#i want it to be like. something you can play with. toy block ass website

[pileofpawns]

spent a good 20 minutes yesterday daydreaming about what a hypothetical personal website for myself would look like

[trash-gobby]

R.J. MacReady - NSFW Alphabet

Summary: Basically just some MacReady NSFW alphabet stuff.

Pairing(s): R.J. MacReady X GN!Reader

Characters: R.J. MacReady, Reader

RATING: R

⚠️This is an 18+ post because of the NSFW!!! That means I DON’T encourage anyone who interacts with NSFW content who is underage. I’ve talked to other people who’ve been long time content creators and users of this website and I’ve come to the conclusion that I am not your parent and can’t control what content you consume.  Just consume responsibly, and know your limits. And If your a minor please DNI

Detailed warnings under the cut

Warning(s)!: Sexual content, toys, edge play mentioned.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

✨ MacReady likes to play off being pretty macho in his everyday interactions, but after sex he's actually really soft.

✨ He's gonna want to help with whatever cleanup is needed and then cuddle with you, enjoying your company or talk softly with you about future plans.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

✨ MacReady's favourite body part of his has to be his face, specifically his jawline. He loves the way you trail your fingers over the sharp prominent line of his jaw, admiring it. Kissing it gently.

✨ The body part he enjoys most of yours has to be your ass. He's a big ass man (no surprises here). He loves being able to admire it, especially when he's taking you from behind. If you'd let him he's also down to spank you until your skin turns red.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

✨ Likes coming inside you, but isn't against being able to come on your back or ass (as stated his is a big fan). Just loves being able to see how much you can make him come and likes to see that sometimes displayed on your body.

✨ Also can't resist the look on your face when is able to make you come. Especially when he's inside of you. Knowing that's hitting all the right spots to send you over the edge is enough to really bring him close to coming himself.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

✨ Actually would be super down for a threesome with another person (gender doesn't matter), but is a little shy to bring it up to you. Not really a dirty secret, but something he generally keeps to himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

✨ MacReady has been around the block more then once. He knows what he likes and is pretty comfortable sharing that with anyone he's going to sleep with.

✨ He won't push a partner to do things they might be uncomfortable with if they're less experienced, but does have more of a preference for people with experience.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

✨ Really big fan of cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. Likes watching you take control and lose yourself in pleasure. Also gives him a good view of your ass (lol).

✨ Also really into doggy style, a classic. Allowing him to take a bit of control and set the pace to both your liking is something which he loves.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

✨ MacReady isn't completely serious in the bedroom, but nor is he a complete goof.

✨ He will bring a bit of humor because it can sometimes make awkward experiences less awkward.

✨ Although he loves to be pretty passionate in the bedroom with someone he's close with, so that requires a lot more seriousness in his opinion.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

✨ MacReady is a very hairy dude, like very hairy. He does bathe and take care of his hygiene but doesn't really care about hair and won't judge another partner for having a lot of body hair themselves.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

✨ Can get really intimate if the mood is right, but usually reserves the really romantic intimacy to after having sex or before.

✨ If he's in the right mood he won't be opposed to holding you close or kissing you romantically while making love to you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

✨ When your not around or he's travelling for work he will masterbate. Usually he'll bring something that reminds him of you. This could be a lude picture of you.

✨ Generally though, if your around he'll be more likely to ask you to just have sex or initiate having sex instead.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

✨ Edge play is something which MacReady is a really big fan of. Likes it when he can keep you on the edge and then deny you your release.

✨ Also loves when you do the same for him until he loses control and really has to give it back to you

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

✨ Kinda vanilla about locations. Prefers it to be in the bedroom or in your shared home.

✨ Is actually pretty partial to counter sex. Nothing is more hot to him then bending you over the counter and taking you from behind.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

✨ Wearing revealing clothing, especially something which shows off thigh and legs can really get him going.

✨ Touching him intimately or running your fingers through his hair can also get him in the mood. Especially if you lean down and whisper what you want him to do to you in his ear.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

✨ Doesn't like the idea of being tied up or restrained in any way. That just takes to much of his ability to have self control away, which can make MacReady uncomfortable.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

✨ Really loves going down on you, and being able to keep you on the edge of orgasm for as long as possible.

✨ MacReady also loves being able to find out new ways he can use his mouth and tongue to unwind you completely.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

✨ Likes having a medium to faster pace, and can be a bit rough.

✨ If your really into moving slower he will do that, but his personal preference is a bit more aggressive.

✨ Sometimes can leave you with bruise marks in your skin from how hard he'll grip you, and will feel a bit guilty about it afterwards.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

✨ Really likes quickies when you don't have the time for a longer session.

✨ Is more partial to being able to have a full session and taking time to have sex even if his pace is more faster and rough.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

✨ He's moderately okay with taking risks and trying something new.

✨ Won't cross boundaries where he might be concerned that you could get hurt or him.

✨ As stated won't really do anything where it restricts his ability to move, but might be talked into handcuffs if your really convincing.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

✨ Can go for probably an 44 minutes to an hour. A bit on the longer side, but if you're getting tired he's pretty partial to making those sessions a little less long.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

✨ Is pretty open to using toys in the bedroom. Didn't really have any of his own until he met you, but is pretty intrigued.

✨ Likes using things which can stimulate you during sex. This can be something like different kinds of vibrators, anal toys like beads or plugs (if that's something you're comfortable with).

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

✨ Can be a veeery big tease. Likes being able to drive you a bit crazy in the bedroom when he's in control.

✨ Usually during foreplay is when he can be the biggest tease, but when it gets down to business he can be pretty fair if he's not going to edge you to hell and back

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

✨ MacReady can be pretty vocal with grunts and some moans.

✨ However, he really enjoys when you are vocal, and will become more vocal, sometimes with dirty talk the more he thinks he's pleasing you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

✨ Actually has some interest in anal if that's something you're comfortable with.

✨ Probably would be something he could get pretty into if your super down with it.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

✨ About average size for a man, about five and a half inches.

✨ Decently thick though and uncut.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

✨ Moderate sex drive, but can become more active depending on how much his partner is interested in having sex.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

✨ Depending on how long the session is, MacReady can pass out pretty quick, especially after helping with cleanup and lying there in your arms.

✨ Generally he prefers staying up for a bit and just being in your presence, talking or enjoying each others company until he falls asleep with you.

[imagining-supernatural]

What Happens in Vegas...

Part 1 of Seventy Percent 

Series Summary:  When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary: You wake up in Vegas with a brand new wedding ring on your finger next to Sebastian Stan

Word Count: 1641

A/N: I am super excited about this series! And it’s completely written (except maybe an epilogue), so I won’t leave you hanging when writer’s block hits. 

What was a Vegas weekend without waking with a major hangover and a random naked guy next to you?

Ideal. That’s what that would be.

Yet, here you were. Hungover as hell. With a naked guy next to you. In your hotel room. So you couldn’t even sneak out.

Not Ideal.

Aw well. This was your last Vegas weekend ever, so you might as well go out with a bang.

The form beside you groaned and shifted until you could see his face.

“Holy shit!” you exclaimed, prompting him to squint at you, slowly waking up. It didn’t take long for his blue eyes to open. Eyes you’d only seen on the big screen. “What the fuck are you doing in my room?”

“Who are you?” He shot back, voice still scratchy with slumber.

“This is my hotel room so I think my question should get answered first.” Sitting up, you pulled the sheet up to your chin. It was pretty obvious what had happened last night, but if he was even half as drunk as you had been, he wouldn’t remember. So… there was no need to flash your assets.

Sebastian Stan – yes, the Sebastian Stan – looked around for a moment before his thoughts were gathered enough. “I… don’t remember. I mean, I think I remember you from a club? But the rest of the night is blurry.”

“Yeah. I’m dealing with a lot of different kinds of headaches right now.” As soon as he left, you were going to dig out your medication and down a pill or two. You must have forgotten to take your pills last night.

His eyes widened when he looked at your hands holding the sheet up to cover your body. “You’re married? Fuck, how did I not notice that last night. I—shit.”

“Married? I’m sure as shit not—” Now it was your turn to ogle the giant ring on your left hand. “Wait a goddamn minute.”

The look of disbelief he was giving you sent your mind into hyper drive. “You’re saying that we…”

“Not necessarily. I mean, maybe it’s just a ring, you know? Maybe, shit I don’t know. Maybe it’s fake and we won it from one of those machines where you put a quarter in and twist the knob and you get a toy, you know?” By this point, you weren’t talking to Sebastian anymore. You were muttering to yourself, trying to calm the fuck down. And, for the record, when you tapped the diamond you knew it definitely wasn’t plastic. There was still the hope it was fake. Glass or something…

“And even if we did have a ceremony, that doesn’t mean it’s legal, right? Like, there have to be documents filed with the state and shit. I feel like I would have remembered that. But if we did file those, we’re in Vegas! The town that probably processes more annulments than any other city. It can’t be that hard. We’ll sign some papers at the courthouse and bam! No more marriage, no legal financial obligations when I die. I mean, this isn’t how I expected to end my weekend, but whatever, it’s an adventure. Something to tell my fri—”

“What do you mean, when you die?” he interrupted, latching onto the one part of your blabbing that you definitely hadn’t meant to say aloud. “You got plans to get in an accident or something?”

You could see the worry in his eyes and it took you a second to process what was beneath his question. “Oh, no. No, I’m not gonna kill myself. Don’t worry about that.”

“So what did you mean?”

How much to tell him? As a stranger, you didn’t owe him anything. But he was your husband, maybe. At the very least, you were both naked in the same bed. And anyway, what could it hurt? Telling him the truth wouldn’t change your prognosis and it might light a fire under his ass to figure out how to cut all ties with you.

“I’m not planning on killing myself, or anything. But my body seems to be doing a great job on its own. I have cancer, can’t afford treatment, and this weekend was my last weekend to cut loose before getting my affairs in order, you know?” Hopefully he would let that all slide. Not question further. “But that’s not your problem. We need to focus on figuring out if we really did get married, and if so how to—”

“Won’t your health insurance cover treatment?”

His well-intentioned question startled a bitter laugh from you. You relaxed back into the pillows, starting to say more than you needed to. “Yeah, sure. It already covered the chemo and radiation I went through. Those didn’t help enough. And I can’t afford to cut my hours back again at work. If I do, corporate will shunt me down to part time and take away my benefits. Ain’t that the American Dream?”

Shaking your head, you determined that it was time to get away from your sob story.

“Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I can, uh, get dressed and poke around a bit to figure out how to see if we really are married. It can’t be that hard. I mean, how many accidental, drunken, Vegas weddings do you think happen here? There’s probably a website somewhere called, like, help-i-woke-up-married-to-a-stranger.com or something.”

That stupid joke rewarded you with a half-smile on Sebastian’s face. “By the way, wife, what’s your name?”

“Y/N. And,” you shrugged, “I already know yours.”

“Yeah?”

“How could I not? You’re in the fucking Marvel Cult.”

“Cult?”

You grinned. “What else would you call it?”

After a soft chuckle, he leaned back against the headboard, sheets pooling around his waist and you tried extra hard to keep your eyes on his face. “Cult’s a good word actually. All the secrecy.”

“Y’all got so many devotees, man. Like, if all of you sent out a tweet that said something about taking over the world, it would be yours.”

“You one?” At your eyebrow raise, he clarified. “A devotee?”

