#i understand that people see this as making vi worse. but what you need to know is that the worst characters are always babey

[neon-sunsets]

it’s actually insane to me in retrospect that viktor got the arc he did. I need to go back and count his screen time minutes, but it’s clear that he’s up there numerically, and his story has so much weight within the narrative outside of just numbers as well.

beyond that, though, is the fact that viktor's narrative is fundamentally one about internalized ableism and the systemic structures that encourage it.

(obligatory disclaimer #1 that I have a significant mobility disability and a progressive chronic illness, but I am only one disabled person.)

imagine this: you are a child. you are disabled. the world you live in is one where you cannot afford healthcare; no one is there to teach you how to even use your cane correctly. your world is inaccessible and, worse, even the people who would normally show class solidarity with you don't, because you are not even able to do what they expect from you. characters like vi, powder, claggor, ekko, and mylo are all shown care and solidarity that viktor isn't — because they are able-bodied and therefore able to "pull their own weight."

this, at least, is an environment that can probably be overcome or mitigated by age and meeting people in your community who do care about you. this is an environment comparable to that of many, many, many disabled people who manage to thrive in a deeply unfair and ableist world.

but then you encounter a man who sees that you have talent and tells you as much. he does not ask much of you and he does not care that you are disabled. all he asks is for some help, which you give, and in return he teaches you the things he knows. what comes of this, after all is said and done and your understanding of the world has been fundamentally changed, is that you do have something you can give to your community, to the world. you have a talent which you can use to make yourself useful. you're not strong or sturdy but you can make machines, and that is always in need.

but you can't skate by on being useful like a normal child. the onus is always on you to prove that you're worth the air you breathe and the space you take up, that it's worthwhile to keep you alive. and the place to go to make yourself the most useful, where the most change can be made, is not a place you have any traditional way of accessing. you, through tenacity and grit, manage to get there anyways. (the show doesn't depict this, but any way viktor would have managed to get to the academy would have involved significant difficulty and possibly deception).

and when you get there, to that towering city of bronze, you find that nothing you do actually matters all that much.

everyone looks at you and sees your disability. everyone looks at you and sees where you're from. no matter how smart or accomplished or helpful you are, your behavior will always be, in their eyes, representative of your people. you could handle the stares, the rejection. but their judgement is dangerous to you and your people.

so, in order to survive, you must be perfect. you must project confidence or at least indifference to their cruelty. you must do as you're told and accept meager promotions and toil away as an assistant. you might be the only disabled zaunite they'll ever meet, so you have to make it count. if you fail, if they decide everyone from the undercity is lazy and useless, it's your fault.

you tell yourself you won't let them get to you. you tell yourself that you believe in your abilities.

it's a convenient narrative, and it's wholly untrue.

you, after all, are only a human being. a lifetime of the chips stacked against you is nearly impossible to overcome.

and so the image you build of yourself is that of a man far more self-confident than you, one who is quiet and reserved but proud of his accomplishments. the man you actually are, though, is one desperate for acceptance. desperate to assimilate. you chase your dreams, yes, but you can't bear to take credit, can't bear to be the face of them. you don't let yourself get close to anyone except the man you've built all of this with, who you love more than anyone else. you don't let anyone touch you (except him) and you don't touch anyone. you convince yourself you don't deserve his love or anyone's, that you're not whole enough for that.

you take it so far that, when you finally have the technology you think can cure your terminal illness, the first thing you try to fix is your leg. not the thing eating at your lungs and cutting short the time you thought you had, but the leg which has marked you as Other your entire life. and even though it doesn't quite work, even though it still causes you pain with every step, you force yourself to run on it — faster and faster until you're outrunning the ships and screaming because you may have visibly "fixed" your leg but it still hurts the same.

and when the system is not only oppressive in the material sense but also set up to make you hate yourself, there is almost no escaping this cycle of self-hatred. throw in the fact that in season 2 viktor keeps getting tossed from resurrection to resurrection against his will and it's no wonder the man did the things he did. it doesn't excuse them by any means, but arcane is not interested in excuses — it's interested in what makes people do the things they do. everything that he did to the people in the commune was a reflection of his own self-hatred, both because he still possessed it after death but also because, since he was programming the hexcore to try and save his life but started with "fixing" his leg, it is designed to make people as physically "normal" as possible. the faceless, identical machine people are a metaphorical representation of the ideology viktor has bought into in his pursuit of self-hatred and internalized ableism. his whole arc across both seasons is a demonstration and condemnation of the ways that systems of oppression reinforce self-hatred in the people they are oppressing.

obligatory disclaimer #2 that I don't think arcane did everything right. I'm frustrated with the direction of season 2 away from the piltover/zaun class conflict and towards the broader league of legends universe. but I do think, as a disabled person with a very similar experience of my disability to viktor, that this arc is well-done and very compelling. in the end, what saves the world is viktor accepting that he is deserving of being loved. I'm going to be thinking about this one for a good long while.

[choas232]

G/N Chatty reader x Steb 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Summary: In which you grapple with feelings you don’t yet understand by talking a certain enforcer’s ears off. Forced proximity makes everything worse, as it tends to.

CWs: Profanity. Canon typical violence. Reader has some bias about Zaunites they probably need to work on. I wrote most of this at 10pm at night, so be warned.

No use of Y/N, neutral terms and they/them are used to refer the reader. Set in episode three, season 2.

Word count: 2.9k

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝

“God. I’m starving. And tired. I barely slept at allllll last night. Do you think the Grey’s keeping us awake? Our glorious leader Kiramman sure wants it to, dragging us along at this cracking speed. It’s been a whole week, too. I’m gonna drop dead, at this rate.” You lament. Your fellow enforcer does not comment from his place behind you, his footsteps echoing around the pipe.

Graffiti crowds the metal surface, amateur artworks, declarations of love, violence, and scripts you don’t recognise cramming themselves over one another, space sparse and sought after. It’s not Jinx’s work. Still, there’s a chill on your back you choose to attribute to the profanities.

The people of the underground sure know how to decorate, that’s for sure.

You two have been chosen to scout out a fairly low-danger area in search of a Zuanite’s sighting of Jinx. He did say it after a hefty heaping of Grey was funnelled into his lungs and a gun was held to his head, but Caitlyn is paranoid enough to bark at shadows, and you will oblige, if only to keep her happy.

It’s not like any of you are much better. Loris is quieter than ever, Maddie jumps at the smallest sounds and of your companion… you have no idea. You never have. Steb’s inner workings remain a mystery to you.

You turn. “Are we there yet? We should be there soon, right?” Steb nods distantly, more focused on the setting around you.

This part of the pipes is yet to be flooded with grey, so you can see him clearly without the obscuring mask.

His light teal skin, thin lips, nose, sharp, angular features. His neat uniform. His polished posture. He is distinctly and utterly out of place amongst the chaos that surrounds you. His eyes are so blue. So opalescent, shining like pearls in his eye sockets. Is that weird to notice? How much detail is it normal to notice about someone? You should probably stop looking.

His ribbed ears flick back, ever so slightly, eyes flicking to meet yours for a brief moment.

You look away. “Uh.” His eyes. His blue eyes. Blue. “God. I’m sooo hungry. Hah. I haven’t eaten since this morning. The rations are running out, and all the Zaunite stuff Vi is bringing in is uhm, questionable.”

You don’t look behind you again, your mouth moving quicker. Your breath is tight, probably because of the steady stream of words flowing from your mouth. You think. “I would kill for a good sandwich. Or two. I might have to resort to cannibalism—”

Hands enclose around your collar and yank you back with force.

Below you, a human sized-hole lined with rusted, broken metal grating, a slowly, ever spinning fan—

Your heart staggers in your chest like a drunkard. Images of your empaled, scraped, body twisted and pressed beyond recognition cram into your skull, rattle and scream.

“Fuck.” You mumble, quietly. Steb’s hand releases your collar. “C-close one. Thanks. Fish-sticks. How didn’t I see that?” You laugh. He doesn’t. It isn’t funny.

He brushes the shoulder pads of your uniform off, carefully but hastily looking you up and down. He keeps a respectable distance between you, but you can still see his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. You mimic him. Your mouth feels dry.

He fixes you with a look as his hands drop to his sides, and although his face usually retains some semblance of ambiguity on it, you know exactly what he’s thinking. Watch where you’re going.

“Sorry doc. I…” You trail off. You should stop talking. You probably talk so much around him because he makes you nervous. Why does he make you nervous? Your usual slamming of thoughts trickles dry. You have no idea.

Carefully, you two traverse over the great gaping hole in the pipework. How did you miss it? You don’t sure don’t miss how Steb watches you hawk-like though, and the following guilt is low and prickling in your gut. He goes first, and every small unprompted movement of yours has him stiffening, arm moving to steady you.

“Jeez. Don’t mother hen me, I’m all grown-up, I assure you.” You bat him away, landing with a clang! of the metal against your boots as you leap across the last segment. His frown is resounding.

A corner stretches before you, now. You let him go first with a swing of your arm just in case the metal of the pipe opens up to attempt to swallow you yet again. “All yours,” He obliges.

