#i wanted to do angsty into sexy but the lighting was doing that thing where it auto'corrects' the exposure and it was pissing me off
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very cranky that this stupid cold is getting in the way of shippy time
i started taking some shots but my body is just not having it rn so FINE i'll go to bed
here's an angsty cuddle shot in the meantime
#babies uwu#i wanted to do angsty into sexy but the lighting was doing that thing where it auto'corrects' the exposure and it was pissing me off#so come back to it another day i guess#t: wench.txt#ship: goro x valerie#c: goro takemura#oc: valerie v powell
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Masked Menace (GhostFace!Sukuna x Reader)
PICTURE IS NOT MINE! IT BELONGS TO THIS BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING GO FOLLOW THEM~
@AnotherDeadBody on Pinterest and @john_vmpre on Instagram.
Summary:
You get a call from a random stranger that leads to your demise…
Or~
For your anniversary you and Sukuna play out the popular scream scene and live out you wildest slasher fantasy. (In a safe space)
GhostFace!Sukuna x Reader
Anime: JJK Universe: AU Pairing: Ghostface!SukunaxReader
Rating: Explicit
Genre: Smuttt
Kink: CNC, Knifeplay, slight blood play (licking a wound), Mask kink, Strength kink, Choking, Dacryphilia, Degradation
*ingredients given by( AKA Commision by): Starlightaqua ~
Chef Note: It's a bit rough mentally but milk + cookies and a warm blanket is given at the end. (Angsty but not gege <3)
***********************************************************
You lay on your king-size bed, lazily kicking your feet back and forth while watching TV. Ouija origins of evil, playing right before your very eyes.
“Oh-“ You gasp at the jump scare, nearly flinching out of your skin. You weren’t afraid but it did give you chills watching it alone in your big house at night- where was your silly husband? He should have already been home. You pause the movie bouncing off your bed while you snatch your cell phone. Sticking your feet into your fuzzy pink bunny slippers you padded out of the room and downstairs, texting on your phone.
~❤️Beloved❤️~
Me: Hey where are you?
❤️Beloved❤️: I’m wrapping things up
Your lips twist as you pout. Maybe you can send him a little motivation. You pose for your picture taking a quick snap of your frilly pink nightgown
Me: *IMAGE SENT*
Me: Get here soon ~
❤️Beloved❤️: MOMMY?! SORRY! MOMMY?!!!? SORRY!
You let out a boisterous laugh as you set your phone on the counter. Humming to yourself you open your cabinets, bouncing your hip as you look for a snack. “…Tell me what you want what you really really want~ imma tell ya want I want what I-“
*RING RING*
Your eyes drift to your phone as it plays your ringtone. Reaching for your device you looked at the screen, eyebrows furrowed.
Unknown
“Who… the fuck…” You toss your hair answering the phone. “Hello?”
-“Hello?” A deep velvety voice speaks into your ear.
Your eyes widen at the sexy tone- catching you off guard but for a split second, quickly you screw your head back. You are married!
“Hi, who is this?”
-“Who is this?”
You release a snort, “You called me.”
-“Wait…” The deep voice pauses, “…What number is this?”
You shake your head with a playful tone, “Dude are you high?”
-“I don’t know…” The man chuckles, “…Maybe.”
“Well~.” You say with a little sass. “I think you have the wrong number sir.”
-“Mm, do I?”
“Don’t worry, it happens. Take care.” You pull the phone away from your ear and hang up. ‘His voice was so hot.’ You let out a little laugh as you put your phone down and return to your earlier adventures. As soon as you took one step your phone rang again. You sigh as you see…
Unknown
Picking up the phone you answer it with a drawled out, “Hellllo?”
-“I’m sorry sweetheart, I guess I dialed the wrong number…”
You roll your eyes putting your hand on your hip. “Sooo~ why did you dial it again?”
-“I just… wanted to apologize.”
“Okay, well I forgive you bye now-“
-“Wait wait-“ The man spoke almost urgently making you pause your thumb on the end call. “-Don’t hang up…”
You try not to smile too much, this guy just had this tone that had your heart stutter. You should hang up. You have a husband after all, but you were curious why he was trying to talk to you. So you humor yourself a little, and ask…
“Why?”
-“I want to talk to you for a second… you gotta cute voice.” Just by the play of his tone, you could tell he was smirking.
You bite your lip but shake your head, looking at the Diamond ring that caught the light. “They have numbers for that, sorry I have to go now.” You quickly hang up not allowing him to sway you with his tempting voice. You let out a deep sigh, staring at your phone. You expected it to ring again but it didn’t.
“Well, that’s that.” You whisper to yourself.
You decide to have popcorn for your movie snack. Getting the box out you grab a pack and toss the empty container in the trash. Opening the microwave you stick the snack inside and shut it, hitting the popcorn button it buzzed to life.
Dancing your nails on the counter you wait, looking at nothing in particular as you space out.
*RING RING*
You flinch from the unexpected noise breaking your peaceful silence. “Gaaaaah.” You stomp to your phone, and what do you know? It’s unknown again! You skip hello and go straight to. “What?”
The man hisses like he has been hurt, or he was smoking something.
-“Why don’t you want to talk to me, sweetheart?” He exhales letting you know it was the latter.
You cross your arms leaning against your counter. “Who is this?”
-“You tell me your name… and I’ll tell you mine.”
You let out a sharp laugh, “Ha! Not gonna happen.”
There’s a little pause as the man smokes whatever it is he’s puffing on. Within that time your microwave beeps and you pop it open grabbing the buttery bag. Ugh, it’s not even fully done. You frown shaking the bag as you toss it back in and slam the door. Pushing the popcorn button two times for option two.
-“Whacha makin'?”
“Popcorn.” You say pushing start.
-“Popcorn?” He almost sounded surprised.
“Yah.”
-“I only eat popcorn at the movies.”
“Well… I’m watching a movie now.”
-“Really? Whatcha watching Barbie?”
“Haha because I’m a girl?”
He snickers as you follow suit with a little bite of your lip walking around your kitchen. Why you were even entertaining this, you don’t even know but for some reason, you may not mind talking to this man. It’s not like you would do anything with him. He’s some random guy probably from a whole different state. Besides, you’re just talking, there’s no harm in that.
-“So? What are you watching?”
“Ouija the origin of evil, with the little girls.”
-“Huh, a scary movie?”
“Yup, I like scary movies.” You lean on your counter eyeing the expensive knives your husband loves to buy.
-“They don’t scare you?”
“Nu-uh.”
-“Ooo… a big girl. What’s your favorite scary movie?”
“Favorite? Hmm…” You hum playing with the biggest knife. “I liked… Split, i know it's not technically a scary movie but it was a cool thriller. James McAvoy killed that role."
-“Ah the guy with the multiple personalities?”
“Yeah, that one…what’s yours?”
-“Mm~ Guess.”
“Uuuum~.” You lick your lips, squinting your eyes as you try to imagine what a guy like this would like. You pop up excitedly shoving the knife back in place, “Strangers!”
-“Ah~ I see what you did there.”
You chuckle a bit hearing his pleased tone at your little joke. “Hey that movie was kind of freaky, especially that part where it’s like ‘why are you doing this to us ’ and they say-“
-“Because you were home.”
“YES! Aaah! That’s sooo creepy!”
-“Haha yeah I like that movie it was scary…”
“Yeah, the first one but the rest weren’t as great.” You move around your house swaying as you walk, a playful bounce in your step. Gosh, it was like you were back in high school talking to your crush on the phone. There’s something about his voice that keeps you hooked.
-"My favorite scary movie is Jeepers Creepers."
"Nooo~" You laugh playfully. "I love that movie too!"
-"Yeah? Sing the tune for me."
"Jeepers~ Creepers~"
-"Where'd ya get those sneakers~"
The two of you duet together as you do a little sway, and once it ends you giggle. "Ah~ I love a good horror movie with spooky tunes."
-"Yeeeah me too. Love that burnt fucker with the knives tune too."
You bite your nail playfulling, dragging it over your lip as you think about what you are doing. The girlie butterflies and everything were fine but... you should end this call, your husband will be home any second now. You opened your lips to say your goodbyes but then he asked-
-“Soooo does an Angel like you got a boyfriend?”
You pause mouth falling open, Angel!? Like you? This man was giving you butterflies without even trying! You let out a girlish giggle, “Whyy~ do you want to ask me out on a date or somethin’?” You pick up some mail busying yourself while talking on the phone.
-“What if I do…?”
You separate what’s yours, fanning yourself with the magazines. “What if I do?”
-“Do you?”
“No.”
Technically- you weren’t lying. You had a husband.
-“Good…good…hey, you never did tell me your name…I would really like to know it.”
You toss the mail into their respectable baskets, as you flirt with Mr. Unknown. “Why do you want to know my name?”
-“Because I want to know who I’m checking out.”
Your eyes blink quickly, and your stomach drops. Did he just- “Wh-what did you say?” Your head swivels around quickly.
-“I… want to know whose sweet voice this is.”
You feel a cold chill run up your spine as you start walking around locking your doors and windows. “Stop it! Th-that’s not what you said!”
-“What do you think I said?”
You gulp hard peeking out of your window, searching for anyone that shouldn’t be there. All you see are dark woods and grassy land that stretches for miles.
-“Angel?…Hello?”
You pull your curtains closed shaking your head, you don’t like this anymore. This just turned extra creepy. “I-I gotta go.”
-“What? I thought we were going to go out?”
“No, thank you.”
-“Wait-! don’t you dare hang up on me-“
You were already in motion hanging up the phone as you walked swiftly down your hall checking every corner with panicky orbs.
*RING RING RING*
The sudden noise makes your chest tight, and seeing UNKNOWN on your screen constricts it even more. Someone has to be playing a joke on you! That’s the only logical thing here, right?
You answer the phone, “Who is this!”
-“I told you not to hang up on me.” The man sounded almost irritated with you but you didn’t care.
“This isn’t funny anymore! I don’t know who is pranking me but I’m over this!”
-“What? No no~ this isn’t a prank sweetheart, I just want to talk to you.”
“Well, I don’t want to talk to you!” You quickly
hang up marching to the kitchen.
*Ring Ring*
You grit your teeth picking up the phone, “LISTEN ASSHOLE-“
-“NO YOU LISTEN YOU LITTLE BITCH, YOU HANG UP ON ME AGAIN AND I’LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH AND EAT YOU! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”
You had frozen in fear listening to his sadistic words. Chest rising and falling quickly as you began to freak out.
-“DO YOU UNDERSTAND!”
He shouted at you again making you flinch. Quickly you uttered a “Yes-“ your voice cracking at the end of it.
- “Yeah…much better.” The unknown man chuckled.
You had to fight back tears as you spoke, “Is…Is this some kind of sick joke…”
-“No… think of it more like a game. Can you handle playing a game with me…pinky?”
You gasped running out into your hall as you duck down low, the only safe place where there was no way anyone could see you. Crawling to your window you peeked out with searching eyes.
-“Can you see me?”
You swallow harshly, trying to catch your frantic breathing, “You better leave me alone or I’m calling the police!”
-He clicks his tongue, “See you live in the middle of bum fuck nowhere ill be done with you waaaay before they could get here.”
You slide down the side of your wall, holding a shakey hand to your lips, “Wh-what do you want!”
-“To fuck your stupid little brains out.”
You gasped at the vulgarity pulling the phone away from you as you hung up, tears streaming down your cheeks as you held your knees to your chest trying your best not to panic.
*DING DONG DING DONG!*
You scream throwing yourself away from the door, crawling down your hall as you quickly get up and clutch your phone to your chest. “Who’s there!” Your voice quivers in terror, but no one answers. “WHO’S THERE!” You shake your head looking at your phone. “I’M CALLING THE POLICE!”
*RING RING *
“AH!” You scream fumbling your phone as you quickly answer it. “WHAT!”
-“You should never say ‘whose there’ don’t you watch scary movies- it’s a damn death wish. Your dumbass might as well come out and investigate a straaange noise or something.”
You suck in a heavy breath slowly backing away from your front door. “Look… you had your f-fun now!"
-"Are you crying? You trying to flirt with me or something? That shit turns me on."
" Y-you better leave me alone right now or else!" Your voice was trembling as much as your body was.
-“Ooor else what?” He taunts.
“O-or else my husband will be-be here any minute now and he will be pissed!”
-“Aw~ I thought you didn’t have a boyfriend?”
“I have a husband, not a boyfriend! -hiccup- he will be here so you-you BETTER leave!”
-“Suure~ sure…”
You shook your head not liking his condescending tone, “I-I swear! You-hiccup- better be gone! My husband is a fighter and-hiccup- he’s the fucking strongest!”
-“The strongest? Would he beat me in a match~?”
“YES! HE WOULD WIN! HE’D BEAT YOUR ASS!”
-“Oooh~ I’m really shaking in my boots now…”
You hold your chest with a flat hand, the pain becoming too unbearable. Your words were causing no fear to this cocky bastard, but still you double down. “HE WOULD WIN HE WOULD WIN- SO… s-so-hiccup- you better just leave…!”
-“His name wouldn’t happen to be…Gojo Satoru…would it?”
You inhaled sharply, “H-how do you…how do you know his name…?”
-“Turn on the patio lights…”
You didn’t know what you expected to see and you hoped to the high heavens it wasn’t your husband. And if it was, you hoped that he and his friends would be out there and yell surprise- telling you it was all a prank. Gojo loved pranks. This one was a terrible- terrible- one but you’d forgive him because you’d be so happy that this wasn’t real. You would be relieved. So so-relieved.
Your shakey hand raises as you walk toward the back sliding doors. Flicking the light on. As soon as you did it illuminated Gojo tied to a chair with blood on his head and tape on his mouth. His blue eyes widen in fear when they meet your own.
“HM!” His screams were muffled as he tried to wiggle out of the restraints.
“SATORU!” You cried as you quickly opened the door, but a masked figure came out of nowhere and slammed it shut.
You seized in shock- face to face with a morphed ghost mask. The man wore an all-black outfit. Tight black t-shirt, black combat pants, black combat boots, and black tactical gloves to finish the look. His muscles were huge- bulging out of his shirt with black tattoos on his arms. Just the sight of him both frightened and compelled you at the same time.
The tip of a very sharp knife tapped the glass shaking you out of whatever spell you were locked in.
"Hey! Pay attention, sweetheart, I almost lost you there."
"What do you want!" You scream at him.
He shook his head in disbelief.
"I just told you, what are you deaf? We're going to have a little fun alright? Now turn off the lights and get back on the phone."
Your eyes dart behind him to your beaten-up husband, "Don't hurt hi-"
"TURN OFF THE LIGHTS"
You let out a soft whine as you slide toward the light, fingers shaking as you flick it off. You could no longer see Gojo and the man disappeared into the darkness. Shakily raising the phone to your ear you stare into the abyss of darkness.
-"Now...as I was saying. Let's make things... interesting. I want to play a game. Some scary movie trivia. If you guess right your husband lives, guess wrong, and... well he dies. Simple right? The first question... I just quoted a movie, what movie is it from?"
You were so zapped, the mental exhaustion taking a toll on you. You heard the man speak but his words lagged in your mind, having a hard time processing everything. Yet you knew he was toying with you, putting Gojo's life in your hands. You sniffled with a painful expression. "I-I don't w-want t-to please-"
-"Aww~ Come on sweetheart you can do it~. I just gave you an easy one. 'I want to play a game'... what movie is that from."
You rub at your eyes, they itched from all your crying, "Uh...It's...it's saw..."
-"Ding ding~ You got it! See that wasn't so hard..."
You felt slight relief but then he said-
-"Last question."
"Noooo!" You groaned in despair, the game was still not over and you didn't think this sick bastard was going to play fair.
-"Alright, who's the killer in Split?"
You jolted up, "Kevin Wendell Crumb! His name is Kevin Wendell Crumb!"
-"EEEEEH- Wrong!"
"Wait what! Yes! That was his actual name! It's Kevin I've seen the movie a thousand times!"
-"Then you should know the true killer is the beast one of the many split personalities inside Kevin! Say goodbye to your husband!"
He fucking tricked you!
"NO!" You slapped the light on but you were too late. Gojo had a knife sticking in his stomach as he steadily choked on blood gasping for air. "NOOOOO!" You screamed hitting the glass in frustration.
-"Alright next question."
"I'M NOT PLAYING YOUR STUPID GAMES!"
-"Tch- suit yourself-"
*CRASH*
You screamed as the man crashed into the window like a freight train. Within a flash, you were running, gunning it up your steps. You bust into your room with a gasp throwing yourself on the floor as you slide under your bed. You slapped a hand over your mouth as you heard the heavy boots drum up your steps and plant in your hallway.
"Oh~" The man drawls, "If you wanted to play hide and seek why didn't you say so? I like this game too..."
You quickly hang up your phone realizing you are still on the line with the stranger. With your hand suffocating your mouth- trying to trap any sounds from escaping, you shakily unlock your phone.
The man's boots thudded into the room, your eyes widened as you watched them prowl across the floor like a hunting lion. He stopped abruptly, a pair of your pink panties on the floor. "You really like pink doll face." He bent down to pick them up, knees bent as he crouched. You scooted a bit over just in case he looked this way. You heard him inhale deeply- was he smelling your underwear? He let out a pleased sigh, standing up to his full length. "One... two i'm coming for- you!" He kicked in your closet door open the wood cracking loudly with a loud bang.
You quickly began to scroll for your friend's number, she was the closest to you and she and her husband were hunters. Your fingers could barely function as you began to text her. Your nails get in the way or make a loud tapping noise when it thuds on the screen. You grit your teeth wanting to rip them off.
"Three four you better lock the- door!"
You jolted as he kicked open your bathroom door. Splinters hitting the floor.
*Best Bitch Ever*
Me: Helo helo
Me:Help help
Me:someine is trying to kill me
She had your location, she knew where you were.
"Five six grab your crucifix!"
He was in your bathroom now tearing down your shower curtain. Slowly you started inching toward the door. You froze when he came back into the room singing.
"Seven eight you better stay awake!" he threw off your many pillows, stuffed toys, and blankets. The bed squeaked due to his weight.
You paused in fear, there was only one more spot for him to check. You were practically on the other side of the bed opposite of him. You were getting ready to roll out and run like hell
"Nine ten never sleep...-"
*Ding* Best Bitch Ever Notification!
You froze in horror not realizing your phone was not in silent mode. Everything went still. You didn't dare breathe.
Within the next second, his Ghostface popped down next to you, "There you are ya little bitch!"
A terrifying scream scratched your throat as you crawled to the other side. A gloved hand gripped your ankle as he dragged you out from underneath the bed.
"Never hide under the bad! Another horror 101!" He growled as you screamed kicking your feet wild as your bunny flippers fly off. "Fuck-" He tripped over the pillows, his grip letting up just enough for you to wiggle free and jump up.
You ran out of the room nearly hitting the wall. Tumbling forward you made a sharp turn to jog down the stairs but in your haste, you tripped on your feet and tumbled the rest of the way. One moment you were fine and the next moment flashed before your eyes and then you were groaning laid out on your back at the bottom of the steps. Your vision was hazy as you rolled your head to look at the dark figure standing at the top of the steps.
His head slowly clocked to the side as he clicked his tongue while tapping his knife against his pants. "Tsk Tsk tsk- carelessly falling down the steps too? My sweet angel, now you're just begging for it." The man began to descend. The sound of his boots dropping heavy with each step had your heart picking up.
A low groan left your lips, your mind trying to come back together as your blurry vision adjusted. Your body aching but begging you to get up. Your double vision adjusted and you were able to slowly get up on your elbows and start to crawl back. "N-no... please-" You beg as he got closer. Your adrenaline rose as you started moving a bit quicker, but not fast enough.
He was upon you, feet planted on both sides of your frame as you whimpered looking up at this monster of a man. Trembling as you shed more tears begging him over and over again, "Please please please..."
"Aw~" He coos. "Now I know you are flirting with me." He adjusts his hard-on as he lets out a twisted moan. "What would your husband think? Oh wait-"
"Noooohooo ah-!" You cry using your last bit of strength to quickly scurry backward but the man is upon you, dropping his weight on you so he can pin you down.
