#i wanna chew this man like a gummy bear | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

too-kinky-to-live · 3 years ago

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taste

happy vo.re day everyone!!! here’s my cringe fic to commemorate :-)

(no ao3 link this time im too self conscious)

this idea came about while talking to the lovely @chili-kinks and they made this in conjunction with my fic so please check them out!!

anyway this fic features pre.game oum.asai and soft, same size vo.re, you have been warned. also bad words

“IIIIT’S PUNISHMENT TIME!!!”

The screen cut to a large Monokuma towering over the latest blackened, a small blonde girl with a long pigtail. The demonic bear picked up the girl and began to lick all over as she struggled in his grasp. Slowly lifting her above his head, Monokuma bent his head back and opened the gates of hell: his half-fanged mouth, with drool beginning to form around it. The girl was screaming and flailing about as she was lowered further down to her demise. Monokuma’s fist released her without effort, the blackened dropping right into his gaping maw. It slammed shut with a metal clang, and the bear gave a loud, deafening gulp.

Saihara’s eyes were glued to the T.V., in a more intense manner than usual. What a cruel way to go, even for Danganronpa standards. He had many ideas about his own execution someday, but this… this was definitely one to consider. He could only imagine how she felt wriggling around in his large belly, put to an eternal sleep with a comforting blanket of warmth. His shaky hands moved to text his boyfriend Ouma, who sadly couldn’t make it to their weekly Danganronpa viewing because of heaps of school projects. He knew Ouma was more into the mystery aspect of the show than the gruesome killings, but he simply couldn’t resist.

Saihara: omgomgomg did you see the latest episode???

Ouma: I did. I had it on in the background so I could work.

Saihara: what did you think of the execution? :D

Ouma: It was… something. Unexpected, definitely.

It was difficult for the taller boy to contain his fantasizing, to say the least.

Saihara: i love the way she was screaming for dear life,,, it was soooo satisfying in the end! god i wish i were monokuma… tasting a victim would be so worth ittt

Ouma: Uh, Saihara?

Saihara: yea?

Ouma: I think you should go to bed. You have school tomorrow. And… you’re scaring me a little.

Saihara: sorry kichi… but fiiiine ill see you tomorrow.

The last thing he wanted was to make Ouma uncomfortable. And he was a man of his word, he’d take his advice and get to bed. However, there was one thing he wanted to try first. Rummaging around in his snack drawer, he found a small bag of Monokuma-themed gummy bears. He couldn’t stop thinking about having something whole run down his throat… and what better way to do it than try on a small candy? He frantically opened the bag and plucked out a red gummy. Dangling it above his drooling maw, he licked his lips.

“My first victim… down the hatch!”

He shoved the gummy in his mouth and had to stop himself from chewing. Positioning it for swallowing, he let it slide down his throat with a hard gulp. Saihara traced a hand over his chest to feel it going down to his stomach, shivering slightly. What an amazing feeling… he couldn’t chew these ever again! He happily shoved more in his mouth and gulped them down, pretending they were meek little prey against his predatory might.

Saihara tossed the bag aside and rubbed his belly blissfully. One day, maybe he could have a person inside him. Despite his affinity for Danganronpa, he could never bring himself to kill someone. He was going to rely on Team Danganronpa’s directors to change that for him. No, he merely wanted someone in his belly for a while, just to feel what it’s like.

Surely a normal human like him couldn’t achieve that, right?

Only one way to find out.

Ouma looked on nervously as Saihara effortlessly swallowed half a sandwich whole. His previous victims included sushi, apple slices, candy, cookies, and brownies. It was almost inhuman how the taller boy could open his mouth to fit a seemingly endless array of food.

"Saihara, you're gonna make yourself sick."

Saihara simply chuckled. "I'll be fine, 'Kichi."

The smaller boy knew Saihara had a somewhat unhealthy obsession with Danganronpa, but he never would have imagined it would affect him this much. Despite how unnatural it was, Ouma couldn't help his morbid curiosity. He couldn't deny how interesting the latest execution was (no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise), and a small part of him absolutely loved watching Saihara scarf down food and seeing it travel down his throat.

Nope, he definitely didn't enjoy this.

Every so often, the taller boy would lift his food above him and slowly ease it into his mouth, as if to simulate eating a person. Ouma was immensely thankful the other patrons of the cafe were ignoring them. Maybe this sudden fascination would fade once the next Danganronpa episode came out; but with Saihara, anything was possible.

Saihara: hey could you come over today? i wanna try something.

Two weeks later, Ouma received a rather unceremonious text from Saihara one night.

Ouma: Sure. What is it you want to try?

Saihara: i don't think i can say over text

Ouma furrowed his brow, his mind racing to the absolute worst possible scenarios. Did something happen between him and his uncle again?

Ouma: ...why not?

Saihara: i just can't i'm sorry

Saihara: pls come over asap

Ouma: Alright.

It was unsettling how vague his friend was being, and that made him all the more worried. He hurriedly packed his things and ran to Saihara's house.

The two sat across from each other on the floor in Saihara’s room, neither saying a word. The taller boy had his eyes cast down, deep in thought with Ouma left to wonder just what the hell happened to him. The air was unnerving, and Ouma couldn’t take it anymore.

“Are you okay, Saihara?”

The boy in question took a second to look up at him, meeting his eyes with an emotionless face Ouma had not seen in him before.

“Do you remember the episode where the girl got eaten alive?”

Oh.

“I… I want to try it out. I’ve been practicing so I could make it happen.”

Oh.

Saihara couldn’t possibly think this would work, right? Humans aren’t capable of eating each other without… killing the other. Ouma shuddered.

“Saihara,” he spoke slowly. “Do you really think you can do this? I mean, Danganronpa is just fiction after all… and one of us wouldn’t s-survive,” his voice began to quiver.

The taller boy sat up slightly and looked at Ouma with soft eyes. “I won’t let that happen. I’ve been looking stuff up. I’ve been training myself. And… you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Part of Ouma didn’t want to. That part was constantly pushing the fact that this could end up very bad. However, another part slowly began to rise up - the feeling of being the closest he can to the one he has a crush on. And of course, there was that naughty side of him thrilled at the idea.

“...I’ll do it.”

Saihara’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”

“I trust you. And, well, I’m kinda curious too.”

Hearing Ouma have mutual feelings to this weird activity made Saihara’s heart race. The smaller boy began to remove his clothing, too embarrassed to make eye contact with his crush. Saihara finally noticed how bony Ouma was. He’d make sure to get him a proper meal later. Ouma removed everything but his boxers, feeling somewhat self-conscious and looking away with a blush.

“Could you uh, close your eyes while I do this? I don’t think I could make eye contact with you.”

“S-Sure.”

Ouma complied and Saihara inched his way towards him, shaking slightly. Ouma trusted him. He wasn’t about to let that be for nothing. Raising himself above Ouma’s head, Saihara opened his maw until it became unhinged. He gently bit down on the smaller boy’s head of hair. The flavor was a sweet grape with a bit of lavender, which made Saihara drool slightly. He couldn’t help but smile in bliss as he took more of the boy in. He felt Ouma flinch a bit, so he brought his hands to Ouma’s arms and rubbed for reassurance. The smaller boy calmed down and Saihara reached his shoulders.

Perhaps it was Ouma’s smaller stature, but this was going a lot easier than Saihara had anticipated. He wanted to lick at him to get more of his sweet flavor, but he didn’t want to gross him out. He also wished he could ask how Ouma was holding up, but, well… he was a bit preoccupied. As Saihara reached the smaller boy’s torso, he realized the boy had entered his stomach. He was already feeling full, but there was no going back now. He took a hand off of Ouma to rub his belly, his hand gliding over the dent created in it. Reaching Ouma’s boxers wasn’t nearly as thrilling of a milestone, since his taste was interrupted by bland fabric.

He picked up the pace and shoved the covered part of Ouma’s body down his gullet. He mentally apologized for being so rough. Resuming the wonderful taste of Ouma, he slid down his spindly legs. All that remained was below the knees, and those were consumed just as quickly. Saihara could feel Ouma squirming a bit to get comfortable, and that’s when the true euphoria started.

It felt fucking amazing.

It was everything he hoped it would be. He leaned back and let an arm support him from behind, using the other to support the massive weight added to him. His stomach stretched past his knees with many bumps protruding from it. Red-faced, Saihara panted heavily with his tongue lavishly hanging out. God, this was so worth it. He rubbed around to feel for Ouma, who was surprisingly calm during the whole ordeal.

He opened his mouth to ask Ouma how he was doing, but a massive belch burst from his lips instead. The smaller boy, meanwhile, was fumbling around trying to make out his surroundings in the dark. His body was drenched in saliva; but strangely, no stomach acid was present. The world quaked around him as Saihara let out a loud burp, and Ouma found it hard to be grossed out given his current circumstances.

“Are you *urp* okay, ‘Kichi?”

Saihara’s hand found Ouma’s head between the fleshy wall separating them, and Ouma couldn’t help but lean into the touch. He never saw himself in the stomach of his crush, yet here he was.

“I’m okay. It feels… really nice,” he blushed, accentuated with a small rub to the stomach walls. He was amazed at how elastic Saihara’s stomach was, he hoped he wasn’t putting too much strain on it.

“Haah… I’m great, ‘Kichi! The best I’ve ever felt, actually! You tasted incredible,” he grinned, licking his lips.

Suddenly, the buttons on his dress shirt holding on for dear life relented and popped right off, exposing his large belly. That was… pretty hot, Saihara realized. Ouma started to rub more of the walls surrounding him, causing Saihara to moan rather loudly. He was a complete mess around his crush, but it was just too difficult to contain his bliss.

“Saihara, why aren’t there any stomach acids yet?”

The taller boy gave his belly a gentle pat. “I found recipes online for drinks that *hic* could subdue stomach acids for a bit. It looks *hic* like they worked pretty *hic* well, huh?”

Ouma smiled and let himself lean back into the warm stomach walls.

“You’ll let me out when I’m ready, right?” he asked tiredly.

“Of course,” Saihara whispered, rubbing Ouma’s head.

“Thank you, Saihara.”

#hope yall enjoy #pora's fix

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what-is-your-plan-today · 4 years ago

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Stark Spangled Kinks

The Devil Wears Nada

Summary: Steve’s fed up of getting cock blocked during what was supposed to be bit of alone time and would make a deal with the Devil herself to get some alone time with his wife… Warning: SMUT SMUT SMUT- (NSFW, 18+) Like seriously, if you’re under 18 get off my blog.

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark.

A/N: This is possibly the filthiest thing I’ve ever written...and I’m not even sorry. It follows on directly from Bumps In The Night which was written by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork as part of Stark Spangled Banner’s Birthday Party. Give it a read, its wonderful!

SSK Masterlist // WIYPT Masterlist

Katie and Steve headed back inside, Katie diverting into the lounge to go and retrieve the candy off the kids before they ate too much of it in one sitting. Steve had to snort at the various cries of protests that rang round the lounge and his wife’s stern voice telling the three children in there that she didn’t care if it was Saturday, they weren’t consuming enough E-numbers to fuel an army before bed. He made his way into the kitchen and was completely unsurprised to find Bucky already had his head buried in the fridge.

“Make yourself at home.” He deadpanned and Bucky looked at him, thrusting a beer in his direction. “Gee thanks.” Steve’s dry sarcasm still present as he looked at his friend who was offering him his own fucking beer. Bucky grinned and shrugged as he passed one to Sam as well as he strode into the room, the three men popping the tops. Steve took a long pull from his as he eyed Bucky “Why are you here?”

“Rude much?” Bucky asked, his eyes still checking out the contents of the refrigerator. “We were concerned uncles…you weren’t with the kids.” “They were with Emmy and Queens” Steve arched an eyebrow “Perfectly safe.”

“They showed up on Tin Man’s doorstep.” Sam grinned “We were halfway through studying a couple of files and they basically swamped us and said it was their last stop of the night. Bucky thought it would be fun to come back with them.”

“To bug the crap out of me or…”

“I wanted candy.” Buck shrugged.

“Then you should have gone Trick Or Treating.” Steve replied “And let’s face it, with a face like that, who needs a mask?”

“Ouch, Stevie…” Bucky looked at him as Sam chuckled in the background, before he turned his attention back to the fridge “Oooh, your Missus made a cheeseboard.”

“What are you a fuckin’ mouse?” Sam asked as Bucky pulled out the platter, setting it on the side.

“Just ‘cause I appreciate the good things in life, Seagull and you can’t.” Bucky shrugged, unwrapping the film from the cheese. “You know, Steve was just like this growing up.”

“Yeah, well, now I have better taste and I’m also big enough to kick your ass so stop eating my food and go home before I throw you out.”

“What’s got into you?” Bucky looked at him.

“You’re disrupting my plans.” Steve said simply.

“What pl-ooooooh!” Buck’s question morphed into a noise of acknowledgment as he looked at his friend “Then you should have taken advantage of the empty house earlier.”

“School boy error, Cap.” Sam smirked and Steve let out a growl of frustration.

“Well our various attempts to were thwarted one way or another, and now you two punks are ruining it again.” Steve glared at them “Put the cheese back and piss off.”

Bucky smirked. “Imma tell Katie you’re being nasty to me.”

Steve narrowed his eyes knowing full well the soft spot his girl had for Bucky and Sam. If she got so much as a sniff he was being a bit of a shit to either of them he’d be in for it. “You wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t what?”

At the sound of his wife’s voice Steve jumped and turned to see her clutching the huge bowl that had previously contained their candy by the door and now sported the combined content of their kids’ bags, Harry toddling behind her, his eyes fixed on the prize.

“Oh this is gonna be good.” Sam smirked, leaning off to the side unwrapping a Reeses which he pulled out of his pocket, slowly chewing as if watching a movie.

“Hey Doll Face” Bucky grinned at her “Steve won’t let me eat the cheese.”

“Ignore him, you help yourself Buck.” She waved to it as she passed Steve the bowl of candy “Stop being so moody, stick that up high somewhere.”

“You know that won’t stop Jamie, Rori or him don’t you?” Steve looked at her as she picked Harry up who watched shrewdly as his dad placed the bowl on the top shelf of one of the cupboards “All 3 of them had scaled the refrigerator by the time they were 2.”

“No but it might delay them enough for us to catch them.” She shrugged, her eyes moving to Bucky who was eating a block of cheddar like it was an apple “Buck, do you want some crackers or…”

Bucky nodded but Steve cut him off. “No he doesn’t.”

“Yes I do.” Bucky smirked as Katie looked at Steve, arching an eyebrow at his unusually frosty nature towards his friends. She set Harry down on the counter by Bucky who grinned at the toddler, offering him his hand in a hi-five. Harry grinned and slapped his Uncles palm before he looked at the cheese.

“Absolutely not pal.” Steve said to him and Harry looked up.

“Dinosaurs don’t eat cheese.” Bucky shook his head at Harry who stared at him and blinked before he shrugged.

“But I hungry.”

“You can’t possibly be.” Katie looked at her son

“I am Momma.”

“Now look what you’ve done.” Steve glared at Bucky.

“Me?” Bucky scoffed, his mouth full “What did I do?”

