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bigfrozenfan-fanfics · 2 years ago

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Chapter 58 - Sum of fears

Links: Chapter overview, Character list, Map, Glossar Rating: M over all Publishing cycle: each Friday at 6:00 pm CEST dst/UTC +2:00 on (link)

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The guardroom of the royal guard was a sparsely furnished room that the guards just led Wael into, long and with two deep openings in the west wall that gave a view of the fjord. On the walls were holders for all kinds of weapons, pieces of armour and shelves of other paraphernalia. At one end of the room, next to a table, a wide wooden staircase led upwards; at the other end was a rough wooden table with a few chairs around it. There they set Wael down, and he huddled in his chair, shaking all over. He paid little attention to the guards around him, who eyed him intently, instead he let his life pass before his inner eye and was increasingly shocked by it. What had he achieved so far since he had moved to Arendelle a few years ago?

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A few days after his arrival, he had been very lucky and found a good job in the capital's newspaper office. Through his tireless efforts in the following years and his sense of responsibility, he was able to rise quickly among the other employees and was given the privilege of informing the city about the exclusive events at the castle. Not to mention that luck and his great interest in the queen's magic were also involved in this promotion. A few years ago, the events of Nattmara enabled him to get closer to the royal family and gain the respect and ultimately the trust of Queen Elsa and her sister Anna. And now he had thoroughly messed everything up and, on top of that, the blood of innocent soldiers was also sticking to his hands! Tears of regret ran down his face, over his failure and over the fact that he had made himself guilty solely out of craving for recognition.

So many mistakes, so many wrong decisions; he thought to himself. If I hadn't sought Thord out, he wouldn't know anything about Kolgrimr and his evil plans. He had me wrapped around his finger with the story of his clan and I didn't notice until the slaughter began. None of it would have happened. No one would have died so brutally. No one would have been kidnapped. The crops would not have been destroyed and the homes of the poor peasants would never have been burned down. I am the one to blame. I alone! Me!

Perhaps it would have been better if Thord's minions had hit me with their daggers and I had died for my transgressions. I really deserved it!

Wael heard the tower clock strike six times and shortly after the door opened and a handful of men from the royal guard entered. He lifted his head and wiped the tears from his eyes to see better. They looked beat, and curious questions from those present assailed them. Moments later, Wael realized that these soldiers were part of the rescue party up on the farmland. As they changed their uniforms, they finally told all the details of their mission and were so busy that they didn't even notice Wael in the corner. They covered every detail! How they recovered the dead bodies, how few survivors they found in the end and how desolate it now looked up there in the daylight. Wael sobbed softly and buried his face in his hands. He had only one wish left ... if only he could be dead now.

~~~

Kolgrimr was only an hour away from the camp and many thoughts were running through his head. Behind him followed the still will-less twenty men of the noaidi and the two fully loaded horse-drawn carts with the hostages and the captured food on them. He probed their minds. They were frightened, but also looked curiously at the wilderness they had never seen with their own eyes before. The adults wondered what they were going to do with them and the mothers' worries about their children were dominant.

He had to be careful with the next step of his plan, because the potion's effect on the men would not last much longer. He could feel it. Moreover, he relied on Thord arriving with his men in time to settle into the old Arendellier camp and play the future chaperones after his men behind him would remember nothing. So he increased his riding speed and hoped that everything would go smoothly. Some things he didn't have entirely under control and slowly he doubted if it was really a good idea to get an alliance with Thord. At least as far as the weapons depot was concerned, it had been a happy coincidence.

~~~

Thord's ship was anchored with reefed sails in the left arm of the Odinfjord, and in addition to the ship's crew, his nearly forty men were also on board to help with the simpler tasks on the ship. They were his pledge of support for Kolgrimr's plan, and he hoped that it would ultimately help him to the throne of Arendelle. He stood in the bow of his gaff sailer, a two-masted, sleek schooner, and kept watch for his two men, who were supposed to return with Wael around this time. But so far there was nothing to be seen of the Seagull and he had not too much time left, if he wanted to reach the Northuldra area at sunset to meet Kolgrimr there, as agreed. And that was exceedingly important.

Behind him, the ship's bell was rung and he suddenly remembered how, as a child, he stood at this very spot of the Jarl's Pride by his father's side and he told him about the trading voyages to other lands. But those days were long gone and the small crew of five was now mainly concerned with the upkeep of the hundred and fifty year old ship. The condition of the Jarl's Pride was accordingly still very good and it was absolutely seaworthy. Thord was proud that he was now the schooner's skipper.

Slowly he grew impatient and a bit nervous, but eventually one of the sailors finally reported a small sailboat ahead. Shortly after, the Seagull finally moored alongside the hull and two men climbed aboard. However, to Thord's great disappointment, they had returned without Wael's escort and, moreover, their clothes were dripping onto the deck planks. Their long coats were missing.

“What the hell happened to you guys and where damn it is Wael?” he shouted loudly at the two.

Hauk and Tryggr winced and looked at each other briefly before taking turns describing what had happened.

Thord was quite furious, especially at Wael, whom he had probably misjudged after all. Maybe he shouldn't have threatened him with the possible consequences so clearly? But now it was definitely too late. Kolgrimr's assessment that Wael was just a pants-shitter was now unfortunately proven true.

“Does that mean you didn't see him hand the envelope to the captain of the guard? And how was it possible for you two to miss him at such close range? I thought you guys were experts with the throwing knives.”

“It was pure luck! On the first attempt Wael slipped and then the captain pulled him behind the gate in a flash. We both missed him by a hair's breadth,” Hauk said.

“But even if he doesn't hand it over himself, they will surely search him after this incident, and then they will find the envelope,” Tryggr added.

“I hope so for both of you. You two had only one task and you screw it!” barked Thord. “Now get out of my sight and put on something dry below deck!”

“Yes, Your Highness. But I'm afraid there is something else to report, Prince Thord! Last night there was a vicious raid on the farmland. There were not only deaths among the inhabitants, but also some kidnapped persons! Moreover, the houses there were set on fire and parts of the harvest were destroyed. The town was in a frenzy when we disembarked,” Hauk said.

This report made Thord think. He nodded thoughtfully and then waved the two impatiently away. The men bowed humbly and trolled off. Thord pondered. This must have happened shortly after they rode back. But what did Kolgrimr intend by this? Did he not trust the plan with the ultimatum? Should he rather wait and write another letter? But then he quickly discarded the thought, because he had to cast off now. He gave his boatswain the order to weigh anchor and set sail as he walked toward the quarterdeck and looked down at the Seagull, which was slowly moving away. The old skipper of the small sailing ship greeted him briefly as their eyes met.

A short time later, they left the fjord and turned west to Arenfjord. There was still a lot to discuss with Kolgrimr this evening, and Thord wondered if he would get clear answers to his questions from him.

~~~

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While Kristoff now walked to the guardroom to talk to Wael, Anna and Elsa decided to go back inside the castle. Myrtha came down the stairs just as they entered the reception hall and headed straight for Anna. Then she stopped in front of them and greeted them both with a slight bow.

“The injured peasant is feeling much better now and well enough for an audience with you,” she said to Anna, who then raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“An audience with me? One of the peasants is waiting for me?” she asked back, “Elsa, do you know anything about this?” But her sister just shook her head in equal surprise, and then both looked questioningly at Myrtha.

“Didn't Kristoff or Doctor Magnus mention anything about it?” she asked, confused. “His name is Erick and Kristoff picked him up on the road this morning. He's been in the doctor's patient room recovering from the rigors of the escape ever since.”

“That must have gotten lost in all the commotion today. All right, then lead us to him,” Anna returned with a sigh.

A little later the three of them were standing in front of Erick's bed and he was about to rise to greet the majesties properly. But he groaned with exertion and Myrtha hurried to him to help him sit up. She pushed two thick pillows behind his back, then he was ready to do so.

“Your Majesties, I am so honored to have you visit me in person to hear me out.” He humbly bowed his head to Anna and Elsa.

“That goes without saying, Erick. Unfortunately, we have just learned of your presence and are very curious to hear what you can tell us about the terrible events that occurred last night.”

“I was more fortunate than some of my immediate neighbors and survived the attack. But the attackers took my wife and daughter,” he began. “We had already been asleep and suddenly I was awakened by loud screams from the outside. When I looked out the window, the neighboring houses were already on fire and I saw strangers with long wooden sticks and knives fighting with my neighbors. I immediately woke up my family and ran downstairs with them to saddle the horses in my stable next door. But Kate, my wife preferred to hide in the basement and tried to keep me from going outside because of the danger.” Erick took a deep breath.

“Nevertheless, I was determined to keep my family safe in the woods, so I persuaded her of my idea and then we headed outside the house. Kate was close behind me with our child in her arms. Then, I noticed a very tall man in a dark fur coat in the torchlight. He stood one house away and observed at us, as if he already knew what we were up to ... and in the darkness in front of my house.” Erick's eyes grew moist.

“Next to him were three men in strange clothes and they suddenly turned and looked directly at us as well. I hadn't noticed anything about him pointing them out to us, they just seemed to know. Then they ran toward us with torches and their long sticks to prevent us from escaping. Unfortunately, they reached us just before the stable, and I fought back as hard as possible but had no chance. Then one of them knocked me to the ground and my eyes went black for a short time. When I pulled myself up again, the barn behind me was already burning and I heard the cries for help of my beloved wife and the screaming of my daughter in the distance. I ran, but could do nothing except look after the wagon with them and many others on it.”

Erick remembered the last moment when he saw his family, his wife and daughter on the wagon, reaching out to him for help. His emotions overwhelmed him anew and he began to sob heavily. Anna sat down next to him on the bed and took him in her arms, trying to comfort him as best she could.

Elsa's look showed sheer anger and she had clenched her fists. Myrtha looked sadly at the floor, for it was the first eyewitness account for her as well.

“Don't worry, Erick, nothing will happen to them. Kolgrimr will use them as leverage against us and won't hurt them until then. The hostages are too important to him for that main reason. Rest sure, we shall free them before any harm could happen to them. Your wife, Kate, and your daughter will come back to you safe and sound. On my Honor, I promise you, Erick,” Anna promised in a trembling voice. Then she stood up again. “You can stay here in the castle as long as you want and we will keep you informed. Be patient.”

As the sisters left the room, leaving only Myrtha behind, Anna held her stomach after a few feet. Elsa asked, “What's wrong?” but then she ran off and disappeared into the next bathroom on that floor. Elsa hurried after her after a second of surprise and stopped just behind the door as if rooted to the spot when she heard and also saw her sister throwing up.

After a few minutes Anna rose from the toilet and was chalky white in the face. Slowly she walked up to Elsa and the latter took her in an intimate embrace. She felt the trembling in her body.

“I never thought it would be so hard to be Queen of Arendelle, sis. This is all so terrible and I'm starting to feel like many citizens hate me. After barely a year of reigning. What have I done wrong, Elsa? I'm sure Mom and Dad wouldn't be very proud of me.” she said softly into her sister's ear.

“What are you talking about, Anna. You are a good queen, you are there for our people much more than I ever was. Our parents would be very proud of you. I believe in you, very much, sis. You... we can do this ... together, as promised!”

Anna lifted her head and looked at her.

“Thank you for being there for me ...”

“Gladly, I will always be there for you, Anna.”

~~~

Ikka and Joná found it increasingly boring in the castle. They had seen almost everything, talked to everyone here already, and unfortunately, by the queen's order, they could not go into the city to explore it further at the moment. So what to do; they asked themselves. They walked hand in hand out into the castle courtyard, looked at the interior of the chapel, and wondered at such a large and magnificent building that was undoubtedly dedicated solely to the religious beliefs of the people of Arendelle. After some time they left it again and went to the castle garden. There they sat down in the shade behind the big old willow tree.

“As soon as all the madness here is over and we can return home, I want to ask your parents for permission to marry you,” Joná suddenly confessed, and Ikka's mouth and eyes widened.

“You want to marry me?”

“Yes, because I love you and I want to spend my life with you. What do you think about that? Would you want to take me?”

“Would I take you?” She nudged him. “What a question! You bet I would!” Then she fell around his neck and they both tumbled backward into the flowerbed. They laughed and kissed passionately.

Ryder also entered the castle garden shortly after, with Indu in tow, because he had seen the two young Northuldra go in a few minutes ago and wanted to introduce them to Indu on this occasion. But when he saw them lying there so enamored, he paused with a grin. He took Indu by the shoulder and turned him around.

“Not exactly the right opportunity right now, Indu. They'd rather be among themselves right now. But you'll get to know everyone, for example at dinner. That should also taste much better than the rations you had in the cell. They can even make Renkok, just imagine.”

“Oh, I haven't had that in a long time. And you think I can just sit there, even though I was a prisoner just this morning?”

“I'd make sure of that, believe me,” Ryder promised, and they both laughed.

~~~

Kristoff was unsure what to expect. No one had ever personally wanted to speak to him on such an important and precarious matter. Especially not under such dubious circumstances. He did not know Wael very well, but had heard enough rumors from the capital residents about him, most people opted not to trust him in any circumstance. Wael was like a snake, devious and cunning. Arrogant and seemingly without limits in his disregard for empathy and tact. And now Wael was asking for him, of all people!

When Kristoff entered the guardroom, which he had hardly ever seen from the inside, he was confronted with a situation that did not quite fit his previous imagination. Wael was sitting in his chair, completely distraught and crying.

After a minute of consideration, Kristoff took a free chair and sat down across from him at the table. Somehow it was heartbreaking to see Wael like this, and he pondered what he would ask first.

“Mr. Wael ... you sent for me?”

No response.

“Wael, I'm here now ...”

After a long minute, Wael finally raised his head and slowly acknowledged His Highness before him.

“Your Highness. You have indeed come.”

Kristoff waited for his next words, but it took time.

“I ... don't know anymore ... I'm so sorry ... I ...”

Kristoff couldn't see through what Wael was actually talking about.

“You'll have to be a little clearer. Why did you want to talk to me, of all people?” said Kristoff. “Tell me ...”

“I can't ... it's so terrible ... they forced me.”

“Who forced you to do what? I don't understand.”

“The letter ...”

“Which letter?”

It took Wael a long time to move, and not only was Kristoff staring at him in expectation, but so were all the guards around him. It had become quiet as a mouse in the room. Wael thought about the consequences of handing over the ultimatum now; how much pain, suffering and death this single act would bring to the kingdom. After a few minutes, he reached into his pocket and a few of the guards rushed over to protect Kristoff from attack if necessary.

In the end, Wael did what Thord had forced him to do. He took out the envelope with the ultimatum and very slowly slid it across the table, over to Kristoff.

~~~

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Honeymaren had ridden toward the hill range that morning, having left the four monoliths behind her with Alena and Árnason in tow. A few days ago she had stood on the ridge south of here and seen a lake in the distance. Now she wanted to find it. It had to be quite hidden and was not visible from the main path or from here. She pondered over her two new companions. So far she had not talked much with them, but she wanted to do so as soon as she had found a new hiding place for herself. She heard them chatting behind her and occasionally heard her name come out. Curiosity about each other was clearly on both sides, but first it was essential to find a safe place.

After about an hour, she saw water glistening in the sun to her right and rode down between two low hills into a small, long valley. Shortly after, she saw the lake nestled between two increasingly steep mountain ranges.

Good hiding place and probably a good supply of fish; she thought and got off her reindeer a little later. Alena and Árnason did the same and knelt beside her to fill their water hoses with the crystal clear, cold water as well.

“Have we reached your hiding place soon?” he asked.

Honeymaren looked at him from the side with a grin as she bubbled the last of the air up from her water hose.

“Up there,” she gave him in reply, pulling the full bag out of the water and corking it as she nodded her head up to the right toward a well-wooded area.

There had to be a flat plain there. Well suited for setting up a comfortable camp and certainly not discoverable by anyone else by chance. From higher up, one would also have a very good overview of the whole area and the fjord on the other side. With the reindeer one could probably also get up there, she only had to find a safe path.

Honeymaren was about to ride off when she noticed a certain kind of seaweed on the shore of the lake that could be cooked. A healthy meal and also easily accessible. She fished out enough for everyone, let it drip off a bit, and then tied it onto her pack with the help of a string. There probably wasn't much hunting game here, so she would look for trout in the lake's tributary later in the day.

An hour later she found a relatively safe trail, or something that could be called a trail, that serpentined up the mountain. They had to lead the reindeer behind them, but eventually they stepped out among the low trees at the top onto a richly overgrown plain. There were enough mushrooms, moss and other plants growing here for the animals. The place was just perfect and after making a campfire and preparing the seaweed in the pot, there was finally enough time to talk in peace.

“So, tell me a little about the two of you,” Honeymaren said as she poked around in the fire to make sure it burned well and smoked little. “How do you know about this place you call sieidi, other than from your dreams, Alena?”

“Well, we had a visit about a week ago from someone who told us he was from here and was looking for support to defend his people. After careful consideration and with the approval of our elders, I finally granted him twenty men under certain conditions. He mentioned two names. Northuldra and Arendelle. You also mentioned that name at the sieidi, and I assume, judging from your clothing, that you are a Northuldra,” she explained.

“Yes, that is true, but what this man told you is the complete opposite. Kolgrimr has lied to you shamelessly and used you for his own purposes!”

Árnason's eyes widened as he heard this from the mouth of one of Kolgrimr's own people. Alena nodded thoughtfully.

“I already suspected it. Tell me more about him, Honeymaren.”

What Honeymaren then told over the next two hours startled her listeners. She left nothing out and also went into great detail in her descriptions. She ended at the moment when they finally met today and could now also explain what this fur doll was all about. Except for the time they all took to eat, she talked without stopping.

“I'm sorry for your loss,” Alena said sympathetically at the end.

Then, in return, she and Árnason told her their own stories of what they had experienced with Kolgrimr, and their previous suspicion and concerns about him. They also described their people, the many families with different backgrounds, about their annual, long, and dangerous commutes with the reindeer herds towards their winter and summer camps. But also of what they knew about the fled men from the far north, whom Kolgrimr was now abusing under pretext for his own personal agenda.

The sun had already traveled half its path when they ended up sitting silently across from each other, each of them thinking about all that had been said. Árnason found Honeymaren increasingly interesting and could not take his eyes off her. Honeymaren was glad to have met Alena and now knew more about these men. Alena's main concern was the twenty men she gave Kolgrimr, which the young Northuldra had not mentioned during her night raid. Amazing that one woman alone could trick so many men and this noaidi. But then where were her men, who were supposed to watch over the camp exclusively. Finally, Alena voiced what was on everyone's mind as well, Kolgrimr's ability to read thoughts and feelings.

“I guess I'm the only one here, besides your brother Ryder, who can't sense Kolgrimr. But then that also means that you and my apprentice here can't accompany me to the sieidi. He would sense you there as soon as he returned. Which will probably be soon, I suppose. It takes us about four hours there and back, plus the time for my trance journey, so I'll have to go there alone.”

“Are you really sure about your decision? I think you're taking an unnecessarily big risk with that, Alena,” Honeymaren said.

“Yes, I'm pretty sure. Simply everything points to it, which is why I also sent Árnason on a long journey, so that Kolgrimr would not learn anything about our conversations and my suspicions through him. All in all, I was probably right and I wonder what happened to the men of my people in the meantime. What did he do to them? Oh, and one more thing ... can I see his noaidi mother's drum and shawl once?”

“Sure thing,” Honeymaren agreed, taking the items out of her luggage.

“Interesting,” Alena said as she studied everything carefully, especially the dream symbols on the drum. “Really fitting.”

“Why? What do you mean by that?”

“Gyda has apparently walked a very dark path in the spiritual planes during her life. She seems to be as bitter and evil as her son. I suppose she must have helped him for a long time, probably also with sense-altering potions of various kinds. Who knows what he used that for. It was very clever of you to take the drum away from her. So now she has a very hard time seeing into the future for him. And as for the scarf, that's probably the last and only piece that still remembers her as a good and innocent person.”

“That reminds me, when I reached his camp here at night, I saw a moon that was colored blood red and except for a few men with my own people, his camp was completely empty. I fear that Kolgrimr has not only abused his men for a terrible act of blood, but yours as well, Alena. Perhaps he somehow gave them such a potion?” wondered Honeymaren.

“I honestly wouldn't be surprised, now that I know everything. He must be stopped, that much is certain. But to do that, I must make contact with the spirit of Ahtohallan. I have a feeling that the solution to all problems lies there.”

After a small debate, they decided not to leave the hiding place for the time being and to wait and see how everything would develop after Kolgrimr's return. Honeymaren climbed down and returned sometime in the evening with some brook trout, three of which she immediately gutted and grilled on a stick over the fire. In the meantime, Alena had searched for all kinds of herbs, roots and mushrooms to enrich the meal, which she now prepared in the pot next to it. Meanwhile, Árnason took care of the sleeping places for everyone and built a roof over them from branches, twigs and moss against possible rain.

After dinner, Honeymaren climbed the steep western cliff face, lay down on her belly at the top of the ridge, and observed the surroundings in every direction with the telescope. Eventually she would see something, she was sure, but it could well be hours yet for any hint. Suddenly, the sound of tumbling stones behind her made her move around. But it was only the boy.

“Mind if I keep you company for a bit?”

She nodded, then turned back around so she wouldn't miss anything that was going on on the plain. All was still quiet.

“What are you holding up to your eye?”

“It's a spyglass. I can see far away things with it.”

“What? Is that magic?”

Honeymaren had to laugh, “No, it's just an invention from Arendelle that they use on ships. Do you want to look through it?”

“Yeah sure!”

She handed him the extended tube and he took it very carefully in his hand. “Pretty heavy ...,” he said in surprise, holding it up to his left eye while he squinted the other one shut. His surprised cry afterwards made Honeymaren giggle. “I don't believe it! That must be magic ...”

“No, it really isn't. Now give it back to me, I have to keep a lookout.”

He handed it back to her and slid a little closer. Árnason found it exciting to lie so close to her and he could not only almost feel her warmth but also perceived her scent. Would she notice if he touched her hair; he wondered. It looked so soft. He continued to look at her as she lay there.

“What are you doing?” she asked suddenly, and he noticed how she had turned her head to him unnoticed and was staring at him.

His face flushed red, “Um ... nothing, I ... I just think you're stunningly beautiful,” it slipped out and he widened his eyes in fright.

Honeymaren snorted out, rolled onto her back and couldn't hold in her laughter. Árnason was embarrassed and ashamed at first, but then was fascinated by her bright laughter. Her body quivered at it and he couldn't help but admire her even more now. He beamed at her and her laughter died away as she slowly realized something.

“You've fallen in love with me, kiddo, haven't you?”

He swallowed and stared at her, caught.

“Kid, you better forget about it right now. Climb back down, please, and leave me alone.”

Was it her curt tone, the rejection itself, or that she had seen through him, she didn't know as he jumped up and climbed down disappointed.

“Climb slowly and carefully, you hear?” she called after him. “Okay, that was a first,” she muttered to herself in surprise, but then crawled to the edge with worry. She watched after him until he had safely reached the bottom again and then kicked furiously at the nearest branch lying around.

She shook her head with a grin and returned to her real task.

~~~

Alena, of course, did not miss the boy's mood. She glanced at him with a smirk as he plopped down at the fire pit across from her and pulled a face.

“Árnason, don't worry about it, you're still young. You still have so much time to find a pretty companion, believe me. Honeymaren is not for you. Not only is she much older than you, she's a warrior on a dangerous mission.”

He looked at her doubtfully. “But ...”

“No, really, Árni. You should focus on your duties, and you have so much to learn in the next few years. Once you become a noaidi, everything will be different. Come, let's meditate together.”

Árnason had definitely noticed that she had addressed him by his boy name, Árni, again, and he didn't like it. Had he really acted so stupidly? But he liked Honeymaren so much after all. He finally sighed and nodded. What could he do about it now already? He sat down and closed his eyes for his meditation.

Alena grinned and closed her eyes as well, but not without watching him from time to time with one half-opened eye to see if he was really concentrating.

The sun disappeared behind the ridge and plunged the small grove into deep shadows. Sometime after that, Alena heard small stones tumbling and opened her eyes. Árnason had turned around as well, and they both watched as the young Northuldra just climbed down the last bit of the rock face and then came toward them.

“They're almost there!” she said, sitting down by the fire. “There are two treks, the main group with a covered wagon and about half an hour behind them a smaller group with two wagons. It was hard to tell what they were carrying. All of them are pulled by horses. Not only that, but I saw white sails further south on the fjord. A ship is on its way here. Something is very wrong here!”

“So what do we do now?” the boy asked.

“Nothing for the time being. It will take another hour or so for everyone to reach the forest, I guess.”

“You must have very good eyes if you saw that at such a great distance,” Alena commented with raised eyebrows.

“Nah, she's got one of those magic ... some farsight thingy,” Árnason gushed, before Honeymaren could even open her mouth.

“Spyglass,” she then corrected, showing it to the noaidi, who weighed it in her hands and examined it with interest.

“I will now climb to the other ridge opposite and continue observing from there until dark. I'm afraid I can't see everything from here. Meanwhile, you stay here in hiding. I'll be back after dark and report to you,” Honeymaren added.

