#i used to make new posts and link the ask bc it would work better for the way tumblr used to cut posts

[chiliconsharls]

So, I caved in and I did it in detail! A few days ago I posted a meme of the Charlos lore iceberg but then I had some people asking about some bits and I thought, oh, might as well make the whole masterpost. LOW AND BEHOLD, it is here; an extensive compilation of the rich Charlos lore

Below the cut because boy is this bitch long

DISCLAIMER: before we begin I must note a few things. First, this isn't a whole detailed timeline of Charles&Carlos' relationship and every single bit of their moments bc I would've genuinely gone insane, so, like with the iceberg meme, this is merely key details of their relationship that make ME particularly unwell. This is also almost 2K words long. Lastly, not all points are linked as some of them are rather quite simple to find with an easy Google search

They have the same name in different languages. (In fact, Carlos has explained that his ‘chilli’ nickname comes from the fact that a lot of his friends went from calling him ‘charlie’ to calling him ‘chilli’). Their name is of Germanic origin and it means “free man”. Charles is the French/English version of it, Carlos is the Spanish one.

Beginnings & Pre-Ferrari era (2017-2020)

“I knew you before you knew me” – Charles said he had heard about Carlos when he was coming up in racing while Carlos was competing in KF3 (2008-2009)

They were already hanging out by 2017, when Charles was still only a Ferrari academy driver – as told by a reddit user who works in the Yas Marina circuit and shared the story with a tiny Renault helmet signed by Carlos

“I said this guy’s not beating me, no fucking way” – Carlos in Drive to Survive S01E02 after his battle with Charles in the Azerbaijan GP. (Sidenote: The first episode of DTS dedicated to Charles –S01E08– also showcases a battle with Carlos briefly)

Marina Bay Sands pool story – in several instances now, they both have shared the story of their first meeting/first ‘real’ conversation back in 2018, during the race week of the Singapore GP. They both said they saw each other at the pool of Marina Bay Sands hotel (it’s still unclear whether they were inside the pool or just by), and they had dinner where they talked for a while.

Carlos’ said that that first conversation made him think Charles was a good guy but also that when he first talked to him, he seemed innocent

2018 Autosport Awards interview  – Charles is giving an interview about how his exciting new season is coming and Carlos pops in and tugs him by the ear, making as if to give him a little smooch

“Carlos! My future teammate!”

Ferrari era (paper & cotton years – 2021-2022)

Youngest Ferrari duo

Lord Perceval nickname is born – despite claims that Charles disliked the nickname Carlos gave him (as requested by Charles himself that Carlos ‘from now on, call me Lord Perceval”), Charles went on to have it as his personal tag on his cap –made for driver use only. He’s also used ‘Perceval’ as his aviator call sign when he did some training with the French Air Force.

Jenga challenge video

Fiorano music challenge – this is their core happy memory, as they have said a few times themselves

“I started to listen to some jazz in the mornings” “Jazz?”

Chess – chess is one core activity they do. They would play a lot, even online. Charles would even stop talking to Carlos when he lost sometimes, and Carlos has stated that he only plays it with Charles.

Charles’ said Carlos plays better at night, and he plays better in the morning to evening. “The flights together are probably the ones I enjoy the most (...) we will put our phones away and play chess. That’s where we have the most interesting and deep conversations and I have really, really good memories of that”

“You haven’t showered together?” “We’re not that close yet” // “I find you spontaneously funny” “Carlos doesn’t do anything but he makes me laugh” – Sky Sports game interview in 2021

Charles going to watch Carlos on the podium in Monaco – Carlos talked later in 2024 about how much it meant for him to see Charles there

“Mate! You are looking at me!”

Red porn couch debriefs videos – not much to say, tbh, Ferrari sat them in a sus red couch to shoot the debrief post-race videos. Some of them are quite something

“Come on, Charles, don’t do this!” – Carlos’ radio in Saudi Arabia ‘21

Jean Alesi calling them ‘la bella coppia’ (“the beautiful couple”) // also, Jean Alesi doing photoshop manips when Charlos fought in 2024

Carlos: “good looking couple” “we make a good couple” “most beautiful pair”

Carlos showing off his strength to Charles in that Ferrari party thing

Everything that was written in the GQ article (by Tom Lamont) as well as the photoshoot

Calling each other beautiful

Charles sharing a sandwich with Carlos

Them calling each other ‘sweetie’, ��honey’, ‘baby’, ‘love’ // ‘like this or more, darling?’ // ‘thank you, my love’  

Bahrain 1-2

Carlos checking in on Charles before his post-race interview in Monza 22’ despite being told he had to go some other place

Ferrari era (leather & forced divorce – 2023-2024)

Football watching together (despite the fact that Charles’ said he doesn’t really follow football) // “Yes, Carlos will be really happy” – Charles after someone asked him if he watched El Clasico and Real Madrid had won that time

Paddle playing too

“Can I choose the position he needs to be in? Take off your clothes, Carlos!”

The gingerbread cookies video

“He loves me” – the whole shell challenges in Zandvoort actually

Talked about racing Le Mans

Charles being jealous of Lando

“Together or nothing. We come as a package”

Charles hiding in Carlos’ closet to surprise him for his birthday

Monza 23’ battle

The Curious Case of Charlos and Pierre Gasly’s PR accusations – During a fan forum in the Singapore GP ’23 weekend, Carlos joked that he would’ve picked Charles to be stuck with in a deserted island, saying: “You see, I would’ve picked Charles, Esteban, I like my teammate” (because Esteban had been asked the same question just before and upon being told he wasn’t allowed to pick his own teammate, Esteban jokingly went: “I wasn’t going to pick Pierre anyway”).

Pierre and Esteban Ocon had a rocky relationship as teammates in Alpine, on top of having an already complicated past together since they’ve known each other since they were kids. Nearing the end of 2023 season, after Pierre (and Esteban) had been criticized for their poor relationship, Pierre talked about friendships in the paddock in an interview and he name-dropped Carlos and Charles, claiming that people “shouldn’t think that they’re all friends”. Despite Pierre having also named Mercedes and Red Bull pairs, people seemed to only latch onto Charlos

It’s important to note that Pierre Gasly is the driver Charles is famously closest to in the whole grid (as they’ve been friends since childhood) but also, he was teammates with Carlos in Toro Rosso for two races in 2017, and is fairly one of the drivers that are close-ish to Carlos as well. In fact, Pierre sometimes hangs with both of them, too.

Puma couch picture we never got the context of

Fred: “are you still single?” Carlos: *looks at Charles* “anyway, changing subject…” – DTS S06E08 // (Sidenote: theres some joking that Charles’ current girlfriend, Alexandra Saint Mleux, and Carlos’ current girlfriend, Rebecca Donaldson, seem to have a slight resemblance to Carlos and Charles, respectively (and the girls also seem to get along quite well))

New York event

Charles timing Carlos’ laps

“I want to give this to you, so you remember me for the rest of your life. For our post teammate era” // “You’re going to leave it there” “No, I won’t" – Carlos gifting him a chili plushie.

“Tell Charles to come close to me and we celebrate this one together” – Australia 24’

China Sprint 24’ incident: “He’s fighting me harder than the rest” // “A kiss on the mouth, everything okay”

Spanish reporter calling them roommates

Insane sim racing videos (almost all of them have some degree of craziness but specially Saudi Arabia, Austria, Dutch, Monza, COTA, Brazil)

Both of them thinking about their morning wood live on camera… then Carlos knowing Charles’ a sleepy guy

Miami merch promo video being cut just right as Carlos seems to go for Charles’ face

“We go from hating each other to loving each other real quick” – actually, that whole motorsport interview for Miami was awesome

Spain 24' inchident - Charles: “He was trying to do something extraordinary because it’s his home race and important moment in his career” // Carlos: “It’s too many times he complains about something”

“Charles and I have one or two ding-dongs a year”

“We look at each other and we smiled like we’re used to” // “We look at each other in the eyes and we understand immediately”

Gladiator II premiere

“Complicate me. Complicate my life, like you always do”

Charles letting Carlos drive his Ferrari in Monaco and show Carlos Sr

“I wanna smash you”

Carlos grabbing Charles’ balls in Mexico 24’

“You should try the chilli crab … I am the chilli crab”

“Try in Spanish” – Charles post Vegas 24’

“Carlos is not my girlfriend, I’m not gonna miss him like crazy”

“I would listen to you for hours”

Abu Dhabi 24’ radio: “it hurts a lot… I really wish we could’ve won it also for the last season with Carlos”

Charles goodbye to Carlos: “Now, I can call him a friend outside of racing” // Charles calling him 'chilli' in IG post (Carlos' said his personal friends call him chilli)

“I wouldn’t be the driver I am today if he hadn’t been my teammate”

“I was happy with Charles. I would’ve continued with Leclerc for life”

“Amazing four years fighting for Ferrari” — Carlos on IG

Fred: “I have never in all my time of racing seen two teammates so intensely preoccupied with what the other one is doing”

Charles being in Fiorano for Carlos’ last farewell with his father driving a Formula 1

Timeless traditions/Uncategorized info

Starting almost all videos with: “Helloooo” “hola”

“Are you ready?” “I’m always ready, Carlos”

Zero concept of personal space

Charles often looks smaller than Carlos despite actually being taller

Hand size difference

Yapper & Yapper

Carlos’ love language is physical violence

Carlos –a self-proclaimed butt guy— often taps Charles’ butt

They had 9 podiums and three 1-2s

They had 90 races together and never crashed

They’re each other’s longest teammates as of date

[seeingivy]

style

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

previous part linked here

an: this is 10k. I decided to leave the what am I to you scene for the next chapter bc of it...apologies....also I jsut wanted to post it bc I promised this at the beginning of the week and yday and now its been a long time coming

songs mentioned: style by taylor swift and glimpse of us by joji (minor mention of peace by taylor swift too)

--

--

“Wait, so. I don’t get it. You’re basically…acting like a couple on purpose?” Zeke asks. 

Eren spares a weary glance to his parents, matching apprehensive looks in their eyes, as he slides the salt and pepper shakers towards Zeke. 

Leave it to him to bring up the elephant in the room. 

One mention of attending an award show or a red-carpet event had the three of them dropping everything to come to New York at the drop of the hat. Especially when Scott Clarkson was going to be attending. 

Levi was more than happy to oblige them at the hotel they were all staying at, much to Eren’s dismay, which left him in his current predicament. 

That unlike his friends, who were secretly letting him indulge in something he probably shouldn’t and turning a blind eye, the three of them were never going to let it go. 

Eren knew that part of what he was doing was wrong. That he was walking a very fragile line and that their concerns, in some sense, were very valid. 

He had promised you a show. The problem was that it wasn’t just a show for him. It wasn’t even the slightest bit difficult for him to give the public exactly what they wanted to see – to go above and beyond to prove that the two of you were better than ever. 

He wanted that deeply – for it to be true. Fervently, desperately. It wasn’t hard to pretend when Eren had spent a majority of his life thinking about you, about what this would be like, anyways. 

It started out simple. Eren offered to accompany you on your first walk out in public that morning – after watching you stare at the people through the window the entire morning. There was a big crowd lingering outdoors, supplied by rumors that the group of them were staying in the hotel, and he was positive that some part of it was making you feel green. 

That and the fact that as much as you could front, some part of this had to be some level of nerve wracking to you. You had put on a brave face very well, but Eren’s deep rooted fear is that this’ll just send you deeper into that cave you retreated into last time – and that you’ll leave him waiting outside again. 

So he offered to do your first paparazzi walk with you. Cited that it would have been the perfect thing to build up more publicity, give them a greater chance of stealing the morning headlines about how today was Hyla’s birthday and the buzz around what she was going to wear tonight. 

It gave him an excuse to make sure you didn’t run off this time – that he’d be able to catch you if something happened. 

Except Eren took it too far. He had given you the permission to pump the brakes whenever you felt like it was too much and the fact that you almost never did made it impossible for him to stop. So he pulled you close whenever the paparazzi were near, brushing his nose against yours as the two of you smiled sunshine into each other’s faces. 

It was a disaster waiting to happen. Though from Eren’s expert point of view, he couldn’t fall any more than he already had. 

The problem would come later – when it would just become another memory that he cherished, had to relive after he was finally denied the promise of your company and friendship for good. 

When the show ended in two months and when you would have no reason to talk to each other again. 

Eren shakes the thought from his head as he looks back up at them. 

“Yeah. But trust me, it’s actually working. The record label dropped Ricky James and now that Y/N promised them her new album, they’re going to sever ties all together.” Eren states. 

“I just don’t see what that has to do with pretending to date. You know, especially when you’re still in love with the girl.” Carla states. 

“It’s sadistic. Even for you.” Zeke states. 

Eren shoves him in the side. With his parents' eyes averted, he takes the chance to knee Zeke this time to catch his attention. 

Could you just back me up? Eren mouths. 

Zeke rolls his eyes, before quietly mouthing his response back. 

Okay, fine! Just relax. 

Eren turns back to the two of them, mustering his best smile. And hoped that deep down, that fleeting flare of hope that’s been burning in his chest won’t go to waste this time – that there are real grounds behind actually bringing Scott Clarkson down. 

“There’s a certain publicity that you can’t buy with people who have…such a drama filled history like us. We’re aiming for a solidified deal with Ethan Cole by the end of the Met Gala.” Eren states. 

He flinches when his dad drops the fork against the ceramic of the plate. 

“Ethan Cole? Are you crazy, Eren? He’s never going to agree to a deal with you guys.” 

“Maybe a little. But I think that we could do it. I spent years being played by idiots like Scott Clarkson – it’s not hard to tell that’s how he keeps people around. And…we have an idea of exactly how to do it.” Eren states. 

“I don’t know, Eren. I don’t exactly like this idea. I wouldn’t exactly put your hopes on this.” Carla murmurs. 

Eren gives her a smile, reaching to tangle his ankle with hers under the table. 

He gets it. Deep down, he does. Because the last time Eren did this – with the court case and Connie and Lana at his side – Eren was downtrodden when Scott Clarkson’s life virtually stayed the same. Almost everyone knew, or had some semblance of an idea, that Eren had sued him, that Scott had terribly wronged him. 

He had gone through the lengths of an entire court case, just for it to amount to nothing. 

He still had his career. He still had the movies, a beloved producing company, and the godawful tabloids that ruined Eren’s life. People continued to work with him despite everything that had happened. 

