#i want to go home and either game or draw. Except drawing is hard

[thatguywrites]

Hab!Oscar Piastri headcannons

Because of how fucking hot he looks in this picture. God I'm gay.

Gender Neutral reader, no sport specified but not f1

I'm gonna use the word game but not go into too many details, so meets, matches, races and other formats also fit :)

He always tries to make as many games as possible

He probably has easier access to a private jet than you, so he doesn't want you to worry about making his races, he'd rather go to you

Like he will finish a race and be on route to you as soon as humanly possible

He almost doesn't want to win just so he'll be able to see you sooner

Whenever you win or score well, he is instantly as close to you as possible to give you just so many kisses

During games he watches you very closely, and gets very invested

He will get upset at judges or refs for calls that don't favor you

And again after you finish changing or showering he will be there to hug you

Like he'll appear out of nowhere just because you looked so hot during the game and he needs to tell you

No matter if you won or if you loss he'll always make sure you eat a big dinner and he'll draw a nice bath for you with nice bath salts and all

And then it is cuddles galore in bed <3

He understands that you are also very busy, and probably can't make very many races, especially if you are playing in Europe during his home race or something

But whenever you can make it, of if you tell him that you can't, and surprise him, he will just be so happy

He will not leave your side until he has to race

If you guys are in the same area but your game and his race overlap he will always make sure you stay in the same hotel

Nothing makes him race better than knowing he gets to see you afterward

The faster he goes, the faster the race ends, and the faster the race ends, the faster he gets to see you!

SURPRISE!!!

Wag²!Lily Zneimer x Reader x Oscar Piastri (except we're not really talking about him anymore)

Lily knows she's more likely to be at a F1 race because she's an engineer, so she tries extra hard to make it to your games

She does team up with Oscar to go to you games too, especially if you play a winter sport

Basically the Tennis matches they went to earlier this year but just so much more common

If you have a bad loss, even if she's busy she will drop as much as she can to be there either in person of over call for you, both to comfort you and to make sure you take care of yourself

She either finds or makes cute merch of your team/country for her to wear day to day

I feel like Hattie would be good at sewing for some reason

(Oscar gets pouty about it but she just reminds him that he races for a team with a terrible color scheme)

pApAyA

She is fully willing to come out so that she can openly support both of you as your girlfriend

@koalapastries @justaf1girl

She makes sure to do as much as she can to make sure you don't think she has a favorite though <3

Taglist: (Comment or DM to be added)

[kingdom-carer]

Unique agere writing prompts:

A bunch of young or inexperienced characters (the younger/less experienced the funnier) are hanging out together when suddenly one of them regresses. None of the others know what to do - “I don’t know how to take care of a baby!!! Do YOU know how to take care of a baby!?”

A character regresses alone … except for their pet. They pick up on the fact that their person is suddenly acting like a child, and takes care of them the best way a pet knows how. (Bonus points if the pet’s reasoning abilities are enhanced somehow, whether through creative storytelling or in-world magical properties.)

A character regresses and loses all of their speech. No cute babbles or lisping here - just complete silence. CG has to figure out what their baby wants through gestures alone, and that can be challenging depending on how young their kiddo is.

A character teen regresses around their superior or boss, becoming mouthy or being silly in a distracting manner. Boss/coworker quickly discourages that behavior, and teen is highly embarrassed and has to work through a lot of unhappy emotions regarding rebellion or rejection. The boss/coworker could be either caring or mean for this one.

Kiddo’s heart stops when they see someone who looks like Santa Claus on their day out. Without thinking, they approach him. The man is surprised to see them, but meets them with warmth and promises to write their Christmas wish down for the elves. Was it really Santa? Who knows?

Middle shyly admits that they are interested in something they got scolded for when they were young - and CG decided to join them in their quest to live out the dream, whether that’s funky hair, a new fandom, or a tricky hobby. Kiddo ends up rocking it, of course.

Digging up old writing or artwork pitches a middle into their headspace - and it is NOT a good one. CG isn’t sure why middle is being so bratty until they suddenly burst into tears, saying they hate themselves and they wish they could just disappear. CG offers to go through the sketchbook and praises each page lovingly as they do, but the drawings turn darker and darker …

CG has a hard day and wants to love on their kiddo to relax, but kiddo isn’t feeling particularly small and subtly tries to redirect the attempts at affection. CG gets more and more frustrated until they snap, shouting, throwing things, slamming doors and cabinets. So many repressed emotions bubbling up … CG immediately regrets what they’ve done and hides away in shame. Baby does their best to cheer CG up again, even if CG’s outburst scared them.

Kiddo is perfectly big when going about their day, but a sweet lady at the gas station starts calling them all sorts of pet names when she sees they’re upset and offers to pay for their snacks. Kiddo immediately tries to hold it together, but tears are still falling from their eyes.

CG or kiddo revisits their childhood home and reflects on their upbringing. Good? Bad? Ugly? You decide.

Middle revisits a school and realizes how … young they all are. Mentally, they’ve been stuck there for so long … but my, how far they’ve come.

Kiddo has to babysit a younger kiddo when there’s no one else around to care for them. Chaos ensues.

For some reason (possibly due to trauma or magic?), big cannot remember being little, even though the aftermath exists. They begin leaving notes to themselves when big, and get responses back when small. Slowly, they start to heal their hurt brains and bridge the gap between headspaces.

Big actually goes back in time to meet their little self. Who have they become in the eyes of this tiny person?

Kiddo is afraid of making messes and getting in trouble, so CG responds with sensory bins, mud puddles, shaving cream kiddie pools, and other activities where getting messy is the name of the game. There are lots of big feelings, but nothing a little food fight can’t fix.

CG misses their kiddo so much it hurts. They snuggle a pillow and tend to their stuffies, but it isn’t the same. They call their kiddo just to see how they’re doing, and kiddo can tell it’s hard for them to be apart; so they decide to get their CG a pet.

A kiddo with powers has to relearn to use them when small, since channeling energy takes focus … and so does repressing a magical outburst when upset.

A CG starts falling in love with someone … and kiddo notices, taking it upon themself to help them get together by being “sneakily” romantic. Naturally it is not quite as subtle as they intended.

You’ve heard of “caught being little,” now get ready for “caught being a CG.” Why IS this box full of band-aids and stuffed animals and grab-and-go play packs and electrolytes in your closet?

[exo127wayv]

get to know your tumblr mutuals tag💗

tagged by @nfly5 & @daehyunjung 💓 thank you 🫶🏻 and I’m sorry it took me so long lol

1. what's the origin of your username?

exo, nct 127 and wayv are my all time fav groups :)

2. OTP(s) + shipname

star trek: mspirk/triumvirate! (aos&tos) + any ship with mccoy ;)

idolish7: pythagoras trio (mitsuki/yamato/nagi)

enstars: noritama (shinobu/tetora/midori)

these are all pretty casual except for mcspirk lmao and yes apparently I like trio ships

3. song stuck in my head

satanized by ghost

4. weirdest habit/trait

when I get into something I let it completely consume my entire life lmao I get very fixated on stuff

5. hobbies

my biggest hobby is collecting things lol I my main collections are kpop (albums & photocards), enstars merch and cards, and one piece zoro things~ I also love drawing and painting, digital art journaling, playing rhythm games, and watching various things lol

6. if you work, what's your profession?

it’s hard to describe my job tbh. But fire alarm safety and maintenance dispatch at a hospital.

7. if you could have any job you wish what would you have?

marine biologist (like I wish I could just snap my fingers and just have the knowledge and certification lol)

8. something you're good at

sleeping

9. something you hate

i could list an endless amount of serious things that are frustrating and a very real problem but I’ll just do a couple random things that irrationally make me furious lol

my neighbors that put their trash loose in our trashcan and the trash guys don’t take it because it’s not in a bag so we have to clean up after our neighbors 😭

10. something you forget

so much lol but honestly to live more. I forget that to actually live. I tend to just go to work and go home and spend my days off rotting at home.

11. your love language

I think mine is either words of affirmation or quality time

12. favourite movies/shows

shows: star trek the original series!! pushing daisies, the x files, hannibal, scooby doo lol

anime: one piece, fullmetal alchemist brotherhood, hunter x hunter, inuyasha

movies: CLUE! the addams family, the fall and any scooby doo movies tbh

13. what were you like as a child?

very sensitive…and worried about getting in trouble. I’d say I was a pretty obedient child lol

14. favourite subject in school

history or some kind of art or band

15. least favourite subject

math!!!! I’m so bad at it

16. what's your best/worst character trait?

best: empathetic?

worst: I am my own worst enemy and biggest hater.

