#i want to be unwell with them again
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i miss my fucking friends!!!!
#screaming crying screechinf puking ripping chunks if my own hair out#actually borderline#actually bpd#one is super toxic for me and i am for them BUT i wanna see them again!#the other one I can't find anywhere they're just gone off social media#i want to be unwell with them again#ugh
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Feel like shit just want them back
#I'm not even joking i think about them on average at least once a day#i am unwell#passenger pigeon#we did you so so wrong#it's Makenna Is Mad About Extinct Birds hour again#martha i will avenge you#i don't know how yet but I'll do it#shut up me#extinction#extinct animals#birds#birdblr#environmentalism#i want to see them block out the sun i want to witness their splendor#but i can't and my soul will never know peace
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IT'S EIOGHORAIN TIME BABEY!!!!!
#i'm out here living my best LIFE#i remember them talking about how eioghorain looks like toshiro mifune and i can fucking see it#brennan's voice for him is soooooo hot#once again. an episode of VIOLENT emotional swings#wanting keen dead to eursulon lying in wait like a badass to SUVI AND EIOGHORAIN#the way suvi talked with him was so... it just felt good to listen to. aabria you are so good at this game#AND EIOGHORAIN IS GONNA HELP THEM SAVE THE KIDS I'M GONNA BLOW MY FUCKING TOP#excellent show. i feel unwell#i need to wait two weeks?? how have i ever waited two weeks for this. i need to know that ame is away from keen NOW#god. ok. i'm having a great time#worlds beyond number#wbn pod#wbn: www#wbn#wbn spoilers#the wizard the witch and the wild one#wwwo#wwwo spoilers#eioghorain wbn
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oh my god oh my god oh my god it's been years but I have NOT forgotten about this bit in the script and I am begging on my knees that this means we're getting it after all somehow
#I AM UNWELL ABOUT THEM AGAIN#good omens#ineffable husbands#''it's been years'' HUH???#(as far as I remember terry wanted the song to be the theme/important so I hope his wish will come true for s2 💛)
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me when “but i love my friends they make me feel alive again or at least they remind me that i’m not even dead”

#marlo’s stuff#i love you bears in trees#you were so real for this i love this line#i DO love my friends and i DO feel alive with them#OUGH I LOVE I WANT TO FEEL CHAOTIC#ough so many lyrics live in my head rent free#i’m so unwell about this album i have to listen to it again or i will die
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flirting with your friends for fun is literally the point of it all. you’re on this world to tell your friends you oughta kiss and watch their cheeks turn pink as they shoot back something just as flirty
#timothy's txts.#tell me WHY platonic flirting isn’t more common. WHERES YOUR WHIMSY#WHERES YOUR SILLY NATURE.#if you don’t kiss your friend on the day of her wedding in front of her husband (he was cool with it and encouraged it) are you guys#even friends….?#i want blueberry wine again so bad..#also i NEED to go on a midnight drive with someone again. NEVER move away from your mentally unwell 20 year old cis guy friend who is#passionate about cars and also gossiping with you#all i’ve got are these bridges with no one to take a midnight walk with on them to watch the cars pass underneath 😔 shakes fist at god. why#don’t you love gay people…
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Istg if they parallel Jaya in a way that Jay goes off somewhere on his own and he keeps thinking that there’s something to recall until he hears a single name which drives him to find whoever that name belongs to and he goes to this big event for maybe some luck, but unlike for Sea Nya when he sees who that name belongs to and doesn’t actually remember anything else and he’s just left to try and figure it all by himself then I might just die. Just a little bit.
