#i wanna ramble abt them so bad but i have no idea where to start kjahsdjha

[heliosynchronisity]

I never thought the sweetest sin could be my saving grace I never thought I'd love again the queen of red light lane I never thought one tiny spark could set my world ablaze But lovers say there's hell to pay when fire feeds a flame -Chariot; Burn the Ballroom

[spinjitsuburst]

ramble about ur favs i wanna hear abt ur thoughts -zaptrap

HAN’S INFODUMPING ABOUT JAY... START!!!!

so like sgdkdhdkdhd I say Jay and Lloyd are my “favorites” but honestly it’s so hard to pick favorites out of this skittles squad like I love EVERY character for a variety of different reasons. I was going to also infodump about Lloyd but then I started talking about Prime Empire and then this post got. Long. So. it's just Jay I may infodump about Lloyd another day especially since I'm very Conduit Brained Rn but yea yea!

this is long so i'm putting most of it under the cut so y'all don't kill me for making a huge long post

I considered putting Zane and Sora on here as well since I’d also consider them my “favs” but like this is already gonna be. A lot of. Infodumping (also i typed THIS part before I even started and decided not to yell about Lloyd because this already got long enough). Maybe I’ll make a separate post for those two hmm hmm much to consider but for now MY (technically) FAVORITE NINJAGO CHARACTER: JAY WALKER

THE SPARKPLUG WHO INVADED MY BRAIN LIKE A PARASITE

so hey his name is a pun this makes me laugh ridiculously hard every time I remember he is named. After a misdemeanor HSKSHDKFH

Jay is such an interesting case of a character for me because I started out the show not liking him. Which is. Stares at my entire account I think my feelings have changed somewhat

Jay starts out as an asshole I don’t think anyone can disagree with me there (although honestly they’re all assholes in early ninjago they bullied a ten year old and left him dangling several feet off the ground) but over the course of the show you can see him start developing into a much more interesting character. He goes from being so insecure he's faking everything about himself to someone who knows who he is and is so genuine about it

now yea we could argue about whether his character was too uwu-ified post-season 10 but this is the FUN HAN POST SO WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT the point is you can SEE the growth that Jay has gone through and I am going to show you that growth through what I call

✨ The Skybound to Prime Empire Effect ✨

I AM SO PASSIONATE ABOUT THE IDEA THAT PRIME EMPIRE WAS WRITTEN TO BE A DIRECT PARALLEL OF SKYBOUND AND WAS CENTERED ON SHOWING HOW THE NINJA ESPECIALLY JAY HAVE GROWN THROUGHOUT THE SEASON

when season 12 rolls around we are at the point in Jay's development where he is CONFIDENT in who he is. He's a fun-loving jokester with the power of lightning and the drive to help people whenever he can. He uses jokes and humor to help alleviate tension and get people through whatever's happening. And when on his own what does he do?

BECOME AN ENTERTAINER BABEY

i like to think jay's club in prime empire was a safe haven for anyone stuck in the game who figured out hey. we Can't Leave and felt freaked about it. Also Jay would generally try and spread the word that hey something ISN'T RIGHT HERE which would lead people to want to stay with him

(totally plugging my friend's fic but this kind of thing is explored in would you like to enter prime empire by @finn-m-corvex y'all should check it out cool cool)

also the prime empire shorts which i watched all of in the midst of typing this video cuz i love them go watch them please please please jay was publically fighting the red visors which I imagine may have raised some red flags for some players

THIS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO PRIME EMPIRE INFODUMPING LMAO ANYWAYS Jay's confident! He becomes an entertainer because it's who he knows he is! And it's something that will get people hyped and having fun, which is very in-character for Jay to do! He uses those kinds of things to mask the Bad Things going on and get people remembering what's good

I've talked about this sort of thing before but that's Jay's whole philosophy as early as season 9! Which is a DIRECT contrast to how he views it in season 6, as Nadakhan puts it scarily accurately

"You make jokes to mask the fact that you're afraid"

(i was gonna grab a screenshot for that like i did with the hunted scene but netflix has bloCKED THE ABILITY TO TAKE SCREENSHOTS THE WAY I USED TO and i don't have them already and i'm too lazy to grab them from elsewhere so alas trust me he says it)

making jokes to hide your fear and using humor to remind yourself of what's good and coping with the bad are two VERY different outlooks on it

so I think this outlook is what drives him to make this glamrock persona in the first place - this is a bad situation, one he's in with other civilians, and what better way to keep him and themself safe until the others get there than throwing a big performance at a safe place!

also it's just so gender okay I want to look like Superstar Rockin' Jay so badly

it's also interesting to see his outlook on his parents change over time! In season six he finds out Ed and Edna aren't his birth parents and feels upset about it, not understanding why his birth parents would've abandoned him. In season twelve, that outlook changing is EXACTLY why Jay's able to get through to Unagami

"I was abandoned by my parents, too!... I never understood why, and I never had the chance to even ask. But I always hoped there was a good reason. What if there's a reason?"

(again curse you netflix i wanted SCREENSHOTS whatever whatever)

It's this scene that gets Unagami to calm down long enough for Milton Dyer to get there, and presumably is what stops him from just. Flattening him and Jay like a pancake.

to piggyback off of this i absolutely adore how Unagami and Jay consider each other adopted brothers in that one book I still haven't read and I hope he's in Dragons Rising at some point Unagami is my favorite "villain" (no longer a villain) in the whole show he deserves more screentime

like this is where i found out about this and it's plagued my mind ever since. i need to read. this book just for them

SO YEA OKAY Prime Empire is "Who is Jay as a Person Post-Skybound" to me also it opens up so many fascinating things about Jay. I rest my case

so backpedaling a little bit. JAY CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS PARENTS GUYS IT'S SO SOFT AND I'M sobs

like yea the first episode with Ed and Edna in it has Jay avoiding them like the plague but this gets explained very easily when you remember he was bullied for his home life before he became a ninja. It makes a lot more sense why he wouldn't want them around his new friends, assuming they'd react the same way. Also how was he supposed to know literally all the rest of the groups parents were either dead, presumed dead, or had a toxic relationship with their kid lmao