17. if you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

I don’t really know. I mean maybe make myself not mentally ill? Actually I think I’d just make it so I never had migraines ever again. But like I would also be fine making myself never have to worry about money again. Like I could just like yeah that sounds good to eat let’s get dinner out tonight and I could afford it you know? Like I need new work pants and I could just go buy some and not have to save up for them 😭

18. if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

I really don’t have an answer for this one.

tagging:

@kokaibop @sheawolfmp3 @kimkaitual @sehnista @stanbap @honeydewtual @oomfy @exosnoona and anyone else that wants to do it! pls don’t feel pressured to do this and sorry if you get tagged more than once to do it I didn’t check 😭

[megamagimugi]

Ooookay, so soft asks for my bro, huh? 🤭 Lemme see...

Here's a few I'm curious about: 10, 16, 17, 26, 28 and, even though I might be able to guess your answer, I'm including 1 too!! ✨

At your own time of course, bro 🥰💚❤️

Based on this ask game:

What song makes you feel better?

The answer to this one is not that obvious, because it depends on different factors: what song or songs I've been enjoying listening to lately, how exaxtly I feel or what exactly I need to feel better about, etc. But I'll give you a few examples that often work for me (starting with my favorite Mario fansongs!):

And of course...

Plus some Disney songs, of course! Go the Distance from Hercules and My Funny Friend and Me from The Emperor's New Goove are a couple of notable examples.

10. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?

Heh, you should know that because I actually admitted it! It was on April 25 when we were joking around with Vulpix and Boma in our group chat, and Boma made that out of context screenshot of Mario telling you to give up all hope🤣🤣 And actually, I was very close to tears of laughter during our most recent jokey time in that group chat when you accidentally said you were waiting for Luigi to answer instead of Mugi - but I didn't quite get there😆

16. What's something you want to create soon?

Page 9 of my comic which I already started sketching but forced myself to stop so I could focus on my schoolwork... with little success so far lol Other than that: some artwork for the Switch Farewell Project.

17. How do you feel best loved?

Well, technically my main love language is physical touch, but I usually can't really have that (only 139 days until I get to hug my favorite person though, let's gooo!!!). Hmm, I'd say that certain asks and gifts from my friends here on Tumblr have been how I feel best loved lately🤗 Including this recent ask from you, my beloved twin, and this sweet drawing Dreamy made for me when I was feeling down as a response to my drawing, which I once again responded to with a final drawing. Not to mention certain gifts I got for my birthday - the way you lovingly wrote two fics for me and still sent me a separate ask with well wishes really touched me❤️ And you know, some things you say to me are just so sweet and beautiful, and that makes me feel so loved... even just the way you call me your spiritual twin brother, and the Mario to your Luigi❤️💚

26. If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

Hmmm... In the past, maybe my answer would have been the US, just because of the big animation studios that are located there and I was hoping to one day work at one, or maybe for a while it would've been Japan, but knowing more about both of these countries now I'd hesitate to actually move to and work in either of them (I mean, I mostly felt great in the US, but the expensive healthcare scares me; I actually have more complex beef with Japan, believe it or not)... except for a really great job opportunity, that is. I don't know? I would like to live somewhere far away from home, but it's hard to tell where would be the best place for me. But maybe... for some reason Spain kinda sounds nice😉 I dunno! As for someone to live with, well... For the longest time I could only imagine living on my own since I had no candidate in mind. But if I could live with you, my twin, I'd be happy to, as long as we'd each have our own space and privacy! Or, since you don't want to live with anyone, I'd like to live very close, maybe even next door or something, so that we could easily visit each other - not only to hang out often, but also in case of medical emergencies or just rough nights etc. But it's all just a little fantasy, a what-if, of course.

28. What are you proudest of?

The achievements I'm actually proudest of all happened so long ago that it feels like they happened in another lifetime, so it's hard to actively feel proud of them anymore... But I guess I'm proud of my progress in art over the years, as slow as it's been. I certainly feel proud of myself for developing enough critical thinking skills, love for logic and rational thought (which higher education and therapy helped with immensely), and courage, to finally deconvert from religion a few years ago after being enslaved by it practically all my life. Similarly, I'm proud of myself for realizing that the dojo I learned various Japanese martial arts in for 3 years was a toxic environment for me, and finally walking away from it. And of course, I'm proud to be a friend to some really awesome people I met on this website! Such as yourself, Zahra :3

Aaaand that's it! Hopefully this super long answer satisfies you and helps you get to know me even more😃

[twoastricts]

Here's some art of Hornet in a special outfit, it's the type of outfit a Deepphid would only wear to a party, festival, ceremony, diplomatic meeting with a foreign power, etc. It's also the type of outfit only nobles can get their hands on.

This was supposed to be a simple peice. This was just meant to be me solidifying the outfit for a comic I was drawing. It lead to me erasing the entire comic and deciding the completely rework Hornet's entire place in Project:Waffle. Basically, discard anything I said about Hornet, except for the post about the Grimm Troupe.

Okay, so this is the post about Hornet

Growing up, Hornet ALWAYS wanted to meet her father, but Herrah never let her, as she didn't like the idea of the bug that murdered his children being a major influence in Hornet's life, though young Hornet was a child who didn't understand that. After begging and prodding and petitioning her mother for YEARS, Herrah decided that Hornet could meet her father, though only for a day and under Herrah's supervision.

So that happens and Hornet and PK IMMEDIATELY kick it off, PK (who I characterize as being REALLY protective to ANYONE he considered family (he only really was weird with Hollow cause he spent the entire time lying to himself that, "You don't care for them, they have no mind, or thoughts, or will, you can't possibly care for them," because he knew the MOMENT he admitted to caring for them he would be unable to go through with the plan, and, in his mind, doom the kingdom. That's WHY PK found another option to stop the Radiance, the White Lady, who also was trying and failing, though failing much harder, to not care, basically backed him into a corner and got him to admit to her and himself that he cared for Hollow, and now suddenly the whole plan needs to be thrown out the window)) is ecstatic to be able to bond, even if just for a bit, with his daughter, and spends the time he has with her to be the BEST dad he could be. (The White Lady describes PK as a great father when he's trying to be one, and a terrible father when he's trying to be a king.)

He and Hornet spend the time playing tag, and he teaches her a popular Hallownest board game, which he gives a copy of to her to take home, and Hornet is having the time of her life! It's everything she hoped for and MORE.

This causes her to bug Herrah even more to go meeting him again. Over time, this routine of sending Hornet to the White Palace for a week every year, though she goes with some retainers who keep a close eye on her and PK, Herrah's orders.

While at the palace, Hornet tries VERY hard to get Hollow to do, something, anything really, talk, blink, smile, acknowledge that Hornet's even there. Hornet knows of the plan for a long time, she's just a CHILD who can't really understand it at all.

Eventually, as the infection keeps getting worse and both Hallownest and Deepnest decide 1. That Hallownest needs to focus on the Vessel's training. 2. That Hornet needs to train and be prepared for queen ship ASAP. 3. That it's not profitable for either of those 2 goals to keep sending her to the White Palace for a week every year. 4. It's probably not safe to send her over to the palace every year anymore. So she stops getting sent over there.

Years later, the infection suddenly disappears, atleast in Deepnest's perspective, without the plan being enacted and with no word from Hallownest about what happened. Now, everyone really wants to know: what happened? Why did the infection disappear? Is it gone forever or only a bit? Why did Hallownest seemingly change plans and decide to not tell ANYONE about it? Why has Hallownest decided to change plans? Is the Radiance dead? Is she just sealed away? What will happen to the infected? To the shaky alliance between Hallownest and Deepnest that only arose to combat the infection? What are the consequences of how the infection was dealt with? And so many more, but Herrah also recognizes that, if this reprieve is only temporary, she can't waste time going on a diplomatic mission when she could be rebuilding her kingdom, so she sends Hornet on the mission (it's why she's wearing the outfit) instead, along with some escorts.

There is around when I think the story starts, Hornet appearing in the White Palace for the first time in years to ask what the fuck is going on.

