#i want the energy of. like an internship?. again that energy was immaculate

[furoruisa]

I'm in my missing Ben and Devi hours

I want this two to give "Are you satisfied?" By Marina a meaning again.

[whyralltheusernamestaken]

Curse

Where she's cursed with immortality so she chases around the reincarnations of her first love over and over again and the one time she’s decided to give up, it just happens to be an explosive blonde.

Warning : none!

Words : 6590 (wtf my goal was 3000)

Masterlist 

A/N : Thank you all for being so patient. The ending is kinda rushed, but I hope you enjoy!

Quirks had left an undeniable mark on the face of society. It just came one day and slapped some magical powers on to someone and left just as quickly, with no explanation whatsoever. No one knew why, or how. Nothing could've hinted to the appearance of quirks and none of the decades of research that followed had any more insight into the matter. Y/N was quirkless. Immortal yes, but she had no quirk of herself. She was born a thousand and so years ago, in Japan, and within a decade or two, became known throughout the lands for her immaculate beauty and poise. She became an object of affection for thousands, and one of the men happened to be the emperor. Bakugou Katsuki. He had approached her presence with the sole intent of adding the most beautiful woman in the world to his harem. He was an arrogant and prideful noble, and the thought of her in his grasp has excited him to no end. He could then prance around with his head held up so high that people would crane their necks to meet his eyes. He smugly grinned at the idea of her clinging to his arm, or for her to be waiting for him back at the palace with the rest of his concubines. He flooded her with extravagant gifts, compliments and praises, small private dates in a back garden of the palace, away from prying eyes and complaints of Bakugou's other dozen girls. She had been easily wooed, being kept away from suitors from an early age, the emperor had certainly been her first escape into romance and she was ecstatic. Her parents had gleamed at the idea of her being with the most powerful man in all of Japan, and had given her away to the palace at the first suggestion of the emperor's affection. 

He had fallen in love with her, not only her beauty but her personality, her small habits and her other mannerisms. It wasn't his initial plan, he had only wanted to add her presence into his long list of women, that he had reassured the other women, but his heart can softened considerably and he had fallen hard. Anyone around the emperor could see that, even the towns' people were gossiping about it. The other concubines too, quickly caught on. She was a woman of absolute beauty, only a few hairs short of Y/N's, a princess of a famous descent from China, promised to be married to the emperor. He had taken a liking to her because like himself, she too had a quirk, which was still a very rare trait to have at the time. One of curses, sure it was evil in nature, but she had proven to be a responsible and respected lady. It all turned sour when her fiance liked another woman. In her rage, she had cursed the younger woman. The aforementioned girl had been told what had been done by the princess, by the sobbing and apologetic woman herself, but she was clueless to what extent this curse was. She had forgiven the princess straight away, an act of kindness that the nobles had shined to and the emperor had simply fell more in love with her for. But as countless years went by, she stayed the same. She then truly realised the horrors of her curse and at that moment in time, she wished she hadn't been so naive, so kind to just forgive the woman who left her life in ruins. The curse was one of immortality. Something she couldn't escape even after the princess had passed away. To watch her lovers grow up and prosper, only to stay the same young woman when she watched they started to wilt and eventually die.   And so here she was. An entity of over a thousand years old and yet she remained the same bubbly and happy woman on the outside, smiling brightly at the cameras as she walked around the towns. Everyone in Japan knew of her. Not only did her predicament attract the attention of the public, she was also the CEO of Japan's most well known and successful hero agency. She had set up the agency with her husband, Katsuki, a mere 18 years ago, before he was killed in one of the largest villain attacks in Japan history 2 years after it opened. They had employed All Might when he was in his younger days as well as worked with all of the top 10 heroes, and after his death, she become the sole chairman of the agency. And thanks to the technology present in the modern day, those who weren't previously interested in her at least knew her name. There was then the nickname the media had given her after she had survived the attack : ‘The Undead Hero.’ She sure as hell wasn’t a hero. For god’s sake she was quirkless! But the internet took joy to praising her successes within the hero world. And as a joke, an online petition started for her to become licensed pro hero and the people in charge decided there'd be no harm, since she can't die and all, in making her one, titling her in as Pro Hero Number Zero. So here you were, the country's first quirkless pro hero. ~~~ You had watched the UA sports festival, looking for students to intern here at your company. One certain blonde had caught your eye but you felt yourself flinch at the mention of his full name. It had certainly been a long time since the last time you met another reincarnation of your first love. There had been many different personalities before and the situation you met him in varied to such extent that you had given up with the idea of repeatedly seeking him out and your last encounter with him, or his spirit at least, was your breaking point. You have a good 16 years to grieve his unfortunate and untimely death but even the ten hundred years you were alive wasn't enough time for you to forget and move on. It seemed that you had a curse where you could never escape your one lover, but maybe that was the package deal with immortality. "We're definitely sending an offer out to him right boss?" your assistant, Naomi asked, writing down that all so familiar name down on a notepad. "Up to you, I'm taking a break." you replied, standing up and walking away from the big screen. You knew her eyes softened as she watched your figure retreat out of the room, after all she was there with you after your husband died. Your husband, the one who shared the same name as the boy mentioned. "Alright I'll send you the list later." she replied softly, before turning her attention back to the live broadcast, which now showed a green haired boy. "Thanks. I'll look over it and then you can send out the offers tomorrow." you said before completely leaving the room. It had been a week since the sports festival and it was time for the internships. You had a very important meeting in the morning, causing you to regrettably miss welcoming the trainee heroes to your agency. Standing up, you voiced your thanks and bowed, to which the other businessmen and women returned the guesture.