#i don’t want him to remember but i also don’t want him to forget yk???#also as long as they don’t parallel the amount of time it took for nya to return#or for her powers to come back#*then* i will riot actually#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#dragons rising#ninjago spoilers#ninjago seabound#jay ninjago#ninjago jay#jay walker#nya ninjago#ninjago nya#nya seabound#nya smith#ninjago jaya#jaya ninjago#jaya#jay x nya#cable rants#i’m tired it’s late okay#feeling unwell about them all over again hhhbgnnn
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went back to comfort zone and ... got stuck there
#i will not be tagging this LOL only#for y'all ❤️ a treat from me ... something no one asked for nor wanted ❤️#just went back to my furries to comfort myself because i am incredibly unwell <3 i've been throwing up from stress among other things 💔#just quit my job so i'll probably. maybe. be drawing more. also my first appointment with my new psychiatrist is to#morrow ... so everyone please cross your fingers for me that i get to feeling a little better soon :)#thank you everyone as always for your constant patience :') i really want to get to asks soon ! i want to answer them so bad but i get so#overwhelmed trying to answer them that i kinda just ... shut down :'/ and i do that a lot just. in life. and it makes me kinda miserable#that i can't share joy with people who go out of their way to share it with ME so hopefully i can get my anxiety under control so that i can#be more active :') and my brain fog too ... even if i wanted to post i usually can't because i genuinely have no thoughts in my head ever.#(terrifyingly). so overall i hope everyone's patience with me will all be worth it soon :') please wish me the best !#anyway. lore dump out of the way. these are my furries of them that i have owned for like 4/5 years now because i used to not be able (or#want to) draw humans AT ALL and i was very very heavily involved in the furry and oc communities so i would just make everyone furries :)#it was very very comforting for me and sometimes it still is so i wanted to revisit them a little bit because they make me happy and i rly#need that boost today :')#i'm soooo rusty w furries. so. don't look too close.#i'll tag this as#rdr2#and for organization purposes#but nothing else because ... weh. it's not really ... Content ....#i will however make a new tag for these furries (and maybe other things) jic i get in the habit of drawing them again#hero's shameless self indulgence#hero draws sometimes#image#art
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Fucked up that they keep making these depressed pathetic men in their labs for me to get obsessed with. fucked up for real.
#jinx arcane is my comfort character to draw because I sit there and just chill and relax and have a good time#I wanted to draw jayce and it took me like ten minutes to get mentally prepared because my brain was full of static#and then I tried and fucked it up big time because I got nervous and excited at the same time#fuck you fuck you fuck youuuu#I'm fine I'm doing fine I'm okay#I'm unwell about that man sorry I lied#good character awesome character exploding him with my mind#chewing on him spitting him out dragging him around like a dog toy#holding him in my teeth gently. my special fictional guy.#if any of my friends ever tell me again that they're cringe I'll just show them this jesus christ#faksyan talks#faksyan talks arcane
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Fiona and Lip vs Mickey (They did not hate him or treat him unfairly!!)
People love to claim Fiona and Lip were always super unfair to Mickey and I need to get all this out. I said in my last post that I would make this post at some point, and so I'm doing it now because I need to get it out.
I'll start with Lip.
So during the first 3 seasons Lip was the only one who knew about Ian and Mickey. And he was always pretty supportive about it really. At the end of S3 he made one comment to Ian about how the good thing about falling for Mickey was that you could always do better. Was that necessarily nice? No. But I never actually even took it as Lip truly not liking Mickey for Ian. Just as that thing people often do when their friend/sibling goes through a breakup. Trying to make him feel better, and adding in a little trash talk about the person who hurt them. But also, their relationship hadn't exactly been the most healthy. I love Gallavich, but we can all acknowledge that, right? Mickey had beaten Ian up just a couple episodes before that. Also, Lip very rarely got to see them together pre season 4. And when he did, they were pretending there was nothing going on because Mickey didn't know Lip knew. Lip literally saw Mickey walk off to go have sex with Angie while Ian was right there. And sure, he would've likely been told some of the better stuff about their relationship (if it can even be called that in 1-3?) but for the most part he only got to see the bad, and also the bad was what Ian was gonna talk more about because that was when he needed to get things out. So yeah, Lip may have had a little bit of hesitance towards their relationship at that point in time.
And same in early S4 when he asked Ian if it was really a good idea that Mickey was still at the house. That wasn't anything actually against Mickey as a person, that was about the situation and the fact that he knows how much everything hurt Ian.
Also, he knew about Mickey being gay since S1 and Mickey never even suspected he knew anything until S4 when Lip had to hint at it to try and get him to say whether he'd heard from Ian. Lip knew that wasn't something he was supposed to know, and so he only knew it when he and Ian were alone.
In S4 when Lip was looking for Ian, Mickey was the first person he asked after Debbie and Carl. And he didn't push. He just asked if he'd heard from him, the only thing I'd say could be classed as pushing was his "are you really gonna make me spell it out?" about his and Ian's relationship. And even that he quickly backed off from. Then he said he'd let Mickey know what kind of trouble Ian was in once he found out. (And by telling Mandy what was going on, he did...)
