#i want to love the hunger games but man... they're just good and really nothing more

[wutheringmights]

After feeling like an absolute clown when I saw The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes movie in theaters, I figured it was time I sat down and read the original novel for myself. Unsurprisingly, I really enjoyed the book. It's definitely my favorite Hunger Games novel.

I should leave a disclaimer real quick. So I read the original trilogy a few years before the movies were released. I liked them well enough, but I always struggled to love them. Unfortunately, my biggest problem is Katniss. She's a great character. I do not like being stuck in her POV. I wish this was an ensemble story so that every side of the conflict is explored. In that way, the movies almost work better for me. I say almost, as I have such a bone to pick with Catching Fire throwing Katniss back into the arena, but that's another rant for another time.

My point is that I have never been passionate about the series, and I have not read the books in many, many years.

Yet, I still feel fairly confident calling this the best book in the series. I like exploring stories from the wrong perspective. Seeing the games from the eyes of the Capitol is genuinely interesting. I love the chapters where the students debate the philosophy of the games. I love watching Coriolanus justify his own decisions. I am obsessed with how this man thinks.

I cannot give enough praise for how Collins write Coriolanus's point of view. Here, the limited perspective works flawlessly. Seeing the world filtered through his eyes is interesting-- though I wonder why she chose to write this novel in limited third person? Did she want the veneer of objectivity that comes with third person POV, or is the first person POV trend in YA over?

I am not saying this book is perfect. It's goofy in one too many places, and there are a few plot points that just feel very immature to me (mainly, Coriolanus having to save Sejanus from the arena-- only a YA novel would make that justifiable).

My biggest problem is the loss of tension after the second act. As important as it is for the story to take Lucy Gray and Coriolanus out of the Capitol and the games, that third act really drags. There needed to be one more plotline carried over from the first two acts to help keep the suspension building. Collins really could have shaved 100 pages off this book, or made that third act into a second novel entirely.

With that in mind, I think I still like the movie better, if only for all the ways it condenses the story and fixes some of the pacing.

What really upsets me is how many people on Good Reads hate this book. I saw one review decrying the concept of this novel as ill-conceived-- something about trying to humanize the Hunger Games' Palpatine. That takes me back to how hung-up I am at the concept of a Hunger Games fandom. These books are so committed to their message and themes that it's always weird to see people talk about ships and stuff. I guess I just don't see the appeal.

When I was in high school, English teachers were just allowing the first book to be read and analyzed for class. According to a teacher friend of mine, the book is now an official part of the curriculum. I think that's a little unwarranted too. But if kids studied The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes in school... yeah, I would be okay with that one.

[inniave]

after surgery i'm buying myself pentiment goddamnit

[ldrfanatic]

slytherin boys at ttpd songs - the anthology

part two of the first part featuring only the added songs from the anthology

I forgot tags im sorry!!

slytherin boys my bookcase

mattheo riddle as... the black dog

"old habits die screaming" + "And remember how my rain soaked body was shaking. Do you hate me?" + "For a cruel fraternity, I pledged, and I still mean it." + "Now I wanna sell my house and set fire to all my clothes. And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons."

explanation - following the war, I think that mattheo would have the hardest time out of all of them. Not because of being voldemort's son (I think he's used to the looks he gets from that). I think he has the worst time because of all of them, he has mad survivor's guilt. how is it that all of those good people died, and him, pledged deatheater, got to live? on top of that, mattheo is still wrestling with the trauma that his father inflicted on him. So, when a ministry member comes to begrudgingly tell him that he's inherited an estate from his father (really an estate his father stole from one of his followers), mattheo is actually sickened. He really does not want that property and cannot stand to be in that house. (he does eventually accept it and then donate it to an orphanage for magical children. there's a hopeful part of him that thinks that if his father hadn't been treated so poorly by muggle orphanages when he was a kid that maybe he could've been a better person).

draco malfoy as... cassandra

"When it's burn the witch they're shrieking, when the truth comes out it's quiet" + "twisting all my smiles into snarls" + "they say what doesn't kill you makes you aware, what happens if it becomes who you are?" + "bloods thick but nothing like a payroll"

explanation - out of everyone in the series, explicit, canon, and otherwise, draco was the one that saw the best and the worst of both sides. when he was growing up, he was always taught the value behind being a pureblood. that it was blood purity that determined a person's worth. their value. but a lot of that changed when he started seeing the ugly sides of the malfoy family. by the time he realized that his father was little more than voldemort's lackey (and not even the most important one), it was too late. his father had already molded him. the bright and happy kid that he once was had started to sneer at all of his friends. he no longer felt like it was a service to the magical community to finger out mudbloods in his classes to his parents. afterall, he also quickly realized that his father cared far more for money and power than he ever really cared about purity. he was just a number on a payroll.

theodore nott as.... how did it end?

"and so a touch that was my birth right became foreign" + "it's happening again, the empathetic hunger descends" + "lost the game of chance, what are the chances?" + "leaving me bereft and reeling, my beloved ghost and me, sitting in a tree, d-y-i-n-g"

explanation - the sympathetic looks started when theo's mother died in fourth year, and theo decided that he absolutely hated them. He didn't want people to look at him like that, or to walk on eggshells like they were constantly in fear of saying the wrong thing. then once word got out that his father beat him, he started keeping to himself. it was easier to avoid conversation all together than to try to explain the bruises when everyone already pitied him for his mother's death. what hurt the most, was that his mother had died so unexpectedly. to a disease that killed less than 100 people a year. the odds were in her favor, and she still lost. then theo lost too. what hurt just as much, was the way that his father changed after his mother died. the way that every little thing seemed to set him on a warpath. when he was a kid, theo loved his parents, and now, it felt like when he lost his mother, his father died too. one man, two ghosts, and theo.

enzo berskhire as... the manuscript

"and the years passed like scenes of a show" + "looking backwards, might be the only way to move forward" + "and the tears fell, in synchronicity with the score, and at last, he knew what the agony had been for" + "the only thing that's left is the manuscript"

explanation - lorenzo berkshire had loved history his whole life. where his friends found the subject bore them to tears, lorenzo found it a bittersweet interest. afterall, he'd never been that good at potions, always doing something wrong, and while he could hold himself steady on a broom, he was never going to be a quidditch star. history was easy. it felt natural. to divulge in the stories of the witches and wizards before him. following the war, a lot of death eaters wanted to move past it all. they wanted to forget. but lorenzo knew that it was important. that as hard as it was and as many tears as it may cause them, that they had to understand before they could progress, and the only way to understand was to look backwards. so, he made it his personal mission in his late twenties to record. he traveled all over europe for nearly thirty years gathering stories from death eaters of all ages and backgrounds. at nearly age fifty, he published his first and only book, echoes of the damned: the untold stories of former death eaters. unfortunately, he fell ill and died before he got the chance to see the impact his words made on the wizarding world.

[salisburyliam]

My WORST to BEST ranking for Heaven's Secret 2 LIs

Oh boy I finally did it!!!! never want to read this book ever again, lmao

NOTE 1: We all know that HS2 has its flaws —S1 feels like a fever dream— but personally one that really irks me is not being able to choose whether or NOT you want to marry your LI. I mention this because many LIs routes are (negatively) affected by this sudden marriage imo

NOTE 2: Winchesto you deserve so much better than Rebecca.

7. Dino - He's never been a character I've been particularly fond of, but at least in HS1 he had some narrative importance (the dynamic with Lucifer was a lot of fun too). His relevance in HS2 is, well, zero & I personally don't feel the chemistry between Vicky and him at all. That being said. Of all the LIs, the only one with whom the wedding makes absolute sense is with Dino - he's 100% husband material.

Being good should not be equivalent to being boring… but in Dino's case, it is. 4/10

6. War - His dynamic with Vicky is… okay-ish? I guess??? They are a hot couple (I personally love his design & his laugh is sexy af) but the connection is lacking & there is no emotional intimacy whatsoever. They keep saying they're in love but are theeey? You don't know each other. Also, if you decide not to k*ll him and don't romance him later in s2 he's literally just a background character. 

I don't think this man is ready to be a husband - he should get therapy first. 5/10

5. Hunger - If it were a matter of rating characters, Hunger would be in the top three. His first appearance is one of my favorite scenes in the book along with the board game moment, lmao. But if it comes to rating him as a LI… The relationship feels rushed, to say the least. Marrying a character who appears halfway through the second season makes no sense at all - their wedding scene is just weird.

You guys met like five episodes ago. How about we start by dating first? 6/10

his smile is unsettling lol 4. Malbonte - Replaying this book so many times has made me really appreciate Malbonte. A soldier who will do whatever it takes to win. I love how everyone assumes that he always, always, has a plan (he usually does). But as a LI? His main emotion is rage and pure indifference. As a husband for life, I don't understand how that could work: I can imagine Vicky asking him how his day was and Malbonte's only response being '….' 😐🙄 Go boy give us nothing!

Seriously though. I really love him as a character, but he needs to join War in that therapy thing. 7/10

3. Astaroth - The first interactions are awful & personally his sprite doesn't help either (he's literally a male M*ley Cyrus) but he has so much chemistry with Vicky, it surprised me. Their relationship feels organic as you progress, but just like the rest of the characters that appear in the second book, it all feels rushed. The wedding option should ONLY have been available for characters that appeared in the previous book - with new ones it just feels unearned.

Still, it had potential. 8/10

2. Mimi - The only female LI (how's that legal) and one of my favorites. tbh I think she's TOO good for Vicky??? lmao. A character who is impossible not to adore (even judgy Rebecca gives her approval), in-laws anyone would love to have, and a route that is equal parts endearing and passionate. I confess I kinda miss her sprite from the first book tho

The only reason she's not at the top of the list is the motherf*cker below. 9/10 

1. Lucifer - Simply put, they feel like soulmates (he was my LI in the first book so that also plays into it). I haate his behavior in S1, but even with that rocky start the dynamic between Vicky and Lucifer is, and will always be, one of my favorites. They have everything: chemistry, banter, passion, vulnerability moments... I love the contrast of the Lucifer from HS1 with the Lucifer in the final episode. That's growth.

I sincerely hope the third book focuses on their married life and, hopefully, Lucifer being a girl dad 😍😍 10/10

CREDIT

[asegunda]

Lots of Sparks

PJO

Pairing: PLATONIC! Jackson Family (Paul and Tyson inculded) x Mortal! GN!Reader

Words: 1222

Summary: This is supposed to be a Part 2, of my other work "A Little Spark", since I'm making this a timeskip it will be at the final of Book 4, in Percy's 15th Birthday Party, and the Start of Book 5, before he is with Rachel. The Jackson family receives 2 guests in the party, one we know who they are, but what about the 2nd?

Warnings: Timeline: End of Book 4: The Battle of the Labyrinth and Start of Book 5: The Last Olymlian. English is not my 1st language! And you are older than in Part 1. Canon change.

Notes: Thank you so much for liking so much Part 1! I tried to do my best since I didn't really have something to do. Most of this is fluff because Gabe (🤢) is finally gone! And family bonding. I hope you like this part as the first, but Idk..

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While preparing the party you and Percy were talking of what Paul calls 'Girl affairs'.

"...And then she KISSED ME." Percy says looking at you.

"Wait. She kissed you? And you are just telling me now dumbass!" You whisper to him.

"I didn't know how to bring that up and believe me when I say that I'm still trying to believe it." He says while taking napkins out of the drawer.

"...And you two are dating now right?" You ask.

"No.."

"What do you mean no?...You guys kissed and like eachother what more do you need to start dating?" You say taking plastic cups and putting them in the table.

"I don't know..it's just.." He says, don't knowing what to say more.

"Is it because of your new friend Rachel?" You ask.

"What? Why would it be?"

"It's just that you remembered her number after seeing it one time, ...and since you came back from the mission you are either talking about dying, Annabeth or her." You say looking at the sides and eating a bit of a chocolate from the blue cake.

"Hey! That's not true! And stop eating the chocolate! Mom will think it was me." He says blushing.

"Okay, but you three look like a love triangle or something. Like Katniss, Peeta and Gale." You say nodding to yourself.

"Since when did you read the Hunger Games?"

"1 month ago, but that's not the important, the important is that you are in a love triangle." You say laughing.

"I'm not!" He says getting out of the room, heat in his ears.

"Why are you running baby?" You tease but he doesn't respond back and goes to his room.

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You and Sally were eating the cake while Paul talked with Tyson, his eyes shining while Paul talks about how good at Monopoly he is, Tyson makes a big smile as he hears the compliments leave the other man's mout.

