#i want to know how she navigates a college campus tho. maybe she has an aide that is like

[brittlebutch]

it has come to me in a vision (Lila using phone AAC app to write her essays when she goes to college)

[bisluthq]

this is like really random but i have to vent. so basically i’m 20 years old and in my second-year at a uk university. and like i had the worst first-year of my life, made no friends, and got long covid plus really bad depression so yeah it wasn’t great. and now im back at uni i just am really feeling my lack of experience. iv never even properly kissed anyone let alone had sex and all the drinking games etc revolve around sex. i’m pretty sure i’m bi just like based on what i masturbate to but i’v only ever looked at guys as potential relationships. i just like don’t know how to navigate the social world with no friends and no sexual experience, it just feels impossible. and all my friends from home (1 of which is at uni with me) have boyfriends or at least have had sex. and also clubbing feels totally revolved around sex and kissing. it’s really hard to admit to people that i’m a virgin because people assume i’m a prude or a weirdo when i’m not i just haven’t really had the opportunity. i’m just feeling like such a loser atm. oh aaaand i actually really want a boyfriend rn.

Firstly, this is totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. There’s no timeline for these things.

Secondly, so this is going to be a long winded Agony AuNat but sometimes I think my best ones are. In a way, this reminds me of a friend I had like 20-21 at uni. Basically we became friends because I caught her forum role playing and I was like “lmaoooo I used to do that too!” and we like bonded over it and like very quickly I began realizing that she did it on the kinds of sites me and my online friends laughed at because they weren’t ⚡️aesthetic⚡️ or sexy. Like this was some high fantasy bullshit lol - no offense also cool - on like ProBoards when we were already in the Jcink era. Anyway no biggie. This girl - a horse girl at 20 still and not in the rich bitch way - proceeded to like… idolize me and obvi y’all know how much I like attention so I loved it. And one night she asked me for advice on how to get kissed because she had been like… really wanting to lose her virginity but things just weren’t happening. I proceeded to give the worst advice ever because I too was just a young un. I said “don’t worry it’s gonna happen for you!!! Like I’m sure your crush likes you!! Don’t stress you’re so pretty and sweet!” And I believed I was saying the right stuff and it comforted her ngl so I was like 👏🏻👏🏻 go Nat you’re the best at giving advice.

Except here’s the problem - it still wasn’t happening. She was going to parties with me and I was like dressing her sluttier like some weird teen romcom movie where I was giving her a makeover and like… no one was biting.

And then - for those who remember the Nat Cinematic Universe - it turned out that rando from my 21st who I randomly fucked? Ya dudes that was her crush lol and she hadn’t told me because she thought I’d figure it out lol and she was mad at me and we sorta stayed friends until I fucked that guy’s friend which was nbd to anyone involved because my bestie fucked him and tbh I fancied the friend because he was this average sized weedy dark haired boy who was very weird looking and she exploded at me and called me a slut and shit and that was that, friendship over.

Unsure what happened next, but the reason I’ve given you this backstory is from my current POV I gave extremely bad advice so I’m gonna try correct with you tonight.

Unless you’re in high school when friends of friends can go between people and say you have a crush, and then you text them and like bam you’re exclusive, you have to work to get ass or make friends. Okay the other exception is if you’re like SUPER hot idk about that life, but tbh probs even then. Life isn’t a teen movie, and you’re not gonna just catch someone’s eye and that’ll be that. Dressing nicely might be part of it, doing your hair and makeup in whatever style you want, and making it clear up front - especially at uni when imo branding™️ matters a lot - what your interests are and such shit all factor in. I’m not saying change who you are because again that’s supremely bad advice: figure out who you are. Figure out what you want to wear (experiment!), who you want to talk to (strike up convos on campus!), what you like doing (try things out!) and - most importantly - what you’re comfortable with. Try drinking - and if you don’t like it, don’t do it. Try flirting - and if you don’t like it, know that you can go from friends to this and not everyone enjoys that. Try clubbing - and if you don’t like it, know that there are a ton of societies you can join on campus and campus events you can go to that don’t revolve around that, so seek those out and find your tribe.

Fundamentally, college is what you make of it.

Which means that like unfortunately my dude, you’ll make a fool of yourself. Probably more than once.

But know that friends won’t manifest and boys won’t manifest unless you make an effort and put yourself out there. Ask people to coffee. Ask people to the pub. Girls, boys, enbies, whoever.

Re the anxiety about “never having done this before” - I think that’s totally normal. But also like lots of other people haven’t and everyone has had a first time. In drinking games you can lie lol. You don’t need to advertise it’s your first time for anything if you’re uncomfortable with it. I didn’t tell my first kiss he was my first kiss lol because it was unnecessary info for him tbh (it wasn’t hs boyfriend even tho I’m pretty sure I was his lol but he was my third 😌).

