#i want to say that i still believe i am lithromantic

[glacierruler]

HE LIKES ME BACK!!!!

[luvclimber]

☆Introduction☆

About me:

1: Hello there! Welcome to my blog! You can call me by my username or Climber, but my real name is Alana but I will mostly feel comfortable going by my username! My pronouns are He/Him but I’m actually a female but I feel oddly comfortable with those pronouns than She/Her pronouns! I’m also Cupioromantic and lithromantic! I’m also a multifandom, multishipper, rareshipper, crossshipper as well!

2: I am a self-taught artist! I have had many moments in my life where I felt about giving up on art, but I have soon to realize that I started to get better at art the longer I continued to try and practice on my own and make more art! I was a little hesitant on showing my art work to the public internet community since I thought people would make fun of it! But I saw that people started to like my art work that I post and so that gave me more confidence to post more of my art work and improve!

3: There are specific stuff that I post on my blog, things such as DemJay, Law of talos, Endzone, Burning Avalon, Witches dimension! I will sometimes post some slightly suggestive stuff but I will mainly post normal and fluff art of my favorite characters! But I may take a week off here and there every once in a while but I promise to post daily every week!

My top 4 kins:

Random facts:

1: I have actually been through many sexuality from the start of a very young age! I desperately tried to look for the right sexuality that fit me! I went from thinking I was a lesbian, straight, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, aromatic, quoisexual, to finally finding the right one that fit me! Cupioromantic and lithromantic!

2: I was a Lankybox fan for a long period of time until they started to post some stuff that I didn’t really find entertaining anymore? I guess that’s how you can put it? I mainly started to watch TikTok and other YouTubes more often now. I actually had a Lankybox TikTok account which one was Gacha and one was edits of them! But I did end up deleting them and changing my account entirely. I did have one other Gacha account on TikTok that I was famous on but sadly I got logged out.

3: I have a YouTube channel that my father used for my garden, the channel and videos are still up, actually! But of course I won’t give you the name of the YouTube channel because I find them cringe and the videos were so long ago-

4: Whenever someone new follows or likes my post I just take a look at their account and see what type of stuff they post! So I kinda stalk your account for a little while!

Interact if:

People who are in the DemJay, Law of talos, Endzone, Burning Avalon, Witches dimension fandom! I love meeting people who have the same interest as me!

Climber fans or kins! I actually have been a fan of Climber since 3 years ago! Also I don’t want people to think I’m saying I’m his number one fan since I find it cringe to say I’m his number one fan. I just really love Climber and could relate with him-

Artists and small artists! I love seeing people’s different styles in their drawings and the fact they put work into it! Like I said, I’m a self-taught artists and worked to get to find the art style I like!

Do not interact:

Problematic people! I really feel uncomfortable with people who are problematic follow me. If you are associated with a problematic person and just make them as an exception for their problematic acts, just because they’re cool in some way or your friend or anything like that, please do not interact with my account. Things like proshippers, pedophiles, loilcon lovers, darkshippers, racist people, homophobic’s, anything like that. And please do tell me if I did or said anything problematic by accident! If you still continue to interact with my blog and ignore my boundaries you will immediately get a HARD block!

People who are firm believers about being a hater. If you’re going to simply going to go on my account and hate for no reason, you will get a HARD block! All of us are just trying to have fun!

[miutonium]

Wow I didn't know there was a range of aromance either!! But the way you explained it is exactly how I've felt! And that's so exciting to me because I've never heard of anyone else feeling that way too!!! I figured I was aro month or two ago, but your post gave me even more pieces to my puzzle! That's so cool and I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share!!

Actually, same! I though aromantic is strictly reserved to people that doesn't have any romantic attraction so I was sceptical of identifying myself to be one because I am very commited to my selfships and fictional characters but I also don't know what to identify myself as because I am not interested in relationship and hearing about people's relationship. It wasn't really an issue until recently I am surrounded by people that non-stop would talk about their relationship and ask me about my relationship and poke me to find a partner that makes me realize I was uncomfortable with the idea of actually being in a relationship itself. And then I remember the last time I was in a relationship, I was unhappy. I had a crush on my ex but when we finally get in a relationship, all I want is to get away from it and be single and I feel so happy when I was single again and I am complacent being single. Apparently people around me take offense and find it weird that I want to be single and express that I don't want a partner and see a future where I have no partner.