Percy was talking to his father, he looked like a fisherman to you, not the mighty God of the Seas, but you guess that was his human form.. when he saw you he gave you a quick, but genuine smile, while he smiled you thought how much his green eyes represented Percy's, they were certainly family, but he was Tyson's dad too, and Tyson loved him as you saw with his 'Daddy' the moment Poseidon enetred the apartment. You still can't understand why the gods are always having children, don't they have more mighty things to do? Like protect they're land or the Olympus? You couldn't really understand.

You get out of these thoughts when Tyson asks if you want to play Uno, you can't say no right? So you two play.

As you are playing Percy comes back from his conversation with Poseidon, looking happy but at the same time kinda shaken up.

"Are you okay Perc?" You ask, not wanting to know how the hell Poseidon dissapeard, problaly god stuff, and he looks at you and smiles.

"Yeah..it's nothing that I'm not used to." He says and sits.

While he sits Paul calls in the kitchen.

'Problaly to talk about the wedding proposal.' You think.

He already told you that he wants to marry Sally, for you it's all good, he is already the person who takes you to school and you see the way Sally looks at him and he looks at her. You know that Percy is gonna accept it too. Paul is a really cool and swett guy.

You scream Uno while Tyson still has 5 cards and you smile proud of yourself.

After that you hear a knock at the door, Sally goes open it.

As she opens a man in a suit talks to her and after the talk she looks at you.

"Y/N, dear, can you come here?" You nod and come to the door.

Sally passes her arms around you while you look at the man.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but..this is complicated to say..well.. you're biological mother entered in contact with us. She says she wants to take care of you." He tells and both you and Sally look tense.

"But why would she want something with Y/N, she never showed interest in your life until now." Sally asks while looking at you.

You tense up.

"Well, I have a guess.." He sighs. "After Mr. Ugliano death all of his debts passed to her. Maybe taking care of her would be a indirect revenge with the person with the most connections with Mr. Ugliano. That is you, Y/N."

"No, that can't be!" Sally yells alerting the rest of the family that were in the living room (Percy was on is room.)

"I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson but Y/N isn't still legally your child." He says to her and looks at you. "If your mother wants to take your full care of you, she can even go to court."

"She isn't my mother, Sally is, I don't want to see her. Or be with her." You say your eyes starting to go red, Sally hugs you.

"If those adoption files didn't took that long.." She whispers that only the man can hear, he nods.

"Im sorry Mrs. Jackson, the best you can do is go to the court against her, maybe if you win the judges acelarate the adoption process."

Sally smiles to him and nods

"Thank you Sir for alerting us."

"It's nothing Mrs. Jackson, have a rest of a good party." He smiles at you and gets out of the apartment.

"Well looks like I'm going to court." She says as she closes the door and looks at Paul.

"...What?" He asks and while he is explaining you go to Percy's room to explain the situation.

When you open the door Percy is with another boy, who looks like a zombie, and emo, really emo.

"I can come back latter, bye Perc and Perc emo friend." You close the door again and go back to the living room, hearing a laugh after that, problaly Percy's.

Paul tells you that you don't need to worry when you get at the living room.

"When the time comes everything will be solved." He says.

You nod and hug him, he smiles at you.

The rest of the night you all play card games and after some hours Percy comes back from talking with his emo friend, looking again shaken up.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨☆୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

All of your family is taking another party from the court win. Your mom didn't even have the conditions to take you in, and even if she had you weren't coming.

In some days Percy is also taking a vacation with is friend Rachel family.

Every time he talked about it to you, you made a knowing look, his love problems were as good as a reality show, you don't even want to know Annabeth face when she finds out. You could laugh with that.

But now not even Percy is thinking about that vacation he is thinking of how much you grew up since he met you, still in the control of Smelly Gabe, and how much more happy you were in these years after taking you with them.

He hugs you. Now that doesn't matter,

you are officialy Y/N Jackson.

[masked-and-doomed]

NEW ME NEW INTRO!!

Hello, I'm Kat/Kats (or Yomotsu), welcome!! I am so normal about my boyfriends.

Please feel free to ask me about my OC, UG!! Hell, even cooler if you do it in a roleplay kinda way.

Other places you can find me:

@katsdoodles - art blog/archive.

Discord: thatonekats

👆 just in case. Tumblr explodes. Talk to me if you wanna ig (I am not good at conversing. So. Keep that in mind.)

Ao3: ThatOneKat2

👆 Might as well have it here. I've been more in a writing mood this year.

Twitter: @ThatOneKats

I have a twitter now I fucking guess. A bit of bonus content there (a little bit more of unhinged thoughts) but you're not missing much if you don't go there.

UG RP twt: @LIBRARIAMYLAMB

If you wanna see little bits of UG musing about go there.

--

Suspected BPD, have been diagnosed autistic. I will feel things very intensely either forever or feel nothing about it in the next hour max. You may see vent posts. Every now and then. Check the tagging system to block em out.

I am deeply in love and sickly affectionate for my 4 darlings. They're my boyfriends, girlfriends, besties- our relationship? Is uhh whatever man. It's love. It's love.

First two being Yomotsu Hirasaka (pfp), and Takao Hiyama. They are my most intense hyperfixation of 2 years.! They are from Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. An anime/manga which I don't really like.

The next beloved is Pocketcat! He is from Fear and Hunger. He's. A silly :) There's so much intrigue of him aaaghhh ough he is so sad.

Last one !! Faust. From Guilty Gear. He's a. He's somebody. Got him on Valentine's Day. He makes me a different kind of ill. Alas, this doctor cannot cure me.

They're 💙 just like me fr. I love them. URL is them btw. Masked men, doomed.

(comfortable with sharing and gushing together with everyone. I don't mind if you send or @ me in stuff that has Faust shipped with someone, (I like appreciating art of Faust in any form :] ) just know I'm uncomfy with all (canon x canon) Faust ships except Happy Chaos, meaning that I won't talk about them (eg., fau.slayer) together.)

I am. Also obsessed with my lambs as well. (The Conclave, consisting of Axus, Libraria, Baldias, and Chronus) They mean a lot to me. I wish to give them happiness they didn't have the time nor place for. You will see me reblog lambs and tag it as them. Feel free to send me lamb pictures, effectively beaming Conclave to me.

NOTE! I do sometimes post about needing my darlings to kill themselves, or wish great harm upon them. I will not always have positive things to say about them. I am a hater as much as I am a lover. (Not the "I want him dead" (lovingly) (though I do have sadism and would enjoy killing them for the fun of it), I have genuine hatred towards them all (Libraria the least) and I loathe their existence.

(if I had to guess, this is the bpd doing its thing)

--

Yayaya tagging system time!

#ah rambling - general yapping tag

#[MN/funger] rambling - ramblings of MN or funger

#[MN/funger] bangers - memes/shitposts of that fandom

#oc time - posts about the little OCs I have (currently empty. DW about it)

#unnamed girlie - posts about my self insert. (UG for short)

#UG spoilers - in case you wanna go through the UG tag but not be spoiled about the endings and such.

#guy in my head - headcanon posts

#doodle tag - stuff not high effort enough to put into my art blog goes here

#reblog moment - reblogs! So you can filter them out

#lovesick - yandere / obsessive behaviour

#gatito - kitty tag.

#belalang beloveds - grasshopper tag. Belalang is grasshopper in Malay :)

#art save - images I wanna draw (typically memes I wanna draw with my guys)

#art reference material - reblogs of posts with helpful art stuff

#general reference material - reblogs of posts with whatever that isn't art. Not really 'general' perse but I don't have another word

#epic meowtual art - art by the meowtuals!

#ask game - reblogs of ask game posts

#ask game answer - answers to asks abt the ask game

#hello asker - ask tag

#tag game - reblog of posts that are meant to have you tag other ppl to continue the chain

#negative. And #/negative are used for vent posts. Make those sometimes.

#hxrny aroace on main - (mind the x) epic posts where I feel feelings for some characters (carnally)

#fanfic shit idfk - posts related to fanfics I'm reading (or something like that)

#girl what you on?? - posts where I'm in some sort of delirium, talking to my beloveds. And being ill about them.

#shit I send to fictional guy - posts I'd send to fictional characters. Will prob have their name tagged too.

#unnamed oc core - wow it's just like him fr. Many things will be tagged this btw. They are not okay. (Same person as UG jsyk)

#pocketkitty - for posts I don't want in the pocket.cat tag or reblogging posts that are like pocket.cat. (only applies to him everyone else gets tagged with their name in posts that are like them)

#robot nephew - similar to pocketkitty just that it's. Mr robo.t K.y

#silly doctor man - I fell into gui.lty g.ear and now I'm in love with this bozo. When I don't want it to be in the main tag. Yes like pocketkitty and robo bo.

#mister omelette - guy that asks which came first the chicken or the egg. Answers himself, it's omelette.

#mask quartet - fucking stupid masked bitches trying to save humanity gone wrong

Liveblog tags:

Guilty gear: #pride in my gears: sign, #pride in my gears: rev, #pride in my gears: overture, #pride in my gears: strive

--

Tag me in stuff you think I like!! I don't mind! Or like tag games.

There's also a *cough cough* side blog. For degenerate thoughts of mine. If you want it just give a DM ig.

--

Pictures i want here

(This applies mostly to Faust. Sorry not sorry Faust. I will give you the worst horrors.)

(This is me any time someone mentions Conclave. I wish I could say I was exaggerating. I'll just say that Conclave has spiked my libido and I've been the fastest to draw suggestive art of them and write smut of them than of any other character I've fallen in love with. I need them carnally. And I tell you, it is a need.)

[sinninghowlter]

Danisnotadom

Ship: Phan Rating: E Contains: collaring, pre-established relationship, very light angst, degradation, namecalling, smut, cursing, heavy language, d/s undertones, daddy kink mentioned four (4) times, use of the word "slut" Words: 5746 Summary: Dan's not a dom. Everyone swears up and down that he is, insists he is domming his boyfriend and is too good to take it in the ass.

Phil's not a sub. Everyone thinks he is, everyone thinks his baby is in charge. What they don't know is his hardcore boyfriend is actually a princess. Read it below or on AO3

This fic was a brainchild of mine back in December 2022 and finally, here it is! It wouldn't exist if not for the cheering on of the Superstarkers groupchat on Discord and my writing friend @khalixascorner!! Thank you for believing in me and this fic with two strangers you've never heard of before me. A/N: this is unbeta'd and uses 2015 phandom with 2022 dan and phil. :)

 "Alright guys, Dan insists he's starving so I've gotta feed him before he eats me."

 "Not like that!" Dan shouts from the other room, "I just have been in the U.S. for so fucking long that all I want is familiar food goddammit!" 

 "You can't swear on my live streams, Dan!!" Phil shouts back. He begins scanning the chat, hoping that a slew of messages reading "OMG PHAN!!!!1!1!" and "DOMESTIC!!!!" doesn't follow. Instead of the expected messages, he starts seeing a few, albeit more explicit, replies in the chat: 'I bet he likes it that way', 'Dan probably eats him all the time', 'We all know Phil likes his daddy to eat it.' He hides the need to frown and roll his eyes behind a smile, answering an ask about what kind of plant the followers should get. "Um... I think you should get a cactus! They're always a good choice!" 

 "Phil! I'm starving!! Let's gooooooooOO!!!" Dan whines, now in the doorway. Phil looks up, taking in the younger's form leaning against the white wood. Dan smirks as Phil's eyebrows raised in challenge. 

 'omgggg look at the way he looks at Dan!!! OTP FOR LIFEEEEEEEE', 'PHAN DOMESTIC!!!!!' the chat reads, but neither of the boys are paying any attention to Phil's live stream. 

 "What are you thinking for food?" Phil asks, silently hoping for pizza. 

 "How's pizza?" Dan murmurs, and Phil can't help but smile affectionately at his boyfriend, "I really don't wanna cook."

 "Sounds good," Phil replies, trying to tune out the part of his head that hones in on the comments in the live stream about how he does anything Dan says. He's not a simp. He just likes to indulge his boyfriend after he's traversed half the world alone for the first time in 13 years. He wants Dan to feel loved, heard... safe. If that means that a handful of kids on the internet calls him #DanHowellsSlut, well that's on them. 

 "Text me what you want, and I will order so you can wrap up your stream!" Dan smiles, walking out of the living room and back into the office, watching the end of the stream.

