on the outcropping, their short blond hair shimmering in the sunshine, the upper slant of their shoulders visible from where Alex is standing. (Movie or Bookverse AU; Alex rents a remote beach house and Henry is a cecaelia.)

Protect Your Solitude by graceofgrayskull

At the 2016 Rio Olympics, Alex stumbles onto Prince Henry crying in a storage closet and is forced to rewrite his perception of their first meeting.

Out For A Bite by everwitch

Henry's eyes fly up, zeroing in on the reflection in the mirror. There, behind him. The man from the bar. He looks different in the fluorescent bathroom lights. Sharper. There’s a look in his eyes that has Henry shivering all over again. It's greedy. Hungry. He’s staring right at Henry. Henry's throat feels dry. His heart beats madly. He's heard whispers of this place, and more importantly of its patrons. He thinks he knows what this man is.

each time we touch / i wanna take too much by @firenati0n

my fingers slipped and now there are fingers in mouths. wrote this in one sitting at 5am today. please forgive any egregious errors, i wrote it without my glasses on and on no sleep lol. hope you like it. <3 title from New Girl by FINNEAS

you took the time to memorize me (my fears, my hopes, my dreams) by coffeecatsme

The tour guide has a small bisexual flag pinned to his chest, right next to where his name is scrawled in big, bold letters. Alex, it reads; simple, to the point. The name tag rests on a red and black flannel, and underneath is a white t-shirt with Georgetown’s name stretched on the front, reminding Henry ever so starkly that he’s thousands of miles away from what he calls home. The flannel stretches over broad shoulders leading up to a strong jaw, all in contrast with the bright, dimpled grin stretched over a beautiful face. Henry thinks there isn't a place on the world far enough away from his grandmother to escape her clutches - even after transferring to Georgetown. Then, his tour guide extends a helping hand and shows him otherwise. Or, 5 steps Alex and Henry take to memorize each other and 1 time they realize they already do.

Praise & Supplication by NoCoastPosts

Alex is always moving, always going, always seeking. He is defiance and brashness tinged with anxiety, but not in these moments. Henry pins him down with a gaze as heavy as his touch, and all of Alex’s motions cease. He is calm, he is obedient, he is pliable. He knows he’ll be broken apart piece by piece, sending waves of heat deep into his core. or When Alex gets stuck in his head, Henry helps him let go.

Another Door Opens by 14carrotgold

Henry takes a long drink. “If it makes you feel any better, my dad's dead. He and my mum had the type of love straight from the storybooks and it got cut tragically short, so what is the point in finding something real if it's just going to hurt you?” Alex bites back a smile and shakes his head. “How in the fuck was that supposed to make me feel better?” He waves his hand awkwardly. “Oh, I just thought we were both sharing the trauma that impacted our romantic relationships.” - Henry and Alex first meet when Henry reveals their partners are cheating on them with each other.

Fifteen Hours Till Forever by inexplicablymine

“I would say that in this life, we aren’t granted many chances at true happiness, at the unadulterated freedom and joy that comes to the lucky ones. I would say that I know right now only fifteen feet apart, fifteen hours till forever, and somehow the universe has decided I ought to be one of the luckiest there are.” “But tomorrow,” he continues, “when we are saying our vows, when we are promising ourselves to one another forever, I want you to look me in the eyes and know that you are it for me.”  OR The year is 2025, and the world doesn't know they are getting married. 

home by rizcriz

For a moment he fears Henry’s been outed against his will somehow, but he scrolls down to find a video clip. Unable to trust himself to watch the video, he scrolls a little further to read the transcript. He learns that Henry had come out during a ribbon cutting, of all things. He’d stood in front of a crowd of a couple hundred people gathered for the opening of a new youth shelter, and he’d told his truth. Alex is tempted to watch the video, to examine his body language to see if it was planned or not, but he reads further and one sentence stands out to tell him it wasn’t. There is no comment yet from Buckingham Palace. -- or, six months after Henry rejected Alex at Kensington Palace.

