#i want to draw rowans messy relationships

[khaoticqueer]

Quick rough concept before I do a full-ref real drawing. playing around with some stuff and style and design elements. need to fix like even the hair (and fix some things) and the contrast with the shirt a bit when I do the real drawing but overall I like how the shapes are holding up. Gonna be fixing up my style to have a bit more realistic proportions (closer to this rough, because I need the fact I do horror stuff to translate better), and work on lineart since I wanna try working in trad ink stuff soon so I want my 'main' style to translate digitally and traditionally (though I still will do lineless for some stuff/lots of stuff)

and I need to do like. a ton of fullbody refs for at least a lineup, though I might just stick to 'important' characters since this is meant to be a written novel and visuals are just a fun added thing for me.

[spacesquidlings]

Interference

The monotony of paperwork and a growing migraine are thwarted by the chaos of Gavin's children, who seem intent on distracting him from anything but their very important tea party

Pairing: Gavin x MC (OC Rowan) Tags: Fluff, established relationship/married, Dad Gavin, Domestic fluff, original characters (the baby bais in question), parenthood Taglist: @aluneposting

The muffled sound of laughter filtered into Gavin’s home office as he flipped through the reports scattered across his desk. He could feel the beginnings of a headache thrumming in his temples and his eyes ached from staring at his computer all day.

He wanted to take a break, wanted to lie down on the couch in the living room, the one that sat beneath the windows with the gauzy blue curtains, and let the late afternoon sunshine wash over him like a golden blanket. He wanted to tuck one of the puffy pillows his wife had bought under his head and draw the fluffy pink blanket that was always tossed across the couch over his body. He wanted to nap, he wanted to fall asleep under the sunshine and wake up to a soft kiss on his forehead and the steady warmth of his wife as she curled up beside him.

But he still had a meeting in the next few minutes, and after that he had to at least finish some of the paperwork spread out before him.

He’d thought opting to do less fieldwork would mean spending more time with his family. But all it had really meant was long days with burgeoning migraines listening to his children squealing with joy as they played right outside his door. And occasionally, one of his children sneaking into his office and trying to crawl onto his desk.

He ran a hand down his face as he heard the twins arguing, Cordelia whining that Gardenia had to include her pet rock in their games. Her argument was followed by an unintelligible squeal and then the pounding of little feet racing up the staircase.

He had to focus, had to get these reports done, or else he’d never get to relax on the couch, would never get to spend any time with his family.

But he had barely typed up more than a few words when he heard the creak of his door being pushed open. There was the shush of tiny padded feet shuffling across the carpet and then a small hand patting the side of his chair.

Gavin looked down to see his youngest, Sorrel, staring up at him with wide amber eyes. His pacifier was still in his mouth and his hair was messy and tangled, like he’d just awoken from a nap.

“Hey buddy,” Gavin cooed, leaning down to scoop Sorrel into his arms. “What are you doing?”

Sorrel giggled, smushing his face against Gavin’s chest, stretching out his wrinkled baby hands.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to be up, are you?” He asked, squishing Sorrel’s cheeks. “I think you’re supposed to be napping.”

Sorrel babbled something that sounded an awful lot like mama and Gavin’s heart ached. His son wasn’t yet two years old and he was already stumbling around on his little feet, trying to keep up with his older sisters. But he was nothing if not a mama’s boy, and no matter how much trouble his sisters tried to get him into, he always ended up leaving to go look for his mama.

“Should we go find mommy?” Gavin asked, cradling Sorrel close as he stood. “Get you tucked back into bed?”

Sorrel nodded, his wide eyes solemn as Gavin carried him through the house, searching for Rowan.

“Rowan?” Gavin called, readjusting Sorrel in his arms as he began to squirm, tilting his head back as he searched for his mother.

“Mama?” Gavin tried again, grinning as Sorrel joined in, cooing out a small ‘mama?’

“Babey?”

Rowan came around the corner, one twin held on either side of her hips, their legs kicking furiously in the air behind them. Chunks of hair had fallen from the ponytail she’d yanked into her unbrushed hair that morning when she’d taken the dog for a walk. He could see sweat shining on her brow and her cheeks, her chest heaving as she struggled to keep both twins in check.

She heaved a huge sigh, depositing the twins on the floor as she came towards him. Cordelia shouted, waving her rock in the air as she raced away while Gardenia just sat on the floor, glaring after her sister.

“What’s going on?” Rowan asked, stepping around a pouting Gardenia as she came to scoop Sorrel out of Gavin’s arms.

“Someone was trying to escape his nap,” Gavin murmured, his heart aching a little as he watched Sorrel nestle into Rowan’s arms, his little hands grabbing onto her shirt and holding tight.

Rowan tsked softly, shaking her head even as Sorrel babbled quietly, his eyes already falling closed again. “Back to bed with you, love.”

She cradled Sorrel gently, swaying from side to side until his breath evened out, his hands loosening their grip on her shirt. Gavin moved closer, wrapping his arms around Rowan’s waist, pulling her against him, little Sorrel sandwiched between them.

Rowan snorted, resting her head in the crook of his neck, her breath tickling his skin. “What are you doing?”

“Holding my wife,” he breathed, pressing a kiss to her brow. “I missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. I feel like you’ve been working for hours.”

He rubbed languid circles against her back, savouring the feel of her against him, even if it was only for a few moments. “Not as hard as you, pumpkin. You’re doing amazing.”

She sighed, and he could feel the wry smile that curled against her lips. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Once I’m done for the day I’ll come out and help. Maybe we can order dinner for tonight.”

There was a screech then, reminding Gavin that Gardenia had been grumbling underfoot after Cordelia ran off after successfully rescuing her rock.

“Can we have fwies!?” Gardenia cried, curling herself around Gavin’s leg. “Pwease?!”

Gavin crouched down, gently prying Gardenia from his leg. “We’ll think about it, tater tot. Why don’t you go play with your sister?”

At that she was pouting again, her little face scrunched up as she waddled away.

Rowan was laughing as he straightened. “I think you’re going to have to buy them fries.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “If I ever manage to finish these reports, anyways.”

She kissed his jaw, nuzzling against his throat. “Go on and finish your work. I can take care of these little potatoes.”

His heart ached as he headed back to his office, wishing he could just abandon his work, shut his computer down, and spend the rest of the day with his family. With his Rowan and their chaotic little children.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. He just had to get through a meeting, and then a few more hours. And then he would be done for the day. Then he could spend as much time as he wanted with his family.

“Hi papa,” Wisteria sang, startling Gavin from his attempts to motivate himself.

His second oldest was spinning around in his office chair, kicking her legs out as she spun, her hair fluttering around her face as she giggled.

“Do you wanna have a tea party?”

He shook his head, plucking her from the chair and spinning her around once. “I can’t right now, baked potato, I’ve got work to do.”

Wisteria stuck out her tongue. “Boo, that’s yucky.”

“Very yucky,” he chuckled, setting her down. “Why don’t you go play with your sisters?”

Wisteria sighed. “Uwowa got upset at me.”

“Why was she upset at you?”

Gavin could only imagine what Wisteria had done to annoy her older sister.

Aurora somehow managed to have limitless patience for a seven year old, but Wisteria always managed to find the last scrap of it and proceed to push her past her own limits.

She reminded him a little of his brother, a thought that worried him most when he found her on top of the fridge or trying to scale the side of Sorrel’s crib to “free him” from his “baby jail.” He had to remind himself she was still small, and as much as she could be a little menace, he adored her with his entire heart.

Wisteria looked proud as she bounced on her feet, waving at Gavin to lean down. “It’s a secwet, papa, I have to whispew it.”

He obliged, crouching down until he was at eye level with her.

“I hid her cwayons.”

Gavin blinked, earning a bout of giggles from Wisteria.

Maybe… Maybe less playdates with her uncle Shaw from now on.

“That’s not very nice,” he said, trying to reprimand her even as she continued to snort with laughter. “You need to find her crayons and apologize.”

He didn’t give her a chance to argue since he knew she would try. Somehow all the girls had gotten it into their heads that they were expert negotiators and he couldn’t remember a single decision that they didn’t try to negotiate their way out of.

He scooped her up again, walking quickly through the house and depositing her in front of her bedroom. “Go find the crayons and apologize to your sister, Wisteria.”

She made a face, but didn’t protest as Gavin made his way back to his office. He needed to get back and check his messages, he doubted there was much time until his meeting.

He was greeted to a silent office when he returned, and he closed the door with a sigh. He just needed a little silence to finish up a few things before the meeting started.

But he had barely sat down again when the door was pushed open, Aurora, his oldest, standing in the threshold.

“Papa?” She asked, sounding tentative as she came into the room. She was holding a paper in her hands, and it wobbled with every step she took.

“What’s wrong, sweet potato?” He asked, his hands flattening out against the desk.

“I finished a picture! Do you wanna see?”

“I always want to see.”

Aurora presented a cacophony of colour and shapes that Gavin thought was supposed to be a princess riding on a dragon, but he wasn’t completely sure.

“It’s beautiful,” he said, earning a bright grin that could have outshone the sun.

Little dimples appeared on both of Aurora’s cheeks as she lifted the paper higher. “It’s a princess on a dragon! They’re best friends!”

Gavin was pretty sure he deserved a gold star.

“Oh? And what are their names?”

“This is princess Rose, and her dragon is princess Violet!”

He lifted his brows. “A princess dragon?”

“Of course, papa!” She said, rolling her eyes like it was obvious. “The princess would have a princess dragon!”

Obviously.

He couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “Why don’t you go show mama? I bet she’ll love it.”

“Okay!” She sang, and then she was gone, racing through the house calling for Rowan.

Gavin checked his messages, but was still waiting on a few people, so he went back to scouring the papers in front of him. There were pages of suspects, reports on evidence found, requests for him to submit warrant requests.

He drummed his fingers on the table, rereading the list of evidence found at one of the attack sites. They were chasing down a rogue evolver who kept evading arrest and none of it made sense.

Maybe they had an accomplice? Maybe there were multiple evolvers involved?

He reached for his pen, the pink one Rowan had given him from her own collection of office supplies. It always made the girls giggle when he used it, and it was his wife’s favourite colour, so he used it often. He popped the cap off to make a note on a scrap of paper, but it slipped from his fingers, falling to the floor with a quiet click.

He rolled his chair back so he could lean down to retrieve the cap, only to lock eyes with a pair of wide golden eyes beneath the desk.

He slammed his head against the underside of his desk as his heart ricocheted in his chest, wincing as pain exploded in the back of his head.

“Cordelia!” He gasped, pulling away before he banged his head against the desk again, stars flashing in his vision.

“Papa!” She crawled out from underneath the desk, her pet rock clutched in one hand. “You huwt!”

He rubbed the back of his head as she got to her feet, throwing herself against his leg. “You scared me, tater tot.”

“I sowwy,” she muttered, her bottom lip sticking out. “I wanted a nap with Rocco.”

He stopped himself from asking why she had to have a nap under his desk and not her bed. He was sure there was child logic to it that was escaping him at the moment, but he knew it would come to him in the moments before he fell asleep as it usually did.

“Love,” he said, the ache in his head abating. “You can’t take a nap under my desk. What if I’d kicked you.”

“That’s okay papa,” Cordelia said, patting him in what was probably meant to be a comforting gesture. “I woulda kicked you back.”

That was not comforting in the least.

“Why don’t you go find your sisters,” he said, patting her shoulder. “I bet they’d love to play.”

Cordelia considered him for a moment, tapping her cheek.

Not a good sign.

“No, I wanna stay,” she chirped, toddling to the bookshelf and plunking herself down in front of it.

Gavin pursed his lips as he watched her idly pull at the books on the bottom shelf. She flipped them open then shoved them to the side, making enough space for her to crawl onto the lowest shelf.

“Cordelia, don’t-”

But then Wisteria was running in, screaming at the top of her lungs, her head thrown back as she stopped less than an inch from Gavin.

“Baked potato,” he said, cupping her face trying to calm her down. “What’s going on?”

“GARDENIA TOOK MY DOLLIE.”

A small bump sounded, followed by a quiet ‘ow’ from Cordelia, but Gavin wasn’t able to spare her more than a passing glance to make sure the entire bookshelf hadn’t fallen on top of her because then Gardenia was racing into the room, tears streaming down her face.

“Papa she’s a liar!”

Now Cordelia was up, running to her twin and wrapping her in a big hug. “I made us a fort!”

Gardenia sniffled. “A fort?”

“What about my dollie?!” Wisteria stamped her foot, looking close to tears herself.

“That’s enough,” Gavin said, trying to keep his composure. A ping sounded from his computer, and he didn’t have to look to know it was a message asking if they were all ready for the meeting.

He certainly was not ready, not with nearly all his children in his room being loud.

“Why don’t you go find your dollie, since Gardenia is playing with Cordelia,” Gavin suggested, wiping away Wisteria’s tears, trying to keep his voice even and calm.

Wisteria shook her head, holding her arms up to him. “I wanna sit with you, papa.”

Gavin shook his head, trying to be firm. He needed things quiet, he needed to work. “I have an important meeting, baked potato.”

“Papa, pwease,” Wisteria cried, clinging to his leg, rubbing her face against his jeans. “I wanna cuddle.”

Any resolve he might have had crumbled in an instant. How was he supposed to say no to her?

“Alright,” he said, scooping her up and settling her on his lap. “But you have to be very quiet, okay? I have an important meeting.”

Wisteria nodded, her mood seeming to brighten right away as she snuggled against his chest. “Tank you, papa.”

He kissed the top of her head, rubbing her back as he typed with one hand into the office chat that he was ready to go. Another moment passed by and the annoying, musical chime of the video call flooded the room from the speakers. Wisteria giggled, but Gavin shushed her before accepting the call, doing his best to organize the papers on his desk as the other members slowly joined the call.

“Looks like we have an extra guest here today,” Eli said, smirking as Wisteria beamed at the computer screen.

“Hi Uncle Ewi!” Wisteria said, waving furiously.

“Hey kiddo. Didn’t know we’d recruited you!”

Wisteria turned to Gavin, looking confused. “What’s wecwuited mean?”

“It means we convinced you to do our job.”

Wisteria hummed. “Can I drive the car?”

He snorted. “No baked potato, you’re too short.”

“Why?”

Eli and a few others chuckled on the other side of the scream. “Yeah, Captain, why can’t she drive the car?”

Gavin rolled his eyes, tucking Wisteria against his side as he tried to get down to business. “Okay, enough with the games.”

The conversation sobered up pretty quickly, and for her part, Wisteria was incredibly well behaved. For Wisteria.

Which meant she did try to make paper planes out of the reports on Gavin’s desk, but she wasn’t too loud and she only tried to stick her finger in his ear twice.

But they’d barely begun assigning tasks to the field team when he felt a tug on his arm.

“Papaaaa.”

Eli mimicked Cordelia’s whine, and Gavin considered putting him on desk duty for the month.

“What is it, tater tot,” he murmured, leaning over the side of his chair.

“I wanna have a tea party.”

“Can you wait until I’m done here?”

“Why?”

Snickers rose up from the speakers and Gavin shot a withering look to all of the faces on his screen.

“Because I’m very busy right now. Why don’t you find mama?”

Cordelia pouted, stomping back to her ‘fort.’

But then there was another tug on his leg this time, and he didn’t even have time to look down before Gardenia was scrambling onto his lap beside her sister, clutching him like her life depended on it.

“Another one” Eli laughed, Gardenia giving a shy smile in return. “Hey, kiddo, are you joining the meeting?”

Gardenia flicked her gaze over the different faces on the screen, her small smile never quite meeting her eyes. She looked like she was considering her response carefully.

“Wanted cuddle,” she said, sounding awfully prim for an almost four year old.

 Gavin kissed the top of her head, trying to readjust so he could still reach the keyboard and his papers. “Alright, sweetheart, I need to finish my meeting.”

But that was when it all started going downhill. Because Wisteria launched herself from his lap and raced from the room, giving him a momentary reprieve that he did not realize was the calm before the storm. Gardenia seemed content to cuddle in his arms quietly, but Cordelia had started wandering around, talking loudly to Rocco.

She came up to the desk, waving Rocco in front of the camera and babbling about him helping them before she wandered away to go lie down in her ‘fort.’ And then Gardenia would grumble something unintelligible that sounded an awful lot like she hated Rocco.

And then Wisteria came back, screaming as she threw a stuffed otter and a stuffed axolotl with a princess hat strapped to its pink head.

Gavin whipped his head around just in time to get smacked in the face with the axolotl, blinking as starbursts exploded in his vision.

“They wanted to join, papa!” Wisteria cried, tossing more plushies into the room. “They want a pawty!”

Gavin opened his mouth to reprimand her right as Aurora came in, holding a package of grocery store cupcakes. “Papa, do you want a tea party…” She trailed off as she stared into the room, her eyes zeroing in on the axolotl in his lap.

“Princess Sparkle Rose!” Aurora cried, running towards Gavin and snatching up the plushie. “What are you doing?! We were having a tea party!”

Wisteria grinned, falling back against a pile of plushies she made. “We’re havin’ a pawty.”

Aurora clutched her plushie to her chest, glaring at her sister. “I was having a tea party.”

“We can have one in hewe!”

Aurora spun around, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. “Papa, tell Wisteria…”

She trailed off again as her eyes flicked to the screen, and her expression brightened. “Hi Uncle Eli!”

Aurora clambered onto Gavin’s lap before he could stop her, kicking him in the stomach as she propped her elbows onto the desk.

“I think we should have a tea party!” Aurora sang, wiggling her feet and nearly smacking Gavin again.

Some of the people laughed. “Whatever you say, boss.”

“Aurora, little princess,” Gavin said, trying to lift her from his lap and setting her down. “I have to finish my meeting, okay?”

“But I want a tea party!”

“Once I’m done my work, okay?”

“Booo,” Wisteria cried, stomping up and waving a plushie in front of the camera. “Miss Waddles wants to play!”

Gavin gently pushed her hand away, patting her head. “Why don’t you and Miss Waddles go play in the corner?”

Wisteria booed again before storming back to her little pile and throwing herself against it.

“Wisteria!”

Wisteria sat up instantly, her eyes widening, all thoughts of parties gone.

“Wisteria Faye!”

Gavin pursed his lips, ignoring the shouts of his wife as she searched for Wisteria, trying to focus on what someone in his meeting was saying.

“What did you do?” Aurora hissed, taking Wisteria’s hand.

“Just a pwank,” Wisteria pouted, letting her sister drag her across the room.

“Hide here until mama is gone.”