“Set him off, look, why don’t you go and eat Jen’s cheese?” Steve asked and at that there was a pause before Sam, Katie and Bucky all burst out laughing. Steve groaned “Ok, that came out wrong.”

Sam snorted “that’s what she said.”

Katie laughed harder and Bucky grinned, swallowing his mouthful as Katie headed into the pantry. “Innuendo aside, I can’t. She’s got something going on at the coffee shop. Bunch of teenagers doing Halloween activities or something, I don’t know. She won’t be free until later.” He turned to Katie as she walked back in, handing him the box of crackers and he thanked her “So I thought I’d come see my best friends for a beer seeing as it’s not even half 8 on a Saturday yet.”

Katie smiled at him “You two are always welcome here, you know that. Isn’t that right Steve.”

Steve fixed a smile on his face and glared at Bucky who was positively beaming at the fact he knew he was being a cock-block. “Course it is honey, course.”

“Right my little Jurassic baby…” Katie picked Harry up and he giggled, the hood of his dinosaur costume falling over his eyes. “Bath time.

“No bath Momma” he shook his head furiously, looking up at her as she pushed the clothing back off his head “I have one tomorrow.”

Katie looked at him, “Your face is filthy.”

“Wash my face then.” He looked at her and Katie raised her eyebrows and looked at Steve who chuckled.

“Wanna help me out here daddy?” Katie asked and Steve looked at his son.

“Ok, how about momma washes your face tonight but you’re having a bath first thing in the morning.” Steve looked at Harry as his son considered it for a second. It was late after all. Skipping bath night one evening wouldn’t kill him.

“Deal” Harry nodded, holding his hand out. Steve shook it as Bucky and Sam both gave snorts.

“You need a hand?” Steve asked.

“No, I got it.” Katie shook her head “I’ll get him sorted. You can send Rori and Jamie up in 15 though.”

“Sure.” Steve nodded.

“Say goodnight Harry.” Katie said, turning round so Harry could see Sam and Bucky.

“Goodnight Harry” he grinned, before he cackled at his usual joke. The tot had no idea why it was funny, but when he had first said it, it had cracked both Katie and Steve up so now he seemed to say it every night. Bucky and Sam obligingly laughed as Steve dropped kiss to his son’s head, before pecking Katie’s cheek as she carried him out of the kitchen.

**** Half an hour later, after Rori had done one final parade around the kitchen in her princess cat outfit, beaming when Bucky had declared her the “prettiest kitty cat in all the world” and Steve had once more told her “no, you can’t have a real cat”, all 3 kids were clean and in their rooms. Harry and Rori were both tucked up in bed, lights off, whilst Jamie was watching TV with a warning from Steve that he had 30 minutes before it was time to turn it off. Steve knew Jamie would listen, it was part of the deal that he got to have a little time like that in his room as he was the eldest one now. Jamie took it seriously, knowing full well that abusing said privilege would mean it was revoked just as it had been a few weeks months when he’d been giving Steve some serious back chat and cheek. Steve had sent him to his room and Jamie had simply shrugged responding sarcastically “Fine, I’ll go watch my TV, what a huge punishment.” Steve had seen red and headed straight into the garage before coming back with a pair of pliers. He’d walked straight into Jamie’s room, cut the plug off the TV leaving his son staring at him, open mouthed as he breezed out of the room with a simple “watch it now, smart ass…”

The 4 adults were all sat in the lounge, sprawled across the various sofas with a drink each as the fire roared giving the large living room a cosy, homely feel. Stark was stretched out on the rug in front of the fire, snoring slightly, and the stereo was on playing a little background music whilst the rain pattered against the large ceiling to floor windows. Steve adored this time of year for precisely this reason. Katie snuggled under his arm, her back resting against him as she lay stretched out down the cushions, his arm looped around her crossing her chest. The hand that wasn’t holding her wine was gently rubbing over his forearm, her nails softly skating across the skin. Steve dropped a kiss to her head as they both listened to Sam who was recalling how Bucky had ended up with a load of candy stuck on the hand of his metal arm without realising, which he had then stuck in his hair when he’d run his hand through it.

“He cried like a bitch when I was pulling the gummy bears out.” Sam grinned and Steve tipped his head back, a huge laugh rumbling through his chest as Bucky glared at him.

“Punk.” He looked at Steve who simply smirked and took a drink from his bottle

“You know, I gotta say that these kids take it to the next level nowadays.” Sam swallowed a mouthful of beer. “I mean, some of those costumes are awesome. We saw a really cool Iron Man who had the reactor in his chest all lit up.”

Katie smiled “Yeah, Tony does seem to be a popular choice.”

“We got a Captain America.” Steve offered, not one to be out-done and Katie smirked to herself, “And by that I mean when it was me, or I was it, whatever. He may or may not have gotten extra candy.”

Sam and Bucky chuckled and Katie sipped her wine before she tilted her head back and looked up at Steve.

"At least we got no clowns this year..." Katie smirked and at the mere thought Steve shuddered and Bucky let out a huge snort.

"What...you're scared of clowns?" Sam looked at Steve but before he could answer Bucky jumped in.

"He ain’t just scared man, he's petrified. When we were about 8 and my folks took us to Coney, this guy dressed as a clown tried to give Steve a balloon and he ran away, but the best thing was…” Bucky leaned forward, his words coming between his howls of laughter “this clown kept doing it up until Steve was about 18 because he was so small and looked like a 10 year old.”

“Fuck you.” Steve narrowed his eyes at Bucky as he and Sam fell about laughing. Katie kissed his arm and sat up, pointing at Bucky.

“Stop making fun of him…he was cute when he was a smol bean.”

“Thanks sweetheart.” Steve grinned, pressing a kiss to her head.

“Coulrophobia” Sam nodded sagely, “Quite common actually.”

“I’m not surprised.” Steve shook his head “They’re horrible. I mean, who on earth ever thought they were suitable as entertainment?”

"I dunno, it was kind of entertaining when Jamie dressed up as one.” Katie smiled and Steve physically shivered at the mere memory of that particular Halloween.

“Wait, what?” Bucky asked, looking at Katie and Steve groaned as he steeled himself once more to be the brunt of a joke.

“You seen IT?” Katie asked, “As in the newest one?”

Bucky nodded, grinning “A particular favourite of mine and Jen’s….although last time we watched it we kinda got distracted.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and Katie snorted.

“Don’t wanna know,” she shook her head as Sam Hi-fived Bucky “but anyway, we had a Halloween party about 9 years ago at Tony’s. Emmy asked if she could be in charge of hers and Jamie’s outfits so we said yes. Little did we knows she’d had a little help from my dearest brother and just as we were about to set off…” she snorted and started to laugh “they come down the stairs and Jamie’s dressed in the BEST Pennywise outfit I’ve ever seen.”

Bucky’s face split into a huge grin as Katie continued to laugh, shaking her head. “So he’s toddling towards Steve and his face…” she stopped talking, as her laughter was now uncontrollable and she shook her head and Steve sighed.

“It’s not funny.”

“It is.” She stuttered, wiping her eyes. She took a deep breath “You stood there stock still, this look of utter horror on your face and I knew you were fighting the urge to turn and run…”

At that Bucky and Sam both burst out into laughter and Steve shook his head. “He was so upset when I wouldn’t pick him up.”

“You stopped the car at the top of the street because you couldn’t drive as you kept seeing him in the mirror…” Katie howled, tipping her head back in absolute, unadulterated laughter and Steve shook his head.

“You heard Sam, it’s a phobia…” he looked at her “I can’t help it, any more than you can about spiders.”

“Horrible eight legged bastards.” She shuddered as her laughter died down and she glanced up at him winking, as her voice dropped. “But you know the way to my heart…”

“Kiss you often, fuck you well, feed you snacks and kill the spiders.” he intoned, grinning as she chuckled “I know Doll, I know.”

**** Despite his best laid plans going to shit, Steve had to admit it was a nice evening as all 4 of them chatted and laughed but by the time Bucky and Sam left some 2 hours later, Katie had already gone up to bed about 15 minutes prior saying she was tired which meant Steve was now very doubtful he’d be fucking her well at all. Cursing Trick Or Treaters, counter surfing dogs, hungry babies and cheese eating, beer drinking friends he cleared the empty bottles off the coffee table and dumped them in the recycling before he let Stark out into the back yard so he could do his business. Steve stood watching him, the cold October air biting at his skin a little as he glanced up at the now clear sky, the rain having stopped roughly half an hour or so ago. He couldn’t believe it was November tomorrow. Another year almost done with. They were flying by, far too quickly for his liking. This year had marked 7 years since they’d reversed the snap and it still seemed like only yesterday since he’d walked away from it all and passed the shield to Sam, settling down into the domestic life he’d never dreamed in a million years he’d get. He was jerked from his thoughts when Stark walked back up to him, nudging his hand with his cold, wet nose and he smiled, petting the dog’s head as he walked past him into the little laundry room and sat obediently waiting for his paws to be dried. Steve shut the door, locking it and then towelled the dog down before the tan and white mutt shot off through the kitchen and into the hall. Steve heard his collar jangling as he bounded up the stairs to Jamie’s room whilst he himself made his way through to the lounge. The fire was still going, but he knew it would die down over night and he was just moving the grate to the front of it to avoid any embers spilling onto the floor when his ears picked up footsteps on the stairs. He instantly knew they were Katie’s and found himself smirking a little. Maybe he was gonna get a little frisky after all. And then he heard her walking across the hall and frowned, because it sounded like she was in heels.

“Honey?” he called, standing up straight and turning to see his wife leaning against the door frame, one arm extended above her head, the other hand falling to her hips as she looked at him, biting her lip. Steve felt his mouth drop open as he took in her appearance. She was indeed wearing heels, a pair of sparkly, high heeled red Jimmy Choos- her “Ruby Slippers” as Rori dubbed them, and his eyes scanned up her bare legs to the hem of the sheer, red negligee which finished mid-thigh. He could see the outline of a pair of matching, red lace panties underneath as he continued to take in her appearance. The top of the garment was low cut, her cleavage amplified somewhat as her breasts swelled over the lace cups and he swallowed as he felt his cock twitch whilst he simply stared at her, slack jawed. Fuck, she was the sexiest thing he had ever seen in his entire life and when she did stuff like this…Jesus.

He glanced at her face, her hair falling over her shoulders in waves and it was then he noticed that on the top of her head sat a pair of fake red horns. Steve’s mouth curled up in sinful grin as Katie gave a dirty giggle, her green eyes sparkling with mischief as Steve strode towards her purposefully, one thing on his mind.

“Read to sell your soul to the Devil, Solider?” she asked and Steve let out a chuckle as he stopped in front of her, his hands gripping her hips

“I sold it to you years ago, Doll.”

She grinned at him as he pulled her closer, his fingers curling against her gentle curves, tangling in the soft material of the negligee as he dropped his head to hers, kissing her deeply. Her hands smoothed over the top of his grey Henley coming to rest on his chest as he curled one arm around her waist, pulling her closer. At the feel of her pressed against him, Steve let out a soft moan

“God I’ve been waiting for this all night” he mumbled and Katie grinned against his lips.

“Well like I tell the kids, a little patience goes a long way Stevie.” she purred and Steve shrugged, his hands dropping to the back of her thighs as he easily lifted her, her heel-clad legs wrapping around his waist.

“And as you know when it comes to you baby girl, I have very little self-control.”

“Don’t I know it, there’s reason we have 4 biological kids.” she pondered for a moment and Steve laughed as her lips met his again and her hands raked into his hair, her nails biting gently against his scalp.

With steady strides, Steve carried her over to the spot in front of the fireplace where he gently set her on her feet and knelt in front of her. The light of the fire cast a bronze glow against her smooth skin and taking his time to simply enjoy the moment, his hands traced up the back of her calves to her thighs, his touch feather light as he reached up to her ass. He gave her flesh a squeeze before pulling her forward a little and her hands reached out to rest on his shoulders for support as he pushed his head under the bottom of the lace garment, nose skimming along the waistband of her panties. He peppered hot, open mouthed kisses across her soft skin, before he dropped his head lower and nudged his nose over her covered mound. She whimpered a little as he brushed her nub and her hips moved forward, seeking him out.

“Now who’s impatient?” He looked up at her and she glanced down, arching an eyebrow.

“It may have escaped your notice…” she took a deep breath “My self-control is also pretty non-existent around you too.”

“Well, I’m not one to keep a lady waiting” Steve smirked and in a swift movement he hooked an arm round her waist causing her to shriek a little before she laughed as he deposited her gently on the rug, caging her with his arms. He glanced down at her, brunette waves fanning out over the light grey and black of the soft tuft wool and leaned down, his nose nudging against hers.

“You know I love you, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” she frowned a little, as Steve brushed his lips over hers.

“Good, now remember that. Because I’m about to fuck you like I don’t.”

Katie barely had time to register what he said before he’d moved down her body, hands skating up the outside of her thighs where his fingers bunched in her panties. With a sharp tug he’d snapped the elastic and tossed them to one side, grabbing her ankles and moving her feet so they were planted on the floor, the heels she was wearing caused her pelvis to raise up off her floor slightly. Without another word he pushed her knees apart and his mouth was on her, and he wasn’t holding back.

Katie’s body jolted as she let out a soft sigh of his name which was laced with satisfaction as he set his mouth to work, devouring her with the enthusiasm of a man starved, which in all fairness he was. He was low key horny around her all the time and he’d been sporting a fucking semi pretty much since the first time they’d been interrupted that evening. Having her so close yet out of reach all night so to speak had driven him wild.

His tongue licked, and lapped, flicked and curled over and over and Katie’s groans and pants grew louder and louder as he worked her into a frenzy. She curled the fingers of one hand into his hair, the other gripping at the rug underneath her as she arched her back even more, pushing herself against his face as her head began to spin. The contrast of his short beard scratching at her sensitive skin to his soft tongue and mouth was sending her entire body into overdrive and Steve could tell. He gently grazed her bud with his teeth, inserting 2 fingers inside her, both actions causing her hips to violently buck, her nails dug further into his scalp and he gave a chuckle which vibrated against her clit causing her to groan loudly.

“Jesus Christ Steve…” she panted, looking down at him. He peeked up from between her legs, a cheeky glint in his eyes which shimmered in the light of the fire, full of a blaze of their own as he continued, his tongue flicking at her entrance, before he sucked on her bud and then she was gone. Her legs trembled as her hand pulled his hair, almost to the point it was painful as she gave a loud cry, her other hand reaching to his head as she used both to push him away from her sensitive sex. He moved his head back but his fingers stayed exactly where they were, curling against the soft sponge of her walls as she clamped down around them, giving a little groan as she did, her legs flopping down flat on the floor. With a smug sense of satisfaction at having undone her to the extent he had, Steve pushed himself up, wiping his wet face with the back of his forearm and crawled over her, cupping her cheeks, kissing her again, his tongue tangling against hers. Katie moaned wantonly into his mouth as she could taste her arousal as his mouth dominated hers before he pulled back, his thumb and forefinger gently gripping her chin making her eyes open and lock onto his.

