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themilky-way · 4 years ago

Text

Connections {s.r}

gif credit: nobravery on tumblr!

pairing: spencer reid x female! reader

summary: you work at the BAU and are best friends with everybody, except spencer. you think he just doesn’t like you until one day, he proves you wrong.

warnings: just some minor hints of sadness, reader going through something, nothing major or specific.

author’s note: ah yes I did miss writing and spencer reid has my heart entirely. stay safe guys! ALSO I’M BARELY ON SEASON 3 SO YA’LL BETTER NOT SPOIL ANYTHING ISTG LMAO

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working in the BAU, your job was never boring. five months in had changed your outlook on almost anything and everything in your life, and had your mind now racing at what seemed like a million miles per minute. it was an exhilarating experience, regardless of how crude the crime scene could be, and it was about time you came to terms with that.

the BAU team was just as thrilled to have you with them as you were to join. nobody expected-or wanted- a new member, and were ready to reject your application when they finally met you for the interview. however, after you demonstrated to everyone that you could profile a serial killer based on only the amount of blood at the scene and position of the victim, everyone basically wanted to give you the “welcome tour” of the headquarters.

after you finally got an opportunity to get used to the layout of the job and your training ended, the team always looked forward to your “good morning” notes on their desk. being an early bird, you got there before everyone so you could get ahead on your reports, and always left small notes of encouragement on the person’s desk. it was a small and sweet gesture, and very much needed for the severity of the job.

“seriously, this girl must be doing some type of hypnosis or something to everybody here. why is it that every time I see her, I just wanna hug her, huh?”

“not hypnosis, morgan. just plain ol’ appreciation,” jj said. they were huddled around his desk as they all read a note that said: “always keep your head up, champ. we appreciate the work you do around here :)”

by then, he was the last of the bunch to read his card. however, he didn't have a gold star attached to it, which meant he wasn’t the “agent of the day” as you liked to phrase it. derek flipped the sticky note over and attempted to find it, but stopped when he realized he wasn’t it.

“wait, guys, so if I didn’t get a star, who did?” morgan asked, clearly puzzled. garcia shook her head and pouted, jj simply put a thumbs down, and prentiss muttered a “nope.” everyone knew hotch didn’t get it, because they figured he would call you in privately to thank you. everyone turned to look at you work in the conference room through the window. you were scribbling something on the whiteboard and had papers scattered everywhere on the table, unaware of the team’s puzzled expressions. at that moment, spencer walked through the double glass doors of the bureau and headed over to his desk as he normally would. as he did so, he found the team huddled together and looking at something, and when he followed their gaze he knew what this was about.

in truth, spencer never really cared for having a friendship with you. he looked at you as a coworker and just that, and developing a platonic relationship with you just wasn't anywhere in his mind. he did enjoy the words of encouragement and motivation every morning, though, and no matter how many phases of denial he went through, he looked for it as soon as he reached his desk.

“hey, guys, wanna hear something I discovered about dolphins last night?” spencer teased as he made his way over to morgan’s desk. nobody turned their heads from your direction, and it wasn't until reid mentioned your note that everyone stopped profiling you and turned their attention to him.

“you guys wanna hear-yeah that’s what I thought-wanna hear my note (y/n) left me?” he held up the sticky note and everyone nodded eagerly. he turned the note so he was able to read it, and began. “ ‘the world is smart, but you’re smarter. have a great day, reid!’ how cool is this!” he smiled and at that point so did everyone, when they realized that the note still had more to it.

“oh my god, reid! you got the gold star! congratulations sunshine,” garcia pointed out as she gave him a light punch on the shoulder. spencer’s mind started bouncing back and forth between thoughts when he looked at the tiny gold sticker below your comment. did this mean anything? should he mention it?

the answer to that was yes, he should, but was he going to? probably not. pats on the back were given as the team got up from morgan’s desk and headed to their own when hotch came out of his office and told everyone to meet in the conference room in five to look over a new case. reid, as he walked back to his pile of reports, looked at you working on your own. he never really thought of you as a friend, and didn't want to for that matter. but the longer he looked at you he started to realize that maybe befriending you wouldn't be so horrible. as everyone entered the room and gave you a hug or cheery greeting, spencer opted to sit at the other end of you. but one thing was for sure: his smile was the brightest one in the room.

the next few weeks went by quickly, and included a variety of new “agents’ of the day.” after reid, there was morgan, who practically wanted to kiss you after that. emily followed, who was beginning to turn into one of your closest friends. jj and garcia came next, and soon the four of you founded a girl’s night out every weekend.

however, them being the best profilers in the entire bureau, they noticed that the notes progressively stopped. the team realized something was off with you, and they noticed that your demeanor was different. you began to come later than you usually did, at one point even later than derek. your hairstyle changed to a messier bun, your desk was worse than reid’s, and no more cute notes were seen for almost two weeks.

“something’s wrong, you guys. she’s been here for months and she’s never once frowned or even forgot to put the cap back on her pen,” emily said, packing her files in her briefcase. jj nodded her head, “yeah I know, and I want to ask but I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I mean, what if we’re reading too much into it?”

“reading into it? jj, we profile murderers who we’ve never even met, I’m pretty sure (y/n)’s going through something,” morgan stated, standing up from his chair and pushing it in adequately.

“we know one thing: when she’s ready to vent, we’ll be here. in the meantime, we should go home and get some rest. we fly out to oregon tomorrow,” hotch said. everyone agreed, and they stood up and gathered their belongings and headed for the exit door. they waved and said their goodbye’s to you, who was seated at the other end of the room.

you were the only one left at the bureau, and you were more tired than usual due to your lack of sleep recently. you closed your eyes, took a couple of deep breaths, and began to massage your temples with your pointer fingers. it’s been tough for you, taking care of your grandparents ever since they came to live with you. arguments with your mother always lead to the same thing: leaving. you loved them, and you adored having family with you, especially in a job like the one you had. but you had to sacrifice your sleep and wellbeing in order for them to be safe.

you were so concentrated in your thoughts that you didn’t hear footsteps coming down the stairs, moving towards your direction, and finally coming to a complete stop next to your desk. it wasn't until a soft voice broke you from your thoughts, or more so from your nap at that point.

“(y/n)?”

you lifted your head rapidly, and looked up to find the source of the voice, and when you did, you managed to slur, “reid, what the hell, I, uh, thought I was the only one left.

“no, I was just catching up on my reports and was about to go home. by the looks of it, you should too.”

“alright, catch you in the morning, spence. I still gotta finish this case file,” you were looking at him now, and as you spoke you gave a tiny nod to your opened manila folder. “wait you’re staying later? do you know how dangerous it is for girls of your type to be out at these hours of the night? I read a study once that determined women who wandered at night suffered the most danger between the hours of 1 a.m. to 4 a.m.. I mean you don't want to put yourself-”

“I'm not gonna be long, dr. reid, I think I’ll be fine,” you cut him off mid fact. you returned to your paperwork and picked up your pen to write some notes on the margin, and when you looked back up a couple minutes later, you found reid staring at you, confusion clearly manifesting over his features.

‘I suggest offering you a seat, sir. that way you can look at me in distress as long as you like,” you let yourself chuckle a little bit, and even though it made spencer want to laugh too, he restrained himself and asked you what had troubled him for weeks now.

“(y/n), what’s going on? you’re not the same since garcia got the last morning note from you. seriously, I-I’m here to help you.”

dropping your pen, you swiveled your chair so you were in his direction and looked up at him to answer him. “in all honesty, and by no means full offense, I don’t think you care what’s going on with me.”

in his mind, reid was going nuts, and his silence? not helping very much. all he could do was look down at you with a shocked expression and his mouth opened and closed before he finally rebutted your statement.

“(y/n), I’m sorry I made it seem that way. I really am and the truth is I didn’t really care for your notes at first until I stopped receiving them.” he crouched down now to level with your height on the chair, a hand laying on his knee and the other on the ground for balance.

“I didn’t really care for a friend, until I realized I wanted your friendship. I never even thanked you for giving me the privilege of being ‘agent of the day.’”

you realized he meant it, and it wasn’t some cheesy reponse you were so used to getting. he felt it, and you began to realize you could also trust him even a little.

“thanks, reid. sorry for lashing out too, it’s just things haven’t been so easy back home. do you mind?”

“of course not. I’m all ears, (y/n).” you nodded and thanked him, standing up from your chair and kneeling down to ultimately sit down criss cross on the ground. he did the same as you, and his attention was fully yours.

you told him everything that had happened; the fights with your mom, your grandparents moving in, your lack of sleep and how you felt. you vented to him about almost everything in your life and he listened like his life depended on it. at the end, you were crying a little no matter how hard you tried not to. amidst everything, he had pulled you into an awkward sort of hug, considering your position and the fact he doesn't give much physical affection to people. nonetheless, he gave you the comfort you needed and you valued it.

he pulled away suddenly, and lifted himself off the ground a little to get his phone from his pocket. he asked you to get yours, and you did so by reaching over to the top of your desk. the both of you exchanged phones and he wrote his rather rapidly, you still trying to think about your own area code by the time he was finished.

you exchanged phones again, and when you grabbed yours from his hand, he held on to it as well. before he let go, he looked down at the ground and then landed on your hand on the phone.

“you can call me whenever you want. even if you don’t have a reason too.”

his eyes flicked up to your semi-red eyes, and he smiled softly. you did as well, and he felt small butterflies forming in his tummy when you did. spencer reid didn’t care for affection, nor for personal connections with anyone. but perhaps you were beginning to turn into the only exception.

and he didn't really mind it at all.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #matthew gray gubler #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #derek morgan #shemar moore #jennifer jareau #aj cook #penelope garcia #kirsten vangsness #emily prentiss #paget brewster #aaron hotchner #thomas gibson

439 notes · View notes

waveypedia · 4 years ago

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complete and utter chaos [ducktales group chat fic] - Chapter 4

Ao3 I Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

let kids be kids

6:55 am

ICanDeweyIt: WHAT IS UP GAYS AND GALS

TheWebbedWonder: hi :3

Junior-Woodchuck74: you couldn’t have waited five minutes

ICanDeweyIt: it’s the kids gc uncle donald won’t know

Junior-Woodchuck74: knowing him he’ll find a way

ICanDeweyIt: true

ICanDeweyIt: anyway what’s up

Junior-Woodchuck74: over half of us live in the same house as you and we’re all sleeping

TheWebbedWonder: im not

Junior-Woodchuck74: you should be

Junior-Woodchuck74: you stayed up until 3 on facetime with Lena

lenaonme: yes and

Junior-Woodchuck74: when you and Violet come over we’re going to have a talk about healthy sleep habits

lenaonme: you’ll never catch me, nerd!!