“Ha, no. A fan, sure. I’m far too lazy to get in a cult. While y’all storm the capital, or something, I’d be at home watching YouTube videos of Kelly Clarkson singing while I’m eating chips and salsa.”

“Kelly Clarkson?”

At his question, you got defensive. “She’s a goddess.”

“Kelly Clarkson devotee?”

“I—” you stopped to consider that before tilting your head. “I suppose so. But only because she wouldn’t want to take over the world. She’d tweet something like Everyone come over to drink wine and chat and I’d be there in a heartbeat.”

He grinned and you found yourself wishing this was real. That this really was the morning after your wedding to a handsome man.

But that wasn’t your life.

“Never thought I’d marry a Kelly Clarkson Devotee.”

“Not to, uh, cut this marriage short, but I have to be on a flight tomorrow morning. So we should probably get on with figuring shit out today. Get that annulment if we’re actually married.”

A playful frown toyed with his lips. “You’re divorcing me because I made fun of you for being in the Clarkson Cult?”

“Yes,” you played along. “I’m sorry, Sebastian, but I just can’t stay with someone who doesn’t share my absolute love and adoration of KC. If I’d have known this last night, I would have definitely left you at the altar.”

Briefly, you caught sight of a shy smile before he turned his head away. “So, uh, you mind if I grab a shower?”

“Not at all. I’ll start researching,” you motioned to your laptop that was laying over on the desk.

After he nodded, he started looking around the room. It took you a minute to remember that you were both naked. Though it shocked you that he would be as shy about his nudity as you were, you didn’t point it out. Instead, you pointed to your travel blanket that was draped over a chair within his reach. With a grateful nod, he grabbed it and secured it around his waist as he stood.

As he walked over to the bathroom, you found yourself staring at a wrinkle in the sheets, letting your brain start shutting down just enough to process the whirlwind of the last few minutes.

“Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You glanced up.

“I, uh, I just… Look. With my job I just wanted to ask that you not share anything on, you know... Twitter or anything.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t. No one would believe me even if I did.” You offered him a reassuring smile. “I don’t really know what it’s like to be in the public eye, not like you are, anyway, but I’m sure it’s not all glitz and glam.”

With a nod of thanks, he disappeared into the bathroom.

That brought up a whole new side of worry. If you were married and did need to get the annulment, how would you keep it from getting out? You needed to make sure all of this stayed out of the press. You couldn’t let your reputation tarnish his. Not when you were going to die and leave him to deal with your bullshit.

As soon as the shower started, you darted across the room to quickly pull on some clothes. Once you were no longer naked, you dug out your medication and popped a pill, knowing you’d definitely need it to keep up your strength. Hopefully it would also work some sort of wonder on your hangover headache as well.

Once you swallowed your medicine, you grabbed your laptop, only to have a paper fall to the ground. You bent down to see what it was and stopped cold at the calligraphy written across the top:

MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE

PART 2: THE FIRST DATE

[jaunes-erotic-world]

(Gym au) Jaune and his former classmate Pyrrha were alone at the gym one day traning, Pyrrha ask Jaune for some help with a new squat technic and he his happy to help, (sweat sex, messy finish)

Pyrrha Nikos wasn't as innocent as she might've seemed to be, especially after her former classmate and still very much crush joined the gym she worked at. She hadn't seen him in a few years but she knew his beautiful eyes and charming smile anywhere, however something did change and that was his body. When she first met him he was scraggly but she later helped him at the gym where he started to gain muscle but in the short time they haven't seen each other he gained a lot more his arms were so large the could two of his original ones. It seemed she wasn't the only one to notice, as many patrons and other employees were flirting with him and even some going on with the deed in full.

Pyrrha walked into the shower room and when she did she heard moaning and grunts. She peaked around the corner to find Jaune was having sex with one of the yoga instructors. The girl had her leg lifted high into the air in some advanced yoga pose as the blond slammed his cock into the girl very hard and fast. Apparently Pyrrha had just shown up for the finale as the girl put her leg down as Jaune pulled out and shot cum all over her her back ass thighs and the shower floor.

"Thanks for the help with that pose Jaune I swear training with yoga is easier when you have a friend working with you," she kissed the side of his mouth before biting his lower lip and she sashayed off showing off her shapely hips and great butt. Jaune had turned on the shower to clean the floor.

Later when Pyrrha got back home she went to her room and grabbed her dildo which from what she saw was smaller than the blond and decided to relieve the stress of the day and the sexual itch from the sight in the shower room. She turned on her lap top and tried to lookup porn that would sate her current urges but all the porn involving gym's were male physical trainers and female patrons not the opposite. Soon however she stumbled across some interesting videos of girls masturbating. One in particular was a girl with her dildo attached to a small stool and then she was doing squats with the phallus going inside her with each squat. "Fuck that's hot" the redhead said to herself before she did the same thing. She was in paradise the feeling of the toy mixed with the stain on her legs she drooled imagining that her favorite toy was instead her favorite boy. After she came several times she laid down on her bed and before she went to sleep the words of her coworker came to her mind and she looked at her toy still primed for sexual squats, "A new training method, huh?"

The next day it was early in the morning and Pyrrha was setting some things up before everyone started to head in. The first person to show up was none other than Jaune, he was talking to the girls at the front desk as she walked over she heard the two discussing something that caused Jaune to frown.

"Sorry Jaune all the guys have booked appointments and Eve has off today," the girl at the front desk said.

"I understand it's fine," he replied, "Ill just work out by myself today."

It took Pyrrha a second to figure out the situation, Jaune wanted to work with a personal trainer but the ones that took male clients were booked up. The reason why it was only men that trained me was the same reason many of the patrons were female, there had been numerous cases of sexual harassment. So almost all all the female trainers including Pyrrha herself stopped taking male clients, the only ones that did were two faunus girls because the times people tried to molest them resulted in broken limbs as they felt no remorse. But this was Pyrrha's chance, "Ill work with him," the Redhead walked up to join the conversation proper.

"Huh Pyrrha I thought you stopped taking male clients after that asshole grabbed your ass and tried to touch your tits," the girl said. "Not to mention your new practice room is down stairs."

Due to her status as a fitness model Pyrrha was often requested by people who wanted the best and liked their privacy, "Don't worry it's fine I've known Jaune for years I was basically his physical trainer in college anyway we even shared a dorm for a month so I trust him."

"Alright well I'll mark you down as in session," later you two.

"I really appreciate this Pyr," Jaune said as they made their way down to her private area.

"Like I said it's no problem anything for a friend," she said "Ok let's see how much you've grown. Pyrrha took her time running her hands and fingers over his muscles make both of them blush. After that she sent him through some excercises that she joined in some of them too. Pyrrha bit her lip and when he wasn't looking she rubbed her legs together. She watched intently as his white shirt became transparent with sweat. "Ok that's a good stopping point"

"Ok sure," Jaune said.

"Hey Jaune since we are on break from your workout would you mind helping me try out a new exercise I'm working on," she asked.

"Sure no problem you helped me out so I'll repay the favor," he answered, "so what is it?"

Pyrrha turned on her cell phone's hotspot and connected her laptop to it, since the website she was pulling up was blocked. Pyrrha hit play and turned it around so Jaune could see. "I heard you've been working with some of the other staff and other gym goers with this kind of thing," she said voice cracking at one point.

Unlike sweatpants or similar the blond's gym shorts could not hide his erection. "I don't mind helping you with that," he replied. "So are 'ready' or do you need to get excited first?"

"I've been wet this whole time," Pyrrha admitted "Ever since last night when I saw you in the showers and I saw this video it's been almost all I can think about." Pyyrha made to take off her clothes when Jaune stopped her.

"Leave them on it's way more hot this way," Jaune said

"But how will..?"

He put a finger to her lips and said, "I got this." The two went over to the blue mat where Jaune sat down and whipped out his cock and took off his shirt the sweat rolling down his body to Pyrrha's pleasure Pyrrha went over to Jaune where he grabbed her pants by two places and pulled making a hole for him to access but he didn't stop there. Jaune showed Pyrrha how lewd and strong he was by doing the same to her panties. "See now we can start."

Pyrrha nodded getting into position it was easier than last night since Jaune was helping her aim and lower herself. Finally it entered and before she was halfway down she felt a strong electric bolt of pleasure that had it not bee for Jaune catching she would have slipped and hilted very painfully.

Eventually Pyrrha got into the rhythm of her usual squats albeit shakier and with her hips shaking more. Unlike cowgirl this wasn't fast and wild it was slow and controlled but had longer thrusts. Once again the redhead was drooling losing herself to the pleasure. It was becoming too much for her the exercise itself and the pleasure making her legs jelly, Jaune soon helped with the squats until soon both of them peaked Pyrrha cried out as she came her pussy trying to milk the blond but he managed to pull out. His cum shit out like a geyser spraying up the champs body hitting her face tits and stomach the rest falling down onto his lap and thighs.

The two laid their sweaty and one covered in jizz. "We'll take a breather and finish your real work out," Pyrrha said trying to pull her tongue back into her mouth. "We can try the other one again some other day"

"Sure," he said catching his breath

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 49.7-49.10

Every so often I manifest an incoherent plan to stop watching YouTube, borne out of some inchoate idea to do with productivity, but then I’ll watch a video so mundanely profound and inspiring that gives me more of a creative boost than any amount of time I would save by not watching 20-minute explainers on Game of Thrones lore. On this occasion that video was this, on the toolbox fallacy.

Simply, as the Passion of the Nerd puts it in his video, its the idea that one can’t do (x), until one has (y) - or, the lie one tells oneself in order to put off doing something, whatever that something may be. In my case, as is so often the case, the (y) is time. I haven’t written a blog for early two months, and in that period I told myself repeatedly that I was just waiting for that big long stretch of time where I could sit down and get everything done at once. 

But that never happens, and the longer you go without starting, the bigger the pile gets, so eventually it becomes impossible to get through everything at once without a parcel of time so monstrously huge it is terrifiyng in its own right. 

And thats where the fallacy comes in - you don’t need everything to be perfect in order to get started, and once you’ve started, you don’t need everything to go perfectly either. You just need to start. So lets get started.

Episode 7 - Jesus, Oxford vs Manchester

I live in Manchester now (aside: before I got my job here I applied for a PhD at ManUni with a guy called Dr Kiss, a sliding doors moment which could have resulted in my failing to qualify for a University Challenge team for a record eight times in a row, assuming it was a three year doctorate), which should make them my second team, but to be honest they’ve probably held that title for a while anyway. Like Michael Schumacher in his glory days, or Roger Federer in his prime, the University of Manchester produced consistent levels of supreme performance in the Challenge between 2005 and 2014 that gained them many fans, myself included. 

They reached nine out of ten semi finals in that time, and brought the fight to the Oxbridge duopoly with four series victories. Jesus haven’t had anywhere near as much success in the Paxman Era, but won the penultimate Bamber series against Imperial in 1986.

Manchester are mascotted by a bee, the buzzy symbol of the city; and Jesus are sponsored by a jumper? Thats what it looks like anyway, it might just be a bit of draping with the college logo on it. A lot of the Oxbridge teams do this, but there may as well be nothing there because its pretty half assed. 

Its the Jumpersquad who unravel the night’s first clue, with Cashman taking the ten points for the Cashmere Collective. Manchester equalised with the next Starter, and moved into the lead with a full set on the third. A delightful picture round on Premier League football team finishing positions followed, but Manchester could only manage one (I took the hat-trick, naturally). I always enjoy it when the setters put the sports questions into inventive UC formats.