“On your knees sweetheart.” His tone was low as he used his Captain’s voice to issue the instruction, telling her not to argue. Not that she would, as mouthy and stubborn as she was this was the one area of their relationship in which she was always willing to surrender to him completely. With a graceful movement she pulled her legs back towards her and turned her body, rising to her knees, palms planted on the floor.

Steve pushed the waistband of his sweats and boxers down before he moved his hands to her hips, pulling her back with a swift action, placing one palm on the base of her back. With the other he took his throbbing cock in his hand, gave himself a few quick strokes before he lined himself up. With a snap of his hips he buried himself in her heat, balls deep, jolting her forward. The rumble from his throat slipped out of his mouth at the relief of finally being inside her, drowning her cries out.

His pace was relentless from the outset, just as it had been when he’d worked her with his mouth and his hands gripped her waist tightly as he drove in and out of her over and over, in fast, deep movements, pulling her back onto him with each thrust he made. He watched her face as her head fell forward between her arms, her bottom lip clamped between her lip, eyes closed in pleasure, those dirty little noises she made joined the sound of skin slapping skin as he did just as he’d said he was going to do, and fucked her hard.

It was raw, animalistic even, and a far cry from the usual way Steve liked to love on her but hell, it felt just as good to Katie as anything he ever did and after a particularly deep drive she cried out, fisting her hands into the rug, as she felt him bend over her, his large frame crowding hers from behind.

“God you feel so good baby…” he groaned, his chest was pressed to her back, his mouth nipping at that spot on her neck as she felt the heat pooling in her belly again. In an almost automatic movement, her head rolled to the left, allowing him access to her neck where he nipped and sucked at her skin, her gasps growing louder as he continued to thrust. “So fuckin’ good…”

As he spoke, Steve reached up and wrapped one large hand around her neck, tipping her face round to his so he could kiss her. It was all Katie could do to kiss him back, allowing him to control the pace as she was completely gone, the sensations lancing through her body had left her totally pliant to his ministrations.

“Captain…” she panted softly against his mouth as Steve gave an almost pathetic whine at the sound of that name slipping from her throat as he continued to push into her, driving deep before he stilled, his hips flush to her ass. Katie gave a squeak as he rotated his hips, letting go of her neck and pushing himself back up as his hand slid down her body, between her legs drawing a long wail of delight from her mouth as he fondled her bud, “Shit…I’m…Steve I’m gonna...”

“Go on, come for me baby…” he hissed, his jaw clenched, the sweat beading on his brow as he rutted forward again, once more grinding against her “Give it to me, let go…”

With a last, loud, filthy lament she came, hard, her knees almost buckling, but Steve’s arm quickly looped around her waist holding her up as she blissed out completely, the entire world fading around her as she felt nothing but the familiar hot, warm pleasure as her abdomen contracted and relaxed as her walls spasmed around him over and over.

“Good girl.” he praised as he continued thrusting through, the heat in his own belly now beginning to spike even more, “Such a good girl for me.” Katie preened at his praise, relaxing slightly as he bent over and kissed her neck once more, picking up the pace slightly. And then, she pushed back suddenly catching Steve off guard, sending him sprawling onto his back. She went with him, his cock still stuffed inside her, her back sliding on his chest as he continued to fuck up into her, his knees bent, feet flat on the floor. Katie’s head fell back against his shoulder, her face tilting to kiss his as she lay on him, legs spread, feet planted either side of his hips. His hand crept over her stomach, dipping into her folds as his fingers and palm furiously toyed and played with her, brushing against his shaft as he rocked in and out of his wife.

“Steve…” she whined “I can’t…it’s too much…” “You got one more in you.” he all but growled, “I know you do. And I’m taking it, whether you want me to or not.”

True to his word he continued his unyielding assault on her senses and before long her breathing had risen and his name was slipping from Katie’s lips in that familiar staccato pant. She gave in, and this time the climax almost feeble but still just as pleasurable as she fluttered around him. At the feel of her round him, and the sound of the exhausted, sultry groan she let out into his hear Steve was done for, and with a final, violent buck upwards he came, biting down gently on her shoulder, muffling the noises of satisfaction and pleasure that rolled from the back of his throat.

The pair of them lay still, chests heaving and Katie licked her lips, eyes closed as she waited for her body to gain some form of control over itself. After a little while, she felt Steve’s hands gently slid up her side to the outside of her arms, giving a gentle rub as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

“You ok?” he asked.

Katie hummed a little and grinned, tipping her face round to look at him “I’ll say…that was…”

“Yeah…” Steve nodded, the pair of them chuckling. “It was worth the wait.”

Katie’s head lolled back against his shoulder and she closed her eyes again. Not wanting to move just yet, the feeling of her lay over the top of him whilst he was still buried inside her was too nice, Steve wrapped his arms around her front as he shifted slightly so he could press a kiss to her lips. She wiggled her hips a little and he gave a low grunt at the sensation and he looked at her as she arched an eyebrow.

“You want more?” he asked, his voice low and she fixed him with a look that was half suggestive, half apprehension as to whether she could actually take anymore. Steve grinned and pressed his lips back to hers, the kiss deepening as he felt himself starting to grow hard inside her again, and just as he had pushed her up into a sitting position, backwards on his lap, the security system sounded and the front door clicked open.

Katie’s head turned back to look at him over her shoulder, both faces sporting expressions of utter horror as Emmy and Peter’s voices drifted up the hall.

“Shit…” Katie jumped up, glancing down at herself as Steve scrambled to his feet, tucking himself into his pants, hastily yanking at the crotch in an attempt to make them a little less snug, so to speak.

“Give me your shirt…” Katie hissed and he reached over, grabbing a fistful of it in his hand. Yanking it over his head he tossed it to her and she shoved it on over her skimpy little outfit, before she kicked off her heels, and she’d just smoothed her hair down when the door to the lounge opened. Emmy and Peter stopped dead. Peter hastily turned away as Emmy’s eyes roved over Steve’s shirtless form, then to Katie who was stood in his Henley which thankfully was big enough to cover her body down to the middle of her thighs, hiding the red lace garment underneath. Whilst they might have hidden their modesty for the most part, there was no hiding the fact both of their faces were flushed with exhaustion and sexual gratification…nor was there any disguising the fact Katie was stood with her legs crossed in a desperate attempt to stop Steve’s release from dribbling down her leg. And then just to make it even more obvious, Katie’s shredded red lace panties were dumped in the middle of the floor right by her discarded heels…

“Jesus Christ…” Emmy mumbled, backing out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Katie and Steve glanced at one another, and Katie burst out laughing at the look of utter horror on Steve’s face.

“Cheer up Steve…” she patted his chest “Could have been worse.”

“Seriously?” he blinked “What could be worse than basically being caught in flagrante by our daughter and that boy?”

“Ok, first off, his name is Pete…and actually I can think of a few things.” Katie shrugged, bending down to pick up her shoes and her destroyed underwear “Had she come in like 2 minutes earlier she’d have caught us in a much more compromising position…or even worse than that, we could have walked in on her.”

“Doll, just don’t!” Steve held his hand up, giving a groan.

Katie laughed and made her way to the door. “I’m going upstairs to clean up and get in bed, can you bring me a bottle of water up please?”

Steve sighed and nodded, watching her go. Taking a deep breath he wandered into the kitchen were Emmy was stood scowling, leaning against the kitchen counter as she glared as his topless form, Pete hastily averting his eyes.

“You two are disgusting.” Emmy shook her head “It’s bad enough hearing you in your bedroom but…fucking hell Dad!”

“Watch your mouth Emily.” Steve said sternly as he felt the heat rising in his neck. He made his way to the fridge, pulling out two bottles of water before he straightened up. “We weren’t expecting you back so early.”

“Clearly.” Emmy arched an eyebrow.

“You know what?” Steve’s temper flared a little “This is mine and your Ma’s house, and well, frankly, we’ll do what we want, where we want.”

At that Peter gave a little cough and pushed himself up off the counter, “I’m gonna…yeah…” he said, pointing to the utility room door “I’ll be in the cabin Em.”

Neither Steve nor Emmy paid him any attention as he scuttled off, the door clicking shut behind him.

“Dad!” Emmy spluttered, her face in her hand as she shook her head “That was so embarrassing!”

“Well it wasn’t exactly a barrel of laughs for us either you know Em!” Steve groaned “Like, seriously, why did you even come in here anyway? You don’t need to come through the house to get to your annex!”

“We were hungry.” She whined, “Mom said she’d leave us something in the fridge although frankly, now I’ve lost my appetite.”

Steve wiped a hand over his face before he shook his head, taking a deep breath “I’m gonna go up to bed. Can we just forget this happened, please?”

“I’d love to.” Emmy practically growled as she made her way towards the rear of the kitchen. “God, I need to scrub my eyes with bleach…once you’ve finished using it to mop wherever you were…you know.”

Steve arched an eyebrow and that little devil on his shoulder reared his, or her as the case may be, head and he couldn’t help the sarcastic response as it flew from his mouth “I hate to break it to you sweetheart, but I’d need a lot of bleach to wash down each surface of this house I’ve had your mother on.”

Emmy’s mouth fell open and she looked at him, before she let out a loud groan. “You’re disgusting. Like, I can’t even…”

She shook her head and hurried out of the room, closing the door behind her. Steve shook his head, watched as the security light clicked on whilst she stormed across the back garden to her little annex and with a chuckle he made sure the door was locked and turned off the lights.

All in all it had been a damned good day now he thought about it. He’d carved pumpkins with his kids, seen them all have a great time, eaten Italian, drunk beer, chatted to his friends, fucked his wife exceptionally well and now embarrassed his eldest.

“Mission accomplished…” he snorted to himself as he took the stairs two at a two, padding across the hallway and entering his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

#stark spangled kinks #steve rogers #steve rogers x original female character #katie stark #stark spangled is 1 #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers smut

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danddymaro · 4 years ago

Text

Candy Kisses | Pietro Maximoff x Reader

Something full of childish, little shit.

I think it’s A real Shame Pietro didn’t get far in the MCU, but what can you do but write fanfic, right?.

( ╥ω╥ )

Thoughts are italics in quotations = ‘Example’

Flashbacks are in italics = Example

Word Count : 3800

Candy Kisses

"Bothered Princess ?" Pietro taunted (f/n) while holding up the bag of gummies and tipping it over his open mouth, eager to taste the sugary snack of small, colored teddies.

"Pietro!" She cried out, vexed, brewed with annoyance.

"THOSE...ARE...MINE!" She cried out in frustration, jumping up and down in an attempt to snatch the bag from his hand, but failing to reach it every single time. Just when it touched her fingertips, he rose it higher, taunting her by doing so and of course as a result, frustrating her to no end.

" Hmm?" He continued to chew on the bears, sending her an evil grin. "Sorry... can't hear you from down there," he said shrugging, playing on her shorter stature, pushing her forehead with a sole finger, making her fall back from the tips of her toes and back to her regular size.

"You're such a jerk!" she huffed, fuming.

Even if she had wanted to get back at him, he always used his speed to overpower her. And if he wasn't running from her, he was pestering her, using his height difference as leverage.

'Asshole!' She inwardly cried, wondering if it was his life's goal to annoy her.

" Just give them back," She said flatly, her tone dropping by two degrees. "...or I'll call Steve to come get them himself," she shot back in a threatening tone, speaking right through her clenched teeth.

For just a short second her expression became dark, displaying a rather cruel smirk to go along with the intimidation tactic.

'Go Ahead...Try me!' she thought maliciously. 'I'm not all talk,' She added.

While she normally would have blown her top off by then, she decided to think first, this time around being smart, stopping before she made a repeat of the last hundred times she's failed.

Because that's where she'd always fail.

Once she let him get to her she lost,

' I've got you now,' She thought triumphantly. " He's gonna beat you up! " She exclaimed, " Cause in case you don't recall, he doesn't like bullies!" she continued smugly.

She then placed a hand to her hip and gave him a closed eye, wide smile, already tasting victory... as well as her little sweet bears.

The first avenger already knew about their usual headbutts and had convinced her to just go to him instead. As usual, he worked as a mediator between everyone else, which left Rogers to deal with never-ending stupidity and problems, knowing that no one else would do it properly.

"You might as well give them up now," she added putting out her hand in wait.

'Unless you wanna get your ass kicked! ' she thought with a little giggle.

Rolling his eyes Pietro continued to take his time chewing, gliding his tongue over the leftover sweetness clinging to his teeth before offering her a deadpanned look,

" Nah... you've got to get them yourself," he said simply, shrugging at her.

He looked unfazed by her threat and was actually even more fueled to bother her now.

" ...Getting other people to fight your battles..." he said while tisking, chiding her with a headshake of disapproval. "So sad..." he added in a low voice, snickering.

He observed the way the frustration on her face vanished, suddenly melting down to nothingness. For just a moment her face became blank, and at that, he raised an eyebrow. He curiously eyed the rather nonchalant expression, noting it to be something she'd never done before.

Because if past experiences served as reference, she should have been bickering with him, having grown so annoyed she showed off her adorable, little angry face.

' did I break her?' he thought while peering down at her, seeing her stand stiffly still, almost like a little tree being forced up right by little guidance sticks and ropes. "Prince-" Before he could utter the nickname, she roared out a wild screech and launched herself towards him with widespread arms.

' not even close,' he thought to himself, chuckling, feeling his worry wash away as she blew her top off.

The second she had launched at him, he moved aside easily, using his advanced speed to his advantage and ultimately making her look like a clumsy fool, yet again.

With a wince she rubbed her nose, forcing out fake little tears to try and soften his bastard heart, which of course, didn't work. "Whoops...princess! " he exclaimed and he didn't waste time in doubling over, laughing in high spirits at her glare. " ...Woah there! I didn't know flying was one of your specialties.... Princess, " He added with merriment.

'That nickname... ' She thought with spite. Again with that mocking nickname....

She stayed on the ground, fuming, clenching her fists at the sound of his obnoxious laughter.

He then quieted down, noticing how she remained on the floor and curiously, he bent down to her, his face melting down into a placid smile, " Oh Princess, don't be mad at me," He said softly, offering her his hand.

Her (e/c) eyes trailed up to him, watching his handsome face staring down at her with a soft smile as he offered her help, but stubbornly she smacked his offer away, tearing her eyes from him.

"I don't need your help you jerk," she said beneath her breath, picking herself off the ground, roughly brushing off her pants of any little debris sticking to them.

Him being annoying as one thing, but then when he switched off from being a complete jerk to this sweet, charming guy, and it made her feel even more conflicted.

She couldn't count the many times she's stared up at him while he had that position, holding out his hand to her, waiting for her to accept it, a soft, gentle smile being sported during all the moments.

- And just as his offer was a constant so was her refusal.

Back when she met him, he'd knocked her down, taunting her for being slow, which in retrospect was what he usually did to anyone and everyone he came across with.

She glared up at him, her (e/c) eyes shooting daggers at him as he had made his little teasing comment when he stopped before her stilled figure.

In all her frustration though, she hadn't noticed was the way he stumbled, his steps faltering as he actually caught sight of her. Because to him, she was more than just ' pretty'... she was painstakingly beautiful, enough to make his heart jump.