You scream and thrash and kick and slap and punch and do all you can but the man is an absolute unit. Your fighting doing absolutely nothing to him, but tiring yourself out.
The man stabs the wood floor right next to your face making you scream in terror. He grabbed your flailing arms and pinned you down by your wrist making you twist and turn, trying to wiggle out. He sat on your hips, your legs kicking wildly behind him. The knife taunting you, right by your very face. You could see your reflection in it as you cried in defeat, settling down. The man was much too strong for you to even do anything. He was sitting on you without breaking a sweat. Watching you with sick fascination. You couldn't see his eyes, but you could feel it.
"Ya done?" The man chuckled above you.
You say nothing as you pant heavily, staring at the very weapon that just may end your life.
"I asked you a question. Don't you know it's rude to ignore people?"
You gulp down the need to point out the pure hypocrisy of his words. Slowly you nod your head.
"Good." He gives you a light squeeze to your wrist as a warning to his next words, "Now stay still..." He drifts off yanking the knife out of the floor.
You shook your head resuming your fighting, "No no please don't kill me!"
He grabs you by the neck and presses the flat end of the knife against your collarbone. Your head hikes up, afraid to be cut. The message was loud and clear, but he repeated it for you just for clarification.
"Stay. Still."
You blink up at the black sockets of his mask, hoping he could see your pleading gaze. Hoping it would pull on his heartstrings and he'd show you mercy, but deep down you felt it only truly turned him on more.
He leaned his head as he followed his blade. Guiding it smoothly over your skin. He teased you like a lover would, slipping the tip underneath the thin straps of your skimpy pink gown.
He jerked his hand-
The sudden movement made you flinch. Your chest quivers as he moves to the other strap to repeat the same movement, but this time you hissed as your flesh stings. A red beading line appears right above your tit.
"Oops..." He breathes, not a hint of remorse in his voice. He leans down, pulling his mask up a bit as he licks at your breast.
"Nh-" You watched his tongue collect the blood greedily. You could see hints of tattoos on his face but then he pulled back adjusting his mask back in place.
He shifts lifting up as he drags the knife up your thigh. You whimper when you feel it pass by your panties and up further underneath your dress. You suck in your stomach squeezing your eyes shut in fear. The knife glides up in between your breasts, and then he flips it, yanking back as he cuts off your bra and dress.
You let out a cry as you become exposed. You quickly cover yourself, as the man slides the knife into your panties. He cuts your thigh in the process making you whine.
"Sorry~ Looks like I did it again. Your blood is...soo~ beautiful." He groans swiping his knife through your panties like butter.
You received another cut on your other thigh. "AH-" That one stung.
You heard a deep growl, as he watched the blood spill a bit. Quickly he pulls back and tosses up your legs by your thighs. With the knife tight in his grip he bends down to again lick at your leg like a dog. He moaned as he switched to your other thigh sucking on the flesh.
You had to hold in a moan, he was so close to your most intimate spot. You could see a bit more of his masculine chin, and something compelled you to reach down and snatch his mask off. You pulled back with a gasp as he looked up at you with red lustful eyes, licking his bloody lips. You couldn't believe how unbelievably handsome he was. Tattoos lined his jawline and even peaked out from his neck. He also had a weird tattoo on his forehead. Pinkish black hair spiked up with an undershave. The devil shouldn't be this beautiful.
He flashes you a devilish smirk. "Now who told you to do that?" He questions slipping his mask away from you with delicate aggression. "Imma have to punish you for that..." He lifts his knife and licks it. He sounds animalistic- lost in the bloodlust. Excitement sparkles in his eyes as he presses the knife on your stomach, ready to cut.
"Y-You know it's- it's-it's my birthday..." You sniffle weakly.
His head leaned with a questioning cock to it, eyebrows raising. "Is it now?"
You nod slowly, "Mhm..."
"Well? Why didn't you say so sweetheart?" He chuckled sliding the knife in its placeholder around his thigh.
Hope struck you to the core, "A-are you going to let me go?"
He threw his head back in a mocking chuckle, biting the ends of the mask with his teeth as he pulled it back over his head and with one hand. Then he nodded his head. "Sure~... after I fuck your brains out."
You are fueled with frustration and terror as you begin to fight again. He laughs at your futile attempts. You kick off him, flipping over as you quickly try to get up on your feet but he climbs on your back, pushing you down on the ground. You whine and squirm, as he fishes out his cock. You felt him press into your surprisingly wet cunt. Your screams morph into a low moan as he has no trouble bullying his way into you.
"Fuck- are you always this wet angel?" He moans deeply into your ear as he rolls his hips. "Or is it just for me?"
"Ah-~st-stop!"
"Stop?" He questions as he does nothing of the sort. "Why would I stop when your pussy is begging for it? don't you hear it?"
You could hear exactly what he was referring to. You were so wet his dick was squelching inside of you, making lewd noises as he thrust in and out.
But you shook your head, "No no! I-It hurts! It hurts!" You were babbling about nonsense too dizzy on his cock to say anything else.
He already proved his point but he wanted to nail this shit into the coffin. He grabbed your neck from behind, choking you as he pulled you up on your hands. He moved his phone in front of your face, the video recording your very wanton face.
"Look at yourself angel." He chuckled as he bounced you back and forth on his cock. Face maske pressed to your side with his gloved hand around your neck like a choker. "Now you tell me- if this looks like a bitch in pain?"
You looked at yourself with teary eyes, watching this masked man fuck you from behind. Tits swaying as your back arches for more. "N-ah~" You couldn't even speak your words of denial, your mind becoming hazy with it all. Your legs tremble as you feel your body flutter in euphoric flurries.
"Su-" Your vision spots for a split second. Your moans being choked out of you.
"Oh fuck-" The man growled letting you go. You gasped for air as he sat his phone against the wall so you could still watch yourself. Watch as he grabs your hips and abuses your pussy.
"Fuck-fuck-" He curses as you wail in pleasure, orgasming overcoming you. "That's right bitch-cum on my cock-"
Your eyes rolled as you came with a shout. The man went into a sort of frenzy. Bucking wildly as he chased his high.
"Please ah-no! Don't cum in me! Take it out!" You scream in horror.
He let out a loud moan, flinching as he did exactly what you said not to do.
"Nooooh~" You whine feeling his cock twitch inside of you, filling you up with his seed. You drop your sweaty forehead to the ground, panting.
The man went soft inside you, yet he didn't pull out. Keeping you plugged up with his cum. You felt him shift forward, his knife coming around to sit on your neck as you gasped pitifully. "Why-why me?"
He chuckled in your ear, "Because... you were home..."
You whined, squeezing your eyes shut as you slowly raised your hands into a triangle shape. "Domain expansion: Safespace~"
Right after you said that both of you laughed.
"Did you like that?" Sukuna pulled off his mask as you looked back at him with loving eyes.
"I~ Set it up for you, what else were you going to say?"
"Don't be sassy with me."
You giggle as he pulled back, sharing a sweet kiss followed by multiple pecks. Then he was pulling out of you, tucking himself away. Helping you up. "How do you feel?"
"I'm fine." You smile as he bends down to scoop you up in one arm.
"I didn't cut you too bad? You used our soft safeword." He questions you earnestly, walking you into the kitchen as he sets you down on the marble counter.
Yes- It's my birthday- was your 'soft' safeword. It was used in a way to not completely take you guys out of role play but to shift whatever was going on. At that moment you were nervous about getting cut more. "I know~ How much you want to carve your name into me Sukuna." You look at him with a playful glint in your eye.
He chuckles, "If you aren't ready for it it's fine baby, I just want to make sure you are okay. I don't want to push you to something you aren't ready for. I mean, I got three cuts off before you called it." He speaks while grabbing the first aid kit and tending to your wounds.
You twist your lips feeling as though you failed him by using your soft safeword. Guilt tickles your stomach.
"Aye." Sukun taps your chin with two fingers, "What's with the face? That's one more cut from last time?"
You shrug. "I guess... i just feel like i ruined it... ya know?"
He grabs your face between his hands, so you can't look away, "I can do without the cutting, it doesn't matter. I enjoyed this entire night baby. Did you?"
You give him a little laugh, "I mean could you not tell by how wet I was?"
He nodded his head with a sly lick of his lips, "Yeah, you were hella wet. I heard you almost said my name."
"I know! You should've given me your name so I could have said it! Ugh!"
Sukuna gives you an evil laugh knowing just how much you love to say his name during sex. "Thought it be fun if I were nameless." He gives you a quick peck going back to your cuts.
You roll your eyes with a huff, "So mean to me~Also! For the record that fall downstairs was not planned!"
"I know I was waiting for you to say the safeword so I went a bit slower."
"I know~ Thank you~." You throw your arms around his neck as he slots between your legs. "I love you so much~"
"I love you too... happy anniversary."
He circles his arms around you as he leans in to kiss you deeply.
There was a loud bang separating the two of you.
Soon Shoko ran in holding a shotgun toward the two of you, "GET AWAY FROM HER YOU SICK-"
"Domain expansion safe space."
"Oh." Shoko stands up straight laying her gun on her shoulder.
The three of you chuckle as Shoko looks around the house, "Damn Sukuna you fucked this place up."
"He busted through the window!"
Sukuna nods his head, "I always wanted to do that- but I'll fix everything-"
Getou came running in on the other side of the kitchen, "GET AWAY FROM HER-"
"Domain expansion safe space!"
"Oh- you couldn't have texted us before we got here?"
"We like just finished!" Sukuna took off his shirt so you could pull it over your nude body.
Getou sighs dejectedly, "Man I really wanted to shoot you this time."
Sukuna rolls his eyes, "Maybe next time."
The couple wished you guys a happy anniversary one last time before they said their goodbyes, and departed.
Crawling into bed together, you snuggled up next to Sukuna with a satisfied hum, "Just for the record I did know that the beast was the killer in the movie." You pop your lips making your husband chuckle.
"Sure you did~"
"You know that's my favorite movie-"
"HELLO~ what's the safeword again?! my arms are killing me and I have to piss!"
Both of you pause as you hear a voice from outside.
"Did we leave Gojo tied up?"
"Eh~ Let's leave him out there till the morning."
You heard a sound click as the sprinklers turned on followed by a pitiful scream.
"PINEAPPLE! JUSTIN BEIBER- AH JENNIFER LAWRENCE?! WHAT'S THE DAMN SAFEWORD!?
You sigh as you pick up your phone, "I'll call Shoko."
~~~~~~
#fanfiction#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsukaisen#sukuna#smutwarning#sukuna x reader#ghostface#consensual noncon#safe word#jjk smut#fanfic#commission#sukuna ryomen#ryoumen sukuna#sukuna ryoumen smut#slasher movies#slashers#explicitsexualcontent#explict#degrading k1nk#dacryphilia#mask kink#chasing
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- YOU’RE MINE -
Summary: While you daydreamed about his face an ocean apart, he had no idea what yours was about to do to him. With a twist of fate and the heat of summer, a new relationship would completely ransack his heart - Everyday heavy with the thought of one another, neither of you were going to let the unexpected love of your life go. You were going to be his, you were his, and you were going to stay his.
Warnings: This series contains fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, love bombing, occasionally sad, kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!
Note: I hope you like it! THE FINAL CHAPTER 🥺 Start reading ‘Ours’ the sequel of this fic! It will chronical what happens in Trent and Y/N’s lives after this part!
INDEX
Chapter 30 - ‘You’re Mine’
The sun bathed your room in morning light. You yawned and opened your eyes slowly pulling Trent’s pillow over for you to hug. It was early but you had a plan to run to the shops before he got home. You felt absolutely exhausted yet again despite copious amounts of sleep so you hopped in the shower to help yourself wake up. Even just picking up products made your arms ache. Your limbs barely moved so you ended the shower with 30 seconds of cold water. Jesus, did that wake you up. You stared at yourself naked in the mirror before wrapping yourself in a towel. As you looked at your slender frame you couldn’t help but wonder what was going to change. How much would change? You tucked the towel moving on from your introspective questions and washed your face. You started your skincare moving slow through serums and onto a moisturizer, product after product. It felt good to take a moment to take care of yourself. You felt like you had to look good today so this was a good start. Trent probably preferred you with no makeup but makeup made you feel more confident so you did some, applying blush, mascara, all the things that made you feel just the best version of yourself. You moisturized your whole body before spraying a Le Labo perfume you had been loving recently and made your way to the walk in wardrobe. You didn’t know what to wear though so you made a mess pulling everything out, trying to figure it out. You combed through piles of clothes and rack more it felt endless but you were getting tired again. You landed on a light pink sweat set. It wasn’t exactly groundbreaking but it was cute.You didn’t want to be in real clothes and you didn’t really want to be anything close to sexy so this worked. You meticulously cleaned your closet back up, putting each item exactly where it belonged. You grabbed a pair of Louis Vuitton sneakers to throw on before you left the house but needed to pick up the bedroom a little before you headed downstairs. Once you did you slipped on your sneakers and grabbed your car keys to exit out through the garage. You jumped into one of the big blacked out cars in there and made your way into town. To get started on your long list of errands to do to prepare for Trent’s arrival you began at a stationary store then off to the bakery, and into a few more shops. The more things you pulled together the more excited you got. For the first time since you found out you actually were excited to tell him. Although, you wanted to keep the way you told him simple. That was your vibe, calm, easy, so you grabbed a little something you were planning to place the pregnancy test in and some cardstock for a note. You went and got food to eat in hopes for after he took the news well and you snuck off to some more luxury stores for something fun you’d give him a little later but that would be a surprise all depending on what his response was. It felt like your car was full by the time you were heading back home. Trent let you know he was coming home around noon so around 11:30 your anxiety really began to hit. You felt like you were shaking as you held a pen over the nice piece of cardstock you got. You wrote a simple note and left it on the kitchen island for him to find when he came in.
‘Come upstairs, daddy xx’
It was humorous and ultimately would be cute once he found out why you said that. In retrospect, the word was really what kickstarted the whole conversation about the possibility of a baby. It was around 12:15 when you finally heard the front door open. You heard his bags drop by the front door the way that drove you crazy but you pushed it aside for the moment unable to focus on anything but listening to his footsteps deducing where he was in the house. Your heart began to race, your mind shifting into overdrive.
“Babyyy?!” Trent called out loud from downstairs but you didn’t respond. You let him find his way. He eventually went to the kitchen and saw the note. He knew you were home, your car was there, you said you would be so he picked up the card you had left and smirked. In Trent’s mind this was a cheeky welcome home. He read the card as an invitation to go upstairs to have some incredible sex after he had been gone. A sort of congratulations he scored a great goal. It wouldn’t have been the first time you’d done something like this but boy was he wrong. He didn’t even click that the word ‘daddy’ wasn’t even remotely there sexually. He jogged up the stairs eagerly chuckling to himself excited for what was going to happen. His mind was jumping around trying to imagine what you’d be wearing, what he’d ideally want you to be wearing. He felt greedy like a little kid in a candy store imagining all the different bits of lingerie you’d worn over the years. He pulled himself together a little bit trying to act cool and suave before he opened the door. God, he hoped it was that pink one but his hunger was dulled. Everything slowed as he looked into your bedroom. The room was warmly lit, all the lights on, it was clean and organized, cream and white colors that made the space comfy and homey, the bed was made perfectly and to further his confusion there he saw you sat crossed legged on the boucle bench at the end of your bed. You had stayed in your light pink sweats and the soft light almost managed to illuminate you. You picked your head up and thought your heart could fall out of your chest. You gave him a soft but very nervous smile. You couldn’t shake your anxiety but there was a part of you that also couldn’t help but feel a little excited seeing him. Just him being back home was enough to make you giddy but this was a new emotion you didn’t know and it was overwhelming you. You stared up at him trying to fight back tears you could feel building. You almost forgot how beautiful he was, you could only dream your baby looked just like him. That face started to make you nervous about what it would fall to because you were about to change his life. Contrary to what he thought, Trent wasn’t even disappointed you weren’t in some lingerie on the bed to be honest. You looked absolutely ethereal sitting there. His angel. Your one hand hiding a little white box behind your back, the other anxiously pulling at the bottom of some strands of hair. “What’s going on…” he hesitantly asked, stepping into the room. You gestured your head to the side signaling for him to come over to you and so he did. Albeit, incredibly slowly. He stood in front of you looking down. You remained quiet. You thought if you spoke you’d start crying immediately so in an effort to not do that you pulled the box from behind you and handed it up to him. He took it and inspected the blankness of it and then looked back at you inquisitively with a smile. He held the sturdy but small white box wrapped with a white ribbon having no idea what was inside of it.
“Go on…” you managed to quiver out in a whisper. At that moment, you were pretty sure the world stopped turning. He pulled the ribbon untying the bow, holding onto it while he lifted the lid off agonizingly unhurried. You felt your leg start to bounce with nerves awaiting his reaction. You watched his face intently for any sign of emotion. His mouth was agape a little, his eyes batted trying to make sure he was actually seeing what he thought he was. He looked into the box completely unexpressive. Inside the little white box laid a comforting bed of thin white and metallic shredded paper with the positive pregnancy test resting a top of it. In slow motion you watched the box fall from his now shaking hands onto the floor. The neat and carefully filled box now scattered on your carpet.
“Are you serious?” He said sternly with no emotion on his face. You thought you might pass out starting to think he didn’t want this anymore now that it was real but you nodded anyway telling him that this was in fact happening. This was very real.
“There are two more positive ones in there.” You pointed to the bathroom sheepishly. Trent dropped to the floor falling into a crouching position. He squatted leaning back on his heels. With his head in his hands you could hear him start to sniffle and his breath start to deepen. “T… I.. I’m” you tried to talk but honestly you were petrified and had no clue what to say. Should you apologize? But before you could come up with something he picked his head up to look at you. His eyes all wet, he gave you the sappiest closed mouth smile that almost had the look of a pout to it.
“Oh my fucking god, Y/N… Y/N” He whined with the deepest set puppy dog eyes that broke your heart. You could see tears roll down his face, he got on his knees and crawled over to you wrapping his arms around your waist dropping his head into your lap. “Sorry, Jesus” he laughed a little, shaking his head, nuzzling into you. “I just didn’t… oh my god, baby… is this for real?” He whimpered out kissing your covered stomach. You were taking his physical actions as a positive but had to know for sure, his words weren’t exactly concretely assured.
“You wanted this right? Like me pregnant? Like we are having a baby” You cooed, giggling a little. It was the first time you had said that. ‘We are having a baby.’ You felt a few tears roll down your own cheeks as you stroked your hand over his hair comforting him as he clung to you.
“You have no idea baby.” He muffled into your sweatshirt top before raising it some. He beamed looking at you. He kissed the warm bare skin of your stomach. “Holy shit, I’ve never been so happy in my entire life.” He continued kissing you. “This is fucking insane.”
“Yeah?” You kept giggling. He pulled off your stomach and looked into your eyes. He held your hands and squeezed them tightly .
“C’mere” he whispered. You watched his perfect lips you were praying your baby inherited from him move closer to you. His lips pressed into yours. They were warm and soft. Warmth blossomed in your chest. Your lips brushed over one anothers. The smell of him, the smell of home was dizzying. You leaned further into the kiss as his lips felt somehow even impossibly softer than before against your own. You both started laughing in delirium though having to pull away. You let go of his hands and cupped his cheeks holding his face some distance from yours to really look at him. His big brown eyes had fallen into deep pools. You wiped your thumbs underneath them, wiping away the tears that had fallen. He looked at you like no one else in the world existed. Trent stared into your eyes and felt that no one else existed in the world, in fact you were his entire world and he was most definitely yours.
“Gonna take care of you forever. This is unreal. We’re having a baby. Jesus, You're perfect, beautiful.” Trent just kept yapping away stunned and so you let him ramble on and on as his hands caressed all over your body. He picked you up and sat you up on the edge of the bed before he came and crawled over you. You laid back with a big childish smile. He looked down at your face and exposed stomach and his heart faltered. His hands pressed into the mattress next to you letting his arms prop him up over you. He dropped his head to come in for another kiss. And another kiss. His lips feeling absolutely addicting. You started to makeout and his body pressed down onto yours. He didn’t know when he got so hard but you weren’t going to call him out. Things started to heat up but he got nervous. “Can I do this?” He said pulling away from you a little sliding his hands under your sweatshirt over your stomach and up towards your boobs. You nodded with a little giggle. “I promise I’ll be so gentle with you, baby.” He whispered. You could only laugh.