(Cole calling his mom kills me. Cole's mom is dead. I know they probably just didn't think that far ahead when writing the dialogue but it's so funny mans pretended to call his dead mom to get on Jay for not appreciating his parents iconic behavior)

anyways literally every episode Ed and Edna are central to (except like the one in skybound) Jay stops at nothing to protect his parents and it means the absolute world to me he's so much like them!! They raised an inventive little nerd and he will stop at nothing to make sure they're safe and it's. It's SO IMPORTANT TO ME OKAY

ALSO this is an excuse to clip my favorite piece of dialogue possibly in the entire show. Except Netflix won't let me now. So you just get the text dialogue

Jay's just fallen from the sky with a messed up eye and is incredibly distraught that all his friends are captured. And his dad just. The woRLD IS FALLING APART AND HE'S EATIN' SOUP-

Ed i love you

anyways

anways anyways this just turned into me rambling about prime empire and then Ed and Edna and a lot of disjointed other stuff but thank you for this opportunity i was going to also ramble about lloyd but i put this post in a word count and

yea i think that's enough for a tumblr post anyways! If anyone wants any like. More logically thought out and direct thoughts about characters feel free to send me asks this was fun thank u @zaptrap for this opportunity to scream about jay

[phightinghottakes]

i rlly dont think scythe is a fan service character or anything and that they're just getting that idea from the way the fanbase treats her and applying it to canon bc everyone in the fandom ive seen has a bad habit of doing that, tbh. the fanbase draws her like a conventionally attractive woman w a big chest or small hips or whatever all the time. once you actually look at her in canon she is a 42 year old serial killer. and im not saying people at that age cant look conventionally attractive but cmon, i need more fanart of scythe where she has WRINKLES and is FAT and actually LOOKS HER AGE.

idk. i think its strange to blame a problem that stemmed from the fanbase on soda and saying she intended to design her that way because if you'd actually look at her design and lore and dialogue No, she is clearly not meant to be fanservice. the only reason i can see someone think this with "canon" stuff off the top of my head is her blowing a kiss in her rifle ult and saying "may i have this dance?" because its a bit flirty but even then idk. it just doesnt really make sense to immediately call her fanservice over something small like that.

also ps soda has said before no ships will ever be canon. thats like the one thing that hasnt been retconned at some point. please do not take her scythe/broker art that seriously, especially because she does make a lot of self indulgent phighting art. and also people were shipping scythe/broker before she started posting art of them, it wasnt something she created, but i do agree it started popping up more because of her art.

rambled a bit and its probably nonsensical but im tired so thats my excuse. this take just has me confused and i wanna know more about it. im open to discussion or clarifying anything i talked abt! -👾

.

[dullahandyke]

yippee yippee yippee yippee eimear con haul!!!!

Hi. It was my birthday recently and I'm bad to shop for so instead of gifts I got money to spend at Kaizokucon. So here's a haul. Under the cut bcos I couldnt fit it nicely in one picture and I wanna ramble

ok we're gonna take it one picture at a time ^_^ the ID in the alt text explains what everything is if u just wanna see what i got without the rambling sure to come with it. links in rambling r to the artists of the fan stuff where i can find em ^_^ only one of them is a direct link to the product tho bcos some ppls shops r down and some ppl dont have all their stuff online. lemons_arent_green youre a real one

Ok the flat stuff!!! black rock shooter poster bcos i already have a figure but i liek her... badass anime girl ily.... was so so sure i saw a reigen keychain but when i went to go get one there weren't any so i got this sticker sheet instead :3 SPEAKING OF KEYCHAINS!!! yippee yippee kaguya i love you youre my special little tiempsy. yue you are a gay anime boy with a cool design. tomoyo ive always felt a kinship with you and its because im a desperate dyke. monokuma is here ig 🙄 i put him on my carabiner and hes fun to stim with. i am not immune to the sdr2 fanboying. also full disclosure ive not watched naruto (its in the spreadsheet) i just thought funko pop sasuke keychain was really really funny. my son who stares into my soul. comparatively i dont have as much to say on the badges!! luka luka fever for real girlie ily. the bandori ones were blind bags and i got himari on my first try <3<3<3<3<3<3 sorry eve i kind of dont care. 🙁 the dr girlies i kinda picked at random based on who i've been vibing w lately.

THE POKEMON DIORAMA!!!! its soooo cool, staff were setting up the trade hall so i was in there all day friday and this shop was one of the first to set up their stands and i was literally staring at it all day... so fucking awesome. the rings n the necklace r from the same shop look at them... im fucking obsessed w the catgirl necklace. literally look at her. i dont thiiink shes supposed to be a specific character but she might be. oh well. cat girl ily. aaaand the arisa stand is actually a little clip for papers n stuff!! she was also a blind box but specifically for popipa so i was gonna b happy w whoever <3

MIIIIKUUUUUU MY PRINCESS MY EVERYTHING!!!!! she was calling to me she beckoned..... shes actually rlly big irl shes the biggest figure i have, replacing my kokoro one... shes the one where i audibly said 'it was my birthday i can buy things' bcos figures spencey... she wasnt too bad actually i just like bitching. 6 euro axel for scale

BOOKS 💥💥💥 i was reading nana a while back and i dropped it but i gotta pick it up again... rlly pretty and awesome... aaaand the summer hikaru died!!! kay if youre seeing this then know you posting abt it convinced me <3 i originally got it bcos i was on door duty in a quiet area and didnt wanna spend my time draining battery life on my phone but after i bought it i realised that that was literally a terrible idea so <3 we'll get around to them soon