The Way of Things by writerkenna

Henry and Alex have been very much enjoying the life they’ve managed to carve out for themselves. They’ve had to compromise and work and change to maintain it, but it’s worth it. Henry finds himself pregnant, though, and everything they’ve built starts to turn on its head. as always, let me know if you want to be tagged either because you're a writer or a reader (or both!) and i'll see you next time!

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person by lizzie_bennetdarcy

Alex plans to be a lot of firsts in the world. But this absolutely isn't the kind of first he was thinking. He stares wide-eyed into the mirror at the letters on his shoulder while June whines to be let in. Alex finally unlocks the door and June bursts through. “Show me!” Wordlessly, Alex turns to show her his back. "What the actual fuck?" June exclaims, then claps a hand over her mouth. "Sorry, that was rude, but — is it more than one person?" Or: Five times Alex doesn't find his soulmate, and one time he does

tagging: @starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp @sarahjswift omg i feel like i'm missing someone

[tmzrkstan]

nct dream as teen romances.

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

★warnings: maybe cursing, relationship between minors (legal).

★genre: fluff, romantic tropes, (kinda of) korean school trope.

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

★Mark:

•Not just a boyfriend, also a bandmate;

•Beeing raised abroad gave him an advantage to join the band (english speaker), and of course, his ability with music;

•You and your friends found everything that were looking for to complete what became a kinda famous band in the city;

•Don't took long for you two get along and spend some afternoons with his guitar and a composition book: "You did in a few days what the music did in my whole life."

•When the relantionship became official you just couldn't separate from each other;

•The lovely looks during performances, dates in karaokes and make out sessions at the "backstage" were always present;

•"We can't be sure about the band future, but I know we're never splitting up."

★Renjun:

• The boy admired you for a long time from afar;

•When he heard from a friend that you were looking for a boyfriend he gained courage;

•He had to miss some afternoons and even morning classes in order to finish a project to win you over;

•That's why you found a drawing of you made by hand, which was noticeable the use of watercolor, and behind it, his initials;

•You soon realized who it was from and decided to text him, which led to a sleepless night with your cell phone;

•Without taking too long to return the feelings, you started dating and he nicknamed you as his "muse";

•You can be sure that your dates would always end with you taking a drawing home, whether on a small canvas or on a napkin from the restaurant you went to;

•"The best part of drawing you is being able to look at you as much as I want."

★Jeno:

•If it wasn't for the jock who falls in love with the cheerleader, I'd be lying;

•Despite his popularity, he had to struggle to get the attention of everyone on the team, which led to him crashing several rehearsals;

•He made his interest obvious when he scored a decisive point in the game and dedicate it to you in front of the whole school;

•The minute I became his girlfriend, the whole school would suffer because of you two, like the team being forced to participate in his surprises, the game being stopped for you to kiss each other at each point;

•Despite the masculine and strong exterior, inside he looked like a puppy running after his owner, he was completely passionate and silly. It's visible how he would try to help you with the cheerleading thing;

•"So, the deal is if I win the game tonight, I got a make out session for as long as I want?"

★Haechan:

•At first, no one could tell if you were friends or not;

•You competed with everything you could for years now, Hyuck knew how to make you lose and made a point of winning every time, whether in a test, sports or any activity;

•One day you got tired of it all, making it clear to him that you didn't care about it anymore, and that sent him into a fit;

•His friends consoled him that this was his final victory, but he knew well that he wanted to win you instead. Pride made him say nothing 'till the moment;

•He chased you for days and you just ran, until you had no choice when he pinned you to the wall of an empty hallway: "You really are very stupid for not understanding what I wanted all of this time";

•Sure had a lot more drama until yall finally bring fellings out and started dating, a relationship full of silly little fights and a lot of teasing on both sides, this time with some kisses, caresses and loving words in between;

•"I admit you won, look who you made fall in love with you."

★Jaemin:

•You had your reasons and he had an (toxic) ex he wanted to win back, a little gossip going around and you ended up in a fake relationship;

•The plan was doing great, everyone was getting what they wanted, or at least what you thought that you wanted;

•After weeks of "fake" dates, talking about your lives, sharing secrets and dreams, Jaemin couldn't care less when his ex showed up at his house: "Sorry, but There's no way, I'm completely in love with her."

