#i want to fix this. i do. i don't wanna live in a hole anymore as fantastic mr fox would say. but the horrors persist

[lxnarphase]

━━ ❝ come and put your name on it ❞

special treatment : lap edition

☾₊‧⁺...ft. : gojo satoru + geto suguru + nanami kento + fushiguro toji + hakari kinji

☾₊‧⁺...cw : cockwarming, somnophilia, dirty talk, grinding + dry humping, fingerfucking, overstimulation, praise kink, edging, oral fixation, satoru's silly pet names, suguru being smug, kento being a desperate man, toji being toji, kinji being a bully

✧ g. satoru : sometimes gojo knows he fucks you too good to the point you can't think after, something he brags about to you all the time. but when you snuggle up to him, still stuffed with his cock and warm with his cum, he can't help but run his hands all over you. and when he realizes you fell asleep on his dick, his heart squeezes and his cock throbs hard.

"pretty angel, did you fall asleep? oh, that's just precious...you're making my heart squeeze, i wish i had my phone, you look so cute like this." "did you say my name? dreaming about me? god, you're so precious, i could just fuck you like this...shit, don't fuckin' squeeze on me like that, are you having a wet dream right now? god, i love you so fucking much." "aww, my little mochi is so cute! look at youuu, you're gushin' all over the place. messy fucking pussy too small to keep my cock and all my cum inside you." "mm, fuck, pretty thing. you wakin' up? hi pretty girl...oooh, fuck, d-did you just cum? holy fuck, c'mon, baby, on your back, lemme fuck you, princess, let 'toru make you cum again, yeah?”

✧ g. suguru : suguru's softly cooing at you when you sleepily walk into the living room, whining to him that you had a dream and you wanted him to 'fix the problem he caused.' all he can do is just chuckle at how childish and bratty you can be as his hands are moving up and down your sides while he grinds up into you.

"you're such a brat, you know that right? always blaming me for your dreams. it's not my fault you can't stop thinking about how good i fuck you." "hmm? ooh, i see...you keep having dreams of me cumming inside you, hm? are you trying to say something, princess? d'you want me to start breeding you?" "i didn't say stop moving, did i? or do you need me to do all the work? heh, so spoiled, i've spoiled you absolutely rotten." "i know, but just cum once like this, won't you? if you do, i promise i'll fill your cute pussy with my cum, okay? mhm, promise, princess, i'll give you what you need."

✧ n. kento : nanami loves having you close to him, especially when you sit in his lap. it lets him nuzzle his nose into your neck, pressing little kisses where he can while your legs are spread over his strong thighs, his thick fingers leisurely pumping in and out of your needy hole, chuckling against your skin whenever you jolt.

"honey, have i mentioned how gorgeous you are? you look so beautiful like this...spread open and wanting, just for me." "you're sucking my fingers in so well. look at that...do you think you can take a third?" "it's so messy. look at what you've done to my fingers, honey, they're soaked. clean them off for me, i want you to taste yourself before i put them back in. maybe tonight we can make you squirt, hm? do you wanna try, darling?" "you think you're going to cum again? poor thing, your little cunt is so greedy, she just wants to cum over and over again on my fingers...is my cock not good enough for you, mm? aww, don't pout, i'm just teasing you, darling." "i know, i know, it's too much, but you can take it. be my good girl, just take it and keep cumming until you can't anymore."

✧ f. toji : sitting on toji's lap is, in his mind, an invitation for him to run his hands all over you. his cock is already hard in his sweats, but he's subdued the second you get comfortable and slowly grind against him, groaning when you press sweet kisses into his neck.

"tch, are you gonna let me fuck your thighs t'night? pretty please? yeah, that's right, i'm askin' nicely. why? don't play stupid, doll, you know what they do to me." "shit...keep moving those hips, sweetheart, you feel so fuckin' good like this." "god, i can feel that pretty pussy leaking through my sweats. big bad toji make you that fuckin' wet, mama? y'like grinding that clit on my dick through my pants? dirty fucking girl." "mmh, you keep tugging my hair like that and I'm not even gonna take you to the bedroom, i will fuck you into this damn couch, woman.” "listen here, wifey, I'll wreck your cunt until you can't think about anything but me inside you. hell, I'll ruin this stupid couch in the process, i don't give a fuck about stainin' it."

✧ h. kinji : when you sit on kinji's lap, it's when he's watching a fight on tv. you can tell it's not going how he wants it to go, the toothpick between his teeth being gnawed on. when you make eye contact with him, he just raises an eyebrow, one of his hands squeezing your hip.

"cupcake, do me a favor and get on my dick before i get up and give us a reason to get a new tv." "hey, hey, don't move yet, let me see if he lands this punch...don't whine like that before i put my fingers in that pretty little mouth t' shut you up." "you always squeeze so tight when i press down on your tongue like this...pretty thing likes that shit, doesn't she? go on, fuck yourself on my dick while you drool all on my fingers like a slut." "mm, shit, baby, i can't focus on that bullshit fight, lemme help you. yeah, thaaaat's it, let your boy fuck you nice and deep, make ya cream, juuuust like this."

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work

[steddieas-shegoes]

no more waiting

for @steddielovemonth day four prompt ‘love is being willing to wait for them’

a fix-it for these: steve pov | eddie pov  

rated m | 1,094 words | cw: post breakup, implied sexual content | tags: getting back together, angst with a happy ending, mutual pining

🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶

Steve should’ve called him Tuesday when the news broke.

And then he should’ve called him Wednesday when he ran into Wayne at the store and he said Eddie was coming home for a bit.

By the time Thursday afternoon came around, he didn’t need to call him. He was standing at Steve’s front door.

“Eddie.”

“Steve.”

It was stilted, more awkward than they’d ever been, even when they “broke up.”

“You just get into town?” Steve asked as if he didn’t know.

“Yeah,” Eddie answered as if he didn’t already find out that Wayne had told Steve his exact travel plans.

“You wanna come in?” Steve asked like he’d die if Eddie said no.

“Yeah, please.” Eddie replied, just short of begging.

Eddie knew where to go, knew how to act like this was his home just like he had for nearly a year before leaving. Before Steve insisted he leave.

He settled on the couch, leaving room for Steve to sit close, but not touching.

Touching would be too much, too painful.

“You saw?” He finally asked, picking at the hole in his jeans.

“Yeah.” Steve reached over to pull Eddie’s fingers away from the string hanging off his pants. He didn’t let go as he spoke. “I’m proud of you.”

Eddie’s eyes bounced between his own, searching for the hint of a lie, jealousy, anything that might give him an excuse to stay away. But as he expected, as he hoped, none of that was in Steve’s eyes.

“It doesn’t mean shit to me,” Eddie admitted.

Steve’s brows furrowed in confusion, his body tensing at the unexpected hostility in Eddie’s tone.

“None of it means a fucking thing to me without you.”

“Eds-“

“I know what we said, I know. But I can’t do it anymore. The first person I wanted to call was you. The first thing I wanted to do was fuck you into the mattress of my bunk on the bus. There’s no world where I can be a rock star without you standing there with me.” Eddie looked down at their joined hands. “I don’t care what it means for me. I don’t care what it means for the band. I don’t care if I have to give it all up tomorrow. I just want you.”

"I won't let you give it up, not now. You finally made it, Eds," Steve pulled one hand away to wipe at his eyes, equal parts happy to hear that Eddie still wanted him and sad that he couldn't have him. "I can't let you live to regret me. I couldn't wake up one day knowing that you blame me for keeping you back."

"Then come with me! Don't keep me back!" Eddie was crying as much as Steve, eyes red like he'd already been crying before he got to Steve's house. "You're keeping yourself back. What are you gonna do when the kids go? They don't wanna stay here, so they'll spread out and you'll still be here. You'll have wasted years being here for them. What about being there for you? What about letting them be there for each other and calling them up once in a while like I do? Like Robin and Nancy do? You don't owe anyone here anything, especially not if it costs you your happiness."

Steve had heard it all before from everyone, even Dustin, even Hopper, but it never really sunk in. It wasn't really now, either, but he was at least trying to think through it.

It made sense, but it always had made sense. It's just that what made the most sense was being here for the people who needed him.

"Do you really think those kids would be upset if you tried to be happy? Do you think they would rather you stay here and be miserable?"

"No." That answer was easy. The kids would never want him to be miserable. Nobody in their group would.

"Then be happy, Stevie. Be happy with me. I'd do anything to keep you happy," Eddie begged, lifting his hands to kiss his knuckles. "I want you to do this with me. I wanna sing to you every night, sweetheart."

"What if you get tired of singing to me every night?"

Eddie shook his head, smiling fondly at the man in front of him. "I can't imagine a life where I'd ever get tired of seeing the way your cheeks turn pink and you get that goofy smile on your face when I look at you from the stage. But if it did, then you can come right back here or go to Robin or anyone, because everyone loves you and wants the best for you."

