#i unironically think 'this would fix me' about certain things

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

The phrase 'to carry a child' is to me such an unbearably tender description. You're carrying it? Nurturing and protecting it? Freely giving it what it needs until it is ready for birth? 'Going to have a baby' speaks of the hope of promise, but 'carrying a baby' gives the same implication to me, only with an added beauty of what is happening immediately as well as the future.

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

Secretary's DYVJ OC

Or, a study in character design by the secretary.

Hello my audience of fools and creatives, this is how me, the Secretary, designed past characters for Drink Your Villain Juice. I've designed a couple of the beloved gamers such as random one-off heroes (hello, Portrait, my beloved), and the one and only Wil (which some of you really love).

The background:

We have a free spot on the SCUM team, which is essentially a super-violent villain team doing very atrocious team for what appears to be no reason in particular. While this isn't entirely true since tragically people have motivations to hurt others (even if it's just fun!), SCUM attracts, well, scummy people and also people who may or may have no other choice than to choose these sorts of groups. They may be groomed into a role, forced to rely on violence to keep certain people at bay, or might just have been repeatedly failed by the systems than they were supposed to be protected by.

With this free spot in mind and the other characters already having fixed roles, we need a character to fit a specific niche.

The niche is secret for the audience, but essentially, we need a female character that counterbalances the other female characters within the team + illustrates a typical trope of villain characters. As you might have noticed, many of the characters within the story kinda play on tropes: Surpass is super(wo)man but a jerk, MC is a trope on the chosen hero being a villain, etc.

I'm pretty interested in making a character who might unironically have some sort of sex appeal going on. So let's brainstorm:

The base concept:

I think female characters within superhero fiction often have to rely on sex appeal to keep an audience engaged. It's rare to find a character like this within TV or comics or books that has any sort of depth to them - but the thing is, this is a one-off villain so how do I give the audiences the tool to discern the character's backstory. I have a couple of ideas:

Lack of armor and mask: This is a reckless character. She lacks foresight in protecting herself. Maybe she doesn't view herself in a good light, and maybe she doesn't even care if her face is shown to the world. Maybe she lost too much to care about her body being hurt and her face being plastered on every wall - or maybe that's exactly what she wants to punish herself.

Collected jewelry from her victims: A means to intimidate, really. If this is someone who has lost it all, gaining these small possessions mean that she holds controls over somebody. It might be tied to her power - or not! - but it is obviously tied to her psyche. Maybe she was riding the high life and it came crashing down, or maybe it's a physical manifestation of all the lives she had taken in the past as a physical mark on her body.

Trashy expensive clothes: To really solidifies the concept of someone who has lost it, maybe anchor the physical manifestation of the character by trashed wealth. Clothes that are too expensive or reserved for special occasions are being torn apart. They are mish-mashed because the character is holding down to past wealth despite the lack of coordination. What if she is also taking the clothes of the female victims? Could she be green with envy that someone is living the life she wanted to life or had lived?

With these three characters point, let's move to appearance.

The physical manifestation of her psyche, and what it means to be her:

She is an attractive woman down on her luck. She fits the specific standard of beauty within the region. She wears clothes and jewelry that are expensive, but obviously aren't hers by the way they don't fit. Her clothes are poorly mended clothes, showing that she tries to put forward a tidy image, with blood that doesn't seem to wash out, implying not everybody gave their clothes willingly. She also has too many necklaces, bracelets, and rings, especially wedding rings. If someone shone a light on her, people would be blinded by the dazzling. She wears too much makeup, caking her features, and it hides her real emotions from the cracks and drip of sweat that she is obviously exerting. Her lack of armour reveals a body that isn't honed for combat or physical exertion, implying that whatever makes her able to keep going is more psychological than physical. She may be a tad overweight, and "letting herself go" would most likely be what she would say about herself, but someone with a keen eye might be able to grasp that she is comfortable in this new life. She carries herself with a lack of confidence that makes herself appear as arrogant. She doesn't flinch, she doesn't get scared, she doesn't run - but she is clearly despondent at whatever her fate might be.

It would take a miracle to fix her, but by that point, she might have killed too much to go back.

Tying it all together with a knot:

I opted for the name Spring Breaker. Spring Break is a time for young people to go out somewhere sunny and get tanned - or at least, that's what I've learned from Jersey Shore. I think this character might be a past college student, having ignited during her spring break, and losing what was making herself. Her power should also be based on water. It would make sense with the theme of womanhood being a failed state for her since water is often seen as a feminine and passive element. But she isn't passive, she only has an image of it to probably protect what she holds on to - which is her appearance. Maybe, her power could involve drowning people which a lot of sirens, which one could say that she is, are known to do to take the riches of sailors.

So what about a young woman who was on spring break and was involved in someone's death by drowning. She might have pushed them into the ocean, or maybe have forced them underwater, due to her envy for their wealth. She ignited with the ability to constantly relive that trauma that ruined her life. In a way to punish herself, she names herself Spring Breaker, lacks a real civilian or mask identity, and puts herself in situations where she finds herself forced to drown people. She also wants to go back to before, when she was able to buy expensive clothes and have the jewelry she liked, but every time she grabs someone's chain and puts it on her neck, she finds herself back in the pool causing her downfall.

Her place as a villain:

Spring Breaker is an infiltrator in SCUM. She is what one could be best described as an assassin, taking out targets in the surroundings of the fight, and slowing going toward the fight. She takes out people from the back and makes her way forward. Her power is simple: she coats anything she touches in a thin film of water, dry drowning those with the misfortune to be grappled by her. Her ignition gave her the compulsion to steal valuables - or maybe she had it all along but now has a very good excuse - which enables her ability to rob people. Her costume changes based on what happened last time. She might wear a two-piece swimsuit with a feathered boa one time, or a see-through babydoll dress with lace underwear, or maybe a full-length gown with three bullet holes she couldn't mend around the abdomen. In every case, she leaves behind her drowned and drowning bodies, stripped of valuables.

She is obviously a bad person, but it's hard not to pity her by the way she sulks around. Some may say she should be put down for her own good, but others think she should taken out for the bodies left in her wake. Spring Breaker thinks it's a bit of column A and column B.

Final notes:

i think i can fix her

[katasstrophy]

I feel like I've seen every Bluelock boy paired with a very cute, very bubbly, and chill gf/reader before, but I haven't seen any of them paired with a cool and competent or even bossier type. Are there any guys you think of liking that type??? Or maybe just deserve that type to be kept in line lmao 🤣

nonnie!! 😳 NONNIE UR BRAIN I’M GIVING IT A THOUSAND KISSES UR SOOO RIGHT FOR THIS!!! i guess it doesn’t really show with the fics i’ve uploaded so far – which is a damn shame, i should fix that – but i am absolutely all for readers who are just… out there, ya know? they’re prickly, or easy to anger, or sardonic as all hell, or way too clever for their own good or yes yes, bossy<3 i eat that shit UP like it’s my last meal. this is not to say i don’t enjoy sweet, bubbly readers (bc i do!) but the type you describe just… scratches a certain itch iykwim 👁️👁️

i think one of my first posts ever about blue lock on this blog (cw. mid writing LMAO) was exactly about this. obviously most of the blue lock guys are only extreme egoists when they’re playing soccer, but i do think that aspect of their lives will ultimately start to bleed into their personality as they grow up/go pro. so having someone who’s just like “yeah that’s great and all but if you won’t make it to date night i’ll leave your sorry ass” is just. so sexy to them like?? they haven’t gotten their ego knocked down a peg in a while so i think they’d be drawn to a partner like that askdhxnbz idk if i’m explaining this very well but as far as i’m concerned all blue lock boys deserve an unhinged reader lol 😤

THAT BEING SAID!!! >:))) i have a top three list of blue lock men who i, personally, would love to put in their place and encourage anyone out there to do so as well LOL

1. MICHAEL KAISER — this cocky motherfucker ugh need i say more 🙄 the urge to censor his name was real strong but i persevered still cannot believe i’m (sadly) attracted to this horrible, horrible man. he’s sooo insufferable and just so obsessed with himself like he unironically refers to himself as the emperor when i tell you there’s nothing i want more than to make this man beg on his knees i mean it – what a pretty sight that would be hm? <3 all his past lovers probably treated him like he was god’s greatest gift to women (HE IS NOT) – and by now he’s not only used to it but comes to expect it – so when he meets you and you’re like “mm you’re kind of a prick leave me alone thenk yew✨✨” he’s just. so scandalized LMFAO suddenly he’s the one chasing after you and vying for a shred of your attention oooohh yes that’s exactly what he deserves how it should be

2. ITOSHI SAE — listen he might be my precious babygirl now but i used to hate this mans guts like no other and that little resentment still lives on in my heart in the form of wanting this man’s downfall to be a woman like don’t tell me that’s not the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. he’s just so single-mindedly focused on soccer – japan’s treasure and what not – and thinks he can get away with being an asshole because of it but you place down your foot and tell him to cut the bullshit or you’ll find someone who treats you better (AMEN SISTER) and suddenly he’s grappling with the reality that shit he might just fall apart without you yes girl make him suffer

3. OLIVER AIKU — i couldn’t not include the resident fuckboy here mmmm the possibilities for him are endless and each one more delicious than the last. he might not be as insufferable as the others but he still thinks extremely highly of himself, especially when it comes to his way with the ladies. typical “oh no i don’t do relationships” kinda guy who can show you a good time for a night before dipping in the morning – and you just don’t want that. so you reject his advances, say you’re not interested and move on, but for some reason, oliver can’t. literally physically wounds his pride when he crawls back for a second chance but you don’t budge, still wary of him due to his past behavior unless he can show you otherwise. and the way he scrambles to prove himself as trustworthy to you? god tier groveling from a man YUMM

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/744496918845177856/man-some-times-i-wish-people-would-figure-out

See the thing is criticizing does not equal you are jealous of the thing, but when you see someone start to pathologize criticism and even become obsessed with a specific subject to criticize I think it’s not the wildest assumption to imagine there is a certain type of jealousy involved.