“T... it’s okay, we can.” You looked at him ferociously innocently. He never felt more in love with you. He almost felt lightheaded. He was so happy with the news and then now the fact that you were carrying his child, god, he was so turned on.
“Okay… still gonna be gentle with you though. Precious cargo, no?” You both giggled before you pulled him down to you. The space between you vanished. He pressed his lips to yours. His one hand cupped your cheek, gently as promised. He moved you up the bed and sat back taking his shirt off. Your eyes gazed over every inch of him. He was heavenly looking. His body was just drool worthy but you snapped out of your lust when you caught the soft smile on his face looking down at you.
“Help, baby.” You cooed cutely pulling at your top. You sat up some and he helped you take the sweatshirt and your shirt with it off over your head. You laid back and lifted your hips up some for him to then pull your joggers off. He left you in your bra and panties, which okay, this morning you made a conscious effort to pick a particular good set that you knew he liked. Trent couldn’t help his eyes from racking over you greedily. He couldn’t even count the amount of times he had seen your naked body. It was infinite but this felt like the very first time. It was nothing like the time years ago in New York though, this was different, this was love in its very purest form. He absolutely worshiped your body. It did so much for him before, his brain was confused how you possibly were able to do more I.e. carry his child now but also how it was physically possible for him to be any more attracted to you, and yet here he was. His pupils dilated looking down at you. He pulled his sweats off leaving you with the perfect view of his hardened cock’s bulge in his boxers. Both of your heart rates speeding up. He got on top of you again as you began to kiss more and more, hotter and heavier. He dragged his fingers over your body while he moved away from your kiss to come whisper in your ear. His hands gently slipped into your panties and in no time he was slowly pumping his fingers in and out of you purposely rubbing his palm against your clit rhythmically.
“Oh god T… Trent fuck, baby. T…” You moaned trying to push yourself up into him for more friction, for him to go deeper.
“Keep saying my name, baby. Such a good girl f’me, gonna make you feel so good like you deserve.” His warm breath hit your ear sending a shiver down your spine. And, boy, was he determined to make you feel good. He kissed down from your ear all the way down to your core. He pulled your soaked panties off as he continued with his fingers. His name still falling from your mouth. He worked quickly and buried his face into your wet pussy. His tongue toyed with your clit as his fingers diligently worked in and out of you. You were a mess. You couldn’t think straight but it was all so smooth, so caring, so soft, so intentional. It definitely was intentional, he knew exactly what he was doing when you felt the tight knot in your stomach snap pulsating around his fingers. “Did so good.” He muttered into your pussy. The vibration causing you to flinch at the overstimulation. He pulled his face covered in your slick away kissing the inside of your thighs letting you come down for a moment. It wasn’t long before he was fucking into you nice and slow. He filled you up and you felt every single inch of him sliding in and out of you.
“Baby… I’m so full. Oh my god. I love your cock so much.” You moaned beautifully and he smirked. Your words were starting to almost slur from the amount of pleasure you were in as his hand reached down to rub small circles on your already sensitive clit. Your pussy dripping onto the sheets below you as he continued to carefully roll his hips up into you. Trent affectionately yapped away, continuing to spill out how much he loved you, how good you were doing, how beautiful you were all falling from his lips nonstop as he enjoyed the feeling of you. “I want you to fuck me like this forever.” You babled back words muffled by moans and kisses. Your hands came and gripped onto his muscular arms. Your hands pressed back into the pillows feeling fuzzy, blanking out everything but the feeling of him inside you. “I’m gonna cum, T” you cried out “I’m so close.” You felt the know in your stomach tighten again. Your breathing getting heavier. You moved your hands up to his face pulling him into a passionate kiss and then letting your manicured fingers gripping onto his hair, enough to make him whisper at the sensation.
“Cum for me, baby” he cooed between kisses as his hard cock pulsating inside of you. “I love you so much, baby. Keep fucking me. Doing so good.” Your sweet moaning of his name pushed him closer and closer to his own edge. “You sound so pretty, baby” Trent smiled down at your face. You looked up at him mouth agape, watery eyes and were taken aback by how beautiful he looked above you. God, he really was perfect. He kissed you again. The drag of his cock in and out of you made you each for anything to hold on to. Switching between the sheets, his hair, then to his muscular back. His hand found its way to your tits. he caressed it, playing with your nipple while fucking you.
“Ah T… you feel so good. Too much.” You whined feeling him pressed deeper and deeper inside of you. Slow and languid you said it but you didn't want him to stop at all. He knew that too.
“You’re doing so good. Such a good girl” he praised, starting to feel overwhelmed by the pleasure from your pussy. He was close now. To be fair, he had been close to cumming since he ate you out. Watching you orgasm with his tongue on your clit was just the perfect sight. “Cum with me, baby, yeah?” His movements were getting sloppy compared to the perfect pace he had kept at as his abs tensed. His lips parted in deep breaths as his eyes rolled back.White hot pleasure flashed behind your eyes and Trent’s lips pushed against yours as he fucked you through your high. His hips finally stuttered and he paused letting him cum fill you, making sure every drop of him was inside of you, where it belonged. He quickly resumed pushing his hips into you though with a groan of your name. His cock twitched inside you, spent. It was intoxicating, everything was, the way your arms were wrapped tight around his shoulders. Pulling him close, running soothingly along his skin as he collapsed onto you with a final, fucked-out thrust. He traced his fingers lazily along your side, neither of you having enough strength to bother moving. All is quiet in your little haven, and you could almost fall asleep. You laid stuck to each other's bodies for ages. Trent’s hands continuing to slowly caress your body as you cuddled up to him. Your head rested onto his shoulder. He looked down at you and smiled.
“How did you get so perfect, hmm?” He cooed with his hand coming to rest over your stomach. You giggled and looked back at him. His smile made your heart beat a little faster than it already was. “Just so pretty all the time, it’s insane.” He kept talking while he squeezed your waist. “Going to be the most beautiful mummy.”
“Stop…T” You feigned embarrassment. “Well, you can say goodbye to all this now I guess though.” You drudged out waving your hand over your naked body pressed into his. It kind of stung thinking about how much your body was about to change. You had a lot of issues with your image from the jump so to imagine things changing and potentially getting worse than they were now freaked you out.
“Baby, baby, baby… don’t do that. This is so fucking amazing. You’re going to be beautiful before, during, and after, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He cooed again, dropping his hand sliding down to palm your ass. “Trust me, if anything you’re only about to get even sexier.” He squeezed your ass cheek saying that.
“Yeah, yeah you say that now.” You groaned. “You’re just excited for when my tits inevitably get bigger.”
“I’m not just saying it! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little excited for that, you're right….But baby, it’s not about all that. It’s the fact that you’re beautiful for carrying our child, you know how insane that is?” You nuzzled your face into his body hiding feeling a little shy. You laid there while he ranted on and on about how beautiful you were and you listened patiently until he asked you a question. “So what do we do now?” He started to chuckle anxiously thinking about what was next.
“I don’t know, I’ve never been pregnant before.” You joked equally as nervous.
“Same.” He cooed with a straight face. You couldn’t not laugh looking at him. He always managed to be unintentionally funny and simultaneously very cute in serious moments.
“Okay, well seeing that neither of us have been.” You kept giggling and poked at him. “I made an appointment for tomorrow but if you can’t make it, I…” Trent cut you off before you could finish your sentence.
“I can. Baby, I am here for this whole thing. I will be there. I will never not be there. This is the most important thing to me, you are the most important thing to me… this baby is the most important thing to me.” His face kind of dropped saying his last sentence. It was all becoming very real.
“Oh my god like this is mad…” you looked up at him with a scared expression on your face..
“I’m here for you. You’re mine, right baby? Gonna take such good care of you both.” He cooed and your heart shattered at how sweet he was. It was unbelievable you were about to start a family.
“Yeah.. I know” you sheepishly retorted. He held up his pinky towards you and your heart skipped a beat. He was so fucking cute. “Oh so you really mean it, huh?” You teased him.
“Absolutely. You’re mine forever.” You locked your finger around his and he used the moment to pull your arm and subsequently your body to fall into his into a sweet kiss.
“Do anything for you, beautiful.” You pursed your lips and hummed thinking of all the things he already did for you. What more could you possibly want
“Can you hold me closer, T.” You cooed, batting your eyes at him.
“Yeah, he laughed. “I got you.”
The next day you woke up to a large Trent cuddled up so closely on top of you, you could barely breathe and you liked it this way. You had an inkling this was the way this would go. He was going to be so attached to you the second he found out you were pregnant. You slid up to sit against the headboard. He hummed as you moved, clinging to your stomach tighter, pressing sleepy kisses against your bare skin.
“I can’t believe we’re going to be parents… I feel like I’m 18 most days.” You spoke into the quiet room stroking over his hair guiding your hand down to his back to scratch it gently. He purred feeling your nails. He turned his head on your stomach to look up at you. The feeling of his stubble rubbing and tickling you.
“I guess we gotta grow up.” He cooed with a smile.
“Maybe.. we’ll still be cool parents though right, T?” You giggled as your other hand came to pinch at his cheek.
“Yeah, baby. The coolest. Just adding a new baby best friend to the fam, that's all.” He cooed imagining the two of you, the dogs and the new little baby.
“That’s really cute, T.” You pouted thinking about how adorable the sentiment was. The fact that you were really going to have this baby was sinking in moment by moment. He hummed acknowledging you but returning to his task of kissing your stomach.
Your appointment at the OBGYN was later that afternoon so you and Trent got dressed and were ready to head out. He held your hand walking to your cars but looked at you confused when you let go and walked to the drivers side of yours instead of the passengers side of his.
“You can’t drive…” he looked at you and you started to genuinely laugh.
“What? Why?” Shocked, you asked muddied in a laugh. His face didn’t move. “T… I am pregnant, not like unwell.” You tried to reason with him. He just stepped towards you, slipping his hands around your waist. He tucked his head into the nape of your neck, pressing his lips to you.
“Baby… I need you to be safe, can you just come with me? I want to take care of you.” He whispered. He puckered out his bottom lip, giving you his devastating puppy dog eyes. He was committed to convincing you and it almost worked but you were not caving this time. You held your ground against their allure.
“You always take care of me. I am safe. Also, T, be realistic, we can’t be seen driving together going there right now. I want this to be our moment. Hmm?” you cooed. Your hand came to caress his cheek trying to assure him you were okay but also remind him that your pregnancy getting out to any news source or the general public getting wind would be a nightmare and would destroy any opportunity to have privacy for the next 9 months. He finally agreed and you made your way there.
“You’re only about 6 weeks along.” The nurse spoke softly, looking between you and Trent. “If you and your husband want, we can go ahead and schedule the follow up when you’re at 12 weeks. By then we should be able to find out the gender as well.”
“He’s not my husband.” You patted Trent’s thigh.Your words kind of stung him so he placed his much bigger hand over yours pinning it down. Prompting him to lean over and whisper in your ear.
“Not yet, baby.” He cheekily said and it raised goosebumps all over you. Eventually, you looked back to the nurse and so did he. You could see Trent’s brow furrow a little in your peripheral. He was trying to do the math. “Right so she’ll be 12 weeks that’s…” he paused thinking.
“3 months, baby.” You giggled teasing him squeezing your hand above his knee.
“When is it usually most safe to tell people?” Trent asked inquisitively. This was going to be like everything else, he was going to need to know absolutely everything he could. It was incredibly cute and it was incredibly Trent.
“The fetus is typically fully formed after 12 weeks, that tends to be when people feel comfortable but it is up to your personal preference, your discretion what you’d want to do.” The nurse cooed back.
“So in a month and a half, T.” You giggled again looking at his face continue to struggle.
“I’ll get there, I’m gonna like read or I don’t know, will figure it all out.” He babbled nervously. You smiled sweetly at him squeezing your hand again to reassure him just happy he was with you. He didn’t need to be nervous or do any more. He was doing great. He was amazing already. You left the offices and you clung to Trent in the car park. You swayed back and forth in his arms pressing little kisses to his lips. This was scary and new but at least you had him. You finally said your goodbyes; he went to training and you went home. He went the whole day beaming. Everyone at AXA was so confused by his outwardly cheery disposition but he couldn’t not smile anymore now that he knew he was going to have a baby with you. Later that night, Trent came home when you were in the kitchen beginning to make dinner.
“Nah, nah, nah, I was going to make dinner for you, baby.” Trent's voice almost made you jump. You turned around to see him coming down the hallway holding a big bouquet of pink flowers. You rolled your lip at him and ran over to him giving him a tight hug, abandoning the boiling pot of water on the stove. He wrapped you in his arms and kept you there, even as you cooked. When you were finally done cooking you sat with Trent on the couch eating bowls of pasta sitting unnecessarily close. Your legs draped over his lap. His one hand rubbing up your back.
“I think we should keep this relatively quiet for a little, don’t you? I want to make sure the baby is healthy and I want to share some of this time with just you until we let everyone else know.” You babled stabbing your fork mindlessly into some noodles.
“I understand, agree with you, beautiful. I just want you and the baby healthy so we’ll take it slow. Will keep you two close with me. Make sure everything is okay” He cooed, pressing a kiss to your cheek, squeezing your side. The plan to keep it quiet was great except for the fact that you had to continue on with everyday life carrying a massive secret. It was only mere days later when you had to face the task head on. You sat anxiously at an away game down in London next to Dianne and Tyler. They couldn’t possibly have known but you felt like they somehow did know. It was stressing you out the whole game. You didn’t hide much from his family so this felt wrong. As the final whistle blew you milled about and mingled until Trent was able to come out and meet you after. He beelined directly through a group of people to you, wasting no time with niceties to anyone else in the room. He grabbed you by the waist and his thumbs stroked over your stomach in a coy effort to be subtle. He smiled silently and you couldn’t control the way your heart lurched. You’d think over time his charm would lose its effect or wear down but somehow it only seemed to grow. Him being so sweet about the pregnancy was making it continue that way at a rapid pace.
“We’re so proud of you, daddy.” You cheekily whispered, pulling him into a tight hug. You draped your arms over his shoulders. Trent's heart faltered hearing your words. The word ‘daddy’ had carried way too much weight in your relationship lately. Hell, it got you to this very point but it was a little fun to throw it around now.
“This is the best secret I’ve ever had to keep.” He cooed equally as quiet into your ear. “Love you both so much.” You only giggled in return, beginning to quickly look around the room to make sure no one had heard either of you.
After the game, you all went out to dinner in London. You stood waiting at the bar for your table. Everyone ordered drinks. When the bartender came to Trent, he ordered his quick off the cuff before he turned and looked at you for what you wanted. You gave him a knowing look. He raised his eyebrows at you realizing you couldn’t drink. He leaned over the bar and he spoke quietly to the bartender. He returned and handed you a club soda with a lime. Clever, no one would know it wasn’t your usual tequila soda if they didn’t ask. You smiled cheekily and threw him a wink. You started to talk to Tyler as Trent was talking with his mum. His eyes glued to you. You unintentionally turned your back to him continuing your conversation stirring the little straw around in your soda. Trent watched you over his mum's shoulder. Dianne laughed as she tried to hold his attention. He loved how close you were with his family, how you integrated so quickly. He loved how you were with Tyler and Marcel. It was so important to him that you cared about what he cared about.
“She makes you happy, huh, Trenty?” Dianne cooed watching his gaze soften fixed on you. He shifted in his stance not responding to her. The smile on his face was telling her the answer. He moved around his mum slow squeezing her arm to not totally disregard her and started on his way over to you. You felt his hand come from behind and push your hair off your shoulder. You shuttered under his touch. The feeling of his fingers glide over your neck sending a shiver down your spine. You tilted your head to one side to try to look back at him knowing it was Trent. You watched Trent’s lips turn upwards. His eyebrows rising in smug satisfaction at the hearts that filled your eyes. You turned back with a cheeky grin into him. He pulled you to him and leaned into your ear. He started whispering all sorts of filthy things to you. You shut your eyes and licked over your lips. You pulled away looking at him. You weren’t drinking but you were certainly drunk on love, completely smitten and certain he was the man of your dreams.
"Behave yourself” you giggled, slapping at his chest praying no one could’ve overheard him. Tyler ignored you two immediately the second Trent’s hands were on you resorting to return to Dianne. You sat at dinner bashful and happy. It was such a happy couple of days. It was stressful to have to hide this secret but in general, you and Trent were so happy about the win but ultimately the baby. He was already so touchy with you to begin with but the pregnancy was bringing the affection to a new level. You let him have his way, keeping his hands on you the entire meal. You didn’t mind. You liked it. It made you feel safe. Trent was so protective of you. He kept you close to him instinctively but now, he held you closer with a watchful eye on your stomach. It made you melt and gradually over the night, really horny. When you got home personal space wasn't a thing for you anymore. You hugged his arm, squeezing his bicep, walking back into your house. You were all over Trent. Batting your eyelashes up to him, pressing your boobs against his side as you made your way to the living room.
“You’re not subtle…” he laughed as you tried to convince him to fuck you. You didn’t have to do much, in fact you really didn’t have to do anything at all.
“What do you mean, T?” You giggled feigning innocence climbing on top of him as he sat down on your living room couch. Your boobs subsequently teasingly pressed in his face.
“Alright, I’ll bite, baby.” He laughed. His hands started to caress your body and then swiftly to massage your tits. “You’re very convincing.” He teased you but you just gave him a ‘come on’ look because you knew you were. “Did you know you’re very very hot?” He cooed with a cheeky grin. You sat down on his lap and poorly attempted to reign in the horniness that was washing over you. “Like so fucking sexy.” His words didn’t help that effort. His hands kneading your tits brushing his thumbs over your hardening nipples. The more his hands were on you, the more you thought about your body, the way it was aching for him, and then suddenly, rapidly, you felt yourself tense.
“Hey… you okay?” Trent’s hands slowed in you. You felt emotion rush to your eyes. All at once, your feelings of fear about your body about to change massively came over you. One of the things Trent loved about you was your body and it was about to be gone.
“I’m just scared.” You sugarcoated your emotions for him. His hands fell from your boobs and ghosted down your sides before they settled onto your hips.
“C’mere please” he pulled at you and engulfed you in his arms. “Does it make you feel any better if I tell you I’m scared too?” He said muffled into your neck. His hands rubbed up and down your back comforting you when you least felt it. His honesty did make you feel better.
“Really?” You sheepishly asked. He laughed, pulling you off him to really look at your face. He stared into your eyes. You could feel your heart thumping in your chest.
“Baby… this is massive but you know what else?” He cooed, bringing his hand to caress your cheek. You shook your head softly giving him a ‘no.’ “We have each other in this. We’re doing it together. Hmm? You have me forever, sweet girl. I’m not going anywhere.” He spoke, brushing his thumb over your skin. Your heart warmed. He managed to settle your fears for the moment. He was so reassuring that he would never leave you. You could see it in his eyes, you could feel it under his touch. You cuddled into him. He held you close.
“I love you, T.” You gently spoke, squeezing him a little before resting your head on his chest. You stayed there for a while. The feeling of his heart beat started to lull you to sleep. You tried your hardest to keep your eyes open, to stay awake and in the moment but his loving hold making it incredibly difficult. He pressed a kiss into your hair.
"Go to sleep, baby. I’m gonna be right here forever.” He whispered and you nuzzled further into him. The feeling of being in his arms putting you ever at ease. The vibrations of his voice only pushing you closer to falling asleep. Finally your eyes falling closed. When you woke up the next day you were neatly tucked upstairs in your bed. He always took such good care of you, you never had to ask for anything. You shifted your body only to find that you were alone in the big bed. Your legs moving under the covers some before they bumped into something on the bed.
“T…?” You sleepily whispered out. Rubbing your hands over your eyes. You tried to clear your blurry vision to see where he could’ve been. To no avail, your eyes fixed on the foot of the bed seeing what you presumed to be a gift from Trent.
“Oh you’re up! Morning, pretty girl.” Trent muttered out in a hushed tone, his voice cutting into the room as he rushed over to you. He sat on the edge of the bed and handed you a cup of tea. You raised your eyebrows surprised with a tired smile. You scooted up the bed to lean against the headboard.