~~~

At the same time, at Arendelle Castle, Kristoff walked up the stairs with his head down, holding the open envelope that Wael had finally handed him. Half an hour ago, after learning the crimes Wael had committed against the Crown, he did not hesitate to read the document; after doing so, he experienced many feelings simultaneously. Anger, an unstoppable rage against Wael since his last days actions had only deepened the current crisis; a deep fear, especially for well being of the woman that was everything to him, Anna. And an increasing concern, thus becoming public the content of this letter, would be of huge impact in all the residents in the realm.

After such first impressions, it was unspeakably difficult for him to be the one to deliver it to Anna. When he stood in front of her study, he hesitated briefly, but then knocked timidly. A soft 'come in' sounded from inside and he recognized her voice.

Elsa was also present when he entered, letting the door fall into the lock behind him. He fumbled with the envelope he held in front of him in both hands, hardly daring to look his fiancée in the eye.

“What's gotten into you, honey?” she asked him, and he sighed.

“This, Anna. I just came from Wael, he told me everything after he handed me this envelope.” Kristoff hesitated to speak further. “Do you remember how I - excuse me for saying this name - wanted to punch Hans in the face and you held me back, then slammed your fist right into his nose by yourself?” Anna nodded slowly, uncomprehending. “Well, I faced the same situation again just now, and I wanted to beat the living daylights out of that guy down there after he confessed everything to me. But in the end, I just felt sorry for him.”

Anna stared first at him and then at the envelope in his hands. Elsa was no less surprised and curious.

“All right, give it to me,” she said finally, holding out her open hand to him.

“You'd better sit down, Anna” he warned her, carefully handing her the envelope. Her look thereupon said more than a thousand words, and Elsa now also rose eagerly from the armchair.

Anna took a deep breath and carefully pulled out the document. Then she read it word by word.

Seconds later, her hands were shaking while her knees buckled and she was about to fall. Kristoff and Elsa rushed forward and just managed to save the unconscious woman from a hard fall.

“My God! What the heck is in that letter?” exclaimed Elsa loudly, snatching the document. While Kristoff opened the door and shouted loudly for help into the hallway, Elsa, stunned, lowered the letter now that she knew the contents as well. She had turned white as a sheet and looked at Anna with tears in her eyes.

~~~

The journey with the heavily loaded covered wagon full of weapons took its time and so Kárral and his men reached their camp just before sunset. The first thing he saw was a dark furred figure with Kolgrimr's reindeer antler cap and a knife level with his heart, standing in front of two burned lávvus. The three half-naked men from the outpost sat in front of the next tent next to it and had put skins, in which they had cut a hole, over their upper bodies. A campfire burned in front of them.

“What in the gods happened here?” he asked as he got off his reindeer just in front of them. “And where are the other men from whom you no doubt borrowed a knife?” At this, he pointed to their unfamiliar clothing.

“They are in camp. They were ambushed in the night by a Draugr,” one of them answered somewhat hesitantly, looking around fearfully as he spoke that name. “And besides, our own camp here was looted. The most important things including the rest of the hunting spoils are gone.”

Kárral's jaw dropped, but then he recollected himself. A draugr does not build a fur doll, even if the two burned lávvus fit the abilities of such a being. And thievery?

“Bullshit!” he said, therefore. “Those punks were the same guys who took you by surprise at the outpost. Possibly is just one guy. However, teasing six men plus Gyda like that suggests more than one.” He pondered for a minute, then turned to the other men. “Unload the wagon and stow the gear behind the tents. Ten of you shall go hunting before it is too dark. You can try out the captured crossbows while you're at it, so you'll have some practice on the new weapons. I also want twenty men to spread out all over the area and look around. Look for traces of this intruder and find that damn 'Draugr' or whoever did this! Go!”

Kolgrimr will be beside himself as soon as he hears about this, and especially when he sees that one; Kárral thought worriedly, and then made his way to the Northuldra camp to talk to the others there. There was something fishy about it, he sensed, and he wondered where Kolgrimr was actually staying for so long. Without the burden of a covered wagon, he should have overtaken them long ago.

~~~

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Kolgrimr kept toward the monoliths, for he wanted to get his prisoners to the old Arendellian tent camp, and then send the twenty men back to their lávvu camp. Gyda's potion would have to lose its effect any moment, and he had no more supply of it. Besides, Thord and his men would have to show up soon, too. However, Kolgrimr was not really worried about any of the prisoners escaping. Where could they go, on foot and with women and children?

Half an hour later, his men had unloaded the prisoners there and shooed them into one of the tents. Upset shouts and weeping was the result, but was accepted with silent, expressionless looks on their faces. Many of the prisoners wondered what was actually wrong with these guys, because one could hardly call this stoic way of reacting human. The next question that most of them asked themselves was what they were going to do with them. Some of them at least guessed where exactly they were, because these were typical tents from Arendelle and must have been from the time of King Runeard.

After that task, the men took care of the other loot, the food supply. Kolgrimr had it moved to one of the other tents, the two wagons to two others. The horses were tethered nearby behind and taken care of.

When all was done, the first symptoms of the potion wearing off were already showing among the twenty men as they shuffled to their lávvus. Kolgrimr figured that was just in time and kept a little distance from them, observing. Half an hour earlier and they would still have been on their way, then he would have been in need of explanation. Some of them looked around disoriented, others just lay down in front of the tent and seemed to pass out, still others suddenly threw up. But the whole thing did not last long, and the first ones began to have astonished conversations about whether the others also felt so sick and strange, and why they were so hungry and thirsty, as if they had not fed for days.

Kolgrimr wanted to wait until morning before he sent them all on their way home. They had served their purpose and were now rather a hindrance to his further plans. He therefore turned away unnoticed and made his way to his mother's kota.

On the way there, he saw six men keeping an eye on all the proceedings of the camp. Many Northuldra gave him hateful looks as he walked past them. Then he noticed Kárral talking animatedly with Gyda in front of the kota. Shortly after, he was seen as well, and Gyda ran up to him excitedly.

“There you are at last, my son! I have something to tell you urgently, for last night a draugr beset us.”

Kolgrimr could not believe his ears. Had his mother gone mad now?

“What are you talking about, mother? There is no such thing.” He looked over at Kárral, who was looking at him strangely. Then he put his arm around her shoulder and led her back to the kota.

“Calm down, there's a reasonable explanation for everything. So, what exactly happened?” He nodded to Kárral and made a gesture that he would speak to him in a moment. Then he led Gyda inside their hut and sat with her in front of the small campfire.

He listened intently to her account, probing her mind, and grew increasingly angry when he saw what she had seen last night. Then, when she told him that someone had stolen her important drum, he jumped angrily. There had been attackers here and they had shamelessly taken advantage of his and the men's absence.

“I'll take care of it, Mother, and please forget about the Draugr, these were people who did this and I will find them and severely punish them for it!”

He left the kota and faced Kárral.

“So you think the same as I do, Kolgrimr. Well then, come with me ... you have something to look at there,” he said without mincing words and, without waiting for an answer, went ahead. Kolgrimr looked after him in surprise, but then followed him.

Half an hour later he was standing in front of the doll with its antlered cap. As he stared at it speechlessly, Kárral watched his reaction to it.

“I'd say that's a very personal thing there, wouldn't you? Who does something like that?” he asked him.

Kolgrimr nodded barely noticeable and his anger slowly began to reach the maximum. Then, with a powerful kick, he kicked the structure to the ground.

“We absolutely must find him or them, Kárral! Someone is playing games with me here and yes, you are right. This is personal,” he said, picking up his special antlered hat.

“I've already dispatched twenty men on the search and some on the hunt as well, because this guy or guys also stole the last of our supplies and other things as well.”

Kolgrimr clenched his fists. “I'll make him bleed. Then i will kill him for that!”

“Do you think that was just one? Overpowering six men is no easy matter, and especially not in this way.”

“We'll know soon enough, my friend. I'm sure,” Kolgrimr replied, beginning to stretch his senses out to the whole area around him. “One more thing, bring him to me alive! I want to savor this to its last drop of blood.”

~~~

It was a bit more than one hour after sunset when the Jarl's Pride dropped anchor off the beach at the former causeway. Thord and three of his men crossed over in the dinghy, the others were to wait on the ship for his return for the time being.

He looked around curiously as he walked up the embankment with them. When he saw the four large monoliths towering in front of him in the half-light, he paused in amazement and looked at them closely. He didn't even notice that they were no longer alone until one of the men cleared his throat and he turned to look at him. The man looked in another direction and just nodded his head there. Thord turned and saw Kolgrimr coming toward him just a few feet away.

They looked at each other for seconds.

“We need to talk,” Thord said, and Kolgrimr nodded knowingly.

~~~

---

Remark: I hope you have enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a comment if you liked the story, I would be pleased to read your opinions, even criticisms. If you want to be tagged as soon I publish the next chapter please let me know, except you are already tagged :-)

Tagging: @karma26@true--north @annaofthenorthernlights @the-fifth-spirit-elsa

#frozen #frozen2 #frozen3 #fanfic #epic novel #the broken bridge #part four #chapter 58 #bigfrozenfan

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lemonjoonah · 4 years ago

Text

Blood Bounty - Part 2 (M)

Pairings: Yoongi x Reader, Taehyung x Reader, ft. Seokjin x Namjoon Word Count: 15.5K Rating: M Genre: Historical fantasy AU, Vampire AU, Thriller, Drama, Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f. receiving), vampire feeding during intercourse, referenced non-consensual vampire feeding, attempted non-consensual vampire feeding, attempted vampire feeding on a minor, referenced captivity, referenced injury to animal, blood, violence, gore, threats, obsession, poisoning, murder, minor character death(s), illness, referenced death of brother, historical medical practices, self-inflicted injury (for the sake of vampire feeding), contemplation of action which might result in self-harm, discussion of drugging (with vampire blood)

| Series Masterlist |

Summary: He’s taken everything from you, your blood, your memories, your life, and after months spent as Taehyung’s own personal feast, you eagerly take your chance to flee. Unfortunately your escape doesn’t go as well as you had hoped, as you are soon caught by another blood thirsty beast. The vampire Yoongi claims to know you, and that he wishes to return you home. But when you can only remember the pain caused by his kind, you find it difficult to trust him, since he too could just be another monster waiting to feed.

A/N: Just a quick note, there will be a few flashbacks in part two, all of which should be italicized (as long as Tumblr doesn’t fail to format properly). Hope you all enjoy it, and please let me know what you think!

...

You wake before Yoongi at the start of dusk, after having fallen back asleep propped against his chest. The tension in your thighs from your two days of riding resurfaces as you stand. Restricted to a strained hobble, you grab the nearest supply sack. Heading outside to take a moment of privacy and address your bodily needs, while leaving Yoongi to continue his rest.

As you finish putting on the fresh clothes you acquired the day before, swapping out for a new tunic and the much needed smaller boots, Yoongi bursts out the door of the ramshackle house. His face fraught with worry. “Your Highness?!”

“Here,” you call over to him, stepping out from the cover of the trees. “I’m here.”

His chest heaves with a sigh as he relaxes. “You should have woken me.”

“So you could hover over me as I change?” You ask with a raised brow as you fit your cap back on your head.

“N-no... it’s just best if...” Yoongi’s reply is marked with stuttered speech and a tone of frustration. “H-how can I keep you safe if you wonder off in the night? You act as though you don’t have a bounty on your blood. There are sure to be hunters about and still looking for you.”

“I didn’t stray far, and there was still light out when I left you.”

“Even so, it worried me to wake, and not find you by my side.” He mutters, before returning inside to fetch the horse’s tackle and the rest of the bags.

“It won’t happen again.” You promise to his turned back, disarmed by his compassionate concern.

While he readies the horse for the day's journey, you keep to the front of the stead. Holding on to the bridal, you brush the dark mane as you make a request. “Are we able to stop at a river soon? The waterskin is running low.”

Yoongi nods, “We will cross one shortly before my ally’s post.”

“Your ally?” You ask, your heart starting to race as you panic over the suggestion. “You never said we would have to meet with more of your kind.”

“He has a residence he keeps for the clan between here and your castle. He will have a spare room and bed for us. I can promise you resting there will be far more comfortable than it has been the past two nights.”

“And it’ll be safe for me to be around such company?”

“He has no need for your blood. He resides there with his blood consort, a human-”

“A human! A captive-”

“No, no of course not.” Yoongi cuts in. “They are companions, Namjoon feeds Seokjin by choice, and in return Seokjin looks after him with his own blood, keeping Namjoon free from age and ailment.”

“But-”

“Seokjin will not approach you if I ask him not to. I trust him.” Yoongi comments as he straps the last bag in, the horse now equipped to depart.

Placing your foot in the stirrup before Yoongi can even offer to assist. Muttering your apprehension over the situation as you attempt to mount the stead. Though your endeavour to reach the saddle on your own fails miserably, resulting in your back colliding with Yoongi’s chest as you fall. His arms catch yours while your foot remains caught in the metal brace. “Careful now,” Yoongi warns you.

“I know. I can do it on my own.” You urge back, frustration edging out into your voice over your apparent state of helplessness, as you struggle to right yourself.

“I’m sure you can.” He chuckles, while pushing you up and onto the horse, before joining you himself. “But it doesn’t mean you have to.”

You shrink down between his arms trying to avoid his touch, continuing to fume over the prospect of spending the day within reach of another vampire. Yoongi may have become less of a concern after the revelation last night, but the thought of being in such close proximity to someone of his clan puts you on edge.

As you shift in the saddle trying to find a comfortable position for your seat, one of his hands comes to clutch your waist. He presses you back against him, mercifully relieving some of the weight from your thighs.

“Better?” He asks.

You nod in reply. Despite your bitterness you lean into him further, the ache being a far more pressing issue at this moment, then the ally you meet later tonight. Soon finding comfort in his support, you turn your concern to the other vampires that neither you nor he can dismiss so easily. “Earlier you said that Taehyung’s hunters are still about, you don’t think they would make it out this far and this quickly do you?”

“For you? Most certainly. I’m sorry to say, I doubt they are far behind.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because I was forced to work among them. The swiftest way for me to get to you on my own was to be granted an invitation inside, but to do that I needed to hunt. I gave them a false identity, calling myself Agust, and my services in an attempt to gain their favour.” You go rigid in the saddle. Yoongi must have sensed the change as he is quick to clarify his words. “I never gave them people, only blood I acquired in the same way that I obtained it for myself.”

“And how do you do that?”

“You know I can’t tell you,” Yoongi mutters. You’ve come to despise this answer, still huffing at his need to keep all a secret. “When you keep insisting on hiding it, I start to doubt more and more that I will like the answer.”

He hesitates before replying. “What if that is what I want?”

“I thought you said I shouldn’t judge so quickly? Now you wish for me to dislike you and your ways?” You blurt out in confusion. Why after attempting to build your trust would he want you to hate him so.

“Not necessarily, just to question and be critical once you have all of the information, to hold your own opinion and not my own view. If your memories come from me how can I know that they are unbiased.”

“But how is that a memory of mine if it’s your method of feeding?”

Yoongi doesn’t respond but merely clenches his jaw when you look back at him, refusing to speak anymore on the subject.

The silence between you stretches on for most of the night, he checks in on occasion to ensure that you are well. But other than that you hardly exchange another word, right up to when Yoongi slows the horse at the sight of the moonlit river and bridge. He helps you dismount, and unhooks a pack from the saddle, giving you access to the provisions you require.

“Our stop is only a few more minutes away down road. We have several hours until day break.” He nods to the river, “Take all the time you need. I’ll give you some privacy and take the horse just around the bend.”

When Yoongi leaves your line of sight, you remove your boots, roll your trousers, and step into the chill waters. You take one stride in and another unit you are submerged almost to your knees. Filling up the waterskin you take a long daft, while also savouring the coolness of the river your skin and sores. The bandages on your heels are a ragged mess, in desperate need of being replaced. You reluctantly return to the banks, crouching to rummage through the pack to hunt for something that could be of use to protect the broken skin.

You have no such luck in locating any spare cloth, but find instead a heavy roll of leather at the bottom. Dragging it up to the surface of the pack, you are curious as to what it might be. While peeking up to ensure that Yoongi has not come back to check in, you loosen the string ties and unravel the well-worn wrap. There’s a small clang from whatever lies inside as it unfolds. Your heart races as you attempt to brace the objects within, slowing your motions to prevent the noise from happening again. Not wishing to draw attention to your invasion of the vampire’s belongings.

But your cautionary actions come to a swift halt when tucked inside you find sharp metal instruments, encompassing a variety of shapes, sizes, and serrations. Kept well enough to glare back at you as they reflected the moonlight. You immediately drop the leather carrier to the ground, and stumble away from the horrific implements. Though in your fear and hurry, you miscalculate the security of the ground on which you stand. Teetering on the rocks at the river’s edge, you fall back. Losing your hat to the current, while your hands plunge into shallow water. The sharp pebbles of the bank dig into your palms, skinning off the scab of Taehyung’s bitten wound.

You gasp in pain, pulling your hand out from the river to inspect the freshly opened break in your skin. Yoongi appears seconds later, reaching out for your hand from the edge of the water. “Are you hurt?”

You look from your palm up to Yoongi. The sting of the lesion and his presence triggering a memory of a darkened cobblestone street, a fanged monster hidden beneath a hood, reaching out for your hand, caked with dirt and blood. Then a gap, a break in your recollection, ending with a flash of Yoongi taking that same hand and passing his own blood over yours to close the cut. The brief glimpse ends, leaving you with a bleak look at your alleged friendship.

“You... you gave me your blood?!” You ask, delving further back into the river out of fear, the prospect of the freezing water is nothing compared to the demon who seems to have poisoned you long ago.

“What are you-”

“You gave me your blood. You used your sway to compel me into-into caring for a monster like you!”

His face falls at your accusation. “Is that how you truly view it then? You do in fact see me as a monster?”

“How else can I? Why else would someone like you carry those tools other than to harm? ”

Yoongi looks down, his lips tightening upon seeing your discovery. “Because you gave them to me!” He counters, to your shock and horror, allowing his forced confession to sink in for a moment before continuing in a more sombre tone. “If you feel that I influenced you poorly, for that I am deeply sorry. I thought, I hoped you might have seen it all differently. I had your blessing back then, but I can see that I was right to question my undue-influence on you.”

“I’m not talking about your influence, but your blood, you used it to manipulate my thoughts and actions! If I gave you such things I was surely under your spell.”

“No, I would never intentionally force you to think a certain way! But your circumstances back then made you vulnerable, I fear they made you open to my persuasion, and to desire my good graces.” You stand there thigh deep in the river, frozen in place, as his words continue to challenge your perception and memory. “If you revoke your once good opinion of me I will not fault you for it. But I don’t know how else to remedy my mistakes other than to take you home. Can you please trust me long enough to do that?”

“I-” You begin, while trying to figure out where your answer will end, your head swimming with conflicting recollections of his blood, and kindness to you.

But your answer is halted by the sudden change in the vampire before you. Yoongi turns his head back to the line of trees his nose lifting before like it did when he caught the scent of the highwaymen. “Hunters, they’ve found us.”

A shiver passes over you, unrelated to the cold water. “You can smell them? Are they Taehyung’s?”

“No, not them per se, but the blood they are dressed in, and based on that...” He turns back to you, his expression fraught with worry as he points to the river. “Go in further and remain in there until it is safe to come out. They will not be able to fetch you if the river reaches past the leg of their mount. Promise me, whatever happens, whatever I say, whatever you hear, you will not leave until you are certain it is safe.”

You nod unable to verbalize your agreement. Your breath catches in your chest as you continue to lower yourself into the water's depths. The slow current comes to reach your waist, just before a mounted hunter and his much larger companion on foot break near the banks of the river.

“Agust,” the mounted hunter address Yoongi by his false persona, confirming your dread of who they serve. “Fancy meeting you here. We thought we smelled something sweet, but had not realized you would be attempting to collect it too. Since when do you capture live prey? I thought you dealt more in bottled goods.” He proceeds to laugh at his own words, while his fellow remains silent.

“This bounty is mine Thane.” Yoongi commands from the ground standing between you and them. His attention focused solely on the vampire with the stead, marking him as the superior of the two hunters in your eyes.

“Is it now?” He asks with an air of conceit. “It looks more like it’s just beyond your reach. Smart of her to use our weakness in such a way.”

“She’s just playing a game,” Yoongi mutters. “She won’t last long in there, the cold will send her out soon.”

You wish it wasn’t so, but there’s truth to his words, for you are unsure of how much longer you can bear the frigid temperatures. The chattering of your teeth brings further evidence to them that the chill has sunk deep into your skin.

“If she was so difficult to control why did you not give her your blood?” The larger of the two hunters asks.

“What, and taint the product with my own?” Yoongi spits back, looking offended that the hunter would suggest such practice. “I plan to take her back to Lord Taehyung, unspoiled, and alone.”

The lip of the leader, Thane, curls at Yoongi’s comment. “I do not think you will. She seems like more than you can handle.”

“Then you and your partner leave me to fetch a human who may breach the water’s banks.”

“No, you will come with me. Averill will stay and watch her.” Thane nods to the hulking vampire next to him.

“And leave my blood bounty with you? I think not.” Yoongi’s worry starts to cross into his voice, his wavering tone evident to even you. He stands down with a fake chuckle and proceeds to dismiss their presence by busying himself with the task of repacking the belongings you left out of the sack. “If you're not going to send for assistance leave me be, for I plan to wait as long as it takes to recollect her for his lordship.”

“And what will you do when the sun rises? You are not in a position to negotiate Agust. You should be glad that we are offering to even do you this favour. I hear the reward for this one is greater than any before. Lord Taehyung is offering an immediate position among his keepers to whomever can capture her.”

It becomes clear to you that they will not give in so easily, and Yoongi too pauses upon hearing this news. “Since you insist, I will go with you, but he does not make an attempt to touch her until we get back. If I find out you’ve tried to cross me-”

“He will stick to the shore of the river, until our return.” Thane looks to his companion who nods to confirm that he will abide to such terms.

Yoongi turns his back to them, the light of the moon granting a dim view of the concern on his face. He points one figure at the ground, what you can only only read as a supposed signal for you to stay, before mounting up and riding off with one of the hunters in the direction of his ally.

The vampire on the water's edge began to prowl back and forth, watching you with intrigue. “You look cold and tired my dear. You should come out, let’s not play this game any longer.”

“It’s not a game.” You mutter in response to the vampire.

A menacing grin takes hold of his face. “Of course it is, your kind consider hunting to be of sport, do they not?”

You turn your head and ignore his comment. Letting minutes pass with you in silence, until the vampire's pacing comes to a halt, and the smile has all but faded from his features.“Where the hell are they?”

Considering the torment his clan has brought you, you take great pleasure in seeing his frustration rise. “What’s wrong?” You tempt him, hoping that he might be foolish enough to try to reach you on his own. “Does the night wane too quickly for you? Is the vampire afraid of a little sunlight as well as running water? With so many weaknesses it’s a wonder you’ve survived.”