"I'll be expecting to see you soon." you smiled as Naomi showed then out. "Of course." one of them replied, smiling once more before all of them left the building. Waiting for them to disappear completely from sight, you turned back around. "Alright, what's next?" you asked, looking over. "Next we need to speak to the interns. Briefly would be fine but we need a positive review of our work place." she replied and started walking away, to which you followed. "Of course." you replied curtly. To be frank, you didn't need her to remind you how to keep up the reputation, after all you had been running the agency for almost 20 years but you bit your tongue as you didn't want her to feel as if her work was unwelcome. She was a great assistant and you knew that you needed her and her abilities. Turning the corner, someone roughly crashed you into you, sending you tumbling back a few steps. "Watch it." they snapped, sending to you a glare. "E-excuse me." Naomi stuttered. She wasn't too intimidated by the way the young boy was fuming, instead at her bosses reaction. You had a vendetta against extremely rude people and she braced herself for an ugly ending. "What?" he scowled, turning to send her a nasty look before he turned his attention back to you. You pursed your lips, unsure whether to snap back or not as you didn't want to cause a scene. The meeting had taken much longer than expected. It was only two in the afternoon but all you wanted to do was sleep, but you needed to meet the interns and consolidate the arrangements with the other heroes that worked here. "Well are you going to say anything?" he asked. "Why are you just standing there like a idiot?" "Young boy I don't think that's very appropriate to say to someone." Naomi said quietly, eyes flickering to observe your reaction. "Well it's true isn't it." You let out a sigh, deciding to not waste your energy on anything out of your plan, especially people who were unnecessarily rude. "Hey, don't ignore me." he shouted as you walked past him, your assistant shuffling behind you. You walked briskly towards the training halls, ignoring his shouts for you to acknowledge him. He eventually stopped to pick up a phone call but at that point you had already walked down two corridors, too far away to hear him stop shouting profanities at you. You pushed open the doors to the largest training hall in your building, leaning on the wall next to the door as you watched several people combat each other. You had stayed there for no more than a minute or too when the fuming blonde stomped back in. A green haired boy, Midoriya was it, waved excitedly at the him, but he simply flipped him over, moving over to the side of the hall. If they had any more interactions planned, they had to be stopped there as one of the heroes spotted you, quickly shouting for everyone to come over and you slowly walked onto on of the courts. "I'm glad you to see that none of you are slacking off." you announced loudly, your eyes scanning over the small crowd of people. "Of course not boss." a young hero replied. You smiled at her with a small nod. "Boss?" someone shouted and you turned slightly to spot the blonde from earlier, his mouth hung open. "It's nice to meet you Bakugou-san." you said, a small bitter edge to your words before you turned back to the rest, a large smile on your face. "Good afternoon everyone, it's a shame I wasn't able to welcome you this morning, I hope there hasn't been any trouble. My name is Y/N and I'm incredibly pleased that you chose to intern at my agency." "Y/N!" Midoriya shouted, a look of glee filling his face. "You're my favourite hero, I love you so much." he shouted, jumping up and down in excitement. The gesture from the boy made you grin even wider. It was almost as if some of his endless energy had been transferred to you. "That makes me very happy, thank you Midoriya." "She knows my name!" he shouted, earning a few praises and snickers. "Shut up Deku." Bakugou seethed. He was fuming at the thought of you. He had not only completely embarrassed himself in front of you, but also insulted you, the CEO! He cursed himself for not researching prior to this, but the fact that you seemed so young to him gave no implications that you were the big boss of this place. "Alright." you shouted, clapping your hands together. "Let's get this show on the road." ~~~ Midoriya had fallen asleep extremely quickly, a small 'good night Kacchan' and he had been out like a light. But the same had not befallen Bakugou and instead he stayed awake, shifting and turning restlessly as he lay on the bottom bunk. After a few more moments of him lying wide awake, he shuffled out of his bed and left the room. He walked down the corridor, planning to head towards the kitchen when he spotted a light on. It was indeed the same direction in which he wished to go so he followed it. Stepping inside the room, he saw you sat on the couch. Your back was to him and you were muttering something. As he got closer, he made out the words falling from your mouth. "He loves me, he loves me not." He turned around to exit the room, sure that you wanted nothing but space, but his foot slipped slightly and he fell slightly, cursing. You jumped at the sound behind you. "Oh I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" you asked, looking up and around at him with a sniffle. Your cheeks were flush and the tip of your nose red, a few stray tears resting on your cheeks. Bakugou stood their awkwardly as you wiped your sleeve across your eyes and cheeks. He didn't know what to do in this situation. He hadn't comforted someone in years, always opting to leave his group of friends to take care of a problem, only ever observing from the side line. "D-do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly. He tried to make sure his words were more gentle than usual, careful not to make you start crying again. Your eyes widened at his questioned but you slowly nodded. Patting the space next to you on the couch, you smiled slightly. "Have a seat Bakugou." You laughed at the irony. Here you were crying about your deceased husband as his reincarnation sat beside you, offer on the table to listen to your troubles. Your mind began to wander at the word troubles. What exactly in your life was going wrong? It was a simple answer really, everything. "So how are you?" you asked, breaking the silence. He blinked a couple times in confusion. "I'm good." he answered slowly, his voice low and hushed. "Well that's good." you nodded turning back to the lonesome rose stem in your hand that you had been previously picking the petal off from. "So why are you up?" you asked. Bakugou at this point was lost for words. Wasn't you the one who had been crying? Why were you so intrigued in asking him questions? "Couldn't sleep." he muttered, a glare on his face as he stared forwards at the coffee table, trying desperately to understand you. "Fair enough." you hummed, turning to look in the same direction as him, your eyes landing on your untouched mug of hot chocolate. "Do you want a drink?" you asked, gesturing to the mug on the table. "I haven't drank from it yet." Bakugou nodded, after all he had come out of his room for the hopes of getting a drink. "Thanks." he muttered. You watched as the boy brought the mug up to his lips and you thought back to your previous encounter with his spirit. "He liked hot chocolate too." you mumbled, turning away and back at the rose stem. "Did you say something?" he asked, mug in hand as he sent you a glance. You pursed your lips, taking a moment before shaking you head. "No, it was... nothing." you trailed off. "Well you accepted my offer so you'd better start talking." he scoffed, but his angry facade was falling apart almost as quickly as he started it and he was sure you could see through it, but you decided not to comment on it. And so you spent the rest of your night with Bakugou. He had proven to be much more thoughtful than you had imagined, less rude and obnoxious, which you were grateful for. It was obvious that he hadn't recognised you during your first encounter, and more than likely did not know about your immortality. You didn't need any more pity for that. So you talked about your husband, to an extent, keeping away from mentioning his name, instead reminiscing the memories you had with him. The younger boy listened, nodding and throwing in small comment here and there. The two of you exchanged a few more words after that topic, but in an hour or two, it was a simple silence. He had fallen asleep next to you, a peaceful look on his face. You got up and cleaned away the mug and flower petals, before returning to your room to get a blanket. Laying it gently on him, you took the liberty to press a kiss to his forehead before leaving, turning off the lights. "Sleep well Katsuki." ~~~ Bakugou was needless to say, very disappointing that he had barely seen you all week. He understood that you had a lot on your plate running a business, but a part of him had hoped that after your emotional night with him on the first day, you would at least take some time to say hello to him. He had went to the living room a further 5 more times, hoping that you would be there waiting for him. But he found himself being disappointed time and time again when he saw that there was no room with a light on in the corridor. Today was his last day of fully interning, he was due to leave the following morning and although he could say he was very happy to leave the other bastards in the company behind, he couldn't say the same for you. In truth, he had formed a small interest in you. Call it a crush or whatever, it wasn't as if he would say it out loud. Sure you had a pretty face and all, that much he would admit, but he was genuinely confused by your appearance. You said you had been running the agency for almost 20 years but you didn't look anywhere near your 40s? That had greatly puzzled the explosive boy. "Deku." he shouted, catching the attention of the smart boy as he was chatting with one of the heroes. "Y-yes Kacchan?" "How old do you think Y/N is?" he asked. The green haired boy gasped, shaking his head. "Kacchan! It's rude to ask about a girls age." he scolded him, to which Bakugou snorted. "But between you and me, I'd say about a thousand and one hundred?" "Are you shitting me you nerd?" he bellowed, hand raised with his palm upwards, ready to start an explosion. The hero chipped in. "I'd say so too. She's definitely over a thousand." she commented. "I think last year was her one thousand and seventyith birthday? I could be wrong, I wasn't invited to the party." she sulked. "You two are fucking joking right?" "We're not." the hero replied, furrowing her eyebrows before she let out a small gasp. "Are you telling me you've never heard of the boss?" "No. Should I have?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Yes!" she cried out, throwing her hands up in the air, before bringing them down and massaging her forehead. "You're overreacting." Bakugou stated, giving a deadpan look to the girl as he let out a 'tch' in annoyance. "She really not Kacchan, literally everyone has heard of Y/N. She's a massive sensation in the hero community but also the beauty one, I'm not sure how you've never come across her." The truth was Bakugou had come across your name on his browser, twice, maybe three times. But most of them had popped up during the start of the school year, when Midoriya had suddenly shown up with a quirk. So as soon as he read that you were quirkless, he made sure to avoid your name like the plague. Midoriya soon left to start his patrolling, and left Bakugou standing there, thinking about you. With many more questions than he had answers. ~~~ "Y/N." he said, standing at the doorway of your office and you and your assistant stared back in confusion. "Hello there Bakugou, is there anything I can help you with?" you asked. He froze up at your question. Why was he here? He had barged past some security just a few moments prior, saying he had something urgent to talk to with the boss, but now that he was here, no excuse would pop up in his mind. "Alright Naomi, give me a few minutes." you said, handing the papers you hand in your hand off to Naomi before she nodded and left. "So." you began, leaning forwards so both your elbows were on the desk and your chin rested on the back of your intertwined fingers. "Have a seat Bakugou." You gestured to the big chair in front of your desk and he complied, sitting down in utter silence. He opened his mouth to speak but it took a few seconds for the words to come out. "I haven't seen you in a while." he blurted out. He immediately wanted to slam his head into the desk before him, cringing at his words and the smug smile that you shot him. "If I knew any better, I'd say you missed me Bakugou." “Katsuki." he corrected, eyes trailed carefully on yours. You nodded and ran a hand through your hair.

