#i wanted them to fade gradually but by the time you saw the last one it was almost not there | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

whatifyoulivelikethat · 11 months ago

Text

peppermint gum, m | jjk | savor...

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

It’s impossible to fall in love when you’re already in love. And Jeon Jungkook was in love. Helplessly. But what could he do? Time passed. The world became tasteless to his eyes. All he could do was hold onto the crisp and intense color of those memories, remember her words, and wonder where she was now. Savor, and burst forth.

this is part i | click here for part ii | total wc: 25.6k

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; this story contains parental child abuse - child neglect and abandonment; sloooow burn; mild alcohol consumption; hardcore pining JK; angst and fluff and feels; (in part ii) smut (fem reader, slight D/s dynamic, so much kissing, hair pulling, scratching / marking. grinding, choking, m-receiving oral, finger sucking, fingering, nipple play, m-masturbation, thigh riding, edging, penetrative sex, doggy, multiple orgasms); shifts back and forth between Jungkook’s POV and your POV; from lovers-to-strangers-to-lovers again :)

non-idol!AU; pining!Jungkook x noona!reader — ft JK's helpful? friends Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin; reader's close friend and talented guitarist, Kang Hyungu (ONEWE's Kanghyun if you want to see his appearance, hehe, same personality); JK has all his piercings and has hair (lol) had to be broken up into two parts bc it is 25k words, rip

“Aren’t you afraid that I’ll forget you?”

Those last words rang in his head, accompanied by her smile.

“Your mind might forget me, but the body always remembers.”

He wanted her to be wrong. But, of course, she wasn’t. Life wasn’t so kind. Life wasn’t so kind to give him a dramatic ending. Rather, it was a calm one of slow decay where he gradually learned to not miss her anymore. No ill feelings. Just helplessness. He had wanted her to be his morning, his afternoon, his night. She didn’t. He had been younger then. He had thought he could change what was already written.

She had done the right thing, actually.

Years past. The memories became a blur with everything else. Everyone else – between nights and bodies and the feeling of not quite right. Searching but not knowing what he was looking for so he cut them off just as he had been cut off. It hurt, of course, but not as much as it would have if he had let it drag on. Maybe that was what he had learned from that time.

He forgot to miss her.

But he still thought of her and wondered where she was now.

Tattoos, piercings, and countless hours at the gym later. Running. Life an endless loop despite the differences. Nowadays, he was making an effort to hang out with his friends more, not just for birthdays or online games, but socializing at in-person events that he still wasn’t very good at. Becoming older meant drifting apart since they didn’t have those common places to mingle in anymore, so it was important to put in the effort. If he wanted to improve in talking to people more casually, well, he should at least put himself in those opportunities, right?

Right.

Running.

Always running.

Sometimes, when he was in the dark surrounded by people and with just the right amount of alcohol in his system, he missed her terribly, but he couldn’t remember what standing next to her was even like.

Other times, he completely forgot she used to like this type of tea or that kind of snack. These details faded into the background, only to return to him in disorienting dreams and half-realities.

And most of the time, he forgot.

In between hands and lips and legs, he felt the rush. The exhilaration. Lust. He could make magic in the bedroom. Wasn’t that what it was all about? Wasn’t it all about the chase between two? Wasn’t love about strangers becoming forever-afters? Wasn’t it? He didn’t know anything about that when he was younger. Right. How could that be love?

Maybe.

Maybe he just forgot.

The spark always died so fast. It must have been not quite right.

She must have forgotten him too, by now.

When Jeon Jungkook saw her again, he hadn’t expected it at all.

It was at a nightclub concert. Loud and obnoxious and full of infectious energy. A friend of his was a singer of the band that was going onstage next. Currently, there was alternative rock band vibing with the crowd, singing songs that no one knew but spoke to feelings everyone understood. Breakup lyrics to sweetheart melodies. He was enjoying himself, but not paying much attention. In a split second, he had whipped his head around because one of his friends was playfully flicking the back of his hair, being an idiot, and then he saw her at the edge of the stage. Right there. He almost didn’t think it was her at first, but his eyes recognized that face right away, even amidst the chocolate smokey eye and cherry lip stain. He almost looked away, not wanting to stare at a now-stranger, but his body froze when she smiled, remembering the way his heart fluttered when those past-lover-now-stranger’s eyes sparkled with mischief when she smiled.

That couldn’t have been love, right?

He couldn’t remember.

Was she more beautiful than before or had helplessness desaturated his memory?

She was cheerfully speaking to someone. A young man who had cerulean hair. His undercut was dyed a gradient purple. Taller than her, with broad shoulders. Black t-shirt and tight jeans showing off a built body. He lingered near her the same way a cat stayed by its owner. She shook her head at him and said something. The man chuckled despite a demeanor full of nervousness. She handed him his purple electric guitar and pushed him, motioning him to interact with the band standing offstage. Oh, that was right. His singer friend had mentioned that their actual guitarist was out taking care of his grandmother. They had to call someone to fill in on short notice.

It was clear, by the instrument, that this was the fill in.

The young man trotted over to the band and introduced himself. He was meant with open arms and gracious bows that left him flustered and shaking his head.

Jeon Jungkook looked away, not wanting her to see him.

Would she know it was him?

He glanced at her again during the break for the band change. She was standing at the side, not too close to the wall but not too far. Could be noticed right away, because she was not drinking and because she was alone. Simply standing there. Almost regal even in a tight white crop top and hip-hugging black trousers. The thick black strap of her sling bag had a large plush keychain dangling by her waist. A tuxedo cat with a tangerine on its head. She didn’t seem bothered to be alone with no one to speak to. She also held onto a big, thick, black leather jacket. Folded and tucked in her arms. Could be hers.

Could also not be.

She was smiling in the direction of the substitute guitarist. Jungkook caught a shared gaze between them. She gave the man a thumbs up. He returned the smile, albeit awkwardly. A wordless exchange. Two people who knew each other very well. The lights dimmed. An announcement was made and cheers erupted around him.

But Jungkook was in the dark, surrounded by people, with not enough alcohol in his system to place the emotion he was feeling right now.

He looked to the stage as the spotlights returned to the stage, lighting up the band and his friend, but his mind held onto the image he had just now seen. Something about her makeup, with the striking eyeliner and black-cherry tinted lips. His own lips tingled, remembering the taste of a kiss from years ago.

A bright and refreshing flavor, so strong that it had seemed to last for hours after.

He was not self-centered or bitter enough to call her an ex-girlfriend. It had been a crisp and intense connection but, in retrospect, the time had been short. Fast and in a rush. The kind of love that made his skin prickle and his heart race. There had been no way to know how long it would last. There had been no comparison to realize that that love could be as fleeting as it was powerful.

A peppermint gum love.

Ah, what was he going on like this for? Maybe she didn’t want to be bothered. Maybe she wouldn’t want to see a ghost of her past. Maybe she didn’t even remember him. Jungkook knew he looked very different now. Back then, he had been a lot more worried about being presentable to everyone. Now, he was old enough to know he couldn’t and didn’t have to please everyone. He could wear loose clothes even if he worked out to look toned the way he wanted. He could get those lip piercings even if people told him eight ear piercings was already too many and adding two more on the right side of his lower lip was overdoing it. He could get a sleeve of colorfully dark tattoos and maybe consider getting more if he really wanted, even if some people found it tacky or not to their taste.

Well.

As long as he had the money for it, anyway.

He tried to discern how she was looking at the young man playing guitar, but Jungkook couldn’t figure out if it was the same expression that she had given him all those years before. He couldn’t remember.

His mind couldn’t remember.

But.

There was an interlude mid-act. He had made up his mind. He excused himself from his friends, mumbling the excuse of the bathroom. It was nerve-wracking to cut himself away from that safety. He didn’t have to do this. There was no ill feeling.

Just helplessness.

He moved through the crowd, winding between the people. Right there. There was so much noise. Conversations. Laughter. Drunken bickering. But all he could hear was silence. Bodies pushed up against him, bumping into him by accident, mumbling out apologies. But all he could feel was the suggestion of a touch, the faded peppermint gum love, grasping for a memory that he couldn’t seem to recall.

His finger tapped her shoulder.

He just wanted to know something.

“Do you still feel the same as you did back then?”

After the hey, how have you been, after the look of recognition and half-amused smile and the flutter of his heart, after the small talk of where are you now, he asked her the question. Those things were only the precursor. The filler and fluff. The pretense to the question that had been on his mind for a long, long time now.

“About what?” she asked, tilting her head curiously.

“I don’t know if you remember…” He didn’t either, actually. Remember her original words. “But you said that you didn’t think you could ever understand love. You said something like that to me a long time ago and I wonder… I wonder if that feeling has changed.”

He knew it was a strange question and yet.

He just…

Needed to know.

The shadows in her eyes became darker, impenetrable. “Sounds like something I’ve said. But, are you asking me because you think that feeling should have changed?”

He shook his head quickly. “No.” Looked at her head-on, unsure if this bravery was from alcohol or the question itself that had been lingering in his mind for so long. “I remembered what you said after all this time because…”

Hot and heavy, but ultimately forgettable nights.

Cold and bright.

Unable to last and, yet, lasted.

“Because I think now I am beginning to understand what you meant.”

There was a lot of noise around them, but he barely noticed. There was so much light, so many people around them, but this moment was a spotlight between him and the past cold brightness. The shadows in her eyes softened, no longer bristling thorns, fading into a dark forest of overlapping leaves. He couldn’t know, but he felt those eyes were different now. Darker. More decisive. And yet, in some ways she hadn’t changed at all. One of the things that he had always liked about her back then was that she always answered him seriously and wisely even if the question seemed out of the blue.

They always had an inexplicable closeness, even as strangers.

She was even more beautiful and more attractive than he remembered though.

“I lied,” she admitted with a half-smile. Was that a sparkle of mischief in her irises or was he seeing things? “I remember what I said to you. It had upset you a lot, I remember, when I said I didn’t understand love. You cried. It must have hurt you, but I couldn’t understand why back then. Back then, I said I didn’t understand love because I both didn’t want to learn and couldn’t feel it. Only the latter is true now. Or, rather, I don’t think I feel the same things that other people feel when they are with the people they love. But why do you say you’re beginning to understand that I meant?”

His body remembered the feeling of her hand on his shoulder. Now, their relations weren’t close enough for her to touch him. He didn’t remember crying but he wasn’t surprised to be told that he did. When he was younger, he had been a bit of a crybaby. Just because he didn’t recall didn’t mean it didn’t happen.

But.

His heart could still feel that deep scratch of those familiar words, even now.

“When I met you back then… I thought I knew everything about love. Love was for good people. I wanted to be a good person so I could be loved. All I had to do was become the person that people wanted to love. But then I realized I wasn’t doing the things I wanted to do, only what was expected of me. Then you told me you didn’t understand love and I, someone who wanted to be loved by you, realized I had nothing to fall back on because I was only made of others’ expectations and ideals.”

He shook his head. He did remember crying after they parted. He remembered trying to make the sadness go away. He remembered nights in beds and stumbling home to cry in the shower, feeling disconnected in the physical connection. He remembered nights alone, empty bottles and holding a shot glass of tears, feeling unable to speak about this to anyone. Lost without knowing how to be found. Doing things based on impulse because only impulses were truly his and not poisoned by the opinions of others. Laughing at the search of happiness. Above all, he had been afraid. He had been afraid to give voice to his worries because then maybe they would gain power and overtake him.

But then he remembered the person who didn’t understand love.

There was such a person that existed out there.

He wondered how she was now.

“I wanted to tell you…”

And now he knew.

“I wanted to tell you I understand now. Or… don’t. Um.”

She smiled at him.

It was not the same way as she looked at the guitarist.

“Huh, you’ve become so mature and grown up. Well, welcome to the smoke-and-mirrors of adulthood, Jeon Jungkook,” she chuckled teasingly, shaking her head. “I scarred you that bad, eh?”

“No, I didn’t mean–”

She raised a hand to stop him, waving away his apology. “No, it’s okay. I’m surprised you still remember me. And don’t hate me. A lot of them hate me.”

Your mind might forget me, but the body always remembers.

His body did remember.

“A lot of them?” he echoed, a muscle in his jaw tightening.

The faintest tick of her eyebrow. “You gonna tell me you have all these tattoos and piercings and don’t get laid?”

His heart dropped. “You don’t like them?” He blurted that a little too fast.

She laughed. “My opinion of them doesn’t really matter.”

“Yes, it does,” was his quick reply.

She paused. The shadows in her eyes swirled. He tried to discern their meaning as he stared into those dark irises but the shadows were all evasive and clever, flitting away from him playfully. When she spoke again, there was a sternness to her tone. Not scolding him. Just getting her point across.

“Answer the question of whether or not you get laid.”

Hot and heavy nights that meant nothing compared to the cold and bright scratch on his heart.

“I…”

The tips of his ears suddenly burned but maybe it was the alcohol.

“I do. But I haven’t remembered or been bothered to remember a single thing they’ve said to me,” Jungkook heard himself say and wondered where that bravery came from.

She didn’t say anything for a moment.

Then she smiled in the way that made him shiver.

“Hyungu is gonna be pissed,” she laughed as the sound of a guitar riff pierced the air.

Oh, shit.

The spotlight faded.

Everything rushed back. Sound, color, light. It suddenly became very clear that he was too far and too long gone from his friends to go back now and face them. Jungkook spun around, seeing that the crowd had packed up tightly again. To his dismay, he had no idea where his friends were. They were no longer in that little pocket they had been. Did they get closer to the stage? Had they seen where he had gone? Did one of them text him? He was afraid to pull out his phone, both in rudeness and in the possible mortifying teasing. His phone was always on silent, at least. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him.

He turned back.

The melody echoing behind him was sharp and bright chords followed by a soulful voice.

She had been looking at the stage but immediately caught his gaze with a surprised expression. As if she hadn’t expected him to stay once the music started. And he shouldn’t, for it was rude and intrusive and inconsiderate to stay and invade a stranger’s space any longer.

But.

“You didn’t give me an answer.”

She blinked at him. “What?”

He pulled up the sleeve of his charcoal hoodie, revealing more of his tattoos. Her eyes tracked the movement, widening in surprise at the burst of color combined with thick black outlines. She had been able to see some of them, as his sleeves had been pushed up slightly, but it was much more obvious with the cuffs to the elbows. His forearm was covered with ink and there was no sign of stopping past the black patch in his inner elbow.

He looked back at her.

For a moment, they were young again.

Haloed by music, immersed in each other. A movie in real life. Suddenly it felt worth it – worth taking the risk of being rude, intrusive, or inconsiderate. Suddenly, it felt worth rolling the die and betting double just to…

Have a taste of that peppermint flavor.

“Yes or no?” he insisted, frowning, stubbornly pushing for an answer.

Deep down, Jungkook had always hoped she was thriving, shining brighter than all the stars, because then it proved that he, someone who also felt like he didn’t understand love, could be as impactful as that sparkling smile.

The corner of her lips ticked up in amusement. “Does a stranger’s opinion matter that much? I thought you weren’t going to let the opinions of others bother you anymore.”

Are we really strangers?

He grinned. “A stranger’s opinion would be the most unbiased, right?”

Can strangers speak like the way you and I do?

She stared at him for seconds that felt like forever-ever-afters.

Then she laughed, reaching up with a graceful hand and touching her fingertips to her forehead. His breath caught his throat, suddenly flooded with memories of youth and rashness, short as it was. He could see it all in a whirlwind. Crystal clear and fleeting all at once. A perfect storm and now caught in the eye, all of his wonders and helplessness thrown to the wayside upon seeing this familiar gesture that he didn’t even know until now was familiar, realizing now just how precious it was.

She lowered her hand with a mirthful and sparkling expression.

Beckoned with a downward wave as the music swelled, dangerously close to melting into the bridge.

“Step closer. You’re in someone’s way.”

Jungkook jolted, stumbling, realizing there was a short woman with carrying three full cups of foamy, honey-colored beer looking confusedly at him.

“Oh, shit, sorry–”

Her hand touched his shoulder, directing him gently.

His body moved but his mind froze at the touch.

“Listen. This is my favorite part. I’ll tell you after.”

One moment, there was space between them.

The next, he was standing next to her.

She tapped the air, closing her eyes.

“Listen.”

He closed his eyes obediently. Took away the visual, and suddenly his world was flooded with the auditory. An intricate guitar solo to bring life to his fluttering heart blending with piano and drums flowing together. Memories flashing past, too fast to grasp onto, happiness and misery, and then the bridge came, the lyrics painting the photo of two colorless roses abandoned by the heavens.

He opened his eyes and looked at her.

Her eyes opened at the final chorus, exhaling softly. Turned her head and he could see in the shadows of her gaze that she, too, remembered their minty whirlwind of memories.

Or…

Was he just hoping for that?

She smiled.

“I love your tattoos and piercings. You suit them well. I’m glad you found your own color, Jeon Jungkook. You shine so much brighter now than you did back then.”

It was at this moment that he knew...

He fucked up.

He shouldn’t have walked over here. He shouldn’t have asked the question. He shouldn’t have stayed and continued the conversation. He shouldn’t have asked if she liked how he looked now. He should have stayed with his friends and wondered. He should have preserved in the hot and heavy instead of searching for the past of crisp and bright. He might get used to it. He might end up finding what he was looking for, whatever it was. Or, better yet, he might just forget this whole feeling and her lasting words if he never saw her smile as she spoke to him again.

But he didn’t, so that meant he really fucked up.

Pit-a-pat.

He stared at her for so long that he didn’t realize he hadn’t said anything in reply until the song ended and her expression changed, tilting her head in puzzlement. She thinks I’m insane. Say something, Jungkook! Anything! But nothing was coming to mind, as how it always was in these situations. Awesome.

“Uh…”

She smoothly interrupted his awkwardness. “Did you come with friends?” Expression neutral. “I would hate to keep you from your company for too long.”

The notable shift from more casual to formal slightly stung.

No.

Really stung.

“I… Well, honestly, I don’t know where they are,” Jungkook confessed, scanning the crowd for a moment in attempt to look for them. It was a half-assed attempt, but it was an attempt. “I think I’ll have to look for them after the show. We’re meeting up with the band to eat, I think.”

“Oh? You know them?”

He pointed awkwardly to the stage. “Ah, yeah, the lead singer… We met in high school and are in the same friend group… Well, I’ve only recently started hanging out outside again. We’ve played a lot of online games together.”

“Oh, really?” She looked back up to the stage. “In that case, do you think your friends would mind if Hyungu tagged along?” A cautious smile. “It’s just… Hyungu-ah is in a band too, but they’re on hiatus right now. A few of them are doing military service. I think he really misses that environment. I can’t really talk music with him though, I don’t know anything,” she added ruefully, shaking her head and scrunching her nose. “Sorry, that’s probably a bit much to ask you after seeing you all this time. I’m just worried about that introvert, haha.”