Gavin wondered if any of the girls realized he was still somewhat paying attention to what they were saying, and that he would certainly rat them out to Rowan if asked.

He knew well enough that he was wrapped around Rowan’s finger and wasn’t about to lie to his wife. He loved her smiles too much, loved when she brushed kisses against his face while running her fingers through his hair.

Gardenia snored quietly in his lap while Cordelia continued to ask if they would have a tea party soon, and did they want to listen to the story she was reading?

This was, of course, a deception. Cordelia couldn’t yet read and was often looking for any opportunity to ensnare a willing listener before she began telling them about the very long and detailed history of rocco and rocco’s misadventures with the assortment of bugs that lived in their backyard. And the few bugs that had very briefly lived in Cordelia and Gardenia’s room until Aurora had found them out and Gavin had banished them back out into nature.

Everyone had heard these stories, and he’d often joked with Rowan that one of them ought to write them all down, maybe try to get his brother’s help with a few illustrations. They were certain it would be a hit with children everywhere.

“No, ‘delia,” Aurora admonished, making Gavin nearly snort as he struggled to hold his laughter. “We have to hide Wisteria.”

Cordelia whined very loudly, but her little feet stomped away from the bookshelf and right up to Gavin as the sound of shuffling books and plushies filled the room.

“Papa, wanna hear bout Rocco?”

Gavin patted Cordelia’s head, his attention once again stolen from what was supposed to be a very important meeting.

“I dunno boss, I kind of want to hear about Rocco.”

Gavin pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing as deeply as he could. “As I was saying, we should have a few men out on patrol around-”

“Papa!” Cordelia cried, tugging on his arm. “My Rocco story!”

“I’ve heard your Rocco story, tater tot,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

“I haven’t!”

Gavin moved his cursor over Eli’s profile, muting it before he could say anything else ridiculous.

“Papaaa.”

Gavin sighed again, leaning down to draw Cordelia into his lap. Maybe if he held her she would be a little calmer.

But he’d only just straightened when Rowan came in, flour coating her like a second skin. It was caked to her face, and a powdery white haze seemed to follow her as she moved.

“What happened?” He asked, making to stand before he remembered he was holding the twins on his lap.

She shook her head, her shoulders slumping a little. “Don’t ask.”

“Is it about Wisteria?”

Rowan pursed her lips. “I think so.”

Ah. That would explain the shouting and the hiding.

“I heard them shouting in here so I thought I’d come grab them,” Rowan said, scooping Cordelia from his lap first. “I know you’re busy.”

Cordelia whimpered as Rowan drew her into her arms. “But papa.”

“You can play with papa later,” Rowan murmured, kissing Cordelia’s head before gently plucking the sleeping Gardenia and resting her against her other hip. “He’s very busy right now.”

“But Rocco.”

“Why don’t you tell me about Rocco, little princess. I’d love to hear it.”

Cordelia brightened up instantly, babbling away about the dramatic life of her pet rock. Aurora chased after them, waving her favourite plushies in the air, chattering along with Cordelia and asking if they could make cookies later.

Gavin waited until the sound of their voices grew muffled before turning back to his computer, his office quiet for the first time in what felt like hours.

He unmuted Eli, trying to return to business at hand. “I’m sorry-”

“Aaaw, you didn’t let me say hi to the missus.”

Gavin muted Eli for the rest of the meeting.

He was surprised at how quickly they were able to get through everything they needed to discuss once his office had been cleared out. They went over the requests for warrants, evidence already found, and a few other cases that needed to be looked at.

Gavin felt satisfied as he ended the call, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms as he stared at the chat screen for a moment. They’d gotten quite a bit done in that meeting, even if it had gone on a little longer than he’d hoped. And now all he had to do was finish up the paperwork currently flooding his desk.

He hummed mindlessly, a song Rowan sang to the children when she was putting them down for their naps. His pen scratched against the paper, pink, scrawling script quickly filling up all the space on the paper before him. He would write up rough information today, then get an early start tomorrow and type it all up. That way he’d be able to take a look at what he’d written with fresh eyes before submitting anything.

He grinned, wondering if Rowan would be proud of him. If she’d cup his face in her hands and tell him that was such a good idea and she was so happy he was her husband.

He was so caught up in his daydream that he almost didn’t notice the dull thunk of something falling to the ground behind him.

Almost.

Gavin set down his pen, pushing his chair back so he could get a good look at where the sound was coming from. There was a book lying on the floor a few feet from the bookshelf, surrounded by a pile of plushies that had been abandoned in the room by the girls. He frowned, standing up so he could retrieve it, wondering how it could have fallen.

Maybe there was something stuck in the shelf? Maybe it hadn’t been put back right?

He froze as another book fell from the shelf.

No, fell wasn’t the right word. Shoved.

And then another, and another. And then the mountain of plushies came tumbling down and Wisteria poked her head out from the bottom shelf, grinning up at him. She reminded him of the little imps and pixies that adorned the pages of one of Aurora’s favourite fairy tale books. Sweetness and mischief dancing together in tandem in her bright eyes.

“Can we have a tea party now?” She asked, crawling out from her hidey hole.

Gavin turned back to his paperwork, to everything that still needed to be done, then back to his daughter and her pleading eyes and her impish smile and the little dimples on her rosy cheeks.

He scooped her up, spinning her around and around until she was squealing with laughter, her legs kicking out behind her.

He’d done enough work for today. He wanted to spend time with his family. The paperwork could wait. He wanted his wife, he wanted to play with his children.

He slowed down, cradling Wisteria close as he shouldered open the office door. “Let’s go get your sisters.”

“For a tea party?”

He ruffled her hair as she laughed. “Yes, for a tea party.”

“With cookies? And the pretty pink tea mama has?”

“With whatever you want.”

Wisteria squealed again, wiggling in his arms as he called out for the other girls and for Rowan. He smiled when he heard their shouts and the sound of their feet racing towards him. Their laughter wasn’t muffled now, dulled by the closed door of his office. It was bright, it was loud, and it filled his heart with sunshine until it was overflowing, and then it fizzed through his blood like champagne, or like that sweet bubbly wine Rowan bought for brunch with her friends.

He felt warm, he felt a little dizzy, and he felt so happy he thought stars were blooming in his heart, an entire galaxy of light and warmth and brightness inside of him.

“What is it?” Aurora asked, poking her head from the kitchen as the squeal of the twins could be heard overhead as they raced for the stairs.

Gavin crouched down and drew her into a tight hug. “Pick out your favourite teas, sweet potato. We’re going to have a tea party.”

[tomtenadia]

Remember us - part 4

Hello lovelies,

It’s Thursday evening and I have some angst coming your way :)

Please enjoy part 4 of Remember Us

CW: mention of depression and miscarriage

--------

Rowan had the week from hell. Rehab had been relentless and Dorian had taken him to the gym everyday, but at least now he could say that he was able to walk the length of the walking bars and back. In the last couple of days Dorian had pushed for him to start using crutches, insinuating to the fact that the doctor was thinking about discharging him.

On top of the pain from rehab he was still punishing himself for what had happened with Aelin. Every morning he woke up and the first thing he did was to look at his phone for a reply from her, but nothing ever came.

The doctors think they might discharge me in a few days. Dorian is making me a pro at using crutches.

Maybe a good news might cheer her up.

He tried to watch tv but lost interest very quickly so he went back to his phone. He had been reading the whole thread of messaged between him and Aelin and discovered some interesting tidbits. They bickered a lot but from the text messages it looked as if they would always make up in the end. He also found some texts that made him blush wildly. But what was always present was love. That he knew was real.

He was absorbed in the texts that he did not notice the woman who had entered his room.

She was blonde, the same golden shade that Aelin had.

“Hi Rowan,” she greeted him walking fully into the room “I brought you your favourite biscuits. Hospital food is atrocious.”

The stranger placed the box on the nightstand “orange oatmeal cookies.”

He looked at her puzzled.

“I am Evalin. I am Aelin’s mum and your mother in-law.”

Rowan straightened his back, wanting to make a good impression, realising a moment later that the woman knew him already.

She took a seat on the chair near his bed “how are you doing?”

He had good vibes from the woman and he was impressed just how much her daughter resembled her “Adjusting…discovering new things that are not actually new.”

Evalin patted his knee “are any memories coming back?”

“I had a couple. All related to moments with Aelin.” He paused, sighed and gathered the courage to ask about Aelin. He hadn’t her from Aelin in a week “How is she doing? I haven’t heard from her in a week.”

Evalin hesitated “she is not well. She had been off from work the whole week.”

Rowan worried. Without realising it he felt a pang of fear rise in him “is it the pregnancy?”

Evalin nodded “partly. She has been very stressed this last month which has been hard on her and the baby.”

He threw his head backwards and leaned into the pillow “and it doesn’t help that I pile on with my stupidity.”

“She told me what happened.” The woman said quietly and he had a feeling that all of a sudden she had lost all of her respect for him “It must be scary to be in your position right now.” she admitted “I can see that you were just trying to protect my daughter, because the heart is a treacherous thing and I don’t think Aelin would survive loosing you completely and again.” The woman’s eyes were on him now “As a mother who loves her daughter and her grandchildren deeply and accepted you like a son… all I am asking is to give it a try.” She took his hand in hers “I know I am asking a lot of you, but you two used to hate each other and look where you got in the end.”

“What if I am not anymore the man she loves? I am scared that something might have broken in me and I don’t want to hurt her or the kids.”

Evalin squeezed his hand “listen to your heart, what does it tell you?”

“Try.” He whispered and he knew it was true “if I tell you something will you promise you will not think of me as crazy?”

Evalin shook her head.

“When I saw her the first time, I could not recognise her, but my body somehow did. I felt a tug… as if something pulled me to her. I don’t know how to explain it. There was a sense of familiarity.” He explained, thinking he sounded like a complete lunatic, but Evalin smiled deeply at him.

“I think it was your soul recognising its other half.” And she chuckled “my husband used to tell me I was an hopeless romantic.”

“I dreamed our wedding day, the day both kids were born and some other moments with her have come back.”

“And how do they make you feel?”

“There is always love. I am sure Aelin and I had our bad days but the memories coming back so far are all happy.” He told the woman.

“Then treasure those feelings.”

They stood in silence for a moment then Rowan spoke again “can I ask you something?”

Evalin nodded.

“Aelin mentioned that before having Thomas and Freyja we had problems and lost as well. How bad was it?”

He wasn’t sure if he should talk about it but he wanted, needed to know. He needed to know more about his relationship with Aelin and Evalin seemed very keen to indulge him.

“You started trying after you got married. You were both obsessed about having a big family so you started straight away. But it took Aelin a year to get pregnant.” She told him and he could see the heartbreak in the woman “you lost the first baby in the first trimester. But the second one happened during her fifth month. She woke up one night bleeding heavily and you lost your baby girl. It destroyed you both.”

Evalin paused, giving him time to absorb the facts “Aelin was heartbroken and you were just the same. And your marriage suffered quite badly, but slowly you both found your way back together. Thomas arrived a year later.”

Rowan listened and he felt a stab of pain in his heart. How did they survive such pain?

“You both went through something more horrific, and I am positive you will survive this too. You have to.” The woman stood and placed her bag back on her shoulder “next time you see Aelin, talk to her. Tell her about your fears. Let her in Rowan, she is your wife.”

She was about to leave when she stopped and pulled something from her bag. It was a piece of paper “Thomas did this for you.”

Rowan took the paper and saw it was a messy drawing of his family. The four of them were all there “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Evalin smiled and left the room, leaving Rowan on his own.

He thought about his options and realised that he had none. They were his family and in that moment they were all he knew. He had no idea if he had any friends close enough who would take him in. And who would do that anyway? He was a burden. But Aelin had offered him a home. A family. And eventually love. Maybe Evalin was right, maybe with time and patience he could learn to love her again. He just hoped he was not too late.

*

Aelin woke up from her afternoon nap and found her mother playing with Thomas. Freyja was napping as well on the sofa, her soft toy close to her chest, her blanket wrapped around her and a pacifier in her mouth. She looked serene.

Thomas was building something with lego. His father was obsessed with the colourful bricks and he had bought huge quantities and they would sit and build for hours.

“What are you building, Tom?”

“Our house.”

She ruffled his blonde hair and went to sit opposite her mother.

“How are you doing?”

Aelin sighed “the nausea stopped, but I still feel exhausted.”

“You should go back to bed.”

Aelin shook her head “If I keep sleeping I will not be able to do so tonight.”

Evalin took a sip of her tea “I went to see Rowan this morning.”

Aelin froze. She had retyped and deleted the reply to him countless times now. She had wanted to tell him she was scared too. Tell him that she knew it was hard for him and that she was ready to stay at his side and help him. They would find their way back. They always did even during the darkest moments of their marriage when she pushed him away because she thought the pain was only hers, Rowan had fought to be back at her side. Together they rose from the abysm and their bond grew even stronger.

“How is he doing?”

“Your husband needs you at his side. He is lost, and confused.”

“He told me to move on. He told he might not want to be my husband anymore.” She snapped, her heart aching.

“Have you considered that he might have said that to protect you? He is afraid you will not love the man that will come out of this ordeal. He thinks that by leaving him he will protect this family.”

Aelin sobbed, her face in her hands “I miss him so much.” Her sobs grew in intensity.

Thomas noticed his mother cry and walked to her and gave Aelin a hug “don’t cry, mum.”

“I am fine, Tom. Go back playing with lego.” She kissed his blonde hair and sent him back on the carpet.

“I know you are the doctor,” started Evalin caressing her sleeping granddaughter’s silver hair “but I did some reading and it seems like sensorial stimulation might help trigger the memories.”

Aelin nodded “He has his phone back with all the photos and the texts.” She took a deep breath “he texted me saying that the doctor might discharge him in a few days and I don’t know what to do.”

Evalin gave her a dashing smile “you are taking your husband back to this home where he belongs.”

Aelin felt fear at the idea “have you thought how the kids will feel at seeing their dad that way? I can’t put them through that.”

Her mother placed a hand on her knee in comfort “have you thought about the fact that being surrounded by a familiar environment might be best way to help him?”

She had not. All she had been thinking since that text had been her children. She wanted him back. There was no doubt about it. But she had to protect them. She was an adult and could endure the pain. They could not. They had no idea what was happening.

“You could explain to Thomas what happened and ask him to help you to get his dad back.”

Her boy, her wonderful boy, she could not do that to him. Her hands shook in fear.

“Aelin, he needs his family. All of us.”

She stood abruptly “he should go and stay with friends. Lorcan perhaps.”

Evalin stood as well and joined her “He and Elide have a baby who is only a few months old, they will not take him in. And they cannot help. He needs us. He needs all of this.” Her arms extended to indicate the house around them.

“He might not want this.” Aelin snarled “he made it quite clear.”

Evalin loved her daughter but she had inherited her father’s stubbornness. But if Aelin was stubborn, she was on another level “Aelin, you are going back to work tomorrow. You march in your husband’s room and tell him that he is coming home. Where he belongs. And don’t fight me on this.”

Aelin knew her mother had her best interest at heart. She was the one who had dragged her out of the abysm she had thrown herself into after they lost their daughter. After she had pushed Rowan away, Evalin had been at her side. Helping through the pain of the loss, fighting her depression with her. Slowly she had made her realise that Rowan was hurting too. That the pain was his as well and that he could be the one pulling her out completely. In the end they had helped each other.

To whatever end.

It was their pact, their promise.

An oath that went deeper than a I love you.

It was a thread that bound their souls together.

To whatever end.

[authortango]

A Review of Mirrored in Evergreen by B.A. Pigeon

Mirrored in Evergreen is a LGBTQ+ indie novel by B. Pigeon about Rosemary, who becomes an apprentice to a mysterious wizard. The story starts the second to last week of his apprenticeship, where, after several foreshadowing dreams about the wizard, Rosemary becomes cursed in a way where everyone he ever knew, including his partner, Rowan, is also cursed to forget him. The book follows Rosemary’s strange relationships with the partner he used to know, as well as a new cast of characters who may or may not be helping Rosemary figure out his curse.

There are mild spoilers in my review ahead, so if you don’t want anything spoiled be sure to read the book before my review! You can get it on Amazon on paperback or Kindle. I personally bought paperback because I don’t own Kindle products and I love physical books. Click Keep Reading to read the review!

Let’s get into the review. I’m going to be real: the beginning of the book is a little slow. The first chapter helps us familiarize ourselves with what Rosemary has been doing in his apprenticeship, which is, frankly, nothing but gardening and studying in the library. Even though he’s at the wizard’s house to learn magic, the wizard has forbidden him from performing magic. So the first two chapters are of Rosemary being bored, and also fretting about his partner Rowan and why they haven’t answered any of his letters. Because I didn’t understand Rosemary or any of his motives from the beginning of the book, it was a little hard to relate to them as a character. But as the book moves on and things start happening to Rosemary, his reactions really draw you into the story and you start to want the same answers he does as he explores his relationship with the wizard and his curse.

This book has a lot of LGBT+ representation, but I love that it is not the main part of the story. The main plot of the book is the curse and the way magic works in this, as I understand it, urban fantasy world, but Pigeon also writes convincing personal relationships between all of the characters, both good and bad. Rosemary and Rowan’s romance and the gravity of their relationship become more apparent as Rosemary pines to reveal to Rowan that he knows everything about them. Additionally, the myriad of relationships we experience through Siobahn, the mediocre healer, is, frankly, a whirlwind. The girl is messy.

 I also want to draw attention that this is the first book I’ve read with nonbinary representation, and I just love the continued unfolding about Rowan’s appearance and mannerisms as we get to know him for the first time. I really loved the descriptions and interactions of all the characters, and hopefully in the future I will be drawing how I interpreted them as I read.

Along with writing excellent relationships and LGBTQ+ representation, I really love how Pigeon writes the individual characters themselves. They’re complex in a way where their emotions are human and their motives are constantly unclear and I loved it. Again, I want to point out Siobahn, who never did what I expected or wanted her to. My initial impression is that possibly, she would be a mother figure to Rosemary, or, eventually she would soften and start to care for both Rowan and Rosemary, and they would become friends. This did not happen, and to be honest? I’m really glad that didn’t happen. It made for a more interesting relationship and constantly kept me guessing about what Siobahn wanted and how she was helping or hindering Rosemary.

Speaking of things going a way that you don’t expect them to, a lot of questions Rosemary has about the wizard go unanswered. This may be unsatisfying for some readers who like when every loose end gets wrapped up, and sometimes I’m on that boat. But actually I really liked that some questions went unanswered in this story, because now I have room to create theories about what’s going on, and boy do I have several. 

