#i want to burn but roomie won’t leave | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jungwonie-bae · 1 year ago

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Need a new roommate? ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

Heeseung x fem!reader reader is called she

genre- fluff, strangers to lovers

word count- 5.3k 【5,382 words】

warnings- a little suggestive, throwing up, drunk heeseung, swear words, grammar errors, not really proof read

summary— you’re really broke and is in need of a new roommate. But then a unexpected stunning face shows up at your door, because he had seen your fliers.-☆

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

you’re broke. And you can’t even pay your own rent for your own apartment anymore. Damn, you need a roommate to split the price.

well, you have a little money to print some fliers. Good start. You’re stressed. What if nobody is interested in living with you? You might as well live back in your parents home. That’s another option.

you stretch, then rub the tiredness out of your eyes. Your work place does not pay high enough though you work your ass off 13 hours a day. Should you quit? Nah, no one, and no place else would’ve hired you anyway.

you yawn while putting on your shoes and your coat. You grab your keys, your bag, then lock the door behind you. The chilly crisp air meets your face and you slightly smile. Perfect weather. Now you go get printing.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

You grab some duct tape you found in a random drawer, and rush out with your newly printed papers that all say “ looking for a new roommate. Call XXX-XXX-XXXX (your number) for the address.”

You rip the duct tape between your teeth to cut it as you stick the papers on street lamps and poles. You try to make them as noticeable as possible, so you can get a new roommate quickly. You are not really trusting yourself with this, since you kicked your last roommate out because they brought too many of their guests over to fuck. Damn your ears.

you guess you would give it another try, but this time you really needed it.

4 days later, you get a call late at night.

“hello?” You ask.

“hi, is this the right number for a roommate? I saw the fliers.” A slightly deep voice says. You were surprised to say the least, since your last roommate was a woman. Would it be weird living with the opposite gender?

snapping out of your thoughts, you answer, “yes this is the right number. I’m y/n by the way. Thanks for calling. I would like to know about your sanity first?”

“Oh my room is pretty clean in my parents home. I was taught to always clean after myself. And I’m pretty obedient. So that makes things easier. I can also cook if you want. Don’t worry, I won’t burn your apartment down. I promise.” He yawned.

you nodded your head at his answer. He’s clean, obedient, and he can cook? Wow, you sure are lucky.

“sure. I’ll text you the address after the call. Thank you for calling once again.” You politely say. You sigh. A message pops up on your screen from an unknown number, and you open it curiously. Oh, it’s the guy from before.

(unknown number)- call me heeseung

(unknown number)- also can I move in next week?

you- oh of course! Let me tidy up the house a bit then. Uhh I’ll check my schedule when I’m free and we can talk.

you then opened his contact and changed his name to “new roomie heeseung.” You think nothing of it. You never even thought of his looks, or friendliness. Only his cleanliness.

new roomie heeseung- okay thank you so much 😄

you leave him on read, and put your phone down. Okay, time to get cleaning.

.༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶.

3 days passed, and it’s the end of the week. Heeseung comes tomorrow. You’re nervous. Very nervous.

you’re very proud of yourself when you look around your apartment. It was sparking clean, almost blinding you. You smile to yourself, and go clean the bed sheets and comforter of the guest room for heeseung.

your phone buzzes from your back jeans pocket while your holding the bunch of the guest room’s sheets. The comforter is drying outside, and you’ve already dusted every centimeter of that room. (yours too.)

you’ve cleaned up your room and bought a few decors for the kitchen too. You want to make a good impression on your new roommate. What if he would move out because of you?

Nah you’re too nice for that. You’ve got looks too. You’ve caught the eyes of people several times in college and high school, and your face hasn’t changed much.

You didn’t sleep that much that night. Work was really stressful the day you cleaned. Cleaning can take your mind off of things sometimes. Today was finally your day off, to meet heeseung. You two were still talking over text daily, but made it a surprise to show each other your faces. He was surprisingly fun to talk to too.

The following morning you were still wide awake, with somehow no eye bags at all, and swept the whole apartment. You vacuumed as a double check too. you check your phone.

new roomie heeseung- I’m almost there!

you: don’t worry, take your time

You sat of your couch waiting and waiting patiently. The clock strikes 2:30 pm. A few minutes later, knocking is heard.

You stand up immeadiately and checking yourself. You run to the bathroom, check your makeup, (You wore light makeup) and fix your outfit a bit. You rush to the front door and open it.

Woah. a tall handsome man stands in front of you. He’s absolutely stunning. Time seems to slow down once you opened the door. Best decision you’ve ever made. Damn you better close that mouth of yours before you start drooling and embarrass yourself.

“it’s heeseung,” he smiles confidently at you, while holding all his luggage. Damn he is so handsome. It makes you want to see him smile forever. Fuck, your delusional ass needs to be stopped before your mind drifts somewhere else.

“hi,” you bow, “I’m y/n the owner of the apartment. Come inside and put your luggage in.” You motion him toward the living room.

“the guest room- no your room, is on the left side of the hallway and next the the bathroom.” You inform, and point towards where you were saying. He listens carefully. When you look over at him, he’s already looking at you. He smiles, and takes off his shoes.

“you can go ahead and unpack. Make yourself at home. Do you want a drink?” You ask.

“water is fine with me,” he shrugs. As he walks away you smile to yourself. How did I get so lucky? You think. You snap out of your thoughts, and go to the kitchen to get him some water.

as you reach for a clean cup, heeseung comes out. He watches you intently, not making a sound. He smirks to himself.

“damn why is it so high,” you grumble. You then feel someone’s presence behind you, and a hand reaches for the exact cup. “need help?” The male says behind you. You’re flustered. “You know, I could’ve done it myself.”

“seems like you needed help though,” he smirks. “I’ll get the water by myself by the way.”

you nod you head, pointing to the water boiler where the water had been boiled a few hours prior to his arrival. You walk to your room embarrassed.

tsk, this is so cliche. You thought. No way your going to get close with that guy. He’s a bit flirty, from what you’ve noticed. Maybe he’s had multiple girls drool over him before, including you.

you don’t know anything about the guy in your house, he could be a murderer. You sit on your bed and wonder, going into your own world. Soon, you fall asleep, with your door slightly opened. Also with someone watching you fondly from the creak in the door.

.༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶.

heeseung was still living in his parents house after college. He had a job, a well paying one, but he didn’t seem to like the idea of living on his own. Not that he wasn’t mature enough, he just didn’t want to.

His mom scolded him that he was old enough to move himself out, and started comparing him to his cousins, once again. This happens every time. He groans to himself.

“OKAY! I GET IT! I’LL TRY TO FIND A NEW PLACE BY NEXT WEEK. HAPPY?” Heeseung shouts from his room. He can already see his mom smiling in his head. A silence passes, and heeseung flops onto his bed. He knows that it will be hard to find a new place to call home.

as heeseung walks out from the cafe to take a stroll, he spots something. More like a flying paper. It lands on the ground right in front of him, like it was destiny.

“looking for a new roommate.” He reads aloud. He smiles to himself in victory. Just what he needed. He picks up the paper to dial the number printed. I hope nobody else has taken this opportunity, he thinks to himself. He calls your number, and you pick up a few seconds later. You agreed almost immediately, and the address was thankfully not far from his parents home.

he couldn’t stop smiling on his way back home to tell his mother.

— a few days later—

His mom is excited. She helps him pack everything, and clean up his room. After that is all finished, he tells you he will be coming soon with all packed luggage.

“my baby is all grown up now,” his mom smiles. She pinches his cheeks lovingly, while heeseung is trying to swat away her hands.

“thank you, but I’ll be going now,” heeseung grumbles. “Love you mom” he kisses her cheeks goodbye. His dad hugs her.

“be safe son! You’re an adult now!” His dad shouts behind him.

heeseung smiles as he gets into his truck. “Goodbye! I’ll make sure to visit from time to time!” He drove off, humming a happy tune.

when he had arrived, he parked his truck outside. He looks at his watch, 2:34, not too late. He grabs his heavy luggage and repeats the address number in his head multiple times. Once he reaches your floor, he’s huffing and puffing. He’s nervous, since the two of you decided to keep your faces a surprise. He nervously rings your doorbell, and when you open the door- he’s completely out of breath this time.

you’re absolutely adorable in his eyes. When you smile up at him, it makes him almost immediately smile back. He decides to put a confident smile on and introduces himself.

“ it’s heeseung.” He says. You introduce yourself very politely, and motion him towards his own room- not before inviting him in with a drink. He smiles. Finally. He takes off his shoes, and carries his luggage to the room you had pointed to.

He heard clanking of glasses in the kitchen, and curiosity filled him. He goes to where the sound came from, and sees you trying to reach for a cup. Cute, he mumbles under his breath.

he doesn’t know where this boldness comes from but then- he automatically helps you, making you flustered. He sees the light blush on your cheeks. He’s used to doing things on his own, which was what his parents taught him to do. He fills his cup, and sips the liquid inside.

he watches as you rush to your room, and he smirks a bit to himself.

a few minutes later, as he’s walking back to his room, he sees that your door is opened a little bit. He was going to ask about the wifi, but found that you were sound asleep. How much cuter could you get? He smiles fondly to himself admiring your silent sleeping figure.

.༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶.

when you wake up, you are parched. So of course, you go into the kitchen to fill your cute duck mug. As soon as you walk out of your room, you see heeseung only in a towel, leaning against his bedroom door frame. His hair is slightly damp, and messy falling in front of his eyes. How the hell can a man be so sexy?

You freeze. Heeseung doesn’t notice you, gladly, because his phone is distracting him. He sure took the message, “make yourself at home.” You blink a few times before walking the other direction to the kitchen. You check the time first- 6:00 pm?!?

You sure slept for a long time. You don’t realize that you’ve been staring at your phone screen that has turned off already, because you had spaced out.

Now heeseung finally notices you and smiles. He sees that you’ve spaced out and your duck mug and phone are in both your hands. He gushed to himself at how cute you look. He puts a hoodie on and sweats before approaching you. He walks over to you and asks, “how was your sleep y/n?”

you jump a little, snapping out of your thoughts. You turn around, and smile back at him.

“it was alright, but that was much needed rest. Work has been tiring lately, that’s all.” You say casually, though he didn’t ask. He stares at you while you talk. He listens carefully to everything you say.

The conversation flows smoothly, and goes on and on. The two of you are the about the same age, him being a few months older. What a coincidence. You both learn about each other and your habits. You tell him about how you two will split the bills, and he agreed knowing it would be fair enough. Giggles and laughs fill the air. Maybe you do want to get close with him.

you both order takeout for dinner, and become more comfortable with each other as time passes by.

A few hours later, [10:34 pm] you both say goodnight to each other. You wave, and go to your respective rooms. You flip down on your bed and crawl into your comforter.

You sigh. Why can’t you sleep? Were you in..love? No stupid! It was because you took a nap in the afternoon! You thoughts cloud away as you finally drift off.

meanwhile, in the other room across from you, heeseung can’t sleep because of the opposite reason.

.༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶.

the next morning, you wake up tired, but determined. You get ready, but today you put on a little extra makeup. You want to work harder and overtime today so you can get extra pay. You put on a cute outfit, a shirt with a collar, and add a cute clip in your hair.

You had forgotten about heeseung, so when you went to the kitchen, you were surprised. “Good morning,” Heeseung says. His morning voice is a bit deeper.

“morning.” You respond. You walk quickly past him, to get your mug to get water.

“where are you going?” A voice says behind you.

“to work. Don’t you have a job to go to too?”

“yeah, but it’s later in the afternoon.”

You nod. an awkward silence fils the air as you make your toast and run to the front door, to put your shoes on. As you grab your keys, a voice stops you. “wait,” Heeseung says. “When do you come home from work?”

“9 pm today. I’m working overtime. Usually I come home at 7 pm. why do you ask?”

“uh so we can get to know each other more? Also, I’ll be coming home before you.” He rubs the back of his head. You wonder if there was another reason behind that. You smile.

You check your watch. “okay, I’ll tell you my schedule once I get home. I’ll be going now!” You grab your keys and head out.

he picks his hand up to wave, but the door shut closed before him. “bye.. have a nice day at work…” his lips form a thin line, and he turns around to get ready to go to his own work place.

.༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” Your coworker, and best friend, Chaeyoung grumbles. You were so caught up into your own world, that you forgot about the people around you. Oops.

you smile at her excitedly and spill everything. How your roommate was so hot, and how he was really sweet about everything. His reactions are on timing, and his laugh is angelic. You could go on and on about him, but just then your boss walks in front of you two.

“get back to work!” He barks. “yes sir.” You mumble, head hanging low.

.༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶. when you come home from work, the apartment is silent. You put down your things, and run to your room. You flip down on your bed exhausted, but your stomach growls so loud that the earth also rumbles.

you groan, not wanting to get up. You see a figure by your bedroom frame. “Are you okay?” Heeseung asks. He walks over to you.

do I look okay? “Yeah I’m fine,” you mumble. “Just a little hungry.”

“I’ll make something for you, don’t worry.” He says.

“wait.” You grab his wrist to stop him. That catches his attention immediately. “You don’t have to.”

“but I insist.”

you sigh, letting go of him. “okay then.”

—

as you play on your phone, heeseung calls you out. You crawl out of your bed, and walk to the kitchen. A bowl of fried rice sits on the table with chopsticks and a spoon at the side. Heeseung’s smile is contagious. “This is for me?” You ask, pointing your index finger to your chest.

“go ahead and dig in.” He gestures towards the bowl. “Thank you for the meal.” You say genuinely. When the rice hits your taste buds, your eyes widen. You look over at heeseung, who was already looking at you for your reaction, and you put up a thumbs up. You giggle to yourself. He cooked this for me! Does that mean he cares for me? You think. You see heeseung smile at the side of your eye, probably proud of himself. “Do you want some?” You ask. He’s taken aback. Then hesitates. He slowly nods. “Sure.”

you grab your spoon and get a spoon full. You try to give the spoon to him, but the moment you turn, he opens his mouth. He wants to you to feed him. He looks at you expectantly with his cute blinking bambi eyes and his mouth open, waiting to be fed. The proximity catches you off guard and you blush. You put the spoon into his mouth, and he chews.

“oh wow. I’m a good cook.” He compliments to himself. He smirks up at you, know the effect he has. He walks away like nothing happened after that.

.༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶.

he’s giving you mixed signals. It’s been a few months of living with him, and you’ve fallen deep. One day, he’s being affectionate, and the other day he’s neutral. You’ve gotten comfortable with each other, making jokes about anything, and doing Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who does the dishes.

but today, he went out to to go to hang out with his friends. Today for you, was just another tiring day of work. You take a very refreshing shower, and do a face mask. It was a day to yourself. You wear your cute shiro pajamas, and matching fuzzy socks.

you grab a few chip bags and drinks, and get cozied up in your cocoon of blankets. You grab your laptop, and watch your Netflix show. You feel so relaxed. A few hours and a few episodes later, you feel tired. Why hasn’t heeseung came home yet? You yawn.

just then, your phone rings. You pick up immediately, seeing the caller is was your roommate.

“hello? Is this heeseung’s roommate?” A male voice asks.

“Yeah. What’s going on? Also who are you?” You ask.

“I’m Jake, heeseung’s best friend. Heeseung is reallly drunk right now, and I need you to take him home.”

really? You taking heeseung home? But your so comfortable right now! You groan in frustration.

“okay just send me the location and I’ll be there.” You say and then hang up. You get out of your comfy bed, and get changed into a hoodie. You don’t want to change your pants, so you leave it be.

you check your phone and see that heeseung is at a bar. You pick up your keys and drive to the location. Once you arrive, you text that you’re here. You lean back on your car so that they could see you. Jake said he would check heeseung’s phone for him. A few minutes later, you see a blonde carrying a drunk heeseung on his back. You giggle at the sight.

Jake comes up to you, (because you told him that you were the one leaning on a car wearing a black hoodie) and tells you to open the car door.

He drops heeseung onto the passenger seat, and says goodnight to you. You wave back and turn your head to see a very drunk heeseung. He can barely open his eyes.

“hee, how much did you even drink?”

he holds up his hand to say he drank a “little bit”. (Like 🤏) you giggle at the sight, thinking he was lying. “Let’s go home.” You sigh.

you close the door, and put his seat belt on for him. You do the same for yourself, and then step in the pedal.

once you park into the parking lot, you unbuckle and go out to take heeseung out of your car. When you try to pull him out of the car, he whines. “I don’t want to get out,” and “I’m too tired to move.”

you groan in annoyance. You then pick him up, his arm around your shoulders, and your arm around his waist. You had to carry him all the way up to the 5th floor… and he was kind of heavy. I’ll get through it.. you think.

—

“I think I’m gonna puke.” He groans. “ my arm is also numbing.”

“We’re almost there, just- hold on a bit longer.” You say. You pant, and stop for a while. Just one more stair case. Why did the elevator have to be broken at this time?!?

heeseung gags, and immediately covers his mouth. You walk slowly up, so he doesn’t throw up easier.

once you make it, you let heeseung sit on the ground, so you can unlock the door. You drag him inside, and take him to the bathroom. “There, you can throw up now.” You pat his back, and stand up to get him a glass of water.

after heeseung is done, he wipes his mouth with the tissue you gave him, and you hand him his water.

“Feeling better?” You ask. He nodded, and gulp down the whole cup. “Let’s go get you some rest.” You stand up, and pull him with you. You go walk to his room, and lay him down. He lays there and talks quietly with you.

“hey I gotta tell you something.” Your ears perk up at that. You notice that he isn’t at all tired anymore. “Hmm?” You answer. You’re sitting on a chair you dragged from his desk to next to his bed.

“wait- nevermind.” He mumbles. Your a bit disappointed, and was kind of hoping he was going to say some good news.

“okay then I’ll go get you some more water, and I’ll go to sleep.” You sigh, yawning and stretching. When you stand up, a hand grabs your wrist. Heeseung is avoiding eye contact with you, but you think he’s still drunk. “Can you maybe sleep with me?” He mumbles, barely a whisper. You almost didn’t catch that. Your eyes widen, and you stutter, “ uh- I- uhm-” “it’s okay you don’t have to.” He let’s go of your wrist.

you sleeping with him? You’d take the opportunity if you could. So you hesitantly walk over to the other side of the bed, and tuck yourself in. There’s a awkward tension into the air, but heeseung speaks up first. “Would it be weird if we could cuddle?” You shake your head. The sheets shuffle, and a hand goes over your waist. Your not facing him, thankfully, or else he would’ve seen your tomato face. His other hand taps your back to lift a little, so he could hug you from behind.

you get the message almost immediately, and lift up a little. His arm slips through and he shifts so close to you that your back touches his chest. No words are exchanged between you two. His hand rubs circles on your stomach, and unconsciously slips under your shirt not in a sexual way. His head is tucked into your neck, your hair ticking his face. You knew he wouldn’t remember any of this. You sigh, hand going over his own.

you fall asleep, with thoughts clouding your mind. Little do you know, he was actually sober. He didn’t lie about drinking a little bit. He smiles to himself, and falls asleep a few minutes after you.

.༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶.

You wake up before him. When you try to get out of bed to make his hangover soup, his arms around you hold you tighter. He pulls you flush against his chest. His head is a mess, and his eyes are a bit puffy. How can he be so adorable?? You gush at him, and pry his arms away. He doesn’t move. You groan to yourself. Not going to lie, you actually love this position. You could get used to this. But, you two were only roommates. Just roommate things, right?

“Heeseungggg” you whine, trying to get out of his grip, though you don’t want to. “I’m going to be late for work.” He opens one eye and smiles. Your now facing him, trying to wake him up. He closes his eyes again, teasing you.

“I don’t care. Stay with me.” He mumbles. You groan and slap his face lightly and playfully. “ow.” He hold your hand on his face, making your hand cradle his face. You blush at the contact.

“I have to get up and make you your hangover soup.” You mumble.

“I don’t have a headache because I woke up next to you.” He winks. You glare at him playfully. You finally get up, and heeseung lets you, to go get ready. You stretch, and walk out of his room. “She’s so cute,” he mumbles. He hides his face into his pillow.

you get ready, and then go to the kitchen to make hangover soup and your breakfast. A few minutes later you see a sleepy heeseung walk out of his room. As if he was still drunk, he walks over to you and wraps his arms around your waist. His head tucks into your neck, chin resting on your shoulder, so he was basically back hugging you. “I’m tired.” He mumbles. You don’t respond, because your words are caught in your throat. You hum back instead, and keep mixing the soup to distract yourself. Just on time, your toast pops out. You walk over to spread your spread of choice on the toast, while heeseung’s hand is still on your waist.

“go ahead and scoop the soup into a bowl. It’s ready. I’ll be going now- and be careful. The soup is still hot.” You turn off the fire and smile at him. “ bye! I’ll text you when I’m coming back home.”

heeseung waves, “bye.” He winks at you. You blush as you head out. He smirks to himself, and turns around to grab a bowl.

For you, your heart is thumping so loud. Waking up next to heeseung, and back hugging you while making breakfast? He is driving you crazy.

.༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶.

At around the time your about to leave work, heeseung texts you.

heedeungie- meet me at the park after your work is done

you- okay

you- I think I might have leave early anyway today

you then put down your phone, and tell your coworkers that you’re leaving early for the day. You go into your car, and drive to the location heeseung sent you.

once you arrive, you text heeseung that your already there. He calls you, so of course you pick up. He tells you to meet at the Apple tree.

you walk over there, and see heeseung sitting down on a picnic mat. He had a buttoned up collar, the first three unbuttoned, and a pair of dark slightly baggy jeans. You smile when he make eye contact with you, and he calls you over.

“what are we here for?” You ask.

“We’re star gazing.” He states. He looks over at you to see you smiling at him. He smiles back. “I’ve never been star gazing with someone before.” You mumble.

he looks over at you once again. “Really? And I’m the first one?” His smile is so big.

“yeah.”

“Wow.” He looks at into the sky. “Let’s play some games till the stars appear yeah?” You nod.

the night goes by fast, and laughter fills the air. “Oh look. There are stars now!” Heeseung exclaims happily. You look up, a see the beauty in the sky. You smile to yourself. you’re looking at the sky, while heeseung is looking at you. “So pretty.” He mumbles. He looks back up before he gets caught staring.

“Oh and before I forget, I need to tell you something.” Heeseung says. You look over at him, giving him your undivided attention. He takes a deep breath.

“uhm so- uh- ever since I saw you when I moved in, you were so pretty. No- you are so pretty. Oh- straight to the point.” He looks you in the eyes. “Y/n, I like you so much that my heart hurts knowing I can’t have you. I might get kicked out because of this right? If you don’t like me back can we stay friends...” your eyes soften at him. Tears start welling up somehow. You don’t know why you start crying- maybe you were just really happy.

“Nono no no, no- y/n why are you crying?” He cups your face before he pulls you into his chest and let you cry. After you calm down a bit, you look up at him. You laugh at yourself for your stupid actions. He’s confused why you had a sudden mood change, but let’s you do so.

“Lee Heeseung.” He looks down at you in his arms. “You do not understand how much I liked you when I first opened my front door. And no, you will not be kicked out. I don’t know what your saying, but you can have me. I’ve been all yours from the start. I want to be more that just roommates and friends. I like you so much heeseung,” You cry a bit more before looking up at him for an answer, but he’s just staring at you. “What?” You laugh.

you did not expect what happened next. He crashes his lips onto yours. You kiss back almost immediately, and that soon turn to a little make out session. You pull away first, catching your breath. He pulls you back into another kiss, one that’s more passionate. The night ends off with little giggles, and stealing kisses from one another.

—

once the two of you had gotten home, heeseung sat on the couch waiting for you to finish showering. He had already finished way before you did. When you came out, he rushed over to you and hugged your warm body. “I missed you.” He mumbled.

“hee, it’s only been like-40 minutes.” You state.

“I know, but I still missed you.” He whined. You smile at him. “let’s go to sleep yeah?” You pat his face gently and affectionately. He grabs your hand to make it stay on his face and nods while closing his eyes. “m tired anyway.” He mumbles.

you laugh at his cute gestures and then you walk into the kitchen. Our grab his cup and yours, and fill them both with water. “Drink some water first.” He waddles over to you in his matching blue Shin Chan pajamas and obediently drank from his plain black mug.

after that, you both brush your teeth together, and go into his room. It feels as if you’ve always been doing this, though it was the first night dating. You crawl into the sheets, and he immediately pulls you into his embrace. You snuggle into him, and fall asleep very quickly. He kisses your forehead. “Good night, y/n.”

—

a/n- sorry, I got a bit carried away… sorry my grammar is ass, and I didn’t care to check over it.. I love heeseung guys

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mae-gi-writes · 2 years ago

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A TURN OF PRIORITIES . PART THREE | BANG CHAN

Synopsis: What happens when you and Bang Chan decide to fake a relationship for the sake of making your ex-boyfriend jealous? A turn of priorities, that's what.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

——

It’s kind of scary how one thing leads to another.

You’ve never taken yourself as a believer of karma. What goes around comes around, is what they all say. You wished to destroy your boyfriend’s new love life, and you’re now facing a destruction of your own.

You have a crush on your best friend. On the guy whom you’ve seen cry in the movie theatre because of some stupid romcom, on the guy who literally burns himself every time he pulls something out of the oven, the guy who blushes with embarrassment at everything and who has an obsession over Marine animals.

You have a crush on Bang Chan. And you’re not sure how to make it go away.

To top it off, you can’t even talk about it to Minji, considering that she thinks you’re already going out with him.

After the disastrous call that occurred between you and Chan that particular afternoon, you’d kept your phone on silent and hadn’t dared check your messages for fear of what you’d find there. It’s been two days since and you’re busy frying eggs for breakfast when the sound of your ringtone — sounding eerily ghostly in the silence of the flat — breaks through like an alarm, causing you to flinch.

You check the caller ID, before quickly pressing onto the green button and placing the device at your ear, “hey Minji.”

“Good morning sunshine, so I’ve heard you and Chan have been having a little fight?”

“What?” Your voice comes out a little louder than expected and you try to tone it down when you ask, “what are you talking about?”

“Oh don’t act innocent Y/N, I saw Chan in Chem today and he looked like his dog died or something. It was obvious something was wrong,” she says and you picture her rolling her eyes, “what happened?”

“Nothing happened,” you say firmly, hoping that it will be enough to persuade her in leaving Chan alone, “he’s just having a hard time because of exams. You know how stressed out he can get.”

Minji hums, “shouldn’t you help him out? He looks like shit.”

“I have,” you lie smoothly. The lies come out so easily now, it’s been such a long time since you’ve been truthful to her. A pang of guilt hits you straight in the chest.

“How about bringing him along to Eunchae’s christmas party? She’s a classmate of mine and she’s throwing one at her flat complex because her roomies won’t be here this weekend. That might cheer him up.”

Eunchae? Not that Eunchae, surely?

“I don’t think I know her.”

“Chan might, we’re in the same Industrial Design class.”

Oh. Well. That explains everything. Of course you don’t want to show your face there. Nor do you think Chan will.

“I’ll talk to him,” you hurriedly say and quickly end the call so as not to sprout any more lies. Then, opening your messaging app after what seems to be an eternity, you scroll down your list of contacts until you click on Chan’s name.

Y/N: sup bro.

Sounds innocent enough right? You can almost imagine that nothing had happened these past two days.

Taking your eggs out of the frying pan, you lay them neatly atop your two slices of toast before heading over to the tiny dining table in the corner. As you sit down, a notification pops up. Chan’s reply.

Chan: ???

Chan: I’m confused…

Y/N: About what?

Chan: are you secretly stalking me?

Y/N: …now I’m confused.

Chan: open the door.

Y/N: ???????

On cue, the doorbell rings and the sound makes you jump, yelping slightly as you do so. Talk about coincidence.

“Hi,” Chan grins at you when you open the door, not seeming at all upset by what had transpired two days ago. Not that you’re going to remind him. It’s none of his business, after all.

“Not to be rude or anything but isn’t it a bit early for you to be here?” You ask when you glance at the clock that reads nine in the morning. Knowing Chan’s bad habit of playing till the sunrise on days he doesn’t have any lectures, it’s quite a surprise to see that he’s up and functional so early in the morning.

But you regret it the moment the words slip past your lips, for Chan’s face suddenly takes on a color so red you might think he’s gotten sunburnt in the span of a few seconds.

You don’t have to put two and two together.

“I was…uhm…I was talking to Eunchae.” He hurriedly adds, as if to make up for his pathetic excuse, “about our chem assignment from last week—“

“Oh cut the crap Chan,” you interrupt him quite rudely, plopping yourself down at the table before resuming your breakfast as you motion for him to serve himself, “were you on a date?”

“I—uh—well, no. We were—studying together. Yeah.”

You scowl and he quickly goes to grab a mug to evade your stare.

“So,” you ask while he pours himself some coffee, “so why are you here then? Isn’t it a bit rude to ditch your real girlfriend for your fake one?”

“I actually wanted to see how my best friend was doing,” he shoots you a pointed look over the rim of his mug, “and like I said, it wasn’t a—a date.”

“You’ve seen me. Happy now?”

“Wow, what is up your butt today?”

“Nothing,” you look away, clear your throat, “nothing at all. Just—“

You break off without saying anything more and the silence is enough to cover whatever excuse you were going to come up with. The argument from a few days ago rings in the back of your mind and you wonder whether he’s as tormented about the topic of discussion as you are.

Oh, who are you kidding? He’s been on a date this morning. Clearly he knows exactly what he’s doing. Ad not feeling bad about it in the slightest.

And why should he? It’s not like you’re really dating!

“Hey,” it’s not his voice, but the touch of his fingers along your face. You blink, only to see him tucking a few stray strands behind the curve of your ear. An action he’s come to become familiar with from that last date. Still, it’s surprising, considering that Chan has never been so fond of touching other people.

“You wanna talk about what happened that night?”

Your eyes slip from his face to your empty plate. Something knots in the middle of your stomach. No.

“Nothing happened that night,” comes your mumble.

You feel him shift, and then, a soft lingering touch along the side of your arm. His shoulder, pressing into yours.

He’s warm. Warmer than you’ve expected.

A surge of comfort rises in the grooves of your chest.

“It really wasn’t a date, if you must know,” Chan’s mumble feels like a hundred knives pricking into your skin, “we were just working. Really—“

”I don’t care Chan,” you chortle.

He blinks at you, “Okay,” he drags out the word, then continues, “can I ask you something then?”

“What?”

“Why were you so upset that night? When I told you she liked me?”

“I wasn’t upset.”

He looks at you as if saying really? And unconsciously, your hands start moving around the cutlery along the plate; crossing them, uncrossing them. Crossing them.

“Okay fine, maybe I was.”

“What for?”

And that is when you give him a wan smile, “nothing that you should worry about, Chan. It’s girl things.”

“Don’t patronize me. That won’t scare me away like when I was younger.”

“Aw man, that used to work all the time,” memories of you taunting Chan about your period and the amount of blood drenching the toilet suddenly flickers through your mind, causing a small smile to dangle upon your lips, “but really, there’s no need to worry. I’m fine now.”

As much as you want to kick up a fuss about slowly losing your best friend to someone else, it wouldn’t be fair to the other girl for you to suddenly sprout your feelings out loud when he’s just gotten confessed to, especially when this is probably the first time since forever since he’s gotten a shot at normal dating life.

Who are you to interfere with his happiness?

“By the way, speaking of Eunchae,” you tell him right when he’s about to leave. Currently shoving his feet into his sneakers, he looks up at you, lips parted and in that particular moment, you feel you might kiss him.

“Uhm,” thoughts scramble as you try to stammer your way out of this sudden knot of flustered embarrassment, “will you be going to her party?”

“You’re invited?” He frowns.

“Y-Yeah. Minji invited me.”

Chan straightens then, body looming over yours and causing you to tilt your head up and— has he always been taller than you were? Your eyes flicker down to the arm slinging his backpack over his shoulder. Veins.

Oh, beautiful. You quickly snap your gaze away, “so, are you coming or not?”

“Are you?”

“Probably.”

“Then I’m coming,” a lopsided smile breaks cross his face, “can’t let my girlfriend go alone now, can I?”

Your heart stutters for a beat.

Your mouth opens, closes, then opens again. Speechless.

Chan merely chuckles before reaching over to ruffle your hair, “alright, see you tomorrow.”

“Bye,” you say blankly, not realizing that he’s gone until he’s halfway down the hall. It is only then that you manage to shake yourself out of this sudden reverie.

You quickly slam both hands cross your cheeks in growing irritation. Get a grip, Y/N! What is wrong with you?!

Girlfriend. He’d called you his girlfriend.

Not for long. But long enough.

——

You immediately feel like running away the moment you step through Eunchae’s apartment door.

The doorway is lit up with Christmas garlands — red and green and gold — partnered with fairy lights glimmering in welcome as you step through only to bump into someone’s back. The place is packed, god knows Eunchae is one of the popular kids at school, being one of the top pianists to be majoring in both music and science. The space is compact but open, with the kitchen on your far right separated by an island decorated in black and white marble. To your left is a spacious living room filled decked with vast couches of white-colored leather, on which sit a crowd of people engrossed currently engrossed in the Super Mario competition going on, shouts and jeers filling the air at intervals.

Regret pools inside your stomach and makes your mouth go dry. Maybe you should turn back, after all. You barely know this girl—

“Y/N!”

Shit. Too late. You swivel, coming face to face with none other than Minji. She beams at you, sparkly silver dress and heels to match, her face dolled up like a beauty pageant. She looks stunning.

“Hi,” you lean into the big hug she gives you, “there’s so many people here.”

“Yeah, Eunchae is a bit of a social butterfly. Let’s go say hello!” And before you can protest that maybe you should get a drink first, Minji is already tugging you along through the throng of bodies as the beats echo through the walls, seeming to come from the outside terrace.

“Eunchae!” Minji quickly directs herself towards a pretty girl with dyed blonde hair and a pretty smile who had been deep in conversation with one of the jocks that you recognized as Minho’s friend Seungmin, “hi! Thanks for inviting me!”

“Oh hey Minji, you made it!” Eunchae greets her back with a one-armed hug, then glancing over to you and grinning, “thanks for coming. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Y/N, you probably know her. She’s Chan’s best friend.”

