#i want to be able to see but i cant shower with the lights on anymore

[arolesbianism]

I've been thinking abt new game+ friend quests and it's just me going ah yes and they have all these issues and talk abt these things and oh oops this is all accidental foreshadowing

[josephquinnswhore]

disarmed - joel miller x female reader.

Summary: you’ve been travelling with Joel for months, harbouring feelings for one another. Tommy helps the two of them realise how they feel.

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: mutual pining, fluff, mentioned a few times that joel is still grieving Sarah, jealousy, possession, age gap. Joel is in his forties and reader mid-twenties. Post outbreak fic. Reader had some dirty thoughts about joel.

Note: I’ve been awol for three months. Hello friends!! @katiexpunk Part two > testament to you.

"Ain’t gonna give up on me are ya?"

Joel calls out, checking over his shoulder to see if you're still behind him. You two have been travelling for hours, with the crunch of your boots against the snow that began to fall on the previous evening—the first official day of winter. They needed to reach Jackson before a mound of snow covered the area, or otherwise they would never know how long they would be there in this endless stretch of open space. With the possibilities of being stuck in a snowstorm, it dawned on them; the pressure to get to their destination.

Joel's crooked, uneven, scowling facade did nothing to keep you out or to halt your innate desire to preserve yourself by desperately attempting to make a connection with him, but for some reason, you had managed to accomplish what no one else could.

Make him feel affection, which of course, came with the pure unbridled fear at the thought of something happening to you. A fear he had not felt since..

“Not long to go now,” he murmurs, trying not to think about his past, his voice softening as he waits for you to catch up, he can see you are making the effort to keep up, your legs picking up their stride in an attempt to match his pace. Even so, at this rate they wouldn’t make it to Jackson before nightfall.

The weary look you give does nothing to comfort him either, internally, he cant stop any thought about you, wanting to know what you were thinking, what you were feeling, other than the pure exhaustion he could feel radiating from your pained expression and lame movements.

They were nearly at Jackson, to Tommy, after months of travelling and struggling for food, fighting against raiders and infected, Joel had made it his personal mission to keep you safe, to get you to Jackson. They had to make it today, before the sun fell, they were struggling for rations, between them, they had a can of baked beans left, two decades old and barely edible, it's clear to Joel that you’re losing hope.

���I know, not long, right?” You manage to reply after a few moments of thinking to yourself. The two of you had been surviving on scraps for weeks, you couldn't remember what it was like to eat a proper meal. For your stomach not to grumble and ache in hunger.

“When we get to Jackson they’ll have a bed for us, a real bed, probably a proper shower too, an’ food. Somethin’ for us to look forward to.” He glances your way, attempting to lift your spirits.

A crack of a smile stretches your lips, thinking about hot water, a real warm meal. “I don't remember the last time I had a real shower.”

“You’ll be able to finally wash that grease out of your hair too,” he mutters under his breath with a cheeky grin. He could only wonder how bad the two of them must smell at this point. Hes probably grown accustomed to the smell of his own putrid stench. A mix of grease, gunpowder, blood, dirt and body odour. You never complained though.

“Like you can talk, the stench coming from you is foul, old man.” A playful jest comes from you, one that makes joel smile, before feigning offence, he brings his hand to his chest as he scoffs. “Like you're any better.”

His lips turn into a genuine smile as the two of them share a light hearted moment, something that feels like it had been weeks since had happened – he can't help but admit to himself that.. it feels nice. That he enjoys seeing this side of you, that he could be the one to make you happy.

The playful smile on your face slowly slips into the same tight line it had been for weeks on end. The monotonous expression Joel had become so accustomed to.

“Whats on your mind? Somethin’ botherin’ you?” Joel asked, sensing that something was off with you.

“Hm? Oh, no I'm good, just get stuck in my head sometimes I guess.” You manage to excuse yourself.

He knew very well what that was like, he himself spent a lot of time stuck in his head, they were more alike than he had anticipated. “That’s alright, I understand.” He reassures her.

You can't help the way you feel something for him, noting the way his hazel eyes always softened when he looked at you, his voice soft. But the constant fear nagged you, about the age gap, he was in his forties, and you only in your mid twenties. Did he see you as a kid? Did he see you as a woman?

Joel always tried to remind himself that you weren't a little girl, even with the evident age gap between the two, he still saw you as a capable, beautiful woman. He couldn't deny the way he felt when he was the one to make you laugh, those beautiful eyes of yours and how expressive they were. He couldn't deny he felt something for you, which puzzled him, it was a feeling he thought he would never experience.

The snow begins to fall heavier, and with how long they had to go to Jackson, Joel knew it would be best if they stopped for the night, to try and find some shelter for them, for her. As if an otherworldly god hears their thoughts, a small cabin comes into the near distance. You hope wordlessly that Joel would offer to stop for the evening. If not, begrudgingly for a few hours, at least.

He motions for you to follow him, in the direction of the cabin. “That looks like a safe place to camp for the night, whaddya think?” To Joel, this was an easy decision, he was tired of seeing you shiver when you camped outside, clutching to the sleeping bag for a sliver of warmth, the thin material never did much to sooth your chattering teeth. He doesn't want you sleeping outside ever again, if he had any say over the matter.

“You think it’s safe?” Your eyes scan the area, it looks abandoned.

Joel nods as he cracks open the door, scowling as the door creaks open loudly. He leads the way inside the empty cabin, he does a quick scan of the place before he steps inside, out of the snow. Its a fraction warmer inside, something you can appreciate as you close the door behind you.

“Stay close.” He whispers, keeping an eye out, the cabin was clear after searching for a few minutes, it’s a small area, a broken lounge in the same living space as the kitchen. The floorboards in the corner are starting to rot due to a leak in the roof, some of the snow falling through to the inside of the cabin. “Looks like we're all good in here, I’ll look around and see what I can find, we’ll sleep here for the evenin’.”

You shrug off the heavy pack that had been clinging in the same sore spot for hours on end, shoulders aching dully as you roll them, reaching your hands back to massage the sore spots. Your fingers are cold and stiff as you unclip your sleeping bag from your pack, setting it up in the small kitchen area, away from the corner that has a small leak in the roof.

“This place ain't so bad, better than most places we been sleepin’.” Before Joel can relax, he eyes a bookcase, it's large enough to cover the front door, with one push it topples over, with a grunt, the bookshelf falls securely over the front door, keeping them safe inside.

You look around a little in the kitchen, seeing some old trinkets covered in a thick layer of dust, a windchime, it creates a beautiful twinkle as your fingers caress the cold material, clanging against each other. Going through the draws, you have a look at a faded image, picking it up to inspect it, your heart drops, the image depicts a young family, two parents and a small baby, all smiling into the camera, in this very kitchen where you stood now.

You can’t help but wonder how long ago they resided here. If they were still alive.

“Must’ve been a family’s cabin…” His eyes glance at the photo as he leans down to rummage through the cupboards, finding a few cans of veggies that had been left behind, he sets it down on the bench next to you. “We made out pretty good on food this time. Are you hungry?”

Shakily, you return the photo back to where you found it. “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

“You okay?” He asks, sensing the uneasiness in your voice. He grabs the tin cans of food and skillfully pops the lids open with his knife, handing a can of food to her. He nods towards their sleeping bags and they both sit down on the floor, he can't ignore the ache in his back and knees as he stretches his legs out on the floor. He tried not to think about it, sitting here with you on the hardwood floors eating out of a two decade old can of veggies was nothing worth complaining about, compared to the hell you two had endured over the months.

They were together at least. They made it this far.

“Yeah, I guess. Just doesn't get easier, you know? Thinking about it. They had a baby.” Hesitantly, you start eating with Joel, who seems silent.

He eventually nods in agreement. “Not everyone makes it.” He speaks quietly, even after all this time, he still mourns, he's been reminded of his loss time and time again, the image of the family was no exception.

They eat in silence, and you set the empty can beside your sleeping bag, sighing as you snuggle into the little warmth it provides. “Try and get some rest, we’ll head out at first light.”

“Goodnight Joel.”

He watches you settle, a small grunt escapes him as he keeps his rifle close, he leans against the wall. “Goodnight darlin’.”

“I'm sorry about your daughter Joel.” You whisper, before sparing him a glance and rolling over away from him. Joel watched you, the words pierce him, memories of his daughter haunt him, but he can't blame you. “Yeah, me too.” He mutters under his breath.

Joel stays awake, he's too restless to sleep at the thought of Sarah, losing her, relieving the pain and anguish of twenty years without her. Yet, the pain was as palpable as it was the night it happened.

The sun rises, and Joel rolls his sleeping bag, clipping it onto his pack. He notices you stirring awake. “Mornin’.” He grumbles tiredly. He stretches his neck, a loud crunch fills the air. “We should get goin’. I want to get to Jackson before midday.” He groaned as he stood, his knees clicking into place, worn and aching, the cold didn't help.

You wipe the sleep from your eye and pack the sleeping bag up quickly, not wanting to make Joel wait, he seemed pretty restless. Joel shoves the bookshelf off the door, opening it and takes a weary step outside into the daylight. He couldn't wait to see Tommy, he couldn't stop thinking about a shower, and a decent meal. They had been surviving in the wilderness for so long, Joel wasn't sure what he would do being back in civilization.

You pause in the doorway, watching Joel walk outside, his worn boots crunching in the fresh snow. “Just.. just wait a sec.” You wearily call out to him, looking back inside the cabin.

“What is it?” Joel asked, stopping in his tracks, turning to look back at you, a confused look on his face. You take a few quickened steps back into the cabin, pulling the drawer out to find the photograph of the family, before rushing outside to meet Joel. “Someone should remember them.”

Joel looks between you and the cabin, wondering what on earth you were doing. “Whaddya mean?” He asked, his voice gruff and full of confusion. He stands there for what felt like forever, watching as you return with the faded photograph in your hand. He stared at you for a moment, his expression unreadable.

You shove the photograph into the back pocket of your jeans. “Ready to go?”

Joel looks at you, a serious expression on his weathered face. “Yeah.” He motions for you to continue walking, he tries to push behind the thought of the family as they walk from the cabin. For some reason, there was a warmth in his chest, at your actions, something so miniscule could show the kind of person you were. Perhaps not all hope was lost with someone so compassionate like you left in the world.

It was relatively quiet between the two of you for the rest of the trip, only a few miles, the snowfall had come to a halt overnight, so the snow wasn't much of an obstacle, being so far away from any town, there were near to no infected, nor other people.

Finally, ahead, there it was. They had finally made it to Jackson, to Tommy.

“Shit. This is Jackson?” You ask in wonder, taking in the heavily fortified walls, the men patrolling on the walls with rifles. A haven.

“Sure as hell looks like it.” Joel felt himself finally relax, for the first time in months, even if only for a moment, they had made it. “C’mon, we can get inside before the snow starts comin’ down again.” He picks up his pace towards the gate.

“Are you sure they'll let us in?” You knew Tommy was here, but the anxiety of being turned away was palpable. Joel glances back, reassuring you with a small smile. “Dont worry darlin’, Tommy knows we’re comin’.”

The gates open, and the hinges whine in protest.

“Joel, you ugly bastard is it really you?” A southern voice calls out, as the gate opens, and you watch as a man embraces Joel, similar in looks, if anything, less grey hair. “The hell took you so long?” The man asked, a joyous tone in his voice as he embraced Joel.

“Yeah, were not easy but we made it.” Joel huffed out a laugh. Tommy waves his hand, a brief gesture for the pair to follow him inside. Tommy looks over Joel’s shoulder as they walk. “Who’s this?”

You stand behind Joel, a meek smile on your lips as you introduce yourself. Tommy smirks at Joel. Joel's face reddened, his younger brother’s stare made him heat up.

“Just get us set up Tommy.” Joel muttered, avoiding the amused gaze from his brother. Tommy’s wolfish grin doesn't slip. “Sure thing, follow me.”

The odd interaction does not go missed as you watch the pair, following them to a house that Tommy had organised specifically for Joel. Tommy lets them into the house to look around and Joel speaks up. “We've been out in the wild for a long while, and we're happy to finally be able to settle down for a bit.” Joel explains, looking at Tommy.

“I can imagine. Well, i'll leave ya alone to settle in for now. Were havin’ a get together later tonight at the hall, you should come. It’ll be good for you to spend some time away from each other for a bit.” Tommy jests.

You look between the two men, confused. “So where am I going to be staying?” You knew that Joel would probably want to be away from you, now that he had done his part in bringing you here safely.

Joel's head snapped in your direction and he stared at you for a moment. “With me.” He said, a little too quickly. “You'll be staying with me, here.” Joel’s eyes dart back to Tommy as if he was warning him against some smart arsed response. He looked a little embarrassed.

It didn't take an idiot to notice the glance you and Joel shared. Tommy smiled ear to ear as he watched the interaction between you two. “Alright.. Well you two can get settled here. Holler at me if you need anything, alright?”

As Joel nods, Tommy steps outside the house, leaving the pair alone again. Setting your pack down, you admire the house. “Nice place..”

Joel hums, nodding in agreement, setting his pack down next to your own. “Its alot nicer than where we've been campin’. And there's electricity.” Looking at the light Tommy had flickered on when he walked in.

“You mean we can shower?” Joel grins in amusement at your sudden excitement. “Hot water and all princess, why don't you go on and have the first shower?” The bathroom itself was simple, but it felt surreal to have electricity and running water.

“Are you sure?” Joel nods, “I can wait, its all yours.”

Joel closes the bathroom door behind you, and explores the bedroom, ruffling through the closet as he decides what to wear to this stupid get together tonight.

The hot water feels incredible, soothing the aches in your body, as you lather the vanilla scented soap, spreading the suds to wash the grime off your body. The colour of the water that runs down the drain is appalling, dark brown from grease and dirt. The shampoo is fruity, and a divine smelling scent you hadn't ever smelt in your lifetime. Lathering the clear concoction, you take your time to scrub the grease and disgusting things that stick to your strands of hair and scalp.

Its almost painful to shut the water off, but you know that Joel deserves to experience the hot water too, stepping out, you run your hand over the fogged up mirror, and hardly recognise yourself.

You slip on the clothes that had been provided for you, dark wash jeans and a long sleeved, tight fitting brown shirt. It accentuates your body shape wonderfully.

You look like a brand new woman as you emerge into the bedroom seeing Joel sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey.”

Joel looks up at you, his eyes widening as he takes in your form. You were even more beautiful than before, you looked radiant. He quickly stood, clearing his throat and he tried to keep his composure. “Hey darlin’.” He manages to utter out, his voice a little low.

Your cheeks warm under his intense gaze, hazel eyes roaming your body. “You gonna have a shower before we go?”

Joel glances down at himself, he now looked completely filthy compared to her, realisation sinking in.

“Y-yeah I think I will.. I can wash up in a minute.” As he looks back up at you, he notices your lingering gaze on him.

Were you checking him out too?

The tension is broken as Joel walks to the bathroom, taking his turn for the shower. Your mind wonders as the water runs, wondering what Joel looks like under all those clothes, if the hairs on his chest travel all the way down his torso, wondering if his tanned skin is the same delicious colour all over. A soft groan echos through the bathroom, gartering your attention, ears perking at the wonderfully intimate noise.

Something inside of you tingles in excitement at the thought, it's a hard thought to squash as you put your boots on. Joel's hair was damp, slicked back, the greying strands on his temple looked lighter than ever. The green and red flannel shirt hugged his torso and arms snugly, the jeans looked a size too small, clinging to his thick muscular thighs. His hazel eyes stared down at you as you looked him over, admiring him, he cant quite read the expression on your face.

Now it was your turn to play it cool, clearing your throat. “Ready to go?” Joel was still trying to come out of his haze as he stared at you, still trying to process the way you were checking him out. “Y-yeah…” He muttered, rubbing his jaw. “Yeah, let's.. Let's go..”

The hall is set up nicely, small bulbs hang from the ceiling emit a full yellow hue, there's an old record player, with vinyls underneath the bench it’s set up on, the melody of an old song echos through the hall as they walk in together, they gain some looks, from people dancing, young and old. Joel is brought into another hug by Tommy as he greets them. “Hey, look at you!” Tommy grinned. “You clean up nice.”

You silently agree, Joel looked as handsome as ever.

Joel's face runs hot as he hears Tommy’s tease, turning a rosy pink across his cheeks. He quickly brushed it off, rubbing the back of his neck as he attempted to maintain his composure. “Shut it, Tommy…” Joel muttered. Tommy grinned as he watched his brother's reaction, his eyes then shifting to you. “And you… look beautiful tonight.”

Joel watches your reaction to his brother's compliment, seeing you squirm a little. “Thanks Tommy. So… what exactly is this?”

Tommys grin remained as he motioned for you both to follow. “It's a get together, we do them to blow off a little bit of steam every once in a while, you know how it is.” Joel grunts in annoyance, not enthralled by the idea of being social, nor in the judgemental gaze of the community folk.

Your eyes follow the couples as they dance to the music. A sense of yearning overcomes you, wishing it were you and Joel dancing so intimately. It's something Tommy notices.

“What, you want to dance, girl?” He asked, a mischievous grin on his lips. Joel's eyes widened as he tried to get his attention. “Tommy…” He muttered in warning, his voice a low grumble.

You didn't decline tommys suggestion. “You offerin’?” Perhaps, if anything, you would be lucky enough to make Joel jealous.

Tommy nods, taking you by the hand as he drags you to the makeshift dance floor, away from Joel. “Of course.”

Joel could feel the annoyance bubbling up inside him. He wouldn't admit that he was starting to become jealous at the sight of his brother dancing with you.

You and Tommy dance, occasionally sneaking glances at Joel, who still looked unimpressed by the situation. Tommy laughs whenever he sees Joel’s scowling face, enjoying winding his brother up. Tommy took his turn to tease you. “So… what's it like travelling with my grumpy ass brother?”

“He's not grumpy with me.” You answer simply. This, Tommy raises a brow at. “Oh really?” He glanced over her shoulder at his brother, who was now glowering at the pair. “Looks real grumpy to me..” He teased, letting out a small chuckle.

“Only cause you're pickin’ on him.” You counter.

“You're probably right.” It wasn't uncommon for Tommy to tease his older brother like this, the more he saw how annoyed Joel was becoming, the more he wanted to keep this up.

“I like him, alot.” You murmur between the two of you. Tommy’s teasing expression dies down, shifting to an expression of empathy. He was quiet in thought for a moment before he spoke. “I can tell…” he glances at joel. “He's got it bad for you too.”

“Thats a lie if I’ve ever heard it, Tommy Miller.” You scoff.

Tommy’s brows furrowed a little as he scoffs as your disbelief.”You can't seriously tell me you're that naive, it's obvious he likes you, girl.” Joel's gaze darkens, eyes fixated on them from across the hall.

“He doesn’t like me.”

“Have you seen the look on his face? He's got this…” Tommy gestured to his own face. “...stupid look on his face since we've been dancin’. And he's lookin’ like hes seconds away from murderin’ me.”

You shrug. “He's just protective of me.”

“And how do you two interact?” Tommy asked. “Like, he dont seem too fond of me touchin’ you.” Joel's eyes flicker down to the way his younger brother's hand held your waist.

“I’m guessin’ you got some kind of plan, then, to prove me wrong?”

Tommy’s face lit up when you say this. “What do you think, girl? Are you up for it?”

A groan leaves your lips. “What’re you thinkin’?”

Tommy smirks, gently and suddenly twirls you, bringing you flush to his chest, the action makes Joel scowl. “We’re gonna piss him off just enough for him to come over. Sound good?”

You don’t miss Joel's reaction, maybe it did mean something..

“Okay, let's see what you got.”

Tommy grins, he pulls you close to him, dipping his head down to your ear, whispering. “You tell me if he gets too annoyed for yer likin’... I don’t wanna cross no boundaries.”

Tommy is an impressive dancer, you admit, and as nice as it is to be spun around the dance floor, your mind wonders what it would be like to dance with Joel, how he would hold you, where he would place his hands, how firm his grip would be.

Tommy dips you, making sure to keep a tight grip around your waist, and his body as close to yours as he could manage without dropping you, Tommy leans in, his nose close to yours. “Bit dramatic don't you think?” You mutter, eyeing tommy. There was a chance Joel would kill Tommy for this, and Tommy leans in, as if he was intent on kissing you.

That was it for Joel, he reached his breaking point, watching as his younger brother's actions grew more bold and more suggestive. As soon as he saw how close you two were, how intimate that moment looked, he pushed his way through the dancefloor, barging people that were dancing to get to them. Tommy’s plan seemed to work, getting the reactive reaction out of Joel, your eyes widened as Tommy straightens you up, the older Miller brother approached them.

“Now you've done it.” You mumble.

“Oh no, what have I done?” Tommy teases. Before he could say anything else.. Joel yanks Tommy’s shoulder, separating him from you.

Joel lets out a low growl, pushing Tommy further away from you. “What’re you tryna pull, Tommy?”

“Whoa, whoa.” Tommy protests, shrugging his shoulder out of Joel's grasp. “I’m not pullin’ nothin’. I was dancin’ with the girl, is that a crime?” Joel grits his teeth together, trying to stop himself from punching his own brother.

“He wasn't doing anything Joel.” You murmur softly, trying to calm the man down, but it seems to only agitate Joel that you seemed to defend Tommy’s actions.

His nostrils flare as he looks at you. “You're takin’ his side then?”

“Hey, come on, it ain't like that.”

His irritation grows, did you really think this was okay? That this was just friendly dancing? “You really think he was just dancin’?” He mocked.

Your brows furrow as you sense Joel’s rising irritation towards you, this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. “Yes, that's exactly what I think.”

Joel lets out an annoyed huff, crossing his arms in front of his chest, this was not going the way he wanted. “He was all up on you and you think this is innocent? You’re more naive than I thought.” He sneers, a low grumble leaving his lips.

It hurts, hearing Joel talk to you like this, and you shove past them before he can see the tears welling in your eyes. Tommy stops Joel from chasing after you.

Joel lets out an annoyed huff, turning to look at him. “Get outta the way, Tommy.”

“She likes you, Joel.” Tommy said, his hand not leaving his older brother's chest, needing him to listen.

Joel rolls his eyes, not believing that statement for a moment. “No, she doesn’t. She was just humouring you.” He tries to push past Tommy again.

“It was my idea joel. I thought if I turned up the heat a little you'd show her you're sweet on her.”

“...what?” Joel's face flushed pink hearing that. “You.. you were just trying to…” When he realised that this little stunt was all an attempt to show that they liked each other, it surprised him, was it so obvious?

“You know I wouldn't dream of makin’ a move on yer girl. Go on now, get her and tell her how you feel before she runs off on ya.”

Joel stares at his brother for a moment as his words sank in. Once it did, he nodded, understanding now that this was an attempt to try and make Joel admit his feelings for you. He didn't say another word as he turned out of the hall, rushing back to the home where he knew you would be.

You felt humiliated by the entire thing, by Joel being angry at you, he had never looked at you with that look of unbridled anger. It was always directed towards other people, the ones that had tried to hurt you. Never you.

Joel’s footsteps are heavy, easily recognisable to you. As he makes his way to you, where you’re packing your things into your pack, tears streaming down your swollen cheeks.

He calls your name, and you don’t respond, shoving things angrily into your pack, you know he’s at the bedroom door, watching you.

His heart sinks as he watches you, he steps closer to you, reaching his hand out to touch your shoulder, in an attempt to stop you. “Stop.” He muttered softly. “Stop packin’ yer things.”

When you don’t listen, Joel takes the pack from your hand and tosses it across the room, your possessions all spilling out into the wooden floor. “What the hell is your problem?” You snap.

“Would you just stop it?” He exclaims, frustration evident in his tone. He grabs your arm, firmly enough to garner your attention. Spinning you to look at him. “Why are you doin’ this?”

“You humiliated me!” You quip, voice trembling.

He exhaled, the warmth of his breath fans on your cheeks. “Listen..” he muttered. “Whatever you thought happened, it was the complete opposite. Tommy told me the whole plan, he was.. tryin’ to make me admit somethin’ to myself.. to you.”

Your cheeks warm as you realise Tommy snitched. “..oh.”

His large hands reach out to cup your face, turning your face upright, so your gaze would meet his own. “I care about you a lot…” he spoke after a moment, his expression softening. “I know I’m not real good at showin’ it, but I really..”

“I really do like you, darlin’.”

You sputter a response. “Tommy.. was right?”

Joel nods, his expression growing bashful as he tries to hide his embarrassment with a small snort. “Yeah.. stupid bastard was right.” He runs a hand through his hair, trying not to stumble over his words. “Have done since I saved ya all them months ago.” He confessed.

His hand runs through his hair again, something you’ve picked up as an anxious tick of his. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

It was a question Joel hadn’t really thought of himself, until now. “It’s hard for me to be vulnerable..” he admits. “I’m just… not really like that.”

It certainly wasn’t the first time he had trouble opening up about his feelings, but he wanted you to understand that he wanted to try, with you.

“Especially with.. the way the world is now.. I thought I shouldn’t get myself tied up in somethin’ that could just get me hurt later.”

The words that went unspoken, you understood. He was afraid of losing you. And suddenly, her eyes softened. “What changed? Seein’ me with Tommy?”

It was an embarrassing truth, one that he had to face. “Yeah..” he agreed, glancing away from you a moment. “It felt like someone was just punchin’ me in the guts. Seein’ you dancin’ with him I felt..” he groans. “Jealous.”

Unintentionally, you bat your lashes at him. “I was so convinced you wouldn’t like me, I made such a fool of myself.”

His brows scrunch together as he realises how his actions made you feel. He gently takes your face in his large hands, his thumb rubs your cheek in a soothing motion.