When I started questioning about what is wrong with me because I can't have romantic feelings to people, I decided to check if I was aromantic because my situation almost fit the criteria of what I though aromanticism suppose to be and spend hours reading about aromantics and labels under aromantic and I ended up taking a bunch of aromantics quizzes and most of the result fits me being a Lithromantic. I'm going to attach a screenshot of Lithromantic experiences from the Aromantic Wiki:

There's many sites you can find on google that listed what Lithromantic suppose to be but majority of it explains just like the screenshot above. I'm very surprised that all of the criteria mentioned here all fits my feelings towards romances and I always feel very strongly about fictional characters because in my subconcious I know they aren't real and there's no way that I will ever have the opportunity to have those feelings reciprocated.

I'm still learning more and reading more about aromantics and lithromantics but I'm happy to say that I feel comfortable labelling myself under Lithromantic.

I'm happy to hear you're like me too because at least I am not that alone feeling like this 🤧🤧🤧🤧. What I learned is aromantic, despite being just a classification under romantic orientation, there's much more labels and classification under the aromantic spectrum and if you believe you're an aromantic, you can simply identify yourself as any of the spectrums that fits your experiences.

I'm happy that me coming out to be an aro unintentionally helps you piece out what you feel you are. I hope you get to find what you think truly fits your identity and experiences 💕💕💕

[neioo]

Fanfic Rec! ( • ω • ) 

Rules I’m constraining myself to: I’ve either had to read the fic more than three times and/or have thought about it years in the future. (This means I’ll have to leave out some other fics I really enjoyed reading and thought were well written) 

A bunch of different fandoms will be under the cut! (as I expose what I ship across the board too lol)

We’ll Meet Again by George deValier (usuk) (complete)

This is the first fic of george’s that I read, and I’ve read it multiple times, and it’s been integral in my shaping of characterizations within my own hetalia fics. I could include all of his works, but this one stands out the most. I also listen to the vera verse songs and get extremely nostalgic, so there’s that

WW2 AU. London pub owner Arthur Kirkland is driven to distraction by loud, brash American fighter pilot Alfred Jones. Unable to stop it, Arthur finds himself falling for Alfred’s charms… just as the pilot is preparing to leave for war.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue… by anonymous (pruaus) (unfinished)

This fic is odd in the sense that I found it while suddenly getting on a pruaus kick, during which I followed a bunch of pruaus people on tumblr. Eventually, I would find out years later that I was going to the same college as one of these people and become friends with them. So not only does this fic have a nostalgic tie to it, I find the story brilliantly written with wonderful characterization, though it is in a weird format.

Inspired by the film 500 Days of Summer, I’d really like to see a couple meet and fall in love, but eventually one (or both) ends the relationship because they realise it’s not working/they can’t imagine spending their whole life with this person/what have you. I’d really love to see how the relationship develops, with the happy times and the eventual bad times as it falls apart, and then the hope of finding love elsewhere.

Redeemer by CocoaCoveredGods (L x Light, Mello x Matt, Mello x Light) (complete)

I can’t tell you how happy I am that I found this fic after 6 or so years. I can’t tell you how nostalgic is makes me for my death note phase, remember when I would read this in my mom’s office, minimizing the fic on a laptop I hope she never checked. The writing is phenomenal. The format on this site is wonky, but doable to read. (I’m even reformatting it myself right now). It’s mostly everything I could have wanted in a death note fic; it even inspired my own very complex death note AU back in the day. In some alternate reality, I wrote that instead of AWH. I plan to maybe make a personal paper copy for myself of this fic I love it so much. It is on the level of George’s stuff on how much it means to me.