Steve knew that, always had known that deep down.

"So the guys are just cool with me tagging along?"

"The guys will be thrilled to not have me pouting 22 hours of the day. They'll welcome you with open arms."

Now was when they could seal it with a kiss, maybe even let themselves get carried away, strip off their clothes, hurry through months of yearning in a few minutes. They could take it to the bedroom, or the shower, or the floor if they wanted to risk a sore back. They could leave marks that would take days to fade, and laugh about the way Eddie always, always makes the same whimpering noise when he gets inside Steve. They could, but they don't.

Steve leans his head against Eddie's shoulder and Eddie cups the back of his head, lets his fingers twist in his hair. They both let out a sob, recognition of how much they missed each other, how stupid they were for thinking being apart was better for either of them, finally sinking in.

"I'm sorry." Steve breathed against Eddie's neck, shaky and unsure.

"I'm sorry, too."

They stayed curled up on the couch together for hours, until Dustin showed up yelling about Steve not answering his phone. They hadn't even heard it ring, so wrapped up in their own bubble.

Eddie shooed him away, told him they'd be by to see him later, and surprisingly, Dustin left.

Only then did they manage to get up and go to Steve's bedroom, undressing as they went, lips never far from skin, as they got reacquainted with the taste and feel of each other.

Later ended up being the next morning, but luckily, Dustin didn't say a damn word when they both showed up at his door holding hands and beaming more at each other than at him.

[archangeldyke-all]

could you do another part of slow living with sev? Maybe this time reader is teaching sev how to garden and sev teaches her how to fix things? I think it’d be so cute!

LOVE THISWKFA:S

men and minors dni

sevika's got a scowl on her face, and dirt on her cheek where she kneels in the garden. one of your cats is playing in the grass beside her, trying to get her attention. she's too focused on the little packet of seeds to notice.

"so... i dump 'em in?" she asks. you smile and nod.

sevika grins, then tears the paper package open with her teeth, pouring all the seeds in the tiny, two inch round hole she'd just dug. you gasp.

"wait, sev!" you giggle, reaching out to grab her hand before the entire packet's gone. she pouts.

"what?"

"y' only need like two or three seeds per hole, baby." you laugh, kissing her cheek as you scoop a majority of the seeds back in the package. she groans.

"y' mean i gotta dig more?" she cries. you chuckle.

"you're the one who wanted to learn how to garden."

"i didn't know it was this time consuming! thought you just threw shit in the ground and let it grow." she pouts. you laugh, kissing her again, unable to resist yourself.

"you're so cute." you mumble against her lips. she huffs.

"quit laughin' at me."

"i'm not!" you lie. "it's just funny to me that you built our house with your own bare hands and yet-- putting seeds in dirt is too much for you."

sevika giggles.

"well-- you remember how you were tryin' to help me put the shingles on the roof..." she teases. you groan.

it hadn't been your best display of competence. any time you or sevika got too close to the ledge of the roof, you'd cringe and squawk. you're no good with a hammer either, breaking more of the shingles in half with it than nailing them down. the left corner of your roof is still a little... wonky.

sevika loves it.

"roofs are different from plants." you huff. she just giggles and nods.

"very different."

"so what. do you wanna give up or are you gonna spend the day out here with me?" you ask your wife. she shrugs.

"i'll stay out here. maybe straighten out your trellises for you." she says. "but i'm not getting anymore dirt under my fingernails."

you giggle. "where would you be without me?" you tease. "in a perfect house with no food."

"and where would you be without me?" sevika counters as she gets to her feet. "living in a beautiful garden." she says. you smirk.

"mine sounds better."

"until winter comes around."

you burst into laughter, then tug sevika down to kiss her one final time before she goes off to start doing more work.

"good thing i got you, then." you say. she grins.

"yeah, we make a pretty good pair, don't we?"

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub

[beanghostprincess]

how would you fix shuggy? or are they better off as exes in friendly terms? i feel like once buggy gets over his grudges and gets to laughtale he could forgive him pretty easily

OH-- This is actually a really fun question. See, the thing about Buggy and Shanks is that Buggy doesn't only hold grudges against him, but also feels inferior to him in a way that being next to him instantly makes him feel bad. Even if Shanks had chosen to go find the One Piece right away, I think the breakup would've happened anyway at some point. It is a personal journey Buggy has to face (similar to Usopp's because, well, they're very similar in a few things).

I think the only way they could fix it and go back together is by letting Buggy be confident about himself without actively caring about Shanks and seeing himself as an equal to him. And the first step for that is getting Cross Guild's respect and actually showing that he is capable of leadership and showing he is a real pirate. This is why I keep saying Crocodile and Mihawk should have this realization and make Buggy sort of know he doesn't have to live in Shanks' shadow anymore. Etc, etc, etc. Then they can go to Laugh Tale together and do whatever they want.

HOWEVER! We're talking in the context of a romantic relationship here and tbh Buggy has spent so many years being mad at Shanks I think he'd need a while to get used to being with him like old times? Or maybe they don't even have to. I think their relationship can be "fixed" without them dating again, tbh. That being said, I want them to get married and be happy so let's say what Buggy needs is just confidence and finding out why Shanks didn't wanna go for the One Piece right away and have a normal conversation with him instead of always falling into the miscommunication hole. Maybe what they need is to sit down and talk but they're,,, Stubborn. So good luck to them.

[faterpresources]

Sᴘɪᴅᴇʀ-Mᴀɴ : Aᴄʀᴏss ᴛʜᴇ Sᴘɪᴅᴇʀ-Vᴇʀsᴇ (2023) - Pᴀʀᴛ 2

A collection of random lines compiled from the Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) Feel free to change the pronouns in order to better suit the parts involved.