“There are still a few hours to go until sunrise human, I wouldn’t raise your hopes just yet. Because when I pull you from that river, I will show you just how well I survive. ” No sooner than the threat passes from his lips, a single horse rides back into view. Though to your terror it is not Yoongi’s stead, but Thane’s, with it’s rider wrapped his tattered and blood stained cloak. Your chest tightens and breathing stops, as you consider what might have happened to Yoongi. His absence brings grim thoughts to your mind regarding his fate, fearing what kind of situation he must be in to prevent his return.

Looking downriver with a choked sob, you contemplate your only escape with Yoongi now gone, ready to take the current to its end, or yours.

The imposing vampire that was left with you calls out to his ally. “What in the devil's name took you so long? I thought you were going to deal with Agust, and bring back someone who could assist? I see no humans!”

Thane doesn’t answer out loud. After dismounting he pulls his cloak tighter, and approaches his friend, leaning in to talk to him. It’s not until a stake pierces Averill’s chest that you see the true face of the rider. Painted with blood from, and contempt for, the being he just slaughtered.

A sense of déjà vu grips you once again, and refuses to let go. You’ve witnessed something like this before, so many years ago. Another memory starts to resurface, another vampire slaying much like this, both executed by the hand of... “Yoongi?!”

...

-10 years ago -

Just a few hours outside of the palace walls, that is all you desire. Dressed in your lady’s maid’s change of clothes you go in search of the sights outside. Hoping to find something unfamiliar and new. After hearing the very maid you ‘borrowed’ the clothes from, discuss the bakery, the public houses, the marketplace, and more. You could no longer hold back your curiosity. Your books and maps are not enough to quell your taste for adventure, your eyes seek to explore the areas that the tomes in your library fail to touch. And since it all resides on the crown's land, surely you have a duty to study it?

As much as you would have preferred to go out in the day, the cover of darkness is so much easier to slip out under. No one should look twice at a person your attire, and you yourself are not expected to be anywhere else other than bed.

Unfortunately that means the bakery is closed and the market packed up. The only place warmed with light and presence is the tavern, but you know it would be foolish to go in there. For you have no coin on hand for a meal, and are far too young to have any other sensible reason for entrance.

Despite your first expedition not being everything you wanted, it only makes you determined to plan better for your next. After two hours pacing the streets, looking for sites of interest, you consider heading back. You turn to face the direction you had just travelled and look for another route home, not wishing to view only the same roads as before. Travelling one side street and another, though you soon make an error and find a dead end greeting you on the third.

Turning about, you double back, but fail to notice the slick pile of refuse, which sends you falling forward. Your hands reach out to stop your face colliding into the cobblestones, while the rest of your body flattens painfully in your tumble.

Following the shock of your plummet you take a moment to inspect your well-being from the ground. You curse your foolish inattention when you find your palms coated in mud, and stinging with scrapes. Resulting in a small amount of blood, beading on the surface of your skin.

A man dressed in a long cloak and hood from the nearby road turns into the alley and encroaches upon your, no doubt pathetic looking form. You thought he might be there to offer his assistance after such a fall, but he only looks down upon you with a hunched posture.

“Well aren’t you a rare breed. Surely you are not from these parts, or I would have found you before.” His sinister words immediately put you on your guard, after giving you the impression that you are something to be collected rather than aided.

“I’m sorry sir but you are mistaken.” You ascend from your knees and brush yourself off, seeking to flee his uncomfortable presence, but the stranger blocks your path. With an outstretched arm, his hand rests against the wall, taking up the entire width of the alley. The lower half of the man’s face peaks out from beneath his hood, only to show his tongue darting out to wet his lips. You clench your jaw and stand firm, attempting to give him reason to reconsider preying on one such as yourself. “I hail from here, and my family expects my return soon. Now let me pass.”

“I am not mistaken, I know a new and valued vintage when I smell it, and you are quite something...” He steps closer as you back away, continuing to cut off your escape by dragging his fingers along the stone wall. His stride resembles that of a predator, narrowing in on their presumed feast. You raise a hand in to signal for him to stop, but he merely gives it a keen stare.

“Did you hurt your hands my dear? Here let me take a look.” He reaches out with his own taloned hand, his long fingers ending with sharpened nails. “I can help heal them right up for you.”

“Thank you sir, but I would rather just go home and tend to them myself.” You give one last plea, one last appeal to his humanity. Fearing that his next action against you will be truly monstrous.

“It will take only a moment, and I promise,” the fabric of his hood falls back to reveal his feral face with pointed teeth, “You won’t remember a thing.”

He grabs your hand, pulling it to his mouth. You try to tug it back, but his grip is like none you’ve felt, so firm that even the strongest pull you can muster has no impact on him. Even a push to his chest from your other fist does not disturb him. You close your eyes waiting for the pain of his strike but there’s nothing of the sort. Only a soft grip on your wrist for a second and your hand is released. You open your eyes back up in hesitation, to find your attacker pinned against the wall by another.

“We do not feed on children! Have you forgotten our clan’s law?”

“Yoongi, I’m sorry sir you’re right. But you must understand, you must smell how sweet her blood is. Do you not find it as tempting as I?”

“We do not feed on children.” The newcomer reiterates his tone drawing into a low growl.

“Surely she is not so young that you cannot make an exception this once? No one else in the clan has to know sir, it’s just us here. I’ll even share her with you.”

There’s a swift flash of movement and the second has impaled the first through the chest with a wooden stake. The predator who cornered you looks on him with shock before slumping down the side of the wall, leaving a strip of blood in his wake.

You stare into the vial stranger’s blank eyes, unable to quell the worry that he might still launch an attack on you. “Is-is he, is it-” You manage to stutter out, as you battle your nerves, deeply shaken, but increasingly grateful for the intervention of the one before you.

“He’s dead.” The vanquisher tends to the cast-off on his coat and skin, brushing his hand over the crimson stains while he addresses you. “You should run along princess, it’s not safe for you to wander about at night.”

“You-you know who I am?”

“I’ve come across your scent before, it was just after one of your family’s gallant displays of authority.” You tilt your head confused by what he could mean. He takes in your bewilderment and explains further. “One of the royal processions, I spotted you just after dusk when you returned to the castle some years ago. Your aroma is not one my kind would forget.”

“Your kind, what do you mean your kind? What was he?”

“A weak willed monster who feeds on blood, and hunts by night. He is not alone out there, so you should stay very far away from the darkened streets.”

“But you are not like him.”

“I swear to you, he and I are the same.” The man comes towards you lowering himself on one knee and baring his fangs. “He is a vampire, and so am I.”

You don’t turn away but look at them with curiosity. His brow furrows as you move in closer. “And what of your name?” You ask, desperate to know more about him, for his appearance, his very existence, has certainly become the most intriguing part of your night .

“You don’t need-”

“But I would like it.”

“Yoongi. I go by Yoongi,” he mutters, looking taken aback once again. “May I?” He extends his hand for yours. You give it to him with little hesitation, wincing as his thumb brushes the mud away. He pauses upon noticing your discomfort and extends an offer to you. “If I take away this pain, will you promise to go straight home?”

You nod back, wondering how he could offer such a thing. He bites his hand before taking your own, rubbing the blood over the scrapes. And to you surprise, the cuts vanish before your eyes, the skin forming back together as though your fall never happened. Regardless if this being thinks he is a monster or otherwise, it’s apparent a miracle cure flows through his veins. Your brother's condition jumps to the forefront of your mind. “You can heal wounds? Cuts and contusions too?”

“I can.” His answers with a raised eyebrow.

“So you could help my brother?”

“Your brother, what of him?”

“He has an illness. My parents don’t want to spread word of his condition, but whenever he gets hurt, he bruises and bleeds without end. You can save him, right?”

“I cannot assist your brother.” He rises from his knee and proceeds to drag the body of the former vampire deeper into the shadows, all while continuing to answer your request. “Making myself even known to you goes against the wishes of my clan. I should wipe your memories, but if I do, I fear you’ll forget the danger and return here once again.”

“Please! He needs your help.” You beg, hoping that he’d agree to be your salvation once again.

The self proclaimed monster looks at you, while tugging the stake from the chest of the corpse. Meeting your eyes when you refuse to look away from him or the gruesome sight. “If you swear to stay within the walls of your castle and tell not a soul... I will see what I can do.”

You lead him back to your home, the vampire following a few paces behind. Returning to the passage hidden in the roots of the hedge, the trap door beneath the flora, from which you ventured out earlier tonight. You open it stepping in first. Your companion stops as if being held back by some invisible force. “I need your permission to enter.”

“Why?”

“Consider it a courteous limitation of my race. Now do you want me to heal your brother or not?”

“Yes, you may come in.”

Lighting the lantern you left for yourself at the entrance, you lead him through the dark tunnel beneath the castle.

“What is this place used for? I can’t imagine anyone ventures down here much.” He remarks brushing away cobwebs that stretch across the path.

“It is an escape tunnel, to ensure the safety of the royal line. Only my immediate family knows of it. If there were to be danger we could flee down here and leave the grounds. And no, they do not visit here, only I come down myself when I wish to hide away.” The hidden offshoot of the cellar is ample space for you, and far less restrictive than the palace above ground.

You climb a set of stairs ending in a door which returns you to the halls of the castle, the entrance to the secret route concealed behind a painting of a king who came long before. Peeking out into the corridor you find it clear of guardsmen and servants, and doing the same again at your brother’s door.

The physicians and surgeons had left him for the night, which allows for Yoongi to slip in behind you. He checks over your sleeping brother, paying close attention to both the recent injury to his knee and the incision on the inside of his elbow. “Why was this made?” He points to the latter. “It’s too clean to be an accident.”

“Bloodletting, they bleed him regularly to dispose of the weakened blood.”

“Weakened Blood?” Yoongi shakes his head as he reopens the spot on his hand, spreading his blood over your brother's wounds. They close up with the skin returning to its normal state and hue. “I hadn’t realized that surgeons practiced such things. If you want to keep him alive don’t let them bleed him anymore. Come to think of it...” He examines the tools of their trade, and roles up the leather pouch in which they are contained. “May I borrow these? I might have a use for them.”

“Take them, please.” You urge, breathing a sigh of relief. It’s a shock to see your brother's condition, which has plagued your family since his birth, so easily remedied with Yoongi's help. But the worry over the uncertain future still holds. “What if it happens again? How will I find you if I shouldn’t leave the castle?”

“You said few know of the cavern below? I’m in need of somewhere safe to rest during the day when I come to town, that spot will do. If I have your consent to use it?”

...

It’s been a couple weeks since your first meeting. The vampire, Yoongi has grown more comfortable within the tunnel beneath, and far less hesitant around you. You’ve learned so much about him, and his shrouded kin, both the good and the bad.

He lays back against the stonewall his eyes closed in satisfaction. Far different from the first few times you met him. “You look... more relaxed.”

He keeps his eyes closed as he gives you his answer, “I had the ability to address some of my needs I’ve been neglecting. I’ve been able to feed on a far more frequent basis.”

“Oh...” You exclaim, not knowing how to comment further on the topic.

One of his eyes opens to peek at you while he remains at rest. “Does that scare you? Do you fear me now?” He chuckles darkly.

You respond with a quick and decisive, “No.” Catching the vampire by surprise judging from his tongue in cheek and open mouth.

“And why is that?”

“If you took no issue with human suffering you wouldn’t have saved me. You wouldn’t have saved my brother. Did you bring pain to the person you feed on?”

Yoongi scoffs, his tongue still rolling in his cheek as he looks to the floor. “No, I did not. And I have you to thank for that.”

“How did I help?” You ask in utter bewilderment. The two of you have never discussed his own meals before.

“When a vampire feeds they don’t often care about the damage they cause, they can make their prey forget they ever saw them, becoming nothing more than a bad dream. I have been struggling with this way of life for a while now. But you, you gave me another method to feed, and for that I am eternally in your debt.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“I know,” he chuckles back. “I’ll show you one day. When I can be certain it is safe to do so.”

...

A month later, Yoongi sneaks into your room in the dead of night, waking you from your slumber.

“Wh-what’s wrong?” You ask with slurred words as you rub your eyes.

“Nothing, nothing, but I’m ready to show you. Dress in what you wore when we met. We can’t have anyone recognizing you.”

You bolt up out of bed and dash over to your desk. Yoongi watches as you tug out the false bottom you created in one of the drawers that hides the cotton-spun dress from sight.

“You appear to be well versed in the art of hiding secrets princess,” Yoongi laughs, as he examines the panel.

“When every eye in the household seeks to critique you, you find ways to hide your less-than-amiable indulgences.”

“And is that what this is?” The vampire holds up a book of cartographic exploration also stored in the secret nook of the drawer. “An indulgence?”

You take the tome in question from his hand and return it to the drawer, replacing the panel to conceal it. “For a situation like my own it is.”

After changing into the plain garment Yoongi takes you from the castle, bringing only the leather roll of surgical instruments you had given him. He doesn’t take you far, a house, located only a five minute walk beyond the gates of your castle. “Are you sure you want to see this?” He asks as his fist hangs above the door.

You nod, curious as to how he’s been feeding himself.

“Very well, if anyone asks you are my assistant.”

“Assistant for what?”

He answers only with a wide grin as he knocks. The door opens a fraction, by the hands of a startled woman, whom Yoongi is quick to greet. “Sorry to intrude, and so late too. I heard you might be in need of a surgeon?”

“W-we can’t pay,” she croaks back, and attempts to close the door, but Yoongi stops it by placing the leather case in the gap.

“I require no monetary payment. My services have already been covered.”

“By who?” The woman is sceptical, and rightly so. Based on your experience with your brother’s past needs, you know a surgeon’s fee to be no small price.

“The daughter of the crown.”

“The crown? But why would she-”

“Because there are those in this kingdom in need of my assistance. I’m sure you’ve noticed the rapid recovery of your neighbour just a few doors down.”

Her eyes widen, lighting with hope. “The surgeon was you?”

“It was.” He answers with a closed lip smile.

The resident looks from Yoongi to you, her gaze lingers for a second on your appearance, before opening the door further. “You may come in.” She takes you to a small residence, her hands trembling as she escorts you into a nearby bedroom.

The stench of a sickly-sweet rot overpowers your nose the moment you step into the room. You cover your mouth in an attempt to keep down your rising dinner, while Yoongi goes to the aid of an unconscious man laying in bed. A deep and putrid gash extends from the inside of his thumb to his wrist.

“Another surgeon said he might need to take the hand... it’s not so bad is it?” Her voice quakes. “My husband won't be able to work if he loses it.”

“No, he’ll keep it.” Yoongi states, as he lifts a ceramic bowl, notched at the rim, from the bedside table and props the wounded man’s arm over it. Several small cuts already adorn the weak skin at the crease of his elbow joint. “I take it you've bled him regularly?”

The wife nods. “Yes, but we ran out of money. I couldn’t afford to have anyone else continue the bleeding. So I attempted it myself.” She looks down at the floor in shame, clearly upset that she had not been able to help her own husband.

“He will be well again. I promise I can heal this.” He assures her, before turning to you. “Can you hold these for me?” Passing you the same tools you gave him just months before. You unravel the leather pouch. Exposing the sharp tools for his selection, his slender fingers choose one of the smaller blades to make the incision. As the scarlet fluid drains, Yoongi calls for fresh linen and the wife leaves the room in search of his needs.

The second she is out of sight, you start to question the vampire. “Bloodletting? But I thought you said-”

“It’s both a cover, and an exchange. He gives me his, and I’ll give him mine. I must thank you for the tools, they’ve been very helpful in keeping up the disguise. But do you think you can keep her out? I can’t let her see this next part, the improvement to his hand will be too drastic and too quick for her not to suspect a mystical source.” Yoongi requests as he breaks the seal on a bottle filled with thick crimson fluid. Pouring out a drop he rubs his blood onto the festering wound of his subject's hand.

You nod, watching the two sides of the laceration seal together, leaving only a clean scar. When the wife returns with a knock at the door, you take the material and ask her to wait there. Thankfully she obeys without much resistance, taking a seat just outside the room, her eyelids drooping from exhaustion, and her skin slick with the sweat of worry.

You hand over the linen to Yoongi who wraps it around the previously infected area. The man, much to your concern, remains unconscious. “Will he wake soon?”

“It might take some time, but yes. He still has a fever, but that should break in the next couple of hours with the infection gone.”

“And that?” You nod to the basin of blood.

“That, I will keep for myself.” Yoongi finishes wrapping the man’s hand before taking a wine skin from his coat, carefully pouring the viscous fluid into the flask, and taking every drop.

“It won’t affect you adversely even though he was ill when he gave it?”

“No, his ailment won’t harm me.” Taking a draft as if to prove his point, he wrinkles his nose as it goes down, and licks his lips clean to hide the evidence of his feast. “The taste isn’t always perfect, but it fills my needs, and it’s far better than the alternative.”

Yoongi passes off the patient’s care to his wife and warns her not to remove the bandages for several days. A continuation of his ploy to maintain that his methods have a more realistic recovery rate.

After returning you to the passage of the castle shortly before dawn, Yoongi looks to be apprehensive, wringing his hands as he bids you farewell for the day. “Seeing that... taking part in it wasn’t disturbing to you? You do not think it malicious for me to lie and profit in such a way?”

“No, not at all.” You shake your head, and beam at the vampire before you. “I was pleased that you showed me.”

“I owe my thanks to you,” he whispers, as a smile starts to cross his own features.

“But I did nothing.”

“You gave me the idea. I was not aware, nor did I think to benefit from such a human norm. I thought I was condemned to feed like a monster until the end. So as long as you approve, as long as you think it decent to conduct myself in this way, I will continue.”

“You’ve already helped us so much, how could I not? You are the reason my brother is well again, the reason that man will continue to live and work. You are more a saviour than any being I’ve met before.”

...

You thought him a hero in your past. Every action had a valid reason, every motive morally sound. His store of blood, the surgical knives, every memory of his history with you is beyond reproach.

“Yoongi?”

The friend of your past, falls to his knees beside the body of the hunter. He raises a hand to his face to contain a cough, but even from your distance you can see scarlet sputtering from his lips and spilling down between his fingers.

“Yoongi!” You wade through the water as quickly as you can. Reaching his side while he continues to expel blood. “What happened?”

“Powdered silver.” He sputters again spraying your drenched trousers and ground with scarlet. “The bastard asked for some of my drink. I obliged to maintain my cover, but I didn’t notice he poisoned it in the process, and then took a sip myself.” Despite his state he proceeds to hastily shove the body of the vampire into the river, where it starts to burn and disintegrate in the current. “Don’t worry, much like this one, he is far worse off than I.” Yoongi chuckles darkly before doubling over in another fit.

“We need to get you somewhere safe to heal.” You take his shoulder and help him on to the stolen horse.

“Seokjin, he's waiting for my return. I left everything with him. Down the road,” he whispers as another clot of blood leaves his mouth. “You’ll find a stone house.”

Once he is mounted you take the spot behind him this time, in an attempt to keep him in the saddle. “Yes, I remember it now...”

...

- 9 years ago -

You’ve fallen into a routine, where every morning an hour before sunrise you wait in the underground passage to see if Yoongi will show. It’s been over a week since he’s visited last. In the year you’ve known him he has never stuck to a schedule, his visits are random but frequent. You pass the time waiting with a travel log of a famous explorer, and an atlas for reference, studying the map and marking his trek as you pass through the pages. Cartography has long become a hobby of yours, much to the disappointment of your mother, she deemed such interests as unladylike forcing you to hide your activities. Though your hands stained with ink from your nightly studies, have betrayed you on more than one occasion.

The trap door to the outside opens, revealing your long awaited friend. “Yoongi!” You run and pull him into a hug. When you allowed him to rest here and tend to your brother as needed, you never thought that he would become your salvation too, your craved glimpse into the outside world which you have long since been denied. “You said you’d only be gone a few days!”

“I know forgive me princess, something came up. The travel back was slower than expected.”

“Were you able to do what I requested?”

“I was.” He pulls out several pages you had torn from your atlas marking them with details important to those of his kind. “Excuse my penmanship. It’s not as practiced as it once was.”

Dismissing his concerns with a wave of your hand you peer down at the sheets eager to see the world from his eyes, starting with the details closest to your own home. “Who is Seokjin?” You ask pointing to a dark spot labelled ‘Seokjin’s Post’ less than a day's ride away.

“I see you waste no time.” Yoongi smiles at your enthusiasm. “A member of my clan, a keeper, one who is stationed at a waypoint for ease of travel.”

“A keeper?” You ask unfamiliar with the vampiric title.

“One who has a claim to our land, and can give permission to other vampires to enter. It’s an honour to be trusted with such a responsibility.”

“Are you a keeper?”

“A form of keeper, yes, I share claim to the main stronghold with our clan’s lord. It took me near a quarter century as a clan hunter to be given permission to even enter, and three times as long to gain my current status. It is a prestigious role, but also a double edged sword, for it also is what keeps me away.”

“I should like to see it.”

“My clan’s fortress? No, I will never take you there, your scent could plunge the whole estate into chaos.”

You frown at the inability to visit his station, but continue to search the map. Finding another castle marked much like his own out to the west. “What of this one? ‘Lord Taehyung’s Fortress,’ you have never spoken of him.”

Yoongi goes rigid as he hovers over the mapped sheets with you. “I have not, for he is of a different clan, with far darker ambitions than our own. I choose to mark it as a warning and a place to avoid. If you should ever hear of or be near someone in his service, run. Run as far and fast as you can.”

You swallow any further questions regarding the rival clan, uneased by Yoongi’s words. Changing the subject again to learn more of your confidant and friend. “Where did you come from if you have not always resided with your clan.”

Yoongi forgoes the sheets you have given him of the surrounding area, taking the atlas out of your hands, he flips the pages to a wider view of the land. “I come from out here.” Pointing to an area not on the page, but to the right of the book, far more east than the last recorded city.

“Off map? Could we visit your old home instead?” You ask, your excitement bubbling to the surface.

“No it is far more than a night’s journey away, making it too long of a trek for you. It would take months on foot, and even if we were to make it, I doubt there would be much left, for the hearth kept by my family grew cold long ago.”

“I would like to see the area at the very least. We could get a horse. Money is no object, I have-”

“Princess, even still, your absence would be noticed. You cannot just disappear for weeks on end and return when you please. You would lose your home, your own station.”

“What if I told you that I don’t want to be a princess. That my dream is to leave this castle, and find an adventure with you.”

...

- 5 ½ years ago -

For years this disagreement raged between you both, with you desiring to leave, and him insisting you must stay. His return is always a bright moment, but your partings always cast a dark shadow when he once again embarks alone. Existence without him in the kingdom is so cold and rigid, to the point where you’ve come to rely on his visits to breathe life back into you, needing his company to live as much as your brother needs his blood. To your dismay the length between each of his appearances grows longer. Though his apologies still accompany him each time you must wait beyond his promised return.

“I told you, you should invest in a horse.” You mutter as you cling to him, greeting him with your usual hug the second he slips into the underground tunnel.

His hand draws across your back soothing you with his presence. “And I’ve told you I don’t need one for myself alone.”

“Then you will get one when we leave together?” You ask, pulling away looking up with hopeful eyes.

“Princess...” He growls as you once again bring up the dreaded topic.

“We need to talk about this Yoongi. We can’t go on like this forever.”

“No, but how is your brother? What would happen if you left?” Yoongi asks, setting up his bed roll for you both to sit on. He never leaves anything behind out of concern that someone in your family will find it while he’s away. Requiring him to get re-situated upon every return.

“He is well...” Your statement trails off unable to make a further valid argument regarding his situation.

“But that could change in an instant. And if you’re not here-”

“I might not be here much longer anyway!” Your statement hangs in the air between you both.

His face reads only of confusion, with his mouth hanging open as he attempts several false starts to respond. “Wh-What do you mean?”

You take your seat next to Yoongi determined to make him see it your way this time. There has been something weighing on you, feelings that you’ve found difficult to approach, but if you don’t say it now you worry you’ll never get to. “I am eighteen Yoongi, and well of age to marry. There have been suggestions of prospects and matches. I’ve tried delaying them but I know I will not stay in this castle much longer either way.”

His eyes darken and brows furrow. “I suppose congratulations are in order then.” His words in no way match his expression.

