#i want to cry seeing what we've devolved into

[pakeithpsy]

You know what, I'm just gonna fuckin say it (cw: Israel/Palestine, police brutality)

When one singular black person died y'all and the rest of the Social Media Warriors™ were out there rioting in the streets, smashing windows and setting fire to the establishment and attacking random passerby but when THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS of Palestinians are dying your only solution is to yell "SWIPER NO SWIPING!" into the void on Not-Twitter and forcibly shove horrific, graphic images of human suffering down my throat while offering no actual solutions to prevent further atrocities from happening other than worthless boycotts of every single company in America that are all doomed to fail because it's basically public knowledge at this point that CEOs are vile, irredeemable filth obsessed with greed and will gladly lay off hundreds of their employees just so they and their shareholders can buy another yacht yet y'all seem to think we live in A Christmas Carol or Steven Universe where all it takes to convince heartless, selfish, genocidal monsters to change is to sing a dopey little song about "feewings" and they'll immediately see the error of their ways and repent.

You are not radicalizing anyone, you are desensitizing people by harassing us for not spending every waking moment of our lives watching death and destruction while giving us no sense of hope or ways to prevent this from happening. I know what's happening, I FUCKING HATE IT, IT'S DISGUSTING AND INHUMANE, but what am I supposed to do about it? It feels like nothing will actually help - boycotts will only punish innocent employees and rich assholes with way too much money can immediately undo all our hard work with the press of a button. It feels like we can't do anything to prevent this and anything we can do doesn't matter because we're trapped in late-stage capitalism where rich and powerful people can do whatever the hell they want as long as it benefits them personally, rest of the world or even basic human survival be DAMNED.

Happy fucking Independence Day. Probably the last one we're ever gonna have before congress brings back dictatorships and church and state. This country is a fucking embarrassment to humanity and you people are a bunch of hypocritical, self-righteous blowhards who don't believe any of the shit you actually say and only want to be on the "right side" of history to make yourself feel better about the fact that you've done nothing meaningful or worthwhile with your life and that we're all fucking doomed because we had to treat the 2016 election like a fucking reality show because the memes were too damn hilarious. What a sick joke. Australia has an arts program that is giving hundreds of struggling artists the funding and platform they need while our country is destroying all our breathable oxygen in the name of not having to pay artists. Fuck this country and especially fuck all you worthless loudmouths who have done nothing but spout meaningless words while refusing to take any action out of fear of scraping your knee. You've been shouting "FREE PALESTINE!" when all you really wanted was Free Attention. The pandemic was a sign from God that He was sick of our shit and we should have let Him finish us off before we could make things worse.

[angelpuns]

Kid Leo Blurb

Another Kid Leo blurb for the "Reunion" Arc!! Enjoy!!

“ there's an idea. Let's just throw Raph off a waterfall again,” Donnie chuckled, taking a sip of his drink. 

Leo gasped, quickly covering his ears. He didn't wanna hear about that. It sounded scary! 

Even though Raphie was okay now and they caught him- what if they did it again and then Raphie got hurt! 

It would be all his fault because he couldn't unlock his powers…. 

“ Donnie…” (Raph)

“ what!? It's what Leo would have said!”

The room went quiet at that, the mood darkening. No one said anything for a moment. 

Until Leo piped up. 

“ I don't want Raphie to jump off a waterfall..” He murmured, eyes still red from crying before, “ that sounds really scary…”

Mikey gave him a comforting pat on his head, smiling softly, “ don't worry, Lee, we're not gonna let Raph do that again!” 

Leo nodded, scrubbing at his face a bit. 

Draxum cleared his throat a little.

“Might I point out that you all had also been training at the time,” He reminded, “ and had already been channeling your mystic powers through my weapons, so it wasn't too far of a jump to make,” 

“ perhaps Leonardo just needs a bit more training to-”

“WE’VE BEEN TRAININ’” Raph cut him off, slamming his hands onto the table and standing to his full height, “ IT'S JUST ABOUT ALL WE'VE BEEN DOIN’!” 

“Raph..” (Mikey and Donnie?)

“WE’VE BEEN DOIN’ ALL WE CAN AND NOTHIN’ IS WORKIN’! “ His voice warbled, hands clenching and unclenching. Raph scrubbed at his eyes and sniffed, voice weak when he spoke again. 

“ I just….I just want my little brother back….” He whimpered, tears slipping down his cheeks, “ Raph is so tired…I never got to-”

He devolved into sobs, burying his face in his hands and slumping back down into his chair. 

Leo stared with wide eyes. He'd seen Raphie cry before. Of course he had. Raphie was sensitive and kind and the bestest, nicest big brother ever. 

And Leo had made him cry. 

It was quiet for a moment before April hurried to get up and hug Raph tight around his neck, rubbing his shell comfortingly. Mikey let out a long sigh, his voice shaking. 

But he didn't cry. 

“ We're all just so tired, Barry….we need help” he murmured, “Training hasn't worked and…abd I'm not sure its going to. I don't know what to do anymore….”

Draxum sighed, setting Hus mug down and running his temples. 

“ right…no training, then. For now, anyway,” he murmured, frowning faintly, “ Donatello, you can give me all the information you've gathered and we'll work from there.”

“ your own abilities needed some sort of emotional catalyst to be unlocked, but we have the time and the resources now to try something else,”

“perhaps we can utilize a spell that allows us to see into Leonardo's mindscape. it will take time and preparation, but we should be able to see if there is anything blocking his ninpo”

Leo had barely been listening. He was thinking about Raphie jumping off the waterfall. And how Draxum said he needed a ‘cat-list’. He didn't really know what that meant, but he needed to do something scary to unlock Hus powers. 

