#i wanna leave cali and be married and have kids already

[semi-sketchy]

I was the anon who sent the question about asking about your OCs and rest assured! I definitely meant the latter—as a fellow creative, I totally understand lacking the energy to draw out every ask or rping as them lmao. (I would die!)

My question is about Tara who is definitely my favorite of your characters so far. I remember you mentioning that Tara was very upset when she found out when she was pregnant and even was mad with Rocky for a bit. This may be a vague question so my apologies if it's tricky to answer, but can you give us some more insight on Tara's relationship with motherhood? Was there a point in her pregnancy where she accepted that she was going to be a mom and even begin to love her children, or did that come more so after their birth? Did she love them instantly or did it take time?

How did Tara’s experience with her family effect how she saw having children? Will her parents and siblings ever meet her kids? What would her parents think of Rocky and their offspring?

SORRY THIS IS SO MUCH FIEKCJKA. I just love exploring family dynamics and you put so much thought into them.

HO BOY DO I HAVE NOTES SO BUCKLE UP THIS'LL BE A LONG ONE

So Tara has a really bad relationship with her family, some trauma that lingers from their constant belittlement still causes her some problems (I wrote a lot about that in her family's bios which you can read here if you haven't already). She is very prideful and confident in her abilities, but it's her character traits that she suffers insecurities about. She's very closed off and avoids showing vulnerability, even to those she's closest with, which masks as a bad attitude. This makes little moments where she shows compassion towards others (mostly kids she sees parts of her past self in) a little shocking.

(Just a snippet that came to mind, nothing else exists but this here. Context is just Cali went missing while Rita was alone so everyone's helping to find her, except they don't want to bring Rita into possible danger.) Rita: Wait! I wanna come, too. Nami: Sorry, kiddo, this isn't an adventure for you. You'll be better off here where it's safe. Rita: But--! Byte: Nami's right. We don't know what we're going to get into. We can't risk putting you in danger. Tara: Oh, let the kid tag along. Byte: Tara? Tara: Come on, you can ride with me. Rita: Thanks, Miss Tara! *leaves* Byte: Tara....why? Tara: It's not like you two were getting anywhere with her. Besides, she just wants to help. Nami: I didn’t expect from you, Tara. What's gotten into you? Tara: Just get in the car.

Even though Rocky is very kind to her, she knows she's jaded. She fears that she's mistreating him and he'd be better off alone. Being aro/ace plays into this as well because Rocky loves her and while she cares very deeply about him, she physically can't reciprocate those feelings. This is why she was so hesitant to marry him and even pushed him away when he wanted to start a relationship. You can imagine, but being the mother of his children is quite the big step to take when you have these doubts and it happened so early in their marriage.

“Tara, you okay?” Ryder asked. She nodded with a yawn. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” “She’s been complaining about being tired for days,” Skye added. Tara looked over and shot a death glare at Skye. “Really, I’m fine.” “I think you better sit this one out, Tara, you’re not well,” Ryder said. She stood up in protest. “But--” “We can handle it,” Byte interrupted, “you can watch the pups.” She stomped her foot and growled. “I’m a rescue dog, not a babysitter! Look, I just haven’t been sleeping well, that’s no reason to take me out of action!” “Tara, we sometimes handle dangerous situations, we can’t afford not to be at our best during it,” Ryder responded. “Go and rest, we’ll see to you once the mission is over.” Hanging her head, she stalked over to the door, grumbling with each step. “Now pups, we have reports of an underwater volcano becoming active--” Tara quickly walked backwards and sat herself back in her spot. “Ready for deployment.” Ryder sighed, having trouble reasoning with his stubborn dog. “Marshall, see that she gets some rest and a wellness check.” “Yes sir!” Marshall stood up and went over to Tara, nudging her to move it. “H-hey!” she protested. “You’re dealing with a volcano, you need me!” “Don’t worry, I can cover for you,” Nami piped up. “After all, I deal with natural disasters, so I have some knowledge of volcanoes. You take it easy.” Her brows furrowed, she let Marshall lead her outside.

She was upset because she wasn't ready for that step, she wasn't ready to put aside her duties, the one thing she had confidence in, to start a family, which is why she lashed out and blamed Rocky at first. She couldn't cope with the reality and took it out on him.

She already had fears about being a bad partner, but now she also had to deal with the fear of following in her parents footsteps and hurting her children the way she was hurt. She may seem snarky and uncaring most the time, but she also works to try and make sure no one goes through what she did. If that means a confrontation, she'll step in without a second thought. She doesn't care what someone does to her, she's already been damaged, but she can't sit idly by and let that happen to someone else.

The weight of her children's happiness falls on her and she doesn't trust herself with it. She knows she's rough, she knows she's grumpy and blunt, she knows she won't be what they need or deserve.

She goes through this alone because while she has made progress, she still has trouble expressing her feelings and wants nothing more than to isolate herself. Rocky knows she's afraid and wants to help her, but all the reassurance in the world can't undo the programming from her childhood, especially in such a short timeframe.

Though when the time finally comes...she's left with wonder and amazement. She still carries these fears, but she learns to love her children in spite of them.

Tara slowly blinked open her eyes, feeling rather warm with Rocky snuggled up beside her back. She stirred slightly as she lifted her head, looking out the door to see the dawn breaking over Adventure Bay. “Y-you’re awake…” Rocky’s voice caused her to jump slightly in surprise as she turned to him, a confused look on her face. He looked at her with hope gleaming across his face, but he slowly lost the expression as Tara continued to stare at him blankly. “…You don’t remember what happened last night, do you?” She slowly shook her head. “It’s…okay. It’s for the better. You had a rough time, Marshall wasn’t sure you could pull it off, but you did.” He licked her cheek and drove his gaze down to the two pups pressed up against her. She watched the newborns as their chests slowly rose and fell next to her flank, her expression easing in the silence. “They’re…beautiful…” “A boy and a girl, one of each,” Rocky stated as he got up and walked over to his little pups. “I was thinking of names… So the boy will be Rocky jr. and the girl will be Tara jr.” She furrowed her brows, shooting an annoyed glare at him. “No.”

She makes mistakes, she's not perfect, but she is not her parents.

Her family relations weren't good and they don't get better now. Even though not all of her siblings were outright cruel, the fact is none ever came to help her or stop the cruelty, which only enabled the behavior. They're the reason she was afraid of the water for a while and never learned how to swim.

Since joining the PAW Patrol, she's basically been able to avoid her family, not even inviting them to her wedding. She has no interest in subjecting her kids to the environment she had to endure, so she's purposefully sheltered them from that. Although, she can't always protect them and family events happen.

Telsa pup: "My mom says all purebred dogs should be with other purebreds. That way we all turn out normal. You two mutts? You’re disgusting." Roxy: "But I took bath today!" Brevon: "Are you really that stupid?" Roxy: "Huh? Why would you say something like that...?" Brevon: "I’m talking to that asshole, not you." Roxy: "Oh, in that case carry on."

It's a situation beyond her control, one she can't shelter her loved ones from.

A female Bernese Mountain Dog turned to him, wearing a white collar and bows on her ears. “How do you know Terra?” she asked in a posh accent. “O-oh, I’m Rocky, Tara’s wife-- I MEAN HUSBAND. Husband.” He felt kind of foolish for messing up on his own introduction like that. The female looked him up and down. “You mean you’re the loser she married?” “Ah, hahah,” he faked a small laugh, trying his best to make a good impression. “Yup, that’s me. W-who might you be?” “Telsa.” He paused, waiting for her to say something more about herself as few moments of awkward silence slipped by. “Hi!” Telsa turned away, going to mingle with her family and leaving Rocky alone. One of her siblings piped up, talking amongst his other brothers and sisters. “How did she ever land a guy?” “I kind of thought she was into girls…” The other male commented.

Her family is never gonna approve of her or her choices and she knows this. They'll be critical and pick at every aspect they can, including her family. They don't respect her, even after all she's accomplished, and they never will.

Telsa sat and watched as Tara struggled to get free from the horde of children. “My, you look...different.” “Wish I could say the same about you,” she said as she finally got on her feet, shaking her coat. “You’re still as ugly as ever.” “Come on, now, there’s no need to be rude. It’s Family Day, after all,” Telsa smiled. Tara rolled her eyes, sitting down and watching as the puppies dispersed. “Yeah, gotta love Family Day.” “Oh please, Terra,” she huffed, moving to sit next to Tara, “you hate every moment of this because these pups are better than yours.” “No, I hate them because they’re little shits.” “Well, they’re more well behaved than your two kids,” Telsa remarked. “Well at least I have only two and not twenty.” “I have nine, Terra,” she corrected. “You know, I have always wondered why you only had two unlike the rest of us.” She shrugged, turning her attention to her kids playing with their cousins. “Just blessed, I guess.” “I suppose it’s all for the better, though,” Telsa sighed. Tara cocked her brow. “What do you mean?” She sat up straight, wrapping her tail around her paws as she turned her attention to her sister. “Terra, you fell in love with a mutt.” “And?” she pressed. Her gaze shifted down, her tail nervously twitching. “Well, your pups…they aren’t…purebred…” “And...?” “They’re…mutteneses!” she blurted out. “And?” Tara pressed further. Her chest puffed out as she snapped her gaze back at Tara. “Well, at least my mate is a purebred!” “You mean inbred, you self-righteous cock,” she remarked. Telsa gasped as she stepped back. “How...dare you!” “What? It’s the truth,” she replied. “And don’t discount Rocky like that. He’s a very kind and smart father.” “Oh please, he can’t even spell your name correctly,” Telsa jeered.

Even though a few have grown up and want good relations with her, she can't forget what they allowed to happen and she can't forgive. She won't give them that leverage to walk back into her life or the chance to hurt those she's now closest to.

For the first time in a long while, Tara has something she deeply cares about, which just marks them as an easy sensitivity to exploit.

And no one does this better than her mother. Heidi puts on a mask of wanting the best for her children, but it always comes out in being highly critical of everything with her husband always backing her.

Tara: “Yeah, well I have other things to do.” Rocky: “Tara!” Tara: “Oh great.” Rocky: “Are these your parents?” Tara: “Yes. Meet Heidi and Alpine. Mom, Dad, this is my husband, Rocky.” Heidi: “…You never did have good taste in men.”

Tara thinks so highly of Rocky, she knows how good he is and how hard he tries to be the best father he can, but all her family chooses to see is a trash mutt.

Brevon and Roxy are somewhat accepted, them being kids it's easier not to blame them for who their parents are. Heidi loves her grandbabies, but they aren't immune to the bias that follows Tara and this is evident by how indifferent Alpine is towards them, often refusing to acknowledge their existence.

Tara's family views her as a disappointment, a scorn on the family name, and her husband and kids are nothing more than an extension of that.

WHEW okay I warned you that was a lot. I didn't feel the need to go super into the family dynamics since I already wrote about that and some of this was taken from a WIP fanfic I plan to eventually finish, so it'll be further explored then.

Thank you so much for giving me an opportunity to ramble though because I genuinely love these characters and sharing them so much.

[bubbleteaa]

➴ D o u b l e  t r o u b l e

double trouble;; fandom: haikyuu!! pairing: Miya Atsumu x fem!pregnant reader, Miya Osamu x fem!pregnant reader genres: fluff, Atsumu being a dumbass w/c: 1.1K (HOW?? WTFFF AKJSDS) a/n: thanks for the request anon! And thank you for your words, I love you!<3

Summary: Their s/o has a surprise for him. And after a time, they realize that it is no longer a surprise, but two surprises.

Miya Atsumu;;

WHEN YOU TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY

• He would think that you are joking, though. • “Nice one, bae. Ya think yar smar’, don’t cha? Think again” • “Atsumu, I’m serious” • “C’mon bae, ya can’t be serious. Ya wanna laugh” • But you were awfully serious. With a pregnancy test between your tiny hands. • And then he realizes that you are not joking. • If you weren’t his s/o, he would legit run away. • “Well, that was a nice fuck. I just rememba that I don’t like kids, see ya” • But you are his s/o. So, he would be in shock. His eyes stick on yours, analyzing what he could say without making you mad nor frustrated. • “I guess my dick issa miracle maker, righ’?” • It sounded better in his head. • He knows he fucked up a little bit the air in the room with his comment. So he just walks towards you and hugs you tightly, his face bidding in the crook of your neck. You tremble a little because of his actions, but you just let yourself in between his softness and affection. • “I’m happy, ya know” he mutters against your hot skin, smiling lightly “I’m truly happy” • “I’m happy, too” your words kisses his dyed hair, one of your hands still grabbing the pregnancy test, the other one caressing the strands of his hair “I love you” • “I love ya too” he closes his eyes, imagining yourself with a baby. His baby “And to our little one, too”

WHEN THE REAL SURPRISE APPEARS

• “My dick is really a miracle maker, bae” • It must be really a joke, maybe the doctor was clearly blind and instead of another head, it was just an incredible big hand, or feet or a second brain. • But, fate seems to love twins. Too much. • “Yes, there are clearly two of them” your obstetrician looks at you with a playfully smile “Twin twins” • Atsumu is happy. Like, tooooo happy. He convinces himself that he is some kind of a fertility ancient god and that his mission in the Earth is to have twin twins for at least three times. • “I’m so cool bae” •  And he would be also very, very, very clingy towards the babies. And would spoil them without even know the gender. •  “Lemme see my cutie pies” •  “We needa buy ‘em some matchin’ clothes” •  “If we have gals, they would never date a guy” •  “I wish we could have gals, bae. They would be as cute as ya” •  “Imagine two lil’ Y/n’s running in the park bae” •  And he would like to have boys, too. •  “Wait, I know I say whatavaout’ gals but think about boys” •  “One spiker and one setter” •  “Omg I have to call Samu, wait bae” •  He will brag to everyone about the news. He will legit post at least the same picture of the ultransound 10 times on his social media. • ”OMG LOOK AT MA BABIES ARENT THEY COOL???????” •  “Just here to remind ya I’ll be father :D” •  “You wish you could have the life I have, loser” •  At the end of the day, he would always lay at your side and put his head on your lap, looking at your belly, smiling. • He would always run his hand carefully over your skin, feeling them quick from time to time. Sometimes his eyes would cry a little bit for the future you hold in your body. •  The future he wanted with you. •  “But they are a true miracle, my love”

Miya Osamu;;

WHEN YOU TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY

• Superior twin. •  He would probably know about your pregnancy before you. • Like, he legit is the one that cooks for you at 2 a.m., How was he not going to know it? •  “Samu?” •  “Yeah?” • “I’m pregnant” • Unlike Atsumu, he doesn't think it's a joke, nor does he make any out-of-order comments regarding the news. She just smiles lightly at you and caresses the crown of your head. • “I already knew it, though” he mentions you after a while, looking you in the eye. He smiles slightly and press a chaste kiss on your lips "I was just waiting for you to confirm it" • “I have to talk to Tsumu, tho. I just won a bet” • “Bet?” • “Yeah, I’m the one who is getting marry first and having a child first” •  Yes the mf will propose to you. I stan that. KJSHDJSA •  You blink for several minutes analyzing the situation. His hands are on your belly “What?” • “I want to spend the rest of my life with you and with our baby” •  It’s impossible to say no to that, tho.

