#i wanna hibernate like the bears do i feel like it would fix me

[playbarbies]

my brain fog is so bad it’s no longer fog. it’s the mist™️.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Edge of Seventeen - Chapter Twelve.

Well guys, here we are at the end. Thank you so much to everyone who interacted with this, shared it, gave me such lovely, encouraging comments as well! I hope you enjoy the last chapter just as much as you have the rest :)

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 4,428

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

Sore. If one word accurately described the state of Bella Thorpe at that moment, it was sore. Would she tell Angel to stop, though, as he held her down on the bed, a big hand curled around her elegant neck, thumb stroking just below her jaw...

“God damnit, that’s my good girl, look how well you take my cock, baby. You want it faster again, huh?”  

Would you stop that?  

Pushing his thumb between her lips, he watched her suck upon it, fire dancing through his groin as he pounded her saturated cunt, her little sobs welling in her throat, big, green eyes fixed upon him, his other thumb moving to her clit, dragging sparks over her tiny, swollen bud. It was 6am, and they hadn’t slept a wink after arriving back at the hotel at 11:15pm, all over each other for almost six hours, only pausing to rest here and there.

His entire back and chest were a mess of scratches, both of their bodies covered in love bites and teeth marks, beyond exhausted, but not willing to cease just yet. Not when their hunger for one another persisted so relentlessly. Letting go of her suck on his thumb, she wailed as he dragged it over her lip, her cries filling the room as lightning dashed, hail raining beneath her skin, the storm of her release breaking over her, her insides battered by his need to join her in sweet oblivion.  

“You gonna take that big dick out and cum right down my throat?” she offered, Angel raising his eyebrows. She opened her mouth wide, sticking her tongue out as she sat up on her elbows a little, Angel moving to straddle her, pumping his cock until he came hard, decorating her tongue with the hot ribbons of his release, Bella groaning as she swallowed, licking the sensitive tip of his hardness, sitting up to scatter kisses all over his chest, her teeth biting onto one of his dark nipples with a hungry little growl.

“Okay, I’m gonna go get in the shower and then head down to get breakfast. I’m starving!” Off the bed she jumped, Angel flopping face first into the pillows. “You coming with me? We can head back up here and do it all over again, then.”

“Isabella, I just fucked you off and on for almost six hours!” he muffled. “How the hell are you still this bouncy?” He knew how. Eighteen-year-olds had energy in abundance.  

“So no to shower and breakfast, then?”  

“Sleep. I wanna sleep. Unless they do room service here. I could be persuaded to move for that.”  

She turned the shower on before moving back to the bed, giving his ass a thorough smacking with her hands before sitting astride him. “It isn’t that fancy, big sexy. Come on!”  

“Alright, but no more banging. I can’t feel the end of my dick.” it wasn’t until they were halfway through eating a while later that Angel remembered something quite vital about his girlfriend, something that meant he’d be able to get some vitally needed, undisturbed sleep before the three-and-a-half-hour ride back to Santo Padre. If Bella was well-fed, she became sleepy, like a little bear gorging itself prior to hibernation. Sure enough, she began yawning while finishing her tea, heading back up the room at 7.35am, placing the do not disturb sign on the door before they both stripped off, crawled back under the covers, and slept.  

When Angel awoke five hours later, it was to a very pleasant feeling, the warm hug of Bella’s lips wrapping around his cock. Peeling the covers back, he looked down at her, arching a curious eyebrow.  

“What? You told me you couldn’t feel the end of your dick.” Pausing, she kissed it, following with feathery licks. “Can you feel it now?”

“Mmm.” he groaned, lacing his hands together behind his head, watching himself vanish into her mouth again, the slow drag of her lips moving back up making his abs twitch. “Fuck, that feels too good. I fucking love how much you get off on giving me head.”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed, kissing the tip again. “I have to look after this gorgeous, big cock, don’t I? After all, it keeps me very happy, and it’s so thick and perfect. Mmmm, you’re right, too. I fucking love sucking on it, turns me on so bloody much.” Swallowing him back again, her short nails raked over his hips, making him shudder, stroking over his thighs, trawling up to his chest, circling his nipples before pinching them, sending his arousal charging.  

He knew he shouldn’t, but instantly, his mind compared her to Mel, who was virtually silent in the bedroom, save a few moans here and there. She was wordless, where Bella wasn’t, her vocalness hugely alluring. He often thought she’d be capable of talking him to orgasm alone. Also, he had no idea how the fuck she had the kind of skills she did, being that he was only the third person she’d ever had sex with, but Angel was not about to question that.  

“As much as I’m enjoying this, there’s somewhere else I need you far more,” she purred, moving astride him, sinking down on him with a soft groan, wincing with a little hiss as he filled her.  

“Still sore?” he asked, his hands coming to rest on her waist, stroking her lovingly.  

“Yeah, but it won’t stop me from wanting you to make me cum again. Fuck, I love you so much.” And those words right there were the sexiest she could ever speak, Angel pulling her down, hands smoothing up her back in a slow glide as he kissed her, fingers tangling in her messy waves. Pushing back up, she stroked his chest, her mouth falling open as they moved together with slow, yet focused purpose, her nails trailing over the hills and valleys of his muscles.

The way she moved on top of him, it was hypnotic, unlike anything Angel had ever experienced, her body rolling and undulating like she was made of liquid. Quite simply, he’d never been ridden like that in his whole life. She absolutely blew his mind, this beautiful young woman he was lucky enough to call his once more.  

The pace became more urgent and frenzied by the second, voracity replacing the slower and more sumptuous enjoyment that had prevailed thus far, Bella grinding down on him eagerly as he moved beneath her with more purpose, both driving deeper moans from one another. Each keen undulation caused him to feel sparks flickering his spine, while she had her own bliss pulsing softly, increasing more the faster she moved, fervidly chasing her release as she began to rub her clit, her other hand flexing at his chest, nails digging in.  

A string of panted expletives left her mouth as she felt herself reach the shining light of her undoing, blazing through her like a bright, winter dawn and taking him with her to a gloriously sweet climatic finish, intensity throbbing through them and leaving them both breathless, shuddering wrecks.  

“I love you, baby,” he whispered, kissing her hair, stroking her, his eyelids growing heavy as the sparkling blanket of orgasm swathed him in a weighted shroud.

“I love you, too.” She kissed him, resting her head on his chest, her eyes fluttering shut. They snoozed for just over half an hour, before the looming checkout drove them from the bed and into their clothes, ready to head home. During one of their stops along the way, they made plans to head to La Jolla first, so she could collect some of her stuff and head back to Santo Padre with him, arriving in front of the beach house at coming up to 6pm, Angel hesitant to see Deb’s car parked outside, next to Bella’s little blue Nissan.  

She’d of course revealed she’d passed her test in the time between them last being together, but that wasn’t all. Angel’s hesitation was borne of the fact that Bella had detailed her mother’s thoughts on their relationship once she’d come clean and confessed all to her, thinking that the age gap was too big.  

“Come on, she’ll like you when she meets you!”

“Yeah, she really gon’ love the grown assed man who was bangin’ a new hole into her underage daughter for five months last year,” he snorted, his feet planting.

Bella reached for his arm, stroking the thick bulk of his muscles. “She knows that you didn’t know, though. She also said you went up in her estimations for finishing with me as soon as you did, too.”  

He made an uncomfortable noise at the back of his throat. “I did the last time, though. That still fucking haunts me, that I went there knowingly.” And it did. It smacked him upside the head every time he remembered it, leaving an icky feeling lingering.  

“She doesn’t need to know that, though. That’s no one’s business but ours. We were both all emotional and heartbroken, not thinking clearly. Besides, it’s in the past, I’m eighteen now, and my choice is made. You’re my choice. Being without you, it isn’t what I want, so she’ll just have to get used to it. Come on, it’ll be fine, my mum’s nice, she’s like me,” she further encouraged, Angel only feeling marginally better.  

She took his hand, walking down the steps towards the small, gravelled path that led to their front door, a front door that opened, revealing the lady herself, sipping a steaming cup of nettle tea. She eyed them both, her gaze flickering between them, nodding a little as a small smirk tilted the corner of her mouth. A gorgeous Latino guy who was much older than Bella; he matched the description of a certain someone in particular.

“Good evening, daughter of mine,” she began, nodding in the direction of the tall man whose hand she held. “I take it this is the infamous Angel?”

“Yeah, this is him.” Deb eyed him shrewdly, shaking her head a little bit before offering her hand.  

“I did wonder how long it would take. Come in, both of you.”  

“Fuck, she has some grip for a botanist.” he muttered, Bella snorting with laughter as he shook his hand in the wake of greeting Deb, who walked into the kitchen, switching on the coffee machine. She was a swirl of emotions within, but kept poised as thoughts tumbled through her head, all of them conflicting. He was too old for her daughter, who although was now of legal age, was still a teenager, and he was pushing forty. However, she couldn’t discount for a second that she hadn’t seen her little belly boo look so lit up inside in a long time. Not since she was with him the first time around.  

It didn’t mean she wasn’t about to have some fun busting his balls, though.  

“So,” she began, pointing to the coffee machine with an inquiring face, watching them both nod. “How did this happen?”  

“We met at the festival by chance, and well, yeah. We got back together yesterday afternoon,” Bella confirmed, Deb pouring coffee grinds into the top before smacking the lid shut. The action made Angel jump a bit, and she tried not to laugh, at seeing a six foot three, probably close to two-hundred-pound biker look like he was on the verge of passing out.  

She moved to hoist herself up onto the counter, picking up her tea. “And where did you stay last night?”

“Hotel,” Bella confirmed. Her mum knew that already, though.  

“Together?” Oh, she could have killed her. She was doing this on purpose for her own amusement, to make Angel feel as uncomfortable as she could.

“Yep,” he confirmed, turning away and closing his eyes tightly for a moment, embarrassment riddling him, Bella eyeing her mum sharply, mouthing ‘stop!’ as she tried not to laugh, turning Angel back around again, hugging his arm.  

“I hope condoms were used.”

“Mummy!” Bella gasped sharply.  

“If the ground could just open up and swallow me right now, or a flock of seagulls fly in and take me away...” Angel trailed off, laughing uncomfortably. Deb couldn’t help but snort a little with laughter. He was funny, she liked that.  

“And do you do that to all women you’re with, Angel? Make their neck look like they’ve gotten into a brawl with a vacuum cleaner?” Of course, the hickeys.  

He didn’t know what the hell to say, so he just went with his gut reaction. If she was going to try and make him feel as uncomfortable as she could, he’d just do what he always did. Be himself. “It’s part of my charm, Deb.” he smiled, hoping he wasn’t about to get kicked in the balls, Bella exploding into giggles at his side.  

“Okay, mum. Stop it now,” she cried, Deb sipping her tea, her eyebrows quivering in delight.  

“Stop what? I’m just getting to know your boyfriend.”

“You’re mortifying him!” Bella yelled, picking up the nearby tea towel and throwing it at her. “And me!”

“Bella, don’t be naughty,” she warned, placing the towel down at her side.

“Pots and kettles, mother!”

“Alright, okay,” she began, laughing softly. “I’ll be good and give you a chance, Angel. Although I am still firmly of the opinion that you’re much too old for her.”

He snorted softly. “I’m thirty-eight, not dead.”

Again, she laughed, feeling herself liking him in spite of her resolute opinion. “So, tell me about yourself, then.”

They all sat down at the island once coffee had been made, Angel speaking of his life, interests and suchlike, Deb nodding periodically, finding a big common ground with him. His favourite author was one of hers.  

“I always wish he’d have written more novels; I really do. I absolutely adored The Prisoner of Heaven. Did you read the English translations or are you fluent in your parent’s native language?” she asked, referencing the book by Spanish author Carlos Ruiz Zafón.