If Raphie could do it, so could he! 

It sounded really scary, but everything was really scary right now. He needed to unlock his powers. 

“ what's most important is that Leonardo trusts you all. So we need to be forthright with him about the process, even if it frightens him,” Draxum continued. 

Leo was already up and out of the room. He had a plan. It was scary, but he had to try. 

He had to try for his family. 

[tinkabelle24]

Remains

Chapter 3: Mutual Desperation (PART 1)

An unexpected illness divides the group.

TW! Blood/Gore.

Chapter 2

---

(6 months earlier...)

Exhaling shakily, Addie finally bit; selecting Matt's contact icon and pressing 'Call', removing her facemask as she lifted the screen to her ear.

She was a ring away from being sent to voicemail, when he picked up. "Yeah?"

The blonde pushed her tongue to the wall of her mouth, stifling a scoff. You don't speak to me all day, and the first thing you say is 'yeah?'. Whatever...

"Hey. I'm, uh..." She shifted awkwardly against the break room counter; voice low, in consideration for the few co-workers attempting to eat their reheats in peace. "...I'm gonna need you to pick Luc up again tonight. Please."

"...Why?"

What the hell's with these one-worded responses?

Addie couldn't help herself, this time. She scoffed. "Matt, I've been under the pump all week, with this virus going around. You know that if I could leave, I would."

"Can't you get an exception?" He sighed in exasperation. No, I can't. You know I can't. "I have stuff on tonight, Ad-"

"What, got a date with your side-piece?" Addie caught one of the women staring, and not with concern. She hurled the nosy bitch an admonitory look, before swiftly turning her back; stepping to the furthest wall.

"...Ad, we've had this talk, many times: nothing physical ever happened-"

"Yeah, and I still don't believe it. But you keep telling yourself-"

"Want me to pick Luc up, or not?"

"...What happened to your oh so important 'stuff'-"

"Like you give a shit about what goes on in my life."

Tears seared the blonde's eyes, as she shot back: "That's not true, and you know it!"

"Uh-huh, sure. We'll see you tonight, whenever that is. Bye."

"Matt-"

Click.

Addie cursed as she tore the device from her ear; clenching it tightly, imagining her husband's throat.

You're such a... fucking... NO!!!

Not here! Dear God, please, not here!

Sucking in a trembling breath, Addie proceeded swiping the tears from her cheeks with her undershirt sleeves; sniffling, as she pocketed the phone.

Shake it off. Just a few more hours...

Tentatively, she turned; the woman was still staring.

"Eyes down, Sandra! Krijg de kolere..."

~

Chaos.

That was the best way Addie could describe the atmosphere, the moment she stepped back onto the floor - utter chaos.

The blonde kept her gaze low as she strode down the crowded hall to her station; narrowly avoiding careening hospital beds, frantic physicians, and zombified nurses.

The amalgamation of sounds (alarms, chatter, crying, coughing, groaning...) assaulted her senses, skyrocketing her already intense anxiety.

Typically, it wouldn't bother her; she'd lived in this environment long enough, it'd devolved into semi mollifying white noise - not this. This was like standing under an idling plane.

Addie's heart sank when she spotted one of her fellow nurses, Ben, slumped awkwardly against a trolley - unconscious. Poor guy had been here long before she clocked on, thirteen hours ago.

I can't possibly leave you like that...

Snatching a thermal blanket from said trolley, she quickly tucked a it around his shoulders, then proceeded pushing his legs further toward the wall. They were out so far into the walkway, it was a miracle he hadn't been run over-

"On your left!"

As the startled Addie pivoted inward, then upward, she was abruptly yanked, by the collar of her scrubs, toward the hospital bed whizzing past; staring down the swollen, pus-filled throat of a screeching patient-

~

Addie yelped when a sharpened pole suddenly pierced the walker's temple - inches from her face.

She yelped again as she was then wrenched backward; reflexively tightening her grip round Lucas' trembling body.

Whipping her head around, she found Leo tearing the gore-riddled smock from her torso; surrendering it to the undead already gripping it. She felt a giant, calloused palm press between her shoulders, and panicked breath against her neck, as he resumed hurrying her forward; toward the truck slowly circling the parking lot.

The music still boomed, evenly dividing the ravenous crowd.

"Distraction, Donnie-"

"Yep!" The tallest, purple-masked one shouted in response; jerking the tip of his bloodied staff from another walker (simultaneously impaling another with the other end), before plucking what appeared to be an unlit Molotov cocktail from the largest pouch on his well-equipped utility belt.

"I've gotchu, bro!" The shortest, orange-masked one covered his comrade, beating walkers over the head with his steel nunchaku, as the latter ignited the wick; tossing it through the smashed window of the Toyota Yaris beside him.

The resulting blaze drew in a sizeable portion of their assailants, like moths to a flame; widening the laneway to their destination.

The truck was already roaring round the corner, when Leo lifted his fingers to whistle it over; brutally dispatching all walkers in its path. The cabin door was shoved open, as it jerked to a roll; revealing a fourth green being, frantically beckoning them inside.

He - the brawniest, red-masked one - hollered in a thick, Brooklyn accent: "MOVE YA FUCKIN' ASSES!!!"

The group readily obliged, practically throwing themselves inside.

"GO, APRIL-"

The vehicle immediately lurched forward, hurling those not quick enough to grab hold of something, to the floor.