WHEN THE REAL SURPRISE APPEARS

• Now, he didn’t see this coming. • But i’s quite funny, ngl. • As always, he was accompanying you to appointments with the obstetrician. Both of you were calm, especially since it hadn't been long since the last visit. It was just an impromptu date because you said that your hip hurt a lot, and honestly, Osamu wouldn't risk anything happening to you or your baby. • But yeye, now something happened to you and your baby. • They multiplied. • And now there are two of em. • “Is that another head?”  • “Oh, yes. It seems that you are having twins” •  “Like twin twins???” • “Uh, probably. Mr. Miya, you have a twin twin, right?” • What a coincidence see ya in there lil samu and tsumu. • Now, prepare yourself for OVER OVER PROTECTING OSAMU. • “Don’t carry that, ya will hurt my onigiris” • “Y/N. Go to sleep, our babies needs to rest” • “Sit”, “Yer feet hurts, ya can’t lie to me”, “Yar goin’ to the bed now”, “Ya dontcha need to go out, do ya? Of course no” • He cares just too much. • sPoiLES YOU AND THE BABIES TO THE CORE. • “Samu, I’m hungry” • “Watcha want bae?”  • And he will cook you everything. Even if he run out of ingredients, he would call Tsumu or someone to bring him some-because he will NEVER leave you alone at home-.  • “I need more katsuobushi and panko, go get me some” • “Oh hello to ya too Samu, how is my favourite bro-” • “Tsumu, just brin’ me the ingredients and stfu” • The babies WILL HAVE matching clothes. Don’t even try to stop him.  • Cute nicknames for the babies? Bet. • “Oni and Giri will love this, bae” •  “Wait, how did you call them?????” • Anyway, he will be very careful with you. Even when you cuddle. He will try his best to not harm you or make you uncomfortable. • “Is this position alrigh’, bae?” •  “I can change if ya don’ feel fine” • “Please lemme know if you feel comfortable” • Kisses. On. Your. Tummy. • Like. A. Lot. • HE LOVES WHEN THEY KICK YOUR TUMMY. HE LEGIT FALLS MORE AND MORE IN LOVE AHHHH IM SOFTTT. • “They are moving”  • “Yeah, they know their daddy is here, they just love you too much” • He would smile so brightly that your heart will do UWU UWU UWU.  • “I love them more” • He is just the perfect dad:( you can’t change my mind.

｡･:*˚:✧｡ C h e e s e  c u l t : @akaashichigo @drainedjaz @haikkeiji @annalyn-annalyn @mlkytobio @sosugasweet @cali-writes-sometimes @simping4ratsumu @shishinoya @ushiwakaa @from-left-to-write @akaashit-baeji  @kxgeyamasmilk @agaassi @hanibuni @cupofkenma  @kawanisshi @milkandc00kiez  @thiccbokuto @shinsukestan @sufiawrites @wakaitoshi @skyguy-peach @fern-writes-ig @briswriting @kawaiikraykray @miyuswriting @raevaioli @ouikarwa @hakueishirei​ @pineapplekween​ @estherwritess​ @keiji-n​ @achoohq​ @badlywritten-hq​ @mochibeaa​ @oinkanna​ @chxrry-wxne​ @spudicide​ @airybby​ @asranomical​ @karmasuna​

｡･:*˚:✧｡ G e n e r a l  m a s t e r l i s t: @trashys-things​ @softforshigi​ @groundzeroagency​ @edensxgarden​ @pm4gal​  @yams046​ @thatfanfictionwriter​

[bxthharmon]

Never Go Home Again, Pt. XI || JJ Maybank x Reader

Words: 2910

Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex and sex tapes / drugs / underage drinking

Pt. Warnings: Abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes, sex and sex tapes

Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy.  teenagers getting in way over their heads

Pt. Summary: JJ and Y/N reconcile upon her return

A/N: and yall are finally gonna learn the readers story lmao. im going to bed like, asap

Chapters linked in my masterlist.

“masterlist”

You’d known JJ for over a month, and you’d never been nervous to see him. You always felt comfortable, and sure, you felt fluttery when he kissed your cheek, flirted with you, put his arm over your shoulders, but you’d never felt like this. You fiddled with the friendship bracelet Kie had made you a week ago, and chewed on your lip as you sat on the porch of the Chateau. You could hear someone in the garden, but made no move to see who it was, stuck in stasis as you stressed. Your vision was cloudy. Everything he had said, it hurt. It hurt because it was true. You hadn’t been honest with him, with any of them, and they had welcomed you and helped you for weeks now. You needed to come clean. They deserved to know - JJ deserved to know - and it was unfair of you to keep it from them any longer.

It was all still fresh. It had been three months since the divorce was finalised. Two months since everything went down with Tyler. One month since you met JJ. You closed your eyes, psyching yourself up. Was John B home? Kie or Pope over? Was JJ even there, or was he home? You wondered, Please don’t let him have been home.

You heard an engine, and looked up. Pope’s car rolled up, and you stood, Kie popping the door open and pulling you into a close hug. She pulled away, eyes shining, “We didn’t know where you were - you weren’t answering calls and your dad only said you’d gone away.” she blinked slowly, opening her eyes again with a determined light.

“We thought you were dead.” you looked away from Kie, seeing Pope. You pulled him into a hug. “JJ’s been a mess. He stole 30 Gs off  a drug dealer.”

You smiled slightly, “I’m sorry for leaving like that. And I’m sorry for hiding everything. JJ was right, I haven’t been honest, and that’s not fair, you guys mean the world to me.”

Pope nodded, “You needed time, that’s okay. You’ll tell us when you’re ready.”

You thanked him. “Did JJ go home?”

“I think so.” Kie murmured, and you swore.

“I haven’t even been home yet.” 

There was a whirring behind you, and you all turned, the trees igniting in gold as a stupid amount of fairy lights lit up you small scene. You raised your eyebrows.

“What the hell?” asked Pope, the three of you in matching surprised expressions.

“Who the hell is that?” Kie questioned, leading you and Pope through the trees.

Lights illuminated the clearing outside the Chateau, gold and red shining brightly on the scene before you. A jacuzzi, lit with floating flamingo drink-holders, surrounded JJ, shirtless with a pair of stolen glasses. He held a champagne flute in one hand, and you heard the pop of a bottle opening. The three of you stood across from him.

You could see, plain as anything, he was at breaking point. The combination of the hunt, his dad, and you had unravelled him. I did this, a voice commanded, this was me.

“What did you do, JJ?” Pope asked, taking in the brilliantly lit display.

“I got a jet going straight in my butt right now.” he crooked the glasses, down, looking over the three of you with unfocussed eyes. “Y’all should get in immediately, you hear me?” he sloppily poured a drink “Salud!”

Your heart broke for him. His eyes fell on you, “Y/N?” he slurred, “Y/N! I thought you were-” hiccup, “-dead! You just, uh, you just disappeared.”

“I’m sorry.” you sighed.

“No - no!” he shook his head, voice too gleeful for his words, “I’m sorry!” he tipped his head back as he downed the champagne straight from the bottle.

“How much did this cost?” Pope interrupted.

“Uh… well, with the generator, the petrol, and oh, hey, express delivery…” he chuckled, “pretty much all of it, yeah.”

You kept your eyes on him, knowing that one too many questions would release a dam full of emotions he’d been hiding for years.

“All of it?” Pope stepped forwards.

“Yeah, all of it.” JJ repeated.

“You spent all the money in one day?”

“Pope,” you muttered, knowing JJ wouldn’t last.

“Yeah, burned a hole right through my pocket.” JJ confirmed, gesturing sloppily. “But, I mean, like, come on - guys - like, look at this! Finest in jet-based massage therapy, that’s what they told me!” Kie looked thoroughly unimpressed. “Kie, what? Can’t a man have a little luxury in life?” his voice was hoarse, and you felt worry building in your stomach and pounding at your head. He whipped his glasses off, “Come on, all this scrimpin’ and scrapin’...” his voice went soft, “I mean like - guys, we - you only live once, right? Enough of this emotional shit, get in the Cat’s Ass. Come on!”

“In the what?” you frowned.

“In the Cat’s Ass.” he shrugged, a small, drunk smirk playing at his lips, “That’s what I named her. Oh! Hey, yo, I almost forgot!” he switched a button, and the water lit up, a light flashing as the already bright display got weirder. He was about to break. “Yeah, that’s right, I now. Disco mode! That’s right, baby!”

“Are you kidding me?” Pope cut in, and you squeezed your eyes shut for a second, knowing that he and Kie were pulling at a tether that was seconds from coming loose. “You could have paid for restitution!”

“Or literally given it to any charity!” Kie added.

“Or better yet, you could have helped us buy supplies to get the rest of the gold out of the well!”

“Okay well you know what? I didn’t do that!” JJ burst forwards, showing a selection of purple bruises littering his torso. “I got a hot tub!” you kicked off your shoes, tears building at the thought that the person supposed to love him the most would hurt him like that, “For my friends. I got a hot tub for my friends. You know what? No, you know what? Screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family! I got this for you! Look, guys, look what I did for you! Alright? Look at this! Look at this! No, you stop being emotional. It’s fine, okay?” You stepped forwards as he continued, stepping over the walls of the tub and pulling him in, letting him cling to you. You let him sob on you. “I just couldn’t do it.” He was convulsing with sobs while you tried your best not to, knowing you had to be strong for him. You had to. “I couldn’t take him anymore! I was gonna kill him.” You felt Pope and Kie’s arms wrap around the pair of you, the lot of you wet with tears and hot tub water. “I just wanna do the right thing.”

“I know.” you murmured, stroking his hair and closing your eyes as you tried to keep your breathing steady.

Kie and Pope got out first, leaving after you told them you’d deal with him. You sat him down in the tub again, turning the jets off. You wiped away the last of his tears, gently prying the champagne away from him. You stroked his hair, letting him lean on your shoulder until his breathing returned to normal. You stood up then, helping him out of the tub and guiding him to the bathroom, where you sat him down on the closed toilet seat as you ran a hot bath. You distracted him by reminding him of your best memories since you met him, until the bath was full. You helped him in, washing the chlorine out of his hair, and letting him relax.

You sat on the edge of the tub as he blinked up at you, sobering up quickly. He lifted a hand from the water, touching your waist tentatively.

“Where did you go?” he whispered, the silence pressing down thickly.

“To see an old friend.” you hadn’t thought about your leaving for hours, and now you did, you wondered how broken he’d be when he found out you’d slept with two people while you were gone.

“You went to LA.” he muttered.

“Yeah.” you nodded slowly, touching his cheek, lightly. “I’m sorry.”

He blinked at you, confusion painted in his features. “Why?”

“I left.” you helped him stand up, guiding him out of the bath. You handed him the towel you’d found, leaving him to get him a change of clothes. You picked out a top and joggers, brushing away a stray tear before rejoining him. You turned around while he changed, then lay him down in the spare bed. You draped the blanket over him, changing quickly into the only other joggers you could find, and one of his tops. You lay down in front of him, taking in his bright, cobalt eyes and soft pink lips. 

“Why did you go?” he sounded broken. So broken.

“I felt trapped, like you would all hate me. So I went to see the people who I knew would be there for me, no matter what. Then I realised that, more than anyone, more than my friends in Cali, that was you guys.” he gazed at you, a strange look in his eyes as he processed your words.

“I shouldn’t have yelled.” he closed his eyes, and when he reopened them, there was a teary sheen to them.

“No.” you rejected his claim. “I needed it. I’ve been avoiding it, thinking that would make it all go away. It was stupid. If you hadn’t have yelled, I wouldn’t have gone. And if I hadn’t have gone, I’d have avoided it for the rest of my life.”

He let a tear slip. “I fucked up.” he murmured. “I fucked us up.”

“No. No, I did it. I wasn’t honest. I was so desperate not to repeat what had happened that I pushed you away.”

“What did happen?”

“Where do I start?”

“At the beginning.”

--

Your parents loved each other. They lit up when the other entered the room, and looked at each other like the world revolved around them. They met young, in highschool. Your mom was pregnant with your brother by senior year, and they got married when school was over. Three years later, once they had a house and two steady jobs, they had you. Highschool sweethearts, it always seemed perfect.

You were convinced they were perfect, until you were ten. They had a huge argument, so big, so loud, that the neighbours called the cops, and you and Lewis had to spend the night at friends’ houses. They never argued like that again.

You knew they loved each other, even after that. Over three years later, on the brink of your fourteenth birthday, you noticed they hardly spoke anymore. Family meals stopped, and they avoided each other at all costs. After a few weeks, you came home to a floor covered in glass and crockery, and your parents sitting across from each other crying. Things were perfect for two more years.

Then, she started getting angry. She threw things, hit things, broke things. She took out all of her frustrations on the family, never caring to explain herself.

Your mom lost her job, but was still out all day, everyday. You saw her with another man three months after. When you saw her, you understood something. 

Your mom hated her life. She hated not being able to afford things, not being able to go on holiday, not being able to treat herself. She wanted to live a life more glamorous than what your father could give her. You hated her for it.

You asked her about it the next day.

Your brother and dad got home to see her things packed, and you sitting at the kitchen table, bruises around your neck and a cut over your right eyebrow. The divorce papers arrived within a week. 

She didn’t fight for custody. She didn’t call. She didn’t try to see you.

--

JJ nodded slowly, wiping your tears away with the pad of his thumb. “She’s been calling you.” he murmured.

“She feels bad.” you shrugged, “I had a go at her, she hasn’t called since.”

“Did you see her while you were in LA?” 

“No, she lives in Brentwood, I didn’t want to waste my time there.”

“Fuck her.”

“Yeah.” you smiled, “Fuck her.”

“Y/N?” he whispered, “Thanks for telling me that.”

“Your welcome.” You shrugged.

“Who’s Tyler?”

“My ex.” 

“What did he do to you?”

You searched his eyes, knowing you had to tell him. You took a deep breath.

--

You met Tyler in middle school. He was the tallest in the class by an inch and a half, and the best looking. You were best friends with Cassie, and Cassie’s parents knew his parents, so you were friends by association. You cruised through middle school, skating with him and his friends when you weren’t at school or hanging out with Cassie.

At some point in Freshman year of high school, his friends stopped joining your skating days, and you and Tyler got close. He asked you out near the end of the year, and you said yes. You spent your summer drinking and smoking with Cassie or skating with Tyler, losing your virginity to him just before the start of your sophomore year. You went steadily for a year, letting your relationship become more and more toxic, until he would throw fits if you so much as spoke to another guy. You lost your friends as he tightened his grip around you, keeping you close with threats and bribes. 

He was the only one who was there for you when your mom started cheating, because he was the only one you talked to. You let yourself be vulnerable, and he took advantage of it. You went out with Cassie just before that night with your mom, telling her about your failing relationship and breaking family. She was the one who told you to break up with him. 

You waited three days. 

He took it well. Nodded, didn’t cry, left quickly.

The next day, your life was hell. You got pulled from English by the police, and taken to the principal's office, and sat down. He told you that a load of photos and two videos had been leaked from an anonymous account. Nudes, two sex tapes. You didn’t even know the videos existed. It was all over Instagram, and even a couple of porn sites. 

You didn’t even know. Not until that moment. No one mentioned it, they just gave you funny looks. It all made sense. Your dad came in, they explained it all to him. They traced it to Tyler’s phone, and your dad chose to press charges.

You saw Tyler a couple of times, in huge, explosive fights outside his house. The case was days away from success, days from him being sued, an agreement saying he’d never be able to share them. Then, your mom came back. It had been almost a month, but she came back, taking almost every penny your dad owned.

Unable to afford the lawyer as well as the moving fees, the case fell through. You only found out about the move the next day, talks of it having been circulating for a few weeks. You had three days, and in those days, all of your friends fell out with you, deciding you had chosen to hide it, not believing that you hadn’t known. Your only ally was Cassie. 

You moved, and then, you met JJ.

--

JJ’s eyes were glittering, shining, with fury. He was hurt at the idea that someone would hurt you like that. He wanted to hit something, but given your vulnerable state, tried to remain calm. You nestled into him, breathing sporadic as you processed the fact that you had said it out loud. He ran his hand over the bare skin under your borrowed top, an act of comfort that spoke the thousands of words he didn’t know how to say. The air felt thick with tragedy, hanging over the pair of you like a suffocating blanket. 

