#i want to be talented at making instant noodle

[russellsppttemplates]

Did you lose her? (Lando Norris)

Maybe it was never a change of heart

Note: english is not my first language. It's angsty with a happy ending, and it's also the first piece that's I've written that's based of a song, Stick Season by Noah Kahan. I hope I did it well enough! 🫶 also, it has smut, and if you have followed me for long enough, you know I don't usually do it, but I think it's these AUS pics 😮‍💨😌🥵

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: curse words, previous break-up and themes related to that, smut (mentions protected sex, hormonal contraception, praise kink if you squint at the whole thing)

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed

Doing the food shop was one one of the mundane adult life tasks you actually enjoyed doing. You had some music on your ears and walked along the supermarket, making sure you weren't buying too much outside of your list.

Tomato sauce and two packets of the instant noodles for when you didn't feel like cooking or were in a rush, you told yourself as you browsed through the aisle.

The scent should've been the first give away, but lots of people wore the same perfume. However, not all of them had the characteristic underlying scent that to this day meant comfort.

"Y/N! I wasn't expecting to see you", Cisca said as he placed the item she took from the shelf on her shopping cart, "goodness, how long has it been since we've seen you?", she smiled sadly.

Five months, you thought. One hundred and fifty two days since you and Lando parted ways and you shipped your belongings back to England. You told yourselves it was amicable and that you'd still be there for eachother, but you had published your first article and he had started his season without the other by your side.

"It's been some time, yes. How are you?", you wondered, "we've been good, you know how busy it gets around this time of year. But Savannah had their little girl, Athena - let me show you a picture!", she scrambled her phone out of her bag.

"Oh, how cute!", you cooed at the little baby bundled up in a pink blanket, "Mila is such a good big sister, too!", she showed you a picture with the two of them in Lando's lap, the baby tucked safely into his chest as Mila seemed to be showing him one of her toys.

Gulping and swallowing the tears that threatened to fall, you looked up at her and smiled, "I'm glad everyone is doing good - send Oliver and Sav my congratulations!", you nodded, hoping she would get the hint.

Storing her phone back in her bag, Cisca smiled, resembling the smile that you woke up many times to, "I will, darling. All the best for you, hopefully we'll see you around", she said before rubbing your back soothingly.

You found an aisle without people and allowed yourself to cry. Just for a little bit before you had to go back to pretend it didn't hurt still.

And I'll dream each night of some version of you

That I might not have, but I did not lose

"I'm on the podium, dad!", Lando yelled as he hugged Adam, cackling in excitement as he hugged the team who were there to celebrate and congratulate him.

"Congratulations, baby!", you yelled as Lando turned to hug you, arms going around your waist and pulling you as close as the safety barriers allowed, clicking open his visor so you could look at your favourite eyes in the world.

"I love you so much, Y/N!", he yelled back, winking before he went up to get weighed in.

On the podium, he looked at you like you two were the only people there, smiling up at him as he blew you a kiss.

"I knew you'd be on the podium, baby", you smiled once you were back in his driver's room, "How are you so sure?", he wondered, kissing your neck soflty.

"The development they're doing, your talent, Lando, I knew it was going to happen, and from now on, you better get used to being up there every single weekend", you smirked, kissing from his throat to his jaw and up to his lips, humming when his tongue poked at your lips begging for entrance.

It was hot and he was sweaty. His phone read 4:30am as he stood up against the headboard, finding the light switch so he wouldn't walk around the hotel room in complete darkness.

It was the third night in a row you showed up in his dreams. The first time, it was subtle as he dreamed about flying on plane and he was sure you were there. The past two, however, had you in there as a main character. He dreamed of walking in the paddock with you, of having you there to comfort him and knock some sense in his head when his P4 in qualifying didn't feel enough, and now you were celebrating his podium.

It's weird how his brain went there, how his arms and face felt like they had truly been holding you despite not having done it in months. Muscle memory betrayed, he thought as he poured himself some water and took little sips of it as he looked outside the window.

Fuck, he missed you. And not just for these big moments where he was on a high and wanted to share it with you or when he was do low you were the only person that could make him crawl out of the dark hole he snuck himself into. It's when he's making his bed back home and the other pillow remains fluffed because no one's using it, it's the mug you left behind and he doesn't have the courage to send back to you or give to someone else or when he sees something that reminds him of you and he gets it, hoping one day he can get them to you.

You once called me forever, now you still can't call me back

Lando sighed again as the call went to voicemail. It was the third time it happened in the last couple of hours. It was media day at Suzuka and they were having lunch.

"You know it's 3 am back in England, right?", Oscar asked bluntly, "when we were having breakfast, sure, you might have got hold of her if she was doing a late night, but I think you should wait", he reasoned.

Oscar was right. He didn't want to risk it waking you up even though he was sure your phone was on silent since you loved your sleep dearly.

"I hate this", Lando muttered, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. Oscar was aware of some of what had happened between Lando and you. The start of the season always came with new gossip and this one's was filled with rumours and conspiracy theories about the paddock's sweetheart and young couple.

Lando started driving in Formula One when he was nineteen, so they had seen his grow up through the years along with your relationship. At first, you were pinned down as his sister, then a best friend when they realised you didn't share genetics, and then you were his girlfriend. The lingering touches and big smiles they caught never rushed you to admit your feelings or put a label on your relationship, but everyone was there when you walked hand in hand on the paddock and confirmed the suspicions they had for months. Lando Norris and his best friend were in love and they all felt like proud parents as they watched you support him unconditionally every time you could.

"Did you lose her?", Oscar quesioned his team-mate as he picked on the food on his plate.

"I don't have her with me, have I?", Lando snapped and regretted it almost immediately.

Oscar put it down to tiredness, jet lag and the fact that he seemed a bit lost on how he was navigating the situation, "What I'm saying is, did you lose her? Did you do your absolute best to keep her with you?", he said sternly, "Used all of the options and possibilities and it still didn't work out? You don't lose someone because things fell apart in a stressful situation", he reasoned.

He was young but not dumb, truly.

"Feels like I have though", Lando added.

"What I'm saying is if you really want to know how she is and if you want to have an honest conversation with her, you have to make an effort. Not just calling and asking your mother to see if she's spotted her lately, or your sisters to check in your circle of friends whether or not she has moved on", Oscar lectured.

"Do you think I can do it? Do I have what it takes?", Lando confessed his doubts out loud. One of the reasons he had yet to act on it was because having a second chance wasn't for everyone and he needed to make sure it went perfect. You deserved that.

"You're a Formula One driver with deep pockets and a massive heart that still belongs to someone. What can't you do?", the young australian driver mused before he got up, taking his plate with him and leaving Lando pondering about what to do next.

I hope this pain's just passin' through

You sang loudly as you dusted the living room shelves, windows open to let the autumn air in. While cleaning wasn't your favourite thing to do, you had woken up with an urge to clean and given that it happened very rarely, you were taking it in stride.

So far, you found a receipt of a pair of jeans you were meant to return but gave your friends instead, a concert ticket and a bigger amount of dust than you'd like to admit. When you pulled the fabric strap, though, you knew that you wouldn't want to get rid of it. The lanyard belonged to one of the passes for one of the Grand Prix weekend you went to see Lando. Inspecting it closer, you realised it was his second home race, the Polaroid picture attached to it confirming the date.

It started with you joking about the fact that the pass was not the prettiest, so Lando hunted down the paddock to find a Polaroid camera, snapping a picture of you two and pinching a hole on it so you could carry it around and cover the supposed ugly pass. The photo was still intact, just a little dusty as you wiped it with your sleeve. Lando was kissing your cheek as you smiled impossibly big, eyes squinty and smile beaming because of the guy whose lips were on your cheek.

A single teardrop fell on the plastic covered paper before a few more followed as you sat down, looking at what you had once been and how things were right now. The missed calls on your phone led you to believe that maybe he still felt something too, but the potential heartache of trying again and it not working would hurt more than it already does.

The vibration from watch caught your attention as you read the two notifications. One from your e-mail with Qatar Airways written in bold and a text from Lando.

Qatar Airways

Thank you for choosing to fly with Qatar Airways!

Lando ✨️

I need you here with me, Y/N, please

I made the flight reservation for you, they will hold the ticket until two hours before the flight leaves, you just have to confirm with your passport ❤️

You promised me that I was more than all the miles combined

Heathrow Airport, 7th October 2023, 6:30 am.

You couldn't back out now, that would mean Lando would lose the money he spent to get you here in the first place. It wasn't by all means quiet, but your thoughts were loud enough.

You shouldn't be here. Why were you here? Why did you accept this, Y/N?

Because Lando needed you there.

Simple as that.

Boarding the flight, you smiled and thanked as the flight attendant pointed to the area where your seat was and where you would spend the next six hours and a half.

"I'm sorry, our seats are by the window", a woman in her thirties said as she bounced a little girl on her hip, making you get up so she could get to it, "thank you", she smiled, sitting down and buclking herself and her daughter to her body.

"Lyla, you can't go pulling on other people's clothes - I'm so sorry", she apoligised as the little girl pulled on your shirt's detailed button buckle.

"No worries, I know how restless they can get. You do the best for your baby. You're only responsible for yours and her emotions, no one else's on this plane", you offered her, remembering the times you would take flights and fully grown adults would go up to a stressed parent to let them know they could hear their crying child as if the parents themselves didn't know.

"My husband is somewhere in there, too", she chuckled, sometimes I feel I'm responsible for his too - accountantable in a way at least", she chuckled.

"You weren't able to sit together?", you wondered.

"My husband planned the weekend to go watch a race and come back, but we found some holiday days and we decided on a spontaneous trip. This was the only seat left they had", she explained.

"I can change seats if you want", you offered, "I'm flying on my own and I'll get to the destination all the same", you giggled.

"You wouldn't mind?", she asked, relief settling over her as she tried to see her husband, waving at him to come closer as you touched the button to call the flight attendant as the passengers were all sat down on your section.

"This lovely young woman says she doesn't mind switching seats with you", she said to her husband as you spoke to the flight attendant.

"No, there's no problem with that if you both agree", the flight attendant smiled as you got up, ignoring the frown on the man next to you who had to get up so you could swap, "bye bye, Lyla!", you waved at the little girl before her parents thanked you once again.

Finding your new seat, you put your bag under the seat in front and sat down, excusing yourself to the older couple next to you, "I just swapped seats with the gentleman that was here, I'm sorry", you smiled, hoping they wouldn't be too mad.

"Oh, he was able to sit with his family after all - I told you, Harold!", the lady winked at her husband, "I'm Francesca, you can call me Fran", she said sweetly.

Despite the early flight, they both seemed to be full of energy as they started telling you stories of their life and family, showing pictures of their kids and grandkids.

"One day you'll have all of that with the person you love, darling - if that's something you want, of course!", Harold peeped in, "our granddaughters are always telling me not everyone wants the same things!", he chuckled softly.

"It's okay - I would like that, actually", you smiled sadly as Francesca landed her hand on top of yours.

"Why does that sound like a confused heart, dear?", she commented, reading you like a book. The flight was closer to be three quarters of the way to the destination, so you still had some time to kill.

"A little bit; I'm actually flying over to see the person who still has this confused heart", you mumbled.

"Your eyes sparkle when you talk about him, dear - something tells me he's going to 'unconfuse' your heart", she smiled, "tell me about him".

"Godness", you chuckled, "He's kind, respectful, honest, goofy, cute, charming, loving, he's all that is good. We just lost our way, I think", you recalled, smiling at the thought of him.

"You'll find it back, dear. Life has mysterious ways but it has the right ways - I like to believe it does, anyway", the older lady assured, squeezing your hand in hers.

Waving goodbye to Harold and Francesca when you found the taxi bay, you requested to be taken to the paddock.

When you got there, you payed the kind driver before he helped you take your suitcase from the boot, "enjoy the race!", he smiled.

You were thankful all eyes were on the track already, making you cross the whole paddock and step into McLaren's hospitality quickly after collecting your pass.

"Y/N!", Zak said as he was the first person to spot you, "you're here, you came!", he smiled, hugging you tightly, "we're all very happy you're here", he said as he asked one of the team members to store your suitcases somewhere appropriate before leading you to the corridor to the drivers' rooms.

"Lando is inside, and the race starts in less than ninety minutes, so you won't talk all you need to, but it's a good start", he said, knocking on the door before he left.

When Lando heard the knock, he hoped it was you. Sophie and Oscar were great people, but in the last hour, everytime he opened the door, theirs were the faces he saw instead of yours.

"Y/N", he welcomed you into his room before closing the door, "I hope it's okay that I flew you here, thank you for coming", he said as he hesitated on giving you a hug.

Taking a step forward, you laced your arms around his waist as he did the same around your shoulders, inhaling eachother's scent and feeling like a weight was lifted off both of you, "I missed you so much, Y/N", he whispered before you pulled apart.

"It's not the first time you've done that for me", you fumbled with your hands, "although I was very surprised. We haven't spoken to eachother in some time, Lando", you sterned.

"Not because I didn't try", he bit bat with an ironic chuckle, "Why did you come here then?", he defended, taking your words as immediate offense and not taking a second to process them properly.

"Because even though we're not together anymore, you matter to me. I care about you! I'm not sure what monster you depict me as or that you imagine I've turned into, but I wouldn't dream of wishing you misery! If you call me and tell me you need me here, I'll be here because I care about you!", you snapped, "you have no idea how many times I wanted to give up and cancel this! Why am I here, Lando?", you asked.

You didn't expect him to react that way, not that you had a much better reaction anyway.

"Fuck, this is not how we do this", you took a deep breath as Lando held your hands in his, mimicking your movements as he did the same. Three long deep breaths, in and out, in and out, in and out.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that", Lando began, hands laced on yours still, "thank you for bring here, I needed you here because there's no one else in the world that can make me feel comfortable like you do, and I need that. I need to feel like myself - and I know it's a selfish ask to make you get up and drop your things to be here with me but-", you interrupted him.

"It's okay, Lando, you're okay", you cooed, searching for his eyes and hoping you'd get the message your mouth was failing to say through.

You pulled him to sit in front of you in the massage table, "I've been seeing all the podiums you've been getting - the team have done such a great job developing, and your talent and skills have brought it to the podium", you tried a lighter subject even though you were 99% sure of his worries.

"Oscar still qualified above me", he began, "He's a rookie and he's managed to do in months what I haven't done in five years", he allowed himself to express his feelings. After all, it was you.

"Oscar is not driving a tractor like you were", you shrugged your shoulders as Lando laughed.

"For someone who was invited last minute and got a pretty good pass, I'm not sure how the team would feel about you talking like that", he smirked, hand finding your own as he rubbed his thumb on your palm.

"I'm only telling the truth", you smiled, "and I mean it. I know how this sport works, but you shouldn't compare yourself to your teammate when the circumstances are so different", you mused.

"The team have been great and they still haven't said anything", he reasoned.

"Of course they haven't because it's something that happens, Lando. I was watching the highlights and so many drivers went over the limits because that's how this track goes", you stated, "there's only so much you can do and you shouldn't put all that pressure on yourself", you tsked, "I know you do, but you shouldn't", you smiled.

"You always know what to say, don't you?", he chuckled, "I have an inkling on how this here works", you winked and tapped his head with your free hand.

A knock on the door interrupted your moment as Jon opened it right after, "Lando, we need to start prepping for the sprint", he said before he turned to you, "Hi Y/N, good to have you back!", he smiled before he let you finish what you were doing.

"I should go, then", Lando trailed off, "are you going to browse around the paddock? I bet a lot of people miss you and your face here", he nudged.

"I came here for you, I don't care about anyone else", you smiled as you leaned over to press a kiss on his cheek for a few seconds, smiling against his warm skin before grabbing your bag and walking out.

Most of the team must've known you were coming since not many of them took a second look whenever you greeted them or entered a different area.

One of the media girls got you a set of headphones as she stood next to you, Oscar and Lando getting ready to go to the track.

His routine hadn't changed as your eyes followed him while he got dressed appropriately and safely for the race.

Before Lando put his helmet on he looked back at you, winking and smiling when you winked back.

When the gap wasn't closing in, you knew Lando would be disappointed with P3, not because of the place itself but because his team-mate had done better.

As you moved to a better spot to watch the interviews on the media pen, your heart felt like someone was using it like a trampoline, jumping and stomping on it as Lando spoke about himself with such a negative tone.

Surely, the interviewers were fishing for answers with biased questions and his mind took him there.

As you waited for him to be back to the hospitality, you got yourself something to eat, realising you hadn't done it since the plane.

Lando was beating himself up and he couldn't shake the bad mood he was in even when he thought you had travelled to see him and be there for him.

As Sophie gave him a quick debrief about his interviews, he stepped into his driver's room so he could have a quick shower and then head to the team debrief.

"It wouldn't hurt going up to her, you know?", Jon told him, ready to take any harsh words first if it meant you didn't hear them.

"I know it wouldn't, I'm just going to eat something and then I'll join the debrief with the rest of the team", Lando mumbled as he walked up to you.

"Hey", he said sitting down on the sofa next to you.

"Hey, Lando", you said, testing the waters and approaching his body until you rested your head on his shoulder.

"You are going to get your win, Lando. It's going to be an amazing weekend and it's going to be your first. Surely important, but you'll be a race winner and go on to the next race", you said as he seemed to be unsure of the tone you were going for, "as that will be a big moment in a long career - because it won't define it - this doesn't define you either, as a person and as a driver", you concluded, hoping to bring a little bit of his confidence and self-esteem back up a little.

"And you're going to be there?", he asked. He was feeling like shit and needed to know. It wasn't fair, but he needed to know.

"I can't make promises like that, not before we speak properly", you remarked, looking up at him from where you were, kissing his cheek and squeezing his hand in yours, "do you want me to stay here or should I go back to the hotel?", you asked. It wasn't the right time or the right place to talk about it.

"Could you stay here, please?", he said as you took your book out of your bag, knowing it would run long and you'd need some entertainment as there was only so much catching up you could do with the team when they're suppose to be working.

"I will, then", you said as Lando took the plunge and kissed the top of your head.

Ten chapters and a tea later, Lando tapped your shoulders, "I'm finished, are we ready to go?", he asked as you got up accepting his hand to hold as you walked out of the hospitality, grabbing your suitcase from the storage room and bidding goodbye to the team.

"I couldn't get a separate room for you, but the room I'm staying in has this living room area and the sofa opens into a bed, they said it's really comfy and they also left an extra mattress topper and some blankets", Lando said as he drove, "in case you didn't feel comfortable, I- I just want you to feel comfortable", he emphasised nervously.

"Lando, you don't need to walk on eggshells, okay? It's me", you smiled reassuringly as he stole a quick look at you before focusing back on the road, "sounds like a nice solution, fine by me", you reassured him.

Leaving the car to the valet and taking the lift up with you, you stayed silent until you were inside the hotel room, "That's the bedroom area, bathroom's here - and it has a double sink - and then the living room", Lando patted the extra linen folded on the sofa.

"Thank you", you assented, "would you like to talk now or is it bad timing? You must be tired f,-".

"Yes, please", he agreed immediately sitting on the sofa and making room for you to sit in front of him.