“Hey, you didn’t do any of that…” he murmured. “If anything I shoulda told ya ages ago.”

With his reassurance, you wrap your arms around his midsection, fisting the soft material of his flannel on his back. He doesn’t resist, although he relaxes from his tense stance, bringing his own arms around you. “How about we start over an’ I’ll do this proper?”

Your eyes widen, looking up at him. “Proper?”

He couldn’t suppress the smile creeping onto his lips, your words make his heart flutter. “Y��know.. with you as my girl…” he murmurs nervously. “If.. if you’d like that?”

“I would like that.” You accept without hesitation, your voice soft as Joel leans his chin on your head, his thumb caressing your cheek.

“Don’t ever try an’ run off again. I’ll hog tie ya to the bed if I have ta.” A soft laugh leaves your lips at his threat, and you raise a brow.

“That right? Maybe I’ll take off one day, just to test you.” Joel’s eyebrows raise, a daring look in his eyes, arms tightening around you as he lifts you off the ground effortlessly, tossing you onto the plush bed.

“Yer mine now sweetheart, ain’t letting you go, ever.” He murmurs against your neck, hovering over you, pressing a small kiss to the soft skin of your temple.

“Mine till the day I die.” He growled possessively, the tender touch was a concise movement, one that contradicted his possession.

Somehow, you had disarmed him. And from now on, Joel wasn’t going to fight it.

[tojisth3rdwife]

“Bout time you answered the damn phone..”

You wrinkle your nose at the hint of attitude in Toji’s deep voice, finding it a little cute since you knew that just his personality.

With your phone tucked between your ear and shoulder, you continued working down the mountain of laundry in the basket on your living room floor.

“Uhm, rude?” you snort, tossing a freshly folded towel to join its appropriate pile before picking up another.

“What ever happened to ‘hello’ or ‘hey big booty’ ?”

“I reserve those types of greetings for girlfriends that pick up the first time I call.”

At that you roll your eyes, snatching up another towel.

“Girlfriends? So theres others?” you begin folding it. The faint sound of echoe’d music and a muffled voice requesting assistance in the frangrance department let you know Toji was out and about, more than likely at some convenience store.

The big nasty was probably restocking on condoms and that special brand of lube he used on you a while back. The one that resulted in you needing to change your bed sheets.

Twice.

“See, I could play your game and say there are others just to fuck with you....’xcuse me...” he pauses to say to an older woman he squeezed past in the aisle.

“...but you cant take a damn joke and I plan on getting some tonight.”

You pert your lips at the statement but dont argue. Even in the several months you and Toji became exclusive, it was true that his sense of humor surpassed yours when it came to him and other women. You werent nearly as possessive or jealous as he was (usually), but he knew better than to test it.

“Smart. Im glad you value your life. Talk to me nice.” you respond in the most brattish way, making your boyfriend chuckle dryly on the other end of the phone.

“Shut up. Anyway, what kind of soap do you use again? I vaguely remember what it looks like but theres 5 bottles that match what I see in my brain.”

“Soap? Like to wash my body?” you furrow your brow distractedly, continuing to fold clothes.

“Naw to wash your dog.” he tosses back sarcasticaly. If there was a camera crew in your house, you’d be glancing at them with a deadpanned look of annoyance.

You didnt have a dog.

“Would it be so hard just to answer a question? I swear I dont like you sometimes.” you mutter, flapping out the pair of pants you were about to fold and Toji’s smirk is as audidle as his snickering.

“But you love me all the time. Now stay focused. Soap. The kind you wash your ass with.”

You sigh in exasperation at the simple question. And it was for sure simple ,but as many times as Toji had been in your shower, sometimes with you, he should be able to know which damn soap you used.

Old ass..

“Dr.Bronner’s babe. Unscented..”

“The light blue one. See, I knew I remembered it.”

Toji snatches the largest bottle of pure castile soap from the shelves. His massive hand grasps it effortlessly as he made his way to another aisle, squinting at a display of electric shavers curiously.

“Well alright. Thats all I wanted. Carry on cheating or whatever you doing..”

You let out a loud breath, tossing the pair of pants aside.

“Why are you like this? That’s not funny, you know?”

“What?” Toji strolls leisurely down the shave aisle now, eyeing the array of products.

“You saying shit like that. Accusing me of cheating every time I don’t pick up or text back fast. Its irritating..” you huff, aggressively flapping out another pair of sweats that you immediately knew belonged to Toji.

“Is it?”

“Is it?” You mock him, balling up his oversized joggers scornfully and throwing them on the floor. God he was annoying. If he werent so fine, and tall, and big..

And fit.

And sexy.

And intimidating.

And..

What were we talking about?

A breathy chuckle vibrates against your ear, as well as the echoing *beep* of the cashiers growing louder, both yanking you off your tangent.

“Aww, mama. Don’t be like that. I only say it as a joke. I know you’d never cheat on me ‘cuz my dick’s too big.” Toji remarks all too casually, not even acknowledging the way an old man shoots him a disgustingly surprised look at his crudeness out loud as he walked past him.

You snort in amusement and shake your head.

“True. But don’t be so sure. Theres plenty of trees in the forest.” You remark cheekily, glad that you weren’t in front of him after saying that. Part of you wished you were though. Watching those pretty beady eyes of his shrink with his glare was equal parts scary and arousing. To your surprise, Toji finds your rebuttal funny enough to laugh.

“You must really want me to fold your ass like a futon, huh? Just wait, I’ll be by there later.”

Toji turns to get in line at a check out lane. A little girl standing with her mother behind him stares up at his back with wide eyes, probably never seeing a man of his size and stature. Ya boy was scraping at 6’3 barefoot, so in shoes he was surely around 6’4. Even you would find yourself gaping up at him when he stood in front of you.

“Yeah? What you gon do?

*beep*

Toji shuffles forward, the scarred corner of his mouth lifting into a smirk.

“Fold you like a futon. Duh. You want candy?” He quickly changes the subject distractedly, falling victim to the mini wall of chocolate bars and gum.

The threat makes your core flutter while his subtle way of always keeping you in mind had you biting down on your grin as you continued folding laundry.

“Nooo, Baby. I don’t want candy. Thank you though.” You giggle, rolling your eyes.

“Well dont ask for some of mine ‘cuz I aint sharing..” Toji grumbles, still picking up two candy bars.

“Mmhmm.”

Having folded the final article of clothing and setting it aside, you sink back into the couch cushions with a huff, lifting your hand to untuck your phone and hold it against your ear.

“So wait, thats why you were blowing me up? Over soap?”

“Basically. I wanted you to have your own for when you stay with me. I know you have sensitive skin and shit…” he responds before reciprocating the cashiers greeting as he set his items on the belt.

“Awwww DaddyBear, how considerate of you. I wanna kiss you now, instead of slapping your face”

“Youre too easy to impress woman. Its just soap. You leave shit at my apartment anyway so I figured you’d wanna have something to shower with too.”

“I know but it’s still sweet. Come over now so I kiss on you and touch your butt.”

Toji snorts at your antics, knowing damn well he wasn’t letting your hands go anywhere near his ass.

“Yeah yeah. I gotta swing by Shui’s to pick up some money then Im gonna head your way.”

“Ok. But wait, you still could have just texted me that. Why call and make a fuss?”

“Damn. Maybe I also just like hearing your whiny ass voice y’know?”

You sigh, your giddiness fading immediately.

“Just hurry up and come over, ass.”

“See? Can never take a joke.”

“Bye Toji.”

“See you later Big Booty..”

<call ended>

[chiiyuuvv]

[DAY 2] masterlist ᡣ𐭩 !

— " platonic sleepovers that end up in with you in their arms " ; one bed / vacation ft. half of riize

♡list : @lecheugo , @imthisclosetokms , @rizzkisworld , @hyvelxve , @starryriize

"Cant believe i have to room with you," wonbin shoots you a look as he jingles the key into the door knob, finally opening with some struggle to reveal your beautiful hotel room. The walls painted white with a tall, warm yellow lamp at the side to illuminate the space. Only problem was, there was only one bed.

Everyone became fully aware of this information once the recipient informed them, breaking into a circle to play rock, paper, scissors. Winner and loser would be paired up together to get that singular bed, while everyone else was able to decide who they wanted to sleep with.

You won, wonbin lost, his eyes rolling as he clicks his tongue. He wasnt annoyed like how he acted.. he actually didnt mind, knowing that hed be comfortable with you. But he loved teasing you, watching as your lips form into a straight line. "If this was a horror movie.. im kicking you off the bed so the monster would eat you first." Wonbins head falls back as he laughs at your words, watching as your arms cross.

"I'll drag you with me." He gives you a wink equipped with a smirk, before grabbing one of the towels that sat at the edge of the bed. "Im gonna shower first." He says over his shoulder, your head nodding in acknowledgment although he couldnt see you, jumping onto the bed to turn on the tv. "Yeah, okay." You say, your full attention on the screen. "Take your time."

.

"Look whos here.." you say as the bathroom door opens, a grin appearing onto wonbins lips, his hands busy drying his wet hair with a towel. "Miss me?" His lips pucker, throwing that towel in the hamper along with the clothes he wore in the morning. "Are you going to shower?" He askes, taking the opportunity to slide into the bed next to you, lifting the blanket so it could lay comfortably on his legs.

"No, i showered before i got here."

"Cool." He plays with his fingers. "Are you going to play something?"

"Yeah.. im just trying to find something good," wonbin nods his head out of the corner on your eyes, your lips licking into full concentration. He couldnt help but admire you in this state, his eyes darting to your figure and across the room so it doesnt seem obvious that he was staring, his hands scratching the back of his neck.

Anyone that walked by could notice wonbins tiny liking towards you, his laughs becoming more frequent whenever you opened your mouth, the small desire to spend the rest of the day with you, and the next.. and the next.

He didnt know why but he found you so captivating, wanting to get to know you more and more as the time pasted. So he was a little too happy when you were being paired, but calmed himself down so no one could notice his growing feelings, and more importantly so he wouldnt get teased by his friend group.

"Found a movie!" You exclaim, snapping him out of his thoughts. His head turns when he realizes hes been staring at you this entire time, his ears pink as he prays that you didnt notice. "Should i turn off the lights?" You ask, completely oblivious. Thank god.. he breathes the breath he doesnt even know he was holding, a quick nod leaving his head.

.

The movies been playing in the background yet wonbin hasnt paid any attention to it. Not because the movie was boring but because he couldnt stop staring at you, and he was getting a little sleepy. A long yawn leaves his lips, shifting into the bed to get comfortable.

"Tired?" You ask, turning down the volume of the television so the latter could hear you better. Wonbin shakes his head in agreement, his eyes widening when your hands lace into his silky hair, giving it a soft pat. And suddenly, he doesnt care anymore, his head leaning into your touch before resting against your arm so you could play with it more, his eyes getting heavy. "Is this okay?" You ask for consent, watching as wonbin lets out another yawn in response, his eyes finally closing, drifting off into sleepy land.

The next morning, a sleepy hum leaves his lips, his head buring deeper into your chest as you lazily stroke his hair, your legs tangled and his arms wrapped around your waist. "Aww, they look so cute." A voice says, along with a snap of a camera. A snap of a camera? Without thinking, wonbin shoots up, a shocked sungchan and eunseok standing over them.

"Well good morning lovebirds-"

"Sungchan. Delete that. Right. Now."

"Its hyung to you-"

"I SAID DELETE IT!"

[authorhjk1]

Surviving NNN

Part Two: Almost dead

You put on a loose pair of shorts and a grey shirt, before walking out of your room. It's four in the morning, so everyone is asleep. It's the only time of the day when you can run freely, without having to fear getting caught by crazy fans or the media. The three girls are still sleeping.

Walking out of your room, You head towards the counter to get yourself a glass of water. You do it as quiet as possible, not wanting to wake the sleeping Minju. Heading for the door of your apartment, you stop in your tracks as you stand next to the couch.

Minju is lying in front of it on the mattress. Her eyes are shut, her chest underneath the blanket is heaving and falling in a slow, steady rhythm. You cant help but look at her legs, remembering how she looked last night. The blanket must have moved over night. Her feet and her legs are comletely out in the open. You can see the smoothness of her skin in the light of the flashlight on your phone. Her full thighs look just as good as they did after she came out of the shower.

As your eyes follow her legs upwards, you realize that she barely wearing anything at all. Your breathing stops as you see that something red is peaking out from underneath the blanket. Her panties. You can see the hint of her cheeks, which seem as full as her thighs. A result of her dancing and working out.

You shake your head wildly, trying to clear your thoughts. You have to win this bet. Quickly walking past her, you take your keys from the small bowl Karina put next to the door.

The run does help. It helps getting rid of your situation in your pants, but not so much in your mind. What would've happened if you had taken the blanket to cover her up? You run faster, trying to get that thought out of your head, but it's already too late.

You see her move a little as you pull the blanket over her legs. As you are about to get up, Minju's eyes flatter open.

"Oppa?"

Her sleepy voice makes you hard as she smiles at you, her eyes half closed.

"M-Minju. I thought you might be cold."

She slowly shakes her head.

"Wile having the dream of my life? I don't think so."

"Oh. I apologize if I have woken you up"

Minju shakes her head.

"It's fine, Oppa. Sometimes reality is way better than a dream."

You don't really understand what she is talking about. But it dawns on you, when you stand up.

"Where are you going? You have to make it up to me." The sleepiness in her voice slowly fades, as she looks up at you.

"Make it up to you? Why?"

Lying on her back, Minji slowly pushes the blanket off of her. You try your best. You really do. But her words make you look.

"You left me all hot and bothered in my dream. Shouldn't you take responsibility?

Your eyes wonder over her body. Her face is as cute as it alway is. Her dark eyes seem even darker in the dim light of the moon outside. Complementing her red underwear is a red bra. It's simple, except for the small red bow at the front between her breasts. They aren't as big as Karina's, but then again, most idols can't compare with her.

Minju's shoulders and belly are exposed, showing more of her delicious looking skin. Her red panties are just the right mix of not showing too much and yet showing as much as posiible. If she would turn around, you would guess she is almost wearing a thong. But the place that now has most of your attention is her front.

Right underneath a small red bow, her panties are visibly darker. You can see the outlines of her lips underneath the thin fabric, inviting you to swipe your tongue across their length.

"D-Did you actually dream of me?"

Those are the only words you are able to say.

"I did. And if you are even half as big as in my dream..."

Her voice trails off as Minju's eyes wander to your shorts.

"I-I can't do this. I have a girlfriend."

"Does that mean we can't have a little fun? She isn't here anyways."

"It's not about her being here or not. It's the fact that Karina is my girlfriend."

It becomes harder and harder for you to resist.

"Oh please. You just like her because she has those big boobs. Those are not everything, you know?"

Minju lets a hand sneak towards her bra. She hooks her thumb underneath her right bra strap, before slowly pulling it off her shoulder.

"I might have a smaller chest. But my body has so much more to offer."

Her other hand glides over her midriff.

"Just do what you did in my dream and you will find out what heaven feels like."

"What did I do?"

A sly smirk plays around Minju's lips. She continues wit that seductive tone in her voice.

"I was lying just like this. And you were naked. Your dick was inside my pussy. You plowed my so hard that I felt it everywhere. You choked me as you got closer."

Minju stops for just a second to wrap one of her own hands around her throat.

"Just like this. And after you made me orgasm on your cock, you came in me."

Her other hand moves down to rub herself over the thin fabric.

"You came so much. I was never filled up so good before."

You finally reach your building. Unable to wait another second, you rush through the door to your apartment as soon as the elevator doors open. You don't even glance at Minju as you head for the bathroom. Opening the door, you get in.

A shower. A cold one. That will be the only way to stop this. You are almost about to cum without even touching yourself.

Your heart drops, when you realize you are not alone in the room. Standing in front of the mirror is Yena. Her pink hair wet from the shower she just took. Her toned body only wrapped in a towel. She is reaching upwards, trying to take something out of your cabinet. There is nothing in there that she could use. And yet, you almost have heart attack, as she gets on her tiptoes. Her towel rides higher an higher...

[cheriecoke]

hi! i just found your account and WOAH you’re so so talented!! i loved your sleepy cuddles with dazai and i wanted to request sleepy cuddles with chuuya maybe?🫶🫶 sorry about the red text, it suddenly changed my normal text to black on a black background so i cant see what i write unless i change the color 😫

sleepy cuddles w/ chuuya

*:･☆— wc: 1.6k *:･☆ chuuya nakahara x gn!reader

You heard the soft and steady thrum of music coming from the other side of the threshold as you unlocked the door to your apartment, releasing all of the tension in your shoulders. It was a Saturday night, and you’d been away from home for almost a week, low on sleep and energy. You felt like you were one step away from falling to the floor and sleeping in the middle of the hallway.

It was just after midnight. You’d had a hotel room booked for the night, but when your job finished this morning, you’d hopped on the earliest train back to Yokohama, desperate to be back home.

The scent of freshly burned candles instantly washed over you, and the further you stepped into the apartment, you realized the only source of light was coming from the waxy flames. The curtains had been drawn closed, though a sliver of moonlight filtered through the cracks, shimmering over your couch like a beacon.

You dropped your bag on the floor, throwing your keys onto the side table. “Chuuya?” He was definitely home. It was cool in the apartment—he always turned it down much colder than you preferred. “I’m home.”

You waited, and after a moment, received no response. The relaxing piano filtered down the hall; it was likely too loud in the other room. He wouldn’t be able to hear you.

Tiredly, you kicked your shoes off, slumping down on the sofa as you indulged in the classical music.

The tune lulled you into relaxation, and you closed your eyes, feeling beautifully soothed. In your wearied state, you couldn’t help but drift off to sleep, falling into a dream as you let your body sink deeper and deeper into the couch cushions.

Minutes later—though it had felt a lot longer than that in your exhausted state—you were shaken awake, a gentle voice calling your name.

“Hm?” you blinked your eyes open, wondering how you could’ve fallen so quickly into a deep sleep. “Chuuya?”

“What are you doing sleeping out here?” he asked with a quiet laugh, tracing your cheek with nothing but his fingertips. “I didn’t think you’d be home this early.”

You yawned, snuggling deeper into the sofa. His hand was warm against your skin, and you leaned into it, threading your fingers with his own. “I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to come home.”

Chuuya’s smile widened, his teeth showing through. “You should’ve called me.”

“Wanted to surprise you.” Never before had it felt so impossible to keep your eyes open, even as Chuuya bent down to kiss you on the forehead, dragging his mouth down the bridge of your nose until it was ghosting over your own lips. “Now I’m too tired.”

He laughed, the sound warm and so much like home. Hair tumbled over his shoulder, tickling your face as he bent over you. “I can see that.” He tugged your arm, trying to pull you to your feet, though you were dead weight, glued to the couch. You fought against him, grunting out a sound of displeasure.

“I don’t want to get up,” you said, but Chuuya still managed to pull you into a seated position as he stood, straightening his back. You fell forward and rested your cheek against his hip, the sharp bone poking into the thin skin around your jaw. He smelled clean, and the aroma of soap was freshly scrubbed into him. Chuuya must’ve been in the shower when you’d arrived. “Too tired.”

“Come on, sweetheart. You can’t be comfortable in those clothes.” He ignored your protests, scooping you up off the couch like you weighed nothing, and carried you back into the bathroom.

You closed your eyes, barely processing the action of being held above ground, everything experienced through the haze that came with days of minimal sleep. You weren’t sure how much of your weight was held up by his own strength, or if it was his ability assisting him.

Chuuya’s t-shirt was soft against your cheek, and you could hear the steady thump of his heart through the ribcage, just inches below your ear. You smiled to yourself, caught in a sleep-deprived state.

He turned a lamp on, sitting you on the bed as you gazed after him with half-closed eyes.

“Love you.” The words were saccharine, dripping from your tongue with the sickness of adoration.

He was, briefly, caught off guard as he sorted through your dresser for a fresh change of clothes. Though you had said it to him more than enough times, he always froze like it was the first, the smile only slowly appearing. His eyes morphed into the shape of hearts, every line in his face softening. “I love you too. I’m glad you got home safe.”

Chuuya came back over to you with the clothes in his hand and took his time gently peeling your dirty shirt from your skin. As carefully as he could, he swapped the clothes you had traveled in for pajamas, and you stared back at him sleepily, wondering how you’d gotten so lucky. Before he finished his task, he made sure to rub in your favorite lotion, massaging the muscles that had grown tight and sore from the assignment.  

Finally, he scratched his fingers into your scalp, and you relaxed, slumping back onto the bed. Just as you thought you were going to get to drift off into another peaceful sleep, Chuuya had shoved you back to your feet disgracefully.

“Chuuya,” you whined as he tugged you into the bathroom with determination. “I want to sleep.”

“You’ll be mad at me in the morning if I let you do that.” He rubbed small circles into your wrist as you stumbled after him, feeling like you weren’t attached to your feet at all. Though the light was dimmed, it still felt like a bright fluorescent against your retinas.

“Sit,” he said, gesturing to the counter.

You sighed loudly, making sure he knew exactly how much of an inconvenience this all was. Still, you did what he asked of you.

As you watched with drooping eyes, Chuuya gathered the products for your nightly routine, omitting the ones he knew you wouldn’t mind missing for a day. Then, he gently scrubbed your face, running a cloth over your skin before getting all of the soap completely off.

“I feel like a baby.” You leaned back against the mirror, but even with your comment, you didn’t protest when Chuuya massaged moisturizer into your skin, taking care of you with focused eyes. His cool, slender fingers felt nice against the tension of your jaw.  

“Do it yourself, then.” He stopped, momentarily, before laughing quietly.

With your eyes closed, you poked your tongue out at him. “Don’t want to.”

“Yeah.” Chuuya leaned forward to press his lips against your own, the hint of wine lingering on there as usual. He pulled away much too soon, leaving you trailing after him without a conscious thought. “That’s what I thought. You just relax and look pretty for me, okay? Shouldn’t be too hard.”

Despite your annoyance, you smiled, feeling much too pampered, even when he shoved a toothbrush into your mouth, scraping each crevice with practiced care, poking your cheek in amusement. You spit the minty taste out to rinse your mouth, finally slumping your head against Chuuya’s shoulder. Drained, you closed your eyes and yawned heavily, looking forward to a good night’s rest more than anything.

“Can I go to sleep now?” you asked, and his body shook with laughter, fingers dancing patterns across your spine.

“Sure, baby. Come on.”

Once more, he pulled you to your feet, but you went with ease, knowing that there would finally be some relief at the end of it all. The bed was a welcoming haven, the mattress softer than you’d remembered. The pillow felt like a cloud when you finally closed your eyes, humming out a great sigh as you settled down.

Chuuya made his way across the room and finished getting ready for bed before finally turning off all the lights and blowing out the candles. Somehow, you’d managed to stay awake until he’d crawled into the bed, sneaking up behind you.

“Thank you,” you said quietly as he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his usually warm body. He pressed a kiss into your spine, squeezing you against him.

“Well at least you’re being sweet about it now.” He groaned, but you could hear the underlying humor in his voice, knew he was only joking as he snuck two fingers under your shirt, rubbing circles into your side. “I just wanted to help, and all you did was complain.”

“I wanted to go to sleep,” you explained, and he snorted, snaking a knee between your thighs.

“Right,” he scoffed. “If you’re so tired, then why are you still talking to me?”

You only groaned, pinching his arm to keep him from making any more comments. “I was waiting for you." You dialed up the charm in your voice, silky with sleep. "I missed you, was all."

Though he huffed, he buried his face into your back, breathing you in quietly. "I missed you too."

Chuuya kissed your shoulder before turning you on your other side, facing him. His features were barely discernible in the dark room, though his lips brushed the tip of your nose, his breath warm against your cheeks.

You smiled, shutting your eyes once more as you settled against his chest, holding his hand loosely under blanket. Another yawn escaped you, and you let it go without a care, feeling the edges of a dream take over you.

author's note: thank you so much anon <3 i hope you enjoy! no need to apologize about the text. i feel like that's been happening to a lot of ppl for some reason!

dazai version here!!

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 5 (e.w)

*takes off grad cap* alright . here we go. 

wc;cw: 17.1k everybody died, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, age gap(three years), all ocs r blackcoded, SMUT!! MDNI!!!, phone sex, masturbation, mean ellie, weed alcohol nics yall know wassup, dubcon, virginity loss, masochism LOL, light bondage, dirty talk, ASSSPLAAAYYY😝, dp, mult. orgasms, subspace and drop, squirting, slapping(face ass tits pussy lol), toys, slight angst but also fluff, just lots of spit n cum

You’ve been very gloomy these past couple of months. 

You hadn’t stopped thinking about Ellie since you left her home that morning, up until you and Arya jumped on the train to return to campus. 

You’d never be able to express to Arya how much you appreciated her presence: she allowed you to cry, whine, pout, and sniffle about how much you missed Ellie, and she comforted you through all of it with gentle whispers of you’re gonna be fine, bitch! you’re gonna get piped down soon! I promise! Although you felt a bit selfish dumping your girl problems on her, she never made you feel guilty and justified that you always listened to her ramble about her hook-ups and high rambles. The only time she’d ever complained about anything related to your sorrowful monologues about missing Ellie’s laugh and smile and tongue was when you two had to work on your Music & Production Theory assignment (I’m gonna kill you if we fail and you’ll die dickless! Don’t play with me!). 

…But other than that, she’s been so sweet!

Ellie has also been keeping in touch ever since you left. She sent you snaps of Duchess zooming around the house, her meals for the day, and three-second voice memos of her new project she was working on. You knew that she’d been flying back and forth to California and had a packed schedule with her producer friends whenever she was there, but your heart couldn’t help but turn gray when you wouldn’t hear from her for a few days. 