Her character arch I'm currently thinking of is trying to stop the supreme awkwardness between her parents while relearning to have fun again. (This may or may not be inspired from a song by AJR, shut up, okay?)

[shortmoke]

May I have cg ellis hcs,, holds out my bowl like a lil victorian boy,, i love ur stuff sm!!

Yess ofc! I was getting to this (I literally had the same thing on my pinned under 'List of Characters'). I guess I'll be nice and give you your food 🙄 (All jokes)

Thank you so much! The support means a bunch to me 🫶🫶

I'm sorry for this being so late, I was gonna post earlier today, but then I totally fumbled and regressed. When that happens my brain and hands don't work so... whoops. Wasn't meaning for it to happen today but whatever brain 🙄🙄

(Based on an AU that they get sent to a government built town with carriers. So it's all pretty much normal, except for the military checking their every move. So, no zombies!!)

🛻 Toddler regressors are his favourite, especially the energetic ones. Equal amounts of energy bouncing off the two of you

🛻 Doesn't mean he won't mind you not being energetic or quiet. He'll just be the energetic one regardless

🛻 100% the fun uncle / older brother

🛻 At first especially, he made you cry more times then he'd like to admit. He goes too far or too intense with either a game or a joke and it spirals

🛻 If it's nice out he'll get you up early just so you two can go run around in a field. Since barely anyone's awake, no one going to care

🛻 Alternatively, just sitting in said field if you don't want to run around.

🛻 Will be getting you outdoors as much as the weather and you'll allow him. It's stuffy and crowded in their shared home (with 5 people, holy...)

🛻 Gets upset when seeing you with someone else. Like what? Your HIS baby

🛻 Puts his hat on your head and pushes it down just enough to cover your eyes

🛻 Pinches your cheeks randomly

🛻 Causing mayhem with him? You're his favourite now... as if you weren't already

🛻 Absolutely (not) pro at those kids arts and crafts. Like macaroni art

🛻 LOVES your drawings. Two swiggles, well they look better then what he could ever do

🛻 Puts your finished art up in one section of his room or on the fridge

🛻 If you're upset, he'll do everything in his power to try and make you happy again

🛻 If around the others and your little, he'l cover your ears, say something like a curse then take his hands off. He does NOT want you repeating you

🛻 ... tried so hard not to laugh as you repeated it back.

🛻 Somewhat of a pushover. I mean.... he wants a snack too and having a little bit wouldn't hurt. Still, he knows he can't give you EVERYTHING even if he wants to

🛻 Compared to the others, if you have something you shouldn't, it's way easier for him to get it away from you because he's more trustworthy. He just wants to see it, and of course, he'll give it back! (He doesn't)

🛻 Don't hesitate to bother him. If it's in the middle of the night, he's barely had any sleep but you're scared? He'd rather you wake him up then you staying alone he doesn't want you to feel like that, ever.

[drakmanka]

About Me

Hello there! I'm Drakmanka, an Asexual, Genderfluid/Non-Binary, plural Dragonkin. I use They/Them pronouns and often refer to myself as "This Dragon".

Current age: 32 years.

Though I am host of a plural system, this blog will predominantly or possibly exclusively be run by me, Drakmanka. My headmates prefer more private settings in which to front and share their thoughts.

DNI if anti-endo, we have nothing to say to each other.

I intend this blog to be PG so it is safe for minors.

Additional info about me and my interests below the cut

My alterhuman identities (that I am confident about) are as follows, in order of importance to me: Dragon, dinosaur, raven, Tigger, demigod (of some sort, still figuring that one out), and elf. I am also exploring a vampire Archetrope. I identify as both Therian and Otherkin.

I am also cat-hearted, rat-hearted, horse-hearted, and ent-hearted.

My plural system is primarily comprised of fictive walk-ins, but a few of my OCs have also shown up (this actually makes writing about them really hard with someone actively critiquing my portrayal of them).

While wearing my Human Costume(TM) I drive a school bus and make cat noises at my coworkers (some of whom do it back!). In my free time I enjoy chatting online with fellow alterhumans, working on one of my original stories, drawing (mostly dragons), reading, playing video games, and building LEGO sets and MOCs.

I have two cats: Layden my heart-cat; a grey tuxedo rescue who's been with me for over 10 years, and Jasmine the family cat; a flame-point Siamese who was rehomed to us last year when her original owner had to move to a retirement home.

I've been keeping rats for nearly 17 years now. I'm currently without rats after the passing of my elderly boys Frodo, lost to cancer, and Samwise, who mercifully passed from simple old age. I'm unsure when I will be ready to open my heart to new rats, but I know myself; I go a special kind of crazy without them.

And lastly on the pets front, I keep a tropical freshwater aquarium. It's a 29-gallon community tank. Ask about fish names if you're curious!

Some of my favorite titles and franchises of various media (in no particular order) are: Bionicle, Lord of the Rings (especially the books!), Minecraft, Dishonored, Metroid, The Legend of Zelda, D&D5e, Girl Genius, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Stargate SG1, Star Trek, Star Wars, Dragonriders of Pern, Super Mario Bros, Spyro (the Dragon/Legend of), Calvin and Hobbes, TES Skyrim, The Age of Fire, and Wings of Fire.

Some of my non-media-related interests are: Zoology, Paleontology, Meteorology, electronics, horticulture, auto mechanics, Astronomy, forestry, and Geology.

I also enjoy training my pets, practicing music (I play piano as well as ocarina, and am trying to get good at guitar), language study (I am low-level conversational in Spanish, am attempting to learn Thai and Japanese, and want to learn German, Chinese, and Russian someday), and I'm trying to raise a bonsai tree from seed but keep losing my seedlings.

I collect rocks, rubber duckies, and suffer from an affliction known as bibliophilia which has rendered my bookshelves utterly stuffed. I have a plushie collection that takes up a little over half my bed. I'm also addicted to music.

I enjoy most forms of music except jazz, rap, and blues. My favorite music genres are Alternative, Rock, Metal, World, and Ambient Music.

I live with my Found Family whom I affectionately refer to as my sister, my gramma, and Sensei/grampa.

I am adopted, which definitely makes the way I define family looser than some.

My adoptive mom, I refer to as just my mom, and same with my adoptive dad. I have an adoptive older sister who amusingly is almost the same age as my chosen sister. I have two biological half-sisters, whom I generally refer to as my bio-sisters. I refer to my biological mother as my birth mom, and my biological father as my father. I have never met either of them but I have met my bio-sisters.

I also have step-family: my dad divorced my mom many years ago now (amicably) and she remarried when I was 18. My step-dad is a pretty nice guy, and I also have a step-brother and step-sister (my step-sister is also, amusingly, almost the exact same age as my adoptive sister and chosen sister).

My family situation is a bit of a tangled mess to explain but it all makes perfect sense to me!

When I refer to "my family" I am almost always referring to my Found Family. I don't expect I will make such references often though.

If this data-dump wasn't enough for you, feel free to message me with questions!

[miammey]

I've been having Calydorks brainrot so you're getting headcanons plus doodles of them in PJs because it helps with type body headcanons

Caesar

Learned the hard way not to sleep with her prosthetic on (too many times has her hair got stuck in it. Also she once accidentally slammed it against the metal railing of her bunk, which made the expected Pipe Falling sound, sending the whole gang into a panic

She can carry everyone in the gang one-handed, and has done it many times (including Big Daddy, he wasn't very happy with it but Caesar was having the time of her life)

She may not be the best at spelling, but her handwriting is actually pretty nice looking

She will always step in front of other members of the gang to shield them from danger. No matter how strong she knows they are, she takes her role as meaning she should protect her people

Occasionally has nightmares about the day she lost her arm, but isn't upset at the fact that it's gone anymore

Has a nut allergy, learned it the hard way. She then wanted to try and "build up tolerance," which went as poorly as you'd expect (Big Daddy was not happy with all those medical bills, but Caesar was young so he couldn't blame her much)

Often wonders if she would've been close with her dad, or if he would be proud of her for how she's leading the gang, but has made peace with the fact that she'll never learn the truth

Piper

She's middle aged, around the same age as Big Daddy actually (I tried to make that clear in the art, but unfortunately I can only draw people either young or elderly, trying to find an in between)

Never wanted kids of her own, but she is an auntie. Her nibblings love riding around in Steeltusk