It’s an open space. Milky green light filters through the roofing, painting the graffiti stained flooring monochromatic and hazy. Two other pipes adjoin to the room, and a mural of Janna clad in white laced with metallic armour bounds over the walls. It looks exactly like what was described, which is worrying, because hey, Jinx!

The sniffling child is even more worrying, though. Looking up, she brushes away dark locks  from her face and bursts into prompt tears. “Please, m-my-my… my leg. it really hurts.” She wails.

Sure enough, one of her legs is crushed under a slab of tin, making itself known as the cause of the light filtering through the roof. “Please. Please.” Snot dribbles down onto her ragged shirt, her big brown eyes blown wide.

Steb is already gone before you can access the situation, bounding over.

Poor kid. You wince, tapping your fingers against your lips. Probably just playing with the ball you see perched nearby when shoddy craftmanship led to tragedy. Still… “Jeez. Think to consider a trap? No? Just me.” You mutter.

“Just you.” The voice from behind you amusedly whispers, and then you feel the cool rim of the gun pressed against your skull.

Fear makes a mockery out of you. Your thoughts accelerate, snapping at each others heels, but you cannot think. You aren’t really the brawlers of the team. He’s the field medic, for fuck’s sake, and while you can handle yourself in a fight this is more of a Vi job. You regret mocking her cuisine choices. This is probably some kind of sick karma. Sick? You feel sick. God, your stomach is writhing, your insides eating each other up.

Steb, still blinded by his tunnel vision, hauls the tin off of the girl. His ears flick down as he peers down at the clean space beneath, clean of blood and gore. Her leg, unblemished and by all means healthy looking, curls back into her body, and then she bursts outwards like a spring, down the nearest tunnel.

Too late, he looks back at you.

“I’m sure they require you topsiders to rattle a few braincells together to wear that fancy uniform. They don’t need allll of them, do they?” The man holding the gun to your head calls out to him. Flesh drips from his arms, lanky and lean, pressing against your neck as he holds you into him. You smell the shimmer on his breath before you see his blood lined eyes.

Steb jerks forwards. Bruisingly, the gun slams into your skull. “Move and their brains go BOOM! Hands in the air. Now.” He snarls, and Steb freezes in place, slowly raising his hands. You can see him breathing, hard, heaving breaths.

More people clamour their way out of vents, behind slabs of wood. You count at least four. Shit.

Shit.

This is bad.

“Woah! Talk about dramatics, huh?” You start, and almost in shock, the man holding you to himself grip loosens. From Steb’s place, you can see the wrinkle that lines his mouth when he gets stressed creep into existence. (That’s normal to remember. You should know when your coworkers get stressed. Part of the job, and all.) He slowly shakes his head. You mouth, trust me. He shakes his head harder. “Maybe we should talk this out? Civilly, tea and biscuits? …No?”

“It stopped being civil when you went for one of mine.”

Of course that guy you beat the shit out of gave you the location of an ambush. He was all too eager to speak, and when you go poking your hand down foxholes, it’s going to get bitten off. You feel both incredibly stupid and incredibly self-satisfied, you knew it, and you went here anyways.

“One of yours? I mean, we probably didn’t mean to? It was probably a mistake—” he shoves the gun down your throat. Spittle drips down the barrel. You taste dirt and gunpowder. You taste the blood leaking from your tongue.

You taste fear.

“Well? Your bag.” He gestures loosely to Steb.

Steb locks eyes with you as he gently tugs the straps off of his back, letting the hefty bag land to the floor with a thump. Carefully, he steps back, raising his hands in the air once again.

One of the hovering goons quickly snatches it, tugging it open. Medical supplies, bottles, all-the-like clatter the ground, but she continues shifting through hastily, eyes slowly narrowing. The last of our food supplies…, you mournfully think, quickly followed by Caitlyn is going to kill us, and she’s probably right to.

“You told us there would be hex tech, you fucking liar.” She drops the bag carelessly, starting towards the man holding you. “Well, do you think I’m some sort of prophet? You knew that it was an estimate.” He snaps back, grip on you loosening, the gun shifting out of your mouth to point towards the soft flesh of your cheek, spreading out your blood clouded spit as it does.

“I think you set us the hell up. You promised we’d split the money, but where’s the money now, huh? I gotta family to feed, hired work is dropping like flies with the chem barons at each other’s throats, which means I missed on any number of begging clients for this shit.”

You get an idea.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

It’s a terrible idea.

Steb tears his gaze from the arguing pair to meet your eyes, perhaps on some precognition of the mistake you are about to make.

You wink, grab the gun pressed to your cheek and then you yank.

It comes as cleanly as expected, the man’s adrenaline rattled, drug loosened reflexes nothing for the shock you give him when you take the gun from his hands, and than run. Surprise gives you the upper hand, yells clouding your soundscape. You still manage to pick out Steb’s footsteps, clean and even behind you as you barrel down the nearest pipe.

You run harder than you’ve ever run, past graffiti, with only your breath, the calls behind you, your heartbeat and the echoes of his and your boots slamming against metal to guide you.

You turn the corner so hard you slam your side against it, feeling your already bruised cheek cry out in pain in time with your yelp, and you stumble. Steb catches your shirt and yanks you right back up, and then you’re in another wide-open space.

Your head swings around, fear hammering around your ribcage like a desperate songbird.

Steb grabs your shoulder, gesturing with his head. You follow his gaze. There’s a smaller pipe in the wall, covered by a draping of torn fabric, and you rush towards it before you have any time to think, the fabric draping over your hair, the surface cool under your fingers.

He follows, your pursuer yells barrelling into your ears as the curtain draws shut.

The space is tight, circular, not even big enough for you to stretch out an arm and not brush the opposite end. Your back is pressed flush against the concrete and plaster. Your legs cage Steb, as do his, looping over one each other, his knee bent at an angle that’s for sure going to hurt later. His arms clutch the walls of the tube, yours resting bent in your lap.

He leans down, and his fingers gently grasp that stupid beret of his and tug it down onto his lap, before he pulls his head back up, his head scraping the roof. He’s a least a head taller than Maddie, and although you’d like to think of yourself as average, you are now grateful for the height you lack.

“OVER HERE!” Did they see you? Is this it? What can you do, two against at least five or so. You mean, counting has never really been your strong suit under pressure, and who’s to tell? Are you going to die? Are you going to die, your legs pressed into his midriff?

The gold smattering across Steb’s undereyes and nose adjoins with the darker turquoise scales lining the cavities his eyeballs are strung into, carving out little gold, blue, orange stripes, like the ones on the fish you and your parents used to gawk at the aquariums had.

Are they going to cart out your body to your parents, after your fellow enforcers find you, crammed into a hole in the underground? What would you had died for?

His eyes are so blue.

He blinks, smooth, deep lapis overtaking the gleaming surface of his eyes before his eyelids do. He has a second eyelid. How did you never notice?

His lips, perpetually downturned as they are, his steady line his eyebrows carve themselves into, his perfect posture, even as you are cramped within the pipe, the smooth, angular frame of his cheekbones all of it make him look like one of those forever uninconvenienced paintings the councillors hang from their mansion walls. He looks calm. His stupid snooty resting face cannot fool you. You know he isn’t.

His lips are parted, the gap between his front teeth visible as he stares down the opening of the tunnel like a loyal family dog. His little giveaway.

Maybe his inner workings aren’t such a mystery, after all.

He makes you nervous. He makes you so nervous. He makes you into a wreck.

You think you might be in love with him.

—and your pursuers are rushing past you, all until you can’t hear their voices and you’re alive. You’re alive and you’ve never been so happy to tomorrow eat shitty Zaunite food and have Caitlyn yell at you for loosing supplies and talk and talk and talk until your throat is raw.

You don’t. Talk. You don’t talk.

He’s looking at you.

You feel like a fool.

You sit there, just looking at him too. His eyelids slip halfway, letting you count the short lashes that frame them. His expression relaxes, loosens, ever so slightly, his arms moving from the wall of the tunnel to his lap.

You could sit here with him for hours, death inches from you both, and you could be happy. You could be suspended in disbelief and plausible deniability; you could allow yourself to lie. Your heart is pounding from the adrenaline, of course. Your face is pink because of overexertion, and you kind of want to kiss him because you’ve never kissed anybody and you may as well as get it over with before you die, right?

He points to his face. You blink, and then he points to yours. You brush your finger cheeks against the flesh and feel the sting of injury, spittle and blood on your fingers. Right.

Right. He’s looking at you because you’re injured right?

Of course he is. (Disappoint is still food, and you swallow it.)

Gently, he reaches into his breast pocket, pulling out a handkerchief. Instead of sparring you and handing it to you, he merely carefully holds your head, one hand on your jaw and the other gently patting down the mess on your cheek. His head is tilted. You feel your heart slam up your throat, a throbbing, horrible pain that lets you part your lips to let the breath escape you before it can choke you.

The hand cradling your jaw moves a careful finger up to brush your lower lip.

Accident, of course. He’s not even looking at them, rather, the mess, taking his sweet time as he does, so very gentle.

You think he might be the danger, not the hell that is the pipework, nor the Grey, nor not the man with the gun

He pulls back, tucking the handkerchief back into the pocket and shallowly inclining his head towards the opening.

