#i used to have a hermit crab you know ... hehe ...

[todayisafridaynight]

Ichiban is so into his street surfer that he got all his buddies including old Grandpa Kiryu to start using one.

Street Surfer need that E For Everyone rating mk its good for your typical tourist its good for your stubborn-as-dick grandpa with Allegedly radiation cancer and it's great for your lesbian crawfish and her hermit crab girlfriend

[jewwyfeesh]

Idol Research Plan - Biology Club OCEANS

Writer: Happy Elements

Character(s): OCEANS - Shinkai Kanata, Sena Izumi, Hakaze Kaoru, Kanzaki Souma, Sengoku Shinobu

Translated by: jewwyfeesh

Izumi: Even if you don’t know much about aquatic animals, it’s very therapeutic to just immerse yourself in the atmosphere and watch the fishes swim by.

Please adhere to my sharing rules :)

Location: Break Room Season: Spring

Kaoru: Everyone from OCEANS is here today, not to mention Anzu-chan, too! Today’s Circle activities will definitely be a delightful one ♪

Kanata: Hehe, it’s good that more people are finding out about the ocean’s ‘charm’~

However, Anzu-san is unable to participate in events if they’re held here in Seishou Hall, so let’s head over to the ‘aquarium’ today.

Shinobu: Yay! Aquarium visits are always interesting! I also miss the marine life over there!

Previously, Shinkai-dono even brought us to the ‘interactive zone’ to touch some sea anemones and hermit crabs! Interacting with sea creatures is always such a wonderful experience!

Souma: The variety of marine life in the aquarium is more diverse than I had thought. I particularly like the turtles that swim along slowly next to the schools of fish… Anzu-dono, you could also look for your favourite species there.

Izumi: Even if you don’t know much about aquatic animals, it’s very therapeutic to just immerse yourself in the atmosphere and watch the fishes swim by.

Not to mention, the sound of flowing water is rather calming. These kinds of places can help alleviate irritation, and it’s particularly ideal for people who lead busy lives.

Souma: Right! I’d prepared an assortment of sashimi and sushi bentos in advance. How about having lunch together once everyone’s done walking around?

Kaoru: Souma-kyun’s really caring, huh~ Heading to the aquarium for some healing, then enjoying yummy food together afterwards… Let’s do this again in the future… ♪

[ferret-not-microwave]

Les Amis Modern AU: What They Wish Others Believed About Them (Part 4)

[I kind of wrote this in response to some general trends in characterising the Amis. There are some stereotypes which I'm not quite comfortable with.]

[So much delay. Sorry.]

Joly:

• Really, really wishes that people don't laugh at him for his anxiety issues. He is truly terrified of getting infected with some disease or the other, and even more terrified of spreading it to Joly and Chetta. It doesn't help that he is one of the most sincere students of the lot, and spends a lot of time reading medical journals, which feed into his panic. He feels safe wearing masks, using rubbing alcohol (or wearing gloves), and having a bag full of basic first aid supplies, and gets embarrassed if anyone judges him for it. Also, he doesn't like it if "concerned" people ask him whether he had a past history of debilitating disease or something, he doesn't want to discuss it at all, okay? -_-

• When Joly fusses about illness in the Musain, it is him letting his guard down. He has to actively rein in his anxiety to function in the hospital, and gets super exhausted from hiding it. His tells in the hospital are are wide eyes behind his protective goggles and a compulsive toying with the wristband of his gloves. He's one of the most courageous individuals ever because of what he faces on a regular basis. He hopes that he might get some reassurance from the Amis to stop his spiralling thoughts, and he mostly gets it.

• Joly definitely has a wild side, and is more than his anxious, serious self. If there's one who can one-up Courf's cheesy pick-up lines, it is Joly. With a eyebrow quirk that leaves everyone giggly and blushing. If there's one who can set a Karaoke stage on fire (not literally, that would be R), it's Joly. If there's one who can down shots to match Bahorel, it's Joly. The one who is the most eager to go skinny dipping? Joly. The one who is, oddly, the most eager to break a pinata? Joly. Joly is more than a "quiet science nerd who checks his tongue in the mirror all the time".

• Joly and Ferre INSIST that they do not talk about random medical trivia all the time. Honestly, their shared interests involve Jane Austen and massive amounts of gossip with tea, along with Doctor Who, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF TEA, IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.

• There are days he wants to tackle people like an angry Pikachu. But real life is tough, and not everyone has the privilege of confronting people. But he really, really can do without people casting aspersions on his poly relationship with Bossuet and 'Chetta ALL THE TIME. He has been confronted as an "opportunist" in Pride walks, faced with people's pitying look to Bossuet or 'Chetta as though he is stringing them both along or "sharing" 'Chetta with Bossuet, cheered on and slapped on the back by straight cismen for "knowing how to have fun", and once directly asked if he's the one who will marry 'Chetta. He goes into panic often, and for the longest time thought himself a really awful person.

• Beware a Joly in a farmer's market. Not because of haggling, but because some people ALWAYS assume that he's amazing at math while he actually fumbles at the cash counter. Similarly, he hates it if people crack shady jokes about him being a Marie Kondo around him (just because he likes neatness AND MARIE KONDO THANK YOU VERY MUCH). And no, he doesn't like rice all the time.

• Please give back the Tupperwares. Unlike popular opinion, Joly won't chase you down for his Tupperware like some do, and isn't particularly possessive about them. That doesn't mean that he can replace misplaced Tupperwares for all eternity, please. ;_; (Same goes for the beeswax food wraps and dino bandages, c'mon peeps don't help yourself to them indiscriminately ;_;).

• Apart from his baggy sweatshirt and dinosaur pajamas aesthetic, he also has a dress shirt and pleated pants collection that would probably leave Jay Gatsby jealous AF.

Bossuet:

• Is really self-conscious about his receding hairline. He had taken to shaving his head to make it look cool, because he's really uncomfortable with weird jokes about his age and baldness. Shaving heads is pretty high-maintenance at times, and he's slowly opening up to let the hair grow back on the sides of the head for the heck of it. He used to have a large collection of hats too, which he still uses occasionally, but now it is just a fashion accessory, not a way to hide. He likes scarves as well.