Season 5 is where it gets interesting and where I see the most shit about Lip being unfair to Mickey.
We see Lip and Fiona go to Mickey to ask him to try and talk to Ian about going to see a Doctor, they explain the symptoms of Bipolar they're seeing in Ian. They mention Monica to point out that they know what they're talking about. (We also see that Lip is actually amused by Mickey when he's beating that guy up and yelling up to his wife...) And Mickey ignores them. And that must've been SO frustrating and scary for them. But they don't hold it against him, because they understand!
Then we see Mickey go to Lip and ask about the doctor after the debacle with the suitcases. And Lip is visibly worried, but when Mickey tells him things are okay, he believes him. Or he doesn't quite believe him, but he doesn't push. And this is something I often see people think the opposite of. People often seem to believe that Lip will push Mickey over Ian's Bipolar, that he won't let him handle it himself and just insert himself in and not trust Mickey has things handled. And honestly, after this I wouldn't have blamed him if that was true. But it's just NOT.
Then we really get into it. Episode 5 happens. Ian hasn't come home and Mickey goes to find him and learns he left the club with some other guy and he's pissed. But he can't get to Ian, so he goes after Lip. (Just like in 1x03...) He and his brothers invite Lip to join them in their shooting stolen guns at a window thing, then try and leave him to take the fall. They literally could've destroyed his entire life. And look, Lip was an adult and made the choice to join them. But at the end of the day, Mickey was angry at Ian and tried to take that out on Lip. AND IT IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN! Lip never holds it against him. He could've. Maybe even should've. But he doesn't.
Because the very next episode is when Ian has taken Yevgeny and Lip goes to the Milkovich house with Fiona and is totally fine with both Mickey and Iggy and it's like nothing happened. And the car scenes!
Mickey apologises because he realises that he should've listened to Fiona and Lip when they told him that Ian needed help. And Lip responds that yes, he should've. Because he should have. Then proceeds to let him know it can get worse. But then the second car scene, once they have Ian. Lip tells Mickey that he did his best. That he knows he tried, and that that's more than most people would do. With no prompting. Literally the episode before this, Mickey and his brothers had tried to set him up for a crime they'd committed and didn't apologise or anything, and yet Lip is so quick to assure him he did okay. Despite the fact that he likely does have some anger at the fact that he didn't listen to them from the start.
Then when he and Fiona are going to pick Ian up from the hospital, he says he thought Mickey would be there. Lip can see how much Mickey loves Ian. He was surprised he wasn't there.
That deleted scene from after Ian didn't go to Mexico with Mickey next. "People say "You always went a little loco when Mickey was around." THAT LINE WASN'T ANYTHING ABOUT IAN'S BIPOLAR OR THE WAY MICKEY HANDLED IT! It was a "I know how in love with Mickey you are and how much you'd do to be with him." That wasn't a criticism of Mickey. And Lip saying he doesn't think he should've gone wasn't either. It was just that he didn't wanna lose his brother, and that he also knew it likely wouldn't be good for his health. (Which I talked about in my last post...)
In Season 10 when Ian tells Lip he thinks Mickey killed Paula, Lip's response is that of course he should lie to the police and say that Mickey was there all night.
Lip literally tells Ian he thinks he should marry Mickey the next episode, but only when he's ready. That first he needs to figure out why he doesn't want to at that moment. And he was right. Ian was so clearly going through something at that point in time, struggling with his feelings of worthiness and about his Bipolar and legally binding Mickey to that for the rest of his life.
And then along with everyone else Lip does everything in his power to make the wedding happen. Which, yes the wedding is also his brother's. But you don't go that far to make sure your brother gets to marry someone you don't approve of or like.
In S11 there's the "family only" moment, but I get what Lip meant there. It wasn't that he didn't consider Mickey to be family, it was that he felt the conversation should only be the Gallagher siblings. This was their childhood home, it was a discussion between them. He also told Tami to back off. The "What so Mickey's family but Tami isn't" thing also didn't come off as a criticism of Mickey being family to me, more as a "Tami is the mother of my child, marriage isn't the only way to become family." But I get that might just be me.