ICanDeweyIt: SHUSH huey im bored

Junior-Woodchuck74: I know

adefinitelyrealboy: do you like cat videos, Dewey?

green-sharpie: oh no

adefinitelyrealboy: Webby and I have been sending some back and forth to each other!!

TheWebbedWonder: Finally a fellow cat video enthusiast :3

green-sharpie: webby istg

ICanDeweyIt: oh YES

adefinitelyrealboy: yay!!

adefinitelyrealboy: I’ll send them right away <3

Family Group Chat!!!

7:01 am

mutant-krill!!!!: good morning everyone!!

ICanDeweyIt: good morning!!

Lucky-Gander: good morning!

Lucky-Gander: What’s the haps today

lenaonme: please never say that again

TheWebbedWonder: I WANNA GO CAMPING

TheWebbedWonder: WHO’S WITH ME

Junior-Woodchuck74: Webby, we just started planning a sleepover

Junior-Woodchuck74: and you’re allegedly planning an adventure?

TheWebbedWonder: I am :3

Violet-Sabrewing: please stop using that emoticon

TheWebbedWonder: :3 :3 :3

adefinitelyrealboy: oh!! That’s so cute!!

TheWebbedWonder: I know :3

UnoCaballero: maybe focus on one thing at a time, webs

TheWebbedWonder: ugh fine

Adventure-Pilot: do you need any help planning your adventure?

TheWebbedWonder: Ooh are you offering?

Adventure-Pilot: sure!

TheWebbedWonder: !!! I’d love that!!

Adventure-Pilot: 💖💖💖

Tea Time: Stop stealing my children.

TheWebbedWonder: aww Granny!!

TheWebbedWonder: It’s okay you can both be my parental figures 💖

TheWebbedWonder: I have lots of them!!

ICanDeweyIt: Webby’s winning in terms of parental figures tbh

Junior-Woodchuck74: true 😔😔

TheWebbedWonder: >:3

green-sharpie: stOP

TheWebbedWonder: no >:3

dr. mad scientist: thanks i hate it

Tea Time: Which one of you children taught him that

Blathering-Blatherskite: I feel déja vu

Lil’ Bulb: I did :3

green-sharpie: NOOOO THEY’RE MULTIPLYING

TheWebbedWonder: YES

TheWebbedWonder: EMBRACE IT

ICanDeweyIt: never

ICanDeweyIt: YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME

TheWebbedWonder: I CAN AND I WILL

green-sharpie: lol run

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey just got up and sprinted away

lenaonme: webby ended our call :(

ICanDeweyIt: you guys called AGAIN

lenaonme: yes and

UnoCaballero: is someone else joining our chat today?

DosCaballero: wym?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Well, Webby seems to add one person every single day

Blathering-Blatherskite: except for yesterday, when she added both of you!

DosCaballero: hah! we’re special!

DosCaballero: @TrêsCaballero get over here we’re being special

TrêsCaballero: Did someone say special?

TrêsCaballero: Because I am very special! ✨

Junior-Woodchuck74: btw Tío José most people use that emoji ironically now

TrêsCaballero: Oh? Well I suppose they just couldn’t handle the sheer power of me! ✨

lenaonme: heck yeah reinvent the world break those stereotypes

lenaonme: @UnoCaballero stop editing my texts

TrêsCaballero: I will!

TrêsCaballero: the sparkles emoji was invented specifically for me

DosCaballero: oh absolutely

UnoCaballero: stop swearing then

lenaonme: ur not my dad

UnoCaballero: but I am your uncle

lenaonme: skdfghgfds

lenaonme: ok

Junior-Woodchuck74: @Blathering-Blatherskite answer my DM

Scrooge-McDuck: don’t distract my employees at work lad

Blathering-Blatherskite: sorry I was getting something for webby

Scrooge-McDuck: you are working

Blathering-Blatherskite: yes that

dr. mad scientist: hey DUMMY

dr. mad scientist: get over here and work on this chart

Blathering-Blatherskite: why are you texting the mega group chat we're literally in the same room

Scrooge-McDuck: see laddie? work. work that needs to be done

Scrooge-McDuck: I’m not paying them to waste time on their phones, you hear?

ihaveahead!!!: i’m not sure if this is meant for huey or for us

Lil’ Bulb: probably both

Scrooge-McDuck: it’s both

ihaveahead!!!: that checks out

TheWebbedWonder added M.A.M.A.

Blathering-Blatherskite: M’MA!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: oh hello Ms. Cabrera!!

M.A.M.A.: hello!!

Scrooge-McDuck: oh no my employee productivity!!

adefinitelyrealboy: Hello! I’m Boyd, a definitely real boy!

M.A.M.A.: um, alright.

M.A.M.A.: nice to meet you, Boyd!

adefinitelyrealboy: my name is an acronym just like yours!

M.A.M.A.: Oh really? What does your name stand for?

adefinitelyrealboy: Be Only Yourself Dude!

M.A.M.A.: Well that’s certainly wholesome.

adefinitelyrealboy: thanks! I picked it out myself!

adefinitelyrealboy: what does your name stand for?

M.A.M.A.: María Antonia Magdalena Aldonsa. It’s my name!

TheCrashiestCrash: neat!!

Scrooge-McDuck: welcome Ms. Cabrera, now my employees need to get back to work

UnoCaballero: ok lol

Scrooge-McDuck: what does that mean?

Scrooge-McDuck: Donald, what does that mean???

UnoCaballero: have fun~

Scrooge-McDuck: DONALD FAULTEROY DUCK

dr. mad scientist: HAHAHAHAHAHA your middle name is faulteroy???

Adventure-Pilot: dude your name is literally gyro you don’t have much of a leg here to stand on

dr. mad scientist: neither do you, DUMBELLA.

moonlander-general: HAHAHAHAHA is that really your full name??

Adventure-Pilot: shut up shut up

dr. mad scientist: that’s what you get

Blathering-Blatherskite: Gyro got banned from Starducks because he cursed out employees who thought his name was an allusion to the sandwich

dr. mad scientist: it’s not MY fault they can’t see the brilliance in a perfectly good name!!

dr. mad scientist: i picked it out myself!!

green-sharpie: oh, so it’s perfect in every way

dr. mad scientist: yes!!!

dr. mad scientist: wait was that sarcasm

dr. mad scientist: if that was sarcasm you will rue the day!!!

Scrooge-McDuck: Gyro, what did we say about threatening children?

dr. mad scientist: not to.

Scrooge-McDuck: good!!

Scrooge-McDuck: now get back to work

DosCaballero: you really have a one-track mind huh

Scrooge-McDuck: HEY

Lucky-Gander: he does care a lot about money

wreathedingold: ugh it’s the opposite

wreathedingold: he doesn’t care enough about money

Scrooge-McDuck: come now Goldie

Scrooge-McDuck: i put my family above my money and i’m not shy about it

Tea Time: as you should.

Scrooge-McDuck: thank you, Bentina.

Teach Penny and Mom Pokémon Group Chat!!!!

11:22 am

ICanDeweyIt: ok what’s your favorite pokemon

ICanDeweyIt: this is for science

Junior-Woodchuck74: did you finally escape from webby

ICanDeweyIt: shhh i’m hiding

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: not for long

ICanDeweyIt: nO

ICanDeweyIt: anyway

ICanDeweyIt: i’ll go first

wildlymisunderstood: i don’t like pokemon

TotallyNotGizmoduck: LIES

ICanDeweyIt: NO

ICanDeweyIt: i can’t believe you’d do this to me gyro

wildlymisunderstood: dr. gearloose

ICanDeweyIt: treason

ICanDeweyIt: treason of the highest caliber

ICanDeweyIt: this calls for… public execution!!!

wildlymisunderstood: lol no

aw-phooey: dewey…

ICanDeweyIt: anyway i like keldeo and jigglypuff

lenaonme: >:o neither of them are even blue

ICanDeweyIt: part of them are!!!

lenaonme: who are you and what have you done with dewey

ICanDeweyIt: shut UP

green-sharpie: anyway i like snorlax

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: leaked louie fact: he would snuggle with a snorlax

aw-phooey: confirmed

green-sharpie: whaaaaat they look vv cozy

green-sharpie: tell me you wouldn’t

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: okay fair

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i’m writing down “snorlax plushie” as a gift idea!!

green-sharpie: OOOOOH 👀

green-sharpie: WEBS YOU’RE THE BEST

green-sharpie: the rest of you need to step up

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: 🥰🥰

green-sharpie: hey you know what i also like

green-sharpie: meowth

green-sharpie: meowth plushie go

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: i’ll put it on the list!

aw-phooey: louie

universesgreatestadventurer: louie

Junior-Woodchuck74: louie c’mon

green-sharpie: ugh fine

ICanDeweyIt: webby go

green-sharpie: you’re just trying to distract her aren’t you

ICanDeweyIt: yes and

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: fairy types!

wildlymisunderstood: of course

aw-phooey: i like Gyarados!