With a long look back at you, he crawls out of the hole first. You follow, dizzily. Ever the gentlemen, he offers you a hand as you push your way out of the hell that made you. You take it and feel incredibly guilty for doing so, stumbling to your feet.

He fastens his beret, usually a sign from you to inwardly (or outwardly) mock his silly hat, still watching you. You do not, in fact, mock him. You might be shaking, in fact, and that thought makes you hate yourself more than you could ever despise that ugly navy piece of fabric.

He frowns, and then he gestures to your mouth. You flinch without meaning too. “Huh?”

He mimes speaking, shallowly opening and then hastily closing his mouth

He's right to be concerned.

You haven’t spoken since you two trapped yourselves in the tunnel, after all.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝

Notes: Thank you for reading!! :)))) STUPID. IDIOTS IN LOVE. Him under the guise of medical assistance letting himself touch you... bro isn't slick whatsoever. If you have any ideas, be sure to drop them in my ask box, there is lack of fic on him holy hell. As a side note, we all need the comfort after season two part two holy cow…

[joaniscruzing]

echoes in the elixirs

WOOHOOOO yay this fic is finally done! i had so much fun writing this! thank you to everyone who supported the last fic i did, i was so happy to see so much interest! special shoutout to @joj0-thesimp for requesting and proofreading beforehand! per usual, requests are ALWAYS welcome! I write for jinx, vi and caitlyn, and do take smut requests.

also, i did my research on the herbs. a good amount of people predict that Jinx struggles with schizophrenia, which its symptoms can be alleviated with ginkgo. please let me know if my research is wrong, that way i can fix this :)

summary: jinx, looking rather off, enters your apothecary, to which you take care of her for the night.

warnings: mention of jinx's mental health issues, mention of seizures, lots of fluff, herbs are basically meds for jinx, jinx needs a hug, one-bed trope, cuddling

“Have a great day!” you called as you gave your product to your client. In the Undercity, every day in the apothecary was quite a busy one. Hundreds of people would file in every day, as they would trade in for your elixirs and remedies that would cure their pain and suffering, even if it was just for a while. The atmosphere was always loud and bustling, making you struggle to keep up.

However, when Jinx would arrive in your shop, things would usually calm down for the amount of time she was there. Business would slow down, and it was usually just you and her alone in the store. Or maybe it wasn’t, and you were just so enamored by Jinx to even notice. Either way, Jinx was your one time to stop and take a breather during the day, which was ironic, considering her electrifying, energetic presence. 

“So, do you have my order, sugar?” Jinx would ask when she would enter.

“Sure do! Right here,” you’d always answer. However, today, there was something different. Jinx seemed like there was some sort of hole inside her. She hadn’t shown up for a while, since Silco had died, Piltover had been attacked, and she had had to hide to stay alive.

Today, however, she entered the store, a hood over her head, and her head low. Not to your surprise, instead of greeting you with those words, she browsed the store first, looking around, and generally not communicating with anyone. Understandable. However, you saw she was shaking as if winter’s frost had bitten her, and she had been without a coat. Trying not to overthink it too much, you went on with your business, packing up and giving your orders and occasionally convincing customers to buy more. When your final order was given, you left your table to check up on Jinx.

“Hey Jinx, are you okay?”

She seemed startled by your words, as if she didn’t expect you to come up to her and ask her that. She immediately tried to leave the store, ultimately avoiding your question.

“Jinx!” you called after her, grabbing her arm. “Do you need anything?”

“Yeah,” Jinx admitted, choked up in tone, “I need a shit ton of ginkgo biloba. More than you usually give.” Your stomach drops. Fortunately, now you know exactly what’s going on, and what you can do to help her.

“Is it getting worse?” you ask, turning Jinx around, and holding her shoulder. Her face was all you needed as an answer. Tear streaks lined her face, black and mixed up with her makeup. Her fingernails were unpainted and outlined with her blood from picking at the skin around it so much. The only distinct features that stayed were her two long braids, still hanging off her head and cascading past her waist to her ankles.

“With Silco dead, I just… don’t feel important anymore. They’re getting louder. I can’t sleep, or work, or do anything, I-” Jinx divulges, her head in her hands. You remove her hands from her face and replace them with your own.

“Jinx, do you need to stay here tonight? I can make you some food, and make you a nice tea with the ginkgo, as well as some lavender to calm you down. Whatever you need.”

“How much ginkgo?”

“The usual dosage I give you. Any more could make things a lot worse. Plus, the lavender will calm you down, help you sleep.”

“How much worse? Like what, I pass out for a week or something?”

“Jinx, have you ever heard of a seizure?”

“Oh. I guess I could stay the night. It’s not like I have anything better to do at home or anything.” With that, you closed up your shop, locking the doors, and covering the windows, that way no one knew you were secretly housing Piltover’s most wanted criminal.

You took the time to make Jinx a nice meal, as you knew she already didn’t eat enough, let alone whatever her eating habits were during this tough time of hers. As the meal cooked, you also ground up some lavender and ginkgo, which you then put into a bag in order to prepare her tea. After that, you left the kitchen in the back of your shop real quick to check on Jinx.

“Shut up! She wants to help me, I know it!” you heard her shouting, pacing around the room. Before you knew what you were doing, you ran up to her and hugged her as tightly as you could, making sure she knew that you did care. You heard her breathing slow down, and her body unwind as her tense state left her.

“You good, Jinx?” you asked. She pulled away to look at you, surprised.

“Why do you even care this much?”

“Look, you’ve told me a few things about yourself here and there. And it sucks. Other than the herbs I know you need to calm down, I know you need to be taken care of right now. You need someone to be there for you. And I want to be there for you right now.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re nice to be around.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re funny, and caring, and innovative, and your presence always brightens my day.” With this, Jinx’s round, purple eyes widen.

“I brighten your day?”

“Yes, Jinx. You brighten my day. I look forward to seeing you on the days you’re to come pick up your herbs just so I can see you, even if it’s for a few minutes. Jinx, everyone here is so down to business, and you’re the one who always lingers. Well, sometimes. Other times you were afraid of getting caught for sneaking out, so you were in and out.”

Jinx hugs you this time, burying her face in your chest.

“You’re a good person, don’t ever forget that,” Jinx discloses, tightening her grip.

“Okay, hate to let you go, but I do need to check in on the food and tea.” Jinx holds on as you struggle your way to the kitchen, making sure the food didn’t burn during the moment between the two of you. Luckily, everything was ready, and in about five minutes, dinner had been served for you both. Jinx’s tea helped her greatly, calming her down. The sense of calmness in her eyes brought relief to yours, as you were glad to know that Jinx’s head would slow down for a bit. She was also happy to eat the meal you cooked, which, per your prediction, was the first proper meal she had had in a very long time. After your scrumptious meal, you both prepared for bed. However, there was one small kink in the works of your plan to take care of Jinx; there was only one bed.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” you assured, “I can sleep on the floor.”

“Are you sure? I can sleep there too,” Jinx replied. You put your foot down though, insisting that she needed a proper sleep. It truly didn’t worry you at all. You began to lay down on the ground, preparing for your sleep. Just as you were about to close your eyes, you heard Jinx’s voice from the corner.

“Could you maybe sleep in the bed with me?”

“Yeah, is everything okay?”

“I just, haven’t slept in a new place that wasn’t where I was holed up in for a long time. Plus, you’re comforting to be around.” You get up, pillows and blankets in your arms, and settle into the bed with Jinx. She clutches onto your waist, her legs wrapping around yours. It takes every fiber in you to not turn around and spoon Jinx right there and then. However, your bountiful dinner, Jinx’s tea, and the calming atmosphere put both of you right to sleep.

so. i originally was going to make this some sort of a love story, but i felt like i couldn't considering jinx's mental state in this fic. shall i draft a part 2/ time jump where they get together?

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[bwat5-blog]

A Heart Imprisoned: Vi's Time In Stillwater

**Spoilers For All Of Arcane**

Vi is all of fifteen years old, when she is kidnapped by the Sheriff of Piltover himself and thrown into the bowels of Stillwater prison. There she will spend seven years of horror, isolation, abuse, and fear. Accused of no crime, with her name not even on the record, she has no hope of escape or mercy until the naïve rookie Enforcer who will change her life comes to her cell.

What I want to try and delve into today, is the impact these seven years have on Vi as a person. Vi continues to be one of the most grossly misunderstood characters in this show. Even now I can come up with no logical explanation as to why, but that's okay. I don't think logic plays a big part in the anti-Vi crowd's day-to-day anyway. But! Still we soldier on, and hopefully by the end of this I can illuminate a tragic part of this remarkable character's story in a worthwhile way, and lend even more to the cause of helping see the humanity in her story.

Lead Up:

I have covered the events of Vi's childhood in heavy detail in other documents. So here, I will just run down a quick list for understanding.

Sees death of birth parents on bridge of progress: Age 9

Spends 6 years as part of family with Powder, Vander, Mylo and Claggor: Age 9 - Age 15

Vander, Mylo and Claggor all die violently in front of her. She barely survives brawl with more than ten armed thugs working for Silco, she is wounded during incident, she is separated from Powder in traumatic manner that leaves her ravaged by guilt.

Imprisoned for seven years until Caitlyn Kiramman frees her: Age 15 - Age 22.