“Oh!” Something lights up in Eunchae’s eyes, “so you’re the Y/N he keeps talking about. Lovely to finally meet you!”

You shake her hand, glad her fake nails aren’t piercing through your skin at this rate, “likewise,” you force a smile, knowing full well why Chan might be in love with her. You would be too, if you were a guy. She’s everything anyone has ever asked for.

Pretty, gorgeous, friendly…and most of all, a perfect fit for Chan.

“You haven’t gotten any drinks yet,” she remarks, grinning coyly before pointing at the marble counter on the far right, “please, go help yourselves. There’s everything but water.”

You find yourself cracking a smile, even chuckling a little as you raise a hand at her, “thanks, will try to find something drinkable.”

The party is now in full swing. Jeering, shouting, music blasting from the speakers and reverberating through your skull. With a glass of whisky and coke in hand, Minji doesn’t hesitate to drag you to the dance floor and together, you start swaying. The air smells of alcohol and sweat but you find you don’t quite mind, not when you’re busy enjoying the way the beats swim through your bloodstream as the alcohol takes over logic and reason.

At some point you feel a pair of hands fluttering over your hips. Turning with a scowl at the ready — and a fist curled just in case — you’re surprised to find that it’s Chan. But not Chan.

He’s gazing down at you in amusement, corner of his lips tilted and an eyebrow raised as if to as you what in the world you were doing. But he’s ditched the glasses and his hair is gelled up. His black t-shirt is fitted and the jean jacket he’s thrown over it subtly emphasizes the breadth of his shoulders.

You can’t help but suck in a breath. He looks gorgeous.

Instead you blurt out, “you’re late!”

“My bad,” Chan yells over the music and though it’s definitely not Chan behaviour to be touching you so casually, you actually don’t mind savoring his touch a little more and you lean in closer, slightly closer as he adds, “if it helps, Minho was the one who was late. I had to wait for him for thirty minutes.”

You chortle, rolling your eyes and take another sip of your drink, “d’you want one?” You wiggle it towards your best friend.

“Nah,” he shakes his head, nose wrinkling and you swear something clenches in your heart when he does that, “I’ll pass.”

“Weakling.”

He jabs you playfully in the ribs and you giggle, slinging an arm around his shoulder before dragging him to the dance floor. Minji appears a few seconds later with Minho in tow, hips swinging and with a smile so big it might tear her face apart as she hangs onto her boyfriend like he’s the only source of physical support. The act makes you turn away, gulp down the rest of your drink in hopes that it would take away the itch in your heart.

At some point in the evening you find yourself on the couch competing against complete strangers turned into friends, shouting as you urge your car to go fastest, dodging bananas and throwing your head back in laughter as the boy beside you received a red tortoise shell.

“Shit!” He buries his face into the pillow on his lap, “ugh! That’s it, I’m dead!”

You whoop in glee when the finish line appears on your screen, “And I won!”

“You’re just lucky,” he grumbles. Then, after a few beats of hesitation, reaches his hand out to you, “I’m Felix.”

“Y/N,” you shake his hand with a grin, “so I take it Mario Kart isn’t your forte?”

“You’re the one who probably rigged the game.”

“Oh I did not!” You gasp mockingly, “you’re accusing me right now?”

“Don’t lie to me, I saw the way your eyebrows were wriggling when we were playing.”

“Oh so I’m a witch now?”

He can’t help but laugh, “have we met before?”

“Not that I know of. I’m from the landscape architect major,” you lean back against the couch as someone else asks for the remote. You toss it to them before turning back to Felix, noticing the flecks of golden brown scattered across his face, “and you?”

“Bio-Chem.”

You throw your hands in the air, “why is everyone in Bio-Chem?!”

“Maybe because it’s the most popular major that our university offers?”

You shoot him a look, rising up from your seat to stretch, “I’m going to get a drink. You want something?”

“I’ll come with you.”

You make your way to the kitchen after having pushed through the crowd of people — it seems they keep increasing every hour — and it isn’t until you reach the kitchen counter that you spot Chan and Eunchae flirting, heads close together and giggling like sickly school children. It makes you want to hurl something.

Felix, unaware of your conflicted feelings, calls out, “hey Chan, man! Long time no see.”

“Hey,” Chan starts to grin, only for it to fall flat the moment his eyes find yours. Instantly, a frown clouds his brows, “you okay, Y/N?”

“Never been better,” you all but snarl, pushing past his figure to get to the fridge. You grab a new bottle of coke, pour yourself some. Grab the vodka to fill it up to the brim, the drink sizzling like a potion.

“You drunk?” Chan’s question throws you off guard. Spinning around to see him, a scowl imprints itself on your face, “not that it’s your business. But no, I’m not drunk. Thanks for asking.”

You don’t wait for your best friend to say anything else. Grabbing Felix’s elbow and pulling the said man out of the kitchen, you keep on walking until you’re finally out onto the terrace and the cool wind gently caresses your face, causes your hair to tickle your cheeks, cool them down. It’s a stark contrast to the heat along the back of your neck.

You hadn’t noticed it but Felix’s eyes are straying over your features, searching them as though you’re a puzzle he’s trying to decipher.

“You okay?” He finally yells out over the music, “you look like you’re gonna be sick.”

“I’m fine,” you force a smile. Then, you make a grab for his hand and tug him towards the dance floor, “come on!” You try to add some cheerfulness into your voice, “I want to dance!”

The hours easily slip by when you lose yourself into the music once more. You can almost ignore the small hole that’s slowly spreading across your chest every time Chan’s face flashes through your mind. Chugging drink after drink, you allow yourself to be woozy, to get drunk in an attempt to forget. You don’t want to think any more. You don’t want to hurt anymore.

So you keep on dancing. Dancing even if your feet hurt. Even if your heart is breaking.

Dancing even when Felix says goodbye because he has to go home.

It is only when a hand encloses itself around your arm that you whip around.

“What?!” You snap a little too harshly into Chan’s face, causing him to wince.

“You’re drunk<“ he says simply while dragging you out of the dance floor, “come on—“

“Let me go!” You’re turning and twisting against him, but he pays you no mind and that infuriates you even more. Hot tears start burning at the corner of your eyes as you keep on tugging at his grip, hating the way he thinks he can force you to see him when he’s the last thing you wish for at this very moment.

But Chan is too strong for you to compete, dragging you all the way to the bathroom before closing the door with a satisfied click.

Your body slumps against the closed toilet lid as a tired ache spreads through your calves, your legs. You’re tired. You’ve been dancing for god knows how long.

“What do you want?” You try not to slur your words. They come out slurred anyway, it’s easier said than done.

Chan lets out a soft sigh. He crouches before you so that his face becomes level with yours, and in his eyes you notice the concern swimming through those maroon pupils, hating the way it causes warmth to spread through your chest.

You look away, “stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you don’t know what to do with me.”

“I really don’t know what to do with you,” he shakes his head, “why are you angry at me?”

“I’m not angry at you.”

“So what are you? Why are you looking at me like that?”

The words scratch your throat like sandpaper. But you blurt them out anyway, “because I can’t stand seeing you flirt with that Eunchae girl. It pisses me off—“

“So you’re jealous? Is that what it’s about?”

“I’m not jealous—“

“Then what is it? I don’t get it Y/N—”

“I don’t get it either!” You yell out with such emotion it makes him take a breath. A sob escapes your mouth, the words broken along your tongue, “I have no fucking clue and it’s fucking with my head! And I’m so tired! I’m so tired of—“

Your words drown in mid-yelp when Chan’s hands cradle your face, pull you in, to crash his lips to yours.

You gasp, wriggling in his hold; this is all going to end badly—

But his lips follow yours like a magnet, kissing your next set of words away as they dissolve upon your lips.

He’s warm. His kiss is warmer, lighting a fire inside your stomach and making you all but melt into him with a soft sigh.

Chan tilts his head, mouth slanting even more intimately against yours as your nose brushes his. It’s intoxicating, the way his lips move against yours like water currents finding a rhythm, the way his hands slide to your hips to grip them in place, rooting you to his chest.

A shudder runs through you, hands sliding up to the back of his head. A small moan echoes from the back of his throat, he kisses you deeper, tongue gently sliding out to run along your lips.

You part for him like warm butter and a wanton breath falls from your mouth the moment his wet muscle meets yours in a dance, an unfamiliar one, but not unwelcome. You can’t help but grip him tighter to you, tilting your head to match his rhythm, him pulling you so close you’re almost tumbling onto his lap.

You swear your entire brain is filled with fireworks, sparks exploding left, right and center as he keeps kissing you like his life is about to end, like you’re never going to see each other again. He kisses, you note, like a man starved of oxygen and he’s suddenly found an addictive source. Like a man on drugs.

You’re so entangled with each other that you’re not sure where your bodies end and begin, limbs entwined like barks on a tree. And it isn’t until Chan’s thumb gently slides over your rib cage that you let out a pained whimper.

He stills, drawing back ever so slightly to look into your eyes. His pupils are dark, dazed and drunken on the scent and the taste of you. Nobody says a thing for a whole minute as you keep on gazing at each other through heavy lids.

His mouth is perfect, puckered and pink from your assault. He’s beautiful.

You’re fucked.

——-

Yup. Definitely fucked.

You barely escaped Chan that night, having muttered an abstract excuse and quickly slipping past him while he was still in shock of your whole encounter. You were secretly glad and disappointed at the same time that he hadn’t come for you, hadn’t followed you out, and as you trailed back home in your now-broken heels, you couldn’t help but feel like something had ripped at the hope that had built inside your chest.

But as the true avoider of problems that you were, you decided that playing it safe but just ignoring the elephant in the room is the wisest choice at the moment. God knows Eunchae does not need to know what had transpired between you two, especially not when there is hope for a budding relationship. They’re not even going out, and yet you still feel sick. Who are you to be interfering? Why are you always interfering and getting in the middle of things?

So you play it cool, taking the December break as an excuse to not see Chan despite his messages pleading for you two to meet. He still wants some clarification as to what happened that night, but your head is still just as muddled and you have no idea what to say to him.

Chan: Y/N, I really need to talk to you.

Y/N: hey dude sorry, I’ll be a bit busy the whole month actually. You know with Christmas and everything. Let’s talk in Jan when we have some free time :)

Chan: Y/N this isn’t funny anymore

Y/N: nobody said it was supposed to be funny. I’m just busy.

Chan: please

Y/N: …I’m sorry.

He hadn’t responded after that so you hope that somewhere he’s ignoring you to spend some time with the girl of his dreams. Eunchae had been the first to outwardly say that she liked him, and it wouldn’t be fair for you to now confess your feelings.

Then, there was also the issue of Minji bugging you to double date again because of that stupid Christmas market that she simply could not go alone. Turns out that she’s quite persistent about it when she turns up in front of your flat on a Friday afternoon, flanked by both Minho and Chan.

You would’ve laughed at how hilarious the situation is — your ex-boyfriend with the guy you’re crushing on, if not for the fact that nothing had been resolved in the first place.

“I told you I’m not feeling good,” you say weakly as Minji quickly ruffles through your wardrobe, chucking what seems fit for this occasion while the two boys are waiting in the living room, “you guys should go without me.”

“Absolutely not. Chan looks miserable because you haven’t hung out with him at all these days. What’s up with that?” She looks over her shoulder at you, lips pursed, “did you have a fight or something?”

“No! Nothing like that.”

“Then make it right please. He’s been boring us with all his sulking.”

You wish you could tell her. You’re really aching for a second opinion. But everything is now just a mess that you have no idea how to clean and telling her would mean that you’d have to admit to all the ill feelings that had built up inside you all along.

You can’t do that to Minji, not even when she had been the one to steal Minho.

“Y/N, promise you’ll make it okay by dinner time? I can’t stand Chan like this any longer.” Minji pleads, bringing you back to reality.

You blink at her, try for a weak smile, “sure. I’ll try.”

It’s safe to say that the whole outing is awkward, what with you and Chan trying to avoid each other’s gaze while Minji and Minho are the perfect couple in love. Something inside your chest burns with jealousy, like a wildfire that can’t be put out no matter how much you look away. How come they get to be happy? How come you can’t share this happiness?

"Waaah look at all those lights!" Minji bounces from one foot to the other as you enter the market bustling with commotion. It's almost christmas time and people are busy buying gifts, apple cinammon wafting through the air on one side, crepes and chocolate on the other. Merchants are displaying pretty christmas pottery while some are exposing christmas sweaters, calling out people from the street as christmas jingles fill the air with excitement.

Your eyes take in the mulled wine brewing in the corner. Dang. That looks appetizing. And you probably need it.

A tug at your coat causes you to turn, blinking up at your best friend.

"We lost Minji."

He lets go to resume his walk and something lodges in the back of your throat at his posture. It'a tense, hands in pockets, like he doesn't want to be here.

"Hey Chan," you're quick to put a hand on his shoulder, causing him to glance down at you.

"What?" His eyes are searching, looking around to not focus on you. Your heart tugs with pain and you say, "can we...talk?"

"What, now?"

"Y--Yeah."

There's a beat of awkward silence as you wait for his answer. Then, Chan's hand grabs yours before he tugs and as you stumble against him you can't help flashing back to the way he'd gripped you to him that night, with almost desperate passion to kiss you senseless. Breathless.

It makes you warm all over.

There's a small area away from the big crowd, cozy and intimate with warming stations. Chan orders two mulled wines and brings them over to you, perched on a small wooden bench just big enough to fit two intimate individuals.

Your shoulder presses against his as he takes a seat and hands you your drink, which you mutter out a thank you before taking a sip. To be honest, you're not quite sure what to say, what to do, despite this being your idea.

You just know you have to make things right.

"I'm...sorry," you mutter into your cup in hopes that he'll hear, the shame burning the tips of your ears pink, "about avoiding you on purpose."

He takes a sip, shudders, "I just need to know why."

You press your lips together, "I...I didn't want things to get all complicated, especially with ...with you likig Eunchae and everything--"

"Who said so?"

You blink at him, "huh?"

"Who said I liked Eunchae?"

He looks away while taking another sip, not quite meeting your eye. You must be dreaming to see the slight blush scattering his cheeks and your brain tries to wrap itself around the new facts being thrown your way.

"Y--You did?" Your remark comes off more like a question. You swear something combusts in your chest as Chan turns to face you, thigh brushing yours while he leans a little closer so that you can feel the warmth of his breath.

"I said Eunchae liked me, but I never said I liked her back."

"You said you wanted to try it out with her."

"Yeah I did," Chan's eyes flit down to your lips, back up to your eyes and something in those dark pupils make you shiver, "until..."

You watch him, unsure. Your words are a mere breath, "until?"

He seems to struggle for words and something like hope sparks through your chest at the thought that maybe, just maybe--

No. Impossible.

"Y'know what, we don't have to have this conversation. You and Eunchae's relationship has nothing to do with me and I shouldn't be interfering," you stand up as you speak, already set on walking away in hopes that he doesn't see the way your heart is breaking, hurting, "let's go find Minji--"

Chan's fingers close around your wrist. He tugs you with enough force that it sends you toppling, yelping as you try to balance your cup--

Only to land in his lap.

One arm laces around your waist, the other slipping up to grip your chin and tilting your head down to face him. At this point, you're almost combusting in place, skin breaking out into sweat and heat rushing up to your face.

Chan's eyes meet yours. They lock, searching, gazing so intently you wish to squirm. Your brain's turned to mush.

"I--I--I--" you're a blubbering mess, scrambling away in protest. But Chan's grip is strong and you're secretly glad you're in a corner against a row of bushes hiding you away from most of the crowd, for this position is more than scandalous, "Wh--What do you--What are you doing Chan?!"

"Y/N," his voice, unlike yours, is calm. Controlled. He's looking at you with a confidence that makes you bite your lip and want to run away.

"W--What? Stop--stop looking at me like that."

An amused smile dances across his lips. He leans even closer, and holds you still when you try to lean back, yelping slightly, "like what?"

His breaths are warm, smell like mint against your skin.

His cup is long done and crumbled on the ground, and he plucks your cup gently from your hold to place it beside his.

"I--I don't know, just--stop, you--you're making me nervous!"

"Am I? He chuckles, "that's new." Pausing for a beat to take in your features, you avert your eyes and decide to find a sudden interest in a loose thread hanging off his shirt, “tell me the truth Y/N, why were you really angry that night?”

“What night?” You mumble in an act of defense.

Chan Chuckles lowly, “the night at Eunchae’s party. Why were you mad?”

“I wasn’t mad.”

“Y/N,” the way your name rolls off his tongue is enough to make you shiver and shut up. There’s a moment of silence where he searches your gaze, prodding, eyebrows furrowed and intent on your face. And you, teeth biting down onto your lower lip as a nervous knot builds in the back of your throat.

You can’t help but break underneath his gaze, “I…” you trail off, not sure how to say it aloud without sounding pathetic or stupid, “I was jealous. I was angry because I was jealous of you and Eunchae.”

“Why?”

Your eyes snap up to his, “because,” you murmur out brokenly, “I—I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else, because it makes me mad to think about the time you’re spending with her, because…because I like you.”

There. You’d said it. Out in the open. And Chan, his face unchanged, shifts you in his lap to get a better grip on your hips, his eyes darkening with emotion as he stares you down. It’s almost as if he’s still waiting for you to continue.

Your hands start wringing themselves together in knots, hoping that the ground would magically swallow you up and steal you away from this very moment. God knows you’re dying of shame and embarrassment with the way Chan is drilling holes into your skull.

“Chan?” You call out tentatively, “can you…say something?”

He takes a breath. Stills. His whole body quivers and he looks away for a second, as if needing to catch his breath.

And when he turns back to you, you’re glad you’re already sitting, for the warmth surging through his orbs makes your stomach giggly and legs feeling like jelly.

“Glad to know I’m not the only idiot who's in love,” he finally whispers out.

It takes you a minute. You blink. The words replay in your head. Wait—did he mean that? Is that what he’s actually saying? Does he—

No. This is a mistake. It surely is. It can’t be.

He chuckles, chest vibrating and breaking you out of your sudden reverie, “what’s with this face? You look like I just told you I was going to go to the North Pole.”

“N—No, I mean—What—Chan, I thought you—but what about—“ you’re a babbling mess at this stage and laughing even harder, Chan pulls you a little closer before his hand slides up to the back of your neck.

He doesn’t hesitate to pull you in. You don’t fight him.

The kiss you share is soft. Tender, and unhurried. Definitely unlike your first kiss in Eunchae’s bathroom. Chan is warm and tastes sweet and bitter at the same time, the tinge of mulled wine on his mouth as he draws away.

There’s a dust of blush on his cheeks and you can’t help but feel the satisfaction from that. At least you know you have that much of an effect. If anything.

“What about—what about Eunchae?” You can’t help but blurt out.

Chan presses his lips together. Then, he shakes his head, “I really enjoyed the attention at first. I never thought anyone would ever be interested in me. To be honest, I was curious,” one of his hands reach up to rub the back of his neck. Probably in nervousness, “but I don’t know. It didn’t click. I found myself…wanting to see you.”

“Hmm,” you hum, fingers playing with the material of his shirt, “interesting. Tell me more.”

“Ah wait a minute,” he frowns, “what about you? What happened to you and Minho? I never thought I was on your radar, until—“

“Until what?”

“Until you—“ the blush is back full force, springing through his cheeks like a bushfire, “until you decided to snog me in the bathroom—“

You gasp, “you snogged me first! You’re the one who kissed me!”

“I—I thought that’s what you wanted!”

“Well—yeah but I mean—it was your move!”

“Okay okay, I just couldn’t help myself,” Chan mutters while burying his face into the crook of your neck, breaths warm and tingling the skin there as his nose skims over your skin, “you looked so pretty with that outfit and—I don’t know, you were jealous and I found it so cute I—I’m sorry. I should’ve asked—“

You scoff to hide the way your cheeks are flushing at his compliments, “good thing I did want to snog your face off.”

He grumbles, nuzzles even more into you if that’s possible. You can’t help but smile, arms tentatively wrapping around his neck to draw him closer into a hug. You want to feel bad for Eunchae. You really do. But right now, sitting in Chan’s arms had never felt so right. The butterflies are roaring against your rib cage, fluttering with such vigor you feel like squirming. You don’t have to check to know that you’re currently grinning from ear to ear. It’s a different feeling, like you’re flying.

You never want to get back on the ground.

“So—what do we do?” You ask after a moment of silence, “are we dating? Or like…”

He pulls his face from your neck with amusement dancing in his eyes, “well, I think maybe I should take you out on a date first.”

“Oh,” just the thought renders you into a colored mess, “right…”

“Are you blushing?” Chan tilts his head to gaze up at you in endearment, warmth flowing from his eyes and making you squirm in his lap, “n—no, it’s just— I’m not used to this,” you mutter back.

“Yeah well, me neither,” Chan murmurs. Then, before you can protest he’s already tugged you back into a full-fledged embrace, nose nuzzling your collarbone and arms gripping you tight against his chest.

“Hey lovebirds!”

You scramble out of Chan’s lap so quickly that you almost fall face first on the gravel. Quickly finding your footing and shooting up into a standing position, you find Chan doing the same as you spot Minji’s head popping through the bushes, a Cheshire smile curling upon her lips.

“Well well well,” she cheers, “seems you two made up, didn’t you?”

You scowl, stomping past her as you say, “come on, I haven’t seen all of the market yet.”

“Well wait for me!” She chirps with another giggle, bouncing up behind you before linking arms and chattering on away about how the Christmas decorations are the cutest this year.

Chan watches you as he follows close behind, affection filling his chest and a grin breaking across his face.

I love her.

——-

"What if he doesn't like it?"

"He'll love it Y/N," Minji says while brushing back a few stray strands from your face. She ties up your hair in an elegant half ponytail, topping it off with a simple black ribbon, "there. You look pretty. There's no way Chan can't find you attractive."

"I know, but how am I supposed to act with him now? It's so...weird..." you blush just at the thought of having dinner face to face with him, the thought of his eyes locking on your own so intimately...

Oh just don't think about it! You feel like slapping yourself in the face. Why does it matter whether you’re alone or not? This is what you’ve been waiting for all this time, wasn’t it?

“What if it’s actually really awkward and we don’t know what to say to each other?” Your mutter s louder than you expect and Minji looks down at you, hands grasping your shoulders as she takes in your words.

“Trust me,” she says with a firmness you can’t quite compete with, “you’ll be fine.”

The doorbell rings just as you’re about to answer her that no, you won’t be fine and nothing about this is fine. Minji hurries over to get the door, barely giving you time to get your senses into check before the it swings open.

Chan gazes at you, blinks at Minji, then back at you like he’s seeing you for the first time.

And when he speaks, he is breathless.

“Hey,” he says, almost shyly. Like he can’t quite meet your eye, “you ready?”

“H-Hi,” you stutter out, cheeks flaming in pink as you scramble to get your bag together before scurrying towards the door, all while ignoring Minji, “so—sorry, were you waiting for long?”

“No no,” he smiles at you and you swear a million butterflies explode throughout your chest at this simple action, “I just came, and—“ he pauses for a second, eyes glancing over your outfit before locking with your own. His smile widens like a little boy who one found with his hand in a cookie jar. Not his cookie jar, “you look nice.”

“Thanks,” you sound breathless as you answer, and quickly try to come back down to earth, “you too.”

It is definitely weirder to be hanging out with Chan knowing that there’s the possibility of romance in the air. It’s not everyday that you get to be so close to the one you’re crushing on. It’s only just recently that you got to see Chan as more than just a friend, like a man, and the thought is unsettling, yet thrilling. One you can’t quite explain in simple words.

He brings you to the movies to watch a christmas-themed blockbuster. You don’t complain, continuing on the stream of chatter as you line up for some popcorn. It’s almost as if everything is normal between you two. Nothing feels as out of place as it should’ve, and slowly you find yourself relaxing the more the evening wears on.

“So is this another one of your stupid romcoms?” You can’t help but tease him as you make your way inside. There are numerous vacant seats and you follow Chan up the stairs until he finds a suitable row.

“it’s not just a stupid romcom okay?” Chan hisses back, and his response causes you to grin in the dark, “stories have happy endings too, you know.”

“Yeah yeah, so you keep saying,” you tease.

“D’you wanna bet that you’ll love this one?” He raises a brow at you.

“Pfft. You’re gonna bet on my reaction?”

His stare is serious, it almost makes you want to squirm in place. Heat rushing to the back of your neck, you hurriedly add on, “alright alright, what will you do for me if I don’t like the movie?”

“You grant me a dare.”

“A what?“ You feel your heart drop. Surely he hasn’t just suggested—

“A dare. You get to do any dare that I order you too,” satisfied, Chan crosses his arms over his chest with a grin, “fair deal?”

“Wha— how is that fair?!”

“It’s totally fair…if you’re honest with me,” he sends you a pointed look.

In the end you had to agree, grumbling a little under your breath as you did so and Chan, grinning from ear to ear, had gently prodded your shoulder with his. You couldn’t help but smile at his action.

He’s not one for skinship. And yet, he makes sure you’re always feeling loved no matter the circumstances.

“So?” He asks as soon as the ending credits roll in, “did you like it?”

In the end, you’d had to agree and abide by his rules. The movie had been — in all honesty — better than expected, though you’re quite unsure whether it had been because of Chan’s company or because it was genuinely good.

“Fine, what’s your dare?” You ask sullenly as you make your way to the exit. You feel like a child about to sulk in a corner.

But Chan laughs lightly, bopping you on the forehead as he says, “ hold my hand, all the way until the end of this date.”

You blink at him, “what if I have to go pee?”

“Then we'll go pee together."

"Didn't you say you didn't like holding hands?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Chan stiffen, colour spreading through his face, "yeah well..." he mutters, "it was different then."

His reaction is adorable, and as you stumble out into the street -- night has fallen and there are more people bumbling about -- you reach your hand out without looking at him, eyes averted to the ground before you feel his warmth wrap arouns yours.

His hand is large, had always been in comparison to yours. Somehow, the way his fingers close around yours makes you see stars.

You find a cozy little restaurant on the corner of the street where the christmas market is taking place. It’s called “Le Coin Ideale”, a small French-owned cafe with old retro vinyls stuck to the wall and faded-out couches scattered all over the place like an expired, outdated living room.

“This is cute,” you can’t help but mutter out as you take your seat. Chan flashes you a grin while handing you one of the menus stacked atop the table, “I found it by accident when I was running late for my chem exam, once.”

“You? Running late?” Your nose wrinkles, “somehow, that doesn’t seem to make so much sense.”

“You know why?” He leans forward, the grin blossoming on his face with such mischief you almost regret what you said, “the night before, you had called me because you couldn’t sleep. And even though I knew I was going to shoot myself in the foot the next day for not sticking to my sleep schedule, I just didn’t want to let you go.”

“What?” You blink at him, astounded by what he just said, “wait, how come I don’t remember—“

“I never told you my exam was the day after. You would’ve killed me.”

In response, you slap his arm. He winces, yelping out a protest, “what was that for?!”

“For being an idiot,” you grumble and avert your gaze, heat spreading through your cheeks. How adorable. He’d actually sacrificed his sleep for you. “Don’t do that again.”

Ordering two cups of hot chocolate and sandwiches — at this point you were just too engrossed in what Chan had to say that you don’t care what you’re eating as long as it’s food — the two of you keep up the stream of chatter as memories flood in. He reminds you of how, back in high school, you would hide in the art room just to get away from the crowd. Despite being popular due to your position on the cheerleading squad, you’d never been a fan of too much attention. Chan used to hang out with you there, painting portraits of your face, your side profile, your eyes, as you spoke about everything and anything.

“I always thought it was weird that you were on the cheerleading team,” Chan admits while munching through his sandwich.

“Hm?” You frown, “why? I think I was doing pretty good.”

“Yeah you were. You were one of the best they had. But, I don’t know,” he lifts his shoulders in a shrug, “you never seemed to fit in with the rest of the girls. Most of them were unbearable.”

You can’t help but giggle, “they’re not that bad. You’re the one who just hated talking to new people.”

“Yeah maybe,” he grabs a napkin as he speaks, reaching up to wipe your lips without a second’s hesitation and causing your heart to flutter, “I don’t think I’ve changed that much since high school.”

You’re trying really hard to keep holding onto his gaze despite the amount of heat frolicking inside your chest. You feel like you suddenly can’t breathe.

“I—well, I think no one has,” your eyes avert themselves to your drink and you quickly take a sip, “but I think we’ve become better.”

“What do you mean?”

“We haven’t changed. We’ve just…blossomed. Into who we are supposed to be. We don’t have to change for that.”

“Poet Y/N strikes again,” Chan’s lips curl up into a smile. He lets his head drop into his palm, tilting his face to gaze at you, “aren’t you cute.”

“Shut up,” you attempt to kick his shin.

He yelps, pulling his feet back as far as they can go, “wow, this is how you thank me for complimenting you? I’m hurt, Y/N.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“Just for you,” his face breaks out into a grin then. You can’t help but grin back, heart soaring at the affection swimming in his gaze.

If you’d had any doubts about Chan loving you then, the way he’s looking at you throws every doubt out of the window.

He’s just so beautiful.

The afternoon sets in with golden sunlight streaming through the trees adorning the park and, considering the nice weather — albeit for the frozen ice to be wary of — it’s the best occasion for a walk.

“Do you know swans mate for life?” You say as you skirt around a patch of frozen ice.

“Like, actually?”

“Yeah. They’re one of the few animals that do. It’s kinda cute.”

The sun is warm as it hits your skin, a great contrast to the cold wind trickling through your hair. You push your beanie down in an attempt to savor more warmth, “they’re a lot like humans in that sense.”

“Not all humans mate for life, though.”

“No, they don’t,” you pull a grimace, “though I believe that people would be happier if they just committed—woah!”

There’s no way to steady yourself when your foot goes swinging forward, body lurching back as a cry escapes your lips and if it weren’t for Chan’s arms grabbing a hold of you and pulling you to his chest, you would’ve probably gotten a big bruise all along your back.

“Thanks,” you stutter it out between chattering teeth. It’s suddenly a lot colder now, “jeez, that’s dangerous.”

“You okay?” Chan asks, arms still wrapped around your middle, not letting go.

You nod firmly and, as he slowly sets you right upon your feet once again, you notice his hand sliding down your arm to interlace his fingers with yours.

“Ha,” you can’t help but chuckle, glancing up at him, “smooth.”

He’s blushing. And yet, grinning like there’s no tomorrow, “I know.”

The rest of the evening is spent browsing through the various stalls. You try on funny Christmas hats, take photos of each other as you laugh, and get to buy some mulled wine along the way. Christmas songs are blasting through the air like a national anthem but you find you don’t mind, it when your heart feels like it’s about to burst with emotion at any given moment.

Afterwards, as Chan walks you back home — much to your protest since you live opposite ways — you ask him how long he’s been feeling this way.

His answer is a shrug, “can’t tell. I just know it happened very suddenly. One day you were just a friend, and the next—I felt like you could be something more,” he ducks his head in embarrassment, eyes finding the ground crunching underneath your feet, “the thing is, once I realized—it just made sense. You know?”

“Yeah,” a smile breaks across your face, “yeah I know what that feels like.”

Reaching your apartment too soon for your liking, you make a quick work of unlocking the door and quickly tossing your shoes aside by the wall, "woah, I'm actually very tired."

There's no response, causing you to look back at Chan, standing by the doorway and shuffling on his feet like an awkward duck.

"Uhm," his hand is back at his neck, eyes darting between you and the apartment, "I--I'm not sure I should come in."

"Wha--why not?"

"Because it doesn't seem appropriate," he blushes.

"Dude it's fine, it's not like you haven't been in here--" the thought halts you in your tracks. You bite your lip. Oh. Right. You are in an established relayionship now. It's different.

"I--I mean," you stammer out, turning back around to set the shopping bags on the table as a source of distraction, "Yeah it's fine. Just--yeah come in and stop being so awkward."

You pour him some hot chocolate and bring it over to the couch where Chan has taken his place, as still as a solid rock, and he paints such a cute picture of innocence that a grin breaks across your face upon tracing his features.

"You know, it's still just me," you try to lighten the mood in hopes that Chan would actually stop being so tense, "you don't have to sit so straight either."

"I know," taking a shaky breath, he relaxes back into the couch and it seems like a weight has suddenly lifted from his shoulders, "yeah sorry. I'm just still not used to--you know..."

"Yeah I do," your grin widens and without warning, you swoop in to peck his cheek.

He lets out a sound between a yelp and a gasp as you chuckle, "you're cute, Chan."

"Don't call me that," he narrows his eyes at you.

"But you are," you're trying your best to mask your laugh but it's impossible with him looking so offendes by your words, "I'm sorry, it's just--I can't it, you're adorable--"

"Don't test me, Y/N."

"Ooh, what's big boy Chan gonna do huh?" You lean over, eyes sparkling, "that sounds scary--hey!"

He tackles you without warning, knocking your legs out from underneath before grabbing hold of your wrists. You shriek, playfully kicking at him as he lets his weight press down on you, chest against chest, skin against skin. Pinning you down onto the couch with a breathless grin, he chuckles at the annoyance on your face.

"Not so chatty now, are we?"

His murmur washes over you. Warm, tantalizingly so. You feel youraelf melting under his touch like butter.

Is this how love is supposed to feel? He's barely doibg anything and you feel like your heart has wings.

"For someone so shy, you're quite bold," is the only thing that you manage to say, though your words trail off as his lips inch closer and closer, "Chan..."

His eyes are glazed over, dark with untold emotion as they zero in on your lips. The butterflies explode tenfold across your tummy, legs squirming together only for Chan's thigh to slide in-between to part them.

You gasp, the air catching in the back of your throat as you feel his fingers interlock with yours.

Goosebumps tickle along your skin and you swallow thickly.

He's rendering you insane just by being so close to you and you can't help but wonder; where did your best friend go?

"Y/N."

His voice is soft, raw with restraint as you still, breathing the same air for a moment. You wish you can look away because he's making you feel all sorts of things. But you find you can't, pulled in by the ghostly power of chemistry triggered between your two bodies. It's as if time stops, the entire world freezing and suspending you two in a small pocket of bliss.

You're brought back to earth by Chan's soft growl. His fingers tighten ever so slightly on yours, and you bite down onto your lower lip upon feeling a knot tighten at the base of your stomach.