• He used to flinch and swallow his discomfort when people would touch his scalp without permission, now he firmly brushes off their hands with a light scowl.

• Similarly, he hates it when people actively try to compare him to Joly. He hates being considered less successful, a "third wheel" to Joly and 'Chetta and someone who can be taken less seriously. This doesn't mean he is jealous or angry with Joly at all though.

• He feels really, really angry when Joly sometimes breaks down in front of him and 'Chetta when confronted with comments on their relationship. He can and will stonewall anyone who hurts either of them.

• Bossuet understands Joly's anxiety because he faces anxiety as well. He often gets nightmares of his "bad luck" turning batshit Final-Destination-esque and resulting in horrible accidents to Joly, 'Chetta amd the rest of the Amis. He knows the "bad luck" jokes are good humouring, but it wears him down a lot in exam/interview/work meeting weeks and leaves him third and fourth guessing himself. He had also entered a bout of depression because the "bad luck" jokes had convinced himself that he can't progress in life because what's the use. It took a lot of work and, oddly, a super niche article from the Amis blog detailing research on how some societies actively ostracize people for being "unlucky" and how it is linked to major societal oppression, to help him.

• Bossuet loves having a heart of gold. Sometimes some people tell him not to be so nice ("what if that person has cheated you off money with a sob story?"). He refuses, because he cherishes being nice and knows his limits. He sometimes worries if he's being stupid, like when the great "attendance-by-proxy" disaster happens. But Marius' broad and grateful smile, "hi, how are you doing?" texts every morning, and monthly batch of AMAZING chocolate cookies makes it worth it.

• Bossuet's accidents do lead to some happy accidents. He stumbled on a whole new recipe of gooey brownies by accident. An amazing combination of dark chocolate and red chilli peppers (maybe not so weird in retrospect)? By accident. He fell upon Courfe's sandcastle once, but it resulted in a rare hermit crab crawling out. Courfe gave a treat at the new brunch place he was saving up for, because apparently that hermit crab had made Ferre all starry-eyed and happier than he had been in weeks. And as for the rest pf the accidents? Nothing that duct tape , 'Chetta, Joly and occasionally Feuilly can't help with. In all, his accidents are always smallish, and never monumental.

• Bossuet can put 'Chetta and Ferre to shame with his eyebrow raising (at least occasionally? Hehe?). He does that a lot when people ask him if he has put water on fire or has fallen into wells. "Like bruh? I don't go anywhere close to wells, I love sidewalks and what's with everyone asking me about the kitchen being on fire?" He also does that a lot to piners (R, Ep, Courfe, 'Parnasse).

• Bossuet is one of Enj's closest friends in Law School (apart from Courfe), because Law classes and shared optional papers. Duh. They often have long discussions which are super pleasant, fluffy, yet sensible because of his really sensitive optimism. Bossuet's unorthodox insights make their way into Enj's notes for ABC meetings, and he credits him always. Similarly Enj bails him out with attendance issues. Bossuet often calmly advices him about R. Since Joly has a similar relationship with Ferre, Bossuet and Joly sometimes help Enj and Ferre sort out lingering grievances between them, or plain hear them out. Enj and Bossuet have Froyo days.

Musichetta:

• Loves, loves, LOVES books. Has no idea why people think nerds come in a kind of stereotype only ("I don't look like you", she complains to Joly and Ferre one day, "but I can defeat you two in a Jane Austen quiz WTF!" They agree emphatically, and Ferre adds "and maybe Jehan too. Maybe".). She is a massive sucker for Comic-Cons and hates men who try to prove otherwise. -_- She loves libraries as much as she loves bars.

• Has no idea why people think she's super bitchy or about to eat them up. Many people plain run when she so much as looks at them while doing a shift as a barista in the Musain. Or ask for "the nicer barista" (Cosette?). When she breathes a sigh of relief when someone treats her nice, she also braces herself for self-righteous "saviours". "Are you sure you are doing okay with those men?" "They are using you!". If she poured milk all over a client's trousers because of such a comment not-so-accidentally, no one needs to know. ;)

• Sometimes, she feels drained out. Having to support both her partners anxiety can leave her down too. They are amazing people, who love her a lot, and know that she needs her recharge time. Often Bossuet takes over in caring for Joly and vice-versa. 'Chetta has a small arrangement with Courfe on those days. If he has free time, the two of them go for an amazing, super relaxing spa session. Bahorel is back-up spa partner. The two of them know not to ask questions, but let her unwind her thoughts and air them out.

• 'Chetta joined Les Amis L'ABC much later. One of her pet peeves were when Joly or Bossuet would go to protests which could easily turn violent because of right wing trolls and the police swarming the city. Specifically, when they went without more than a word or two to her. She would get worried sick, particularly if they couldn't pick up the phone within half an hour of the protest ending, and would cry alone because she didn't want to come off as needy and one of those people who do not support their cause.

• She finally broke down before them after Bossuet had a small concussion. They were really shamefaced at having not thought about her feelings, and their apologies ran for hours. While Joly promised to regularly give her updates, Bossuet asked her to join the ABC if she is comfortable with it. It took time for her to accept that she was being in the group because of the cause and not because she wanted to helicopter-mom Joly and Bossuet, but when the next protest happened, she realised that she was in a place she always wanted to be in.

• The Amis thought that she was a member anyway. She would holler at

• 'Chetta hates it when people think that it's Joly or Bossuet who end up lavishing gifts on her all the time. True, they do, but she does it too. She's a sucker for thoughtful gift giving, and she spoils the Amis A LOT OF TIMES. She can scour the Earth for ideal gifts for her boys, and she often takes care of a stray bill or two, as much as she humanely can. She doesn't play a one-upping battle of gifts though, she just loves a lot.

• She is really self conscious about her small hands and tiny feet. Which seem to her too small in comparison with the rest of her body. Sometimes she used to wear really fluffy mittens in winter to hide how small her hands her. Not so much now. :)

•She confided to Jehan that she didn't like people romanticizing her small hands and feet because she thought they were putting unrealistic standards of the "frail beauty" on her when she was anything but. She said this after she heard R chortle about how Joly had introduced her as having tiny hands and feet. The discussion ended in her gaping and then crying out of laughter because (according to Jehan) apparently Joly was really drunk when he first talked to the Amis about her, and had also said something like "she has fortune-teller eyes, yannow! Ask Bossuet! And her dimples! Marius, you booby, you pool noodle, I know how you feel like when you met Cosette!"

