#i want to see more nurse rowan

[bria-doublen-a]

Book Review: Heir of Fire

Non Spoiler Section

If you thought the first two books in this series were amazing, prepare to pick your jaw up off of the floor after this one because Sarah J Maas has been holding back. She demonstrates her immaculate skill in character development here, leaving you itching for more scenes with our favorite gang.

Now, this story does introduce some new characters and we jump around between three different perspectives all throughout the book. If anyone loves Celaena as much as I do, I’m sure you’re going to have periods where you’re feeling impatient and dying to get back to her. But let me warn you now: you’re going to have to learn how to share your time. Give these newbies a chance to surprise you.

In Heir of Fire, now that we know Celaena is really Aelin Galathynius, we get to watch her as she navigates a new land (at least new to us) in Wendlyn. All while she grieves the death of her friend Nehemia, and the loss of a great love with Chaol. And the way grief is described in this book is so beautifully painful. I don’t know how else to describe it.

I definitely had to pace myself with this book. It has a bit of a slower start, which means there’s a lot of time for Celaena to process and feel her emotions. This book is where she is at her lowest, so prepare to feel the secondhand depression. Definitely not for the faint of heart, but it only makes the comeback that much more rewarding!

So, what are you waiting for? Go pick up at that book and read!

Spoiler Section

Y’all this one was the best one yet!!!

I’ll admit, I was a bit skeptical in the beginning when Sarah introduced Manon. Well, not skeptical, per se, just kind of...I don’t know, annoyed? I didn’t mind switching POVs from Celaena to Chaol or Dorian, but whenever I had to sit and read scenes with Manon, it just felt like a commercial break in between the scenes of a movie or TV show.

I didn’t understand what her purpose was and I didn’t know why I was supposed to like her or root for her. Do we have any gamers here? Has anyone ever played The Last of Us Part II? (spoilers incoming btw) Introducing Manon kind of had the same reaction I had when I first had to play as Abby, which annoyed the hell out of me because it just felt like it was just to get me to build some kind of relationship with her, only to rip out the rug from under me when Maas tries to surprise us with the reveal that she’s actually a villain.

Obviously, that’s not what happened and obviously, I did end up LOVING HER. Honestly, I don’t know why I expected anything less from SJM! She continues to crash through the barriers of my expectations with her depiction of relatable and complex characters.

That scene where Manon falls in the pit with Titus and the bait dragon and realizes that size and brutality isn’t what matters—it’s the inner strength...*chef’s kiss* That was the moment that I realized that Manon was more than just a murdering psycho without a heart, regardless of how many times she tries to convince us of this. I don’t know about you all, but I’m getting major Zuko vibes from ATLA.  Honestly, I’m so excited to see what’s awaiting for her in the next book.

And Chaol—ugh. I never realized how hard I was leaning on Dorian and Celaena to help carry me through scenes with him until I was forced to watch him do his own thing without them. I’m trying really hard to like him, but he makes it increasingly difficult. Once again, I find myself wanting to know what happened before he came to the castle. What made him leave his family in Anielle? I know there’s a story there and I’m so desperate to know it, because I want to feel more than this bland dislike for him.

I know that Chaol sent Celaena to Wendlyn to protect her and I know that he has intentions of staying here in the castle to help keep Dorian safe as well, but I have problems with the way he explains his thought process here. He still so obviously views Celaena’s heritage and Dorian’s magic as bad things. Things he wishes he could change about them, things he wishes he didn’t know. But Dorian and Celaena aren’t the problem, dude! It’s you!

Dorian even says as much in an argument with Chaol, and I was so thrilled by this scene, because I really thought that maybe I’m being too harsh on him. Maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion, but no! Dorian calls Chaol out on his shit, saying, “you only accept the parts of us you want to accept.” And good for Dorian, because I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Speaking of Dorian, can we talk about how he keeps getting the shit end of the stick? My poor, sweet, Dorian! First, he gets dumped by Celaena (I’m still angry about this), then he has to watch his ex and his best friend get all cuddly (grrrr!), while learning he has freaking magic!!. He’s feeling alone and isolated and like his friends have completely shut him out (because they did) and then finally—FINALLY—we think he’s getting a break when we meet Sorscha. 

The amount of adoration I had for this girl is unreal. She was quiet and shy and kind and just everything that Dorian deserved...and she was killed by the king. Killed. The king freaking decapitated her. Was that really necessary?

Y’all. I was so stupid mad. If anything, Chaol should’ve been the one to die in that scene. A sacrifice like that would’ve been enough for me to forgive him and help me realize that he at least understands the problems in his choices and their consequences. But no. Chaol’s let off scot-free. Once again. *sigh*

Am I being too hard on him?

But let’s talk about Celaena and Rowan. First of all, I was not expecting to like this guy. He was rude and obnoxious and seemed to only want to hurt Celaena. I was never much of a enemies-to-lovers trope kind of gal, but I immediately caught that vibe when we first met him. Still, I found myself excited to see where it was going, because it was clear that Maeve had led Rowan to believe that Celaena grew up like a princess, never having to do a single thing herself. I can’t blame Rowan’s perception of her given what he thinks he knows and what Celaena refuses to open up about.

Aaaaaand, I was right.

I absolutely loved watching Rowan and Celaena grow closer. Even more, I loved the interractions she had with Emrys and Luca too. Every single character, small or large—even the villiains—had such drastic impressions on Celaena and forced her to address each dark corner of her past she tried to ignore.

The scene where she’s having her burnout while trying to protect the ward around the Mistward, where she’s trapped in her mind and the version of herself that uses Aelin as her name comes to her was absolutely amazing. I loved that this was Celaena’s turning point. I was almost expecting Maas to stop calling Celaena Celaena and move on to addressing her as Aelin. 

It was set up perfectly when Aelin came to Celaena, holding her hand out, encouraging her to fight back. The death of Celaena and the rise of Aelin. But I can also understand how confusing that would be. Though, at this point, she already has three names. Aelin, Celaena and Elentiya. I feel like anyone who tried hard enough could keep up.Plus, it would really accentuate the change in her mental state. Celaena never wanted to be queen. Aelin strives to reclaim her land. Meh. Oh, well. Either way, I am incredibly happy with how this book turned out.

All in all, this gets 5/5 stars from me.

[leiawritesstories]

Impossible

Rowaelin Month 2024, Day 13: Finding Out They're Pregnant @rowaelinscourt

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: medical talk, hospitals, mentions of infertility, vague depictions of medical tests

A/N: this is a little bit self-indulgent but also therapeutic--i had surgery for endometriosis this past summer, and part of recovering from that was how tf do i process all the implications of this diagnosis??? well...writing helps. anyway. Aelin has endo in this fic, but things go very different for her than they did for me lol.

Enjoy :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was still dark outside when Aelin’s alarm went off, the cheery tune she’d chosen breaking through her restless scraps of dreaming. With a mild groan, she rolled over and tapped the screen of her phone multiple times before she managed to turn off the alarm, eliciting a sleepy chuckle from her husband behind her. She poked him in the shoulder and stuffed her pillow over her head. 

“Five more minutes,” she mumbled. “Got another alarm.” 

Rowan tugged the pillow off of her head and fluffed it up. “Mmmkay, go back to sleep, love.” He tugged her back against his side, and she closed her eyes. 

And her alarm went off five minutes later. She grumbled at it, but she carefully extricated herself from Rowan’s embrace, turned off her alarm, and pushed herself out of bed. Leaving a kiss on his forehead, she tucked the blankets up and went quietly into the bathroom. A clean set of clothes already sat on the shelf beside the shower, and she smiled softly at her husband’s quiet thoughtfulness. She went through the motions of the shower rhythmically, her body working on muscle memory due to the too-early hour, making sure to scrub extra well with the antibacterial soap. Finished, she dried off and put on the clean, comfortable clothes Rowan had set out—sweatpants and a loose shirt. 

He was awake and half-dressed when she emerged from the bathroom, and his glasses sat crooked on his nose. She chuckled softly and straightened the wire frames, and he caught her wrists and tugged her gently into his lap. “Hey.” Fingers threaded through her loose, damp hair. “Want braids?” 

“Yeah.” She passed him her brush and two hair ties, and he carefully wove the blonde waves into twin braids down past her shoulder blades. “Someday, our future daughter is going to only want you to do her hair for school.” 

“Biggest win ever.” His voice, like hers, held a touch of muted yearning, weighed down by the hopelessness of two years trying to conceive without success. Aelin had been diagnosed with stage 3 endometriosis in her last year of college, while they were engaged, and she had put off surgery until her doctor finally said that the excision procedure was the best thing she could do for her chance of having a family. 

“I’m nervous,” she admitted. “I know Dr. T said this is the best thing for us right now, but I…I almost don’t want to hope.” 

“Fireheart,” Rowan breathed, standing so he could wrap his wife in his embrace. “It’s going to be okay, my love. I have more than enough hope for both of us.” 

“I love you,” she whispered. 

She held his hand the whole way to the hospital. 

When they arrived, the receptionist waved them towards the procedure center waiting area, and they sat down and waited in the early-morning quiet. Only a few others were there, including an older couple, a middle-aged woman, a half-asleep man, and a woman about Aelin’s age sitting with her mother. 

“Galathynius?” Aelin stood up and went to the desk, and she gave the receptionist her information. It only took a few minutes, and soon she was back in her seat with a green hospital bracelet around her right wrist and a clipboard with some papers on it. She handed Rowan the slip of paper with her patient information and went to work on the few forms. It was only a short while before a nurse with a softly lined face walked into the waiting area and called for Aelin, and she squeezed Rowan’s hand as she stood up. 

“I’ll see you soon,” she promised, and she followed the nurse through the double doors into the pre-procedure area. They walked down a quiet, gray-tiled hallway, the faint scent of disinfectant lingering in the sterile air. 

The nurse—her nametag read Philippa—stopped by a restroom door. “First question, Aelin.” She held out a clear plastic cup. “Did you remember to come with a full bladder?” 

“I did.” Aelin smiled. “Almost like I’ve had practice with this kind of thing.” 

Philippa chuckled. “Okay then, I don’t need to give you instructions. Go ahead, and when you’re done, I’ll be at the desk over there.” She gestured. “Take your time.” 

Aelin went into the bathroom and closed the door. Pregnancy screening was required as part of the pre-procedure preparations, and it was almost too familiar, almost too easy, to take care of the urine sample and close up the plastic cup. So many tests flickered before her eyes, so many single lines, so many negative results. The only thing that gave her any hope was that Dr. Yrene was firmly convinced that this surgery would improve her chances of conceiving, since the endometriosis lesions would no longer be there to interfere with things. She handed Philippa the cup and followed her down to a small, clean room, where a hospital gown, cap, and socks sat on the bed beside a plastic sack and a sleeve of chlorhexidine wipes. 

“You know what to do, I’m sure, but I still have to give you the rundown.” Philippa let Aelin take a seat in the chair across from the bed and wrapped a blood pressure cuff around her right arm. “Wash with the wipes and change into the gown, blah blah blah, and your nurse will come in to get you all hooked up and ready to go.” She checked the blood pressure reading and jotted it down. “Oh, and if there’s anything else we need you to do, your nurse will let you know. Looks like you’ll have Sorscha, and she’s wonderful.” 

“Thank you,” Aelin murmured, giving the older woman a grateful smile as she left the room and closed the door. She had just finished getting herself into the gown and bright yellow socks when there was a rapping on the door and a woman of about her own age with soft caramel skin and a warm smile cracked open the door and poked her head into the room. 

“Aelin, right?” 

“That’s me.” Aelin sat down against the pillows. “Right on time.” 

“I’m Sorscha.” The nurse came into the room. “I’m sorry to disturb you before you might be ready, but your pregnancy screening came back positive.” 

The world around Aelin went silent. 

She shook her head slowly, bringing herself back into the present. “I…what?” Her breath hitched, shock creeping up her throat, and she clasped her hands together in front of her stomach. “It has to be a false positive; there’s not a chance I’m actually…” Pregnant. The word she couldn’t let herself say. 

Sorscha looked down at her clipboard, flipped a few papers. “Would you like to take a digital test by yourself? It could be a false positive, and we do need to be absolutely sure of the result because you’re scheduled to go under general anesthesia.” 

Aelin nodded. “Yes, please. I do want to take another test.” 

“Got it.” Sorscha walked her back to the bathroom and grabbed a digital test from the nurse’s station. She handed the box to Aelin and let her go into the bathroom alone. “Bring it on out when you’re done, okay? There is a possibility that we might have to do an ultrasound if you think you’ve had a false positive, but that’s easy to do.” She squeezed Aelin’s trembling hand. “You’re going to be okay, Aelin.” 

“Okay.” More hesitantly than before, Aelin went into the bathroom, locked the door, sat down, and took the pregnancy test out of the box. She went through the motions robotically, tucked the test back into the cap, and turned it over while she waited. Questions spun around her head at the speed of light, but she pushed them away, weighing them down with the strength of her doubt. She knew her ovulation window, and she’d had her period regularly. It just…it wasn’t possible. 

The timer pinged, and Aelin picked up the test, turned it over, and read the single line of text displayed on the tiny gray screen. And her whole body trembled, shaken by the force of hope that crashed into her as she read that second test. 

Pregnant. 3+. 

Shakily, she walked out and wordlessly handed the test to Sorscha, who took one look at it and helped Aelin sit down in the nearest chair. “You’re going to be okay,” she said again, reassuring Aelin as the tears finally broke free and spilled down her face. 

“I—” A great shuddering sob wrenched Aelin’s shoulders, and she just let her body loose to the tide of overpowering shock and disbelief and wonder and worry. “I think I’m dreaming,” she choked out, her words broken with tears. “It’s been two years; I didn’t think it was possible.” She wiped her eyes. “God, I’m sorry, here you are just trying to do your job and I’ve turned into a hot mess express in front of everyone.” She sniffled. 

Sorscha gave her a hug, and Aelin leaned into the comforting gesture. “How about we go back to your pre-op room and talk about next steps?” 

“Okay.” Aelin followed Sorscha back to the room, and she sat down on the bed while the nurse pulled up her charts on the computer. “So…what now?” 

“Well, the main thing is that you won’t be able to have the surgery that you were scheduled for, but that’s a very good thing because you’re pregnant.” Sorscha clicked through a few things. “I’ve paged your doctor, and she should be in soon to discuss what she wants you to do, but my suspicion is that she’ll order an immediate ultrasound to check on things and maybe have you do some blood tests. It’s convenient that you’re in the hospital, because you don’t have to go anywhere.” 

Aelin laughed softly, flicking stray tears away from her face. “Okay.” 

Right on cue, there was another knock on the door, and Dr. Yrene Towers came in, her copper curls tied back into a bun. “Well hello, Aelin! Seems like today might not go exactly as we planned.” 

“That’s one way to say it,” Aelin agreed. 

The doctor looked over at the charts that Sorscha had pulled up. “Okay, Aelin, I’d like for you to go up to the imaging clinic and get an ultrasound done.” She stepped over to the computer and rapidly typed up an order that she sent to the imaging center. “Since a surgeon ordered it, they’ll be able to do it right away, and this will either confirm your pregnancy for certain or prove that you had false positives. In the first case, we’ll turn to prenatal care, and in the second, we can go ahead with surgery. How does that sound?” 

“Sounds great.” Aelin glanced down at herself. “Should I change?” 

“Actually, it might be easier if you kept the gown on for now, since they’ll probably want to do an internal ultrasound.” Dr. Yrene looked over at Sorscha. “Can you take her to imaging, Sorscha?” 

“Of course.” 

“Perfect.” 

Sorscha slipped out of the room and came back a few minutes later with a wheelchair, and she got Aelin settled and took her down the hallways and up an elevator to the fourth floor, where the imaging clinic was located. She spoke briefly to the receptionist and took Aelin into the clinic, bringing her into a softly-lit room. An ultrasound tech was waiting, Aelin’s order pulled up on her screen. She conferred briefly with Sorscha and helped Aelin get situated on the exam bed. 

After a brief explanation and demonstration of the ultrasound probe, the tech started the scan, and it was only a few minutes before Aelin looked over at the screen opposite her and saw a teeny tiny baby moving gently around inside of her uterus. 

The tears welled up again, and she didn’t stop them. 

“Congratulations,” the tech murmured, and she clicked away at the ultrasound machine, making notes and recording measurements. Aelin stared at the image of the tiny baby, overcome by an emotion so strong she didn’t have the proper words for it, and she was surprised when the tech finished the exam and asked her if she wanted prints of the images. 

Sorscha came back and took Aelin back down to the pre-procedure area, and she found herself back in the exam room with her ultrasounds, waiting for Yrene. The doctor brought in her own set of Aelin’s ultrasounds, and she was beaming when she came into the room. 

“I’m so happy for you and your husband,” she said. “He doesn’t know yet, of course, but when we bring him back, you’ll be able to tell him all about it. Did you want to wait for him to discuss prenatal care, or would you like to talk about the details with me first?” 