"I don't know where to begin", you observed after a while, "it's been tough being without you - I have been so used to having you there for me and to be there for you that nothing quite has the same meaning. I can live without you - barely, but I can -, that's not the question, but I don't want to", you manifested.

"We ended things because we had to, and it did us both well to see from another perspective - that's what it felt for me anyway -, but I want to be with you and to have you with me", he elaborated, "I don't care if you have to spend more time back home because of the distance, or come with me to the races because of the distance, too, I-".

"It was never about the distance, Lando", you interjected. You both used that excuse way too many times but deep down you knew it wasn't because of it.

"We'll work it out then", Lando suggested, "we'll work on us because knowing eachother doesn't mean we don't have to put ourselves first and keep investing on our relationship. I value you so much Y/N, I love you so much and I want to do this right", he whispered as if he spoke any louder would disturb the moment.

"I love you too", you smiled as you laced your hands together, "we'll work on it, together".

It was already late so Lando offered you the bathroom so you could shower and do your night routine first and then make the sofa bed to your liking while he did his night routine.

"Good night, angel", Lando said after you hugged him goodnight, kissing the top of your head before letting you lie down first since the light on his bedside table was the only one illuminating the room.

After you cocooned yourself in the sheets comfortably, you spoke up, "Lando, I'm sorry I didn't answer back sooner", you apoligised.

"It's okay, love, you don't have to worry about that", he cooed softly and you could hear the smile on his voice.

"I know it's not, but thank you for making me feel better about it, goodnight", you smiled, feeling hopeful about it.

The next morning, you were woken up by the noise coming from the bathroom, assuming Lando was showering inside as you stretched, surprised at how well you slept. Maybe the bedding was genuinely nice, the sofa bed wasn't bad to begin with, especially considering the hotel you were staying in, or maybe it was the fact that for the first time in months, you fell asleep knowing the person who your heart belonged to was more than happy to let you keep his, too, and he was in the same space as you.

"Good morning, beautiful", Lando smiled as he noticed you were awake already, "did you sleep well?".

"Good morning, Lan", you yawned, "I did, really well, actually. At what time do we have to be at the track?", you wondered. It was a night race, so the call up was later than usual.

"I'm leaving after breakfast, but you can stay and head there later if you want", Lando declared as you walked up to him, "I just need to freshen up and get ready", you smiled, kissing his cheek and heading for the bathroom with your clothes.

As soon as you arrived at the track, you took one of the back entrances as you knew Lando would spend some time with the fans and other drivers he bumped into, finding a nice spot on the lounge and going back to your book.

"I'm going to start race prep", Lando stopped by you in the lounge after a quick meeting, "I probably won't talk to you much until afterwards so I just came to check on you", he reasoned.

Getting up, you moved to one of the corridors, leaning up to kiss his forehead softly, "Good luck, my love, you're going to do so well, I know it", you smiled against his skin.

"I have my lucky charm with me", he smirked, kissing the top of your head before he got back to Jon.

From P10 to P3, Lando had an eventful race. Fortunately, and compared to the rest of the grid, he seemed to be doing fairly well as he stood in front of AC Units while replenishing the water he lost during the fifty-seven laps.

"I'm so proud of you!", you cooed as he got back to the garage, shaking hands with all the mechanics and engineers before he got to you. You hugged his sweaty body, not caring about it as long as you felt his close to you.

"They're postponing race debrief so I'm going to shower quickly and then we can get going, beautiful", he smiled, kissing a spot on your cheek very close to your lips.

Smiling giddily, you went to the bar area to get a bottle of water for yourself as Sophie walked last you, "seems like we will be seeing a lot more of you again soon - maybe Zak can also hire you as our lucky charm!", she winked as you shook your head, blood rushing to your cheeks at her words.

Back in the hotel room, it was your turn to freshen up and get ready to sleep. The spirits were high and you were feeling like the wait time was over. Your heart was healed enough as you sat on Lando's bed, "I'm so proud of you, you had an incredible drive tonight", you smiled as you moved closer to him as he sat on the edge, back against the headboard and one leg on the mattress while the other hung beside the mattress.

"It felt so good", he smiled, "thank you for supporting me", he cupped your cheek as he silently asked you for permission to kiss your lips. Lando couldn't waste anymore time as he pulled you to him so he could kiss you properly, your legs on either side of his as you straddled him, revelling in the feeling of being in eachother's hold as your hands played with his hair while his held your waist.

"As much as I'd love to continue this, I'm exhausted, baby", he rubbed your thighs, "it's okay, my love, I wasn't thinking of letting you do anything else anyway", you smiled, kissing his nose softly before you got on one knee so you could flop to the side and land on the mattress.

"Sleep here, yes?", he mused and you nodded, undoing the bed and getting under the sheets, his arm holding you to him and making sure he didn't let go.

As if you'd leave anyway.

4.30am and Lando woke up again. This time however, the sight he longed to see was right there. The you he had and had got back, cuddled up to his chest as your leg was hoisted up on top of his own and very close to his aching cock.

As he tried to change the angle so every time you moved, your smooth skin wouldn't pratically tease him, you stirred in your sleep, eyes opening as he tried to adjust your knee.

"Is everything alright, baby? Am I hurting you?", you said as you recoiled from his body.

"No, angel, no!", he quickly guaranteed, "I'm sorry I woke you up, it's just that your knee was very close to me and I was having a hard time dealing with it".

"A hard time indeed", you snickered as you felt his hard-on strained on his Calvin Kleins. Dating after being friends for so long brought an easy joking side to your relationship so much easier and funnier as you wouldn't get offended with most of what you said to eachother, "need help with that?", you smirked.

"But I wanted to treat you", Lando pouted, "Can I, gorgeous girl?", he whispered as he kissed up your neck once you whispered "yes", hands roaming on your body as he pulled up your nightshirt, finding your nipples and twisting them slightly to work your body up the way you did with his.

Your sighs and whimpers let him know he was doing a good job as undressed your torso, littering small kissed from your throat to your tummy, "you're so gorgeous, Y/N, I can't believe you're mine", he said as he blew a raspberry on your tummy, earning giggles from you before he licked up a stripe near your panties line.

"You know how much I like it when you wear your pink panties", he voiced as he touched you over the cotton fabric, feeling you pulsate already, "Do you like it when I tease you over your pink panties, baby?".

"Yes", you scrambled out betwen moans and deep breaths, "Oh my Goodness, princess", he cooed as you squirmed, "You want me to fill this pussy up?", he wondered as you let out a yes followed but a deep mewling sound.

"Let me take a little peek, then", as his fingers pushed the fabric down, a string of wetness caught in the material as he smiled, "Oh my Goodness, look at this pretty little pink pussy", he kisses your clit, "all of you, you're se beautiful, baby".

Rubbing the inside of your thighs with his thumbs, pressing the soft skin as he got rid of your underwear, "Are you going to let me fill you up?", he asked as he wouldn't do it without consent.

"Yes, please do it, Lan", you moaned, hand looking for his own to hold.

"You don't need to say please, my love - here", he whispered as he laced your hands together, "you'll always have me, you hear me? I'm yours, sweet girl", he smiled.

His hand that wasn't securely laced in yours helped you take his underwear off before he came back up to kiss your lips softly.

"Does it feel good when I tease your clit like that, gorgeous?", he smirked as he ran the tip of his cock in your sensitive bud, "Yes - uhg, baby", you gasped, looking into his eyes and swearing you could get lost in them had you not been in such a state of arousal as you were.

"You look so pretty like this, my beautiful, sweet girl", he praised as he saw your twitches and heard your moans at his words, "we need protection, though", he stated.

"I'm good, didn't see anyone else - you?", you wondered as he shook his head, "didn't see anyone else either - condom?", he asked, making you nod and separate so he could get it from his toiletries bag. Hormonal contraception left you feeling worse that it made your life easier, so you and Lando always used condoms.

Rolling it down his shaft, Lando climbed back in the bed and kissed your lips, adjusting himself before he entered you.

You whimpered as Lando slid inside you, a low groan escaping from his throat as he gently slid, taking your hand back in his and resting them next to your head on the pillow.

"You feel so good for me, sweet girl, so wet so warm, so good - aah", he breathed out, "so tight, my sweet sweet girl", he squeezed his eyes shut at the feeling of your walls squeezing him.

You stretched your arm out enough to pull his face closer to yours, kissing his jaw and then his lips before whispering "you can move, love".

Lando pulled back slowly, thrusting in gently to begin with and savouring how you felt around him.

"I love you", you muttered into his neck between moans as he picked up the pace, thrusting into you faster, harder and deeper.

"I'm close", Lando groaned as he felt your walls clench around him, his hand crawling between your bodies and drawing lazy circles on your clit to get you to your release.

"Me too, feels so good, I feel so good", you moaned out, a high pitch one particularly when you felt the band was about to snap.

“My sweet girl, my beautiful sweet girl, are you going to come for me?”, Lando worked you up as your body started to show signs of it, "let go, my love, I'm here, I've got you”, he soothed, still gently rubbing your clit with one hand and keeping hold of the other.

Your back arched, sensitive nipples rubbing against his skin, as you came with a high-pitched whine, nuzzling your face on his thick neck as you came undone around him. Lando came soon after, his hand that was not holding yours groping your waist as he groaned.

“Good, sweet girl, that was good, you did so well for me. I’ve got you, it's okay", he assured as he felt you flutter around him, probably from overstimulation considering neither of you had been with anyone else and you hadn't slept a full night yet, the tiredness he felt also a cause for how quickly he finished.

Lando kissed your forehead sweetly before he pulled out, getting up and throwing out the condom on the bathroom bin before he cane back to you on the bed.

"Let's put this on, yeah?", he whispered soflty as he helped you put on his linen shirt, buttoning it enough to let you breathe but still feel hugged by the fabric, and then a clean pair of underwear he got from your suitcase.

Before he laid in bed with you again, he put on his own underwear, pulling you to his arms and then pulling the crisp white covers over you.

"Do you feel good, baby?", he asked once you were cuddled up to him, "yes, I do", you smiled, a mixture of post sex glow and being back in his arms.

"Thank you for not giving up on us, I love you, sweet girl", Lando said as he played with your fingers, bringing them up to his mouth so he could kiss every single one of them, "you're the best thing in my life", he mumbled, letting you drift off to sleep.

[lancermylove]

Random HCs

Fandom: Obey Me

Pairing: No pairing. Featuring DB and Royals.

Warning: None

Prompt: Random HCs for chuckles and giggles.

A/N: For all those who are exhausted, having a bad day, and struggling, I hope this makes you laugh.

———————————————

Mammon

Mammon once tried to make a pyramid scheme business involving selling rare pebbles he found in the backyard.

He secretly practices his cool guy poses in front of the mirror every morning.

Mammon has a collection of sunglasses, each pair named after a famous celebrity from the human realm.

He’s convinced that adding “The Great” before his name on all his social media profiles will make him go viral. Asmo has told him many times it won't work, but Mammon is determined.

The brothers catch Mammon often talking to inanimate objects, like convincing his wallet to magically refill itself. Asmo even has a few videos of these conversations on his phone. If you want to see it, Asmo is taking a payment of cheek kisses for each video.

Mammon once got stuck in a vending machine while trying to get a snack that got jammed. It turned out the vending machine was a mimic. His brothers still tease him about it.

Mammon thinks he’s a master chef because he can make instant noodles without burning them.

The second brother invented a new dance move called "The Mammon Shuffle," but it looks suspiciously like him tripping over his own feet.

Barbatos

He has a hidden talent for stand-up comedy but only practices in front of his mirror when he’s sure no one’s watching.

Barbatos has a secret collection of novelty aprons with quirky phrases, which he wears while cooking when no one is around.

Barbatos keeps a detailed journal of all the times he’s had to clean up after Diavolo’s “enthusiastic” projects, complete with the commentaries from the peanut gallery.

He also keeps a list of all the times he had to intervene in the brothers’ schemes. That too by rank of how ridiculous they were.

The butler has a secret talent for juggling, which he practices with kitchen utensils while he waits for dishes to finish cooking.

Barbatos has a habit of organizing the pantry alphabetically, and he gets annoyed when someone messes it up.

He once tried to teach a cooking class to the brothers, but it turned into a comedy show with flying ingredients and accidental fires. Then, Solomon showed up the next day asking for cooking lessons, and Barbatos disappeared into thin air. Now, Solomon is permanently banned from entering the royal kitchen.

For the rest, visit my website: Random HCs

———————————————

➣  Please visit my website for the full masterlist!

[glupikrol]

uhm.... sekaistuck

Here's my analysis of n25's classpects, I also made art of them, and changed the godtier designs a bit to fit them better, made it a bit more personalized.

Kanade - Sylph of Time

Sylph is a class that heals with their aspect, or creates the aspect in others.

One of the symbols of the aspect of time is music.

So you probably know where I'm going with this, Kanade wishes to save as much people with her music as possible, no matter the cost, even if it takes a toll on her physical and mental health. She spends as much time as possible on composing, to get more time she consumes energy drinks and eats instant noodles.

Sylphs have natural understanding of their aspect - Kanade is a composing prodigy, at the age of 10 she was making better music than her father, and in area conversations it's revealed that she's a living timer, she knows exactly when the light will turn green because she counts the seconds and never misses.

When she promised Mafuyu to keep composing for her, it made Mafuyu keep trying to look for her true self. So in classpect terms, she literally created more time for her. Her music also brings comfort to thousands of n25 listeners, keeps them going. Kanade is a patient person too, she has no problem in giving Ena more time to work on her art if it means it'll be better, in this case she's the most understanding in n25.

Mafuyu - Maid of Void

Maid is a class that is burdened by their aspect, and is also 'made' of it. It's often interpreted as a class that creates their aspect for themselves.

The aspect of Void symbolises emptiness, nothingness, the unknown, shadows, secrets, lack of meaning, but also infinite potential and hidden talents. It's an aspect of people lost in the dark.

So the Maid of Void creates nothingness, is made of nothingness, and is burdened by nothingness, which sounds weird but actually fits Mafuyu very much. She literally created empty SEKAI from her true feelings - how cold and empty she feels. She also keeps n25 and her true feelings a secret from her mother. And regarding the burden of nothingness - she is tired of not knowing who she is, she is tired of coldness and emptiness she feels in her chest.

But I don't think Mafuyu hates what void represents, she likes the calm and quiet of empty SEKAI, she cares about her empty aquarium, she does find some comfort in nothingness, it's just the fact that there's too much of it.

But it's not all sad and gloom, Void is hidden potential and talents, which Mafuyu has tons of, to the point it makes Ena jealous.

Ena - Prince of Space

Prince is someone who works hard and relies on outside validation. Basically Ena.

Space is associated with arts and crafts, it's about creating material stuff you can touch.

I don't have a coherent analysis here, just trust me bro. I really can't explain my thought process here as well as I want, so I'm just leaving you the short classpect description, check out the sources if you wanna know more about the classpect.

Mizuki - Knight of Heart

Knights are people who put up a front to hide their weaknessses and insecurities. They're also the guardian of their aspect.

Heart is an aspect of identity, Heart players live rich inner lives and are invested in self-discovery, they tend to be dramatic and often struggle with being misunderstood.

Mizuki does everything they can to hide their problems under their bubbly personality, they don't want to be too bothersome to others. When Ena is worried about them, Mizuki feels like they're a bad person. They've been hurt in the past, and struggle with anyone getting too close, essentially, guarding their Heart.

It may be hard to notice at first, but Mizuki is one of the most emotionally intelligent characters in the cast. They did self-discovery, they do self-retrospection, and in turn they understand other people better. They're quick to pick up when something is wrong, or when someone feels down - they see the little things. Mizuki was the first character to notice mafumom's weird behavior too.

Sources:

@classpect-navelgazing - My main source, I recommend checking them out because their theory is different than the classic view of the classpect and is pretty interesting. Very well made too! I think their aspects descriptions are better than the canon ones lmao.

@dahniwitchoflight - I used some of the elements of their theory too - most notably the bits about Maid and Sylph class. Good to check them out if you're interested!

The extended zodiac quiz - It has a lot of problems and I don't consider most of it canon, but the moons description and time's description are fine imo.

These sources are condtradictadory, yes, and while reading them you might notice that I didn't stick to some of the descriptions that much, but doing this little analysis I kept in mind that in the end the classpects are more about the vibe than anything else (but also not really, you see, it's complicated)

[toyboxterror]

Natsuki Dating an Assassin Reader Headcanons

Pairing: Natsuki Seba/Reader (Romantic)

Contains: Gender neutral reader, no pronouns used, jealous Natsuki (but not towards the reader).

Author's Note: This is for the requester who asked for a jealous Natsuki with an assassin reader. I wrote it in bullet list form instead because I'm lacking the motivation to write anymore. I'm sorry, I hope I got his character right and you're still able to enjoy it. Thank you @jasminerva for helping me out again, this fic wouldn't be finished without her!

Even before you guys started dating, it's hard for the both of you to meet up and spend time together because you are in a different department.

However, you won't let it stop you. You always look for him whenever you have free time in your hands. Sometimes, you'll even skip your classes just to see the man you adore working on his weapons in his lab.

Natsuki often would tell you to go away, saying that you got your own work to do instead of slacking off in here with him. He did it because he didn't want you to fail your classes and trouble you, but he didn't tell you his reasonings directly. Because you're a stubborn person, you insisted on staying and promised him that you wouldn't get in the way of his work.

Your feelings slowly grew from there on, and so did his. You both started dating at some point. If you confessed first, he wouldn't respond for the first 20 minutes. Not because he didn't like you back, but because he had a hard time believing you.

Although Natsuki's greatest talent is making weapons, he would learn to make and fix non-lethal gadgets and equipment that can help you with your daily tasks. For example, he gifted you a machine that can make and cook your instant noodles in under a minute. Pretty handy when you're working on an essay and want a quick meal in the middle of the night!

He will remember it if you casually mention or rant about something that bothered you. Even if you don't ask him directly, he will work hard on upgrading your weapons or think of new equipment that could solve your problems if he's able to. However, he will act nonchalant, as if he didn't spend all nighter by pretending that the idea just popped into his head randomly when he hands them over to you. (The bags under his eyes clearly says otherwise)

He'll even grab some old weapons that Mafuyu didn't use anymore, adjust them to suit your ability and size before giving them to you.

Despite his laidback attitude, he enjoys teasing you and being playful to see your cute reactions. He loves seeing you riled up because of him.

“And this cloth–” Natsuki started explaining as he pulled out a red fabric with clock patterns on it, because he promised you to give you a tour of his lab. “If it covers something underneath it, it could manipulate its time to backwards.”[1]

“Whoa!” You looked at him in awe and your hand carefully touched the fabric. “Is that really true?”

“No.”

“...”

You stare at him with your brows furrowed, looking unamused at his little joke. Natsuki's lips twitched a little, he's fighting back a playful smirk from forming on his face to kept his stoic expression.

“What? You actually believed something like that exists?”

No one knew that you had a boyfriend, and no one bothered to ask. Natsuki spend most of his time in his little corner in the lab, he even took naps there. People barely see you two together outside of it. But when they do, they assumed you two are just very good friends.

