#i understand that war is a very cute crier but do we really need for his character to be in constant cry mode???

[theyellowhue]

i wanna watch Love Mechanics but i am not emotionally steady for all of the angst and infidelity of that series and i think that my heart will literally break in half if i even try to watch "the best story" because contrary to its title, its fcking not.

[ninavarelas]

happy new year!

hi, this will really just be a stream of consciousness, but it’s way too long for twitter and i don’t understand instagram other than posting dog pics so here we are! is anyone on tumblr anymore?? i don’t know how many followers i have on here, it’s probably like 15! that’s great, hi to the 15 of you!

(quick aside: one of my favorite opening lines of all time is “I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.” it’s from I CAPTURE THE CASTLE by dodie smith. so, to set the scene, i write this sitting in my bed at my mama’s house which is on a south carolina mountain just off appalachia, and it’s just about to start storming so the sky is big gray and every leaf on the whole entire mountain is currently being whipped up and tossed against my window. i live in los angeles now and there’s nothing i miss more than a good rainstorm! growing up my dad’s house had a tin roof and the rain really did “drum” on that thing. and the wind howled around the corners like i haven’t experienced in any other house, and we had lots of windchimes... i think the best sound combination i can think of is “rain on a tin roof, howling wind, frenetic windchimes.” is there asmr of that???? anyway scene set.)

so the main thing i wanted to say is of course: thank you. i can’t even tell you how nervous i was leading up to the CRIER’S WAR debut. the first 9 months of 2019 was basically just one extended breakdown. i don’t even know what i was nervous about. the mortifying ordeal of being known? everyone hating the book? nobody reading the book? lots of people reading the book?? either way, i was real real nervous and then of course debut happened and it shocked me how great it was. i think because so much of the actual writing process is lonesome. not lonely like “i crave human interaction” but lonesome like a little shack in the woods that sometimes people stumble across but most days they don’t and that’s just how it goes. so much of the writing process is just me sitting by myself in various places, and for so long the only people who read this book were a couple editors and my closest friends. i think i got so caught up in the idea of people Reading the book that i forgot about the natural conclusion of people reading the book, which is people Caring About the book. silly of me considering i have spent most of my life intensely caring about other people’s books! but i’ve been asked a few times what the most surprising/unexpected part of debut year was, and my answer is: the way so many people care about this story and these characters. i’m trying to think of a good way to phrase this.... okay, you know how a big part of fandom is you take the source material and build on it and make it your own? you write fic, make art, come up with content ranging anywhere from “What About the Other Finns?: My 10,000 Word Essay on the Humanization and Subsequent Re-dehumanization of Stormtroopers Throughout the Sequel Trilogy” to “poe has a collection of pashmina scarves and that’s final.” you take the source material and use it to create something wider, deeper, more meaningful; you turn it into whatever you need it to be at this moment. 

there’s an endless debate about “does a story belong to the writer or the reader?” and i don’t know anything about anything but i do think it belongs to you; i think the best part of the story is whatever the reader creates once they’ve closed the book. if someone cares enough about the story to start telling their own stories about it, in any form, that’s the best. a great many people have done that with CRIER’S WAR. yes i am talking about your twitter memes!! yes i am talking about your art and fic (i know a couple fics have been posted, i can’t read any of it for legal reasons, but i See You) and very cute “currently reading” threads and headcanons and book ii theories and all of it. i wrote the book but now it belongs to you and you’re doing such wonderful things with it. thank you for reading and thank you for caring. (also thank you to those who read but don’t really care! that’s valid!!). thank you, really thank you.

i’m just finishing up revisions on IRON HEART, also known as 2 WAR 2 CRIERS, and it’s been strange because i’ve never written any sort of sequel before. but i learned a lot and i hope i’ve done well. i like the ending i wrote. i’m not good at complimenting my own writing but i like that ending. i hope y’all will too; i hope it fits with whatever you need it to be.  

what else....

well, 2020 is going to be hard. i feel so helpless all the time. every day brings a new atrocity or disaster both here in the US and all over the world, and sometimes it feels like the only thing i can do is bear witness. i hate that sometimes all you can do is donate or signal boost and i hate that i can’t donate to every single cause & person and i hate that i can’t just... make all of it stop, which sounds so simplistic and childish but it’s the baseline truth of what i feel. i wish i could make all of it stop. what i can do is pay attention and vote and annoy the shit out of my state reps and show up and signal boost and donate and keep googling “how to help victims of ____” and so on and it all feels so tiny and futile, it really does. whew this got sad huh!! well... yeah!! 

sorry this turned into a bummer right at the end! 

in the coming year what i wish for you is hope. it’s going to be hard and exhausting and there will be times where the terrible things, big and small, pile up until that’s all you can see, and for those times i wish you hope and not-aloneness and the ability to keep going. i also wish you good fortune in whatever project you’re working on and everything you’re striving for, again big and small. 

once again, thank you thank you endlessly for reading and supporting CRIER’S WAR. i love and appreciate you, thank you.

happy new year, let’s get through it together.

much love,

nina

[sosu-morgue]

Romanced companions reactions to having a child with Soul.