❝ Kid's an anarchist. ❞

❝ Oh, what the heck? ❞

❝ Wanna see pictures? ❞

❝ "Chai" means tea, bro! ❞

❝ You're saying "tea tea!" ❞

❝ Would I ask you for a "coffee coffee"? ❞

❝ Yeah, actually, stop talking. ❞

❝ I don't see anything, boss. ❞

❝ This guy/girl is killing me. ❞

❝ You're welcome. Shut up. ❞

❝ You never made a mistake? ❞

❝ Why don't you have 8 arms? ❞

❝ I don't believe in consistency. ❞

❝ Neither was I! I'm in the zone! ❞

❝ It's a metaphor for capitalism. ❞

❝ You disrupted a canon event. ❞

❝ Do you wanna hold my baby? ❞

❝ Oh, I thought you hated labels. ❞

❝ I told you he/she was a liability! ❞

❝ This is what I love about heists! ❞

❝ Can you not talk for a second? ❞

❝ Did you go see your little friend? ❞

❝ Wanna go easy on the penguin? ❞

❝ You're not supposed to be here! ❞

❝ Baby... you're really not helping. ❞

❝ I was gonna try and ignore you. ❞

❝ Yeah, and how did that work out? ❞

❝ Look, I know I messed up, okay?! ❞

❝ How many sweaters do you have? ❞

❝ Why does the horse need a mask? ❞

❝ I don't always like what I have to do. ❞

❝ Of course I'm right. I'm always right. ❞

❝ I've given up too much to stop now. ❞

❝ No, no, no! I did not mean it like that! ❞

❝ Oh, I'm very good at reading people. ❞

❝ That's a sports metaphor, by the way. ❞

❝ This romantic tension is so palpable! ❞

❝ You can't ask me not to save my ___. ❞

❝ Could this day get any damn weirder?! ❞

❝ How can you guys even concentrate? ❞

❝ Do you know how bad this is for you? ❞

❝ I'm coming up to get you! Here I come! ❞

❝ You weren't expecting that, were you? ❞

❝ I promise I will not let you down again. ❞

❝ I always taught you to do it by the book. ❞

❝ I'll do it, but not because you told me to. ❞

❝ I didn't know they made those for adults. ❞

❝ We are supposed to be the good guys. ❞

❝ Cuz I think it's gonna change our vibe. ❞

❝ Running is the least crazy thing going on! ❞

❝ What are you talking about? I'm helping- ❞

❝ He/She just wants to be taken seriously. ❞

❝ I have never seen him/her so emotional! ❞

❝ You blew another hole in the multiverse! ❞

❝ I know you know I've been lying to you.  ❞

❝ I had a nightmare about that once. But no! ❞

❝ Why do you wanna be a part of this stuff? ❞

❝ I don't follow orders. Neither does he/she. ❞

❝ I think maybe we got off on the wrong foot. ❞

❝ We all want to live the life we wish we had. ❞

❝ You gotta promise nothing's gonna change. ❞

❝ Look, he/she's just some villain of the week! ❞

❝ I'm not following what's happening right now. ❞

❝ Man, what does it look like I'm trying to do?! ❞

❝ You got an hour to fix this, or I can't help you. ❞

❝ Wait! You don't know what you're doing, man! ❞

❝ Actually, we need you here, for some reason. ❞

❝ Stop pretending you know what you're doing! ❞

❝ How much trouble could he/she get in tonight? ❞

❝ You realize how messed up that sounds, right? ❞

❝ And this is where the British stole all of our stuff! ❞

❝ Are you talking to him/her, or me? Or... him/her? ❞

❝ Bit of advice: use the palm, not just your fingers. ❞

❝ How many missions have you been on together? ❞

❝ What am I supposed to do? Just let him/her die?! ❞

❝ Taking a crap on the establishment. I salute you. ❞

❝ You're both equally terrible. Does that settle it? ❞

❝ I don't even know what the right thing is, anymore. ❞

❝ I'm not a role model. I was briefly a runway model. ❞

❝ Oooh, you weren't invited, and you came anyway? ❞

❝ I'm trying to hold a serious adult conversation, here. ❞

❝ Do I, uhh... have web on my face? What's the deal? ❞

❝ You and me are finally gonna live up to our potential. ❞

❝ You let him/her leave, he/she'll only do more damage. ❞

❝ I'm about to be so much more than a villain of the week. ❞

❝ You made me feel empty, like I had a hole inside of me! ❞

❝ I'll make you pay for everything you took away from me. ❞

❝ I wouldn't call it a mess. More like a... success in progress. ❞

❝ Everyone keeps telling me how my story is supposed to go. ❞

❝ If I hadn't said it before, by the way, you're a terrible mentor. ❞

❝ Come on, go easy on the kid. He/She had a terrible teacher! ❞

❝ Please, hold your questions until I'm done breaking this thing! ❞

❝ Is this where... like, you dress up like your favorite character? ❞

❝ Where's the... the bad/girl guy you were supposed to monitor? ❞

❝ I just saw where you went, and went there without you knowing. ❞

❝ Ha! I knew I was gonna regret making him/her that web shooter. ❞

❝ It's because I thought if you knew you wouldn't love me the same. ❞

❝ This should work! Or vaporize me and everything in this building. ❞

❝ Do... do you want us to do something, or do we just stand here? ❞

❝ You don't get to have a heartfelt conversation with me right now! ❞

❝ I just need enough to get me somewhere with a full-sized collider. ❞

❝ Since I leveled up my game, I'm on a journey of self-improvement! ❞

❝ I can do all these things, but I can't help the people I love the most. ❞

❝ The hardest thing about this job is you can't always save everybody. ❞

❝ Hey, you! Could you please deactivate this wonderfully strong barrier? ❞

❝ You have a choice between saving one person and saving an entire world. ❞

❝ Don't be afraid of my friend ___,he/she just looks scary. He/She's got no bite. ❞

❝ Look bad things are gonna happen. It makes us who we are.But good things happen too, you know? ❞

❝ I hate labels, I'm not a hero, 'cuz calling yourself a "hero" makes you a self-mythologizing, narcissistic autocrat. ❞

[exo-raskreia]

Do you think Cour 3 and 4 will give Rukia anything ?

My ideas would be for her to get something emotional with Ukitake , because they've not interacted for the entire arc , and when they finally do , he's about to sacrifice himself

And his death , it falls flat like a pancake , as Kubo treats it like it's just another plot point , we don't even know that Ukitake's dead until the very end of the series

I'd also want for Rukia to have a little team up with Byakuya and Toshiro against that Bottom Bargain Thor

Because again , Kubo's such a hack and fraud , why aren't your Kuchiki siblings and ice users not teaming up ?

Kubo wipes off Rukia and mostly everyone else of the board because he just didn't know what to do with them , really , for that week when he was writing and drawing the chapter , it was blatantly clear he just didn't have any real ideas and so went with the easy way out

And I mean , if Bottom Bargain Thor is such a strong opponent , shouldn't you want him to face more people ? 1 against many ? Especially with how huge he gets

There was no reason for Kubo to clear so many characters off the board other than his pure laziness and lack of ideas , when really all he had to do was simply let your characters use their abilities , Rukia doesn't even get to use hers since her fight with As Nodt

Lastly , I'd want to of course see Rukia with Ichigo in the final fight against Yhwach , as it was promised infamously by Urahara , which to this day , are still his final words in the series

So curious on if the new anime will keep that in or cut it right out , or worse , change him saying Ichigo & Rukia , to Ichigo and Orihime

I have so many ideas on how the final fight could go , but it would take me quite a while to write them all out

The main points would be , what can anybody even do against Rukia's absolute zero ? Maybe Yamamoto’s bankai , but Rukia’s power is to actually control / lower the temperature , so couldn’t she just lower the temperature / heat of his flames ?

Yhwach also mainly uses his almighty to break people's swords , how can you break Rukia's when she can obviously reform it with ice , as she does in her fight against Aaroniero

The real question should be , what can Ichigo even do against Yhwach when he enters that final fight with only a third of his powers ?

He had both his Hollow and Quincy before , now he only has his Shinigami side , surely he can beat Yhwach now

Tbh, I don't know. I don't watch the TYBW anime adaptation & don't have any particular hopes for it to fix anything. There's just a bunch of plot holes in this arc (Bl3ach in general 🙄) & underdeveloped characters that the cop-out ending left in its wake 😮‍💨.

It's a crime that Rukia was sidelined in the final arc. She never did anything significant after her bankai. She should've been beside Ichigo against Ywach, NOT Ori, who was treated like a ragdoll by Ywach, was more hindrance than help to Ichigo, & couldn't even encourage him! As if Rukia would've ever told Ichigo, "You can't fight anymore" !!!

She definitely should've had a moment with Ukitake, who should've lived imo. We never even saw him fight 💀.

Who knows if they'll remove Urahara's cryptic words about IchiRuki. It's a huge plot hole, so either they'll keep the scene as is with no elaboration (and we'll witness Bl3ach burn again), remove it, or keep it but actually give us the IchiRuki tag team we deserved. Ichigo vs Ywach, the final boss fight of Bl3ach, was an entire circus. Worst final boss fight I've seen in a battle shounen 💀. The IR tag team could save it, but that would mean the atrocious conclusion to the series would have to be fixed. They'd have to fill in the other plot holes too, no? I don't wanna have any expectations on that, tho.

Wish Ichigo had seen Rukia's bankai 😫. Remember how impressed he was when he first saw her shikai? He couldn't stop staring 😭. Imagine when he sees her bankai 😩.

That Thor fight never had a conclusion, did it? Just another plot hole that I don't know if the anime will fix. I personally enjoyed the Kenpachi, Byakuya, & Hitsugaya team up 🙃. It would be cool to see our fav ice users team up for something, tho.

Anyway, I'm only looking forward to seeing clips of older Hitsugaya & the GrimmNel scenes 😅.

Sorry for the late reply!

[multiversalstarlight]

@thiscrimsonsoul from [x]:

Wanda sighed, understanding what America meant but disagreeing wholly. "I think... my being here has less to do with me and more to do with his own guilt. I think he feels like a lot of... what happened... was his fault, or that he didn't do enough to stop it. To stop... me. So this might be his way of... I don't know, maybe feeling like he's doing something right or... trying to fix things. I think it's just his way of salvaging a situation he feels he screwed up. That's my best guess from what I know of him." She shrugged. "But he shouldn't feel that way, it... none of it was his fault. It was my fault," she said, not really wanting to dwell on that fact for any longer than she had to. "Don't read into things. It might have just been his face," Wanda said, actually cracking a small smile. "What I mean is... Stephen can be a little defensive sometimes. I don't know him that well, but he seems like someone who prefers to keep people at a distance. And if I had to guess, he's probably feeling really guilty about what you went through, and maybe he's getting grouchy with you instead of just saying that he's mad at himself." She shrugged again. "I don't really know, though, like I said, I don't know him that well. And I'm not a psychologist." "Look, if you really think he hates you or has some problem with you, then why don't you try to-" Wanda started to say, but then there was a loud knock at her door and she froze, eyes wide. "Wanda? Are you awake yet? I need to talk to you about something," Stephen called. It was a little early in the morning, maybe, but after his conversation with America, he needed to talk with Wanda. She... couldn't stay here anymore. Maybe. He didn't know. The last thing he wanted to do was reject an unstable witch with reality-bending powers who was already going through it in a big way, but he also had to think of America's well-being too. He'd be able to sort out some kind of solution, he thought, if he could just talk it through with Wanda. There had to be a solution that worked for all parties involved, and he was determined to find it. Wanda didn't answer at first, looking to America and trying to think fast. "Get in the bathroom...?" she suggested, more mouthing than speaking so Stephen wouldn't hear. "He probably won't look in there. It's that way," she said, pointing to one of the other doors. Of course she could just... compel Stephen to go away. Make him forget why he came. Make him suddenly want to run off to do something else. She could. It would be so easy... and quick... to just... No! No, she was done with things like that. She had to be, if she was ever going to recover and live any sort of normal life.