The night was raw, painful. Wounds that were hardly healed were torn open, twice as big, exposed, hurtful. Both of you, teenagers who’d been through more than any teenager should have, hurting. You didn’t move for a long time, the comfortable silence consuming you. His breathing was slow, resting. He slipped into a well-deserved slumber, as you listened to his heartbeat. You realised that you felt something for him. You’d never felt it before, not even with Tyler. You felt your heart swell when you thought about him, and contract painfully when you thought about his hurt. You decided you would protect the boy until the day you died, because God knows he needed it. 

Always the protector, helper, giver. He deserved to be protected. He deserved more than what he had, more than you could offer, but it didn’t matter, because as long as you were able to, you’d try and be what he needed, deserved, wanted. It came out as a whisper, breaking the long, peaceful silence. Rough and straightforward, plain and forward, but full of meaning. Full of the emotions you’d hidden from him, the thoughts that plagued you at night, the words you’d tried to push down for weeks now.

“I love you.”

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[punkscowardschampions]

Gen 4.1 Planning

Libi: Okay, so my basic premise for who Libi is going to be at her core, WOO; I was thinking about how we said that she is Tess' second (lowkey third but I'll let you live gal) chance at 'getting it right' and raising a child well, which, OBVIOUSLY, she's never told or anything but there's an innate pressure in that that you'd know on some level, likewise her mum AND dad died so everyone would be quick with those comparisons always, this family and Liam's mum when that contact is made because her daughter died as well as; Then that made me think of the pressure Ro felt because you know, bad shit happened to Bea (Edie and Liam in this case) and then she got saved by McVickers and felt like she owed everyone to be great and do great things; so my vibe is that BUT COMING FROM A LESS SELFISH, WEIRD, PERFECTIONISM ANGLE soz not soz Ro, we know what you did; I see her being better behaved as she grows up, far more than her parents obviously but lowkey better behaved than any of the mcvickers or cali kids ever were because she thinks everyone deserves that, her not causing any more problems, but again UNLIKE Ro, she wouldn't be different to a degree of not fitting in because she'd make a massive effort to be there for everyone and every event, be likeable and get along with as much of the fam as possible, obviously some of that is natural charm but it's also putting in the time ahem Rosaline; like, she's a people pleaser, to a fault, and all she cares about is making everyone else, Tess, Fearghal, Ali, JJ etc etc, happy and making sure she's being what she thinks they want her to be/need her to be, and like that is what makes her happy because she is doing it out of love and respect not obligation but she doesn't know she's doing it, you know? Again, it's innate, how she is, but that's where the arc can come in, in realising that she goes with what makes everyone else happy, is who they need, but what does SHE want herself, and what does SHE need? A way I thought we could make this a Bobby/Libi storyline if we wanted (but we do not have to) is if she does have feelings for him, could be any point on his timeline gfs and kids wise whatever, but she lets him go and have whatever gf or do whatever thing because she's like that's what he wants he doesn't like me or want me like that etc, because she doesn't let herself want things selfishly or do anything just for herself Bobby: we should totally have them be together as little bubs because they are and it's like a running joke that they are gonna get together/get married like we've lowkey already said but more so but maybe the vibe is he is really shy how he is and lowkey it's like a my sister and me vibe where she does all the talking and socialising for him and like all their friends are joint friends Bobby: not in a creepy Ro and Ali way but Bobby: and we will let you outgrow that sir Libi: it makes sense because obviously we're learning sign language so simply Bobby can't communicate with most kids by himself, that's facts, and it's easier to have another kid help you than Jimmy always being there, or whoever he has helping him at school, you know Bobby: oh snap maybe I flip reverse what I said and Cammie's mum is the deaf one too and the vibe could be that like Libi pushes him to get some deaf friends as they become like tweens/teens so he can communicate himself so he does and does become more outgrowing that way but maybe he lowkey leans too hard into deaf culture for a while there and she feels like pushed out by it because it's something she can't be a part of Libi: ooh yeah, that makes a lot of sense Bobby: it adds something to Cammie's character as well being hearing but having two deaf parents so that's interesting Bobby: and also makes sense why JJ have to help them so much as well as them just being young Libi: right, there's a lot of shit Cammie would have to do from a young age if not for JJ lowkey 'cos it's just easier for a hearing kid than it is a deaf adult in this world Libi: her mum could maybe be more partial for ease but yes Bobby: and like it makes sense that Libi would push her feelings aside when those two grow closer/happen because she'd be like well they're both deaf that's something I can't give him and something I want him to have Libi: exactly, it'd feel really selfish to wreck that even if you didn't have all the ingrained shit she does around it Bobby: and obviously he actually wants to be with her as well but thinks she doesn't want that and before you now it there's baby Cammie so it's like well now I gotta try and make this work because don't wanna be a shit father like I had Libi: oh the drama of it all Libi: love it Libi: and we've not really got (that I can think of) a never mind I'll find someone like you type deal Libi: because usually it's like JUST SAY IT but it actually makes sense here to pine and long but let him go Libi: hence I'm here for it Libi: So, what I'm thinking right now is, that they're like never officially together, like it just keeps being an in-joke kinda vibe and like we're JUST best friends and then kind of like family, but obviously as they get into tween/teen years it's beyond a stage you can pretend you're just a kid playing at being girlfriend and boyfriend and as you said boo, that will coincide with JJ wedding and kids roughly so then it'd be more obvious like it's not going to happen seriously, then she can encourage him to get deaf friends etc, but I feel like he should only meet Cammie's mum just before or at uni (or whatever equivalent he's doing after school) so then it is quick and not like they were even mates before so it's less of a shock for all, you know? Bobby: I totally agree because I strongly pictured him being best man at the JJ wedding (soz Pete) and her being one of the bridesmaids and all the bants that go along with that and them both being SO 😳 Bobby: and yeah he could live the cliché that Jac was mocking and literally get with this girl freshers week I'd believe it Libi: Right? it then mirrors the Jameson/Cammie thing except they literally are just BFFs and there isn't anything going on Libi: there's actually weight to this but we're just like haha no don't be silly Bobby: and we've literally not done that trope with childhood boy girl best friends before really because baze are probably the closest but they were always so clearly in love and refusing to fight it so it's fun Libi: exactly, because unknowingly or otherwise, we're fighting against all the cliches and tropes that come with this family Libi: like I'm going to not do any of those things that caused drama for everyone and this is clearly too close to home, even though I don't think anyone would actually be that bothered, we've just really internalized and gone with it Bobby: like how nobody cares Jac is gay except Jac herself Libi: right Libi: but obviously she's good at keeping this all internal because no one can or is gonna clock it and be like, babe, it's okay Libi: like JJ might be a bit like oop, keeping it in the family but as long as you're both happy they really don't care, and same for mcvickers even if Tess is suspish of everyone that comes into any gal's life 'cos trauma lol Bobby: Bobby wasn't trying to make deaf culture happen for himself but Libi would have been so excited for him to get out there and do it that he would've been excited too and then it is literally like a new world opening up because who has he ever interacted with that's deaf before Bobby: didn't mean to lowkey leave you behind gal but Libi: it's kinda her own fault, not to blame you but clearly literally what we do like okay he's happy now mission accomplished Bobby: and maybe Cammie's mum is like the deaf equivalent of those gays who make it their whole identity so she's really selling it and so he also thinks okay this is who I should be with Libi: we know the vibe, like it's more excusable but still, I get you Libi: I see it Libi: a bit of a baby gay equivalent like go too hard and you're like I need to calm this down Libi: UNRELATED BUT Libi: think it will please you Libi: Jay is born 32 like Bobby, I'm pretty sure, and I thought Libi and her would also make for interesting content because Jay obviously feels she owes a lot to the fam for not being stuck with Chloe etc etc and the very little we did with her gave off a similar energy to me Libi: and she has her commitment issues in relationships because of her mum situation so they can bond over the shit that holds 'em back even though it's different stuff Bobby: and her relationship with Ava being her mum but also not being is something I feel like Libi can relate to because of how she was raised and the Rio and Buster-ness of it all because they wanted to raise her and obvs they wanted to raise Jay for a while there too Bobby: plus all the travelling she does is something that Libi could potentially join her in doing if she needs an escape so that's nice Libi: 100% it makes for a strong friendship there's a lot of parallels if not total similarities Libi: it makes a lot of sense, it's coming together baby Bobby: if you need to get away from seeing Bobby literally playing happy families, I can offer you that gal because I'm gonna have her go to uni/live in new york probably now that Nancy isn't because her face actually did live there idk if they still do or what but Bobby: we know the vibe is that she goes everywhere and can't settle so you'll have lots of chances to run away in a way that won't upset anyone Bobby: and when she gets her man and it works out we could totally coincide that because she can be like if I can do it so can you Libi: a mood a moment Bobby: all I know is Bobby is gonna be more chatty because neither Jimothy or Jesse are so I must but not to Jude levels of !!! Libi: a nice middleground Libi: which is kind of what I see for her honestly Libi: less in your face than 1. we were as a little bub 2. a lot of the fam but still sociable enough that it jives well with most of 'em Bobby: I'm so happy about all of this and honestly Cammie's mum being deaf makes so much sense in terms of what we were already thinking about her being more distant and working a lot Libi: if she doesn't give up the fight, she could be some kind of advocate vibe Libi: 'cos then Cammie can't even call her out really Libi: like soz this is important, maam your child Bobby: exactly what I was thinking we're in sync rn boo Libi: because it all makes sense, you gotta follow one thread and then the story shows itself tbh Libi: because tying in Astrid too, obviously that makes sense because she loses her mum too, and she'd ultimately be a really good influence because after Ro dies Astrid is kind of freed to do whatever she wants for herself Libi: and how much happier it makes her, how much she improves...well Libi: sips tea Bobby: I LOVE THIS Libi: and who else is taking the autistic girl that seriously and letting her teach you things Libi: love that for you Libi: she's living her best life and we can see that Bobby: she can be in their friend group, I'm happy Libi: ALSO, I feel as if she couldn't lie to Astrid Libi: because she says how she sees it bluntly and we're not going to feel comfortable fobbing her off because of that insistence, so that'll be good for you even when we're hiding it from everyone else Libi: everyone else you've just got to be vaguely like oh no no and it's dropped and like okay Bobby: we're gonna get to show so many different sides of Libi, I'm always here for that Bobby: and however far we go down the Astrid and her gf eating disorder rabbit hole, we''ll have Libi not treating her like a kid which is great Libi: yeah, there's loads we can do with the end of gen 4 for them all it's a mood Bobby: okay so what or who would you like to throw Libi at first Libi: that is the question Bobby: just so we know Bobby is going to Trinity and studying Business, Economics and Social Studies (B.E.S.S.) which is business, economics, political science and sociology basically so he can end up working at that advertising place with Jimothy after he has done this 4 years Bobby: Cammie's mum is there doing deaf studies which is also 4 years Libi: do we wanna do a rough timeline for these people mentioned here Libi: Jay born 32, we find out about her when she's 7 in 39 Libi: Bobby is born 32 and comes into the story 38 Libi: Libi is born 34, Edam die 35, we know this situation, is 4 soon to be 5 when she meets Bobby vias JJ Libi: Astrid is born 35 and Ro dies in 44 when Astrid is 9 Libi: JJ can get married 46, so Libi is 12 and Bobby is 14 Libi: doesn't have to be when we intro the deaf friends to the point of exclusion obvs but it's timed so we never have the 'real' relationship chat of it all obvs Libi: so Bobby would go to uni in 50-51 and Camie is born 51 start of 2nd year Libi: that gives us this good 4 year period before uni to play with, then obviously we know the vibe of when she's born and making that work etc Libi: Hmm, I think it would make the most sense to do a gap year then stay local, like that's the ideal Libi: because I really think she'd struggle being away from the fam Libi: but I'm kinda thinking maybe to be cruel she DOES go away because it seems like something the fam are like yay about Libi: 'cos she'd try really, really hard to stay but they should at least notice that and she can transfer for a reprieve Bobby: that's really nice actually Libi: she should do her first year in Liverpool, the rest at Trinity Libi: okay, so film studies, it was only 3 years in Liverpool but we're changing to trinity and you do years 1 and 2 (aka whilst Bobby is still there at least for year 1 but I need to check anyway) there and years 3 and 4 at Columbia uni in new york, aka where Jay is Libi: **remind me to check the times but we need to give him a solid bday and I'm changing hers up too Libi: this is just roughly Libi: but this way we can be cruel with it lol

[kurt-nightcrawler]

Handmade Healing: The Beginning

Warren Worthington III x Female Reader ft. Billy Hargrove x Female Reader

Summary: Jubilee is from Beverly Hills, CA. Billy Hargrove is from CA as well, plus they’re both teens in 1983. What if they were friends? Or what if Jubilee’s best friend was Billy’s girlfriend? 

What if our destinies were predetermined? What if things just happen because that’s how life works?

Warnings: language, angst, mentions of sex, and mentions of self-harm.

Word Count: 2.2k

Author’s Note: I will finish this series even if it kills me. You can all hold my word against me. This is supposed to be around 27 chapters, so strap in everyone!

Mutant.

The word was something you thought about often. You were always scared, always worried people would find out. Realize you’re a freak.

No!

No— there was nothing wrong with you, but you needed to be safe— even if it hurt.

You had wings. Butterfly-like wings, but less delicate. They were purple, and no matter how many times you cut them off or shaved them down they always grew back, and they became thicker and stronger each time.

So you cut them once or twice a week and always wore a jacket.

Even though you lived in California, nobody questioned it, not your family, not your best friend, not even your boyfriend.

Besides, it’s Cali, pretty much anything goes.  

Everything was going perfect for you.

And then it wasn’t.

-

Jubilation Lee, also known as Jubilee, was your best friend since primary school. She was bright, spunky, and full of energy— she got you out of your shell and made you social.

Her parents were like your second set of parents, always there when you needed them.

She lived in a much nicer part of town— Beverly Hills to be exact. However, she wasn’t like your typical rich kid from the hills— she was nice to everyone and partied harder on weekends than anyone you knew. You probably wouldn’t know she was from Beverly Hills unless you asked.

-

Jubilee was the one who set you and your boyfriend up. They had some mutual friends, and he seemed like the perfect guy for you— good looks, and he’d get you out of your shell when Jubilee couldn’t.

Billy Hargrove was everything most girls wanted— nice car, an even nicer body, he partied hard and had an attitude to match. You, on the other hand, were quiet, and if people knew who you were it was as “Jubilee’s best friend” or “Jube’s sidekick.” Once you started dating Billy you were then known as “Billy Hargrove’s girlfriend.”

-

As a wise man once said, “Young love— full of promise, full of hope, ignorant of reality.”    

Billy’s dad cheated on his mom with his secretary and wanted a divorce so he could marry her. So Billy and his mom moved from their familiar home to the empty house next to yours.

This led to late night rendezvous, parties, and lots of sex. It was like a teen drama, minus the drama.

However, reality had other plans.

-

You walked into Jubilee’s house. It was quiet, so you took that as your cue to head upstairs into Jubilee’s room.

You knocked on the door. “Jubes, It’s me. I brought Jaws 2.”

The door opened and Jubilee stood there, hair in a messy bun and pajamas on her body.

“Jubes did you wear pj's all day?”

“Yeah, I haven’t bothered to change. I have to pack my stuff.” You set your bag on her bed, ignoring the state of her room.

“Where ya going this time?” The Lee family took random vacations quite often, so this wasn’t much surprise to you. They would usually be gone just for a handful of days, coming back with some souvenirs and stories to tell.

“You know how I like, take a bunch of honors classes and stuff?” You nodded. Jubilee was smart, something people never thought when they saw her, as they never looked past her bright clothes and curly hair.

Their loss.

“Are you going to DC for that one camp? I heard Allen Smith is going to that. Maybe you’ll see him there.” You noticed Jubilee’s eyes were glossy. “Hey, Allen isn’t that bad, plus you may not even see him!”

She quickly rubbed her eyes, “It’s not that.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I’m going to a boarding school in New York!”

