#i wanted to rewrite those a bit and post them separately but i never got around to it
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can't decide if it's obnoxious or not if i post my little 100-500 drabbles & prompt responses to ao3
#i just want tidy up i guess#i'm starting to forget stuff that i've written lol#i also have to repost the a/d vamptember pool smut and the l/a cockwarming ficlet#i wanted to rewrite those a bit and post them separately but i never got around to it#lord!#and i have to work on my queens of the damned fic rip
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My opinion on the Latino Jason Todd headcanon
While I do understand ppl's criticism of the latino Jason todd headcanon and how its kind of racist to make the kid with parents with drug problems as the latino one, to me its more of a reclamation BECAUSE of DC's racism.
Read any 80s/90s batman issue that covers gang violence and drugs, most if not ALL of the criminals are poc; black people and latinos visibly make up the majority in the poorer neighbourhoods in Gotham. Aside from the caricaturist way they r drawn/speak, its not THAT weird cause its a reflection of irl big cities where immigrants and marginalised ppl are often forced to live in such situations, (like most of my dominican family lives in the bronx... it aint racist to say dominicans tend to flock there), BUT...the weird part is when the second a sympathetic character comes from that area, he's white and has a name thats "too fancy for the streets".
Obviously, Jason was created to look like the old robin, so I can't say that the whole "diamond in the rough" situation was purposely a tad bit racist, but its still a lil weird (especially with bruce's comment).
If Jason were a part of the overwhelming demographic in his area, the good-kid-in-a-bad-area trope has less connotations. DC is currently trying to fix this trope is by making crime alley whiter, which isn't bad but they could've just yk... humanised the non-white residents.
I also feel like the messed up way Jason was treated post-death is what makes him so relatable to latino readers. His tragic story of dying while trying to save his only living relative is turned into a lesson for newer vigilantes. Jason's particular disdain for abusers on a few occasions was twisted (by both writers and characters) into him always being dumb, reckless, cocky, angry and disobedient, always violent, never having been able to get over his upbringing. None of those things were true (he was a normal level of reckless and cocky like every other robin, not more), but its an easier narrative to digest compared to how it was in reality; a kid who worked so hard and loved even harder, died to save a woman who couldn't care less about his existence. He was an emotional AND smart kid who wanted so bad to help others get better but was remembered as too emotional (in a bad way).
THIS is the reality for many latino diasporas in day to day life; Theres no question that Latino culture is passionate and emotive, but people from other cultures assume that it is followed by instead of logical. both can coexist. emotion does not mean u have no logic. Emotions can be irrational but they aren't inherently that way, and I wouldn't say that the moments where Jason lashed out as a teenager were irrational (in og runs, not rewrites post red hood), they were mostly done to protect someone (going crazy on abusers, disobeying batman to save sheila, that time he got into a fight at school to defend his friend).
A lot of euro-centric culture is OBSESSED with the idea that rationality is separate from feelings and emotions, but not crying at a funeral doesn't mean you're better than those who do. Emotions are the basis of human ethics and morals, they define the way we interact as a collective and ignoring them does not mean they are not there. Theres no winner to a contest of who can feel the less. And the way Jason's emotions are treated (pre-rh, hes definitely unhinged afterwards lol) is so in line with how white culture tends to punish those who aren't ashamed to feel.
I TOTES UNDERSTAND that some ppl who headcanon Jason as latino are doing it for the complete opposite of reasons, like "oh here some angry emotional guy with druggie parents, haha must be latino". Its weird. I dont like it. And its only brought up so he can swear in spanish in some rlly bad text post where his emotions are getting out. But to me there's so much potential for metanarrative and commentary on how latinos are treated in media that can be exemplified through the way his character is treated. Being latino would add SO MUCH DEPTH to his character and his dynamic with the others.
#this is just my rant lol#for the non-latinos who wanna write latino jason todd pls stop the spanglish... he dont even have to speak spanish at all#you can incorporate elements of his culture/upbringing (pls pick a country tho the experience is so diff everywhere)#im super biased but carribean jason>>>>#ok but like undead lore in dominican culture is crazyyyy... like the myth of zombies comes from hispanola#my grandma was genuinely terrified of waking up in her coffin bc of stories of ppl coming back to life that she wanted to be cremated#jason todd#latino jason todd#red hood#batfam
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Re: the earlygame beef between Mammon and MC. I always find it so funny whenever I see the (abundantly common, entirely typical) "Mammon has been there for us since day one! Our first man! Mammon is the only brother who never threatened to kill us or try to hurt us!" posts. Because it's just...so incredibly obvious how wrong they are? I have to assume that the people making those posts either literally never played the actual game at all, or they played with their eyes closed. Or perhaps they don't know how to read.
Because the game was literally shoving the fact that Mammon hates your guts and wishes you were dead in your face for like 2 or 3 Lessons straight. On day one when he first meets you? He can't stand your ass. He wants you gone. All the way up until you make a pact with him, and even for a little while AFTER making a pact, Mammon actively despises you and tells you so himself. And then multiple other characters (including Diavolo, Barbatos, and Lucifer) ALSO come along and give you extremely obvious exposition like "wow, it's Mammon's job to watch over you and protect you in this hostile new environment? And he abandoned you the first chance he got, leaving you to the wolves? Haha, classic Mammon. Of course he abandoned you to get eaten by other demons, what a goofy guy"
And YOU LITERALLY ARE ALMOST EATEN BY DEMONS. BECAUSE MAMMON DIDN'T GAF ABOUT DOING HIS JOB AND DITCHED YOUR ASS. The manga goes into more detail about it too, showing that you literally came to harm because Mammon abandoned you when he was supposed to keep you safe. And later on when you call Mammon out, he threatens to kill you and eat you. To your face. He literally does that.
Idk, it's just crazy to me how badly people can mischaracterize these things. I know that Mammon is the fandom baby or w/e but Mammon fans in particular love to rewrite history and infantilize him as this sweet innocent woobie who never did anything wrong. "Mammon is the only brother who never wanted to kill us!" you're literally lying, lol. He threatens to kill you and eat you to your face. "Mammon loved us from the very beginning!" No he didn't, he repeatedly told you that he hated you lmao.
This happens with other characters too, yeah. People include Beel as part of the "never tried to hurt us" group even though he absolutely DID try to hurt us when Mammon physically force-fed us his custard (another thing Mammon did to deliberately harm us) Also Satan gets thrown in the "one of the bad ones who tried to hurt us" camp, despite never actually doing anything to us. He gets angry and goes on an edgy little rant, but if you actually know how to read you'll notice that he doesn't ever actually DO anything to harm us or try to kill us. He never makes any kind of move to actually harm us, but everyone assumes he does? Wild. But Mammon gets this the worst for some reason.
I could go into a whole entire separate spiel about how the Mammon infantilization also applies to the "everyone bullies him for no reason even though he's literally an innocent pure baby who never did anything wrong ever" but I'm just gonna double the length of this already long rant. What's crazy is I don't even dislike Mammon, he's cool. But oh my god some Mammon fans can be absolutely fucking insufferable 😭
Woobie 😭 I'm sorry, I know there's like paragraphs happening here but that word sent me lol.
I'm gonna level with you here, anon. This kinda thing just does not bother me in the slightest. I mean it doesn't matter to me if people mischaracterize or rewrite the story to fit their preferences. If it makes them happy, then they can go ahead and live their truth.
I think I probably land somewhere in between on the Mammon characterization scale, mostly because I like when he's a lil pathetic~
Anyway, if you want me to get into the nitty gritty of how I characterize Mammon, I can certainly do that. But I kinda get the vibe that you just needed to rant a bit. And that's okay, my ask box is always open for ranting or rambling or anything else!
#sorry I just love the word woobie dkfjf#and I just don't have the energy to get worked up about stuff like this#I think I'll leave this out of the tags though#anon asks#misc answers
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Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂
I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:
(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)
Stats
Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+
Remains of a Night: 120k
Aberration of Sunlight: 134k
This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌
Though, I'm seriously understating it.
Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.
And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.
And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.
Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.
Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩
Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇
My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.
Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!
It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me.
For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.
I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.
I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.
And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.
Remains of a Night♤♤♤
Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.
It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.
One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3
Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:
ACT 1
Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass
I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.
It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.
Rain Through the Universe
Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!
As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.
Aberration of Light
If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.
Night Falls On Their Reflection
Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)
He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.
But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.
This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.
(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)
(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)
Who Puts These Tombs in Ice
Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.
Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.
(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)
ACT 2
Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant
Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.
Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots.
And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.
That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.
I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:
Corpse Snow
The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.
The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.
It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.
Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.
Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”
Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.
“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”
Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”
Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”
“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.
“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.
They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.
Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.
This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.
Heart of the Void
The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.
Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧
I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔
(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)
ACT 3
Retro Spectrum
Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.
It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.
And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.
Toast to the Light
Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.
Dissonant Recognition
Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.
Night Beneath the Elevator
Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.
Time-sensitive missions, y'all.
And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.
(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)
ACT 4
Loop System
Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?
(I adore writing Hahn.)