She likes keeping up with youth fashion, it's a way for her to take care of herself and her appearance, something she's not really great at

Can't cook for shit, tried once for the gang but it ended in a fire even Burnice would be impressed by, but to be fair that's mainly because she took a "5 minute nap" that turned into a 5 hour nap. Either way she's banned from the kitchen

REALLY good at card games, but not great at gambling

Sings to herself while on long drives, she's not some superstar, but the gang said it was relaxing to hear

Lucy (Plus the Boar Trio)

She is the ONLY person allowed to knock the three piggies around, only exceptions being the other Sons, but they're not really the type to do that. She can and will shatter your ribs with her bat if you mistreat them

Had a high school diploma, graduated with honors, and even had some scholarships offered to her, but basically right after graduation she went to the Outer Ring

Not really close with her parents, but she had a couple sisters she stays in contact with. They're not close, but she occasionally texts them to let them know she's alive, and they update her on how things back at home are going

Failed the exam 3 times until she was given her bikers license. She wasn't bad, just way too reckless at times

Not one to outwardly show appreciation because she's embarrassed, but if you see a little trinket or treat on your bed you know it's from her

The Boar Trio are triplets and Big Daddy's bio kids. They see Lucy as their big sister, and she sees them as her brothers in return, although she'd never say it

They do have a mom, matching Big Daddy's nickname, she's Big Mama. They get their toughness from her, she's a scary lady but also very protective

Somehow her skin stays almost flawless despite being in the Outer Ring all the time. Other than the scars, she somehow keeps it beautiful, like it's witchcraft, beauty products shouldn't work THAT well

She wasn't really allowed to be overly emotional growing up, so now she can release everything she's bottled up and more in the form of angry yelling. It's genuinely freeing and cathartic to her

Burnice

Took a lot of practice to get the hang of her flamethrowers, she still has burn scars from the early days, but she never gave up

Always brings in stray animals. She can't keep them, unfortunately, but she does make sure they get a good home

Drinks so much Nitro Fuel that she's basically immune to it, but she loves the taste

Her first job ever was a barista, then bartender. She's just loved mixing drinks her whole life, really. Unfortunately, she was also bad at keeping jobs for other reasons

Is always one of the first to greet new members of the gang. They're in the gang so they're family now, and she's honestly the best at making people feel more relaxed and at home

Contrary to that tho, she's terrifying to enemies of the gang because this girl is not afraid to set you and everyone around you ablaze. I genuinely think that she joined the gang go get away from some arson-related legal trouble

Has only cried a few times since joining the gang, usually at deaths, but otherwise she's great at finding the positives in situations and keeping the gang's hopes up. She's the heart of the group

Cannot sit still for the life of her. At all. She's practically vibrating in her seat, she always has to keep moving in some way

Bites popsicles (the correct way to eat them)

Lighter

Genuinely just bad at names, of anything really. It took like a month for him to learn the names of everyone in the Sons

Took a while for him to be comfortable showing his skin to the gang, and even now he doesn't really like doing it, mainly because he doesn't like looking at, or others looking at, his scars

The gang learned the hard way that he faints if he sees too much blood. Dragging him back was not fun for anyone involved

Has a lot of old injuries from the Arena, they tend to act up with bad weather, so he uses that to predict if they should go riding that day or not

His hair gets super messy really easily, but it's also really easy to move it back to place

Still keeps in contact with his friend's daughter, just to make sure she's doing alright

Dogs love him, he doesn't even know why, they just do. He's not complaining tho, who wouldn't want to be followed by a puppy

Ok that's all I have, if someone of these go directly against canon feel free to let me know, or if you have your own headcanons or additions, I wanna hear them

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 16

... is Derek really an incel? like, at the very least, shouldn't him being with Kristal prove that he isn't an incel? i have no qualms with Emily insulting Derek, but she should at least be accurate.

ooh, Emily going full villain mode? we stan :D

girl how would you possibly think this would work

so Ally has resorted to playing a fully emotional game, huh? you either get eliminated a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the Jake.

the music in this scene cracked me up. also, i think aleriya is (canonically) dead after this scene, if it hadn't already died beforehand. (i say canonically bc fans can do whatever they want)

d-does he still...? also, obligatory "just because Connor loves Riya doesn't mean she has any obligation to love him back, villain or not."

i really can't tell if this part of Ally's character arc is meant to be viewed as good or bad. like, the show is obviously telling us that Ally's overall trajectory is bad, and being needlessly cruel to other people for the sake of putting your own emotional wellbeing first could certainly be a part of that. but, there's also been a lot of commentary about how hard it is to be under the scrutiny of social media (likely from the crew's own experiences), so Ally learning to stand up for herself and what she needs could also be a form of wish fulfillment. hopefully it'll resolve as a multi-layered predicament in the end, but i'm just trying to figure out how Ally will respond to her edit in All Stars in either the finale or the Loser's Motel episode.

...can't you just wait, like, two more episodes to directly state the point of your character arc, essentially then concluding it? then i could be sure that you'd win.

HELP

lmao of course the nerd can't rock climb. he can carry 120 pounds on his back but he cannot ascend.

Connor is really fucking strong goddamn?

Ally really can't fight this, because this is the exact rationale that she was trying to use on Jake for their entire games.

i want to see people draw buff Grett in the style of the buff Natsuki meme from DDLC. but, also, go Grett!!!

the intense difficulty of a twelve piece jigsaw puzzle. Venus noted that it really sounded like Kristal was describing a slide puzzle, but I understand why that would've been really difficult to storyboard.

Connor you can't be this stupid (/j)

in-universe, i don't really understand how she beat Alec (he was really good at the block puzzle in s1 and it fits his vibes), but yay Grett! i knew she wasn't going home tonight anyway.

what else could it have possibly been, Ally? regardless, we're definitely setting up the pieces for Grett's downfall soon.

can you really count the TikTok challenge as a "Jake immunity win"? literally everyone except Gabby and Grett won immunity in that challenge.

for a moment, i really thought Connor was going to pull the Kim Possible "out there... in here..." thing.

so true Jake

this feels like a fanfic line

you know Jake's having flashbacks to his last final 6 experience.

well, while i certainly thought that it was Riya's time to go in terms of the cut, it does actually make more sense for Alec to go home here, no plot armor involved! (other than arguably the plot armor of not letting Alec win the challenge.) Alec is much more threatening in a final 3 situation because of his greater athleticism and intelligence as compared to Riya, and Grett is closer to Riya than Alec. it sucks to see one of my favorites go, but it's entirely logical.

Riya out here projecting ("little toy")

this was such a good moment. i especially love the storytelling without dialogue going on with Connor's reaction. anyways, if Riya wasn't going to win before, she's definitely not going to win now. you don't get hit with the "look at what a sorry state you're in" three episodes before the final and then snatch the W.

maybe you shouldn't have fired and humiliated your employees live on TV, then.

is this season going to end with Kristal resigning from the show? i thought that might happen to make way for Emily as the new host, but now that she's going more villainous, i don't think that'll be the cast anymore. maybe Derek and Trevor will take the show back over, as (I think) the more popular hosts in the fandom?

anyways. a solid episode! i think a good number of people saw the Connor idol play coming from a mile away, so it wasn't all that surprising that one of the major villains was going down. still, we had interesting strategy and some great character moments, especially for Connor. they're really making the best of his extended time in All Stars. and, hey, there are only two guys left, so maybe he'll make the finale! it doesn't really matter, though, because it's gonna be Jake. i'll keep riding the Jake winner train until he gets eliminated. not that i think that's going to happen ;)

see you next week!

[sarcasticsciencefictionwriter]

For the kisses game: 💛 with the ship of your choice. :)

Thank you and sorry this took so long! Ooooh, my choice? 😏 This is going to be Helen/Ranna, because I'm still on my Ranna obsession. (Thank you so much for giving me pick of the ship, even though I don't know if this is one you like!) This takes place during Sanctuary For None Part 2 and incorporates a couple headcanons.

💛 reunion kiss / relief __

Helen's ears were ringing from the explosion that had touched the edge of her hearing just as they had teleported, and her eyes had to take a moment to adjust to the lighting of Hollow Earth.

She was, she realized, holding Ashley's arm in a death grip, quite possibly on the verge of drawing blood with her fingernails.

She hastily loosened her grip and looked at her daughter.

