#i wanted to write to so many other people but i didnt know i'd write this much for each person so the ppost is rly just too!! long!!
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cy-cyborg · 4 months ago
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So, there's a lot I want to say about the paralypics, but every time I try I just... can't articulate what I want to say without it turning into a monster of a post that puts my writing advice posts to shame lol. This includes in response to the anonymous asks I got on the topic btw. So I'm going to try and summarise my thoughts here.
As someone who was working towards the Rio paralympics - who was basically one of the people they were actively training to be the next paralympians and who got to go if their choice first athletes had to drop out, the Olympics and paralympics are a... touchy subject for me. I loved playing. I loved my sport. I loved the people I played with. I loved the people I played against. But the way the public and people in power treats disabled athletes sucks. It Really really sucks. and it hurts to talk about.
The vast, vast majority of us aren't paid. We are expected to train at the same intensity as the Olympians with none of the breaks and none of the support to do so, resulting in injuries that are disabling in and of themselves, while juggling normal jobs. many of the paralympians are also in school or at university as well. both schools and jobs see these elite athletes as dedicated hobbiests at best.
I had a friend who were fired from their job because they were denied time off to compete at the paralypics and well, if i had to choose between the paralympics or stay at a shit job paying minimum wage, I know which one I'd pick, and so she didnt have a job when she came back. I have friends who are still in the closet because their sponsors would drop them if they came out as gay, who ended years-long relationships to keep the funding that allowed them and their teams to compete - funding that just covered the costs of travel by the way. They never saw a cent of it themselves, but it was the difference between us having to pay $50 each for our plane tickets and accommodation and having to pay $2,000Aud + for every away game. I have friends who were supposed to go to Tokeyo but were kicked off the teams weeks before the games because of a rule change that decided they weren't disabled enough anymore, wasting years of work with absolutely no warning. They weren't even given the decency of an appology from the people who made the call. Several went through terrifying mental health spirals over it. It was their life's work, gone. I saw so many friends just give up because their disabilities were "too hard to classify" into the International Paralympic Commity's boxes and who were made to feel they weren't welcome by the system spouting off about its diversity and inclusion and empowerment of disabled people.
And then with all that, the best we can hope for is for the social media teams to turn us into a joke for ableds to laugh at or into inspiration porn to make them feel good about themselves - because at least theyre not us. Because obviously, there are no other options in how to show us/sarcasm.
My phone doesn't even have "paralympics" as a recognised word. I have a Samsung. The company that is currently at the paralympics using them as a marketing opertunity. We aren't even recognised as a word in the phones made by the company that is currently using the paralympics as a marketing opportunity. The phones they're giving the athletes won't even recognise the name of the event that they got it at. If I've spelt it wrong, it's because it autocorrects it every time I try to spell it right, and im dyslexic and can't see the difference until I stare at it for a minute or so.
I just... this isn't even scratching the surface of my thoughts. But I wanted to say at least some of it. It will be the last I'm going to talk about it, at least until the event is over.
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mydarlingem · 7 months ago
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ever since we met
guys we are SO BACK i bring gifts <3 didnt realize how much i would miss writing on here. currently working on rewriting old work and new stuff so i can get back to posting on a weekly basis. hope you have been well and enjoy!!
cw. sakusa kiyoomi eats pussy, what more could you need
wc. 1800
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you met sakusa kiyoomi two years ago when he took over his father’s business. every monday and saturday at 4 pm, he knocked on the back door of your flower shop. big boxes filled with one the best flowers for you. it was also two years ago when you first opened the door for him that you realized you loved him. he was so sweet and kind, always taking time to ask about you and following up on events in your life. you figured he did this with everyone on his route. little did you know that your sweet kiyoomi did not ask questions about any of his other deliveries.
he was determined to get to know you, however long it took him. he knew the movies you saw, the terrible dates you went on, your favorite flowers and your least favorite customers. no detail was too small for him, because he did care about it all. he liked your passion for your work and your love for the people around you. ever since he knocked on that door monday at 4 pm two years ago he has loved you. he knows it crazy, and he can't rationalize it for the life of him but he knows it's the truth. he knows you probably don't reciprocate but god he can't help it.
“hey kiyoomi what did you bring for me today?” you say with a smiled as you prop open the door for him. the way you say his name makes him weak in the knees, he loves how comfortable you are around him. “besides my beautiful face, everything you had on your list and an extra case of snapdragons because i know you always run out by thursday.” he smiles at you and sets down the boxes. “you really are the best thank you” you say as you walk back over to the counter to continue cleaning roses. “how are you today my favorite florist?” he asks as he sets down the last three boxes in their designated spot. “busy and understaffed” you sigh. “glad to know things always stay the same around here” he smiles and hands you a clipboard for a signature.
he likes the way you sign your name, he can't explain it but it suits you. “you know you are the last delivery of the day, so is there anything i can do to help out?” he takes the clipboard back from you as you hold back from speaking for a moment. “i have so much to do are you sure?” you ask hoping it's not just pity. “i'm here for whatever you need” he says as he takes his hoodie off and sets his things down. you never realized how many tattoos he has, or how big his biceps were. maybe him staying was good for morale. “would mind cleaning some mums for me?” he nods and steps to the counter to start.
its quiet for a little, the silence isn't awkward though. you look over at him, he's so efficient. his hands are so perfect, how is he so perfect? his voice snaps you out of your trance. “how was that date you had last week?” he asks, not looking up from the flowers in his hands. “lets just say i won’t be seeing him again” you exhale softly, mentally pleading that the very attractive man across from you will not ask you to embarrass yourself further. kiyoomi laughs softly before speaking again, “i can't believe we have never hung out outside of work” he says as he continues to clean flowers. his heart was racing at this point, you made him so nervous he was hoping you couldn’t tell.
“i know it's so crazy! we have to do something soon” you say with a smile. “well what are you doing this weekend? there’s a new bar i want to check out and i’d love to take you.” “if i didn't know any better i would think you were asking me out on a date kiyoomi” you smile before looking up at him and making eye contact with him. “and what if i am?” he says still smiling, your cheeks were so hot, was he messing with you? “well i'd think you were joking” you say trying to control the tone of your voice. he sets his flowers down as he makes his way to the other side of the table where you stand with shaky hands.
“oh im dead serious pretty girl” he runs his hand along your jaw tilting your chin towards his face. he's smiling at you like you hung and the moon and stars just for him. hes so close all you can smell is his cologne, god did he always smell this good? you aren’t sure who leans in first but your lips touch and suddenly everything feels so right. hes holding your face in his hand but slowly becoming so desperate as he kisses you. the cold metal of his lip piercings feels so good against your lips. you can't seem to get enough of him and you wrap your arms around his neck. he taps your thighs as you wrap your legs around him, he gently sets you on the counter. he breaks away from the kiss breathless and rests his head against your shoulder “you're so perfect” he all but whimpers against the skin of your neck.
“i've wanted to kiss you for so long” you say as he kisses your neck, and you run your hands through his soft hair. he moans softly at the contact and lifts his head up to kiss you again. standing in between your thighs he wraps his hands around your waist, smiling into the kiss. he can't believe this moment is real, he can't believe he finally worked up the courage to to act on his feelings. the all too familiar jingle of the front door opening snaps the both of you out of your bliss. “fuck” you say as you hop off the counter, “hi ill be right there." you look back to kiyoomi “will you please stay i promise i'll be so quick”. he smiles “dont worry im not going anywhere sweetheart.” you smile and kiss him on the cheek before running off to the front.
this might be the happiest he’s ever been. you’re so soft and sweet and oh my god he loves how gentle you are with him. he loves the effect he has on you, in fact he may just never move from this spot in the hope that you kiss him like that again. “thank you have a great day” you chirp as your voice breaks him out of his trance. you appear into the doorway to the back of the door with a smile. “hi” you say as you make your way back over to him, “hi sweet girl” he wraps his arms around you again. “i close in about 30 minutes, will you come home with me?” you ask shocked by your own boldness. the way you are looking at him he thinks he might die. “god i'll be wherever you want me.” the effect you had on him was unreal. “let me drop off my truck and i'll be back in fifteen”, “be quick” you say as you twirl his hair with your fingers. have you always been this hot?
kiyoomi was convinced was losing his mind. he has never moved faster in his life. he doesn't even remember driving his motorcycle back to your shop. all he knew is that he was walking back into your shop with more determination than he's ever felt before. “hi handsome” you say as he drapes his body against yours. “almost done?” he asks as he kisses your cheek. “i have about fifteen minutes before i can go but i'm all done.” you turn to kiss him as he plays with the waistband of your jeans. the kiss is messy and hot, he felt weak in the knees. “i can think of a few things to pass the time” he says as he breaks away from the kiss.
you smile looking up at him, his face was flushed and you could help but be proud of the effect you had on him. “please let me eat you out” your jaw drops at his words. “here?” you ask and he grins “here” he says as he drops to his knees in front of you. you could finish from just looking at this beautiful large man on his knees in front of you. “god please” he's quick to unzip your pants and slide them down your legs. he places small kisses along your thighs as he moves to put your legs on his shoulders. he kisses you through your underwear and you whimper softly. sliding your underwear to the side he starts softly using his tongue, and puts a finger inside you as he continues.
you grip his hair and squeeze your thighs against his head as he quickened his pace. “harder” he whimpers into you and you squeeze harder. god his tongue piercing is incredible. you are getting close to finishing, and he can tell. he moans into you like this is pleasuring him just as much as it is you. “more kiyo” you moan out. he moves faster as he inserts another finger. the nickname could have made him cum in his pants. you are quickly approaching your high as you stutter out an “im close” he's moving faster than before, focused on you and only you. he's eating you out like a man starved, the cold metal of his piercing mixed with the warmth of his fingers had you seeing stars.
you moan his name as you finish and he cleans you up with his tongue. your legs were shaking as he stands up and licks the rest of you off of his slender fingers. “you're so incredible” you say as you wrap your arms around him and kiss him, the taste of you still on his tongue. “i've been dying to do that for two years” he says as he pulls away from you. “i love you kiyoomi” you say looking him in the eyes, "i've been dying to tell you that for two years" mustering the courage to confess everything to him. “god i love you” he says cupping your face in his hands as he kisses you again. “i love you i love you i love you” he says softly in between kisses. "ill spend forever making you feel it."
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reallychaoticwoo · 2 months ago
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Hi love✨
I don’t know if you have written this before but could you write a fic of how ot8 react to you being a virgin and specifically saving yourself just for them ??
