#i wanted to draw something more elaborated but i havent had the energy to draw :(

[askkeni]

So she's an experiment of Orochimaru's, huh? How'd she get out and find the Akatsuki?

She is! I have two possible ideas of how she got out: 1. her new inherited kekkei genkai (mokuton/wood release) unwittingly helped her escape, or 2. Yamato, in his attempt to help the other test subjects, managed to take out the only other child who successfully obtained Hashirama's genes.

In any case, Keni looked like this

She bloomed away from Orochimaru's lab :]

The Akatsuki intervene later in her life when she starts receiving (bad) attention from the surrounding area.

[nalhegrande]

mm I'm glad I changed job and I knew that it will be different but I did not account for feeling *this* bad with one of coworkers. her tone of speech makes me feel so damn upset its eating me for hours after which is not healthy for me at all. she is answering work-related questions, she explains things, so she is helpful, but the damn *tone* she uses, makes it sound like I am so stupid to ask this stuff (I worked for a week at that moment), or giving off energy "why do I need to say this stuff", or straight up sounding angry why am I asking something. even tho she does reply.

yesterday I had a situation that I went to ask her (in name of other department person) about a thing that I thought was received from her, and I wanted to ask more details about it. she replied with annoyed tone that she does not know what this thing is, she is from different department and she does not know and why should she know and had a whole rant about it. then made an attempt to check detail of that thing but she said she isnt sure is it actually correct. so like. she did answer what she knew and made an attempt to help more. but the WAY she said and did all this was just. disheartening. made me feel stupid for asking. made it feel that she does not want to be bothered at all. which makes me really upset bc I am new here. so ofc I want to ask and already on my own feel bad that I do not know things despite knowing its silly.

also yesterday I actually made an attempt to talk with someone else about her, bc I wanter to check how is she like. and I was telling this girl about how I did not learn anything about the thing from her, and asked "is she always so unhelpful?" to later elaborate how I mean her tone/behaviour. but it turned out that I did not had time to elaborate. smth came up and I couldnt explain more what I wanted to ask. our talk ended on that. and I was thinking "oh okay she probably will not tell this to the person in question, I will be able to explain later" except she did. she told her. and so later I got told off by her bc how could I call her unhelpful when she helped me by telling all she knew, and that it was very rude of me and not in place. which I cannot deny - she did try to help. but I got 1. baffled how I really did not expect that girl to actually tell her this. like. like???? I cannot even put it into words. I am so upset, why did she think its okay to tell her that. 2. I am certain that now a gossip went into the wild how I accused her of being unhelpful when she is helping. what a rude gal this new person is. so I am additionally now struck by fear of everyones perception of me now.

additionally, general task that I received as in "as I work here I need to complete this" is to review and rewrite if needed all instructions that were written by people I am to work with. including her. heck, I started with her. and at one point as I was asking questions regarding instructions, she raised her voice on me and went on a whole rant about how she does not want instructions to be changed. when she did not even seen how exactly I am rewritting them. she havent actually seen my work, but screamed at me for "destroying what was written by people who were here before her". when I am just trying to do my job and it really sucks to be put down for it *especially when she didnt even see it*. it was only bc of questions that I asked.

so yeah. I have been in a really low mood bc of her treatment and I am not long enough here to know how am I supposed to handle her. is she always like this? is it just a rough time? or is she permamently a bitch? a month here passes and I already am crying bc of this. is this normal? ofc not. but first I need to establish is it truly solely how I feel and should I work on myself first so I can know where and how to draw the line.

[subway-boss-jericho]

Hey all! Announcement stuff!

Thank you to everyone who has been very patient with me. I swear to god i could turn into one of those Ao3 authors thats like "hahaha sorry i havent updated in so long i died and then came back to life and then i had to work 7 jobs" and im being so fucking brave about it!! ANYWAYS THATS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT!

Tomorrow is the 1 Year anniversary of steady tracks chapter 1! 🥳(and also my birthday. yes that was on purpose)

So! I wanted to give you all some updates and stuff to look forward to because oh god it sure has been an entire fucking year since I uploaded stuff and I refuse to feel bad about it but my brain is trying so hard to make me! I am working on chapter 2. Progress has been terribly slow because of severe life events, thank you for your understanding.

So!! What's next? Well, over the summer I am really fucking hoping to finish chapter 2. I know I keep saying this but literally i stg. I'm going apeshit. do you know how hard it is to think about something for an entire year and never have the time, motivation, or energy at the same time to make it exist?? fucked up!! Before that though, I have a few things.