You see a loooooot of mid tier or up and coming artists doing redraws to ‘fix’ things they are critical of, and then they themselves expect to be praised for ‘fixing’ the work of a less than deserving (in their minds) artist.

I think a good example of this is Vivziepop. Many of her detractors would be so insulted if you even implied they were jealous because to them there is NOTHING to be jealous of because Viv’s work is so unappealing to them, it breaks ALL the rules of what animation SHOULD be or w/e their youtube animation school of hard knocks has taught them.

In reality they are jealous though. They’re upset that someone DOING IT WRONG has all the attention when they (or their personal favs) are ~doing it RIGHT~ and getting no attention. It’s like a reactive resentment that echoes or rhymes with jealousy. It’s also very obvious and cringey to witness.

That being said obviously just being critical is not the same thing. I reserve the right to find it annoying though if that is someone’s entire online presence. A lot of these people self describe as ‘haters’ and go on and on about media literacy while unironically being actually genuinely illiterate. But it’s easy enough for me to keep scrolling and not follow those people.

--

[the-courtsjester]

Greetings Ladys, gentlemen and... things, today I'll be posting my first headcanons but for what you may ask? ...go on ask me... I'll assume you asked

It's for Honkai Star Rail!

Now over time I will indulge in a bit if smut but for more I'll just probably mention characters doing something lewd or shit for one reason or another anyway let's begin!

Honkai Star Rail headcanons 1:

Stelle:

She's a lost puppy god damn, if she gets attached to someone and they wander off from the friend group she will not hesitate to go off with them

Stelle has more then occasionally had to run from law enforcement because she beat someone for bothering her friends too much

She occasionally just doesn't wear a bra and if someone points it out she'd genuinely have to remember what that is

She can and will bring a trashcan into the Astral Exress if no one stops her last time no one stopped her record was twelve in one room

Stelle will spend a good while on figuring out the perfect song to play in the Express for the day... only to just put it back to Take the Journey it's a good song I can't blame her

Stelle has made copys of their wanted posters and put them up in the Express Welt and Dan Heng have learned to not both with them but March can't stop taking the ones of her down only for seven more to appear

Silver Wolf:

As a gamer you'd expect her room to look like a tornado rolled through well you're very wrong! You foolishly foolish fool she's so meticulous in certain games she's had it bleed out into her real life

Wolfie have more then once stolen Blade's crdit card to use on monthly subscriptions ...not like he knows how to use that thing anyway

Sliver Wolf is a brat change my mind doesn't matter the scenario as long as it isn't life threatening if she finds it funny she'll be a brat

While yes she is amazing at multiplayer games she actually prefers single player and party games think, Mario Party, Smash Bros, The Jackbox series stuff like that one time she got Kafka and Blade to join her in Smash Bros and dear lord the look of Confusion on Blade's face

On the daily she will wear something similar to a hazmat suit and take all her limited edition collectibles and clean then meticulously from dusting off boxes to fixing any mistakes it has to make it absolutely perfect

She try's to make a ligament playlist to listen to but it somehow always get infested by video game osts and when asked for good song recommendations she takes a second to not say a video game song unless it's unironically good

Natasha:

Ask her what sleep it she'll take a couple seconds to respond because this woman doesn't sleep yet she tells everyone else to sleep

An entire corner of her room is dedicated to stuffed animals and she'll have a full on ceremony when she plans to gift one of them to one of the kids

She definitely listens to to System Of A Down in the same playlist as Barbie Girl but no one knows ...about Barbie Girl no one except it from her for some reason

Natasha sets up play dates with the kids and herself many times she has played the princess needing rescue and on occasion she'll play the hero or villain if requested to

On accident some of the kids managed to get her grenade launcher and she had a full on panic attack luckily it had no ammo but afterwards she kept it closer by at all times

Natasha in her free time likes to spend it with a cup of coffee and any one of the solitaire versions or any of those old computer games like minesweeper and has become unironically really good at it

Ah well that will do it for now, I'm only doing three for now as they're the three I would say, I know the best but I do feel like Natasha's wasn't as good as it could be I don't know why though, but I may see you all tomorrow with another post

Goodnight my lovely audience!

[look-mom-percys-on-the-tv]

Ep 5 reactions

spoilers beneath the cut for s1e5 and minor spoilers for most of the books, but I censored the traitor's name. mostly positive tone.

ANNABETH SAW THE FUCKING FATES

"Im the last one to realize this aren't I" A LITTLE BIT

I love Percy admitting there he was really ONLY in it for Sally. Poseidon does ONE good thing and all of a sudden it's "wait I think the conspiracy to start war betten the gods is... important?" SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MEET REASONABLE PARENTING EXPECTATIONS? A certain god could be taking notes, specifically the patent of [REDACTED]

go off Percy with the emotional intelligence. A for effort

and an A PLUS to Annabeth for the sharing important info and being vulnerable.

I see that coat covering the bike seat. there's human skin on that thing, isn't there?

LIVING the portrayal of Ares as man-baby who starts twitter fights. average maturity level of anyone who likes war.

"there's no fear in you, is there?" STAWPPP

THEY KEPT THE MANHUNT PLOT🎉🎉🎉🎉 also the Gabe is Gabe-ing. Manipulate mansplain manwhore on the most literal level. except disney probably cut the womanizer bit.

the whole "Im immature as shit but my threats are real, I hold all the cards" THE GOD OF WAR IS GODOFWAR-ING

"can I walk them to the door" IS HE GONNA RUN FOR IT? they're really letting Grover miss out on this quest, huh? I mean I guess it makes sense. PLUS it means more Grover-exclusive scenes! MY BOYY

that's a lie. there HAVE to be corny movie nights at camp, right?

ALSO botl movie date, anyone?👀👀👀👀

is that? a JOKE I HEAR??? poking fun at Percy? a little. Genuine? ALSO TRUE. If you told me that "amusing" line was Liften from the book and I've just forgotten about it all five million times I read it, I WOULD BELIEVE YOU

Annabeth who complimented Circe's loom when Percy got cursed🤝 Annabeth who complimented Hepheastus when Percy got trapped

the way she says push before telling him what it is😭😭😭

WE'VE MET BEFORE. I'M 24. A FAN!? GROVER WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT

songs about feelings that was PERSONAL

*insert Coach Hedge talking about nature*

Annabeth asking what Ares need the kids for if he wants the bolt/thinks their quest means nothing🤝 Grover gaslight girlbossing : doing detective work under Percy's nose

OOOH good detail with Percy being caught up with all the "3000 year-old goss" because HIS MOTHER TOLD HIM hi sally i fuckign love u

"don't even try to tell me not to be weird about this" we love an honest queen. While I kinda miss book Annabeth being a bit stompy and whiny at this part, I do think that the show version suits its own characterization of Annabeth, saying whatever she thinks needs to be said.

this whole show, I've been able to see everything. episode five DO NOT be the one to let me down! PLEASE!

THE SONG omg i wasnt expecting that. miraculous movie flashbacks fr.

W CONVO. DOUBLEYOU CONVO. nothing to add. perfection.

Also. don't shoot but the song choice unironically fits Hephaestus's story.

SWIMMING

is that a giant gold naked statue of Hera? to taunt them for cheating on him? hypocrite.

"they like to ignore what doesn't fit their narrative" [REDACTED] APOLOGISTS TAKE NOTES.

also, SMOOTH AF

okay there's no way Annabeth doesn't know that story. there's ONE way to take a god's power and she doesn't know it? at least let them tell it in tandem! a little "Yeah I recognize the chair, what of it?" THEN let the touchy-feely boy present the bargain. AT LEAST.

SHE'S NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HIM

"do you need some help?" "FUCK OFF" that's Annabeth

in the one hand, I am not a fan of depriving Annabeth of her super wisdom hero moment. on the other hand, placing responsibility to fix things on the perpetrators instead of those kids from Season ONE queen shit, and showing people can change. slay, but PLEASE let Annabeth do some more puzzle shit!

THE SHIELD LOOKS SO BIG IN HER HANDS

THESE FUCKIGN TWELMVE YEAR OLDS

OH so [REDACTED] and Ares conspired to make sure the trio never makes it there, not just using the magic things that activate at a certain place, but also by DIRECTING THEM TO THE TIME FREEZE ON PURPOSE

TO SUMMON WHAT

that interaction. SO THEM

YOU KNOW WHO WHATTED THE WHAT

[thisisvoided]

I'm bored so here are my thoughts on the current IDW Characters.

Tangle: She's interesting in that she's reckless and impulsive yet sees things for how they really are, or how they really are to her. Even when the chips are down, she has a seemingly unending well of optimism and empathy, although being comforting during emotional situations isn't exactly her forte. She's also evidently not used to trauma as a subject, seeming to have only a surface-level understanding of it due to Whisper's presence in her life. All-in-all, she's an interesting character. She also has a good design.

Jewel: Despite her not having as many appearances as other original characters in the franchise, I can say without a doubt that she's found a permanent place inside of my heart. She's different from other mainline characters in that she isn't a fighter and has doubts about whether her mind can make up for her lack of physical prowess, but when her confidence is up she's a natural-born leader and planner. Also, she owns a museum full of a ton of different types of minerals which I think is pretty epic. I like her design, it matches her personality and gives you a sense of who she is.