Lucky-Gander: as you should

moonlander-general: that sounds like Gyro’s name

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: ooh yeah it does!

wildlymisunderstood: I suppose Gyarados is deserving of my name

universesgreatestadventurer: oh my god-

wildlymisunderstood: della shut up

universesgreatestadventurer: hey

aw-phooey: hey

wildlymisunderstood: any pokemon would be better anyway though

aw-phooey: no they’re not

wildlymisunderstood: incorrect

TotallyNotGizmoduck: hey don’t fight!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: uhh

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl changed green-sharpie’s name to Snorlax’s Cuddle Buddy

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: tell me i’m wrong

wildlymisunderstood: you’re wrong

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: shut up you don’t actually think that you just wanted the chance to tell me off

wildlymisunderstood: truth

Snorlax’s Cuddle Buddy: okay valid

Snorlax’s Cuddle Buddy: but how does that solve anything

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: idk

ICanDeweyIt: mom wbu?

worldsgreatestadventurer: my team consists of a growlithe, a lucario, a garchomp, a zorua, and a sneezel!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: oooh very concise i like it

worldsgreatestadventurer: thank you, dear!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: 🥰🥰 skdfdksl;df

ICanDeweyIt: cool cool cool

ICanDeweyIt: writing that down thank you

worldsgreatestadventurer: should i be worried?

aw-phooey: nah

PM between TotallyNotGizmoduck and lenaonme

2:44 pm

lenaonme: yo

TotallyNotGizmoduck: hi, Lena.

lenaonme: so

lenaonme: huey yelled at me

TotallyNotGizmoduck: haha sorry

lenaonme: geez don’t apologize when i’m trying to apologize lmao

TotallyNotGizmoduck: oh! Uh.. i’m not sorry?

lenaonme: that works i guess

lenaonme: anyway it was supposed to be just light teasing i’m sorry for being mean

TotallyNotGizmoduck: it’s okay

lenaonme: you don’t have to say that

TotallyNotGizmoduck: it is though!

lenaonme: okay thanks

lenaonme: and please for the love of all things magic change your name

TotallyNotGizmoduck: one day

lenaonme: but really

lenaonme: i am sorry

TotallyNotGizmoduck: well… I hereby accept your apology!

lenaonme: kjsdfhgjfkdls

lenaonme: thanks

TotallyNotGizmoduck: anytime

2:53 pm

TotallyNotGizmoduck: oh and Lena?

lenaonme: yeah?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I know we don’t really talk but I still care about you

lenaonme: huh

lenaonme: thanks

lenaonme: i really am sorry

TotallyNotGizmoduck: it’s okay

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’m here if you need me

lenaonme: thanks

lenaonme: I might take you up on that one day

Family Group Chat!!!!

3:34 pm

UnoCaballero: is everyone okay?

UnoCaballero: sound off

green-sharpie: yep

Scrooge-McDuck: here

Blathering-Blatherskite: yeah, what’s going on?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Mom and Webby unleashed a portal to the boiling isles during their adventure research

Blathering-Blatherskite: oh shoot, do you need Gizmoduck’s help?

Blathering-Blatherskite: cause I can call him. Yeah. i have him on speed dial

Blathering-Blatherskite: cause so many of Gyro’s inventions go haywire!

Lil’ Bulb: oh my god

dr. mad scientist: not evil.

Blathering-Blatherskite: that’s not what I said.

dr. mad scientist: just wildly misunderstood.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Fenton…

TheCrashiestCrash: I think we’re good! Thanks!

Blathering-Blatherskite: No problem!

TheWebbedWonder: yeah but it was fun! And I’m a lot closer to figuring out our adventure!

TheWebbedWonder: thanks!

Adventure-Pilot: anytime sweetie!

dr. mad scientist: your family is ridiculous

wreathedingold: seconded

Lucky-Gander: agreed

Adventure-Pilot: aw, you love us

lenaonme: you guys realize you’re all part of the family right

Violet-Sabrewing: the group chat is called “Family Group Chat”

TheWebbedWonder: don’t forget the exclamation points!!

Violet-Sabrewing: of course.

TheCrashiestCrash: Dewey and I are still wrangling the last of those demons, mr. d!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: then why are you texting?!

Junior-Woodchuck74: hang on, i’m coming over.

TheWebbedWonder: me too! woohoo, more demons to fight!!

lenaonme: oooh i’m coming over!!

Indy_Sabrewing: maybe not…

lenaonme: oh come on

lenaonme: we face way worse all the time!!

purpleisforthegays: oh that’s true…

Violet-Sabrewing: I’ve already packed by nunchucks.

purpleisforthegays: oh you girls are going to give me a heart attack one day.

Indy_Sabrewing: don’t worry honey, I’ve already doubled our vacation fund budget. I just had to take some away from the Junior Woodchucks donations.

Junior-Woodchuck74: aw man

lenaonme: 😔👊

Violet-Sabrewing: It do be like that.

green-sharpie: [screenshot-my-longest-yeah-boi-ever.png]

Indy_Sabrewing: Lena, you’re corrupting her.

lenaonme: as i should.

Tea Time: we all do need a vacation one of these days.

ICanDeweyIt: ooooooh

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey! More fighting, less texting!

ICanDeweyIt: I can multitask!

Junior-Woodchuck74: no you can’t!

Junior-Woodchuck74: studies have shown that multitasking is, on a nanosecond level, virtually impossible

ICanDeweyIt: well, impossible is just another kind of possible!

Junior-Woodchuck74: no it’s not.

ihaveahead!!!: why are you guys texting each other in the main group chat when you live in the same house?

ICanDeweyIt: because we can.

Junior-Woodchuck74: because he’s ignoring me and I can’t hear much over these demons

Lucky-Gander: checks out.

TheCrashiestCrash: we’re all good here!

Scrooge-McDuck: I think that’s the last of them.

mutant-krill!!!!: can you possibly save any specimens for me to study when I arrive in Duckburg?

green-sharpie: webby has ten.

Junior-Woodchuck74: i think Mom has a couple too.

Adventure-Pilot: sure do! and I’d be happy to share!

mutant-krill!!!!: great, thanks!

Blathering-Blatherskite: wait, are you coming to Duckburg?

dr. mad scientist: oh blathering blatherskite not again

Lil’ Bulb: be nice.

mutant-krill!!!!: based on the star and naval patterns I’ve been tracking, Mitzy, Gladstone, and I should be arriving in Duckburg in a couple days!

Junior-Woodchuck74: why didn’t you tell us in advance? We have to prepare!

mutant-krill!!!!: sorry little donald! But this is in advance!

Junior-Woodchuck74: okay fair

ghostbutler: @Tea Time

Tea Time: What

ghostbutler: the house is disgraceful

Tea Time: You bail every time a fight breaks out!

ghostbutler: one of the perks of the afterlife

Tea Time: ugh, you are insufferable.

Scrooge-McDuck: Duckworth was there! He and I fought together!

ICanDeweyIt: can confirm; i stuck my hand through him again!!!

ghostbutler: every time you do that i want to die and i’m already dead.

Tea Time: You saw me fighting twenty demons and bailed immediately.

ghostbutler: it’s a compliment! I figured you could take care of yourself!

ghostbutler: was I wrong?

Tea Time: no.

ghostbutler: perfect! And you still need to clean the house.

wreathedingold: I sense petty drama that somehow I did not cause.

wreathedingold: the world is unbalanced.

Scrooge-McDuck: oh don’t worry, you’ve caused plenty more than your share of petty drama

wreathedingold: oh Scroogey, you flatterer!

dr. mad scientist: i will never understand their romance.

M.A.M.A.: You and me both, and I’ve only been here for a couple of hours!

Blathering-Blatherskite: hey, you two finally agreed on something!

dr. mad scientist: you take that back!

Junior-Woodchuck74: just going to point out that we literally finished fighting five minutes ago and there’s already another fight

green-sharpie: what did you expect from this family?

Junior-Woodchuck74: okay fair

TheWebbedWonder: I’d like to think we’re pretty good

TheWebbedWonder: especially compared to like the Beagle Boys and Mark Beaks and his mom

dr. mad scientist: HA that’s what he deserves

dr. mad scientist: mark beaks? how about no

ihaveahead!!!: we do not stan

dr. mad scientist: thank you

dr. mad scientist: me seeing mark beaks' name: wish i was jared, nineteen

green-sharpie: KHGFDFGHKLKHGFDSDFGH

Violet-Sabrewing: Don’t be mean

dr. mad scientist: i will not be lectured by a child!

M.A.M.A.: (or anyone)

dr. mad scientist: you say that like it’s an insult but it’s true

ihaveahead!!!: but you’re insulted, aren’t you?

dr. mad scientist: shut up.

TheWebbedWonder: hey Violet’s very knowledgeable!!

Violet-Sabrewing: thank you Webbigail!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: It’s interesting; both of those dysfunctional family dynamics are caused by power abuses and imbalances and lack of communication

Junior-Woodchuck74: both of them have gone far beyond that, but that’s the root of the problem

purpleisforthegays: interesting!

DosCaballero: forgive me, but who are these people again?

dr. mad scientist: god i wish that were me

moonlander-general: villainous fiends!!

DosCaballero: oh okay

DosCaballero: @TrêsCaballero time to fight! The Three Caballeros ride again!

TrêsCaballero: the Three Caballeros ride again!

UnoCaballero: The Three Caballeros ride again!

moonlander-general: Are you three going to say that every time you do something together?

Scrooge-McDuck: You get used to it lassie

Scrooge-McDuck: What you DON’T get used to is three freeloaders mooching off your house and food!!

UnoCaballero: haha bye Uncle Scrooge! Villanious villains to fight!!

Adventure-Pilot: Ooh, fights? Where?

UnoCaballero: not for u lol

Adventure-Pilot: HEY!!

M.A.M.A.: Should I be worried you’re all so eager to be violent or-

dr. mad scientist: you’ve punched me multiple times

M.A.M.A.: you deserved it

M.A.M.A.: And I’ll do it again

dr. mad scientist: noted

Scrooge-McDuck: please don’t incapitate my employee when he should be working

M.A.M.A.: So i’ll do it when he’s off the clock, got it!

dr. mad scientist: hey!!

Lil’ Bulb: he’s always working anyway

dr. mad scientist: true

Scrooge-McDuck: that’s right! You need to work less, lad. I don’t want the unions telling me to pay you overtime

dr. mad scientist: so I can get punched?

Violet-Sabrewing: only if you deserve it

dr. mad scientist: very encouraging, thank you /s

M.A.M.A.: you always deserve it

dr. mad scientist: there we go

TheCrashiestCrash: hey don’t worry Dr. G!! I think you’re a nice person!!

dr. mad scientist: that is factually incorrect but thank you

Blathering-Blatherskite: okay okay let’s all calm down

M.A.M.A.: just say the word, pollito, and I’ll punch his face in

Blathering-Blatherskite: that’s the opposite of what I was going for but thank you M’ma

TheWebbedWonder: YES VIOLENCE!!!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Webby no

TheWebbedWonder: I do think Fenton’s right though! Some problems are better solved with love and compassion

TheWebbedWonder: no matter how much I like punching things!!

