#i understand this is not the intended purpose for this meme but The Siblings .....

[bowenoke]

pov you are my brother and i's youth pastor circa 2014 when he called us The Sisters and then unprompted corrected himself to The Brothers and then said "i don't know. you could be anything!" in a room full of baptist teenagers

shout out to justin. what the fuck, man

[marzipanandminutiae]

The sharpes for the ship game

who is more likely to hurt the other?

Hoo boy. This one has the potential for a world of emotional hurt, and all entirely unintended. Through what's left unsaid or undone, these two can hurt each other in a myriad ways and they will NEVER talk any of it out with each other. Oh, the Gothick tragedy of it all.

But we've seen that one of them can be pushed to physically hurt the other, and said "other" won't even do so in self-defense, so. Let's go with Lucille, even though she felt Very Bad about it afterwards.

(Until she shifted the blame onto Edith.)

who is emotionally stronger?

I mean...they're neither of them bastions of emotional strength.

I think Lucille is able to endure more psychological abuse without breaking, but Thomas is more emotionally resilient.

He could live without her, though he'd be heartbroken. As for her- well, I don't think she intended to survive her encounter with Edith. Even if she'd won.

who is physically stronger?

Lucille. He's taller, but she has that whole Terminator, powering-through-intense-pain thing.

who is more likely to break a bone? 

Lucille is more likely to be in situations that could result in broken bones, so I suppose it's her. Although if Thomas keeps up that recklessness around his machine that got him burned, who knows?

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

I don't think they'd ever upset each other on purpose. Lucille's better at manipulation, though she'd resist seeing it that way.

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? 

Thomas. Sometimes because he genuinely thinks he's wrong; sometimes because he just wants to avoid Unpleasantness.

who treats whose wounds more often? 

Historically, Lucille has gotten wounded more, so I'll go with Thomas.

who is in constant need of comfort? 

You know how sometimes cats act completely aloof and nonchalant while twining around your legs, blocking your computer screen, and in all ways generally demanding Affection while pretending they aren't?

Lucille.

who gets more jealous? 

I mean, we have a canon answer to this one. Although we never got the chance to see jealous Thomas, he sort of seems to want Lucille and Edith to at least be friends.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

I can't see that ever happening.

who will propose? 

Nobody. Why would they need to have a wedding? "My brother/sister" already means to them exactly what "my husband/wife" means to most people, and more.

who has the most difficult parents?

The "same hat" meme, but it's "same parents."

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

They don't walk hand-in-hand in public. It would attract attention. But the occasionaly affectionate hand-clasp is acceptable to Victwardian sensibilities re: sibling relationships, and Thomas always initiates that. Lucille doesn't like PDA, possibly because she's paranoid about anyone guessing their secret.

who comes up for the other all the time? 

I don't understand the question, I'm afraid.

who hogs the blankets? 

Lucille, and it's a good thing, too. If it were Thomas, she'd just lie there and shiver rather than take them back.

who gets more sad? 

Lucille.

who is better at cheering the other up? 

Definitely Thomas. He actually has a sense of humor, for one thing.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

If we can sub that for "tsks with mock severity at them," Lucille.

who is more streetwise?

Honestly, neither really are. Thomas has actually been around the world and society more, but he's still fairly naive. Lucille just Doesn't Do People and as such has far less direct experience.

who is more wise?

Thomas. Simply by virtue of the fact that he CAN, eventually, sort of be made to see that their living situation- murders, etc. -is miserable and unsustainable.

who’s the shyest? 

Lucille. It's not sweet, blushing, giggly shyness in the slightest, but she Doesn't Do People, as mentioned above.

who boasts about the other more? 

Thomas. He has more people to boast to, since he. You know. Sees people. And he thinks Lucille hung the moon.

who sits on who’s lap?

Lucille sits on Thomas' lap on rare occasions, but not often. Mostly because she's a few inches shorter.

[goljath-a]

“ i don’t want you to get hurt either. ” 😳

HARM HAS no consequence for a creature as war-torn as he, formed of callouses and leather-thick hide, descriptive only of the most unassailable Devil / INHUMAN INCARNATE. He is mountainous, a jagged summit / standing tall ‘gainst the wild forces that would seek to topple him, the armies that would seek to conquer him. Beset by his own monstrous proportions, A BEHEMOTH: mongering, hungering / his existence alone an atrocity in the flesh, a corrupted Creation - because, surely, He and Paradise are not of the same world, they do not share the same skin / THAT WHICH BORE ONE COULD NOT RECONCILE THE OTHER. There could be no other explanation, none more succinct than that his very being is, itself, a conflict. Petty justification for the space that he occupies, the air that he displaces, but he has never once argued to the contrary - perhaps, all-too-assured of his own capacity for self-destruction ( AN EYE FOR AN EYE, TOOTH FOR TOOTH / DEATH REPAID IN DEATH REPAID IN KIND ).

Hence why such words give him brief pause, soft-spoken as they came from the lips of his strange kin’s crouched form, beyond that he didn’t know it could speak to begin with - and let alone with such precision, such ... concern ? Jäger can only glance down in the moment, half-halted / leaning back on his haunches with great strain to the muscles still bearing his immense weight upright. He’d been poised to spring forwards, the angle of his body strung taut like an arrow nocked ‘gainst a yew bow, every sinew coiled to strike without regard for itself. And what good does it do to hesitate ? HE WAS MADE TO PIERCE SKYWARD / to gut the bloated corpses of those cumulative stratus which stubbornly refuse to unfurl their own insides. THE EARTH CRAVES BLOODFALL: he is assured of this, his missive’s purity / the freedom of flight, a deadly arc cleaving through the humid air - PURPOSEFUL, USEFUL. What reason is there for concern ? Surely, the Cart understands it’s own expendability, how forfeit the flesh is in face of it’s many uses ? They are the same / they are not bound by mortal rules. It matters not the recklessness of their actions, so long as their aim is true. HE NEVER INHERITED PAIN THE SAME WAY HE DID ANGER.

At a loss, he lays a hand ‘pon his sibling’s head, mussing the fringe there, before rising once more to assess the oncoming slaughter. Really, this is nothing new / the stakes are no higher than they ever were before - and, as always, HE INTENDS TO EMERGE THE ONLY VICTOR. He was named Hunter / named Carnage; peril has no home in his crowded ribcage / there is no room left for fear to fissure the stone he was sculpted by / it runs like a clotted river down the slope of his spine, recently flooded with the cloud’s sweet-sick ichor. All the same, if there is a possibility ...

... DON’T WORRY, he hums, albeit awkwardly. I WILL ... BE CAREFUL.

ask meme ( @devilwrath )

[lucifermagne]

♔ Rules.

Banner Credit: [x]

Note: Before you follow this blog (or before you decide to stay), you must be comfortable with the following mentions (images will be tagged should any of this come up, but it is HIGHLY doubtful): cannibalism, drugs, alcohol, death, religion, and nsfw content.

Note: Read my rules & triggers thoroughly ( I will not tolerate hearing that you skimmed them later).

SHIPPING.

✘ Don’t pester me for shipping if we haven’t interacted long enough to even develop a bond past strangers. Satan will only sleep with your muse, but he will not engage in a romantic relationship since he is married.

INTERACTING.

✘ IC =/= OOC and I hold the right to softblock you should you become someone who proves an issue on this subject. As it serves to protect my mental health and my time, understand that I hold this as a right and you do, too, but don’t start drama over it or catch me hearing you are talking bad about me behind my back. I will confront you and it will be a discussion that you will not find pleasing.