“Tell me first.” Aelin stroked her thumb over the black-and-white images. “I want to know how far I am and why the heck I didn’t know.” 

Yrene chuckled. “Well, according to the way things are measuring and the dates you’ve tracked for ovulation, you are twelve and a half weeks, almost out of the first trimester.” She pointed to part of one image. “Now, the reason you didn’t know is probably partially due to your endometriosis giving you false periods and partially because, as you see here, you have an anterior placenta, which means that the placenta is in the front of the uterus. So, you might not show any bump until later in pregnancy, and it will probably not be quite as big as you might expect.” She ran through a list of more details, pointing out relevant things on the ultrasounds. “All right, then, I think we’re ready to bring your husband back. Is there anything else you want to ask me?” 

“Could you have them do the blood draw before you bring Rowan back? I want to have it all taken care of before he sees me.” 

“Of course.” Yrene spoke quietly to Sorscha, and when the blood draw was done and Aelin had a small bandage in the crook of her elbow, both the nurse and the doctor left the room. It was Yrene who walked in shortly later with Rowan, and she grinned at Aelin as she left the two of them alone. 

“Hey, Fireheart.” Rowan’s brows furrowed in confusion as he looked around the room. “Is something wrong?” 

She shook her head. “Not at all.” 

“But you’re…” 

“I know.” She looked down at herself, still in the hospital gown but not hooked up to IVs and monitors like he’d expected her to be. “They can’t do the surgery right now, Rowan.” Her throat thickened, and she looked up at her husband with tears gleaming in her eyes. “Because I’m pregnant.” 

“What?!” He staggered backwards, his body going nearly boneless as he collapsed into the chair, shock and hope washing over his face. 

Aelin handed him the ultrasound photos, watched the joy brighten his features as he drank in the sight of their tiny baby cradled inside of her. “Twelve and a half weeks, and I didn’t believe the tests until I saw the ultrasound.”

“Fireheart,” he breathed, standing so he could go to her and wrap her in his loving arms. His tears dropped into her hair, but she ignored them, just as he ignored how her tears blotched his shirt. “This…I think this is the best thing that could have happened.” 

She chuckled through her tears. “Almost—I can’t have the surgery until after I give birth, but this is…definitely something we both hoped for.” 

“Yeah.” So gently, his thumb swept the tears from her cheeks. “And twelve weeks?”

“Yeah.” Grinning, she lifted his slack jaw back into place. “Dr. Yrene will talk to both of us about where we go from here.” He nodded, and she let him sit down on the bed beside her and loop his arm around her waist, his strength always her rock. The doctor walked back in and beamed at both of them, and she sat down and gave them a whole list of prenatal instructions. 

“But really, most of all, you know what works best for you and your health,” she concluded. “I like to tell my patients not to get too obsessed with the mommy books and social media mom advice, but gods know I can’t control that. I’ll see you in a few weeks, okay?” 

“Thank you so much.” Aelin impulsively hugged her doctor. After Yrene left, she turned back to Rowan, and she brushed the stray tears off of his chin. “It’s good news, love. It’s such good news.” 

“I know.” He passed her clothes to her, and she changed out of the hospital gown. A nurse came back to walk them out of the hospital, and they left with a completely different set of instructions than they’d expected when they arrived only a couple of hours earlier. 