Oh, right. The substitute guitarist. Right, because she didn’t simply magically appear as an act of fate or red string level of storytelling in a drama. Real life wasn’t like that.

“S-Sure, we can all go together–”

She was asking him to suggest or go along with the proposition to not alienate the guy. It was clear that she cared about him. He didn’t want to see them together, but… If she became part of his friend group, he might have a reason to go out more. Maybe he was a masochist. Maybe he just wanted to see if she was happy with that guy. Maybe he…

Okay, he wanted her to be close, even if it was all futile.

She relaxed. “Ah, phew. It really did take me a while to convince him to get out of the house,” she chuckled. “It’ll be nice for him to be around people that understand his true language of music, haha. I’ll stick around just in case, but don’t worry, I’ll leave and let you guys be guys, heh.”

Wait.

What?

Jungkook blinked rapidly. “Huh? Aren’t you coming too?”

She stared back. “Huh? Why?”

He looked at her and she looked at him.

Both blank stares of confusion.

“Why wouldn’t you go with your boyfriend?” he blurted.

Invisible question marks popped up over her head. Then she jolted and jerked her head to the band, to the blue-haired guitarist tearing it up on stage with a grin, then back at Jungkook, her eyes wide. “Me? Me?” She pointed to herself quickly, half-laughing in disbelief. “Me and Kang Hyungu?”

Jungkook gawked.

She burst out laughing.

“Oh, fuck, no, no, no,” she puffed, waving her hand all over. “No, no, he’s not… Oh, sheesh, no, we’re not dating. You thought… hah, sorry, there’s a misunderstanding here, hahaha…” She flicked her hand downward as if that idea was so ridiculous that it needed to be physically slapped out of existence. “Ah, no, how can I explain…”

Huh?

Wait, didn’t she mention earlier that his Kang Hyungu was going to be angry? She did directly say, Hyungu is gonna be pissed, right after Jungkook had told her he never bothered to remember what other girls told him, which would imply… argh, this was very baffling and Jungkook found his scatterbrained thoughts spinning trying to comprehend it all.

She straightened and ticked her head to the stage. “Me and him are just friends. We’ve been friends are a long time. Sorry, I can see why you’re mistaken since I came here with him, but Hyungu-ah is the type that really doesn’t like new situations. When he got asked to fill in for another band, he wanted me to come with him, since he wouldn’t know anybody. I believe he said he only spoke to these guys a couple times at festivals and he just needed some moral support.” She grinned. “Ya know, a tough cookie in case things get tough, hehe.”

Jungkook understood but also he was confused. “O… Oh…”

She motioned away his doubts. “In his words, you’re scary, noona. I’d feel much better if you came with me. Can you believe this guy? Just admit you’re lonely.” She rolled her eyes. “Hyungu-ah is a guitar genius. He’s a music nerd. I’ve known him since…” She paused, a dark shadow casting over her eyes as she recalled the past. “I was asked to tutor him when he was in high school and I was finishing university. He was shit at math and science. I helped him pass and then I…”

And again.

That pause.

Jungkook got the feeling she wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him or not.

She shrugged. “I moved away. Then I saw his name on a poster. Turns out this nerd made his dream a reality and started that band after all.” Her expression became fond. Gentle. “I went to go see him perform. I was surprised he recognized me, actually. Hah, kinda like–”

Her gaze shifted to him.

It was as if time stopped.

She continued, clearing her throat. “Anyway, I’m not dating anyone. Definitely not Hyungu. He’s more like a little brother to me. Or I’m more like a bodyguard, heh. With only intimidation tactics. I really should work out, huh…”

He frowned. “Have you talked about him before? I would have remembered someone so important to you.”

“Nah, I think you and me was after university. When I was being a slu–” She cut herself off. “Ahem, I mean, I was young and didn’t really want to deal with, well, anything. Running from myself, so to speak.” She sighed. A little heavy. “I meant to say sorry, back then. You got caught up with my madness.”

She winked.

Jungkook felt his heart skip a beat.

“But, hey, you dodged a bullet, eh?”

He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. That burst between them wasn’t there anymore.

Right?

Wrong.

He grinned.

“Nah, I’m bulletproof.”

Something about her.

Do you feel it too?

Her gaze sharpened and she stilled, mischief sparkling in her eyes.

“Oh, yeah?”

Well.

Can’t say you expected the events of tonight to be on this year’s bingo card.

You laid in bed and scrolled through your phone, but you didn’t pay much attention to anything on the screen. On one hand, you felt a little restless leaving Kang Hyungu to fend for himself with his low alcohol tolerance. On another hand, he was a grown man and would call you in the middle of the night to pick him up if he was really fucked up. Eh, he was too much of a good boy to be irresponsible.

You chuckled to no one in particular.

You were alone, after all.

It was a miracle, really, that little Hyungu still wanted to be your friend now.

In some ways, he was still the same kid you had met all those years ago. You didn’t really interact with him much as you were a couple years older and, well, a girl. You couldn’t really look at him either, all things considering. After all, wasn’t it highly probable that the bags under his eyes was your family’s fault? Your family and his family happened to be next-door neighbors at the apartment complex.

No one really talked about it.

In certain areas, the sounds of yelling and thrown dishes were simply background noise. Normal circumstances. The first near two decades of your life was that every day. Most of the time, your presence was as insignificant as a cockroach. Sometimes you would be spoken of but never spoken to. You learned from a pretty young age to shut up or be forced to shut up. The family motto was, children are not meant to be seen or heard. The adults were speaking. More accurately, arguing, escalating to screaming, and then to scalding silent treatment. Repeat cycle. You learned to snatch food from the fridge as soon as you saw it. No one was going to prepare anything for you, but at least there was always something edible in there.

Until you became a teenager, that was.

It got especially bad when you attended high school as both sides picked up hideous habits to deal with their issues. In your opinion, they should have picked divorce to deal with them, but instead they chose gambling and serial cheating. Sometimes neither would come home for days. Whenever they crossed paths, the endless war continued. There was no way to predict when the silence could become suddenly violate and now you were old enough to understand what was going on – and old enough to loathe it. You barely saw your next-door neighbors at that time because you did basically anything you could to avoid going home. There was only so much a child can take.

They either didn’t notice or didn’t care.

It was also about this time that you started using sex as a coping mechanism.

Approval by society wasn’t high on the list for you at that time, nor was it now. Must have been the upbringing. You watched alcohol become an expensive addiction for your parents and, paired with their mindless days at the casinos and excess spending on extramarital pleasures, illegal drugs were out of the question. Sex, however. If you knew what clinics to go to or where to shoplift, well. Free protection. Yup. During university, though, was when you needed money. You couldn’t go far as you couldn’t pay to live in a dorm. Your scholarships were barely covering tuition, so living at home was the only option. At this point, your parents had mostly forgot forgot that there was someone they birthed living in the apartment with them, which was fine by you, except when you needed to eat.

How Kang Hyungu knew things he shouldn’t know was a mystery you never figured out.

You had gotten locked out, again, and some loud dispute was happening behind the door. Deadbolted. It was shaping up to be a shit night – that was until a tall high schooler with a guitar bag approached the door to your right. You tried not to look at him and decided you would leave to find a PC bang to spend the night. But he must have seen your university-branded bag and called out your family name.

That was when Kang Hyungu started talking to you.

He must have noticed the many times that you had been locked out. Well, how could he ignore it? You didn’t want to do the small talk thing except for immediately informing him with your given name. However, your ears perked up when he mentioned that he needed help with math and science classes. He was looking to pay a tutor. Cram school was pretty expensive. Turns out you both had attended the same high school – of course, considering you lived in the same damn apartment building – and the high school posted notices about alumni that had received scholarships. That shit was a big deal to educators.

That was how you ended up in a basement studio room listening to five high schoolers make songs for hours and teaching them calculus, biology, and chemistry. All of them ended up being mild levels of garbage at those subjects, but it made teaching in a group much more efficient. It was thanks to Hyungu that you were able to eat all of university. Honestly, you didn’t really need the money as much as you needed somewhere to be. Yeah, it was pretty clear that Hyungu knew that somehow. He was a lot more observant than you gave him credit for. Neither of you really talked about it even though you should have.

Maybe, then…

When you graduated university, it was clear you had to leave. It was clear you had to put some distance between you and those who birthed you. Turns out, they did it for you, because one day you came home from job hunting and you didn’t have a home anymore. The apartment door was open and some random people were moving in. Cool. A talk with the leasing office, then. Turns out your parents moved out and didn’t bother to tell you. Together? Separately? Who the fuck knew. You found a box of your clothes in the dumpster along with some other random shit. Your birth certificate, even.

Your entire existence thrown in the trash.

It had really not been the best time.

Couple months of living strictly from PC bangs and business hotel rooms, you started a desk job at minimum wage. Funny how a degree didn’t do much but whatever. You also continued your not-so-great coping mechanism of fucking around, which is how you met Jeon Jungkook. He definitely had a different idea of how it all went down, but.

You paused, seeing that you had pulled up your phone contacts and there he was.

Even through changed models, your phone contacts transferred over. You never bothered to clear them out unless the person was worth blocking. Jeon Jungkook wasn’t worth blocking. The breakup, if you could call it that, was pretty simple. You said what you said and he didn’t fight you. You didn’t need his number in the years after, but you forgot about thinking you needed to delete unused numbers. You didn’t really forget him, though.

He was the only one that you felt sorry for breaking his heart.

He hadn’t been your type back then. Your type had been self-destructive, and you had become tired of that, so you chased for the complete opposite instead. You knew full well that it wasn’t going to work out. You didn’t even go into it invested. But you chose well, and he was the complete opposite. He trusted everything you said. He put up with your cold front. He liked you more than you liked him and he had no idea that he did. In fact, you wouldn’t be surprised that he wouldn’t care even if he knew. He was good in bed too. Eager, quick to learn, and listened to everything you said. Tried everything you asked without questioning or judging. It was precisely why you broke it off before it got too deep, because it got too deep way too fast.

He thought of you too highly when, at that time, you were too low to be anything above a grey area.

Aren’t you afraid I’ll forget you?

Just by asking you that, you never forgot Jungkook. He was the only one who seemed worried about that. Everyone else called you a heartless bitch or a dumb whore who was making a mistake. But Jungkook asked you if you were afraid that he would lose your memory, as if it was valuable enough to be tarnished.

Life worked in mysterious ways.

The happening of you seeing Hyungu’s name on a poster was by chance. The choice to go to that concert back then was on a whim. The chance of Hyungu recognizing you and coming to find you, dragging you to his bandmates that all yapped excitedly around you as if no time had passed was surprising. You had always thought they had forgotten or resented you on some level. After all, you didn’t have a working phone for a while since you couldn’t pay for a plan. You had essentially ghosted them for years, but Hyungu acted as if you had always been there. I’ll never forget that you took good care of me, noona. There was no way you could even attempt to date Kang Hyungu. How could you ruin a relationship that he kept preserved so preciously when you abandoned it? He spoke highly of you even when you hadn’t been around, even when you had been too busy being selfish and self-centered. He smiled at you and relied on you once again because he trusted that you could be relied on. You would sigh and be hauled around by these young loons and support their blooming music career as you got your footing and made it to a better desk job with better pay.

And, by some fate, being close to Kang Hyungu caused you to cross paths with Jeon Jungkook once again.

Weird, eh?

You lowered your phone, staring up at the ceiling.

Well, life was full of coincidences, right? There was no reason to think this was a special event. After all, you had been trying your best to forget that time in your life where you felt the most lost. It took a lot of pushing past your own stubbornness to realize that how your parents felt about you had nothing to do who you were. Accepting that you weren’t the worst fuckup ever to exist, thanks to the saving grace of someone who remembered to call you noona in an endearing way and not in an obligated way. It would be counterproductive to…

Jeon Jungkook’s smiling face flashed in your mind.

You only had one orb-shaped lamp on currently. It was one of those that you could set the lighting color and tone to your taste. You liked the low, moody, cool blue lighting. Besides, you knew the layout of your apartment by now, and the overhead lighting wasn’t necessary unless you needed to look for something.

The orb shone like the moon.

Jungkook had known such a different version of you and yet he still smiled at you like that.

“You must have somebody, don’t you?” you sighed to the shining moon.

It was silly to think too much about a random conversation. And, really, all he wanted to know was if you still found him hot or whatever. Yeah, he was just looking for external validation. You just happened to be there. Tattoos and piercings and working out? Sounded like a quarter life crisis to you. One that worked out in his favor, though. Your skin prickled with goosebumps, but it wasn’t from a tangible cold.

In the darkness, the moon-shaped light glowed brightly.

“It would be nice if you had somebody.”

You frowned and turned your back to the light.

It was a coincidence. Another moment of going through life and realizing you had been climbing Penrose stairs all along. How different were you from back then, really? It wasn’t as if you magically started getting into relationships and had a damn epiphany. The cruel epiphany was that we were all stuck in this endless loop of our respective pasts catching up to the present. No amount of heat could dissipate the coldness of the future.

You sighed, melting into the comfort of your cool bedsheets.

“I should just forget about Jeon Jungkook,” you mumbled.

Whatever.

Wasn’t like you were ever gonna see him again.

You dozed off.

Your phone vibrated against your chest.

“You idiot, you know you have no tolerance…”

“Noona, it was so fun, ahahaha…”

The air was cold. The sting of winter clung to his cheeks. He called out her name, feeling like the sound was drowned out by the cars and white noise in his head, but, once again, Jeon Jungkook completely forgot how loud he was.

Passersby jumped as he ran past clutching a guitar bag.

Her arms were wrapped around a blue-haired man who was dwarfing her frame. He looked half-asleep and too proud of himself but that was probably under the influence of alcohol and good vibes. She jolted, startled, her eyes widening as Jungkook skidded to a questionably close stop in front of them, nearly colliding into her.

In fact, he did.

“Woah!”

“Yah!”

He threw an arm out and around them, snapping back to hold the three of them up, pressing the guitar bag to her chest. There they were, a bundle of people who somehow ended up like this with a guitar cuddled between them, standing in the middle of the sidewalk at midnight with nightlife bystanders staring at them like they were all insane. At least Kang Hyungu was completely oblivious. Come to find out during dinner, he had low alcohol tolerance. Less than a soju bottle low. Welp. Nobody had believed him and he had given in a bit. At least he had the backup plan of a close friend picking him up. The group of guys had all stayed at the restaurant, making sure he was safe until she arrived, flushed and windswept, bowing repeatedly in thankfulness.

Therefore, Kang Hyungu was blissfully unaware of the sudden awkwardness of past lovers staring at each other with their stunned faces millimeters from each other.

Jungkook froze, holding her tight.

“H… His guitar…”

Her lips parted but no sound came out.

In his shock, he had only now realized she had removed her makeup. His heartbeat leapt to his throat, suddenly remembering how much he had loved the shape of her eyes and the color of her natural, full lips. How her cheeks seemed more filled out now. Healthier. Her skin glowed. He could almost…

Almost.

His body shivered.

She blinked, casting her eyes down. “Oh, shit, how could I forget… T-Thank you. He would be heartbroken without his precious guitar,” she breathed out quickly and exasperatedly, reaching up to grab the strap. “Thank you. Sorry to trouble you.”

“It’s o-okay…”

Jungkook reluctantly peeled away from her, taking a step back. There was an awkward moment of her still holding onto her friend and shouldering the guitar, juggling between the two. Even in that short moment, Jungkook realized Kang Hyungu must work out. He was not as light as he seemed. Instinctively, Jungkook reached out and held Hyungu’s shoulders when the guitar slipped from her narrow shoulder.

“Aw, fuck–”

Jungkook almost laughed at her puffed cheeks and under-the-breath swearing.

Almost, because his heart ached suddenly.

She had been so cute when she was mad, even if it was being taken out on him. He always thought that, so it had always been hard to argue when he was trying not to be in love with those cheeks.

“Sorry, I got him,” she sighed. “I’ll get him home even if I have to drag him.”

“I’ll help you, noona.”

She froze with her arms around another man. Her eyes darted and fixated on him.

Jungkook realized his mistake and also froze.

He had been calling her formally by name out of politeness until now. The same way strangers would address each other with no intention of ever meeting again. The honorific had just slipped out naturally. Or unnaturally, depending on how one considered the effects of alcohol. The blue-haired guitarist was half-asleep on her shoulder. There were only two conscious souls under this streetlamp on this cold night.

A diffused spotlight.

He sputtered. “S… Sorry, was that too informal…?”

Her gaze shifted. Were her cheeks pink from the crisp air or was it his eyes playing tricks on him? “No, it’s fine, I just…” She shook her head, swallowing hard. “It’s been a while since you… It’s okay,” she chuckled, the corner of her lips rising. “I mean, I would be pissed if you called me anything else. Our age difference is not that significant, but it’s there.”

“Y-Yeah.”

Was there hope in those shadowy eyes or was it all in his mind?

“Don’t you have to go home too?”

He grinned.

“Ah, I stay up until three in the morning every night anyway. Let’s get Hyungu-ssi home.”

Which was how you ended up on a bus with not-so-little-anymore Kang Hyungu snoring on your left shoulder and your past fling Jeon Jungkook on your right.

Awkward.

You clutched Hyungu’s guitar bag like your life depended on it. Actually, deep down you were kind of glad it somehow ended up this way. Being on a bus at midnight meant the crowd was the unpleasant kind. It must have been an odd sight. Sleeping Hyungu by the window, you in the middle seat holding a very expensive guitar, and Jungkook at the aisle being a great big buffer to keep the unsavory folk away. He was wearing a thick black parka over his charcoal sweat set, and he had his hood up to protect his ears from the cold.

For some reason, his jaw was clenched.

His eyebrows were furrowed too, giving him a very mean appearance for no reason. Or, at least, no discernable reason you could conclude. He wasn’t looking at anyone in particular as far as you could tell.

“Sorry about this,” you suddenly said.

Jungkook flinched and turned his head to look at you. Instantly, his expression burst into life, the stern expression melting away into sparkling big peepers and pink lips in a small ‘o’, making your breath catch as the small mole under his lip appeared.

You used to kiss that mole first before you kissed his lips.

Used to.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he replied with a smile.

“I feel like I cut your night short.”

He gave you a lopsided grin, scratching his cheek. “Eh, I can go to the club or karaoke bar some other time. And maybe I need to not be so easily influenced, ahahaha…”

You hummed. “Guess you’re still the same, going along with our people’s suggestions.”

He puffed his cheeks. “No, I’m not. I’m here with you now, aren’t I?” he shot back.

Pause.

You both looked away at the same time.

Hyungu snored softly in your ear.

Thanks for that, man.