 "Alright guys, I guess that means it's time for me to hop off here. For real this time. Danny boy gets fussy when he's not eating carbs." Phil chuckles at his own joke, saying bye to a few people in the crowd. "See you guys next week! Bye!" He signs off the live stream, falling back against the couch, and closing the lid of his MacBook with his foot. "Fuck..." he mumbles to no one in particular. Dan texts him, and he replies mindlessly, requesting the usual from Domino's. 

 "Daaaaan..." Phil calls, waiting for the man to reappear in the doorway.  

 "Yeah? You alright?" Dan pokes his head in, eyebrows pulled together in concern. They had just been texting, what was wrong that he felt like talking in person?

 "I... it's nothing." He shakes his head, deciding last minute not to bring it up to the other, "Want to watch a movie or something with our pizza?"

 "Sure. We should watch something old though, I don't really have the energy for something new."

 "How's Hunger Games? We both have seen that loads of times."

 "Perfect. Put it on then, I think the pizza is here." He rushes to the door, tipping the person and handing the boxes to Phil.  He collects the paper towels and glasses from the kitchen, sitting down on the turquoise couch next to his partner. "Lights on or off?"

 "How's lamplight?" Phil replies, distracted by the flatscreen across the room. He clicks on the movie, pushing his glasses up his nose as he grabs a slice of the pizza. Dan does the same, laying his legs across Phil's lap and watches the movie.

 After a few slices, Phil takes to scrolling Tumblr on his iPhone. He smiles at the screencaps from his liveshow, likes a couple of pieces of fanart of himself, and reblogs a couple of gifs for the gaming channel. 

Then it happens. 

 He hits a group of posts commenting on how whipped he is for Dan. How submissive he is, and how good he is for Dan. He can't help but scroll through the asks on the blog, reading about how he definitely almost called Dan "daddy" in a recent video. How he definitely wanted to kiss him at 12:23 in the newest gaming video... He sighs softly, turning back to the movie, just in time to see Katniss pick up her bow for the first time.

 Dan's fallen asleep by the time the credits roll. Phil can't help but smile at the man wrapped up in his pimp blanket and hugging the cloud pillow. He looks exhausted and a tiny part of his heart breaks for Dan. This is most likely the first good night's sleep he's had in weeks, and Phil can't bring himself to wake him. Carefully, he lifts Dan's socked feet off his thigh, sliding out from underneath him. Instead of turning on the next movie, he gathers the plates, cups, and paper towel roll in his arms, disappearing into the kitchen. Phil deposits the dishes in the sink, vowing to clean them tomorrow, and returns to the living room. He tiptoes past the younger man and cleans up the pizza and coke bottle, trying his hardest to avoid banging into the corner of the coffee table. Thankfully, he doesn't hit anything until he gets the pizza box into the fridge. He cringes, hoping Dan isn't awake. 

 "Alright, now to wake the baby..." he murmurs to himself, shutting off the light in the kitchen. He returns to the den and presses his lips to Dan's forehead. "Honey? We need to go to bed."      Dan crinkles his nose and groans, curling deeper into his ball of faux fur, "Nooooo... I wanna sleep here. 's cozy!" He hides his head under the blanket, attempting to fall back asleep. 

 "I know, Bear, but you'll be really sore if you don't go to bed. I love you, but I also know that you will complain all day about it." 

 "Gee, thanks, babe," Dan smirks, finally looking at his boyfriend. 

 "You know I'm right. Now, c'mon. You'll feel better." Phil reaches under the blanket, pulling Dan's hand until he finally obliges and stands up.

 Phil can't help but kiss his boyfriend's cheek. Somehow, even after thirteen years, he's the most handsome man he's ever met. Dan smirks sleepily, resting his head against Phil's shoulder as they stumble into the bedroom.

 He tries to sleep. Really, he does. Instead, though, his brain replays the posts, tweets, and messages haunting him for the last three weeks. They've gotten worse since Dan left for tour, it's like the posters have gotten bored and tried to stir up trouble. He presses his face to the pillow sighing deeply. Dan stirs in his sleep groaning softly. 

 "Whatever you're overthinking over there isn't worth it. It'll still be there in the morning. Go to sleep." The brunette murmurs, nuzzling into his side. They really do know each other inside and out. He nods and closes his eyes, pretending to sleep. 

 "G'morning," Dan mumbles, pressing into his side, making his hardon known. It's almost a ritual for them. If the weekday ends in y, Dan or Phil will push the other for morning sex. It's a given, almost like eating cereal for breakfast. Before he can reciprocate, though, Dan is staring at him. "I love you but you look like a dead man walking. So how about I take care of you this time, sir." Dan sits up, pulling his shirt over his head. 

 "Baby, you don't have to... I'm fine. It's not a big deal." Phil replies, hands finding their place on his waist.

 "Okay. What's actually wrong? You never turn down sex." Dan furrows his brow, brown eyes locking onto Phil's as though he can read his mind if stares hard enough.

 "I just don't feel up to it right now. I'm sorry." Phil gently presses a kiss to Dan's forehead. "I promise it's not you, I just got in my head last night. It's not important."

 "I understand that. It's easy to do. Would you like pancakes or cereal for breakfast?" 

 "Pancakes, of course," Phil replies, thankful for the change in subject. Dan climbs off the bed, ignoring his lack of shirt. "I'll be right there, baby. Don't start without me!"

 "No promises! I might eat them before you get in here!" Dan calls from the hallway, disappearing around the corner. Phil pulls his glasses on his face, making the bed and buying himself time. Just to allow his brain a second of clarity before he's met with the feeling of panic when Tumblr throws another post in his face. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_

 He makes it two weeks before he breaks. The duo had gotten back into their usual routine, reveling in the break in the chaos. Their livestreams were returning to normal and the whole debacle was behind him. Or so he thought. 

 Tonight's livestream was a joint event. Both men deciding it would be the perfect Christmas present for their fans. They answered questions and it all went smoothly until he sees it. He feels Dan go tense against his arm and Phil knows he saw it too. 

 A single message.

 Nine words.

 "Shout out the "Phil Lester Is A Sub Groupchat"!"

 "I think we should get indian food tonight, don't you agree? I want that vegetarian bowl I get every time. It just sounds amazing!!" Dan tries, covering the awkward silence.

  He takes that moment, disguising it as listening to the older's response, to take stock of the situation. There's a sense of panic in Phil's eyes. One so small only Dan knows what it looks like. He sees something else mixed in too, something he can't quite place. It's as though exhaustion and anger mixed together and created this new thing. He subtly gives Phil a nudge, three bumps on his right hip: 'check your face.' They'd implemented it after Dan rolled his eyes at something in the chat back in 2013. They decided it was best to avoid any issues. Phil blinks a few times, smiling quickly. 

 "That actually does sound amazing. I really am craving it too..." Phil replies quickly, changing the subject to what games they've been playing recently.

Twenty or so minutes later, Phil interjects, "Dang it Dan, I can't stop thinking about indian food now. But I swear we always abandon these guys for food."

 "I'm starving, guys. Soz." Dan laughs, "We can continue this video game discussion on Thursday on my livestream! For now though, bye guys!"

 "Bye!!" Phil clicks the button to end the stream and his shoulders drop. 

 "What was that about? You looked upset that someone called you a sub earlier."

 "I am, okay? It's been haunting me for almost a month now. I'm weirded out by the fact that people get the vibe off you that you're a dom or the sub vibe off of me. What does it matter to them?! What we do in our bedroom when the lights are off is between us."

 "Or inside us." Dan jests, attempting to break the tension. It works, causing Phil to burst into laughter.

 "Jesus Christ, Dannnnn." Phil scolds still smiling. "But no, it's been messing with my head all month. That's why I pushed you off the other day. I was inside my head about the idea that the fans think that you're in charge and when you offered to take the lead it panicked me a little. I was worried they saw something I didn't, and they knew something I hadn't. Like a joke I wasn't a part of." He sighs, scrubbing his palms over his eyes. "I just don't like not knowing."

 "Are you not happy being a dom? Do you not want to anymore?" Dan asks, eyes locked on the rip in the denim on his thigh. There's panic in his voice, and it breaks Phil's heart

 Phil sighs, raising Dan's chin, "Trust me, sweetheart, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I fucking love being your dom." 

 Dan's cheeks tint pink, shivering slightly, "If it makes you feel any better, I have been haunted by "#Danisadom" the entire tour. For some reason, our fans are very observant about everything else, but this is one area that they're completely oblivious to. This is #Philtops2k15 all over again. At least then they had it right..." Dan laughs lightly, hoping Phil will join in. 

 "I remember that! And you're right, we made it through that just like we will this. Because you're my baby, Bear. Nothing is going to change that." Phil kisses Dan gently. 

 "And you're my sir. But I need you to tell me when you start getting in your head again. Please tell me, Phil. I don't want you hurt." Dan replies, voice low. He presses kisses to Phil's jaw. Before they can get too heated, he pulls away, "We have a meeting in thirty minutes."

 "Wha? Dan!" Phil drops his arms to his sides, following the boy with his eyes as he disappears down the hall.

 "Don't tell me you forgot! You set the appointment!" Before he can inquire further, his phone dings with a notification on their shared calendar: 'collar appointment'. Dan's voice calls from down the hall, a smirk evident in the tone, "the cab will be here in fifteen. Better hurry if you want to change." The black-haired boy sighs, willing his semi to soften.

 "Fucking hell." He murmurs, rising from the couch to collect his jacket and wallet. "Dan, we have to make sure no one sees us." 

 "They won't, Phil. We made sure to get an appointment super fucking late. I promise no one will see us."

 "I know, but I don't want this to get out. I'm not ashamed of being your dom but I don't want the rest of the world to be yours as well. Yknow? I just fear that if they somehow figure out how to manipulate you, then it will become an issue, or the parents will insist we are shoving it down their precious darlings' throats..."

 "Phil," Dan touches his hands to the older's shoulders, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "It will be okay, I promise! If it makes you feel better, we can frame it differently." he leads them towards the door, out to where the cab is waiting, "Yknow? If we get caught, we can say we were collaring you." He whispers the last part against the shell of Phil's ear, breath ghosting across his cheek. 

 "No!!!" Phil whisper-shouts, "I hate you so much!" The two laugh it off, nervousness forgotten. 

Almost...

 The feeling of unease resurges when they arrive at the shop. "Dan, it's just here." He mumbles, motioning at the doorway. The other man turns back, having walked past it completely.

 Neither of the guys knew this place existed, but they'd passed it millions of times. It's a small shop on the west end with blackened windows and a subtle navy tint to the stucco. It blends in where you wouldn't notice it if you didn't look for it. 

 He pulls open the door, and the words "OWNED" catch the streetlight, dark lettering glinting. 

 Phil takes a deep breath, leading Dan inside. 

 When they enter, Phil isn't sure what he was scared of. From inside, you can barely see the streets, and the knowledge that no one else can see inside calms his soul. 

 Dan's in his element immediately. From the first second, he's holding Phil's hand, pointing at different materials, gemstones, and buckles. "Look at this one!"

 "Welcome in, you must be Mr. Lester and Mr. Howell! Pleased to meet you! My name is Gerald Rogers, I will be doing your sizing and fitting today." Both men shake Gerald's hand, their nervousness subsiding. "You guys seem nervous, is this your first collar?"

 "It is." Phil begins, wrapping his arm around Dan's hips, "We've talked about it a lot, but I decided it was the perfect Christmas present."

 "Well, we will be sure to find one that suits your dynamic perfectly. To start, let's have a seat back here so I can get a feel for your dynamic." The two men nod, following Gerald to the heavy black desk. 

 "Alright, let's start simple and work to the heavier details." The guys nod, and Dan takes Phil's hand. A silent testament that he's there and they're safe. "What are we thinking for the budget?" Phil replies with their budget and how flexible it is. Gerald begins typing on his laptop, nodding. "Who's going to be collared today?" Dan raises his hand, blush tinting his cheek. 

 "He is."

 "Perfect. And can you guys describe your dynamic?"

 "How do you mean?" Phil asks. 

 "I mean, what titles do you use, how hard is your play, do you tend to get rougher than most?" Gerald raises his eyebrows, hands poised over the keyboard.

 "Well, the titles we use most for Dan here are 'baby, honey, sweetheart....' The soft stuff. And then for me--"

 "I use "Sir" more than anything. We do joke around with 'daddy' but I don't really want that included this time." Gerald nods, updating his notes. He smiles encouragingly, waiting for the boys to continue.

 "Are you wanting to have an all-the-time collar or just a play collar?"

 "We are definitely looking for just a play collar. Our fans wouldn't take kindly to Dan suddenly wearing a heavy collar." Phil laughs lightly. 