⛓️ Heya! I'm not doing full fics atm but heres a quick drabble for ya!(: I hope you enjoy!⛓️
✨️ Worthy ✨️
❤️Pairing: Ateez x reader
⚠️Warnings: cussing, suggestiveness, fluff🖤
‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️
🖤Sorry i didnt go into too much detail, if youd like a smuttier version let me know! This is just the reaction not so much the "action" lol. Hope you enjoy and thank you for your support🖤
If you enjoyed this, you can find my full masterlist Here
"I just took that bdsm test I've been seeing going around, and it turns out I really am a brat!" Wooyoung said with a huge chuckle as he plopped himself down on the far end of the couch. "We could've told you that, Woo. You really didn't need to take a test." San ruffled the younger man's hair sporting a sly grin. Wooyoung just rolled his eyes and replied with a huff, "Well, it turns out I'm also a switch, which means I'm not always a brat, so HA!"
"You know I've been wanting to take that test myself." Hongjoong added into the conversation nonchalantly. "I'd be interested to know what it says about me as well." Seonghwa was the next to pipe in. It wasn't long before the entire group was talking about what they thought the others results of the test would be. Everyone wanted to take a guess before taking the actual test to see how close they all got.
Yup, this was your Friday night. Hanging out with the chaotic group of friends you acquired many years ago. You wondered how long they'd keep up this conversation. It's not like you were well versed on the topic. You knew some stuff, obviously, but you'd never actually done any of it, so you decided to just stay quiet. That is, until they noticed.
"What about you y/n? What do you think our results would be?" Mingi asked, looking at you with an adorably shy yet confident smile on his face. "Uh.. um.. I mean, Woo being a brat sounds right, I guess. I think San would probably be into whatever keeps brats from being bratty. Hongjoong seems like he would be sweet, I suppose. Hwa could be mean or sweet.. um.. Yeo.. idk about Yeo.." Before you could finish, Yunho sat down beside you and gave you the most puzzled look.
"Do you not - Do you not know anything about bdsm?" He cocked his head to the side like a puppy trying to figure out what a new sound was. "Uhm.. no.. not really. Is that a bad thing?" Looking down, fiddling with you thumbs, you felt Yunho lean back against the couch, a soft giggle escaping his lips. "No, not really a bad thing. Just surprised. You didn't strike me as a vanilla." You shot him a questioning look. "It means lame in bed." Wooyoung butted in unable to contain his laughter at your 'lameness'.
Hwa was the next to move spots sitting down on the other side of you. "So what do you know then?" You thought to yourself for a moment, trying to decide if now was the time you'd be telling them you were still a virgin. You'd managed to keep it under wraps this long, but all things must come to an end eventually. "I mean, I know how sex works, obviously. I know some people like it more rough than others and all that. I just don't know all the extra stuff, considering I've never tried anything." The look on all of their faces was utter confusion, and maybe a bit of shock.
San leaned forward, turning his head to face you, "What do you mean you've never tried anything? Like just crazy stuff or like actually anything?" There was no stopping the racing in your chest right now, nor the blush that was prominent on your cheeks. "I mean anything aside from like figuring or handjobs." Why did you just tell them that they didn't need to know. Of course, they were your best friends, so it's not like this is an abnormal conversation for the group.
"Are you.. have you.." Yeosang started to ask. "Yes, I'm still a virgin." You sighed. You were sure your face was so red right now it could be a neon sign. You felt like you were gonna puke, or maybe cry, or you weren't even sure, but you were so beyond embarrassed right now. "AWWWWW little baby y/n has never had any dick??" If looks could kill Wooyoung would be dead in his spot with the look you just shot him.
Finally joining, Jongho, of course, had to be the one to ask, "Is there like a reason? Are you saving yourself for marriage, or is it religious? We've known you for years, and you never striked me as someone who'd put a lot of importance on the matter." Of course, they all already knew you weren't really religious, but that didn't mean you didn't have your reasons.
"I have been saving myself but not for like religious reasons or anything." You knew what was coming next. You were shaking in your spot, praying the two men next to you couldn't feel the fact you were basically having a personal earthquake next to them. Hongjoon was quick with the follow-up. "So what are you saving yourself for exactly?" You felt like he just knew your answer. Something about the look in his eyes said he'd caught on to why you hadn't let anyone else have you. You knew that was unrealistic, but you also knew this man caught onto everything. There was no hiding it anymore.
"If I tell you, but you have to promise not to laugh at me, or freak out, or just anything. Okay?" They all nodded, a few okays, some hums. "Okay, here goes nothing, I guess.. I've been saving myself for you.. all of you.. I know that's kind of stupid, considering we're all just friends, but I guess since I'm already telling you guys my secrets tonight, you should know I like you as more than friends too." If you could shrink into yourself at that moment, you would. You hid your face behind your hands, praying they'd just let that be that, and you could all pretend it never happened. Of course you weren't that lucky.
Feeling two sets of arms wrapping around you, you forced yourself to peek out from behind your hands. The whole room was the most silent they all have ever been. Their faces a mix of shock and some other emotion you couldn't quite figure out. "I-I can't tell you how happy we are to hear that." Seonghwa all but whispered as he held onto you tighter. Yunho nodded into you back, agreeing with his arms around you as well.
"Do you know how long we've been holding in our feelings for you, y/n?" Hongjoong asked, his eyes a little glassy. All you could manage was to shake your head in response. "We've been wanting you for years.. We just never said anything because we were worried that having eight men tell you they want you in every way possible would have you running for the hills." You laughed. You laughed loudly and uncontrollably at his statement. The look of confusion and hurt on his face had you trying to reply quickly through your laughter. "Any normal sane girl, yeah, probably would run for the hills. But I've been in love with every single one of you for years now, and to be honest, I couldn't imagine a life without all of you in it."
Wooyoung stood up and made his way behind the couch to where you were sitting. He leaned forward to wrap his arms around your shoulders, pulling you back into him. "Well, luckily for everyone we all won't have to be without each other ever again. Now, with that being said, I'd love to go first and teach you a thing or two. I promise I'll be nice." With a cheeky wink and a Cheshire grin, he leaned forward to lay a sultry kiss to your jaw before nibbling at your ear.
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mlm-mod-taka · 6 months ago
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Hi there! I'm here to request a little something I've had bouncing around in my head a while and I feel like you'd do a great job at writing it! I'd like to request Taka, Gundham, Fuyu, and Kiyo with an S/O who's basically a giant compared to them and is suuuuuuper affectionate and friendly. Like the first time they met, the reader picked them up and basically swooped then into a hug raving about how adorable they are. You don't have to do it ofc, but if you agree to I CANNOT wait to see the
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HAVING A BIG, AFFECTIONATE, FRIENDLY S/O • taka, gundham & fuyuhiko x gn reader
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first off, i just want to say i am so sorry that you had to wait for so long, i just got back from my two year long break. second, im also sorry, however, i do not write for korekiyo, so i simply didn't include him. i do apologize for not asking if you wanted to replace him with another character, this request has been pending for so long that i decided against it. third, this is more a story in bullet point form than actual headcanons. despite all of this, i hope you can still enjoy this long awaited request.
tws/cws: yelling, cursing, threatening and violence. (mostly during fuyuhiko's part)
|| -> mod taka <3
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at first, kiyotaka will admit that he was quite intimidated by you. seeing someone extremely taller than him isn't an everyday occurrence. yes, many other people were taller than him, but not by such a large degree, usually.
however, if he stood next to you, he'd seem like an overgrown child. so, naturally he was on-edge whenever you were near him, since you could probably easily beat him up if you wanted to.
but he had to remind himself that he was the ultimate moral compass! it doesnt matter how strong or large you are, he will discipline and scold you when it was needed. he will never back down from a fight when it comes to morals, even if he could easily lose that fight.
when you two first met, he decided to make the polite decision to introduce himself. once he was done with his maticulously-worded greeting, (that he had planned last night) he was expecting you to respond in a rude tone, filling the delinquent expectations that he had made of you based on your appearance in his head. but instead...
he was met with the biggest, tightest, and closest hug of his life. his first thought was to hug you back, which he was about to follow, until he remembered that you were in a public space and this would technically be considered as pda.
once he realized that revelation, he immediately pulled away from the hug, scolding you about touching people in public without permission. while your hug was extremely warm and welcoming, he forced himself to keep up his own rules.
you just stood there, very still while he gave you a lecture about being physically affectionate with someone you barely know. he also proceeded to go on a mini rant about the negative effects of pda, but you werent listening to any of it.
you were mainly just focused on how he seemed very passionate about keeping the peace, which made him look weirdly cute. people often look very adorable to you whenever they were talking about something they cared alot about, which is what ishimaru was currently doing.
you interrupted his planned speech about keeping ourselves civil, to compliment him about how cute he looked. taka immediately stopped in his tracks, looking at you like you just spoke a forbidden sentence.
"...pardon?" kiyotaka asked, but it sounded more like a flustered squeak he made out of surprise. you repeated your comment about him, watching his face slowly turn more red, realizing that you were being serious about what you said, and that you weren't mocking him like others do.
after the initial shock wore off, he reacted exactly how he expected you to, which was scolding you passionately again. however, it didn't sway your mind, he still looked very adorable to you while he was practically going teacher-mode on you because you called him "cute."
what you didnt expect, however, was what he said right when he finished telling you off. "thats all! i hope you have learned your lesson!... and while i don't agree with your methods of doing so, i do appreciate the compliment." he added the last part on with a rushed shout, then immediately left, trying to hide his red face from you.
from then on out, you actively seeked taka, and tried to befriend him, which he accepted. you still don't tone down your affectionate-ness and compliments at all, but he seems to be scolding you less and less. in fact, he seems like he anticipates them now, which makes you happy. little did you both know, that this friendship would lead to so much more.
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gundham is the same as taka. he was intimidated by your large stature, and general... bigness. however, gundham tanaka is no coward, he will challenge anyone who dares compete against tanaka the forbidden one!
he walked up to you, with extreme confidence, and started his usual menacing speech about how he was a more powerful entity compared to you "mortals". before he could even finish the first sentence, you interrupted with a sentence that caught his " mighty" act off guard.
"aw, you're so adorable! like those hampsters that are on your shoulder! you're almost as cute as them!" were your first words to him. before his mind would even catch up to the strange sentences you just uttered to him, you grabbed him and pulled him into a bear hug.
gundham needed a solid few seconds to compose himself before he speaks at all. the devas are all squirming in his scarf, also caught by surprise from the strong hug you gave them. once he does process the situation enough to not look like a shocked puppy, he immediately starts thrashing in your large arms.
"release me from your armed trap at once, mortal!" he says in a mix of rage and panic. you quickly let him go, feeling a slight pain from how haphazardly he was moving in your grasp, and also because he didn't seem like he wanted to be hugged, if the sentence he spoke to you was anything to go by.
when he was released, the first thing he did after dusting himself off was restart his original speech of him being the supreme overlord of ice, but this time, he added that you are a very bold human for having the gal to touch someone so "highly superior" with such carelessness.