Now it's March, and you and Arya are sitting on the floor as you glared searing holes into your phone. Ellie sent you a text when you were in class earlier saying that she missed your voice and was going to call you the second she had the opportunity. And you weren’t going to miss it. Ellie was worth wasting your Saturday night on! 

“I’m not gonna lie girl,” Arya's voice cut through your intense phone-staring. “I’ve definitely had my dickmatized moments but you’re kinda crazy.” 

You looked up at Arya as she carefully packed her blunt to get ready for her smoke sesh with her friends, concerned look on her face. It made you frown. 

“What, why? What’d I do?” You asked with your brows pulled down. 

And before you could hear her answer, you got a notification. You nearly snapped your wrists at the speed your hands flew to grab your phone to see if it was Ellie, your eyes bulging at your screen, only to see that your sister snapped you. You sighed in slight disappointment before opening it. 

You ignored Arya’s snickering. 

Your sister sent you a picture of her with hairspray and a lighter in her hand with a caption IM MOVING TF OUT I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT NO MORE BUGS R EVERYWHERE WHAT IN THE FUCK.

You couldn’t hold in your laugh as you snapped her back before Arya stood and went to the bathroom with a change of clothes in hand. 

You heard the shower turn on as you got up and onto your bed to mindlessly scroll through Twitter. 

After ten minutes of scrolling through a Best Euphoria Character breakdown thread, you got a text from Ellie, and you nearly squealed in excitement. 

hiiii im sorry i havent been able to b on my phone like that :( been super busy with this sample

i just wanted 2 let u know that i might have 2 call u another time we still have a bunch of layering to do for this track n we’re on a timer. i miss u so fucking bad 

You couldn’t ignore the sadness in your chest, but you texted back understandingly anyway. 

it’s ok :( i miss u too. miss ur voice :( 

Her reply bubble immediately popped up. 

i know baby fuckkkk i miss ur voice so fucking bad im ab to start asking 4 daily voice memos 🤨

You smiled at your screen so wide. 

LOOOOOOOL ur annoying 

You typed and sent a follow up before she could. 

go back 2 work 🥰🥰

kiss :( 

mwah 

mwah mwah mwah

You put your phone on your chest, and you couldn’t stop the smile that grew on your face. She made you so, so happy. 

The bathroom door opened, steam from the warm water exiting the room along with a towel-clad Arya. 

“What you cheesin’ so hard for, girl?” She said as she grabbed her edge control off her desk. 

“Nothin’,” you said with a dreamy sigh as you stared off past her. 

“…Uh huh, I’m heading out soon, I’ll be back late tonight, so don’t wait up.” She said with a smirk. 

“Don’t forget to send me your location,” you reminded her. 

She let out a quick course, baby before she went back into the bathroom. 

You went back to scrolling through Twitter until your eyelids got heavy. A comfortably dressed Arya—she’s definitely getting some— kissed your forehead and dimmed your dorm lights before she left, and you dozed off. 

You jolted awake as Rotation blasted in your ears. You drowsily picked your phone up and saw a el:3🌲 and 2:34AM across your home screen. 

You perked up immediately to answer, sitting up so fast that you went lightheaded for a second. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, you,” Ellie’s light voice rang through the phone. “Were you sleep? M’sorry, we can talk la— “

“No! No, I’m up, I was just napping, hi,” you said as you grinned softly at her laugh, laying on your back. “You’re up late. Did you guys finish?” 

“No, but we were exhausted, so we called off for the night. And one of my partners kept rambling about this girl he needed to call, so,” Her voice was already making you squirm. Thank god she couldn’t see you. “But I wanted to talk to you, couldn’t help myself.” 

“Oh my god, you’re so obsessed, damn,” you said with a giggle. 

“Fuuuuck yeah, sooo obsessed, need to drink your bath water, shit, I think I’m dying!” she said in an overly desperate, dried out tone, making you laugh harder. 

Both of your laughs calmed down before she started talking, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Umm…” She sounded a bit nervous, and it instantly made you antsy. “I know you’re not gonna be back for a couple weeks or whatever, but I just… like I was gonna ask if you wanted to do something, like just the two of us…” 

And a sly grin grew on your face. “Ellie… are you asking me out, right now?” 

The other line was silent as you heard her move around and sigh before she spoke. “…This was literally the worst way to ask a girl out, fuck, m’sorry— “

You cut through her jittery rambles. “Ellie, stop apologizing! That’s so cute! Of course, I’ll go out with you!” 

You heard her release a deep breath as she said, “Fuck, thank god, holy shit, I was so nervous. It’s been so long since I’ve done that. Almost shoved my vape down my throat.” 

You laughed as your heart beat quickened. “You really gonna wine and dine me when I come home? We’re that serious?” 

“Ohhh, we're that serious, you're eating nothing but lobster and pasta when I see you, swear to god.” 

You snorted at her, “Okay, sugar daddy, get me a new car while you're at it. With insurance.” 

“Anything you want, baby.” She said with a sleazy laugh. 

You hummed at her offer in attempts to mask the pounding of your heart, but she mocked you, humming back at you in a higher tone. 

“Shut up! I’m just thinking!” 

“Oh, yeah? About what?” 

You suddenly felt shy as her voice lowered. It was so much deeper. “Just… just you, I guess, I dunno, miss you.” 

You heard her shuffle again before she asked softly, a smirk evident in her tone, “You miss me?”

You let out a quiet, but eager mhm! as your tummy swirled with want. 

You listened to her gentle breathing before she asked, “Your roomie home?” 

And your heartbeat picked up, your eyes fluttering as your blinking slowed. 

“N-no, she’s gone.” 

“Then lay down for me, baby.” 

You instantly fell on your back, your scarfed head hitting your silk pillows. Your face was boiling hot, “I am.” 

“You sound nervous, you good?” she asked you gently. 

“M’great, just… yeah, I’m okay, want you to keep talking.” 

“Stop me whenever, you understand?” Her tone was much more serious, and it made your thighs clench, your boyshorts growing wetter. 

You whined out a uhhuh!, but she corrected you immediately, “Say you understand.” 

“I understand! I get it, El!” Fuck, you wished she were here to touch you. To scold you in person. 

You heard giggling and more shuffling around through the speaker, “You gotta shirt on?” 

“Mhm.” 

She chuckled lightly, “Take it off, take off everything while you're at it.” 

Your heartbeat spiked, “But Arya might come back.” 

“That’s why you have a blanket, honey.” 

…Fair. 

You quickly set your phone on your pillow, reaching for the hem of your shirt, lifting it up to pull it over your head, tossing it to the floor. You arched your ass up to pull your boyshorts off and kicked them to the foot of your bed. You reached for your phone again. 

“Okay, m’ready now.” 

“Such a cutie,” she cooed at you. You could hear the grin through her words. “Gonna make you cum so hard the second I get my hands on you.” 

You whimpered into the speaker as your walls squeezed. Fuck, fuckfuck. 

“You make me go fuckin’ crazy, can’t stop thinking about you.” 

“M-me, too.” 

“Yeah? What d’you think about?” 

Say it! your brain yelled at you. She already knows you’re a slut, just say what you want! 

“...Umm…” 

“Talk to me, baby, about anything you want.” 

You gulped, heart pounding in your ears, “Your… your hands? They’re… really nice.” 

“Yeah? What about ‘em is nice?” 

“Ellie…” 

“Like when they touch you all over, when they hold you down?” 

“Yes,” you barely whispered as your free hand traveled down your body. Not touching anywhere specifically, just roaming. 

“Know you do, they get you so fuckin’ hot,” She breathed through the line. “Wanna touch yourself?” 

“Yeah, w’na so bad.” 

“Say please.” 

“Ellieee— “ 

She cut off your embarrassed whines with a nastily casual tone, “I'll hang up right now. Ask nicely.” 

You balled your traveling hand up in a fist as you pleaded with an upset pout, “Please, Ellie.” 

“Please what.” 

“… Please help me?” 

“….”

“C’mon Ellie! Please make me cum! I wanna cum!” 

Her condescending laugh pierced through your ears, “Touch those pretty fuckin’ tits since I didn’t get to before you left.” 

You moaned out as your pointer finger and thumb rolled your stiffened nipple as you squirmed. 

“They’re so fucking sensitive, got my sheets so wet when I played with ‘em. Wan’em in my mouth again, shit.” 

You pulled at your other nipple, and you let out a moan into the speaker. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, miss you so fucking bad.” 

“Miss you so much, Ellie, can’t wait t’see you.” You cried out quietly. Your pussy was clenching with need. 

“Touch your pussy, babygirl, rub your clit. Get it nice and wet f’me.” 

You followed her instructions at a lightning speed, spreading your legs wider and reaching your hand all the way down to bring your slick to your clit. Your breathing picked up as you slowly rubbed it into your bud, hips jerking. 

“Tell me how wet it is,” you could hear how shaky her voice was getting, breathing labored. She was touching herself to you touching yourself, and it was making you wetter. It made you burn. It made you want to get her there. 

“M’really wet, El,” you mewled out to her, trying to ignore your bashfulness. 

“Yeah? S’dripping on your bed like it did on mine?” 

“Shit, yes, I feel it.” 

“Fuuuck, bet it’s so fucking tight, gonna break that pretty pussy in so good.” 

“Want you to. Want you inside me s’bad, please.” 

“Gonna give you whatever you want, promise, shit.”

You felt that feeling coming over you before you could think, “Think m’gonna cum, baby—“

“Already? Always cum so fucking quick—“

“I-I just miss you!” 

“Then cum for me, love.” 

“G’na, daddy!” You heard her groan at the name. 

“Fuuuuck!” You heard the wet sounds from her pussy over her groans and whines of your name, and that swelling feeling in your gut exploded.

All you could get out was a garbled cumming! as your thighs shook in your pleasure, your fingers quickly rubbing your clit as your hips bucked towards the friction. It felt so much better because you knew she was listening. 

“Don’t fucking stop, you’re gonna cum again.” She scolded when your fingers slowed and your breathing slowed.

“E-Ellieee—!”

“You wanted to cum so bad, right? Then fucking cum, fuck that pussy,” she must’ve been close: her breathing was heavier and shaky, the wet sounds from her side increasing. 

You put your phone on speaker and set it on your pillow, propping yourself up on your elbow so you could fuck yourself easier. You’ve never successfully made yourself cum like this, but you slid your middle finger in experimentally anyway. You released a light gasp at the stretch. You were so soft and slippery on the inside, your clit twitching as you wiggled around in search for that spot that Ellie found so easily. 

“D-Do me a favor?” she gasped out to you. 

“U-Uh huh?” 

She let out a breathy laugh, “Put your pussy on the phone so I can nut?” 

You laughed with her, shaking your head as you grabbed it with your free hand. You placed it between your legs, thrusting your finger in and out, “Can you hear it?” 

“Yeah, babe, fuck.” 

You let out a moan with her, slowly fucking yourself and bringing your other hand over to rub your clit, hips jolting at the sensitivity. You both were moaning each other's name as you chased your pleasure in unison. You let out a loud moan when you prodded that squishy spot that made you black out the last time you saw Ellie. You hit it as hard as you could, pussy squelching around your fingers and belly swirling. 

“Gonna make me cum, shit, sounds so fucking hot,” she whined out in between heavy pants. 

“Cum with me, El? Please?” You rubbed your clit faster.

“Gonnagonna, fuck, m’so close—!”

You let out a shout of her name as it hit you, your fingers trapped between the tight grip of your walls. You rubbed your clit as you grinded into your pussy, your head falling back as your hips rocked back and forth to ride it out. You tried to quiet your wails as Ellie came with you, letting out obscenities while she talked you through it. You could hear how fast her fingers were moving and it made another wave wash over you, your cunt giving one last bone-crushing squeeze as its twitching calmed. 

You pulled your drenched fingers out and slowly rubbed your clit as you came down, listening to Ellie’s quieting gasps of pleasure. You reached to grab a couple tissues from your work desk, wiping your fingers and pussy before grabbing your phone to set on your pillow. You heard her shuffle before she spoke. 

“You okay, babe?”

“Yeah… wish you were here,” you answered with a pout. 

“I know, a couple more weeks’n I’m all yours.” 

“S’all I’m thinking about,” you said gently. “Go get some rest.” 

“Don’t want you to gooooo,” you heard her pouting. It made your heart skip. “Stay on the phone with me?

“Don’t you have to get up early tomorrow?” 

“…Yeah…”

“Right. You had a long day, go to bed.” Even though the sound of her breathing would lull you to sleep faster, you could only imagine how drained she must’ve been. 

“Fine,” you heard her sigh in resignation. 

“Sleep well,” you cheesed widely. 

“I’ll try, promise. Mmmmwaaah!” she sent a goofy kiss through the speaker. You sent one back. 

“Night, El.” 

“Night, baby.” 

You hung up your line, throwing your phone on your pillow as you sat up to go to the bathroom. 

You missed her scent so much. 

Your sister was very in love. And lonely. 

It’s been almost three weeks since she’s seen Isaiah. 

She was typically good at keeping her sneaky links on the low, only calling them to fulfill her needs in the middle of the night, buy her drinks, smoke her the fuck out whenever she wanted, but she never expected to miss one of them or wait for their calls. Fuck time zones!

When Isaiah and your sister first started hooking up, it started off normal. Quick, but nastily satisfying fucks in hotel rooms (that he paid for, city girl shit), smashing in his rental car before his studio session, in her car before she went to work; it was strictly sexual for months, and she was fine with him constantly flying back and forth! 

Until he returned from California with a new strain that he said reminded him of her. She damn near bought a ring to propose to him herself. He smoked her out, she had one of the best highs of her life, and he gave her the craziest head on her couch, how could she not want him?! 

And now he’s gone, making beats in California again as she sat and thought about his voice. His scent.

Why did California always keep the most important people away from her?! 

Thinking about that city always gives her a headache. She ignited the packed bowl of her pipe, staring holes into the black screen of her phone as she waited for his call. 

You were editing another compilation of you playing all four seasons of Vivaldi as Arya snored on your shoulder. Your subs were going to eat this one up! 

The train Wi-Fi was kicking your ass and was this close to fucking up your render, but you were managing. 

You stretched your wrists, and you leaned back from your small tray table, resting against your head against the rest and grabbing your phone. 

You got a text from Ellie! 

hiiiii baby can’t wait 2 c u 

got smth cute planned :)

You didn’t notice the smile that spread on your face as you typed. 

so excited :( wanna smell u so bad 

You were about to set your phone down, but a text bubble popped up. 

yeah? wna smell u too 

gonna shove my nose in that pussy and inhale 😛

IMMA EAT IT RAAAHH

Your entire body flushed hot as you shook your head. 

AYOOOOO??

UR FUCKDIGNNSTUPIDD GET OFF MY PHONE

LFMAKOAAOOAAO 

kissie b4 i go? :(

mwahmwahmwah

mmmmmwwah

You set your phone down as you cheesed dumbly. 

You wished this train would hurry the fuck up! 

Your mom had come to pick you and Arya up from the station with slices of her freshly baked pineapple upside-down cake, kisses, and strong hugs. You never got used to being away from her months at a time; You'd missed her warm embrace so much. 

You had a couple of days to yourself before you and Ellie's first date and… just thinking about it made your heart beat faster. 

She’d texted you when you got home, telling you to dress up in something fancy. Would she buy you a fancy dinner? Take you to an art gallery? A night on the town in the city? The possibilities were endless with her! 

Arya had been telling you that you needed to buy some… things for when the two of you get “freak nasty”, so she offered to drive you to the mall (no more fruit panties, you're an adult now!, she’d scolded you). While you were excited for what happened after your date, you didn’t want it to be narrowed down to that; You loved spending time with Ellie. You just got her back in your life, and you wanted to appreciate every moment that you could get with her when she wasn't working. You felt so happy when she was around. 

… But of course, Arya wasn’t hearing that. 

“Girl, you can save all that sappy shit for the wedding, do you want crotchless panties under your—“ She paused her waving of the… very exposed pair of pink underwear as she remembered something. “Oh fuck, you don’t have a dress!” 

“…I was thinking about just wearing my prom dr— “

“Don’t even finish that fuckin’ sentence, are you serious?! Your prom dress? On your first date? You needa be slapped for that!” She said, irritated as she glared at you. You glared back at her attitude, now just as annoyed. 

“What do you expect me to do?! I’m not… I’m not like you guys, okay? This typa shit is easy for y’all. You know how hard it is for me to… do things like this. Why do you think I’ve been single this whole time?!” You said with a hurt frown. 

You knew she never meant any harm whenever she scolded you about your romantic situations, —or lack thereof—but that didn’t mean it hurt your feelings any less. You’re just starting to come into yourself and your appearance, and you need her, and everyone else, to be patient with you. 

Arya must’ve sensed the pain and discomfort in your voice because her glare slowly fell, a gentle replacement immediately overtaking her expression. She set the panties back down onto the display table and grabbed your shoulders. 

“M’sorry babe, okay?” She said softly, and you nodded as you looked off into the distance in rigid forgiveness; You knew she didn’t like that. “Look at me.” 

Your eyes slowly met hers before she quietly spoke. “I’m sorry, I want the best for you, that’s all.” 

She continued as your eyes watered. Just a little glisten! “You’re such a beautiful person—inside’n out and I want you to feel that way, even more so now because of that dick-slangin’ girlfriend of yours!” 

“You’re annoying,” you joked as you laughed quietly, making her smile. 

“It’s true! You’re my baby’n I love you.” 

“Love you,” you mumbled into her shoulder as she pulled you into a tight hug, pressing a light kiss to the side of your head before pulling back. 

She spun around and pointed towards the 30% off on all thongs! sign at the front of the store. 

“Can you buy one, at least?” she said in half-joking exasperation, pout on her face. 

“…Sure,” You relented with a sigh. “I might not wear it for the date, though!” 

“That’s fine, mama! Just wanna make sure you got one for safe keeping!” She said slyly as she stuck her tongue out. 

You shook your head as you made your way over to the rack, eyeing the pine green thong on the mannequin. 

Two days passed and you were getting ready for your first date! You couldn’t believe it! 

After Arya drove the two of you to the airport to pick up Kris and Starr, they’d spent the night at your place so they could see you off before Ellie came to pick you up. 

Starr helped you wax your eyebrows and legs: she offered to wax your cooch, but you were scared and a little embarrassed at the thought of your friends seeing you so… exposed. You knew your friends didn’t care about seeing you naked, but you were still a bit sheltered with them. I’ll stick to my razor! you'd said. 

Kris was pressing your hair while Arya helped you glue your lashes on as you frantically checked the time with a bouncy knee. 6:33… 6:34… 6:36!

Even though Ellie said that your reservation was at seven-thirty, you still needed to get dressed, had to count for the drive, potential stops for gas… and what if there was an accident on the road and it made you both late… oh, god what if you both caused the accident—!

“Bro, can you calm the hell down— “ 

“Y’know, I’m getting really sick of y’all asking the girl with anxiety to calm down—!”

“Stop moving and hold your ear down!” 

You thanked god your mom was out on a wine night; She didn’t need her night ruined with you and your friends bickering. 

You grabbed your ear in a tight downward pinch with a harsh sigh, moving it so Kris could straighten your baby hairs. Even with all this frantic movement from everyone in the room, they made it clear that they didn’t want you to see your final look until the very end, blocking all mirrors available with their bodies. 

After fifteen minutes of… pure chaos, your hair laid flat, and your face was beat. You pressed kisses all over your friends’ faces with breathy iloveyouthankyou’s before grabbing your dress and undergarments to sprint to your bathroom, making sure not to look at yourself even though you desperately wanted to. 

You shut the door with a deep and heavy exhale. You looked at your dress with pounding in your ears: it was a floor length, black velvet maxi dress with lace detailed sleeves. It accentuated your bust so a little cleavage was showing (I, personally, would have my nipples out, but this is cute, too! you recalled Arya saying in the dressing room); It was so… classy. You felt like an adult when you tried it on. You hope Ellie likes it. 

You shook off your insecurities before they could terrorize you and removed your tee, underwear, and sweatpants. You put your pine green, lacy strapless bra on with the thong to match, adjusting it so… your pussy could fucking breathe how do people wear this shit everywhere they go! 

You grabbed your dress and stepped into it, carefully pulling it up and over your shoulders. You straightened it out with your hand, making sure no wrinkles were in it before you took a breath, opened the door, and walked out to your bedroom.

Starr was the first one you made eye-contact with and she damn near fell out of your desk chair and onto the floor. Your eyes widened as the other two turned with excited gasps and shrieks. 

“OH MY FUCKIN’ GOD WHAT THEFUCK—!”

“You’re so fucking fine, holy shit—!”

“If it don’t work out with ol’ girl, you know where to find me—!”

You shook your head at them before dropping your gaze to your floor so that they couldn’t see your small smile, your face flushed, “Okay, okay, can I look now?” 

“Yeah baby, turn around!” Kris said excitedly as she grabbed your shoulders with an encouraging squeeze. 

You spun around and was immediately met with someone who… did not look like you. At all. Even your brain was too stunned to speak. What the fuck? 

The girls' excited expressions slowly dropped when they witnessed your shocked reaction, but you weren’t upset at all. Just… surprised. In a good way. 

“What’s the matter, honey?” Kris asked you gently from behind with concerned eyes, meeting yours in the mirror. 

“…I’m just really— “ 

THROW IT IN ROTATION! (THR—)

You jumped towards your phone on your dresser, nearly knocking your lamp off it. You answered immediately when you saw who it was. 

“Hello?” 

“Hiiiii, m’downstairs!” Ellie said giddily, and your spirit brightened. You smiled widely, and the girls followed. 

“I’m coming down right now, just needa put my shoes on!” 

“Ok, is it fine if I come in for a sec or?” 

“Yeah, it’s fine. The girls wanna meet you!” And they nodded eagerly in agreement. 

“… Fuck, now I’m scared.” 

“Don’t be! They’re so sweet, c’mon.” 

“K, gimme a sec, mmmmmwah!” she said goofily, you sending one back just as dopily before you ended the call. 

“Y’all gay as shit,” Starr said with a headshake, making the other girls snicker and jump in excitement. 

You, heels in hand, and your friends nearly jumped down the staircase to rip the front door off the hinges. 

The minute your eyes connected with Ellie’s, you had to stop yourself from dropping to your knees and doing something crazy. Fuck.

She was dressed in an all-black suit with a… fucking turtleneck underneath her jacket. Her sleeves were rolled up so her forearm tattoo was exposed. She had…Cuban links around her neck and wrists. Her hair was cut into a mullet—when the fuck did that happen, holy shit?!— and the two slits in her brow were more prominent. You noticed one of her hands was behind her back, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to care about what she was hiding. You were, by all means, ready to fuck right now. You nearly said fuck the date. 

And by the darkening of her eyes as she took you in from head to toe, you could tell she was ready, too. 

“…Hey,” she said to all of you, but she kept eye contact with you. You stared back. 

“Hi! Nice to finally meet you, I’m Arya,” your best friend interrupted as she stuck her hand out towards your date. Her eyes left yours to politely greet your friends with cute smiles and handshakes. 

And then she turned to you, bringing her hidden arm around to hand you a burgundy sunflower wrapped in gold and pink ribbons and plastic. Evening sun! 

She stepped inside and into your space—she always smelled so fucking good! — as you took it from her hand with a gentle thank you. Her cheeks were so red as she whispered back of course before planting a soft kiss to your lips. You heard your friends squeal quietly. Neither of you cared, sucked into your own little universe. 

“Ready?” she whispered. You nodded excitedly with a toothy grin, stepping into your heels. She smiled back before taking your hand in hers. 

“Oh fuck, wait a second!” Kris said loudly before running upstairs. You looked at your two friends, confused. Starr smirked as Arya shrugged. 

Kris came running back down the stairs with a small backpack in her hand, giving it to you. 

“Packed you some… things. Might not see you for a few days,” she said slyly as she winked, causing Starr to snicker. What the hell was in this bag? 

“Be careful with our little baby, now! She’s fragile!” Starr called out. 

“Will do, don’t worry,” Ellie replied with a light laugh before turning to you to whisper, “C’mon, baby.” 

“Don’t forget to lock the door before you guys head out, keys under the mat,” you turned to say to your friends as you slowly walked out. “I love y’all!” 

Shouts of love you! and be safe! rung through your ears before you gently shut the door. Your back was immediately pressed up against it before you could think, Ellie craning her neck to connect your lips in a hot kiss. Your knees went weak. 

She pulled away before you could protest, looking you up and down, “Had to do that, fuck, you look gorgeous.” Your cheeks were so hot as you mumbled a quiet you, too!

“Think I’m gorgeous?” She hummed out with a small smile. You saw her cheeks shine a darker shade of pink.

You nodded with an mhm!, wrapping your arms around her neck to pull her in for another kiss. She grabbed your forearms and moved back with a shake of her head.

“Okay. No more bullshit, we’re classy tonight!” She said with a clap of her hands. 

“Just one more,” you shook your head with a pout as you attempted to move her closer. 

You shut your eyes when you saw her face move closer to yours before you heard her whisper a no against your lips. 

“C’mon, we’re gonna be late,” She said with a foxy grin. She took your hand in hers to lead you to her… sleek ass car, fucking shit! 

The heartbeat in your ears nearly deafened you. 

The restaurant was… impeccable. You thought Cheesecake Factory was fancy; They were nothing compared to this spot. It was dimly lit, crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, tables draped in a black cloth, marble plates, candles, bottles of champagne… This is wealth!

Ellie hadn’t let your hand go the entire car ride, all the way up until you reached the front desk to confirm your reservation. You both were led to an exclusive spot on the second-floor outdoor balcony so that the two of you were alone. You teared up at the sight in front of you.