 "Fans?" Gerald asks, casually.

 "We're YouTubers. I presume you won't release to our fans what we're up to? Our relationship is kind of a personal secret they aren't aware of."

 "I promise, discretion is one of the main things I promise with my services."

 "Perfect," Dan states, hand squeezing Phil's.

 "And are you two rough with your play? I don't mean physically, I mean are you guys planning on attaching leashes, pulling on the collar, or leading by it?"

 "We were planning to try implementing it, does the collar hold up to that?"

 "Oh, easily. We can do a double-layered flat leather collar with reinforced D rings."

 "Perfect." Phil smiles.

 "Great, let's get you measured Dan!" He nods, nervousness in his eyes. 

 "It's gonna be okay, babe." Phil smiles, reassuringly. "I'm right here." Gerald raises the tape measure, and Dan nods. "Don't flinch, it's okay. I'm right here." 

 "Alright, I've got the measurements." Gerald smiles, writing the numbers on his computer, "I'm guessing you are someone who hates people touching their neck?" Dan nods, never breaking eye contact with his boyfriend, "You did great."

 "You really did, Dan." Phil praises, reveling in the way he minutely preens. 

 "Alright. what materials and colors were you thinking of doing this time?"

 "We had been discussing doing a double-layered vegan leather collar in black and white." 

 "Are you thinking 12 millimeters or more?"

 "Ah, definitely 12 millimeters... I think that's right. The site we were looking at said half an inch was ideal for a first hard-play collar." Dan looks at the measurement sheet in front of him, reading the numbers off internally. "I don't want anything too strong around my neck." 

 "Then that would probably be right around perfect... Let me get something drawn up for you. Wait here." Gerald walks into the back room, leaving the boys to their own devices.

 "I'm really happy we're finally doing this." Phil murmurs. 

 "I am too. I like my collar, but one from the pet shop doesn't work well for us. It'll be nice to have one made special and not for a dog."

 "Agreed. Did you want to go for a locking collar, baby?" 

 "I would be honored." Dan blushes, "But we can't lose the key or forget it's on."

 "Oh, I don't think that will be a problem for you two." Gerald interrupts, presenting his sketch. 

 The piece on the iPad in front of them is perfect. It looks like someone took the essence of Dan and created it. The thick black leather is sewn with white thread and the thin leather on top is sewn with black. There are three sets of eight rivets surrounding three D rings, and Dan can almost feel the black chains ghosting across his collarbones and back. "It's perfect..." He whispers, awestruck. 

 "I'm glad you think so! Is there anything you'd like to add or modify?"

 "Can we possibly add in a few gemstones? Like maybe black gems here and here?" Phil points between the D rings, smiling awkwardly. 

 "Like... this?" Gerald adds the gems, turning it back. "And were you two considering a locking or belt-style clasp?"

 "Locking. Can we get two sets of keys though?"

 "Absolutely, that is a default for these collections, just in case one set gets separated. I will make a note on your order though just to be sure." He types it in, "I will have your piece ready in about two weeks." He smiles and clears the approval, having both of the men sign the agreement before reading out their total.

 "That is perfect. Thank you so much." Phil smiles, handing Gerald his card. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_

 Back home, Dan can't keep his hands off of Phil. "What's up? You were trying to hold my hand in the cab, you've been glued to my side since we got home. Is something wrong? Are you having second thoughts about your collar?"

 "No! I mean, no. I'm nervous but I'm not regretting it." Dan blushes, leaning against the counter, watching Phil eat cereal from the box, "If anything, I am excited." I can't wait to have something that symbolizes how much you want me to be yours. It's an honor that you want to collar me, Phil. I mean, what did I do to deserve this?"

 "You existed, Dan. That's all that matters. You were deserving of it from the beginning, no one has noticed before me. I have wanted to collar you since 2010, but I didn't want to scare you off. Some people classify this as more important than a wedding ring. I mean, you are literally allowing me to put a lock around your neck. My love, you are the most worthy of anyone I have ever known or dated. I can't imagine anyone else would rather be mine than you. You're my world! I--" Before Phil can finish rambling Dan is pressing their mouths together. 

 "Fuck I have wanted to do that since we left Owned." He reconnects their lips and the quiet groan from Phil reverberates through him. He replies with the softest squeak, and most people would have missed it, but Phil catches it. 

 "If I had known that getting you fitted would have this effect on you, I'd have done it ages ago!"

 "Oh shut up you spoon." Dan blushes, wriggling away from the older. 

 "Never," Phil replies, smirking. Dan glares playfully, disappearing into the living room.    -_-_-_-_-_-_

 Dan has been dreading this. It's finally Tuesday and he hasn't even said hello before he sees it:

"Hi, Daddy." 

 Dan can't help but freeze in his tracks, slipping before he can school his expression. He glares at the message. He hopes no one sees the look, but the chat's speed says otherwise. He doesn't know why it affects him so much. Neither of them has used that title since 2010. But yet it still haunts him. 

 Because it's not him. 

 "Have you guys tried any new shows this week? Phil and I-- ope!! Phil and I!" He snaps his fingers and laughs, "We've been watching a new anime! I can't remember the name though!" He deflects the chat, ignoring the comments in chat asking about his sex life with Phil.

 "Da-an!" Phil calls from the hallway, walking in with a black cardboard box. 

 "Oh! Phil! I was just getting ready to call you!" 

 "You were?" He walks in, box still in hand, leaning down next to his partner. 

 "I was trying to tell these guys about that new anime we started! What was it called?"

 "Oh, it was an old one I watched when I was younger. Vampire Knight?" The chat explodes in reply, half of them asking about the show and the other asking about the box in his hand. 

 "It's fun. Definitely a teen drama though. which I think makes it funnier. Cuz we're two grown-ass men watching a romance anime made for teenage girls." The two talk a bit more about the show before Phil comes up with an excuse to leave. 

 "Alright, now. Where were we?" Dan asks, "I have the memory of a gnat I swear to gods... Oh! The new album! So..." His phone dings somewhere in the middle of the discussion and he wishes he'd put it on silent. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a text:

Sir-- 9:08: It's here. 9:09: On the counter in the kitchen, I won't unbox it without you.  

 He almost whimpers, excitement settling into his body. "Well, I think I need to head out and finish editing the new video for you guys! Hopefully, I can have it out for you in the next six months!" He laughs, waving to the camera, "Bye guys! Talk to you all next week!"

 He clicks end live, rushing out of the room. "Where is it?" He calls, words running together with excitement.

 "It's right here! I told you I had it! I even showed you the box!" Phil laughs, pushing the box closer to the younger. "I haven't opened it. Do you need a knife?" Dan nods, cutting the box open. 

 Inside the box, wrapped in red tissue paper is a satin pouch. Neither of the boys can do anything but gape at first, shocked that it's actually real and in their hands. Finally, Phil comes to his senses and lifts the satin out of the box, untying the ribbon. 

 "I-- it's real," Dan whispers when the leather piece has been revealed. The chains softly tink together, and the loop for the lock at the back waits expectantly. His hands shake gently as Phil raises the leather, eyes meeting Dan's.

 "It-- It's--"

 "Perfect." Dan finishes his thought, breath coming in short gasps. He touches his fingers to the D-rings, blinking slowly. 

 Phil can't help but smile at the awestruck look on Dan's face, "Wanna put it on now? I mean, we are done for the night. Might as well test and make sure it fits." The boy nods, nervously. 

 "Alright. How should we go about doing this? Should I get on my knees or..."

 "Just like we always do, bear. This is just another one of our collars. Hold still and I'll help you put it on." He turns around, back to Phil's chest, and digs in the box for the padlock. Dan grabs it, holding it in his hand, waiting for the feeling of the vegan leather on his throat. He hands the lock to Phil when he finally gets it into place, hearing the click when it's finally done. 

 "How does it look?" Dan asks, turning back to face Phil. The older doesn't reply, eyes wide and pupils blown. 

 "Holy fuck..." He whispers, causing Dan to blink rapidly.

 "That bad?" Dan asks, hands reaching for the band. He grows self-conscious, confusion evident in his expression. 

 "N-no... No. Quite the opposite, actually. You look amazing, Dan." Phil blushes slightly, "Could you imagine wearing this in a video? They'd die."

 "Because the one they thought was the dom is in a collar?"

 "No. Because this may actually be one of the top ten sexiest things I have ever seen you in." Dan looks down at his loose t-shirt and joggers, raising an eyebrow.

 "This? Phil, I wear this every day. They're literally my pajamas."

 "No, I mean this." Phil laces his fingers under the collar, gently pulling Dan against him. "This is the sexiest thing you've ever worn. Probably up there with that one time, you dressed as me for Dailybooth."

 "That was one of the first times you said you wanted to collar me." He blushes at the memory, remembering just how hoarse he was the next day. 

 "I know. And now look at you... All locked up and nowhere to go..." Phil's voice lowers, sending a shiver up Dan's spine. He presses their lips together, never letting go of the younger's collar. "What do you want to do, Daniel? Shall we break in this new toy?" Dan nods, mutely. "Alright. I want you on my bed ready in two minutes."

 "Yes, sir. The same stuff as always?" Phil nods, turning back to the box. He digs through the paper, finding the second set of keys. He takes stock of the situation, wondering if this is a new chapter in their BDSM journey. Sure, they've had collars before, but nothing like this.

 He thinks back to the time when Dan had asked for a stronger pair of cuffs. He remembers how he wondered then if this would be a new normal for them. 

 Before he can answer his question, Dan calls from the other room, "You comin' or what?" 

 Phil laughs breathily to himself, walking quickly down the hallway. "I'm comin', baby, don't get impatient on me or I'll make you wait."

 "Yes, sir." Dan murmurs. 

 Phil opens the door, breathlessly. Before him is his boyfriend of 13 years waiting expectantly, eyes trained forward and collar around his neck. He's taken off every thread of clothing, and the blush on his skin catches the streetlight out the window perfectly. 

 "Fuck you're going to kill me, Bear," Phil whispers unbuttoning his corgi shirt as he closes the door. 

 Phil approaches him, connecting their lips. Dan whines, hoping and praying Phil would let him do something, anything to get the friction he craves. Instead of indulging, Phil takes his hand, leads him to the bed, and pushes him back onto the colorful bedsheets. "What do you want?"

 "I want you!" He gasps in reply, brown eyes blown wide in desperation. "Please, I just want your cock." 

 "Aww, desperate already?" Phil growls dominantly, "Pathetic, aren't you." 

 Dan watches as Phil unzips his black jeans, waiting for the man to reveal what Dan's been waiting for, "C'moooooooon" 

 Phil glares, abandoning the buttons and instead sliding his fingers underneath the edge of the collar, pulling it up. "I know you're desperate, but you need to remember who's in charge here. I know our fans think it's you, but you and I both know the truth. We're going to try this again, who's in charge, Daniel?"

 Dan nods, "Y-you are, sir." 

 Phil preens at his reply, pushing his jeans off his legs. He grants himself a couple strokes before pulling Dan in closer. "Good boy. What do you want, bear?" Dan blinks, silently communicating with his boyfriend. Phil nods, tangling his fingers in Dan's curls.

 Dan blushes, licking Phil's tip. "Can you... Y'know..." He looks up at Phil, expectantly. 

 "Aww, want me to fuck your face?" Dan nods, parting his lips. Phil pushes his length into Dan's mouth, pausing briefly at the base, the feeling of his tongue too much to handle. "Fuck," He groans and resists the urge to jerk his hips. 

 Dan blushes, talking as best he can around the intrusion. Phil smirks and tangles his fingers in Dan's hair, pulling his head back to meet the base of his cock. 

 "That's a good boy, c'mon, take it all." Dan whimpers, suckling at the older's cock. "You're doing so good baby, I'm gonna cum though if we aren't careful..."

 Dan pulls back, wiping his mouth, "W-want you to fuck me... Please?" Dan whispers gaze downcast towards his knees. 

  Phil smirks in victory. His usually articulate boyfriend has been brought to his knees, begging for any attention the older will grant. Phil growls, lifting Dan's chin to meet his gaze. His lips are parted, breaths escaping in short pants. "I would love to do that, sweetheart," Phil replies hotly, "Let's get into it then." He scoots back on the bed, "Did you stretch earlier like I told you too?" 

 Dan nods, handing the older a well-used bottle of lube, "Mhm, but you might need to check."