The Mancunians would get into triple figures before Jesus could build on their opening points, but two Starters in a row got them out of the quagmire, and a third, the music round, brought them within thirty points again. However, they were helped out a little bit by Paxman allowing ‘They Must Be Giants’ in place of ‘They Might Be Giants’. I guess accuracy doesn’t matter as much when its merely pop culture.

This would prove the end of Oxford’s comeback though, as Manchester surged ahead with eighty five of the next hundred points to seal the victory with plenty of time to go. They must have known they had it in the bag as well, because at this point they sat back and let Jesus race for a high scoring loser spot, which they may well get.

Final Score: Jesus, Oxford 145 - 185 Manchester

Episode 8 - Durham vs Trinity, Cam

Durham reached the semi finals last series, the third time they have done so since they won their only title of the Paxman Era in 2000, having also claimed a Bamber Trophy in 1977. Trinity won under Jeremy’s stewardship in 1995 and 2014, along with a victory in 1974, making this a match-up between two of only three teams (the other being The Open University) to have won the Challenge in both of its iterations. 

Adding further weight to the not-so-mythical myth that Durham is a surrogate for Oxbridge, the Northern team have also got a jumper-y object as their mascot (at this point I have realised that there is a proper word for what those things are, but I’m in too deep with this jumper thing. Is it just a banner? A sigil?). I’m glad to see that Trinity have tried though, and are proudly displaying what looks to be a hand-knitted bear (possibly Sooty from Sooty and Sweep?).

Durham charged out of the blocks with four of the first five Starters and ten of their first twelve bonuses. Trinity would have to wake up soon if they didn’t want to get blown completely away. Fortunately they heard their alarm clock when it next went off and in the blink of an eye they were ahead. 

Wait, surely not... *checks notes* No, I was right first time round, following a 90-20 opening stint, Trinity went 80-0 to turn the game on its head. Now it was Durham’s turn to feel shell-shocked, but they took the next Starter and we were level again. A hundred each. The game was being played like rugby, with one team smashing forward until the momentum could be stopped, at which point the tide would flo the other way. Scintillating quizzing.

The turnovers started coming faster, with a frenetic back and forth developing. It was Trinity who finally managed to stamp their authority on proceedings, opening up a significant lead with only a few minutes remaining. Durham would need to work even quicker than in the early stages to add further topsy-turviness to this topsy-turvy match, but they couldn’t manage it. A brief spurt at the death may however be enough to drag them into the play-offs.

Final Score: Durham 145 - 200 Trinity, Cam

Episode 9 - LSE vs Courtauld Institute of Art

Like I said in the introduction, the longer you leave something before starting, the more difficult it is to start because of how much you’ll have to do once you start. Another issue with this blog in particular, is that the more you have to do at once, the more difficult it becomes to not just write the exact same things over and over again. If I do one per week then even if I do repeat myself word for word then I don’t realise because seven days if far too long to remember anything for, and ignorance is bliss etc. With a big batch like this one then it becomes painfully obvious how many times I use the word Starter, even if it is somewhat necessary.

Oh well, lets start with a recap of the two teams previous appearances... LSE made the final in 1996, losing a high-scoring match against local rivals Imperial. They made the semis two years later, and the quarters in 2009, meaning that they’ve been elimiated at every stage of the competition apart from the second round. For Courtauld, it would be a success to be knocked out at that stage, having lost their only two matches, in 2015 and 2018.

Courtauld took the first points of the evening with the amusing fact that the Nobel Peace Prize hasn’t been awarded on a number of occasions due to a lack of deserving recipients (could they do the same with the British Prime Minister?). LSE fumbled a science starter, leaving the board (in this case the circuit board which makes up the buzzers) wide open, but Courtauld can’t even guess, which amuses Paxman no end - “they don’t study a lot of that [at an art institute], do they?”.

They know Shakespeare though, and take the picture Starter on one of his ‘lost rhymes’. The match ambles on slowly, at a far more leisurely pace than last weeks (a good thing about this batching is that I can reference the previous games with the confidence that I’ll be understood), and its Courtauld who are ambling slightly faster than their London counterparts.

With a few minutes remaining, LSE decde to give it a go, with Engels cheekily waving Paxman on after another science Starter was left unanswered. I just spent about fifteen minutes trying to make a gif of this, but the websites kept crashing and the one I did make was only loading as a picture here. So if you can just imagine it that would be great.

Final Score: LSE 90 - 145 Courtauld

Episode 10 - Goldsmiths vs Southampton

Goldsmiths lost on their first Challenge appearance, and made it to the second round last year, the only other time they’ve made it to the televised rounds. If they continue their current trajectory they’ll make it to the quarter finals this time out, which is the furthest their first round opponents Southampton have made it in the Paxman Era, in 2014.

The Southampton mascot, a fluffy deer, has fallen off of the table between the middle players and has consequently gained some camoflague so you have to squint to figure out what it is. I don’t know if it was placed there on purpose, or if they simply didn’t notice that their mascot resembled that scene from Bambi. Goldsmiths have a teddy bear who is wearing graduation robes, indicating that they award degrees to cuddly toys - where will the liberal agenda take us next?

Paxman informs us that Goldsmith’s Sibley hails from the same Canadian town as human PA system Eric Monkman, and when he introduces himself you can detect a similar lilt to his accent, but without the sense that you’ve accidentally sat on the volume button. 

It is he who takes the first Starter of the evening, and indeed the second too - perhaps he does bear some more relation to his noisy neighbour. Goldsmiths took two more on the bounce to go 70 points clear. They were unlucky not to be further ahead, having guessed wrongly between both York and Leeds and Southampton and Portsmouth on the picture round (with no other clues its pretty hard to tell the difference between 20 miles on an unannotated map).

Maybe it was the mention of Southampton (and its misidentification) that woke the Southern side up, but they claimed their first points on the next Starter, along with two bonuses on the Lake District that I knew too, but only because I was literally in Windermere at the weekend.

Once they’d figured out that you need to buzz in and answer questions in order to win the game, Southampton were actually pretty good, and their confidence seemed to grow with every point they put on the board (in this case the circuit board which makes up the - hang on, I’ve already done this one, haven’t I? See, I told you this whole repeating malarkey was difficult), and they polish up two of three bonuses on haikus which describe chemical elements (I missed the explanation of the question format when I watched this the first time, so was astounded that they had even been discussing anything with any conviction. “Just doing your job holding plants together. No fireworks, no fuss”. I mean, what is that on about?)

In fact, just as Southampton remembered how to play, Goldsmiths forgot, and they only managed to shake themselves of this malaise twice more for the rest of the match, allowing Southampton to canter away, mostly unchallenged. 

Final Score: Goldsmiths 95 - 175 Southampton

Phew! That was a big one - well done if you made it all the way to the end. I still have two more to catch up on, but I haven’t even watched those episodes yet so I’ll just do them as regular posts, hopefully tomorrow. 

I’d also like to give a huge thanks to Tough Soles who are supporting me on Patreon! (sorry for falling so far behind - I’ll catch up soon)

[purplesurveys]

378

For a change. I love Internet people for never running out of survey ideas.

Just say what you think of (doesn't have to be one-word answers) when I mention these. Quick, simple, just for fun. Curtain: I remember a story JM told us of when he nearly burned his house down when he was younger - he was flying paper airplanes but not without lighting the tips on fire. One of the planes landed on the curtain and I think it burned that particular room pretty bad or something. Door: I have a door to my right at the moment. It’s brown and I know my dog is waiting outside because I can hear his paws. Shoe: We went shoe hunting yesterday for Joacky, because he wanted a pair of the Nike Cortez. It’s widely popular in the PH right now so even though we visited like 7 shoe stores yesterday, we weren’t able to find one in the color that he likes. Pants: I finally got a pair of mom jeans yesterday and I can’t wait to wear it for school. I’m tired of wearing the same bottoms. Wig: I attended a workshop a few months ago where the speaker disclosed that she has leukemia, and she took off the wig she had been wearing the whole time to show us her head. I also remember the RuPaul Stans part of Twitter because they say ‘wig’ all the time...