Her hand then reached for her pistol, but the instant she went to aim it at him, he came up to her, one hand gripping the weapon, the other falling to the small of her back.

Her breath hitched with surprise as he yanked the gun away from her, throwing it behind him, dipping her low and making her fall into his arm with a frightened, little shiver running down her spine.

Wide-eyed and struck stupid she stared on at him, caught in his arms, practically defenseless.

"You look like a princess to me," He said cheekily, watching her face glow at both his words and actions, something he was very proud of

- And then he switched sides, aiding them against Ultron along with his twin sister. And while the help was appreciated, (f/n) had trouble believing he had suddenly switched into some good guy in a matter of seconds.

All in all, she hadn't had an ounce of trust for the man, deciding to turn from his aid whenever he offered it,

" You like falling don't you Princess ?" He asked her as he watched her while she lay on the floor, smudges of dirt coating her. Annoyed she puffed the strands of (h/c) that fell over her eyes, gritting her teeth in pain.

"Or do I make your knees weak?" He added, shooting her a charming little grin while he stretched out his arm for her, his hand set before her to take.

"...Focus on the task at hand," she muttered, looking away from his offer, standing on her own and barely brushing past him, not wanting to be around him any longer, because for some odd reason her heart jumped faster when he was around.

Smiling, he gave her a light pat on her head, deciding to walk away backward, making sure she could see him push two more of the bears in between his smirking lips. With a challenging look, he stuffed the remainder of the candies in his pocket for safekeeping, giving her a small wink coupled with a halfhearted salute.

"Well this was fun," he mused out loud, noticing how her eyes followed the bag like a hawk.

'He has to have a weakness...some weak spot...' She huffed, 'He can't always get the best out of me!' she added while finding It impossible for him to always get out of her grasp.

" Bye!," he sang, planning on speeding away before (f/n) launched towards him again.

Wanda, who had been there the whole time sat on the couch, lazily eyeing her brother before she shrugged, weaving her fingers through the air.

As a result, a red mist left her dancing fingers and wrapped around his two legs, immobilizing him. Left wrapped with a misty, crimson wire, his legs failed him miserably, forcing him to fly a few feet back.

coincidentally, at that very moment (f/n) had launched towards him and stuck her hand out, gripping his shirt, resulting in her also flying back.

with a frightened scream, she joined him in the crash landing, clinging to him, small fingers jabbing into his sides, nails close to piercing into him with all the adrenalin that pumped into her.

Gripping (f/n)'s waist tightly, he did the most sensible thing that occurred to him, pulling her towards him, keeping her safe while she clung to him.

"You idiot!" She squealed feeling his hands slide down to her hips, slapping them off.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled pushing her off of him, causing her roll off and land at his side, staring off into the same ceiling he was before he sat up, (f/n) following in suit.

Smirking slightly, Wanda continued to watch her program, unconcerned of the double glare she received.

'Serves them right for being so loud,' She said to herself, having been annoyed with their constant bickering. Her original plan was to get only her brother, but she was pleased by the result nonetheless.

Realizing the golden opportunity, (f/n) then took the advantage of the man's vulnerability, pushing Pietro down with a jut of her palm to his shoulder. fastly, her legs swung to either side of his abdomen while her two hands hovered over his neck, threatening to take hold,

"Spit them out!" She ordered. "Spit them out now a thief." She said lowly.

"It's not like your gonna eat them!" He shot back, returning the glare and participating in an intense staredown.

"Maybe I will!" She retorted back, huffing. "No you won't!" he said immediately afterward. " Don't tell me what I can and can't do!" she rebutted, not wanting to lose a single argument against the irritating man.

'Why is he so annoying!' She thought irked.

"Fine !" he shouted, "You want them so bad?" He asked her, his hand snaking through her (h/c) colored strands, landing to securely grip her head.

Shaking she stared at him doe-eyed, helplessly stuttering out his name, "P-P-Pie...Pietro?" She squeaked before his lips fell onto hers, his warm tongue slipping two, little crushed bears into her mouth.

Her brain fried as the action left her stupidly stunned.

Not long after, she went noodle limp, resistance on her side vanishing as he took advantage of the moment to deepen the kiss, mindlessly losing himself in the action.

As Wanda looked over she made a small noise of disgust, swallowing down a gag as scampering out of the room, leaving them alone. "I need to wash my eyes," she said rubbing them furiously, trying to wash away the sight of her brother's tongue inside some girl and vise-versa.

It was the last and only time she'd ever wanted to see, especially so close and personal,

"THEY SOUND LIKE SLOBBERING DOGS!" she said out loud, still hearing the echoing sounds haunting her like a vengeful spirit.

Soon after Pietro drew back, giving the unresponsive girl and wide grin. "I see I left you speechless princess," he said smugly, noticing the growing redness sprayed over the entirety of her face.

"If you li-" he didn't finish before he felt two hands grip his neck, squeezing with a rancorous, tight grip. "I swear I'll kill you this time!" She cried out just as Steve walked through the doorway.

Immediately moving into action the man rushed to both team member's sides, pulling the raging woman off by wrapping his arms around her midsection. Luckily, it didn't take much for him to tear her off, and when he did, he swung her to his side and carried her under an arm like a small lapdog, her arms still outstretched to reach the silver-haired man.

"What's going on here?" Steve asked worriedly, looking between the two for answers, receiving nothing from both of them, only glares connecting the two, none too keen on speaking.

"HE STOLE MY KISS!" She cried out, her voice cracking. Pietro stood up, coughing, glaring at her childishly, "SHE ATTACKED ME!" He exclaimed loudly, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"Kisses?" Steve asked bewildered.

'Over some stupid little candies?' he thought dropping his shoulders and sighing. 'Of course. Of course, it would be.' he said to himself, shaking his head at the two, wondering if he was actually running a team of heroes and not an all-around daycare.

'Every day...' he thought to himself. "Pietro, stop being such a child, just buy them yourself. Or just ask! " He suggested, "There's no need to go around stealing like some playground bully," Steve said rubbing his forehead with his free hand.

Planting the small woman's feet flat to the ground, he then took both her shoulders in his hands and stared deeply into her (e/c) colored eyes, leaning down to her by bending his knees slightly for good measure.

"And ( f/n)..." He started, "It's just a little chocolate candy. I'm sure you've got billions of them tucked away somewhere," he said trying to reason with her, knowing it to be true.

The woman had a lifetime supply of candies and treats hidden away at almost every corner of the building, making Tony's trash stash look mediocre. So he didn't understand why she'd get so riled up over a single drop of chocolate no bigger than a quarter.

Giving her a rather tame smile he tried to comfort her, earning nothing but a look of withheld frustration.

(f/n) pressed her lips together, feeling the heat radiating from her blazing cheeks grow hotter.

' He really doesn't get it !' she thought to herself, unable to correct him, finding it hard to actually tell him what happened, especially not when his face was just inches from hers, giving her the most oblivious look of all times,

' of all the times for him to act all innocent...' she gritted.' I hate you so much, Steve! You old fart...' She thought helplessly. It was then that Wanda popped her head inside, tightly holding onto the doorway and keeping her eyes shut close,

" Are they still sucking faces?" she asked as a safety measure, not wanting to walk into anything worth bleaching her eyes out.

As soon as the words cut through the air and settled in, it was like glass shattered around the room.

Steve quickly shot quick looks at both Pietro and ( f/n ), seeing the two avert their eyes with shame, the male kicking the ground lightly in a halfhearted manner to divert his thoughts and calm them. Meanwhile, (f/n) unconsciously ran unenthusiastic, little fingers over her lips, her eyes gradually softening up and glossing as she thought back to the sugar-infused mash-up between her and the young avenger.

"Kiss..." Steve mumbled. "you... kiss, he... ooh..." he said slapping a hand to his face.

He felt like such an idiot...

"it's not about candy," he said sighing. " Yeah" ( f/n) mumbled dumbly, still caught in thought.

'I mean...At least it wasn't so bad...' she thought to herself while she calmed, taking a moment to appreciate it for all it was worth. She then shifted from one foot to another until she finally hung her head as she accepted that maybe...just maybe she wanted another one.

Before Steve could suggest anything else, Bucky stalked in, breathing through his flared nostrils,

"tell him to stop touching me!" He told Steve, all while fuming.

Sam walked through the doorway too, a wide grin on his face that showed his two row of teeth beautifully,

"I'm not touching you!" He said placing his index just inches away from the brunette's face, taunting him. Bucky's eye twitched with annoyance, glaring at the index, seemingly ready to bite it off.

" Now...This is touching you," Sam said pressing the finger to the long-haired man's cheek, digging it through the soft flesh not secured by bone.

" Did you see that Steve!! He touched me!" Bucky cried out, shoving Sam away with both outstretched arms.

"Tell him to stop!" he demanded.

" stop doing what! I haven't touched you! That was just an example! " Sam retorted, pushing him back, beginning to bicker.

"- Oh my God..." Steve muttered under his breath, feeling lightheaded, rubbing his index and middle fingers over each side of his head to alleviate the bothersome pulsing.

" You ok Steve?" (F/n) said worriedly, seeing the color drain from his face as he grew paler, nearly turning grey.

He then took in a deep breath through his nostrils before closing his eyes, tightly pressing his lips together, calmly replying to her in a soft voice, " Go to your room (f/n) ." He ordered her.

"Excuse me?" she replied perplexed, not even sounding offended, just completely puzzled by his words. ' go to my room?' she thought to herself, raising a brow, growing more concerned for their leader. 'what am I six?' She thought with a snicker, 'I'm a grown-ass woman,' She added rebelliously.

His eyes snapped to hers in a flash, and with the same voice, but staring her dead in the eyes with a dull look, he spoke yet again,

"Go...to....your... room... (f/n), NOW." He told her again, a shiver crawling up her entire spine at his final, stern word. She stared at him completely taken back, lifting a finger to start a protest, but with the flat look he gave her, she shot it down slowly, "Um...o..ok? " She said slowly, deciding to do what he said, "I'll go..." She peeped, doing as he said.

Rather stiffly she walked to her quarters, but not before shooting the silver-haired man a vengeful glare, promising rebuttal.

'I'll get you back,' She mouthed.

Pietro stifled a giggle watching the woman retreat, stopping as he felt a tight grip tugging at his earlobe. Knowing best, Wanda pulled him away to safety, " elsewhere is better," she muttered, slipping away.

Too preoccupied in their arguments and once In a while slaps and pushes, both Sam and Bucky didn't see, nor hear the blonde approach them. He went unnoticed until he lay a hand to the back of each of their heads, forcing them forward into a forced headbutt,

"Why can't you two act like adults?" Steve said annoyed, " Everywhere I turn you're bickering and arguing!" he ranted, letting loose a string of frustration.

Tony entered the door and retaining the same enjoyment he had walked in with, he turned back around, heading a different direction.

- Because he'd be stupid to stay behind while the blonde vented... Little Addition: "I've been a jerk," The silver-haired male said softly, eyeing her with true sincerity she had trouble believing in, "So... I thought maybe I'd give back." Pietro said scratching the back of his head with embarrassment.

"I've got arranged gummies. Sweet teddies, and the little sour candies; the small worms," he told her. "You pick and choose what you want," He told her, showing her his humbled face.

"Oh...I've also got chocolates," He said while his two hands held each side of the bag, presenting it to her, open for her to take as much as she wished.

" It's basically a piece of everything I've taken." He explained, wanting to make amends. "So, if you want to be even... you can steal mine." He muttered, making her go wide-eyed.

She took a tentative step towards him, soon standing on the tips of her toes, stretching her neck out as well to get as close to his face as possible, her left brow raising with suspicion. With a zany, little half-smile she spoke, "So..." She started, squinting up at him with a wary glare.

"What's your game silver, hmmm?" She said finishing off with a dragged off the hum.

"I don't trust you," she added, "Because for all I know they could be laced with poison," she muttered, not truly believing he'd do something so malicious.

If anything he'd hand her stale gummies or ones that have fallen to the floor.

-That seemed more probable in her book.

"So you don't want them then?" he said while challenging her, his eye twitching, " cause I'll take them back," He said while pulling back the bag until she stopped him, her hands both placed over his.

"No," she said softly, "It's just... you're missing one," She said while curling her finger to beckon him, making him leer down, staring into the bag with curiosity.

"Which one?" He asked confusing, having thought he remembered them all.

As he then looked to her, she took advantage, her lips falling onto his, a sweet little kiss placed on his lips as she paid him back for the earlier press.

"Ah," He breathed, understanding, a little sweet smile playing at his lips as he watched her quickly retreat, her finger pressing the elevator door with haste. He found it adorable how she snuck away, without a doubt in his mind flustered by the kiss, choosing to hide instead.

"Oh princess, " He muttered, A dumb smile played at his lips as the doors closed, not realizing that while he let his guard down, she'd taken his entire bag, indulging herself while she escaped and hid behind the metal doors.

"Oh wow," she mused, " I think they taste better when you steal them," She muttered to herself, being quick to pop a little red gummy in her mouth, the taste bringing her back to the sugary kiss of before, making her enjoy the taste even moreso.

DIS BITCH HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR YEAARRRRSSS

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dalgikiss · 4 years ago

Text

Among the Stories // e. kirishima

index

part 2

white butterfly

ii. Your mother tells you the story of an old man named Takahama who lived alone for as long as his nephew could remember. Takahama worked as a caretaker of a nearby cemetery despite coming from a rather prestigious family. Since Takahama had not been married, his nephew and sisters often came to take care of him. The nephew always thought it was a little creepy whenever he went to visit Takahama after all ghosts were nothing to make fun of.

One day Takahama fell violently ill, so his nephew went to go check on him. As Takahama was taking a nap, a white butterfly flew in and rested beside him on the pillow. His nephew grew annoyed and tried several times to shoo it away but it always came back. Once Takahama took in his last breath, the butterfly flew out of the house. Takahama’s nephew followed it to a grave where a woman named Akiko rested before it disappeared.

When the nephew came back, he asked his mother about a woman named Akiko. His mother smiles knowingly before telling him the story of Takahama and Akiko. Takahama and Akakiko were hopelessly in love with one another but the day they were supposed to get married, she fell ill and passed away. Unable to bear the idea of being separated, he vowed to always be near her grave.

The day Takahama fell ill was the first time he had never gone to visit her grave. The small butterfly was Akiko’s soul checking in with Takahama, wondering where he was. Akiko only left once Takahama’s soul had reunited with her.

Your mother always ended her story with a kiss on your forehead. “I hope you find someone you love a lot”

“Someone I love just as much as Takahama loved Akiko?” You’d wriggle out of your mother’s grasp when she began to smother your cheek in kisses, panting slightly from the effort.

“Yes, someone you love as much as Takahama loved Akiko” She’d stand from where she was sitting by the dining table, reaching over to ruffle your hair on the other side, “Of course it goes without saying, they have to love you back just as much”

He shows up at your door with a white envelope held in his shaky hands. “You got it?” You excitedly take his hand into yours, shaking the white envelope between the two of you as you pull him into your house, “Oh my gosh, come in, come in”

Kirishima is barely able to kick his red crocs off -- you shake your head at the sight of them, dude, you need to get rid of them, they’re actually a crime against fashion -- as you rush him to your room, the door slamming shut behind you.