Is he going to...

"I--" he licks his lips, "I want to kiss you," he pauses for a beat, then adds, "Please."

You gaze at him. Your heart skips.

Then, you dip your head into a nod.

And before you know it, he's already tilted his head to press his lips against yours.

It's not like the first time, desperate and eager and drunk.

It's neither like the second, tentative and soft and filled with all the things you wished you had told him.

It's tender, yet firm. Caring. As if Chan already knows what you want, what you need. You feel him, firm and warm pressed up against you like he'd die if he didn't. You kiss back slightly, lips nibbling on his and causing a small breath to escape his throat. reassurance, probably. But it makes you melt even further into the couch as he continues kissing your next breath away.

You can taste him. Smell him. He smells of musk and boy deodorant, the kind that makes your head all dizzy as his mouth slants against yours even more intimately, pushing and moving and tongue licking the seam of your lips. You whimper, mouth opening to allow his tongue to dance with yours as he pushes you further back into the couch.

It's only when you need air that you find yourself parting, breathless and chest heaving as you feel his nose brushing yours with eyes half-lidded like he's judt come out of a dream.

Ironic, considering that what he says next is, "I'm not...dreaming, right?"

Dishevelled locks and a pouty mouth greets you as your eyes flutter open, and something in your lower stomach churns at the intensity in his eyes. Dark and molten with desire.

"No," your murmur is barely a breath of air that caresses his face. He sighs before nuzzling his nose into your cheek, "thank god."

Impulsively, your arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer to you and he happily obliges, face finding thr crook of your neck as you pillow your cheek on the side of his head, pressing a small kiss there.

It's so magical, so surreal. Yet it feels so right to have Chan in your arms.

It's incresible what life throws your way. This entire ordeal had started as a fake relationship, an excuse, a means to an end.

And now, you couldn't inagine yourself living without it. Without him.

"I love you."

You blurt out the words before you can stop yourself and Chan stills in your arms. His head lifts slightly, eyes finding yours as one of his hands reach up to caress your cheek.

"I love you too," he murmurs, and another flood of fireworks cause your heart to melt and explode at the same time.

You can't help but kiss him again. He kisses back with just as much ardour. And you think this is it.

This is home.

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maccreadysbaby · 1 year ago

Note

i loved your drummer boy hcs and now i need more >:3 !!! what would he be like as a boyfriend :3 ??

Dating Drummer Boy Headcanons 💙

this boy has so much love to give it’s kinda ridiculous

believe it or not he is fairly new to the dating scene (and by fairly i mean perfectly preserved pie new) so his s/o will have to be patient with him

he is so worried about crossing their lines that he never does anything first. it’s sweet in an annoying kind of way

he kinda turns into a lapdog. he just wants to be next to them all the time. constantly. even more so than when he was just crushing on them

no kidding, this guy swoons over every-freaking-thing they do. it’s like the crush but on steroids

he’s very respectful of their boundaries so they will have to either tell him certain things are okay, or do them first. (such as casual pecks on the mouth or whatever) he’s seen other couples do it but he doesn’t want to risk losing them over something like that

he does get very protective and might even talk desdemona into letting him have a field position so he can be with them when they’re running ops

will destroy them with pet names even if they hate them. his favorites are “love” and “baby”

if they touch him first, he is putty in their hands, no questions asked

and cuddling knocks him out like drugs

he collects cool trinkets and random things from around town that reminds him of them just to give it to them

bro is seriously lovesick. he just freaking loves them so much

is constantly worried when they’re gone, and if they show up injured? carrington is better off just to knock him out, too

he hates it when they’re hurt or sick and will pester the absolute life out of whoever is caring for them, but he means well! he’s just nervous lol

during this time of being cared for, he won’t leave their side. literally ever

if they get to the point where they live together, he is a great roomie

very tidy and can actually kinda cook, will clean just to see them smile when they walk through the door

his hugs are long and warm, and just as enthusiastic every single time he sees them

kisses are gentle and sweet

and he will attack them with a kiss or a hug out of literally nowhere no matter what they’re doing

he is very gentle with them — he will listen to all their problems, let them vent, let them cry on him without trying to fix it like so many other guys do

he will be by their side no matter what. they become the most important thing in his life, his number one priority

he’d be okay with the world burning if it meant his love got to live

and if they died somehow? off the rails

not even violent or raging but just… gone. like he isn’t even himself anymore, he’s just gone

yeah the shell of him is there but everything that made him drummer boy is missing

but overall, he is such a loyal, sweet boyfriend, whoever pulls him is just about the luckiest in the commonwealth

#fallout four #fallout 4 #fallout #fo4 #railroad #drummer boy

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m4tthewmurd0ck · 3 years ago

Text

𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐧 ~ 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐱 (𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞) 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫!

【 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎 】 (below the cut)

word count: 1.8k

*NOTE: this is taken from my one-shot “fate”, I posted it before I decided to publish Burn on here (originally it was just going to be bits from the story. so that’s why it might look familiar. but I am changing a few things, including how it ends! (since that was meant to be a one-shot, I wrapped it up with a happy ending. but this is part of a larger story so it’s different)

MATT SAYS THAT MEETING YOU WAS FATE. You always laugh and point out that you’re Foggy’s sister, that even if you hadn’t met the day he moved into the dorms, you would’ve met eventually. But still, he insists it was fate.

The day had started out like any other. You had already settled into your dorm room, wanting to feel comfortable right away since you’d be sleeping there every night. You and Foggy hadn’t made any new friends just yet, so you stuck together like you had since you were kids.

On this particular day, Foggy was sat with his laptop in front of him, attempting to add a few more classes to his schedule. You, on the other hand, you were already all set up. So you sat lounging on the other bed since his roommate hadn’t arrived yet.

When a series of loud knocks echoed in the room, you immediately hopped off the bed.

“Excuse me is this room 312?”

“Yeah, who are you looking for?” Foggy mumbled, not even bothering to glance up from his laptop.

“Dude,” you hissed under your breath, walking over to him and giving him a slap on the back of the head.

It was only then that he finally looked up. “Oh— uh, sorry.”

“What for?”

“You’re blind, right?”

“Uh yeah, so they tell me. I hope that won’t be a problem.”

“Why would it?”

You began to count in your head, wondering how long it would take your dear brother to figure it out. And suddenly, it was like a switch went off in his mind.

“Oh! You’re my new roomie!”

You sighed, shaking your head. “This dummy is Foggy. I’m his sister,” you smiled, introducing yourself.

“It’s nice to meet you both. Matt Murdock,” he stepped forward, hand outstretched.

You were quick to close the gap between you, and you shook his hand. Foggy finally stood up, and you stepped aside.

“Wait, Matt Murdock… you’re not from Hell’s Kitchen are you?”

“Uh, yup. Born and raised.”

Foggy got a big grin on his face. “So are we! Yeah we heard about you when we were kids. You saved that guy crossing the street?”

You noticed Matt seemed just a tad uncomfortable with this subject.

“I— I just did what anyone would’ve done.”

“Bullshit you are a hero.”

“I’m really not.”

“Come on you got your peepers knocked out saving that old dude!”

At that last comment, you grabbed a pillow and threw it right at Foggy’s head. “One day you’re gonna say the wrong thing to the wrong person, and they’re gonna punch you. It’s a wonder it hasn’t happened already.”

“Please, it’s nothing, no offense taken whatsoever,” Matt chuckled. “Most people dance around me like I’m made of glass, I hate that. This is, this is a nice change.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “you don’t need to worry about that with this guy, he’s never had a filter in his entire life.”

As Foggy attempted to explain how it would be awesome now that he could be Matt’s wingman and Matt could be his, you began to quietly gather your things. The room was pretty small and you were sure Matt would want to unpack his things without a stranger taking up nearly all of the space on his bed.

Just as you put your bag over your shoulder, Matt turned to face you. “Leaving already?”

You paused, wondering how he knew that when you barely made a noise. “Oh, umm, yeah. I was just about to head back to my dorm. Probably grab some coffee on the way back.”

Normally you were quite shy around new people, and in that moment you’re not quite sure what’s going through your head when you speak again. “Actually, do either of you want to come? It’s close by.”

Foggy asks Matt if he knows of any good coffee spots on campus, to which Matt replies that he doesn’t and actually isn’t that familiar with the layout yet.

“Well lucky for you, we are familiar and we do know a place, and it’s filled with luscious co-ed’s. Shall we?”

A couple of minutes later, you all emerge from the dorm building and begin walking down the street.

Without warning, Matt puts his arm around you and pulls you closer to his side. Less than a couple of seconds later, a girl goes speeding by, riding her bicycle on the sidewalk and not paying attention to anyone in her path.

A car on the road honks at the girl as she rides by without stopping, causing you to jump a little.

“What is it with everyone today,” Foggy shakes his head.

“Here,” Matt holds his arm out, sensing her nerves. “I’ll be like your guide dog. Except I’m blind, but I can still lead the way.”

Hearing this, you can’t help but laugh, and all tension quickly goes away. You link your arm through his and both hurry to catch up to Foggy, who’d already begun walking again.

When you finally reach the coffee shop, Matt tries, and fails, to hold back a smile when you don’t move your arm even as you’re all ordering.

Matt hadn’t expected to make friends so quickly, and he genuinely appreciated that neither you nor Foggy walked on eggshells around him. Random room assignments were always a gamble, and Matt knew he hit the jackpot.

As he ordered his coffee, you snuck a couple of glances at the man who stood next to you. You still wondered how he knew you were leaving, and how the hell he was able to hear that woman on her bicycle. In any case, you were thankful.

What surprised all of you, was how quickly you eased into a friendship.

Once drinks and snacks were obtained, you sat at the table, talking and laughing as you learned random bits about each other.

Matt felt good whenever he said something that made you laugh, and twice you laughed so hard, you leaned your head on his shoulder so that you wouldn’t fall over laughing.

Seeing this interaction, Foggy shook his head. “Nope. You two are not allowed to flirt. I object.”

“Alright,” you rolled your eyes, “your big spiel for coming over here was that there were… luscious co-ed’s? Was that what you said because I can’t quite remember…”

“Touché, touché,” Foggy got up to go and order a second cup of coffee.

It wasn’t until he was already in line, that you leaned over and looked at his cup. “I’m pretty sure he just wants to talk to either the barista or a girl in line, because his cup is still half full.”

Matt laughed, and it was followed by a moment of silence, but you were both surprised by how comfortable the moment felt. After another moment, Matt spoke up.

“So are you going to study law too?”

“Oh no, I admire what my brother wants to do but I don’t think I’m cut out for that. I’m an art major, mostly focused on visual arts and art history related classes.”

Matt nodded, genuinely interested. “That’s still really cool. What do you plan to do once you graduate?”

“Well the big end goal is to someday run my own art gallery. That’s my dream career. But right after graduation? And possibly even while still in school towards the end, hopefully start out at any gallery that’ll hire me. Maybe even just as a receptionist first to get my foot in the door.”

“You’ll do great whenever you apply.” He smiled, and you couldn’t ignore the butterflies.

You tilted your head slightly. “You sound pretty sure for someone who just met me.”

“When you’re blind, you tend to pick up on other things a lot faster. For example, your voice. You speak with confidence, and that alone will count for a lot. Like… okay, who’s your favorite artist?”

“That’s an easy one. And this may be incredibly cliche because I know a lot of people say him. But it’s Vincent van Gogh.”

“Why?”

Pausing for a moment, you gathered your thoughts. “He led such an hard life. I know he wasn’t the only person in the world to be dealt hardships, but when you look at everything he went through… multiple illnesses, a year in a psychiatric institute, towards the end over a period of ten weeks he produced over 175 paintings and sketches. His works are phenomenal. Beautiful, especially when you look beyond the brush strokes. But he died by his own hand, believing himself to be a failure. I can’t imagine how hard life must’ve been. Ever since I learned, more, I’ve become increasingly fascinated with all of his works. Seeing the beautify he could produce despite struggling so much, it’s proof that sometimes beauty really can become pain.”

“See,” Matt nodded, “you’re passionate about what you love. Even I can see that. And that means a lot, because I’m… you know, blind.”

“Well thank you, can I quote you on that or put you down as a reference on my next job application?”

“Another thing I’ve learned to pick up on. You’re smiling right now, aren’t you?”

“Aw c’mon you’re still flirting?” Foggy sat back down, having wrapped up his conversation.

You glared at your brother. “I’m sorry weren’t you they one over there flirting with a. complete stranger?”

“Not a stranger anymore,” Foggy wiggled his eyebrows. “Got her number and everything.”

“Okay but I can’t flirt with my new friend and your new roommate? And that’s not what we were doing, by the way.”

Matt shook his head, “seems a little hypocritical if you ask me.”

“Exactly!” You scooted your chair closer to Matt’s, leaning your head on his shoulder. Matt immediately picked up on what you were doing, and grabbed your hand, holding it up high so that Foggy could see.

“Okay okay okay you’ve both made your points. You can let go of each other and scoot your chairs apart again thank you very much.”

From then on, it became a running joke between Matt and you. Whenever you were all together, you’d usually mess with Foggy just a little bit.

A close friendship quickly blossomed, and if you all weren’t in class, you were usually hanging out with them.

It wasn’t surprising that you developed a crush on Matt. But he never spoke about dating anyone, and Foggy seemed pretty intent on him and Matt being each other’s wing men, so you never said anything.

Besides, you were just his roommates sister, and clearly he only saw you as a friend. When you thought about it, you decided that you’d rather have him as a good friend instead of confessing your feelings and then having the risk of losing him. So… you simply stayed quiet.

#matt murdock #mattmurdock #daredevil #charlie cox #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x oc #daredevil x you #daredevil x oc #daredevil x reader #marvel #mcu #marvel au #matt murdock au #daredevil au #someone called him moral compass murdock #and now i refuse to call him anything else in my head

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maddy011901 · 2 years ago

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not tonight - lovely & vincent

AO3

You never even had to step foot into your old place to move out. You just had to talk to the property manager, tell a handful of half-truths and wait for Sam and Vincent to bring all your things back to Vincent’s place…well yours and Vincent’s place.

A part of you wanted to go back into that place, to remind yourself that Monsters aren’t real. But you know it’s not true. Monsters are real, and one was inside of your home…he took you, and hurt you, and…

You sigh, looking up from your laptop screen, eyes burning slightly from staring at it. Classes are still over a week away, and finding a therapist for this type of trauma is surprisingly difficult. You’re supposed to see a therapist who specializes in these specific instances, but recourses are spread thin. Or at least thats what Vincent said. Admittedly, you weren’t listening. Another tally of guilt to add to the endless counter.

Probably because of what happened, Vincent has been busy with clan stuff. William is calling for his attention as often as possible. So he has no other choice than to leave you alone most nights. For obvious reasons, they only have clan meetings at night. Typically early, right after the sun goes down. Most of the time Vincent is back before midnight.

But not tonight.

“I probably won’t be back until pretty late, or early?” He chuckles. “So, just go to bed whenever okay? Don’t wait up for me.” Vincent said doing dishes.

You were putting away leftovers. “Awe man, I was hoping we could watch more Vampire Diaries.” You had been tormenting him (and, admittedly yourself) with that show for almost three seasons now.

Vincent laughs. “Oh no,” He feigns upsetment. “I’m devastated.”

You laugh, grabbing the clean dishes to towel dry. “I promise not to watch Shameless without you, Roomie.”

“Thanks, that other bullshit, however, watch as much as you want to your heart's content. No sweat off my back.”

You’re getting ready to take a shower when Vincent knocks on your bathroom door. “Hey?”

“Come in.”

The door cracks open and he’s looking anywhere but you.

“Vince?”

Vincent looks up, “I’m taking off. You ugh, going to bed soon?”

You shrug, “Eh, probably.”

“Well all right, I’ll probably stop by the store on my way back if it’s open.”

“Okay, cool. Have fun.”

He chuckles. “You too.”

After your shower, you get dressed in your favorite pajamas and have every plan of going to bed. But it’s not late yet, and you felt like having a snack. So you make your way downstairs, to the fancy-ass kitchen with the big-ass fridge.

Inside you found the snacks you were looking for, but you also spotted a pack of beer. Beer is good. You grab it and bring everything to the couch. You put on a comfort show and just let yourself be…

It’s always hard when you’re alone. No matter what, where, or when. At the grocery store, sleeping in your bed, watching TV with Vincent, on a phone call with a friend. It comes out of nowhere, strong and fast. Like a vampire.

You almost laugh at the thought. Then you slug back another beer. It’s said to numb the pain, right?

But of course not. Because alcohol is a depressant.

It felt like He was sitting with you on the couch. Just sitting. Haunting. Like the fucking ghost he is.

Before you knew it, you were curled up in a ball on the couch with all the alcohol in the house now sitting heavily in your stomach.

The comfort show didn’t feel so comforting now. It felt patronizing.

Vincent came home later than either of you were expecting. The slamming of the heavy front door, followed by him clearing his throat, then the beeping of the security system, and finally footsteps.

Vincent was expecting you to be asleep, coming into the living room with his dress shoes and jacket in hand.

“Oh,” His face drops in surprise.

You sit up, already upset with the situation. “I thought you weren’t going to be back tonight.”

“Things went differently than I imagined.” He responds, putting his shoes and jacket down. “You were…drinking again.”

You sigh, sitting up. “I’m going to bed.”

Vincent doesn’t say anything, watching as you stand up. But before you can even make one step in the direction of your bedroom, your knees are buckling and your gag reflex is reacting to your full stomach.

Poison taste just as back coming back up.

You were both thankful you make it to the bathroom on time.

Head over the toilet bowl. Another tally of guilt.

Vincent followed, keeping calm while you let the emotions bubble and release.

“Come here.” Vincent drops to his knees in front of you and offers a hug.

You cry. You sob. You scream. But you don’t hug him.

“Lovely, my lovely…” Vincent’s face looks so sad, it’s hard for you to look at him at all. It’s your fault, he’s sad and it’s your fucking fault.

“Why do you care about me?” You ask, not meaning to sound so mean.

“Lovely…”

Fuck him. The thought almost makes you laugh. But fuck him. Fuck him for being so nice, even though you don’t deserve that. Fuck him for caring, because you never earned that. Fuck him for making you feel this way. For making you feel so good and loved and worthy, despite all of the rest of it.

You look up at him with tired, burning eyes. “Do you just feel bad? Do you blame yourself?”

“Do you blame me?” Vincent asks, still smiling sadly. A smile that is both timid and tender. “I don’t blame anyone but Adam.” He reassures.

You look down again, letting the tears fall. “I hate it. I hate him. I…I hate this.” You gesture vaugly. Intoxicated mind mixing like poison with your already shot emotions. “Vince?”

Vincent sits down next to you, grabbing your hand to hold in his own. “Yes, Y/N?”

“I’m sorry.”

Vincent smiles his real, happy smile this time. “You don’t have to apologize. Not to me. Not for this.” Vincent squeezes your hand. “I’m here for you because…because I like you.” You feel a smile creep onto your face, not wanting to look at his eyes. “I like-like you.” Vincent whispers.

You look up at him, at his eyes. Those eyes. No matter what, they’ll always be Vincent’s eyes. No one, nothing could ever take that away from you. “You like-like me?” You whisper. “What about me, do you like-like?”

Vincent lets out a breathy giggle, “Oh well, what isn’t there? I like your laugh, your real laugh, the one you hide.” You roll your eyes, but smile and nod. “I ugh, one of the first things I noticed about you was how you dress, I love your like, style and fashion sense.”

You smile widely, “Awe, thank you.” You gesture to him, “It was the first thing about you that I noticed too.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah…how like, clean you are.”

“Clean?”

You nod, “You dress for the occasion that is…well, your life.”

Vincent chuckles.

For a short, sweet, silent moment in time, the two of you just look at each other.

“I like the jokes you make, and the shows you watch, and the music you listen to.” Vincent says, smiling softly.

Soft. He is so soft. In the best way. In the only way, someone should be.

“I…I don’t expect you to adjust to all of this overnight. And it’s okay that you’re struggling. We all go through this.” Vincent says. “And I’m here. I’m right fucking here.”

You don’t want to cry again, so you put your head on his shoulder. “When does the spinning stop?”

“When you sleep it off.”

You smile, moving your warm forehead to touch the cool skin of his neck. “No, like…my life. The world. When do those things stop spinning out of control?”

Vincent chuckles, “It doesn’t…you just eventually stop getting dizzy.”

“Can ugh, can I sleep in your bed tonight?” You ask, maybe making a long shot.

Vincent just helps you up, holding your hand as you two walk to his room. When you crawl into his bed, he puts the blanket over you.

“I, ugh, I won’t touch you if you don’t want. I’ll just lay with you, okay?”

You nod, watching him go into his walk-in closet and close the door behind him. When he comes back out, in pajamas and ready for bed. You watch him get into bed.

“I’m gonna turn off the light, okay?”

“Okay.” You whisper.

Vincent clicks his nightstand lamp off, leaving the room dark other than a soft yellow glow coming from the hallway.

You lay on your back, actively feeling the alcohol wearing off, like squeezing a sponge to let the water out. Time rolled over and it felt like hours had passed, but in reality, it had only been about ten minutes or so.

“Vin?” You finally whisper.

“Yeah?” He whispers back.

You roll over, facing his back. Carefully and slowly, you move closer to him.

“Lovely?” He whispers as you wrap your arms around him, pressing your forehead to his back. “Are you all right?”

You just squeeze onto him tighter. “I miss you, even when you’re here.” You answer, rubbing your face against the soft fabric of his shirt. “Vincent.” You whisper.

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to say your name. I wanted to hear myself say it.”

Vincent turns to face you, he puts his fingers on your cheek and rubs gently. “Y/N. Lovely. Little One.”

You smile, hugging him close, burying your face in his chest.

#redacted asmr fanfic #redacted asmr #redacted lovely #vincent solaire #redacted vincent #alcohol #drinking #2nd person pov #redacted fanfic #redactedasmr #redacted headcanons

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seita · 4 years ago

Text

— don’t ask | hitoshi shinsou (m.)

pairing: hitoshi shinsou/f!reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut

wordcount: 𝟷𝟹𝟻𝟿𝟶

cw: roommate!au, sugar baby!au

tags: heavy pining, arguments, briefly ft.kaminari, rejection, possessiveness, jealousy, crying, dirty talk, pet names, dom!shinsou, fingering, riding, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, praise (?), marking, creampie, angst with a happy ending.

note: this is a thank you for 5k followers! i can’t believe i hit such a milestone in only like a month and a half! i appreciate the love and support everyone has given me and i promise to put out more quality content going forwarad!

— you thought it was strange a guy your age made such good money by seemingly doing nothing. whenever you would question him about his income, he’d grow defensive. once a month, a left the house for a few days; leaving to perform a mysterious job he didn’t want you to know about.

⇦ back to navigation

When you saw the flier for someone looking for a new roommate, you honestly thought it was one big scam. You assumed that the second you set up a meeting, you would be kidnapped and never seen again.

Being a lowly college kid meant you didn’t have your sea legs in the adult world quite yet. Swamped with studies, horrible at managing your time and your stress levels, you were left a constant mess. So, your solution was to stick to studying for the most part and work part-time so the job didn’t take up too much of your time.

Another genius idea you had was the age-old roommate situation. You started out looking for listings online for preferably Musutafu or Tokyo. Alas, you came up with nothing after a handful of weeks and were intending to give up.

However, a stop by the grocery store changed everything. It was a flyer for someone looking for a roommate in an area of Tokyo that you knew to be pretty pricey.

It was close enough to your college campus so you wouldn’t have to worry about a stupid commute. You thought it was too good to be true as you looked at the information stating you wouldn’t even need to pay rent. You’d simply have to split some bills and buy your own groceries.

The idea of not having to shell out hundreds of dollars a month was appealing on its own; you’d definitely be able to save with a living situation like that.

The logical side of you was weary, however. The entire thing could be a ploy to trick some unsuspecting victim, like yourself, into who knows what.

Still, it probably wouldn’t hurt to contact the person just in case it wasn’t a trick. No harm in checking, you supposed.

Tugging the flyer down from where it was pinned up on the bulletin board, you folded it up and tucked it away in the front pocket of your purse to take care of when you got home from classes.

All of that led you to meeting one Hitoshi Shinsou. He was a tall, tired looking guy around your age. His most prominent feature was the fluffy mess of purple hair that was atop his head. When you first met him, he fixed you with a cold gaze ― his purple irises burning holes into you. And for a second you were sure that you were right on your hunch and you were never going to return home.

Nothing of consequence happened, naturally, and instead he showed you the bedroom you would be using and handed you a key before sitting down on the couch to watch TV. The whole exchange was unlike anything you expected. When you questioned him he simply told you he’d get everything straight for you and that you could begin to move in whenever.

So you did.

As expected of such an expensive apartment, the room you were given was great. It was roomy and nothing like you assumed you would wind up with. Most college students wind up with a shitty roommate, a one-bedroom apartment, and instant ramen for dinner every night.

Instead you got the chillest roommate known to mankind. Shinsou barely even made a peep. Most of the time you found him relaxing in front of the TV watching murder documentaries. You did learn that the poor guy had insomnia and as a result was up almost every night. Sometimes you would catch him snoozing on the couch but that rarely lasted more than 2 or 3 hours before he was up and about once again.

You did learn that the man was a lousy cook so he mostly lived on instant ramen before you moved in. Luckily for him, you enjoyed cooking and decided to be the one to make meals for the two of you. To say Shinsou was appreciative was an understatement.

Simply put, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

And so bloomed an easy friendship with him. Shinsou made it easy to befriend, although he was a quiet guy he was funny and charismatic; the type of guy who probably had a lot of friends.

You lived there for about a month when you noticed the first weird disappearance.

You had been laying in bed, eyes closed as you slowly began to drift off to the white noise of your overhead fan.

What lulled you from your daze was the beep of the alarm at the front door. Sitting up, you listened carefully only to hear a couple beeps and the click of the door shutting.

Frowning, you got out of the bed and wrapped your blanket around your shoulders to shield yourself from the chilled apartment air. Your footsteps were silent as you padded your way to the entryway. You immediately noticed that Shinsou’s shoes were gone from where they should have been sitting beside the front door.

You checked his bedroom to find that he was, indeed, not there. You simply assumed he had gone for a walk or to a convenience store or something since he couldn’t sleep and went back to bed. That was certainly not something uncommon for the insomniac you called a roommate.

When you got up in the morning, however, you noticed he was still gone.

You wandered into the kitchen, intending to open the fridge to start something for breakfast only to find a cute cat-themed sticky note plastered to the front of it. Written in your roommates sloppy handwriting was “I won’t be home for a few days.”

Short and to the point but still causing questions to arise in response.

You had no choice but to carry on. You could text him and question him but you had a feeling you wouldn’t actually get any information.

Two days was how long he was gone for. He turned on the second night, looking as tired as usual.

“I’m home,” he called with a heavy sigh, kicking his shoes off before dropping the heavy duffle bag he carried to the floor.

“Hey,” you greeted over the back of the couch, “I uh...made dinner but I didn’t make any for you. I didn’t know when you’d be home.”

“It’s fine, I already ate anyway,” he hummed, dropping his full weight onto the empty cushion beside you. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

You eyed him and decided to simply not ask about the hickey on his pale skin.

The time ticked past midnight and you stood up, yawning as you stretched, “I’m heading to bed.”

“Alright,” he mumbled, finally stealing the remote from you, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Hey…” you paused at the entrance to the hallway, deciding to chance it, “Where did you go anyway?”

“...To work,” he replied, simply.

His tone held a sense of finality to it, leaving no room for you to inquire exactly what that meant. So, with a final bid, you went to your bedroom.

It was almost like deja vu, laying in bed as you fell asleep only to hear the beeping of that alarm. You sat up and climbed out of bed, intending to catch Shinsou before he was gone but as you reached the living room, you heard the front door click shut and he was gone.

Sighing, you wandered to the kitchen to find another note like you’d seen last time stuck to the fridge.

As you glanced at the calendar on the wall, you realized it was almost exactly a month since the last time he did this ― you remembered because he left on the 23rd and it was currently the 22nd. You could practically feel the dots forming but you had absolutely no way of connecting them.

Deciding to retire to bed, you attempted to sleep but found yourself thinking of Shinsou.

Two months in a row he vanished around the same time, in the middle of the night leaving only a note. Now that you thought about it, he didn’t seem to have a job ― he only said his disappearance was part of his job. But he came back with a hickey.

Sighing, you rolled over and attempted to fall asleep.

Two days later, he came home.

“I’m back,” he grumbled.

Immediately, you noted the aggravated tone to his voice. Sitting up from where you were sprawled out on the couch, you eyed him. Instead of just dropping his duffle bag like he had last time, he took it straight to the laundry room.

As he disappeared into the kitchen, you got up and followed him. He was squatting on the floor, rummaging through the bag as he tossed out pieces of clothing. You leaned on the door jam with your arms folded on your chest. Whether or not he knew you were there, you didn’t know.

“There’s some dinner left for you,” you said softly, watching him pause and look over his shoulder at you.

“I already ate,” he replied, voice cold.

You frowned, standing up straight, “Alright, well…” you sighed, “I’ll wrap it up and put it in the fridge in case you get hungry tonight.”

He didn’t reply but you kept watching him. He moved to fully sit on the floor, stretching his legs out in front of him with a grunt. You noticed that he was separating the clothes into two piles. Closer inspection brought your attention to the price tags attached to the clothes in one pile.

You found yourself wondering where he got those clothes from but you decided not to ask. He seemed to be in a rather sour mood.

He left the new clothes on the floor and dumped the others into the washing machine. With quick efficiency, he started the cycle and stuffed the remaining clothes back into his bag.

You backed up to allow him to leave the laundry room. His shoulders were stiff and his posture was tense. It was a complete 180 from how you usually saw him.

“You um...you alright?” you finally asked when he sat down on the couch.

He barely spared you a glance before propping his feet up on the coffee table, turning the TV on. Realizing you weren’t getting a response, you attempted to brush off the brief anger that flashed through you and instead went to the kitchen to clean everything up.

You didn’t know why he was being so rude to you ― it’s not like you did anything to him. Deciding to just head to your bedroom to study, you shut off the kitchen light and skirted behind the couch to avoid getting in his way of the TV.

He didn’t say a word as you disappeared down the hallway.

As opposed to last time, his ‘work’ seemed to have not gone too well this time around. At least the last time, he was just tired and feeling lazy.

You could still hear the TV going when you put all your stuff away and crawled into bed.

The next morning, you awoke with a sigh. Sitting up, you stretched until you felt your joints pop.

As you wandered out of your bedroom, you heard the shower going, indicating Shinsou was still around. Not that you were expecting any different.

You fixed a quick, simple breakfast for you and Shinsou, hearing the shower turn off as you finished. Wiping your washed hands on your pants, you made your way to the bathroom.

You only got to knock on the door once before it was yanked open. Suddenly, your mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

He stood there, his usual fluffy hair flattened and hanging haphazardly around his face. He wore his usual bored expression despite the fact he was standing there, dripping wet with only a towel around his waist. Immediately, you got a whiff of his body wash and shampoo, making you swallow thickly.

Fuck, he smelled really good. You always thought so, when he sat on the couch beside you, you could always smell that delicious, musky scent of his body wash mixed with the spice of his cologne. But freshly washed with it, you were nearly salivating at the smell.

“Um…” you swallowed thickly, tearing your gaze away from the well built muscles under those baggy clothes he always wore, “B-Breakfast is ready…”

“Okay,” he mumbled, moving to skirt around you.

You sighed, assuming he was still in a shit mood again. Running a hand through your hair, you shook the delectable sight of him fresh out of the shower from your mind. As you went to go back to the kitchen, a large hand grappled around your wrist.

“Hey,” he mumbled. You looked over your shoulder to see him nervously rubbing the back of his neck, a habit you’d seen numerous times before, “I’m sorry...about yesterday.”

“Huh?” you raised a brow, trying to ignore how big his hand was around your wrist.

“I was in a shit mood and I took it out on you,” he explained, “So I’m sorry about that.”

“Oh,” you relaxed slightly and smiled, realizing he was actually in a decent mood today, “It’s okay.”

He gave you his own relieved smile, making your heart lurch in your chest at the sight. It was rare to see any other expression beyond that tired, bored look he always wore. Finally releasing his hold on your wrist, he spoke again, “Let me get dressed and I’ll come eat.”

“Alright,” you nodded, biting your lip as he turned his back to you. As he walked you could see the way the muscles flexed under the skin.

When he finally vanished through his bedroom door, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Shaking your head you moved back to the kitchen intending to stuff your face to forget about how hot Hitoshi Shinsou really was.

Before, you thought he was good looking. Usually dark circles were unbecoming but they looked almost at home on his face. His skin was nearly flawless and looked soft to the touch ― you’d seen the skincare products housed in his cabinet. It was expensive shit too. Seriously, what was the guy's job?

That thought had your mind wandering back to the monthly disappearances.

The chair scraped against the floor as he came back ― wearing a baggy t-shirt and black sweats. He immediately dug in and began to eat.

“So...I have to ask,” he paused, brows coming together in a scowl as you uttered those words.

“Don’t ask,” he mumbled, shaking his head.

“I just wanted to ask...if this is a monthly thing. I’ve only been here for 2 so...I just wanted to make sure,” you clarified, watching his shoulder relax. He seemed extremely defensive over any questions related to his ‘job’, you noted.

“Yeah. Once at the end of the month I leave for two days to work,” he answered simply, obviously avoiding giving any more information that you could feed off of.

He was smart at least.

The sun finally dipped below the horizon and the two of you were sitting on the couch watching TV. He had some documentary on but truthfully you weren’t paying a whole lot of attention to it.

For some reason, your mind kept bringing you back to the sight that morning of Shinsou. As you looked at him sitting beside you, arm tossed casually over the back of the couch as he slouched with his legs spread, you found yourself admiring him.

He had a sharp jaw and pretty lips. A look lower, your eyes landed on his hands ― long, pretty fingers with prominent veins beneath the pale skin.

Suddenly, his sharp gaze cut from the TV to you and you found yourself locked in a gaze with him for a split second before you broke away to look at the TV once more. In your peripheral, you swear you saw a smirk crossing his face.

But he didn’t comment and for that, you were thankful.