America might have said something in response - even had her mouth near open - when the knock on the door comes. She freezes, too, but it's of a different sort: at least the witch is supposed to be here; she's not supposed to even know about this place.

And then she hears Stephen's voice, and her eyes grow wide, and the witch is suggesting she go hide in the bathroom, but she's got a better - in her mind, at least - idea.

Stephen can always find her in a bathroom.

He can't find her in another universe.

Which means she can't get into trouble!

"Can you hold him off for, like, five minutes?" America whispers, eyes already glowing. She's got enough control that she can find her way back from wherever she is; she just doesn't know how long the portal will stay open once she steps through it. Five minutes, tops. If that. Five minutes should be more than enough time.

Theoretically.

Then, without waiting for an answer, America turns and punches a star-shaped hole from this universe into another one. She half steps through, pauses, and then glances back, biting her lower lip before saying, "Unless you, um, you know, wanna come?"

[caddy-crystal-queen]

So...life update

A few things.

1. We finally got our roof fixed. Woo-hoo, we did it. Well with a lot of help of course but we did.

2. However, we still need to get the interior done. Which means my room is still uninhabitable. There's black mold and still a big hole in the ceiling. We have someone to do the interior but it might take a little while since the room has to be completely cleared out. Meaning I still don't have a space of my own, im still sleeping in the living room.

This...is exhausting. My whole existence as of late has just been exhausting. Even on my days off im tired emotionally and mentally and I don't really want to do much. Im not saying I'm doing terribly, but I'm not doing the absolute best either. Its hard to find inspiration to write, create, or rp when your whole existence is exhaustion and you don't really want to do anything.

On top of that I don't feel im getting everything I want out of Tumblr. This isn't to say that I don't like Tumblr because I do. This has been my main place to go for years now. I can't even remember when I first started here lol.

But I honestly don't know what to do. My inspiration is incredibly low but I don't want to stop RP-ing altogether. I just wanna be given some time to get my inspiration back. Not helping matters is that I only connect with a few people on here and its not that fun anymore. I can count on like one hand how many friends i have on here. Its even worse when you're too anxious to reach out to try and talk to people.

I don't know why but I find a lot people on here to be kind of unapproachable. But not because I think people on here are assholes or anything, oh no! Far from! It's mostly because I think a lot of them are like super talented and stuff, and I feel I don't deserve to interact with them if that makes sense. I generally don't believe in "leagues" but I find a lot of people id like to write with are kinda...beyond me, if that makes sense? I know this is purely a me thing and im trying to work on that. No easy feat im afraid.

All this to say im not dead, but more like dormant. Im exhausted, especially mentally. My focus has been on trying to get by, and plus I have trauma surrounding the holidays which also doesn't help. I'll probably be taking a break for a short while, I really just wanna get my life in order.

Thanks

[basilfang]

- daisy daisy daisy let's go swimming

- when

- idk I wanna go swimming now but obds it's 9pm so maybe this saturdsy . as soon as possible pls

- okay. Remind me on Friday night. we can get food after?

- okie !! see u tomorrow ahhh

-

"you want this? I'm not hungry anymore."

"yes please!"

"in exchange can I have some of your mountain dew"

"of course, here. Also, Daisy, when can we go hiking some time?"

"maybe. I'll think about it. What's up with you? Suddenly wanting to do all these things again?"

"i don't know. Well, I do. I guess. I am doing things. I want to do more things, again."

"sure, it is good to do things. Is it anything to do with Niamh?"

"maybe [-] I mea. Yeah I guess. I just should be doing these things anyway you know? They make me happy. But like, I've been ... waiting around again. Doing that thing, where I just constantly check my inbox to see if she's replied or sent me anything. I know it's different now. We're not best friends anymore. She's moved away, and it can't be like before. But, whenever after she comes down to see me, it's like we're just as close as before again. And, I get sad."

"sad?"

"yeah. It's like there's a Niamh shaped hole in the house in the town of me. And I only get happy when she interacts with me. That's a lie, I get happ*ier* when she talks to me. But I can't be like before, and expect her to be the source of my happiness chemicals. I gotta get it my self. I am responsible for my own emotions. And I gotta get over the fact that we're not as close as before. And I gotta be able to generate my own dopamine instead of relying on her. It's not her job."

"i remember you said she was like your own dopamine vending machine"

"yeah"

"not the healthiest."

"uh huh. I feel like, also, that's such a monogamous way of living. Or like, I don't know how to describe it. I get stuck on people, and I fixate on our... it's like we are building something together. and I just focus on that. And just because she isn't always at the studio working on this ceramic piece with me doesn't mean she doesn't love me. Or that she's gonna run away. If she does then I can't do anything about it. And I'll live. And I have all these other projects with other people. Like you. And also with my self. My own personal projects, little pieces, welding projects, collage notebooks, so many things I could be building too. But I wait at the door, for her to come home so we can add to us. But there's not just us. There's everyone else too."

"what's our project? Me and you. What's that like?"

"Daisy and Catherine's project. I think it's a sculpture, paper-mache and polymer clay and playdough and mesh. and it's tall and colourful. What do you think?"

"i see that. I think it has nails and wire too. And maybe felt as well. What about you and David?"

"me and David... I think... it's a big Elizabethan dress, with embroidery and horse beads and little metal parts."

"that sounds about right. Do you imagine what you're building with everyone?"

"no, if I'm honest I'm coming up with these on the spot."

"hey, you and Bert do have an actual project. How is that going?"

"it isn't... we're both too busy and get distracted. I've been waiting at the door for Niamh I think I've been neglecting a few real life projects."

"stop waiting at the door then. Message me whenever you find yourself at the doormat. I like building our project."

"okay. I love you, man. You always meet me where I'm at. I'm glad we met."

"me too. Who else will eat the lasagne my mother made me so I can not feel guilty about not wanting it. She wants you to come over and look at her computer by the way, I think she's fucked it up again and I can't fix it."

"oh, okay. Maybe after swimming and chips we go to yours? We can watch more YouTube as well."

"sounds good! I can also tell you about Tyler more."

"you can always tell me about Tyler, I love hearing about romance."

"oh I don't want to tell you romance, I wanna tell you the drama. And yeah I will tell you romance, but also his family lore goes fucking wild, man. We need to sit down for it."

"really?? Okay, let's pick up snacks also after chips."

"sounds like a plan."

"you drank all my mountain dew!"

"oops. [aggressively while raising both middle fingers] sorry not sorry!"

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

||Mun's thoughts/Rant on the Election results so far||

((Okay I'm going to say this as short as I can but given how pissed I am right now. I'm going to try not to get too mad. Oh, and if you support this pig of a present, then don't read this. You supporters can keep your words to yourself. Second, I'm only saying this because I get the feeling their still counting up the final votes and I need to get this off my chest but.....meh.))

((Okay, to start off: I'm...I'm at a lost for words right now. First, I'm happy that Maryland went for Harris (Thank the lord for that). Second, like seriously? I can't believe that slimy scum bag of a pig crap is in the lead right now and might be close to getting in the white house. AGAIN! I woke up and saw the results so far seeing that..that fucking low life pig is close to win again. I mean, come on! What do his supporters see in this fucking idiot! Do people that support him even give a bullshit on what he did when he was in that office? He made shit worse. He didn't give a crap about anything else but trying to bring America down to the ground in flames and now they got him back in office.))

((It's just..I'm so embarrassed to be an American now and even worse knowing some people that are black voted for this...ugghhhhhh. pig of a human. *Sighs trying to calm down* I don't know what to say. I guess the Trump supporters were scared of a Woman. No a Black woman running office and thought:

'Oh but at least he's a man that knows what he's doing and Trump knows what he's doing' So we are fine love live the free-You know what NO! NO NO NO! Trump didn't do shit! He didn't do good for the USA and he never will! He's going to try to make things three times worse now all because some people are blind and try to look past what this fucking monkey-no a low life pig of a asshole did!))

((DON'T THEY UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!? DO YOU SUPPORTS NOT KNOW WHAT HELL HE DID WHEN HE WAS IN THE OFFICE!? Don't you guys remember what happened when his supporters tried to reclaim the whole thing for this asshole. The Riot!? Remember that!?))

((You Trump supporters that is alright with him being racist, insulting females, thinking everything he thinks is good, pissed me off so much. You guys seriously think this will do good for the USA!? Thinking he'll make make America great again?! You really think this pig brained moron will make things better? Oh sure! In hell he will! If any of you supports are happy and is glad this turned out which I get the feeling you are here is my word for it: Fuck that pig of a man! Fuck him! I'm giving this ass hole the middle finger because I will not be happy about it! I'M NOT! He will never be and won't be MY President and never will be! He's just a pig ass*** who I will hate ever since he went to the office the first time and close to being in it again. If you have anything you wanna say to me about your so called 'precious president' Don't. I don't want to hear any bullshit you have to say if you support this asshole. Just...keep your words to yourself. I don't.....want to hear it.))