But you also don’t need to be shy about it because honestly 2nd year uni is so fucking young. It’s not like you’re coming to me as a 40 year old virgin and asking for advice (again no timeline but I’m not there yet so maybe not the right person to give it). Most of the people you’re hanging out with haven’t had a ton of sexual experience either lmao. On my 20th birthday I had been with exactly two people, my Angel boyfriend (in hindsight) hs ex and the Rabbi’s son (literally no one’s Angel boyfriend but hopefully he and his tiny dick are married now and Mazels if so) who I fucked a few days after we broke up to prove a point. I was a bad lay (and remain so with guys unless they’re into The Hiddles Experience, not for lack of opportunities, but because we don’t have to master all things). I also - unlike you - had never masturbated. I’d never had an orgasm. I liked sex with hs ex but couldn’t explain what I liked or why, it was just fun sometimes and other times it wasn’t. (In hindsight with clit action it was fun and with pure thrusting it wasn’t). So the fact that you have wanked already gives you a head start over many of the girls guys will be meeting.

So like… figure out what’s comfortable for you. Try different things out. Walk away when you don’t like it. Never do stuff that goes against your values. Don’t be overly shy in ways that wind up making you uncomfortable, like with the story that started this, and don’t expect these things to happen if you make no effort. That applies to friendships and ass alike. And sometimes what you think will be ass will turn into friendships and sometimes what you think will be friendship will turn into more. Let it. That’s what uni’s for.

Final point: try reduce the pressure of having a boyfriend. It’s fine if it happens, but since as you say you’re not a prude, it’s fine if it doesn’t. It will eventually. Try go into encounters with the open mindedness of “this could be ass, this could be friendship, this could be more” and like clear eyes full hearts can’t lose tbh.

Final final point: join societies. Join all the societies. The best way to both get ass and make friends and make friends discussing the ass you’re getting is by joining societies.

Good luck, hope this helped, love you lots and enjoy this year and the next (and beyond if you choose Honours or postgrad).

[ziracona]

i hunger,,,,, pls feed me the post entity headcanons i need more of my happy kids

Heck yeah Anon!

Laurie ends up studying from home a lot, so she can stay with Michael, and teach him, but she enjoys it. Michael is smart, and he’s a quick learner in general. Laurie’s a good teacher, because her brother gets frustrated easily, and she’s great at navigating around that so he won’t quit whatever she’s trying to help him learn. It’s hard for Laurie at first, emotionally, to be walking her brother through reading elementary school age kids books, because it’s so unfair he wasn’t given an education, but after a little while, she gets used to it, and enjoys working with him a lot more than is made sad by it. She’s very proud of him for getting things, and makes him feel good about his progress. He is proud of himself too.

Dwight is a weenie when it comes to outdoorsy stuff bc he never did it, but after the realm, he’s happy to try out hiking and stuff with Jake, and they really enjoy it. Jake is willing to play games and go on tv show binges with Dwight in return, and they round each other really well. They’re extremely happy. They also are way more social than they thought, because they never had and real friends before (for wildly different reasons) and cannot /stand/ Quentin and Claudette going away to college, and go up to hang out and take them on trips all the time bc they miss them, although Jake tries to keep that low-key and on the dl way more than Dwight does (he’s actually more distressed about his absent friends he didn’t know he needed tho lol).

Quentin and Claudette go to the same college, and Nancy goes to Grad School with them. Philip goes too, to audit, since he never got a complete formal education, growing up during a war, and straight up going from where he is to /taking/ courses would be stressful. He takes all of Claudette’s classes w her and she walks him through stuff and is teaching him abt plants. The four of them share an appartment close to campus & enjoy it a lot. Nancy and Claudette share an interest (canon to both) in entomology, and love talking about it.

Meg does end up becoming a PI and working with Tapp, who helps her get certified too. They work missing persons cases for extremely cheap, and try to help people. They’re really poor but really good at it, and David bankrolls the whole squad any time someone looks like they’re in need or maybe would just be happy to see cash. Susie stays with her and supports her through school, and decides to try out a lot of things to kind of find her own way in life. Meg loves her very much and helps her figure herself out. They (and Tapp) stay with Meg’s mom Rachel and Gabriel and his daughter Adrianna (the people she made a deal w who helped her survive her cancer treatment), and get along well. David buys Gabriel and Adrianna a house, bc he’s David, but they live across the street and spend a lot of time all together. Rachel moms Susie very effectively.