“All of his later work I read translated, because I speak better Spanish than I read it, but my mom made me read his young adult novels in Spanish, so I’d get a better grasp of it. It was important to her, that Ezekiel and I learned. He kinda let it fall by the wayside a little bit, he isn’t as fluent, but I am. Means I get to talk to pop about him and he mostly ain’t got a clue what’s being said, which is fun,” he detailed, Deb nodding, laughing softly. He didn’t look like the type to read, but how apt the saying that you should never judge a book by its cover was in that very instance.  

“And what about this right here?” she then spoke, changing the subject and lifting his arm, tapping his Mayans tattoo. “Mayans MC. You’re all outlaws, aren’t you?”

He got the distinct impression he couldn’t bullshit her, but couldn’t very well detail the truth to her either, so chose somewhere in between. “Some claim that, some say we’re simply a motorcycle enthusiasts club.”

Her reply was direct and speedy. “And what do you say?”

“I say I am who I am, and who I am isn’t necessarily what I do. Who I am is someone who intends to take the very best care of your daughter, because I love her, and it’s that simple. That’s all you have to worry about, Deb.” She wasn’t stupid, and she was worried, about her only child getting herself involved with a man who she more than certainly deduced was involved in criminal activities somehow, by his reluctance to give her any details about the club. What she did see, though, was how genuine his intentions towards Bella were, how clearly he adored her, too.  

It could have been worse, she thought to herself. She could be in a relationship with a guy her own age who hadn’t matured yet, who would spend the vast majority of time acting a fool, messing her around and the like. She got the impression clearly that Angel wasn’t that type. Sure, he had a lot of self-confidence, maybe he was even a little arrogant, but he was sure of himself, much smarter than she thought he gave himself credit for, and above all, he made her daughter happy.  

Despite her reservations, that was what she couldn’t discount the most.  

They stayed for another hour, Bella grabbing a few changes of clothes, telling her mum she’d be back in a few days, having nowhere to be since she was on her summer break from college. With that, Deb waved them off from the door, still not entirely sure over the whole thing, but sitting a little easier with it now that she’d actually met Angel. She could see what all the fuss was over now.  

During the first few weeks they were back together, Angel made a big effort with her mum, insisting on spending time up in La Jolla, even if it did mean he had to sleep on the couch when Deb was home and he stayed overnight, which he thought was funny, since she clearly knew their relationship was sexual. It reminded him back when he was dating in high school and was forced to do the same by whichever girl in question’s parents.  

With Deb’s work meaning that she travelled a lot, going on research trips and speaking at events and conferences, he did get to spend time there without being confined to the couch. On some of those occasions, though, he did wish he was still there...  

“Fucking hell, B!” he grumbled, Bella squeaking with delight as she raced out of bed, managing to knee him in the thighs on her way several times, throwing on her undies and his shirt. “It’s 8am, why are you squealing at 8am?”  

“UPS man!”  

With that she was gone from her bedroom, racing down the stairs while buttoning his shirt, practically skiing to the front door over the polished wood floor to retrieve her huge parcel excitedly. When a sleepy Angel arrived with her, looking delicious in a pair of low-slung sweats and his hair all messy, Bella was cutting the tape open with a knife, still at level one hundred of excitement.  

She only paused to lean down and blow a big raspberry on his happy trail, as she often did when it was presented. Angel knew exactly what he was doing. “So, what’s in the box that’s got you all bouncy?”

“Gran’s care package, all the food from the UK that can’t be bought over here!” He’d never actually been present for one of these unboxings before, Bella beginning to pull things out with gusto.  

“Ribena!” she yelled, Angel feeling like his eardrums were about to explode, moving to the coffee machine and switching it on, locating the ground coffee as he yawned. Turning around, he saw a box he instantly recognised, one of the few British foods he’d actually tried thanks to Bella.  

“Gimme!” Gesturing with his hand, Bella passed him one of the six boxes of Jaffa Cakes, Angel cramming two in his mouth at once as soon as he’d opened the box and cellophane wrapper. It was worth noting that if you ever wished to bribe Angel Reyes, you could do so with the promise of delicacies comprised of chocolate and orange.  

“Monster Munch, oooh! And prawn cocktail crisps!” Immediately, a packet of the latter was opened, Bella cramming in as many as she could fit with a look of bliss upon her face as she crunched through them. “Try one!”

“Hold on.” He paused, taking the juice from the fridge and having a few gulps, not thinking that chocolate and orange would really go well with something prawn flavoured before taking one. “Oh my god, no!”  

She burst out laughing at his face, Angel going right to the trash and spitting it out, picking up the apple juice again to cleanse himself of the bad taste. “They taste like pussy that ain’t been washed, man!”

“Angel, don’t be disgusting!” she chastised, smacking his chest.  

“They fucking do. Ugh, dude!” he grimaced, rummaging in the box. “What’s this stuff?”

“Marmite! You have it on toast, it’s amazing.” Two slices of toast later, and Angel was cautiously biting a corner.  

“That tastes like death.” Nope, he was not a fan. “You’d better brush your teeth before you kiss me again. No, for real, get off!” What followed then was Bella chasing him around the kitchen, puckering her lips, in absolute hysterics as his reluctance, poking her finger in the jar of Marmite during one lap of the island, trying to get it on him. “Don’t you do it, mamas! No!” he warned, grabbing her wrists, Bella not able to fight against his strength, both of them laughing hard. Eventually, she sucked the offending brown goo form her finger, continuing to unpack the box.  

Through trial and error, he found that HP sauce was another failure, Cadbury’s Mini Rolls were a win, as were Monster Munch and Space Raiders. It was a somewhat odd breakfast, but he didn’t mind at all. It made a change from his usual egg whites and a smoothie. What he enjoyed even more after they’d taken a long soak in the bath together was a morning of doing absolutely nothing at all, lazing around the house in comfy clothes, listening to music and talking.  

Well, that and other pursuits that required a little more energy. Not much, but a tad.  

“How can one person be so fucking good with their mouth?” Bella sighed, stroking Angel’s hair as she lay back on the couch, his mouth buried between her legs.  

Pausing from pushing his tongue into her opening, he ran a lick to her clit, circling, sucking on her languidly. “I could ask you the same question here. I’ve never had anyone make me cum so quick from a blowjob before I met you.”

She chuckled softly. “Yeah, I am pretty good, aren’t I?”

“Mmm,” he confirmed, sucking at her again. “Yes you are, querida.” He continued to lay licks of wet heat over her clit until she began to pant rapidly, her sweet, soft moans signalling her blooming, Angel stopping at the crucial moment, turning her side on, moving to lie behind her, his cock steered into the hot grasp of her pussy a second later, levering her thigh up, her knee sliding into the pit of his elbow as he sank in and out of her slowly, laying hot, open-mouthed kisses from her neck to her shoulder and back again.  

It was a slow storm gathering, her hot slick bathing him as he trawled slow, rocking back and forth as his fingertips found her clit, stroking lightly. It edged on too much, but blended with not enough, Bella, trembling, but happy to be exactly where he held her, pleasure gathering without ascension. Sensations fizzed up her spine, the bulk of his muscles pressing to her back making her feel feverish, his groans as he kissed her neck causing her walls to flutter around where he split her wide.  

Slowly, he began giving her more intensity, cock scraping her walls faster, lighting her up like a bonfire, her cries filling the room as the onslaught of him beginning to spear her harder, Bella turning her head to kiss him messily, tongue circling his, reaching back to clasp the back of his head, nails digging in as he rutted her deep, his fingers adding pressure against her clit that sent stars streaking through her.  

She fluttered around him madly, the pulsing heat of her dragging it from him, his cock twitching within the velvet hug of her cunt, her light beginning to blaze over his horizon as it crested and broke like a winter dawn, Angel flooding her deeply, his fingers gentling but not stopping, the sensations rolling through her deeply, warming her bones, his cum dripping out from her around his slowing cock as they fought to breathe.  

The pleasure lay heavy within them, dreamy bliss sending them into the soft realms of slumber, Angel pulling the large throw down from the back of the couch, covering them, remaining inside her as they drifted off. An hour of napping later and they dressed, taking a walk down the beach, the early afternoon warmed but for the brisk breeze coming in from the ocean, the sunshine thawing the slightly biting chill.  

The day reminded Bella how life had been without him, cold and biting, the sunshine warming through his return to her life, as she always dreamed that he would. She was lucky, so, so lucky that he had, too. Her lie, she realised, could have burned the bridge between them forever.  

“Dude, what gives?” he asked, hearing her begin to sniff, turning to see her with tears streaming down her cheeks, Bella flapping the hand that wasn’t holding his.  

“It’s just... I’m... and you’re... and I...”  

He laughed softly. “Those are words, but they don’t explain much.”  

“I hurt you so badly! And I’m terrified of it happening again, ruining it somehow and ending up without you because I buggered it all up!”  

He halted her then, hands resting either side of her neck, thumbs reaching to stroke her cheeks. “Yeah, you did. But what happened, it’s in the past. Do you plan on telling any other lies to me, and I don’t mean little ones like you ate all my protein bars or used the last of my black pepper shower gel...”

“I don’t use it all!” she interrupted.

“Yes you do! You do it because you like smelling of me, I know it, you know it, don’t even front, Isabella!”  

It worked, she began to laugh, drying her eyes. “Alright, alright! And to answer your question, no. No more lies, not ever.”  

“Then you have nothing to worry about, because I ain’t going anywhere.” He pulled her close, kissing her head.

“You swear?”

The way she looked up at him, her beautiful, green eyes still glassy, Angel knew. He knew right then exactly how he could prove to her how very permanently he saw himself returned to her. “You wanna know how serious I am that we ain’t gonna be apart again?”

She nodded, reaching to stroke his face.  

“Alright.” He took a breath, smiling, knowing that either way, he’d remember this moment for the rest of his life.  

“Will you marry me?”

The End.*

*WELL, the end until I begin posting the mini-sequel, besties!

[genesisrose74]

Christmas with the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 1: Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita

Part 2 (Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita) here!!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Daichi

A huge romantic during Christmas, 10/10 quality cliche times spent together

You wanna go ice skating? Hell yeah sweetheart, he will make it the most beautifully romantic thing you’ve ever seen

Like straight out of a holiday postcard type beat

Istg the rink he takes you to looks like a more heartwarming version of Rockefeller Center

He’s a big keeper of tradition when it comes to making plans, but doesn’t mind a bit of nonsense fun when everything falls into place

Which is why you love to bring the team along on adventures because they make everything all the more entertaining

At first he’s confused like ??? You don’t have to do that just if they’ve been pestering you about it

But then he realizes you care as much about them as he does (hint: a hell of a lot) and they’re thus invited along for some stuff

Of course y’all also get some quality time together on dates with just you both

Anyways you and Daichi have talked a lot about traveling and how he was really interested in seeing new places

So as his gift you got him a carved map with a roll of red string and thumbtacks, so that he could plan out all the places he wanted to visit

You know how when Kiyoko found the “Fly” banner for Karasuno and all the boys cried?

Yeah

Like that but with lots more hugging and laughing

“You know you’re gonna have to help with mapping this out, right?”

“Is that an invitation I hear?”