“What?!”

“My parents really want me to go. Uh, one of our teachers recommended me to the headmaster and he wants me to enroll as soon as possible. My parents think it’s a good opportunity for me. Meet new people, see new things, stuff like that.”

“But… but... you… You can’t leave Jubes!”

“I have to.”

“Why? Why do you have to go to some boarding school all the way on the other side of the country? Our school is just fine and if your parents have a problem with it they can just wait and send you to some fancy Ivy League college.”

“It’s not like I wanna leave! It’s just… It’s just what’s best. I’m sorry.” You nodded, unsure what to say. Your best friend was leaving you for New York.

“You’ll visit, right...? They, they let you come home for like summer and Christmas?”

“Of course! Of course, I’ll visit. Don’t want me getting pasty do we?” You smiled a little at her joke, a bit happier that she wouldn’t be gone forever.

-

Yet Jubilee never visited. Not for Thanksgiving, and not for Christmas.

She never called or wrote letters either. It was like she just wanted to vanish from everyone’s memory. Her own parents didn’t even mind they never saw their daughter! It made you sick sometimes, knowing they just shipped their kid away from everything she’d ever known— that they sent away your best friend.

Being the not-so-social-butterfly you were you spent more time with your boyfriend, Billy. He’d gotten a job as a lifeguard, trying to save up for a car.

You, on the other hand, engrossed yourself in your studies, hoping to please your parents with a 4.0 GPA, as Jubilee’s school switching stunt made them upset you weren’t also recommended for some smarty pants boarding school.

So you were at the library, getting books and information for your physics project.

Placing a book back on the shelf, you saw curly, dirty blonde hair in the corner of your eye.

You turned around, knowing exactly who it was.

“Billy!”

“Hey, baby, your mom said you’d be at the library so I figured I’d pick you up.”

You squinted your eyes, “What have you got planned, Hargrove?”

He winked, “You’ll see.”

“Alright, just lemme grab my stuff.” You grabbed your bag and headed outside.

“Okay, close your eyes.” You do as he said and laugh a little, feeling somewhat childish. He held your hand and slowly guided you forward.

“Okay, you can open your eyes.”

“Oh my god… Is that?... Billy is that?...” You asked, mouth gaping.

He grinned, “Yep. Just got her today.”

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Congrats baby!” You have him a peck on the lips and open the passenger door.

“You can throw your bag in the back seat.”  

“Billy this is amazing! But... why a Camaro as your first car?”

“Because I like Camaros?... Look, I’ve had my eye on this specific car since New Years. Plus I’m a good driver.” You nodded, a little skeptical, but trusting in his judgment nonetheless.

He started the engine and backed out of the parking lot.  

Loud rock music blasted through the windows as you drove by people, making heads turn. It was a good feeling. Something you hadn’t felt in a while.

You were mindlessly bobbing your head to the music, facing the passenger window.

Billy glanced at you. He gave you a sad smile and put a hand on your thigh.

“You doin’ okay, (Y/N)?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

“Wanna stop somewhere and get food?”

“Sure.”

-

You only got a soda, but you stole a fry from Billy every so often.

“You going to Sarah’s bonfire next Thursday?”

You shrugged, “I dunno. I’m not really friends with Sarah.”

Billy scoffed, “So? I don’t think anyone going is really friends with her.”

“Yeah, but…” You sighed, “I don’t know... I’m not sure I’ll go.” Billy rolled his eyes.

“What?”

“You never go out anymore. Hell, we didn’t even go to homecoming this year!”

“You said you didn’t want to go to homecoming!”

“Yeah, but that’s only because I knew you didn’t wanna go.” Billy pursed his lips for a second before continuing to speak, “Look I know you and Jubilee were really close, but you can’t just shut yourself out from everything.”

“I’m not shutting myself out!”

“Then prove it, princess.”

You glared daggers at Billy. He knew you hated that nickname. He knew!

“Fine asshole. I’ll go to Sarah’s stupid bonfire.” You dipped a fry in your ketchup with a bit too much force. “There, see? I go out.”

He raised his eyebrows and feigned surprise, “Guess I was wrong.” He then ate the fry from your hand.

-

You got home before dark, however, your house was dark inside, meaning you were home alone.

You walked into your room and sighed and set your bag on your bed. You kicked your shoes off and laid on your back. You squirmed a bit, having some uncomfort.

Getting up, you headed to the bathroom. You turned on the light and locked the door shut, then you took your jacket off.

You admired your back in the mirror, “Okay so they’re not noticeable from under my shirt—” You took your shirt off and gazed at your shoulder blades. “Okay, I should shave tomorrow. Yeah. Shave tomorrow, that’ll be good.”

When your parents got home you told them you already ate and were heading to bed. They didn’t question it and bid you sweet dreams.

-

You pressed snooze at least five times, for it was a weekend.

You only woke up when your mother banged on your door repeatedly. “(Y/N) get up! Get up!”

“Just give me a minute!” You tied your hair up in a scrunchie, and changed your sweatpants for leggings, leaving on the baggy shirt you wore to bed.

“What do you want?”

“It’s the Hargroves.” Your heart was pounding. Was Billy okay? Was his mom alright?  

“They were in a car accident. Billy and his mom are in the hospital right now—” You pushed past your mother and ran to the kitchen. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To the hospital! I need to know if they’re okay!”

-

Your mom had a cow when she saw you take her car to the hospital, worried you’d get into an accident yourself, but you didn’t care.

After parking, you made your way into the hospital lobby.

“Um, hi. Hi. I’m here to see Billy Hargrove.”

The woman looked you up and down before responding, “He’s not taking any visitors right now. Only family can see him.”

“We are family.” You spat. The woman looked taken back and stuttered out an apology and his room number. You didn’t even thank her, you were so quick on your feet, hurrying to see if he was okay. And his car…

Oh god. He just got the Camaro— Unless it was his mom’s car. Maybe his mom’s car was in the wreck. Either way, it was a messy situation.

You slowed down and started mentally counting the room numbers— looking for Billy’s.

“333… 334… 335… 336.” Billy’s hospital room. You had no idea where his mom was, but that didn’t matter right now. You just needed to know Billy was alright. You couldn’t have someone close to you taken away, not again.

-

“Um, hi. I’m Billy’s girlfriend, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).” You awkwardly waved at the doctor.

“Oh, yes. Hello, I’m Dr. Marcus. We called your parents.”

“Yeah, I came down quickly as I could. Is he okay?”

“Billy will be fine. His biggest injury is a minor sprain in his wrist.” You tried to get a good look at him. He was sleeping, arm wrapped up, and a bruise on his face.

“How about I explain what happened outside?” You nodded and stepped out of the room.  

“Dr. Marcus, what happened exactly?”

“A man went through a red light as Billy was driving. He t-boned their Ford Fairmont.”

At least it wasn’t his Camero.

“What happened to—”

“Where is he?” A deep voice asked. You turned to look at the man.

Great, he’s here.

“Mr. Hargrove, Billy’s asleep right now.”

“What is she doing here?” He sneered at you.

“We called (Y/N) up here. I’m telling her what happened to Billy and Helen.”

“I don’t know why she needs to be here! She’s just his damn girlfriend. All she does is cause trouble and get others blamed for it. Wearing her stupid jacket all the time, and getting her friend sent to boarding school.”

“That—”

“Don’t interrupt me.” You suddenly wished you were twenty times smaller, or that you could turn invisible.

“(Y/N), how about you wait inside for Billy to wake up while I speak to his father?” You scurried back inside the hospital room.

-

You tried to make out what they were saying, but you couldn’t.

It wouldn’t matter anyway, for Billy was starting to wake up.

He let out a groan, probably adjusting to waking up. “Hey, baby. How are you feeling?” He blinked a few times and tried wiping the sleep away from his eyes.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yeah, baby, it’s me. The hospital called. I came down here to see you.”   

“Aw fuck.”

“What is it?”

“They called him too didn’t they?”

You didn’t answer; you didn’t have to. Billy knew they’d call his dad.

“God damn it,” He groaned.

“I’m sure he’ll leave after they give him some more info. You know he doesn’t stay too long for anything.” Billy just rolled his eyes in response.

-

Dr. Marcus entered the room alone. “Your dad’s leaving, but he’ll be here tomorrow to take you home.”

“I wanna stay here with my mom until she recovers. He doesn’t need to pick me up.”

“About that…”

Tag List: @mooniessuniverse @warrentrash 

[a-kayy47]

Learning to Live

I never knew how to be on my own until it was the only option I had. My childrens father had pushed me past my limits. I had let a lot slide in our relationship of the last 7 years, the drugs, the cheating, the occasional beatings, but when I came home and find him in OUR bed with his little tart of a girlfriend and drugs in the house I was officially done! That was our one agreement nothing was to come into our home and be around the kids. I silently thanked God for never letting me marry that man. As soon as I walked in and saw that I calmly turned and walked out and into my daughter's room and started packing her stuff. "Anna she doesnt mean anything to me!" Johnny said as he entered Rayne's room. I scoffed "Isn't that what they all say, Johnny you know Im not even mad anymore. We haven't loved each other in a long time and the only reason I've stayed is because I never thought I could make it on my own. But being on my own would never be as bad as watching the father of your children and a man thats supposed to love you do this right in front of you're face." I said folding Rayne's clothes and putting them in her duffle bag. "Come on dont do this! The kids won't understand." Johnny said grabbing my arm and trying to pull me up. "Let go of me Johnny!" I seethed. "You're not taking my kids away from me!" He said tightening his grip on my arm. "Like you spend time with them anyway." I remarked which earned me a backhand to the face. "Go ahead Johnny slap me around some more it wouldnt be the first time, but it'll sure as fuck be the last!" I said through gritted teeth. That earned me a black eye and a bust lip along with a few cracked ribs I'm sure of. After he was done he gotdressed and left for his afternoon shift like nothing ever happened.

Setting against my daughters bed holding my newly brused ribs all I could do was laugh, how could I be so foolish to stay in a relationship with someone like this for so damn long! I had no more tears to cry. I pulled myself up off the floor and went back to packing my daughter's duffle bag, if I wanted to have our stuff packed by the time the kids got home from school I only had a couple hours. I finished packing Rayne's duffle bags and set them by the top of the steps and moved to Jameson's room to start packing his. After I got everything packed I carried the 6 bags down to the garage and packed them into my Tahoe. After putting the bags into the suv, I went and sat on the front steps waiting for the kids to get off the bus.

Three o'clock rolled around and the bus stopped in front of the house. I watched my two beautiful babies get off and run full force towards me. "Hey momma" Jameson my seven year old greeted me as he sat down beside me. "Hey babies how was your day?" I asked trying to be as normal as I could before I completely up rooted their lives. "Good. Momma whats wrong with your eye?" My 5 year old daughter Rayne asked. She's always been the one to notice the little things "Let's go inside babe and I'll explain everything." I told them getting myself up letting out a wince from my ribs being moved.

"What's going on momma?" Rayne asked. Jameson and her looking intensely at me. "I hate to do this to you babies but...we have have to leave. There is a lot about your dad that you don't know and momma feels that this isn't a safe place for you anymore. So we're going to go on a little roadtrip." I told them holding back tears and trying to make this 'little roadtrip' fun. "Where we going?" Jameson asked. "Where do you guys wanna go?" "Let's go see Aunt Brit!" Rayne said excitedly. "Yeah, I miss her and we havent seen her since she lived in Georgia and thats been like 2 years ago." Jameson replied giving me puppy dog eyes. "Well I guess I could give her a call and shee where she living now and if she'd be up for some company for a while." I told the kids. "Yayyy!" The kids high fived and celebrated with each other. "Okay, Now I already packed your clothes so go grab whatever else you want to bring and put it in the duffle bag that's laying on top of your beds. And remember we wont be coming back here for a very long time so get the stuff you absolutely cant live without. While you guys do that I'll call Aunt Brit." I told them and they scurried up the stairs.

Setting at the bottom of the stairs I dialed Britni's number. After three rings I get an answer. "Hello" Brit greets me. "Hey B how ya been?" I asked almost on the brink of tears. Britni and I haven't talk for a couple years ever since she found out about me knowing that Johnny was cheating on me and using drugs to her I was a fucking idiot and derserved better and she wasn't going to sit around and watch it happen. Good thing she didn't know about the occasional beatings. "Annie?! That you?" She asks halfing yelling. "Yeah it's me, this a bad time?" I ask. "Absolutely not! Let me step out of the garage so I can hear ya better. So what's up? How's the kids?" "They're good. But I do have a favor to ask." I tell her getting straight to the point. "Sure, anything for you and those babies!" She told me. "I'm leaving Johnny and I have no where to go." I muttered out feeling ashamed that it's took this long for me to leave. "Baby girl you know you and those kiddos always have a place with me. I'm just glad you finally left that basturd! I'm working at a garage out in Cali and got a two bedroom apartment just around the corner from the shop. You come on out babygirl I got you!" She told me which brought a smile to my face. Knowing that someone that isn't even related to me could be there for me at the drop of a hat. But then again she always has been since kindergarten. " Thank you so much. You don't even know how thankful I am!" I told her. "Shut your mouth bitch and get your ass out here I miss you and the squrits!" Britni said chuckling. "As soon as they come down from packing toys I'll be on the road! We miss you too something fierce." I told her hearing footsteps coming down the stairs. "Okay, I'll text you the address to the shop cause I'm here 75% of the time." She said inhaling sharply. I figured she was taking a smoke break while talking to me. "Awesome love you babe see you soon!" I told her standing up and turning around to see the kids standing there holding their backpacks ready to go. "Love you to babe. I gotta get back to work keep checking in through." She told me sternly. "Promise." I told her and we ended the call.



"Well babes it sounds like we're heading to California!" I told the kids laughing seeing their jaws drop. They've never been further than Georgia and that was the last trip we took. "That's clear across the country!" Jameson explained. "It sure is baby we have a very long trip ahead of us." I told them walking towards the garage. Coming from West Virginia to California was about a 40 hour drive with no stopping. "Alrighty do you have everything you need or want?" I asked one last time before we got settled in the car to start our journey. "Yepp we got everything momma." Rayne answered. "Let's get buckled in then and get going."

By now it was already 5 o'clock and we haven't even left the county. I figured we better stop and fill up with gas and get some snacks and about 10 ice coffees if I was going to drive through the night. By the time we got back on the road I received a text from Brit with the address of the auto shop she was working. Brit may be a bit ditzy but there was one thing that bitch was good at an that was fixing cars. She had the life that I had always wanted. Getting to travel all over, not being tied down, now don't get me wrong I love my kids to death and would go to war for them but it was never in my agenda to have two kids and an a steady boyfriend at 25 but there I was watching my best friend living the life I had always wanted.

After about the fifth hour of being on the road the kids was fast asleep and that gave me time to drown in my thought. Was I really doing this? Where the hell had I grew the balls to leave? I'm on my own rasing two kids. I'm going to be alone forever, no man in his right mind will ever want a plus size single mom with baggage. I mean I'm not huge at least I don't think so but after having two kids and a love for some good food I'm about a good 16,18 jeans of course my big ol' ass and hips takes up most of the room. And if I do say so myself I've got a pretty nice full rack, and have two full sleeves of tattoos which I've always got compliments on. That and my long black hair with my olive complexion is what first attracted Johnny to me. Wait fuck Johnny dont think about that prick. After that thought is when I turned on my favorite station and started to drown out my thoughts.

Stevie Nicks' voice filled the vehicle and pushed all the negitive thoughts out of my head making me focus on her voice and the road. After another 3 hours of driving I decided it was probably a good idea to stop and get a hotel room for the rest of the night.