Snatching one of the handgrips dangling from the ceiling, Leo caught Addie's waist, right before she and Lucas made impact; pinning her back against him as they finally sped away.

The last thing the blonde saw was a snarling, stumbling crowd, backed by a fiery inferno...

Then Red slammed the door closed, plunging them into darkness.

~

~

"No, take the left," Leo enjoined, gaze fixed on the approaching intersection as he guided a shell-shocked Adrie to an empty seat.

Even under multiple layers of clothing, he could feel just about every rib, every vertebrae... Her son, dressed in only a long-sleeved 'Finding Nemo' pyjama top and bottoms (no socks, nor shoes, nor jacket) looked like a living skeleton.

It broke his heart.

"We're steering clear of all freeways, from now on - it's too risky. We don't have the gas to double back, if there's another pile-up."

"We don't have the gas, period..." Donnie mumbled dejectedly; shifting in his seat, opposite the newcomers.

April nodded stiffly. "Got it."

Leo gripped the back of Adrie's seat as the truck swerved onto the adjacent road, toward Rothrock State Forest; passing several walkers beelining for the KinderCare bonfire, and clipping two.

"We'll swap, once we hit the treeline," Raph 'offered', earning a piqued look from the dark-haired woman.

"I'm quite capable of navigating the road, thank you, Raphie-"

"Please, don't call me that-"

"Well, then, quit patronising me," she bit out, as the red-masked terrapin thrust open the front passenger door on an incoming walker. "I'll decide when I need a break."

"Alright, alright - fine! ... S'cuse me for tryna look out for-"

"Raph," Leo snapped, glare piercing his brother's rancorous side-eye. "For once in your goddamn life - listen."

Those words carried more vitriol than he'd anticipated...

A tense silence fell over the cabin as the two dragged out their staring match, daring the other to break first.

April, watching through the rear-view mirror, scoffed softly; shaking her head. The youngest brothers shared her sentiment.

"Hey, what about the husband...?" Mikey - seated alongside Donnie - enquired carefully, attempting to shift the subject.

Leo promptly folded; anxious gaze falling on the blonde (limply cradling her whimpering child) before him, still seemingly staring into space.

"Are we just gonna leave him there-"

"We had to." The leader sent his youngest brother a doleful look.

Understanding immediately, Mikey and Donnie both lowered their gazes; April and Raph shared a look, before returning their attention to the vehicle-scattered road ahead.

Silence befell the group once more, as a cautious Leo finally lowered himself onto the edge of the last seat, beside Adrie.

Cocking his neck slightly, he watched, with increasing self-reproach, as the woman's steel blues welled with tears, and a despaired whimper forced its way past her trembling, chapped lips.

~

Minutes, hours... Addie wasn't sure how long they'd been driving, but eventually the truck choked then shuddered to a halt; in the middle of an open road.

The blonde's tentative gaze followed Leo, as he stood, glimpsing her bloodied machete, dangling from his belt; and the other woman's (April, was it?) striking grey orbs, once again.

She'd been stealing glances after every turn.

"There it goes, again..." Donnie - the other voice Addie recognised - muttered wryly; heaving a sigh as he, too, hauled himself to his large, combat boot-clad feet

He joined Leo, Raph(?), and April, in the cockpit; the orange-masked one remained in his seat, 'sneaking' concerned glances her way.

"We can't trust the gauge, anymore..." April sighed.

"Like I said: this stuff's over six months old," Donnie explained, shaking his head to an equally crestfallen Leo. "It's practically water, at this point."

"I don't think we'll be travellin' on wheels much longer... Hey," Raph abruptly reached over the centre console; resting a giant, three-fingered hand atop April's tiny shoulder. "Ape, you okay?"

"Yeah- yeah..." She murmured, nodding stiffly. "I'm okay..."

"We'll find somewhere," Leo reassured; sharing a curt nod with Raph, as he comfortingly petted the woman's seat. His contradicting stance (power pose, accompanied by a lowered gaze) betrayed his insecurity.

"I know-"

Addie's focus was disrupted when a sudden coldness struck her chest. A gasp escaped her as she snapped her head downward, finding Lucas clutching her now bare breast.

"Nee!"

The four whipped around, right as Addie, beet red from embarrassment, tugged her soiled tank top back up. The worse they may have seen was some cleavage...

The orange-masked one however had, apparently, seen everything.

"Everything alright?" Through matted hair, the blonde found Leo carefully approaching.

She maintained a vice-like grip on the fabric, as her grizzling son continued grabbing at it.

Leo watched her struggle a moment; metaphorical cogs in his brain turning, as the scaly ridges where his brows would've been steadily furrowed.

Without another word, he swivelled on his sandaled heel; beelining for the rear of the truck, outside her periphery.

She listened to the rustling and clanking of items that followed (avoiding the others' prying gazes, shifting between herself and him), till the sounds eventually ceased.

Leo crossed in front of her, re-settling into the seat alongside. "Here."

Addie's eyes damn near sparkled at the clear zip-lock baggies of dried meat and fruit now before her.

Chef Boyardee was nowhere near enough...

"Don't worry about us," Leo reassured, catching the blonde's gaze flickering outward. Tilting his head to redirect it, he levelled her a severe look. She could drown in those cerulean orbs, of his.

"There's more than enough to go around..." His expression softened considerably as he nodded to the baggies, holding them out further. "Please. You both look like you need it."

Relief enveloped Leo as Addie finally, tentatively obliged. But, curiously, she made no move to open them; not even when her son feebly whined and tugged at them.

Hugging the baggies firmly against her chest, the woman continued staring; eyes brimming with apprehension as she silently studied the... man, and his comrades, before her.