 "If I didn't know better, I'd think you wanted me to finger you," Phil smirks, spreading lube over two fingers and pressing them to Dan's entrance. When they go in easily, he presses into Dan's prostate. 

 "I know noth-- Oh fuuuuck," Dan moans, pushing his hips backwards. Phil smirks, adding a third finger.

 "You know nothing? You're right. You're just a pretty slut. Made perfect for my dick." Phil pulls his fingers out, wiping the excess on his leg. He spreads more lube on his cock, pressing into the younger. "Beg for it."

 "Please?" Dan begs, head dropping. "I've been waiting for this all day, sir. Please..." 

 Phil pushes the tip in, and pauses. "I didn't tell you to stop." 

 Dan attempts to push his hips back, mewling. "Please, sir... Please please please..." He curls his nails into the sheets, curls falling across his face. 

 The older shakes his head affectionately, pushing in the rest of the way. "Taking my cock so well, bear. You're such a good little slut for me. Take it all." He tangles his fingers into the back of the collar, using it to gain leverage. "Fuck..." Phil moans, speeding up his thrusts. 

 Dan tangles his hands into the sheets, groaning loudly. "Please, Please, please... I'm so close please..."

 "Good." Phil's thrusts grow rougher, as he bites Dan's shoulder. "Don't cum until I tell you to." 

 The sound of their bodies colliding causes Dan to tremble. "Please... Please.... Sir... Lemme cum please!" 

 "Fuck, Dan... I'm so close... Ready?" he nods, desperately, "Okay... Cum for me. Right now, baby, I'm right behind you." Phil groans roughly, feeling Dan squeeze around him, pushing him over the edge. He reaches around, giving Dan's leaking cock a few strokes, helping him through his orgasm. "Good boy... You did so good." He whispers, letting go of the collar and pulling out of the younger. 

 "I love you so much, Dan." Phil whispers, pressing a kiss to Dan's nose. "You did so good."    "I love you too. Thank you." he replies, dazed.

 "For what?"

 "Loving me, and for collaring me." 

 "Of course. Just proof your mine forever baby bear." 

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!! Likes and reblogs are much appreciated!!

[cullen-cannons]

Twilight Hunger Games AU

Chapter One: The Reaping

Part Five: Isabella

My hand still tingles where Edward held it, almost as if his hand is still there, holding mine, reassuring me of what I'm about to do. (I want to laugh and cry because that's probably the most physical contact we've ever had with each other.)

The room in the justice building looks like a forest diorama, it makes me feel like I'm an exhibit in a museum, trapped. Then the door opens, but I know I'm only about to feel more trapped, by emotions if not faux vines, I can see it in my mother's eyes, and my father's.

Charlie is holding her, but it's awkward, the truth is that they haven't really been together since I was young. Sure we all live together but only because without Charlie's salary from the lumber mill we would starve, and Charlie, like the traditional man he is, refuses to allow that even as my mother has drifted further and further away from us, from him. 

He still loves her, and I know he misses her . . . and now he's going to lose me too.

Guilt fills me and I stiffen my posture, steeling myself against the feeling.

Today my mother seems much more alert than usual, but I know she'll retreat back into herself again as soon as this sinks in, which is why I must act quickly.

"Mom, Dad," I say, keeping the emotion out of my tone. They will not see me suffer.

Charlie knows as well as I do what the outcome of these games will be for me and matches my tone. "Bella."

"Oh, oh, baby, oh. I'm so sorry" Renee begins to sob again and Charlie rubs her shoulders.

"It's not your fault, Mom, trust me. Okay?"

"Okay." I barely hear her.

"Look at me mom, I need you to listen okay?"

"Okay."

Charlie says nothing but I can see he's laser-focused on what I'm about to say. I can't stand the sad look in his eyes so I focus on Renee, speaking to her even though the words are meant for him.

"Dad will take care of you, without me at home there will be more money for both of you. All of my things are in good condition, Mrs. Weber can help you sell them for a good price at the market, you can give her my old toys for her twins. I left all my recipes in the book on the top shelf, they're really easy to make. I've labelled all the vegetables in the garden, and the ones we don't have you can get from Mrs. Newton at the market, she'll give you a good price, and you can get milk and cheese from Mrs. Yorkie, and herbs from Mrs. Crowley." 

I see Charlie's beginning to cry as well, but I continue on because I must, I knew something would happen to me eventually, It's just the kind of luck I have, so I've had everything prepared for my absence for a while now, "The Blacks and Clearwaters will be there to help, Jacob and his friends hunt and fish, they'll share what they catch in return for vegetables, and wood scraps from the mill. And I have a few quilts that I've finished stitching but haven't sold yet. Sue Clearwater will help you sell those via her market stall, then you can give her the rest of my fabric for her dresses. I've written all of this down. You're going to be okay, you're both going to be okay."

By the time I finish, I'm out of breath. I see Charlie closing his eyes, committing my words to memory even though he saw me writing the instructions months ago.

Renee looks completely out of it, "Mom, you have to let Charlie care for you, alright, you have to remember to eat and bathe and clean, Sue will help you but you can't just let yourself waste away, you can't. Think of Charlie." I hesitate, but a look on Charlie's face allows me to continue, bringing to the surface of my mind a memory, not my own, but Charlie's. "Remember how happy you used to be when you painted the kitchen yellow, and made dresses, when you taught me how to sew and knit, when you met Dad? You have to remember that feeling again, you promise."

Renee says nothing.

"You have to promise, at least to try."

She nods.

"I want to hear it, Mom."

She looks down, "I promise." and I can tell that's as good as I'm going to get from her.

The door opens again. An old man enters in a wheelchair, crippled from an accident at the mill years ago. His son follows. The Blacks.

Jacob's face is grim, much too grim for someone only 15 years old, mouth pressed into a line, trying not to cry, he hugs me whispering "They're going to be in good hands." Then it's much softer, so I almost don't quite catch it, "I'm gonna miss you, loca."

He steps aside, allowing his father to roll up to me, all he says is, "Fight hard Bella."

The next person to enter the room is a peacekeeper, he shoves Billy's wheelchair aside, and I hit Jacob on the back with my cane, before his temper gets him in trouble. The peacekeeper leads us out to the main hall, still green but a stark contrast to the brightness inside the visiting rooms. 

Jasper Whitlock leans against the wall, next to the door of the other visiting room. His eyes are closed but he looks like he's in pain, the same kind of constant dull ache that accompanies me every day. I don't know him very well but I try to smile anyway, I don't know if I succeed, not that he can see me anyway.

His eyes open as another peacekeeper enters the hall, and to my shock, he glares. Not the private glares, directed at the windows when with family in the safety of closed doors after the peacekeepers have given out a particularly petty punishment. No, his disdain is obvious, accompanied by a set jaw, he inches closer to the door, blocking it. I want to tell him to stop before he gets hurt but I can only watch. 

The peacekeeper approaches the door. Jasper doesn't move. 

"Move." the peacekeeper instructs.

"Do you need something?" he asks innocently, voice like honey and suddenly looking younger than me even though I know he's nearing twenty, a good three years my senior.

"If you do not move you will be charged with interruption and obstruction of official government justice proceedings." the peacekeeper puts a threatening hand on his arm.

His expression turns cold again, it sends a tremble down my spine (maybe that's just my shaky nerves). I haven't had much need to interact with Jasper Whitlock, but I've seen him around. He was homeschooled, so I used to see him at the library. (I never once saw his parents). I've had a suspicion for a while now. He's one of those people like fire: a source of endless warmth for the one they love, but burning so hotly that only those closest to them, in the centre like the eye of a storm, are safe from the burns.

He's secretive, an introvert, and he came from nowhere any of us knew. I remember the whispers when the two married. He's more than a foot taller than her and it was even more back then. 

People thought that he was going to break her, they were waiting for it. Holding their breath. I'll admit that at first, I did too. But they were wrong. The two of them are so in sync as if their particles have fused and bonded them together. Everyone was wrong. If anyone's will is being bent, it's his. He follows her around like a loyal dog, doing whatever she asks.

"Justice." He spits the word humorlessly, shakes his head, smacks the peacekeeper's hand away, and steps away from the door. I let out a breath, both of relief he wasn't hurt in surprise that it took me so long to see the defiance.

The peacekeeper yanks open the door and starts to pull Edward out, Dr. Cullen pulls his son close, giving the peacekeeper a look of disappointment, as if to say "How dare you treat a child that way." and the peacekeeper relents. His baton is still hanging ominously at his side.

Jasper's expression is neutral again, all signs of rebellion gone as he takes Alice's arm. I wondered why at first, why someone like him would so willingly relinquish independence. But now I know. I see now, in the face of imminent death, that he's scared of losing himself to the anger and Alice may be the only thing holding him back from doing what every district citizen dreams of.

The peacekeeper leans into Dr. Cullen's face. "Time's up. Train's due in five, let's go." His voice is thunderous and much too loud for the proximity, my body is too numb to react but I feel my mother shake behind me.

When I turn again, Edward is watching me, I'm not sure what to do, neither of us feels much like smiling. He looks at me a moment longer, it's strangely comforting, and then we both look away.

[wherewisteriaends]

Watching GoT for the first time

I saw someone do this with Grey's Anatomy but I can't find it again so if someone knows, give them credit for the idea. Anyway I am finally watching Games of Thrones for the first time with only a vague idea of the plot so here comes my stream of consciousness while doing so.

Obviously some spoilers ahead. Let's start off with season :

-The first hand saw Cersei and Jaime , I can bet on that.

-Ned, you're right winter is coming and you're wrong the night watch didn't deserve to die. -Bran, my dear.

-Is killing Joffrey do-able ? 'cause he kinda is a jerck and gets on my nerves

-I don't think Jon Snow is really smart. Tyrion was right about telling him what kind of privileges is was granted.

-I'm going to be a Joffrey slander. Lady did not deserve that ! Neither Sansa and Arya and the ginger boy.

-Gosh there are too many names !

-The faith or religious dogme is not made clear. I haven't read the books and I don't exactly understand what is there place/customs/beliefs. But it's fine 'cause they don't seem to have any big importance or whatsoever.

-Joffrey and Viserys slander.

- I don't know how but I always end up shipping ships that are rare on the Internet. Baelish x Catelyn in my heart

-Baelish is not reliable. He's even cocky about that.

-What the hell of a shitty king is that ? Robert, you suck.

-Robbert doesn't look like an exciting character to me. I don't know, I think he is lacking energy and complexity. He just looks like the good firstborn, the dutiful heir. However Arya ... I will be rooting for her. And no Ned, clearly she won't be a lady wife.

-I like the storytelling of the Targaryen story. It's very well introduced.

-I don't get why Sansa wants Joffrey to like her. Joffrey was the shitty man here, not your father.

-Ned, you're lacking good senses into the viper nest.

-They're blaming Tyrion and it's clearly not Tyrion and poor Tyrion (who looked very frightened) ; but oh Catelyn that was a power move. (not a very smart one tho)

-Catelyn my girl you're so smart. But also no, you're not.

-"Why ? Am I starting to make sense ?" such a powerful line.

-Rodrick is going to die. Who are we to pretend.

-I fear Bran words about the Tully devise are foreshadowing something.

-Ned, take the warning and listen to it.

-Varys is for the Targaryen !

-oh boy I came 'cause I hear about it but now I am staying for the politic plot. I love a bit of manipulation and hunger for power. -Ned I think you should leave to wait an hour to speak to someone. -Lysa is mad. She is completely mad. The son too. -Okay, Robber, you're not such a fool after all. But you have anger issues. -Cersei seems like a broken woman. Jaime is shit. -The hair Ned ! The hair ! -The whores watching is a funny thing to me. -Okay Robbert slander now ! You don't hit your wife. -And Cersei lying is getting you nowhere. They were witnesses. -The scene where Daenerys eats an heart lacked introduction. Vyseris you little filth, if you touch her because of her son, I swear I am finding way to bring you into reality and then murder you.

-This scene of the heart holds such a power. - They never gave it to you whiny boy 'cause you don't deserve it. You don't deserve anything truly. -Lysa and her boy are shitty. And Catelyn why the hell are you standing unmoved ? -Robbert is king but it is a Lannister rule. -He had it coming. Viserys only had himself to blame. -Yup, Dany, you're the dragon. -Tirwyn piecing a stag is a good metaphor. -He is a complete fool to tell her. Telling her does not preserve his honour. - Baelish teaching about sex and prostitution is - well very smutty obvi but also very true ; I love that guy. - Ned is so dead. Baelish is going for his head. - Ser Lorah the traitor ! Who got a change of heart. -Ned you should to him and go to war. - I love Baelish's logic. Nothing moral in it. But that is amazing scheming.