Pulling into the rundown motel parking lot, I looked back at my two sleeping kids and thanked the lord of giving me such wonderful blessings even though their dad was a dick, they was perfect. Getting out of the car I opened Jameson's door first and gentley nudged him awake. "Wake up baby." I whispered. "Mommy where are we?" Rayne asked waking up rubbing her eyes along with Jameson. "We're at a motel somewhere in Missouri." I told them unbuckling Jameson then moving to Rayne. None of us slept well in that shitty motel but it was better than nothing. The next morning around 10 we got back on the road. I drove for about 12 hours straight that day and only pulling over at a truck stop to sleep. It wasn't that I was really watching my money since I had been saving all of my tips from the salon for the last 12 months for this trip and working at one of the best salons in three county I made bank. It was the fact that I couldn't sleep in hotels, everytime I would fall asleep I would wake back up thinking that Johnny had found us. Not that he would come for me but he'd come for the kids. This driving for 8 sleeping for 8 had become a routine for us for the last couple of days. And was working pretty well.

After four days of driving and sleeping at trucks stops we was finally in Navada. "Alright kids, you can get unbuckled let's go in and get some snacks!" I told them as I got out. Walking in the the gas station I noticed about four bikes on the opposite side of the gas pump's and smiled it had been so long since I'd been on the back of a bike.

"Okay, now you can get whatever you want but remember you have to eat good food before your candy." I told the kids. As they went picking out their snacks I grab a bottle of water and a blue powerade. When I gathered the kids up I noticed two of the bikers were standing in front of us in line. 'Sons of Anarchy' I thought to myself taking in the kutte. Hearing a Scottish accent they drew my interest more, making me think of Brit she was always a sucker for a man with an accent especially a Scottish one. I watched as the men payed for their gas and cigarettes and walked back out to their bike.

Putting our stuff on the counter for the cashier to ring up and prepaying for gas I handed her cash and picked up our bag.

I got the kids settled into their seat and the snacks passed out then I went to pumping gas still kind of being to nosy for my own good. I couldn't help it though there was something about those bikers that drew me in. As I was eavesdropping I heard the sexiest voice I have EVER heard. Peaking over the pump to see where that husky voice was coming from I looked into the darkest eyes I've ever seen and from that moment on I was hooked. All I got was a subtle wink and I was weak in the knees. I finished pumping and got back into the car and immediately called Brit to tell her about this dark eyed mystery man.

000000000000000

"Talk to me. " Brit answered after the third ring. "Holy Shit I think I'm in love!" I said with a smile on my face. "What the fuck are you talking about? You smoking again?" She asked full out laughing. "Bitch this ain't funny I'm dead serious! We locked eyes over the gas pump, his eyes were so dark it was like he was looking straight to my soul!" I told her with excitement. Good thing the kids had their headphones on so they couldn't hear me gushing about this mystery man. "Chick you really are sex deprived aren't you." She replied to the statement. "Yes but thats beside the point, Im fucking serious. Plus he was with a MC, had Sons of Anarchy on his kutte, along with the other three that was with him. And his friend had an Scottish accent so I can bang dark eyes you bang the scot!" I said acting like we was in highschool again making a plan on how to bang these random guys we didnt even know. All I heard on the other like was Holy Shit and Britni laughing hysterically. "Whats so funny bitch?" I asked "Was you in Navada when you seen these guys?" She asked me. "Yeah why?" I replied confused as to how she knew that. "You'll see when you get here horndog." She said laughing and then hung up. I looked at my phone disgusted. What the fuck was this bitch talking about? Now not only can I not get this mystery man out of my head but now Im thinking about what I'll have awaiting me when we get there.

- In Charming

Brit's POV

Hanging up with Annie all I could do was laugh, Bitch had no idea what she was walking into. As I was walking across the lot from the garage to the clubhouse the guys that we had just been talking about pulled in. "Hey baby how was the run?" I asked my ol' man leaning in for a kiss. " Good as can be expected lovey." He answered in that deep Scottish accent I love oh so much. "Whats goin' on here?" He asked wrapping his arm around my shoulders and leading me into the clubhouse. "Well...there is something I need to talk to you all about." I said sweetly. "What did ye do know lovey?" He asked taking the shot of whiskey the prospect gave him. "You remember me talking about my best friend Annie and her kids? And how her kids sperm donor is a piece of shit and beats on her and is a druggie piece of shit?" I asked getting angry and clenching my teeth just thinking about what all he's done to her. "Easy there darlin' might blow a fuse." Tig joked. "I just hate his fucking guts. She deserves so much better." I told them. "Okay well what about her?" Chibs asked trying to get me back on track. "Well she finally left him and she'll be here." I was telling him before my phone interrupted me. "Well actually she's here now." I said with a little chuckle. "Listen don't worry she knows how this life works, we grew up in my Uncle's clubhouse so she knows the part and let me tell ya she plays it way better than me." I said laughing. "Well fellas I guess lets go meet the lass." Chibs said as Happy and Tig followed us out to the lot curious to see whonthis Annie was.

ANNIE'S POV

I pulled into the lot and it was stepping back in time. It reminded me so much of Uncle Tommy's clubhouse. "Alright darlings we're here." I said letting out a breath I didnt realize I was holding. "Mommy why are we here?" Jameson asked. "This is where Aunt Brit works. We have to meet her here first then we'll follow her to her house." I explained to both of them. While the kids were getting unbuckled I quickly checked my hair and put on some mascara and chapstick. I took one more quick glance in the mirror and saw Britni followed by three guys making their way toward us. I decided it was time to get out, as I got out I pulled the distressed demin shorts down a little in the front so they wouldnt look so short and pulled my shirt up a little so I wasn't showing so much cleavage. "Bitch!!" I heard as I was opening the back door for the kids to get out. I automatically got a huge grin as soon as I heard her voice I had been to damn long since I had seen my best friend. I turned around and immediately stopped when I seen him. It was him dark eyes from the gas station! I was frozen. My heart was pounding out of my chest! As I stood standing there like an idiot the kids took off running to Britni.

"Hey kiddos! You've gotten so big look at you!" Britni said talking a good look at them.

"I'm seven now Aunt Brit!" Jameson told her a little cocky. "Well you're almost a man!" Brit said with a slight chuckle. When I heard her laugh I snapped out of my trance and started paying attention to the exchanges between my children and the Aunt they haven't seen in years. "And look at you babygirl I can't believe how beautiful you are! I'm so glad you took after your mother and not your ugly ass daddy." She said laughing and looked at me. I just rolled my eyes and laughed. Why don't you kids go play over on the swing set while me and your momma talk?" Britni said looking at them. "Can we momma?" Rayne asked. "Go on." I said smiling and kissing both of them on top of the head before they took off running for the pay ground.

"How was the trip?" She asked pulling out a cigarette and handing it to me with a look knowing that I needed one. "It was good the kids were great. They're actually excited about starting over." I remarked taking a hit of the Marlboro red. "So you gonna introduce us to this beautiful women or what?" Tig said looking me up and down. "Shut up Tig you pervet fuck!" She told him. I couldn't help but let out a laugh. "Annie this is my ol'man Filipe or Chibs as most people know him by." She said with a smile plastered to her face. "Nice to meet you!" I said as I studied him a little better, then my eyes went wide! He's P the guy with the accent I thought to myself. " Aye, nice to meet ya lass I've heard lots about ya and thee rugrats." He said with a smile shaking my hand. Yepp that's confirmed, I thought to myself. "That pervet there is Tig." "Nice to meet ya doll." Tig said as he grabbed my hand and kissed it. Dark eyes just rolled his eyes at Tigs gesture. "And that's Happy the grouchy fuck." She said and looked at me with a shit eatting grin on her face. My heart stopped. I could not believe that he was here she knew exactly who I was gushing about! That bitch. "Hi." I said shyly. All I got was a head nood but that was good enough for me.

[haileybeehappy]

David Dobrik, babysitting

You had been working with kids since you were a kid yourself. Josh and Page knew that and asked you and Dave to watch Max for a few hours. You both gladly accepted. When the friday afternoon came, you had just gotten off work and were making both you and david a home cooked meal when the couple arrived. They were reluctant to leave their son but deserved a night off so you shooed them away.

“He is going to be fine, better then fine,” You screamed before shutting the door. David was already holding the little boy when you turned around. He had the infant tucked against his chest walking around the living space calming the whimpering baby. Within a few minutes the boy was again fast asleep. You smiled widely and moved to the kitchen to finish making the meal. You felt the need to keep an eye on Dave and Max, you felt bad for not completely trusting the man but he is basically just a grown man child himself. You knew he would never hurt another soul, a baby at least. You finished cooking and dished up the food moving to the couch where David was sitting, he was talking to Max like he would anyone else in the world. No baby voice or facade.  

“You know kid, one day me and you are gonna be best friends. I am going to be your Uncle David and I am gonna buy you anything you want in the whole world even if your parents say no. Especially if your parents say no. Also you are gonna be the little ring bearer.” You just stood there listening to the love of your life falling deeper into that feeling. You shake yourself out of it and walk around the couch setting the plates on the large coffee table.

“Let me see him, my turn,” You smile and reach for the child. He gently hands over the baby. Then reaching to grab the grilled chicken and veggies. What you call the stereotypical Cali meal. He shoves a few bites in his mouth, watching you interact with Max. He can’t help but smile at the sight of you holding the baby, cooing and talking to him. His small hand clasped around your finger.

David had been so helpful through the time you watch the child, he helped feed and even change the child. Smiling the whole night and when his parents came to collect him david almost didn’t hand him over.

“But, I mean you guys can just make another? Why can’t I keep him?” He jokingly whines as you settle Max into his carseat. All of you know he’s joking, so smiles are stretched across the faces of all four of you.

“Thank you so much for watching him, we’ll definitely have to return the favor someday,” Paige says smirking.

“Yeah, maybe we can watch this one for you,” Josh laughs gesturing to David, causing me and Paige and I to giggle and earning a glare from David.

After the new parents left you and David settled on the couch watching Netflix.

“We should have a baby,” David said out of nowhere in the middle of the movie.

“You wanna have a baby? At twenty two? With a woman you aren’t married to?”

“Yes, we aren’t that young anymore, twenty two is not too young to have a kid, and why wouldn’t I want to have a kid with you. Married or unmarried, and if you want to get married before having a kid, then let's do it. I already know that you are the woman I am going to spent the rest of my life with so why not?” You sat and thought for a second.

“Why the hell not?” he smiled wider then you had ever seen him. You stopped him before he could say anything. “But having a kid is nothing like tonight. We are going to get like zero sleep, and we’ll be changing diapers and feeding like every two hours for like, ever and that's just the tip of the iceberg,”

“I know, and that makes me even more excited,” he has his hands wrapped around mine.

“The fuck yeah, let’s have a kid.” He just kisses me.

[jotun-appologist]

So my hometown we get 9in of rain average, when not in a drought because Cali is just like that.

But places I have though of moving get a lot of rain. Reykjavik has the bonus of snow and cold weather and always being dark, (and black sand beaches.) Glasgow is just pretty and foggy, but islenska is much easier than Scottish Gaelic.

Rain, snow, cold, and dark is my ideal climate because I am happiest when it's cold and wet, I am extremely sensitive to sunlight both vision and skin wise (which of course will be worse if I get isotetronin (accutane) but is also worsened by the retin-A and differin I'm on.)

I also like fog and foothills and green.

Both have universities I possibly wanna transfer to. (I actually almost went to Glasgow but I turned it down because I didn't know it was in Scotland lol. 17yo me was dumb.)

Reykjavik is my first choice, but I know options are necessary.

Besides the program I want is a grad program so I still need to get my BA first. It's way in the future.

fiance likely gets his AA in fall, (I get mine in a few months!) And we're hoping to transfer to CU Boulder. And yes, entirely for Dr Jackson Crawford. (I wanna learn old Norse from cool youtube cowboy.) But the anthropology program is also really good there and so is their history department, so both our majors are covered.

And I can learn old Norse and Norwegian while I do the online Icelandic program for Reykjavik U.

And of course in the meantime while he finishes his AA I'm gonna try and do TAC ambassador training, and gothi/clergy program if I can save up for it. I'm scheduled to get checked for asthma this friday, I drop of my ssi paperwork tomorrow, I get new glasses next month, and see the dermatologist about accutane, and the most nerve wracking is June when I have to go to a big city to get consultation about bariatric surgery. Still going to therapy, haven't gotten a new psychiatrist yet but theres still construction and moving going on there. I'll eventually talk to my gyno again and pester him till he actually checks me for endo. And maybe get my teeth cleaned, and see if my spine is still degrading super fast (not a hunchback yet but I will be later on.)

All in all I'm just hopeful for the future and trying to keep my energy up and spiritually prepare for what I see coming. Including the little girl with curly red hair that I see in my dreams every night. I dont know when she'll be here, but I know I want to give her the best life ever

[ahhyessir]

Under The Mistletoe || Self-para

It was an Anoa’i family tradition to go to Gulf Breeze and enjoy the light show after taking pictures with Santa, and just because he and Galina were divorced didn’t mean that was going to change. The pair were doing what they could to make sure that the kids understood that regardless, they were still a family and that was never to change. For the most part co-parenting with Galina was much easier than he had thought it would be. He had expected things to change when he introduced Nicole into the equation as more than just his friend, but he found that his ex wife seemed entirely okay with him moving on, and while she didn’t exactly welcome Nicole with open arms, she didn’t give her the cold shoulder either.

But all that changed the moment the twins started to ask for Nicole, the three of them having finally bonded after making gingerbread houses. It took almost ten minutes of them repeating Coco before the large Samoan realized they were asking for his girlfriend and not the movie or the drink. The twins didn’t exactly like many people and the fact that they were asking for Nicole as if they liked her was a good sign but the look that passed over Galina’s face said otherwise. With her lips pursed into a thin line and her nostrils flared, he knew she was upset. They had been together long enough for him to know all the signs, especially when they were so clearly written across her face.

His truck was eerily quiet as he pulled into the driveway of the home that he had once called his. He had given Galina the house in the divorce more so for the kids, so they didn’t have to be ripped from the security of their home and placed into a whole new one when they were already having to deal with the blow of their parents breaking up right in front of their eyes.

For a while things had been bad—all the late night arguing and the fighting— they had done what they could to shield the kids from seeing any of it, seeing mommy and daddy at each other’s throats over little things because they were too scared to admit the truth that maybe they shouldn’t be together anymore, but their kids were smarter than that. So when Jojo offhandedly asked them if they were happy in between bites of her waffles with inquisitive eyes bouncing back and forth between the two of them, the two adults had no choice but to face the cold reality of the situation. They weren’t happy and they were only sticking it out because they wanted the kids to grown up in a home with their parents stayed together, but it wasn’t going to happen.

They had fallen out of love with each other.

Now as he watched the mother of his children pull one of the twins from his car seat and hold him against her chest to take him into the house up to bed, Joe still felt love for her but it wasn’t the same. He was always going to love her but there was nothing romantic there anymore, the spark was gone.

It took a few different bedtime stories and singing baby shark with the twins a couple times before they finally went to bed. Jojo was out like a light before her head even hit her pillow after having already been sleep in the car on the way home. All three of them each received a kiss on the forehead and tucked into bed before he shut off the lights and headed back downstairs.

“No tears this time?” Galina looked up from her spot on the couch where she was curled up. Joe was surprised that she was even speaking to him now after how quiet she had been, but he shrugged his shoulders and didn’t say anything himself to avoid arguing with her as he walked to the front door. He knew how riled up she could get. “You know you don’t have to go....”

“Don’t start, G. I told you last week I was going to Cali.” The two of them seemed to be having more and more discussions about the trips that Joe was taking, whether he was going backstage to PPV to support his co-workers and friends, or if he was going somewhere Nicole. He always made sure that it never interfered with his time with the kids, but he was throwing it back in his face more and more lately. 

“Yeah, I already know you need to go make time with you precious little Nicole.” There was so much venom in the way she said her name that Joe could only shake his head. He had assumed they could all be adults about this, but clearly he had been wrong. “I meant you could spend the night.”