Leo abruptly realised:

"Forgive me," he maintained the gentle tone and lowered his gaze slightly; an effort to further encourage trust. "We've not officially met – my name’s Leo. That, there, is my brother Mikey-"

At the gesture in his direction, the orange-masked one - flushing a deep shamrock, still unable to look Addie in the eyes - smiled sheepishly.

"Donnie-"

The purple-masked one gave a polite nod, pushing his tape-riddled glasses to the bridge of his snout.

"I probably don't need to tell you we're also related, heh... uhh, so, our friend April-"

The dark-haired woman smiled warmly, giving a short wave.

"...and Raph-"

"Were ya bit?"

Leo sighed inwardly at that as Addie followed his brother's narrowed gaze, downward. Looking at her, bedaubed with dried blood and gore, like she'd bathed in it, the leader would be lying if he said he wasn't suspecting the same.

He wouldn't have been nearly as terse with his questioning, though.

"Just give her a minute," he held up a placating hand, glimpsing panic in the woman's eyes. Could they be correct in their suspicion, or was she simply afraid of being left behind? "Let her gain her bearings-"

"Why? It ain't like it's gonna change anythin', if she were. Might as well get it outta the road now, so we can..." Raph faltered a moment, as he warily glanced an incredulous-looking April's way; clearly debating whether to finish his sentence.

"...figure- behind-!"

The woman barely had a chance to register the warning, when a deafening THUMP behind her, jolted her out of her seat.

"SHIT-"

As she flew into the red-masked one's arms, a full, rounded belly suddenly entered into Addie's field of vision, ripping a startled gasp from her.

She's-!

"Dead fucker-!"

Practically dropping April into his seat, Raph proceeded snatching the pair of pronged weapons from his belt; thrusting open the cabin door with one swift, facile movement.

"Careful-!" Leo exclaimed over Lucas' strangled shriek, as a second surprise walker - EMS uniform dangling in bloodied tatters from its waifish body - lunged itself at his comrade, followed closely by another.

Raph wasted nary a moment kicking the nearest one to the gravel with his giant, two-toed foot, then impaling the second's skull through the chin. The furthest had already met the lethal end of Donnie's bō, by the time Raph's slumped to the ground.

The catalyst walker, allured by the commotion, came staggering round the truck. The two men (Reptiles? Turtles? Turtle-men? Turtle men) dispatched it together, dashing its now shattered body against the grille.

Inside, the women finally released their breaths, sharing a knowing glance as Addie proceeded consoling her child. She relented with the jerky.

"We can't stay here," Raph remarked; glowering at the blonde's very brief, hushed monologue to her son - clearly not in English (German?). He knew she spoke their language; she did so over the radio. So, why the hell wasn't she using it now? "We're sittin' ducks without a set'a walls 'round us."

"Agreed," Leo nodded, mentally noting his brother's veiled hostility.

"That building over there looks good," Donnie offered; pointing to the tall, cream-coloured double garage several hundred feet down the road. At least a dozen vehicles, engulfed by overgrown greenery, surrounded it. "Should fit the truck, with some change."

"Wait, wait-" Mikey's baby blues and gesture grew wide. "You wanna push this?? Wha... all the way over there??"

"What's the matter, baby bro?" Stepping a foot inside the cabin, Raph proceeded thumping the orange-masked brother's shoulder, knocking the wind out of him. "'Fraid ya weak ass is gonna embarrass yaself in front'a the ladies?"

"Unless you'd rather risk our necks hauling everything we need back and forth-" Donnie countered distractedly, elbowing Raph's bicep. Another walker, stumbling out the side gate of a nearby house, had snatched his attention.

Raph promptly called dibs.

~

Pushing the 20-odd ton vehicle to safety was a three-man job which Leo, Raph, and Donnie grudgingly endeavoured, while Mikey brought up the rear to protect the women and child. Thankfully (or concerningly), no additional walkers presented themselves.

Their new sanctuary: a double-storey automobile workshop – Glenny’s Garage. After a brief once-over of the outmoded but seemingly undamaged and secured exterior, Donnie and a reluctant Leo split off to sweep the interior; leaving the others waiting by the truck, for several agonising minutes.

Raph’s chartreuse peepers scrutinised Addie’s every move, attempting to will all her ‘secrets’ out into the open. Yes, he’d advocated hard for her rescue, very nearly exchanged fists with Leo over it, but that had shit all to do with trust or sympathy (save for the kid; he wasn’t that far gone, yet…) – only what she could do for April.

Anything for April…

“Hey, Raph?”

The turtle-man in question shifted his gaze, finally granting a visibly tense Addie respite. April – who’d been standing alongside, looking like something crawled up her ass and died – had summoned him.

“What’s up-”

"Could you be a dear and go fetch us some waters, please?" The brunette's tongue dripped with honey, but her eyes hissed, 'don't you dare argue'.

"Two, thanks- no, I asked you. I'm sure Mikey's more than capable of watching over us for the two seconds it'll take for you to go inside and come back..."

After a brief staring match, Raph finally relented, shooting the object of his ire one last pointed look before disappearing inside the cabin.

“Sorry about him… he can be a real di-” April’s abruptly anxious gaze landed on the boy in Addie’s arms, chowing down on what she presumed was his seventh piece of dried venison. The baggy was nearing empty and she’d yet to see his mother take a single one for herself. “Jerk, sometimes… Are you having any of that? … Adrie-?”