Outreach
Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.
Days in Darkness
I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.
(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)
ACT 5
Echo Terminal
The first of the two log chapters.
I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.
(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)
Where, Now? + Solgesis
My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.
Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.
Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.
Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.
Watch me😎.
What Goes Around…
(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly.
Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.
And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.
And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.
Called Toast to the Light.
I friggin’ love everything.
New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right
Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.
For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.
Conclusion□●□
Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤
As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!
So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.
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20 questions for 20 writers!
thanks to @accidentallyadorable for tagging me! this was fun. :3
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
30! only 20 are visible from my profile, though. my older fics and drabbles are quarantined to a separate account, and a few things are posted anonymously.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
113,190 words.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
it’s mostly the locked tomb these days. i also have a few old works for the penumbra podcast, the magnus archives, and the adventure zone—and a few even older works for harry potter and percy jackson, but those are on ff.net so i can pretend they don’t exist.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
it’s familiar (but not too familiar) - fluffy griddlehark time travel fic. this was my first attempt at writing them and i could definitely do a better job now, but the prose still holds up.
alive, barely breathing - post-canon griddlehark first time fic that’s fucked-up and sad. sometimes i look at the comments when i want to feel good about my writing. :3
bring your hunger - post-canon griddlehark grief/relationship study. also a WIP. (honestly, this one might go on anon for a bit—it’s vulnerable in ways i don’t want to explain, and i’m shying away from writing the next chapter because the Fear of Being Known got to me a little.)
it’s not unusual - fluffy modern AU where team 69 go to a bar and play catan. palamedes has an oral fixation, because of course he does. this one is campal with background griddlehark getting-together, but i might write a sequel from harrow’s POV someday.
bad idea right? - modern AU chatfic inspired by this post by eskildit. it’s about camilla dealing with the paldulcie situationship™️ & enduring so much dyke drama thanks to the nature of her friend group. it received a podfic recently, which is fun!
(… i also want to write a camdulcie sequel for this one. i’ve been rotating the idea frequently.)
5. Do you respond to comments?
almost always. there are a few scattered comments i haven’t replied to yet, but i like responding! it’s an excuse to drop more lore about the fic and the writing process, IMO.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angiest ending?
the ace cam fic i haven’t finished yet, which will probably be posted on anon. (i feel like people are going to attack me for poor representation or something, but it’s inspired by my own experiences, so. can’t win them all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
something sweet is pure, uncomplicated fluff, so i guess i’ll go with that!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
not really. i’ve blocked a few people for being rude, but i haven’t gotten hate in years.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
occasionally. i’ve only posted 4 explicit fics, but so far it’s a pretty even mix of f/f, f/m, and other.
10. Do you write crossovers?
i have a tlt/w359 fusion AU i want to pick up again! i need to untangle some threads of the metaplot, though.
(also, the first fic i published on ff.net was a harry potter/rise of the guardians crossover. yes. it was cringe. yes, it’s probably still posted on the internet if you want to find it.)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
nope.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes, actually! a few of my old hp fics were translated into spanish or chinese.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
i wrote a round-robin fic with the campal server once. i also started co-writing a fic with quinn a while ago (before we both got busy with school) that i’d like to return to at some point, because the concept still makes me vibrate with glee.
14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
i’m not sure that i have one, actually? i’m a multishipper to my core.
15. What's one WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
i have so many WIPs in my google docs that i’ll probably never finish.
i’d like to revisit my fic about necromancers & dysautonomia some day, but my writing style has changed so much since then. i might have to rewrite what i’ve posted.
16. What are your writing strengths?
i’m frequently complimented on my worldbuilding. i’m good at examining the implications of things that other people might not think about, so my plots are original even when i’m writing a fandom trope. (i can’t wait to post my harrow nova AU for this exact reason.)
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
sigh. pacing. i write from very close POVs, but sometimes i get too far into the character’s head, and it drags the story down. i’m trying to write sharper prose, but i’m going through an awkward growth phase as a writer—i know the structure i want, but it’s a struggle to get there concisely.
also, i over-edit instead of writing new words, which does me no favors.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
i guess it depends on context? i have a pretty good grasp on code-switching from being bilingual but not quite fluent, but the memory of that one klance fic haunts me.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
i mentioned my first published fic earlier, but the first fic i wrote was a percy jackson self-insert fic when i was twelve.
20. Favorite fic you've written?
indelible! cam and pal figure out that dulcinea isn’t who she says she is at the fifth’s anniversary party, but it doesn’t change anything. <3
///
tagging @harrowharkwife @friendamedes @cindthia @logicbutton @thewinterstale @sluggydrabbles & anyone else who wants to participate!
#there’s nothing like a tag meme to make me realize i know my friends’ ao3 handles much better than their tumblr usernames#m writes#m speaks#ask game#<- close enough
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Paris - A miniseries Jamie Tartt x F/Reader
Hi, babies I was inspired to write this mini-series because honestly, I was looking for Jamie Tartt smut and couldn't find any I was desperate. Then saw this post by @yungbludz expressing exactly how I felt. So took matters into my own hands. This is one of 3 installments leading up to you guessed it smut! Jamie Tartt, baby girl I’m sorry for what I’m gonna put you through in this series. I love you I promise.
PARIS - CHAPTER 1 (DID YOU SEE THE PHOTOS?)
Warnings for this chapter: So many swear words I’m sorry I belong on a sailors ship with my mouth most of the time, Adultery!, honestly dickhead boyfriend, I DON’T THINK THE READER SHOULD BE FEELING THIS OKAY SHE’S BEEN MANIPULATED INTO FEELING THIS! Rugby players? The sun. The media. Jack Grealish (yep he gets his own warning), talking of sex. No use of name or y/n. *Iain Stirling impression* A relationship hits the rocks.
Context: Okay so the reader is currently dating Sebastian Love a fake rugby player I’ve made. Very much inspired by that episode of Ted Lasso where Keeley and Ted have that article scare. Also, any political stances are jokes. This chapter is really short sorry. Seb is a dick.
"What the fuck?!" Sebastian yells as he slams our front door open, okay mate we get it you're a rugby player but please don't break the only entrance to our home. This could be a reaction to a bad practice or something has gone down, either way, this will come back onto me and will not end pretty.
"You alright?" I ask as he storms into the room to stand directly facing me with only the crappy coffee-stained table separating us. Stupid question, regretted asking it almost instantly but words are said and you can't rewrite them just because later on you wish it'd been something different. His eyes are so big and bright right now and not in like the way they usually are, almost doll-like in nature little shimmer, no now there was no little shimmer, no light to be seen at all in those soulless eyes.
"You tell me. Huh? Tell me all about your new little boyfriend." His fucking teammates I swear to god they know not to wind him up it will end badly and he’ll believe it.
"What’s happened, Seb? Tell me. You can’t come in here yelling at me, accusing me of cheating so use your words. Who would I possibly be cheating on you with?” God, I sound a bit patronising, he is a grown man, not a child.
“Okay gonna play dumb then? Let me give you a hint. Footballer, messy hair, talks like a twat.” He counts these adjectives on his fingers. Oh, surely he’s not talking about.
“I ain’t fucking Jack Grealish!” Ain’t even met the man, he is on the list though, gotta thing for footballers who I’ll never have a chance with.
“Jamie Tartt,” I BEG YOUR PARDON? Oh god, he knows I don’t know how he knows but he knows that Jamie tried to kiss me 3 months ago. I’m gonna die alone this is him breaking it off, he’s only just moved in 2 weeks ago.
“I ain’t fucking him either! You need to stop listening to guys on your team y’know they’re doing it to wind you up.”
“Explain this then.” He dramatically slams down a newspaper with the front page displaying the headline ‘SEBASTIAN'S LOVE NOW JAMIE’S TARTT’ This is the Sun. Aka one of the most biased shithole of a paper. I say these exact words to him. “Oh so you’re calling me stupid now are you?” I don’t like this. This isn’t a comfortable feeling. I want him to leave. “You gonna say anything bitch?”
“Get out.” My voice is barely above a whisper.
“What?” His voice is the polar opposite of mine, ear drum bursting, heartbreaking.
"I said get out. If you want to choose to believe this newspaper instead of your actual girlfriend then I choose to kick you out."
"But I live here." Hah, not for long.
"For like 2 weeks, you haven't even got to help out with rent yet so really you have no jurisdiction here" Big word for me. "So get out or I won't hesitate to call the sun up and say so much worse." I redact my comment earlier he is a child as he storms out with a pout on his face and a huff. "I'll drop your stuff off on Friday." A little wave goodbye and a door slam later and I am on the sofa shell shocked.
He was a dick. Like damn, I stayed with him for 2 and a half years and he's only just moved in? That was a red flag. I just feel stupid for delaying it this long and letting this be the final straw.
Tonight. Who needs a man when I can read porn and drink wine.
6 glasses of wine and a message from Jamie Tartt reading ‘Drinks tonight?’ later and well you’ll have to wait to hear the rest.