FINALLLYYYYYY TSHIRTS!!! the top yellow one was my staff t-shirt, it has 'staff' on the back i was wearing it all weekend and yippee i love it.... emotional bond.... and if this is a safe space can i just say. if kaito was a woman? would. next up FAYE FUCKIN VALENTINEEEE!!! do u remember that post i made going thru all the sellers that were gonna b at the con that started like 'i hate shounen fans. name a woman'? well this is the seller i was talking about but all was forgiven in the name of FAYE ! GODDAMN ! VALENTINE ! ugh i love you girlie. and the last t-shirt was given out free to staff after the closing ceremony!! it was the tenth anniversary of kaizokucon so we got this awesomes design yay.... wore it to classes today hoping somebody would comment on it and nobody did 😌and in the middle i got CLOW CARRRDS BITCHES!!!!!! i saw them and immediately all thought left my fucking brain. i needed them. so important. the seller also recognised the axel in my fanny pack yippee!!!! a few people recognised him over the weekend actually and i was always like yes!! the him

anyway. yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! yippee! con con con con con :)

[wrongcaitlyn]

not fic related but i know you are an editor (i follo you on insta!!) but i wanted to ask you how did you start editing and most importantly how did you learn? i’ve always wanted to start editing bc i just have sooo many ideas but i can never figure out where to start and what programs to use. what would you recommend?

ahh omg yes!!! AN EDITING QUESTION god i havent talked about editing in so long even tho im trying to get back into itskldjf

(for those who don't know, i do have an editing insta and tt acc (though i'm not active on tt)!!! @/thae.rchxr on insta and thaerchxr on tt)

i started editing in 2020 during quarantine, and on capcut! i think that it's a pretty good starting spot, especially because it's free and it allows you to understand what you really want to make with your edits/what kinds of edits you want to make - velocities, lyric edits, transition ones, etc

i have to say i wouldn't recommend templates and i'm really not a fan of them. that's my only neg abt capcut now, even though i don't use it... yea i've seen too much of these template apps literally stealing the hard work of editors and it sucks

but anyway!! i currently use after effects, and have used it since early 2022, however it's a computer program, and - though you can pirate it and there are lots of videos online on how to do that - it also costs money if you don't wanna pirate (i got it as a christmas gift so i have the paid version but there's really no difference)

no matter what program you use, TUTORIALS!! youtube is your best friend. i have a youtube channel actually but i mainly post transition inspo instead of tutorials, however if you want some recs (for ae, i unfortunately don't know a lot of tutorial channels for other apps), i learned so much from klqvsluv, ae.chambb, and clewxdre on youtube! and, of course, lauren. she's kind of a mini celebrity in the editing communitysdklf - and there are so many more as well

if it's transition edits you're specifically trying to get into, def try and master the basics - zoom in's, out's, slide left/right, shakes and turbs if that's the kind of edit you wanna make. but honestly, the entire thing is just practice practice practice!! even though i only started editing on ae 2 years ago, i used to make edits, like, every day. i was obsessed. i would wake up and spend hours on edits, trying new transitions and new plugins and effects, and i think it really paid off :)

another thing you can do is attempt to remake edits! most editors will be completely alright with it (as long as you don't steal, ofc) and many even put out project files (i do have a few on my payhip- linked in my insta lmfaodjsf shameless self promo) that you can look at to see how they did certain transitions. remakes are good because it takes out the factor of having to figure out what transitions you want to make and lets you focus entirely on the technical aspect - which will then make it easier for you to pull off the transitions you think of yourself!

so, to conclude this ramble bc i can never shut up - i think i would definitely recommend ae if you have a computer/laptop. but i also think that other editing apps (the ones i see most often are videostar, alight motion, and capcut - all of which are mobile apps) can make absolutely incredible edits. i have friends who use each of these different editing apps and i know they can make some of the most mindblowing edits, even though i personally have no idea how to use vs or am lmaodsjf

so it's up to you! look at some tutorials, don't feel too intimidated, and go with the layout that makes the most sense to you. then just don't be afraid of making a "bad" edit bc let's be real the first edits are alwaysss shitty. i cringe when looking back at the edits all the way to last summer. but that's the beauty of it, because you can see your editing style and skill grow over time, and then you can eventually make edits that you'll be really proud of <3 i wish you the best of luck on your editing journey!! it's honestly so fun once you get into the swing of it :)

[rollercoasterwords]

genuinely thank you so much for writing thtf. it's my favourite thing to read in the whole world for so many reasons. like other than where it's obviously devastating (in SUCH a good way), idk it just makes me so happy

I think it's the first wip i followed from start to finish and I have to say that part of 2022 was not the greatest but yk, every few days there'd be a new chapter. and it was great.

I fucking love Dorcas talking about "a butterfly in the palm of your hand" it's changed the way I think so much. like you would not expect this from a fanfic lmao but it's pretty much exactly what I needed to hear at the time. living just to live, even if it's complete shit, not caring about what they're leaving behind. ch 42 (i think) where all they're doing is just washing the dishes but it's so special and they're listening to dawn storm is so important to me I love it SO much. fucking amazing.