...or something along those lines. you weren't sure. your ears were only processing a muddled version of a few of the words he was saying, the rest was a blur. mainly because you weren't really paying attention to what he was going on about, you were just focusing on the cute, confident look on his face. along with the cute hamsters resting cozily in his scarf.
gundham stopped talking once he realized that you weren't looking him in the eye, or even anywhere near his face. you were staring at his neck, so he looked down to see his friends, then shot a sharp glaze at you after realizing why you weren't paying attention to his great speech.
"why are you looking at the dark devas of destruction, mortal? rather than listening to the words im gracing you with? you are not worthy to be in their presence, or mine." he continued death glaring at you, crossing his arms while waiting for your answer to his question.
"oh- im sorry... my lord? i was just admiring how cute and fuzzy the... dark devas? looked!" you gave the hamsters a small wave while speaking. you didn't know why he was speaking strangely and giving his pets such uncommon nicknames, but you didn't mind. you thought it was a little cute, actually.
of course, gundham was used to the compliments towards the devas. however, he wasn't taking the adjectives "cute" and "fuzzy" very well. they were evil! they were his partners in crime! how dare you call them such belitting names? before he could scold you again, you quickly swept the rug from under him again.
you quickly butted in, and started unconsciously showering him in compliments. calling him well-spoken, cool, dressed nicely, had cool hair, handsome, and such. you also added how his voice was very pleasant to listen to, and that his eyes were very expressive and clear.
as the flattering statements added on and on, he got more and more flustered. his slight stuttering from being caught off guard by the first two quickly because full-on sputtering with his face almost becoming as red as mahirus hair.
before you could make him even more speechless, he took the very little confidence he had left to attempt to make his usual "super big and bad evil" goodbye statement, but a very shortened and messy version escaped his lips instead, with him quickly scattering away before more of his pride was taken away by your giant cursed goodness.
while you were left confused as to why he left so suddenly, you quickly bid him adieu, continuing on with your day in hopes that you two would meet again, and maybe, just maybe, you would get along with each other.
little did you know that he was secretly plotting your demise for daring to treat him like that, muttering his evil plans to the dark devas, feeling that he needed to avenge them because of how you described them as if they weren't his wicked subordinates!
...deep down though, he would be lying if he said he wasn't looking forward to seeing your large, smiley self again. you were one of the few people who didn't scrutinize his personality, and he greatly appreciates it. maybe, when you acknowledge how truly devious he was, then, you could be acquiantances. or something deeper than that.
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lets be honest, fuyuhiko would really really dislike you when he first meets you. he has this ideology that people who are positive and kind are fooling him, trying to catch him off guard and trap him with their fake happiness. given his family and who he is, he was taught to be skeptical of almost everyone, so it wasn't much of a surprise when he was skeptical towards you.
everytime you even attempted to get near him, he either yelled at you to back or else he'd shank you, or peko would step in, quickly telling you to leave with her hands already on her sword handle in case you try to push it.
you would try for weeks to even have a slight chance of talking to him, because he is the only person out of your class that you haven't had a personal connection with. heck, you even started to have a slight bond with peko when she wasn't busy protecting fuyuhiko!
if you were being honest, you were genuinely starting to give up on having him warm up to you. you knew that no matter how hard you try, some people will still find ways to dislike you. you thought that this would be one of those unfortunate cases, and you were on the edge of accepting it.
until that one night. you were having trouble sleeping, and nothing seemed to be working. you knew that it was probably too late for anyone to be awake right now, so you decided to take an evening stroll around the school. maybe the walking would tired you out.
you walk out of your dorm, only to see kuzuryu starting absent mindedly at the stars in the late night sky. he looked so... at ease. the sound of a door opening and footsteps started him, and his attitude quickly did a 180, turning aggressive.
"what the hell are you doing sneaking up on me like that?! are you gonna try to fool me again, huh? with your fake smiles and over-the-top hugs?" he yelled, paying no mind to the fact that it was 4am, and he could wake someone up.
you reassured him that you weren't going to hurt him, but to be honest, you were hurt at the accusation that it was fake. you wanted to speak your feelings, but you felt like that would make him more on edge, so you just ignored that hurt for now.
disregarding your word, he told you to stay far away from him, pointing at the very end of the balcony he was leaning against. you did what you were told, not wanting to agitate him further. to be honest, this is probably the nicest he's been to you so far. usually, he'd just tell you to fuck off, so you weren't about to let this rare opportunity to talk to him slip pass you.
after a few moments if silence, you decided to ramble a bit, maybe that'll warm him up to you. you talked about everything you could, random stuff you thought of, all the way to deep philosophical conversations that would make you ponder at night.
fuyuhiko didn't look like he was listening, if anything, he looked as if he was spacing out and using you as a white noise machine. however, that was better than his usual response of him threatening you, so you kept going.
eventually, he said something, cutting you off mid-rant. "you know, you don't have to keep up the act right now." "what do you mean?" "i know you're lying, just admit it to my face so you can stop using all your energy trying to convince me you're a good person."
ouch, that stung. but, this is the longest he's talked to you in private, you couldn't let this go. "well, what if i told you it wasn't a lie?" you smiled at him. "bullshit. no one is ever that positive or nice."
"well, i am. and i'll prove it to you if you'll let me!" "pffft. yeah right. do you just want me to believe that someone as big as you isn't a secret spy or assassin? don't even try."
"im not. i can prove it to you." you were so close. he was talking to you, he was actually talking to you! you would have preferred if the conversation was more positive, yes, but he was talking to you! you were getting somewhere!
"really?" he paused, you could see his eyebrows slightly furrow in thought. "fine, since these other students are making things boring as hell, i'll let you prove it to me."
...it was that easy? all you had to do was say that you were willing to prove it at a balcony when it was 4am? it was a bit anti-climactic, but hey, you weren't complaining. "great! you won't regret this!" you walked to hug him before he put his tough guy act on again.
"don't. touch. me. i said i'd let you prove it to me, not use me as a personal cuddle bear. with how different we look, i think you'd crush me." "ah, not much of a hugger? sorry, i get it. should've asked first."
he yawned. "yeah you should've. anyways, i'm hitting the sack. kill me in my sleep and ill haunt you forever." fuyuhiko spoke as he walked back to his dorm room.
"i won't!" you replied, waving him goodbye. you know it was small progress, but you're getting somewhere. you'll definitely gain his trust.
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mwebber · 1 year ago
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what are your favourite martian moments? 😺
thank u for asking eve i'm so glad i get to talk about two of my favourite people on god's green earth <3 in no particular order just off the top of my head...
#1: ABU DHABI 2022 i cannot state just how much brain damage this moment did to me. like i vividly remember freaking the fuck out about the martian interview on sky and talking to the besties and barbi @brawn-gp was like omg another moment do u want me to clip. and i was like YEAH YES. PLEASE. I LOVE YOU (i love you <3) and then i saw it and blacked out and when i awoke it was to this. unparalleled brainrot Truly there will never ever be another
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#2. MARRIAGE QUOTE do i need to say anything else. when i saw this for the first time i think i nearly had an aneurysm
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#3. SINGAPORE 2008 their first real red bull date.......... i think about them sitting on that couples rickshaw every monday giggling with each other generally being blushy messes sharing secretive smiles like they're the only ones in on a joke. also mark pretending to push seb off a building only to catch him STOP my heart is melting
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(tumblr is being dumb and won't credit the gifs properly but they're from thnx-mate-blog)
#4. VLAD RYS GEORGIA K MOMENT this is unironically my favourite pic of seb to ever seb. and of course he's looking at mark. no further comments
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#4.5 THE OTHER VLAD RYS GEORGIA K MOMENT. this photo is still so mind-boggling like why the fuck are you looking at each other like that. hi. hello?
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#5. MONACO 2010 HUG.
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#6. MAKE LOVE TO EACH OTHER / ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR FIRST TIME. it's literally so fucking funny to me that red bull saw everybody's martian brainrot and was like. wouldn't it be so fucked up if we dropped that mark buttered seb's muffin after china 2009. twirls hair. haha wouldn't it be soooo random. if we did that
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#7. WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IMAGE IS. i can't even look at it for too long i start feeling funny in my tummy
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#8. SEB'S LONGING STARE. i ccant believe i forgot this one it should be higher up perhaps
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#9. AUSTRALIA 2016/2017. their podiums are SSOOOOOOO.
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#10. MATCHING PORSCHES. is it hot in here? do you feel feverish? i feel feverish
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#11. RIGHT ONE'S HEAVIER. monaco 2021 when mark casually revealed how much he knows seb still after all this time that seb was like ".. yeah!" like he himself was pleasantly surprised that mark still cares and oh god. somebody hold me
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#12. NEARLY SKINNY DIPPING AU CANADA. caliss de tabarnak attache ta tuque mark nhabille pas des sous vetements criss de tabarnak de caliss d'esti de sacrament de
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(from thnx-mate-blog)
13. VERY GOOD. i just know they had a Conversation after mark retired that was soo insightful and healing that they still reference to this day. they're very good with each other. btw. if u didn't know.
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14. LOVER'S TIFFS. i can't. i can't think about them anymore i think i need to be put in a straightjacket and locked up
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#15. 2013 PRIZE GIVING. the way they look at each other...... i'd write 5 million words of rpf too
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there's literally so many more moments i want to include on here like mark's "i hope when i'm 70 they're not still asking if i love sebastian" or top gear when mark was like "my dad always said you shouldn't hit boys mate" or when seb and mark were at hangar 7 post 2010 and he went for the wettest limpest high five hand hold known to man or when mark massaged seb's shoulder in australia 2009 or their 1-2 podiums in 2009 or in 2020 when mark was like i've moved on from ferrari for u or "seb didnt expect sex in monaco" or china 2010 when they were bitching with each other or when seb was like i don't understand what he's saying half the time or when seb was on mark's shoulders for a red bull stunt or when they played cricket in australia 2012 or when mark was like we're very well-suited to each other both very handsome in that one magazine or when mark addressed their relationship in like 2014 and said we wished each other well in austria as you do or after multi 21 when seb was like i was racing i was faster i passed him i won and mark was like a cheetah never changes its spots we'll be fine or early on when mark was like we'll get hot chocolate together and i'll be going on about smth that happened before seb was born and he'll roll his eyes or when seb was like i learned a lot from mark or when seb said he'd give mark free hotel toiletries for his bday or when they copied each other trying to put stickers on their car or when someone changed seb's wikipedia page to say he's dating mark or when they did their pepe jeans butt ad or turkey 2011 when they all but caressed each other in 4k or the brazil 2011 cheek cradle or their websites i haven't even talked about their websites yet [I AM FORCIBLY DRAGGED AWAY]
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onskepa · 1 year ago
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Hey there, you've been writing good stuff so I thought I'd leave an ask.