“Oh, that’s a promise”

FJSFJDSK ALEXA PLAY AMERICAN BOY BY ESTELLE��

Please I love him; he is so damn sly and sassy I will die with this headcanon

Sugawara

I swear on everything that Christmas with him is equivalent to a Hallmark movie

It smells like joy and warmth wherever he is, and this season only amplifies it

He is such a cheeseball without even having to try

But it’s in the really endearing and heart-melting way,,, just MMM PERFECT

He’ll take you on a walk through those neighborhoods with those crazy light decorations in the front yard and buy you hot chocolate

If he sees a group of little kids gaping at all the lights, he’ll leave them starry-eyed with stories of magic, reindeer, Santa and so-forth

“You know, I’ve heard that Rudolph’s nose is supposed to be brighter than the world’s most powerful Christmas light”

Good heavens, children absolutely adore this man

Anyways he’ll make it a little game as y’all walk around this beautifully lit neighborhood, both of you with a different assortment of bingo squares printed on paper

First one to bingo chooses a movie to watch after getting back to Suga’s house

Will wrap a big fluffy blanket around you both and pull you into his chest while watching the movie

For his gift, you got a star named after him

It’s because y’all alway go stargazing for dates every month, just to sit out, talk and cuddle

Suga gave you the SOFTEST look after opening your gift and this cute little card you made 🥺

“Lets go try to find my new favorite star”

PLEASE HE IS SO SWEET

“Right now? Koushi it’s 11:30 pm”

“Just for ten minutes, and then I’ll get you home”

So y’all spend the rest of Christmas Eve on his roof, sipping warm tea and attempting to locate Star Suga

Asahi

Cuddle bear alert ‼️‼️

It’s basically hibernation time for him, because he’s not the biggest fan of cold

That’s alright with you though 😌 more coziness for you

Lots of quality moments indoors means more creative dates

A whole day devoted to chill present wrapping? Hell fuckin’ yeah

Nice music, pretty wrapping paper, shiny bows, maybe a little Christmas rom-com playing in the back — the whole shebang

You find out pretty quickly that despite how it sounds, it’s actually quite a satisfying and enjoyable pastime

Practically had to drag him out of your living room to secretly wrap his own gift

As much as he’s the king of timidity and soft™, he can be very playfully stubborn when he’s comfortable, hence why he was such an ass to get out of the room

I have no doubt that Asahi would melt for the most adorable, cheesy shit

So you not only bought him some really reliable headbands for volleyball use, but you also made a little coupon booklet

He can basically cash in paper promises for certain things, like getting to choose the next date idea, picking a movie to watch without any objection, having you make his favorite food, etc.

There’s one that he can exchange for a full out spa day trip, because good heavens he’s a sucker for those

Massage and exfoliation and everything — it makes him feel ✨refreshed✨

He was ecstatic fam, I don’t even know what to say

Like a puppy who just got a bunch of toys and a new backyard to play

Mans cashes in one almost immediately, and at first you’re confused

Like it’s Christmas time bubs, what are we gonna be able to do when most places are closed and it’s the holidays?

Then you read the paper

“Free hug (can be used and renewed <3)”

GIVE HIM HIS DAMN HUGS RIGHT NOW

He uses that one a lot throughout the upcoming days, to the point where he just keeps the paper on him for fun

“You realize you can just ask me silly, you don’t need to keep carrying the coupon around”

“Yeah, but it’s entertaining”

Cute little cheeky bastard

Nishinoya

LOVES LOVES LOVES CHRISTMAS

You know the 12 Days of Christmas? The song??

He gets you a small present EVERY DAY for all 12 days

Not to mention he has a big present that he saves for the actual holiday

Y’all are the type of couple to get ice cream in the middle of winter

Nishi loves his cold snacks any time of year, and you’ve thus picked up a similar taste

He will consistently pester you about what kind of present you got him

Gets pouty when you don’t tell him, but in the back of his mind he’s glad because it would ruin the surprise

Anything you get him instantly becomes his most prized gift tho

It could be a literal rock with googly eyes and he’d put it in a protective glass case for preservation

But of course you get him something better than that because he only deserves the best

He’s got this specific assortment of products to maintain his spiky hair and to make sure it’s healthy, but they’re pretty expensive to buy when he runs out

When he tore open your present’s decorative wrapping to discover a huge basket of basically every hair product he ever needed, he got wide-eyed

There was also a booklet of little notes you’d kept throughout the month that listed all the little things you noticed and adored about your precious boyfriend

He nearly CRIED reading them

“Baby, you didn’t have to do all that for me”

“You act like you don’t deserve all of it and more, Nishi”

Refuses to leave your side after that

Holding your hand, hugging you as tight as he can, etc.

He is head over heels idc idc

Tanaka

Another man who is obsessed with the holiday season and everything that comes with it

He is the biggest sap for this shit istg

Will spend hours trying to get you the best present of all time

And he succeeds exceptionally

Mistletoe? He’s got an ABUNDANCE on hand at any time, just to make sure he can get fair share of his kissies 🥰

His signature beanie appears in full force during winter

Sometimes you’ll pull it over his eyes before giving him a peck on the cheek and dashing off in the school halls

“I’ll see you after school, babe!”

Speech = jumbled + incomprehensible

“Uh hUh, you do that~”

He’s: adorable

I just know that he melts for really sweet and thought-out gifts

Like anything you give him he’ll adore, don’t get me wrong, but the ones done with special care and love are just his kryptonite

He brought you into a massive bear hug and spun you around when he opened a photo book of old pictures taken together, complete with lots of cute messages and anecdotes written alongside them

You and Saeko may have also gone in on another present for him without his knowledge

And on Christmas Eve, you dragged a curious Tanaka into his front yard to the sight of a shiny motorbike

It was Saeko’s old one that she’d held onto for a while, and an old schoolmate offered to fix it up nice in time for the holiday at a discount, so y’all decided to divvy up the lowered price and got it done for Ryu

Sweet boy was taken aback, with his hands clapped over his mouth and everything

Saeko patted him on the back as he stood there in shock, giving her baby brother a sweet smile

“All yours, little bro!”

Ya, Saeko fucking loves you 😌 and so does Tanaka

Overall very lovely, would cry to be loved by the Tanaka siblings

Ennoshita

After spending past Decembers with his fellow second year classmates (namely, the very enthusiastic Noya and Tanaka), he’s grown to know quite a bit about the different holiday events that go on around town

Still, Ennoshita is a pretty simplistic guy and is content with simply spending time with you

So when you recommended going to pick a Christmas tree out for your place together, he’s totally down

As long as he gets to help decorate too ☺️

Y’all end up picking a beauty of a tree ngl

It’s SO TALL

And a super stronk friend — fit for the most heavy duty of ornaments

It takes some damn work to get that bad boi inside and upright after driving back to your house

But like hell did that stop you

Now that it was all set up, sturdy, and given plenty of water, decorations were brought into the equation that same night

No rest until it’s all set up and looking mighty beautiful

Okay maybe some coffee breaks in between, but other than that the grind don’t stop ✋😤

Ennoshita is an expert at making Christmas trees look absolutely immaculate

Idk if it’s because he’s had to deal with cleaning up disorder for a while now?

Looking at you, ya second year loons

He just has the touch, fam

He’ll of course let you have input on which light colors, what type of ornaments, and so on

But honestly it’s really fun seeing him fully concentrated on making your tree the best it can be

He lets you on his shoulders to put on the tree topper 🥺

For his gift, Ennoshita really loves books, so you decided to get him 12 different (hardcover!!) stories — one for each month in a year

Along with a small sticky-note blurb on the covers of each to explain why you chose it, and to give similar title recommendations if he ends up enjoying

He was so surprised with how thoughtful and extensive it was

Loved it so much that he immediately started to read the first one, with you sat in his lap

“Chikara, you realize you’re meant to start this one in January?”

“Shh, I’m getting a head start”

[mintenochian]

what other people want added to Minecraft: g u n s

what I want added to Minecraft

•Birds

-For multiple biomes, but mainly for the forests.

-Songbirds would add SO MUCH life to the otherwise quiet areas of the game

-Ravens and crows would be awesome and could use some of the parrot mimicking AI

-Cardinals in the snow biomes would bring a GORGEOUS pop of colour into the white atmosphere

-Seriously we need something to populate the sky, parrots do NOT fly like they should

-nests in trees, can find eggs in them

-doesn't really add a use but fun new feather types would be cool

•Owls

-technically still a bird but would go really well in covered rooftop forests and snow biomes

-we're already getting larger avians added in the form of vultures so why not more large birds?

•Mice and / or rats

-absolute precious babies

-sadly would go well with owls :(

-with cave update coming we need adorable rodents scurrying around

-lil bastards could make mouseholes inside of blocks

-will they be tameable? idk.

-adds the necessity for cheese

•Deer

-MOJANG this is a MUST, this is a NEED

-You literally have pigs, chickens, cows, and sheep spawning in forests what the fuck

-Deer with spotty baby fawns??? Yes

-Young bucks with different stages of antler growth? Yes

-Fawns frolicking in flower forests bc they feel safe

-Stripped wood appearing on trees where bucks scrape velvet off their antlers

-Being able to collect sets of antlers when they fall off periodically (would NOT be attainable by killing the deer, you have to wait for them to shed)

•Elk and Moose

-Same vein as deer

-Bigger, much bigger, neutral instead of passive, less shy

-Snowy biomes

-Better additions than fucking llamas tyvm

-Sidenote but savannahs could also really use some endangered deer-like species to help raise awareness for their status

•Squirrels

-Mojang plz

-Adds nuts to Minecraft ;)

-Black, grey, red, and mixed colour squirrels and breeding

-Brings life to forests like songbirds and deer

•Bears

-Mojang bby you literally already have a neutral bear in Minecraft why have you not reskinned it for grizzly/brown/black bears?

-Bear caves

-Hibernating mobs

-Brings more use to the beehives and bees, bears could be attracted to any area that has more than one bee hive with honey

•WOLVES AND DOGS

-They NEED the ocelots and cats update

-More wolf types (red, timber, snow, black, etc)

-Actual wolf packs (the AI would be difficult to program but the doges are worth it)

-Please let the howl at the moon, if foxes get to say ringdingding all night long wolves deserve to be allowed to howl

-More dog breeds (I know that there's no reason for domesticated dog breeds in Minecraft but ACTUALLY THERE IS)

-Hunting dogs like springers that can jump and run faster

-Foxhounds :D

-Most Important Goodest Boy: Herding dogs like collies and sheepdogs

-Herding dogs could be found in plains where cows and sheep spawn and create herds

-LET DOGS LAY DOWN FOR FUCKS SAKE

•Herding

-Instead of having to pen up and enclose your livestock you could form herds of cows and sheep

-Your Goodest Boi herding dog would protect them and move around with them when they graze

-Just soft peaceful minecraft tingz

•Salt licks

-Something SO SMALL but would make SO MUCH HAPPINESS

-Drawing new cows into your herd by putting up a salt lick

-I'm soft

-I guess salt would be a new ore???

•Bird feeders

-idk I think it would be cool

-excess seeds used for SOMETHING

•Raccoons

-The coolness of wolves, the chaos of foxes, the cunning of cats

-thumbs

-be gay do crimes

-can open chests (trigger trap chests to catch them?)

-Fantastic little shits

-Not tameable but will trust players like foxes do

•Snakes

-I know it's a lot to ask and it would be hard to make them look good

-But??? Imagine a tiny lil garter snake in your garden

-unlikely but would be so fantastic

•Rope

-climeable

-please Mojang we need this so badly

-imagine the ships? The bridges? The bell towers and everything?

-super easy to add, just reskin vines and add a string crafting recipie

•Butterflies and Moths

-Bflies could be a unique mob to flower forests and friends with bees

-if moobloom is added they would all be BEST BUDS

-get it "buds" ahahaha

-help with flower polination but just gives a TON of life to flower forests

-We literally have lanterns in minecraft why do we NOT have moths? Such a cool aesthetic addition.

-helps fill both the daytime and nighttime sky

•Hummingbirds

-fourth member of BEST BUDS

-just soft baby

-i love birbs okay

-the only avian who does not work for the bourgeoisie

•Fireflies

-10 million of them please

-they give great hugs

-adds so much atmosphere to the night world

•Cheese

-We have milk

-We have, presumably, goat milk

-Quit being cowards and add butter and cheese

-Butter churn job block for villagers

-V funny bc they have no arms to churn with?? Oh well

•Seashells

-Something decorative and beautiful that could 1) liven up beaches and 2) have snails and crabs inside!

-Mojang plz do not add sand dollars to the game people already don't know how to tell if they're still alive before trying to take them home

•Whales

-WHALES.

-Imagine something as massive as the ender dragon but peaceful. Allows you to stand on them (idk how but make it happen Jeb)

-WHALE SONGS.

-Being so deep and far out into the ocean, and when the moon is high in the sky and you're sitting in your boat, you just hear the beautiful melancholy sounds of the whales in the distance

•Jellyfish

-Idk if y'all know this but the glow squid is a bad idea

-Dream buddy you fucked up, please use your influence to get in contact with Mojang and have them redo the vote. People would have so much regained respect for you if you tried to fix your mistake.