•When he realized this, appeared the other day at school with a huge bouquet and an even bigger smile stating that dating would no longer be fake;

•You thought he could take it back later, but the kisses and declarations of love he gave you made it clear how right he was about It;

•"In the very first minute of our deal, my feelings already became real, it would be impossible not to."

★Chenle:

•It's not like anyone was really forbidding it, like arresting you at home or hiring a security guard to follow you around, but your parents made it clear that they were against it;

•His family, more modest, did not agree with the luxurious way that Chenle lived with his, who preferred that his son was with someone more similar;

•They imagined that this was going to happen, that's why they even took a while to start dating, but when they got together, there was nothing he wouldn't do for you;

•The boy was used to always getting what he wanted, and this time it would be no different, he would just have to change his strategy, like going on hidden dates, finding empty places at school and running away at midnight, it made everything harder, but more exciting;

•"You can't give up on us, it's hard right now, but I promisse I'll make it worth it."

★Jisung:

•You two been friends since the first day you can remember;

•Always inseparable, if one wasn't welcome in a group of friends then the other wouldn't even consider staying in it;

•They faced everything together, all the first experiences, like tests, graduations, parties, simply everything. Even first love, which Jisung took a long time to realize when feelings changed;

•He freaked out every time he saw some guy trying to hit on you, or when you seemed interested in another one, but he didn't want to confess and look like a silly teen that ruins the friendship;

•You're the one who had to admit you liked him first, or you'd never start dating. And everyone, including the families, loved it.

•It doesn't changed much in reality, apart from the kissing/toching and your parents no longer letting you stay alone in your bedroom for so long.

•"I can't wait to spend my whole with my best friend."

•----------••----------••----------••----------••-------•

author: Hope yall like It<3

[starwarsmum]

Chapter 5 of Introducing: Mousinette!

The next time Damian saw Marinette, Grayson and Gordon had dragged him to a tour of his new campus. It had been a fairly uneventful morning, Grayson had felt it necessary to show him around the university, as though he hadn't visited already.

“You did not mention that you were planning to attend Gotham University,” he said, attempting small talk. He felt the discomfort cloak him like a second skin, his arms stiff, jaw locked. When she gave only a noncommittal noise, he tried again. “What course are you planning on studying?”

“I'm sorry, did I land in an alternate universe?” Marinette said, shooting an incredulous look his way. “Because I seem to remember you being kind of an asshole at dinner the other night.”

“Tt, I said you were behaving like a child, which you were,” Damian responded. If he was a cat, his hackles would be raised and he would be yowling, low in his throat. He watched Marinette bristle, pleased, for some reason, that he was able to rile her so quickly. “If you do not wish to be perceived as a child, perhaps you should act your age more than your height.”

“And perhaps you should act more your age than a pompous, stuck up-” she was cut off by Gordon approaching, chatting with Grayson as he pushed her along. He watched her visibly take a deep breath and push down whatever she had been about to say, before looking at him flatly. “I'm planning on studying business,” she said in a monotone. 

That surprised him, but he was spared from responding by Gordon and Grayson beginning a more animated conversation about the dorms. He watched her giggle effortlessly, charming them both as they approached the business school section of the university. 

“Dames, have you seen the dorms? They're so cool, are you sure you don't want to stay here instead of the manor?” Damian gave Grayson a look of incredulity, before turning away with a derisive snort. “What? It's not like you'd be alone, Marinette's planning on staying in the dorms!”

“Dick, please don't try to convince him to stay in the dorms,” Marinette pleaded, shooting Damian a sceptical look. “Besides, I'm pretty sure Mr Rich Boy couldn't handle one week in the dorms. He strikes me as the hapless sort - has he ever even made a meal?”

“Tt, as if it is difficult. Regardless, the idea of residing in these dormitories sounds a specific sort of torture and I shall not be subjecting myself to it.” He refused to be baited by the little witch - he had no need to learn to cook, and she would not taunt him into proving her wrong. 

Marinette gave him a fierce glare but allowed him to have the last word, which made him unreasonably annoyed. He was even more annoyed when she started to ignore him, just as she had that night at the manor. It changed when Jagged Stone arrived with Penny Rolling and they managed to abscond with Grayson and Gordon.