Ashley didn't say anything. Neither of them had the words for what Helen had just done, the necessity of the action ignored in the pain caused by quite literally burning their home to the ground.

"Are you all right?" Helen managed, though Ashley had only been there in the last minutes.

"Yeah, Mom."

Ashley gave her a small, tight smile.

"Helen!"

Helen turned to see the people rushing towards them, found that she couldn't convince her legs to move towards them, though she wanted to. If she unlocked her knees, there was a very good chance that she would collapse to the ground.

John reached them first, by virtue of longer legs, but stayed back from Helen herself, instead eyes inspecting Ashley like any good father would.

Ranna had no such qualms, stopping mere inches from Helen, eyes scanning her briefly before locking on her face.

With no further hesitation, Ranna kissed Helen, the action almost harsh.

The harshness was something Helen needed and something she embraced, and she kissed Ranna back, the hand that had been clutching Ashley's arm almost madly scrabbling at Ranna's back to steady herself.

Their combine relief was palpable and nearly overwhelming. Helen's for her plan actually working, Ranna's for seeing Helen emerge alive, and together it was nearly enough to drown her.

Ranna pulled away first and Helen almost yanked her back, needing that anchor.

"You're shaking."

"I-I'm alright."

It wasn't a lie, but it certainly wasn't true.

Ranna's brow creased and she tugged Henry's shield from Helen's shoulder, the thing that had allowed her and Ashley to teleport through the explosions unharmed, that allowed them to be here now.

"Take this." Ranna nearly snapped at John, holding it out.

John's eyes glittered, but he took it.

"Go inform the others that it's over."

John and Ranna stared each other down, Ranna expecting to be listened to, John clearly not enjoying the orders.

"Please." Helen managed.

John looked at her one more time and Ashley tugged his arm, leading him away to where it looked like others were waiting, either knowing that Helen needed time or simply not able to keep up with the strides of the other two.

She watched them go, realizing that she was shaking rather hard, and she looked at Ranna again.

"What do you need?"

"I don't know."

Helen laughed almost hysterically, knees buckling.

Ranna caught her and held her, kissing the top of her head gently.

"I just blew up my home. I abandoned the people I have on the surface. I told the entire world about abnormals and then staged my own death. I kissed Nikola!"

"Did you, now? Well, I suppose the Praxian and vampire rivalry isn't quite at an end, then."

Helen laughed weakly into her chest, wondering why this was what shook her so badly, what made her brain stutter and struggle to function.

But it did and she didn't know why.

Logically, it shouldn't have. Every Sanctuary except for New York and London had been emptied to Hollow Earth. Henry, Will, Kate, Abby, and Nikola were safe. They would be here. Eventually.

She had been working on this plan for over a century and it had reached completion. It was on to the next stage.

And Helen. Couldn't function.

Ranna seemed to understand. Of course she did. She had been through the destruction of her entire city. But unlike Helen, she had lost the people that had refused to leave.

She held on to Helen as long as Helen allowed her to and Helen was able to regain function in her legs.

"How is--"

"Your father is caring for him now." Ranna's fingertips brushed her lips. "He said he's strong."

Her old friend might not be strong enough to pull through what had been done to him, but Helen could barely keep her mind on that.

They faced each other and Ranna turned to face the Sanctuary, Helen allowing her gaze to travel over it.

At this time of night, most of the residents would be in their rooms and habitats and they were now alone, letting her take in the sight of the Sanctuary she had built and abandoned and come back to so many times over the years.

She had the sudden image of a phoenix rising from the rubble the Old City Sanctuary was now and grasped Ranna's hand, squeezing it for a moment before letting go.

They started walking, silent.

To rest, to hold vigil, Helen wasn't certain.

Her mind and her body needed some time. She knew that she was experiencing symptoms of shock and it made her feel ashamed, because that was the sort of reaction she could never afford to have.

It was finally Ranna that broke the silence.

"Caleb?"

"Dead."

"How?"

"Drill through the chest from the lab defense."

Ranna grimaced, as if she thought this was too much, which nearly amused Helen coming from the woman that had regularly executed people and stored their bodies for potential later revival.

"We'll be safe now."

Helen said it as a promise, a prayer, the thing that she would die to make certain remained true.

Ranna gave her a smile and that look made Helen feel better, more stable.

They walked until they were at the path through the water, the path that led to the outside world, where Helen hoped to soon bring the remainders of her family through.

They sat together at the edge of the water, Ranna gently running her fingers through Helen's ponytail, teasing the knots out as Helen removed her weapons and left them in a careless pile beside her.

The smell of blood and the tinge of fire from the explosions were slowly fading and Helen tilted her head back, closing her eyes against the artificial night above her.

Ranna's hand stilled at the nape of her neck and Helen leaned into it.

She had no idea how long they stayed there, just sitting on the edge of the water, the shakiness in Helen's body ebbing away to leave her feeling exhausted and almost numb.

Her mind was tracing back through everything that had reached completion and everything they were heading towards now.

"They'll find the way home."

Helen opened her eyes and looked at Ranna, vulnerability sliding in to nudge the shock and shakiness away.

"Do you truly think so?"

She hadn't even had time to address the fear that they wouldn't. That they wouldn't understand, that they would resent her so much they would throw her clues away and continue the lives they had on the surface. That she had sacrificed more than her home for this.

Ranna squeezed her neck gently and let go.

"I know they will."

The words were enough to make her want to cry, the tipping point of the last few weeks. The tipping point of the last eleven decades.

"And I reserve the right to be present when they do. Your vampire and I need to have a few words."

Helen laughed, which saved her from crying, leaning forward and kissing Ranna again.

This time, it wasn't harsh. It was still full of the emotions, but it was long and lingering, an exchange rather than a clash.

This time, Helen held on and didn't let go.

[antagoniz]

@2serpents / from here. → go on. i’m dead anyway. i always was, right? i didn’t know that until now.

the jungle presses on peter like a second living thing. it felt as though two thick, oppressive arms had looped around his neck like a hangman's noose except instead of drawing him up, it weighted him towards the ground. the grass was his grave; a soft bed that would indeed fetch no visit, nor raise a stone to mark his falling, only a place to rest his weary head until the cannon boomed, by which time he would've succumbed to some eternal slumber. was dying not to sleep? his body had began to spit out the rot as it detoxed from the capitol's nostrums; pleading for faux sustenance. peter had pinned her beneath him, a knee at either side of her, her hair tossed across the pillow of stalks and leaves. octavia's eyes didn't plead; they challenged. go on. i'm dead anyway. the words resonated deeper than they should have, more than they ever had. the games were as described, a conquest without winners. it didn't matter who he had to cut down to achieve his own means. peter had killed for less provocation sticking a knife in the eye of his first real competitor and twisting until he was no longer a threat to own prowess spotlit by the mere flicker of camp-light and far-off television screens. but in truth, his first victim paled in comparison. he should've relished in the moment. the knife trembled. this was what they wanted, wasn't it? the capitol, the sponsors. their snake in the grass, slithering through the arena and picking off the tributes one by one. the grip on his titular part was waning, fraying like the hem of his blood-soaked shirt. 5-1 odds, practically unheard of. and yet, octavia's stare was pinning him harder than his weight ever could. she bore a face without fear, dead long before his blade kissed her neck. and as peter stared back, the paler her skin appeared. the more hollow. the more resigned.

“i said, shut up.”  peter hisses through gritted teeth, ever so serpentine but even to his own ears, seemed to lack it's usual venom. he despised her in that moment, more than he ever had before. despised her for noticing feeling the tremble in his fist. hated himself more for being met with his own failings. the withdrawals were getting worse, his body craving the morphling the capitol had supplied to abate his defiant nature, to make him malleable beneath their ministrations. he'd have done anything to remain relevant in their makeshift society, and they knew so. they merely given him something to ease his mind in the meantime. he wanted to kill her. it was the right move the smart move. he would be one more body closer to being home, to being loved. to being desired. to surviving their next game and returning that larger-than-life character, destined to live out his days in a manner that the capitol demanded, all by proving his worth a second time over. but somehow, here, watching her chest rise and fall beneath him, it was becoming increasingly hard to breathe. he couldn't go back, could he? to all that misery? his mind drifted to the boy peter was before. before every handshake and painted-on smile. before every hollow laugh he had honed like a weapon, his aura suddenly an essential tool. had he ever really been any different? his stomach churned. he couldn't tell who he hated more. peter casts the knife to her left, and it lands on the cold earth with a soft thunk. no words come as he pushes himself off of her with a heavy reluctance, nor as he puts himself at her right side, two hands threading through knotted curls as though peter could tear the weakness out from his skull. he doesn't look at her can't look at her, for fear of the expression on her face, whether it bore shock or confusion. or worse of all, understanding. he's going to die here. he's leaving her the knife.