Makeup: Kate made me her subject last Thursday and she played with my face and put makeup on it. Ended up feeling really pretty because she did a pretty awesome job. Instagram: I snubbed Instagram for the longest time but thought that a ‘one-pic-for-every-day-of-the-year’ dump account wouldn’t hurt, so I made one of those for 2019. My photography skills are absolutely nowhere to be found, and my gallery is super haphazard, but I really want to make an effort to store memories this year. YouTube: Hmm first thing I thought of was PewDiePie. I subscribed to the dude when he had like 60,000 subscribers eight years ago and only had a couple of Amnesia montages up. I always feel like a proud momma/early bird whenever I remember how far and how big he’s gotten since. Life: Exhaustion, mainly. It’s gonna start snowballing by next year when I graduate. It’ll be nonstop from there - facing the prospect of coming out to my parents, graduating, getting a job, getting my first credit card, moving out, paying bills...it’s all very exhausting, exhilarating, exciting, and overwhelming to think about. Chili: Gabie and I had Japanese for early dinner last week, and I was a little weirded out by the restaurant because each seat had a red chili pepper on the placemat? I’m talking every damn seat in the place??? Idk if it’s some sort of good luck charm for the owners but it made things very slightly unsettling hahaha. Cherry: There was a WWE Diva named Cherry like ten years ago who had the gimmick of a 50′s chick, I think...I was never quite sure what her character was supposed to be, but she had roller-skates every time she went to the ring and would sometimes wear outfits with polka dots so I thought she was pretty cute.   Neil: Armstrong. Haha I was going through Reddit awhile ago when I saw a video of Buzz Aldrin punch a dude who went up to him and said that the moon landing was a hoax. Not exactly Neil Armstrong but still a good story. Drive: I like watching car chases. It’s almost...therapeutic when the suspect crashes or loses control of his car and finally gets caught. Murder: I never got into How To Get Away With Murder. It’s too fast-paced for my life. I feel like I’m the only person who doesn’t understand legal concepts because so many people are able to catch up with this show even if Viola Davis speaks a thousand words a minute and they’re all really deep words??? Idk HAHAHA. I watched like two episodes and felt super dumb after. Ice cream: OMG I hate a la mode desserts. I’d eat anything, but I wouldn’t eat two separate things with different textures. Get your ice cream away from my brownie. Water: I can’t wait to go back to the beach. Hard: Hammer? It was the first image to pop up in my head. Anne: Harry Styles’ mom is named Anne hahaha the Directioner in me jumped out, sorry not sorry. Cow: There’s this video that went viral a few months ago of a girl who was playing the accordion; all of a sudden this adorable herd of like 15 cows come running up to her and just intently watch the kid. Wholesome af. Frog: Frog legs are served in some Philippine provinces. Tastes like chicken. Cheese: My lactose intolerant ass will grate half a block of cheese (exaggeration, but you get the point) for my spaghetti. That’s the only way to enjoy pasta. Bowl: Can’t really think of anything except that bowl cuts look so cute on babies hahaha. Television: Is something I never use nowadays unless I’m staying over at a hotel. Other than that, I cannot tell you the last time I held a TV remote control to change the channel or something. Skull: There’s an episode of Friends where Phoebe brings home a skull and nonchalantly sets it on the table where Monica, Rachel, and Chandler were hanging out. Chandler goes, “Pheebs...skull?” Phoebe says, “Yeah, it’s my mom’s,” and Rachel shrieks until Phoebe clarifies that her mom owned the skull, and that the skull wasn’t of her mom. Underrated segment. Rachel’s mini-meltdown was hilarious. Seasons: I had to watch Rent for film class several months ago. Terrible movie. Cemented my dislike for musicals. This is what I remembered because afaik this is the musical that has the minutes song. Language: I can speak two and can understand some archaic/modern Spanish because they conquered us for 300 years and subsequently ruined my country. Trump: McDonald’s. An international embarrassment. Chocolate: We found this AMAZING Chocnut spread at the mall yesterday. I had my initial doubts - I thought it was gonna taste like a cheap Nutella rip-off. But it tastes exactly like Chocnut, just in the most perfect spread-y form. I plan to finish the entire jar just with a spoon. Stove: I’m terribly afraid of using any and every kitchen equipment because I have a big fear of setting the house on fire. I only ever use the stove when I’m deathly hungry and I have to make something by myself. Toy: My family recently went to a kid’s birthday party that had giveaway bags with toys inside, but seeing as we’re all teenagers now who had no use for it, it was earning dust in the house. Now, the Philippines is abound with street children so when we went out yesterday, my mom gave the bag to a couple of kids who were knocking on our car. I know I’m not supposed to romanticize the situation, but they had the biggest smiles when they realized what they got and I saw them playing merrily at the side of the street and even invited some other kids to join in. Again, not glamorizing it - I’m just happy they were happy. Video: I could never run out of things to watch on YouTube. It’s one of my favorite websites, especially when bouts of depression have to happen. Kiss: It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, IT WAS ONLY A KISS. Glass: The glass section of department stores always creeped me out. One wrong move and you can knock a whole shelf down, and the ‘You break it you pay for it’ signs all over the area don’t help at all. Light: Light and queen come together in this survey and all I remember is Lightning McQueen. Queen: ^ Moon: Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Moon river, wider than a mile, I’m crossing you in style some day.  Blue: My organization’s color is blue, so I have a soft spot for blue. Cream: I like soups that are creamy. I say this because my sister had ramen yesterday and it was so oily and salty and fatty and creamy and ugh I loved it. Dead: The Misfits. They’re more horror than death, but still. Purple: My great-grandma loved the color purple and I remember when her house used to be peppered in purple stuff. All her dresses were purple. I’m fairly sure it was the reason why it was my favorite color as a kid. Lace: Underwear, hahaha. Cardboard: Gabie was munching on sunflower seeds when I picked her up last week. I’ve never tried those, so I asked for some and I said it tasted like cardboard. I’ve never eaten cardboard but I would imagine that that’s what it tastes like. Elephant: Majestic. Deserves to be saved and properly cared for. Harry: One of my fave members of the royal family. He’s so precious. Leather: Is bad. Paisley: Isn’t there a country singer with this name? Italy: Pasta and stuff. Joey Tribbiani. Immature: I saw the gun girl Kaitlin-something on Twitter because she got viral again for a dumb-ass tweet she made. She posted pics of herself in the snow and tweeted “Look at all this global warming,” like seriously America??? Wtf do they teach y’all in your schools?????? Crime: Raisins in cookies. Angel: I had a friend named Angel - talked about her a lot in old surveys. She migrated to Canada when we were 12 and I haven’t seen her since. We do follow each other on Twitter but all she tweets about is K-pop so I had to put her on mute. Great memories with her. Boil: When I read this tweet aloud in my head, what I did think of was Charles Boyle from B99. Key: Key lime pie. Never tried it, but I’m always down to try anything. Sacrifice: The Catholic schoolgirl in me remembers the crucifixion because textbooks and teachers would overuse the phrase, “Jesus sacrificed his life for our sins” or “God sacrificed his son to save the world,” and all those cheesy lines. It’s as though the Bible’s favorite word is ‘sacrifice.’ Larry: Punk and AJ’s dog is named Larry Talbot. Dog: ^ Psychology: I took one psych elective last semester, but the prof was average at best so it didn’t really win over the course as a whole to me. Psychology was one of my ‘what-if’ courses so at the start, I was excited about taking it - but the class that I had was just so boring and the prof gave tests that were way too hard for otherwise fairly easy topics, so I quickly ran out of enthusiasm for the class. Rag: I hate touching rags. Especially wet ones UGH. Sun: Hate it, unless I’m at the beach. Lips: My friends dragged me to the makeup section of the department store last week and there were rows upon rows of lipstick testers. As someone who’s never purposely browsed for makeup, I ended up swatching like 20 shades on my wrist and looked like a five year old who doodled all over her whole left arm. Cage: The UFC ring, because it looks like a cage. Alarm: I had/have several alarms set on my phone throughout today to tell me to start working on various deliverables. For example, I had an 8 AM alarm to work on my J 196 paper; then from 8:30 AM I had an alarm to compose letters that I needed to write as my org’s secretary; then at around 10 AM, my alarm was for finishing up my readings for Kas 154 (short for kasaysayan, which means history). Official: I have a batchmate from high school who just got engaged...she was honestly one of the weirder ones back then so as much as I didn’t want to judge, it was hard to take it seriously at first, but it’s whatevs. I have no business in her life and I’m happy she’s happy. King: I finished my history readings this morning and there were so many mentions of kings. Lost: That show. The general consensus is that they ended the show crappily, but other than that I know nothing about it. Dating: There was once a dude who joined a dating show. Ended up being a serial killer. I forgot his name though. Balm: I was at a Korean store yesterday and saw an array of lip balms and glosses. I was never much of a makeup girl but the collection they had was just so cute, it made me think if I should start investing in makeup as well hah. Tomato: Ketchup is my second least favorite condiment after mustard. Game: Hmmm I downloaded a bunch of new game apps on my phone because I recently realized that I’m so boring??? and I only have social media on my phone??? I got ten new apps to make my phone more alive haha. Lotion: Is slimy, but smells nice and makes my skin smooth and look better. I got two hand creams for Christmas last year and it was then that I knew I was getting older because I was genuinely excited to try them both out. Expensive: Everything is. Powder: Reminds me of babies. The smell calms me down so well. Cross: I was shopping for clip-on earrings yesterday and there were several designs with crosses on them, which just reminded me of Christianity and it kinda peeved me for like 3 minutes lol. History: My favorite subject. I’ve never been so excited to be dumped on with such a thick stack of readings until this semester. Sex: Haven’t had it in a bit, too busy. Rainbow: We watched a film called Rainbow’s Sunset, which was really promising because it told a story about two men, both very old, and are lovers. In a traditional, conservative, poisonously Catholic country such as the PH, it’s a very bold move to produce a feature film that tackled such a horrible, taboo, horrifying thing (please note the sarcasm/mockery). We didn’t escape the guffaws and the loud ew’s whenever the two leads would kiss, which was sad. 

Anyway that’s not my point and what I really want to say is that the film was ultimately terrible, it was terribly-executed and it portrayed gay men in such a cheesy manner which in the long run, probably contributes to the continuing negative image of LGBT people in the Philippines. Gab, the bigger film buff between the two of us, felt so offended by how bad the movie turned out to be lol. Bay: Bayley, from WWE. She was a huge star like 3 years ago, but I think the bookers ultimately fucked her character up and now she’s stale. I feel so bad. Seth: Seth Rollins, also from WWE. Also very attractive. Pepper: I had okonomiyaki for lunch yesterday and there was like a thicker chunk of pepper that made it to my plate. Didn’t particularly enjoy that bite. Necrophile: Katie Vick. Google it to believe it. Wrestling is fucking dumb. Gravel: Funnily enough I do have a memory for gravel. Akeelah and the Bee was one of my favorite movies growing up; I watched it so many times that I had chunks of dialogue memorized at one point. One of the first scenes had Akeelah joining her school’s spelling bee, and one of the kids spelled grovel as g-r-a-v-e-l. He couldn’t understand why he got it wrong so the judge had to tell him that the word ‘grovel’ actually exists and what it means. Deep: I had a mental picture of the ocean when I read this word, so there’s that. Stephen: Hawking. Bucket: Chum Bucket. Hahaha Spongebob forever. England: Rugby? Grown: I always use the term ‘grown-ass’ haha. Spell: Spelling was one of my favorite activities in grade school and I would always score the highest in spelling exams. Kind of led me to my favorite job of proofreading/copyediting, really. Bark: My dog barked at nothing for five whole minutes a couple of days ago and it was hilarious. I shot two minutes of it. Long: Trees? Fan: Pamaypay, or hand fans in English.

Australia: First things that came to mind were the Sydney Opera House and Vegemite. Iron: Gabie’s nose bled last week. It wouldn’t stop flowing out of her nostrils and it smelled like rust for a good 15 minutes while she was trying to wash all the blood off, so it didn’t exactly help my case as someone who’s squeamish to death at the sight of blood. Melt: Chocolate. Beanie: Too warm for this country’s climate. Wax: Candles. Vigils. Burning your finger. Staying up all night to pray. Catholic school. Disease: Zombies. Resident Evil. Cannibal: The band Cannibal Corpse. Tried to get into them because Punk listened to them but it was too heavy for me. Flight: Airplanes, flights, vacations, away from everyone, nothing to worry about, good food, fighting with my siblings for the window seats. Porn: People be having weird fetishes sometimes. The thumbnails I see on websites...some of y’all crazy. Pot: I thought about how college life is so crazy. People would sell brownies or cookies with weed in them IN SCHOOL, meanwhile I still don’t even know if weed and pot are the same or if they’re two different things ohmygod HAHAHAHA I’m so sheltered wow I’m hopeless?????? Style: Taylor Swift and that subtle shade to Harry. People were shookened five years ago. Floss: Pork floss is really good. Star: There was a local celebrity who recently tweeted a pic, supposedly of a tiny tiny star that was beside the moon at like 5 AM, and she was asking what it was. Someone replied that it was Venus and explained what she just saw for her. Super cool. Nate: I don’t know anyone named Nate. I DID, however, remember the Naked Brothers Band. The older brother is named Nat, so it’s close enough. Soft: Pillows are soft. Orange: Hayley Williams’ hair 11 years ago. Witch: Philippine superstitions and how crazy and obsessive Filipinos can get. My mom, one of the most rational, no-nonsense people I know, scolds me every time I mock witchcraft or what we call ‘kulam’ cos she believes something will happen to me if I do. I’m all for honoring our mythology and traditions but sheesh, not to the obsessive extent. Mound: Ants. Root: Gabie used to watch this show where she shipped two girls named Root and Shaw. Oil: Massages. Hot: Deserts. Disc: Childhood, blowing on it to make it work, double-sided discs for longer movies, if a disc had scratches expect it to die soon. Soil: Plants. Planting trees. Muddy. Ugly: That scene in Spongebo where Patrick tells the story of the ugly barnacle. “Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end,” which didn’t help Spongebob who at the time was feeling super ugly hahahahaha. Sugar: Maroon 5. Also, my grandma used one particular jar for sugar throughout my entire childhood. It’s plastic, it’s clear, and it came with a red-orange lid. I’d often eat sugar on its own so I saw that jar quite a bit and it gives me a sense of nostalgia. I’m not so sure if that’s still the jar being used in the old house. Bone: Ribs :( Been craving for some. Sigh: Air??? I don’t know. Throne: Game of Thrones. I had to watch a 26-minute documentary of a GoT production for my broadcast management class. It’s insanely hard. So much respect to everyone involved in its prod. Calendar: I’m secretary for my org, which means that I always have to update everyone about our calendar of events. Carpet: Fancy. Flesh: The Walking Dead. Cement: Dangerous. Vow: The movie with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum. One of my guiltier pleasures. Sweet: Desserts. And now I’m hungry.