“Wow… good morning to you. What’s all this, baby?” You chuckled. You reached out and rubbed your hand up and down the arm he had outstretched on the bed to rest on. He shuffled on the bed though to come sit next to you. He grabbed four boxes and pulled them into his lap. He wrapped his free arm around you, smushing a kiss to your cheek. He pulled you a little closer to him before plopping the first box over on your lap. It was an ambiguously wrapped box so you gave him a curious look.
“One for you.” He cooed and you giggled.
“What’s this for?” You asked pausing before opening the gift: he shot a stern glare back at you so you continued on. You peeled off the paper and saw a familiar orange box you knew well. You opened it slow. It was a pair of Hermes Finesse diamond earrings. You bopped your head back and forth with a big cheesy smile on your face staring at them.
“So pretty, T.” Grabbing his face for a quick peck. You placed the box down onto your comforter after inspecting them for a little while. He plopped the next box in your lap. You rolled your eyes at his childish rough nature so early.
“One for the baby…” he said softly rubbing his hand over your stomach. It was a much larger box than the last. You opened it slow again to find another orange box. You smiled lifting the lid to see an adorable Hermes teddy bear. You pouted your lips at him. You felt like you were gonna cry before he plopped the next one on you, stopping your flooding emotions. “Keep moving along, baby. Have more to open.” He laughed, waving his hand to continue. “For you.”
“You know the baby seems to be getting bigger presents than me, is that how things are going to be?” You teased squeezing his arm. It was his turn to roll his eyes at you. You opened a third orange box. You unlatched a jewelry box to see three stackable rings.
“One for each person in our family now.” He looked into your eyes. You melted thinking of him picking out something so thoughtful. You slid them on and held up your hand to look at the three rings wrapped around your slender finger.
“I love them… I love you.” You collapsed your head onto his shoulder wrapping your arms around his waist.
“You like them, baby?” He spoke before pressing a kiss into your hair. You nodded as he slid the last box over to you. You peeled the paper again slowly to reveal the final orange box. “One more for them” you opened the lid taking your time and your heart slowed. You felt the room close in. You stared down at a cashmere Avalon blanket. You took it out of the box to get a closer look at the detailed lettering embroidered ‘Baby Alexander-Arnold’ That was the tipping point for you. The tears started pouring out. “Oh. C’mon shhh.” Trent pulled you into him. He squeezed you so tight.
“I love you.” You sniffled out. He hummed. You stayed like that for a while. “Wait, wait, actually I got you something too! I didn’t know when to give them to you but now seems good.” You scrambled out of bed messily. Trent laughed at your sleepy body moving without the grace you usually carried.
“Baby, didn’t have to get me anything.” He said as you ran into the wardrobe hearing his voice fade getting further from him. You came out with three bags giddily and jumped on the bed playfully. You took his hands in yours after placing the bags in between you. He gave you a disapproving look for buying him anything.
“Just open it! Please!” You begged childishly pulling on his arm. You shoved one bag over closer to him. He reluctantly grabbed one bag. “Hold on! This one first!” You swapped the bags and he shook his head. He ruffled through the bag and pulled out a baby Liverpool kit.
“Nah… honestly.” He held up the top and turned it around to see ‘daddy’ written across the back with a 66. He looked at you with a sappy smile. Trent felt like this was the first time he really felt like a dad, like this was not only just a baby but his kid. You pecked his lips unannounced. You couldn’t look at the tiny jersey the put getting excited. The idea of bringing your baby to their daddy play was a dream and you knew Trent felt the same. You pushed the next bag at him. He fumbled through the bag again and pulled out a pretty chic, in your opinion, black Prada baby bag. “It’s actually really good.” He laughed unexpectedly, pretty impressed with it. You felt a little relieved he wasn't freaked out by the baby-centric gifts. You picked up the final bag and placed it in his lap. He pulled out a matte all black Prada football. His eyes widened and a big grin pulled across his face.
“Cool dad, no?” You giggled as he threw the designer football up and down. You stopped him when you pulled his face to yours with his cheeks in your hands. His laugh breaking out mid kiss halting it.
“Massively. Thank you, baby.” He cooed muddied in giggles, pressing a kiss to your lips. You hummed. You sat in your bed surrounded by spontaneous baby gifts. You stroked your hand over his high cheekbones. There was nowhere else you should’ve been. This is where you belonged; with your Trent; and that’s just what he was… yours. Trent’s words cut off your moment of reverie. “Not just for these. Thank you for giving me our child.” He spoke softly, rubbing his hands up your sides.
“Ours” you whispered sealed with a kiss.
•
Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you thought of the chapter / series … 🤍 This was so fun to write and I really hope you enjoyed it.
Go read the first chapter of the sequel series ‘Ours’ xx
#trent alexander arnold x reader#trent alexander arnold#trent alexander arnold imagines#you’re mine fic#taa x reader#taa66
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FicRecs
Enjoy some of my favorite stories I've come across on Tumblr! Seriously, I LOVE these stories and I reread them A LOT!
Please note: Virtually ALL OF THESE STORIES ARE SMUT. That means 18+ content, and you are responsible for managing your internet consumption. Minors DNI.
FicRecs
DC Comics
Dance for Daddy by @matth1w LAWD. I love me some Roman Sionis fics and this one DELIVERS. Sexy, kinky, smutty I give it a solid Chefs Kiss.
Joy Ride and Let Me Make You Feel Good, The Intern by @littleredwing89 More delicious Roman Sionis one shots Joy ride is about teasing Roman as he drives and Let Me Make You Feel Good is about a sweet smutty cure for a hangover. And the Intern, a fuck buddies to lovers story, god yum. Reader inserts. Drool. Go forth read and enjoy.
Bait the Beast by @more-cardigan-than-womanLord help me, I found a new little gem. You cause a bit of a ruckus with Coblepot and Roman thinks you need a lesson.
Yours by @tarrenterror25set in the AO! Verse Roman is having some trouble during the holidays overcoming everything the Joker did to him, good thing he has you. Because he does. You're his now. Melt. Sorry about the mess.
Star Wars
Water and Rock by @split-spectrum I honestly cannot say enough good things about this story It follows Obi-wan/Fem Reader in the classic Master/Padawan troupe and it. is. SPICY. Up to twelve chapters which I have read MULTIPLE TIMES and it hits so hard. Go read this story it is sexy as HELL and gives you the feels. She's so damn good at writing Obi-Wan it hurts, but like in a kinky good way.
The Gift by @ladyinwriting18 I have already spoke at length about the fabulousness that is Lady in Writing and her amazing content. This one is a favorite! Its a Maul/Reader Insert and it is smutty sxy and kinky. Seriously if Maul is your fictional crush (Hi me too!), go read this.
The Three Princes Part One: The Oldest Profession by @thenightmarketofdathomir This writer is freaking legendary. I do not know the collection of words in my own language to describe the eloquence and sophistication this writer possesses. Just go. Go read this and you let me know if you're ever the same again. This gem stars our boy Feral and is a you/reader insert. Oh damn, this story makes me want things...
Birthday Wish, Romancing the Pages, The Write Seduction, To Create Life, by @jedianjakenobi Y'all, this author holds a special place in my writer's heart. She's a published author on Amazon and she's truly amazing. Her works are all Obi-Wan-centered and reader inserts. Birthday Wish is a birthday crush from your sexy neighbor, Romancing the Pages is a fake relationship/summer romance with a reclusive shy librarian (Ben) and a best-selling author, The Write Seduction is a professor Kenobi/writing student story and it is SPICY. And my favorite To Create Life is a Jedi Council green lights a baby-making program and who else is the reader paired with? Their good friend Padawan Kenobi. My darlings, my friends, if you like Obi-Wan smut then you are doing yourselves a disservice by NOT reading these.
Empty Me Out by @221bshrlocked reader insert/DOM Obi-Wan I'm tellin y'all this story NEARLY killed me. I've lost track of how many times I've readit. You're an entertainer and Master Kenobi needs information from you, so you give him what he wants and then he gives you what you want. Where it Wasn't massage therapy reader insert/Obi-Wan, do I need to say more? Pretty sure I melted into the floor with this one.
His Loving Satine by @waterlily707 I love reader insterT and OCs but these two Obi-Wan and Satine are a joy to read. Temporary paralyzed Obi-Wan at the "mercy" of a slightly dom Satine. Juicy, gorgeous, little bit of fluff. Love it.
Room 24 by @murdockussy Little angsty Obi-Wan/reader insert enemies to lovers in an undercover assignment-type situation. Spicy, dom Obi-Wan give. Me. More.
Tea with Lemon, Tea with Honey by @wickedscribbles an established relationship as a reader insert and Obi-Wan. If you want honey then you get to take care of a sick Obi-Wan and kind out you have a new kink, if you want Lemon then Obi-Wan takes advantage of said kink and whisks you away to another planet for some R&R under the guise of "work." Enjoy!
Actors/Characters
Ben Hardy
Hold Me Close, Don't Let Me Go by @stray-kaz God. This one shot is just sxy as hell, it's a Billy/Four fro, 6 Underground/Female Reader. Our boy comes home to one hell of an 'I missed you, I need you right now' welcome. GO read it. Right now.
Such an Experience by @rogermyreligionOk. Guys... FUCK, this is a hot little oneshot Roger Taylor of Queen/Female reader and OMG. Just go read it. I've officially stopped counting how many times I've read this. Smutty/Sexy. I'm dead.
Long Distance by @acciotwinzwinz. Y'ALL. Sit your asses down and read this Roger Taylor/Reader insert/You. It's fluffy, its sexy, its cute and the smut is -chefs kiss- Yes, I read this one a lot too.
For now, these are some of my favorites that I frequently reread because I love them. I'll probably be adding more, it's more than likely I've forgotten some...
#fic rec#ben hardy characters#star wars#dc comics#jason todd#roman sionis#all smut all the way#billy/four x reader#roger taylor#obi wan x reader#obi-wan smut#roman sionis smut#jason todd smut#darth maul x you#darth maul smut#Support writers content#My favorite fanfics
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Do you have any good post-canon wangxian angst recs? I want to bathe in them working through their trauma, but all I see is fluff :'(
Someone is asking me for wangxian fic recs? MY MOMENT HAS COME. Let’s see what three years of mainlining wangxian fics can come up with. Though I am not quite sure exactly what kind of angst you want, so forgive me if I don’t quite hit what you are looking for. But I will do my best! (And thanks for an excuse to revisit so many of these and download them so I don't lose them some day.)
Post-canon they aren’t together yet fics:
Wearing Down Every Bone by CHSfic, VSfic (explicit) This is a post-canon WWX gets caught in a time loop, forced to relive the same day over and over again. Angst galore and just so good.
Always Light My Way by cqlorphan (explicit) This is a post-canon, they aren’t together, but LWJ offers to “Dual Cultivate” in order to help WWX rebuild his core. Lots of misunderstanding, tons of fucking while pining, and clearing out some of their mutual baggage.
hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (explicit) The one where WWX is trying to get his shit together before he sees LWJ again, but really doesn’t manage it. He suffers from debilitating nightmares. Lots of hurt/comfort.
But You Always Return by uponmountains (teen) this is a post-canon fic where lwj gets cursed to live out his worst nightmare over and over again until he dies.
Night Breezes Seem to Whisper by cqlorphan (explicit) This is a great “they didn’t get together and are forced to confess due to a ‘fuck or die’ curse” fic. Very melancholy, some painful misunderstandings and finally important communication.
Stuck under the moon by perilously (explicit) This is a great post-canon fic where lwj seems to treat wwx with painful indifference upon his return, when he’s really been cursed. Really digs into wwx’s insecurities, but also how well he knows lwj.
Post-canon they ARE together fics:
The Guests of Cloud Recesses by cafecliche (teen) Hard one to explain without giving it away, but some really nice angst here, with both of them dealing with the lingering echoes of the years wwx was dead and what it means to be haunted.
ghost out on the water by twigofwillow (teen) You want angst? This is a post-canon wwx amnesia fic that hurts SO MUCH. I really can’t even re-read it, it hurts so good.
the low sky, raining over by chibilwj (Mature) This is an interesting look at married wangxian and their relationship to being parents and the ways a lot of things still aren’t simple.
Take Root, Come Home by piecrust (G) This one deals with LWJ’s fears after post-canon. Really lovely how his fears prey on him and how WWX trying not to take up too much space just makes it worse.
To Know, To Be Known series by cqlorphan (explicit) this is a series of fics that explore the sexual side of wangxian’s relationship, especially lwj being unwilling to state his desires and interests. A really fascinating glimpse into both characters and how they navigate intimacy and communication. Not really angsty, but it does require some discomfort and slow negotiation and opening up with each other if you are looking for a “I want wangxian to have to put work into their relationship” fic.
a kind of emptiness by ScarlettStorm (explicit) This is a great fic looking into Wei Wuxian’s trauma, especially around food. There’s angst and worry here.
the absence of hunger by parsnipit (mature) Another great wwx and his relationship with food fics. “Clear communication is sexy!”
Close Your Soft Eyes by timetoboldlygo (g) This fic deals with LWJ’s trauma, his fears around WWX being gone. (Maybe fluffy?)
Post-canon fics with angst and juniors dealing with the fallout of their elders’ history and trauma:
Rotten Work by ShanaStoryteller (unrated) This is a fic wherein wwx wanders the world alone and Jin Ling realizes no one is looking after him and takes it upon himself. I like this one because it’s so clear the “elder” generation is so messed up and Jin Ling is determined to do better.
Proximity to Knowledge by ChilianXianzi (teen) This is another great juniors fic dealing with how WWX is treated post-canon. Civil disobedience!
the stone-filled sea by yukla (teen) This is more Lan Sizhui dealing with how the world sees WWX. Not a rosy look at the cultivation world.
other post-canon faves, which are maybe the “fluffy” ones you are NOT looking for, but I couldn't stand leaving out because I love them:
i hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (mature)
the hidden source is the watchful heart by o_honeybees (explicit)
You, Asleep and Dreaming by entymologyplayground (mature)
Happy reading!
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I Wonder About You - Pt. 5
Hi, I’ve missed you all :)
Request from @waywardsistersandpie:
“Hi Sam!
I was wondering if I could request a really angsty Dean x Reader One Shot based of this?
I Wonder About You by Robert M. Drake.”
Summary: Is it possible to love with a broken heart?
How many times can the muscle be shattered and put back together?
How can it pump blood–keep you alive–when it’s held together with pieces of tape and rubber bands?
How can the person that stomps on it over and over also be the one that keeps it from turning to dust?
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: Angst
*I do not own pics or gifs
Masterlist | Tag Yourself!
Dean
The last week had been torture for Dean.
Not only had this nightmares returned, but for some reason he had actually listened to Sam.
All he knew when he saw you laying in your bed and unmoving last week was that he wanted to fix it. So when Sam came out of your room and forcefully told him to give you space, he listened. Sammy was your best friend, after all. Dean was sure his little brother knew what you needed.
Of course, this also meant that he hadn’t gotten to hang out with his best friend in a week.
He missed goofing around with you. He missed picking on you. He missed watching Dr. Sexy with you.
And most of all—not that he would ever admit it to anyone—he missed having you there at night to talk him through his nightmares. The way your fingers would card softly through his hair as he tried to fall back asleep. The way you’d ground him—remind him where he really was and that you were there. The warmth of your body next to his as you inevitably fell asleep next to him for the rest of the night.
Why was it so hard to leave you alone, though? He missed his best friend, of course. But you were his friend. Friends come and go. It was a part of life. And you hadn’t even really gone. He was just giving you space.
He hadn’t realized how much you’d become a part of his day to day.
Waking up to a beautiful woman laying next to him was nice, of course. Any guy would like that.
But it was something different with you. Dean realized that waking up with you next to him made him smile. He thought about how he would sometimes watch you after he woke and you were still asleep. He would memorize the way your hair fell across his pillow, making a note to inhale the scent your shampoo left there later.
He looked forward to making you laugh every day. He loved the sound of your giggles, like little peals of a bell. He loved the way your brow would crinkle when he annoyed you--the little shove you’d give him when he made fun of you.
All of those things, he was starting to realize, weren’t things he paid much attention to. He’d ignored them, attributing them to your friendship.
The absence of you in his life made him realize the truth:
You were more than his best friend. You were everything.
“Hey, have you seen Y/N?” Dean asked, jogging into the kitchen.
Sam sighed, shaking his head as he grabbed a glass from the cupboard.
“I thought you were leaving her alone,” he replied as he turned around.
“I was. But then I realized something. Just...do you know where she is?”
“I don’t know, Dean. Check her room.”
Dean ignored his brother’s sass and turned around, jogging back down the hall to your room. He knocked on the door, and when there was no response, he cracked it open.
“Y/N?” he said. He flipped on the light, shocked when the room was illuminated.
No…
Your room was empty. All of your personal items were gone. Your pictures of you and the brothers that usually sat on your dresser; your stuffed dog you’d had since you were a kid that usually sat on the bed; your entire wardrobe; gone.
He pulled out his phone and tapped your name in his contacts. It rang twice, then went to voicemail. After that happened three more times he stopped trying.
Panic flooded his mind, his brain unable to make his body move.
He couldn’t lose you. Not now. Not when he had finally realized when you meant to him.
“Sam! Sammy!” He yelled, his legs finally finding the strength to move him into the hall.
”What?!” Sam asked, alarmed as he came around the corner. His face fell when looked behind Dean and into your room.
“Where the fuck did she go?” Dean asked, not sure if the question was rhetorical or actually aimed at his brother.
Sam sighed. “I thought she was doing better. I had no idea she’d…”
”She’d what, Sam?” Dean felt anger rising at his brother for not sharing whatever had been going on with you lately. “Leave? Tell me what this has all been about! Tell me why she needed ‘space’ for the last week, and why she only needed it from me?”
Sam sighed again, running a hand through his hair. “What it’s about isn’t mine to tell. You’ll have to talk to her.”
Dean was seething. “Well, I can’t exactly do that right now, can I, Sam?” He said through gritted teeth.
“Dude, get your fucking anger under control. This is not my fault.” Sam replied, his voice unwavering.
”Then whose is it?” He demanded rather than asked.
Sam glared at him, but didn’t give anything away. “It doesn’t matter. I can find her,” he said, turning suddenly and leaving Dean in your room alone. He glanced around at the empty room for another moment before stomping down the hall after his brother.
”She and I shared our locations a few hunts ago in case we got split up,” Sam said, grabbing his phone off of the counter. He tapped around for a moment before turning the screen to face Dean.
There, on the map that had been zoomed in, was a little blue dot with the name “Y/N” next to it. Dean used two fingers to zoom it out a little, looking at the bigger picture to see where you’d gone.
“Let’s go,” he said, once again not asking. Sam nodded, not needing to be convinced.
Dean still felt confused and in the dark about why you’d left, but it didn’t matter. He was going to find you and tell you how he felt, and nothing would stop him.
You
”Hiya! Want me to make you some pancakes?”
The question pulled you from the daze you were in, making you blink hard to return moisture to your now-dry eyes.
Your mouth pulled up into a half-smile, your appreciation for Donna making its way through your depression.
“I’m not hungry, Donna, but thanks,” you replied. You were sitting pretzel-style in the middle of the bed in her guest room, where you’d been staying for the last two days.
After a week of the silent treatment from Dean, you couldn’t stand it anymore. You had to leave the bunker. You had to get away from the heartbreak you were feeling and the face of the man who had become indifferent toward you.
Once you realized Dean didn’t need you anymore—in any capacity—you couldn’t stop the pain of not being with him from invading. And while you’d convinced Sam that things were better, it was all a lie.
So you’d packed up your room in the night and drove your car to Stillwater, where Donna welcomed you with open arms. She didn’t fully know the reason you’d had to leave the bunker, but she knew it was something to do with the Winchesters, and she didn’t question it further than that.
“Gosh, I know food’s probably not the answer. Heck, it wasn’t when I got divorced, either.” Donna said, walking into the room and perching herself on the edge of the bed. “I just can’t help but offer when someone looks as sad as you do, though, kiddo.”