Things continued in a strained way, Marinette shutting down any attempt at conversation, often walking away from him to view the different departments on display for the day. Eventually, he allowed himself to trail along behind her, keeping a slight distance but close enough that the others could find them both easily.

She had vanished around a corner when he let the gap grow slightly, and he sighed, annoyed. He became slightly concerned when he didn't immediately spy her, but huffed in annoyance once more when he saw her flirting with another attendee. He had blond hair, an athletic build and was only a couple of inches taller than her. He decided to approach, if only so he could taunt her with it later.

“...just hope you aren't in any of my classes in the fall, I'd never get any work done,” the boy was saying. Damian rolled his eyes, slowing slightly so as not to draw attention to himself. “But maybe we'll end up in the same dorm and we could-”

“Thank you for the compliment, but I'm afraid I am not interested, Monsieur,” came Marinette's reply, which made Damian pause. He glanced at her face and she still had a smile in place, but perhaps he had mistaken annoyance for attraction. “Please can you move so I may get back to my friends.”

“Ooh, French, that's hot,” came the smarmy reply, plainly not listening to her. “I bet you could teach me a thing or two about kissing.”

“Look, I have tried to say no politely, but you don't seem to be getting it,” Marinette said flatly, putting a hand on his shoulder to push him out of the way. Damian watched, fascinated by the shift in her demeanor. “And the only kissing I would be willing to teach you, is to kiss the asphalt.” and she pushed his shoulder, hard enough that he took a step back. Which is when he reached out and grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop.

“What the hell, bitch? Think you're too good for an American, huh? Or maybe you don't know how to be polite when someone is being nice to you,” he said, pulling her back sharply and making her yelp. Damian didn't hesitate, taking hold of the other boys forearm. “And who the hell do you think you are?”

“I think I am one of her companions today, and that you need to learn what ‘no’ means. Both the word and contextual cues, as she gave you both and you ignored them. Let go of her, before I force you to,” Damian said haughtily, releasing his grip when Marinette was free. He watched the other boy beat a hasty retreat before turning back to her.

“I had that handled,” she said immediately, narrowing her eyes at him. “I did not need you swooping in, like a bat and sticking your nose in. And I don't appreciate you laughing at me,” she scowled when he lifted an amused eyebrow at her accidental joke.

He watched her stalk away, impressed in spite of himself. She probably could have taken care of it herself, and he wouldn't normally have stepped in, except that she had been grabbed, and made an involuntary noise, so he had moved. Spotting Grayson and Gordon, he started after her, vowing not to get involved unless she asked for help in future.

The rest of the day passed relatively uneventfully, although Damian found his gaze drawn more and more to the fiery Parisian. She had seemed empty-headed and childish when he met her, but he was being forced to reconsider his evaluation of her the more he knew her.

He found himself hoping that she would be attending the university later that year, if only so he could add more to the growing list of idiosyncrasies he had made note of about her.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 4 thoughts

i thought this episode sounded interesting! the plot was kinda: wasn't it fucked up when the vietnam war happened? and i was sitting here like, yeah, quite famously it was pretty fucked up. still, an interesting exploration into trauma and the american role of imperialism

the first thing i wrote was "a lot of people in this show fall asleep watching the tv but personally i have never done that". am i immune to the Curse or something?

so this guy who is a sleep doctor sees a fire and he calls the fire department right away, and everyone is evacuating, and we see a dude in the hallway with a suspicious smile and an even more suspicious scar across his neck. i am used to the episode structure by now, so i knew this was our mystery man of the week.

but the firemen get to the burning fellow's house and there is no fire! despite it looking so real to him that he actually burned to death... it's not there! well huh! must be our mystery man can psychically project fire

cutscene to mulder's place and it again looks like an entirely new set for his apartment. again, i ask, i'm not crazy, right?? can someone else confirm that this is an entirely different space than what we saw before?

(i hope we don't see scully in a new space as well- i thought her apartment was so cute in s1)

he gets a newspaper and a tape of the call dropped off at his door so he runs to skinner and begs with his big sad wet eyes to please let him take the case. and skinner is like maybe. but go transcribe a bunch of wiretaps first. so THAT is why he's always listening to weird stuff!