A/N:
Holy crap I did it, I know its short but this is just a buildup to the good shit. And what fanfic of mine would it be if it didn’t relate just the tiniest bit back to Taylor Swift. Well I hope to see you again when I update next which will hopefully be Friday! Glad you read. If you have any critics or stuff you think would be cool to add either comment of dm me I want as many minds on this as possible.
AL
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Hi, I just wanted to say I love yiur wish rewrite ideas so far! Your art style is so cute!
I’ve got afew questions about it.
What’s Asha’s role in the story? Is she an actual princess this time or is she Magnifico’s apprentice from the start?
I would also like to know a little more about star and Magnufico if you can❤️👍
AAAAA TYSMMMMM!!!! THIS MEANS THE WORLD TO ME
ANYWAY messy character/story ramble and some on the spot brainstorming under the cut:
I mentioned it in my first wish post but yes she’s still wanting to be the kings apprentice/isn’t a princess (but I’d say for the ending after the king gets killed off villain style she replaces him as princess so it comes full circle n all)
The main difference with my Asha is she has zero social skills/is shy/doormat, I liked the idea of how she was anxious before meeting with the king but youknow in mine I’m getting rid of the adorkable stuff from it. Like it emphasizes how big of a deal this is because she finally worked up the proper courage to speak with him.
I’m not 100% sure but I like the idea she only offers to be his assistant AFTER being turned down about granting her grandfathers wish, like I think she’d always want to be a sorcerer like him but never had that wish right at the forefront youknow? Perhaps after her father died she lost hope in that or just thought it was unrealistic etc but I feel like in the movie her having both of those motivations at once kinda muddled with things and definitely paints her as being a bit selfish especially considering this movie does just a reallllly poor job at show don’t tell like we never see Asha like studying magic or wishes or looking up to the king etc but we sure are told it a lot but just?? It definitely feels very cluttered and could easily be adjusted with just emphasizing one thing over another, so in mine I’d like to think either one of two things I’ve not decided yet but either 1: she hits two birds with one stone and goes to work for magnifico for a bit and only THEN asks about her grandfather's wish or 2: my previously stated idea of asking about wish first and doing apprenticeship work in exchange
I kinda prefer the first one a little bit just bc gives us some time with Asha and the king to interact while also giving time for another wish ceremony to happen in that time, and for her grandfather to again not get his wish chosen to kinda put a nail in the coffin. And in mine her grandpa is much more physically fitting for being 100 like man is going to die in like the next one or two years he doesn’t have very long HENCE haves emphasis on WHY Asha is so insistent on getting his wish granted bc in the movie sure she cares about him but we aren’t SHOWN WHY like no specific childhood moments or any clear close bond moments like I said just way too much tell and not enough show
not sure about her dad yet but I definitely wanna make him more prominent maybe he was magnificos apprentice or studied stars etc just something to give him more of a importance
But yeah so making her shy was a big thing in helping separate her from other Disney protags bc I honestly can’t really think of many outright anxious or people pleasing Disney princesses/Disney girl protagonists ? And because it helps with her arc of standing up for herself/seeking justice like it hits it home a lot harder as compared to “ooo quirky girl but now she’s cool!!” Like it felt very forced to me atleast in my opinion so here it feels much more natural, and helps her bounce off star more bc the goat was not it that wasn’t a character to bounce off of that was a trailer one liner generator.
So speaking of Star!! Bc you asked about him so yeah uhh not really much to say besides I wanted to combine the cute ball of energy personality that the movie had AND the bombastic energetic shapeshifter boy from the concepts so I combined them together to get cute starboy who rather than being full of energy is more so just easily excited especially considering star has wanted to visit earth for forever
I like the idea that maybe they never granted wishes or helped people was because Asha and her dad were the only ones who really wished on stars bc everyone else just went to the king. So Star hears her venting abt the king not helping her grandad at the tree asking for help as like a last ditch attempt and star recognizes her voice and grants her wish like ‘you wanted help? I’m here now!’ Type of deal
Ohhh another idea I actually got this from another post but someone had mentioned making the stars magic/wish granting work like the blue fairy from Pinocchio, in which they can’t directly grant wishes but instead give you the means to achieve your wish on your own (hence the bit in that art of magnificos ref sheet having the doodle of Star saying even star can’t grant wishes directly/take them, which is a huge deal bc if a cosmic being can’t do something that this regular ass guy CAN do then that’s a huuuge red flag (or… black flag ig in this case bc yk.., black magic lol))
My Star is basically just a rehash of the classic Ariel type character of ‘I’ve watched humans my whole life and it’s boring in space, I want to be human because I like them!’ But unlike Ariel he doesn’t stay human because star instantly regrets it after getting it granted because 1: magnifico manipulated star and just got god powers and 2: ‘oooohgpf this is overstimulation hell wtf wtf wtf I hate this this feels so weirddddd’
And another reason is because of the Asha foils/recognition of the self through the other plot of them two thus they get symbolism of appreciating what they already have and all :3
Magnifico I’m still brainstorming on but tldr I’m thinking he will be more manipulative than straight up evil/the full evil stuff just shows up later/it’s a slow burn
Like starts off being a little sus but ultimately well meaning and helpful, then bleeds into manipulation territory, then once getting star magic he just lets go of all that restraint and just is full power hungry villain, ALSO killing the book possession thing bc that was stupid and instead I like the idea he uses dark magic from the start but no one knows because he lies about it’s just because he’s the most powerful sorcerer/maybe he’s the only one who actually knows magic either bc of a ban or perhaps something about his old kingdom being destroyed maybe it could be a library of Alexandria thing of he’s the only sorcerer left around in that area shrugs but lots of fun to be had with him ! slutty evil kings are an awesome trope like I really wanna play on hubris/self downfall bc that’s my favorite kind of villain of ‘you could have been different but just dug yourself such a deep hole it became your grave’
Sorry for the ramble oof I just decided to let alphabet spaghetti fall out of my mouth and hope it turned into comprehensible sentences ok
#wish rewrite#wish 2023#wish disney#a lot of this I implied or vaugly talked about b4 but now I get to go more unfiltered detailed over it#Rewrite the stars au#<came up with a name so it’s not just wish rewrite lol
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Hi! I've been wanting to send asks for a while but couldn't think of a good question until recently.
I have three questions (or perhaps I should say headers).
One: How's your rewrite progressing? At what stages is cannon altered? Are there going to be concepts/characters ignored entirely?
Two: I've seen your (humorous) plea for long/multi chapter eah fics what are some of the favorite's you've read already? Any chance you have an idea of your own outside the rewrite? long or short (chances are yes, for literally anyone in this fandom but it bears asking).
Three: What fairytale(s) would you
A: Like to repeat
B: Could functionally thwart if you had to live through it.
C: Die in, or flee the land to avoid at all cost's.
Omg love the questions. I will admit I’m a bit to brain dead to fully comprehend all the questions so if I answer I different question that what you intended feel free to correct me.
With that being said, the first chapter of my rewrite is done and basically fully edited I believe it’s around 6000/7000 words. Chapter two hadn’t been edited but it’s kinda a weird one so it doesn’t really need to be edited and it’s only around 2000 words.
Chapter 3 I’ve written a bit of it and it’s also a short and I have a layout for it. And chapter 4 is going to be on the longer side probably 6000-10000 words. But after those are done and edited hopefully I’ll publish the fic!!
So that’s the progress, for what parts of canon are being altered, I think a lot of characterization. Bunny, Alistair, Crystal, Milton Grimm, Snow White & EQ are all characters who were either portrayed as good or morally grey that I’m going to make evil (whoops spoilers) and then also kitty isn’t really going to have a redemption arc like she did in spring unsprung, she’s just going to continue to chaotically be herself.
And then just every plotline / character will just be slightly more mature and in depth. And it depends on how you see canon because the rewrite is going to be a mix the tv series + the books which vary a bit on canon. And then obviously a lot more queer representation.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that the epic winter arc is being disgraced but it’s going througu many changes. I’ll probably get ride of the whole through the woods concept because it doesn’t really add anything to the plot (although I am adding a musical that doesn’t really do anything for the plot except allow be to geek (theatre kid) out and give us some cute dizzie moments).
I really want to include her but I don’t think there’s going to be any room for Bella sister. Other things from canon that I’m not including is darise, Meeshell being a horrible singer, DARABELLA, Maddie having visions, the snow king, cupids crush on dexter, the revealer rays, probably lots more but I can’t think of them.
Onto the next question I definitely have some fic recs. I’ll probably make a separate post for it but my top 2 are rewrite ignite restart and a legacy of brambles and thorns.
I think the reason why I’m actually commuting to the rewrite is because it’s really the only eah fic I want to write since I plan to hopefully cover all the characters and ships I like. In my past fandoms I’ve had like 20 different fics I wanted to write but I never got a around to all or them.
Oh wait actually I guess I have one idea but I doubt I’ll ever write it since I want to focus on the rewrite. But during my transition stage from the mlb fandom to the eah I was thinking about an au. Either the eah characters with miraculous’s in the real world or mlb characters at ever after. 