“I won’t be like last time. It…it almost feels better this time around. I have everyone around me and I don’t feel alone, so.” Eren adds. 

“Well, you weren’t exactly alone the last time.” Carla states. 

“You know what he meant. It’s different.” Grisha murmurs.” 

“I do think she can do it. These people only care about what makes them money or…or moves their business forward. No one can do that for them like her. And even besides that, she’s really earnest in the way she moves. I feel like people could even become more aware of this type of thing if she spoke out about it.” Eren finishes. 

Eren looks over, looking to his mom’s brown eyes hoping for her approval. He doesn’t exactly find it, but there’s a nod. He understands it all the same – that he’s the one who gets to make the calls here, regardless. 

“Oh, let’s all relax! If Eren wants to kiss her and run around doing god knows what, that’s his business! He’s a grown man.” Zeke adds, sliding one hand around his shoulder and using his free one to pinch his cheek. 

Eren seethes, stomping hard on his foot under the table. 

“I don’t kiss her.” Eren defends. 

“Not yet, you don’t. That’s for next month, right?” Zeke responds, with a wink. 

Is this what Zeke thought backing him up was? 

Eren can feel his cheeks burn. Leave for the empty spots in the script – that Levi had stated he had some special plan for – the last part of the show was almost finished. And much to Eren’s dismay, Hange and Levi overrode his opinion in the writers room and included a kiss in the script. 

He’s just hoping for his own sake that they end up cutting it before the day comes like they did the first time. There were only so many things that he could stomach. 

“That’s filming, Zeke. That’s different.” 

Zeke rolls his eyes. 

“Right.” 

Eren’s thrown out of the loop when the door swings open, with Connie and Mikasa barging in with you at their heels. The three of you look particularly disheveled – sopping wet from the rain outside, giggly smiles on your faces – as Connie and Mikasa shake their hands at the group of them. 

“We ran out of toothpaste over there, Eren. We’re just gonna take some.” Mikasa states. 

“You needed three people to get one tube of toothpaste?” Eren asks. 

“Well, I was going to come. Then, Connie decided he wanted to accompany me. And then Y/N realized we were going to get it from your room, then decided to come.” Mikasa responds, dragging Connie off to the little bathroom at the side. 

Eren lifts his head to find you standing at the door, with…an almost awkward look on your face. The big smile that he saw seconds ago was virtually gone. 

“You know what! I think Falco’s actually calling me…so I’m just going to…” 

“You should sit. Eat breakfast with us.” Carla states, gesturing to the empty seat at her side. 

That’s when Eren realizes it – and it sends an overwhelming amount of relief through him. That you didn’t feel awkward around him but around his family instead. 

Eren racks his mind trying to remember it – when you were with them last. And if his memory isn’t deceiving him, it was the last Thanksgiving that you guys were together, a snowy November years ago. 

And he gets it, the immediate nervousness. God knows he felt the same way around Falco and Colt when they arrived – after Levi hadn’t listened to his advice to not cast the two of them in the show. Just to spare him some torture. 

Levi, obviously, refused to listen. 

You always had your guard up around Zeke and if he knew you half as well as he thought he did, he knows for a fact that you must feel embarrassed to show your face around his parents now after everything that happened. 

“Mom, it’s okay. You can go see if Falco’s good, Y/N.” Eren affirms. 

Eren watches as your eyes meet his, slightly faltering before you shake your head and drag yourself to the table. From his peripheral, he can see that Zeke’s already too delighted for his own good as Zeke quickly offers you the seat at Eren’s side and sits directly across from the two of you. 

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jaeger. I appreciate it.” you respond, smoothing the little cloth over your lap as you knit your fingers into knots. 

Eren busies himself with filling your plate, carefully sectioning small amounts of each dish, before he puts his hand in between yours. You welcome the touch, linking your fingers in with Eren’s under the table, as you shoot them all a smile. And Zeke’s godawful delighted smile back almost makes you sweat. 

“Eren. You should go check on Falco, since he was calling Y/N.” Carla states. 

“Huh? Oh, I-I’m sure he’s fine. Colt’s here and Gabi too, you know.” you mumble. 

There’s no way you’re sitting alone with his family. 

“I think Eren should check on him. That way, it won’t be in the back of your head while we talk.” Carla responds. 

Eren shoots you a questioning look at your side, as you release his hand, and give him a nod. You can tell that he’s hesitating, his movements painstakingly slow as he exits the room and closes the door behind him, leaving you with the three of them. 

“I apologize for that. He wasn’t going to leave unless you gave your approval.” Carla murmurs, as the three of them relax with his presence missing. 

Zeke takes the opportunity to take the seat at your side, filling the empty space Eren left. He leans closer, voice quiet as he whispers and nearly makes your heart drop in your chest. 

“Don’t worry. I’ve got your back. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to hold your hand under the table like he did.” 

You fight the urge to spit the water in your mouth straight into the glass – but swallow the shock and battery acid sensation down as you spare the two of them a glance ahead of you. 

There’s a twinge of regret – that at one point, you used to be like their chosen family and now it feels like you’ve allocated a lifetime of hurt to their son. 

“I want to start by apologizing.” you state. 

The two of them look up at you confused. 

“For?” Grisha asks. 

“Everything I did to Eren. I…I care for your son an awful lot, though it may not seem like that at times. And I hope that you know that even causing the smallest bit of pain is something that I have to carry with me everyday. Something I’ll spend a lifetime trying to rectify.” you state. 

Carla sighs, setting her fork down in her plate and crossing her arms against her forearms. You can tell that Zeke’s priming some sort of response against her just from the almost enraged look in his face and you make it a point to spare him a warning glance not to. 

Whatever wrath she had prepared for you was what you deserved. And just like Eren and Mikasa, you’d spend your entire life fixing it till it was better with her too. 

“I’m not going to pretend to understand what it was that happened between you and Eren. I can read news articles and watch interviews and documentaries but…it doesn’t exactly make sense to me. I can admit that. I don’t know why you broke up with him and…and I surely don’t know why Eren thought it was okay to say everything that he did to you.” 

“Oh. That’s nothing, really-” 

“I don’t understand how you guys can make these big, love confessions without even confronting each other in the first place. Because…you’re not together, right?” Carla asks. 

You bite down on your cheek. 

“That’s right. It’s just for the paparazzi, trying to build up the hype around-” 

“No, I get that part. But the interview, the documentary. You guys did that for each other, on some level. So I’ll ask again. You’re really not together?” Carla asks. 

You sigh. 

“No. I’m sorry. I…I haven’t thought much about that because I want everything settled before I even consider it. Being careless ruined everything last time…and I can’t afford to do that again. I want to be careful with his feelings this time around.” you state. 

Carla pauses, before standing up and joining you at your side. And you’re caught completely off guard when she wraps her arms around you, pulling you up until you’re nestled in her arms and she’s rubbing at the sides of your biceps. 

You forgot – she used to do this to you all the time.

“You…you’re a good girl. We’ve always loved you, always loved how Eren was around you, but…just be careful with our son, okay? I don’t want him to be hurt again and he’s sensitive, if that much wasn’t obvious at this point.” 

“I appreciate that. Really, I…I don’t think you guys understand what it means to me. And I won’t, I’m making my sincerest promise that I’ll try not to. He’s….he means the world to me. He’s been my best friend as long as I can remember and…no one is going to be who Eren is to me.” 

And for the first time, the two of them spare you a glimmering smile. 

“He feels the same way.” Grisha states. 

You sigh, offering the two of them a smile. And right on cue, Eren barges right through the door, the worry on his face melting as the two of you offer him a smile. You can tell that he’s a little confused – as he settles back into his seat and gives a questioning look to Zeke. 

The two of them return to eating, as you dig your own fork into the food and push it around. That’s when Zeke slides his arm around the back of your chair, leaning forward as he gives you a smirk. 

You can’t help but feel annoyed. Not in the genuine, hatred way, but in the same way you did when Colt used to tease you when you were a kid. 

“So…family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother? That is about me, right?” 

You roll your eyes, sparing him a laugh, as you elbow him in the side. 

“I’m so sorry to break your heart here, Zeke, but that line in peace was about Eren and Falco. Not about you and me.” you state.

“Yeah, dumbass. She doesn’t even like you.” Eren mutters. 

Zeke feigns hurt as he clutches his right hand to his chest and groans. You watch as Grisha rolls his eyes in front of you and Carla fights the urge to smile at his theatrics. 

“You’re a bitch.” 

“Language, Zeke! God.” the two of them cry, rolling their eyes at Zeke. Eren rolls his eyes as he stands up, stacking all the plates and placing them at the island as you turn back to look at the group of them. 

You shake your head, laughing, as you thank your lucky stars at how comfortable it is, that you’ve floated right back into the ease that you always seemed to be in when you were around them. And Zeke too, for the first time. 

Zeke spares you a genuine smile this time, as he gets closer to you. 

“I think that you and I could be really good friends. We both love Eren and…and maybe we haven’t always done right by him but…” 

You can tell that he’s getting tripped up by the words, that the sentiment that’s underlying is something the two of you have never really shared before. A closeness that brings you together. Because for you, Zeke was always something you needed to protect Eren from and for him, you were positive now, knowing what you did now, that maybe Zeke felt robbed of some part of that. 

Getting to meet his little brother’s first girlfriend. Tease him about it, give him some brotherly advice – the way Colt did with you. That maybe he wanted the relationship that Eren and Falco had with each other with you, if things were different. 

“Yeah. But…we’re going to do right by him this time. We’ll make sure of it.” you whisper back, averting your eyes to where he’s standing. 

Zeke breaks out into a smile, extending his closed fist out to you as you push your own against his. 

“One thing?” Zeke states. 

“What’s that?” 

Zeke has a nearly murderous glint in his eye when he says it. And it fills you up with a searing feeling of warmth. 

“You give that asshole Scott Clarkson hell. For all of our sake.” 

You give him a smile back. 

“That’s a promise, Zeke.” 

--

Eren can feel himself sweating on the opposite side of the red carpet. The stickiness of the hairspray is sitting heavy in his hair, the collar digging into his neck, and palms embarrassingly sweaty as he stares at the group of people around him. 

Lana and Sukuna are fussing over fixing Connie’s outfit, Jean and Mikasa are taking shots at his side, and you can tell that Suguru Getou is truly cutting his losses at this point. 

Satoru’s wearing an outfit with literal, raw meat on it. 

“It’s camp!” Satoru whines. 

“That was the theme last year, dumbass. And it’s not camp, you’re just a nuisance.” Megumi grumbles, pinching his nose as he joins Eren at his side. 

Eren gives him a nod in acknowledgement, as he watches Yuuji at Satoru’s side, snapping excited pictures of Satoru’s meat hat and pokes his fingers into the red flesh. 

“Can you believe you’re dating that guy?” Eren asks. 

“Everyday I question my sanity.” Megumi mumbles. 

“Could be worse. You could be married to Satoru.” 

“Don’t remind me.” Suguru groans at his side, the two of them sparing a laugh. 

Megumi chooses to keep the comment to himself. He swallows, pointing out that you had said the same thing to the pair of them when Satoru dressed up like that godawful cat years prior. Megumi figures that he’ll keep this thread of your invisible string to himself, for the time being – that it might not exactly be productive for right now. 

Eren catches Levi’s head shifting towards him in the peripheral, as he looks over and tries to follow Levi’s line of vision. And feels his throat constrict as Ricky and Hyla walk past, the two of them sparing him and Lana a sickly sweet smile, and take their spots at the end of the line. 

Eren notes that despite the fact that you had side-swept all of her designers to work with you, naturally she still put together an outfit. He was hoping that it would be worse than it actually ended up being. Though he supposed the birthday girl would always get what she wanted in the end. 

“I’m ready to wipe that smug smile off of their fucking faces and I’m so serious.” 

Eren nearly jumps as he realizes you’re now standing at his side, your eye nearly twitching as you watch the two of them. But all he can feel now is his own throat itching, Ricky and Hyla the least of his problems as his skin ignites at the sight of you so close to him. Your flowery perfume is invading his senses, as he fights the urge to ogle your dress full on. 

“Y/N.” he whispers. 

“Do I look stupid? The underslip they had for the dress didn’t fit me because Hyla’s so much taller that they just…told me to wear this matching set. I feel like I’m going to be flashing everyone.” you mumble. 

“Better for you. You look fucking hot. And apparently, Hyla stole her dress from a piece that was already in the museum. I’m sure she’ll ruin it by the end of the night.” Lana states, as Sukuna joins her at the side and links his arm through hers. 

The two of them have matching stitching on their outfits, wedding rings sparkling on their fingers. Eren clears his throat, your eyes expectant as you wait for a response, and his head nearly spinning from the overstimulation. 

“She’s right. You’re beautiful.” 

“You can say she's hot, Eren. It won’t kill you.” Sukuna complains. 

Eren watches as your eyes widen, a soft pink blush running up your neck, as you avert your eyes. And Sukuna, naturally, ruins the moment by making gagging noises only to get smacked by Lana after the fact. 

The two of them shuffle off, giving you a thumbs up behind their backs, as you turn to each other. Eren links his hands in with yours, giving you three squeezes, as he looks down at the dark makeup smeared around your eyes, making your eyes appear even bigger and brighter. 

Eren gestures his head to the left, snaking his hand around your bare skin in the dress, and lines up directly behind Ricky and Hyla. And the two of you wait for them to walk out and follow directly after. 

It goes exactly how it thought you would. You haven’t walked a red carpet since the last awards show – and from what Eren told you – it had been years since he had too. 

It was simple. 

Seeing Hyla and Ricky at a carpet together was almost a given, almost too predictable. It would hardly spare a headline in comparison to you two – together. Years after the fact, with Eren’s documentary behind you. 

The clicking and the flashing immediately throws you off your guard, coupled with the screaming of your name, that you almost fall off the stiletto of your heels. But Eren’s quick with it, hands looped around your waist as he held you up against him. 

“Thanks. I-” 

“Don’t look at them. Just look at me.” Eren whispers, voice almost gravelly. 

“What?” 

“It’s better that way. Just act like you’re above them. Like you and I are the only people in the room.” Eren murmurs. 

You give him a nod, catching his drift as you follow his lead. And it almost works too well – easing your red carpet nerves when you literally don’t have to acknowledge them and just have to hold hands with Eren all the way down the carpet. 