"Honestly, I'd love to stay and talk Katsuki, but I'm on a tight schedule right now." you explained, tilting your head to the side as you waited for his response. "Will I see you again tonight?" he asked, his voice so quiet that he seemed almost... shy. Your smile grew wider. "Sure thing. I'll make sure to swing around earlier so you don't need to stay up so late waiting for me." He nodded at your response and started to get up. "Tell Naomi to come back in when you leave." "Alright." he muttered, turning away towards the door. "And Katuski?" you said, earning a grunt from the younger male. "I missed you too." He quickly turned away at your statement but you could see the tips of his ears grow red. Of course you had missed him. He was the only other person you confided in about your husband other than Naomi. But it was truly Bakugou Katsuki that you had missed. His soul that you had hopelessly fell in love with over and over again. The result was always the same, and after each time, you would tell yourself that it was the last. But he would always come back. And you, once again, would fall for him, like a drug that you simply couldn't fight the addiction of. And so you braced yourself for another heartbreak. After all, it was inevitable. ~~~ Bakugou had waited for you in the living room of the dorm space he currently stayed in, a cup of chocolate in his hands and one for you placed on the coffee table. You kept to your word and came earlier. It was around 11pm when you slipped into the dorm floor of the building. Seeing the light on, you made your way quietly towards it. "Hey." you said, your voice warm and gentle as he looked up towards you, moving to hand you the mug. "Thank you." You sat down on the couch with your legs crossed and he chucked a blanket to yo, to which you laid on your lap. "Is there anything in specific you want to talk about?" "You." he stated. You hummed in response. The rest of the night he asked questions about you, your immortality and more about your latest deceased husband, who he found out the name of. He recognised the hurt that flashed in your eyes as you recalled telling him about your immortality. He had be an accepting person, loving you for you as a person and paying little to no mind to your unchanging outer appearance. At least that was what it seemed on the outside. There had been times were his act slipped and he crumbled, talking about how he wanted to grow old with you, not for you to look the same when he was in his older years and your children looked the same age as you. But of course you hadn't even gotten the chance to think about having children, setting up the agency had taken up most of your time, and which to this day you still regret. You wished you had spent more time with him, appreciating him instead of work, before his dying moment. You hadn't thought too much about things, his presence made you live in the moment, not caring about any problems or consequences as long as he was with you. But of course he wasn't. He had left too early. The younger boy had wrapped an arm around your shoulder when you began to sniffle, grabbing a box of tissues from the table for you. After he was satisfied with the amount of answers you gave him, he opened up about the guilt that he felt for All Might's retirement. He told you about the things he witnessed during the fight against All for One, how utterly useless he felt. He followed with nightmares that visited him almost every night, how he was force himself to stay awake to avoid them, causing him to form a habit of being unable to sleep. You had been so understanding and sweet that the boy couldn't help but let out a few tears, relishing in your soft touches and soothing tone that he eventually fell asleep in your arms. The following morning he waited excitedly for you too see him off along with the other heroes from your company. But you didn't come. He left in the train with a heavy heart, head titled backwards against the glass window as he thought back. He hadn't seen you in the morning, waking up alone and in his own bed. He had wandered out into the living room, hoping that your figure would be sleeping on the couch, but alas, you weren't there. His way home was unusually silent. Midoriya had definitely picked up on it but when he attempted to talk to the blonde, he only received shouts and threats. He eventually gave up, opting to leave the teen to his own devices. Once Bakugou returned home, he unpacked him clothes, throwing everything into a pile to wash. He turned every pocket inside out and when he got to his pajama bottom, a small piece of paper fell out. 'Hey sorry I had to leave so early in the morning, here's my number if you wanted to talk more. xxxxx-xxx-xxx' He instantly smiled, diving for his phone, typing your number in just as quickly before he sent you a text. ~~~ It had been a few months since the internships and Bakugou had found himself calling you on a regular basis. It would mostly be in late into the night, with you obviously busy with your agency during the daylight hours. You would talk about your day, ask him about his. He would often complain about his classmates, maybe his teacher, but on some rare occasions he would say something nice about them, like how Shitty hair had improved in combat or that Deku was getting progressively less annoying. You listened, giving him tips about a variety of things, ranging from things about the general hero world or what he should get for his pink skinned friend's birthday. And he soon found himself hopelessly falling in love with you. He hadn't planned for this to happen. Fuck, he'd sworn to himself that he wouldn't. He didn't want to have to deal with the consequences of your immortality, but he found himself crawling back to you even at a bat of your eyelashes. Your grasp on him was truly... inescapable. He had been horrified at the thought, refusing to acknowledge your existence. Your calls would go through to voicemail, your texts left unread. You didn't understand why he was ghosting you, beating yourself up about it over a few glasses of wine as you slowly sunk into sadness. It was another simply another repeated loop and you recognised all of the signs, but you felt what was left of your heart completely shatter. Sure you had previous reincarnations reject you because they disliked, or even feared, the idea of you being immortal, but they had made it clear at the beginning, not half a year into talking with you daily. Your mood soured drastically, and Naomi had tried to persuade you into talking to her, but you refused to, keeping all of your thoughts bottled up. You buried yourself with more and more work, creating a wall around you that even the one or two friends you had couldn't break down, let alone your employees. The company continued to receive praise, by media and heroes alike, but what used to be your sole joy and pride left nothing but a bitter taste in your mouth. You had gotten so used to Bakugou's company that without hearing his voice left you so empty. And to save yourself from being hurt like a broken record on repeat, you gave up on love. ~~~ It was on an interview that Bakugou witnessed the true extent of what his actions had done to you. He had the unfortunate timing of walking in when Midoriya was watching your interview live on the big screen in the common room. Bakugou had initially refused to stay, but his friends had forced him to, saying something about how he should see how his old mentor was doing. He had complained to the point where his friends willingly let him go but instead he begrudgingly stayed, standing in the corner of the room with his arms crossed as he furrowed his brows at the screen You sat across from the interviewer, a tired expression on your face as you explained the agency's plans and future aims. The other woman nodded, asking questions here and there, and then it came to the questions fans asked. "Have you been taking care of yourself?" The question caught you off guard and your breath hitched. You tried to take a deep breath in but everything around you started to blur together into nothing but a background noise. "S-sorry, could I have a moment?" you asked, but before she gave you any answer, you had already left the set. At the same time, Bakugou slipped out of the common room, his heart clenching at the terrible state you were in. When he first met you, only a few months ago, you stood high with your head help up high, a sort of excitement in your eyes, an aura of authority when you dared to ignore him! But now you were reduced to short sentences and even shorter smiles, fake and forced. And unbeknown to you, you were doing the same to him. His loud shouts had reduced to smaller, and less often sharp erratic outbursts. The distance he had put between him and his friends was almost immeasurable and none of them could reach even close enough to console him in the slightest. He had shut the world out completely, solely focusing on training and school work. He gritted his teeth as he fought back the itch to call you, but eventually he relented, taking him phone out of his pocket and dialling on your number. He sure wasn't expecting you to pick up, but when you did, his heart felt elated. "Hello?" you asked, your phone on speaker by the side as you dried your hands in the bathroom, lookign at yourself in the mirror and giving yourself an encouraging nod. "H-hi." he whispered, locking himself up in his room as he sat down on the floor, his back against the door. "I'm sorry." ~~~ He was in his early twenties, too young to be giving up what his future held. You hadn't meant to choose his path for him, but you had indirectly done so when you said no. So there he sat with his head in his hands, cheeks stained with tears and the ring somewhere lost in the corner of his room. It was selfish, you knew, but the time you spent with him only felt like a ticking bomb, each week, day, hour even, was counting down to the day in which you would lose him. And you weren't ready. He knew it was a stupid move to make. After all, you have discussed with him countless times about how scared you were to commit to a relationship you knew would once again end up in flames. "Death is inevitable." he said, watching as you fiddled with his sleeve as you laid together on the couch. "Well not for me." you countered back. "If you could remove this curse, would you?" "I don't know Katsuki. I'm honestly so scared." You shifted so your face was buried in his chest. "I've seen what death can do and I'm just so, so scared." "I want to grow old with someone I love." you continued. "I really do. But I don't know how to feel knowing that was my last few years alive. I've been around for so long that I've become afraid to die." "I'm tired of the heartbreak, but there's always a comforting moment because I know you'll come back. Sooner or later, your soul will be back in my arms, whether it takes 20 years or 200. But if I were to find a way to remove my curse and you died before me, I'd never see you again." He found himself at a lack of words that day. Nothing would leave his mouth so the only thing he could do to comfort you was to hug you even tighter. Eventually something came to his mind. "What if I just find a way to be immortal too?" he asked. You looked up at him. "That's highly illegal Katsuki. Think about it, if you could easily do that, then everyone would be able to live forever. And normally, the effect of the quirk disappears as soon as they die." He hummed in response, mood downcast that he couldn't help you in any way. He spent the rest of the night comforting you to the best of his abilities. You truly had felt better after his words, but he didn't see the subtle change in mood. He wanted to reassure you, to be someone you could rely on. But all he brought into your life was constant worry. He replayed your words in his head on a loop. He already saw this coming, but his constant refusal to acknowledge his situation had led to his downfall.   You had sent him a quick message and in the following days, you hadn't picked up his calls in days. He had called your assistant as well as visited your company, but he was told you weren’t there. He cried in anguish at how hell bent you were at avoiding him, even going to the extent of having your employees lie for you. But he soon found that they weren't lying. No one had seen you in weeks and your fans had picked up on it fairly quickly. There were articles all over the internet, forums and interviews with her assistant and closest friend. "She has left on her own accord." Naomi stated as multiple cameras flashed in her eyes. You had told her you were out to seek happiness, as vague as it had been, and that she needed to cover for you during the month or so that you were gone. That was all of the information you had given her, before you disappeared without a trace. She sighed at your foolishness but part of her resonated with you, knowing she too would do anything for her love.  You sent Bakugou a 'I'll talk to you later' text, before taking apart your phone, leaving it under your pillow before grabbing your get away bag and leaving by train. His proposal haunted your every thought, and it drove you insane. He knew you were scared of commitment and heartache and yet he still asked you! You didn't blame him though. More so yourself. Nobody had made you talk to him about your troubles or reach out to him. You had given him your phone number. He could've left your company with new knowledge about the hero world and not about you, but he already had your heart and you had taken the opportunity to reconcile with your first love, regardless of whether it would leave you in ruins in the future. You were going to make this right. You were so utterly tired of the constant dull looming tide of sadness, doubt, anger. You wanted it to end, you really did. You had told Bakugou you were scared of dying. You were. But your greatest fear was losing him and you couldn't take it anymore. You raised your hand to knock and a large smile decorated your face. It had been a good month since you had last talked to him. You had set out to the remote countryside, searching for some young woman who had a curse removing quirk. 