-And then Dany got what she wanted. - I knew Ned would die, I didn't think it would come so fast. Well he is not dead yet but that is clearly the way the season ends.

-I truly don't want to guess what happened to Sansa. -Varys calling him out on his madness is so right. He should have kept his mouth shut. Don't play the hero, you don't want to be the hero. -Sansa truly just wants to do good. -Bowing instead of fighting isn't the right answer. -I thought there were 5 Starks ... where is the last one ? -The 6 year old boy is right. - You're a bit delusional Catelyn. Ned is already dead. -Robb is foolish and idealized his father. Plus if this Umel does not betray you, it will be a miracle. - I also get the feeling Baristan will betray. - Okay I now stan Baristan. -Baelish and the side-eye >>> -Ned is not seeing the greater good for the realm but he is also right about the Lannister. - Poor little girl. Lord Frey is disgusting. - I did not made the link so I am surprised he is Jorah's father. And yes I can't remember his name. - Apart from the ones who are already mothers, women are truly just object. TwT. That's why I love Arya. That just disappeared by the way. -"Love is the death of duty" is a powerful sentence. But Ned is probably not the right exemple for this one. -Aemon was such a plot twist. -I feel very sorry for Tyrion. And technically he was raped by his first wife. -Joffrey was a bastard for this ! At least Cersei was right about it being madness. -The choice of silence for Ned's execution was a very good cinematic choice. - The knight I don't know the name did right by Arya. - JOFFREY SLANDER ! KILL THAT BOY HE DESERVES HELL - Gosh this Northern man has an ego - I honestly forgot they had Jaime. I love how Jaime knows he has sinned. -Cersei also sleeps with her nephew ??? -I don't know how Joffrey calls himself a legitimate king when the Baratheon are at war against him too - I love how neither Tywin and Tyrion are no fools. But the rest of the Lannisters all have too much ego for it. -Dany was truly desperate. -The old guy from the council is completely out of it. - I love Varys and Baelish relationship. -Arya and Robert's bastard is a good mix. -Dany was bold (and kinda mad) for this. -What an end for a season !

I will obviously be coming back for more. Good night/day everyone

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you so much for tagging me @orange-peony, these things are always so fun to do!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 40 works right now.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

624,677, which is more than I thought I had (probably due to the fact 1/6th of them were posted during the past 5 months or so)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I only really write for Harry Potter, though I do like to play in next-gen, marauder and golden-trio era so there's a little variation there.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Blue Roses and Other Impossible Things Drarry, 40k, E To Be Out of Your Own (and consumed by another)  Drarry, 18k, E Though My Mind Could Think (I still was a mad man) Drarry, 87k, E Things Unknown but Longed for Still Drarry, 30k, E Use My Last Breath (to say I love you), Harry/Charlie, 6k, E

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do. I love talking about fics in general, but especially the ones I write. I love reading theories or thoughts people had while reading, and responding to those. And also, comments make me so happy and I want to show that to the person who commented because I know it can take a lot of energy and mental work to comment at all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I actually think I have to list more than one, because I have three that all end kind of terribly.

A Long Line of Fine Rarry 2k There is a First Time for Dying Scorbus, 1.5K Give Me a Memory Drarry, 2.5k

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably all the rest of them.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah, sometimes.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, I think like 35 of the 40 fics are rated E for smut. I like to write all kinds tbh. Like, super angsty, kinky, romantic, longing etc. I think it's the feelings and emotions that makes it fun for me, but they don't really have to be all positive.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I tried once years and years ago to write a supernatural and Hunger Games crossover, but I never finished it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I had one reposted on Instagram once, but nothing else that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, a couple.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I don't think I'd be any good at it tbh, I can never stick to an outline.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I think maybe Drarry, but that might be because there are SO many great fics written for it. But I also adore rarry and prongsfoot, and I think I love them just as much – I just read them less because there are fewer fics.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There are a lot tbh, but the one I'm always angry about not being able to finish is a fic I started a loong about Muggles finding out about magic and inventing technology to supress it, and Draco and Harry working to get Teddy out of England.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think (or at least hope) it's putting words to feelings and emotions. I tend to struggle to name or describe my own feelings so I usually explore that a fair bit in fics.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm pretty sure I'm ace so I struggle a lot with writing my characters as feeling physical attraction. I think I can do the emotions and physical bits, but yeah, the whole attraction thing is difficult. And also describing actions. I'll have a character stand up to do something and then completely forget I did it, so they'll be sitting down in the next line. Or they'll just be talking with zero description of what they're doing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm not sure I have any. I never have myself, but I'm not really opposed as much as I've never had a need.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. I think it was a hinny fic sometime between the fifth and sixth book came out. At the time I had no idea what fanfiction or shipping was at all, and it never left the notebook I wrote it in.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I think my favourites changes every time I try to pick one, but right now it's these:

Like a Dream I Can Reach (but not quite hold) queerplatonic darry, 19.5k

Though My Mind Could Think (I still was a mad man) Drarry, 87k

Four Gallons of Oblivious Rarry, 18k

I'll tag @stargazing-enby, @drarryruinedme7, @acnelli @maesterchill @pineau-noir and @shealwaysreads if you want to do it (and haven't already). And anyone else who'd like to do this!

[livvyofthelake]

ok dune 2 post. obviously spoilers you know i don't give a shit. there is nothing i can say to you now that could possibly "ruin" your movie going experience should you decide to see dune 2. or maybe there is. i don't care though either you're reading my monster ass post or you're not. but i'm very nice and beautiful and kind so i added a read more <3 just keeping it really niceys <3

FIRST thing i want to say is that men are reacting to these movies in a way that is so diabolically insane to me i don't think i will ever be able to understand the underdeveloped male human brain. that was mean sorry. i hate men though and i think they're less intelligent than normal people. sorry. have you seen what men are saying about dune though. you understand. "it's the greatest triumph of cinema i've ever seen!" like calm down ryan it's dune part two.... we're not talking about the hunger games catching fire rn you can talk about the movie like a normal human being talks about things... yes it was good. it was also only the second best timothee chalamet film released in the past six months... and as i've said. the world at large will forget about dune like two years after the last movie, i'm sorry, but we will... we are not all male sci-fi fanatics peace and love

so what did EYE like about it! well i love zendaya <3 i love zendaya so much, not enough to watch spiderman, but a lot. i lovedd that she had a bigger role in part two (both me and my mom were sooo disappointed at how little she was in part one), and i especially loved how her role provided this point of contest to paul's messiah status, where his mother and stiglar are like, true believers, chani is the skeptic because she knows he's still only a man not a god, because she loves him as a man!!! it was crazy. also they were in crazy beautiful tragic love... (side note we can come back to this later if the need arises. their asses are GOING in the timeless video remake. spent a good ten minutes of the movie's runtime thinking about this fr) i really loved their relationship and their dynamic, idk anything about the books btw i want that out there as a disclaimer now. anyway i loved the drama of their whole thing it was craytown insane. the way he didn't want to go south and solidify his becoming as the people's messiah because he knew that if he became that he would lose her, and ultimately that's exactly what happened... "i will love you as long as i breathe" as his final words to her before enacting this plan to take over from the emperor by marrying the princess... ok that was insane. in many ways this happened to a friend of mine. by the name of. guinevere.... unless you're all here for my gay king arthur theory in which case. in many deeper ways this happened to my friend arthur. but i'm not supposed to talk about that because the people aren't ready. (i do genuinely and truly in my heart of hearts believe that king arthur is gay and i mean it in a way completely divorced from bbc merlin i didn't even want to bring up bbc merlin it makes me so mad how that show corrupted gay king arthur, i don't mean it like that. EYE mean that it's gay as fuck to be a man with an older brother. but we aren't talking about that). basically. kind of a tragedy slay... rooting for them in. deep sigh. movie three.

a thing i DID NOT like was the whole deal with. austin butler. i did not learn his character's name, don't care, he's dead anyway. it's not even that any of it was bad it was just boring. and there was that whole section on him too and i was like ugh this could have been a two minute scene wrap it UP! you may have noticed i was posting while in the theater. yeah i was posting from that section of the movie. because i was BORED. yes there was some vital info in that part, but i also believe it could have been explained in a significantly lesser amount of time!!! me in denis villieneuve's editing room screaming "cut it!!!!" it's boring... i'm sorry... i was bored and i don't care about the harkonnens (? i'm not looking that spelling up) and i don't care that that cult lady "secured his bloodline" by going to his birthday party and seducing him... i don't careeee about the harkonens!!!!

a thing i DID like was rebecca ferguson's deal. she was soooo. i mean she was terrible, of course, insane bitch for real. also i want her so bad but that's not relevant. loved her schemes. love it when a character starts playing god. and she got what she wanted in the end too! was that a good thing? unclear. but god forbid women do anything!

can i say something is this a safe space. i don't care about the worms the way a lot of people seem to care about the fuckin worms... they're cool i guess? but what is with the fascination with the sand worms... i don't get it. i'm gonna leave this point here cuz frankly what more is there to say

there seems to be a disconnect between two camps of people on timmy's actual messiah status in the narrative. i've seen people refer to the character as jesus and i've seen people call him a false prophet, and it all made me so confused i read the entire wikipedia entry for the original dune novel and the article for the larger dune chronicles. and i've come to the conclusion that yes he was literally the ultimate manifestation of powers the bene gesserit were trying to cultivate, and he did become a leader, but i wouldn't be so quick to call him jesus because he's only jesus because the bene gesserit wove their agenda into the religious legends and prophecies of the fremen people to be able to control them through it. so it was kind of all propaganda. but his abilities are very real and he DID want to help the fremen break free from harkonenn persecution. so i wouldn't call him a false prophet. i think the thing with the uh. "water of life" (it's worm piss. it's sand worm piss. it's gatorade blue, straight up fresh from the worm piss. i'm sorry) and he drank it and gave him visions of the future and he was like "i see it all so clearly now" and all that. i think that's real, he can see the futures and he knows he can play an important role and he wants to prevent war (flopped btw) and that's why he leaned into the messiah rhetoric, because it was easy i guess, and the people already believed it. i wouldn't call him evil or corrupt i'd just say he was trying to be realistic through the means he was raised (and remember that his mother raised him for war and power). um it's complicated. do i think there's a jesus metaphor? obviously there is. do i think he's really like. The Messiah? well no, because it's textually true that there was never REALLY a prophesized messiah, it was all just stories put into motion generations before he ever existed. that being said i wouldn't call it fake per se. lot's of interesting stuff is going on here with regards to religion to be honest. does it matter what's real? do we not each control our own perceived reality? does saying it's not real rob the believers of their choice? does it matter that the people were told to believe in him as a way to control them? does it matter that they made the beliefs their own anyway? what is religion? what is god? if i had more time on my hands i'd get deep into dune just to get into arguments online this summer about this shit.

i'd be interested to see how it all unfolds in a third movie, but as i understand that's not a confirmed thing that's happening and frankly i already read the wikipedia article about it so i guess i do already know how it unfolds. but i'll see the eventual movie anyway i guess.