First of all - everyone tells Rosemary, and Rosemary tells himself all throughout the book that he’s a shit wizard. However,  I think they’re all gaslighting him, to the point where it’s ingrained in him to gaslight themselves about their own magic capabilities. In the couple of instances where he does do magic, it seems like he scares everyone, and I just get the feeling that he and Rowan both have an immense amount of power that nobody expected. I think the wizard prevents him from doing magic for that reason, aside from the possible theory Rowan comes up with. I also think that Rosemary’s power is why Rowan doesn't think he’s a shit wizard, and that it's bullshit. Even when they’ve forgotten Rosemary, they can sense a lot about him, and I really think that Rosemary and Rowan could become super powerful magicians together. 

Second, after reading the entire book and weaving in and out of Rosemary’s dreams, memories, and real-life fears, I’m going to make a leap at this point and say that Celestin, the wizard, and Rosemary’s nightmares about being trapped by him are a parallel and direct metaphor of his issues with his father and what his father thinks is best for him. It becomes apparent that Rosemary’s father has been an antagonist in Rosemary’s life for a while, and that Rosemary wishes very much to be in control of his own life, whether that means practicing magic or not. What’s stopping him is the fear of returning to his father with his apprenticeship unfinished, actually proving that he’s incompetent at magic, and therefore not receiving the aid he needs in order to be his own person. And, y’know, it doesn’t help that his dad is friends with an asshole who just randomly traumatizes and curses his students. Actually, an interesting fact is that Rowan had a theory that Celestin abuses students into reaching their full, magical potential, but actually it may be the opposite, and that anything he deems unworthy of magic he traumatizes into never practicing again.

Though not large enough to be their own theories, Celestin’s past students and the potential with Siobahn’s relationships and her intentions throughout the entire book have so many different ways they could have gone or could continue to go. I’m just constantly thinking about what could have happened between Siobahn and Alexis, Caspian, and Mariela, or what more we could’ve found out about why Siobahn wants revenge on Celestin, or more details about what happened to his former students and their curses. Overall, Siobahn was such a wildcard that I think about what if she had done things differently, as there’s just a myriad of decisions she could’ve made and so many outcomes she could have landed on. 

Overall, this book had the perfect amount of imagery, interesting and realistic character interactions, and emotion for me. I did really enjoy my read and all the different theories about Rosemary’s curse made me want to figure it out with them. And I really felt satisfied with the rekindling of the romance and the heady climax of this book. Everything just came together really well, and I’m looking forward to checking out the rest of Pigeon’s books. My one question at the end of the book is - does Rosemary get the money he’s owed from his father somehow in the end? Not by confrontation but maybe just like, accessing the will through the law? I would have loved an epilogue about Rosemary and Rowan having run away, dealing with the aftermath of their experience together, while still traumatized and puzzling over the curse and Celestin’s house. I think they would be continuously watching for signs of Celestin or even Siobahn coming back to curse them, and it would be interesting to see if Rosemary would choose to do magic, and continue to get stronger with Rowan, studying with each other and teaching each other, or if Rosemary would decide to abandon magic altogether. 

[hogwartsmysteryfanfics]

She used to be mine-One Shot

Word Count:1578 Genre: Angst, a lot of angst, suppressed feelings and jealously

Pairing: Bill Weasley x MC x Charlie Weasley

Before you start reading: make sure to listen to this song later down in the story, when Bill sits at a piano! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt73pYw2o9Q)

Anon: Please can u write a fanfic about Bills feelings towards MC in the future when shes married to Charlie and he is with Fleur? Like he is in love with her and he feels sad every time his brother and MC are together with him, with angst, something like that!

A/N: I’m so sorry for any English mistakes that I probably made. English isn’t my first language, but I tried! I hope you like it anon and it was what you hoped for. It was also the first request I had, so special thank you!!!! Also, requests are open! I promise I’ll do the best that I can! Only for the Hogwarts Mystery characters tho (At least for now!!)

------------------------------------------------------------------- It was late-night afternoon at the Borrow. The Weasley family was gathered around included Charlie and Y/N which they had just arrived from Romania for the Christmas Holidays.

Bill is looking kind of sad, Y/N noticed. He was at his second glass of whisky already. Whenever they were just the two of them, he was the casual, cool and fun Bill she had met years ago at Hogwarts. But when the family was around, he looked kind of distant, cold. She questioned if there was any problem in his relationships with Fleur, but... Fleur would tell her.

“I’m going to see what’s wrong with your brother” Y/N whispered at her husband’s ear, leaving a small kiss on his neck.

Charlie smiled and nodded as he told her to be right back because he wanted her near him.  After all these years, and he still looked at her with so much love in his eyes.

Y/N got up and went over to the sofa Bill was sitting.

“Hey love, is something wrong? You look sadder than usual when we gather all together. You have the Christmas blues again?”

Bill didn’t answer directly. His mind was off, thinking about other things.

----

6 years ago, at Charlie’s and Y/N wedding. She had called him in her chambers to talk to him, because she was a nervous mess and he was the only one who knew what exactly to say to calm her. When he walked through the door he was stunned.

“She’s beautiful huh?” Rowan mentioned greeting him and leaving the room

“She’s stunning” Bill murmured to himself.

“Oh my god Bill thank god you are here” Y/N breathed and rushed over to hug him.

“I know it’s supposed to be the happiest day of my life, but I’m worried, and anxious. Is it the right thing to do? I mean I love Charlie, I really do, with all my heart. But what if we are too young? We have so much more to experience. Last year we were at Hogwarts!” She was bubbled nonstop causing Bill to laugh. He sat there for a long time trying to reassure and comfort her, and once again he succeed.

She smiled kindly and thanked him, taking him again in another tight hug. But this hug felt different she thought. Bills hands was lower at her back as usual and she held her like he didn’t want to let her go. She smiled as she thought that he was nervous as well, for his little brother and her- his best friend all those years.

“You know... when I was thinking about you being a Weasley I didn’t think it would be like that”

Y/N was confused. “W-what do you mean?  Is something wrong with my hair? My face? What is it!”

He smiled with melancholy in his eyes. She was completely oblivious to his true feelings.

“No... nothing like that! You look perfect. I just always fantasized about throwing a huge event for you at the Borrow to make you an official member of our family, without necessary Charlie involved” he lied jokingly.

He placed a small kiss on her chick letting her out of his grip and walking out of the room. He was going to the alter, to see the woman he loved secretly all these years, to get married to his brother, and not him.

~~

Some months after the wedding, in a hung out with Rowan and Barbary at the Leaky Cauldron, he heard for the first time in his life, that Y/N had a huge crush on him -even love stated Rowan, in her first years at Hogwarts. But all these feelings was buried deep down when Bill asked her to talk to Emily Tyler for him. She was completely heartbroken and from this day on she swore to herself that the only thing Bill was and could ever be was her best friend and the brother she missed.

Bill was shocked when he heard this. His teenage self was completely oblivious about his best friends’ feelings. He cursed himself for being too blind to see and noticed his own towards her when it was too late. She was at her 5 year and he at his last. He couldn’t do something. Firstly cause he was afraid she wouldn’t want him back, secondly cause he was going to graduate and it could be selfish of his side to have a long distance relationship and not be there for her when she had a lot going on in her life and needed him near him, and last but not least, he was aware of the crush Charlie had on Y/N since his first year. So, he decided to wait till she graduates and come to Egypt as they have promised, for their new Curse Breaking adventures together. Then... he would confess his feelings and he was sure that one day he would marry her. He would do anything to be with her.

But the years past, Y/N graduate, and when she went to Egypt she was still in a relationship with Charlie, which they had started at the beginning of their 6th year at Hogwarts. When he wasn’t there. And months later.. they were going to marry each other. He wouldn’t believe it... he tried to draw these feelings, but they just wouldn’t go away. She was his brother’s girlfriend for god’s sake!

But if he knew.... if he knew sooner that she had feelings for him in the past, and she looked past them caring only for their friendship, because she thought that he didn’t feel the same, then things would be different now. She would be with him. She would sleep with him every night. She would kiss him every morning. She would sit next to him, at the family gatherings. It would be him that she loved -more than a friend and more than a brother.

---

“Hey... Bill I’m talking to you... are you okay mate?”

By the sound of her voice he snapped back into reality. He looked at her with desire and he was glad to see her worrying about him, and not Fleur. Yes, this thought was bad, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Bill darling, why don’t you play a song at the piano? I haven’t heard you play a long time now... I missed it” Molly Weasley said to her son noticing how he looked at his brother’s wife.

She knew. Of course, she knew. Bill had told her everything and although she was glad for her second oldest son and Y/N, the first time Bill had brought her to the Borrow, knew there was a special connection between them, making her sad for Bill.

As a good mum that she was, tried to make up his mind about how he should move on, go to a different path because Y/N loved Charlie, and Charlie love her. She thought that this final realization would make him forget about the inappropriate romantic feelings he had. But seeing him looking at her like that- she knew those feelings were still there.

So, before her nearly drunk firstborn says or do something stupid, she took the matter on her own hands.

“Uhm I don’t know mum. There’s a long time since I played”

“Oh, come on mon amour, at home you play a specific melody all the time! But you never sing. Play that!” Fleur said happily going over to Bill to get him up the sofa.

Y/N giggled and looked at him teasingly

“It better be good William; I don’t want to lose my hearing”

She sat down next to Charlie, and all the family looked at Bill as he started playing the melody of “She used to be mine”.

He played with so much passion as he started singing. He could feel every word through his bones, as the words slipped his mouth. He didn’t dare to look over her-although he wanted it so much. He knew that would see Charlies serious gaze, or angry even!

Charls didn’t hear it from anyone. But he had noticed how Bill was around Y/N every time, how he looked at her, how he was more himself around her. And the lyrics of this song proved his thoughts. It was so obvious to him that it was directly for her.

But they were brothers, and they loved each other. And as long Bill didn’t do anything to ruin what Y/N and him had, he wasn’t going to do anything. Besides he was with Fleur! Charlie was sure that Bill was overacting. But that didn’t stop the jealously running through his veins every time.

She is messy, but she's kind

She is lonely most of the time

She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie

She is gone, but she used to be mine

 Bill finished the song and immediately left the room.

“Mon dieu, excuse him, his mind is off to a problem at work, I’ll go to him!” Fleur said and followed her husband.

Y/N looked Charlie with concern in her eyes, motivating him to go after his brother as well.

‘’He’ll be fine. Fleur is with him” he replied silently, trying to get rid of the fury in his voice.

The rest of the evening went off rather well for the rest of the group, with conversations about unique muggle objects who had once again drawn Arthur’s attention, the upcoming Quidditch World Cup and the moving of Charlie’s and Y/N in Hogsmeade.

[proseandpeonies]

Prompt: Rowaelin! College au, she runs into him at a bar, they have a one night stand, and the next day she finds out he’s the grad student TA for her class. Or anything with rowaelin and college

@aelin-godkiller you have no idea how much joy answering this gives me! This is my first completed work since August, I think… idk. Also, this is about 2/3 smut so I hope you enjoy.

My Writing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aelin was truly, deeply fucked. The tall, silver-haired manacross the bar had been checking her out every five minutes (she’d been doingthe same, if not more frequently), and if one of them didn’t get the balls toapproach the other in the next minute, Aelin was going to scream. He sat at atall table, occasionally talking to the equally handsome man across from him. Aelinhad thought initially that they were on a date, but then Tall and Handsome hadkept looking her over with a gaze that was simply indecent. Aelin had met hisgaze a few times, even raising her drink at him when she had been feelingparticularly ballsy.

She’d pointedly ignoredevery other invitation to dance the whole evening, from men and women and thosein between, but still, she hadn’t gotten the nerve to approach him. It wasn’tthat she was scared of his rejection, no one in recent memory had turned downone of her prepositions, but it was more that she felt … Rusty.

Her relationship with Chaol had ended months ago (tragically),and with the exceptions of a few drunken gropings in the back of various clubsand bars throughout Wendlyn, she’d remained pathetically celibate. Patheticallyand depressingly celibate, her days filled with classes at the University of Wendlynand her nights spent at whatever bar was closest. She’d done anything to distractherself, but up until this night, she hadn’t sought distraction in someone else.Aelin grimaced down at her gin and tonic, tilting it side to side, watching theice clink against the sides of the glass. She was Aelin Galathynius, for gods’sake, people would kill to be or fuck her. She could do anyone and anything,and she’d be damned if—

“Am I bothering you?”

Aelin didn’t let her surprise showas Tall and Handsome stepped up to her barstool, his silver hair glinting inthe dim light. His smile was small, timid almost, but she could tell he wasn’tunconfident. There was something about his easy grace and strong body told herthat he knew how attractive he was. Funny, she did too.

               “Not atall.” Aelin grinned, and took a sip of her gin, “I thought I was going to haveto draw a picture to get you over here.”

The man laughed, and it was deep and warm and reminded Aelinof honey.

“You know, you could’ve come to me.” Tall and Handsome had therolling accent of someone from Doranelle.

Aelin tsked and tilted her head. Truly, she was fucked. Hissilver hair was swept back into a neat bun at the back of his head, a fewstrands slipping out to frame his face. A black, inky tattoo that was writtenin the Old Language flowed from beneath his gray oxford up and over his jaw tocurl around his left temple. And his eyes, gods his eyes, they were the deepestgreen she’d ever seen. As she gave him the once-over, she considered what tosay next.

               “Iwouldn’t want to give you the satisfaction,” she decided.

He smiled and extended a large, calloused hand, which shetook, “I’m Rowan.”

“Aelin,” she purred, “Lovely to meet you.” It was so, so lovely.

He quirked a brow, his smilewidening.

Aelin grunted as Rowan slammed heragainst the door of her apartment, his hands spreading her thighs as he kissed herlike she’d never been kissed. Gods, he was strong. Strong enough to lift her 5’9,muscled frame and slam her against a door like she was nothing.

“Fuck’s sake, Rowan,” she moaned. But he didn’t stop, he wasbusy kissing and sucking his way down her neck, biting when he felt like it.How the fuck he’d figured she was into that, she didn’t know.

He had her pinned, all of his body pressed against her, andthe scent of his cologne, piney and masculine, went straight to her head. Aelinrolled her hips against his in a desperate attempt for some release against thethrobbing in her core.

Aelin brought his mouth to hers, slipping her tongue throughhis parted lips. He tasted like bourbon and mint and Aelin felt fire streakthrough her when he canted his hips up against hers, grinding his cock againsther core. This was what she needed, what she had been wanting for too long. Adistraction, a heady, warm distraction that would make her feel something besidesanger and guilt and rage.

Rowan pulled away, tugging the strap of her dress off andexposing her breast. She watched as he pressed soft, almost tender kissesaround her breast before finally slipping her raised nipple into his mouth. Shetossed back her head, his lips and tongue evoking needy little moans that she couldn’tcontain. He pulled away and nipped and bit at her other breast, alternatingfrom soft kisses to sharp bites.

Aelin slid the hand that wasn’t clinging to his shoulderthrough his hair, freeing it from the tie at the back. He began to pull awayfrom her breast, but she gave his hair a quick yank, pressing him back.

Rowan laughed aroundher breast, but then raised his head.

“Where’s the bedroom?” His voice was low and gravely, hislips shining.

Aelin unwrapped her legs from around his waist and took hishand, tugging him behind her as she made way to her bedroom. If she stumbled neitherof them mentioned it.

The second the stepped into her bedroom, Aelin was on him.She slanted her mouth over his, moaning against his tongue. Rowan slid hisenormous hands beneath her thighs and lifted her up, walking back towards herbed. There was no ceremony from Rowan when he tossed her down, but Aelin didn’tmind. She didn’t want to think about anything but pleasure tonight.

Aelin stared up from the bed at Rowan, making sure he was watchingwhen she pulled up the tight skirt of her dress, slowly exposing the v of herlegs and her lack of underthings.

“Fuck,” Rowan rumbled, sliding a hand up her leg, “Do you alwaysgo out like that?”

Aelin rolled her eyes and tugged her dress all the way off.Men were sometimes so slow.

“Did you see this dress?” She tossed it at him, smiling as hiseyes widened at her bare body. “It would have shown ever little line!”

Rowan shook his head as he laughed, his long hair messy fromher hands. Rowan wasted no time as he tugged off his shirt, undoubtedly poppinga few buttons in the process. Aelin let her hands wander as he stripped, squeezingher breasts and sliding a trembling finger over her clit. When Rowan stood barebefore her, Aelin let out a soft, breathy moan. His body was strong and dark-skinned, the hard ridges of his muscles taking her breath. She parted her legsas she looked at his aching cock, allowing herself to imagine what it would feellike inside of her.

Rowan leaned down between her legs, parting them with reverenthands, “Can I?”

Aelin smirked and gave him a slow nod.

He began by kissing up her thigh with hot open-mouthed kisseshat teased her to no end, his hands massaging her flesh. There was somethingincredibly heady about watching his head move between her legs, it made herfeel powerful and beautiful and—

“Fucking hell!” Aelin’s hips bucked as he finally slantedhis mouth over her core. He slipped her legs over his shoulders, and she dugher heels into his muscled back, the feeling of him and his tongue too much tobear. Her back was arching off the bed almost immediately. Rowan let out a lowmoan, the vibrations from it sending little shock waves through her.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he groaned, his lips shining withher slick.

Aelin usually preferred her partners to abstain from dirtytalk, but something about his voice made her a little more inclined towards it. Rowan slid his tongue to her entrance, givingher slow, deep strokes that left her gasping. Aelin grabbed a fistful of hishair, her hips bucking and undulating against him. She could feel herselfquickly approaching climax, and she began to cry out in jumbled gasps.

He began to grind against her clit, two of his long, thickfingers scissoring inside her, and Aelin let go of coherence, “Don’t- don’tstop!”

She felt the heat of her orgasm spread from her centerthroughout her body, and Aelin moved to cover her mouth with a hand, but was stoppedby Rowan, who was still working her through her orgasm.

Aelin let herself cry out, hoping that her neighbors wouldn’tthink she was being murdered.

When it was all too much, she tugged him up, not even caringthat when he kissed her, she could taste herself on his lips. She slid her handdown the ridges of his abs, scratching her long nails against the v of hiships. Rowan gasped against her mouth, his eyes squeezing shut when she wrappedher small hand around his length. Aelin pulled away from his mouth and beganpeppering his jaw and neck with soft kisses, enjoying the sounds she waswringing from him with each twist of her wrist. Rowan tilted his head down to lookwhere she stroked him and let out something she assumed was the Old Language.

After a moment, he stopped her hand, his grip gentle butfirm, “I want you to come at least two more times before I do, princess.”