ngl I don't really think there's anything I don't like. every character feels so right - regulus in particular sticks out to me, like there's such a good balance between him doing pretty bad things because he's not a particularly "good person" but also not being a complete dick. also I would die for marlene mckinnon and the way you write her is just so fucking good. the way she is just so alive to make up for her shorter life is so beautiful to me. I could ramble on for a very long time about everything in this fic but I dont want this to get too long lol

the music you put on the chapters is also really good like I'm pretty sure the first time I read it I didn't listen the music and then I reread it with the music and it was like a whole different experience

yeah i would've sent this earlier (like maybe a year ago) but looks like I put it off for a really long time lol

also - really love where atwmd is going rn I'm so excited for more chapters, i love Sirius Black etc etc

ahh thank u this is so sweet! i love hearing that thtf resonated w people it definitely feels like the fic kinda took on its own life & became a little philosophical journey that i was not entirely expecting lol. i think writing a story where i knew my main characters were going 2 die the whole time really made me contemplate like. ok what do i actually want 2 say abt death, and by way of that what do i wanna say abt life? bc like. as someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife i didn't wanna write a story that says "well it's ok bc they can be happy in the afterlife" <3 bc like. that does not comfort me lol. & i also didn't wanna write a story that was like "it's ok bc there's gonna be a good future 4 others after them," bc i think life means something and matters even outside of futurity. i didn't wanna play into this narrative that u have 2 Do Something 2 make ur life meaningful by making sure u have an impact on the future, etc; i wanted 2 write abt life as meaningful outside of that. & i also specifically wanted 2 write abt life as something beautiful & meaningful even with the bad stuff mixed in, and even if death is abrupt and scary and painful and unwanted. like i purposely made both their deaths pretty brutal bc i personally find the idea of a "bad death" really scary! the idea of dying before ur ready, dying scared or alone or in pain or all three, etc...and i think part of why that's so scary is bc we place this big emphasis, again, on a linear timeline of life, where death is The End, and if The End is bad, then the story's a sad one. but death is just one moment in the sum total of billions of moments throughout your life; why should that bad cancel out all the good? why should a story be sad, just because the last page of it is sad? you can open the book to any page and find happiness, and love, and warmth, etc. & that's what i'm trying 2 say w "a story is not its end."

anyway. this got much longer than expected lol i love 2 ramble abt thtf but! again ty 4 the kind words glad u enjoyed the fic glad u enjoyed the music as well!! i love the playlist 4 that fic <3

[daz4i]

O P Q Z for the silly lil ask game~! (and for z i shall prompt bsd cos why not?)

ehehe thank you!!!! :D

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

look away by the dear hunter... oikawa tooru song fr fr

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

you wanna ask about my bsdlands au. you wanna ask abt my bsdlands au so bad.

askldjfgh but to make a new one on the spot. well it's not really mine bc it's in mayoi but i neeeed more thief dazai and detective chuuya. except everyone in the agency is also a thief and they pull heists together and it's great and chuuya is fighting for his life bc he keeps running into them right as they leave the scene but they never leave any evidence behind so he can't actually do anything about it. also to spice things up i want it to have some weird hidden identity stuff like dazai always wearing a mask during heists and thus chuuya is unable to recognize him when they meet somewhere outside, perhaps even start dating, up until a certain point (where he like. saw thief!dazai get injured during a heist. and then he sees the same injury on him later. or something like that) and then it turns into chuuya in conflict on whether or not he can trust dazai and whether he should keep pursuing the case (bc. he still doesn't have concrete evidence. also i wanna say dazai knows that chuuya knows but pretends he doesn't. to add a layer to it like chuuya questioning and hoping that he got it wrong and it's all a weird coincidence but like deep down he knows that's not the case and just refuses to admit it bc he may or may not have caught feelings)

and i started rambling and it turned into a monster lol i apologize. if anyone wants to take this^ and do anything with it PLEASE do and tag me in it if you do u3u

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

south park. bc it got Very Bad to the point it made me stop caring abt any of it aside from the friends i made through the fandom

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go!

OH GOD OKAY so. the doa's current goal confuses me a lot. at least fukuchi's ig. like at first when he talked abt erasing nations and borders i was like fuck yeah. and i thought the issue is the method, mind control, but i understood where he was coming from with his ptsd and such. but now it kinda looks like he just wants to kill everyone...? king what is this meant to achieve. are you literally just so mad abt your divorce you want to burn the whole world. damn just get a journal or smth! fr tho i can't see how it's meant to align with his initial goals or with his trauma, and how he came to this conclusion?? i thought the point of getting one order is to STOP needless bloodshed?? so bro what is thissssss what are you doinggggggg why!!!!!!!!!

send some fandom asks?

[alienglowgarden]

not gonna finish that fic, so instead I'll just ramble abt it to myself

First thing I'll say is, damn longform stories are hard to write. I've really only roleplayed and written nanofiction, drabbles n the like( n one short story but its full of experimental prose so its pretty nonsequential stuff too) so the very basic act of stringing a bunch of events together and giving each enough attention was kind of a struggle. Plus I wanna start a philosophical tangent based on like every other paragraph y_y It went better than my first attempt at fic, but even this in retrospect is probably pretty bad, esp with the lack of response from anyone beyond a "well this convoluted sentence was kind of funny". Tho I'll say I still feel fairly confident in the first chapter v_v It was GOOD, OK??? Could ofc be flippant and blame it on the fact that its not shipping or smut n that thats all fandom cares about, but-

Next up, excerpts from the fic that I, PERSONALLY thought were super funny and great bits in general.

I thought I was SO clever for the customer service voice comparison. A real phenomena that affects millions of sufferers every day.

n honestly this whole paragraph right after I thought sounded like a delightful little montage. And its a sweet thought that Sol's wasting their rations on Sym just to include him in the ritual and to prolong the whole "playing house" bit. Similarly later on when Sol prattles on abt cooking up something special next time, again, even tho Sym doesn't really need to eat. He's noted by Dys to like sweets, but even when you give him a cake he just tastes the icing a bit n is like "well that was nice :-)"

I WAS BOILING IN MY SKIN I THOUGHT I WAS BEING SOOOOO FUNNY UGH AND NOBODY EVEN MENTIONED IT!!!! COME ONNN!!! Similarly Sol having trouble focusing on the english, needing subtitles cus they grew up on esperanto I thought was nice attention to detail from me.

Also I compared Seeq to Blackadder, where is my comedy emmy

this wouldve had a nice callback in the last chapter, of Sol similarly finding themself experiencing something totally new and unique, totally outside of the timeloops scope.