Adam’s book is successful. He gets a job teaching again, creative writing this time & literature, and enjoys it. He keeps writing too. Jeff, Kate, Ace, and David are his volunteer beta group and do book club over his new chapters and he loves them so much he has cried about it at least twice. Ace and Adam honor their idea to have people all get together at least twice a year for cool trips. In all honesty, they’re kind of all constantly with each other, just rotating from house to house, but biannually they go somewhere new, or out of the country and new to some of them. Min gets to take Nea to China and shows her favorite spots, and shows Quentin shrines, which she’d really wanted to do. They go to China four years after escaping, at which point Anna is rehabilitated, so she gets to go too.

Anna stays with Min, Ace, and Nea most of the time while Quentin is in college, once she’s deemed no longer a threat and is okay to be out in society. It’s very hard for her, because the world is so different, but her kids are FIERCECLY protective, and make her life really good in spite of all the things that should make it impossible. She and Alan have a really weird relationship, because he’s Quentin’s dad and she’s his weird feralish kidnap/adoptive mom, but after an initially weird phase, they get along pretty well, and Anna spends a good deal of time there too, and at the Cabin in Indiana (which officially becomes Jake, Dwight, and Adam’s place of residence, but is also more or less home to everyone forever). Alan has a hard time figuring her out, because she’s so weird and it’s surreal, but she really loves his kid and after seeing them interact enough and how protective and loving she is, he decides he likes her. He tries to go out of his way to be nice to her and make her feel wanted and welcome and like she fits in. Anna likes him too, although she takes a /long/ time to get used to the concept of a Dad entirely. It actually helps her broach a lot of her lingering distaste for men. Eventually he’s someone she looks forward to seeing, and will bring gifts she makes to, along with her kids and their friends.

[evans-maxed-out]

Promises Ain’t Enough-Samcedes Chatzy Flashback Xmas 2016

Who: Sam Evans and Mercedes Jones

Where:Sammie’s Christmas Pageant and Samcedes Apartment

When: A few days before Xmas 2016

Notes: Sam struggles with guilt, when he realizes he must break a promise to Sammie and not attend her Christmas show. Mercedes attempts to make things better.

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Sam: "Shit..no no no!" he shouted as he watched all his work disappear as the computer in front of him froze. "Piece of shit fucking crap.." he muttered, defeated as he rebooted, the awful sinking feeling that he hadn't saved his work pervading his body. Hadn't he learned his lesson, with the damn sketchy machines in the college library? Bad enough for it to have happened on campus, but now on his own computer at home? Fucking joke.He glanced at his watch, shaking his head as he realized he wouldn't be able to complete his assignment before Sammie's performance in the Christmas Pageant. There was no way Figgins would give him any slack either. He had to give it in before 10pm or he was screwed. Pulling out his cell, he called Mercedes. "Hey..I can't make it Cedes..The computer crashed on me and I didn't save the assignment.."

Mercedes say shaking her leg nervously as she looked towards the entrance to the auditorium once again. He was late. Samara has been so excited to be the lead elf in the play. Mercedes and Sam both took turns helping her memorize her lines till she was practically saying them in her sleep. The lights began to dim and she checked her phone for time seeing it was two minutes till start. “Come on Sam,” she said worriedly to herself. “Where are you babe?” Just as she went to text him she saw a message flash on her screen. He wasn’t coming. She knew he had to be crushed not to come seeing that he was just as excited as Sammie was. ‘I’m so sorry Sam, focus on your assignment it will be fine.’ She sent her reply and removed her purse from the seat next to her that she no longer needed to save.

Sam: This was shit..his whole life was going to shit..Sammie had been so looking forward to both of them coming to see her in her play. And he had wanted to, so badly as much to say a fuck you to all the other parents who cast censorious looks at him and Mercedes just because they were young parents, as to see his baby girl perform on stage. He hated the thought of Mercedes having to sit there alone, enduring the whispers. Kitty, had made things worse by regaling the parents at the school, with all the sordid details of how exactly they'd ended up together even though she had herself trapped Mike, first year of college, by getting pregnant deliberately. He’d promised her, promised his baby girl faithfully, he’d be there and he was having to break that. "Fuck my life.." he muttered, as he painstakingly began typing out the assignment again.

Mercedes tried to remain calm throughout the pageant when she noticed the not so subtle glances in her direction. This was beginning to be a normal event whenever she would go to places or events with Sam and their daughter. She wished so much she could just yell, “yeah I had a kid young and I’m married to the guy you bimbos gawk at” but for her child’s sake she kept quiet. Her anxiety wasn’t as bad when Sam was there because he always tried his best to keep her calm and unbothered. Kitty was the worst of them all, the ring leader. Mercedes knew it was all because of her jealousy. She wanted Sam and a single one night stand between Mercedes and Sam halted all that. She smiled widely as Sammie took the stage so adorable in her little costume and began to say the closing words of the play. She hadn’t missed a single line. She was super proud of her and bias or not the star of the show. The whole room including Mercedes stood and began to clap loudly as the curtains closed and the light came back up. When the little tikes came out for the curtain call she made sure to snap a photo of Sammie and sent it to Sam as she waited for her daughter to come from the back.