“Well?” you look at him expectantly, “Open it!”

Kirishima glances at you and then back at the white envelope currently being crushed in his palm. “What if I don’t get in?” the envelope in his hand crumples a little further under his tight grip, “What if they tell me that my quirk is too boring or that I’m just not cut out to be a hero, or- ow!”

You shake your hand, palm stinging from your strength as you admire the red handprint that’s beginning to form on his forehead. You give him a sharp glare and he somehow withers further under your gaze.

“Stop that,” you reprimand him, “I told you before, you are good enough to be a hero so stop doubting yourself and open the damn letter”

He licks his lips, the sting of his forehead enveloping his senses. “Well?” You raise your eyebrow as though daring him to argue, “are you gonna open it or am I going to open it?”

“I will, I will! Just-“ Kirishima inhales deeply, a pathetic attempt at trying to calm the tornado of butterflies that have settled in his stomach, “give me a second, I can do this”

You wait expectantly, eyeing the letter in his sweaty hands as he closes his eyes. In one breath, he rips the top of the letter open, cracking his eye open to read the tiny font while you peered over the top.

“I got in”

“You got in?”

“I got in”

“Oh!” You squeal in excitement, “I knew you’d get in. Who told you you’d get accepted? I did, me!”

Kirishima has just enough time to cover the back of your head with his palm when you throw yourself at him, legs wrapping around his waist as you somehow twist the two of you so you’re diving headfirst into the wall.

You don’t give him a chance to breathe, pushing yourself up to sit on his chest with red cheeks and wild hair while Kirishima struggles to get used to the blinding light of your smile. How were you so always so confident?

“You should have applied,” He blurts out and you stop your excited rambling of I told you so, I’m always right, I should charge for my services, to look at him inquisitively, still riding the high of the endorphins that were surging through you.

“You should have applied, you would have gotten in. You’d be an amazing hero and people already love you” He repeats himself and you roll your eyes, mouth open to tell him to shut up but he pushes on.

“I just don’t want us to be apart”

You close your mouth when he says so, pursing your lips as you realize you would no longer be in the same class as Kirishima.

You glance back at the stacks of opened high school acceptance letters on your desk, brushing yourself off as you stand up from Kirishima’s chest. You flip through the stacks of paper, chewing on your lip as your eyes fall upon the bolded SEIDO HIGH SCHOOL written on the top of the thick paper.

Seido High school, located in Kokubunji, West Tokyo was more than an hour away, by train. You hesitate, unsure of what your decision was while the words ‘congratulations’ and ‘accepted’ stare at you point-blank.

Did you really want to go somewhere so far from Kirishima? You sneak a peek at where Kirishima was dusting his pants off before making his way towards you.

“What about you? Did you decide where you want to go to school?” Kirishima leans forwards, resting his head on your shoulder and you hastily shove the acceptance letters into a batch of loose papers before turning to face him.

“Yeah,” You smile, sifting through the acceptance letters until you found SAKURAGAOKA HIGH SCHOOL, shoving it in his face before he has time to register what you’ve done. “I’m gonna go to Sakuragaoka! I heard they have a really good band club and they have a good program for what I wanna do too”

“Are you sure?” Kirishima takes the paper out of your hands, “You really wanted to go to Seido High School, what happened to that?”

He reaches past you to look through the piles of paper on your desk but you’re faster, grabbing his face in between your hands.

“Nothing!” You say quickly, “I just didn’t get in”

“Are you sur-”

“Yeah!” You respond a bit too quickly and he raises his eyebrows at you while you laugh nervously, “But it all works out! I can stay close to home, do what I love, and still see you!”

He places his hands on top of yours as his heart makes itself extremely known with its hard thumping against his rib cage and he swears up and down, left and right that you can hear it with every moment he’s this close to you.

“Are you sure?”

I hope you find someone you love a lot

You stare into Kirishima’s eyes, watching as his blush further deepens across his cheeks and the dark lashes that sweep across his cheekbones every time he blinks.

Someone I love as much as Takahama loved Akiko?

Of course

You nod, taking his hands into your own. “Yeah! Of course, I’m sure” You interlace his fingers in between yours as you tug him out of your room, “I want some boba, let’s go get”

Kirishima stumbles after you, shouts of slow down getting lost in the air.

hey mom?

You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face when Kirishima orders for you, reciting your order by heart because this is Kirishima and he knows you like the back of his hand- from the first time you introduced yourself to him to the time you dropped gummy worms on the floor and ate them without thinking twice. He gives you the crooked grin you have come to love when he returns with the boba orders in hand and you take it from him gratefully.

i think i found someone i love a lot

Kirishima decides he won’t tell you he saw the acceptance letter from Saido High School sticking out from underneath your papers on the desk.

#kirishima x you #bnha kirishima #kirishima x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima eijurou #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #mha imagines #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #mha kirishima

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rainbowchip2003 · 5 years ago

Text

“stop moving! i’m going to have to start counting all over again!”

prompt #86 for @viralwolf02 ! word count: 1094

sebastian and rachel were, as usual, walking around the mall with shopping bags in hand. this was seb’s first time at the mall in awhile, he spent five days in his hometown of ontario. it felt good to be back in jersey! they blew their lunch money on nonsense, they raided spencer’s and snuck into the back.

(a.n.: if you know, you know)

although their break was coming to an end, they had just enough dough for one last store. as they walked around some more, sebastian felt his sweet tooth getting the best of him. he stopped dead in his tracks, and led rachel into the sugar high central that is poisonous novelties.

not only was he craving sweets, but one of his many partners in crime, rikki, was at the counter today! that meant they both could slack off for longer than usual… until they get dragged back to work. rikki and cc were the only two employees in the shop, while bret and bobby were busy in the kitchen. and fittingly enough, rikki was at the counter facing the entrance!

“sebastian!!” rikki held his arms out wide for a bear hug.

“rikki!!” sebastian practically ran into his arms!

“oh my god, look who it is!!” cc, the brooklyn loudmouth, screamed. “rikki literally can’t live without you!”

“tommy and slash missed you sooo much, but i think i missed you the most!” rikki shook seb a little, and buried his face into his chest.

“i missed you too, bud.” sebastian rubbed his friend’s back.

“i’m… also here.” rachel sheepishly added.

“hey, rachel.” cc waved, not turning around from his register.

“what’s that?” sebastian pointed to a mysterious blob of cloth on the counter.

“we’re doing one of those jar game things where you have to guess what’s inside.” rikki picked up the jar on the counter.

“you wanna play? it’s been here for, like, three days and no one’s gotten it right!” cc commented, as he disappeared into the kitchen.

“thanks, but we have to get back soon-” seb almost turned away, until...

“you get to keep whatever’s in here!” before he knew it, sebastian wasted no time rapid-firing every candy he could think of.

“reese’s pieces?” rikki shook the jar a little to hint that he was wrong. if they were reese’s pieces, they would’ve made a rattling sound inside. “rachel, come over here and help me!”

“alright, could it be.... swedish fish?”

“guess again.”

“charleston chews?” sebastian asked.

“what are those?” for the record, poisonous novelties only sells old people candy for a limited time.

“i don’t know, but my grandpa says it's candy.” seb’s probably eaten every type of candy under the sun.

“those butter mints they give out at italian restaurants?”

“nope.”

“peach rings? it’s gotta be peach rings, right?” rikki shook his head no. “can i just…” sebastian leaned close into the jar, closed his eyes, and took as big of a sniff as he could. his nostrils were met with an artificial, almost diluted, fruity scent. his eyes shot open and whispered, “... lightning bugs.”

“ding, ding, ding!!” rikki cheered as he took off the washcloth. the gelatinous goodness waited for him in it’s jar. at the very top were the infamous tongs that made the lightning bugs glow.

“those are my favorite!!” the tiny baby gummy worms were practically stuck to the walls of the jar.

“hold it!” sebastian reached for his prize, but rikki swatted his hand away. “you have to guess how many are in here.” at this point, rachel gave up entirely.

“i’ll start small…” sebastian put a finger up to his chin. “twelve.”

“it’s a lot more than that.”

“794?” seb made random, wild guesses to get the lightning bugs as soon as possible.

“no.”

“ok, i think i got it: 8,675,309!”

“you know that can’t possibly be true.” sebastian was going to ask rachel for help, but he was sitting on the floor, probably texting luna.

“546?”

“close!”

“really?” the contestant’s eyes lit up like fireworks.

“no.”

“ok, process of elimination doesn’t work… so, i’ll solve this with quick maths!” this is coming from the man who was held back in math twice. sebastian started multiplying by fours. “four, eight, twelve… sixteen… eighteen- stop moving! i’m going to have to start counting all over again!”

“i’m not even moving!”

“shoot, someone’s at the counter, isn’t there?” cc asked as he came back from the kitchen.

“i’ll take care of it.” rikki handed the jar over to cc, and got to ringing up the customer.

“thanks, baby.” cc mumbled.

“... what?”

“i said “thanks, you big stupid asshole”.” names that are typically crude double as terms of endearment for the poisonous novelties boys.

“you’re welcome, fat smelly bitch.”

“baz, we’ve been here for a while; you might as well give up-” rachel stood up and tried to drag sebastian outside.

“i’m not leaving without those lightning bugs!” sweets, especially gummies, are like crack to sebastian.

“there you are!” the two turned around to find scotti waiting impatiently.

“holy shit, how long have you been standing there?!” asked rachel.

“long enough; snake’s looking for you bozos.” sebastian tried to come up with a plausible excuse.

“uhhh… tell him i have diarrhea, and rachel has to help me.” scotti’s nose crinkled in disgust.

“i’ll just say you fell off one of the kiddie rides and knocked yourself out.” sebastian and rachel get into so many schemes, that practically anything is believable.

“and that i’m driving him to the hospital!”

“sure!”

“look, i don’t want you to get in trouble, so i’ll give you one last guess.” cc tapped on the lid of the jar, “if you guess wrong, no lightning bugs for you!” sebastian leaned across the counter in deep thought. he looked at the jar, then back to the cc. another hard look at the jar, then to rachel, and back to cc again. sebastian must’ve been thinking for two solid minutes without saying a word.

“i’ve thought long and hard… 324 lightning bugs, final answer!” cc took out a piece of paper from his pocket, presumably having the answer on it.

“324… correct!!” he cheered as flung the piece of paper into the air. “it’s all yours, sebastian!”

“YEET!!” sebastian snatched the jar out of cc’s hands. the winner held it above his head, and ran out of the store screaming the lyrics to sweet victory. rachel gave a shrug before going after him.

“should he really be running with that glass?” rikki asked cc.

“he’ll be fine, it’s plastic.”

#casablanca plaza #sebastian bach #rachel bolan #cc deville #rikki rockett #scotti hill #prompt #do not read while hungry #viralwolf02 #buffoonery

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thisdayinfavrd · 6 years ago

Text

May 11, 2009

Dude. You gotta learn to flush. And apparently chew. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 86

Superman: "You asleep?" Me: "Am I talking to you?" Superman: "Yes." Me: "Then yes. I am asleep." Superman: "Cool. Let's fight bad guys!" @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 79

Sorry son, an after-dinner game of catch is only offered on Dad Premium Edition™. I'm just Dad Basic™. Wanna split this funnel cake? @scottsimpson (Scott Simpson) – 77

I accidentally turned to the smooth jazz station and was naked by the time I could change the channel. @Aimee_B_Loved (Aimee B) – 71

Once bitten, twice shy, thrice starting to like it, four-times the safe word is "luncheon meats". @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 69

Every time I watch Mythbusters "debunk" MacGyver, I find myself thinking, "Yeah, but MAYBE it didn't work because You Are Not MacGyver!" @tj (Fun Size Bytes) – 56

Every time y'all talk about your kids I imagine how cute, and fulfilling they must be to raise. Then I go back to doing anything I want. @pheend (P. nutigusti) – 54

I would be enjoying this apple so much more if it were nachos. @Tony_D (Tony Delgrosso) – 53

Monday Eve is pretty much the lamest Eve. @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 50

Today they gave me fries with paprika on them. Then a cookie with raisins in it. I ate them anyway. I think I'd hold up well under torture. @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 50

6 year old just went on a nude rampage against an inflatable Bozo. Not for fun- this family believes in preparing for the clown wars. @CranberryPerson (N/A) – 48

Isn't this the best rhetorical question ever? @Zaius13 (Damn Dirty Ape) – 48

If you turn all your Mini-Wheats frosting-side down, you can pretend you're a much more health-conscious person. Mmm, whole-grain goodness. @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 47

My father caught me crocheting a diaper for my kitty. The doctors give him two weeks, tops. @fireland (Joshua Allen) – 47

"Benedict XVI Defends Women in Mideast." I assume the pope has traded in his funny hat for a mesh trucker hat, what with all the irony. @CcSteff (Stephanie) – 46

If this hurts me worse than it hurts you, I'm doing it wrong. @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 46

People who used to say "globalization" every 3rd sentence now seem to say "global economic crisis." I assume the angel still gets his wings. @adamisacson (Adam Isacson) – 43

Some days I think about my four years in college and all the wild, frenzied sex I like to believe I had back then. @gordonshumway (Jelisa Castrodale) – 43

Me: "I gotta keep moving. I'm like a shark." Wife: "World's most non-threatening shark." Me: "Look at my teeth! They're gummi bears!" @sween (Jason Sweeney) – 40

It's nice that my wife let's me act like I'm the man of the house sometimes, even though she has a better mustache OW OW UNCLE! @thedayhascome (Josh Hopkins) – 40

#favrd is down

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soc-characters-as-songs · 3 years ago

Note

glass animals?

ivy: black mambo ("wanna play cheat?/now says the sloth/a domino/flush to his nose/tickle that cheek/and take your throne/pump your veins/with gushing gold")

meredith: waterfalls coming out your mouth ("it's chemical warfare/red lips and television eyewear/raspberry soda hair/in the pool in a blow-up gummy bear/fake youth/scooby doo/push pops on the corner of the roof/fruit loops/super food/chat shit but where's the real you?")

diana: space ghost coast to coast ("fuck that shit, now I go/my way and you go yours/were you bored of gender norms?/of bein' alone, no mama home/a bad divorce, or sad we can't/afford the clothes our heroes own")

alassie: hot sugar ("hot sugar in the afternoon/I wish that we could be real too/so cool but we don't talk/hotels and alcohol/pool paintings on the wall/hot rubber on the tar/I don't wanna be around you/just wanna be like you")

ramona: I don't wanna talk (I just wanna dance) ("we kissed in the morning on a summer day/you taste like cigarettes and hurricanes/there's a warning written in the corners of your face/whiplash and you left me in a vapour trail/now I know it's safe to say/nothing's perfect anyway")

rhea: take a slice ("I don't ever wanna pick a slice/one is pretty but the other lies/chewing on a fat smoke/no filter but you're puffing/sucking on a slim vogue/dark fingernail polish/I'm the treasure, baby, I'm the prize/cut me rails of that fresh cherry pie")

cornelia: wyrd ("you can't run so you must hide/you won't make it back this time/I sold your rope for a bucket/of lemon peel, now suck it/so my friend, our time is done/you and I could've had so much/with ropes for the bucket/of luscious black gold nuggets")

kaden: melon and the coconut ("one day, you'll see you're fuckin' wrong/sometimes b-sides are the best songs/sometimes killing time's very fruitful/I know I can't make you younger/I can't stop life movin' onwards/I can't hide you from life's horrors/I'm not makin' you like your father/too much quinoa and online shopping")

andreia: season 2 episode 3 ("maybe, I wish I could remold ya/to vertical and golden/but you turn to styrofoam/and so it hurts to say it's hopeless/and we ain't gonna make it/leftover breakfast, cereal for lunch/she's broken, but she's fun")

suzy: helium ("you gonna call it or am I?/one more time/this puppy love is out of line/one more slide/and then we're back to real life/ooh and I'm falling now but it's so wrong/you talk like a man and taste like the sun/ooh and you lift your eyes up from the dust/I knew just then I knew it was done")

samuel: jdnt ("I'm all armored up/I've got my old helmet on/keeping out an eye/puffing all my feathers up/one more little blow/one more tap and I collapse/teetering on a toe/I feel that final poke/please, it's not okay/oh, can't you feel your dirty face?")

bianca: tangerine ("you poke at your phone postin' aerial photos/of you and your smoothie/I can't keep on makin' you happy/'cause you got issues with your daddy/I miss ramen noodles and laughing at you/and your gran in home movies/but I wish I could show you more of yourself/I wish I could make you somebody else/but I left it way too late/are you stuck in your own ways?")

archibald: pork soda ("somewhere in south end when you were fun/you took my hand and you made me run/up past the prison to the seafront/you climbed the cliff edge and took the plunge/why can't we laugh now like we did then?/how come I see you and ache instead?")

raphael: pools ("put the flowers in your hair/wrap your tendrils round my chest/I smile because I want to/I am your boy/shake my little soul for you now, toy/and I settle up into a world of noise/I'm a man of many tricks and tools and joy/with a battery of guilt on which to poise")

#songs #the selected #host characters

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years ago

Text

I wanna grow my clit up to a bigger, meatier size, but I don't want to be called a man or look like one with facial hair or to lose my hips.