Lanolin: Fairly obvious PTSD which I'm hoping the comics will delve into more at some point. She's interesting and a well-written character, overall extremely consistent in her development. She also has obviously negative feelings towards the Chaotix and I'm hoping they might address that at some point as well. Her design is definitely one of my favourites, what with its practicality concerning her job and immediate distinguishability. Plus she looks like a badass.

Whisper: She's an intriguing character, what with her gray/ambiguous sense of morality and general history. I like the direction the comics are going with her, although the team name section I feel could've used some work. But I understand if the writing team wasn't allowed to do certain things regarding that. I like her a lot, especially when her mercenary past comes to light in certain actions and situations. It reminds readers of the fact that she isn't as much of a "hero" as people believe her to be. Good character design.

Mimic: I don't have much to say about him, honestly. He's a good villain; he's well-written, consistent, and there's seemingly no remorse from his side about the situations he's set into motion. Also, his character design is dope.

Diamond Cutters (Smithy, Slinger, Claire): Good characters overall, good designs too. Not much to say besides that the comics gave them a good amount of depth to give you a sense of loss when they died without overloading you with too much information.

Belle: Another one of my favourite characters. She's so interesting and distinct compared to the rest of the cast; she was created by Mr. Tinker to be a source of good, to rebuild and fix broken things and make people happy, but also to be her own independent person. She's so unlike the rest of Eggman's creations---while Orbot, Cubot, Metal, etc. were built to serve his every will and command like a robot would, Belle was built to be a person with her own thoughts and feelings. She's just so intriguing to me, and I really like where they've gone with her. Also, her design is really good.

Clutch: Another good villain. I think he works really well with Rough & Tumblr and I'm excited to see what the new issues have in store for him. He's got a sort of suave confidence to him which I enjoy, not to mention he's a surprisingly relaxed person despite being a criminal. All in all, there's not much to say about him besides that I think his character and personality are fascinating and I can't wait for what the new issues have in store for him. He also has a really great design and I love the big puffy coat for him---the size helps add to his imposing aura but the fluffiness makes him seem more innocuous which matches his energy of being more than meets the eye.

Rough & Tumble: Unironically my favourite villains so far. They're silly and ridiculous but also so interesting to me because there's so much story potential for these two---like what happened to Tumble's tail, how would they work with certain characters, and what's going on with these two and Clutch? Despite how little we've gotten for them I already love them so much, there's just something so special about these two that I can't properly explain. They feel like so much more than just comic relief, and I'm genuinely really excited to see where these two go. They also have a lot of possibility for redemption so I'm hoping we might see that start to happen in a future issue. Design-wise a bit plain in comparison to others but no less distinct or enjoyable.

Starline: A very good villain for the time he was here. I think he's definitely the cruellest antagonist we've gotten, moreso than Eggman himself, and the fact that his own hubris is what got him killed in the end is certainly fitting. I've seen a lot of hope that they'll bring him back, but honestly, I feel he fits better as a ghost that forever haunts the people that he broke and re-made into his own vision than as some sort of Tommy Turtle knock-off. His storyline was coherent and consistent without being predictable, and his design was enjoyable and caught my eye.

Surge & Kit: Both are very enjoyable and well-written characters. Not only is their current story extremely interesting to learn about, but their history and pasts are also an object of fascination and theorizing for me. They both have obvious childhood trauma from before Starline's experiments, and I'm hoping that the comics delve deeper into the psychological effects that the two deal with. I'm also hoping we get to see a sort of redemption arc for the two of them since that seems to be the path that the two are set to be on. Both of their designs are distinct and appealing without being too much and provide a layer of information about them without having to say anything. All-in-all, extremely good characters and antagonists.

Nite & Don: Not much to say besides that I think they're a really good pair and I liked the stories they were in. They work well as friends of the Chaotix, and I hope we get to see them again. The designs are pretty good, too.

Ron: His storyline was immaculate and heart-wrenching and made me more emotional than I'd like to admit. Despite his side character status, he's definitely in line to be a mainline character, and I hope we get to see more of him soon.

Just kidding! But I do really like him, solely based on the one scene he was in and his cool design. You will forever be in my heart, Ron the chilli dog vendor, and may you rest in peace in one-off character heaven.

[loveoaths]

new mandalorian episode thoughts:

finally, cameos i care about! (outside of andor)

wish jack black and lizzo had fucked on screen for 30 minutes though

din saying "handy" made me laugh. his dialogue has always been dumb as hell but handy really got to me this week

shoutout to the old man sleeper cell agent for a political party that hasn't existed in 40 years. gotta love his tenacity!

love that a dude can release murder nanobot droids and his punishment is to hang his head real low and do a slow walk of shame off to private exile on a moon somewhere! like unironically i do love that because fuck prison, but also watching him mope off like a kid who got told he gets no dessert tonight was stupid as hell. A+ all around

it's becoming more and more annoying to me that grogu didn't get to stay with luke, because he serves zero function in the narrative right now. this season would feel more balanced if the story was split into three: din helping bo retake mandalore; luke training grogu; and moff gideon's schemes spreading corruption and and dissent throughout the new republic. as a triad, din's absence from his own scenes would feel less jarring because we would be balancing two other stories, grogu and luke's characters would be expanded on and become plot relevant again as grogu's powers advanced, and more seeds of intrigue about gideon's plans could be spread without dropping 30 minutes of pershing bullshit into a single episode, which i am still flabbergasted about

this really really should be bo katan's own show (i get why that isn't possible etc etc) and sometimes it annoys me that it isn't, because while a good creative team could have made this show a two-fisted hand-off from din to bo that didn't feel jarring, this creative team is not that. so it still feels off to me personally to tune in knowing i will see din for all of 5 minutes in an episode

however i am enjoying bo katan's story. i just wish din wasn't relegated to audience surrogate / question asker so bo can exposit / be cool. because even the action shots / din action moves are reduced and bo katan takes the spotlight for fights even when it would fit din's character just as much to make certain moves / take a fight highlight, but also because this series is now about setting her up as a redeemed action heroine figure, it makes sense why they are shifting focus in everything to her. still feels not right though. i hope they at least find smoother transitions into her focus scenes because right now it's just. not the best. and imo people would respond to her better if her narrative was seen more as assisted by/woven into din's, rather than her suddenly taking his place in the narrative, which is what i suspect the anti-bo fans are actually upset over. trick people into thinking they want the same thing as you do, and they will. but the season's structure so far has done the opposite of that, which is bothering people, which is bothering me because i have to see those people complain about her all over my dash

fix the season for me and me alone favreauni. thank u.

[thirdmagic]

honestly if barbie had been a 100% uncritical and unironic celebration of barbie as an empowering feminist figure i would have really checked out of it quickly. because yes, the takes that barbie is literally ruining the world and is a literal agent of the patriarchy is wrong and unfair and the idea that she's single handedly responsible for causing body image issues is really reductive, there's a reason it's in the movie and it's from the mouth of a tween girl in its most cartoonish exaggerated form lmao. but we've all been that pink-hating tween girl at some point who has only just discovered these words and terms for things we've always felt all our lives and our understanding of it is still kinda immature and reactionary. i do broadly think and feel very positively of barbie as a cultural icon, and I mean yeah a lot of it is nostalgia some of it is just me wanting to reclaim this symbol of everything girly that is derided for being girly and we feel we're forced to give up because its considered lesser. but genuinely i do think she's been the target of lots and lots of very unfair and bad faith criticism over the years. At the same time, if the film had unironically taken the "Barbie is Only a force for good and Has Solved Feminism" stance, like- that would have just really stretched my ability to engage with the film, because well, that's not really true or fair either, and I just wouldn't be able to buy it even from a very good film.

in the end the place barbie holds in legacy and place and culture is just... complicated. good or bad isnt really the question, she is a cultural icon, she responds to certain trends, she represents certain trends, she defies certain trends, she is shaped by the culture she is part of. and people will respond to that differently. that's why the trailer tagline was 'if you love her barbie or if you hate barbie, this movie is for you', and i think why the film really really works for me is that it delivers on that promise. it does what i most wanted and hoped it would do when i saw it would go for that more meta angle, by wrestling with the many different complicated layers of her legacy and what she means to many different people, good and bad, without damning her or elevating her on a pedestal.

because yeah i don't think we can deny that in many ways she is an embodiment of a sort of ideal and stereotypical femininity that yes is a largely patriarchal standard. but it's also the fact that she does do a lot to empower girls to have dreams and ambitions and to seek out self fulfillment and creativity in their play, and that is important and significant and beautiful about what she does do. but the other side of that is the insane amount of pressure you might feel as a girl to Be Something and how your only worth is if you're exceptional in some way, and she does interact with that, the messaging behind her does feed into that, if only because its an idea that already exists and is ingrained in us from society on the whole. and the film responds to that by making 'it's ok to just be you' its core message, by emphasizing with that struggle, by having barbie herself decide to just be regular and human and find worth in humanity and human flaws of flesh and aging and body. and a fully grown adult woman, a mom with a desk job who understands full well that nothing about barbie is realistic and didn't fulfill any of the ambitions barbie represents, can find joy and relief and value and beauty in playing with her.

it doesn't offer an easy answer of 'is barbie good or bad' because there is no easy answer to that, and it gives us the veneer of a hollywood happy ending but ultimately it doesn't pretend that everything's been solved forever and now everything will be good. there is a fair bit of cynicism in the line 'one day the kens will hold as much power in barbieland as women do in the real world' with how the film understands that inequality cant be magically fixed and it doesn't try to sell you on that either- again, if it had been the kind of Inequality Has Been Solved And Everyone Is Happy ending you kind of expect from most fantasy-ish movies to this effect I would have just not bought it. Ending on the note of and "our Barbie, the main character, found her path in life and is happy even if the world isn't fixed" just feels more honest for this kind of personal story really.

beyond saying only one specific thing about it, the film is in conversation with the legacy and the discussion around barbie, which is the most important thing that a film about barbie, as a brand or as a character, can be. it brings it into the film and makes that entire conversation the central conceit and uses it as a vehicle to explore ideas about womanhood on the whole, which i think is ultimately a good choice because it's that very legacy and discussion that makes barbie as a character and a cultural icon perfect for this kind of metaphor.