 An entirely different outcome, but a miracle nonetheless.

~~~

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[tomtenadia]

Detours to You - 27

Here I am with a new chapter... hope you like it. We are almost at the end. :)

Rowan was running late and he hated it. He had been out on a firehouse visit and the inspection had lasted longer than he wanted and now he was rushing towards the bookshop, excitement bubbling through him. Aelin had a doctor’s appointment and they were hoping to finally discover the gender of the baby. They had tried at the previous visit but their child had decided to be cheeky and not reveal themselves. Before leaving the firehouse he had texted Aelin to let her know he was on his way. And while he was giddy at experiencing all that he had missed during Aelin’s first pregnancy  Maya had become fascinated by the idea of having a sibling and she had been also inquisitive about her growing belly so Rowan had done some research to find a suitable book to explain to a toddler what was happening. It was followed by a lot of interesting evening with some really challenging questions. 

Finally getting rid of his pickup he walked quickly to the shop. Inside he was met by Lys and Elide who were at the counter discussing something.

“Good morning, Chief.” They told him as he entered “Aelin is in the back office.”

“So, are you excited?”

Rowan nodded. He was happy about the pregnancy but now he was really looking forward to know more about their baby. He had been fussing more than usual but he had a great help in Maya who was happy to help her mum too. Some evening they would sit on the sofa and Rowan would read stories and Maya would place her head on her mum’s lap to be close to the baby. He was looking forward to feel them kick. Rowan wanted to experience so badly all the little things that he had missed with Maya.

“Yes.” He replied “I just wish she would take it a bit slower. She is always so tired.”

Elide sighed “We try. But you know how she is.”

He nodded. Yes, the few times he had suggested her to stay at home she almost strangled him and called him a fussy buzzard. 

“You do know she is going to drop the baby in the middle of this bookstore, right?”

Rowan groaned. He had already enlisted the parents to help him in his mission to convince Aelin to take it slow. 

“I know..”

In that instant Aelin appeared and went for a kiss “Don’t, I was in the office sitting down.”

Rowan groaned and then gently brushed her small bump “are you both ready to go?”

Aelin nodded and waved at the two women and they left the shop.

In the car Aelin strapped in “I am so excited.” She brushed her tummy “I hope peanut will behave today.”

He leaned forward and kissed her “you make me happy.” He confessed.

“Peanut, you need to know that your dad is a mushy old man.”

Rowan roared with laughter and set the car in motion “don’t listen to your mum, little one.”

At the hospital they went straight for the maternity ward and checked in with the nurses and sat waiting for their doctor.

“Aelin, Rowan, come in.”

After the usual chat, doctor Hafiza invited Aelin to lay down on the bed and Rowan took position at her side, her hand in his in anticipation.

Doctor Hafiza moved the ultrasound machine closer and stood beside the bed.

“You know the drill,” she joked, and Aelin lifted her shirt to allow the doctor to place the gel on her belly.

“Now, let’s see if your baby today decides to reveal themselves to us.”

Rowan kissed Aelin’s hand and gasped at the image on the screen. It did not matter that he had seen it before, the grainy picture of his child still moved something in him. 

“Come on, little one, move for me.” Doctor Hafiza shifted the wand until a big smile spread on her face “so what do we think?”

“A girl,” added Aelin quickly.

“I am happy with either.”

The doctor moved the wand a bit more until a huge grin spread on her face and with his finger she pointed at the screen “what about a wee boy?”

Rowan and Aelin stared at each other and he kissed her and Aelin nodded excited.

“Is he okay?”

The doctor was silent for a moment “yes, all the measurements are perfectly within range, he is growing up nicely.”

Rowan brushed Aelin’s hair “we are having a boy,” his voice soft and already in love with the life growing inside Aelin,

“Is Aelin okay too?”

The woman in question rolled her eyes “he is fussing. If it were for him he’d lock me up in a cocoon until the baby comes out.”

The doctor laughed “she is fine and I will schedule regular check ups. You are well over thirty and although not risky yet, I just want to make some extra checks.” she explained “I would recommend taking it easy. Let him do the heavy lifting.”

Rowan beamed but their doctor stopped him “movement is not all bad. Work will be fine until she manages, and I recommends walks and there’s also pregnancy yoga. Just be mindful of which poses you do.”

“Oh yes, I used to do that when I was pregnant with Maya.”

“I had a c-section before, will I be able to have a natural birth?”

Aelin felt Rowan’s hand tense in hers.

The doctor nodded “we will monitor your pregnancy carefully, but there’s usually no risk if both mum and baby are healthy.”

“But there are risks?”

“Rowan, childbirth itself is always a risky business. But I am good at my job.”

Aelin looked up at him and she knew he was already in crazy fussy mode.

“Let’s just hope the little one behaves better than his sister and waits for his correct time and decides to come out as nature intended to.”

The doctor chuckled “Maya was a hellion from the start.”

Aelin and her doctor seemed to share a joke they only knew about and Rowan stood there in silence. A part of him, reminding him that he had not been there the first time and the dull ache of what he had missed came back. He sighed, pushing back all the negative thoughts. He and Aelin were on track, they had a family and they were looking forward. It was time for him to stop dwelling on what had happened.

Aelin patted his hand “he is a worrywart and I am sure he is already thinking about all he could do to protect us.” She kissed his hand looking up at him and mouthing an I love you.

“Guess it’s the first responder in him.”

The doctor cleaned up Aelin’s belly and she finally sat up “I will book your next appointment, but if you have any issues just call the ward and I will try and squeeze you in.”

Outside of the room Aelin turned to Rowan and threw her arms around his neck “we are having a boy.”

He bowed his head and met her lips for a sweet kiss “wonder how Maya will take it.”

Aelin smiled against his lips “that little hellion of ours will be delighted.”

Rowan quickly looked at his watch “is it okay if I take you back to the bookstore? I have a meeting coming up soon and another firehouse visit.”

“Of course.”

“Sorry,” a kiss “I have a captain who is in an acting role because an investigation and I have to check a few things.”

Aelin caressed his face “go, Lys and Elide will look after me.”

“I will come and pick you up after work, then we are getting Maya from your parents and we’ll celebrate tonight.”

“Adult fun?”

“Menace.”

*

Rowan afternoon had been crazy. After his meeting he had run to the fire station and when he was on his way back the radio became alive so he did a u-turn and drove to the accident. By the time everything was resolved it was far too late for his taste. He had quickly called Aelin while driving and told her he might not be able to meet her to go and pick up Maya. He hated it, but that was his job. On his way home he had stopped at Emrys and bough Aelin’s favourite chocolate cake to apologise.

He drove uphill to the house and relaxed. He just wanted to sit on the sofa with his two women and have a quiet evening.

“Ae, I am home.” He called while toeing off his shoes.

Maya appeared instead “hi dada!”

In a swift motion he picked her up “hi munchkin, where’s mum?”

“She just went to the toilet.”

He kissed his daughter “sorry I could not come and pick you up.”

“Mama said you were helping with a fire.”

“I was.”

A moment later Aelin appeared and he quickly scanned her to make sure all was okay.

“Is that chocolate cake you have in your hands?”

Rowan scoffed and looked at his daughter still in his arms “she loves chocolate more than me.”

Maya hugged his neck “it’s okay dad, I love you.”

Aelin moved closer “peanut and I love you madly,” she added leaning against his arms “but you must know by now that I would gladly cheat on you with a cake from Emrys.”

He laughed and put Maya on the ground while passing the cake to Aelin “I need a shower then I will make dinner.” He then turned to Maya “make sure mama does not eat the chocolate cake while I am away.”

The girl grinned and Rowan disappeared upstairs.

By the time he was back all refreshed both Aelin and Maya were in the living room “Dada, I kept mama away.” She told him proudly.

Rowan  smacked a kiss on her cheek “well done, baby.”

Aelin crossed her arms at her chest “yes, the little traitor,” she joked “you carry them for nine months and then they side with the father.”

Rowan sat at Aelin’s side and pulled her to him and kissed her “I am just looking after your sugar intake.”

She grumbled and Rowan caressed her belly “did you tell Maya?”

“I was waiting for you.”

Rowan nodded and called the girl who crawled happily with her elf toy in tow.

He lifted her up and sat her in between them “Maya, your mum and I today went to the doctor and we discovered a bit more about your sibling.”

She looked at them with interest and Aelin took over “what do you think about having a little brother?”

“Can I play with him?”

“Of course,” added Rowan “as soon as he is a bit older you can teach him all your favourite games.”

Quickly she held elf closer at her chest “but Elf is mine.”

“Of course.”

At that she relaxed and went to touch her mum’s belly. 

Rowan took that as a cue to go and make dinner.

He was busy prepping when a set of arms sneaked around his waist “that went well I think?”

Aelin kissed his back “I am not sure how she will react. I was an only child. Will she get jealous?”

Rowan chuckled and kept cooking “I was an only child too but as you know, the Whitethorn are a huge clan. My dad had a brother and a sister and they got a long wonderfully.”

Aelin sighed “I want her to love her brother.”

He turned for a brief moment “as long as we show them both that they are loved, we should be fine. Let’s try and make Maya feel included.”

“She is already proud of being a big sister.”

Rowan kissed her and went back cooking “how did you two get home?”

“Lorcan came to pick up Elide and he offered to get Maya from school and drive us home.”

He relaxed “I am sorry I let you down.”

Aelin moved at his side and looked at him “you did not,” her hand caressed his face “you were at work and then had an emergency. And if Lorcan had not showed up, we would have gone to my mum until you were back.”

Rowan kissed “I love you.”

Aelin pinched his arse “now Whitethorn, get a move on with the chow. You spawn and I are starving.”

He pushed her gently away and finished preparing dinner.

Then while cooking an idea hit him. 

He knew how to propose.

He just needed to enlist Lysandra and Elide in his plan.

taglist

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[aloekat]

giving pokemon teams to d20 characters!

The Unsleeping City S1 & S2

pt 2/?

part 1 || part 2

second verse same as the first, check out part one for my guidelines on how i made the teams! short version is only 4 pokemon per team, no repeats, and little to no shinies or legendaries

fun fact the unsleeping city was actually the first season i thought of pokemon for, and why i started to make teams in the first place!

i also like unsleeping city a uhhh a lot less than fantasy high so my fantasy high picks (part 1) are a lot more thought out and maybe cooler than these picks but hey i'm still happy with these!

oh also unsleeping ch. 1 and 2 spoilers ahead of course :]

Sophia

Purugly - symbolizing La Gran Gata! also it just feels like Sophia would have this pokemon it fits her Vibe

Furfrou (Heart Trim) - she is a hair stylist!! of course she would have the hair stylized dog!!! she mainly keeps her as the heart trim but it doesnt 100 percent always stay that way

Mienshao - cool and cute monk pokemon for obvious reasons lol

Raticate - represents kugrash after he dies(?). shockingly the raticate and purugly get along well, and are actually pretty nice with each other

Ricky

Boltund - there’s no dalmatian pokemon (which there should be maybe) so this is the closest i got to representing Ox! boltunds are VERY fast though so it still works lol

Blastoise - what better pokemon to have as a fireman than a giant water tank? probably got a squirtle when he was young and it evolved as he grew up :]

Kleavor - represents the fireman ax he carried

Machamp - Ricky is all about exercise so naturally i gave him the super buff pokemon. they probably train together and like do pushups or whatever fit people do

Kingston

Dachsbun - representing both the dog he gets in season 2 along with bagels in general, which seems to be a symbol for him (see the vox populi pin)

Drampa - similar to how i imagine the dragon of bleaker’s street would look, it also just feels like an old man of a pokemon (which kingston is)

Blissey - i like to imagine doctors/nurses get blisseys once they like are hired in healthcare to help their trainers with the patients (and also blisseys are absolute TANKS in terms of defense)

Magnezone - Kingston did that cool tech shutdown/takeover thing in one of the season one battles at the stock market and i thought that was cool. and also it fits because Vibes

Misty / Rowan

Gardevoir - a beautiful pokemon that always looks youthful, just like Rowan

Primarina - a singing pokemon that wouldve helped Misty practice her singing for plays

Meloetta - same reason, a singing pokemon lol

Scream Tail - rather than a standard Jigglypuff i would like to imagine an ancient thousand year old one was much more interesting! it also ties to Rowan's reincarnation thing she has goin' on

Iga

Goodra - a dragon to represent the storybook dragon inside of the chest she has! i didn’t do charizard because i saved that one for a future season team (take a guess who)

Gimmighoul - a chest pokemon because. she. she has a chest thats very important to her. yeah!!!

Perrserker - pure vibes i just feel she would have this pokemon lol

Hatterene - also mostly vibes, she Is a psychic so it works but yeah she gets a hatterene because i say so

Kugrash

Rapidash (Galarian) - unicorn totem

Unfezant (Male) - spicy pigeon totem

Ladyba - juicy cockroach totem (i didn’t do kricketune because i want to use it for a later team. can you again guess who)

Arceus - our first true legendary! kugrash literally becomes omnipotent so you know what he can have pokemon god on his team

Cody

Aegislash (Shiny) - it’s literally The sword pokemon of course Cody would have one. it’s shiny because if he spent a long time growing his real sword collection he can spend a long time finding a shiny. also it’s black and red like Thirsting Blade Dark Excalibur Mega Genesis

Grimmsnarl - the most emo pokemon ive ever seen so of course Cody gets it. as a treat

Houndoom - “but aloe why didn’t you give this to Fig?!” shshhhshshhhh. listen my sweet child. houndoom is for the emo boys. which Cody is. and also also it parallels the other paladin on the team, Ricky, and his dog pokemon, Boltund. does that make sense….

Corviknight - emo pokemon #3 on the team. also knight means sword so in a roundabout way it’s another sword related pokemon

Pete

Polteageist - Pete has a teapot in his official art and while yes. it is blue and so is the non-shiny form i think purple in general fits Pete a LOT more than blue so here we are lol

Musharna - literally the dream pokemon this was an easy peasy pick and very obvious

Hypno - another dream-like pokemon but much more scary to maybe represent a sort of nightmare compared to the sweeter dreams from Musharna

Vivillion (Garden Pattern) - representing Luna his green butterfly familiar! i feel like everyone (including the PCs) forget Luna exists and it makes me a little sad :(

=====

that's all for this new york team! i plan on doing a crown of candy next :]

have any suggestions or changes you would make? let me know i would love to hear your takes on the teams :D!

[highqueenofelfhame]

rowaelin // 5.8k words // masterlist // ciwyw masterlist let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing :) i hope you enjoy <3 i can't wait to see all your comments. y'all are kILLING me with them on this one.

As much as he knew he shouldn’t be, Rowan was drunk. Again. 

Tomorrow they had a match against Adarlan on Doranelle’s home field. While Rowan laid on his back,  staring at the ceiling fan above him with a full half-empty bottle of whiskey resting on his stomach, he knew they were going to lose. Not because Adarlan was better or because they wanted it more, but because Rowan was a selfish piece of shit and couldn’t put the bottle down. There was no way he would be in any condition to play tomorrow— at least not well. 

Burying his sorrows at the bottom of the bottle seemed like the better alternative until he could figure out how to repair what he had catastrophically obliterated. It had been a full week with no word from Aelin. Not a single one of those days had passed without him sending an apology text into the void. There had even been a few voicemails Wednesday night that went unanswered. He wouldn’t be surprised if she was erasing them without bothering to listen. He deserved that much. 

Rowan Whitethorn had never had social media. Ever. Not even in high school when it was just becoming a cool thing to do. Nobody needed to know that much about his life. At this point in his career, his agent and PR team begged him to do it because it would garner him more popularity. Even Lorcan posted on instagram from time to time and kept everyone happy. 

The thing that finally drove Rowan to making an instagram account was stalking Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. It was easier for his thumbs to scroll through her feed while nursing sips of whiskey, trying not to double tap on any pictures. He was pathetic enough— Aelin didn’t need to be aware of his sulking and pining. 

This all came after he googled her name paired with various words like ‘spouse,’ ‘husband,’ ‘wife,’ and ‘wedding.’ Nothing came back with a result, but it had been lurking in his mind when she didn’t answer his question earlier. Besides, Rhoe Galathynius very well could have been her father-in-law. As it were, she wasn’t married, and Evalin and Rhoe only had one child: their daughter. At least if she was married, there was no record of it. No photos of her in an elegant white gown standing next to the love of her life. 

Good. He could deal with that. 

What he couldn’t deal with was the photos of her in bikinis, arms wrapped around the waists of other men. She was nestled between the pair on the deck of a yacht all three of them with wide smiles and sunglasses covering their eyes. Her bathing suit looked more like lingerie and Rowan had never wished so hard for summer to come back around than he was right then. 

There were pictures of her with a stunning brunette woman, both of them dressed in finery or night-out attire depending on where they were headed. Aelin with a full face of makeup, with sultry dark eyes and a full pouty lip was enough to drive him into madness. 

He found photographs from holidays with her family, Aelin perched on a couch in comfy clothes and thick socks with Aedion Ashryver standing behind her. Further down her page he found the ones from years ago of her on Aedion’s shoulders after he won some match or another. It was captions Always my hero. 

Lower and lower he went until he finally hit her first post: a simple kingsflame flower from nine years ago with the caption Fireheart. He supposed that was where she garnered the name for her foundation. Gods above, she was incredible. A super-hero amongst ordinary women. 

Rowan scrolled back towards the top of her instagram, all the way back to the most recent one. It was from their day downtown, when they had bought a piece of chocolate hazelnut cake and sat outside the bakery. Aelin was laughing around her thumb that she held between her teeth. At that moment, he had been teasing her about getting the frosting everywhere. Behind the camera he was smiling just as brilliantly as she was. The light in her eyes, her smile, the utter joy that radiated off of her… It was enough to make him breathless all over again. 

“Fuck,” he murmured to himself, heart squeezing and soul dying at how absurdly beautiful she was. It didn’t seem fair. Everything about her was perfect. Not just outside, but inside, too.  Aelin Galathynius was the most selfless and loving person he had ever met. Inside and out, she shone with the light of a thousand suns. It made it impossible to look away and broke his heart that he had driven her away so sharply.

“M’such a bloody dobber,” he mumbled, zooming in on her face as close as it would get, until she was little more than a monochromatic cluster of pixels, none of her features distinguishable. 

The phone fumbled where he held it over his face, falling directly onto it. Rowan swore, the taste of metal blooming over his tongue where his tooth had cut through his lip. Worse than that, though, was when he noticed the giant heart that appeared in the center of the picture he’d been staring at. 

Rowan had accidentally liked it. Just as quickly, he unliked it and tossed his phone to the other end of the couch. Jail. He needed to be in phone jail. 

It had over ten thousand likes and three hundred comments. There was a chance she would never notice the notification appearing and disappearing. She might never notice. It didn’t stop the ice creeping into his veins, though. The idea that she would realize how utterly pathetic he was, as if all the texts weren’t indication enough. 

Rowan swore violently under his breath and grabbed his phone again. With bleary, bloodshot eyes he opened their text thread to send off another message. Just as his fingers started their drunken dance over the letters once again, his phone began to ring loudly. The vibration shook him to his core as he beheld the name flashing on his screen, a photo of the two of them laying on her couch flashing in front of him. The sight of it knocked the wind out of him. 

Aelin. 

Fuck. Shit. Mala fucking fry him. 

“Hello?” he said, breathless like he’d been running a marathon. 

“Hi.” Aelin’s voice was quiet. Rowan could imagine her sitting in the middle of her couch, a tv show paused. 

“I am so sorry, baby,” he began, letters and syllables stringing together with no space between. “I need to explain, to—”

“Did you just like that picture on my instagram?”

“I…” it was long and drawn out as he squinted at the ceiling, trying to find a way out of it. There wasn’t one. Heat crept up his neck and bloomed over his cheeks like rose petals. “Ye-yeah. That was me.”

“Are you drunk?” was her follow up question. On the other end of the phone it sounded like she was rolling over in bed. Gods, he would love to be wrapped up in bed with her. The expanse of her golden skin under his hands wasn’t beat out by anything, not even football. 

“No,” was his quick response. 

“You sound drunk.” It was impossible to tell what, exactly, her emotions were. Rowan swallowed thickly, setting the bottle on the coffee table and nudging it out of reach. 

“I sound like a pathetic bastard that ruined something perfect.” 

“You’re definitely drunk.” If Rowan wasn’t positive that she hated him, he might mistake her tone as amusement. 

“I miss you. And I’m sorry,” he paused to hiccup, “And I want you to tell me what to do to fix what I’ve broken.” A heavy, resigned sigh came through the phone and Rowan froze.

“Start with sobering up–” Fuck. She was going to hang up, and he had blown his only chance at making things right. Shit.

“Don’t hang up,” Rowan pleaded, lip tucking between his bottom teeth while he waited for her to respond. 

“Get some sleep and win your game tomorrow. After that… maybe we can talk.” If that was what it took, then yes. A thousand times yes he would do both of those things. Anything to get her to talk to him, anything so he could hold her, feel her lips on his skin, taste her and feel her beneath him.

“Do you promise?” A schoolyard thing to say, but he couldn’t help it. The gift of hearing her voice again after an entire week of deafening silence was the most beautiful thing he could ever imagine hearing. If he could, he’d bottle it up and get drunk off it. It was better than any alcohol, any drug. 

“I promise,” she replied, and Rowan swore he heard a hint of laughter weaving between each letter of those two, simple words. That couldn’t be right, though. Aelin was mad at him. They wouldn’t be laughing together anytime soon.

“Okay.” It felt stupid to say, but it was the only word he could find. 

“Okay.” Aelin’s voice was still soft and told him nothing of the status of his forgiveness, or if he needed to beg on his knees and worship her as penance. He would never, ever stop if that was what she required. “Goodnight, Rowan.” 

The line went dead before he could say anything else and a new zap of determination electrified his blood. If she wanted a win, she would get it. But he had to get sober first. 