You tried to ignore the creeping goosebumps along your back. It was not the outside temperature. You were wearing your big black leather jacket over the black sweatshirt and jeans you yanked on to quickly get out the door. Your shoulder bumped into Jungkook’s as the bus stopped and let some passengers off. It was still a few stops yet of this awkwardness. For fuck’s sake, you were the older one. Come on. You resisted the urge to slap your own cheeks to get a grip. Nothing is going on here. The heart palpitations were in your head. Yeah. Totally.

“Thank you, again.”

You felt him shift, sitting up straighter. “I really don’t mind at all, noona.”

You sat up too, casting him a sideways half-smile.

He bit the left side of his lip, mumbling.

“I never minded doing anything for you.”

A strange tingling sensation danced over your scalp and down your shoulders. Sigh. He was doing this on purpose, right? One look and of course not. You shut your eyes. Maybe you could just make up a reason to hate him. You thought you had lost him under other bodies and darker nights and bad decisions. You thought he hated you for ending it the way you did, so coolly and unfeelingly. You thought.

“Have you been happy, Jungkook?”

You felt him hesitate. You could almost remember how he smelled back then. Like crisp linens and bright cotton. He loved fabric softener and similar clean scents. Have you been happy after me? You hoped so. In retrospect, you had been such a small, meaningless part in this winding road of life.

“I… I guess? I’m doing things I like to do. I feel like I’m able to live more freely, and I figure I can just… keep doing what I’m good at.”

You smiled.

“That’s good.”

You opened your eyes.

“What about you, noona?”

Have I been happy?

Did you even know what that meant? And yet you felt the weight of precious Hyungu’s head against your shoulder. Someone who relied on your good heart wholeheartedly. Never mind your opinion of if your heart was good or not, or even there. Happy? You went to work. You enjoyed your hobbies like music and games. You stayed home and shopped online when you were bored. You had the money to buy your favorite snacks and you had the luxury to have poor time management to eat them at midnight and wake up puffy the next day.

You had a very simple life that your younger self could barely dream of.

I don’t want to end up like my parents.

Was that why you didn’t want to be in a relationship?

“Noona?”

You looked up suddenly, noticing your surroundings. Quickly pulled on the cord to create the gentle bell tone.

“We need to get off here.”

Somehow, Jungkook ended up in a stranger’s corner apartment surrounded by vinyl, boxed CD albums, and music equipment. It was on a lower floor so at least they didn’t have to climb any stairs to get to the front door. The living room area was less like a living room and more like a half-music studio, complete with guitars, speakers, and a computer with lots of expensive looking music equipment around it. The surrounding walls had black foam squares taped neatly, even on the ceiling. The rest of the wall space was occupied by posters of various indie and mainstream bands. He was surprised to see the few plushies of penguins on the couch. Along the wall of the stairs were flyers that each had a corresponding nail that hung lanyards with plastic cards – artist passes. Festivals and concerts and such, each one containing a recurring name if he looked closely enough.

He, along with his past lover, helped the young man he had just met tonight into the bed in the loft area.

It was a small space.

Somehow, they managed being that close.

“Thanks, again,” she sighed, descending down the stairs in front of him. “You must be thirsty. There has to be some water around here.”

Somehow, Jungkook found himself standing in the hallways of a stranger’s apartment drinking a bottle of water as he watched the one who got away rip a memo note off a pad and scribble something down, finding a Pingu mug to sandwich it under.

Somehow.

She turned around and sighed, looking relieved. The guitar bag was on the sofa, safe and sound.

Then they stared at each other, realizing they were now alone.

Well, not alone.

Above them, Kang Hyungu was in dreamland.

“Ah…”

Her shoulders slumped.

“Sorry, I didn’t even ask how out of your way this was. I’ll pay for a taxi back.”

“Ah, no, that’s okay. I can make my way.”

“Don’t be like that,” she scolded, although not with much severity. “I can’t take advantage of your kindness.”

He paused, staring into her eyes. They hadn’t turned on too many lights. Enough to see, and then turned off most of them right away to avoid waking up the neighbors with the brightness. Only the warm bulb by the door was on now, illuminating them together.

“Noona, can I ask you something?” he asked softly, realizing his voice shook a little.

She lifted her head, pulling her hands out of her pockets.

“Yeah, of course. What is it?”

Have you ever been in love?

He looked at her, and he remembered the question she didn’t answer on the bus. They had been hurried and trying not to inconvenience anyone. Now that what about you was lost in the whirlwind of sights, sounds, in time past. Jungkook was pretty sure that he knew what the line of love and distraction was, but he found he had no real words to describe it. Only a feeling of sureness, just as he was sure that if he asked this question, have you ever been in love, he would be overstepping a boundary somehow.

Mostly because it seemed obvious.

And also because it was not fair to ask questions that he was personally invested in the answer and honestly didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer.

Had he ever been in love? Sure, although he knew it was always with the caveat of what he knew at the time and driven by the image painted by his own parents. A miracle that he had a chance to witness. He hadn’t really thought about how deeply seeing them interact affected him until he met her. She never spoke about her parents. It was like they didn’t exist. No photos, no calls, no casual drop-bys to hand over a home-cooked meal and say hi. In contrast, Jungkook had the unfortunately mortifying moment of being balls deep and then interrupted by his own mother right before the big finale. She just silently laughed while hiding behind the door as his mom attempted to enter his apartment, why are there clothes all over the floor, aish, I keep telling you that I didn’t teach you to be messy, and him trying to reassure her that everything was fine and he had to be somewhere soon.

Yeah.

Anyway.

It the time it had been embarrassing, but she had told him something that had, again, stuck with him for a long time after. You are lucky that she takes the time to bother you. Some people would do anything to have their parents care for their well-being just one more time. The realization had humbled him. Sorry. I didn’t know your parents passed away. But she had just shaken her head with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

No, Jungkook, they’re very much alive. They just never cared about me, ever.

He had felt very sorry then, but she had waved her hand and laughed.

Don’t be. I can’t miss something I’ve never had.

It was then that Jungkook realized that he believed in love because his parents were in love. It was later when Jungkook realized that he, too, had been in love, but this was only after he had stopped seeing her. Only after he stopped tasting her strong, concentrated flavor. The world had become a tasteless future despite all the color and saturation trying to grab his attention.

Because she had left.

It might have been short, but that time had been a forever-after packed into a few months.

Jungkook jumped as she tapped the back of his hand with her fingertip.

“Hello? Welcome back to Earth. Did you enjoy your time spacing out?”

She looked amused.

“Guess you haven’t changed from your random space-outs, heh,” she chuckled, taking his empty water bottle and tossing it in the recycling. Even removed the paper label and everything. “Come on. You shouldn’t be interrogating me in Hyungu’s apartment anyway.”

She ushered him out of the apartment and made sure to lock up behind herself. He wondered why she had a key. Then again, her and the guitarist were very clearly good friends. Jungkook wondered if it would still be like that if Hyungu or her started dating. Or, maybe not, if they ended up dating each other.

Suddenly, Jungkook felt incredibly helpless.

She bumped into him because he stopped walking, bouncing off. They were still in the narrow hallway, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb the neighbors at this late hour. The light in the hallway was warm and low. Not due to the night. More because the lightbulbs were generally old and shitty.

“Woah, what’s going on? You don’t know how to walk straight? Do you need a leash?” she whispered lightheartedly, coming around him.

He looked up.

It must have shown on his face because the playful laughter in her features immediately slipped away upon eye contact.

He had millions of unfair questions swirling in his mind, can we try again, is there something wrong with me, why did you leave me, and Jungkook knew he could ask none of them. For fuck’s sake, they had only just seen each other again tonight. He should just be happy they were together now, even in this platonic way. He should just be happy that she seemed healthy and content. He should just…

But you’ve always known me so well.

You aren’t hard to read, Jungkook, she used to laugh when they talked about how fast they had gotten into bed together.

She placed her hand on his elbow.

Dragged from his minty whirlwind memories and thrown into the present, Jungkook stared at her unreadable expression, but there were too many shadows and his vision was too clouded with what was.

“Come on. We can’t stay here,” she murmured gently, pulling him along.

“I’m not letting you go home alone. It’s not safe.”

“What do you think I’ve been doing all this time? Teleporting?” You scowled. “Besides, turns out your apartment is closer to here and mine is further down. It makes no sense for you to double back.”

One thing about Jeon Jungkook was that once he got an idea in his head, he was more stubborn than an ox. It was true back then when he was chasing after your ass and it was true right now. He was frowning at you and furrowing his eyebrows. The frustrated expression was broken by how big his dark brown eyes were.

“I keep telling you it’s not a big deal for me, noona. I don’t mind.”

“This isn’t about whether or not you mind,” you sighed grumpily. “It just doesn’t make sense. Fine. Fine, do whatever you want.”

Which was how you ended up in a taxi with Jungkook, crammed in the backseat of a tiny sedan with a grandpa who didn’t make small talk and blasted trot music. Well, it probably would have felt less tiny if Jungkook wasn’t right next to you like a big fabric blob. You hadn’t paid much attention to how crowded you had been on the bus since you were already weighed down by half-dead guitarist and his guitar. You had thought Hyungu had been playing up his drunkenness for the attention but he had thoroughly passed out by the time the bus had arrived. He was a lightweight so you weren’t super worried to leave him alone. Then again, you couldn’t tell Jungkook to get lost and leave you at another guy’s apartment, because what kind of message would that send?

Not that Jungkook’s opinion of how you spent your time mattered.

It had just felt rude, that was all.

You were kind of worried about him anyway. You witnessed him zoning out and simply standing there twice already. Boy was gonna get kidnapped one of these days. Sheesh. The car rolled to a stop. You paid the driver through the app and thanked him, getting a wordless nod in return. Cool. Opened the car door and climbed out, followed by a big shadowy blob.

Uh.

The car drove away.

“Jungkook, you should have asked him to drive you to your place,” you pointed out.

Those big brown eyes looked from your apartment complex to you. “Huh?”

Was the heck is on his mind? You sighed and pulled up the taxi app again. “Give me your address. I did say I’ll pay for it.”

“I, erm…”

You looked up at Jungkook’s uneasy tone. Confused. He looked uncomfortable and awkward, not really looking at you in the face.

“I kinda have to go.”

You blinked at him.

He waved his hands. “Eh, it’s fine. I’ll go find a bush or something. Um.”

“Jungkook, I’m not letting you pee in a bush. Do you see this place? You think they’ll let me continue living here after seeing on one of their cameras that my guest peed in a bush?”

He looked from the white walls to the stone fence to the black iron gate to the immaculately clean, very neatly trimmed, small ball-shaped bushes. They weren’t even knee-height. “I-I-I just don’t want you to t-think…” He shifted, wavering a bit. Eyes darting in every direction. “It was all the water and the alcohol earlier, um…” You sighed and turned around to punch in the code. “I didn’t want you to think I’m doing it on purpose.”

You paused.

Then you pushed the gate open and motioned him in.

“Come on before your piss yourself.”

Which was how you ended up sighing as you tossed your jacket onto your large charcoal sofa while Jungkook emptied his bladder in the bathroom of your apartment. At least you hoped that was what he was doing. You weren’t going to be a creep and try to listen for evidence. You flopped down, cozying into the soft but durable fabric. You wouldn’t have brought this couch if it wasn’t for the great deal and the ability for it to be modular, meaning you could lock the pieces together to make a bed and watch television, as well as also having the ability to make it look like an L-shaped sofa when you had guests over so that they didn’t know that you really put the potato in couch potato several times a week.

Hey.

Money well spent.

Of course, you usually only had very few guests over. Occasional one to warm the bed and maybe hosting Hyungu’s band members. Not at the same time. Duh. You weren’t trying to traumatize the five friends you had – Hyungu and the other four band members. Yeah. Wasn’t much, but they existed, even though they were busy right now being Korean men and all that. Soon, Hyungu would be egg-headed and off to duty too. You puffed out your cheeks. Temporary, of course, and yet.

Who knows what could happen?

You were always prepared to find yourself alone.

Wouldn’t be the first time to come home, only to realize home didn’t exist.

It never had.

You heard commotion and Jungkook reappeared, looking relieved. Probably because he was. “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to…” He trailed off.

You stood up.

You were past the wishing phase. The pretending phase. Past the numbness and looking for promises when there were none. Expectation was only the precursor to disappointment, after all. To be honest, if it wasn’t for your carnal sex drive, you would be past the distractions too. Good to know you weren’t completely ready to throw in the towel yet. If it wasn’t for someone relying on you, you as well have chosen to fade away.

If it wasn’t for…

You made eye contact with Jeon Jungkook, even though you didn’t want to.

Before today, you really wouldn’t have cared about seeing someone you used to date. Past was in the past. You had made a lot of bad decisions. So far, they hadn’t come back to haunt you yet. As you stared into those big brown eyes, frozen in place by your sudden attention, you wondered what you could say to assure him that you were different from back then. You could admit it now. You could admit back then you were weaker than anybody else, fighting your own demons by running away, wondering what was wrong with you to have parents who fought every day and did everything to run away from their internal struggles except the solution of divorce, and you could admit now that you took out that loss on everyone else around you, all the while knowing the reality.

That was just how life was, sometimes.

Life didn’t know fair and unfair. People made choices without caring about the consequences all the time. You didn’t care enough back then, because you knew you wouldn’t know what to do if they cared back. You knew you could never be beloved when you had nothing and no one to call home.

I don’t want to avoid reality, even if I’m afraid.

The past memories flickered like a whirling panorama – Jungkook nervous in front of you, trying to ask about how the automated system worked so he could get ramyeon with the soft-boiled egg at the PC bang in the dead of night. Playing computer games with him, laughing because he wasn’t very good but still trying for some reason. Learning that he wasn’t doing very well in university and that he was trying to do the escapism thing while working on his video editing business on the side. Sharing a bed with him, not saying anything about how all your belongings only fit in one duffel bag. He didn’t have to know. His face between your hands. Kisses that took his worries away. Body to body, warm for the first time in a long time. Your fingertips walking up his chest, all the way to his rattling heartbeat, turning a simple night into a fantasy.

The thought of your actions having any positive effect seemed foreign and impossible.

But maybe that was the victim mentality talking.

“Can I ask you something, Jungkook?”

He looked surprised. “M…Me?”

You hooked your thumbs into the belt loops of your jeans, doing something with your hands so they wouldn’t fidget about. Even now, he was the same. There was still this persistent innocence about him, stubbornly sticking around as if he could be young forever. He still believed in something, even if life kept trying to tell him time and time again that it wasn’t true.

“Do you still have feelings for me?”

You saw the whirlwind flash through his eyes.

Guilt. Nervousness. Uncertainty. Helplessness, wondering if he was asking for something that could never be given. He was still so easy to read. Those big brown eyes couldn’t hide anything and it wasn’t his nature to lie. There were stars in his eyes.

Those stars were tears.

“You said… You said you can’t feel love,” he shuddered, blinking hard.

There wasn’t much space between you and him. Somewhere around a meter. But it felt like light-years of desolate space and sudden heartache from a heart you weren’t sure you had. Maybe you were born with one, but all flowers wither with no care. You were the desert and he was the ocean, at least in the emotional sense.

You wanted to insist.

I can know love!

But, could you?

You collected a breath and nodded. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for back then. For using you, even though you probably don’t think you were used. For breaking the unspoken promise I couldn’t understand.”

Jungkook looked back at you. His voice small, stranded and lost.

“I have never fallen in love after you, noona.”

You were different now, you told yourself, but maybe you weren’t really and that was the problem.

“It’s impossible to fall in love when I have always been in love with you.”

You opened your mouth to tell him that was silly. It had only been a couple months. You hadn’t even really been that attentive. It had been a short-lived romance, if you could call fucking constantly and gaming at the PC bang at three in the morning that. A fleeting gratification. A sharp burst that lit up the timeline of a very long and eventful life that Jeon Jungkook would have. Nothing more.

Just…

A pop of peppermint gum.

You had meaningful relationships. Ones that taught you things about yourself and people. Maybe even ones that other people could consider love, depending on what their definition was.

But, then there was…

Jungkook.

You opened your mouth to tell him he was silly but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

Had it been love?

And could it still be love?

“You… You don’t even know what I’m like now,” you blew out, suddenly feeling winded. “I could be a total asshole.” You looked away, tucking your tongue in your cheek.

“But I helped you make sure you got your friend and his guitar home safe?” Jungkook questioned, sounding confused. “Would a total asshole would do that?”

“I don’t know,” you rambled, not so sure about anything anymore. “I mean… you’ve only just met me again after how long?”

“A really long time,” Jungkook answered, frown in his tone.

“Yeah, exactly.” You latched on, not caring that he didn’t even calculate it. “How do you know it’s not rose-tinted glasses and all that?”

He shrugged. Glanced at you. “I don’t really think I have the brainpower for that, noona.”

You stared at him.

Jungkook shrugged again.

You shook your head. “You can’t say that about yourself.”

He scratched his cheek, looking sheepish. “At least I know where I’m still lacking?”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “No, you–”

He beat you to it.

“Do I have to understand?”

You froze, realizing you had taken a few steps towards him, perhaps in hopes of shaking some sense into him. This was crazy. This didn’t make any sense. This was only a coincidence turned convoluted by memories, tangled emotions, circumstance…

“My mind might forget, but my body always remembered. There is only you for me.”

Your head snapped up, seeing his soft smile. The recall was so fierce that it was déjà vu, except you had been the one with the gentle smile and he had been the one lost, wondering if you were afraid of losing his love. Now. His short black hair a little windswept, his dark brown eyes a little glassy, and yet he smiled at you, mole peeking out from under the center of his lower lip. Do I have to understand? To understand was to know and to know was to be sure that you were in love, except that you said so yourself that sometimes the thoughts didn’t quite catch up to the heart.

He looked embarrassed, abruptly looking away, letting out a shaky breath.

“It’s just… I think I knew it all along but, even if I know, it doesn’t mean I can change your mind, ha… ha, can you imagine, running off to track you down, you would just think I’m crazy, and if I jeopardized your happiness for my own selfishness, I don’t think I could live with myself… and, anyway…”

He wasn’t really looking at anything anymore.

“Even if what I wanted was ugly, our time was beautiful.”

You stepped forward.

“It’s a common, basic story, isn’t it? My wish for us to be exceptional is too foolish,” Jungkook laughed weakly. Rambling. Speaking from his heart but still unable to focus on the present.

You reached forward.

“I wanted everything about you. I still do.”

Your fingertip touched his cheek.

“Don’t cry,” you finally said.

He froze.

You wiped away a fallen star, the overhead lights of your apartment catching the tears before Jungkook even realized they were there. You brushed the droplet away, but they were falling, falling, and he turned his head, still not really registering what was happening, even as the base of your palms pressed into his cheeks and swept his tears away, quickly breathless as you were captured by the universes entangled in his eyes. You could feel the wetness on your skin. The shudder in his breath. His hands came up to touch your wrists, and you still believed you couldn’t be enough for him, even now, but your body responded on its own, cradling his face, bringing him to you.