[morgue-xiiv]

The thing is it's next to impossible to REMEMBER an arbitrary rule. Because the brain remembers things VIA conncections. That's how memories work! So imagine a rule like "don't operate heavy machinery while drunk", the rule connects to your understanding that alcohol impairs judgement and reflexes, you drink some alcohol you think okay my reflexes are impaired, you remember not to operate heavy machinary. Imagine a rule that you must wear a hi vis jacket when crossing an area of a factory, once you know it's about visiblity and safety you have a bunch of things to connect it to and remember it. Those things act like triggers reinforcing the rule in your mind. Every time you see someone driving a forklift you think "must wear the hi vis so I can be seen". And then you also think about colour contrast and visibility and the social reinforcement of colour and meanings ascribed to it. If you're struggling to follow the rule you can tell yourself a little story about it like "oh I didn't wear the jacket and got bumped by a forklift and it hurt like a lot, that made the forklift driver feel terrible but it wasn't his fault he's primed to look for hi vis stuff and I was just wearing black."

Imagine the rule is that you must wear a bobble hat with the company logo when in a certain area of the factory. What the FUCK do you connect that to? If you don't understand the rule you can't think about it. You cannot remember it. You can't imagine a little story about what might happen if you don't follow the rule or history of why it was implemented to fix it in your mind. If you try to make a story about it it would be "I didn't wear the hat and my boss yelled at me for that idk why" which is NOT a compelling narrative. Nothing. Even if it is stored in your brain, without connections you cannot RETIEVE the information it just floats free invisible as "memory of time I was told arbitrary rule".

Now imagine I reveal the origins, the rule turns out to be because there's a lot of plaster dust falling in that area and small flakes of plaster get in people's hair, and the company bobble hat is a part of the uniform they already had so they instituted the rule so that people would have presentable hair when they go home and keep their own hats clean. Even if the rule is still a little SILLY, It's now really memorable!

So I unironically do not understand HOW other people follow arbitrary rules. How do you remember what they are? What's your trigger to remember the rule?

The thing with neurodivergent folk and rules is that if they don't understand why a rule exists they will not follow it ever

They will listen politely while being told the rule but then will immediately ignore it because they perceive it as nonsense

They won't argue either they just will not follow that rule unless it is explained fully so that they do understand why it exists

On the flip side if they do understand a rule they will be completely enraged that no one else is following the clear instructions! They follow it scrupulously and so should everyone else

There is no middle ground

[timetofigureitout]

The thing about my degree that makes me so mad is that it is actually, unironically, fucking useless. I can’t get any job and I’m not qualified even partially for any of these jobs I want. I don’t know fucking biology or field work I don’t know GIS or anything science-y and even if I did everything is so fucking saturated it wouldn’t even matter!! I can’t even get a call back on a stupid fucking dishwashing job, every job application I finish I immediately start crying because I already know I’m not getting it, it makes me not even want to bother because even the jobs that I am super qualified for and would do really well in…I doubt they even look at my resume. I doubt it even makes it past the ATS and it pisses me off because I would be so good if someone just gave me the chance and was willing to train me on things and give me time and space to learn but nobody fucking is!! They expect you to come into these jobs with the full knowledge and expertise to do your work but that’s not how things work and nobody has any patience anymore!! I’m so fucking exhausted and every day I just get sadder and sadder and I’m sick of it I’m stuck in this house because of my cat and because I don’t have money to move and nothing is gonna get better while I’m in Bend because it sucks living here, the environmental sector is over saturated and too competitive for me EVEN with a fucking master’s degree…I just feel absolutely fucking hopeless. It’s all just a fucking waste. I might as well just go back to food service until I can move out and try to find somewhere else to live and work. Even then I’m so scared that a job that wants me to relocate would fuck me over. Not that any job would fucking pick me because after years of being told I not only need a bachelor’s degree but now also a master’s to get a decent job I did that, I got the fucking degree and now nobody cares!! nobody cares!! I wanna scream and cry and punch something and I can’t I’m too tired I can barely get myself to take a shower and I don’t want to go to therapy because this requires me to think about all of this and actually address it but the thing is at a certain level I’m up against structural barriers that therapy can’t fucking fix for me!!!!

[snake-it-happen]

so many times i have been waiting for certain things that make me unironically think “this wouldn’t fix everything in my life but it would get pretty close” and then the thing will happen and it has never worked but i will continue thinking it about some future thing that has not yet happened 👍 does that make sense. i refuse to end these patterns

[biblioflyer]

I think one weird point is your analysis is when you cite other eras and cultures having jumbled mythology stories and then say humans are cheesy…. Perhaps humans are diverse and there has been and will be a minority(?) population who are not cheesy and who are tired of ALL that shit. If I were in Ancient Rome I would be bitterly complaining about the fake histories and lack of interest in the exact cut and dry truth and what it tells us instead of entertaining (and obscuring) fictions. Especially when those fictions were being taken as history by many and tended to teach specific ideologies that weren’t even been seen as being driven in by those story-vehicles. I have always hated and will always be tired of cheese. Don’t feel like it’s the position of a lesser mind who needs to change it’s just a different feeling.

This is a fair observation. I get the exhaustion with motifs and devices that feel contrived or played out. This was my experience of mid-2000s “edgy” works like Battlestar Galáctica or Heroes. These are definitely two shows that had me grinding my teeth by their third seasons because I felt like what I was given wasn’t what I signed up for. What I enjoyed at the beginning felt increasingly distant.

I’ve also been incredibly annoyed by certain aspects of how Disney Plus has handled action sequences featuring “minion” type enemies in Star Wars and the way that beskar seems to magnetically attract blaster bolts. It has often felt like a rail shooter on trivial difficulty spliced onto a mostly interesting plot.

So I get it. I wouldn’t be as interested in the weeds of world building if I didn’t think there was something rich to be gained from taking this stuff seriously. I keep referencing “The Drumhead” a lot because I think it really shows what Trek is capable of when it pushes itself. Yet that’s also not all Star Trek is. It mixes and matches itself with a lot of other genres and frequently the outcome is a very Whovian loose approach to continuity and a fair bit of mirth.

Part of looking at Trek as a sort of modern oral storytelling tradition is my own way of accepting the artificiality of it. Trek has been a very meaningful part of my life from my earliest memories and I’m not without some very strong opinions about what is and isn’t “good” Star Trek, they just happen to be more oriented towards themes and the setting’s moral assumptions than whether the fan service is over the top or there are obvious continuity errors or oversights. I recognize these things but I don’t experience them as particularly irksome. Usually.

While I love many properties that take themselves deadly seriously, The Expanse for instance, I just realize it’s only one storytelling style that Trek engages with. After spending many a year griping about canon on Spacebattles and Stardestroyer.net, I got to a place where I found no joy in the hot take. I still love a well crafted head canon to “fix” a blunder, but now I take a look at continuity violations and cheese and ask myself whether it serves a purpose or if there was a better, more consistent and less cringe way to go about things.

Having said that, if I’m not mistaken my next rewatch is what I consider to be the worst episode of Picard season one, maybe the whole series. So I have limits although I make it a point of pride to hold my opinions loosely. I want to reevaluate Picard because I suspect and have found much that appeals to the serious, contemplative fan in me that I think is tragically and frequently lost in the fandom civil wars.

But if I have failed to make it clear, I think Star Trek belongs to both the Memory Alpha contributors and the people who unironically like the Abrams films. I have no beef with serious fans who prefer the crunchy side of sci-fi as long as we can have a mutual understanding that this setting contains multitudes and there’s a very important line between rendering critique of an entertainment property and treating each other unkindly for liking different thing.

When I tease the archetype of the reactionary fan or the person who too literally wants it to be a documentary of the future, this is really directed at a type of person who is not reflective about their own preferences and feels the need to be abusive to other fans or otherwise tend to get rather hyperbolic beyond any sense of proportionality. If that doesn’t sound like you, then we are part of the same rowdy team.

[boymeetsweevil]

Call me maybe

Grouping: Reader x Namjoon

Word Count: ~6.59k

Warnings/Themes: Club meet-cute AU, 1% angst +99% suggestive fluff, (legal!) alcohol consumption, language, flirting anxiety(?)

Summary: It all started with a stupid drinking game...

A/N: this is the One Direction wattpad-style fanfic that's been haunting me for so long. beware of that and the fact that this is unedited hahaha...

“You know the rules, girls. Whoever wins this round of rock-paper-scissors is It.”

You and your three friends, warm and bubbly from 2 rounds of shots at this point in the evening, assume your battle stances and stick your hands into the center of your table. Four hands make a square over the scattered layer of empty decorative shot glasses from the bar in the club.

There’s an air of electric excitement that comes with this game, lovingly nicknamed Hunter-Gathering. Whoever is It gets a target and has to pursue that target in hopes of bringing ‘home’ free drinks for everyone the rest of the night. But no matter how attractive the target is, you can't ever bring them home.

“Wait, wait!” Lia chimes in. “I can’t be It this time. I did it twice already and my ass still hurts from the last time.”

Dani nods seriously. “Fair enough. That means the odds are upped for the rest of you.”

“So, we’re just gonna ignore that ass thing,” another friend, Alexa, looks around the table with confused eyes.

“Do you actually want me to give you the details?” Lia smiles slowly at her from across the table.

Alexa’s face brightens with her own smile, worry evaporated. “You know what? I don’t! Never mind.”