The story takes place *after* Death Note ends, although the main characters have not died. Here the Yellowbox Warehouse is essentially the pinnacle of L's 6-year long offensive against Kira, who believes L to be dead, when he really isn't. L faked his death, and proceeded with the case behind the cover of his three top heirs, Mello, Matt and Near. Kira himself doesn't succumb to his defeat, but is instead rescued at the last moment by his nemesis lover who decides that a more apropos end to the God of the New World is not death--but redemption, in the form of a new case and a 5th so-called Kira, that L and Light must bring down together... or risk losing everything. Yes, there is actually a plot LOL Buuuut, this puppy has yaoi and pairing's aplenty. LxLight and MelloxMatt are technically the mains, but when you cut straight down to it, this is a story about Light and Mello and how they go from hate to need, from enemies to lovers, and maybe even something more...

and indeed there will be time --orginally by lawlietismyfavorite, but they have since deleted their account :’( (the fic is still on AO3, though!) (L x Light) (unfinished)

I love death note, okay? After the beautiful live action series came out (the recent japanese one not that fucking netflix shit), I felt the need to read some fanfic of the series again, and I found this. HOLY SHIT. It’s a soulmate AU that goes through the plot line of the manga/show and fuck. Light is Ace?? The writing is so good?? 

L is the greatest detective of not only this century, but of six centuries. And then there’s Light.

Between the Lines by Klitch (Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki) (complete)

I’ve read this fic about 5 times and have accepted it as canon for this stupid show

The first time Yata saw him the kid was sitting in the corner of the cafeteria all alone with his bought lunch spread out before him, painstakingly picking out the vegetables and stacking them according to color and size.

Picking up the Pieces by SilverThunder (Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki) (complete)

I really like K. It’s a weird show, and it has copious faults. Maybe I just really like that the characters have so much potential, and this fic (as well as the one above) truly expands on that potential. This fic is an excellent exploration of these two character’s relationships, there’s just the right amount of angst. I’ve read it multiple times.

A whole year, gone from his head just like that - and how many memories could you fit in that time, anyway? It wasn’t a question Yata thought he’d ever have to ask, but with so many things changed between Saruhiko and himself, he wasn’t about to leave it alone.

It just sucked that the new world they’d built was still so easy to break.

to be first, to be best by kittebasu (chanyeol) (iwaoi) (complete)

haikyuu!! is odd for me because I don’t care about it anymore, but I really like this fic, and I’ve read it about 5 times. The characterization is on point, and the story is extremely well written.

Hajime is apparently something of a masochist, and as he stares down at the tie-dyed AREA51 T-shirt in his hands, he thinks“I’m totally in love with this asshole, aren’t I?”

Cat's Cradle by evocates (Fujioka Haruhi/Ootori Kyouya/Suoh Tamaki) (complete)

every new years eve, since 2011, my brother and I have watched Ouran High School Host Club. for the past 4 years, I have read and re-read this fic without fail in the days after

Kyouya had been able to see the red threads between people’s fingers since the day he was born. A song of fate, and the breaking of. Tamaki was a man who could never be predictable. Vague spoilers up to Chapter 63.

"Relationship Stuff" by arokitty, Ponderess (shinara) (complete)

This fic helped me realize I was asexual. It’s beautifully written.

"Relationship stuff" — that's what Yasutomo kept calling it on the occasions we discussed how things were going between us. He never failed to say it dismissively, as if it was an annoying plague he was forced to put up with. But even when I told him that he could opt out of it at any time, he did not pull back.

[lithromantic asexual Shinkai, aromantic asexual Arakita, quasiplatonic Shinara]

You Really Ought To Know by isengard (midotaka) (complete)

I really like this ship, and out of all the fics I’ve read of it, this is the one I adore the most (obviously enough to read it three times)

The Fates have an important message for Takao Kazunari.

A Gradual Fall by grassandcitrus (originshipping) (complete)

This maybe isn’t the best written fic, but it has a lot of heart, and for a ship that there is little content for, this fic served me well. It’s hard to write a realistic pokemon AU, but this feels grounded. For whatever reason, this ship still means a lot to me, so when I get in the mood for it, I’ll re-read this fic.

Meeting Wallace turned out to be a life changing event for Steven. He realizes that pretty early on. Other things, however, come with time.

The Punchline and the Resulting Silence by youremyqueen (thiefshipping) (complete)

from the author: “so i went ahead and wrote ygotas fic because, hell, if LK can record videos in which he vocally flirts with himself while playing video games, and then write gay porn about it, I sure as hell can write gay porn about it too.” yeah. 