And they butt heads a lot, I get that. But at the end of the day, Lip does approve of Mickey. I'd even go as far as to say he likes and cares about him.
Now onto Fiona.
Let's start with the fact that she had no idea anything was even going on between them until suddenly Mickey was living in their house. And she never really said anything about it. Just had a little confusion about it.
The real starting point is when she realised Ian was Bipolar. People claim she did a bad job at explaining it to Mickey and made it sound like something that could never be stabilised in any way and that the only answer was hospitalisation. But like, she was terrified too. Her little brother who she loves is in a depressive episode and she's just realised he's likely Bipolar and the only experience she has of it is her mother. Monica. She was absolutely terrified because the last experience she had with Monica at that point in time was her slitting her wrists in the kitchen. Her entire childhood was totally chaotic because Monica wasn't taking her meds. (Plus everything with Frank, and I'll always say he's far worse!! But this isn't about him...) She has never experienced someone actually being able to live a good life with bipolar where they're not just hurting everyone around them. And of course she was getting frustrated, because even though logically she would've understood that Mickey just doesn't know anything about Bipolar, it likely felt like he was invalidating her trauma. ("Depressed? We all get fucking depressed." "He's depressed we'll cheer him up." "I'll hide the knives until he perks up.") Not only would that feel like he was just saying "it can't be that bad, you're overreacting and I can fix this." but also some of these things are likely things she'd thought or said about Monica when she was younger. Trying to cheer her up when she's depressed, trying to downplay it a bit to help herself deal. But she knows from experience that's not how it works. And she's terrified because now it's her little brother.
But she agrees to let Mickey take care of him. She can see how much this means to him, that he's determined and that he's not going to let her get him to a doctor. (Even though legally she could've as he was still underage and she was his legal guardian...)
And people also seem to think that the Gallaghers just abandoned Ian with the Milkoviches while he was depressed and didn't help out or anything, but the scene of her and Ian going for that run together doesn't feel that way at all to me. I've always felt they'd go to see him whenever they could and do what they could to help out. But at the end of the day, he was at the Milkovich house and they couldn't just be there at all times. (Just another criticism I see a lot that I hate...)
As I said in Lip's section, they go to see Mickey to talk to him about getting Ian to see a Doctor, and he refuses.
At the end of the episode when Ian shows up to their pool party Fiona immediately asks where Mickey is. Which means that she not only either extended the invite to Mickey to come too, or just assumed he would, but also cared enough to ask after him when he didn't show.
In episode 2, Mandy asks Mickey if they should call Fiona when Ian's planning to go kill a bunch of homophobes. (This unintentional foreshadowing to Gay Jesus though...) Mickey immediately says no because she'll take him to a Shrink. Again, I get that's scary, but that was what he needed.
Mickey finally calls her when Ian takes Yevgeny and she immediately goes over there and calls Lip too. She also doesn't lay any blame at Mickey's feet. There's no getting annoyed that he didn't listen to them when they warned him. Just need to find Ian.
She smiles when Mickey calls himself Ian's boyfriend in the next episode when they're going to visit him. She's comforting towards him when Ian leaves after the visit by assuring him that he's just sedated and adjusting to meds and that it'll be okay. But doesn't push. Then later tells Gus that she thinks it was really hard for Mickey.
Here's the part where she gets the most criticism though. "I thought Mickey would be here." "I didn't." THIS WAS NOT ANYTHING AGAINST MICKEY! She had seen how hard the visit was for him. She saw his reaction and how freaked out he was. This wasn't her saying "I didn't think he'd come because he doesn't actually care about Ian and he's the worst!" No! It was her saying "I didn't think he'd come because I saw how much it hurt him seeing him like that and haven't heard from him since." Also, she wasn't wrong. He wasn't there. Like, we know why. He was struggling with everything and that is understandable. But why is Fiona just so awful for believing something that turned out to be true?
Then of course Mickey came back and all was good. And Fiona wasn't surprised by that. She never held it against him that he wasn't there to pick Ian up. There was no animosity. He offered to help her out with Carl's Court outfit stuff, she just asked if he could use an iron and then they walked off together to go do that and possibly talk or whatever.
Then Mickey was still just walking about the house like it was his own after Ian was arrested. This was totally normal to Fiona. There was no question whether Mickey would be going with them to see Ian in Military Prison. When they got back she was fine with leaving him with Debbie and Liam as if it was totally normal.