Joe furrowed his brows and blinked at her a few times, watching as she stood up from the couch and walked over to him, “When have I ever spent the night?”

“You did last month.” She was standing dangerously close, so close that he had to place his hands on her shoulders and gently push her back a few steps. He knew exactly what she was trying to do. She was being petty because it was obvious that Nicole wasn’t going anywhere and maybe that made her feel threatened, like she could easily be replaced. 

“Cause you all had food poisoning. It wasn’t even on some me trying to get close to you type shit and you know that.” He reminded her, keeping one hand on her shoulder when it appeared that she wasn’t going to stop trying to get closer to him. Her hand worked up his chest, resting there as she looked up at him with those dark browns that used to be able to do so much to him. Those same dark eyes flickered up over Joe’s head, drawing his own attention up to find mistletoe hanging just above the front door right above his head. 

The moments that followed happened so quickly that it nearly made his head spin. When he looked back down at her, her hand was gripping his jacket and pulling him down and closing the space between the two of them...their lips touching in a kiss. It took maybe half a second before he realized what was happening and he pushed her away quickly.

“What the fuck, G? What the hell was that? You know I’m with Nicole” He was in shock more than he was actually upset. He couldn’t believe she would actually do something like that.

“Like I said....you don’t have to leave.” She didn’t move any closer to him but there was a small gleam of hope in her eyes when she looked at him.

“No, I really think I need to cause you’re tripping right now.” He could only shake his head.

“I’m the one tripping but you’re parading some bitch around my kids.” Her words caused his shock to turn into pure anger, but he did what he could to keep it together. This wasn’t the time or the place to argue about this. 

“First of all, don’t call her out of her name and she hasn’t done a damn thing to you but be nice,” he warned her, his voice was low.

“That’s bullshit. She’s trying to play step mommy. I don’t want her around my kids, and I mean that, Joe.” She folded her arms across her chest. He couldn’t help but laugh at her, but there was an edge to the sound. 

“So now they’re your kids? But any time you need me to take them or pay for something extra, they’re our kids, or they’re my kids, right?”

She rolled her eyes. “Do I look like I’m kidding? You keep seeing that girl and you won’t have to worry about taking them or paying for anything extra cause I will take you back to court and you won’t be able to see them.”

Her words hit him like punches to the gut, each one landing just the way she wanted them to. She wanted to hurt him and she succeeded. He really didn’t think she could be this petty just because he was moving on with someone else. He would never pull this kind of stunt if and when she decided to move on. 

“And what are you going to tell the judge? That I shouldn’t get to see my kids because I wanna marry someone else?” He lifted his dark brows but didn’t want for her to wait for her to answer the question. In the heat of the moment, he didn’t realize the weight his words would truly hold. It was something he hadn’t admitted out loud, let alone to himself even in thought. “You and I both know that shit won’t fly so you need to chill out.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” She nodded her head and gestured towards the door. “Get out my house and go run to Nicole like we both know you really wanna do.”

He didn’t say anything as he walked out the house, but the thought of his kids being taken away from him over something so petty was weighing heavily on his mind the entire ride home, and would continue to plague him.

[lostinreveriefiction]

Once In A Lifetime. [Juice Ortiz x Reader]

[@homicialteenagedream requested: Juice Ortiz / You were in all my dreams, It’s you that I adore - You’ll always be my whore & I promise one day I’ll come back for you.]

Warnings: None.

A/N: There will be a part two to this. So, I hope you all stay tuned. 

“(Y/N), baby, you up there? I got a surprise!” Juan Carlos called, and you ran to the window of your room, looking down at him as he sat perched on a brand new – to him – motorbike.

“Oh my god, where did you get that?” You yelled back, leaning out the window with a smile on your face.

“Finally had enough saved. Want a ride?” He asked with a wink before grinning like a kid.

Without saying another word, you ran to your bedroom door and downstairs to grab your coat and shoes.

“Out with that boy again?” Your mother yelled and you sighed. She never liked Juan Carlos – in fact she downright hated him, and if she knew that you were about to head off on the back of a motorbike with him, then she’d never let you out the house. 

“No, uh, just out with a friend,” you replied, leaving the house before she could comment any further on the matter.

Running down the porch steps, you practically danced into his arms as he planted a kiss on your neck, before pulling back to kiss his lips. When you separated, you ran your hand along the smooth leather of the seat and smiled at him.

“This is so cool,” you said, looking back at him as he smiled again. “Girls in your neighbourhood will be all over you.”

Juan Carlos stepped up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him, nuzzling your neck slightly and leaving another kiss there.

“Too bad I’m already taken, huh?” He said, soothing your fears and making you smile. “Wanna hop on?”

“Don’t I need a helmet?” You asked, ever cautious.

“Oh, shit! I never thought about that. I only have the one.”

“It’s fine, I’ll go without,” you replied, swinging a leg over the bike and patting the seat in front of you.

“No! You take this,” he said, placing the black helmet on your head and strapping it under your chin. “I’m not gonna go too far, so we should be ok.”

Holding yourself back, Juan Carlos hopped on in front of you and you slid down, wrapping your arms around his waist and snuggling up to him as started up the bike.

“Oh wow,” you said, feeling the vibration between your legs. “That’s uh…”

“Yeah, I thought you’d like it,” he chuckled, before pulling out of the driveway and heading off.

“Where are we going?” You yelled, feeling the wind on your face as you went.

“You’ll see!” He yelled back, and you held on tightly to him, watching the world speed by.

 The bike came to a slow and you unclipped the helmet before hopping off the bike and placing the helmet on the seat. This was the place you and Juan Carlos used to always come whenever you had the time to make the journey. It was a quiet place by the river, the traffic was bustling close by, but it was quiet enough, and the view of the city from that little patch next to the river made a nice distraction. 

“We can come here all the time now,” you said, stepping to the water’s edge to take a seat on the ground. “Just you and me.”

Juan Carlos came over and sat down next to you, placing his arm around you as you relaxed into him. He kissed the side of your head, and you felt a note of tension in the air, not anything too big but there was something there. 

“I need to talk to you about something,” he stated, and a nought appeared in your stomach. This was going to be something you didn’t like.

“Ok,” you replied, pulling back to look at him.

“There’s an opportunity I have. It’s a job, a good job with great money and well, it’s one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ type of things, you know?”

“That’s great, baby! You have to go for it!” You chimed, your stomach settling slightly as you beamed at him.

“It’s in Cali,” he added, and you withdrew slightly. “I want you to come with me.”

“J, I can’t just up and leave – you know that. I have too much going on here, what with my Mom and-“

“I know that, but surely there are other people who can-“

“There’s no one,” you stated, sighing slightly. “You may as well just break up with me.”

“What? No! Baby, we can find a way.”

“There isn’t one. J, the only way you and I can be together, is if you stay here,” you admitted, feeling the sting yourself.

“But I’ve been thinking about it - well, I dreamt it actually – we move out there, you get a job doing what you love and then when we’re established, we can get married and then in a couple years maybe we could have a little mini Juan running around, huh?”

Juan Carlos took your hands in his and you looked into his eyes, seeing the need practically pour from them. Your heart, already starting to break, was pounding in your chest as you realised that this was probably it for the both of you. Taking his hand to your mouth you kissed it and pressed it to your cheek before accidentally letting a tear slip from your eye.

“Baby, don’t cry,” he begged. 

“It sounds amazing. Perfect, actually, but I can’t J, I just can’t.”

He looked defeated, and you were already there with him. Leaning forward, you leaned your head against his chest and he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you like it was the last time he would ever hold you.

And it was.

Until…

Years later you found yourself on the other side of the country, in a quaint – or so you thought – little town called Charming. Having gotten a transfer to work in their hospital, as they were short staffed, you had taken the opportunity to finally get out of NY, and relocate to the warmer side of the country. As much as you tried to convince yourself that the change of scenery and pace was what you were changing for, that little voice at the back of your head was yelling out his name.

You were barely a day into living in California when you decided to look him up and like fate would have it – he was living and working in the same town you were in. You tried not to get too excited at the fact, but to you it was a calling – like you two were meant to be together all this time and destiny was pulling you back to him. 

Whatever force it was, it had brought you to the motor garage he worked at, and you had only just worked up enough courage to walk in and finally lay eyes on him again after all this time.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #85

“so you can throw me to the wolves; tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack.”

when was the last time you saw the person you like?   february what are you listening to?   markiplier playing "scp containment breach."  going on a nostalgia binge. would you take back your last boyfriend/girlfriend?   nope.  tyler wasn't for me. are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you?   rape and abortion. have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend?   no. would you be upset if you caught your boyfriend looking at porn?   i'd be fucking pissed.  not out of jealousy, but because it's lustful and just generally disgusting. your last ex calls wanting to hangout, what do you say?   probably "stop fucking harassing me." do you have a friend named ashley?   no, but that's my older sister's name. are you an aunt or an uncle?   yep. did you use to watch blues clues?   of course. are you a twilight fan?   i never was. when’s the last time you threw up?   couple weeks ago.  one of my pills makes me sick sometimes. do you stutter when you get nervous?   terribly. what is your favorite superhero movie?   "ghost rider," if you count him. do you think that aliens exist?   no. do you own a pair of converses?   i've got a few. do you regret your last relationship?   i sure do. do you plan on having children in the future?   currently, no.  i really don't think i'm capable of raising another human being efficiently. when did you last go to the doctor and what for?   i went to my therapy appointment a few days ago. are you socially awkward?   agonizingly would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie?   horror if you could choose to be any mythical character, which would you choose?   dragon what is your favorite animal and why?   meerkats.  they're adorable, unspeakably brave and loyal, and so curious. do you find yourself on youtube a lot?   it's always open. what is something that reminds you of your childhood?   dinosaurs what show do you miss coming on television?   "meerkat manor" :( have you ever tried opening your eyes under water?   yeah.  don't like doing it though. have you ever been admitted to the hospital?   five times. do you have a hint of obsessive compulsive disorder?   a bit.  i used to have baaad repetitive thought cycles when i was younger. do you use any acne medication?   nah.  i don't really get acne anymore. if you’re offered a trip to either hawaii or alaska which would you choose?   alaska what cause (feminism, gay rights, abortion, etc) are you most passionate about?   the pro-life movement how much money have you saved by shop lifting?   what the fuck?!  i don't shoplift to begin with.  wtf. do you hate when couples are like “i love you” after dating for about 2 days?   it's ignorant as fuck to say, yes.  those are dangerous fucking words. have you ever run away?   yes. ever been attacked by a dog?   no.  my little sister has, though.  i'm pretty sure she still has the scar. ever had an out-of-body experience?   no. ever considered acupuncture?   noooo. do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones?   PSYCHOLOGICAL do you have a favorite youtuber? or do you not watch much youtube?   rhett&link + markplier are my literal babes. who do you text the most? or do you like to text at all?   sara. do you like ronnie james dio?   \m/, motherfucker. ever given a tattoo before? would you like to?   no.  i have tremors, so that'd be a terrible idea. have you ever had a pet bird?   no. do you have any siblings that you never seen before?   one half-sister, yes. have you ever heard a song that made you cry?   most notably johnny cash's version of "hurt."  the first time i listened to it, i couldn't help but cry.  like i know it's a cover, but his version just personifies pain. do you like the show “that 70s show”?   it's probably like my second-favorite show.  it's fucking hysterical. has your house ever been broken in to?   thank god no.  the bloods tried to break into our old house though while my older sister and her old best friend were home alone.  they were terrified. do you listen to blink-182?   some of their songs are great, sure.  i like a couple. do you listen to nirvana?   sometimes. what thumb do you use to hit the space bar with?   my right. do you like regular or chocolate milk better?   chocolate growing up, did you listen to country music?   not usually by will, but i did regardless.  my older sister usually controlled the radio and such.  if i wanted to listen to music on my own time, it was usually mainstream pop. do you have a gazebo at your house?   no do you like tomatoes?   nooo. what type of waffles do you like? (plain, blueberry etc..)   plain do you like chicken or beef better? or do you not eat meat?   i prefer chicken. did america really put a man on the moon?   yes. have you ever dated outside of your race?   for less than a day. were you born in a hospital, or somewhere else?   in a hospital. who is your favorite male singer?   patrick stump from fall out boy. do you listen to any acoustic bands, or singers?   not specifically. what is your birthstone?   amethyst do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?   just go to the drive-thru.  i mean, isn't that the point of a fast food restaurant, to get food quickly and easily? do you like chinese food over pizza?   nope. if someone you know offered you pot, what would you say?   well first, i'd say no, and two, i'd most likely dissociate from that person.  i in no way get involved with drugs. have you ever been to a strip club?   hell no. how was/is the food in the cafeteria at your school?   some were actually pretty decent, others were hellish. what is your favorite song?   "do i wanna know?" by the arctic monkeys what do you think of the name courtney?   i like it. do you have a wild side?   not really, honestly. ever gone boating all day?   i've been on a boat while fishing most of the day, but not like, all day. what is your favorite thing about going to your grandma’s house?   honestly?  nothing.  i don't even get along with my grandma. do you like eggs?   only if they're scrambled and cheesy. who are your heroes?   mark fischbach and my mom. do you know who rodney atkins is?   i live in the south, buddy.  take a guess. are you tall?   no. when is the last time you wore a dress?   my sister's wedding. what is the last alcoholic beverage you’ve had?   a strawberry smirnoff. do you know someone that smiles ALL the time?   no.  that'd be freaky. who is the hottest person alive?   link neal, boys and girls. are you ready for summer?   hell no.  i hate everything about summer. do you like the sun or do you like snow better?   snow!! don’t you love pancakes?   hell ye boi. quick name a country singer:   tim mcgraw.  the only one i sincerely like. who did you last have an alcoholic drink with?   family. ever had fruit pizza?   ew, no.  fruit doesn't belong on pizza. do you know anyone named caleb?   i'm acquainted with one.  he's cool. how many friends do you have on facebook?   around 110, i think a little more? what was on the last sandwich you ate?   peanut butter. what sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school?   the same stuff i listen to now: heavy metal.  i went through a phase where i listened to even heavier, more emo-styled bands, though. what is your favorite thai dish?   never tried any. how many contacts do you have in your phone?   i think like 15, lol. when was the last time you made out with somebody?   around a year and a half. what month of the year was your mother born?   august. how many apps do you have on your phone?   only four.  my phone doesn't have a lot of memory. have you ever dated a smoker? if not, would you?   i haven't, and no, i honestly wouldn't. would you rather travel to japan or scotland?   hmmmm... i THINK japan, but i'm honestly unsure. what is your mother’s first name?   donna. do you share a middle name with any of your siblings?   yes. have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area?   it's possible i guess, but i don't think so. how would you label your sexual orientation?   heterosexual do you consider your goals easily achievable or are they pretty grand?   eh, kinda in-between... my only real goal is to be a photographer, but the photography industry is SUPER competitive. what’s your favorite vegetable?   broccoli is yummy.  especially with cheese. would you rather eat italian or indian food?   italian have you ever missed a flight?   no. can you name five adjectives describing you?   passionate, shy, sleepy, nervous, and loyal. do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex?   a bit long. what is your favorite soda?   mountain dew what is your opinion on legalizing drugs?   you are honestly naive if you believe that's a good idea.  no offense. do you like country music?   no. have you ever done something illegal more than once?   yes. if you could marry any celebrity, who would it be?   mark fischbach omg can you swim?   yes. what are your fears?   pregnancy/childbirth, closed spaces, being alone in the end, long-legged spiders, the ocean, whale sharks, maggots/larvae, other things... do you shave your arms even though it supposedly grows back thick?   no. do you ever get too lazy to clean up your pet’s pee and leave it for your parents to do it?   i clean my dog's pee because he's my responsibility.  if cali pees, i tell mom.  bentley, i tell nicole. what insects or bugs do you fear most?   rhino beetles and wasps do you think weed is just as bad as cigarettes?   it's fact that it's worse.  it has more carcinogens. don’t you just love free samples?   obviously. are you someone’s best friend?   no. have you ever used alternative medicine or old-fashioned remedies?   i don't think so. what color and style is your hair?   it's red, but with overgrown roots. do you wear glasses?   yeah. do you want kids?   no.  there's just no way i'd be able to properly take care of a kid. what if you were in a fire and you could only save one object, what would it be?   i'm guessing family and pets are already safe?  then in that case, my laptop. what if you could ask god any one question, what would it be?   "why do people who aren't sure whether or not they believe in you go to hell?" what if you found a suitcase full of $1,000,000, what would you do?   honestly, i'd look for identification.  i just couldn't take that much money with a good conscience. what if you had to choose, would you give up your sight or your hearing?   sight.  i couldn't live in total silence. what if you saw a robbery, would you report it?   obviously??? what if you were given a chance to go to the moon, would you go? why or why not?  no.  i don't want to be in space that long. what if your friend could not have a child, would you carry her child for her?   honestly, no. my 1st job was:   game stop sales clerk favorite dog breed:   hmmm.  i really really like akita inus.  papillons, too. assuming you had the cash to make it happen, what would your ideal living situation be at this point in your life (i.e. with who, where, under what circumstances, etc.)?  how does your ideal compare to your current situation?   i don't have anyone i'd like to live with besides who i do now, but i know i'd really like a wood house in the woods by a waterfall.  it'd be different from where i live now, definitely.  we live right beside a road that leads to a small town. if someone were to travel to your city (assuming they have never been there before), what would you tell them to visit? is your city (or the closest larger city to you) a big tourist area at all?  lmao there's nothing to really visit.  and no. if, as a parent of a teenager, you knew that your teenage daughter was having sex/thinking about having sex, would you put her on birth control pills? do you agree or disagree with those who say that placing teenagers on the pill encourages promiscuous sex? if you’re on the pill, how old were you when you went on it? if you’re not, have you ever considered taking it?   i'd be pretty heavily trying to influence her to not have sex as a teen, but if that's what she really wanted, yes, i'd put her on the pill.  i don't believe it encourages promiscuous sex, no.  i was put on the pill when i was like... maybe 16, but only due to severe period cramps. what is the worst example of poverty you have seen in person? does this make you feel guilty at all (say, for throwing out food that you didn’t finish)?   the saddest thing i saw, actually recently, was a pregnant woman with her husband in the pouring rain with just a small umbrella and a sign.  can't remember what it said, honestly, but it was depressing.  and of course i feel guilty. do you look at sex as a special thing that is shared with someone you love, or do you treat sex more casually? if you are a virgin, are you waiting for the right person to come along, or do you have religious/moral reasons to wait?   it is 100% something special you share with hopefully one person.  and i'm waiting for both reasons. do you unfriend people on facebook who post endless status updates or seem to be begging for attention? what about family members or coworkers – are you comfortable accepting their friend requests?  is there anything on your facebook that could potentially cause trouble for you if someone were to see it?   if you're fishing for attention, hell yes i do.  i don't put up with that.  and i take invites from family, yes.  but i guess my use of profanity could cause some nasty looks from some of my family, particularly my grandma. when you have a significant other, are you honest about everything with that person, or do you think that there are some things better left unsaid? do you want your significant other to be willing to tell you anything and everything as well?   i'm entirely open.  and yes. grossest memory:   that one time my late lizard pooped aaall over my hands and shirt.  i nearly puked. what do you think of "abstinence"?   it's the safest option for everyone. don’t you just hate preachers?   uhhh, nooo...? does a mango smoothie sound good to you now?  omgggg yaaaas what’s something that you find trashy?  very short shorts.  cover your ass, please. crayons or markers?   crayons would you rather receive roses or sunflowers?   roses. do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long?   honestly, i'm always in my pajamas unless i have to go somewhere. mints or chewing gum?   gum. at one point of your life, have you been obsessed with dinosaurs or robots?   dinosaurs, yes.  i was obsessed as a kid.  i still think they're cool. have you ever been in a car accident?   yes. are you afraid of stink bugs?   yeah, they look freaky. are you interested in anime?  somewhat, sure. name your favorite cartoon.   pokemon are you afraid of the dentist?   nah. do you believe in abortion?  no. have you ever tried jolly rancher candy canes?   YUUUUM, yes ;v; do you go hunting?   no. what is your biggest accomplishment in life so far?   recovering. do documentaries bore you?   if they're about animals, no. are you usually happy or sad most of the time?  happy, as of the late. (: are you afraid of spiders?   most, yes. what is your most prized possession?  the plaque i have for graduating in the very top percentage of my class. do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?  closed. have you ever peed in the woods?   no. ever used a gun?   no. who would you like to see in concert?  METALLICA, PLSSSSSS what’s your second favorite color?   pink do you know any african spiritual songs?   no. what kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs?   mustard and ketchup. what’s one thing that’s happened to you that has made you a stronger person?   jason breaking up with me. what’s one thing that’s happened to you in your life that made you feel weak?   again, jason leaving. who do you think has had the largest influence on the person you are today?   myself? what is one thing you feel your life is missing?   adventure, definitely.  action. which blink-182 song do you think is the most depressing?   that i know?  "i miss you." what color lights are on your christmas tree?   we use colorful ones every year. are there hurricanes where you live?   yep. have you ever been to a rehab center?   i guess that depends on what you mean by "rehab center."  never a place exclusively to get off drugs, no.  but the mental hospitals i've been to doubled as detox centers.  which was remarkably stupid.  you don't treat mental illness patients the same as patients going through detox??? what’s your favorite flavor of ramen?   i don't like ramen. have you ever been given an ink blot test? if so, what did you see in it?   in a therapy thing, yes actually.  and i mean, lots of things?  i was shown various things. are you friends with someone who is a stoner?   no.  wait, yes actually.  but we don't really talk much anymore. do you like playing shooting games at the arcade?   nah. how long have you lived in the house you live in?   only like two months. where did you lose your virginity, if you have?   n/a what color car(s) do your parents drive?   i think dad's is black, mom's is white. what are your views on getting rid of the penny?   i don't really care. which asian country would you most like to visit?   japan have you ever had a nosebleed?   hasn't everyone at one point or another? do you have bangs?   no. have you ever kissed someone underneath mistletoe?   i don't think so. do you have a weak stomach?   no. which website do you spend the most time on?   youtube.  it's always open/i'm always listening to something, usually let's plays. have you ever kissed someone of a different race?   he kissed me, i didn't kiss him. do you read fanfiction? if so, what fandoms?   no, actually. would you go back to your ex if he/she asked you?   tyler, definitely not.  jason, not right away.  he'd definitely have to prove himself to me again. do you like stars, or hearts better?   hearts mickey mouse, or winnie the pooh?   pooh! where is the best place to get ice cream?   coldstone, brother.