It sounds like I might have identity issues but I don't wanna leave what I'm comfortable with as being a woman. I like girly things and I like being a woman. As well as being with other women and also being pleasured and teased to where my clit could be inside another woman for insertion/penetration.

Cause I've always imagined wanting to feel her/them/He cum on me while also cumming in me as well. I want to meet someone who's trans and prefers females as their main priority to date.

Plus growing a clit would be so much fun to jack off with too and to trib (which I haven't done yet).

And watching a pretty woman's mouth just suck me like a lil hard, soft, gummy bear would even make my day. God I wanna get suckeddd off sooo baddd!

And for her/him/they to even caress me and then chew on it a little bit and fucking gulping my clit, my walls, and my pussy lips all at the same time to where they squeeze it so tight and make me cum even more by holding it, flicking it, punching it with their tongue

And then diving tongue first all the way inside me. Then riding my clit and I can ride theirs.

Fuck I want a sweet, honey dripping pussy to fucking cum inside of me. With our big fat clits slobbing and sticking our tips together.

This sounds so fucking gay to admit, but I'm a femme.

And I just want that dick sensation of getting stroked and sucked off till I cum like a man, without having to look like one. Because I love my face and my body as is.

I just saw someone on okc who admitted to have gotten phalloplasty, and I was bro I can't. I looked up the surgery and I never felt so much pain watching how far someone would go to get a fully functioning dick. The cum part would be fun too 😋 but I know that's possible, just a fantasy of mine.

I think someone would label what I want is kinda similar to being a lesbian mtf. Kinda like how Athena was. But I'm in-between androgynous tomboy and fucking sexy ass pink femme who likes dolls, girls, and gothic shit.

My childlike side is starting to come back out more. I think I'm still missing that person because I haven't found new friends or a new trans/nonbinary boyfriend/Partner to bond with romantically. I wouldn't mind a mtf either, but I really want to experience that vagina × vagina bromance that I've been missing.

Like two girls with lil dicks rubbing up on each other and making out accordingly and caring about each other, and going out on dates. And all the other things needed, but didn't get from my Past toxic relationships that were imbalanced on the romantic, soft and vulnerable intimacy parts.

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you-can-find-me-in-the-library · 7 years ago

Text

Blood, Guts, and Gummy Bears: A Fake AH Crew Origin Story

Summary: When Geoff left home at the age of 18, he didn't expect to find a family. But as he quickly learns, life may not always give what you want, but you'll always wind up with exactly what you need.

Word Count: 1589

Read it on Ao3!

Chapter 1: Jack and the Bus Station

Geoff Ramsey had been on his own since the day he turned 18, leaving home with nothing more than a pair of jeans, two shirts, a hoodie, $17, and a 52 pack of gummy bears.

Really, it’s amazing he didn’t fucking die.

The reason he left home so young hardly matters now; an explosive fight about his future led to him storming out with whatever his hands could reach, halfway across town before he realized he had no goddamn plan on where he was going to go now that he was self-proclaimed independent.

He often leaves the part of the story out where he has a panic attack outside of a 7/11 because he’s got less than 20 bucks and 52 fucking packs of candy to keep him alive.

Most times, he skips to where he walks and walks and walks; walks until his legs are sore, the moon is out, and his eyes are so tired he can hardly keep them open. He’s left his hometown, for sure, and stumbled into another smaller pocket of rural Alabama. It’s been awhile since he’s seen anything that even remotely resembles a public building, and he’s starting to lose hope, until he finally spots some neon in a window. Although his vision has blurred from exhaustion, he doesn’t miss the dimly lit sign on a run-down building letting him know he’s found a bus station. Practically stumbling, he makes his way over, praying he can find a cheap ticket anywhere with enough left over for at least one meal.

Geoff pushes against the door with his shoulder, the rest of his energy draining away as the exertion finally catches up. The sticky summer humidity was forgotten here; a central cooling system hummed quietly from somewhere in the ceiling, shaking off some of the drowsiness as his body temperature lowers. Fluorescent lights flicker above, bouncing their reflections off the white tiling on the floor brightly enough to induce a headache. To the left, there’s a vending machine half full with stale chips and flat sodas. To the right, there’s a couch that looks like it was hauled right from 1965, moth-bitten and all. The counters are straight ahead from where he walked in. There’s three total, but only one is open. Geoff really couldn’t blame them for keeping as few people on the graveyard shift as possible, especially at 12:30 on a Tuesday morning.

But it is here that Geoff learns that sometimes, extraordinary things can happen in the most mundane places.

It’s here that he meets Jack.

She’s arguing with the lone man at the counter about a ticket. Looking back on it now, Geoff should have seen this as the most epic foreshadowing God had ever thrown down into his face, but that’s the thing about shit like that; you can only see it once you’ve finished the whole damn story. And as far as he’s concerned, meeting Jack was chapter one.

She’s wearing a Hawaiian shirt, most likely tied up in the front due to the exposed skin of her lower back. She’s got on khaki shorts and a pair of beat up converse, her red hair tied up out of her face. She keeps tapping the ticket on the counter in front of her, head cocked slightly to the side.

“My ticket says 12:45 am, Tuesday, June 10th. I called the company, and they told me that this was where I was supposed to go to catch the bus. How exactly can there not be a bus leaving at this time when I’m holding a ticket for that bus?”

Geoff is fairly certain this is the first time he’s ever fallen in love with someone with their back to him.

He sits on the couch and fiddles with his jeans, noticing the rips in the knees are a bit larger than he remembers. His earlier gas station panic begins to set in as his stomach growls, reaching into his backpack for a package of gummy bears as he listens to the girl bitch out the counter guy, who finally manages to speak.

“Listen, ma'am, I’m sorry, but as far as I’m aware there are no busses leaving for Dallas until early tomorrow morning.”

“Isn’t there anywhere you can check? Anyone you can call?”

The girl sounds exasperated. Judging by the tone of her voice, she can’t be too much older than Geoff, but what the hell does he know? He’s just run away from home. He’s not really in the place to be judging others.

The guy behind the counter sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose from underneath his glasses. From across the room, Geoff can see grey hairs starting at the dudes temples; he’d been doing this a long time, and he doubted that he’d ever had someone as difficult as this girl in a Hawaiian shirt demanding for her bus that may or may not exist. He seemed to agree to her request, and he turns to a computer so old, he can almost hear the dial-up chugging along.

Geoff had been so focused on the guy behind the counter that when the redhead moved away, he didn’t notice until she was sat right beside him.

“Hey. Got some to spare?”

Geoff blinked at the sudden conversation he was having, yanking him into the present. Oh, shit. He nodded dumbly before fishing around in his bag and yanking out one of the gummy bear packs, face flush. The girl smiled at him and sat back, tearing the flimsy plastic open with her teeth.

Geoff was right to feel smitten. The girl was gorgeous.

“My name’s Jack. It’s short for Jacqueline, but I hate that, so you can just call me Jack.” “I’m Geoff.”

“Nice to meet you, Geoff. What brings you here on this fine June evening?”

“I left home. Trying to find somewhere to go.” Geoff knows his voice is uncertain; he didn’t just trust people with personal information, especially some girl he’s just met in a bus station God only knows where. Despite his guarded voice, Jack seems unfazed, throwing a bear into her mouth with a nod.

“Me too! I bought a ticket yesterday for a bus that’s supposed to leave for Dallas in 15 minutes, but the guy can’t find it on the record. He’s gonna run it for me and make sure I wasn’t yanked out of 60 bucks, but until then I have a little time to kill.”

Geoff nodded his head as he chewed on a raspberry gummy bear.

Now, this is the part of the story where Geoff often gets weird looks. And he doesn’t blame them, not at all. If he were listening in on this story, he’d think it was absolutely bonkers that the person could remember the flavor of gummy bear they were eating in a gas station 25 years ago. He really would!

But it was because of Jack, of the way his entire world changed forever in that fucking gas station that he remembered the flavor.

She turned her body to him, head cocked once again to the right. This would become Signature Jack Pattillo ™ , Geoff would come to learn.

“Hey. If you’ve got no plan, do you wanna hop on the bus to Dallas with me? I know how to sneak you on without a ticket, I’ve done it before. Plus, it’ll be somewhere to go, at least for now.”

Geoff’s gut instinct is to say No thanks pretty girl, I’m all set. Pick up the next loser in Dallas for me! But something holds him back. Maybe it’s the inquisitive eyebrow quirk that Jack is giving him. Maybe it’s the guy behind the counter making a noise that sounds a lot like “holy shit there’s actually a leaving for Dallas”. Maybe it’s the idea of getting to rest in a bus for several hours, kicking his tired feet up and getting some damn rest.

Or maybe it’s the prospect of having an actual plan

Geoff wasn’t about to hike his ass back to his mother, tail between his legs, and apologize after being gone for only a few hours. He wanted to succeed, he wanted to figure his life out without her down his neck about the choices he should or should not be making. He focused on Jack again, on her light smile, and decided that if God was going to give him an option to make this work, this would be it.

Fuck it.

“Sure,” he found himself saying, Jack’s face splitting into a wide smile. He smiles back.

Sometimes, when he thought back to that moment in time, he can almost swear there was a little piece of life falling into place. Jack insists it was that Dallas bus, which did end up coming at 12:45 on the dot, but Geoff isn’t so sure. He’s heard busses, trains, taxis, trucks, and just about any other vehicle that could have made a noise like that.

A soft little click, just in the back of his brain.

At the time, he didn’t really have the chance to ponder on it; Jack was grabbing at his hand and insisting that they needed a gameplan to get two people onto the bus with one ticket, and fast. He pushed aside the noise and nodded his head, watching her hands fly as her brain worked at seventy miles an hour.

He smiles to himself, wondering how long it will be before they have to part ways.

They don’t.

#fake ah crew #Achievement Hunter #geoff ramsey #Jack Pattillo #micheal jones #Gavin Free #jeremy dooley #blood guts and gummy bears

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ah17hh · 4 years ago

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My 69 favorite copy-pastas... nice via /r/emojipasta

My 69 favorite copy-pastas... nice

Look 👀 for 4️⃣ the 💁‍♀️gummy 😽 bear 🐻 album ✒️in 🎈 stores 🏬 on 🚘 November 🏗 13th 🥨 with 🍠 lots 🌪 of 🐉 music 🎶 videos 📢 and ➕ extras 💰

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Where😏oh👀where🐸is🤩our😉little👺Nina✨where😔has👁our👩🏻‍Nina ❤️gone❔Böœ👻🙈🙈

ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞 ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞 ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞 ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞

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spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿

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are😻you👉👤are😡you👉👤coming🏃to🧚the🤙tré🌲they😳strung🍑up⬆️A🔮man👨they✨say🗣who👄murdered🔪three👨‍👩‍👦

How it chews to gum five feels✨ Gum Gum😍😍 Sense your stimulate😳😩

✨kôœræpįkå✨

💕😜bungee🍬gum🤩🤪has✨the💯📏properties🏫🍭of😻both✌rubber⭐and💧gum🍬

𝔁𝓾𝓮✨𝓱𝓾𝓪🧚‍♀️𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸😻𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸🗿𝓫𝓮𝓲👺𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓰🤩𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸😼𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸👣

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it’s😌jesus✝️say🗣hello👋jesus✝️B̷̻̄Ö̸̤͙͚̰̈́A̷̹͊̓Ḩ̸̥̼̥̅̈H̶̗̯͇ yeah😏, city🏬! Sity won🏅, shity too🌚, city treee🌲, city for🐚, city fye🔥, I never stanky bye🙋🏿‍♀️! Yeah🚼 heyyyyy! 😫

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THIS 😌 SCHOOL 🙉 IS 👀 MINE 😡 I 🗿 AM ✨ THE 😍 KING 👑 KOKICHI 🐭 OUMA↪️

I😏will👨🏽‍✈️sacrifice✈️my⚔️own🥄life⚰️for😈Pakistan🇵🇰🍇🔫

chicken 🐓 wing chicken 🐓🐣 wing hotdog and baloney chicken 🐓 and 😈 macaroni chillin ❄❄ with 💘 my 😋😎 homies 🏾

🙅‍♀️ Frick meat lovers 🙅‍♀️😡🚫 All my homies 👯‍♂️ eat the grass 😩 from the central plains 😝😏🌿🌱

I 👈 put 😏 my 🌠😤 😫🧀 right 🏿🙀 👌 foot 👞👣 in 🚪😋 and 😲 🚨🤷 take my right ✔ ✅ foot 👞 out 🅱🤔 🏎 then 😝👱 😥 put 🔥🏻 my 👧 👖🗼 left 🍒 🍒👈 foot in and 🏿✊ shake 🤝🤝 🤝 it 💯😩 all 🥜💯 💯 about. 💦💦