Maybe a headcannon on Na'vi having favorite humans? Like Ikran riders have favorite pilots or healers like discussing healing with doctors/scientists? Like yeah humans are weird but my favorite human is clearly great and it's ironically the same among humans?
Hello there! Thank you for requesting and enjoying what I write. This is actually a nice idea, hopefully this is good for everyone to enjoy!
-----------------------------
All as one
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The loyal humans that stayed after the war had much to learn and adapt to their new home. Without the continuing outside resources, the humans had to be VERY creative in means to survive.
One of the things they were very grateful to have left behind was the many machines and other stuff. Metals were recycled and machines broken down to be reused for other purposes.
Since the human base wasn't that far to where the village was at, it was all too common now for the humans to assist the na'vi in reconstructing their home.
The relationship between na'vi and humans at first was wary and very tense. Not all na'vi trusted the remaining humans, still traumatized of the attacks, the killings, the lose of their people.
With the help of jake, things were slowly becoming normal. As normal as it can get.
As many people were injured, healers were much needed. And even then, there weren't enough to heal everyone. That is where the medical scientists came in. Basically doctors.
Of course not many were very welcoming to the humans, thinking of the worse especially with technology the na'vi cant understand.
Took some convincing but the doctors were able to heal more of the na'vi and at a faster paste. Better than the na'vi healers.
Surprisingly, it didnt create jealousy but rather the healers were impressed. And piqued their interest.
The healers and the doctors were the first to step aside their obvious differences and get to know each other. Learn from one another.
The healers taught the doctors their ways of healing, what plants to use, which herb is used for what, the materials, what healing method to use for a certain injury. The paste, the tools, all of that. And the doctors ate up all the information and began to use the na'vi style of healing.
But also, the doctors showed the healers some technology use of medical practices should in case the injured person is too far from the healing tent or the person doesn't have enough medical herbs to heal.
The information exchanged moved from skills to general life questions.
And they weren't the only ones to get along.
Warriors and soldiers. Now they were an interesting pair.
Both trained to fight in the front lines. Both went through horrendous trainings to get to where they wanted, up most loyalty to their people. Knows the ins and outs in a battle field. Willing to die for others.
When those two groups got to know one another, they learn both humans and na'vi aren't so different in those perspectives.
And much like the healers with the doctors. Both the soldiers and warriors would exchange information of how to use different weapons.
The humans showing possible weak spots on their armor and machines, where to hit and what weapons the na'vi use.
And all in between, the normal human workers and the local na'vi also come together as means to balance out one another. Share personal stories, interests, hobbies and a keen friendship
The union was definitely one of the centuries to remember. The communal dinners became bigger and more lively. The soldiers did their part of the hunt thus bringing in more meat and more spices, herbs, fruit, all of that.
There is never a night that isn't boring with the humans. Now seen as their brothers and sisters at arms. Seen as family.
The humans are part of the clan and part of the ever thriving tribe. Part as one, and as one with the people.
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And that is it with this one! Hope you all like it! Until next time! see ya!
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yellowbluemoonshine · 9 months ago
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Hi,
I see you finished Monster and are quite versed in Johan. Can you help me understand the depth of his character better? I feel like many people miss the point of it. Also I'd like to know why you like him so much.
Oh, there is so much to say about him but i will try to make it short as possible.
Lets Talk About Johan;
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First of all, i heard his character as some 'evil' mastermind so i wasnt really interested in his character until i experience the story by myself. I wondered why this series is popular so i decided to give a chance. I tought Johan was like Afo (from Bnha) but he turn out to be a lot like Shigaraki lol.
What makes a character depth is if they are not one-dimensional, that there is a more than how they seem from surface. And Johan fits well since he is mysterious character who is seen as angel, monster, devil, basically anything but human but they end up failing to understand him because if he was so simple, police would've catch him a long time ago.
At the start of series, he seems like your usual dangerous serial killer which fits the psychological thriller theme of story. And one of the best thing in series is his connection with Tenma. A doctor saves his life and this dangerous killer starts to view him as parent figure. A killer who see no worth in life and the doctor who thinks every life is equal, especially saving Johan is the reason he starts to to be able to live his life as a real doctor. Only to learn the child whom he saved turn out to be serial killer.
Tenma feels responsible for this and goes to journey to kill Johan. During this journey, we aldo discover some hints of what made Johan the way he is. The irony is we get the hints and a lot of characters perspective of him, everyone except Johan.
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Is his messages about 'the monster inside of him' serious or not? Tenma assumes Johan is enjoying this at first, then he assumes Johan has multiple personality disorder. And later when he talked with other doctor, he assumes Johan is just playing with him because thats what most serial killers do with police. This is interesting because all of those end up being wrong. Johan doesnt enjoy from killing people. Johan doesnt have DID. Johan didnt write those messages to play with them. We know this because we later learn that he is unconciously imitate the fairytale stories he read as child.
Meanwhile, he has fanclub. A lot of murderers admire Johan because they view him as destruction Buddha. Just like others, he is seen as monster but why though? Its not like he is the only killer in the world. And personally, a lot of characters are more 'evil' than him so the thing about Johan is; he treats human life as nothing. Not just other people but also himself. Thats what makes him so scary to everyone. He doesnt even do it out of joy, money, statue. He looks like the devil in human form. He spreads misery to world. (Thats why he burns library when they said "its humanity's treasure" LoL.)
To people, that is scary. When they look at Johan, his eyes, the see someone who has no identity (nameless world). They see someone who treats life like as a game. Which explains why many people are afraid of him.
Some also want to use him, such as they want him to make second Hitler and he is like 'Nope'.
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I think the main reason i love Johan is that he is like a magician. He can create a beautifull illusion. He is someone who can touch people's hearths because how well he understands them. Which is why he is seen as angel when people dont know he kills people.
This is also why he can use other killers for himself. He can see their vulnerabilities. Because even a killer is still human and they might need acceptance, to be understood by someone. Johan can give it to them. And they wish they were like Johan because they think everything would be a lot easier for them to kill others, like some kind of edgy teens. They fail to understand the person they want to be is extremely miserable.
On other hand, Johan can use his skills with curing people. Such as him waking Suk's mother, he made her remember her son again. Though he does things with ulterior motives, same skills can be used for good things. He can make people happy or miserable by little things. With a little magic or just skill.
And even though he is villain, he has very relaxing voice. He is very elegant. He listens other people. This fits perfectly well with his manipulative character.
We also never know when he is sincere or not because when you think he doesnt he actually seem to care, such as when he cried for Karl. Apperantly, tears were real. He is always in his world, its so funny when you think about he is some kind of mastermind.
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Also his interaction with kids is so interesting. I think he geniuely enjoys being around them. Otherwise, why would he bother to spend time with them, why would he know so much about child's rights, why would he look for picture book for a friend? This is the same guy who encourage kids to rooftop game (and the scene where he was projecting on Milos) which is messed up. It gives me chills. His nihisilism, him viewing life as game end up resulting him expressing love as twisted.
----
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Later, everything changes when Johan finds certain book in library. Basically, Johan's character doesnt necessarely stay same during the series. He changes his motives from unconciously imitating nameless monster stories to find actual monster who ruined his life. Even though he does messed up things, everything about his character makes sense with that scene. Johan geniuely believed that he is nameless monster. Johan geniuely believed that he doesnt exist.
Everything about him makes sense because it explains why he doesnt think death as much of it. Because if someone doesnt exist, they cant be killed. If someone doesnt exist, they cant be responsible for killings. He is detached from reality. Its not that he didnt feel. Its that he doesnt view it as real the way other people does. Because Johan isnt there. This is the tragedy of Johan's story. He doesnt have name. He doesnt have identity. He feels as he doesnt exist.
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The famous 'monster' tape everyone after is about a child unable to see the difference between fairytale story and reality. 'My name is Johan. My name is Thomas. My name is Hans. My name is Otto.' He is them but he is neither of them. Johan views Anna as his half, as Anna is the real one and he is fake copy. He killed people as child, not because he is evil but because he geniuely thought that monster is coming after them. He cant even separate his own memories from Anna's. He takes all bad memories both to protect Anna and other reason is to become someone. He wanted to have identity, he wanted to live so bad but he didnt have on his own so he took it from others, just like the nameless monster.
This is also why Johan is also affected by Tenma's saving him. He probably wondered Tenma wouldnt save him, if he knew he was monster. He was kinda right because Tenma regretted his decision but he was wrong because Tenma couldnt shoot him and he saved him the second time. He showed him that he has right to live, he has right to exist, and that he has a name so he is not monster. This is why Johan can open up his worst insecurities. And they really give father-son energy and i think thats cute. I am glad that even after years Tenma visists him at hospital.
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And we can guess what happened at the end thanks to Grimmer (one of the characters who deserves better), 'The monster become human at the end'. and Lunge said that if he were not a human being, he would not leave a trace, only humans leave a trace. For the first time we see Johan leave his mark. So Johan is no longer a monster, just a human. Also, his real name doesnt matter, he is Johan to us/all.
I love the messages of story. There is a monster inside all of us, but we can contain/heal it and after all, we are all human, our lives are equally valuable and stealing a person's name is the biggest crime, so having a name is very important. Story still has certain writing issues but generally, it is good story. Johan is well written character because his story is such a journey. We cant even really appreaciate the story without fully understand Johan. Every scene he is in meaningfull. And personally, i think his story is very empathic because of how tragic he is. Also sometimes he looks so funny and weird which makes him entertaining. He is such a good character.
Though you are right, anon. Many people still misinterpret the story, especially his character but anyway, there are still people who makes great analysis about him. Such as this analysis made by @cyanogoth.
Its ironic that most/some main villains have the most interesting and sempathic backstories, even though they are supposed to be 'big evil' or something but in reality, they are not really.
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Anyway, he is fun to think about, i love him, lol.