You had gone with no expectations, telling yourself over and over again that you would be fine if it was unsuccessful. But deep down you knew you would be distraught if your current situation could not change.

The door opened to the blonde, his instantly furrowed his brows as his mouth hung open.

"Hey Katsuki." "Y-Y/N?" "I think I'm going to die-" "What?" he shouted, startling you. "Let me finish." you laughed. "I think I'm going to die in 50 or so years. Hopefully longer if that means I can be with you until old age." "W-what are you talking about?" he asked, confusion littering his face. "I'm no longer immortal." you grinned, before it fell slightly. "At least I think I am, the girl told me he got rid of the curse fully, but I’m not expecting too much." He continued to stutter, incoherent sentences falling from his lips as he fought back tears. "Surprise?" you asked, letting out a nervous chuckle. You started to grow worried at his reaction. You wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around him, but your feet stayed frozen in place, after all you had rejected him a month or so ago.   "Y-you got rid of your curse?" You nodded and he asked another question. "For me?" "Of course silly. Who else am I going to die with?" you laughed. His nose scrunched up as he tried desperately to comprehend the situation. "Aren't you scared?" "You'll be there with me right?" "Of course." he quickly said, nodding his head. "I thought." he trailed off and wrapped you up in his arms, head in the crook of your neck as his body shook with sobs. "I thought you left me." "I'm sorry." you said repeating it quietly over and over again. "I love you so much." "I love you too."

Taglist : 

@boku-no-family @toobsessedsstuff @renarderouges @thatonegeekchick @mrminyoongles @yourscorpiodaddy​

[randomoranges]

a blurby thing with the actual coolest title, clearly.

Soft Legume

Edward flumped onto the couch and snuggled up to his partner, letting out a deep sigh as he furrowed his face in Étienne’s chest. It had been another long day of work and he was glad to be finally home, away from the noise and never ending energy of the students. He could easily fall asleep like this, but for the time being, he was content being held, as Étienne rubbed his back and they slowly unwound together.

 It was nice that there was no noise – no background murmur, no chairs scrapping the floor, no questions to answer and no performance to give. For a few blissful moments, the only sound he heard was the one of Étienne’s heart beating steadily and the quiet hum of their home.

 “You know,” Edward said, close to an hour later, when he finally felt as though he could use words again and not want to bash his head against the closest wall, “I’m so fucking glad you’re also a teacher,” he told Étienne, sparring them a lazy glace as he looked up for a moment.

 “Oh?” Étienne asked as they resumed rubbing his back, the gesture warm and soothing and grounding.

 “Yeah; you get it.”

 Étienne nodded at that and they both fell quiet again.

 “I mean – you don’t make a big deal of me being exhausted and wanting to stay in on a Friday night and just – ordering takeout and passing out in front of a movie by ten. Or being too tired to have the house immaculately clean every single day, or something. Or having to – spend some non working hours doing work because there’s always something to do that needs to get done at home.”

 “What’s brought this deep thought conversation?” Étienne asked with a chuckle. Everything Edward had just mentioned was very familiar to them, after all.

 “I don’t know – I guess I was reflecting on a past boyfriend and how he never got it.” Edward shrugged.

 “Should I be worried?” Étienne teased.

 “Did you not hear the words “past” and “never got it”?”

 “That bad?”

 “The worst. Like – we met when I had barely started university. So, I still had a lot of free time and it was pretty great. He was in – I forget what he was in, but he was nearly done school and his job was a typical office job for some company where at the end of the day he was done work and that was that.” Edward continued, now that he had started with his story and was reminiscing. This had happened ages ago, really, yet, he was still annoyed and bitter about it.

 “We used to go out often; especially Friday nights and it was great at first, but when I started my last internship, I was exhausted. But – I made an effort and it was fine. Then, after I graduated, we moved in together and he just – couldn’t understand that suddenly, I couldn’t just – pick and leave when I wanted to. Like, he got mad I couldn’t go to some event of his once, because it was in the middle of the week and I couldn’t magically take time off. And – for some reason he expected me to make dinner every night and would get annoyed when all I could force myself to make was toast and eggs.” He let out a deep breath and sat up to look at Étienne properly, “You have no clue how much I’m so fucking grateful we can just have cereal for dinner sometimes and call it a day.”

 Étienne laughed and gathered him close, “He sounds like the worst – I’m glad it didn’t work out for you. Also, please, I love our Thursday whatever meals.”

 “Yeah – me too. I mean, I know it’s a little unconventional that we work together, live together and are together, but – we still get to do our own stuff when we want to and you’re not always asking me to spend every moment with you. He’d also get upset that there were nights I’d go to bed at nine because I was too tired from the week and for some reason, he was extremely allergic to the idea of just – staying home and having a quiet night in. I like going out, I like doing things, but sometimes it’s nice to stay in and just – do nothing specific.”

 “I get it,” Étienne reassured him, “What did you even see in this guy?” They teased.