Aelin laughed and let him go, but didn’t let his littlenickname go by unpunished. Before he could react, she pressed the pad of herthumb over the slit of his cock, once, twice, until—

“Gods above, Aelin, stop.” He pulled her hand away, his voiceloud and commanding. Aelin met his dark stare and held it.

“Make me, prince.”She said the words with more than enough venom.

Rowan let out what could’ve been a growl and pushed her upthe bed, knocking her hands away as he positioned his cock at her entrance.

“Come on, Rowan, I—”

Aelin let out a scream as he pushed in, his length thick andlong and more than she’d ever had before. Aelin arched her back, her handsscratching against the skin of Rowan’s back. She was sure she’d left marks.

Rowan rumbled out a laugh and pressed lazy, soothing kissesalong her neck.

“Did that work?”

Aelin rolled her hips, having already adjusted to him, “Perfectly.”

But she was a bit pissed at his too satisfied tone. Aelinwrapped her legs around his back and shoved, hard. Rowan grunted as she slammedhim onto his back.

He gazed up at her, a little shocked, but Aelin could tellhe was pleased. She grabbed his left hand, which was also decorated by thestrange tattoo, and placed it against her breast. He got the idea quickly, andbegan pinching and massaging her aching breast. Aelin lifted herself thenallowed gravity to bring them back together. The moved as two opposite forces,Aelin pulling, Rowan pushing, and she was becoming dizzy with the feel of him.She ground her clit against him, her breath coming in gasping pants.

“Rowan, I need­-,” she didn’t have to finish it as Rowanslipped his hand from her breast to her clit. The rhythm he found had her hurtlingtowards the cliff of her release, and she slid her hand into his free one, whichallowed her more momentum.

She screamed again as she came, the sound loud and gasping.

Rowan groaned beneath her, and she could tell he was tryingto hold it together as her core squeezed and pulsed around him.

When she had ridden the wave to its end, Rowan rolled her ontoher back. A bit out of breath, he looked her over. Her chest was flushed anddamp with sweat and she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“I think I promised you another one, correct?” Rowan wasn’tashamed of how out of breath he was.

Aelin seemed to struggle to openher eyes, but she was coherent enough to gasp out a breathless, “Yes.”

The next morning, as Aelin sat in her 10 AM Arts of Wendlyn,she thought about the scribbled number Rowan had left on her kitchen counter.She silently thanked the gods she had avoided the whole awkward one-night standgoodbye.

She took a sip of her coffee as she waited for their instructor.Professor Maeve Noire was a bitch, but Aelin had to admit she was a genius.

The sound of the auditorium door shutting drew Aelin out ofher thoughts.

“I’m Rowan Whitethorn, and I’m your TA. I’ll be instructing for ProfessorNoire this morning and for the rest of the…”

Aelin felt her stomach drop as she locked eyes with him.

Rowan cleared his throat, his face carefully drawn. “For therest of the week while she attends a conference in Doranelle. Now, if you’llopen the book to page 245…”

Aelin was so fucked.

[pintofteaforthesoul]

Elorcan One-shot

PROMPT:

So this took so much longer than I’d intended but it's PERFECT so I hope you enjoy it. Tagging everyone who liked the original prompt: @skeletons-and-flowers, @badwolf084, @athletic-book-nerd, @nalgenewhore, @mis-lil-red, @lazyperfectionistteen

~~~

Elide laid on her stomach, sprawled on her bed with her ankles crossed in the air. It was a regular Friday night, music blaring from the small speaker on her desk. She was scrolling through Instagram as per usual when she had nothing better to do. It was the week before finals so any party going on was subdued. That’s what she should have been doing tonight- studying. Her books and notebook for Organic Chemistry were open before her, but she couldn’t concentrate.

Elide scrolled past a picture of her ex and scowled. How could she have forgotten to unfollow that scumbag? But she frowned when taking a closer look. She had unfollowed him, but who would be posting a picture of him? She clicked on the tag name, following so many people and unable to immediately recognize it.

The page opened to a friend of a friend’s page- Lysandra. One of her sorority sister’s best friends. Elide blinked in surprise. Clicking again on the picture of Aedion, with his long blond hair flowing over his shoulders while he grinned at the camera. It was a grin he’d often given her over the two years they were together.

Tears wanted to well in her eyes but Elide shoved them down. Aedion was the reason she now attended Terrasen University, they’d been high school sweethearts and won Prom King and Queen just last May.

Elide saw there were more pictures and swiped, biting down on her tongue when she saw they were indeed together in the next photo- Lysandra and Aedion. They’ve barely been broken up for a month and Aedion had already found another girlfriend.

A piece of Elide’s heart shattered. What did that say about her? What was wrong with her if he’d so easily been able to get over her? Elide hopped off the bed and left the room, weaving through the halls of the Gamma Phi Epsilon sorority house until she’d found the right door. She’d only moved into the house at the beginning of January after initiation and was still figuring out her way around. She’d been one of the lucky girls to get her own room and not have to share, perks of being a legacy Elide assumed.

Aelin answered after a moment, cute glasses perched on the edge of her nose. She looked surprised. “Elide! What’s up?” Elide had known Aelin in high school but hadn’t been super close until they’d joined the same sorority- not because Elide didn’t like her but they’d never been in the same friend groups. It had been a raving recommendation coupled with Elide being a legacy that had made her an obvious choice for ΓΦE. She was also Aedion’s cousin and looked exactly like him.

Elide shifted from foot to foot. “Hey, sorry to interrupt your studying but I had a question…. About Aedion…”

Aelin’s face shifted, her eyebrows knitted and her mouth thinning. Elide could tell the emotion wasn’t directed at her when the other girl said, “Lysandra posted something didn’t she?” Elide gave a small nod. Aelin cursed under her breath. “I told her to wait. I’m sorry, Elide. They’re not actually serious, Lysandra gets in over her head when she starts a new relationship.”

When Elide’s crestfallen expression doesn’t change, Aelin puts her hand on the shorter girl’s shoulder. Elide looks up through the thick curtain of her dark hair.

“Aedion is an asshole. Look, I’ll make Lys take it down.”

Elide gave the barest shake of her head. “No… I’m glad he’s,” she struggled to get the word out. “happy.”

Aelin sighed, drawing Elide in for a bone-crushing hug. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know.” Elide returned the hug, grateful for the human contact. Aelin pulled back, her turquoise eyes fiery. “He may be my cousin, but you’re by sister now. Sisters stay together.”

Elide wiped away a tear that had fallen and gave Aelin a small smile before tracking down to the kitchen for a snack. As a sorority house filled with seventy girls, the freezer was constantly stocked with post-break-up ice cream. Elide grabbed the pint of rocky road and made her way back up to her room.

Giving up on studying, Elide piled up her pillows at the headboard and rested her back against them. Laptop balanced on a knee, she opened Netflix and clicked on something to watch that would distract her from the turmoil in her gut. Multitasking was usually the best distraction, and unable to resist herself, Elide opened Instagram once again.

The first picture on her feed left her mouth hanging open, spoon dangling from her lips. Elide practically swooned, beholding the massive golden form flexing muscles that had no right being that large. Lorcan Salvaterre was the epitome of hunk, having gained popularity and fame because of his portrayal in a popular werewolf show- not as the main love interest but the bad boy older brother.

Elide watched the show almost religiously just to see Lorcan, and the plot was decently good for a fantasy show based around romance.

The picture was actually one from the show, with Lorcan’s character, Damian, and some of the other members of the cast. Underneath was the caption, ‘You mess with my pack, you deal with me’.

Elide snorted at the cheesy line, but couldn’t resist going into the comments. She’d never left something before, but something was making her brave. There were the usual comments about how hot he was and who was looking forward to the next episode.

Before she could convince herself otherwise, Elide typed out, ‘I wish I was a part of your pack so you could help me egg my asshole ex’s house’. It was so ridiculous it made her laugh, such an impossible thing that she knew it could never happen.

~~~

Lorcan Salvaterre hated social media- it was so tedious and exhausting. He usually let his manager handle posting on it, not really caring what photos were on it. He did enjoy scrolling through the comments though, boosting his ego in ways nothing else could.

It was one comment that grabbed his attention though, something so out of left field. Lorcan clicked on her tag name – ladylochanx- and let out a breath of air. Elide Lochan. She was stunning was Lorcan’s first thought. He scrolled through her page, noticing at the top that she was a member of Gamma Phi Epsilon at TU- the campus only thirty minutes away from his apartment.

Elide was shy, that much he could tell by the few photos of herself alone. Lorcan clicked on the most recent one- showing Elide with her dark hair covering half her face. She looked solemn, dark eyes dancing at the camera as the barest of smiles hinted at her lips. Her caption was simple ‘Everything happens for a reason’. Lorcan clicked out to try to find a picture with the ex she’d mentioned in her comment, but found nothing obvious.

No, wait. A post from last May displayed Elide in a graduation gown, grinning at the camera with her arms around two blonde figures who looked like twins- a boy and a girl. The first boy Lorcan had seen on Elide’s dash. He clicked to see if the two were tagged, and indeed the girl was but the boy was not. Lorcan read the caption and found the name- Aedion. That was the guys name. The tag would’ve disappeared when Elide blocked him, but she hadn’t bothered to edit the caption.

Lorcan was out of his seat before he really knew what he was doing. Rowan Whitethorn, an old friend he’d met on set years prior, glanced up from the TV where he was playing a first-person shooter. “Where are you going?”

Lorcan didn’t glance back. “I have a request to fulfill.” Rowan merely rolled his eyes as Lorcan went to change. Elide would indeed get her wish.

~~~

It was nearly midnight when Manon appeared at Elide’s open door, lounging against the frame as if she owned it as per usual. Elide glanced up from where she was halfway through her pint, mouth full. “Can I help you?” She mumbled out, quickly pressing pause on her show.

“I see studying is going well.” Manon remarked drily, her eyebrow quirked as regarded the forgotten books at the foot of Elide’s bed.

Elide shrugged, pulling the spoon from her mouth. “I got distracted.”

Manon snorted. “Uhuh. Well, you have a visitor at the door.”

Elide’s heart jumped into her mouth. “A… a visitor?”

Manon’s arms were crossed. “Yeah and you’re lucky I was downstairs or your bootycall would’ve had to climb to your window. He’s still at the door, I told him to wait. He’s pretty hot though.”

Before Elide could say anything, Manon turned on her heel and walked out. Elide could barely process what was happening. Who could possibly have showed up at her sorority house at midnight? Aedion? The thought came and she dismissed it, not wanting to hope that her high school love had crawled back to her.

She quickly cleaned her room, shoving the books that had fallen off under her bed, snapping her laptop closed and placing it on her desk. Elide was decently cleanly, so that was the only thing out of place. She swooped up the pint of ice cream and rushed back downstairs. After depositing it back in the freezer, Elide padded to the door.

Her heart was racing in her chest as she fussed over her messy hair- pulling it down from the pony tail so it could sweep down her back. Elide was grateful she’d just done laundry and could answer the door in her favorite Gamma Phi Epsilon tank top and short pajama shorts.

Before she died of a heart attack, Elide swung open the door- and froze. She let out a small strangled gasp, eyes raking over the towering figure standing on the porch of the sorority house. Lorcan Salvaterre looked down-right rugged in black jeans and a fitted long-sleeve shirt that showed off every delightful curve of muscle on his body.

He gave her an almost nervous grin. “Elide Lochan?”

“Yes?” Elide squeaked, gripping the door out of fear her knees would give out.

Shocking her, Lorcan swept into a bow. “I’m here to make your wish come true.” Elide’s breath slipped out between her lips and she noticed that cartons tucked under Lorcan’s arm. Egg cartons. When he straightened, Lorcan looked her over with almost hungry eyes. “If we’re going to go out, you should probably put on something warmer. Here,” He pulled a dark form that had been hanging from his arm too and tossed it at her.

Elide caught it mostly out of reflex, smelling firewood and merlot. She almost dropped when she realized what it was- Lorcan’s hoodie. The smell was from him.  She was gaping at it, disbelieving eyes switching from the hoodie in her hands to gorgeous man standing before her.

Lorcan’s eyebrow lifted. “Well? Are we going to do this or what?”

Elide caught her bottom lip between her teeth before she could say ‘You can do me, that’s for sure’. “Um… you’re serious?” She found herself saying instead.

Lorcan’s thick eyebrows furrowed, a cute v appearing in his forehead. “Of course, I’m making you a member of my pack.”

Elide sputtered, heat curling in her body at the words and the rough voice he used to say them. “Why?” She was breathless and utterly confused.

Lorcan’s large shoulders shrugged, but his eyes were clear. “Because you’re beautiful and I don’t understand why your ex would break up with you.”

A blush creeped over Elide’s cheeks. She suddenly couldn’t meet his eyes. “I’ll um… I’ll go put on some pants and be right down.” Lorcan nodded, but Elide stepped aside. “You’re welcome to wait in the living room.” She peeked a glance up at him to find Lorcan’s keen gaze still on her. He followed her inside, taking in the large space.

Although there were nearly 200 girls in the sorority, only a select few were given the opportunity to live in the house. Well that and it took every bill Elide had just to afford it. Even though it would be cheaper to find roommates and live off-campus, Elide preferred the convenience.

Elide raced up the stairs to change, pressing her back into her door as she puzzled over the situation she’s found herself in. Lorcan Salvaterre was here. He was waiting downstairs. He came to help her egg Aedion’s house. Elide’s thoughts whirled. Could she actually go through with it? Well damn it to hell, she wasn’t about to let this golden opportunity to pass her by.

Elide dragged on a pair of black sweatpants over her shorts and after thoroughly smelling the hoodie pulled it over her head. Then she checked her pace going down the stairs, not content with savoring every moment of this fantasy right out of her dreams.

Lorcan was right where she’d left him and smiled up at Elide when she descended the stairs. As they left the sorority house, Lorcan pulled her arm through his so she was tight against his side. “So,” he murmured down to her. “where does this idiot ex live?”

Elide pulled him in the right direction. “Aedion is a member of the Kappa Xi’s, so he lives in their frat house. It’s a short walk down Greek Row.”

But Lorcan was smiling. “Figures. All Kappa Xi’s are assholes.”

Elide blinked up at him. “How do you know?”

He grins down at her, bright teeth flashing in the darkness. “I attended school here.”

Elide gaped. She hadn’t known this. “You went to TU?” She breathed as they walked arm in arm down the sidewalk. Lorcan guided her over the cracks and holes like a pro, truly revealing that he had indeed spent time on Greek Row.

“I graduated two years ago.”

Elide gave a small frown. “But that would’ve meant you were in college while shooting the show.”

Lorcan whistled low. “Yeah, it wasn’t easy. Had to take mostly online classes because we were traveling so much. I almost didn’t graduate on time.” His dark eyes met hers, face mostly shadowed and hard to read. “And you’re a freshman now?”

Elide shrugged. “It’s my first year at TU, but I’m technically a sophomore now because I had dual-enrollment credits coming in.”

Lorcan’s eyes widened as if he were impressed. Elide fought the urge to blush again when he said, “You must be incredibly smart.” She gave a noncommittal shrug and they lapsed into silence. Eventually, Lorcan asked, “So what happened between you and this Aedion? If you don’t mind my asking?”

Elide’s mouth pursed, but the familiar ache in her chest didn’t bloom at the sound of his name. “We’d been dating for two years when he texted me out of the blue saying he wanted to break up. Never really gave me a reason why, but early tonight a friend I follow on Instagram posted a photo of the two of them.”

Lorcan’s scowl was illuminated as they passed under a streetlamp. “What an asshole.” Elide murmured her agreement. “What made you ask me for help?”

Elide snorted. “I didn’t really ask for help. It was more of a joke. I hadn’t expected that you would… you know… actually show up.” She fiddled with her hands in front of her- a nervous habit.

Lorcan stopped, taking Elide’s hands in his and turning her to face him. She trailed her eyes up his broad chest until they met his serious eyes. Elide’s heart thrummed low in her chest, a piece of her wanting to trail her fingers over the stubble on his chin. “Are you unhappy that I came?”

Elide’s head shook side to side of its own accord. “No! I’m actually thrilled. I’ve…” she was embarrassed to admit it, staring at her feet as she continued, “been a fan of yours for a while.”

One of Lorcan’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

Elide’s face warmed considerably despite the chilly air. “Well, yeah.” She couldn’t meet his eyes.

After a beat that Elide wished for nothing more than to sink into the floor, Lorcan said, “I think I’m a fan of yours as well, Elide.” His voice was quiet but earnest.

Elide’s eyes whipped up to his, shock making her dumb. “What? But I’m not… I’m not famous. You don’t know anything about me…”

Lorcan merely shrugs. “I’d like to.” Elide was at a loss of words. Lorcan fumbled on. “But first… let’s egg Aedion’s car. It’ll make you feel better.” His grin was wicked and Elide could only follow after him.

~~~

The Kappa Xi’s frat house was the last on the lane, Aedion’s bright yellow Camaro stark out front. Elide pointed it out to Lorcan, who merely grinned in response. “Time to get to work.” He said with a killer expression.

By the time they were done, Aedion’s car was gracefully covered in almost invisible egg whites and egg yolks. Lorcan surveyed his handiwork, standing next to Elide, but Elide only had eyes for him. When he glanced over and noticed her stare, Lorcan cocked his head to the side. “Feeling better about it all?”

“Yeah.” Elide breathed. “But not because of the car.”

Lorcan opened his mouth to ask something, but a light flicked on in the house’s living room. “Quick!” Lorcan hissed, pulling Elide aside to hide behind a gaggle of bushes.

Footsteps sounded on the Kappa Xi porch then a voice calling out, “Hello?” It was a male voice Elide didn’t recognize. Lorcan’s finger pressed against her mouth, the warmth making her lips tingle. After a second, the footsteps sounded again and the front door closed.

Lorcan grinned at Elide and she was struck again by just how beautiful he was. Lorcan’s features could’ve been carved from marble, the cut of his jaw capable of slicing diamonds. They paused, staring at one another. Elide breathed shallowly as Lorcan’s thumb moved from her mouth to her cheek and swept her hair behind her ear.

Feeling too warm and awkward, she started, “I should-” Elide went to stand, but her foot got caught in the long pantleg. She bit back her yelp, grappling onto Lorcan’s arm to try to keep her balance. But Elide went back, taking Lorcan with her.

When Elide opened her eyes again, Lorcan’s weight was pressing into her, face hovering inches above her own. “Lorcan.” She breathed, eyes wide.