Tea Time: that’s my granddaughter!

Scrooge-McDuck: atta girl!!

TheWebbedWonder: aww thank you 💖💖

adefinitelyrealboy: I agree! Talking and understanding can solve a lot of problems!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: statistically, a lot of problems are caused by simple miscommunication!

DosCaballero: especially in sitcoms and the like!

green-sharpie: it’s funny tho

purpleisforthegays: no, it’s just hard to watch

lenaonme: the secondhand embarrassment is real

Violet-Sabrewing: sometimes it’s done well, but that’s fairly rare. Of course that’s all an opinion.

TheCrashiestCrash: you gotta be careful to explain yourself before the problems get big!

Adventure-Pilot: that’s pretty insightful!!

PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and TotallyNotGizmoduck

4:53 pm

Junior-Woodchuck74: Did you see the news?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: no I’m on the clock

TotallyNotGizmoduck: what happened? Is Gizmoduck needed?

Junior-Woodchuck74: I’m not sure

Junior-Woodchuck74: But there was another supposed PK sighting

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Interesting

TotallyNotGizmoduck: That’s the third time this week, and the seventh time this month

Junior-Woodchuck74: Some of them are definitely fake

Junior-Woodchuck74: But this one looks pretty real

Junior-Woodchuck74: If it’s faked they did a pretty good job

TotallyNotGizmoduck: my legal shift ends in forty minutes and Mr. McDuck will be displeased if I stay behind, but as long as I don’t mention overtime it should be fine

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Gyro does it all the time

Junior-Woodchuck74: Don’t take an example from Dr. Gearloose’s sleep schedule

TotallyNotGizmoduck: It is very unhealthy

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I’ve pulled my fair share of all-nighters working on projects, thought

Junior-Woodchuck74: That’s not the same though

Junior-Woodchuck74: I swear that man never sleeps

TotallyNotGizmoduck: He does

TotallyNotGizmoduck: at his desk

TotallyNotGizmoduck: for a couple minutes

TotallyNotGizmoduck: When Manny and I hide the coffee

Junior-Woodchuck74: of course

Junior-Woodchuck74: Well, thanks Fenton! Talk tomorrow?

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Of course

PM between Junior-Woodchuck74 and lenaonme

7:31 pm

lenaonme: so

lenaonme: i talked to fenton today

Junior-Woodchuck74: How did it go?

lenaonme: good, i think

Junior-Woodchuck74: That’s great!

lenaonme: he’s too nice for his own good

Junior-Woodchuck74: Well, you say the same thing about Webby, so I know that’s a compliment!

lenaonme: oh shut up

Junior-Woodchuck74: You know I’m right

Junior-Woodchuck74: anyway I think you guys will be friends!!

lenaonme: i think so too

Junior-Woodchuck74: Lena

Junior-Woodchuck74: You have no idea how happy that makes me

lenaonme: that’s what i’m going for

Junior-Woodchuck74: aww you softie

lenaonme: don’t tell anyone i have a reputation

Junior-Woodchuck74: I think you already ruined that one sorry Lena

Junior-Woodchuck74: we all see how you act around the Sabrewings and Webby

lenaonme: fair

PM between Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl and worldsgreatestadventurer

7:51 pm

worldsgreatestadventurer: did you get everything you needed?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yeah I got the amulet!

worldsgreatestadventurer: perfect!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I almost have the entire adventure mapped out

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl we just need the key from the goblin realm!

worldsgreatestadventurer: you didn’t get that from the Demon Monarch?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: they got thrown in goblin jail for a diplomatic miscommunication a few years back and lost it

worldsgreatestadventurer: well that’s fine! more adventure for us, then!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: woo-oo!!

worldsgreatestadventurer: so, how do we get to the goblin realm?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I got the incantation we need to open a portal from the Demon Monarch!

worldsgreatestadventurer: perfect! Do you want to invite Lena and Violet over?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: do you even need to ask?

worldsgreatestadventurer: I guess not!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Violet and Lena are my supernatural summoning buddies! The boys just don’t have the same penchant for it as we do :(

worldsgreatestadventurer: ngl i think Louie got traumatized by one of your summonings

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yeah, we try to do it when he’s out of the house now

worldsgreatestadventurer: good to hear

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: other than that, I finished the map of the rock course based on the testimony we got from that weird flesh creature from the other dimension!

worldsgreatestadventurer: haha yeah… that was weird…

worldsgreatestadventurer: let’s not think about that!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: fine by me!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Do you want to play Death Soccer Obstacle Course with Dewey and I?

worldsgreatestadventurer: do I!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: meet you in the backyard!

worldsgreatestadventurer: I’ll be there!

Family Group Chat!!

8:34 pm

Junior-Woodchuck74: So.

Lucky-Gander: oh no

Blathering-Blatherskite: This can’t be good

DosCaballero: Donal’ used to do the same thing when he was mad!

UnoCaballero: I still do

UnoCaballero: and I am mad

TrêsCaballero: oh no

mutant-krill!!!!: what happened, little donald?

Junior-Woodchuck74: Dewey’s in the ER

M.A.M.A.: what? What happened? Do I need to arrest someone?!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Is there an evildoer on the loose?!

adefinitelyrealboy: oh no!! I hope he’s okay!!

TheCrashiestCrash: wait!! Dewey’s injured??

Tea Time: Launchpad you drove him there!!

TheCrashiestCrash: oh yeah!!

Lucky-Gander: ?

Tea Time: Dewey has a broken leg, but he’ll be fine

Junior-Woodchuck74: He was playing soccer on Webby’s obstacle course and jumped out of one of the third story windows

ihaveahead!!!: oh dear

ICanDeweyIt: it’s called death soccer obstacle course, dear hubert

dr. mad scientist: well I can see where the death part comes in

ghostbutler: In reality a broken leg is fairly tame compared to death

lenaonme: oh true

Violet-Sabrewing: you both would know

Indy_Sabrewing: Hey, be nice. Dewey just broke his leg.

TheWebbedWonder: there’s lots of death! Dewey’s just good enough to escape with only a broken leg!!

dr. mad scientist: jeez you are all crazy

lenaonme: so are you lol

ihaveahead!!!: you have no moral high ground here

Junior-Woodchuck74: Lena, what did we talk about?

lenaonme: bruh

lenaonme: sorry

ICanDeweyIt: nah ur good

dr. mad scientist: eh it’s true

dr. mad scientist: i’m a scientist i don’t hide from the truth

ihaveahead!!!: …

Lil’ Bulb: are you sure about that

dr. mad scientist: shut UP

dr. mad scientist: you will be silent or i will make you

ihaveahead!!!: oooh i’m so scared

wreathedingold: ooh secrets!

green-sharpie: i am looking

dr. mad scientist: oh blathering blatherskite

ICanDeweyIt: hey this is about me remember?

Junior-Woodchuck74: dewey oh my god

green-sharpie: ok i won’t go with you to the hospital then

green-sharpie: i’ll sit on the couch and watch ottoman empire

ICanDeweyIt: you won’t you love me too much

ICanDeweyIt: right? Louie?

ICanDeweyIt: LOUIE???

ICanDeweyIt: quick everyone help me spam his pms

dr. mad scientist: i have better things to be doing

lenaonme: i spam his pms daily it won’t make a difference

ICanDeweyIt: yall are the worst 💔💔

UnoCaballero: so no one’s going to mention that that’s just not nice

UnoCaballero: ok

Adventure-Pilot: you’re just salty that I spam your pms daily

Adventure-Pilot: kids did i do it right? Did i use the slang???

TheWebbedWonder: yes good job!!

lenaonme: congrats

Junior-Woodchuck74: good job mom!!

Adventure-Pilot: heck yeah!!

green-sharpie: shut UP i'm coming

ICanDeweyIt: I knew you couldn't resist the Dewey charm!!

green-sharpie: oh trust me, it's very easy

green-sharpie: it's harder to not resist it

ICanDeweyIt: but you do, because you loooooveeee meeeeee

green-sharpie: ...fine

ICanDeweyIt: 😌👊

Junior-Woodchuck74: DEWEY GET OFF YOUR PHONE YOU'RE ABOUT TO GO IN

PM between 22 and ghostbutler

11:25 pm

22: bitch

ghostbutler: How crass, Bentina. It fits you.

22: bitch

ghostbutler: blocked

22: unblock me

ghostbutler: yes?

22: bitch

names (as of the end of the story)

Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74 Dewey: ICanDeweyIt Louie: Lou / green-sharpie* Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl* Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot Beakley: 22 Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash Lena: lenaonme Violet: Violet-Sabrewing Duckworth: ghostbutler Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite Manny: ihaveahead!!! Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb Gladstone: Lucky-Gander Fethry: mutant-krill!!!! Indy: Indy_Sabrewing Ty: purpleisforthegays Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold Penny: moonlander-general

*main

*kicks down door* WE'RE BACK BAYBEE!!!!

I'm really sorry about the wait. I didn't intend for it to be this long. I did have a suspicion I might need more time, especially since the day I was originally supposed to post this was the first day of school and just before that I had just pounded out a pretty major piece of writing in two days, so I was a bit burned out. But I've had low motivation because of school, and I've also been working on a pretty big project - I'm writing the script for a fangan comic on instagram (cerealronpa)! (it was pretty fun working on this story and that at the same time because they have COMPLETELY different moods haha.) It won't be out for a while yet and the premise is pretty different from my usual stuff, but I highly encourage you to check it out when it comes out.

anyway between Cerealronpa and school I definitely have less time and motivation than before, so I might push this back to updating every two weeks instead of weekly, sorry about that. I'm not entirely sure if I'll be able to even stick to that, given how long it took me to get this one out, but I'll do my best! it's a little better now that I've settled into a routine anyway.

for the life of me I could not figure out a good username for Officer Cabrera when I was planning this, so I think the wait turned out well because of Frank's ask! I was writing her introduction and trying to think up one on the fly when I was like oH WAIT- djsdfgfd

a very very big thank you to everyone who replied to my tumblr post or discord message(s) about what pokemon the ducktales characters would have! if you responded to this fic offering to help me with pokemon I haven't forgotten that it's just talking to new people is scary so I chickened out this time sjdfgfdfghgfd i'll get you sometime! But for now this is good. I tried to include every pokemon people gave me so I hope it makes sense! Also a thank you to my friend Moon, who's a very big Pokemon fan but not a Ducktales fan, and who did her best to help me. She won't see this but she deserves a shoutout anyway.