Your small section was filled with lit lanterns, the decorative trees around your table wrapped in fairy lights, and your table was surrounded with rose petals. There was even a small flowerpot with an evening sun sticking out of it. The gesture was so simple, but your eyes watered with gratitude. You couldn’t believe she organized this for you.

“Like it?” She sounded so nervous next to you. You turned to face her and nodded with a sniffle.

“Such a crybaby, jesus,” she mumbled with a shaky laugh, reaching towards a napkin on the table to hand to you. You dabbed your eyes, minding your liner.

“This is so sweet, Ellie, oh my god,” you watched her expression fill with affection and doting before she pulled you in to kiss your forehead as she led you over to the table.

She grabbed the back of your chair to pull it out for you with an over-exaggerated call of m’lady!, ushering you to sit down. You laughed wetly before you sat with a thank you!

“I wasn’t joking when I said you can get whatever you want,” She stated as she circled the small table to get to her seat. “I’ll buy this place out if you ask, don’t give a fuck.” 

Fuckfuckfuck—!

“Ellie, this is prettiest place I’ve ever fucking been in, oh my god!” You said as you glanced around the room. 

“Ehhh, it’s alright,” she said with a cocky smirk, shrugging as she shook her jacket off her shoulders. You tried not to look at her toned arms too closely as you rolled your eyes. “Want some wine?” 

“Is… is that allowed?” 

“… It is tonight, shit— “

A man dressed in a black shirt, slacks, and apron cut her off with an introduction as your server, bowing his head in greeting. You noticed how he kept returning his gaze to you as he described the specials, but you paid it no extra mind.

After Ellie asked for the most expensive wine, the server departed with a stiff nod in her direction. You noticed her intense gaze as she watched him leave. 

“You okay?” you asked gently. She silently shook her head yes before reaching out to you to grab your hand, playing with your fingers. 

Hm. That was weird. 

Dinner was fucking incredible. Shrimps should’ve never been called the “roaches of the sea”, they tasted too good! 

You were two glasses of wine in, —nursing your third—and you were starting to feel warm and fuzzy, a smile permanently painted on your face as Ellie went on about astrology; You didn’t know what the fuck a mercury retrograde was, but you supported anything that kept that impassioned look in her eyes! She looked so excited! 

“—that fucker thought that because I’m a fucking Libra I wasn’t gonna say anything. Like, I literally have an Aquarius rising, you cunt! I’ll fuckin’ run you ov— “

“How’s everything?” 

You looked to your side and made eye contact with your server, you sipped from your glass as you eagerly nodded, “Oh my god, it was fucking incredible. Who knew shrimps could be that goddamn huge! Are we allowed to say bad words in here?!” 

He laughed while nodding, “Yes ma’am, you’re allowed to do whatever you want in here. Would you like any dessert with the rest of your wine?” 

“Yes, please!” You got giddy at the mention of sweets, “I saw this chocolate molten lava cake lookin’ thing on the menu, but there was no ice cream on top. Can y’all… à la mode it?” 

“Course we can, the Chocolate Fondant with ice cream!” He said as he pulled out his notepad from his apron pocket, scribbling before turning to Ellie. You noticed how tense she looked: she was sitting back in her chair with her legs crossed, her finger tapping on the arm rest, and her shoulders were stiff. You didn’t comment on it, but something was off. “And for you?” 

She didn’t answer, and her lack of response concerned you. You reached over to gently place your hand on top of her… clenched fist on the table, “El? You don’t have to get a whole one. You wanna share with me?” 

She hadn’t looked at you since he arrived, though: she continued to glare at the waiter, and when you turned to look at him, you saw him glare at her. What the hell? 

“We’re gonna get that to go, actually.” She demanded, her gaze sharp like knives. You recognized that tone of hers instantly. She was this close to swinging. Oh no. 

“I think that would be best. Cash or card?” He snarked. You whipped your head to glare at his tone. 

You felt the table shake as Ellie moved to stand. You jumped up and stood in front of her—almost breaking your damn ankle in these heels— before she could lunge at the waiter, letting out soft warnings of nononono as you blocked her off. This was an elitist establishment; you’re not trying to get arrested! The waiter scoffed and stomped off. 

You watched Ellie seethe in her chair as she pulled her wallet out of her slack pocket, throwing a stack of hundreds on the table before grabbing her jacket. She wrapped her hand around yours before pulling you towards the restaurant's staircase. 

She harshly pushed the doors of the restaurant open to lead you to the parking garage. You weren’t having it, though. 

“Ellie! Ellie, wait! What the hell just happened?” You asked, grabbing her wrist with your free hand to stop her pacing. 

“Doesn’t matter— “

“Yes, it does!” You said louder as you yanked your hand from hers. You grabbed her flushed face in your hands, but she wasn’t looking at you. She just continued to whisper obscenities under her breath. 

“Baby, look at me please, talk to me,” you said gently, rubbing her cheeks with your thumbs in an attempt to soothe her. 

She finally looked down at you, before looking around again, “Let’s get in the car first, c’mon.” 

You released her face from your grasp with a nod, letting her guide you. 

She let out a deep sigh when she shut her door. You leaned over to rub her knee comfortingly. 

She looked down at your hand as her expression softened, “M’sorry, I— “

You shook your head, “It’s okay, just, what was that? I’m so confused right now—” 

“Motherfucker wouldn’t stop glaring at me, pissed me the fuck off,” She said between grit teeth. “Kept lookin’ at you, the fuck was he smiling so hard for anyway—“

“A-at me?” 

“Yes, at you,” She said like it was obvious. Your brows furrowed in confusion. “The bastard almost broke his neck trying to show you the menu, ohhh of course I'll put ice cream on the chocolate fountain, sexy, I'll make sure the chocolate’s extra hot for you, like what the fuck— “

You couldn’t hold in your laughter at her exaggerated impressions, and you felt her relax as she scoffed a laugh out. You watched as she reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out her mint vape, pulling from it. She turned her head to blow the smoke away from your face. You leaned over the center console, grabbing the side of her face to turn towards you. You planted soft kisses to her cheek in between your chuckles as she shook her head, licking her chapped lips. 

“Dinner was really good,” you said in between kisses. 

She hummed before she sighed, “Sorry I ruined it, you didn’t even get your chocolate fountain.” 

You giggled, “Fondant, baby.” 

She grumbled out a whatever, making you laugh harder, “I had so much fun, El, love spending time with you.” 

She turned her face towards yours to whisper, “Me too babe. Missed you so much.” 

“You smell so fucking good,” you whispered against her mouth before you could think.

“Yeah?” You felt her smirk. 

You hummed in agreement before pressing your mouth to hers. She instantly reciprocated, turning her body so she could place a hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer. The kiss deepened, her tongue swiping against your bottom lip before she sucked on it. You let out a whine when her tongue licked into your mouth. Tongueringtongueringtongueri—

But then she pulled away. You followed her mouth with yours, making her smile. 

“Let’s go home.” 

You nodded so hard, you almost snapped your neck. 

The minute you stepped foot into Ellie’s place, her mouth was on yours. 

Her strong hands were gripping your hips, your arms around her neck as you moaned in her mouth. 

Jinglejinglejinglejingle—

You pulled away from her and turned the second you heard Duchess coming, her small, fluffy body descending the stairs. You pushed Ellie’s grabby, traveling hands away. 

“Baby! Oh my god! I missed you so much!” You squealed in excitement as you rushed over to her as quickly as your heeled feet would allow. She started purring and rubbing against your leg. You bent over to pet her little head as she nuzzled into your hand. 

“You really chose her over me, wow, okay,” Ellie called out from behind you as you heard the fridge open along with some clinking glass. 

Of course, Duchess’s demons took over as she whipped her head off into the distance, seemingly shocked by something, before sprinting back upstairs. There had to be a ghost or something in this bitch!

You shook your head before standing straight to turn towards the kitchen. You noticed Ellie shamelessly staring at your ass before she slowly dragged her eyes up connected with yours. And she just took a shot of pure vodka. No chaser. Fuck.

“You always talk about me staring, look at you!” 

“You’re lucky that’s all I did,” She said as she poured another shot for herself. “Was thiiis close to doing something outta pocket.” 

“Oh yeah? Like what?” you challenged. Yup, that wine was still kicking.

“Shoving my tongue in your ass,” she said casually with a shrug before leaning over the counter, taking sips from her shot glass. 

That familiar swirl in your gut quickly turned into a tornado. Your pussy clenched tight with want. Oh. Oh, wow. 

“Oh.”

“Uh huh.” 

Do something! Say something sexy, you’re boring her! your brain shouted. 

“T-that guy was trash, huh?” you said with a sheepish laugh. 

“…Yup,” she said deeply as she watched you. Every breath you took, every nervous twitch of your body with that nasty little glint in her eyes. The one you recognized from New Year’s. You stepped out of your heels and took a stumbly step towards the counter. 

Confidence! Confidence, dammit! 

“Can I have some?” You said as you pointed towards the bottle of Absolut. 

She snorted a laugh before shrugging, “I dunno. Can you?” 

“Shut up, gimme some,” you said as you folded your arms over your chest. Her eyes dropped to your tits as she licked her lips; She wasn’t moving to get your drink, she just stared at your pushed up breasts. Your manicured nails dug into your lacy sleeve, but you stood your ground. “Right now.” 

She smirked at your tone before returning her gaze to yours, shaking her head no. She tilted her head condescendingly, lifting her brow at you. She was… fucking testing you! The goddamn nerve! 

“Ellie.” 

“Hm?” 

“Pour me a shot!” 

“Or what?” Her tone was so low, so relaxed. You could feel yourself getting so wet.

“Or m’gonna…” Come up with something, what the fuck! “M’gonna…uh… fight you!” 

“…You’re gonna fight me?” She squinted her eyes at you, setting the small glass down on the counter before folding her hands. 

“…Yeah! Y’know what?! I’m actually mad, you ruined our first date because you thought some guy was staring at me!” There was a shakiness in your voice, but you waved your arms in anger as you started pacing, your bare feet stomping on the dark tile. Along with soft jingles. Duchess was back! “I’ve never been stared at by a stranger in my life!” 

Ellie wasn’t retaliating, but you noticed her jaw clenching. It made you clench, but you pressed anyway. 

“And you didn’t even get me my dessert! Maybe I wanted him to stare at me! Maybe I wanted the attention, for once! For fucking on—!” 

You hadn’t noticed Ellie circle the counter during your toothless rampage, but you felt a sharp tug of hair at the back of your head. Your neck forcibly craned up at her as you let out a wet gasp and pained whined, your fist clenching in your shock and… arousal. Your eyes met her dark, fiery ones, her lips slightly parted as her breath hit your face. You couldn’t stop fucking squirming, your thighs rubbing together to ease the sudden tightness of your core. 

“Don’t start acting like a fuckin’ brat,” She said lowly between grit teeth. “You’re cute, keep it that way.” 

Despite your eagerness for… her everything, you spat back, “S-Screw you, Ellie! You’re mean!” 

“Know I am. Seems like you don’t, though.” 

Your body involuntarily shuddered against her, and you mentally cursed yourself for being your biggest enemy! Your tough act faltered the second you put it on, and she smirked. “So fuckin’ easy, you wanna screw me, baby?”

You were easy. You were, you were, all for her! Fuck, you’d do anything she asked of you. You hadn’t even realized that your hands were slowly lifting your dress up on their own accord, bunching the fabric around your hips. She looked down and scoffed out a laugh, her grip in your hair tightening. You were moaning aloud already, what the fuck! 

“Givin’ it up like that? Like a filthy slut?” 

You nodded, your head filled with nothing but desire. Need. Instinct. You needed her to fuck you right now! 

“Get up those fucking stairs, gonna put the baby in the guest room.” You could hear her jingling on the couch. 

Her grip on you loosened as she backed away to walk towards Duchess with a soft hi, baby! missed you! 

That was a fast switch up! 

You turned towards the counter and downed the rest of Ellie’s discarded shot before you bolted up the steps. You never ran so fast in your life. 

After Ellie took care of Duchess, you heard her tread up the stairs. You were sitting on the edge of her made bed with your hands folded in your lap and slick pooling your thong. She met your eyes from where she stood by the top of the steps.

“Look at you, already so well behaved,” she cooed at you. She sounded so demeaning, and you loved it. You were so embarrassed that you did. 

You didn’t reply but watched her slowly walk towards you. Your breathing picked up and your heart pounded in your ears and head and clit—

“You used to be so fuckin’ sweet,” she said down at you, her lustful eyes twinkling under the green and blue hues in her room. She shook her head at you. “You get some alcohol in you’n start acting out? That’s what you wanna do?” 

You slowly shook your head no, jutting your bottom lip out. 

“Talk.” 

“No, Ellie,” you could barely whisper. 

“Take this off,” she ordered abruptly, her pointer finger pulling at the bust of your dress. 

You stood at her command, pulling your arms out of your sleeves to pull the dress down your body. Was it always this tight?! 

After wrestling with your garb, it pooled at your feet. You stepped out of it clumsily as Ellie took in your appearance. You watched her rake her eyes over your body, chuckling softly at your undergarments. 

“These are cute,” she said as she snapped the band of your thong against your skin. It made you flinch… and wetter! “Give’em to me.” 

Your breath hitched, curling in on yourself slightly. 

She gently cut through your thoughts before you could gather them, “Don’t think about it, just do what I ask.” 

You hesitantly hooked your thumbs into your underwear and pulled them down on autopilot, cringing slightly at the large wet spot on the little triangle. You pressed your thighs together to help alleviate some tension. It didn’t help. 

“Get up there,” she nodded her head towards her bed frame. You sat on the bed to scoot up the mattress, but she stopped you, tightly gripping your ankle.

“Nuh uh, hands’n knees’ c’mon,” she scolded, “Wanna see that wet fuckin’ pussy.” 

You clumsily got up onto your knees, hands sinking into her pine-scented blankets. Your erratic breaths picked up as you nervously looked back at her over your shoulder. Her expression softened slightly, whispering okay, baby? and you nodded enthusiastically. You never would’ve thought that you would enjoy Ellie being mean to you, but it was making you drip. She smirked and her gaze dropped to stare at your wet cunt, and it squeezed in excitement. 

Be sexy! you thought. Make her want you! 

You deepened the arch in your back slightly before you slowly crawled up her bed like a cat until you were faced with her black, detailed bed frame. You boldly shoved your face into her pillows, —you sniffed them very deeply— making sure to keep your ass up as far as you could. 

“It’s like that?” You heard her scoff out. Your pussy twitched at her voice; You hoped she noticed.

You took a deep breath, “Is it?” 

“Fucking smartass. Show me your pussy.” 

Your body burned at her vulgarity; she had no shame! You whimpered before you reached your arms behind you to spread your asscheeks, both holes pulsing in excitement. 

You felt her move onto the bed before you heard the ripping of fabric. She grabbed both your wrists in one hand, knotting your soaking wet panties around them before dropping your bound hands onto your back. 

“ELL— “

You were going to scold her for ripping your new pair, but you were cut off by a stinging slap on your ass. You let out a pained groan in the pillow as your nails dug into your palms. Oh, you liked that. A lot. You wanted more. Fuck, you want her to hurt you. 

“Gotta beat it into you, huh? That’s the type of shit you like?” Ellie said in a nasty timbre. “The only way t’get you to behave?” 

You didn’t even get to lift your head to say yes! before another harsh slap landed on your other cheek and you let out a muffled squeal again. You knew your pussy was dripping onto her duvet in a puddle! 

“You’re lucky you’re only getting my fucking hand. Fuckin’ slut.” 

Why was the disgusting part of you wishing that she were using something more? Something that she could etch into your skin forever?

“E-Ell— “

“Be quiet.” 

You shut up. You shut up so quickly. 

“Fuuck, look at this fucking ass.” You felt her calloused hands massage both cheeks. She spread them, made them jiggle. Hit you again. 

“Gonna let me play with it, babygirl? Hm? Gonna let me touch you how I want to?” She cooed out at you. You knew she knew your answer, but you nodded your sweaty head into her pillow anyway. 

You felt her place a light kiss on the back of your thigh, right under your asscheek, before she got up. You heard a drawer slide open. Her… special drawer. Fuck, she was going to destroy you. 

You craned your neck as best as you could

to watch as she pulled out some items. She set them on the dresser before she undid her chains, bracelets, and earrings. She took her turtleneck and slacks off, leaving her with mussed hair and a black sports bra with matching boyshorts. Her back, her fucking back, holy fuck—

Your thoughts were halted by a thud near the edge of the bed: you couldn’t see anything that she chose, but you saw that familiar shade of purple in the middle of the small pile.

“You comfortable in that position?” She questioned you suddenly, her softness returning. 

“Umm… I like it, but my arms hurt a little, not gonna lie.” 

She tsked at you, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“M’sorry! I was really into the “don’t talk” thing— “

“If the don't talk thing makes you not tell me when you're uncomfortable, I’m not doing it. You gotta tell me when you feel off, I don’t care why or when it is,” She crawled up to you and undid the knot from your wrists before grabbing your hip to help move you onto your back. “Here, stretch out.” 

You laid your head on her pillow as you extended your arms and legs, sighing in relief before you rested, limbs spread out on the mattress, “M’okay now.” 

She hummed in acknowledgement, but she wasn’t looking at your face. She was staring at your wet cunt, and it made you squeeze hard. She licked her lips as more slick pooled at your hole before meeting your eyes. “I like you better like this actually.” 

You nodded as you offered her your wrists, signaling her to tie them again with a wide grin. 

She laughed at you before crawling up to pull at your bra wire, “Wait, take this off first.” 

“Want you to do it,” you sighed out dreamily.

She hummed at you, moving up to straddle your waist, “I meant it when I said this was cute, by the way.” 

“Exactly, was cute! You saw my panties for three seconds and ripped them to shreds,” you cackled out. 

“I was excited, felt a little frisky!” She laughed with you. 

You both slowed your giggles when she started rubbing them through the fabric, both hands massaging you through the cups. 

Your eyes fluttered when your nipples brushed up against the lace, your back arching into her touch. She slowly bent down to take one of them into her mouth, the bulb in her mouth circling the peak. You gasped sharply, arching deeper as your hand flew to the back of her head. You gently scratched her scalp with your nails, and she sucked on it. 

You jerked and your grip on her hair tightened, and she moaned around you. You moaned at the vibrations on your sensitive skin. 

You hadn’t noticed her hands snuck under you to undo the clasp of your bra as she pulled away from you, discarding the flimsy cloth and tossing it somewhere. 

“So much for a surprise,” you playfully rolled your eyes at her. Calloused fingers dug into your cheeks. Your smile dropped and your eyes fluttered as hers burned into yours.

“You’re not off the fuckin’ hook. Watch your mouth, you understand?” She said lowly, breath hitting your face. You nodded quickly.

“I understand,” you whimpered out. 

“Atta girl, you're learning,” she patronized with a satisfied grin, patting your cheek a couple times. You blushed harder. “Gimme those hands.” 

She sat up to reach for your destroyed panties, your wrists connected at the veins as she bound them together, much tighter than the first time. 

You rested your arms on the pillow behind you. She adjusted them so that your head was propped up and your neck was supported. You poked your chest out more as your tits jiggled with your movements. 

“I do anything you don’t like, you tell me.” She said in a hushed, but stern tone. 

“I will, El, promise.” 

“Okay,” she bent down to press a soft kiss to your mouth before moving off you and towards the pile of toys. 

She grabbed one of… what is that? 

It was a teal circle with a small hole at the top of it. Technology is so interesting—

“It’s clean, promise,” she must’ve noticed your furrowed brows and stare. You shook your head.

“S’not that, what… what is it?” 

“A vibrator, babe,” she said simply. 

“…Hm, never seen one like that before.” 

“I hadn’t either. It was a gift,” she snorted before she clicked a button on the top of it. A low vibration filled the room, “It feels good, though.” 

“What’s it feel like?” 

“It’s supposed to feel like you’re getting head… sorta,” She said in thought, “It kinda does, like a little bit… wanna see if you like it?” 

“Yeah, p-please?” 

“That’s cute.” 

She brought her free hand up to roll your nipples between her thumb and pointer finger, making you whine out and squirm and arch your back. Your eyes fluttered closed.

You felt the gentle vibrations on your inner thigh before they slowly trailed up with every twist and pinch Ellie gave your nipples. Your hips started bucking up before she brought her hand down to slap your pussy. You let out a loud moan as your eyes shot open to meet her dark ones.

“Stop moving.” 

“C-can't help it,” you said with pout. 

“Yeah, you can.” 

You let out a huff, and she gave your cunt another wet slap, much harder. You squealed loudly as your legs squeezed shut.  

“Don’t get a fuckin’ attitude.” 

You whimpered a sloppy slew of apologies, but you knew she wasn’t hearing it as she pried your legs apart with one strong hand to slap it one more time before slowly rubbing your clit. Your hips jerked, but you forced them not to lift.

“You get so fuckin’ wet,” she whispered in awe, the sticky noises of your pussy filling the room as she played with it. “Hear that? Shit.”

“Missed you s-so much— “ 

“Know you did.” 

You moaned her name, and she mockingly moaned yours back. It made you leak more. 

You felt her spread your lips open so she could watch your clit throb and jerk in need. You looked down and saw her eyes glued to your cunt, her freckled cheeks tinted red and her wet, pink lips parted. She looked up at you, smirking when she met your intrigued, needy eyes as she placed the vacant part of the vibrator over your clit.

“Like watching?” 

“Think so,” you shyly mumbled out. 

And then you felt the vibrations on your soaked bud. You gasped as your eyes closed. 

You felt her pull the toy away before she slapped your clit. You cried out as your eyes shot open to meet hers again.

“Watch me. Don’t close your eyes.” 

You jerkily nodded; You watched her so closely. She kissed your clit before spreading them with her fingers to bring the open part of the toy to your clit, trapping it inside once more. 

Your bud was surrounded by the pulsing sensations of the soft silicone and your eyes almost rolled back into your head, but you craved Ellie’s praise, her reassurance. You wanted to be good for her.

All you could do was moan and shudder and watch her.

“Feels good?” 

“Feels s’good, baby—” 

“Yeah? Want some more?” she said fondly with a filthy glare. 

You mumbled out a quiet yeah, wa’more! in between your pleas. 

She pressed another button on the toy, and the vibrations got stronger. Your cries got louder.

“Sloppy fucking pussy.” 

The tight pull in your gut was building, but you needed more. You wanted to pull on your nipples so bad but you fucking couldn’t! Why did you want your hands tied so badly? 

“El,” you barely got out between your heavy pants, “can you—mmh!” 

“What?” 

“T-ouch my tits? Please, m’right there!” 

She snickered at you before reaching up to slap one of them, leaving remnants of your slick on the soft skin. That wasn’t what you were expecting, but you want more of that! 

“Hit me more?” you keened, your eyes glossy.

“You asking?” she snickered, and you nodded so fast. 

She shook her head at you, “You’re gross.” 

For her! You’re so nasty for her her her—

You received another slap. And another. Then she reached up to dig her nails into your brown bud. You couldn’t stop your eyes from rolling back, it hurt so good.

“Shit, m’gonna cum!” 

“Uh huh.” 

All you could do was moan out warnings of s’coming! and I feel it! and yes! It built and built until you could taste it and—

 … Everything you felt stopped. And Ellie was laughing. You were going to cry. 

No… nonono—

“Told you to keep your eyes open.” 

“E-Ellie, please no, I can’t— “

“Y’know, I was hoping you could follow simple instructions,” she cut you off as she moved towards the pile again, grabbing her… fat fucking dick, yes finally yesyesyes—

And lube… and an emerald green buttplug with a matching… remote? Oh, fuck—

“You don’t know how to fucking listen, do you?” She tossed the items next to you before grabbing your shaky thighs to pull you closer to her, your head dropping onto the soft mattress. You laid flat on your back as she loomed over you, your legs on either side of her. 

She watched your twitchy hole produce more slick, “Don’t even need to get you ready, could just slip right in and fuck you how I want.” 

“Wan’you to! Wann’it so bad— “ 

“Yeah? Want me t’use you?” 

“Fuck yes! Yeah!” 

“Keep these fuckin’ legs open, then,” she grabbed her dick and stood to step into it, adjusting the straps securing them around her hips. She climbed back between your legs as she intensely stared at your tits. She looked so deep in thought, brows furrowed with her bottom lip between her teeth; What the hell was her evil brain conjuring up?!

She gave your breast one last burning slap that made you cry out before grabbing the lube off the bed. You watched as she ripped the cap off, pouring some into the palm of her hand to bring down to her dick to massage it into the ridges. Your walls were squeezing so tight, your pussy begging for whatever she was about to do.

You almost flatlined on her bed when she straddled you, climbing up your body until her dick rested between your tits, the lube she smeared all over it transferring to your skin. Her thick, wet tip was almost touching your chin, and all you could do was gape at it before slowly blinking up at her, meeting her burning gaze. She bit her lip as she slowly tipped the bottle of lube, letting the thick consistency land your chest before she rubbed it into your skin with her cock. You felt so fucking dirty! 

“Stick that tongue out,” she ordered deeply as she closed and tossed the lube bottle. 

Your lips parted on command, your tongue slowly sliding between the two of them. She grabbed your face in a tight grip before letting a line of spit slip out of her mouth and onto your tongue. You felt it slide down your tongue before you happily swallowed

it. You lolled your tongue out, silently asking for more with pleading eyes. 

She sneered at you before she did it again, getting it all over your chin and cheeks. You couldn’t stop the whimper that left your mouth. She let a blob out onto your tits, mixing with the lube. 

But then you felt a fiery hand come down on your cheek, your head flying to the side as you let out a choked gasp. Your thighs clamped together on instinct as your walls quivered at the sting. You felt her place a hand on the side of your head, keeping it still as her nails dug into your scalp. 