To say Vi's life even before Stillwater has been harsh is a mild understatement to say the least. She begins her story in tragedy. And even though Vander and her siblings love her, the undercity is a hard and dangerous place to grow up. She is not saying things like "wanna see how that ends" to a knife wielding attacker at fifteen years of age because her life has been easy.

We also need to review a few telling things about Vi before her imprisonment to better understand the teenage girl who is sent to Stillwater.

"When people look up to you, you don't get to be selfish.. whatever happens, its on you"- This lesson of Vander's will come to haunt Vi's life for years. He gives her this speech entirely from a place of love and support, talking to her about being aware of the consequences of her decisions as the other kids look up to her. But when things go so..so wrong. Vi internalizes this to the point that she is unable to move on from the guilt of what occurred.

"I grew up knowing I'm less than them, that my place is down there. I want Powder to have more than that, and I'm willing to fight for it."- Take note of what she says. She doesn't protest that she isn't less than.. only that she wants Powder to have more. Vi tells us so early that she doesn't see more for herself. Only more for those that she loves, and that she is willing to bleed for it. And she will... over and over..

"I know you wanna hurt the topsiders for what they've done to us. But who are you willing to lose?"- Again, another of Vander's lessons that Vi tries to take to heart. it leads her to try and make the right decision to protect those she loves, and through no fault of her own ends with Vander taken, and Benzo and Grayson dead. She tried to stop fighting. Tried to lead with her heart and the world crushed her as a reward.

"You've got a good heart. Don't ever lose it. No matter how the world tries to break you"- See above.

"Take Care of Powder"- Again, this one is tough. Vander's last words to Vi are not of comfort to her, but instructing her. I am NOT bagging on Vander. Had things not gotten even worse Vi would have been the leader of their family now and Vander knew she could do it and was trying to help her be strong. Unfortunately, because things go so terribly, all it is is another source of guilt driving Vi into the dark.

Losing Powder:

Tragically, Powder in an attempt to save her families life detonates a monkey bomb that kills Mylo and Claggor, and initiates the series of events leading to Vander's death as well. All when they were so close to escape. Powder is a little girl. this is NOT her fault. And she is shocked when she comes around the corner to meet Vi's rage instead of praise...

But as I have stated. Vi was only fifteen and having been through all that she had, lashes out at her little sister. Hitting her, calling her a jinx, and aggressively grabbing her face before walking away in horror at her actions, stolen by Marcus before she can make it right.

Conclusion: So what does that all mean in a nutshell? A fifteen year old girl who has already lived a life of loss, and violence, has her entire family taken away her violently in one night, save for the little sister she feels she has betrayed. She is then thrown in a terrible, hellish prison, with the only thing to focus on being the loss of her family, Vander's lessons, and how she believes she failed him, her brothers, and most importantly, her sister.

"I spent so many nights, in that shitty prison. On the freezing floor, hungry, bloody, counting the hours. The only thing.. the only thing that kept me going was the thought of getting back to you."

In Stillwater:

Thankfully for all of us who don't hate this character for breathing, we see none of what happens to her while she is in here outright. But there are a few things we know:

She is routinely assaulted- When she and Caitlyn are speaking she says to just send in whoever is going to hurt her so she can get on with her night. The warden confirms this with absolutely zero shame. And when Caitlyn opens Vi's cell, Vi is rolling her shoulders out like she is getting ready to fight.

There is no record of her or her crimes - Marcus locked her up with no trial, no paper trail, no nothing. She would have been kept there forever. Routinely beaten and totally stripped of her identity. Gee, I wonder why she tattooed her name on her face. They tried to erase her from existence.

She isn't in solitary all the time, as she had access to the tattooed goon she keeps wrecking throughout the show- I'd say this is probably the only reason she is at least slightly functional and still able to socialize in the real world to some degree.

A Layman's Understanding Of The Impact On Her:

First and foremost lets dispense with the obvious. I am not a mental health professional of any kind. But as an adult with a basic understanding of people I feel confidant saying that seven years in a violent prison being victimized and assaulted are what leads to the guarded young woman who has turned her body into a weapon that Caitlyn Kiramman meets that day. Cut off from any kindness, or love, or understanding Vi has hardened herself to the outside world because the last time she tried to do otherwise, her entire life was taken from her. And I am not going for the pity points or for dramatics. But she was fifteen... I'm going to guess something akin to her crying for someone to help her, or for her sister and than being viciously beaten is not outside of the realm of possibility. Her entire life has taught her over and over that the only thing she has to offer is her ability to do violence. An article from the University Of Santa Cruz a few years ago gives us more trustworthy information than my blathering:

"many prisoners "believe that unless an inmate can convincingly project an image that conveys the potential for violence, he is likely to be dominated and exploited throughout the duration of his sentence."

"prisoners may come to think of themselves as "the kind of person" who deserves only the degradation and stigma to which they have been subjected while incarcerated."

"For some prisoners, incarceration is so stark and psychologically painful that it represents a form of traumatic stress severe enough to produce post-traumatic stress reactions once released."

The need to keep up walls and hide their vulnerability, the hidden inner belief they are not worth any better, and deep seated trauma even manifesting as PTSD. Sound familiar? Not to mention the fact that is all started for her when she was fifteen and in the wake of a terrible loss.

I have seen many people lambasting Vi over her inability to cope with change or see that her sister has changed. Let me ask you folks a question. You see your entire family die in front of you, you are almost killed, you get thrown in a horrific and violent prison for no reason holding on to the hope of your last surviving family member, and then you get out and the sweet little girl you were ripped away from is a MURDERING. MENTALLY ILL. TERRORIST (Don't yell at me Jinx fans I'm just proving a point). How well do you think your going to cope?

This is just a drop in the bucket and absolutely a layman trying to learn a-little about how something so terrible would impact someone's emotional and mental health. But it was worth exploring. Like the grouchy broken record I am I have continued to proselytize to all of you regarding the humanity at the core of Arcane being its true heart. So the misunderstanding of perhaps the most human character in the show, someone who wants so badly to love, be loved, and to stand for those she cares for, well... Suffice it to say, I will keep playing this song for as long as I need to.

As always thank you for reading! Keep standing up for stories that matter. See ya next time.

[brattyfics]

Swampbound VI

For hours, Adla and Terry scoured every inch of the old house—digging through dusty boxes and creaky drawers, searching for the elusive book Terry insisted was there. Each uncovered item, every drawer opened, peeled back layers of a life she thought she understood. She couldn’t grasp why this book was so important, or what secrets it held, but Terry wasn’t giving much away.

"I'll know it when I see it," he kept muttering, his voice low and distant, like he was chasing ghosts only he could see.

“This don’t make a lick of sense,” she complained, surveying the chaos they’d created, the neat house now littered with overturned furniture and scattered papers. “My daddy was always a straight-laced man. Didn’t have time for no magic, no amulets, none of that mess. It’s not the man I knew.” She spoke with conviction, but the doubt was creeping in.

Terry, hunched over an old trunk, slammed its lid shut with a sigh. “Sayin’ that every five minutes ain’t gonna make it show up any quicker,” he muttered, frustration creeping into his voice but trying to keep it in check.

“No one's makin' you stay, Terry. You can go if you need to,” Adla said, her tone firm but not harsh, hands resting on her hips as her frustration simmered beneath the surface.

Terry paused, the heat in his voice fading. “I’m just worried about my cousin, alright? You gotta understand—I’m on edge.”

Adla could see it—just how much his cousin meant to him. Blood wasn’t the only thing that bound them; there was something deeper, a connection that, once lost, left scars that never truly healed.

“I get it,” she admitted softly, her anger dissipating.

She’d spent a year trying to bury her grief—moonshine, Jesse, keeping herself too busy to feel. But now, everything felt raw again. She missed her daddy fiercely, and the mess they were digging into only made that ache worse.

“I thought I knew him. Now... I’m not sure of anything anymore.”

Terry glanced up, his eyes carrying an edge of understanding. “Sometimes, we don’t know the people we love as well as we think.” Terry cast a sharp glance at the spot where he’d dropped an unconscious Jesse earlier, tension lingering in the thick, sticky air. Adla’s brow furrowed, suspicion flickering. “Are we still talkin’ about my daddy?”

Terry lifted his hands in mock surrender, but his eyes remained steady, almost too knowing. “Take it how you want.” There was something in the way he looked at her, as if he could see the secrets she hadn’t even admitted to herself.

She didn’t like it, that feeling of being exposed. Wanting to shift the focus, she asked, “Tell me more about Mike.”

Terry hesitated, like he was weighing whether to open that door. Then, finally, he spoke. “What do you wanna know?”

Adla’s fingers grazed the edges of an old photo she’d been staring at. “I know what he looks like. Burne showed me a sketch earlier. There was one of you, too.”

She traced the familiar lines of a picture of herself as a little girl, grinning ear to ear while struggling to hold up a fish too big for her tiny hands. Her daddy’s scrawled handwriting on the back read, Addy’s first fish.

“What was he like when he was little?”