In which Marik destroys many household appliances, Bakura naps doggedly, and they sometimes pretend - with very little success - not to be in love. (YGOTAS, thiefshipping. ridiculousness meets poeticism meets more ridiculousness.)

Six Days As Boyfriends by sitabethel (thiefshipping) (complete)

I just really like this ship and I have since I was a 14 don’t @me

In order to avoid talks of arranged marriage, Marik convinces Bakura to trick Ishizu into thinking that they're in love.

The Longest Job & The Smallest Favor by emanthony (hisoillu) (complete)

everyone in like march-ish of 2018: omg in the new update of hxh illumi says that he and hisoka are engaged!

me having watched 10 episodes of hxh 4 years ago and having a faint idea of the series: who?

me: *looks up fanfics of them*

me: *finds these two*

me: *proceeds to read them 15 times and gets obsessed with the ship*

Illumi is forced out of the Zoldyck estate and seeks a living arrangement with an associate. He's not altogether pleased with it.

Hisoka is a floor master at Heaven's Arena and has the unexpected pleasure of spending time with one of his oldest acquaintances. He doesn't share Illumi's frustrations.

///

A sequel to the Longest Job, another HisoIllu fanfiction.

Hisoka and Illumi have been living together for six months now without much trouble. But when Illumi's youngest brother goes missing, Hisoka manages to make the situation just a bit too complicated and much more fun.

Lessons in Etiquette by KnockKnockBadminton (promtis) (complete)

I knew nothing about this video game but for whatever reason decided to look up fanfic for it after seeing some fanart, and then because this one was so well written, I, again knowing absolutely knowing about this video game or the series it’s a part of, binged the entire 164k fic in like two days. I’ve also re-read it and convinced my brother to buy the video game as a result. He refers to them as the “leather boy band” and sends me updates about his play through lmao

Begins in high school. From Prompto's desire to befriend the sullen, bullied prince blooms a relationship even the Astrals themselves could not have foreseen. Basically fills in the gaps from Brotherhood to the fall of Insomnia. Some liberties taken.

say it like you mean it by spaceburgers (takuleo) (complete)

Ever since playing the video game, I loved the dynamic between these two characters, and this fic is a wonderfully crafted and fun to read AU staring both of them.

Wherein Leo is a transfer student, Takumi is overly competitive, and they're doing Romeo and Juliet (but not as the titular roles).

[honestlyprettychill]

I hope you don't mind me asking: what's lithoromantic? I know I could just google it, but I'm interested in how you define it. Also, another question: I've seen a lot of ace people say they only like platonic pairings, but you seem to think differently, which is cool. What are your thoughts on this? I hope this isn't offensive; please call my ass out if I said something stupid. I love your art!!

No worries friend, I’m happy to share my thoughts :)

By the way apologies in advance for how long this post got:

To be completely honest, Im really new to all this, and still really confused and trying to figure myself out, so if my thoughts are all jumbled thats why haha XD

Lithromantic is essentially someone on the aromantic spectrum, who still feels romantic attraction, and likes the idea of being in a romantic relationship, but when given the chance to be in one irl, will either loose those romantic feelings, become romance-repulsed, or be scared of committing.  

For me, I’m super romantic, and I would love to be in a romantic relationship, but whenever someone pursues me, or reciprocates feelings back, I suddenly do a 180 and dont want to have anything to do with romance.  

I dont know if it’s because im scared of commitment, or of being hurt again, but whatever the case may be, I am always much more comfortable when im not being pursues by anyone, even if i do have a crush on them.  

As for the second question, I personally believe that two people can have a strong and healthy relationship without having sex.  I think that the bond between people can be just as strong and last just as long.  I have no problem with people having sexual relationships and I know that sex is a way to express love, but I also find it kind of beautiful when people show can genuine love each other and be happy together, without physical intimacy.   

Physical intimacy or sexual tension just doesn’t make sense in my brain.  I dont get it, I never have, and Im not interested in that sort of thing. For me, I crave emotional intimacy.  Someone i can be vulnerable with.  Mutually supporting each other through good times, and not so good times.  Just... cuddling at night, or drinking tea together, talking about our long days after getting home from work.  That’s my ideal relationship.