“G’na fuck these tits s’good,” you heard her groan out. Your cunt throbbed in desperation. 

“Wan’ you to!” 

“Beg me to,” she hissed at you. 

“Please, baby, pleasefuck’em!—“

You felt her squeeze both your wet tits in one tight hand before she forced her dick between them, both of you letting out moans in between the squelchy noises from your bodies.

Her grip in your hair tightened as you heard her pleased sighs, her slurred curses, her whines of your name, why were you getting so tight, why did it feel like you were about to cum—

“Fuuuck, babygirl, feels s’fuckin’ good—!”

“E-El, please— “

“Yeah? What does my girl need? Wan’ some fuckin’ attention?” You hated how hard your core squeezed at her belittling tone. You nodded as fast as you could in her tight grasp. 

“Not g’na til I cum, you’re gonna fuckin’ lay there’n let me do what I want, tha’s what you wanted right? Huh?” 

More hot tears were falling to your hairline as you quietly sobbed and pleaded for her to touch your pussy, but she wasn’t hearing any of it. She released the grip she had on your head, but she just shoved her drenched, lubricated fingers into your mouth. Your eyes fluttered shut as you hummed around them, sucking them deeper.

“Gonna fuck that throat so hard one day, swear to god.” 

You hummed and garbled pleas around them in excitement. 

“Shit! Need that? Just wan’ something in that pretty mouth?”  

You nodded, you kept nodding, you want anything she’ll give you. 

“G’na fucking cum, all over that gorgeous face,” she gritted out as she snatched her fingers from your mouth. Her wet hand flew to your tits, pushing them closer together so that she could fuck her dick into the little hole she tightened. 

“W-Wan’ your cum, daddy!” you encouraged her as you watched, you needed her to cum!

“Shit, baby, stick your tongue out,” she whined out as she grinded her dick between your tits. Your eyes opened and your tongue immediately started swiping across her tip whenever it came up to your mouth. Her hips jolted and stuttered on top of you as she watched you, and you watched her. You hurriedly sucked her rubber tip into your mouth and sucked sloppily like you were trying to milk her. You knew she couldn’t feel the suctions, but you saw her eyes roll back into her skull as she let out a loud moan. She was bucking her hips into her strap as her nails dug into your tits. You kept the tip in your mouth as she rode out her pleasure. 

She looked so pretty and soft: fluttery lids, swollen lips, and her dotted cheeks flushed as quiet whines left her mouth. So pretty, she’s so fucking pretty—

Her tip suddenly slipped from your mouth as she scooted down your body. 

“K-Kiss?” you asked softly, voice unsteady.

She didn’t say anything as she leaned down to connect your lips. It was light and careful, both of you breathing into each other's whines. She made sure to check on you, mumbling an okay? against your mouth. You whined out a yesyeah m’okay before you reconnected your lips. 

You kissed for what felt like hours before she sat up to move off you. 

“W-Wan’more,” you mumbled with pleading expression. 

“Okay, babe.” 

You watched as she scooted down, shuffling until she was between your legs. She held one of them up with a hand under your knee to press it to your chest, playing with your entrance with her free hand. You felt her slide a finger in and your mouth fell open, your walls clinging to her the deeper she prodded. You were stunned at how fast she found that spongy spot inside you, and you squeezed her tighter. 

“Loosen up, can barely fucking move.”

You couldn’t do anything except wail out incoherencies about how fast you were going to cum, and you felt her slide another finger in. 

“Nuh uh, hold it.” 

“Can’t, Ellie, fuck— “

“Yeah you can, hold that shit.” 

You tried you tried, but you couldn’t. All you could get out was a cry of stop, baby! stopstopstop before your peak washed over you. 

But the pleasure left as fast as it came as she pulled out with a tsk, another slap landing on your pulsing clit. You sobbed her name, tears running down your temples.

“Couldn’t even hold it for a few seconds?” She scolded, and it made you and your pussy cry harder. 

“Stop crying,” you felt her releasing the tight grip from under your knee to softly wipe your tears off your face. “Look at me.” 

Your glossy eyes slowly peeled open, taking in the sight above you.

“Good?” she asked softly, and you nodded with a whimper of m’okay, El, I like it so much! please fuck me!

“Yeah? Babygirl wants some dick?” 

“Yes! Pleasefuckmee—!”

You let out a groan when you felt her dick slap on your pulsing bud. You were spewing pleas and curses and cries of her name; you wanted her inside! Wanted to feel her so deep in your stomach! 

You couldn’t help but lift your head to look down at her cock sliding between your folds, her thick tip nudging your clit with every thrust.

How were you about to cum from that alone? Your eyes were fluttering from the pleasure. You whimpered out a warning of your impending orgasm.

“You gonna cum from this? M’barely doing anything.” 

You couldn’t speak, you just nodded. Your mind was hazy and racing with thoughts of her at the same time, your core clenching tight. Yeah, you were going to cum! 

“Daddy—!” 

“Fuuuck yeah, need me, baby?” 

Your eyes rolled back so far back you swore you could see your brain shaking its head at you in disappointment, and you came so fucking hard. You felt her tip push past your spasming entrance as she quickly rubbed your clit with her thumb as it hit you. That stretch made you scream, and your head fell back. 

“S’so big!” You couldn’t even register what you were saying, your burning orgasm taking over your mouth. 

“Gonna be my good girl’n take it? Gonna make me proud?” Her voice sent another wave through your body as it shook in painful pleasure. 

“Yeah, daddy, m’your good girl!” 

“Then lemme in, love, c’mon,” she whispered out over your moans and groans and squeals. Your orgasm was still ripping through your body, your wetness dripping down your ass and onto the new puddle on the blanket. She was tearing you open with every shallow thrust, but you took every ridged, veiny inch like you were meant to. 

“Good, baby? Talk t’me,” she said gently, halting her thrusts as she caressed your thigh.

“M’sti—m’stillcummimg—! “

She scoffed a wet laugh at you and went even deeper, “I feel it, squeezing the fuck outta me. Dirty fucking whore.” 

You felt the balls of the strap resting against your ass as you slowly came down. She was all the way in, slowly pulling out only to push back in. Her tits were slightly jiggling in her bra every time she bottomed out. Your hands wriggled in the fabric; you wanted them in your mouth so bad. 

“Wan’touch you, daddy, please?” you moaned out in a gasp as she fucked back into you, stretching you out. 

“Touch me where?” She asked, thrusting deeper. 

“Mmh! Your tits, please!”

She huffed smugly before fucking into you faster. She brought her hand up to her chest, squeezing one of them through her bra, “These tits?” 

“Yeaah, fuck!” You could already feel another orgasm twisting in your gut at the painful stretch. 

She mumbled out an uh huh as she slowly pulled the elastic up, her breasts slowly dropping out. She slowed her thrusts and brought her other hand to pull the cotton over her head, throwing her head back as both hands played with her nipples. Her moaning made you moan and fuck, you were in love! 

“Lemme go, El, fuck!” you pleaded, your hands pulling at the restraints. How was such fragile cloth so resistant!

“Shit, baby, feels s’fucking good,” you watched her pull and twist them as she whimpered your name as she ignored you. She’d stopped thrusting to play with herself, only slowly grinding her hips into you, so you planted your feet on the bed to thrust your hips downward, clumsily bouncing up and down on her dick as you watched her. 

She looked down at you and sneered, “Yeah? Wanna fuck me?” 

“Yes, w’na make you cum, daddy.” 

“Here, baby, gimme your hands,” you halted your movements bringing your arms to hers. She tore the knot in your panties and tossed them before slowly pulling out fully, a nasty shhlck! filling the room. You were so wet. 

She leaned above you, reaching over your head to grab some pillows, setting them beside you. Her tits were in your face, so you slowly brought an inexperienced hand up to touch one softly. You gave it a gentle squeeze, bringing your other hand up to rub into the other. She let out a satisfied sigh of your name. You leaned up, boldly taking a soft nipple into your mouth. You sucked at it softly as your eyes fluttered shut, swirling your tongue around the sensitive skin. 

“Shit, tha’s so good,” she moaned out before pulling at your now sweated out hair. You gave her one last hard suck before your head fell back on the bed, her mouth instantly connecting with yours in a spit-filled, smacking kiss. Her tongue was sliding all over yours before you sucked it into your mouth, making her moan into your mouth. She brought her hand up to wrap around your throat, gently squeezing the sides. She pulled back with a look of concern on her face, grip immediately loosening at your whimper, but you brought a hand up to cover hers on your throat, squeezing tighter. Your eyes nearly crossed when she hummed with a knowing smirk, pressing her middle finger and thumb into the sides again. She pulled away, licking your bottom lip before bending down to whisper in your ear. 

“Turn over.” 

You stumblingly flipped onto your stomach as she shoved two plush pillows under your hips to support them, even though you were poking your ass out towards her anyway. You felt her slap it playfully before kissing it. 

You felt her hands pulling your cheeks apart like she told you to do to yourself earlier. You felt her staring and it made your heart beat faster. 

“Okay, El?” 

“Mhm, just looking.” 

You looked at her over your shoulder, “You can… um… y’know?” 

“No, I don’t know,” she snickered. 

“What… what you said earlier?” 

“What’d I say?” 

“About me! The thing you said!” 

“Want me t’eat your ass?” She said in between kisses on your cheek. She was grinning so hard. 

“…Y-yes?” 

“Then ask me.” 

You looked forward with a harsh sigh, “You’re so annoyi— “

A tight hand grabbed your hair to pull your head back roughly. You let out a pained moan at the ceiling before you felt her lips at your ear, “What’d I tell you about that fuckin’ mouth?” 

You instinctively pushed back on her with a whine of m’sorry daddy!

“No, you’re not, you keep talking shit’n it’s pissing me off. I’ve been trying to be nice t’you.” 

Nice?! She almost made you black out with one orgasm! 

You didn’t have a response, but your eyes actually did cross when you felt a thumb prod your ass. 

“Should just shove m’dick in here, huh? I bet that’d get you to shut the fuck up,” she spat out and your back arched deeper at her proposal.

You felt another glob of spit land on your other hole, her thumb immediately circling it before popping the tip of it in. You let out a loud moan at the intrusive sting. 

“Been wanting me to fuck this ass since I said it, haven’t you?” She rasped at you. 

“Yeah!“

“Yeah!” She mocked you in a squeaky tone. “You’re disgusting, who woulda thought you would like this type of shit.” 

Her thumb was fucking in and out of your hole as fast as she could manage. You shouldn’t like how much it hurts, that burn shouldn’t be making your orgasm build up again. 

She let your hair go and your head flopped onto the pillow in front of you. Your nails dug into it when you felt her dick line up at the entrance of your pussy before she shoved it in. You let out a muffled shout.

You didn’t have a chance to adjust before she started fucking into you hard. Squelchy noises, slaps of skin, and your screams of pleasure immediately filled the room, her headboard knocking against the black walls. It was so fast and hot and made you feel cheap, and you fucking loved it. It made you feel desired. 

“This is what you wanted me to do in that fuckin’ closet?” 

“Yeah, daddy, fuck!” 

“Wanted me t’fuck you up? Make you m’fucking bitch?” 

“Uggh! El—!”

“Shouldn’t even be fucking you in this bed,” She groaned out, grinding her thumb deep into your ass.

“Should’ve bent you over that dinner table, right in front of that fucker.” 

The imagery of Ellie fucking into you in front of your asshole of a waiter, making you scream out in front of everyone eating and drinking, claiming you as hers so that they know who you belong to made you see white. You bit down on the pillow in front of you as bursts of wetness left your cunt and splattered onto your thighs, the pillows, and Ellie’s dick. But she didn’t stop, you felt her go faster. Hit deeper.

“M’cu-mming!” you screamed, shouts of prickling pleasure muffled by the material in your mouth.

“Yeah? Tha’s making you cum? Wanna get fucked in public like a whore?” 

“D-ahh! Fuckme!”

“Baby’s so stupid for this dick,” Her tip was hitting your fucking cervix and it hurt so good. You were about to cum again! “Who’s pussy is this?” 

“S’your pussy! S’daddy’s pussy!” 

“Keep sayin’ that, s’gonna make me cum so hard,” she groaned out, her thumb leaving your ass and ripping the pillows from underneath you, your hips dropping onto the bed. You felt her push back into you, her chest on your back as she grinded deep into you. Her arm came around your neck, your throat right in the crevice of her elbow as you let the pillow fall from your mouth. Your nails were digging into the covers as your cunt gushed on her.

“You’re getting so fucking wet. Like when I fuck you up? Treat you like shit?” 

“Yeah yeahyeah—!” 

“Make me cum, babygirl,” she whispered in your ear. “Fuck me back, c’mon.” 

You pushed back onto her as best as you could as she grinded forward, even though it was quick and sloppy and desperate. She started moaning out fucks and like thats and all you could mumble out was slurry s’yours, daddy! because you knew she liked it. Her voice on its own was getting you there.

“Fuck, m’gonna fucking cum— “

“Uh huh! Cum in me, daddy pleasepleaseplease!” you squealed out in dazed excitement. You want her cum you want her cum! 

“Fuuuck, babygirl, s’coming—!”

“Please make my p-pussy sloppy?” you could barely get your pleas out as your mind fogged. You couldn’t even bring yourself to feel embarrassed at your eagerness for her cum, and by the way Ellie shouted your name in your ear as her body shook on top of yours, she must’ve somewhat liked it? Right? 

Your second thoughts quickly died as you fucked back onto her, helping her ride out her orgasm. She was crying out as her nails dug into your shoulder, and the sharp pierce made you cum again! You let out babbles of her name in your pleasure. You were both messes in each other's arms, you pushing back while she pushed forward, trying to make it last as long as you could before it died down.

You let out wet groans as she grinded you both to the ends of your orgasms, and you collapsed. 

You felt a light kiss on your shoulder before Ellie gently pulled out of you, falling onto the bed so that you were side by side. You both tried to catch your breath in your exhaustion. 

After minutes of heavy breathing and light caresses from Ellie, you reached under to grab the object that was digging into your side. When you saw what it was, your eyes widened, and stomach twisted. 

You heard Ellie laugh softly next to you, “We didn’t get to use it.” 

You paused as you stared at the buttplug that she’d thrown on the bed, the faux emerald at the end of it shining under the green fairy lights. 

“It’s pretty,” you said in a hoarse whisper. 

“Mhm,” she nodded. “Feels good, too.” 

Your toes curled.

“What’s it feel like?” 

She smiled, “You sound cute when you ask that.” 

You shook your head and grinned shyly, “I’m just curious, I assume it’s… nice, or whatever! People on Twitter always talk about it.” 

“Yeah, it’s really fucking nice.” 

“Have you used it?” She nodded. 

“Course I have, used all of ‘em.” 

“Tell me what happened!” you said, dropping the toy on the bed before giddily flipping onto your side to face her. It made her giggle; You loved that sound. 

“I was… like in this sex shop in Cali, and the cashier was like ‘heyyy, your orders over a hundred dollars, you can get a free item, blah blah blah’— “ 

“Not that, you bonehead! I mean when you use it!” You both let out loud laughs. 

Her smile dropped slowly before she whispered, “Came really fuckin’ hard the first time I tried it, like… really hard. Swore I saw god.” 

Your core squeezed in intrigue. You listened closely as she continued, “Like, I was still cumming even after I switched it off. There was a giant puddle on the floor when I finally stopp—.” 

“Ellie?” you softly cut her off.

“Yeah, honey?” 

“Can you… will you… I wanna try?” you said as your face burned, hoping she would accept your poor proposal to take your… other virginity. 

You watched a sly grin slowly grow on her face.

“Lemme go check on Duchess’n smoke.” 

You nodded slowly with a fluttery blink. 

It was almost midnight, and you were laying next to Ellie on her couch in her Lauryn Hill shirt as you nursed a bottle of water. You watched as she exhaled the smoke from her pre-roll. 

After chasing Duchess around the kitchen and living room, you both covered her in kisses before filling her food bowl and shutting the guest door as she ate. 

“Such a nice view,” you mumbled as you gazed out the large window. You’d never been fond of the city: you always appreciated the stillness of your town, the close community where everyone knew each other, but the scenery in front of you almost makes you want to change your mind. It was always so lively and bright, even in the darkness. 

“Right? When I first moved in, I slept in front of the window for weeks. The noise helped me sleep a bit better and the lights are pretty,” She said quietly before taking a puff. You listened and watched as she exhaled the smoke. You sat your bottle on the floor before speaking.

“Can I try?” 

“You know how?” She asked impishly with a raise of her brow as the remnants of her puff left her mouth and nose. 

“Fuck you! I know how to smoke, I just choose not to!” 

“Right,” she said with an eye roll, gently tapping the ashes off on the ashtray in front of her before passing the joint to you. 

You propped yourself up on your elbows before taking it between your thumb and pointer finger, watching the smoke leave the lit end before sticking it between your lips. You only inhaled for a couple seconds before pulling it from your mouth, softly coughing. 

You slowly turned your head to look at her for approval, finding that she was already watching you. Her hair was still damp from earlier, her lips were swollen, and she was still in her boyshorts. 

“Meh. Still a fucking rookie,” she said in a light tone as she wet her lips. You shoved her shoulder with yours, making her laugh. 

“That strain’s supposed to make you horny,” she whispered, attempting to grab the joint from you. Something nasty curled in your gut at her tone, mindlessly bringing the joint back to your lips and inhaled some more before she could snatch it. You held it much longer than the first puff before choking on the carbon, making her laugh at you. You felt her pat your back gently through your coughs. You passed it back to her and she took it with a shake of her head. 

After she smoked her joint down, she bolted upstairs, swiftly returning to the couch with full hands. 

You flipped onto your back as she pressed the button on the buttplug remote, and it immediately started pulsing. She smirked down at you. 

“There’s a couple settings, we can try ‘em all and see which one you like the most, ‘kay?” 

You nodded eagerly as she switched it off and threw the toy on the couch next to her dick and flavored lube. She straddled you, grabbing your face in both hands to connect your lips in a soft kiss. You hummed into her mouth before she pulled away. 

“Lemme give you head first, though.” 

“S-sure.” 

She hummed before smacking her wet lips onto yours. She planted wet, sucking kisses on your jaw, neck, and shoulder before she moved down your body. She lifted the shirt you had on just under your tits before she went crazy on your clit. She was flicking and licking and sucking between your legs as your fingers ran through her soft hair to pull her closer. Your moans and noises of your pussy as she fucked you with her tongue and fingers filled the entire first floor of her home. You came so quickly on her tongue, squeezing the muscle and fingers in a bone-crushing grip. You could tell she liked it as much as you did by how she moaned into your cunt. 

After you came down, Ellie instructed you to hold your legs up so she could see your ass. They were pressed to your chest, both your arms tucked into the crevice of your knees as Ellie prepped you for the toy. 

She’d rubbed some of your cum in before she spat on it, and now she was drenching her fingers and opening in the lubricant as you watched. 

“Just relax, ‘kay?” 

“Yeah,” you nodded. You were a bit nervous, but your walls were clenching with want. 

She nodded before gently rubbing your drenched hole with her pointer and middle finger, making you sigh. You felt her slowly push a finger in and you immediately started to squirm. Your body was so hot already. 

“Okay?” She asked you gently. 

“Yeah m’good,” you said in a wanton sigh. 

She grinned before kissing the back of your thigh. You felt another finger at your entrance before a burning sensation took over when she slowly pressed it in, and your head dropped onto the cushion in a choked gasp. 

“Yeah? You like this shit?” She asked snarkily, but shock was evident in her voice. 

“Y-yeah, El, like it!”

“So fucking cute, gonna fuck this ass so hard,” she whispered out, grinding her fingers deeper before pulling them out to squirt more lube on them. 

She slowly pushed them back in and the lack of resistance made your toes curl. 

“Do me a favor?” 

“M-mhm?”

“Get that nice’n wet for me,” she said, shoving the emerald plug in between your twitchy fingers. You gripped it tight, releasing the hold you had on your legs so you could spread them. You brought your free hand down to your drippy cunt to spread the lips, exposing your clit. You slowly dragged the toy up and down your folds, a quiet, squishy sound joining the already sloppy noises in the room from Ellie’s fingers in your ass. 

You could see her watching with a blush on her face, licking her lips as she prodded another finger at your clenching opening. You could feel the stretch more as she slowly popped the tip of it in, so you distracted yourself. You propped yourself on one elbow to bring the plug down to the entrance of your cunt, slowly fucking it into you. The silicone ridges dragged on your walls, and it made your eyes roll as you moaned softly. Ellie let out a shocked moan as she watched you fuck the plug in and out of your pussy. She leaned forward to spit on your clit, and you brought your shaky hand down to rub it. She mumbled curses out. 

“Thinking about me fucking this pretty pussy? Wan’me t’split you open again?” She hummed out messily. She was just as fucked up as you were, and it made you squeeze. 

“Yeah, daddy,” you moaned out softly, fucking the toy into yourself faster as Ellie fucked three fingers into your ass. “Shit!” 

“Uh huh, nasty slut, look at you milking that fuckin’ toy.” 

You picked up the pace of your shallow thrusts and she matched you, fucking even harder into your ass. You brainlessly brought your wet fingers up to your tits, roughly grabbing at both your nipples in attempts to mimic Ellie’s hands on you. You felt the familiar pull in your gut, but it was so much stronger, and you knew it was going to hit you hard. You were going to cum so quick! 

“Ellie,” you could barely get your squeaky warning out, “Thi-think m’gonna, g’na make a m-ess!” 

“Yeah, wan‘it baby, make me wet— “

“M’gonna—!”

You cut yourself off with a sharp gasp as colors exploded behind your eyelids, the hand at your tits slamming onto the cushion to dig your nails into it. Your shouts of pleasure overtook the sputtering sounds of wetness that shot out of you. You pulled the toy out and rubbed quick circles on your clit with it, making you release more juices all over Ellie’s expensive couch. She didn’t even seem to care with how hard she was still fucking your ass, whispering nasty curses at you, talking you through it, calling you sloppy, calling you hers. Your legs were trembling as both holes quivered in release. 

Your sprays were starting to die down with the circles on your clit, Ellie’s fingers slowing. 

Your eyes slowly peeled open, and you were met with her… high ass ceiling! You smiled as you felt her place kisses all over your thighs. 

“Tired?” she mumbled out against your knee. 

You slowly shook your head when you regained your ability to move.

“Wan’more.”

And she smirked. 

Ellie moved you onto your stomach, —if she kept fucking you like this, you were going to die! — your face shoved into her cushion so you were surrounded by her scent. Your ass was, once again, propped up on Ellie’s expensive fucking pillows that you were about to stain with your sopping cunt, but neither of you cared. She was lubricating the plug from behind you, the gooey noises from the slippery liquid filling your ears. 

You should’ve never hit that fucking aphrodisiac of a joint when she passed it to you: you never wanted to have sex so fucking bad in your life. You just lost your virginity a few hours ago; What’s happening to you?!

You couldn’t think of anything except Ellie and cumming and Ellie’s cum! You wanted her cum inside you so bad, you want to drown in her with every chance she’d give you—

“Ready, baby?” 

“Yes, daddy, m’ready, need it s’bad,” you muffled into the cushion, your cheek squished against it. You sounded so… far away. 

“Listen t’you, all floaty,” she murmured. You could hear her grin through it, it made your toes curl, “Feelin’ good?” 

“S’good, daddy, fuck me please?” 

“…Look at me, babe.” 

You used all your energy to lift yourself up onto your elbows turning your sweaty, thoughtless head towards her, gazing over your shoulder and into her gentle, concerned eyes. She’s so beautiful—

“Baby?” 

“Hm?” 

“Why're you smilin’?” 

“M’happy,” you felt yourself grin harder. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm,” you nodded lightly. “W’na fuck.” 

“‘Kay,” she nodded, her searching gaze still lingering on your face. “Tap my thigh twice.” 

You reached a limp hand behind you, immediately following her instructions. 

“You do that when you wanna stop, okay?” You nodded, you felt like a bobble head. You want her in your guts now. 

“What're you gonna do when you wanna stop?” 

You paused.

Then tapped her thigh twice. You dropped your head on the cushion again. 

You felt her kiss down your back. You sighed happily. 

She slowly rubbed your clit and you jolted, before pushing your hips back onto her fingers. She was planting gentle kisses all over your back and shoulders to relax you. You let out a whine at the feel of her lips on you. 

Then you felt the silicone on your hole. You moaned into the cushion in excitement and anticipation, you needed it to pulse inside you so badly. 

“What’re gonna do when you wanna stop?” She repeated, her breathing heavy. 

You slapped her thigh a bunch of times. You needed her to know you wanted it. You needed this so badly! You needed to know she wanted you!

Then you felt her pop the tip of it inside you. You cried out in appreciation as your holes clenched tight, trying to suck the toy deeper into you. She was pressing soft kisses all over your spine as she slowly pushed it in. You hadn’t realized that you were grinding your clit into the soft fabric of the pillow under you.  

“Such a good girl, taking it so easy,” You felt her push the last little part of it inside your ass before the little jewel at the end of it was poking out of you. It was so foreign, but you couldn’t help the satisfied sighs and soft cries as you pussy dripped all over her pillows and couch. 

You felt her plant one more kiss at the end of your spine before you felt the vibrations stir in your ass. 

“Fuck, oh god! M’—aah!”

“Yeah? Feels fucking good, doesn’t it?” 

You didn’t even have the ability to think of an answer before you felt her dick poke at the entrance of your cunt, slowly sliding in. Every wire in your brain went into overdrive as the pulsing of the toy and her cock rattled your insides in unison. She was slowly fucking her dick into you, sliding in deep so her tip bumped into your cervix, making you let out a muffled shout into the couch cushion. 