I also liked my little Sol & the Embrace Eternity ending during Syms death hiatus bit, that was something I had written as just a teensy drabble idea before the fic. Also liked injecting a slight divergence from known canon with Geranium believing Sols future vision. Wouldve later been called up again with both of them fussing over Flulu a lot n Ger kinda feeling like shit when/if Sol gets involuntarily operated upon.

Onto chapter 2:

Ok the sugarbug thing was really all I had going for it, I was gonna wax poetic abt Vace n Sols relationship more, but depended far too much on getting any positive feedback n motivation to keep going lol v_v Theres a lot you could weave together about their mutual self-inflicted need to be a hero, even at the cost of their own suffering, their own dreams. Of feeling alienated from others for seemingly knowing more, seeing the big picture. N similarly (my) Sol has a bit of that same bravado that masks the unseemly parts of them, the reasons that would make others worry if they knew Sol wasn't just messing around, that their achievements weren't just happy accidents, but things they'd meticulously planned for, sacrificed for.

But anyway the surgabug thread was meant to be a sign of the Gardeners still holding onto their feelings of both resentment and love for their creators. Just a single facet, there would be more, but the most obvious thread once Sol learns to spot it.

Noctilucent is just fun to write for :3 "Little weed" would also with time become a more affectionate nickname for Sol.

Once again, I THOUGHT I WAS SO FUNNY FOR THIS. Why is my genous so underappreciated.

...and again, the care all Gardeners share for their planet, for the garden their creators left them, largely explored through Noctilucent, for whom that would seem most unlikely, who would surprise the reader most. In future chapters, there would have been more scenes.

Most notably, Noct finds Sol after a devastating accident that leaves them with a concussion(possibly self inflicted in an attempt to reconnect those wormhole synapses in their brain again). Sol tries to blubber something about a deal the gardeners wont be able to resist. They realize Noct has taken measures to care for their wounds. Eventually, the agreement is struck. More lenience is extended. Noct hidden relationship meter goes a little bit up again.

The end would mark a secret place Noctilucent takes Sol, the New Experience they share in confidence, a new facet of understanding the puzzle and Sol's own place in it.

ok yea its referencing that rio romero song lmao. Sol feeling a spooky ooky similarity of their own fates within the timeloop to that of the sugarbug, as utilised by their own colony. A replenishable resource; no regard for its wellbeing. Or probably more likely seeing the danger of becoming that, by their own hand, permitting their life to be consumed by the colony's survival.

[rayvern-sheep]

Update on my mental health: I am doing better! Just in case anyone read those concerning posts the past few weeks and was worried.

I have kinda long-winded advice sorta shit under the cut if you are thinking of top surgery but know you don’t deal w/ change well, or have got it but are wondering why you still feel like shit weeks later when everyone else seems to feel better. And then some more rambling in the tags if you’re into that sorta thing.

Oh boy it’s long under the cut… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Some advice: if you have a hard time w/ big change, small change, any kind of change. Be prepared to have a hard time w/ top surgery recovery. The general consensus if you research it is that post-op depression is over by abt the fourth week, and that is actually deemed late by some sources. Many said the second or third week. If you are starting to feel worse after that point it does not mean you made a mistake! Don’t panic!

Even though I wrote several notes to myself before the procedure explaining that I did in fact want this, and I know I am bad w/ change, that did not help me when I was in the pits of a doom spiral. I’m ngl that was genuinely the worst I’ve been mentally in years. I had to ring a suicide hotline at one point because I thought I’d lost the point of life. Talk to someone you trust abt how you’re feeling. I just straight up sobbed into my mum’s shoulder abt how I didn’t understand anything anymore and I was terrified I’d made a mistake getting surgery. She talked me through it and reminded me that I’d wanted this for years, that I didn’t go outside w/out a binder on, etc. She reminded me that everyone deals w/ things at different times, just because most ppl feel perfectly fine by the one month mark it doesn’t mean I would. Then after that I just hung out w/ her. The day after that we went and did some chores outside the house. A little time outside is often a good idea, I do regret to inform you.

I’m not gonna say I’m all fixed and perfect now. I’m still low energy and back to hiding in my baggy hoodies (now I can get them on again yippee!!!) but I’m not pushing myself rn. And I wish I had some good advice other than idk have a good system of loved-ones. If you have a therapist talk to them. Don’t be like me and bottle shit up. I’m so good at bottling shit up that I do not notice smthn is getting bad until I’m at the very bottom of the fucking doom spiral and I look up and see how far I fell down it lmao.

I wrote a whole diff paragraph but deleted it. Better version though is just try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Surgery is exhausting, and feeling burned-out even after a month isn’t smthn to be ashamed of. Just focus on keeping yourself sane. If possible take it easy, do things half-assed and low-effort for a while if you can get away w/ it. Just while you mentally catch up to your new stuff.

For some ppl top surgery “fixes” all their problems, but for most it does not. Whatever mental or physical problems you had before surgery, you will still have. Now, my surgeon literally told me surgery would not fix everything. I knew this before going into this, before I even had my first conversation with him, and I still had a bad fucking time mentally. So don’t expect to feel perfect. I was in a weird surreal bubble for the first like 3(?) weeks where I was just physically recovering before my head fucking lost it.

I don’t wanna put anyone off, and tbh worrying abt how bad you’re gonna feel can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I just wanna say that it can get rough. But if it does, you are not alone!!! You’ve not ruined your life, it’s not the end of the world, you still have something to live for. Keep pushing through, take it slow, talk to someone you trust. Try to do things that comfort you and help you feel safe. You’re gonna get through it.