-Also why does a speedrunner get to tell millions of people what mob would bring more life to Minecraft? He's only playing the game for 5 minutes smh

-aNYWAYS

-Jellyfish could literally do everything the glow squid is going to and look better for it AND possibly be neutral instead of peaceful

•Orcas

-Not much to say but it would liven up the frozen water biomes a bit

•Penguins

-You already know why

-Imagine giving a new home to all the Club Penguin players? Legendary.

-Gender doesn't exist in Minecraft but we all know penguins would be hella gay

•Lobsters

-I think they would be cute

-You would NOT BE ABLE TO BOIL THEM ALIVE THANK YOU VERY MUCH

•Mermaids

-Never going to happen since passive mobs are generally real life animals but it would be so cool

•Otters

-they can hold hands

-brings life to the rivers

-super cute

•Frogs and possibly toads

-Swamp gods

-Absolute mad lads

-maybe grow from tadpoles

-wouldn't do much but needed

•Fairy Forests

-NOT Twilight Forests. Not a new dimension.

-Just gentle hidden groves in forests

-ADD FAIRY RING GENERATION TO MINECRAFT.

•Big cats

-Tigers, lions, bobcats, panthers

-Literally anything that could finally add a strong predator possibility to savannahs and jungles

•Zebras and Giraffes

-Shy and skittish

-cannot ride (their skeletal structure is NOT MADE FOR CARRYING HUMANS)

-Super cute tho, brings much needed life to savannahs

•Camels

-The better llama

-Can honestly just be a reskin

-brings much needed life to the desert

-spits and wears carpet and forms caravans like llamas

•Lemurs

-Easier to add to "jungles" than monkeys

-it would be really cool if we could just get a Rainforest biome

-King Julian stans awaken

•Red pandas

-we need them

-cuter than normal pandas and you can @ me

-better idea than sloths or koalas

•More Eldritch Horror Hostile Mobs

-Fun fact time

-The enchanting table language already has Lovecraftian references

-"phnglui mglwnafh cthulhu rlyeh wgahnagl fhtagn" is literally a quote from the enchanting table

-translates to "In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."

-Bet you didn't know that fun fact

-aNYWAYS add the Kraken to Minecraft instead of the shitty guardians. Thanks.

-imagine how cool it would be to see lights slowly extinguish as something terrifying and dangerous slowly moves in for the kill

-torches get extinguished and can get relit

-if not relit fast enough Something will be waiting

•Ice statues

-We have giant fossils and ship wrecks and cool stuff like that but please imagine finding a GIANT humanoid ice sculpture in an ice spikes biome

-maybe bones inside to show you that... That wasn't carved or naturally generated.

•Skeletons

-Not a mob but a decoration block

-Found in temples, mineshafts, and caves

-implied to be the remains of miners and explorers

-rare

-also implies that every skeleton you kill has some backstory since they look the same

•Constellations

-Not real world star maps but completely unique to Minecraft

-chance for LOTS of fun references

-The stars are your only companions in an apocalyptic world where you are the last of your kind

-Space is gay minecraft is gay thus minecraft space is gay

•Corn

-we have butter in this list

-we have salt in this list

-popcorn. That is all.

And finally

•Leeks

-mostly a joke but would be a cool crop

-100% a reference to Hatsune Miku the creator of Minecraft

DISCLAIMER: I recognize that mobs are added to Minecraft to serve a purpose within the game and that many of these mobs would be better in mods and such, but I also feel like many of these suggestions would really bring so much more life to parts of the game that really need it. Even if they don't serve a huge purpose, they would still be really amazing additions imo.

I would love to see the ideas and suggestions that other people have for what they want added to Minecraft, please TAG ME if you make a post like this, I wanna hear and read it!

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Little Gem

Summary: Modern AU Alfie nervously meets his boyfriend’s son for the very first time. 

          Tommy wasn’t much of a sleeper. He didn’t need too many hours of shut-eye to be productive. But he soon knew that the scarce sleep he managed to get would be cut in half very soon.

           It began one May morning when his husband asked, completely out of the blue, about babies. Charlie was turning six that summer and according to Alfie, the house was far too big for just the three of them plus Cyril.

           Tommy requested he get to the point. So Alfie explained that he wanted a baby. He’d raised Charlie since he was about three. Grace had passed away and Tommy began to confide in his business partner about his hurt. Alfie was surprisingly a good person to talk about emotions to. Unlike the rest of his family, the Jewish man was a little franker with his feelings. If he was upset or happy the world was damn well going to know.

           So prolonged business meetings turned into chats which turned into going out to dinner which turned into dinner at each other’s’ homes, which turned into sex. The relationship developed and soon, not soon enough according to Alfie, the two were married. Alfie adopted Charlie and they became a happy family. Charlie adored his papa and often times would gravitate towards him even over Tommy.

           Now, Alfie wanted to raise a baby, from the very beginning this time around. It took some convincing and finding a surrogate. A friend they met from Charlie’s school was more than happy to take on the role and before they knew it, she was pregnant.

           Alfie was thrilled to find out they were having a girl. “A boy and girl, Tommy that’s fucking perfect ain’t it?” He beamed as they put the ultrasound picture up on the refrigerator.

           Now, their daughter was due any day and Tommy was getting in as much sleep as possible in preparation. He wasn’t sure Alfie was quite ready for the sleepless nights, the man slept like a hibernating bear.

           But Tommy wouldn’t be getting any extra sleep that night. At two in the morning, Alfie shook his husband awake.

           “Tom, Tommy, Deb texted me.” He jostled him until the man batted his hands away.

           “What? What?”

           “Deb texted me saying her water broke!” Alfie exclaimed with a hint of joy and absolute terror. “We’ve gotta get the things in the car. Wake up, Charlie!”

           Tommy sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Alfie, if her waters just broke it’ll be hours before the baby actually starts to crown. You’ve put it in the GPS a million times, it only takes us ten minutes to drive to the hospital.” He mumbled. “Get a few more hours of sleep.”

           “I can’t go back to sleep, the fucking baby is coming!” He retorted sharply. “Now get your arse outta bed. I’ll call Polly to come watch Charlie.” He rushed out of the room texting away.

           Tommy yawned and sighed. Sure, he was excited that his daughter was coming, but he’d been around the block before. Grace was in labor with Charlie for over six hours. It was a waiting game and he wasn’t about to show up at the hospital at two in the morning with a frazzled Alfie. It wouldn’t do Deb any good. So, he would try his best to stall.

~~~~~~~~~~

           Two forty-five in the morning and Tommy had managed to keep Alfie from bursting at the seams. He slowly packed the car with all the bits for their newborn while his husband was shouting updates from Deb. Not that any of the updates were different, just timing between contractions.

           Charlie was well awake and still in his pajamas. He wandered back and forth asking Alfie and Tommy when the baby would come.

~~~~~~~~~~

           Three in the morning and Alfie couldn’t stand not being at the hospital for another minute. Polly wasn’t answering as it was the dead of night, so Alfie put some shoes on Charlie, dressed him in a coat and packed him into the car as well.

           “Alfie, we agreed that he would stay here…” Tommy protested when he saw their son half asleep in the car seat.

           “It’ll be sweet, aye?” Alfie frantically double checked that they had everything. “He’ll get to see his baby sister. Don’t you want to see your baby sister, treacle?”

           Charlie yawned and mumbled an incoherent response, his head lolling to the side.

           Tommy sighed. “Can you just wait another half…”

           “No!” Alfie exclaimed and got in the passenger side seat.

           “Alright…” Tommy went to get the car keys. “Here we go then.”

`~~~~~~~~~~~

           It was a wait, although not as long as it had taken Charlie to arrive. Alfie was a nervous wreck in the waiting room and could hardly stay still. Tommy slept in the corner with Charlie in his lap. Eventually, Alfie woke him up and said the baby was crowning and Deb said they could be in the delivery room.

           Tommy left Charlie with a nurse and headed in with his husband. As they agreed, Alfie cut the umbilical cord when Ruby came out.

           Alfie was breathing unevenly as the nurse came out with their cleaned and swaddled daughter. She smiled and gently placed the little bundle in his arms.

           “Fucking hell…” The hardened man was reduced to nothing but tears of joy when he first saw his daughter’s pink face. “Look at you, yeah? Tommy, love, look.”

           Tommy came to stand next to his husband, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Little’un, aye?” He chuckled and reached up to graze his thumb over Ruby’s soft cheek.

           “Dark hair like her daddy.” Alfie choked out a laugh. “Our little gemstone. Our little Ruby.”

~~~~~~~~~~

           Despite the chaotic early morning, the dust settled and things were unimaginably calm at that moment. Alfie and Tommy were fixed on how absolutely perfect she was.

           A few hours after she was born, Charlie was brought into the room. Tommy took his hand and led him over to the bassinette where Ruby was half asleep. “See?”

           Charlie stood on his tiptoes, pressing his face to the plastic side of the bassinette. The little thing wriggled and waved a hand in her swaddle. “Hi.” He said very quietly.

           Alfie smiled and smoothed Charlie’s hair back. “What’d you think, then?” He asked.

           “She’s small.” The little boy shrugged. There wasn’t much else to say.

           Ruby squirmed and started to scrunch up her face in discomfort. Without much prompt, she began to wail. Charlie jumped and pressed his hands over his ears in shock. He wasn’t sure how such a little bit could be so loud.

           Alfie scooped Ruby up and patted her back. “Sh, sh, love, s’alright.”

           Charlie frowned and decided to leave, hands still blocking his ears. Tommy was a little amused but went to follow his son. “Where’ya going?” He asked.

           “She’s so loud,” Charlie whined in protest. “How’d you turn her down?”

           Tommy laughed softly and knelt down. “Not like the TV, Charles, you can’t lower the volume. You can get that loud too, you know.”

           His son looked disinterested. “I’m bored.”

           “Alright, well, your aunt and cousin’ll be here soon,” Tommy promised. “Papa wanted to get pictures of you and Ruby together though. Maybe you could hold her?”

           “No, I don’t wanna.” Charlie shook his head and went to the waiting room to find some toy to tinker with. Tommy sighed. So the sibling uniting wouldn’t be as easy as they assumed.

~~~~~~~~~~

           “Easy, easy.” Alfie cringed at how Tommy lifted the car seat carrier into the car.

           “Oh boy.” Tommy chuckled and buckled the carrier in. “She’s alright, Alfie, I promise.”

           Charlie hopped into the car and got himself buckled into his own seat. He leaned over to peer into the blankets that Ruby was nestled into.

           “Now, Charles.” Tommy leaned over into the backseat. “You’ve got a very important job to do on the way home. Do you want a job?” He asked.

           Charlie perked up. He always loved helping out his dad and papa. “Yeah!”

           “Good lad. I need you to watch after your sister on the drive back. Make sure she’s okay. This is her first car ride. Can I trust you?”

           He nodded eagerly and reached over to place a hand on the car seat.

           Tommy smiled and tousled his son’s hair. “I believe in you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

           On the drive back, Charlie kept his eyes intently fixed on his sister. Every time she moved, he made note of it. When she opened her eyes, her brother smiled and shook one of the toys attached to the carrier in front of her.  

           Halfway home, Tommy slammed on his brakes to avoid a car cutting in front of them.

           “Jesus Christ, Tom!” Alfie snapped and braced himself against the dashboard.

           “Daddy, not good!” Charlie barked at his father.

           Tommy’s eyes widened at the criticism immediately thrown at him. “Sorry, I didn’t want to hit that person, it were their fault!” He protested.

           “Is she alright?” Alfie twisted around in the front seat.

           Charlie nodded. Ruby hadn’t even stirred. “Yeah, papa, she’s alright.”

           Alfie smiled. “Good, thank you, treacle.”