Eren stops dead center, right before the steps, as you spare a glance over your shoulder. The group of them are following – Satoru’s raw meat causing a commotion at the start – and you turn back to him. 

“Ready?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I know you just asked me to get you a necklace for the Ricky thing, but I actually did ask them to design a custom one for you.” 

You smile. You had made it a point – that you were going to stick it to Ricky for that stupid night that he left you drenched in the rain – but you failed to consider that this would happen. Though in hindsight, you should have expected it. 

Eren was always thoughtful when it came to things like this.

“Really?” you ask. 

Eren nods, as he reaches into his pocket, pulling out the little charm necklace. You take it in his hands, admiring the little charm at the center, of the planet Saturn. You frown, turning it over in your fingers. 

“Does Saturn have some connection to Uranus that I don’t know about? I thought that I was supposed to be the moon.” you mumble. 

Eren laughs, as he shakes his head and gestures for you to spin around. You oblige, moving your hair to the side and feeling your cheeks heat up as the paparazzi snap what feels like hundreds of pictures – of Eren clasping the necklace and then pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck. His voice comes out as a whisper on your skin as he pulls you closer to him, the two of you posing for the picture. 

“I mean, Marco was always a big fan of immature jokes. So I guess it does?” Eren states. 

You widen your eyes as you press your fingers to the charm, realizing what it means. 

Your braids like a pattern, love you to the moon and to Saturn. 

The last time that you were at the Met Gala was when you performed with Marco. You can feel warm tears accumulating in your eyes as Eren cups the side of your cheek, a soft smile on his face. He taps the little pin on the lapel of his jacket, a matching little saturn charm as you bite down on your cheeks and smile back. 

“He’s here with us. Haunting us from his grave like he promised.” Eren jokes. 

You give Eren a teary laugh. 

“Yeah. I think he is too.” 

You lean your head against Eren’s shoulder, as the two of you walk straight up the stairs into the venue. There’s a glimmering chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the stage decorated a sparkling silver. 

“Do you have a Maya Angelou quote for me? She always was Marco’s favorite.” 

Eren smiles. 

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refused to be reduced by it.” Eren states. 

--

Falco and Colt are the ones by your side backstage. You can feel your hands shaking, throwing the mic from one hand to the other, as the two of them lean their heads against yours. 

You’re performing for the first time in years. Since you performed the grudge, at that godawful awards show years ago. 

You choose to use the wall of pictures as a distraction. One of your favorite things about performing at the Met was that they took pictures of each of the performers and pasted them to the big walls behind the curtains. People would sign the walls, the pictures themselves – to mark that they had performed here, to immortalize themselves on the wall. 

And it takes a few seconds, but you find the picture dead center. Of you and Marco. The two of you are hugging each other, cheeks pressed together with pink, teary eyes, with your names scribbled in Marco’s loopy handwriting underneath. 

seven by y/n l/n ft marco bodt 

And directly next to it, is a picture you’ve never seen before. Of Eren and Marco – their hands clasped together – and the same loopy handwriting underneath with the song. 

“He didn’t want to take that picture. He…he made me do it. Said he should still remember the moment, even if he wasn’t at his best.” Armin states. 

“Oh. Hey, what are you doing here?” 

“Just checking you’re okay. First time performing and all that. And I was back here with you the last time this happened too.” Armin murmurs. 

You smile, lacing your hand through his as you both stare at the pictures of Marco and you wrap your arms around Armin at the first sound of his sniffling. 

“Well, this is hardly about me performing, Armin.” you mumble. 

Armin gives you a watery laugh, before pulling back and wiping the wetness on his face away. 

You frown as you lightly dig your elbow into his side, trying to gesture him into talking. 

You were a little harsh when you talked to him last – when you had to convince him to finally forgive Eren. You regretted it after, being so rigid and forcing him into it, but you figured direction was what Armin needed at the time. 

“Marco said that even though that moment was bad for Eren, that even though he felt like he was never going to recover, there would be a day that he looked back on it and would relish in the fact that it was never going to be like that again. I hate the fact that Eren’s probably having that moment right now and shit is still so awkward between us that I can’t even tell him that I’m happy for him.” Armin murmurs. 

You stare at the pictures. 

“I didn’t realize you were…with Eren that day.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I was. I called him a lot after the whole Girlfriend thing, he was kind of convinced that we all hated him. And I did the same when the whole Satellite Port thing happened too.” 

Armin pauses. 

“I was always there for him, until I wasn’t. And I feel like I’m fucking groveling but things still won’t be the same between us.” 

“Well, don’t lose hope about that. Mikasa and I-” 

“You and Mikasa are different. You’re…you overlook things easier than we do. Mikasa wanted you to be her maid of honor again after you said you wanted to sleep in her room – just because she realized you still loved her. Even if Eren knew I loved him, I doubt that would fix what happened with us.” 

You lean your head against your shoulder. 

“Did you finish the script yet, Armin?” you whisper. 

“What?” 

“Did you finish it?” 

“Yeah.” 

You look over at him and smile. 

“That last conversation? Between your character and his? He wrote that all on his own. It’s obviously a little bit more dramatic than he intends it but…the premise is still there. You and him, still best friends at the end of it.” 

Armin looks back at the pictures, running his hands through his hair, and ruining any semblance of styling in his golden locks. 

“You think Marco would be pissed at us? All of us?” Armin mumbles. 

“No. I know he would have loved to seen us all reconcile. That he would have been really happy for us.” 

Falco and Colt give you a gesture over your shoulder, as you shoo Armin back to his seat, and readjust the feathers on the sleeves of your dress. You give Colt a smile as he hands you the last piece of the outfit, the glittery garter belt that you wrap over your thigh as you take your cue. 

--

Eren gives you props for hundreds of things, but this one specifically. It was hard to find something that you were bad at, since it felt that you were naturally skilled at everything, but when he watched you, like this, he couldn’t help but feel like you were born for it. 

You really knew how to put on a performance. 

It’s pitch black, leave for your purple silhouette against the back of the stage. Of your fingers running across the neck of the guitar, playing the opening notes to the song Maki requested days prior – that you named Style. 

Midnight You come and pick me up, no headlights Long drive Could end in burning flames or paradise Fade into view, oh It's been a while since I have even heard from you (heard from you)

And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I Know exactly where it leads, but I Watch us go 'round and 'round each time 

Eren watches as you pause, the entire backtrack and music stopping, as the entire crowd jumps to his feet and starts hollering for you when they finally shine the lights on you. Eren watches as you give everyone a little wave, pressing your hands to your cheeks unable to contain your smile before you gesture for everyone to be quiet so you can keep singing.

And feels his chest fill with immense pride as you walk all the way down the stage, fingers fast and smiling from ear to ear as you sing again. He can’t help but feel embarrassed as the group of them – Connie, Reiner, and Jean – start smacking him on the back, screaming about how crazy his girl was. 

You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like And when we go crashing down, we come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style You got that long hair, slicked back, white T-shirt And I got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt And when we go crashing down, we come back every time 'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style

When you reach the end of the stage, Eren watches as you slightly trip on your steps, before averting your eyes down to your leg. In the mess of walking and the notches on the guitar, a part of your stockings had ripped. 

Eren was impressed that you were still singing, as you reached down and took the halves of the garter belt in your hands, before you started looking out in the audience. And Eren can’t help but feel like in that moment, that some divine power might actually be real. 

Because three years ago, it was Hyla’s birthday and he was stuck at a dinner table thinking about you. About how he’d never feel that rush, that thrilling electricity that seemed to thrum in his veins whenever you looked at him. 

And he knows for a fact that really, it almost has to be real – a higher power that was looking out for him the entire time. Because years after the fact, he’s sitting here, blushing profusely as you throw the garter belt to him to catch, before you like down on the stage and scream your heart out. 

To a song that you wrote about him. 

Take me home Just take me home Yeah, just take me home Oh, whoa, oh (Out of style)

Oh, you got that James Dean daydream look in your eye And I got that red lip classic thing that you like And when we go crashing down (now we go), we come back every time  'Cause we never go out of style, we never go out of style 

--

--

“Ethan Cole! You’re just the person I wanted to see.” you state. 

Fresh off of the performance, with the little note card tucked in your hand, he’s the first person that you beeline towards. 

On first impression, he’s younger than Scott Clarkson by a landslide – beachy, golden hair as he stands from his share to take your extended hand. 

“Y/N L/N! Quite the performance up there, my daughter is a huge fan. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Ethan asks. 

You give the girl at his side a warm smile, the girl barely above the age of fifteen, as you turn back to him. 

“You know, I’ve really missed doing romantic comedies. I’ve heard that’s your forté,” you state. 

“Is that right?” 

“As fun as Attack on Titan can be, the drama can…be a little draining. I would love to get behind you if you produced a romantic comedy that I could star in.” 

You watch as he pinches his smile, eyes strained as he looks around the room. 

“I’m not sure how keen…some people at the company would be about that.” Ethan murmurs. 

“Who said you had to do it with them?” you state. 

“Huh?” 

You give him the best, most sickly sweet smile that you muster. “Who said…you have to do it with him?” 

You pull the little note card out of your backpocket, with your phone number scribbled over the top, and hand it to him. 

“You could easily produce it on your own. And if it was a star studded movie, you could avoid the risks of being associated as a start-up all together.” you state. 

Ethan pauses, for a while. 

“My own company?” 

“That’s right. You’re young, younger than your competition, and with how things have been going lately…I’m doubt they’ll stay afloat longer. If I were you, I’d capitalize on the fact that your own competition is about to be eliminated.” you state. 

You can tell that he almost doesn’t believe you. 

“I’ll have to think about it.” Ethan states. 

“Sure thing, Ethan. If the situation was right, I could even be persuaded to get some of my….friends to join. And I know you’re a smart guy – there’s some publicity that other people couldn’t even dream of buying.” 

You spare a glance over your shoulder to Eren at the stage with Lana, as she takes her seat at the piano and Eren begins adjusting the microphone at the stand. 

“I look forward to talking to you, Ethan.” 

And you give him a sickly sweet smile before you walk away. You settle back into your seat next to Levi and Connie – who had decided to take Eren’s open seat while he performed. 

“How did it go?” Levi asks. 

“He didn’t buy it.” you state. 

Levi gives you a terse nod, as you shake your head and readjust your seat to face the stage. Connie pulls his seat up right next to yours, the two of you giving each other a smile as you link your arms together and lean your head against his shoulder. 

“It’s your song!” you whisper. 

Connie leans his head on top of yours, voice quiet as Lana starts playing the piano. 

“It’s actually not. It’s even worse.” 

“Huh?” 

You lift your head off of his shoulder to eye him, and he only smiles, deviously, in return. 

“Let’s just say if it was my birthday today, I’d commit a murder after this.” 

You turn back to the stage, eyeing the little star decals hanging from the little ceiling, and watch as Eren nervously shakes his hands, before placing them on the mic stand. He turns to his left, giving the group of you a smile, before he starts. 

“I wrote this song exactly five years ago today when I was twenty. I was stuck at a birthday party, with a bunch of people I hated, and all I could think about was how I just wished that I was somewhere else. And really, I was hoping that the person that I really wanted beside me, had some semblance of that feeling about me too. This is my new song, it’s called Glimpse of Us.” 

When you're out of sight In my mind

'Cause sometimes I look in her eyes And that's where I find a glimpse of us And I try to fall for her touch But I'm thinking of the way it was Said I'm fine and said I moved on I'm only here passing time in her arms Hoping I'll find A glimpse of us

Eren always claimed that singing was never his forté and even from the way he moved – you could tell that he clearly felt more comfortable when he was acting. That he most definitely believed that his talents lied on a set rather than on a stage. 

And for maybe the hundredth time, it’s clear that Eren’s own visions of himself have clearly limited him. 

Because he’s beautiful. 

The stage design makes it look like he’s suspended in the sky, in between the moon and the stars, and the lack of production to the song – the fact that it’s just his voice and Lana’s fingers on the piano is chilling. 

It reminds you of that song that he wrote for you on the beach. 

Eren dislodges the microphone from the stand, tossing Lana a smile over his shoulder, before he walks directly to the edge of the stage that’s closest to you and Connie. And uses his hand to gesture for you to come closer, as he takes a seat and dangles his legs off the edge of the stage. 

You can feel the butterflies erupting in your stomach as you pull your chair closer to the stage, right until you’re looking up at Eren from your little seat and he’s looking down at you. And as he sings, he reaches down and places one of his hands on your cheek – the biting cold of the rings on his fingers cooling the warmth on your cheek – but doing nothing to help the burning in your chest from his dark green eyes, filled with such warmth and sincerity that it makes your heart race. 

You bring your own hand up to where his is on your cheek and he gives you a dimpled smile in return. 

'Cause sometimes I look in her eyes And that's where I find a glimpse of us And I try to fall for her touch But I'm thinking of the way it was Said I'm fine and said I moved on I'm only here passing time in her arms Hoping I'll find A glimpse of us

When he finishes, you press a kiss to the top of his knuckles and try to memorize the way the smile spreads across his face.  

--

Your last chance to convince this cowardly idiot Ethan Cole to agree with you guys is at the afterparty for the Met Gala, which coincidentally, you’ve never attended. 

The last time you were here, the entire ordeal was so draining – considering it was the first time that you had seen Eren since you broke up and you were here with Ricky – that you just skipped the party afterwards and went home. And you would have done the same thing now, since your hair was feeling sticky and your legs felt like lead from the heels, but you had to give it one last shot before you left. 

You had taken Mikasa and Jean’s lead, and decided to take four shots with them, by the time the party was in full swing. And right before the fifth, Eren suddenly materialized after being missing for the first half of the party and slipped it away from your nimble fingers and downed it himself. 

“Are you drinking?” he asks, shaking his head from the burn, before handing the glass back to Jean. 

“Well, obviously not if you’re taking my glass.” 

Eren reaches forward, fingers on the little ribbon around your neck, before you smack his hand off. 

“I like the outfit. It’s like the scarf from the show.” 

“That’s the point.” you state. 

Eren rolls his eyes as you both lean back against the wall, eyeing the crowd of people in front of you. 

“You should have told me. I would have matched.” Eren states. 

“How are you supposed to match? Your costume on set doesn’t have something as…obvious like the scarf.” 

“I would have just done the titan marks and called it a day.” Eren mumbles back. 