With a pained groan, he pulled himself upright. A few deep breaths later the room wasn’t spinning quite so quickly and he was able to stumble to the kitchen. The smell of coffee made his nose wrinkle when he opened the bag. It quickly filled the space of the kitchen as he dumped the beans into the grinder, wincing at the shriek it made. Coffee and bread would help sober him up, and then he would focus on fluid intake to not be a useless sack of meat on the field tomorrow. 

He leaned against his counter, ignoring incoming messages from his teammates checking on him, and shoved half a piece of bread into his mouth. A cold shower would wake him up, and tons of water and painkillers before bed would help the hangover tomorrow. 

Anything Aelin wanted, he would give her. Starting tomorrow night by defeating the Adarlan Wyverns and handing it to her on a silver platter. 

When he finally drifted off to sleep, his phone screen was still illuminated in his palm: that final photo he’d taken of her at the bakery wearing a smile just for him. 

~*~

As soon as she took one step into the Neon Moon, she found Connall looking over at her with a healthy dose of surprise in his eyes. Aelin moved through the crowd that had gathered to watch the game, managing to snag a single barstool in front of the beer tap. 

“Water, please,” she half-shouted over the loud voices filling the room. As soon as it was in her hands she took a long drink before placing it down on a napkin in front of her. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself.” A crooked grin spread across his face and he leaned forward on his forearms. “Watching the game?” 

“Against my better judgment,” she sighed, ruffling her fingers through her hair. Now that she knew that he played for Doranelle, she just couldn’t miss it. Had she known from the get-go, there wouldn’t have been a single game that she missed. Even if it meant she’d be catching up on work during the short commercial breaks. “How much do you know?”

“Oh just… everything.” 

Aelin groaned and looked up at the ceiling. She wasn’t upset that he’d told his friends, his support system. Rowan needed that, just like she did. Though she had yet to tell her family, she was going to do it soon. Maybe tomorrow or the day after. Some of the dust had to settle with Rowan first. 

Though she was content to let him stew for a few more days, the single like she’d gotten from an account called actuallywhitethorn made her pick up the phone. A result of her doom-scrolling before bed, the notification had dropped from the top of her screen. By the time she clicked her notification icon, that particular like from that specific account was gone. It was like fate, she decided, for her to have seen it in its brevity. If he was miserable and pining enough to accidentally like an instagram picture, it wouldn’t hurt to call him. So she did.

At first, she didn’t know what to say, but as he talked it became more and more clear that he was very drunk. All his words had melded into one long syllable, and the fact that he was likely drinking away his feelings and problems had tugged at her heart. He really was adorable when he was drunk, calling her baby and trying his hardest to apologize, begging her not to hang up the phone. As much as she really did want to talk to him, it wasn’t a conversation to have while he was only half-aware. The apology she deserved needed to come from his sober lips, not drunk, loose ones.

After they hung up, Aelin had decided she would go to the bar to watch the game. It didn’t seem like a feat she could conquer at home alone on her couch. Even with Lysandra a phone call away, it felt too big to do on her own. The bar made sense.

“Congratulations?” Connall offered, and it was the first time she’d really picked up on any shyness or hesitancy from the man. 

“Thank you.” It was still so new, so foreign. The racing of her thoughts hadn’t died down about it yet, her emotions didn’t have a full grasp on the situation. “How is he?”

“I think you already know the answer to that.” Kind of. If his texts were any inclination to his mental state, he was having a rough go of things at the moment. “Feels like a piece of shite.”

“Yeah, well.” That was a little deserved after what he’d said to her. Connall didn’t seem to disagree, merely shrugging as he followed her eyes to the television.

The game had been on for fifteen minutes, and Doranelle had scored one point. Adarlan had nothing. It was a bit of a feat to score so early on in the game, showing just how skilled Rowan and his teammates were. A camera zoomed in on the players, a towering, dark-haired man with a glove tucked under his arm, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face. Aelin’s eyes widened and her head whipped toward Connall when the spitting image of him appeared on the screen. The only difference was the color of the curls: Connall’s were black, his brother’s golden. 

“You have a twin?” By way of answer, Connall merely winked and nodded back at the TV where Rowan had come into view. His uniform for home games was navy blue with white letters. Hands braced on his hips, he joined his teammates where they talked. It was only when he turned around that she saw how horrible he looked. 

Though his skin was golden brown as ever, his face was ashen. Dark circles clung beneath his eyes and his bottom lip was swollen and scabbed over. The sweat gathering at his temples didn’t do anything at all to make him look well, if anything he just looked sicker. 

“Whitethorn looks a bit… peaky,” Connall said cautiously, the corners of his lips tugging downward into a scowl.

“As drunk as he was when I called him last night, that makes perfect sense.” She was frowning, too. The most put together part of him was his hair, the single french braid down the center until it all met in a mess of a bun on the top of his head. 

As soon as the whistle blew, he inhaled and exhaled a deep breath. That was when the cameras zoomed back out to take in the entire field, all the players getting into position. Aelin watched closely, one eye on the ball and the other always aware of where Rowan was in the frame.

For a while, it was a lot of passing back and forth, working up and down the field, the ball getting stolen one way or the other. Once, Adarlan got close to scoring but the goalie for Doranelle was quick to block it and pass it back down the field. Another of Rowan’s teammates was quick to get it back toward the Adarlan goal. It was passed back and forth between a few as they worked further and further down the pitch until a pass from Connall’s twin had the ball being juggled between Rowan’s feet.

Watching Rowan play brought back the old feelings she felt watching Aedion. Her competitive temper rose in her chest as he sprinted downfield with the ball between his feet. Somehow, he never tripped or stumbled. When he passed it off to a dark-haired man, Vaughan, Connall told her, it was with tricky footwork that he made look easy. Seconds later and a single pass back toward him, Rowan lunged from behind a crimson jersey. By some grace of the gods he managed to land the perfect kick that arched beautifully through the air. Adarlan’s goalie missed it by a fingertip.

The bar became deafening– some of them rooting for Doranelle, others wanting them to lose for the sake of Varese’s team. On the TV, Rowan’s teammates pulled him off the ground and jostled him amongst them, Connall’s golden-haired brother smacking a kiss to Rowan’s sweaty forehead. 

If Aelin didn’t know any better, she would say his teammates were being a little more gentle with him than they might be otherwise. Rowan’s jaw remained clenched tightly, that muscle feathering as he nodded to the only person on the team that was taller than him where he stood down the field.

“Who is their goalie?”

“Lorcan Salvaterre. Team captain and one of Rowan’s closest friends. My twin’s name is Fenrys.” Aelin nodded and rested her chin on her hands as the next play started, polished blue nails digging into her palms. She knew of most of these names from Aedion’s soccer days and the afternoons at her parents house where her father prattled on about different team rosters.

The minutes ticked by, Rowan fiercely focused on the game. That look of sheer determination never left his eyes, even in the brief moments of reprieve he had to gather his wits. Whenever he could, Connall hovered near her for the moral support she’d come in search of. It meant more to her than she could ever put into words. Being in a new city, far away from her support system, with no one else to lean on? It was really nice to know he was there. Even if they barely knew each other. 

When Adarlan scored, Aelin had over half the pub groaned. The Doranelle players looked beyond pissed. Rowan and Lorcan shared matching expressions, both of their jaws grinding as they shook their heads before getting back into position. 

It led them into more volleying back and forth, the ball little more than a blur between feet. And then it was back in Rowan’s possession. It was like the wind sang for him, pushing him faster as he bolted down the field. Almost as soon as he made his goal, the one that would get them a point ahead though, a whistle blew and a yellow-checkered flag was waving. 

“Shit,” she murmured, closely eyeing the playback. It was a fair call, he had been offside. When the camera showed Rowan again though, he was pointed at the goal, mouth wrapping around words that looked a lot like fucking bullshit. The words weren’t more than a whisper as she said, “Rowan, you stupid idiot.”

Connall chuckled, despite the dire situation at hand. She knew he was only laughing at her, not his friend’s situation. Still, she wadded up a napkin and threw it at his head. It nailed him in the temple.

“It’s not funny,” she hissed, nibbling on the end of her straw, a sick feeling roiling in her gut.

The referee pulled a yellow card brandishing it in front of his face. A spark of anger flickered behind his eyes, mouth opening to spew something else when Fenrys grabbed him by the shoulders and made him turn away. Aelin exhaled a tight breath as Rowan shook his head on screen. Fenrys said something in Rowan’s ear and he nodded, lips thin in a stiff line.. It was enough to make him nod and hustle to his spot on the field, shaking his arms out when he came to a stop.  

Beneath the bar, Aelin’s legs were bouncing. Butterflies flitted their way through her insides enough that she braced her hands against her stomach as though it would calm them. It was impossible to look away as Adarlan took their free kick from the offside, launching the ball halfway down the field and into another frustrating back and forth between the two teams. 

This was always the part of the sport that Aelin hated. No, perhaps hated was too strong of a word. The build up always made her feel nauseous, waiting for one team to make one quick move to kick everyone into high gear to avoid a goal or make one. Being pregnant, it was worse. It felt as though her stomach was in the back of her throat.

Just before the end of the second half, disaster struck. Aelin saw it coming. She was pretty sure everyone watching at home or in the stands did, too. Connall swore filthily as Rowan ran for the ball and dove feet first to knock it away from Adarlan. Except in the process, his cleats clashed into the other player’s feet and they both went down in a heap on the field. 

“What the fuck did you say to him?” Connall asked over his shoulder, never taking his eyes off the screen as a ref jogged across the pitch. 

“I told him to win and maybe we would talk! I didn’t tell him to–” A yellow card appeared in the ref’s hand, followed by a red one and Aelin lost all of her words. Both were for Rowan. 

“I think he took that a little too do or die.” And so it seemed he had.

Distantly, she heard the announcer saying it was the first time he’d ever been red carded in his entire career. The patron’s of the bar murmured amongst themselves, many of them asking what the hell was wrong with Whitethorn tonight. 

The cameras zoomed in to where he walked off the field, sweat trickling down his face. Their coach followed him to the end of the field, the words he muttered only for Rowan to hear. Though he looked ready to hit anyone that was close enough, Rowan simply nodded. Fenrys caught his arm just before he walked off, mouth moving too quickly for Aelin to decipher. 

The last clear shot of him was walking into the tunnel and off the pitch, body rigid and muscles rippling while he pulled his jersey off his body. 

“I… I need to go,” Aelin said to Connall, who only nodded in response. She threw a few bills on the counter as a thank you and pushed her way out of the pub, walking as fast as her feet would carry her to her rental car down the street. 

~*~

Even though his team had another win under their belt by the time the game was over, it had been a fucking disaster. Rowan watched the second half on his phone from the comfort of his car after getting kicked out. 

It was the first time in his eleven year career he’d ever received two yellow cards, and consequently a red card, and been ejected from a game. All that anger and frustration from the week, from his hangover, had boiled to a head and exploded on the field. Next week he would have to sit out, too. 

Failing his teammates didn’t sit right with him. Lorcan was probably fuming and Rowan anticipated a less than friendly visit from him tomorrow. Coach Malakai was mad, too. The last thing he told Rowan was to get his shit together before practice on Monday. Only Fenrys, who never missed a chance to be a jokester about anything, had murmured words of encouragement before he left the field. 

By the time he pulled into his driveway, he was exhausted. His entire body ached from that last dive. There would definitely be bruises on his hips and thighs tomorrow from the way Ress Taylor landed on top of him. All he wanted to do was let his muscles thaw under a shower so hot it burned. A glass of whiskey would be great, too. Not that he deserved it after his performance on the pitch.

The game was… rough.The entire day was rough. From the time he’d woken up his mood had been in the pits of hell. Drunk Rowan hadn’t been able to piece together what Aelin said just before they hung up, but sober Rowan did as soon as his alarm sounded. 

Win your game tomorrow. 

Not win the game, like she used to say when she thought he was the coach. She didn’t ask him to wish the boys good luck like she had in the weeks prior. The words had changed. Win your game. The game he would be playing in, that belonged to him. She had given him a personal goal and though he helped his team achieve it, he still felt like he failed. Especially since he would have to sit out next week, too, because of the red card.

It had been stupid of him to think she wouldn’t find out the truth before he had the chance to tell her. Everything had just gone to such absolute shit before he had the chance. Rowan Whitethorn would be groveling at the feet of Aelin Galathynius for the duration of his life, and then some more after he crossed into whatever afterworld awaited him. 

The news of his career was just another lie he had to make right. All day it sat with him, festering like an open wound. It wasn’t that he suddenly felt bitter about his job. He didn’t. Rowan loved what he did, he loved the sport. It was his greatest passion and love in life. But Aelin deserved to hear about it from him. Not knowing how she found out only made it worse, until everything he felt was bleeding out into the astroturf beneath his feet and getting him thrown out of a game.

Upon pulling into his driveway, something white in front of his house caught his eye. His heart came to a stop as soon as his car did. Rowan didn’t even bother to pull into his garage, just parked beside the white SUV and stared at his porch. It felt like a fever dream, getting home from a hard game and seeing Aelin on his porch swing. The wind slowly moved her back and forth, but when she saw him step out of the car she stood, hands sliding into her back pockets. 

“I told you to win, not get a red card before the second half was up.” The lilting tone of her voice made his knees buckle. It forced him to gather himself before approaching, slowly walking up the stairs until he stood one below her.

“My mouth keeps getting me in trouble this week, it seems,” he said back, mouth completely dry. It was an effort to make his tongue form the words with his lips. “But it got you to my house, so I suppose there are worse things that could have happened.”

“Few things are worse than a red card.”

“Not talking to you might beat out all of them,” he said smoothly, fingers sliding along each of his keys until he found the one for his front door. He held it up between two fingers and Aelin nodded, stepping to the side and gesturing toward the door. 

She wore simple leggings and an oversized t-shirt, a pair of socks and slides on her feet. Though she wore no makeup and her hair was twisted half-hazardly onto the top of her head, she had never looked so beautiful. Lorcan would laugh himself hoarse if he heard the thoughts Rowan had about this woman, yet he didn’t care. Even in her most dressed down and casual state, she was breathtaking. 

He led her inside, locking the door behind them. It was late enough he assumed she would be staying for a while. Few people made a nearly two hour drive to turn around and leave upon arrival. Then again, he hadn’t seen last weekend going that way, either, and it’s exactly how that night ended.

“You played…”

“Shittily,” he offered, hanging his keys on a small hook by the front door.

“Brutally,” Aelin amended, slipping off her shoes and heading to the kitchen. Rowan watched as she grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and handed one off to him before heading for the couch. “Have you eaten?” 

“No. Have you?”

“Not since lunch.” Phone in hand, she curled up in the corner and pulled a blanket over her lap. “I doubt we have any notable options, but Taco Bell is open and is shockingly one of the few things not making me sick at the moment.”

Rowan watched her from where he stood in the center of the room. It didn’t feel real. None of today did, really. It could be the hangover talking, but the day felt like a horrible dream. He was scared to move, scared that if he sat on the couch with her that she would vanish into nothing and he would wake up alone in his bed. 

“Are you going to just stand there all night?” Her eyes didn’t leave her phone while presumably selecting everything she wanted to eat, eyes narrowing at the screen briefly in thought. A moment later she held it out for him. Rowan stared at her, heart thundering away in his chest. “Rowan.”

“Right. Thank you,” he murmured, taking the phone and trying not to acknowledge the rush he felt when his fingertips grazed her palm. Not big on fast food most of the time, it took him a little longer to pick his dinner. “What do I owe you?”

Aelin just snorted as she submitted the order, eyes rolling slightly before placing her phone face down on the couch next to her, head tilting as she said, “Come to think of it, maybe you do. I think your twenty dollar fast food order might do me in completely. I’ll have to take out a loan.” 

“I can Venmo it,” Rowan said dumbly, reaching for the phone in his back pocket.

“I don’t need your money any more than you need mine.” Once there might have been a teasing edge to her voice. Her delivery was much drier than he was used to from her. But there it was. That stupid thing he’d said before he could stop himself, the words that brought everything they were building crashing down.

“Sit,” she told him, patting the cushion next to her. Rowan was careful to leave plenty of space between them. There were definitely lines and boundaries now. The risk of getting ensnared in one was too great and he had a lot of apologies to make. With his arms elbows braced on his knees and hands clasped loosely between them, he stared at the floor. 

“You’re actually getting a pretty sweet deal.” Aelin sighed, shifting so she was facing him full on. His green eyes didn’t leave the rug. “According to google my net worth is two-and-a-half times what yours is. Isn’t that crazy?”

“I didn’t know,” he finally said. As much as he wanted to look at her, he couldn’t. He was a fucking coward. Guilt was a disgusting, oily thing crawling beneath his skin. It threatened to consume him whole even worse now that he was talking to her than it had the rest of the week. 

Aelin sighed again, finally pulling his attention to her face. She laid her head back against the sofa and a few tendrils of hair fell down to frame her face.  Rowan’s fingers curled into fists to fight the urge to sweep them behind her ear. She must have sensed it because she did it herself. The blue of her fingernails was the same blue as his jersey. Part of him wondered if it had been on purpose. 

“I think tonight we can call a truce.” Aelin seemed to notice his gaze on her fingers because she folded her arms over her chest, curling her hands so her blue nails were hidden. “We’ll eat, sleep, and then tomorrow… Tomorrow we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” he agreed. The word was falling off his tongue as soon as she finished speaking. Her cheeks seemed to twitch with amusement, and if he had reacted differently last week she would probably be smiling. 

“I am curious, though. Did you make an instagram for the sole purpose of stalking me?” 

Rowan cringed. His eyes squeezed shut, lips rolling between his teeth as he looked away. Beside him it sounded like Aelin laughing, though it was little more than puffs of air coming out of her nose. It would have been easy to go on the defensive, to add one more lie to their crumpled house of cards. Instead, he went with the truth.

“I missed you. I just wanted to see your face.” He looked back over at her then, but it was she who looked away now. Her eyes were glassy, the dim lighting making the unshed tears in her eyes sparkle. “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s these fucking hormones.” She dismissed him with a wave of her hand when he started to reach for her. It stung more than he would ever let on, but he retreated and dropped his hand into his lap while she used the collar of her shirt to dry her eyes. 

It was silent after that, the two of them alternating from staring at nothing to sneaking glances at the other. Rowan only knew because he caught her staring at him more than once when he thought he could take a second to drink her in. It was only when the doorbell finally rang and he stood that she said his name, stopping him when he was halfway to the front door. Turning to look at her, eyebrows raised in question, he watched her lick her lips. 

“I missed you, too.” It was barely a whisper, spoken so softly he might have dreamed it if he was any more tired. 

Still, it was enough to get him through the rest of their silent night. Enough that it didn’t hurt as much as he thought it would when he insisted she sleep in his bed without him. Enough to chase him with sweet dreams when he finally slipped into the guest room down the hall and tumbled into a deep sleep. 

@elentiyawhitethorn @autumnbabylon @fancysludgeshoelamp  @wordsafterhours @live-the-fangirl-life @the-hospitality-of-knives @tangledraysofsunshine @readandlisten @westofmoon @rowanaelinn  @morganofthewildfire @writtenonreceipts @feynightlight @emster1622-blog @scarblx @thefaetrove @loveyatopluto @actuallybarb @peppermint-fae @the-devils-own @scottmcgivemeacall @livingmylifeforme  @wordsafterhours @foreverfallingforthestars @llyncooljones @emily-gsh @loosesimplicity @emilyrose111294  @charlizeed @aelinchocolatelover @cretaceous-therapod @sayosdreams @fireheart-violet @the-regal-warrior @backtobl4ck @shyvioletcat @mariamuses

[chaosofmanyfandoms]

Hi!! Could you maybe do a rowan x fem reader request where she’s a new student at nevermore and first meets him when he’s having an asthma flare up or something? And while most other students are making fun of him bc of it, she helps him and they form a friendship/eventual relationship? Thank you so much! 💝✨

Adorable | Rowan Laslow x fem reader

I don't know much about asthma so this probably isn't completely accurate.

It was your first day of class at Nevermore, and to say you were nervous was an understatement. You hardly knew anyone and your roomie, who you had become quick friends with, wasn't in any of your classes until later in the day.

You had struggled to find your first class, almost ending up late. There was only one seat open, so you sat down making the boy next to you look up.

"Hi." You said, getting your pencil and notebook out of your bag.

The teacher didn't give the boy a chance to respond, starting the lesson. You took notes for just about everything the teacher said, trying to absorb all of the information.

About halfway thought the lesson you noticed the boy next to you coughing and taking a puff of his inhaler. When he started breathing quickly you started getting a little worried.

The teacher now noticed that the boy was struggling to breath.

"Can someone please take Rowan to the nurse?" The teacher asked.

When the boy, Rowan, stood up to leave and nobody offered to go with him you shoved your things in your bag.

"I'll go with him." You said, slinging your bag onto your shoulder.

The teacher thanked you, but you just grabbed Rowan's bag and walked with him out the door.