“I got your letter… You said you wanted to meet me on the rooftop. What is it that you wanted to say?” You asked your nervous classmate, ignoring your other classmates who were obviously hiding and eavesdropping to your conversation.

“Yes, I…” Your classmate took a deep breath before they looked at you with more determination. “[y/n], we always talk and help each other whenever we're in the same classes. I always admired you from the moment I laid my eyes on you, and that admiration grew into… Love. I'm in love with you, [y/n]. Will you go out with me?”

You blinked at them, and gave them a smile out of pity. “You have been a wonderful friend to me. But I'm sorry, I can't accept your confession. I… I already have a boyfriend.”

Loud gasps could be heard from behind you, but you still ignored them. Your classmate looked at you with their jaw hung open in disbelief. “W-what? With who? For how long!?”

Your face brightened, as if just thinking about him is enough to make your whole day. “It's Natsuki from the weapon department! I mentioned him to you before. Do you remember him?”

After the scene, the words spread throughout the school quickly. You never told him about the event because you thought he doesn't need to know, but Natsuki eventually found out from catching people talking and whispering about it whenever he walked past them. None of the things he heard were good things about him and his relationship with you.

He tried to not let it get to him and play it off. Why should he care about other people's opinions? It's his relationship. Only yours are important. But his insecurity and fear would caught him in the end. Maybe they're right. The other person could protect you better than him. You better off with someone like them instead of him.

You are the first person he ever dated, so he wouldn't know how to confront these feelings. He thought he would inconvenience you, which means he would try to hide them from you. But his jealousy and insecurity would slowly eat him whole from the inside, begging to be vomited out. However, he would still do his best to swallow them back.

He would be less playful and not tease you as much as before. In fact, it would be rare. He'll be distant from you. Natsuki would work himself harder with his weapons and refuse to give himself a break time so he didn't have to think of you and that person who confessed to you on the other day.

You have to confront him yourself and coax him to open up about what was bothering him. He would feel a little more at ease when you hold his hand and rub your thumb on the back of his palm in reassurance, or hug him from behind when he's working. If you pay attention more closely, you could catch him mumbling about the things that troubled him, as if he really wanted to tell you about it but still doubting if it's the right thing to do.

You have to remind him that you still love him for the way he is and be there for him to cheer him up. He would still dwell on the matters that triggered his jealousy and insecurity for the rest of the day, but he would feel better at handling it this time with your words and company.

“What was that? Did you say something?”

He stopped welding on whatever he's worked on and lifted up his shield mask. “The person that you talked with at the rooftop last week... They're one of the top assassins in your department. No one can compete with them and they won awards three times in a row last year. With your skills, you two can sync up well together,” he grabbed a small towel to wipe the sweat off his face. He didn't look at you as he spoke. Instead, he put all his concentration onto his work in front of him. “I saw how they took out their opponents a couple times before. They were reckless. They're too focused on their targets that they didn't pay enough attention to themself. There were times where they almost didn't notice their opponents creeping up behind them, and they just grabbed whatever they could reach and swung it as their weapon without much thought.”

He placed a small object into your hands. It was one of the weapons that was made for you by him but hadn't been used for months. It was upgraded to be more advanced and fancier. He turned around and moved on to his next project, ignoring the confused look you gave him. “Without a proper weapon, they won't be surviving long anymore, even with a good partner who works beside them. That's why assassins need proper weapon makers who understand what's more suitable for them.”

You finally understood what's going on.

You chewed your inner cheek to hold back from giggling. He's totally jealous. While you felt bad that he was feeling down because of you, you couldn't help but think that this behavior of his is kind of cute.

“Yeah, you're right about that,” you put the weapon on the table beside you to wrap your arms around your boyfriend's torso from behind. You could feel him tensed up slightly from the contact. “I'm super lucky that I'm dating the Ace Weapon Maker of JCC, who also happens to be very caring and attentive to me unlike anyone else I ever met. Otherwise, I would already be dead in the ditch by now with nobody to love me. Thanks for everything, Natsu.”

His hands stopped tinkering with the prototype he was working on. He put down the object and remained unmoving for a while, thinking back of the comforting words you said to him. Then you felt his hand on top of yours and squeezed it gently, making you smile. It was his way of showing his gratitude to you.

He peered over his shoulder to look at you and said, “I'm planning to retire soon and open up a crepe shop. Want to be the first person to taste my crepes?”

“Oh, hell yes.”

[1] It's a reference to one of Doraemon's future gadgets, the Time Cloth.

[fixaidea]

So here's the thing: I don't usually engage with or care about top/bottom discourse EXCEPT when I think it's funny, sooo...

Let's do some Science and examine Pingxie in a Very Serious Manner.

To do this, first let's take a look at some data gathered from all the danmei novels and shows I know (relevant for calibration you know, since they have actual canon top/bottom dynamics.)

SVSSS

Shen Qingqiu - Since his cause of death wasn't starvation we can assume - well, at least hope - that he can make instant noodles, if nothing else, but he will absolutely avoid having to cook if he can help it.

Luo Binghe - As the Protagonist he of course has to be The Bestest at everything (...except sex, apparently) and it's mentioned that both Bingge and Bingmei use their culinary skills to woo the people they want to sleep with. He's also the top, even though everyone involved would be better off if he wasn't.

MDZS

Lan Wangji - Becomes a pretty decent cook, as per the extras. Prefers to top.

Wei Wuxian - It's not like he's incompetent, he doesn't burn or undercook the food, it's just that his taste is so extreme that his dishes are basically inedible to anyone else.

TGCF

Hua Cheng - No special talent for cooking, but at least he's not actively dangerous. There's no on-page sex scene in the novel, but it's made obvious that he tops.

Xie Lian - Biohazard. Weapons-grade culinary anti-talent. Gastronomy's answer to Vogon poetry.

Golden Stage

Ulike in most of the other novels on the list, food doesn't really have much symbolic meaning and not much is said about either Fu Shen's or Yan Xiaohan's cooking skills, exept for a brief mention of Fu Shen pickling eggs to pass the time. This is a rare couple that canonically switches.

Guardian

Zhao Yunlan - This man considers instant noodles cooked with coffee an okay way to surprise a boyfriend. He really wouldn't mind topping, which he keeps lamenting throughout the book, but he's paired with Shen Wei who might just have the strongest set preference out of everyone on this list.

Shen Wei - Likes to dote on Zhao Yunlan by cooking for him and is genuinely very good at it.

Word of Honor (mind, I have only watched the show here)

Zhou Zishou - Can keep himself alive, but left to his own devices would probably make due with charred-and-yet-undercooked fish or something.

Wen Kexing - A competent cook. While obviously not detailed in the drama I looked it up (or asked someone, I can't remember) and he's the top here.

Erha

Chu Wanning - Perfected exactly one (1) dish, is rather... unfortunate otherwise. You could not pay this man to top.

Mo Ran - Excellent cook. Actually worked in a kitchen at one point in his life, giving and receiving food is basically his main love-language.

Now that we have examined these canon couples and have drawn all the relevant conclusions, let's apply what we learned to our non-danmei, might-as-well-be-canon-but-isn't ship.

Wu Xie - Can cook just fine both in the novel and the drama-verse even if it doesn't come up too often. In the first season he cooks up a pretty decent feast for his friends and in the Yucun books he helps come up with the dishes they would serve in their restaurant.

Zhang Qiling - The entire Thing of this poor sod as a character is that he knows how to survive but not how to live. Taking the time to prepare nice meals or cook anything beyond basic sustenance just... doesn't fit that picture.

So.

I rest my case.

[itonashi]

STOP ASKING ME.

pairing: ego jinpachi x lil sister!reader

warning: cursing, kys jokes, other chars mentioned ofc, ego being ego

notes: this is just a fic with no plot in mind 😭 for a req in wattpad!! but posting it here first bc in comfortable with tumblr than wattpad. literally just random talking idk 😞

why is anri teieri fuming and complaining to you about you older brother? well you certainly understand her aggressiveness towards him. ego jinpachi is definitely not the person you would go to for advices.

"that guy, he put a bunch of mayonnaise on the dish i made for him to eat healthy! who does he think he is? i just wanted him to eat healthy for once instead of him eating those bundle of instant noodle! the nerve of this guy."

"see? this is why you should never care about my brother. he can die for all i care."

"uhh.. is this really the two of you relationship?"

"huh? no."

anri is glad that you are here helping the blue lock program even though you said that you wanted to do it so you could sponsor one of the players here. atleast she won't be lonely most of the time especially when dealing with ego obnoxious behavior. you had been a great help on the program.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"you've become rude."

"huh. i think you should start looking at a mirror, bowl-cut."

your relationship with ego is not that strained (in your perspective) but this is a chances for you to become closer with him in this blue lock program. ego had always been absent in your life because of his stupid career before the blue lock happened.

while inspecting the other players match, you could heard him slurping his noodles up like he hasn't eaten for days. "stop making noises while eating." you voiced your complain.

"it's not even bothering you to inspect the players."

"it does."

"who is the player you're going to sponsor?"

ego didn't bother to change the way he is eating and ask you the question you have been waiting for him to ask. anri is in the room too so she stop the thing she was doing so she could hear your answer. pondering for a moment on who you want to sponsor.

"hmm... maybe chigiri hyoma?"

"are you doing this because of his beauty or his talent."

feeling exposed, you just hum at the words ego just said but there was another reason. if chigiri hyoma is injured again, the sponsor money will be going towards his treatment but you did stated to ego that you will not be choosing only one player to sponsor but three of them. chigiri hyoma was one of them.

"[name], how do you think miracles work?"

"don't ask me about this shit. i don't care about it."

"then what do you care about? fate?"

"the topic of this discussion is not my thing. stop asking me about it, jin. we don't know what's our fate in this world."

"are you sure about it?"

you ignored his last question, you didn't want to answer his stupid question about fate and miracles. if this is how he want to bond over for siblings then you don't want to be in it. anri feels the tension in the room after the conversation and got chills over it. you said that you two relationship isn't strained but why does anri doesn't feel it?

even if anri ask you about it, you will probably talk in riddles about you and ego's sibling relationship. you will never give straight answer.

"clean the room, asshole! don't make anri the only one doing the work." you retort at your older brother laziness of cleaning the room. just because the contract say he would only be involved in soccer's issues doesn't mean he can dangle around his legs and eat instant noodle and not clean his room!

does this brother of yours even cared about maintenance? he should just live with cockroaches at this point.

"the contract only says i have help on soccer."

"kill yourself."

of course, ego isn't in the slightest bothered by your aggressiveness towards him and the kill yourself jokes you just make. it was a daily thing to him. you were cursing under your breath while picking up his dirty ass clothes. how is ego jinpachi even related to you?

"for once, eat something healthy and don't even think about putting an exaggerating amount of mayonnaise on it. anri goes out her way to even cook you real food!"

seeing ego always eat instant noodles just worries you about his health. you know what happened to him in the past and you don't want him to risk his health. you don't want to be alone again. one way or another is hiding his packets of instant noodle to stop him from eating some.

"where's the other?"

you were checking the players files and improvement after the second selection when ego ask you where did the other packet of instant noodles go. he knew it was you who hid it. you simply just looked at him with a bored expression and shrugged your shoulders — going back to doing your work.

the door of the room open and the aroma of food comes. "i cooked some stir fried vegetables!" anri beamed holding two plates of stir fried vegetables.

"don't even think of looking for the mayonnaise bottle, jin."

"tch."

to think you would actually force ego to eat anri's cooking. anri is happy that ego was eating real food for once. atleast now her eyes won't hurt from seeing him eating instant noodles now. anri hope that now ego would only eat instant noodle once in awhile. you could basically feel the happy energy anri was letting out.

chigiri hyoma, nagi seishiro and lastly isagi yoichi. this were the players you are sponsoring for.

"you actually make a great choice for once but it isn't gonna last long."

"ok."

"the fuck was that dry response for, [name]."

you roll your eyes at ego's words. so what if you pick the glass prodigy, the lazy genius and the heart of blue lock.

notes: a small fic for once! i have more draft pls patiently wait. im posting this one out so that i have some ideas out. remember do not eat instant noodle to much! eat healthy for once.

[alpha-window-9-creations]

A bunch of cookie run ocs I drew for art fight! I don't know much about the series but the style is super cute and it was an perfect opportunity to draw more.

The first one I didn't submit because I thought the event was going until tonight and I just finished. It's lower quality than the others because I was in a rush so I did it on my phone. I'll try to tag everyone I can under the cut... with maybe some thoughts about each.

Pickle: art fight user Picklesplitz (low-key got me to make the post I couldn't submit)

Strawberry Latte Cookie: @mochiiskii (fell more in love the more I drew her)

Watermelon Soda Cookie: @onewayticketttohell (super good design, I don't feel like I did it justice)

Instant Noodle Cookie: Twitter user G70R8U5 (one of my favorites, she's so funny)

Blueberry Sugarcone Cookie and Choco Moth Cookie: @preciouspeppermintts (precious babies!)

Black urchin Cookie: @the-tang-man (had a lot of fun with this one!)

Golden Creme Cookie: art fight user lunarylunz (I liked them more than I thought I would)

Raspberry Fool Cookie: @artsytheghost (the full design is very funny, check it out if you're interested)

Sea Bunny Cookie: @audtheodd (the reason I made the dance piece actually, they said they wanted their ocs to dance)

Sweet Chocobanana Cookie: deviantart user Naetsuku (I love this little clown idiot)

Blueberry Cake Cookie: Twitter user Scrungie1 (no notes, good oc)

Honey Tequila Cookie: Twitter user blemches (I didn't want to at first because I do not understand the design, but I kept coming back to it so I tried my best)

Cinnamon Roll Cookie: Instagram user jetzbeshort (there's a galaxy pattern on the inside of his coat that I didn't show much of on purpose because I didn't want to figure it out lol)

Honey Graham Cookie, Sweet Pea Cookie, Golden Roe Cookie, and Sea Salt Lemonade Cookie: @scarabeeart (only now realizing how many of their ocs I drew. They have a talent for making very good designs!)

Iced Vovo Cookie: @mycelium-moth (they're so depressed I love them)

Coffee Sugar Crystal Cookie: @lilly-jevil (it was very hard to make those gems on his shirt not look like nipples)

Sea Anemochi Cookie and Spring Torte Cookie: Twitter user mermaidparfait (such cute designs, Spring was the first one I drew but I got so much better later on, I kinda feel bad)

Choco Heartlock Cookie: @hpurplicious (very relatable to me lol, are u psychic?)

Dreamsicle Cookie and Faded Butter Cookie: art fight user nullibranch (interesting that they have such different designs, simple vs complicated, shows a broad range)

Yuzu Lemon Ramune and Mold Spore: @vnillatree (two of the absolutely cutest designs for completely different reasons)

[zuffer-weird-girl]

I just notice most of my writings I make a reader that can cook due to self insert... so now I'm doing the opposite-

Hcs that you can't cook and what would they do...

Can't cook as well so you both are screwed. The end.

Jokes apart, man really can't cook for the life of his.

He does know how to use a oven, he does know some recipes... but does he actually cook? Naim.

Is terrible even.

I don't even doubt he can burn water.

Poor bird tried so many times to make something for you or him but it's just never ends up right so he just gives up with a pouty face and goes to munch on some KFC :(

Much like you do.

So basically how the heck you guys live? Well, Keigo has a shit ton of money, so you guys can go out plenty of times or order a take out.

But alas, neither of you always want bought food because neither of you are made of money.

So Hawks being Hawks gladly will annoy ask Endeavour-san or Tokayami to for some leftovers.

Yes. Yes he asks food from a freacking teenager.

Enji truly is pissed at both of you.

If you get insecure over this he just smiles at you and assures is no big deal.

"We can always have our favorite foods delivered dove. Besides, cooking is not my talent either, so don't worry, you are great at everything you do anyway."

Man is so cute, he supports you muchhhh

But if you want to learn he will go all out to be your personal cheerleader.

Might tear up at the first dish you make him.

Screw if it's bad or not he is swallowing the whole thing down.

He won't regret it. Even if it ends up having to spend all the afternoon on the toilet.

Pls call a ambulance if he starts to throw up-

Not so screwed.

Man can do the bare minimum

Like... instant noodles and hamburger steak.

He is not much on complicated dishes, he fears he might screw up and didn't even tried once. For both disinterest and fear of messing up.

If he catches you putting yourself down due to this, he will put aside everything he was doing, grab your hand, yank you to the bedroom and assure you are great... and also you are so fucked... literally.

Yeah, do what you can with this information.

Man couldn't care less iff you are the masterchef or burn pasta, he will love you either way.

Besides, you are luck if you don't cook for him honestly.

Man is such a picky eater that if he ends up with someone that does cook he will give them headaches.

A nightmare to decide what to eat.

Despite hating fish, he will absolutely go out of his way to make a Italian pasta with tuna if you do like fish.

Aaaww <3 look at the loveable sociopath being a good boyfriend

Kurogiri.

That's it. That's the hc.

Kurogiri is your life saver. You're in good hands, man is good at making food.

HOUSE HUSBAND MATERIAL FIGHT ME

Hari doesn't care honestly.

He can cook for both of you.

Sweet dependable man ❤

Dude knows how to make a full course meal out of only 4 ingredients.

Put him on masterchef

He reassures you all day that is fine if you can't or don't want to cook since for him is not all that big of a deal.

The only thing he wants you to do, if you want to help him, is that you pass the ingredients or just crack the eggs

Cue him laughing like a hyena when you accidentally drop the eggshell on the bowl but not the actual egg.

Listen, even if you end uo ruining a recipe this dude will laugh. Not at you, but at the situation.

Because to him, is a fond memory he can look back at on his worst days to make him smile.

SOMEONE MARRY THIS MAN HE DESERVES IT-

Oh he is such a bitch about this-

Man knows how to cook some basics dishes and rarely a more sophisticated one but... he simply doesn't want to.

Is too 💫messy💫 for the pretty prince 🤴

He won't actually order or obligate you to cook for him since he is better than that I hope but do expect some sarcastic remarks that even Mimic could do an omelet.

I want to slap him for this shit-

The moment you bring up his disdain for kitchen messes and dirty dishes he will shut up pretty quickly with a scoff.

Arrogant lil sh-

So, either his subordinates make the dishes for you guys(i recommend chrono again), or he takes you out on a restaurant that he trusts.

Let's forget he is bankrupt for just a sec, pops will end up crying about the bill of the restaurant later

But there is this RARE situations where he will do something to impress you.

Man made Unagi for you. Show some respect.

And to your surprise it actually taste good!

Don't tell him though. We are sick of his God like syndrome.

And also, don't expect too much of this... as I said, is really rare that he would do something like that. He doesn't like to get his hands DIRTY

[nightmare-castle]

Just wanted to share some of the amazing item art our artists have done over the last year. The game has 100+ items so far, which will likely increase with subsequent chapter releases and further development.

First up: items by @amaryllis-ca-glisse

Crab Apple

Alignment: Integrity

This shiny blue fruit looks like a crab and tastes like one, too.  Much better cooked than raw.  Restores 5% HP.

Sea Tea

Alignment: Patience

Made from magical glowing marsh water. Slightly salty in taste.  Restores 10% HP.

Raven Quill

A fancy writing quill made of a raven’s pin feather and a gold nib. Could make a fine gift for someone who writes often.