Terry didn’t miss a beat. “Annoyin’,” he said with a deep chuckle. “That boy followed me everywhere. Always on my heels, tryin’ to do whatever I was doin’. Drove me crazy.” His laughter faded, turning softer. “Eventually, I figured out he was my best friend, whether I liked it or not—so I stopped fightin’ it.”

His smile reached his eyes, sincere in a way she hadn’t gotten to see yet. It was beautiful. “Yeah? What kinda trouble did y’all get into together?” she teased, her teeth flashing in a playful grin.

Terry was one of the finest men she’d ever laid eyes on, and from what she remembered, Mike wasn’t far behind. There had to have been plenty of girls flockin’ to them. But Terry’s answer carried a weight she hadn’t expected.

“Most of the trouble came from what we are,” he said, his tone shifting to something more serious. “Our daddies and uncles kept us close, didn’t want us gettin’ caught up with the wrong folks.”

It clicked for Adla then—the reason Terry and Mike were here. Burne wasn’t just some passing trouble.

“What you mean, ‘people like Burne’? You talkin' about white folks? The police?”

Terry’s expression hardened. “Police, hunters���ain't much different. Our ancestors shifted to survive; theirs survived retribution by huntin’ us. That hate runs deep, passed down just like everything else."

Adla could feel the tension rising and she wasn’t about to dig any deeper into that wound. Not yet. “So, you gonna tell me ‘bout this family heirloom now? Or maybe this book we’re never gonna find?” she pressed, trying to steer the conversation back to the present.

"You don’t give up easily, do you?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Terry’s grin was grim. “That necklace. It’s a lunar chain—a leash, for lack of a better word. Keeps us wolves in check. Wild wolves? That’s a disaster waitin’ to happen, even I can admit that.”

Adla raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile playing on her lips. “You don’t say.”

Terry laughed, a rich, genuine sound. “Yeah, I reckon I deserve that.”

She smirked. “You deserve more than that, I reckon.” She began ticking off his offenses on her fingers. “Property damage, breakin’ and enterin’, that little hostage stunt earlier… And now here I am, diggin’ through these dusty closets and messin’ with my allergies. All on account of you."

Terry smiled, knowing she was just messin’ with him. Still, he felt a twinge of guilt for turnin’ her world upside down. “What’s it gonna take to make it right?”

“You could do somethin' for me…” Terry set aside what he was doing and focused his attention on her. “…I need you to tell me the truth about Jesse.”

"It's best you hear it from him."

"I'm asking you, though," She pressed, but Terry shook his head. "I know you know what he is. It's written all over your face. I saw what he did earlier. Just tell me the truth."

“Ain't my place to talk about another man's business.”

Terry might not want to say anything, but she couldn’t just sit on the sidelines.

She thought about Jesse, his easy charm, his dimples, and the way he always seemed to know how to talk his way out of anything. But he was still Jesse—her best friend, the closest thing she had to family now. She owed it to herself—and to Jesse—to have a conversation, at the very least.

"Fine," she muttered, bending to rummage through another bag. "I’ll talk to him."

He watched her movements, noting how she tossed the bag aside with a bit more force than necessary and huffed under her breath. He stepped up behind her, resting his hands on her hips.

“Tell me what you remember about that necklace.”

She remembered the luster of the chain, a strange shimmer that must’ve been the magic woven into it. “It’s silver, always catching the light just right,” she mused, straightening up a little, hyper-aware of how warm he felt, standing so close behind her. “There’s symbols etched on the pendant.”

She turned her head slightly, glancing over her shoulder to meet his gaze. Her fingers instinctively traced the crescent moon and star tattooed on his arm, a gesture that lingered longer than she intended. “Your family’s crest, I reckon.”

Terry watched her, absorbing every word as if they were a balm for some deep-seated ache within him.

"I ain't never seen it myself. My daddy, and his daddy before him, they hadn't either. I always wondered what it looked like in person. Hoped I'd get to hold it in my own hands one day."

“You will,” she said, a surprising certainty in her voice. She caught glimpses of it—glinting in the soft light of a cramped room with concrete walls. Terry was there, Jesse too, but then it all faded to nothing. She was too scared to speak about it—the images swirling in her mind. Instead, she reached for Terry’s hand and held it in her own. “Having it—or even just seeing it—must feel like holding a piece of your history right in your hands.”

“Ain’t nothin’ more important than knowin’ where you come from,” he said, locking eyes with her, a strange intensity anchoring them both in the moment.

The weight of two restless nights hung over her; a yawn slipped from her lips, exhaustion pulling at her like a heavy quilt. If she wasn’t careful, she might entertain the ridiculous notion of curling up next to Terry Richmond. They were both aching for connection, and she could feel that energy stirring between them.

As the first rays of sunlight peaked over the horizon, her eyes burned with fatigue. “I’m 'bout brew some coffee. You want a cup?” she asked, her voice a soft murmur against the stillness.

“Nah,” he said, though he looked just as worn as she felt. Restlessness clung to him like a second skin, determination driving him on. “I’ll just keep lookin’ if that’s alright with you.”

“Go ahead,” she said, understanding his urgency. If she could’ve saved her father, there wasn’t anything she wouldn’t have done.

Adla paused to collect her thoughts as the coffee brewed. Even with Terry in the next room, his presence seemed to fill the whole house. She couldn’t shake the feeling of what it’d be like when she was alone again.

Pushing away from the counter after a few sips, she decided to check the loft. It was a cramped space she hadn’t touched in years, but with everything else in the house turned upside down and nothing to show for it, it wouldn’t hurt to take a look.

“I’m heading up there,” she called to Terry, nodding toward the ceiling as she passed the bedroom. Climbing the creaky ladder, she braced herself for whatever might be hidden in the dusty corners of the old house.

The summer heat clung to her skin, thick and suffocating, as she pushed aside boxes. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she felt an inner urge driving her forward, like a faint whisper nudging her to keep searching.

As she lifted the lid of another box, the familiar scent of aged paper and old wood enveloped her. Beneath yellowed newspaper clippings and faded family photos lay a worn, leather-bound book, its cracked cover and frayed edges revealing the touch of countless hands. She brushed the dust away with the back of her hand. It was heavier than it appeared, as if it contained more than just paper.

Hesitating for a moment, she slowly opened the book, feeling an invisible thread weave her past and present together. A page slipped loose from the worn book and fell into her lap. It was written in her father’s familiar hand, the strokes bold and deliberate.

To protect what’s left of our family, I had no choice. It’s a betrayal to the shifters, but I have to protect you from Burne. It may be selfish, but it’s necessary. You are supposed to be here, baby girl. When you’re ready, you can change things. I know you can.

Adla’s body trembled as she read on, skimming the words that would change everything.

She glanced back at the book, her sweaty palms barely managing to hold on. Symbols were inked into the margins of the book, odd drawings that seemed to pulse with a life of their own. Protection spells, moon phase rituals, and herbal remedies littered the pages. She continued flipping through the pages, her heart racing in her chest with each turn.

Pictures began swirling in her mind like leaves caught in a restless wind—she saw her father, warning her to be careful. Telling her that they’d see each other again one day—but he prayed it wouldn’t be soon. Jesse’s grandmother, with her hushed tones, whispering about the old ways and the forgotten magic that coursed through their town like a river, powerful and unforgiving.

It all felt too surreal, like trying to grasp something just beyond her reach, but what she was witnessing was beyond anything she could have ever imagined.

And then, there she was—her mother. Not the hazy, distant figure she’d clung to for comfort, but vibrant and alive in her memory, a beautiful vision that made Adla’s heart ache. Warm and inviting, like the embrace she’d yearned for all her life.

“Trust yourself, Adla,” she seemed to whisper. “Trust your instincts.”

Others came before her, people Adla had never known but whose voices echoed softly in her heart, offering wisdom in hushed tones. One woman, strikingly similar in looks, leaned in close, sharing a secret—something Adla desperately needed to hear. It was a truth she couldn’t reveal to Terry just yet—not with the stakes so high and their path forward clouded in uncertainty. Not when her own mind was still tangled up in it.

The truth hit her like a tidal wave: her family wasn’t just ordinary folk. Her father—he wasn’t the simple, practical man he pretended to be. Tears welled in her eyes as her vision blurred; he had known all along, carrying that heavy burden in silence.

A low creak pulled her from her reverie. Terry stood at the top of the loft stairs, his expression taut with tension. “You found it.” His voice was quiet, eyes drawn to the book cradled in her hands.

“My daddy gave the Chief the lunar chain to keep me safe. He threatened my daddy, sayin’ he knew he had it and better hand it over, or I’d be the one payin’ the price. We’ve got until the full moon to save Mike, or he won’t make it.”

Chapter 7.

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[fgfirenation]

Aaaand I decided to explain myself over my last post from yesterday ( or early morning ), because I just can.

I'm not gonna @ the person, who made me grit my teeth from anger because while I'm a jackass, I'm not a complete one.

For now.

So let me set it straight for you all whining Arena people out there :

While I'm not familiar with Arena, I did research most of the lore with my bff.

And you know what?...

We prefer Journey's lore more than Arena's by a lot.

Now before you pull out your swords and guns at me, and start bitching, let me explain why :

I see that y'all are so attached to your Arena lore, but... COME ON!