"I hope you know where we're going because I sure as hell don't." You said, making him laugh a little making him couch again. He took another puff of his inhaler that didn’t seem to be working.

"Yeah, I do." He took a moment to breath.

"Thanks for...coming with me." Rowan said, sending you a shy smile.

"Yeah, no problem. I just want you to be okay." You said, pushing open the door to the nurse's office.

"Oh dear, take a seat Rowan." The nurse said, apparently used to this.

"You can go back to class now, I can handle him." The nurse said with a smile as she dug around in a cabinet.

"Okay, I'll see you later." You said, smiling at Rowan before leaving.

"She's cute." The nurse said as soon as you left, handing Rowan a new inhaler.

After that the two of you sat together in classes when you could and helped eachother with homework. You quickly became friends, hanging out whenever you got the chance.

"Do you want to go with me to Jericho this weekend?" He asked nervously.

The two of you were sitting side by side on his bed in his dorm, working on an essay. Rowan had been trying to get the guts to ask you out all week, but was too scared that you would reject him.

"I thought we were already planning on it?" You asked, looking up from your notebook.

"We were, I was just thinking that maybe we could do it as a date? But if you don't want to, that's fine." He said, nervously watching you for an answer.

"I'd love to." You said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.

He grinned at you, his cheeks turning pink.

"Can I kiss you?" Rowan asked softly.

You smiled pressing you lips softly to his. When you pulled away, he pulled you back to peck you on the lips.

"You're adorable." You said, making his cheeks go red again.

"You're doing it on purpose." He groaned.

"Doing what on purpose?" You asked, knowing exactly what.

"You're making me blush." Rowan said, playfully glaring at you.

"Only because you're so freaking cute when you're flustered." You grinned.

"Stop it." He said, feeling his face getting warmer and probably growing more red.

"Never."

[mr-orion]

ok I must have more lore on this Icarus I keep seeing since I’m officially in love with him and want to kiss

he and I should kiss

also may I draw him bc that drawing you posted of him gossiping tickles my brain so much-

"I guess if the inspiration strikes... me being your muse must happen."

Oh boy. He's a bit of a firecracker and not very PG. He's in fact, kind of mean. As for the kissing, you and Ray both, though I think Icarus will shake you down for all your cash before you start getting any affection. As for drawing, yeah! I'm always grateful for any drawings and honestly treasure each one I get!

I don't see the harm in saying it as it is. He's a prostitute and escort. Man is raking in the big bucks working under Stags INC. The only reason Ray and him are friends is because Icarus has a lot of intel on the people manning the cartels. While Ray initially got his cooperation by bargaining to sweep his drug use under the carpet, he found Ray is a fun guy and not too sleazy to be around. Plus he's fun to tease, which is Icarus' favorite thing.

He's a Stav'raw, as opposed to Ray who is an Auveri. Unlike Ray he cannot fly. He has dense bones and his wings are only good for a glide. Which, he doesn't preen them. He was never taught so he is absolutely matted with feathers he hasn't thought to pull out. He's actually much more vibrant but because he's so fucking crusty with feathers from his whole existence you can't really tell. Additionally the sclera of his eyes is black. Along with his mouth and lips. He also gave himself a split tongue.

He comes from a very neglectful household with a mother who was a first generation Earthian and a non-existent father. He found his profession as a way out of that bad situation. Though Icarus' dream job is being able to help kids someday. He wants to be a pediatrician for alien children, believing that if one adult had noticed the abuse happening to him he could have been helped.

While Icarus doesn't think he'll make it because of his job history, Ray encourages him. Also reassures him that there are other ways he can help people. While Icarus is bummed he's only just starting to get into the 9 years of schooling at 28, he remains hopeful.

His hobbies consist of video games, nursing classes, clubbing, taking his dogs for walks along the beach, and riding his motorcycles around.

Another fun fact is that this man is absolutely the best of friends with Rays older brother Rowan. Though he has no clue the two are related because they look nothing alike and it's just never comes up. It will be chaos when all three of them figure it out and Rowan tries to beat him for trying to rizz up his beloved sibling. Ray will also get a scolding for bringing sweet, innocent Icarus into his less ethical detective practices. Ha.

Additionally, in freak coincidence Rowans child, is also his niece! He genuinely had no clue until one night in a deep conversation his best friend opened up about how similar Icarus looks to his niece, Onyx's egg donor. Icarus developed an even deeper hatred for his twin sister that night upon Rowan opening up even more about what his sister did to him. (It gets real fucking dark, so I'll spare those details.)

Icarus absolutely hates talking about his blood relations unless its Onyx. Who he treasures deeply and is so proud of. And by proxy Rowan. Of course. Who is his bro, his best friend, his pogchamp.

I can't think of much more, if you want to know something specific please feel free to send more asks!

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Could you maybe do a rowan x reader request where maybe he has an asthma attack during class and the reader offers to take him to the infirmary, and they get to talking while there and they realize that they like each other? no worries if not, Ty! <3

You have no idea how much I enjoed writing this. Rowan is such a sweetheart and I love him. Thank you for the request anon and I hope you like it<3

A trip to the infirmary

pairing: Rowan Laslow x gn!reader

synopsis: You volunteer to take Rowan to the infirmary after he has an asthma attack and the two of you get to talk a bit.

warnings: none I think (?)

word count: 0.9k

“And that´s how…”, you are barely paying attention to what the teacher is saying. 

Too busy looking at the boy sitting at the table to your left. The way he looked so pretty when concentrating on what was happening on the front of the classroom. The way he wore his uniform and hair so neatly, his glasses the only thing getting out of place every once in a while, by slipping down his nose only to be pushed back up again. You had never talked to him outside of class assignments, but he was just really nice to look at. Directing your gaze to the front of the room before you get caught your attention gets called back in an instant, as you hear heavy coughs and wheezing on your left side. It takes a while for Rowan to find his inhaler, but even after using it numerous times, he´s still coughing rigorously. 

“Could someone accompany Mr. Laslow to the infirmary, please? “, your teacher asks. 

There are a few students mumbling to the person sitting next to them. Giggling can be heard all throughout the classroom, but no one raises a hand. You didn’t know Rowan well, but you knew about how he was treated by the greater part of Nevermores student body. It took a very severe case of wilful ignorance not to see it or hear the rumours that were spread. And you also knew there was nothing funny about an asthma attack. 

“I will do it.“, you say already standing up. 

There’s more giggling and whispers.   

“Are you okay to walk? “, you ask him quietly as he stand on slightly shaky legs. He only nods as an answer, but you keep an arm close to him just in case.

It takes a while to get to the infirmary, due to the location of the room you were taught in, which makes you all the more glad to see the nurse tending to Rowan as his condition improves gradually. 

“You can go back to class if you want, you know? I´ll… I´ll be fine.”, he is the first to break your silence as he rolled down the sleeve of his shirt. 

“What? Don´t be silly. Of course I´m gonna wait here with you.”, the smile that grazes your lips is shy but for some reason it warms his heart a little. “I´m actually kinda glad for every second I don´t have to spend with our… lovely classmates.” 

“Yeah? How come?”, he raises and eyebrow. 

“You know, just something about being an outcast among outcasts. They don´t really like me. A requited sentiment to be fair, but yeah...”, the moment your smile turns bitter for a second he relaxes a bit. “Are you really okay? That looked like a pretty bad attack…” 

“Yeah, I´m alright. They used to be a lot worse actually, so…”, he let the sentence trail off. 

You seemed so genuine in your worry. Before he could give it another thought or either of you get the chance to say anything to keep the conversation going though one of the nurses walks back in to kick you out. You quickly stand up to put your jacket on, but it is too fast to grab and so instead the clothe falls to the ground. Cursing under your breath, you bend down to pick it up, but freeze halfway through coming back up. Rowan had followed you suit and bent down to pick the blazer up as well, which left you to look into his deep brown eyes.

It was as if he had put you under a spell, standing there for what could have been hours as well as seconds. The only thing that ultimately kicked the two you out of the stupor, the voice of the caregiver trying to shoo you out once more. One quick glance tells you it is time for lunch anyway. 

“Hey, you wanna grab something to eat?”, you ask in hopes to be able to spend some more time with him. 

“Uh… sure.” 

Together you find your favorite corner in the library, giving you the perfect place to talk, hidden away from the other students. It takes a while for him to relax into the conversation entirely, which who are you to hold that against him, but by the time lunch break nears its end he had even cracked a couple of jokes. Finding yourself unable to stop smiling as you talk about literally anything that comes to mind. You didn´t understand why people picked on him so much before today already, but now you understood it even less. Rowan, aside from being very pretty, was kind, genuinely interesting, smart and it was so easy to get lost in his sweet chocolate-colored eyes.

It feels too soon, when you have to go back to separate classes.  

“I really enjoyed spending this break with you, Rowan.”, you say as you stand on top of the stairs. 

The silence settling between the two of you, the nervousness in the pit of your stomach, the last traces of his smile slowly fading at the thought of having to go back out there and the rosy tint coloring his cheeks… You know what you are gonna say next before you can even open your mouth to do so. 

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” 

He looks at you long and carefully before he gives you an answer. Under his gaze your nervousness turns to slight nausea to bubbling excitement when he finally speaks the words you hoped to hear. 

“I´d actually really like that.”

[kxhbee]

Love From You

Part Two

~ Rowan Laslow x Reader

~ Friends to lovers

~ Fluff, light angst

~ 1,913 words

~ You fell first but Rowan fell harder

~ Not my best work

Key:

~ Y/N: YOUR NAME

~ Y/L/N: YOUR LAST NAME

~ A/N: AUTHORS NOTE

God this is so awkward.

“Is it true?”

“What?”

“You don’t look like an outcast to me.”

“What?” He says again.

“Is your vocabulary limited?”

“No.”

“A new word!! We’re getting somewhere.”

Silence.

Why did I insult him what the fuck was I thinking???

“Sorry, that was rude.”

“No, it’s okay.”

More silence.

“Sorry again. The fall you took was pretty rough. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay. Thanks. You’re pretty strong.”

“You’re not here because of the fall, are you?”

“No! No, I’m here for a new asthma pump.”

“Oh, good. I’d feel bad if I sent you to the nurse.”

Even more silence.

“So… what brings you here? Are you just here for me?” He winces. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

You laugh.

He’s so cute.

“Don’t worry, I’m here to get more pills.”

He raises an eyebrow. “What for?”

“Oh, the usual, getting high, penis enlargement, anti-anxiety.” You laugh again. “Just for headaches. nothing special.”

“Oh. Okay.”

More silence. It’s not uncomfortable silence, something about him makes the silence comfortable.

“Oh! right, introductions. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“I’m Rowan Laslow.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rowan Laslow.” You grin at him, and he shoots a smile back before putting his head down, almost as if he’s shy.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Y/N, Y/L/N.”

“So… back to the start of our conversation.” You sit down next him before continuing. “What makes you think you’re an outcast?”

He doesn’t answer straight away.

Did I overstep?

You’re about to apologise but he starts speaking again before you get a chance.

“I… don’t have many friends.” He begins. “The closest person I have is Xavier Thorpe, and he’s just a roommate. I’m not good at any extra-curricular activities and I spend my time in the library studying my subjects so I can at least be good at one thing. I’ve got asthma… which means I can’t even do fencing like everyone else. I’m an outcast no matter where I go, which I never thought would be possible in Nevermore of all places. I don’t live up to the standards of how I should be. Do you know what the name Laslow means?”

You shake your head.

“It means glorious ruler. I’m not a ruler nor am I glorious. I’m just… a guy in the background.”

You take this in. You weren’t expecting him to open up that much. You guess you took too long to respond, because he starts talking again.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I opened up to you that much…” He looks into your eyes. You’re so close that can see every detail in his. The colour, a beautiful green and blue mix that you can finally see. The way his pupils dilate slightly as you take in a shuddering breath, your face inching slightly closer to his. The mole underneath his left eye that’s oddly kissable, the way his glasses sit on his nose, a light red mark a little further down his nose from where his glasses sit, but you can tell that they were sitting there for quite some time.

This really isn’t the time to be admiring him, you do that enough in class. Right now you need to say something comforting instead of falling into a fantasy.

“I don’t know either.” Wait. No. That sounds mean. Say something else. This is really not the time to be stunned into silence. “But I’m glad that you did.” Would it be weird to pull him into a hug?

“Really?”

“Really. Listen… I understand where you’re coming from. It’s hard to feel like you don’t fit in, and it’s not an easy fix. I can’t just tell you to start thinking positively and then boom all your troubles are gone. But one thing that I know for sure is that you’re not as much as an outcast as you think you are.”

“What makes you say that?”

“It’s a school for outcasts, there’s no way you’re going to graduate from here without finding someone who you click with. Whether that’s your roommate or the stranger that you opened up to in the nurse’s office who has wanted to talk to you for months but never managed to find a time. There’s going to be someone.”

His eyes widen.

“You? You want to be my friend?”

Or more. Preferably more.

“Of course I do! I sit near you in nearly every class trying to work out what to say… I even wrote notes.” You remember that you have your bag with you. “Wait… do you want to read some of them?”

“…what?”

“The notes I wrote for you in class… I kept them all in my bag.” You unzip a small compartment in your bag and pull out a rather large pile of folded up notes. Each one has the name Rowan written on the front.

“Oh… so you weren’t lying just to cheer me up.”

“Of course not! here, I think this is the first one I wrote. Or one of the first ones.” You hand him a note that’s more crumpled than the others. Like the other notes, his name is written on the front, but the ink is smudged from the old pen you used to use that never dried properly and bled all over your history work.

“They started back at the beginning of Ms Thornhill’s class.” You fidget nervously with your fingernails, watching rowan unfold the paper.

God this better not scare him away.

Rowan

I think that’s how you spell your name. I only heard it on the roll so I’m guessing.

You look unbelievably cute nice attractive god just pick one, y/n. cool :)

My name is y/n, we’re in a few classes together but I never have an excuse to talk to you. So now I’m writing notes instead of listening to Ms Thornhill tell us very important information on plants. I’ll probably never end up giving these to you, but I want to write my feelings out as much as I can.

I’ve heard a few people say that you’re weird, and I know that you heard them, it shows on your face. Honestly I think they should all go suck a dick jump off a cliff fuck themselves. No one here has any place to call someone else weird. There’s fucking vampires and mermaids here. Everyone is weird. Don’t let it get to your head.

I’m running out of space, but I hope I can say this to you one day.

Love From y/n <3

Rowan folds the paper over again. He stares blankly at it, then, before you can say anything, he clears his throat.

“Can I um… can I please keep these?” He looks back into your eyes, and you can see that his are laced with tears.

“Yeah… of course you can. But don’t you wanna read the rest?”

He swipes at his eyes, looking away, flustered.

“I do, but I don’t want to cry in front of you.”

Fuck it.

Before you have time to overthink, your left hand reaches up and rests on his face. Before you can get a reaction, you turn his head towards you. His cheeks are flushed pink and he looks deep into your eyes once again. His hand grasps at something urgently at his side, not taking his eyes away from yours. He finally finds what he needs and he awkwardly brings his hand up, which you realise is holding his asthma pump, to his mouth, taking a few breaths before lowering it.

“That was fucking adorable.”

Shit. You just verbalised your thoughts. Rowan chuckles lightly and oh my god he is so kissable. That’s taking a bit too many steps though, so instead of jumping up 10 levels at a time in the first conversation you’ve ever had with him, you move your hands down his neck to rest on his shoulders before pulling him into a hug.

If we’re being honest, you could’ve easily hugged him without the subtle trace down the neck, but you wanted to see how he would react. And my god how he delivered. His skin shivered at your touch, and you couldn’t help but smile at it.

He’s tense in your hug at first, but then you feel his shoulders relax and his hands trace their way around your back, overlapping as he brings you closer to his body. He digs his face into the crook of your neck and you can feel him melt into your arms.

“You’re allowed to cry.” You whisper. “Don’t be scared to show your emotions. I’m here.” He shivers again at the feeling of your breath against his ear.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

So he lets go of the tight grip that was crushing his heart. He lets the tears fall from his eyes, landing on your uniform. They keep falling, and his body heaves with every shuddering breath he takes. You pull him as close as you can, using one hand to take off his glasses so he can get more comfortable.

Neither of you know how much time passed. You don’t care. All you care about is Rowan.

The crying starts to slow down. You try to find his asthma pump, getting ready for when he needs it. You don’t pull away. You stay hugging him for as long as he needs. He sniffs and brings his head up reluctantly. His breaths are still a bit off, so you bring the asthma pump up to his face.

“Thank you…” He mumbles, taking it from you and pumping it a few times. He looks even more disheveled than before. His hair is messy, his face is pale, the underneaths of his eyes are red from the tears and rubbing of his eyes, there’s faint tear stains running down his face, and his glasses are off to the side of the seat. Despite the lack of his usual up kept appearance, you can feel your face flush as he hurriedly puts the glasses back on his face. He looks really tired. Fair enough though, crying takes a lot of energy.

“I know we only just met… but this was really important to me. Thank you. So much.” He grins at you, and you can see the happiness coming into his face. He even fixes up his posture.

“Really, Laslow, it’s no problem. I’m just glad that I decided to come get my pills Today instead of Tomorrow.” You stand up from the seat, feeling the pins and needles all over your body.

“Are you leaving?” He asks, sadly. He’s like a lost puppy, you never wanna leave them.

“We’re leaving. Come on, you look tired. I’ll walk you to your dorm.” You hold out your hand and he reluctantly takes it, standing up and stretching.

“You can put these in your pocket or bag by the way. If you still wanna keep them that is.” You nod towards the pile of notes, and when you go to pick them up you stop. There’s an extra weight on your hand. You look down and Rowan is still holding onto your hand from helping him up. He looks down too and immediately lets go.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to do that I just wasn’t thinking properly and-“ You cut him off by tucking the notes into his bag and taking his hand in yours again.

“Don’t apologise.” You smile at him. “Now, where’s your dorm?”

[manonblaqkbeak]

Scaling in the Moonlight

Hello everyone!!! Long time no see!!! It's been eleven months!!!!! since I last wrote anything. I hated the fact that I missed last years rowaelin month and was determined to write something for this years rowaelin month (and a special thank you to @goddess-aelin for her lovely note saying she missed my work <3)

And thanks to the lovely people that run rowaelin month!!! you are all amazing!!! @rowaelinscourt

Apologies in advance if my writing and grammar and characterisation is a little rusty, like I said, it's been eleven months since I last wrote anything and I'm slowly getting through my ToG re-read (which has really opened my eyes to how traumatised Aelin is as a person/character).

Words: 800+. CW: none, I don't think.

Day 18- Aelin and Rowan's hawk form.

It was two AM and Aelin was out, wondering the dark city streets of Orynth, looking for the right building.

Instead of using the castle's obstacle course like most sane people would, Aelin decided that she needed to do this the way she was trained too—by scaling the side of buildings, using every muscle in her body to pull herself up to reach the top of the building, to run across the rooftops to get closer to her target.

She needed the reminder that she could—and that she hadn't lost her edge.

Although, she was sure she had lost it. She did still train, from magic to weapons to hand-to-hand combat, she did whichever she was in the mood for with what free time she had, but as Queen and mother to five children, she had no need to scale buildings and jump from rooftop to rooftop.

So she had decided, as she ate her dinner with her family, she was going to relive her past life; if only for a couple of hours.

Aelin walked through one more street before she found a good starting point—a shoe store that she did frequent with Rowan and their children. It was two storeys tall and she knew that no one occupied the apartment above the shop so no one would see her.

Hopefully no one would hear her either.

Stretching before climbing, Aelin told herself that it would be fine. She had given birth to five children, all without pain relieving herbs, she could—would—scale this building with ease.

Finding her footing was easy enough, so Aelin started her trek—and thankfully didn't fall off, although she did slid time a few times and had to grit her teeth to stop her cursing from echoing around town.

The burning in her muscles took her back to how she used to be, how she used to be able to demand any contract and fat coin purse she desired.

She didn't miss that life, not at all, but it was part of who she was and she was not ashamed of it.

Taking one last gulping breath, Aelin hoisted herself over the roofs ledge and let the accomplishment rush through her.

So determined she was in proving herself that she could still do this, she hadn't been aware that she had a follower.

A follower that now clicked his beak at her.

Aelin's head snapped upwards, taking in her mate's large hawk-form as he perched on the chimney.

“You were asleep when I left,” was all Aelin could think of to say.

Rowan clicked his beak again, as if to say And now I'm awake.

“Clearly,” Aelin said, “how'd I go from your end?”

She waited for him to shift back but he didn't. He wasn't mad at her, she knew that much, but she didn't want anyone to see her talking to her mate like this—it felt too intimate to be like this in public, but after two decades together, Aelin could converse with Rowan in his hawk form as easily as she could talk to him in his Fae form.

Rowan didn't say anything but flew to the building next to her. He clicked his beak. You can climb well enough, let's see how you can jump.

Aelin moved to the ledge, looking down to the ground, if she didn't make it, she wouldn't die, but she'd probably be bruised all over.