And now some items by @indydrawsstuff

Hot Cat

Alignment: Neutral

Made from a plant called water sausages. Tastes like a mix between hot dogs and mushrooms, looks like a longcat.  Restores 20% HP.

Firewhiskey

Alignment: Bravery + Determination

High-proof distilled alcohol infused with fire magic. Burns going down. Restores -5% HP.

Cup Lifenoodles

Alignment: Justice + Perseverance

Cup Noodles from another world.  The rarest flavor of instant ramen in a cup, highly sought after by instant noodle connoisseurs.  Restores 85% HP and cures any status effect.

Just a small sample for now - don't wanna give too much away ~✨but I am constantly impressed how talented our team is in so many ways.

[cheeeerie]

I hate summer I wanna go back to school SO BAD.

Ninjago College AU.

COLE!

He’s a Performing Arts Major with a Geology Minor :)

He doesn’t have many classes with the others, but he has had a couple classes with Nya since their minors have some overlap

Roommates with Jay, suitemates with Zane and Kai

Constantly getting in trouble for breaking quiet hours because he keeps listening to abba at 3 am

His dad is a dance professor. Cole tries desperately not to take any of his dad’s classes but he had to for his major eventually, he spends the entire time pretending he doesn’t know his dad while Lou is like “EVERYONE LOOK HOW TALENTED MY SON IS!”

Gets the most out of his meal plan. He’s in the dining hall three times a day.

Part time barista. Pretty good one too, but he keeps sleeping late and getting fired

KAI!

Sports Management Major with a Primary Education Minor

He has to take a lot of business classes for his major and he HATES all his business major classmates

He has classes with Lloyd, since his minor is Lloyd’s major

Roommates with Zane, suitemates with Cole and Jay

Every time there’s a health and safety check he sends Zane to the door to stall while he hurriedly hides all his lighters and candles. Never gets in trouble with the RA because Zane is great at stalling.

Takes FOREVER in the shower, Jay is always pounding on the door cause he has to pee. Kai repays him by banging on the walls when Jay and Cole are being way to loud in the middle of the night.

He coaches kids karate part time, plus whatever odd jobs he can find, since he’s paying for all of this himself

JAY!

Electrical Engineering Major, Digital Arts Minor

Has classes with Nya cause they’re both in engineering, plus he shares a minor with Pixal so they have a ton of class overlap.

Roommates with Cole, Suitemates with Zane and Kai

Cole and Jay have their beds bunked so Cole has room to dance and Jay has room for his gaming set-up. Jay streams, and very often Cole will just be practicing choreography in the background.

He doesn’t have a job, but he still has all the best stuff cause his parents send frequent care packages. They make sure to include goodies for everyone else too, though :)

Gets in trouble for having contraband CONSTANTLY. Do you know how many times this man has almost burned the entire dorm hall down in an electrical fire??? At least four times. Plus he’s always loudly playing video games during quiet hours.

lives on instant noodles, which he makes in his hot pot, which he is definitely not supposed to have

ZANE!

Computer Science Major with a Philosophy Minor

Has classes with Jay and Pixal because of the computer stuff, plus some classes with Lloyd because their minors have a lot of overlap.

Roommates with Kai, suitemates with Jay and Cole.

He has a lot of cooking supplies that he isn’t supposed to have, but he’s very careful so he doesn’t get caught.

Makes THE BEST dorm food, has the gang over for dinner pretty frequently.

Makes dean’s list basically every semester, man writes a hell of a paper

Sleeps like a rock, so Jay and Cole being loud all the time doesn’t bother him. He doesn’t even notice Kai banging on the walls and telling them to shut up.

He and Kai don’t bunk their beds, they each have their own side of the room. Zane’s side is very organized and well decorated. Kai’s side is a trash fire. Zane doesn’t touch the trash fire he just gently nudges is to Kai’s side of the room.

Whenever Kai stays the night somewhere else Zane washes Kai’s sheets. That is the only time Kai’s sheets get washed.

He has an on-campus job in the library

LLOYD!

Secondary Education Major with a double Minor in Psychology (because he’s traumatized) and theology (because his grandpa is god)

He’s actually still 17, he graduated early because he hated high school and wanted to be with his friends who are all older than him

He lives off campus in an apartment with his dad and step-dad, but the commute isn’t far and he stays the night at Kai and Zane’s dorm a lot

He has a lot of classes with Kai since they’re both in education, plus his theology minor and Zane’s philosophy minor have a lot of overlap so they have classes together too

He’s such an over achiever, he’s in the library studying day and night

He wanted to get a job but his dad said no because he already works too hard in school

He’s group baby. He once convinced the gang to take him with them to a party but they all just ended up baby sitting him the whole time. They ran a full investigation on every drink he was handed and stood behind him like body guards every time someone talked to him

NYA!

Mechanical Engineering Major, Coastal Environmental Science Minor

Roommates with Pixal, I haven’t decided if they have suitemates/who it would be

Her and Pixal’s room is decorated PERFECTLY.

She has a lot of classes with Jay, plus some with Cole because of their minors are both natural sciences. Her and Pixal have a ton of classes together because they have the same major

She has a pet fish in her dorm named Nyad :) Kai thinks that name is stupid

“You can’t name your pet after yourself” “I didn’t name her after myself I named her after Nyad” “who you’re named after” “…listen here you little shit—”

The boys stay the night at Nya and Pixal’s all the time, sometimes even all five of them at once, but they never get in trouble. Nya thinks it’s because she’s so sneaky.

It’s actually because Pixal writes most of the RA’s papers.

Nya is on the school’s swim team, but she hates it. She’d quit if she could, but she’s there on a swim scholarship and she can’t afford to pay for school herself.

PIXAL!

Mechanical Engineering Major, Digital Arts Minor

Nya’s roommate

She’s constantly making things to make everyone’s lives just a little easier

She’s like the princess of the tech/engineering department, every professor wants her as a TA soooo bad, both because of who her father is AND because she’s insanely talented

She’s surprisingly artistic. Well, it’s a surprise to her, no one else is surprised, they just expect her to be good at everything at this point. Makes some very pretty things in the design classes she has to take for digital arts

She doesn’t need the money (her father is seriously filthy rich) but she works at a mechanic shop part time for fun. Whatever money she makes she uses to buy things for the rest of the gang

President’s list

Fuck I accidentally hit the poll button and it won’t let me get rid of it ummm uhhh

[silly-inky]

Some Mario and Luigi headcanons as I’m bored and have a bit of free time on my hands

So as we all know Mario and Luigi are Italian, or well Italian-American as they grew up (and probably were born in) Brooklyn. So growing up in an Italian household would have certainly helped shape their personality’s, and how they react to certain situations. Also I just wanna add real quick, I wish they had more thicker accents in the movie, but i get why they didn’t with the voice actors they had

For instance they could probably come up with some very creative colourful insults without actually having to swear, because god forbid they swore around their mother, unless they we were wanting to get hit with the spoon they kept the swearing for occasions outside of the house

I don’t think either of them (even Luigi) would be out of by yelling, so if someone who was usually very intimidating started to shout at them, I think they would actually calm down a bit, that is if they were even scared of them at all. So I’m just imagining Bowser yelling at Luigi and Luigi being like:

“why are you raising you voice, I can hear you perfectly fine. The only person that scares me when they raise their voice is my mama and Nona, so sit down and calm yourself.”

They raise their voices when they want to be heard, growing up in a loud household that’s something that becomes a habit, and they are very loud when they want to be.

I imagine when they want to curse they do it in Italian. I imagine the Koopalings or even the princess picking up one of these swears, not knowing what it actually means, and just repeating it to one or both of the brothers, Luigi would probably stand in shock before telling them not to use the word, while Mario ends up laughing his ass off, wheezing on the ground while Luigi is trying to explain why it’s a bad word while frantically looking around, scared that his mother has somehow heard them and magically teleported to them, spoon in hand.

I think that if Luigi gets to know a person he acts a bit more like Mario, more confident and slightly smug, if he had more confidence facing off villains he would be quippy with his comebacks

I think that although Luigi is awkward he isn’t to bad in the social area, if he needs to speak out and make a point he will, but you best believe he’s going to think it all through before hand, and when he speaks out, he has every answer prepared with a complimentary call out/ insult if needed

Mario would use his insult talent for evil, in which I mean he’s going to use it against DK, Wario, Waluigi, Bowser, maybe even Daisy if he and when he wants too. And I can totally see him teaching either the little toad children or the koopalings how to come up with brilliant insults on the spot, while also teaching them respect and manners

“remember kids, be kind to strangers unless they are rude, treat people how they treat you, and remember, respect is earned not given. Now, what do we call someone that is disrespectful and rude to a cashier who is only doing their job?“

Their mother always made sure their friends were fed whenever they came round, so Mario and Luigi continue that, Mario almost pops a vein when he learns that the princess hasn’t had a proper meal in 2 days due to focusing on her duties instead of her own health. He sits her down with a nice meal and doesn’t leave her until she’s at least taken a few bites, he can’t and doesn’t want to force her to eat of course, but he won’t feel right with himself until he sees her have at least 5 goods sips from some soup or something. Her favourite is eggplant Parmesan

Luigi if staying over at E.Gadd’s would prepare the professor some food, which is a nice change from the instant noodle he practically lives off of, he will even make food for the ghosts, he knows they technically need to eat, but he knows some of them still enjoy eating, he has his own ghostly puppers to prove that fact, so whenever he’s around he likes to make a big pot of soup for the ghosts that enjoy his cooking.

I’ve brought this up in a previous post, but Mario and Luigi’s grandfather (the one featured in the movie) is an ex-boxer. So the boys probably grew up taking boxing lessons from him and his old boxing ring. That is probably why they were so good at fighting from the start. I imagine they give lessons on how to box, Daisy and maybe Roy taking a particular liking to it. But before their first lesson they said to the class:

“Our grand pop’s always said to never use this outside of the ring unless needed. He would say if he ever found out we were using it to bully a kid, he would ring our necks. You use it if your defending yourself or others. Or to put it more bluntly ‘I taught you it’s never okay to out your hands on someone, but it’s fine to hit back’ and he probably also would have said

“They hit you first, you make sure they never land another hit on you again”.

Whenever the boys are visiting their family, or the family is coming to visit them, they try their best to be as vague as possible about their fights, they keep on their gloves the entire time so that their family doesn’t see the battle scars. Their father has spotted them a couple of times, he try’s not to make a big scene because he knows his wife will make an even bigger one if she saw them, so he just slaps them behind the heads and tells them to be more careful and not be idiots while saving the kingdom/ world. Their niece would come over and visit on her school holidays, so she would inevitably see the scars, so she’s been told to keep quiet about them so as to not give her great aunt (the boys bother) a heart attack.

When their niece does come to visit she enjoys seeing the princess, one time she was lucky enough to take part in go karting when the event lined up with her stay. She likes to hang out with Toad, and I think she would grow to become friends with the Koopalings when they are around at Peaches castle, I have a feeling she would be the closest with Ludwig

Mario and Luigi get into sibling squabbles all the time, they love each over dearly but you know they insult each over when alone:

Mario: Luigi you’re looking extra ugly today. What did you do? Get a shower? Your skin looks like it’s melting off like the wicked witch of the west

Luigi: Look who’s talking you red bowling ball, you look like a love child between Danny DaVitto and Golem from lord of the rings, who’s very existence makes god weep knowing he has to look at your face when you die

Mario: We have almost the same face you you dried out celery stick

Luigi: You’re the one that started it ‘jump man’

Anyways I hope you liked this rambling of ideas

[themuffin2649]

Cooking Competition!

——————

Jack: “Welcome to Tonight’s Cooking Competiton show! I’m your host Sunny Day Jack back again as we test the talents of these three lovely folks here!”

Audience: cheers

Jack: “Before we introduce the audience to our contestants, we have our lovely judge here today. The one, the only, VINCENT!!”

Audience: cheers again

Vincent’s #1 Fan: “I LOVE YOU VINCENT!!! WOOOOO!!! I WANNA KIDNAP YOU AND MAKE YOU LIVE IN MY BASEMENT FOREVER!!”

The Jack and audience goes dead silent as they all stare at Vincent’s #1 fan unblinking. Suddenly, the fan is thrown out of the building.

Jack: “Umm… Now with that out of the way, Vincent, why have you decided to be our judge tonight?”

Vincent: “It’s because I want to give these judges a real challenge. I grew up eating the best foods money can buy, which means I’m a very hard man to please when it comes to cuisine.”

Jack: “Interesting! Anyways, onto our contestants. On our left we have Ray! In the middle we have Newt, and on our right we have John Doe!”

Audience: Cheers as the contestant waves

Crew member: whispers something into Jack’s ear

Jack: “Oh! Apparently the rules state that all contestants under 18 must pick a buddy 18 years or older to assist him. Newt! Pick somebody from the audience to be your companion!”

Newt: “That’s easy! My brother has always been the best cook I’ve known. I choose him!”

MC: OH F*CK! I CAN’T COOK!!

Jack: “Welcome to the competition buddy! Don’t worry about being underprepared, we already provided you with a cookbook. You all have and hour and a half to cook!”

MC: “Whew, all we need to do is follow the cookbook. How hard can this be little bro?!”

———

7 Broken dishes, 8 tears shed, 5 toenails clipped, 1 rat killed, and nearly a kitchen fire later…

———

MC: “Heeey Vincent… so.. uh.. We got you food I think.” He says, presenting a (somehow) red burnt Pumpkin Pie with toenail clippings and a rat’s tail sticking out of it. Newt was still in the kitchen crying.

After Vincent’s mind was blown from the exquisite Soup that Ray cooked, he looked at the other two dishes and was whiplashed with pure disgust.

Vincent: “Honey, as much as I love you, I’m going to have to give this award to Ray. I prefer living.” He said, pushing the “pie” away.

Ray: He happily takes the cooking competition trophy from Vincent.

Doe: “And my dish?”

Vincent: “You were disqualified the moment I saw that flesh stuff in your hands!”

————————

Alternative Scene: Newt picks Leon as his cooking companion

Newt: “Here you go Vincent… it’s uhh totally something Leon and I cooked. 100% original and Not bought from a store hehe.” He says, as he presents instant ramen noodles to him.

Vincent: “It’s not ideal, but at least it isn’t a pile of rotten flesh. I’m surprised the Neanderthal can get something on the table.” He says as he tries the ramen.

…

Vincent: dies

Leon: “It was so good that he died! We did it Newt, we WON!!!”

Newt: he doesn’t say anything, but the random bottle of poison he saw earlier was starting to make a lot more sense now

[raikanata]

Banquet Beneath the Clouded Moon - Chapter 3

English translation by @raikanata. Not proofread.

Characters: Rinne, Niki, Kanata

[♪]

Season: Autumn

A while later

Rinne: I'm hoome!

Rinne: Blamery-chan, how'd ya like your walk?

Rinne: You're wagging your tail? Good girl...♪

Rinne: The walking must've made her hungry, she's really goin' at it.

Rinne: Seeing Blamery-chan eat so eagerly got me hungry too. Should I get something from the kitchen...?

Rinne: A few minutes later. At Starmony Hall’s Kitchen

Rinne: I don't want a hassle, so I'll just get cup noodles.

Rinne: I'm grateful I can just freely eat from the instant noodles stock. I'm not starving, thanks to that.

Rinne: ...Hmm? There's an appetizing smell coming from the kitchen.

Niki: ♪~♪~♪

Rinne: Hey, great timing!

Niki: Uwah, Rinne-kun!?

Rinne: I missed you, Niki ☆

Niki: Uu, I didn't miss you at all, though....

Rinne: You're actin' like you crossed paths with a jinx. 1

Niki: Well, aren't you one? Most of the troubles I get mixed up in are thanks to Rinne-kun.

Niki: Especially if you're saying something like "great timing", I gotta put my guard up.

Rinne: Gyahaha, you praise me too much♪

Niki: I was not praising you at all!

Niki: I'm busy making fried rice for lunch, so please go somewhere else!

Rinne: C'mon, don't be so heartless. While you're at it, I just want you to make some food for lil old me as well.

Niki: Really〜?

Rinne: Oioi, when have I ever lied to you before?

Niki: Many times! So many that I lost count!

Niki: But, well. A chef can't ignore someone who comes to them hungry, so I guess I can cook for you.

Rinne: Ah, that's what makes ya Niki ☆

Niki: Well, I'm in a good mood.

Rinne: Lend me some money, while you're at it ♪

Niki: No way!

Niki: I'm not "at" something like that right now, also!?

Niki: And did you lose all of your money gambling again? You got a talent for never learning your lesson, you know!

Rinne: Don't say that. Isn't what's Niki's also mine?

Niki: It's not! My money is only mine!

Kanata: ...oh. "chief"-san and niki. isn't it quite lively here?

Rinne: Kanacchi, are you back from work?

Kanata: yes. the job ended up being much shorter than "planned".

Kanata: there is nothing for me "to do", so i am struggling a bit. what would you do in this situation, "chief"-san?

Rinne: If it were me-

Niki: Shinkai-kun, don't ask that to Rinne-kun. His answers won't help anyone, and he'll just be a bad influence if anything.

Rinne: Don't say bad things like that to other people, and stop spreading rumors.

Niki: Though it's not a rumor but a fact...

Niki: Then go ahead and tell us. What would Rinne-kun do in this situation?

Rinne: Well, if I gotta kill time, I'd go gambling ☆

Niki: You're really no good...!

Kanata: gambling... that's right, the other day, you called me "the god of gambling" and started worshiping me on your own accord , right?

Niki: Now that you mention it, that did happen~

Rinne: I'm sorry for bein' bad that time ♪

Niki: Saying it like that, you don't feel any remorse, do you?

Kanata: you don't feel any "remorse"? mm...

Kanata: ...

Kanata: ..."chief"-san. as an "apology" for calling me "the god of gambling", please take me somewhere nice ♪

Rinne: Ah, today's-

Niki: Good, right? Rinne-kun doesn't have work today.

Rinne: Oi, Niki.

Niki: Aren't you free anyway? Why not take him out?

Rinne: ...Tch. I got it. I was planning on apologizing some day, ya know.

Rinne: Niki, are you done with the fried rice? My belly's touchin' my back, so please hurry.

Niki: I just finished it now.

Niki: Shinkai-kun, would you like, would you like to eat too?

Kanata:i already ate "outside", so it is alright.

then, i'll go put my stuff in the "room" and be right back.

Kanata: ehehe. let's get along well today, "chief"-san.

Rinne: Mhm. See ya, Kanacchi.

...Where can ya even go when ya don't have any money?

Niki: You can't go gambling, right?

Rinne: Yeah yeah. That goes without sayin'.

Niki, where'd ya go in this situation?

Niki:If it were me? Uum... My favorite restaurant, maybe?

Rinne: Dumbass. I'm sayin' if ya didn't have any money.

Niki: Eh...

What about the mountains? There are wild plants you can pick up to eat for free.

Rinne: Not gonna work. Goin' to the mountains costs the transportation fee.

Niki: You can't even afford the transportation? I feel second hand embarrassment as your friend.

Rinne: Shut up. Speaking of places you can go without money...