Okay and for the last questions im assuming you’re asking which fairytales I’d like to 1. Be a part of 2. Don’t want to be a part of and I could stop it 3. Would have to run away from ?
1. When I was little I had the yearbook thing that had you create your own eah character and I always wanted to be a princess so I made myself goose girl
2. Definitely wouldn’t want to be like Jack in the beanstalk so I just wouldn’t take the beans
3. Sleeping beauty was my fav when I was younger so I definitely wouldn’t want to have Faybelles destiny. Or be an ugly sister, that would kill my self esteem (no wonder Bella and Brutta ran away)
For the last 3 questions I wasn’t sure if you were asking all abt me or if any were for my rewrite.
Anyways tysm for the ask !!
#ever after high#eah#lizzie hearts#apple white#daring charming#raven queen#kitty cheshire#darling charming#Bella sister#eah ask#dizzie#eah rewrite#ever after high rewrite
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Damn, I remember the first time I watched FMA 03, when I was 16 or 17, I stayed up until 1 am to finish it, and today, watching episodes 38 through 42 turned me into such an emotional mess that I have to take a break lmao what happened??? My own emotional traumas, that's what happened
I'm feeling so many things again
In episode 38, when Ed and Al are fighting, Al drenches Ed in water and he says "it's going to rain!!!" and I'm like haha no don't try to pull a Mustang on me I know this episode won't make me cry and GUESS WHAT the flashback with Trisha convincing Ed to go and find Al so they can talk things out and Al looking so happy that Ed isn't upset with him anymore it's so cute I CRIED
I need -- no, I DEMAND a spin-off series where Winry and Scziezka solve murder mysteries together (I'd love to write it myself but I know I'm not nearly good enough at coming up with mystery stories lol), they're adorable I'm so happy they totally get together post CoS
Martel's death hits SO MUCH HARDER than I remembered holy shit, she and Al actually got close, we see more of her, her death is so horrific and hearing sweet sweet baby boy Alphonse cry just BROKE MY HEART I never wanted to hug an armor so badly
Scar's brother's last moments, the way he looks so terrified and desperate to protect his little brother from Kimblee and Scar being so devastated when he dies I just-- *clenches fist*
Sloth using Ed's PTSD against him that's so UNFAIR; also I was thinking that I was a bit disappointed that this anime did not include the nightmare that Ed has at some point in the manga where he sees his mom saying "why didn't you make me right" etc but this is it, this is this scene, and it's worse because he's hearing it for real, he is very much awake, he has the real voice of his mom in his ears and she's saying this to him and I'm-- *clenches fist harder*
Rose's story, I'm still so mad, she deserves all the happiness in the world
Speaking of Rose, it's so funny how the moment Al is like "I wonder how Rose is doing" the show just full on goes "Ed/Rose shipper" mode lmao, with Ed blushing while pretending not to remember her, him being so awkward when he speaks to her just before they go on their separate ways and her son just smiling and giggling when he speaks (first time we see the baby laugh, he had only been crying up until then) :') To be honest it feels a bit out of the blue to me but idk
Dante sporting Lyra's white ass in the town of brown people and speaking as if she was part of them just because she's following Rose around to manipulate her is incredibly cringe, but then again, it's Dante, she's the villain and we're already supposed to know something is up with "Lyra". But still.
Very random but Al pulling objects from or putting objects inside his armor from behind the cloth always looks very awkward lol
I used to never really care about Scar but I have learned the errors of my way as I now realize he is actually one of the best characters in this goddamn series, even with the orb of knowledge and the three arm losses, and Mangahood!Scar being much more villainized and ending up working with the military will never come even CLOSE to 03!Scar using his last bit of strength to save Alphonse to honor his love for his lost brother and take his ultimate revenge on those who murdered his people in the goal of protecting oppressed people, all of this while an epic music is playing (honestly it even feels like Ed is made to be seen as an obstacle as he tries to prevent the soldiers from entering Liore lol)
Sorry but Wrath is annoying as hell, I know that I'll probably have a different opinion if I rewatch CoS after that, but for now I hate him
We're finally entering the "Rewrite" era of the show and I had forgotten how much it rocks (Ed's hair animation at the beginning fhjkfhkdhjk)
I only have 9 episodes left but between Lust and Sloth in the upcoming episodes I'm not even sure I'll be able to watch it all in one go lol. Still excited to see more of Winry and Scziezka and remembering how much Hohenheim is absolutely useless in this x)
#fma#fma03#fma 03#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist 2003#nore rewatches fma#it's so funny I thought I already knew I loved this series#I even feared that rewatching it would actually disappoint me#but actually I think I love it even more now#at the ripe age of 34 I'm happy to see I still enjoy and relate to it a lot#I even learn to love characters I had never really cared about before#like Rose and Scar#and as an equivalent exchange now I despise Izumi lol#but hey people grow and learn and change#that's literally one of the themes of the series so it fits
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I'm probably clogging your inbox with this but, ✨💘🎈 for the ask game? :))
Never clogging! I wouldn't do the ask game stuff if I didn't enjoy replying to it :)
✨ What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)
I've bemoaned in the past about how IronStrange fics get significantly more views/kudos compared to gen fics with the same characters, and that's the same story for my fics. The two fics marked "IronStrange" are at the top of my kudos/hits list (with the two crossovers rounding up the top 4), and I used to be a little bitter about that. I accept it better these days, though I do think folks who enjoy IronStrange should also toss more bones to writers who use the Stephen Strange & Tony Stark tag alone, and should rec gen fics in those collections, even if it's a separate category.
But because of this trend, it means that the work I'm most proud of, my Earth-197320 series, gets a lot less traffic than my IronStrange pieces. At this point, though, I am happy that there are still some out there who read gen fic. It'd be super awesome if it was more of a 50/50 split with Stephen fans, but that I have anything resembling an audience does make me luckier than some newer writers because the MCU is not as popular as it was in 2019, when I published a significant amount of my work and got my name out there. (I myself haven't read fanfic since February, so I need to get back into it. Part of why I haven't is that trying to find new gen fic starring Stephen is so difficult and discouraging).
💘 Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?
Yes, but not in the MCU! I have a large collection of ollllld one-shots that I did as a teenager surrounding book!Aragorn from LOTR. They're still up on older archives, but rewriting them would be fun. I did a couple that are up on AO3, but my LOTR muse simply hasn't returned. And there are fics I'd like to get done for the MCU first.
🎈 Describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? Does it change?
This is a pretty difficult question if you really think about it. I ended up going down a rabbit hole and read this fascinating article about creative writing and style and tried to see where I fit into it.
I know I don't follow all the rules of concise writing, especially with use of adverbs, because I think "said wryly" is a justified use of an adverb if it can be read as straight-forward *or* wry. I'm not sure what an editor would do with my work if I presented it to them, but considering that Ready Player One and 50 Shades of Grey's terrible prose was published without issue, I'm not too fussed about my use of adverbs.
I really enjoy deep dives into the character's psyche, but I always write from a limited POV of usually one or two characters, so we get a limited view of the psyche in general, at least in one chapter. I'm not terribly fond of the omnipotent POV and only wrote it in a comedy, which used it quite well.
I will say it can change depending on the needs of the story, at least a bit. For instance, I usually have a limited third person POV, but I have written in first person and I've written third person omnipotent. I have some description to help set a scene, but scenery is not my forte and it's something I actively have to put my brain power towards to get it done. My most descriptive piece by far was the one from Sherlock's POV due to his very observant mind, and that was a pretty challenging piece.
The narrative of telling the story is a huge part of my writing, but I like to see character growth throughout it, if possible. It depends on the length of the piece.
I think that's enough rambling on this subject, hah.
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The fans of Emma Roberts are never going to acknowledge the actual facts of what happened because it ruins the image of the woman they idolize and who they thought she is. The fact that the arrest was made because there were witnesses that gave statements to the police in addition to the statements from Evan and Emma that were given separately is something that refutes the claims her fans make about mutual abuse or Emma defending herself so they refuse to address it and will continue to spread lies. Not only did the police take statements from Evan, Emma, and witnesses, but they also examined the injuries on both Emma and Evan (and Evan had way more serious injuries) and with all of the evidence and info made the decision to arrest Emma. Rather than take this information in and reexamine whether Emma is someone they should really support, her fans choose to attack her victim and spread misinformation and lies. They ask for articles that state that emma was the aggressor ( I'll link one here for you all :) https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/07/17/emma-roberts-arrested-attack-boyfriend-evan-peters_n_3608932.html) but they can't give an article that states that Evan says he was abusive too nor can they give a link to the police report that some of them like to bring up. Because those things don't actually exist. They are lies. But Emma being abusive to the point where she got arrested is a fact that cannot be changed or rewritten.
Hi, I just wrote a really long message about Emma and also wanted to provide this article which reiterates that she was arrested because of witness statements and that the police did examine injuries on both Emma and Evan yet they arrested her. https://www.eonline.com/news/439736/emma-roberts-arrested-after-fight-with-boyfriend-evan-peters
sorry for the long rant but I am so over the lies and misinformation.