BUT WAIT! who enters our fair scene...? but a NEW CHARACTER? he is a guy who looks like he crawled out of a frat house where he majored in lacrosse and business... he introduces himself as alex and says that this is HIS case... mulder is PISSED he's all "i work alone >:(" but he can't shake the dude off... hmm.

(i recall seeing a post about people slash shipping mulder with a character in s2- i saw this post way before i started watching the show, so i only noted it in my passing interest of fandom history- and i'm wondering if this is the fellow they were referring to. in the same post i saw mulder in a speedo which i guess we'll get to in time)

scully's back at the academy!!! teaching another autopsy class! boy they must have a steady stream of bodies coming in for this. but an urgent call is coming from a "george hale" and she leaves class to go answer...

and it's mulder!!!!! he has a code name!!! he asks her to fly up to new york and do an autopsy and she's like "i'm in class til 4:30" and he's like "that's fine, we'll wrap it up for you and you can come up at 5!" and she sighs and. agrees.

now. again. this was shocking to me. mulder cannot have anyone else draw his blood or do an autopsy it HAS to be his friend scully. and she WILL get on a flight and do it. this is SICK and TWISTED how she will do anything for him.

mulder was being a real jerk to alex and alex said "i don't appreciate being ditched like a bad date" and to my shock and dismay i found myself agreeing with this new character... mulder WAS being unreasonable... i mean we knew he's been moody lately but this was downright hostile

(mulder walks in while scully puts an organ into a scale) "spleen or pancreas?" "stomach" <- LMAO his ass did NOT pass anatomy!

and they're all so smiley and happy to see each other when. scully sees this man behind him. and her smile fades SO fast.

(he tries to shake her hand but given that her hands are covered in stomach she wisely brushes him by. it may have seemed like a diss but i assume he doesn't want gore on his hands)

alex is GAGGING over the body (me too) so mulder gets realllllll close to scully to block out his amateur hour buffoonery...

(y'all need to not be that close and looking at each other in such a manner in front of a dead guy... or do it more for my sake)

she's whispering that it seems his body believed he burned to death despite there being no burns on him!

we see another guy with a same scar on his neck as the first!!! he knows the first guy and it seems initially that their reunion is wholesome... until preacher (scar man one) admits to killing the sleep doctor... and then things get... wild

"holy fuck", i mumbled to myself while also writing down the same phrase in my notes, as a blood soaked family appeared in the room, shooting the character we just met for his crimes. that escalated with an extreme quickness. it was clear that whatever traumas he had inflicted upon others in vietnam were being returned in equal measure via the psychic force of this preacher character

then we go back to mulder and alex, who i thought was handling mulder's hater energy quite well, all things considered. but little did i know what was to come...

so sleep doctor, the guy who just died, and preacher all knew each other... interesting... they were stationed at basic training together...

we get a visual on mulder's new source after deep throat's passing! he says he has no desire to be there, and that their mutual friend deep throat died for what he believed in, which he does not want to do. which is of course totally fair. at the end of the day the FBI is just a paycheck for some of these folks.

the sleep doctor was revealed to be doing experiments to make super advanced soldiers who don't need sleep so maybe that gives you the power to kill people magically. we can't really rule it out.

preacher then makes two cops kill EACH OTHER with his sorcery

back to scully cam <3 she's got her glasses on at the computer <3 she's got little yellow earrings in that look like flowers <3 and she thinks its so cool that they cut part of this guy's brain out and now he hasn't slept in 24 years... nerd

they're on the phone with each other and it is SO SAD because why. why can't they just be together! it's not fair. she says it sounds like his new partner is working out and he's like yeah he's okay...