✘ I absolutely will NOT interact with fanchildren of ANY given canon set of muses and I ask that all blogs tag the ship of “Chalastor” (Charlie x Alastor), because it upsets me greatly to see it on my dash. I will, however, interact with other children muses in Hell who are their own entity.

✘ Hazbin’s Hell is based on real hell ; however, there are CHANGES in it that are different than what is depicted. As canon in the show is revealed, this will be slowly altered, but for now hell is split into nine circles as per Dante’s Inferno and every circle has its own establishment ; Satan, being the ruler of hell, has morals and it would be appreciated if you did not assume what he’s done.

✘ I will absolutely NOT interact with genderbends/cis!swaps. These blogs will be immediately blocked if they attempt to follow me.

✘ DO NOT HARM WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST! You followed SATAN, you followed a powerful entity, this would be equal to harming something like Zeus or Hades of Greek Mythology ; this is a villain, not a playtime teddy bear, and if you anger him, he will attack your muse (now: my actions in threads will always, ALWAYS, leave room for you to have your muse a chance to escape, dodge, receive MINOR injuries, or to get hurt completely – the choice is yours); however, this does NOT mean yours can suddenly overpower mine in an instant and suddenly have the ability to do what you please! This has become an issue recently where (outside of small, fun sessions of just silliness) muses have been able to seriously hurt or incapacitate my muse without any sort of conversation with me, but if mine does anything minor (ie a small spit at your muse’s face), they are free to do as they please, which is absolutely unacceptable. If you are planning to harm him, then I need conversations to happen or I will rip the interaction to shreds and retcon it from our relationship between muses.

Note: This does not include silly things like whacking him on the head or  poking his nose ; this is meant as if your muse intends ACTUAL serious harm on him – outside of an ask meme about the topic.

Note: If this becomes a repeated offense, then I might cease our interactions and/or softblock.

ON CHILDREN/GRANDCHILDREN PLOTS.

✘ Charlie is Satan’s ONLY child (unless there’s a twin au going on between blogs that I am made aware of) ; this is due to Lilith’s history with children and his own preference to have his only daughter who lived with him. She will not have any siblings here, nor will I interact with OCs who attempt to integrate into the Magne family.

✘ I also am not COMFORTABLE with doing any plots that revolve around grandchildren ; if you want to have your Charlie muse have children or randomly adopt kids, it’s your muse and you’re free to do so, but I just don’t feel comfortable doing those kinds of plots – especially if they’re just thrown on to me without discussion first.

BLOG STATUS.

✘ My blog is for the privacy of myself, and if I so choose to not follow you back, then that is mydecision. With that, it’s honestly self-explanatory that this is a highly selective blog; if you follow my blog, I will look at yours and decide if I will follow back.

✘ This blog is mutuals only and I expect you to check before you attempt to speak with me, like my starter calls, or attempt to join in activities I may have planned on the dash; I will do the same as a sign of mutual respect.

✘ Although I push this for roleplaying, sending random asks on anonymous is always welcome when it comes to my muse ; if we are not mutuals, however, this means that the threads will NOT continue after being answered.

SOFTBLOCKING/UNFOLLOWING.

✘ I reserve the right to softblock your blog should you become someone I do not appreciate on my dash any longer. ✘ This includes: constant posts of negatives that are untagged/more frequent than roleplays, drama, actions that are just rude, untagged triggers, or the refusal to tag triggers, racism (you know what that is), ableism (using the r-slur, not tagging your muse’s mentions of it, etc.), large amounts of NSFW images (even if it’s just one day; it’s just really unpleasant and you can do a sin blog for that content to avoid it on your minors’ dashboards), homo/transphobia, spam liking my posts, I find out you name dropped me in a server just to spread a negative opinion of yours about me, etc.

✘ This hasn’t happened yet, but I’ll immediately block you if you refuse to use my pronouns (they/them); I understand mistakes will happen, but you’re no friend of mine if you don’t respect my pronouns…

✘ This list may become longer should I find more reasons.

TRIGGERS.

✘ Tag NSFW and I won’t smut with minors—or anyone—so don’t ask and don’t attempt to try it, because I will immediately block you.

✘✘✘✘For my triggers: family abuse/child abuse, sexual assault/rape (even the word is hard on my psyche), and “Chalastor” (Charlie x Alastor).

if you have a trigger that is not listed as an automatic tag, please message me as well (you may copy and paste it into my ask box or IM it to me at any time! it’s important to know and I can add to my NECESSARY to tag page! I’m very forgetful and I don’t ever want to have anyone suffering for that. I

if I do forget to tag, you can: softblock, outright block, unfollow (though the others are better so you never have to see my url and be reminded), tell me, tell a friend to tell me, tell all of your friends to tell me, anon message me, post a reminder on your blog about your triggers (which I WILL CHECK ON IMMEDIATELY), do whatever it takes for you to feel secure because YOUR BLOG IS YOURS.

Most importantly: take care of yourself first! I will never be angry with you if anything like this should happen, so don’t feel anxiety if you must softblock/block me for triggering you or to feel secure again ; I should have paid attention to your rules!

RESPECT.

✘ Respect me and I will show you respect.

✘ Respect the fact this blog is canon divergent!

✘ Respect other people’s triggers and tag them as best you can! It only takes a few seconds! I understand blood and murder not being tagged (unless specifically asked, but remember that self-harm, racism, ableism, suicide, and other triggers that are heavier are always something you should tag in warning)!

PASSWORD SEND-OFF.

✘ Reading my rules is mandatory. If you don’t read them, then it will be plainly clear to me and I will immediately be forced to block you. A great way to tell if we’re not mutuals on this blog is if I don’t reply to your password sending. As I do not intend to interact with those who are not mutuals, this means: please do not send anymore ic asks/interaction asks; however, you may send anon messages and asks in general but not for ic interaction purposes.

✘ There is no password for this blog, but thank you for reading my rules! You are more than welcome to tell me you have read them in IM or ask, but this is highly unnecessary! I understand if you have anxiety issues and this causes you discomfort!

[embersrevived]

Questions Meme 

Tagged By: @sunflowercecil​

1. What is your name? “Nadir Darvish.” 

2. Do you know why you’re named that?” “Well ... I believe my parents specifically wanted their first and only child to have a name that either honored an important aspect of Parzian culture and tradition or was an homage to a renowned monarch in Parzian history, and eventually they decided on the latter. Nadir (Nader) Shah, if I recall correctly, was a king from a former dynasty who was renowned for his ingenuity and acumen, both as a statesman and military general. His military campaigns and exploits during his reign were so great that he has actually been dubbed ‘the second Alexander’ by some historians. I think my parents had been betting on having a male child at first, but then just decided to roll with it after I was born, haha.”

“Funny thing is, a lot of people just automatically assume that my name is meant to be some sort of ‘edgy’ moniker, like the antithesis of the word ‘zenith’ or something when that actually isn’t the case. Though that certainly doesn’t mean I appreciate the endearing little opposite-nickname that I was recently given, Zen-Zen, any less...~”  She furtively winks at @plague-doctor-jules

3. Are you single or taken? “Single. as a Pringle” 

4. Have any abilities or powers?

“Besides bringing all around me to their knees groaning with my tacky humor? Well ... incantation-wise, I feel I am somewhat proficient in spells that have to do with small-scale, temporary immobilization, like temporary stunning. Though I really refrain from utilizing such spells unless I truly feel the need to do so. The stunning spells really only are effective on small creatures, e.g. rats, roaches, etc. that I feel need to be halted in their tracks before being able to deal with them accordingly. Also some might argue that my horrendous jokes and puns constitute some sort of low-key ‘evil’ ability in themselves, haha.”