           Tommy checked in the rearview mirror and couldn’t help but smile too as he watched Charlie adjust Ruby’s blankets to cover her little sock-covered feet. Maybe he was too quick to judge. Maybe the two would get along after all.

Masterlist

[joeybelle]

Oh, how the tables have turned - Part 6

Inspired by @clyde-prompts: “Some guys are rude and use ableist slurs against Clyde. The reader is with them, and although she feels bad about what’s happening, is too scared to say anything in front of her “friends”. She comes back to the bar a couple nights later to try and show him she’s not a bad person. They get to know each other and fall in love”. Doesn’t fully follow the prompt.

Warnings: Language, first person POV, mentions of wasps and bug spray - lethal combo, IDK what I’m doing.

Word count: ~4700

Rating: Mature

Setting: Pre-heist

A.N: I kept delaying this part because I wanted to post it together with part 7 (since 5, 6 and 7 are meant to be one big chapter), but it isn’t finished yet and it might take a while until I finish it since Sunday is my only day off and that might be pretty busy too. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy it and sorry for the wait! Any feedback is more than welcome, and if you’re bored send me a message, I love talking to people. Just remember that I’m on European time and if I don’t reply right away I might be sleeping or at work.

Tags: @lonelyravenclaw @kyloren-supreme-ben @onmyknees4steve @elsablackswift @helloimindelaware @mwcritics @makingtimemine @littlekylo

Saturday came with an unexpected wave of heat and humidity that left me unable to move without sweating buckets. Still, I was thankful it wasn’t raining again, although by the way the air felt it would probably start raining soon. Since my house had no AC, I was a bit reluctant to have people over. Nothing I could do now, besides keeping cold drinks on hand and setting up the garden hose in case anyone needed some quick cooling down. (Me. It was definitely going to be me.)

Finding all the ingredients to make muffins from scratch had been a challenge, especially since it seemed that everyone and their mother chose to make something involving blueberries. After getting the ‘I’m sorry, we just sold the last one’ answer from all the local stores, I headed to the nearest supermarket, and then to the next one, where I had to battle a couple of old ladies to get my hands on some. I only won because I was faster, but by the look they gave me as I ran away with the blueberries, they were set on getting revenge. I would have to live in fear for the rest of my life.

Fortunately, when Jimmy’s car pulled into the driveway, I had everything ready. I was pretty sure I had enough ingredients to potentially feed a small village, but I was really excited by the prospect of baking. It had been a long time since I had a working kitchen and the time to cook (and also, someone to cook for), so I may have exaggerated a bit. I was planning to make blueberry muffins, chocolate chip, raspberry and white chocolate, and maybe banana if anyone wanted more. And sandwiches for lunch, something quick and filling that I could put together in minutes so I could help if they needed me. There was a chicken parmesan casserole already prepped in the fridge, ready to throw in the oven for a filling dinner later on. By the amount of materials piled in my garage, it wasn’t a job that would be finished in a few hours.

Sadie bolted out of the car with a huge grin on her face and attacked me right away. Jimmy looked reasonably awake, but Clyde looked like a total mess. I guessed he really wasn’t used to waking up this early, since I assumed he was pulling long hours at the bar. I felt bad for him, but not so bad that I wouldn’t smile at his sleepy face.

“I have coffee,” I said instead of good morning.

“Don’t worry about him,” Jimmy laughed, earning a sideways glance from his brother. “It just takes a while to wake the bear from hibernation.”

“Well, I’m sorry…”

“One,” Clyde interrupted me, and it took me a moment to understand what he was talking about, but the tiny smirk in the corner of his mouth clued me in.

“That’s playing dirty,” I said, crossing my arms. Technically I wasn’t apologizing to him, so it didn’t count. Did it?

“Still counts,” he mumbled as he passed me.

I shook my head and smiled. This was going to be a long day, and I would enjoy the hell out of it. “Anyone want breakfast?” I offered, but Jimmy shook his head.

“We’re good,” he said, pulling a ladder out of the back of his truck. “We better get started soon before it gets too hot.”

“Well, at least come and get some coffee. It’s cold brewed.”

“What’s that?” Jimmy asked, a confused look on his face.

“It’s a fancy type of iced coffee,” Clyde explained. “You put it in cold water and…”

“Why would you drink cold coffee,” Jimmy asked me, completely ignoring his brother who shut his mouth with a frown.

“It’s refreshing,” I said, shrugging. “It’s perfect for hot weather.”

He didn’t seem convinced. “Yeah, it’s just some of that sophisticated New York shit you brought with you, isn’t it?”

“Oh come on,” I laughed. “It’s not that fancy. It’s just imported Brazilian coffee that I ground yesterday especially for you guys. Coarse ground, steeped into cold spring water for a whole day. Perfect!”

“Wow,” was all Jimmy had to say, but I could see him stifling a laughter.

“Authentic Brazilian coffee and expensive vodka? You must be really high maintenance,” Clyde said, with a serious face.

“Yeah,” I said, winking. “As high maintenance as someone without a working AC unit, a leaking roof and a mostly unfurnished house can be.”

He smiled and I let Sadie drag me for a tour of the house. It wasn’t much to see, but she was really excited to find Clyde the Bear occupying half of my bed. To my embarrassment, I had to admit that I had gotten used to sleeping with the huge toy. It was a really good cuddle buddy and I had gotten into the habit of talking to it when I was feeling like the house was too empty. Yes, I was that pathetic.

Fortunately, Sadie was the only one to see it, and I was sure none of the adults would invade my bedroom without permission, so I would be spared the embarrassment. Unfortunately, my secret had been safe exactly one minute and twenty-five seconds, exactly how long it took Sadie to find her uncle and rat me out.

“What?” I replied to Clyde’s amused smile. “I’m basically five. I have no idea who let me be an adult.” If you have no plausible excuse, just run with it. Better than trying to deny it and fuel the teasing. “You lost a muffin for spilling my secret, little lady,” I said, pointing a finger at a laughing Sadie.

Clyde’s smile grew broader seeing that I wasn’t denying it, but it wasn’t a mocking smile. He was quite cute that Saturday morning, with his sleepy face and his messy hair that looked curlier than usually. There was still a tiny bit of his usual shyness, but it wasn’t as noticeable as before.

“Anything I can help you guys with?” I asked, when Jimmy returned from my garage with some more tools.

“Umm… no, not yet,” he said, scratching his head and looking at the roof. “We’ll call you if we need help.”

“Alright,” I said, turning to Sadie. “Do you wanna help me make muffins? I’m not sure I can do everything myself.”

She excitedly followed me to the kitchen. I had made some space the day before, moved the boxes to a corner of the living room, replaced the dining table with a smaller, foldable one I found in storage. Even with an energetic kid running around, there was less of a chance of any accidents happening. Or at least, I hoped. The memory of Clyde catching me in his arms was still pretty fresh in my mind.

To my surprise Sadie was really good at following directions and actually gave her best. I would have been able to make all the muffins in maybe a third of the time if I had done them at my own pace, but the point was to entertain her while her dad fixed my roof. I didn’t get to spend much time with kids while I lived in New York, since I’d been too busy surviving, but Sadie was such a good kid that I actually enjoyed it. She was quite talkative, telling me stories about her brothers, her mom and dad, about her school and about Clyde and Mellie, so by the time the first batch of muffins were in the oven, I felt like I had been part of the Logan family for ages.

Working in the kitchen ended up being a bit distracting, I found out pretty early on. After getting out all the necessary materials, they set up the ladder and Jimmy climbed into the attic, leaving Clyde on the ground to hand him things. Right in front of my kitchen window. I fought the urge to call my parents and curse them for designing the only entrance to our otherwise unused attic right in front of my window, so I’d be forced to watch Clyde Logan stretch as he handed tools to his brother, but I remembered that the house was built by my grandparents, and I’d need an Ouija board to contact them. But as time passed and my eyes kept darting to the man outside—whose t-shirt was juuust a bit too tight and his muscles just a bit too taut—I was actually considering Ouija-ing some carefully considered well-wishes to my ancestors. I did my best, however, to focus on something else.

If I were to be completely honest, if Sadie hadn’t been there to distract me from being too distracted by Clyde, I would have probably just pulled a chair in front of the counter, poured myself a perfectly brewed cup of iced coffee and indulged into staring out the window. I mean, that’s how a considerable amount of porn movies started: a hot dude fixing something, a horny woman leering at him and the rough sex that follows, I thought, absentmindedly fanning myself with a napkin, and it wasn’t because of the constantly increasing temperature in my kitchen.

“Do you like uncle Clyde?” Sadie asked, making me snap out of my thoughts.

“Yeah, don’t you?” I tried deflecting the question, turning around and opening the fridge. The cool air coming out of it was a blessing. I really needed to get some air conditioning installed as soon as possible.

“Yeah, but that’s not what I asked,” she giggled.

Of course not. “What did you ask, then?” Play dumb until they get bored, I thought to myself, however I had forgotten just how persistent kids could be.

“If you like like him,” she said in a serious tone.

“How do you like like someone?” Keep playing dumb.

“Oh you know,” she giggled once again and hopped of the chair coming next to me and the still open fridge. “You wanna go with them on dates, and hold hands, and kiss… and make babies and then get married and live happily ever after.”

Well, that escalated quickly. “In that order?” I asked, getting two sodas from the fridge and finally closing it, just as it started hysterically beeping at me.

Sadie shrugged as she took the can I handed her. “So do you like him?” she continued, making me almost choke on my drink.

“What makes you ask that?” I tried further deflecting the question, because kids should never be trusted with sensitive information, certainly not one as talkative as Sadie.

“You keep staring at him,” she laughed and I cursed myself for being caught red-handed.

“I don’t stare at him,” I lied, but I was sure it wasn’t very convincing. “I was just looking out the window, that’s all.” Sadie kept smiling and I shook my head. In the end it’s not like it was that big of a secret that I liked him. After all, he knew and he was the only one that mattered. But I didn’t really want her blurting it out in public and making it more awkward than it already was. “Okay, maybe,” I said, giving her a serious look. “But that’s gonna be our secret. If you tell anyone I’m gonna find out where you live, hide under your bed and tickle you right as you’re falling asleep,” I threatened, approaching her while wiggling my fingers in a pretty menacing way. “Promise?”

“Promise!” she giggled, trying to hide from my tickle attack.

“Okay, great! Do you want a sandwich?” I changed the subject. I was starting to think that

The Logans would age me prematurely. Not that I needed any help in that department.

I showed Sadie how to make some icing, just to keep her busy while I put together some sandwiches. She wanted a turkey ham one, with extra mayo and crusts cut off and I made it exactly as she wanted it. Cut it into quarters to make it easier to eat, but Sadie was really taking her whisking job seriously, so I resorted to feeding the pieces to her over the bowl.

I glimpsed out the window to see an amused Clyde watching me feed his niece, a big piece of my own sandwich sticking— pretty comically I assumed— out of my mouth, his hands full with what looked like some old wood. I shoved another piece of sandwich into Sadie’s mouth, swallowed what remained of mine and went to open the window. The boys had been working for quite some time, so I assumed they’d be hungry already. I knew I was, and the only thing I had done all morning was watch a kid paint my kitchen in muffin batter.

“Would you like to take a break? Grab something quick to eat?” I asked, leaning onto the counter, and trying to get my head out the window. He didn’t seem opposed to the idea, and after throwing the old wood in a pile of garbage, he climbed up the ladder to talk to his brother.

“Jimmy said he’s not hungry yet. Maybe later.”

“Are you hungry?” I pressed, because he really looked like he had skipped breakfast. While the cup of coffee I had given him earlier seemed to have woken him up, he still looked a little sluggish.

“A bit,” he shrugged.

“Ok, I’ll make you a sandwich and you can eat it while working,” I said and he nodded. “What would you like?”

“Anything is fine.”

I quickly put some things together, making something that was definitely not instagram ready, but it was pretty filling and I knew it would taste pretty good. Placed it on a plate and pushed it towards the open window.