She looked at Rowan, who was waiting patiently. “Will you nurse me back to health if I fall?” she asked, batting her eyelashes at her husband, who rolled his eyes.

“That better be a yes,” she said and moved back to take a running jump.

Gods, if she fell, she'd never get over the embarrassment.

Aelin ran and jumped—and just made it. She hit her chin hard enough that when she made it over the ledge of the building, she laid down and stared at the open night sky.

A flash of light brighter than the moon came and went, and then there was Rowan, taking her in.

“Fireheart,” he said, his voice deep and concerned. “Are you alright?”

“I'm fine,” Aelin said, her chin sore but she would live. She eyed her mate up and down, however, and said, “But I would still appreciate being nursed back to health—especially if you take your shirt off.”

Rowan rolled his eyes again, but obliged her, his shirt coming off in one easy movement that had her contemplate making a sixth baby.

“Where does it hurt, milady?” her king-consort asked, his rough fingers moving across her collarbone.

“Here,” she said, pointing to her chin, and soon she was better, especially as she chased Rowan around in his hawk form, easily jumping from roof to roof as the hours went by.

[talksliketherain]

Rowan Laslow - Hurt

Background- Rowan and Y/n have been best friends forever and they both have feelings for one another but are oblivious to it. Recently he's been going to Nightshade meetings more often, leaving y/n alone to fill her own time.

Not proof read!! Please do not post my work to any other sites or steal it!! If you have any requests dm me!

_______________

Third person Pov-

Y/n and Rowan sat in his dorm, finishing up their project for botany. Rowan hated botany. He had no special interest in plants or flowers or nature of any sort. But he knew y/n did. He looked up at her, observing her squinting her eyes in focus at the drawing she had been working on.

The two had practically grown up together. Before Rowan's mother died, she was best friends with Y/n's aunt, who y/n lived with. After his mother died he began spending a lot more time at the L/n household. His father wasn't too interested in what Rowan did, and kind of detested him because of how much he resembled his mom.

Nevertheless, Y/n and her aunt took Rowan in. He even had his own room at their house.

At about age 13, he began to realize he was deeply in love with her. Since he practically lived with her he got to see all sides of her. This included seeing her sob after her first heartbreak, laugh until she couldn't breathe, and get so mad to the point where she was quite literally red in the face.

He adored every side. He adored everything about her.

He snapped back into reality, hearing her call his name in that voice that drove him nuts.

"Rowan?" she asked, trying to get his attention.

He mentally screamed at the sound of her saying his name.

"Sorry what?"

"I asked what you think about the drawing."

"Oh. Sorry."

He turned his head to observe the picture. They were assigned a tiger lily. His mouth opened a little bit. The drawing was perfect.

"Wow. That's really good. You're gonna give Xavier a run for his money."

Y/n blushed at the compliment. She had been doing her best at trying to make the drawing look as good as possible. She didn't want rowan to think she was incapable.

Just recently she had caught feelings for the Laslow boy. She never really paid him much mind before until earlier in the year. She saw him get hurt during fencing and went with him to the nurse's office. Seeing him there with his hair perfectly parted to the side, glasses sitting perfectly on his nose, and sleeves rolled up a little made her want to die. She thought back to that moment at least twice a day.

She tried forgetting about the skip in her heart when she saw him at that moment, but couldn't push it out of her head. About two weeks ago, she realized she was madly in love with him and gave in to her feelings.

"Thanks, Row. Now I just have to color it in." She looked up at him, sucking in a breath realizing how close they were.

"I could do that part. I mean you pretty much just did the whole thing." he chuckled.

"Uhh. Okay yeah, go ahead."

"Great. I'll finish it before it's due next Monday."

Rowan suddenly realized how close he was to the girl. He didn't want to be weird, so he scooted back as subtly as possible when he put the drawing in his bag.

Y/n frowned at the movement. She had thought that just maybe he was that close on purpose. Guess he was too close for comfort.

Rowan had taken off his jacket and was just in his button-up and vest. Y/n watched his back muscles contract as he leaned down to put his stuff away. Fencing sure did pay off.

He sat up and caught the girl zoned out, staring at his back.

"...You okay?"

"Wha- uh yeah. I'm great. Fantastic actually", Y/n said, hoping it wasn't too noticeable that she was staring at him.

He nodded and picked his bag up, slinging it over his shoulder. Y/n knew what was coming. The two had this unspoken thing with each other where they gave a hug whenever the other left. Recently she had been dreading this. Every touch they shared sent an electric pulse through her body.

She sighed, looking up at him with a sad face.

"Do you have to go?"

Rowan looked down to hide the crimson blush that he could feel spread across his face. They used to hang out all the time, but ever since Rowan joined the Nightshades he had been spending less and less time with the girl. In his defense, he was working on building up the courage to ask the others if she could join. Until then, he had to keep it a secret from you. He didn't know why he was so nervous. They all loved you anyway.

"Yeahhh. Xavier needed me to tutor him for algebra."

"Ah. Okay. Well..bye."

She stood up and mentally prepared herself for what was to come.

When did he get so tall?

He pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her neck. She wrapped hers around his waist, face right in his chest. They stood there for a moment just holding each other.

They both inhaled. As y/n took in the smell of Rowan's light cologne mixed with fresh cold air, he took in the smell of her green apple shampoo and conditioner. Her hair products frequently changed, so he was always excited to see what she chose this time.

Even though they both grew extremely nervous about this hug every time it came, it was addicting. Neither of them could get enough. It was like an excuse just to touch each other based on a tradition from when they were kids. They both mentally cursed and thanked their past kid selves for it. It had grown to mean so much more.

"Sure you don't wanna stay? I'm gonna sneak out and go into Jericho for some coffee and snacks.."

Rowan tried to think of an excuse. He felt bad for ditching their usual hang-out together (again..), but this was the meeting he would ask if she could join. They would finally be able to join each other again.

"I can't. His test is coming up soon. No time to waste."

"Right. Okay. Bye Rowan."

"Bye Y/n"

_________________

Rowan closed the door behind him and immediately felt sick. He knew Y/n was upset with him, but it would all be worth it after tonight.

But he just kept thinking.

Maybe if you got the courage to ask sooner you wouldn't have to feel this way, and she wouldn't be upset.

No. What's done is done. No point in feeling bad about it now. It wasn't like waiting an extra day was gonna kill her.

__________________

Y/n pulled her jacket on and grabbed her wallet in a huff. She knew Rowan wasn't tutoring Xavier for algebra tonight. Xavier was in geometry with her, and their test was yesterday.

Knowing he lied to her angered Y/n. Why would he be ditching her like this? What if there was a girl?

She shook her head trying to shake off the thought of Rowan being in love with someone else. Whatever. Maybe a latte and some chips would get her mind off of this.

She snuck out of the school doors, shivering once she felt the breeze hit her. She knew she should have grabbed Rowan's hoodie he had given her instead but was too stubborn to wear something of his right now when he had pissed her off so badly.

She began heading through the woods, observing her surroundings. She had always felt one with nature. It was peaceful to her.

As her journey continued, she didn't make it too far in before she heard a low growl.

"Enid?" she asked wearily.

Enid was always messing around with her like this. Even though she hadn't wolfed out yet, she had still always had a knack for growling and scaring the girl.

She heard it again.

"Enid come on this isn't funny. Come out!" she demanded.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as a strange creature crawled out of the darkness.

Y/n immediately started sprinting back toward the school. She had almost reached the front lawn when she felt her legs give out from under her. She was pulled back by her leg and flipped over until she felt the violent stabbing pain of the creature clawing open the skin on her chest and legs. She screamed as loud as she could, hoping someone would find her and come help. Her adrenaline got the best of her, as she was frozen in shock and fear. She suddenly snapped back to reality when the monster had finished with her.

She felt the burning of the wounds and the wetness of the blood seeping through her clothes in the cold night air. She couldn't scream anymore, and the blood rushing out of her drained her energy. She reached down and slowly pulled out her phone, pressing Rowan's contact to call him. Even though she had been mad, she needed him right now, and he was the closest thing to family around here.

————————

Rowan looked down at his phone repeatedly buzzing in her pocket. His face lit up with joy seeing Y/n's contact. He had already asked and received the blessing for her to join the club he was buzzing with excitement. When he asked everyone look at him like he was stupid.

"Dude, why didn't you just ask before? We love having her around. I'm surprised she isn't already one of us." Xavier said.

He got a bunch of different "yeah" and "Duh of course" from the entire group. Easy enough then. He had just sat down and started drinking a mocktail Yoko had made. He was just about to text and ask if he could come to her dorm because he had good news when he got her call.

Rowan picked up the phone and held it to his ear.

"Hey, I was just about t-"

He stopped. He heard sobbing from the girl and immediately stood up, already on edge.

"Y/n what's wrong? Is everything alright?"

"I...need help. Now. Monster...attacked..me... "

"Ooooh My god. Okay. OKAY. IM COMING. Send me your location I'm on my way."

"O...K...." Y/n sobbed.

Rowan hung up and took his robe off. It was time to go. NOW. He didn't even bother explaining to the others. He rushed out and ran towards the location you had sent him.

He made his way toward the edge of the campus lawn, finding you passed out on the grass. Not considering the circumstances, you looked peaceful. Your long eyelashes over top your cheeks and the moonlight above you shone across your face.

But Rowan didn't have time to think about that. He had to act fast.

"Fuck fuck fuck" he quickly used his telekinetic powers to lift you into the air and had you floating behind him as he broke out into a jog to the nurse.

He got to the nurse and quickly explained what happened. The nurse told him to go get her clothes as she tore off the bloodied ones and cleaned the poor girl up.

Rowan rushed down to your dorm and flipped the light on. Yoko was your roommate, and she was still at the meeting so he didn't have to worry about disturbing anyone. He went through the items in your closet, knowing you would want something to be comfortable in. He grabbed a tank top and shorts, knowing you also might not want anything touching your stitched-up wounds.

He grabbed some of your things along the way, knowing you would be spending at least a couple of days in the infirmary. On the way out he spotted his hoodie laying across a chair. He grabbed that too.

Turning the light off and shutting the door, Rowan rushed back, waiting to see what your state was.

He entered the door and handed the nurse your stack of clothes through the curtain. He didn't want to look in and invade your privacy. He tried talking to the nurse through the curtains. He was very impatient.

"How is she? Is she going to be okay? What's going on?" he asked frantically.

"Well she lost a lot of blood, and she's going to need MANY stitches. As of right now, I'm not sure when or if she'll wake up. But ill let you know..." she responded.

He sucked in a breath and held it for a second. This was all his fault. If he asked sooner or left the meeting earlier, or just stayed with you, this would have never happened. He let a single tear roll down his cheek but quickly wiped it away.

For the next couple of hours, all he did was wait. The nurse finally came out.

"She'll make it. But she'll be out for a while. As I said, Miss L/n lost a lot of blood. She's numbed up for now but she'll be in pain for the next few days. If you want you can go check on her. She's cleaned up."

He let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you so much. Do you mind if I stay with her until she wakes up?"

The nurse smiled at his request. The simple act reminded her that young love still existed. It was a breath of fresh air compared to the cuts and bruises from fights she was constantly healing.

"Go right ahead"

__________________________

Y/n woke up dizzy, but stable. She felt sharp pains and something burning all over her. She lifted the hem of her shirt, seeing bloodied stitches all across her abdomen. She pulled down the waistband of her shorts and saw the same thing on her thighs. Same thing on her arms.

At least I'm alive

She looked over to see Rowan sleeping in a chair next to her bedside. A nurse walked over and checked up on her while y/n stared. The nurse glanced up and looked over to see her looking at him so intently.

"Your boyfriend there stayed with you for the past 2 days. He barely leaves your side. Reminds me of how close my husband and I are."

Y/n didn't want to ruin the moment and tell her it wasn't her boyfriend so she just replied "Yeah we're really close."

The nurse walked away. Since she was awake now and Rowan was asleep, it was her turn to watch over him. She looked over all of him, from the freckles on his face to his cupid's bow. She loved every.single.part.

She was still laying down observing his face when he began to stir. His eyes fluttered open and he lifted off his glasses a little bit to rub his eyes before he fully opened them.

"Hey, you're awake! How do you feel?" he asked.

"Fine. Sore. Thank you for saving me."

"It's the least I could do. You're here because of me in the first place."

"Are you kidding? I understand you had things to do. I was going whether you were there or not. This isn't your fault."

"Listen there's something I need to tell you..."

Y/n raised her eyebrow and slightly nodded, telling him to keep going.

"I'm a part of a secret society here called the Nightshades. Recently we've been having more meetings which is why I've had to ditch our usual time together so much. Last night was especially important because...I asked them if you could join. They said yes. So now we can do our usual hangouts again...I mean. Only if you want."

Her eyes widened at the statement.

"Really? Wow. Yeah, I'd love to join. And to think I thought.." she said the last part a little quieter, realizing she ratted herself out.

"You thought what?"

"Well, I knew you weren't tutoring Xavier. He's in my class. I thought. Well, I thought you were ditching me for a girl."

Rowan laughed at the statement, making y/n slightly glare for laughing at her.

"ME?"

He continued laughing but then saw the serious look on her face. He knew it was time. This may ruin their friendship, but holding on to this anymore would make him explode.

"Y/n, the only girl I want in my life is you. I've been in love with you since we were kids. When I saw you laying there, lifeless on the ground, all I could think about was how I never got to tell you how much you meant to me."

Her eyes went as big as saucers. She never thought he would ever say anything to her like that. She sat forward and stared down at her hands, trying to figure out how to tell him she reciprocated feelings.

Rowan sat in silence, worrying he made her uncomfortable. He stood up from his chair.

"Listen I'm gonna go I don't want you to thin-"

Y/n quickly turned to him, gripping his wrist with one hand to pull him down, the other hand on the back of his neck to pull him in.

As their lips connected they both melted into the kiss. Y/n felt him smile a little, but quickly force it down so he could go back to kissing her. He lifted his hand to her face and rubbed his thumb back and forth across her cheek.

Y/n sat up a little bit to deepen the kiss, trying to push away the immense pain she was feeling on her stomach, but eventually gave in. She sharply inhaled and leaned back to the spot she was in before, breaking contact between the two.

Rowan sat back down in his seat with a dopey smile spread across his face.

Y/n looked at him with what was only recognizable as unconditional love in her eyes.

"Rowan. I'm in love with you too. Every part of you. I've known you for so long, and I can't imagine what my life would be like without you here."

Rowan took her hand in his, drawing little circles on it as they both stared at each other with love in their eyes. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, then whispered to her...

"I swear. I will never let anything hurt you ever again, my love."

——————————

AND THATS IT!! Thank you for reading and stay tuned for more updates!

[thereisacentipedeinmystudy]

so sorry if this is, like, weird or uncomfortable to ask, but is there anything you particularly miss about your old life or camp? like people, places, things, even just who you were. i’m a little curious.

- jedidiah (your buddy)

Oh, lots! Also hi jeddie

This post got LONG. So shes getting cut off

Going in order, i MISS the other councilors. Specifically I was thinking earlier about rowan. He spent a lot of time in the nurses office, especially when he wasn't the only councilor in his cabin. When i wasn't busy, we got to talk. He often needed the conversation, and i liked to talk. He also visited me a few times outside of camp months. Also oddly, i miss Matthew. We didn't exactly talk? But he was a very friendly man, to me at least.

And i miss the campers!! I always missed everyone when summer ended. But i had the reassurance most people (campers and councilors alike) would return

This goes without mentioning, but i miss you. We talk everyday, But i do miss seeing you!! Which is such a massive understatement, i just don't want to get sad here. You know the long and short of it

Who do i not miss?? I do not miss elijiah volkov i miss everyone except elijiah volkov, mention of him sickens me. I even feel weird coming across the three elijiah kins that exist on this app (apologies to the elephant men community. It's not personal, i am ill)

In terms of places, obviously i miss camp. I miss my old room. And most of all, i miss the forest around the camp. I spent a significant amount of time in the forest, when possible. Unless the general area around the bonfire counts as a place. I miss the bonfire so bad. I can barely think well, my head is too fogged without it. And i like the experiences i had with the bonfire, it was always nice. And i miss going to camp! As a child, i mean. I remember being young and pretending to be animals with the other kids. I was almost always some form of fox, if i didn't have some random animal i knew no one else would be, like a mole or a boar. i ended up cringing myself out of it at about 11,naturally. But by 16 i regretted how early i stopped it. I loved camp!! I miss camp!!

In terms of Things and Other. I miss the bonfire, obviously. Oddly, i miss the constant sound of clocks. The thin windows that always allowed the sound of crickets and frogs in at night. And most of all, i miss the sky!! A blue sky feels so wrong, it feels fake. It's pretty and all, but the sky used to elicit many more emotions than joy and indifference. Sorrow, nausea, love, loss, disease, anger, and joy as well I suppose. In terms of other things? I miss having top surgery! I miss the way i dressed, having the freedom to do so. This might be weird but i also just miss being past the point of escape? I don't want this post to get depressing, so in short. The house I've been put in now is nearly no different to the house i grew up in for those first 16 years. And there's always the fear i wont get out this time, or just that ill end up just as badly sick again! That's it on that tho

But yeah i miss my friends and I'm far too afraid to speak to any sourcemates honestly. Yikes! Uh oh. Bye guys !!

[tomtenadia]

Detours to You - 30

Hello..

Here we are...this is the next to last chapter.

MASTERLIST

“Our son, he is coming.”

Rowan hung up and set the car in motion. His heart raced. He was about to become a dad. A ray of light in a very dark day.

Due to a hefty section of the city centre being closed, the traffic was now hellish and progress slowly. His phone rang again and he activated it via the bluetooth command on his wheel “Ae?”

“Where are you?” She sounded better and he relaxed.

“Stuck in traffic but coming. How are you?”

“In a fuckload of pain, but our boy is fine.”

“How far along?”

“Doc says six centimetres, you still have time, chief.”

“I think I know a shortcut, I will see you soon. Love you.”

His job had him driving a lot around the city and with time he had learned a lot of shortcuts. And this one allowed him to arrive at the hospital in a shorter time than anticipated. 

At the hospital he bolted out of the car and ran for the maternity ward. At the reception the charge nurse gave him a glare and then he realised why. He was a mess, his face still dirty, same for his hands and neck. Of course they did not want him in such state in a place where there were newborns. He ran back to his car where he kept a change of uniform and then used one of the bathroom to get cleaned up and a bit more presentable. His hair was still darker then usual but he just placed his head under the sink and hoped for the best tying his hair in a man-bun.

Finally he got to Aelin’s room and saw her sitting on a yoga ball, with an IV attached her hand and Lys and Elide keeping her company.

“You are here.”

He kneeled and kissed her.

“You stink of smoke.”

Rowan let out a chuckle “I only had time to change in the hospital bathroom. This requires a shower.” He then turned to Elide “Lorcan is fine, but I would go home to him, this call was a lot for everyone.”

Elide looked at Aelin and she nodded “Go, I am fine, Rowan is here,” she turned to Lys “you too. Go home, relax. We will call you when you are an aunt.”

When they were alone, Rowan sat on the chair opposite to her and Aelin noticed the deep wariness in the lines on his face “we called my parents and your mum and Maya is with her.”

“How are you?” He caressed her face.

“This ball is amazing and it’s helping with some of the pain.”

Rowan moved at her back and started massaging the spot that he knew she loved. The sounds that left Aelin’s mouth were not for a public audience.

“Fireheart, they might think we are having sex.”

A grin spread on her face “an orgasm releases the happy hormone that might help my pain.”

Rowan’s ears turned red “Aelin I don’t think it’s appropriate.”

“Squeeze a boob? I know you love them.”

He sighed and kneeled behind her and his arm sneaked around her waist holding the belly. His mouth traced lazy circles on her neck and nibbled at her favourite spot behind the ear. She leaned back against him, then his hand travelled up and cupped a breast hiding under the hospital gown and Aelin moaned.

He then smacked a kiss on her neck and stood “I am starving, am I okay if I go downstairs and grab something? I have not eaten since this morning.”

Aelin stood and wore her gown “I am coming too.”

“Are you sure?”

“Walking is good.” She grabbed her IV and attached it to the carrier then grabbed his arm and slowly they walked down to the cafeteria.

Aelin snacked on some of his fries and inhaled the scent of coffee. She missed it.

By the time they got back to the room they were both exhausted. Rowan collapsed heavily on the chair and Aelin covered him with a blanket “rest a bit, you had a long day.”

“I can’t.”

“You will hear me screaming when it’s time, I am sure.”

But Rowan never managed to fall asleep. He brought the chair closer to the bed, grabbed her hand and placed it on his heart. He told her what happened, he felt bad at spoiling her day with such a sad story but he needed to unburden his soul. He needed her. 

It was in the middle of the night when she patted his hand nervously “Rowan…”

“What is it?”

“He is coming.”

He ran outside and called for the doctor who, after a few checks, confirmed that yes, Aelin was ten centimetres and ready to deliver. He followed to the delivery room and was given a set of scrubs to wear on his clothes and then stood at her side “I am here, fireheart.” He kissed her forehead while she screamed in pain.

The doctor moved in-between her legs and told her that the baby was already crowning.

“Chief, come and see your son.”