“Thanks again for letting me stay, Donna. I’ll figure out what I’m doing next and be out of your hair soon, I promise,” you replied, dodging a response to her comment.
”Don’t you worry about that. You just do whatever you need to do and take whatever time you need. I’ve got plenty of room!” She opened her arms and leaned over, enveloping you in a hug. It reminded you of your mother’s hugs, a lifetime ago. It gave you the smallest bit of comfort.
You missed the boys terribly, though. Sam was your best friend, and not being able to see him was like torture, especially when you were trying to work through your sadness. And even through all your feelings for Dean, you couldn’t help but miss watching Dr. Sexy, MD with him and even the way he would tease you just to get a reaction.
None of that mattered, though. Being in the same home as Dean knowing that he didn’t feel the way you did was just too hard.
So when you heard the all-too-familiar sound of Baby’s engine rumbling outside Donna’s house, you were half-convinced you were imagining it or that it was wishful thinking.
“Oh boy,” you heard Donna say from down the hall. “You better get out here, Y/N.”
Your eyes widened at the realization that she heard it, too. You jumped up from the bed, jogging down the hall to the front door. Donna was looking out the little window next to it, her eyes wide as well.
“Want me to tell them to leave?” She asked, her eyes searching yours.
“No, Donna. I can’t say I’m surprised they found me. I’m just surprised they would bother,” you said, your brain trying to understand why it wasn’t just Sam climbing out of the beloved car.
“Of course they would, sweetie,” Donna replied, placing a hand on your shoulder. “No matter what happens, you mean the world to those boys. Anyone can see that.”
You smiled sadly, unsure if you believed her. “Mind if I talk to them alone for a moment?”
Donna smiled, giving your shoulder a squeeze before dropping her hand. “You betcha,” she said, heading back down the hall toward her room.
You breathed in deeply, pulling open the door.
Dean
Dean could barely breathe, he was so nervous. The steps he took to Donna’s front door felt like they took an eternity, and the fear of the unknown nearly froze him to the spot before he could reach up to knock.
It didn’t matter, though. The door slowly opened to reveal you on the other side, your face unreadable.
Dean’s breath caught in his throat when he saw you. He’d always known you were beautiful, but his recent revelations only made you look that much more gorgeous to him. Looking at you, he felt something click into place that had been missing for the last week. The time spent apart from you had been slowly tearing him in two, and even just the mere proximity of you started repairing the rift. It was all he could do to not run to you, to scoop you up in his arms and kiss you.
You didn’t even know how he felt about you, though. And for all he knew, you didn’t feel the same way about him at all.
So he waited, his eyes darting between yours as he searched for some sign that you were even willing to talk to him.
You didn’t say anything, just slowly pulled the door open further, stepping to the side to grant the brothers access. They walked past you and into Donna’s living room, taking seats on the couch across from the armchair you’d claimed.
Dean cleared his throat, swallowing hard. He wasn’t even sure how to start with everything he wanted to say to you.
“Listen, Y/N…I need—I need to talk to you, a-about…feelings.” he stammered. He knew he sounded like an idiot but wasn’t sure there was anything he could do to fix that.
Your face changed instantly, your eyebrows pulling together in anger. Dean watched, confused, as your gaze shifted to Sam.
”You told him?!” you yelled. Sam’s eyes became alarmed and he looked like he was going to say something, but you continued furiously.
”How could you do that, Sam? After everything we’ve been through—all the secrets I’ve kept for you? You went and told your stupid brother that I’m in love with him?!”
Dean felt his eyes go wide.
Sam closed his eyes, pursing his lips. “No, Y/N, I did not tell him. But you just did.” He said, giving you a pointed look. Dean watched as the color drained from your face.
”You—you love me?” Dean was able to get out. He was in disbelief.
You squeezed your eyes shut against the tears that had begun to well up. A few dropped down your cheeks, and if Dean hadn’t been so shocked, he knew he would have run to you so he could wipe them away.
“Yes, you idiot,” you said after a few moments. “And I’m sorry to freak you out. You’ve made it pretty clear you don’t see me that way, and that was why I left. I didn’t want to pretend anymore. I couldn’t pretend anymore. It’s better this way,” you said, suddenly standing and shaking your head as you paced. “I’ll be gone, and there won’t be some lovesick puppy dog at your heels all the time, breaking into your room at night just because you had a scary dream,” you finished, turning to face him. The tears flowed freely down your cheeks now, and Dean finally broke through his shock to stand up and go to you.
You looked taken aback at his sudden movement, and Dean noticed through his hunter senses alone that Sam had gotten up and sneaked out of the room. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was thankful for the privacy.
”Y/N,” he said, taking your face in his hands. “You’re not freaking me out, and yes, I am an idiot,” he began, his eyes darting between yours. He finally used his thumbs to wipe your tears. “I should have known. I should have seen it a long time ago.”
You still looked heartbroken, and Dean realized that you truly didn’t know how he felt about you. You’d been just as blind as he was.
”I don’t just mean I should have seen how you felt about me. I mean I should have seen it all. I should have seen that the best part of my day was messing around with you in the bunker. I should have seen that my best mornings were the ones when I woke up with you next to me. I should have seen that I wasn’t just annoyed or worried about you the night you brought that douche home from the bar, I was jealous as fuck. I should have seen it long before my brother told me to lock my door at night. Before I spent a miserable week avoiding you. Before I opened the door to your room and felt my heart shatter when I saw it was empty.”
Your face changed, suddenly confused. You had the little wrinkle between your eyebrows that you got when you were thinking hard that Dean always loved so much.
“I love you, Y/N. I’m sorry it took me so long. And I cannot believe the sheer luck my dumb ass has that you love me, too.”
A smile finally graced your lips, and Dean couldn’t keep himself from staring at them. He didn’t think he could wait a second longer to feel them against his own. He leaned in, slowly at first, to give you time to reject him if you wanted to. Judging by the way you grabbed the back of his neck and slammed your lips to his, though, that wasn’t going to happen.
Forevers:
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Deanies/Jensen:
@tftumblin @deans-baby-momma @akshi8278 @weepingwillowphoenix @playingdeep17 @justanotherwinchester @flamencodiva @caligraphee @jxackles @kalesrebellion @heavensangel45135 @screechingartisancashbailiff @miufel @squirrelnotsam @lovely-lynns-likes @smokinserious @notan-applepielife @screechingartisancashbailiff
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4 AM
Credits: prompt idea from @foxy-eva Criminal Minds Writing Challenge! Hurt/Comfort prompt: Nowhere else to go: Person A didn't know where else to go in a time of need, so they ring B's doorbell. Betaing credits to @doctorstethoscope and @greg-montgomery- I would never post anything if you guys didn't tell me to <3
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Haley Hotchner (post-slash?), Aaron Hotchner & blank slate Fem!Reader (no use of y/n) (platonic-ish)
Word Count: 3.4k
Warnings: Unrequited love, discussions of divorce and parenting, Hotch's take on Haley leaving him, big sexy man cries a little, mentions of cases, angsty
A/N: I'm back with a song fic about Hotch's marriage crumbling, because apparently that's the only thing that can drag me out of my burnout era. Inspo song is 4 AM by Cate, and I highly recommend giving it a listen!!
Yes, this is angstier than I meant for it to be. Yes, I'm already working on a part 2 :)
Find it on ao3 here, or under the cut. Happy reading <3
Next part | Series masterlist | My masterlist
Why don’t you come over?
It’s only friendship we’ll risk
You can cry on my shoulder
If it’s her that you miss
Are you thinking of me
In a new light?
‘Cause if not wе could pretend for the night, for thе night
“Why don’t you come over for a little bit tonight?”
“It… it doesn’t even matter–”
“How long is your drive?”
Aaron’s sigh into the phone receiver is audible. You can almost picture him right now, his face screwed up in frustration and two fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose. “I’m… not far. I’m at a motel twenty minutes from Quantico. She offered to stay at Jessica’s house, but… I don’t want Jack to know what’s going on.”
This certainly wasn’t the conversation you were expecting to have when you phoned your boss in the evening, intending to apologize for the late hour and let him know that you would be sending a file to him that would need to be reviewed first thing in the morning. You were expecting a brief, rushed call. You weren’t expecting him to pocket-answer the phone so that you had an accidental front-row seat to the sound of your boss checking into a motel room for one guest.
When he finally heard your voice calling out, “Aaron!” from his pocket and realized what was going on, he had bashfully explained; another fight with Haley, a bad one. You know that they’re all bad these days, but his admittance meant that it was worse than usual. It had ended with both of them packing bags, insisting that the other stay at their house, and Hotch driving off before she could.
You can’t pretend that you aren’t a little surprised that he shared all of this without much prompting. But now, you just want to see him and know that he’s okay. You just want to make this better… but how can you do that?
Maybe it’s not your place to get involved at all. You would be the first to admit that, sure, you have a minor crush on your very married colleague, and maybe that means that you should be staying away from his marital problems with a twenty-foot pole. But if he needs help, you’re certainly going to offer it.
“I don’t want to say it, but… do you really think Jack doesn’t know? You two have been having a lot of problems, and he’s a smart kid.”
“I know. I know. But it’s not… we can work it out. We can figure something out. There’s no need to stress him out or make him think that we’re going to get a divorce. I don’t want him put through all of that, for something that won’t happen.” The pain in Aaron’s voice is as audible as his words, and the sheer emotion behind it… it just breaks your heart.
It’s your turn to sigh now, letting your head tip back and rest on the back of your couch. “Are you sure you don’t want to come over? It’s really no trouble, I promise. I’ve got a guest room; you can stay as long as you need.”
Now, there’s a familiar firmness in his tone. It’s that decisive I-know-best voice he uses when he really believes in what he’s saying. “I’m sure. I appreciate the offer, but I’ll be home by tomorrow. We’ll work this out. I… appreciate you speaking to me about this. I’m sure it’s not why you called.”
If he could see you, you would wave a hand in the air as if to say, ‘Don’t worry about it’. “Anytime, Aaron. And that offer stands, you hear me?”
This standing offer of yours might be a bad idea. What if he takes you up on it? What if he comes over, seeking your company? Your conflicting feelings for him are easy enough to set aside at work, but if he’s coming over because of his rocky marriage that’s a whole other battlefield you don’t have a clue how to navigate.
Aaron loves his wife. You know that he does. He adores her and their son, right down to his nightly phone calls with them on cases and the picture of the two that he keeps in his go bag. But sometimes, on the occasional event that he relaxes around you, you can’t help wondering if he could ever think of you the same way he thinks of Haley.
He could, you’re sure of that. He’s a red-blooded man, and even though that’s a little cliche of you, you can’t help but wish he would think of you as more than a colleague. You’re a woman who sees him more often than his own wife does, and that’s got to count for something. Does he really just view you as a colleague and friend, or… does he ever view you as something more?
Sometimes, you think maybe he does. During your last case – an abduction in South Dakota – the two of you had been canvassing together down a busy street when a biker rode past. Aaron had noticed in the nick of time, pulling you in towards him and out of the way of harm. He loves his wife more than anything, and you know that he was just keeping you from getting hurt. But for a moment, for just a split second, you had let yourself imagine that it was a gesture of more-than-friends, that he was pulling you in because he wanted to be closer to you.
So maybe this offer is a terrible, awful idea. You can admit that it probably is, but at least he doesn’t seem to be taking you up on it.
“I hear you.” There’s a bit of a smile in his voice now, as though he knows how serious you’re being and he finds it amusing. “Thank you, again. Have a nice night.”
Before you can respond, he hangs up. With a sigh, you set down the phone. It’s starting to get late now; you might as well go to sleep if he’s not coming over.
–
When you wake up, your bedroom is completely dark. Your alarm isn’t ringing on the nightstand, and when you roll over in bed you read the time on the digital clock. 3:46 AM.
So what the hell woke you up?
Your answer comes in the form of a knocking sound, loud enough to get your attention without being an obnoxious pounding sound. The noise is coming from… somewhere, so you get out of bed and slip on a robe over your pajamas to find the source of the noise.
The hunt leads you to your front door, where that steady knocking is coming from the other side. Someone is knocking on your door, at the late hour, and in a haze of grogginess and confusion, you wrench the door open.
“What is- Aaron?”
He’s standing on your step, his hand raised like he’s ready to knock again. His face… god. His face is full of pain, unimaginably pure pain, and he nods at you. “Hi. I’m sorry, I… you were sleeping. I’m sorry. I didn’t…”
His voice breaks a little, and that’s when you reach out. With one hand on his shoulder, you steer him into the house and close the door. “Are you okay? You didn’t… what?”
When you guide Aaron to the couch, he sits down without hesitation. His voice is drenched with despair when he says, “I didn’t… know where else to go. You said that the, er, offer was standing, right?”
“What? Yes, of course, it is. Aaron, what’s going on?” You sink down onto the couch next to him, watching him inhale deeply like he’s trying to ground himself. The tiny part of you that preens when he says that he didn’t know where else to go… well, you try to fight that part back. Right now, the priority is Aaron. The priority is not your ridiculous, unrealistic crush on him. “I thought you were staying at the motel tonight and going home tomorrow.”
“I did, too. Haley texted me a little while ago. She… she told me that she wants to figure out a… custody agreement that recognizes her as Jack’s primary parent. She wants to… work that out before she gets her lawyer involved.” He gives you a sardonic little smile, one that fills you to the brim with empathy as he continues to speak. “Apparently, when she said she would stay at her sister’s house, she meant indefinitely. I can expect to be served the… papers in the next week.”
He says ‘papers’ in a bitter tone, like the very sound of the word puts a bad taste in his mouth. It’s not hard to piece two and two together, and you slowly reach for his hand. He lets you take it, and you give him a moment before you ask the question.
“You and Haley are divorcing?” Compartmentalizing this has to be one of the most strong-willed things you’ve ever done. This isn’t the time for your feelings and emotions to be anywhere near the surface; not when Aaron needs you like this.
At the d-word, he flinches a little like he’s been wounded. He obviously hasn’t come to terms with the idea of it yet, and you wonder how long it’s been since she texted him. “We aren’t divorcing. She’s divorcing me.” His correction is swift, and his voice is brittle; it feels like he’s close to shattering. Seeing him like this – so vulnerable, so broken – is completely alien to you.
“Aaron…” You don’t know what to say, so you squeeze his hand. In lieu of any other words, you ask the stupidest possible question. “How do you feel?”
He laughs a little, at that. It isn’t genuine, but it’s not a cruel laugh either. It’s a little bit cynical, a little disbelieving. “I just found out that my wife is leaving me. It’s 4 AM, and I’m tired, and I can’t go home. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel, right now.”
“I know. I know, I’m sorry. It was dumb of me to ask.” You move a little closer to him, the couch cushions shifting under you until you’re almost pressed against him. “You can talk about it, if you want to. You can tell me everything that’s going through your head.”
Aaron takes another deep breath at that, and his hold on your hand tightens a little. “She isn’t happy. She hasn’t been happy, and we both knew it. I just… I didn’t think this would happen. I know she wants me around more- wanted me around, I suppose. Lately, most of our fights have been about work. Haley wanted me to leave the BAU, the Bureau if it came down to it, and I refused. And I can’t blame her for wanting a normal life, or wanting me to work at a 9 to 5, but… I can’t do that.”
His monologue has shaken every remaining ounce of grogginess out of your system. Aaron so rarely opens up, especially about personal matters. Listening to him talk like this, you could go all night long without a cup of coffee.
Come to think of it, coffee is a really good idea. Standing up, you give him a small, sympathetic smile. “I’m just going to make us some coffee. You look like you need it.”
The open-concept design means that you only move a few feet away to get to the coffeemaker in the kitchen, and you look over at Aaron as you scoop grounds into the basket. “Why can’t you leave the BAU?” Your question is soft, not accusatory.
He hears your tone, the general curiosity, and sighs. “When I was a lawyer, I prosecuted dozens of murder cases. By the time they reached my desk, it always felt like it was too late. And I wanted to, uh… stop them, before they got to my desk. We see a lot of things, you know? Jack… I don’t want him growing up in a world like this, with serial killers around every corner. I want to make the world a safer place for him. I suppose I thought that… I thought that because I’m doing it for my family, that would make it… easier for her to deal with.”
By the time Aaron finishes speaking, you’re handing him a cup of coffee. It’s sweetened with a bit of sugar and some cream; he usually drinks it black, but you know he considers any other kind of coffee to be a treat. If there’s ever been a time for him to deserve a treat, it’s now.
“You’re a good dad,” you tell him as you sink back down onto the couch with a mug of your own. “I know that you and Haley might have different ideas about what parenting should look like, but… you’re doing this because you love him. You want to protect him, and keep him safe and innocent. That doesn’t make you a monster for missing bedtime.”
It’s silent for a long moment; the only sound is both of you sipping your coffees, and then Aaron hums quietly. “I just… I never want him to know what kind of people are out there. He’s a little kid. I’m supposed to be there to tell him that there isn’t a monster under his bed. Instead, I spent his birthday in Mississippi looking for a guy who hunts his victims by actually hiding under their beds. I can’t blame Haley for being upset with me.”
You’re still trying to think of a response to that when he speaks again. His voice softens now, and when you glance over he looks away quickly. It’s not quick enough, and you still make note of the tears in his eyes that he’s obviously trying to hide. “We’ve been together since high school, you know. Graduation, college, law school… all of it.”
“I had no idea,” you murmur. You knew that Aaron and his wife were together for a long time, obviously. But to be together since high school? That’s a hefty chunk of time; it’s more than half as long as he’s been alive. “I’m sorry, Aaron. I… I can’t even imagine how you feel.”
“If it helps, neither can I. I don’t… I have no clue how I feel,” he admits, setting down the coffee cup. His gaze is still averted, but you can see the tears shining in his eyes. “Things haven’t been great for a while, and I know that. I’m not an idiot. But she’s always been there by my side, always. And now… she won’t be there, anymore.” His voice breaks a little on the last word, and it just… breaks your heart, all over again.
When you speak, it’s a little more tentative. Between his strict professionalism in the office and the reason for this impromptu 4 AM visit, you’re worried that you might be crossing some sort of line here. He’s got a wife at home; technically, he’s still married. That, and the reason for your offer is more selfish than you care to admit. But you don’t mind that as much as you probably should. After a pause, you say it.
“You can say no, but… do you want a hug?” Even as you ask the question, you start to get to your feet. Maybe to give him easy access, or maybe just so you can busy yourself with the coffee mugs if he says no.
A soft ‘oof’ escapes you when Aaron gets to his feet and hugs you tightly, like he’s just been waiting for you to ask. His arms wrap around your waist while your own come up to reach around him, rubbing his back gently in as reassuring of a manner as you can. Yes, your reason for this hug is selfish… It's selfish to take pride in the fact that you’re the one comforting him, reassuring him, and hopefully making him feel better.
You’re just about to let go – the guilt-ridden confliction of your emotions is almost too much to handle – when you feel and hear a sharp intake of breath against your shoulder, under your hand. It’s paired with the softest, most broken-sounding sob you can imagine. Aaron is trying to hold back that flood of emotion, that heartbreak that seems to surround him like it’s stuck alongside him inside an impenetrable bubble, and you tighten your grip on him a little.
“It’s okay,” you whisper, and you hope that you sound soothing. You hope that you can calm him, help him in some way. “You can let go, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.”
Aaron doesn’t respond. He’s silent against you as his face presses into your shoulder, but his back moves under your hand when he takes in another deep, shuddering breath. It isn’t until he pulls away and lowers his head that you realize that the shoulder of your robe is soaked with tears that you couldn’t feel through the layers of fabric.
His head is still down, and he wipes at his face like he can’t stand to have tears running down it. “I’m sorry,” he says after a long moment, and he turns away altogether while he presumably collects himself.
You allow him this privacy, this pseudo-solitude to wipe his face and straighten his posture and do whatever else he can to recover from his moment of sheer, sheer vulnerability. He’s starting to turn back by the time you say, “Don’t be. You’re hurting, Aaron. I want to be here for you, however I can be. If you want to talk about how much you miss her, and cry on my shoulder…” you shrug one of the aforementioned shoulders, a gesture meant to play off the tension of the moment, “Well, I’ve got two of them, so feel free. Whatever you need, okay? That’s a promise.”