You bid him goodnight and as usual, he stayed up. You began to wonder if the man even tried to sleep anymore.

You stepped into the bathroom, warning your roommate that you were taking a shower. He shouted back a simple ‘okay’ before you shut the door.

You stepped under the stream of water after stripping, the steam of the hot water filling the bathroom and relaxing your muscles. You tipped your head back to wet your hair, humming to yourself.

You eyed Shinsou’s body wash sitting in the purple caddy handing on a hook on the wall. It brought you back to how nice he smelled when he was close to you. When you could feel his body warmth radiating off of him. You would look at him, his shoulders broad and his body warm and inviting. It was nearly impossible to resist the urge to cuddle yourself into his chest.

You wondered what it would be like to lay against him, his arms wrapped around you as he softly stroked your skin. Maybe he would press a soft kiss to your forehead ― the idea alone made you melt.

Realizing you had lost yourself in thought, you hurried to finish your shower and get to bed.

You fell asleep with Shinsou on your mind that night.

Shinsou’s third monthly work time finally rolled around once again. This time, you stayed up late so Shinsou had no choice but the interact before he left. You were hoping to maybe get more hints about what it is he did.

He shut his bedroom door, hoisting his duffle bag over his shoulder with a grunt. You were surprised to see him in actual clothes ― rather nice ones as well.

His jeans fit him perfectly and the button down shirt he wore was tucked in, showing off his lean figure. The belt buckle on his jeans indicated it was name brand and you found yourself wondering how much his job even paid.

“I’ll be home same as usual,” he mumbled, bending down to slide his shoes on at the door. He looked so good doing just a simple task and you found your heart racing in your chest. His shoulders were accented so well by his shirt. The sleeves were rolled up halfway on his forearms and there was an expensive looking watch on one of his wrists.

Butterflies erupted in your stomach as he opened the door ― suddenly finding that you didn’t want him to leave.

“Um…” you called, making him pause in the open door, looking over his shoulder with a brow raised in question, “You...uh…” you struggled to find something to say but he waited patiently for you to form your next words, “Have a nice time...come home soon.”

Your heart thudded painfully as you watched his gaze soften, a smile forming on his lips as he nodded, “I’ll see you later, ______.”

Your ears were ringing as he shut the door, the sound of your name coming from his lips echoing in your head. You sunk down onto the couch, hand on your chest as you came to a startling realization.

You had a crush on your roommate.

Living with Shinsou after coming to terms that you had a crush on him was...difficult to say the least. Simple things he did that you used to pay no mind to, you now found yourself getting jittery at the sight.

Like the way he rubbed his eyes with a fist when he woke up from a nap on the couch, a sound you could only describe as a whine coming from his throat as he sat up.

The day your kitchen sink stopped working and he had to fix it was one you wouldn’t ever forget. He was leaning beneath the sink, in the cabinet on his back as he fiddled with some tools on the pipes. His white t-shirt became see-through as he sweat from the hard work, his biceps flexing with every movement he made. His shirt rode up a bit over his stomach, exposing his abs that moved and rippled with every movement. His sweats were riding low on his hips, exposing that delicious v-line and happy trail that vanished beneath the band.

The worst part was the way you could see everything in those gray sweatpants he wore. You were pretty sure he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

You had to leave the room and hide in your bedroom with the window open until he finally finished fixing it.

You definitely didn’t let your hand slide down your panties to the mental image of him that night.

Despite living together for nearly four months, you knew close to nothing personal about Shinsou. Putting aside his weird, shady two-day job once a month, you didn’t have anything else to go off of on who he was.

He was a quiet guy who liked documentaries, video games, and had insomnia. He really loved to eat breakfast foods and cats. Although you hadn’t been in his room even once, only had a couple peeks inside, you knew he owned some cat-themed stationary at the very least.

Despite his cold appearance, he was actually quite kindhearted and gentle but seemed to have no desire to show it unless necessary. One time, you cut your finger while cooking and you swear you’d never seen him run faster to get a bandaid from the bathroom ― one with a cat on it, no less.

You still remember the feeling of his hand holding yours and how close his face was as he inspected the cut. You could have leaned in and kissed him so easily then.

And god was that tempting.

So lost in your thoughts, you didn’t realize the glass you were holding in your hand slipped free until it shattered in a million pieces across the linoleum floor. You gasped, startled as you looked around for a way to escape but a single step in an area you thought was clear brought a cry from your lips as you stepped on the tiny shards.

You heard a loud thump from the living room where he had been playing a video game before the thundering footsteps raced into the kitchen. Shinsou’s eyes were wide, like he was terrified of what he would find.

“Don’t move,” he snapped, noting the way you leaned against the counter to take your injured foot off of the ground. He opened the storage cabinet and pulled out the broom and dust pan.

It took only a few minutes for him to clean it up enough to get to you safely on his own bare feet. Instead of you limping your way to the living room however, you found yourself swept off your feet.

Your heart raced so hard, you could hear it pounding in your ears. You were cradled against his chest, so warm and firm with his strong arms beneath your knees and shoulders. His heavenly scent surrounded you ― more intense than you’d even smelt it before. As you finally got a close look, you took notice of how his long lashes framed his pretty eyes.

All too soon, you were placed on the couch and he was disappearing down the hall with quick efficiency. You were still stunned from being in his arms that you barely noticed he had returned until he was on his knees in front of you.

Immediately, your cheeks bloomed hot with a blush. The image of him on his knees like that immediately sent your mind to a wicked place.

Luckily your dirty mind was stopped in its tracks when he began pulling glass from your foot.

You gasped in pain, attempting to pull away on reflex but he held strong, sharp gaze burning holes into you.

“Sit still,” he growled, sending a shiver down your spine.

His voice was so low, so commanding that you found yourself immediately doing what he said. You always were weak to a dominant man.

Soon enough, your foot was cleaned and he deemed that the bleeding had stopped.

“It’ll probably hurt like hell for a little while when you walk on it,” he warned, packing the first aid away.

“Thanks Hitoshi,” you smiled, earning a soft nod of acknowledgement from the man.

The memory of being in his arms, even for that brief moment, was imprinted in your mind. As you laid in bed, you thought about it. It made your stomach flutter in excitement as you fell asleep.

The fourth monthly job for Shinsou came and unfortunately, you missed him leaving. You had stayed up studying and as a result fell asleep earlier than usual. When you woke up he was already gone and you were left with a painful throb in your heart.

You missed him.

As you lazed on the couch, you found your mind wandering to him again. Like always. It was like your mind was cursed.

You wondered if he thought about you at all. The idea made you feel giddy and you had to bite back a smile. You felt like a silly schoolgirl with your crush ― the way he made your stomach flutter, your heart race, and your cheeks burn was getting ridiculous. It wasn’t like you could confess, he hadn’t given much of a hint that he even thought of you as a friend. Plus, you weren’t sure if you were willing to give up the killer apartment and perfect roommate gig you currently had with a foolish confession.

You heaved a sigh, sitting up with a new idea in mind.

A way that you could learn more about him.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the...most noble means.

Standing outside his bedroom door, you bit your lip. It felt wrong to go into his room without permission. It wasn’t like he went into your room ― as far as you knew, who knows what he did while you were at school or working.

The metal doorknob was cold in your palm as you turned it and pushed it open with a soft click.

You’d seen his room in quick glances before when he opened it but you’d never gotten to fully inspect it. He had a large bed that took up the most space in his room. Situated on a dresser at the end of the bed was a TV, a Playstation set up beside it. Against the opposite wall was a desk with a gaming computer setup and a red and black gaming chair pushed in neatly.

There were a few articles of clothing littering the floor around his laundry basket and his closet was partly open to reveal his primarily monochromatic wardrobe choices.

Walking into the bedroom, you immediately got a whiff of his cologne, making you smile at the addictive scent. You took a seat on the edge of his bed, the black comforter incredibly soft beneath your hands.

You leaned forward and opened his nightstand drawer, finding nothing too interesting ― a picture of him standing with a smiling boy with crazy green hair, a pink-skinned girl, and a beaming red-haired guy.

You hadn’t really given it much thought ― that he had friends. He didn’t really talk about anyone, in fact you never heard him mention anyone in his life besides his mom a few times. You did note that he texted on his phone quite a lot and sometimes you could hear him laughing and cursing from his bedroom as he played a video game. You wondered what his friends' names were, what they were like ― what it was like to be friends with Shinsou.

What you wouldn’t give to be someone...important in his life.

Sighing, you closed the drawer and moved to his dresser. Your own thoughts caused your heart to ache and you tried to brush it off by looking through the drawers for something interesting.

Fortunately, you got what you wished for.

The last drawer to the right contained a little black metal box buried beneath some clothes. You pulled it out and took a seat on the floor, pressing the button to open it. It popped open and you gaped at what you saw.

It was filled with money. More money than you’d probably ever seen in your whole life. The bills were wrapped together with rubber bands ― there had to be thousands of dollars in even a single stack. As you pulled out the bundles, you found that there were things located beneath them.

Jewels; all types. Diamond rings, necklaces, bracelets, ruby and emerald gems decorating them. You pulled out a ring and held it up, watching as he gleamed under the light.

You tucked everything back inside the box and hid it back the way you found it, shutting the drawer before standing up.

You had no idea what to think as you shut his door once again, moving to your own room. How could he have all that money hidden away like that? It was certainly shady.

Perhaps it was counterfeit? Or maybe he stole it!

And what about those jewels? Did he steal those too? Why were they hidden instead of sold off somewhere?

You had so many questions and absolutely no answers.

Suddenly you were regretting going snooping in his room.

The fifth month of living with him would have to be where things started to go downhill.

He came home from his weekend away, tired and grumpy, just wanting a relaxing shower. However, you hadn’t realized he was home so in your tired, sleep-filled daze you stumbled to the bathroom with the urgent need to pee.

You pushed the bathroom door open and halted in your tracks, heart stopping in your chest at the sight of shirtless Shinsou.

He had his back to you, displaying the angry red scratch marks that raked down the pale skin of his back, making them stand out even more. He realized you were there and spun around, eyes narrowed in a glare. With his chest in view, you could see all the hickeys and bites that trailed down his body, disappearing in the hem of his jeans that he had yet to shed.

“Get the hell out,” he snapped, ripping the door from your hand before slamming in shut in your face.

You stared at the wood for several, long seconds, stunned. You heard the shower start and snapped out of your daze. Forgetting your once desperate need to pee, you trudged back to your bedroom and quietly shut the door.

You weren’t a fool ― you knew exactly what those marks meant. You crawled under the covers and found yourself wondering what kind of woman got Hitoshi Shinsou’s attention enough to get him into bed.

And what did she have that you didn’t?

Truth be told, you couldn’t even imagine him as the type to sleep around. He wasn’t exactly sociable and he rarely seemed to go out of his way to interact even with his friends.

You could hear the shower turn off and you were suddenly reminded of the way he slammed the door in your face ― the ache from realizing he’d been with someone else only exacerbated by the knife of his shouting at you.

You closed your eyes and attempted to sleep, ignoring the sting behind your eyes.

The next morning, you found yourself not wanting to get out of bed. You could hear Shinsou shuffling around the house, doing god knows what. You heard him walk down the hallway, heart freezing as he stopped in front of your bedroom door.

You closed your eyes, willing him to go away.

Luck was not on your side, however, as he knocked thrice on your door. It was loud enough that you knew you wouldn’t be able to feign sleeping through it.

You sighed and crawled out of bed and trudged over to the door, pulling it open just a bit to get a look at him.

He had his head down, hand clasped around the nape of his neck with his other hand shoved in his pocket. He looked up when he heard the door open, brows drawn together as he gazed at you partially hiding behind the door.

“I uh…” he cleared his throat, “I went out and picked us up some breakfast.”

“Oh…” you shifted on your feet awkwardly, nodding your head, “Thanks...I’ll eat later.”

You were about to close the door, desperate to escape the burning in your eyes as you remembered last night. Before it could close, however, he shoved his hand in the crack. You paused, not wanting to crush his hand in the door. You let him push it open to show more of you ― clad in shorts and an oversized t-shirt that you loved to sleep in. Thankfully the shirt was big enough that he wouldn’t be able to tell you weren’t wearing a bra.

“I have to apologize,” he grunted, meeting your gaze, “I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that last night. I was just ticked off…” he trailed off.

You bit your lip, “I uh...I didn’t know you were home...so that’s why I just...walked in…”

He shook his head, “No I understand, really. Y-You just surprised me and I reacted. I really need to stop taking my shit out on you, I’ll work on that, really. I shouldn’t have slammed the door like that either. It was a shit night but it wasn’t your fault you didn’t know I came home.”

“I-It’s alright, Hitoshi, really,” you smiled, though it faltered a bit at the memory of those scratches and hickeys.

“I...hope you’re not hiding away in here because I upset you,” he muttered, making you frown once more.

“What do you mean?” you questioned.

He bit his lip, looking away awkwardly, “you’re usually up around 10 and it’s...getting close to noon. You don’t do that normally so...I can only think you were trying to avoid me and that’s the last thing I want. This is your home too and I never want you to feel like you can’t be comfortable here.”

You gaped at him, processing what he was telling you. First, he paid close enough attention to you that he knew what time you got up ― that thought made happiness bloom in your chest and second, that was probably the most you’d heard him say in one sitting.

“It’s okay now, Hitoshi,” you smiled, “let me get dressed and I’ll be out to eat, okay?”

He smiled, making your cheeks burn at the sight as he nodded, turning away from you to move back to the living room. You closed your door and sighed.

It was crazy how just a simple smile from him had your heart fluttering. However, it was quickly halted by the memory that he had someone ― maybe it was a girlfriend. That made your chest ache and you bit your lip to halt those negative feelings as you stripped and changed out of your pajamas.

You had no idea how you were going to get past the painful clench in your chest every time you looked at him now.

Month six rolled around and nothing very interesting happened. Shinsou moved his playstation into the living room so the two of you could play some games together. It was a fun bonding experience and you got to watch the way his eyes would light up whenever he beat you. The sound of his laugh still rang in your ears and you couldn’t help but smile every time you thought back to that pretty smile of his.

It became a weekly thing for the two of you, every Friday night you would sit down on the couch together and play into the early hours of the morning. You got to know more about Shinsou than you had ever before.

Sometimes he would jerk his body and brush against yours, sending goosebumps across your skin. He was always so warm and inviting ― just having him near you sent your poor heart into palpitations.

You almost forgot about what happened the previous month when he came back ― those hickeys and scratches on his back finally having been cast out of your mind.

Your heart did ache when you bid him goodbye the night he left again, wondering if he was going to see her or not.

The seventh month was when that already precariously balanced life came crumbling down all at once.

Shinsou was in the shower as you played on his Playstation, sitting in front of the TV with a frown on your face. You could hear the shower running and in the back of your mind you pictured what he might look like ― water running down his flawless skin, his hands caressing. You felt an almost pitiful clench in your core at the mental image.

Your perversions were cut short by the sharp ring of the doorbell. You paused your game and groaned as you stood up, your knees popping from being sat in the same position for too long. Unlocking the door, you pulled it open and paused.

A woman stood on the other side of the door, a well-fitting black dress and fur coat wrapped around her shoulders. Her ears, neck, and wrists were adorned with sparkling jewelry and you could see the red bottoms of her expensive heels. She wore vibrant red lipstick across pretty, smiling lips as she acknowledged you. However, you could see the cold gleam in her eyes that made the smile all too fake.

“Can I help you?” you asked, leaning against the door jam.

She hummed, tucking some hair behind her ear with perfectly manicured nails, “Is Toshi here?”

“Toshi?” you raised a brow at the nickname, “He’s in the shower. What do you need?”

“Just to talk,” she replied, stepping forward like she wanted to come in. When you didn’t budge she raised a brow, “You don’t mind if I come in, right? I’m sure Toshi would love to see me.”

“Uh…” you didn’t get a chance to reply as she brushed past you, her shoes clicking on the hardwood floor as she made her way towards the living room, “Sure...come on in…” you whispered sarcastically, rolling your eyes as you shut the door.

You could hear the shower was turned off, indicating Shinsou would be returning in a minute. You looked at the woman as she glanced around the apartment, feeling a sting of jealousy burning within you.

Was she the girl he was dating?

“So...how do you know Hitoshi?” you asked, making her smile.

“I’m his girlfriend, of course!” she beamed, voice far too peppy for your liking.

The words sent an arrow through your heart and you looked away with a hum, ignoring the need to flee to your room and cry into the pillow like a stupid middle schooler.

As if on cue, the bathroom door opened and Shinsou strolled down the hall, towling his hair as he moved.

Any other time you would have drooled over the sight of a shirtless Shinsou, gym shorts hanging loose on his hips as he walked.

“Uh...Hitoshi…” you mumbled, getting his attention.

He looked up from beneath his towel, meeting your gaze before his eyes moved to the woman beside you. Immediately his eyes went wide and he stood up straight.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he snapped, startling you with how aggressive those words came out.

The girl didn’t seem too affected, merely pouting as she spoke, “I wanted to talk to you.”

“You have no business being here,” he growled, jerking his head to the door, “Get out.”

“No!” she argued, walking right up to him, “I deserve answers before you throw me away like trash, Hitoshi!”

“I don’t owe you anything,” he replied coldly, breezing past both you and her to go to the kitchen. She followed him but you remained in the kitchen, listening as they argued.

“Why won’t you see me anymore?!” she cried, petulantly stomping her heeled foot.

“Because you got too damn attached,” he spat, opening the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water before walking into the living room again.

“Attached?!” she gasped, grabbing his arm to force him to look at her, “I have given you so much. How can you just break it off without a real reason! Come on, Toshi, just...be with me, you won’t have to work anymore.”

He tensed, glancing over at you at the mention of her job, jaw set, “Just get out, Kana.”

She looked over at you, a sly smile forming on her lips, “She doesn’t know what you do, does she? Is that why you’re avoiding this?”

He didn’t reply, simply glared at her. Kana scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest, “After all I spent on you, you have no right to just run away. You know I can treat you better than anyone else can, Hitoshi. You’re making a mistake.”

“I have plenty of other clients lined up, Kana,” he shot back, making her frown. He chuckled at the sign of weakness she showed, “What? Did you think you were the only one? No, sweetheart, I have plenty of girls waiting to spend even just one night with me. You’re not special. You’re certainly not the highest paying one either. There’s nothing of importance tying me to you. You have nothing special to offer. You got too attached, starting having feelings for me...you know it would never work with my job. So just leave before you get your feelings hurt.”

Both of you were stunned silent. You because you had never heard him speak so coldly and harshly to someone before ― even when he was having a bad day and accidentally took it out on you. Her because the words he spat out with such venom wrecked her pride and made her burn with anger.

She clenched her fists and snapped her head towards you, “Best not to get close to this prick,” she warned, her voice watery with unshed tears, “A man who makes money being a sugar baby isn’t one you want to get attached too.”

With those last words, she stormed out. The slam of the door made both you and Shinsou flinch. The silence that followed was even more deafening, however.

Shinsou cursed under his breath, running a hand through his half-dry hair.

“So...she wasn’t your girlfriend?” you asked, making him look over at you.

He was quiet for a second before chuckling under his breath, “You learn what my job is and that's the first thing you wonder?”

“Well!” you defended yourself quickly, “She introduced herself as your girlfriend!”

He shook his head, moving around the couch to take a seat, “No, she was just...a client I spent time with for a while. She started catching feelings so I cut it off and referred her to a friend of mine. Apparently...she didn’t like that.”

“How’d she know you lived here?” you asked, sitting beside him.

He shrugged, “She could have looked through my shit at some point, I suppose.”

You hummed, not wanting to push him to reveal more than he wanted to. After all, it wasn’t even his choice to expose his line of work anyway.

Well, at least you had answers on why he had all those expensive clothes, cash, and jewelry. It was good to know he wasn’t some type of shady thief in the end.

“It’s...just a really bad idea to get involved with clients,” he explained suddenly, “It’s not a relationship that’s built up on anything real. Having to pay for the company of someone is not a good foundation,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair again before looking at you, “I hope you...don’t think differently of me because of my job.”

You shrugged your shoulders and shook your head, “It’s not really my place to judge you, you know?”

“Thanks,” he smiled, “It’s not really something that’s as bad as people think. It gets a bad rep for having sex for money and shit but...truthfully majority of my job is just...being company to rich women. Sometimes they want to take me around to some fancy parties to show me off or go on dates because they’re lonely. Sex isn’t the majority of what I do. I mean...I will but...it’s not the most common occurrence.”

Once again, the vision of those hickeys and sex-scratches crossed your mind and you found yourself wondering what kind of woman gave him those. At least you could be assured he wasn’t going out to see his girlfriend when he went to work ― they were strictly clients.

Which meant...he was probably single.

Your heart stuttered in your chest at the hopeful idea.

“How about I order some take out?” you asked, standing up to retrieve your phone.

“Get some pizza,” he called as you disappeared down the hall.

After his occupation was revealed to you, things began to look up. He became more open and carefree around you ― as he no longer had a big secret to hide. He didn’t really talk about his work but he wasn’t hiding it from you either.

You decided not to ask too many questions, knowing you’d only burn up in jealousy at the idea. You knew you didn’t really have a right to be jealous since you weren’t his girlfriend or anything but you couldn’t help it either.

The peaceful feeling didn’t last long, however. Once the fire started burning, it had no other choice but to rage.

“You should really just tell him, _____!” your friend, Uraraka whined, head against the table.

“It’s seriously painful,” Momo agreed, “All this pining is making me sick.”

“Oh real nice,” you rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your coffee.

It felt nice to hang around with your friends for once ― it wasn’t something you frequently got the opportunity to do.

Just as Uraraka was about to open her mouth and reply, a looming shadow dropped over the table. You all looked over to find the familiar blonde hair and wide grin.

“Kaminari,” you greeted with a smile.

“Hey _____,” he waved before tucking his hands in his pockets, “Listen, I’ve been wanting to ask for a while but...would you like to go out with me sometime?”

The question left you stunned.

You weren’t super close to Denki Kaminari, you shared a few general studies classes. He was a goofy, excitable guy who always seemed to know how to light up a room. Everyone around him was always in a good mood, in general he was just a very positive person.

Not just that but he wasn’t too bad to look at either; with his pretty, wide eyes and sharp jawline. The black lightning bolt streak through his hair just made him look even more charming.

But you hesitated, your mind drifting to Shinsou.

Sighing, you bit your lip, “Can I get back to you on that?”

He smiled, nodding his head, obviously relieved you didn’t tell him a flat out no, “No problem. I’ll see you later!”

Once he was gone, a sharp smack landed on your back making you cry out.

“Why didn’t you give him an answer?!” Momo cried.

“Denki’s a great guy, _____! You should do it!” Uraraka added.

You shrugged, “It’s just…”

“If you’re holding out hoping something will miraculously happen with stupid Shinsou, it’s a stupid idea,” Momo said, making you pout that she had read you so easily.

“Just tell him how you feel, _____,” Uraraka sighed, “If he rejects you, you can accept Denki’s date!”

You sighed but didn’t reply. Your two friends shared a look before changing the topic, drawing the attention away from your hopeless crush on your roommate.

When you got home, you were filled with a sense of urgency. Shinsou wasn’t in the living room so you went to his bedroom, knocking a few times on the door before he opened it.

“Hey,” he greeted, a tired smile on his face, “Welcome home.”

“Hitoshi,” you swallowed thickly, steeling yourself.

He frowned, “What is it?”

“I need to talk to you,” you breathed.

“Okay,” he stepped aside, waving you into his room.

You hesitated for a second, realizing that there would be no turning back once you walked inside. The door shutting behind you echoed in your head. He moved past you to take a seat on his computer chair. The screen was lit up behind him, indicating he had probably been playing something before you interrupted.

“I’m all ears,” he said softly, relaxing back in his seat.

“I…” you shifted on your feet, biting your lip, “I got asked out on a date.”

He raised his brow, cocking his head to the side. Part of you had hoped you would see some hint of jealousy from him at your words but his face remained as steely as ever.

“And...you want advice or something?” he chuckled.

You shook your head, “I want to know if…” you took in a deep breath, “If you like me before I accept him.”

He was silent for what felt like an eternity, just staring at you. Shinsou was always the type of man to think before he spoke, running through all possibilities before opening his mouth. His throat moved as he swallowed, a soft sigh coming from his nose.

“You...have a crush on me, or something?” he asked, making you deflate slightly.

“Yes,” you admitted, “And...if you don’t like me back then I’ll accept this boy’s date. There’s no reason for me to wait around and hope you’ll like me back when I could be out meeting someone new.”

He nodded his head, quieting once more. You watched as he stood up, taking a few steps towards you, “_____…” you heart clenched at his tone, knowing what was coming, “My job...it doesn’t leave me room for personal relationships.”

Despite how much you prepared yourself for it, hearing him reject you hurt. You nodded, forcing yourself not to cry as you backed up towards the door.

“Alright then,” you gave him a tight-lipped smile, turning your back to him, “I guess I’ll accept Kaminari’s date then.”

As you walked out his door, you didn’t see the pained look in his eyes. Your name lingered on the tip of his tongue but he didn’t dare speak out. The click of his door was deafening in his ears and when you were gone he sighed, hanging his head as he sat on the edge of his bed, feeling like an idiot.

The next day, you hunted down Kaminari, telling him you’d love to go out on a date with him. He was thrilled, going off excitedly about how he couldn’t believe you actually accepted him and that he would make it the best date ever.

And truth be told, the date was a blast. You had told him you’d never been to laser tag before and immediately he said that was exactly what you do then. The sound of Denki’s laughter still echoed in your ears as he lost to you, accusing you of cheating in a lighthearted tone.

You didn’t see much of Shinsou after you started seeing Kaminari. Although it was casual, you spent a good bit of time hanging out with him ― he began eating with you, Uraraka, and Momo on campus and the two of you texted often.

It seemed that Shinsou wasn’t making a big effort to hang out with you anyway. As much as that hurt, you knew it was for the best. It spared you a lot of hurt and him of the awkwardness of living with a girl who had a crush on him.

It was fair enough, you mused.

But when you laid in bed at night, your phone on silent and the faint sound of Shinsou’s voice floating through the walls as he gamed with his friends, you felt the now familiar tug on your heart. You longed to be with him.

But you knew it was pointless now.

You’d been seeing Kaminari for a month when he showed up on your doorstep to pick you up. Usually you would leave and meet him but due to the rain, he opted to pick you up and save you both from the hassle.

You were in your room, putting the final touches on your makeup when the doorbell rang. Before you could react, you heard Shinsou open the door.

You quickly grabbed your purse, tossing the strap over your shoulder as you opened your door. You could hear their voices carrying down the hallway.

“Holy shit!” Kaminari laughed, “What a small world ― it’s been a while Hitoshi!”

“Denki,” Shinsou greeted curtly.

“You ______’s roommate?” Kaminari asked, tucking his hands in his pockets as he waited for you, “She’s talked about you a bit. Didn’t know it was you, though, man!”

“Denki―” Shinsou was about to say something more but was cut off by your entrance.

“Hey there babydoll!” Kaminari greeted with a grin, holding his hand out for you to take, “See you later, Hitoshi!”

Shinsou didn’t respond as he watched the two of you leave, his jaw set tight as he held himself back from calling out.

You felt like you’d never been more angry in your life as you stormed home. Things had been going so well between you and Kaminari, you felt like you could genuinely start to like him. You enjoyed his company and began to think less and less about one purple haired roommate of yours.

You slammed the front door, startling poor Shinsou on the couch. He turned around, eyes wide at the blazing anger visible on your face.

“What the hell is your problem, Shinsou?!” you cried, kicking your shoes off and tossing your backpack to the floor.

“Huh?” he raised a brow dumbly, only fanning the flames of your rage.

“You…” you heaved, fists clenched, “Who do you think you are?! Telling Denki to break it off with me?!”

Realization quickly flashed over his face and he groaned, standing up, “I didn’t tell him to break up with you!” he argued. You opened your mouth to retort but he put his hand up to stop you, “I just told him to think it over. Do you know how we know each other, ____?”

“No,” you shook your head, tossing your hands up, “What does it matter? You still have no right to interfere in my relationship!”

“He’s in the same line of work I am!” he snapped, rounding the couch, “He does the same exact thing I do.”

You paused, letting the information sink in, “Why does that matter?”

He shook his head, “Do you really want to be with a guy who spends his nights in bed with women, _____? That’s not exactly the easiest job to trust a man with.”

You didn’t have a retort, “I thought...the majority of the job was just being a companion.”

Shinsou sighed, taking a seat once more, “It really depends on the guy. Denki is pretty popular because he loves to get his dick wet.”

You thought those words would make you feel jealous. The idea of the guy you were seeing fucking other women should make you feel something but instead...you felt almost relieved. Still, it didn’t simmer the anger you felt towards Shinsou at putting his nose in your business.

“You should have come to me and told me your concerns, Shinsou,” you snapped, narrowing your eyes at him, “Instead of going behind my back for me to be dumped.”

“You’re right,” he admitted, biting his lip, “I just...wanted to see if Denki was still the same as he was when I last knew him. It’s just how it happened. I am sorry.”

Sensing his apology was sincere, you relaxed and nodded, “I’ve got to study.”

With that, you hid away in your room.

You couldn’t deny you still felt a bit ticked off with him but at least you were able to move past it. You realized you weren’t truly attached to Kaminari, you were just using him to shove your feelings for Shinsou away ― a pretty dick move on your part. So you were relieved to be out of the relationship.

Unfortunately, this left you with Shinsou once more. Where he once was pushed from your mind for the most part, he now resumed plaguing your thoughts.

You couldn’t deny how tired you were.

It was emotionally exhausting feeling your heart race at the mere sight of him only for it to ache when you remembered there was no chance in hell he’d even give you the time of day.

Things reached a head when he returned from work. Eleven months in and all the negative feelings and tension finally culminated.

“Hey Shinsou,” you called, finding him leaning against the kitchen island with a cereal bar in his hands.

He looked over his shoulder, an unusually cold look in his eyes as he regarded you, “What?”

You tried not to flinch at the tone, frowning, “Is everything okay?”

“Fine,” he snapped and you sighed, realizing he was in one of his moods, “What do you want?”

“I...nevermind,” you shrugged, “We’ll talk when you’re in a better mood.”

You hadn’t meant for it to be something to piss him off further. You truly meant that you would wait until he felt better to talk. For some reason, however, he took it wrong.

“The hell is that supposed to mean?” he growled, pushing himself off of the counter to storm up to you.

“Nothing!” you defended, “I don’t want to get into anything with you, okay?”

“If you have something to say then just say it!” he snapped, making you shake your head.

“No!” you argued, turning on your heel to storm into your bedroom.

Before you could get very far, however, a tight hand was wrapped around your elbow, pulling you back.

“Don’t fucking run from me!” his tone sent shivers down your spine, the angry fire burning in his eyes finally snapping something inside you.

“I am so fucking tired of this!” you tore your arm from his grip, not missing the frustrated grunt he gave in response, “This shit isn’t working anymore, Shinsou! You clearly don’t know what the hell to do with yourself; you come home from working and you’re in a shit mood and you take it out on me. Then you act like everything is perfectly fine. You know how I feel about you, so you can’t even pretend that doesn’t have anything to do with your behavior. In fact, I know it affects you because why else would you have convinced the only guy I’ve seen in the past like two years to dump me like trash! All over this stupid fucking job of yours. I don’t want to deal with the shitty way you make me feel, Shinsou!”

“So?” he snapped, teeth bared.

“So I’m gonna fucking move out!” you threatened, standing nose to nose with him.

His eyes narrowed and he let out a humourless laugh, “Fine! The sooner the better!”

With those last words he stormed past you, slamming his bedroom door with deafening finality.

You were left alone in the living room, fists clenched as tears you’d held back so long finally broke free.

A stupid purple haired idiot was not worth being hurt so much over. That you were sure of.

It’s not like he even cared, apparently.

With that thought finally pushing you into action, you returned to your own room to begin looking for new housing.

In all your time living with him, the longest you went without seeing him was two days. Once a month when he went to work ― that was the only length of time you didn’t see him every day.

Now, however, the two of you were avoiding each other like the plague. You had been busting your ass finding a new apartment, going to school, and working as usual. Shinsou had been hiding in his room the majority of the time.

You even stopped cooking.

Part of you wondered if he even noticed. Deep down, however, you knew he probably didn’t care.

He would just get a new roommate and go on like usual. Like you had never existed.

At least you’d be able to get over him then.

It took a month before you found a decent place. It was nowhere near as nice as your current one but there was nothing you could do about that. Your situation with Shinsou was unique and you knew you were never gonna have an opportunity like this again.

You came to terms with that.

Wandering out of your room, you were surprised to find him sitting on the couch. His nose was buried in his phone but the TV played his usual shows.

“Hey,” you greeted, keeping your voice even. He grunted in response, not looking up, “I found a place. I’ll be out by the end of the week.”

He didn’t say anything and you sighed, feeling your eyes burn.

How you wished he would say something to stop you ― to show you that the past year wasn’t a huge waste of time and that you really meant nothing to him. You felt you could have at least called yourselves friends but...apparently that was one sided.

The thought hurt so you escaped to your room once again to hide.

The night before your move, you were laying in bed playing a game on your phone. Laying on your back, you held the screen up and tapped your thumbs aggressive against the screen. Your momentum was lost by three sharp knocks on your door. You cried out as your phone fell from your hand and dropped on your face.

“Shit,” you groaned, tossing it away and getting up from bed.

Opening the door, your words caught in your throat at the sight of Hitoshi Shinsou’s sleepy gaze fixated on you. His hand was clasped around the nape of his neck and he was looking away nervously.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” his head snapped towards you, eyes wide before you realized how that sounded, “I-I mean I thought you were supposed to be gone! You know...to work.”

His shoulders relaxed slightly and he shrugged, “I cancelled. I...wanted...no, I needed to talk to you. Can I come in?”

You stood there for a few seconds, thinking it over before stepping aside to let him in. He gave you a tight lipped smile before you shut the door behind him. Turning to face him, you took note of the way his free hand was shoved into his sweats pocket. The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

“What...what did you need?” you asked, sitting on the edge of your bed.

He remained standing, obviously thinking over his words carefully. His back was to you, his figure hunched slightly in his usual posture. But you couldn’t miss the tension his form held.