And some people have told me that that is still considered “platonic”, and that there’d be so much i’d be missing out on, but honestly, if that’s how i feel the most fulfilled in a relationship, then I will just have a “platonic” person that i’ll live with, laugh, cry, and do life with, and eventually grow old with.  And I will be perfectly content, and regret free :)

So yeah i dont know if I even remotely answered you’re questions, anon, but I do appreciate your curiousity! :D  Thanks to whoever read this all haha it means alot

[aro-positivity]

I was wondering if I am aro because I’ve had 2 crushes in my life and I know that if they liked me back I wouldn’t date them. I can’t find anyone else to try and be attracted to. I want a romantic relationship but at the same time I think it’s gross. Before I found out what aro was, I identified as a Lesbian and I still believe that I lOve girls but I don’t want a romance with them? I think about holding hands or kissing and sometimes I’m okay with it and other times I shiver justthinking abt it

so there’s a few possible explanations for you. check them out, and see which one fits the best!

the first possible explanation is that you’re aroflux. that’s someone whose romantic orientation fluctuates—one day you might be demiromantic, the next you might be lithromantic—but you typically stay on the spectrum. this might also mean that your feelings on romance change day to day! one day you might like the idea of romance, the next you might absolutely hate it. this is perfectly valid.

the second possible explanation is that you’re sensually attracted to people! sensual attraction is the desire to do physical, nonsexual things with other people, like, say, kissing or cuddling. there might be a flux aspect to this as well.

the third possible explanation is that you’re lithromantic, which is having your romantic feelings reciprocated makes you not like the person anymore. you could be lithro and just have your feelings on romance coded activities fluctuate.

i hope one of these explanations helped!! if they didn’t, message me and we can talk some more!

[evilpenguinrika]

More Detailed 2017 Year Review

2017 has taught me a lot about things, but I think the one prominent subject is the relationships I've formed and have/had with people. Some of the relationships really gave me some insight about myself a little bit as well. And then there's the relationship that really made me focus on myself a bit more.

...

The beginning of this year I got a girlfriend (despite being lithromantic lol). It was my very first actual relationship with anyone, so it was really exciting but a little scary because I didn't really know what to expect. But I was extremely happy even though it may not seem like I was. Then we broke up and I honestly don't know how I felt throughout that period. It was a mix of indifference, relief, sadness, and contemplating everything from the beginning to the end. Later down the road, we got some closure about our relationship that things became okay again and we returned to being just friends. This part of my life in 2017 made me realize that I still have some personal issues I have to deal with and get over (like trying to force myself to actually talk about my feelings and emotions and not brush it away. and then there's the whole growing up in a broken family that really affected how I saw relationships in general whoops). I do regret giving into my fears and anxiety and having it end, but I also see this as a sign to focus more on myself and fix whatever underlying issues I have. Other then that, I don't regret anything else at all and I enjoyed all the memories that happened throughout the relationship.

...

I finally put a stop to a long-term friendship that honestly did not seem to go anywhere anymore. I won't go into details about it, but it was not a healthy friendship that it was exhausting every single fibre of me that I was just done. And this year made me bold enough to put my foot down and leave it. This incident has also made me realize the friendships I have with other people in my life and had me rethink the relationships I have with them all, listing out the pros and cons. No one is perfect, I know I'm not. But there's also the fact that no one should ever be put through a relationship where it emotionally and mentally drains them in a negative way. And I know for a fact that if something like this happens again, I'm going to trust my gut instincts and just leave.

...

The relationships I have with my best friends has most definitely gotten better and stronger that I confide in them in almost anything, putting all my trust into them. I know that we're there for one another and will keep each other grounded when it comes to the serious stuff. I'm so happy to have them both in my life and to have our friendship remain throughout the years (from elementary/high school until now). They've helped me figure out a LOT of personal issues and incidents that has happened throughout 2017 and I appreciate their advice and comfort and again, I'm just incredibly happy to have them both with me.

...