“Please don’t cry,” you said again, softly, and realized you said it because, a long time ago, you would have done anything to have someone tell you that in the past, please don’t cry. So, you told Jungkook instead.

He was someone as precious as a memory.

And, yes, even if your thoughts didn’t catch up right away, you pulled him to you, body to body, feeling him shiver, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, this isn’t very manly of me, and like clockwork you told him to shut up and cry, holding him because you remembered he liked to be held. You had told him back then that you weren’t really the type to cuddle, but he had finally confessed late one night that he yearned to be close to you, even if only for a little while, and that he had been afraid to admit it in fear of pushing you away. So, you relented, if only to comfort him and make him happy.

Is that love?

“It’s okay to cry,” you murmured gently, stroking his hair. “It’s just not okay to cry alone.”

He buried his eyes into your shoulder and wept.

He was still in his jacket, swamping you with his frame and excess layers. You placed your arms around his waist under his parka, feeling his warm and shaking frame, gently placing your hands on his shoulder blades.

“I’m sorry… I-I don’t k-know why I’m c-crying…”

“Shh…”

You tugged him along. Step by step, and made him sit on the sofa with you, curled up in a tangle of limbs with your hands on his back. His body was hot from emotion, and he pulled his arms out of his jacket to wipe his nose and eyes with his hoodie sleeves, still not looking at you, and you gave him the privacy, not looking at him either, only holding him as close as possible and keeping his parka on his shoulders, covering you and him together.

“T-This wasn’t how… I t-thought… how I would be hugging you a-again…” Jungkook sobbed quietly, leaning his forehead against your shoulder.

You held him close.

“Yeah, well, nothing is really turning out how you or I planned it. Mostly because neither of us had a plan to begin with.”

He laughed, albeit feebly and wetly, but you just smiled and placed your hand on his head again, running your fingers through his hair. You didn’t have a grand speech planned. You didn’t even really know the right words to say or the correct way to organize your thoughts. You simply leaned him against you, nestled in the cushions, and kept your arms wrapped around him for a long, long time.

click here for part ii

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #bts smut #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

281 notes · View notes

forevertoru · 2 months ago

Text

cafe rekindle ~ koshi sugawara x reader

synopsis: after years of living in your hometown after graduation, one last glimpse of your past was enough to motivate you to finally give yourself the fresh start you needed. a new city, a new life. with the help of the people around you, you were able to accomplish your dreams and start your very own cafe. working in your own cafe means you meet lots of people, but one familiar face was enough to make the walls you built up over the years falter.

chapter synopsis: love isn't always something that'll stay in our lives. accept it or not, people come and go if they see fit. even a picture perfect relationship with a sturdy foundation can come crumbling down. despite the hardships of losing someone you saw as "forever", don't let that stop you from accomplishing your ambition. but even new cities have familiar faces.

notes: i literally have no idea what i'm doing, this is my first time (in a while but we dont talk abt that) writing fanfic.. wish me luck. (wrote this bcuz i was listening to promise by laufey while reading angst fanfics)

tags: angst (?), fluff (?), elementary school teacher, cafe owner, exes to lovers, second chance romance, slow burn, fem reader-oriented pronouns

warnings: swearing, reader smokes to deal with emotions, talks of mental health

word count: 3780

ch. 1 the end of the beginning & new beginnings

No one ever expects longevity from the relationships in our youth, in fact, it would be foolish to even expect something like that. From grade school, to high school, some would even argue college; it never becomes long term.

You were always aware of that, so why did you see yourself getting married to the man you spent your high school and college years with?

A silly thought you planted in your brain; but who could blame you? He was the ideal partner. Patient, gentle, understanding, and so much more — even though you were still young and didn’t have much planned for adulthood, you made a vow to never let him go.

You loved him with every single atom you had in your body, and perhaps you still do. After all, it isn’t easy to forget about a relationship you swore would’ve lasted a lifetime if it were under different circumstances.

In all honestly, you weren’t quite sure what made you love him the way you did. Maybe it was the fact being around him just felt so.. easy. You never felt like you had to be a different person when you were with him.

To put it simply, he was the person who brought you comfort.

But even so, silly vows you make to yourself don’t really mean anything if you can’t make them a reality. Over the next few months, the happiness you thought would stay in your life forever gradually started to fade, and there was nothing you could do about it.

You know he didn't mean to fall out of love, at least that's what you wanted to believe. Not a bone in your body wanted to make him seem like a bad person, not when you still had so much love and respect for him.

Days before the breakup, you noticed he seemed a bit… different. He stopped holding your hands, stopped bringing you lunch, he couldn’t even bring himself to look you in the eyes. Yes, they were little things, yet, you still managed to notice them.

You decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, telling yourself, “Maybe studying has him preoccupied” Trying to shake off whatever insecurity you were feeling. Looking back — maybe you should’ve asked him the first day you noticed, maybe then, things would’ve worked out.

ᥫ᭡ . ˚

When you felt his hand wrap around your wrist for the first time in days, guiding you to a place where the two of you could be alone and focus on the soon-to-be conversation, you knew it was the end of the relationship you tried desperately to keep in your life.

Before he could even get a word out, you couldn’t help but notice the dryness in your throat, how your heart started to race in anticipation, and the tears in your eyes that threatened to spill.

From the look in his eyes, you could tell this was going to be the last day the two of you could call yourselves “soulmates”.

Throughout your entire relationship, you always managed to keep your composure. You knew how to keep your emotions in check, therefore, you never cried in front of your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.

– Seeing tears in your eyes for the first time broke his heart.

At that moment, he wanted to change his mind, take you in his arms, and promise he’d never let you feel this type of pain again. But despite the feeling he couldn't shake off, he knew deep within himself he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise.

And before he could change his mind, the boy finally spoke.

“(name), no matter what, I’ll always have so much love for you.” The gray-haired boy started, and as he spoke, he couldn’t help but notice the look in your eyes. The way you looked at him with such hurt and confusion made it all the more difficult for him.

“Before I say anything, you did nothing to make me feel this way” he spoke, taking your hands in his. “You’re an amazing girl, (name), you always have been and I’m sure you always will be.”

As the words left his mouth and the emotion started to become prominent in his eyes, you noticed something in the way he looked at you — despite what his mind was telling him to say, in his heart, he didn’t want to lose you, and that made it all the more gut-wrenching.

You felt so idiotic for thinking this relationship would last, but at the same time, it was such a shame to lose the person who you thought would've been a great lifelong partner.

If you were being honest with yourself, you couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.

All you wanted to do was fall to your knees and beg him to stay an eternity with you, but from the tone that laced his words, you knew he would follow through with the separation no matter what.

“You deserve so much better and I-” It was almost embarrassing how he couldn’t keep his emotions in check anymore, his voice breaking as he wiped away the forming tears from his eyes with his shoulder. “I didn’t want this to end… If anything, you were the girl I wanted to marry. The girl I wanted to spend my life with, raise a family, and die with”

The words that spilled out his mouth didn’t help in aiding your broken heart, they only made it harder and harder to keep the tears in your now glossy eyes.

Without a second thought, your mouth opened and you blurted something out. “Are you breaking up with me?” your lip quivered as your eyes scanned his face for an answer.

It was a stupid question, but it was the only thing on your mind.

The boy was caught off guard by your sudden bluntness. It was a simple yes or no question, but, by the way you spoke, it just made breaking up even harder for him.

The way you looked at him in such despair was enough for him to finally break eye contact, causing him to shift his gaze onto the ground.

Maybe it was the guilt that caused the boy to go nonverbal for a few seconds — an internal conflict between his heart and mind. You were everything he could ask for, yet, he knew he couldn’t give you everything you needed.

After what seemed like a century of waiting, with a shaky voice, six words finally fell from his mouth.

“I think we should break up..”

And there they were – the words you were dreading to hear. Before you even noticed, the tears you were desperately holding back started to fall from your eyes, streaming down your cheeks and hitting the concrete the both of you stood on.

It didn’t take long for him to notice the drops of water falling from your eyes, and once he took notice of the tears, his hand found its way to your face, his palm cupping your cheek as he wiped away your tears with his thumb.

It was as if he wasn’t the reason for the tears. As much as you wanted to scream, telling him not to touch you, to leave your sight and never talk to you again after this, you just couldn’t find it in yourself to do so.

Everything in your mind was telling yourself to hate him, to loathe his very being. Yet, despite all the hurt he was causing you at this very moment, you still couldn’t see him in a negative light.

Tear after tear fell from your eyes – It was almost pitiful. To you, it felt like you were crying for nothing. You felt stupid for being so affected by this, foolish to be this hurt over a relationship.

You were in your own little world, caught up in your thoughts, struggling to come to terms with the “sudden” breakup. Trying desperately to grasp the reality of the situation, a familiar warmth seemed to wrap around you.

The boy’s arms held you as you cried, in an attempt to calm your emotions.

In the moment, as you noticed his arms around you, it almost felt like he was trying to mock you. He had the audacity to try and provide you comfort when he was the cause of the emotional turmoil.

You stood there for a while, your hands curled into balls, and all you felt was anger. You told yourself you didn't need his sympathy.

That anger didn’t last long though, it was soon replaced with despair.

Your own arms soon wrapped around the boy’s frame as the tears from your eyes stained his shirt. You found yourself sobbing in his arms, trying to seek the comfort he would always provide for the very last time.

As your face stayed buried in the gray-haired boy’s chest, he placed his chin on top of your head as his hand rubbed your back. The sound of your muffled sobs made him feel horrible. The guilt of hurting you was unbearable, he felt like such an asshole for doing this to a sweet girl like you.

After some time, the boy finally pulled away. He looked at you for what could be the last time.

As he pulled away and looked at you, he couldn't help but lean in and press a soft kiss on your forehead, as if a silent apology for all the pain he was provoking in this very moment.

That kiss left you with a conflicting feeling. Every atom in your body wanted to feel anger, you wanted to slap him with your hardest blow. Yet, the kiss brought you unexpected comfort.

— As much as you wanted to stay in his arms for however long you could, you took a step back, wiping away your tears.

With a shaky voice, you finally spoke. “I understand” was all you managed to mumble.

He wished you could’ve said more, he hoped that you didn’t hate him and that one day you’d be able to forgive him, but he understood as well, he knew you weren't fond of talking whilst experiencing high emotions. He understood well enough to let you walk away without another word.

Maybe that was Koshi Sugawara’s biggest mistake.

ᥫ᭡ . ˚

From talking for hours on end to walking past each other in the halls.

It hurt to become so distant from someone who knew everything about you, from two people who claimed to have so much love for each other to strangers.

It felt like a mockery to see Sugawara somewhere on campus, each encounter with him was like a constant reminder of the breakup and the emotions that came with it.

You tried to avoid Koshi on campus whenever you could for your sanity, but, going to the same school made it impossible to even attempt. Enviably, you crossed paths with Koshi occasionally, and every single time you did, you felt your heart break a little.

Before you could even realize it, your mental health began to worsen as the months seemed to drag on. You couldn’t commit to your studies and found yourself slacking off on assignments. And in return, your grades began to plummet.

It started to feel almost impossible to even focus during lectures, your mind always seemed to be focused on something other than what was being said by the professors. You almost always fell asleep during your classes since you had never gotten the proper amount of sleep the previous night or couldn’t bring yourself to listen to the lecture.

A period in your life where you avoid talking about it as if mentioning it would bring death upon you. A time in your life when you were at an all-time low; skipping your lectures, laying in bed all day, neglecting your chores.

Smoking was the only thing that brought you comfort during these times. You were well aware of the risks that came with smoking, but the desperation of wanting to escape reality got to you.

But as the days turned into weeks, with the help of the people you had around you, you had found your spark again.

You had finally found yourself once again and you couldn’t be more proud of yourself. Though you weren’t proud of the addiction that came along with it, you can’t change what already had happened.

ᥫ᭡ . ˚

– Before you knew it, it was the day of your graduation.

It was more fulfilling than you had imagined, you couldn’t help but shed tears of joy. You were genuinely so proud of yourself, just a few months ago, you thought you’d never make it here.

You stood patiently as you waited for your name to be announced.

From around ten people in front of you to only one person. Soon you were next to be called on stage to finally complete this hellish nightmare you were eager to escape.

You felt your heartbeat in anticipation as your hands started to sweat, you couldn’t wait for all the opportunities that were ahead of you. You had always dreamed of opening your very own cafe with recipes you perfected.

The very second they called your name to walk on the stage, you couldn’t help but tear up. You walked up onto the stage and accepted your diploma with a smile on your face, you shook everyone’s hand and headed back to your seat.

And that’s when the realization finally hit, you were finally done with your college years; you were finally an adult.

ᥫ᭡ . ˚

An average day for you after college was inviting a friend over around the evening and having them taste and critique whatever you had made. Then, the following day you’d try again with less or more of a certain ingredient and then have your friend try it again to see what they’d say.

Baking wasn’t a cheap hobby you could just do whenever you pleased. With that understanding in mind, you took up a job as a cashier at a nearby fast food place just a walk around from your house.

It’s been like this for a few years now, and you were content with this lifestyle. Of course, there would be times when the stress of not being able to perfect something gets to you, but all it took was a cigarette to calm you down and you were back to figuring out what you should try adding to a recipe next.

Baking wasn’t much of a clean hobby either, after each session you had to clean. As you were cleaning your kitchen, reorganizing whatever was in there, you realized you were starting to run low on certain ingredients for your pastries.

Looking at the time, you realized the grocery store was about to close. Panicked, you grabbed your wallet, phone, and house keys before sprinting out the door so you could have a decent amount of time to browse the shelves.

Luckily, you made it with an hour to look around and decide if you wanted to purchase an item or buy it another time.

After almost an hour, you headed to the self-check-out, scanned your items, paid, and left the store.

Unfortunately, you didn’t own a car, so that left you to just walk from place to place. You didn’t mind though, you liked walking, it was therapeutic for you. Surrounded by the orange sky, you headed home with earbuds in both ears, playing whatever songs were in your playlist.

As you entered your neighborhood, you were more than ready to just settle down on your couch and watch the new episode of the current show you were watching. Nearing your apartment, you glanced up from your phone and nearly dropped all the bags you were holding.

Just outside of your apartment complex stood a familiar boy, seemingly looking for someone or something.

For a while, you just stood still, looking at the figure in disbelief.

And just like that, it was like you were reliving college all over again. The feelings you swore were gone and you’d never feel again suddenly came rushing back to you, hitting you like one big wave of the ocean.

“Koshi..?” You whispered to yourself as tears began to well up in your eyes. You couldn’t understand why he was outside of your building or how he knew where you lived.

You had replayed this exact scenario in your head about a million times, so why were you suddenly freezing up?

It was naive, but a part of you believed he wanted to apologize to you for what had happened in college and finally give you closure, and maybe, just maybe, rekindle the spark the two of you once had.

The cold air of the evening blew against your body as you felt your body heat up, breaking into a cold sweat, it was almost embarrassing how nervous you were getting, you hadn’t even approached him yet.

Before you could ever make the decision, he made that decision for you. The figure that stood in front of your apartment building turned to face you, and that's when you realized, it wasn’t Sugawara, but rather, a stranger.

Right then and there, that’s when you decided you couldn’t live in this city anymore.

ᥫ᭡ . ˚

Just seeing someone who resembled him in the slightest was enough to send you spiraling. Alone in your one-bedroom apartment, the only sound that filled the area was your muffled sobs.

You sat in the corner of your bedroom, knees against your chest, head down as you felt all the memories from high school up to college come rushing back to you.

The desire of wanting to escape the city that was filled with reminders of why a portion of your college years turned bitter and acting on impulse don't mix well.

After seeing that boy outside of your building just a few moments ago, you didn’t waste a second booking a one-way flight to a different city that left the next day.

It felt somewhat childish, still being bothered by things that happened to you years ago. Even so, you couldn’t stand staying in this city a day longer.

It wasn’t long after you started packing your things, saying goodbye to the place that was your home for years now. You felt emotional, and rightfully so. You had to leave your family and friends without a goodbye since this was out of the blue, but this is what you needed the most, a fresh start.

The following morning, you made your way straight to the airport, unable to stay another moment in that apartment. Without a second thought, you left your key at the front desk and left without looking back.

ᥫ᭡ . ˚

Who knew after moving out of your old city, you’d finally be able to accomplish your dream. With the help of the new people you had met, you were finally able to open your own cafe.

For the first few months that you lived in this new city, there was this feeling of uncertainty you couldn’t shake off. Maybe it was the fact you were completely isolated from everyone else.

Moving to a new city meant you had zero friends, but that issue didn’t last long. As the days passed, you eventually met people who happened to have the right skills to help you open your cafe.

Of course, starting a business isn’t a cheap investment by any means. The cost of simply purchasing the building was more than expensive. Along came interior design, painting and flooring, lighting, storage, equipment, and ingredients.

A year-long process, but it was worth the wait in your eyes.

It was a hassle and almost put you in debt, but once everything came together, you had no regrets. You were beyond proud of yourself, you never thought you’d be able to come this far; yet, here you are.

Now, the only thing that remained was the name of the cafe. Though you’ve dreamed of this moment since the day you finished college, you never thought of a name.

With the help of some friends, a name was finally decided.

Soon, “Autumn” cafe was now open to the public. Since your cafe was located in a somewhat popular location in the city, it didn’t take long for the cafe to become a success.

You felt more than accomplished, you never thought your own business would reach this amount of success in such a short amount of time.

ᥫ᭡ . ˚

It’s unexpected for the owner of a business to work in said business. But hiding in plain sight was such a clever way to monitor what was going on in the cafe.

What made it all the more fun, the people you work with don’t know you own this establishment.

It’s a great thing you weren’t present during job interviews, or else this wouldn’t have worked out for you.

You worked as the cashier in your own business, but you didn’t mind. It kept you busy and saved you money as well, it was a win-win.

ᥫ᭡ . ˚

10:27 am. It was somewhat of a slow day today, given it was a school day and most of your customers were college students. There were only 5 customers in the store right now, just enjoying the silence of the cafe and eating or drinking whatever they ordered.

You sat behind the counter reading about whatever drama was currently ongoing. Both your earbuds were plugged in so you couldn't hear whether or not someone came in, but you didn’t care. Rarely anyone came in at this time anyway.

You enjoyed days were work was slow, and you & your coworkers could relax once and a while, you guys enjoyed these moments whenever they were given.

As you were scrolling, you noticed someone come up to the counter from your peripheral vision. “Welcome, how could I help you?” You said as you took off your earbuds and placed your phone back into your bag.

Without looking up, you waited patiently for the person to voice out their order so you could punch it in the register. After what seemed to be a minute, the person still hadn’t said anything.