That fucking thing is already 5-6 years old! A lot of the lore is ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE! ( Don't @ me. )

Like, grow tf up already! It was about time your lore from Arena had to change.

While it does seem really interesting, I almost had an aneurysm, while trying to understand it ( It's probably just me, but again, who tf knows- ).

A lot of lore things are probably so outdated, that it makes me want to shoot myself without a second thought.

I fully support Lilith Games for changing the lore, because they made it easier for the new players to consume it without somebody having FNAF lore insanity war flashbacks. ( Like me- ) And it feels like a breath of fresh air.

Worse changes have been made before by the writers. ( Gaius from Dislyte. I'm not forgiving you for this, Lilith Games. )

Also fuck you to whoever said that Lyca is a Mary-Sue! ( Yes, I'm holding a grudge now. What about it? )

Lyca is the last person I would ever dare to call a goddamn Mary-Sue. I've been in the Creepypasta fandom for already a fucking decade and when I tell you I have seen all sorts of Mary- and Gary-Sues from there FRONT TO BACK WITH ALL FLAVOURS OF MARY-SUE IN THE EXISTENCE OF HUMANITY!

If you want to call her this, go first to the Creepypasta fandom and witness wtf we were forced to see for years, and then come back to bitch at me. ( Actually don't, because I don't give a shit. Ok, maybe I do, because I'm a dick- )

Also fuck you for calling Lorsan annoying! This mf is the most ADHD little shit-coded thing with Berial, that I have ever seen in my entire life. So move on! He's absolutely adored by a good huge portion of the Journey players. Including me. I dare say he's a lot more boring in Arena than he'll ever be in Journey. I'll never manage to see him as a monk-type and calm character. My brain is short-circuiting, while trying to imagine this.

Also, I'm gonna be completely honest with you, I absolutely love Waves of Intrigue and Song of Strife. I absolutely adore Soren as a character and the ' Jinx and Vi from Arcane ' war flashbacks I got from Sonja and Nara-

Now for the endgame of my angry rant...

Did you really think that your fucking beloved Arena lore would stay the same?

Did y'all for real think it'll stay the same? Well, guess what :

If you did, then I'm sorry ( not sorry ) to tell you whining folks, THAT IT AIN'T GONNA STAY THE SAME!

You needed to see this coming from 2000 miles away, yet you somehow missed it entirely and of course it'll hit you in the face full force!

At this point, Idk if you expect absolute perfection from Lilith, good accurate lore, shitfarts or what else-not.

You change your opinions faster than a League of Legends player. I can't believe that I got angry over what's supposed to be a MOBILE GATCHA GAME! You managed to raise the rage bar for me more than Megamind 2!

I'm sorry to say this ( Everybody can express their opinions, duh- ), but you make absolutely some of the sorriest of excuses I've ever seen.

And I'm gonna quote the YouTuber Schaffrillas Productions for this :

' To the point that I think F-tier doesn't do this justice!

THIS SHIT BELONGS IN G-TIER! '

CONGRATULATIONS, YA ARENA LORE FOLKS!

And I'm gonna end it here before these people come after me and try to behead me.

What a fantastic way to come back to Tumblr after a year, right?

Bye!

[writingroom21]

Sweet Escape

Pairing: Rafe x single mom reader

Summary: Moving to Kildare with your best friend and daughter was the perfect move. The little island is perfect, the people are nice, and you are finally at peace. Then Rafe comes in with his perfect smile and charm, sweeping you off your feet. The only issue is if you are ready to let someone else in.

Warnings: 18+, mentions of abuse(Theo being physical with reader), mentions of cheating(Not from reader or Rafe), making out, grinding, (Let me know if I missed any)

Wc: 6.8K

Chapter Five: I'm Here

“Let’s just take a moment to relax and take a deep breath.” Rafe is rubbing your back trying to help you calm down. “Relax! He’s trying to take my baby away and you want me to relax?” You croak out in between sobs, slapping his hand away from you. He Raises his hands, eyes widening as he looks to Jo for help.

“Babes no one is telling you to not take it seriously. We just need to make sure you are okay too. Just take a deep breath.” Jo’s reasoning only makes it worse. Another sob rips through you as you clutch your chest. “I can’t breathe. He can’t be doing this to me.”

You look up at her and then look at Rafe. Your tear stricken face breaks their hearts. “He can’t take her away from me.” Rafe takes a deep breath before wrapping his arms around you. “We won’t let him. I’ll call my lawyer and see what he can do.” Jo comes to kneel down before you. 

“Plus he hasn’t been in her life at all until this point. What dumbass would give him full custody?” You don’t listen to what they are saying. Well you are but none of it matters right now. All your brain can focus on is the words on the document in front of you. 

This is an official summons. Theodore Mitch Wixx is petitioning for full custody over Violet Dunn. You will have 14 days to respond to the summons before proceedings occur. If not heard from within the time frame it will be seen as an agreement to the terms listed below.

He doesn’t even know her middle name. Somehow he got all the paperwork through without even knowing her middle name. “What’s funny?” You didn’t even realize that you had started laughing but you did. Now you can't stop it. “He doesn’t even know her fucking middle name and he thinks he should have full custody.” Rafe and Jo share concerning looks. She nods for him to scout out of the way so he can let her take his place.

Rafe lets her comfort you while he makes a quick call to his lawyer. He seething with anger if he’s being honest. It was one thing for him to think it was easy to weasel his way in. But to try to take Vi away from you is crazy. When he gets back to the living room you are now curled in a blanket with a cup of tea in your hands. Jo passes him on her way to her room, leaning towards him to whisper something. “Just gave her some chamomile tea. Think she just wants you right now.”

He nods at her and makes his way to the spot next to you. You watch him with a calm look as he places your legs on his lap, rubbing your calves. “What did he say?” The voice that hits his ears is not the same one he’s been listening to for the past hours. It’s small and afraid. “Said we can go meet him on Monday. His wife is a family lawyer so she’s going to help us. But he thinks we got a good case.”

There he goes saying we again as if it's easy. “You don’t have to do all of this. You can back out anytime, I wouldn’t judge you.” Rafe has half a mind to be offended, you would think that of him. But you were just told your shitty ex is trying to take your kid away. He understands you are vulnerable and probably just thinking the worst. To be fair he’s kind of doing the same thing right now.

“I’ll keep saying it until you believe me. I’m not leaving. I care about you and Vi, I’ll protect the both of you.” Tears well in your eyes again. “What if he does win? What if I never see her again?” Rafe takes the mug and puts it on the ground before pulling you into a hug. “He would have to pry her from my cold dead body before he could take her.

You giggle at his absurdity. “I’m serious. I won’t let him hurt the two of you.” You squeeze him tightly, grateful to have him here. “Thank you.” Rfe buries his face in your shoulder. “Nothing to thank me for.”

The rest of the weekend was like a slow action movie where you are just waiting to be over. Rafe had cuddled with you all of Friday night, falling asleep on your tiny bed with you practically on top of him. You didn’t know when he had moved yall but was glad you didn’t have a crick from sleeping on the old couch. Vi had been excited to see that Rafe was still there the next day when she woke up.

It should have warmed your heart but the worry kept nagging at you. It was the only thing you could focus on. You had decided to stay home, wanting to watch movies with her just to be close. It became a whole house thing which you were happy for because you don’t think you would be able to keep your emotions in check with just you and her. Rafe had even invited Wheeziewho then told Sarah.

Both girls could sense something off with you and Rafe wouldn’t give anything away. Only telling them you just needed the company. Which seemed to be the right choice because they got a few smiles even a laugh out of you throughout the day. As Saturday night was getting late the girls decided to go home. “Rafe are you going to be home?” Rafe freezes at Wheezie’s question looking at you to see what you wanted.

But you don’t say or show him anything. He takes a wild gamble and makes a decision. “I’m going to stay. Text or call if you need anything okay.” He misses the smiles on your and Jo’s face as he looks at his younger sister. “Okay. But I swear if Rose makes me do another late night girl talk you are compensating me.” He laughs and agrees. “Deal.”

The rest of the night goes by the same as the previous day. You fell asleep and woke up in his arms which was actually nice. Only if your brain would let you focus on the feeling instead of the scenarios it’s creating. You seemed like a shell of yourself. You moved like a robot only really showing emotions with Vi. No one says anything, not knowing the turmoil you are going through.

Rafe worrily chews on his nails, afraid that his presence is too much. Then you reach out for his hand to hold and things feel good. In all honesty the whole house is shaken up about the situation. Vi is the light of the house and losing her is a scary thought for everyone. June had some choice words when she was debriefed on Saturday. Let’s just say it’s a good thing she has a bad hip or else she might have found Theo by now.

Everyone is just concerned with what will be said tomorrow. The thought of that scumbag being anywhere near that precious baby is rage inducing. The only person who seems to not notice the tension is Vi herself. Or maybe she did and that’s why she’s being extra cute today. Either way it’s a good distraction from what’s going on.

As the clock kept ticking closer to night, the nerves seemed to rise with the stars. “Hey I should probably get back home. I’ll be here exactly at eight to bring you. Make sure you bring the papers.” Rafe is putting his shoes on at the edge of your bed as Vi tries to climb on his back. “Do you think you could stay again tonight?” He automatically stops tying his laces and looks back at you. 