Clyde had come down from the ladder, a new layer of dust and debris covering him. He had specks of dust caught in his hair and a dark smudge on his nose, like he had tried scratching it with dirty hands. He had to at least take a break and wash his hands, but Jimmy called him from the attic, needing something else. It seemed he wouldn’t be having a moment to spare.

I sighed and pulled back the sandwich, cut it into small wedges like I did with Sadie’s and grabbed a piece.

“Clyde, come here,” I called, extending my arm through the open window, once he was back on the ground. He looked at the dirt covering his hands and then at the piece of sandwich in mine. “Bite,” I said motioning to the food. He looked at it a little confused, but then smiled and came closer. He bent down to my level and took a tentative bite. “Put more strength into it, Logan,” I laughed.

I didn’t even try to keep a straight face, because a grown man, built like a brick shithouse eating out of my hand was both comical and surprisingly enticing. He was also laughing and I hoped he wouldn’t choke on the food, because I was sure I wouldn't be able to pull the Heimlich maneuver on him. He took another quick bite as Jimmy called his name again and his lips briefly brushed my fingers. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks, and I returned to the kitchen.

“Don’t laugh at us, young lady,” I said, pointing at Sadie with what was left of the sandwich, “we’re Adults.”

I had to quickly check on the muffins in the oven. They were done so I took them out, placed them on the cooling rack and shoved another batch in. By the time I was done, Clyde had returned and was hovering near the window. I hopped onto the counter to be able to reach better. I gestured for him to stick his head inside as I took another piece of sandwich and brought it to his lips. He was a little too enthusiastic taking a bite and accidentally nipped my finger.

“My fingers aren’t part of the meal, Logan,” I laughed, while Sadie climbed onto a chair next to me.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, and I could see a blush creeping up his cheeks.

“One!” I grinned, because now I wasn’t at a disadvantage anymore.

I took another piece of sandwich and shoved it into Sadie’s giggling mouth. By now I was sure that both of them could feed themselves, but it was just too funny to stop and both of them seemed to enjoy it.

“I’m your bird mama now,” I proudly announced, placing the last bits of food into the open and waiting mouths of my newly adopted baby birds.

A loud shriek coming from above made me jump off the counter, knocking over a glass that shattered on the floor. Clyde scrambled to remove himself from the window without breaking anything, and hurried to climb up the ladder only to be almost knocked down by a panicked Jimmy.

“What the fuck?” I breathed, completely forgetting that there was a child with me and I should have been watching my language. I grabbed Sadie and carried her over the shattered glass, hurrying to get out the door and see what was going on.

“Do you have bees or wasps in your attic?” she asked, and seemed a lot calmer than me.

“Maybe?” It was possible, I couldn’t deny it. “Is he allergic to them?” I asked, feeling a cold shiver run down my spine.

“No,” she giggled, and somehow that didn’t do anything to calm me down. “Just scared.”

I dropped the girl down on the grass and ran towards her father. Jimmy looked a little pale and his breathing was laboured, but didn’t look injured.

“What happened?” I asked.

“He got scared of some wasps, that’s what happened,” Clyde explained with a frown on his face, but I couldn’t tell if his tone was judgemental or not.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, placing a hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. “I had a team come over right after I moved here and they said they took care of any rodents or insects. They told me I had some wasps in the attic, but that they sprayed everywhere and removed the nests and that it shouldn't be a problem anymore. It’s my fault, I should have checked beforehand.” Now I realized just how stupid and unprepared I was. What if he was allergic and he had gotten stung. I didn’t really want to imagine what would have happened.

“No, no! It’s not your fault. I know there are wasps in attics, and I checked before starting work, but these… these just came out of nowhere and I panicked.”

“I’m so sorry, Jimmy,” I apologized again.

“He just needs a cold beer and he’ll be fine,” Sadie said, showing up out of nowhere with a beer bottle in her hand. She seemed really used to this situation, so it might have been a somewhat common occurrence.

“Thanks, Sadie-bug,” Jimmy said, taking the bottle from her hand.

“Hey, you shouldn’t go into the kitchen,” I said, frowning at her, suddenly remembering the broken glass. “There’s glass everywhere.”

“It’s okay, I jumped over it,” she smiled, incredibly proud of herself, completely ignoring the fact that she could have slipped and landed in the pile of shards. Yep, the Logans would be the death of me. I sighed.

“Well, y’all wait here while I go clean up and fetch the bug spray.”

“I’ll help,” Clyde offered, and I didn’t stop him.

As the day was getting hotter, so was my kitchen. With the oven running for so long, it was almost too much. I could feel beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead. Clyde seemed to be taking it even worse than me, but I almost expected it, with his fair skin and all. I considered opening another window, but at this point I knew it wouldn’t make any difference, since it seemed to be just as hot outside too. We’d have to suffer.

Clyde started sweeping the floor while I took the muffins out of the oven. Due to the whole commotion I had forgotten I had some in, but luckily I saw them in time, before they turned into a pile of charcoal. Sadie would have been sad. I kept glancing at Clyde as I moved around the kitchen. His t-shirt was quickly getting soaked, and I couldn’t stop looking at how it stuck to his broad back. Get a hold of yourself, you foul woman, I scolded myself and I started looking for the bug spray.

“Three,” he said as he caught me stealing another glance.

“What? No! Nope. It wasn’t said to you, it doesn’t count.”

“It does count.”

“No it doesn’t,” I said, pointing a finger at his nose. “Plus it was something I had to apologize for. Someone nearly died attacked by wasps.” I didn’t know why I was resisting, after all I just had to buy him a couple of drinks, and to be honest I wasn’t opposed to spending more time with him. I just didn’t want to lose at this stupid game we were playing.

“Well that’s why you have one apology a day,” he said in a serious manner. “Don’t waste it.”

“It wasn’t meant for you so it doesn’t count,” I insisted. “Unless you wanna follow me around to see just how many times I apologize to other people, you won’t be able to know for sure. And come on, don’t make it too easy,” I said, winking at him.

He stopped sweeping and looked at me for a few moments. “Alright,” he said, resigned, “it’s still one, then.”

I grinned and went back to looking for the can of spray. I found it by the time the floor was cleaned and both of us drenched in sweat. With the oven turned off and the window open, I was hoping it would eventually cool down, but there was no sign of that happening anytime soon.

I grabbed the can and went outside, Clyde following me closely. It was some type of industrial grade bug spray I had brought with me from New York. There’s nothing better than New York to teach you how to deal with a bug problem. I knew for a fact that it worked on wasps too, because I manually sprayed some before I called a team of professionals to deal with them.

That being said, I wasn't overly thrilled by the prospect of going into the attic to battle god knows how many angry wasps, but I had no choice.

“I can go up there,” Clyde offered, but I could see he wasn’t thrilled either.

“Nah, you’re too tall to fit in there,” I said. The attic was nothing more than a cramped space between the roof and the ceiling, it wasn’t big enough for Clyde to stand properly.

“But…” he objected.

“My house, my rules,” I cut him off and started climbing the ladder.

The only upside of this whole situation was that Clyde was getting a great view of my ass, as he held onto the ladder to stabilize it. I really hoped he was enjoying the view, because soon I’d probably come back down stung by wasps and doused in bug spray, which I suspected wasn’t such a great look on me. I climbed inside the attic and glanced down. By the light blush on his cheeks and his averted gaze I was pretty sure he’s enjoyed the view. Of course, it could have just been the heart, but it could also have been my ass.

I didn’t step inside as full of courage as I wanted, but at least there was no one up there to watch me cowardly look around for the stingers. The space was incredibly hot and full of dust and my throat and lungs didn’t like it one bit, but I kept as silent as I could so I would hear the wasps. Luckily, there was a big hole in the roof where Jimmy had started taking off the tiles, so there was more than enough light.

I found the culprits after a few minutes of searching. They were trying to build a new nest next to a beam, and I ruthlessly sprayed them before they could attack me. I felt sorry for them, but this was my house and they should have found a better place to invade. I took down the half built nest, as the exterminator had told me to do, and sprayed the spot where it had been attached.

I left the can next to Jimmy’s tools before climbing down. In case anything like this happened again, at least he had a weapon.

“All done,” I said, hopping down the ladder. I was greeted with some enthusiastic cheers. “How about we take that break now? I think the muffins have cooled down by now and they’re awaiting to be tasted.” More enthusiastic cheers. “I think I’ll bring the food outside, it’s a bit too hot and stuffy in the house. Sadie, wanna help me? There’s the hose, you can wash up if you want, or you can use the bathroom inside.”

I placed the food on paper plates and Sadie carried them outside one by one, hopefully without dropping anything on the ground. We placed a big blanket on the grass, because bringing out the table and chairs would be too much work and everyone decided it just wasn’t worth it. Sadie said it felt like a picnic and we just went along with that.  

I came out with cold drinks and nearly dropped the bottles when I rounded the corner, because a shirtless Clyde dousing himself with the garden hose was really something I wasn’t expecting to see. The whole porn idea flashed through my brain again and I almost turned around and went back to the house but that would have been a bit too obvious, especially since Clyde turned his head and looked at me. I averted my gaze and hurried to the blanket.

Jimmy was grinning and I wanted to strangle him.

“Whatever’s behind that grin, I don’t wanna hear it,” I warned him and placed the bottles on the blanket, plopping next to him.

“I ain’t saying nothing!” He lifted his arms in a defensive gesture and opened a beer bottle, but the grin still plastered on his face scared me. So that wasn’t very reassuring.

“Well I can almost hear you thinking it.” I didn’t know what ‘It’ was, but I was scared.

“I don’t have to say anything, your blush speaks for itself,” he said, grabbing a sandwich, and I wanted to shove it down his throat whole so I’d be sure he’d keep his mouth shut, but Sadie reappeared from somewhere around the bushes and I knew better than to allow myself to be violent in front of a kid. For now at least.

However, he kept his word and didn’t say a thing while we ate, but he did snicker when Clyde joined us. He wasn’t shirtless anymore, thank heavens, because if he were I’d probably spontaneously combust, but his t-shirt was wet and stuck to his chest in all the right places and... okay, this wasn’t that much better. I did my best to focus on anything else for the remainder of the meal.

The food— and especially the muffins— had been very well received by the Logans and it made me really happy. It felt nice being appreciated and also it felt nice to be able to do something for the people who were giving up their free time to help me out. I was really lucky that someone cared enough for me to do that.

But I think what made me the happiest was Clyde’s confession that he hadn’t eaten muffins so tasty since the ones his mother used to make. It was sad that since she passed no one made them muffins anymore, so I promised I’d bake more for them if they agreed to build me another mailbox. With hand painted butterflies and all. Jimmy almost choked laughing and recounted the story in more (embarrassing) detail than Clyde had and by the time we finished eating, my jaws were hurting from laughing so hard.

Masterlist

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[death-by-fanfiction]

Junk of the Heart (Happy). Reddie Fanfiction Chapter 2.

(1)

We get so Drunk that we can Hardly See

‘After all this time…’ Eddie thought as he was falling asleep. ‘Richie still makes my heart hurt in strange ways’ He drifted to the smell of cigarette smoke on Richie. He would’ve gone off on him, but there was something soothing about the smell. It made him feel safe, raw, something clean. Eddie fell asleep wondering why such a disgusting thing made him feel so free. Eddie dreamt a strange dream that helped him understand these questions.

It was back in his childhood. He had to be just a little older than 4. Eddie was running around and playing in mud and dirt just like little kids do. He looked over to the porch where his Mother was sitting reading the newspaper and smoking a cigarette. Distracted by a baby frog in the corner in his eye, Eddie went over and picked it up holding it in his hands.Once having a good grasp on the frog he brought it over to his Mother to show her his findings.

“Mommy! Mommy look!” Eddie cheered as he showed her the baby frog. If his Mom saw this now it would have given her a heart attack and rushed him to the ER to check for any infections. She did nothing but smile at him.

“Wow Edward! Look at what a big boy you are catching frogs all by yourself.” She praised him.

“Mommy can we keep him? Please?” He begged her. She only laughed, put out her cigarette and picked him up.