Should I try goin' to "Beehive", then?

[☆]

lit. God of Pestilence. the usage of this in Japanese is not only literal but also as "a person who should be avoided, a person who brings bad luck" etc.

previous chapter 💧directory💧 next chapter

[keep-it-krispy]

Hey, just discovered your account and was wondering if you could tell me something about your lmk au's :)

Or is there a hashtag or master post I could use ?

I read something about your au, where the lmk characters are musicians and I thought it looked great!

Howdy and hello there! I'm happy to tell you about my AU.

“Ride or Die” is an alternate universe that takes place in modern times. I'm still deciding on whether or not to make everybody human, buuuut (until a certain point, somewhere around the 2nd or 3rd season) magic isn't super prominent (it still exists, it's just not powerful or noticeable enough for anyone to do crazy stuff with it like in cannon yet)

[Look at this post for a synopsis of the general vibes]

As noted in the aforementioned post, It starts off pretty normally. MK is a college student that lives with his adoptive father, Paul (Pigsy is his nickname), and his husband Tang (Tang is more of an uncle to him, he came along when MK was a lot older). He works part-time at his noodle shop and attends college with his longtime best friend Mei.

Sun Wukong is a world class dancer actor and singer that's about to retire, but wants to keep his legacy going. He hosts a big contest inviting anyone and everyone under the age of 25 to compete against one another in a tournament style talent show using any kind of performance art you can bring to the table.

MK is jazzed about the event, he wants to compete but doesn't actually think he'd win. He invites Mei to compete with him and she, being his ride or die bestie (roll credits), is all for it. She insists on starting a band, as she's been wanting to do so FOREVER, and Mk agrees. They don't really know how to start a band though. Mk remembers that Pigsy used to be crazy into the performance scene, so they ask him about it.

Pigsy explains that a performance can be anything, as long as people can watch it, and you put your soul into it [”Music is life, Life is music. Living is everything you make of it, and music is the same. It can be a guitar solo; but it's also the laugh of a friend when you tell them a joke you wrote, the satisfied sigh after you finish a painting, or the smile on a customer's face after a good bowl of soup.”

“Like that!” Mk shouts, slamming his fists on the counter as the light of an epiphany glimmers in his eyes “Lyrics! We need lyrics like that!”

Mei gasps, sliding up beside her friend with stars in her eyes “Pigsy! Can you write us lyrics!?”

Pigsy sighs, their antics pulling a small smile onto face “No,” their instant disappointment makes him chuckle, he heads over to the landline and starts dialing “But I do know someone who can.”

An hour later, the four of them are down at the harbour. Pigsy leads them down the dock and to a boat house, where he knocks on the door. From it emerges Sandy, a poet beyond his years.]

From there, Tang offers to organize everything, leaving Mk Mei and Sandy to come up with some performances. I picture them going through a lot of ideas, they put together a song, a play, an art show, and even consider doing an improv thing; but none of it really feels right to MK.

Red makes a menace of himself around this time. He meets MK at a music bar (picture a hipster coffee shop/club place with a bunch of different instruments laying around that people could play if they wanted) and finds out he's participating in the contest too, then starts picking on him. MK isn't really paying attention to his jabs, strumming along a guitar left near their booth.

[Mk’s curious strumming continues to draw a litany of sour notes from the instrument, curling Red’s lips into a harsher sneer.

“I mean- how can you expect to win the contest if you can't even play that guitar!?” the redhead is out of his seat now, looking half ready to rip it out of Mk's hands.

Mk smiles, not even pretending to listen as his brow creases with determination. He continues to fiddle with the instrument “Wait…” a couple strums, hey- wait.. that one sounded.. good?? “I think…” a few more. Was he.. ”I got it!” and testament to his words, the notes emitting from the strings finally smooth into something palatable. A warbling riff slides from his fingers, transforming into a silky bass line as he continued.

Red looked at him, jaw dropping to the floor. Twisted from sour notes and amature finger work, a new song was spun into existence before his very eyes. And it was good.]

Red is instantly intimidated by Mk's apparent musical prowess, and challenges him to an Art Fight to “crush his peasant spirit”. Mk struggles at first, trying to emulate other art fights he's seen and sing/dance his way to victory, but he thinks back to pigsy's words:

[The laugh of a friend when you tell them a joke you wrote, the satisfied sigh after you finish a painting, or the smile on a customer's face after a good bowl of soup]

He catches sight of his art bag, rushes for it, and starts throwing paint around. It's a whirlwind of EDM, dancing, and flying neon paint, but Mk manages to win. His inner music(magic) leaving behind a newly (and tastefully) repainted music bar.

Mk leaves a so so butt hurt Red behind to deal with the aftermath, brimming with a new inspiration.

MK gets back to the gang. Tells them that he loves music, but illustration is his real passion. He wants to enter, but he also wants to “be true to his art form”, and he doesn't know how to incorporate it into a stage performance. Mei proposes they do something experimental. I'm thinking something using holograms, motion capture technology, sick ass music, and a TON of paint. like a bunch of AMVs that link up to one another, but happening in real life. MK gets to do his illustration thing, Sandy gets to crush millions with his heartbreaking sonatas, and Mei gets to obliterate the dance floor and sing her heart out.

They win, and Wukong takes them in as his apprentices.

After “A Hero is Born” everything pretty much lines up with Cannon for the main squad and the smaller antagonists; but instead of fighting and monkey magic shenanigans, it's concerts and dance battles and E-Tuber shenanigans.

Things get really different around The Bone Zone (I love writing).

This worlds Lady Bone Demon, Laura Demona, went missing without a trace 9 years ago. Her child, Laudia Demona, going by Malin Meister in the present day, has been investigating her disappearance ever since they were old enough to leave the house unsupervised.

With the help of their platonic life partner and basically minion, Milton, they build an E-Tuber empire big enough to fund their quest. Some strong leads they gained, some time before “A Hero is Born”, trace back to Sun Wukong; who was not only present on the set their mother disappeared from, but famously one of her Bitter Rivals.

The two competed for a lot of shows and positions in their early days, settling into badmouthing each other on screen later on, and only mellowing out a handful of years before The Incident.

Sun Wukong's competition was Malin's chance to get close to him, but “The Monkie Kidz” were simply too good to beat. Malin wouldn't let this deter them, descending into a mad spiral of plotting and scheming. Their progress would only be interrupted by an unusually familiar looking eldritch stranger (The Mayor) dropping in, chasing them and Milton around the city, bullying his way into their homes and lives, and changing the course of their destiny for years to come.

The groups don't really converge until “Revenge of the Spider Queen”, or the “lunar New Year music deathmatch tournament” as we call it here.

Over the course of the first season Malin hatches a plan around the tournament, setting up a series of Rube Goldberg like events that will result in them meeting with Sun Wukong.

In the post I linked above, I confirmed that this would have ended in the downfall of Malin. These events would have pushed them firmly into villainy, and villains are always fated to loose.

The Mayor did not know this. When he told Malin what happened in his world, compared it to the events that have been occuring in theirs, and left them to connect the downfall of his lady to their future, he expected them to turn to him for help.

He made sure to demonstrate his magical and strategic prowess to them at every opportunity, to establish his presence as a sturdy and dangerous weapon to lean on. He felt echos of his Lady's power grow within them each day, to awaken it would be his pleasure. Crushing these mortal versions of their enemies would make a good warmup for his Meister, they would need much training before he dragged them back to his world. A concrete goal would do them nicely.

What he didn't expect was for them to call everything off and lock themselves in their plan closet for a solid week.

Malin, high on a rush of panic and inspiration, decided to spit into the eyes of fate. If this was happening in other universes, if other versions of their mother and products of her legacy were fighting and dying to these same people, if this was a pattern? They would do everything in their power to break it.

A week later they step out of their closet, coming upon the faces of a worried Milton and a confused Mayor, and stating their new approach with a will of iron and a voice of steel:

“We're going to make some new friends.”

And this marks the start of the “How to become a protagonist in 10 easy steps.” Arc

I kind of want to focus on the “Malin tries their best to be normal around new people” aspect of the story right now, so most of the work you see on this blog will probably be from season 2 and onwards.

I've got big plans for the magic in the future. Everything's going to be pretty modern and magic free up to a point, then the meteor will hit and plunge the world into a new age of magic and demons and tasty tasty chaos. I kind of want to link Laura's “death” to the meteor too. line it up with some multiverse shenanigans I wrote out.

I'm thinking about it in four slices.

The first slice is the “Canon compliant Zone”, that's the bit I just described.

The second slice will be “how to become a protagonist in 10 easy steps”, which is what I'm working on right now.

The third slice will be “The meteor fucks everything up, nobody is happy about this.”, which will be easier to write once I establish the first two slices.

And the fourth is “Multiverse bullshit”, which is when the real fun will begin.

[imagineabuttercream]

Joe's Internet Friend (Sugg x Reader)

"Hello, love.", Joe messaged you after a long night of editing.

"You're up late." you replied, grabbing your phone and snuggling into your blanket. He was in London and you were in the states leaving an 8 hour time difference between the two of you.

"Just finished editing a 'More Likely To' video with the lads and I don't really want to post it anymore." Joe messaged back, snuggling into his own bed.

"Why not?" you asked. Late night texts had become a thing between the two of you. You had met Joe online years ago when he was just starting on you-tube and you'd become great friends.

"It just reminded me of how many things I'm not doing right. I'm the least likely to get married. The most likely to get drunk and lost. The most likely to stay single." Joe text you, adding "fml."

"Oh, love. You're not 40. You have all the time in the world to settle down." You replied. "You're a brilliant, sweet, caring, talented, committed, creative soul that will find those things in your own time."

"You always make me feel better." he text back, slowly falling asleep.

"Anytime, sweetheart." you replied. When you didn't get a response you assumed he had finally fallen asleep. "Sweet dreams, sleepy boy."

When Joe woke up the next day, he read back over your messages and decided to post the video.

The two of you had never met in person, but you'd become an almost daily fixture in each others lives. At times, you thought the slight anonymity is what made your friendship work so well. You weren't roommates or siblings or co-workers. You were there to talk to each other when you didn't want to or couldn't go to those in your actual lives. Up until this year you hadn't even exchanged phone numbers, sticking to instant messenger. You did enjoy getting the drunk voicemail messages from Joe, though. You two had even talked on the phone during long train rides or nights you were there to answer his drunk calls.

A few days later, you got off of work to find multiple texts and voicemail messages on your phone from Joe.

Joe - "Sometimes I wish you were here."

Joe - "I hate fucking time differences."

Joe - "I'm posting the video I told you about."

Joe - "Jack is yelling at me for being on my phone the whole night."

Joe - *Video of the boys taking shots*

Joe - "I'm so drunk."

Joe - "What do you call a fake noodle?"

Joe - "AN IMPASTA!"

You always felt bad when Joe would send the "I wish you were here" texts, but at the same time you felt the same way. The general drunk texting always made you laugh, though.

Voicemail 1 - "Yyyyy/nnnnnnnn. Call me when you get off work."

Voicemail 2 - "Stop yelling in my ear! I'm talking to my friend!" Joe seemed to be scolding someone around him. "Y/n, you've got to visit London. You'd get a kick out of hanging with the boys." The rest of the message was muffled by drunk cheers from people in the night club.

Voicemail 3 - "Y/n, Jack doesn't think you exist." Joe said, but you heard his hand muffle the phone right after. "Sorry, love. I'm not interested. You seem lovely, but I'm talking to my girlfriend." You had to listen a few times to make out the whole thing, but that's definitely what he said. "Love, I want to buy you a plane ticket." he said, clearly to you, before yelling to Jack to order an Uber.

You text Joe to see if he was still awake.

You - "I see that drunk Sugg made a showstopping appearance in my texts and messages tonight, lol. Make it home safe?"

Joe - "Y/n!"

You - "You're alive! Were you by chance eating Laffy Taffy?"

Joe - "How'd you know??"

You - "The pasta joke, lol. It's my favorite candy."

Joe - "No one laughed at my joke."

Joe - "What's your favorite flavor?"

You - "Aww, I laughed! Banana."

Joe - "Ew!"

Joe - "You would like the rankest one haha.

You - "It makes sense. I like you plenty."

Joe - "Oohhh you've got jokes!"

Joe - "You always laugh at my jokes."

Joe - "I want to buy you a plane ticket to come visit me."

You - "Of course I laugh at your jokes."

You - "And why weren't you interested in your admirer tonight?"

Joe - "How'd you know about that?"

Imagining the confused look on Joe's face made you laugh.

You - "Joe, you left me voicemail messages, haha. You used me as an excuse to blow her off!"

Joe - "Oh shit. I remember that! I didn't think you could hear me!"

You - "I don't think you're as sneaky as you think you are when you're drunk, love."

Instead of texting you back, Joe called you. "Can't handle typing?" you laughed into the phone.

"Just rather hear your voice is all. She was pretty but not my type." he replied, slurring every other word.

"I don't even know what your type is." you replied, still giggling a bit.

"I don't either. I just know when I see 'em. Or hear 'em." he replied. You could hear a few people in the background.

"Is that so?" you asked. "You guys still partying?"

"Nah. We're at the Maynard flat. I'm crashing with Conor." Joe replied, but you heard Conor talking in the background. *Is that who you've been texting all night?* "He's still giving me shit for being on my phone."

"Probably because you blew off a beautiful girl to drunk text your friend." you laughed.

"Maybe. I don't care. I'd rather talk to you anyways." he replied, sounding sleepier.

You thought about the voicemail and what he had just said. While it was amazing that you and Joe had grown so close, you felt bad. Were you the reason he wasn't dating?

"Well I'm flattered. Why don't you get some sleep, love." you replied.

"I don't want to." Joe drunkenly whined.

"Well you don't always get what you want." you laughed. "Come on. I need to go make dinner and you need sleep."

"Fine." Joe huffed. "Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Of course, love." you replied. "Sweet dreams."

"Night, love." Joe replied.

Sitting down to eat your dinner, you couldn't get your earlier thoughts out of your head. If you were really the reason Joe wasn't dating, you'd feel so guilty. On the one hand, if you and Joe lived in the same place...You would want to date him. On the other hand, he lives half way around the world and while you knew what he looked like from his videos, he had only ever seen a few pictures of you. "Maybe I'm just overthinking this." you said outloud.

"You never said anything about visiting! I want to buy you a plane ticket." Joe text you a while after your phone call ended.

You - "We'll have a sober conversation about it later, lol. Go to sleep, Sugg. <3"

Thankfully you had the next day off, so when you woke up to texts from Joe you could actually take the time to respond.

Joe - "Why do you put up with me, lol?"

Joe - "I drunkenly harassed you all night."

You - "Oh, hush. I love me some drunk Sugg. You always make me laugh. :)"

Joe - "If you say so, haha."

You - "How are you feeling?"

Joe - "Like proper shit. We drank so much last night. I need someone to make me breakfast."

You - "You think you'd learn, lol. I'm getting ready to cook breakfast, but I doubt it'd still be hot if I mailed you some."

Joe - "Don't tease me with food! You'll have to cook when you're here."

You - "You're not letting that go, huh?"

Joe - "I really want you to visit. You're one of my best friends as weird as that sounds."

You - "Joe, I have a question and I don't want you to get mad. Okay?"

Joe - "Of course, love. Shoot."

You - "If I'm totally wrong, feel free to tell me. Am I one of the reasons you don't really date?"

You held your breath after sending the text. When you didn't get a response right away, you went to the kitchen to cook your breakfast.

Joe - "I'd be lying if I said no, but I don't think I ever realized it until you just said it."

You - "Joe, just the other day you were upset that you didn't have a girlfriend. I feel horrible that I had any part in you being upset."

Joe - "No, no. You shouldn't feel bad at all. When I need someone to talk to, you're there. When I feel like shit about myself, you're there. When I feel alone, you're there. When I need a kick in the ass, you're there. Those are all things that a girlfriend would do. I guess I just never thought about it before."

You - "Love, maybe you should try finding those things in someone you want to love."

You - "I care about you so much, but I would hate it if you ended up regretting letting me get in the way of you finding happiness."

Joe - "I could never regret letting you into my life."

Joe - "I'm buying you a plane ticket. It's final. I really want you to visit and I think it would be good for both of us."

You - "I'll think on it, love. I can use my vacation time whenever I want, I just want to make sure this is for the best. <3"

Joe - "Well I'm buying it regardless. You can decide if you want to come."

You - "Stubborn."

Joe - "It's why you love me."

Joe - "This Friday at 8 pm your time."

Joe - "I'm going to wake Conor up so we can get food."

Joe - "Please come."

"That stubborn, stubborn boy." you said, looking at your phone. You quickly received an email confirmation of your tickets. 1 week, starting Friday. That meant you left in 2 days. If you were going. You wasted most of the day worrying about everything that could go wrong. What if once you met you didn't get along? At the end of the day you had emailed your work telling them you were taking vacation time, packed your suitcase, and cleaned your apartment.

You had talked to Joe a few times over the next two days, but mostly you were making sure you didn't leave any loose ends before leaving for your trip.

"You're absolutely sure about this?" You text him, waiting for your uber to show up.

Joe - "100%"

Joe - "Stop worrying, love. This has been a long time coming."

You - "Go to sleep so you can pick me up in half a day, lol."

Joe - "Make sure you sleep on the plane. If you don't, jet lag will hit you like a brick wall. Believe me, I've done it."

You - "I have sleeping meds at the ready. :)"

Joe - "Good girl. See you tomorrow, love."

Joe - "I really cant wait."

You - "Same. See you tomorrow. Sweet dreams, Sugg."

Joe put his phone down and stared at the TV. "What's up, buddy?" Jack asked, sitting next to him. "You look a bit pale."

"Just a bit anxious, is all." Joe replied.

"What on earth has Joe Sugg anxious?" Jack teased him. Joe looked over at Jack but didn't answer. "Is it serious? What's going on?"

"Kind of. You know the girl that I'm always talking to when we're out?" Joe asked, running his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah. She's the girl you met through you-tube ages ago, right?" Jack replied.

"Going on 5 years." he said, looking down. "That's crazy. I've known her longer than I've known some of my best friends."

"So what are you anxious about?" Jack urged him to continue.

"I've always wanted her to visit and the other night she asked me if she was the reason I never date." Joe continued.

"That's a bit forward." Jack snarked.

"Nah, she's right. I just never realized it. So I told her and I think it freaked her out a bit. She told me that she didn't want to hold me back from finding happiness, but I've always wondered if she was it, you know? So I bought her a plane ticket and she'll be here tomorrow." Joe rambled quickly.

Jack smiled over at Joe not saying anything until he looked back at him. "You've got a mighty set on you, don't you?"

Joe laughed. "If that was true I would have bought her a ticket ages ago."

"So what's the plan?" Jack inquired.

"She's going to stay in mine for a week. I guess we'll see how things progress once we actually meet."

"Wait, you've never actually met in person?" Jack asked, a bit surprised.

"Nope. She's seen me in videos, obviously. We're friends on Facebook so I see pictures of her, but we've never actually met." Joe answered.

"Joe, what if she's really a 40 year old man?!" Jack gave him a weird look.