“I never intended this to become a long-term thing,” for a moment you thought he was talking about your living arrangement but before you could refute, he was turning to you, “This sugar baby thing, that is. I had a friend who did it and made some good money from it and eventually I got into the scene and realized just how good it could pay. It’s been like 2 or 3 years now since I’ve been at it.”

He dropped his hand from around his neck, beginning to pace around your room to gaze at your various knick-knacks. He paused at the few boxes you had packed up already, a frown marring his face.

“I make even more money by selling the presents I get. Sometimes the clients will give me jewelry or clothes, I always sell them,” he sighed, picking up a snow globe that sat atop your dresser, shaking it mindlessly to watch the fake snow float around the glass.

“Why are you telling me this?” you asked softly.

“The truth is, I hate the majority of my job,” he confessed, ignoring your question, “Most of the people are pretentious assholes who think they’re better than me because they pay me. I don’t mind being arm candy, it doesn’t really bother me. And not gonna lie sometimes the sex is bomb,” he chuckled almost lifelessly and you ignored the pang in your chest at his words, “But the position I’m in forces me to basically do whatever they want me to. Naturally, I have limits and shit but if they want to dominate me I let them and that sucks.”

“Hitoshi,” you grumbled, making him look at you, “Why are you telling me about your sexual preferences?”

“Oh right…” he shook his head, “I hate doing it because I don’t have much control in my life because of it,” he looked at you with fierce eyes, “That’s why...I want to say fuck it.”

Before you could respond, he was walking up to you, cupping your cheek in a warm hand. Your eyes were wide, staring up at him as he moved close to you, his lips brushing yours.

“It’s been so fucking painful letting you go,” he whispered, “Having to reject you and let you go out with fucking Denki nearly broke me down, not gonna lie. I didn’t want him to hurt you, that’s why I interfered...but I also...didn’t want to let him have you when I wanted you so damn bad myself.”

Your heartbeat stuttered as you stared up at him, wide eyed, “D-Does that mean you…”

He nodded, “Shit, I’ve liked you for so long, _____. It’s been so hard not telling you how I feel every single day.”

“Hitoshi,” you likced your lips, reaching up to fist the front of his shirt. He hummed before you spoke again, “Please kiss me.”

There was a quick flash of his smile before his lips met yours ― every bit as soft as you expected them to be. You could faintly taste toothpaste on his lips but you didn’t mind one bit, he probably tasted the same from you.

His hand moved from your cheek to your jaw, angling your head to deepen the kiss. Your own hands moved around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

You quickly found yourself on your back, his hand wandering up the hem of your shirt, touching the bare skin of your stomach. You whimpered, fisting his hair as you kept him locked in a kiss. He didn’t seem to mind, simply sighing against your lips.

You still had questions but you couldn’t bear the thought of stopping this so you tucked them into the back of your mind, devoting yourself to what was right in front of you.

Shinsou sat up just slightly, breaking the kiss. You almost whined but the feeling of his hand creeping upwards towards your bare breast stopped you.

“Is this okay?” he asked for your consent, pausing before he actually touched you.

“Very,” you breathed, tugging him back down for another kiss.

Immediately, he cupped your breast, thumbing your already erected nipple. You gasped into his mouth, earning an amused chuckle from him.

“Sensitive?” he asked, pecking your lips before suddenly sitting back.

This time you did whine at the loss. He flashed you a fond smile before pushing the hem of your shirt up to your neck, revealing your chest to his greedy eyes.

“D-Don’t just stare,” you complained, feeling your cheeks burn as he admired your body.

“Sorry,” he replied insincerely, cupping your breast once more, “You have such pretty tits, you know? I couldn’t help it.”

You scoffed but it turned into a choked gasp as he enveloped your pert bud in his hot mouth, wet tongue lashing against it before he pulled away with a firm suck. You wrapped your hands in those soft, purple tresses and whined. His other hand came up to pinch your other nipple, making sure to give it just as much attention.

“Toshi…” you whined, tugging his hair until he pulled away, his lips swollen.

“What is it, baby?” he hummed, nosing at your neck to press soft kisses there.

“T-Take your shirt off,” you breathed, tugging at the hem until you were able to pull it over his head with a bit of assistance.

Once he was as shirtless as you, your hands began to wander to touch every bit of skin you had long to for so long. He let you explore, letting out a soft sigh when you brushed over one of his hardened nipples. You didn’t linger in one place for long, quickly growing too curious at the sight of his member straining against those damn sweatpants he always wore.

His head tipped back as you palmed him through the fabric, quickly noticing that he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Eagerly, you dipped your fingers beneath the hem and pulled his cock free, your fingers not even able to touch once wrapped around.

He was thick, a curve to his length that you just knew would hit a certain spot inside of you that would make you lose your mind. The head was a flushed red color, leaking precum that you used to give him a couple easy strokes.

He reached down, grabbing your wrist to stop you before slipping his own hand down the hem of your shorts and panties.

Your hips bucked the second his fingers made contact with your folds ― already dripping wet and coating his digits generously. He gave a few soft circles to your clit, testing your sensitivity before finding the pressure that had you cunt clenching around nothing.

You whined, grinding your hips against his touch in hopes he’d slip at least one of those long fingers into you. Thankfully, you were granted your wish and more as he easily slid his middle and ring fingers in.

He groaned as you walls tightly clenched around him, trying to desperately pull him back in whenever he pulled them out slightly.

“Feel good?” he breathed, already knowing the answer but craving your praise.

“So good,” you whimpered, biting your lip. He curled his fingers suddenly, nailing that sweet, spongy spot on your upper wall, “Right there!” you gasped.

He grinned, massaging that one pleasure-point with vigor, “Yeah? Right there, kitten?”

You keened at the name, walls clenching. He groaned at the feeling, suddenly pulling his hand free from your shorts. You didn’t have time to complain before he was tugging the remaining articles down your legs to toss away.

He moved with practice expertise, grabbing you beneath the thighs to pin them open. Your wet cunt was exposed to his all too greedy eyes. He licked his lips at the sight, making your cheeks burn.

Before you knew it, he was kneeling on the floor beside the bed, tugging you down just a bit so your ass was almost hanging off the edge. The position left you completely at his mercy. He knew it too.

You watched with bated breath as he spread your folds open ― revealing the shiny, pink hole that continuously dripped your arousal. It clenched beneath his leering gaze and he groaned.

“Fuck!” you squealed when he dove forward to wrap his lips around your hardened clit.

He hummed at your taste, sending vibrations through the little bud. He quickly abandoned that in favor of getting a full taste of your juices. Tonguing your entrance, he reveled in how tight you were around his tongue.

You reached down, tanging your fingers in his hair as he ate you with all he had. His tongue worked expertly to circle your clit before dipping back down to your hole once again.

“Please, put your fingers in,” you begged, desperate to be filled.

He quickly obliged, slipping two long digits into your clenched pussy before mouthing over your clit eagerly. He could already feel you clenching sporadically around him and he couldn’t resist setting a quick pace, hammering against your sweet spot with every movement.

Your muscles were taught as you felt that glorious high building up. Soft pleas left your lips as your back arched.

“Gonna cum, kitten?” he tasted, flicking his tongue against your clit.

“Y-Yeah!” you sobbed, abandoning your hold on his hair to tear at your blankets ― not wanting to hurt him in your throes of pleasure.

“Cum then,” the casual way he said those words flicked a switch and you were cumming.

He groaned through your high, feeling your cunt spasm around him. He felt your cum gush from around his digits, soaking them as you clit throbbed beneath the pad of his tongue. Once your body began to relax, he pulled away.

Your thighs slammed shut once he was out of the way, your muscles trembling through the intense aftershocks. While you were coming down, he stripped himself of his sweats, popping his cum-soaked fingers into his mouth with a groan as he fisted his cock to the sight of you trembling.

The fact he made you cum so hard was a boost to his ego and he didn’t bother fighting the prideful grin on his face. Sweat coated your skin and made your hair stick to your neck.

After several seconds, he climbed onto the bed and maneuvered you so your head was in the pillows. You bit your lip and grinned slyly at him as he climbed onto the bed.

“Shit uh…” he looked around your room quickly, a frown on his lips. You looked up at him curiously before he explained, “Condom?”

You bit your lip and shook your head, “D-Don’t worry about it.”

“Huh?” he gaped down at you.

You shrugged, “I’m on the pill and well...I’m sure you use condoms with you...job, right?”

“Always,” he blinked.

“Then…” you wiggled your hips at him with a cheeky grin.

He chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. Reaching between the two of you, he gripped his cock and tapped the head of it against your folds. Your thighs jumped as he slapped lightly against your sensitive clit.

Finally, he began to press into you and your mouth fell open at the delicious stretch his cock gave you. He clenched his teeth, letting you soft groans as he sunk more of his length into you. Your walls gripped him so tightly, spasming and clenching as he was fully seated within you.

The two of you had to pause before continuing, the feeling of him filling you up too much. His cock was thick, making you feel like he was stuffing you full.

“Please,” you begged, fisting the pillows on either side of your head as he sat back on his heels.

Gazing between your thighs, he nearly lost it at the sight of your cunt stretched tight to accommodate him. He thumbed over your clit, receiving a sharp cry from your lips.

“Fuck...you’re so fucking tight,” he growled, circling his hips against yours with a groan, “I can feel you clenching so tight around me. Bet you wanna cum again, huh?”

“Yes!” you cried quickly, mouth agape as he gave a sudden thrust, “Please make me cum!”

He shushed you, rubbing his thumbs over your hips, “Don’t worry, kitten, I got you...I’ll get you there.”

Before you could respond, he was setting an almost brutal pace. You always imagined what Shinsou would be like in bed ― you pictured it too many times at night. Sometimes you imagined he would take it slow with deep, intense thrusts. Other times you’d picture exactly this; rough, harsh thrusts that you were sure were going to leave you sore when the morning came.

You had no complaints though.

Hitoshi gripped you beneath your knees, pinning your legs to your chest as he fucked you. Your cunt gushed around him, making lewd, wet noises reverberate around the room and mingle with your mixed moans. He let out groans of pleasure, strands of purple hair sticking to his forehead.

You couldn’t help but admire the sight of him ― muscles rippling and moving with the force of his thrusts. Reaching up, you pulled him closer against you, dragging your nails across his shoulder blades.

He winced but you felt his cock twitch at the pinch of pain inflicted as a result. You thought back to what you saw that one night ― the marks some random woman left on his body. Suddenly, you were overcome with the need to mark him as yours.

Catching him by surprise, you managed to flip him over, straddling his waist, using his strong chest as leverage to fuck yourself on his thick cock. The new angle allowed him to reach even deeper, almost hitting your cervix every time you sunk down on him. He gripped your hips, assisting your movements as he tossed his head back into the pillows.

“Shit, that’s it, kitten,” he praised, reaching up to pinch one of your nipples.

You keened at the praise, leaning down to deliver a sharp bite against his shoulder, sucking at the skin until a bright red mark bloomed. You eyed it proudly, biting your lip as you ground against his cock, making sure your clit got the attention it needed.

Shinsou bucked into you, making you whine as he started a steady pace of bouncing. Your thighs burned but it was worth the sight of having him beneath you. The way he stared up at you, as if you were a goddess made your heart race.

“Toshi…” you whined, leaning back to steady yourself on his thighs as he started to thrust up into you.

“What is it, babygirl?” he grunted, gripping your hips tightly as he fucked his thick cock into your gushing cunt.

��Make me cum, please!” you begged, biting your lip.

He grinned, bringing his thumb to his lips to lick the pad of it, “I got you, baby.”

Before you could think of a response, he was circling his thumb around your clit, the bud desperate for attention. Your body tensed with just a few quick circles of his thumb, his cock angled against your g-spot so perfectly that you immediately reached your high.

Through your own cries of pleasure, you heard him moaning alongside you before he froze, his cock buried deep inside you as he came. His cock throbbed and pulsed with every jet of hot cum he released into your clenching walls.

All at once, things stilled. You both relaxed against each other. His cock was still stuffed inside you, softening as his cum leaked out around him to make a mess between the two of you. You laid your head against his chest, his large hand cupping the back of it, pressing soft kisses against your forehead until your heartbeats finally slowed to a reasonable pace.

“Let’s take a bath, baby,” he groaned as he sat up, keeping you secure in his lap.

You were surprised he could carry you so easily after he nearly fucked the very life out of you.

Soon enough, you found yourself surrounded by sweet-smelling water with a fucked-out Shinsou cuddling against your back.

“Not to...ruin this afterglow bliss,” you hummed, leaning back against him as the warm water ripped around you, “But what brought this confession on suddenly? I thought you said your job doesn’t allow room for relationships.”

He was quiet for several, long seconds before he leaned forward to press a kiss to your shoulder, “I didn’t think it was fair to let myself be with you when I was going out once a month to hang around with a bunch of women. It isn’t something I want to put you through.”

“So you’re going to quit?” you asked.

He nodded, “I probably won’t be able to make enough money to keep this place but...if it means I can have you without feeling like shit about hurting you, then yeah. It’ll be worth it, I’m sure.”

“Why don’t you just…” you bit your lip, pausing.

“What?” you questioned, gripping your chin to make you look at him, “Talk to me.”

You hummed, “Just stop with the sex and kissing stuff...just be arm candy, like you said. Hang out with them. They’ll still pay for that, right?”

He raised a brow, shifting so he could look better at your face, “You’d be okay with me going to hang out with a bunch of women who want nothing more than to sit on my dick?”

“Well…” you cleared your throat, your cheeks burning, “As long as only I get to sit on your dick then it’ll be fine. I trust you, Hitoshi.”

He was quiet once again before a smile fell across his lips, leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips, “We’ll talk more about it later. Let’s just relax.”

He tucked you against his chest, leaning back against the porcelain of the tub. With his fingers caressing across your skin, you allowed yourself to drift off ― finally wrapped up in those damn arms you dreamed of.

#bnha x reader #shinsou x reader #hitoshi shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #bnha smut #shinsou smut #afton.writes

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saturnsummer · 3 years ago

Note

Solhwi prompt:

Sol A tries to set up a date between sol B and joonhwi after his court 'confession' (even though she is lowkey jealous) assuming he was talking about her and confusion ensues... And if you can use the following dialogue-

"Sol, it's you. It has always been you."

love's complicated.

Sol A's not jealous. She really isn't.

But what was this twisting, nerve wracking feeling that she feels every time she sees Sol B?

notes: prompted by @confusedsoulsramblings ! i had so much fun writing this, i had to add a small bonus at the end. i had no intention on making this so long, but i guess it’s my trait to make long fics. spelling, grammar and incorrect information will be taken responsible by me. thank you all for support, once again! let me know of more prompts, questions or your reviews! feedback and criticism very much appreciated! thank you all, once again for the endless love!!

words: 3000 words.

ao3

Sol shouldn't be any less shocked during Yeseul's trial. When Prosecutor Jin cornered Joon Hwi with his question, she turned to look at her roomie at the same time she did. Then, she saw Joon Hwi’s eyes trail nervously, fluttering between them both. Sol knew his answer from the look on his face.

It was never her to begin with.

She wasn't angry. She wasn't upset. She expected it. Sol B was sophisticated, graceful and beautiful. She knew how all the freshmen would nickname her "Ice Princess.". Could anyone disagree? Furthermore, coming from a family of lawyers and prosecutors, who wouldn't love her? She was a dream child. She possessed both the brains and the beauty.

Joon Hwi was always open with his teasing and words. He loved teasing her over their first meeting at the bookstore. He loves visiting Byeol randomly, even when Sol isn't home. He often comments with sentences that could have secondary meanings, and was very much teased by Bokgi. Even though he infuriated her sometimes, she always smiled with him.

Sol felt special, if she was honest. She felt like the only girl that he had his eyes on. She couldn’t help but feel tingly inside and her heart blooming like flowers in spring. Yeseul spent hours convincing Sol that Joon Hwi likes her, and on some nights, she liked to fantasied to the thought of it.

Of course, it means nothing to her now.

Sol sits alone in the study room, huffing out a sigh. She ruffles her hair and buries her face into her sweater sleeves. She can't believe that she can't study due to Joon Hwi liking her roommate. She doesn't like the twisting feeling in her stomach, and she doesn't know what it's called, too.

Was she... jealous?

Sol shakes her head vigorously and slaps her face a couple of times. No, she thinks, and lets out a breathy laugh. She can’t be. As far as her feelings went, she never considered seeing Joon Hwi more than best friends. The chances of him liking her was held at a much higher percentage than her liking him, in Sol’s head.

But thinking back, she couldn’t deny her feelings anymore. She couldn’t bury her feelings any further, especially now that she has accidentally dug them up. Her snarky remarks, the way she acted with him, the burning feelings she felt whenever someone spoke bad of him, her smiles that she would sometimes save for him.

Maybe, she does had feelings for this second round judicial exam passer.

But at the same time, she felt wrong. Her roomie was oh, so obviously in love with Joon Hwi, harbouring such toxic feelings felt wrong. It felt backstabbing and so betraying. She couldn’t be jealous. She can’t be, anymore. She should be happy, for her best friend to fancy such a perfect partner like Sol B.

Even if it meant that her feelings were not returned, she didn't mind.

Because his happiness and smile was enough for her.

-----

Sol did her best to squash those toxic feelings. She reminded herself that her roomie was in love with her best friend, and her best friend felt the same. She avoided every moment she was caught between them and always scooted away when Joon Hwi wanted to sit with her. She gave lame excuses (”I want to sit with Yeseul”, “Yebeom needs to help me with a case”), but her feelings only bubbled up stronger inside.

She witnessed as her cold faced roomie soften in her speech when talking to Joon Hwi, the way her eyes softened when he would explain something to her, the way he gave the exact same smile to her when he witnesses her finally figuring things on her own. Or the eyes that he gives when he devours his ramyeon while Sol eats her extra pickles with equal fervour.

If Sol was being honest and straightforward, she wanted to take out her anger on Joon Hwi. For leading her on to believing that he liked her. For being so flirty with her that even BokGi wanted to join in on the teasing. For playing her into this game, only to leave her hanging and lost and completely blindsided by his feelings.

But no, she couldn’t. She knew it wasn’t his fault. She blamed herself, for letting herself be lead by him. She blamed herself for falling for him, instead of focussing on her studies. She was always more rash and emotional.

It was her decision to fall for his charms, not his.

She can’t bring herself to blame him, knowing that Joon Hwi was always like this. Mumbling with low spirits, she sunk lower into her chair in the empty study room. She purposely didn’t want to tell anyone that she would be studying in the study room, in hopes that she could be alone. Heading back to her dorm was not an option, since her roomie’s presence would made her so guilty.

“Why the long sigh, sunbae?” She freezes at the nickname. Internally, a part of her lights up, recognising the voice, but even more the nickname that was said. As quickly as it came, it dissipated as she finally registered who it was, and her guilt ridden feelings came right back up.

Joon Hwi walked in, with his bag slung over, his signature smirk on his face. Pulling a chair, he scooted it over nearer to Sol. Peering over her book, he leaned closer and grabbed the pen she was holding.

“Ooh, criminal codes. Are you having trouble?” He asks, leaning closer to her.

Sol was so glad he was not looking at her. His body was so near hers, that she could smell the fresh cologne he wore, and the slight musk of sweat from a whole day of work. She couldn’t stay here any longer, while having a knot in her stomach. Leaping from her chair, she gathered her books, nearly scaring Joon Hwi and she quickly packed her things.

“I... I just remembered that I needed to meet Yeseul for something!” She blurts out, before running out the room.

She ran up to where the lecture halls were at, before going back down and escape to a part of their campus garden. She always took the same spot, a hidden corner hidden away by a tree that even Joon Hwi isn’t aware of. She frequented that area many times, when she was still insecure about making friends and found it particularly comforting.

“This is no good, I can’t run off every time I see him.” She mumbles to herself. She knew she was right. She knew Joon Hwi was smart to catch on about her not attending classes as usual with her seat next to him. Even though she still showed up for study group, she knew that he could sense the change in her mood.

She needed a plan, and she needed it ASAP.

-----

A week passed after her awkward encounter. Sol had gotten used to the twisted feeling in her stomach. After a week of debating in her head, she formulated her plan to get her feelings over and done with.

She was going to have her roommate and Joon Hwi date.

Sol had figured that if there’s anything she does best, it’s to disappoint herself. Instead of losing face to her best friend and confessing to him about how she felt, she much rather have her feelings crushed instead. Because she knows that he will probably debate on who to choose and she couldn’t let him be the decision maker. He doesn't need to make such a difficult decision.

Besides, Sol knew her roomie’s situation. With an overbearing and controlling mother, the least she could do to make her happy was to have the man she crushed on. He could at least help her in her studies, benefitting her mother’s dreams of being a judge one day and have him by her side forever.

Sol knew the date was going to go well. Sol B had the hugest crush, Joon Hwi would have might as well admitted to her that he had feelings for her in front of the whole court room. All they were missing were private moments alone, without their textbooks and no mentions of school. Oh, and maybe a few glasses of wine and a fancy restaurant in town.

And so Sol found herself in the study room alone again, thinking about how to tell Joon Hwi about setting up a date between Sol B.

Apparently, fate meant for it to happen now.

Because Joon Hwi strode in, a familiar smile on his face, in his hoodie.

“Stuck again?” Joon Hwi says, nodding to her books on the table. She contemplates going into small talk and saying yes, but pushes her thoughts aside. No, she needed this out of her system.

“Joon Hwi, how would you like to go on a date with Sol B?” She blurts out, literally making her point across. Joon Hwi is stunned for a moment, as he sets his bag on the table, leaning on a chair.

“Well...what makes you think I would enjoy it?” Joon Hwi stutters back, clearly stunned.

“Oh, I mean, well, you know how Sol B likes you, don’t you? And I think it’ll be nice for you to go on a date with her. You know get to know my roomie more.” Sol replies as casually as she can. A part of her hopes he says no, that he rather spends his time doing anything else.

But instead, he just shrugs and nods.

And her heart drops, shattering like glass into a thousand pieces. She maintains her bright smile on her face, and even gives a convincing laugh. Sol sits through the next ten minutes of her telling Joon Hwi when she’s free tomorrow and promising she won’t tell anyone, not even Yeseul.

As best as she can, she excuses herself from him, hoping her voice isn’t shaky when she says “I hope you enjoy your date!” as she walks away. Her steps are shaky and she feels lightheaded. She doesn't notice how her eyes are teary, the same way they get when she cuts onions.

Rushing to the washroom nearest to the garden, she locks herself in a cubicle and takes deep silent breaths. She concentrates on breathing and tries brainwashing herself. Come on, Sol, you can’t be upset for him. You should be happy! Joon Hwi is going on a date! And he’s going with the best girl you know! Why are you upset? She repeatedly chants this in her head, holding in her tears as best she can.

But it unfortunately isn’t enough when she finally cracks, letting the pent up sadness explode from it’s cage, her tears streaming down. She prays the bathroom is empty when she wails and sobs, crumbling to the floor in a heap of tears as she can’t help but get the image of her crush and roommate holding hands and kissing.

For once in her life, she has never felt so hurt, but she couldn’t blame anyone but herself for putting herself in this situation. She landed herself in this ditch, and now she has to deal with the fact that her crush, her best friend, will be dating her roommate.

Composing herself, she wipes her tears dry and washes her splotchy face. She rejects Yeseul’s offer for dinner, resorting to spending her night at the campus garden away in her hiding spot. She’s cold, but it’s nowhere near the numbness she feels in her heart deep down. When it gets too cold at 2am, she sneaks back into campus and goes to the long sofas in front of the Lady of Justice statue.

She sits there staring into space for a long while, before carrying her bag to the, now empty and deserted, study room, where she crouches to the corner of the room. She’s reminded of the moments where he would sit with her so close, their shoulders brushed each other and their fingers always fumbled around for stationary. Everything reminds her of him, and she falls asleep, huddled in a corner, just as the rare rays of sun start to emerge.

She wanted him, but he wasn't hers anymore.

-----

“Sol. Sol, get up.” She hears a familiar voice say. Having slept for less than six hours, she’s groggy and rubs her eyes. Her back hurts from being hunched over, and her joints are sore and stiff. Her vision comes to focus as she comes face to face with Joon Hwi.

“Ah!” She yelps out, startled by his presence and retreats back, only banging her head against the metal cabinets instead. She winces and rubs her head, soothing her pain. Joon Hwi sighs and holds out his hand. She swats his hand away.

“Why are you here?” Sol asks Joon Hwi. Joon Hwi holds a serious expression as he steps back to let Sol stand on her own.

“I take back what I said yesterday.” He says suddenly.

“Huh?”

“I’m not going on a date with Sol B anymore. I don’t want to.” He blurts out. Sol takes a moment to register his words. Immediately, anger floods in. She can’t tell if it’s residual anger from being mad at him for playing her, or anger on behalf of her roommate.

“What? What do you mean? But Sol B likes you so much! You should at least give her a chance!” Sol argues back, making her way to the other side of the table at the same time, dumping her bag there. She’s proper angry now, letting her emotions take charge of her actions. Her eyes are frustrated and her face frowns. Joon Hwi stops her and grabs her wrist, stopping her from moving away from him and pulls her back to the same side of the table that he is.

“I don’t like her. And I don’t think I ever will.” He admits. Sol is breathless, taking in all this new information. But during the court, it was so clear that it was her roommate. She can’t do it, having Joon Hwi so close to her, wanting to be with him, yet getting told that he harbours no feelings for Sol B. The tension she felt was driving her crazy.

“But...” Her speech comes out breathless, almost suffocated out of anger and frustration.

“Sol.” His voice is an octave lower, as he leans towards her, his face closing the distance. “Listen to me.”

“It’s you. It has always been you. From the beginning, it was always you.”

Sol lets out a breath, almost suffocating from the tension.

It...it was her?

All this while...?

“I thought... I thought...” She hates how her voice is so full of breath. She’s leaning against the table, and his hands have shifted from her wrist to the side of the table, trapping her.“I thought you liked her. I thought this entire while, she was the one you liked.”

“Maybe this will make you trust me.”

And he presses his mouth against hers.

Sol’s startled, not used to Joon Hwi being so dominating. But his soft lips against hers distract her. She removes her hands from the table, bringing them up to his hang around his neck. His hands slowly make their way to her waist as they move in sync. When they finally part, Sol’s face is blushed bright red. She feels his hot breath against her face.

“Believe me now, sunbae?”

-----

bonus:

Sol B tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ears when she stops in her tracks to meet Joon Hwi.

“Hey, um, can we talk?” He asks awkwardly. She doesn’t know why she feels so calm, knowing that she should be feeling butterflies for having her crush talk to her. Nodding, they head to a spot until the staircases.

“I don’t know how to put it...” Sol B realises where this conversation is going. In fact, she has been waiting for this day, ever since Yeseul’s court hearing. She knows what he’s going to say before he even says it.

“You don’t like me, you like Sol A, right?” She completes his sentence. Joon Hwi fumbles in his speech and finds ways to defend himself quickly. But Sol B is quick to cut him off.

“It’s okay.” She says, the closest thing to a satisfied face she can make on her face. “I fully support you.”

“You’re... you’re not sad? Or angry?” Joon Hwi is cautious with his questions. Sol gives a slight scoff. If she’s honest, she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know what begin her crush for him, to begin with. She can’t remember if it was the way he answered questions, or the time he helped her put on her glasses. All she knows is that he didn’t like her, and she felt peace with that.

“I’ve seen the way you look at her. Your smile and your eyes are enough to prove it. Besides, that's who you were talking about in court, wasn’t it? You wanted to protect her.” She asks. He nods, eyes unable to meet hers.

When Sol B went to bed the night before, she noticed that her roomie was nowhere. Assuming that she was out studying, she went to bed. But when she woke up the next morning, Sol B found her bed still the same state as last night. It was obvious she didn’t return to the dorm.

“She didn't come back last night.” Sol B says and Joon Hwi’s eyes widen in panic.

“What?”

“Check the study room. She might just be studying there.”

“Okay.” He says and turns around. But he turns around once more before jogging away.

“Thank you, for everything.”

Sol B gives a suppressed smile as she watches Joon Hwi get further and further from him. She tries all she can to find anger, jealousy, sadness, brokenness, denial.

But yet, all she feels is calming peace.

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iwaizooming · 4 years ago

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➵ KARASUNO FIRST YEARS AS YOUR ROOMMATES

characters: hinata; kageyama; tsukishima; yamaguchi type: headcanons genre: crack? just fun platonic roomie things~ a/n: i might make this a series let’s see (REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED) also this is a repost bc last time tumblr swallowed it from searches again

༻✧༺

HINATA SHOYO

leaves his shoes everywhere

you even built him his own ikea shoerack, but still, you’ll find one of his stinky volleyball shoes in the hallway and the other in the kitchen (how the-)

will ask to join you if he sees you doing those home workout videos

he’ll be perfectly fine throughout the whole workout while you’re heaving and sweating like a madman (damn you athleticism)

loves to join you if you’re cooking lunch or dinner, and he’ll repay you by washing the dishes or buying you your favorite boba drink if he passes by the shop on his way home

probably pierced his own ears one night but did it incorrectly so it bled everywhere and you wake up to him screaming bloody murder

when you rush to the source of the noise—eyes bleary and words slurred—you find him holding his ear which is gushing out blood non stop

by the time the two of you reach the ER, he looks like he’s about to pass out from blood loss lmao

he’s fine though, just really really dumb (definitely won’t be the last dumb thing he’ll do as your roommate)

KAGEYAMA TOBIO

takes up most of the fridge space with his milk and electrolyte drinks

eats hardboiled eggs for breakfast, no soy sauce no chili flakes no nothing—just plain ole’ eggs

probably orders pre-prepped food because he needs to stay healthy but almost burned down the whole apartment that one time he tried to cook chicken

showers in the morning and at night at the exact same times every day (so it’s easy for you to work around the schedule and the two of you have to fight for the bathroom)

sleeps really early (like around 9pm) because he’s baby and he needs his beauty sleep

or else his brain will cease to function

will awkwardly peek into the bathroom if you’re throwing up after a night out and ask you if you need anything

but will be VERY awkward about it he’ll literally be standing like 🧍by the door because he wants to help but he doesn’t know what to do

will indulge in greasy takeout dinners with you once in a while because he actually really enjoys spending time with you, but is too shy to initiate it

TSUKISHIMA KEI

will avoid meeting you at all costs especially in the first few months you guys became roommates

but when he finally warms up to you, he’s a pretty damn good roommate i feel like

you guys go grocery shopping together every week because it saves time

no one else really knows this but he stocks up on those animal crackers and he’ll literally buy 10 boxes of those whenever it’s on sale

you guys sometimes have movie nights together because you’re one of the few people he can actually tolerate

whenever it’s his turn to choose, he always picks the jurassic park movies or some other dystopian film

brings you some dessert from the cafe near campus when he knows that you’re feeling extra stressed because of uni

overall i think that he’ll be a wonderful roommate because man knows hygiene + personal space, what more can you ask for?

(+ you’re slowly becoming one of his friends and he actually likes spending time with you. huh.)

YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

everyone knows that yamaguchi will be a wonderful roommate

he cleans up after himself and sometimes even washes your dishes if he sees you passed out on the couch from exhaustion

the two of you have weekly cleaning sessions together where you deep clean the apartment

the only annoying that he does as a roommate is that he forgets his keys a lot

there were times when you’re also out with your friends and all of a sudden you’d get a phone call from yamaguchi asking to be let into the apartment

the first few times you’d reluctantly go home to let him in but now you just tell him to wait until you get home

at around 10pm you’d come home to find him sitting against the front door, half-asleep

when he hears your footsteps approaching, he’ll perk up and look at you sheepishly with a blush on his face, eyes apologetic

but then he’ll make it up by grabbing you coffee the next day, so all is well :)

༻✧༺

OTHER WORKS

a/n: not based on personal experience because my college roommates usually suck ass >:( also i made this on a whim bc i got reminded of my previous roomie and got annoyed teehee

general taglist is in the comments! fill in the form in my navi to be added! <3

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #tsukishima x reader #kageyama x reader #hinata x reader #yamaguchi x reader

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jjungkookislife · 4 years ago

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Quarterly Fic Recs 2021

Hello! This is my first recs list so I’m not sure if I’ve done this correctly, but here are fics I’ve read, loved and thoroughly enjoyed in the first quarter of 2021! They are all very wonderful fics! Each story has its own genre, warnings (and are 18+), so please take that into consideration before reading. If any authors would like me to untag them, please let me know. Enjoy!

Seokjin

golden boy @kpopfanfictrash

summary: The golden boy of the porn industry, prettier than half his female co-stars. Will sue if you pull his hair. Always bothering his neighbors with pizza delivery.

Yoongi

finding big foot @bloomsuga

summary: you set out to hike the pacific crest trail in search of yourself… instead you found him

Jimin

steamy waters @oftenderweapons-a-companion

summary: it’s been a while since Jimin has returned from the tour. Princess is supposed to meet with Vixen and Lace — Girls’ Night squad is back — for dinner and is missing only a few details before leaving when Jimin presents his counterarguments. Too benevolent to leave him sulking — and too vulnerable to his charms — Princess decides she has enough time to indulge him. Of course she ends up being late to the appointment, but she’s not the only one.

Taehyung

the snow king @/bloomsuga

summary: cursed to freeze anything he touches, prince taehyung built a castle of ice to keep everyone else out. what he didn’t plan on? you getting in

enemy @btssmutgalore

summary: Taehyung may be cocky, but he has every reason to be. After all, he never gets turned down by women – at least not until he meets you.