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gemapples · 11 months ago
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see you in 2024 💗💗
very personal ramble about my year and experiences, etc. under the cut. kind of neg just a warning but if anyone would be willing to read it the whole way through i'd appreciate it so so much
2023 was certainly... a year for me. had many highs but a Ton of lows, went forward one step but took two steps back. i'd be lying if i said i didnt struggle and know what to do for a lot of it
i did get to meet and even become friends with people i look up to, got to learn new things i didn't know before. and one of the problems i noticed throughout this year is i spent way more time than i needed to focusing on my usefulness for others and what i can do for people rather than prioritizing myself and my mental health. i think a lot of problems i experienced in 2023 was due to me getting too caught up in how i'm perceived by others (especially on social media like tumblr). for 2024 i want to work on this and be sure to put myself first in every situation and be the best person i see myself as -- not overdo it for the sake of others. i'm going to try being more straightforward with myself and how i choose to approach people. i want to be more involved in this fandom and get to know more people who love kirby better rather than just hiding away and watching from the side like i have for many years, waiting for them to approach me first at some point. i made a lot of progress on this a lot in 2023 but i could always be better :')
regardless though, i wouldn't have been nearly as ready to get back on track if it weren't for the support you all have given me throughout this year. august and september were two of the worst months i've ever experienced; i won't get into it (if you know you know), but goddd was it harder than i can even describe. i've never had to go through something that resulted in me questioning my Entire artistic ability, my whole worth, and whether everything i've grown and learned from is just completely fake. i couldn't look at my work and all of my social medias without being completely disgusted and disappointed with myself. i'm in art student too, so you can imagine how fucking hard it was to balance and muscle through that as well lol. it was nothing but hell. if i didn't get the support i did from everyone, i can say with full confidence i wouldn't have been able to pick up my pencil phone and get back to drawing Nearly as quickly as i did. in fact, i probably would still be deeply effected by it and not have the motivation to continue posting for at least a long while. so i seriously can't thank you enough for that. all the words i was told still stick with me to this day and gave me a reason to keep pushing and learn to better understand myself
im tearing up as i write this so i'll have to cut it short LOL but i want to express how deeply it means to me that through all the conflict i've experienced throughout this year, you guys were there for me and were so generous to offer your time to support me and help me out. knowing i make at least one person smile and enjoy what i post is enough for me. hopefully 2024 will be easier on the emotional rollercoasters, i think all of us could use a long break from chaos really lol
thanks for everything and i love you
-mac
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themoodyestj · 2 months ago
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"it was trauma mixed with a bit of resentment over the crew "ruining" what would be a super fun project for him, but the thing is, it could also be my wishful thinking. As the logical person I consider myself to be, I need to take his word for what it is and say he was, bare minimum, crass. And a bit of a fool to get publicly involved in sindicate things that didnt involve him."
"As the logical person I consider myself to be, I need to take his word for what it is"
then why the hell don't you take his word for what it is when he says he loves his wife, when he says she's perfect for him, when he says tha she is his home to come back to? why the hell don't you take his word when he says he loves Misha over and over again, when he says Misha is a great person, when he says Misha is on the list of people he would call if he had a problem?
Does his word only counts when he says something nasty that you can critizice him for?
*Sigh* Ok, Anon, level with me please. Sit down, grab a cup of coffee. Dont you think we do this dance way too many times? I'll write something I think, you come and say I'm wrong (sometimes nicely, sometimes not), I justify my POV, and then it's rinse and repeat. Is it for the sake of shaking me or attacking me? It won't work. Im a gal with very strong opinions and I'm unapollogetically myself. But hey, if it is for the sake of your insecurity... Fine, lets do this. But I said it already and i repeat: you guys fight more for Jensen's marriage than Jensen himself. But answering your question. "Does his word only counts when he says something nasty that you can critizice him for?" No. I would leave it alone and agree with you if i saw a very important thing: consistency. Jensen says a lot of other things that hint that his relationship with Misha is strained at best, and that his marriage is on the rocks. Note that I'm being very nice here, and choosing very mellow words. It is abundantly clear that, despite what Jensen says to save face, he's extremely uncomfortable with either of them. And sometimes he says *screw it* and just says what he feels. He mocks Misha in any way he can. He mocked his acting, mocked him for wanting to work in TW, he talks about him in cons to JDM and JP in a not positive way... Need I say more? When it comes to his wife, well, I mentioned it many times before. He calls her scary spice, says their marriage works better when they are apart, implies that fights at home are a constant. He doesnt even know where his wife applies perfume. Does it sound like a loving couple that spends a lot of time together? Only in your head, Anon. But now, can I ask you something? And I'd really like to have an answer, so I can understand. Forget everything I said and all the reasons why you may not like me. Why is it so important that Jensen's marriage works and that he's friends with Misha that you come here to try and set me straight? What do you gain with that? I'd really love to understand that misguided passion that you seem to share with other AAs. Because, unless youre Danneel or Misha, I don't see any gain at all. And honestly, unless you are one of them, your guess is just as good as mine. So what makes you think your guess is better, and why do you take it as something that is important in your life? I know my reasons. I could tell you my villain origin story. Tell me yours.
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hollowhearts-and-espresso · 8 months ago
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on an outsiders kick so heres the main gang as things me and my friends have said
Soda: Your wish is my command. Be gay forever
Steve: I'm still straight but I'd fuck you now
Soda: Not that gay
--
Darry: I dont really like you. Why are you always hanging around?
Dally: I ask myself the same thing every single day
--
Pony: I know we're supposed to be saying embarrassing things about ourselves but before we talk about me i'm really upset Two-Bit didnt mention the fact that he was in love with thomas the train
Two-Bit: i watched ONE episode when i was FIVE go fuck yourself
Pony: You have a shrine by your bed
Two-Bit: irrelevant
--
Johnny: I'm not really scared of anything, no
Johnny: but cats freak me out. and so do dogs, sometimes, but mainly cats. and especially ducks. oh, and needles, and doctors in general. also loud noises, sharp objects near me, any sort of projectile, and stoves. but like, thats not that many things
Dally: I understand so much about you now
--
Pony: I'm going to write a novel and all of you are gonna have characters based off you. Any questions about it?
Two-Bit: Am I hot?
Pony: No. Next question
Darry: Am I going to regret reading this?
Pony: For sure. Next.
Johnny: Please dont make me a crybaby
Pony: You shouldnt read this. Next
Steve: Can me and Soda date?
Pony: You already are. Next
Soda: Can me and Steve not date?
Pony: Too late. You know you love him. Next
Dally: You're going to make my character really deep, arent you?
Pony: Possibly. Havent decided yet. Anything else?
Johnny: Is Dally as hot in the book as he really is?
Pony: I'll no longer be taking questions because I'm extremely uncomfortable, but on second thought, you might really like this book
--
Two-Bit, upon walking in on Steve and Soda cuddling: I leave for FIVE minutes and i'm left out of fucking everything. all the fucking time. i hate everyone in this house
Steve: Do you want to lay with us?
Soda: Yeah, come lay with us
Two-Bit, practically dropping himself on them: I'm still mad at you
--
Dally: For some reason Ponyboy is really obsessed with the idea of me being really soft inside and just not showing it so I dont get hurt. I think he wants me to be narrative foils with our other friend too
Dally: How do i tell him i'd change the narrative doom him if i could and feel no remorse without crushing that hope in him
--
Pony: I like to think its a secret but me and everyone around me knows im writing a slowburn, hes only soft to him trope, slight enemies to lovers fanfiction about Johnny and Dally in my head
Dally: the term fanfiction implies i have fans
Johnny: i'm a fan of you
Pony, whispering: they practically write it themselves
--
Dally: Here, i stole this. dont ask questions, just take it
Darry, taking the sleeping pigeon that Dally just handed him with a mildly horrified expression: where did you get this?
Dally: i told you i'd bring back souvenirs from my field trip. no more questions
--
Johnny: Not many people like me.
Johnny: its probably because im kind of a pussy, but i like to tell myself its because i'm annoying because at least then im not calling myself a pussy
Dally: Wait, wait. Who doesnt like you?
Johnny: Huh? Why does it matter?
Dally: No reason. Just, like, give me an example
Pony, in the kitchen and hears all of this: *puts the knives in the cabinet where Dally wont look for them* I dont really want to have to bail anyone out again
--
Soda, to Darry: I think Steve is kind of in love with me, but I really dont want to have to break it to him that I dont feel the same
Steve, with Soda in his lap: *stops playing with Sodas hair* What?
Soda: Nothing, baby, you're fine
Darry: I will never understand you
--
yes, one of my friends did bring a live pigeon back from a field trip. it slept a lot, and we'd hold him all the time while he slept and he'd stay asleep when we passed him around because we had to move. i hope he wasnt sick and is doing okay
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soggyriceee · 1 year ago
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HELLO SOGGY I HOPE THAT ARE YOU WELL AND DOING GOOD, I WISH YOU THE BEST 💗💗💗
ALSO I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH, YOURE ONE OF MY TOP TUMBLR WRITERS!!!
I'd love to request a fic with John "Soap" Mactavish, if you are okay with writing him. If not, you can 7se whatever character you think will fit to this!
And my idea is:
Soap finally got his days off the work, so reader wanted to make him a welcome home suprise. He came home very tired, to eat his favourite food that she made him for dinner, and go to sleep with reader. But reader bought a new pajama. A sexy pajama, that instantly turned him on.
Anddd we all know where it goes hehe.
I would really love if this was a soft, gentle smut. They're very happy to finally touching themselves again c:
- 🦝 (That's me :D)
missed you | John "Soap"
yess, guys plzz request more of the other MW2 men I write for all of themmm~ (not edited)
warnings: oral(f!receiving), soft dom Soap, fingering, praise, missionary, cowgirl, breeding kink but like..cutely??? just really romantic, lovey dovey seggs, listener and Soap orgasm twice
you knew what you were doing. wearing the lace pink, see-through lingerie dress, with a light pink matching set. what you loved the most about it, was that flowers were decorated all over. you had white ribbons on the side of your underwear, a light pink flower in the center. your bra had tiny 'John' chain in the center, the cups a lacy pink. it was beautiful.
but of course, you hadn't put it on until you got out the shower. you wanted to have a romantic night with him. you hadn't seen him in 7 months, he was off in Chicago for another mission he had given you little information about. he hated you knowing how many people he'd have to kill.
"dinner was delicious my love." he smiled, kissing your palm, looking into you eyes. your cheeks couldn't help but turn pink, giggling as he pulled away. you had cooked his favorite meal for dinner, wanting to make sure the night was entirely perfect for him. you both missed each other so much, you couldnt help but spend the whole day perfecting your house. and he couldnt help but bring you far too many gifts from Chicago consisting of clothes, food and random items he found in gift shops or stores.
" go shower, I'm gonna clean up before we get too comfortable in the bed." you smiled, standing from the table. "I can help you baby, dont be silly." he chuckled, grabbing his own plate before you could. but no. as much as you loved cleaning with him, you needed a reason to shower and put on the lingerie. " please, I dont want us both to stay up late. for tonight let me clean for you, you go rest and relax. you had a long mission." you said, taking his plate.
thankfully that excuse was good enough. he agreed and went to shower, quietly sad you didnt want to shower with him. aside from the sexual factor of showering together, he truly did just want to have an intimate, romantic moment with you after the romantic dinner you set up for him. but he knew you were a stubborn woman and he wasn’t going to argue with you.