“Now Eddie I know you really want to keep him, but he has a family too and you want him to grow up big and strong so he can have his own family one day too, right?” She carried him back into the garden where he was previously playing. Eddie only nodded and kneeled down and opened his hands to let the frog out. It hopped out and into the bushes. “I’m proud of you Edward.”  She kneeled down next to him and put her hand on his shoulder. “Now how about we clean you up and go get some ice cream?” Eddie turned around and started nodding frantically.  She laughed and picked him up to take him inside. Eddie laid his head on her shoulder, and the strong scent of cigarettes overtook his senses.

This memory linked to another one, one less happy. It was the middle of the night and Eddie was in his room sleeping when he was woken up by someone yelling. He stood up to get out of bed, instantly feeling dizzy as he did but still moved to the door. As he walked out of his room and into the kitchen to hear his Mom yelling at someone he couldn’t hear. As soon as he walked into the kitchen he saw his Mom this phone on the table back onto it’s stand. He couldn’t tell at the time but she was holding a nearly empty bottle of whisky.

“Mommy?” Eddie said quietly as he turned into the kitchen. Her head snapped up and turned to look at him.

“What?” Her words were slurred but still understandable and harsh to the small boy.

“Mommy I don’t feel good.” He said as he felt a harsh tickle in his throat.

“Oh you don’t feel good do you?” Her eyes narrowed on him. He nodded and fidgeted with his hands as she stood up. She walked over to cabinet pulled out a bottle of pills and threw them at him. “There those will fix your ass right up” The bottle hit Eddie right in his chest and forced the cough he had been holding in out. He broke straight into a coughing fit. He thought nothing of it until he couldn’t stop coughing, his throat burned. He was coughing so much he couldn’t breath. An irony taste started to fill his mouth. Dark red blood leaked out of his mouth as he continued to talk.

“M-M-Mom. “ Eddie worked out from his coughs. When she turned to see the blood pouring out of her son's mouth. Finally realizing the situation they were in sobered her. She dropped the bottle of whisky and it shattered all over the floor as she rushed to Eddie.

“Oh my god.. Edward!” She picked him up and put his head over her shoulder. Getting the blood he was coughing up onto her shoulder. Picking the phone up and dialing 9-1-1. Eddie couldn't breath. His entire body hurt, vision blurring. He closed his eyes unaware that that might of been his last waking moment. After that He only got glimpses of what was happening. Red and blue lights. Doctors. His mother crying. A small orange bottle with colorful candies inside. He didn’t understand that this one experience would spiral into a whole future of lying and suffering.

Eddie wasn’t dreaming anymore. He opened his eyes to daylight and birds singing. His face was cold but the rest of his body was warm. Eddie went to touch his face, maybe warm it up. He couldn’t move, he was trapped. Confused he looked around to see Richie. His arms wrapped tightly around his hips. Eddie right on top of Richie. Eddie’s whole face went red.

“Oh my god.” He whispered. Being as quiet as possible Eddie tried to get out of Richie’s tight grasp. Picking himself up only to be pulled right back down by Richie’s sleeping body. Eddie decided the best thing to do was throw caution to the wind and with all his might pulled his body out of the sleeping boy’s strong grasp. He sat himself up and wrapped the blanket tightly around himself.  He waited for Richie to wake up but nothing. ‘Of course’ Eddie thought. He had completely forgotten that Richie slept like a bear in hibernation.

Eddie sat in silence for a few minutes but soon found himself staring at Richie and how much he’s changed  over the past few years. His hair, his height, his face. His attention was pulled away by a strong gust of wind. Wrapping the blanket tighter around himself he looked for more coverage. Hanging off the side of the car was a large black jacket. Eddie quickly grabbed it and put it onto his small frame, then put the blanket on over the jacket. Putting his hands into the pockets of the jacket only to pull out some things that were being kept inside.

A box of cigarettes and a lighter. Eddie wanted to throw the damn smokes across the room but was stopped by his own thoughts. ‘My Mom used to smoke, which caused a bunch of childhood health issues. Then she lied to me saying I was still sick into my early teens.’

“Mom.” Eddie said aloud as he held onto the box tightly causing it to start to crunch. He stopped to make a mental decision. Pulling out a cigarette from the box and putting it into his mouth. He brought the lighter up to the end of it ready to light but hesitated for a moment, then fully decided to light it.  Before he could bring the open flame toward the gasper the lighter was snathched from his hand and the cigarette taken from his mouth. Sitting there completely in shock for a moment before turning around fast enough to get whiplash.

So there Richie was laying against the back of the car window smoking the cigarette Eddie previously had in his mouth.

“I was gonna use that.” Eddie mumbled underneath his breath. Richie breathed out a large cloud of toxin.

“You hesitated Ace.” He took in another drag.

“Yeah and?”

“If you really wanted it,” Richie sat up too look him in the eyes. “...if you wanted to start a bad habit like this, you wouldn’t of hesitated.” He was so close to Eddie’s face that the smoke hit his face when Richie spoke to him. Eddie bit the inside of his cheek from how close they were. “Never hesitate if you really want something Eds.” He only nodded at Richie seeming to be in a trance. They stayed like this for awhile just staring at eachother, deep into the others eyes. The cigarette hanging out of Richie’s mouth.

“Now,” Richie pulled himself away first. “Do you wanna explain why you were knocking on Mike’s barn door in the middle of the night?”

What used to That, but you Aren’t me Baby

End Chapter 2

[5hfanfiction]

i have questions for u

Summary: Lauren hears the song for the first time.

“Why did you leave me here to burn? I’m way too young to be this hurt,”

-        I Have Questions, Camila Cabello

xxx

Nothing else beats a good sleep.

Especially when you’ve got a tight schedule like Lauren.

She enjoys what she does in the industry, with interviews and performances here and there, recording sessions and the like. It’s fulfilling for her to be able to go this far in her career, so it’s quite hard to envision what her life would be if she hadn’t taken a leap of faith when she had the guts to audition for X-Factor. No doubt the best decision she has ever made.

But being in this line of work isn’t as glamorous as it seems.

And by tight schedule, it really does mean tight (especially with the new album coming up) that there’s barely enough time for the girls to get a wink of sleep. Lauren swears she could go insane at any point, but she signed up for this so she’s going to take what she’s going to get. Of course the girls fought for their hard-earned breaks and day-offs, being worked to the bone is just plain abuse. Fortunately, their manager would always hear them out, calling the higher-ups in no time requesting for their much needed break.

“Charlie, you’re the best!”

“I love you!”

“You’re laundry’s on me, Charliebear.”

“Well, guess it’s time for bed.”

Despite it being only a quarter to eight in the evening, Lauren retreats back to her bedroom in the hotel suite that they are currently staying at. The moment her body hits the soft mattress, she’s dead to the world as she finally succumbs to sleep. She doesn’t make it for dinner since the other girls know that waking her up would be similar to disturbing a bear during its hibernation, a risk none of them are willing to take.

So the three mind their own business, do their own thing and leave Lauren in peace.

Or so she thought.

Lauren couldn’t remember whatever dream she’s having but she does remember hearing this loud music in her dream so she starts searching for it then—BAM! She’s back in the real world, her tired muscles aching as she stretches her arms and legs. She turns her head towards the window which has its curtains drawn, exposing New York’s city lights. With the night still young and the sun still down, Lauren should still be very much asleep.

The music—a Beyonce song, she finally figures—is getting louder this time and Lauren buries her face and grumbles nonsense into it. She tries doing the good ol’ pillow-against-your-ears trick but it doesn’t work, so goes for another option and haphazardly scrambles around her bed for her phone. She does spot it on the nearby bedside table, groaning when she has to scoot closer to it, her body not wanting to move at all.

Her phone indicates that it’s only half past eleven and she’s even more pissed that she has only gotten around three hours of sleep. She opens a few of her messages, learning that both Ally and Normani are out somewhere so that leaves her with none other than Dinah (though Beyonce on full blast is a dead giveaway). Because she’s exceptionally lazy today, she calls Dinah instead of charging into her bedroom.

It saves energy and Lauren is low on it.

Not surprisingly, it goes straight to voicemail, either due to her phone being dead or being set on airplane mode.

“Goddamnit,” Lauren curses, discarding her phone onto the bed. The Latina gets up anyway, extremely groggy and pissy, gathering all the strength she needs in giving a Dinah an earful (if she’s feeling extra pissed off today she might even give her a full sermon in Spanish). She pads outside her room and into the common area dressed in a loose sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. When she’s a couple of feet away from Dinah’s room, she notices that the song has ended. Before it could proceed to the next, Lauren decides to simply barge in.

Then she realizes it’s locked.

Lauren lets out a loud and infuriated sigh, raising one hand in knocking position.

“DJ! Could you keep it down I’m—“

“Why?”

Her words are cut off.

Lauren’s fist hangs in the air motionless as her ears register the sound. It’s as if time has frozen in place and she’s left hearing the rasp of the voice echo inside her head all over and over again. Memories of the girl flashes into her head, both the good ones and the bad. With so many issues that have gone between them, she isn’t sure she could handle hearing the rest of this.

Something tells her she shouldn’t be listening.

Not right now at least.

She makes a move to leave.

”Did you leave me here to burn? I’m way too young to be this hurt.”

The voice sends shivers down her spine, her feet halting in its tracks. Her head whips back to Dinah’s door. She swears the voice is speaking to her as if she is physically there, telling her to stay.

And listen.

Her will to flee is strong, but the effect that the voice has on her is stronger that she is drawn back to where she stood outside Dinah’s room. Lauren feels like a metal being pulled by a magnet.

She wants to break free.

“I feel doomed in hotel rooms, Staring straight up at the wall Counting wounds and I am trying to numb them all.”

She continues to stand there idly, her feet refusing to follow what her mind is telling her to do while the rest of her senses go numb. It’s annoying how she’s so unsure. One second, she decides to go on but the next she���s just itching to leave. Her decisions continue to jump back and forth like a tennis match, and she can’t seem to choose which one has triumphed over the other.

Something burns in her throat, a kind of screech that begs for the song to stop.

Just stop.

“Do you care, do you care? Why don’t you care? I gave you all of me My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears Why don’t you care, why don’t you care? I was there, I was there, when no one would Now you’re gone and I’m here.”

She’s locked in a dreamlike state, similar to a sleep paralysis wherein she’s conscious that she’s awake yet she can’t bring herself to budge. It’s an internal battle that she’s struggling to fight, because her mind knows that maybe it’s time to face the music. The other part of her, however, stubborn and all, refuses to hear any of it.

But why is it so hard to walk away?

“I have questions for you Number one, tell me who you think you are You got some nerve trying to tear my faith apart (I have questions for you) Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool? I should have never ever ever trusted you (I have questions) Number three, why weren’t you, who you swore that you would be? I have questions, I got questions haunting me.”

While the chorus continues to play on, Lauren’s shoulders slump. She has finally given in to temptation, or more like she has accepted the fact that she has to listen to this sooner or later. But maybe it is too soon because everything feels heavy, her head, her chest, her eyes and there is nothing she could do about them. She’s frustrated over a song that’s getting to her so badly. Her emotions are getting messed up.

She is getting messed up.

“My, my name was safest in your mouth And why’d you have to go and spit it out? Oh, your voice, it was the most familiar sound But it sounds so dangerous to me now.”

“Camz…”

Lauren’s eyes widen as her name slips out from her and her hands immediately rush to cover her mouth. She hasn’t said her name in a while, it was so foreign yet so familiar at the same time. It’s an indescribable sensation to something she isn’t expecting. The corners of her eyes are dampening as she imagines what she would have felt when writing the verse.

So raw.

So vulnerable.

The words are filled with so much pain that it comes in like a series of punches into her stomach, though the one beating her up has already been stabbed multiple times in the chest. The muscles in her legs loosen and she drops to the carpeted floor, tears falling one by one with no indication of stopping, chest aching with every drop.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry, she says in her head.

But what is she sorry for?