“Maybe they’re browsing through the menu,” You said, still not looking up. But after what seemed like another minute passing by, you finally lifted your eyes to see what the person behind the counter was up to.

As your eyes found their way to the person in front of you, you felt your heart drop to your stomach as you realized who it was that stood just in front of you.

Koshi?

#haikyu x reader #anime fanfic #fanfic #haikyuu sugawara #haikyuu #haikyu fluff #karasuno #haikyuu time skip #sugawara x reader #sugawara kōshi #hq sugawara #angst #soft angst #haikyu fanfiction

50 notes · View notes

aerisssblog · 1 year ago

Text

"Promise to find me" - (Lucifer x MC)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tags : Angst, Tears, Gnreader

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This rose color is so beautiful," MC picked one of the red roses and smelled it while smiling at Lucifer. "Just like your eyes."

Lucifer sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "You're always like this, MC. Stubborn and never listening to me."

MC chuckled. "So, you hate me?"

"You know that's not what I mean," Lucifer cut off MC's words. "You know how much I love you. You know how much I adore you. You know how much I'm afraid of losing you." Tears flowed down Lucifer's cheeks despite his cold expression.

Lucifer closed his eyes. "You know how much... how much I miss you." The tears continued to flow, and Lucifer fell to his knees, sobbing. This was the first time he had ever broken down like this since becoming a fallen angel.

MC lifted up Lucifer's chin and softly caressed his cheek. Lucifer held MC's cold hand and pressed it against his cheek, like a puppy missing its owner. "Why... Why did you leave? Are you still mad, aren't you? Are you still mad about what happened back then at the Reaper's cave? I'm sorry... I'm really sorry."

Lucifer began crying like a baby and tightly gripped MC's hands, not wanting to let them go. "I promise I won't do it again. What do you want? Money? Jewels? Power? Anything, I'm willing to give you."

Lucifer brought MC's hand to his chest. "You can even kill me. You can hate me as much as you want. You can despise me, but please... please don't abandon me. Please don't leave me. You should stay by my side, even if it's painful. I'm begging you..."

MC smiled warmly. "And you know, Lucifer, that no matter what you do, no matter how many times you hurt me, I always forgive you."

MC wiped away the tears and gently kissed Lucifer's eyelids. Lucifer closed his eyes, feeling the tender kisses. Gradually, he felt as if nothing was there. When he looked up, he saw rose petals and a radiant light surrounding MC. It seemed as though MC was slowly fading.

Desperately, he tried to grab MC's hand once more, but it was futile. He couldn't touch it, couldn't feel it anymore. Lucifer cried out and begged loudly.

“Please I need you too! Not only him! Not only the ‘future’ me!”

“Find me Lucifer”, MC spoke while gazing into Lucifer tears’s eyes. “Promise to find me and brought me back here. Back to you. Back to our family”.

Lucifer get up slowly and looking at MC. “You dont have to ask. I will. Ill brought you back no matter what happen even though I have to pay it with my life. Once I find your soul, dont you ever think to dissapear again.”.

MC smiled, and for one last time, they touched Lucifer's face, even though it passed through their hand. "I love you, my Lucifer."

“I love you too, my MC”

#obey me #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me nightbringer #obey me simeon #obey me shall we date #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me angst #shall we date obey me #obey me fluff #obey me headcanons

174 notes · View notes

malebodyexhibit · 2 years ago

Text

Haunting Desire

I snapped a photo of myself just like the website described. There appeared to be nothing paranormal about myself, yet I felt a chill tickle the nape of my neck.

It’s been over a month since my girlfriend and I moved into this apartment. We were attempting to be adults, and sure, we’re just at the drinking age, so technically we were, but we wanted to be self sufficient. So much for that: we both didn’t have jobs nor did we bother with college; we lived off our family’s wealth. This just caused us problems. We were bored. She went out with friends. I tried hanging out with my friends, but I never clicked with them, so when something seemed off with our apartment, I felt more interested in solving that mystery than being with my friends.

It started with smalls things. It started before we even moved into the apartment. While touring the place, I stepped into the living area and was startled by the wide window staring out into the city. I’ve lived in places with better vistas, but something pulled me in. It felt warm and familiar. I sank into the couch left by the previous occupants and closed my eyes. It wasn’t until the apartment manager tapped me wake that I realized I had been alone on the couch. I shook off the feeling that I had been beside a person. As we continued to tour the place, I kept glancing at the living area, often I mistook a passing bird’s shadow for a person. When we came to the master bedroom, the same familiar warmth crept over me, but it deepened and I pulled myself away. I thought it was just nerves. Nonetheless I decided to place an offer.

Gradually odd things happened more and more. Cabinets opened; clothes were pulled out from laundry hampers; cologne that was not my own filled the air; knocks at the door; and a warm, breathy nuzzling of my neck in the morning. It was odd enough, but I started dreaming.

In a common dream, I enter the living area and walk over to the couch. On the couch was someone I loved. It felt beyond love because looking at them filled me with warmth. Cuddling with them on the couch seemed easy. Easier than it was to be with my girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong. I loved her. But, doesn’t it feel like that was just how it’s supposed to be? Like you didn’t have any other choice? That it just felt like it was the best fit for you? Well, the dream lasted until the person I held seemed to melt from my arms, and I grew colder, colder as if feeling a draft, and watching them fade beyond the door.

I’d wake up and find tears in my eyes. I often tried to hold my girlfriend, but the warmth was just bodily. It didn’t seem to warm the whole of me.

Eventually, I found myself sleep walking and waked on the couch, holding a pillow. Then the dreams seemed to happen while I was awake.

I often workout at home. I had my own workout equipment. So as I was working up a sweat and pumping my arms, I felt myself pull back. Like I dissociated from myself. I watched myself continue the workout. I felt myself breathing and the strain of my body pushing itself. Then it was like someone in my body was aware it was there. They stopped the workout and held my arms to their eyes, turning it around, checking out the biceps, triceps, and the veins on my body. They tentatively touch my abs and traced the creases of my pecs. Then I felt myself come back. And I was in control again.

Each time I feel myself pull back, someone seems to take control and I watch them ride my body. I also get a “taste” of their memory or feelings.

One time, while I was cooking dinner for my girlfriend, I felt myself pull back. The person in me started to expertly chop onions, garlic, then sautéed the ingredients. Soon the kitchen smelled wonderful. I heard my girlfriend walking up behind me and the person in me turned, and I, for some reason, expected to see a burly man with a beer in hand, but only saw my girlfriend.

I couldn’t explain why I was disappointed. The image of the man was fresh in my mind. They were someone this person in me loved. I could imagine myself in the man’s arms. I could imagine the feeling of my cheek against their hairy chest. I could imagine him nuzzling my neck as I slept. But I could also see them leaving.

When I saw my girlfriend and not the man of my literal dreams, I felt myself being thrusted back in control. And that’s when I noticed a pattern. I was only controlled when I did things the other... person did. They worked out, they cooked, and they wanted comfort. But when something I did that they didn’t do, then I got control back.

The dreams intensified, and I honestly enjoyed it. I think that was when I figured I might have something more in common with... this person. Growing up in a conservative state, I was told that I only had one option: Get married then have children. So I didn’t realize that I might like guys. As I continued to dream of this guy who held me and kissed me, I found I enjoyed it more and more. That’s when I saw my own reflection in a dream. I looked pretty similar: white, black-haired, young male who worked out but was still skinny. I looked good. Or he looked good.

I assumed the person in my skin had died and lived in this apartment before I moved in. It’s a strange sensation to realize you’re being possessed by a ghost, but I enjoyed the company in a strange way. For so long, I felt alone. Even when I thought I was in love, I had really just been living in a lie. Now that I saw a truer version of myself, I wanted to express it and share it.

I found out his name was Ethan. I found out when his boyfriend of five years wrapped his arms around me in a dream and whispered his name in my ear. Ethan was around my age and had died suddenly in an accident. His boyfriend must have left shortly after. I couldn’t imagine his heart break.

Now Ethan took me over, usually while I slept, and explored my body. I “woke” while I was stroking one out to pictures of guys. I also woke while working out. My sleep schedule became so erratic that my girlfriend was concerned. So I decided to finally come out to her.

I was terrified and I wanted Ethan to work it through with me, but when I finally said the words, “I’m gay,” I felt on my own. Yet I felt him nearby.

The breakup was messy. In the process I had awkward conversations with family and friends. I would still get money from family, but it was strained love at best. My friends seemed to drop out of my life except for a few. One of my friends even expressed an interest, but I was terrified to do anything.

So I made Ethan help me.

I invited him over and to calm my nerves I had a shot or two of hard liquor. I closed my eyes and imagined Ethan’s boyfriend. And just like that I felt myself lose control. Ethan seemed to see my friend as his former lover.

The ghost in my body took my friend by the waist and pulled him in for a kiss. He trailed along his neck and down his chest. The whole time I watched and celebrated this new found sexual excitement. As Ethan kissed each ab, he brought his hands around his cock. I watched as Ethan started to suck and stroke it. My friend moaned and grabbed my hair. He was gasping as Ethan sucked deeper and brought his fingers to my friend’s hole. I could feel each sensation from the taste, the hard cock, and the tightening warmth around my fingers.

When we finished, my friend held my body and the ghost and I within savored the company. But it didn’t last. After a couple more hook ups, Ethan had said the L-word. “I love you,” he said after a night of rough fucking. My friend had his arms around us, but upon hearing “love” he pulled back and stammered an excuse. I felt myself thrusted into control and I tried to fix it.

“I didn’t mean it! It just slipped out!” I said, almost in tears at having this new comfort taken away from me.

“Sorry, I can’t. I thought we both knew this was a hook up. I’m not looking to date guys,” my friend said before leaving.

I was devastated, but when I no longer felt Ethan in me or around me, that’s when I broke down in sobs.

It had been days since I felt Ethan and I was getting desperate for his company, his possession of me. It was the only time I felt cared for and brave enough to be me.

So I looked up shady websites about ghosts and found one about how to detect ghosts. You take a picture of yourself and look for orbs. And that’s what I did, but as you can see from the first picture I took, there was nothing.

But as you now understand, there is a world of ghosts out there. Ghosts that probably want a hot body to go into, to use, and I’m a guy who wants to be used. If I can’t have Ethan in me, then maybe I should find another ghost who could fill me up and make me whole.

#possession #male body possession #male takeover #male body exhibit #ghost possession #body possession

487 notes · View notes

lizardaggro · 9 months ago

Text

the pulse of death, prologue 1

alrighty guys, here it is! vampire!twst au!!! please don't make fun of the title i'm sensitive about it... in any case, you'll notice from the title that this is just part one of the prologue. that's because this sucker is gonna be long af, and you're just gonna have to deal.

genre: gn!reader, will include romance, fluff, and angst down the line tw: none so far. yay! wc:3133

Twas an ordinary day, much like any other. After arriving home from your daily responsibilities, more than ready to mindlessly read fanfiction on your phone. You collapsed onto bed, looking for something to occupy the time until you were ready to fall asleep. Insomnia was something that had plagued you off and on for years; it became much less of an issue once you became an adult and were able to set your own schedule, but still. It wasn’t like it was predictable when you’d be able to embrace the night at last, either, but you managed somehow.

If asked what time it was when you were finally graced with a deep slumber, you couldn’t say. Perhaps it gradually crept up on you, so that you didn’t have the chance to notice. You didn’t remember your dreams, you never did. At some wee hour of the morning, you were awoken by who knows what, a haze still clouding your mind. You couldn’t recall if you’d brushed your teeth or not before you knocked out, so you made your way to the bathroom. Neglecting to flip the light switch due to the soft glow of the nightlight you couldn’t sleep without, you glanced at your reflection in the mirror.

Much to your surprise, instead of your own reflection, you saw a rather odd face staring back at you. It didn’t have much color to it, quite literally, but there was a bright green mist floating around it. Okay. This was fine. You must still be dreaming. It was then that the mirror-face-thing began to speak. Its voice was deep and ominous, but for some odd reason, you didn’t feel frightened. This was only a dream after all, wasn’t it?

“Oh, lovely and noble flower of evil. Magic mirror, tell me, who is the fairest of them all?” it? intoned. “O, one who has been guided by the Mirror of Darkness. Take the hand reflected in the mirror, and never, ever let go.”

As if right on cue, a ghastly hand appeared in the mirror. But it didn’t stop there, reaching beyond the mirror’s bounds and extending toward your form. You shivered as you felt its cold touch. You faintly heard the sound of horses braying in the distance, and perhaps hooves on pavement. There wasn’t much of a chance to register what that could mean, though, as your consciousness began to fade.

When you awoke again, your memories of what had happened were blurry at best. Everything was dark, and the surface you were lying on was hard. Were you going insane, or were you stood upright somehow? Wanting to better understand your predicament, you lifted your arms to feel around you. You were quickly able to determine that you were in a box of some kind. Now that certainly wasn’t ominous at all.

You didn’t have to ponder your fate for long, though, as you heard a voice from somewhere outside. “Hngh, gotta find some clothes so I can fit in,” they mumbled, as if they didn’t expect anyone to hear. It was a slightly nasally sort of voice, almost inhuman in a way. “Stupid coffins won’t open.” Wait, coffins? “Fnyaa, take that! The Great Grim’s special fire blast!” the voice shouted.

The gears in your brain began to turn, processing what that could mean. You had your answer sooner than you would’ve liked, as your little box began to become uncomfortably hot. Too hot. The lid blew off with a little ‘pop,’ and you were able to see at last.

You were in a grand room, with a medieval sort of theme to its décor, and rather dim lighting. There were floating coffins all along the walls, and you quickly surmised that you must’ve been in one as well. Then you turned your attention to the person in front of you. At least, you had assumed it was a person, but it appeared you were mistaken.

“…a cat?” you let out without quite realizing. The creature who’d freed you from that box was indeed a cat, with gray fur, and rather curiously, blue flames licking at its ears. It had a pitchfork-shaped tip for a tail, and a gray-and-white striped scrap of cloth around its neck, reminiscent of a collar.

“Hnngh, the Great Grim is not a cat!” it said. Because of course, the cat could talk. Why not, you supposed, when you had no idea how you’d gotten here and there were objects blatantly defying gravity in the background. “Now, give me your clothes!” it? demanded. You weren’t sure of the cat’s gender; the voice sounded vaguely male-inclined, but one could never be sure.

“I beg your pardon?” you asked, stunned. What use would a not-cat have for human clothes? It was plain to see they wouldn’t fit, and you didn’t think your fashion sense was that revolutionary. Though the fabric did feel a bit different than you were used to, smoother and softer, as if it were made of silk or the like.

You took the opportunity to give yourself a once-over and gasped in shock. You were most certainly not wearing what you had fallen asleep in. You donned a black hooded robe, with golden embroidery and royal purple detailing. You patted yourself down; it seemed you still had your old clothes on underneath, but your pockets were empty, no phone to be found.

“You won’t hand them over? Then I’ll just have to take them from you!” Grim, you assumed that was its name, shouted as it began chasing you, spitting fire from its mouth. Of course, you did what any individual of sound mind would do, and ran for your life. You still didn’t know how you’d ended up here, and there was no way you were going to keel over and die without finding out.

You dashed through corridor after corridor, until you found yourself in a room that resembled a library. Except, naturally, a number of books were hovering in the air, as well as the lanterns that lit the room. In awe at the silent beauty of the ambience, you momentarily forgot your life-threatening situation and gazed around.

You were interrupted soon enough, because Grim was on a mission and had no manners. “You can’t escape the Great Grim! Now hand them over!” Your eyes widened; you had no plan to save yourself in this moment, nowhere to run to. You shut your eyes tight, expecting the pain of being burned to death. But it never came.

When you opened an eye to survey the situation, you saw something rather… questionable. Grim had been bound by a whip of some sort, and was squirming against their restraints. Sure, they’d inadvertently tried to kill you, and allegedly weren’t a cat, but wasn’t this some sort of animal cruelty? Were they even an animal if they breathed fire?

“Fnyaa, what is this?! Let me go!!” Grim demanded. You weren’t expecting it, but a reply came from who knows where. “Ah, ‘tis my Lash of Love!” a voice exclaimed rather flamboyantly. Soon the speaker stepped into view. They were a rather tall individual, adorned with a mask with a beak shape on it. Their voice did indeed match their appearance, which you could only describe as some sort of obnoxiously accessorized medieval cosplay. It went with the building, you supposed.

The person then turned to you. It felt like their piercing yellow eyes saw right through you. “You there, you really must learn to keep your familiar in check- hmm? How peculiar. Pray tell, just what is a human doing here?” they inquired, which only served to confuse you further. What was a familiar? Why would you being a human be odd?

“Um, sir? I don’t want to assume anything though… Well, I’m not sure what you mean exactly,” you began hesitantly, fidgeting with your hands behind your back. “I just woke up inside a coffin in this big room, and then Grim came and blew the lid off and started demanding I give them my clothes. Was I kidnapped. Is this a cult? Where is this? I’m so confused…”

“A cult?” The individual snorted, puffing out their chest. “Certainly not. You may address me as Sir Dire Crowley, and I am the headmaster of this prestigious institution, Night Raven College. I would assume that the ride from the Ebony Carriage had addled your brain, but I do not recall allowing the admission of a human. How odd… Perhaps it was the will of the Dark Mirror?” He mused to himself. You had no idea what any of that meant, other than that this place was a school that Crowley ran.

The man stared off into space, thinking, for a while. Then he seemed to have a little ‘aha!’ moment and began speaking again. You could only listen intently, hoping to glean any sort of information that might be relevant to your situation. “Well then. Since the Dark Mirror has willed it, we have no choice but to oblige. You will remain here at Night Raven College. Only time will tell what secrets your mortal form may be hiding. Ahh, aren’t I so generous?” he preened. You’d begun to have a rather positive impression of Crowley, aside from the whole ‘lash of love’ comment, but that was crashing and burning now.

You had so many questions, but Crowley clearly had his own agenda, and you doubted he’d answer any of them. He spun dramatically on his heel and gestured toward the exit, still dragging Grim behind him. “Come along now, the entrance ceremony has already begun. We wouldn’t want to miss your debut into vampire society, now would we?” The fuck? Did he just say vampire? As in the supernatural creatures people on the internet simped for like no other? This was turning out to be quite the adventure.

You got the impression he really didn’t care what you thought though, so you just shuffled along behind him, doing your best to calm your nerves. First order of business: make sure you weren’t actually dreaming. You slapped your hands to your cheeks, shoujo-anime style, and to your surprise as much as your disappointment, it hurt. You weren’t dreaming. Probably. Second, uh, what came second? Not dying, probably. Yes, that was important.

Sooner rather than later, as much as you dragged your feet, you arrived at your destination: the room you’d initially awoken in. Only this time, the floating coffins were empty, and the room was jam-packed with people. You took a moment to consider if this was some sort of elaborate prank, but then you remembered the terror you’d felt when running from Grim. The fire they’d spat out had been very much real.