Della and Webby's dynamic is one of my favorites so expect more of it!! I was surprised to realize I hadn't written an PM of them yet so here we go!! There'll definitely be more of it in the future.

also there are lowkey Weblena hints in this one if you squint since I just kind of vibed with it while I was writing, but if Weblena's not your cup of tea don't worry. I love me some good Weblena any day, but the focus of this fic has and always will be family and character dynamics. I'm not sure how it'll play out but I love Webby and Lena's dynamic, romantic or platonic, so just a heads up!

don't pull all-nighters like Gyro unless you really need to, kids. get some sleep, it's good for you!

there's a very small tdp reference and a lot3c reference in here and i'm really curious if anyone will catch them 👀

there's also a very small line that's me just like Gyro trans? Gyro trans. Anyway you can pry trans Gyro out of my cold dead hands please and thank you

I think the "Gyro got banned from Starducks" thing is from a very very old discussion (like 2 years ago dsddfgjaksld) I think it might've been @fangirl530 who brought it up? unsure. but it pops up in my head every now and then and i love it so much

I hope you enjoyed and I'll do my best to update again soon!! Your support, especially comments, but even just the hit count, means the world to me. It makes me really happy to hear people are enjoying this story!! I'm so happy it's as fun for you to read as it is for me to write.

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dt17 #ducktales fanfiction #wavey writes #my fanfic #officer cabrera #huey duck #dewey duck #webby vanderquack #della duck #donald duck #gyro gearloose #louie duck #scrooge mcduck

55 notes · View notes

kimoralov3 · 4 years ago

Text

New mutants commentary

This is your spoiler warning, you going beyond here is no one's fault but your own

I don't trust this bitch

This blonde bitch gotta go

Dont trust her theres probably a force field

I was right

This bitch needs some serious mental help

So her mutation is teleportation? Alright cool

Is the wolf Rahne (is that how you spell it?)

Girl dont jump its not worth it

I love Rahne already

I don't think your daddy dead girl

Do their necklaces have like some type of tracker or like monitor or something

So he's like a rocket

Why are they the only ones here? Suspicious

"Cured" See this is why Erik was right

"For our own good" I CALL BULLSHIT

Something ain't right

Beast you destroy Dani home?

The hell

Sam don't go look you might die

???

Is this like what Wanda did in AOU? Living your worst fear

Sam I told you you was gonna get hurt

This bitch suspicious

Who did that to you? I'll murder them

Sam I think you might need a therapist babe

Why he just hit himself

Bitch say control one mo time, istg

What show they watching

This bitch being racist again

Huh? I thought this bitch could just teleport

And why you such a suspicious mutant Dr.?

Dani aint do anything wrong, it was the blonde bitch

THE FUCK WAS THAT

Does she have like... radiation powers or something? I'm confused

Is it actually an Inhuman or is there just no name for that creature

*cough* Alex and Scott Summers

Who's in the other side of the confession booth

They're besties, obviously 🙄

Girl that ain't sinning

Who the fuck was that

What is going on with this place

This bitch being pissy about an attic

You know who she reminds me of? A mix between Allison D and Season 1 Cheryl Blossom

Baby there's nothing wrong with you

Can I strangle this bitch

Thats a beautiful story

Awwe Rahne was crying

Oh. 18. Cool

THEY GOT CAMERAS IN THE ATTIC TOO? DAMN

This feels kinda gaslighty

Who is the superior anyway

Yeah I promise you its not Charles

The Avengers don't get paid so I highly dobut that the X-Men do

His powers flared and he killed everyone :(

Sir you gotta open up eventually

Yall laying on these people graves

Nowww kiss

Why his colar always popped

This seems very gay

YES THEY KISSED

THEY FINALLY ADMITTING THAT THERES GAY PEOPLE IN THE XMEN UNIVERSE

I love this

Ew straight people

Ooh are his powers heat related? Like Johnny

Oh shit he killed his girlfriend

???

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT

THATS A FUCKING DEMON

YALL BETTER HURRY UP AND SAVE BERTO

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

Istg i hate this bitch

"I've been at the mercy of men just following orders."

Giving very much so Dollhouse from PLL

Didn't you tell her earlier that it was just a tornado

I knew something wasn't right

This place is haunted

YALL BETTER NOT TOUCH MY BABY RAHNE I SWEAR I WILL KICK YOUR ASSES

So theres just a bunch of boggarts running around

NP MY BABBYYYT

Illyana shut the fuck up

So is Dani's power like what happened in Apocalypse and Dark Phoenix? Like someone beinvg doomed to end the world

Demons ��

NUH UH YALL NOT KILLING DANI

Have we heard of Essex Corp before? I can't remember

Dani don't go in there

Oh Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'll watch that one day

Shes gonna try to kill you Dani

Can y'all stop showing us these things they creepy as hell

WHAT THE FUCK

She got the body bag ready and everything damn

WHERE ARE THESE THINGS COMING FROM

This dude got his headphones in

So he's like a volcano

imma have nightmares tonight I swear

Pfft she left yo ass

Oh her powers kinda cool

Yall all better find yalls files

First time I agreed with something you said Illyana

Who are these superiors you keep mentioning

They wanna put her down because she can stop them

NO I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HER POWER SO CAN SOMEOME PLEASE EXPLAIN IT

So she's a boggart

Perimeter breech?

OH SHIT

OH DAMN

Oooh the dragon is real

Good good good everyone face their fears about their powers

Well shit

Illyana just don't care 💀

If Rahne get hurt istg I'm murdering someone

I love how the subtitle for the bear is demon bear

Is Roberto another Human Torch because thats exactly what happened to Johnny in F4 😂

Stan got to produce this too 😊

#the new mutants #x men #xmen universe

6 notes · View notes

ajokeformur-ray · 4 years ago

Text

✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨

I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.

There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!!

Word count: 4, 597.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -

*Presses play*

OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~

Ugh that white shirt... 🥵

“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀

oh, honey, no.

Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.

sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl

wanna kiss that tear away...

CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*

jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood

you spin me right round, baby, right round...

ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺

someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~

that cello

Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~

sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...

what else will squirt tonight???👀

ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby boyyyy....

legit just cooed aloud

oh angel <3

“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”

it is my love... it is.

let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs

ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.

Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle

you deserve better, sweetheart.

my love, my life.

I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM

“who knows?”

yeah me too, my love. me too.

“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”

oh baby.

i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺

had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3

okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad

“‘cuse you bitch?”

the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg

GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere

those fucking steps

me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.

my love, my life

the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one

wanna rub cream on your bruises

“yeah, mum” so soft im cry

“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.

“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER

“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺

murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢

arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺

“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo

“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD

“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life

YOU SWEET THING

HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭

YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em

can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦🔥

“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT

arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo

randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE

you asswipe

arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended

“my boy” AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

THOSE CURLS

arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~

HOYYYYYYT

his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~

RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD

brewing insanity.....

POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS

RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE

those mf stairs again

it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...

never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT

lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule

Gigi is so CUTE 🥺

THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT

“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~

the moon is a silver dollar...

THOSE CURLS

THOSE BARE FEET

THAT SOFT VOICE

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~

espesh on ahs she’s a queen

but i digress lmao wrong fandom

“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”

FUCK OFF PENNY

FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE

slap that bass....

FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD

zoom zoom the world is in a mess

LMAO YEP

“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk

THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG

GET ITTTTTT

UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS

ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”

omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy

lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????

arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk

someone needs to teach you social interactions...

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE

that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all

lmao bad comediannnnnn

arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk

wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme

you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you

ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)

“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND

you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home

his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll

“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO

“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE

CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL

I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN

THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF

HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG

BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT

SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL

bestest party clownnnn

“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺

aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude

NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY

LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???

dudes 35 not a kid

throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross???

EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE

ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay

you wanna help but you dont know how

you sweet thing

send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~

IM CRYINGGGGG

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”

JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY

lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you

HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????

carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌

WHERES HIS CARDDDDD

nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you

i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you

gritting his teeth not taking in anymore

YES BABY GET EEEEEEM

YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU

first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it

no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE

KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS

GOOD BOYYYYYY

carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities

8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰

run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)

BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE

fuck me against that dirty counter

joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....

that cello though unffff 👌

got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~

and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)

my brain is 90% song lyrics

hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning

my sweet boy

my wonderful angel

my fallen angel

T POSEEEEE

DAYDREAM KISSSSS

ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours

please and thanks

so confident

so smooth

so sure

unf

take me angel im all yours

and my name is carnival

SASSY BOYYYYY

I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO

YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM

LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT

TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT

LMAOOO PUNCH OUT

BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG

HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH

OR HIS OWN LIMITS

“DONT SMILE”

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip

aka me every fuckin minute of my life

SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME

ILL CRY BUT DO IT

LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS

ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE

YOUUUUUUU

“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump

“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS

STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE

“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”

and

“you dont listen do you”

BOTH ARE MOODS

i feel them so hard

hes so sure of himself in this session

so angry and done and weary

“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED

that green jumper omggg

good luck getting me out of it pfffft

“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”

want it back???? payment is kissessss

EW SEXIST COMEDIAN

arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3

im so so proud of youuuuu

COLLARBONEEEEEES

OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG

I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes

just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3

every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches

CRYINGGGGG

oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself

you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft

lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur

WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE

givin me ideas....

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING

WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY

YOU’LL GET BY

SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW

SMILE

AND MAYBE TOMORROW

YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH

arthur is my sunshine

EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG

ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT

gonna put people off their food doin that

thats life

arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the -

erika.exe has stopped working

“come on dance with me”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i prefer the horizontal dance myself...