((........*Sighs*))

((...I been stressed and upset about this and here I am hoping that things would be better for us but guess not. Some Trump supports thing it's fine to be racist, some think it's alright to threaten others due to his beliefs. Thinking causing stuff will fix things when it won't. It's just sickening and it upsets me. His followers just ignore the crap he's done and still says he's 'a great man to run the USA' but to me...he's not. He never will be. And he won't be. If you supports support this man, then I don't have anything to say to you. I don't want you to come to my inbox telling me what you think because I don't want to hear it. Just..I don't want to. I don't need to because I don't want to say anything to upset and get involved in this election drama of a mess.))

((....*Takes slow breath and breaths out* I'm done. I don't love being an American anymore because of this. I already feel my heart breaking knowing some who is already with the things he's done supports him. I'm hoping this will make a turn around for Harris.....If it does, we may have a chance for her to win. But if not: screw that pig of a man and to his supports. And others who things all the evil stuff he's done is helping when it's not. You have doomed us all. This is a sad day for America indeed.))

((I'm done Ranting now. I just had to get that off my chest. I'm going to drown in threads to keep my mind off this. Low life pig of a man indeed.))

Silver butterfly mun/Peahen mom

[mytrashtalk]

The brighter side.

Ok, so... keep yourselves safe, I'm about to rant about depression, eating disorders, cutting, self hate, self doubt... there's a lot of fucked up stuff coming so. Just keep yourselves safe.

I'm not gonna lie and say everything is fucked up, because I know not everything is... but everything feels like it.

Fighting this... impulse, this very fucking strongly compelling feeling that I really should cut myself just to feel. Fighting cutting is goddamn hard. Fighting against the voice in my head that sais I'm screwed up and I do not have fixing is so.fucking.goddamning.HARD

Because... I just seem to make things worst, I don't seem to be worthy enough, strong enough, pretty enough, talented enough. I just can't seem to BE enough. And of course one more scar on my arm is not gonna fucking fix that... and it isn't gonna help me dealing with all that shit either. In fact, is gonna make everything so much worst if anyone sees it...

But it's what my brain gets to. I'm fucked up. And on top of it I'm a narcissistic piece of shit, too. Bc why the fuck am I venting all my shit here, fo strangers to read. Is this a messed up cry for help? Maybe. Maybe this is me unleashing everything in my head and clinging to the feeling that someone somewhere can take something from this. Something good.

Anyway... my brain keeps getting back to the known disaster. It goes around like a fucking motto on my mind "stop eating" "cut yourself" "cut everyone out" "they don't even like you" "you're not funny" "you're awkward and weird" And the thing is I am. I am awkward and weird... but is it really that bad?

And maybe this is me falling deeper in the shit hole that is my depression bc I'm oversleeping again. I'm opening my eyes in the mornings and the first thing that pops in my mind is "I don't wanna do this shit anymore" I don't want to feel like a mess... but apparently there's not much of an option for me.

So should I? Should I cut myself? Should I get yet another scar that's just gonna remind me I was feeling too much? That anybody will notice bc c'mon... no one's gonna ask about the long sleeves, no one's gonna ask about the flinch I hide when the skin stretchs a little too much...

No one's gonna ask about the soundless screams I let out at night, or the tears that roll with them because no one fucking sees them.

And should I ask for help? Because they all are gonna tell me to try. To try harder. Well fuck. I am trying. I'm just sorry it's not fucking enough.

And I'm gonna go to sleep feeling like shit. I'm gonna cry myself to sleep, actually. And I'll wake up tomorrow still feeling like absolute shit. Maybe, if I'm lucky enough, I'll wake up feeling nothing. Feeling numb and regretful and fucked up bc I will not be able to accurately feel anything... but at least I'll wake up, right?

And I'm not brave enough to fucking kill myself but I appear not to be brave enough either to live fully. Holy shit I'm such a mess!

And that's it. That's the fucking night rant. I'll wake up. I thing that's what the title stands for. That's the brighter side. Maybe.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Safe Place {K.R.}

Pairing: Keanu Reeves x Reader

Word count: 1 K

Summary: You're having a hard time - at the verge of depression -, and Keanu shows you how much he loves you.

Requested by @nyctophilic0vitnir

{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

×

“Alright.“ Keanu says, getting up from the armchair. “Give me the phone.“ His tone is gentle, yet demanding. It's the voice he uses when you're in self-destruction mode. It's when he's taking over.

“Ke wants to speak with you.“ You tell your brother-in-law before passing the phone to Keanu.

You don't even try to understand the conversation, but the mention of your grandfather's name and the word money comes up a lot.

After a while, you decide to go upstairs, to the master bedroom, and sit on the armchair placed on the covered balcony. Everything is a mess. Your job has become a nightmare ever since the company's branch was absorbed into another, and the new bosses are turning even the simplest of things into huge obstacles. And your family? They're fighting among themselves over the will of your late grandfather, who has been dead for only three months.

It doesn't matter where you go, something makes your life a living hell. And it's getting to you, it's dragging you down that hole away.

One of the scariest things is when you feel as if you're floating as if you're brain has detached from your body. It's a symptom of depression, one that almost got you killed in the past when a car almost ran you through. It didn't even scare you... You just kept walking.

“(Y/N).” His voice, calming, and sweet, snaps you out of your state. That's when you notice the tears, wiping them off as he pulls the sliding glass door open. ”Hey.” Keanu kneels before you, warm hands on your knees. “Don't cry, Beautiful. They don't deserve it.”

They don't. But you're not crying for them. “I can't do this, Ke... I feel like my life is crumbling apart. My job, that I used love, is chaotic. The bosses hate us, and then my family... Damn it, they didn't even wait for my grandfather's body to grow cold before making a mess about his will. I didn't even know they could do that.” Covering your face with both hands, you let the sobs take over.

“Shh... Come here.” Keanu's arms embrace and lift you. He carries you inside, placing you down carefully down on the bed. “It'll be alright. Cry if you must, let it out.”

And that's what you do. As Keanu cradles you, you cry on his chest, sobs shaking your body. It takes a while for you to calm down, for the tears to dry out on your cheeks. For that time, Keanu doesn't say anything. He just sits there, holding you, being your anchor, as usual.

“I can't do this anymore...” You mutter, breaking the silence. “I don't want to lose myself again, not when we just got married, not when we should be happy, enjoying each other...”

“Look at me.” He asks, index finger under your chin, pulling your face toward his. “This isn't about me. We just got married, yes, and I intend to keep the vows I made. I'll take care of you, always.”

“But you can't. You can't just fix my life for me...”

“No, but I can advise you. I can hold you... I can punch your brother-in-law in the face...” That makes you chuckle, which brings a smile to his face.

“What's your advice then?”

“Quit your your job. Or try applying for a new space. The old branch has enough employees, and more would want to follow. You know how the market works, and I'm here if you need some investment.” That makes you think, and consider the possibilities.

“Would take a while... We'd have to get signatures from those willing to go, then collect proof that the current space isn't enough for everyone...” You sigh. “Would be bureaucratic...”

“Better to deal with that and have a possibility of moving than staying there. Or you could just resign.”

“I can't... I don't want to, it's just... Ugh.” Hiding your face in the crook of his neck, you close your eyes. “I don't wanna fall into that hole again...”

“I won't let you. Hear me?” Rubbing your back and arm, Keanu places a kiss on the top of your head. “I'll call Rony. Tell him I can't go out with the guys today.”

“Ke, you don't have to.”

“I know. But I want to.” He says as he moves to get up. “Today will be about you. I'll cook your favorite dish, and...” His voice fades as he goes to the bathroom, and soon enough you hear water. “...we'll take a nice, warm bath together. No cellphones, no interruptions. Just you and me.” Keanu comes back to the bed, leaning down to place a soft, warm kiss on your lips. “Actually, the entire weekend will be about us. I'll turn the router off, disconnect the landline...”

The idea makes you smile. “You weren't kidding on no interruptions, huh?”

“Not at all.” He picks you up, carrying you to the bathroom. “I'll read to you, your favorite book. And we'll test those recipes you've been wanting to for a while.”

“Sounds like paradise.” That was one of the many things that made you fall for Keanu, how he creates the perfect bubble word only for the two of you, shutting out everything else. His company is everything you need.

Keanu helps you undress, and you step inside the tub when the water is perfect, waiting for him to do the same before getting comfortable in his arms. “I love you, you know that right?” You say after a while, your words soft, and the burden on your shoulders easing as you start to relax. “No man has ever been so kind, so understanding...”