“Fuckmedaddywan’itharder—!”

Your quick babbles were cut off as she sped up her thrusts, both her hands planted at the end of your back so she could rock you back and forth on her dick. She was drilling you, your slick coating the balls of her strap. You felt yourself slowly drifting away, your eyes crossed in your head and drool spilling down your cheek. All you could think about was Ellie. EllieEllieEllie—!

“M’right here, babygirl, I gotchu,” she cooed at you as she dug you out and you went limp. You heard the gushy sounds of your pussy and fuck, you were going to squirt so hard you felt it in your toes—

You felt the vibrations in your ass increase and you let out shouts of bliss, her tip beating your cervix just how you needed with every thrust. For the first time in your life, your brain was silent: no doubt, no loathing, no anxiety. Just pure ecstasy. You felt so fucking full. Full of her and joy and love! You love her and you never wanted her to leave you again. You love her you love her—

“M’yours, daddy, promise!” Tears pricked at your eyes as that hot feeling grew in your stomach. Your heart was pounding, and you couldn’t think, you just rambled as pleasure and happiness and love rushed through you. You were about to cum, all over her, all for her—!

“Shhh, I know, baby, it’s okay— “

“Don’t wan’anyone else! M’yours, always yours!”

You don’t remember when, but Ellie had pulled out of you. And the vibrations stopped. But you were still riding that edge, this close to your peak. Your fists clenched tight, and your hips bucked back to meet hers even though she wasn’t there to catch them. You heard Ellie gently call out your name from your side as she rubbed your back in attempts to slow your fuzzy babbling, “Look at m— “

“Always loved you, daddy, always been you, m’yours, m’all you— “

You cut yourself off with moans of her name and incoherent shouts and sobs of love you so much! I love you! as your orgasm ripped through you. Your thighs trembled as colorful specs of glitter exploded in your vision. You heard yourself screaming out as wetness splattered all over you and the couch and everywhere, and it didn’t stop. Your euphoria was so strong, your clenching cunt spraying as your ass squeezed around the plug shoved deep inside you. You were just shaking and crying and cumming and cumming and cumming—

You don’t know how much time passed, but you were still shaking as tears rolled down your cheeks. You couldn’t feel the plug inside you and Ellie’s strap was gone: you were pressed against her bare chest, your tits pressed together as she held you close. She was rubbing your back as she pressed gentle kisses to the side of your sweaty head, gently humming in your ear. You slowly brought your arm up to limply throw around her waist. You couldn’t say anything.

“Hi, honey,” She barely whispered in your ear. “Can you look at me?” 

You slowly shook your head. You felt her kiss your head again. 

“S’fine, just breath, okay?” 

You nodded again. And your eyes welled up some more. 

She must’ve heard your sniffling because she immediately pulled back to gently caress your cheek. You tried to turn your head to hide in the cushion, but she wasn’t having it. 

“C’mon angel, it’s just me, okay?”

You slowly redirected your gaze to hers, your vision blurry as you studied her features. You cried harder, sobbing as you nestled into her shoulder. 

She didn’t press you after that, she only held you tighter. She whispered gentle shhhs and s’okay, baby, m’heres as you wept into her sweaty skin. 

You know she heard your confession of your long-lasting feelings for her, and even though she didn’t seem upset with you, you couldn’t shake the embarrassment, confusion, and despair that overtook you. 

But she held you. She held you so tight. 

After your gasped sobs eased into soft whimpers and shaky exhales, Ellie guided you upstairs and into her bathroom, strong arms wrapped around your waist to steady your uncoordinated movements. 

She lifted you onto the counter and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before moving to the shower to turn it on. All you did was stare at her black towel hanging from the wall rack. You still couldn’t think. 

You heard her shuffling around before she moved back to you, easily easing you off the counter and into the shower, making sure to place you under the warm water first. 

You gaped at the droplets sliding down the shower wall and she rubbed the lathered sponge into your skin softly. She littered you with kisses the entire time: on your face, shoulder, fingers, anywhere she could reach. But you couldn’t move, and neither of you said anything. 

After Ellie rinsed you off, she gently dried your coils and face while kissing your nose. You allowed her to wrap you in a towel, gently drying off the rest of your body as you looked off into nothing. 

“C’mon, honey,” she whispered into your ear as she moved behind you, holding onto your waist and walking you to her bed to sit you down, her soiled blanket already discarded on the floor. 

It seemed like everything was moving in slow motion as you gazed around her room: the lights were twinkling like fireflies, her fan in the corner of the room whirring like gusts of wind in your ears, the strings of the rug under your feet reminding you of clouds. 

She softly called your name as she walked in front of you. Your legs fell open so she could stand between them, “Look at me.” 

You took a deep breath before meeting her tender gaze. She cupped your cheeks, softly rubbing her thumbs into them, “You needa eat and drink something, okay? Want some water?” 

You nodded.

“Is it okay if I leave for a sec— “

You shook your head quickly as tears filled your eyes at the thought of her leaving. You need her close, you need her here with you—

“Shhh, not gonna go, not leaving, I’m right here,” she comforted immediately, planting more kisses all over your face. 

“Want some clothes?” You shook your head, and she nodded gently. She gave your lips one more kiss before ushering you to stand. She walked over to her dresser and grabbed her pine-scented lotion and ointment. She moved behind you, rubbing the soothing cream on your ass before moisturizing your skin, the pine surrounding you. You calmed down at the smell.

“Okay, baby, come lay down.” 

She grabbed your wrist gently as she moved you to your side, telling you to lay on your stomach as she pulled a new blanket from her linen cabinet. You obeyed silently. 

You were instantly surrounded by warmth as she tucked you into her forest-scented covers. You heard her shuffling behind you before she walked around to her side in a new pair of boxers. 

She laid next to you, pulling you into her chest as you breathed her in, sighing contently into her skin. She smelled so fucking good! You grinned.

She must’ve felt it as she pressed kisses to your head, “What’re you cheesing for?” 

You shook your head and grinned harder, nestling deeper into her neck. She laughed lightly. 

“We’ll talk in the morning, okay?” She whispered out to you.

You nodded, eyes shut. 

You dreamt of pine-filled meadows. 

OOOOOOWEEEE alright bookies that’s it :p i already got ideas 4 the next part LOOOOOL so yeah gonna start writing that soon. hope y’all liked it and the wait 4 the real smut was worth it. lots to comeeee 

hope its proofread enough lol i always think that it is n then i go back and see a bunch of errors

pt. 6

shoutout to my wittle taglist🥺 love yall so bad n thank u for being interested in this little project i created :D @fandomshitpostingqueen, @nymphetkoo, @sawaagyapong , @gold-dustwomxn , @amitycat , @nil-eena , @elsivy , @constellieationn , @letsreadsomesins-shallwe :3

[t3ag3rs]

g e n s o - 0 2.

your body jolts up as you feel yourself on the verge of passing out.

you quickly glance up at your teacher to see if he noticed you sleeping in his class, sighing quietly when you notice he was turned to the board.

you itched your most recent cut, wincing slightly as it hurt. at least its somewhat healing.. you thought to yourself staring at the scar. you rubbed your eyes to fight the sleep trying to consume you. 

god its like im tired everywhere else except when its time to actually sleep..

you bounced your knee up and down waiting for the time to go by quicker. you couldnt wait to get out of this goddamn academy. why were all last days filled with sappy goodbyes and hugs? you couldnt wait to go home and take a nice long nap.

no more stressing out over school work. no more sleepless nights. no more burn outs.

that sounded like absolute heaven.

ring, ring, ring!

you jumped out of your seat and rushed home. you finally had months to actually prepare for the UA entrance exam. you had to make it in.

you promised him you would.

─── ⋆���☆⋅⋆ ───

"mom! can you please call bakugous mom and ask if they can come over? its been so long!" you pleaded once you got home. "fine.. let me call them" sighed out your mom, going to grab the phone.

you watched giddily as she called, "hey, do you think you could come over with bakugou today? y/n finally got out of school and wants to see him" she asked, you saw as her lips form a tight line, "oh.. i see.. its okay then! take care! " she ended the call.

"im afraid bakugou cant come over, she said he wanted to train for the entrance exam and nothing else." she continued but you werent listening.

he didnt want to see you.

after all these years of waiting patiently to see him was for nothing. he didnt care about your friendship with him. he just wanted to train and be a hero.

like always.

 "izuku could probably come over though.. are you even listening y/n??" your mother questioned. you snapped out of your trance, "o-oh yeah! sure we can do that!" you replied, not even knowing what you were agreeing to. 

 "good! izuku will be able to come tomorrow so i suggest you take a bath, eat early, and head to bed to get some good rest. no more school until that entrance exam, i know you wont let us down." she smiled and ruffled your hair.

 you smiled back and nodded. you werent planning on failing it anyways. even if bakugou didnt value your friendship anymore, you still made yourself a promise. you were going to make it in whether you liked it or not.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you showered quickly and went downstairs to get some water. you looked at the food hungrily, but your mind said otherwise. 

are you really going to eat? you already had so much food yesterday. its best you skip eating today so you wont gain much weight. 

you looked down at your stomach and sighed as it rumbled, aching for food. one night cant hurt right? you turned away from the food and got a water bottle getting ready to sleep.

you walked into your room and placed the water bottle on your nightstand and turned off the lights. you let out a yawn and layed down, falling asleep right as your head hit the pillow.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

the next day you woke up and did your morning routine. you couldnt help but be excited to see izuku after 3 years. 

as the doorbell rang you rushed to open the door and let out a gasp when you saw how much the green haired boy changed. you hugged him and smiled, "izu! oh my gosh ive missed you so much!" you pulled away and stared at him, "you look so mature now!"

 he let out a small laugh, "i can say the same to you y/n! its been so long!" you stepped aside and welcomed him in. you walked up with him into your bedroom and sat down, "how was the last three years? is bakugou still a bully to you?" you ask.

 he looks down sadly, "he hasnt changed much.. if anything its gotten worse. his egos so big now..!" he lets out a chuckle and scratches his neck, "just yesterday he burned my hero notebook and threw it in the fish pond outside the school..!"

 you gasped, "what? i cant believe he did that! hes changed so much..." he looked down and continued, "that wasnt the worst part... he told me to take a swan dive off the roof if i wanted a quirk that bad.." you felt the anger boil in you.

 "he said WHAT?" you asked in disbelief, "i cant believe i was friends with that piece of shit! and he said he wanted to focus on training instead of talkinh to me after 3 years! i cant believe he wants to be a hero with an attitude like that!" you yelled.

 "its not that big of a deal..! besides... we both got into a villain attack yesterday and guess who saved us?? all might!!" he started fanboying about all the things he did, but you were too busy thinking about how horrible bakugou had became.

"but poor kacchan.. the villian was really going to take over him.. it was scary to look at.." he rambled, "still! its no excuse to hows hes been acting! but your lucky you got to see all might! i wouldve fainted if i actually saw him! " you exclaimed.

 "exactly! but thats not the point, he said i could become a hero too!" he smiled, you looked at him confused "how..?" he looked at his hands and then back at you.

 "promise me you wont tell anyone" you nodded and swore, "all mights quirk was given to him, he wasnt born with it. he told me he would train me so that he could pass on his quirk to me!" your mind went blank.

 "how is that even possible? you cant inherit a quirk! thats not how things work. if its true how come none of the scientists have figured it out yet?" you rambled, "im not sure, but i can finally become a hero now! its all ive wanted, and to top it off i can be trained by the worlds greatest hero!"

 you couldnt help but smile and feel happy for him. all he ever wanted was to be a hero and now it could finally come true. "im happy for you izu! we can try out for UA together!" he smiled and let out a sound of agreement. "maybe we can train together under all might! im sure he'll like you, but just be warned he doesnt always look muscular... he has a whole different body when his quirk runs out.." 

 you found out just exactly what he meant the next day when you met him and all might at the beach.

"so y/n.. this is all might" he said pointing at a man who look like a drug-addict, but then suddenly changed to the all might you saw on tv. "what the actual fuck" you gasped, "told you to be warned..! all might i want you to meet y/n l/n, my best friend of many years!" 

you took a deep bow at his direction, "im thankful to be able to train under you, and for you to trust me with knowing about your identity and izukus new quirk" all might grinned, "of course kiddo, now whats your quirk?" 

 "i have the ability to control elements, so far its mainly the usual four; water, fire, air, earth. im most comfortable with water, and least with earth. each of my elements have its own drawback." he nods as you speak, "you both definitely need to start strength training more as your quirks will be powerful."

 "so lets get started!"

at that moment you had started the ten months of absolute torture. 

everyday was spent working harder than before. a meal plan that was composed so that your every meal had enough protein to not only loose the unwanted body fat, but to also build the needed muscle for your quirk. a sleep schedule so that you woke up everyday with enough energy to train the 5 gruesome hours every morning, and extra if you felt up to it.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

finally it was the morning of the long awaited entrance exam. you watched as deku screamed and let out every nerve he had in him. "i have to admit it.. you two have genuinely surprised me by cleaning the entire beach! " exclaimed all might.

he pulled up a photo of you two from the first day you started, "you two have definitely gotten stronger and you y/n, have grown more experienced with your quirk. young midoriya you have now worked your body enough to inherit my quirk... eat this." he handed deku a strand of his hair and you gagged silently.

 "to inherit my quirk you need to consume some of my dna" he explained, "theres no time to explain! eat it or you two will be late!" deku closed his eyes and swallowed the strand making you cringe.

i think im gonna be sick!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you walked with deku to UA and stared at it in awe. you fiddled with your jacket covering the tight tanktop you had on, paired with your army green cargo pants. 

god im so nervous..!

 "even though i ate his hair i dont feel any different.." sighed deku, you smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder "its probably just getting used to your body, besides i never felt any different when i got my quirk!" 

 "stupid deku..! get out of my way before i light you on fire..!" snarled a voice from behind you. your heart dropped as you turned and made eye contact with bakugou. 

you couldnt believe how much he had changed. his face was more mature and his body had definitely grown more muscle. his attitude had just gotten worse though.

he knocked his shoulder into yours and walked away coldly, not saying a word to you.

"asshat" you whispered while continuing to walk with deku until he stumbled on his own feet and was frozen mid air. "are you okay?" said a high pitched voice from a brown haired girl beside you.

"i used my quirk to stop you from falling!" deku got up and started blushing, you giggled knowing he probably thought she was cute. "my names ochako uraraka! nice to meet you two!" you smiled as deku started glitching in real life. "my names y/n l/n and thats izuku midoriya! its nice to meet you too!"

you grinned as a plan came to mind, "well i have to meet someone inside.. you should get to know her izuku! it was nice meeting you! bye izu!" you ran away giggling. he had no choice but to talk to her now!

you took a seat next to a red haired boy and settled down looking at your card. looks like ill be in battle center A.. "hey what center are you in?" the boy asked you as he showed you his card , "oh um.. center A" he sighed, "guess we arent in the same one.. well i wish you luck anyways!" he grinned showing his sharp teeth.

you smiled back, "thanks! you too! also i really like the red hair!" he blushed, "thanks dude!" suddently the lights went out and the hero present mic started speaking.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

you finally got changed out of your jacket and prepared to fight. you stood outside of the battle center with a group of other people. you noticed bakugou but didnt awknowledge him, instead you made sure you had enough water in your pouch to use during the fight.

suddenly the doors opened and present mics voice could be heard counting down. "on your mark.. get set... go!" 

 it was finally the moment you had been training months for.

previous parts: pt. 00 / pt. 01 next parts: pt. 03 / pt. 04 / pt. 05 / pt. 06 / pt. 07 / pt. 08 / pt. 09 / pt. 10 / pt. 11 / pt. 12 / pt. 13 / pt. 14 / pt. 15 / pt. 16

[mental69er]

Hii. Could you write a Firecracker x Fem!supe!reader. If you'd want to you could just do whatever with this request or Firecracker recently joined the seven and, reader is already apart of the team and. Firecracker kind of develops an obsession with reader kind of like the one she has on Homelander but, she is in denial because yk homophobia "girls cant love girls!". I dont really know what else to add so 😔 (also sorry if this request is a bit of a yap session) (I hope you have a good day/afternoon/night even if you dont read or do this request!) (Also this is my first request so sorry if it sounds rude in any way.) (English isnt my first language so sorry for any errors in grammar!) (Sorry for the bother and !Remember to stay hydrated!)

I hope you have a good day/night as well! Here's some Firecracker and fem super reader!

Content: fem reader as a superhero, obsessive Firecracker, homophobic Firecracker because she's in denial, mild spice, Fireracker pinned to the wall

Firecracker couldn't stand her.

Her entire existance was an affront to God.

Firecracker had been over the moon when she'd first heard she was going to be part of the Seven. Joining the team had been a dream come true, especially for someone like her who'd come from next to nothing.

The joy of being one of the Seven quickly began to fade when she realized who her teammates were. Homelander, she could look up to, Noir and the Deep she could ignore, A-Train had long deserted, and she'd thought of Sage as a friend once before the supe had used her to become Starlight's punching bag,

But her.

The superhero known as Myght.

Everything about her infuriated Firecracker to the point that she was entirely too distracted. Myght's eyes were a soft golden brown, sparkling in the light. Her long black hair spilled down her shoulders in waves. She was so beautiful she was probably full of herself.

Her lips were full and pulled up in a cocky smirk as she sat during the meetings and imparted her opinions. Opinions she should have no right to, not when they contradicted Homelander's own.

Firecracker couldn't help but speak up during those meetings to defend their leader, earning skeptic or mildly irritated looks from Myght. Firecracker wanted to piss her off even more, as payback for the way that she couldn't stop thinking about her.

Firecracker could spend hours thinking about what Myght said in a meeting or during a mission. Thought about how awfully muscular she was. A woman shouldn't have biceps that size, or have abs, or thighs that could crush heads.

Firecracker thought about how on one mission Myght had carried Firecracker to safety in those arms and how ashamed Firecracker had been to be seen weakened like this, relying on someone she hated.

And she made sure Myght knew she hated her. She'd poke fun of her, making snippy comments, and try to take her glory during missions. Not to mention she shit talked her on her podcast and it was validating to see others chime in on their hatred of her. For the most part.

'Sounds like someone has a crush' was one of the comments on Firecracker's latest half hour rant. Firecracker immediately deleted the comment and blocked the user from ever seeing any of her videos, pulse thudding with anger.

How dare they fucking think that! Firecracker only dated men and was only interested in them. Rage pulsed through her as thoughts she tried to suppress fought to surface into her concious mind.

She decided to work them out by going to the gym in Vought tower and take them all out on the equipment there. Eventually, when her muscles were too sore, she was able to finally go back to her room and shower, trying to wash away the weird heat churning in her stomach as the comment replayed over and over in her head.

"I don't like her!" she screamed out in frustration to no one and punched through the tiled wall, before taking deep shuddering breaths to calm herself. She'd find herself doing this more frequently when multiple comments accusing her of being hot for Myght kept circulating around in her comment sections. She kept deleting and blocking but someone always said something about it.

As Firecracker's time on the Seven extended, so did her efforts to piss off Myght.

Myght barely gave Firecracker any thought and that only made Firecracker try harder to annoy her.

Eventually though, as it always did with supes, the taunting and teasing devolved into violence. Myght swung Firecracker into the wall after a particular meeting, hand to her throat holding tight, anger making her bare her teeth.

"Seriously, what issue do you have with me?" Myght had spat out, grinding words. Firecracker tried to pry the hands off of her throat, but the grip was tight. Bits of plaster crumbled around her as she struggled to free herself.

"What have I done to warrant this behavior?"

"You existing is bad enough," Firecracker grit out, trying to catch her breath. Their faces were close together and she couldn't help the way her eyes flicked down to Myght's lips. Firecracker had never realized that Myght smelled this sweet, her perfume wafting over into Firecracker's nose.

"I think you want my attention," Myght said and Firecracker laughed.

"I want you gone. Don't flatter yourself," she said, pulling her lips back to show how unaffected she was.

"Really?" Myght asked, huffing. She stepped in, til their bodies were touching. Firecracker could feel the warmth of her against her chest, feel the shape of her breasts and muscles, and her heart rate slammed up.

Her eyelids fluttered as all those annoying comments about having a crush on Myght surfaced through her mind. At all the countless hours she had spent watching footage of Myght's rescues and trainings in an effort to better understand her enemy leading to Firecracker's costume feeling uncomfortably tight.

Just like it did now, the material sticking to too hot and too tight skin.

Firecracker had wondered, against her better wishes, what it would be like to be held in those strong arms again. What it would feel like to have that body pinning her down.

"Really," Firecracker said, voice sounding too breathy.

"Are you sure about that?" Myght began slipping a leg in between Firecracker's own and Firecracker's eyes flared in panic. "Because I've seen the way you talk about me on that little show of yours. And I've seen the comments they post about us."

"You're delusional if you think I feel that way about you," Fireracker spat out even as her body tensed when Myght's thigh slotted perfectly in between her own. Fireracker had to tamp down on the ridicolous and curious urge to buck right into it.

Myght merely smirked, thumb pressing down hard over Firecracker's pulse. "We'll see about that." She stepped back and let go and Firecracker nearly fell over, legs feeling strangely weak. She rubbed a hand up and down her throat.

"Things would be a lot better if you stopped being so cruel towards me and your own self," Myght offered softly.

"Fuck off," Firecracker growled out. "You disgusting leech. I'm letting every single one of my fans know what you did today during my podcast."

"Go ahead," Myght smirked and walked off.

Firecracker mumbled a few choice words under her breath about her. She would show her! When she turned to go to her room, she became aware of the uncomfortable wetness between her thighs.

Shit.

She really didn't want to think about why that was.

And when she finished ranting on her podcast about what Myght had done to her, vindicated by the many comments agreeing with her, her feelings of arousal had not gone away. Only intensifying when she had recounted them live for her audience.

As usual, there were a few comments that continued to ship her and Myght.

'Them fucking against the wall would have been so hot. Firecracker submitting to Myght, riding her thigh until she comes all over it' followed by thirsty emojis.

That only filled Firecracker's mind with images she didn't need, images that made her hand crawl mindlessly to the front of her shorts, rubbing down as she continued to read the reply thread.

'Do you see how ripped Myght is? She could probably get Firecracker off by rubbing Firecracker's cunts against her abs'.

Firecracker stifled a whimper at the thought of that, hand rubbing harder while her hand holding her phone began to shake from effort of holding back.

'Firecracker wants to be fucked so bad by Myght. Pinned under her and taken.'

"I don't," she defended breathlessly, hips beginning to cant up. Frustrated tears leaked from her eyes as she forced herself to pull her hand away before she could orgasm. Shaking with anger and want, she tore away from the chair, tossing her phone to the side and went to the shower.

She turned the water on cold and let it run over her until her body had calmed down.

She needed to get rid of that demon woman. Only then would she be able to stop feeling this way.

[cumulo-stratus]

Rain Soaked Sleep

(GIF NOT MINE)

Spencer reid x Male! reader

Description: Y/n and Spencer get home after a long week at the BAU and a rainy drive home, ready to fall asleep to the sound of rain.

Warnings: possible swearing, lemme know if theres anything else!

flufftober day 4: Rainy day

The door to spencers apartment clicked closed quietly and the loss of light from the hallway shrouded the couple in darkness. In his typical fashion, Y/n turned on the light switch next the door and slumped his matching leather messenger bag onto the floor next where spencers bag had already been dumped, along with both of their soaking wet rain jackets, forgotten for the enticing idea of a hot shower and a comfortable bed. Y/n trailed behind spencer in their well rehearsed routine of getting home late after a case while chatted quietly. And while spencer split off down the hall to the shower, Y/n continued to their shared bedroom and began opening the windows, the sound of hard rain pelting against the road outside. Little drops of water splashed against the windowsill inside, as raindrops from outside hit the edge of the planter box on their window and splattered inside. Y/n couldnt help but stand at the window for a moment, breathing in the smell of rain and the city after sitting in a jet for 3 1/2 hours.

spencer emerged from the bathroom, drying off his wet curls with a towel, to find PJ’s (aka beat up pj pants and an old college t-shirt for spencer, and boxers and one of spencers FBI t-shirts for Y/n) layer out on the bed. Y/ns back was turned him as he stood in front of the closet, unpacking both of their go bags. Spencer took this opportunity to slip his arms around y/ns waist and breath in the tropical scent of y/ns curls (sry if you dont have curly hair 😭). Y/n chuckled at spencers clingy-ness and turns around in his arms to reach up and kiss his boyfriend.

“thank you for unpacking my bag love, you didnt have to” spencer spoke gently, only loud enough to be heard above the rain. “i wanted to- and if i dont do something i was going to fall asleep standing here” spencer chuckled lightly at Y/ns words. “well the bathroom is free for a shower if you’d like- i made sure the window is open so you’ll still hear the rain.” Y/n smiled at spencer words, appreciating his boyfriends habit of remembering his likes and dislikes, rain being of his favorites. “Thank you..” Y/n trailed off as he kissed spencers hand and made his way to the still steamy bathroom.