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no need to apologize, you're absolutely right. emma's morally bankrupt minions lie when facts are readily available. they add in ''details'' that never happened and basically rewrite the history of that night to paint emma as the victim, or at least to make evan an equally guilty party, when there is no proof of this whatsoever. also, if you look at the huffington post article, it literally links you to the TMZ post which states:
Sources close to Emma tell TMZ ... Emma and Evan were hitting each other and she was arrested because he had obvious physical injuries. The sources deny Emma bit Evan.
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the only, ONLY source that states evan and emma were ''hitting each other'' was from someone on EMMA's team. aka, a PR person trying to save face for their client. not an eye-witness account from that night, not an objective bystander at all. period. in fact, the fight took place in a hotel room in the wee hours of the early morning - who the hell do they think was visually witnessing emma and evan fighting? as the huffpost article states, they were OVERHEARD fighting. i know emma and her minions are dumb, but just a quick refresher: you hear with your ears, and you see with your eyes. i guess it would help if you had a brain somewhere beyond that but i can't help them there. so nobody saw evan pimp slapping emma and told the police who turned a blind eye and arrested her instead of him. just a personal anecdote but i find it worth sharing: i had a next door neighbor in my apartment several years back who was being physically attacked by her boyfriend, and it was not hard to guess who the aggressor was based on the words exchanged.
so that leaves us with this: hotel guests heard a fight taking place in emma and evan's room. police were called, they came into said hotel room, spoke to them, and i'm sure also interviewed the guests surrounding them. police visually observed that evan was the only one who had physical injuries indicative of being attacked and determined emma to be the aggressor. due to this, she was arrested and her saving grace was evan not pressing charges against her.
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AO3 Meme
Thanks @starknstarwars for the tag!
Rules: Give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits, Most kudos, Most comments, Most bookmarks, Most words, and Least words.
🥇 Most Hits:
Kinktober 2019 (28,299) / Through Fire and Flood (9,055)
Summary: The hits leaders overall and under my primary username; despite separating out the fics that I posted under my smut-compilations pseud, that's exactly what TFF is, too—written for Zutara Smut Week in the ATLA fandom.
Thoughts: People read my smut, I guess? Which is fair, given how much I've written.
🥇 Most Kudos, Comments, Bookmarks:
(Silhouetting) The Snow on the Breeze
198 kudos
27 comments
48 bookmarks
Summary: Avatar - The Last Airbender AU working conceptually backward from Zuko's visit to the Western Air Temple—only revealed late in the canon show—and imagining a how things might have gone if that experience had affected him more strongly. Currently moored off the coast midway through Season 1, but to be continued once the log circles back around.
Thoughts: My first fic that got serious traffic in terms of responses — I still get the occasional fav/follow on one abandoned fic back on FFN, but the frequency and complimentary comments while I was actively writing/posting this one blew me away. Thanks to all of those people, and my apologies for my rare and sporadic comment responses.
🥇 Most Words:
"Unnatural Selection," Part 1 of A Dream of Small Minds (12,878)
Summary: From the colony of his birth to the tombs of Khar Delba, Miraathis Riskav has never known a life free of the Empire's lash. Lysandra Vael was raised knowing that power was hers to wield, following ancient honor—until her parents were murdered for their ideals. Now, ten years after the Treaty of Coruscant, both arrive on Korriban: One seeking to reform the Sith, the other to destroy them.
Thoughts: One of my many incomplete works, although the plan and intention are still there; I just need to get through the stuff that's ahead of it in the queue. Miraathis may not be my absolute favorite SWTOR OC, but he's where this series started and important to me, and Lysandra is a delight as well if also frustratingly contradictory. (Technically I've also written a much longer fic, but that need not be spoken of, and is coming down as soon as I get close to posting the first chunk of the rewrite—that's the queue that's holding up writing on this one.)
🥇 Fewest Words:
"Shadow of Intent" (355)
Summary: A brief look into the psyche of the Director of Project Freelancer as he tears his project, and himself, apart.
Thoughts: I had completely forgotten about this little snippet, but unlike some larger things I've written I think it still holds up fairly well, all the more so for dating back to my FFN days.
Tagging: This seems to have been going around for a bit, so I'll just add @ftmshepard and anyone else who wants to join in!
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helena, my babe!
for talk shop tuesday, when do you figure out an idea is substantial enough to start writing? or do you just go balls to the walls with an idea? show us the process!
Morgan, I'm starting to think we're twins separated at birth because I asked you almost an identical question. This is insane.
Because my fics have OCs, I have to spend time figuring who they are, what they're motivations are, and how they'll fit into the story I want to tell before I can even contemplate writing it. I used to be a lot more diligent about that part of the process, but I also found it very limiting. For an ADHD brain like mine, that can kill an idea before I even get a single word onto the page. So I had to rethink and rework my process.
In trying to figure that out, I learned that I simply need to start writing. The characters are driving and I'm in the passenger seat taking notes, listening to what they're telling me and letting them guide me in the direction they want to take the story. They tell me more about themselves and how they fit into the dynamics of that world.
The first time I consciously did this was with my Hangman fic Turning Tables. The OC, Dr. Jas Lane, is a different character in those early fics than she is in the later ones, and as I'm working on the rewrite of the story, her character is more defined from the offset. Another example is the songwriter!Bob story. I knew I wanted to make it obvious that he and Piper are songwriters, so I started the story in the studio, but allowed Piper to take the reins and guide me through. It's incredibly effective and has made me enjoy the writing process a lot more.
Another thing I look at when writing fics is the timeline. Before I started writing for Top Gun, I wrote chronological chaptered stories, but I only ever posted a couple of chapters before I got bored. If it's not providing dopamine, I just won't do it. I didn't want that to happen with my Top Gun stories, so I decided to write anthologies. That way I could follow the dopamine and write the fics I wanted, no matter where in the timeline they took place. This approach has done wonders for my productivity, and the only reason my stories have as many parts as they do is because of this method. Learning to work with my ADHD instead of against it changed everything.
That being said, I still have stories that are full-length fics like my Rhett Abbott fic Linger. That story always felt like it needed to be told in chronological order, so readers can see the development of the relationship between Rhett and Lou. There are some ideas that go to places I could have never even imagined, like Mob Boss Bob and Eccentric Professor Bob. Both AUs were supposed to be a one and done deal to get it out of my system, but they took on a life of their own and I wouldn't have it any other way. Others fade into obscurity, never to be seen or heard from again like my 101 Dalmations!AU with Bob.
This was a lot longer than I intended, but I hope it makes a bit of sense, at least. Being sick does not make me particularly coherent, so forgive me for any confusion.
TALK SHOP TUESDAY
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⊱┊𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬. ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃
— pairing; ⚢donna sheridan x fem!reader
— word count; 3.3k
— summary; Sophie organised an afternoon of speed dating for her mother. You happened to be a customer at the certain restaurant it took place, and it seemed as if Donna was more interested in you than in all the guys that came for her. (lots of fluff because I can’t bring myself to write smut atm. ) xx
— fluff 🍰₊˚.༄ ೃ -
—❥ author’s note; My obsession with Meryl Streep keeps me sane during all those exams I have atm… Again, I’m so sorry for not posting my requests but I tried finishing them all but when I read them again they were so insanely bad, I can’t upload them… I will rewrite them probably next weekend (if I have enough time). But thanks for sticking around although I’m not as active (which will change in a few weeks, when I’ve finished my finals).
..⃗.🕊•̩̩͙⁺⤾·˚ ༘ ◡̈ ꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:・゚˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ ✧˖*°࿐
🏷 tag list; @paulawand , @pearplate
The sun was already burning down when Donna found out about her daughter's plans for the afternoon. Apparently, Sophie decided to host a speed dating for her mother in some restaurant on the island. She wasn’t interested in the first place but for the sake of her daughter, Donna decided to give it a try - maybe she’ll find the love of her life? It wasn’t until both mother and daughter arrived at the chosen restaurant when the older woman started worrying about what’s to come behind those doors. The few birds that gathered on the windowsill started chirping as if they were trying to warn her, „don’t go in!” but it seemed too late for that. „I don’t know if this is the right thing Soph,” Donna lurked through the window, seeing a couple of older guys waiting eagerly for someone to entertain them. „It’s gonna be fun Mum, just let it happen,” and with the huge smile spread over the young girl's face, she pushed the door open. Quickly the smell of food surrounded both women.
Only a couple of women were interested in dating as well, everyone was already sat on separate tables only waiting for the main host to start the thing. On the first look, none of these men caught her eye, none of them looked attractive. However, who was she to judge? Said and done, Donna took a seat opposite of a man with full fair hair and glasses. The two minutes started in which they were supposed to get to know each other.