Her sobs are silent throughout the second chorus, her hands still cupping over her lips. She releases all the tears, all the emotion she unknowingly had been holding in for God knows how long.

She wonders how crazy she must look if Ally and Normani catch her in this state.

“Do you care, do you care? Why don’t you care? I gave you all of me My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears Why don’t you care, why don’t you care? I was there, I was there, when no one was Now you’re gone and I’m here.”

She somehow regains composure and wipes away her tears with her sleeves. With a huff, she manages to stand up, the muscles in her legs recovering their strength. Her hand runs through her wild raven hair as she listens intently to the conclusion of the song, internally pleading to just get it over with. What she did not expect though, is to feel utterly and hopelessly broken by the next few lines.

“How do I fix it? Can we talk? Can we communicate? Can we talk? Do I wanna fix it?”

A huge lump forms at the base of her throat.

“I’m afraid of you.”

Fresh new tears gather at the sides of her eyes.

“Is it my fault?”

Lauren wants to scream.

“Do you miss me?”

She finally loses it and the tears come pouring out once more.

“I have questions.”

xxx

Guilty.

Lauren is guilty.

Guilt. That’s what she has been feeling all along the moment she hears the song. Somewhere, deep in her heart tells her that she has something to do with it. It has taken her around twenty minutes to draw out the conclusion while squatting outside Dinah’s room, back leaning against the door. Her face is still puffy with a tinge of pink on her nose and cheeks from all the crying, and her eyes a bloodshot red.

She should head back to her room before anyone sees her like this but she’s too tired to do anything.

Too emotionally exhausted to be exact.

She hasn’t counted the number of songs that has played since, but she knows that she has been there for some time. The music is still as loud as ever (Dinah should probably be deaf by now), yet it simply passes from one ear to the other. If her mind has been clouded with so many emotions minutes ago, now she is feeling blank.

Empty.

Nada.

It’s so empty that she hasn’t even noticed the music stopping.

“Woah—hey! Lauren?”

Lauren nearly falls on her back when Dinah suddenly opens the door, the younger girl jolting in surprise. The Latina quickly gets up on her feet and turns to her bandmate who watches her with confusion.

“Have you been crying?” Dinah places a comforting hand on Lauren’s arm, “You look horrible.”

“Oh, gee thanks,” Lauren rolls her eyes at Dinah’s honest comment, “And no I haven’t been crying, I just yawned before you opened.” She crosses her arms rather defensively, sporting her tough as nails persona.

“Sure, Jauregui. Sure,” the Polynesian pats her on the arm with a flat smile and pretends to take the bait. Instead of dwelling on the subject, Dinah knows when she shouldn’t cross the line so she changes the topic, “Why were you sitting outside my room, by the way?”

Lauren hasn’t anticipated for her to ask, her body twitching just the slightest bit upon hearing the question. She hopes Dinah hasn’t picked up anything on her body language because she really can’t deal with an interrogation or some kind of intervention right now.

“Your music was too loud,” she attempts to give her best excuse though she facepalmed herself internally at her lame try.

“Sooo you just had to sit outsi—wait a sec, I had my headphones on,” Dinah jabs her thumb over her shoulder to the direction of her bed where a MacBook Air sat with a pair of headphones above it. “How could you possible hear that?”

 “Uh…I think you had your speakers on too?” Lauren points at a bluetooth speaker on top of one of the bedside tables, “I tried yelling at you about it.” Well, tried. Technically, she hasn’t finished her nagging since it had been cut off but Dinah doesn’t have to know about that.

“Crap! Seriously? Again?” Dinah runs over to where the speaker lays and shuts it off, while Lauren enters the room with a low and tired laugh. The younger girl sits on the edge of her bed and pouts her lips apologetically, looking up at her, “Sorry about that Lolo. My iPad’s connected to the speaker and Spotify was open too so when I was playing songs on my MacBook I guess they both played…”

“That explains it,” Lauren says with humor in her voice. She was about to say something else but Dinah unexpectedly jumps up from her bed, startling the Latina a little who also jumps in place.

“Did you…” Dinah seems to hesitate, somehow waiting for Lauren to complete the question for her. She rephrases her question in her head multiple times, knowing how Lauren absolutely hated to be treated as if she’s some fragile child. There have been some occasions in the past wherein the girls have been reluctant on bringing up certain…issues but Lauren has not-so-calmly clarified that she can handle it.

Judging the state she has found her when she opened the door, Dinah guesses she couldn’t exactly handle it. This is why she can’t help herself but be cautious when it comes to her.

“Did I what..?” Lauren tilts her head like a confused puppy, oblivious to where this is heading.

Dinah clears her throat, “Did you hear it?”

Lauren stiffens. She blinks for a good few seconds and answers, “Yeah.”

“I was really curious so…”

“I sorta was too. She seems to be doing great.”

The mood is light and Dinah hasn’t expected for it to be this easy to talk about it. In fact, she had been holding her breath right before Lauren gave her her answer. It would have been easier if Mani or Ally were at her side. Thankfully, it didn’t end up going downhill.

“Yeah, she’s well,” Dinah nods in confirmation. Maybe talking about her will help. “We spoke a few days ago. She’s in New York for—“

“Oh, tha-that’s great! Like super good.”

Shit. Dinah immediately regrets mentioning that they are currently in the same city. She would take it back if she could, but the damage is already done and the mood shifts uncomfortably, causing Dinah to reach out for her bandmate who only retreats backwards.

“Lauren…”

“I’m gonna try and head back to bed.”

“Um, okay. I’m sorry if I—“

“It’s fine,” Lauren waves it off, feigning nonchalance, “I’m fine. I’ll just…go.” Dinah watches her intently but Lauren’s eyes look anywhere but the Polynesian’s. The older girl musters one last not-so-assuring smile then she shuffles awkwardly out. The door closes behind her as she leaves.

Dinah curses at herself.

xxx

Camila isn’t easy to forget.

Out of all the people, Lauren took the news the hardest. Their relationship may have changed in the months leading to her departure, but it didn’t make things any easier. Although there have been various situations that have hinted regarding Camila being the first one to go, the reality of it has been too incomprehensible to believe.

Lauren wishes she should have noticed the little things, like the way Camila would request for a break by camping in an unoccupied room to be by herself or how she would seem to be on the brink of tears during one of the rehearsals. Would a simple are you okay make a difference? She wonders. But that’s all she could do, wonder, because they all have moved on and the girls respect her decision, despite not being allowed to be seen in public together.

Management sucks.

“Hey, sorry to keep you waiting.”

Lauren is pulled out from her thoughts when Camila arrives in a pair of gray leggings and a Vehements hoodie, her attempt at a disguise which Lauren has to keep herself from laughing. The outfit isn’t exactly what you would call discreet, but the ponytail, glasses and Nike combo didn’t really seem very Camila so she figures she must have really planned this one out.

“I know you’re judging me,” Camila narrows her eyes, taking a seat across from her. The coffee shop they’re in is small but private, just what they both need so they wouldn’t have to worry about paparazzi tailing them. Luckily, only four other customers are enjoying their early morning coffee, coming from a generation that most likely did not recognize any of them. It’s been nearly a year since they have both been here, having discovered this hole in the wall a few years ago. “It’s the best that I can do and you seem pretty cosy yourself.”

The green-eyed girl glances at her FSU shirt and a pair of shorts and Doc Martens. She opts to be as casual as she could in order to avoid any unwanted attention, bringing with her a FSU ball cap as well. “I’m going for the whole college girl look.”

“Very patriotic,” Camila comments with a grin, taking in her shirt and cap. “All you need is your student loans and a packet of ramen noodles then you’re good to go.”

Lauren laughs heartily and shakes her head. What has she been so nervous about when things are going so well? It’s true that it might have been some time since the two have been alone, casually chatting and whatnot, but there’s something about their encounter that’s making her feel at ease. Maybe it’s the fact that Camila looks absolutely happy, smiling at the other end of the table with her elbows propped and chin resting on her intertwined fingers.

The sight has made Lauren realize that her leaving really is for the best.

Then she remembers why she’s called her here.

“Camila…” she starts, fumbling with her words in her head. Her fingers play with the condensation dripping from her iced drink, tracing random circular patterns on the cup. She shuts her eyelids for a second, then opens them as she exhales deeply. “Is there…is there something you’d like to tell me?” A sense of dread clouds her mind.

Camila knits her brows together, her hands dropping gently onto the cold metal table.

“Like…is there something you’d like to ask me?”

Camila’s eyes shift around behind her thinly-rimmed glasses, processing Lauren’s question. The vagueness of it didn’t give her any clue on what Lauren is trying to let on so she searches for some kind of clue in her surroundings, looking at Lauren every few seconds. But her former bandmate refuses to add more details, leaving Camila to scavenge around her memory for something she may have completely forgotten months ago.

Then it hit her.

“Oh, Lauren…”

Lauren’s head snaps up to meet her beautiful face. No bags, no tiny creases on her forehead, no indication of stress and upcoming anxiety attack. She hasn’t seen her be this radiant in a while, probably her days in Fifth Harmony have taken it away from her. But now she has regained her usual glow, one that shined so bright she could outshine the sun.

“W-what?” Lauren asks dumbly. Dealing with Camila is thrice as complex as dealing with herself. Sometimes she thinks she knows what’s going through her head, other times she is left to crack her cryptic expressions that could have been masking her real emotions. Now, however, the smile that barely reaches her cheeks and the warm brown eyes that have melted her heart since day one are making zero sense to her.

Is she smiling because she’d rather not talk about it?

Was it a mistake bringing it up?

“I wrote that like, two years ago,” Camila says, half-embarrassed as if someone stumbled upon her middle school diary.

“Yeah but I just think—hold on a sec,” Lauren stuffs her hand in her shorts’ pocket as her iPhone vibrates indicating an incoming call. Great timing Charlie.

“Go ahead,” Camila gestures for her to take it.

The call lasts for about a minute or two with Lauren muttering a series of “Yeah”, “Uhuh” and “Okay” then ending it with “I’ll be there in thirty minutes,” before sending Camila a sad smile, disappointed that their conversation and little reunion has been cut short.

 “Is everything okay?”

“Just have to meet up with one of the producers. I’m really sorry, Camila…” Lauren sighs. She retrieves a crisp five-dollar bill from her wallet and sets it onto the table. “Calling you then leaving so quickly.” Should I really leave?

“No biggie,” Camila dismisses it with a wave of her hand, flashing her freshly manicured nails, “I’m glad to see you though.”

“Me too.”

But Lauren doesn’t make a move to get up from her seat, her hands still gripping the metal armrests as if she is about to. Her feet, on the other hand, are stuck to the floor like it’s been superglued to the tiles. And her eyes, this time, are locked onto Camila’s and they just stare at each other in silence with Lauren’s heart beating a million miles per second.

 “Hey, you should really get going, Charlie wouldn’t want you to be late.”

Lauren nods weakly, carefully standing up. She would be lying if she would say that she would be satisfied going back to the hotel like this. The only way for her to be able to sleep tonight is to get things over with so she can get rid of the guilt that makes her stomach sink every chance it gets when she thinks about it.

Because Lauren had once been so significant in that aspect in Camila’s life that she has poured her heart and soul into a song. A song that she may have the answers to the questions it asks. The questions that have been haunting the poor girl for far too long.

As if reading her mind, Camila assures her “I promise you, you have nothing to be worried about.”

“Wait…what do you—“

“I’m sure you’re wondering… “

Camila is the girl whose heart she has broken, the lively spirit she may have destroyed.

Lauren is the girl whose heart has also been broken, whose heart was also taken away when she left.

But no matter the pain or damage she has caused, Lauren is just the girl whose heart Camila has also broken.

Not the person from her song.

“The song’s not about you, Lauren.”

xxx

The first time I listened to the song, I was on the brink of tears. And I couldn’t help but write this one. While dozens of people think that the song may be about Lauren, I’d also like to consider the possibility that it’s not.

I do hope you’ve enjoyed this as I have other songfics in mind.

have a great day and be nice to each other

-keeks