“No, they are not! I don’t want that life, I’ve told you this before. I have no wish to leave this castle only to become locked in another. You know that is what will happen! Any union made will be to benefit the kingdom in an alliance, they will have their own expectations, their own walls I cannot cross.”

“Maybe that is for the best though. You will live the life you were intended, saving you from a life with a monst-”

“You are not a monster Yoongi, I do not need saving from you!”

“If not from me, then at least from my kind. I cannot give you the life nor the safety which lies here, or in another castle with your own kind. A life alongside a vampire will not have a happy end.”

“And what of a life without living one’s dream? Without the one you’ve come to admire and befriend. Can that have a happy end? Would it not bother you to yield me to another who is not as kind, nor caring as you? Yoongi, I lo-”

Yoongi emits a low growl halting your argument and paramount confession. “I profess I would loathe to lose you too, but dreams and desires change. I do not wish for you to regret your path with me as I once regretted choosing this life too. If it weren’t for you... ” His voice trails off as he hangs his head in shame. “I could not bear to see you suffer knowing I brought you the pain which haunted me for years. The loss of a family, of a home, I do not wish for you to endure the same.”

“Then what would convince you? What will show you I am truly earnest in my desire?” You ask hoping to find the answer to not only show your determination to leave, but your true feelings for him too.

He pauses the discussion, getting up to pace the room. His fingers run through his hair as he ponders your query. “I don’t want you forced into this because of circumstances beyond your control...” He stops his stride mid thought, and glances to you.“I can still supply your brother with blood if you choose to marry, and leave my side. Now in having that safety I need to know that you’ve given this consideration more time. Without the weight of your brother's life hanging over you.”

“It has been all I’ve wanted these past few years, to leave this place with you.”

“But first I need you to give this life the honest chance without my presence. I will leave you with enough of my blood for the time I’m gone. Though we should discuss who you will entrust to take care of him if you are in another castle, or with me.”

“My lady’s maid.” You suggest, for you know she loves him as much as you, though she tries to keep it concealed. “I would trust his life to her, but how long do you plan to stay away?”

“My clan intends to launch a wave of hunters into rival territory, it’s the best chance we have to take down Taehyung’s stronghold.” Yoongi explains while returning to the seat next to you. “If we can do this before you wish to leave then I will be as far greater ease to take you from here, but knowing that they are out there now worries me when it comes to your safety.”

“How long Yoongi?” You reiterate, scared by his avoidance of your question.

“Six months.”

“But that’s such a long time!”

“If you want to leave with me you will have to endure it, but I wish for you to take this time and consider your options. Don’t close every door yet, simply because of how you feel now.”

You inch closer to him, “My answer will be the same half a year from now. I want you to take me will you.”

“Nevertheless, I would like to wait, and hear it again upon my return.”

“I will do as you ask, but after that wait, I expect you to be ready for me to leave alongside you. We’ll need a travel plan, supplies, and a decent horse too.”

“Whatever you require, I will have. I’ll even let you name the stead.” Yoongi promises with a smirk. Taking the glass vial of blood he uses on his patients from his coat, he gives it to you. Cupping your hands as you take it from him, he leans in, putting his lips enticingly close to your own. “I’ll be back for your final answer, just please think it over. I will bear you no ill will if you decide...” He pauses, a grimace weighing heavy on his expression. “If you decide, you would be better off if you forgot me entirely, and moved on with your life.”

“I would never wish to forget you.” You give another thought to confessing further, telling him how much you’ve grown to love him. How you crave more than just to leave with him. Wishing to close the gap between you and seal your deal with a kiss. But despite your determination to confess to him earlier, you hold your tongue and lips in place. Suspecting that he will dismiss those desires too. When he returns, you reason with yourself, putting it off for a little longer. Yes, then you will express it all to him.

...

Just as Yoongi said, further down the road and nestled between the trees, there resides a small stone house. Had you not been looking for it, you might have missed it entirely. You stop with a pull of the reins, sliding down from the saddle you tie the horse to an outdoor post, and proceed to help the increasingly catatonic vampire with his own dismount. Propping one of his arms over your shoulder you approach the dwelling and hammer on the door.

A booming voice responds from the other side. “It damn well took you long enough!” It opens to reveal a tall man draped in a spattering of blood, extending from his broad shoulders to the small of his waist. He curses upon the sight of you and the barely conscious Yoongi on your shoulder. “I told him he wasn’t well enough to return to you alone.”

He looks human at first glance but a small chuckle reveals pointed teeth hidden by his set of full lips. “‘I must do this Seokjin,’” The vampire utters in his imitative tone of Yoongi. “‘Just look after this one’s body for me.’ That is the last time I do you a favour. I swear I’ve never seen a vampire’s corpse so saturated with blood.... even ruined my favourite shirt.”

Seokjin takes Yoongi from you and calls out to another. “Namjoon? Come help me with this determined fool and his human princess.”

You cringe from the unexpected use of your title, but the vampire pays you no mind. Looking to his human partner who descends the stairs. Namjoon ushers you into their residence, looking troubled by the state of your soggy clothes.

Just as with the abandoned house from the night the windows have heavy shutters that close from the inside, most of which are currently open, letting in the night air. But this dwelling is thankfully well lit, with several lanterns bolted to the walls, a fire roaring off to the side, and an iron candelabra at the centre of a massive wooden table.

The vampires take the lead up the narrow wooden stairs, with you and Namjoon trailing behind. Gliding through an open door in the upper hall, Seokjin places your now fully unconscious companion on the bed of a well furnished room. He takes Yoongi’s tunic and tears it open, exposing a trail of burns down his throat and chest.

“I’ve never witnessed a silver poisoning to this extent. It’s a miracle he was able to still retrieve you.” Seokjin mutters.

Namjoon grabs a blanket from the cupboard, and wraps it around your damp shoulders, before attempting to take you from the room. “Come let's get you some dry clothes.”

But you stand firm and refuse to be parted from Yoongi. Concern grows within you over Seokjin’s statement. “Will he- will he recover?”

“Yes, but it’ll take time. Though if he feeds soon, his injuries will heal far quicker.”

“Do you have any blood on hand?” You ask on his behalf. “With his supply poisoned he has nothing else to drink.”

Seokjin’s eyes bore into you expectantly, a smile coming to the corner of his lips. “Am I not looking at his blood consort now? Has he not fed from you?”

You shake your head, backing away from Yoongi’s supposed ally.

He takes in your reaction with a tilt to his head. “That must have been a struggle for him, considered I’m using all my power to not feed from you now.”

Namjoon steps in between. “Let her be Seokjin, you know who she is, and where she’s been kept. She’s clearly scared to do so, I can spare-”

The smirk on the vampire’s face dies with the offer of his human. “You will do no such thing! Your blood is mine, and mine is yours is it not?”

“It is, however-”

“Then that is the end of this discussion. If she wishes to help him then she must make that sacrifice, not you.” The vampire pushes his human out of the room before he turns back to you. “If I were in your position I would heal him, and do so quickly... for he has given up far more for you than a few drops of blood.” Seokjin then shuts the door behind him, leaving you alone with Yoongi.

You pace back and forth at the foot of the bed, hugging your blanket close in comfort. When you consider feeding him, your anxiety starts to rise to an undesirable peak, with the feeling of your heart rising to your throat and pounding in your ears. Your mind can’t help but draw on the memories of Taehyung's feeding, but this instance is different, with you in control, and the one who requires blood is not a monster but your past saviour, and love.

You empty his bags on the desk provided in the room. Making one last effort to look for any additional store of blood that might have remained unpolluted. Finding nothing but clothes, and basic supplies, until the roll of surgical instruments hits the wooden surface with a dull thud. Left with no other option but the tools before you, you grow more determined to push down the horrors of your past. Doing it for the sake of Yoongi, and the returning portion of you who adores him so adamantly.

Freeing one of the knives, you take a deep breath, and slice along the partially opened scar on your hand. The pain takes control for a moment, forcing your jaw to clench and your breath to seethe between your teeth, as the sight of scarlet turns your stomach. But seeing Yoongi suffering brings your mind back to focus as the blood wells to the surface, creating a thick pool in your palm. You go to him and straddle his form taking his chin in one hand to open his mouth. You clench your ruby drenched fist and tilt it over him. The first drip hits Yoongi’s lip, the second entering his mouth. His eyes fly open, and a snarl leaves his throat. Reaching out he grabs your hand, not to draw it closer but to push it back towards you.

“You’ve spilled enough of your blood for my kind.” He whispers, his ache evident in the hoarseness of his tone.

“Seokjin said you needed it. Will you just take it.”

“No! I have no wish to become the next monster who haunts your dreams.”

“You won’t, I remember now. From my first time meeting you, all the way up to our parting. You did so much for me and my family. You were right in saying those you feed off of were not your victims, I saw how they suffered from illness and injury.” Your voice starts to quake as you force it all out, confining his depth of importance to you to a few small statements is no easy task. “I understand why you feared your influence over me in the past. But please, know now, I do not consider myself a casualty of yours. I give you my blood of my own free will.”

You offer your hand once again but Yoongi doesn’t move his narrow gaze giving the impression that his decision is final. “Very well.” You counter, as you cup your hand with your own, pressing down on the wound as you consider the already escaped blood. “It seems a shame to waste it though. Maybe your friend Seokjin will take it, he appeared to be interested.” You play your bluff, hoping to gain a rise out of him the way Seokjin claimed Namjoon.

Shifting your weight, you ready to leave, but Yoongi moves faster, pulling you down to lay beneath him. “Why must you be so stubborn?” He mutters as he places one hand gently over your eyes obstructing your view of him. “Please, if I am to do this don’t look. I don’t want you to remember me by this act.” His other hand takes your blood soaked palm in his grip before he finally presses his lips to the dripping wound.

The tug of his mouth on your skin is gentle lasting only for a few seconds. His tongue then starts to drift down the scarlet trails that lead across your fingers, licking every inch of your skin clean. His touch is soft and attentive, you find yourself enjoying his caress, forgetting entirely the purpose of his actions. But it’s soon brought to an end when a soft scrape of his fangs crosses your knuckles, with your immediate instinct to flinch, it incites him to draw back and apologize.

He removes himself from your hand, and turns to draw his own blood. When he goes to press it to your laceration he hesitates and gives you his assurance. “This will only heal it. Do you trust me to do that?”

You nod with a deep breath and clenched teeth, dreading this part most, you look away until the tingling sensation of the skin's repair stops. When your gaze returns to the spot you find it without flaw, for his blood had also erased the scar of Taehyung. Tears begin to prick the corner of your eyes .

Yoongi wipes at the edge of his mouth taking away the dark remnants of your blood. “I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No, quite the opposite. Thank you for taking it away.”

“I’m sorry you had to bear his marks for so long.” His lips kiss the newly healed skin of your hand before he lays down on the bed next to you. As much as he tries to hide it you can see that he’s still weary from the silver. Your fingers trace down the slowly fading burn of his throat, a rumble of contentment flowing from it as his eyes close.

Embracing the softness of the bed you were promised earlier, and far too weary to change out of your damp clothes you join him in sleep.

...

You rest for only a few hours with the sun starting to break across the horizon, shocked but grateful that no appearance of Taehyung brought halt to your peaceful slumber. Rising to close the shutters to the light, you leave Yoongi to his sleep.

You open the door a slight amount, checking to see if anyone else is about, when you find a form of kindness you had not expected on the floor in front of your room. It would seem that Namjoon must have brought food while you slept, a small collection of bread, cured meat, and fruit awaits you along with the clothes he promised. Though your current outfit is now dry, you take the fresh garments inside for a later change before you depart in the evening. The food however, barely lasts a few minutes in your presence. For you indulge hastily on the wonderful meal as you sit at the rather cluttered desk.

Naturally, the mess you made earlier in the night still remains, the contents of Yoongi bags strewn over the desk and floor. Once finished with your plate, you start to pack the clothes and supplies all away again until there are only a few items left, including a piece of folded parchment lying in the corner. You flatten it out across the surface of the workspace, reuniting yourself with Yoongi’s map.

Of course, it wasn’t always his. No, this was the map that you had made from the fragments and pages he recorded. It was intended to be a gift for him upon his return after those long six months apart. Every stroke of the pen, every hour, and every drop of ink which bled into this creation brought you so much joy. But you also remember the sorrow that led to the error, the blotch left while trying to conceal the map before the ink had set.

...

-5 years ago-

It has been seven months since Yoongi’s departure, with no whisper or hint to his whereabouts. The blood supply he had given you was fully consumed in the past fortnight. You assure your lady’s maid, whom you imparted with the knowledge of the cure, that your friend will return soon. But still you wait for him, while putting the finishing touches to the map in the form of an ornate compass rose.

With the final mark of ink in place, your mother bursts into your room, consumed by a wealth of tears. You fold the map in haste, and tuck it under a book. Thankful that she is too distraught to realize that you should be in bed and not at your desk, but the news she shares gives grave reason to her oversight. Your brother had fallen from his own earlier in the night, causing a lesion to the back of his head. Without the aid of your vampire, you know it to be a likely death sentence.

Come near dawn, you wait in the hidden passage, praying for Yoongi to show. But when the sun comes to rise without his presence, you can only hope that your brother will survive this day without the medicine he’s grown so dependent on. However, as night falls, his health worsens, and the physicians resort to bleeding him again. You try to stop them, but that only results in you being banished from his room.

With no other options left, in the late hours of night, you don another of your maid’s old dresses, tugging it out from your hiding spot, and replacing it with the finished map which now bears an unfortunate scar. Taking your usual path you escape to the town of your kingdom. Your plan, to pace every street until you find him, or another who might know of his whereabouts.

...

Your memory fails to pass the darkened cobblestone roads which frame your search. Leaving you to conclude that was when you were found by your capture of these past five years. Yoongi was right, the open night is dangerous for one such as yourself, even so he left you with little choice, he broke his promise first.

There’s a creak from the bed behind you, but you keep your focus forward on the map, still trying to piece it all together. Until two hands wrap around your waist and Yoongi’s chin comes to rest on your shoulder.

“You said you would come back.” You remain still in his arms, scolding the vampire with tears threatening to spill from your eyes. “Why didn’t you return to me as promised.”

Yoongi turns you around to face him, raising your chin with his finger. “You remember our arrangement?” You nod your response, refusing to meet his gaze, until he lowers his own head in disappointment. “There were... difficulties. I know it does not excuse my broken oath in full, but I was prevented from going to you.” He sits you back down in the desk chair and kneels before you, taking your hand in his. “Taehyung had found the hunters we were attempting to embed in his ranks. He dealt us a swift blow with their deaths, and then sent his men east, towards our fortress, and your kingdom. The keepers, such as myself, were ordered by our own lord to remain within the walls of our residences, out of concern that we might be captured and lured into giving Taehyung's clan access.”

“Then you should have sent word of your delay!” You cut in, had you known this you never would have left to find him.

“I did. I wrote a letter and sent it by raven, telling you to stay within the castle walls no matter what. That it was far too dangerous for you on the outside, and my return would be a longer wait. But I received no reply. I thought then that you did not want to hear from me, that you had chosen a different path. It was weeks before my raven returned badly injured. I feared then that my warning might have gone astray.” He sighs, as continues to recount the dark narrative. “I couldn’t remain a willing captive of my own home when I know you might be in danger. So I renounced my title, I gave away my claim and access to the stronghold. Lowering myself to the status of clan hunter so I could leave and find you. But I was too late, you were already gone and well beyond my reach. I searched your room looking for any clues as to how you ended up in his hands. I found no dress, and only that in your drawer.” He nods over to the map.

“I have spent the past five years trying to correct my mistake of not going to you sooner, for not leaving with you when you asked. But when I found you again, without your memories, I had no way of knowing the choices you made or any feelings you had previous to your captivity. I kept our past from you so as to not impact your previous decisions with my own desires. If you thought me to be a monster who groomed you for my own needs, I would back away. If you were just catering to me to save the life of your brother, I wanted you to be free of that.” His hand comes to the side of your face, with a finger dotting at a tear that had fallen from the corner of your eye. “I’m aware I don't deserve it, but please I must know. What was your decision before I let you down so horrifically, what was it that led you to be in his custody?”

“I never felt pushed to stay by you because of my brother's condition. I had no wish to marry nor leave with another, it was never simply about journeying outside the castle for an adventure. I wanted to be with you. Those six months we spent apart only confirmed what I did not wish to tell you out of worry you might dismiss those feelings too. I loved you, and still do.”

Yoongi chokes out a wavering sigh of relief, lowering your head by his hand, he presses his forehead to yours. “And I you, your highness. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I didn’t listen. I just didn’t want to unknowingly imprison you by my side with-without-”

“I know.” You whisper back. “You were right to be concerned, I was young and sheltered. I do not blame you for what happened. When the blood ran out, I could wait no longer. I had to find you. I went into the town but that is the last I remember.”

“And there you were taken.” Yoongi pulls back pausing as he bites his lip. “Now that you remember. Has your desire to return home changed?”

“I-I don’t think it can Yoongi. I still have so many gaps in my past. I hope that my return will mend that, as my time with you has brought light to our own history. Despite that, even if I was whole, the loss of my brother, it-it complicates things.”

“Your kingdom needs you to have an heir, a son to maintain the line of the crown.” He swallows glumly, as you reach out to clutch his hand. “Something that I cannot give you.”

“When my duty was just for the sake of pleasantries between kingdoms I could find it within reason to leave, but now, the kingdom’s people, the ones you’ve helped to save are at stake.”

Yoongi gives you a solemn nod. “At least now you can be certain you will not be sent away.”

“Once I return home...” You pull back, folding your hands on your lap, fidgeting while you ask the next important question of him. “Will you plan to stay nearby like before? You will not leave me alone again will you?”

“I must. With my lower position now, I will likely be sent back into Taehyung’s land again. Though I will be glad of it, for I can not stay still while he is still hunting, and risk you falling prey to him again. And for the sake of our attachment I feel that our parting would be easier on the both of us. Especially since it will not be long before you are asked to-”

“Marry?” You let out a deep breath of air in an attempt to dispel the building weight in your chest. Is he right to think that upon your return you’ll be bound to another so soon? You hope that there would be time to find yourself again, to re-educate your mind into what it was before. But how long will that take and how patient will your parents be without the line of succession secured. You can only hope any man who is chosen will be... will be, “Though I wish it to be you who remains by my side, if my future husband has half the character of you I should be so lucky.”

“Do not say that.” His voice cracks with his hushed plea.

“Why not?”

He stands up before you, pulling you from your seat, and tucking you into his chest. He holds you there while with one hand to your back, and the fingers of the other rooting amongst your hair. He breathes in deeply, whispering the challenges to his choice. “Because it’ll make leaving you so much harder. You made my cursed existence not only bearable, but desirable. When I consider the possibility of spending my life, with the one who gave me purpose, who saw me not as a monster but as a salvation, who I came to love more than I thought possible.” Yoongi lifts your head again, directing you to look up at him. “An eternity with you, is the greatest temptation of all.”

You reach up to take his face in your hands, delivering a solemn kiss to his lips before pulling away.“If we can not have eternity, what of one moment within it? One final memory together to help us through the time we must spend apart. Can you give me that? Can you give me yourself?”

Yoongi’s mouth comes down to you in search of another, the wave of passion in his approach is so much stronger and forceful than your own. His tongue, endeavouring to taste you in a far different manner than hours ago. “You already have me, my blood, my life, my love, it’s all yours.”

He picks you up and returns you to the bed with him, tugging off his oversized shirt, while you remove your own. His mouth seeks out your neck, your collarbone, and downward soon finding the peaks of your chest. He’s soft and careful not to leave a mark as his lips tug gently on your skin. With each graze of his tongue he insights an inadvertent reaction from you, in the form of a moan or twitch. As your fingers tangle in his locks, his eyes gazing up to look for your expression. “Are you sure you wish to continue?”

You lower your hand to his face, dragging your fingers across his cheek and lips. “Yes, I can’t tell you how much I desire a memory like this.”

He stands to remove your pants before lowering back down to hover over you on his hands and knees, straddling you as you lay on the feathered mattress. His fingers trail down the side of your chest, your waist, you hip, before moving inward to reach between your folds. You inhale with the first touch of his fingers to your slit. As his index starts to stroke from the inside, his thumb circles your clit. Forcing you to groan into his mouth which comes down again to cover yours.

Once he appears satisfied with the wetness pooling around his digits. He pulls out and takes his finger to his mouth with a hungry moan. Cursing as it slips out from his lips.

Your face heats up, embarrassed by his reaction. “Surely you are making too much fuss over it.”

“You think I don’t find you enjoyable? That I can’t see, feel or taste how divine you are?”

You grin, taking pleasure words despite their boastful nature. “Divine? No, you are just too kind to say otherwise.”

“Then allow me to prove you wrong.” Yoongi smirks, adjusting to take his place between your legs.

“What do you intend to-” He answers your question before you can finish, his mouth latching firmly onto your cunt. Your words lost as he takes in a long draft, his tongue playing along darts inside of you before shifting up to tease your most sensitive spot. When paired with his fingers, which once again come to stretch your inside, you do not stand more than a minute before biting the pillow to muffle your scream. Drenching his mouth and hands with your cum.

“As I said divine.” Yoongi grins as he looks up at you, his lips glistening with your fluids. After leaving you with no energy to debate his notion you can only nod and accept his truth. He cleans his fingers once again with his tongue, before sending them to undo the laces of his trousers.

When his cock slips free he takes your hand, guiding it along to stroke his shaft. His head falls back in pleasure, giving you the confidence to grow bolder. You sit up to meet him pulling his length down to glide along the outside of your folds and become wet with your slick.

You find to his mouth again with a kiss as he throbs against the inside of your legs and mound. “You are sure of this then?” He asks one last time.

“I am.” You promise looking into his eyes as he leans you back and guides his cock past your folds. The air in your throat catches, and your eyes flutter as you adapt to the sensation of him inside you.

The back of his fingers brushing at your cheek before folding out to cup your face. “Still with me?”

You nod back, pushing your lips to his upper chest and shoulder as you adjust to him. Yoongi lowers you back down to the bed, cradling your form as you descend. Finally cocooning you in a close embrace, with his nose buried in the nape of your neck.

His cock swells, and you arch your back in response, meeting his chest with yours. With his arm tucked around, he keeps you in that position. Dragging his hips away and towards, his thrusts come slow as your arousal coats his shaft. Every push becomes easier for you to take, but it would seem it’s harder for him to hold on. His forehead comes to rest on your shoulder a rasping grunt, as he remains inside. He changes tactics and turns to tend to your neck instead, slowing his pace to a halt, as he kisses the marked spot.

You take note of a low growl emitting from him as he continues to lavish the spot. He must hate it as much as you, his failure to come to you in time on display before him. But you know no amount of simple affection will remove the spot from view.

“Yoongi?” You ask in concern as his disdainful rumbles grow louder. Adjusting your head to get a glimpse of his pained face, you find a dampness forming in the duct of his eye. “Yoongi, is it-”

“I hate how he continues to mark you. It shouldn’t be here between us.”

“Then take it.” You suggest, for you like him are unable to tolerate it any longer.

He looks fearful of what you ask, his eyes wide as he explains, “I’ll need to break the skin.”

“Then do it. Please, help rid me of this too.” You tuck his head back down so his lips come to rest against your neck. No longer fearing such an act with him, not after the gentleness he showed you before.

His mouth opens with his teeth dragging across the scar. There’s a brief prick of pain before the spot is soothed by his lips. Yoongi’s groans of satisfaction start to encourage and blend with your own, his arms continuing to embrace you and coddle you.

With his still mouth fixed to your neck, you feel as his tongue turns beneath his teeth, and with a swift bite he laps his own blood on to the fresh wound. The lingering pain soon falls away as the skin heals. Your head swims in a state between dizziness and pleasure, a sense of euphoria takes over.

You place your hands on his hips wanting him to resume, craving more of his pleasure. And so the thrusts return with Yoongi’s hand pressed to the small of your back, ensuring that your clit grinds against him as he pushes deeper. He dives into you to the point where you can hear the dull thump of the bed frame against the wall. You wish you could hold on longer, you wish you didn’t have to let go, you find yourself whispering Yoongi’s name repeatedly as if it might change that. Only to be left stuttering between breaths as you claim your last climax.