You were sat in the corner of the restaurant, observing the show you were offered from afar. The people, including the owner, were making a fuss about the speed dating someone had arranged. You had moved to the island just a couple of months ago and though such things as speed dating were a pretty common thing in England, it seemed to be hardly a thing around here. Chewing on a shrimp, you wanted to hold back the laughter when you saw the angelic-looking woman’s face when one of the guys seemingly told her an interesting fact about him. She didn’t look very happy with the selection of men. Luckily you had an amazing view of the ocean and you could watch the sun gleaming on the water.
For every passing minute, Donna regretted the decision she made. The first guy was as dull as his name, Tom had 15 cats. He told her a story of when a few of his cats got sick and vomited in his flat. It was a full-on ramble for two minutes not letting his opponent get to word for once. Donna wasn’t sure if she had control of her face, but if she wasn’t at least the guy knew how horrible he was. The next one - didn’t even introduce himself - was shy. So shy that he only stared down on his fingers. Therefore when Donna made the first move and told him a little about her life, he could only nod and blankly stare a hole into the hotel owner.
Sunken in a daydream, you scribbled something in your notebook hoping the words would turn into poems. When you first came to the island you had hoped to overcome the ongoing writer's block, but until now not even the alluring landscape could change that. It ever so often occurred that your eyes landed on the woman with the golden locks not sure if it’s because of how dissatisfied she looked or if it’s her that captured you. Often you came to this restaurant to get the words flowing or to talk to the owners. They have been welcoming from the first moment, so you decided to go there again and again until it became the only restaurant you’d go to.
Meanwhile, Donna was meeting the fourth guy that wanted to meet her. It seemed to be a better start than the rest of the guys, he wasn’t perfect but neither was he as self-centered as the ones before. Their conversation was good until he dropped the 'women belong in the kitchen’ bomb. It ruined everything for her. „Alright people, we’re gonna take a short break so everyone can let the impressions sink in,” Sophie quickly interrupted when she saw how uncomfortable her mother felt. Each of the participants got up and walked out on the terrace or ordered drinks from the bar. Donna scoffed and buried her head in her hands. „This is awful,” it was only a whisper but audible to her daughter. „I’m sorry, I really thought that you’re gonna have fun,” the girl replied. Without another word the woman got up and wanted to walk a few steps to stretch the tense muscles in her leg when she spotted you sitting in the corner of the room.
She took small steps to reach your table, she was curious about what you were doing there all alone scribbling in your notebook. At first, you didn’t notice her coming towards you, but when you did she seemed as if a halo would enlighten her. The notebook was closed in an instant when you realized that you were the aim she was about to reach. „Hi” you greeted her with a wide smile. „Hello, I noticed you sitting all alone,” it was obvious that Donna searched for an opportunity to escape the dating hell her daughter had organised. You saw in how deep of misery the woman was. „Would you like to sit with me for a while?” you requested and pointed at the chair opposite of you. The noise in the overfilled restaurant was deafening so the blonde woman didn’t bother using words and just pulled out a chair. „You don’t know in how many ways you just saved me,” she smirked and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. You blushed but tried to hide it while leaning your face in both of your hands.
„I saw you’ve been busy over there, isn’t speed dating fun?” you teased not knowing if it was alright to overstep this line. „They’re all abhorrently boring and irritating,” the woman huffed and throws a disapproving look at the crowd of men. You couldn’t help but stifle a laugh, you’ve never had the problem with weird men. „I’m Y/n by the way,” you reached out your hand which she gladly shook. „Nice to meet you, my name’s Donna.” Even her name sounded angelic. The woman’s company brought you joy and even ideas for new poems came to your mind. „You could stay here until it’s over, I don’t mind,” you suggested avoiding eye contact, fearing rejection. „I’d love to,” it sounded like heaven to you. Therefore she stayed and every time you looked at her, you hated to avert your gaze the next second. Although Donna seemed to enjoy herself, the men on the other side of the room looked as if they were disappointed that she left. „One of their cats vomited in their flat,” she told you rolling her eyes. „Aww, I love cats but without the vomiting,” you giggled and tried to find out who it was by just scanning them. „It’s the blond one,” she pointed at a tall, skinny guy. „Oh yes, he absolutely looks like a cat guy,” you remarked dryly not averting your gaze from the giraffe-like man.
Sophie saw her mother sitting with you, smiling and giggling sometimes. She didn’t dare to make her comeback and go through another round.
„Would you like something to eat while you’re waiting for this to be over?” you asked shyly. „Actually, yes! I’ve been starving since we’ve come here and the conversations I’ve had didn’t make it go away,” Donna explained and bit down her lip. You waved for Elias, a waiter, for her to order. You’ve been exploring the island with him a couple of times and learned that he would rather like to work on the mainland as a teacher than work at his parent's restaurant. The food was served in less than ten minutes and she hummed while eating. „This has to be the best one I’ve eaten yet,” Donna declared while putting the cutlery on her plate.
Donna admired you for your kindness of letting her stay with you, she was lost in the eyes of yours and how your y/h/c hair was blown from the wind from time to time. The opened window offered her a marvellous view on the deep blue ocean. She felt safe in your company and the stories you’d told her about your future plans captured her. „Then why have you decided to come to Kalokairi when you plan on becoming a writer?” the older woman curiously asked. „Well, I had a very severe writers block and wanted to be surrounded by nature and I’ve a lot about this place in tourist guides so I decided to come here to get my writing flowing,” you explained. „Oh I’m sorry, I hope you’ve overcome it by now.” „I think I just did,” you cheekily replied. Unknowingly that your time was up by now, Sophie strutted over to the both of you.
„Mum, I’m sorry to interrupt but we’re done,” the young girl smiled while looking at you. „I’d really like to do this again,” Donna circled with her finger on the table, „I’ll just give you my address and you can come over some time.” Donna scribbled something on a napkin and handed it to you. You tried to hide the huge smile that was about to form on your lips. „Thanks, I’d also love to repeat this,” your whisper was barely audible. Donna just winked before leaving with her daughter, she was gone and left you with butterflies in your stomach. That day you’re writers block seemed to be gone and you were finally able to bring some words on paper.
»As I sat and looked at her and the rolling hills she sat upon I thought, what amazing luck I have that the world had created such beautiful things and given me the eyes to see them.« *
At first, you’ve been too afraid to drop that little poem off at her house, but when you gathered enough courage you just went for it. It was only when you arrived that you realised she was managing a hotel. You quickly dropped it off with your phone number written on it, not brave enough to give it to her in person. The following hours consisted of you having almost a nervous breakdown not wanting to receive rejection again. You had enough of that for a lifetime. Was she even interested in that way or was she just being nice? It took her until the next morning to get back to you, but when she did, it brought your heart to quiver.
She invited you over for a walk along the coastline by sunset. Whenever Donna laughed, it felt as if the world was changing for the better, and she smiled like a goddess. When the sun was almost gone and barely visible, it made the whole island shimmer in a shade of magenta. The older woman seemed as if she took a liking to you, that’s when you realised the arm sneaked around you. It was that day when you never wanted to leave Kalokairi or the high you’ve been on since you first saw her.
—♡︎
Over the weeks you two had somehow developed an unspoken romantic relationship, none of you were brave enough to talk about the strong feelings in between. When Donna wasn’t busy working in the Hotel, you did almost everything together, sat by the beach while you used her as your muse for writing or you two cuddled on the couch.
You had sent your work to a publisher in New York when you had gathered a few more poems and one night you received an email. They actually wanted you in New York, the head of the company wanted to meet you first and if everything goes well he wanted to offer you a contract and an apartment in which you could get your words flowing. Although that sounded like a dream to you, so surreal and perfect to be true, your true new home was the island and the mere thought about leaving was too much. That’s why you didn’t tell Donna. You weren’t sure if this was the right time or if she’d even care.
„Why did they have to leave her out, just because she couldn’t pay for the country club?” the thing you loved about her, was that she always commented on the movies you watched. „It seems unfair to me,” you added and snuggled closer. You were partly on your laptop to check your mails for a confirmation on an order you placed. She was holding you close while her head was resting on yours. It was the smell of the ocean that comforted you and made your eyelids heavy. You had never stayed overnight at her house because you didn’t know if that was alright for her, so you fought against tiredness. Few strands of her hair slightly covered your eyes which only caused you to give in to your exhaustion more.
The steady sound of the movie and her beating heart made you even more tired until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. A comforting wave of sleep hit you and soon you were comforted in a dream. It wasn’t until the woman you’d fallen asleep on moved abruptly, that you woke up. „Ouch,” you murmured and your head jolted in an upward direction. „I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you,” Donna sounded weird but you brushed it off due to the late hour. „Don’t worry, is everything alright?” you then asked while straightening your back. Only a light hum was a response to your question, she then focused on the movie again. Minutes passed and your eyelids started to feel like cement. „Okay, you know what? It’s not okay. I know going through your things wasn’t right, but your laptop was open and I’ve seen the email from the publisher and internally I’m going mad and-“
„Stop,” it was a short but loud enough interruption of her rambling. Donna's eyes grew wide. „I don’t mind if you’re going through my things, but before you assume something you could’ve asked me, because I wasn’t planning on going,” you didn’t want to snap in that way. Only a regretful „Oh..” broke the uncomfortable silence. You felt bad for speaking to her in that tone. „I’m sorry but I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, I just found you.” A small but proud smile formed on your lips, maybe the feelings were mutual. „I’m not going anywhere,” you quietly replied. Both of you started staring at the screen of the tv again, wordlessly. „Y/n?”