Jungkook

ancient history @moononthejoon

summary: there is no way to deny that you and Jungkook have chemistry. the two of you used to be a couple, after all. what happens when after a not-so-amicable breakup the two of you are cast as opposite leads of a movie?

bound @/btssmutgalore

ASK: Imagine Koo on his knees in front of you so that you can bury your fingers in his now blonde hair and pull his head back so he looks all vulnerable and ready to be devoured by you with his throat exposed. Oh, did I mention that his hands are tied behind his back in red silk and you stripped him of his shirt? Have fun with that mental image!

viki & hickeys @1kook

summary: Just like in those Viki dramas Jungkook likes, the world around you is enveloped in shades of pink and red, kisses and hearts, so many goddamn roses it makes you sneeze. It’s absolutely perfect— nothing could possibly go wrong when there’s so much love in the air.

gold rush @venusiangguk

summary: jk comes back from a weekend away and he wants to show you just how much he missed you.

teeth @sweetbunnykook

summary: Your obedient servant has a craving only you can satiate.

oops wrong wedding @ppersonna

summary: jungkook drives you to the wrong wedding

bad behavior @noteguk

summary: in which staying late to volunteer at a self-help meeting was the best decision you made in a while.

bad influence ^

summary; in which you know Jungkook is a bad influence on you, but you can’t avoid falling for him every time.

after hours @zibermuda

summary: after your boss hires a second assistant, you feel the pressure of being outperformed more now than ever. A blind date, a tight skirt, and a cup of jealously is the perfect recipe to bake a your-boss-fucks-you-against-your-desk-because-you’re-his-favourite-assistant cake. How sweet!

concrete king @bratkook

summary: when a cute boy in a tacky hawaiian shirt lands a trick in your honor theres no way you could you ever say no to him

OT7

nutjobs @ironicarmy

summary: Eight friends. One terrible idea. A whole lot of trouble. Welcome to No Nut November.

Namjoon

cinderella!joon @jinpanman

will you let me? @/bratkook

summary: Namjoon wants nothing more than to see you stuffed full of his cum, and as his mind starts to wander with thoughts of the future, he has to know if you’d let him.

Jungkook

swipe right @/ppersona

summary: after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, Jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?

another taste @/bratkook

summary: full of adrenaline after a show, Jungkook just wants to see you fall apart on his tongue.

Yoongi

of fire and love @hollyhomburg

summary: When Dragon Yoongi finds baby Jungkook in the wreckage of a house he burned down, he can’t bring himself to kill the child. Months after someone drops off a baby at your door, you start to notice something- or someone, lurking at the edge of the woods.

Namjoon

break up with your girlfriend @lovetrivia

summary: After his long time girlfriend, Yuri, rejects his proposal and confesses to cheating on him, the two “go on a break”. However, a beautiful student retaking the Human Sexuality class he TAs for may be the breaking point.

heated @joonsgalore

summary: Namjoon is your own personal living, breathing, walking furnace.

fool for you @cutechim

summary: he may be your best friend, but he’s still only second best.

lost in the funhouse @dovechim

prisoner!namjoon au

Jungkook

commercial break; eight @/1kook

summary: You always do this— always ask for more. You take and you take until there’s nothing left for Jungkook to give. But Jungkook is the same.

e2l!jungkook ^

summary: e2l jungkook checking out his annoying ass coworker

piece of you @dntaewithluv

summary: After three months of pining over the cute delivery boy, as well as ordering a questionable amount of pizza, you decide to finally shoot your shot with him by slipping him your number during one of his deliveries. When Jungkook actually takes you up on your offer and calls you on a Friday night to see if you have plans, you’re quick to invite him over. Seeing the blonde haired beauty at your door with pizza and beer in hand makes you think maybe you’re in for something a little extra tonight, and that for once it won’t just be the cheese on the pizza.

thirty four, thirty five @sunshinekims

summary: you and jungkook had two rules in your apartment: no stealing clothes and no hooking up with each other…too bad you guys broke both of those rules because of a TikTok trend. or was it all bad? you’re certainly not complaining, especially if it means you getting with your roommate. roomies to lovers! au

sweeter than sugar @jungkxook

summary: when infamous playboy jeon jungkook comes to you with a proposition that you know you should say no to, you can’t. because all you really know is that being spoiled has never felt so sweet before

#jjungkookislife fic recs #fic recs masterlist #fic recs 2021 #jjungkookislife fic recs masterlist

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doublekrecs · 4 years ago

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haikyuu fic recs (updated!!)

**smuts indicated in warnings!!**

karasuno

kageyama tobio

milking situation by @nekxrizawa (one-shot)

warnings: fluffy-ish, implied pregnant reader, lactation, lactation kink, 18+

lactation kink w/ kags

awe. by @kuroopaisen (one-shot)

warnings: f!reader

a photographer in his spare time, kageyama can’t quite find the passion he once had for the art. until he meets you at a wedding, that is.

so, i had a crush on you… by @beccascribbles (ongoing sm!au series)

warnings: swearing, a lil angst, drinking in later chapters

where you send all the crushes you have ever had a google form to find out if they ever felt the same way towards you.

NO by @hokageyamatobio (one-shot)

warnings: none

the infamous setter asked for your help to study and get better grades, you just didn’t expect to fall for him in the process.

hate sex by @ahegaobaku (one-shot)

warnings: smut, degradation, spanking, biting, hate sex

in which you and your ex express a mutual hatred by using your bodies.

personally. by @bunmilks (one-shot)

warnings: angst

kageyama doesn’t seem to care at all, whereas you care too damn much.

no. 1 fan by @settersloveletters (ongoing series)

warnings: slight angst, smut in later chapters

y/n will always go out of her way for her family, especially for her 7 year old niece, who happens to be kageyama tobio’s number one fan. what happens when the charming sweetheart, y/n, meets the emotionally null, kageyama tobio? and what happens when those two fall in love at first sight?

tsukishima kei

omg they were roommates by @noya-sleftankle (ongoing series)

warnings: drinking

when tsukishima’s best friend yamaguchi moves out of his way too expensive apartment, tsukki finds himself in need of a new roomie. when he replies to your tweet, he expects a quiet girl who keeps to herself but instead he gets you. will you be able to break down tsukishima’s walls or will you be forced to stand on the outside, looking in?

sawamura daichi

watch me by @vangoghmusings (ongoing sm!au series)

warnings: nsfw

college frat boy daichi’s world is turned upside down when he learns his classmate is actually a very popular cam-girl.

sugawara koushi

thigh riding by @nekxrizawa (drabble)

warnings: smut, thigh riding

too easy. by @kuroopaisen (one-shot)

warnings: lil angsty

falling in love with suga was easy. being friends with him was much, much harder.

safety blanket by @vixen-scribbles (one-shot)

warnings: 18+, soft dom!suga, semi-public sex, sofa sex???, a hint of cockwarming, foreplay, degradation/praise kink mixed in there, daichi and asahi make an appearance.

happier by @rebel-ramen (one-shot)

warnings: a lil angsty

reassuring suga you love him.

aoba johsai

oikawa tooru

i don't like your shampoo by @hinac0lada (one-shot)

warnings: none

soulmate!au

birthday gift by @ahegaobaku

warnings: smut, pegging, heavy degradation (giving), sub!oikawa, spanking?

hit me up by @akaashichigo (finished series)

warnings: profanity, sexual jokes & references but no actual n/s/f/w

you leave argentina unsatisfied from the failure of your little quest despite having a last minute retry. just when you’re about to give up, a relatively attractive guy comes up to you asking the same thing you’ve been asking for the past week. conveniently enough, that wasn’t the last time you saw him. sm!au

just until i win by @kurooskult (ongoing series)

warnings: small amount of angst

being a co athletics trainer for a national team proves to be a job that requires a lot of effort, persistence and dedication. just like your long term relationship with a member of a rivalling team. keeping your relationship with world famous athlete oikawa tooru under wraps is no easy challenge but with the olympics fast approaching and fans watching their favourite players every move, you both agree that it’s best you both try your hardest to keep your relationship out the public eye for now. after all, the obstacles of hawk eyed fans, unaware rivals and invasive media attention can’t be too hard to avoid. right? sm!au

gekkan shoujo oikawa kun by @inarzki (one-shot)

warnings: none

oikawa has feelings for his volleyball club’s manager, and he isn’t very subtle about it. unfortunately for him, his charm doesn’t work on her. she’s completely oblivious to his advances, reducing him to embarrassment every single time (the third years find great joy in their captain’s misery.) oikawa finds that he is unable to stop himself from falling into her unknowing traps over and over again.

oikawa touching his s/o in a team dinner by @honeyvanilla-hq (drabble)

warning: smut

last time by @karasu-hoes

warnings: smut, car sex

whose bitch? By @vixen-scribbles

warnings: pegging, degradation, spanking, sub!oikawa

oikawa gets pegged.

iwaizumi hajime

make you sweat by @shanscript (one-shot)

warnings: smut, bathroom sex, sweat kink, body worship

cause you're trouble by @kagsbuns (one-shot?)

warnings: mentions of sex, small pinch of angst

sugar daddy!au

teacups by @kodzukens-thighz (one-shot)

warnings: kitchen sex, slight biting kink, degradation, breeding kink if you squint

in which your college roommate’s boyfriend gets tired of the bedroom eyes the two of you exchange wordlessly every time he’s in your apartment and things get a little heated

hey there, roomie by @myherowritings (one-shot)

warnings: none

after being set up on a bad date with ushijima, he insists on walking you to your doorstep. not wanting him to know where you live, you lead him to iwaizumi’s apartment and pretend iwaizumi is your roommate. college!au

operation: SEX GOD by @writeiolite (one-shot)

warnings: smut, degradation, cum eating, spit play?, cunnilingus, dirty talk, power play, unprotected sex

thinking he’s too vanilla, you make it your mission to improve your roommate’s sex life. you couldn’t have been more wrong. roommate!au

puppy love by @fukuronani (ongoing series)

warnings: none

soulmate where you can write/draw on your skin, it appears on your soulmate’s skin too. in this case, you communicate with your soulmate in your mother tongue for fun. it’s fun to write certain phrases in filipino. soulmate!au, filipino!reader, sm!au

shiratorizawa

ushijima wakatoshi

insecure by @bokutobabie

warnings: hurt/comfort, insecurity, smut, creampie, lots of praise

reader is scared that ushi won’t like what he sees when they get intimate.

drunk phone sex by @wakatshi (one-shot)

warnings: dirty talk, masturbation, praise kink, (auto) asphyxiation, cunnilingus, dom wakatoshi

hesitation by @basicinstnct (one-shot)

warnings: oral sex, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, hair-pulling, face-sitting, implied, sexual content, size kink, dirty talk, established relationship

when wakatoshi makes an effort to get closer to you, you never expect that it'll be in one of the dirtiest ways possible. then again, the ache in your core leaves you in no position to turn him down.

eita semi

it's always better with you by @prettyboi-keiji (drabble)

warnings: none

semi makes your night better with some late night boba drinking and singing you songs.

vortex by @tetsuroyaoyaoya (ongoing series)

warnings: cussing

y/n is a girl living her best life, in an apartment with her two best friends, kuroo and kenma. while she has gained a fair amount of popularity from appearing on kenma’s animal crossing streams, her life isn't all that interesting. that is, until she gets caught up in a scandal with the lead singer of a well-known band, and ends up being the person that could ruin or save his career...

nekoma

kuroo tetsurou

thicc by @rivendell101

warnings: smut, jealousy, thigh riding, spanking, mild choking, dirty talk (praise and degradation), wall sex, unprotected sex

kuroo has nice thighs. unfortunately, you’re not the only one who notices.

fire in his eyes by @tetsurouskuro

warnings: alcohol, swearing, dom!kuroo, fireman!au haikyuu, smut, unprotected sex, shower sex, mirror sex, dirty talk, fluff

kuroo is a fire fighter and your best friend. when your apartment building catches fire and burns up, kuroo offers to let you stay at his place until you’ve found a new apartment.

rent free by @marigoldthoughts (ongoing series)

warnings: swearing, sexual innuendos

you’re karasuno’s second year manager who starts crushing on nekoma’s captain. your friends worry that you’ll end up hurt much like the last time you were interested in a third year. do you care? sm!au

hey, rachel by @noya-sannnn (ongoing series)

warnings: cursing, suggestive themes

two months ago, life was so much simpler for the karasuno second year l/n f/n; she had all the friends she needed and everything was as calm as a serenely flowing river stream. but after her father gets promoted for a job in tokyo— therefore requiring her whole family to move— life goes awfully to shit. just imagine this: barely succeeding at making new friends AND having to deal with a fuckface of a neighbour who ‘bullies’ her for everything she does. oh, and did i mention that he calls her rachel? sm!au

just us two by @jinkicake (one-shot)

warnings: smut, daddy kink, oral (m receiving), public sex, penetration

kuroo loves to fuck you under the lights of his favorite club.

special stream by @cosmic-goddess-leo (one-shot)

warnings: smut, exhibitionism, masturbation, toys

kuroo finds out his roommate is a cam girl. camgirl!au, roommate!au

chemistry by @seita (one-shot)

warnings: smut, mutual/pining, dom!kuroo, dirty talk, handjob (kuroo fucks your fist), pet names, praise kink, mild dacryphilia, multiple orgasms, light degradation, overstimulation, pussy slapping, squirting

you’ve got a steady, fun fwb relationship with a science nerd in your class, kuroo. after being paired up with a project with him, feelings start to develop due to the overwhelming chemistry between the two of you.

sunshine by @pudding-head-kenma (ongoing series)

warnings: a lil angsty

y/n can’t exactly remember where it all went wrong. it’s like one day they’re best friends finishing middle school and the next they’re enemies. if kuroo wants to be an asshole, let him. It’d be nice to know why, though. Sm!au

melancholia by @tetsuwhore (one-shot)

warnings: full blown smut, smoking, drinking, heavy implications of mental illness, parental issues

you’re the edgy, punk outcast. he’s your goofy nerd of a roommate. naturally, you fall for him. college roommate!AU, bad girl!reader

kozume kenma

tangelo envelope by @writeiolite

warnings: vibrators, butt plug, overstimulation, exhibitionism, voyeurism, master/pet-play themes, nudes, alcohol, mutual masturbation, and hookups

you become user kk9kk5′s sim. camgirl!au

boo you whore by @sushimii (finished series)

warnings: angst

the first words your soulmate says to you appears on your wrist from birth. in (Y/N)’s case, she never expected to find hers through a twitch stream, especially when the streamer is someone she hates. sm!au, enemies to lovers!au, soulmate!au

HUSH. by @namikxze

warnings: slight mentions of alcohol, nsfw ft. blowjobs, kenma kinda thinkin like a dom at the end

basically, you come home drunk then try to suck him off while he's live streaming.

stress relief by @inosukki (one-shot)

warnings: breastfeeding kink [?], handjob, cum eating <3

after a rough day at work, kenma wants to try something new that might benefit the both of you.

digging straight down by @sugakuns (finished series)

warnings: after breaking the number one minecraft rule, who knew you’d be pining over the one guy who made fun of you for it. sm!au

fukurodani

bokuto kotaro

farewell by @bokukiyoom (one-shot)

warnings: post breakup angst

post breakup isn’t as easy as it seemed. y/n realized how much happier their days were with bokuto.

come on in by @sushimii (one-shot)

warnings: skinny dipping; thigh riding

akaashi keiji

just your attention by @hqvortex

warnings: thigh riding, grinding, over the clothes stimulation

akaashi won’t pay attention to you, so you decide to grab it from him by all means.

frienemies by @starfleetakaashi (ongoing sm!au series)

warnings: swearing, a lil angst

akaashi was polite, yes, but even he had people he didn’t really like. you were one of them. not like you cared because you hated him, too, but all of the sudden you were paired with him for a project. now that’s when you care.

ike or like like by @bunmilks

warnings: none

in the face of love, akaashi is painfully oblivious

baby boy by @jinkicake

warnings: bondage, overstimulation, oral (f receiving), face sitting, blindfold, light praise kink

some sub!akaashi

daisy flower by @elysianseraph

warnings: overstim, femdom, sub!akaashi, toys, bondage, gags

now live: pretty boy_05 by @starboybokuto (one-shot)

warnings: smut, fluff, pet play, dirty talk, degradation, praising, some dumbification, exhibitionism, senpai kink, lowkey hard dom!akaashi, after care on cam

after getting suspicious about his impressive income as a college student, your best friend tells you about your new boyfriend's side-job and when you decide to confront him, akaashi finally finds the courage to tell you about his little hobby. camboy!au, college!au

inarizaki

miya atsumu

backseat serenade by @msbyslut

warnings: filth, ATSUMUyes he deserves a warning, car sex but not really, fem!reader, light choking, fingering, squirting, dirty talk, v light overstim

teasing atsumu is always interesting.

king of the fall by @elysianseraph

warnings: a lil angsty

atsumu miya has never had any feelings about falling in love. he tries not to think too hard about stuff like that. until he meets you, and now its the only thing on his mind.

virgin killer by @dearkags

warnings: cursing, nsfw jokes

y/n is an animal lover, and living in a place with loud roommates would never allow her to adopt new pets that she can take care of. but everything changes, when she finally decides to move into a new apartment by herself to be able to live with her beloved and peaceful animals, until her annoying new neighbor miya atsumu, shows up with his weird antics of attemping to flirt.

coincidence by @bokukiyoom

warnings: bit of angst, language, alcohol, suggestive

atsumu and y/n have been internet friends for over a year now. until now, she lived in america to gain experience; after moving back to japan, she contacted her old friend group, in hope of getting back together again. little did she know, that a special someone might step into her life as well.

the love club by @tobiosmilktea

warnings: some angst, swearing, suggestive themes

atsumu miya finds himself getting love advice from a popular instagram hotline after getting dumped on his one-year anniversary. it just so happens that you’re the one having to deal with his bullshit

ctrl by @keijiwrld (on hiatus sm!au series)

warnings: angst, cheating, mentions of sex, swearing, toxic relationships

in which y/n finds herself wanting more out of her tainted relationship with miya atsumu even though it’s all out of her control

only fools fall for you by @beccascribbles

warnings: smut, angst

where atsumu is a notorious playboy and now he wants you.

returning the favor (sequel to only fools fall for you)

where you give atsumu a taste of his own medicine.

pseudo love by @kei-kui (ongoing series)

warnings: some manga spoilers, angst, drinking, cursing, suggestive

hot-shot volleyball player miya atsumu just can’t seem to get those pesky gossipers off his back. his solution? fake date someone so they’ll shut up about him being a playboy. but there’s only one problem- atsumu doesn’t know anyone who would want to pretend to be in love... sm!au, roommate!au, fake dating!au

how to fall in love: a guide by @shinsukesgf (ongoing series)

warnings: angst

maybe trying to get your crush, miya osamu, who you’ve been crushing on ever since first year to fall in love with you wasn’t exactly the smartest plan... especially if miya atsumu was behind it all. sm!au

the wrong reasons by @fukuronani (one-shot)

warnings: nsfw/smut, vaginal sex, blowjob, riding, some cock warming, dirty talk, crying, slight crack + angst + fluff

fwb trope!

miya osamu

angel by @fpwritings

warnings: smut, kinda rough sex, clothed sex, sorta face sitting??, unprotected sex, slight orgasm denial and overstim

just another day by @starfleetakaashi (drabble)

warnings: none

small cute osamu fluff!!

bet you never saw it coming by @wickedgamesoyaoya (finished sm!au series)

warnings: swearing, uncomfortable situations, accident mentions, blood, loss of loved one, dead animals.

former seijoh manager, y/n, had to move to accommodate her fathers job. all the while inarizaki high loses it’s current manager and are desperate for someone to fill the position. y/n may be the perfect candidate, outside of the fact she is far too blunt for her own good.

the art of cooking by @keigosbitch (ongoing series)

warnings: none

when her friends have had enough of her cursed breakfasts and setting off smoke alarms every other 3am, they take matters into their own hands and ask miya osamu to teach her the art of cooking.

suna rintaro

aesthetic by @tetsuwhore

warnings: smut in beginning, rest is fluffy

chill after sex tingz with suna.

not a crush by @prettyboi-keiji

warnings: none

love watches you from afar, notices the little things you do and makes an effort to make you smile. love also smiles whenever you are happy. it’s not just a crush, love knows when it is and when it is not.

rekindle by @prettyboi-keiji

warnings: some angst

after two years of being apart, reader and suna met again.

watch me by @sbspice (one-shot)

warnings: cheating, toxic relationships, mentions of pegging, mentions of a threesome, dom!suna, switch!reader (kinda?), both y’all asses but for good reason, forced voyeurism, fingering, non protective sex (wrap the banana y'all), cursing, slight size kink, slight dumbification, spanking, degradation, squirting, semi-clothed sex, surprise character:)

you get back at your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend.

high suna by @bjbex (drabble)

warnings: shotgunning, hotboxing, recreational drug use, oral (m receiving), under da influence

dirty by @kuroosrighttoe (one-shot)

warnings: degradation, spitting, spanking, oral, fingering, cursing

you were used to a lazy kind of love with your boyfriend, but that drastically changed in the bedroom.

who are you? by @bokukiyoom (ongoing sm!au series)

warnings: swearing, tiny angst

in which suna rintarou texts a stranger, y/n, instead of his teammate. their friendship doesn’t start off easily, but they get attached to one another in no time.

bet by @lovebot2-0 (drabble)

warnings: none

in which suna and the reader discuss a bet that kita, aran, y/n and the twins made.

shinsuke kita

farewell, mr almost by @keiyoomi (one-shot)

warnings: angsty

itachiyama

sakusa kiyoomi

jealous fuck buddy by @luna084

warnings: smut, jealous sex, degradation, oral (f receving), shower sex, not rlly without consent but kinda (?)

you’re in a ‘just fuck no strings attached’ relationship with the both of you secretly having feelings for each other. having found out you have history with atsumu during practice, he can’t contain his jealousy as he fucks you in the shower room.

precious by @msbyslut

warnings: daddy kink, spanking, dacryphilia literally always, facefucking, light size kink, dumbification, degradation, unprotected sex, mentions of aftercare

in short, sakusa doesn’t like when you act out.

go to sleep by @paripedia

warnings: none

sakusa + late nights.

it was never meant to be easy by @wickedgamesoyaoya

warnings: some angst, drinking in later chapters, past heartbreak, manipulation, toxic relationships, past kuroo x reader, some osamu x reader

y/n is bokuto’s childhood friend who doesn’t take anyone’s shit. what happens when she crosses paths with someone who is very much the opposite of her? will they match or will it be easier to walk away?

sakusa loves to please you by @jinkicake (one-shot)

warnings: oral (f receiving)

sakusa gives you head for the first time.

pegging sakura by @sunnyshoyou (one-shot)

warnings: pegging, dirty talk, degradation

clean by @jackrrabbit (one-shot)

warnings: masturbation (m)

sakusa can’t stop thinking about you in the shower

a quiet sort of love by @watevermelon (one shot)

warnings: none

manager to the fukurōdani volleyball club, there was no doubt that itachiyama’s sakusa kiyoomi was a strong ace. he brought your team to their knees on multiple occasions, but what you were not expecting was getting to know the nationally acclaimed spiker beyond just the titles and labels.

pose by @sbspice (one-shot)

warnings: 18+, sexual tension, sakusa being sakusa, he’s mean>:(, lingerie, clothed sex, degradation, no foreplay, size kink, creampie, explicit photos, dacryphilia, manager!reader, cameo of the msby boys

headcanons

fancy dinner date!! (ft kageyama tobio & akaashi keiji) by @sckusa

haikyuu boys meet your parents for the first time!! by @sugawaraxo

daichi with an s/o who has big boobs by @miinaashido

thigh kisses by @miinaashido

kenma having a crush on the team manager by @miinaashido

creampie headcanons (ft ushijima, oikawa, atsumu, osamu, kageyama, akaashi) by @vinncent

kuroo's crush on the karasuno manager by @peach-pops

dominant s/o (ft. oikawa, suga, bokuto) by @hikyoo

thigh highs (ft. captains) by @ahega0princess

fwb!suna by @rintarous

open up - spit kink (ft. atsumu, ushiwaka, tendou) by @writingbakery

spell coconut (ft. akaashi, semi, tanaka, & ushijima) by @jinkicake

dry (ft. hinata, kageyama, & akaashi) by @kageyamasthighs

post game (ft. sakusa kjyoomi) by @diem-my

short gf wants a kiss (ft. suna, akaashi, & osamu) by @beccascribbles

new ongoing series

sir pudding head by @softieshoto (kozume kenma)

warnings: none

kenma is a well known for his youtube channel and twitch streams for playing games and getting indie games out there. you are a huge fan so it’s normal for you to talk to other fan accounts about how cute kenma is right? it’s not like he is ever undercover or anything. sm!au

crush code by @the-broken-halo-writer (akaashi keiji, kuroo tetsuro)

warnings: jealousy, hints of underage drinking, sexual jokes, swearing

akaashi has had a crush on you from the moment he met you; the most he ever acted on those feelings was when he became your best friend. bokuto didn’t think it would have caused so much trouble to introduce you to kuroo. sm!au

idols by @bluberryparfait (semi eita)

warnings: some angst

in which semi falls in love with one of the members of a rookie girl group.

good girl by @dearkags (oikawa toru)

warnings: cursing, nsfw jokes, suggestive themes

with strict parents who expect nothing but perfect grades from their one and only daughter, y/n is also not allowed to have a boyfriend until she finishes her studies, and everyone at her school knows that. but what would happen, if the popular volleyball captain of her school sees her sneaking out with someone? sm!au

heather by @kingkagss (kuroo tetsuro)

warnings: angst, unrequited love

you’ve liked him for three years and no matter what you do he never seems to look at you that way. then she arrives, and you have never felt more out of place.

playboy by @simp4satori (suna rintaro)

warnings: suggestive themes, drinking, swearing

nothings better than a post-breakup glow. it seemed like everything was going your way. you were done with boys after all the bs they put you through. love was the last thing on your mind—or at least that’s what you thought before you met pro volleyball player suna rintarō.

17 asterisks by @toorusushijima

warnings: cussing

you send 17 asterisks to your friends about the guy you’d date before kuroo tetsurou. they try and figure out who it is and once they do, all hell breaks loose.

687 notes · View notes

percywinchester27 · 4 years ago

Text

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-40)

Word count: 4.8K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Fluff, angst, feels, sickness

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23. You’re a Rockstar <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

No one talked to you today, the whispers though, had escalated. No one was bothering to keep it quiet either. Not just your classmates, even the faculty kept giving you looks, ranging from distrust to pity. Professor Whitman, who never cared much about anything, took a whole minute to find you in the class and give you a once over, like he was seeing you for the first time- Sam Winchester’s flighty wife, back to ruin his life again.

The judgement you could take. The pity was painful. What did they see? A girl who couldn’t appreciate a good man? Or as much as you hated to think of it that way- a girl who couldn't be a mother again.

It came as a surprise when Jody called you to her office after the class. When you followed her in, she closed the door behind and unexpectedly pulled you into a hug.

“I’m sorry about all of this, Y/N,” she said. “It’s awful.”

You waited for her to let go of you then asked, “How much trouble is Sam in?”

Jody pursed her lips. “I want to say, ‘not much’ but we’ll only know on Monday, I suppose.”

“Are you part of the enquiry committee?”

She nodded. “All of the freshman faculty panel is on there. You have nothing to worry about, Y/N. Your grades are impeccable. You can’t possibly be sleeping with all of us.”

“I’m not even sleeping with Sam!” You let out, frustrated. “And I’m more worried about what happens to him.” You were a student. The most they could do is sack you from the students committee and bump down your grades.

Jody regarded you for a moment. “The two of you are so similar. It’s uncanny.”

She sighed. “I’ll be upfront with you, Y/N. As much as I’ve tried to shake them, Sam’s priorities are set. Even absent, you were very high up on that list. With you in front of him, there are very few things Sam wouldn’t give up for you.”

You already knew that. But was it right to let him make all those sacrifices for someone as undeserving as you?

The thought plagued you after you’d left Jody’s office, just as it had plagued you for the past two days. Outside, you ran into Madison.

“Oh, I was looking for you,” she said. “Sorry, I missed the first few lectures, but I have news for you. One good, one bad.”

“Bad one first,” you said, apprehensive.

Madison made a face. “Starting the day after tomorrow, I have no place to live.”

“What? Didn’t you have a lease for the whole year?”

“Lacey is screwing someone, who knows someone else who knows the hostel director. And, well, long story short, my lease got prematurely terminated.”

Anger flared inside you again. This was happening to Madison only because she was staunchly standing with you.

“I want you to come house hunting with me. My brother’s agreed to help me out with the money. So, I’m good to go.”

The idea popped up in your head immediately. “Why don’t you move in with me?”

Her eyebrows knitted together. “Meg?”

“Meg’s almost moved out next door. I was supposed to put out an add for a roommate but with everything that’s going on…” Convincing Meg to continue with the move had been very difficult. She thought it was some sort of betrayal to leave you by yourself in all this mess. Cas supported her on that. However, everyone was camping in your living room anyway.

Ultimately, you had to put your foot down and tell her to move her ass out. Your life might always remain a tragedy. It shouldn’t pause her or Cas’s life. She had still slept on your sofa last night.

“You’re serious?” Madison was trying her best to contain her excitement.

“As a heart attack.”

She let out a loud squeal and tackled you. “This is the best thing ever. We’ll be roomies!”

“Not if you call me that.”

Madison’s laughter rang out in your ears. “Now you’ve already offered. You can’t take it back, roomie.”

“Wait, what’s the good news?”

Her face split into a huge grin. “I heard from the HR at Acton Gris. They won’t hire me as an intern. But she asked me to apply for the position of summer associate next year. She said my chances looked great.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“Yes! I’m thinking of applying for an on campus job this year.”

Madison was sincere, smart and she worked very hard. No wonder good things were in store for her. “Let me talk to Molly today. See if she has some inside intel on vacancies.”

“You’d do that?” Madison couldn’t stop beaming and you smiled right along with her. “The world is a much better place with you in it.”

Not everyone thought that. Following the pattern of the past few days, Rebecca decided to show her face again after the lecture. You had been expecting her at this point. Maybe she couldn’t sleep without venting off her frustration on you. As usual, she had Lacey next to her, who really had gone fully darkside.

“Missing your Professor?”

You saw Madison start, but Rebecca put in. “Oh, stop being her Lapdog, Maxwell. You don’t have to rollover each time she blows a whistle.”

“It’s alright, Maddie,” you said in a calm voice. “As it happens, I do miss him very much.”

“I hope at least the sex was worth it,” said Lacey.

You grinned at her. “Mind-blowing, actually. I remember this one time, I was screaming his name for literal hours. God, the things that man can do. It’s in-credi-ble.” You drew out the last word with a relish.

Lacey’s jaw dropped.

Rebecca recovered quickly. “Christ! You’re shameless. That man’s married with a son. Have you got no shame at all?”

“Weren’t you the one making out with Sam at Maddie’s birthday party in the bar restroom?” You shot back. “I remember you described the bit about feeling his abs in extreme details. He wore his wedding ring around his neck. So how are you not shameless?”

Rebecca’s face reddened in an instant. “What… how…?”

“Doesn’t feel so good when the finger is pointed at you. Right, Rebecca? When you’re the one being put on a spot and your character is being brought into question. It was okay for you to make out with a professor. Why are the rules so different for me?”

“I- I was drunk that night. And I never slept with him!”

“Don’t you dare paint him in that light. As if you were some drunk woman he took advantage of in a toilet cubicle.” You spat. “You’re so desperate that you don’t think twice about lying over something so demeaning. You didn’t touch Sam because at 2 in the night, he wasn’t even there in that bar. So shut that bullshit.”

There was a crowd gathered around you now, and she didn’t like her words coming back to bite her.

“How do you know where Sam was that night?” Rebecca questioned, clearly baffled and out of her element, but trying to salvage the situation and save face.

You rolled your eyes. “We’re having an affair, remember? Keep up, Rebecca. You filed that complaint. Also, don’t worry about his wife, really. She totally doesn’t mind.” You winked.

The murmur around you was starting to intensify. You didn’t know how long it would be before the actual story came out. Or if it ever would come out. Neither did you care. You didn’t owe an explanation to any of these people.

Rebecca breathed out harshly, and spoke through her teeth, contempt dripping in each word. “You’re disgusting. That child of his-”

“Don’t. Don’t utter a word about that boy,” you hissed, the anger finally burning through. “You’ve done enough harm to Sam’s reputation. But I swear to God, Rebecca, you’ll live to regret it if you so much as dare to think about Max, you deplorable excuse of a living thing.”

The warning was so raw, she flinched back from you as you stormed out.

Madison did not follow you to the library. She knew when you wanted to be left alone. Attacking Sam was one thing, but you really did want to rip Rebecca’s throat for wanting to bring Max in the middle of it. The fierce protectiveness you felt for him was like nothing else you had experienced before.

Throughout the following hour, you kept glancing at the door of the library, expecting Max to walk in. Sam had said he would visit.

Maybe you would ask him to read out to you today. If anything, that could fix your mood.

“Umm… Y/N?”

You looked up to see Molly standing over you.

“Hey. I didn’t see you there.”

She shuffled from one foot to the other looking at you awkwardly.

You squared your shoulders, realising what she might’ve heard. “Anything you want?”

“I- I wanted to say sorry.”

That brought you up short. “Why?”

Molly ran her fingers through her red hair. “I didn’t know you were… you know… Sam’s wife, and I said horrible stuff to you the other day.”

It hadn’t actually been that horrible.

“I’d heard the rumours but I swear I didn’t believe a word. Then I ran into Chase Lincoln yesterday. He told me.”

“Everything?”

Molly nodded sadly. “It was wrong of me to make assumptions, Y/N. What happened in Sam’s life was none of my business. And for the reason you left to be so horrifying? I could have never imagined. I’m really, really sorry. I don’t know how to apologize.”

“Stop saying sorry,” you said at once. “I know you’ve always meant well for Sam and for me, Molly. Everyone likes to gossip. It’s no big deal. You didn’t hurt or offend me.”

“There must be something I can do, novia.”

“Never bring it up again. Please. Let’s just forget that conversation happened.”

You saw her eyes start to fill up. “Take the rest of the week off, yeah? Come back Monday.”

“You’re low on staff already.” You did not want anyone’s sympathy.

“I’m not doing this for you,” she said. “Spend the weekend with Sam. He’ll need a distraction more than ever before that hearing on Monday. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Molly disappeared into the librarian’s room before the waterworks started. She didn’t want you to see her tear up so you didn’t follow her in, continuing with your sideways glances at the door. The sharp ring of your phone made you jump.

“Hello?” You answered the unknown number

“Y/N? It’s Alex. Sam left me your number in case of emergencies.” She sounded frantic.

“Is everything okay?”

“Can you please come over? Max is really sick and… he’s… he’s asking for you.”