“And I'll try to be better every passing day.” He says, making you turn toward him and capturing your lips with a kiss.

Keanu turned this house into a home, a safe place, where you can hide in his arms and forget everything that happens outside these walls. So you let him love you back into sanity, pouring life back into you. With him, you feel strong enough to face anything.

[kamisathoes]

omg new theme!!!!! i love it

also while i was napping, i had a dream based on your windtrace fic and basically i got tagteamed by kaeya and rosaria and man i wanna go back to that dream lowkey

-🤨

is it bad if i want details :(( i'm so in love with the dynamic between these two and reader oh my goodness (i wrote this at seven a.m. so please excuse any errors.)

warnings threesome. toys. throat fucking. throat bulge. clit slapping. mention of filming/ taking a picture. degradation. some praises. overstimulation. squirting. unedited.

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT.

rosaria and kaeya at the same time is a dream. rosaria is so so mean, will slap and degrade you to no end, whereas kaeya is much more of a tease who will waste no time edging you pretty pussy and mock you for how wet you got even though the pair were just being nasty to you.

one thing that lives in my head rent free is rosaria bullying her strap on inside of your sloppy hole whilst kaeya takes refuge in your throat. rosaria's cock is thicker than kaeya, leaving your gooey walls to accommodate to an even bigger stretch. it left your lips parted enough for her to see your clit, hard and twitchy, while she fucked you. she'll play with the pearly bud, teasing it with the tip of her claw or just simply slapping it and watching you cry out were her two favorite activities.

meanwhile kaeya will force his cock to the back of your throat, even if your gagging. i think he'll be a little bit nicer than rosaria, perhaps opting to stroke your hair in comfort — just light things to ensure you remained feeling safe during the scene. nonetheless, he will still bury himself into your throat all the way, even pushing your nose against the neatly trimmed bush at the base of his cock. when he's fully sheathed in your throat, there are two things that will happen. firstly, he'll trace down any bulge that appears on your neck, mocking how eager you were for a taste of him. secondly, rosaria will snap her hips violently, two cold fingers fixed on squeezing and flicking at your puffy clit. your pretty moans, albeit muffled, vibrate around kaeya's cock, accompanying the sweet contracting of your throat around him. he'll even grip your tits for leverage, little red crescents from his blunt nails appearing on your skin.

both holes being used like this had you on the edge faster than you would like to admit. i don't think either of them would care that that you were about to cum, rather they would just continue their actions. after kaeya had ensured that you swallowed every drop of cum he had deposited in your mouth, he'll turn his attention to your pussy. the surrounding skin was red from rosaria's hitting your own, and kaeya led you into a false sense of security by carressing it with cold fingers, easing the sting that the woman had left behind.

yet the cavalry captain's only intent was to further the overstimulation you were already being subjected to. rosaria continued pumping her fake cock in and out of your sloppy cunt, lewd wet sounds filling the air as your arousal dribbled onto your thighs and down the curve of your ass. kaeya's lips made contact with your clit, unbelievably sensitive as your squirmed at the action. he'll place a tender kiss to it before suckling and nibbling the bud, making your legs tremble for the pair of them. kaeya only pulled away to tease you, offering smoothly spoken words of how intoxicating you looked and how it would be a shame not to snap a picture to show the rest of the knights or the nuns in the church what a pliant and good girl you could be. the duo's pacing didn't halt until you swore you couldn't take anymore, a gentle glaze of sweat and tears coating your pudgy cheeks. yet they demanded one more orgasm out of you, knowing you were already almost there. they wanted to see just how much of a mess you could make for them, and needless to say neither of them was expecting the sweet gush of liquid that squirted from your abused cunt. as it sprayed rosaria's lower stomach, kaeya couldn't resist catching some of your juices in his mouth. rosaria will continue to fuck you through the high, wishing to drain every last drop that you were willing to give them.

afterwards they'll both be at your sides to soothe you, kaeya uttering praises of how good you did and how heavenly you tasted. he urged you not to speak too much as your throat could still be somewhat raw from his cock, although you'd been fucked to a point where you hazy mind could no longer comprehend a full thought, let alone a sentence. the pair will clean you up and tuck you in, being sure to excuse you from any duties that you may have to attend to tomorrow. no matter how mean they were, they'll still be there for you when you wake back up.

© dottorology 23.01 — please do not repost.

[thechangeling]

Regarding the fight over whether masking is a privilege or not, I wanted to add my thoughts.

First of all, I honestly think one of the biggest issues we as a community run into is our inability to imagine and understand perspectives other then our own. This is a problem with a lack of theory of mind and obviously it's severity is different in every person, but when I see this discorse that's what comes to mind. Because of our autism we are kind of notoriously bad at understanding other peoples points of view. I know I personally struggle with this a lot.

But I am attempting nuance.

See on the one hand yeah I as a relatively low support needs autistic don't know what it's like to have to rely on a care taker 24/7 or experience ableism and abuse from that. I have had employment opportunities, I'm currently doing freelance work, I can live sort of independently as in I can go out and do things on my own but I need people to remind me to eat and shower.

And I can mask exceptionally well. So well that nobody ever suspects I'm autistic, even doctors will try to argue with me about the diagnosis I've received. Therapists will tell me I'm just sensative and I feel everything too much.

I am ridiculously good at playing their game. I can make their jokes and use their cute expressions and metaphors and similes, I can dress like them, walk like them, talk like them, flirt like them, but I will never be them.

And to say it takes a toll is putting it fucking mildly.

I have no stable sense of self. I've spent so long creating different versions of my self to please different people, different parts to play to appease the crowd that now I have no idea who I really am. When I look in the mirror I see a face, but have no connection to that face. Is that me? I have so much trouble figuring out my gender and sexuality or even choosing a name that feels right because when I try and look inside myself (metaphorically) all I can find is a gaping black hole of swirling fuckery. It's impossible to make sense of it.

People say "just do what feels right" but I have no concept of that anymore. I've spent so long ignoring my bodies signals and my internal... well everything basically that I don't know if I have sensory issues or if I can tolerate certain foods or if I actually like certain people because I just can't tell. It all feels numb.

My entire life has been about pressing and molding myself into different shapes to please other people. And as a result I've been through so much abuse. I just let it happen because I thought it was what I deserved. I told myself that I was lucky to be getting any kind of love, even love that came with mockery, insults and violence. I've had many friendships but almost all of them ended badly due to my extreme depression and anxiety or my relentless paranoia over being left behind. And then my fears would become a reality and my paranoia became even worse.

See the thing is, at the end of the day nobody wants to love a scared insecure self loathing shell. So even though if I wasn't masking they would still find things to criticize, just different things, they leave.

I've tried to kill myself four times, self harmed all thought my teens and I've struggled with substance abuse. My kidneys actually kind of don't work as well as they're supposed to now probably because of my abuse of painkillers and vodka. My most commonly used phrase in the world is "I'm fine." I say it automatically without even thinking now. It's like I've completely lost my ability to tell when I'm in any kind of pain or discomfort.

I'm not writing all of this to try and get sympathy or pity. Absolutely not. My point is that masking is inherently traumatic and violent. I have quite literally destroyed my psyche and I don't know if I can fix it. That's why I flinch when I hear someone calling masking a privilege, because believe me you don't want this. You don't wanna feel like this. Like you've lost everything and now you're just a hole.

But, if I put my feelings aside I can recognize that the fact that I was able to mask in the first place did afford me certain privileges that other autistics don't get. Beyond the job stuff and the "adulting" stuff, I know that when the allistic people I know say they love and support autistics they are talking about autistic people like me. People who seem "normal." People who they could see themselves dating or having a laugh with. And that's a privilege.

But how I got there was not fucking pretty. And I don't think people who havent been through the trauma of masking should get to talk about how harmful it is. There needs to be a place where we as masking autistics can talk about our pain while still acknowledging the privilege we hold in this society for being able to mask.

Because yeah, masking did protect me somewhat, but it didn't protect me fully.

[drakenology]

Ma'am, DILF!Asahi. Soft lil chubby/curvy housewife. Babysitting friend's lil tot. Bigger family, more breeding, and utterly filthy, filthy lovemaking. Tiny size kink, wifey like being picked up, makes her feel small and safe in his big strong arms. Mating press and nipple sucking okay?

Asahi wants to be a daddy and he asked politely... enough, don't you think? 👉👈

-🦑

ᵇᵃᵇʸ ᵐᵃᵐᵃ ˣ ᵃˢᵃʰⁱ ᵃᶻᵘᵐᵃⁿᵉ

꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱⠀synopsis : asahi catches you being the cutest little caregiver to daichi’s sons when you babysit and the sight just makes him feral. it makes him want a baby of his own. ;)

꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱⠀warnings: smut, dilf!asahi, smidgen of size kink, breeding kink, cunnilingus, some fluffy stuff and just Asahi being a service top

You had to be about the sweetest little wife Asahi could ever ask for. He knew the day he met you that he had to spend the rest of his natural born life with you. You had this warm aura about you that made him fall for you all over again. Every morning, he’d find himself missing you on the drive to work; missing your touch and the soft kisses you give him on the cheek as a goodbye present. 