“big date”

“deliver the letter”

NARCISSISM

ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I -

and those eyes

ugh fuck meeee ~

yes thats an invitation

penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off

sorry i dont buy it

she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone

CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY

OMG

his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast

angry penguinnnnn

HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET

CUUUUUUUTE

the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional

in another life, arthur....

i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better

legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film

your magic tricks are gorgeous ~

you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids

you are the best party clown

I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS

like my server nameee ~

“hi” that soft noise 🥺

arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵

okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.

i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??

it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham

ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn

the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌

arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too

7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???

you gotta lie, angel.

you’re in way over your head but lie

yeeees good boy!!

“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!

NO ITS EXIT ONLY

KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU

he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing

you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses

TURN THE TV OFF

TURN IT OFF

TURN IT -

OH TOO LATE

arthurrrrr ~

its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking

fuck off murrat

FUCK OFF SOME MORE

oooooooh thats a danger face....

lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it

“kill the rich” lmao relatable

this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though

sleepy bb ~

“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy

flashes of joker comin throughhh...

sneaky baby...

quick on his feet, light on his sense...

tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)

THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW

he looks good in red

he looks good out of red too 👀👀

that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~

he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine

my love my life

you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears?

do you feel me like i feel you?

ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face

i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?

thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad

thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing

his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????

shitty dad award lmao

not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????

lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion

too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save

c’mon wifi, for me...

yes

arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭

oh baby its okay, deep breaths.

dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse

the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?

you sweet thing.

i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????

meds are wearing off now.....

darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go

*facepalm*

every time i watch this i hope it turns out different

it never does

arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file

that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you

but it wasnt enough

you needed love and support and help and guidance

and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break

the hand puppet omgggg ~

i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn

ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading

put it down.

this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking

ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand

his laughing is so much like sobbing here

omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out.

newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??

🤔

we love pathetic fallacy in this house

i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”

my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what

sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect

again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him

hes touching everything to experience it for the first time

he knows shes a daydream

hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms

we all do it

not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming

“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔

ohhh, darling.

istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at

finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me

but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??

poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him

again im not saying its okay im just saying

lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy

the sword forgets but the tree remembers

hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching

that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up

have some compassion dickwad

you never know what someones going through so be kind

always always be kind

^^^ film takeaway right there

if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under

OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂

in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable

that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????

OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red

“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡

us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂

THATS LIFEEEEE ~

the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???

CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS

DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM

THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀

scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers.

poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous

could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ???

he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore

“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀

“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO

OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES

this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit

do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do

I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE

BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT

LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂

“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~

okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise

loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT

gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious

OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM

LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER

JOKERJOKERJOKER

LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)

i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀

ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs

happy babyyyy ~

dancing towards what you believe to be your death

so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die

SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~

he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀

so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔

run baby run...

hes so agile and so quick on his feet

thinks fast too

arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop

you’re almost there, my love.

im so so proud of you

SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL

i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~

i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride

ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses

your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~

my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this

i so desperately want to be with you right now

“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“mm-hm” i love that little noise

“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE

“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

fuck ‘em, Joker.

You deserve better

GET

THAT

FUCKING

GUN

AWAY

FROM

YOUR

FACE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that pain in his eyes....

oh, darling. how did no one see you????

his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦

hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself

i love him i love him i love him i love him

smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act

hes never free

spinny baby

you spin me right round...

he suits the stage so well

lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...

never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡

he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....

wanna mess and smear it uuuuup

you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked

memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares

ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....

okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is

i just sHIVERED 🥵

“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE

ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????

“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS

SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU

hes speaking facts

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN

this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free

but hes not free... not really

“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work

im so fucking proud of you

“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....

LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND

hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????

i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???

he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him

YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE

IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM

UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG

GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE

I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF

ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL

ALIVE

his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~

“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS

AND SO ARE YOU

OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE

this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft

the birth of joker lmao

be careful with him please hes precious cargo

omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up

lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites

i wanna help Joker to get help and support

i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad

his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved

hes crying and hes in pain

blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts

he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it

my poor clown......

CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN

HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY

i wanna make him laugh like that

it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk

metaphorical or literal blood???

hes accepted who he is now.

hes free

dancing in the white light like an angel

i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

~ THE END ~

#erileck #self-shipping #lmao this was fun

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tellywoodtrash · 5 years ago

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khkt 30.09.19 lb

no net coz of weather issues so here, have the most basic of lbs, that i’m doing on my phone ka notes app.

(also didn’t watch the previous ep coz....... i just didn’t feel like it. i always kinda mentally check out when i know trouble is coming, to save me the pain.)

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i hate when ppl are all “don’t bring gifts!!!” fuck you, you don’t mean that shit. in the end we’ll be the ones looking rude af for taking you at your word.

lol at vimmi having freakout in bg.

NO DON’T SUGGEST A FUCKING RICE COOKER.

pooja no, do not aid and abet this nonsense.

seeeti???? rice cooker pe?????

“khoon ka badla khoon! JAI MATA DI!!!!”

lol raima had not accounted for the exponential increase in mumbai traffic in these 4 years.

god this idiot and his ring. what the fuckkkkkk is wrong with you, man?????? EVEN ARRANGED MARRIAGES TAKE LONGER THAN THIS TO GET FINALIZED.

“aaj ki raat meri aur tumhari zindagi ki sa se khoobsurat raat hogi.”

sooooooo it’s all downhill from here onwards? that’s........ disheartening.

pffffft sona putting a whole other colour of lip product on her lips which already have bhar bhar ke lip liner and lipstick.

CAN SOMEONE TELL US WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK HAPPENED TO HER 4 YEARS AGOOOOOOO????? AGLE JANAM TAK KHEENCHOGE KYA???

aaaaaah the sweet sound of suman screaming at pari. love it.

sona also fucking her up. noice.

raima, maybe take this as a sign that you’re not meant to go over there today????

lmao veena being ambushed by suman’s pyaar. haaaye kaash nishi hoti yahaan!

fitteh muh tera, pari. manhoos kahinki.

ajit is already taking all the bhaabi waala liberties with sona. i love it, give me more. pls show, sail this brotp ship of mine soonly.

i can never take bowties seriously. they look quite silly on anyone other than aziraphale and little boys below the age of 13.

ok slow mo dekhna muskuraana blah blah gimme the good stuff come on.

confidence ho rich upper-caste hindu mardon waala ho, warna na hi ho.

deepa chachi isn’t as excited as she usually is?

awwwww suman is already doing jamai raja’s taang khichaai.

once all this raita is sametofied (probably in mid-2020), i’ll need them to build a formidable alliance that kicks the ass of anyone who looks at sona wrong.

lmaooooooooo “jai mata di!”

ugh lo aa gaya i was hoping he wouldn’t be here.

tanya’s not here???? uh ohhhhhhhh.

oh wait, i guess pari’s mad coz of ego hurt rohan did on phone, eh? toh shaayad utna danger nahi hai. but who can tell with these horny fucks?

deepa chachi’s hawk like nazarrrr on these shady fucks. good good good.

unf never did i know elbow grabbing could be this saaaaksy.

UGH KEEP THIS SHADY MOM OF YK’S AWAY FROM SUMAN SO HELP ME GOOD!!!!!!!!!!

oh noooooooooooo they’re forming a passive aggressive alliance of sorts and it’s being overheard by naren. oh god make it stop.

OH FUCK IS RAIMA HERE ALREADY?!!?!?

oh it’s Irritating Bengali Mom. got here ahead of schedule. aunty thoda wait kijiye, aa jayegi. aur kahaan jayegi?

pooja, bless your heart, but there’s really no need to try and make nice with this bitch.

COME ON ROHAN, AT LEAST YEH DEKH KAR TUMHARI THARAK KAM HONI CHAHIYE. SHE’S A NASTY PIECE OF WORK WHO WAS RUDE TO YOUR SISTER!!!!!!!!!!! AT LEAST BE A GOOD BROTHER, IF YOU CAN’T BE A GOOD HUSBAND!

raima, i know you woke up from a coma and are a little addled, but will you just get into any random car that stops and asks if they can help?????? like, things weren’t soooooooooo different 4 years ago ki you’ve forgotten how to live in this country.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDD THE WHISKEY GLASS DKLFJLSDJFLKD I KNOW WHO IT IS AND RAIMA GIRL, OF ALL THE CARS IN THE CITY, THIS ONE?!!?!??!

why focusing on the brand name which is blurred out???? nonsense.

GOD PLEASE STOP MAKING THIS AWKWARD CONVO ON HOW MUCH THINGS COST WHY ARE Y’ALL SO CRASSSSS

“paisa sab kuch nahi hota” - that can only be said by someone who has a lot of it and has never wanted for it. fuck off naren.

OH GOD DON’T BE A RICE COOKER PLEASE DON’T BE A RICE COOKER

bless veena’s heart for being delighted at this also.

fuck you rohitttttttttttttttt you snarky lil shit!!!!!!!!!

OH THANK GOD. SONA HAS SENSE.

TAI TAI PHISSSSSSSSSS, DR. SURGEON.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS ROHAN KO BHI AKAL AA GAYI THANK YOU JHULE LAAL!!!!!!!!!!

lol did suman not know that pari had the assignment before this????

ASKLFJSLDFJKDSLFKJLDSKJFLDSJ SUMIT WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?

ABBE IS BECHAARI ADH-MARI KO TOH CHOD. USPE BHI LINE MAAR RAHA HAI?!!?!?!?

LMAO DID HE JUSTTTTTTT NOTICE THAT SHE HAS A BREATHING TUBE AND A WHOLEASS OXYGEN CANISTER?!!?!?

if i was raima i’d be like put me back in the damn coma, at least i didn’t have to deal with creepy fucks like these then.

OMFG AKASH CHACHU’S SHIRT. I LOVE IT.

god rohit why must you recreate the absolute worst parts of DDLJ?!!?!? THERE ARE SO MANY CUTE SCENES *COUGH* THE ALMOST KISS *COUGH COUGH*

WHAT IS WITH THE TERRRRRRRIBLE MUSIC DURING THESE SCENES MAN?!!?

aslfkjsdfklsdjflj rohit you are so bad at this COULDN’T YOU HAVE COME UP WITH A BETTER EXCUSE?!!?

lol deepa/ajit: the cuteass team-up i never knew i neededddd.

will women ever stop looking sexy af in large oversized shirts? NOPE.