Apparently Bahorel had replied with "you need new pants" and then started laughing like no tomorrow. Bossuet, not so drunk (because he was late to the party), had taken the sensible route and shown the Amis the picture the three of them took after their first date.

• Seriously, she knows zilch about tarot cards or natal charts.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[wizardofahz]

True Facts about the Kryptonian

A/N: This is based on the True Facts videos by zefrank on youtube. For those of you who are unfamiliar, that means please read this in your best parodic version of Morgan Freeman’s documentary narrator voice.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The video opens on a split screen. Supergirl soars over National City on the left side, while Superman hovers over Metropolis on the right. Near the bottom of the screen in the center are the words “True Facts” in a cursive font with “The Kryptonian” in a smaller serifed print font just below it.

Immediately the voice-over begins, Here we will explore true facts about the Kryptonian.

The Supers are replaced by a still from a CATCO LIVE feed. The headline at the bottom reads, “BREAKING NEWS: SUPERGIRL AND SUPERMAN ARE COUSINS!” A picture of Supergirl is overlaid on the left. The background is a star map with Krypton marked with a big red circle and labeled in a thick white font. 

Our story begins thousands of years ago when a planet called Krypton was destroyed.

Actually, no, it doesn’t. For this to be true, imagine a speed that you can’t even imagine.

Superman reappears on the screen, fighting General Zod. Behind them, the streets of Metropolis are empty, save for a few reporters and scattered debris. In the blink of an eye, Superman disappears from one location and reappears in another using his super speed.

Now imagine a speed not even light can imagine.

The video cuts to Supergirl, speeding in front of a car to protect children crossing the street.

“But I can imagine that speed. The physics is really quite simple if you--”

“But humans can’t, and that’s the point.”

A baby in a Superman costume appears on the screen.

That is the speed at which Kryptonian bebes rocketed through space to arrive on this planet.

“Look, cute baby. Focus on that.”

Not much is known about the young Kryptonian; however, the male Kryptonian first emerges into the world wearing underwear over his pants.

Superman flies over Metropolis in his original super suit. The red underwear stands out against the mostly blue suit.

It is an interesting fashion choice by Earth standards, but that is how a Kryptonian do.

“But that’s not a Kryptonian thing.”

“Kara, shhh.”

“That’s just something that Martha--mmph.”

“I can’t hear.”

In addition to external underwear, Kryptonians also supplement their outfits with capes. Without a cape to go flappy flappy in the wind, a Kryptonian can find herself on the wrong side of aerodynamics.

Grainy surveillance footage from the stoplight cameras at an intersection shows capeless Supergirl crashing into a hill. After she re-emerges and the dirt cloud settles, a Supergirl-shaped hole remains. 

Hehe. Looks like Edna Mode was wrong.

“That was one time! How did they even get that footage? Alex. Alex, please stop laughing. Alex... seriously? It’s not even that funny.”

More majestic footage of Supergirl appears, hovering in the air and almost glowing with the sun behind her.

Kryptonians derive their powers from the sun, which means they are basically plants--

Supergirl wanders through a busy fair on foot, happily munching on some pink cotton candy.

--carnivorous plants. At least they’re not stuck eating bugs and animal feces. Or maybe they would like that. Who knows. They are aliens after all.

“Ew, gross. I think I’ve accidentally eaten enough bugs when flying and super speeding at the same time, and no, thank you.”

A slow motion clip shows Superman catching a bullet in midair.

With the Kryptonians’ arrival, the smasher mantis shrimp has been demoted to second fastest puncher in the world.

Finally, someone to save us from these little psycho bastards.

“Hey, that’s mean!”

“I know. They’re so cool, right?”

“No, I mean I wouldn’t fight them. There’s nothing wrong with them.”

The screen splits into two. On the left, a smasher mantis shrimp punches a hermit crab’s shell. In the slow motion footage, the cavitation bubbles are visible, water being displaced so fast that air bubbles are formed. The bubbles collapse immediately producing light, heat, and shock waves. On the right, Supergirl claps her hands together with so much speed and power that it also produces shock waves.

Imagine the cavitation bubbles a Kryptonian could produce underwater. 

“Ooh, can we try that? I mean, can you try that?”

“You know, it’s kind of tempting...”

Superman wanders across the screen. He stops and squints at something in the distance.

Kryptonians also have enchanced hearing and x-ray vision, which basically means they can see and hear everything for miles around. That is unfortunate for any Kryptonian in the vicinity of a seedy motel. The things they would be able to see and hear... dirty, dirty.

“Ew. No. I-- Ew.”

To make up for this, Kryptonians can also shoot heat beams out of their eyes. This is a convenient power to have if staring contests are important to you.

Supergirl and Non face off in a heat vision battle, torsos tilted forward, hands by their sides.

There’s no chance of the other person winning if they don’t have eyes anymore.

On the other end of the temperature spectrum, Kryptonians also have freeze breath. 

Children crowd around Superman as he makes snow cones at an outdoor elementary school event.

Aww, that’s adorable. I wonder if they do ice sculptures. 

“You know, if you wanted one for your wedding, I’d try.”

“Kara, Kelly and I aren’t even engaged. Chill. No pun intended.”

The female Kryptonian is stronger than the male Kryptonian-- 

Supergirl and Silver-Kryptonite-infected Superman battle in the streets of National City.

--and supplements her superpower arsenal with hope speeches.

Muted footage of Supergirl’s speech to the Myriad-controlled National City population plays on the screen.

Listening to a Supergirl hope speech is almost like watching feel-good animal videos on the internet.

“You really are good at them.”

Supergirl plays with puppies that she had helped deliver a few months previous. They scamper around her while their mother watches and their owner laughs with delight behind the camera.

Okay, now that’s too much. I might die from the cute.

“I miss those puppies. I should go visit them again.”

With all those powers, we are hashtag #blessed that Kryptonians have decided to be heroes.

Well, the ones that appear on Earth for more than one year anyway...

The screen fades to black.