I've also like to think that some of the friendships I've had with people have bumped up to the Close Friends department. Although not the same level as the ones I have with my best friends, I still value the relationships I have with those close friends. I know we've all shared some extremely personal late night heart-to-heart conversations that came to a bit of a shock. But it's actually nice to know that we've all put so much trust into each other that we were able to HAVE that conversation at all. It's also gotten me to think positively about the friendships I've made through my life and realize that hey, I've made some pretty bomb ass friends!

...

Finally, I think I want to touch up on the relationship I have with myself. As I previously stated before, I am lithromantic. That means I am able to form romantic crushes on people but do not necessarily wish for those feelings to be reciprocated. Or, my crush on them would slowly (or immediately, it usually depends) fade away upon starting a relationship with them. When I first found the name of this orientation, it really made me feel relieved but also disappointed. Relieved because I finally have a name to put on the troubling feelings I keep having when I crush on someone but then immediately feeling grossed out or uncomfortable when they like me back. Disappointed because it made me feel like I would never be able to have a relationship with someone (a girl technically speaking since I am gay lol). It definitely made me afraid to ever commit to relationships or act on feelings knowing that if my feelings ever did fade, the other person would just assume I was leading them on - which I would never ever do. I know I used being lithromantic as an excuse to most things and let that dictate how I approach relationships, even to the point of having it interfere with my very first relationship ever (as mentioned in paragraph 1). Being aware of how my lithromantic feelings works can sometimes bring a lot of problems for me, but it can also help me out in favourable ways. However that may be, I want to take this time to ensure that if I were to ever try dating again, that I would not let my lithromantic feelings strike at my anxiety and fear. I want to be able to at least go through with something without having that punch me in the face every single time (now, I can't help what it does when I'm on my period since that's apparently when my lithromantic feelings are the strongest for some fucking reason). It's also allowed me to try to focus more on communication and also try out different ways to approach romantic relationships that work (like polyamourous? open relationships? who knows!) and won't have my lithromantic feelings go haywire.

...

Asides from the lithromantic feelings, I know that part of why I'm so wishy-washy and so closed-off with relationships is because of the environment I grew up in. My parents have not had the greatest relationship with each other, and I definitely believe growing up and being exposed to their messed up relationship has affected how I see relationships. It's definitely made me afraid to follow in their footsteps. I never ever wish to hurt my significant other or to put them through the same things my parents went through. I know I am not my parents, but sometimes that fear impacts you so deeply that it's hard to really shake off. Especially since I've grown up with it. So this has basically made me want to try and take the time to just focus more on myself and how I approach relationships (whether romantic or platonic) so I don't end up like them. I know relationships can be happy, beautiful, and healthy. I've seen couples in those types of relationships and it always warms my heart to see them so loving towards each other. I just want to be able to make sure what I want and what my needs are when it comes to relationships so I can go about my life without that worry and fear nagging at me.

...

2017 has been full of amazing experiences, downfalls, and drama that I don't even know what 2018 will bring. But one thing I know is that I'm so lucky to have met all the people this year, whether it's from school, dragon boat, or sword fighting. I've made so many wonderful memories that I will forever be proud of (winning those 2 beautiful second place medals was DEFINITELY the highlight of my summer!!) I hope to make even more beautiful memories with everyone! I really hope I haven't forgotten anything. I'm pretty sure I've said everything that I wanted to say lol

I'm so excited to see what 2018 will bring, but also a little scared ha ha!

p.s. another thing I really hope 2018 will bring to me is to experience a helluva lot more gay stuff like, pls 2018. help a queer gal out 🏳️‍🌈

[acesthetically-pleasing]

Romantic For A Leaf [21/52]

Asexual Awareness Week Fandom Challenge 2017

Tues 24th, Day 3: Post about canon and headcanoned asexual/spectrum characters in games and any other media not mentioned in the previous days.

For this occasion 21st drabble of 52 aspec drabbles of 2017. All about Douglas Richardson. Well, okay, mostlyaboutDouglas Richardson. It’s also about  Arthur Shappey. [Also on AO3]

Douglas doesn't get married for the fourth time.

He thinks about it sometimes.