Idk man I just wanted to share my experience on this. Because in my frantic research from the bottom of the pit all I could see were smiling faces saying they felt the best they’d ever felt in their life. It was euphoria all day every day. And the only ppl who weren’t feeling perfect were the ppl unhappy w/ their results. But the thing is I love my results, everything looks as expected. It’s literally how I drew it lmao, couldn’t have gone better. Not to brag sorry. But the point was, nothing was wrong physically. The majority of the physical healing was done, but my brain hadn’t been healing at all during that time. It was just putting itself to the side while the body did it’s thing. And when even proper medical sources are saying that ppl usually start to feel mentally better after the fourth week, and I was actually starting to feel shitty by that point, it rlly made me worry smthn was wrong. I was frantically trying to blame something for what I was feeling. And it was likely a whole mess of shit, with the main culprit being my inability to process change. Dude I freak out when a loved-one gets a tattoo or a piercing or changes their fucking hair. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. It stresses me out. And although I always get over it eventually, I should’ve known that this was gonna happen. After those early weeks of the itchy haze, I totally should’ve known a mental spiral was on the horizon. But I was just so lost in the sauce that was the whole experience.

I would not change the experience of top surgery for the world. I only wish I’d been more prepared for the dive my mental health would take so late in the game. I expected post-op depression. But as I said that’s usually only in the first couple of weeks. So when it didn’t happen I thought I was okay. But oooooo boy. I forgot how slow my brain is at processing shit. And hey, if I did “make a mistake” in getting my tits chopped off. If in the future I’m like “Hey I’m a woman now!” then so fucking what. There are titless women out there, and they’re no less woman than a woman w/ tits so big they break her back. Life is for living so fucking do that. I’ve not butchered or ruined my body even if my gender does change in the future. Get rekt transphobes.

ANYWAY… I think I’ve rambled enough. If I remember smthn I’ll prob add it in a RB cos this post is already long enough now. Thank fuck for the “read more” function. So I can hide all my stupid mushy shit under here and not clog up someone’s dash. Yippee!!

[izzy-b-hands]

I know music aus are overdone for Ed and Izzy and their crew pre-Stede (or at least that particular au is pretty well saturated for both pre and with Stede) but

(very rambly au talking below the cut involving a fic draft I'm working on rn. I attempted to make this slightly easier to parse by italicising my Additional Thoughts and putting them into their own paragraphs and brackets but. There's a lotta love for this au and it's late so this is messy, bear with me while I babble excitedly.)

I'm really loving dipping back into the one I started for AU-gust and adding onto it with other bands. Like, I'm finally writing this one particular Dethklok/Queen Anne's Revenge

(placeholder band name for Ed, Izzy, Fang, and Ivan bc it does fuck as a band name in a weird way since I see them being like. purposefully subversive with it? in terms of lyrics/things sung about/album artwork/etc. Like, y'all remember the chants at football games when the queen died last year or whenever that happened I don't remember and fuck looking it up bc. I don't give a fuck abt the royals lmao? Lizzie's in box? that's the vibe for anything for them when they get political, v punk and fuck the state which is entirely too reductive for how much More I have in ideas for this sphere of things for them but that's not what this post was meant to be about so i finally digress-)

idea wherein they play a show with Dethklok, specifically water-themed. All the water/ocean/mermaid/pirates/etc things like that songs that both bands have are on the setlist, and. And. Dethklok, as the hosting band

(aka Charles needed to clean things up and distract from the latest spate of accidental concert deaths, and QAR's current management in the form of one shithead extraordinaire Ben Hornigold doesn't give two fucks about what he signs them up for as long as he gets the biggest cut out of it, so he doesn't even appreciate that like. the world's most famous band and their manager approached them, an also v famous but not as famous considering this is now an AU where Queen, Dethklok, QAR, and other musicians/bands are all hobknobbing far more than they ever might irl thing, band. Without any reason. Just chose them at random. If u thought Ben was bad in canon I'm somehow making him even more insufferable and shit in this au, he's just Bad At His Job but stumbles into success on Ed, Izzy, Fang, and Ivan's talents. Whatever, off topic AGAIN but I just have so much I love and wanna talk about with this au-)

Set up a new sort of pit/stage design. The operating idea is a clear, aquarium like tank or pool, where the fans can float and headbang away, all while feeling like fishes themselves! It's very clever, you see, and definitely won't result in anyone drowning when it turns into a mosh tsunami

(spoiler alert: it is clever, but not really, and so many people are gonna drown. Luckily, in this fic Metalocalypse logic applies bc only Dethklok and QAR are involved, so they can bask in that universe's ability to kill people constantly as part of Dethklok's Whole Thing without it being a big deal, though this is from Izzy's POV and a big part of it is him realising that and coming to terms with it as they play through people just. Literally headbanging hard enough into violently sloshing water to drown themselves, with a smile on their face because they got to see Dethklok, finally.)

Also Murderface is the opener as one-man Planet Piss and it goes so poorly for him and Izzy and Ed are just. So mildly grossed out by how it goes down and sweetly concerned. Someone get that kid some therapy, a hug, and please tell him to stop pissing on the crowd as part of his Planet Piss act (He will not.)

My working setlist thus far because of course I've got the fucking setlist (though since QAR doesn't...actually exist, I'm just giving them songs by other rock/metal/grunge/punk acts I like that have songs with fitting themes/lyrics for this show. As such D=Dethklok song, QAR/(insert name of band that actually plays the song irl) on these):

1.Murmaider-D

2. Murmaider II-D

3. Murmaider III-D

4. A History of Bad Men-QAR/Melvins (not exactly on theme, but it's peak early canon edizzy vibes for me, so in this au it's just like. one of their always played songs, every show, no matter what.)

5. Flying Whales-QAR/Gojira

6. Black Waters-QAR/Avatar

7. Go Into the Water-D

8. Capsized-QAR/Kyuss (an instrumental to try and uh. give the Klokateers time to get a big fucking net and get out the already dead audience members. Keep the vibes going but not make it too weird with the...everything, going on lmao)

9. unsure yet bc it needs to bring the energy back without it being Weird, and that's a delicate balance...so probably something else by Brendan Small. I'll eventually post this playlist, probably, but for now. In progress just for this fic special little playlist listing.