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO DR. SURGEON WANTS TO SHOW OFF HIS EXCELLENT STITCHING SKILLS, KI CHAAHE BODY PE HO YA KAPDE PE, HE’S GOT THE BEST PAIR OF HANDS FOR THE JOB

asalkdjlsajkdlsakdjsa the shirt removal. CONTROL YOURSELFFFF SIR.

can they stop panning the camera all around and focusing on idhar udhar ka random decor saamaan?!?! I WANNA SEE THE SEXY.

.......... what exactly is he stitching??? both hooks are there only. loop toot gaya tha toh iss side pe kyun silaai kar raha hai?????

OH GOD THE RING IS OUT THE RING IS OUTTTTT

AND RAIMA’S HERE AS WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

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oh god. the poop hath hit the fan.

ROHIT ISTG IMMA KICK YOUR DAMN ASS IF THIS ISN’T A RED HERRING FOR THE PRECAP.

OMG SONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :((((((((((((((((((

#kahaan hum kahaan tum #khkt lbs #episode liveblogs

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kasssiopeia · 8 years ago

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Final thoughts on NDRV3

posted under cut because spoilers!

So I want to write a little review for.. i dont even know whos gonna read that? probably nobody that still wants to play the game afterwards, haha. Anyway I felt like writing a final report on what I liked or... disliked, at least for the record I guess.

Starting with characters:

When I first watched the trailer, there were quite a few characters that caught my eye. Especially Yonaga and Amami, also Saihara and talent wise I was really looking forward to Ultimate Magician cause?? Nice? Also the promo pictures oh my.. Akamatsu and Harukawa?? Hell yeah. Saihara and Momota? Yeah alright! Amami and.. whos that again? Ah yes Ouma.. well I don’t really care but sure? (haha)

Actually playing the game made me think twice on a lot of characters really quickly. First of all I immediately fell in love with Chabashira and the fact that she and Akamatsu got along was just suuuper exciting!! Also Shinguuji seemed interesting but his story seemed a bit difficult for me to understand in Japanese. After getting to know Hoshi for a bit I also became really attached to this character cause he was kinda relatable for me? and I dont mean because of the same alias, I just felt his kinda nihilism and will to sacrifice himself for the others cause they have more “will to live” hit home really closely. I think if it were me, surely I’d behave similarly. Halfway through the story I suddenly realized I really love Ouma, I don’t even know how that happened cause at first I was kinda meh towards him but smh it happens quite often that characters who pissed me off before suddenly become my bias, soo we are stuck with him now I guess? but ill talk about him in more detail later. Saihara turned out to be a true “meh i dont really care about this guy” character, Harukawa was annoying cause in the end her behaviour changed nothing and it was just plain boring. Hagakure.. I mean Momota was same, and it was even worse that these two kinda became a romantic pair cause that just made them even more boring. I could only acknowledge Momota after it was found out that he agreed to Oumas plan.

Also I ended up disliking most of the other characters, ESPECIALLY Yumeno cause she was equally boring and useless and dont act like you ever cared about Chabashira cause Im not buying that. Angie WOULD have been interesting if she had killed someone after all, but yeah whatever. Shinguuji had the potential but they decided to completely fuck over his character in his trial.

The game mode:

Tbh at this point, I cant really complain much? I gotta say I disliked logic dive and forgot how its called.. the sword mode something something. But then again I played this on pc and I think both wouldve been a lot easier with a controller. Now lets look at brain drive, which works similar like logic dive and... what? i have to pick up sex workers? Saihara’s car is full of sexy ladies? WHAT

seriously i dont know what they were thinking but that just weirded me the fuck out. The rest wasnt so bad. The new game mode they brought in wasnt so bad, relatively easy to win but to this day id need so much more time to figure out how to clear every block. The showdown thing?? pretty shit. I liked panic talk action in the previous games, but now it became a button mashing rhythm game that was.. pretty difficult aint gonna lie. Also the fact that you literally tear off their clothes until they are half naked in the end.. what. the. fuck. Climax logic was alright, but the pictures got really tiny i think? sometimes it was hard to get what was going on unless you read the description. Scrum debatte was great, and the new feature to lie? ... Meh. Smh from the trailer I got the impression that i could either lie or tell the truth. Maybe I was just too stupid to do that, but i dont think i ever had a choice to do either. If someone was able to do different, please tell me cause I was a bit disappointed. Ah also, weak point panic talk(?) where you have to listen to many characters at first. if im not wrong it was introduced as something only Akamatsu can do? because of her musical ear I mean. Well guess that was a lie,

The trials:

Probably THE main thing in dangan ronpa I mean hey we all came here to enjoy a little murder mystery right? (jk im here to romance the characters in peace mode) Let’s say I wasn’t... too impressed with them.

The first trial was pretty interesting, well done too, if it WASNT for the point that the player character herself was the killer and got executed. Wait what, you just took my character away? after the FIRST trial? Yes exactly. I’m not sure what they were thinking except adding a bit more drama and man pain for Saihara but ill write more to that later. At the end of this trial, everyone cried more for the killer than for the victim just because her motive was something as noble as “I knew we wouldnt make it in time so one of us had to kill someone.”

second trial was... incredibly weird and unnecessarily cruel, and I’m not saying this because Hoshi is my bias. Okay maybe I am. But seriously first he gets drowned and then his corpse is eaten by piranhas so theres not even anything left of him anymore? The whole creating a ropeway with a pool floating thing just felt weird to me as well but sure I wrote it off as “after two games theyll eventually run out of ways”. Speaking about the motive... it was similar to the first murder in dr1, but the fact that Toujou turned out to be some president of a country (if I got that right, I was bored and didnt bother checking unknown words) and she wanted to get out to save her people just.. what? And I said this before but I dont believe that Hoshi just “let himself get killed”. Why’d he fight for his life otherwise and leave all those scratch marks on a fucking stone sink? After the trial, again, nobody cried for the victim, they were all ridden on the killers noble idea of getting out.... okay? what

the third trial!! hell yeah!! that was finally one i could really enjoy, despite my waifu getting killed (but she was beautiful until the end). I actually dont know what really got me to like this murder, but the fact that it was definitely plausible maybe helped. Also when it happened right in front of everyone was just really exciting! The trial was... good, until Shinguujis “real identity” was revealed. His motive was pretty gross, I mean the fact that hes romantically in love with his sister and kills for her, which also implied hes a serial killer just.. idk that was weird, but FINALLY they didnt cry for the killer but for the victims.

trial four was a PAIN to get to, istg this stupid game world pissed me off to the point where i didnt wanna play anymore, also cause i heavily suspected Ouma to do something and I didnt want him gone haha. The death itself turned out to be pretty interesting (tbh i wouldve never thought theyd kill of a ero character like Iruma! ) so I’d say i liked this trial.

Dude trial five!!! hyped me up so much. I was so torn between hoping Ouma is the killer and also Ouma being the victim... if I ignore the stupid romance interval between Harukawa and Momota, I could even say this was my favorite trial. But it also heavily reminded me of Komaeda’s trial which was a bit.. weird. I got pretty pissed that in the end, Momota didnt go through with Oumas plan, therefore making his death basically useless. But boy the trial gave me so many Ouma feels, so that was nice...

The sixth and final trial... where do I even start? Well its where the whole plot comes to an end right? And the kotodama looked pretty interesting, just like the build up but then.. I understand that 4th wall breaking is cool, but do it too much or at the wrong time and its just a pain in the ass.

The trial almost had me throw away my ps vita in frustration also it was so boring i ended up skipping a lot of dialogue cause what are you even trying to get at? Not even the end or some more 4th wall breaking could fix this and literally until the end i was so bored that i just skipped through so i could unlock bonus mode... i almost feel like telling everyone, dont play this game now lol.

The story

If the beginning had you wondering, isnt that normal for all dr games? at least i thought so. normal game, normal killing, great. But the new main character! Akamatsu was pretty lovable. I enjoyed the way she brought in her talent into conversations (and left others stunned cause they couldnt relate). She was just really refreshing to play as, just the small romance-y sections with Saihara were boring (but at this point i thought its just being friends so okay) . Compared to Naegi who was seen by the others mostly as a “loser” or weakling who sometimes says something good, and Hinata whom everyone really liked, Akamatsu seemed to me like having some people who really trust her, and those who are somehow against her. AND THAT FELT RIGHT.

Too bad she literally gets killed as the murderer during the FIRST trial and replaced by Saihara who evidentally gives off a ~Naegi vibe~. Seriously why would you even do that.. It was stupid as heck, but the only good thing is that it saved us from possible Saihara and Akamatsu love story.

Continuing, Saihara loses some of his weakness thanks to Momota, and also it is hinted that Ouma can’t really be trusted or can he...? Cause what he did that was thought to be evil and possibly harmful for the others actually turned out to be a way to at least prevent one killing. After that I got the feeling that he actually grew just a little bit closer to the group and became even more helpful again.

Then we have these weird scenes with Harukawa and Momota, which are just weird and Harukawa herself was a boring character, but if you care for some tragic background and forseeable character development that of course has to end with romantic feelings, sure.

The student council thing to prevent murders from happen was actually pretty interesting and i wish theyd gone through with that just a bit more, but it was a nice turn of events.

Talking about Ouma, the moment you think hes on your side, theres this weird scene with him and Monokuma and you know somethings up. I made a post about this earlier too, wishing for him to double cross everyone and eventually turn out good, but that suddenly turned into a pretty far fetched wish after the fourth trial where hes portrayed as ultra evil and later on reveals that hes the mastermind (wait, is he really? should his black and white clothing scheme have given him away sooner?)

i guess i... didnt mind it so much except for the fact that Ouma wont appear that often anymore. he even goes as far as to say that the killing game is over, but isnt it kinda boring that the character who hinted that he was evil, turns out to be evil after all? Well a lot of things in this game were a bit boring, so... sure. We even learn that Ouma is a remnant of despair and what?? how does that even make sense. If they are supposedly students of the new Kibougamine Gakuen which was built by Naegi, Junko and Despair wouldve long been dead! Alright then? Oh yes also the whole setting ins in SPACE and those students are the last 16 humans from earth who were put in cryosleep until they reached a new planet to live on. Oh...kay? Why not I mean.