 “Retrospectively? I have no clue. I was young and foolish.” Edward laughed.

 “I’ll say,” Étienne agreed, “But for what it’s worth – I’m also glad you get it. Teaching definitely has its quirks and I’m glad you don’t make a fuss when I wait until the weekend to do some of the cleaning, cause I’m too exhausted to do it on whatever day we’d once said we’d do cleaning. At the end of it all, I just want to spend some time with you, really, even if we only get to watch a movie and pass out by ten. I’m glad we can be soft legumes together.”

 Edward smiled at him, a soft little thing that was just for Étienne, as he resettled against them. He’d dated other men afterwards, none of which had been as intense and some which had been understanding of his job and the particularities of it, but in the end, he liked this scenario best – liked the life he was building with Étienne.

 FIN

[shytiff]

Apr 2021 Wins

Started typing this on 4th apr lmaooo

1 - went to mcd. bought chicken + rice with the app promo. there’s a staff helping me on the order machine lol i feel badd there’s no need to do thatt. ate my lunchmade by mom at mcd’s muschola and went to sbux bcs its tumbler day. green tea latte w skim milk as usual. sent dr triya’s translation. ecmocard. started rereading goong (AGAIN. i probably have read it like 3 times minimum). still bring some feels

2 - its holiday today. spent almost the whole daylight rereading goong (turns out its pronounce ‘gung’ not ‘gong’ lol ive been wrong all this time) and finished it. the scene where they stare at each other, separated by the castle door, always gets me. got the old ipad charged (the screen are like 30% close to detaching and falling apart) and started AOT

3 - spent the whole day reading AOT. i like it when i have mini purposes in life (eg: finishing a manga series). AOT rly talks a lot about what do you want to do in life, the consequences of your choices and how you have to live with it. i felt triggered in a good way. the characters dont rly judge other’s choices, but they question them. discuss about it. give you some moral push. second gladi today. my vbg was still filpped hhhh. read aot until i felt sleepy and fell asleep. woke up very near subuh and prayed isya. my toxic trait is the horrible self care (and im talking bare minimum lol hehe lmao)

4 - finished aot. Asked irun about some aot explanations and she sent 5 paragraphs in one bubble. Slept. Flavola, kopsus coklat and somay. Also ate japota honey butter. Did 1 long input of ecmocard. Followed baepsae choreo. Moved my body a bit. Wow im not immediately sleeping. Amazing

5 - arrived at harkit 11-ish and went back about 1pm loll. super hungry when im arriving in kalideres. bought tahu colek worth 3000 (i wonder how the seller hears me through my 2 layers of mask), roti sisir and some ice cream in alfamidi. my fitlife protein powder ran out again. its my 2nd already. did some ecmocard, wasted my time after maghrib

6 - woke up late. did not have the mental strength to go to harkit so i decided to just stay home. bought sbux 1L green tea and macchiato. wasted the daylight and finally did some ecmocard in the evening,,,,

7 - off to harkit 7.30-ish pm in the rain. Took some data for ecmocard. Went to salemba to get tabung and surat bebas pustaka. Had breakfast slash lunch first, tried guudfuud (red rice, beef and omega egg). I like that the rice was not too much. Met up w ness ren and talked about isip dilemmas at sky. Afterwards went to flavola. Ordered mie rebus and roasted milk tea cause i somehow feel sooo hungry and in need of calories. It tasted so good, i was sitting in my usual seat facing the window, and the sky was a mixture of blue and grey. Brought croissant and sakura pocky at indomart. Ate the bread immediately after indomie. Went back home. Juan brought tahu gejrot that was delicious and crunchy. Internship files briefing by akis. Fell asleep

8 - woke up. Saw that dr retha was up for interview. Panicked. Thankfully it was at 12. I left home at 9:40 ish and arrived 11:50. Its a long ass way. Turns out i was interviewed with ka agassi. The doctors are so kind. They explained the gist of anesthesiology profession, and how its a choice you make, and its okay as long as you like what you do. Tried halo bowl for lunch. Sous vide chicken, rice, caesar sauce, beef bacon, and the deliciouss butter broccoli. Went back to kalideres and to starbucks. I only spent <2 hrs in there (a waste of money, i know). Bought decaf hazelnut latte (apparently the beans were kenyan something? Medium?) and butter croissant (need to cushion my stomach). Did GCP certification and sent it to the ever so kind mba Ai. Still got energy from the caffeine, did some ecmocard, read quran, read.... Toji fanfic 🤦‍♀️

9 - went to rsf w mom. We took the wrong way and had to take the long way but thank god theres still time to spare. Met dr rara. Some briefing. Went to rscm w agassi, submitted files for ijazah, went back to RSF. Girlll the cost of transport. MRT: 12K. Grab: 16-17k. Thats one way trip. Bought food at rsf canteen. Eocru briefing by the research coordinator. Ward tour w dr retha. Snacked on ovaltine provided by mba ai. Went home after maghrib by tj. Liqo along the way. Glad bersih (came late). Drank macchiato for some strength but still fell asleep quickly.i shouldnt have laid down

10 - kebakaran jenggot in the morning due to green screen positioning. Finally got the appropriate setup (after many fabric tries and cutting my mukena) at 08:30. Finished showering 08:45. Zoom was opened at 9 lmao. Somehow finished before 09:30. Zoompah w mom and dad along side me. After its ovee, some "photoshoot" w fam. At this point i was truly rly sleepy. Took of my makeup. Changed my clothes. And then racil silv dev showed up lol. I got gifts c: and then atikah came. And then i redid my makeup, this time with the help of friends to create fantastic eye make up look (which i can never pull off). Eyebrows by sil, eyeshadow and liner by cheldev lol. Took some photos. Dajen came. Talked. Videocalled w pupuy. A surprise gift from fianti came. And then chel dajen went back at 8. Still cant sleep. Slept at like 11-12

11 - lazed. Woke up, ate pizza (mom bought 2 of phd's 1m pizza) and bakwan, slept again. Matcha latte and ecmocard. Watched a bit of 2nd sinau

12 - off to rsf at 06:20. Arrived 07:15 ish. Lunch was ayam penyet accompanied by snacks that mba ai bought. Off to harkit at 14:05 (bcs my laptop somehow shut down and i lost all the unsubmitted data). And then off to kalideres at 15:30 ish to meet up w clara and search for clothes for almira's wedding. Went to lippo bcs clar saw this dress that kinda looks like the brokat given. We ate at ramen ya. It doesnt rly make you feel full, the filliny sensation was kinda like indomie. Saw that the dress looked different. Ate 1 boba pancake together at banban. Continued on to the tailor in kebon jeruk. The location was in an alley, and it was raining lol. Quoting clara: "the unnecessary struggles". The tailor was quite helpful (and she looks experienced). Arrived at clara's at 8 ish. Picked up by mom with car (it was raining) and arrived at abt 9. Hurriedly showered and tarawih and tidied up AND ITS ONLY 09:45. Its crazy how efficient one use time (and at the same time, how wasteful one can be)

13 - first day of fasting. The morning was spent taking samples. I stupidly took a sample thats not yet labeled im sorry :(((( i felt kinda tired and wanted to give up this. Give up anesthesia. Went back home at 14:00 and its cloudy. The bus was the nicer types and it was COLD. Read quran along the way. Picked up by juan. Opened laptop. And then its iftar time. I was sooo sleey and the tarawih was so long thst i closed my eyes along the way. Fianti called after tarawih, we talked til abt 21:30. And then i fell asleep

14 - went to rscm. Submitted serkom files. Met dr dyah and i hope we could somehow meet her again if we study in fkui again aamiin. Went to rsf by mrt. Arrived in lebak bulus just before it was raining. The bus took a while to arrive (usually theyre there, waiting). Its still raining like crazy so i took grabcar to AR from pesakih (39k). Played with my phone til iftar. Played phone again after tarawih and fell asleep