"must be nice to not have someone poking holes in all your theories" "yeah, no idea how i put up with you for so long" and they're smiling into the phone while saying this

now, i won't lie. this scene, of all the scenes, was the first to bring tears to my eyes in the course of my streaming this show. because now we have seen what they'll do for each other and they're TAUNTING me by dangling it in front of my face. and i cannot stand it. i feel sick at the thought.

anyway back to mulder and his new partner. who i feel is too good to be true because he's willing to believe spooky mulder's theories. but they found another guy who also had the sleep surgery and he tells them that they went on a rampage committing atrocities in vietnam which was. very heavy for the alien show. but it is something that americans often pretend just didn't happen so i thought it was interesting that the idea of accountability was being explored in fiction.

so there's one more guy involved with the sleep surgery, and he's coming into town, so alex and mulder have to sprint down to the station and try and find him. they're really giving it a sprint, too. mulder is a track star. don't think i've forgotten

and mulder does see the guy they're looking for but preacher is behind him and shoots mulder! he falls to the ground! no, i yelled to my screen! not another bullet in mulder!

... but he gets up. the whole thing was a trick of preacher! it never actually happened!

alex is like dude wtf. and this is where he says "i want to believe" and this where i made the very astute note "i don't trust this guy, sorry"

so finally they find preacher still alive, and mulder tells alex to help out his victim, while mulder runs off to find him. mulder sees how much pain he is in, and tells him that maybe his pain can lessen if he testifies about what was done to him, and it seems they've come to an understanding...

until alex enters, pulls his gun up, so preacher also pulls his gun up, and alex and shoots him! preacher is dead

mulder looks deeply upset by this. he tells alex that he did the right thing, but you can tell he doesn't believe it in the slightest. i would venture to guess that this is when all the trust he had begun to place in alex vanishes. he seems entirely deflated at the unnecessary loss of life.

he goes back to the car and notices someone stole the secret files that his informant gave him, and he punches the car. this is simply too many L's for one day, and i sympathize.

but scully's freaking out too, because her office was broken into and all her stuff looked through! so what in the name of hell is going on here?!?!? ah, i realize, it is this alex fool... "i know ur related somehow" i wrote ominously in my quotes

and boy, i was right! the narrative the writers were going for was not lost on me! because remember skinner's old sidekick the cigarette guy? and how they had a sort of breakup moment? well, alex is reporting to him, and they have the file he stole from mulder!!!!!

alex says that scully is a "big problem" to which i say: keep talking like that, you overgrown varsity jock, and you're gonna have a big problem with my fucking hands catching your throat

anyway, interesting episode. i didn't want to like alex and then i did because i felt bad for him for being subjected to mulder's attitude and then i hated his guts by the end and reluctantly admitted to myself that mulder's crankiness was justified. i hope he won't stick around for long but i have a feeling he will.

also, they need to stop taunting me by dangling a real mulder and scully reunion in front of my head and then ripping it away. i had TEARS! in my eyeballs! i was sighing wistfully! it was sick!!!!!! this is my free time i'm spending here pining after these fools! it's me, the fan, asking for fan service!!!

[ghostgorlsworld]

Johnny Boy (part 4)

Werewolf! Johnny x reader

part one is here

Once upon a time, you would've done anything for John Mctavish. He had been your older brother's cool best friend, and you were always desperate for him to see you as more--until one fateful night that ends up with you pregnant and him...gone. Fast forward six years and you've made a good life for yourself with your daughter Emma, with Johnny none the wiser. Until he decides to knock on your door.

Part 4

Chapter 4

 Charlie hung around you at work, keeping you company while you shared the load of reshelving books. Usually, it was the intern’s job but the holidays had left you short-staffed.

He was funny in a bashful way, blushing whenever he made you laugh. It was nice to see that you were still desirable sometimes, that men didn’t repel away from you just because you were a single mother.

“So, what are your plans tonight?” He asked, straightening up a section of R.L Stine books. “I’m supposed to have supper with my gran, she made me promise to bring chinese.”

“Emma’s father is in for a bit,” you said casually. “He’s coming to the house to see her.” He was going to find out eventually, might as well get it out of the way before your date later this week. Charlie paused mid-shelf, raising a brow. “I thought he was out of the picture.”

“He was supposed to be,” you sighed. “Tom brought him back, and I couldn’t keep it from him anymore.” Charlie knew your story, he spent two years weaseling it out of you while you were just coworkers. You knew he had a little crush on you, but you hadn’t expected him to actually ask you out until, well, he did.