Lorcan gazed down at her, untold emotions in his eyes. Without wasting a beat, he swooped down and captured Elide’s lips with his own.

Elide’s hand squeezed his arm as the heated kiss rocked her senses. One of Lorcan’s hands got lost in her hair while the other tilted her chin to give him better access. When his tongue grazed her bottom lip, Elide gasped- giving him entrance. Their tongues danced and Elide’s body burned. Lorcan’s hand on her chin fell to along her shoulder then down her side until it landed on her hip.

Then he pulled back, panting. “Tell me to stop. Tell you don’t want it and I’ll stop.”

Elide was panting too, unfamiliar with the heat that curled in her core. “I want you. I want you more the air I breathe.” She reached her hands up to caress his cheeks, the stubble tickling her skin.

Lorcan’s eyes widened at that but he shook his head. “Not here, not in the grass.”

“My room, at the house.” It was all the encouragement he needed, using his grace and bulk to lift them both on their feet. Then they practically sprinted back to the sorority house.

Finally alone in Elide’s room, Lorcan pressed Elide into the door. With barely a jerk of his arms, Lorcan’s hoodie was up and over her head- discarded somewhere across the room. He resumed their kiss and Elide moaned into his mouth as his hands trailed down her body. His large hands cupped her breasts and Elide arched into him.

Lorcan kneaded them for only a moment before continuing on, finding the waistband of Elide’s sweatpants. On his knees before her, Lorcan gazed up at her with obvious lust in his eyes. Elide only nodded, letting Lorcan peel the pants off her- taking the shorts with it.

Left in only her panties, Elide felt self-conscious. Her hands came up to cover her crotch and Lorcan looked confused. He stood slowly, regarding her. “Have you been with a man before?” He asked.

Elide bit the inside of her cheek. “Yes, but not… you. You’re…” She couldn’t think of a word that accurately described him, so she settled on, “an Adonis.”

“Elide.” Lorcan’s head tilted to the side, her name on his lips sending chills over her skin. He pressed his mouth into the crook of her neck. “You. Are. Ravishing.” He said each word with a kiss for emphasis. Elide shook her head no to which Lorcan viciously pressed his lips to hers- devouring her. “Let me prove it to you. Let me make love to you.” His voice was scarce over a whisper as he obviously battled for control.

Elide placed her hands on his covered chest and Lorcan got rid of the garment. Her eyes were wide as he beheld his toned skin and deep grooves of muscle. A Greek hunk indeed. Ever so slowly, Elide leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Lorcan’s sternum. A whistle of breath between his teeth was Elide’s only sign to continue.

She roamed her hands over his heated skin, loving the feel of him and barely believing it was actually him. Keeping her eyes on his, she planted kisses over his chest then a little lower to his abdomen. His skin tasted divine and Elide began to crave more.

She sunk lower, letting her tongue loll into Lorcan’s belly button and swirl. Lorcan cursed, hands coming up to grip her hair but made no other movement. Elide continued her tongue and kiss assault to the wide expanse of his hips, leaving little bites on the tan skin just above his waistline.

With fumbling fingers, Elide reached up to stabilize herself on Lorcan’s thighs, digging her fingers into the dark denim. She was now on her knees before him, staring up at his gaze that read very clearly what Lorcan wanted to do to her.

Before she lost her courage, Elide ran her tongue over the obvious bulge in Lorcan’s jeans- eliciting a tight curse and groan. “Fuck, Elide.” Lorcan’s hands twirled in her long hair, but didn’t guide her.

Elide reached up and undid his belt, feeling her heart in her throat. She could tell Lorcan wasn’t breathing. Gingerly, she loosened the button and slid the zipper down. Lorcan didn’t rush her as she hooked her fingers in his waistband and began to slide the jeans down.

When he sprang free, Elide nearly choked- her eyes whipping up to catch Lorcan’s satisfied expression. Aedion had been average, she thought… but Lorcan… Elide didn’t know whether he would fit inside her- mouth or otherwise.

She wrapped her hand around the hardened length and Lorcan exhaled, watching her every movement.  “Are you alright?” He asked after her clear hesitation.

Elide pursed her lips, embarrassment coloring her cheeks. “I’ve um… never been particularly good at this… sort of thing. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Lorcan’s eyes flashed. “As long as my cock is in your mouth, Elide, I can die a happy man.”

Elide giggled and steeled her nerves, flicking her wrist the way Manon said men liked. Lorcan cursed, so Elide did it again, running tongue along the tip- already slick with his arousal. Lorcan’s hands tightened in her hair, but didn’t force her to go deeper. Elide quickened the motion with her hand, taking more of him into her mouth at the same time. She sucked softly, careful to keep her teeth sheathed behind her lips.

In a moment of bravery, Elide pulled back to draw her tongue along the entire underside of him- balls to tip. Lorcan groaned loudly and his eyes flared. “If you do that again, I might come.”

Elide hid her grin and took him back into her mouth, placing both hands on either side of his crotch. Lorcan’s cock hit the back of her throat and she gagged but didn’t release, sucking harder. Instead, she bobbed her head up and down, humming lightly. With a glance up, she could see Lorcan’s head tilted back in ecstasy.

Elide dragged her nails down Lorcan’s thighs and the man moaned. “Elide, if you don’t stop…” She didn’t, drawing back enough to wrap one hand around him to squeeze. Both of Lorcan’s hands were in her hair now. Elide sucked, running her tongue over and along him until finally Lorcan gasped- shooting his release down her throat.

Elide pulled back, licking the tip clean, before glancing up at him. Lorcan was staring down at her. Nervous energy thrummed through and she started, “I’m sorry if I-” Lorcan didn’t let her finish the statement before he dragged her up by her arms and molded his mouth on hers. His hands latched him to her, flowing down her body until they found her ass. Lorcan kneaded and squeezed before lifting Elide up as if she weighed nothing and taking her to the bed.

Without breaking their kiss, Lorcan laid her down- radiating heat over her body as his weight pressed her into the mattress. His hands found the hem of her tank top and began to push it up and they were forced to part. Elide was gasping, but Lorcan pulled back. “Can I bind your hands with this?” He was needy and breathless and Elide only nodded, practically vibrating with heat.

Lorcan looped the top around one of Elide’s wrist, twisting the fabric before slinging it around one of the wide slats in Elide’s headboard. He secured her wrist in the other side. It was by no means tight, but it gave Elide something to grab and kept her hands over her head.

Now naked in just her panties before him, Lorcan stared down at her. With a wicked gleam in his eyes, he said, “I plan to worship you, Elide.” Elide practically convulsed at the words- nowhere near anything Aedion had ever said to her. Lorcan pressed a quick kiss to her lips before starting down her body. One of his hands trailed over her hip where Elide’s thighs were pressed tightly together and the other was at her breast. His thumb flicked over her pert nipple and Elide almost screamed. Lorcan delighted in her reaction, his mouth trailing over her collarbones before finding its place at her other breast.

Elide writhed beneath his ministrations, fists clutching the fabric of the top that held her. Lorcan tongue swirled one nipple while his thumb and forefinger rolled the other. It was almost too much, the molten lava threatening to rip through Elide’s insides.

Lorcan’s teeth clamped onto her nipple and Elide had to bite her lip on the moan that would’ve woken the entire household. Thankfully, Lorcan continued on, planting kisses down her tensed stomach. He shot her a grin before swirling his tongue around her belly button. “Lorcan!” Elide gasped out, practically shaking with need.

Lorcan tsked at her, following the same path she’d made on his skin, but unlike hers, his kisses and nips left small marks on her skin. “You’re so pale.” Lorcan murmured, tongue rolling over his lips. “I love making your skin flush.”

Elide pulled at her restraints, hips nearly bucking off the bed. Lorcan crawled lower, hands running over her thighs. Elide’s skin turned numb at his touch, her muscles relaxing as he coaxed her legs apart. Lorcan hooked his fingers in her panties and began to slowly draw them down her legs.

When they were fully off and Elide’s legs spread for him, Lorcan’s eyes burnished. “Oh, Elide, you’re so wet for me.” He used a finger to caress her entrance, but didn’t push into her. Elide whined as Lorcan brought the finger back up to his mouth and sucked on it. “Divine.” Lorcan breathed and nestled himself between her thighs.

“Please, Lorcan.” Elide’s eyes scrunched shut as he softly blew on her sensitive clit and slipped a single finger inside her.

“What do you want, baby?” His words were rough, demanding, as he pumped one finger in and out in a torturous pace.

“You, please, now.” She could barely get the words out.

“As you wish.” Lorcan added a second finger and Elide mewled, the fingers curved to hit that special place inside her.

Her breath coming in pants, she said again, “Lorc-AH!” She moaned out the last syllable as Lorcan’s wicked tongue lapped at her clit and he pushed a third finger into her, picking up the pace. Elide’s back was arched off the bed, hips gyrating against his mouth. It took barely three swirls of his tongue before Elide was convulsing around him, moaning out her release.

Lorcan’s fingers pulled out and Elide whined but found his weight back over her and his fingers now at her lips. “Suck.” He commanded, dark eyes hooded, and Elide took his fingers into her mouth and tasted her own arousal coating them. Lorcan purred at the sight, pulling Elide’s hands free from their fabric prison. She immediately brought them into his hair and pulled his mouth down to hers. Elide’s kiss was demanding and intense, Lorcan answering in kind.

At the same time, he spread her legs wider and ran his cock over her folds. Elide bit down on Lorcan’s lip and he entered her in a quick thrust. “Fuck!” Lorcan growled, hips molded to Elide’s, but he didn’t move again. Elide’s fingernails dug into the skin of Lorcan’s shoulders, but she tipped her head back to revel in the fullness. No, Lorcan was nothing like Aedion, she decided. Lorcan’s lips trailed over her jaw, breath tickling her skin. “You okay? Can I move?” Elide nodded because her voice wasn’t working.

When Lorcan began to move, Elide lost all common sense. He rocked his hips into her, setting up an even rhythm that left her gasping.

Lorcan’s fingers dug into her hips as he hissed. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” He plunged into her, over and over again until Elide could barely remember her own name. Lorcan pushed one of her thighs up to her chest so that her ankle met his shoulder, the other hand finding its way to her clit. Elide gasped out his name, not sure if she could take much more. She was climbing again, legs tensing as Lorcan didn’t tire.

Then all at once he stopped and, in a smooth motion, flipped Elide onto her stomach. Lorcan drew her knees up so her ass was in the air and before another heartbeat could pass, he was buried in her again. Elide’s hands flew to brace herself on the headboard so she didn’t fly into it. Lorcan’s speed picked up now and Elide was shaking. “Please.” She bit out between pants of much needed air. “Don’t stop.”

Lorcan growled, hand coming up to grip her hair and pull her head back. “Are you on birth control?”

Elide couldn’t nod, so she gasped out, “Yes.”

“Good.” Lorcan thrust in particularly deeply and Elide had to fight to remain on her knees. “Because I’m about to come inside you.”

Elide couldn’t reply, words failing her as Lorcan pulled her back tighter against him. One hand still in her hair, the other found Elide’s bundle of nerves again. Elide wrapped her arms back around his neck to grip his hair, feeling herself near the top of her climax. “Lorcan… please… I’m so close.”

Lorcan’s breath was hot in her ear as he growled. “Come for me, baby.” Just the demand alone sent Elide over the edge, and as she tightened around him, Lorcan fell with her.

They collapsed to the bed and Elide thought she was spent, but Lorcan pulled out of her and flipped her back over. “Lorcan.” She murmured, exhausted, as his intentions became clear. “I don’t think I can-” She never finished the sentence.

Lorcan tongue was at her folds, tasting their combined juices, as his fingers pinched her clit. That wicked tongue pushing into her, Elide latched onto his hair and pushed his head closer. Still so sensitive from her last orgasm, Elide didn’t think it possible but her legs were again tensing. Lorcan’s tongue was relentless, fingers downright punishing. And then she was falling again, down and down into that endless pool of pleasure Lorcan had given her. Elide would’ve screamed if her voice hadn’t been hoarse.

After drawing out the orgasm for her as much as he could, Lorcan pulled back- his chin and mouth dripping. Elide’s chest heaved and she grasped her hands together over her stomach.  She eyed him. “Satisfied?”

Lorcan’s answering grin was mischievous and Elide pulled her legs closed, but he said, “Yes, quite,” He flopped down on his side and drew her up against his hulking form. In her ear, he continued, “and you?”

Elide nodded, but suddenly shivered. As if able to read her, Lorcan lifted them up and threw the covers aside before laying back down. Elide snuggled into the hungrily, before gazing over at Lorcan who looked unsure. She placed a hand on his cheek, the question in her eyes.

Instead, he asked a question of his own, in a nervous tone Elide had yet to hear from him, “Is it alright if I stay?”

Elide let out a breath of relief, leaning closer until her mouth was at his ear. “If you stay, we can do that again in the morning.” Elide plopped back onto her pillows with a grin, pulling the covers up to her chin.

Lorcan’s head tilted to the side, but he got under the covers.  It wasn’t until he’d flicked off her nightstand lamp and drawn her against his body in the darkness that he replied, “I think I’d enjoy that, Elide Lochan.” Elide’s toes curled at the promise and she turned into his body to press a kiss to his lips. In a sultry whisper, Lorcan purred, “Maybe we won’t have to wait that long.” And met her kiss with his own.

[thesorrowfulknight-blog]

Okaayyyy, so! Apparently tumblr was being a shitforbrains again and didn't post my answers from a few days ago, so I'm gonna combine both get-to-know-me q&a's in one post! Sorry for the wait you guys.

1st set of q's was tagged by @legendarybitch 😘

Relationship status: Single AF

Favourite colours: Blue and green, hands down. I'm partial to he more vibrant blues and more earthy greens; especially hunter green with gold accenting. But it has to be a nice gold, not that yucky orangey-yellow some folks use

Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstiiiick! Anything else I get annoyed and scrape it off with my teeth

3 favourite foods: Oh god, I have to choose? I guess... Any pizza really though I have a weakness for deepdish (especially double cheese smothered in sriracha 😍), suicide hot wings (I want to choke on the fumes and feel like my face is melting), aannnnd a nice tender rare steak. You can't see it but I'm drooling now thx guys

Song stuck in my head: The Next Episode by Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg

Last song I listened to: Zombies by The Cranberries (the cover done by Bad Wolves is fucking bomb too)

Last movie I watched: Galaxy Quest (1999) Worth every goddamn penny

Top 3 tv shows: Tough call, but I think the closest would have to be Hannibal, Final Space, and Voltron: Legendary Defender

Books I'm currently reading: The Rowan by Anne McCaffrey and Burial Rites by Hannah Kent

Last thing I googled: Biomedical Technology

Time: 11:04pm

How many blankets do you sleep in: Primarily just my one big galaxy comforter

Dream trip: Phew, that one's a pretty tall order! About 9/10ths of my clan/extended familar are still in europe (mostly Germany and the Netherlands), so I'd like to be able to visit everyone! I haven't met most of them because of distance but we're all still very tightly knit accross continents. So a dream trip would somehow entail being able to get to visit everyone and possibly even go with my Oma before she can't fly anymore (she hasn't seen her sisters in many years). If somehow this all timed itself right so that I could also attend the Trakehner Verband approvals at Neumünster, I would legitimately weep with joy. My opa and I had always planned to go together as he hadn't been since immigrating to Canada, but now that he's passed I want to go for the both of us. It's a family legacy thing, I suppose. My second choice would be to visit either Spain or Portugal for a riding vacation 😍

Anything you really want: To have a prosperous and fulfilling life brimming with true friendship, laughter, and love.

2nd set of q's tagged by @vecchiasignoras 😙

Name: Kate, though I consider it to be quite intimate so only my immediate family calls me by this name. Everyone else refers to me as Kat

Height: 5'9"

Middle name(s): I have two! Their initials are E.M.

Put your music on shuffle. What are the first four songs that come on?

September by Earth, Wind & Fire

In the Middle by Jimmy Eat World

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

Something Like This by The Chainsmokers

Bonus: Become the Beast by Karliene

Grab the book nearest you and turn to page 23. What is on line 17? (I counted them as the beginning/end of dialogue and whole sentences)

"She'll... she'll die! You know as well as I do," and Siglen's words crowded each other out of her mouth, "what happens to the truly Talented in space... I mean, look at how ill David became. Remember how devastated Capella was. To subject an infant... of unknown potential... to such mind-destroying trauma! Why you must be mad, Interior. You cannot! I will not permit it!"

Ever had a song or poem written about you? Not to my knowledge! Though the only thing they might draw inspiration from is how big my feet are lmao

When was the last time you played air guitar? Mmm, a few weeks I think? That Mötley Crüe riff was impossible to resist. As for a real guitar, I think it's going on almost 4 or 5 years now? Jesus time flies.

Who is your celebrity crush? They would have to be Tom Holland and Chris Hemsworth. I definitely have a thing for their personality type 😘

What's a sound you hate + a sound you love?

A sound I hate would 12/10 have to be my mother's voice, even just saying my name. It always sounds accusatory and condescending in the kind of way that's like nails on a chalkboard but under your skin. Also the sound of unexpected people WALKING UP ONTO MY PORCH AND KNOCKING ON THE DOOR INVADING MY SANCTUARY. (I loathe unannounced visitors. Hate hate hate them).

A sound that I love would hands down have to be the ambient noises my horse makes when he's just doing... whatever. When he's doing him-stuff. Slurping up electrolyte water like a messy kid, heaving these great big sighs because life amiright? I especially find his annoyed growling to be hilarious, because he is VERY loud and dramatic about it, but only does it when you ask him to do something relatively low effort that he finds tedious. Like flat work, or walking to and from the barn and paddock. Completely droll and lackluster. But going for a friendly gallop in the back field? You'd think we'd just gotten rallied by fucking Théoden to ride to our deaths at the Pelennor Fields. He makes this hard little growly-grunt when he shifts up into the next gear and then boom, you're gone. Just fucking gone. Then he's a happy springy boi. It isn't like his annoyed growling though; it's different. When he's annoyed it's more like verbal complaining; all in the throat. But when he revs it it's much shorter and takes on a hard edge. Comes up deep from the core. I can't really explain it any better than that. I just fucking love sprinting a 1700lbs war machine in general, now that I've re-learned how the hell to ride it 😂 I'm babbling now

Do you believe in ghosts? I believe in spirits and other things, yes.

How about aliens? We've only discovered and understand, what, 0.4% of the known universe? To not be widely open to and fully accepting of the notion that we are not alone would be pure folly. Even from a mathematical standpoint it would be wildly ridiculous not to. That doesn't mean I have any specific theories or "truths" about it, though. It would just be very stupid of me to be closed-minded.