the thing with the "atomics" was wild to me though i was like hey man i do not think a jesus figure would launch atom bombs... but to be fair i think they set those bombs on a mountain? and people were only killed via the rubble? that's obviously still bad i'm aware but i mean. well actually i don't know if that's what happened. the bombs only killed the bad guys though so who gives a shit. sorry. but those bald dudes were creepy i'm sorry they sucked so bad i don't care that a lot of them died in a war that they started. it's a movie. were they atomic bombs though? they called them "atomics" so i did assume they were fucking. oppenheimer atomic bombs. or is this such a distant future that they've advanced technology and undergone so many linguistic changes that words don't mean the same things anymore. i think however that i fully just overthought that. anyway whatever on the bombs i don't wanna talk about bombs

um getting back to my girl chani. "i will love you as long as i breathe" for real she should get to kill him a little bit for all of that shit i am not gonna lie to you. i was reading these wikipedia articles seeing the word "concubine" thinking to myself oh he should die. call me pontius pilate the way i am about to kill this fucking christ figure. i understand it narratively, i get it. i understand that he marries the princess for political reasons but he loves chani i understand that. but i am gonna tell you one thing right now and you need to hear this. cassandra would never pull something like that. and if you wanna talk to ME about an expansive fantasy universe totalling over a dozen books, you are gonna have to go through cassandra there. no one will ever be cassie, not to me, you'll never do the things cassie has done, i don't care who you are i don't care how influential to sci-fi dune is. if you're gonna come to me and be all oh dune was influential for sci-fi, i'm gonna come right back at you and say the shadowhunter chronicles was influential for urban fantasy. there is not a weird middle school girl out there who's life was not affected by cassandra clare. that woman is like a deity to me. i don't care about what men write, SHE is huge to ME. and she would never pull that shit. she would never, and she would rather die. peace and love. i hate men

and you know what let's all back it up for a moment. and when i said. timeless video. oh i meant that, as i said i spent ten minutes just straight up thinking about this comparison. my ultimate conclusion is that paul has the kit herondale swag (but if kit was written by a man. you understand). chani does not so much have ty blackthorn swag but she is kind of a cunt which was good enough for me tbh. the way that like. she was a fremen warrior above everything, even him, was very ty to me though, in the sense that he's a shadowhunter who like, IS a shadowhunter. we have shadowhunters like say, simon, who aren't so much suited to the shadowhunter way of life (because it is an entire way of life, it's not just being a human plus some magic, being a shadowhunter is a whole different class of existence completely unlike ours) but they're a shadowhunter because that's just the hand life dealt them. and then there are shadowhunters who are real, passionate, believing in the cause shadowhunters, and that's gonna be like. isabelle, cordelia, jace, emma. and ty. there are characters who, if they stopped being a shadowhunter they would survive, and there are characters who would not know a way to be without it. (sorry girl gonna interrupt you. this was a dune post? a post about the movie dune part two? um stop rambling about tsc...) ok. basically chani has that drive of caring so much about what she is (fremen) and what she can do. and i love how i gave that a whole paragraph explanation but with paul i just said "yeah he has that kit herondale swag nothin more to say" (sidenote. the audiobook i read the other day has been sticking with me to such an extent that. ok there was one character who i guess was meant to be from new jersey and the narrator was doing this crazy voice for him which was so fun and iconic i have been talking to myself in my head with that voice ever since for real and serious... i get a real kick out of it. and that last sentence pre parentheses was meant to be read in that voice so. imagine an exaggerated sort of goon-like jersey accent)(um just went to the little wiki page for this character to verify the new jersey thing. his dad's from jersey that's not important. under relationships. "they clearly have an abusive relationship" hey now... what fucking. lame fangirl wrote this... they were just homoerotically vibing in a toxic fucked up way... rolling eyes emoji. people didn't understand it...) anyway. um he does have the kit herondale swag. you know. in the simple sense that everybody is telling him he has this Destiny and he really didn't want it. kit would never drink that fuckass worm piss though. actually lie, he might. speaking of the worm piss. not the substance i mean the part of the movie where he almost died from it because it's literally poison and he knew that and drank it anyway. me when i have an exaggerated sense of self worth. me when it's literally poison but i'm different <3 anyway. when chani found him in that coma and jessica was like Only You Can Wake Him because like. some prophecy shit with "tears of the desert spring" and her secret name meant desert spring and she had to cry on him to save him from something she never wanted him to do. and that was effectively the moment that killed their relationship. that was crazy stuff girls...

not much more to say. oh. i must bring up the redacted of it all, of course, i mean naturally. this movie, above all other things i liked about it more than part one, had the added bonus of NOT being "from the ******* edits". watching part one was a constant game of "oh yeah i've seen this one" "classic c****** r***** edit clip!" "oh yeah the hair in his face with a dark expression in his eyes we've all seen it" like it was nice to watch a dune movie that was about dune. you know.

[clerati]

Tag Game: Pick your top two favorite characters from five of your fandoms and explain why. Bonus points if the two characters have some sort of relationship (romantic, platonic, etc).

I was tagged by @talesofruby01. Thanks for the tag!

I did six fandoms, because at first I could only think of three and then I thought of six. Oh well.

Gilmore Girls - Jess Mariano and Paris Geller

Gossip Girl - Serena van der Woodsen and Jenny Humphrey (sorry Blair!)

Yellowjackets - Jackie Taylor and Shauna Sadecki née Shipman

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (TMMM) - Luke Kirby's Lenny Bruce and Astrid Weissman (sorry Imogene!)

The Vampire Diaries - Elena Gilbert and Katerina/Katherine Petrova/Peirce (Nina Dobrev supremacy!)

The Hunger Games (THG) - Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark

Tagging: @dayenurose, @stellaluna33, @strideofpride, @hydesjackiespuddinpop

Explanations on my choices under the cut! You're about to find out way too much about me via the blorbos :)

Gilmore Girls - Jess Mariano and Paris Geller

Criminally robbed of the besties bonus points I deserve...

Jess Mariano is my character of all time. I'll fight you. The highlights: Jess comes from an abusive, loveless family situation and is a bit prickly from the ordeal (both to himself and others), but is just such a goodhearted and hardworking person that he gets out the other side with both loving relationships (with himself and others) and a good, safe life that he’s built for himself. Character of all time!!! Who does it for us like Jess Mariano?

Paris is incredibly ambitious and a little bit of a bitch (in a cool, sexy way), and therefore I love her. Also, your honor she’s a repressed lesbian. These things happen. And I will never get over how quickly she comes to understand Marxist theory when working her first job. She was never a snob; she literally was just never exposed to anything outside the upper-class.

My man Jess would have helped her with that and it would have been amazing. And he would have been comfortable living in that scary apartment with her (and Doyle) and Rory.

Gossip Girl - Serena van der Woodsen and Jenny Humphrey

When I have to shorthand my self, I say "I'm a Serena van der Woodsen type". The only reason I relate more to her than Jess in terms of self is because Serena and I shared the incredible lows of teenage girldom (plus we’re both exceptionally beautiful). Also, Jess never did drugs (cigarettes count, but they don't, also I don't think they were really a habit). Good for him! Don't do drugs! Serena definitely did drugs, and she started them (and boys, who don’t love her but sure do think she’s pretty!) very young. The incredible lows of teenage girldom... and how they stick to you into womanhood... She tries so hard to “change” when really she needs to change her situation, but that’s the struggle... How do you leave everyone and everything you’ve ever loved? And even if you could, is there really anywhere on earth you can escape the incredible lows of girldom/womanhood?

Which brings me to Jenny Humphrey. I’m not even gonna start on the incredible lows of teenage girldom because just watch the show, my poor girl... ANYWAY! Did I mention that I love seeing ambition in girls and women? She’s the living embodiment of going after what you want, *and she’s earned it*. She becomes Queen, not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES, and it was only sort of on purpose once!! And do not get me started on her high school fashion career. It kills me that her family wasn’t more supportive, but I know she’ll be successful because literally no one and nothing could ever stop her. And, I know this one is probably a hot take, but I honestly think she’s a really good person. She fights against the corrupting force of the UES better than most, and she is a really sweet and earnest person when she feels safe enough to just be herself.

Yellowjackets - Jackie Taylor and Shauna Sadecki née Shipman

Bonus points: They're in love! (Yes, present tense.)

Talking about teenage girldom and how it sticks to you into womanhood... I could write essays, but I'll just say this. Jackie is my favorite. She's most of us (I say assuming my experiences are universal). She is the metaphor for what happens when you devote yourself to the role assigned at teenage girlhood (it makes you repressed, i.e. the death of the self).

Shauna is a metaphor for all the fight it takes to survive teenage girldom into womanhood, and how it's a never-ending fight (she's the friend/lover, she's the mother/daughter, she's the hater/butcher/killer).

Teenage girldom is traumatic experience and it colors your adulthood, and that's the show, but also these two characters are the clearest metaphors on that main theme. Everything is a metaphor!!! Also, they're both sides of the repressed sapphic romantic-friendship. Hard relate, my girls!

TMMM - Luke Kirby's Lenny Bruce and Astrid Weissman

Some of you may be asking, Why not Midge? Why not Susie? Well, this is my list and I do what I want.

Luke Kirby's Lenny Bruce needs no explanation. He is the dream man. He's earnest and exceptionally romantic, and there's something about him you can't help find admirable to the point of inspirational. Maybe it's that he's brave and honest. Maybe it's that he's ambitious in that way that's hard to be as a woman. Maybe he's just really charming, because he's that for sure. But, of course, he's a mess too. Who isn't?

Astrid Weissman! She's so so so funny. She's not trying to be funny. She's not making jokes. She's just delightful! Also, all of us out there swimming in cultures that are not those in-which we were raised. Astrid Weissman has got you with her over-correcting, overcompensating, and just sheer enthusiasm. You go, Astrid!

The Vampire Diaries - Elena Gilbert and Katerina/Katherine Petrova/Peirce

Bonus points: They're related/doppelgangers!

UGH! If they aren’t the dichotomy of self, idk what is!!!

Elena is *such* a good person. She is literally the martyr she is such a good person. She loves and she will die for that love. That’s Elena. But it’s all about circumstances. Elena is an orphan (she had a beautiful, loving family before they died) suffering from survivor’s guilt, and she’s mostly keeping herself together with her love for her loved ones. If she isn’t living for them, she’s just gonna disappear.

Now, Katerina/Katherine, she’s got kind of the opposite thing going on. She had her newborn baby she loved very much ripped from her arms before being disowned by her family and banished from her hometown. She has no one who loves her and no one to love. She holds herself together with love of self or she’s just gonna disappear. And that she does. She is a ruthless pragmatist, because she has to be to survive. Because the world is harsh and cruel (and frankly really sexist), but she’s clever and strong, and she survives. That’s what she does. Elena dies for you. Katerina/Katherine survives despite you. Everything is a metaphor!!! My favorite thing about Katerina/Katherine is that she doesn’t *just* survive. No, she *loves* life. She’ll literally be being held captive by a vampire who has been hunting her relentlessly for hundreds of years, and she’ll take a moment alone in the house to drink and dance, because what’s a spare moment if it’s not being lived? Life is not just about survival.

THG - Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark

Bonus points: They're basically soulmates!

Here's the thing. Katniss is a survivor/pragmatist with zero social skills, but an endless and earnest pit of love and enough passion to literally fuel a revolution.

Peeta is a child abuse victim who has learned to wield social manipulation (the charm offensive! plus literally lying!), but hasn't met an honest expression of emotion in his life (until he figures he's about to die so he might as well tell Katniss she's pretty) and doesn't know how to receive love.

They literally just fit each other. Peeta is charming when Katniss literally cannot. Katniss helps him survive when he's literally dying in a river camouflaged in mud and plants. But most importantly, Peeta teaches Katniss how to live in more than just survival mode, and Katniss reaches into her deep well of love and teaches Peeta how to be loved. Everything is a metaphor, but your honor, they are the couple of all time!!!

[inkofamethyst]

March 8, 2023

No one would ever get this out of me irl but I very occasionally, at the peripheries of my thoughts wonder what might have been if I had agreed to go out with that guy from biochem. (Can you tell that Hadestown has had an effect? This is dizzying. Next thing you know I'm going to be begging to have a crush (but also I'm very picky about my crushes bc they can't be undergrads (lol tbf I'm only barely not an undergrad myself), they can't be in my department, and they have to be someone I see somewhat regularly (no passerby crushes)).) Because part of the reason I said no was fear and part of it was that I was in excruciating pain when we had that study date (mostly the fear though), and then there was also the whole being devastated about not getting to show off that solo that I worked really hard on. Bad vibes all around. But he wasn't a bad guy. I was just scared.

Even still, I can't seem to remember his name.

[edit, next day: I wrote the above last night and you would not believe the butterflies I got today when all I did was make eye contact with some (very attractive) dude before a class. Ridiculous. (I have the need to catch his eye again.) This is gonna be like bike-boy from junior year lol. Or the caving dude, also from junior year (literally who did I think I was, trying to go caving just to get close to a man??? Lowkey still wish I'd been able to get in on that trip, but alas).]

God, I really cannot dance. Was recently informed that alum from my undergrad uni would be restricted in their GDrive space so I went in and culled (will ultimately have to remove half of what I have stored) a bit. In early pandemic days there was some Broadway challenge (it was basically a big ad but it was fun and free (and very successful, incredibly marketed), so) where each week you'd have to take time to learn a song or dance or something and post it and I saved my dance video to my uni GDrive and it's AWFUL. Like the steps are all there, I can remember them (because I drilled it hard) but I'm so clunky lookin--it's dreadful. IT'S SO BADDD. (keep in mind it was newsies though so like it is bad but the choreo isn't helping either) But. If nothing else, I keep that smile on lock(down). I haven't watched any of the theatre tapes from high school but that doesn't make me excited to see them, beyond hating the recorded sound of me singing, bleh.