[funnuraba]

1919: a portrait of changing times. In The Coming of Bill, Wodehouse satirized the subject of eugenics. In this scene, a debutante's brother confronts her about her failure to marry, and is disturbed by her talk of choosing a husband based on their aunt's eugenic theories--not because he's against the principle of "improving the race", but because of the idea of women talking about theoretical future children. It's sometimes hard to tell in Wodehouse's work whether these scenes reflect reality or his own Victorian sensibilities, but generally he's pretty sympathetic to the younger set and their new mores, even if he doesn't want to talk about sex personally. The downside of the whole thing is that he's clearly not skewering the characters' fixation in the white race, either. He simply finds all the skull-measuring silly, and disagrees with the accompanying sterile views on child-reading. Boys, he feels, should be hugged by their parents, and they should be out scrapping with other boys and playing in the dirt, never mind all that sissy stuff about keeping clean and maintaining ideal temperatures. This would come off as pretty sound if he hadn't been ridiculing the idea of sanitizing things in the middle of the Spanish flu pandemic!

Some reviewers call this a dull piece, but I found it very interesting simply because his later work so thoroughly avoided serious topics. You can also see a rare attempt to step into the shoes of a father during the birth of first child--a son, no less. This is something that never happened to Wodehouse himself, and the vast majority of parent-child relationships in his work are a father and adult daughter or step-daughter, from which he could draw from his own life. The characters are his usual archetypes, with little to distinguish them except for being in a more serious story. Mrs Porter is his typical formidable aunt; Kirk his typical hero with a mild but not overwhelming sense of humor; Steve his typical "Say! 'D'jever see the like of this gink!" American roughneck. Bill is very unusual for Wodehouse as a wholesome, positively presented young boy, but since he's four, there's not a great deal to him either.

I did perceive the hint of something deeper in Kirk's frustration with his wife's new habit of going out to society dinner parties that he finds dull and pointless. This is ripped from Wodehouse's real life, with his wife Ethel being the one who enjoyed socializing, while he preferred to stay home and focus on his only real interests: sports, writing, and their Pekingese dogs. Probably he was channeling some of his own pet peeves when Kirk announces that he was perfectly happy living as a hermit, with the three of them--husband, wife and baby--seeing no one at all outside of their own little unit. However, the couple's windfall and fancy new house wouldn't be reflected in Wodehouse's real life for another year or so. It's unlikely that he's accusing Ethel of getting sick of her child, as Kirk does to Ruth.

In The Coming of Bill, as with many of his romances where the female partner dominates the male, there's an uneasiness to the whole thing. Very rarely is it entirely acceptable for matters to proceed as they are; the woman makes use of her power to mistreat the man, sometimes interfering in the life of their child and forbidding them to marry. The man must rise up and assume his proper role, even if only once, in order for the story to have its happy ending. The older married men tend to rebel in little ways, sneaking away from a big party to go to a baseball game (Brother Fans), or sneaking money to their beloved stepdaughter by stealing their wife's property (Leave it to Psmith). The younger men are more free to reverse the dynamic and make it clear that they're done being bossed around forever.

And still it's treated as a truism in his stories that married men automatically roll over for their wives. Wodehouse clearly preferred to let his wife take the lead socially, but he wasn't fully comfortable letting his male characters do the same and be happy with it. The young men in particular have to fit the hero model by the end of the story.

[antvnger]

Blood Brothers AU - The Oreo Throwdown of 2023

((Oh no...not the last cookie @loki-notazombie LOL! Those poor cookies, especially Oreos. The Stark boys have been fighting over Oreos since Scott was like two years old and learned he liked Oreos too. It's one of the few things they actually fight over.

Now, it's not exactly a "fight" per se, but it is a challenge, getting that last cookie. There's bragging rights involved, you know? And these boys love their bragging rights.

As children, the issue with their last cookie fight was the grownups, especially Momma Stark and Jarvis. Why tussle over one cookie? Especially since they predict said cookie would just end up as crumbs on the floor and neither boy got it?

But it was the ultimate game of keep-away they could play, and the rewards were worth the game. There was never any real hard feelings either. Just a few smirks and snickers and some "I win, Stark" and "Just wait til next time, Stark" kind of things.

Have you ever seen that "fight" from Kung Fu Panda between Po and Shifu over that last dumpling? Well imagine that but less finesse and a cookie. Ultimate keep-away.

As adults though...

You have to understand some things. Adult life has been hard on these boys. They both have gone through a lot, and as Starks, they're expected to behave a certain way. They're in the spotlight what feels like constantly, and there's so few things that feels like solely theirs, completely separate from the eyes of the public.

And there's so few things that remind them of better times, back when they were kids. When they still had Mom and Dad and Jarvis and their nanny who all loved them and felt like even with the weirdness of the paparazzi and the public, things were still okay because they had love and family to go home to. Simpler times when the strife adulthood brought on too soon didn't touch them yet.

With that being said, anything that reminds them of childhood, they're more than likely going to jump into it. And they don't do anything half-assed either.

Besides their families, no one knows this better than the remaining Avengers at the compound during the whole Time Heist thing.

It's what they call The Oreo Throwdown of 2023.

There was a time when Tony and Scott got into it for a very brief moment over a last Oreo, but Natasha swooped in and saved the day with an unopened package of Oreos and a deadpan "You're actual children" remark, but The Oreo Throwdown of 2023 snowballed into this big thing.

There is no other package in the cabinet to save the boys from what's coming. No one else dared to get in the middle of wanting the last Oreo for themselves. And when Tony activated his suit with the biggest smirk you ever saw, challenging his little brother for the last Oreo "You want that Oreo, you're gonna have to go through me, Tiny Tim," no one didn't know what to do. And when Scott changed into his suit faster than humanly possible and declared "Challenge accepted, Tin Man," something interesting happened.

Have you ever worked so hard and so long on something that you practically welcome literally anything to draw your attention for a break? Well, the remaining Avengers got exactly that in this moment.

They've been working on the Time Heist nonstop for days. They needed a mental break, and if this was how it was going to happen, then so be it. Scott was good at providing mental and physical breaks for everybody, including a 5 hour long game of Uno, but this was something else entirely.

Therefore, nobody really wanted to go to the nearest store to get a package of Oreos because this looked too...intriguing to stop it.

The challenge was quickly moved to the training arena, where the rest of the Avengers sat on one side or the other, depending on which brother they thought would win, and believe it or not, it was a pretty even split except for Rhodey who sat in the middle and said he knew better than to choose between the brothers.

(And before you ask, I headcanon in this AU and in canonverse that Scott had a plethora of Pym particles stored in his suit, but for the Quantum suits, he only had the few vials. And pulling from the suit to fill up more vials was a tricky process, so he just stuck with what they had unless absolutely necessary.)

Scott ran into trouble before they even started he realized he couldn't pull the same stunt he did back in Germany. It's a lot harder to hack nanotech like that. The only way, he surmised, was to slip into the arc reactor and take that out from the inside if he wanted to go that route. (Which happens to be where they got the idea for that part of the Time Heist). That or he got grow giant and grab Tony like an action figure.

Tony knew catching his little brother would be tricky considering all the tricks Scott had up his sleeve, but Tony had a few tricks up his sleeve as well. He learned a thing or two from Germany, and he believed himself to be better prepared for any tiny or giant surprises.

Bets were made, cheers were made up, trash talk ensued from the sidelines, and two smug boys went head to head in the greatest fight over the last cookie of their lives...to date.

I could write a book over the fight, and honestly it probably would be worth writing some time because it's a bit comical.

But the important thing to note that when having a captive audience turned the keep-away into a throwdown, there was one very important aspect that was ironically overlooked in the excitement. No one was guarding the cookie. Therefore, while all this was going on, someone else ate the cookie, and the victor did not get his spoils. It was Bruce. To be fair, he didn't know about the throwdown challenge; he was taking a power nap. It takes a lot to be Professor Hulk, ya know.