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“Stop being an ‘idealized, seemingly perfect character? ... Hahahaha! How droll of you, when everyone knows that I’m practically the most awkward and gauche potato turtle in this here town. That’s a facetious jab at how I’m actually the complete and utter opposite of that, right? Right, it must be.” 

6. What’s your eye colour? “Very dark brown.” 

7. How about your hair colour?

“Very dark brunette, almost appearing even black from a distance.”

8. Have any family members?

“Yes, my mother and father, Setareh and Bardiya,  along with my maternal grandmother and grandfather, Roshanak and Cyrus. No siblings, though. I think after I was born, my parents decided that one was more than enough, hahaha ... I’ve been told that I was quite the troublesome little stinker as a tot.” 

9. Oh! How about pets?

“Well, I’m not sure if I should go about referring to my familiar as a pet, but my  albeit adorable call duck, Ordak is the only one I have currently. Back when I lived with my parents and not the magic shop, I did used to own a boisterous blue budgie, though ... someone forgot to close the door to his cage, and the little poopsie just chirped his wee heart out before suddenly taking off, never to be seen or heard from again.” 

10. That’s cool, I guess, now tell me something you don’t like.

“Well ... I must admit I don’t really appreciate people who are overly snippy or snarky just for the sake of it when it isn’t really necessary, or because they find it ‘quirky’, ‘trendy’, or ‘edgy’ to do so. Basically people who show little consideration for others’ feelings in general, especially if they do so because they believe their elevated social status or sense of ego gives them a pass to do so. And people who just find it absolutely acceptable to do away completely with common courtesy when dealing or speaking with you just because they decide they don’t like, click with, or understand you as a person, or they personally find some attributes of yours irksome.”

“I mean, I feel you must always at least try to put a conscious effort into politely and tactfully dealing with even those you don’t jive well with or like much, I think. Especially because there will always be people you find yourself not being overly fond of, or who aren’t overly fond of you, there is just too much effort and negative energy to be put into going out of one’s way to not be civil towards others, at least initially.” 

“Also overly arrogant and condescending individuals, lord knows I’ve dealt with more than a fair share of those in my time, both in and out of  the realm of academia. Overly pretentious and critical individuals in general also. Though ... perhaps I have been too verbose and ranty in giving this answer, I do apologize. I ... I do tend to talk a lot, haha. In summation: just overly inconsiderate individuals in general.” 

11. Do you have any hobbies/activities that you like to do?

“Writing poetry at times, sketching, drawing, reading, occasionally engaging in mischievous antics, etc. ...” 

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

“Oh, I’m sure ... I mean, I have certainly gotten into disagreements and all that with people in the past, and in doing so the distressed, angry tone that I may have utilized in the heat of it all may have hurt some feelings in the past. And I’d almost always feel some sort of guilt afterwards, even if things wound up being patched up and resolved betwixt myself and the individual with whom I’d had the spat. Though it is never my intention to go out of my way to make anyone feel badly about themselves or hurt anyone’s feelings.”

“But if you meant physically, no I don’t think - ... Wait. Wait. That one time, when the Ginger Floof  Julian barged into the shop and scared the bejeezus out of me with his overly dramatic, villainous entrance, of course how could I so easily forget ...” However, she does avert her gaze to the ground in shame as she recalls the events of that fateful night. “Well ... I did hurt Julian that ... one time when I threw that glass bottle during the invasion that one night, but I ... I didn’t know who he was at the time, and I certainly had zero idea as to what his intentions were ... though that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel the occasional pang of guilt, especially when I specifically recall that graphic image of the blood pooling and dripping down his cheek as a result of the injury inflicted around his eye.”

A sad, remorseful look engulfs the apprentice’s face before she snaps out of the flashback. “Ah ... I do apologize, ehr ... next question, please.” 

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

“No. Though I’ve perhaps come close to doing so with my barrage of gods-awful puns” 

14. What kind of animal are you?

“I have been told by a few in the past that because of my more timid nature, I can be akin to a small rodent, like a mouse or a hamster, at times. Though my familiar is currently a wee baby call duckling who, though rather sweet and cute, can be quite the boisterous little stinker at times, which I’ve been told is apparently another side of me that is ‘unlocked’ once I get to know people and am coaxed out of my shell. So I guess it’s somewhat fitting in that sense, haha.” 

15. Name your worst habits?

“I tend to become distracted fairly easily, I reluctantly admit. Also, I ... I tend to allow my insecurities and anxieties take control and cause me to make decisions or act in ways that ultimately prove to be counterproductive. Also over analyzing things, people, and situations almost to the point of obsession, to the point where I find myself often skeptical and cynical of other’s motives and sincerity, allowing my insecurities and fears to hinder and inhibit me mentally and socially.” 

16. Do you look up to anyone?

“I look up to any individual who remains steadfast and dedicated to their cause or line of work, whether it be academic, scientific, humanitarian, etc. in nature, and shows a genuine interest in acquiring knowledge in their selected field of interest and applying that knowledge for the betterment of others. I admire anyone who has defined themselves and devoted their purpose to the likes of altruism, benevolence, and kindness. A certain auburn-haired, fugitive physician would be the quintessential example of this, along with his lovely and equally sweet sister.” 

“I also admire those who yet manage to be levelheaded and resolute in the face of adverse situations, those who seem to know how to improvise, adapt, and persist in the face of any given hardship, or who devote themselves to supporting and assisting others finding themselves in such situations. My father comes to mind.”

17. Are you straight, gay, or bisexual?

“I believe I’m straight ... Though these sorts of things have been said to not be entirely black and white, with it being a spectrum and all, so who can really say for sure?” 

18. Do you go to school?

“Been there, done that, haha.” 

19. Ever wanted to marry and have kids one day?

“I’ve never even really ... been in a relationship before, so I must admit that the thought of marriage has been a more distant one, and children even more so. One step at a time I guess? Ahahahaha ...” Sweat drop. 

“Though me, in any sort of relationship, with my awkward and anxious tendencies? Is that even possible” 

20. Do you have any fans?

“Why yes, I do as a matter of fact.~” And with that, she proceeds to whip out an intricately designed, vibrantly hued hand fan that Asra had brought her back from one of his previous travels. And yes, she knows very well that is not quite what the question meant. Something of a cheeky grin forms on her visage shortly after giving this response. 

21. What are you most afraid of?

“...Failure. My internalized insecurities and anxieties mentally obstructing my path and goals and clouding my vision and perception of the future. Not being good enough, ineptitude, then possibly dying after having ultimately accomplished little more than becoming carrion for the microbes and worms to feast upon. ... Wow, that definitely came out darker than I had initially intended, ehr ... sorry about that.” 

22. What do you usually wear?

“Ah, just the usual casual dresses, shirts, and pants, truthfully nothing fancy in the least.” 

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

“Ohh ... I’m sure there are a myriad of dishes that could be used to answer this, but if I had to settle on one? Pomegranate chicken, especially like my mother makes it, especially when coupled with this fizzy carbonated yogurt beverage that we have back home in Parzia ... you’d have to actually see and try it if you don’t know what I’m referring to, haha; it sounds a bit weird to those who didn’t grow up with it.” 

24. Am I annoying to you?

“Ah, no, not at all ... am I annoying to you? I do hope ... that I haven’t been overly loquacious or rambling in giving my answers? If so, my apologies.” 

25. Well, it’s still not over!

“Aha, great. Wait ... that wasn’t meant sardonically, I promise, a-apologies if it came out sounding like that. Please continue.” 

26. What social class are you?

“I’d say more of the middle class, perhaps more on the lower end. Though we know that in the eyes of a certain gilded and flamboyant noble, that we are all seen equally as commoners and peasants, haha.” 