Aww, that’s so sweet

I was going to do this whole convoluted process of who is and is not having a child with Sole since non-humans can’t reproduce, like Hancock - ghouls are sterile.Unfortunately, there are many complications with that which make it too complicated to really enjoy. Curie is a synth, Danse is too, Deacon isn’t so Sole would carry the child but that means a gender neutral Sole isn’t possible.Default reacts will have a neutral Sole. I don’t want anyone to feel left out.

So Sole will be gender neutral and all children will be adopted children taken in by romanced Sole x Companion. It allows everyone to love, adopt, and raise a child while allowing you guys to imagine your own Sole; male, female, or really any gender you want whenever. : )

Context:It was a depressing reality in the commonwealth. This post-war world was changed when Sole emerged from Vault 111, but the harsh world still exhibited no mercy on the defenseless.During their travels Sole found something in need of their help. Or rather, someone.

Cait:Sole, the singular person she cared for dearly, had found a child. An infant to be exact. The kid was wrapped up in this mix of torn clothing and a section of what looked to be tarp.

Cradling the infant in their arms, Sole had this look in their eye. Something connected to them instantly. Cait didn’t know that look, but she had a guess. “Don’t tell me you’re thinkin’ what I think you’re thinkin’.”

Sole seemed awestruck by this child. A young boy with a tuft of brown hair and hazel eyes. “He has the same eyes as Shaun…” They said quietly, like a shocked response under their breath. “It’s… kind of funny. He looks a lot like Shaun, actually.”

Cait stared at Sole who never looked up for even a second. It didn’t take long for Cait to figure out what Sole wanted to do. Though they still fought to save Shaun from the Institute, they couldn’t shake this feeling.

“The hell we doin’, Sole?” Cait’s usual harsh tone caused Sole to glance up, a worried look in their eye. “We can’t just leave the little noise maker here. I know you still got Shaun’s crib.”

Sole smiled and reached to give Cait a hug with one arm. The red haired woman just shook her head. “He’s… kinda cute lookin’. For somethin’ that cries nonstop.”

Curie:Now she didn’t need a lot of convincing. She was more than thrilled to see the infant Sole brought back to Sanctuary.

She held the child, rocked them, and read them stories. She learned all these practices from various surviving books as well as Sole’s instructions. Curie felt so deeply connected to the infant the second she held them.

This affection came as a surprise to Sole and a very welcome one at that. She spent as much time as she could with the new child in their life, sharing parenthood was never something she thought about. She didn’t think it was a possibility considering herself as a synth and Sole searching desperately for their own son.

“Sweet little thing…” Curie held the child close, hugging them to her chest and kissing their nose. “I love you.”

Danse:His life was a… complicated and confusing mess since he was kicked out of the Brotherhood. As a synth he believed his life was an affront to humanity, a threat to future of this world. The Institute created him in a lab, he was not born, he had no family.

Well, expect for Sole. They became his only family and he was thankful, even though he didn’t understand why Sole chose to be with a synth.

Now the complicating life he lead with Sole got even stranger. He figured, before he discovered he was a synth, eventually he would have a family and possibly a child. He would age, he would have to retire from active duty. Something he never wanted to happen, but now that he wasn’t with the Brotherhood…

He held the infant in his arms up, careful to support their neck and head. He had no idea what to do, this was far more confusing than anything else.

But Sole knew what to do, Sole knew everything from the very beginning. Which made sense of course, they had a child before so of course they knew more than Danse.

Yet he held the child, felt how soft their skin was, how they smiled until their face turned red.

And he fell for the child immediately. It was difficult, he didn’t know what to do about this, he didn’t know if he should say this or if this wasn’t normal.

Sole placed a hand on the baby’s head, catching Danse’s attention. They smiled at him and he grinned back.He never thought much about a family outside the Brotherhood and now he wished he had before. He loved the promise of this new civilian life.

Deacon:He missed his wife dearly, he always thought about raising a child with her. Of course he knew that wasn’t possible now, but back then… it was a different world.

Holding this child in his arms he patted their back to calm them. Sole had this sweet, loving expression as they watched Deacon with the child. Deacon was surprised he had imagined it so accurately, specifically how it would feel to hold a child of their own.

This infant was all he wanted as a family. The kid wasn’t a big crier, they seemed more into staring and touching than anything else. When the infant grabbed the rim of his glasses he chuckled. They were reflective and that was perfect for the kid.

“I think they’re digging the shades, Deacon.” Sole took a step back, watching Deacon’s smile widening.

“Of course, they have good taste.” He lifted the infant up, watching them holding the sunglasses to their mouth and sucking on them. “I didn’t mean literally.”