Joe busted up laughing. "She's not. We talk on the phone and I follow her on all of her social media. Snapchat filters can do a lot, but they can't turn a 40 year old man into a 25 year old woman." He continued to chuckle.

"Well, we'll all want to meet her." Jack said.

"That's up to her." Joe replied, standing up. "I'm gonna head to mine. Clean up the house and go to bed so I don't miss my alarm to pick her up."

"Need help cleaning? I'm still not on London time." Jack asked.

"If you want. Crash at mine, yah?" Joe replied.

"Let me grab a bag."

Jack and Joe cleaned the house for about an hour before crawling into the spare bed to fall asleep watching a movie.

After boarding the plane, you almost immediately took medicine and fell asleep. You woke up to eat and use the restroom once and then fell right back asleep. Feeling someone lightly shaking your shoulder, you realized a flight attendant was trying to wake you up. "Miss, we're getting ready to land."

"Thank you." you replied, sorting yourself out. You pulled a make-up wipe out to freshen your face up and you downed a water bottle.

"Joe!" Jack yelled, shooting out of bed. "I don't think your alarm went off!"

"What?!" Joe shot up. "Mate, we were supposed to leave 20 minutes ago." Joe grabbed his phone and pulled his clothes from the previous day back on.

"I'll order the Uber." Jack said, pulling his converse on. "He'll be here in 3."

Joe - "Running a tad late, we'll be there soon."

You - "I just landed. We aren't even at the gate yet. Take your time, nerd. Be safe, please."

Joe - "Of course, love."

Joe - "I'm so happy I'll get to actually hug you soon."

Joe - "That sounds weird, but I'm so glad you decided to come."

You - "It doesn't sound weird at all. <3"

Walking through the gate, you found a restroom to use before waiting for your bag. "You can do this." you said, looking in the mirror after washing your hands. Seeing the dark circles under your eyes and your hair in a messy bun, you started to get nervous. You pulled your make-up out and went to apply concealer before stopping yourself. If he expected you to look like a Disney princess after an 11 hour flight, then you didn't really care about what he thought.

You - "Waiting for my bag."

Joe - "Just parked. We'll see you soon."

You - "We'll?"

Joe - "Sorry, I forgot. Jack is with me. I hope that's okay."

You - "Of course. Just to warn you both, I'm a hot mess, lol.

Joe - "Impossible."

You - "You say that now. Look for the girl in Joggers and batman shirt."

Standing in front of the luggage carousel, you felt something small hit you in the back. looking around, you didn't see anything. When it happened again, you saw a mini banana Laffy Taffy sitting next to you on the floor. Your face immediately lit up and you turned to find the person who threw it.

"Really Sugg? You make me fly half a day and now you're assaulting me?" you laughed, seeing him walking up to you with Jack.

"You know I do it with love." he laughed, throwing his arms around you. He buried his face in your hair and held you tight to his chest. "I never thought I'd get to do this." he said, continuing to hold you in his arms.

"Ahem." Jack cleared his throat.

"Hi Jack." you said, peeking around Joe's shoulder.

"Nope. I'm not ready to let go." Joe said, refusing to let you leave the hug.

"Rude." jack teased.

Joe finally loosened his arms and just stared at you. You couldn't help but blush. "Stop being weird." you laughed, covering your cheeks, making him laugh too.

"I can't help it." Joe replied. "Feels a bit like Christmas."

"As you can see, Joe is just as cheesy in real life as he is in his videos." Jack interjected, reaching his hand out to shake yours.

"Oh, I already knew that." you laughed. "Nice to meet you, Jack."

"You too." Jack replied. You had been standing there so long that your suitcase was the only one left on the belt. "Is that your bag?" he asked, grabbing it when you nodded yes.

"You alright, Sugg?" you asked, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

Joe just stared at you for a moment. He stared at your eyes and then your lips. He stayed silent, but his mind was racing. He realized that he never wanted you to leave London. His feelings became very clear to him. "I'm great, love." he said kissing your forehead.

"You two could stand there with gooey eyes all day or we could go get breakfast. Who votes for breakfast?" Jack said, raising his hand.

"Alright, alright, ya big baby. Lets go get food." Joe laughed.

"Can I get changed before we go anywhere public?" you asked.

"You know what. Lets go back to Joe's and I'll go around the corner to get us food." Jack suggested.

"Sounds good to me." Joe said, looking to you.

"Works for me." you smiled at them both.

When you got to Joe's house, he showed you around and walked you to the room you'd be staying in. You kind of unpacked your bag and laid out the clothes you were going to wear for the day. Joe showed you the spare bathroom and told you where the shampoo and soaps were. "Call if you need anything." he said, placing another kiss on your forehead.

After letting the hot water of the shower wash away the airplane grime and muscle aches from sleeping sitting up, you went to get out but realized you hadn't grabbed a towel. "Joe!" you called into the hallway, trying to stay hidden behind the door.

"You alright?" Joe jogged down the hall.

"I'm fine." you laughed. "I just forgot a towel."

"One second." he said, walking to a cabinet and grabbing one. "Here, love." he said, handing you the towel.

"Thank you." you blushed, feeling a little exposed. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Take your time." Joe smiled and left you to get ready.

When you walked back to the living room, you stopped at the end of the hall, hearing Joe and Jack talk about you.

"Is she what you expected?" Jack asked Joe, amidst the noises of take-away containers opening.

"I don't know what I expected, but I know that she's way more than I could have imagined. I can now add beautiful and genuine to the list of things I know about her. The fact that she wore a batman shirt tells me she is absolutely who she says she is." Joe laughed.

"I expected her to be like, dressed up and girly." Jack laughed.

"I didn't at all." Joe replied, still chuckling. "I know her pretty well after 5 years."

"Are you glad you finally got her here?" Jack asked, mouth full of food and already knowing the answer from the look on Joe's face.

"No doubt. I'm pretty sure I love her." Joe answered.

"I can tell. Are you going to tell her?" Jack replied.

"MMmm, breakfast smells delicious." you said, entering the room.

"I got you coffee too." Jack said, handing you a cup.

"Thank you!" you replied. "Do we have any plans for today?" You asked, sitting next to Joe and taking the food container he handed you.

"That's up to you." Joe replied. He looked you up and down taking in your appearance. "You look beautiful, by the way."

"Aww, thank you, Sugg." You answered, blushing a bit. "Why is it up to me?"

"Well, the boys will all want to meet you." Jack said.

"Only if you want." Joe quickly added.

"I'm down for whatever you want to do." You replied, taking a bite of your food. "This is delicious, thank you."

"Well, then. I vote we go to ours." Jack said, finishing his food. "I am going to shower and change since this is what I wore last night."

"I need to as well. We rushed out of here so quickly, we just threw on our days old clothes." Joe laughed.

"Well, you both get ready and I'm going to finish my breakfast." You suggested, laying down after they had both left the room. You woke up to Joe sitting next to you running his fingers through your hair. "That feels good." You said, sitting up. "How long have I been out?"

"Not long, love. Jack's almost ready to go" Joe replied. "You can lay back down if you want."

"I'll fall back asleep." You laughed, stretching.

"It's Jack. You have some time to nap." Joe laughed, patting his thigh.

"Fine." you gave in, laying your head on his leg and letting your eyes close. You fell asleep quickly, feeling Joe resume his playing with your hair.

You woke back up to Joe loud whispering "Shut up! Don't wake her up."

"I'm up." you yawned. "Ready to go?" you asked, sorting your hair back out.

"We've been ready for a while." Jack laughed at you.

"Then why didn't you wake me up?" you asked, rubbing your eyes.

"You just looked too comfortable." Joe smiled at you. "You're quite cute when you're sleeping."

"Nerds, you should have woken me up." you scolded them. "Lets go." you stood up, going back to the spare room to grab your bag.

Joe followed you to make sure you were okay. "We really don't have to leave the house today if you don't want to." He said, sitting down on the spare bed.

"I want to." you walked up to him to stand between his legs and placed a kiss on his forehead. "I just needed to grab my purse."

Joe's smile went ear to ear and his eyes dropped to your lips. "I know I keep saying it, but I'm really glad you're finally here."

"Me too. Really." you smiled down at him. "Lets go. I want to meet your friends." you grabbed Joe's hand and pulled him out of the bedroom.

When you arrived at the Pieters/Maynard flat, everyone else had already arrived. Joe and Jack were greeted as usual, and Joe introduced you to the boys. "Finally we get to meet the mystery girl." Conor pulled you into a hug. Your afternoon/evening was pretty chill. You guys played games, drank, ate, watched a few movies, and talked. When it was getting pretty late, you decided to grab some water and hang out on the balcony.

"What are you doing out here, love?" Joe joined you.

"Sobering up a bit." you laughed, finishing your glass of water.

"The boys getting too rowdy for you?" Joe asked, coming to stand by you, leaning against the balcony wall.

"Not at all." you replied, pulling your sleeves over your hands. "Everyone has been very sweet, actually."

"I'm glad." Joe slurred a bit. "Are you cold?"

"Just a bit, but I'm fine. I love this weather." you answered, looking out over the city. Joe shifted to stand behind you and wrap his arms around your middle. "I'll add touchy feely to the 'drunk Sugg' attribute list." you laughed.

"Sorry." he said, starting to pull his arms back.

"Hey, come back." you fake whined. "I didn't say I didn't like it." you put your hands over his and laced your fingers together.

Joe rested his chin on your shoulder and held you tight against his body. "I think I'm just afraid I'm going to do something stupid to ruin this."

"You won't ruin it." you reassured him.

"I'm really afraid I might." Joe replied, turning you to face him. "I've wanted to do this since I saw you standing there at the airport." Joe said, capturing your lips in a brief kiss.

Going up on your tip toes to continue the kiss, you trailed your fingers up either side of Joe's neck. Joe's hands made their way down your sides to rest on your hips, his body pinning you to the balcony wall. When you finally broke apart you were both out of breath. "I told you you wouldn't ruin it." you said, snuggling your face under his chin.

Kissing the top of your head, Joe said "Lets go home, love."

After saying bye to the boys and making your way back to Joe's, you went to the spare room to get changed into your sleep clothes. You brushed your teeth and washed your face and plugged your phone into the charger. When Joe didn't come find you, you wandered the house looking for him. Knocking on his door, it opened to reveal Joe in his towel on the other side. "Come in, love. I'll get changed in the bathroom."

You climbed onto Joe's bed and waited for him to return. When he walked into the room with wet hair wearing just his sleep pants, you couldn't help but smile at the sleepy, tipsy boy. "Feel better?" you asked.

"Indeed. And seeing you laying there in my bed makes me really happy." He said, crawling to join you on the bed. "Stay with me?" he asked.

"That's the plan." you replied, shifting to scoot under the covers.

Joe joined you under the covers and opened his arms, telling you to snuggle up against him. "I know I keep saying this, but I can't believe you're actually here." one hand tangled it's fingers with yours and the other rested on the small of your back under your shirt. "Am I what you expected?" Joe asked.

"I feel like I already knew your mannerisms and such from your videos, but actually being able to hug you and look at you when I'm talking to you? It's so much sweeter than I could have guessed." you replied, hiding your face in Joe's chest.

"You're so much better with words than I am. You said that perfectly." Joe leant down to kiss your hair. "I had only seen pictures of you, but your personality comes across exactly the same in person. It's just harder to keep my hands to myself when you're flesh and blood standing in front of me." Joe's hand crept up your back a bit.

"We'll have to have a sober conversation about that later." you laughed. Joe slowly removed his hand from underneath your shirt and placed it back on your clothed back. "Joe." you said, lifting your head and scooting up to face him. "I wasn't scolding you, silly boy." you dipped down to softly kiss his lips.

"I just get told a lot that I'm too much. Too touchy or too loud." Joe replied between kisses.

"I've never thought that." you said, kissing up his jaw and down his neck. "I just meant that we'll have to talk about what this really is and what we both want it to be, but I don't want to have that conversation right now." you said, sitting up to straddle Joe's middle.

"We don't have to talk about it right now, but I already know what I want." Joe said, sitting up and running his hands up your sides under your shirt.

The next morning you woke up laying across Joe's chest. You could feel his fingers tracing shapes up and down the naked skin of your back. You laid there for quite a while, thinking on how this was going to work. You didn't regret sleeping with him and you'd be willing to do whatever it took to be with him if it's what he wanted.

"Mornin', love." Joe said, smiling down at you.

You adjusted how you were laying to hold yourself up on your elbows. "Good morning." you said, ducking down to kiss him.

"Am I allowed to say it now?" Joe ran his hands up and down your sides.

"Say what?" you asked.

"You said we needed to have a sober conversation. Well, I'm sober and I know what I want." Joe replied, leaning up to kiss you again.

Even though everything had gone perfectly so far, you were nervous to talk about this. "I guess I'm ready." you said, your brow showing the worry you felt.

"Hey, don't stress." Joe said, pushing your hair out of your face. He cleared his throat and put his hands on either side of your face, just staring up at you for a second. "You told me that I should try to find the person that's going to make me happy. Well, I did. I've got her right here." He paused, leaning up to kiss you. "And I don't know if that means that one of us has to move right away or if we make a habit of visiting each other as often as we can, but I want to make this work. I need to."

You were left a bit speechless, just staring down at Joe's crooked smile. You let your weight rest on Joe's chest again, meeting your lips in a slow kiss.

"Can I take that as a good sign?" Joe laughed, breaking the kiss.

Nodding, you replied. "I'm in. Whatever it takes, I'm in."

[togami-fan-translation]

Danganronpa Togami - Chapter 2

Part of my Danganronpa Togami fan translation | Masterpost 🔗

1

McDonald’s. McDonald’s. Convenience store food. Cup noodles. Domino’s Pizza. KFC. Instant ramen. Instant. McDonald’s. McDonald’s. Domino’s Pizza. Convenience store food.

If I told you that this was my diet for a week, would you be worried?

2

Fast food is not a disease unique to modern society, that’s the only fact that saves me.

Apparently, ancient Roman apartments didn’t have kitchens, so people bought ready-made meals, and in 13th-century Paris, there were already restaurants serving food and cakes, and in the Edo period, food stall culture flourished.

The benefits of homemade food? The connections that are born around a dinner table? Those are just straight up lies.

I browse the internet while munching on leftover McDonald’s fries, reaffirming that everyone other than me has talent, and then go to bed when I’m tired. I don’t really know why I kept living like a mole, but one thing is clear: it’s because of something everyone likes to call hope.

I was crushed by this “hope,” and lived in a world without it. I never left my room and I chose to settle in a place where hope was invisible.

“Hehehe.”

“Y-you… Why are you laughing?”

“You’re still a newbie, mister. Didn’t you know? If you force yourself to laugh, it’ll calm your mind.”

“I guess that's how it is.”

“Why don't you try laughing? Come on, laugh with me! Hehehe... What’s this? It’s delicious. Try eating this! It’s super tasty!”

So then why am I out and connecting with someone over a meal?

3

A quick search reveals a plethora of talents: Super High School Level Traditional Dancer, Super High School Level Groomer, Super High School Level Female Bassist, Super High School Level Bear Hunter, Super High School Level Candle Maker, Super High School Level Charcoal Burner, and more. It’s almost as if they want to declare that talent itself has no value.

In short, I was damned from the start.

I was a mole sleeping alone, far away from civilization. In the soil, there are carbohydrates and internet access, so I won’t die or anything, but it makes me feel dead even though I’m alive.

That day, as I munched on some leftover fries, I was searching for information about the talents that were shining at this very moment.

There are many people in this world who find meaning in the sales of video games and those who get excited when their favorite baseball team wins. They directly link other people’s lives to their own. They just skim off parts of other’s lives to validate their own. Otherwise, they wouldn’t care about what to do with their stacks of bills or even how to use a ball.

I guess what I'm doing is close to that kind of stupid behavior.

Being a mole, I can’t help but sniff out the powers and abilities that sprout up like bamboo shoots in early spring, and sigh with relief, thinking, “Talent is pretty ordinary, not unique.”

I know it's futile. Of course I want to get outside.

But talentless people like me can’t go outside, and what hurt me even more was the fact that while I was suffering like this, so many people with zero talent were living outside.

Even if the bath was filled with shit, as long as the person soaking in it is satisfied and thinks, “This bath is nice,” then that counts as “outside” for them. There are also so many people who mistakenly think that just because they've started a family or gotten promoted, they’ve earned the right to live outside.

I would never do that.

I refuse to fall into the trap of self-satisfaction. I won't become an “evangelist” who only talks about misfortune. I won't become a “mom or dad” who protects a shitty house, or a “CEO” who laughs and cackles.

So now the most troubling question is, “What do I do?”

I never thought it would turn out like this. Honestly, I can't believe it. I believed that even if I had nothing, I had talent.

It’s not like I need to be able to run 100 meters in under three seconds, or be able to guess the brand of wine just by looking at its color, or levitate… but what about a talent for writing, for example?

I tried reading the novels written by Super High School Level Literary Girl and Super High School Level Light Novel Writer, but honestly they were so shitty that it moved me by just how shitty they were.

Damn it! What makes them so good and me so bad? Why are they outside and I’m a mole?!

Huh? I’ve been speaking for too long?

Maybe you’re right. A girl’s life advice is annoying, but an old man’s monologue is the worst.

I’ll close my eyes and go to sleep. I wish everyone’s dreams would die. I also wish everyone’s hopes would die. And those people who think their hopes and dreams will come true? Die some more.

Good night.

4

Of course I noticed something strange. Even someone fast asleep would notice the sound of a loud explosion.

At first, I thought that the despair disease had finally arrived in this remote countryside. But the presence I sensed from behind the curtains didn’t seem to be that. I saw a video on an underground file sharing site of a certain country where the majority of the population had contracted despair disease. The people seemed to be having lots of fun.

They piled despair on despair, multiplied negative on negative, and laughed out loud as if they had been filled with pure bliss. They were killing each other while laughing. Whether they were hitting someone else or being hit, stabbing someone else or being stabbed, they were all laughing happily at the attack. So in other words, everyone was a perpetrator and there were no victims. 

But now, screams were coming from outside the apartment, and even I was woken up by the noise. There were only a few other things bothering me besides whether the door was locked or not. I had a headache, probably due to anxiety.

I went back to my room, washed my hands, and turned on the TV, but it didn't respond. The internet wouldn't work either.

Where’s the phone?

I felt kind of embarrassed since I didn’t have any friends or anything to call, so instead I tried calling the local weather forecast. It was out of service, of course.

The screams from outside were getting notably louder.

I checked the stock of instant noodles, walked around my room aimlessly like a tiger at the zoo, and then crawled back into bed.

There’s a psychological term called “normalcy bias.” When an accident or disaster occurs right in front of our eyes and our lives are put at risk, we are made to cling to our everyday lives, thinking, “Well, it’ll be okay. I won’t die.” It’s a system that removes ourselves from the story and helps us escape from the imminent death approaching. The scary thing is that even though I knew this, I still couldn’t get out of bed.

I stayed like that for about two hours. After that, there was no sound at all. Complete silence, you couldn’t even hear the wind. Silence. And it was beautiful. The silence was eerie, widespread, and beautiful. It was the first time in my life I had experienced such silence.

I got out of bed.