He pulls out after his own release, hovering as he smiles down on the sight of you, and your legs wrapped around his thighs. After taking a moment to collect himself he goes to grab the washing dish and jug of water, dipping the supplied towel he proceeds to take care of what he left behind. You attempt to claim the cloth from him, as he lingers between your thighs, but he insists on being though. With a grin tugging at his lip each time the towel passes over your sensitive flesh and causes you to twitch.

“I will not forget this, not ever.” Yoongi whispers once finished, as he takes to your side covering you over with the blanket.

You nod in agreement, brushing the hair from his face. “When it is all done, I want you to come back to me. I don’t care how long, I have to see you again.”

“I-I will try, but I cannot promise I will survive this task. If my demise will allow me to stand between you and him then I will gladly become that barrier.” You gasp ready to argue against such a sacrifice, but one tap of his finger to your lip stops your conflict in its place, allowing him to finish. “Rest now. Think not of what we can’t change.”

You curl into Yoongi trying to do as he suggests. Though just as you get comfortable there’s an unexpected tap on the shutters of your room, a circumstance made even more surprising when you remember yourself to be on the second floor of the house. Your vampire rises, careful to open the window so no light shines on him. Allowing a raven to make its way inside.

Yoongi is quick to free it of a rolled letter attached to its foot before releasing the bird and blocking out the window behind it. As his eyes scan the paper, his brow furrows and his hand clenches the parchment to the point where it starts to crackle in his grip. He proceeds to throw back on his clothes, not even bothering to change out his torn shirt, while keeping the letter clutched in his hand.

“Yoongi, is something-”

“I need to talk to Seokjin. Stay here.” He growls bursting out the door in a formidable rage, slamming it behind him. You give time for him to descend the steps before crawling from your bed wrapped in the sheet and leaning your ear to the solid wood that bars you from the hall, but nothing can be heard through the thick barrier.

You can not help but fear what might be wrong for Yoongi to react in such a way. Going against his command you throw the clothes Namjoon left you and ready to exit your room. Carefully pulling on the latch of the door so as to not make a sound. You ease through the smallest crack you can muster before settling at top of the stairs, hidden from the view of the floor below. The voice of the vampires trailing up from the main room.

“You have her smell all over you, lucky bastard,” Seokjin groans. “How did she taste?”

Yoongi doesn’t answer the question, posing his own instead, with a rustle of parchment and a loud thump on the table. “How long, how long have you known of this?”

“Yoongi-” Seokjin responds, the uncertainty of his tone is a jarring contrast from your own previous interaction with him.

“Answer me Seokjin!”

“I couldn’t tell you, you gave up your position, because of her. You know there is information we must keep from the hunters in case it falls into the wrong hands. I’ve known this to be the truth since you first went to recover her from Taehyung. We all knew it was your primary goal to retrieve her, but I wasn’t allowed to say anything that might cause a change in course from you. If you had known you would not have led her this way.”

“So you kept me in the dark? All these years?” Yoongi seethes. “I promised I would take her home! And you're just now sharing with me that I can’t? You didn’t care if I knew the whole truth, just as long as in the end I brought her closer to the clan’s reach?”

“We can keep her safe.”

“No, she deserves her life away from us. She has been tortured enough Seokjin. How am I supposed to tell her this? She was just starting to recover, to remember her past, and to trust me again, but this... it will break her. She won’t accept this new fate if this is your only solution.”

“Then don’t tell her, don’t give her a chance to refuse. She accepted your blood, did she not? Use it to send her off to sleep and don’t wake her again until she’s resting comfortably behind the clan’s walls. You can return to your old life, Hoseok will grant you your title back if you do this, I’m sure of it. You can be the high keeper again, with your princess safe by your side.”

There’s a loud clamour and groan, prompting you to peak just around the edge to witness the struggle. There on the table, Yoongi has pinned Seokjin, his fingers wrapped around the vampire's neck.

Seokjin doesn’t appear to be too put off despite his situation, choosing instead to give advice to the one who has him by the throat. “You’re immortal Yoongi, she is not, you need to remember that. Her sadness will be only temporary if she chooses to hold it against you, but if you go against us now you will be alone, without a clan for eternity.”

Yoongi stands there in silence, no more refusals, no more rebuttals. Instead of continuing to argue on your behalf, he nods and lets Seokjin up from the table. His fellow vampire claps him on the shoulder and mutters, “You’ve made the right choice old friend. Hoseok will be pleased to have you back in the clan’s coven.”

While they embrace every part of you is lit ablaze with pain and anger. You both had been played, but he... he acquiesced to his puppeteer, and plans to string you up too. There’s nothing that could willingly compel you to take shelter in a castle full of vampires again... with Yoongi by your side though? You consider the notion for a fraction of a second before a resounding ‘no’ takes hold. Your younger self might have gone, and willingly so, but now the cost to you and your people is far too great.

With the growing list of broken promises, how long before the vow of safety fractures for the sake of his clan too? What is there to stop the situation from evolving into your own past with Taehyung? You can not, you will not endure that kind of life again.

With your only option being to run, your head concocts a plan to flee. Creeping back to the bedroom you crack the window open, and glance over the edge, thankful to see that there are several crates stacked close enough for you to reach with your feet. If you’re lucky Yoongi will stay downstairs for some time and have no reason to believe you’ve flown from his side. Fitting a spare cloak you escape out the window taking the map with you. Climbing down you flee towards the stables out back.

There you find the horse without a proper name, another painful reminder of Yoongi’s promises, and inability to return. Forcing you to recognize the constant pull between you and his clan. Your heart is left broken down the line of betrayal and understanding, for how can you entirely fault him when you yourself are determined to return to your own kingdom at the expense of his happiness. In the end the both of you are left to suffer the pain of duty over love.

Not wanting to journey with such a bitter token of the past, you choose the other smaller stead stolen from the hunters instead. Mounting the horse, you ride off into the noonday sun, eager to make it home before he or his kind have the ability to alter your course.

#bts smut #yoongi smut #yandere bts #yoongi x reader #taehyung x reader #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts thriller au #bts vampire au #yandere taehyung #min yoongi #kim taehyung #bts blood bounty #suga x reader

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sweetcathedral · 4 years ago

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🕸Haikyuu! — The Butterfly’s Ripple Effect🕸

Note: Currently a developing short story as I’m trying to figure out how to format it on tumblr, so that it’s easy to read (might take me a few months for the rough draft). The plot and ending is solidified, just need to piece together the scenes. Of course all Haikyuu characters are post-timeskip, it’s easier for me to write them as adults. It doesn’t make sense, but it will when I have the whole story down!

⚠️: blowjob, raw, forceful (?), cheating, giving in to temptation

The warmth of the sun gently wakes you up, making you flutter your lashes and wince at the brightness of the room. Memories of last night play back in your head as you pull the covers over you, but you look around to see that there was no sign of Kuroo. You hesitate to go back to sleep or look around the house to see if the others were okay from last night, since it wasn’t as loud as it should be.

“G’morning,” Kenma was leaning at the doorway with a cup of tea in his hand and a plate of omelettes in the other. “May I?”

You nodded, rubbing your eyes to fully wake you up.

“It smells nice. How are the others?”

“Oh, Kuroo’s driving them back to Sendai. The others wanted you to tag along on their road trip, but I told them that you’re probably jetlagged and needed the rest. They helped unload your stuff at the entranceway though,” he settled the tea and omelettes on the nightstand before pulling out a bed tray table from one of the drawers.

“I didn’t know you were the type to have breakfast in bed.”

“I’m not. A friend left it here last year, forgot about it and told me to keep it in the end. I just thought you’d like breakfast in bed today,” as Kenma was about to unfold the table, he paused in hesitation. It looked like he wanted to say something, but instead he lowered his head onto your lap. Thinking nothing of it, you run your fingers through his soft hair,

“Tired?”

“. . . I guess . . . I don’t know . . .”

You started humming the tune Kenma used to sing to you back then, when the two of you were still normal. The familiar feeling began to cloud your judgement, letting your fingers trace down the nape of Kenma’s neck. He immediately grabs your wrist, startling you from your trance.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he lifts his head.

“I—, sorry, I didn't mean—”

“Your food’s getting cold,” he changes the subject and continues to set up the bed table, arranging the tea and omelette. Before he was able to leave the bed, you reach for his hand,

“Kenma, wait . . .” the words you’ve always wanted to tell him is caught in your throat, “. . . I’m sor—!”

His hands clamp over your mouth as he gently kisses your forehead, softly dragging his cold fingers down to your throat. Unable to shake off the way it made you feel, he left you in silence.

After closing the door, Kenma briskly walked towards the bathroom, turned the faucet on and locked himself in. He leans against the door, slowly sliding down to the floor and pulled his hoodie completely over his head,

“. . . what am I doing? . . .” he sighs, pressing his head into his folded hands.

A moment later, the sound of your footsteps makes him jolt back up to turn the faucet off. He opens the door to see you standing there, knees clasped together.

“Don’t just stand there, move!” you push through him to get to the toilet and quickly kicked your panties off, landing at Kenma’s feet. “Phew, okay, you can leave now.”

Just as you finished cleaning yourself up, he picks up your wet stained panties.

“Hey! Give me those!” you tried grabbing them back from him, while covering yourself.

Fuck it. Kenma decided to cross the line he drew for himself. At this point it didn’t matter to him anymore, nothing mattered to him anymore. Everything that’s been holding him back has reached its limit, and he was more than ready to risk it all.

“What, it’s not like this is my first time seeing you naked.”

“Kuroo can walk in at any moment,” you argued back.

“He left two hours ago. It takes a total of eight hours driving to and from Sendai, plus the amount of stops he probably took to settle them down,” he quietly closes the door. “Which means I’ve about six hours to have you all to myself.”

The weight of Kenma’s words dawned on you. The sound of your heartbeat echoes in your ears, racing at the pace things were moving in. It’s only been a day since you got back, but Kenma had been displaying signs of temptation. You knew he was selfish, but you didn't know he can be this selfish—to the point of sleeping with his best friend’s girlfriend. Maybe you should’ve set the boundaries right then and there when you and Kuroo told him about your relationship. But you’ve been sleeping around with Kenma for so long that you didn’t realize that these things weren’t normal for someone in a relationship. It wasn’t right at all, especially to Kuroo. It’s cheating, but—

“Don’t worry, it’ll just be between you and me. I promise,” Kenma cups your face so that your eyes meet with his and draws you into a kiss. You quickly pull away from him,

“Kenma, we can’t. You know we can’t, I’m dating Kuroo, and . . .this is cheating—”

“Only if we get caught,” his fingers trace up your thighs.

You grip his wrist with trembling hands.

“Kenma . . . please, I—I can only hold back so much,” your voice begins to break.

“Do you trust me?” he pauses, waiting for your reply.

With guilt, you shyly nodded.

“That’s my good girl,” he lifts you up onto the edge of the sink. Kissing you along your neck and collarbones.

“Not there, you’ll leave a mark,” you stop him.

“Right, . . . sorry,” he pouts. With how far you’ve already taken the situation, you decided to let go of all senses of your morals.

“Come here,” you reach for his face, pulling him back into a kiss. Shocked that you took the lead, but relieved, he places his hand on your wet spot. The feeling of his fingers brushing over your clit makes you throb inside.

“Look at how messy you’re getting and I haven’t even put my fingers in you yet,” he crosses his fingers. “I know you like it when I do this.”

The twisting motion inside you sends waves of pleasure throughout your body, making your toes curl. Hot breaths escape your wet lips, feeling yourself come closer to ecstasy. Before you could reach your climax, Kenma pulls his fingers out.

“No, no no,” you whined.

“What’s wrong?” he cocked his head, knowing damn well what he’s doing. “You know begging doesn’t work on me, you need to show that you want it.” He leans in closer to your blushing ear. “Now get on those pretty knees of yours.”

The glazed look in your eyes catches Kenma’s attention. A smirk tugs across his face, gently gripping your throat, embracing you into another wet kiss. His teeth softly grazes your bottom lip as he pulls away. Reluctantly, you get on your knees.

You work your tongue, stroking up and down his cock. “Fuck,” he grunts, giving you a sense of pride. Impatiently, you start to touch yourself to relieve that aching feeling,

“Ah, ah, ah,” Kenma pulls you by the hair to get you off his cock. He grabs both of your wrists and pins them over your head against the edge of the sink, preventing you from touching yourself. “I’m not gonna let you take that satisfaction away from me. Now open your mouth nice and wide, and stick your tongue out.”

Your hips squirm and tremble, doing as he says.

“Hrmph!” the impact of his cock thrusts to the back of your throat, his grip tightening around your wrists. Tears stream down your cheeks and saliva dribbles down your chin, taking in every thrust he gives you. You choke on his load, filling you so much that you can’t do anything but swallow.

“You think I’m done?” he pushes you to the floor and turns you over, pinning one leg to your chest. The glint in his eyes tells you how long he’s been waiting for this moment. A single, long, moment to put you in a sloppy daze. You can feel his thumb brushing over your slick folds before pressing it in. Although you’re already a soaking mess down there, he wants to make sure you're fully prepped before going in raw.

“Don’t forget, I have you all to myself for more than a few hours,” he says in your ear as he slowly penetrates you. The tip hits you in the right spot making your walls flutter. Only the sound of your panting and moaning escape your lips.

You forgot how rough Kenma gets when his stress builds up and he has nowhere to vent it off on, but that privilege was taken away from him when you and Kuroo started your relationship. Admittedly, you miss Kenma from before he knew about your relationship with his best friend. You didn’t know how he truly felt about it and didn’t want to ask. You avoided wanting to ask ‘cause you’re scared about knowing how he really feels. The day you confronted him about it was also when he started to become distant and detached from you.

Slowly, your mind enters a daze, getting lost in the comfort you find from his guilty pleasure.

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chronicallycrow · 3 years ago

Text

Cards.

Fandom: Cookie Run

Character(s): Cinnamon Cookie

Ship(s): Cinnamon/Reader

Word Count: 2,166

TW: Uhh,,, tarot reading? If that sets anyone off?

Notes: Hey, Cinnamon, thanks for being the character that got me out of my "I'm writing 1k words or less" fic phase./j Anyway, this started as an idea I mentioned on my main - Black-market tarot reading Cinnamon. It ended up a lot cuter than I thought it would, and made me write a HELL of a lot more than I have in a LONG time. Oh, and, I use he/they pronouns for Cinnamon! They alternate every paragraph. And, once again, I'm sorry for the weird formatting, mobile tumblr and all. Again, I don't currently have access to a computer.

The City of Wizards was an interesting place. It always had a specific feel to it, and it was always somehow shrouded in darkness yet bright. Saying you loved this place might have been an understatement. There weren't many people who lived in the town anymore - Some people thought no one did - But you knew there were people, and you knew exactly where to go to find them. And that's what you were currently doing.

You strolled through the city, looking for one place in particular. It was near one of the further corners of the town - A small little magic shop that sat inbetween two buildings that were vacant. You could miss it if you didn't know what you were looking for - The sign, with that ever-so-slightly too fancy font, fit into the rest of the town, and the windows being full of little trinkets did as well.

You turned on your heel and turned the door knob, immediately being hit by the scent of incense and cinnamon. You walked into the shop and closed the door, calling out, "Cinna?" A hum came from behind one of the shelves, and out appeared the devil themself, Cinnamon. "Hey!" You stated simply. They smiled at you and returned your greeting before asking, "Do you need anything, or are you just here to look around?" Either was fine by them - And you knew that. There was many a day where you'd sit in the shop or just look through what Cinnamon had in stock.

"Well, I-' He seemed surprised you actually wanted something, but not in a bad way. "I was actually wondering if you could-- Give me a reading? With your tarot cards?" He was a bit taken back, but seemed pleased with your request. "Of course! Right this way." He did that over-dramatic cape swish thing. It always reminded you he loved to entertain people when he did that. You followed him to a small room in the back where he did readings - Few people knew about it, but of course few people came in the near vicinity of his shop.

A table sat in the middle with some boxes and a mat laid on it. Cinnamon sat down on one side and gestured you to sit in the chair on the other side. You'd never actually gotten a reading from them, but apparently they were actually pretty good at it. They opened a box and pulled out a deck of golden-edged cards, the backs were purple. They tapped at the sides, before looking at you. "What do you want to know?" "My love life-" You blurted out before anything else. You covered your mouth, wide eyed. Why had you said that?! Cinnamon seemed to be amused by this and let out a soft laugh before beginning to shuffle the cards.

He did the card-fan thing. "Pick a card, any card!" You let out a soft laugh before grabbing one. He placed it face down on the table before shuffling the cards some more. He pulled and shuffled a handful of times, ending up with a spread of six cards. He flipped over the card you'd pulled. The card read, 'The Fool.' "This card," Cinnamon began, picking it up and turning it towards you, "represents you. It's a card that means new beginnings and new possibilities. It can also mean impulsiveness. The Fool is..." Cinnamon glanced up for a moment, before looking you in the eyes. "The Fool is a free spirit who doesn't know exactly what they want, but is willing to try anything to find the right path." And with that, he placed the card back down onto the table.

They flipped over the next card; it read 'The Magician.' "This card represents the person who... You're going to be with? Who you like? This is the other person." They turned it towards you. "You're a magician." You joked, giving a soft breath of a laugh. Cinnamon's face turned a soft shade of red from your comment, but continued on. (Little did either of you know that little joke was closer to the truth than either of you could think right now.) "It symbolizes being original, and confidence and skills. They might be extremely confident in their actions, and they're probably skilled in something." You placed your chin in your palm, staring at the card, then at Cinnamon.

He went to the next card. It read 'The Lovers.' "This card represents you and that person's bond." He stated. "That's good, isn't it?" He nodded in response before starting, "This card represents, well, love. It can also mean trust and harmany." "But I'm not in a relationship with anyone?" You mused. He shrugged. "You probably already know them and just trust them a lot. You two are probably already really close." You nodded, but something pulled at your conciousness. What if your joke was actually true? If he was the one representing the magician? "Hey," He waved a hand infront of your face, "Are you alright?" "Yeah, sorry- Go on." You sat back, and he turned over the next card.

The card read 'six of cups.' "This is your past with them, it represents nostalgia and, in this case, an old friend." You nodded, humming. "It seems like you two have known each other for a long time and trust eachother a lot." They stated simply. You traced a circle on the table with your hand. It was suddenly very hard to look at Cinnamon.

He turned over the next card. There was one more after this and you'd be done. It read 'two of cups.' Cinnamon let out a soft laugh. You tilted your head, actually meeting his eyes for a second. "This is your future with this person. The two of cups represents happy relationships and love. When you two get into a relationship it'll be a good one. I'm jealous." He said jokingly. You let out a small laugh. Your face was hot.

They finally turned over the last card. It read 'King of Wands.' "This card is advice for you." You tilted your head again, murmuring a soft, but non-demanding, "Well?" "I think in this context it's telling you you should be honest with them and tell them. It represents honesty and charm." You blinked. Cinnamon looked at the spread, then bagan to put the cards up. You looked down at your hands for a minute. Be honest? You hadn't excepted that. You didn't even realize you were-- Of course you were. Cinnamon was your closest friend. They stood up, snapping you out of your own thoughts. You stood as well. "Do you need anything else?" They asked, walking towards the door. "I don't think so- Here, let me-" You dug around your bag for a minute for your wallet. "No, it's fine-" "Are you sure?" They nodded.

You two got out into the main part of the shop, and you realized the time. It was dark outside by now - Actually dark. "Hey, Cinna?" He looked at you. "Can I spend the night - It's- It's gonna be dark out and I have to walk home. I don't think that's safe." Without thought he spoke, "Of course- Let me close up shop and we'll go upstairs and make dinner." You nodded and decided to look around while he did so. You found the two shop cats, one a black cat and one an orange cat. "You have cats?" You called. He walked over to you, kneeling down to pet one of them. "Yeah! I thought you knew?" You shook your head. "This is Pumpkin," He pointed towards the orange one. "She's new, so she doesn't have a name yet," He sighed. "Maybe you can name her later?" You nodded, "I'll see what I can come up with." With that the two of you headed up the stairs to Cinnamon's apartment.

It was a nice little space. You'd been up here before, but you'd never actually spent the night. They went into the kitchen while you looked around, eventually landing near Cinnamon Bunny's cage and giving them some pets. Cinnamon's apartment always smelt nice. They always smelt nice - It was that soft smell of a pastry shop that used a lot of cinnamon. They seemed to have the stuff everywhere, but you weren't going to complain too much - Unless it was another one of their shows where someone got too close and sneezed. Sometimes, in practice, when you'd watch them, they'd sneeze and mess up their tricks. You found it endearing.

"[Y/N]?" Cinnamon called. "Yeah?" "Food's ready." You walked into the kitchen. He'd made a full meal for you two, and honest to Millennial Tree it looked amazing. It tasted even better. You'd had Cinnamon's cooking on occasion, but never an actual meal made by him. As soon as you two had finished the oven beeped. He looked pleased. "I preheated it, if you want to make something for tomorrow morning?" You nodded, and followed him into the kitchen, placing your plate and silverware into the sink. He pulled out a series of things from multiple cupboards and cabinets, then grabbed out aprons and handed you one.

You two ended up making a mess while baking. There was flour everywhere, but you two were both laughing. They ended up getting two brooms, and you swept up the mess you made. Once that was done they looked over the both of you. "We should get cleaned up," they laughed. You nodded, before realizing something. "Cinna, I don't have-" "You can borrow some of my clothes." They hummed. You nodded, and they went off to get some, shouting back at you, "You can go take a shower if you want, I'll bring them to you." You did exactly that.

You felt much cleaner once done with the shower. He had left you a shirt that looked like it would be too big for him (or you) and a pair of sweatpants. You put them on, and were immediately ingulfed by that soft scent of cinnamon. You tried your hardest not to bury your nose in the clothing, instead leaving the bathroom. You were met with Cinnamon sitting on the couch, playing around with a deck of cards. You sat beside him, watching his hands as he played with the deck. "Are those alright?" He asked, flicking one card around. You nodded, letting out an "mh-hm." He got up then, and glanced at you. "I'm gonna go take a shower, too. I'll be back."

You ended up trying to do the tricks you saw Cinnamon do with the previously mentioned deck of cards. You failed at every one of them, but it gave you time to waste. Your mind did end up drifting back to the reading earlier. Cinnamon had to feel the same way, right? If the cards were anything to go by, they had to. You sighed and put the playing cards down, staring up. You then realized that you'd have to be sleeping on the couch - Not that you really minded. You knew they didn't have a guest room or an extra bed. Before you could get too lost in your thoughts Cinnamon appeared again. They were wearing about the same thing as you. The oven dinged. Convenient.

"I'll sleep on the couch and you can have the bed, by the way." He'd stated, as if he'd read your mind earlier, while pulling out the pan of cinnamon rolls. What else did you think he'd make? "No, I can- It's fine." You replied. He shook his head. "You're the guest, you should get the bed." He was pouring a light sugar icing on the rolls. "I-" Be more confident, the cards. "We could just-- Share the bed? Its big enough for that, right?" Cinnamon glanced at you, before letting out a small sigh. It was hard to tell if it was of content or annoyance that you didn't just take the bed alone. "Yeah, it is- That's fine."

Once the rolls had been fully iced and put in the fridge you two headed to Cinnamon's bedroom and got in their bed. You faced away from eachother, at least at first, but you decided to, again, take what the cards said, and turned towards them. Their back was facing towards you. "Cinna?" You murmured, shifting closer to them. They let out a hum, glancing back at you. You suddenly felt extremely hot. No going back now. "I-" You took a breath in. Dammit. Say it. "I think the cards were talking about you??" Why was that a question. They let out a small laugh and turned towards you. "I know." They responded simply before pulling you close to them. "Goodnight." And with that, they closed their eyes and drifted into sleep. You stayed there, dumbfounded for a couple of minutes, before just accepting it and murmuring a, "goodnight" back and getting to sleep. You two could properly talk this out in the morning.