You nod, mulling over the idea, as you reach for the back hanging around your shoulder. And luckily for you, your lipstick is still in the bag – though most of the time, the bags that you have on red carpets have literally nothing on them – and instruct him to crouch so you can reach. He obliges, flashing you a smile, as you intently focus on drawing the lines under his eyes. 

Eren takes the distraction – the focus that you have from drawing on his face – and uses it to observe you. 

“Did you like my song?” Eren asks. 

“You’re insane. Did you really write that five years ago or did you make that up?” you whisper. 

“Nope. I wrote it after the last Met Gala, I think Hyla’s birthday was like a week or two after that.” he mumbles back. 

“Well, if it’s any consolation, what you were hoping was actually true. When I was at that Met Gala, I really just wished that I was with you, sitting with the rest of the cast.” 

Eren laughs. 

“Who said the song was about you?” Eren jokes. 

You pause, only to look up to glare at him, before you lightly shove him. And you can tell that he’s joking but it’s still irritating. 

“You’re such a dick, sometimes.” 

“You were thinking about me?” Eren responds, closing his hand around yours and snatching the little tube of lipstick from your hand. 

He lifts his phone up, looking at the reflection from the screen of his phone, as he messily finishes off the marks on the other side, more messy and jagged. And as annoying as he is, it’s extremely attractive when he does it – capping the lipstick and curling it back into the palm of your hand. 

“You wish.” you respond. 

Eren leans against the wall and you join him at his side, the two of you eyeing Ethan Cole at the end of the hall, with Ricky and Hyla posted up on the other side. You can’t help but seethe with anger as you watch the two of them together, curling your hands into little fists at your side. 

“I saw that video that was going around on Twitter a little while ago. Of you and Ricky, last time you were here.” Eren responds. 

“What video?” 

“It was on the red carpet. He like…grabbed your arm and shoved you.” Eren clarifies. 

“Oh! That’s right. He was trying to introduce me to John and I said some crap about him to Historia. Then, he got all pissed saying that I had to be nice to him or whatever since he was nice to you guys.” you respond. 

Levi and Hange walk up to the pair of you, arms linked together, as you straighten up. The two of them had weary eyes, focused on Eren, as they look around. 

“Eren. He’s here.” 

“Who’s here?” you ask. 

“Scott Clarkson. He just walked in – guess he’s not deciding to skip after all.” Hange responds. 

Eren leans forward, angling his head over the crowd of the people, towards the opening at the front of the hallway and feels his throat turn to sandpaper. Eren clenching his fists so hard that he’s sure he’s drawing blood, the entirety of the conversation almost lost to him as he feels himself nearly losing balance on his legs. 

“You’re free to leave, Eren. We have a car ready for you. If you want to stay, we’re here with you.” Hange states. 

You look around to the other side of the room to find Connie talking to a group of people, none of which you knew. Mikasa and Jean are a few feet away – but clearly drunk out of their mind – and you can’t seem to find anyone else who could stay with him. You jerk your head back, to the two of them. 

“Listen. I’ve got Eren. Could you guys check that Connie’s going to be fine?” 

Hange and Levi turn their heads to the side, giving you a nod, as they speed walk to the other side of the room and you link your arm in with Eren’s. He’s still staring at the other side of the room and you lightly tug on his arm to catch his attention, his eyes almost dazed when he looks at you. 

“Sorry. Did Hange and Levi say something?” 

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay. We can leave if you want to, there’s a car and everything.” 

“No…no, we didn’t talk to Ethan Cole yet. And, it’s fine.” Eren responds, shaking his head. 

It’s not that Eren’s exactly scared of Scott Clarkson, though there was a point in time that he most certainly would be. It’s more that he’s intimidated by what could go down, because while Eren knows that he isn’t exactly being swayed by him anymore, it’s a debilitating reminder every time he makes a comment that sends Eren tumbling back down. 

“Lana and Sukuna are together. I sent Hange and Levi to check on Connie. And I’m here with you, so…so all the bases are covered.” you respond. 

Eren smiles. 

“You’re here with me? What are you going to do?” 

“Punch him in the face.” you respond. 

Eren laughs. 

“Are you crazy?” 

“Do I look like a comedian to you?” you ask Eren. 

“You look more like a clown to me.” 

You feel your eyes widen, as you turn to your side and find Hyla and Ricky standing right to the left of you and Eren. You’re not sure what it is, but Eren suddenly squared his shoulders back, muscles tense at the sight of them. 

“Do you need something?” Eren asks. 

Hyla rolls her eyes as she looks at Eren, before turning back to you. And her eyes flicker to the necklace around your neck, before she looks back up at you and smiles. 

“Cute necklace!” 

Eren grins at your side. They took the bait. 

“Do you like it, Ricky? It’s custom Tiffany. I had it made special for Y/N myself.” Eren asks. 

You watch as Ricky furrows his brow, slightly clenching his jaw and nearly pink in the face, as he rolls his eyes in response – very clearly understanding the reference. 

“I don’t know where the fuck you think you get off, Eren. Need I remind you, that while I was at the top of my fucking career you were cleaning up a baby’s diapers.” 

You watch as Eren’s eye twitches, knuckles white at his side as he doesn’t respond. And it only gets more agitating since Ricky clearly gets off on the fact that Eren refuses to fight back, and takes it as an invitation to keep going. 

“Seriously, dude. You started at the fucking top of the food chain – your parents are literally Grisha and Carla Jaeger – and yet you’re slumming it with Lana and Sukuna. Lana’s quite literally the biggest bitch I’ve ever met in my life. Don’t pretend like you’re both not trying to get your five minutes of fame by talking about me. And don’t even get me started on how pathetic Sukuna is for what he said in that dumbass documentary the two of you made. Donating to sexual assault victims won’t fix a lack of talent.” 

“Where do you get-” 

“Y/N.” Eren states, silencing you all together. 

“That’s right, Eren. You better keep my sloppy seconds-” 

Ricky doesn’t get to finish the statement, because Eren’s punched him in the face. Not once, not twice, but three times to the point where he’s tackled him onto the floor, a bright red decorating his knuckles. 

“Y/N. What the fuck? Get him to stop!” 

You know that it’s petty. That maybe if you were a little bit of a better person, you actually would have asked Eren to stop. But Ricky James was quite literally the worst person you had ever met and deep down, there wasn’t even a single part of him that didn’t deserve what he was getting right now. 

You crouch down on your knees, Eren momentarily stopping to look at you, before you shake your head and look down at him. 

“I’m so sorry, Ricky. I don’t think I can do that right now.” 

Eren smiles, as he lands one more punch, before a very drunk Jean and Reiner are able to pull him off – Maki and Pieck at your sides as they rub into the softness of your arms. You shake your head, signaling to them that you were fine, as Eren looks over at you over the accumulating crowd of people, and gives you a gesture. You nod, as Eren extends his hand out to you, and the two of you walk to the other side of the room. You eye the blood on Eren’s hand, all Ricky’s you’re sure, as Eren stops at the table and starts filling the cups with the lemonade. 

“We need a drink.” Eren states. 

“That’s what got you pissed off, Eren? When he started talking bad on my name?” you mumble. 

“I love your name.” Eren defends. 

You smile. 

“Though, I always felt like it’s missing something.” Eren adds. 

You roll your eyes. 

“And what’s that, huh?” 

“My last name.” Eren responds. 

Eren watches as a blush creeps over your cheeks and try not to laugh when you mutter something that sounds an awful lot like fuck you under your breath as he passes you one of the glasses of lemonade. Which is right when Lana comes up and snatches the glass from his hand and slams it down on the table. 

“Are you a fucking idiot, Eren?” Lana seethes. 

“What?” Eren responds, giving her an annoyed shrug back as he takes the glass back and hands you one. 

“You promised, Eren.” Sukuna responds. 

“You two can get your panties out of a twist. I didn’t break any promises.” 

“Do you think I’m blind, Eren?” Lana asks. 

Eren rolls his eyes, as he leans down, bringing his face closer to Lana’s. It’s the same thing that Colt does to you – on the rare occasions that he’s able to prove you wrong. 

“You made me promise that if Ricky said anything about Teddy or you, I wouldn’t say anything. And Sukuna made me promise that if Ricky said anything about him, I wouldn’t do anything, because it would upset you.” Eren states. 

That’s why he didn’t say anything. 

“Our princess over here didn’t force me to make any promises like that. So the second he called her sloppy seconds, I did what I had to do.” Eren responds. 

Lana’s eyes widen, as she turns her head to you. 

“What a dick. Are you okay?” Lana asks. 

“I’m fine. He said worse about you guys, I wanted to punch him myself.” 

Eren smiles, as he leans down to look at you. 

“Too bad. He’s getting escorted out on his ass now, so you lost your chance.” Eren responds, pointing towards the door. 

And surely enough, the security are taking him out with his hands secured behind his back – no thanks to the obscene screaming he’s doing – while Hyla looks maybe the most irritated you’ve ever seen before. She spares you one last glance, to which you and Eren respond with glimmering smiles, before she walks out. 

Lana gestures towards the bathrooms as Eren follows, presumably to wash his hands, leaving you and Sukuna by the table, nursing the little glasses of lemonade in your hands. And wordlessly, you extend your glass out to Sukuna – and thank your lucky stars that he understands – as he pulls the little flask from the pocket and pours it into your drink and then his. 

“Eren’s been waiting for that one.” Sukuna states. 

“I’m shocked you haven’t.” you respond. 

“Maybe before. But you know, with the kid, you have to be a good role model and all that. Plus, I hate when Lana lectures me because she gets really mean.” 

You snort. 

“I’d be scared of her too.” you respond. 

“Speaking of scared, how many drinks until he falls off?” Sukuna asks, pointing to the left. 

You follow his line of vision to find Yuuji standing on top of the bar, tie loosely hanging around his neck and pink in the face with Satoru, as he sings along to the music playing from the speakers. 

“Which one are you talking about? I think they’re both well past that point.” you respond. 

“Yuuji, obviously. I’m going to stop him before he ends up on a headline.” Sukuna responds. 

“You have fun with that. I’ll watch from over here.” you respond, as Sukuna walks away. 

When you scan the room for Ethan Cole, you find that he’s already looking at you. You give him a polite wave, positive that whatever Eren just did with Ricky James must have swayed him some type of way, as you lean back against the edge of the table. And the table dips slightly under you, nearly making you spill the glass of lemonade, when you find Scott Clarkson leaning against at your side, his beady eyes fixed on you. 

“Y/N. It’s nice to see you.” 

“I’m so glad you were finally able to learn my name.” you respond.  

Scott clicks his tongue in his cheek, before extending his hand out to shake it at you. You begrudgingly oblige, skin curling with disgust as he presses a kiss to your knuckles, and leans back. 

“I’ll admit, I had you pegged all wrong in the beginning. But I’m sure that you can understand, it can be so hard to trust new and upcoming talent like that when you run a big company.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure.” you deadpan. 

“I think we should let bygones be bygones. I even think that we could be useful to one another. If you really wanted full ownership of your albums back, I could get it for you. Just a few movies, here and there, and they’d be back in your hands.” 

You feel your throat dry. 

“What did you just say to me?” 

“I’m sure you know I am well acquainted with Danny and Sareen. I’m sure I could persuade them, after a little give and take.” 

You thank the heavens that the stylists had stacked each of your fingers with a perfect set of silver rings. You sure it made it hurt even more when you slapped him across the face. 

“You have some nerve, you asshole. Don’t even think about-” 

You feel a set of arms on your biceps, squeezing hard, as you turn your head to find Levi at your side. You shake your head, turning back to Scott, who no whas a group of people around him, inspecting the red mark you’ve left on his cheek. 

“Levi. Fucking, get off.” 

“This is not the time for this. You and Eren are leaving, you’ve had too much to drink.” Levi responds, pushing you out into the cold air outside the hall and near the taxi. 

Eren’s leaning against the car door and he quickly jumps up at the sound of your voice, meeting Levi at your side. 

“Did you hit him, Y/N? They’re saying that you hit him.” 

“I slapped him.” 

Eren pinches his mouth into a line. 

“Did he hit back?” Eren asks. 

“What? No. Levi started yanking me off of him before I could get another one in.” 

Eren passes Levi a thankful smile, before ducking your head into the taxi, and tuning back into your rambling. 

“He’s such a dick. He fucking had that coming, trying to offer me a career like I don’t know who he is and what he fucking does. Like really, even down to being an opportunist, does he really think I care about my album that was already stolen from me over all of my friends? Over you? I think he’s a psychopath and we didn’t even get to solidify the deal with Ethan Cole or-” 

“Okay, Y/N. Relax. It’s-” 

“We have to do something to get his attention. Something crazy. I have an idea but…you have to follow my lead, okay?” 

Eren’s slightly hesitant. Only because he can tell that you really are tipsy from the light pink tint in your cheeks and the way that you’re shaking your legs. But he hates to tell you no, especially when you’re staring at him so expectantly, waiting for an answer. 

And when you drag Eren into a sweaty tattoo parlor, Eren realizes that maybe you’re well past tipsy. 

“I technically picked what we did last time, Eren. So it’s your turn. Just make sure it’s something like…fucking crazy. Like iconic.” 

Eren has an idea. But he can’t say it. Because you can’t possibly get that tattooed. And he’s sure that it’s showing on his face, because now you’re giving him an excited smile, jumping up and down on your feet waiting for him to tell. 

“Oh my god. What is it? Tell me right now.” 

“Uh. The moon and the ocean.” Eren responds. 

You frown. 

“We already basically have that as a tattoo, Eren. With the fish? And I can tell that’s not what you were going to say.” you respond. 

Eren sighs. 

“Y/N. It’s too much.” 

“Nothing’s too much! Come on, it’s you and me that we’re talking about. We got fucking matching tattoos when we were like eighteen and released songs about quite literally fucking each other on the same day! We can get a crazy tattoo!” 

“You’re so crass when you’re drunk, Y/N.” 

“The word Levi used was homicidal.” you respond. 

Eren sighs, as he tells you his idea, and watches your face light up. And after the fact, Eren can’t help but feel like he’s on top of the world.

Because for a second time now – the two of you are running down the streets, bathed in the dim lamplight and laughing into the night. Matching tattoos of each other’s names on the inside of your lips, a confession on the tips of your tongues like you were two soulmates destined to be together.

That’s the moment you’re able to coin it. 