[lemonlumens]

this is from like a month ago lol but i think this is a better design for coffee. idk abt the bangs tho i think it makes them look a bit too young. menthe is also there ig

other old oc stuff under the cut

a short and very incomplete comic from like june i think about coffee having a dream. the larger idea still rattles around in my brain sometimes so maybe someday i’ll get around to completing it.

uhhhhh concept of an oc that i literally forgot about until today when i was looking through my files lmao. i think she’s a casino card dealer or something hence the outfit? her scar is pretty cool though. i don’t even think i had backstory abt it i think i just thought it looked cool even back then

this is from december of last year. i think this is like the halfway or maybe 1/3 point between what they were like when i first created them (airheaded and easygoing) and what they’re like now (fairly unexpressive, vibe of just kinda drifting without aim, depressed). actually have i talked about any of my ocs in the slightest i genuinely have no idea.

[welcometogrouchland]

i can't think abt jonsasha too much because i'm inevitably compelled to write fic for them. i'm holding on for dear life rn trying to resist I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS

[chisatowo]

Someone remind me tomorrow to continue reading sekai stories I cannot carry on like this exploding my unit swap 25ji ideas in my mind violently even though I'm thoroughly limited by the things I do not know

[rt-lots]

honestly instead of the clementine comics i really wish we'd gotten a visual novel instead. like, something i wish we got to see more of in twdg is characters (especially clementine) actually talking abt their past/trauma. due to the plot and well, just the gameplay in general of twdg, you cant really fit in resolution of character-based conflict. the conflict IS the titular walking dead. twdg's about making decisions to alter a greater plot, not sorting through the individual pieces of that plot's feelings. but a visual novel, a game thats basically words n pretty pictures, i feel like is the perfect kind of game for looking inward at the characters instead of outwards at a greater threat.

i feel like plot progression wise the end of s4 would be the perfect time for character exploration as well, specifically clementine's. s4 ends off with clementine recovering from an amputated leg, she's not yet well or mobile enough to start going out on her own. for now, she's settling down. there's no big bad or external conflict for her to deal with, this is a period of time focused on her and her recovery. it just seems like a no-brainer to me that if clementine were to start talking about herself more openly, it would be now.

and i've been analyzing this idea in a very clem-specific lens but i also really wanna see exploration of the rest of ericson's too. violet has major abandonment issues, louis has low self worth, aj. and (determinately) tenn also has his own things he's working with. you see the sort of beginning of all of these arcs at the end scene in s4, but i think it'd be super cool to see them more fleshed out you know? maybe most people wouldn't wanna play a game thats essentially just trauma rehabilitation simulator but i would personally and i wish that's what we got instead of the character exploration the clementine comic tries and fails to be.

BECAUSE its just like. theres SO much to talk about you know?? depending on what route you took or what choices you made so many different traumatizing things happened. and not even just in s4 alone, the ericsons kids and clementine already have baggage and things they never worked through and now clementine finally has a space where she can be open which maybe encourages the ercisons kids to start talking too and just *$&*&*%^%&#^&$* i want walking dead therapy simulator damnit

gahh i wanna keep typing because i have more to say but?? idk i feel like it'd be redundant at this point. rambling unscripted for an hour is easy, typing the exact same points into a tumblr post is hard ;_; tldr i love the ericsons kids i love twdg i love you twdg fans please interact

[retelling-of-ragnarok]

❆ ᴇᴠʏ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴡᴇɴ ʀᴀᴍʙʟᴇꜱ #1 ❆

✰ tell me your character’s art school major and i’ll ramble about the kinds of interactions they could have with my character✰

@golden--requiem

❆ be warned: i have never had a coherent thought in my life but i think these two are NEAT ❆

❆ anyway hello yeah a college au with these two would be so fun. gwen definitely walked in on evy staying late after school, and caught a glimpse of a painting she was working on as was like?? blown away? like yeah sure they’re already appreciative and passionate abt art anyway? but seeing evy’s painting was like.

“oh damn i might shed a tear.”

i could be so wrong rn but i feel like evy really pours so much emotion into her paintings? like none of her paintings look too similar because its like?? idk some deep emotional shit brain doesnt work the point is that gwen LOVES her art.

so imagine being evy rn. you’re cleaning up from a hard day’s work. and probably not expecting to be BARGED IN ON by some random student— let alone the one people keep trying to crowd and pick fights with? and they’re staring so hard and her works too??

no ‘hellos’ no ‘how are yous’ gwen straight up goes “stay after school tomorrow too.” and leaves. NO SOCIAL SKILLS ASS MF. like yeah they’re all cool and suave but when they’re interested in something? they’re fr just. AWKWARD. no sense of making friends or anything bruh.

they def keep going on like that. and eventually gwen starts ACTUALLY talking instead of just watching. probably perched on one of the counters and looking all engaged. again making friends is still kinda hard for them— they’re normally so used to persuading people to either leave them alone or do things for them. but w evy its like “hmbmgn how long have you paint? why do you paint? OH WHAT COLOUR IS THAT—“

theyre friends. again since people in gwen’s class, and some of the other fine arts students, actively try to mess with them— gwen kinda has this permanent scowl on their face? or at least they’re not approachable. so imagine all the other students seeing them go from “>:|” to “:D” - LORD.

evy definitely helps gwen with their final, even though she’s probably stressing over HERS as well.

gwen: “bUT YOUR BRAIN SO LARGE? HELP? PLEASE?”

evy: “?!!?!!!!!?!”

gwen has so many ideas but sometimes they don’t come out the way they want them to and they def cry to evy when this happens. sobbing uncontrollably like. sniffling and sulking in the corner and shit.

gwen: “my brain is broken..”

evy: “i’m sure it isnt that bad ‘^^ “

gwen: “ofc its not bad its HORRIBLE.” fucking wailing and shit

evy: “oh dear!!!!!!!”

gwen loves loves loves evy’s colour usage. its so evocative and leaves them like “oh damn where those my feelings or the ones she wanted me to feel?” def took some notes from her. sure everyone considers gwen the top student in their respective class, but evy’s pieces?? have them in tears.

gwen doesn’t really hang out with her much outside of school?? bc theyre not familiar with all of that— but i feel like evy would invite them out and they’d be like. “okay.”

def holds her sleeve in public bc they hate being in a place w so many eyes. like boy how do you aspire to be a famous artist but hate attention 🤨 ANYWAYS BUT THEY ENDURE IT. bc time with evy turns out to be a ton of fun— even when art isn’t involved.

bestest of friendships blossoms i swear.