When he got home to see you in the kitchen cooking up dinner for you both to eat together his eyes almost teared up. Home for Asahi was wherever you were, and he always made sure to show you. 

“Hi, sweet baby.” He’d coo at you, smothering you with kisses on your cheek and down your neck. You look up from the pot and kiss him on the lips, giggling at his big, goofy grin. 

“Hey, honey. You’re just in time for dinner.” You chime, shooing him away from the stove so you can fix your plates. Just like routine always called for, you shared a meal together and then you shared each other’s bodies in the sanctuary of your bed until it was time to go to sleep to start the next day and do it all over again. 

Today was a little different. You agreed to watch Daichi’s sons while he went away to practice, welcoming them in your home with open arms and fun activities to do. You spent the day trying to keep them occupied, a little nervous since you don’t have any kids of your own with Asahi just yet. But the boys ended up loving you as if you were part of their family and you had a blast looking after them too. Asahi got to come home early from work today, practically jumping out of his car to hug and smooch to his sweet baby. 

But when he opens the door to see you in the living area covered in finger paint and running around screaming and laughing with two 5 year old boys something stirs within him. His intentions with you were no longer innocent. He’d always wanted a family with you -- in fact it was his ultimate goal since marrying you. Watching you play with Daichi’s kids made his cock stir, his sperm itching to leave and enter your fertal womb to make his own children with you. 

You turn and look at Asahi; who was just standing in the door way with his briefcase in hand. 

“Honey! I forgot to tell you the boys were coming over today. Sorry about the mess.” You say sheepishly, rubbing the back of your head as the boys run around in circles where you stood. Asahi just smiles brightly and kisses you on the forehead after snapping himself out of his hazy daydream.

“We can clean together when Daichi picks them up later. Let’s have some fun!” 

                                                      ꒰ఎ ♡ ໒꒱⠀

“Thanks again for watching the twins guys. I hope they didn’t give you two too much trouble.” Daichi says, laughing a bit when he sees the state of you and your husband - covered in finger paint and flour from baking cookies with them.

“Not at all. They were angels.” You say, waving them goodbye as Daichi walked the small boys to his car to return home. When the door shut, you turn to start cleaning up your now trashed and trampled living room. Asahi wanted to help, really he did. But the way your clothes were clinging to your curves - the way you became a second mother to Daichi’s children; running around playing and rough-housing with them and filling his mind with fantasies of you with children of your own all swollen and plump from being pregnant pitched a tent in his pants he could no longer ignore. As you tried to mop the floor, Asahi’s strong arms wrap around you, kissing your neck sweetly. 

“H-Honey! Stop it, the living room’s a mess.” You whine at him - half giggling half moaning as his hands caress your hips, causing him to chuckle - lust thick in his tone. 

“I know, baby. I need you. We can clean later.” Asahi cooed, lifting you off your feet to whisk you away to the bedroom - your lucky mop dropping to the floor with a clang. 

The sound of Asahi’s big feet against the hardwood of the stairs boomed as he climbed them, practically running with you in his arms to get you out of your paint-covered clothes. He rests you on the bed gently, sliding your shorts and panties off with one swift move. He takes off his shirt and tosses it aside eagerly, his back muscles on full display for you as you watch him in the mirror in front of your bed. 

His big hands pull you to the edge of the bed, his mouth devouring you as soon as he took one look at your pretty cunt. His tongue glided along your folds, groaning when he tastes you. Your hands catch his long locks, tugging lightly as his fingers rub your clit softly. His eagerness to be inside you overtakes his want to taste you, pulling away from your now sopping wet cunt to crawl on top of you. He tugs off his pants, his weighted cock springing free from his boxers as his hands grab the plush flesh of your thighs to put them over his shoulders. 

“Haah, ‘m sorry, baby. Need your pussy so bad. Be good and take me, okay?” He said, sliding into as he talked. The dull stretch only made you wetter, your weeping hole pulling him in so deliciously Asahi saw stars. 

“You feel so good, honey.. always so fuckin’ good ‘f me.” He praised as he folded your body in half, leaning into your neck to kiss it. You felt him so deep you swore he was reaching your stomach, yelping with every slow thrust of his cock - feeling his thick veins dragging alongside your velvety walls.

“A-Asa-hi!” You gripe, your nails clawing at his back as his muscles flexed. He held himself back from completely pounding you for way too long now, his mouth latching onto your hardened nipple as his hips start to snap against you.

“F-Fuuck, baby you feel so good. I love you, baby just keep takin’ it. Keep takin’ it.” He huffed, his balls tightening as you clamp around his thickness. You’re gasping for air as he railed you into the softness of your bed, every thrust knocking the wind out of your lungs as your eyes tear. 

“’M gonna cum, Asa- nngh!” You mewl, your back arching up into Asahi’s body, your pebbled nipples pressed against his chest. Once Asahi felt those slick walls squeezing him tightly, there was no holding back anymore - his balls emptying every drop of his hot stick cum inside you with a loud and hungry groan. You feel him cum in ropes inside you, locking eyes with him as your hands brush some of his hair away from his face. Asahi slumps over top of you, his cock still inside as you both pant and bask in the after glow of your love making. He peppers sweet kisses on your cheek, smiling in your hair as he finally pulls out and rolls over next to you. Asahi’s big strong arms pull you into an embrace once more, seeming like he didn’t wanna let you go. 

As his lips press more kisses into your skin, you both doze off in each other’s arms - sweet dreams of parenthood filling your minds as you snooze away. 

[the2duchess]

01. Arrival

summary: After five years of estrangement from her half-brother Sam Uley, Lili travels to La Push for his wedding.

word count: 2433

THE WIND BLEW THROUGH my hair, sending it flying behind me like a kite as Sam's Jeep bounced over the pot-holes and speed bumps of La Push, Washington.

"Roll up the window, Lili."

In response, I rolled down the window even further. Who was he to tell me what to do? After he had given me the cold shoulder for five years. Five years! Who does that kinda stuff?

Only a monster, that's what.

"You're going to have to talk to me eventually, you know."

"Wanna bet?" I snapped, before wincing—typical.

Sam laughed, arm hanging half out of the window as if he didn't have a care in the world. He drummed his fingers on the wheel to the song playing on the radio. He looked the picture of joy, him in his busted black Jeep and tattered jeans, and his wedding in just three days.

And I wanted nothing more than to claw out his eyes.

"You haven't been back in a long time. Paul—do you remember him?—can't wait to see you again. And Emily's been dying to meet you."

"Ah, yes. Your mystery fiancée whom I've never met let alone talked to. So it's really freaky that she's making me one of her bridesmaids. Isn't that supposed to be bribery?" I said, rather bitterly.

Truth be told, I secretly relished the idea of being a bridesmaid.

"Hey, watch it," he said warningly. "Don't take it out on Emily, she's lovely, alright?"

I swallowed a surge of jealousy. Was his lovely fiancé the reason why he practically ignored me for five years? There were all sorts of stories like that nowadays, vixen girlfriends isolating their boyfriends from their friends and family.

I hadn't even met the girl and already, I hated her.

Staring morosely out the window and towards the blurry scenery, I grumbled, "Is Dad coming?"

"We sent an invitation to his last known address, no RSVP whatsoever." He didn't even sound that gutted that our dad the deserter—he left Sam and his mum when he was seven, my mum and I when she was still pregnant with me—would not be coming for his wedding.

"We?" I said lightly. "Emily knows?"

He fixed me a look. "Of course she knows about our family situation, she's about to become my wife. You're being very difficult, Lili."

"I know I am." And I did not want to make things easier for him. I was going to be the most stubborn, mouthy, selfish brat just to show him I wasn't a little girl anymore, who would forgive him for every misstep no matter how large.

"Wedding preparations are well underway, and Emily is going out of her mind trying to ensure everything is perfect. I know she'd love it if you help out."

"If you're trying to force us to bond, it's not working," I sang, then caught sight of a house festooned with flowers and ribbons and lanterns, the whole shebang. "This isn't Aunty Alison's house."

"Emily and I have been living in a house of our own." Sam's face went slightly red as he parked the Jeep in the driveway, where an orange Mini Cooper and Harley Davidson were also parked.

"Living in sin? Not the greatest example to set to your little sister."

As we walked towards the front door, I said, "You're only 23, aren't you? That's pretty young for marriage. What did Aunty Allison say about that?"