“That’s shitty,” Charlie said, frowning. “So, what is he threatening legal action?” Johnny probably would, to get to Emma. But you shook your head, “No, I just couldn’t bring myself to keep him away. She had already seen him and smelled him and was asking questions–I figured it was time.” “I see,” Charlie said, even-tempered as always. “Is he good with her?” You shrugged. “I suppose. I mean he’ll probably see her a few weeks out of the year, so I don’t know if it matters much if I allow him around her. I just don’t want her to resent me when she’s older.” “It sounds like you’re being very fair,” he responded. “I don’t know if I would’ve reacted half as well if an ex girlfriend showed up wanting to see our kid.” This was why you liked Charlie, he was so, so reasonable. He was older than you by a handful of years, in his thirties with a bachelor pad apartment and an obsession with historical fiction. The only downside about him was the fact he played rugby on his off days and his team was…sleezy, at best. They were all thirty-somethings that spent more time at the bar than the field. 

“Thank you,” you said, smiling. “I feel like dousing him in gasoline and tossing the match, but I think I’m hiding it quite well, aren’t I?” Charlie laughed, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “Very well, I think.”

On your way home, you stopped at the store for a pint of Emma’s favorite ice cream, strawberries and cream, and a pint of fudge brownie for yourself. You would eat it when Emma goes to bed and Johnny leaves, so you could fall asleep on the couch like a loser with your ice cream and Bridget Jones’s Diary on the telly.

Johnny was waiting at your house already, pacing like a caged dog. He looked up while you approached with Emma in hand, his eyes reflecting eerily off the street lights. 

He calmed when he looked at the two of you, the jitteriness smoothing away in an instant as he smiled. Emma let go of your hand to reach him first, digging through her backpack to show off the A+ drawing she had gotten in art class.

You frowned and moved closer–she hadn’t shown you earlier.

“Me and Mum,” she said, gesturing to your vague figure wielding what looked to be a baseball bat, Emma standing behind you looking scared. “That time when she hit that scary man really, really hard.”

The bottom of your stomach dropped out, your hands breaking out in a cold sweat at just the mention of that horrible night. You winced when Johnny looked at you questioningly, his posture straightening as if to intimidate.“Emma, hon, that doesn’t look like a good memory to me,” you said, shaking your head at him. Please don’t ask.

“I like it,” she said, tracing your stick figure’s stern features. “You haven’t got any teeth or claws but it didn’t matter.”

“Your mum never let little things like that bother ‘er,” Johnny said, bemused. “She used to brawl with her brother like a grown man.” Emma smiled. “She still does.”

“Okay, Emma,” you interjected, cocking a brow at her. “The ice cream is melting, time to go inside.” She nodded, disappearing into her room to shuck her school clothes and dig the clips out of her hair. Johnny caught your arm as you took the pints out of the paper sack. “Whassat she’s talking ‘bout, kitty?” “Oh, it’s…I don’t like to relive it, John.” “C’mon, hen, it sounded pretty fuckin’ important.” You sighed. “She got away from me at a grocery store last year, just bolted when I tried to catch her. I chased her around the store until I heard...well, I heard a scream.” Johnny’s hand tightened around your arm, almost to the point of bruising. 

“A man had cornered her in the parking lot. He was one of those wolf catchers, I think, the ones that take them and put them in those fighting cages.” You placed the ice cream in the freezer, your eyes clouded over with the memory. “I dunno what happened, I just…I saw red. There was a pipe on the dumpster and I grabbed it and swung and swung until there wasn’t much left.”

You remembered the feeling of blood on your hands, your daughter crawling into your arms to lick the tears off your face, trying to comfort, to bring you back to earth.

Johnny gripped your shoulders so he could look into your eyes, tilting your chin up with one of his calloused fingers. “You killed ‘im?” You nodded. “The police…they already had warrants out for his arrest and there was a video documenting everything. I got off scot-free but Emma…Emma saw the whole thing. I still can’t forgive myself for it.” “The fucker deserved it, love, trust me. You kept our daughter safe without teeth or claws.” Johnny brought you in for a hug for the first time in six years, his chest warm and broad and comforting. “And Emma will be fine, lass, I promise. She’s not like a human bairn–in her mind, you proved your strength as a mother, that you would do anythin’ for ‘er.”