27. How many friends do you have?

“Uh ... well, I definitely consider Mas- ... I mean Asra to be a kind companion and friend ... and then there is Julian, whose company I’ve come to be rather at ease with to the point of engaging in regular banter and teasing. Portia is positively delightful and lovely as well. The Devorak duo is a true blessing, seriously. Such sweet, benevolent siblings. Selasi is rather amiable too, and I’ve had many a pleasant conversation with him every time I venture out into the market. Nadia has always been kind and polite to me, though I am not too sure if she’d regard me as a ‘friend’ just yet ... And I don’t think Muriel likes me very much, unfortunately.” 

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Aha, I’m not picky at all when it comes to saccharine treats, I pretty much think they’re all savory, cakes, pies, candies, etc. Though that doesn’t mean I indulge myself in them of course, haha. Certainly could do without anymore junk in the trunk” 

29. Favourite drink?

“Something known as the Parzian fizzy yogurt drink, basically exactly what the name says, plain yogurt mixed with carbonated water, with a pinch of salt and some mint to top it off.” 

30. What’s your favourite place?

“I don’t have one favorite place, to be honest ... Basically any place that is picturesque, serene, and allows me to pacify my nerves and be alone with my thoughts and away from the commotion of the general public, I guess. And I also must admit that the forbidden gardens in the abandoned courtyard that I visited with Julian that one time were quite lovely, I certainly wouldn’t mind revisiting that place.” 

31. Are you interested in anyone?

“Er ... W-well, I’m interested in a lot of people! Each and every individual has their own intriguing persona, a-after all ... Especially those towering, swaggering, cockily grinning types who tease yet become tomato-blushing, flustered messes the instant you give them even the smallest sample of their own medicine.” 

32. That was a stupid question…

“Ah, no, not really actually...” 

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

“The lake, at least I’m less likely to be encountering any aquatic creatures bearing sharp teeth in a freshwater body as opposed to the saline, haha. Also already having to experience one type of “shark week” is more than enough.” 

34. What’s your type?

“Er ... Well, I guess just someone who’s kind, sincere, considerate, with a good sense of humor. Because honestly, even if someone is generally perceived as being ‘classically attractive’ or whatnot, it really matters little if their personality is unpleasant or lacking in general. To be honest, I really don’t have a specific ‘type’ so to speak...” 

35. Any fetishes?

Something of a dumbfounded expression appears on the apprentice’s face, though she is quick to vehemently shake her head. “What? Uhhh .... no? Not that I ... know of? No. Ahem, next question, if you please.” A crimson hue proceeds to engulf her cheeks. 

36. Camping or outdoors?

“Uhh ... wait, camping takes place outdoors? ... Unless you mean camping vs. just walking about and enjoying the outdoors in general, in which case I must say the latter. Just ... the thought of all sorts and species of creepy crawlies clambering over me while I’m trying to sleep in a tent would make camping the less preferable option.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging: @plague-doctor-jules​ @conceitedxglory​ @nevivorona​ @asrage​ @humortremors​ @caesiis​ @unlicensedmartyr​ @bluemoontm​ @mnemosys​ @bitters-enthusiast @strsha

Questions: 

1. What is your name?

2. Do you know why you’re named that?”

3. Are you single or taken?

4. Have any abilities or powers?

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

6. What’s your eye colour?

7. How about your hair colour?

8. Have any family members?

9. Oh! How about pets?

10. That’s cool, I guess, now tell me something you don’t like.

11. Do you have any hobbies/activities that you like to do?

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

14. What kind of animal are you?

15. Name your worst habits?

16. Do you look up to anyone?

17. Are you straight, gay, or bisexual?

18. Do you go to school?

19. Ever wanted to marry and have kids one day?

20. Do you have any fans?

21. What are you most afraid of?

22. What do you usually wear?

23. What’s one food that tempts you?

24. Am I annoying to you?

25. Well, it’s still not over!

26. What social class are you?

27. How many friends do you have?

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

29. Favourite drink?

30. What’s your favourite place?

31. Are you interested in anyone?

32. That was a stupid question…

33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

34. What’s your type?

35. Any fetishes?

36. Camping or outdoors?

[brooklynislandgirl]

RULES: Don’t reblog, repost.

TAGGED BY: @annalerrel {lovely, talented friend that she is with the hella cool memes} TAGGING: @multi-mused, @whosxafraid, @morgansmornings, @ronmanmob, @therealgamble, @tabbyrp, @corinnebaileyrp, @generation-disaster, @corruptcorporateexecutive, @cajuncur, @tattoosandmusclecars, @agentharrisonofshield, @lucxsnorth, @jerseysass, @sheeradrenaline and anyone else who wants to steal this :) :)

► NAME ➭ ❝ Elikapeka Ailine Riley, but seriously it’s cool to just call me Beth. ❞ ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭ ❝ I don’t know why people make such a big deal about it. ❞   {varies by verse} ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ ❝ ...sure. I mean I’m alive, healthy and blessed so got nothing to really complain about. ❞   ► ARE YOU ANGRY?  ➭ ❝ I don’t really get angry. ❞  Side-eyes her sibling. ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ ❝ No. ❞ Her parents divorced when Beth was ten, and her mother has found a new family that doesn’t include her. 

✨ NINE FACTS!

► ‘BIRTH’ PLACE ➭ ❝ Honolulu, Oahu.  ❞  Technically it had been Pearl City but most people don’t know make the distinction between Pearl Harbour and Honolulu, and when she says Hawai’i most people think of the Big Island even though they invariably picture Oahu or Maui. ► HAIR COLOR ➭ ❝ Uh...dark? ❞  Depending on sun exposure and her whims, Beth ranges from dark honey blonde to almost black. ► EYE COLOR ➭ ❝ Mostly green. ❞ There’s a ring of honey brown closest to her pupil, and in certain lights she can look brown-eyed, but they are too green to actually be hazel. ► BIRTHDAY ➭   ❝ 28 June, 1989.   ❞ ► MOOD ➭ ❝ Somewhere between lost and confused most of the time. But hopeful? Like..can’t get worse, right? ❞ ► GENDER ➭ ❝ Always been a girl. ❞  Though she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t wondered what life would been like if she’d been a boy. ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ ❝ Oh absolutely winter! Means either the best surf or snow. Either way...shaka, brah. ❞   ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ ❝ For what? I think the language here is a little ambiguous.❞  

✨ EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE!

► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭ ❝ …. ❞   ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ ❝ Nuh-uh. I mean if people say they feel that way, then they’re confusing physical attraction with love. Lust shows up at ya door at midnight, wantin’ to know if it can sleep with you. Love understands that it’s an uphill battle and helps you make it to the top, even if it’s already carryin’ it’s own weight. ❞  ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭  ❝ Didn’t end so much as he swam away ❞ And that’s all she’ll say about it. ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE���S HEART? ➭ ❝ No... ❞  And if she has, she absolutely has no idea that she did. ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ ❝ …I mean I’ve got a netflix account? ❞   ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ ❝ Oh yeah. I do that a lot. ❞   ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ ❝ Wouldn’t be a secret then, would it, if I knew? ❞  ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ ❝ … ❞ More often than not.

✨ SIX CHOICES!

► LOVE OR LUST ➭ ❝ In wha’ context? I think most people settle for lust when what they really want is a connection to someone else, to something greater than themselves. ❞   ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ ❝ Coffee, preferably Kona. If not that, then I want tea strong enough to eat through metal spoons. As God intended. ❞   ► CATS OR DOGS ➭ ❝ All animals are precious and have purpose, even if they aren’t ‘cute’. ❞   ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ ❝ Personally, have a few best friends, but I know a lot of people. ❞ ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ ❝ By romantic do you mean like making up weird laws and concuring the western-world? Cause I have to work in the morning.  ❞ ► DAY OR NIGHT  ➭ ❝ Dawn patrol. ❞ Beth is afraid of the dark.