[f05erxay-blog]

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[everyhowlmarksthedead]

KEEPING UP WITH THE ARIZAS

Michael “Riz” Ariza x Reader

Chapter 7: “What the fuck is a ‘Swole Boy’?”

Word Count: 1.2k

Author comments: This work wasn't re-edited, so I'm sorry if you find grammar mistakes! I hope you all enjoy. Gif credits to: @angels-reyes.

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“My favorite girl! Wha' can I do for you, bonita?”

Packer's voice sounds happy and excited because of your call, making you smile at the other side of the phone.

“Just a courtesy call”.

“Are you comen' to SanBer'? You don' need a courtese' call, sweetheart!”

“You know, just in case. I have… some business to take care of”.

“You need help?”

“No, no. Don' worry! I'll see you after tha'”.

“For sure, kid. When you comen'”?

“I'm already on my way. Maybe two hours from there”.

“Bike or car?”

“Black Hummer SUV, need the numbers?”

“No, just curious. See you in a while then”.

“See you, prez!”

(five hours before)

If someone turned on a hundred motorbikes around Riz's one, you could recognize your husband's one easily, without looking. So when you heard the roar of the crew coming back to the clubhouse, but not the big black one, your heart quickened. Jumping out of the sofa, you ran outside to the porch worried as fuck and your legs trembling. You didn't see it, but finding Michael inside the green truck. When the men parked their motorcycles, you continued the fast steps to it, seeing how Riz stepped out limping slightly.

“Rey, are you ok?!” You shouted disquiet holding one of his arm above your shoulders, trying to help him.

“Yeah, don' worry, mi amor. I just… fell off my bike”.

“How?”

“Because of a charter called ‘Swole Boys’”. Creeper said with a singing voice, provoking the crew's laughters.

“What the fuck is a ‘Swole Boy’, ah?” You frowned with anger, holding closer your husband to go upstairs inside the clubhouse.

The guys couldn't stop laughing, confusing you a little more, while Riz kissed your temple with a smile on his lips. They explained you that Angel and EZ made some noise on their way to northern Cali, and the payback went for the crew. Apparently, one of them pushed Michael out of the road and his bike got some scratches and breaks, but nothing that they couldn't repair.

While your Mayan was taking a shower on his dorm there, you prepared him some clean clothes and a big cold gel pad to his ankle, waiting him sitting on the bed. They wanted payback? You were going to give them one they wouldn't forget.

“Cariño, estoy bien”. (Honey, I'm okay) Riz's calmed voice brought you back to reality.

Shaking your head, you focused on watching him get dressed pouting at him not very convinced. When he was ready, lying on the bed, you helped him placing the cold pad above his skin and taking it off every one minute for some seconds.

“Did you call Packer?”

“Yeah, we already fixed it as our way”.

You didn't ask anything else, trying to calm yourself while you were healing him somehow. Your husband were leaving some caresses on your head, slowly, gently, after grabbing your chin with two fingers to make you turn at him.

“You're gonna be a good girl, aren't you?”

“I don't know what 'you talking 'bout”. You lie, shaking your head with raised eyebrows.

“Mi amor…”

“Ah, ah. Nope”. You continue lying, bowing over him to press your lips with his, placing a hand on his neck.

“Promise me”.

“Promise you what, mi rey?”

“Don't play the innocent with me. I know you better than anyone”.

“And still you married me…”

Northern Cali isn't much fresh than the desert, but the air that enters by the window it's more pleasant than Santo Padre's. With an elbow nailed on the door and your cheek supported over your palm, you guide the steering wheel with the right, being close to your destiny. You know exactly what you're going to do, going over the plan when sideways you find the screen of the phone flashing with Bishop's name in it. You don't answer, checking seconds before the number of notifications in the lock screen. You're fucked, but you can't simply sit and not do anything.

Reach the gym doesn't take you more than ten minutes, speeding up and loudly rattling the wheels at the entrance. You don't care about the artificially muscular men standing close to the ramp down of the building, confused staring at your car. And you speed up a little more, running over the row conformed by motorbikes. The alarms sound flood the fenced yard, when you hit them feeling a gentle tug on the seat belt, reversing the big SUV before stepping out of it with a gun in your left hand. You're more satisfied than ever.

“What the fuck is wrong with y—?” A man with blonde long hair and hoarse voice doesn't finish the question when he focus on you, taking off the barrel lock.

“I'm gonna show you some mexican manners, puto pendejo”.

You're erratic and excited, with pure adrenaline running through your veins, walking close to the motorcycles and shooting the wheels you find in your field of vision. The whistle of every bullet is like a sweet melody for your ears, enchanting your brain. But when you're at the highest point of fun, the roar of a lot of engines interrupts your revenge.

“Saved by the bell”.

Narrowing your eyes and glaring at them, you keep the gun under your jacket, turning on your sneakers at the exact moment that Packer appears being followed by his men, and the Mayans. You weren't expecting your family, at least, not this soon. Crossing your arms behind your back, you take three steps somewhat closer of the riders. The San Bernardino's president is trying to hide how funny the situation seems to him, while your father is almost running towards you really furious.

“What the hell are you doing, chamaca?” He shouts at you, facing each other and grabbing you by an arm.

“Wha'? I just wanna get fit”. You say with pursed lips, shrugging your shoulders.

“Baby, are you serious?” Riz makes you turn your attention at him.

“Who's that chick?” The tall man and blond hair walks closer with some bad intentions. But you're fast.

Taking again the gun under your jacket, freeing yourself from Taza, you point at him with both eyebrows raised up. His steps don't continue, stopping dead, lifting his hands above his head.

“I'm an angry wife, mothafucka'. I don' give a shit about your… muscles, your bikes, nor your fuckin' jackets. Ain't gonna let you push my husband out of the road without showing you what happens after tha'”. You shoot another bullet to the ground, next to his feet. “Tell him you're sorre'”.

“Wh—What?”

“(Y/N), stop”. Bishop, who was a mere spectator, speaks. “We don' need a war”.

“How it supposed they're gonna give you a war? What are they gonna do? Throwing you steroids and protein powders?”

“Please”. He asks you, hearing some low laughs from your charter.

“Shut the fuck up, Obispo, this is not your business”. Clicking your tongue, you do a rotary move with your hand. “Say it”.

“I am… I am… sorry”.

“‘Riz’”.

“I am sorry, Riz”.

“See? It wasn' that hard!” You smirk shrugging, giving the gun to your father, before walking some steps closer to the one who you identificate like the president. “Next time… People will call you ‘Sol Boys’, you know why?” (‘Sun Boys’)

No. He doesn't want to know why.

“'Cause I'm gonna fuckin' set you on fire”. And you're talking serious shit. No one mess with the Arizas.

[lordximp-blog]

I love hear from a dear friend(exgf)

A little history of why shes my ex. At that time in my life i was young and very immature and was always looking for something new to smash. Welli was with her for awhile and i was getting to my i wanna cheap point so instead of cheating i ended us. I had a friend drive me to her place and broke us off. Bc she deserved way better then what i could do.

Years pass and i spot her at a random party me and my boys stopped at. But she was woth her at the time BF. That night wasn't fun. We just didnt get along and i was very pissed to see her with someone. You can say i was extremely jealous. We move on....

Years pass by again to find out shes in mexico. So i reached out on, and we hit it off we are talking i apologized for our younger years. And of course theirs a but.....but wgile we reconnected i was into drugs and an alcholic. So i told her we should get married so ahe can come back from mexico bc she wanted to come back. Well that didnt happen. I cut her out of my life again.

Some miracle we connect again. And again but.... But now shes prego and married, and i lost her. For the 3rd time. And you i apologized again for leaving just out the blue and i told her my issues and what i was facing. She wished me the best and said it's ok. Take good care. Be safe.

2or3years ago we start talking again. And what do you know we try it again. But.... It didnt work out. Bc she didn't see a life back out here in the states. And well she knew how much i cared and how much she meant to me. Seriously, i dont want to be in a relation ship nor do i want to have kids, hell i dont even want to be married. But all that will change if she came back. I would want that with her...but like i said she didnt see nothing here. Ok she found a bf. And we lost contact for some months now.

She came back and now apologized for the way she left. Gave me the reaso which i already knew why. I mean i been aeound the block im 30 years old. I know how things go when you're in another relationship. But i forgave her i was never mad. Im to understanding. And well she tells me about her relationahip and the same thing there is nothing there. Its going nowhere but she just cant seem to wana leave him. He don't want her talking to me bc hes scared of my presents. And well we stop talking....

And now i notice her constantly checking my IG. Yes its her not the BF. Shes also friended my mom and they have talked from what my mom has said. And today as i was gonna msg her to see why she keeps checking up on me and not msging even though i know ahe wants to....she sends me a msg first(finafuckinly) and we have been talking all day.

And now idk what to do? Idk what she wants? And it sucks bc i do care about her and her daughter. But im here in Cali she's in Durango with some youngster who she don't even care for....