“Hm?” Addie finally looked up, cursing herself for losing track of the seconds Leo had been missing from her side. It was a strange feeling: attributing safety to who’s essentially a complete stranger. She wasn’t sure she liked it, but one thing was certain: his presence was a miles better feeling right now than his absence.

“I’ve eaten already. It’s okay.” April politely declined the offer of the last jerky piece, giving the blonde a knowing smile. “Leo’s right, y’know – you should eat something-”

Addie’s gaze abruptly darted beyond her. The behemoth had thudded back into view with, to the women’s surprise, two plastic bottles in hand.

April smiled mawkishly as she plucked both from him, pushing one toward Addie before hand-waving him away with a, “We’re talking – go hang out with your brother”. He harrumphed but eventually obliged.

Addie needn't voice anything; the frown she levelled at April as Raph stalked away was question enough.

"He's a friend," the brunette chuckled, unscrewing the bottle lid to take a sip. Addie followed suit with hers, allowing a moment to relish the clean, fresh taste - a rarity these past few months - before eventually handing it over to her eager son.

"A very protective friend..."

The words had already cycled through her ear canal by the time she realised: that was the first time she'd spoken more than one word to them in person.

Judging by the mild surprise on April's face, she'd realised that also.

"So-" Addie promptly turned her head to cough. Her throat itched and voice rasped. She was no longer accustomed to using the top of her lungs, so she presumed it'd done a number on her vocal cords... "Pardon... So, y-you're safe?"

April didn't appear distressed, but the fact that she was the only female surrounded by males compelled Addie to speculate...

"I've known these guys a long time," the brunette emphasized, unwittingly stroking the top of her swollen abdomen as she smiled down at Lucas.

Though she tried, Addie couldn't help staring; a myriad of questions inundating her already overwhelmed mind.

"Trust me, there's no safer place for you and your little one to be."

Addie's lips tightened as she nodded, stealing a glance toward the problem turtle-man already side-eyeing her; blatantly ignoring Mikey's attempts at engaging him in conversation.

The jury's still out on that one...

"I'm sorry about your husband, by the way..."

The image of a reanimated Matthew dangling from that door, clawing at their terrified son, flashed through her mind; then the sickening thwacks of her machete as she mercilessly cut him down...

They discussed what they'd do should one of them become infected, early on; an effort to desensitise themselves, perhaps?

Given she had no clue whose face she was mutilating at the time, it saved her the heartbreak... then their son uttered those fateful words...

"I lost my own husband in this, also - t-three, four... months ago...?" April's smile faltered slightly as she lowered her gaze, seemingly joining Addie in remembering something - something equally painful. "It never really leaves you, but it does get easier to live with; if that's any consolation, heh..."

"How far along are you...?"

Returning her gaze to Addie's, April gave a tremulous breath; staring silently for several moments, before finally answering, "T-thirty eight weeks, two days..."

Addie's stomach dropped. Schijt...

So, any day now, this child could decide they're tired of sloshing around in their private primordial pool, and attempt to join them in this hellish world.

Addie only hoped, for April's sake, their impending exit will be quick...

The abrupt rattling of a door handle drew the group's attention toward the garage. They watched the office exit door creak open as the purple-masked turtle-man stepped through it, followed almost immediately by the metallic sliding of the nearest roller door.

Addie's gaze then fell upon Leo's face, and her heart unexpectedly lifted.

"Ladies... c-child," Donnie nodded awkwardly toward the women as he gestured inside, prompting them forward.

"Turtles-" Leo shared a fleeting look with Addie as he sheathed his unsullied blade, before turning to address his brothers. "Limber up. We've a slight incline on the way inside."

"No pussyin' out this time, Mikey."

---

@android-cap-007 @happymoonangel @miss-andromeda @jasminarts01 @obsessedftshit

[pipinghawtcocoa]

hot take: the rise movie got leo's character arc completely wrong.

rewatching the movie from a critical lense (and tucking my fangirling persona away, neatly folded in a drawer somewhere), I feel as if the writers kind of failed Leo's arc, in a way.

i know the show got cancelled and if it hadn't they would have had more time to flesh leo out but hear me out

for the majority of the film, it was pushed on the audience for Leo's attitude about the whole Kraang situation to be explained by pride and carelessness. Leo was meant to be interpreted as some impulsive douchebag who didn't know how to take things seriously or listen to his family's advice (which, by the way, felt like a lesson that was a bit shoehorned in there but i'll get to that). Raph expresses his frustration about this at the beginning of the movie, telling Leo that it's "not all about him" (a phrase that is echoed throughout the movie, which i also kind of have beef with), and even Casey confronts him for being unwilling to listen to his family's advice in the subway scene (that confrontation wasn't well done imo but i'll get to it in a sec). However, upon closer inspection, I feel as if that's not the case.

I don't think Leo's problem was his pride, or his inability to listen; rather, those things that we've seen and associate with Leo aren't Leo.

let me explain.

I believe that charismatic, impulsive, laid-back Leo we see not only in the movie, but in the show, is a persona Leo has created for himself to compensate for his self-loathing. In "Portal Jacked", we see this mask crumble just a slight amount. Leo tells Hueso (after his brothers are sent somewhere after being portalled) that he's "nothing without them" and doesn't operate being "just a face man" alone. This implies Leo, while sharing some of those qualities listed earlier, exaggerates them in order to create a version of himself he likes. This would explain why in "Minotaur Maze" Leo is so adamant on proving to his brothers he's a "champion": to confirm that he is the persona he so desperately wants to be. Leo’s pride stems from self-loathing–a cover-up, if anything. To him, appearing to be put together gets rid of the possibility of people offering to help him, something Leo doesn’t feel like he deserves. Constantly, he’s in a battle of trying to convince himself that he truly is the persona he puts on.

