#i usually chalk it up to being Very Cisgender

[uncanny-tranny]

im legitimately kind of at a loss rn bc i told my cis sister she keeps misgendering people using they/them pronouns and she just sent me an email that says "i don't do that. i have lots of friend who use those pronouns, you must be mistaken" and that's it. like now im questionoing myself! did i hear her wrong???? but it's been going on for ages?? but maybe she's right and im just imaging things? i dunno. its weird. do you ever wind into people/situations like this???

I guess sometimes there are people I've come into contact with who seem genuinely confusing in how they interact with trans people/names/pronouns/terminology... my dad was especially bad about calling cis people "normal" and whatnot.

I am very confused about the reasoning your sister gave, though. That would be like if I used he/him on everybody and when questioned said, "well, I know a ton of people who use he/him, so that's why I'll continue doing it". It's very odd to hear, sometimes, what cis people's thought process is behind gender. Like... they/then pronouns are only neutral to use if you know those are the pronouns somebody uses. It becomes misgendering when you know somebody's pronouns are not they/them, and it's just as inappropriate to use they/them for somebody as it is to use he or she for somebody who uses they/them, y'know?

[abortionado]

Since we’re talking abt she/they Spencer, how do you think they’d/she’d deal with dysphoria/dysmorphia. When did they/she realize it? Do you think they’d/she’d go on estrogen? How would the team or their/her mom react? What struggles does this bring and how does it affect their/her life in a good way.

• I think they’d realize very young that something was different about them, but they’d have a hard time coping with it as a bb :( it’s already so difficult, not having their dad around and their mom being sick, so their self-reflection takes a back burner until they get to college. In college/grad school, they chalk it up to being gay and start living as an openly gay man, and that helps but doesn’t entirely make them feel better :(

I think they’d do a lot of research on human gender and sexuality for their psychology degree, and that’s when they’d actually start to realize what was going on with them.

• As for helping with dysphoria, I think they’d just. Not want to be alone 🥺 They usually identify as a non-binary gay man, in a way (like, they don’t consider themselves a woman, and their sexuality is important to their identity), but sometimes they just want to drop any association with their masculinity and be treated as a pretty, genderless entity (projecting), and I think affirmation & love & spending time with supportive friends would help ease the anxiety about being weird and disgusting and ugly or whatever Spencer worried about

Also: waxing body hair, light makeup, wearing clothes that cover up their Adam’s apple (purple scarf), women’s undergarments, French braiding their hair, feminine scent, etc. Things traditionally associated with the feminine but not overt and loud like wearing skirts or lipstick

• Estrogen: maybe! I think it’d kinda depend on the severity of their dysphoria. If she was super dysphoric and hated being flat-chested and having narrow hips and whatnot, I think she might go on Estrogen to help treat the depression she’d feel from all of that :( but if she wasn’t dysphoric, maybe/maybe not

• Diana would be supportive, I think 🥺 she’d be like “Oh, I always knew something was different about you, Spencer” and pinch their cheek lmfao she doesn’t care

I think the women of the team would be supportive, especially Penelope and Emily. Emily is gay and was a drag king in college, and Penelope is. Penelope, so they’re really cool about the fact that Spence doesn’t want to conform to their traditional role

Derek is a little confused but has the spirit? He doesn’t get it at first, but ultimately Spencer is one of his two favorite people and he’s willing to be there for them no matter what 🥺❤️ I think if any Bastard Cop at like a municipal precinct or whatever was giving them shit, he would corner them and make some vague and nondescript threats

Rossi is definitely an asshole about it but no more of an asshole than he is about everything else. He wouldn’t fly off the handle, he’d just be like “really? It used to just be you were a man or a woman and that was it. Ridiculous. Anyway,”

• Struggles......I think being in a position where they’re extremely androgynous and very much outwardly gay and constantly around, like, army dudes and cops and FBI agents would be. Difficult (Spencer struggles with this in canon as a straight, cisgender man with poor upper body strength shfjskfjsk), and I think they’d have a hard time navigating it and wonder whether they actually belong in this field? But Hotch would reassure them about the fact that they’ll always belong @ BAU, and I think the team would form like an unofficial Spencer Protection Coalition to make sure no one is trying anything dumb

• And!!! Positive effects!!! They’d be so much happier!!!! There’s a time where they look in the mirror after a while of presenting the way they want and possibly HRT and genuinely feel so beautiful and at peace for the first time they can remember :’) they feel so much more confident and so much happier than they ever did growing up. Being happy in their own skin and having a supportive family who loves them is something they never thought they’d have, but 🥺 wow

[heart-holes]

mlm asks under the cut bc im tryna wake myself up to do homework

Are you in a relationship? nooo but i have a boy who i love and whomst loves meee....its complex

Do you have a crush on someone? If you do tell us about them. mhm he’s really smart but about things i dont understand and he’s very kind and goofy and has a voice that melts my hearttt

What’s your ideal boyfriend/enbyfriend? someone who understands me intellectually and can learn to understand me emotionally 

What is your ideal perfect date? april fifteenth because-- no um  i like going for walks in the woods as a date. one of the best dates i’ve ever been on we just went to a junk yard and wandered around and then found a lil spot to sit and make out for a while it was cuuute

Have you ever smooched a boy/enby? oof these are for people much younger than me aren’t they. yes, i have smooched quite a few boys and nonbinary people (but actually no girls, i think?)