Scanning over the crowd, several hooded figures, all wearing the same robes they were, stood out to them the most. It was a varied group in every way, and you could almost swear one of them had cat ears, like those cosplay accessories some people wore. Whatever, you weren’t judging. Crowley looked weirder, in your not-so-humble opinion. They were all on an elevated platform of some sort, likely indicating a position of authority. If this was really a school and not a cult, maybe they were the student council?

“Headmaster Crowley, where were you?” the shortest one of the bunch inquired. “We had to start the ceremony without you.” Oops. That was your fault, you supposed. It wasn’t like you could help it though, and technically Grim was to blame more than anyone. You just hoped no one would be too mad.

“Ah, yes, I had to take a bit of a detour. One of the new students had managed to escape their coffin, and their familiar went on a bit of a rampage,” Crowley explained, not looking the least bit apologetic. You could feel all the eyes in the room turn to you, and you pulled your hood down lower in response. You didn’t know how much of that vampire nonsense was true, but you really didn’t care to be sussed out as a human or an outsider.

“Very well,” the diminutive person replied. “As long as we can wrap things up now.” “Yes, of course, Mr. Riddle. Now then,” he turned to you, “Step in front of the Dark Mirror and say your name.” You weren’t too sure what this ‘dark mirror’ was, but quickly figured it to be the giant mirror in the middle of the room. Who would’ve guessed? Following instructions, you took your place in front of it and stared straight ahead.

There was a face in the mirror, surrounded by an eerie mist. It seemed vaguely familiar somehow, but you couldn’t quite place it. Even more so than Mr. Crow Man, it felt as if it knew something about yourself lost even to you. You stated your name, not wanting to be the center of all this attention any longer. What that was supposed to do you didn’t know, but the face hummed, as if it were thinking about something.

“This one is suited for no dormitory,” it stated at last. Ah, so the purpose of this strange ritual was to be some sort of rip-off Sorting Hat. Go figure. But what did it mean that you were rejected? “Their soul is clear and polished, not like the rest. And they possess no magic, not a drop.”

Well no fucking duh! Of course you weren’t going to suddenly develop magical powers just because you’d been kidnapped straight out of your bed! But you could hardly say that now. If these people really did have some sort of inhuman abilities, pissing them off was the last thing you wanted to do. It was better to keep your mouth shut and play along for now.

One could hear a pin drop in the room after the mirror’s declaration. It seems no one knew how to respond. Even Crowley appeared to be stumped; you’d assumed he expected you to have more to you than meets the eye, but you were one-hundred percent certain you were just an ordinary, human, college student.

“Ahaha,” Crowley’s nervous laughter cut through the silence like a knife. “Come now, child, we’ll discuss this matter further in my office.” With that, he grabbed you by the arm and began to unceremoniously drag you out of the room. Now you knew how Grim felt.

Speaking of Grim, it appeared they were finally tired of being dragged along. With a burst of bright blue flame, they broke through their restraints and began shouting fervently. “If that human doesn’t have any magic, then make me a student instead! The Great Grim will show you just how powerful he is!” he exclaimed, spitting fire all around the room.

Everything quickly devolved into chaos after that. You weren’t there to bear witness to it though, as someone gently took you by the arm and escorted you straight out of that mess. You were grateful, sure, but also very confused. You knew it wasn’t Crowley; that man likely couldn’t care less about your safety. Was it one of the students then?

Once safely in the outside corridor, you turned to verify the identity of your rescuer. He was a personable individual, that much was true. You were pretty sure he was too old to still be in school, but then again, people could start college whenever they chose. His hair was quite fascinating all on its own. It was mostly white, but where it parted off to one side, it was black, making for quite the contrast. That couldn’t be natural. He wasn’t wearing the same robes as everyone else either. That left you utterly confused as to who you were dealing with.

The man eyed you up and down, likely judging. “Hmm. I thought I’d caught the scent of a human on campus, but I didn’t think I’d be correct. Come with me, pup, and I’ll get you all straightened out.” That was it. No introduction, no explanation, nothing. But you went with him anyway. What choice did you have? At least he didn’t yank you like Crowley had.

The mystery man led you into what appeared to be an office of sorts, though there was some sort of giant metal pot in the center of the room. Because nothing could be normal here. He motioned for you to have a seat in one of the plush armchairs opposite the spacious desk. You obliged, more than happy to give your legs a rest after all that running.

Your savior took a seat at the desk, which you assumed was his. Perhaps he was a teacher here. That would make sense. He gazed at you for a moment, likely contemplating something. You returned his stare, not wanting to let your nerves show. You were well aware of your position here, and you were not about to make yourself any more vulnerable than you already were.

Finally, after a few tense moments, he began to speak. “I believe an introduction is in order. I am Divus Crewel, professor of alchemy here at Night Raven College. Since our dear headmaster has declined to do so, I will see to it that your needs are met while you remain here,” he explained. “I’m sure you’ve noticed by now, but Crowley is utterly unreliable. As such, you should come to me whenever you have a problem, pup.”

You nodded along, shocked that someone was actually willing to help you instead of dragging you along or outright attacking you. You could get used to this. It would be good to have an ally here in this unfamiliar place. You wouldn’t completely bare your heart to the man, of course, but this was a start.

“Thank you, Professor Crewel. I was wondering if you’d be willing to answer a few questions for me, actually.” A few was a bit of an understatement, but you’d try to keep it to the essentials out of respect for his time. He gave the impression that he was a busy man.

“Go on, pup. I’m sure you have plenty of things to be curious about,” Crewel offered with a wave of his hand. You were grateful for his understanding. Crowley hadn’t exactly done a great job of explaining. That is to say, all you knew was that this was a school. “Um, first of all, what’s this about vampires?” Wow, way to get straight to the point. It had been your intention to ask more general questions about what was going to happen to you and if you could go home, but it just slipped out somehow. But as Crewel narrowed his eyes, you got a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that curiosity may have just killed the cat.

#twst vampire!au #twst vampire au #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland grim #dire crowley #divus crewel

84 notes · View notes

cheezeybread · 5 months ago

Note

American McGee Alice anon, back at it again [if I keep this up, I might label myself something cheesy like "Anon McGee." How does that sound?]

I was going to gather more to send your way regarding the topic of the last request, but I couldn't actually put much together today. So, instead, I'm delivering some potentially mildly incoherent ramblings and a lot of creative freedom to take them wherever you'd like.

I'm thinking especially of something along the lines of- likely post Riddle Overblot- a gradual shift into the MadAlice Reader becoming more genuinely comfortable with everyone in Heartslaybyul as they begin to create a differentiation between them and that which hurt them in the previous mental wonderland they'd retreated to.

Obviously there's still plenty of Rocky moments to be had- just because they're comfortable doesn't mean all will always be well- but overall, I'm just thinking of a bit of a fluffy-ish scenario that encapsulates the reader growing closer to the students of Heartslaybyul. Maybe hurt/comfort at best, but still comfort nonetheless.

Again, take as many creative liberties as you want here, I'm doing my best to balance being vague enough to allow wiggle room but also trying not to keep too many details out to the point it's just entirely unclear, lmao.

YEAAHHHH ANON MCGEE BACK AT IT AGAIN! Totally start calling yourself that now, it has such a silly ring to it!

Don't worry, I totally got you (unless I don't oops), so have this little sucker of a one-shot! I haven't written very many comfort fics lately, so I might be a taddddd rusty, sorry!

𝐅𝐭: 𝐑𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞, 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐲, 𝐀𝐜𝐞, 𝐃𝐞𝐮𝐜𝐞, 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫

..••°°°°••..

You had woken up sooner, rather than later, to the relief of the entire Heartslabyul dorm. But no one was more relieved than Riddle.

As soon as you woke up, Riddle was there, leaning his head down to read out of a thick textbook. You almost didn't recognize him at first...he wasn't wearing the attire you normally saw him in. Instead of the crown and wonderland-esque uniform, he had on a shirt that looked to be a size too big, and a baggy pair of sweatpants.

You sat up slowly, the movement sending a dull throb through your back. Geez, how long were you out? The shuffling of the bed made Riddle's head jerk up, and the tension on his face faded as soon as he saw your eyes opening.

"You...you're awake," He said, his voice in a whisper.

You couldn't think of what to say to this guy who was practically a stranger to you, so you made a small "mhmm" back.

Riddle looked back down to his textbook before closing it softly, setting it down on the ground beneath his chair. He took his time before looking back up at you, his gaze focused on your shoulder rather than your eyes.

"I wanted to say that I'm...sorry," He started, a bit awkwardly. One of his hands reached down to his sweatpants, idly pulling at the fabric "For everything. I wasn't very kind to you, which went against one of the rules of the-" He stopped himself, furrowing his brows "I mean, it wasn't nice of me. And I knew that you had some...issues with our dorm. But yet, because of me, you kept having to be dragged back there. Even though I could tell how much it was hurting you."

Riddle sat up a bit straighter, taking a deep breath before continuing "I was....wrong. It was wrong of me to treat you like I did, and I was wrong about so much other stuff, too. The Quee- sorry, her rules aren't everything, and since my accident, I've come to understand that the person with the most power isn't necessarily the most right, much less the most righteous ruler there could be." He folded his hands in his lap "I know that you have issues, I can see the burns on what little parts of your skin show. I hear from Ace, from Cater, everyone who's seen you, that you have something happening. Some sort of paranoia. And I cannot express how deeply apologetic I am for playing into your fear."

You swallowed thickly, trying your best not to remember the events that transpired just before you blacked out. You tried not to see the malice and hatred in Riddle's eyes now that you had seen before. But it was hard. "M'kay," was all you could manage.

"I won't disrespect you by demanding you tell me what's going on, or what had happened to you in the past," Riddle continued "I only wish for you to help me act better, for you to tell me how I can help. I wish to improve myself, and my dorm, to become a place where you can rest easier than you have in the past. Or, if you'd rather be left alone by us entirely throughout your stay at this school, I can do my best to ensure my students won't get in your way in the slightest."

He...he actually wanted to help you? After all that happened, after all that he himself went through as well? The thought brought a small smile to your face, and you reached out a shaky hand, resting it on top of Riddle's head

"That sounds nice."

Riddle gave a small smile in return, his relief palpable. He had expected you to blow up in anger, based on how he acted. To see you holding no ill will towards him was more than he could hope for. He stood up quickly, nodding his head towards you in a professional manner, before he walked out of the room.

It wasn't until a week later that you realized he had not worn his uniform so that you wouldn't panic at the sight of him.

★・・・・・・★

Things were slowly getting better. For real this time.

It wasn't easy, but no recovery ever should be. But with some baby steps, you were on your way to a better place, mentally and emotionally. You could tell that Riddle was healing alongside you, which made the path to happiness a little more rewarding.

You never did tell the Heartslabyul dorm what had happened to you in detail. Only offhandedly mentioned your scars coming from a house-fire. And they never asked for any more information, despite their intense curiosity that you could feel oozing out of them with every glance towards you. You suspected this was mainly because of Riddle's influence over them. You were grateful for it.

Speaking of, Riddle kept his word, true and deep.

You gave a text everytime that you were about to come over to their dorm, and Riddle would instruct his student to change into their loungewear, even if they were in the midst of doing work. He told Ace and Deuce, knowing that the two of them were around you more often, to warn you when there was an Unbirthday party at their property, so they could, in turn, warn you.

He even asked if you'd like them to wear makeup over the card symbols on their skin. It was an enticing offer, since the symbols still made your heart sink every time you noticed them...but you denied it. You had to learn to deal with some things, or else you may not heal fully. Besides, Riddle and the others were bending over backwards for you as it was, it would be unfair for you to make an obscenely large amount of demands of them.

You cooked with Trey, who always made a habit of telling you when he needed a "hand in the kitchen", even though you knew he'd be better off without your held. The two of you would talk about anything under the sun, except for cards, parties, and painting roses red. And in the end, you would get a slice of whatever dessert you two whipped up.

You went on walks with Cater, who kept you up-to-date on the latest trends and scandals going on both in school and in the world around you. He always found some silly story to make the two of you cackle and howl, and eventually, the conversations would drift from real-life stories to fantastical tales involving dragons, knights, and magical geese who could blow up the world with a single honk! They weren't the best made-up tales, but you two had fun with them.

You played games with Ace and Deuce, who were both masters at trying to one-up the other. Sometimes they would get caught in a prank war between each other, and each one would recruit you to prank the other, which led in a lot of back-and-forth banters and ended with them laughing about how you "betrayed" them by joining the enemy's side. Sometimes they would teach you how to play video games, and sometimes you would play a lame version of basketball with the mediocre players.

And you would hang around Riddle while he studied in the library. In return for your company, he would tell you stories about his own life- keeping careful watch of what he said so that he wouldn't slip and begin talking about the Queen- about his mother, his unhappy childhood, and how he had struggled throughout his life with feelings of being inadequate unless he was at the top of the list in anything and everything. He found comfort in telling his secrets, and it almost made you want to tell him yours. But he never asked to hear yours, and in the end, you were content to keep your own secrets.

You were getting better, day by day.

°°••....••°°

#twst #twst fanfic #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst x reader #riddle rosehearts #deuce spade #cater diamond #ace trappola #trey clover #McGee's McThoughts

31 notes · View notes

jujitto · 1 year ago

Text

𝟥 : 𝟦𝟧 𝖯𝖬 💭 沈泉锐

𝗌𝗁𝖾𝗇 ׂ ۪ 𝗋𝗂𝖼𝗄𝗒 ⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ genre ۪ ׂ ۪angst & 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿 ⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ cw ۪ ׂ ۪mentions of death of a family member ⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ wc ۪ ׂ ۪𝟩𝟨𝟫 ⭒ ۪ ׂ ۪ rq 𝟦 ۪ ׂ ۪ @hannahhbahng

9:34 PM, how long have you been sitting here? You couldn’t help but wonder. The tears streamed down your face, not stopping anytime soon. As much as you wanted to stop crying, you couldn’t. It was pointless. Sitting there lost in thoughts, you couldn’t help but ponder the amount of time that had passed.

How long had you been sitting here alone staring at the photos, the one thing you had left, the one thing you had left of them? You didn’t even get to say goodbye. You couldn’t even remember the last time you saw them. Some part of you still didn’t believe that they were gone, that this was all real. The weight of their absence pressed heavily on your heart, making it ache with every beat. Memories flooded your mind, each one like a bittersweet melody playing in the depths of your soul.

The room around you seemed to blur as your gaze remained fixed on those photographs, capturing moments frozen in time. The smiles, the laughter, the shared experiences – they all felt like distant echoes now. Your fingers brushed over the edges of the images, tracing the contours of their faces as if trying to etch their presence back into reality.

“Y/N?” As the soft voice called your name, you looked up to find Ricky standing at the doorway, concern etched on his face. How could you forget? He was probably searching high and low for you all over the apartment. Your poor boyfriend.

Ricky's eyes met yours, and he took a step closer, his expression a mix of empathy and worry. "Hey," he said gently, his voice a soothing melody that reached the depths of your turmoil. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Are you okay?"

You tried to offer him a faint smile, but your lips quivered, betraying the façade you were trying to maintain. Ricky walked over and knelt down beside you, his warmth enveloping you like a comforting embrace. He reached out and wiped away a tear that had slipped down your cheek. “I-I wish you could’ve met them.” Your words echoed through the quiet room as Ricky smiled, sadly, and yet glad to hear those words from you.

“I wish I could've too.” He says as you look down at the photo in your hand. Wanting to give everything to have them back with you, here with you. Your hand clutched tight to his shirt as he held you close. He held onto you, his embrace a shelter from the pain that was ripping apart your heart. You leaned into him, the scent of his cologne and the warmth of his body comfort that made the ache seem just a little more bearable.

In a world that seemed to be spinning out of control, his arms were the one constant that kept you grounded. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat was a reassuring presence that brought a sense of stability to your fractured world.

You weren't sure how long you stayed there, but the ache in your chest gradually faded as the minutes passed by. Ricky remained by your side, his presence a source of strength and solace. It was something you couldn't take for granted.

He didn't say much, but then again, he didn't have to. His mere presence was enough to remind you that you weren't alone. That no matter how much it hurt, there were people who cared for you, who would be there for you. That was Ricky for you, your pillar of support, a source of hope in your darkest hour.

After what seemed like an eternity, Ricky pulled away, gently cupping your face in his hands. He gazed at you, his expression filled with so much love and concern, that it brought a lump to your throat.

"It's getting late, we should probably get some rest," he murmured. You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat as you stood up. Ricky wrapped his arm around your shoulders, holding you close. As the two of you left the room, the empty apartment greeted you like a silent tomb, the walls echoing the emptiness that now filled your life.

Ricky stopped and turned towards you, his gaze filled with understanding. "Don't worry," he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. "We'll get through this. Together."

You nodded, the ache in your chest easing at his words. It may not be the end, but the pain is only temporary. The memory of them will live on forever. You knew that, and deep down, you knew it would be okay, especially with Ricky by your side.

103 notes · View notes

rea-grimm · 1 year ago

Note

Hello there I hope your doing well so I saw that request are open .So I thought request somthing, I would love to request female reader x shanks x ben but as friends.

Hope your day is going good!

Hi there, thank you and I hope, you have a good day too. And I hope you enjoy the story.

Werewolf Shanks x Reader x Incubus Benn - as friends

When you joined Red Hair Pirates, you, Benn, and Shanks immediately hit it off. Of course, you were accepted by the entire crew, who became your new family.

You had a crush on Benn in the beginning, but it gradually faded. You had no idea why, but you were very attracted to him. Only later did you find out that Benn was an incubus. Therefore, there was a strong aura around him that attracted others to him.

It might be a consolation to you that most of the crew went through it involuntarily too. Over time, as you got used to it, you stopped feeling it.

You got along perfectly with the crew, but you got along the most with Benn and Shanks. You were more calm and dependable. On the other hand, you easily managed to keep up with their exuberant mood and drinking, when you were the only one left at the table while the others were already rolling on the floor and dozing contentedly.

Since Benn was an incubus, on long voyages without food, he became increasingly hungry and without energy. However, even though he was in such a miserable state, he didn't show it.

Not once did you think, seeing him like this, that in the worst-case scenario, you would offer yourself to him. Even though you knew very well what that would mean.

However, Benn smiled at you before replying that he would never want such a thing from you. He didn't say he didn't want you, but you were part of the crew and thus the family.

Instead, you helped him a little differently. When you anchored on the island and settled in the pub, you observed people here and there. When there was someone who could match Benn, you went to them, each time with something different, and non-violently led them to the demon, who took care of the rest.

When you were sitting in a place where people passed you by, every time a really pretty girl walked by, or a girl with something striking, you shoved Benn and Shanks. You then admired them together.