Besides, if it does turn out to be true it would explain a lot of things. I think my favourite wild theory out there is that Mary, mother of Jesus, was artificially inseminated. Like we do with livestock. If nothing else it's fascinating to ponder the implications.

Do you drive? Yes. Pretty gutsy too, if I say so myself. My mum used to drag race so I guess it's both a hereditary as well as a learned thing.

If so, have you ever crashed? Only once, and that was an actual accident. The conditions were super icy so we were already going 20km below the limit, and I was hanging back, but what happened was the car infront of me hit the car infront of them, and when I slammed on the brakes I just slid about 15-20 feet right into their rear end anyways. Nobody got hurt except for my car; she took the worst of it. The car I hit basically just had to pop the dent back out and it was like I hadn't made contact. Lucky badstards. There were a ton of similar accidents that day so everything got wrapped up pretty quick.

What was the last book you read?

It's been so long since I've completed one, mostly because everything these days sucks ass, so I don't remember what it was. The ones I'm currently reading however are The Rowan by Anne McCaffrey and Burial Rites by Hannah Kent

Do you like the smell of gasoline? Clean, quality gasoline? Yes. Dirty low quality gasoline? No.

What was the last movie you saw?

Galaxy Quest (1999)

Do you have any obsessions right now? Not really, no. I mean, technically all things Bioware and my pony, but those are more of a glowering embers kind of love. Not the raging wildfire kind that overtakes the mind and turns you into a fanatic

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Eeeehhhhhh, yes and no. Like I won't actively hate you cause why tf would I waste the energy, so it's whatever, but I will also always keep you at arm's length so idk

Are you in a relationship? No, nor do I want to be. I'm enjoying just being on my own and allowing myself to grow as a person. I don't do relationships just for the sake of being in one, or because of this ridiculous notion people seem to have that you aren't complete/a whole person without a significant other. I'm only interested in end-game, and I'm not ready to be open for that right now ✌

Bonus: What's an annoying/bad habit that you have? Talking the shit out of everything. And I swear. A lot. More in my head than out loud, though.

[amoralityplay]

Tokyo, June 1992

[CW: emotional abuse, implied physical abuse)

It was Friday. 

Audrey knew this meant Nate would show up around noon, rather than later in the afternoon like he did during the rest of the week. He had a job, though he’d always been vague about it, explaining that it was something on the nearby American military base, but he wasn’t a rank-and-file soldier anymore. He had a desk job that he hated after some sort of disagreement during his last tour of duty, she had some recollection of him talking about it, but he’d never explained exactly what had happened and Audrey hadn’t pressed for an answer. Mortals were always getting into conflicts that, from her point of view, were petty and meaningless. Whatever it was probably didn’t matter at all in the larger scheme of things, so she hadn’t had any desire to dig deeper on the topic. Assuming he would have told her, anyway, which wasn’t often the case. If Nate didn’t want to talk about something, it wasn’t talked about, and he’d made that clear to her very early on. 

As she wandered across the small apartment, Audrey paused briefly to look at a calendar that hung in the kitchen area, days crossed off until the last day of June. She’d never been very good at keeping track of time—for vampires, days or weeks passed in a blink—and marking a calendar was the only way she could keep up with Nate’s schedule, which he adhered to unfailingly. It was almost noon, so Nate would show up any minute and the young vampire let out a small sigh. She’d barely slept, not uncommon since she’d arrived in Japan, and knew he’d scold her for not taking better care of herself. It was hard to get any sleep, though, when he’d show up in the afternoon, wake her up, and then keep her up until he left in the morning. As light a sleeper as she was…that left the vampire with precious few hours to get some rest during the day, and often that was interrupted by other things: the building superintendent making repairs, neighbors making noise, traffic and city life beyond her small window. Audrey didn’t know it was intentional, of course; that Nate’s charms worked better if she was weak and tired.

As expected, it was only a moment before the sound of the lock turned as Nate arrived, still wearing his fatigues, which was unusual, and pushed the door open. A brow twitched upwards when he found Audrey in the kitchen next to the door, followed by a frown. “You’re already awake,” he said flatly, stepping inside and pulling his cap off, a hand smoothing his brown hair back into place. 

“I couldn’t sleep, I knew you’d be here soon so I thought it was better to just get up and start getting ready…“

Nate didn’t answer, just frowned down at her. After a moment, he walked into the living area and let out an exaggerated sigh. “Well, what good are you going to be if you’re tired? Or did you just assume I’d feed you, today?” He dropped onto the futon, leaning back and propping his boots on the coffee table, starting to roll up his sleeve. “It’s been two weeks. Suppose it wouldn’t hurt. But you need to take better care of yourself, I can’t do everything for you, you know. How would you hunt if I wasn’t here?” “You don’t have to—“ “What’s the alternative, Audrey? Let you starve? Look at you. You’re not eating enough as it is.” It was true that Audrey wasn’t eating nearly enough—ideally, she needed at least two pints of blood a day to keep at a healthy weight, more than that to stave off anemia, which she was particularly prone to. She was getting less than half of that, and nearly all of it once a week when she tried to gorge on a kill, while the rest of the time she’d just nibble at steak and liver, although occasionally Nate showed up with a bag or two of blood for her that he’d been able to bribe off the military clinic. But she supposed that was the best she could do, since the coalition seemed to be ignoring her application and she felt reckless enough as it was killing a mortal once a week, even in a city as big, and with as many dark alleyways, as Tokyo. Not to mention Nate wasn’t a very good lookout, easily distracted by watching her feed. Letting out a small sigh, Audrey shrugged and looked down at her feet. “If the coalition would just—“ Nate snorted. “If they’d what? Approve the application you put in five months ago? Doesn’t look like they’re gonna do that, sweetheart…C’mere.” He patted the cushion next to him, holding out his opposite arm to her. 

Audrey padded across the small space, stopping to gather a few things from a drawer as she tried to ignore the little ache in her chest that cropped up every time he pointed out that nobody seemed to care about her anymore. Except him, of course. Audrey hadn’t really believed it at first, but…her grandmother hadn’t tried to call her in months, not since they’d fought while she was still in Kiev, and she hadn’t heard from her grandfather since shortly after she’d landed in Tokyo. Then there was Rowan; Audrey wasn’t going to even let herself think about Rowan or his letters. It was going to take more than letters to convince her of anything he’d said since their wedding fell apart the day it was supposed to happen. 

“It’d be easier if you just bit me,“ Nate started, eyeing Audrey as she sat beside him with the things she’d gathered: a kidney-shaped metal tray, a tourniquet, a length of IV tubing, an empty blood bag, and a large-gauge needle. She’d gotten pretty good at drawing blood since Nate had taught her how to do it and it was only a moment before the bag was filling, not any different than one might have seen happening in a Red Cross center, except that this was meant for consumption, not donation. 

“You know I can’t do that,” she murmured, glancing up from the needle she was holding in place in Nate’s arm. “You could catch the virus and—“ “And I’d turn. Would that be so bad?” “I can’t without permission.” “Permission from who? The coalition that would let you starve, Audrey? From your grandmother, who’s been ignoring your existence for months?” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. I get it.” Audrey’s brows drew together with concern. “Get what?” “I get that I’m just some mortal to you. An easy meal. I’ll get old and die and you’ll just move on.” “That’s not true, Nate…I love you.” She pressed a piece of gauze to his arm as she pulled the needle free and laid everything in the kidney tray on the coffee table. 

“Yeah? How long is that gonna last?” “Forever, Nate,” she whispered earnestly, looking up from what she was doing. 

“Prove it, Audrey,” he whispered back, leaning forward so that his face was only inches from hers. Audrey looked at him for a long moment, the internal struggle plainly apparent on her face. She’d broken so many rules already, things that would make serious trouble for her if the Elders—namely, her grandmother—found out. But turning a mortal without permission would have been the most serious…and she knew she’d never get permission to turn this mortal. In fact, Audrey was certain if her grandmother found out Nate existed, she would personally show up and gut him, merely for the fact she would have seen him as a distraction from what Audrey should have been doing…which was getting back to fixing her strained relationship with Rowan and producing an heir to her maternal line.  Finally, Audrey’s gaze dropped to her lap. “I can’t….not yet, Nate, please understand, it’s not anything to do with how I feel about you…I’ll write to get permission, it just takes time.“ 

Without looking up, Audrey felt his arm tense under her hands and she wanted to shrink, the silence in the room heavy and unbearable. She knew if she dared look up, she’d be met with a furious stare...and maybe she deserved it. Why should he believe her? If she loved him...shouldn’t she turn him? Regardless of what other vampires would think? 

Before she finished that train of thought, Nate sighed and nudged her hands away from his arm, holding the gauze down himself as he stood. “It’s fine. Go ahead and eat.” There was no trace of displeasure in his voice and Audrey glanced up, unsure if she’d just imagined the searing gaze and tense muscles; Nate was simply looking down at her, his expression a little sad, maybe...but certainly not angry.

She hadn’t imagined anything; Nate was seething and he wondered if it would be easier to just kill her and infect himself with her blood than to keep playing this ridiculous game, pretending there was anything more between them than his desire to be essentially immortal and some tangential lust. But…he’d seen how strong she was, even when she hadn’t fed recently, and while he thought he could overpower her, it would be a messy affair. And Audrey had talked plenty about who her grandmother was; Nate was certain that killing and Elder’s granddaughter would make his immortal life more complicated--and potentially much less immortal--than he wanted it to be, so…he’d keep playing. 

It wasn’t going to take much longer, especially if he managed to get her pregnant, Nate thought. She was a soft-hearted, romantic little thing and he doubted she’d be able to tell the father of her child “no” about much of anything, much less condemn him to age and die like any other mortal would. And even if it turned out the vampire wasn’t good for anything else, she was at least a warm body, easy enough on the eyes, and hardly ever objected to anything he wanted, so Nate supposed the last few months hadn’t been a total wash. 

“I’m gonna lay down for a bit. Come to bed when you’re finished. I’ve had a long week…let’s stay in tonight. I think I need a little quality time with my girl, yeah?” 

Audrey watched silently from the futon as Nate walked the short distance to her bed, only his outline then visible behind the thin partition that split the living space from the bedroom, as he stripped off his uniform before laying down, and wondered if she’d also imagined the faint threat behind his words. 

[blustersquall]

Only Make Believe // Chapter 9: Cullen vs. Nevan

fyi: because of tumblr’s stupid user interface, out going links to AO3 and ff.net seem not to allow posts to come up in tags. So, for this I have linked the AO3 chapter as the source for those who prefer to read there. Sorry about this issue, take it up with tumblr. 

December 19th, mid-afternoon.

--

Cullen slumped down into the cushions of the couch. A small spark of pain shot up his spine from his lower back, causing him to conceal a low groan and a grimace. Stretching out his legs, he leaned his head back to rest on the plush cushions and closed his eyes, determined to relax for a few minutes.

The drive up from Edgehall to the manor house at Haven felt like it took forever. The pain in his back was not terrible, but spending time on the ice was tiring and he was wrestling with a headache caused, he believed, by hitting his head on the ice. Everyone else was busy and bustling around in the other rooms. As soon as they arrived, Ineria announced she'd start dinner and everyone was to stay. Dante, Rowan, and Matilda all disappeared up to their rooms out of the way, while Nevena's sisters and their partners all piled into the kitchen with Ineria and Josef.

Without drawing attention to himself, in the chaos Cullen slipped away from the group to find a quiet place to relax for ten or fifteen minutes. He needed it. The energy of the market had taken a lot out of him and he simply needed some peace to recharge before involving himself with dinner and further interaction with Nevena's family. The retriever, Beau, accompanied him, and now sat curled up on the floor by Cullen's feet. A welcome companion.

He also needed the time to clear his head. Even though the drive back to Haven was not awkward in the slightest, Cullen felt certain that there was unspoken tension growing between himself and Nevena. He had almost kissed her and knew he should not have. Should not have even been tempted to. Even if their arrangement allowed for it, there were specific circumstances under which intimate exchanges were allowed When he unlaced her boots at the ice rink there had been none of her sisters around, neither of her parents - it was an impulse. One he almost followed. He wondered what would have happened if his focus on her had not been shattered.

Even though he had been able to resist temptation there was feeling of conflict roiling around in his chest. He was becoming too familiar with her, too friendly and comfortable. The lines between their professional relationship and the genuine and growing friendship he felt forming between them were becoming blurred. He was beginning to care for her more and more. His heart was starting to take over his head. It did not help his confusion remembering that she seemed to want to reciprocate. That she leaned towards him with as much intent as he had.

Maybe it wasn't just him who was beginning to feel conflicted. Maybe she could see the waters growing muddied too. Maybe she didn't care. Maybe she did, and was too polite to say anything. Feelings weren't meant to be involved in these situations. In the past, he had managed to maintain a professional distance from his clients and, in several cases, was able to stay friends with them. Of course, none of those arrangements were for more than a day. And none of those women were Nevena Trevelyan.

Cullen rubbed his eyes and groaned quietly.

There was something about her he could not quite put his finger on that drew him towards her. The day they met in Red Jenny's he felt an instant spark, even though she was a nervous and fidgety greyhound at first. She was honest, he liked that about her. There was no pretence; the person she presented was the person she was. She was nervous and jumpy, but she was also warm, and bright, and he got the sense that she was a good person. And genuinely good people were rare, especially when they endured years of torment at the hands of their family... But then, maybe that was what made her a good person - having experienced the negativity most of her life she chose not to let it harden her, rather it made her more sympathetic.

He wasn't sure. If Cullen was totally honest with himself, he wasn't sure about much of anything right at that moment. He enjoyed her company, of that he was certain. They got on, and he found her attractive both in looks and personality - another two things he was certain of. Beyond that it was all a mystery. Whether the feelings and impulses he was experiencing were genuine or brought about because of the situation, he didn't know. And whether what he was beginning to experience was mirrored in Nevena was also a mystery.

He hated mysteries.

The logical thing to do was to discuss it. He wondered if he should apologize for the almost-kiss at the ice rink and if doing so might clear the air. But then, that could open up a whole new can of issues. What if she didn’t think he was trying to kiss her? Could she be that oblivious? If she wasn’t, and he apologised, would she be outraged or confused? Would she think he regretted trying to kiss her? Or would she think he regretted not kissing her? The kiss hadn’t happened, and Cullen didn’t think he would have regretted it if it had… but now he was starting to regret thinking about it over and over in his mind. Maybe they just needed to reiterate the ground rules of this working relationship. He didn't know, and he was sick of ruminating about it.

"There you are." Cullen cracked an eye open to the sound of Nevena's voice and one of the floor boards creaking. She was wrapping a bright blue ice pack in a dish towel. Beau chuffed and his tail wagged, thumping on the floor. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Cullen shifted on the couch to make room. Nevena limped when she walked and flopped down beside him. She curled her right leg up and applied the cold compress to her ankle. "Just needed a few minutes to myself."

"Sorry for interrupting. Do you want me to leave?"

"No," Cullen sighed and smiled wearily. "Stay. You're not bothering me."

She smiled, pleased. "Glad I'm not a bother." Cullen watched her adjust the ice pack on her ankle, a little grimace causing a crease to appear between her brows. "Ineria put the kettle on down stairs if you want tea or coffee."

"Maybe later." He ran a hand through his hair and leaned his head back on the cushions again. He and Nevena sat in companionable silence for a few minutes. The silence let Cullen's mind empty and despite his earlier thoughts about his and Nevena's working relationship, he felt more at ease with her there. Being alone in Ineria's house - unfortunately, Beau did not count - he was concerned about one of Nevena's sisters or her parents ambushing him. At least with Nevena there, she could act as a buffer. "How's your ankle?" he asked after a while, turning his head to the side.

"Sore," Nevena shrugged a shoulder and gave an amused smile. "But I'll soldier through it."

"Want me to have a look?" Cullen straightened up a little on the sofa now he felt more recharged. Nevena quirked a brow at him. "Part of my job is sports therapy, I know something about sport injuries."

"It's not bad," Nevena said. "I don't want to cause an imposition."

"Nevena." Cullen levelled her with a look. "I'm offering. If it was an imposition I wouldn't have offered. Now give me your foot."

After a moment's pause she began to shift in her seat. She leaned back against the arm of the sofa and stretched her right leg out, placing her foot gingerly in Cullen's hands. "Sorry if my feet are sweaty."

"Believe me," Cullen side-eyed her, "sweaty feet are part of the job." He pulled the hem of her sock down until it was around her heel and gently started to work is thumbs around her ankle applying small amounts of pressure. Her skin was slightly red around the joint, and there was a tiny amount of swelling. "Can you wriggle your toes for me?" She did. "And you feel this?" He ran his forefinger along the underside of her foot. She jerked, almost kicking him. "I'll take that as a yes." A smirk curled his lips.

"I'm ticklish."

Cullen lifted both brows and smiled broadly at her. "Really?"

"I don't like that look," Nevena remarked. "Stop making that face."

Chuckling, Cullen returned his attention to her foot and continued to move his thumbs around her ankle and the lower part of her leg. Every time he noticed Nevena wince or her foot jerked in response to where he was touching, he lessened the pressure, not wanting to cause more pain or further damage.

"Well, the good news is your ankle is not broken," he declared. Nevena pretended to wipe sweat from her brow in mock relief. "You have a mild sprain." He reached for the ice pack and carefully placed it over her ankle, holding it down on the affected area. "You're going to need to keep your weight off it for a day or so. And remember RICES."

“RICES?”

“Rest, ice, compression, elevation, and support.” Cullen explained, “best way to deal with a sprain.”

"Are you going to wait on me hand and foot, then?" she teased, perching her head on a fist and her elbow on the couch arm.

Cullen arched a brow, "Play your cards right."

Nevena chuckled and again they fell into relaxed silence. Cullen hoped his expression remained still, even as he berated himself for his words. He was flirting with her, and needed to stop. That was one thing only making their relationship more complex and messy than it needed to be. He should never have started flirting in the first place, but he did it in the hopes it would help her relax around her family. He never intended for the flirtation to become real. Even now, looking after her foot and making sure it wasn't seriously injured, that wasn’t just a professional courtesy. He could have told her simply to get it checked out at hospital if it got worse or hurt. He didn't need to check it over himself. But he did, and he had. All in the effort to be closer and in his eagerness to enjoy her company.

He was getting in over his head. He needed to back off.

"You're grinding your teeth." Nevena snapped him from his thoughts and he blinked back into the room.

"Sorry," he smiled briefly. "Thinking."

"About?"