Scott laughed his head off when they realized the cookie had already been eaten, and Tony smirked, chuckled, and rolled his eyes as his response. Then he declared he and Scott would go to the store and get groceries to stock up the Avengers' kitchen.

Including quite a few packages of cookies.))

[lycorisblooms]

You play STUPID games, you win STUPID prizes

A Ka.veh (h.s.r verse) character study

His life purpose began when the smartest of them all cast his gaze upon him.

From the time that the artisan was young, he was exposed to art. Whether it was the beautiful sleekness of starskiffs, paint, watercolors, or fast speed. The little blond boy knew nothing but art and love.

Perhaps that should have been the time that his mother should have taught his heart some hardness. Perhaps he would have not latched onto the thought of abandonment so easily. Perhaps the death of his father was the catalyst.

They said it was an accident. He was a fleet pilot, and one of the best. He still remembers the General coming to pay his condolences, a young boy who didn't understand that his papa wasn't COMING BACK.

[ He purposely ignores the elite, he has for years. Even with the general's invitations for tea over his most prized work, it falls ignored despite the kindness that he gives to everyone. It's still too painful. ]

It's only when he joins the commission that his mother leaves. He comes home, excited to tell her about his acceptance over his designs to find that the home is empty. His mother at least leaves a note, tells him she's sorry.

How could he blame her? Despite the hot tears trailing down his face, staining the paper, how could he hate her? But it's the first time he feels alone.

He's a young man when he's first recognized for his work. Beautiful starskiffs flying across the sky, everyone wants to know who the designer is. Rich colors, fantastic spiraling swirls. He's practically known over the Xianzhou. Yet, it feels as though it isn't enough. True abandonment comes when he hears through the grapevine that his mother remarried. Another arrow in the chest.

He had always been likened to a bird of paradise, the flamboyant colors and garish personality that exuded from him blended with the true and loyal kindness that the artisan gave. And perhaps, it's what caused him to go on a bit of a spree of indulgence after finding that out.

Three weeks. Three weeks of working and in between, pleasures. Drinking to his heart's content, waking up in a different bed every night. No one called back, but it was a comfort to feel like he wasn't alone. One hundred and fifty years later, and he hadn't done anything his younger self might have done.

He has a roommate, his life is back on the path of a star studded designer. Everything should have been fine. Everything should have been exactly how it should have been. Except it wasn't the moment a blue-haired merchant slid up to him.

He's a bit wine drunk, babbling on about his "stupid roommate", and the man listens to every word and even buys him another round. It wasn't a normal day, either. The anniversary of his father's death was the only time he allowed himself the draw of drunkenness. He considered it the day everything changed.

Like his roommate said: You play stupid games, and you win stupid prizes.

It did not take him long to fall headfirst. Rendevous that ended in passionate embraces, long stays, drinking. He knows that he wants more than this, but knows that the other man does not.

And he should know not to try and tame something that doesn't want to be tamed.

He thought it was enough. Even if he didn't feel the same, just being there was enough. Having him there was enough and he could keep his feelings to himself. And where was he now?

Staring at the light of the sky, the pinpricks that he's sure are real stars somewhere. He's done all the crying he can muster, the feeling of loneliness like a cold void in his chest.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

He has never begged for anything in his life, but he wished he could have.

But it's fine, He tells himself. If I made him happy for a moment, it's enough.

[pbandjesse]

So I came home. I wasn't planning on coming home. But honestly I'm glad I did because I did not feel good today and my neck hurt and I was just kind of having a bad time. Not that it was a bad day but body wise no good.

I didn't sleep terribly last night, falling asleep was hard, and waking up was worse. I woke up because it was raining and then it was loud and then I wanted James to hold me but my neck was in a weird position on the pillow and I was too tired of fix it and that ended up hurting me all day. Like I couldn't bend my neck very much in either direction without it just really hurting but I think I finally worked that pain out but I was dealing with that literally all day.

And honestly I just felt very unwell in general. Enough that James said when I got to camp I should go talk to the nurse. I didn't have a fever or anything I just had radiating pain kind of in my arms and legs coming from my stomach. I would almost describe them as like cramps but they weren't cramps. It was like waves of bad feelings. Hard to describe.

But I would get up and I will get dressed and things would be okay except for I didn't feel good. I packed some food and made a lemonade and hugged on James because they were going on their very long bike ride today. And I just wanted them to be safe. But they were biking all the way to Philadelphia and that's so far! But thankfully Lane was going to act as kind of a relief driver and I knew that she would keep them safe.

So I left the house in the rain and I drove to camp and it was honestly pretty scary at times because it was really really strong rain. But I made it to camp a little after 8:00 because of an accident off the highway. And the rain was gone by the time I got there. So that was good.

And then I just got to work putting things away and getting set up. I had brought a bunch of paint from home because we have no yellow or blue or white that I've now discovered. But I was able to just kind of get myself together and then I walked down to the nurse.

Nurse Becky is very sweet and she had me sit down and she took my temperature even though I didn't eat it. And a little boy that was in there was like why is the art teacher here?? And it was very sweet. And I told her that I think it's from my IUD and she said that she's a pediatric nurse so she doesn't exactly know but she says that my assumption sounds correct and that if I'm supposed to get my IUD out soon it could be a hormonal thing. Makes sense to me. She said she didn't really know what to give me and I said I don't really want to take anything I just mostly wanted someone to know. In case I fall over later. And she said please don't fall over.

I went back up to arts and crafts and I ate my breakfast and that helped me feel a lot better. I let myself have two sodas today. And I think the caffeine helped. I've kind of been on a anti-soda kick. Not that I haven't been drinking soda But it's turned into much more occasionally than constantly. Like last year I was going through a case of soda a week and now this year I had the same four cases the entire time and they're not empty at all. And really I've just been wanting to drink lemonade and that's it. But the caffeine helped for sure.

Tyler came over to borrow materials and we talked for a while. I told him about how we're going to Uganda now and how I'm nervous but he said it sounds incredible. And I just got ready for the day. And it would be a really good day. I miss Tatiana but it was nice to be alone. Love being alone.

I was nervous about this project because it has two parts. But so far today the overnight kids are doing amazing. Day Camp is mixed but everyone really likes the drawing game and I'm really excited about that. The rock painting part is a little I think two amorphous for some of them. And I'm going to try to do better about explaining. But I think that the drawing game, exquisite corpse, is really going to take off at camp and I hope that they use it in their toolbox as counselors too.

like I said though my first two groups did such a good job and they made really cool rock pieces. And then it was lunch time. And I had brought food so I didn't have to go anywhere and I decided that I would take a little walk and collect rocks and eat my pizza and my salad and it was just really nice. I read my book a little bit but I felt a little distractible. And I kept getting up and sitting down and doing stuff and putting things away and then I went through my clothes and I picked out everything I hadn't worn this summer to bring home. And it wasn't bad at all it was just not as restful as I might have wanted.

My daycamp group after lunch did okay. They struggled but they enjoyed the drawing games and they were fun. And then we had some time outside and hammock time once the hammocks weren't too damp. And then I had my half hour break.

because I'm alone this week I was able to have my clothes the door turn off all the lights and sit in my hammock time. Which was excellent and made me feel so much better. Annabelle ended up knocking on the door a couple minutes before the end of the break because she was having a hard time and needed some materials and also just need the vent for a second and I was glad I could be that year for her. I hate that she's struggling with people not being helpful and honestly if Tatiana comes back I might suggest she goes and helps Annabella bit. Because I think she might need it more than I need it for this project. I hope Tatiana comes back or I hope another YLP wants to help out at a program like that because it really can be invaluable to have someone like that.

My bontkirchen group was great. Eva was so excited when I said that we were doing metal casting and hers came out really good! She wanted to make a bubble letter e in her first one was too sharp so we melted it back down and she carved it more in the second one came out great and she really enjoyed filing with my very expensive file from when I took jewelry classes. And I enjoyed talking to the girls and a bunch of them made really interesting pieces and it was a lot of fun. And we honestly didn't use that much metal in the end. A few of their pieces were too thin and so we just would melt them back down but I had a blast and I hope they did too. Because it really seemed like everyone was having a great time. They really didn't want to leave and I had to kind of kick them out at the end.