✨ FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS!

► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ ❝ Naw, brah. Andy would have killed me. ❞ ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ ❝ Who told you?! ❞ ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ ❝ …  ❞ You’d have to pull her teeth out with pliers to get her to answer. ► WANTED TO DISAPPEAR ➭ ❝ ...like who hasn’t? Every human being regardless of their orientation, gender, race or creed has had to survive or will have to survive adolescence. ❞

✨  FIVE PREFERENCES!

► SMILE OR EYES ➭ ❝ Eyes Ya can see the most distant nebulae in them. ❞ ► FAT OR SKINNY ➭ ❝ Why are people so hung up on body image? Everyone is beautiful in their own way, and all you’re doing by glorifying one while vilifying the other is damaging someone else’s psyche. ❞ ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ ❝ For Serious?! I’m five foot even. Everyone over the age of three is taller than I am. ❞   ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ ❝ Gotta go with Intelligence, for five hundred, Alex. ❞ ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ ❝ I dunno ❞ 

✨ FAMILY!

► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ ❝ Define ‘family’. ❞  Beth has blood relatives and then she has her ohana, and most of the time, they’re two totally separate lists of people. ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ ❝ No more’n anyone else’s, I suppose. Luckier than most, not as lucky as a few. ❞   ► HAVE YOU EVER RUN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ ❝ Didn’t run so much as ‘went to college’. ❞  And she hasn’t stopped since. ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ ❝ Of what? I don’t understand? ❞

✨ FRIENDS!

► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ ❝If I hated someone, they wouldn’t be my friend. And hate...takes so much effort to fuel, why would you do that to yourself or someone else? ❞ ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ ❝ If I call someone my friend, then it’s like saying they’re ohana. So, yes?❞   ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ ❝ Jay Morgan. Since college. She’d help me hide the body and not say a word. ❞  ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ ❝ Uhm maybe Andy, my brother. ❞  {of course, verse depending that honour {?} also goes to Ron Kray}

[kendrixtermina]

Baby Reacts to: “Voltron Legendary Defender”

I’m not familiar with either of the show’s previous incarnations but from what I’ve heard they completely overhauled the characters anyways - supposedly Pidge was once an annoying tagalong kid (and a boy), Keith was a standard issue “hot-blooded mecha pilot”, Shiro was not there, or killed of in the first storyarc, and Allura was a completely different character with a wholly different design, more of a ‘princess classic’ with the looks & personality to macth, supposedly they redesigned her to make her more alien & then threw in the skintone as a hommage to her voice actress. In any case only the name is the same. 

I’ve seen some clips and it seems they had a much more outwardly fantasy-aesthetic going on with carriages & period costume, sort of more like Star Wars or Sailor Moon,  whereas the newest version seems roughly Star Craft esque in terms of their particular blend of Magitek. 

Otherwise it’s pretty straighforward: Evil Empire, Ancient Artifacts, Giant Robots, Space Fights, timefrozen hightech city left behind by the precursors etc. 

The evil empire has a renegate splinter faction but that too isn’t so exceptional (though welcome), the BoM reminded me somewhat of the Tok’Ra from Stargate in their reclusive, slow-to-act approach in that they have tons of futuristic tech but limited ressources & had to be won over first & there still being a lot of mutual distrust on both sides, at least at first.  

Rare in this day and age (and very refreshingly IMHO) the show unapologetically sticks to the basic genre & tropes without falling over its own feet trying to be clever  & meta - sure, they evened out the gender ratio a bit & made the structure of the battles less monotonous but we’re not beaten over the head with any of these things/fit them in naturally & the show never seems like it has something to prove & just lets its story be a straightforward giant robots & explosions kinda thing.

It helps that the artwork is great. 

The best summary of my general impression is that I’ll pobably tune in for season 3. My favorite character so far would be Keith closely followed by Pidge, and Shiro, but AFAIK everyone likes Shiro? I’m prolly b/c I’ve heard it’s terrible (The Umbridge effect is probably in full force...) also I’ve been told there’s a trailer out and I’d rather see season 3 unspoiled. 

Clearly there needs to be some payoff for Shiro grooming Keith as a potential sucessor but I’m hoping that after a few drama-filled episodes, they all go rescue Shiro from wherever he’s gotten to, Keith hands him back his helmet and they all go home together. I mean, he just got his own Bayard. It’s unclear what happened to him in any case, perhaps he was absorben Evangelion style. 

That said one of the show’s strenghts is the clear aversion of the “annoying comedic sidekick” even though it has many characters that has could theoritically fit that description - They try their best to give each of the characters something to do & various skills & likeable traits - Like you get why each of them is there and why they’re our heroes - they also took the time to make sure everyone got a few character establishing moment in the first episode (Shiro’s arrival, Pidge & Keith were already on their own quests by their own means, Hunk & Lance served as the PoV characters etc) and throughout the show they try to bring out everyone’s personalities through reaction shots etc. Like, ALL of them are awesome.

Also apparently this fandom has brutal shipping wars? Some ppl I was sitting next to kept cracking jokes about how [random yaoi pair] was obvliously into each other and after a while it got annoying through sheer persistence. 

I don’t think the show as a whole is going for that like if there was going to be a decent/central romantic subplot they’d have introduced it by now they seem to be content to simply be an action show & there’s not much content like that at all except for the occassional teasing for the sake of humor & Lance’s flirting (which is really more there to exposition his being a bit of a showoff) - the most that will come out of it is that when we see some epilogue telling us what became of everyone, Lance will be shown to have found a girlfriend after returning home to his mom & impressing his siblings with his heroic stories. 

To begin with they seem to be going for a different vibe with the main characters, with how all of them (including Allura) refer to each other as “family” or “brothers” all the time like I get the impression we’re supposed to interpret them more as simply comerades or quasi-siblings with Shiro as the big brother and Coran as the kooky uncle.  

Like I hate it when ppl dismiss already existing romantic subplots as “uneccesary”, “silly” or “pandering” but at the same time it’s not like every show needs to have one or like it immediately needs an explanation when one character doesn’t get a love interest(that they must be gay, ace etc... nothing wrong with those type of characters, or headcanon, but “we’re not doing romance genre RN/ the characters are busy fighting a war” should be a sufficient explanation in and of itself whatever the characters’ orientations are.) 

General Character Impressions:

Their secret seems to be rolling with the basic tropes but connecting them into an interesting structre, so it comes off neither overly in your face nor one dimensional.

Lance - ‘Average Joe Relatable PoV character’ except they made him not-boring by making him the snarky/funny one & giving (he’s got ice powers & is the designated long range fighter, both very cool powers, pun not intended but retroactively appreciated) as well as drawing logical consequences (He’s the most attached to earth because of his relatively ‘normal’ background & wants to prove himself because it seems he was the midle child among numerous siblings, hence the rivalry with the local ace pilot.) Sorta calls to mind the likes of Kyon from Haruhi or Sokka from Avatar.  

Hunk - For once the “all around nice heart of the group with the more intuitive, roundabout type of reasoning” isn’t the token girl but I’m glad that role’s still there because niceness & group cohesion is a valid attribute. The “nice person” is typically the healer or magic user but making them the defensive fighter makes just as much sense, especially with his personality as the more cautions common sense-y one who becomes committed to the mission through the desire to protect innocents. 