The game begins and somehow you find yourself the lone rock amongst two pairs of scissors. Alexa and Dani laugh with relief because they don’t have to put in any work tonight. You roll your eyes to the heavens and silently question your karma.

“Are you ready to pick your target?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“Nope!” Dani grins.

She steps forward and grabs a clean face mask out of her clutch bag and wraps it around your eyes, careful not to muss your makeup or hair. Three pairs of hands rest on your shoulders and you let them spin you lightly around a few times. Not enough to get you dizzy but just enough to make sure you don’t know what direction you’re facing anymore.

“Alright,” Dani’s voice sounds out over the music of the club. “Take your pick!”

You stick your hand out blindly and someone unties the makeshift blindfold. Everyone follows the line your hand makes all the way to a tall figure standing by the side of the bar.

He’s probably the most handsome man any of you have seen in a while. There's an intimidating aura emanating from him. You figure it's the understated all-black outfit complete with the heinously expensive watch he's wearing and the sheer height of him as he towers over people near him at the bar.

“Oh my god,” Dani whispers as you all take in the stranger’s face.

“We can finally get top shelf vodka,” Alexa pretends to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Not bad,” Lia hums in appreciation.

“Okay, why is everyone acting like I bagged him already?” Your voice grows high with nerves. “I'm pretty sure I have, like, a 2% chance of interesting him."

“What are you so worried about?” Dani crosses her arms at you. “Just do whatever you did to get those history nerds to help you out that one time."

"This is not the same thing. Those guys parted their hair 90/10 unironically and thought Diva Cups are for when you don't want to hold your pee when you stand in line for roller coasters."

"You're kidding," Lia gasps. You wish you were.

"Well, just pretend he's one of them anyway." Dani suggests, "Every guy is the same."

You can't argue with that logic.

“I mean, I can try flirting with him, but he’s probably so used to people throwing themselves at him. I don’t think anything I do would, like, make a dent, you know?”

“Babe, no. No—listen to me, okay?” Alexa takes you by the shoulders and forces you around so you can see how serious she is.

“Tonight is the last free night of vacation. After tonight, we have less than a day to get over our hangovers, pack up the Airbnb, and then catch our 6am flight back home to start the spring term. Our last night of freedom lies in your hands.”

“But, what if—”

“No ‘but’s. Do you see yourself? Do you see your skin in this fresh white two piece? Have you seen how your tits look in this off the shoulder top? That poor man doesn’t stand a chance!”

Lia murmurs her agreement in the background and Dani mentions something about fearing for the guy's soul. You think about the freakishly good pictures you all took in the stylish club bathroom when you first arrived.

“I see your point.”

You turn back toward the bar to review your target. He sips from a dark green bottle as he looks around at the people on the dance floor between your table and the bar. As he continues to scan the room, he locks eyes with you. You hold his gaze even though your instincts are screaming at you to duck for cover. Surprisingly, he gives a small smile and raises his bottle in salute.

"See, you got the hardest part down already. Just fake the rest until you make it."

You chance a look back in his direction only to catch him staring in the direction of the table. When he catches your gaze again, he whips his head away, cheeks tinging pink under the soft yellow lighting at the bar.

Alexa cackles and starts detailing all the drinks she wants made with the top shelf vodka. Lia and Dani discuss leaving early to go back and clean up the apartment so it’s clean in case you break the rules and bring this guy back for the night.

“Uh, aren’t you guys moving a little fast?”

“Aren’t you moving a little slow,” Alexa counters.

“Hold on, Lex.” Dani turns to you. “You know you don’t actually have to do this if you don’t want to, right? Hunter-Gathering is just a game, there's no pressure.”

For all their poking and teasing, you're reminded right then and there that your friends would never put you in a situation where they thought you were actually at any risk. The weight you felt on your shoulders lightens somewhat.

“No, no, I definitely still want to play, I just don’t want you guys to get your hopes up.”

“I believe in you.”

Lia bumps shoulders with you quietly. She’s not the most affectionate, so you know she really means it.

“I’ll do my best.”

You let them tweak you a little bit, fixing stray hairs and wiping away smeared lip gloss and hiking up your skirt, giving you their drink orders, before you grab your purse and phone and push in your stool.

When you finally make it to the bar, he’s in the same spot as you first found him in. He spots you once you get close enough and naturally makes room for you. You set your bag on the bar countertop before hopping up on the empty stool immediately in front of him. The movement causes your skirt to ride up even more and you’re glad you only let Lia hike it up one inch instead of three.

Dani's advice about treating this guy like any other scrub from school reverbs in the back of your head right as the nerves start to set in. With the guys in your art history class, your grade was on the line. There was no room for hesitation when you could barely draw a stick figure, much less write an essay analyzing what an old painting style could tell you about the dairy economy in a certain town like some of your classmates were doing. It was because you were desperate that you were suddenly able to transform into a femme fatale. It also helped that these guys quivered at any interaction with an adult woman.

Tonight's drinks are on the line, you tell yourself. As best you can, you try to trick yourself into entering the same mindset you were in when you would lay on the charm extra thick for the art history guys.

You let the corner of your mouth lift up in a coy smile while you survey the bar. The bartender is moving back and forth quickly to handle the high demand. A second later the girl next to you leaves her spot with a tray of 8 bright pink drinks, practically glowing in the dark. You wonder briefly if you should try to get a round of those for the table.

“—one of those before?”

His voice is deep and pleasant. When you give him a look over your shoulder, you have to suppress a gasp. Up close he's even more handsome. You really have your work cut out for you.

“What?"

"That neon pink drink," he nods back in the direction of the girl who'd taken the cotton candy pink drinks with her. "I was wondering if you'd tried them before."

“No, I haven’t,” you smile, letting your lips part slowly. His eyes dart from your painted eyes to the colored stretch of your mouth and then quickly back up. “Have you?”

“No. But I like to try new things.”

You purse your lips as if in thought, something you've seen other girls do while flirting with guys at school. “You must be pretty unpredictable, then.”

“Huh? Well, I wouldn’t say that.” He stammers a bit and nearly drops his beer bottle trying and failing to put it down. All the intimidation you felt coming from him earlier seems to have disappeared.

“I was just kidding.”

Like it has a mind of its own, your hand reaches out to rest on his arm reassuringly while you continue to laugh at him. His features clear up then and a relieved smile blooms on his face, bringing out an adorable dimple with it.

“You’re teasing me,” he realizes with a good natured huff and steps into your touch.

“You seem kinda fun to tease.” You let your hand linger a little longer before finally pulling it back.

“It’s kinda fun. You're pretty good at it.”

Oddly enough, this isn't as difficult for you as you thought it was going to be. In fact, you find yourself naturally tilting your head and fixing him with an intrigued look from under your lashes. He takes the opportunity to look you over as well, a small smile on his lips.

The personal attention does make you a little nervous despite the fact that it’s positive. So you dig in your purse to avoid looking directly at him for too long and to give your hands something to do. You brush up against a tube of lip gloss, pull it out, and reapply some to your lips.

You look back at him when you realize he’s grown quiet, only to find him following the movements of the gloss brush tracing the curve of your lips, cheeks dusted pink and eyes half-closed like he's in some sort of trance.

Experimentally you press your lips together and then purse them to make sure the gloss is distributed evenly. The man doesn't blink once. Suddenly, all his expensive apparel and large stature aren’t so intimidating.

"Is there something on my face," you smirk.

He slow blinks down at your mouth twice before realizing you're speaking again. His eyes grow wide and he raises a ringed hand to rub at the back of his neck. The movement rustles the hair covering his ears, revealing their pink tips. Cute.

"Just looking."

You laugh a little at him again. He marvels at the way the club lighting dances around in your glossy smile.

"So, how come I've never seen you here before?"

"Well...it's the first time me and my friends have come here."

"I see." He pivots to face you and leans his closest elbow on the counter of the bar. "Are you guys new to the area?"

"You could say that, yeah."

He raises an eyebrow when you don’t elaborate. Without looking away, he raises his hand to signal to the bartender that he wants another drink. When the bartender runs right over, you realize this guy actually might be a big deal. Silently you pull your card out of your wallet as the bartender makes their way over. You figure you’ll have to spend some money before you can really ask someone like him to buy drinks for your table.

"What'll it be,” the bartender asks.

"Two of those pink drinks please," he says and before you can place any order the bartender zooms away.

While the bartender starts preparing the drinks, you turn toward him.

"Who said I wanted the pink drink?"

He grins down at you, a dimple now popping up in each cheek. "Who said it's for you?"

"I'm pretty sure it's for me."

"And what makes you so sure?" He takes a step closer to you.

"Just a hunch," you hum before crossing your legs.

The white fabric of your skirt hikes up your thighs again with the movement. You smooth your palms over the soft material.

"Nice skirt."

"Yeah? You like it?"

"I like it," he admits quietly.

"And the top?" You gesture toward the pair of straps on the matching tube top, manicured nails gliding over your décolletage. He wets his lips.

"The top too."

He reaches out one large hand to one of the straps that have fallen over your shoulder. The drag of his fingers against your bare arm as he fixes it makes you shiver. You lament the loss of contact when pulls his hand back.

The bartender arrives with your drinks then, startling the both of you out of the little staring competition that had spontaneously started. The pink drink seems to glow from within, topped with whipped cream and full of little round ice cubes made from some sort of darker rose syrup floating in the liquid like lava in a lava lamp. The color barely prepares you for the thick sweetness that floods your mouth on the first sip.

"Oh, that's kinda..."

He huffs a laugh around his own first swallow and nods in agreement.

"Not what you wanted?"

"It's just really sweet. You like it?”