15 - i felt rlyy lazy and cant bring myself to wake up. Off to rsf at 07:15. There were coordinator ppl. Took sample. It was raining when i went back but i took grabbike from kalideres. Wasted my time and did not do ecmocard

16 - sampling. Snacked on keripik pisang at the room. Went back early at 13:15 ish. Picked up by juan. Sleeeept (and this is before the nightmareish mistake began)

17 - i did a mistake by telling dr retha (who took the sample today) the wrong patient (it switched in my unreliable memory. I feel terrible. Thank god shes quite chill abt it (?). Read jujutsu kaiseeen. Went to flavola. Did 1 ecmocard. Went to bandar jakarta baywalk by motorbike. Spent 135k and was quite full with many varieties. Arrived home at about 20:50. Turns out juan also had bukber with his friends. Phone call with fiiii, talked abt dimrob

18 - lazed all day, read jjk, finished my part of ecmocard (gave genky to ekal cause i was a dumbass at getting data). Ate mom's mentai rice, siomay. Drank green tea latte. Read jjk til 145 (mentok) at night. Proceeds to consume all things jjk lmaoo

19 - we took sooo long to get samples. Finished at 13:00. Went to rm with dr rara. Went back home. Watched the third sinau. Read the IMMACULATE jjk fics by celestialmechanics im IN LOVEEEE with the way s/he writes ughhhh

20 - samples took faster than usual. Mba ai did not came today. Went to RM and did some work there. Off to AR by 15:00. Arrived close to maghrib. Did not do any work afterwards lmao. Did not even wash my face

21 - magang as usual. Note to self: sit on the right side of the bus. Did nothing yesterday. Felt like shit after tarawih (but i showered before maghrib!!)

22 - todays problem was the swab sample not being there even though the staff allegedly already took it. Huft. Took a shower and out on vitacid (i cant remember the kast time i put on vitacid 😳 its probably been... a week or two?

23 - samples finished quite quickly. Already going home at 12. Lazedddd and lazed and lazed. Waited for emir to pick me up so i went to dm. Read an immaculate itadori x megumi fix thats just full of feels. Started demon slayer lets see

24 - literally just laid in bed reading manga and seeing tiktok and slept again and suddenly its 1 am. Showered. Still in a lazy mode. Havent begun clires work. Watched leah's vlog that said "go do things youve been putting off!". Finally finished the third and last video of Sinau Yuk ICU class with dr. Zeta, SpAn lolll even though the actual last class was on 7th apr. iftar was fish and chips and salad yuum

25 - woke up at like 1am since i slept too much yesterday. Ate tan ek tjoan bread and drank sbux matcha latte. Did some intern work. Read a bit of quran. Sahur. Cant even sleep again so i showered. Off with mom and dad (09:30) since dad’s going to get vaccinated at skk migas. Mom drove me to ara’s place (11:00). Talked a bit and even read quran again there. Off to GI (13:00) to meet up w regen. Walked around. Bought a discounted TBS green tea facial wash. Went back home by TJ (16:00). the bus station is a bit closer now. Arrived home close to maghrib (17:30). hurriedly showered and went to sleep (properly) after tarawih. A good good sleep since i got 9400 steps today and that tired me out lmaooo (bare minimum yall, i know). 

26 - woke up still sleepy. Slept again after iftar and woke up at 07:30. Skipped shower and off to RSF lmao. Went to medical record. Walked to the front of RSF originally planning to go to lebak bulus by angkot but i saw none. So i went through mrt instead. Stopped by at kebon jeruk and walked 800 meter (that tireeed me and made me feel parched under the sun) to risma busana for clothes fitting. Took gojek to jembatan gantung (turns out the closer halte to flyover was taman kota). Iftar was chicken noodle and risol and banana and i felt fullll and i slept

27 - today is off day since im alternating with agassi. read quran. watched shadow and bone (with 1,5x speed except for kanej and matthias nina scenes). didnt rly do any magang work except the table asked by dr retha. i feel like usually im operating on 70%. sleeping more doesnt rly add that. i need caffeine or physical activity. before i know it, its close to iftar.

28 - i ((felt)) like i had a decent amount of energy today. shouldve done some work between sahur and leaving the house but i ended up reading vampire knight lmaoooo the scenes had no business bringing so much butterflies. sampling together w agassi. mba ai didnt come in today. after agassi left did some magang work. i also went to RM to ask for more RM to bu dian. took angkot to lebak bulus for the first time. paid 5k. i had no idea which angkot went to lebak bulus and the driver (somehow knowing the right words to say) said “lebak bulus lebak bulus”. didnt read much quran on the way back. i just close my eyes and relaxed. felt kinda low on sugar. watched more shadow and bone on the way back and at home until close to iftar. didnt do anything after tarawih. slept hoping i woke up early (which i did, at 3am. but i slept again)

29 - im supposed to have ample energy but i just stuck around my bed until its time to get ready to go. read some kanej fic lol. I dont rly do anything productive after arriving home

30 - made intern log, magang as usual. Did not go to rm. Finished watching shadow and bone. Rested bcs tomorrow's saturdayyy

[vydante]

ey babe! i jus wanna ask, how’s restart? ya wanna share any plans you have for it for the future? and btw, i love the story and your writing!

Hi hun!

It’s- honestly?

Ch.11 went a whole different route than what I was planning on doing (hell, I’ll even put the TWO whole ass drafts under the read more; warning, it’s SUPER long and I’m never using it so no losses on my part) but I’m happy it went the way it did haha. I finished it in 2 solid days, even if it took me months to update.

Uhh, as for future plans...?

*SPOILERS FOR RESTART? But not really?*

Next two chapters we (SHOULD BE, NO GUARANTEES) are gonna be dealing with CA:TWS... Then, right afterward, we may or may not have a filler chapter, and then we’ll dive into a certain Sokovian base (wink wink). As for AOU... Hm. ;)

AAAH I have so much stuff I wanna tell you guys about :,)

Well, so far that’s what I (canonically) have lined up.

As for other junk: I have 4 specials drafted, 2 What If’s (not canon, but mainly for filler and exploring unused ideas :D) and like, a couple out of place chapters that I wanna slide in the future arcs.

BTW, I have a question to ask: if I had any trashed drafts or whatever, do you guys wanna read it? I’ll post it all in one post (other than Ch.11, I don’t have any other trash right now, but still), probably here.

Anyways. Below cut is the cut draft PT.1 for Ch. 11. WARNING: it might be super incoherent.

Admittedly, Project Renaissance was a huge file.

Of course, it wasn't just all about one particular thing. No, there were files and files that lay underneath it, but even then each one was just as large as the other.

There were ones like 'World Domination', where it was just filled with new projects and products for Stark Industries, like prosthetics (SI really branched into the medical field after your dad made Rhodey his leg braces) and newer editions of tablets, phones, and laptops, too. Hell, even your car and motorbikes blueprints were on there, too- something SI had never dived into up until you had taken over. Improvements in cleaner energy were also there, but that's been the main target for SI for years, so that didn't really count.

Then there were files like 'Supernova' and 'Milky Way', which were a bit more important than others. Project Supernova had to do with Extremis. You wanted to stabilize it as much as possible, then throw it into the darkest corner possible and never have to look back at it; you only wanted it to serve as a... The last resort, of sorts.

Yeah, sure, Tony had a stable version of Extremis locked and loaded, hidden deep into the Tower's database, but it was barely usable. And as for Project Milky Way, it's more or less a Stark Internship program. It'd be really beneficial to high school (and maybe middle school) students, so you suppose...

("More like an excuse to properly recruit that Parker boy," DAHLIA snarks. Brat.)

But what had your constant attention were the big dogs, which, if you remembered correctly, should be happening quite soon.

Files like 'Snakes In The Grass' (S.H.I.E.L.D.-RA), 'Hot Tub Time Machine' (Sargeant Barnes), and 'On Your 6' (Project Insight) all had your attention right now, and for obvious reasons, as you nervously glance at your calendar.