However, it wasn't one-sided, because when someone you might like walked by, they also warned you. Sometimes they agreed on who was right for you, but more often than not, no one was good enough, especially when you were the only woman on board.

And even if you are clever and those who underestimated you paid the price. Even so, the crew had a protective complex over you. So if someone gives you a bad look, it will be the last thing they ever do because your friends will become living nightmares.

During the full moon, when Benn was out hunting alone, it was up to you to keep an eye on the captain. Although even when he turned into a werewolf, he was still him, maybe only with more thirst. Even so, it was better to be careful, because it had already happened when there was a red full moon that he went feral. That was your job, and worst case scenario, get him away from the civilians.

Shanks Masterlist

#one piece #one piece x reader #werewolf #werewolf shanks #shanks x reader #Monster Piece

73 notes · View notes

atinydetective · 5 months ago

Text

The real GOLDEN HOUR

Golden Hour, if you listen to the entire album in one sitting you can’t quite understand the album’s key points.

Music video and also lyrics are so different from other Series.

Main reason here is that the lyrics and songs

are written according to Diary.

Until the Golden Hour Series,Music videos usually have side stories other than DIARY parts that include other sides of concept and sometimes special items.

For example we see Yunho in the cromer in Halazia,

but in Diaries there is no trace about the situation

or mentioned information about the reason.

As you know ATEEZ returned home, World A with the full moon.

After all we saw a shining red cube in the outro, there is neither a trace nor another video about this cube.

On the other side, in the diary of the album

members have no dedicated mission or an enemy.

They figuratively fall into the void and with this feeling they slowly separate from the group. Meetings in the old factory gradually decrease to 2 times in a year.

After 3 years They completely stop having meetings.

While passing time Hongjoong’s memories about World Z

and their adventure begins to fade.

That is the point which will change his life, uploading those memories on a blog that will be published as a book in future.

Actually a businessman helps Hongjoong to publish this book .

We don't really know if Hongjoong knows this man's identity but it is Yeosang.

By passing time this book gets famous,and thanks to this fame Hongjoong’s lost family finds their son.

I need to remind you that Hongjoong wanted to be a singer

to become a World Star that can be seen everywhere. Because it would be the chance to be noticed by his family.

Now he is finally with his real family, they noticed him

and accepted him.

Their quiet family dinners; these all were his True wish, Golden Hour right?

In Hongjoong’s diary there is a point I sensed that is an key

we need to focus on.

He defines World Z as the place where you forget memories about the world as we become adults,

like Neverland in Peter Pan.

Seonghwa, even after going back to home world, is stuck thinking about the dancing girl who is both leader of The Thunders and the one girl who gives him the braces says “Be Free.” Last time they saw each other she told him to “Save yourself first,” when he asked about her.

While these words stuck in his mind, one day he passed firefighter exams by chance. In the present his chief mentioned a book to him which is actually Hongjoong’s book.

At that moment while reading diaries I questioned myself, “Wait what, but how? In song we see them in World A, like İllusion and Wonderland we saw some fantastic figures, is this World A just a tough adult’s world right now? Nothing left?” Despite falling into this Adult World, Yunho’s part kinda blooms hope.

Because Yunho is in Egypt! At the end of a journey in which he could not stop singing, we see him singing in a group of people.

Yunho thinks that in some way if he can enter pyramids he can find an artifact like cromer which will open gates to other Worlds.

Do you think Egypt Mythology part will end here, ofc no! Forsooth ATEEZ have a thin connection that can be seen if you look closer. But if we add the Golden HOUR album and check what do have with Bird’s eye view you can see that dots are coming together.

Beginning of the Treasure Series, We see them in Morocco for both Pirate King’s and Treasure’s music video shoots. You can essentially see Orion Constaletion’s symbol on both the Rock on Long Journey trailer and Treasure also on Hongjoong’s earring. If you think they could not spray on a rock it must be coincident,I need to remind you that they sprayed skull painting in a skate boarding area which was actually a spoiler for 2 years later.

If we go back to Orion, above all they build the Pyramids according to this constellation. Moreover Orion Nebula is purple. Like Purple star ATEEZ had been searching for in This Series all along.

Hongjoong mentions in ATEEZ Record that they used feathers to show powerful ATEEZ, in nowadays language Black Fedora’s in Say My Name. When They wear Fur coats…

Further in this album they have been talking about a heart which gets colder but if someone pulls their heart there is no doubt it will eat it.

I don't know if you know it but in Egypt Mythology in Maat’s judgement if someone's heart is heavier than the “Feather” of Maat, their heart is destined to be eaten by AMMİT because they will reach the afterlife.

And Today Yunho was wearing a feather necklace for the show.

I will be waiting for more spoilers from Yunho cause he was the one who told us the fur coats have meaning in Say My name shoots.

If you are about to be judged you have to pass the Nile River- Milky Way while sailing. The Milky Way transfers as “Minki Way” in the ATEEZ universe. In my Mingi Theory I did mention that he specifically chose this name for his program. In Illusion he has a rap about stucking between death and life. “Living and death repeating” and you know how they escape from the end with Crescent..

Crescent, Moon, Goddess of Moon İsis who restored Osiris with this key. Yes we also saw this before. If you check this Empty Box performance, you can see this symbol on Yeosang’s earring.

And last but not least, the poster they shared has a pharaoh relief motif there. When they shared this poster most people said that it’s a ship but if you use negative colors you can see it.

Probably that's all I can add here for now. Let's head back to Diary.

—

Not to mention Yunho also adds that after coming back from a world where they were heroes, they felt that their dream’s importance and effect faded. The box fulfilled with their dream is now empty in their own world.

San concludes that dreams do not always become true with a man's help.

Mingi becomes a model that can easily pay for his grandma’s hospital bills.There was a time on the other side of the river where we ran recklessly towards our dreams with passion and ambition, and when everything was okay. But the point he “stands” is where results and performance must be good rather than passion and ambition. Was that really what he wished for?

I can see the connection, Wooyoung becomes a flight attendant. While he makes the announcements why sings and dances. That is his stage and it is enough for him, he is happy with it. And on an ordinary day he makes the same performance but in this plane he meets Yunho and Mingi after a long time.

On the other side Jongho who actually writes songs for the group when they come together uploads the songs online. And one day a company wants to hire him as a songwriter.

One member from the group he writes songs for wants to quit from the group and it reminds him how he stopped Mingi when he wanted to quit making music like this boy. This is the breaking point for Jongho to call members to meet again. Yes, diaries end like this.

Also there is no outro.Because the moment Jongho calls members Hongjoong stops writing Diaries. These diaries were all along the time the book we saw in Diary Film and the book little girl reads.

To be a little assertive I don't think there will be more diaries.

Surprisingly songs are in order on this album. Just versed.

So let me explain songs:

Two songs have the same vibe, Shaboom and Siren are about adrenaline they felt before back to home, in World Z. In Shaboom’s lyrics, they are talking about a pretty lady. “COME İN, PRETTY LADY.” I believe that’s about Thunder’s leader, the dancing girl. So They are trying to get us used to a girl.

Also in Shaboom’s lyrics they mention,신토불이, which is a concept in Buddhism.

身is body and 土is earth so they can not be separated. So we can claim that they are actually connected to somewhere. So they need to back their own world; they can not be in World Z forever.

In Empty Box as I said before their dreams are fading after facing the reality of this Adult World. Roles are changed between Worlds.

You can see the meaning of the song Work by the name. Just like its name it’s the time when Ateez leave their happiness and dreams and become an adult who works and gets paid. Like Mingi said in his diary, he can make his grandma’s bills.But the point they stand is about to change in the bridge part of the song. “You can’t find me where I stand.”

Like it asks in Golden Hour, “Could these be the real golden hours of our lives?” Ateez’s answer is a big no.

You can hear the radio sound right? When Black Fedora’s enter this dimension World A, both it spreads a radio sound and breaks gravity. Thus it’s a sign that Yunho did find an artifact like cromer.

Maybe it is the red cube we saw at the end of the Will album’s outro. It explains why we saw switch separation on rail.

It’s actually a hidden detail, that members who will create alternative universes are always shown with a wind instrument. And we have Jongho in this mv who calls all members to meet again. Which causes the separation on the rails.

So what is ATEEZ’s destination, where does the rudder take us? To be honest, it’s a bit like that.

Then let me explain WHY DID SEONGHWA COME OUT OFF THE EGG?

First of all in the teaser they released about MİTO’s birth, we saw that this space rabbit came out of the golden egg. In Crazy Form promotions they were running after this rabbit. And during this era they showed us how Seonghwa is a rabbit in Wanteez.

So what is the conclusion?

Mito is the rabbit on the moon, it symbolizes rebirth. I said it was all egypt mythology for this video but if you remember Isis’s key also has power to restore rebirth people.

That being so they add this sequence to show Seonghwa rebirth with this egg as DDeongbyeoli. The one Aniteez member represents Seonghwa. I don't think Ddeongbyeoli and Mito are the same. In my sense Mito is much like a character who breaks the 4th wall.

If you go check Aniteez’s introducing video, while sailing in space with fun they teleported an ocean? They pass a portal in this video. Video Venture the Unknown has the same vibe as Illusion at the beginning but it switches to Wave and then Arriba.

Another song has Spanish words in it. Why do they use this many Spanish words in songs or even a comeback concept? Let me explain.

First if I try to recall my memories about the past, first we have. Wave music video which they shoot in Spain, Illusion Columbus lyrics, Del Mundo fan meeting in the same era. Then in Fever Serie, we have Thanxx which as well was shot in Spain and has Gracias' word in it.

In the World Series we have Arriba all about Spanish culture. It also has a rebellion name like we have Red Sun in this album. While I was looking at KQ entertainment's Youtube page I also saw our Xikers also have a song named Red Sun,but I don't intend for their universe.

I think these Spanish waves have more power and impact on ATEEZ’s universe more and more.

Maybe the reason why they make us remember the Illusion with Aniteez is because when they were in Illusion their destination was the Utopia. But you know that they go back to Strictland with Wonderland, Door of Truth. Like Columbus they explored the wrong place. Columbus was after India but ended up with America. In this case India is Utopia here. And Columbus had been calling India as the New World. You see the connection right?

Moreover Yunho in English diary talks about finding different worlds but in original language it is “different dimensions”.

So we can see them in Space or maybe just in the ocean like Aniteez. Or maybe they can have a single like Halazia which they fill the gap between Answer and Guerrilla. Maybe in this new beginning we can see an organization like E.S.C they have been using as the main director of Pirates in many shows.

youtube

#ateez #ateeztheory #ateezuniverse #wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #ateez mingi #seonghwa #yunho #hongjoong #strictland #Youtube

24 notes · View notes

occasional-pyrrhon · 13 days ago

Text

ALRIGHT SO!! Here's a passage from a fic called Status Code I've been writing random bits of, don't think I'll complete it for the foreseeable future but the most I've written is on the chapter "404: Not Found" (all of them are names after html status codes). The context:

In this (and everything I draw of them) Arlon and Pyrrhon believe they may have the same origin and live as brothers. They start to have a real connection, but Pyrrhon learning he's not a god and not of earth sends him into a spiral and he starts making plans about the Aurum and taking their power to become a god. During an argument over this Arlon calls him insane in frustration, the last person who hadn't seen him that way up to this point, and before he can realize his mistake Pyrrhon breaks off from Arlon and heads off to fight the Aurum.

Once the war with Hades wraps up Arlon resolves to look for Pyrrhon, who has been MIA since Arlon's recovery from battle. He's not sure if he misses him, is angry and wants to settle it, or just wants to hear his side, but regardless, he singled out his location to a point in space, and out there he comes upon what seems like an inactive Aurum Fortress, and investigates...

Arlon he/they because I can

With that, here it is.

Their shoes clicked onto a dark platform, the sound echoing through the vast and hollow corridor. Arlon could only get short, vague glimpses of the true scale of the machine he was now in as quick pulses of light snaked along the ceiling far above where they stood. Looking below, there were small gaps in the floors where lower layers, and even glimpses of the endless cosmos below, could be seen.

“Hm. Certainly dwarfs the Lunar Sanctum in sheer size,” Arlon muttered, “though Master Pyrrhon failed to warn me of their neglect towards interior design.”

He walked on, listening to the echo. Talking to himself: it was something he has gradually picked up on as a new habit. He could understand why one would do it, but it wasn't anything he would want to have someone walk in on. Still, there was something… stabilizing about it.

Arlon furrowed his eyebrows, attempting to focus on any trace of life in this place. As he walked, he saw what seemed like long-deactivated units of some kind, made of unnatural and sharp shapes, rattling on the ground but falling short of rising.

“There's something ever-so-slightly different about this,” said Arlon. “The temperature can't be that different from what it was like outside, yet it feels awfully cold here regardless.” He scratched his chin, scanning these cybernetic surroundings. “I nearly feel life… not the kind with a soul, but like something that was organic once upon a time. I suppose this pitifully ineffective fortification is similar to the Sanctum in that regard, though there's something just a little off about-”

He stopped.

He felt something.

He turned to his right.

In the distance was a corridor that faded quickly into darkness.

Then, it lit up slightly, with firelight.

“...It can't be…” Arlon stepped forward cautiously and peeked into the shifting darkness. The light revealed a trench a small stretch away from them. The light got closer and closer, then they saw it.

They saw him.

He slowly rose from the crevice, strands of fiery hair rising from the depths. It had grown longer and tipped with ash.

His head was hanging down, away from Arlon.

Arlon nodded and looked down, arms folded behind his back. It stung a little. He was here, finally, but there was clearly baggage that came with that. “Salutations… you seem ashamed of something,” he said. “You don't have to tell me what happened right now, I simply hope we can…” Arlon looked up again, and something startled him.

Pyrrhon's back was emerging out of the abyss now, and… Arlon tried to process it all at once. Lines. Lines with pulsing blue light inside of them, inside of him. They connected to each other and spread out like a motherboard to form a kind of pattern that unfolded as Pyrrhon rose, a rectangular gap as its center. He must have been injured somehow, right? But… no, Arlon hadn't seen anything like this before. So angular, precise, as if it had been slowly carved in. Flickering like something living inside of him. He felt a pit in his stomach. Something was wrong.

Arlon stepped forward a small bit. “...Master Pyrrhon?” He whispered.

It wasn't just his head hanging down either. His whole posture was limp, as if he were being drawn up by an invisible string in his back. His aura was weak, resembling wisps of torchlight rather than the aura of sunlight that Arlon knew. He thought he heard Pyrrhon whispering. He could only make out a vague sound, almost like the two same words or phrases, repeated over and over. Rapidly.

Pyrrhon's whole body floated over this crevice now, not having turned towards Arlon at all during this. A chill went through Arlon's whole body – Pyrrhon's hands and legs were both enveloped in pixels of the same blue electronic light nested in his back. Through that aura, his hands were pure white. They didn't look entirely solid. He was twitching. Otherwise, motionless. Oh gods. Something is wrong, Arlon thought, something is horribly, horribly wrong.

His chest felt light. Arlon took another step forward, hesitantly. “...Sire? Can you hear me…?”

He didn’t answer.

He only hung there in midair… whispering.

Then, with only a pained whimper as a warning, Pyrrhon's body lurched forward as he curled up and gripped his own chest in both arms, trembling. He almost sounded like he was struggling to breathe, as panels flickered in the lines through his body.

“Wh-what's going on here? Speak to your sibling, Master Pyrrhon!”

Once again, he wouldn't answer.

Then, without warning, he opened up again and screamed, as an inferno exploded out from him.

Arlon gasped, barely escaping the corridor and diving out of the way as fire roared out of the opening. He got up and backed away. “Now, what on earth do you think you-!?”

But before he could even react to it, a ball of fire swung around the corner and dived down on him, pushing him down to the ground with a hand pinning him by the chest. Arlon struggled against the much physically stronger arms, straining, unable to open his eyes amidst the stinging flames. “Gh… now I know we left off on the wrong foot,” He said indignantly, “but there is no reason you ought to-” They were cut off as the mass pinning them down raised his hand, and then swiftly plunged a fist into Arlon's stomach. He shrieked in pain, grabbing onto the arm pinning him down and bringing his head down.

The fruitlessness of trying to reason sinking in, he weighed his options internally as much as he could. Maybe he was right about his brother having gone mad if this was his response to seeing Arlon again, or maybe this was just his hatred boiling over.

Arlon couldn't help but try to glare back at his ungrateful supposed sibling, and despite the flames he opened his eyes a sliver.

He went breathless.

Arlon could barely make anything out through the burning veil, but what he could see clearly, among the wavering shapes behind fire, were Pyrrhon’s eyes.

A frozen, soulless smile was being illuminated by two deep pits of blue, glowing with something that wasn't alive, analyzing him.

Arlon tried to think of something to say. Something rational, useful. But he could only manage, fearfully, to utter…

“...Rhonnie?”

The nickname struck something. That robotic smile wavered as Pyrrhon’s eyes widened. He blinked a few times, staring, before dropping Arlon and rising stiffly. Silently, Pyrrhon closed his eyes shut and shook his head, as if trying to wake up from a nightmare. He was stepping back, his formless legs not fully coming in contact with the ground. He couldn't get away from the Aurum. They had him surrounded.

Arlon pushed himself up and stood, watching their brother trembling and clutching his head with one hand, his face expressionless. The pieces were coming together. These things, the ones Pyrrhon used to talk about with a fire in his eyes… they were controlling him. They had trapped him here, and were speaking things into his mind that his sibling could only guess at. Arlon held out his hand. “Pyrrhon, don't listen to them,” he said firmly. “Just come to me, I'm sure we can fix this…”

Pyrrhon didn't move towards Arlon or say a word… could he even understand him right now? He opened his eyes again, the fear in them visible despite the lifeless presence wavering within them. There was a struggle in there, as if he were only looking through, unable to fully process what was before him.

His head tilted, in stilted motion.

“Ar… Arl-?”

Then, like a heartbeat, a wave of light pulsed through the Aurum fortress. Pyrrhon stiffened, the light nesting in his chest searing brighter. He gripped his head with both hands and screamed a horrible scream, lighting up in wild flames, Arlon looking on in helpless terror. He was fighting against the Aurum, fighting harder than Arlon had ever seen anyone fight anything, but it wasn't enough. He couldn't push them back. He could only strain with trembling arms to hold back something much, much bigger than him.

Pyrrhon's wide, fear-filled eyes stared up into nothing, filling with a brightening glow as his head tilted further back, his hands losing their grip and sliding from his head down limp at his sides again.

Then, it cocked its head down at Arlon again, and the smile returned.

Arlon stepped back. “...No, Master Pyrrhon, listen to me-!”

Aurum Pyrrhon sprang at Arlon, fireballs coalescing in its spectral hands.