My body felt sluggish, the calluses on my feet were hard, and my stomach felt about 60% full just like it always does. But despite that, I felt different. I felt refreshed for some reason. It took me nearly a minute to realize the reason for this.

Ah, that’s it. It’s the world that’s different, not me.

The common sense of yesterday is gone, I can do whatever I want.

Hold it. I’m not an idiot. I’m not going to get carried away. Getting excited about the end of the world is what cowards do. Just like cults that are eagerly awaiting the end of the world. I’m a mole and maybe even a coward, but I’m not so low that I’d cling to a brand new god.

So what do I do? Nothing. I’ll just stay the same and feel the way I always do. Just blame talent, start in the usual mood, start from a negative point.

I just had to check something.

For the first time in ages, I’m setting out for a reason other than to get food.

5

For some reason, I imagined the town would be destroyed. I expected to see mountains of rubble, corpses scattered around, and the smell of death permeating the air but… my expectations were completely wrong.

There was no change in the convenience store, the residential area I could see from my apartment window, the quaint telephone poles, or even the mountains that surrounded the town. The dimly lit town had the same scenery as always.

Except for one thing: it was completely deserted.

“Is anyone here?” I wanted to call out, but I would be embarrassed if there really was someone there, and I would be worried if there really was no one there, so I just walked around in silence.

The lights still were on at the convenience store, and there were signs that McDonald’s had been open for business until just a moment ago. There were no unusual changes to the houses, and there were cars on the road with their engines still running.

The only thing missing is the people.

When I visited a certain Eskimo village, there was not a soul to be seen. Half-eaten meals and seal pelts for jackets were left behind in the huts. But I still have no clue where the villagers went or why they vanished.

It reminded me of those ghost towns from those horror stories I read as a kid. I thought I’d see a stereotypical apocalyptic story of people being killed and towns being destroyed, but what actually happened was surreal.

I never liked surreal things, and I don’t have the sense to understand them, so the sudden stress just made my stomach hurt. I feel like I’m going to throw up my hamburger and fries.

There’s nobody around, but the town is the same as always, and that unchanging feeling makes it even more creepy.

Before I knew it, I was running. I ran around and around, and when I got tired, I found myself on a big street.

“Come on!” My body, lacking exercise, screamed in pain, and my legs cramped. I couldn’t help but collapse on the spot. No matter how many times I rubbed my legs, they wouldn’t return to normal. I regretted not stretching before running… but I’ve already proven that stretching is useless. I’m just a loser.

It was pathetic. It was pathetic to think that while the world was in the midst of an unprecedented and abnormal situation, I was the man crying about leg cramps.

“Hey!”

Someone hit me, slamming something like a giant bag in my face. I rolled on the ground. My whole face was numb, I couldn’t feel a thing, and my vision was blurry. I touched the tip of my nose and it was stained with blood.

Damn it. This is it. So this is my role in the story. Even if the world changes, I won’t. It’s all because I have no talent, because I’m just a minor character.

Feeling pain, anger, and other emotions that I couldn’t quite grasp, I looked up, and something appeared in my shaky vision. Someone dragging what looked like a huge bag slowly approached.

Clatter, clatter, clatter! It made the sound of something heavy being dragged as it came close by.

In an almost blind rage, I kicked with my free leg.

“Fgush!”

With a strange shriek, the person was sent flying. Huh? What a surprise, the kick hit them.

And they were a beautiful girl.

6

“Why are you staring at me like that?” “S-sorry.”

“Apologizing like a newbie, hehehe. I don’t mind. I’m used to being stared at.”

“No no, I mean I’m sorry for kicking you.”

“You really are a newbie, huh. I was the one who attacked you, so which makes it self defense. So basically I won't sue you.”

“That’s a relief…”

“I should be saying the same thing, I’ve finally found my first villager.”

Let me repeat, she was beautiful. She had nicely trimmed bangs, long, slender limbs, big and slightly droopy eyes…

“Ehehe.”

…And her laugh. It felt like a refined but mischievous cat had become human. It may be immoral to think this way about a girl who is probably way younger than me, but my heart fluttered. 

Serves you right! Not to anyone in particular though.

“My name is Satomi Aoba. Nice to meet you, Mr. First Villager.”

The beautiful girl introduced herself and bowed at a comfortable angle. Just like her name “Aoba,” her long hair swayed like fresh green leaves.

“This isn’t a village, it’s a town,” I corrected, making it an irrelevant point. “Um, what are you doing all the way to a town like this anyways?”

“I’m on a trip to heal my broken heart.”

The girl who called herself Aoba had a refined outfit and had a nice hairstyle, and the carry bag that had injured me looked heavy, so she certainly looked like a traveler from out of the country.

But this town was just home to the birthplace of a famous pianist, there’s nothing else worth seeing here. There’s just an overwhelming amount of nature.

I wonder if they’re on their way to some tourist spot… But how could even a beautiful girl like this have her heart broken? The outside is pretty scary, I thought.

“By the way, what happened to this town? It’s so empty,” Aoba asked, smiling like a female announcer.

“Well, actually, I don’t really know either.”

“You don’t know?”

“Because I was asleep.”

“Oh dear, why?”

“Because I was tired.” My response was typical of trash, but it’s been a while since he's had a proper conversation with a human, let alone a pretty girl, so it can't be helped… Let’s just accept that.

“Hehehe,” Aoba suddenly bursts out laughing. “I understand.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a total newbie, aren’t you?”

“At what?”

“At life.”

“Huh?”

“It looks like your life isn’t doing too well. It’s hard to go from newbie to pro without some success in your life.”

“........”

“Think of the horizontal bar or the guitar. If you stumble on your first step, you won’t be able to do a backflip or an arpeggio.”

“Don’t you think you're being a little harsh on someone you just met?”

“Is there a problem with that?”

“I know you probably really want to lecture me right now, But before that, I want you to tell me what happened. I was, well, really asleep…”

“It was the work of Byakuya Togami.”

7

Byakuya Togami was famous, sure, but he wasn’t the type of person that young girls would know about, and it wasn’t the kind of name that would come up at a time like this.

“You’re telling me you didn’t know about the World Domination Declaration?”

I was confused, and Aoba tilted her head, looking even more confused than I did. That reaction was troubling. I’d never heard of a World Domination Declaration. I never thought I’d ever even hear such a stupid declaration.

And so after hearing everything, I was, well, how should I put it, exhausted.

Byakuya Togami declared world domination in Prague? We have to either kill him within 24 hours or find the “poor cow” (whatever that means) or otherwise then he’ll conquer the world? He dropped a satellite on an island in the Mediterranean to prove that his “declaration” was serious?

Are you kidding me?

I mean, why Prague? Did he use a private jet? That just pisses me off. I’ve never had my wallet stuffed with point cards like that guy.

“Byakuya Togami is an arrogant prick,” I said. He’s the Super High School Level Heir. He’s Japanese but has blonde hair and blue eyes and calls himself the Super High School Level Perfection. He made about 40 billion yen from day trading, wears sharp glasses…”

“Do you know him?”

“I could never.”

“You know a lot about him considering you don’t know him.”

Know a lot about him? Of course I do, right? My beloved Hope. My hated Hope.

I…

I’ve always…

“I’ve always wanted to get into Hope’s Peak Academy.”

“Well,” Aoba chimed in. “One of my friends got into Hope’s Peak Academy.”

“Really?”

“So what kind of talent do you have, mister?”

I wondered which word hurt my feelings more, but I think it was both.

“I have no talent.”

But I have dreams.

When a boy watching a Major League Baseball broadcast has a vague dream of becoming a Major Leaguer, or when a girl who happens to pass by a flower shop has a small dream of becoming a florist, there is hardly anyone who calmly decides that they don't have the talent and gives up on their dream.

I had dreams. I had dreams because I read authors like Seiichi Kirima, Hiroto Shimabe, Kojo Sugita, Tatsumi Sekiguchi, Kyusaku Yumeno, Kilgore Trout, and Derek Hartfield.

The only thing they had that I didn’t was talent. But that didn’t matter now.

The two of us exchange information. When Togami Byakuya issued his World Domination Declaration in Prague, I was sleeping in my apartment and escaping reality, and the town was probably deserted during that time, and Aoba arrived after it was all over. Three questions came to mind.

Question number one: Why did they attack such a remote area? There are many cities out there that would be perfect for attacking as the first step in world domination. Sapporo, New York, Bologna, or Anqing would have been fine, so why did they target this place?

Question number two: Why did he eliminate the townsfolk? The best way to show off your power and instill fear is to kill. Making them vanish seems to miss the point a little. Or maybe there’s some other reason?

Question number three:

“Why did you hit me?”

“Well there was no guarantee that you were a townsfolk. So I thought I’d first make you lose your will to fight and then listen to what you had to say.”

“What kind of idea is that? Are you like a soldier?”

“Do soldiers do such horrible things?”

“I dunno, but…”

Rattle, rattle, rattle, rattle!

Aoba started to leave, pulling the carry bag that she’d attacked me with.

“Wait, wait. I apologize if I offended you.”

“Did I say anything about you offending me?” Aoba turned around. “Apologizing immediately is what a newbie would do. If you feel guilty, you’re the one who loses.”

“Sorry.” In the end, all I could think of was to apologize. “Hey, please wait. Where are you heading off to?”

“I’m just checking some stuff.”

“Checking what?”

“I’m checking where the townspeople have vanished to.”

“Do you have any idea where that could be?”

“Nope. I just have something in mind.”

“Something… in mind? Like where?”

“In their houses.”

8

If you want to hide a tree, you should hide it in the forest. Well, it’s not that easy, here it’s easier and more efficient to keep the townspeople in their homes than to kidnap them.

But why don’t they just come out of their homes? Is there something preventing them from getting out?

Unpleasant thoughts were beginning to take hold, so I decided to use my body instead of my head.

We set our sights on a large house with a red roof and a garden. The lights, though, were off.

Aoba pressed the intercom, but there was no response. She tried pressing again, but there was still nothing. Then Aoba turned the doorknob, but as expected, it’s locked.

“Let’s go around to the garden.”

However, the window facing the garden is also locked, as one would also expect.

“H-hey, let’s call it a day,” I said, feeling hesitant. “If it’s locked, there’s nothing we can do…”

“Move.” Aoba picked up her carrier bag and threw it at the window. A sound seven times louder than I’d imagined echoed through the deserted town. “Now we can go inside from here.” Dragging the carrier bag with the debris on it, Aoba entered the living room.

It was too late to run now so I followed her inside. I turn on the lights and search the first floor. I opened door after door, but I couldn't find anything unusual or out of the ordinary. The home had a typical layout and just the usual furniture. All that was left was to check the bedroom.

Aoba was already standing there by the door and she proceeded to turn the doorknob before I could say anything. Finally, the door was open.

Before us was… a middle school student... or a high school student? It didn’t really matter now though, he was already dead.

The boy was crucified on the wall of the room. Scissors were stuck deep into his hands, supporting his delicate body. There were several scissors stuck into his abdomen, and one or all of them must have been fatal wounds, as a large amount of blood was leaking out. And beside their corpse was the phrase “Bloodbath Fever,” written in presumably the victim’s own blood.

We immediately ran out of the house. The town was enveloped in silence, as if the carnage we had just witnessed had never even happened.

There was no wind, so the clouds didn’t move, there was no sound because there were no people, and the doors of the houses were closed, like a well-made replica.

We had two choices: Do we look or do we not?

“Let’s look.”

Right. I knew Aoba would say that, but I started to feel sick anyways. There was no point in being prepared or giving up here.

After a quick discussion, we decided to target a house on a back street. It was purely wishful thinking to think that a change in living area would change the chances of survival, but this kind of confirmation work would be impossible to do without some hope.

Just like before, we smashed the window and entered through the living room, just like before.

This time the body was in the shower room. It was a middle school student... a high school student? Well, it didn’t really matter, she was dead. The girl had been thrusted into the bathtub.

There was a knife stabbed in her neck. It was stuck so deep that it would have been extremely difficult to remove, but it glowed eerily in the dim bathtub. The body’s clothes were stained with blood, making their original color difficult to discern.

We ran outside again, and suddenly found ourselves standing on the street where we first met. How much time had passed? How long had we been in a daze, in silence? We looked at each other, breathing heavily, and just stood there.

Finally, Aoba spoke. “…The first body… Isn’t it the work of Genocider Syo?”

“Then the second body must be the work of Jack the Stabber.”

Genocider Syo, a serial killer who is making waves all over Japan.

They target men in their teens and early twenties, stabbing them to pieces with scissors, leaving behind the phrase “Bloodbath Fever” written in the blood of the victim at the scene of the crime, just like a dog marking its territory. It’s abnormal, cruel. And because of their strangely stylish methods and their ability to not leave any evidence behind, they’ve been dubbed an urban legend.

Jack the Stabber, the serial killer who specializes in young girls.

Their method of killing is simple: a single stab of a knife into the neck. To date, 77 girls have been murdered. Their elusive nature has even led to a three-minute program called “Today’s Jack the Stabber Forecast,” which has a pretty bad reputation among PTAs and human rights advocates but great ratings, with some sarcastically saying it could become a long-running TV show.

Both Genocider Syo and Jack the Stabber are Japan’s leading serial killers, and their true identities are shrouded in mystery. I’ve heard that not only the police, but even the detective library’s own zero rank detectives can’t find any clues about them.

There are rumors that they may or may not have asked the Japan Detectives’ Club to investigate. They may or may not have even asked the ER3 system Comprehensive Research Center to solve the case.

“But it’s most likely a copycat killer,” I quickly mentioned to avoid unneeded trouble. How strange is it that the two biggest killers in Japan just happened to come to the same town and murder people at the same time. It’s just too absurd.

Well, it’s also absurd to think that a copycat killer would ravage this town, but if Byakuya Togami was serious about planning something absurd, it could have happened.

But why the hell would he do that? World domination? Are you really serious about that? If so, I’m disappointed in you, Byakuya Togami.

Ugh, I reeeeeeally don’t give a damn about world domination. Even if I had the whole world in my hands, I’d just be doing the same thing but now as a landlord. Collecting rent, listening to complaints, and doing renovations. What’s fun about that?

Ruling the world is not the same as flying around it with your talents, Byakuya Togami of all people should know that much. Now I was curious about the details of that World Domination Declaration that he had made in Prague.

“Hey Mister, let’s check the other houses too.”

A parade of depressing words.

Wanting any information we could, we continued our tiresome search. The results: We searched fifteen homes and found fifteen bodies. One person was in a wedding dress, with all four limbs severed. Another person had their chest pierced deeply with a Japanese sword (specifically a dotanuki). Someone had their head thrust into a tank of goldfish swimming in it. Someone else was frozen in an industrial freezer. Some other person had a message written in their own blood.

You get the idea, we can omit the other ten bodies. They were dismembered, headless, and all sorts of bizarre stuff. Speaking of bizarre, all of the fifteen homes we checked were locked. It wasn’t just the front doors, but even stuff like small windows in the attic and the bathrooms were locked.

They were locked rooms, but it didn’t stop there.

There was a dead bird in a birdcage and a dead dog in a dog house, but the birdcage door had wire wrapped around it and the doghouse’s entrance was boarded up. Furthermore, chains were wrapped around a microwave containing the body of a baby, and duct tape had been stuck to the lid of the electric kettle with a kitten’s body inside.

Uh… Is it fair to conclude that every living thing in this town, except for me and Aoba, had been killed inside of some locked room? If so…

9

…The world is fucked.

10

When things get to this point, you might as well raid a store.

We snatched some food from the shelves of an abandoned supermarket. We made a makeshift table out of an upside-down vegetable case, and placed some sausages and zucchini on it all while I drank a can of beer. Normally I can’t stand nicotine or alcohol, but this was an emergency. The vague drunkenness felt good.

I haven’t felt my body craving alcohol since that despair inducing graduation ceremony. I drank a lot that time, and I was hit with a hangover… a three long day hangover. After drowning myself in alcohol until I was utterly wasted, I threw up like the protagonist from A Personal Matter, but the despair that had seeped inside me never went away.

The “Personal Despair” planted in me by hope tormented me, so I had no choice but to become a mole. I had no choice but to buy security and escape into a good night’s sleep.

I was crushed by hope, and lived in a world without hope. I didn’t leave my room, and burrowed into a place where there was no hope.

“Hehehe.”

“Y-you… Why are you laughing?”

“You’re still a newbie, mister. Didn’t you know? If you force yourself to laugh, it’ll calm your mind.”

“I guess that’s how it is.”

“Why don’t you try laughing? Come on, laugh with me! Hehehe... What’s this? It’s delicious. Try eating this! It’s super tasty!”

So then why am I out and connecting with someone over a meal?

The foreign gummy candy that Aoba handed me tasted like a bicycle tire. It’s been a while since I've eaten something that doesn’t suit my taste. Usually when I’m with other people, I'm forced to eat, read, and watch things I don’t like.

“Om nom.” As Aoba walks through the store eating her gummies, her eyes sparkle like a mischievous cat.

According to her own words, she had come here on a trip to get over a broken heart, and she looked exhausted when she saw a corpse. In that sense, she was probably a normal girl.

But… her resilience…

…It was extraordinary.

Despite having just been caught up in such a dreadful situation and seeing many corpses, she only seemed to recover. What kind of life did she live before now?

“Now what do we do?” Meanwhile, I was exhausted. “The last thing I want to do is look at more dead bodies.”

“Om nomph. It doesn’t look like we’ll get any more results this way, and I’m curious about other towns, so should we move?”

“I agree. I totally agree.”

“Do you have any friends or family?”

“No.”

“What about a girlfriend?”

“I- what? My parents don’t live here, and I don’t have any friends.”

“My condolences.”

“Eh?”

“My C-O-N-D-O-L-E-N-C-E-S,” Aoba said, pausing. “I have a great idea. Why don’t we split up?”

“H-hold on, what do you mean?”

“What do you mean ‘what do I mean?’”

“What’s so great about that idea? Even if there are any survivors that got separated…”

“Hehehe. I don’t see any benefit in traveling with you.” Aoba said bluntly, smiling.

“Err, but, well,” I was deeply shocked, but I tried desperately to think things through. “You know, they say that even a brush with someone’s sleeve is a bond from a past life. Prince Naka No Oe and Nakatomi no Kamatari, who initiated the Taika Reforms, met through playing kemari.”

“Kemari?”

“Have you never heard of the Taika Reforms?”

“I probably learned about it through the Isshi Incident.”

This was no time to be upset by the generational gap. I pleaded desperately. I suggested that I knew the geography of the area well and that I could drive a car. I’d never tried to promote myself so much before.

In the end, Aoba reluctantly agreed to accompany me. We started moving before she could change her mind.

I left the supermarket with a beautiful girl next to me. This is the first time in my life that I’ve walked around with such a fine looking girl. But if I let my guard down even for a moment, Aoba will abandon me and head off. Under normal circumstances, that wouldn’t be an issue, but this situation was far from normal.

No. Is it because this is an abnormal situation that I have to be strong? Being a man is tough. I mean, if you're not strong, you’re basically worthless.

“Soooo, where’s your car, Mister?”

“I don’t have one.”

“...............”

“Hey, uh, wait, hold on. Let’s take that one.”