Also this is just a quick summary.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: hey Janis: I hope you're alright, like Janis: I am and Janis: yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sorry about that Janis: just Janis: family shit Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's not Jimmy: if any dickhead gets that, it's me Janis: yeah Janis: but Janis: I said I'd try Jimmy: we've both said shit Janis: I meant it though Jimmy: that'll be why you're here now then Janis: trying don't mean I'll always get it right Janis: and will you let me in when I am or Jimmy: you know where the spare 🔑 is Jimmy: and I meant when I said I weren't kicking you out Janis: would it help if I explain or don't it matter Jimmy: would it? Janis: I don't know Janis: maybe Janis: so you know it weren't nothing to do with you or Jimmy: would it help you? Janis: I care about you Jimmy: I care about you Jimmy: stalemate that Janis: It's hard Janis: but this is probably easier than in person Janis: for you too, it's Jimmy: I'll put the kettle on then Janis: you'll wanna Janis: just careful you don't scald yourself with any spittakes Jimmy: I'm not at work and Ian's not gonna comp me Jimmy: 💔🎻😭💸 Janis: no flat whites for him Janis: really like this story and all so jokes on you, sir Jimmy: all black everything for him Jimmy: that's the dress code when you're mourning not being 24 still or at whatever point his #heyday began and ended Janis: definitely several jokes to be made there but I'm not really black enough and you look good so Jimmy: there's been enough #bants Jimmy: it's obvs a mancave for lads lads lads the second you leave Janis: gutted, truly Jimmy: #relatable Janis: ugh Janis: right Janis: what have you heard about my sister, Rio Jimmy: she's fit Janis: is that it? Jimmy: yeah why? Jimmy: like I've heard she's a porn star but I didn't feel the need to do a search Janis: just so I know where to start Janis: so that's her, right Janis: but on top of that she Janis: it'll sound like a joke but it ain't so go with it Janis: married our cousin when she was like 18 Jimmy: hang on, your cousin or your mum's friend's kid who you call your auntie but ain't owt to do with you actually Janis: actual cousin Janis: as in they have the same fucking grandparents Jimmy: how did that come about? Janis: good question Janis: this family is fucked Janis: it's not like they didn't know each other growing up or anything, like they didn't know each other from any fucker Janis: it's Jimmy: I get that, the fucked families bit Janis: yeah Janis: well, that was 5 years ago and they did it basically in secret 'cos yeah, they would've been stopped Janis: hopefully Janis: but now they're deciding they need to renew it and force us all to come Janis: and grace just dropped that in a DM like that was something I knew or would be chill with Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: all round Janis: you're telling me Janis: she didn't know I didn't know apparently but still Janis: it's just so Jimmy: you're not gonna go and play happy families Jimmy: why would you Janis: exactly Janis: but they all will Janis: they always do Janis: they've got kids and that's a whole other tale too Jimmy: together? Janis: one, she has one that ain't his too Janis: surprisingly normal looking Jimmy: is it? Janis: [sends Grace's insta] Janis: boys theirs Jimmy: he don't look like a 🐙 or owt Jimmy: your sister must be fit Jimmy: rumour mill got one 🏆 Janis: they're both obsessed with themselves Janis: still think we could've diluted the DNA tbh Jimmy: 😂 Janis: alright, you can laugh Jimmy: sorry Janis: would if it weren't my family Janis: try to anyway Jimmy: she cheated on him and they're still doing another 💍👰? Janis: that's the other story Janis: she was meant to surrogate for my brother Junior Janis: who you'll have heard fuck all about 'cos he keeps to himself and everyone forgets he exists Janis: but then she didn't wanna give it up and it was stupid anyway 'cos he was fresh into uni and dating a lecturer like that situation needs a child Janis: and her life's such a roaring success she should be giving a hand Jimmy: what? Janis: I'll give you a sec Janis: it's literally the most blatant and stupid way she's wrecked a life, like Jimmy: 💔 Mia ain't told me 'cause I thought we had something 💕 Jimmy: but it's alright, I'll live Janis: who knows what Grace told her Janis: that one might actually be family only 'cos as I said, no one gives a fuck about him Janis: he stays well away now, sensible Jimmy: fucking hell, mate Janis: just the local freakshow Janis: it's neverending, the amount of shit there is like that Jimmy: I'll keep it 🤐 about Ian from now on like Jimmy: you can have 🥇 Janis: nah Janis: not a competition Jimmy: is a bit Jimmy: just 🤏 though Janis: well I don't want him feeling left out Janis: still a 🏆 for being an outright twat Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 yet Jimmy: still time to #flex Janis: him and shaz can make it down the aisle 'fore them Jimmy: she ain't been back 🎻🎻 Jimmy: can't keep a mum me Janis: letdown Janis: really wanna be a bridesmaid but can't on principle Jimmy: no 😭😭😭 in my kitchen Jimmy: we're all 💔 Janis: stay strong, boy Jimmy: alright fine I'll bring my proposal forward so we can get 💍 before them Jimmy: stop begging Janis: it'd be worth pissing off the pope to piss them off harder Jimmy: 💕 taking that as a yeah Janis: go on then Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: brb stealing my dad's 💳 to buy a 💎 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: gold or silver? Janis: it's called white gold, so silver but make it expensive #weirdflex Jimmy: #goalsforever Janis: put that in the vows Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: I'm writing them rn Janis: Thanks Janis: for making me feel better Janis: 🤏 Jimmy: if I can't do that then you'd have nowt to come back for Jimmy: have to hang up my boyfriend 😎 Jimmy: put on my 💔 ones Janis: I wasn't leaving you Jimmy: for now Janis: I won't Jimmy: don't promise owt to me, you've been warned, girl Janis: it's a threat Jimmy: hot Jimmy: alright then Janis: I mean it Jimmy: you don't scare me Jimmy: 😘 me or 💀💀💀 me ain't that the phrase Janis: you can't die right now Jimmy: might do Jimmy: you're really beautiful Janis: you don't know Janis: I'm a state Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that's fake news Janis: shh Jimmy: Alright Grace, put your sister back on Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: it's a good thing you can't see her too tbf Janis: not practical having to hide from you for life when you marry in Jimmy: wait, you're with her? Jimmy: I'll hide the body but bit of warning, babe Janis: ha Janis: yeah Janis: IOU on the rescue she wanted to cash Jimmy: if Mia's there an' all & you don't say hey from me I'll be fuming Janis: she's definitely not Jimmy: have you checked the boot? 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: folds up like paper, her Janis: wouldn't pit it past her Janis: I'll dry my eyes and get on it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tell Grace she ain't having a tea unless she's 💰💰 Janis: She's taking my spare bed at nans Janis: musical faves atm Jimmy: I won't go throw shit at her window tonight then Jimmy: tah for the head's up Jimmy: soon my dear 💕👵 Janis: subtle Janis: find somewhere else to kip, it's alright, like Jimmy: no Janis: 💕 Jimmy: I mean it, don't Janis: okay Janis: if you'll have me Jimmy: I want you Janis: I love you Jimmy: do you? Janis: I said it like Jimmy: yeah but Janis: you can pretend I didn't Jimmy: we don't do that it's like the only rule Janis: if you need a free pass then take it Jimmy: I'm not saying I do Jimmy: just Jimmy: It's nowt I ain't heard before and Jimmy: for what? Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: she said it and she still went Jimmy: my mum Janis: it's okay, it doesn't have to mean anything Janis: I already didn't promise you, yeah Jimmy: it's not Janis: no Janis: it's not Janis: but Janis: I don't know Jimmy: why couldn't she just Jimmy: why did he have to be so Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: it's bullshit Janis: and it's unfair Jimmy: you know that I Jimmy: so important you Jimmy: Alright? Janis: I know Janis: it's all good Janis: isn't it Jimmy: Yeah Janis: I'm sorry everythings shit Jimmy: not everything is Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I like you too Janis: you're about all I do like Janis: no pressure Jimmy: is that what you wanted it to mean? Jimmy: when you said Janis: I meant Janis: that I give a shit about you and I think you're funny and nice and fit and I wanna be around you Janis: and I don't wanna fuck you over Jimmy: then I love you too Janis: yeah? Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: allright Janis: I'll come in then Jimmy: were you waiting for me to say it before you got off the doorstep or what? Janis: not exactly Jimmy: [is at the door like oh hey] Janis: [the most dramatic hug flinging yourself at him like it's been 84 years 'cos lowkey] Jimmy: [we're never letting go bitch thank god its april and not the dead of winter] Janis: [you need all the moments so deal] Jimmy: [has he ever held onto anyone this tightly, no he has not] Janis: [the casual state she is godbless] Jimmy: [when you still look more beautiful than anyone ever probably] Janis: [rude] Jimmy: [this is why Grace hates you girl but pop off] Janis: [when you say it out loud but really quiet] Jimmy: [just really snuggling into her like we're not all dying okay bye] Janis: [just saying how she's gonna stay and how scary it was and not making a whole load of sense 'cos didn't even get to that bit honey] Jimmy: [all the comforting touches ever because now isn't the moment to be like um what but we'll get to it] Janis: [too much to try and be reasonable and logical rn 'is everyone asleep?'] Jimmy: [nodding because you can't trust yourself to speak rn because if you start what are you even gonna say like] Janis: [just like yes good 'cos we don't need to be starting any more scenes do we 'this was not how I planned any of this going'] Jimmy: [especially not with Ian cos at least cali wouldn't give you a slap 'bit shit at plans, us'] Janis: [nods and does a little lol like 'understatement'] Jimmy: [just sitting on the step so you can 🚬 cos so needed but pulling her into your lap cos you don't wanna let go still] Janis: [could be worse, could be meth] Jimmy: [true facts] Janis: [now everyone calm] Jimmy: [take all the moments you can to be soft] Janis: [just got no business being this close and smoking but at least you both are so it's fine] Jimmy: [I'd die literally] Janis: [my poor boo can't speak 'cos she can't breathe] Jimmy: [don't like set anything on fire either tbh] Janis: [lmao not a mood] Jimmy: [that'd be next level drama] Janis: [winnie drama] Jimmy: [that silly old bear] Janis: ['is my tea going cold?'] Jimmy: [lols because he's obvs not made it yet because #distracted we've all been there boy just put the kettle on and get no further like] Jimmy: [but puts his hand out like help me up so they can go inside] Janis: [does but pulls him towards her first and is just looking like !!?! all the emotions] Jimmy: [says 'what' in the softest way literally ever] Janis: [just gonna kiss him but so soft 'cos you're unsure but also don't know where to begin with anything] Jimmy: [all the soft kisses and comfort ever because he's never seen her like this before so he's like must not say or do the wrong thing] Janis: [have a brew lads] Jimmy: [fixes everything so actually go and make it boy give her chance to work out how she's gonna do this like] Janis: [makes me lol but also sad like there's so much you gotta explain before you can get to the now] Jimmy: [literally like no wonder Grace don't wanna see a therapist how exhausting] Janis: when did your mum go Jimmy: does it matter? Jimmy: she's not gonna show up here tonight Jimmy: you're alright Janis: obviously Janis: just thinking Jimmy: what? Jimmy: we've got enough milk to see us through if that's what she went for Janis: doesn't matter Jimmy: go on Janis: if it was about the same time Janis: as my sister Janis: Bobby is 6, yeah Jimmy: She didn't leave him in the hospital or owt like that Jimmy: let him get to nursery age, like Janis: that's something Jimmy: might've been better Jimmy: wouldn't remember her then Janis: does he Janis: remember, like Jimmy: a bit Janis: yeah Janis: Grace said he asked if she had a mum Janis: at the fair Jimmy: he's always doing that Jimmy: tries to go home with kids if he likes the look of theirs an' all Janis: fair Jimmy: 💔 I can't get away with it, me Janis: you probably could Janis: some of them have very unsatisfying marriages, babe Jimmy: just trying to get a tea I don't have to cook myself, babe Jimmy: but tah Janis: don't get nothing in this life for free Janis: soz Jimmy: alright, rich girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: you're taking forever Janis: am I getting a biscuit too, like Jimmy: ruin the surprise Janis: I can pretend Jimmy: you're not that good of an actress Janis: rude Jimmy: only if that's your back up career Jimmy: and you'd have to get well fed up of the modelling first Jimmy: unlikely love the 📷 you Janis: now I'm an attention seeker Janis: charming Janis: and the 📷 loves me, tah Jimmy: nah just a 🥇 muse Jimmy: so supportive of my talents you Janis: you are good Janis: no lie Jimmy: [brings in the tea and a mug cake he has made for her to be comforting cos cute nerd] Janis: [what a sweet boy] Jimmy: [when that's about the extent of your cooking ability bless him] Janis: ['you're so-' does 🙏 hands to show 😇] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [she sits she sips] Jimmy: [likewise just drinking that tea] Janis: [just shrugging 'cos gotta be blase like this is so casual and matter of fact okay 'my sister did run away, like, but then she had a car crash so, dead now'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ???!! cos what can you even say 'shit, sorry' so awks] Janis: ['was four years ago so it's whatever'] Jimmy: ['did she leave 'cause of all that bollocks with your sister and cousin?'] Janis: ['partially but Janis: 'partially but-' sighs 'she was fucked up because she weren't my dads, third kid in and white, not an easy time'] Jimmy: [just looking at her cos even if you have heard that rumour you'd have thought it was too ridiculous to be true] Janis: [nods like yeah, I know] Jimmy: ['I get why you don't wanna be here, it were like that for us before we moved an' all' a shrug too because obvs also so casual for you] Janis: ['people must've had a field day' sympathetic look 'probably why I said yeah, to the plan, why I give a shit what people say still' shakes her head 'stupid but'] Jimmy: [when you're just having a moment remembering what it was like and you have to shake yourself out of it cos not about you rn 'people are twats, no dickhead but Ian's loving that kind of attention' gives her a look like you're not stupid] Janis: [giving him a nudge like sorry but not wanting to say it 'cos what use is it] Jimmy: [giving her one back as a shameless excuse to then just lean into her shoulder with his for an age like it's not a hug it's so casual bye] Janis: [leaning into it too, which is good 'cos voice is strained now 'cos emotions 'but she thought it was fucked up too, what they're doing, what they all do, she got it, you know'] Jimmy: [nodding cos he agrees that it is fucked up and is also having many emotions but eye contact anyway because wants her to know he gets it and is not going anywhere even though he doesn't know what to do or say about any of this really] Janis: [maintaining even though you'd be trying really hard not to cry for a hot sec there before being so meh it's chill again 'cos easier lbr 'know this is a lot but otherwise you'll just think I'm even weirder, yeah'] Jimmy: [touching her hair for literally no reason like is it even in the way, probably not 'everyone's got something that makes them weird, but you're alright an' all, got loads more shit going for you that counts towards that'] Janis: ['I don't wanna mess this up' and then going in on a kiss 'cos that'll fix this] Jimmy: [letting it happen even though you probably shouldn't because you just wanna make her feel better and also don't want her to think you think she's weird/you don't want her anymore when you obvs love her] Janis: [will stop at a kiss 'cos it'd be clear he weren't into it like per and we don't need that to be a thing for either of you] Jimmy: ['I ain't gonna let you mess this up if you don't let me either' holds his hand out like shake on it with me cos nerd] Janis: [is like 😏 really? but does] Jimmy: [then draws a heart on her with his fingertip like he did at Cali's but on her palm this time after the handshake] Janis: ['you really are the biggest nerd though' but 😍] Jimmy: ['piss off' but a little genuine smile] Janis: ['still like you anyway'] Jimmy: [😏 a look like yeah? and a IRL 👍 because committed to being a nerd now] Janis: ['don't push it, mate'] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her but really soft] Janis: [playfight forever] Jimmy: [just 😍 the whole time like] Janis: ['you really are so'] Jimmy: ['I like you so much'] Janis: [nods 'cos words are risky] Jimmy: ['I- I love you so much'] Janis: ['I love you too, Jimmy'] Jimmy: [gotta just hide your face in a snuggle because dying]