~~
stepping out the shower, you grabbed the towel he had laid out for you, drying your body. successfully, you were able to sneak in the new set, hiding it in the sink cabinet. of course, it worked. why would he look under there anyways?
you pulled it out, examining the new set with a smile spread across your face. John always loved pink on you. it was the color you wore when you met him. you remember it like it was yesterday. and it always brought a smile to your face when you thought about it when he was away.
it was actually pretty funny. you hated him at first. but he fell in love with you the second he walked into the bakery you used to work at. he came in every day, ordering the same coffee with a croissant. and he’d flirt with you the entire time you’d take his order. you of course, being a college student focusing on nothing but your studies and money, paid him no mind and found him pretty annoying. especially with the constant bragging of his muscles.
“you know, when you get off there’s still this ice cream bar open down the street. i think you’d like it.” he smiled, leaning on the counter completely oblivious to the long line of people forming behind him. with a sarcastic smile, you handed him his receipt. “great i’ll check it out. next.” you responded, looking past him.
but he never gave up obviously. it got to the point even your manager was encouraging you to give him a chance. so, the next time he came in, before he could even say anything, you agreed. “okay. let’s go out.” you said, handing him the croissant you already had beside you.
from then on he’s been completely unable to leave you alone, still making his daily trips to your job to see you. and naturally, as time went on, you became equally obsessed with him. that was three years ago, and a year ago, he officially asked you to move in with him.
of course with that came a lot of alone time. with him being away in the military, which was something he had bragged a lot about during his little flirting moments. “i shoot guns and stuff y’know? lots of super hero activities.” he would joke, wiggling his eyebrows to you, despite the blank stare your give in return.
but with time, you got used to it. not fully. nights were the worst. but it got easier. he called you every chance he could. sent you letters that ,sometimes, never ended up getting to you until even after he got back from wherever he was stationed at.
you snapped back from your little day dream when a small knock came to the bathroom door. “my love.. is everything okay?” he asked, twisting the door knob. quickly, you pressed against the door, holding the knob still. “y-yea just looking on my phone. i’ll be out in a second.”
you began to apply the lotion, rushing so he doesn’t actually walk into the bathroom, spoiling the surprise. you felt a bit rushed, and you were praying you looked as beautiful as you were imagining you would. with the last fix of your hair, you walked out the bathroom and into the connecting bedroom.
on the bed, John laid on his back, pillow over his head. it was a technique he told you he learned in the military that helped him and a few others sleep when away from home. but once you walked closer to him, he removed the pillow, sitting up. and his jaw, literally, dropped. “oh my.. "
as you stood shyly at the door, John slowly made his way over to you, his eyes moving up your body slowly before meeting your eyes. "you look beautiful.." he breathed out, his hands moving to grab your waist. " so beautiful."
as he pressed further against you, his hard on became more and more difficult to ignore. he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. the kiss wasn't rough, but it wasn't gentle either. it was more so passionate. his fingers gripping your waist, pulling you more into him as if that was even possible, your boobs hurting from the pressure. your hands found his cheeks, cupping them as his tongue slid into your mouth.
he began to back away, keeping you on his body. when his legs his the end of the bed, he fell, back pressing to the mattress. your hands found their way on either side of his head, holding yourself up as the kiss continued.
pulling away, he looked up at you. " you look so beautiful I just.. I wanna worship you.. can I do that?" he asked, his hands moving up and down your body, your smooth skin putting him in a trance like state. when you nodded, he smiled brightly, flipping you over.
your head rested on the cotton pillows, your legs being spread apart and John's head in between your legs before you could even realize. his fingers hooked around the waistband of your lacy underwear, dragging them down slowly. he took in how your bare pussy gleamed for him, his bottom lip tugging between his teeth. oh how he'd dreamed of this moment since he got on that plane back home.
once your underwear got to your ankles, he kept them there, lifting your legs to dip underneath them and allowing them to rest on his shoulders. his hands found your hips, pulling you onto his face. yes he was desperate and he for sure was excited. but he didnt know if it was how long he was gone for this time, or just the fact you looked so beautiful, but he wanted to take his time with you tonight. he wanted to make love with you.
the second he felt the heat from your pussy on his lips, he leaned in, sighing in pleasure as he tasted you for the first time in 7 months. your mouth opened slightly, a short breath leaving your lips as he pulled you clit between his lips. his eyes fluttered shut, head resting on your thigh as he gently, slowly made out with your cunt.
"J-Johnny.." you breathed out, fingers finding his hair. that was his favorite. whether it was to simply massage his head or when he was between your legs, he loved the feeling of your tugging his hair. it was peaceful for him.
his tongue slid in and out your cunt, soft squelching sounds coming from it. your head rested on the pillow, back arching slightly off the bed. his hands gripped around your waist tighter, holding you close to his face. it wasn't like you were going anywhere, but he loved the idea of controlling your body movements.
he opened his eyes, looking up at your arched back and slightly open mouth. "feels good love?" he said into your pussy, circling his tongue right to your clit. you nodded, whimpering at the circular movement. he chuckled, continuing exactly that.
your breathing picked up, head lifting to look down at him. he smiled up at you while pulling your clit into his mouth, sucking right back on it. you hadn't even realized it, but his fingers pressed right at your entrance and slowly, made their way inside you. gasping at the double pleasure, your head fell right back onto the pillow.
"oh fuck Johnny.. too good." you whined, your feet now pressing flat on the bed. he felt you trying to pull away from him, but he was far too drunk off your pussy to give you a break. his fingers slowly moved in a "come here" motion, hitting right at your g spot, his tongue moving in circles around your clit at the same pace.
your stomach turned pleasurably, preparing for the first orgasm you'd be having in months. of course, with Johnny being gone you managed to buy yourself toys to keep you company. not even just for that, but also to try and incorporate them into sex with Johnny. but you only ended up using them for maybe a month or two before realizing it wasn't the same as the real thing. it wasn't the same as Johnny.
" look so beautiful love, so beautiful." he whispered, kissing your clit while his fingers continued to move inside you. your slick ran down to his knuckles, only making him harder. he couldn't help but move his hips against the mattress, trying to relieve some of the pain. but it didnt do much. and it only got worse once your legs began to shake on either side of his head.
it was embarrassingly fast you were going to cum. and you tried to think of a billion other things to help you not cum around his fingers and tongue. but Johnny made that increasingly more difficult. " cum for me baby. show me how much you missed me." he moaned against your pussy, grinding faster onto the mattress.
panting, you raised your head to look down at him. that sight alone made your orgasm take over. "I-im cumming.. oh Johnny~" you cried, your legs shaking fingers gripping onto the sheets. Johnny whimpered beneath you, slurping every last but you had to give him. he held your hips down onto his face, helping you ride out your orgasm.
as your legs began to calm down, he slowed down his tongue movements. "j-johhny please" you choked out, trying to get him off of you. but he wasn't budging. his hands sunk around your thighs, squeezing them gently before tugging you back onto his face further. as he did so, his tongue slid right back into your still throbbing hole, sighing as he tasted the sweetness of your juices on his tongue.
your head pressed back into the pillow, whimpering out as he moved his wet muscle in and out of your hole slowly. "missed the taste of you so much.. gimme one more. can you do that for me love? please." he begged between your thighs, taking his thumb to rub at your sensitive, puffy clit. you gave him a weak yes, gripping onto the sheets firmer, nails digging into your palm simultaneously.
his thumb moved in a faster circle, tongue moving to match that speed. "taste so good. love being between your legs." he moaned, shoving his face deeper into your pussy.
your eyes crossed as you felt his tongue rub right against your spongy g-spot, the feeling of his thumb on your clit adding to the sensation. "i'm s-so close.. " you whimpered, grinding your hips on his face. moaning into your pussy, he looked up at you. keeping eye contact, his thumb rubbed faster against your puffy clit.
he didn't even have to say much before you felt your second orgasm take over your body. "thats it baby.. feel good for me." he cooed, sucking gently over your overstimulated clit. weakly, you shove him away, this time successfully. " sorry.. just missed you so much." he smiled, lifting himself up from the mattress.
as your legs stopped shaking, he positioned himself between your legs, rubbing his tip up and down your slit. "did you miss me too my love?" he whispered, looking up into your eyes. your head nodded quickly, pushing up slightly enough for his tip to push inside. a gasp slipped past you both, his hips quickly moving back.
giggling, he moved his hands to your hips. "so impatient. but its okay. i'm impatient to." he whispered before slowly pressing into your tight warmth. your hands were quick to ball up, mouth forming into an 'O' shape. as he bottomed out into you, his forehead pressed against yours. "fuck I missed this." he groaned, pulling his bottom lip in-between hips teeth.
your hands cupped his cheeks, pressing his lips onto yours. the kiss was passionate. not your usual desperate, sloppy makeout. this one was surprisingly slow. slow but deep. your tongues danced together as his hips slowly pushed away and slowly moved forward again. he sped up a tad bit, nothing to the point bed was creaking or shaking. it was a steady, deep speed. one that allowed you both to just feel each other.
his hands roamed your body, cupping your boobs through the bra. you pulled away to look up at him, a smile on both faces. "I know.. we keep saying I-it but.. I missed you a lot." you said, small moans coming from you before the words could. he chuckled at your small struggle, rubbing his thumb against your cheek. " I missed you so much more my love.." he whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheek.
his other hand made busy with your clit, thumb rubbing it slowly and adding just enough pressure to the still puffy nerve. it didn't take long for his finger to get coated in your slick. "so wet.. don't know how long I can take." he moaned, picking up the pace slowly. you weren't complaining about this. and you honestly weren't expecting him to last too long after 7 months of using his hand alone. maybe a DIY flesh light if he even had the time and tools to make one. which you figured was very unlikely.
his balls slapped against the curve of your arse, his head falling into your neck. his moans slowly turned into whimpers and you knew by that alone he was definitely close. your hands wrapped around his neck, his head slowly lifting up. his eyes were hooded slightly, bottom lip again caught between his teeth. "g-gonna wait for you love.. so we c-can cum.. together." he groaned, looking in your face but quickly looking away. but where else was there to look? your face alone was enough to make him finish right then and there, so that wasn't an option. your body was perfect, the way it looked in the lingerie. the way the lighting in the room illuminated your skin and every curve you have. and oh how your moans and whimpers only made his balls tighten.