“Of course. Let me just call Wheeze to let her know.” Wait Wheezie, what were you thinking? “No no. Nevermind you should probably get back. You’ve been here all weekend and should spend the night at home with her.” Rafe grabs Vi’s arms as he stands up, giving her a piggyback ride as he walks to your side. Right before he sits down he pulls her over his shoulder, laughing as she giggles while being tossed around.

He sits down with her on his lap now. “Um this maybe a little out of line for me but… you could come stay with me. We can set Vi up in the room across from mine or even in my bed, it's big enough.” You think about it for a second. “You’ve been staying here for the past two days. It’s not out of line suggesting we go to yours.” You play with her hair as you speak, kissing her forehead as you get up. “I’m going to pack our things.”

You’ve seen his house before but somehow it still shocks you. Sometimes you forget that he has money. Rafe leads you up the stairs holding a sleeping Vi. He said it's because he doesn’t want you to hurt yourself but you feel like he wants to be close to her too. Instead of bringing her to the guest bedroom like you thought he was doing, Rafe actually takes her to his room. 

The only time you’ve been in it is when you were waiting for dinner that Rose insisted you came to. It looks clean and not lived in which could be due to the maids. There weren’t even any decorations which made you feel sad. It’s like when you go to tour a house and everything looks picture perfect.

Rafe places her down on the bed, rearranging some pillows to create a fort around her. You place your overnight bag on the desk chair getting your pj’s out and toiletry bag. “You can go get changed first if you want. I can stay with her to make sure she doesn’t fall off the bed.” When you don’t respond he turns to look at you and sees you staring at the picture frame on his desk.

“This is new.” Is all you say. Rafe blushes and rubs the back of his neck. “I thought it was a nice picture. Wanted to liven up the room.” Staring back at you is the picture you had taken at the zoo. It shows the three of you all sporting face paint Vi had begged for. 

“Mommy Waint!” Vi shouted tugging at your arm. You had just got done looking at the elephants and were now walking around. She tugs on your arm again pointing as she says “Waint!” You and Rafe both look at the way she’s pointing to see an older lady painting a little boy's face. 

Rafe crouches down. “Want to get face paint?” Vi nods her head excitedly screaming “YES!” You laugh as she tugs your hand for you to follow. Turning your head to Rafe you shake it. “When she doesn’t want to take it off you are the one dealing with it.” He didn’t know he was signing up for a job when he suggested it but her smile made it worth it.

She squirmed the whole time the lady painted a butterfly on her face. Jumping up and down when she saw it. “Ra twurn.” Rafe looked at the little girl and then at you. Yeah he definitely didn’t sign up to get his face painted. “How ‘bout mom gets something?” He suggests but Vi shakes her head and points at him. “Ra.”

Reluctantly he sits down in front of the lady, shyly smiling at her as she stares at him. “Um I’ll get the tiger?” He looks at Vi and she nods her head in approval. You giggle as you watch Rafe get his face painted and you aren’t the only one. People kept looking over to watch this six foot two guy get painted as a tiger.

Vi’s smile when he was done was so bright and of course you got dragged in. You decided to let the two of them pick what you get. That’s how you ended up with a fox on your face. After you three headed over to a pretzel stand. As you all pick at it you wipe out your phone.

You hold it up catching the three of you. “Say cheese.” Vi turns her head smiling widely at the camera. Rafe moves his face closer so the two of you are blocking her head in. The phone makes a fluttering noise as you take the picture. You look at it and smile, hearting it to save for later.

The memory warms your heart. You kiss Rafe’s cheek pulling his hand to drag him to the bathroom. “Come on. I need a shower and you need to show me how to use your fancy one. Plus she’ll be fine.” He gladly follows along not seeing any reason to argue. 

That night the two of you sandwich Vi in the middle of the bed. Your fingers are running up and down on her arms. Rafe is rubbing small circles on her back as he stares at you. “We’ll be okay. Everything is going to be fine tomorrow.” You believe him. Even if you are scared you know deep down everything is going to be okay.

✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶

“Hi I’m Carl and this is my wife Diane.” You shake his hand before shaking hers. Rafe greets them like old friends but if you think about it they might be. The four of you settle down at a table. Diane takes out a notepad and pen, clicking it so she can write. “Why don’t you tell me what happened from the start Ms. Dunn.”

Taking a deep breath you begin to spew everything. How you two were dating but then you fell pregnant. From there how Theo dumped you when he found out and how you had to raise Vi on your own. But now he’s back wanting full custody of a kid he doesn’t know or wanted. Rafe’s hand holds yours as you tell her the story. 

You shake with rage as you hear yourself talk. HIs audacity is honestly baffling. “How was your relationship before the pregnancy?” The room gets silent as they wait for you to answer the question. Rafe turns his body to look at you, placing his left arm on the table. “Babe?” Blankly you look at him, tears pooling in your as you do. “Sweetie, you can tell me what happened.”

Diane was soft spoken making you feel more comfortable. Clearing your throat, you fix your posture and take a deep breath. “In the beginning it was fine. He would always see how I was doing or surprising me. Um but after like a year he just got mean.” You take a sip of water to swallow the lump in your throat. 

“What do you mean by that?” She’s writing down in her pad. “A little after our first anniversary I found out he was talking to another girl. After I confronted him he got a little physical.” The sound of your voice is brittle as if it is breaking with every word. “What do you define as a little bit physical?”

“He pushed me against the wall and slapped me. He yelled at me for a while after and then apologized. Said me accusing him of something so bad made him snap.” The only sound in the room was the sound of the collective breathing and pen scratching paper. “It didn’t take long after for him to start putting me down. Saying I was stupid if I got a slightly lower grade than him. If I didn’t wear makeup he would tell me how ugly I was and said I embarrassed him.”

Rafe’s hand squeezes yours. He’s trying hard to stay calm right now. A tear falls down your cheek and he wipes it away. “How long did that last?” You laugh at the answer. “The rest of the relationship. I was stupid enough to think he actually did love me and that's why he said all of it.” Diane stops writing and looks you in the eyes.

“It doesn’t make you stupid hoping someone cares for you. He was your boyfriend and it’s not your fault he took advantage of that.” You shake your head, wiping the tears that are falling. “When I found out I was pregnant I thought he would change. For some reason I had hoped things would be normal just so Vi would have a normal life.”

“I’ve seen hundreds of women in your same position. Everyone of them is a survivor just like you. Don’t let him make you feel crazy for wanting basic respect.” She reaches over and takes a hold of your hand that’s around the cup. She rubs her thumb over your knuckles. “What you went through and how you felt is real. You had no control over it. None of it was your fault.”

You look at her for a moment, letting the tears fall. The only people who believed you were Jo and her family. When you had told your parents they had blamed you. “What is so wrong with you that he could do that? Why are you trying to destroy that poor boy's life?” “Sometimes a man needs things and you can’t fault him for that. Grow up and accept the fact you weren’t good enough.” Their voices still ring loud and clear in your ears.

“He would hit me when he got made. One time he caught me talking to a class about a project and spent the whole car ride berating me. Honestly, I thought he was going to crash the car just to prove a point.”  

“Why would you think that?” The way Rafe’s fingers are gripping yours is causing you to lose circulation. “He was driving crazy, started to speed and swerved. I had to beg him not to do anything just for him to stop.” Rafe grabs a tissue and wipes more tears off your face. He grabs a few more and hands them to you. 

You take them and blot away any excess moisture. “I’m sorry if this question seems insensitive but it’s important I ask. Do you have any documentation of all of this? Text messages, audios, pictures, or diaries?” The question isn’t one you were prepared for. After your parents didn’t believe you, the thought of telling anyone else was pointless.  

You did write in your diary but that has to be somewhere in New York. “I used to write in my diary but I stopped when Vi was born. I think I still have our old messages but I would have to check.” You are sniffling throughout the whole time you talk. It feels refreshing telling someone else about it and not having to keep everything in. Jo is the only person who really knew what your relationship was like.

Everyone else got a watered down version where he’s just a dick for leaving you pregnant. Not like you believe anyone would believe you anyway. “Okay good. Find the diary and bring it in and look for those messages. I’m going to send over an appeal and we will work out the case once it’s approved. But from what you said I think we got a solid case.”

As she’s packing up her things you remembered something. “He sprained my wrist once. I had to go to the emergency room because I thought it was broken.” Diane pauses her movements. “Do you still have the papers from that visit?” You straighten in the chair. “I have an electronic copy.” She sits back down whipping out a tiny notepad. “How did it happen?”

“We were hanging out with some friends and one of them asked me what he got me for my birthday. I said nothing and he got upset that I told them the truth. He made us leave early and dragged me out to the car. He told me I embarrassed him and I deserved nothing because that's what I was. I tried to just open the car door to get in and he slammed it shut right on my wrist.”

Diane takes a deep breath and writes it all down. “If you could send me a copy of those papers as well that would be perfect.” She packs her things and walks to your side of the table. Bending down she gives you a hug. “You didn’t deserve any of that.” She pulls away giving you a warm smile before walking out with Carl who gives you a nod on the way out. 