[finsterhund]

The boredom gets to me.

Lake trip got cancelled, then postponed to today, except ex roommate didn't want to go to the safe lake and me and my friend only wanted to go to the safe lake so we didn't end up going at all but that was okay because Will and Paula did a Paper Beast stream and it was fun.

Other than that things have been extremely boring and I've been getting sick from the heatwave.

It's too hot to play Paper Beast because of the headset, it's too hot to play Minecraft because ice pack laptop gets hot way quicker now.

It really becomes apparent that without spending money there's not much to do during the quarrentine. I've drawn a bit, I keep trying to write but never get anywhere, and mostly I'm just feeling lonely and wishing I had a dog. I have to be careful not to think too much about that late at night otherwise I'll miss my bedtime and then cry myself to sleep at 4AM. I joke about how I am explicitly forbidden from listening to "Tiny's Song" after 7PM, because that's a surefire way to make it worse.

I have another psychiatrist phone call in a couple weeks and I'm hoping to talk about trauma and misery loops, or whatever it's called when your brain keeps dwelling on loss.

Computer quest seems to be going well, but of course I've put as much money as I can into it for this month. Frustrated that I can't do anything more until I get paid again.

Got to go to the thrift store a few days ago. Impulsively got Lady because she was 5 dollars and we all know she's a spaniel so obviously I was weak of will, soft of heart, dumb of ass. You know the drill. This boy does not simply see a cosmically significant stuffed dog just sitting there and not do something about it.

I also picked up a seemingly brand-new collar with several tags attached. I collect used and discarded dog tags (I will go into this in more detail in another post) and I intend to start bringing as many back as I can whenever I get to go to thrift stores.

I'm frustrated that I keep making plans that I'll only be able to follow through on once all this is over. My computer is the only big thing in the works that isn't held back by the virus.

I wish the other one in town would open again. Stupid virus.

I keep phoning my mom to talk to her puppy. I was going to visit to see the puppy and also bring my childhood toys back home and also develop the Spot negatives. But no. Ruined. Stupid virus says "Andy likes Spot, and his old toys, and puppies. Let's make sure he doesn't get to see them" stupid virus.

I have a TON of important things planned where traveling or going to high risk stores/places that are definitely closed is required.

The last Spot I ordered online before I put my foot down and said "no more buying comfort items online until you get your new computer" seems to almost be arriving. Should around the same time I have my phone appointment. I'm also waiting on the lost DHL puppy (still, it's been so long) and another that I think also is lost, and a rare copy of Heart of Darkness that's taken forever to ship and is presumably in Alaska now (why I don't know)

I intend to spoil that Spot to an extreme amount to make up for the eBay stuffed dog drought that will presumably go on for three months. Although the fact that I do no longer have to hold onto all the money to use at once and have now switched over to giving it in installments to my friend who's doing my custom build does mean I have a better understanding on how much money I have available each month. It's their responsibility to count and keep track of the big unintelligible numbers now. I'm free!

Although I do still intend to keep the paper with all the "100"s written on it in use. Using a visual aid to help with my dyscalcula has actually felt super good. Wish teachers would have been more open to helping me do this during school.

I do wish I had more inspiration to draw and write. Not getting too much interaction with what I'm doing online so it doesn't feel like a way to socialize and I'm actually desperate for more socialization during this time.

The quest for an extremely large floppy stuffed dog that looks like Spot has been postponed due to the computer quest. Similarly I am barred from buying anything else from Awwful Adopts, Lil Sprout Care, and Blvucci. Will showed me a browser extension that blocks certain website access from your browser. I use it to bar me from aimlessly searching stuffed dogs on eBay for four hours.

Hold me to this promise. No Awwful Adopts, No LilSproutCare, and no Blvucci. If I brag about getting the Blvucci glow in the dark hoodie and it wasn't because I won a free one, you are all encouraged to spam mean names into my message inbox and hit me with things.

I have materials to make custom sized collars and bandannas for my stuffed dogs but I just don't feel up to learning to sew. I know how to do 1. A ladder stitch and 2. Several types of knots. So all I can technically do is fix small holes in stuffed animals.

It's technically my bedtime but I don't feel able to sleep right now so I'm just writing this update.

My friend made art of Spot for me and it is very nice so I'll share it tomorrow.

Keeping my mind active talking about my day and my plans stops me from thinking about sad things, but it also prevents me from sleeping. I just wish that there was something to look forward to tomorrow. It's gonna be another hot do nothing stay home day.

Maybe soon we will get to go to the lake.

Anyways, I'll try updating you all more. Maybe post more memes and things that have mostly been going on over at twitter dot com. I keep forgetting to post things here because of how broken Tumblr is on desktop now.

[seijousucks]

a victuri fic rec: part two! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ♡ 

part one (x)

my favorites will be bolded!

if its tagged nsfw it just mean its pwp

one shots

-  never tasted rubies by ebenroot / words: 16613

Phichit puts up a poll on the radio website. It reads ‘What Do U Think About Yuuri K. from Hasetsu Nights and the Mysterious Caller Victor?’

Seventy-five percent of listeners said ‘lol they should just f*ck already tbh’.

--

in which Yuuri is an unwilling radio host and Victor won't stop calling in to chat with him

-  Dance For You by Grassepi / words: 3425

Viktor Nikiforov is going to learn to pole-dance if it's the last thing he does.

-   while you're here in my arms by lazulisong / words: 4434

Victor slinks in the kitchen, looking shifty as hell and holding a plastic sack of snacks from the combini a block away.

Yuri hates that he finds it more charming than weird, but he's still reaching out and making grabby hands toward it.

He also hates that he's managed to avoid Victor seeing him in raccoon-and-desserts print PJ bottoms and a shirt with a trophy that says WORLD'S BEST TRASH (thanks, Phichit) on it for seven months, but failed now, three months before Victor is set to leave. It's like skating a perfect program and then falling on your ass five seconds before the end. He’s managed to dress himself like an adult human all this time but now Victor is being treated to the Full Katsuki Yuri In Heat experience and staring at him like he can’t believe his eyes. .

"I got you purple sports drink," says Victor, eyes slightly crazy, and Yuri hates even more that he's into a person that likes purple sports drink.

-  BREAKING NEWS: Local Man Would Like To Date Other Local Man by counterheist / words: 1164

Viktor is an anchor for Channel 9 Action News and Yuuri does the weather. Probably Viktor draws hearts on the playback monitor. Most likely someone gets kissed in the rain.

-  Trembling Hands, Smooth Jazz, and You by SuggestiveScribe / words: 10785

Yuuri swallowed past the tightness in his throat, “Am I the one being interviewed now?”

“I just want to know more about you,” Viktor responded. “You write so much on your blog and within media, but none of those words are ever about yourself.”

Music filled the momentary silence. “There’s not much to say,” Yuuri eventually answered.

“There’s always something to say.”

- nsfw:  Need by sub_textual / words: 8226

What stands before Viktor now isn’t at all the Yuuri that had stripped off his clothes in front of a hundred people. This is Yuuri, beautiful and blushing, shy in all the ways Viktor knows he isn’t, too embarrassed to express what he really wants. This is Yuuri, abandoning the clasp of Viktor’s pants, to slowly undo Viktor’s tie. This is Yuuri, desperate and needy, ripe and ready for the taking, and he’s all Viktor’s.

-  solidify the echoes by ADreamingSongbird / words: 5597

Viktor opens his eyes—blue, so blue—and looks directly into Yuuri’s. “Yuuri,” he says, quiet but almost terrifyingly intense. “Yuuri, I think… I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.”

(Or, Yuuri wants to know if that kiss on the rink meant anything, and Viktor really hopes it did.)

-   with you, it's what i need by reciprocity / words: 5276

Yuuri moves to Russia. It takes some adjusting.

Or, five times Yuuri and Viktor get caught in the act, and one time they somehow don't.

-  Calm After the Storm by garbage_dono / words: 10288

Yuuri and Victor, newly bonded, prepare to become new parents.

-  a day for all the rest by Etharei / words: 6266

Phichit clears his throat. "You, ah, might want to wear your scarf again." He taps meaningfully at his own collarbone.

Victor touches the indicated spot on his neck. The skin is markedly sensitive. He presses down, unable to help himself, and the sweet little ache summons a sense-memory: strong fingers carding through his hair, then digging into his shoulder, powerful thighs like a vice around his hips, his name gasped into his ear before a hot mouth seals over the skin of his neck.

The day after the Cup of China.

-  These Frozen Nights by viciously / words: 6451 

Yuuri gets along okay with most of the ghosts in Saint Petersburg.

-  magpies by winchilsea / words: 2251

Viktor can be brave for Yuuri, he can be so many things, he can be anything, and all Yuuri wants him to be is himself, what does that even mean.

(It rains during Tanabata.)

-  pause/play by cordialcount / words: 2226

The mechanical noises blanket the room in a truer quiet than silence. "Yes," he breathes into it, more feeling than sound.

(Yuuri, holding them together.)

-  A Simple Pivot by RC_McLachlan / words: 472

It should feel like failure, and yet. (A coda to episode 9)

-  with a love this deep by lazulisong / words: 2904

There's two types of dates Victor and Yuri go on in St. Petersburg. Yuri likes them both.

-   Altschmerz by Liana_Legaspi / words: 15123

Altschmerz

n. weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had—the same boring flaws and anxieties you’ve been gnawing on for years, which leaves them soggy and tasteless and inert, with nothing interesting left to think about, nothing left to do but spit them out and wander off to the backyard, ready to dig up some fresher pain you might have buried long ago.

(Yuuri has trouble adjusting to St. Petersburg.)

-  And Baby Makes Three by nevermetawolf / words: 3045

This was not how he wanted to do things. There were supposed to be flowers, champagne, and something other than Chinese takeout. Something mature and adult that said, hey, I’d possibly maybe be an okay(ish) co-parent, see?

- nsfw: With The Engine Inside by RC_McLachlan / words: 2050

Victor brought this on himself.

-  The Cashmere Train by RC_McLachlan / words: 2615

Yuuri shouldn't even buy it, but he has to touch it only once to know that he's not leaving the store without it. He stands in front of the display for way longer than he probably should, rubbing it against his cheek and imagining what the deep burgundy will look like against Victor’s pale skin.

When he brings it up to check out, the saleslady pastes on a smile and tries very hard to make it seem like molesting sweaters is completely normal and that she definitely hadn’t been reaching for the panic button.

-  185/120 by RC_McLachlan / words: 1111

Yakov isn't paid enough for this shit.

-  Stay Close to Me by dasedandconfuzed / words: 11373

At the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri misses the podium by fractions of a point. Embroiled in a skating controversy, he tells himself he'll prove his worth in the World Championships, but there's a long time in between.

Or: Vicchan lives.

-  Five Times Viktor Got Jealous (and the one time Yuuri noticed) by braveten / words: 10846

Before now, Viktor hadn’t realized that he was the jealous type. What an interesting revelation.

-  Written in History by Ashida / words: 1625

Victor knows just how great Yuuri really is, he knows just how much Yuuri has given to get to this point, and in front of everyone after Yuri's last performance; Victor asks for one last thing.