You’re head over heels in love with Eren Jaeger. Again. Maybe even worse, more desperately than the first time.

And as the perfect cherry on top, Ethan Cole sends you a message confirming the deal the following morning.

--

--

next part linked here

an: are you catching my hint for the songs in our next chapter.....which is an AWARDS SHOW CHAPTER ARE WE READY. and don't worry....scott clarkson and danny/sareen welcome to your tape...this next chapter is for you

(pls tell me someone gets the pussy joke that megumi made and that im not just horrendously chronically online)

taglist: @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636

[rookschnapps]

Previous anon here! I would love to read how you did it. Im suprised you managed to did it in Google Docs. I thought you used a program similar to InDesign or programs that are more suitable for graphic design ANYWAY i am also curious how many chapters you used. Was it seven? Did you stop there because the length was convinient or because a story arc ended there? I am not really good at identifying where an arc begins and stops. okay bcgjkkcj THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

YAYYY I LOVE TALKING ABOUT ARTS AND CRAFTS!!

gonna put this in main tags as well this time so:

this is my bookbind of trod pt 1 :] by @bamsara which u can and SHOULD read here

ok so this first bit is how I made the pdf and then the next bit is how I turned it into signatures for binding. Then the last bit is splitting up chapters and stuff. If anyone has any advice or tips on what I could do differently (for free or v cheap haha) please let me know!! This is so fun I love learning and discussing and making things

first thing I did was grab a real book so I could take a look at where they put the title page, where they left the pages blank, etc

I then formatted the title and contents and stuff in docs by messing with font and position on the page (etc) until it was to my liking! THEN I realised I wanted an image on the very first page so I went back and put that in. I got to design it it was sooo fun

OH. I ALSO STUCK A SHAMURA QUOTE WHERE THE DEDICATION WOULD BE. HEHE

thennn I went and changed all the heading, title and normal text options for the doc so that they looked nice! I used times new roman size 16 :) but that might be a bit big for most people. I like bigger text

^^ that step was important so that when I started copy-pasting in the text it would all come out the right size automatically. also so that my chapter titles and notes pages looked consistent

next I downloaded trod from ao3 as a html file! I found it works better than pdf bc there aren’t any page breaks

I just copied and pasted trod in one chapter at a time and added in the notes and summary for every chapter where I wanted it and that worked pretty well for me

THEN SPELLCHECK. I didn’t want to do it automatically (docs had some horrible opinions sometimes. Also kept trying to erase bits of the writing style that made perfect sense and sound beautiful???) so I had to confirm every change which took a while but I think was worth it

lastly I added page numbers. They did not want to cooperate with me and I still do not understand the tiny fuckers, but I managed to get them in the middle of the page for book 2 so it looks less weird (hurrah). There’s a button for it

then I saved it as a pdf!

OK NEXT THING : SIGNATURES

this post is my bestest friend (link is to a tumblr post that was really helpful)

and this webpage is how I got a pdf of the signatures (it’s the same one linked in the post)

CHAPTERS:

yeah I split it into chunks of 7 chapters! Book 1 ends on the argument in the field bc a) it was getting wayyy too long and b) I want to lend it to my friends and that’s a delightful emotional cliffhanger. Book 2 (which is actually finished. I’ll try and post photos later today or something) ends after hekets release from purgatory which is I thiiiink another 7 chapters? Book 3 is gonna be a bit longer bc I want to do it up to the most recent chapter, which I was gonna leave out bc of length but then it came out and I went insane haha

OH in book 2 I did drop caps and title decoration which I designed in procreate and then imported into docs and moved around as imported photos. I’ll put a bunch of pictures at the end too

THANK U FOR ASKING!!! If there’s anything else u want to know then let me know!! :]

[saber-monet]

Hey I came across your post about embracing the “manifestation coincidences”, and one about making sure to not be unfazed by how well things play out. I’d like to ask how you make peace with the ‘insanity’ of it? Bc I think I’ve shifted to a higher timeline and now am living a better reality. But I spent the last 2 days looking up parallel universes on reddit & now I’m scared I’m going to run into my doppelganger and get killed or that I’m actually supposed to have died in my actual universe.. I’m scared and I can’t talk about it with anyone in fear of them suddenly turning into a demon just like in horror films.

Hey! First of all, everything you’re experiencing is more common than you might think, especially for people who, like me, grew up skeptical or secular about spirituality and are only just now exploring it. Shifting your mindset and embracing manifestation can feel so surreal at first—like you’re stepping into something “forbidden” just by allowing yourself to believe that things can work out in your favor.

I went through the exact same thing when I started three years ago; I felt paranoid, like I was breaking some unspoken rule just by thinking positively. I promise—you’re not going to run into a doppelgänger or anything bad. That’s just your mind processing a huge new perspective.

One thing that’s helped me is thinking of the “surrealness” you’re describing as an emotion, like anxiety or sadness. It can feel jarring, but it’s temporary and will pass. When I feel that surrealness creeping in, I just acknowledge it: “Yeah, this feels weird right now, but it’s going to end soon.” I know my mind will eventually latch onto a less intense thought process, and things will go back to ‘normal’, and so will yours—sometimes in 30 seconds, other times in a couple of minutes. but you will feel fine again.

Also, if affirmations work for you, lean into those! Remind yourself that you’re safe and fully capable of handling these new feelings. It’s all part of the process, and you’re going to get more and more comfortable with it.

And honestly, one tip? Steer clear of Reddit or anything that brings up new fears. I stay away from things that make me question my safety and, instead, focus on what feels grounding and calming, whether that was music, a walk, cooking, talking out loud or even talking to chatgpt helps me (there's a voice call option on the app so you can talk to it like a real person)—anything to keep me from overthinking.

i treat myself like a worried child, what would you say/do to a worried child to make them feel better? You would tell them everything's gonna be OK, put on their favorite comforting TV show/movie/musical, give them a snack, you remind them that you're here for them and that eventually they will laugh about this moment in the future etc.

Watching Abraham Hicks Workshop Excerpt videos helped me so much too (she talks a lot about exactly this topic, and if you’re interested, I can DM you a link, just message me). And these videos, she speaking to people who have gone through the exact same thing that you're going through and had the exact same questions/ concerns/ stories about reality creation.

Her seminars really put into perspective that I wasn’t alone, and neither are you. You will make sense of this experience. You'll know what works for you and what doesn't. It's a personalized journey.

You’re in good company, and there’s an entire global community of people who get exactly what you’re going through. Trust that you’re okay, you're being properly guided each step of the way and give yourself permission to enjoy the experience. You're not the first person or the last person to go through stuff like this.

There's a lot of older people who have gone through the " awakening process" and have reacted differently to it. Some become monks/teachers, others use it to grow their business and achieve their goals, others just use it here and there to get the things that they want and live a relatively normal life, and some never use it again . Don't feel overwhelmed by it, you have the choice on how you wish to proceed .

(also I'm going to dive into this topic in another post im currently working on: but you can ask for less synchronicity and for things to go back to “normal”. Just because you've learned this new information and this new way of interacting with reality doesn't mean that you have to continue if you don't want to. ( Yes, you have lifted the metaphorical "veil" but you can also put it back down)

Also, please reach out , or anybody reading this post, if you wanna chat. I did this alone, I got to this place of balance, reassurance and comfort alone, and I would have really like to have somebody to talk to so I'm here if you need me.

[bellaxgiornata]

hiiii

this might seem like a bit of a weird ask, but you seem super nice and i thought it would be okay if i asked you ! (also sorry if this is long)

i’ve been part of the daredevil fandom for a long time and i’ve been writing about dd for over a year and a half now. before i was writing for this fandom, i wrote fanfic about an entirely different genre for like 10+ years. when i was in the other fandom i wrote exclusively on wattpad, and i made a lot of online friends and was a part of writing communities and it made the experience so much better ! but since i changed directions (and started posting on ao3 first and wattpad second) i’ve had a hard time getting into the dd community.

i’m still new to using tumblr for fanfic so i haven’t posted anything of mine here/ followed many writers here (and i’m working on that !). but i was wondering if you had any advice on how to start chitchatting with other people in the fandom ? it feels super cringy for me to be like “i love your work, maybe you’d like mine !” bc i don’t want people to think i’m just trying to promote myself (i promise i’m not). but i miss being involved in online writing communities. it was one of my favorite things in the other fandom and now i’m struggling to find a place here. i try to respond to comments and have reached out to one or two writers before but it didn’t really go anywhere /:

so, tldr; do you have any advice on getting into the writing community/ making friends in the daredevil fandom ?

(and side note i love your work and have been reading your stuff almost as long as i’ve been writing— i’ve reread FFTD so many times and CANNOT WAIT for more updates on TDAYW and ATY !)

thank you !! sorry again this was so long

Hey friend!! This is actually a really great question that I'm sure you're not alone in wondering about! I definitely agree with you though, making friends in the fandom makes the experience so much more enjoyable. I used to write on FFN until I took a couple of years break from fanfic when I was in grad school. I had never made friends in fandom back then because I hadn't found communities and ways to accomplish that via FFN. Even when I came back to fic on AO3 and shortly after I started writing for Matt, I hadn't made friends right off the bat. But I always tried to respond to comments on my stories which is when I started to realize how fun the community was.

My answer is going to be long, so I'm going to put it below the cut! Also anyone else here reading this, if you have tips for making friends, please feel free to share them!!

Honestly tumblr I think is the way to go for making friendships. I have never used wattpad so I can't speak to the way it is set up, but AO3 doesn't quite allow for that too well because we can only communicate via comments. Tumblr gives so many more opportunities to meet lots of others and comment or send messages or share others' content with reblogs.

It's totally not necessary to share your stories on here, but I think that does help. Or to maybe even just promote your updates on your other platforms with links. Because it gives people an opportunity to come here and talk about your stories with you. But I think content creators, whatever you're making, probably make friends a little easier because we are providing something for others to (hopefully) interact with and consume.

As for reaching out to others, I cannot speak to how everyone would react because I know we all have different boundaries, but I think commenting/comment reblogging regularly on writer's or artist's work that you like is a good start. Or sending friendly messages or asks to someone. Just always be sure to be friendly and respectful.

I personally tend to notice the people I'm always seeing chatting in my notifications and then have made friends that way. It just seems like a natural progression if you're often talking to some people, conversations start to shift outside of just that content. Maybe to the show and then to other things. It's how I also tend to interact with others on here in order to make friends; commenting and sharing their work, sending asks or participating in their events, sending a message with something nice in it.

Though I agree, I think your initial comments to someone shouldn't be something about coming to read your work because it feels pressuring. I had a negative experience with that and didn't know how to handle that when I first got into the fandom and it made me uncomfortable because I never want to be rude or hurtful. So instead, maybe find ways to relate as a writer if you see them talking about writing in general, or other ways to make a comment that mentions that you also write. If they have time and want to read your work they will! And if not, that's okay too! I personally have a growing list of TBR and I mean nothing offensive if I can't get to someone's work, I just personally don't have as much time to read for example.

For me, I just sort of fell into making friends on here because of my writing. And I met so many other talented artists because of that and I've become "fans" of them as well and have had friendships form that way. And it's not just content creators, I've made friends with many wonderful people in the community who are reading my works too! It's fun to chat and dissect the show or to relate about other things (I'm a mom and have met other lovely moms here).

So my advice is to just keep reaching out and talking to people! Some conversations might lead somewhere and some might not. And that's okay! Everyone is different. I personally think the Daredevil fandom as a whole is absolutely amazing and full of wonderful and talented individuals who are more often than not open to making friends ❤️ I always am!

And like I said above, for anyone that has any other tips, please feel free to add them!

(And thank you so much!!! ❤️ I'm so glad you enjoy those stories!!)

[magicalink]

hello! it's me, the same anon in this ask: https://www.tumblr.com/magicalink/784222458226130944/hot-take-but-it-really-sucks-that-i-cant-see?source=share

something i forgot to say, and i'm sorry if I ever made you think you did something wrong (you didn't, i promise), is that it's not just you who write scara the way i mentioned, so i see that dynamic more in others' fics than in yours.

one thing i hate the most about most scara x reader """fluff/comfort""" fics is that they always make him jump through hoops just to not directly say "I love you" and instead say something else (sometimes just insults), and then the reader SOME-FUCKING-HOW understands it as him saying those three words indeed.

not only does that royally annoy me, but it also makes me feel like i dont understand him at all, bc what the hell would that say about me if i cant pick up the meaning behind his words? am i so dumb as to only be able to take them at face value? what mean shit would he say next if i reacted negatively to them? would that make me, the reader, unworthy of his love? i could link a fic (not written by you) as an example, but it probably wouldnt be right, so i hope i explained it clearly.

this paranoia also hinders me from ever publicly posting the whole breadth of my selfship art/fanfics. while i know i could just block people who will harass me about it, it would still affect me if i ever get told "he wouldnt fucking say/do that". god forbid, i want my favorite fictional man to be nice to me to cope with life😕

so yeah, thank you for hearing me out and im sorry if all this sounded rant-y. i really will shut up next time😭 and please, you dont have to do anything for me

Don't worry, I love engaging in these type of discussions, I think it adds a lot of emotional depth and community to the fandom! So thank you for sending me a message, responding the last ask helped me a lot to reflect on ny past fanfics—most were written 2/3 yrs ago, and honestly I'm a completely different person nowadays, (for better or for worse) and I'm also in a different life stage too. It also helped me realize I don't vibe at all with those old fics anymore and that I want to write new ones, that probably revolve around other problems. I don't even know if that will be in this blog or in a new one.

Writing anything is therapeutic and writing indulgent things can help us understand our feelings and inner struggles better, and also serve as a hictoric record for our future selves of who we used to be. This blog and the stories I wrote (the few I posted and the countless ones sitting in my Drive that I never posted) helped me go through with life the same way paat works of original fiction helped me cope with trauma during childhood/early teenage years.

So whether you decide to post your writings or not, it is of course your decision, but by all means keep writing for yourself. I started writing formyself bc I had things to tell myself and things I needed to remember forever, and the only times I stopped writing were when I felt it stopped being genuine and started being performative. I think that as long as one isn't forced to write to get a paycheck, everything one writes should be self-indulgent. Money to survive or self-expression, I genuinely don't see another reason to write. I normally write the most when I feel the worst, when it feels like the demon of sadness and desperation is consuming me and the only way of exorcizing it is writing whatever is making me insane out.