You hummed in response. „I think I love you.” „You think?” you laughed, „because I might love you too.” Her hands quickly found your face and pulled you in her direction, „Is that alright?” A slight nod confirmed and Donna’s lips found yours. They moved against yours in sync and that’s when you first noticed how soft they were, she tasted like peach and lavender. „Your hair’s so soft,” she mumbled when she stopped for air, after that Donna quickly found your lips again. „And your cute when you’re all worried,” you added when you gasped for air.
That night you stayed with Donna and fell asleep cuddling her. She wore a blue pyjama with puppies all over it, you were gushing over how adorable she looked.
—♡︎
„Come on we’re going to be late for the ferry if you don’t hurry up,” Donna rushed past you to turn off the kitchen lights. „Yeah yeah don’t rush me or I’m never gonna finish,” you replied and closed your suitcase. You were going home for your father's birthday and they wanted to meet the woman that you couldn’t stop talking about. „Ready?” „Yes.” Donna stretched out her hand for you and pulled you after her. „I hope they’ll like me,” she pondered while loading the suitcases in the trunk. „They will absolutely love you, trust me,” you said and helped her closing up.
The ferry was crowded as usual and you two barely had enough space so Donna demanded you to sit on her lap. „I hope we’re gonna catch our flight,” the woman mumbled and nervously checked her wristwatch. „Don’t sweat it, we’re gonna make it on time it’s still early,” you cackled, knowing that she was nervous. The ferry sailed over the water just as gracefully as a bull in a china shop. When the ferry reached the mainland, Donna and you quickly rushed to a cab and drove to the nearest airport. The sky was flawlessly blue, not a cloud could be seen.
Not a lot of people decided to fly to England on that day, you could count 17 people at the checkpoint. In the meantime Donna was a nervous wreck, the woman constantly fidgeted with the keychains. „Ew your hands are sweaty,” you joked when you took hers in yours, „don’t be afraid, I’m with you the whole time.” Donna forced a smile on her face then followed you on the airplane. It wasn’t a long flight, maybe four or five hours. The start was a rough patch, Donna’s anxiety of flying was at its highest and she was seemingly about to throw up. Luckily you could talk her down and she soon fell asleep.
Arriving in London Southend, which was close to your parent's house, your girlfriend's nerves seemed to be calmed and you almost thought she’d taken something. „Let’s get out of here, my brother’s gonna pick us up,” you declared as both of you got your luggage. „He’s very much into cars and all that stuff, so if he’s annoying you just tell him to shut up, I do this every time.” „Oh I hope it’s not getting too complicated so that I can keep up,” she stifled a laugh and cheerily followed you along to the exit. As usual, your brother couldn’t shut up about the new cars he is about to tune, but luckily the ride was only about 40 minutes.
Your father was fascinated by Donna, the two of them got along quite well and even your mother seemed to approve of your choice this time. There have been a few women she wasn’t fond of, almost hated them and in retrospect, she was right about them. As it got darker outside, your father's guests said their goodbyes and left one by one until only the five of you were left at the table. „We’re gonna go to bed, it’s getting late and I’ve got work tomorrow,” your father declared and clapped his hands on both of his legs before getting up. „Yeah me too,” your brother said.
„Wanna sit in front of the fireplace for a while?” you asked as all of them were gone. „Absolutely.” „Thanks for coming, I was afraid you wouldn’t like my family because of how crazy they are sometimes,” you whispered when you draped a blanket over the both of you. „They’re all lovely people, I’m happy they don’t seem to hate me,” Donna joked. „They don’t, they love you but maybe not as much as I do,” you sweet-talked. Her finger booped your nose before she planted a quick kiss on your forehead. „Can I hold your hand?” she quietly asked. You nodded, feeling her soft palms against yours was enough to make you feel safe. While you sat there watching the fire die out, the grip around Donna got tighter, fearing she’d be gone as soon as the sun rises. But she wasn’t, she was still there in the morning and the morning after and so on. You were happy with her, happier than you would’ve imagined.
* used a poem from atticus
#sapphic#fanfiction#fanfic#wlw love#x reader imagines#imagines#donna sheridan x reader#meryl streep x reader#meryl streep#mamma mia#mamma mia imagine#donna sheridan#donna sheridan imagine#love is love#wlw#middle aged actresses#lgbtqia#lgbtq+#gay#lesbian#bisexual
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Ok I lied and am back
So I will post one more time here this year as I was asked about it on my coding blog and just direct them to here. I was asked what I ACTUALLY DID back then and here is that list.
I DID go to a theme hunter blog and picked one of the themes they had reblogged to use as a template for Sequence’s original theme. I then proceeded to completely and utterly redo the entire theme. See, it was the first time I made an RP on tumblr and I figured I could do what you do on jcink. Take a theme (they call them skins there) and completely remake it basically just using the original as the ‘skeleton’ or framework as it were. I then transferred coding from the original Sequence RP which again was on jcink YEARS before any of these other RPs were even a twinkle in their creators’ eyes. Had to rewrite a lot of it as it wasn’t friendly with tumblr. I show the original theme for tumblr Sequence and the Jcink Sequence are almost a 1 for 1 recreation just changed a few things to fit a tumblr heavy aesthetic but with the flair of jcink coding design. Raven tried to claim I had stolen her theme and just put my graphics or something over it. But then later says I took a theme, removed the credit, and then.... put it back later? Then later said I never did that, I did just in fact take her them. In truth, I hadn’t removed the credit. I had accidently merged it with the [pagination] coding. Once I noticed it and separated the two their credit which was in the top of the code for the theme itself all fancy and huge had again begun showing up on the main as well. The theme maker had been asked if It was their theme and they replied by saying it had their credit, the coding of one of their themes but looked completely and utterly different and they weren’t claiming it as their own theme. When I later spoke to the theme maker I explained what happened and they told me it was best I remove their credit anyway as it was no longer the theme they made and added a rule to not alter their themes to that extent for the future.
I DID create/transfer Sequence to tumblr out of spite. I HATED that such places like ALR and WOTNA could pull the crap they pulled on me and just get away scott free. So, I took my old RP which was a big hit on Jcink and brought it over. Took nearly a year to edit the theme and modernize the lore. I wanted to sprinkle in bits and pieces from not only the inFAMOUS series, but Mega Man, Deus Ex, and Mirror’s Edge. All to add flavor to my already established but admittedly old (and thus I was kind of tired of it) world. I also took the tried old troupe of ‘mega evil company vs rebels against it’ that ALL original abilities RPs were using back then and made it morally grey. There was no clear ‘bad’ or ‘good guys’ All factions save the ‘neutral everyday people’ one took actions and had motivations that were good and bad. It was a mix of ‘good and evil is how you choose to see it’ and ‘does the ends justify the means?’ Although I can no longer remember the exact quote. One from Xenosaga that basically says there is no good or evil just shades of grey and it is humans that made up the very concepts of good or evil. Also inspired that choice. Apparently, this troupe no matter how I altered it was a ‘stolen unique and essential part’ of a couple of those other RPs.
I DID use the word ‘jihad’ when explaining Raven’s assault against my, my RP and my members. As they attacked me with the furiousness of a person that was as crazed and fanatical as a religious zealot. As I understood the word, it was used as a word for religious wars in the middle east. If I was wrong back then I apologize for using it. However, I don’t know how that instantly branded me a racist by Raven. Or how, that then got twisted into apparently having a run in with a muslim RP I denied instead then, made a racist rant about on the main, then harassed for days. Although, there was ZERO evidence of this anywhere, no person turned up claiming this, it wasn’t anywhere in the main EVER, and the only screen shot of anything which was quickly buried was when I said ‘raven needs to stop her jihad against me’ so..... yeah..... crazy people going to crazy and make shit up I guess.
I DID employ someone named Sam as my co-admin. In my defense, Sam was only ever nice to me, I only had great threads and some chats with Sam during the brief time our paths crossed on WOTNA. I had absolutely no idea the drama this person had made while there, what they were spreading after leaving, or that they would use their position as my co-admin to taunt and attack WOTNA. This person used mads mikkelsen exculsively and had drama with what appeared as half the WOTNA member base. As well as storylines of SA, and other dark topics. She also heavily trolled that RP after she left it, during her time on mine, and when they let her return as the admin said something that pissed her off and she was going to ‘burn that place to the fucking ground.’ After learning of this, I cut ties with her completely.