-  Everlasting End by Ashida / words: 3224

There was nothing about Katsuki Yuuri that was fair, Victor had long since decided. He might have just decided that the first time they truly interacted, that night at the Grand Prix Final banquet, full of fleeting intentions that were over in the blink of an eye, this familiarity Yuuri had with him that made it seem like Victor had known him forever. And that was impossible, because everyone Victor had ever known were nothing but memories on the wind, and Yuuri would be all too soon as well.

-  I love you, no expense spared by myoue / words: 5680

Victor is used to paying for dates, accidentally spilling things on people, and spoiling Katsuki Yuri like no tomorrow.

-  the clavicle-snapped wish byastoryaboutwar / words: 6533

The sun glints off their twin gold bands, the band strikes up their first dance, and together, they follow each other into the rest of their lives.

(Or: the wedding fic fix we all need.)

- i have my body (and you have yours) byastoryaboutwar  / words: 8147

Yuuri overflows with the weight of things that have been said, trembles with what remains.

Their shared zeroes flicker in time, the early morning light muting the red glow to faint numbers. In the amber dawn, an idol is only just a man.

(Or: the Soulmate Timers AU where things happen out of order, secrets are kept, revelations are had, and they arrive where they need to be in the end.)

-  better than sliced bread by ebenroot / words: 8161

“What,” he breathes, “is that?”

Victor – his darling coach and fiancé Victor, love of his life and dream come true Victor – smiles at him and squeezes the dakimakura tight to his chest, while Makkachin chooses to make the large cardboard box his new chew toy.

“It’s you!” Victor chirps.

--

in which we all assumed yuuri is the one to own a dakimakura but maybe that isn't entirely the case

-  turn it, leave it, stop, format it by ebenroot / words: 19688

“If you want, I can recommend you some security programs that you can download for free and protect your computer. That way, you won’t be at risk of losing these cute photos of your dog even when you browse websites like ‘Luscious Lonely Wives’.”

Victor gives one long ‘haa’. “I don’t browse those websites,” he says through his straining smile.

--

the 'i will break any and all electronic devices that get into my hands if it means I get to talk to the cute tech support guy' fic

-  Russian for Dummies by cutthroatpixie / words: 2489

"Are you a beginner?"

Viktor was not a beginner. Viktor was the TA supposedly in charge of this study session. Viktor spoke Russian. Viktor was Russian.

"Sure!"

-  Polyglot Variations by spoken / words: 8528

‘If first languages are reservoirs of emotion, second languages can be rivers undammed, freeing their speakers to ride different currents’ - Lauren Collins, Love in Translation, New Yorker (2016)

The languages Viktor speaks, and what he finds as he's learning them.

-  we laugh, we fumble, we take it day by day by waitingforreason / words: 3066

When it comes to taking their son on the ice for the first time, Yuuri is worried, Victor is patient, and everyone else is helplessly intrusive.

-  Where Your Eyes Fall by MilkTeaMiku / words: 2300

Yurio let out a small, vulnerable noise, and lifted his eyes. “Not everyone looks up to Victor.” ‘

- nsfw: Submission by SuggestiveScribe / words: 8118

Viktor leaned forward, breath whispering just behind the shell of Yuuri’s ear, “If my Yuuri wanted me to submit, I would be elated to experience submission.”

-  brave enough to love you by kevystel, xyai / words: 5070

Yuuri settles into his new life in St. Petersburg.

-   lovesick by Ironinkpen / words: 2729

“Did the doctor send you?” When Yuuri doesn’t reply fast enough, since he's still gaping like a fish, he turns to Yuri. “Did the doctor send him? Because wow,” He drops his arm and presses his hand to his chest like the dramatic bastard he is. “You’ve got to be the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh my god,” Yuri groans. “Is he hitting on you?”

(In which Yuuri worries, Viktor's on the good drugs, and Yuri puts up with a whole bunch of bullshit.)’

-  time may change me by emilyenrose / words: 2156

Yuuri and Victor met by chance as children.

-  you're like heaven to touch by lazulisong / words: 3179

"Is this because I let you watch American movies as a child," says Yakov flatly. "The ones where the popular boy gives his coat to the pretty girl?"

Victor puts up both eyebrows in a delicately mocking gesture that was unbearable when he was a fey creature of sixteen and makes Yakov yearn to clip him around the ears now, when he's twenty-eight. "'Let' me?" he says.

-  specks of silver in the evening sky bywinchilsea / words: 3909

Loneliness compels you to get a dog, not wipe drool from the corner of a stranger’s mouth with your own thumb.

(Or: Viktor's kink is taking care of Yuuri.)

-  Heartbeat by emilyenrose / words: 3148

Victor starts sleeping in Yuri's bed well before the Cup of China.

- nsfw: pillowtalking by seabear / words: 2492

“We’re not leaving bed today,” Victor says, throwing a leg over Yuri’s waist and pulling the covers up over. “I decided.”

-  in death, at the end of the world by perennials / words: 8030

"Beautiful, you say?"

“Your hair. It's the color of the moon.”

-

From this life, to the next, to the next, he'll chase you for as long as it takes.

-  Just for You, a Symphony from My Soulby Caeseria / words: 12968

Sometimes, it’s the smaller moments – those out of the public eye – that are the most important.

-  Of Glass and Gold by smudgesofink / words: 4436

“Just hear me out,” Yuuri presses. He can feel heat burning behind his eyes and he grits his teeth, fighting back the tears. If he cries now, Victor will be too occupied with comforting him to actually pay attention to what he’s saying. “I want you to be happy.”

“I am,” Victor grounds out, confused and hurt. “I’m happy with you. What even gave you the idea that I’m not?"

“Because I’m never going to win gold!” Yuuri shouts. His words echo like a gunshot, and the silence that follows it is haunting.

(In which Victor is gold--magnificent, breathtaking, brilliant--and Yuuri is glass--transparent, thin, breakable.)

-  Nights So Slow by jibrailis / words: 3755

“Well,” Viktor says helplessly, because it’s all ruined now, “I was going to try and seduce you.”

-  it's not gay if it's on the moon by lunarorbits / words: 1765

Friend: new challenge, write something coherent out of a meme. Prompt: if there were two guys on the moon and one killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what? Me: challenge accepted PSA this is not crack it is hardcore space fluff.

-  At Home by SuggestiveScribe / words: 9346

“You excited to start our vacation?”

I always feel like I’m on vacation when I’m with you.

-  for all the ones who hurt the most by perennials / words: 3021

Viktor's birthday approaches, Viktor drifts away, and Yuuri does his best not to let him go. Home means so much more when it's four letters traced into the palm of your hand.

- nsfw: Each Sip Like Starlight by cloverfield / words: 13753

“Come quickly, I am drinking the stars!” ― Dom Perignon

There are two beds here – both identical, made up neat with hotel linen and pillows piled high. They’re only going to need one.

- nsfw: and over our heads the gray light unwinding by radialarch / words: 2152

It turns out, Yuuri and Victor have been having two different conversations.

-  this is how he loves you by perennials / words: 938

He says thank you for everything, Viktor, but it sounds like I’m leaving now.

He says thank you for being my coach but really, really, it sounds like good-bye.

-  it's you I want to go on seeing by 100demons, aubreyli / words: 2112

Victor’s eyes meet Yuri’s in the reflection for a brief moment, heavy-lidded and brimming with covetous heat. And then, slowly and deliberately, he draws his gaze down the length of Yuri’s body.

-  Adoration (noun) by crossroadswrite / words: 2049

Viktor is no stranger to being adored.

He’s used to gasps of awe, to blushing faces and shaking hands offering him pieces of paper to sign and phones to take pictures with; he’s used to proclamations of love accompanied by sweets, works of art to his image, and thoughtful gifts, all of it like offerings in a temple.

He’s used to it, and even though he revels in the attention and validation of all the work he’s put into his career, he’s bored.

- nsfw: Distraction by SuggestiveScribe / words: 7968

"Yuuri, let's not think about that," Viktor said, holding out his hands. Yuuri set his other skate aside. "You should take your mind off it; maybe seek a distraction--"

"Okay."

"--Anything to disengage from the nega--" Viktor stopped, blinking. "Wait, what?"

Yuuri rose back to his feet, moving to stand in front of Viktor. Emotion burned at the edge of his irises, and in the limited light his stare flashed more crimson than brown, "I said, 'okay'.”

-  the history books are made for us by d10smessi / words: 6600

Victor thinks, I'll never love someone this way again.

or: Victor Nikiforov, on loving Katsuki Yuuri.

-  here on the roof of the world by jibrailis / words: 2097

Figure skaters are such crybabies.

-  the warmest part of winter by dadvans / words: 8047

The wedding is in early February, right after Yuri comes home to Yuuri and Victor’s crumbling farmhouse in upstate New York from the European Championships with a gold medal around his neck. They’ve been in the process of restoring the dilapidated barn out back and turning it into a fully functional dance studio, and the fire marshall has finally approved it for occupation without fear of the whole thing coming down all at once and crushing a half dozen elite figure skaters to death at any given moment. Which is perfect, considering they’ve been planning on holding the reception in the barn, and finding a last minute venue would be a goddamn nightmare, especially since Victor has obsessively planned the entire event down to the last detail for the past six months.

-  sight of the sun by cityboys / words: 6418

Wherein their honeymoon brings Victor face-to-face with a lot of firsts in his life.

-  love at second sight by ninjee / words: 1834

He looks at Victor as if he somehow believes Victor would have come all the way here if he wasn’t desperately, stupidly in love with a drunk almost-stranger.

(a study of victor's love for yuuri, post episode 10.)

-  a kingdom, or this by perennials / words: 1091

The problem is, Yuuri sees Viktor’s face light up at every performance except his own.

The problem is, Yuuri takes off his glasses when he skates.

The problem is, Yuuri doesn't see.

-  change from grey to color by pageleaf / words: 1661

Viktor's had his eye on Japan's ace for a while.

-  It's Almost Like He's Done This Beforeby iamalivenow / words: 1637

Yuuri lands on his head in Sochi.

It's not that bad, though.

Not when he gets a second chance.

-  i think i may have loved you first by perennials / words: 1313

Here are the facts:

Yuuri is drunk. Viktor is not.

Yuuri is riding an alcohol-induced high so far up above the clouds he cannot even begin to comprehend the weight of his actions back in the human realm.

Viktor is falling in love.

-  When the Sun Rises by utsu / words: 4019

He focused single-mindedly on Yuuri and on promises; and Yuuri, well.

Yuuri taught him how to master both.

By mastering him.

-  hungry, but i'll hunger on by incode / words: 6119

Yuuri has been learning to reach out for what he wants.

-  things we're all too young to know by incode / words: 1789

Victor miscalculates a date.

- nsfw: i think i was blind before i met you by incode / words: 4917

Victor has a thing for every new bit of Yuuri he sees.

-   your love is my turning page by cityboys / words: 4755

Victor and the hours he spends waiting, reflecting and figuring things out.

Set parallel to Episode 9.

-  home is when I'm alone with you by lazulisong / words: 1691

because Phichit is a better bro than Yuri deserves, he reminds Victor that a) Yuri has a birthday and b) Yuri hates flash mobs

Victor is still 70% sure he's gonna screw it up.

-  Ex's and Oh's by Aurum / words: 1042

It turns out that Yuuri is not quite as inexperienced in love as Victor was led to believe. 