Found out what next year's stipend numbers are going to be and there's still literally no way I'd be able to make it work with my current savings rates (25% (also I'll be increasing my estimated taxes to 30% from 25%)) without help. It feels kind of weird to say this because I truly miss my grandmother so much like it's not even funny, but she's helping me so much right now.

Want to make a text-based, randomized, hunger-games-style battle royale game in python for my friends to play. In a different life, I think I could've been a game dev. Literally. Writing, music, computer science (I don't really do visual arts though). To be fair, like, there's nothing stopping me from trying. On the side, just for fun, coming up with minigames. I think I'd need to become like Brandon Sanderson though, where I relax by doing something (actually, now that I think about it, I'm not that far off, it's just that I don't have a ton of access to my favorite hobbies rn (music, sewing, etc)).

Today I'm thankful for how beautiful biology can be sometimes. I love how we find reflections of the same ideas at all levels!!! Recently I was thinking about multicellular organisms, and how they're just a bunch of different cell types that have different jobs with the goal of all working toward the greater good of staying alive together. And you don't just see this in things like animals! There are unicellular organisms that form colonies when times get tough, and they sometimes will even divide out work amongst themselves. And at the multi-organismal level, people banded together during those early days of covid to make sure the elderly were fed, that we were getting fitness classes, that we could see performances. And I know this is a basic idea in biology, but that doesn't stop it from being beautiful.

[edit: I finished all of my pre-spring break homework!!!! Let the breaking begin!!!!]

[esorxy]

daily updates of thoughts while reading crimson rivers

afterthoughts::

this was so beautifully written and well plotted, it had some of the best scenes and dialogues, and had me swooning, in shock, all of that

(particularly regulus') character development!!! insane!!! this has left me unsatiable, jegulus has me in a chokehold

oh the romance was so sweet, and ever so rewarding after all of the hurt, both jegulus and wolfstar

my only complaint is that its way too long like i lost so much sleep over this, at the end i was so impatient i kept skipping all the side characters povs cos i just wanted to be done with it

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day 1. 10% (games just started)

it took 80k words to get to the start of the games .... what did i get myself into. and i saw tiktoks going like the jegulus WEDDING ?!?!?!?!?! love it when sirius cannot form coherent sentences around remus, but he needs some distraction they literally have the worse luck ever. I'm so glad they dont have horrible communication issues, maybe because theyre all about to die.

oh and if the jegulus parting 'present' wasnt the saddest way to separate especially since they think theyre going to die

aside, i keep comparing sirius to quackity in that hunger games fic and then i remember how much better the dsmp fanfics were especially since i can actually recall the details after like 2 years. back when i thought 100k+ was a long fic oh how naive

so so far, pretty good, im invested in the story enough to not be bored but not THAT invested

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day 2. 31% (games ended, just before interview)

im fuckin invested. why whyyyy so much pain. regulus never fails to be the most hurt in any room aye. and james being touch starved?!? i lived for that shit.

why was it that reading about the games was so thrilling. the life/death oml give my boys a fucking break. they're out now and still no comfort, the only break theyre getting is a break up wtf!!

asides about the games, james was just a dumbass about peter, evan my beloved as always (and glad that the author shares that sentiment), and what the fuck regulus just realising at the end that he had nothing to live for if james died asfhhdsjjfsgjjf

why the fuck was i not satisfied with reading cute one shots or 100k fics,,, the length of this, i don't want to sleep i don't want to eat god help me with this addiction

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day 3. 60% (second games started)

honestly the lack of a mcd tag is the only thing getting me through this. the hope!! i relate to regulus so much on that.

and that's also the only reason im forgiving them for all being fucking IDIOTS and not making the most of their time together. now is the time to profess your love and get your spine realigned my darlings

why is there literally a force field preventing james and regulus from being happy together??? well im not complaining too much because that means that anything they do now is extra special. regulus not being able to resist james??? gahhh im gone.

also them having tea together and actually starting to heal oh theyre so sweet they dont deserve that cruel world.

they literally chose the worst time ever to make up, at least they did at some point, but man they really confessed and got engaged right before... probable death...

oh the amount of pain my poor boys are going through, i wish they can all escape and live in some cozy domestic paradise with everyone they love. but they have to suffer first otherwise the happiness in the end doesn't count for anything.

oh. my. god. CRYING regulus trying to get sirius to kill him and then going soft at the last moment, and i can't believe sirius almost got baited like that and was really about to kill him. but REGULUS, oh my, my sweet gentle boy, he tried so hard, and the aftermath left everyone in fucking pieces.

it is 2.30am, and it takes literally half an hour to make a 2% dent, and i am HOOKED

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day 4. 80% (healing at phoenix)

regulus is on his way to being my favourite and it's entirely cos he's so angsty and unhinged. following through with all of his threats??? fucking hilarious, and his desperate love confessions and having a meltdown every 2 seconds. hes a wreck GET HELP.

sirius, such a literal icon, i strive for his level of don't give a fuck. "what pasta"?!?! my god i love him. hes so gone on remus its sickening. when dumbles asked for his blood, sirius being possessive?!?! if i was remus i would have folded right then and there, literally sold, this man owns him

james high and being obsessed with regulus the angel?!!! im swooning, literal heart attack material. best scene so far.

i love regulus' character development, hes levelled up to be james' first man. goodbye sirius but tbh he has more than enough problems on his own. oh jegulus is so achingly sweet i will not shut up about it. this is the reward after reading through so much couples angst. they love each other so much IM CRYING, the way regulus looked after him after the rescue mission, in all the ways that James didn't after the first games, oh they're finally together and happy, i would die for them.

i am PISSED at how long this fic is. the amount of nothing that I've done these past few days to read this, after this im going to exclusively read one shots for a whole entire week.

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day 5. 100%

sirius dissociating on the roof and remus sitting with him, im sobbing

yeah im deadass sick of the comfort now, theyve had too much that its not special anymore. i just want it to end already.

jegulus finally getting their dream life and dancing by the fireplace,,,, aaaand theyre getting married ahhhhh, my boys,, theyve come so far, i have no words

james holding regulus in bed while they watch the rain to help with his aquaphobia?!!! if thats not the most angsty romantic beautiful scene ever, im in love

why is it so fucking funny that james gets high from getting railed with a dagger to his throat, like legit my man CANNOT even form thoughts anymore hes so far gone 🤐

happily married with 4 kids, its too perfect, domestic, im in shock

aaand guess what im finally finally finished. that took way too long, reading fanfiction should be a full time job.

im never reading anything over 200k in the near future, that was way too much emotional commitment.

[harrowscore]

i find totally ridicolous how people are starting to boycott the prequel hunger games movie with the reasoning that rachel zegler is (and i quote) "the most toxic actress in hollywood" because she said that she only watched snow white once as a child (it was scary to her) and she had a modern approach to a movie released in 1937 (snow white being more of a "leader" and not only relying on finding True Love etc.). guess what? i think she's right for the most part. snow white is not cinderella; she's not a pennyless country girl. she's a princess. as such, she does have power. she can be both a fearless leader and a soft, kind soul. a main female protagonist in a movie that's going to be out in 2025 can't possibly be portrayed as only longing for a prince she doesn't even know. i even had to read with my own eyes that "it's okay for women to be submissive and feminine' (thus equating feminity with passivity and submission. in 2023). like... no, i'm sorry but that's not true. it's okay to not always be strong, to be weak and broken and helpless too. it's okay to wish for love, to fall in love. but it's not okay to portray a young girl (and a princess at that! with a kingdom and subjects who love her and her late father the king!) as totally dependent on a man to rescue her. sorry but this is not revolutionary, it's not ~feminism actually, it's just tradwife/good old sexist rethoric. a woman having wishes, ambitions, passions, personality, soul outside of the man she loves is Feminism 101. it's so basic, like-- i mean. really. do i need to go further?

it's fair to criticize zegler's remarks/her casting without boycotting, cyberbullying, calling names etc. a very young woman of color (she's half latina) who's also extremely talented (she has such a beautiful voice and singing-wise she will definitely be the most capable live-action disney princess alongside halle bailey). stop being ghouls y'all!! this is getting ridiculous. keira knightley said that she won't let her young daughter watch the little mermaid because she doesn't want her to think 'it's okay to give up your voice for a man" (i personally disagree with this statement and i really, really like tlm, tho i understand it's not the peak of feminism rep lol). she was never cast as ariel of course, but she wasn't 'boycotted'. and zegler's comments about snow white didn't even go that far (otherwise i would understand the criticism about the casting). but these people are really bent on ruining a talented girl's career because she said a 1937 movie is - gasp! - old-fashioned in its portrayal of ideal feminity (angel of the hearth/house, 'mothering' the dwarfs, constantly helpless and with a surprising smile/dreamy countenance even when she - a princess and presumably heir to the throne! - is basically treated as a slave etc.). it's not even a new, never-been-seen interpretation of snow white - see once upon a time or snow white and the huntsman (where she not only wears an armor while still remaining good and compassionate, but the man who wakes her from the magical slumber with the True Love Kiss is not the prince. it's - you guessed it - the huntsman!). i agree that this is not disney's snow white specifically; in fact, in my opinion the movie shouldn't have been made in the first place, like most disney live-actions, because they're just a soulless money grab move from the Mouse and clearly inferior to the originals. but this has nothing to do with 'boycotting' rachel zegler's career, especially when y'all are willing to forgive a lot of shit done/said by (male) hollywood actors without them paying the consequences of their actions/words.

[things-stronger-than-fear]

i feel like this was harder to make than i expected, just by virtue of trying to not make everything over the top in a "SQEEE FANDOM" kind of way yk?

(also idk if they have money in the soft happy ending wedding au. idk i'm just gonna say sejanus is coryo's best man bc there was NO BETRAYAL DAMMIT and sej scammed his dad out of the money.)

(also also i wanted to give lucy gray more bird things but idk. wedding au may be soft but i'm not sure even soft!coryo would approve of birds being involved in his wedding.)

anyways. products and links below the cut:

hair. definitely expect her to have her hair down; if the hunger games couldn't get her to tie it up, what would? and then flowers in her hair, reminiscent of the "pure as the driven snow" premiere. white roses bc coryo ofc. pictured: harriet wild rose wedding bridal flower hair pins by lunaandwild [x]

earrings. our girl loves her hoops, so ofc she gets some. roses might be over the top but whatever at least i didn't do snake/songbird earrings ok? pictured: rose vine hoop earrings [...] by redtruckdesigns [x]

rings. i like these ones bc they're reminiscent of a pink rose, without being too tacky. (i had to hold back from the more obviously rose-themed rings.) i think a light/dusty rose would be a nice wedding color for them, something that's a kind of softer echo of all coryo's red. pictured: anastasia rosé sapphire engagement ring [x] and julia accented contoured diamond band [x] by identity diamonds

guitar. i refuse to believe that lucy gray doesn't sing at her wedding, and bc i've made the executive decision to believe they have lots of money for this event, coryo is gonna get her a special guitar. it has a nice white rose fretboard inlay Because I Say So. pictured: i THINK it's a larry robinson inlay but tbh idk, and i can't identify the brand either (guitar side of tumblr help a girl out lol)

veil. i vote they just use the cape/hood/shawl/whatever-it's-called attached to the dress as a veil. pictured: elie saab autumn/winter 23-24 haute couture look 24 [x]

guitar strap. if there's no new guitar, there's gotta at LEAST be a new guitar strap, ok? i will accept nothing less. pictured: custom linny kenney leather guitar strap [x]

bouquet. white and light pink roses to match the engagement ring. i went for a traditional round bouquet bc i feel like i went kind of avant-garde on everything else and there's gotta be something that's a bit more traditional. (esp if grandma'am is invited.) pictured: bouquet from design by darlene [x]

shoes. i really like these snake heels, although i also thought the dolce & gabbana keira rose sandals (pictured above) would be a good option [x]. i loved that the stem/vine had a bit of a snake vibe. i ended up picking the snake ones since they're a bit more low-key imo, plus they're a nice departure from the roses everywhere else. pictured: diy gold snake serpent t-strap sandals by love, maegan [x]

dress. i bow to snowbaird captain zegler's decree on this one! (maybe dyed dusty rose instead though. hm.) dress linked above.

*for the record, i don't know any of these vendors; i sleuthed pinterest mostly for the pictures, and then did the detective work to find their origins

you're mine and i'm yours. it's written in the stars.

[ LUCY GRAY BAIRD // SNOWBAIRD WEDDING AU ]