However, Leo’s persona (that compensates for his self-hatred) inadvertently ends up pushing people away from him on account of what they interpret as real pride, confirming those biases Leo has about himself that he’s not enough, which devolves into hopelessness that he’ll never improve or make anyone proud of him. This would explain why throughout the movie, Leo is constantly berated for the way he acts, when in actuality, it's the way he copes. (it's a cry for help, if anything.)

it gets even worse when you think about how Leo becomes the leader in the bad future, meaning that persona he put on needed to be increased tenfold. His position as leader requires those under him to have faith and confidence in their leader’s abilities. This means that absolutely no weaknesses can show, causing him to likely internalize his feelings even more.

and yet, despite all of this, Leo is still the best equipped to be leader out of all his brothers.

think about it: Donnie constantly doubts himself with far too many "what-if" scenarios that fester doubt, which end up killing his ideas in the end, and Raph only ever makes his judgments and or plans based on the present moment and what he and sees or is used to, which doesn't leave much room for innovation in differing scenarios. And Mikey is, let's be honest, more of a follower than a leader; he responds better to instructions because it feels safe for him.

But Leo's the only one out of the three who is perceptive enough to analyze their enemy and manipulate them based on the situation as well as previous scenarios (as beautifully orchestrated in "Many Unhappy Returns"), but also encourage his team and get them to use their strengths to the best of their ability (seen in "Origami Tsunami"), and prevent them from rushing into things (basically "Bug Busters").

Leo's problem lies in his lack of confidence. If he truly had confidence in himself, he wouldn't have to pretend he did. The main issue in the movie arises when Leo, given this new leadership role with little experience or guidance, causes Leo to develop a linear worldview of letting himself only see his successes instead of failures, making his judgment snowball. We see this in the movie when, after Raph gets captured by the Kraang, Leo is set on finding him. Leo is determined to "ninja in, ninja out", which isn't exactly a "plan", but it mainly stems from that lack of confidence. If Leo lets himself think critically about the situation, he might recognize the chance he might fail, which would only amplify his guilt about the situation. He is being driven by his emotions to fix the issue. So in Leo's mind, it goes as follows: get in, save Raph, and then everything will be fixed (which is not how it works).

Casey yelling at Leo in a subway that his entire family dies in the future and he should stop being an asshole was not the right approach. Raph constantly berating Leo and Donnie dismissing each and every idea Leo presented as a plan wasn't good either. Instead, I think (and this is my opinion y'all), Leo's family should bounce off his ideas and improve them instead of shutting them down completely or overwhelming him with the possibility of failure (donnie and raph respectively).

Of course, I do feel like the writers overexaggerated Leo's persona in the movie to shoehorn in the whole "listen to your family" message, as he came across as a bit too much in the movie imo compared to the show. The writers could have used the film instead to address Leo's emotional response to being basically ignored by his family (classic middle child complex, i should know) and being thrusted into the leadership role far before he was ready.

In a way, I suppose Leo could also is representative of the way Rise itself was treated: ignored by the network and cancelled before it could have a chance to redeem itself and tell its story, leaving the vast majority of the TMNT fandom's impression of the show as slander to the franchise itself.

anyways the blue one is just like me fr :3c

[ass-sassafras]

Tw: talk of suicide attempts and suicidal ideation.

I'm in a weird place right now. I bit the bullet and told him I don't want a relationship with him or anyone. He was sad and said I'm his best friend. It was amicable but both of us were sad. Then he went against his word and just "wanted a couple of beers." Well, Tumblr we all know what happened then. He finished off his six pack very fast then started on the wine he bought for me that I didn't ask for. We then proceeded to have a night of him screaming at me, calling me names and being as nasty and immature as possible.

The next day I said if he brings any alcohol into the house, I won't be giving him a few weeks to get his shit together and move out, he'll be moving out immediately with no money and a non-working car.

I had a cup of coffee and then went to look for yard sales so I can buy myself a bike. While I was out he sent me a text saying he feels like such a fool, and he's sorry for everything, everything. He said I deserve so much better.

In the end, he seems to understand that although I don't hate him, I'll never trust anyone again. He was my last attempt after my divorce to see if I could have a healthy relationship. I can't. It's not just the aromantic asexual part of me. There are deep psychological issues that are part of who I am. I need as much control over my life as possible, I need peace and I need to know what to expect.

I'm really going to miss him, but I'll only be missing the person he is 10% of the time, maybe 20% on a good day. But even if he checked all the boxes (responsible, stable, good for my kids, funny, nice to me and willing to compromise, no temper) I would still want to be alone. He started to cry at one point and asked if I can hug him. I did and we just sat on the couch and cried together.

We've been really honest with each other now that we know it's over. I admitted that I have been researching the least painful, most effective ways to kill yourself and this led to an odd but very honest conversation about suicide and how much the world sucks. He's had 2 serious suicide attempts that put him in the hospital before we met. I've never tried but the thought has been my shadow for most of my adult life.

He's the only person with whom I can have a frank discussion and be 100% honest. He doesn't want me to kill myself, but he knows what it's like to look toward the future with such deep feelings of hopelessness. I hate guns and I've never touched one, but I told him about how I went in to the local gun shop (Indiana USA so they're like cockroaches) and asked about prices and background checks. He was surprised and told me he didn't know it was getting that bad. I told him I know that when I talk about it, it just makes me feel worse and worries the other person.