*****

Instead of knocking on the door, you straight up punched the security key and barged into the house.

“Max? Alex?”

“Up here!” You heard Alex’s voice. Taking two steps at a time you made it to Max’s room. Your chest contracted, seeing Max in the bed. He was curled up on his side, cheeks wet, face puffy from crying.

Alex was sitting on a chair next to him, distressed.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, rushing to Max’s side and placing a hand against his forehead. He was burning up.

“I don’t know,” said Alex, “He was fine when I picked him up from school. He said he was feeling sick half an hour ago and now he’s running a fever. I tried calling his usual doctor but it says the number doesn’t exist anymore. He’s been crying and calling out for Sam and... you.”

“Did you try Sam?”

“He’s not reachable.”

“Max, honey, what’s wrong?” You asked as gently as you could. “Do you hurt somewhere?”

He opened his eyes and your heart lurched at the tears in them. “Stomach. My stomach hurts. I want dad.”

“Sam will be home at night. He’ll be with you.” You turned to Alex. “Is he allergic to something?”

“Not that I know of.”

You were sure he hadn’t had outside food in at least a week, so food poisoning was out.

“Does your body hurt, baby?”

Max nodded slowly, drawing into himself. “And my head.”

“Alex, could you please find the first aid box and get me a thermometer?”

She scampered off to find it, relieved to have someone else take charge of the situation. Keeping one hand on Max’s forehead, you reached out for your purse with the other and pulled out your phone. Thankfully, the number was on the speed dial. He picked up the phone on the second ring.

“Cas, where are you?”

“At the hospital. Everything okay?”

“No. Max is running a high fever. I’d guess around 101. He says he’s feeling sick, and has stomach and body ache.”

There was a pause, then Cas said. “Can you drive him to the hospital? Bring him directly to the paeds ward on the 7th floor. I’ll see you there in fifteen minutes.”

Alex was back with the thermometer. 102.3. Thankfully, she had a license and Claire’s car was in their driveway. You asked her to bring it out front.

After she left, you gently coaxed Max into a sitting position, he looked drowsy and was still sniffling a little. “Honey, listen to me. You’re going to have to deal with a little inconvenience, okay? We’re going to drive you to the hospital very quickly.”

“Hospital?” He mumbled. eyes filling up again.

“It’s just Cas there,” you soothed him. “You remember Cas, right? We all played jenga together.”

Max opened his mouth to say something, instead his eyes widened and threw up over the front of your sweater and into your lap.

He started crying immediately. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Your eyes filled up. “It’s okay, baby. It’s no big deal.” You removed the puke covered sweater and used to wipe away the vomit stuck to your jeans. “See, it’s all gone. No need to worry at all.”

The retching had left him weak and shivering.

“Just stay put a minute.” You hurriedly tossed your sweater in the hamper by the door, and pulled on one of Sam’s overlarge shirts over your T-shirt. Once back, you grabbed Max’s grey blanket and wrapped it around him. Slinging your purse around your torso, you lifted him in your arms and carried into the car that was already waiting at the curb. You held Max close to your chest in the backseat, whispering soft reassurances in his ears.

Just as Alex pulled up in front of the hospital, Max threw up on you again. It made him cry harder. You realised it was not just humiliating for him, he was missing his dad terribly.

“Max, honey, it’s totally okay,” you assured him, kissing his brow. “I used to throw up so much as a kid, gran used to call me projectile Y/N. Just puke all around me all the time. Hell, ask your dad. He held my hair when I threw up in the toilet. It’s my jam. And we’ve got a towel now. Let’s clean you up, okay?”

Thankfully, the blanket wasn’t soiled, so you could keep it around him as you carried him in the lift.

Cas was waiting for you there. He immediately guided you to a bed and laid Max down on it. You started to step back.

“Y/N, don’t go,” Max rasped out.

“I’m right here, Chirp. I’m not going anywhere, but Cas needs to take a look at you.”

Max still reached out with his hand. You looked at Cas. He gave you a quick nod and you rushed to Max’s side once more, grasping his outstretched fingers tightly. Cas pressed Max’s tummy, asking where exactly it hurt, then checked the temperature again along with the pulse. You watched apprehensively as Cas pulled down Max’s eyelids and asked more questions. Meanwhile, the chills kept getting worse.

“It looks like he’s caught a viral fever. The nurse outside told me it’s been doing a round at the school. We’ve had many kids this week.”

“Why is he throwing up then?”

“It’s probably the phlegm. I don’t think there’s a reason to worry. I’ll give him an IV with paracetamol and nausea suppressants. He’ll feel much better in a few hours.” Cas hesitated. “Maybe you should ask Sam before we start the treatment. Only he can sign off on the papers. You’ll need the details of the health insurance.”

“I can’t get to him. We’ve been trying non-stop.”

Would Sam want you to make such decisions on his behalf? Max was looking paler than usual and was clearly in pain. You couldn’t wait till midnight to start him on medication. It was killing you to see him hurting like this.

“Screw the insurance. I’ll pay whatever the bill comes out to be… and I’ll sign off on the papers as well.”

Cas gave you an apprehensive look. “Y/N?”

“Look,” you said through your teeth, “I’m still his legal guardian. I have that right. Just start him on the medication. I can’t bear to see him like this.”

“Alright.” Cas said something to the nurse behind him who rushed out and then came back with a syringe.

“This is going to hurt just a little, Max,” Cas said, flicking at the needle.

You crouched down next to Max’s head. “You’re my brave boy, aren’t you? One little prick and that will be all. You’ll feel so much better afterwards. Can you do that?”

Max gave you one quick jerk of his neck. “Close your eyes.” He did.

Cas pushed the needle into the tiny crease of Max’s arm and you flinched, tears pouring down your cheeks. Max did not even make a whimper. The nurse stuck a piece of white tape over the puncture mark after Cas was done.

“You need to swallow these two little tablets,” Cas said, handing them to Max along with a glass of water. Max looked at you and you nodded encouragingly. Without any fuss, he did as Cas said. You hugged Max very tightly to your chest. “You’re the bravest little thing in this world, you know that? And I’m so damn proud of you. You get every cookie you can think of when you feel better, yeah?”

“We’ll keep him here till the nausea subsides,” said Cas. “Once he feels better, you can take him home.”

Cas seemed concerned, but it wasn’t directed at Max- which made you feel better. It was directed at you. “You better sign off on those papers, Y/N.”

“Can you please bring them here?” You pleaded. “I don’t want to leave Max.” The boy in question was still hugging your middle tightly.

“Of course.”

It was with shivering hands that you filled out the form. You stared at the paper for a whole minute before ticking off on the small box in the relationship to the patient column against mother. Max had fallen asleep in your arms and the tears just wouldn’t stop. You knew he was going to be okay, the fever was already coming down and he had stopped shivering. Sweat dewed up on his forehead.

Occasionally you wiped it off with the back of your sleeve.

But you were terrified of this feeling- like the world would go dark if a single wrong thing happened to this boy. There was a point in your life when you were ready to own up to this feeling, looking forward to it even- and then you had lost it, along with every other emotion in your heart. Since the day you had met Max, you’d been dancing along the edge of the precipice of this very feeling- this selfless, immense love. Not ready to take the leap. Scared that you’d be shattered if you did.

Were you scared of being a bad mother? Or were you simply scared of being a mother?

As you sat there, alone, in the small clinical room, with Max softly snoring in your lap, you realised that what you truly feared above and beyond everything was giving in to feeling this love and losing it again.

If you accepted him as your son, and then something happened to him, you wouldn’t make it out of it alive. Literally. Not accepting Sam’s love and a place in his and Max’s life was not only a product of your doubts and self-hatred. It was a plain survival instinct. The epiphany was so strong, it left you breathless.

You felt a hand against your shoulder. Cas’s blue eyes were sympathetic in their depth. “You can take him home now, Y/N.” He didn’t try to reassure you beyond it. He had a subtle way of comforting without saying the words out loud.

You called Alex again, who had been reading in the waiting room and she drove you back to Max’s place. He’d been asleep through the ride, right until you put him to bed. Insisting that Alex go back home and study for her exams, you stripped down to your tank top, pulled on a pair of Sam’s tracks. After making sure that Max was still out, you cleaned up your clothes, and the mess on the floor and side of Max’s bed. You didn’t dare close the door of the bathroom, lest Max call out to you and you couldn’t answer.

Taking the chance, you made some chicken soup for him, and only then did you wake him up, gently.

Max called out for Sam the moment he opened his eyes and your heart broke again. Doing your best to reassure him that Sam was on his way, you cajoled Max into changing out of his dirty clothes and into fresh ones.

He refused to eat the soup, but with soft insistence, you persuaded him to finish half a bowl of it.

“You’ll read to me?” He said in a muted, dull voice as you tucked him back in the bed.

“Of course, sweetheart, what do you want me to read?”

“Anything.”

You looked around the room, your eyes landing on the only book over his nightstand.

“Alright, here we go.” You flipped to the page with a bookmark. “We could not wait for Atticus to come home for dinner, but called and said we had a big surprise for him. He seemed surprised when he saw most of the back yard in the front yard, but he said we had done a jim-dandy job. “I didn’t know how you were going to do it,” he said to Jem, “but from now on I’ll never worry about what’ll become of you, son, you’ll always have an idea...”

*********

It was stupid and incredibly irresponsible on Sam’s part to let his phone drain out completely. Even worse, he’d left it to charge in the meeting room and forgotten to check it in the next couple of hours while he met with the children in the boy’s home. He came back to 17 missed calls and 23 text messages- from Alex and Y/N.

Max was sick and he’d had no idea.

Sam had frantically called first thing after going through the texts. Y/N had picked up only to whisper that Max was better and asleep, and that Sam needn’t worry. For the next five hours, Sam worried ceaselessly anyway. It drove Chase up the wall, but he played his music loudly in the car all the way till Sam dropped him off and didn’t point out how Sam was a total maniac.

The clock on his dashboard blinked 1:22 as he made the bend to his house.

Sam parked the car all wrong in the driveway, barely giving it a second thought before running inside. He should’ve been quieter, knowing Max was asleep, but the anxiety barely kept his legs moving. He would have continued at the same rate through Max’s door if the scene before him hadn’t made him stop.

On the bed, Max was sleeping peacefully. He was dressed in a thin cotton t-shirt, the lower half of his body was covered in his blanket. That wasn’t what made Sam stop. Y/N was curled up beside him, her arm thrown around Max, who was nextled so comfortably in her embrace that he belonged there. Max’s book was balanced over Y/N’s hip, wedged open on the page she had been reading out of. On the nightstand, stood a bowl of cold soup, half empty, along with water and strips of medicine. The table on Y/N’s side held a cooking pot filled with water and a washcloth lay dipped in it. She’d been nursing him- from fever or the sweat, Sam couldn’t say.

Slowly, he walked up to Max, and very very carefully placed the back of his hand on his forehead. No fever.

Sam looked about himself. The floor was strewn with Max’s clothes that smelled like he had been sick over them. Sam picked up the clothes and carried them to the washing machine. Inside was already a dry load of clothes that belonged to Y/N and him. So Max had thrown up on her. More than once.

Sam knew from the messages that Y/N had taken Max to the hospital- had her friend, whom she trusted implicitly take a look at his son, signed the papers as his guardian and paid the bill out of her pocket.

The thought occurred to Sam as he undressed for the night. In that last message, Y/N had apologised for signing off on Sam’s behalf, as if he could ever be mad at her for dropping whatever she was doing to look after his son, the way a mother would.

Sam understood now why Max had thrown a fit when Sam had forbidden him from seeing Y/N. It had hurt Sam that he couldn’t be enough for Max, that Max was looking for something more in Y/N. But seeing them together now, Sam could see he had been completely wrong. Max wasn’t asking something more, he’d been asking for what already belonged to him- Y/N’s love. Max had been right all along.

Sam pulled the covers and duvet off his bed and dragged to Max’s room where he laid them out at the foot of Max’s bed, so he’d be sleeping next to him on the floor. An alarm started going off on Y/N’s phone, and Sam jumped to turn it off. It was already 2 O’ clock. She had set successive alarms for every hour of the night, Sam presumed to check on Max. Sam turned off all of them. He was home now, he could take care of it.

He checked Max’s temperature once more- still normal- and then bent down to place a kiss on his forehead. It was almost November. Max always had bouts of viral or flu in the cold months. He should have foreseen it. If Y/N hadn’t been around…

The expression on her face was so peaceful as she held onto his boy, tears sprang into Sam’s eyes. This was everything he wanted in his life. Everything. Right in front of him. He bent down once more and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. She didn’t wake at his touch, but adjusted herself closer to Max on the tiny bed, the book falling off her hip with a soft thud onto the thick carpet.

Sam lay down on the floor, thinking of a night very long ago when Y/N had fallen asleep on the sofa in his house, back in Lawrence. He’d read to her from this very book that night- for the first time. Sam had slept besides her on the floor that night as well. A writer would have called the parallel poetic… but Sam saw it for what it was, shrouded in a mist of uncertainty all around him- a haunting ache inside his soul.

He couldn’t thank her for what she’d done for his Max today- not only would that gesture be insufficient, it would be insulting. No, Sam wouldn’t thank her. Instead, he would check up on Max every hour, make her breakfast in bed, and iron her clothes before she woke up, so she wouldn't be late for classes tomorrow. He would pack her a lunch and kiss her goodbye at the door. Maybe she would see through him and understand how incredibly grateful he was for today… and how tragically hopeful he was for the future, when he could do these simple things everyday without the excuse of an unsaid thank you.

“I love you, Darling,” he whispered. “It can only ever be you.”

*****************************

A/N 2: It’s been a hard, awful few days. I must be made up of stronger stuff than I thought I was.

Please do let me know if you liked this part. Reblogs and comments are very much appreciated.

Five more chapters to go!

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mischiefandspirits · 3 years ago

Text

Six Eggs in the Nest

Bruce returns from his trip through time to discover that not only had his kids grown, but so had his family. An old face had reappeared in his absence.

Part of the Six for the Age of One AU

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How are you feeling?”

…

“Come on, Bruce,” Clark sighed. “As subtle as it might be, your heart rate still changes when you wake up.”

Bruce grunted, not opening his eyes.

“Good to know your trip through time didn’t affect your language skills.”

“What did I miss?”

“Nothing of note on the League’s front,” J’onn reported and Bruce finally opened his eyes to see the martian was looking over Bruce’s vitals.

“Just business as usual,” Diana agreed from the doorway.

Bruce turned to Clark, who was sitting in a chair next to Bruce’s hospital bed. “Gotham?”

Clark gave a soft smile and answered the unasked question, “The kids are fine. They’d be here, but I guess Ivy and Freeze got into a fight just as they were about to leave and Penguin tried to use the distraction of the fight to move cargo or something.”

“I checked in with them just before you woke,” Diana said before Bruce could get worked up. “In Oracle’s words, I threw Harley at Ivy and Nightwing, Signal, and Corvid smashed Freeze’s helmet so that fight’s basically won. Batwoman reported that her team had taken down Penguin and were supervising the cargo’s transport to the evidence locker before heading in.”

Bruce nodded, relaxing. “I’d assume Batwoman is Stephanie. Nightwing… Dick?”

“Yeah,” Clark said, looking smug. “And Corvid is Damian. Tim’s going by Ghost Bat now.”

“When you disappeared, they all stepped up to become heroes worthy of your legacy,” Diana said. “You would be proud of how strong they’ve been.”

“I am proud.” He simply wished he’d been there to see them through the transition. “How long was I gone?”

“A year,” J’onn said, apologetically and Bruce nodded.

That was longer than it had been for him, but not by too much. A year though…

He’d missed most of the kids’ final year of high school. He’d missed their graduation. He’d missed helping them sign up for college.

Was Duke enjoying his literature studies? Did Stephanie go through with her plans to start the pre-med track or make good on her jokes about taking a year off? Was Damian able to decide between a business or veterinary medicine major? Had Tim figured out what he wanted to do? Did Dick change his mind about not continuing school?

And little Carrie was still so young. Would she even remember Bruce?

“What’s the cover story for Bruce Wayne’s disappearance? And Batman’s?” Bruce asked, pushing the rest down. “I’ll need to figure out how to spread out my appearances so no one becomes suspicious.”

The three shared a look and Bruce’s eyes narrowed.

“It’s not that simple,” Diana said slowly.

“I’ve been standing in for Bruce Wayne with Timothy’s help,” J’onn said. “It was Duke’s idea. Richard had taken up your mantle, but he wasn’t able to convince those who really knew Batman so I was going to pretend to be you until enough time had passed that we could fake your death without it being connected to the change in Batman. Then Timothy and Damian found evidence that you were alive so we’ve kept up the ruse.”

Bruce nodded. It was a good idea, even if Bruce didn’t exactly feel comfortable knowing the martian had been impersonating him for so long. Something else caught his mind, though. “If Dick is Batman, why is he also going by Nightwing?”

“Dick was Batman for a while, but… someone else is Batman now,” Clark said, uncertainly.

“Who?”

“We don’t know. The children won’t tell us,” Diana said. “They’re as stubborn and secretive as their father.”

“About six months ago Batman just… changed,” Clark explained. “We didn’t notice at first since Richard was still the one showing up for Justice League stuff, then Nightwing appeared in the news. It was pretty obvious Nightwing was Dick. We thought that maybe he was setting up his own hero for when you came back, but Batman was seen working with Nightwing and all the rest of the boys. He’s also more…”

“Vicious?” J’onn offered. “And dramatic, but in a grim way. His fighting style is firmer as well, in a way Dick couldn’t manage no matter how much he held himself back. His Batman is more genuine than Dick’s. To the point that, from what we’ve gathered, those who realized he had replaced you already think you’re back.”

“We tried asking Dick the next time he came up for a meeting, but all he’d say was that he wasn’t ready to see us,” Diana added. “Clark went to Gotham -”

Bruce glared at the kryptonian.

“I know, I know. Your kids caught me within minutes and Stephanie gave me a lecture you’d be proud of. And don’t act like you’re not burning with curiosity. Do you even have an idea who it could be?”

“Did you find out anything?” Bruce redirected and Clark shook his head.

“I couldn’t see much because the cowl is as lead-lined as you always had it and he got out of there fast once Stephanie intercepted me. He was tall and broad like you and what skin I saw was fair, so he couldn’t be any of the boys.”

That… didn’t add up. Who would the boys have trusted with Batman? “I need to get home.”

All three looked like they wanted to argue, but J’onn unhooked him from the monitors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cave was empty when Bruce teleported in, though the still-warm cup of tea next to the Batcomputer’s keyboard and the lit-up screens showed that Alfred had recently been monitoring the comms before stepping out for a moment.

“- anything yet?” came Robin’s -- Nightwing’s -- voice when Bruce hit the button to unmute the main comm line.

“Wonder Woman said he was still unconscious when she checked in,” Oracle answered.

“Batman, Batwoman, and I will be at the cave in a minute. The two of us can head up immediately and report back,” Ghost Bat offered.

“Speak for yourself,” Batwoman huffed. “You can hang around Wonder Woman smelling like a sewer all you want, but I need a shower.”

“You will wait for us or I will give all your sweatshirts to Goliath as nesting materials, Ghost!” Corvid snapped.

“Nah, Goliath can do better than G’s hoodies. Besides, he’ll just go steal some from Metro. I’m pretty sure half the ones he’s got now are clone boy’s anyways,” laughed a voice Bruce didn’t recognize. Batman’s, he assumed. Something about it nagged at him, but he couldn’t place it. He was sure he knew the person though. Was he altering his voice for the suit like Bruce did? It didn’t have the growl, but maybe he was just making his voice deeper. If his voice was higher…

Bruce was torn out of his musings by a snarl. He turned to see a large groenendael stalking towards him. Behind the dog was a massive pillow with five other dogs atop it. A Great Dane was stretched out regally at one end, wagging his tail but otherwise not paying Bruce any attention. A lab and a pit bull were flopped over each other limply in the middle, fast asleep. A German shepherd was standing on the other end, just as alert as the groenendael without the aggression. A Chihuahua was similarly eyeing Bruce from her spot tucked under the Great Dane’s chin, kept quiet and still only by the larger dog’s presence.

Bruce wasn’t surprised the dogs had invaded the cave in his absence. He could only hope Goliath and Wiggles had continued to be cut off in their separate portions of the cave and Alfred the Cat hadn’t been allowed to torment the bats.

He knelt and held out his hand. “It’s alright, Jane. It’s just me.”

The groenendael quieted at his voice and continued approaching him. The closer she got, the more relaxed she became until she was close enough to cheerfully lick and nuzzle at his hand as an apology for growling.

“It’s okay, girl. You’re doing a good job protecting the cave while everyone’s out.”

Ace was at his side in an instant to sniff him over for injuries and nose his neck in a greeting Bruce easily returned. Titus yawned and turned away as things calmed down, which allowed Ami to leap to her feet. She gave two quick yaps at Bruce, then stomped over to curl up on a corner of the pillow. Haley and Hazel slept on.

A moment later the roar of an engine echoed through the cave, heralding the arrival of the Batmobile. Bruce’s spot was slightly hidden from the vehicle bay, so he had the chance to observe the three that climbed out.

Batwoman’s suit wasn’t too dissimilar to the one Barbara had donned during those two short years she’d held the mantle. All Stephanie had altered was swapping out the red on the bat, belt, cape lining, and wig for her signature eggplant.

Ghost Bat’s suit was black, sleeveless, and made from the same lightweight armor Tim and Dick always used. A grey bat was across the chest, the color matching his gauntlets. He wore a cape and cowl like Batwoman’s, though the cape lining and wig were grey. The wig was also cut short to match Tim’s chin-length locks instead of Stephanie’s chest-length curls.

Batman’s suit, at first glance, looked exactly like Bruce’s. On closer inspection, though, it appeared thinner, closer to the medium bulk armor Damian and Stephanie used. There were also knives hidden across the suit and the cape was shorter than Bruce kept it. His build appeared to be just as Clark described, but Bruce knew the suit enough to tell it was making him look broader in the shoulders and the boots’ soles were altered to make him look shorter. Bruce estimated him to be a few inches taller than himself and around Duke’s width. The visible portion of his face was a pale beige, distinctly different from Dick’s olive tone or the other boys’ darker skin colors.

“- soft and roomy!” Ghost was arguing. “It’s no different than you stealing Bruce’s!”

Batman shot him a perfect Bat-Glare, as the kids called it. “I don’t have any of his sweaters!”

“That’s because after you steal them, Alfred always washes them and puts them back in B’s closet,” Stephanie snorted, pulling down her cowl. She gave him a wink when he turned the glare on her. “Just because you only wear them to bed doesn’t mean we don’t notice. Also, Tim’s stolen horde isn’t just Kon’s. He also got some of mine, Cassie’s, Duke’s, Damian’s, and yours in there. Dick’s and Cissie’s aren’t baggy enough and Bart’s are scratchy. He’s also got one of Kori’s because he took it thinking it was Babs’ and now he’s too embarrassed to give it back.”

“STEPHANIE!” Ghost shouted as Batman snapped, “Is that where my green hoodie went?”

Stephanie snickered as she turned to head deeper into the cave. Her eyes caught Bruce’s and she froze.

“What’s wrong?” Batman asked and he and Ghost followed her gaze.

“Kids,” Bruce said after a moment of trying to figure out what to say.

Batman stiffened and Stephanie smiled. “Hey, B.”

Ghost shot forward, but stopped just before he reached Bruce, looking like he was barely holding back from throwing himself at Bruce.

Bruce took the decision away from him by pulling the boy into a hug. He pulled down the cowl to press a kiss to the top of Tim's head as the boy started to shake slightly with silent tears.

“So B’s here,” Stephanie said and he heard her voice echo through the comm in Tim’s ear.

“What!?”

“He’s supposed to be resting on the Watchtower.”

“Of course they couldn’t keep Father contained.”

“We’re on our way.”

“You’re here,” Tim whispered and Bruce pressed another kiss to his head.

“I am. I’m so sorry for being gone.”

“Tim’s the one who found you,” Stephanie said as she walked up. “Or, well, he’s the one who made it possible for the JL to find you.”

“I heard. I’m so proud.”

“Damian helped,” Tim muttered, burying his reddening face further into Bruce’s chest.

Bruce rubbed his back for a few seconds, then pulled away so Tim could pick up the Chihuahua nudging up against his ankle. He made sure Ami was helping Tim calm down before nodding at Stephanie. However, he soon found his gaze shifting back to the unknown factor.

Batman was still standing where he’d been the last time Bruce checked. He looked frozen in place, only his hand having shifted so that it could rest on Jane’s cheek. The groenendael was staring up at him as she licked and nuzzled at his wrist and hip in an effort to draw him back from wherever he was, though Bruce doubted he could feel it through the suit.

She must have realized it too as a moment later she stood up on her hind legs with her forepaws on Batman’s chest so she could lick at his chin instead, snapping him out of it enough that he looked away.

It was then that Stephanie glanced over her shoulder to see what Bruce was staring at. “Shoot.”

“What?” Tim asked, tucking Ami to his chest. He looked at Stephanie, then Batman, then his eyes shot to Bruce. “Oh. Crud. We really meant to do this slowly.”

“Are you two going to introduce me?” Bruce grunted.

His eyes were still on the stranger, but he could see both eighteen-year-olds open their mouths to respond. Before they could, Batman nudged Jane off and reached up to pull down his hood.

Bruce’s breath caught in his throat.

“Hey, Dad,” Jason said, running his fingers through his black and white hair.

Ace nudged Bruce’s side, just under his ribs.

He took a breath, then another.

“What part of do this slowly didn’t you get, Jay!”

“We all know he wasn’t going to rest until he figured out who I am. I’m just ripping off the band-aid.”

“This isn’t my Earth,” Bruce said.

The three shared a look and Tim pressed into Bruce’s other side. “It is.”

“My Jason is…”

“Dead?” Jason finished. “Yeah, it, uh, didn’t take. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Not the time, Jay!” Steph sighed. “Come on, Old Man. You look awful. We’ll explain once you’re sitting down.”

Bruce’s hands itched to grab Jason. To grab him and pull him close and never let him go again.

He kept his hands to himself as he followed the kids to the meeting table. They had just enough time to get settled when the elevator dinged and Alfred stepped out with a fussing Carrie in his arms.

The butler took in the group, then gave Bruce a pointed look. “You are meant to be resting.”

“I had to check on the kids.”

“Of course you did.” Alfred came forward to deposit Carrie into the arms of her honorary grandfather then set a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “It’s good to have you back, Master Bruce. We’ve all missed you.”

Bruce nodded and looked down at the toddler.

She blinked up at him before smiling and poking his cheek. “Boosie back!”

“Yeah, Sweetheart, I’m back,” he said, voice hoarse.

Three motorcycles shot into the cave, the boys on them quickly jumping off. Bruce set Carrie on his knee as he took in his rapidly approaching sons.

Nightwing’s suit was similar to Ghost Bat’s, though his had sleeves and he had just a domino in place of the cape and cowl. The suit was black with a cobalt V across the chest that resembled a bird. The wings stretched all the way to the shoulders then ran down the sleeves to end at the tips of his middle and ring fingers. The blue color carried over to his domino mask and the trim of his boots. A pair of escrima sticks poked out from behind him and black pouches were connected to the waist of the suit like a built-in utility belt.

Corvid’s suit was black with a matching utility belt and carried the same moderate bulk Damian preferred. A long, hooded jacket sat over the suit, sleeveless and colored sapphire with white trim. It sat open, revealing the white outline of a bird stretched across his chest. The suit was finished off with a black domino mask with equally black lenses and tall emerald boots.

Signal’s suit looked the same as it had when Bruce was sent away, and Bruce took comfort in the fact that not everything had changed.

Stephanie ducked down for a quick hug, then removed her daughter from Bruce’s lap so she wasn’t crushed when Nightwing threw himself into it a second later.

“You’re so stupid for running off from the Watchtower, but I’m glad you’re back.”

“I’m fine,” Bruce said, holding the boy close with one arm as he reached out to grab his youngest’s hand.

Corvid squeezed back as he glanced over Bruce, then let go and left to take a seat.

After giving Bruce a quick hug around Nightwing, Signal went to grab his own seat as well. He pulled off his helmet and looked pointedly at Jason before turning back to Bruce. “Guess it’s storytime, huh?”

“You couldn’t even keep it a secret for five minutes?” Damian tisked after he’d removed his mask.

“He was ripping off the band-aid,” Tim mocked.

“We all know how obsessive B gets when someone puts a mystery in front of him,” Jason huffed, throwing his hands in the air.

“It is something you’ve all inherited from him,” Alfred hummed as he began to set cups of tea in front of everyone except Carrie, who got a sippy cup of warm milk.

Dick squirmed around so he could remove his mask and accept his cup of tea, then made himself comfortable in his father’s lap.

“You’re getting too old for this,” Bruce teased, wrapping his arms around the eighteen-year-old, and Dick shushed him.

“Where should we start?” Stephanie asked.

#batfam #batman #bruce wayne #Jason Todd #Robins are the Same Age AU #fanfiction #64ao1

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ketchupqueenboiiii · 4 years ago

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Teen Titans

A/N: Raven, Damian, BB, and Mari are 15-16. Dick, Victor, and Kori are late twenties. Jaime is 17ish. One scene inspired by I Would Like One Family Please, by Celestial_Void_the_3rd on AO3

@maribat-2k20

Marinette and Damian never hid anything from each other. There was never a true reason to. They grew up together, they were developed in incubators next to each other, they received training along with each other. Their chambers were separated by a curtain. They were each other's most trusted confidant.

Even after they left the League of Assassins, they stuck together. He knew about her being polysexual and her about his desire to try crossdressing. But apparently, that's still not everything.

Marinette was just plainly walking in down a hallway. It was almost dinner time and she wanted to try out a new vegan macaron recipe so they could have it for dessert. She had her freshly printed instructions in hand, still warm from the printer. She was in full chef mode. When she saw it.

Damian, her brother; her twin; her best friend, in full lip-lock with, her crush, Raven.

Not that either know about the last part. Mari had feelings for Raven since they were fourteen and she hadn't acted on them other than having especially rosy cheeks around the empath. You would think she'd pick up on these feeling quickly.

But, alas, not even her brother knew. She couldn't bring herself to say it. Maybe it was her subconscious keeping her from embarrassing herself even further.

The girl slowly retreats, banking on the assumption her brother is too occupied to be aware. Once she was safely out of range, she allowed her self to feel. She darted to her room to change while texting Kori that she was going to be late to dinner. Marinette was on autopilot mode from there on.

She didn't really wake up until she found herself on the roof of Unbe-leaf-able, a vegan restaurant/café they frequent in and out of costume. One of the only places that can really pull off cauliflower crust pizza, too.

She sits on the ledge of a nearby building, unnoticed due to the darkening night and the height of the establishment. Starring down at her unopened take out box, she notices it has several droplets of clear liquid on it. Her eyebrows furrow in confusion as she raises her hand to tell if its raining. When she determines that it's not, her face grimaces in more confusion.

That's when she notices her face feel wet too. If her hand can't feel the rain why can her-

Oh.

She's crying.

It's been sometime since that happened. She hadn't shed tears since the league, and even then those weren't tears of genuine emotion. It happened during one of their first missions, they were in an American mall trying to find and kidnap the daughter of an ex-client. He had been late on his payment and they decided to speed up the process.

The ex-client anticipated they'd be targeting him, rightfully so. So he hired a squad of bodyguards for his daughter.

The mission wasn't going very well, they'd been spotted and the guards knew who to look for. After regrouping at the food court, Talia and Damian left to get food, leaving Mari alone at their table. One of the bodyguards must have seen this as an opportunity, and made his way over to her.

Mari was small as a child, she had the face of pure innocence and good. So she was taught how to use that. Improvising, her expression morphed to one of fear, and she held tightly to her bright pink bag; leading any already suspicious onlookers to rise from their chairs.

The guy's ego must have been bigger than him since he didn't seem to falter from their looks. Or maybe he didn't even notice, didn't matter to Mari. He grabbed her arm and she squeaked in faux terror. She had him right were she needed.

"Stranger Danger! I-I don't know him, help-" She wept, forcing herself to tears before he slammed his hand over her mouth seconds too late. This got the attention of almost everyone in the food court, other parents already half way to them. His eyes bulged and he quickly let go trying to calm the situation. But the bystanders had seen enough, and he was on the ground in seconds.

The commotion caught the attention of his fellow guards and they rushed over to the scene.

"Sweetie, it's okay now, the bad man can't hurt you. Do you know where your parents are?" A blonde haired lady asked, kneeling down to her. She wore a peacock feather-inspired barrette and a pale violet dress.

"M-my mama, she, she and my brother went, went, went to go get food." She stuttered as she discreetly tapped a transmitter on her bag strap, informing Talia that the coast was clear to get the daughter.

"Okay, do you want to sit with me and my family while you wait? It's right over there, so when your mama comes back she won't have to look far." The lady said, pointing to a table with three other people. A pale blonde man, a blonde boy who's hair looked more like the lady's, a brown haired man with grey side burns, and a dark haired women with a red streak in her hair. Her hair looked more like Mari's real hair. They must be the lady's family.

But instead of answering her question, Mari corrected her, "It's 'my family and me' not 'me and my family'."

The lady lets out a hearty laugh, "Yes, I suppose it is. You remind me of my husband." She smiles at the girl. "So, would you like to sit with my family for a while?"

She tilted her head, pretending to consider it while really looking over to her mother, who now stands just a few feet away from the were the daughter was. Her eyes held question, should she go; should she not.

Talia noticed her gaze and her question, nodding to her daughter. Mari could have sworn she saw a rare look of pride on Talia, before her face contorted to a blank stare.

"Okay." She answered the blonde lady, taking her open hand.

As she sat at the end of the table, she was instantly hit with the questions of the blonde boy, "Hi, who are you? Are you okay? What's your name?" He lent over the table to talk.

"Oh my, I forgot to introduce my self. I'm sorry, dear," she apologized, "My name is Emily, that's Gabriel; my husband, that's Natalie; our personal assistant-slash-family friend, that's Adrien; our son, and that's Elliot or as Adrien calls him; Gorilla. He's his bodyguard." Mari nods, shyly looking at each of them. "So what's your name, sweetie?"

The boy had been staring at her since she got to their table, he looked at her patiently, waiting for her answer.