[dolphin-enthusiast]

a lovely evening to you, darling~!! 🌺💗✨

i hope you are well love!! i've seen that you've written a bit lately, that's wonderful! keep working hard for me my dear, but also remember to allow yourself breaks and time to rest when you need it! 💞

oh my darling, why do you have to be so sweet??? you seem to find everything about me cute and pleasant, it genuinely surprises me!! i never thought i could be so likeable,, it feels amazing to know that someone actually thinks all of that! ah, i really don't deserve you, do i? i'll just have to make up for that with sweet remarks of my own, hm~? 😘

ah, and that good day quinn talked about?? well, my mamma surprised me yesterday with a secret beach trip!! my family hasn't gone anywhere all summer due to the pandemic, so i was really excited, especially since my mom and i love the beach so much! we brought our masks of course, and took a 2 hour drive over!

i got to sunbathe and jump waves and mess around with my siblings in the water, it was very fun,, the only not-so-fun part was when my sister was trying to take photos of me, and this group of guys started to catcall me,,, luckily my dad stomped over, and one glare from him sent them running hehe, he can be very scary when he wants to 💫

for a good chunk of time, my sister and i had fun in the shallower parts of the water, trying to find baby clams! there was a ton, and some swam up to my hand when i held it underwater!! we also found a little sea snail and a hermit crab, they were all so so cute!! i named the snail salato, and the crab pizzico, italian for salty and pinch 🌺 it was sad when we had to leave them, but i hope they're doing fine in the ocean! ✨

we went to dinner at this nice italian restaurant, and my papa secretly ordered a glass of schiava wine for me behind my mother's back hehehe!!! but goodness, that restaurant had the most lovely pomelo tart, i wish i could've ordered a second one to bring home with me,, i guess i'll just have to find a recipie! 🌠

after dinner, we all went to an amusement park on the boardwalk!! we went on all sorts of rides, and i even faced my fear of rollercoasters by going on a really scary one with my twin!!! i didn't like that one since it was too intense for me, but we went on some less intense ones which i did end up enjoying!! ahhh it was so nice!

i also got to go on my favorite ride a few times, which is this giant thing with swings attached, and lifts you really high into the air and spins around,, it feels like flying almost! oh my, what i would give to go on it with you 💗

there were these three people in the park,, one boy tried to get me to ride on a coaster with him, another one gave me his coat when i was shivering, and this girl tried to win one of those gigantic teddy bear plushies for me??? ahhh it was really flustering, i don't understand why they were being so nice to me, a total stranger, but i was really flattered about it 😖💕

when we started to head back to our car, we stopped to get a snack, and i got to have a caramel apple,, oh gosh i hadn't had one in so long, it was so good!! i also had some ice cream, and my sister tried to take a photo of me when i got a bit on my nose hehehe 😊

i ended the night dancing to some old music outside with my father, and we even got to dance the tarantella!! my mom joined us too, and she's not a big dancer at all! it was quite a lovely day, i wouldn't trade it for the world 🌹

well, it's getting late now, and school starts tomorrow for me :( that will probably bring some changes of writing time/frequency for me, but i'll know that i'll make it work!! i'll have to anyway, since i know writing you will help me pull through this school year 💖💖💖 with that, goodnight and sweet dreams caro!! i'll see you tomorrow! 💋

- love from the moon and back, your waifu xoxo 💋💌🌹💓✨

ps: oh stars, the only thing that would've made the day better is if you were there dolcezza, it would be lovely if we could share some drinks and enjoy the sea breeze at night 💘

(here's some photos, as a treat!!)

[obx-direction-sos]

thank you so much for tagging me @scottish-sim (my tags suck and won't work so hehe)❤️

rules: answer these questions and tag people you want to know the answers for :)

favorite color(s): red! i also like black :) i like the aesthetics😂

last song i listened to: crazy by shawn mendes

favorite musician: shawn mendes is definitely one of my favorites, since i was a lil jill. same with one direction and 5sos😂 i love 1d tg (and solo)

last film i watched: love, simon. for drew starkey😂 lmaoo jk i read the book and i needed to watch it...but also drew starkey. he is definitely a better singer than shawn mendes (sorry husband#1)

last tv show i watched: GUY'S GROCERY GAMES😂😂 okay but that show is bomb

favorite character: ummm ooh this is hard i fangirl over so many characters😂 ima go with draco malfoy👀 or rafe cameron (obvi). i mean they're both really misunderstood and i like misunderstood ppl so i can stick up for them and say "put yourself in their shoes" lmaoo ya kno?

sweet, spicy or savory: SPICY!!! when i was younger, i took a spoonful of spicy mustard and practically died but yeah, it's chillll. i love my buffalo wings tho😂

sparkling water, tea or coffee: like, what even is sparkling water? i gotta go with coffee, it has that amazing taste lmaooooo. i've only had tea when i was sick😌

pets: i freakin love my fish jonah😂 here we go: my mom is allergic to something in the skin of dogs so we can't even get one, my dad/sister are allergic to cats, and we used to have hermit crabs. i want a turtle tho, they're so cute omg i just wanna save one🥺 but yeah, i have fish, and i've had so many in the past but jonah has been alive for almost two years so wooooo!

tagging (more apologies for my tags): @mxltifandoms06 @drewswannabegirl @r0s3mm @pink-meringues @twilightstilinski @prejudic3

[80sheart-strings]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

I was tagged by @xsixxx !!!! Thank you love 🖤🖤

Are you named after anyone?

Nope! Not really. My mom just happened to like her aunt’s name.

When was the last time you cried?

A few weeks ago watching the stranger things 3 finale for the second time. I knew what was coming yet I still bawled

Do you have kids?

Oh NO. I’m only 21 and don’t want kids until I’m 30

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Hehe yep

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

This is hard to answer cause it really depends on the person and situation. I really don’t know. Hair??? Voice??? Idk

Scary movie or happy ending?

Happy ending! I hate going through a movie where the characters go through all kinds of shit only for there to be no satisfaction or gain

Any special talents?

I can draw? Is that even a special talent? I can do accents pretty well too (if that’s more special than drawing lol)

Where were you born?

Boston MA. East coast, kid

What are your hobbies?