#pyrrhon #arlon kid icarus #the aurum #kid icarus #kid icarus uprising #guywritings #fanfic

11 notes · View notes

bigjuice34 · 11 months ago

Text

Private Affair (Year One)

Chapter One

A/N: Hi!! This is my first Empyrean fic so please bear with me! I have a lot planned for this series and more Fourth Wing characters will eventually be introduced as well. This series can be found on a03 as well! Feedback is greatly appreciated! I hope you enjoy :)

Word Count: 4k

Freya felt like her heart might pound out of her chest. Maybe it was the reality of what she was doing finally catching up with her, or maybe it was that she’d just climbed up a steep 250-step staircase and had yet to catch her breath. Either way, she needed to calm herself down.

It was Conscription Day. A day she knew was coming whether she liked it or not. The black swirls of the relic that peaked out from beneath the long sleeve of the tight-fitted shirt she wore were a constant reminder of why she was there.

As the seconds passed, Freya kept her eyes forward. She was silent, not bothering to interact with those around her as she knew just how high the chances that they, or herself, wouldn’t be alive following what was to come next for them all. Gradually, she and the other candidates who successfully made it to the top of the stairs filed into somewhat of a line as they waited for the real challenge of the day—the parapet.

“Woah,” a female voice gasped before Freya was bumped from behind slightly. She went stiff and quickly glanced over her shoulder, feeling even more on edge, and watched as a girl with shoulder-length dark auburn hair quickly straightened herself out. She noted that at full height, leather boots and all, the girl was still a bit shorter than she was. Somewhere around 5’7, Freya assumed. “I’m so sorry.”

Panic and fear flashed through the girl's faded blue, almost grey-coloured eyes, making Freya relax. The girl meant no harm.

“It’s alright,” Freya assured as she adjusted the strap of her rucksack on her shoulder. “No worries.”

“Maybe watch where you’re going. You do know what quadrant you’re trying to get into, right?” Another female voice spoke up from behind the girl, her tone was rather rude. Freya leaned to the left to look around the girl who accidentally bumped into her, and saw another girl with strawberry blonde hair. A girl that Freya, unfortunately, recognized and with the way the girl's eyes widened, she recognized Freya too. “Freya?”

“Amber,” Freya responds, tightening her jaw. One of the last people she wanted to speak to, especially during a time like this, was Amber Mavis. “Still can’t keep yourself out of other people’s business I see.”

“I forgot I’d be seeing you here.”

“I’m sure you did.”

Freya exhaled, then moved her gaze to the girl standing between them, sending her a slight smile before facing forward again. Hoping that Amber would take the hint that she had no intention to continue their conversation.

“I’m Nova,” the girl with auburn hair said softly, which made Freya genuinely smile.

“Freya,” she told Nova and glanced over her shoulder again, trying to seem less standoffish than she felt she was being. “It’s nice to meet you. Sorry, I’m just trying to stay focused.”

“No, I get it! Me too.”

With one more smile and a nod, Freya faced forward again and watched as the candidate in front of her, a taller, very muscularly built boy with a buzzcut, stepped ahead. She followed and tried her best to keep a clear mind as she gradually got closer to the front of the line.

After a couple of minutes, Freya could tell she was near the entryway to the parapet. Despite not being able to see much ahead of her other than the very large candidate’s back directly in front of her, Freya knew she was getting close because she could hear other candidates state their names for the Scribes to record.

One after another, Freya wondered if any of the names she heard would end up on the list of those that don’t make it to the next day. She quickly shook her head, knowing her name could easily be on that list too. With a deep breath, Freya calmed herself again, but that calmness went away when she heard the next candidate state their name.

“Garrick Tavis,” he said and Freya’s eyes widened.

She quickly leaned to the side so she could see around the candidate in front of her and sure enough, preparing to step onto the parapet, was one of her oldest friends. One she hadn’t seen in almost three years after being relocated following the execution of their parents.

Freya’s heart swelled at seeing Garrick. She missed her friend dearly and hated that this was the circumstance she was finally seeing him again. She knew he’d be there. He was forced to be for the same reason she was, but it still felt surreal. Then her mind wandered to the remaining member of hers and Garrick’s trio.

“Name,” the female rider standing next to the scribe at the parapet’s entrance spoke up.

“Xaden Riorson,” an all too familiar voice stated, making Freya’s breath hitch.

Despite the familiarity, she felt hearing the voice of the tawny-skinned, black-haired boy standing only a few feet in front of her, Freya knew she was looking at a different version of the Xaden Riorson she once knew. He’d always been tall, but now he was more muscularly built and mature-looking than she remembered. Freya couldn’t be surprised, though. She knew the years between then and when their parents were executed aged her an unfair amount too. She wasn’t the same Freya her old friends once knew, either.

However, there was just something about Xaden that continued to draw Freya in. She couldn’t look away from him. It could’ve been the fact that she was seeing him for the first time in almost three years, but it felt like something more. It was like a shock to the system.

“Name,” the female rider said to the candidate behind Xaden and Freya finally moved her gaze away from the relic that swirled up his neck, matching the one that was permanently etched on her arm. God, she missed him.

And then, he was gone. Xaden stepped onto the parapet and out of sight, creating a new type of anxiety for Freya.

Three.

Only three people were separating her from the entrance. Three people between her and watching and making sure both Garrick and Xaden got safely to the other side. She couldn’t bear to think of the other possible outcome.

Two.

The next candidate stepped onto the parapet but given the high-pitched scream that came from the girl, a scream that gradually sounded further and further away with each passing second, Freya could only assume she didn’t make it very far.

One.

Finally, the candidate in front of her moved to the entrance and without the large body ahead of her, Freya was met by an intense gust of wind coming from outside. A couple of dark brown strands fell in front of her eyes. They came loose from the tight braid she’d put her long hair into that morning and wisped around, but Freya tried to ignore it as the female rider made eye contact with her next.

“Name?”

“Freya Tarlor,” she stated as she straightened out her posture, putting her brave face back on.

“Tarlor,” the rider repeated as she wrote, then looked Freya up and down, her eyes landing on Freya’s marked arm. “Another rebellion kid, huh? There’s a few of you this year.”

“Is there a problem with that?” Freya snapped, feeling defensive against the second or third-year who knew nothing about her life.

“Not in a place like this. If the parapet doesn’t take you out, someone or something else will.”

Freya was fuming, however, she realized the rider wasn’t expressing a personal vendetta, but a general one. Being a marked one made her an outsider, there was no denying that.

“So, there’s a target on my back. Got it.”

The rider didn’t say anything more and neither did Freya as she stepped in front of the entrance of the parapet and took a breath when she finally got a look at it. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but whatever she imagined was nothing in comparison to the narrow, uneven stone walkway that seemed to go on for miles.

It was raining, luckily not too heavily, but the strong wind and dark clouds in the distance warned of a looming threat. But, Freya shook her head free of the creeping thoughts. All she had to do was make it to the other side and that’s exactly what she planned to do one way or another.

After taking another breath, Freya stepped toward the entrance but stopped when a voice spoke up.

“Freya, your boot!” Nova stressed and pointed down at the ground.

Freya followed her gaze and noticed the laces on one of her leather boots had come undone. The same one that had a dagger tucked inside of it, and probably would’ve cost Freya her life on the parapet had she not realized it was untied.

A gasp left Freya’s mouth as she crouched down so she could quickly tie it securely. Once done, she made sure the lace on her other boot was still tied nice and tight before standing up then looking back at Nova and nodding.

“Thank you.”

Nova nodded back and smiled. “Good luck.”

“You as well,” Freya responded, returning the smile. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

Then, she took a step forward onto the parapet.

Instinctively, she held both hands out to keep her balance as she stepped across the uneven stone. It was slippery, but Freya accounted for that, her boots keeping their grip on the slick surface.

“This isn’t so bad,” Freya spoke to herself, not missing the shakiness in her voice as she kept her eyes down and watched each careful step she took. The rain was more like a mist by then, but still enough to create beads of water that fell down the leather pants Freya wore the more she moved. Once Freya felt somewhat steady enough, she looked up for the first time since leaving the entrance to the parapet.

The boy that went before her wasn’t as far as she expected. Given his size and just how muscular he was, Freya expected him to be a powerhouse when it came to combat. Everything about him exuded power, well, at least from what she saw. The parapet seemed like a minor blip in this guy's path, but then Freya noticed how unsteady he was. He was wobbling like crazy, going slower than most as he battled to keep his balance and was even slipping a bit with what seemed to be every other step. She made a mental note to not judge a book by its cover as the boy was nowhere near being prepared enough for this type of challenge.

She kept her eyes on him, though, watching where he stumbled so she could be prepared for when she got to those same points. A bit over a fourth of the way, Freya was still fairly steady when she watched the boy trip over a particularly uneven piece, a stone that wasn’t level with the rest of the parapet and caused him to stumble a bit. Freya held her breath watching, hoping, he’d regain his balance and just when it seemed like he might, as if on cue, incredibly strong gusts of wind rushed toward them.

Freya gasped at the sudden force and wobbled as she fought to keep her balance. When the wind didn’t subside, she crouched and held onto the ledges as firmly as she could, refusing to look down past the walkway at the dark nothingness below her and was able to regain her footing. After a moment to calm her pounding heart, Freya inched forward in her crouched position and looked back up only to see the boy flailing his arms around, still unable to find balance.

“You’ve got to get low!” Freya called toward him, hoping he’d listen. “You won’t get steady in this wind!”

“I don’t need advice from a separatist’s kid,” the boy spat, glancing over his shoulder at Freya with nothing but disgust.

Freya felt a pang in her chest at the boy’s words, but she didn’t argue. She couldn’t blame him for a narrative he didn’t create, but it still hurt. Freya nodded and then lowered her gaze back to the walkway in front of her and inched forward again, however, her gaze snapped upwards again just in time to see the boy lose his balance entirely and fall off the left side of the parapet.

“No!”

“Oh, Gods,” Freya heaved and squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to watch anymore. The boy was silent falling to his death, making the continuing noise of only wind and rain hitting the stone bridge that more eerie.

After a few moments, the wind died down and Freya opened her eyes again. She shakily stood up straight and held her arms out for balance, taking a deep breath before she continued. After a few steps forward, once she passed the protruding stone that initially sparked the boy's unfortunate ending, she looked ahead to those in front of her.

There was only one candidate between her and Xaden now. Freya could see him fairly well despite the rain and him being quite ahead. Xaden was nearing the final stretch of the parapet as Garrick rushed to the safety of the walls at the end ahead of him, giving Freya a sense of relief that at least he made it before focusing back on Xaden.

“I’ll find you, Freya,” the sound of his voice making a final promise in the last memory Freya had of him before they were separated played in her mind. “That’s a promise, Fern. I mean it.”

Fern. The thought of the nickname only he called her caused a different kind of pang in her chest. What most people thought was just an odd name Xaden came up with to call her instead of Freya was actually an ode to the fern-green colour of her eyes. A colour that had always been complimented by many.

The thought made Freya smile, but she was quickly brought back to reality when she watched Xaden come to a stop. She wasn’t sure why he stopped, he didn’t show any signs of struggle, but when Xaden looked over the edge of the narrow bridge to the valley below, Freya knew what he was doing. He was getting in his head, considering what would happen if he didn’t make it to the end, but Freya refused to let him do such a thing.

“Go, Riorson!” She pleaded, not caring about the desperate tone of her voice as she yelled. Even with the distance between them, Freya could see the way Xaden stiffened before he looked back at her, his gorgeous features softening once they made eye contact and he realized who was calling to him. “You have to keep going, Xaden! You’re almost there.”

Freya’s voice cracked at the end of her statement, but with the way Xaden smiled, she knew she got her message across.

“I’ll find you!” Xaden promised again, making Freya’s heart pang before he looked forward again and made it across the last bit before disappearing behind the security of the walls.

Freya couldn’t help but smile to herself as she continued walking, past the halfway point and onto the final stretch. That was until a surprise yelp sounded from behind and Freya looked back to see Nova on the verge of falling.

“No!” Nova screamed as her right foot lost traction and slipped off the edge of the bridge a few feet back from where Freya was.

Freya watched in horror as Nova fell but caught herself just in time, one arm wrapped around the width of the parapet while the other held on to the ledge and her feet dangled below her. Nova was quick in trying to swing her left leg up over the side so she could pull herself back up, impressing Freya with her upper body strength, but was unsuccessful when her leg slid right off again.

“Gah!” She cried and continued hanging on for dear life. “No, please!”

Freya had to do something. She couldn’t just stand there and watch after Nova had already helped her, but she was so far away. Then she noticed the same protruding rock that had knocked the boy candidate off his balance in that same spot.

“The rock, Nova!” She yelled, making Nova look at her as she pointed. “The one sticking out behind you! Swing your leg back up, but don’t try to use your knee as an anchor. Press your foot against that rock then straighten your leg and use that to help pull yourself up!”

Nova looked at her with wide eyes then looked at the rock, studying it before nodding and doing exactly what Freya said. She swung her left leg up again, but instead of trying to use her knee against the ledge to help pull her up, she extended her leg until the rock until her boot came in contact with it. Given how her leg wasn’t fully extended, she was able to press all of her body weight against the rock and readjust her arm’s positions to help pull herself up the rest of the way. Once she carefully put one foot flat against the bridge, bringing herself into a kneeling position as she gripped the sides, she let out a cry of relief.

“You just saved my life,” Nova said as she looked at Freya once again and gradually stood back up. “Thank you. I wouldn’t have noticed that rock was there before it was too late.”

“We’re not in the clear yet,” Freya reminded her. “But glad I could help. It was the least I could do.”

Nova smiled at her again in thanks before Freya looked forward and continued on her way. The wind stayed strong, but not powerful enough that Freya felt she had to remain crouched. She was able to stay upright, keeping a careful balance even as the rain began to pour.

Thunder and lightning cracked in the distance, posing even more of a threat, but Freya was over three-fourths of the way there. The security of the citadel’s massive walls was within reach and at that point, nothing was coming between her and who was waiting behind them. Or so she hoped.

Once the walls of the citadel secured her on both sides, Freya crossed the remaining ten feet of the parapet quickly and with ease. Relief flooded through her as she reached the end and stepped down from the ledge, exhaling deeply. Then, she started looking around for her boys.

“Name?” A male rider waiting off to the side asked, making Freya jump, but not even looking at her as he waited to write down the name she provided.

“Freya Tarlor,” she stated, still trying to catch her breath as she stood up straight again and looked at them.

“Hmm, the rebellion kids are three for three,” the rider stated, raising his eyebrows in amusement. Freya’s immediate response was the want to make another snarky comment about the label that continues to be thrown around regarding her parents. But, before she got the chance to, Freya was cut off by a familiar voice and someone tackling her into their embrace.

“There she is,” Garrick greeted happily, pulling Freya to the side where he could engulf her in a bone-crushing hug, showing just how much she was missed. “I knew the parapet wouldn’t get you.”

“Garrick,” Freya replied, chuckling as she hugged him back as tightly as she could and tried to blink back the tears she could feel welling in her eyes. “Gods, I missed you. And how did you know something else wouldn’t take me out over the last few years before I could even get here, huh?”

She was teasing, which Garrick knew and showed as he leaned back to look at her and then shook his head.

“Because it’s you,” another voice said and Freya felt like she could melt a bit just at the sound of it. “I didn’t have a single doubt that we’d be seeing you here in one piece, Fern.”

“Xaden,” Freya whispered, not being able to prevent the tears from escaping her eyes as she saw that her oldest friend was only an arm's reach away.

“Come here,” Xaden said softly but firmly and held out his arms as Garrick stepped to the side. Freya wasn’t long rushing to him, wrapping her arms around his middle as she slammed against his chest. Instantly relaxing at being back in his comforting embrace. “I told you I’d find you.”

“You’ve never broken a promise to me, I was really hoping you wouldn’t start now.”

“Never, Freya. Not to you.”

The two squeezed each other for another moment then smiled as they moved away. However, the trio’s nice little reunion was cut short when a female cleared her throat from behind them.

“Why aren’t you stopping them?” Amber questioned the rider standing nearby as she stepped down from the parapet and gestured to Freya, Xaden and Garrick. “They’re committing a criminal offence!”

“Name?” The rider responded, unbothered by her.

“Are you blind? This needs to be reported.”

“Name?”

Amber scoffed.

“I’m not going to ask again, cadet.”

“Amber Mavis,” she huffed. “Now are you going to do something or what?”

“And what exactly is it you’d like me to do?” The rider asked, still looking as unbothered as ever.

“They’re marked ones, you imbecile! They can’t be in groups of three or more, it’s the law!”

“Actually, the law is that they can’t gather in more than groups of three,” Nova spoke up from where she stood nearby as well, waiting for a chance to properly thank Freya for her help on the parapet. “They’re not doing anything wrong and you’re making a scene over nothing.”

Amber’s eyes widened as she clearly had more to say, but the male rider cut her off.

“She’s right,” he stated. “Marked ones, children of those who took part in the rebellion, cannot gather in groups of more than three according to General Melgren’s law.”

He recited the law word for word, and Amber flinched at his condescending tone.

“I may seem blind to you, cadet, but I know how to count.”

“I-,” Amber stammered, then gulped.

“As the stickler you seem to be for the rules, maybe you should try knowing them correctly before involving yourself in stuff that you have no business being part of. If not, well, I’m sure you’ll have a great time making alliances in here.”

The rider’s sarcastic tone left Amber speechless. She didn’t say anything more, just let out a frustrated noise and stormed off toward where the other cadets were heading.

Freya, Xaden and Garrick all looked at one another and then shook their heads. Then Nova spoke again.

“She seems like a real fun person to know,” she said, making Freya smile. “Anyways, Freya, I wanted to thank you again for what you did on the parapet. You didn’t need to help me in any way, but I know I would’ve fallen if you hadn’t pointed out that rock. I appreciate it.”

“I owed you one,” Freya responded simply. “And again, it was the least I could do. I didn’t want to see you fall.”

“Thank you. If you ever need any help or backup at all, I’m your girl. Even though I can see that you’re pretty covered.”

A small smile tugged at Freya’s lips as she glanced up at the two boys standing protectively on each side of her, knowing that’s what Nova was referring to.

“Likewise, Nova. I’ll see you in there.”

With that, Nova nodded and went on her way toward the courtyard with the other cadets.

“Come on,” Xaden said and gently grabbed Freya’s hand, igniting fiery tingles on her skin from the sudden contact as he led her in the same direction the others were going. “We have to wait for the last people to make it across. Until then, we have a lot of catching up to do.”

#xaden riorson #xaden riorson imagine #xaden riorson x ofc #xaden riosrson x original female character #xaden riorson fanfiction #fourth wing imagine #fourth wing fanfic #xaden riorson fanfic #fourth wing fanfiction #the empyrean fanfic

46 notes · View notes