-   Hot in Here by Aurum / words: 2687

"Yuuuuuri," Victor drawls, leaning his head on Yuuri's shoulder. "It's hot," he complains. He's already down to his t-shirt.

Yuuri huffs a little, reluctantly amused. "Maybe you would feel cooler if you didn't drape yourself all over me."

-  the magic of your sighs by kevystel / words: 2925

Makkachin’s asleep by the time Viktor reaches the clinic. Viktor sits down on the sofa beside him, buries his face in Makkachin’s fur and breathes.

-  Breathe With Me by novellanouveau / words: 1327

Viktor soothes Yuuri through a sleepless night.

-  nsfw: Watch. by SuggestiveScribe / words: 7869

"You have pretty legs, Yuuri."

‘

- nsfw:  Love On Top by garbage_dono / words: 5319

Yuuri is used to holding back, but Victor is determined to change that.

-  we'll call this place our home by perennials / words: 2216

The Big Day approaches, and Viktor seeks advice from various members of the Katsuki family.

-  to stand on your own two feet by perennials / words: 1048

“You're strong. You've grown stronger. You've always been strong.”

No, I'm weak, Yuuri thinks.

“You're so much stronger than you think you are.”

-  Addicted (to the taste of you) by smudgesofink / words: 5832

It’s mortifying. Of course it’s mortifying.

But even with his hands restless by his sides and his stomach buzzing with butterflies and adrenaline and nerves, Yuuri finds that he oddly doesn’t mind the attention. Or rather, Yuuri can’t bring himself to care, for once. He’s exhausted to the bone from his performance, eyes slow and limbs heavy from running on little to no sleep for more than 24 hours now, not to mention kind of emotionally drained from his mental breakdown earlier.

If anything, Yuuri kind of wants Victor to kiss him again. Preferably right now.

At once.

Immediately.

(It’s turning into a problem.)

-  Worthwhile by surveycorpsjean / words: 6276

In which, it's Viktor that breaks.

-  Delete Clipart by Oort / words: 1607

Viktor Nikiforov wore clip-on ties. Yuuri had somehow failed to notice this.

-  (will wait for the morning to come) by contagionangel / 8130

"It's no use, he speaks the language of the ice!" chortles one of the women as she pats a sobbing girl on the back. He'd tried to be smooth and deft in his rejection and had fumbled it with all the impact of bones rattling against the ice in practice. Maybe more. She hit surprisingly hard for how twiggy and delicate she looks. While experimenting with new moves, he plays out a man touched by innocent affections that he cannot accept, who admires the strength of the one he is turning away. She nails all of her jumps in the next practice, smiles with neither malice nor blushing when he gives her pointers on her form.

Yakov's eyes are dark when he watches it. "You weren't feeling it at all." he murmurs. "That won't fool a crowd."

Victor just nods in response. It's true.

-  like heaven to touch by kevystel / words: 3161

He looks younger than half the other skaters, with his fine features and the porcelain clearness of his skin, but here he is — here in Moscow with Viktor at his side, ready to impress a crowd that’s too used to roaring Viktor’s name. Viktor is prouder than he’s ever been.

-  i know my madness by astoryaboutwar / words:14133

It's hardly a secret that Victor Nikiforov is a massive player.

(In which Yuuri doesn't blow the Grand Prix Finals the first time round, does blow Victor, and everything changes but ends up the same.)

-  turnabout is fair play by foreverautumn / words: 1582

Victor’s eyes widen. Five seconds pass; long, agonizing moments, and still Victor’s staring like Yuuri had just smacked him across the face.

-  Now When Arrows Don't Penetrate, Cupid Grabs the Pistol by ken_ichijouji (dommific) / words: 10673

Phichit Chulanont doesn't know how he ended up the skating world's wingman, but he ain't mad at it.

-  falling as we grow by Judchen / words: 5953

Yuuri's mother leans towards the candles, and shortly before she blows them out she squeezes his hand and says “I want you to always be happy, confident and loved.”

In which Yuuri grows up and gets by with a little help from his friends.

multi-chapter: complete 

-  No Less Unthinkable by rageprufrock / chapters: 3 / words: 10224

In which Katsuki Yuuri fights a losing battle with chronic anxiety, the quadruple Salchow, and his own judgment four drinks in — but wins the war.

-  Yuuri!!! on Floor by thehandsingsweapon / chapters: 6 / words: 67392

katsuki-don do you know how amazing you are?

v-nikiforov do you?

katsuki-don do I what?

v-nikiforov know how amazing you are

The gymnastics edition, in which Viktor is still a skater because he's too pretty on ice and I couldn't take it away from him. A story about how sometimes love comes slow and soft, and how hearts get bigger when they break.

-  begin to be half of what you think of me by kevystel / chapters: 2 / words: 10935

In which Yuuri's self-image finally starts aligning with reality. 

-  never stop until the grave by Naraht / chapters: 3 / words: 12714

Back in St Petersburg, Victor attempts to combine coaching Yuuri with preparing for his own return to competition. The spirit is willing but the flesh may be weak.

-  Dear Mama by Ferrero13 / chapters: 17 / words: 27277

In which Victor writes letters to his mother, who is fifty percent of his rationality and self-control.

-  lie to make me like you by cityboys / chapters: 9 / words: 80075

It’s become a game, of sorts, to anyone privy to the fact that the pattern exists in the first place: ask Victor out at the beginning of the month, date for however many days, and wait for the end to come and for Victor to say, always: I couldn’t fall in love with you. Let’s break up. Or, Victor is a retired actor looking for love, and Yuuri happens to be the (un)fortunate soul to unwittingly ask him out at the beginning of the month. Except relationships don't come with a script, and it's much harder understanding love than roles.

-  stay awake with me awhile by kevystel / chapters: 2 / words: 8374

The problem, should Viktor care to take the time to think about it, is that he’s no longer competing to win. He’s defending his title. It is a very different experience. It burns a hole in his palm, sometimes, on the mornings he lets himself sleep in.

-  the road that stretches out ahead by hellodeer / chapters: 4 / words: 7350

"What if we drove to France?" Viktor asks, and Yuuri says yes. Of course he does.

multi-chapter: incomplete

- dear true love by cityboys / chapters: 2/? / words: 18258

Victor is a writer pretending to be on a break; Yuuri is a pianist pretending to not be on a break.

They meet, somehow, in the backwaters of Saga Prefecture, Japan.

-   Call Everything on the Ice... by shysweetthing / chapters: 6/7 / words: 43790

Victor learns Japanese while in Hasetsu. He doesn't tell Yuuri, and things get dicey when he overhears Yuuri and Mari talking about him in Japanese. Repeatedly.

(The subtitle of this fic should be: Victor Nikiforov really needs a hug. Luckily, he gets one. Eventually.)

- series:  勝つ丼姫 by lazulisong / works: 3/? / words: 2011

     1.   baby it's so sweet / words: 769

Yuri knew exactly what was going to happen when Katsudon announced his retirement, but he was too late to kill Victor.

     2.  baby baby baby / words: 628

Victor and the katsudon breeding turns out as badly as Yuri expects it to.

     3.   if it's quite all right i love you baby / words: 614

it suddenly dawns on Yuri that the katsudon and Victor breeding means that Victor will be in charge of a child.

-  somewhere i have never travelled by d10smessi / chapters: 1/? / words: 4959

Victor is a specter, a killer, a myth, a machine trying to be a man.

(Victor falls in love with Yuuri—beautiful and out-of-nowhere, like the impractical black of his Aston Martin amidst the sea of tourists and locals in the streets of Barcelona. Yuuri falls in love with Victor like the slow bloom of a flower in spring in the middle of bustling Tokyo, tended and taken care of.)

-  i seek another place by heygorgeous / chapters: 2/? / words: 5225

Somewhere along the line he stops providing excuses, and the world stops asking him.

So now, Viktor thinks - thumb carelessly rubbing against Yuuri's scalp, now what?

[viktor suffers from bipolar disorder]

-  centripetal force by braveten / chapters: 7/? / words: 60928

Victor speaks seven languages.

(Physics isn't one of them.)

Luckily, though, he ends up rooming with his antithesis: a shy, black-haired boy who just so happens to be a physics major.

-  Masquerade by Ashida / chapters: 7/? / words: 46206

“Just say the word.” came the whisper as Victor stepped close, behind them Yuuri was aware of guns out and at the ready, of confused men and questioned loyalties, here Victor was offering, and Yuuri was too selfish to say no.

“Ok.” Yuuri smiled as this game of masquerade came to an end, what would happen now, he didn’t know, he would probably die, his family would come after him and try to put a knife in his back or a bullet between his eyes, none of it mattered, because together they would fight, and the rest of the world would finally burn.

-  Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya / chapters: 13/14 / words: 166931

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.

Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.

-  Catching Butterflies by skeletalparade (boythighs) / chapters: 1/? / words: 10387

It was a straight shot from here to the city, and sometimes Yuuri liked to imagine that he could bike the whole way in. Just start pedaling and never stop, no turning back. He could get a job in the city and pretend like his time on the island had never existed.

He wouldn’t do any of that, of course, not really, but it was a nice thought to entertain when things got hard. Some days it was the only thing that kept him afloat.

- series: babysitting au  by perennials  / works: 1/? / words: 2094

     1.  Yuri Plisetsky, five year-old killer of men / words: 2094

“Um, hi. I'm the new babysitter,” says the new babysitter.

“Hi, I'm the old babysitter." Viktor smiles brightly.

-

In which walls are vandalized, lipstick becomes a weapon of mass destruction, and Viktor flaunts his beauty in an attempt to woo the new boy while trying not to burn the house down. Also, there is a cat and his name is Power Ranger #4.

-   i see quiet nights poured over ice by ohhotlamb / chapters: 11/? / words: 25879

He’s a despicable man, but what he offers is the truth. I’ll make you a winner, he says. And he knows—

This is one thing that Yuuri can’t refuse.

-  Down the rivers of windfall light by cyan96 / chapters: 3/? / words: 11940

“A human,” Yuri observes slowly. Because it is. A human. Dark haired, with fog-dusted glasses and a truly unfortunate number of layers to ward off the autumn chill. He smells vaguely of sea salt: crisp and sharp, the mark of a water mage. Nothing extremely special, otherwise. The closest Yuri explanation can come up with for having been dragged all this way is Viktor deciding to add “Magical humans” to his list of hoard-viable objects. Which, although stupid and a perfect example of Viktor’s terrible life decisions, is still sadly within the realm of his ridiculousness.

The noise Viktor makes is—high and floaty, somewhere between a purr and a chirp, deeply pleased, and sounding entirely out of place on a currently house-sized dragon, even one as elegant as Viktor. For a moment Yuri simply stares, the vibrations of it tingling on his spine. And then his brain makes the leapfrog from point A: Viktor’s obscenely cheerful mood to point B: what is that smile what are those dopey eyes Viktor what the fuck—

What the actual fuck.

“Vitya, that’s a human,” Yuri hisses, whirling, as the whole and appalling picture snaps into place.

[nofomoartworld]

A CGI Master Made a New Artwork Every Day for 10 Years. Here Are The Results

I'm relatively comfortable with commitment. I've been in a relationship for several years, I still have my email account from high school, etc. But when I realized that Mike Winkelmann, the prolific CGI artist and animator behind some of our favorite Flying Lotus and Brainfeeder videos, was approaching a decade with his everydays series, it blew my mind.