3 more months. 

That was about all the time you had left before the big day was supposed to happen, and you were nowhere near as prepared as you should be. 

Sure, you had lots of contingency and protocols planned out already, but there was only so much you could predict what would happen. 

God, it sucks that you're not 21 yet, because your mind sure is buzzing for some Jäger right about now. You're not an alcoholic by a long shot but... You glanced at a picture of you and your dad.

You sure as hell understood alcoholics, though.

And for that, you needed to get your hands on B.A.R.F. All you need is to remember that one guy's name...

"DAHLIA, pull up the files for, ah... What was his name? Quin... Quincy? No, no... Gw- Quenti- Quentin Bank- Beck? Beck. Quentin Beck- give me his file."

"I was worried you were having a stroke."

"I will if I don't see his file in T-minus 1 second."

You wiped your jittery hands clean of any leftover muck, definitely feeling 5 shots of espresso and 2 hours of intermittent sleep finally taking its toll. You glanced through the files that she had pulled up. There were the basic files: his biography, works, and reports, but those weren't what you were interested in.

"Filter it for anything regarding- uh- B.A.R.F. Like- eh- Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing."

All of the files slimmed up to where it was all organized in one, neat folder. You quickly skimmed through all of it, but it all seemed to be experimental work. For now, anyway.

"Progress on B.A.R.F.?"

"Mr. Beck and his team are currently

There he was, in all of his glory. Though he was immaculately dressed in all black, just as you remembered when you and your dad had to clean up the mess that was the fight on the highway. 

God, he's even bigger in person.

"Identify yourse-!"

As much as you didn't want the room to look like a hospital room, you hadn't exactly had all the time in the world to prepare the room for the man of the hour. 

Still knocked out, 

"Hey, Jon Snow. You 'wake?"

Taking a closer look at him, he looked a lot more worse for wear than you had remembered him being. Then again, the Barnes you saw was completely free of the brainwashing, a-la Princess Shuri and the Wakandan scientists.

(You knew eavesdropping was wrong. It didn't need an explanation as to why.

But despite all that, you made no effort to walk away from listening to the conversation that was going on between your dad and Prin- King T'Challa. It was obvious to you and your dad- along with anyone else with a brain in their skull- that the ex-Avengers (or, at least, Barnes)- was in the nation that was Wakanda. You didn't know how your dad had managed to skirt around that with T'Challa, but you didn't really care.

You just wanted to know what they're gonna do about it.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Dr. Stark? While I know that I, along with Mr. Barnes as well, would appreciate your more than generous offer... I also understand that there is... Tension between the two of you..."

Generous offer?

What the hell is T'Challa going on about? What offer?

"Just... promise me one thing."

"Just... I don't want him to- to try and find me. And if you can't do that- then... Then at least make sure he doesn't get near (Name)."

You bristled.

What?

"(Name)? Your son?"

"Yeah."

"If you could oblige me, may I know your reasoning?"

You strained your ears to the best of your abilities, but even your dad's murmuring was too intelligible for you to make out any words.

"I... I see... If those are your terms, then we will graciously accept the use of your Binarily Augmented Retro-Framing technology for Mr. Barnes's recovery..."

What?)

Your dad was more than happy to not take partial credit for Barne's recovery, so long as it was kept a promise that Barnes stay every little bit away from him (and you, surprisingly enough).

So, it was really unfair that you pitted 2023 Barnes against...

That.

Blank eyes stare directly in front of him, and interestingly enough, he doesn't make an effort to look you in the eye. He's strapped in his chair for extra precautions, but the lingering resignation in his eyes, no matter how blank they are, makes you want to vomit. It makes you sick, knowing that after each mission he's sent out on, he's probably getting strapped back into a goddamn chair and getting his whole hard drive wiped and reconfigured...

You glanced away from him, subtly bringing your hand up to your mouth. You coughed, praying that nothing comes up to your mouth as disgust fills your gut.

"Mission parameters incomplete."

His voice was quiet, for what it was. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but the softness of it was a surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"Mission parameters incomplete."

"Ah, man..."

"Yeah, no, how am I not surprised...?"

"Uh, hm. Hm, hm, hm..."

You pursed your lips.

He visibly perked up- either that, or you're kind of losing it.

"Oh well, that doesn't matter, I can fill the air with my gibberish anyways."

No response. Just a bleary and blank stare.

At least he was looking at you.

You smile.

"That's fine. Either way, as long as I have a say in it, you're not going back to HYDRA. I'll make sure of that, Barnes."

[auvan]

#2- Van McCann

REQUEST: Anonymous: Just read #1, liked your writing a lot! Could you maybe do one in which the reader is studying something like sound engineering so she gets an internship working with the boys’ sound team, and Van eyes her a lot and tries to make conversation all the time but she’s kinda shy at first? And then they become friends but they obviously like each other? Sorry if this is oddly specific, it’s the first time I make a request lmao Thank youuu, xx Anonymous: i need some serious van angst like where the reader upsets him or something but they make up and its cute af

Word Count: 2396

Note: I combined a full request with a vague one, so I did change things up a bit. I’m pretty proud of this one, and all feedback is appreciated. Please, please, please feel free to request.

When you were first accepted into the summer internship program at your university, you were ecstatic. Initially, you weren't told much about exactly what you'd be doing, just that you were heading out on a nationwide tour with a rock band to study in your field for the summer semester. You learned that you'd be directly practicing your hand in audio engineering. You felt a bit out of your element at first, and rightfully so. You were one of the youngest and by far the most experienced on the tour.

You met the tour in the big city just short of a week after your semester ended. The sound team was extremely kind and open, immediately bringing you up to speed on everything going on. At the first soundcheck, Van McCann lit up the stage like a true star. He was so full of energy and carried so much pride in what he did. He was all smiles and laughs.

He took his time introducing himself to everyone he didn't know and greet old friends and crew members, and something made you want to fade into the background in that moment. It wasn't that you didn't want to meet him, because holy shit, you did. Just, something about him made you nervous and far more shy than usual. When he got up to the sound crew, he greeted everyone in the order that they stood. You were last.

“I’m Van!” He was clearly excited and happy. He had a smile worth a thousand words. “Great to meet you, Love. Are you the new sound intern?”

“Um, yeah. I’m Y/N.” You tried not to blush, or shake, or give away how nervous you were. But your voice totally didn't get the memo and cracked, betraying the cool vibe you were trying to portray.

“Pretty name, pretty girl.” Van grinned, and straight after, someone called his name. “Excuse me, that's my queue.” He joked.

As he jogged off, you sighed to yourself. It wasn't that you didn't want to meet or know Van, because you definitely did. He just seemed far too cool, calm, and collected for you. You brought your hands up to your mouth and chewed at your nails, bringing your focus back to what the sound engineers were describing to you.

It wasn't unusual for you to get shy. It was almost a part of your character. When it came to Van, though, your shyness seemed to intensify. He had a way of carrying himself that was unintentionally intimidating. It wasn't something you found yourself coping with. Many people mistook you for rude or snobby, but you were really just shy. You found yourself easily intimidated and your shyness could often turn to defensiveness, but once your walls came down, you were sweet, kind and funny. It just took a while, and most people didn't care to stick around for you to get there.

As the next couple weeks progressed, you fell into a peaceful routine of skipping from city to city, learning everything about professional sound engineering. You'd become close with the bands on tour, but still found yourself hiding away when Van approached you. In most cases, you were able to dodge him gracefully, ducking around equipment or finding someone else to talk to. In the rare occasion that you couldn't dodge Van, you'd talk short and sweet, doing your best to come across as busy or tired or find another excuse to end the conversation.

It was a Thursday afternoon, about two hours before the boys were to hit the stage, when Van caught you outside having a smoke. “Can I join you?” He smiled, pulling a cigarette from his pack before you could answer.