Drawing, READING, playing animal crossing lol

Do you have any pets?

No :( My dog died when I was 11 but I’ve also had hermit crabs, fish, frogs and a hamster for a month or so

What sports do you play/have you played?

I’ve played soccer, rowed crew, lacrosse and I know how to ski and snowboard

How tall are you?

5’8” bb. Lanky legs here

Favourite subject in school?

Art and biology

Dream job?

Character animator and storyboard artist (my more unrealistic dream job is to be an actress)

PHEW, that’s a lot lol. I’m sorry if you’ve been tagged in this already. I’m SO BEHIND on tumblr right now cause I’ve been working like a maniac and went away lol

Tags!!!: @abbysdogcollar, @sixxthsenssee, @malibubarbievince, @motleyfuckingcruee, @fanofnightz, @the--blackdahlia, @triplehaitches and if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged!!! I just went with who I could remember off the top of my head lol

[whatta-babe]

Tagged

I was tagged by my favorite, @webslingerholland. If you want to do this even if you are not tagged, go right ahead. I hope you have a great day!

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Pandora

is your room messy or clean? Messy

What color are your eyes? Brown

Do you like your name? why? Not really. It is super basic (Ana Sofia), and I really don’t like being called  Ana so I go by Sofia.

What is your relationship status? Single

Describe your personality in 3 words or less Shy, bubbly, passionate

What color hair do you have? Brown almost black hair

What kind of car do you drive? Color? I don’t drive.

Where do you shop? Kohls, Target, Forever 21, and thrift stores

How would you describe your style? Fashionable I guess? I dress in different and cute clothing, but I do not have a specific style.

Favorite social media account? Tumblr

What size bed do you have? Twin

Any siblings? I have a twin and a younger half-sister.

If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why? New York. I visited NY last summer and fell in love. There are a ton of people (which isn’t my favorite), but I adored riding the metro and where my aunt lives is sooo beautiful and old.

Favorite snapchat filter? The one with the giant mouth so it only looks like you have giant eyes and huge lips

Favorite makeup brand(s)? None. I only got into makeup fairly recently so I don’t have more than one product per brand. That isn’t enough for me to tell.

How many times a week do you shower? 6/7 times per week

Favorite tv show? “Lie to Me”

Shoe size? US 6.5

How tall are you? 5′

Sandals or sneakers? Sandals

Do you go to the gym? Haha, no

Describe your dream date? Extreme cuddling in bed while watching a movie

How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $40

What color socks are you wearing? Pink

how many pillows do you sleep with? 5

Do you have a job? What do you do? I do not, but I volunteer.

How many friends do you have? A lot of friends but no really close ones. I’m always ready to make more!

Whats the worst thing you have ever done? I accidentally killed my 2 hermit crabs when I was in elementary school because I left them outside in the summer heat and forgot about them. They fried to death.

What’s your favorite candle scent? Honey suckle but I don’t light candles because...😨

3 favorite boy names? Paddy (Not Patrick- just Paddy), Carlisle, and Jasper

3 favorite girl names? Rosalie and that’s it

Name favorite actor? Tom Holland

Favorite actress? Tatiana Maslany? I don’t really have a favorite.

Who is your celebrity crush? Does Sam Holland count as a celebrity?

Favorite movie? As of right now it is Spider-Man Homecoming, but it constantly changes.

Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? YES! Pretty much all I do is read! That being said, I have too many favorite books to count, but I always tend to go back to the Twilight books.

Money or brains? Brains

Do you have a nickname? What is it? No

How many times have you been to the hospital? 2 times

Top 10 favorite songs? With them constantly changing and in no particular order:

Mr Sandman by the Chordettes

Without Love from Hairspray

Glory by John Legend and Common

Missed Again by Phil Collins

Dernière Danse by Indila

Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps cover by Cake

Your Song by Elton John

Michelle by the Beatles

Skyfall by Adel

Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez

Do you take any medications daily? Hair, skin, and nails vitamins

What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Combination skin

What is your biggest fear? Fire

How many kids do you want? 2 (adopted)

What’s your go to hair style? I have a different hair style every day, and my hair isn’t reliable enough to usually just wear it down so I can’t answer that.

What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) One is big and the other is medium sized.

Who is your role model? I don’t have one.

What was the last compliment you received? “You look nice today.”

What was the last text you sent? I sent 3 group pictures to my friend.

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? I think it was 4th grade.

What is your dream car? X Terra

Opinion on smoking? My dad smokes, and I absolutely hate it. Not only does it affect the smoker, but it also affects the people around them too.

Do you go to college? Not yet

What is your dream job? Either an editor or some type of psychologist

Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Suburbs

Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Hehe, yes

Do you have freckles? No

Do you smile for pictures? 90% of the time

How many pictures do you have on your phone? 464

Have you ever peed in the woods? No

Do you still watch cartoons? Sometimes

Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonalds

Favorite dipping sauce? None

What do you wear to bed? Since it is getting a bit colder I wear a long sleeved shirt and pants  (I get cold easily).

Have you ever won a spelling bee? Lol! I suck at spelling so no.

What are your hobbies? Reading, singing, and writing (sometimes)

Can you draw? Haha, that’s funny. No

Do you play an instrument? I wish

What was the last concert you saw? I believe it was Panic! at the Disco

Tea or coffee? Coffee

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks

Do you want to get married? Yes

What is your crush’s first and last initial? SH

Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yes

What color looks best on you? Red

Do you miss anyone right now? Not really, but I do miss cuddling.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed

Do you believe in ghosts? Yes!

What is your biggest pet peeve? Cheating in a relationship. It makes me physically ill.

Last person you called? My mother

Favorite ice cream flavor? Mint chocolate chip

Regular oreos or golden oreos? Regular oreos

Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Chocolate

What shirt are you wearing? One of my many Captain America shirts

What is your phone background? Who else than mon ange, Sam Holland?

Are you outgoing or shy? Shy

Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes!!!

Do you like your neighbors? I don’t really know them so

Do you wash your face? Yes. 2 times a day actually

Have you ever been high? No and never planning on being

Have you ever been drunk? Nope

Last thing you ate? Jolly Rancher

Favorite lyrics right now?