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🌽come🌽today🌽and🌽get🌽some🌽Ć̷̭͚̟̱́ö̷̺̻̙͔́̄͑̚͜r̵̢̢̲̖͍̊̏̎̄n̵̡̧̹̥͖͘🌽or🌽we🌽will🌽sacrifice🌽your🌽n̴̡̪̈́̆͝͝ę̵̠̝̣̒́w̷̧͔̓͝ḅ̴̳̍̀͑o̷̯͈͔̽ŕ̷̡͇̦̯́n̷̝̦

my✨vâğîñå💕is🦋named🗿řōńàłð💋and🐬theres😹nothing😼you👋🏽can👁️do👂about🧚‍♀️it

bəąňß✨bəąňß🌞bəąňß⭕️bəąňß👣bəąňß😳bəąňß💕bəąňß❌bəąňß⛽️bəąňß☁bəąňß🥌bəąňß🖲

Ever 😆see 😱 me 👊 fighting 👍🏾in 💖a 🍯Forest🌲with✌🏾a 😠 grizzly🐻Bear? 👄HELP 💔THE😔BEAR💯

ӨЦΛΛΛΛ 🗿 Λ Λ Λ Λ Λ 🗿 ӨЦΛΛΛΛ 🗿 Λ Λ Λ Λ Λ 🗿 ӨЦΛΛΛΛ 🗿 Λ Λ Λ Λ Λ 🗿

oh 😮 geez 🙊 what 😟 a 🧚‍♀️steep 📉 hill 🏞 i👀 sure 🤖 hope 🙏🏼 i 🌱 dont 🚫 drop 💨 my 🤭 beans 🥫 woah 🤯 aragahha 😖 my ☠️ beannns 😫

I 😌 was 🤡 a 🤨 girl 👩 in✨a 🏠 village😑doin🤓alright 😳 then 😵 i 👹 became 👀 a 🧚‍♀️ princess 👑 overnight 😴

the 👄 name 🙈 game 👩 JUDY👾 judy🌶 judy💞bo 🎶 budy 🎵 boanna 💅 fanna💋fo🎂fudy🌈fe🌂

👽⟟⏁⋉⟒👽⟒⋔⍜⊑👽⍀⏃⏁⏃⌿⏃⍀⏃⟒👽⎅⍜⍀⟟⋔⟒👽⏃⋔⎍⋔⎍👽⏃⋔⟒⋏⍜👽⍀⏃⏁⟒⎅⏃⟒👽⌰⏃⏁⟒⟒⎅⏃⟒👽⋔⍜⟒👽⎅⍜⍀⟟⋔⟒👽⏃⋔⟒⋏⍜👽⍜⌰⋔⟒⋏⏃👽⎅⟒⌿⏃⎅⏃⍀⟟👽⏃⋔⟒⋏⍜👽 ⎅⟟⋔⟒⎅⏃⟒👽

säçrįfïćë👹säćrîfįčé👹sáćrįfîčé👹sàčrìfîçë👹 sâćrìfïčê👹sâçrīfïçë👹sâćrìfįčê👹säçrîfįćę👹

yæw 💕 yãêw ✨ yàáw 😻 yaw 👁 yãēw 🗿 yåėw 😬 yąęw 💅 yæ 🚿

this😚is😿the👄best🤪burrito🌯i’ve🤩ever♦️eaten💞yum🔓yum🗿yum😢

I 😳 don’t 💕 see😌 how 👁 you 👽 can🤦‍♂️hate 😜 from🧚‍♀️my ✨ side👄 of 🖤 the😈 club😹 you 🗣 cant👅 even 💅 get 🕴🏽in 💞 💁‍♀️

ÿoú tákë thę mœn🌚ÿøū👁takê thė šüń🌝yōu täkè 𝖾⋁𝖾𝖗𐒦tꜧĺ𝛈𝚐✨thät sèе𝙢Ꚃ lïkè 𝗳𝑢በ😹ÝƯ ştΐṛ〰️ï𝙩 𝐚ʟʟ ƯᎮ án ｗꜧ𝚎ņ🕑ÝỨṛ𝚎 ᵭņ𝚎 ṛᥲԂԂᥲ😝ṛṛᥲԂԂa

Hi, 🤚 you're on a rock 🗿 floating in space. 🌖 pretty cool, 😎👍 huh? 😕❔ some of it's water. 🤽‍♂️ fuck it. 🚮 actually, most of it's water 💦 ⛲ i 😀 can't even 🌒 get 🉐 from here 📍 to there without buying 🛍 a boat. ⛴⚓ it's sad. 🙍 i'm sad. 🙁😭 I miss you.

its 😔 gluten 💡 free 😰 ion 🤬 care 🤖 if its 👎 free 🎁 swear 👁 on ur 👱‍♀️fucking 𝙔𝙀𝙀𝙕𝙔𝙎 ⛸⛸ if you 👤 wanna fight 🤬 we🙎 gon 👄fight 👎🏽you 🦁 tryna 😠 be 🐝 on worldstar ⭐️ what ⁉️ you ✊ gonna 📹 record 🤳 it 🙊 yea 😼 i got🚶‍♂️ my 🙇 dollar 💵 store 🏬 camera 📸 *on* ✅ 𝙒𝙃𝘼𝙏𝙎 👀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 👁𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉 😼 𝙎𝙄𝙏𝙐𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙉𝙉 ✨✨the 😼 fuck 🤬 do 👏 you 👿 want ⁉️im ⭐️ the 🚶‍♂️ motherfuckin💎M̸̦͔̜̖̳̼͚̱͚̮͍̱̘̰̲͂̃̚A̴̧̢̮̫̼̟̳̭̩̪̟̾̋́̌̀̔͐͒̔̾͗̚͜͝͝N̴̫̭͇̹̍́̾̿͒̈́́̄̏A̵͚͓̥̿̍͊͛̎̂̀̀͠͠Ǵ̴̖̭̭̺̣̭̺̈́̅̏́̓͜ͅÈ̷́͠R̶̖͈͈͐͜❗️❗️at the 💢 bread 🍞 store ❓𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿 tell 🤖 him 🗣 to take 👌 the 😾 motherfuckin 🤡 gluten 😷 𝙤𝙪𝙩 🙅‍♀️ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿 🥖 imma 🧚 need 🤚 you 👶 to shut 🔇 that 💪 bullshit 👄 up 👆 chief 💂‍♀️ we 👬 cant 🙅 take 👌 shit out 👾 the 😷 bread 🍞 why❓ put 👿 it in 🤲 in 👁 the 👅 first 1️⃣ place🚪 i 🧑‍🎨 know 🧠 yall 💢 𝙨𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣 🚬 that 👉 𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙠 💅

A🌑 duck walked🚤👳🏽 up↪️ to📵 a🍉 lemonade stand And💘 he📮 said🏰👸🏼 to📰 the man,👏🏻 running🐖 the👋🏿💿💕 stand "Hey! (Bum🚵🏼 bum🎓 bum)💦 Got😁 any🕗🆖 grapes?" The👦🏻✔️👲🏼 man⏫ said "No😪 we📂 just🚥 sell🐣 lemonade. But👨‍👨‍👦‍👦📀 it's cold And👧🏾🔣 it's👌 fresh And🔳🌕🚿👆🏾 it's all home-made.🙆🏽🛀 Can🍍 I get🚥📅 you Glass?" The duck said, "I'll👣 pass". Then👃🏻 he waddled👵🏻 away. (Waddle🌂 waddle) 'Til😢👒 the💂🏻😐🙅🏿 very📍 next��️ day. (Bum bum bum👳🏾😇 bum👮🏿🌜 ba-bada-dum)🕐👮🏽

Shawty’s💖✨like🌟😌a⌛️👑✨melody💞🎀🌟 🪐That💫 I 🌏can't 🌍keep 🌵out 🌟Got 🌟me ✨singin' ⚡️like⚡️ 🔥Na na na na 🔥everyday🌪 It's🌈 like ☀️my 💫iPod ❄️stuck 🏚on 🤠replay, 🤤replay-ay-ay-ay🦁 Shawty's🤤 like 🤖a 🤑melody 😻in 😽my 🤲head🧠 That 🤚I 💢can't 💋keep 💄out👀 Got 🤙me 🙏singin' 🙏like👅 Na na na na 💄everyday💋 ⌚It's 💎like 💪my 📱iPod 👋stuck 👋on 🖖replay, 🤚Deluga 🤘Heights (replay) 🤟Hey ✊🏾over 👏and 🤝over 👐o_O ||if 👁I'm 🆓tipsy🔰 or ♻️sober💯 I 💖got ❤️lil' 💔momma💗 on 💝rewind❣️like the ❤️deck 👥in 😻my 😺Rover 👾On 💀my 🤑mind, 🗿shawty☁ fine, 😯meditate 🤒her 👩 like 🧘‍♀️ 🤒So 🤕down 🤐on 😵the 🙄line 😤make 👉me 👈want 👍🏾a 😈cold 👹soda👺 👻Hey 👽baby 🤡be 🤤my 😈radio 📻 😶Hear👂you ✨ everywhere 😏I 😉go 🙂Music 👩‍❤️‍👨in 😇my 😚head🤪 🤨Know 😋your 🤪melody 🤩in 😔every 😭note😏 Girl 😍you 😍incredible😚 🤪Make 🤩yourself 🗿available😏Na na na na🤪 😘That 🎶tune 😚so 😊exceptional☺️ 😍Smexy 😍like 💗a 😚piano 👸give 💥you ♉️my 👩🏿‍✋ hands 👀if ✊🏾you're 😈ready💀 ✨We 😜can 😀make 🙃plans😚 get🗿 body 😋stand😍 if ✊🏾you let ☄️me😩 Girl I'm a…😳

Shawty 👄 had 👉 them 💯 apple 🍎 bottom 🔽 jeans 👖 boots 👢 with *️⃣ the 🔟 fur 🐈 (with *️⃣ the 🔟 fur 🐈) got 🐲 the 🔟 whole 🙄 club 💒 looking 👀 at ☮️ her 👠 she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽 (she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽) next 👉 thing ♈️ you 👤 shawty 👄 got 👣 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽low 🔽 them 🦮 baggy 👜 sweatpants 🩳 and ➕ the 👁‍🗨 Reeboks 👟 with ➕ the 🎶 straps ↩️ (with ➕ the 🎶 straps ↩️) she 💃 turned 😛around ↩️ and 👊 gave ✌️ that 👁 big 🥵booty 🍑 a 🌶 smack ✨ she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽 (she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽) next 👉 thing ♈️ you 👤 shawty 👄 got 👣 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽low 🔽

Today 📅 my 12 😣🕛 year 📅 old 👴 son 👦 and I 👥 walked 🚶 into harvard 👩‍🎓 to sign 🚧 him 👴 up ☝ for college 🚌📚. The dean rudly asked ❓ what a 12 😣🕛 year 🗓 old 👴 was doing signing 🖊 up ⬆ for such a prestigious 🎖🏆 institute like 👍 harvard 👩‍🎓. My son 🙎‍♂️ took 👫 of to reveal 💡 his 🤦 Rick 👨🏻‍🔬 and Morty 😡😵 shirt 👕 and proclaimed "Well 🖕🖕🏻🖕🏿 you 👆 see 👁 sir 🤔 I 👁 watch 👁 Rick 🥒 and Morty 😡😵". A look 👀 of confusion ❓🤔 came 💦 over 😳🙊💦 the deans face 😀 and I 👁 have never 🚫 been so proud 😤. The dean quickly ⚡ made 👉 sure 💯 to appologize to my son 👦 but 👆🍑👀 it was too late 💤, the police 👮‍♂️ rushed 🏃‍♂️ in and dragged him 👨🏾 out. My son 👦 passed 📆 all 🙌 his 🤦 classes 📒 with 4.0s and graduated 🔝 top 🔝 of his 🤦 class 📒 in the first 🥇 day 📅 of college 🏘👱📚.

Number🔢 1️⃣5️⃣: 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 foot👣 lettuce🥗. The last🥉 thing you'd👉 want in👇 your👉 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 🅱️urger🍔 is someone's👤 foot👣 fu🆖us🤢🤮. 🅱️ut🍑 as🍑 it turns↩️ out, that might 🅱️e what you👉 get. A 4️⃣channer🍀👤 uploaded a 🅿️hoto📷📸 🅰️nonymously👤❓ to the site showcasing his🚹 feet👣 in👇 a 🅿️lastic bin🚮 of lettuce🥗🤮. With the statement🗣: "This👇 is the lettuce🥗 you👉 eat 🅰️t 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴."😱😱 🅰️dmittedly, he🚹 had shoes👣👟 on. But🍑 that's even🤭 worse😱😷. The 🅿️ost went live at 1️⃣1️⃣:3️⃣8️⃣ PM on July🎆🎇 1️⃣6️⃣, and a mere 2️⃣0️⃣ minutes🕤 later, the 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 in👇 question❓ was 🅰️lerted👂 to the rogue👤 employee👤. At least, I👁 hope he's🚹 rogue. How😨 did it🤔 happen🧐🧐? Well, the 🅱️K🍔🤴 employee👤 hadn't🚫 removed❌ the Exif data🤓 from the uploaded photo📷📸, which suggested👀 the culprit👤 was somewhere in👇 Mayfield Heights, Ohio🇺🇸. This was 🅰️t 1️⃣1️⃣:4️⃣7️⃣. 3️⃣ minutes later🕘 at 1️⃣1️⃣:5️⃣0️⃣, the 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 branch🌳 address📭🏠 was 🅿️osted with wishes🙏 of happy😄😁 unemployment😨😰. 5️⃣ minutes later🕚, the news stati🔛 was contacted🗣📞 🅱️y 🅰️nother 4️⃣channer👤🍀. And 3️⃣ minutes🕒 later, at 1️⃣1️⃣:5️⃣8️⃣, a link was 🅿️osted: 🅱️K's🍔🤴 "Tell us 🆎out us" online🌐 forum. The foot👣 🅿️hoto📷📸, otherwise known as🍑 exhibit 🅰️, was 🅰️ttached. Cleveland🇺🇸 Scene Maga🇺🇸zine contacted🗣☎️ the 🅱️K🍔🤴 in👇 question🤔❓ the next⏩ day🌞. When questioned🤔❓🧐, the breakfast🌞🍽 shift manager🧔 said "Oh, I👁 know😱 who🤔 that is. He's🚹 getti🆖 fired💥🔫🔥." Mystery🧐 solved👍, 🅱️y 4️⃣chan🍀👥. Now we👥 can🛢 all go 🔙 to2️⃣ eati🆖🍽 our fast🏃‍♂️💨 food🍔🍟🥤 in👇 🅿️eace☮️😀😃😁👍.