I TOLD you all that I would talk about an AU of mine, whichever was highest voted in that strawpoll I did, and then surprise i fuckin didnt do that. I would very very much like to do that! The problem, I realized, is that I operate super hard on a reactionary basis so I am not prone to talking about anything that is mine until prompted about it or given permission. Fucking, Wack. This is my house. I should be cringe and free but nooooo. Anyways, because of this, I am planning on doing 2 things -> Actually tell you guys about spirit keeper! You all voted for him back when, and especially with that ✨Fucking, Gorgeous✨ commission from Fronomeeps I got (for me birthday :]) I really really really want to do that. And post my art more. and shit like that. seriously i need to get out of my head or I'll explode. someone needs to scream about how cool these stories are with me or I'll dissolve. -> I am thinking of doing a day long event where I stream an Aggie/(Magma?) where I draw my AUs and let people hop in to join in (as long as it stays on topic!) as well as answering as many asks as I can about my many aus and basically setting you guys up to trick me into infodumping. Because let me tell you i have a year and a halfs worth of words in my head and i am 100% confident ingo and emmet enjoyers would really like to hear them. So I wanna do a big ask party Q&A and really get things rolling!! Hopefully with drawings and doodles involved! as a celebration for myself, and as a way to open up to the greater fandom (Please leave a comment if you think that sounds cool, I'm trying to gauge interest because if i went all out and no one showed up it would be Extremely Depressing!)

ON! THAT! TOPIC!!! I am actively (literally interspersed with as I am typing this) making a UQUIZ about all of my significant AUs. For the record, there are 23 results on this quiz. I currently only have 3/23 final results completed, but it is my active focus over the weekend to finish as many of those as I can to try and complete the entire thing within a week or less. Also poking at my phrasing here, when I say my significant aus I Mean It, I have more than 23, but these 23 are the ones with stories tangible enough to start somewhere and elaborate on. I have about 10 that I would consider my main AUs, but some of the smaller ones are huge sleeper favorites.

SO YEAH!!! PLEASE LOOK FORWARD TO THAT AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU'RE INTERESTED!! I really wanna do fun stuff and get to know people in the fandom more than just. that person who wrote 1 chapter of a cool fic that one time. I have so much more to offer and I struggle so much to offer it. Please draw me out of my shell, I wish to enter the fandom sphere 🥺

thank you for giving me a great year <3 ((and hopefully the next one will be better <3))

[wundermoth]

hey! quick update for all of yall about the status of this blog: this is my final semester of university and i have a very heavy classload, so i havent had as much time as id like to work on creative projects. specifically, drawing, and narrative fiction writing. writing notes by hand has limited the amount of wrist strength i have for digital art, and writing fatigue from frequent papers (i swear im a month in and have 5 that were due this week or in the coming 2-3 weeks) have been affecting how much energy i have for creative work. in addition, ive been having some family issues that have taken a real toll on my productivity and functionality. i am however, for the first time in my life, really truly keeping afloat at the university. i have 3 upcoming zine projects im excited to share. the cancellation of the spirit phone zine is really disappointing to me, considering how excited i was about it. however, it was a project i knew was going to require a lot of research and technical work, which i just dont have in me right now. it might happen as a halloween project, or be pushed to the next leap year (the True anniversary) which would not only result in far greater and higher quality elaborations, but give me time to sit and stew on the culture wars and 80s revival as it relates to the current political moment, neonazis fueld by reagan-era nostalgia, synthwave and nerd culture. we are also approaching the 1 year mark for STAY ANGRY STAY DEAD, and what a year its been. ive started putting together, editing, and even finalizing some sketches for v2, which i intend to release this may. the format of a pdf zine means its a lot easier for me to manage during my fragmented free and productive time. im writing a lot on my phone, on transit. expect to read more about how keeping afloat is going, my experiences over the last year, family dynamics, identity formation, getting better, getting worse, and getting down and with dialectics. both the marsha linehan and the hegelian varieties. im also going to be completing another zine in the semester to come, again for a class! i anticipate the first draft will be finished in may, odds are ill want to refine it - its a queer horror zine, specifically: critical analysis of non-normative gender presentation as it relates to body horror. do u ever feel like the xenomorph from alien looking like a pile of various genitals plays on horror tropes about ambiguous/aggressive sexuality, transphobia and pathologization? do you ever feel like its also kind of hot? in what ways has david cronenberg offered "queer representation," an imaginary space for articulating complicated relationships to gendered bodies and heterosexuality, while also enforcing homophobia and misogyny? how does "body horror" play into trans identification and transphobic disgust? have you watched Antiviral yet?? because ill be talking the fuck about that the final zine is something that may be a long term project, may be a next couple months one. we'll see how it works out. the subject matter gonna be some fun looks at neurodivergence as it relates to sexuality and the internet. and furries. i have a working title but dont want to share much about it til its done. its probably gonna come with an 18+ label, much largely for subject matter (and lots of pictures of sex toys) anyway, i hope you are all taking care of yourselves, and you are not staying too angry or too dead. if you are, i got an askbox. keep warm.