Mr. Sandman bring us a dream Give him a pair of eyes with a “come-hither” gleam Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci And lots of wavy hair like Liberace Mr Sandman, someone to hold Would be so peachy before we’re too old So please turn on your magic beam Mr Sandman, bring us, please, please, please Mr Sandman, bring us a dream ~The Chordettes

summer or winter? Winter

Day or night? Night

Dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk chocolate for me

Favorite month? November

What is your zodiac sign? Capricorn

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My twin because a cockroach flew at me.

I am tagging: @sweetbadheart @lady-loki-l @peachyyvibes

[moonskek]

I just wanted to let you know that I love all your animals! How many do you have anyway? It looks like you may have me beat haha

hehe thank you! I have two dogs, a russian tortoise, a ball python, a cockatiel (I plan on getting another cockatiel buddy when I get enough money), 3 tarantulas, and a vinegaroon! I don’t feel like I have that many animals haha. Maybe bc I also use to have 4 rats and 7 hermit crabs? Idk! But I definitely want more animal babies in my life. 

[clicketywitch]

We just got back from Cornwall. I didn’t want to leave.

Almost every night I sat and meditated on the beach with my new amethyst crystal in hand as the sun set, painted the sky a vibrant orange and pink and said goodnight to Cornwall. This helped clear the clouds from my mind and soul.

Speaking of crystals, I bought a set of crystals to put on your chakras from a shop in Perranporth! The set contains: rose quartz (which goes on the crown chakra), amethyst (which goes between your eyes on the third eye chakra), light blue aquamarine (which goes on your throats chakra), obsidian (which goes on the heart chakra), clear quartz (which goes on the solar plexus chakra), red jasper (which goes on your root chakra), and a light orange calcite (which goes on the sacral chakra. It almost looks greasy, it’s not though. 
I also got moonstone (it’s not actually from the moon, hehe.), which looks like something out of a science-fiction film! It looks like it’s got a light in it that shoots through the middle. I don’t know whether it’s the light reflecting of it or whether it’s actually a light going through it!

I also cleaned that beach by picking up bits of litter. I must’ve helped because I picked up a load of litter! I want to protect all of the lovely sea life. The beach isn’t a bin!

I also picked up several shells, one I’m certain is a muscle shell. I’m playing with them and trying to find out what sort of shells they all are. I’m deep in thought about where the shells might originate from and how far they’ve travelled to the beach. (I was also deep in thought about how I wish I was watching the sunset with Taehyun @south-b-club) Fun fact shells are basically homes to sea creatures, be it a cockle, scallop, etc. You have Hermit Crabs which don’t actually have a shell, it uses other creatures’ shells. It goes to empty shells and uses it as a home until it outgrows where it’ll chuck it off and hunt for another one! Another fun fact that I learnt: muscles eat plankton and filter out whatever’s in the sea! I also saw multiple crab claws. The poor crabs probably got washed up and tumbled and smashed.

I went to the Witch Museum, which I was fascinated by. We also went to Trebah Gardens, which looked like Jurassic Park. Jurassic Park probably came to a garden like that, to get ideas and take photos to get ideas on what the set looked like. I could imagine the dinosaurs running through it and the leaves flapping side to side and the low rumble of their feet pounding on the ground. were loads of old trees (you could tell they were old by the bark). There was a tree that looked like it was laying down, which was odd! And there was two trees that looked like they were hugging, which my dad and I named the couple trees. And we saw golden fish. They grew hydrangeas, which apparently like the Cornish water. And then it pummelled down with rain, so we used plants that almost looked like huge rhubarb as shelter!

The sea air has definitely knocked us out. I don’t know what’s in sea air that does that, but how to answer that is probably that it’s not so polluted. The air I’m now breathing at home is probably more polluted than the air back in Cornwall. It’s also probably cleansing as it has salt and minerals in it.

We sat on the balcony every night under the stars. You could hear crickets! Some nights we didn’t see a lot of stars, as it was too cloudy! We’re very windswept, and content at the same time.

Cornwall is a place where my soul is at its happiest. I truly took this holiday to be at one with the nature around me and reconnect with myself. I savoured each moment as much as possible. 🌞🌊🐚🌟🌾💛

[thesylvalining]

Now I cannot presume to know what you are thinking at this moment. The weekend might peer into your tired noggin like a curious Italian man on a bike when Lisa and I cruise by. If, instead, a question surfaces about why I haven’t written more frequently it’s because–aspetta, wait. A picture says a thousand words, does it not? So a blog with pictures must say even more. Therefore–especially if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking–I’ll step back and let the blog do its work. And then you’ll understand why I am saddled with the very best of predicaments: doing way too f*cking much to blog.

 1. A Bologna Day

The first two weeks or so in July found me channeling a hermit crab–in a very hot shell, with an espresso machine nearby. Perfect conditions for a warm weather loving, aspiring author with gallons of time, an article to finish and a book to perfect. Many of you know it’s been a multi-year endeavor, this comic fantasy mystery of mine.

Having snatched the opportunity of free time in Italia, I decided to use July wisely and wrap up the novel like a happy mummy, primed for the afterlife. I’ve even spotted a publisher through the keyhole in the pyramid and I’ll ship the whole endeavor off on a pyre of hope come fall.

So, I dove headlong into the deep pool of editing, formatting, publishing research, cover letter writing and so forth. And then I needed a mini-vacation–both from the book itself and even from the lovely castle. I bought a 4.75 euro ticket and headed to Bologna to see about becoming happily lost in the lively, student-lined streets and well-preserved medieval center.

I also visited the covered walkway and steps (portico) to hilltop Santuario di Madonna di San Luca. I read there are 666 steps, but hell, what kind of devil wants to count them? From the official start of the portico walk in Piazza Saragozza, it’s about 3.7 km (2.3 miles) one way. But of course–to pre-compensate for the giant gelato devoured afterwards–I walked from the train station to the church and later, back (about 20 km total or 12 miles), not including getting lost…

At the Santuario, my stomach reminded me lunch was overdue like a library book. The day–of course–was toasty, and a shady pause wouldn’t hurt. I spied an excellent pit stop with an enviable view and sat down to rest, re-hydrate and stuff my face before heading down the way I came.