im 😂 not gonna 😻 show 👈📺 you 🤙 🤖 the 🍁🌷 facts 📚 📚 and 👏👏 💰 the 👑⚕ 🏽 evidence 📰 🔨📃 beacuse im 😂 😂😂 29 fucking ♀😡 🎮 years 📅📅 old 🍆 and 💻 🌬 in 👄📥 not ⚠🤚 gonna ♂ sit down ⬇👇 and ➕👏 💰 make 💰 🖕 a video ♀📹 📹📸 with 👏👈 👩😫 screenshots exposing 👐 👐 my bullies 😎🖕 🖕😎 these 🈴 💁🚟 are 🏾 👏🏼 bullies these 🤤 are 🏿 highschool fucking 🙏 bullies and 🍀 👏📡 they 👥 👈 wanna 🙇❤ come at 😍👸 👅 me ❓ 📩✌ and 👏🍞 🅱🏼 say 😅🚃 ✋ your ⬅ 👏👏 29 years 📅 old how 👏⚖ your 🍆🏻 👉 acting fuck 😤👦 🍆 you 👆 your 🍆 🙄 in 👏 〽 your 😩 fucking 👉🍆 30s almost 😲 👀😲 all 💯 of 💦📆 😤 you 😤 😘👆 attacking ♂ ♂ me 🏿😭 👈 and 👏😵 😭 im 👌 👌 not ♂🚫 saying 🗣😡 a fucking 👉 work 🏢 🔨 to 🙅 💦 anybody and 👏 👏🙏 your 💯👉 going to 💦 👆💰 say 🤐 🏿 im 👀 😂🏻 panting myself 🔪 👩🐱 as the 🔝👏 🕘⚕ victim and 👏💦 im 👌😂 trying 😔 to ask 🤗😩 😥🙋 for 💰👨 attention i 😂👀 have 👏🏋 😤💰 not 🚫🙅 said 💖 😑 a 👌😂 fucking 😛💞 👈 word 🔚🔚 ✊ publicly until 💦 🅱 another 👯👣 video 🎥 📹 was ☠ 💯👏 made 💰😶 👆 about me 😩👤 the 👏 🅱👏 week 📅 ❗😱 i was 👏👏 👏 putting 💯💯 out 💰▶ 🏼🏍 my 👨 fucking EP you 👉💬 😭👧 wanna ❤ 😻🏿 ghost 👻👻 👻👻 the 🕸 internet 🌐💻 for 😎🍆 five 🕔 fucking ➡ months 🏽 and ✝ im 😂 promoting ↗ my 😩 😘 project ↗ like 😏❤ 😄 crazy and 😇👏 ➕👏 your 👏 ☝ gonna 👏🅱 🔥 put 😏 my 👨 name 📛 in your fucking 🎮😫 🖕🍑 thumbnail bringing up ❤✋ a 🅰💰 🏠 fucking 🚟 ➡ dramatic lie 💬❎ ❎😱 a hate 💯💯 campaign that 🦃 🔪 you fucking started 😁 🙄 5 👪 🛐 months ✌📆 🙄🏽 you 🏻👏 dont 😡🙅 👀 post 🏾📌 🗒🙄 but 🤤 💏🍑 im 👌🅱 posting a 💰☝ 💰 project ⬆⬅ ⬅⬆ and 👏👏 you 🤖🅱 have 💪👏 👏 to say 🗣🗣

You 👆 useless 👩🏻 piece 🗿 of shit 💩. You 👆 absolute 💯 waste 😵 of space ⭐⚫ and air 🌬. You 👆 uneducated, ignorant 👌, idiotic 😜 dumb 🤪 swine 🐽😂, you’re an absolute 💯 embarrassment 😣 to humanity 🕴 and all 🤠 life 💓 as a whole 🕳. The magnitude 🔍 of your 👉 failure 👎🏽 just now is so indescribably massive 🐘 that one ☝🏻 hundred 💯 years 📅 into the future 👨🏼 your 👉🏿 name 🏷 will be used ♦ as moniker of evil 😈 for heretics. Even 🌃 if all 💪 of humanity 🕴 put 👏 together 👮‍♂️🐕 their collective intelligence 🧐 there is no 🚫 conceivable way ↕ they could have thought 🤔 up ☝ a way ↕ to fuck 🤬 up ⬆ on the unimaginable scale ⚖ you 👉🏻 just did

How 🤷🏻 ba-a-a-ad 🤡👺👹 can 🛢 I 👉👁👄👁 be? 🐝🐝I'm 💁🏻‍♂️just🤷🏻doin'🙆🏻‍♂️what comes ☀️🌈✨𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎✨🌈☀️How💁🏻‍♂️ba-a-a-ad🤡👺👹can🛢I 👉🤡be? 🐝🐝 I'm💁🏻‍♂️just 🤷🏻following👉➡️➡️my ➡️➡️🎀 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝓎 🎀 How🤷🏻ba-a-a-ad🤡👺👹can🛢I👉🏿be? 🐝🐝 I'm💁🏻‍♂️just🤷🏻doin'🙆🏻‍♂️what comes ☀️🌈✨ 𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 ✨🌈☀️ How🤷🏻ba-a-a-ad 🤡👺👹 can🛢I👉👹be? 🐝🐝How 🤷🏻💁🏻‍♂️bad🥵👺💁🏻‍♂️can🛢💁🏻‍♂️I 💁🏻‍♂️possibly🙋🏻‍♂️be?💁🏻‍♂️🐝🐝Well, 🤷🏻 there's a principal 💡⏳of nature 🙈🙉🙊(principal of nature) 🗣👥🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻That almost👌every 🐶🐱🐭🐮 creature🐹🐰🐯🐸 knows💡💡Called survival🏋🏻🤸🏻‍♀️of the fittest💪🏻💪🏾 (survival of the fittest) 🗣👥🙋🏻‍♂️ 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻And check✅it ➡️this is how it goes🚶🏻🚶🏻‍♀️The animal🙈🙉🙊that eats🍌gotta🤼 scratch🏋️and 👄bite 🦁and💪punch🤼And the🐷🐨animal🐥🦇 that doesn't, well the 🐼🦁animal🦉🐙that doesn't, winds🔁 up🆙⬆️Someone else's 💁🏻‍♂️💁🏽‍♂️💁🏿‍♂️🙋🏻🙋🏼🙋🏽🙋🏾‍♀️lu-🍔lu-🥙lu-🌮lu-🥪lunch!🍱(Munch Munch Munch Munch Munch👁👅👁) 🗣👥🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻I'm just saying'...💁🏻‍♂️

𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼🌙a 🙄𝘣𝘶𝘻𝘻🐝𝘣𝘶𝘻𝘻🤣 ｂｕｚｚ✨ïṅ 😨m̸e̸a̸d̸o̸w̸🤷🏻‍♀️t⃨h⃨e⃨r⃨e⃨s⃨👾ᗩ😈ꌃꀎꁴꁴ💩 🐝乃ㄩ乙乙😂【b】【u】【z】【z】💕 b̆̈ŭ̈z̆̈z̆̈🌹the 😅 ፕዪቿ̂🌳Շɦεɼεร😣a 🤯b̶u̶z̶z̶👽 b̠u̠z̠z̠🤖 ḃu̇żż👻ᏰᏬፚፚ 💀in 👃the😷 ᶠˡᵒʷᵉʳˢ🌺ꅐꏂꋪꏂ😹so 🤟乃ㄩ丂ㄚ🗣 b̑̈ȇ̈ȋ̈n̑̈g̑̈👓᥇ꪊɀɀꪊꪗ🥽b͛e͛e͛z͛ 👁ẇєяє👄ɓմςςψ 🗿ℬUℤℤℐℕᎶ🌿with🐚♭ṳℨℨ♭ḙḙ✺🥓bͦͯuͦͯzͦͯzͦͯbͦͯeͦͯeͦͯ🌍is 🌟b˟˚u˟˚s˟˚y˟˚🎰with 🧠m͙e͙🐽Ᏺᾀᑬᑬẙ😀 as 😉a સଇกกϓ Ъ૯૯🍯 can 🙇‍♂️be🧚🏻 w̤̮e̤̮r̤̮e̤̮🦷βUSΨ😴b̾u̾z̾z̾i̾n̾g̾🤐with 🤡b⃠u⃠z⃠z⃠b⃠e⃠e⃠👺 t̺͆h̺͆e̺͆🎃ṧ✺ℵ🌞!✘a͎l͎w͎a͎y͎s͎🦄s͜͡h͜͡i͜͡n͜͡i͜͡n͜͡g͜͡👨‍🦳🄸🅃🅂🧒great😖t̶o̶😪b͟e͟👐🏻ḁͦl̥ͦi̥ͦv̥ͦe̥ͦ🔪 ሠዘቿክ💄you’re ♭ʊʐʐ😻βUZZ😮ℬʉᏃᏃ🐣乃∪乙乙🥶Ъμｚｚ😸b˟˚u˟˚z˟˚z˟˚i˟˚n˟˚g˟˚🤬ᏜᎥʈ⋆🤧ЪμｚｚЪ૯૯🤔i͓̽n͓̽🚀Ꮖℋℰ👱🏻‍♀️ʰⁱᵛᵉ🍟

I 👁 don't 🚫👎 know 💭 what 😂 I 💰💰 was 👏👏 thinking 🤔 Leaving 🚪🍃 my 👨🌭 child 👾 behind 👟☢ Now 🎅🙅 I suffer 😱😤 the 👏🔝 curse ⛓ Knowing 💭🤔 now 😭🤗 I 🤠 am blind With all 👩😩 this anger, 😡 guilt and sadness Coming 🏻🏃 to 😷 haunt me 👸 forever 🕜 I can't 🔫 wait for the cliff 💦 at 🗽 the end of 💦 the 🦉👑 river Is 😤 this revenge I am seeking Or seeking someone 👥👤 to 💦 avenge me Stuck in 〽👏 my 🏻 own 😎🏻 paradox I 👀👨 wanna ♀ set ➿ myself free Maybe I 😏 should 👑 chase and 👏 find 🔦 Before they'll 👧 try 😐 to 💦 stop ⛔ it 💯 It won't be 🍆💚 long before 🐝🔙 I'll 😩 become 🏽 a 🆒 puppet It's been 🥜 so long 🔨 Since I last have seen 👁 my ♂ son 👦 Lost to 💰 this monster 👹 To 🍅 the 🍁 man ♂ behind the slaughter Since you've been 📹 gone 😠😡 I've been 🚟👦 singing this 🏿 stupid song 🎵🎤 So I 👨 could 👌✊ ponder The 😫 sanity of 💦🔴 your mother I 👟👏 wish 😢😢 I 💯😎 lived in 👉 the 👏😈 present With the 😫👏 gift 🍆 of 🚋🤔 my 💋🤔 past mistakes But the 🌜 future 💞 keeps luring in ❤🍆 like 👏💖 a pack of snakes Your 🙄👉 sweet 🍬 little 🐭 eyes 👀👀 Your 👨👉 little 🏽 smile, ⭐😁 is 💦 all I 🏻 remember Those fuzzy memories mess with 👌 my temper Justification is killing me But killing 🔪 isn't justified What happened 🤔🤔 to 💯♀ my 💝 son, ♂👦 I'm terrified 😲😲 It 😳 lingers in 👇 my 💩💪 mind And 🌰👏 the 🏻 thought 🤔🤔 keeps on getting 💦 bigger I'm 😻 sorry my 👬 sweet 🍬 baby 👦👶 I 👀♂ wish I've 🏾😭 been there 💦✔ It's 😠🍝 been ✊😎 so 😮 long 🕑📏 Since 💦💦 I 🤔🙋 last 🕞❗ have 😑 seen 👀👁 my 😤 son 🏻👦 Lost 🍆 to 💦 this monster 👹👹 To 😉 the 👏👏 man 💂 behind ↩ the 😂🚗 slaughter Since 💦💦 you've been 🤤😎 gone 😭 I've 😠 been 👑 singing 👩 this 💋 stupid song 🎵🎵 So I could 🚫 ponder The sanity of your mother

What the 🅾🔪 fuck 👌🍑 did 🌼 you 👏👉 just 👏 fucking 🏻⚔ say 🗣🎙 about ✨💦 me, you 👧💦 little 🍑😫 bitch? 🐩☘ I'll 💵🤢 have you know 👏 I 💬♀ graduated 💯 top 👚🔼 of my 🖥👌 class 🥇😛 in 🏢 the 👏 Navy Seals, and I've been 🥜💫 involved in ⏳ numerous secret raids 👈👤 on Al-Quaeda, 🍒🅾 and 💰🌈 I 💰👁 have 🎁 over 😈♂ 300 confirmed kills. ☠ I am trained 🏻🏻 in gorilla warfare 💣 and I'm 🚫 the 😱 top 🔝🔼 sniper in the 👩 entire 😂🏼 US armed forces. 🍆 You are 🏃 nothing to 🅱🗝 me but just 👏 another 🔁 target. I 👁👣 will 🅱💰 wipe 🤤 you 😤😑 the 👏 fuck 🏻 out 🍻 with 👏😏 precision the 🌫😫 likes of which 👏 has 👏 never 😤 been 📷👏 seen 👁 before ⬅💰 on 🤤 this 👈 Earth, 🌎🌎 mark ✌ my 👯🕶 fucking ➡👉 words. You ❌❤ think 😠🤔 you 👈 can 💦 get away with 👩👏 saying 💬🗣 that shit 👌👻 to ✌🅱 me over the Internet? 🌐 Think again, fucker. ➡ As 🍑🍑 we 🏼🤝 speak I 👀👈 am contacting 📞👈 my 😽 secret 😱😱 network of spies across 👉 the 📉 USA 💖 and 🥁 your 👉👉 IP is 👉💦 being traced 📈 right ❤ now 👋 so 😴 you better 🤔😚 prepare 👉 for the 👏🎆 storm, maggot. The storm 🌀 that 🍆👏 wipes out the 👌🔥 pathetic 😂👋 little 👩 thing you call 📱 your life. You're 👈 fucking 💯 dead, 🔥😂 kid. 😎👶 I 👁👁 can 💦 be anywhere, anytime, 👉💵 and ♂😫 I 👏 can 🔫🔫 kill 👻🔫 you 😏😏 in ⬅👏 over 😳😈 seven hundred ways, and that's 👆 just with 😉😗 my 👍🆕 bare hands. 👏 Not 👏♀ only 😤 am 👦💦 I 😶 extensively trained 👨🏻 in 💊👇 unarmed combat, 🗡 but I 👩😍 have 😑 access 🔖 to the 👏 entire 👏🙋 arsenal of 👨 the 👍👏 United States 👌 Marine Corps and 📡👏 I will 💦 use it to its full 🈵🌕 extent to wipe your 🏻👏 miserable ass 🍑🍆 off 😡👏 the 👏 face of 💦❤ the continent, 👤 you 👨👈 little 👌 shit. 🎃💖 If 🤥 only you could have known 💫 what 😧 unholy 🙏 retribution your 👏 little 🏼 "clever" comment was about 🎩⭐ to ⚠ bring ➡⬅ down ⬇ upon you, maybe 😿 you ♀ would have 👏 held ✊ your 👈👈 fucking 💯 tongue. 👅 But 🏼 you couldn't, you didn't, 😘 and 💯 now 🎅🔫 you're paying the price, you 🙄🖕 goddamn idiot. I 👁🅱 will 😘 shit 👌 fury 😡😡 all over you 🤓👉 and 💰 you will 👏 drown in it. You're 😊🤖 fucking dead, kiddo. 🔥💲

Submitted September 18, 2020 at 11:56AM by Putins-Uncle via reddit https://ift.tt/2RESOdY

#IFTTT #reddit

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