Pidge - The “secretly a girl” thing is kinda trite but it makes sense as a reference to the original and they still eschewed the tropes by how she was badass well before & doesn’t get treated any different afterwards - The plot twist is more that she’s related to the scientists from the prologue. Otherwise another potential spirit animal of mine, VERY relatable in ways I can’t count, fro the nerdy reactions all the way to the short stubby arms XD I’m also grateful that they didn’t give us that trite old “nature vs science” contrast but instead portrayed these as connected.  It’s like Kensuke from Evangelion, except as a girl & she actually got to be a pilot. 

Keith - The Rival Character. Second-best fighter  of the paladins, sort of a ‘larger-than-life’ superhumanly good ace pilot, to Lance’s ongoing chagrin (and indeed he turns out to be part warrior alien), also, predictably, the local cynic. Seems to have the least ties to earth/ have been looking for a purpose in life anyways.    Not quite a ‘stoic number two’ though - He’d probably like to be but he absolutely doesn’t really know when to shelf it, hence his being highly suceptible to Lance’s provocations & flunking out because of a “discipline issue” despite his aparent talent. 

Shiro - Former Ace Pilot & personal hero for both Lance & Keith. Got alien abducted & subjected to the full repertoire (gladiator fights, experimented on, augmented etc.) & is understandeably still rather shook from it. Serious disciplined military type & natural leader, hence ends up taking over almost immediately wheen stranded with a bunch of ragtag space cadet rejects and, as a result, becomes everyone’s beloved big brother figure./mentor. Supposedly just as loved by the fandom?  Actually still pretty young, he just looks mature in comparison to the others but he’s not above getting in a snowfight. 

Allura - There’s the “sweet princess classic”, the “fierce alien warrior princess” and the “glittery plot magic princess” and in Allura’s case they seem to have been thrown in a blender & put together in such a fashion as to make a more complicated character - She’s certainly fierce, somewhat agressive, suspicious & hellbent on her mission but she also has the diplomatic grace one would expect of a royal & ultimately she does have a sweet side (hinted at early on with her adorable animal companions) - The basic gist of it is that she’s a regular teenage girl somewhere, but has been trained for asskicking & diplomacy all her life, & now she’s the last survivor & feels the pressure to carry on her father’s torch & stop the evil empire so she affects a comanding presence most of the time. 

Also there seems to be some meme about calling her a racist (Ugh tumblr) ? This seems to me as one of this stuations where people want complex characters but cannot handle it if they’re not perfect or fitting into easy boxes. 

The whole point of her is that she comes from a different time & culture with it’s conlicts outside of the human character’s PoVs. Like point me at any angry alien princess who is NOT suspicious. Both being unfrozen and heck, even Zarkon’s betrayal are still relatively recent for her, and in the end she was just kinda avoiding Keith (granted, in what must’ve been a confusing uncertain time for him) more than actively being mean and she came through on her own & apologized. Like, it was just like Hunk said: She just needed processing time, something she’s been afforded preciously little of at any point ever, I mean she goes straight from realizing everyone she ever knew (except Coran) is dead to launching an offensive.  

Bonus: I shall attempt to MBTI the bunch

(In Order of certainty)

Hunk - most obvious ISFJ to ever SiFe 

Allura - ESTJ

Pidge - INTP

Keith - ISTP or possibly ISFP, certainly Se-aux tho. One the one hand he uses Fi-ish language in places (”If I don’t do this, I’ll never find out who I am...”) on the other hand he tends to prioritize the mission & is the most cynical/pragmatic of the bunch & tends to be stoic & objective unless provoked (”The rest of the universe has families too.” “Yeah but can we afford to rescue the princess?”) - His relative reactiveness when provoked is sufficiently accounted for by Se. 

Zarkon - ESTJ 

Shiro - ISTJ (though his instant commanding presence makes me doubt the I somewhat that said politician/leader ISTJs do happen. He seems to have been serious & dilligent even before all the trauma tho.)

Lance - ESFJ or possibly Se-dom, ESxx for sure tho. 

Coran - Clearly has Si and Ne but not sure in which order. If I had to guess I’d say he’s either a very dutiful ENFP or a very quirky ISTJ. 

[sparrowhaven]

Bi-annual state of the self

*waves* soooo if you’re new to my blog, for the past couple of years I’ve had a couple of times of year where I write/post a bit about Sad Personal Shit. At this point it’s more to remind myself about how far I’ve come than actually inform other people about my state of mind. Although I guess it helps people know I’m doing okay since I hardly talk about personal stuff in public. Like in previous posts I’ll put most of the info under a cut to not clutter up anyone’s dash or make anyone really sad unless they wanna take a look.

As of writing this I’m doing fine (though admittedly I’ve been working on this off and on since the tail end of December and I’m like 95% sure i’m done as of 1/20 hahaha nvm i’m still touching up on this on 1/25). I’m probably okay when this gets posted. Well. Very likely on the lower end of okay. I’ll put in details under the cut but if anyone wants to ask questions privately I’ll answer them. Though maybe not immediately or even until late today because god knows I’ll be working to try not to think about today AND THEN I’m going to see A Dog’s Purpose with my family because my youngest sister insisted on taking us to a movie that’s gonna at least make ME cry.

Um, if you don’t want to read this and/or you wanna know what to do to help me out, send me funny and/or wholesome memes and videos. I also like cute stuff involving elephants and owls and cats and snakes. Any animal really but those are like my top 4 in no real order. Oh, or puns. I love puns. Yeah lots of puns will help too cuz I’ll be able to read them to other people who’ll need a laugh or a groan.

....This is gonna be long so sorry in advance for my rambling. 

Anyway, on with the show.

To get this out of the way and also summarize the reason behind this post: my younger brother Benjamin killed himself on August 25, 2014. Today, January 27, 2017, would have been his 21st birthday. It’s been a bit of a ride these past couple of years to say the least even without the bullshit that was a good chunk of 2016.

So before I get asked this, no the name Benjamin or Ben or any other nickname related to it doesn’t trigger me. I’ll notice it, sure, but only in the same way anyone else with siblings would notice someone saying their sibling’s name in a regular context. Same goes for anyone mentioning having a brother. Suicide or death in general as a topic in conversation or in a story doesn’t exactly trigger me, but talk about wanting to die or disappear can make me a bit anxious even if the person talking doesn’t actually mean to do anything (although admittedly some days I can handle such talk better than others). I can get really intense just because (as mentioned in at least one previous post) there was a tangible hole in the world when my brother died and I dunno what I’d do if someone I knew just suddenly left again. This doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me when you’re feeling like you need to die or disappear and you need to tell someone. BY ALL MEANS please talk to me if you’re having these kinds of feelings--keeping them inside is worse than letting them out even to someone who might try to grab your face through a computer screen in an attempt to let you know that they care about you a lot. Don’t be worried about hurting me if you’re hurting. I tend to describe my current existence as “varying states of okay” but most of the time I’m on the better end of okay. I’ll let you know if I can’t handle things.

Oh yeah another thing: If I mentioned my brother in a conversation with someone that didn’t know about anything related to him, I always tried very very hard to use past tenses so that I wouldn’t be lying. Like “god he used to do such and such” or telling a story about him from when he was a kid. Mostly it’s because he was a great person and I love to bring up the silly things that he did and that happened to him in his life even if I don’t necessarily want everyone I meet to know that he’s dead. Also, I know a couple of people who are gonna feel really dumb because they didn’t figure this out sooner and I’m here to say that IT’S OKAY SERIOUSLY. I was only avoiding the topic because it’s heavy as fuck, why would I want to dump all that on you all at once just a little while after we met I mean come on. Also as a general rule I usually don’t feel bad enough about Ben’s death in particular to want to broach the subject in the first place. I’ve got more pressing things to stress about and tackle first, y’know? 