And I spoke about her line in S7 about how Mickey would set a match to Ian's life in my last post. But I'll say it again here. It wasn't about Mickey as a person or his relationship with Ian. It was about the fact that Mickey was literally a fugitive. He'd just escaped Prison and was a fugitive. Ian could not have been in a relationship with him at that time without destroying his entire life. Without losing his job. Without losing his family due to the fact that he would also now be a fugitive and wouldn't be able to have contact with them. Going with Mickey would cost him everything. She was right. He would've set a match to Ian's life. And he kinda did. To me it was never about her thinking Mickey was bad for Ian. She knew how much they love each other and she saw how good for each other they could be. But at that point in time, they couldn't have had a good relationship. The circumstances were too bad. She didn't want that life for Ian. Constantly looking over his shoulder because the Police were looking for him, always on the run, never able to really see his family.
They didn't have many interactions, but a lot of them were during a time where both were terrified for Ian and wanted to handle it in different ways. Both came from places of love. But Fiona's also came from a place of experience, while Mickey's came from a place of inexperience.
#shameless#shameless us#fiona gallagher#lip gallagher#mickey milkovich#criticising the act of pitting characters against each other#lip and fiona didn't treat mickey like shit#or unfairly#in fact they handled things better than i would've#if my brother was clearly unwell and his partner was actively keeping me from getting him help i'd never want them near him again#mickey milkovich critical#i guess?#not really but i wanna be safe#i love him#i really do#but i am fed up of so many narratives surrounding him#especially when it comes to the gallaghers#and i am getting it all out there#he was not always a victim of everyone#stop putting characters down just to bring your favourite up#stop victimising characters at the expense of making everyone else out to be the worst#it's what makes me end up hating characters#and not the ones you're making out to be the worst#there are characters i actively hate now just because their fans try to paint everyone else out to be awful to them#because people claiming one character is perfect makes me more critical of them#and then sometimes it gets to the point where all that mixed together just makes me hate them#and i don't think i'm the only one
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To me the king in yellow is like how to turn a sphere inside out. And to me John is how to turn a sphere inside out anthropomorphised
#Tainted by humanity is what he is. I think trying to make this whole again would make the king very very sick#physically. For the first time ever#Traps you in linear space and mortal limitation like a goldfish in an inadequate bowl. Shows you meaning and desire#A desire for freedom not only from a literal prison but to become a person. To experience things differently#It’s funny how reluctant he is to acknowledge what he was as the king and when pushed to he plays into it like a cartoon villain#“I dont want to talk about it :(“ “I DID IT I KILLED THEM ALL FUCK YOU” something tells me youre unwell and not in the eldritch way
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Shima is it Coralaw 👀👀👀

...................MAYBE
#Shima answers questions#Coralaw#NDJKASNMKJDSADSA#To be 100% clear I do NOT ship Law as a 13 year old child I ship him as an adult#They are both consenting adults!!#...At least in the context of an AU where Cora is alive!! And they reunited as adults!#Also the 13 years of separation and Law's devotion and dedication to Cora i.e. his tattoos his pirate crew#his jolly roger and his revenge quest on Doflamingo AND the intense pining got to me OKAY#No matter how you look at their relationship Law's devotion to Cora is NOT normal. That is not heterosexual behavior. LMAO#The dependency is so unhealthy and I am unwell.#At the VERY least I can definitely see it being one-sided on Law's end#Again you do not devote 13 years of your life to killing a man for someone and classify that as normal#Law didn't spend that amount of time on his parents OR his sister#It was just Cora. Squinting eyes emoji#Also I should have expected this when I made that post a month ago about them being platonic soulmates#Bc they ARE. And they could be...MORE#Anyway if this makes any of you uncomfy that is perfectly fine and valid#I probably won't talk about them in a shipping context too often anyway I just figured I'd bring it up!#You can block the tag or unfollow it's fine 👍#Just pwease no steppy#At the end of the day they are fictional characters. They are not real#Also iykyk but I blame a certain someone's amazing comic series for this. I have been CONVERTED#Listen I just want them to hug and hold hands okay. That is all 🥺#One Piece
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I have a enemies to lovers-lovers to enemies toxic yuri story with mattel i guess