He shrugs. “It’s alright. But—"

The way he cuts himself off has you confused for a moment before he's reaching towards you cautiously. You're not too sure what's going on until you feel the pad of his thumb swipe over the corner of your lips carrying away some of the whipped topping from the drink. Your eyes widen when instead of wiping the cream on one of the cocktail napkins available on the counter he brings his thumb to his own lips. In a fraction of a second the cream is gone, but you're left feeling a rush of fluttering warmth on the side of your mouth and in the center of your chest.

"You think your friends would like these?” He slides his drink to the side so he can lean on his elbow and turn to you again. Now's your chance.

“Um, I don’t think this is really their style.”

“What is their style?”

You rattle off their drinks of choice, making sure to mention their favorite brands with a sigh. Of course, whenever you play this game, the brands can change depending on the budget of whoever’s buying. This time, you make sure to name drop as much as possible, per Alexa's request.

“Sounds like your friends really know what they like.”

“Yeah, they have really…unique tastes.” You falter a little under his amused stare. “But we don’t always drink that way. I mean, not every bar even carries all those to begin with.”

“That’s true.” He nods. “This bar has every single of them, though. Pretty lucky, huh?”

“Yep,” you chirp. You’re not sure if you’re in trouble or not because he’s still smiling. He seems to be onto the game, but doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“Well, it would be a shame not to welcome you all to the city. Get whatever you want. My treat.”

“Are you sure?”

You place your hand on his arm again and squeeze for good measure. You don’t miss the way his large bicep flexes under your touch. After a beat, he brings his hand up to grasp yours and holds it while signaling to the bartender again. You give him a blindingly bright smile and he strokes his thumb over your knuckles.

He asks the bartender to ‘take care’ of your table tonight on him, and you realize then that you’ve won the game. The victory isn't nearly as sweet as the pink drinks from earlier. The rules prohibit you from bringing him home or going over to his place. And even if it wasn't prohibited, your vacation is basically over.

“Where are you and your friends from?

You take his hand between yours and play with some of the rings on his fingers. They’re beautiful together in an eclectic way and you wonder if someone chose them for him.

“It’s a kind of small city, not like this one. It’s really just our university and then a few surrounding towns.”

“What made you guys move here then?"

"Oh, Right." You feel guilty. "Me and my friends are just here for vacation."

He blinks at you but takes the news in stride. "Well, if you want—I know the city pretty well since I have a place here—maybe I can give you a tour of the town later this week."

"I'd love that, I really would. But we're actually leaving tomorrow."

"For real?” His eyes grow wide and he looks down at your linked hands before looking over your face. You're shocked to see his features fall.

"Yeah, it sucks."

“Damn,” he smiles bittersweet at the floor. “I wish we’d bumped into each other sooner.”

“I absolutely agree," the sound of Alexa's voice rings loud in your ear.

“Uh, hello. Did you need me for something?" Your voice is high and tight as you fix her with an accusatory stare. You're not 100% positive, but it seemed like you and he were having a moment.

"No, babe, I just wanted to come over and show you my beautiful drink. I wanted to come show my gratitude to you both for making sure we have a good last night. The girls will appreciate that. Thank you, kind sir."

“Name’s Namjoon. And no need to thank me,” he smiles at the exchange between you two and sticks out his hand. Alexa daintily lays her hand in his and he lets out an incredulous laugh before playing along and raising it to his lips.

"What a gentleman," she coos before pinching lightly at the skin of your exposed back. It's a clear message just for you, telling you that there's about to be a change in plans. "What were you guys discussing?"

"I was actually about to offer up our booth. There's more than enough room for your table if you wanted to move. Me and my team—friends definitely wouldn't mind the company."

“You don’t have to do that!” You pipe up, suddenly shy. But it's quickly dashed away as Alexa pulls out her phone and opens up the groupchat.

"Let me just ask our friends if they’d like that."

You already know the answer, so you sigh quietly and gather up your card, phone, and purse. You can’t say you won’t miss the privacy from when it was just you and Namjoon, but you’re glad to be with your friends again as well.

The move from your little table to the VIP booth is lightning fast. By the time you get your own drink, Lia and Dani are already clutching their things and vibrating with excitement near the ropes leading to the VIP booth. A few of Namjoon’s friends are chatting with them from the other side of the ropes.

Once your group trickles in, you don't miss how they all arrange themselves in the booth so you're forced to sit on the end next to Namjoon with barely any space. The only options are to let one of your legs hang off the edge of the booth the whole time or sit practically half in his lap. Alexa winks at you over the first sip of her next very expensive drink.

Namjoon's friends are occupied by your friends re-telling some of the more exciting parts of the beginning of your vacation. Some story about how 'someone' lost their top while trying to jet ski. You send a weak glare to Lia as she tries to get them to guess just whose top it was. That's what you get for experimenting with spaghetti strings, you suppose.

"Do you guys like to dance," one of his friends says after a while of vibing to the music once the chatter cools down. Hoseok, you think his name was.

"Yes, definitely." Dani remarks while re-applying lip gloss. "You know who's a great dancer?"

"Who?" Hoseok looks around excitedly.

"She's gonna say me," you groan. "Which is not even true but let’s just all move down there already, no more 20 questions."

"Just one more," she pouts. "Namjoon, do you like to dance?"

He looks down at you once he's also out the booth, that little amused smile back on his lips.

"Well, it's not really part of my day job, but I don't mind it too much."

"What's your day job," you blurt out.

"I'm a...musician."

"A musician!" Alexa rushes over to you to link arms. "Did you hear that? Namjoon’s a musician."

"I don't recognize you," Lia says and Hoseok and another one of his friends burst into quiet laughter behind her.

"You definitely won't find Joon’s pics anywhere, that's for sure," one of his friends says. The rest of them dissolve into another fit of giggles.

The club lights hide the muted pink tinge his cheeks take on, and Namjoon leads the way to the dance-floor with a chagrined roll of his eyes.

"You think he's really a musician?” You whisper to Alexa and Lia. Dani is somewhere up ahead, already dancing.

"Maybe technically. Going off the way his friends keep laughing, he's probably, like, a failed SoundCloud rapper or something."

"No failed SoundCloud rapper wears Gucci like that," Lia motions with her chin to some piece of Namjoon’s outfit.

"That's true," you hum.

"Rich parents," Alexa says simply.

You and Lia consider it and then nod.

As you settle on the dance floor, you feel the rest of your nerves drift away. Lia comes over to take a selfie with you, and the two of you flirt with the camera until she's satisfied with the photos you've taken. She grabs your hand and makes a show of spinning you around and you figure that this is how the night will go before you stumble out around 2 or 3am and drunk pack for the flight home the next morning. You let her lead you back, further into the crowd before you bump into someone.

Namjoon's large hand comes to stabilize you at your waist and Lia acts like nothing happened before dancing away, phone light illuminating her sneaky smile.

"You good?" Namjoon's voice is soft in your ear.

"Y-yeah."

"You wanna dance, or should I let you go?"

Your friends shamelessly all look at the way he curves himself around you, all with their thumbs up in encouragement. You're reminded of the way you did the same a few nights prior when Dani was getting hit on by some cute guy at a different club.

At that time it felt fun hyping her up and watching her make a move, seeing how enamored this random guy was with your friend. Of course he is, you thought at the time, she's amazing. And you remember that this is probably what's driving them tonight as well with you and Namjoon.

You chance a look at him and realize that he's come to rest his cheek lightly near your temple, a soft look in his gaze as he awaits your answer.

"Sure, let's dance."

Namjoon was telling the truth when he said he wasn't all that into dancing. But he put in enough work to be able to follow you and meet you halfway while you were grinding on him to the music.

Even when you shyly stepped away after the first few dances to return to your squealing friends, you loosened up over time with more music and drinks and found yourself naturally ending up on him again. The first few songs turned into more and more and soon you were face-to-face, with his thigh wedged between yours and a heavy palm on your lower back guiding you to the beat.

You're not sure when you decided to abandon your friends and his, but at some point you did return to the booth under the guise of checking your phones. And you did check your phone first. But soon he was crowding you toward the wall by the booth and leaving you with no air of your own.

"You're really leaving tomorrow," he sighed into a bruise he was trying to leave near the hollow of your throat. "Or did you just say that because I was some creep at a bar."

"I never thought you were a creep."

He looks down at you with disbelief before getting distracted by your kiss-swollen lips.

"I mean it. I'm just a little shy sometimes."

"What do you have to be shy about when you look like this, huh?"

"Stop," you laugh lightly and look away from him.

He'd made a comment earlier about how much he liked the pristine white two piece you wore, but you'd been inching his hand up your skirt then. Now, one of his thumbs rubs an idle pattern just below the curve of your breast.

"No, but seriously. Are you actually leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah. The new term starts for us all in a few days."

"So, leave in a few days," Namjoon whines.

"That's not enough time to get ready for the term."

"But I'll be so alone without you."

He gives you an exaggerated pout that splits into a real smile when you snort at his stupid expression. He pulls you to him just a smidgen tighter then.

"Does this usually work with other girls?"

"I don't know. Never tried it with other girls," he frowns a little at you.

"Sure."

"You know me and the team almost went to Club BigHit last Saturday?"

"Oh, really? That's kinda funny." You try to imagine what might have happened if he'd come to the same club you went to earlier.

"Yeah," Namjoon's voice grows quiet. "If I hadn't gotten sick then we would have met last week."

"Yeah, maybe."

"You sure you can't miss a few days of the term?"

"Yes, I'm sure." You let out an exasperated laugh. "You can't really be this upset that an actual stranger is just passing through your life."

"No, I know. I just—," he lets his head fall forward until he's touching his forehead to yours. "It was like something clicked when I saw you. I feel like I need more time with you."

"Oh," your voice comes out a little breathier than you expected.