Rowan stared at Aelin and she nodded so he moved and gasped when he saw the head.

“I can see him, fireheart.”

Aelin pushed and pushed and Rowan watched his son slowly be born.

The doctor took the infant away and he walked back to an exhausted Aelin “you are amazing,” a kiss “Aelin that was…”

“Buzzard, are you crying?”

He shrugged “he is here.” 

She looked up at him and her heart melted at seeing him weep.

In the distance they heard the infant cry “that is a good sign.”

A moment later the nurse placed the bundle in Aelin’s arms and Rowan sat at her side “he’s beautiful.”

“And still a bit gross.” Aelin kissed the baby’s head “we do good babies, Whitethorn.”

“Wonder if he has your eyes.”

“I read it will take a while before it settles,” he added using the info he had read in all of his babies books.

“Maya was a shade of green already at birth and then it settled in you pine green.”

As if he heard them, their son opened his eyes and looked up “they are quite light. Hopefully they will be blue.”

Rowan kissed her head “anything, my love.”

“Do you want to go to your dad?” She passed him the baby and Rowan’s heart raced. He had missed all of that with Maya, but now he was going to be present in all the milestones of his son. Witnessing his first moments had been the experience of a lifetime.

“Hi you, I am your dad.”

Aelin stared at Rowan talking to their son and felt emotions well up at the image. Rowan was meant to be a dad.

He walked back and passed the child back “I am not supposed to take him away from you too long, skin on skin with the mother is important.”

Aelin took his hand “the father too.”

The nurse joined them a moment later, “have we settled on a name?

“Thomas,” said Rowan.

“Thomas, Alasdair Whitethorn-Galathynius.”added Aelin.

Rowan stared at her in disbelief.

“And I have the documents ready to change Maya’s surname legally to Whitethorn-Galathynius too.”

“I love you.” Was all that Rowan managed.

*

Once Aelin was back in her room, Rowan had started the round of calls and to fill his phone with his son’s pictures.

His mother with Maya and the Galathynius had been the first visitors. 

Maya stormed in the room claiming that she was a big sister and wanted to see her brother. Rowan removed her shoes and placed her on the bed “Maya, meet Thomas.”

“Thomas, meet your big sister Maya.”

The girl leaned forward and kissed the boy “mama he smells nice.”

“Do you want to hold him?” Maya looked at her father in surprise.

Rowan moved behind her “sit down properly on the bed,” he helped her and showed her how to bend her arms and then he passed her her brother, always keeping a hand nearby to hover.

His mum stared at the image in front of her and took pictures at the same time.

Rowan looked at her and he knew where her thoughts had gone, because he was thinking about the same thing. His father should have been there to witness that moment and all of a sudden the pain of his loss came back for a brief visit. But luckily his daughter’s squeals of happiness brought him back.

Rowan then took his son from his sister’s arms and walked to his mother “mum, please meet Thomas Alasdair.”

A sob escaped Eiddwen’s lips and took her grandson “hello, mo chridhe. I am your grandma and I will love you so very much.”

The Galathynius arrived later “sorry it took us so long, the traffic is a nightmare.”

And Rowan for a moment remembered why and darkness threatened to resurfaced but as he stared at his son and daughter he managed to push the pain away.

“It might be a while before it gets fixed.” He added flatly and Aelin grabbed his hand.

“Is this our grandson?”

“Nana have you seen my brother?”

Evalin and Rhoe moved to Aelin “oh he is gorgeous.” She took him from his mother hands and cooed at the baby “and what’s your name, my love?”

“Thomas Alasdair,” added Rowan proudly and Evalin stared at both of them “it’s perfect.”

“Have you told Lys and Elide?”

Rowan lifted his phone and showed the video of Lys dancing in the living room and celebrating being an aunt.

Aelin and Rowan enjoyed the celebrations until the nurse took their son away claiming that it was time for his nap. Maya protested saying that she wanted to stay with her brother but they had to explain her that he was very little and had to rest.

Eventually they left and Eiddwen took Maya with her.

Rowan remained behind and sat on Aelin’s bed and she caressed his face “you should go home too, you are tired.” His forehead leaned against hers “No, I am staying.”

“Ro, please, I need you fully rested. We have two kids now.”

He chuckled “Okay, but I am back tomorrow morning.”

“We will be waiting for you.”

Rowan kissed her deeply “I love you. You are my everything, Aelin. You and our two children.”

Aelin pulled him closer. She could feel his residual pain and it broke her heart than on such a joyous days he could not be fully happy “you make me happy too, chief.”

Rowan gave her a last kiss and stood.

“Drive safe, please.”

He nodded and left.

The drive home had taken a while. He had received a call from the commissioner explaining that during overhaul they had discovered water infiltrations that had weakened the structure in the long run and the vibrations of the rails had worsened the structure. It had been a disaster waiting to happen and now an investigation had been opened. 

Rowan finally got home. In the house he took in the unusual silence and it upset him. He was now so used to constantly hear the voices of his girls that the silence brought him back to a time when he was alone. Slowly, he climbed upstairs and got changed, then he dragged his tired body in Maya’s room and stared at it. The were some clothes abandoned on the bed so he placed away and then a chuckle left him when he spotted a skate peeking out from under the bed. Rowan grabbed her hockey kit and stored it away. He and Aelin had been trying hard to teach her to be tidy, but in that sense Maya was just as messy as her mum. With a smile on his face he finished clearing up and then he left, closing the door behind him. 

A few steps down the corridor and Rowan reached a new room waiting for them. He had finished it just a few weeks before. They had gone for a pastel green theme. The crib had a mobile hanging over it with fairy creatures attached to it. Maya had chosen it. He took out his phone and stared at some of the pictures of his son and his heart swelled with love. It had taken a while but he was finally on track to have the family he had dreamt and at his side the love of his life.

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[daydream-cement]

Cold Dead Heart Ch. 10

Marilyn Thornhill x OC (Rowan Ali)

You truly couldn’t believe the events of the past few hours.

You witnessed the caving in of the old meetinghouse and watched as the ruble churned and growled. Fern and Larissa surely couldn’t have survived. After Sheriff Galpin came to his senses, he called for the fire department and EMTs, hoping that someone could make their way into the mess to either save lives or pull out corpses.

You watched in horror as the churning of the rubble stopped and the air grew thick with silence. No one was crying out for help. You couldn’t help but feel like you were the cause of Larissa and Fern’s deaths.

As the flashing lights and sirens of backup arrived, you took a place seated by a large oak tree that seemed to be rotting from the inside out. You cried silent tears, a small glimmer of hope remaining inside of you that Fern and Larissa would be carried from the rubble. Board by board and stone by stone, the pit was emptied. Well, that was until someone spotted Larissa’s hand.

Quickly, they rushed to uncover her. It was shocking how she came out of it all seemingly unscathed. She was unconscious and there didn’t seem to be any life threatening wounds, but that would be determined at the hospital. You slowly move up from your place near the tree, peering inside to try and spot Fern.

And after moments more searching, they found an additional body, but it wasn’t Fern.

No. It was Marilyn.

Your heart dropped. Your eyes focused in on her as they lifted her up and out of the pit. The professionals seemed to be more concerned about her condition. There was a significant amount of trauma to her body. Cuts and bruises everywhere. Desperately, you wanted to go to her, but your best friend was nowhere to be found.

While Larissa and Marilyn were rushed off to the hospital, you stayed until they cleared the cellar of all large boards. Literally they left no stone unturned. Fern was nowhere to be found.

You forced insisted Sheriff Galpin take you to the hospital. Immediately, you approached the front desk, trying to get any information you could on Larissa’s condition. You wanted to ask about Marilyn, but you saw police lurking outside a door to a hospital room and assumed she must be inside. Each doctor or nurse you spoke couldn’t give you exact updates on her condition for confidentiality reasons. You didn’t want to take no for an answer.

"Well can I at least see her?" You were growing impatient with the man at the front desk of the hospital. It wasn't him that responded, but a doctor behind him.

"As long as you don't rile her up. She doesn't need any more stress today. The levels of dopamine and solanine in her blood should have killed her." The woman spoke softly, gently nodding her head for you to follow her down the hallway. You were always so proud of yourself when your relentless pestering brought you the reaction you wanted from others.

You were on the doctors heels, listening closely as they provided a bit more information about their concerns for any additional stress on Larissa. She stopped in front of a hospital room and you began to ponder aloud, "And what about Fern?"

The doctor must have heard word that a third person was missing as they answered your rhetorical question anyway, "Now that one... is a mystery."

Larissa was propped up in the hospital bed, arms folded in front of her. She wanted out of this silly bed. She felt just fine. You were trying to be gentle, but you needed answers, “What happened down there?"

Regardless of how Larissa felt, there was a decent sized cut on her forehead from a beam striking her, bruising across her left eye, and the doctors were concerned about the toxins that still needed to be flushed from her system.

"Well, I don't remember most of it. There is this haze keeping me from... I know was poisoned. But the walls started moving. The stones lining the walls began caving in. The room was collapsing on itself." Larissa shook her head, the memories just weren't coming to her all that well, "Where is Fern? Is she okay?"

You looked at the floor, not wanting to tell her the truth. You couldn’t tell her that Fern was nowhere to be found. You couldn’t tell her that you were to blame for Marilyn having the opportunity to harm them. And you couldn’t tell her that you were desperately in love with Marilyn regardless of it all. The doctor told you not to stress her out after all.

"Rowan." Larissa’s voice was a warning. You have heard that tone many times before.

You were careful with how you spoke your words, “Well.. they- they didn't find her."

"What do you mean they couldn't find her?"

"Just what I said, they cleared out the cellar and she wasn't there. They only found you and Thornhill." You crossed your arms, upset yourself for letting Galpin slow you down and for letting Marilyn out of your sight.

"She was there. I saw her. She was laying on the ground near the wall farthest from the stairs. They must check again." Larissa didn't care how irrational she sounded. Where could Fern have gone?

"They cleared out the cellar, Larissa. It's now an empty hole. Fern is just missing."

"Then I'm going to find her." Larissa pulled herself up out of bed, everything ached, but finding you was much more important.

"Ma'am, please you should get back in bed" The doctor tried stopping Larissa when she reached the door, but even you knew there was no stopping the principal at this point.

Larissa's eyes were ablaze as she turned to you, "Get me my clothes. I'm going to find her."

———

You couldn’t stop yourself. You allowed Larissa to go on her own to find Fern. You chose to stay and talk to Marilyn. The busyness of the hospital seemed to diminish and you were able to slip into her hospital room unnoticed as her guards seemed to have taken a leave of absence.

The steady thrum of machines was the only sound in her hospital room. The constant beep of the heart monitor was a sound you relished in. But as you crept closer, you could tell that she was closer to death than you would ever care to see. Cuts and brushes ran deeper than you expected. She seemed to be miscellaneously bandaged from head to toe and she was handcuffed to the bed. The impulsive thoughts began creeping in.

Bite her. Turn her. Save her.

You step closer until you can brush the hair from her forehead for you to place a kiss against her skin there. As you pull away, you linger near her face, fingers trailing down her cheek. She seemed so frail and in need of such care.

Care that you wanted to provide. Care you needed to provide.

Her eyes open ever so slightly and her voice was hoarse when she spoke, “Ro…”

“Hi, red.” You couldn’t help but call her by her nickname. Turning your hand, you cup her cheek as your eyes begin to water. God, why did she have control over you like this.

“Hurts.. It hurts.” Marilyn seemed to be struggling for breath as she tried speaking to you. Everything seemed pained and labored. Her eye lids closed once more and the heart monitor’s beeps seemed to grow weaker and more irregular.

You didn’t think. You acted.

You leaned in and bit her. You suckled at her beautiful neck and tasted her sweet, addictive blood. Your eyelids fluttered shut as your eyes rolled back in your head. It took everything un you to remind you of the task at hand.

Finally, you pulled away. You grabbed her chin with one hand, effectively opening her mouth. Your other hand raised to your face where you sank your fangs into your palm. Albeit painful, your squeezed your fist shut and held it over Marilyn’s mouth, letting a few drops of your blood drip into the normies mouth.

Marilyn was be the first and last person you would turn into a vampire.

Link to Chapter 11

[only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are]

Redwood Psychiatric Institute - Part 1

MASTERLIST

Edit: Not me accidentally giving the dr two names - I originally had him as Morgan but changed it to Wilson later. I must have left a Morgan in there. Sorry for the confusion!!

Note: This was going to be in two parts, but I thought it would make more sense to combine them and put them in one post. So if you've already read the 1st bit, please keep reading!

Also, Happy New Year! I wanted to kick off 2023 with some whump writing that I'm proud of.

CWs: noncon drugging, forcedsedation, medical restraints, medical gaslighting, forced 'mental illness' treatment

"The psychiatric hospital stands tall with three story buildings, a sprawling lawn, and 6 foot fences enclosing the entire property." The figure narrated from the edge of the grounds. “In the moonlight, it’s an eerie sight to behold.”

He paused the recording temporarily to fiddle with the settings on the microphone, and snap another photo on his camera. ‘Low battery!’ warned the camera. 

“Damn..” He muttered under his breath. 

He turned back to look up at the building, and suddenly heard a twig snap behind him. He froze in place. It was just his mind playing tricks on him, he reasoned. He was alone. He didn’t speak again - just in case. The wind howled through the trees off in the distance. The hair on the back of his neck stood up. 

“Who’s there?” He breathed. 

No response. The woods stood silently swaying in the breeze. 

WHAM!

Something slammed into his back, knocking him to the ground. The camera and recorder were sent flying, the air was shoved out of his lungs from the impact. He didn’t even get the chance to scream, before something sharp pricked his neck. The world dissolved into darkness.

----------------------------------------------------

His eyes flew open to find that he was lying on a bed.

'It was just a dream, Rowan. Take a breath. You’re home. You’re safe.'

He looked around. Except, he wasn’t home. He was in a vast, empty room with pristine white walls and white linoleum flooring. Definitively not-home. 

'Where am I?'

The door cracked open. 

'Finally, someone to explain what’s going on,' Rowan thought. 

Three men stepped in. The first, a middle-aged, medium build man with small round glasses, a clean-shaven face and wearing a doctor’s coat. The other two were well built, tall, and wore white nurses’ scrubs. One had a scar below his left eye, with thick, dark curly hair on his head, and the other had blonde cropped hair and a mean-looking jaw. Blondie also had a nasty black eye.

These were not exactly the people Rowan was expecting. 

The doctor gestured for the two nurses to stand in front of the door, and then he slowly approached Rowan’s bed.

“Hello again. Glad to see you’re awake.” The man had a calm, quiet manner of speaking as he sat on the end of Rowan’s bed.

“Uh.. hi.” Rowan said slowly.

“Ah, I’m sorry.. one moment.” The doctor pulled a small penlight from the pocket of his coat, and shine it in each of Rowan’s eyes. “Hm..”

“Am I in hospital?” Rowan asked as the doctor put away the light.

The man glanced at the two in front of the door, before turning back to Rowan. “You don’t remember?” He asked, his cool tone giving nothing away. 

“No. I was.. what..” Rowan sighed, furrowing his brow as he tried to remember how he’d gotten in this room. 

Oh! The article!

“Well, I was conducting an.. article on a mental hospital.” He said, trying to mimic the doctor’s cool tone. Technically, he wasn’t lying. But he couldn’t let on the full truth, either.

“I see.”

“And then.. and then…”

'I can’t remember. What happened between the woods outside, and here?'

“Can you tell me your name?” The Doctor asked, pulling Rowan out of his thoughts.

“Rowan Murdock.”

“I see, Rowan..” The man glanced at the two nurses again.

“I’m a journalist for The Daily Press, maybe you’ve heard of me?”

The man looked back at Rowan. “Ah.”

“Look, am I in a hospital?” Rowan asked.

The man sighs softly. “What I’m about to say might be very hard to hear. I want you to stay calm, or those two orderlies will have to give me a hand, alright?” He asked, pointing with his chin at the two men in front of the door.

“Okay…” Rowan murmured. “Just, tell me.”

“Yes. You are in a hospital. But... Your name isn’t Rowan Murdock. It’s James Lawton. And you’re in a psychiatric hospital.”

Breathe, Rowan. Just breathe. Stay calm.

“But- that can’t be right. The last thing I remember was walking through the forest. On the outside of Redwood Psychiatric."

"Well, at least you remember the name of this place. You're a patient here - this is Redwood." The Doctor explained, gesturing around the room.

"But I'm not. That's what I'm trying to tell you! There's been some kind of mistake." Rowan pressed, fighting to keep his voice level. "My name is Rowan Murdock, and I'm a journalist. Not a crazy person."

"Listen, James. Take a deep breath. You're in good hands here. Of course you aren't crazy. That's a very outdated and harmful term. You just need help. There's nothing wrong with that." The Doctor placated. "And you've clearly lost your memory after the relapse caused by your escape attempt. So let me refresh your memory. My name is Doctor Wilson. You voluntarily placed yourself in the care of this hospital four months ago, after an increase in hallucinations, paranoia and violent behaviour. The most accurate diagnosis for your symptoms is schizophrenia. I'd like to continue working on your treatment with you, James."

"My name isn't James. If you found my camera, or looked in my-" he'd started to reach for his pant pocket as he spoke, only to realise that the clothes he had been wearing had been replaced by a thin white hospital gown. "-pocket… Well you must have, then. You'd have found my ID, with my name on it. Rowan Murdock."

"We didn't find any camera or ID, James."

"Stop calling me that."  Rowan protested.

"As your Doctor, it is not my place to play along with your hallucinations. I will only set back your recovery further."

"But I'm not your patient! You can't do this!" Rowan fought back tears.

"Take a deep breath, James. You voluntarily committed yourself to our care, meaning that you gave your permission to be here. We can even show you the paperwork if you like. We can keep you here for as long as we think necessary to treat you, because you legally gave us permission to do so." The Doctor tried in a soothing voice. "In a moment, Nurse Dean will bring your meds. You're going to take them for me, and you're going to calm down, okay?"

Rowan stared at the wall, refusing to meet the Doctor's gaze. A knock sounded at the door, and the two orderlies stepped aside to open the door. A man entered, wearing nurse's scrubs and carrying a tray with a dozen small wax paper cups, each with names printed on them. 

"Hello, James." The man said as he stepped up to the bed, handing the tray to the orderlies and picking up a cup with James Lawton on it. "Glad to see you're back with us. Here's your meds." He held the cup out to Rowan.

Rowan reached out and took it, holding up the small cup to inspect the half a dozen pills of different colours and sizes. "What are all of these for?"

“James, you might not remember, but I have told you this before - I can’t tell you, or any of the other patients’, that. You’d only try to avoid certain medications to avoid their effects.” Nurse Dean said firmly. He pushed the tablets closer to James. “Come on, take them. You know the drill, if you don’t take them, we have to inject the medication anyway. So you choose - easy way or hard way.”

Rowan stared into the cup for a moment longer, then slowly tipped the pills back into his mouth. And proceeded to subtly tuck them under his tongue. 

“Open wide.” Nurse Dean pulled out a tongue depressor, and used it to check in Rowan’s cheeks, and then lifted the patient’s tongue. When he found the tablets, he sighed. “James….” 

The nurse lifted the pills onto the wooden stick, then deposited them all at the back of his throat. Then, he placed his hand on Rowan’s throat and massaged firmly, forcing him to swallow the assortment of drugs. Rowan’s throat hurt from the large mass being shoved down his gullet all at once. He coughed, and the Doctor picked up a paper cup from the bedside table, and handed it to Rowan, who took it gratefully and swallowed several mouthfuls of water from the cup.

“I’m sorry. But that one’s on you.” Nurse Dean took back the tray of pill cups from the orderly, and turned to leave. “See you, James. Behave for Doctor Wilson.”

Rowan didn’t say a word as the nurse left, cataloguing the doctor’s name away - information that he was likely supposed to already have, but he didn’t want to add fuel to the Doctor’s claims that he had lost it. He balled the bedsheet in his fists for a few minutes in silence, until he realised Doctor Wilson was talking to him.

“-I’m very disappointed in you, James. You’re going to have to try better than that.” Doctor Wilson said, brow furrowed. 

“Ma nerm.. isen J-” Rowan stopped, realising his tongue was thick and heavy in his mouth, and words and syllables weren’t coming out properly. “Wh-”

The fluorescent lights were blurring above his head. He couldn’t hear, the world had been submerged in water. Where was he again? 

'The article. Something to do with the article. He said-'

'I didn’t-'

'Where am I?'

'Why is everything moving. It hurts.' 

'Let me sleep.'

----------------------------------------

James lay on the hospital bed, his head lolling around. He was blinking furiously, trying to stay with it, but they’d put him on such a high dosage that his efforts were futile.

Doctor Wilson stood and pulled the blanket off of his patient. He then turned to the orderlies. “Move him to the maximum security padded room, and restrain him.”

“Yes, Doctor Wilson.” 

The two orderlies approached the semi-conscious patient, picking him up from underneath his armpits, and began dragging him down the hallway.

“Excellent.” Doctor Wilson stepped out the room and closed it behind him.

He walked down the hall of the hospital, following closely behind the orderlies with James. He stepped in front of them, and opened the door with his thumbprint so that they could enter. 

The orderlies placed James on a small, frameless bed against one padded wall. The young man looked tiny as he curled into himself on the mattress, wispy strands of his short caramel hair hanging in his eyes. The orderly with the scar reached under the bed and pulled up padded cuffs that had straps attached to them, with the other ends of the straps sewn into the mattress. As the orderlies and Doctor Wilson held James down and started placing his arms and legs in the restraints, the patient tried to pull away, but he was too weak in his drugged state. With ease, the three men restrained him to the bed. 

Doctor Wilson and the orderlies left the room, closing the door behind them. Doctor Wilson knew that there would be a problem when his patient woke up, but he or the other staff would be watching from the cameras inside the room. 

“Martin, I need you to destroy that camera and ID.” Doctor Wilson said to the curly-haired orderly.

“Yes sir.”