I DID have a past with Raven. After leaving WOTNA and recovering. I found Elswood and attempted to join it. Long story short. I was denied multiple times because and I quote ‘you used a comma where you should have used a semicolon.’ Checking with my advanced LIT teacher and her confirming the comma was the write choice, I could tell where that was going. Raven ultimately denied my app a couple of more times for similar ‘incorrect’ minor grammar uses (they were correct though). However, she then permitted a friend to make a character with my same face claim, same power, same back story, same personality, and even the same app. The only differences were if I had a line like ‘Having grown up in New York City’ their EXACT SAME LINE IN THE APP would read ‘New York City had been where he was born and raised.’ I got pissed and little kid me blasted her as a grammar nazi and letting a friend steal my character. Thought it went unheard... clearly it had not.
I DID have an affiliations page at one point. I know this was a ‘rumor’ as raven reported it like two days after I made it but it got quickly deleted and spun I only made it to get any kind of ‘any publicity is good publicity’ way. Truth is, I had one, and I had reached out to five or six RPs at the time. Three of them had confirmed they would be adding my button and I was on like 4 or 5 of those RPs. However, I received messages from them stating that multiple people had begun to harass them. The messages at first ‘warned them’ of me but when they didn’t reply, they turned ugly. Feeling bad that I had made Raven and her minions attack these groups. I told them to remove my button or link from their affiliations and make a statement that they weren’t affiliated with me. I’d leave the groups if they wanted me to as well as I know they’ll harass them even harder if they found out I was on them. All but two groups decided to do that #yourockgrimstonelake I can’t really remember the other group.
I DID attempt self deletion because of all this. First when I left WOTNA because the stuff they were doing and saying hit a spot that my own father always beat on since I was a kid. The whole ‘you’re a failure, no one likes you, you’ll always fail without me.’ type spot. I couldn’t handle it, I stopped taking my medication, I stopped eating, drinking, and it got bad. It again happened a couple of weeks after Raven’s assault of Sequence. This was an RP that I spent a near year rebuilding for tumblr with plans to release pages, themes, and other codes for people to use signify them as a member. Plans to open a coding help blog where I would both produce my own themes and pages as well as help with those that the makers long abandoned that people still wanted to use but needed fixes or modern updates for. Ultimately, it got to me and I more actively and now have scars from the attempt, tried to self delete. I had to make my friend Jake who I had convinced to move from jcink to tumblr cover as me for a while. All the time these sick psychopaths spread their lies and made up more about me, laughed at me, and were actually sending messages to self delete. Of course, apparently, that was fine and is a part of this story people to this day ignore and some, even feel justified in pushing me to that point.
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More rambling
There’s more!!!! (Both dossiers and voicemail/email)
I want the world to know that I was hoping that Sova’s name was Alexander bc i like the nickname Sasha for him. But the fact that’s his actual name is :))) I think i’m right abt a few things and that some of my past writing and hc’s were wrong so under the keep reading if you want :))
Btw, I do come at this from a writing perspective for what i would like to write and how I analyze their character, so I hope I’m not just regurgitating the facts as we see them (this post is v long btw, i’m sorry)
Killjoy
I mean I think she fits what I thought she was. We know she’s young but already was highly touted by Kingdom for her inventions and her knowledge.
I figured that it was her inventions behind Kingdom tech, both helpful... and not.
But she was a young girl who likely enjoyed the attention and praise and I personally would never fault her for that. The Blackmailer calling her ignorant.. .well, she was. I thought I knew it all at 18 but not even close.
She seems to understand that she engineered a lot of what can kill people on the field from her voicelines, but takes it jovially. Either she’s suppressing the thoughts of how bloody her hands are, or she genuinely hasn’t put too much thought on it. I could see it going either way, and both would be interesting angles to write her.
Side note... why is she the only one who’s parents are mentioned by name? Breach’s family was brought up but not called out by first name. Now, that’s a different issue considering it’s his family name and legacy that stands out, but still. I wonder why they’re important or is it just there to scare her?
Cypher
Nora is his daughter!!! (clap on the back for me :)) ) But she’s alive which is... :))
Time to write a family fic
But man really got exposed. Safehouses, like the blackmailer mentioned, will probably be left behind. There’s not much else to him and I think that’s either because he still managed to hide most his secrets and work from them, or because there’s a little bit of cruelty there. Why reveal something else when you have his daughters name?
And poor Nora... does that mean she has never seen his face? because he “considered” revealing his face... does that mean he has never seen his daughter eye to eye?
Skye
I love how the blackmailer started with a failed project name. Cut deep early, you know? But those places are all around Australia.
Great reclaimer... is she reclaiming nature and land back from kingdom? It seems that it’s the thought of a corporate entity that upsets her, not the name Kingdom itself.
I genuinely still wonder about the difference between Kingdom and Valorant. I’m starting to lean towards they are separate and VP buys their stuff from kingdom? OR secret funding and the agents don’t know where it’s coming from. OR the threat of no radianite is genuinely a bigger threat to them than Kingdom.
I feel like Skye, like many others, would get pissed at the blackmailer, not necessarily fear them. But she still needs to save the environment from something, and I think this might up her internal clock a little.
Breach :))
So... I got his backstory wrong... I might go in and rewrite a little.
Erik :))) (I clearly have faves lmao)
Sounds like he was caught as an adult, or at the very least not a minor. He was old enough to “fight back”
Stockholm Radianite reserve... kinda self explanatory for what he was after lol. Grothenburg Job is more ambiguous, but one of those is pictured on his T9 player card. I’d guess Grothenburg bc that cube didn’t look like radianite to me.
What happened in Salvador? Likely when he met Raze... but what was there, and why did it add to his notoriety? My guess is the two of them teaming up to take down some Kingdom building since he has that voiceline on split i think where he talks about teaming up with Raze again.
But this was a boy with a congenital defect. In his own family, he was either raised as an extra, passed over or babied due to his arm, or, more likely in my opinion, they forced him to learn how to do all the things they did but without arms. Or with prosthetics.
But he was likely overlooked in a lot of jobs in his family growing up, then the judge doesn’t even treat him as one of his families. This man has a history of being tossed aside and and seen as weaker/less capable. “I always have to overprove myself” is kind of a sad line.
And now that he’s done, he’s hidden then was found by VP, he’s earned his legacy and lived up to his family name, he can’t go home. It makes you wonder what is Home and why does he want to go back? Is his family there? Does he have friends that he misses? Or is it just the town/city that he grew up in? It’s an interesting thing to consider. That this big, tough guy with a hardened criminal background longs for something he can’t have.
I’ve come close to guessing him. Like one of my stories is based around something called the Core and Breach found that so he was hunted and that’s why he went into hiding... idk i’ve come close but never actually guessed it.
Sova <3
My love :))
I already said what I did abt what i wanted his name to be.
“never” miss a shot... It’s a huge expectation/reputation to try and live up to.
But the one time he did miss... Was it to himself? “I let you go once before.” Is a line he says to his mirror self. It could also be the time he lost his eye. Or sometime in his past. Maybe letting a target get away either bc of a mistake or because he let them go. I choose to believe the latter if it comes down to that.
“Despite Denial” What does that mean? As in he insists that he’s perfect?.
I’ve talked about what it must’ve meant for him to lose an eye when his whole thing is a marksman/archer. What would it mean for him to fail? Legacy is such a strange thing to me. And I never expected it to be related to Sova. It’s a new angle i have to see him in and that’s interesting.
Idk if this proves or disproves my special ops then into mercenary theory. Because Brimstone says “rest, soldier” when he kills sova and no one else (I swear the wiki is wrong on this one)
Otherwise... i don’t have much to say abt him surprisingly.
The punctuation confuses me. Is it “Filin, Brother of steel and string”, or did they mean for that to be a period? Maybe english isn’t their fiirst language and i shouldn’t judge lol.
Filin was the name of a Russian ballerina. My only thought is maybe he was called that because of how graceful he was with the bow and arrow? (String part of Steel and string)
Neon
So she wants control over something, likely her powers and her life? Since we know she struggled with powering the portal, and something about her father’s tech started with her.
It’s def not the direction i thought she would go in with her character arc.
Side note, does Zyanya = Reyna?
Not much else on her at the moment. It makes me wonder about the control the item on her back does to her. Reyna made it sound like it dampened her powers... did it come from her dad? If so, why was he trying to curb her power? to harness it or to stop her from destroying something?
Voicemail and Email
First off, my shippy brain is happy bc Sova compliments Breach :))
Breach is good at “extraction” i could hear the apostrophe lmao. Likely heists.
That’s such a bad team comp tho... like in game wise: Sova, Breach, Chamber, Neon, and Cypher. (this was just my thought)
I offhandedly mentioned that I think Brimstone will recruit the blackmailer, and I might be right. Because Cypher would like to kill them, but Brim’s morals won’t allow him to cold execute him. Sova will listen to Brimstone because he will always follow the command of his captain. I could see Breach and cypher having trouble holding themselves back.
And they need scouts... kinda like those places that hire ppl who can hack into their network This person has proven their skill.
kk end of rant. I need to re outline a few of my stories lol. Might even write a couple one shots with this new info.
Overall I think I understood what a few of their backstories were like in terms of the fact that i could kind of piece together their personality through their voicelines... but in terms of specifics... man was i wrong LOL
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