With a little nod, Aaron wipes a hand under both eyes again. “I understand. I really appreciate it… I appreciate you. Just having you here, with me… it’s helped more than you know.”
A tight smile graces your face, and you pat his forearm as you step back. The coffee is starting to wear off, and you can feel the exhaustion down to your bones. It’s on his face too, in his eyes and the way they’re growing heavy with the need to sleep. “Of course. We can talk more in the morning, but I think for now you should try to get some sleep. Okay?”
Aaron straightens up, and you don’t miss the way his jaw flexes as he tries to suppress a yawn. “I think you’re right. Thank you, again.”
“There’s no need to thank me,” you promise, leading him down the hall towards the guest bedroom right next door to yours. “Just get some rest, and… tomorrow can wait. Everything else can wait, for now.”
“It can wait,” Aaron agrees with a solemn nod, his voice quiet. He thanks you once again before you step away from the door, listening to it shut before you turn off all the lights and return to your own bedroom.
By the time you slip under your blankets, you can hear soft snores floating through the shared wall. It’s still hard to tell if you’ve overstepped, or if you’ve crossed some sort of line tonight. But for now… Aaron might have Haley in his head, but he’s fast asleep in your guest bedroom. You’re going to support him through this next stage of his life. Whatever the next few weeks or months may bring, you’ll be there.
You aren’t going to change his mind on anything. If he wants to contest the divorce, you’ll be there for him. If he wants to do it amicably, you’ll ask how you can help. If he realizes somewhere along the way that you could be the one for him, you certainly won’t argue.
You’ve already waited without hope for years. If he winds up single then maybe, just maybe, he’ll think of you in a new light one day. And if not… maybe you can just pretend he will, for tonight.
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Thanks for the tag @phenanthreneblue!
1. How many works do you have on AO3? Eight 2. What's your total AO3 word count? 7,656. So far I've only published short little one-shots. 3. What fandoms do you write for? Shepherds of Haven, Scarlet Hollow, and Ebon Light. 4. Top five fics by kudos 1. Had it Been Anyone Else (Ebon Light, it's Haron angst hours lol, spoilers for the end of the game on Ernol's route) 2. A New Room (Ebon Light, Haron fluff, spoilers for the end of the game) 3. Fog (Scarlet Hollow, Tabitha angst, no real spoilers) 4. An Unlikely Engagement (Shepherds of Haven, Kyrahlise/Blade, very, very minor spoiler for Chapter 8) 5. The Best Proof of Love is Trust (Shepherds of Haven, spoilers for Chapter 3 which is in the public demo) It doesn't escape me that they are almost in publication order 5. Do you respond to comments? Always! Though sometimes it takes me a while to do so. I rarely get them so it isn't that hard to respond to them. 6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Absolutely Had it Been Anyone Else! It's literally pure angst. Though when I write for Tabitha it always ends up angsty too, so Fog and The Secret of the Greenhouse aren't exactly sunshine and roses. 7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Some may disagree, but I think The Best Proof of Love is Trust has a very happy ending! 8. Do you get hate on fics? Not so far.
9. Do you write smut? No? Yes? I've written some, but haven't published any. Smut is hard for me to write because I visualize everything, and there's a lot to visualize in a smut scene compared to a scene without much action. So it's exhausting to write. Also I suspect it's harder to keep sustained enough interest to write a full scene because I'm on the asexual spectrum. It's not something I'm opposed to, it's just harder than other writing for me. That said, there is a sex scene I really want to write, but it probably won't be very sexy, lol! 10. Craziest crossover? Haven't written any. 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know. 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but it would be foolish to say it'll never happen. ;) 14. All time favourite ship? I could make a tier list, but I don't have a favorite anymore than I have a favorite food or tea or board game, lol! 15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I started a fic that's a newspaper article on Kyrahlise. It's written as a hit piece on the Hero of Haven, trying to imply she's actually a bad person. The reporter interviewed people in Ashtown who know her, but reading between the lines you figure out they didn't dig up anything and are just overly skeptical of a Diminished woman who quickly gained some fame and power. I planned to end it with a little segment from the perspective of someone Kyrah used to know, where they figure out she's now the Hero everyone won't shut up about. I still like the idea, I just doubt I'll ever finish it.
Also I started one where it's written like the reports from one of the people sent to spy on Blade. Thing is the spy knows Blade, so they see him falling for Kyrahlise and are like, "wtf?!? is she enchanting him? is he actually in love? omg he's so bad at this! wow, it looks like she actually likes him too!" Also they think Kyrah is super sus because a lot of the things she does don't make sense and aren't explained. (Full disclosure: this idea was heavily inspired by a conversation other people had on the ShoH patreon.) 16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and banter, always knowing where my characters are in a scene and what they are doing (the upside of the visualization thing), sweet/cute moments, and angst when I'm in the right mood. 17. What are your writing weaknesses? Finishing, lol! Editing, it's hard for me to let go of trying to be 'perfect'. I'll get really stuck on a sentence or paragraph and obsessively revise it even though it's fine, just because I think it can be better. I know it's not healthy or sustainable, and I'm working on it. (I can point to a particular sentence in a fic that I literally spent hours on!) Action! It's the same visualization problem I have with writing smut, it's a lot to keep in my head and it quickly wears me out. Getting the right voice for a lot of characters. My writing tends to be introspective and verbose, which doesn't work for everyone. So it's a struggle to find a balance between the character's voice and my natural writing style. 18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I think it's great, for other people to write! I'm pretty terrible at languages, and don't trust myself to get it right without consulting someone who knows that language. Given a lot of what I write for is fantasy with made up languages, that's not going to happen. 19. First fandom you wrote in? Ebon Light, in fact it's the reason I even tried writing in the first place! 20. Favorite fic you've written? I think it's a three way tie between: The Secret of the Greenhouse -- I think I did a good job getting some creepy vibes in such a short piece. It doesn't align with canon at all, but in my opinion it's my best Scarlet Hollow fic. The Best Proof of Love is Trust -- I feel like I succeeded at my goal of showing just how much thought Kyrahlise put into a big choice in Chapter 3, as well as some of her character and past. Had it Been Anyone Else -- I had the sudden need to break Haron's heart. I seem to have accomplished the mission since 100% of the comments mention it being either sad or heartbreaking.
Ngl, I don't know who to tag on this one. Because besides Phen, and one other person, I think most people I know only have one work on ao3, or none. So open tagging it is! If you see this and want to join in, consider yourself tagged, whether you are a mutual or not!
#yet again I don't know how to answer questions succinctly lol#I get lots of ideas for weird fics and I always struggle with finishing them because I assume no one wants to read them#yeah I write what I want but I know all the stories in my head already#I don't have a lot of energy so I focus on things other people will like too#so that's why I don't think the stories I mentioned above will ever get finished because they are more unconventional#but idk maybe I'm wrong and y'all want to read my weirder ideas? in which case please let me know if you do want to read them#seriously even if just two or three people like it then it's worth it to me to finish#tag game#fan fic writer questions#thank you husband for telling me how to spell succinctly I was at an absolute loss on that one lol
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Outtakes - Non-smut vol 2
AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist | vol 1
Hi friends! Sometimes we want fics that are SFW or we just want to make ourselves sad or we need a little pick me up. I'm here with a list of fics that have no (explicit) smut as of posting! They may have smutty thoughts or mild allusions to smut, but those are marked in the warnings!
Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.
updated 8/11/2024
i wonder if you stopped his world like you stopped mine
Frankie one shot by @chronically-ghosted
watching the woman he loves be with someone else is killing him, but for your sake, he manages. But when Benny's birthday loosens him up, he can't help but bear his soul over a phone call. Too bad you don't pick up and he's forced to leave the evidence in a voicemail.
pining, light angst, idiots in love, country music as a catalyst, romance, tw alcohol, tw drinking, hangovers, ultimately very fluffy
Ezra's Journal Entries
Ezra series by @littlemisspascal
This journal’s as good a place as any to admit the honest truth. So here it is: I wish with the entirety of my bloody, beating heart I could be the man you deserve, little love of mine. — Ezra recovers after the events of the film with the aid of a journal and the love of his life.
angsty fluff, Ezra’s dealing with the aftermath of the Green, language, 1st person POV (Ezra), dialogue in italics, angsty fluff, night terrors, PTSD, Ezra dealing with the aftermath of the Green, language, overuse of space metaphors, grief/dealing with loss of a sibling, mild reference of past injury, Part 11 could be read as suicidal ideation so please skip/be warned of that segment due to possible triggers
midnight strikes, where is my prince
Frankie one shot by @undercoverpena
he had been your neighbour. a man you'd stare at through blinds when he’d been on the front lawn. a man you’re now staring at through splintered shards of your mirror—because he saved you.
ANGST 😂. there’s mentions of a break-in. frankie is there and he has a gun, so you know we’re okay. angst. inspired by a scene from scandal-if you know, you know
The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
Marcus P one shot by @whataperfectwasteoftime
I am a visitor here. I am not permanent.
angst, breakups, mentions of Teresa x Patrick Jane
Constellations in his eyes
Dave York one shot by @janaispunk
Your fiancé stands you up on your birthday. Dave doesn’t.
infidelity, shitty boyfriend, angst, fluff, kissing, able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n
The One
Dieter one shot by @schnarfer
If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?
Bit of emotional torment, drink and drugs references, Dieter POV, happy ending? Always Fleabag coded.
House Arrest
Dieter one shot by @rulexofxnines
Dieter stays over at your place out of desperation. Things get out of hand so you take control of the situation.
forced proximity, only one bed, a goat
The Howler Monkey
Dieter one shot by @covetyou
You got him here, he was safely tucked away upstairs and everything was going, mostly, according to plan. So, who the fuck is screaming?
no smut but some nudity, implied drug use/addiction, little bit silly, mildly angsty, performance anxiety, screaming, Dieter Bravo's soft cock. basically mild hurt/comfort/fluff with my usual bit of silliness.
Vampire!Dieter
Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted
Interview with a vampire, gatsby style
flirting, a bit of blood, maybe dubcon due to The Thrall but i think it's safe to say we all want It from vampire!dieter
Paint With Me
Frankie one shot by @bitchesuntitled
You have a crush on the dad of your daughter’s best friend.
Sexual innuendos and cursing
Door Number Three
Javi G drabble by @morallyinept
Javi shows you what he keeps behind that mirrored door
Character talk alludes to sexy things.
The Infinity Cube
Various Pedro Boy series by @littlemisspascal
When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe?
language, fluff, angst, references to sex but no smut
Hello to the Green
Ezra one shot by @the-blind-assassin-12
Down a ship, a crew, and a working air filter, and suffering from a rapidly worsening infection, Ezra makes one last ditch effort to get home. And he hopes it’s enough.
language, angst, injury and illness, death
Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To
Joel one shot by @freelancearsonist
Joel finds a familiar face while out on a smuggling run.
Rated PG for pure angst, one single kiss, and references to Joel's self-inflicted gun wound/self harm
You're the Loss of My Life
Din one shot by @beskarandblasters
You reminisce on your time with your riduur after his death.
whole lotta angst, fluff in the form of memories, riduur = spouse, talks of death
Sun to Me
Javi P one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin
Javi wakes up early to do chores, but can’t peel himself away from you just yet.
some PTSD related stuff, smoking and drinking (come on its javi) but other than that just some sweet domestic fluff, reader is able-bodied but otherwise undescribed.
Delicate
Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters
You play with Joel’s hair during a moment of anguish.
angst with a fluffy ending
Observations
Joel one shot by @ezrasbirdie
You're not like the other girls, but it'd be easier if you were. Joel Miller doesn't see it that way.
lots of feelings of insecurity, reader is neurodivergent, this very soft, Joel is very soft, reader is in her 30s, Joel is in his 50s
Duality of a Man
Joel series by @wildemaven
A woman shows up at your door looking for your boyfriend
Mentions of food, Mentions of killing, death, birth, birth trauma
Imperfect for you
Joel one shot by @joelscruff
you never thought joel miller would accidentally call you baby.
age gap (joel is mid 40s, reader is 23), fluff, very brief instance of blood, tending to a wound, joel is eepy, soft kisses, cuddles
What it is to grow
Joel one shot by @burntheedges
Joel knows he can't keep running from it – from Her – forever.
angst, hurt/comfort, hope, mentions of the canon depths of Joel’s depression (pills, alcohol, darkness, etc.), canon character death (Sarah), AU with Greek lore/gods & goddesses in the TLOU universe, character study
Back to You
Din series by @kyberblade
You’ve been friends with Mando for years, and he drops by your hole in the wall bar from time to time to catch up. This time, however, he’s carrying an extra little green passenger with him. They are on the run, which is unsettling because Mando doesn’t run from things. Things run from him. A tracking fob, a dead body, and a confession later, all three of you set out to help the child find it’s kind.
Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Angst, Humor, Friends to Lovers, Introspection, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Romantic Friendship, Emotions, Grogu | Baby Yoda Being a Little Shit, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Protective Din Djarin, Good Parent Din Djarin, Soft Din Djarin, Force-Sensitive Reader, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Spicy thoughts, but no smut
Midnight Rainstorms
Javi P one shot by @thundermartini
Javier is coming home late, escaping from a storm. You’re trying hard not to drown in the incessant rain.
no y/n, female reader, reader is not physically described (except she has long hair), javier and reader are married, mentions of anxiety, mentions of trauma, mentions of guilt, mentions of narcos plot but it’s a blur, nightmare so it may be triggering, grief, no beta.
Life and Loss
Joel one shot by @wildemaven
Momentos of him, your late husband, have remained tucked away for the last year following his unexpected death. As you settle into your new widowed life and new home over a thousand miles away from the life you created with Dave, all the beautiful memories reside in cardboard boxes out of sight.
death, grief/loss, major character death (no description of said death), AU and crossover universes, kind of fluffy, navigating loss, reader is non descriptive/blank slate.
Call It What You Want
Joel one shot by @chaotic-mystery
Who knew a storm would push you and Joel exactly where you wanted to be but never thought you’d end up?
shocker shocker, Mads wrote fluff for once! There’s a slight mention of arson and your house burning down but ya know, the rest of it is fluff. Nicknames, implied age gap but it’s not specified, storms. NO USE OF Y/N.
Stretch
Joel/Dieter one shot by @sp00kymulderr
Dieter introduces you to his yoga instructor.
M for mentions of sex. AU in which Joel is very flexible. Dieter is a menace. Daydreaming about a threesome. Reader is able bodied/takes part in a yoga class. No use of pronouns for reader but they are called babe & baby. No actual smut
Don't You Ever Grow Up
Joel one shot by @proxima-writes
Joel experiences many emotions as Sarah reaches the childhood milestone of getting her “big girl” bed.
FLUFF and like the kind of angst that makes you smile
Bittersweet Love
Dieter one shot by @ozarkthedog
Dieter is in recovery from drug addiction, the disease that cost him you. This is his first premiere after getting clean and his first one without you.
Angst but with a happy ending! mentions of drug use and alcohol but nothing graphic.
Where You Left Me
Frankie one shot by @chaotic-mystery
You meet Frankie for a date and reminisce about your relationship.
MAJOR character death. No movie AU but fuck Tom. This is overall angst heavy and please take care of yourself. Grief & loss, sadness, memories, I think that’s it? It’s just overall a bittersweet and tragically lovesick story. There’s no physical descriptions of reader other than wearing a black dress at one point and having hair that tickles Frankie’s nose. no y/n used
The Guard Dog
Pero Tovar one shot by @avastrasposts
Sent to your uncle's bleak castle in the north of England, you expect only a dreary existence until you meet his groundskeeper, a scarred, frightening Spaniard. But love in the Victorian era is not easy and life doesn't follow straight paths.
this is mainly all fluff with a bit of angst. Some of that casual racism and prejudice of the period rears its ugly head though. I've tried to keep the reader as blank as possible, but it's Victorian England and she's a lady so I have to presume she doesn't speak Spanish and has fair skin. No use of y/n.
Happy Reading!
#fic recs#the spreadsheet digest#fanfiction recommendations#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro fics#pedro pascal character fanfiction#The spreadsheet Digest Outtakes
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"My thoughts will echo your name"| Esteban Kukuriczka
Chapter three: “Until I found her.”
Lucia’s notes: I really do apologize in advance if this chapter is a bit slower or not as thrilling as the previous ones, but I kinda needed to give our sweet Kuku some more space to be himself in all his feels, some sad and piny, some more steamy and shmexy. I promise things will start picking up on the next chapter, which is actually, coming this Friday. @Y/IG/UN stands for Your instagram username. As usual, please let me know if I've let any mistakes get through
Playlist:
Apocalypse- Cigarettes after sex.
What a time- Julia Michaels, Niall Horan
Until I found you- Stephen Sanchez
The show- Niall Horan
Content Warning: This chapter is just basically from Kuku’s POV, lots of internal monologue and him pining over reader, basically him being quite an angsty mess for a bit. Brief, mild thoughts of sexy stuff, nothing too graphic, but if you do not want to read it, you can stop reading at “Every time kuku looked at Y/N…” after the first cut.
Word Count: 2kish
Kuku’s POV:
Esteban had never been one to envy what others had, even since he was a little boy, he had always been a generous, kind soul. He also really couldn’t complain about what life had sent his way, not that he hadn’t worked his ass off to get to where he was now, he knew all the success was much deserved. Why couldn’t he stop feeling so mad about Lucas being in a relationship with Y/N then?, why couldn’t he shake the feeling of his friend not being deserving of such a woman?. It was obvious she was way too good for him, she was not only one of the most gorgeous women kuku had ever met, but since the moment he first laid eyes on her, the hazel eyed woman had wooed him. She was so funny, so witty, her laughter so melodious and bright it could light up a whole room. He couldn’t keep lying, not to himself at least, he had the most raging crush on his best friend’s girlfriend.
Since the night of his coming home party, all he could think about was that beautiful woman every second he was awake and every single one of his dreams dominated by her face, the way his name sounded on her voice, the ever so slight lisp when she pronounced his whole name- which made it all that more adorable-. They may not have known eachother for that long, but sometimes it doesn’t take that much time to see the chemistry with someone, he knew it was there; and it saddened him so much to see how much she dulled herself when she was next to her boyfriend. Y/N was no doubts about it, as brilliant and talented as she was beautiful and sexy, he had confirmed that when he found her photography online. She could very well be making a living off of that, why did Lucas hide her away from the world was something he couldn’t grasp. If he were lucky enough to be her boyfriend, he’d brag about her nonstop to anyone who would listen.
~~~~~
Conversation with Y/N was so easy as well, ever since they started texting and talking on the phone every night he had confirmed, that she was just all the more interesting than he had phatomed on their first encounter. They never seemed to run out of things to talk about and when those rare moments came about, silence was so comfortable it felt as if they knew eachother since forever. They had agreed to meet at the park near his place on a Wednesday afternoon, and he felt as nervous as he did when he went on his first date, or when he had his first ever audition. He remembered Y/N had said she loved Hazelnut caramel lattes one of the times they were chatting, so he made sure to grab two coffees when he headed to their not date date. Esteban took a deep breath as he saw the blonde girl sitting crosslegged on the grass picking at it absentmindedly and walked over to her, placing the to go cup in front of her face “penny for your thoughts sugar?” the freckled man said softly sitting down across from her.
As she took the cup taking a sip and smiled like a little girl who just got the doll she’s been waiting for for so long. “Hazelnut caramel latte, you remembered?” she said almost as if she expected him not to, it was the least he could do, -did Lucas really pay that little attention to her?- he thought as he took a sip from his beverage looking at her as if he were trying to memorize every single detail on her face; some people are so lucky they don’t even realize what they have don’t they?, all he knew, was that he could look at Y/N and listen to her talk all day. There was something really special about the way her face and specially those eyes lit up whenever she talked about something she was passionate about. Every time kuku looked at Y/N; all he could think about was how her lips would taste, how soft they’d feel against his; he was sure her skin was as warm and silky as it looked, kuku wanted to trace his fingers along every single inch of her skin, feel the goosebumps underneath his fingertips as he discovered the more tender spots on it. If he were to ever be given the chance to hear his name come out of her luscious lips in a breathy moan, he was sure he would collapse on the spot, in fact it was all he had been thinking about since that night at his parents house.