Walking in the city…

Still on the flats, heading towards where the stairs start up…

Turning the corner at Bonaccorsi Arch in Piazza Saragozza.

Only about 3.7 km (2.3 miles to go).

Reaching Santuario di Madonna di San Luca.

Lunch spot!

Back in the city again…

Churches. Neat.

Castles. Neater.

In the evening, I met up with  Matteo (a Tinder find, hehe) and his friend Thomas we  made short work of three bottles of sparkling, crisp local pignoletto wine.

We followed it up with piadine and a bottle of dry, sparkling red Lambrusco. And then I personally polished the night off by getting buzzed enough to almost-not-quite miss the last train back to Faenza at midnight. I’m a 33-year-old 20-year-old; what else can I say? 🙂

2. Notte Rosa (Pink Night), Rimini, Italia

On the train to Bologna, I met a friendly dude named James, from Nigeria. He got excited to hear me speaking English on the phone (probably an excuse to say hi) and asked for my number. Since I’m free as the breeze I so desperately wished would stir in that sweaty, stuffy train, why not? Less than a week later, he sent a message to say he was heading to Notte Rosa on the coast and would I want to come? I–the 20-year-old-33-year-old dancing machine–was basically already on scene.

I boarded the 2300 train from Faenza on a Friday night and arrived in Rimini’s warm air before midnight. With a sea of other youths (ewe-ths) sporting pink apparel, I met up with James and we headed towards the beach. Fireworks exploded merrily overhead; street vendors hawking pink wigs, pink leis, pink hats and pink scarves waved their wares from all directions. Closer to the crowded venue, dance music resonated from every corner, like a thumping, aural compass rose (compass rosa?).

Following the (pink) river of humans, we soon found the main stage, its metal spine parked over the sand like a neon snail, next to a phosphorescent gyrating ferris wheel. And then the music started up: it was a beat that rattled the bones and left no choice but to move to it.

For the next four hours (until the first train in the morning back to Faenza, around 4 a.m.) we and hundreds of our closest friends grooved to the rambunctious beats of DJs from venues in Miami, Italia and the (electronically) infamous Belgian Tomorrowland. I didn’t have any fun at all, as you can tell:

After the music stopped we shuffled out with everyone, queued up in front of the crescione stands and stuffed our faces with everyone and ran to the train (which was late) with everyone. As the sun oozed over the horizon like a freshly cracked egg, we made our way back on the train with everyone, too.

3. Beach Weekend, Part One (Part two, this weekend with Lisa)

What to do with a bike, a free weekend and a tent? Ride to Boca Barranca in Marina Romea of course!

First I hit the reset button from Pink Night and slept in until noon-thirty. Then I chucked swimsuit, sunscreen, sleeping pad, pillow, sheet, towel, flip-flops, bug spray, camera and a couple of dresses in panniers and took off in the sweltering heat. Except for a section of dirt, the asphalt road exacerbated everything; enough heat rose off it to cook an egg on my knee as I cycled along.

In Bagnacavallo, I made a pit stop at Igor and Sara’s to borrow their tent. Sara revived me with ice-cold water and mint syrup, some sort of nectar of the Gods. “Look even our ice works for ExperiencePlus!” said Sara (and we had a work-related laugh because the bicycle company we work for, ExperiencePlus!, employs arrows in its logo and each and every tour). These just pointed me towards the hammock, but still…

Refreshed, I bungeed the tent on, hopped a train in Bagnacavallo and got off in Ravenna. It was almost 1800 as I moved from the busy stazione (station) to the bike path. A steady stream of beach-goers beelined for the city, trailing dripping swimsuits, wreaking of sunscreen and casting curious glances at me, going the opposite direction with tent and panniers.

Having selected a leisurely pace and after taking the short ferry across the main canal, I arrived at Romeo Family Camping around 1930. First things first: a dunk of my slimy self in the cool waters of the Adriatico.

After the friendly hosts led me to my sandy pitch, I set up my tiny island among the skyscrapers of permanent bungalows and rented “tents” with fake windows, fridges, ceiling fans and blaring televisions. Curiosity followed me like a string of starved mosquitos. A single girl, arriving by bike with a small, simple tent: I suppose I was something to wonder about.

“Where does she sit?” I heard one older lady say to another as she shuffled by in her flowered mu-mu, flashing me a genuine smile with bright red lips, the lipstick just slightly off. Her friend shrugged.

I rode across the little canal to Lisa and my beloved Boca Barranca, where I dined on everyone’s favorite seafood platter and a Campari Spritz. Simultaneously, I enjoyed the smart ramblings of Tom Robbins and checked on our favorite employee, the artist formerly known as Hot Bartender. Now we refer to him as maybe Tito, because the one time he gave me his name the music (per usual) was loud enough I wondered if maybe my eardrums were real drums, played by an adderol-powered David Grohl.

Around 2200, I retired to my tent for a nap. Around 1130, as the rest of Romea Family Camping was brushing teeth, the kids snoring in bed, I was applying make-up in the Spartan, mosquito-infested bathroom (receiving curious glances from humans and hungry ones from mosquitos). Again, I rode my bike over to Boca Barranca and danced with the lights and fog machines until 3 a.m… 20s in my 30s, what can I say!

Sometime in the “night” (or very early morning) I had a vivid dream of floating in a warm lake inside a ziplock bag (with breathing holes). Not exactly… I awoke in a tepid sea of my own sweat inside the gray-green inferno of a tent. I got up–in my underwear–tore off the fly and fell asleep on top of my sheets.

At around 0800, I awoke to very young children circling my tent like training-wheel reinforced vultures. I cracked my eye-mask, shoved my earplugs back in, rolled over and returned to the quieter land of dreams. When I came to again around 11, the camp was crawling with people, my tent was crawling with ants and I had been sleeping splayed out in my underwear in broad daylight for more than long enough for anything crawling to see me…

So, I got my curious self up, pulled a dress on and went to the beach. After another Boca hamburger for dinner, I spent the evening journaling and reading on the beach, watching the sun high five the moon and applying bug spray liberally. I hadn’t planned to stay two nights, but I was lazy and living in the moment. After checking with the staff, I spent another eight hours splayed out in my underwear, dreaming about soaking in a cup of hot chocolate. In the morning, I packed up and rode back to Ravenna, boarded the (late) train and was back in Faenza by American dinner time.