through all his struggle, he lost the battle and ended up cumming right then and there. "f-fuck..” he groaned, pressing his body over yours, panting into your neck. you smiled softly, running your hands through his hair as he grinds his hips into yours. “i.. thought i’d last a bit longer.” he breathed out. you could feel the heat from his cheeks against your neck.
you tugged his hair, pulling his head up gently. “sit back.” you said, pushing him off you. as he slid out, you fell his cum seep out of your pussy. he lazily sat back against the headboard, looking up at you as you shifted yourself over his semi hard on. you grabbed it with your hand, using his own cum and your juices as lube.
his hips bucked up a bit, still sensitive. “god you so beautiful.” he breathed out, scanning over your body. his hands reached out, pulling you closer into his chest. he leaned in, biting your nipple through your bra. you whimpered, gripping onto him a bit firmer. he smiled, pulling away to look up at you. “sorry.” he said.
rolling your eyes, you pumped him a bit more. when he was fully up again, you rubbed the tip against your folds, humming as the mix of your wetness and his cum covered your pussy. “come on baby.. don’t do this to me.” he whined, thrusting up gently. giggling, you gave into him and slid down onto his length. gasping, you both leaned your heads back.
his hands were quick to find your hips, guiding you up and down slowly. your body’s moved together, filling the room with little quiet skin slaps with a mix of your moans mixed together. “oh fuck Johnny.. love you so much.” you whimpered, looking down at him. his mouth was slightly ajar, eyes rolled back. as much as he did wanna respond, your pussy was too much for him to even process fully what you said.
your slick ran down to his balls, only making his fingers dig deeper into you. gently, he began to thrust up into you. your fingers remained in his hair, tugging on it gently. his eyes met yours, hands still gripping your hips. “so perfect.. your so perfect.” he panted, “w-wanna start a.. family with you.”
at first you thought it was simply the sex making him talk like that. but you remembered how before he left he’d talk about starting a family, what it would be like to be a military dad. every time you both went to the store he’d make a 10 minuet pit stop to look at the baby clothes.
as you processed what he said, you began to feel your stomach turning and you knew you were close. “i love you so much.” he moaned, picking up his pace slightly. his legs very gently began to shake, his head falling into your chest. “come on love make love with me. show me how much you love me too.” he whimpered.
your hips matched his speed, the sound of skin clapping growing louder. you grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up and kiss you. another deep, passionate kiss. for some reason, you loved this type of sex more than the rough “coming back home” sex. you felt like you both were bonding. spiritually and physically. you loved it. and you loved the idea of carrying his baby even more.
“i w-wanna start a family t..too.” you whined, pulling away from the kiss. he smiled up at you, slowing his hips down. as your hips continued to move, you felt yourself coming closer to the end. your pussy pulsed around his length, hands gripping onto him firmer. “g-gonna cum.” you whimpered, moving slightly quicker.
just as you came around him, body shaking and head tilting back, he thrusted up deeply into you, moaning your name out. his head found the crook of your neck, panting into it as his hips thrusted up into you slowly, pushing all his cum inside you. your hips came to a halt, letting him ride out his and your orgasm. “fuck i love you.” he whispered, slumping back against the bed again.
you smiled, resting your head on his chest while he softened inside of you. you both ended up staying like this, discussing the risks of having a baby right now. but also the positives. “i’m ready for this if you are.” you said as he slid out from below you. gently, he laid you on the bed, pressing a kiss to your neck.
“i’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you my love. whatever you want to do, i’ll do. if you wanna have this baby with me, i’ll make it the best and easiest pregnancy i possibly can.” he said, standing from the bed.
smiling at him, you nodded your head. “okay. let’s start a family.”
omg i really hope you all like this😭 i’ve never written a vanilla smut but the idea was so cute it honestly is one of my favorite works. anyways PLEASE REQUEST OTHER CHARACTERS I WRITE FOR ALL OF THEMM
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phoebified · 1 year ago
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ooooobliiiiigaaatory sso post because new dark rider design dropped! erissa (not sure why they didnt just keep elise or change it to eris? but that's ok!), the remake of chiyo, just dropped, and... she's white! interesting. there were a lot of ways sso could've saved the dark riders fumbles. there were a LOT of those fumbles, but the one i hammered on the hardest was chiyo, because i myself am japanese, and immediately know a bad design when i see one. likewise, i'm pretty spot on with calling how that character will most likely be written, and can make a few good solid guesses. i will say, i feel lots more in common with sabine, and am against the way they designed someone i could relate to and then painted them staunchly as a villain; likewise with all the dark riders, this may be sso's most diverse group yet, and they are villains. HOWEVER. at that point, they had already put them in-game, and now all i can hope for is some good old fashioned childhood "everything ends up fine" writing that shows these characters some love and perhaps sways them from their homocidal ways.
back to erissa.
why was chiyo's design racist? well, it wasn't just her. most of the dark riders were handled poorly. to be honest, i've talked SO much on this blog about why chiyo was such a bad design that i simply don't want to rehash it. was it the worst i'd ever seen? no. but putting in those stereotypes to a game children -- WHITE children -- play is like teaching children to hit bees nests for fun. it's pointless and hurtful to everyone.
SO: what do i think of erissa? she's cute! i like this design way better than the last.
that's it. whole idea. i think the colors are more comprehensive, i like the crochet details, i think the hobby horse looks a little silly but i kinda like it. overall, i am happy.
now you're probably wondering, "what, so sso can't make non white villains!?" and the answer to that is 1. don't be stupid and 2. of course they can. but they better put just as much effort into the rest of sso. they don't, though. our only buff woman is alex, who barely counts because she's kinda small as fuck in game. that leaves Sabine, who's more buff. her character is nonwhite, visibly has arm hair, and until proven otherwise, is nonhuman. not only that, she's evil. that sends some pretty strong messages, and, side tangent, but to anyone too goofy or too stubborn to see how that's a problem, i'm excited to see how the children in YOUR family turn out, be it yours or other family member's. will YOU teach them what racism is and why it exists and the complexities of it that people scoff at that allow it to continue to exist day in and day out, or will you let them play all the other games that DONT revise their writing, where the good characters are straight and white and every other type of "normal" and the enemies are gay or nonwhite or both? anyway. i hope you see my point.
"children will experience this stuff ANYWAY!" sure. why add to it?
"oh, so you're pulling a save the children thing? so what, you want everyone to be th3 same?" no. i want them to take chiyo's design, make her clothes look better, make her default state not like a mouse, and put her in the game as sso's like. only japanese character. i'd fucking love that! do you know how little representation there is for weird japanese girls? we dont got dick or shit. it'd be so fun to have a slightly redesigned chiyo as an npc, i'd totally fucking adore that! different clothes bc i think her past design was a little. ourgh. it'd be fun and cool if they made her like, a budding emo? omg that'd resonate with so many people i'm sure, and the purple hair is already suited to it. black hair would also be cool, though. do you see what im saying here, though? context is everything. im sad sabine is a bad guy. im sad every white girl who plays this game gets someone to relate to. i guess i too really relate to and like anne, but that's where the similarities end. it's easy to say "why does race matter?" in a sea of white people if you're white, but it can get lonely playing any video game if you're not white. sso is one of the best games ive found in terms of trying to really add diversity (although im still waiting for updated fat npcs), and that's why i weighed in so heavily. it matters to me. i love this game. i think they've done so much good with it recently, i'm really just beyond impressed and in love.
i think erissa is a good design.
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spamtoon · 5 months ago
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DCRC week 3 time! ...In week 4.
you see. every time i wanted to open this comic. i wanted to do something else actually sosososososo bad. however now's the time
my history with the comics is ZILCH. i've had my friend show me a few duck comics they had in their first language and i've read some of the darkwing stuff but i haven't dived head first into scrooge's origins the way that many other duckblr members have
please note i might be off because i am very tired as of writing this. i will pass out directly after i finish this and so my judgements might be a bit. Strange
First comment I'd like to make her is how professional the comic seems, though that may just be because i'm viewing this though the don rosa archive on the definitely legal website. i'm glad at the very least that all of these like. little comics that are hard to keep track of are in one place
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second off i just want to shoutout how tiny louie is here. ity bity. the 87 triplets are so small. sorry this is how it is with me i'm like wow... i appreciate these comics and all of the work people put into them and then im like oh louie little
Oh my aching eyebulbs! I did in fact misread that as lightbulbs
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great panel we've got going on here. og glomgold acting quite fruity while donald needs to catch the thing... Glomgold you do understand you are also claiming other people's fortunes given the work for you in the south african diamond mines... a detail that i've only ever heard in trivia until now.
donald is so just continuously done with their garbage and he deserves to be i think. for all he's been through
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sorry i just like the exaggerated poses here and the sillouettes and line effects. showcasing the them
Oh deliver us!
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sorry i just love the expressions (and posing in the third) here. i know i'm mainly admiring comic panels so far but dang it. they...
aaaaand this is where the stuff that. didnt quite age starts. i've heard from chatter on discord that Things Happen in this comic and that scrooge should be wanted in Peru because of it. they way that some of the descendants are just casually helping him gnngnsn. i understand it was the 80s...
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glomgold ate in this outfit and i'm sure you all agree. assuming this is glomgold i havent read that yet but look at him. that's glomgold. his goofy ahh smirk
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FOEIJFIOUSGJEIAFEAFOJIUEAAEJOFEADAEFJIEA well. i did forget that glomgold held scrooge at gunpoint. and he does! i'm so . the way he's just. being held at gunpoint and scrooge's reaction is like THIS IS LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE i'm so. not even a gun can stop scrooge mcduck. or the triplets for that mater they also are kinda unphased at this point
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another case where i just want to note these panels for the pose and expression contrast between the two of them... they
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FEAHUIAOEJFEA the cogging way that the sound effects STREEEEETCH across the winds. priceless i think
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i also want to note the action panels in the plane crash section i'm so. this one in particular but all of them really
Okay so i guess they were just. stuck with glomgold for multiple days. and scrooge is like where the barp is everyone ohhhh curse me cog darn kilts sorry
also omg calisota mention. calisota girls we're unforgesorry
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glomgold's little happy handstand... you deserve to dark.wing cartwheel actually i think. also caro thinking about quack.erjack
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parrot mention (context. im normal about that phone guy)
also please know before it registered that was a shine effect i thought the zebra's tail was a Bomb for a second and that the twist was going to be it all explodes in glomgold's face. but alas
HUIDAEJIOJFAEIJF THE WAY SCROOGE IS JUST. CASUAL ABOUT IT like dammmm you guys were slow. the fact scrooge has just had a little setup out here i'm so. yeah let's prank glomgold
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im so mad... its beautiful. ive heard comics scrooge vs dt.17 scrooge described as business scrooge vs family scrooge and if this isn't way to differentiate between the two of them. the adventure's over because Business glomgold.
sorry every serious comic person that may or may not be reading this because i am. not very serious especially right now but please know i have so much respect for these and cant wait to read more. except i have to do an assignment first. two assignments. four. school is kicking my behind right now thats part of why i'm late but i will catch up eventually. now time to go to sleep
OH WAIT THERES MORE COMIC hold on wait what if you see this while i'm editing no you don't. i can't believe i actually got juked by the fake ending. i will admit i have been coasting along for a bit now but Now i am invested
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the way he spends multiple panels gloating about the gems specifically... both of them are so petty here and its beautiful
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rooooolling giiiiirl sorry my legitimate first thoughts. i am having an era right now. yes glomgold chase your big gem frisbee
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the way that they're dragging both of them out and away from each other. like alright folks. time to break it up here. you're gonna destroy the temple. and they do!