He sighed, and set my suitcase down on the gravel. His face was serious, holding no signs of the easy happiness that was present when he picked me up—before he knew what a pain I had become in his absence.

"You're really holding this out against me, aren't you?" His voice was weary.

"Yup!" I said, popping the 'p'.

"And what can I do to get you to forgive me?"

"Hmm." I pretended to think for a moment, and Sam's face brightened up only for it to fall flat again when I replied with, "Nothing."

I took hold of the handle of my suitcase and began rolling it towards the door. Behind me, Sam let out an exasperated, "There are some things you wouldn't understand, Lili. I was worried La Push would be too dangerous for you."

I whirled around, and said skeptically, "Really? Dangerous? A teeny tiny, quaint little town where everyone knows everybody, dangerous? Hardly the stuff nightmares are made of."

He grimaced. "Lili, stop being so sarcastic, it's so hard to talk to you."

I scowled at him, and hissed, "Can you at least try to understand why I'm so furious? You never responded to my letters, e-mails, or invited me to La Push, or came to San Francisco. And all of a sudden, I get a wedding invite in the mail two weeks ago. And I had no idea what had been going on with you for the five years you were silent. So, leave me alone. The only reason I'm here is because my mother made me."

That shut him up real quick, and I tried my best to ignore the hurt in his face. I had always thought he was indestructible, but apparently not.

I rang the doorbell. A woman with impossibly glossy black hair opened the door. She had three scars running down from her hairline to chin. They were a vivid red, looking so fresh and raw I felt a shudder run down my spine. She was smiling brightly, yet one half of her mouth was distorted, pulled down in a grimace.

"You must be Lili. I'm Emily, it's so great to finally meet the famous Lili." Her voice was low, like a hum. She opened her arms and walked in for a hug, but I stuck out a hand formally.

I wasn't quite ready for such an intimate gesture.

But to try and soften the blow, I said, "Nice to meet you, Emily."

Emily smiled back just as brightly as before. I'm pretty sure she heard our fight. But when she looked over me at Sam, her face lit up like the Fourth of July. Sam leaned over my head to kiss her. Right on the lips. Right in front of me.

I scowled, ducking under them and into the house properly. "Save the PDA for the wedding, God."

Sam pursed his lips. Emily had the decency to blush, saying, "Got that, Lili. Want to see your room?"

My room wasn't so bad. It was actually pretty cute. But I didn't say that out loud, of course. The walls were painted sage-green, with a bedspread patterned in matching green hearts. The single bed was crammed next to the bedside table. Across the room was a pale oak closet with no knobs and a very scratched up, peeling exterior. Next to it was a study table with a potted snake plant.

Sam said, "You can decorate it however you want since you'll be coming back for the summer—"

I rolled my eyes. It was not my choice that my mother was going to South America on an MSF program.

"—so it'll really feel like home. And sorry about the closet, it was secondhand and barely ten dollars. We couldn't resist." He gave me a sharp look, warning me not to say anything sarcastic to Emily.

But even if he hadn't done that, I wouldn't have said anything snarky because I loved the room. It was simple and snug, designed around my favourite colour—he must have asked my mother about my taste.

"Thank you. I love it."

Emily grinned, her face lighting up with happiness. "Want to meet the gang?" she asked, but she did not wait for an answer and grabbed on my hand to tug me out of my bedroom.

Sam protested, "Wait, don't!" But she was too fast.

She led me to the backyard, where wedding preparations were well underway. There were several tall, tan, shirtless, and muscular guys from the rez lugging huge stacks of chairs and carrying tables on their shoulders, no sweat. I didn't realise I was gawking until one of the guys snickered.

"Hey Lili, nice to see you again." The snickering one said. "Do you remember me? I'm Paul. You used to follow Sam and I around a lot when we were little."

"Ah, really?"

Other than Paul, there was Embry, Quil, and Jared present. Apparently, there were three people missing: Leah and Seth Clearwater, and Jacob Black. The Clearwaters were at the Makah reservation picking up relatives for Emily's wedding. And Jacob was up in Forks doing some business.

"Leah, my cousin, is going to be the maid of honour while you and two of my other cousins are bridesmaids." Emily explained. "Sam's best man is Jacob, and his ushers are Paul, Embry, and Seth. You're going to be walking with Seth. And don't worry, he's really sweet. I picked the nicest boy to walk with you. "

The boys groaned and rolled their eyes, claiming that they were sweeter and nicer than Seth Clearwater while I stifled a laugh.

I felt strangely touched that she was picking me to be one of her bridesmaids. My bratty attitude should have crossed me off her list the moment I stepped into her house and invaded on her blissful, pre-wedding bubble.

I made a resolution to be nicer to Emily.

Sam joined us outside, not looking very pleased to find me acquainted with the boys.

"Behaving yourselves?" He said gruffly, slinging an arm around Emily. Gosh, what was with them and their need to be constantly draped over each other like cats? I felt him try to make a move to put an arm around my shoulder, but I expertly ducked around, pretending to dust off my shoe.

"Yes, sir. Nothing ... unordinary happening." Embry said, nodding firmly with the same sort of attitude a soldier would respond to the captain.

Sam's face relaxed. "Good. But put on some shirts. I don't want you guys to defile my little sister's mind."

Since there was still a lot to be done before the wedding in three days, I helped string together Chinese lanterns and fasten flower bunches along the perimeter of the yard. The yard was huge, so it took me quite a lot of energy. Sam told me the house was provided to him by the Elders of the Council, but I was still surprised that they were so generous, as the house was quite a steal.

The boys had a funny chemistry, completely at ease with each other. It wasn't long before I could discern their wildly different personalities—they all balanced each other out, what with Paul's hot-headedness, Embry's quiet demeanour, Quil's cheeky banter, and Jared's teasing, jokester-type personality.

I finished my decorating just before the sun set, and collapsed on the dewy grass. If there was another thing I missed about La Push, it was the spectacular sunsets. The sky wasn't obscured by tall skyscrapers and buildings, which was a pleasant change from San Francisco.

"What's up, Lili?" Paul sat down next to me, arms stretched out behind him. Maybe I was embarrassed by how good-looking he was, but I could practically feel the heat radiating off him. "How old are you?"

"I'm sixteen."

Jared, coming towards us, let out a huge guffaw. "A year younger than Seth? That's a laugh, he's going to love it. Hey, what if he's the one who—" He stopped short.

"What if he what?" Quil teased, joining us along with Embry.

Meanwhile, Sam and Emily were oblivious to me getting swamped by them, although Sam had seemed really tense earlier when I first met the boys. They were already in honeymoon central, entwined in each other's arms and watching the sunset from a swing.

Embry didn't miss my grossed out expression. "That weird, huh? Seeing your brother all loved up."

"I guess." I wasn't in the mood for a therapy session.

He obviously didn't buy my silence, and said rather sagely, "There's more than what meets the eye."

I turned sharply towards him, worried that he had also heard my fight with Sam. But he smiled sweetly back at me, I didn't want to doubt such a face.

"Hey, we're buying takeout for dinner." Emily said, as she and Sam were walking back towards the house. "You get to choose what we get, Lili, as a homecoming honour."

"Thai food, please." I said quickly. "And I'll unpack my things before dinner, if you don't mind."

Emily gave Sam significant look, as if to say, See? Just give her some time to settle in. She pulled me up and snaked an arm around my waist, her other around Sam's, like a little family. I fought the impulse to wriggle out of her picture-perfect family portrait.

We all traipsed to the back door, and I was startled to find it practically hanging to the doorway by a single hinge. I hadn't realised its dismal state when I walked through it earlier.

"What happened to the door?"

"Well … the boys are pretty boisterous." Emily said, and the boys cheered. "Sam's going to rip it from its hinge before the wedding, then replace it with a swinging door. Easier that way."

Judging by Sam's muscles, as well as the rest of the gang's, I didn't at all doubt that they would be able to rip the door off its frail-looking last hinge.

"Might as well get a dog door," Paul snickered.

My expression was one of confusion, and I was about to ask him what he meant when Sam practically snarled, "Paul."

Paul winced. "Sorry."

It was pretty strange. But, stranger things have happened in La Push.

As we entered the house, which was pleasant and cosy as its exterior, I excused myself to escape into my bedroom. I held off unpacking all of my clothes, for it would have been too … final. Like I was really here, and going to come back for the summer and most likely stay still I graduated high school if my mother stayed on in South America.

I wasn't even sure what to make of Sam and Emily together. She was nice and all, but up till a week ago, I had had no idea that she was the centre of my brother's world. And the boys? Paul, Embry, Quil. And then there were two more—Seth Clearwater and Jacob Black. With the way things were shaping up, it looked like they were already part of the little family. I would be seeing a lot of them.

I groaned. It was going to be a crazy ride.

hii!! btw, this is also up on my AO3. don’t forget to like:))