If you have ideas that make you happy to re-read, by all means keep writing! You don't need to post it anywhere or share it with anyone if you don't want to. I only started posting it (and I only post like 10% of all I write) bc I wanted to find other people to fangirl over Genshin with.

The truth is that anonimity and virtuality make many people say mean things they wouldn't have the guts to say in real life, and online harrassment exists. There are very mean people out there, from simple dumb people who will criticize you over not sharing a headcanon instead of keep scrolling to straight up evil people who will send you death threats and stuff they wouldn't have the guts to say in real life. It's happened to everyone, it's happened to me too, and I used to be very upset about it 2 years ago when I shared my works for the first time. Now I got more serious things to focus on and whenever I get crap like that I just delete it and move on, I just focus on the positive, and I even have a notebook where I write the sweet messages and comments some people have made on my works 💙. But it's a shift of mindset that takes some time and growth (and pain) to make and it's 100% ok if you don't wanna go through that. Only post your stuff if you feel you have an actual desire to share and if you feel you're ready to ignore mean people and focus on the nice people.

Besides, I dont even know how old you are but if you are a minor I heavily advice you not to post anything nor interact with strangers online. I know I sound like a grandma or something but as someone who grew up with unsupervised internet access only nowadays (I'm about to turn 26) I realize how harmful it was. The internet is infested with predators especially in fandom spaces and even if one is lucky enough not to be targeted by one, exposing one's most intimate feelings (as a fanfiction can often be an outlet for our emotions) and getting a negative reaction can be very hard for someone who is in their formative years.

(Anyway that was just in the remote case you are a minor in which case pls don't engage with my blog as it's mostly sexual content)

If you're an adult my advice is just sit with yourself and ask yourself, 'why is it that I want to share my works with other people?' 'Am I prepared to block the mean people and focus on the nice people?' Etc. And see how you really feel.

Anyway no one asked me for advice but I feel like talking about this as it's a veey interesting topic for me 🙃

I 100% understand self-indulgent shipping to cope with life as I've been doing it for years, but I also understand that it's necessary to understand that our beloved husbandos aren't people, they're ideas. Ideas are eternal, ideas save or ruin lives. There's a reason a person's comfort character is one characrer and not another, and there's a reason most of Scara fans also share a lot of favorite characters from other franchises. I feel that Scaranation is one, and even if we're vastly different people from different countries, ages, ideologies, etc, we still resonate with the same idea: a character that fears abandonment and betrayal and struggles with recognizing himself as human, someone who feels guilty, unworthy and alone. We all love him and every one of us gives Scara our own spin in our self-indulgent fantasies.

We all love Scara and share him because he's an idea that lives in our hearts and reminds us of our own struggles with being human and how hard relationships with other humans are, and we all have the right to headcanon him however the hell we want. We might share those headcanons or not. Hell, sometimes I stumble upon Scara fics or headcanons that make me roll my eyes and I hate them, but I just ignore them and keep scrolling. I wish everyone did the same with the content thry don't like, lol. But when I receive those dumb comments of "omg he is so out of characters" I just block. If a person doesn't understand what a headcanon is, they shouldn't participate in fandom 🙂 So if a person ever tells you "lol, your favorite character wouldn't love you" what you should feel for that person is pity, utter pity if they're an adult, because what kind of adult says that? It's seriously something you would hear a bully say to another kid in primary school. When I hear an adult human being use that as an insult I seriously just lose my already 0 fate in society 🙃 Like bro, don't you have idk, bills to pay, a job to do, a college subject, whatever besides acting like a baby online? 🙃 Pls if someone tells you this crap you should just pity them. Fictional characters exist to make us reflect or bring us joy and these people are just...idk, reliving their school bully years online? They should seriously get a job or something.

Seriously, I dont understand that mindset some people have, and the only fanfics I'm against are those who romanticize or defend messed up, illegal shit I won't name here to avoid triggering anyone. In those cases I just report to whatever platform and block.

And regarding Scaramouche not being able to say "I love you", I just personally think that canon Scara (nowadays the Wanderer) would take a lot of time to heal and to trust and dare to love again because of everything he's been through, just what he makes me feel with his in game dialogue idk. Sometimes he's very caring towards the player, but mainly through his actions, as sometimes he can be very harsh with his words (like those aggresive lines he has in the Theatre intermissions lol, he makes me so mad) I personally feel he'd be the kind of person who prefers actions over words, and honestly being with someone like that would be really hard for me irl, as I genuinely need words. (Heck if I don't need words, I tried to write my first book at 4 yrs old 🙃) Words are my favorite language and the only one that bring me peace of mind. I really tend to overthink everyone's actions so I just rather have people explicitly tell me what they feel, just the way I like to do, but many people irl feel really uncomfortable doing it or just can't articulate their feelings with words the way I do. Some people say these traits I have are very autistic coded, but I've never been diagnosed with autism, just OCD 🙃 Sometimes I do think I might be on the spectrum but I very much doubt someone would be willing to diagnose an adult woman my age in my country 🙃 It would make a lot of things make sense though 🤷‍♀️

I'm kinda tired of the same tsundere-non communicative Scara trope though (I've been reusing it for like 2 yrs already) so these past few months I've been working on an entirely different fic, modern AU, less traumatized Scara, in which he is a lot softer let's say. Sadly I don't think you'll ever gonna read it bc I'm writing entirely in Spanish (my native language) and I doubt I will translate it to English 😞. But in this fanfics I'm exploring different life struggles and Scara matures a lot and supports a very insecure reader through a lot of difficult situations and they deal with the hardships of new adulthood together.

Anyway if there's a take or Scenario on Scara you would like to see, my requests are open and I'm committed to writing the ones I accept as fast as possible from now on. My rules on requests are on my pinned post.

Thank you for writing to me!

[suecoi]

Hi! I don’t mean this in an accusing way , because I’m very sure you mean well. But I wonder if creating a new side blog purely for donation posts is helpful for the people in need? Does it have any followers? (if it does, then good but I just wondered) Bc the purpose of reblogging those donation posts is to spread them to as many people as possible… Of course I can’t tell you what to use your blogs for and how to decide which posts go where and I do understand wanting a fandom blog to be about fandom. I guess I myself am also just trying to find out the best way to help. I do notice when I rb dono posts onto my blog, barely anyone touches them, and it saddens me. In your experience, has creating a sideblog helped with this? Do more people rb? Idk how that would make sense but I’m just really trying to work out what the best way to help is. Creating a new blog purely for donation posts feels so counterintuitive since I can’t imagine ppl would go out of their way to follow it if they can barely be bothered to share the posts I already reblog onto the blog they do follow

Hi! Thank you for sending your ask to me and I'm sorry if it took me a long time to reply. If I'm being perfectly honest with you, I also am still looking for ways where I can offer the most help.

I will say two things: When I started reblogging things from my og account to creating a new account, my og account was not only new, but it also barely had any followers. If you take a look at my account, you will see I mostly reblogg posts from other people. Therefore, I barely have any followers. So, moving to another account for me to do those things on would be no harm. This is of course different for a person who has a wide audience on their account.

Now, I do have much more followers on my side blog compared to my fandom blog, which is a positive thing, but it's still not a high number, and it includes more people who are asking for help, rather than people who are looking to support others. And I also have the problem that whether it be on my fandom blog or on my side blog, I barely have any people actually reblogging my posts. Mostly, it's just people sending me messages to please reblog their posts and donate to their pages. All this considered, I am not sure how successful my side blog is. I suggest, if you have an audience on whatever blog it is, you should share donation links on that account, but for me, that is not the case. Apart from that, I am also still looking for ways how to support them better, apart from donating, obviously.

If anyone has ideas on how to improve my side blog, please do share it!

[threehuskiesinatrenchcoat]

Well well well, we‘re back at it again.

You‘ve seen a big part of this before bc I can’t keep this shit from you, it’s a bit embarrassing ngl lmao. I finished it now tho!

The rest of it is on ao3 bc I refuse to post smut on here. Do others do it? Yea. Have I read it? Yea. I won‘t tho. I wanna be able to show my blog to friends, sorry. Can‘t have horny mfs on there for that /hj

This drabble is inspired by the John Wick movie-verse. people r legit sleeping that one

For easy access imma give y’all the link for the series real quick (and yes, I made it into a series, so any and all comments on later chapters r lost but it’s easier to navigate now, hopefully):

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3828004

Enjoy!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Vargas was looking at him, all half-lidded eyes and contemplative smirk and it was driving him insane. They’d been at the bar for about an hour now, low lights dancing through the room, bathing it in a dizzying mix of pinks and blues, drinks flowing freely for everyone around them. Phillip knew this wasn’t the moment to get drunk, though. The mission to infiltrate the club and keep an eye on their mark had priority, no matter how much attention his mission partner was showering him with.

“If you’re not careful, someone’s gonna see the way you look at me”, he mumbled into his drink, surveying the dancefloor. Their mark wasn’t as far away as just a minute ago, making her way towards the bar they were sitting at. It was an opportunity, but he needed the Mexican to keep a cool head if he wanted it to work.

“What if I want them to see? The type of rumours it could spark…” The other’s taunting grin irritated him and he shot him a frosty glare.

“It won’t be as fun when the families get involved, believe me.” He ignored Vargas’ dismissive scoff and noted the mark’s position just two seats over. Honestly, there were better ways to spend a Saturday night, but the woman had dirt on high-ranking members of both their families. Discretion was needed and goodwill had to be shown, hence the involvement from both families – no one could secure the information to use it against the other later. Of course, it was Phillip’s luck to get paired with Vargas. Their continued shared work in the past, if reluctant, had proven successful and success was all their families needed right now. Personal vendettas were of no importance in this, never mind any other kind of previous mingling.

With a last warning look towards the other, who rolled his eyes and ordered another drink, he turned around, acting surprised at seeing the young woman close to them. He smiled charmingly when he caught her eye and feigned interest. “What’s a fine-looking lady like you doing here. We haven’t met before, have we?”

She seemed a bit suspicious of him, but smiled nonetheless, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear, revealing a glittering earring. “I don’t think we have, no.”

“That sounds about right. I’d remember a woman as stunning as you. I’m Jason by the way, it’s nice to meet you,” he drawled, putting on his Southern charm and holding out his hand. He didn’t like leaning into it, but many people outside the South liked it enough for him to use it again and again.

She gingerly took his offered hand, shook it once and they got talking. Marienne was French and had studied computer science, she owned a small poodle and had a sister. Phillip nodded and smiled along despite knowing all of it already. There was nothing new she could tell him except where she had hidden the information she had hacked their databases for. He would find out, one way or another, the pressure of his gun against his back where he had tucked in into his waistband a welcome reassurance.

Marienne smiled at him again as she leaned forward, asking him to come home with her for the night. It went just as he had hoped it would, but before he could agree, a hand landed on his hip, making him lose his train of thought as Alejandro stood right beside them, eyeing the woman. Graves’ heartbeat synced with the song‘s bass reverberating through the club, heat spreading from where their bodies touched. He must’ve been listening in to their conversation and gotten up when he heard her request. Something dark glimmered in his eyes and Phillip had a bad feeling about it.

The Mexican looked her up and down and then spoke, voice rough and dangerous. “I didn’t think you would want to get back at me that badly. Is she supposed to make me jealous? You can do better.” It was clear he was talking to Phillip despite looking at their target. Graves was speechless; partially out of surprise, partially out of anger. Couldn’t Vargas take the mission serious for even a moment? This was a huge opportunity he was ruining, as the woman looked from him to Phillip and back again, a sliver of apprehension and fear in her eyes.

She was starting to stand up. He had to save this somehow. Standing as well, he forcefully, if discreetly, removed the other’s hand from his hip and pushed him away as inconspicuously as possible. “He’s joking, I’m not with him.” He smiled reassuringly at her and winked. “Why don’t we get outta here, it’s getting late.” She nodded, but was hesitant about it. Graves slipped a tracker into her handbag while she was distracted by Alejandro still only a few feet away from them. It turned out to have been the right decision, as the other grabbed Phillip’s hand still keeping him in place and brought it up to his mouth to kiss the inside of his wrist.

“Oh please, you can drop the act. My attention is all yours.” He practically growled the last words, sending a shiver down Graves’s spine. This was not the plan. Their target took that moment to give a hasty goodbye and vanish into the crowd. Angry, the American turned towards his assigned partner and glared at him. The bar was more populated now, so he ripped his hand out of the other’s and seized his arm, steering Vargas outside and into a nearby alley.

“What the fuck was that? We almost had her!” Alejandro just grinned and Phillip’s blood started to boil. He pushed the other up against the dirty wall of the alley, the suit’s lapels clutched in his fists and his own nose just a few centimetres away from the Mexican’s. With bared teeth, he had to hold himself back from pulling a knife and getting rid of the nuisance in his grasp. “Why can’t you behave like the professional you’re supposed to be for one evening.”

WELL WELL WELL dw dw ily and i would be offended if you _didn't_ give me spoilers to chew on sjhgfdjsfhgsdf >:)

with that i can finally post this thing i drew for it!!! yay

yall, go read the whole thing NOW as usual im losing my mind and screaming and crying and everything in-between im gonna bite my laptop in half and it's gonna be YOUR fault sir

[kudamono94]

So after getting back into Mortal Kombat not too long ago due to getting Ghostface for Christmas, I forgot this guy exists and by 'this guy' I mean Homelander - that said, I also recently found out this dude got put into COD, and although I haven't seen The Boys (and therefore know next to NOTHING about it lol), listening to his voice I got to thinking: huh, you know this guy's VA* wouldn't be half bad as Kizami!

That brings us to here, naturally lol - this took me a day to complete, and while it definitely shows/could use some work, I mostly just wanted to smash together some crappy memes and test out a new video editor I got for myself (this is like the 4th one I've tried and so far it's worked a LOT better than my previous ones, so hopefully I can try making more stuff in the future whenever I get the chance?)