The same look that had flashed across his face when you first came up to him finally gets to rest on his features. You want to let him down gently because you really can't play catch up during the first week of school.

"Tell you what. I can't miss the beginning of the term but if you make a song with my name in it and it gets...say, 50,000 listens, I'll buy a ticket that same day and come meet you. Wherever you are."

He pins you with a look then, inquisitive and dark. His eyes scan your open expression for something, before whatever he finds passes the test. He stands up tall.

"And it just needs to have 50,000 listens?"

In your mind you were thinking it would be too lofty for a failed SoundCloud rapper, but something in his tone sounds like he's rising to the challenge and it makes you nervous. You spent a lot on this vacation, you can't afford to actually fly out so soon if he somehow managed to get the listens and call your bluff. Besides, targets are off limits.

"Um, actually make that 150,000. And it has to have my area code in it too." You rattle off the three digits to him and he quickly types your conditions into the notes app on his phone.

"Is that it?"

"That's it, I guess."

"Deal."

Namjoon pockets his phone and leans back into your space. Any worries you had clawing to the forefront of your mind vanish when he presses soft lips to yours once more.

A month passes.

You don't end up having a one-night-stand with Namjoon because it wouldn't be fair to your friends when they'd clicked with a target but didn't take them home. That and because Dani got sick on the dance floor from mixing strawberry daiquiri with one too many pink drinks. But you do pass on your full number after he very nearly begs you to give it to him while packing into a cab.

And then he never used it.

It's not that you were expecting much, but when a month passes with not so much as word from him, you figure he forgot about you and your little bet.

Then 2 months pass.

Even though you know that you only spent a fraction of a day with him, you can't help thinking about Namjoon. Namjoon and his pretty eyes and pretty words that made you think there was some sort of connection there. You realize after the first two weeks back that you don't have his number but by the time 2 months pass, you realize that was definitely on purpose.

4 months pass.

You're over it, swamped with end of term work like finals and grading and putting in hours at work. But every time your friends suggest a little fun and hooking you up with someone, every time someone asked for your number at a coffee shop, you said no. Because you're over it and you're busy and not at all disappointed for how hard you fell for the lies some failed SoundCloud rapper fed you on a vacation one time.

19 weeks pass.

You're all in Lia's apartment, basking in the first few days of the end of classes even if it means finals are a few days later. Alexa is playing her favorite playlist on the speakers and you're taking a break to get some coffee going in the small kitchenette.

While the coffee machine starts up you wander back to the main room. Alexa is leaning over to turn the music up, one of her favorite songs just now coming up.

"Who's this again," Dani pipes up from her spot on the couch. "It's that one guy's collab with the Bulletproof Girlscouts, right?"

"Yep," Alexa checks the song title before sighing. "This song is so old now."

"True, but it's my favorite one on the whole album."

"I guess it really has been two years since his last album, huh." Dani muses and then goes back to her practice problem set.

You try not to laugh at how cute Alexa looks sulking because her favorite artist hasn't put out any music in so long.

"Why don't you just play his new stuff," Lia says.

"He's on indefinite hiatus. This is as new as it gets."

Lia picks up her own phone, showing it to the group.

"He released a new single this morning."

"What!"

Alexa scrambles from her seat to grab her headphones and jam them into her phone. You all know how she gets about her music and let her have a moment to soak up the new song while you get up to check on the coffee.

It takes a few minutes to get cups out and put everything together since everyone has different tastes, so you're in the middle of pouring creamer when you hear a chorus of screams.

"Why are we screaming?"

You rush into the main room again only to be bombarded with music from the speaker, this time turned up as high as it can go. What must be the new song comes through the speaker, the bass vibrating on the ground as the speaker pumps.

"Okay, yes, new song. It's good but I don't get—"

"Just listen to the fucking bridge," Dani's voice comes out incredibly shrill as she cuts you off.

The beat surges for the bridge and suddenly the lyrics turn into the artist growling about some girl he met at the club with the prettiest little white outfit he'd ever seen. Saying something that sounds oddly like your name, although you figure that can't be right. But then the next verse has your name in it too, and the next one, and the next one.

Your feet take you to where Alexa's phone is plugged in and you pick up the phone to look at the song. It's indeed a song by her favorite artist, a prolific and mysterious rapper who's never shown his face and who'd been on hiatus from making music. The song title is simple, a small string of numbers that look suspiciously like your area code.

When you let out a tiny gasp, your friends let out more excited shrieks. You ignore them in favor of thumbing through the music app to the artist's page where the new single lies at the top of his discography. To the right of all his songs are the stream counts. Most of his older songs have a few dozen million or so. This brand new one sits at a modest 4 million, but the numbers trickle up as the app updates them in real time.

"What the hell?"

"I know!" Alexa cries, tears shining in her eyes. "I can't believe we sat in a VIP booth with him and I didn't even recognize his stupid voice!"

"What are you gonna do," Dani smiles widely at your stunned face. "Are you gonna call him?"

"I don't have his number," you say simply. Your voice comes out monotone with shock.

"You didn't get his number?" Alexa starts crying for real.

"People are blowing my phone up about this," Lia says once the song ends and begins again on a loop. "You might want to turn off your phone. It's just a matter of time until people start snooping around."

"Right."

You grab your phone from your pocket. On instinct you scan through your socials one last time before turning it off. There's a startling number of texts, calls, emails, and notifications on your social media apps. Curiosity gets the best of you and you open up one of them only to find your name trending as the top hashtag. Clicking on it brings up a bunch of tweets both from fans raving about the new song and wondering who the muse is, to random accounts with identical names in the handle all claiming to be said muse.

"Oh my god, he tweeted!" Dani shoves her phone into your hands.

As of right now [2:38pm] we're at 5.76 million streams. That's more than 150,000...

"What does that mean," she asks you.

"It means...he wants me to fly out to see him. Today."

"Oh my god."

Alexa screams again and at this point you've lost count of how many that is. Lia gets out of her chair and tucks her chin over your shoulder to read the post herself.

"You need to go," Alexa shouts. "I'll help you pack, let's go."

"What about finals?"

"Are you—are you actually thinking of not going because of finals?"

"I mean—"

"If you want me die, just say that," she does something with her mouth that looks like a manic smile.

"What Lex means to say is that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm sure even the profs would understand."

You're not sure what to say. First of all, you still don't have his number. Second of all, you're not sure how to fight through all the other accounts claiming to be you to let him know you saw the song. Third, you don't even know where to fly to. Fourth—

A Twitter notification chimes from your phone and a deadly hush falls over everyone. You go to your DM inbox with shaking fingers only to find a message request from an unknown sender. When you open the request, it's from Namjoon's agency.

Good afternoon,

You are being contacted today because one of our artists wishes to meet you. If you consent to the meeting, please review the flight information and tentative itinerary below and respond with your address and contact information. Please also note that the travel plans are for today [MM/DD/YYYY], so your response at your earliest convenience would be much appreciated. If you would like to go but cannot make it today—

"Do you think they'll send a car or should I book her a ride to the airport now?" Dani turns to Alexa.

"They'll probably send one to make sure the schedule is followed."

"That's true but what about—"

Lia taps you on the shoulder, startling you out of your stupor.

"There's a convenience store two doors down. Whatever you buy we can put in one of my suitcases and you can just take that. There's probably not enough time to go all the way back to your place."

"I—yeah, okay."

7 hours later finds Alexa, Dani and Lia finished with studying for the night. The entertainment channel is playing on the TV and the three of them have their heads bent over their phones and laptops, refreshing all the major gossip sites for updates.

"Maybe she's not even there yet," Dani sighs when the page she just refreshed shows no new posts.

"Yeah, I mean we still don't even know where she is," Lia says while putting her laptop to sleep. "What if they made her sign an NDA?"

"Even if they did, she'd probably still tell us once she got there. She's probably just busy killing time on the plane."

"She's sleeping!" Alexa screams a second later.

"Huh? How do you know that?"

"Check his instagram," is all she says before frantically typing a message to you about souvenirs.

Lia looks over at Dani's phone as she pulls up Namjoon's page. The rest of the layout is bare given his up until recent hiatus and the fact that he never posted any type of selfie. The video uploaded a mere 20 seconds ago undoes all the previous minimalism of the entire account.

The post isn't even of Namjoon. It's a black and white 5 second video of the top half of your naked back and shoulders, the rest of your body covered by the sheets. One of your arms is raised to cover your head with a pillow. The only sign of Namjoon is the arm that reaches out from the bottom of the frame, making it clear that he took the video himself. His hand reaches out to trace a heart over the skin of your shoulder blade. The caption reads:

Thanks for keeping your promise

[layzeal]

mdzs for the fandom ask!

hehehehehohohoho ty friend!!! LET'S GO

Send me a fandom and I’ll tell you my:

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

there's no question, if you've followed for even a little bit you know i'm a WWX lover, that man and his crazy scientist hubris and his big, beautiful, annoying heart lives rent free in my brain. his husband LWJ comes close second, but WWX is just unmatched

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

SIZHUI!! i mean come ON, both baby and teenager forms are the sweetest thing, but i especially love how he's not a 100% pute sweet little guy. he WILL start throwing punches in in a cave and he WILL say that the annoying guy they've been helping save from a walking corpse deserved more than a punch to the face from being so awful to his old friend

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

A-Qing!!! THE bravest character in modao, especially considering her backstory and circumstances. She's funny and cute and feral and one of the best people in the story but in a way that still feels like a real person. my god i need to re-read Yi City, but A-Qing really deserves soooo much more love than she gets