"Bridgette."

Mari had always liked undercover missions, nothing was ever real. She could be anyone and do what ever without worrying about meeting them again. She once spent a year in Paris, undercover as Maria, she even saw the same boy from missions ago and he didn't recognize her at all. She faked her death once they had successfully gotten rid of the ambassador's daughter.

Oh, what Mari wouldn't give for this to all be fake. For her to be able to forget the kiss, to forget everyone in the tower and move on to the next mission. Maybe some place in the Caribbean-

"Hey." She jumped at the new voice, but didn't reach for a weapon. It was a familiar voice. Maybe even a trusted one.

"Hey, Gar," she didn't turn around, couldn't. Even after months of brattiness, she had earned his respect. Showing the weakness of tears would effectively erase any progress she had. Hastily, she wiped her face with the napkin that came with her meal, attempting to calm herself down to look presentable. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

"Kori told us you were eating out. I volunteered to check it out," He answered before laughing bitterly, "Damian gave me the stink eye, though. Like he's got any place to judge." He muttered the last part. "Can I sit with you, Mars?"

"No." She said, sounding all like the stuck up heiress she was.

"Please." He stretched out the vowel. Mari could hear the pout in his voice, and saw it on him in his dog form. She sighed as turned to lean against the border of the building. There was a three-foot wall on the roof, probably to keep anyone on it from falling. It didn't matter to Mari or Gar, both had fallen from farther and survived.

She nodded mutely for him to go over to her. If she counted out Damian, the closest Titan to her would be Gar.

They sat like that for a while, changing position to one more comfortable every now and then. By the time Mari spoke up, she was leaning on his shoulder with his arm around her waist. It was getting really dark and they hadn't touched the food she order yet.

"So, you saw the kiss?" Mari whispered. She noticed his bitterness towards her brother, normally she would have defended him but she let it slide this time.

"Yeah," Gar whispered back, "What's got you so down, Mars?"

She hesitated, he didn't know. He didn't have to know, she could make up a lie and ignore her feelings. Bury them down, just like she did in the league. But he was trustworthy, she knew that, "Same as you." She gulped nervously.

Instead of acting on his surprise, he laughs, "Oh man, the irony. Three roomies liking the same girl? Classic." But then he sobers down and leans his head back on hers, and mumbles, "Sucks for the two sobs who don't get the girl, amiright?"

She lets herself laugh cry, "Oh yeah, sucks a lot," her shoulders shake as she laughs, " 'specially when the one who gets the girl is your brother."

"Mhm," he hums in agreement, "Never seen you so distraught, Mars, is it really all about the kiss? Or is it because we couldn't have our biweekly Ultimate Mecha Strike Five tournament yesterday?" He smirked playfully. One of the best things about Gar was that he always made it clear you didn't have to answer his questions, he gave easy outs.

Yeah, would be the answer to anyone other than him, he gave her an excuse not to answer, why doesn't she use it, It just, really threw me off. It's okay though, I'll get over it in a week.

"No." She responded. She doesn't use the easy out. She doesn't need it, "I. I, I guess I always expected it. The part were only one of us can have something, not the kiss its self," she corrected, "did not expect that. We always knew that someday, it would come down to one. Only one of us could ascend to Demon's Head. We knew, they knew, Mother knew. We spent our lives preparing for it. Yet this all feels so surreal."

Not knowing anything to say to comfort his friend, Gar simply held her in a tighter squeeze.

After a few more minutes in their position, he asked, "So... We gonna start eating or is the food just meant to go cold?"

She smiled and bummed their legs, "You dumbass."

"It's a valid question!"

#maribat #maribat march #damian and mari are twins #garmari #not explicitly #but my boy is a good friend

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collecting-stories · 4 years ago

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3am Friend - c. 01 - Topper Thornton

Summary: Topper and y/n have been in a “friends with benefits” relationship since September but the line between friendship and something more are already starting to blur.

A/N: This is basically four chapters: Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer. Also it’s going to be a bit of a practice run at writing more smut for me lol. Also it’s smut like, right under the cut lol.

Sophomore Year Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

What were you doing with your life...

You bit down on your bottom lip to stifle a moan as Topper’s tongue pressed against your clit, the cold tiled wall of the shower stall pressing into your back had your skin erupting in goosebumps, a contrast to the almost burning water that was hitting you. It was futile to bother concealing whatever noises Topper managed to pull out of you, the curtains of the shower stalls did little to shield their occupants from the rest of the communal bathroom, the plastic more often than not creating the perfect outline of whoever decided to use the showers. There would be no mistaking you, pressed against the wall, one leg tossed over Topper’s shoulder, his own figure silhouetted, kneeling in front of you with his hands digging into your hips.

If anyone did find you there was a 90% chance that they weren’t just going to let you off with a ‘sorry for intruding while some guy eats you out in the shower’ but any concern you actually had about the consequences of your hookup had died the minute Topper had joined you in the shower stall. Technically he’d texted you to come over to his dorm, he lived right off the main campus, close to your building, in a still operational fraternity house. He split a room with some guy who liked to stare but never actually talk when you came around. Yours was not a relationship of anything substantial. You’d hooked up with Topper at a party and exchanged numbers and, two days later, responded to a very obvious booty call at one in the morning.

“Holy shit!” You cursed, your voice coming out an octave higher than usual, fingers gripping Topper’s short blond hair. You could feel every muscle in your body tense as you tried to keep yourself upright, your other hand grabbing hold of the dial on the faucet in a desperate attempt to not completely fall apart as Topper sucked on your clit. He had moved one of his hands at some point, middle finger now moving rhythmically in and out of your entrance, working you through an orgasm.

When you came down, your muscles relaxing and you pushing back against the wall to keep yourself steady, leg slipping off Topper’s shoulder, he stood up. He caged you in almost immediately, moving as close as possible in the stall and kissing you, the salty taste of cum still there on his mouth. “That pad really comes in handy,” he teased, referring to the silicone mat you’d bought two weeks earlier to scrub your feet without trying to do a yoga pose in the shower.

You hummed, “I’ll leave that in my review on Amazon. Great for not bruising your knees.” When he kissed you again you smiled, eyes fluttering closed for a split second. This was the worst part. The part when you ran out of things to say and he would untangle himself from your arms and leave, promise to text you later.

It was the thing that your roommate had warned you about in the beginning that you had ignored.

“That’s like, not even friends with benefits though.” She had admonished when you told her for the first time that you had started this bizarre relationship with Topper. “I mean, you’re literally having casual sex with some rando guy that you hooked up with at a party. At a frat party. Do you even fucking know anything about him?”

“I know his name,” you had replied, rummaging through your closet to find something to wear to class, “and his phone number so I can booty call him.”

“Brilliant.” She snapped, “he could be some fucking weirdo axe murderer preying on college girls.”

You rolled your eyes, “he’s the same age as us.” You had never been one for casual sex in your life until this point and you weren’t sure why it seemed enticing now but you wanted to branch out a little. You’d gotten your first boyfriend in ninth and you’d stuck with him until August of this, your sophomore year of college. He broke up with you, claiming the distance between your school and his was too much for him to deal with.

It was your roommate that had dragged you to the party at the fraternity house, claiming that it would get your mood up after the guy you’d been with for the last five years decided he couldn’t do the 2 hour commute between your school and his. Three shots of tequila later and the blond you couldn’t take your eyes off of asking if you wanted to ‘go somewhere quiet’ were all the motivation you needed to put the past behind you and stop groveling over a guy who wasn’t even there.

Still, the fact remained, even now as Topper put his hands on your hips, looking at you through the mirror and kissing the back of your head, you knew that casual sex was not your forte. Not simply because you had never done it before but because you found yourself craving those small, just after when the bubble had broken yet and there was still some lingering affection, moments as much as you craved the sex. But you had both agreed, casual. Something to take your mind off school for a few hours, a stress relief. For you it was more than that. You’d never been the most confident when it came to sex or your body, all that self-love/self-care crap was wasted on you and your gnawing insecurities. Having casual sex was like constantly challenging yourself to be your most exposed and most intimate with someone who was still relatively a stranger to you.

“You know I think it was technically supposed to be my turn,” you mentioned, running the wide-toothed comb through your hair. You should’ve detangled in the shower except that wasn’t really top priority. What would you even say, ‘oh, would you mind not eating me out for a second so I can brush my hair’…you’d live with the awkward waves that dried in.

“I thought we switched.” Topper shrugged, pulling his sweatpants back on. His shirt went over his head and you involuntarily pouted at the mirror, there went the view.

“No, I said…this doesn’t technically count.” You replied, referring to the party three nights earlier and the head you’d given to avoid having actual sex on your period. You were at the tail end and you’d contemplated not going to the frat house at all but changed your mind at the last moment.

“Hey, if you’re offering, I’m not gonna turn you down.” He joked.

You turned to look at him, the mirror not sufficing as you stuck your tongue out playfully. “I have a test tomorrow, I have to study.”

“Come over, you can study in my room. We’ll hang out.”

“We are incapable of hanging out Topper.” You replied, grabbing your shower caddy and heading for the door. He walked right out after you, both of you ignoring the rather appreciative stare of one of the other girls on your floor.

“Not true,” he’d suffered a nasty break-up in high school that he gave no more background to other than to say she had cheated on him extensively. Casual seemed to be the best he could allow himself to do though you weren’t sleeping with anyone else and, as far as you knew, neither was he.

Your roommate looked up from her desk, rolling her eyes at the sight of Topper following you into your dorm. In the beginning of September, when this first started, it felt like you only ever disappeared at night. You saw Topper when he texted you and you might smile in the café but you never actively sought each other out. Now it was creeping toward November though, with Halloween right around the corner, and Topper felt like an accessory. He was always right there wherever you were, not that you were complaining. To anyone on the outside you looked like a couple but you both maintained the friends with benefits story.

“Oh look who it is.” Almost two whole months of him and your roommate still greeted Topper with a disdainful glare. She was fervent in her belief that the guy you thought was damn near perfect (if only he’d actually date you) was hiding some deep-seated flaw.

“Hey G,” Topper greeted, taking a seat on your bed as if he couldn’t tell just how annoyed your roommate was.

Geena and you had been thrown together after enduring a freshman year from hell. Her roommate from the year prior had been awful, like caging yourself in with some 00’s mean girl who only found satisfaction in watching you suffer. Your own freshman roommate had been neurotic about the dorm and constantly scrutinized whether your cleaning methods were sufficient. Geena was a blessing, you got along well, hung out all the time, had become fast friends in the short time since the beginning of the semester. Topper was the only thing you didn’t agree on. She thought it was unhealthy, that it would only lead to heartbreak.

“You can’t have casual sex with a guy for three years…people already think you’re dating. Some girl I don’t even know asked me if I could get her into a Phi Sig party next week cause my roomie is dating one of the guys.” There was a new reason almost daily with Geena, like she tore away a new page on the calendar and it offered up cons to your relationship with Topper in lieu of a word for the day.

“I can ask for her.”

“Oh my god, that is not the point.” She snapped.

You sighed, “I don’t really care if people think we’re dating.”

“Why?” She asked the question so smugly you already knew where she was going with this. And you knew why it didn’t bother you that people thought you were dating, why you sometimes even fanned that flame.

“G-“

“No, tell me why? People usually keep that shit quiet so they can hook-up with other people too. So why don’t you care?”

“Because if people think we’re dating…they won’t try to date him.” You shrugged, practically mumbling the last part. You hated that she knew that off the bat, that she could tell that you liked him so much in such a short span of time. And you knew she had a point to all her antagonizing. You had been in too deep since two weeks into September when he told you that you looked pretty in something your ex always said made you look fat.

You held the seam of your towel shut as you rummaged through the set of plastic drawers underneath your bed. Geena had done the bed on risers thing for optimal storage and you had followed along, semi grateful for the added space since both of you seemed inclined to transport your entire bedroom with you. Topper’s foot nudged your side as you got closer to him and you looked up, matching his smile when you caught him staring at you. You were sure Geena was sitting behind you rolling her eyes.

“Guess I’ll go grab something to eat.” She announced, as if your very presence had worn her down.

“I’m just getting changed, I think we’re heading over to Topper’s.” You replied, looking back over your shoulder at her.

Geena scrunched her nose and stood up anyway, “still would rather not be here while you got dressed so I don’t have to pretend like I can’t see this one leering at you.” She shot Topper a look of contempt as she passed. If it was real, if he asked you out and he was really, actually, your boyfriend, Geena was positive she’d have no problems with him. He seemed like alright and he certainly made you happier and more confident than she’d seen you in the beginning of the year. But she hated the thought of you getting hurt and didn’t want to be just sitting on the sidelines watching it happen.

“I don’t leer.” He joked, turning back to you once she was out the door, “I don’t leer.”

You didn’t answer, instead grabbing your underwear out of the top drawer and pulling them on once the door was shut. The first time you had ever gotten dressed with Topper around you’d made sure that you were obscured from view, still too bashful and self-conscious of the way that you looked without clothes on. There was still that split second moment when you doubted yourself, when you thought about maneuvering your towel to hide your body from view, as if after two months Topper might suddenly look at you and decide he didn’t like the softness of your stomach or the width of your hips or any other imperfection you could find.

You pushed through the voice though, dropping your towel and getting dressed. When you reached for the bralette your tossed on the bed beside him you realized he was looking at you. “G might have a point, maybe I should turn around.” You teased, his eyes snapping up to meet yours.

“I’m admiring the view.” Topper replied, not at all embarrassed at being caught.

You rolled your eyes, pulling your bralette on and adjusting your boobs until it sat right. “I don’t even know why I’m putting this on,” you mentioned, grabbing his sweatshirt to pull on over it, “I should just stop wearing underwear to your room and then I won’t ever lose it.”

“You lose stuff? Whose wearing my hoodie right now?” He asked, grabbing the edge of the hood to pull you closer to him.

“Your room has swallowed three of my bras...the nice ones too. Or Will like, took them.” You said.

If there was some kind of formal set of rules that you and Topper had ever thought to draft, kissing outside of actually having sex with each other should have qualified as a major no. But nothing of the sort had ever been discussed and now, Topper leaned over, stealing a quick kiss before he got off your bed. Maybe now didn’t count as a ‘just friends’ moment though since technically you were heading back to his room, presumably to have sex. To finish what he’d started when he showed up seconds before you got a shower.

“What would Will need your bras for?”

“To masturbate over? Who knows...all I’m saying is, I wear bras to your room, I never seem to leave with them.” You replied.

“I promise I will find all your missing bras today, okay?” He grabbed your lanyard off the hook, keys and wallet all in one place, pulling the door open for you. “Wanna grab pizza later?”

You chewed on your bottom lip, waiting a beat to answer him. Grabbing pizza meant, inevitably, hanging out after. Becoming friends was unavoidable, there was no way that either of you could have navigated sleeping together without some sort of relationship forming. So far it was only friendship, or at least that was all either of you were willing to let it be. Anything more than that meant an actual romantic relationship forming, something you wanted but were determined not to let yourself even entertain the idea of.

“Fine but not from that place by Barnaby's.” You replied, pushing the door open and stepping out into the quad with him. The local bar was always teeming with college students and the last thing you wanted was someone recognizing Topper, because everyone always seemed to recognize Topper, and invite the two of you in.

“We’ll just get it delivered.” He shrugged.

The first time you met Topper, enough to tequila to not make you totally embarrassed as you danced with Geena in the main room of the Phi Sig frat house, you had laughed when he told you his name. It was a combination of the heels you borrowed from another girl on your floor and the alcohol that had you losing your footing, catching yourself in time not to smash your whole body into a coffee table, and landing on the couch beside Topper. He was taking a sip of beer and looked relatively startled when some almost drunk girl fell into the spot next to him.

“Sorry!” You’d shouted over the bass as you tried to undo the straps of the heels that you were sure were also guilty of twisting your ankle.

When he introduced himself two sentences later, “I’m Topper” you couldn’t resist a good dad-joke and smiled at him, “but I hardly know her!”

“Amazing.” He had been less amused by the joke than you were though he didn’t really seem bothered by it, at least not bothered enough to move on because he stayed on the couch for three more turns of the conversation before asking if you wanted to talk elsewhere. You were sober enough to know exactly what he meant and obliged because you were still kinda pissed at your ex and you didn’t want this year to pass the same as last year had, with nothing but school work to show as a passing of time.

At least you’d have a good story to tell.

Highschool you had a healthy apprehension of frat houses and the people who lived in them. You’d seen enough episodes of CSI, Law and Order, Veronica Mars, and any other crime show that existed in the early 00’s to know that frat houses were breeding grounds for terrible things. Your parents had even attempted to sway you from going to your first-choice college simply because the greeks still existed on campus. You could only imagine what they’d think now, knowing that you had spent more time in Topper’s room than you had in your own in the last month at least.

Frat houses might’ve been sordid in your mind but so far, your reality of this one was exactly what it looked like on the surface, a bunch of guys living together with limited supervision. You still stuck to Topper whenever you were inside but you’d never had a problem with anyone in there and you rightly assumed that most of them just figured you were his girlfriend.

“Will told me he wants that TA position next year, with Prof Berkley.” You mentioned, flopping back onto Topper’s bed and tilting your head so you could look over to the empty other side of the room that belonged to his roommate. Aside from staring at you too much and possibly stealing your bras, you still had a hunch that Topper was just messing with you and had them stashed away somewhere, Will was alright. You were both in the same area of study, pre-law, and he had told you days earlier that he was gunning for the same TA position with your advisor as you were.

“I don’t know anything about it.” Topper replied, kicking his slides off and climbing onto his bed with you. The countdown in your head started now, hopefully soon you would be naked.

“Yes, you do because I literally told you about it at breakfast.” You pointed out. He’d texted you that morning to get coffee with him and you ignored Geena when she told you that sex-friends don’t get coffee together. “I said I was applying for the TA spot because it’s a massive opportunity.”

“Sounds like something I don’t have an opinion on.” He said, rolling over so that he could kiss you. “Enough chit-chat.”

“You’ve got a one-track mind Thornton.” You joked, moving your arms above your head as he pulled his sweatshirt off of you.

“Well can I interest you in getting on that track with me?” He replied, lips brushing over your neck as he spoke. You hadn’t bothered to put on any makeup before you left your dorm, you hadn’t even bothered to dry your hair all the way. But who were you to worry about things like that when Topper was pushing your bralette up over your head.

You jerked slightly, wriggling around on the bed when the fabric got caught half way up your arms, binding them above your head and covering your face, Topper taking advantage of the moment and sucking one of your nipples into his mouth, tongue swirling around it as you arched your back into him. “Topper!” You whined.

He hummed, pulling away from you to take the bralette the rest of the way off and tossing it off the bed, “sorry, couldn’t resist.” He said, smiling at you as if he truly couldn’t resist. The thought made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

You didn’t let yourself have the moment though, pulling him in for a kiss the moment he had untangled you, hand on the back of his neck as you ran your tongue against his bottom lip, biting gently as you pulled away. Topper held himself up on one elbow, his other hand pushing passed your sweatpants.

“Always right down to business,” you teased.

“What do you want me to take you out first?” He was joking, you knew that, but the way he said almost sounded like he truly would take you out if you wanted him to. But then what would this be, if you had dinner before you hooked up.

“Some foreplay would be nice.” You kept the conversation light, the way you always did, and he laughed.

“I thought the shower was foreplay.”

You would’ve answered, thought of something witty to make him laugh again, but he had pushed your underwear to the side, fingers pushing passed your folds to brush your clit. He made the same satisfied hum that he always did when he realized that you were wet, like a quiet pat on the back. His middle finger circled your clit, a barely there shudder of nerves setting off in your stomach as you moaned.

“I was supposed to,” you managed as he shifted further down the bed and you realized what he was doing.

“We have plenty of time.” He promised, pressing a kiss to your stomach.

Topper hadn’t seriously dated anyone since his break-up with Sarah. Kelce told him constantly that he was putting too much on that relationship, as if it was the holy grail by which to rate every other relationship that he had. And maybe he was allowing himself to be too scorned by something that lasted little more than a summer but he couldn’t help it. Topper was nothing if not a hopeless romantic and that had felt like such an idealistic time in his life until it all inevitably crashed around him.

He tried casual hook-ups before you. A few girls from high school that he knew that made it practically impossible for the casual to still exist alongside the hook-up. College was easier but freshman year had been mostly dedicated to rushing the fraternity that his dad and grandfather and great grandfather had all rushed before him. Then he met you at a party in the beginning of sophomore year and he told himself it was casual but he knew that this was far from it.

You weren’t anything like Sarah and maybe he had done that on purpose. Specifically slept with someone that didn’t remind him of anyone back home as some way to separate himself from that part of his life. To fully embody the frat boy, jock, life he was trying to live through. He figured it would just be a onetime thing and then maybe a sometime thing but now it was most definitely an all the time thing. Kelce told him that he should just ask you out but Topper felt like he was in too deep already.

This was supposed to be strictly friends with benefits, if he crossed that line and you said no he would be crushed.

“Topper,” you moaned, bringing him back to the moment. You shuddered as he pulled his fingers out of you, placing a kiss just below your belly button. When you tugged at the short blond hairs at the back of his head he shifted, letting you lead him back up so that you could kiss him.

You had told him specifically that it was your turn, as if he really cared about taking turns at all. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? You don’t have some fussy girlfriend bitching about giving you head.” Rafe’s colourful comments about the situation had been largely ignored but Topper knew, less crudely, he was right. The whole reason the two of you had started this was for sex of any kind and you had been the one to suggest taking turns.

“My ex wasn’t very forthcoming with praise. He always told me I was kinda shitty at sucking dick so, maybe it’d be kinda nice to practice.” It’s been a colourful sentiment, one you had felt oddly comfortable sharing with Topper when the two of you first sat in his room discussing the arrangement.

And while he wholeheartedly disagreed with your ex-boyfriend, Topper just liked being the one to give. He liked that moment when everything overwhelmed you enough that you let go and stopped worrying about if you looked attractive in a certain position or if your thighs were too big or if you had any unwanted rolls. That split second between overthinking and not thinking at all was powerful and Topper liked being the one who caused it. He liked the way you looked in his bed, biting your bottom lip to keep quiet so other guys in the house didn’t hear you. The way your hair tangled just from laying on your back. He could list a million things, every one more obscure, less noticeable, than the last because he felt like when you were around all he could do was pay attention.

“Hey, quit daydreaming about Hailey Bieber-“ you teased as Topper’s movements slowed down, his lips brushing languidly against your collar like he was in some lethargic trance.

He squeezed your side, baring his teeth to nip at your neck, scraping them across your skin and making you laugh as you turned your head towards his. That lazy smile you got was there, eyes hooded as you watched him, the moment passed and he leaned in to kiss you again. When he broke away it was only to grab a condom from the box on his dresser.

Topper pushed your legs apart, settling between them. He slipped one hand beneath your back, guiding it into an arch to bring your chest closer to him, mouth finding one of your breasts. His tongue pressed against your nipple, swirling around it as you dug your nails in the sheets beneath you. He looked up at you, eyes hooded, as he pushed you back down against the bed. “God,” he breathed out, “you’re so fucking gorgeous.”

You grabbed the back of Topper’s neck, pulling him into a kiss, slower than the ones before, more tender. Your other hand moved down between your bodies, finding his dick, enjoying the way he moaned against your mouth as you guided him in. Despite the orgasm he’d given you in the shower you still felt that stretch as he pushed in, kissing across your jaw and sucking a bruise into the space just behind your ear.

You would never tell Geena but somewhere between quick hook-ups and longer nights together your ‘just casual sex’ had turned into something else, something far more meaningful though neither of you would acknowledge it.

Instead you just held onto him, nails scratching a trail down his back as he found a rhythm, Instead, you just held onto him, nails scratching a trail down his back as he found a rhythm, hips snapping against yours. The sound of your panting breath and his grunts filled the room; you bit your lip to stop yourself from moaning when Topper’s fingers dipped passed your folds to massage your clit.

“Oh god, Topper,” you whined, turning your face enough to press your cheek into Topper’s pillow, the faint smell of his cologne hitting your nose. You breathed in, always a fan of the subtle musk.

“Does that feel good baby?” His lips brushed your ear as he spoke, words barely registering over the sensation of him. You opened your legs a little further, lifting your knee and hooking your leg over his back. The angle seemed to give more depth and his movements picked up speed. His fingers circled your clit faster as he continued to whisper words of encouragement to you. A quiet “come on baby, I know you’re close”.

“Are you?”

His comment had seemingly brought you just out of the haze enough to ask him if he was close. You knew you were, he knew you were, and you wanted him to be there too, just on that edge with you. As he pulled out you clenched around him and when he pushed back in it felt deeper than before, that all too familiar groan of satisfaction leaving his lips as you guided him back into a kiss. He didn’t answer your question, instead taking the opportunity to kiss you, tongue working it’s way into your mouth and dragging across your teeth. You found your grip on his hair, tugging hard enough that he jerked his hips in retaliation, hitting so deep you felt yourself go off that edge, his motion become erratic as he followed, smoothing your scream with another kiss, biting your bottom lip as he pulled away.

There was always a moment of frenzy in the beginning when you first started hooking up. You would rush to grab your clothes, partially because you felt the need to leave when the act was done and partially because you didn’t want him to linger too long on your body. You were a temporary fix for a problem he didn’t feel like dealing with on his own, he wasn’t responsible for making you feel good about yourself. He wasn’t your boyfriend, he wasn’t obligated to tell you that you were beautiful or lavish any compliment onto you at all, not that your ex had ever been willing to either. You didn’t stay, for the first few weeks you trudged back across the lawn from the frat house, back to the dorms, and snuck in. But things had changed by mid October and what was once a booty call at one in the morning when he couldn’t sleep was now you going over for pizza and a study session that turned into an afternoon spent in his bed.

“What time is Will back?” You asked, sitting up as Topper came back into the room with two water bottles. There was still that awkward moment just after sex, as if neither of you knew how to leave behind the intimacy of the act and return to normal life. Like you were both waiting for the other to admit that maybe just friends wasn’t really what you wanted at all. So he disappeared downstairs to get water and you pulled your underwear and his sweatshirt back on, leaving the bra somewhere on the floor.

The empty other side of the room served as a poignant reminder that time alone was only ever temporary.

“Not sure,” he shrugged, “he’s been talking about some girl on campus that he’s dating. Won’t reveal her name apparently, he’s convinced Fitz will try to fuck with them if he finds out.” His fraternity brothers were not the same as hanging out with Kelce and Rafe every day but they weren’t the worst substitutes for entertainment. Fitz was the head of the house, a senior whose greatest claim to fame was being party to a wildly controversial radio-show that amounted to nothing more than some white guys imitating Rush Limbaugh and the Douche from Parks & Rec. He said dumb shit just to piss people off and had an unappreciated proclivity for trying to ruin any relationship one of his brothers found themselves in.

Will was always an easy target for him though he’d set his sights on you a few times, assuming like others did, that you and Topper were dating. You had never mentioned it to Topper, Fitz was gross and you were looking forward to his inevitable graduation at the end of May.

“Fitz totally would,” you replied. Last year you existed on no one’s radar. You hadn’t so much as gotten an offer to go out on a date with someone and yet this year, all because of Topper, you were sure, it felt like everyone in his circle seemed to pay attention to you in some way. “He told me he prank called Will’s mom two weeks ago pretending to be the on campus nurse for a bit on his radio show.”

Topper looked up from his phone and the pizza he was ordering, frown etched onto his features. “When did you talk to Fitz?”

“His econ class is right down the hall from my 12:30 poly sci class…he always ‘walks with me across campus’ in case I get mugged apparently.” You laughed, “I think he just does it cause he knows we hang out.”

“I didn’t know he was talking to you.”

You shrugged, Fitz had been goading you for weeks but it wasn’t anything that felt harmful. Just some mind-numbingly dumb conversation about parties and girls and his radio show and how hot he apparently thought you were. “It’s not a big deal, if he was bothering me I probably would’ve said something.”

“Right,” Topper still looked miffed despite having no reason to be. You weren’t interested in Fitz and, even if you were, what say did he have over it. That old familiar feeling crept in though, the one he recognised as the same one that the plagued him after Wheezie told him that Sarah had cheated on the boyfriend before him only to find out that she had cheated on him with John B. When he looked over you were pouting at him, “what?”

“Your room is so cold.” You replied, pulling the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your hands as if that was an indication of the frigid temperature. The old house lacked insulation in most of the rooms, Topper’s being one of them.

He rolled his eyes, climbing back into bed with you, the momentary worry subsiding. You weren’t his girlfriend but in that moment, as he pulled the blankets around the two of you, guiding you back down to lay with him under the covers, he could have fooled even himself about the relationship. He held his arm out in front of both of you so that you could see his phone and the menu for the pizza place.

“I’ve been really in the mood for pepperoni.” You mused, not bothering to look at the screen and opting instead to tuck your face into his bare collar. Your hand slipped down from his chest and Topper grabbed your wrist before you could make it to his briefs.

“Pizza first,” he said, “you’re already getting sleepy.”

“It’s cause I’m cold.” You insisted.

He turned to place a kiss on your forehead, “pizza.” He reminded you again.

Halloween weekend creeped up and, before you knew it, Phi Sig was decorated and advertising a Halloween haunted house party for everyone on campus. Geena was going home on the actual night of to trick or treat with her sister but she agreed to go to the party with you that weekend. She loved a good party and any excuse to dress up.

When you weren’t spending time with Topper, and sometimes when you were because he had a tendency to hang out just to hang out (the friends side of the benefit), you and Geena marathoned episodes of Supernatural. And it was at her coaxing that your Halloween costume became an homage to the show and your favorite character. A semi-loosely interpreted Dean Winchester, complete with a flannel over your black tank top and the mark of Cain crafted by Geena using her best fx makeup skills. You wore cut-off jean shorts with your hiking boots, showing off the legs that you were usually self-conscious about. Geena was Cas, sticking a little closer to the actual costume though she made a few alterations.

“I gotta ask…” Fitz said, coming up to the two of you the moment you were in the door, as if he was the greeting committee.

“I’m Dean Winchester.” You explained, “G’s Cas.”

“You dressed like a guy for Halloween?” Fitz clarified. “I was hoping for something that showed a little more…” he made a motion with his hands to indicate that the little more he wanted to see were your boobs.

“I have the obligatory sexy cat costume but that’s…” you looked passed Fitz’s shoulder, eyes landing on Topper down the hall chatting with some friends, a smile instantly lighting up your face, “that’s for his eyes only.”

Fitz looked behind him, catching sight of his frat brother and rolling his eyes before turning back to you, “yeah well, if Thornton’s not appreciative then you know where to find me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you laughed, stepping around him. Geena had broken off already, heading for the keg that had been set up in the corner. When you started down the hall Fitz found someone else to antagonise, leaving you to vie for Topper’s attention, not that it took you much. Just walking up had him breaking his concentration to look at you, the smile automatic. “Hey,” you greeted as he hugged you, keeping his arm around your waist as he brought you into the conversation.

“Hey, you look great.” He praised, offering you some of his beer. Topper’s costume was best described as JFK yachting in Hyannis. He looked like a preppy New England white boy and you suspected it was all clothing he already owned thrown together differently. There was always that slight air of prep to him though college and a growing collection of hoodies were slowly eating away at that.

“Thanks, I feel a little out of place,” you joked, noting a girl down the hall that was wearing a mock up of Amanda Seyfried’s bunny costume from Mean Girls. “Though I do have a costume change saved for later.”

“Oh yeah,” that smile was a full blown mischievous grin and you wondered for a split-second how down he would be to ditch the whole party and take you to his room. “Does it involve these clothes on my floor?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” You teased.

You had been stressing over the purchase of a costume that could’ve been more accurately described as lingerie since it arrived at your dorm a week earlier. Did friends with benefits buy lingerie sets specifically for showing off? You weren’t sure where that one fell on the line but you were positive you were crossing into territory that was reserved for girlfriends. But even with those doubts, just the thought of Topper seeing you in something that was just for him to see you in somehow made you unable to pass up the opportunity.

Topper groaned, pulling you closer to him so that he could press his forehead into your neck, “baby,” his voice sounded almost close to whining and you ran a hand through his hair. He nipped at your exposed collar before lifting his head again to look at you. “How long am I supposed to wait?”

“One track mind, I’ve said it before…I’ll say it again.” You laughed, trying not to think about the way this felt so much like a relationship, pulling away from him but taking his hand, “come on, I wanna get a drink.”

He followed you to the makeshift bar set up by the keg, refilling his beer while you ladled a generous helping of jungle juice into your cup, trying to fish as many sour patch kids as you could to add to it. You were drinking mostly to calm the nerves that were bubbling up. Geena would be gone Halloween night and the whole next day because she didn’t have classes and you were thinking of inviting Topper to stay over. Regardless of the hour or the amount of time you spent together afterward, the post-coital bliss always came to an end and one of you always left the other. Even if you got breakfast the next day there was a stretch of time that existed between the night before and the morning after where you were nothing to each other but bodies.

“So, Geena’s going home on Halloween, I thought maybe you could come over,” you suggested. That part was a given.

Topper looked almost confused that you were asking, “yeah, figured we’d end up hanging out anyway.” He replied.

“Well…” you worried your bottom lip between your teeth for a moment, “I was thinking, she won’t be back til the next day…like, at night, and I thought, maybe you’d wanna stay over.”

No. There was a voice in the back of his head, the logical one who knew that crossing the most obvious line, the one where he stayed and you woke up together, was a turning point that he wouldn’t be able to come back from. It was bad enough that he had let this become something that bordered on being a relationship to anyone looking in on it, but letting himself pretend like it was…he wasn’t sure he could come back from that when this all ended.

“Yeah,” he said, quieting the logical side of his brain, “as long as you wear this ‘something else’ for the duration of my stay.” It might be a bad idea but who was he kidding, he was so far gone he’d accidentally referred to you as his girlfriend when he was on the phone with his mom just the day before.

That smile returned to your face, the one that was so sly yet excitable at the same time, the perfect juxtaposition of innocence and deviousness, “Well, I was gonna wear nothing but-“

“Nothing works for me.” Topper replied, using his free hand to hook his fingers through your front belt loop and pulling you toward him so that he could kiss you. Definitely not friends with benefits, but you’d both keep pretending until one of you cracked.

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