My main inspo for this was based off of those short text meme based videos I used to watch all the time growing up (think something like this, for example), and again, while this video isn't close to being perfect, I had a lot of fun putting it together and testing out the features in the editor, so there's that I guess ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Anywho, to anyone that sees this, please enjoy and here's looking forward to whenever I can crawl out from the rock that is work to post something original again orz -I'm still actively working on clearing out my likes and ask box, so making this video was really just a treat for myself ngl. After I get my blog sorted out, I'm planning on updating some stuff on my AO3 so whenever I get around to that eventually, I will do what I can ¯_(ツ)_/¯~

(Credits to both the original audio and links to the artists whose fan art is used in the video are under the cut -anything else is edited screencaps from the manga BUT pretty much the theme for the whole video really was just me taking random/weird pictures of Kizami I had on my phone but set to different voice lines of Homelander from his operator skin in COD)

*From what I understand, Homelander's actual actor portrayed him in the animated spin - off of The Boys as well as in COD, but didn't in Mortal Kombat, which is unfortunate bc imo Antony Starr is actually a decent VA! That said, whenever The Boys ends, I think if he did more animated work that would be pretty cool, but after hearing how Homelander is supposed to ACTUALLY sound outside MK made me immediately think of Kizami lol, so while I doubt Starr would ever do anime works, with Corpse Party getting a new game sometime this year (at least according to some listings I've seen online), I think I've definitely found a good headcanon voice for him that rivals the previous one I had (up until now, seeing their similarities with each other, I've always headcanoned Kizami sounding like Zapp Brannigan ngl, but again Homelander isn't a bad voice claim either). Also sorry for the walls of text, but if you've read everything up until now, thank you~

Original Audio Used Here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGKFUSRrDwU

Link to the Original Fan Artists' Works Used:

https://x.com/canaan_000

https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/764377

https://www.deviantart.com/katkat-tan/gallery/46699718/fanart

https://www.tumblr.com/kizashige

https://x.com/hazime_purasu

https://www.tumblr.com/yama-gotchi

https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/207524

[aydaptic]

Your comic is getting a lot of hits on ao3. I'm honestly surprised, not because of how much but because of how fast the numbers are rising. I know that fic was already popular by the numbers but your comic is in the top 10. of r9 fics.

To clarify... Top 10 in hits on AO3, not kudos, for those who might be confused. In terms of kudos, I'm only in the Top 50s. I'm number 11 in terms of comments. The written version of A&E is also number 1 on FanFiction.net being the only other site I've published fanfic on.

I was initially surprised myself.

Never expected my written fic -- not only the WebComic adaption -- to be popular in the 1st place. Despite how hated I am in the fandom for being unapologetically honest, I know I have a phckton of ppl who hate my guts and consume my content regardless adding to the hits.

Hell, I would have to write an essay on how popularity is determined in fandom to cover everything. Why? Bc there are so many factors as to why the Top 10 fics out there are popular in the 1st place.

The biggest determining factors... chapter count and the year they were published.

The more chapters, the more often has a work been on the "recent works" page, and not been buried beneath all the new works.

The earlier in the fandom, the more ppl were in said fandom.

If you look at the Top 10s in terms of kudos, 6/10 were completed in 2018/2019 when the fandom was the most active. The other 4/10 have 14, 30, 54, 140 chapters respectively. That means they've shot to the top of the front page -- seen as a "recent work" -- for the amount of chapters they have. That's a lot. Just like my WebComic has shot to the front page of "recent works" 19 times.

There are other factors:

in 2018, when there were fewer works, ppl had lower standards (they gave kudos to/read pretty much everything they could find.)

in 2018, the more ppl were part of the fandom/consuming the content (...and the later the year the fewer ppl are engaging with new content.)

word of mouth.

nostalgia for earlier works.

happenstance.

ppl constantly going back to a work trying to replicate what made them popular (bc they themselves want to be popular.)

sometimes, a work -- both new/old -- is simply GOOD and/or UNIQUE (although rare) and becomes 1 in a million where ppl consistently go back to re-read.

etc.

I now know many reasons why my work became so popular:

I'm heavily engaging with my readers and reply to every single one (not just "thank you, next" but actual in-depth replies if they leave longer comments bc I'm legit interested in what they have to say.)

my works are so different/unique meaning they stand out.

ppl see that I genuinely love the ship and don't just make content for clout like many creators out there (both 3D artists and others.)

ppl see I put a phckton of effort into it.

I take fanfiction seriously and deserving of respect.

I don't just write fluff pieces -- there's a genuinely deep story/explanation behind all my works/decisions and a lot of moral lessons.

I have a better grip on how the brains of 30+ y/o men, and gay men in general, work making my content organic/realistic/genuine.

I consistently post content related to the WebComic -- whether it be teasers, separate renders, ASKS, etc. -- and put a link in those posts.

In terms of hits, I know many ppl re-read my WebComic regularly. That adds up to the hits. I've even been fortunate enough to have ppl make credited fan edits using the images -- fan edits that I've reblogged on my X/Twitter -- and so they ofc have to go back to save the images they want to use. The reason why I mentioned comments earlier is another factor that adds to the hits. When I reply, ppl often return to reply back, as it sometimes sparks longer conversations.

Simply put... I actively work for it not to be forgotten and buried underneath all the other new works that come in almost every single day. I consistently bring attention to it. By doing so, ppl are either reminded my works exist and want to re-read, or completely new readers come in to see what all the fuss is about.

[zeltqz]

niyaaaa do u have any tips for people who wanna get into fic writing? 👀

i don’t really get how the whole posting format for fics works on here tbh 😭 and like your info area it’s so cool

YEAH OFC!! btw dm me your username so i can follow and support you <3

tip 1- the posting format isnt that hard to get used to actually its just you create a tumblr text post and then copy and paste your fic onto it, add the tags and stuff then post it. if you want to add banners, headers and stuff to make it look better then go ahead, just add images to the text post

tip 2- the info area is the same as above, just add pictures of your choice etc to the text post, add your information, name, age, fav things etc and then to link posts to your post, highlight where u want the link to go, then copy the link of the post u want linked then press the hyperlink that looks like two chains linked together when you highlight the text if that makes sense? sounds like a lot but its rlly not i promise haha

tip 3- always type your fics on other apps like word or google docs since they have an auto save feature!! i dont reccomend typing your fics on tumblr since one if the app crashes, it doesn't automatically save your work so everything you wrote will get deleted (some versions of tumblr do have autosave, my laptop has it but my phone and iPad doesn't, so i dont rely on it)

tip 4- idk if you want tips on actual fic writing or just how to get your fics onto tumblr but ill help you with that anyway. with me when i write fics i always imagine it out in my head. theres some of my fics where i just went with the flow and wrote wgatever came to mind and those are the fics i hate the most because they dont rlly make sense to me. theyre always so random and it just seems rushed and bad.

i picture my fics like a scene in my head and whatever i want the character to do, think, say or feel i write that shit down asap. i use other online sources to help get more descriptive like the emotion theasurus <- honestly one of my favourite things to use ever, they have so much body language to use for every emotion in the damn book

dialogue is also something i find difficult. i've improved i personally feel like but its still hard for me especially if im writing a new character. i never want to make the character seem OOC so i do lots of research before hand. i normally use the wiki to read up on a characters personality.

for example i'll use ran for this since he's like 99% of my account lmao. in the wiki, he's described as "naturally whimsical toward others which makes him inscrutable" though ran doesnt have many scenes in the manga (which i hate bc i love him sm) its impossible to actually write him down to a tee so i use that naturally whimsical description to make him playful, charismatic, carefree etc, going off what little information i have with him.

getting a characters personality down is what can make or break a dialogue. for me when im reading a fic of a character and their dialogue is so OOC it puts me off and i dont even wanna read. so i apply my same fic icks to myself and think if I don't like seeing this and that in a fic, why would I incorporate those in my fics and have ppl get put off it if they have the same fic icks as me?

hope that makes sense!!

tip 5- dont rush yourself at all. i used to rush a few of my fics and i just ended up hating it so much after and fought bck the urge to delete them so many times but then i'd see people's comments and realise i was being too harsh on myself. i'd keep them up but i'd just hate seeing them get attention.

rushing only makes you hate your work and the quality of your work will decline if you are not in the right headspace.

thats also why i have the don't rush me thing in my rules because not only is it annoying to see people constantly asking for updates, it also makes me mad because i know i'll just put out a piece of garbage if i did rush.

also another tip don't give yourself deadlines!! if you know your writing consistency can be a little sloppy, don't tell your followers that you're going to upload every so and so day. if something happens and you miss the deadline, you'll feel bad and rush something out and most times out of ten, a rushed fic doesn't do well. so take your time and don't rush.

tip 6- dont listen to what other people say or feel obligated to write something you don't wanna. establish your boundaries!! for example, from day one i started this blog i said im accepting requests but i will not write anything to do with non-con, incest or minors. i made sure that was out there so i wouldn't feel uncomforable writing anything i wasn't comfy with.

there are people on this app that may like your writing and request you to write something for them. you are not obligated to write anything for anyone! don't feel like you have to just because they asked nicely.

if you want to accept requests you can im not saying you shouldn't, im saying don't feel like you have to. you always have a choice. its your blog.

tip 7- remember this isn't a job. you're allowed to take breaks, allowed to have a personal life. don't feel like you need to be updating every day. i used to think i was obligated to be uploading consistently at least every week because i was obsesssed with engagement and seeing peoples comments and was scared if i took a break ppl will unfollow. now i honestly don't care. i'm not active as much as i used to because of school and that's fine! if ppl want to leave, let them. don't feel like you're forced to keep being active in order to keep your follower count stable.

tip 8- this app can get really toxic sometimes. luckily enough i've only had one toxic anon in my inbox and i've been on this app for a year. some people have so many, some ppl get harrassed etc. if that happens to you just be prepared since there's no actual way to find out who's behind anons. you can turn off your anon options which means if ppl want to inbox you something then their account will be showing. some people arent comfortable with that and that's fine! i keep mine on because i want people to feel comfortable on my page.

just remember though if you ever feel like this app is getting overwhelming take breaks! for the sake of your mental health take breaks. i know so many writers on here that took breaks and came back healthier and stronger.

i feel like this tip goes for social media in general. as much as i love social media im aware how unhealthy it is. breaks are so important for you. remember that.

i can't think of anymore tips right now but if i have some more i will edit the post and add it on.

if u have anymore questions about the tumblr posting format dm me and ill help you out :))

[mcalhenwrites]

A break from social media and how I use it has really been good for me. I need to be careful not to be sucked back in again. I should aim to mostly just post updates, but I do want to talk about my characters/writing as well. I will continue promoting my book, and ofc my Patreon and KoFi which are both "MCalhen" ;) I've been thinking about taking most (not all) of my fics and original works out of the private collection on AO3. I have a dilemma with one fandom (it's a nightmare circus of drama and several authors were chased out or hurt well before me), but I hope to eventually have the nerve to overcome that and say, "Too bad, you have to put up with the existence of my writing alongside yours. Get over it." Another thing is that Rascal isn't coming out of the collection. I plan to delete it. It's getting edited, I'm adding a couple of scenes I think would benefit the storytelling, and I'm publishing it. :) I'm on the fence about whether or not to release the original Seasons with comments closed, bc while it might be fun to compare it to the new one... so many things have been improved. Maybe it's also important to realize that if someone is that fixated on saying an earlier draft is permanent, that's a them issue and has nothing to do with me. A lot of my current WIPs are divided between if I'm going to publish them or post them on AO3. I have a few that I'm uncertain about either way. I want to share some work for free, and I have some stuff that's dark enough, self-publishing isn't much of an option right now. Note that when I promote my patreon and kofi, it's for original writing and art. No fanfic or fanart. The only link it has to AO3 is that I draw sketches of things from original stories posted to AO3. I will never post commercial links to the site, as that is against TOS. Seasons will always be free. Which leads to another thought: I wonder if I could get away with crossposting it to any sites? (I considered fictionpress.) I'm feeling better and want to keep sharing my work. I want to keep monetizing some of it. I want to be an author. I also really want to share things for free. Seasons is one of those stories that resonates a lot with people, and I know how badly I've always needed a story like that told. It's why I write, is to tell stories I need. But that one is... uniquely special and personal. I always want it to be accessible without any paywall. But I still need to make a living. So some books will be sold. Some will not. Just slap me if I ever get to be one of those big names who thinks I can do whatever I want, like those people on AO3 who say that they won't update their fics unless you pay them on patreon. (That's something you report to AO3 as a violation btw) I don't know where a good place to ramble about my stories is - probably here, since people can send me asks about characters and stories - but I'd like to do that, bc I enjoy doing it. :'D Anyway, I have my goals mostly figured out. Maybe someday I can post more of my work without hiding it away (yes, what you see is a fraction of what I write). Maybe I can also publish and make enough money to afford things I need, including a house with a yard and garden.

[nescafes]

another ramble about hws Belarus specifically DenBela or my head is going to explode I'm so sorry let me get this out of my system and then I'll shut up because the entanglement of this rare pair is DELICIOUS

• Menaces, they will egg each other on to torment people for entertainment, repercussion are nonexistent in their heads. Unapologetically impulsive tag team.

• She is perfectly capable of bringing out something feral in him and 100% she's internally v much omg hot viking daddy lets go fuck shit up to heavy metal and make out in a gothic church.

• He will do literally anything she asks because he likes making her happy, would do anything to even chance getting a laugh out of her. Which links back up to the other two points tbh he's done some borderline evil shit to get her to laugh (straight up decked Sweden in front of everybody, Sealand cried, Finland had to be restrained by like 5 people, it was complete chaos but hey at least Natalya was having the time of her life)

• At dinner she gets a salad but eats most of his fries and Mathias doesn't care.

• He's let her use his phone for prank calls, now his number is blocked by both Poland and Lithuania. She thinks it's hilarious.

• Ivan was absolutely devo when he found out they were sleeping together, worst news of his life, cue the theatrics, little sister being a traitor again (has a relatively stellar working relationship w/ den he's just shattered that it's denmark dicking down his sister) and running amuck with one of his childhood tormentors how fucking dare you do this to me Natalya, why are you like this, that man is a DEMON- you two work completely fine with one another- and you are bringing him into THIS HOUSE no I don't care that you don't live with me anymore he's too FUCKING CLOSE- u literally talk shit about Sweden with him- DEMON.

• Shamelessly told Norway 'I'm like you but hotter and I fuck your boyfriend better, what are you going to do about it loser?' Nothing he did absolutely nothing.

• the daddy 'as a joke' thing from the last post was completely offhand but now it's in my head like a ear worm, fuck it that can stay. 50 points if he calls her kitten- the state of his back says enough.