Y/n stepped out of the claw foot tub around 5 minutes later, onto the fluffy bath mat shaped like a cat (a birthday gift for y/n from spencer last year). He wrapped a towel around his waist and rubs the steam off the mirror. Y/ns face is blocked by the open mirror cabinet when his boyfriend walked in. Y/n was still aware of spencer though, despite not being able to see him. When y/ns head peeked out from behind the cabinet, he asked “have you taken your allergy meds yet?” spencer shakes his head no and holds out his hand for the pils. Y/n pours out pills for both spencer and himself into his hand, and places spencers dose into his palm. They both take turns drinking from the sink before taking each others hands and walking back into their shared bedroom. y/n walks to his side of the bed, and flops down face first with a groan. spencers chuckles before walking around to his own side of the bed and climbing under the covers- urging y/n to do the same. “Y/n, come on- you cant to bed like that, and you wanna cuddle with me right?” Y/n perks up when spencer mentions cuddles, dragging his face from the mattress and looking up at spencer excitedly. Y/n shuffled comfortably into spencer arms. he fit perfectly, spencers arms wrapped around y/n’s torso, his head tucked into Y/n’s shoulder and kissed the crook of his neck. “you did really well on the case this week” Y/n said with a proud smile on his face even though spencer couldn’t see it. Spencer only hummed into y/n’s neck, alreayd half asleep. But his boyfriend wasnt far behind either. And within minutes both men had drifted off to sleep in each others arm to the sound of rain drifting through the open windows into the small bedroom

The End

[omi-papus]

Light The Lamp

Part: 3

Ao3 link

Content: Age difference, ADHD x Autism, Ableist slur, Ice Hockey AU, Human Al-An AU, Drug use

Summary: Rookie ice hockey player Robin Ayou stuns the league with a controversial but impressive debut, catching the eye of popular YouTuber Alan Silvester. Known for his hockey insights. After an awkward first encounter, he begs her to feature in one of his videos. And she after thinking shes found her new babygirl cant help but agree.

Word count: 6.1k

A/N: Sorry that this took fucking forever for such a short chapter, but here we are. Hope you enjoy!

She wanted to bury herself alive, or slam into a wall, or do anything to let this jittery, burning frustration out. She had nearly tried to break her stick in front of everyone, only stopping herself because a teammate had squeezed her shoulder hard before she could do so. A horrifying 5-3 had shown up on the scoreboard, and she just saw red, and still did. This had been a game against the Pengwings. A team with a similar history to their own, by all means an equal match, yet they still weren’t able to pull through. Robin was in the locker room shower, begging that the boiling hot water would distract her for even a second. All her mistakes and missed opportunities in that game were playing out in her mind over and over again. Coach Maida hadn’t even bothered to scold her, almost as if she could tell Robin was giving herself all the punishment she deserved.  

She had tried to be better. She refrained from throwing herself at the puck without thinking, avoided crashing, and thought before she moved. Everything Robin had been criticized about countless times and it still didn’t work. It wasn’t enough.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Like I said, I have the game recorded. I haven’t seen it yet, and I don’t know if it will make it onto my video list,” Alan said flatly, the slight distortion of the phone doing no favors to his apathetic tone.

“But you watch all the games!” Robin whined loudly, dangerously balancing her chair at the packed café. It was only a day after the game and a month since her big apology to Alan. They hadn’t met up in person since, and any phone calls they’d had were a reluctant effort on his part.

“I do, but I can’t make a video out of all of them unless it’s a league. Danby Philip just retired. That is much more pressing at the moment.”

“I don’t need you to make a video about it! I just need you to tell me what went wrong!”

“Robin, are you asking me for personal coaching right now?”

“I just need advice, Alan. I’m going insane!”

“Historically, you’ve reacted very poorly to my criticism. I don’t think you’d want to hear more of it.”

“I’ll hear out anything! I’ll shut up, I promise! Just help me!”

“Even if I wanted to, I can’t do that.”

“I will literally pay you, Alan. Come ooooooooooon!”

A scoff could be heard on the other line. She wasn’t surprised that he was appalled by the idea. He always gave off “passion over money” vibes, but she had to at least try.

“Yeah, alright, fine. I can’t buy you, but why won’t you help me?”

“If I helped only you, that would be an extremely biased move on my part. I can’t make accurate, objective analysis if I have any stock in any given player.”

“You literally took me out to dinner and then tore my ass apart. You can stay objective no matter what.”

“Still, I don’t think it’s fair.”

She sighed, melting into her chair, focusing on the ice swishing around in her coffee. Fuck she wanted a slice of cake from the counter so badly, but she’d promised herself she’d reserve cheat day for Saturdays at the very least.

“Are you going to stop calling me now?” he finally asked.

“No.”

He sighed. “I figured.”

“If you asked me for advice, I would help you.”

“I can’t think of anything I’d need your specific input for.”

“Wow, thanks.”

“You see? You’re taking it personally again.”

“I am not! I’m just saying you could learn a thing or two from me.”

“Like what?”

“Like how not to be an asshole to people.”

“If I were that bad, I don’t think you’d be so obsessed with me.”

Her face flushed, and she nearly fell off the chair. “I-I’m not obsessed with you! You’re the one that was obsessed with me!”

“Fascination and obsession are different things.”

“Well, if you hate me so much, why don’t you just hang up?”

“I never said I hate you. You’d really benefit from not putting words in my mouth.”

“Whatever! What are you doing this weekend?”

“Working.”

“Oh my god, do you have a life? If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume you’re some type of robot.”

“I wish I was.”

“Really? Like, sure, you’d be able to do aaaall this work, but you wouldn’t be able to eat food anymore.”

“I suppose it would be more optimal to become a biomechanical being. Biological bodies have plenty of advantages that current technology can’t meet.”

“Yeah, obviously. Like, no human submarine can take the pressure that some little fish are born into. Do you have any idea how deep bladder fish can live? They’re either on the reef surface or, like, nine hundred meters down in caves.”

“Oh, that’s an interesting point. I was thinking about things such as the mechanics of the human hand. As far as I know, no robotics can fully replicate that.”

“So you wouldn’t be a robot then?” she smiled coyly as she spoke.

“If I think about it, I’d like to be something much more complex. I’d use the DNA of several species to gain the most benefits while covering any weaknesses with technological components.”

“Sounds like something out of a horror movie.”

“It does not. There’s nothing about what I’ve described that is inherently hostile.”

“I don’t know, it sounds like something that would think everything else is inferior to it. I mean, I guess humans are already like that, and it’s had some pretty nasty consequences.”

“Many humans think they are superior to even other humans.”

“True.”

“So, I don’t think there would be anything inherently wrong with what I’m proposing.”

“Heh, you would have been a really good mad scientist.”

“I believe I could achieve that, but I wouldn’t want to change career paths.”

She chuckled. “You really love what you do, don’t you?”

“Don’t you?”

Robin stared off into the distance for a couple of seconds, her nails tapping against the table rhythmically. She finally remembered her coffee existed and took a long sip before answering.

“Sure. It’s not like I’m here for the money.”

“What money?”

She paused. Her entire nervous system froze for several seconds before something warm went up her throat, and she burst out laughing. Was that a joke? From him? It wasn’t even a good one, just the fact that it came from Alan was enough to make it hilarious to her.

“Oh, fuck off! You’re a YouTuber!” She was still laughing through the phone.

“At least I actually get sponsorships.”

“Ow! You cut me deep!”

“I’m only honest.”

With a smile still on her face, she leaned her head on her hand, her elbow against the table. “So then be honest with me. Do you really need to be working all weekend, every weekend?”

“It is the most productive.”

“You’re like five videos ahead, aren’t you?” She raised an eyebrow.

“…That is none of your business.”

“Let’s go out for drinks.”

“I don’t like bars.”

“Then let’s hang out in the park.”

“I don’t think you realize how hard going outside during daylight actually is for me.”

Oh. Right. She suddenly deflated. “Alright, sorry. Whatever you want, let’s just do something.”

There was a long pause on his end. Robin was suddenly afraid that she was pushing it too far.

“I am uncomfortable with this…”

Robin sighed hard. She laid her head against the table, swirling her cup around dejectedly.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” And she couldn’t come up with anything after that.

“I have to hang up now,” he said quickly.

“Yeah, cool. Bye, Alan.”

“Goodbye.”  

And that was the last she heard before the call ended.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was not long before she was on the treadmill, scrolling through her unnamed contacts trying to find that guy she had only talked to thrice at this point. She hadn’t bothered to check if he was available before calling.  

“Just convince him,” Robin whined with little difficulty despite the current strain on her body.  

“What in the world makes you think he listens to me?” Ryley answered flatly through the phone, the distinct sound of surrounding traffic filling the background of the audio.  

“I know you don’t get along with him great, but come on,” she insisted.  

“You shouldn’t either. The difference is I’m not trying to get in his pants.”  

Her face burned like a firework, a quick explosion of energy that nearly left smoke in its wake. “I, unlike some people, don’t have my mind in the gutter, thank you very much!”  

“Sure, bitch. Point is, I’m not going to beg a grownass man to go on a playdate. Even if I did like him.”  

“Alright, fine, then convince him to help me!”  

“Girl, you can get some college kid to be your math tutor for like ten dollars.”  

That struck a nerve, not that she would ever admit it. What did he know anyway? Sam was a GREAT tutor when she was a kid. But that was beside the point. “I mean in hockey, jackass. He could totally give me a heads up on other teams and give me strategies to use in the game. I would be unstoppable!”  

“If he wanted to do that, he already would be. I don’t know why he’s missing a chance to run his mouth at someone else, but that’s not my problem.”  

She sighed and wiped the sweat off her forehead, briefly looking down at the treadmill screen: ten kilometers to go. “How much?”  

“Nine thousand three hundred forty-two dollars.”  

“What the fuck? Are you buying a yacht?”  

“That’s my rent for the next six months so I can go and get another job.”  

“If you’re really that desperate, just move in with Cal.”  

“Umm, we’ve been dating for a month, in case you’ve been too busy suffering blunt force trauma to the head to keep up with the timeline.”  

“What? Is Cal not good enough for you?” She was quick to get defensive in the name of her friend.  

“Oh my god, I swear it must be illegal for bisexual women to understand the concept of relationship pacing. We’re just taking our time, like normal people.”  

Robin made a face somewhere between slightly offended and perplexed, almost losing her pace for a moment. “And how do you know I’m even bisexual, you twink?!” she grumbled, louder than she should have.  

“Bless your heart. If I was a cute twink, I wouldn’t be in this situation. And also, you can only drive a cheap motorcycle, your job is to get violently squeezed and shoved by a bunch of women in uniform, and you’re into the most pathetic looking stick of a man you’ve ever seen. Like, the closet is made of glass.”  

“I told you I DON’T like him like that!” she fumed. Her irritation was starting to rile her up, so she decided to up the speed on the treadmill, hoping to disguise the heat on her face as just exertion.  

“Yeah, and I want to be having this conversation. Don’t we love telling the truth?”  

“What did I ever do to you? Seriously?”  

“Nothing really. You just have a talent for catching me when I’m in a bad mood. But seriously, I’m not going to tell my boss to be your best buddy.”  

A loud honk was heard in the background of the audio, making Robin flinch and wait uncomfortably as Ryley began screaming at what she could only assume was another car. It took a solid minute before he said anything to her again. He sighed hard. “How serious were you about the ‘how much?’ thing?”  

She was taken aback slightly. She hadn’t expected to ever actually be taken up on that kind of offer, especially since she was in no financial position to be trying to bribe people. “Umm, I’ll give you twenty.”  

“Make it forty.”  

“Twenty-five.”  

“Thirty.”  

“Twenty-five and a six-pack.”  

“You do realize that will cost you the other five, right?”  

“FINE. Thirty dollars! But not a cent more!”  

“Alright, but you have to pay me in advance.”  

“How will I know that you did it then?”  

“I’m telling you now, because even if I do tell him, it’s not guaranteed to work. Actually, it probably won’t.”  

“And you’re gonna charge me anyway?”  

“I don’t like you enough not to.”  

“I hope he dumps you.”  

“You better hope I don’t tell Alan that you’re trying to sabotage my relationships.”  

“Alright, alright, I’ll give you the damn money. Just get him to coach me.”  

“No guarantees. I’ll send you my info. Don’t ever ask me to do this again.” He hung up before she had a chance to say anything else.  

Robin readjusted her earbuds and looked around, only to notice that just about everyone in the gym was staring right at her. Guess she was a bit louder than she thought.  

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her hair stuck to her forehead from the unusually cold shower she had just gotten out of. Robin talked idly with her teammates as she got dressed in the locker room, pulling on a pair of short denim shorts and putting on a tube top. She was going out with some friends later, so she decided to start getting ready now. She used the mirror glued to the door of her locker to absentmindedly put on her makeup, brushing off teasing comments from her teammates about showing off.  

You could easily see her thick, strong legs and her fit, defined stomach. She had always been comfortable showing her body and wasn’t about to let anyone make her insecure about a physique she had worked so hard for. Thankfully, she wasn’t the last one to leave the building this time. She walked along, joking with her teammates, bag slung over her shoulder.  

The sky was getting slightly darker in the afternoon. Robin craned her neck to look up at the clouds, suddenly noticing that her group had slowly stopped walking. When she looked back down, she almost choked on her saliva,  

Because a man was standing there on the sidewalk in front of the stadium. Cap and sunglasses in tow, which were quickly taken off as he turned around to look at the group of women. She froze, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Her group murmured to themselves about who this could possibly be and what he was doing there. It took them only a few moments to realize Robin had fallen silent, and someone had to shake her out of her stupor.  

“Hey, you know him?”  

She suddenly felt shy for seemingly no reason. “I do, but…”  

He chose that moment to perk up and notice her, and when he took a step forward toward her, she almost jumped. She shook herself quickly and stepped out to meet him halfway.  

“Alan?” was all she could ask. She could hear her group start to mumble behind her. Her cheeks suddenly felt unnaturally warm, and she held back the instinct to turn back and tell them to shut up.  

“Robin, I know what you-” he began flatly until he looked down and noticed her clothing, her thighs exposed under the tight shorts and her abs peeking out from under her top, a top tight enough to perfectly outline her small breasts.  

Robin didn’t know what his deal was, only registering that his face took on that blood-red tint again. So intense on his pale face that it concerned her no matter how many times she saw it. She raised an eyebrow worriedly before tracing the path of his pupils, and suddenly her own redness was triggered, making her feel overexposed,  for the first time in years . Her flustered state quickly turned into defensiveness.  

“What?! Never seen a woman before, or what are you staring at?!”  

It was apparent that he panicked, his gaze shooting straight to the building behind her, avoiding any part of her like the plague. “I-I-I simply came because… because, ummm.”  

Robin pulled every minuscule ounce of confidence she could find in herself to put her hands on her hips and face him head on. “I can’t believe you even know what stadium I train at. You know there’s a fine line between being a big fan and straight up being a stalker, Alan.”  

He swallowed thickly and shook his head. He tensed up but still didn’t look at her. “I know that you bribed Ryley.”  

Suddenly her heart stopped. Her shoulders slackened, her mouth fell open, and her eyes quickly widened with panic. “Did… did he tell you?”  

“When I asked him why he suddenly insisted on me giving you specialized guidance, he told me that you paid him to convince me.” His features returned to being unreadable, the redness fading away little by little.  

“That bitch!” Robin spat. She was going to kill him, she swore it.  

“Don’t blame him for it. I told you that I would not do that, and you tried to weaponize my own assistant against me.”  

“What else was I supposed to do?! You haven’t given me any pointers since the interview!”  

“It’s not my job to teach you.”  

“But you haven’t even talked about me since! Lately, not a single video has been about any of my games!”  

“I will cover you when you do something worth covering.”  

She flinched, her features falling into an array of shock and sadness before she could stop it. Without meaning to, her heart sank, and she suddenly felt cold, like his words had been a tight brick hit against the center of her chest. Alan glanced down to notice her face and immediately regretted it, noticing the unmistakable despair in her expression.  

Her ears quickly felt hot. She stood straight and got ready to shove her way past him and walk away, but he raised his arms in defense before she could do so.  

“I don’t say that to upset you.”  

It succeeded in making her stop. She searched for his gaze and hated that she couldn’t meet it. He stared at her shoes. “I never say anything to upset you…”  

Her heart burned, but she could feel the steam inside exiting through her nostrils, leaving her winded. Her face scrunched, the painful feeling of empathy stopping her from succumbing to the tempting rage.  

“I know, but…”  

“If I’m really your friend, then you can understand that.”  

She inhaled. Everyone around her tensed up, preparing for her to scream. But in less than a second, her body went limp, and all that was heard from her was a weak, “Okay…”  

They stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity, but it was a silence that was needed. For Robin’s feelings to sink in and for Alan to calm down. The orange and pink tints of dusk colored both them and their surroundings.  

“You really are something special…” Robin muttered shyly, hugging herself slightly. He looked at her face, trying to analyze her expression.  

“Not really,” he mumbled back.  

“Can we just… meet up… sometime soon? Please?”  

He blinked confusedly before letting out a sigh and fiddling with his collar. “I don’t understand you.”  

She faced the floor, feeling small and helpless, like a little kid after being scolded. “I’m sorry.”  

Alan briefly made eye contact with the women behind Robin and just as quickly looked away when he saw them glaring daggers at him.  

“Is that all you want? To go out?”  

She let her arms fall to her sides. She searched for something for her eyes to focus on before settling for just closing them. “Sure.”  

“Alright… I… we can do that.”  

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“He hates me,” she moped, face down on the couch, hogging all the space her sister would have liked to use as well.  

Sam was standing right in front of the couch, nudging Robin with her knee, hoping she would move. “Robin, you are not sixteen anymore. You can’t expect people to make you the center of their world just because you want them to.”  

Robin curled up, finally giving her sister some much needed space. “He said I was *fascinating*! And then doesn’t give me the light of day?! That’s not fair, Sammy! uNtIL yOu Do sOmEThInG WOrTh cOveRinG. I’M worth covering, motherfucker! Nobody in this godforsaken league plays like I do!”  

“You’ve been in less than ten games. Sounds to me like you’ve just got an ego problem,” Sam clapped back with a light laugh, not even glancing at her. “You’ve always been desperate for attention. It’s really time you grow up.”  

“This is not about attention! I’m just saying that he shouldn’t have acted like I was the best thing since unicorn piss and then never talked about me again!” Robin sat up, gesturing wildly. Their mother, who had invited them both over for dinner and was listening in from the kitchen, stayed suspiciously silent.  

“I watched that interview, Robin. He never thought you were that great.”  

The comment only made Robin grumble. “Well, then that’s double the reason he should be covering me! He’s the one that made everyone think I suck, so he should fix it! Prove that I’m great!”  

Sam had found the TV remote and was already in the process of flipping through channels. “If you wanted to be famous, you should’ve become an actress. God knows you’re dramatic enough,” she chuckled. “Most people can’t even name one hockey player.”  

“It’s a national sport!”  

“You don’t even watch it yourself.”  

“That’s not the point!”  

“What is the point then?” she asked, raising an eyebrow defiantly. Robin could only stammer. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t be mad at Sam; she hadn’t been able to since high school.  

“I just… fuck, I don’t know.” She sunk into the couch again.  

“I think you’re just clinging to your five minutes of fame,” Sam added, finally looking at her.  

Something about that phrase made Robin’s chest feel heavier. Sam gave her this look, like she was expecting a comeback, a witty remark, or a bitchy response, but all Robin managed was a weak, awkward half smile before standing up and announcing she would go help their mother in the kitchen.  

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Robin stepped into the café, her eyes immediately landing on Alan by the window, hunched over his phone. He looked as out of place as ever, a white smudge against the cheerful, sunlit room. Taking a steadying breath, she walked toward him.  

“You’re on time,” he said simply, his tone neutral. “Surprising.”  

Robin rolled her eyes, grabbing the menu from the holder on the table. “Wow, not even a ‘Hi, Robin, nice to see you’? You really know how to make a girl feel special.”  

“I didn’t think you needed constant reassurance.” He glanced in her general direction for a fraction of a second, which did more to almost make her flinch than the words themselves.  

The words got caught in her throat for several seconds before she mumbled something unintelligible and sank back into the menu. Unfortunately, there was very little noise around them to help cover the awkward silence that followed. Robin, for all she was worth, scanned the menu and decided she could make a little sacrifice if it might ease the tension.  

“Get anything you want. I’ll treat you.”  

“Sure,” was all she got. And she couldn’t lie, it made her twitch a little. She was never one for manners, really, but every day he seemed to get ruder.  

“And don’t feel like you gotta go with the cheap stuff either. If you picked this place, you surely got something you like here, so feel free to get it.”  

Alan gave a curt nod and looked out the window briefly before shifting his gaze to his hands. “So, what’s this about?”  

She should have been taken aback, but his attitude up to this point had been hinting at him eventually saying something like that. “This isn’t about anything. We’re just hanging out like we said we would. Nothing more than that.”  

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose for a lot longer than she expected, almost reluctant to say what he wanted to.  

“Listen, Robin, I find it hard to believe that anything you've done so far isn't an attempt to get favors out of me.”  

Now that had her taken aback. A sudden rush of embarrassment hit her like a truck, making her sink back in her chair. But equally, she was offended by the idea.  

“That was one mistake! This has nothing to do with that!”  

“Really? Because you, out of nowhere, after hating me, decide we’re best friends and then immediately try to manipulate me into doing stuff for you.”  

She grimaced, cringing hard at the thought of what had transpired two days before.  

“Then why don’t you just tell me no? Why even come here?”  

“Because I’m not sure you won’t show up at my office to harass me if I don’t.”  

“Hey! *You’re* the one that showed up at my workplace!”  

That seemed to shut him up for a second. Coming up with a response turned out to be a lot harder than he expected. Robin looked at him expectantly, making him sweat a little.  

“Why is it so hard to believe that I like you?” she huffed out, and that absolutely made his blood run cold.  

Yes, Robin also had a mini heart attack when she processed what came out of her mouth. But she knew she had meant it as a friend, and she could not show any hesitance or embarrassment lest the double meaning of the phrase cross his mind as well.  

He stumbled over his words for a couple of seconds before almost whining, “Why would you like me?”  

She raised an eyebrow. “Wow, Alan, you sure got some self esteem issues. You really gotta work on that.”  

“I haveI  self esteem issues?!”  

“Yeah. I know I’m very lovable.”  

He sort of laughed. A strange gesture on him. It was almost creepy.  

“If you’re such a social butterfly, why do you need anything from me?”  

He was so clearly bitter. But oddly enough, Robin found it… enticing. She leaned forward on the table, holding her head up with her hand, smirking coyly.  

“Because I think you might need something from me.”  

Oh, what a beautiful thing it was to watch him blue screen at her words. It was subtle, but boy, was she drinking in every micro expression he was making.  

“And why on earth could that possibly be?” he all but spat.  

She happily let out in a singsong voice, “Because you have no friends~.”  

Oooooh boy, she wished she could take a picture of him after she said that.  

“How would you know that?!”  

“Do you have any friends?”  

“Ye-”  

“That you have talked to in the last two years?”  

He was practically fuming. “Ugh, when you’re in your thirties, you’ll understand!”  

“I’ll take that as a no~.”  

“Like I said, it’s harder when you’re older.”  

“Then let me make it easy for you.”  

That last part was said without malice, without teasing or judgment. When he looked up, he saw her smiling at him simply, kindly. It made something defensive in him rise up, but he couldn’t find a way to properly channel it.  

“So what? If I’m not a bank for favors, I’m a charity case?”  

“Why are you mad, king? I’m just offering friendship. Even after you made it clear you won’t help me out, I’m still here, aren’t I?”  

“That still doesn’t explain why?”  

“Because I do actually like you.”  

He almost looked angry at the mere idea. He sat back and crossed his arms. “Okay, fine. What do you like about me?”  

That was a little harder for Robin to answer. It wasn’t exactly easy for her to pinpoint. At least not in the same way it was for her with most people. But she had a couple of bullet points.  

“You’re really smart. I can talk to you about just anything, and you’ve got something to say. Something interesting, usually.”  

“Okay, and?”  

“You’re nice, when you want to be. Sweet, even. Sure, your manners could use some work, but when you’re not tearing my ass out about plays, you’ve always treated me pretty well, even when you’re angry at me.”  

“What else?”  

“Wow there, fishing for compliments, big guy?”  

His face scrunched, and he looked down at the water stains on the hardwood of the table, his shoulders tensed in a way that made him seem small. “I just… need to be sure…”  

Robin’s eyes softened at that. She let out a deep breath. Just like she thought, he was insecure. It was kind of sad seeing someone so stoic looking like a self conscious teenager. So she tried to look deeper within herself, to find something that would soothe those anxieties as best she could.  

And what she found made her smile fade.  

She looked away from him too, rubbing her neck awkwardly before speaking a little quieter than before. “Well, this isn’t something I like about you, per se. But I guess I just kind of… envy you.”  

His eyebrows raised. He looked at her briefly again, just to try and gauge if she was serious. Robin felt suddenly a little nervous.  

“Yeah, I mean… oh god, it’s just… you’re so… passionate, I guess.”  

“About hockey?”  

“Well yeah, you just… know so much and care so much. Like you really could just dedicate every part of you to it.”  

“And you don’t?” He sounded concerned, or something close to… scared.  

“No, yeah, I love it. Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. But I just wish I had that fire you have. That… well, that obsession.” She chuckled half-heartedly.  

He looked pensive, now much calmer than before. Like she had finally begun to speak his language. “It’s not… that great, to be like that. It… kind of fucks with your life.”  

“Really? I would imagine life would be so much more fun if you have something you love that much.”  

“Sure, it’s comforting. Actually, it’s kind of all I’ve got. But that’s just it. I’m not really good for anything else.”  

“But you don’t want to be.” She smiled.  

“Well, no. I haven’t really wanted anything else in a long time.”  

“What makes you like it so much?”  

He combed through his hair. “I don’t know. It’s my special interest. I’ve never bothered to question it beyond that.”  

Robin didn’t know what “special interest” meant, but she assumed it was just a way of saying his passion.  

“Well, I guess you don’t have to psychoanalyze everything.”  

“Thank god. Otherwise, I’d have to find an explanation for why I was the same with *The Aurora Chronicles* when I was younger.”  