Sam: He smiled sadly as he saw the photo of his daughter come through. She looked amazing and he could see the excitement shining in her eyes, and felt just like an absolute heel for not making it there for her big moment. No one had ever told him it would be this hard..Knowing that this was the way forward to being able to support his family and give them everything they deserved, but in turn having to sacrifice precious moments like these..He was tired, it just kept getting harder, and knowing that this wasn't the life Mercedes would've chosen just seemed to make everything worse. How could you love someone so much and not connect with them? He felt her pulling away every time they were together, she was so reserved, so careful to make any demands on his time that he wanted to shake her at times. But then again, he knew that he didn't have the right to ask anything from her. He'd gotten her pregnant, and now she was trapped. Sighing, he began reading over the assignment, making minor corrections as he went.

Mercedes laughed at how giddy Sammie was the whole car ride home. She kept going on and on about how’s my complements she got from her friends and even the teachers. She was a little sad when asked where her daddy was and Mercedes had to explain that he needed to finish an important homework or he wouldn’t get a gold star. Sammie seemed to be okay with for now but Mercedes knew there would follow up questions later on. “What do you say we take Daddy some food home to help him?” She asked and the little girl nodded her head with a toothy smile. She reminded her so much of Sam that sometimes she had to just take it all in. This may not have been the ideal life for her but she loved her little family. She often wondered if Sam felt the same way. He was pulled into this marriage like she was and maybe he was just playing along to please their folks. She made a quick stop grabbing some food and headed home. Once inside Sammie ran straight to where she knew Sam would be. “Daddy!!!” She yelled running into his arms. He looked so tired and worn out. She giggled at the pen sticking out his mouth, hair disheveled. “I figured you were hungry,” she greeted him. She took a chance sitting in his lap and placing the food down next to him. Feeling even braver she placed a chaste kiss to his lips and raked his hair fixing it. “Any progress?”

Sam: He heard the sound of Sammie's little feet running into the apartment, smiling as he realized his livewire daughter and his wife were back. He hugged Sammie tight as she launched herself into his arms and ruffled her hair lightly. "Hey Sparkie, how was your show? I'm so sorry I couldn't make it.." he said sadly as a wave of guilt washed over him again. "S'ok Daddy! Mommy vid-i-ohd it for you! It was awesome!" she exclaimed before flinging herself around the room renacting her starring moment. His arms closed around Mercedes the instant she sat down on his lap, face nuzzling her neck, breathing in her scent. Times like these were rare, times when they actually touched like any normal married couple would, instead of the awkwardness that always seemed to linger at the edges of any interaction they had..except in bed. There, they connected fully on an almost ephemeral level-it was just this day to day stuff they seemed to have trouble navigating. His eyes darkened as she pressed a kiss to his lips and his tongue automatically, swiped her bottom lip gently. If Sammie hadn't have been there, he'd have had her up against the wall, screaming his name no matter how tired or stressed he was. "Thanks, Cedes.." he said nodding at the food. "It's done.." he said looking away, frustrated. "I missed her show..I'm such a shitty father.."

Mercedes felt sorry for Sam. She could tell he was beating himself up for not making it to her show and she wanted him to know she completely understood. He did so much for them. He worked and tackled school so she didn’t have to work while she took care of Sammie. She was grateful for everything that he had done for them and even if he only did it out obligation she would show her appreciation. “Hey, don’t say that.” She rubbed a soothing hand down his back. “You did what you had to do and there is nothing wrong with that. You’re an amazing father Sam. Did you see how happy she was to see you? She thinks the world of you, and so do I.” She realized what she said before the words could be stopped from coming out. He did mean the world to her tho, even if they had a funny way of showing affection of any form in their day to day life unless it came to sex. This moment was actually a rare occasion for them but she was going to enjoy it for what it was. “Here,” she pulled her phone out going to her videos. “She was the star Sam, I could be bias but those others kids had nothing on her.” She pressed play one arm wrapped around his shoulder as the other held her phone.

Sam:”I think the world of you too, Cedes, you know that right? I couldn’t do this without you..” It was as close as he’d ever come to telling her he loved her. He grinned as she held her phone up and Sammie came on screen. “Nah, you’re not biased baby. She lights up the stage,” he agreed wholeheartedly with her assessment adding mentally, the way you light up my whole life..