When Y/N handed him her camera and instructed him to find whatever on that park that inspired him, that made him want to take a picture of, all he wanted to do was point it at her, he could take a million and one pictures of that woman and never grow tired. He decided against it though- he thought he could feel something there from her part as well, but he didn’t want to ruin it if he was wrong- instead, he looked around and found a little girl playing with a dog and aimed the lens towards them; just as he was trying to get the camera focused, he felt the younger’s light breath on the side of his neck and her scent was so intoxicatingly sweet, she smelled like orchids and jasmines, it was the best smell he had ever come across and it fitted her so well, and he could her hear talking, but kuku couldn’t really focus on one single word she was saying. Having her so close to him made his heart race and he could feel the warmth inside him grow, he needed to be this close to Y/N all the time. “And now, once you’ve found what you like, you hold yourself still, and press the button”- You, I like you Y/N so very much- he thought as he could catch her looking at him through the corner of his eyes before snapping the picture.
As kuku stepped into the elevator of his apartment building he couldn’t erase that stupid boyish smile from his lips, he was absolutely smitten, lost, taken, he was gone, there was not even a good enough reason to deny that he was falling head over heels for Y/N, and it pained him so to see a woman such as her, wilting away and dimming her light to fit next to someone like Lucas, she deserved so much better. Esteban took his phone out of his pocket at the chime of a new text coming through, a grin drew on his face as soon as he saw the contact name on the bubble and opened them.
Y/N/N 🤞:This way, you can go back to these later on, when you want to check your first work ;)
Y/N/N 🤞: I had a really good time today by the way, thank you, I really needed to get out of my place, those walls can get trapping.
Y/N had sent him the pictures they had taken that afternoon, when had she managed to take that picture of him with his sunglasses on was a mystery.
Kuku 🤭: thanks for the pictures, and I’m also glad that I could help you feel better, always happy to help a damsel in distress 🤭
Esteban mentally cursed at himself for that supid reply and kept going trough the several pictures she had sent; laughing at a couple where they just got to playing around and decided to post them to his Instagram profile “park shenanigans @Y/IG/UN”. He sighed happily and walked into his place, grabbing a quick snack before going to take a long hot shower, he just needed to get himself together, what was happening wasn’t right. Even if he could tell Lucas didn’t make Y/N happy, even if he knew she deserved better, if he knew he could treat her better, it wasn’t right to be doing what he was doing, and thinking what he was thinking about with her. He either needed to stop and get his act together, or he needed to make his intentions clear to her. After what seemed like ages, and finding himself standing under now cold water, he got out and let himself fall onto his bed staring at the ceiling.
~~~~~
A few days had gone by and Esteban hadn’t heard another word from Y/N that was weird, had something happened at the park the other day? had he done something wrong?. He looked at his phone, nothing, no new posts on Instagram nor any missed texts or calls from her, that was weird, they had gotten into the habit of talking to eachother on a daily basis. He decided to text her and make sure she was alright.
Kuku 🤭: Hey Y/N/N, hope everything’s okay, haven’t heard from you in a while and was getting worried, if you need anything, please let me know. 😚
He put his phone down again seeing no reply from her, not even a confirmation of her reading the text. Kuku decided to get ready and go over to Matias’ house, he texted him on his way over.
Kuku: Mati, I’m on my way to your place with a bottle of wine, I really hope you’re free tonight.
The younger man looked at his phone, knowing something must be going on if his friend was coming over unannounced, and asked his girlfriend Male to give them some space and time for a guys night before replying.
Mati: Well, Male just went out with friends, how bad is it? Do I need to rally the troops? cause I can always text Fran and Agus at least. Lemme know.
He didn’t even wait for the elder’s response, he sent a quick S.O.S text to the others and soon enough they were all at his place. Not long after they were all there, wine was flowing around, so were the laughs and silly jokes until Fran perked up a bit and looked at his freckled face friend “okay, what was the S.O.S text Mati sent about Kuku? spill darling.”
Esteban looked up at the blond sat across from him, and took a deep breath letting it out in a heavy sigh before downing his glass and getting a new one. “you got time?” he looked around a humorless chuckle getting past his lips as the others just looked at him; “okay, so remember the party my childhood friends threw for me a few weeks ago?” at the nod from the rest he continued “well.. there was a girl there…Y/N”.
“The one from your lovey dovey pictures on IG” Agus added on “you two dating?”
Kuku shook his head huffing “wish it was that easy bro, no, she’s dating my childhood best friend, I know she’s absolutely unhappy, I’m sure he’s a douche to her to say the least, and she’s so incredible, she’s not only gorgeous, but smart, sweet, witty, charming, talented, dude, she’s perfect, she literally is pretty much perfect, and I just can’t get her off my mind, and I wish there was something I could do to make her realize that Lucas, my friend, doesn’t deserve to be next to her and for her to finally leave him. He’s shutting her off so much, she’s wilting next to him” he rambled on for a while about the whole situation and ended up with a small shrug of his shoulders while he downed his drink again.
The boys looked at eachother. “Have you tried telling her how you feel?” Mati said as if it were the most obvious next step, and he was right, it was the obvious next step, that’s what he needed to do, and he was gonna do it, he needed to get together with Y/N again and tell her everything that had been going on in his mind.
Taglist:
@madame-fear @cyliarys-starlight @castawaycherry @luceracastro @espinasrubi @lastflowrr @koiibiito @candycanes19 @nperoconelcositoarriba @lxdyred @deepinsideyourbeing
#I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE ANGST#WILL GET BETTER I PROMISE#esteban kukuriczka fics#esteban kukuriczca fanfic#esteban kukuriczka x reader#kuku fic#angst#pining#lsdln#lsdln x reader#lsdln cast#creative heart#lucia <33#ask box open#asks open#asks welcome
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Daisy's Hangster RecList
So I've had Tumblr since 2012 and I have never, ever made a post and I haven't reblogged anything in 10 years. However, I have read a shit ton of Hangster fics in the past 6 months and actually made a point to save and rate the ones I liked, so I thought I'd finally contribute something.
Generally I like fics that are bittersweet, sexy, a little angsty, and in-character. And I usually shy away from AUs. There's a lot of pure smut in here too. If any of that is your taste too, you should have a good time.
we're fools to make war Author: whimsicule Rating: E Summary: In a Walmart at three am, between beef jerky and tortilla chips, with the lights flickering above them like it’s the fucking twilight zone, Bradley wants him more than he’s ever wanted anyone. or: it's a hundred degrees in texas. Daisy's Note: I have read a lot of Hangster fics but this one is my favorite. I love Bradley and Jake's post-mission characterizations. The sex is so hot. The OCs add to the story instead of being annoying or distracting. It's a perfect fic. One of my all time favorites of any fandom.
an afterimage of you on the back of my eyelids Author: iceboxotterpops Rating: E Summary: Rooster’s nightmares leave him deprived and seeking comfort, which he finds in the most unsuspecting place—Hangman. However, the further their Friends With Benefits situation develops, the more Rooster begins to fear his feelings for Hangman while the nightmares grow stronger and worse. Daisy's Note: Again, beautiful characterization and hot sex. I love anything where Rooster is healing. Technically not done but I think it ends in a good place.
tell the truth, I look better under you Author: lesbiseresin Rating: G Summary: Before Bradley knows it, there’s a hand landing on his shoulder and squeezing as Hangman slips past him towards the door.
“Hope you don’t snore. Otherwise I might have to shove your face into a pillow,” he tells him, completely cheerful. It makes Bradley want to reach for his collar again, face no longer numb but burning hot in a way he hopes doesn’t show through in color.
Instead, he tightens his jaw and does what he’s been doing for the past few days every time Hangman tries to push one of his buttons. He ignores him.
(alternatively: and they were bunkmates…) Daisy's Note: A very naturalistic story of these two dodos falling in love. All of lesbiseresin's stuff is top notch.
all our yesterdays Author: Notchka88 Rating: E Summary: Jake gets another chance at the mission, and then another, and another. At a certain point they stop feeling like chances and more like foregone conclusions. Daisy's Note: Superbly executed time loop fic with spot-on characterizations and their past friends-with-benefits situation as the backdrop.
Men Like Us Author: DancingDisaster Rating: M Summary: Seresin men love with reckless abandon. It’s put every man before him in the ground.
Jake refuses to be buried.
He flies like he has nothing left to lose (he doesn’t), a one man army (he is), leaving everyone else in the dust (so they don’t leave him). Admiral Kazansky claps him on the shoulder, says he expects great things from him, and Jake’s smile is feral as the rest of his flight school cohort looks on in disbelief.
Hangman, they all say, like Jake’s entire personality was a long con, and he ranks first in class.
Rooster doesn’t look at all.
(They've got history spanning the better part of a decade and they are absolutely, positively not over it.)
Daisy's Note: There's a reason this one's a classic. Couldn't put it down.
hand in unlovable hand Author: 228am Rating: E Summary: Rooster scoffs, “you’re a lot of things, Seresin, but you’re not stupid.” He crosses both arms over his chest. After a moment, he speaks again, “we’re soul—”
Jake interrupts icily, “don’t fucking say it.”
or, Jake and Bradley are soul bonded and Jake is handling it super normally.
Daisy's Note: I normally find soulmate AU's kinda hokey but I'm a SUCKER for a telepathic connection trope. Also I just went to a Mountain Goats show so I like the title.
time and time again Author: andthentheybow Rating: M Summary: Rooster wakes up on the third April 22nd in a row covered in phantom explosion burns and with the concrete knowledge that this mission is going to go terribly, horribly wrong. Daisy's Note: Another fantastic time loop fic with very clever, funny writing.
Bi_e_ual Author: tempestbreak Rating: E Summary: Teeth clenched, Rooster leans his forearm across Hangman’s chest, looming, eyes searching eyes. “What’s your game?”
If Hangman is intimidated, he gives no indication. In fact, he seems to grasp what Rooster is asking immediately; that stupid smirk curls the sides of his lips as he raises his chin in challenge. “This isn’t a game, Rooster. It’s just life.” The smirk widens. “Well, life and death.”
---
Or: Rooster is sure he’s straight. So why does Hangman always look so good
Daisy's Note: Poor Bradley is so confused. Emotionally constipated Bradley trying to sort through his feelings always gets me. Especially when contrasted with a cocky Jake.
love is a burning thing Author: Notchka88 Rating: E Summary: Bradley finds himself standing in front of Jake, much closer than just friends would. It’s not even the beer lowering his inhibitions. He often finds himself drawn in by Jake, unable to resist the pull between them. It would be terrifying except that since the mission and since they became a them, they’ve matched each other’s speed.
Jake’s eyes briefly dart to his mouth and his hand discreetly squeezes Bradley’s wrist before he turns around and saunters out of the bar.
Bradley takes a moment to admire the view and follows after him.
(Reunited after months apart, Jake and Bradley can't quite contain everything they feel for each other.)
Daisy's Note: Their writing is just. so. HOT.
hold me like a grudge Author: lesbiseresin Rating: M Summary: Whatever truce he and Hangman might’ve temporarily made on the beach still wasn’t enough for Bradley to want to hang out with the guy in his free time.
Except, here he is with the Bronco pulled into one of the spaces that line the stretch of sidewalk beside Hangman’s house. He can see Hangman’s truck sitting in the driveway and the light for the living room turned on inside.
Hangman is here, and so is Bradley. For what exactly, he isn’t sure. He knows he’s searching for something. An answer, maybe. Figuring that out would require thinking, which isn’t what this is supposed to be about, but the uncertainty must show on his face. Hangman opens the door without him even having to knock, eyebrows raised and the obvious question quick to come.
“What are you doing here, Bradshaw?”
(alternatively: in which bradley takes the phrase ‘don’t think, just do�� a little too literally)
Daisy's Note: There's not enough good bottom!Bradley (is writing it like that still something people do? Or was that just a LiveJournal thing? Do yall even know what I'm talking about?)
Holding Pattern Author: elwenyere Rating: E Summary: The thing about having a dead father everybody liked is that everybody’s got a bigger piece of him than Bradley does. Daisy's Note: All of elwenyere's stuff is just so gorgeously written. So literary.
all night, i'll riot with you Author: lesbiseresin Rating: E Summary: Bradley would really like to say that Hangman is the one who started it.
It being their return to petty squabbling, starting straight from the moment they first came face-to-face with each other for the first time in years. But to tell the truth, he’s not sure of how true that claim would be.
Punching Out Author: elwenyere Rating: M Summary: Jake’s always been sharp and soft, but not in the right configuration.
Kick the Tires and Light the Fires Author: elwenyere Rating: E Summary: Bradley comes to Jake when he wants it to hurt.
When the Time Comes Author: elwenyere Rating: T Summary: Bradley remembers it the way his fingers remember a chord: by ear, like he’s an echo of someone else’s sound.
i think you should know you're my favorite worst nightmare Author: davidbyrne Rating: E Summary: Whatever is between them is nothing tender or warm. It’s first and foremost a game, and one Jake intends on winning. Every time he looks at Bradley and feels his blood rise, Jake hates it. Just like he knows Bradley hates the way one look from Jake has him looking for the exit.
The two of them have never been able to communicate in any way that matters, but this, they’re on the same page about. The delicate game of attraction and sex. Except neither of them plays it like it’s delicate. They play at it like it’s war.
Bradley’s been on the offensive all night. It’s time for Jake to take back some control.
Daisy's Note: Five alarm fire hot. And despite the description, a little sweet with the spice. : )
A Good Distraction Author: Emilyandthecat Rating: E Summary: Javy is on a mission and Jake’s anxiety gets away from him post-mission. Daisy's Note: I'm fucking obsessed with this and I read it all the time even though the circumstances are kind of silly--Bradley puts his fingers in Jake's mouth and it makes his anxiety go away.
virgin beefcake bradley gets fingered by confident hunk Author: elizabethgee Rating: E Summary: Bradley has never been with a man. Jake has. Bradley gets much more than he bargained for (but he's not complaining). Daisy's Note: I'm obsessed with this one too. The ripped-from-a-porno title is just the cherry on top. Again, bottom Bradley is important.
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So I am going to try to parce through my Our Flag Means Death Season 2 premier.
Episode 1: Impossible Birds
The dream sequence is amazing. I love that his subconscious will not let him get off light. Izzy saying "I didn't make you leave him" like the most spurned lover. Aaaah. Ed never actually saying they are OK.
So much in this episode. So many moving parts. I like Stede’s working but I am surprised he still appears to be the defacto leader despite Olu being named captain.
Olu and Zheng Yi Sao: I want to like them. I really do but they don't have time to flush out this little flirtation. I think they should pick Olu and Zheng or Jim and Archie to focus on. They have such little air time to have them catch up to the last seasons canon couple chemistry/back stories. I also hope that her motivation saving the crew was more than her crush on Olu. She is such a power house it feel incongruous that she would be so easily swept up with no build up to their thing. I like Auntie though.
Jim is so good this season. They were the least likely too, but they actually bought into what the Revenge did. They care for their crew mates, even Izzy. The little wooden boy voice for Fang! Their fighting, the new look! The only thing I am still not sure of is Archie. So far I haven't gotten much from her personality other than she likes Jim.
Frenchie is amazing. Funny, and yet he has these moments where the cracks bleed through. Especially after he is made first mate. So good.
Fang is breaking my flicking heart. He has been with Ed even longer than Izzy.
The Kraken. When I first saw the spoilers especially Izzy scene that was sent out I was worried they would not be able to balance how bad he was with his emotional core, but boy was I wrong. Taika Waititi paints this hopeless sorrow that you can feel. He is so funny when it's called for but he is truly beautiful just him, the camera, and his expressions.
ED AND IZZY. WHAT! YOU HAVE LOVE FOR HIM! WHAT! In my wildest dreams I never thought they would go in so hard with these two so fast. I remember reading angsty fic about their dynamic and thinking " they would never make it this dark." Actually the " take off your boot" scene is so traumatic/sad/slight sexy 🫠 😳 😔 . I am screaming. I knew Con and Taika had chemistry but they are so good together, their scenes are electric.
Stede Bonnet you beautiful bastard. I love that everyone keeps thinking he is stalling for fear of being killed but the truth is he doesn't want his hope for reconciliation dashed. What everyone warning him away doesn't understand is that he is a man who is experiencing breath-stealing, soul binding love for the first time in middle age. His devotion to Ed is unmarred by what he has done.
Spanish Jackie as always is amazing. Her use of "husband" is similar to Nandor (WWDITS). Her getting Swede is great too. I love Leslie Jones. Only issue is because the episode is so full you could almost take the Olu and Zheng storyline and put that over the Jackie bits or vis versa.
Prince Ricky...I am not convinced. So far he just seems like he has all of Stede worst traits. If he is going to be the big bad this season it's going to have to be some big twist.
Overall I loved the episode. I am so looking forward to more time with my pirates and I NEED more Izzy.
#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd#ofmd s2#our flag means death season 2 spoilers#izzy our flag means death#our flag means death s2#edward teach ofmd#ed teach x stede bonnet#ofmd stede bonnet
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So in light of recent news, I hear we're re-sharing old OFMD Fanworks?
Canon-adjacent/Nebulous well-adjusted future
I hope that someone gets my... - After twenty years together, Ed is still finding Stede's messages in bottles.
Steve Bunnet - a petting zoo caper
A Vicious Cycle - playing with each other's hair
Put him on his knees, give him some' to believe in - sexy pillow talk
Codependent Co-captains - mild hurt/comfort
I'm a boss bitch but tonight we do it your way - First time Bottom!Ed
Just Resting My Eyes - Ed falls asleep in an awkward spot
I'm not wanting anything (but your loving, your body, and a little bit of your brain) - Fluffy picnic
What Ails You - edging, Top!Stede
"The Little Mermaid" - story time and queer allegories
World Enough and Time - Five times Stede and Edward try to have sex and are comically interrupted, and the one time they successfully bone
Canon AUs
Bell the Cat - the (curesed) cat bell turns the wearer into a sex kitten
Whale of a Tale - Stede turns into a merman and saves Ed from the storm
Fly By Night - Stede and Ed hook up with Mary and Doug, written with @lizzy-leo
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero - Stede sets out to homewreck Ed/Izzy...on purpose
And at last I see the light - Rapunzel fairy tale
Welcome to My Nightmare (I think you're gonna like it) - vampire!Stede, werewolf!Blackbeard
Wherever I go I'll be looking for you - WWDITS Vianton fusion
But on That Road I Took a Fall - Daemon!AU
Start Where You Are (and Change the Ending) - Amnesia fic!
Reunion Fics (written pre-actual reunion)
Warmth - hurt/comfort tag to 2x3
Everything About You - reunion inspired by the beach fight shots in the trailer
Sinking in your Eyes, Chasing Golden Nights - reunion and happily ever after written pre-S2 with @lizzy-leo
Waiting to Drown - angsty reunion on that beach from the promos
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now - time loop reunion
Ask for forgiveness, never permission - angsty reunion and getting back together, written with @a-singer-of-songs
Tell me all your thoughts on God / Cause I'm on my way to see her - Fluffy taking things slow, written with @a-singer-of-songs
Hell of a Night - An actual Kraken shows up
So Why the Hell is There a Light that's Keeping Us Forever - angsty H/C reunion
How the Mighty Fall (They Fall in Love) - Edward goes back for Stede instead of waiting for him on the dock
I haven't shared most of these to tumblr at all so thanks in advance for the reblog!
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20 questions for fic writers
tagged by @hilarychuff thank you! <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
11! For now:)
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
75,643
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Just Stranger Things for now! I would love to branch out but the hyperfocus does what it wants and I am just along for the ride!
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
I'm Stupid (Do Me) Steddie/M/Getting together/first time (first one I wrote of them!)
All you have is your fire (and the place you need to reach) Hellcheerington/E/Sex Pollen
Five times Steve Walked in on Eddie and Chrissy (And one time they walked in on him) Hellcheer + Hellcheerington Pre-slash/M/Accidental Voyeurism
5 times Steve absolutely didn't have a bisexual meltdown (and one time he did) Hellcheer + Hellcheerington/M/Getting together
Some lonely night we can get together (and I'm gonna tie your wrists with leather) E/Hellcheerington/ final part of my Vampire Eddie and Chrissy series!