She tilted her head to the side. “What’s that? Never heard of it.”  

“It’s a book series for children. I don’t think it got brought over to Auwell until a few years ago.”  

Something in Robin’s head suddenly clicked, and she was wide eyed with shock. “Holy shit, I can’t believe I’ve never asked you where you’re from?! You’ve got one hell of an accent.”  

He pouted slightly. “Is that a jab or…?”  

“No no no! It’s pretty ho- nice! I mean- I like it- I mean, it doesn’t sound bad at all!”  

He shrugged. “I was born on the precursor colony.”  

“Aha! A colony kid! No wonder you’re so pale.”  

He rolled his eyes. “That’s not how that works. Albinism is just common in space colonies because albino people actively move there, since the artificial light is much safer than an actual sun. We don’t become like this simply because we live in one.”  

“Huh, go figure. But if it’s safer for you, why are you here?”  

“When I was about six, my mother desperately wanted to get out of that colony. So she moved us here.”  

“Damn, things must have been pretty bad.”  

“No. We were better off at the colony than we were here. She quit her job as an accountant for the colony’s main engineering department.”  

“So… this place was worse for your condition, and you had fewer opportunities, and she still moved you here?”  

Alan’s eyes widened, that defensive edge in him rising up again.  

“You wouldn’t understand. And that is none of your business,” he said bluntly. Robin could tell she’d touched a nerve and, for once, chose the safer option.  

“So wait, you said you were obsessed with something before hockey?” She sounded amused.  

“Yes. I used to read all The Aurora Chronicles books religiously. Any time I got told to make an essay, I would do it about one of the books. I’m pretty sure I could have written an entire thesis about them.” He looked a little embarrassed about it but was still being as honest as he always was.  

“So your ‘special interest’ can just change?”  

“I suppose. I completely lost interest in those books once I got into hockey after I moved here.”  

“And aren’t you scared you suddenly won’t like hockey anymore?”  

He looked so offended he nearly walked out on her at that exact moment. “No.”  

She let out a fit of laughter louder than she most likely should have. Alan was able to look at her more easily when she wasn’t focused on him, and he was suddenly noticing how slim her face was, how the little bits of curly hair fell out of her ponytail, and how it looked charming rather than disorganized.  

After a few seconds, she finally settled down and leaned her head on her elbow.  

“See? It  is nice to learn more about you.”  

His eyes widened a little. He had completely forgotten about their earlier argument. Suddenly, a tint of red made its way into his face. “If you insist…”  

“Hey.” She urged softly. He looked up at her, not quite meeting her gaze, but that was as close as she was going to get. “I mean it. I would do anything to love the sport as much as you do. It really is something that makes you special.”  

His face turned even redder, and Robin had to fight everything within herself not to melt. But after he spent a few seconds wallowing in his flustered astonishment, his face turned harder, and he looked at her with a sudden determined glint in his eye.  

“You can love it too.”  

She didn’t know how to answer that, so he continued for her.  

“If you work hard and keep going, you will fall in love with hockey just as hard as I did.”  

His eyes looked so intense it was entrancing, and Robin found herself unable not to stare.  

“I hope that one day you will love ice hockey so much that everything else fades into the background."

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Robin’s small apartment was a battlefield of laundry, empty coffee mugs, and hockey gear strewn haphazardly across the floor. Cal stood in the middle of the chaos, holding up a neon yellow sports bra between two fingers like it might bite him. “You can never get married. If you do, you’re going to be living in the doghouse, I swear.”

He did not get a response. Cal groaned, dropping the bra into the growing laundry pile by the door. He grabbed an empty coffee mug off the windowsill, peered inside, and immediately recoiled. “How long has this been here? There’s something growing in it, Robin! It might be sentient!” Still he received nothing but silence.

“You hear me?” Cal said louder, shaking the mug for emphasis. “Dog house. Or the garage. Maybe the yard. With all this mess, it’s the only option.” He looked around a little more, the smell of mold, deodorant, and weed making him nearly gag. He decided to open the window. “Oh, let’s be roommates if stuff goes to shit. Fat chance” he said in a mock voice before spitting out the last words. He gathered a couple more cups and brought them to the sink, which was thankfully not as full as he’d expected.

“Robin!” Cal practically shouted now, stacking the plates into a somewhat comprehensible order for washing. “Are you seriously ignoring me while I’m out here risking my life with whatever biohazard you’ve got going on?”

Still no answer. He looked over at the couch where he knew she was laying.  

Photophores: Glow whales contain several types of bioluminescence. Perhaps the most noteworthy are their photophores, which are incandescent glandular organs found at the corners of their eyes and the pods at the tip of their sail-like pectoral fins.*  

She read, her eyes glued to the page, her lips moving slightly as if silently mouthing the words she was reading. Sprawled on the couch, her legs kicked over the armrest, entirely absorbed in the open book resting against her thighs.

[meiyvsdesire]

III. His Vessel

Reader's POV:

I pushed the curtains to the side and embraced the warmth of the morning sun flashing all over my body. The heat felt good on my skin after that cold night.

After taking a good look at the morning traffic, I decided after a shower I’d just get breakfast at a convinience store.

It wasn’t my first time being alone as I always had Nanami following me around for my safety but sometimes it does get annoying that we end up being cat and mouse, chasing each other out on the street and as usual he’d made me think I won but his just right behind me.

“See us a again.”

So I had to make sure he doesnt track me. I cant stay in one place cause Im pretty sure his not far behind.

“Turning off your phone isnt lady like Ms Inagawa.”

My shoulder tensed up and slowly turned around to see Nanami standing behind me. His tall frame hovering over my small frame and I could even hear the ladies cooing at the counter. I sighed pulling my cap down on my face feeling embarrased from ever feeling confident that Im a step ahead of him.

“How the fuck did you know this time?”

“I put a tracker on Mr. Geto’s bike after having a meeting with him. He should find it by now since he always wash his bike on a sunday.”

I hummed and reached my phone in my pocket.

“You spy on him too.”

“I wouldnt put it that way but more of keeping an eye on him incase things turn south. And it did.”

I scoffed having the idea that Nanami was also told about the marriage in advance. I fucking hate my circle. I then heard the bell of the convenience store signifying that it was open, my head turned to the sound of its direction and felt this urge to bolt out of here.

Nanami was quick to notice my action and sighed looking over his watch. “Fine. I’ll give you a five second head start-

Before he could finish his sentence I threw my phone at his face and ran. A few of his men were already in a car parked in front of the convenience store to block my way so I slid over the hood to get to the other side of the street and heard them getting out of the car. I had no idea where I was gonna run off to but Nanami is probably on the chase by now so I just have to think like him to avoid him.

After having Nanami by my side for years I know he gets distracted by cats and couldnt help but pet them on his way so I headed to a dumpster of cats, maybe it’ll buy me some time. The dumpster of cats lead me to a small street filled with on the go shops where I found a small bakery with a short opening on the side of its building. Nanami couldn’t resist the smell of bread so it’ll buy me time to find another way out of from short opening. It feels like luck is on my side now.

BANG

I gasped as the loud gun shot came ringing in my ear. It ached my head but I kept my eyes open to look around noticing the familiar street. Judging by the off neon lights, provocative signs, trashy street and some drunks sleeping on the side of the road. Im at the red district, one of the dangerous parts of the city.

BANG BANG

I heard the gun shot again but this time I was able to close my ears to lessen its ringing. My eyes followed to where I heard the shot and found in a steep alley behind the dumpster is some guy pointing a gun at what it looks like a little girl. Immidietly my heart fell into my stomach and as much as I didnt want to get involve I saw the little girl still moving.

In the family I was known to be stupid for acting out of impulse. I passed several martial arts to use it for self defense but instead I got to use it more in times to help others like saving an old lady from being bullied by teenagers and a woman from being ganged up by thugs. But now, this is gonna be my biggest invovlment yet.

I picked up the nearest trashcan I could find and threw it on the man with the gun. His reflexes were kick to push the trashcan off but trash inside had covered his view and I immidietly followed it with a kick at the back of his head. It didn’t seem strong enough to knock him out but it knelt him down and was able to point the gun towards me. He was about to pull the trigger until a foot reached the side of his face and fell on the ground. And thats when I realize it wasnt a little girl, it was a boy with long white hair with red markings on top of his head.

“We’re both in trouble if your father hears about this.”

Nanami comments as he stared at the clear glass window in one of the hospital rooms. The boy I helped was inside getting some treatment on his wound.

“So dont tell him.”

I commented watching the boy as well. He must have felt our stares and looked our way. Instead of being friendly and all, Nanami chose to turn around giving him his back while I gave a little wave.

“How do you expect him not to hear about this when you saved his life.”

Nanami bobbed his head towards the boy. My eyebrows furrowed at his comment and side eyed to look at him.

“What do you mean?”

I asked confused and turned my eyes to the boy again, who soon mouthed a thank you towards me before one of the nurse had pulled the curtains close. Nanami sighed and shook his head.

“If my cards are right this must be fate for you.”

I just had to whip my head towards him.

“What are you on about?”

Nanami removed his hands from being folded and started walking away from the room. I followed behind him and kept questioning him about his stupid mumuring back there but he wouldnt budge.

“Paid by whom?”

The calm voice questioned the shaky female admin that stood at the counter of the hospital.

“B-by the woman who…bought him here, S-sir.”

The man lowly hummed and snapped his fingers.

“Get me the name.”

The snap made the admin jolt and rushed to look at the files of the boy that was admitted five hours ago. The man impatiently leaned on her counter tapping his fingers on his table and even glancing at his men behind him.

“That’s rude of you not to ask the name of your savior, Uraume.”

The boy with the white hair in a wheel chair lowered his head.

“My apologies, Sir.”

The man replied poked his fingers on his subordinates forehead and pushed it to be lift it up.

“Take it easy, your head might fall off.”

At that moment the admin had found the boy’s papers.

“U-uhm…Sir, here is the name.”

The man looks over the counter and grabbed the paper board that was handed to him. He was silent for a moment looking over the information written until his eyes landed on what he truly wanted to see.

“Inagawa.”

⊹ ⊹ ࣪ ˖🐠₊ ⊹ ⊹ ࣪ ˖🐠₊ ⊹ ⊹ ࣪ ˖🐠₊ ⊹ ⊹ ࣪ ˖🐠₊ ⊹ ⊹ ࣪ ˖🐠₊ ⊹ ⊹ ࣪ ˖🐠₊ ⊹ ⊹ ࣪ ˖🐠₊ ⊹ ⊹ ࣪ ˖🐠₊

(part iv)

[lucidl0ser]

Hiiiii >.<

Could I request a Bungo Stray Dogs match up please ???

I use he/they pronouns, and I'm bisexual (preference for female, but the bsd men are FINE, so I don't mind which gender I'm pared with)

For personality wise, I don't necessarily have a consistent one, I guess most people would see me as hyper and silly (genuinely can't take anything seriously) but sometimes just can't force myself to do anything, and I get all numb and aggressive (pls sorry, I don't know how to describe myself better, if it makes sense I got so many mental shit, and nerodivergency 🙏😭)

I LOVE drawing, writing and reading, as well as listening to music and sleeping. (Sadly, I can't sleep in the light, it has to be 100% dark in the place I'm sleeping)

I don't like being told what to do, or forced to do something (eating, shower (yeye ik 💀), doing chores. I don't like most animals, and SO many people annoy me. I guess some people would also consider me rude (because I am being rude) as anyone i don't mentally like, i instantly hate. I dislike being touched, unless its someone I have given permission in my mind (or alloud) but the switch up is crazy sometimes XD

I cant stand when people ignore me sometimes, i crave validation and need to be reassured SO often that people don't hate me, but honestly i'd rather people come out and say they hate me, rather then think it. (LIKE I JUST NEED TO KNOW, IDC IF YOU LIKE ME OR HATE ME JUST PLEASE TELL ME)

Damn, im rambling and realizing now how bad of a person I sound 😔

Overall, around someone I would REALLY like and be able to open up to, i would just be calm and genuinely happy, but could be quite clinging, jealous and get paranoid.

Goodess, welp, hope you have a great day, and i would honestly be curious to see who would match my 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴

Bye bye <333

I hope you enjoy!!

You got...

.

.

.

Tetchō Suehiro!

○ Tetchō doesn't mind your switch up one bit! Whether it's all sweet, or you wanna punch him, he doesn't mind. Whatever makes you happy

○ If you need space, he complies almost immediately, going to do his own thing. But if you want his attention, it's all on you. He knows your insecurities, so at times he just tells you how much he loves you, and how he can never hate you

○ He knows watching someone draw could make them nervous, so he'd sit near you and pretend to read or be on his phone, but his eyes are on your paper discreetly at all times. He loves seeing what you draw, loving your creativity

○ On those rare times you're clingy, he immediately reciprocates, hugging you so ttightly. He also knows how jealous you get, but don't worry, he literally doesn't talk to anyone outside of the hunting dogs

[burgersnacksformax]

Shoutouts to Vasily Pavlichenko !

(General vasily HCs as well as Vasily/reader hcs)

*With bonus nsfw at the end, dw I tag it

Gender neutral reader, again

Order: general hcs -> vasily/reader -> nsfw

GENERAL HCS

Shoutout to the man who showers nearly exclusively with cold water every morning like a fucking SICKO (good for him).

Shoutout to the man who has one apron which he uses both for art and for cooking and refuses to buy another one because he says having more than one is unnecessary.

Shoutout to the man who has an entire shelf of his art supplies which he keeps very tidy and organized, but his workstation is constantly a mess.

Shoutout to the man who accidentally drank paint water when sleep deprived and didn't even notice until a few seconds after he swallowed it.

Shoutout to the man who used to consistently organize his art supplies by colour but has since has given up.

Shoutout to the man with like 69 pinterest boards all for really specific things and somehow is able to nagivate them with no issue.

SFW VASILY/READER

Shoutout to the man who, if you let him, will pull out his phone and take pictures or videos of you while hanging out, purely because he wants to always remember the small moments.

Shoutout to the man who picks you up like a cat sometimes just for the funnies.

Shoutout to the man who has the warmest tiddies to snuggle on a cold night. Or a cold day. Or a hot day. Why limit yourself (although he might not appreciate the last one).

Shoutout to the man who's so observant that he notices when something's bothering you before even you notice it.

Shoutout to the man who will drag you out of bed in the morning, he'll let you sleep in if you need it but. Do you smell that ? The breakfast he cooked for you both ? What're you gonna do, stay in bed and let it get cold rather than eat it with him?

Shoutout to the man who's impulse upon waking up to accidentally drooling on you in his sleep was to laugh first and THEN apologize.

Shoutout to the man who is the reason you watch your step while youre in his room / he's in your room, because he likes to lay down on the floor.

Shoutout to the man who allows you to bite his fingers like a cat.

Shoutout to the man who draws your favourite characters just to see you light up.

Shoutout to the man who stays up late drawing who you have to drag to bed with you or he'll be up for another god knows how many hours.

Shoutout to the man who, when he doesnt stay up late drawing, sleeps at a pretty reasonable time, and drags you to bed when you're up late.

Shoutout to the man who invites you to play fps games with him and supports you even if you have no idea what you're doing.

Shoutout to the man who likes to give you big hugs and lifts you up off the ground to spin you, but stopped ever since he accidentally spun your ankle right into the leg of a table and had to go get ice for you.

Shoutout to the man who lets you borrow all his comfy sweaters and jackets and calls you a bowling ball when you stuff your knees into the sweater while you wear it.

Shoutout to the man who cant handle spicy food for shit. You only learned that about him when you ate something spicy with him, and you turned to him bcs he was sniffling and he looked like he was about to cry.

Shoutout to the man who went stargazing with you only to accidentally choose the most mosquito infested place.

Shoutout to the man who wanted to have a candlelit dinner with you but evenetually got annoyed that he couldn't see the food and just turned on the ceiling light.

Shoutout to the man who didn't notice you were laying on the floor, almost stepped on you, then immediately noticed you and fell over and hit his head.

Shoutout to the man who got flustered like a schoolgirl after you did the kabedon to him.

Shoutout to the man that made cookies with you and cut them into cute shapes only for them to expand while baking and then become deformed, but he still tried to salvage them and it sort of worked.

Shoutout to the man who seemed so visibly distressed as he told you he couldnt find his favourite pencil anywhwre, only for you to chuckle and tell him that it was behind his ear.

I THINK THIS IS STILL SFW BUT IDK

Shoutout to the man WITH THE HAIRY CHEST ‼️

NSFW

Shoutout to the man who will overstimulate you, and when you tell him its too much, he'll give you reassuring kisses and whisper to you "you can do this" and "you're being so good for me" all while not letting up in the fucking slightest. He only stops if you directly ask him to.

Shoutout to the man who doesnt like to limit himself to fucking you on the bed, and likes to experiement in different places like over your table, on a chair, on the floor, against a wall, or wherever else you both can think of.

Shoutout to the man who tried to finger you but then winced and had to stop because he forgot that he accidentally burned his hand last time he cooked.

Shoutout to the man who you accidentally walked in on masturbating while groaning your name.

Shoutout to the man who, if you let him, pulls out the audio recorder on his phone while he's doing you so he can always listen back to the soft noises you made for him.

Shoutout to the man who sneezed when you gave him head, and couldn't help but chuckle when you mustered a muffled "bless you" while his dick was still in your mouth.

Shoutout to the man who accidentally came onto your bedsheet and wanted to clean it up, so he took some tissues and a cup of water to clean it off, but you accidentally kicked his arm while getting off the bed at the same time he tried to pour a bit of water, consequently spilling the water on the bed. The patch was still damp when you tried to sleep and you both ended up huddling on one corner of the bed to avoid the cold wet spot.

[beskindtoyourself]

i feel like im never gonna kill dermatillomania. im trying so hard but i lose hours to it, nights awake in the mirror-- i walk in to use the bathroom at at my worst have walked out eight hours later, four most recently. i feel like an ugly monster and so inhuman it makes me suicidal. why cant i stop?!!!!

First of all, I'm sending you all the love!! There is unfortunately no easy fix to the question of how to stop -- otherwise all of us would've done so a long time ago. So I can't give you a simple answer to your question, but I can tell you what helped me and give you some pointers on where to start in the hopes that any of it will make the difference for you too! 💗

Will make a cut after this, simply because the post would get pretty long.

There is two major things which made all the difference to me when trying to stop picking.

1. Identify your triggers

You've probably heard this before, but it really is so important. Becoming aware of ,and then eliminating your triggers can help you to not even let it get to the point where you *could* start picking, and that's the best way to break any habit.

You mentioned the mirror and being stuck in the bathroom - I mentioned in this previous post about showering that this is a danger zone for me too. Mirrors, especially if you pick at your face or chest/shoulder region can be the only way for you to see your own skin, so naturally it suddenly makes you aware of all your "problem zones". Mirrors in combination with often harsh lighting (yes hotel rooms, I'm looking at you in particular) can bring out details in your skin you otherwise wouldn't even be able to see - for good reason, because we actually don't need to see that!

So knowing the bathroom and mirrors is a place where you get stuck and slip into picking mode, my first advice would be to avoid this place as good as possible. Now obviously we all have to go to the bathroom at some point :) so we can't just avoid that room forever, but there *are* some ways to make it less triggering.

- Covering up mirrors has helped a lot of people I know (you can wrap a scarf or towel around it or even tape paper over it). If you can't see, you can't pick!

- Reduce the light if possible. When I'm tired and overwhelmed before going to bed, I only carry a little nightlight with me to go to the bathroom, so I don't have to turn on the headlights and can't see any details on my skin. Bonus points if the light is a different colour!!

- If you only need the sink and not the toilet, use another sink! Brush your teeth in your kitchen sink. Wash your hands in the kitchen sink. Clean your face in the kitchen sink (or any other skins you have outside of your bathroom that don't have a mirror, you get the idea)

- See here again for tips on showering

Other tips regarding triggers:

- Keep a log on when, where, for how long and why you pick your skin to become aware of your triggers. It makes you more aware of your own habits which is the first step to break them!

- See here for ideas on what to do with your hands if you often pick just because your fingers start to "get bored"

2. Identify the role of shame

Now this is a topic which has made a huge difference for me. The role of shame can have a huge impact on blocking your journey to stop and it really changed the relationship I have to my own bfrbs and my body to realise this:

If you pick your skin and you feel ashamed of it, it will most likely lead you to pick again to deal with that shame and so on, until you land in a vicious cycle of shame > picking > shame > picking.

The issue is here that you can't shame yourself into stopping or into loving yourself - that's something that can only be accomplished by applying compassion and love.

Now this one requires more time and patience and mental space to deal with than simply identifying your triggers which is why I'd recommend doing the latter first, but I wanted to mention it because it made such a difference for me, so it might do the same for someone else.

-

Finally here are some resources I have for you:

@/thankyourluckyscars on Instagram makes great and informative posts about skin picking and how to stop (also about shame)

@/pickingmefoundation has great resources as well, for example, a skin-picking log to help you track your triggers!

"Skin Picking - The freedom to finally stop" by Annette Pasternak is a great book I've gone back to for tips many times.

-

I hope any of this long post was helpful to you! Sending you once again all the love and strength for your journey and I hope you know you're not alone in it! 💗

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 26:

"Sometimes I get so tired, I don't even know myself."

Seeing double | working to exhaustion | "You look awful."

Fandom: Voltron (Carmen Sandiego au)

Prompts used: all

It's so short I'm sorry. Explanation at the end. But my brain wants to do long fics despite never letting me finish them. This was a shower thought AU, literally wrote the characters on my mirror as I panned them out. This one and day 28 are both probably gonna get some lore someday cause they excite me.

…

C thinks about the Isle a lot. It had been all he'd known, for the first 10 years of his life. Then he'd been failed. And he'd snuck out. And he learned what VILE really was. He'd met Player 1 and 2. He'd worked his way through another year of schooling, until he was able to escape, and with the Players' help, he found his new calling.

But the Isle had been his home. His family. And now… now he looked over his shoulder at every turn. Now he wondered if allowing Keith and Hunk to join him was a good idea. Now he had to keep four people safe, the world from being taken over, to steal things before they could be stolen, to keep his head on his shoulders and his mind his own andandand-

"You look awful." Keith's voice breaks him from his thoughts.

"Your eloquent thoughts always make my heart sing Mullet." He returns in deadpan.

"I think he meant," Hunk cuts in, elbowing the pale boy, "that you look like you could use some rest."

Keith looks both chagrined and annoyed, a true talent really, but nods anyway.

"Hey Blue, we got something from the VILE drive, you up for it?"

"Go ahead Player 1." C turns towards the nearest screen, the two siblings' faces pop on either side as the middle displays what they need.

"Alright so,"

Carmen Sandiego completes another successful mission, Carmen Sandiego outruns the Inspectors, Carmen Sandiego foils VILE's plans once again, Carmen Sandiego-

C runs along the rooftops, fleeing another mission- successful, but when the Inspectors were involved, there were flashing lights and headaches ugh, he didn't need that right now- his foot falters on his next landing. He could have sworn the building had been closer, but it was fine- oh… now there were two Keiths… that, that can't be good. His health cant take two Keiths.

"Uh you good Blue?" Oh gods they speak in unison. "You don't seem your usual self…"

"What am I usually like? I have so much to do, I can't… stop now." C holds a hand to his head as the two Keith's seem to spin, a gentle hand on his elbow steadies him, but he can't stop the flinch that comes with the action, "Ya know…Sometimes… I get so tired, I don't even know myself. I… don't know if I even… have a thing."

"Hey! Shit, you're not, UGH!" Keith has taken most of C's weight, face flushed as frustration burns in his eyes, he looks around the roof briefly, pulls them to the shadows before continuing. "Look. I'm so not the one who should be having this conversation right now, and you're probably not going to remember anyway, but,

"You've given four people who had nothing, something. You took your upbringing, and you're using it to save people. But you're holding the world on your shoulders, just… I don't know, rely on us or something…" he trails off in mumbles towards the end, burning from his roots to his toes.

C looks up at him with awe, it had taken them awhile to get along, past the weird competition they had going on. The Players and Hunk had been exasperated to say the least, but if they could see them now, he's sure they'd be just as surprised as him.

"How long have you been going Blue?"

"Since that night… when they almost killed the archeologist… they raised me, they're gonna outsmart me eventually… I have to be prepared-"

"You literally couldn't tell me how many fingers I have if I asked right now."

"I'd just need to know which one is askin'!"

"Not helping your point here. If you work yourself into exhaustion-" Keith pauses, seemingly remembering something, "You'll have no work left to give. Patience… yields focus… just let us help you."

"...wanna know my favorite… weapon…?" C's eyes are heavy, too long without motion and his body has decided it likes this new position and warmth.

"Sure."

"The lance…"

"Very stabby. 10/10. And it can double as a name."

"....'ts pretty cool. 'Etter than 'black sheep'." C's face twists up in disgust at the name he'd gone by for so long.

"Black sheep who? You're Lance Carmen Sandiego."

C- no, Lance's- eyes widened, staring at the pale face above him framed by dark locks with even darker eyes locked on his own- three of them, but they weren't spinning anymore so he'll take it.

"I like that…" His eyes slip closed, snuggles further into his blue trench coat and towards the warmth emitted from the race car driver.

VILE was always around the corner. But with Red, Yellow, Green and Grey lights shading his Blue, he could get some sleep.

[ I had like a whole plan, but it would have been so long. So here's a fragment of a maybe bigger fic someday if anyones interested. And yes I know, Keith would be a perfect Carmen! But Lance is my baby. Characters below for your pleasure.

Zack/Ivy: Keith and Hunk

Players: Pidge and Matt

Shadowsan: Kolivan

Inspector/Julia: shiro and adam

Director: Allura and Coran ]]]