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GLEEP!
okay now its the end. this comic has made me a fan of comic glomgold and thats what i'm going to say here. good night everyone i hope this is a great start to my beautiful comic journey
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crayonurchin · 3 months ago
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It's been a long time since i felt like im going nowhere in life, but boy howdy today sure has those vibes
Is my art and writing even good? Why wont publishers take me, i know I'd work hard, and if anyone bought commissions I'd make them so pretty. I can't do a 9-5 it's too much on my psyche but am i just being entitled?
Mcm London comiccon didnt approve my October application. Do people not like my soap? Nobody buys it on my shop. Why do i keep investing in it.
Am i ever going to feel human around other people? Even with other neurodiverse folk i feel to alien to be really present.
C-ptsd. It sucks. Why did adult men hurt me so many times as a child.
I want to be an OCD warrior, but lately i just feel tired. OCD is a fire that won't stop burning and I'm out of water to douse it.
Im 28. I live with my parents and dont see myself independent any time soon. I think i want a partner but what if im lithromantic? Doomed to yearn but unable to ever have without hurting others? Is it actually gender ocd or am i in denial? I think i want kids but adoption has so many ways to hurt families and what if i hurt the kid with my own bullshit?
Im trying to stay realisticly positive but today is not a strong day for me.
I am proud of my efforts but im greedy and wish i had more to show for it.
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orangepeelshortbreadcookies · 4 months ago
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Hello!!! sorry i jum in here but i saw many post of your as a polin pen hater. You can hate what you want of course but its necessary to lie just to hate a character because of her body??? it wasnt that bad, she was not mean.
yes, what she did telling the ton marinas secret was not the best choise but it was what she thought it was the only way. Do you all wish for colin a marriage with not love?? and in a more practical way this is fiction and we all now he was going t end with pen , they are end game and thi is romance, its suppouse to be romantic that theu found each other, and for me it is. She didnt told marina secret because she wants colin for herself , she never thought she cold have him. maybe yo dont understand this but we, fat girls who are foung unattractive NEVER expect love or having a man, even less somone like colin. I think you, as many sadly, jugdge Pen actions too strong and deep down its all becuase of how she looks. Depp down i know you judge her action strongly becuase you can't accept that a woman who looks like that get something. I know you will keep hating, just want to say my opinion
(2) I saw you ask once why we ( pen fans) are mad when people hate her like you do if we got everything, saying like she happy and get married and LW. i will answer that from my perspective. Im fat, people is mean and that herats and yes, maybe it not a good things but it nice to have a revenge for all that suffering , but beside that i feel represented FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME in a romance show, ALL THE ROMANCE FEMALE LEADS AND THIN WOMAN and for the first times she looks like me but everyone is hating her becuase of how she looks and the worst is anyone accept its becuase of that, you all write long essays jugdging her actions but as i said, Were her actions that bad???? think about it fr......
Others please also refer to this post for more context.
I did not intend to answer this ask, because honestly, I'm really very lazy. Since there are only so many ways I can make my argument against the same accusation over and over again, especially to someone who clearly doesn't want to listen, I figured ignoring was the right decision. I'd rather spend my creative energy and efforts on my own writings, instead of figuring out another elaborate wording on how being critical of a character's actions does not equate fatphobia, and that personal adversity does not equal a 'get out of jail' free card for repeatedly inflicting pain on other people on a mass scale. I've talked about it in depth in my own blog, as well as reblogging other eloquent, well thought-out posts from others, Polin fans and anti-Polin fans alike. You can just scroll through my blog to see that. But I don't think you have come after me, time and again, to be convinced.
Even now, I still think ignoring you would have been the smarter, or at least, easier course of action for me. But I digress. Maybe it's one of those days where I feel more confrontational, maybe my ADHD is acting up and my meds are not hitting as well today, maybe after weeks of stress-filled personal achievements I'm feeling talkative seeing someone trying to disturb my peace. Nontheless, since you've made diligent efforts in seeking out my response, today's your lucky day, once and for all.
Something my mutuals and followers might have learned about me, is that I, being pretty fucking lazy, don't post/write a lot. To remedy this, when I do post, oftentimes I try to be as thorough as I possibly can. So, in the spirit of being thorough, here's a little log of the things I have received in the past weeks, on this site as well as on AO3, some of which, @cherryblossom970sblog, I have reasons to believe came from you
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So you feel represented by character. Awesome. Good for you. You should celebrate it with like-minded people. You think nobody likes Penelope the way you do? Find the ones who do. I can assure you, they exist. I saw them daily on my dash. Read fics that bring you joy. Don't read the ones that don't. I have seen way too many Penelope/Anthony, Penelope/Benedict or even Penelope/Gregory fics, or fics where Penelope just straight up abused Colin that are celebrated in the comments. I don't like those and you know what I do? Scroll past those fics or click out of those and not read them. You know what I don't do? Go after the writers, try to police their writing, and accuse them of bigotry for not catering to my preferences.
Accept the fact that it's not going to be a 100% percent approval rating. And that's fine. That's part of life. I'm a primary Benophie fan, I've seen people wanting Benedict to end up with different people. It's their prerogative, I leave them alone. I have mutuals who have different takes on actions of Kate, Edwina, and Anthony, with varying degrees of feelings regarding how season 2 ends, and I have my own opinions. Personally, I find all three parties were wrong in that triangle, especially Anthony, and the sisterhood between Kate and Edwina in that season ought to have been handled with more respect and care. And my mutuals and I have civil, nuanced discussions about such things and ending those with still different opinions. That's okay. They're fictional characters and their actions are up to character analysis. It's fine.
What ISN'T fine is obssessively stalking inboxes of strangers, REAL people, unleashing insane level of hate and prejudices in defence of a FICTIONAL character, and accusing them of crimes they OBJECTIVELY did not commit, all because they don't share your opinions. I know you don't think this kind of behaviour is okay, you said so yourself that it's not a good thing. You've experienced fatphobia, you have my sympathies for that, but it doesn't give you the right to be shitty to other people. Your own bad experiences do not entitle you to disrespect, dismiss, invalidate and insult the people you harassed, including me, many of which are WoCs who have valid concerns regarding how their own experiences are represented and treated on the show. My struggles of being a bisexual, Asian, immigrant woman does not excuse me from being toxic to people who have done me no harm. I will not be vindicated in demeaning someone who have criticisms against the actions of fictional character who share my traits, criticisms that I just happen to disagree with.
And frankly, I find reducing the nuances of a character or person to only their bodies, to contribute (as either condemn or excuse) their actions to be only the result of their bodies, fucking insulting. It's infantalising and dehumanising.
Have a nice day and happy shipping. Leave us alone.
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1leeknower · 2 years ago
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"I hate the rain, but if the rain was love, i'd be standing in it ti'll i'm soaking wet"
⏤͟͟͞͞ Lee know x Male reader
angst!
part 2 here
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Drabble cause i just cant bring myself to write a full oneshot! 😀 (i might end up doing a part two of this) Not proofread!
Two knocks on minho's door, "weird" He thought since he wasnt waiting for anybody; Once he opened the door, in the pouring rain stood a man, crying, soaked, with a pout on his lips, the first thing Lino did was pull the other guy inside, it was his "friend", Y/n.
Lino goes to get some towels for Y/n, while said man was left on the living room, waiting for the smaller male to come back.
The fact is, Y/n is very, very, very insecure, and is always seeking approval from others, which leads to him thinking he's not enough, making him drink more and more, It broke Minho's heart seeing him like this. Lino loved Y/n, but said boy just couldnt see it, too busy chasing people who just aren't worth a penny, much less all that admiration.
Today was one of those midnights where sadness would take over, leading Y/n to the closest bar, when he just couldn't take it anymore he would just drag his feet to Minho's place, crying himself to sleep, The next day he would leave by the morning, before minho woke up; It was a vicious cycle, repeating over and, over again.
It Hurt minho maybe just the same amount as It Hurt Y/n, whenever the L/n got drunk, he did things that he would regret later, one of those times he kissed minho, Y/n still didnt know that, lino knew that if Y/n found out things would get weird between them and since L/n would always talk about how he regrets everything once he's sober, lee know thought that Y/n would regret the kiss, Lino also felt guilty, because he got too carried away and kissed his friend back, even though he knew you weren't in your right state of mind, he spent many nights wide awake thinking about how stupid he had been.
Bangchan and Jisung already had told him that he shouldn't keep on taking care of you and being so mean to himself, he was trying his best, and in this moment he was the only one actually caring for you, but he just couldn't help it, he loved you so much to just leave you hanging like that, even if that shattered his heart into tiny little pieces.
Taking a deep breath, he took the towels and left to go back to the other male in the living room, Y/n was standing, holding into the hem of his shirt, eyes red and puffy, tears still dripping on his face, Lino handed L/n the towel, but just as he thought the taller male was reaching for the towel, Y/n pulled Lino by his wrists soon holding him into a tight hug:— Im sorry, I love you – Y/n said, muffled by Lee Know's covered shoulder, no response, Minho wanted to tell L/n everything, but he just didn't have the confidence, he felt pathetic.
—I don't wanna hurt you, I just don't know what to do, everything right now is just a mess and I don't know how to handle it, but you make everything seem perfect, like problems didn't even exist with you – Y/n's words stung, Hard to tell who was hurt the most; Lino couldn't bring himself to form a full sentence, all he did was give in into Y/n's touch, holding back the tears, the confessions, holding back the entire world he had going on his mind, he was hurt too, but no one could see it, he thought that it was because he just wouldn't let people get closer to him, but then he noticed it's in reality because people just don't care about anyone else; Once again Y/n spoke, even tho he wasn't getting replies, he felt comfortable enough to open up, even if Lino wasn't listening:— do you think im useless? – "do you think im mean?"
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