4. Santarcangelo Film Festival (Santarcangelo/Torre Pedrera, Italia)

Again, the trusty steed and I hopped aboard a train in Faenza and departed in sunny Santarcangelo–about an hour on the tracks and very close to Rimini, where I danced my face off at Notte Rosa. I’d booked an airbnb room in Torre Pedrera, a shell’s throw from the beach. I spent the 10 km or so from Santarcangelo to b&b on back roads, rolling past churned fields and fruit-laden orchards, through tiny towns where farmers shaded their eyes to see who passed through. The room was in a clean, outdated hotel run by friendly Chiara and Barbara. My hosts set me up with stable for the steed and a voucher for an inclusive ombrello e lettino (umbrella and sun chair). My 20s-in-my-30s instincts told me I would be only too happy to make friends with un ombrello e un lettino (late) the next morning…

I showered and changed, just as a gesture to my fellow humans I suppose, because by the time I rode back to Santarcangelo I was dripping like a melting gelato. Nonetheless, I couldn’t be happier; there were people everywhere, seeping out of cafes like the sounds of music oozing around the corners. As the sun sunk down with a sigh, here and there flashed an open air exhibit or a black and white French movie playing on the giant screen in the main square. I followed the cobbled beehive streets up to the castle atop Santarcangelo’s medieval skull to find some (handsome) men setting up a stage for later.

Before finding a piadina and vino rosso and calling it dinner, I asked around and finally found the Imbosco–a word which, to keep on the PG side, I will not translate. In reality, it was a large red and white tent in a generous field in Parco dei Cappuccini.

After watching people over the top of my speck e formaggio piadina in the lower main square, I tried to visit a merman in the town pool, but he had retired for the day. Instead, I visited some of the underground caves…

… and then I wandered over to the Aussie-run Club EcoSex, where visitors were invited to “flirt with nature.” Having been in nature as a Forest Service employee and general outdoor enthusiast but having so far missed my chance to flirt with it, I had to see what my 5 euros would get me.

I walked in to find a sexy, eclectic mix of art and theater. In the first room a raised bed of orchids observed a large movie screen with a snake that wound around a woman’s torso and shots of men and women peeling some sort of glue off their bodies while laying in the grass. A naked woman wearing only a collar wandered around in the pink light. It was like a free, humid acid trip.

The next room was filled with fog, flashing lights and jungle beats. Three beds hung with lights and netting and surrounded by plants invited people to lay down and observe. I accepted, laid down and lost complete track of time, people watching and turning my mind off completely.

And I wasn’t supposed to take a video (bad Sylva) but by the time I was chastised I already had. Waste not, want not…

When I emerged, the sky was squid inky black. I wandered back into the center for a coffee and meandered back up to the top of the old city. There, I found an older woman with cropped blond hair, a black leotard, tights and high heels singing eclectic music with a strong soprano voice. After her last song melted into the night, I followed everyone back down to the flats. A techno beat pointed to a circular crowd, a parked car blaring the beats and a group of very committed youths. As they performed, everyone in the crowd looked at each other, wondered what was going on and giggled just a little…

At the Imbosco, a DJ played for an audience of blue lights and tropical potted plants and groups queued up at the bar or several food trucks scattered about like edible confetti. Lights sparkled overhead and groups of friends laughed in the shadows or at low tables. I waited awhile but the dance floor remained uninspiring. Although people streamed towards the Imbosco like Prosecco into a good Spritz, I still had a bike between me and my bed. By the time I wove back through the deserted streets, with the Big Dipper and the busty moon as my guides, it was after 0200.

And–as promised to my less hung over self the day before–I woke up late and spent the day reading and sunning at the beach before an afternoon train back to the castle.

5. The ABCs: Amici, Bici, Concerti

Although it seems all the adventures and editing and dancing would’ve eaten up all my free time like a hungry post-bike ride Sylva, I still had time for… well, just that. I managed to ride three to five times a week, visiting old haunting grounds and finding new ones to be ghastly around as well. I even got to accidentally haunt a dirt road on a road bike…

I also managed to get bit twice in one week by two idiotic insects- one wasp and one undetermined variety, both of which I hope will soon be extinct. They surely might be, based on their ability to fly straight into a jersey and not find a way back out…

Castle pit stop by Casale-Valsenio.

Curing wheat on San Mamante.

Just some of them really awesome, smooth, new Italian roads…

Ahhh Emilia-Romagna 🙂

I also attended an amazing concert with my buddies Igor and Sara. We enjoyed the unique music and endless antics of Devendra Banhart in 18th century, beautifully restored Villa Torloni. I took home the fond memories and a dozen ant bites in an unfortunate locale (enough said). As a friend recently told me, my bug bite frequency might be enough to try for a world record. As an unemployed outdoor enthusiast: one, I probably am already enrolled in the competition and two, I wonder if I might be able get paid for that? 🙂

I also took home some amazing videos of the concert and Devendra’s incredible ability to interact with the crowd. I didn’t quite capture when he ordered pizza for his hungry keyboardist and it was delivered on stage. But I did get the tail end of a running joke that began at the concert’s start when the bassist’s microphone was accidentally turned off:

A few days later, I stumbled over a free concert in Faenza’s centro, in starry-roofed Teatro Massini. Rock chords drew me in to listen to the last five or six songs of Alejandro Escovedo. Escovedo’s been around for some time, played with The Boss (Bruce Springsteen) among others and played some awesome, politically charged songs written to challenge Trump’s latest anti-immigration measures. Why? His father was Mexican.

The summer fun doesn’t stop there–but I am going to, for now. It’s evening in Italy and a Spritz is calling!

We’re excited, how ’bout you??!?!

On the next Sylva Lining, Sylva goes to Sofia, Bulgaria for the weekend and now, Lisa’s back… you know what that means… rivers, bikes, beaches and of course, Boca Barranca! And later still, girls, tents, more bikes and alps. Stay tuned!

Summertime and the Livin’s Easy Now I cannot presume to know what you are thinking at this moment. The weekend might peer into your tired noggin like a curious Italian man on a bike when Lisa and I cruise by.