When he chats up a lady in a bar and they have a good time. He remembers how much fun it is to talk to someone, flirt shamelessly and enjoy the company of a beautiful woman.

He thinks about it on Herc's and Carolyn's wedding, because hey, maybe three time is not the charm. Maybe fifth time will make it. It worked for Herc, it seems. They're both disgustingly happy, snapping at each other all the time and stealing affectionate glances like they're teenagers. Carolyn tries to be sneaky about it at least, though went caught she just raises an eyebrow in the classic "So what? what you're going to do about it? I'm not embarrassed!" before she turns away, fake boredom carefully painted on her face. Herc just looks like a besotted idiot that he is.

Douglas thinks about marriage when the holidays come and he's alone. He spent last year with Martin, it was fun. Mostly because he convinced Martin that the best way to avoid meeting potential-future-in-laws too early and being stuck with his own, far less royal, but a not less annoying family was to simply tell both parts he is spending Christmas with the other one and just stay at Douglas's. Martin in a frenzy while trying to lie was better than any Christmas movie.

Theresa figured it out by the second phone call and niggled Martin until he confessed everything and she called him a silly bean who was just supposed to tell her things like that.

Mostly because she needed to know when he got overwhelmed more than usual. But also partly because she wanted to be on a scheme and escape to Douglas' too.

Douglas took it as a compliment, but did not believe for a second he will be granted another Christmas like this. Martin was off to become a royal family member and he needed to come to terms with that.

Douglas faces the idea of empty, lonely Christmas in his empty house and gets himself a trip to Thailand instead.

He is not made for solitude, he needs people around and in a way, he does have them. He sees Carolyn and Herc often enough, Arthur is almost a constant bother and a solid noise creator. Martin calls at least once a fortnight and Douglas always makes time for that. Whether he is alone or playing cards with Kurt and the boys, or going to the pool, or eating at a fancy restaurant to treat himself... He walks out of a few rooms containing few beautiful dates or dear friends to chat with Martin for few minutes at the very least. Often longer. Once they talked for two hours because Martin had a difficult flight the next day and he needed someone who was willing to listen and who would understand what he's talking about. Douglas made that lending over a dozen times, he got vaguely bored of the subject quickly enough, but he misses Martin and misses Martin needing him. What he did in his lonely bed after they ended the conversation, the memory of Martin's voice still fresh in his mind, that was no one's business but his.

Douglas often thinks about marriage, sometimes not entirely out of his own will.

"Do you think you will get married again, Douglas?"

Of course, most people are too polite to just bring it up. It is a passing joke or half a remark whenever he expresses an interest in someone, but no one blatantly asks. Well, no one but Arthur.

"I rather think that's behind me now. Why? Is marriage on your mind, my young fella?"

"Sort of," Arthur shrugs. "I've been with Katie for a long time now."

Douglas is briefly stumped, while he knows that Arthur dates - a shocking bit of knowledge but one he digested a long time ago - the idea of him actually marrying someone... settling down... Well, that's quite mindblowing.

"Well, that is certainly one way to go from there."

"No, I don't mean like right now. She is brilliant, but I don't think mum would be happy if I just proposed without thinking properly about that."

"No, I don't think she would be." Douglas can't wait for Carolyn to hear this news and silently blesses Arthur's chattiness which gave Douglas a unique opportunity to look calm and collected when everyone else will splatter.

"But I was just thinking because I've never been with anyone for more than a year! And it's been almost two! And she's really brilliant and has the best ideas and loves me and doesn't mind that I'm ace... She was brilliant about it! And she gives the best hugs... I just think maybe, you know, in the future. And I thought I'd ask you about marriage, I mean you had three of them!"

"Herc just had his fifth!" Douglas points out bitterly.

"Well, yeah, but he's married to mom! He will tell her everything. And it's not a secret!" Arthur assures quickly. "But it's not anything yet so she doesn't have to know."

"That is a very logical argument, Arthur."

"Thanks. So, why won't you marry again?"

Douglas sighs. Arthur is apparently on the trope and like a dog with a bone, with true un-Arthurian determination, he was refusing to obediently follow any distraction.  