I'm afraid that if I talk to my family about it, they'll either use God as motivation because they think I still believe, or they'll freak out and try to get me into a psych ward which I'm sure won't help and I'll be charged thousands of dollars that I don't have. But at least they'll feel like they did their job because suicidal thoughts make people uncomfortable. They just want them to go away as soon as possible.

This was supposed to be an update post in case anyone on here has read the shit I've posted about my so. Devolved into other stuff.

So in summary I will soon get to know what it's like to be single as an ace. We'll see how this goes.

[dipperdesperado]

Forspoken and False Progress Under Neoliberalism

Sorry for interrupting the regularly scheduled programming. Time to rant. Warning: this will be unstructured and contain a lotta conjecture. Hope you're not coming to this expecting some cracked academic theory or dialectical analysis; not gonna get it here.

So today, one of my most anticipated games, Forspoken came out.

I mean, look at this, looks cool, right? I was excited as hell since not only did the gameplay look insane, but it's literally a black-woman isekai storyline. I mean, if that doesn't sound awesome, I think you might need your ears checked. So, I was locked in from day one.

Then, I came down to earth and started to get worried. There was nary a black woman in sight for the actual development of the game. A japanese team, a Wonder Bread set of writers, and some very concerning statements in interviews. Stuff started to look a tiny bit bleak, but I mean, the game still looked how it always did, so I was like... you know what, I'll keep my head up.

Then, we get to The Discourse™. As someone who's been playing games my whole life and loves them dearly, I freaking hate "capital G" Gamers. Like, from gamergate to just general twitter behavior, the overlap between loud gamers and weird takes is insane. Once Forspoken got some more coverage, and we see the story a little more clearly, things just started to devolve. Like, the stuff that's going on today, the reason I'm writing this, is a perfect example of it. If you look on Twitter today, a lot of the stuff relating to the game will be the fact that the dialogue is "cringe" and "marvel-like". I like, don't necessarily disagree, but it seems kinda suspicious when just like a month ago, everyone was fawning over that High on Life game, which feeds heavily into an even more, painfully cringe comedic writing style.

Is it that it's cringe, or is it that people are more critical of this game because of its representation? If that seems like a stretch, don't worry. The game has been called woke too. Even if people don't say the quiet part out loud, implicit bias is still bias, ya dig?

It's so hard to talk about this specific game. Like, it seems like a woefully uneven game, that would be a really interesting subject for measured discourse since it does some really unique things with the movement, combat, and background of the MC, but also falls into pitfalls with how those pieces come together.

I think the thing that bothers me the most about this is the fact that there is some high-ass standard that this game seems to need to be achieving in the eyes of its fans that other games and media just don't. When people are overly critical of things that spotlight marginalized people, it can be hard to not want to torch their critiques. Like, everything gets muddied due to the fact that there's no consistency with what the supposed issues with the object are, and how those same issues go unnoticed in other objects. Again, people did not do this in masse with Deadpool, devil may cry, or any other thing that has this kind of dialogue.

I want to make it clear, if you dislike this stuff wholesale, then great. You're not who this is about.

Now, onto why I think this happens. One of the biggest issues we have with any conversation relating to social injustice is the conversation around responsibility and equity. Whether it's reparations, paying more taxes, DEI training, asking for accommodations, or the n-word, all of these issues revolve around equity and who's responsible. In our prevailing social arrangement (see the tin), people think that we've reached the peak. As in, racism has been solved, people are tolerant of others, etc etc. I think "I don't see color" perfectly encapsulates the issue with the discourse around identity. People think we live in a post-racial society, even though none of the work has been done to interrogate the root of the society such that the incentives for hierarchy and domination become fully untenable. Since everyone (for the most part, and in theory) have the same rights "on paper", why would we need to specifically spotlight voices that were marginalized "in the past"?

What then happens is that since we live in a time that is perceived to be better wholesale than other eras of destitution, it feels like an affront to freedom to try to disrupt "equal opportunity" by asking for "special treatment".

This is goofy. Like, the vapid nature of capital leads to a veneer of progress while under the surface, shit is the same as it was before. You can't get a haircut and become a new person. You just might feel brand new.

I think that in a funny way, this splits in both directions with Forspoken.

On one hand, the conversations around the game, implicitly or explicitly, highlight this faux-post-racial society, where everyone has the same opportunities in theory, but in practice, your results may vary. We'll let you have a game with a black woman as the lead, but we won't involve black women in the creation in a way that is meaningful and liberatory, since "it should be applauded that you're on the tin". But, since we have all of these racist biases and misogynoiristic machinations against black women, as gamers, we're going to look at it with a fine-tooth comb and draw out issues that interestingly enough apply to other games and shit we like but it wasn't an issue then for some reason. Hm. Strange.

As far as the devs go, I mean... a lot of the character stuff is what you get when the people represented aren't involved in the creation of the work in any meaningful way. I'm not going to get into the MC's background and stuff, but that shit is actually cringe and makes the "hip-hoppity walk" quote hit home forreal.

The point is, neoliberalism sucks and will probably be the death of civilization as we know it. Until we're able to truly create meaningful change instead of performative acknowledgment (I'm looking at you, thoughts and prayers), we're going to continue to get people that are less and less informed about the world, the closer they are to privilege.

I apologize if this is poorly structured or incoherent. I was just writing as I go because I was upset. Usually, I wouldn't write from this emotional state, nor would I let Twitter nonsense get to me, but I just wanted to lean into my emotions for once and vomit something out. Anyways, if you got anything out of this, great. If not, I'm sorry. I'll get you a cookie or snack or something.