I hurried over to an old Toyota Corolla parked on the side of the road. I took a wire I’d stolen from the supermarket and bent it like a fishing hook and (information redacted), and the driver’s door opened. Then I put my hands under the steering wheel and (information also redacted) until the engine started.

Aoba stared at me with a rather disgusted look on her face. “Where did you learn that trick, mister?”

“I looked it up on the internet a long time ago.”

“And why did you do that?”

“I dunno. I wanted to get stronger…”

“Go on.”

Ka-tunk.

I heard a noise. Aoba stared at me.

I… I… I pretended I didn’t hear that.

Aoba let out a short sigh, dragged her carry-on bag, and moved in the direction of the noise.

Ka-tunk!

The next sound was heavy, and reverberated in my stomach, like a bowling ball being dropped. To my dismay, it was loud enough to pinpoint the house.

Aagh! I chased after Aoba.

Aoba was already standing in front of the house which seemed to be the source of the sound.

“Why did you follow me?”

“Well, I was worried…”

“I can open it on my own.”

Aoba put her hand on the doorknob, and it opened easily even though all fifteen houses before this one that we had entered were locked.

We broke in. The living room had no abnormalities. Neither did the kitchen, and the shower room was clear as well.

As I walked up the stairs to the second floor and approached the door to what seemed to be a bedroom, a voice rang out from inside the room.

“Hey, president. What are we gonna do with this? You can’t cut it properly with a saw!”

“That’s what I said, vice-president. If you’re gonna dismember it, freeze the body first.”

“Kahaha! It’s frozen tuna! Exciting.”

“Look at it. All slimy with blood. So slimy!”

“I don’t have any sympathy for you. It’s your fault for not listening to my advice.”

“It’s too slimy! It looks like an eel! This will definitely traumatize me and I’ll develop a fetish for it!”

“Just shut up and cut it off!”

“Kahaha, okay! We’re amputating the limbs! So exciting!”

I was horrified. Those were the voices of children. It was changing with puberty, but it was still a high-pitched voice. Judging from the conversation that the kids were having, it seemed they were cutting up the body.

I remembered the “ka-tunk” sound I had heard earlier. Which parts had been cut off?

“We need to go.” I said. “We’ve reached our limit, we need to get out.”

“But…” “What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean ‘but?’ There’s nothing we can do…”

“That's right!” The door opened, and a boy in a school uniform appeared. “You can’t save the dead. All you have to do is look into the locked room.”

11

“In games, manga, and novels, you always see scenes where people talk in front of a corpse, but that’s not realistic. They disregard the corpse. Such a feat is impossible unless you’re a pro. So, we’re gonna talk about corpses in a place where there are none.”

We were in the living room on the first floor. There was a luxurious carpet, a vintage sofa, replicas of Mucha's paintings hanging on the walls, and antique teacups and sugar jars on the large table.

In this European looking room, a middle school boy who seemed to be the leader of the group was chatting away. His middle school uniform and cap passed the line of vintage and right into cosplay.

Sitting next to him was a large boy who was also dressed, but he was carrying a tin of cookies and munching on them, making him look like a mess like Gorilla-Imo from The Gutsy Frog.

The other kid was a girl in a sailor uniform, preparing tea. "Ehehe. Please, ladies and gentlemen. Have some Darjeeling tea! I think that’s what it is, at least!" The girl placed the tea in front of me.

“Beer.”

“Wha?”

“Shouldn’t there be some beer in the fridge?” I said as assertively as possible.

“Oh, right! You’re definitely not underage, so I’ll bring it right away! I love doing what people tell me!”

“A tomboy, huh? People these days, you’d think it would be hard being so overequipped.”

In this chaotic living room, Aoba drank the tea that had been served to her, her recovery was quick as hell as ever.

“By the way, I’m amazed you survived all that,” the boy said. “You don’t look like the ‘extraordinary’ person I was in contact with…”

I couldn’t respond, I’ve never been called “extraordinary” before.

“Say, have you ever heard the saying, ‘The world is made up of locked rooms?’”

I couldn’t respond to that either, because obviously the world isn’t made up of locked rooms.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, sir!”

The label on the bottle of beer the girl brought over said Pilsner Urquell. I wanted something like Sapporo or Kinmugi instead, but beggars can’t be choosers.

I gulped down the beer in one swig. Oh well, I’ll get through this with the power of drinking.

“Listen, I’m an adult. Uh, basically, I don't care to listen to the ramblings of a kid.”

“So you’re ashamed.”

“Would you guys happen to be working with Byakuya Togami?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Just a guess.”

“Of course,” the boy nodded. “Inference. Conjecture. Deduction. This isn’t a time that calls for synonyms of ‘surmising.’ Even a monkey could make guesses like that.”

“...........”

“Even so, I commend you for bringing up Byakuya Togami, in this atmosphere, at this time. We are, to be precise, students of Hope's Peak.”

What did he just say? Hope’s Peak?

“Woosh!” “Kaboom!” “Pow!” The three students jumped onto the sofa and struck some slightly old-fashioned poses.

“In the name of the moonlight and its message of undying love, I am the club president! Also known as the Super Junior High Level Mystory Maniac!”

“I’m not looking at spoilers for nothin’. I’m the vice-president of course! Also known as the Super Junior High Level Mystory Fan!”

“No way. I'm… well… I’m just an ordinary keeper who’s actually not that interested in mystories!”

“We three live for mystory!” “We’ll risk it all just to face it!” "That’s why we’re the–”

“–Hope’s Peak Junior Academy Mystory Research Club!”

Hmm, this is… very expected from liberal arts students. Everyone’s movements were a bit off, but they seemed proud, and were breaking out in a refreshing sweat. They were giving off a slightly youthful vibe.

I watched all of it.

“Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!”

And I bursted into laughter.

12

Hope’s Peak Academy.

This government-funded academy is only open to high school students with special talents, and relies entirely on scouting its students. While there are affiliate schools, none of them actually allow students to advance to higher education, and there is always the wall of scouting standing in the way.

Even so, if you do well at an affiliated school, you are more likely to catch the eye of a scout. The curriculum includes efficient ways to find and effectively bring out talents, and some students “awaken to their talents” through interactions with the main school.

But, most students don’t get into the main school. Most students just go to regular high schools after graduating from the affiliate school.

Similarly, Hope’s Peak Academy also has a system called the reserve course, which is separate from the affiliated school, but I’m not even going give it the respect of laughing at it. Everyone knows that place where you pay big money to get into with the Hope’s Peak Academy name tag is actually the “trash course.”

And to me, affiliate schools and the reserve course are basically the same. It’s not about talent. It never was about talent. They’re no different from moles like me.

That’s why I laughed it off. Don’t be arrogant and walk outside like you actually mean something.

13

The students from the affiliate school were confused by my laughter.

“Jeez, our customer has gone crazy~!” The girl who introduced herself as a keeper said.

“Do you think he’s laughing at us?”

“Yes, he is. And he’s laughing with passion and tenacity.”

“Bahahahahaha!” I laughed confidently, probably thanks to the alcohol. “I almost choked. What the hell are you on about with that ‘we are students of Hope’s Peak’ speech? It’s just an affiliate school. It’s no different from that reserve course.”

“I don’t believe it,” said the big kid who introduced himself as the vice-president. “Don’t group us with the trash course.”

“It’s the same either way. You yearn for hope, but you can’t become hope.”

“That may be true for the trash course, but…”

“Did you know that the number of affiliate school students who get into ordinary schools is greater than the number of students scouted by the main course?”

“Sure. but affiliated schools have a lot of people who are like Hope’s Peak Academy students. People like the Super Elementary School Homeroom or the Super Junior High Level Tea Ceremony Club Member…”

“That’s enough.” The boy who called himself the club president stopped him from making excuses. “Since we’re not students of the main course and we're just newbies from an affiliated school, whatever we say has zero persuasive power.”

“But it makes me angry! I hate having our talents dismissed by someone like that.”

“Vice-president, don’t forget that even without entering the main course, we’re still showing off our talents to the world!”

“What’s that?” I pursued, finding what the president said interesting. “So is this just a fit of despair because you realized they couldn’t get into the main course? You call that a talent?”

What a stupid thought. It’s the same as a self proclaimed artist smashing a Picasso painting and shouting, “I did it!” It’s no different from a dissatisfied person whose life sucks going out of their way to read the despair novel to get the despair disease before going wild.

“You’re very precise with your mean words. You must have been dominated by inferiority complexes for a long time,” the club president pointed out. “Can I ask you a question too?”

“What is it?”

“How old are you?”

“…I haven’t gone through three cycles of the zodiac yet.” I thought I'd come up with a clever response, but then I realized it wasn’t that great and now I feel embarrassed.

Stop it. Don’t talk about age. In the end, my attack was like a high school graduate who lost to society looking down on a prep school student… No, it was just looking down on someone from below and making fun of them. The moment I got serious, I became just another cranky old man. A mole who abandoned talent.

“Hehehe…” Laughter echoed through the living room. The beautiful girl quietly put down her teacup. “Shall we get back to the main topic?” Aoba said with a smile. “The students from the affiliate school are engaged in terrorist activities. Hope’s Peak didn’t send you, did they?”

“Of course they didn’t. Hope’s Peak Academy loves hope, so there’s no way they would encourage despair.”

“Then why are you doing this? Why divert down the wrong path?”

“I want you to call it a split. Factions are born everywhere. Factions are always radical and unpopular, but eventually they become the right path. Just like the history of mysteries.”

“What’s your relationship with Byakuya Togami?”

“He’s our senior and the one in charge. However, we’re not interested in that kind of world domination. Just like there are countless definitions of mystory, there're countless types of world domination. The contents and clothes of each person are different as they say. For us, the Mystory Research Club, if we can spread salvation to the whole world, then that’s enough for us.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m not interested in the world’s understanding. I’m not interested in anything other than the path I believe in. This is also like the history of mysteries.”

“I’ve been wondering for a while now, what do you mean by mystory?’”

“Wha?” “The?” “Huh?” Everyone in the Mystory Research Club at Hope’s Peak Academy Junior High School was frozen in place.

“It’s about mystery novels,” I add. “I think the Mystory Research Club is a mystery novel club.”

“But why do they say ‘mystory’ instead of ‘mystery?’”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s an aesthetic thing?”

“That sounds like a lot of work.”

“Have you seen the corpses?” the president says in a low voice. “Have you seen the bodies we put our heart and soul into?”

“You say that like it’s rice you made. I saw.”

“Did you notice the similarities?”

“What similarities?”

The tired president sighed. “It’s a metaphor! A metaphor! Like a dry landscape garden that uses stones and sand to represent water. You must at least know about The Inugami Family.”

“Have you read it, mister?”

“I’ve read The Thibaults,” I answered. “That explanation gave me the general idea. The bodies were decorated to resemble the crimes of Genocider Syo and Jack the Stabber.”

“It’s not just real-life incidents we based our work on. Did you notice the likeness to mystery novels?”

“Hmm.”

“I’ll give you a special spoiler. The corpse with a Japanese sword stuck in its chest is a reference to the corpse from the murder at the Takeda Haunted Mansion. The corpse in the wedding dress with its limbs cut off is a reference to Subete ga F ni Naru…”

“Hmmm.”

“You didn’t know?”

“Didn’t they make an anime or a TV drama about that before?”

“Let’s change the topic.”

“Pretty sure Salinger never approved of his works being adapted,” I pointed out.

“Sorry!” The president held his head in his hands. “Oh my gosh, what a disaster! What a tragedy! How did it come to this…”

“President, hold on, hold on. It’s just winter.” The keeper seems to be having fun for some reason. “So, come with me and talk about love in this freezing cold season.”

“I think that mystory, once at the height of its glory, is now in the middle of an ice age.”

“Because it was an industry that wasn’t used to winning, it didn’t have the tech to sustain its dominance in the medium.”

“Keeper, whose side are you on?”

“I’m on your side, president! I’m gonna take off my sports bra now, so please forgive me. Mmmph!”

“I don’t think mystory lost or perished, but rather fulfilled its purpose. It spread like a seed and permeated every genre and every culture.”

“Well, president, thanks to that, people like me came about. I only read while playing games, but even so I was able to come into contact with mystories thanks to the nourishment of your beloved books. So come on, cheer up!”

“I’m grateful.”

“If you’re depressed, Operation Lock Up the World won’t move forward. Locking this boring world in a locked room and filling this meaningless world with meaningful deaths can’t continue without you!”

14

“Wait, so that’s your motive here?”

“That’s correct.” The president looked up, as if regaining his composure. “We’re killing people in order to fulfill Operation Lock Up the World and turn the world into one big locked room.”

I see, no wonder I didn’t understand. I was relieved to find out they didn’t make sense. It felt better knowing now that these kids and I were different.

“Of course, I don’t expect you to understand,” the president continued. “It’s not a very common sensibility to find beauty in the ritual of recreating every crime, every mystory, every locked room, and placing a corpse there.”

“Just in case, do you have any symptoms?”

“You’re a maniac only if you're aware of your own insanity.”

“All insane people are maniacs.”

“And all maniacs get excited when people call them insane.”

“Is Byakuya Togami also a mystory maniac?”

“Nope, Mr. Togami is just an investor. He provided us with enough funds and personnel to complete Operation Lock Up the World for his own world domination. And it’s not just in this town. By now Operation Lock Up the World is probably being carried out simultaneously all over the globe.”

It didn’t make sense, but that’s fine. Everyone can do what they want, with their own opinions and their own talents.

But there was just one thing I just couldn’t stand. Let me repeat: I reeeeeeally don’t give a damn about world domination. Even if Byakuya Togami were to try his hand at world domination as a result of fully demonstrating his talent as the Super High School Level Heir, I wouldn’t like it.

Because at the end of the day it’s a different direction. This isn’t the outside I want.

“You’re probably happy to have been at today’s pre-party,” the club president said. “Now, I think it’s time to add some color to your grey lives.”

“A-are you going to kill us?”

“What kind of locked room do you want to die in? Do you have a favorite trick?”

“Why would I have one…?”

“Don’t be angry. Have no fear. All I’m saying is that I'm going to replace a meaningless life where you just die with a meaningful death in a locked room. I’m happy to…”

“Ooooooooooh! I got it” The one who let out a roar was the vice-president, who hadn’t really said anything for a while. He spat out cookie crumbs from his mouth and pointed at Aoba with his fingers, which were also covered in cookie crumbs.

“Please be quiet, vice-president,” the president warned, of course, “I’ve been explaining this and that to you about the setup, and I’m now finally threatening you at the most critical moment.”

“No, that’s not important.”

“What are you calling not important?”

“I finally remembered.” The vice-president looked at Aoba. “Hey, are you Satomi Aoba?”

“How do you know her name?” I interrogated, surprised.

“Hey! What’s with that reaction? You’ve been with me all this time without knowing a thing?”

“A thing? What thing?”

“Satomi Aoba! She’s an idol!”

When the vice-president spoke, the name of an idol group that every Japanese person knows popped into my head. And the person at its center:

Sayaka Maizono.

The reason why I, a newbie at the world, know this person so well is not because of her beauty or fame, but because of her talent. Sayaka was the Super High School Level Idol and enrolled at Hope’s Peak Academy.

So does that mean… Aoba was a member of that group? Does this mean I’ve been walking with an idol this whole time? What kind of development is that…?

“Wooooow, amaaaaaaazing!” The vice-president seems impressed. “I mean, why is Satomi Aoba of all people here? Are you on location for some kind of shoot? Are you taking pictures for a promo? Can I get your autograph?”

“Hehehe.” Aoba just chuckled.

“Yippee Ki Yay!” The vice-president seemed to take that as a yes. “Hey, boss, give me some paper you don’t need. Can I tear up that book you always carry around?”

“Do you think that little of someone else’s rare book?”

“You’re so stingy. If there were no pages, it would be more mysterious and it would be way better.”

“Wow, what a real nice thing to say.”

“I like your position,” the vice-president  said in a good mood. “The public is all about Sayaka Maizono, and the stans are rooting for Ayaka Haneyama, but they don’t get it like I do.”

“So you’re actually an idol fan?” The president was dumbfounded.

“With Sayaka Maizono in the center, the five of you appear on stage.” The vice-president didn’t stop. “Numbers 2 and 3 will be on either side of Sayaka Maizono. Ayaka Haneyama will stand on the far right, and Satomi Aoba on the far left. These are the usual positions, you get it? It’s actually a safe bet to root for Ayaka Haneyama, who is the least popular around here.”

“You’re way more passionate about this than mystory!”

“Hey, president, saying something like ‘I like Yutaka Maya’ instead of ‘I like Kotaro Isaka’ makes it sound more like you know more about mystories. Kids who pretend to love carrots because its in their curry are annoying, right?”

“I don’t really get the latter analogy.”

“People who support Ayaka Haneyama are promoting themselves as ‘I'm a huge fan of Ayakanegon, the ugly underdog, so I’m so cool!’ At the same time, they feel relieved by that stance.”

“Whatever, but don’t forget to follow Isaka. I don’t think it’s a joke…”

“Being a fan of Sayaka Maizono or Ayaka Haneyama is the same thing from my perspective. I think it’s important for the industry today to focus on Satomi Aoba, who is number 4, rather than number 1 or number 5. Even though she’s not bad looking or bad at singing, we never focus on Satomi Aoba, who is somehow number 4.”

Even though I have no knowledge of the idol group, his explanation was accurate enough for me to understand Aoba’s current situation. In other words, Aoba was hurt.

And yet her expression never changed, she kept smiling. Is it because she’s a professional? Is it pride? Is she just used to pigs shit talking about her?

If so, then she’s with me. We’re together on this.

I’ve been hurt by the swindlers that are rampant in this world, the fakes who act big on the outside even though they have no talent. Talentless hacks telling me, “You have no talent.”

Hell they’re organizing this “Operation Lock Up the World” thing which is exactly what a person with zero talent would do, and they’re desperately trying to stand out on the outside for some reason.

I can’t stand to have those swindlers speak more about talent.

Talent.

Fuck talent!

These affiliate school brats refuse to admit that they have no talent, and now they’re all paying attention to Aoba as if the mole didn’t matter.

I took a deep breath and secretly wiped the sweat from my palms. My fingers were trembling. I had a headache, probably due to the tension. My head had never experienced success, and images of failure and defeat ran through my mind. I didn’t feel like I could win. I didn’t feel like I could do well.

But I was going to do it, goddamn it. 

I put my hand on the table and flipped it over in one go. Teacups, plates, spoons, and sugar bowls all flew into the air and pounced on the talentless middle schoolers.

Now!

I grabbed Aoba’s hand, it was cold but soft.

“Come on, we’re going. Together.”

With that, I gripped Aoba’s hand and broke through the glass of the living room window. I rushed outside, showered with glass, and passed through the garden and onto the street.

I got into the car and stomped on the accelerator, causing the car to accelerate in one go. We set off. We were able to escape.

The scenery flew by, passing the deserted town.

No, that wasn’t it… There are dead bodies in every house that can be seen from here, and people locked away in sealed rooms. All these people nonsensically had their lives taken away. But we just barely escaped that nonsense and survived.

“Hey mister,” Aoba finally spoke. “That was kinda cool of you.”

Yeah, I agree.