Is that how they really thought? You relaxed in his hold without thinking, his shirt smelling like sweat and cologne and the unmistakable musk of a wolf. “I don’t even remember it, really. Apparently he got a few hits in before…but I never felt it–at least not until the hospital afterwards.”

Johnny gripped you tighter, his arms crushing your shoulders into his chest. “I’m sorry, kitty.”

“For what?” You asked dizzily, captivated by his warmth and smell. It was like he was putting off some kind of hormones, drawing you in closer. 

“Fer not bein’ here. You’ve done it all alone.” His hand came to caress your face, thumb snagging on your lower lip. “You won’t be alone again, kitty.” That made you pause. You stiffened in his hold, stepping away. God, he was still so dangerous for you. You were pathetic, this was pathetic, he didn’t want you–he wanted Emma. He never would have come back for you.

“Sorry, John,” you said, forcing a smile. “Got a wee bit emotional there.” But Johnny didn’t say a word. Just looked at you with his too-bright blue eyes and nodded, his jaw clenched with tension. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to be…touching. Especially in front of Emma. The girls at school are already giving her the wrong ideas about you and I.” You leaned your hip against the counter, trying to be casual. “I don’t want to confuse her.” You tensed, preparing for a classic Johnny display of the short temper he used to have. 

Instead, Johnny smiled understandingly. “Of course, kitty, I’ll do what you need me to.” He really was a different man. Perhaps all the war and killing really was good for his temperament.

You smiled at him, this one genuine. “Okay. I think I’m going to order in, how does Chinese sound?”

Johnny sat on your couch, eating beef Lo mein with your daughter on his lap. He seemed perfectly content, sharing his food with her and answering her ceaseless questions about explosives–Emma had found out that was what he specialized in. 

A Christmas movie was on the telly, one of your favorites, and it was nice to be able to eat a meal without Emma snuggling into your hip and picking the meat out of your noodles. 

Your earlier conversation with Johnny had lightened your mood, so you left them to the couch, curling up on the loveseat instead. You had been too distracted to eat at lunch so you got to work on your takeout, only feeling a brief bit of weirdness that Johnny had absolutely insisted on paying for the food.

Your phone rang from the countertop you had left it on. You sighed, setting aside your fried rice to answer it.

It was Charlie. A part of you warmed–you needed a distraction from Johnny. 

You slipped into your bedroom, leaving the door cracked so you could still keep an eye on Emma. “Hey, Charlie,” you said, cupping the phone to your ear.

“Hey, honey, sorry for calling so late,” Charlie said, the soft noises of an elderly woman speaking in the background. “I was just thinking about you and thought I would see what you’re up to.”

“Takeout and Home Alone,” You said, sitting back against your bed. It was small and only really had room for you–which was a deterrent against men who ever wanted to stay the night. “How is Gran?” “She’s fantastic, she’s eating pizza and watching Doctor Who on the telly, it’s our perfect night in.” You laughed, enjoying the thought of a man who would routinely eat dinner with his grandmother two nights a week. “That sounds nice.” “It is. What’s the bear up to?”

Emma and Charlie got along quite well, he was good with kids and Emma referred to him as “the book man.” “John is over spending time with her, I’ve left them to it.” “Ah, that’s right, I had forgotten. Do you need to go?” “No, no, they’ll be fine for a bit. I needed a break anyway.” You chatted to Charlie for a few minutes further before you returned to the living room, getting back to your fried rice without looking once at Johnny. 

“Who was that, Mum?” Emma the Nose asked, eyeing your shrimp in a way that had you rolling your eyes.

“Charlie,” you said. “From work.” You refused to blush, knowing that Emma liked to tease, much like her father. “A coworker?” Johnny rumbled, his eyes half-lidded and lazy. “Didn’t sound like it.” You leveled a look at him, a look that clearly said none of your fucking business. 

Johnny’s mouth quirked, though there was no humor in his eyes. “Sounds like a nice chap,” he said dryly, turning back to the telly.