Hancock:The kid was cared for certainly - it was unfortunate that the parents were part of a violent gang ambushing caravans. Sole had to stop the attacks, they were crippling Minutemen supply lines to settlements. Sole and Hancock had no idea there was an infant down here until they heard the cries.

Sole took a shine to the kid the second they found them. Carrying the infant out of the dilapidated super duper mart, Sole found themselves unable to let go of the kid.Then Sole proposed the… option of taking the infant back to Sanctuary and raising them. It was sudden and unexpected, Hancock had no idea what to say.

So Sole suggested that they take the kid in, but Hancock didn’t have to be there. They simply did not want to force anything on Hancock especially since this was such a sudden turn of events and a huge commitment.

Hancock hesitated, he didn’t know what to do. All he really knew was he was in deep with Sole, he didn’t want to leave their side. It took some time, he took a few days to consider it.

In the end he saw how much Sole loved the child, how much they doted on them. He figured Sole was the person he wanted to be with, if there was anyone he wanted to raise a kid with… Sole was definitely the person.

At the end of it all he took up the responsibility. After all, someone had to be mayor when he retired.

MacCready:Having a kid was nothing alien to MacCready. He loved Duncan like his life depended on it. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for his son and he didn’t think he would have another child anytime soon.

Yet here he stood, Sole at his side cradling an infant and cooing to them. Sole loved the child, adored them with everything they had. The kid would want for nothing under the protection of the pre-war survivor from Vault 111. Between Sole, the Minutemen, and Sole’s network of loyal friends and factions - this was the most well protected child in all the commonwealth.

When Sole raised the child to MacCready and he held the infant in his arms, he was smitten with them. The infant held his finger, all bubbly and just happy to be there. Such a sweet happy little child so curious and excited.

He held the infant close, rocking the baby until they grew tired. When the infant fell asleep in his arms, such a content look on their face, MacCready realized Duncan had just got a sibling.

Sole was glad because they already knew the kid would be staying with them in Sanctuary. There was no other option. With MacCready and Sole’s experience raising children, they both were ready for this one and more than happy to take the child in.

Nick:In this dark, grisly, and struggling world raising a child seemed impossible to Nick. For more than one reason for Nick, obviously him being a synth made having a child with any relationship he started would not happen.

Still people raised children and they grew up either in the commonwealth by wanderers, by settlers, or people living in the few towns in the area. He found it rather hopeful, he was glad to see people still trying to live their lives. Seeing the kids run around Diamond City was always a welcome sight.

He never thought about caring for a child himself. There just wasn’t that option, not until he arrived in Sanctuary seeing Sole in their home holding an infant in their arms.

The kid was not Shaun, he knew that. Shaun was older than an infant, they learned that from Kellogg’s memory. This was another child, he didn’t know where from but seeing Sole carry them close…

Nick sat down across from Sole, sure to be quiet as the child slept. Sole gave him an almost nervous smile which Nick returned. He figured this was how it would happen. Unexpected, surprising for sure, yet he welcomed the chance to raise a child with Sole quickly.

Piper:She was always trying to raise Nat, always trying to keep things together. Between work, raising her sister, and crossing the commonwealth with Sole she barely had any time to herself.

So when Sole and Piper found a child in the home of some farmers that had been murdered by raiders, she didn’t know what to think.

Sole took the child back to Sanctuary, resting the exhausted and upset infant in Shaun’s old crib, they took a serious look at their options. Watching the child sleep, Sole knew exactly what they wanted. They wanted to move on… Sole still had Shaun, the synth child made by the real Shaun, who was gone now.

But giving Shaun a sibling, having the chance to raise a child… Sole felt a compulsion to have this chance.

Piper wasn’t against the idea really, she just didn’t know what to do. How to raise a child in the commonwealth wasn’t an easy task. Seeing Sole coddle the child brought a smile to her face.When she cared for the infant, she grew attached quicker than she anticipated.

It didn’t take long before she and Sole agreed to raise the child together, Shaun now had a sibling, and Nat became an aunt.

Preston:He was proud, thrilled to get this chance as a father. He wanted a family, he wanted to make the world safe enough to have a kid and a significant other like Sole.

Now, with the General of the Minutemen, and the Minutemen themselves connecting all across the commonwealth. This was the most secure they might ever be.

When Sole found the child and shared their plan with Preston, he was happy to take on the challenge of raising a child with them. He adored the child, dedicated his days to caring for them and making the world a safer place while they grew up.

He was the happiest he had ever been, it had been far too long since he felt this hopeful for the future. Rebuilding the Minutemen made him hope for the best, but it wasn’t the same.

Now he had someone he loved, a child he would give his life for, and a people he could trust to do right by the commonwealth.

His life, even though he still fought against raiders, mutants, and so many other threats, was perfect. He had everything he ever wanted and never imagined he’d have.

With Sole and his own child in his arms, he knew everything would turn out just fine.