[lighthousenewsnetwork]

In a surprising twist that has shocked pundits and pollsters alike, Americans across the nation are reportedly "giddy with anticipation" for the upcoming election season. Citizens from all walks of life are clearing their schedules, stocking up on popcorn, and preparing their best political zingers for what promises to be the most divisive and acrimonious electoral cycle in recent memory. "I can't wait for the attack ads to start rolling in," exclaimed Sarah Johnson, a 34-year-old accountant from Ohio. "They're like mini-action movies, but with politicians! Who needs Netflix when you can watch Senator Smith accuse Representative Jones of wanting to steal Christmas and kick puppies?" Political analysts are hailing this unexpected enthusiasm as a breakthrough in civic engagement. Dr. Harold Bickering, a professor of Political Science at Partisan University, explained, "For years, we've been trying to get people interested in the political process. Who knew all it would take was the promise of relentless character assassination and family-destroying arguments?" The upcoming election season is expected to be a boon for the economy, with several industries reporting record pre-orders. Noise-canceling headphone manufacturers are struggling to keep up with demand, as citizens prepare to block out the opinions of their loved ones. Meanwhile, the market for political merchandise has exploded, with everything from MAGA-branded toilet paper to "Feel the Bern" fire extinguishers flying off the shelves. Social media giants are also getting in on the action. Facebook has announced a new "Unfriend Tracker" feature, allowing users to keep a running tally of relationships destroyed over political disagreements. Not to be outdone, Twitter has unveiled its new slogan: "280 characters of pure political venom." Family gatherings, once dreaded for their potential to devolve into shouting matches, are now being embraced as competitive events. Thanksgiving dinner has been unofficially upgraded to an "Olympic-level event," with families across the country training rigorously to out-argue their relatives. "I've been practicing my eye-rolls and preparing a spreadsheet of my cousin's past indiscretions," said Tom Baker, a 28-year-old graphic designer. "This year, I'm going for the gold in the passive-aggressive comment relay." The entertainment industry has taken notice of this shift in family dynamics. A new reality TV show, "Family Feud: Election Edition," is set to premiere next fall. The show will feature families torn apart by political disagreements competing to see who can make the other side cry first. Early focus groups have described the show as "delightfully horrifying" and "like watching a train wreck, if the train was filled with your entire extended family." However, as the election draws nearer, a shocking twist has emerged. It turns out that average citizens are actually dreading the upcoming electoral bloodbath. The only people truly excited for the impending chaos are politicians, media executives, and the manufacturers of antacids and blood pressure medications. "Nothing sells like outrage and division!" exclaimed Chuck Ratinggrabber, CEO of a major news network, while gleefully rubbing his hands together. "We've got wall-to-wall coverage planned for every gaffe, scandal, and angry tweet. Democracy may be dying, but our ad revenue has never been healthier!" As the nation braces for impact, citizens are encouraged to embrace the madness. Political scientists recommend stocking up on family argument bingo cards and preparing a bunker of neutral topics for emergency de-escalation. Remember, folks: in these trying times, it's important to stay informed, stay engaged, and above all, stay angry. And don't forget to vote, because nothing says "democracy" like choosing between two candidates you've grown to despise equally. May the least objectionable candidate win! #AttackAds #ElectionSeason #FamilyConflict #Politicalhumor #Satire

[nefskullcritique]

I did a deep dive into this blog and like.. I keep thinking occasionally "maybe someone could talk bones out of this shit and into finding help" but. man. some of this goes past like, stupid 14/16 year old HS drama and just devolves into fucking horrendous stuff. The situation makes me feel a certain way (negative) when I ponder on it, and it has the same vibe of how people describe horrible things as being a car wreck you can't look away from. I think I got back to 2019ish in the archive before deciding I've seen enough to make a judge of bones' character; they're very much stuck in the past and can't move on emotionally; I'd personally say at this point they do not WANT to move on because this attitude gets them attention and that is what they want, not dissimilar to a fussy child crying crocodile tears because they don't get what they want. But that's just me and my armchair psych self dissecting a very strange individual who has had around 6 or 7ish years to grow up and has refused to.

we've TRIED to get them to seek help themself but they refuse to. they are never going to change and they do not see what's wrong with their behavior.

[paradoxesofgalaxies]

I don't know what's going on but maybe writing will help...

We're just so on edge all the time. Ready to jump out of my skin at any moment. Struggling to sit still, stay in one place, but with no direction on what to do.

And underneath it all a deep sorrow, a crying child. I want to help. I want to run away. How can I even help? I don't know how to reach them. I don't know how to help them.

So I run away by always having something else to focus on. But the running isn't working anymore. Even amidst the distraction, i can't escape the aching sorrow in my chest.

I know I shouldn't run. I need to stop trying to escape. But I don't know how. I'm so scared that if I stop, I'll be buried beneath it all. I'm the product of us breaking. They dug too deep, asked too many questions, and broke under the weight, shattering apart. I'm here to keep us going. I'm here to be the day to day so we can function. I came out of the mess we had devolved into. Unable to function on even the most basic level. And we've come so far. The people around me now rely on me for things again. I maintain our home. I have friends and laughter and things i look forward to.

I don't want to break like ones before me. I'm scared that learning more will break me. The outline of what i don't know is becoming more clear. It's getting harder to ignore the picture being revealed. And i don't know if I can handle seeing the hidden parts.

I'm scared.

But how can I abandon the crying child? How can I continue to turn away from this hurt child who's trying to share with me?

I don't know what to do...