#cookie run #cookie run ovenbreak #cinnamon cookie #crob #ovenbreak #cr ovenbreak #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader fanfic #x reader #cookie run x reader #AM writes

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fanfalc-616 · 3 years ago

Text

Time For Amnesia

Chapter Nine: Ice, Electricity, And Painful Injuries

(Previous Chapter Here)

Uhhh ok so I was working on the new chapter and I realized I never even posted chapter nine (on tumblr anyway it’s on ao3-). But uh yeah here it is,,, I’ll post ten (which I finally completed!!) tomorrow.

Also yes this is my new format for all fanfics hsjshdh

Eventually, Nya comes in, looking concerned.

“It’s getting late.” She notes, choosing not to comment on however she feels about how he’s been acting.

Kai nods. “Where am I sleeping?” A sudden thought strikes him. “I- I don’t sleep with… them, do I?”

Nya seems uncomfortable. “We agreed that that would be a bad idea, and before you got together, you used to stay in a different room- the room you woke up in. And-“

“Alright, I’ll just go there and go to bed.” Kai gets up from his spot on the floor.

After pausing for a moment, Nya nods. “Do you need me to show you where it is, or-“

He shakes his head. “I remember.” Without waiting for a response, he heads off to the room, silently grateful for the fact that he’s not going to have to spend the night with the others.

He’s only just sat down when there’s a knock.

Groaning, he gets up and walks over to the entryway, opening the door.

Cole stands there with a small, slight forced smile, holding a set of striped red pajamas. “These are for you.”

Eyeing him warily, Kai takes them. “Uh, th- thanks.” He stutters out, trying to ignore the way his mind flashes back to how he watched him make out with Zane.

“Are you okay? Your face is really red.”

Shit.

“Yeah I’m fine everything’s fine you should go now bye.” Kai blurts out in a rush. As soon as the words have left his mouth, he slams the door shut in his face.

Well, that solved absolutely nothing.

He has enough emotions going on- these people are crazy, and he doesn’t want to have to get to know them or have anything to do with them!

So why is his heart racing? Why does he feel like this?! He doesn’t want to like these assholes, he wants to be able to threaten to skewer them and actually mean it!

With a quiet grumble, he starts getting changed- but he almost drops the pajama shirt when he looks down at his torso.

Since when did he have a six-pack?! It’s not defined like a bodybuilder’s or anything, but he’s definitely got some strong muscles there.

Shaking his head, he goes back to putting on his pajamas. He must seriously work out a lot.

Well, if he’s a ninja savior of Ninjago, then he’s probably going to have to be in good shape.

Sighing, he turns off the light and gets on the bed. Curling up under the covers, he closes his eyes and tries to drift off.

If he’s lucky, maybe he’ll wake up back at home.

—————————

Kai wakes up in the red bed he went to sleep in.

Drat.

With a sigh, he gets up from the bed, and just as he does, the door opens.

Jay stands there, a nervous smile on his face. “I, uh… I guess your internal clock still works. But, uh, it’s breakfast time, so-“

With a groan, Kai walks over to him. “Alright, let’s go eat.” He grumbles.

He pretends not to notice how Jay tries to hold his hand, and after a moment, he stops trying to take it, and Kai ignores how that sparks guilt inside of him. It’s fine, he doesn’t care. He shouldn’t feel bad, he doesn’t even know him!

They’ve only just reached the dining room when an alarm starts blaring. Kai immediately feels himself switch into a fight-or-flight mode, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

Then Nya’s voice comes on over the comms. “Everyone to the bridge! Now!”

Jay tenses up. “C’mon!” Without waiting for a response, he takes off running, leaving Kai to chase him down the halls.

When they arrive at the bridge, everyone else is already there.

Zane immediately starts talking. “There appears to be a genetically engineered snake being used to terrorize New Ninjago City. From what we can tell, it was created by-“

“Cut to the chase!” Nya interrupts.

Lloyd shakes his head. “No, we have comms, we can get an explanation on the way. Let’s go!”

There’s hardly a pause before they all race out of the room- but Lloyd peeks back around the corner to look at him. “You- you just wait here, okay?”

Kai doesn’t get a chance to respond before the blond runs off, leaving him alone.

What the hell just happened?

Still trying to process things, he decides to go into the living room and see if he can watch what’s going on in the news. Whatever’s going on, it seems like a big deal.

So he walks in and turns on the TV, waiting for an explanation to be given.

He watches as a reporter- Gayle Gossip, she said her name was- shows some weird ice snake thing attacking the city. Listening carefully, he can just make out some words that the ninja are saying as they try to stop it.

“- weakness to heat-“

“-Zane, fall back-“

“MOVE!”

Kai stares in horror as he watches Nya get thrown from her vehicle and tossed into a building.

Something in him screams at him to move, and he listens to it, getting up from the couch and scrambling off to wherever the hell his instinct is taking him.

He finds himself in some kind of little launchpad like area for vehicles, and finds himself gravitating towards a red motorcycle.

Oh, what is he doing? He’s not seriously going to try and fight the ice snake, is he?

Yeah. Yeah, he is. Because no one messes with his little sister.

Kai starts up the bike and continues to trust his instincts, just doing whatever feels right.

Which is how he ends up screaming his head off while he falls from the sky on the motorcycle.

The bike falls out from under him, and Kai finds himself flailing about, still screaming.

Until he feels himself get grabbed, and a loud grunt escapes him as he scrambles for purchase on whatever he just fell onto.

He blinks a few times as he realizes that he’s on a- on a dragon what the hell-

Clinging to the rider of the dragon, he feels his eyes widen as he recognizes them.

“Zane?”

The robot looks back at him. “Kai?” He seems shocked. “You were supposed to wait on the ship!”

Before the brunet gets the chance to respond, the tail of the ice snake is suddenly striking towards them, and Zane has the dragon dip, trying to avoid it.

But it’s a rocky move, and they still get hit, the dragon literally disappearing under them.

Kai hits the ground with a loud thudding noise, but luckily enough, he doesn’t seem to be too badly hurt.

He gets to his feet, and Zane quickly runs up to him, getting in close.

Kai’s about to brush him off, but he’s caught off guard by his eyes. His bright blue eyes that glow, and the deep concern behind them as they stare into his own.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” His voice is gentle, full of concern and softness.

Kai swallows, but doesn’t answer, still captivated by the glowing blue irises that seem to stare through to his soul.

“Kai? Please, are you okay?”

He nods shakily, unsure why he’s so affected by something as minor as eye contact.

“I’m going to scan you.” Zane decides, setting a hand on his shoulder. His eyes flicker a little as he looks Kai up and down, a thin band of light emitting from them and falling over Kai’s figure.

And that’s when he snaps out of it.

Stepping away, he shoves Zane back, putting his arms out in front of him in defense. “Woah there, I did not agree to be scanned! So keep that little light show to yourself!”

The robot blinks a few times as he steps back, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. “My apologies, I was only trying to-“

The snake’s tail slams into a building, sending wreckage flying everywhere. With a mumbled complaint that Kai can’t quite make out, Zane pulls him aside. “Stay out of trouble. I’ll return when the fight is over.”

Without waiting for a response, he runs off, leaving Kai alone.

He stands there for a few moments, looking around the torn up alley and listening to the nearby noises of combat. Something inside him is itching to go follow, and after a moment of consideration, he runs off towards the battle.

As soon as he gets close, he’s forced to dodge and duck behind some debris to avoid getting frozen by an icy blast. So it’s an ice creature, then?

… fire melts ice, right? Maybe if Kai can get close, he-

“Kai?! What are you doing here?!” Jay shouts, grabbing his arm and pulling him out of the way of an attack.

“I’m helping!” Kai defends himself as the ginger uses a blast of lightning to shatter a large chunk of ice that had been flying towards them.

“No! No, you are not! I’m going to have to protect you instead of actually concentrating on the fight! Why didn’t you stay on the ship?!” Jay glares, grabbing Kai by the wrist and pulling him along.

“So I could come help!” The two of them narrowly miss getting impaled by flying concrete as they duck behind a still-intact building.

Jay looks downright furious- an expression that almost looks cute on his baby-ish face. “We have just covered that you are not helping! Not. Helping. Not helping at all!”

Kai feels his face flush some at the scrunched up nose and the way his cheeks puff out. Still, he manages to defend himself. “It’s ice and I have fire powers!”

Grabbing him again, Jay drags him around as they avoid getting impaled by debris created by the snake. “If this snake doesn’t kill you, I will! And if it does, I’ll resurrect you and kill you again!”

Kai arches an eyebrow at the statement. “Aren’t you supposed to be in love with me?” He complains.

Jay gives him a look. “It’s because I love you that I threaten to kill you. Because apparently threatening is your love language.”

“Huh?”

“You do it all the ti- LOOK OUT!” Jay tackles him, sending a blast of lightning at the the tail of the snake that’s crashing down-

Everything goes bright white, and pain wracks his body, making him cry out. They manage to avoid getting crushed, but only just, and the two of them end up sprawled on the ground.

Kai feels himself twitch some, all of his hair on end. Groaning, he glances over at Jay, who’s getting to his feet.

The ginger’s eyes widen as he looks at Kai. “Shit, I- are you okay?! I didn’t mean to shock you!”

He got shocked? Hmm. That would explain the excruciating pain.

With a groan, he forces himself to sit up. “ ‘m doin’ g-great.” He gets out, ignoring his blurry vision as he struggles to his feet.

“Kai-“

Jay is cut off when the snake is suddenly whipping back through, hitting the ginger clear across the alley- and the only reason he stopped there is because of a wall.

Kai winces as he watches Jay get slammed into the concrete. That can’t feel good.

Then again, he’s not exactly in peak condition either.

He struggles to get up a few times before resolving to just lay there. Jay will come get him in a minute, and even though it’s concrete, the ground feels awfully comfortable…

Even as his vision grows more and more blurred, he manages to make out several sets of combat boots, and then someone is picking him up, dragging him away.

Kai lets them, closing his eyes. It’s probably just Cole… yeah, Cole wears black, and is definitely strong enough to carry him around. That would make sense.

The world starts to fade, and Kai doesn’t bother trying to hold onto it.

Everything hurts, and it would be so much easier to ignore it and drift away…

And that’s exactly what he does.

#ninjago fanfiction #fanfiction #time for amnesia au

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sp-ud · 3 years ago

Text

Waking Up

AO3 Link

Inspired by this post: Link

And my own post about this concept: Link

Content Warnings: Panic Attacks, Memory Loss

Words: 1817

Ranboo suddenly finds himself back in reality with his hands in the middle of braiding his own hair. Not the worst thing he’s woken up to after Enderwalking. He lets out a sigh as he continues braiding his hair, eyes drifting towards the ceiling as he reflects on what he can remember doing while Enderwalking.

Wuh oh.

---

This is basically me sharing my theories about Enderwalking in fic format. That's kinda it. I took my theories, and wrote em as a fic.

I also posted this at 3am which is why it took me till 2pm to make a proper Tumblr post about it.

Wuh oh.

Quickly tying off the braid he grabs the memory book. Reading through page 13 again. “New table”? Axe feeling lighter? Eye inside a block? Eye that looks his? Now, Ranboo might not know a lot about his Enderman heritage, but he knows a portal when he's described one.

Lightly smacking his face, Ranboo tries to shift through the foggy memories he always has after Enderwalking. Memories where he feels like a passenger, not the one experiencing it. He… he was mining. Just chatting with those particles of his, when he came across an exposed stronghold. He went to investigate… finding the portal but not recognizing it in his Enderwalk state.

Ranboo starts to head downstairs as he digs through his memories more, he’d… he’d realized the portal would probably help with the experiments he did while Enderwalking but had left to build a lab another day.

… Has he already built the lab? Yes, he has. Replacing the stone walls with iron and setting up what he’d discovered as ‘the solution’ to Enderwalking. Without having to remember, Ranboo can already tell he hadn’t gone through with it while Enderwalking. Otherwise, he would have woken up in the lab. Or in his bed from respawning, after all, his Enderwalking self didn’t seem to realize some of the multiple flaws in his solution.

But Ranboo is too scared to correct his Enderwalking self. It’s already taken him ages to convince his Enderwalking self that he isn’t some evil dissociative state that committed war crimes he can’t remember. He doesn’t want to imagine how it’d go over trying to inform his Enderwalking state he has it backward.

Sliding down into his basement he quickly mines through the wall to get the experiment log he's written in Ender. Flipping all the way to the last page where he’s written the solution. He pulls out a pen from his pocket and holds it hesitantly over the page.

He knows how he is when Enderwalking. A paranoid anxious mess with less than half of his memory. If he sees this when Enderwalking, he’d freak out, he’d get suspicious, and then probably do it anyways.

Reluctantly, he hides the experiment log back away, sealing it back behind stone bricks. He has to tell someone he both trusts out of Enderwalk, and in Enderwalk.

Which is admittedly a short list of people. Phil would be good, but the old man would likely ask too many questions he doesn't know how to answer. Techno, while also a good option, is also currently hibernating. And would likely pass the message onto Phil.

Niki would be an option if the two crossed paths more often, and Tommy has so many issues of his own right now, he doesn't need Ranboo's. The particles, while well meaning, are honestly more of a nuisance who would likely just increase any suspicion.

Which only really leaves one other person, Tubbo. Who, while Ranboo loves his husband, still isn't the perfect option for this, is the best he honestly has.

Someone he trusts, who will listen, who will understand, and who'll actually be able to help. The only issue is Tubbo himself might want to experiment, Ranboo personally still is a little salty over the whole electric chair thing. But hopefully the moobloom-hybrid wilk put aside his scientific interests for the sake of Ranboo's wellbeing.

Not wanting to waste any more precious time he has before falling back into Enderwalk, Ranboo leaves his house as fast as he can after quickly snapping on his armor.

The journey to Snowchester is quick, one he likes to thinks he'd still know even if he had no memories. By the time the water tunnel has shot him back out, it feels like barely a minute has passed since he woke up.

Letting his enchanted armor drip off the water, Ranboo quickly starts towards the mansion where, if his memory serves him right, should be where Tubbo is currently.

"TUBBO!" He shouts as soon as he enters the mansion, yelling being the most efficient way to locate someone in the massive building. His long ears strain themselves to listen for a shout back.

"I'M IN THE UPSTAIRS GUEST ROOMS!" The ender-hybrid hears distantly, darting up the stairs as fast as he can. "THE ONES NEAR OUR ROOM!" Tubbo shouts once more, Ranboo quickly taking a left.

He almost bumps into Tubbo as the moobloom-hybird steps out into the hallway. Luckily scrambling to a stop just before bowling the smaller teen over. He rests a hand against the wall, somewhat hunching over as he tries to catch his breath.

"You good bossman? Something wrong?" Tubbo asks, taking a small step towards Ranboo. The taller huffs a few more breaths before holding his other hand up to tell Tubbo to wait a second.

"It's…" he starts, before taking a deep breath and straightening up, "It's… oh God, I was so focused on getting here quickly that um, didn't really think through how to explain this all…" his tail flicks restlessly behind him.

Tubbo hums to himself for a second, "This is a sit-down kind of thing, isn't it?" Ranboo gives a small nod, "Good thing I just set up yet another 'sitting area earlier today, come on," the brunette grabs Ranboo's hand and gently drags him further down the hallway before opening a door with dramatic flourish.

It's another room consisting of multiple sofas and chairs around a coffee table. The amount of rooms they have that look like this is honestly concerning, but at least Tubbo has enough eye for design that they all are clearly different. Much less confusing than the identical empty rooms Foolish left them with.

Ranboo all but collapses onto one of the couches, Tubbo taking a seat across from him. The brunette's mouth is twisting in worry, nose scrunching up as watches Ranboo through messy bangs.

"Okay," a sigh escapes the ender-hybrid, "I, I guess the best place to start would be… explaining my… condition?" He still isn't sure what the right term for Enderwalking is as there's next to no public documents on the topic. "So, you know how I have bad memory?"

A slight snort before a nod tell Ranboo to continue, "Well that's, that's just one symptom of my, condition. The Enderwalk. It's genetic, I'm pretty sure. There's uh, not much known about it," Ranboo starts messing with the furred tip of his tail, "But it's basically a, a state I go into? I guess? And it…" he trails off.

How does he explain to his best friend, his husband, that the 'him' he always interacts with isn't 100% 'him'. His mouth hangs open before snapping shut, shaking his head a little. Tubbo won't hate him for something out of his control, Tubbo is reasonable, he's smart, he's a good person.

Another glance at Tubbo shows that the moobloom-hybrid now has a serious look on his face, leaning forward, waiting for Ranboo to continue.

"It doesn't just affect my memory. It, it can affect my judgment, my reasoning. And it worsens with age," Ranboo focuses his gaze back down to his tail flicking in his own grasp, "and, don't get me wrong, I'm still me when Enderwalking I'm just…" he loses his words again. Letting a silence fall over the room.

"Okay," Ranboo looks up. Tubbo has a hand to his chin in thought. "okay, I get what you're saying. Plenty of species have illnesses like that," the ender-hybrid nods, "and I'm glad you told me but, why now?" A hint of light blue eyes peer through messy bangs, "did something happen?"

"More like… something's been happening but it's, it's close to becoming worse." He shifts on the couch, once again struggling to find the right words, "I'm Enderwalking all the time… I'd say that you uh, you probably see me Enderwalking more than you see me normally," he pauses to swallow. "When Enderwalking I, I dont realize I'm Enderwalking," a humorless laugh escapes him. "I don't even have half of my memories then. I managed to forget what Enderwalking even is! And somehow," his voice is starting to go static with anger, "I managed to come up with the name again, while Enderwalking, to explain my normal state!"

He hunches over, burying his head between his knees as he lets out static-filled laughs. His ears no longer hearing anything other than a growing buzz. Hands gripping and twisting his hair as his laughs start to devolve into something more like sobs.

A light weight settles over his shoulders and back, hands slowly unclenching his hair to drift down to wrap the blanket around himself. He feels a head rest itself on his shoulders, following the deep breaths he can feel carefully. His tail loosely wraps around a waist before small hooved finger tips start bruising through it.

"Sorry," he mutters. Tubbo hums, leaning his head more onto Ranboo's shoulder.

"Nothing to be sorry about, it sounds like… a lot," Tubbo says back, "You sure you want to talk about this now big man?"

The ender-hybrid nods, tilting his head to somewhat rest on top of Tubbo's, the smaller's dull horns pressing into his face. "I don't know when I'll start Enderwalking again, I have to tell you now before I forget again."

"As long as you're sure," Tubbo replies with a shrug, but Ranboo can still hear the concern under the layer of dismissiveness.

"When Enderwalking I've, starting to experiment on myself. It's progressively gotten more… intense, to put it simply. My Enderwalking self thinks he's found a solution, to stop from 'Enderwalking' but," Ranboo pulls back, doing his best to make direct eye contact with Tubbo, "the 'solution'? It's, I know what it's going to do! It will just make the Enderwalk worse. I'll probably be down to only a quarter of my memories! I might even, even lose a life."

Ranboo's eyes loss focus as his panic starts to build before he feels Tubbo's dull horns pressing into his chest and arms wrapping him in a loose hug.

"That's what you wanted to tell me, right?" Tubbo sighs, "you want me to make sure that you don't go through with it while Enderwalking?" Ranboo lets out what's supposed to be a hum that ends up sounding more like a buzz in response.

"Don't worry bossman, you can count on me," Tubbo tightens his hug and Ranboo can slowly feel the fog that comes with Enderwalking creep in.

"I know, I always know," he responds, before letting himself drift into the fog.

#idk how u post fics on tumblr #i hope i didi this right #dsmp #ranboo #tubbo #enderwalk #dsmp fanfic #spud's writing

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normalcartoonic · 3 years ago

Text

I’m sorry...

Hello there, I know I won't be accepted forgiveness right away as I have a feeling you don't trust me, but I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being pushy, I'm sorry for complaining, I'm sorry if I hurt you, I'm just sorry for everything. All I am is a loser with low self esteem that complains from time to time that everyone thinks I'm a liar. And I can't blame you as I feel like I'm a nobody to anybody. All I want was trying to be best person, but everything just pushes me down that I don't know who I am anymore.

Ever since I joined the internet, I've been worrying that there's a few people that would try to push me down that I can't think properly and feel like I'm nothing. Sometimes I would just push it aside and take a glimpse and take account on it's about. But he most recent event that dragged me down that made me felt like I don't belonged was around late 2019 when a friend showed me a callout post that some random person on the internet about me. I don't even know about this user until my friend showed me the journal. Most of the stuff the user said about me I can understand and I can't deny it as they exploit I draw some things people don't like (SOME things). But I felt like the user wasn't telling the entire truth as they showed that my naughty stuff (mainly pinups) weren't filtered, which is unture as I actually put some of the art under a mature filter. Either the artist may've had the mature filter off or just want to lie. Either way, I made some posts about it and all the user did was trying to make it worse. Not only that, but I found out that there's a blog on tumblr that calls out certain Mr. Men fandom users for actions they don't like, mainly those that possibly hate for not being pure, and I was in it. I didn't thought about it for a while until a week or two ago after I saw some Mr. Men servers on tumblr that I wanted to join and see who was part of it. But after trying to join, I was unexpectedly kicked out for no reason. I understand that not everyone is not gonna accept me, but at the same time that it still feels unfair that I was given the treatment, as I only just joined and didn't done anything wrong on the server. And I know there's people in the server that don't like my stuff, but it's not like I was gonna break the rules as I was gonna be on my best behavior. Besides, it's not like I'm the only one that draws NSFW Mr. Men stuff as there's other artists hidden that do similar things like that. Regardless, I decided to just give up on that Mr. Men server as I feel like I'm never gonna be part of it and they only want pure members. In hindsight, I wish my one friend never told me about that post as all it did was making feel miserable and think that everyone is gonna turn against me, which it kinda did as that blog made those servers think I'm bad person. If I hadn't heard about it, I would've been happy and oblivious and not care about what is going on.

Which leads me to another user that is somewhat connected to it. As some of you know, I've been doing the anthro takes of the Mr. Men characters based on what a friend of mine did for years and wanted to do that style as it was very comfortable doing that format, plus she did some questionable things with those takes so they didn't care if anybody else uses that take. A month ago, there was an artist I found out on tumblr that did some very cute drawings that made me jealous that I kinda wish I have that style. This artist did their take of one of my favorite characters Miss Calamity as I like the design of their human take and wanted to do their of it. I know some of you are gonna say that I should've looked at their twitter before drawing that take of the character and asked the artist to use permission on drawing their take of the character. But the thing is that I only know the artist through tumblr and I was just looking at the art they posted and didn't know about their twitter until recently. And even then, they may've blocked my twitter accounts beforehand (and possibly my tumblr account as I get an error reblogging their pieces), so I can't have any contact with the artist. And the problem with the humanized Miss Calamity design is that unlike an OC where it's 100 percent owned by the artist, a humanized take of a character from a show or film is a bit iffy as that character is owned by the company and I doubt that. And I had no other way to contact the artist and don't know what their friends are that I can pass telephone, so rather than waiting for a long time, I decided to go ahead to experiment two pieces. Sometime after venting on getting banned from the Mr. Men server I just joined, I cooled off for a bit and after talking with one of her friends and heard that that she was upset. I told them to pass an apology message about the whole mess. They don't want to talk to me directly, but they at least they know what is going on and accepted my apology.

So any future humanized Mr. Men pictures made after the two Miss Calamity pieces I drew a month ago (both safe and the explicit one) are not gonna be in that format anymore, and would go back to the previous style as it's more safe compare to the real human designs. In hindsight, I wish I never heard of this artist in the first place as I felt like finding out their human takes of the Mr. Men characters only soured out relationship more and it's unlikely we'll talk, which is sad as I like their art and felt like we could've been decent friends if things weren't exploited about me out in the open.