“Sure thing,” You smiled. Your nerves were in full force. Wiping your sweaty palms on your jeans, you tried to finish your smoke as quickly as possible. When you looked up, you noticed Van was watching you. You watched back, not saying anything, but rather trying to cope with him being so close to you.

Van was pretty. Probably the most handsome guy you’d ever seen, if you were being honest with yourself. His eyes were so blue, like the brightest sky or the clearest ocean. His bone structure seemed to be carved out perfectly, and the way he pushed his hair back was incredibly sexy. God. You could’ve kissed him right there. Instead, though, you found yourself ducking away.

“Are you avoiding me?” Van’s voice startled you. You wanted to cringe, but you didn’t.

“Yeah,” You shrugged. Maybe he’d save you from suffering and just leave you alone. “I guess.”

“I’ll leave you be then,” He shook his head. “No need for you to run off. Again.”

You definitely didn’t mean to upset Van. That clearly wasn’t your intention. But the way he blew smoke from his mouth with a huff and walked away made you want to cry. This wasn’t the first time your shyness had driven someone away, and you feared that it wouldn’t be your last. You wanted to turn around and follow him and yell “I’m sorry! You make me nervous! I don’t want to make a fool of myself!” But instead, you turned inside to be met by Larry rolling his eyes.

The next few days after that seemed to drag on in a daze of weird gazes and angry looks. Okay, the angry looks were really only from Larry, but whatever. It still sucked. If anything, it made you more shy. You wanted to crawl into a hole, but for now, your bunk would suffice. Something about knowing that you upset Van made you feel equally anxious and horrible. On one hand, you wanted to find him and tell him that you did want to know him, he just made you nervous; that you'd always been shy and easily intimidated. On the other, you were pretty sure that your heart would explode before you could get all the words out.

In all reality, you loved every second you spent around Van. He was incredible to watch on stage, and his voice was somehow soft and smooth and rough all at once. Your job, as an audio engineer, was to make the band sound as good as possible. You felt like he made your job easy, because holy shit, he always sounded incredible. So did the others. Catfish and the Bottlemen sounded immaculate together. There was so much raw talent that it was almost overwhelming. Almost.

Finally, the tour was halfway done. It was bleak at times, but also the best time you'd ever had. The half tour celebration fell on a Wednesday night, and the entire band lineup and the crew went out for drinks. You'd particularly warmed up to Kim, one of the publicists. She was in her early 30s and probably one of the most radical people you'd ever met. She helped you a lot, specifically through homesickness, motion sickness (from the bus), and of course, your incredible shyness. She seemed to bring you out of your shell just enough to convince you to come along with everyone else.

Drinks came quickly, and the fruity ones were better than any shitty drinks you'd had at the pubs near your university. You found yourself watching members of the bands and crews taking turns doing karaoke, or picking songs from the jukebox to dance to. You, against what assumed would happen, were having a blast. Even if you just stayed in one spot. Van was probably the worst dancer you'd ever seen, Larry being an extremely close second. You thought about joining them, but the thought seemed to cause your palms to sweat once again. Maybe someday, you decided.

Whoever decided to call alcohol liquid courage was right. For whatever reason, when you watched Van grab his jacket and announce that he was heading out to smoke, you joined him.

“Hi,” Your voice was smaller than you intended. “I know we didn't get off on the right foot. I’m sorry about that. Really, I think you're so cool. And fucking talented, Van. Just, you make me nervous. I’m already shy as fuck, and you make it worse, and I know I came off as a bitch, but I really just want to be your friend.” In one big breath, you got all of that out. Your cheeks were flushed red and your hands were shaking (partially because you'd forgotten your jacket).

“I’m sorry,” Van laughed. Not in a cruel way, but rather, at himself. “I just figured you were too good for me. I guess I didn't even think that, maybe, you were feelin’ a bit shy.”

“Yeah,” you laughed back, trying to stay as cool as you wanted to be. “Still, I’m sorry.”

“You're proper cute, yanno?” Van ignored your apology. Your cheeks flushed deeper.

“Friends?” You held your hand out.

“Friends.” Van shook your hand, holding it a lick longer than he had to.

From there out, things were breezier. Van always joined you to smoke, and you often found yourself lounging around with him, watching movies or listening to old records. He was intent on learning every detail of your life from childhood to now, and he had no problem relaying the same to you. Within a week, Van was your best friend. He seemed to know everything about you and was teaching you everything about him. On the few days you had off, he'd take you sightseeing. Larry stopped glaring at you every chance he got. Friendship with Van McCann was easily built. He was open and funny and, as you suspected, way too cool for you. Still, from the second you declared friendship on him, he was a true ride or die.

As the tour started to die down, you realized that life was going to return to normal. You were starting to miss your new life, and it wasn't even over yet! It bummed your mood a bit, because holy shit, you were loving every second of tour now. Van had brought you out of your shell and easily became your best friend on the tour, you warmed up to nearly everyone else, and you were having the time of your life. You hated that you spend half of the tour being shy and afraid, because now, it seemed like time wasted on what could have been the best of your life. You never wanted any of this to change.

Van was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, eyes locked on some wildlife documentary. You wanted to pay attention to whatever the voice was saying about stingrays, or sharks? Whatever. But you couldn't. Your eyes were dead locked on Van. From the second you set your eyes on him, he seemed to cloud your thoughts more often than not. Even when he thought you hated him. Even when the idea of talking to him sent you into sweats. Now, when he was sitting straight in front of you, you just wanted to pause the world for a while.

“Van,” You pressed a hand to his shoulder to get his attention.

“What is it, Love?” Just like every time he called you Love, butterflies erupted in your stomach.

“I think you're my best friend.” Fuck. That was lame.

“I think you're mine, too, babe.” He smiled over his shoulder. Big and toothy.

“We can still be friends when the tour’s over, right?” You didn't mean to be so lame, but it had easily become your biggest fear. You wanted these moments with Van to last forever.

“Always.” Van took your hand and kissed the top of it. “You can't get rid of me that easily.”

“I wouldn't want to.” It was the truth. You never wanted to get rid of Van. He was one of your favorite people.

Within the remainder of the tour you'd made lifelong friends, especially Van, found yourself falling in love with your career all over again, and started finding a way to sneak out of your shell little by little. You had one day left- just one day of nothing but celebrations of a successful tour and friendship all around. Your heart was entirely full. You weren't quite sure where you were headed, or what would come next, but you had memories to hold onto and new friendships that you had no doubt would last a lifetime.

Standing outside of the bus, your suitcases on either side of you, Van was standing next to you. You'd be heading to some hotel for just one more night. With a smoke in his mouth, Van started to giggle.

“What?” The sun was in your eyes, so you were squinting up at Van.

“This is stupid,” Van shook his head. “But tomorrow, I’m supposed to let you leave! That’s dead fucked, Y/N!”

“What do you mean?” You laughed back, but you really weren't sure what Van meant at all.

“I proper love ya,” Van wasn't usually soft spoken, but his voice was much lighter than usual. “I don't want you to leave. I want you to come back with me, as crazy as that would be.”

“Van…” You choked out, shaking your head.

“It's fuckin’ selfish, I know it is. But for fuck’s sake, Y/N, I don't know what I’m gonna do without you.”

“Van, I- it's not selfish.” You weren't sure what else you could say. “I love you too, I think, and-”

Van didn't let you finish, instead, he wrapped an arm around you, leaned down, and kissed you. Hard. Then soft. It was the kind of kiss that up until that moment you were sure only happened in movies. It was the kind of kiss that sent lightning through your limbs and made your heart soar.

The cab pulled up, drawing you out of your daze. Van didn't speak, rather just threw the suitcases into the trunk and grabbed your hand. You weren't quite sure how everything would work with Van’s touring schedule and your school, but that didn't seem to matter. The boy that you'd once tried too hard to avoid laced his fingers in yours and didn't let go, and somehow, you doubted that he ever really would.

“We have a lot to figure out, you know.” You rested your head on Van’s shoulder.

“Easy,” Van kissed the top of your head. “It’ll be easy.”