"I don't think relationships are exactly for me, Arthur," Douglas replies, surprising himself with the honesty. "I seem to start losing the interest, so to speak, as soon as the deal is sealed and my affections are returned. I don't think I would like to go through that again. It's far too much mess for a man my age."

He grins self-mockingly and hopes for the best. It would work with Martin too.

Arthur, to Douglas' great grief, is not Martin.

"So you're like lithromantic?"

Douglas blinks in surprise.

"I have no idea what that is, and I'm quite frankly shocked that you do. And that you can say a word that long."

Arthur waves him off, clearly not offended. Actually seeming to brighten up as if he was offered a compliment.

"I read a lot when Katie and I talked about how I don't like sex and don't want it and it's okay, she told me all about asexuality and we read more together and there were all those complicated words, but I liked learning them, because I thought I never had a word and I thought it's just me being me and maybe it wasn't really okay, you know? So maybe when I heard someone talking about that I could have a word for them and they will feel better too!"

"Oh?" offers Douglas weakly. He can't remember when was the last time he had as little control of a conversation as he does now, but he's pretty sure it involved Arthur as well.

"Yeah! And there was a word, I'm pretty sure it was lithromantic, I remember because I thought it sounded funny, like your romantic for a leaf, and it's like that, that you fall in love with someone, but when they return your feelings it disappears."

"Huh," Douglas hums thoughtfully, he's not sure whether he should trust Arthur on his vocabulary skills, but the concept is somewhat comforting. Still, he really doesn't want to get stuck with Arthur Shappey trying to figure out his romantic life or whatever he got into now, a stronger distraction is very much required. "Well, that confirms I'm no expert on making a good marriage, but I am, of course, at your service regarding the grand proposal!"

"Oh! Brilliant! Because I was thinking it has to be super brilliant, you know? So she will want to say yes. Not that I want her to say yes because there will be a lot of balloons, but it couldn't hurt, right?"

"Of course," assures Douglas, barely listening to the ideas that seem to involve copious amount of food and somehow also polar bears and maybe an airplane.

After checking the autopilot is still doing a marvelous job, Douglas discreetly pulls out his phone and puts lithromantic in the search engine. He doesn't need a definition for anything, of course, but still, it's good to check your facts.

[gay-little-sideblog]

i think my confusion stems from this manga i read the other day where two girls were being very sensual with each other, and i was filled with this feeling. i'm not sure what it is?

i'm a little panromantic in the sense that i've entertained the thought of being in a relationship with any gender. but that's where it stops. i've never had a genuine crush on anyone, nor have i actively desired or pursued after a romantic relationship - i like romance in theory, but not in real life. i'm lithromantic? that's an aspect of it, i believe. essentially, my arospec ass just wants a queerplatonic partner i can bond with for the rest of my life. but what are the chances i'll find someone like that? in a country as conservative as mine, most people don't even know aromanticism exists. closely related, but not directly linked, is asexuality. there's a consistent lack of visibility for this orientation. because of that lack of visibility, i haven't been able to talk to anyone my age about my experiences and whether that means i'm aro/ace. it's hard to settle on an identity because

a) i am searching for an attraction that doesn't exist, and

b) i have no other standard to compare myself to.

i can read forum posts and articles about asexuality, but in the end, it really is a spectrum and i still haven't quite figured out where i lie. i just wish i would feel something for someone, but if i go my entire life without feeling anything then i can safely say i'm aro ace.

[itscomplicateddarling-blog]

Friend Goals

ME: I am akoiromantic or lithromantic. Whatever you want to call it.

B: Yeah.

ME: I can't believe I just came out to you over text. I know it's not the same thing as being gay, bi, or pan. But still...Woah.

B: I mean I'm Bi but don't worry I don't like you like that I lean more towards boys.

ME: Cool!

B: I thought you were gonna say ew.

ME: I am your friend. I wouldn't stop being your friend because of who you like. Personally, I think it's awesome. Hey! We are both in the LGBTQIA+ community! I am also Asexual. So, You know, the A.

B: HAHA well that's good. I support as long as your happy :)

ME: I am. Thanks for understanding. You get the best of both worlds, and I get BFF's.

ME: WAIT. Did we just come out to each other? Talk about friendship goals!

B: ...oMG