So what am I gonna do now? The first thing I'm gonna do is to put most of my NSFW stuff I put as links on DeviantArt under a paywall. I'm sorry for those that like my NSFW stuff, but after seeing some corners of the fandom don't like how my stuff is getting exposed that some people don't want to talk to me, I'm putting most of my stuff as payware through my patreon. So anything that wasn't under payware will be part of the treatment (alts included). Pinups are still gonna be under mature filters. If you're cheap and don't want to pay for them, go find some of them on other sites. I'm still gonna draw NSFW, but for safety reasons the more explicit stuff be mostly payware. And some of the taboo stuff won't be posted here (which doesn't matter as I just stopped doing it years ago after two posts). The second thing is that I cut some people out of my life that are just making my life hard for the past few years, like one that was friendly at first but later started to mock me over the years rather than telling me what I'm drawing wrong, and another person on twitter that was encouraging me to draw more NSFW that only made some people to not like me anymore. Now like I said, I'm still gonna draw that stuff, but it'll be under strict filters and payware after what happened. Some people that don't like me for drawing that stuff won't accept me back, but at least that's a start.

As of for what's ahead for me, I'm not sure at the moment. I just feel like I'm not meant to have any friends at all, either because of who I am, my actions or something is not related to me. All I know is that I'm still gonna draw stuff that would often pop into my mind, though I'm gonna be more careful unlike what happened recently. But we're all human and we all make mistakes. I'm also just gonna ignore anything about me that brings me down as all I want is to try to make myself happy as all that blog did was making me feel upset and feel like nobody is gonna like me on trying to exploit a lot of things about me. I know criticism is meant to make you be stronger, but some of it felt like it was trying to make be someone else that people want me to be, and all it does was just making me feel unhappy. And let's be honest, my life sucks, I have no friends and the whole world is against me no matter what I do. All I want is to be happy and do whatever I feel is right. So again, I'm sorry if were you hurt by me or feel like you were turned off by me either because of my content or how I was behaving. It's nobody's fault.

#apology #vent

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authenticcadence18 · 4 years ago

Text

Can’t Help Falling in Love Ch. 7

HI GUYS!!!!! Sorry about the wait....it has been a busy two weeks😅

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

AO3

(also, the formatting of a part of this chapter works better on AO3...I did the best I could to translate it to Tumblr but...yeah. lol.)

...

Take my whole life too…

...

The tears began falling as soon as Isabella was out of the Flynn-Fletcher house. They blurred her vision as she crossed the street, but she didn’t bother to wipe them away. After so many years of visiting Phineas every day, she could’ve walked this route with her eyes closed if she had to.

“Just keep walking, Isabella, just keep walking. ”

She just needed to get home. Home meant safety. Home meant comfort and security.

She used to feel that way about the house she was fleeing now.

Funny how time changed things.

Isabella made it to the porch. She fumbled around in her purse for a bit, trying to find the key by touch alone because she could barely see anything at this point.

“Just have to make it inside, just have to make it inside… .”

She found the key.

“Almost there, almost there.”

Isabella opened the door with shaky hands and quietly shut it behind her.

As the door shifted into place and the lock clicked, the flight-or-fight response that had been fueling her adrenaline for the past few minutes fizzled away, leaving only a weariness that felt uncomfortably familiar and yet heavier than anything she’d ever had to bear before.

When Isabella made it to her room, she grabbed a pillow from her bed, hugged it to her chest, and sat on the floor in a daze. After a few seconds of staring numbly at the ground, her lip quivered, and the dam in her heart finally crumbled as she started to sob.

For the next few minutes, Isabella clung to the pillow like a lifeline, mourning the loss of the easy friendship she’d rekindled with Phineas over the past couple of weeks and wishing more than anything that she could go back to this morning, to the smiles and laughter and way things used to be.

...how could she have tried to kiss him?

How could she have been so reckless? So careless??

“....it just felt so real…..” she whispered, as if to assure herself this mess wasn’t entirely her fault.

(Even though it totally was.)

None of it—the tentative flirting, the soft, adoring looks Phineas had given her, the way her hands had felt entwined with his—had seemed like a daydream. It hadn’t felt like a typical trip to Phineasland, where things were always just slightly off, just slightly too good to be true.

It really HAD seemed real.

And, perhaps parts of it had been real. Maybe they’d actually been holding hands—it wouldn’t have been the first time they did so while singing.

But Isabella couldn’t get Phineas’s reaction to their almost-kiss out of her head.

He’d looked completely, totally, utterly freaked out.

This meant he hadn’t wanted to kiss her.

It also meant she’d likely imagined most—if not all—of the little ways he’d appeared to reciprocate her feelings throughout the day.

...and it meant he almost certainly knew how she felt about him now...and wasn’t particularly thrilled about it.

This was just...the worst.

Isabella had worked so hard to get over Phineas for the sake of their friendship…and ultimately to the detriment of their friendship...for years. And then, within a couple of weeks, she’d dared to open her heart again, to open herself up to freely loving him again without expectations of being loved back, to contemplate the possibility of taking small steps towards a relationship with him when it seemed he might just like her too.

But she’d gone too far without even meaning to. And she’d blown it. Phineas didn’t love her. And now he probably didn’t even want to be her friend.

“Isabella...stop it.”

She was talking to herself now, trying to speak some sense into her brain.

“Phineas is still my friend…” she articulated. “...maybe things are going to be super awkward between us now but...he’s the nicest person ever. He would never stop being my friend…right?”

It was easy to speak these words aloud, to acknowledge that they were logical...but harder to see through the anxiety plaguing her in order to actually believe them.

And it was even harder to imagine her friendship with Phineas ever returning back to normal.

Because the desire. The aching, burning, desperate desire for Phineas to love her...to tell him she loved him so, SO much. The desire she’d vowed to get over years ago, that had been simmering on the backburner ever since she opened her heart back up to Phineas...it was boiling over now. After coming so close to kissing him, to finally revealing her feelings to him (for better or worse)...she couldn’t ignore it any longer.

A part of her wanted to avoid the house across the street for forever and never face Phineas again, sure...but another part yearned to race back across the street and just tell him she was madly in love with him once and for all. Rip the bandaid off, you know?

Things couldn’t get much worse at this point, right? He probably already had a pretty good idea how she felt so she might as well just lay it all out on the table.

Yeah. Tell Phineas she loved him more than anything in the world and completely destroy what little semblance they had left of a friendship after whatever had happened in the recording studio.

…...that was a terrible idea.

But what was Isabella supposed to do now? How was she supposed to sit next to Phineas in class on Monday? And...oh gosh...they had to sing their song together AGAIN. FOR THE ENTIRE CLASS.

hOW was she supposed to get through that???

With a sigh, Isabella grasped for her phone and hesitantly opened up the “Fireside Girl Alum” group chat. She didn’t necessarily feel like roping the girls into this...frankly, she didn’t think they’d be able to understand how she was feeling right now...but she wasn’t sure what else to do. Maybe they could help her come up with some sort of scheme to get out of the performance...it would be like they were kids all over again.

(Deep down, Isabella had no desire to return to the schemes and manipulated situations of her childhood….but what other choice did she have?)

Before she even started to type, though, a new message popped up on her phone.

It was from Ferb.

“Are you okay?”

A small smile appeared on Isabella’s face.

Ferb had never minded listening to her vent about Phineas when they were kids, and she appreciated his willingness to be there for her now. Her fingers hovered over the keypad to admit she was in fact not okay at all...but then she hesitated.

Because whenever Ferb was, Phineas was probably close by.

“is it safe to text you?” she asked.

Ferb’s reply came fast.

“Don’t worry, Phineas can’t see my phone. And I’ll delete these messages once we’re done: this will stay between us. I just want to make sure you’re alright. What happened?”

To an outsider, this exchange might have appeared strange...or even foolish. Was it really smart of Isabella to ramble about Phineas and her feelings for him to his brother? Wasn’t that sort of weird?

But Ferb and Isabella had been friends for a long time, and Isabella trusted him completely. She knew he’d never tell Phineas whatever she had to say...and she supposed he might be able to help her out too.

“I almost kissed Phineas…” she admitted. “I don’t even know how it happened, one minute we were singing and having fun...and the next I realized I was about to kiss him and pulled away because I didn’t want to freak him out. But I think I freaked him out anyway….I hope he’s alright.”

Ferb’s reply appeared a few seconds later.

“So you still love Phineas, right?”

Isabella couldn’t help but chuckle dryly at that.

Did she ever.

“Yeah...I tried to get over him but...it didn’t really work out…lol. I actually sort of thought he might like me back and was going to ask him out when we finished recording our song but...I don’t think that’s going to happen....now I’m afraid I imagined everything and that he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore.”

She added on to that last message after sending it.

“I know that sounds silly, Phineas is the friendliest person ever but...he looked so horrified after I tried to kiss him. I’m just scared I ruined everything.”

It took Ferb a bit longer to reply this time.

“Isabella, I can’t speak for Phineas, but if I know him, I know he’d never want to stop being your friend, no matter what. He cares about all his friends, and I know he must care an awful lot about you because you two are best friends.”

Isabella’s heart swelled at that.

Though she’d told herself something similar only minutes ago, the words rang far truer coming from Ferb than they sounded in her own voice.

“Thanks Ferb. That means a lot coming from you :)”

Another text from Ferb came through after a minute or so.

“Is there someone you can talk to about all this?”

Isabella considered the Fireside Girl group chat...and then sighed.

If she messaged them, they’d probably just send assurances of, “Oh, Isabella, of course Phineas likes you! How could he not?” This might make her feel better for a moment...but not for long.

Their words would not be based in truth...they’d only be telling her what she wanted to hear. And that wasn’t what she needed right now.

“No, not really...I don’t think the Fireside Girls would understand, and my mom is at work. But thanks. Just texting you has made me feel a bit better.”

Ferb didn’t text her back after that. Which was just as well...she supposed he was talking with Phineas. (Or listening to Phineas talk, anyway.)

….she really wished she could ask how he was doing.

But Ferb wouldn’t betray her trust to Phineas, so she couldn’t ask him to betray Phineas’s trust to her.

Imagining Phineas made Isabella’s heart ache all over again.

…..why did love have to hurt so much?

...

Hey. Are you busy?

no I’m free for a bit. what’s up?

Can you call Isabella for me?

I think she needs someone to talk to right now.

sure, but why me? wouldn’t she rather talk to you or Phineas?

wait this has something to do with Phineas doesn’t it

Yup.

oh boy. what happened?

Apparently they almost kissed. And then got freaked out.

I’m with Phineas right now but Isabella is by herself.

And if Phineas is any indication, she’s probably not in good shape.

oh yikes I’ll call her now

anything in particular you want me to say?

Just remind her how much Phineas cares about her.

That’s what I’m trying to do with Phineas right now.

But you can’t tell Isabella he’s in love with her.

They have to do that part on their own.

got if.

I mean got it.

give Phineas a hug for me

Thanks, and I will...he certainly needs it.

Love you

love you too bro :)

someday when they get married we’ll remember this and smile

...I hope you’re right.

...

Isabella startled when her phone started to vibrate...and her eyes widened when she realized who the caller was.

She picked up the phone and accepted the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Isabella!!” the voice on the other end sang back. “It’s been a long time, huh? How are you?”

“Hey, Candace...uh….” Isabella rubbed her neck. “I...I’ve been better, actually…..”

Candace remained silent for a moment.

“...in retrospect, ‘how are you?’ probably wasn’t the best question to ask to kickstart this conversation...Ferb told me a bit about what happened between you and Phineas and asked me to call and check on you. Do you want to talk about it?”

A lump formed in Isabella’s throat, and she blinked away a few tears as a wave of gratitude rushed over her.

If anyone could help her talk through any anxiety concerning her relationship with Phineas, it was Candace. She’d dealt with her own share of self-induced romantic turmoil over the years, and she knew Phineas far better than any of the Fireside Girls did.

Ferb must have known that.

...the two of them were the best.

“Oh no, are you crying?” Candace asked. “Please don’t cry, it’s gonna be okay.”

“I’m fine!” Isabella insisted. “Well, I’m not fine...but...yeah. I want to talk about it. Thank you.”

“Ok good!” Candace replied. “But, first thing’s first, it’s past one o’clock. Have you eaten lunch yet? Because if not, go eat something right now. Even if it’s just a tub of ice cream. It’ll help.”

Isabella smiled and slowly rose from the floor with a sniffle. “Ok, I’m going.”

...

“.....so do you want to talk about it now?”

Phineas shook his head. The last time he’d talked about it, about Isabella and the recording studio, it had only made it feel more real. Maybe if he just didn’t talk about it anymore, his current predicament wouldn’t seem as bad as it actually was.

“...Phineas. Come on.”

No. Phineas didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t even want to think about it.

Not how horrified Isabella had looked when she pulled away from him, not the way she’d practically flown out of the recording studio afterward, not the way he’d dared to hope she might like him too……

…..aaand now he was thinking about it.

Curse the complex workings of the human brain.

Phineas felt the bed shift beneath him as Ferb sat at his side.

“PHINEAS. Look at me. Let’s talk about this.”

Phineas stiffly lifted his head from his hands, wiping a few tears away from his face as he did so.

“WHAT, Ferb??” he exclaimed, an unfamiliar sharpness permeating his tone. “What do you want me to say? I thought Isabella liked me back, I was wrong! I got caught up in the moment and tried to kiss her and she didn’t want to kiss me and ran away!! And now I’ve probably ruined our friendship forever!! Which is just! The worst!! Because we were finally hanging out again and spending time together and I spent all of high school wanting to get that back, and when I finally got it back I MESSED IT UP. And now I’m afraid I’ll never even be able to look at Isabella again, much less sing with her at school this week. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now??”

Ferb offered his brother a small smile and patted him on the shoulder.

“Of course I’m not happy, Phineas. But that IS what I wanted to hear, so thank you. Now I have a better idea of what you’re struggling with, so I can figure out how to help.”

Guilt twisted in Phineas’s chest. Ferb was only trying to be there for him, to support him, and what was he doing? Yelling at him.

Gosh...first Phineas had jeopardized his friendship with Isabella and now he was taking his anger at himself out on Ferb?

What was wrong with him today??

“Ferb, I’m sorry….” He sighed. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you….none of this is your fault, and I know you’re just trying to help...”

“I forgive you.” Ferb wrapped his arms around him. “And I get it. This stuff is hard.”

Phineas sniffled and let himself be held for a bit.

In moments like this, it was easy to remember that Ferb was a bit older than him and thus technically his big brother.

...Phineas wasn’t sure what he’d do without him.

“....thanks, bro. You’re the best.”

“Anytime…” Ferb replied.

“...this hug is from Candace, by the way…” he added thoughtfully. “She’s very concerned about you.”

Phineas chuckled and smiled softly. “Aww...Candace is the best too. Is that who you were texting a bit ago?”

Ferb twitched. “Yup.”

(Technically that wasn’t a lie.)

He sat back a bit and folded his arms in his lap. “So. You almost kissed Isabella, you’re worried she doesn’t want to be your friend anymore….it sounds to me like you’re dealing with a lot of fears right now. Am I right?”

Phineas considered this. “I mean...yeah, I guess I am. Like you said, I’m afraid Isabella doesn’t want to be my friend anymore, and that she thinks I’m weird, and that I’ll completely lose it the next time I see her, and that things will never be the same between us again, and—!”

“Ok, ok, I’m just going to stop you there,” Ferb interjected.

He was trying to calm Phineas down, not get him worked up again.

“First and foremost, Isabella is still your friend and still WANTS to be your friend. That isn’t speculation, it’s just a fact.”

Phineas raised an eyebrow at him. “How do I know you’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

Ferb, of course, couldn’t go into specifics on how he knew he wasn’t just saying this to make Phineas feel better.

“Because Isabella’s my friend too, remember?” he countered. “I’ve known her almost as long as you have. And I know how much she cares about all her friends. That includes you. Especially you. Because you two are best friends, right?”

Phineas couldn’t help but smile fondly at that. “Yeah, we’re best friends…” A hint of sadness entered his eyes. “....at least...I hope we still are.”

“You are,” Ferb assured him. “Those kinds of friendships don’t just disappear after one awkward moment.”

“But...but Ferb…” Phineas shut his eyes and grimaced. “She looked SO freaked out after I almost kissed her….I mean, she has to know I have feelings for her now, right?”

Ferb shrugged, feigning ignorance.

He needed to change the subject. (Or at least divert it.)

“You said before the ‘almost-kiss’ happened, you thought Isabella might like you back,” he voiced. “Why?”

“Well…” Phineas’s gaze softened, and he blushed and smiled gently in spite of himself. “She kept smiling at me today. And holding my hand. And touching my shoulder. And looking at me in a way that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside….”

His smile faded.

“But then she ran away….so I think she was just being friendly.”

Ferb bit his tongue to stifle a groan. “ So close… .” he thought.

...maybe he could nudge Phineas towards the truth. Just a bit.

“You know, Phineas, in the recording studio earlier, did YOU get freaked out?”

“Oh gosh, I definitely did,” Phineas replied with a wince. “It was so awkward….UGH…..”

“So….”

Ferb had to tread verrrrry lightly here.

“If YOU got freaked out because you almost kissed Isabella even though you have feelings for her….maybe…..do you think……..”

He paused, hoping Phineas would fill in the blanks for him.

(Because he knew he was pushing it at this point.)

“What?” Phineas replied.

Ferb couldn’t take much more of this. His brother might have been nearing adulthood now, but he was just as oblivious as he’d been when they were kids.

“Maybe…...JUST MAYBE…..” Ferb proposed. “....she got freaked out for the same reason you got freaked out?”

He couldn’t flat-out give Isabella’s feelings away. But Phineas had already speculated she might like him back at this point, right?

So, really, Ferb was just nudging him back towards a possibility he’d already considered.

Phineas’s eyes widened as Ferb’s words sunk in. “But I only got freaked out because I didn’t want to mess up our friendship by kissing her...so….if SHE got freaked out for that reason….you….you think…..you think she might like me back after all? Are you sure? ...I’m just not sure…”

Ferb was going to scream. He was absolutely going to scream. This was ridiculous. Phineas was ridiculous. Isabella was ridiculous. They were both. Just. Ridiculous.

….which apparently made them ridiculously perfect for each other.

Ferb articulated his response as casually as he could.

“......I mean. Anything’s possible, right? But you’ll never know if you don’t try talking to her again.”

Phineas considered this. And he shuddered.

The thought of talking to Isabella when his most recent memory of her involved her staring at him with horror in her eyes and running away from him was just...a little too daunting.

“I….I just don’t know, Ferb…..” he voiced hesitantly. “What if—"

“No.” Ferb had had enough. “No what if’s. You love Isabella, right?”

“Well, yeah!! Of course I do, but—"

“And you love being her friend?”

“YES I love being her friend, that’s why I’m so scared to talk to her because she might say she doesn’t want to be friends anymore—"

“PHINEAS. WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS. She isn’t going to want to stop being your friend!!! And, besides, you can’t let fear stop you from pursuing what you love. In all the adventures we’ve had, every wild invention, weren’t you ever afraid?”

“Well sure I was, but—"

“But you didn’t let that fear stop you!! You pursued what you wanted anyway!! What makes this different?”

“Ferb, this isn’t an invention that will disappear when Mom gets home or an adventure that will come and go!!!!” Phineas countered. He sighed, eyes cast downward. “....Isabella is more important to me than any of that stuff…like, infinitely more important....”

It took Ferb a while to think of a suitable response to that.

Finally he took a deep breath. “....if Isabella’s that important to you, Phineas, then she’s worth the risk. She’s worth overcoming that fear.

“I know you’re scared to lose her, Phineas...but, if nothing else, she’s your best friend. Don’t you want to spend time with her? To keep being her best friend?”

“.....more than anything…..” Phineas whispered softly.

“Then you HAVE to talk to her,” Ferb replied gently. “Even if you’re worried about what she might say.”

Phineas pondered this. “I….I know you’re right, Ferb….but...I’m still scared.”

He wanted to keep being Isabella’s friend, to laugh with her and hang out with her and maybe hold her hand again because he’d really, REALLY liked getting to hold her hand today.

But he couldn’t do that until he actually spoke to her. And figured out just what had changed between them.

The thought of doing that was terrifying.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Ferb replied. He ruffled Phineas’s hair and smiled. “That just shows how much you care. But you can be brave and fight through the fear anyway.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully and added, “I think Isabella is worth fighting for, don’t you?”

Phineas’s face brightened a bit.

Did the thought of talking to Isabella and walking with her and singing with her still tie his stomach in knots?

Yes. Yes it did.

But, he still wanted to be her friend.

And he still loved her.

...he really loved her.

“....she’s definitely worth fighting for….” Phineas agreed.

Ferb grinned and patted him on the back as he stood from the bed.

“THAT’S the Phineas Flynn I know and love.”

He gave Phineas a hand and helped him to his feet.

“Now come on. It’s past one o’clock, we should eat.”

...

“...so, Isabella...let’s take a step back and go over everything we talked about.”

Isabella closed her eyes and took a deep breath, thinking over the conversation she’d had with Candace over the past hour.

“Phineas and I are best friends, and at the end of the day, that’s what is most important and it won’t change.”

“Good. Keep going.”

“I don’t have to worry about him not liking me anymore because he’s quite literally the human embodiment of a beautiful ray of sunshine who cares about everyone and is just the most wonderful person ever.”

“....alright that’s not QUITE how I worded that point but, sure, sounds great.”

“It’s okay to be anxious, it’s a part of being human, but whenever anxious thoughts get the best of me, I can remind myself of what I know to be true—like, that Phineas and I are best friends—and it will help.”

“And?”

“...AND, if it doesn’t help, I can text you. Or Ferb. Or my mom. Or...or Phineas, if I’m anxious about something that doesn’t concern him.”

“VERY GOOD. When I first started dating Jeremy...and throughout my time dating Jeremy...Stacy was always there to listen to me vent, and it helped me a lot. Never feel like you have to keep all those worries bottled up inside, no matter how silly they may seem. Ferb and I are here for you!! And the Fireside Girls are too, although I understand why you didn’t want to talk to them about this.”

“Thank you so much, Candace….” Isabella said. “I still don’t know how Phineas will react when I see him again, but...I don’t feel as worried about it now.”

“I’m glad,” Candace replied. “And I bet he’ll be happy to see you.”

Isabella blushed in spite of herself...and then frowned. “How can you be sure?” she asked. “You didn’t see his face after I almost kissed him…I told you already, he looked super freaked out.”

“Maybe he was freaked out because he wanted to kiss you but you pulled away,” Candace replied without missing a beat.

And then she flinched. And bit her tongue. Because Ferb had said she was not to reveal Phineas’s feelings for Isabella under any circumstances and she’d just sort of. Accidentally done that.

But Isabella didn’t discern the truth woven into Candace’s words. “Yeah, sure, I suppose anything is possible,” she replied with a chuckle. “I highly doubt he wanted to kiss me, though...but I appreciate the thought.”

Candace let out an inaudible sigh of relief. For once, Isabella’s obliviousness to Phineas’s feelings for her was a blessing and not a curse.

“Well, I think Amanda just woke up from her nap,” she said. “Are you going to be okay if I end the call? What’s your plan for the rest of the day?”

“My mom will be home from work soon,” Isabella replied. “So I’ll probably talk to her about everything as well. And until she gets here, I’ll do some homework.”

“Ok, good!” Candace replied. “Just text me if you need anything. And keep me posted!! And, don’t worry...all this stuff between you and Phineas, it’ll work out.”

Isabella managed a laugh and replied, “I hope you’re right…. Thanks again, Candace. You’re the best.”

“Anytime, sister! Anytime. We should totally hang out the next time I’m in town. Maybe over the summer?”

“I’d love that!! Especially if I get to see Amanda again...she’s getting so BIG!!”

“I know!!! She’s growing so fast….aaand I’d better go, because she’s screaming now. Bye, Isabella!!”

“Bye, Candace!!”

Isabella ended the call with a smile on her face.

It felt good to have someone like Candace looking out for her....almost like a big sister.

She didn’t know what the future held for her and Phineas, and there were still a million doubts and worries swimming about in her head.

But now, at least, she knew how go about overcoming them.

...

The remainder of Saturday ambled by without much fanfare. Isabella and Phineas remained in their own respective houses, completing homework and spending time with their families.

They didn’t speak or see each other at all….but they were certainly in each other’s thoughts.

Sunday went by rather similarly.

Mostly.