Obviously that isn’t to say that I don’t still feel SOMETHING even 2 and a half years later. I definitely still miss him. But it’s like even if I AM having a bad day related to Ben’s death (like...being reminded of what age he should be as an example) I just don’t normally talk about this stuff with people I’ve only met since he died because...well, first off not everyone’s had someone close to them die. See, the thing that no one tells you about grief before you lose someone close to you is that the feelings don’t really go away. It’s more like, you get more used to missing the person that died but there are definitely times when the pain will flare up thanks to some reminder and you have to cry about it. People who haven’t lost anyone might not be able to understand or empathize when they’ve had no experience with loss. And that’s fine. I don’t ever want someone to lose someone close to them just to understand how I feel FUCK no. It’s just that the barrier of experience can make the conversation immediately turn awkward from the other side not knowing what to say and me not wanting to make them uncomfortable. So, as much as possible I try to avoid that.

Secondly, mentioning Ben and how he died can sound a lot like I’m trying to grab attention. Which, I don’t want or ever intend to do. At this point in my life (to me, at least), his being dead has been solidified as fact. Which means that when I mention his death it’s more like I’m saying that the sky is blue or the grass is green. Saying the words has easier and easier as time’s gone on. Not everyone will get that being able to say them at all is in fact one of the ways I know I’ve taken some steps forward in healing. So they might assume that I’m trying to gain sympathy points when all I really wanna do is talk. (Most of this is just paranoia I’m aware but it’s still a valid reason.)

And thirdly...well, there’s just some things I can say candidly that not everyone is going to appreciate right away. They tend to be a mix of reminiscing about stuff my brother did or would totally do in a given situation and whatever situation I happen to be in. This can lead to morbidly funny things such as this story about a conversation my sister and I had:

(He really would pull a fucking stunt like that tho. Not to really be mean but because he was that kinda person. As an example, he would sneak into my room while I had my headphones on and scare the crap outta me just because he could and I wasn’t paying attention.)(I didn’t end up with a shittily wrapped present on my bed but that would definitely have been something)

Okay now that we’ve got that extra long preamble out of the way, I can now get to how I’ve been lately.

The year and a bit after Ben died was hard, but it was easy compared to 2016 for whatever reason (even though for obvious reasons I consider 2014 to be my worst year). I was feeling more and more broken and alone as the year dragged on despite my moments of relief whenever I hung out with family or talked with my online friends or went to my grief group. On my days off of work I was often just at the house, not doing much of anything and not having any motivation to do much more than watch videos. Sure I had my good moments, but those seemed to get drowned out by how dull and repetitive life felt. Months ticked by and I was getting more and more lonely and missing the fact that my brother would have been there with me to go to places (despite knowing that he would probably have been working on my days off, the loneliness doesn’t have a set logic behind it). I don’t think I would’ve done anything to myself (there’s no way I’d put my family through what we’ve been through again) but I was fully aware that something had to be done and soon.

So one day I decided to join a private livestream of an artist I’d backed on patreon. I’d initially starting giving her money because I thought she deserved it and I didn’t really care about getting a reward for it, but one night she’d posted about doing a livestream for her patrons and I decided to see what would happen. And I had a great time. Everyone was so chill and friendly, and it was fun seeing her draw pages for her comic and talk to her patrons about all kinds of topics. So the next time she streamed, I joined that. And since then I’ve joined in on other livestreams of other artists, met new, wonderful people, joined discord servers and in general I’ve just been feeling much better about myself. And definitely less lonely. I don’t always make friends very easily but I’ve found strong platonic connections with these friends I’ve made and in a very short period of time. And I hope that I’ve helped them as much as they’ve helped me lately.

By the way just so we’re all clear in this whole long ramble: I appreciate every single one of my friends, old or new, and you’ve all helped me out in different ways while I’ve been sorting myself out. Just because I might not talk to you about my feelings or issues doesn’t mean I don’t like you or I’ve suddenly stopped caring about you. If you feel like you didn’t do anything for me because I didn’t say anything about it I WANT YOU, YES YOU THE PERSON READING THIS WHO IS MY FRIEND, TO KNOW THAT YOU BEING YOU HAS HELPED ME PERIOD THE END. Really. I’m not just saying that. Everyone has contributed something that’s helped me out in recent months even if to you it was just a silly chat. Don’t think I won’t smother you in momfriend worry and assurances and positive callouts about how good you are if you don’t believe me I STG.

2016 was a hard year for everyone. Friends of mine have gone through really hard times, politics has played havoc with everyone’s emotions, well respected and loved celebrities have died...with the dawning of this year I can only hope for the best for everyone (despite the really shitty political climate) and offer some words of advice and encouragement: 

You CAN move on from your very worst day. Even the one that you never, ever wanted to happen. It’s going to really suck, but you can do it. You’ll feel like you’re in the bottom of a deep ditch with no way out, but there IS a path up. Finding it is something you’re going to have to figure out on your own, but there are other people out there who can help point you in the right direction if you need them. And if you don’t need anyone you can still find your way. Just keep moving, one step at a time. 

Don’t worry about being “slow” in recovering. Don’t even worry if you feel like you’re never gonna recover at all. 

There isn’t a competition to see who can heal better/faster/stronger/ever from something traumatic. 

The important part is that you’re moving forward, even at what you feel like is a snail’s pace because if you’re still moving and breathing you’re still alive. The objective is to stay alive for as long as possible. (I’m not saying that there won’t ever be times when you’ll break down because of your feelings as you move on. Hell I’m WELL AWARE that those points in time never really go away.)

What you need is perspective. The more time and experience you have, the better you end up being able to handle what hurt you. 

You might not think you’re important but I can guarantee you that if you died that people would feel your absence. It might not be the people you’d have expected, but they still will feel something because you’re gone.

Be gentle with those who lost someone, but you don’t necessarily have to walk on eggshells around them. Most of the time, they just want someone to talk to about their experiences. 

So, if you need any more metaphors or advice or just someone to talk to I’m willing to help however I can.

Also Ben, wherever you are, I hope you have a good birthday. We all still love and miss you, but we’re doing okay. I mean. just within this past month I’ve managed to draw you fairly well so there’s something positive. 

So you don’t have to worry about us from wherever you are on the other side. Really. Thank you for watching over us, tho. Happy birthday.

[fashiontrendin-blog]

What the Zodiac Says About Your Family Dynamic

http://fashion-trendin.com/what-the-zodiac-says-about-your-family-dynamic/

What the Zodiac Says About Your Family Dynamic

Astrology is but one small block in the massive Jenga tower of family dynamics, but let’s poke it loose anyway — just for fun. It’s the holidays! With respect to our post-nuclear-family landscape, I don’t presume to know anything about your domestic life, but for our purposes, your “family” can be any group of people with whom you feel safe and loved. It can be your little brother and single mom, the funky cousins who only come around once a year, the group of ladies that you get drinks with every Friday night or your significant other. I’m not here to judge your familial crews; I’m just here to interpret what random star patterns might say about your place in them. So grab some eggnog and your sun sign and join me below for a reading of your family role.

Aries

It’s probably fairly easy to spot the Aries in your family. They’re the ones who get super-competitive during the innocent tradition of New Year’s Eve charades or come to the annual reunion with a fully rehearsed skit. This is the cousin that’s always Instagramming new tattoos or the older sibling who tries to persuade you to go skydiving.

Aries is a striking, daring sign that isn’t afraid to be the center of attention. These people will say how they feel in any situation — and that includes family dinners, get-togethers and group outings. This brash nature can rub people the wrong way sometimes. But Aries is also a fiercely loving and generous sign. You can always count on the Aries in your family to take risks for you and support you through big decisions. They’ll let you crash on their sofas anytime — just be prepared for frequent pep talks and soliloquies along the way.