You. Us. This situation. He caught himself before he said the words. The room was so relaxed and calm, he didn't want her to leave or for things to become awkward. "About why you stopped skating. What was the reason?"

"Life," Nevena inhaled deeply. "I just couldn't find time with work and doing a degree on the side. Something needed to be sacrificed."

"I see..." Cullen slowly nodded. "Life include your ex he asked, the question almost falling from his mouth without so much as a thought. His eyes widened, and he felt Nevena's leg go tense under his hand where he held the ice pack. Her whole body was still and Cullen did not dare to even breathe. He wanted the ability to reverse time and take back the question, but now it was there, hanging in the air like a curse. He hated himself in that moment. Hated how his brain betrayed him and his mouth gave the words air.

"Who have you been talking to?" Nevena jerked her foot back and pulled her sock back on. There was a coldness and anger to her voice Cullen had never heard before. "Why would you ask that?" She got to her feet and gingerly placed her right foot on the ground.

"Don't put your weigh--"

"Answer the question."

Cullen leaned forward on the couch. He examined her face, delicate features drawn into an expression of quietly simmering rage. He saw shame in her face too, a glimpse of fear and a hint of disappointment, as if he had broken some vow of trust.

"Arienne," Cullen huffed. "She spoke to me at the ice rink. She told me you quit because of your ex.”

"She had no right to say anything!" Nevena snapped, her voice rising a little. "And you... had no right to ask her questions about me. About my personal life. Have you had little meetings with my other sisters too? Heard all the great things about Rick, and how I'm a terrible person for breaking up with him?"

"No!" Cullen got to his feet, hands out in a placating manner. "It wasn't like that. It isn't like that." Nevena backed up when he stepped towards her, so he stopped moving. Her mouth was a thin line and there was colour rising in her cheeks. Was she afraid of him? That thought alone chilled him to the core. "Arienne approached me. She told me. I may have asked for more information but--"

"Why?" demanded Nevena, lifting her chin. "Why would you ask for more information from her and not ask me, personally?"

"Because you're so cagey about it," Cullen replied, fighting to control his tone. He did not want to make this disagreement worse by losing his temper. "You barely talk about him, and when you do it's like you think doing so is going to bring him to you, or something! I was just worried about you. There was nothing malicious about it."

"It's none of your business," Nevena snarled. "My relationship with Rick is a really sore subject. And it's nothing to do with you!"

Cullen bristled angrily, "I am trying to understand--"

"There's nothing to understand - at least not from Arienne or any of my other sister's for that matter!"

"Nevena--"

"If you cared, at all, you wouldn't go to them for information about me. Personal information."

"I do care," Cullen replied without thinking. Perhaps if the situation was different and tempers weren't so frayed it would have had more impact on them both, but the words went unheard.

"You obviously don't," Nevena swept a hand through her hair. "I don't talk about it because it's a difficult topic for me. Arienne, Clotilde, Ineria, even my parents - they didn’t want to know anything about what happened beyond what they decided when I told them I broke up with him. How dare you ask them or even pry for such personal information!"

"It just came up." Cullen turned in a circle, pushing his hands through his hair. How had the nice, quiet, relaxed atmosphere turned to this so suddenly. Anger pulsed through his veins and he grit his teeth together. "I wish you would be more forthcoming. That you would trust me. I would rather have heard it from you."

"You could have asked me," Nevena retorted. "It's my history - and I don't appreciate you going to other people to learn about me. Especially when they picked and chose what facts to believe." Her chest heaved when she paused. Cullen could see her chin trembling. "I will give you all the information in my own time. When I'm ready. Your opinion of me is only going to be worse if you go to other people."

"That's not..." Cullen trailed when he noticed Nevena turning and hobbling towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"I need some air." She stated and left, closing the door with a sharp 'click' behind her.

Cullen stared at the space she previously occupied for a few moments before growling to himself and rubbing his face in the palms of his hands. He began to pace back and forth along the floor, the pain his back now nothing compared to the grip around his chest. There was an ache there that wasn't there before, and it pulsed like a heartbeat, as if spreading venom around his body. He had experienced fights with other women before. Women he was actually in relationships with and they never had this effect on him. So why now? Why did having a fight with Nevena make him wrestle with the desire to run out the door and follow her?

Had he really done something so heinous? It was just a casual conversation between himself and Arienne... He thought Nevena was perhaps blowing it out of proportion but then... as the adrenaline began to subside and rational thought returned, he wondered how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. If she asked his friends about his personal life, his history to learn more about him. Would he appreciate it? Would he be happy about it?

The answer was no. He would be worried about how their accounts of his past, his life, and the person he was would tarnish the way she viewed him. It was the same situation. Nevena's sisters were critical of her, and though Arienne's comments were all to Nevena's defence, she did not know that. For all Nevena knew, they might have discussed what a terrible person she was for leaving someone willing to commit to her. That wasn't the case of course, but Nevena didn't know that.

Sighing, Cullen leaned his head back and dropped his shoulders. He would apologize. Not right now... he would give her some time to cool down. Time he needed as well. Perhaps when they returned to the cabin there would be a good opportunity. Just the two of them. They could kiss and make up - without the kiss part.

The same floorboard Nevena caused to squeak by stepping on it made the same noise, alerting Cullen to someone approaching. The door opened and he stared, heart in his throat, hoping it was Nevena and he could apologize sooner. When Nevan Trevelyan stuck his head around the door, Cullen hoped the disappointment he felt was wholly obvious.

"Nevena not with you?" asked Nevan briskly. Clearly Cullen's demeanour was not obvious to him.

"No," Cullen said. "She's gone to get some air." He flopped onto the couch, exhaling deeply as he leaned his head back and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. He heard the door click shut and assumed Nevan left.

"Good." Cullen's head shot up when he realised Nevan was still in the room and he was approaching to sit in an arm chair. "I want to speak to you."

"Why?" snapped Cullen. Being aggressive with Nevena's father was likely not the best way to talk to him, but at that moment in time Cullen did not care. He was already angry, and given their initial introduction where Nevan accused him of being there only for the money, Nevan Trevelyan's feelings were the least of Cullen's concerns.

"You don't like me," Nevan said matter-of-factly.

Cullen shrugged. "To be honest, you didn't make the best first impression."

Nevan laughed, "No. I know." He rubbed his chin. "I should apologize for that."

"But you won't."

"But I won't," Nevan nodded very slowly. "What do you do? Uh, Cullen wasn't it?"

"Rutherford. Yes," Cullen replied. He wasn't sure if Nevan was just forgetful or to be insulted that he needed to check what his name was. "I work in sports and rehabilitation therapy--"

Nevan grunted, "New age medicinal nonsense."

Cullen clenched a hand into a fist in his lap, focusing on the sensation of his nails pressing into the palm of his hand. "I work with veterans who have lost limbs or suffered debilitating injuries in the line of duty, helping them to relearn how to walk, and come to terms with what they experienced," he explained sharply. "If that strikes you as new age nonsense, then so be it. Thousands of people use the service and benefit from it. Lives improve because these often forgotten victims have somewhere to go, to talk about their trauma and move on from it. They have others they can share their stories with. Other survivors, other victims. It’s fulfilling work – not that I expect you to understand that.."

"You do anything beforehand? Anything with a real skill?" Nevan asked, looking bored. Cullen bit down on his tongue – hard. He fought the urge to shout at Nevan Trevelyan that his job did require skill. That his job was the most important thing in his life. He fought with every ounce of willpower and was forced to let Nevan’s flippant comment slide.

"I was in the Army," Cullen said, stiffly. There was a brief shine of interest and almost respect in Nevan's face. "For ten years."

"What happened?"

"I retired."

"Why?"

"Reasons." Cullen held Nevan's gaze until the older man looked away. Cullen was not about to budge. No one in Nevena's family needed to know all his history and the reason for Nevan's interrogation was clearly more than the typical ‘doting father’ act.

"Ever been married?"

"No."

"Children?"

"No."

"Not even some brat from a one night stand that you pay money to every month?"

"Nice to know you have such a high opinion of someone you don't even know," Cullen bit out. He was done being nice and polite. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I've never been married, never divorced, have fathered no children, and all my breakups have been relatively mess free," he sighed. "Are you finished with the third degree? Have I passed your test?"

Nevan steepled his fingers. For an instant there was tense quiet, the two men weighing the other up with silent, hard stares. Nevan brushed his thumb and forefinger over his moustache, "What are your intentions towards Nevena?"

Cullen tilted a brow, "My intentions?"

"Do you plan on marrying her?"

"I don't know?" Cullen squinted across the room at Nevan, uncertain what the angle of his question was or if he was being serious. Who asked that kind of a question after their daughter had only been dating someone for six months? Cullen worried perhaps Nevan was hazing him, that somehow he had found out the relationship was a sham and this was his attempt to trip Cullen up. "For now, we're enjoying each other's company."

"Didn't sound like you were enjoying each other's company when you were arguing just a moment ago."

"That was a private conversation," hissed Cullen.

"I'll be honest with you," Nevan said, waving his hand dismissively at Cullen's remark. "I don't like you. But that's par for the course. I’ve never liked any of the men my daughters brought home and I'm still not fond of the men they married. The only one I liked was Richard and that was because I knew his father. I want to find out what kind of man my daughter has replaced him with."

"With... no respect meant at all," Cullen shifted, "Richard, Rick, whatever, sounds like a nasty piece of work. I'm almost certain anyone would be better for her than him. Whatever you might believe of him. Or me."

Nevan narrowed his eyes. He got to his feet and Cullen heard a few of his joints pop on the way up. Despite his age, he looked fit and spry but time was definitely beginning to catch up to him. Nevan went to the window, he tucked his hands behind his back and stared out over the grounds of Haven. Cullen remained sitting. He scratched the back of his neck. Everything in his upbringing was telling him to show this man the respect he was clearly used to and expected. Cullen was being stubborn and was wrestling with his mother's voice in his mind telling him off. Nevan was showing him no respect, so why shouldn't he return the gesture.

"Nevena's very precious to me," Nevan declared after minutes of lengthy silence. "She's the only one of my daughters to ever disobey me."

"Imagine that," Cullen winced at himself. Even if he didn't like Nevan there was no reason for him to be snippy and childish.

"She's never been an easy girl. Even as a child she was troublesome and difficult. She always did what she wanted..." Nevan's voice softened. "She has a lot of her mother in her, though she doesn't realise it."

Cullen kept his mouth closed. He didn't see the resemblance between Nevena and Katrin at all, but he had not spent much time with Katrin so perhaps Nevan saw something he had yet to witness. Like warmth, affection, or even a personality.

"We have money, you know?" Nevan clicked his tongue. "What am I saying? Of course you know. Why else would you have courted her?"

"Nevena mentioned it when we got here. Shortly before you arrived, actually," Cullen said. "And I didn’t know before she told me. I 'courted' your daughter because of everything she has to offer as a person – which is a lot. Her kindness, her warmth, her affection and honesty, those are some of the reasons I courted her. That I care for her. I make my own money, I don't need any one else's. Nor would I ask for it."

"She's the only one never to ask me for a handout," Nevan's tone had a hint of pride. "Always been determined to make it on her own. Even that silly apartment of hers. She could have had a luxury penthouse if she asked. But she wanted to pay her own way."

"Respecting the value of money is never a bad thing." Slowly Cullen turned on the sofa to face Nevan's back where he continued to stand facing out of the window. He was still trying to find Nevan's angle but for the life of him could not figure it out. Was this some over-protective parent speech? Or was this a talk he gave to all the partners of his daughters? Or was he simply trying to find some kind of common ground? "My parents instilled it in me."

"You look after her, do you?" Nevan turned to him. "Do you live together?"

"No," Cullen shook his head once. "And Nevena is strong enough to look after herself. She doesn't need me to take care of her."

"Of course she does." Nevan's attitude turned, the warmth in his voice  into frustration. "She's simply stubborn. That she refuses to settle down. Why she insists on working..."

"Maybe she enjoys it?" suggested Cullen, rising to his feet. "She doesn't strike me as the kind of person who would be happy sitting at home and living a life of luxury. She's different and knows her own mind. That's something you should admire about her, not criticize."

"Enjoys it?" Nevan scoffed. "Long hours, noisy brats, lousy pay, no health benefits - not even dental. She should have settled down with Richard. Everything would be fine then."

Cullen rolled his eyes. "Y'know, Nevena's right. If I want to learn anything about this ex of hers, I need to speak to her for the truth. You and everyone else seem to hold him on some impossible pedestal."

"You never met him, did you?"

"No, and given some of the things I've heard, I'm glad. I would have dragged Nevena out of that relationship whether you liked it or not."

"I beg your pardon?" Nevan's nostril's flared.

"Is it true you set them up?" asked Cullen, crossing his arms. "Is it true you kept insisting she go out with him? Even though she told you she didn't like him?” His temper was rising again and he could feel his muscles tensing with every word. "There was obviously something wrong!  She shuts down as soon as his name is mentioned!  Do you think that is normal?” He took a step towards Nevan, lifting his chin in an open challenge. “Did you even care when she dropped out of your life for three years?"

"How dare-"

"How dare I?" Cullen spat. "No, Mr. Trevelyan, how dare you. You come in here, interrogating me about my life, my work, my intentions towards Nevena. Acting the concerned parent as if you actually care for her. I don't think you've ever really cared about her wellbeing, and certainly not more than your image and privilege. I care for her. A great deal."

"You're not a parent!" Nevan shouted. "Do not lecture me on whether I do or do not care for my own daughter!" All that divided him and Cullen was the couch, without it, Cullen was almost certain Nevan would have thrown a punch. "I care for her more than you could possibly understand! She is--"

Cullen saw Nevan's eyes widen. A look of realisation flashed across his face and the fight vanished from his expression and body.

Curious, Cullen shifted his weight. "She is... what?"

"Nothing," Nevan growled. "None of your concern." His stance stiffened and slowly he moved across the room to the door, his shoulders squared. "Nevena is immensely important to me. I want what is best for her," Nevan added reaching for the door handle. "I do not know if you are what is best for her."

Cullen snorted, "If that's your feeling towards her, then no one will ever be 'best' for her."

"Perhaps," Nevan nodded. "You may have a point, Mr. Rutherford. If so, what does that spell for you?"

As Nevan left closing the door behind him, Cullen slowly exhaled. His focus went to the sensation of air leaving his lungs and the way they emptied. It helped to relieve some of the tension from his body and he sank back down into the cushions of the couch.

He wondered how the day had turned so dramatically on its head from the enjoyment at the ice rink and the market to this. He realised his confused feelings towards Nevena were causing more trouble than he first thought. He needed to get his head together.

Thanks a lot for reading, I appreciate it a lot. Please remember to comment, either in tags/in the replies, or in reblogs. Or on AO3/ff.net if you prefer.  Next chapter will be up soonish. I appreciate your patience. 

If you enjoy my writing and would like to support me in other ways, please know I have a ko-fi account where you can make donations, if you so choose. 

Thanks again, see you in the next chapter.

[ipoddymouth]

that crazy @mackabees and her memes! anyway, @madminniefics tagged me to do rowan and louis from ‘come hell or high water,’ and since literally everyone else has already been tagged, i encourage for everyone to just post one of these on their own. for the culture.

WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO: Make breakfast: Rowan: I swear to god, if you make a woman joke- 

Louis: I wasn’t going to!

Rowan:I don’t eat what Louis makes. Out of principle.

Louis: Rowan’s on her morning health shit and I don’t have time for that. Neither of us cook, but she would be the one to do it.  Cuddle the other for no reason: Louis: Let’s take a moment to imagine Rowan cuddling me for no reason. Sleep on the couch after an argument: Louis: Rowan would never not sleep on a bed.  Drive and who is most likely to ride shotgun: Louis: Rowan, you actually have to talk in this too! Rowan: What?

Louis: Who’s driving? Me or you?

Rowan: Can you even drive?

Louis: They have cars in England! And I went to school in Missouri!

Rowan: I’m driving.  Choose the music in the car: Louis: I take first control of the aux in the Uber. Get jealous: Louis: Rowan, because she’s not paying attention to this anymore and that means that I’m going to make fun of her until she acknowledges me again. Break the expensive gift rule: Rowan: I’m paying attention! Louis breaks the expensive gift rule because he’s a master of deception.

Louis: Hey!

Rowan: I told you that I’m paying attention! You just always want to talk first! Remember anniversaries: Rowan: You gonna answer this one?

Louis: [looks away]

Rowan: It’s me. Sneak sweets in the shopping cart: Rowan: It’s not sneaking. Hog the covers at night: Louis: Rowan hogs the pillows, the blankets, the bed, the-

Rowan: How’s that couch feel?   1. What do you do when the other is upset? Louis: I call the fucking National Guard because hell hath no fury like a Rowan scorned. I also try and make her laugh, because if she laughs then she’s more likely to tell me why she’s mad in the first place. - Rowan: I try to get him to talk about it, but first I try and calm him down some so that he feels more relaxed.

2. Who is more romantic? Give examples. Rowan: Louis is the more extravagant one, which is romantic, right? That scene at the end of Trainwreck where Amy does that dance? That’s Louis. He wants everyone to know that he loves me. I secretly love it, even if it’s embarrassing. - Louis: I think that Rowan is. Like, secretly. She just... I don’t know, she does this thing where you can just tell that she cares. I love it. I love her. 3. What do your families think of your relationship? Louis: Rowan hasn’t met my family, but they like her. Rowan’s family loves me. I’m her brother’s favorite sibling.  - Rowan: Can we figure out why Raymond loves you so much? What did you say to him? 4. If you had to wear a couples costume for Halloween, what would you go as? Rowan: Shaq and Kobe. - Louis: Messi and Ronaldo. 5. Are you both earlier rises? Or do you both sleep in? Or is there one of each? Louis: We wake up at the same time because we have to get to work super early in the morning. 

6. Do you have any routines at night? Before bed, in bed, etc. Louis: We have to fight about something every night. It really relaxes us. - Rowan: It’s not a fight to the death, but it’s like a step above a playfight. We just like to annoy each other. That’s the basis of this relationship. 7. What nicknames do you have for each other? Louis: Bow-in.

Rowan: That was a real turning point in our relationship. It was also almost my first assault charge. 8. Say you had a child, who is the strict parent and who is the lenient parent? Rowan: ‘Child’ is a slur.   - Louis: Judging by how we do with the Diablos, we’re both going to be chill ass parents because no one has the time to be on a kid’s ass 24/7. Like, I have a life, too. 9. Would you rather go to a fancy restaurant for a date or stay at home and watch movies with pizza? Louis: Beer n basketball. Right, love?

