#i want to draw so badly i don't wanna get 10 pathetic minutes a day at best
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good evening i am. angry but also don't have the wrist stamina to get into it
#elia txts#it just sucks!!!!!! that my job is Doing Nothing and waiting for my body to Heal#FOR ANOTHER 3 MONTHS AT LEAST#i must under no circumstances overdo it even when i start feeling better even in march#i should not write all night or draw a lot it will be so much Easing Back Into It and Not Fuck It All Up Again#but im sick and tired!!!!!!!! two full years pissed into the void#and i won't even be able to throw myself back into passions with my whole heart#like i cannot get over losing two actual years of my life i am so extremely antisocial abt it too#bc before this irl fri*ndshit was taking up so much of my time & i agonized over it and i just like#shouldn't have should've just dropped it then id have never gotten into g3nshin id have quit my job much earlier#i would have actually been able to enjoy japan. it fucking HAUNTS ME#ventpost lol dl but like#i fell behind. everything got away from me. & now i have to wait more and be gentle and patient w myself i wanna bite my own head off#GOD. release me from this hell#i want to draw so badly i don't wanna get 10 pathetic minutes a day at best#i wanna get an art spark and not put it in a box i want to be consumed again & pour hours into it fuelled by energy drink unafraid#reading books is all i can do at the moment but even that is miserable bc i don't have the typing ability for my vocab lists#i can't write notes and summaries even when things are interesting. i cannot look at japanese without crying bc i miss kanji#& believe in recovery now!! (on good days anyway) but this aching void of loss and grief and time wasted will it ever go away :(
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panda plushie—z. hao
summary: when your boyfriend has a long and stressful day at rehearsals, you want to surprise him to cheer him up! little did you know he was already finding his own way to feel better...
reader: gender neutral but lmk if i missed anything!
warnings: MINORS DNI! blowjobs, virgin!hao, pet names (only baby i think?) i think that's it
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your relationship with hao was a relatively sweet and innocent one. the furthest the two of you had ever went was making out on his couch for 10 minutes. while this was always enough for the both of you, you both knew you wanted more of each other, and that's how you got yourself here.
you enter your boyfriends dorm wanting to surprise him after a long day of rehearsals. you knew how hard he works to be the best performer he can be, and you know how badly it can stress him. you quietly sneak to your boyfriends room with a plush panda behind your back. you knew the rest of the boys were meeting for dinner and they informed you beforehand that hao wouldn't be joining them because he was too tired. as you approach his room, you hear soft whimpering. immediately you think something is wrong so you reach for the doorknob. before you could open it, you hear the prettiest sound you've ever heard come out of your boyfriends mouth. a moan.
you felt your body immediately warm up as your cheeks flushed the deepest shade of pink. you knew your boyfriend jerked off obviously, everyone has needs, but you never really imagined how perfect he'd sound while doing it.
as his whimpers get louder, you knew you couldn't miss the big finale and opened the door. before your eyes was possibly the sexiest thing you'd ever seen. hao was laid out on the bed with his back arched and his neck lazily thrown back, and of course his hand gripping his needy cock. before you could enjoy the sight too much, you immediately lock eyes with your boyfriend.
"y-y/n what are you doing here?" hao rushes to say while trying to hide himself with his blankets. you try to hide your smile, he's so cute when he gets flustered.
"i came to bring you this" you say pulling the plush out from behind you back, "but it looks like you don't need any of my help to make you feel better" you say giggling.
your dominating nature in this moment turned your boyfriend on so badly that you caught another soft whimper that he tried so hard to conceal.
moving closer to him, you kiss his head as you sit down near his legs on the bed.
"i know we haven't really had this conversation yet, but it seems like the perfect time. let me help you baby" you say gently.
hao rushes to shake his head no, you've never done anything like this before and he didn't want you to think he was using you.
"it's okay, i promise. i wanna make you feel good" you say smiling softly.
"o-okay" your boyfriend finally submits and lets out a breath he'd been holding for way too long.
with his permission, you slowly start drawing the sheets back to reveal his pathetically hard cock laying against his stomach. you immediately wanted to test the waters and wrapped your hand around his length.
he quickly jerked his hips up and whined loudly. once you realized how sensitive he really was, you knew you were gonna be having fun with him.
you decide to stop teasing your poor boyfriend and start stroking his cock slowly, stopping at the tip to rub circles on it.
"please, f-faster" your pretty boyfriend desperately says. who are you to deny such a pretty boy begging for you?
you complete his request, going faster and making sure to keep glancing up at his cute expressions. you knew your boyfriend was already getting close, and that's when you decided to surprise him even more.
you take your hands off of his cock and you could swear you see his eyes tearing up from the loss of contact. before he could complain about it, you replace those hands with your mouth.
you only could bob your head up and down a few times before your boyfriend was cumming inside of your mouth.
you quickly swallow it up, relishing in the taste of him. you went on for a little longer until he was shaking and pushing your head away.
"that was amazing", hao says breathlessly.
you both smile at each other and your gazes fall on the panda plushie you had bought for him. it was sitting in its cute pose staring at the two of you. you both meet eyes again and start giggling at the plushie watching that whole encounter. before you could even make a joke about it, hao turns the bear around so it's facing the wall. you questionably look at him wondering why he did that when it was obviously a little bit late.
"what? you didn't think i'd return the favor"?, he says smugly.
for someone completely inexperienced, he was shockingly good with his tongue.
a/n: hii!! this is my first full piece of writing on here 🥺 i hope u guys enjoy and feel free to request anything too! 🩵
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