Taurus

As a typical earth sign, Taurus needs structure and routine on a regular basis. But Taurus is unique in that this sign also exercises daily creativity. You probably go to a Taurus’ house every year for Thanksgiving because the meals are consistently excellent — and there’s always an extra surprise dish waiting for your approval.

Taurus often gets the reputation of materialism. In reality, Taurus simply values comfort and luxury. Their homes are always impeccably decorated; their holiday parties have perfectly curated gift bags; the presentation of the buffet table would make Chopped judges cry. Taurus revels in sharing this lifestyle with the people they love, and so they play the role of host with unmatchable grace.

Gemini

Gemini is the stereotypical fun-loving, rule-breaking family member. This is your parent’s sibling who gave you chocolate donuts for breakfast when you weren’t supposed to have sugar. This is the aunt who wears all black and travels the world, bringing you unexpected and exotic gifts on your birthday.

Geminis are highly social, attentive and energetic. Gemini is the most restless air sign, which means that both their minds and their bodies are constantly in motion. They’re always spearheading the conversations as well as the weekend outings, so don’t let this sign’s flighty reputation fool you. Chances are, the Gemini is the person blowing up your family group chat — and they’re always the one who follows through on the wildest and best plans.

Cancer

Cancer is the classic “mom” of the zodiac — they’re protective, supportive and highly expressive. If you’re blessed enough to have an actual Cancer parent, whether mother or father, you probably lived in the designated playdate house among your friends. If you have a Cancer in your friend group, they probably have the coziest, most welcoming apartment for movie nights.

Cancer is the sign that will care for you and look out for you, no matter what. They will text you after an exam to ask how it went, and they’ll offer to role-play with you to practice for a big date. If that sounds weird, Cancers are kind of weird. But they’re mature and sentimental and everything you want a family member to be, too.

Leo

Leos are strong, willful and impossibly proud. This is the family member to go to if you need someone on your side — whether you’re fighting with a sibling, trying to persuade your mom to let you go to a party, or still waiting on your friend to fulfill a Venmo request. If you manage to convince a Leo of your position, you have an ally for life. They stand their ground, and they’re not afraid of a debate.

This sign is also extremely affectionate. Leos enjoy displaying their affection in tangible ways — and while they don’t necessarily expect anything material in return, they do expect gratitude and appreciation. They feel threatened by apathy. So if you’re near a Leo this holiday season, make sure to smile extra wide when you open their present; it’ll make all the difference.

Virgo

I once described the Virgo in my friend group as “the glue that holds us together.” Four years later, it’s still completely true: Virgos are the voices of reason for many families and group dynamics. They’re the ones who will step in and mediate when you’re having a ridiculous argument about travel plans or where to eat — they’re known for their reliability and tranquility in the face of stress.

That being said, earth signs value ambition and drive, so don’t be surprised if your Virgo parent is always asking about that “upcoming promotion” or if your Virgo sibling is a straight-A’s shut-in. While those are stereotypical readings of the Virgo sign, it’s true that these people are usually meticulous, organized perfectionists. They hate useless squabbles, but they’re happy to squabble for a noble cause.

Libra

If your holiday season is typically tinged with family stress, I’d be surprised if you have a Libra in your group, as Libras are unnaturally gifted conversationalists. They are excellent at diffusing tense situations, and their optimistic outlook tends to saturate any social gathering. Unlike Virgos, Libras won’t try to face the problem head-on, mediating a situation through rational discussion; rather, they’ll distract the group with board games or memes or a particularly charming anecdote. Libras work efficiently and subtly to barter peace.

Occasionally, a Libra will come off as a try-hard. But that’s just because they hate confrontation and love to feel loved. With a Libra in your group, you’ll have access to a gym buddy, a style consultant, a person who remembers to bring your favorite wine every time they come over — and if that’s what a notorious try-hard brings to the table, who would refuse?

Scorpio

The Scorpio vibe is very much “the sibling who’s barely left their room in months and it’s becoming vaguely worrisome.” This sign can be a little angsty, intimidating or difficult to talk to. But at its core, Scorpio is a water sign that values and seeks human connection. Water signs are famously sensitive and family-oriented; Scorpios in particular possess an extremely acute intuition and can easily detect insecurities in other people.

Scorpios are contradictory in nature; while they can be highly selfish, they’re also sympathetic. This can manifest as martyrdom, particularly in familial structures. They’re very sensitive to tension and may have difficulty vocalizing their emotions to their parents (as children) or to their children (as parents). However, they’re extremely honest and spontaneous people, so be careful not to fill a Scorpio with too many secrets before they serve the wine at your family dinner party.

Sagittarius

Everyone has that family member who plans sporadic trips, builds forts for the kids’ sleepovers and always tells the best jokes — the family member who starts the party but is occasionally the reason why it ends, too. This is the essence of a Sagittarius. They usually don’t know their own power. Sagittarius is an outgoing, charismatic sign with an undeniable streak of recklessness.

Sagittarians are independent and adventurous from the get-go. If you have an archer sibling, like I do, then you may remember that they tried to run away as a child for no particular reason. Or perhaps they threw raucous parties while your parents were away but never seemed to suffer any consequences. This confidence, this lust for life, lends itself to the Sagittarian magnetism. They’re always the life of the party — even if the party is at your grandma’s house.

Capricorn

I can imagine that having a Capricorn in your household is a little like living inside of Jay Gatsby’s head. The decor is purposeful and pristine; even your parties are carefully mapped out so as to achieve a specific goal. Capricorns are hard-working, self-sufficient individuals who have a plan. I don’t know what the plan is or what it’s for — does anybody, really? — but I know that they have one.

This is why Capricorns make excellent caretakers. They’ll pour their whole heart into making sure you feel loved and safe. They’ll do anything to make sure you succeed. This is true whether you have a Capricorn for a parent, best friend or wise neighbor whom you go to for advice. A Capricorn will listen carefully and help you map a plan of attack. They’ll make sure that both your coffee and your morals are strong.

Aquarius

If you want to understand the Aquarius’ role in a family, look no further than the hero of the holiday classic Home Alone. We can debate this movie’s true intended audience until the McCallisters come home (it seems a little gory for children, no?) but Kevin’s Aquarian spirit is undeniable. First, he’s a little strange. Second, he embraces his independence from a very young age. Third, and most importantly, he’s ingenious.

An Aquarius may find themselves misunderstood within their own family dynamic, acting as a sort of outlier — perhaps not to the extent that their parents will forget them while going on vacation (twice), but an outlier all the same. Aquarius is the sign that embraces individualism and uniqueness more than any other in the zodiac. As with Kevin, this is what affords Aquarians their resourceful, inspired nature; he may be the family loner, but that’s what makes him an icon.

Pisces

Aquarius may be famously unique, but Pisces is the true eccentric of the zodiac, adorned with a deeply compassionate, understanding soul. The Pisces in your group is the person who gives you a crystal to help you ward off negative energy, or makes extremely accurate Netflix recommendations. More than anything else, Pisces is a perceptive sign. Even if your Luna Lovegood-type cousin only comes to your house once a year, she probably knows you better than you may feel comfortable with. That’s how they’re such excellent gift-givers.

Water signs, and Pisces in particular, can usually be counted on for a sympathetic ear. If you need to rant or unload — but don’t necessarily want advice — a Pisces is your best bet. They have advice, sure, and it’s probably really good, but they’d never insert themselves into your life without your explicit permission. They often prefer to remain on the outskirts, calmly observing and absorbing the emotions.

Illustrations by Allison Filice.