~~~~~~~

PART 2

Taglist (there will be more parts so please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!): @whatiswhump and @jancameforthewhump

[beansnsoup]

Outreach Day

Xavier Thorpe x ftm!male!addams!reader

Summary: You have finally come to a comfortable point in your transition, a change in schools, a new wardrobe, new friends, but it can take one encounter to wreck it all but only one person to clean up that wreckage.

Warnings: bullying, transphobia, slurs (they're bleeped out to an extent), angst, FTM, deadnaming (D/M), mentions of wanting to d1e (in a I wanna get out of this situation way), spitting food out

-OMG I'm writing again! I think I have been accidentally shadow banned so that's why I took a very long break, I am back now though and still taking requests, I hope at least my followers will see this and if any of you know how to fix this shadow ban please comment or dm me because I will take any help I can get <3-

You walked into town with your sister's roommate, Enid, you all had just received the jobs you were assigned for the day that morning and were walking back from the mayor's speech, and you weren't too pumped about it. You were scanning around for your sister when she suddenly popped up behind you both.

"Enid, switch volunteer assignments." Wednesday wasn't really asking her, you stood to the side and waited for them to finish talking so you wouldn't have to walk alone. You've had enough problems in this town already, you didn't want to add on to the pile.

"What? No. Uriah's Heap is definitely not my bag." She said in a majorly disgusted tone. Wednesday shot back quick,

"It's an emergency. I need to check out Pilgrim World."

"But Wednesday, this is not a fair trade. Why would I agree to spend the entire day at some dumpy emporium of crapola?"

You cut in before Wednesday could, "I overheard Ajax talking to his friends this morning, he's volunteering there too. It would be a great time for you to make a move."

When Enid turned back to Wednesday after you told your point she was holding up her envelope for Uriah's Heap. "I can always just go, if you're not interested-"

"No! Oh my God, thank you. You guys are the best!"

She traded the papers and ran off towards the shop, you turn towards your sister, "Why do you want to go to Pilgrim World anyways? Weren't you dissing on it the other day?"

She stayed silent for a second, "I need something from there, it could help figure out the truth behind Rowan."

"Why didn't you just switch with me? I mean I'm all for Enid finally getting the balls to hit on him, but I'd rather go there than Pilgrim World." You asked her as you both started you way over there.

"I knew she would give in more easily."

You just stayed silent; you would still be at public school right now if it wasn't for Wednesday. Pugsley is staying just for the fact that your parents thought having him fend for himself for a bit would be better. You were moved to Nevermore along with Wednesday because you begged your parents for a new start, going to that school was terrible enough but going there while transitioning was even worse.

You were dead named almost every day, the number of times Wednesday had to defend you then help walk you to the nurse was embarrassing. So, after the piranha incident they enrolled you with her. You had a dorm all to yourself because your roommate switched last minute, wasn't like you were complaining, being alone suited you, gave you more time for reading.

Being switched to a new school with new people didn't mean there wouldn't still be transphobes, you still got slurs thrown your way. You were just glad it wasn't the whole school, just about 4 students.

You both reach Pilgrim World just in time for some introductions,

"Good Morrow, my young Nevermore kin. I am Mistress Arlene. A real OC. Original Colonist. Now prithee, put your cellphones on vibrate and make haste, for you are about to travel back in time to the year of our Lord 1625, to Jericho's first pilgrim settlement."

She turns around and walks at a fast pace to give us a tour,

"Yonder. Behold, the meeting house. Inside is a collection of artifacts related to Jericho's most beloved and pious founder, Joseph Crackstone. And beyond is our privy, America's first gender-neutral restroom."

Wednesday steps up, that's when you knew you were in for a treat,

"I haveth a query."

"Pray, be quick, child."

"In the meeting house, which of Joseph Crackstone's artifacts are on display?"

"It's truly a treasure trove, including original farm tools, tableware, even the Crackstone family chamber pot."

"Sounds fascinating. I volunteer to work there."

"Pray, no. That exhibit is being renovated. Today, thou will all be working at the beating heart of Pilgrim World."

-

"'Ye Olde Fudgery?'" Eugene asks out loud. You snicker under your breath as Wednesday responds to his out loud thought, "More like ye olde diabetes in a box."

"Volunteers, prick up thine ears. Fudge is the lifeblood of our humble community. And samples equal sales, so grab a uniform and a box and make our forefathers proud."

"Are these for muzzling tourists?" You ask, looking at Wednesday, then her, she is refusing to make eye contact with either of you. You grab a uniform and change into it in the bathroom, you readjusted your binder while you were in there, you know you would regret it, the one you bought was a size too small, so it was a bit uncomfortable, but you were glad to have one, nonetheless.

Mistress Arlene handed you a tray full of samples, you stood in a corner near the shop to slightly sponsor it from afar, the spot you chose barely had people near, so you were alone and unbothered, just how you liked it. There was also a clock you could look at, it was in a building near you, at an angle you could see the whole clock perfectly, then you could check how much more time you had left until you left.

Only 5 people had come up to you to taste a sample, you saw 2 of those 5 actually enter the fudgery, it was kind of embarrassing, you had a taste earlier and it was sort of bittersweet. The uniform wasn't doing you any justice either, it was kind of itchy. You glanced back towards the window to check the time and right below the building was a group of girls you never wanted to see again.

What were the doing here?

Did they know you were here?

Did she see me?

One of the girls stop talking, she stops her friends and points over to you, you see them mouth 'Oh my God' 'No way' and all this other stuff before they start to make their way over to you. You wanted to drop the tray and start running, or at least dig a hole, and bring the fudge, it could be your last meal as you die in that hole.

They finally reach their destination, which is of course you

"Oh my God? D/N! I feel like we haven't talked in forever. Didn't think i would see you here, especially wearing... that..."

You feel your face flush, where is Wednesday?

"That's not my name, it's Y/N, and I'm here for school."

"Oh, that's right, you're a tra--y. No wonder you go to school with a bunch of freaks."

Her friends laugh at her remark.

You wanted to die.

She grabbed a fudge off of your tray, chewed it for a good bit a spit it out right into your face,

"Jeez, that tastes like crap. Oops, sorry..."

You slowly wipe the fudge off of your face as you walk her and her friends walking away, your eyes swell up, there laughter keeps getting louder and louder even though they have walked away.

You needed to get out of here.

You dropped the tray to the ground and started towards the exit, you walk past Wednesday and Eugene, they're both looking at you. Before Wednesday can even catch you to ask for help in whatever it is she is doing you're already at the exit.

You didn't know where to go, Wednesday told you about that coffee place and how she had run into the sheriff there, maybe it would calm your nerves.

You open the door after you finally reach it, you stand there for a bit, taking in the ambiance of the place. You then walk up to the counter, checking out the menu, you can't even finish reading it because someone is staring at you.

"Yes?"

"Oh, sorry, you just looked a lot like somebody."

"Hm, you must be Tyler. I'm Wednesday's brother, Y/N."

"Oh, does she talk about me?"

"Yes, mostly about how much you irritate her."

You hear a snicker after that, you look behind you to find a boy from school, his name is Xavier, he's in your 3rd period. Tyler rolls his eyes and walks off to the back,

"Hey,"

"Hi,"

There it is, that's your comfort.

He makes you a drink and sits down with you, you didn't even have to ask him to, he asks you how your day has been, and you tell him everything, from how itchy the collar of your uniform was as soon as you out it on to the point where you were getting fudge spat in your face. He never butt in, he just listened to you, and for the first time in a while, you genuinely smiled.

And after that you guys talked for about 30 minutes, you both forgot you had work to do. A ding at the door distracts you both, you turn around to find Wednesday, she doesn't say anything, she just walks up to the counter. Before Xavier can go help her out Tyler beats him to it, which you were kind of glad about, that meant you could talk to him longer.

"Hey, I know this might be a bit forward, considering we technically just met even though you're in one of my classes, but did you maybe want to go to the Rave'N with me?"

You felt your face flush again that day, but not out of fright, okay maybe a little bit of fright, but more of shyness.

"Yeah, sure."

You were trying to seem as casual as possible,

"Cool, cool. Listen, i got to get back to work but I'll definitely talk to you later."

You smile, "Yeah."

You were actually excited for a school dance for once.