LITERALLY NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE— but i think these two are so fun and cute. lil art school buddies. OFC IF YOU WANT MORE I CAN DEF RAMBLE MORE. its like 2:15 in the am and my brain is like “mfnm” so all i can provide are incoherent rambles.

IF YOU WANNA ADD OR CORRECT ANYTHING PLS FEEL FREE. ❆

[scourge-sympathiser]

dont worry abt needing to add anything i just wanna share this idea b4 i forget it but also i dont rlly know any1 who likes warriors so,,,

okay i saw a little animation on utube about fallen leaves and while i was reading up on his wiki it hit me

in outcast, after jaypaw has been having dreams about fallen n his death, n after meeting him while looking 4 the missing kits in the tunnels, fallen asks him to stay but jay declines.

what if, unhappy w/ being forced to be a medcat, and wanting to live his *own* life he accepts? and a similar thing to what happened to holly happens where the cave entrance collapses (whether fallen and jay had smth to do with it or it was just convenient, idk), n everyone thinks that jay died saving these kits. but really hes living his best life in the caves. fallen teaches him how to hunt and fight well, bc the caves are dark, 's not like you can see very well even if you weren't blind.

and jay starts having the dreams where he's jay's wing, back in the ancients time, and its a little different where instead of having a crush on halfmoon he (jay's Wing) had a crush on fallen before fallen died in the caves. and thats why jay brings up the idea to leave to the mountains. and when he ends up back in the present he realizes that he once again has a crush on fallen.

and fallen remembers, or recognizes jay as jay's wing and is like "oh... Oh!" and realizes he also, once again, has a crush. and so jay choses that as his full name. Jaywing.

jay starts walking in dreams and having visions of The Battle, and at this point its been a couple of years at this point, the whole thing w/ ashfur happened and the gathering where holly tells after killing ash happens, and jay finds out through holly's dreams, bc shes projecting her own fears, anger, and insecurities hard while she sleeps. and that really makes jay upset but then he talks w/ fallen and comes to the conclusion that it doesnt matter who his real parents were, bramble and squirrel are still his parents to him.

eventually with the battle looming on the horizon, and rock urging him to go, he leaves the caves. and returns to thunderclan. n fallen can follow him due to his powers, and at first the clan think jay is a rogue or loner, but its dove who has Never seen him before who mentions that he's blind just from observing how carful he puts his paws down that everyone freezes before going "jay???"

and oh mouse dung, hes no longer a grumpy, scrawny medcat apprentice. he's still on the shorter side but he filled out, muscle no one thought he'd have ripples beneath his coat, he's as strong as a *warrior*. and has the skills as one, too. he can hunt and fight as well as the rest of them, its almost like he isn't blind when he's actually in the zone. but he still bumps into things n trips over roots or uneaven ground.

and yeah the Battle happens and he's out there, using his starsight to fight along side fallen leaves, until the battle is won and fallen reunites with his family, and is torn between staying with jay in the caves and actually going where hes supposed to. jay tells him to go, he'll be okay, and to wait for him.

but wait, if cats can be reincarnated and have powers... why can't the tribe of endless hunting and starclan let him properly live where he left off? so hes given another chance and put back into the tunnels with a physical form, and meets jay again and joins him in thunderclan.

idk thats what i have sorry abt rambling!!

ok actually i kinda lov this? im a suckr 4 ghost romance & jay being like ok actually fuck yall........... i would perhapz move the kit thing a little further down the timeline so tht jay is a bit older tho, maybe

like the idea tht part of why fallen asked for him to stay waz a hint of fimiliarity tht just growz & one day he just like... Seez it on jayz face whn he wakez up from a dream about the ancients- or like maybe jay callz him by a nickname from timez long since passed, tht kinda thing? on one hand im like yea on the other the trope of "i like u bcuz u remind me of a dead personi loved" isnt my fav but like a little sprinkle isnt bad

interesting 2 think of wht would happen 2 hollyleaf with her escape into the cavez long since blocked off by both rockz n the truma of loosing a sibling.... like, doez she stay in the clanz? might be fun if she ended up living in the field tht crow & leaf once tried 2 leave thru, but also he awkwardly still being in thunderclan..... lov tht

n well i just Cannot care about the battle i do LOV jaywing coming out of the tunnelz just likle hai guyz whtz up :3 as if he didnt fake his own death.... also the idea of jay using his dreamwalking ability 2 just check up on his family & see how thy r like. Doing

idk about fallen coming back with a body bcuz tht seemz like more thn starclan or endless hunting could do but also it would be VERY VERY weird 4 fallen 2 come back w/ the regular method of being reborn a kit.......... pursonaly i think it would be fun for him 2 stay a ghost but no longer be attached 2 the cave system- instead just exploring & hanging out with jay who can alwayz sense his presence- other catz somtimez catch glimpsez but hez not like. very tangible most timez.... many catz think jay probably just lost it a little in the tunnelz, not tht he rly goez around like hey evry1 herez my ghost make he just talkz 2 himself, laughz at seemingly nothing, tht kinda thing

..... honest 2 god didnt mean 2 add this much im holding myself back, evn,