• Takes sneaky pictures of him when he's asleep bc she thinks he looks cute, will also stay awake all night tracing all of his scars and counting his freckles.

• She's outright asked him if he ever killed somebody just for the sake of it and he just look at her like 'babe rlly?' and then she remembered how he was when he was younger and just kinda 'right, of course you have'. He won't confirm or deny.

• They 100% send each other nudes that are saved on their phones when they're in conferences, they've both got flawless poker faces but the people sitting behind them most certainly don't. Germany doesn't know if he wants to beat the shit out of Denmark or go somewhere to die in peace. Boo hoo poor little gay boy doesn't know what to do about getting a secondhand glance at Russia's sister's tits and knowing his neighbour is getting some.

• He talked sooooooooooooooooooo much shit when he saw Twilight on her bookshelf, he's a book snob and she despises (loves) it.

• He's also the coffee snob, but she's the alcohol gatekeeper, he can't argue with her on that one because yes vodka is more effective.

• Whenever she pops up with something completely out of left field he just goes with it automatically, like oh okay we're talking about this now, well yes of course humanity is doomed sweetie but I'm still waiting on my beer so their annihilation will have to wait 💕 (-:

• Netflix and no chill is v much a normal night

• He will manhandle her and it makes her dizzy when he does, she's obsessed, but he treats her like a fuckin queen no ifs no buts. Doesn't stop him from blowing her back out tho js. Definitely is able to do it while standing and only supporting her with his arms.

• Has stolen at least 5 articles of his clothing.

• They don't know what being quiet is AT ALL, teeth and nails and some weird shit we just don't want to talk about but safe (arguably they're both freaks) sane (mostly) and consensual.

• Tall, blonde, built, sus, has a history of control issues, definitely has abandonment issues, ur smile is a fucking front sir what fucked up things are going on in ur head yeah he's 100% her type and on the flip side she's into the occult, blonde, stoic, into sharp things, an immature smartass with a foul mouth, goth, into heavy metal, and can talk about literally anything at length = exactly his type (similarities to norway are not lost on her)

• First thing she said to him was 'You look like you have a big cock' Ivan was not happy at all, had to physically drag her away nO naTALYA 'but I want to touch his di-' STOP.

i have so much more this is a fucking curse i'm still not even close

[starglitterz]

i’m so glad i was able to make you smile! i hope your load lessens soon and that you’re able to breathe + have a moment to yourself after so much chaos. i know making changes to your blog may be scary, but ultimately it is your blog. i’ll interact as often as i can, i hope we can be good friends someday 🥹💗 i’m really excited to see your new theme btw, though i’m going to miss your xiao one; i associate you and xiao together, you are a package that can’t be separated :)

i think people should try to get to know the writer’s they admire, so i’ll be leaving a few questions that might help me get to know you more! 💌

you mentioned your blue lock favs being sae, isagi, nagi, reo + bachira. who’s your least favorite character (if you have one), if you don’t have a least favorite then simply name a character that just isn’t very interesting to you & why :D

do you have any comfort shows? if so, name them! i’m trying to broaden my movie collection hehe 🤲🏼

how did you come up with your aliases? they’re adorable, your choice in names is absolutely immaculate ✨

- 💤 anon

utc bc it got SO LONG this is so embarrassing i fear i may always be a yapper 😭😭😭 also warning for blue lock spoilers!! (post-u20 match)

yess everything has been SO chaotic recently 😭 esp w my irl i manage a lot of different things so it's a lil stressful but all worth it! the blog change-up was something i had been contemplating for a while and i asked a few of my friends (who are also on tumblr!) abt it first and they were all like "girl it's your blog do whatever you want" AHAHAH and honestly i needed that reminder!!! and bb don't even worry abt it, just interact whenever you want to & have the energy to and i'm sure we'll be great friends 💓 and omg HAHAHA I WAS WORRIED ABT THIS 😭 i was like omg;;; ppl aren't going to know me as the #1 xiao lover anymore;;; </3 but yes we are most definitely a package always & forever - we come in a pair 😋🩷!!

OMG OKAY!!! my least favourite... IGAGURI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and idk if it counts but also that old man whos in charge of the jp football team (aka the one always trying to sabotage blue lock and anri's boss) i will actually hunt down this man and murder him with my bare hands. /silly he's so annoying!!! and igaguri actually pisses me off so bad because WHAT DO YOU MEAN he got ahead and not KUNIGAMI??? ik that was ages ago in the manga but i am still Not over it. unrelated but kunigami is the definition of the 'died and came back wrong' trope </3 i do understand igaguri's whole thing of 'oh if i fail i have to work at my parents shrine' but lowk idgaf!! play better then bro he's barely doing anything half the time but he still got so far 😭😭😭

as for comfort shows,,, i was thinking abt this for a while and i think my comfort show would be gakuen babysitters!! (linked to the whole series on youtube - it's official dw!) if you haven't heard of it, it's basically abt a boy named ryuuichi and his younger brother kotaro. their parents died in an accident and they're both taken in by this old lady who's actually the dean of a school! so she says that since ryuuichi is so good w kids (he practically raised kotaro), in order for the two of them to continue living w her for free, he has to work at the school's daycare!! it does have some emotional moments, but it's mostly just sweet and silly fluff 🥹🩷 it literally makes me sooo happy whenever i watch it (except the first ep that lowk gives me high blood pressure LMFAO) and i had (lowk still have???) the biggest crush on ryuuichi all throughout highschool 😭 he's so sweet and gentle and guys who are good w kids are SUCHH green flags <3

ahh thank you so much!! i'm very fussy abt names so i'm glad you like mine 💓💓💓 for quill, it's actually the name i used on wattpad YEARSSS ago 😭 it comes from my favourite pokemon cyndaquil so i just took the 'quil' part and added an extra L!! (omg extraL by jennie and doechii mentioned?!?!??!) as for kira it's honestly just a name that i've always liked since i was a kid, and it reminds me of the jp word kira kira (meaning sparkly)!! and i feel like it suits me so it was easy to transition to adding kira as a name on this blog hehehe <333

I AM LITERALLY SO SORRY I TALKED SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭 genuinely someone take away my keyboard i just get even worse when im typing on pc HSKJDAKS PLEASE DON'T EVEN WORRY ABT REPLYING TO THIS EVER this is literally a wholeass thesis 😭 but ily thank you sm for sending such a sweet ask pookie have a lovely day!!! <333

[baekhvuns]

hi, sunbae! how have you been?

its 2 am in my timezone and i cant sleep so i'll be doing a quick update on how things have been around here since it has been some time. not sure if you or anyone around baekhvyunsville would want to know, tho. no rush to read and answer me, okay?

my last uni period was tough. i had to work hard, but the toughest part of it was dealing with how i treat myself academically bc i was always the smart-kid-with-the-greatest-grades in school but uni's different, so i always want to be the best in everything. perfeccionism sucks, and im learning how to deal with it.

in this note, we had so many talks about the genocide in uni (i double major in human sciences and other subject) and it's v curious how the western midia puts so much effort in talking ab hamas but not even half of it is used to speak about how much innocents israel murders every day. it's been hard to cope and the fact there's not much i can do from far is the worst.

i have been writing some stuff here and there. i posted a hwa one shot some months ago and im really eager to share it with you, but (1) i dont think the timing is apropriate for it and also (2) in the moment i share the link with u i'll not be an anon anymore... and it kind of tames the magic for me... but i like to think i'll still get to be you hoobae, even if not in anon form anymore,,, right?

im starting this year with the goal of trusting myself and the process more, and to deal better with my perfeccionism and anxiety issues. i really want to get better in it, and i hope you (and everyone around here) get enough strength to make all your new years resolutions come true.

happy 2024! see you anytime :)

-hoobae anon

hello!!! long time no anon!!

its 2 am in my timezone and i cant sleep so i'll be doing a quick update on how things have been around here since it has been some time. not sure if you or anyone around baekhvyunsville would want to know, tho. no rush to read and answer me, okay?

hello!!! long time no see, hope you’re well & a happy new year!!! & i apologize for the lateness of this ask ofc anytime id wanna know whatever u have going on <3 i have been well, hope u had a good sleep the day sent this ask 😭

my last uni period was tough. i had to work hard, but the toughest part of it was dealing with how i treat myself academically bc i was always the smart-kid-with-the-greatest-grades in school but uni's different, so i always want to be the best in everything. perfeccionism sucks, and im learning how to deal with it.

slow steps, baby steps will take you to your destination. university really humbles everyone, i also can relate about the last semester being abnormally tough, idk what it is about fall semester that everything is just hard,,, im glad ur learning how to deal with it, it’ll take time but you’ll get there! c’s also get degrees is my motto for uni it really gets me through fbmwhdksjcjc also idk if it’s the same from wherever you’re from but academically your last two years at the uni is where one should aim for their best bc that’s what employers look at / grad school!

in this note, we had so many talks about the genocide in uni (i double major in human sciences and other subject) and it's v curious how the western midia puts so much effort in talking ab hamas but not even half of it is used to speak about how much innocents israel murders every day. it's been hard to cope and the fact there's not much i can do from far is the worst.

i think all of that + studying all while having this guilt of constantly seeing death and suffering and injustice and privilege really took a toll on a lot of ppl academically,, (i remember being more worried abt the journalists (motaz 😭) not updating than my tests) tho i still am, the fact that everything we do is a privilege. it really reached to point where id be doing tests but my minds all about gaza and thinking how their universities r no longer existing,,, the last part truly, i understand exactly what you mean.. unfortunately the only thing we can do is rigorously spread the word, boycott and keep praying for them

i like to think that when all of this is over, when it’s time to rebuild palestine. people all over the world will come and give their hand to support. i keep having this image where different professions from different countries will fly to palestine to rebuild it, from buildings to houses and more to treasure the country & that is what i truly pray for every night

i have been writing some stuff here and there. i posted a hwa one shot some months ago and im really eager to share it with you, but (1) i dont think the timing is apropriate for it and also (2) in the moment i share the link with u i'll not be an anon anymore... and it kind of tames the magic for me... but i like to think i'll still get to be you hoobae, even if not in anon form anymore,,, right?

oooooo!!!! im eager to read it actually!! something to distract my mind away with. you know what you’re right, if you’re comfortable with letting go of the anonymity send an ask either on anon or off and ill keep it priv. the moment you share it with me, the wall will break and ill know who you are which!! is exciting!!! ofc!! we can absolutely be, ill keep the ask or the link you sent priv while you can keep messaging as hoobae anon on baekhvuns!! but ofc, if you’re comfortable with it, only then share or if u have a creative way to share it i guess, alls on u!

im starting this year with the goal of trusting myself and the process more, and to deal better with my perfeccionism and anxiety issues. i really want to get better in it, and i hope you (and everyone around here) get enough strength to make all your new years resolutions come true.

as you should! i hope this year is academically and financially better / good for everyone and yourself! i hope you all gain lots of strength and happiness this year and be healthy and create a lot of memories. i hope all your pain and suffering and ancestral curses go to the instreal z*onists <3

wishing u a very happy new year and a very happy and successful 2024 ahead 💓 i truly hope you and everyone having a hard time finds solitude and joy in the small things 💓

[darthnell]

11, 19, 28, 30, 42

Hi anon ! Ty for the ask ! :D

11. Link your three favorite fics right now.

Oh god three of mine or three in general..??? Um. A..? I guess I’ll do both !!

Three of mine: True Vengeance, THE REPARATION CLAUSE, The Bridges We Burn

Three of others: The Illusion of Life, A Great Leap in the Dark, Mors Vincit Omnia

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Oh I bet for sure it’s gonna be “graphic depictions of violence” LMAO. Aside from like. The thg fandom tags. Also “original characters” and “alternate universe”. The “canon-typical violence” tag is also my best friend and i love when I surpass that one. Canon atypical violence. I think ive used that one before but only once so it doesn’t count here, but it is funny. OH- the “careers have issues” tag. Also my best friend<3 really fucking excellent tag

28. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

Pshhhhh uhhhh…. I’m actually just coming off of an event where i wrote like 35k in the span of 5 weeks which is. Not typical ! This past week-ish I have written exactly Zero words (: …at like. Normal times, I probably can do a solid 1k or in that ballpark. I have been known to bang out like 3k in a day if I’m rly in the zone (i was Unwell last july LMFAO) but also I rly don’t typically write every day. Would like to! Need to build a new schedule though. Hard for me to write on the days when I work but I only work part time atm. I am also. Kind of a slow writer usually. I’ve only written as much as I have bc I write frequently ! ((Or I try to))

30. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

Good god I think I’d perish if I shared rough drafts. Like, on ao3… is that a thing..? So like. My shit isn’t perfect. There’s definitely typos I’ve missed and all that jazz, but I usually heavily edit my chapters before posting. The event I did recently was also like my first time having a beta which was neat but. This is rly silly, bear with me - so I had two separate docs for that, one I wrote the fic in and another that I shared w the betas, because the idea of someone having access to all my rough outlines and watching me on the doc as I write makes me Viscerally uncomfortable, I can’t rly explain it better than that. Anyways, the funny part is, said beta would point out a grammar mistake or typo, and I’d go “nice” and fix it, but forget to fix it on the other doc. So when I. When I posted the fic from the original doc… you can see where this is going maybe. Actual clown idiot moment LMFAO. Tl;dr - I attempt to polish. Doesn’t always turn out shiny jdjddjdk

42. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

Ooh ! Last one I read was In The Clear by District11-Olive on FFN. So this one is technically thg but very au; it’s set in modern day Canada where a show called The Cut forced teenaged criminals to fight to the death in order to regain their freedom or get a “second chance”. It’s Really well written and also an excellent commentary on what it means to be a criminal and prison systems in general. This one’s actually the third and final installment of the series, wooh! It’s not complete yet; the story just reached the start of the death match part and its so 👁️👄👁️ It’s also a SYOC fic (Submit Your Own Character). Not open for submissions now, but u might see some of my characters if you check it out c:

Gotta also rec The Furthest Star by geologyisms on FFN since I’m in the middle of (re) reading it.. again 🥺 This is the fic I received from the exchange I took part in recently ! So the main pov char Solan Gardener (D9 tribute in the male slot but uses they/them) was created by me but the story was written by erik/geologyisms ! Ve did such a lovely job with my kiddo u should definitely check it out!! 10/10 new comfort fic fr ;—;

Ty again anon for the question, I had fun !!! <3