If you went on a movie date what movie would you go see? i don’t really like movies tbh, this is like the opposite of my ideal date bc you can’t talk or touch or do other things while you’re watching...

What video games would you play with your boyfriend/enbyfriend? my ex and i played all sorts of things together (planescape torment in particular </3) but right now? i’m not sure. maybe co op games? overcooked? smash? 

Are you a hopeless romantic? no, i’m a very hopeful romantic

Do you daydream a lot about your crush or boyfriend/enbyfriend? yep! im a daydreamer 4 sure

If you were going on a dinner date where would you go? hm...depends on how fancy i’d honestly just prefer to have my boyfriend buy me ingredients and then cook a nice meal 4 him  otherwise maybe kim’s? that’s the cheap korean restaurant near our college lol

Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue? i used to be able to but i’m not sure anymore, i’m out of practice 

Have you been to pride in June? If not would you like to go and if you have gone how was it? yep! been three times, once in high school and twice in college. in high school it was a little weird bc i was really sick, but i was the head of the GSA at the time and it was the first time we’d ever made it 2 pride as a school, so it was a big deal. last year my friend’s ex came along and kind of ruined the day for us lmao. this year we had a GREAT time, we went for one of my friends’ birthdays and it was their first time ever going to pride and being like out-ish in public. i made some chalk art, we took photos, we yelled at the rainbow washing corporations and got to ask a leather dom if we could pet their dog (a person in a fursuit). (they said yes!) 

When did you realize you weren’t straight or cisgender? i’ve been not straight for goddamn ever like, i probably knew i liked girls by the time i was in like sixth or seventh grade. and i remember considering that i was not, myself, a girl, in like...second grade, and then not dealing with it again until high school lmao

Would you consider yourself an affectionate person? to a select few, yeah

What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for someone? ooh, hard to say. i took someone for a middle of the night walk that led us to a river full of frogs once, and we had our second kiss there and i’m sure i’ve made a lot of romantic gestures for various other partners but i’m like, having a hard time remembering them oh one time the junkyard date person and i had a really nice date where we just went and sat in the woods and drew for a while and that was like, really great 

If you had to cook for your partner what would you cook? depends on what they wanted! i’m very good with stir frys, i can make steaks, i can do various kinds of chicken...

Where would you travel with your partner if you two could go anywhere? i don’t have a partner so i dont really know  the boy i’m seeing (TM) has visited finland before so maybe there...

If you wanted to get your partner a gift what would you get them? i like to make art for my partners tbh

Do you write love letters to your partner? i love writing letters in general so yes!

Do you write poetry or songs? not generally For People but yes to both, more poetry than songs

Favorite Lgbt+ movie? i haven’t seen very many of them to be honest...the Favourite was excellent, though! saw that in theaters! 

Favorite Lgbt+ show? also haven’t seen very many of those! lmao degrassi had a trans man on it way the fuck back in the day, but that’s not great representation, nor are renly and ser loras...ya i got nothing  o wait does Moomin count

Favorite Lgbt+ fictional character? slkdfjsldkfj i really cannot think of any of them ser loras of the flowers is deffo up there for me whoops sorry

Favorite Lgbt+ youtuber? skip

Favorite Lgbt+ singer? ryan beatty!

Favorite Lgbt+ meme? lmao it’s moominpapa with a glock

Favorite Lgbt+ book? always gonna b a soft spot in my heart for Annie On My Mind lmao

Favorite Lgbt+ artist? keith haring, dubiously basquiat 

Favorite Lgbt+ celebrity? kevin abstract or kristen stewart 

Favorite Lgbt+ tumblr blog? uhhhh peteseeger

Favorite MLM/NBLM tumblr blog? cowboymlm

Favorite petname(s)? sunshine, baby, daddy lmao 

Favorite date spot? woods

Favorite dessert? really good baklava will drive me insane tiramisu is good too but reminds me too much of my ex

Favorite love song (or favorite song)? favorite love song: a nightingale sang in barkley square favorite song: hm rn it might be...cupid? by ryan beatty 

Favorite thing to wear? my favorite sweatshirt and some black jeans

Favorite animal? frog, probably? 