Because I had my last day camp group and it was Day Camp 10 which I had high expectations for but they struggled a little. They did grade with the drawing game but their rock paintings were mostly just fine. The girls that were doing it this morning were like actually drawing faces and parts and the day campers were kind of just slapping paint on the rocks and being like I'm finished I'm like I don't think you really did the spirit of the project so much. And that was not to say that everyone did that but more than I wanted to and that kind of made me annoyed. It's fine. Doesn't actually matter. The way I'm going to be framing the rock painting is an optional part of the project because I can't collect as many rocks as we would really need and having them go out and find rocks takes a little bit more time than I would like So it's kind of going to be a mix between like the drawing game and then now that we finished the drawing game let's do this painting and if they really like the drawing game maybe doing a second round of it. So we'll see what happens. I'm really glad that I got to introduce this game to them though because it's one of my favorites.

Once the kids were done they helped me clean the trays off that I had used for paint today. Which worked much better than I thought it was going to. It's always a struggle to make sure that nobody's wasting buckets of paint when they only need dots. And so I had the first group put paint on trays and then throughout the day we just used that same paint over and over and over again. So at the end of the day we didn't have a ton to wash off and we weren't wasting much. I will try again tomorrow and see if it continues to work. It did take a while for the kids to clean off the trays and they ended up only doing some of it so I had to spend a few minutes finishing it. But I didn't mind. It was nice to have a task.

But I still felt pretty unwell in my neck hurt really bad and I just wanted to go home. James had only gotten to Philly a little while before I was done for the day and they threw up apparently and I was not thrilled about that but I was glad that Lane was there for them and making sure that they were getting hydrated and getting somewhere safe. Specifically their friend's house. I think they're at Dante's house but I'm not positive.

I put a poll in the group chat asking if I should go home and Yes got two votes and no got one vote. Celia was the one that voted no and she only voted no because she wanted to show me a picture of a frog before I went home. Which was fair. I walked over to the office to see if they needed me for anything tonight and CJ was there so I sat with her and accidentally knocked over a whole bunch of tambourines which was very comedic. Just causing a commotion. And we talked for a few minutes and then she said that Celia wanted to show me a picture of a frog. I had left my phone up in the arts building so I said goodbye and told everyone I was going home and went back up there.

And honestly pretty solid frog. It was super tiny. She also found one that only had one eyeball. And that was neat. And I showed her the mushrooms that I had taken pictures of earlier in the day. After my second program I had gone to go fine two mushrooms specifically that Chris had told me he had seen. It was very nice of him when he came up halfway through the morning to let me know about them because I had not gotten to go on my mushroom walk this morning. And they were some excellent mushrooms. I found three in all. Two from him and one that I found on my own. The two that he saw were very bright and it was very cool. I sent him the pictures as well.

And then it was time for me to go home. I got my stuff together and I ate my second piece of pizza while I was driving. And it was honestly a pretty easy ride for leaving that late. Usually I would hit traffic if I left at 5:00 but I guess I lucked out. And I got back here pretty quickly. And as I was driving through the neighborhood I saw someone putting a table tray in the trash and I was like I'm going to go get that table tray. So once I parked and brought everything upstairs I immediately headed back out to go find it. And at first I thought that someone had beat me to it but I found it around the corner and I was very excited. I took it home and cleaned it up. On my walk back lots of people were smiling at me and that was nice. And I was just in a really good mood and while my neck hurt I knew that I had made the right choice coming home and I was just feeling really happy inside. Even though I was missing James and worried about them being dehydrated from their ride and throwing up. I was feeling good.

I think the trash got left open or something because it smelled horrible in our entryway so I lit a candle and cleaned a little bit. I cleaned the table tray that I got from the trash and put some other stuff away. And then I got to work on my evening project. Which was attempting to put all of the clothes I own Sam's bottoms and sweatshirts and sweaters, onto hangers to look at all of it and decide if I can get rid of anything. This did not work as well as I was hoping because it turns out I did not have enough hangers. But it was still fun to kind of go through stuff and I refolded everything in my storage box and there wasn't anything that I was like I don't really wear this I should get rid of it. So I felt like I'm at a pretty good place with my wardrobe which feels nice. I miss a lot of my fall and winter clothes though so I'm excited for those seasons but I'm going to try to enjoy the clothing options I have right now. And I redid the closet a little bit. I took all the shirts out of the box I was keeping them in because I felt like I was never utilizing because I can't see them. And I put that box in the studio for now and then I put all the shirts in my hanging box thing shelf thing. I don't know what to call it. And I think it's going to be a better system for a while. I hope someday I have a bigger closet again. I've had walk-in closets twice in my life and it's been excellent both times and I really hope that I can have a walk-in closet again.

Once I put everything away and made the space clean again I took a bath and that was really nice. I did the dishes and I went through our cabinet and chose plates that I thought we could get rid of. We have a whole set of plates that I have no idea where they came from. And I don't think we've ever used them. They're nice but we have too many plates! We're only two people. We don't need like 40 plates. That's exaggerating it's probably like 25 but still.

And I've just been hanging out since then. I had chicken nuggets for dinner. I watched videos. I hung out with sweetp. I continuously checked up on James because I was worried about them. Lane sent me a couple pictures letting me know that James was okay. And I've been just chilling. I had ice cream at one point. I checked on my aquatic friends. I painted my toenails. It was just a really excellent afternoon and evening. I'm hoping that it fixes me.

I used to this neck stretcher thing and it really did help my neck pain. I iced my neck first and then I used the stretcher thing and I wish it pushed my shoulders down a little bit more because I can definitely feel how tense they are but it helped the stiffness. So I think I'll be able to sleep a little easier.

And then I'll be going back to camp in the morning. Me and James were supposed to go see a movie tomorrow night. Specifically the Barbie movie. But I don't know if we're going to be able to do that if they're not feeling well still. So we'll see what happens But I am hopeful that it will be a very nice day. I hope that my groups are sweet and I hope that we just have a lot of fun.

I hope that you all sleep great tonight. I hope you take care of each other. I hope you're staying hydrated. Watch out for bikers. Good night everybody.

[howaboutcastiel-personal]

Jan 26, 2025. 12:43 p.m. Sunday

I am getting through the episode but I want to die a lot today. And I haven’t eaten and don’t want to eat and Pico won’t stop barking but I can’t let him outside and I’m too tired to walk him again.

The scale said 191 but then it said 194 and honestly I don’t know how much I weigh anymore but I’m so sick and tired of feeling fat. And I haven’t wanted food but then that’s a lie I always want food because I’m a fat fuck. I want to go to bed and be asleep but I don’t want to dream.

I’m just angry. At Jeanna and Pat and Keith Huss and mom and dad and Ethan and Mimi and papaw. And Trump. And Vance. I just can’t stop being mad and my chest hurts and I accidentally started a stupid fucking fire and I know it’s my fault even though it was an accident and I’m just so ready to die. Like what if the fire was the thing that made me decide to die you know.

Mom and dad are so damn frustrated and of course they are. I can’t blame them. So am I and I’m the lazy one. I don’t even have to do anything hard. I don’t want to do ANYTHING. I don’t want to eat or sleep or be awake or shower. Why would I want to work or cook or clean or drive I don’t even want to write or draw or watch TV or play stupid little games. And I’m so goddamn tired I can’t stand it. I can’t stay awake and I feel guilty but why would I be awake I’m so useless anyway.

I know I need to eat right now. I always feel bad because I’m hungry but. I don’t want food. I don’t want to be awake. I don’t want to deal with the dog even though I love him and I know he’s upset. I just don’t know how to help him except drive him home but then Mimi doesn’t want to see us anyway.

I screwed everyone and I fuck d up everything with that stupid house fire. I didn’t do anything I wouldn’t normally do but this time I set the kitchen on fire and now I fucked it all up and mom and dad don’t know how to be adults either and mom is too busy and I’m useless and lazy and I hate it.

And I hated my new therapist and I want to just die but what’s the point of even dying? What’s the point of giving them something else to grieve and letting them all win because I’ll be immortalized as the crazy useless one who killed itself. The failure forever and I’ll never be able to fix it. Nothing makes sense and nothing sparks joy and I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s all so stupid and I’m taking up space and I don’t want to anymore. I need to get out of everyone’s way and I guess find someone else who will actually love Pico because they say he’s taking up space too. I’m not the owner he deserves but then neither are they and everyone is broke.