(I need to start doing shorter titles :') )
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! Almost always, though it might take me a while! I always appreciate them all <3
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Ok so honestly? I don't do angst much haha, and literally never sad endings. Its all gonna be tied up with a neat little happy bow from me, baby! I think I left chapter 3 of Bardic Inspiration in a pretty sad state - does that count?
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Orgasms cout, right? ;D Right now what comes to mind though is the only fix-it fic I've really written - (I only need) the working of my hands Where I give Hellcheer the happy, sexy ending they deserve (but make it Sapphic with a side of coming back wrong)
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not yet! Fingers crossed it remains that way! I usually try and stay miles away from any fandom drama tbh
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I am determined to! Like sure I would call some of what I've already written smut but I feel like I'm not quite fully there yet. I haven't fully realised the lengths of perversion/intimacy hyperfixation that sits in my mind! Its an ongoing process hehe
Regarding what flavour of smut I write, its always queer, soft, and a little gothic in the undertones... Would love to do some more genderqueer stuff in the future as well
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Not yet! I'm not against them, and I loove a good AU, but nothing has stuck so far. Maybe one day I'll write that Stranger Things Persona 4 AU. (look it would work so well!! Eddie as Kanji makes me feral ngl)
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but I love that that is a thing people do <3
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No but that would be super fun! I tried RP once couldn't get into it:( Sharing ideas and bouncing plot points is always fun though:)
14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Thats too hard! I'm just gonna do a current top 5 lol 1. Steddie 2. Hellcheerington 3. Hellcheer 4. Lan Zhan/Wei Ying (Untamed) 5. Kanji/Naoto(P4)
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have 2 unpublished, lengthy chapters of a Steddie pirate AU that I love but I really don't know how to keep going with :(
16. What are your writing strengths?
I'm pretty proud of how I set the mood of a scene - the colours, the light, the sounds... just hinting at a feeling without describing the feeling itself.
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I can like, either do super dialogue heavy bits, or really descriptive bits, and its so hard to marry the two together!! ahh!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Look english is hard enough lol
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Harry potter haha, wrote some truly terrible angsty self-insert when i was 14 (luckily that is gone forever!!)
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Honestly, I really love When I am done, its such a snap-shot kind of fic, and its got such a mood that I love. Keeping a one-shot simple and to the point is really difficult, and I think this one is my best attempt at it.
Thanks for tagging me as always, Hil! I'm tagging whoever reads this hehe - if you made it this far you should totally do it too (these are fun!)
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Let's have fun with feelings!
Originally I was going to submit this for the 12 days of Casca event, but it just didn't seem to fit most of the prompts, and its really angsty, so eh 🤷
EDIT: it's been updated with what will probably be the final version of this scene, and the official title of the fic. I finally had enough chapters compiled to come up with a fitting title. :) I've also trimmed it down via line break so it's not wall-o-text on my poor followers feed. It's a few character-thought paragraphs longer though I must say.
Anyway, have a scene/chapter from the WIP I keep changing the name of - now officially called Never Sleep Alone. I've tossed around with a title for this for a while but that one's sticking for now. Sums up the theme pretty well. :p
Slightly NSFW; nothing too overtly sexy but there's a hurt/comfort-sex vibe and implications thereof.
Pairing: Griffith x Casca - Almost. :) Underpinnings of Griffith x Guts. Griffith is Confused with a capital C.
Context: this is a Griffith-stops-Guts-from-leaving fic, and this scene happens when Casca seeks Griffith out after events on the hill, before he can get into trouble with Charlotte...or anyone else, in theory. Buuuuut.....well. That's not quite how Griffith works, unfortunately.
NOTE: Braies are the medieval equivalent of underwear.
Enjoy!
Casca knew where he was headed; she didnt have to think as her feet studiously brought her before the Noble-quarters Griffith was staying in whilst in Wyndam on behalf of the king while his own manor received it's reconstruction. It was in a high-brow neighborhood of course, a light reddish tint to the White wash on Griffith's dwelling making it distinct from the other town-homes on either side of it.
Casca moved without much thought or consideration as she went through the motions of inviting herself inside. It had been a long, confusing, emotional evening, and if she was this strung out, she knew Griffith was at least twice as bad.
The housekeep were polite and understanding, though they seemed at once quite unsettled, though she could only guess at why. One of them, a swarthy, sun kissed old woman, did remark briefly that they had heard him "moving things about" upstairs, and that when he had let himself in earlier, he seemed very pensive and hadn't said a word to anyone. Casca wasn't sure she knew what they meant by "moving things around", but she wasn't sure of a lot of things right now, except that Griffith, despite successfully disarming Guts - and nearly taking his leg in the process - had to be hurting right now. In fact, she quite confidently knew he was struggling right now. How he was dealing with it, like so many things tonight, she was not sure of; but she recognised when her instincts were trying to tell her something, and right now they were telling her to go to him, before he did something he would regret.
If there was one thing she knew about Griffith better than anyone, it was his tendency to act out or become some flavor of weird and reclusive when he felt down. Often that manifested as shutting himself in his tent for two days, barely eating a thing; sometimes it meant he would take a long walk by himself or ride away to some unknown place for a few hours. Other times she would come upon him dressed down to his braies, shivering himself into sensibility by letting the cold numb him. She tried not to disturb him too much when he was like this, unless she thought he was hurting himself too badly; and she would have let him alone tonight. But she had a feeling, deep in her gut, that he would end up doing exactly that if she didn't keep an eye on him.
"Griffith?" She called, rapping her knuckles on his bedroom door. "It's Casca. I just...wanted to see how you're doing. Make sure you're okay." She struggled with the words in her mouth as though they were chewed fat, sticky and awkward. A few moments passed, and in the time there was not a sound to be heard from the other side of the door. She went to tap the wood again with the back of her hand, but stopped when he finally responded.
"Come here." He called back quietly, his voice surprisingly even, though he sounded a little raspy. Casca paused, her intuition finding some issue with the invitation. It wasn't the stunning formality she was used to, and though that made her happy on some level, that he would drop the ruse to invite her in, it also heightened her concern. She shook the nerves away and opened the door - to find a sight she'd of better assumed to be the work of a determined house theif than the man before her.
Papers were strewn about everywhere, his desk where they had presumably been settled was wildly ajar, it's fresh-scuffed surface betraying the violence with which it was put into that position, with drawers shuddered open and edges chipped and notched. A simple, long dagger stood glinting from its splintered top, and suddenly the notches and scratches in its leading edge made a cold kind of sense. Even the curtain on his bed was ripped from its stays and had clearly been mutilated by the very same blade. 'Moving things about indeed' she surmised - but the idea was far from amusing. Instead a heavy dread settled into her gut like a stone, recognizing the handiwork of rage and pain that she would have never presumed her commander capable in this disaster of a room; she hated herself for it, but she'd of been lying if she said it didn't intimidate her, on a subconscious level. She'd never seen Griffith lose his temper, not ever, so seeing such a wanton display - accentuated by the dagger, plunged so deep into the wood he'd of had to throw his whole weight atop it - definitely scared her.
"Don't." Griffith broke the stiff, heavy silence with a small plea. "Don't be frightened of me." He looked up at her from where he stood, braced against the window ledge with his hands, his body awkwardly slumpy and clearly tired - it wasn't until then that Casca noticed that, in spite of how level he sounded, he was just as much of a wreck as the room. Young bruises and a few scrapes of blood coloured his knuckles, vivid against his milky skin. He had on his neck the faintest flush of pink and a thin veneer of sweat, and his breathing was more ragged than it sounded. But it was his eyes that truly gave him away - fading signs of bloodshot eyes and a wavering, barely-focused view told her stories of tears that had since dried and retreated from view.
And she understood, in that moment, how deeply she had underestimated his attachment - and maybe affection - to Guts.
Her thoughts were swirling. 'I knew something happened between them. Guts was so determined - and, like it or not, he was always going to win that fight. He was always going to win - you don't have the strength to best him anymore, and you both knew that; hell, if I knew that, then so did you, right? But he didn't win - why? Was it the look in your eyes when he was making the final blow? Did you show him the depth of your feelings? On accident? On purpose? Why?' Casca didn't know. But she understood - and that is what he needed right now.
Someone to understand. Someone who wouldn't judge him for the sin of being in love with the wrong person. Someone who could embrace him in spite of it. Just like before, just like that time in the river after...that, had happened.
Or, at least that's what she thought he needed.
Casca didn't have time to offer words or gesture. "Oof! What? - " she was caught off guard when Griffith suddenly threw himself at her, gathering her tightly in his arms - so tight she could barely breathe. Initially she was frightened - but his embrace was too gentle to hurt her, however hard he was squeezing, and he wasn't making any moves to lay her open or some such.
On one hand, she was pleasantly surprised; but her gut, which had been very talkative this evening, told her something was very wrong here. Griffith never initiated things like this, not with her - not with anyone that she knew of, not even Guts. A slow, semi-painful squeeze forced the air from her lungs completely and distracted her from her thoughts for a moment; but it was over as quick as it started, and he let go of her just enough to lean back and look at her face, searching for something Casca didn't know how to identify. He was always so clandestine. Not for the first time, she wondered how much of that was innate and how much he did it on purpose.
"Please," Griffith pleaded, a vague, distant, and if Casca were guessing right, jaded look in his pale eyes. "Don't be frightened of me. I am far more dangerous to myself right now than you." Casca's heart dropped at the confession, still too breathless to form a response, or even think of one. Her breath then stopped completely, heart flying unceremoniously into her throat, when Griffith's hand trailed feather-light upon her cheek, his eyes taking a darker, more subdued hue. His long, pale lashes glinted in the lamp light, and Casca felt her whole upper body flush with what was no doubt a ruddy blush.
"I want you." He breathed, bringing their faces so close she could have counted the lashes on his half-closed eyes. His hand then rested, open palmed but still so light, so gentle, upon her warming cheek. "I want you to be brave, Casca. Can you do that?" He whispered, leaning toward her other ear. She felt their cheeks brush just barely and couldn't resist a gasp as her lungs gave out from their neglect. "Can you be brave for me?" His voice held an undeniably seductive lilt this time, and Casca abruptly realised the darkish look she hadn't then recognised to be one she'd seen easily a thousand times - just not on his face. Never on his face.
"I don't...understand?" She defended weakly, her breath suddenly returning to her in heavy gasps, pulling away from him on reflex. But his arms held her fast in place, and at once pulled her closer; he then buried his face in her shoulder and neck, breathing deeply. Casca was horribly confused, and habitually a little bit scared, but her reflex to push him away left when she felt him tremble. It was slight, and if she hadn't of been looking for something like that to offer explanation to the situation, she'd of probably missed it. But it was there, a tiny, barely perceptible shaking in his shoulders that shuddered through him to his nose and jaw where he pressed them to her skin.
She didn't fight him when they started moving, a cautious curiosity feeding strange ideas in her mind as he led her to the exposed edge of his bed. When the corner pressed into the back of her thigh, suddenly she felt sparks. Was this happening? She seen him draw back and pause for a moment, before bringing up his hand to guide her face to his, silently asking permission, she presumed. She did not deny him, and met his soft, warm and surprisingly dry mouth with a mixture of elatement and apprehension.
She knew then that he didn't mean her harm, and once that was established, it was like nothing else mattered. Her mind went peacefully blank, offering him whatever it was he was asking from her - she would be his anything if it meant he went back to normal. If it meant she could be helpful. If it made her more than a sticky thorn in his side. She knew - she could sense his annoyance with her at times, could sense the shift in his disposition when he was trying to shield his emotions from her. But this... this was new. This was different. This was Griffith, in his purest, rawest form. And she wasn't going to give him any reason why he shouldn't show her more of this side of him, a side he so desperately needed to share with somebody.
Or, that was the plan, anyway.
He reached down to twine his hands with hers, kissing her neck gently, cautiously. She had no idea where this was meant to be going, but she did not resist. It wasn't worth it to resist - though if it was fear forcing that feeling upon her, it didnt make itself known. She was both calm and restless. She was elated, but also felt defeated, somehow. Like he had just won a fight she had not realised they were having.
The speed at which the kiss escalated surprised but did not disappoint her - she had always wondered why it was men blathered on about the 'taste' of a person, but she kinda understood it now; as did she understand why the previously gross notion of having someone else's tongue in her mouth was such a celebrated win among the rookies. He seemed to have a degree of skill in this endeavor, winding and twining his tongue in hers, though she dare not think how he may have acquired such experience. Their soft tongues tasted and tested each other curiously, and Casca wondered for a moment if all men tasted like this or if it was unique to him. She'd of liked to prefer the latter.
Upon meeting, Casca suddenly felt his possible intention pressing into the hollow of her hip, and a flutter of anxiety struck her like a dull sword in the chest - but it was very swiftly overwhelmed by the excitement growing from below, which roared from a dull possibility into a very different sense of reality, of proximity, as her body seemed to instinctively know what that was and what she wanted it to do to her.
She did not get much longer to ponder though before a much firmer hand than had previously touched her found the crook of her thigh below her butt, and lifted her the short distance onto the bed. It was a jarring experience, enough to break their kiss momentarily, and in nearly the same motion, he gently leaned onto her, using the hand that had been cradling her face and neck to push her back by the waist until she lied down. Before she could mutter an utterance, their lips - and tongues - resumed their business as if there had been no interruption. His hands, freed of the need to prevent her escaping, apparently, now wandered to all but her most sensitive places, tracing gentle, sensual shapes up her sides, tracing dashed lines up and down her outer thigh. It was exhilarating.
He then quite abruptly used both hands on her buttox to move her upward, higher on the bed - bringing his own hips along with, and meeting her own with a small sigh that escaped somehow between them.
She could not resist a soft moan when he moved from her lips finally to her neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the corner of her jaw as he simultaneously held her arms down gently beside her head, pulling back so he could push his sex into hers, pressing just until the pressure seemed it might tear through their clothes. She reacted with a tremble, sliding her legs up his flanks before entwining them around him, pulling him closer, tighter, asking for something she had, to his knowledge, never known.
He stopped, then. Froze, to be more precise - a stiff statue of his formerly passionate self. Casca looked up at him, bitterly confused, but became concerned instead when she seen the ghost of pain on his face. It wasn't physical pain, though - no, he was still pressing into her, still stiff as wood - no, this was another pain entirely, and Casca honestly understood none of it.
"You don't want this." He said morosely, with a bizzare form of authority. He turned his face away from her then, trying to hide his expression, which nonetheless betrayed the key to this sudden interruption - shame. "You don't want me to treat you like this." He half-whipsered, jaw going tight and arms stiffened from restraint.
Casca was a little dazed. "Wh- yes, I do. I would have stopped you otherwise."
"No, you wouldn't, and we both know it." He said starkly. Those words struck something in her then, sending her heart racing with - what was that? Fear? No. Panic? Why? Because she was losing her chance? Because he was now backing away from her, moving across the room with hanging head to sit as unceremoniously as she'd ever seen him sit onto the chair beside his desk? Because he was rejecting her, again? Because she wasn't good enough, again? Why then? Why offer her a taste if he was just going to rip it away like that? For what? His pride?
"Griffith, I -"
Casca desperately wanted to cry, to scream, to be angry and hurt - and she was. But the words Griffith next spoke offered respite, first in the form of feeling doubly offended, making her anger overshadow her pain for a moment: "You don't want me to treat you like a whore." He said firmly, folding in on himself.
... and then in the form of feeling a wave of regret pass over her for it, for he uttered softly, a moment later, "...I would know."
His bruised and bloody knuckles tightened around his shirt on his upper arms, a familiar coping behavior that Casca immediately recognised - and understood precisely what he meant. And it shattered any resolve she might've had to be angry at him for rejecting her.
"You should go." He interrupted. It was not phrased as a suggestion. "I...need to be alone, for a while."
Casca felt lost. One minute, they were breaths away from taking their clothes off, then she wanted to throttle him, and now he wanted her to leave?
And yet she couldn't argue with his logic, as per usual. After all, what would they have been? A single night tryst made in the throes of a passion that wasn't made for her? A union made from the desperate trappings of greif and longing? For another man, no less. She was hurt - oh, was she hurting. But she couldn't find the will to argue. He was right - maybe it was better this way. He was always right.
But she had never before wanted so, so desperately for him to be wrong.
"Thank you, Casca." Griffith said suddenly. "For checking in on me. Believe it or not, I needed that. All of that." Casca fought off a wince. He gave her a small and tired but surprisingly genuine smile, though his usually clandestine eyes now poorly hid a vicious bitterness that Casca knew was not directed at herself - he would have hid it from her otherwise, or at least tried harder. He was funny like that. In spite of everything, his smile was like a soothing balm upon her temperament, and she managed to collect herself even for just a moment. "If you...need, anything else," she fought the tremble in her voice with all her might, forcing it into her shaking hands instead. "You know where to find me." Casca didn't have the strength to look at him when she said that, turning on her heel and walking out the door without a second glance. And yet, she could almost sense the frown behind her. Almost.
She only made it a few steps before her delicate resolve came undone in rivulets, deep breaths trying to disguise sobs as she prepared to go down the stairs. But the wave of emotions would not be held back this time, and so she resolved to escape as quickly as possible, before she was noticed.
Unbeknownst to her, a young and now very confused housemaiden watched her descend.
Feel free to ask questions or comment with suggestions if you have them. I won't be able to put this whole fic up on Ao3 for a minute yet since all the scenes are out of order still, with bridges yet unwritten, so here's a taste for you. :)
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oh my goddd your writing is so good!!! it’s seriously So Good!! i’ve been binge reading the pact over the past few days and finally caught up and WOW have you got me hooked now. i’m obsessed with the style you have and the way you switch povs and do time-hops here and there, always keeping the next chapter a surprise and never knowing what to expect next. this is one of the most interesting fics i’ve ever read, you got the mike / max dynamic nailed down to a T. i’m serious when i say this fic singlehandedly made me love madwheeler as a ship and dynamic. it’s just too good. i’ve never seen anyone Get Them the way you do. the way you write them both and the way you write the conflicting feelings and experiences they have is so good. it’s so captivating and alluring. seriously one of the best i’ve ever read, this is definitely going to be one that sticks out in my mind. :) can’t wait for the next chapter!! i might binge read your other stuff in the meantime. you’re super talented. <3
Woah!! Thank you so, so much anon! I was not expecting this in my inbox and you put a huge smile on my face this morning! First of all, I am SO HAPPY that you are enjoying The Pact!! I don't even remember really what the hell spurred me into writing this originally, but the idea essentially came from me wondering what it might look like if Max and Mike ended up stuck together in a situation where they HAD to get to know each other, and it sort of evolved from there. It truly makes me feel so proud that you think I GET THEM. I find both of those characters highly relatable and exploring them both as bisexual seemed like an interesting thing to take on.
The story and characters have taken me on a bit of a twist and turn as well. What started out as wanting to explore their friendship went to some unexpected places (as you have read 🙃). And so if I am the person responsible for shipping them, then I take full responsibility because I TOO have come to love them like that too. They're now my second favorite ship besides byler in the Stranger Things fandom. It's just so fun, and they both have a lot going on, and their characters have a lot of symmetry, but also almost like a ying and yang thing and that's always fun to explore in writing.
Anyway, thank you so much for sending me a little love! I really appreciate it and I am just so glad there's some folks out there that have been enjoying reading "The Pact" as much as I have been writing it. I wasn't expecting much engagement when I first put it out cause of the pairings and plot, so the fact that the response has been so good and positive has been such a blast and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Anyway! If you're looking for something else to read in the meantime (I hope the have Camping Trip Part II up in the next few days) I just finished Touch Me Like You Know Me. I think that is one I am most proud of personally. It's an estranged 30s byler reconnection fic. It's short and sweet. Another finished shorter one is When We Wake Up. That's just a romantic and a little sexy sharing one bed trope in the dead of summer type vibes.
And as always I'd recommend A Certain Slant of Light. It's unfinished, but it's my baby so I always tell people about it lol... It's a Will has powers angsty canon byler journey. 😊 <333
#anon asks#madwheeler#the pact#thank you lovely anon for the love!!#i truly appreciate it#writing things#byler#elumax#byler fanfic recs
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