Rowan: Couldn’t’ve said it better. 10. What first attracted you about the other person? Louis: I knew straight away that Rowan hated me. From the first interaction. Pure hatred. And it was that unyielding anger that she held towards me that made me want to get to know her better. I’m kidding; it was her pretty face and unwavering confidence. But her hating me was also a good draw. - Rowan: (laughing) I didn’t hate you. Dislike, yeah. And I liked your pretty face too, and your confidence when it came to not backing away from my shit. It’s pretty hot, Tomlinson.

[unholyhelbiglinked]

Bite Me | Children of the Damned

The heat ofthe flames licked at the edges of my skin, the overpowering stench of oil and charred wood coated my lungs and made my eyes water. I had never seen fire raise this far, or carry this much damage.

Elizabeth grasped my shoulder, her finger cold against the fabric of my dress. I was quiet, eyes glossed over as I silently directed my attention her way. She stood strong, shoulders squared and hands clenching her stomach.

A thick metallic scent of blood filled my lungs more than anything. That familiar sharpness of pain overtaking my throat as I cleared it. The fingers that were wrapped around my wrist continued to tug.

"Rowan, it was an accident." The younger of the Forbes children pleaded with me. Her eyes were a soft crystal, jaw clenched as the moonlight shaded her features in an odd light. "Father will have my hide if we're here when he arrives."

"I-I know." I said, taking a step back away from the edge of the dirt road. A carriage was overturned, horses having run towards town with only a few more minutes before people figured out that something was wrong.

Flames had spread across the mass of the vehicle, but two bodies lay lazily against the dirt. Their throats were ripped out, thick blood dripping past their chests and wicking into the fabric of their attire.

"Ro,"

"Okay," I said, barely above a whisper as I turned around quickly and stared walking towards the woods. This was bad, terrible even. I had fled to Mystic Falls for a reason. It was severely lacking of the undead. But this MO? I had seen it many times before. Lived it.

My fingers laced with Elizabeth's as I instinctively pulled her behind me, dragging her back to the house. Her family had been nice enough to take me in this last year. I had lived with them while I attended classes with his youngest. Margaret was a different story, rarely showing her face outside of the bar.

It was an odd sight. The sheriff's daughter becoming the town drunk in order to drown her sorrows. I didn't blame her, but would never start drinking myself. Not with the clean image I had built in my time here.

"That was horrible." Liz panted, the two of us finally far enough from the crime scene to return to a normal pace. "There was blood everywhere."

"I know," I let out a thick and shaky sigh as we stopped right by the edge of the tree line. Liz was shivering, my first instinct to pull my jacket from my shoulders. She shook her head in protest. I ignored her and draped it over her. She clenched it, not saying another word. "We can't mention it to anyone. William will have both of our heads."

She nodded in agreement, her dark rooted hair flowing over her shoulders gracefully. "Our little secret, promise?"

Liz held her hand up, her pinky trembling from the cold. I took it, making the same gesture as I engulfed her hand with mine. "Promise."

I drew breath into my lungs, the air pressing against my throat in a chilled manor. It burned and bit, but anything was better than that feeling of fire. Sweat was pressed against my brow as I glanced around.

Elena's living room was mostly dark, the movie we were watching had finished, a blue flickering screen giving the area an odd and unwelcoming glow. Elena was passed out on the couch, clenching her blankets to her chin as I shifted my position on chair.

"Are you okay?" Jenna's voice filled my ears. I hadn't even realized her standing against the doorframe. She was dressed in sweats and an oversized sweatshirt. The strawberry blonde rubbed the edge of her eye sleepily. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay," I said truthfully. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream, I guess."

The sun was begging to peak above the edges of the horizon. It was too early to go back to bed now. The both of us realizing that quickly. Elena remained fast asleep as we sat in silence for a few seconds.

"Do you want any coffee?" Jenna was quick to stand, running a hand through her messy hair. The scent of caffeine filled my lungs. I didn't realize she had started a pot already. My senses were dull and overwhelmed, everything about that dream taking me back to another time and another place.

She gestured for me to follow her into the kitchen as Elena stirred a bit on the couch. It was almost rhythmic to see her work; grasping two coffee mugs before pouring the black liquid into them. I thanked her as she leaned heavily against the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"Elena talked to me the other day." Jenna raised the cup to her lips. I watched her silently, not sure where she was going with this. "She told me about that little trip you took her on."

I stood up straight "I am so sorry about that Ms. Gilbert. I thought she needed a few hours of out of town to clear her head-"

Jenna held up a palm. "Call me Jenna, Ms. Gilbert was my sister, and oddly enough my mom." She messed with the handle on her mug. "I knew that Elena would find out the truth about being adopted soon enough. I just hoped her mother would be the one to tell her, not me."

I nodded knowingly. "She seems to be handling it well. She's strong."

"I know." Jenna let out a sigh. "You and Stefan being there really helps. I hope you know that."

"I know," I told her softly. "I was hoping it would."

The school had an eerie feeling in the middle of the night. The darkness of the hallways were haunting, everything looking more like a movie set than a place of learning. The moonlight gave off an odd glow every once and awhile, streaming through the windows as it left patches on the floor.

Stefan had called me from Elena's earlier that night, begging me to head to the school to check out this journal lead. Jeremy had given the book to Mr. Saltzman, something I was sure rested in his desk. I didn't exactly know why he wanted it, though.

I was silent as I walked halfheartedly into his empty classroom. The desk was propped open, a light still illuminating part of the room in a golden glow. The sound of a creaky chair leg caught my attention, a rough vanilla scent invading my senses as I turned around just in time.

The sound of a blast of air filled my ears, a wooden tipped stake flying my way. The material was rough against my palm as I caught it right before it drove its way into my chest. I was breathing heavily, shocked expression meeting that of Alaric Saltzman.

Alaric was quick to try and reload. I pressed him up against the chalkboard quickly, pushing the tip of the stake right under his chin until he dropped the weapon her held.

"We have to talk." I growled, kicking the gun further away before backing away from him. Have a seat."

He was reluctant, staring at his own creation for a few seconds before lowering himself into the nearest desk available. A sad look was etched across his features. It almost made me feel bad for him.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I knelt down and grasped his makeshift gun, placing it on the desk while Mr. Saltzman watched me curiously. "You made this?"

He nodded, "It's pressure sensitive. It only fires if you apply the right amount."

I sat on the top of the desk next to him, messing with the one stake that I still held in my hand. It was a nervous habit, always needing something to play with. "You clearly know about vampire's. Which begs the question, are you even a history teacher?"

"Of course I am." He scoffed, running a hand through his hair with exasperation. "So was my wife until a dark vampire with an affinity for leather jackets ripped her throat out with his canine teeth... after that, I devoted my life to finding her killer."

I was silent for a second, biting my lip as he looked down at his hands on the desk. "Damon Salvatore."

Alaric nodded solemnly, letting out a shaky sigh. His jaw was clenched as he leaned back in his chair. I could tell he wanted to leave, but didn't make a move to do so. "Before I came to Mystic Falls, I thought you were all monsters."

"That changed?"

"It did. The way you and Stefan protect Elena like you have souls." He shook his head "It's completely different from the man that I saw murder my wife in cold blood."

I scoffed, lifting my chin slightly "Damon Salvatore has little to no soul left. He cares about one thing and that's my sister. He'll do anything to get that journal that Jeremy gave you."

The history teacher turned hunter stood quickly, my eyebrows raising as he walked over to his desk- moving a few papers around frantically. "It was right here," he let out a breath "I swear."

"I believe you." I told him, standing myself. "I think someone else got to it first."

Alaric crossed his arms over his chest, clenching his broad jaw. "Good thing I made copies."

The scent of Italian food hit my stomach like a truck, the smell of marinara sauce making my mouth water as I stood outside of the restaurant. Rain had fallen earlier, the wet asphalt giving off a metallic smell. One that was earthy and reminded me more of the country than a small town.

Cliché music filled my ears, the golden light of the restaurant reflected off of the pavement, a whole new silence overtaking me as I stared down at my watch for a few seconds. I had only spoken to Sammy once on the phone, her voice light and airy.

It almost felt unfair to start a relationship now, or even consider going on a date. I had a purpose here and didn't intend to get distracted. Caroline would never let up if I did any different though. The least I could do was try to go on one date with the girl.

"Oh my god, you must be Rowan." A girl suddenly said, drawing my attention from my phone screen. I glanced up at her, a bit of a smile on my face. She was stunning. I didn't have any doubt that she would be. If Caroline had approved, she wouldn't be anything less.

Her stance was strong and tall, deep golden hair flowing past her shoulders. Sammy's features were sharp and well defined in the dull moonlight. She was sporting a simple black pea coat over a maroon top, her smile lopsided and dorky.

"Sammy?" I lifted my eyebrows

"Of course," She chuckled softly, a sweet sound. "Unless you were expecting someone else."

"No," I cracked a smile "No I wasn't."

Her cheeks were a bit red under the light of the lamp post, her own smile pressing against her lips as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Shall we?"

I nodded and linked arms with her, her touch soft against mine as we walked into the restaurant. The garlic scent was overwhelming, but nice at the same time. It was an older restaurant, the walls lined in aged brick as the hostess looked up with polite expression on her features.

"Do you have a reservation?" She asked, lifting her eyebrows.

"Pierce,"

The woman nodded and glanced at her seating chart as I heard a light scoff behind me. Sammy's eyes darted towards the noise as I turned slightly. A shorter girl stood there, her hair black and lanky as she shoved her hands in her pockets. She had a take-out bag in her hands, the deep fabric of her sweatshirt contrasting with her pale skin.

I could almost feel the color drain from my face, my lips parting slightly as she cracked a smile. "That's a name I haven't heard in a long time."

Sammy's fingers reflexively tightened around my forearm at this. It was almost instinct for her, both of us getting an unsettling vibe off of the girl that stood before us. I had seen her before in Mystic Falls, just not in this century.

"Anna?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Who else?" She smirked, gaze darting to my date for the evening. The same date who was being quiet through all of this. "I don't mean to disturb your evening. We'll catch up later, okay?"

"Sounds good," I said the words like they were foreign to me. Anna and I weren't exactly close, having shared one or two conversations in the past. I didn't even realize she had been turned. It made sense, though. Her mother was a known vampire and friend to Katherine.

Anna nodded as she narrowed her dark rimmed eyes. I could feel Sammy's nails dig into my arm even more as the cold wind from outside once again filled the lobby of the restaurant. I wanted to shrug off the deadened feeling that rushed through my veins at the sight of the girl, but something stopped me.

"I'm sorry," I let out a sigh, "I didn't know she would be here."

"An ex of yours?" The blonde asked playfully, that same smile back on her lips.

"Not even close," I laughed "an old friend, I suppose."

She snorted when she laughed, tears forming in her eyes as that lopsided grin kept showing up. Her touch was light against my elbow as we stood on her highly illuminated porch. A jeep sat in the driveway as our breath mingled nicely in the frigid air.

Her nose was turning red, raw from the temperature, but neither of us seemed to notice. We had a good time, Sammy having enough of a sense of humor to brush off the catastrophes of tonight.

"So I'll definitely be getting a second date right?" I teased, biting the edge of my lip as she lifted an eyebrow.

"Huh," Sammy lifted her chin, studying me. "I don't know, Rowan. You did spill a whole entire cup of coffee."

"Oh, like that's any better than tripping the waiter at that restaurant?"

"That was an accident!" She chuckled, pushing her hair away from her face once more. It seemed to be a nervous habit, a cute one at that. She moved her touch down my arm, it was subtle and delicate, but enough to get me to actually focus. Her fingers squeezed mine slightly as she spoke. "But yes, you can count on a second date."

The curtains near the front door shifted, distorting the patch of light that the two of us had been standing in. Sammy's hazel gaze moved towards the disturbance before darting back to me. "I'll call you,"

Before I could say anything else she pressed her lips softly against mine. It was a quick kiss, her scent a mix of citrus and vanilla. The girl pulled open her door and stepped inside, a shocked smile still lingering as I shook my head and started walking towards my car.

This had been the first time in a long time that I had actually been out on a date. I almost felt guilty, that rough sensation pulling at the pit of my stomach and the back of my mind. It was just one date, though- a hopeful second one on the way.

I settled into my car, pushing the keys in the ignition as I waited a few seconds for the engine to warm up and roar to life. The windshield clouded up quickly, pale moonlight making it look more like frost than condensation.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, something I was thankful enough to avoid during the date. It's blue glow filled the cab of the car as I checked the notifications. There had been a few missed calls, and one or two unopened messages.

Stefan: SOS, ELENA GONE. ANNA IN TOWN.

"Shit," I mumbled, my stare moving to the rearview mirror just in time to make eye contact with the dark rimmed devil herself. She was in the backseat, a sly smile on her face as she lunged forward.

A rough burn filled my neck as I let out a gasp, her one arm wrapping around the bulk of my neck while the other pushed the pointed tip of a butterfly needle into my closest vein. The warmth the coated my veins soon turned to a sharp burn, vision blurring and fading.

"Sorry, sweetie." I heard Anna snarl "it's just business."  

[A/N: Wow, can Rowan ever catch a break? Nope, the answer is no.]

[pixelated-alien]

Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify

is your room messy or clean? Both. It gets messy but then I go in and clean everything

what color are your eyes? Dark Golden Brown

do you like your name? why? The name I was born with? No. Horrible people have had my name on their tongues and what a pleasure it is knowing these people will never speak of my identity one day after my name is changed

what is your relationship status? In a relationship

describe your personality in 3 words or less emotional. thats it lol

what color hair do you have? Dark brown, but in the summer, it lightens to a reddish brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? A blue Ford Escape

where do you shop? Target lmao

how would you describe your style? whatever is comfortable or appropriate at the time.

favorite social media account does snapchat count?

what size bed do you have? im usually on a queen, but bc i moved back home, im on a twin ):

any siblings? I have 2 older sisters, an older brother and a younger brother

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Germany or Alaska. They seem like amazing, beautiful places and I love the cold.

favorite snapchat filter? Either the dog filter, or the one with the aviator glasses

favorite makeup brand(s)  NYX, Becca, UD

how many times a week do you shower? I shower everyday, and i occasionally take a bath too

favorite tv show? Ummm House M.D

shoe size? 9

how tall are you? 5′7

sandals or sneakers? depends honestly

do you go to the gym? LMAO

describe your dream date April 15th. Kidding. Idk, I’ve already had my dream date with my boyfriend tbh. I honestly just love going out and doing literally anything and coming home and eating takeout or pizza and just being together. I’m not picky 

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $0 but i have cards???

what color socks are you wearing? no socks 

how many pillows do you sleep with? 5 or more

do you have a job? what do you do? I work at the zoo as a ropes course instructor. I basically work on a 50ft tall metal obstacle course

how many friends do you have? Just a few

whats the worst thing you have ever done? I honestly don’t know. Probably attempting to kill myself I guess.

whats your favorite candle scent? i dont have a specific favorite, but i enjoy what my boyfriend likes to call, “dark scents” lmao

3 favorite boy names Grey, Mason, Killian

3 favorite girl names Everett, Ophelia, Rowan

favorite actor? either Colin Firth or Robert Sean Leonard

favorite actress? I honestly dont know tbh. I dont have the mental capacity to think about movies rn

who is your celebrity crush? Adrian Brody

favorite movie? Driving Miss Daisy

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I dont read enough lately to have a favorite book at the moment

money or brains? brains 100%

do you have a nickname? what is it? At work they call me Scary Cary. My boyfriend calls me beautiful bunny lol 

how many times have you been to the hospital? many many times. shoutout to chronic illnesses

top 10 favorite songs Oh boy. Cough  Syrup- Young the Giant, Satellite- Guster, Seasons- Future Islands, Darling- Real Estate, Wish I Knew You- The Revivalists, Lately- Humble & Blisse, Apocalypse- Cigarettes After Sex, Tongues of Fire- John Mark McMillan, Feel It Still- Portugal. The Man, Easy Way- For The Foxes

do you take any medications daily? Daily, no. 

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Pretty normal, a little oily what is your biggest fear? Being abandoned or forgotten

how many kids do you want? 0

whats your go to hair style? down and natural. sometimes straightened if i have time

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) its normal. on the biggish side 

who is your role model? i dont really have one. Im just kinda doin my own thing figuring shit out on my own

what was the last compliment you received? idk probably something from my boyfriend

what was the last text you sent? It was a screenshot of a song I sent to my boyfriend

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? I honestly dont know.

what is your dream car? Hyundai Genesis Coupe

opinion on smoking? I dont care. I dont partake though

do you go to college? LOL PENDING

what is your dream job? Domestic Violence Therapist/Counselor 

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Either one. as long as it isnt the middle of nowhere or a big ass city

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?no

do you have freckles? I have a few on my face and a bunch on my shoulders and back

do you smile for pictures? sometimes

how many pictures do you have on your phone? A LOT

have you ever peed in the woods? Ummm probably when I was younger

do you still watch cartoons? Hell yeah

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonalds

Favorite dipping sauce? Sweet and sour

what do you wear to bed? underwear. sometimes a shirt, sometimes no shirt

have you ever won a spelling bee? yeah in elementary school

what are your hobbies? sleeping. eating. being the worlds biggest baby tbh

can you draw? kinda i guess

do you play an instrument? I play the trumpet!

what was the last concert you saw? AWOLNATION

tea or coffee? Tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks wtf

do you want to get married? Absolutely

what is your crush’s first and last initial? ZL

are you going to change your last name when you get married? definitely yes

what color looks best on you? Red, but bc of my skin tone, all colors look good tbh

do you miss anyone right now? oh definitely

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

do you believe in ghosts? hell yeah

what is your biggest pet peeve? people who say sure, or being cut off when im talking

last person you called my friend Meighan

favorite ice cream flavor? i dont like ice cream ):

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular oreos wtf lol

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? they taste the same to me 

what shirt are you wearing? a long sleeve air force PT shirt

what is your phone background? my lock screen is my boyfriend, my home screen is Spike Spiegel lol

are you outgoing or shy? a little of both

do you like it when people play with your hair? only if its my boyfriend. anyone else, dont fucking touch me lol

do you like your neighbors? eh

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? whenever i shower. so it varies

have you ever been high? yeah and it was dumb 

have you ever been drunk? yeah and that was also dumb lol

last thing you ate? i dont even remember tbh

favorite lyrics right now “When people change, they gain a peace but they lose one too.”

summer or winter? Winter

day or night? Night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk

favorite month? any cold fall/winter month. it varies here in the south

what is your zodiac sign Aries

who was the last person you cried in front of? my parents