#ever after high#eah#mattel#seriously i prefer the mattel winx and disney princess dolls#i hate on mattel but there is always worse things#they are bad with quality but they serve face i guess#im not okay thinking about eah again ofc..#i want to collect every eah thing#and i just found about kuu kuu harajuku and now im in love ugh i love dolls#enchantimals still exists and guys tbh i think i need to have its media because its what we still have from eah#like its an spin off and even tho i like mh g3 its like the monster high less related to eah yknow#so enchantimals is literally what was left#there were some things that could be released but werent#like the duchess lets down her hair book#and an apple playset called back to school#as much as i hate the most recent eah dolls this was an okay one#i was looking over the dolls and now i find some of them really pretty lmao#the line book party is all good but the kitty doll is 10/10 seriously i love her#and cedar birthday ball is actually so pretty? i used to hate birthday ball and hated their colorful hairs but i love her now#and these lines mentioned are still with the old facemolds and are fully articulated#i just found out about the eah merch site so im unwell#sorry i have lots of thoughts mattel is probably responsible for all my problems and blessings#the day it was oficially confirmed that eah was cancellef was 08/28/18#the same day the book duchess lets down her hair was supposed to be released#we lost so much dude
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super intrigued by the theme and content of 5sos6
#like. just thinking about what each of them have gone through the last year. is it a bad idea to guess? probably#michael became a parent which is really big. he’s been getting used to a new place. parenthood really seems to bring out the best in him#and the most classic michael things like. guitar and video games. gotta share that joy with the small human. he’s literally that person#ashton seems to be doing a lot of things he wants to and listening to himself in that way. with the cover band and drumeo and botd#and working with feldy again and showing up in australia in october to hang out with his siblings and playing shows and moving out of la#like I feel like he’s figured out a lot about himself. finding out where he’s been unsatisfied and I hope he managed to meet every need#calum went through a breakup. disappeared for a while. seems to be finding himself again since with the help of his friends#lukes had a huge year with his ep and 1000 interviews and tour which is a huge milestone for him. but he’s also been unwell for a lot of it#and he’s had to manage his ambitions and the outlet he uses to take care of himself in some ways with honouring his limits in other ways#they’ve all lost a friend too. all had to navigate what activism they do and don’t attempt. and everything else of 2024 generally#plus there’s also 2023. and looking back on the past. etc. lots of content#5 seconds of summer#5sos#5sos6 predictions#it’s also the longest gap they’ve had between albums since sgfg/yb (or will be if it’s not out by march next year)#michael clifford#ashton irwin#calum hood#luke hemmings
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talked to my friends about fortnite cause onea em keeps asking me to play and i was like 'you know my rules' which invites our other friend to start talking about how well they modeled magneto In Fortnite because he knows My Rules and overall how cool he was and chat when i tell you i was trying very hard not to be a freak about magneto to this person who does not know I Am A Moderate Freak About Magneto ...
#snap chats#i think he's catching on to the fact im unwell but let me be delusional a little longer...#nawww cause this friend was like 'i love how they modeled his head without the helmet :)' and i screamed internally#he definitely knows cause i literally stood up and did a zesty little contained spin after he said that#like yeah i know my wifes beautiful what do you want from me to throw up and cry on the spot because i will#like oh my god be normal for fiiiive seconds#anyway they visited cause they went to new york today and Friend 1 brought me back jollibees.....#new snap lore detail for those not in the know I Fucking Love Jollibees So Much <- filipino chicken place and heaven on earth#i am married to that bee idgaf that is my wife THEIR PIES ARE SO GOOD ADN I LOVE THEIR GRAVY AN PASTA AND#anyways. yeah so they stuck around for Way Longer Than Expected JVELKJEKAJV#and we was just talkin ...... im still waiting for them to put magneto back into fortnite...#the day that happens i shouold start streaming again .... lol ..... that wont happen im lying to all of you right now#anyway im sleeping now good night everyone !!!!!!! they should add magneto back into fortnite because i said so
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The color ver of this sucks uh here's the lines
#my art :3#apex legends#apex wattson#apex revenant#revenant#natalie paquette#wattson x revenant#revson#livewire#i'm mentally unwell#and never drawing them again#(lie)#and no I didn't forget the shoulder thing I didn't want to draw it#idk i like them sm#explodes#revwatt
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