For 10 years he's been posting a new digital illustration ranging from the abstract to representative, sci-fi to surreal, somber to sarcastic. Meanwhile, I barely have a consistent relationship with breakfast, much less making something creative. Today the Appleton, Wisconsin-based artist publishes his 3,650th iteration of the series, which has gone interrupted through sickness and health, music videos and advertising work, and two children.

Here is Beeple 3,650th everydays picture

These days it's a common Instagram or Tumblr challenge to make a new artwork every day for a year or so. In nearly every case, the improvement from the first piece to the 3,650th is palpable. Beeple started his everydays series under the self-deprecating moniker Beeple Crap before it was the meme it is now. After the first year, he just kept going, and still hasn't stopped in 2017.

The overriding rule behind Beeple's video work is diegetic sound: every sound in the track is also visible on the screen. He's also made hundreds of open source VJ loops that inspire unique sets around the world. It's an awesome, if time-consuming process, which has amazing results when combined with the technically brilliant musicians he normally works with. The limitations on his everydays, however, are more abstract, revolving around available software, mental states, and above all else, time.

Nevertheless, he insists it's well-within the reach of any artist: "Just start an everyday," he tells Creators. "It's become more popular on Instagram, but there are always more people who would benefit from doing it. Any time you're putting in the work, it pays off. And if you're worried about commitment, I miss breakfast all the time."

We spoke to Beeple about making art while shitting your pants and becoming a father (not at the same time):

Creators: Did you ever think you would make it to 10 years of everydays?

Beeple: No. I was focused on trying to get better at drawing. I wasn't thinking about an end date. After the momentum of the 2nd year, I realized I could keep doing this for a while. Once you get the momentum, that's what carries you forward.

Some days, you don't have that much ambition. It's like, "I'm fucking tired, I don't want to keep going." The momentum really helps you. You think, "Am I really going to ruin my streak for this?"

How long do you spend on each entry?

From five minutes, if that's all the time I have—like the day my first daughter was born—to a couple of hours.

How did your wife feel about you were making art while that was happening?

My wife was in labor, which isn't as dramatic as they make it seem in the movies. You're not racing, you're just driving to the hospital. So I just said, "I need to do this real quick before we go." There's no way I would have been able to make it this far without the support of my family.

The artwork Beeple made the day his now three-year-old daughter was born.

What still challenges you about everydays after so long?

Challenging myself comes naturally. People are going to see it, so I don't want to make crap.

But "crap" is right there in the name.

Even though it's in the name, I still get tired of doing something similar to what I've done in the past. I push forward to find different styles, different tools. I embrace the tools that are available and appreciate and have fun with new plugins. It's like having a new toy to play with.

How do you know when you're done?

Mostly it's time. I have to go to bed or something. A lot of times there's a sense of defeat. I'm out of time and this was the best I could do?

Do you ever worry about repeating yourself?

I don't focus too much on premeditating things. Even if it might be similar to something I've done before, I just focus on that piece that day. It's too hard to focus on how a piece is within the context of the whole project.

Do any of the pieces from the past 10 years stand out in your memory?

There are certain pieces where I tried a new technique or idea, but mostly my growth is incremental. It doesn't come in huge breakthroughs. There are small discoveries like, "That's what that button does," or, "That's a nice color," rather than giant breakthroughs. But when you get thousands of those, you can see real growth.

Do you have any other rituals? Church? Gym? Tan? Laundry?

I don't, but I wish I did! everydays is the only thing I'm this devoted to, and there are plenty of other things I have trouble committing to. I'm not a unilaterally driven or focused type of person.

Momentum is so important. With most habits, something weird can happen and you lose the momentum. After a certain amount of time, the habit becomes more important than the distractions. "I'm not going to miss today, just because [insert distraction here] happened."

To me the gym is harder. I'm not sure you can do it every day. The thing that makes everydays possible is that it doesn't depend on any outside factors. That's why it's tough to compare to athletic things to aesthetic.

Have you really never skipped a day? No vacation, no hangover, creative block, plain laziness?

I really haven't. I define a day as by midnight, and there are definitely days where I go really down to the wire. Last night I cut it pretty close. The thing is, you don't always have an hour, but you always have five minutes, and you can make something creative in five minutes.

There are numerous times throughout the past 10 years when I've had food poisoning or something, and I'm puking and shitting my ass off. I come over to my computer huddled in blankets, put down some stupid crap I didn't give a shit about, then I post it and I'm done. It only takes a couple of minutes. Those are days when you're completely carried by the momentum of the project.

The other thing is there are certain days you know are going to be weird. Plan in advance. If you going to go out drinking, do your everyday first. You're not going to do it afterward. If you're traveling, wake up early and do the picture, then go through your day.

Do you think you'll ever stop? You did it for 10 years, why not take tomorrow off?

I think it's going to run it's course. I'm surprised I haven't forgotten a day. I feel like I'm still so far from where I want to be. I look at artists in a variety of mediums and think, "Why would I stop now?" Part of it is not looking at it too far down the line, and focusing on short term goals.

Who inspires you when you're working on these?

Lately the Ghost in the Shell VFX work, and GMUNK just did a piece for Lexus that was super awesome. There are so many people doing amazing work in a variety of fields. There's no shortage for me of people to look up to.

Who is your dream collaboration?

Aphex Twin would be awesome. He was extremely influential back when I started everydays. He was one of the first people making songs on his computer by himself in his basement. It was like, "Holy shit. He didn't need a team of people, or permission, or on someone else's schedule!" That was very influential on my work.

What's next for you?

Lately I've been doing some concepting for AR as well as concert visuals, album art. And I'll probably be doing that for a while.

Keep following Beeple on his website or Instagram.

Related:

Beeple's Glowing Virtual Tunnels Give Viewers A 'Warm Neon Birth'

CGI Mastermind Beeple Takes on China—U.S. Cyber Warfare

7 Years and 2,555 Drawings Later, Beeple Looks Back on his 'everydays' Project

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[thriftchicago]

REVIEW: Salvation Army (Montrose & Spaulding)

Lordly doings, festive couches, and an evening of broke-ass entertainment

★ ★ ★

This “family store” on the border of Albany Park and Avondale is less than a total package. However, when it comes to office clothes, furniture, and location, it’s is a major contender that serves certain demographics of the neighborhood well. 

Ahead: Thrift-based date ideas, deals & sales, and tutti-frutti armchairs -->

MAJOR STRENGTHS:

This Salvation Army features a moderately pleasant selection of officewear & blazers and a pretty good jeans selection if you’re a mall rat from 2009/The Gap is your dream brand. The dress section is practical and pretty dope. The furniture section is where the store really glows.

A clean, cool, and well-priced selection of couches, cushions, drawers, and shelving units awaits you

Another major strength is that this location is just a block away from local legend Marie’s Golden Cue, pictured here with the Salvation Army sign in the distance:

This sign is half a block from a funeral home, no joke!

Under their new ownership, Marie’s isn’t BYOB anymore (significantly subtracting from its previous “bring 2 Modelo tallboys and make a night of it” appeal), but an afternoon of thrifting plus some grungy-ass pool could be the broke-ass date idea of the century. The only con: this store is kind of boring.

Arguably a major strength of the Salvation Army in general is that the dough from your purchase is going to a charity rather than a straight-up profit-based business, like Unique and Village Discount Outlet. The regular pre-recorded messages played over the intercom in which they invite shoppers to “have a greatly blessed day” (even after telling you about their weekly 69¢ sale, I kid you not) it is clear that as an organization, they are pretty focused on preachin’ and teachin’.  By shopping at Salvation Army, you are probably helping finance drug recovery and food bank programs for whatever very specific demographics the Salvation Army thinks are worthy of their Lordly doings. A quick google search for “salvation army gay stuff” will fill you in on the hot charitable controversy regarding this. You can decide as a private citizen whether or not you care or if you just want to buy a Lane Bryant blazer on the cheap.

MAJOR WEAKNESSES:

Weaker areas include some lame menswear, a meager selection of kids’ clothes considering it’s a “family store”, and housewares, which is full of boring plate sets that are too expensive.

As I’ll discuss later, pricing and being boring are also areas where the Salvation Army struggles.

CLEANLINESS:

It’s fine. There are no changing rooms, and only one awkwardly placed mirror. It smells thrifty, but no section is remarkably dirty, and since there isn’t much of a toy section to speak of, baby germs aren’t a problem.

The store is poorly organized. Jeans and pants are hung with their waistbands in, so you can’t tell what size they are without pulling them out (my pet peeve), and aside from some rough organization by color in solid-coloured shirts, sweaters, etc., there’s no visible organization by size or colour anywhere else. This wouldn’t bother me in a more interesting store, but it really adds to the unique tedium of this particular location.

QUALITY:

This Salvation Army features some reliably decent yet boring merchandise. Items I took close looks at included some Banana Republic shirts, pretty recent H&M sweaters and pants, and just buckets of Ann Taylor. Work clothes for office people!

Furniture was the only thing that really had me feeling frisky. There were some truly thrilling couch and armchair bargains on display.

I can own this sturdy, well-kempt, tutti-frutti armchair for just $23? Sign me up.

PRICING:

Items at the Salvation Army cost between $3 for a mediocre shirt or skirt, and $25 for other, equally mediocre items. I don’t understand their pricing system at all. There are definitely better bargains to be had, citywide - with the possible exception of furniture, which ranged in price from $15 to $150. 

I don’t understand

WILDCARD FACTOR:

This store truly falls short when it comes to fun. I didn’t find anything cool or unexpected except for an orange couch, and the sections where I’d typically look for nostalgic gems - housewares, books & VHSes/DVDs, board games, sweaters - were practically non-existent. I think this store does a decent job serving the community and providing practical clothes for a very narrow type of professional, but it doesn’t have much of a personality.

SALES & SPECIAL BARGAINS:

Items are colour-coded by tag and one or two different tags are on sale at half price every week. Overhead announcements implied that if something was too expensive, I should wait however many weeks until it was on sale, then come back, which is a stupid idea, unless they turn over merchandise at a snail’s pace. Keen shoppers will note that Sunday/Monday are the ideal days to shop sale tags at the Salvation Army while the shelves are still flush with good stuff. I went on Friday, like a rube.

Every Saturday, one of the half-price tags becomes 69¢ for the day (why not make it an even 70¢? Honestly). The section will probably be pretty picked over by that point, but it might be worth a visit.

 I am given to believe that holiday sales happen.

MY BEST FINDS:

The only item I genuinely considered buying here was this Black Uniqlo three-season down jacket in a womens’ size S. It was priced at $19.99. There was a sticky something on one of the sleeves, a small tear necessitating patching on the right sleeve, and some slight wearing at the cuffs.

... Which, using various promotions on the Uniqlo website right now, I could get patch-and-stickiness free for probably $40 if I wait a couple weeks and winter’s not fashionable anymore, or if I cruise for coupons and go buy it live at the Uniqlo downtown.

I mean, I get that I’m ridiculous and this is like a third of the original price, but, you know, principles. Besides, I have a pretty serviceable down jacket and won’t need another one for another couple winters.

So that’s the Salvation Army: solid, but no better or more interesting than other neighborhood options in walking distance, like the Kedzie Village Discount. I’d pick this shop over Kedzie VDO only if I was shopping for furniture. Overall, you only have to look to nearby Family Tree Resale for a an example of a “family”-oriented, charitably-motivated shop that’s way more fun to patronize.