Favorite type of Milkshake? chocolate! 

Favorite month? september :3 

Favorite mythical animal? hmmm i love me a big foot or a loch ness monster 

Favorite flower? dandelions or marigolds or roses 

Coffee or tea? coffeeeeee 

Sweater or Hoodie? depends! i have a lot more sweaters but i do love hoodies

Fall or Spring? both! 

Winter or Summer? summer, i think

Frozen yogurt or Ice cream? ice cream plsssss

Cuddles or hugs? hmmmm hugs 

Little spoon or big spoon? little spoon unless i am comforting the other person, in which case i am big spoon 

Gazing at the stars with your partner or watching the sunset together? oh both of these sound lovely

Movie theater or park date? PARK

Forehead kisses or kisses on the cheek? cheek kisses are kinda hot forehead kisses are cute 

Sitting on their lap or laying your head down on their lap? laying my head down! pet my hair!!!

Circus date or fair/carnival date? kind of neither tbh but like, i guess fair? 

Strawberries or cherries? ooh hard question. strawberries i think, but i looove cherries also

Peaches or plums? peaches!!!

Matte or glitter? GLITTER

Dunkin Donuts or Krispy Kream? dunkin lmao i’m a northeast boy

Flamboyant or reserved? flamboyant usually, sometimes reserved

Pastel colors or dark colors? neither give me that neon 

Cats or reptiles? B O T H

Doughnuts or Bagels? oooh both. doughnuts maybe a little more tho

Pastel rainbow or regular rainbow? regular rainbow

Cowboy partner or Goth partner? either but i tend to lean a little more toward goths

Yeehaw or be gay do crime? i say both, but i say yeehaw more often

Video games or board games? board games pls god i love a board game

Plushies or figures? plusHIES

The sun or the moon? the sun!!!

Bears or dogs? BEARS

Red roses or white roses? pink or yellow roses are myy faves actually 

[vie1seitig]

This is a long ass post about how I came to terms with being bisexual lol bc I wish I had someone tell me this shit sooner

I’m not sure who this will help, or even if it will help anyone, but I’ve struggled for years to figure out what exactly my sexuality is. This is going to be a long post.

Starting in like 7th or 8th grade I started watching a lot of like coming out videos and just videos about being gay in general, and I was really interested in reading about people who were gay or transgender or anything. I didn’t really know why I was so intrigued, I just assumed I was really weird. In a lot of the videos I watched, people would say they always knew they were different and had always liked the opposite sex and there was basically no doubt that they were gay. And, well, I’d had crushes on guys before. I was a tomboy growing up, but it’s not like I kissed my girl best friend in kindergarten or had crushes on any girls when I was little. So this meant I probably wasn’t really gay, right? That this was just some weird ass phase. 

Anyway, I had some pretty big crushes on celebrities. I thought Hayley Williams from Paramore was really hot, and I thought the lead singer of We Are the In Crowd was wicked hot too. I read online somewhere that it was perfectly normal for straight adolescents to have crushes on females when they’re famous, so I chalked it up to that and assumed these attractions meant nothing. Somewhere along the line I convinced myself that I was like subconsciously convincing myself that I was gay in order to get attention and make myself seem more interesting. I told myself that I was so desperate to be gay that I was starting to believe it. In high school, I had a huge crush on this one guy. I continued to have crushes on guys and not really on girls. Still, I would see pictures of girls on Tumblr and I couldn’t help but feel attracted. I got off to lesbian porn. I even told a few people how I was feeling, but I usually either brushed it off and pretended I never said it or that person and I kind of faded away and don’t talk anymore. I also don’t really have any close friends who are anything but cisgender and straight. I of course know many people who are, but I am just not close enough with any of them to talk to them about it. I’m not very close with many people.

In summation, there was a lot of evidence pointing towards both me being straight and me not being straight, and I was terrified of realizing I was wrong and then having to awkwardly like retract my coming out. I feel like that would just be so embarrassing. In any case, I got a boyfriend in the middle of my senior year, which pretty much brought my questioning to a screeching halt. I basically just convinced myself I was straight, coming to the conclusion that I wouldn’t be so unsure of myself if I was actually gay and that I just wanted attention. For a long time I also thought I had to be either gay or straight, and since I was attracted to boys I assumed it was impossible for me to like girls too. Now I am realizing that the “guidelines” I guess for being LGBT are not as strict and rigid as I had thought, and instead they are much looser and much more fluid than I had once believed.

When I was still so lost I wish I had had someone to tell me all of this, because I felt like I wasn’t allowed to identify as gay or anything because I didn’t fit every single description and I wasn’t like 100% obviously gay, and I also had trouble believing that I could possible be LGBT. Like, me? No way. But it is possible and I don’t have to be ashamed or so confused about it.