For Hope to win, everyone sets out to kill Monokuma to finally make the Killing game end for real and.. look, Ouma is helping them! Somehow that is really giving me hope for his character even if his insane laugh and incredibly creepy sprite (seriously what the fuck) are a bit unsettling...

And then.. who wouldve thought? Another killing happens but this time with a twist. Ouma wasnt actually the ultra bad guy everyone thought and guess what! Hes not even the mastermind! Thats my son. I was super happy that some faith in Ouma was restored, even tho his plan to snuff out the true mastermind reminded me of Komaeda going crazy to single out the traitor... especially cause there are quite a few similarities between those two.

So for the final trial, it seems that there are quite a few hints linking to the true mastermind being Enoshima... again? How did she even get here. But theres some weird plan from the government and the fact that Monokuma is here as well might be that someone implanted some sort of virus like in sdr2? We also know that theres definitely someone who is watching the whole killing game. And thats... where it all goes to shit.

This dangan ronpa is the 53rd installment and the people watching are actually dangan ronpa fans! surprise youre all just fictional characters who chose to be here, and so is every other dangan ronpa character! nothing is real, you dont even really exist! lololol

do i need to say any more

I think that was the worst plot twist ive ever seen? You couldve just somehow figured something out, even make it a reality tv show for crying out loud but not some bullshit like ohh the dangan ronpa fans wanna see you despair! they wanna see you have hope!

fuck. off.

if it wasnt for that ending, that game wouldve been a solid 7/10 I’d say, especially with the last 3 chapters really getting me fired up. But that shit.. Its a literal, oh we just made this game cause you fans wanted it? we didnt actually wanna make this but you keep asking for more?

HOW ABOUT YOU DIDNT EVEN MAKE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE

im gonna go romance ouma in peace mode now bye

#hoshis adventures at uni #hoshi plays ndrv3 #ndrv3 spoilers #ndrv3 review #this is nothing but a salty rant i lied

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murfeelee · 8 years ago

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Bang, Marry, or Kill: Disney Princes

I was organizing my downloads from @silsharkie84’s Disney uploads, and it got me thinking about a conversation I had with someone once about which Disney princes I’d Bang, Marry, or Kill.

And since I have nothing better to do with my life, I decided to make this post.

KILL

Let’s just get the annoying ones out of the way. I would totally kill, because these guys got on my g-d nerves:

10: John Smith (Pocahontas) - freaking bigot. Totally foreshadowed Mel Gibson’s racist-a** tirades. Not only that, but they completely romanticize his story and his FACE, cuz RL John Smith was NOT that fine. At all. I’d totally Marry John Rolfe though; I liked the sequel, I don’t care. At least Pocahontas actually married Rolfe IRL. I doubt she and troll-face Smith were banging IRL though. Unless he raped her, which wouldn’t surprise me. Anyway, he’s not even royalty! He and Pocahontas didn’t even stay together in the cartoon, why is he considered a Disney Prince, the hell?

9: Prince Charming (Cinderella) - the man was useless. His castle’s the most interesting thing about him -- and everyone calls it Cinderella’s Castle anyways, so nya-nya. Freaking tool. I mean, how are you so “in love“ with this chick, yet you don’t even BOTHER with asking her name, her address, her zodiac sign...NOTHING. A few dances and you know you don’t know the first thing about Cinderella, but you wanna marry her? Then you couldn’t even be effed to hunting her down yourself -- as if she’s the only wench in the kingdom who wears Size 6 shoes. Would’ve served him right if Lady Tremaine’s feet fit in them just fine! XP (I LOVE Shrek’s Prince Charming though! Totally Bang him! XD)

8: Naveen (Princess & the Frog) - jfc, I’d take Dr. Facilier over this guy; Keith David’s the best. Disney just HAD to go and make their first black human prince an idiot though. Yeah, Naveen’s hella pretty, but he’s broke, shiftless, a frikkin frog for a good chunk of the movie, and did I mention he’s an idiot? I see you, Disney. <_<

HONORABLE MENTION: Prince Hans (Frozen) - THIS SNAAAAAKE! Omg I did NOT see that coming! I would have MARRIED him! Omgomgomg; that was the best part of the whole show, next to that song people won’t let go of. (Pfft) I don’t like Kristoff at all, but THIS mofo...? KILL. On SIGHT. Before it’s too late!

Bang

7: Eugene (Tangled) - possibly the funniest and most fully realized prince (consort) Disney ever made. But the man’s a total clown. I could never take a guy like that seriously. I’M a total clown! I know clowns when I see them! We’d probably have some booze-induced romp and wake up hungover the next day, freak the eff out, and solemnly vow to NEVER mention what happened for as long as we both shall live, amen, pass the toothpaste.

6: Prince Eric (Little Mermaid) - Eric is actually the hottest Disney Prince -- MALE, Period -- I think they ever made. Totally swoon-worthy. And his castle is swaaanky~! But ISTG this Judas has zero sense, and is just as vapid as Prince Charming. You were barely conscious and this girl dragged your guppy butt out of the freaking ocean, and you barely got a good glimpse of her, but you’re ready to devote the rest of your useless life to finding her, rather than getting with the perfectly adorable (though albeit mute) chick WHO IS THE SAME REDHEAD YOU’RE LOOKING FOR YOU BLIND FOOL?!?! Omg spare me. Ursula/Vanessa didn’t even have red hair! So, yeah, he’s an idiot. But a hot one. 10/10, would do again.

5: Prince Ali/Aladdin (Aladdin) - if you’re gonna be a broke street rat, at least be the best street rat, y’know? Aladdin was probably the smartest Disney prince EVER. A bit of a liar, so we’d have to work on that “Do You Trust Me~~” shtick, but yeah. He just had a rough life (thanks to his jerkface SEXY BAMF daddy, Cassim, the King of Thieves, who I would immediately Bang, but not Marry, since Cassim ditched his wife to go treasure hunting and she died and Aladdin had to grow up an orphan all those years, the eff, frikkin scrub). But Aladdin’s freaking cute, so if I was some lonely street ratress I’d tap that. Even though I was squicked out when I heard that Disney based Aladdin’s face on Tom effing Cruise, which made me vomit a bit in my mouth. But yeah.

HONORABLE MENTION: Phoebus (Hunchback of Notre Dame) - He’s not a prince since Esmeralda’s not a princess, but he was hot, and up until Tangled I thought he was the funniest love interest Disney had. I loved his antics with his horse Achilles, and his general reactions to the shenanigans going on in that abysmally underrated show. I can’t decide if I’d just Bang him or Marry him, cuz he made me feel so bad for Quasimodo, who I would certainly Marry. But Phoebus is definitely getting Banged.

MARRY

4: The Prince (Ferdinand/Florian) (Snow White) - The original True Love’s Kiss. We know next to nothing about this dude and his magic lips, but you know what? The woodland animals liked him, and the dwarves liked him (and they hate everybody), and Snow White liked him, so I like him too. And he dressed really well, so he was probably loaded.

3: Prince Phillip (Sleeping Beauty) - I know Sleeping Beauty’s my favorite Disney film EVER, but Phil only barely gets a pass into my Top 3/4, and that’s mostly because 1: anyone who can defeat MY BISH Maleficent is a BAMF, and 2: I liked his scenes with his horse Samson -- which were interestingly enough lampshaded with Eugene and Maximus, AND Phoebus and Achilles -- I see you, Disney! But other than that I thought he was just alright. I didn’t hate him. And 3: I love his impromptu “duet” with Aurora in Once Upon a Dream; dude could sing.

2: The Beast/Prince Adam - I'm just gonna come out and say it: Is it just me, or was this dude sexier as The Beast than he was as a human? O_O

Awwww yeeeah.... I’m sorry, maybe I need to pray for my soul a little bit, but I’m just saying. Beauty and the Beast might just be the greatest Disney cartoon of all time, IMO. The Beast was freaking COOL, fighting packs of wolves and nonsense to save his bae. Also, his castle was THE BEST. Oh, so Cinderella’s castle has a ballroom -- EFF that wack-a** ballroom! The Beast’s was WAY better! It’s GOLD PLATED! He’s got enchanted servants on standby and feasts with FRENCH CHEFS and everything! Not to mention, it’s got a LIBRARY. AND there’s a dungeon. Talk about GRAVITAS. The Beast would totally go medieval on someone, I love it. Belle’s over there crying and mess. I’d be like HALLELUJAH, such a step up from Gaston~~! ^0^ The wild part is that apparently the whole story is supposed to symbolize arranged marriages, where the bride is terrified of her seemingly “beastly“ stranger of a husband, but over time gets to know him and realizes he’s not a complete and total douchelord. Just 75% douche and 25% lord. Which is way better than Gaston’s 100% doucheness, amirite.

HONORABLE MENTION: Kocoum (Pocahontas) - I kid you not, I rage-cried when Kocoum died. This SEXY HALF-NEKKID WARRIOR WITH TATTS OMFG TAKE ME NOOOW! Pocahontas was a complete IDIOT; I’d Marry his #FOINE behind and give him an effton of babies! Sexy warrior babies! *shrill battle cry* That was the most aggravating death ever, Disney. What a waste of good genes.

#1: LI SHANG (Mulan) - I would bite this man. I bought that crappy straight-to-video sequel just so I could keep staring at Li Shang, I’m not even lying. He was fully realized, hot as all get out, could kick the tastebuds out of the Huns, had THE BEST SONG Disney ever gave a dude, and I’m sure I said he was hot, right? Well, it bears repeating. Marry. Wed. Espoused. Eloped. Mated. Bonded. Holy Matrimony. SINFUL Matrimony. Everything. We’re doing it all! SIGN. ME. UP.

Lawd have all the mercy. Make whatever you frikkin want out of me, Shang! (*3*)/

So, how about y’all? Which cartoon characters are y’all pervving over?

#nonsims #non-sims #Disney #questionnaire #RANT ALERT #mini rant

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