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

MO!!!! XUANYU!!!! MY GOD I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT MO XUANYU I'M OBSESSED WITH HIM!!!!! i love how he haunts the narative from beginning to end and we never even meet him, i love how his anger burned so sooo bright that it unintentionally turned a tragedy into a queer love story. i LOVE that the flesh and bones of a supposedly queer man was the vehicle for it, considering how our own happy endings now are the result of the blood and tragedy of so many gay people that came before us. i LOVE the bits and pieces we learn about him and how almost none of it is certain or confirmed. seriously, i could talk about MXY until i pass out

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

in a story with many, MANY problematic characters, there is only One that truly fits the poor little meow meow label, and that is jin guangyao. everytime he cries about having had no choice in doing what he did, everytime he pleads with those big doe eyes... both him and NHS learned to weaponize the meowmeowfication, but while NHS still comes off as more pathetic, JGY found the perfect balance that just makes it impossible to look away. i adore him

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

ahhh jiang cheng, a character that i adore dearly but in that specific way in which i love watching him have his pathetic male hysteria moments. you know that part in guanyin temple when he walked in through rain all badass, but then during the fight he (unnecessarily) tries to save wangxian by jumping in front of jgy's sword and ends up sitting down on the floor looking like an angry, sad, wet dog? that scene summarizes perfectly what i love about his character. i wanna put him in a pretty glass jar and shake it, i wanna poke him with a stick and see how much trauma oozes out, i wanna lie him on a pan and flatten him like a pancake. he was immaculately written but i cannot relate to any of my mutuals cause they either love or hate him unironically, so i'm sitting by myself in my little corner tormenting him like a bored cat playing with a bug

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

if jin guangshan had dropped dead before the war.... it wouldn't have fixed Everything BUT IT WOULD HAVE FIXED SO MUUUCH. he's just an evil creep with no depth to him, nothing really to discuss, he just sucks, to superhell you goooooo

[finalgirlbrainrot]

I have two unpopular opinions 1) if roles were reversed and Dean was the one drinking blood, Dean stans would have excused the shit out of it and even liked it. 2) if none of Dean's trauma was addressed and ignored (like most of Sam's trauma is) Dean stans would fucking riot.

intensely aggressively strongly agree | strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

(sorry in advance, I ranted A Lot)

2) I'm gonna start with this one. YESYESYES I mean dean stans are already constantly unironically whining that dean's traumas never get acknowledged (EVEN THO IT'S LITERALLY NOT TRUE, HIS TRAUMAS ALREADY GET ACKNOWLEDGED MORE THAN ENOUGH. EVERY TIME HE STUBS HIS TOE. EVERYONE IS CODDLING HIM AND ASKING HIM HOW HE'S DOING. HALF THE SHOW IS LITERALLY DEAN MANPAINING ABOUT HIS TRAUMAS - but apparently that's not enough for them, so I can't imagine the uproar if it was actually true). meanwhile sam's traumas either get ignored or they get treated like a fucking joke? well I guess it's just another tuesday

I've also seen a lot of dean stans moaning about sam "forcing dean to talk about his traumas", because apparently sam actually acknowledging dean's traumas and encouraging him to open up about them and being always supportive af because he actually cares is unacceptable (and I'm willing to bet that if he didn't acknowledge them, they'd still complain because sam literally can't win no matter what he does)

but dean ignoring and never acknowledging sam's traumas (not even when he's directly responsible for said trauma) or making them all about himself (mystery spot, hallucifer, soullessness, gadreel possession) or vilifying and victim blaming him (being force-fed demon blood, soullessness, gadreel possession) or using said traumas to justify his actions (hallucifer) or making cruel, disgusting and unnecessary jokes about them ("you had a girl inside you for a whole week" [meg possession] "you know how wrong that sounds, right?" "you've like an episode of teen mom" [gadreel possession - let's talk about how these two in particular are a thousand times more disgusting than the rest since he's actually joking about a violation he's directly responsible for] "smores foot" [bmol torture] "crybaby pie" [cole torture] "you saw the [devil's] john [or butt]?" [the cage] dick of death jokes right, left and center) is perfectly acceptable behaviour

1) again YESYESYESYES. I mean, this isn't even a hypothesis, we already have an extremely similar storyline for dean - the moc - and everyone made excuses for him and glorified him, even tho he was worse than demon blood sam in every possible way

actually I wrote a rant on reddit a couple of days ago about the awful double standards between demon blood sam and moc/demon dean. I'm gonna paste it here because I'm Bitter Af

comparing demon blood sam and moc/demon demon is ironically and hysterically bitter because, logically, no matter how you spin it, s4 sam is much more understandable and easy to sympathize with - both in intentions and actions - and should have the moral high ground, while s9-10 dean was flat out awful and damaging. yet both the show and the fandom crucify sam and treat dean as some poor victim or a great martyred hero who made some great noble sacrifice and I just... don't get it. so let's break it down:

> reason for drinking blood / getting the moc

- sam: exorcising demons without harming the host, thus saving people (which apparently isn't that relevant to dean) and killing lilith, first because she sent his brother to hell and then to stop the apocalypse and because she was an actual threat

- dean: because he couldn't face the consequences of his actions after the gadreel mess and decided he wanted to kill abaddon, who, at that point, wasn't even their problem (she only became a real problem in 9x17, when they learned about the soul harvesting, so unless dean has some sort of prophetic knowledge, he had no reason to take the moc in 9x11) and was a real threat to no-one but crowley

> trusting / working with a demon

- sam: I've already said this before, but ruby was a master manipulator and went to extraordinary lengths to gain sam's trust and even managed to fool every single demon (aside from lilith obviously). as far as both brothers knew, she's done nothing but help them, saved their lives multiple times and helped them save others, fixed the colt for them, was there for sam after dean died, is basically hunted by other demons for helping them, has risked her life for them several times and even got tortured for them and was helping sam to go after the demon who was trying to start the apocalypse. sam had absolutely no valid reason not to trust her. I'd really like someone to look me in the eyes and tell me that, if anyone did everything I mentioned above, you wouldn't trust them

- dean: trusted a demon who they knew is extremely untrustworthy and self-serving and only does what's in his best interest and has screwed them over one way or another every time they worked together and has hurt people they're close to

> level of manipulation involved

- sam: as I already said, ruby was a master manipulator and spent two years carefully manipulating sam to get him to do what she wanted. not the mention everything azazel did to get him there, lilith pushing his buttons at every turn to get him to kill her and the manipulation from heaven as well, who were lying to the boys at every turn

- dean: while crowley was manipulating him, the level of manipulation isn't remotely comparable to the one sam went through is s4. crowley saying “let’s kill abaddon” and pretending to be afraid of cain is not comparable to a plan that’s been set on motion since the beginning of time and crowley wasn't the only one involved in dean getting the mark. cain was involved as well and he wasn't manipulating him (unlike sam, who was being manipulated by everyone involved). on the contrary, he was completely honest with dean and even offered to tell him more about the mark and DEAN REFUSED (like can you imagine how many problems would've been avoided if dean sat on his ass for one minute and listened to cain's warning???)

> actions

- sam: in s4 sam was trying to use something that was forced on him when he was six months old, and that he hated about himself, to do good because he felt like he had to and was literally SAVING PEOPLE and trying to stop the apocalypse, I literally still don't get why he's vilified for it????? in s4 sam killed a total of one (1) person: the possessed nurse and while that was obviously bad, 1) he was clearly upset about it and 2) I still haven't seen one (1) valid reason for why she's any different from the demons dean drained and killed in swan song or from any of the other possession victims they killed with the demon knife or the angel blade

- dean: meanwhile dean was going around murdering people left and right (also another example of fandom double standards: everyone defends moc!dean and demon!dean because "he only killed bad people" - which isn't even true, but let's say he was - and yet, I seem to remember a certain kitsune named amy pond, who was ALSO killing bad people (and not for the lolz of it, but to save her son) and dean killed her and the fandom defended him back then as well. is killing bad people okay only if dean does it?), tried to kill sam, beat cas bloody

> keeping secrets

- sam: keeping his powers and the demon blood a secret was his god given right, since it affected no-one but sam himself and the demons he was exorcising. not to mention, he had pretty good reasons for not telling dean, considering his bigotry, black and white views and judgmental attitude. and yet, he was, and still is, vilified by both the show and the fandom for keeping secrets and dean even punched him for not telling him about his abilities (something in particular about this point that absolutely drives me up the wall: in 4x04 sam accidentally revealed that he knew about what azazel did to him and dean got mad at him for not telling him about it, even tho dean himself found out about it and didn't tell sam and no-one - not the show, not the fandom and not even sam and dean themselves - notices the hypocrisy. they're literally saying that it's okay for DEAN to keeps something about SAM a secret from SAM, but not okay for SAM to keep something about HIMSELF a secret from DEAN. if you don't think that's super fucked up, then I don't know what to tell you)

- dean: no-one says anything about dean keeping the effects of the mark a secret, even tho, unlike s4 sam, lying about the mark directly affected other people and put everyone around him in danger, including sam

> general treatment

- sam: everyone treated sam like a monster in s4, dean straight up called him a monster, told him he'd hunt him if he didn't know him, forced him into a torture-detox that almost killed him, tried to control him and refused to see his point. at the end of s4 sam apologized to dean. in s5 dean repeatedly told him that he doesn't trust him. sam was blamed for everything that happened in s4 and his mistake kept getting brought up even seasons later

- dean: everyone and their mom was coddling him and helping to get rid of the mark. everyone considered the mark to be the problem, not dean himself. sam was unconditionally supportive. dean never once apologized to sam for any of the awful things he said/did to him while he had the mark. sam never once blamed dean for anything that happened in s9-10 and instead placed the blame on crowley and none of the things dean did ever got brought up again

> at the end of each arc

- sam: paid for his mistake by sacrificing himself and jumped into the cage and saved the world and got tortured by the devil himself for centuries

- dean: paid for his mistake by having his mother brought back to life

send me unpopular opinions