It took Phineas nearly half an hour to work up the nerves to send an attachment of the duet to Isabella along with a text reading, “thought you might like to hear this! I think we sound pretty great. :)"

When Isabella received the notification, she had to take a few moments to dance around her room and whisper-scream because PHINEAS WAS TEXTING HER. PHINEAS STILL WANTED TO COMMUNICATE WITH HER. HE’D LISTENED TO THEIR DUET AND THOUGHT IT SOUNDED GOOD.

She listened to the song once. As she did, she tried to focus on the musicality of it as opposed to the memories it resurfaced of dancing with Phineas, of holding his hand...of almost kissing him.

From a purely musical standpoint, it sounded amazing.

She almost laughed when the recording faded out. Ms. Chase would never guess what had happened between her and Phineas once it stopped.

It took her a bit to think of the perfect reply to Phineas’s message. She typed and re-typed it at least a dozen times, battling a surge of anxious butterflies that grew larger and larger with each iteration she wrote….until she finally told herself to just send something and try not to worry about it.

“Thanks, Phineas! I think we sound great too. And thanks for putting the finishing touches on the recording, I appreciate it. :) I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Receiving a text from Isabella was like breaking through the surface of the ocean and taking a breath of fresh air. Phineas lunged for his phone as soon as it buzzed and read her response over and over, maybe a dozen times, his smile growing wider and wider every time. He even showed the message to Ferb, exclaiming, “Ferb!!! She replied to my text!!! She thinks we sounded good!!! And said thanks!! Twice!!!!! She said she’ll see me tomorrow!!!! AND SENT A SMILEY FACE!!!!!!”

Ferb just smiled knowingly “I told you she was still your friend.”

...

Isabella hesitated before opening the door and stepping outside.

She stared across the street and waited, fingers twitching, heart perhaps beating a bit faster than normal. She, Phineas, and (usually) Ferb had fallen into a habit of walking to school together every morning, ever since she and Phineas started working on their project...but was this habit broken now?

“ ...what if he already left? Or what if he’s waiting for me to leave? Because he doesn’t want to walk with me? Or be my friend?”

Isabella shook her head firmly and remembered her conversation with Candace.

“NO. Phineas is my friend. He wouldn’t leave without me, at least not without saying something. And Ferb wouldn’t leave without me either.”

She could wait a bit longer. And if Phineas and Ferb didn’t appear within a minute or so, she could cross the street and knock on their door herself.

...

Phineas lingered behind the door, hesitant to even look out the peephole.

“I thought we’d moved past this,” Ferb quipped as he came to stand at Phineas’s side. “Don’t we always walk to school with Isabella now? She’s probably already outside.”

“No, I’m not looking for Isabella, I’m….uh….trying to build up the courage to open the door…..” Phineas admitted. “I know she said ‘see you tomorrow’ last night but...what if she changed her mind? What if she isn’t out there? What if she’s already at school? Or she’s waiting for us to leave? Because she doesn’t want to walk with me?”

Ferb crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at him, and Phineas rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Right, right...fight the fear...Isabella’s worth fighting for...I know…..”

He steeled his courage and, without even looking out the peephole, swung the door open.

And there she was. Isabella. His best friend. Standing across the street. Looking at him.

...smiling at him.

Phineas’s heart swelled.

He’d been afraid he’d never see Isabella’s smile again.

But there she was. Smiling.

He smiled back.

...

“....he’s smiling at me…..he’s SMILING AT ME! HE STILL WANTS TO BE FRIENDS!! CANDACE AND FERB WERE RIGHT!!!”

...

Isabella and Phineas met on the sidewalk in front of the Flynn-Fletcher house (like they always did). There was definitely a hesitance, a carefulness, in their demeanors...but they were together again.

And that’s what really mattered.

...

“...hi, Phineas! It’s nice to see you.”

“Hey, Isabella! It’s nice to see you too. ...how was the rest of your weekend?”

“It was good! I spent time with my mom, got started on a speech for Debate Club...caught up with an old friend...how was yours?”

“It was fine! I spent time with my family too, gave Perry a bath, got a head start on a history assignment I have due Friday…”

“Cool! How's your head doing?"

“Better! The bruise is fading a little each day.”

“Great! So....are you ready for class today?”

“Sure am! And I already emailed our song to Ms. Chase, just to be safe.”

“Oh, awesome! Thanks!”

“Well...I guess we should start walking, huh?”

“Oh! Yeah, we probably should.”

...

Phineas and Isabella settled into an easy rhythm as they started off in the direction of Danville High. Ferb fell in line beside them and listened as they chatted about their respective projects, about whether or not the history of the Tri-State Area was represented accurately in several songs written about it and about which Space Adventure season was the best.

A warm sense of relief swirled around the trio as they walked, propelling them forward into the day.

Phineas was relieved that Isabella was still comfortable walking and talking with him.

Isabella was relieved that Phineas was still comfortable walking and talking with her.

And Ferb was relieved for them (and relieved that his meddling had proven successful after all).

Isabella and Phineas didn’t dare bring up Saturday morning as they walked. (Deep down, they both knew they’d eventually have to talk about it....but for now, they were just glad to spend time together without things being awkward or unbearable. They could address the elephant in the room later.)

At one point, Isabella caught Ferb’s eye as Phineas stared ahead and gushed about why he thought the fourth season of Space Adventure was criminally underrated. She smiled warmly, glanced at Phineas and then back at him, and mouthed the words “ ...thank you… ”

(Because if it weren’t for Ferb and Candace, she probably wouldn’t be walking at Phineas’s side right now.)

Ferb smiled back and nodded his head….and then gestured first to himself, then to her and Phineas, before shrugging with a cheeky grin, as if to say:

“Turns out I was right, huh? Phineas still wants to be your friend after all. So are you going to ask him out?”

Isabella understood what he was trying to say well enough. She tersely shook her head and blushed before looking away.

Phineas still wanted to be her friend and spend time with her. She couldn’t even begin to consider asking him out right now and messing that up.

(Even if the desire to confess her feelings still tumbled restlessly her chest.)

For now, this? Walking together? Listening to Phineas ramble about Space Adventure with the same passion he used to delegate projects and motivate others? Feeling lighter and lighter with each step she took because just being close to him made her feel happier than anything or anyone else ever could?

It was enough.

In fact, it was more than enough.

It was everything.

...

Thanks so much for reading!!! This chapter was EXTREMELY therapeutic to write. 😅

I truly cannot express how thankful I am for all the support and love this fic has received. It means SO MUCH to me! You guys are just the best!!!!!

I don't have any doodles for this chapter (yet, lol), but I AM working on a Phinabella song/animatic that's unrelated to this story here on Tumblr if you want to check that out! :)

Thanks as always to @youruinedmylifebynotbeingreal for being a fabulous beta AND a fabulous human in general! :)

also today is @macaronsforchat‘s birthday!!!!! she’s been supporting this fic from the beginning so I would be remiss if I didn’t give her a shoutout. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEL!!!!!!! ILY!!!

Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you soonish for Chapter 8! :D

#phinabella #phinbella #can't help falling in love #isabella garcia shapiro #phineas flynn #phineas and isabella #isabella and phineas #cadence writes #phineas and ferb #ferb fletcher #candace flynn #phinabella fic #phinbella fic #phineas and ferb fic

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anika-ann · 4 years ago

Text

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.12

Alice in Wonderland

Type: series, soulmate AU series (part 1, part 2) x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (past?) Word count: 3500

Summary: The cat’s outta bag and ‘Nat’ really isn’t sure she likes it. Perhaps she prefered it the other way around. There’s a lot more emotions in the air now.

Warnings: mentions of violence, blood and death, amnesia, swearing, bit of a metafiction, mentions of tumblr-like sites ;) ...and possibly messed up format

Story masterlist

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Sam and Dean seemed more than a bit dumb-struck when you finally emerged from the bathroom, which had you shift uncomfortably. Now they were looking at you like the rest of the café and wasn’t that just perfect. You were regretting choosing to dress like the Winchesters now; maybe that was why people here kept staring at you. Except it didn’t explain why Dean and Sam were staring too all of sudden.

Despite their expressions, Sam shook his head as if snapping from some kind of daze, his eyes again displaying concern for your well-being, asking about it. To be fair, it was a very valid question.

“Hey. You okay?”

No. “Yeah. Just… dunno. The staring doesn’t make me feel good,” you muttered, taking the seat next to Sam.

It was only partly the truth. While you didn’t have any solid lead on your soulmate, being here, possibly closer to him… it made you as excited as nervous. Restless, definitely.

“Well, it helped a lot,” Sam announced, sounding almost cheery. It got you shift your gaze to stare at him, your expression no doubt as puzzled as you felt at such statement. Huh? Sam smiled softly. ”We might have found your soulmate.”

“Really?!” you yelped, quickly covering your mouth when you realized how loud your voice went. But frankly, you didn’t care much about that. Because… WHAT?! When? How? “How is that possible?”

Sam’s gaze travelled to the counter, where the orange-haired girl who had welcomed your trio was smiling your direction subtly. You lowered your eyes, your mind racing. What did that woman had to do with it? Had you known her? From… before? Did she know your soulmate?

“Yeah. He’s Captain America,” Dean dropped the bombshell bluntly.

You saw clearly that they expected you to have a flash of recognition in your eyes at least, but it wouldn’t come. You had no clue what they were talking about. Was that some kind of a… special army rank? Or… a stage name for an artist or something?

God, you hoped it wasn’t a stripper’s name.

That idea made blood rush into your cheeks, only a dumbfounded noise leaving your mouth.

“Huh?”

“Right,” Sam cleared his throat, shifting in his seat. It took your eyes from slightly disappointed Dean.

“He’s a superhero-“

What.

“-he kinda is around hundred now-“

WHAT. ‘Kinda?’ What did that even mean?

“-so that would explain the… peculiar soulmark you have. But don’t worry, he doesn’t look hundred, he isn’t really, it’s complicated…”

Nope, still not following.

A superhero? your mind echoed again, not even the tiniest bit helpful. Kinda hundred, but not really…?

“Anyway, even the way you were when Cas brought you in? It all checks out with the story. Even the last name you picked. His name is Steve Rogers,” Sam added, his voice dropping in both volume and tempo, seeing your brain momentarily fried.

You stared blankly ahead, trying to process all the new information you were given, letting it merge with what you had already knew – which wasn’t much. Sweet ‘doll’ caressed your ears, Dean’s joke about time-travel and a mafioso kind of soulmate, about Rowena talking the strong bound with the man you had met but hadn’t met.

You didn’t realize you had closed your eyes and how long you had remained quiet until a warm hand landed on your shoulder, Sam’s voice calling out your given name.

That was funny, wasn’t it? You chose Natasha, not knowing why. But you also chose Rogers – because clearly, that was your soulmate’s name. A soulmate who was sort of hundred years old and a superhero.

You blinked your eyes opened, still unable to let the supposed facts sink in.

“Nat? You okay there?” Dean joined his brother in mother-henning you and you couldn’t help but try and charm a slight smile on your lips at their care.

Sam gently squeezed your shoulder to ground you.

“I… I guess. It’s just…I-- … a lot. This is a lot. I’m… I’m not sure I get it,” you stuttered finally. Judging by their expressions, they didn’t trust you that you were okay, but didn’t push you. It was a lot to process. How was such thing even possible? “You really need to explain further. What even made you think I’m some… superhero’s soulmate?”

“We will explain it all,” Sam promised, removing his hand only to motion toward the latté and cake on the table. Why was here a cake? And why only one? Was this about Dean making you eat more again? You didn’t even need an answer. “But first, eat. Then we might have a trip.”

You honest to god would have raised the tea spoon to start eating, but his Sam’s later words had you frozen in mid-motion. A trip?

“To where? To find this… Steve Rogers? You know where he lives?” you blurted out, shocked. The sinking feeling in your stomach, the nerves working, nudged you intently.

“Yeah. Kinda. Though maybe we could stop by in a church first.”

You frowned at Dean, your confusion spiking. Was there anything at all that actually made a freaking sense?!

“A church? Why?”

“To light a candle for you,” Dean hummed, almost indifferent as if he was talking about weather and not about visiting your grave or whatever.

“…what?” you squeaked, earning an eye-roll.

“Just eat, Nat.”

Right. They probably knew your actual name now. That was why Dean made the point of… articulating it so pointedly.

Upon that, you dug into the cake obediently. Something told you that you’d need that sugar rush.

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It was a good thing that Dean had forced you to eat first; if you had been eating when being shown the pictures of Steve Rogers, you would have choke to death and that would be embarrassing. Not to mention ironic.

Sam was introducing the man known as Captain America in a hushed voice, clearly not wanting to attract attention. He explained that the man was the Second World War hero (what?) and how he had become one.

You saw a black-white picture that had been taken around 1942, showing a handsome light-haired man, maybe too skinny and short, but with a determined spark in his eye, lop-sided soft smile gracing his lips. For some reason, a warm feeling pooled around your heart – he looked adorable. A man would probably punch you if you told him he was that, but it was how you felt.

The very same year, only few days later, actually, had been taken another photo. You could tell it was the man still, but he was… bigger. Like… bigger. You weren’t sure you were buying the fact that some sort of a serum had made him like this, but… angels were a thing. So you didn’t voice your disbelief.

You did though when Sam got to the pictures of him in a ridiculous costume – and there it was, Captain America being his stage name. You were quickly explained that his performing to raise money for weapons had been a very short-lived gig. He had soon earned the rank of a Captain for real.

You couldn’t believe your eyes when the current pictured appeared. Steve Rogers, who had apparently been trapped in ice for seventy years, still looked the same and was still saving the world.

It was too much.

It had become too much about half an hour ago.

You stared at the device in your hand, a close-up picture of the man in question on the display, the very same spark you had seen in the old picture of him pre-serum now flashing in beautiful blue eyes.

He was a special breed of a man from what you saw and heard and for some reason, Sam and Dean believed your soulmark led to him.

How?

“That’s… you think… you think that this is my soulmate?” you whispered, voice weak, laced with uncertainty. Hell, doubt even.

How could this be?

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged, a playful smirk playing on his face as he lost the let’s-break-it-to-her-slowly attitude. “That’s what we said. What, you’re not into blonds?”

You scoffed, resisting the urge to massage your temples, suddenly bone-tired, a headache starting to build.

“That’s not… are we seeing the same pictures?”

“I sure hope so,” Sam noted, head tilted to side in confusion, begging you to elaborate even without words.

“He’s… just look at him. And he’s some kind of a hero, a superhero? Again or… still? How could a guy like him be paired with someone like me?”

Was this man even real? You weren’t sure about it. If he was, there was no way you were his soulmate. Right? That would be insane.

“I’m not even sure what that means and what to say to that,” Dean replied, his brows knitting together. You were confident he knew exactly what you meant. “Just… look, we have a video evidence-“

“I beg your pardon?!” you squealed, jumping in your seat and tossing the tablet to Sam’s hands.

“Not like that!” the taller man chimed in instantly and you gripped at your chest, your heart beating rapidly under your palm. Christ. You having certain kind of video evidence online was really the last thing you needed – or even wanted to know. “It’s from when you… died, well alright, when you were killed… it was sorta by a supervillain? He broadcasted the whole thing to every channel in US. There’s a footage of you… dying and Captain here running to your rescue. Would you- eh, would you like to see it?”

I bet you would prefer the porn kind of evidence now, a low solemn voice mocked you in your head, while your ears started ringing, your stomach making somersaults, your head pounding.

“I… I don’t know. Definitely not- not here.” And now.

Or, you know, ever.

Sam and Dean nodded in sync, expressions solemn all of sudden. They slowly rose from their seats so you followed their suit. You weren’t you sure wanted to or that your trusted your body to stand upright without passing out; however, you chose to trust the brothers to catch if your brain suddenly decided this was even more than too much and you’re sending your body vessel to the ground.

It didn’t feel like you had a choice anyway.

…

As they gathered their belongings, none of them saw their barista smile for herself and being nudged by her friend. The orange-haired girl smirked, but couldn’t keep her excitement contained. She spilled the beans about the woman; along with the fact that two days ago, she had already seen them all coming here.

That shit happened when one was a psychic after all.

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Sam and Dean decided to take a walk; more precisely, Sam had made the decision and dragged Dean away in a way that was everything but subtle. You didn’t pay any mind to that as they left you in the car with a burner phone (a gift from Dean that earned the man an appreciating look from Sam) and the tablet to go down the rabbit hole – whatever that meant. It kinda felt like it though, surfing through the net again.

First, you learned your actual name. It felt almost foreign, you had got used to Nat now, but it still had an air of it being right and you knew it was the truth.

Only then, you watched what Sam prepared for you.

The so-called video evidence caused tears to fill your eyes, soon flooding down your cheeks.

There was no faking it. There was no doubt it was you strapped to the chair. There was no doubt it was your soulmate’s voice, even when modified by the unclear record – you had heard this voice in your dreams. There was no doubt that what you heard in his words was a desperation worth losing a person he loved.

Seeing your fear and resignation-filled expression had you known that once you had felt the same about him. There was no mistaking that at least part of the fear was for him as he rushed towards the bomb instead of sprinting away to save his own skin.

A pain so sharp it made you gasp expanded in your chest, burning sensation on your skin for a fraction of second and you had to wonder if it was the last memory of your past life. Being blown up.

You had been blown up. And your soulmate witnessed it. What a twisted way to go.

What a twisted way to return, echoed in your skull and if you hadn’t been already pre-occupied with the record, you might ask heavens why you were brought back from death.

But you weren’t sure you wanted to know anyway.

To take your mind off the horrifying pictures flashing behind your eyelids, you searched the web again in attempt to find anything else.

And there was a whole new rabbit hole to find.

People indeed lighted candles for you, built altars with what you assumed was a picture of you; there were all around the United States, but mostly in New York City, near places where the explosives had been planted, where many people would have died if Captain America ran for your rescue first.

It only brought fresh tears to your eyes.

Fanfiction was a new concept to you – but what wasn’t these days. You read a few summaries, very few stories which focused on Steve after your death. It was so surreal.

Some plotlines had Steve Rogers die in the battlefield soon after losing you, often including your souls reuniting in Heaven. Those were beautiful, but also incredibly sad. Others had you resurrected somehow – which… good guess, whoever wrote that. You weren’t confident the reunion would go that smoothly though. Or, well, that passionately, as in jumping-to-bed-with-him good. All of those had a ‘fix-it’ tag. The amount of hits with those was dizzying.

Another tag that caught your eye was ‘dark!CaptainAmerica’ and dark!SteveRogers’ ; naïve, not knowing what it meant, you read summaries at least. It had your insides clench in the worst possible way, reading about the clearly good-natured man turning into a twisted stalker, sometimes even a rapist, in better cases a guy looking for a mindless fuck each night. When the element of the stalked girls looking like you joined in, you had to leave the site.

It was simply too much.

Hoping to move on, you went to click on something else entirely.

There was a website dedicated to… peculiar offers, suggestion to the hero. Basically, many people were offering to suck captain’s sorrows through his-- yeah. Sometimes, the posts were accompanied by naughty pictures and it made you ridiculously angry on both captain’s behalf and yours (not that you would ever admit it, because there was no way you were jealous, right?).

It was almost a relief to read some posts from people who had lost their soulmates too and simply were looking for a new connection. Was that how it worked? Was this what people did, drowning their sorrows together? Did it work? Was there someone who caught the captain’s eye? Or was he hoping to meet his soulmate, having a new set of marks like she – possibly you – did? He must have, right?

You shook your head and sighed, absentmindedly going through some comments on what was called Tumblr. A long post with many reactions caught your attention and you had decided to read it, rather not trying to figure out what exactly possessed you to do so when many things seen today had already made you sick from your stomach.

He used to come to our coffee shop sometimes. I was trying to woman up and flirt with him for weeks. Never got to it and now I’m kinda glad. One day, he didn’t order and just sat there, clearly waiting for someone – and looked super-impatient, I swear he was tapping his foot. I didn’t call him out on it despite how annoying it was. I couldn’t even tell him to order or get out – try to say that to a national icon! And then… then she came in. You know, I read a lot of chickflics, not gonna lie. But for the first time, I actually saw someone looking at another person as if ‘they hung the moon’. Seriously. He had hearts in his eyes. I would wish everyone to find themself a better half that looks at them like that. She wasn’t any different, but that’s implied – she was dating a gorgeous man and a hero on top of that. They were so obviously in love and while they were polite all the way – that woman was super-nice, alright, – it was clear the rest of the world disappeared when they were together. Just wanna say: stick your disgusting offers to cure his heart by sucking his D to your arse. That man is mourning the woman he clearly loved with his whole heart and he has every right. I want to thank him for the lives he saved. I want to thank her for not spending their last moments yelling accusation to his face to make him feel guiltier than he already had, no doubt. I hope her soul is in a good place and one day, they will reunite. Rest in peace, sweetie. I hope you get see the way he was looking at you every day.

→ Amen, sister.

→ That’s equally heart-warming and heart-breaking. Poor girl. Poor guy.

→ Has anyone actually seen him outside since it happened? I hope he’s handling it. As much as a person can.

→ So what? You think he should just be alone for the rest of his live? Grow up, girl. Guy needs to get laid on regular basis. And yes, I’d gladly offer when given the opportunity. → Jeez. She didn’t say anything like that. But it’s kinda soon to get laid, don’t you think? This is clearly a note exactly for people like you. Let the poor guy have his peace. Let him mourn and come to terms with what happened before offering him a BJ. Excuse me while I go throw up…

→ God let her rest in peace indeed. My daughter was at school at the time, few feet from one of the bombs. She’s alive and well. I won’t forget this woman, ever.

→ Can we talk about how a person can date Captain America and be actually a nice person, not bragging all the freaking time? Like, even I might gain a superiority complex or something tbh. → I hear you. Same.

→ She sounds cool. Seems like they were amazing together. Life can suck. RIP.

→ This is so sweet and heart-breaking I’m crying.

The person writing the last comment wasn’t alone in their misery, having their heart breaking and warmed up at the very same time. Fresh tears welled up in your eyes and you vainly tried to blink them away as you sniffled and covered your mouth with your palm to muffle your sob.

You gave up then. You tossed the tablet on the driver’s seat and hid your face in your palms, letting the tears stroll down your cheeks as your loud sobs filled the car.

You had no actual reason to cry, you reasoned with yourself, but it was all in vain. The many confusing and overwhelming emotions swirling in you finally found a proper out – and it was in the form of salty waterfalls on your face.

So be it. God knew that good cry might be exactly what you needed. Better now than in front of your soulmate.

Something told you it wouldn’t be too hard to find him.

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“Well. You look like shit,” Dean exclaimed when he opened the door, effectively causing you a heart-attack. Your tense shoulders slumped and you melted into the seat, looking up at him with your no doubt red-rimmed eyes.

Still, his compassionate eyes somehow smiled at you, warm and open and you couldn’t help attempting a smile in return. You were the luckiest girl on Earth to be taken care of by them.

Thank God for Sam and Dean.

Or thank angels? One in particular? You didn’t know and perhaps you never would.

“Thanks, Dean. You know how to sweet-talk a girl,” you rasped, blowing your nose in an unladylike manner (not caring).

“Ha! Sassy mouth is back. Sam, she’s good!”

Sam peeked to the car, his tall form nearly bending in half to do so. He offered you an apologetic expression along with a ‘hi’ and a pointed look at his brother, but you mouthed it was alright. Dean actually lifted your spirit.

“So… what now?” you asked in a small voice, which caused the brothers to exchange a look.

“Well. Two things. First, we have lunch-“

“Not really hungry, honestly-“ you interrupted Dean, only for the younger brother to interject.

“A small lunch then, even if it’s only the cake you had earlier,” Sam offered with a wink which would have made you laugh, because health-freak Sam suggested a cake for lunch, but you were dreading the second step in their plan.

“And then?”

Instinctively, you knew the answer. It was the writing on the wall, really, the only logical step. The cause of the knot in your stomach of which you weren’t sure was nerves, nausea or excitement.

Dean confirmed your suspicion of course.

“Then we go to the Avengers Tower to find America’s sweetheart.”

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Part 13

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Thank you for reading!

We really are getting close now, aren’t we? :)) Yay?

P.S. - if anyone wants on the taglist - or out - shoot me a dm or an ask, it’s (usually) no problem :))

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