You and Rafe still sit there for a second soaking it all in. Silently he gets up still holding your hand and waits for you to stand before walking. The walk to the car seemed shorter than it was before. You get to the passenger side door when Rafe pulls you back, spinning you around so he can hug you. He squeezes you tight, wrapping himself around you. Your arms wrap around his waist holding on for dear life. 

“You’re everything. I’m sorry no one has seen how special you are. But I see you.” You grip him tighter as you try not to cry. “I’m not perfect but you make me want to be. You deserve nothing less than perfection because that’s what you are.” Tears stain his shirt as you both stand in the parking lot. You pull your head back to look up at him. “I don’t want to be perfect. I just want you.”

He takes an arm away, strips the heat with it. His hand cups your face as he leans in. He kisses you deeply, conveying his emotions through the action. Disconnecting, he looks you in the eyes and smiles.

“You have me.”

After you had gotten back home that day you called Jo’s mom. You asked her if she would be willing to go through the old things you left in the attic. Once you explained the situation to her she was more than willing. After hanging up you and Rafe tackled trying to go through the leftover boxes to see if it was in there. When you both found nothing it switched to downloading the old text messages you shared.

It took the rest of the afternoon to download everything and send them over along with the ER papers. The two of you didn’t really talk about what you had mentioned. You know that at some point you will need to talk, but this doesn’t seem like the right moment. Dinner time comes and everyone sits at the table to eat. Rafe had taken Wheezie and Rose to dinner so it was just the girls at home.

“How did it go today?” Jo drinks some water to alleviate the dryness in her throat. You swallow the food you had been chewing. “Um, I think it went good. I told her about how he just left and now he’s back.” You don’t want to bring up the other topics because you know she will go into a rant about it.

She doesn’t mean any harm and you know that. But you hate bringing up that time of your life. You already dealt with it all when you went to therapy after having postpartum. It was all hashed out and you want to leave it that way. If you keep talking about it you know old wounds will open up.

The conversation dulls and the only sound comes from the scraping of cutlery on plates. Towards the end June gets up and gives you a hug. “They would be idiots to believe that dumb fucker.” You can’t help but to laugh. She’s always been foul mouthed even since you were a kid. “Thank you Juney.” 

Jo cleans up the plates as you start on the dishes piled in the sink. As you are scrubbing a plate the doorbell rings. “Got it!” Jo yells. You keep washing the dishes trying to entertain Vi at the same time. She squeals as the water you flick at her hits her forehead. Footsteps are heard walking up the hall. You turn to the kitchen door to see Rafe.

“Hey. What are you doing here?��� You’re confused, you thought Rafe was going to stay at home. Looking down you can see that he has a small duffel with him. “Jo and I talked, we think it’s best if you have a distraction. Diane still needs to draft an appeal which then has to be approved. It could take a few days so I want to take you away.” He drops his bag and walks over to you, picking up Vi on his way.

“I have the shop.” He smiles and gives you a kiss, wrapping his free arm around you. “Already thought of that. Jo said she could look after it or if you do want to work…” He pulls out a singular key, showing it to you. “I got the keys to the little beach house Rose just got. It has a private beach and like no neighbors.” He leans down and pecks your cheek then your neck. 

“Just you, Vi and I.” You pull back smiling at him. “What would you do when Vi and I are at the shop?” Taking that as a yes to the beach house, he drags you to your room. He plops himself down on the bed, watching as you pack your things. “I’d go with the two of you. I took the time off of work.”

You stop packing and look at him. He’s playing with Vi, making her giggle every time he tickles her. “Won’t they need you there?” A nagging feeling is creeping up. You can’t be the reason he misses work. “I own the company along with Rose. She doesn’t care that I’m taking some time off. I think she actually likes it better since it's her way all the time.”

He looks up at you and smiles. “Plus I want to be there for you. This is a lot to handle on your own. You don’t have to go through it by yourself.” You walk over to him, crawling on the bed to be next to him. “I don’t know what I did to find you but I’m glad I did. I” Rafe waits patiently for you to finish. The way your eyes flicker between his, he thinks he knows what it is. “I’m really lucky to have such a great boyfriend.” He’s slightly disappointed that’s all you had to say.

He shakes off that feeling and gives you a kiss. “Come on. We have to finish packing so we can get there fast. There’s a hot tub I want us to try.” You laugh at him and get up. “Yes sir.”

✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶

“You’re cutting the stems too short. Try measuring them in the vase.” Rafe stares at you blankly as he holds a pair of scissors in his hand. “I thought you had to cut the ends off.” You smile as you take a flower to show him. You demonstrate how to measure it according to the vase and cut the stem. Taking the flower out of his hand you put it in the vase along with yours.

“You see how the one I cut is out of the vase while yours is stuck in the neck? Flowers come in all sizes and sometimes if you eyeball it they come out too short.” You take his flower out and bring it over to a small vase and add it. “This way all the flowers align to the vase.” Rafe can’t help but be in awe of you. You talk about the flowers as if they are a form of art. Well he guesses that they are. 

“Okay boss, what else should I know?” He’s been calling you that for the past two days. It started on Tuesday. You had woken up to Rafe gently shaking you holding a cup of coffee out to you. “Morning boss, I’m ready for work.” He had talked your ear off asking questions on what you will have him do. You had to explain to him that you couldn’t say anything until you went to the shop.

Once the three of you got there Vi started to wander the shop as you set your bags down. “What should I do?” You looked over orders and inventory before telling him he can rearrange some displays so you can gather flowers to make more.

It took him a while to weed out any displays with wilting flowers and rearrange the good ones. But by the end he was done. Which only made him want to keep doing other stuff to help you out.

On Wednesday he saved the boss' comments until he was helping out a customer. You honestly thought he quit with it but guess not. An older lady was asking him to help her find a nice bouquet for her daughter in law. He didn’t know what the flowers even looked like and was getting nervous. “Um I would have to ask my boss I’ll be right back.” His nervous expression was cute.

From then on he kept referring to you as boss, even when at home. Well the little beach house. As the two of you were cooking dinner last night he brought it up again. 

“Where do you want the pepper boss?” You roll your eyes at him. “Are you really going to keep calling me that?” He wraps his arms around you from the back. Feather light kisses are placed on your neck. “It should be chef right since we are in the kitchen?” You groan at him. You knew watching The Bear was a bad idea.

He lets go of you, going to get Violet to parade her around the kitchen. “Vi say ‘Yes chef’ to mommy.” The little girl giggles as he tickles her stomach. “Yes chef.” The way she says it is so adorable. Rafe throws her in the air and catches her, swaying her from side to side in the air. 

“Go play in the living room. The two of you are stressing me out.” You joke as you add the peppers Rafe cut to the pan to saute. He pulls her down, carrying her over his shoulder as he walks to you. Vi laughs as she wiggles against his back. Rafe places a hand behind your neck forcing you to look at him, leaning down he kisses you.

“Yes chef.”

Which leads you to know. 

“You can take those out to the front. I’m going to grab the next batch of flowers for some orders that we can start on.” Rafe nods as he takes the vase and walks out of the attached room. You turn to Vi and tickle her with a left over flower. “Come on sweet girl. Let's go get some flowers.” As you and Vi grab flowers the front door bell rings, alerting you that someone walked in. 

Normally you would go out there but with Rafe being here you can take a step back. You’re cutting some stems when he walks back in. He looks back out front before looking at you. “Man, that girl was weird.” You shoot him a look.

“Rafe don’t say that.” He makes his way over looking at a slip and finding the bundle you set aside for it. “Babe, I'm telling you she’s weird. Kept asking if I was the only one working.” You look over at him, finding it slightly odd. “Maybe she’s not comfortable around guys?” Trying to give her the benefit of doubt you make up an excuse. 

“When I told her the boss was in the back she kept asking what your name was. I told her if she wanted flowers she could get them but if not to kick it.” Sighing you put your scissors down. “Baby next time just get me. Can’t just tell people to kick it.” He leans over the table grabbing one of your hands. “Sorry but I still stand by what I said.”

You shake your head and laugh. “Get back to the order.” Rafe just smirks as you try to ignore him. Your eyes keep looking over at him just to see that he was doing the same. The rest of the day was nice. You are all caught up on orders and sold a good amount today. Overall it was a great day.

The three of you had gotten home an hour ago. As soon as you stepped foot in the house Vi was begging to go swimming. Rafe offered to take her if you made dinner or he could make it if you wanted to go in the water. You jumped at the opportunity to not be in the sea so you opted for dinner.

Rafe and Vi came in soaked when you said food was ready. She showed you some of the rocks that she collected. After dinner she was so tired that it made the bedtime routine even longer. All she wanted to do was sleep so she kept protesting. By the time she was in bed it was already eight thirty. Rafe closes the door to her room as you both sneak out. “Let's go in the hot tub.” He whispers.

Since you got here every night ends with the two of you in there. You went to get changed and met him outside. Rafe was already in the water when you exited the house. His head rests back against the edge as the water laps around him. His eyes open to watch you get in, his hands find your waist to pull you closer. “Hi.”

You giggle and lean in closer. “Hi.” Rafe moves a piece of hair behind your ear and kisses you. The two of you kiss for a bit, enjoying the way your lips move together. The kiss heats up a little. His lips leave your, kissing their way to your neck before lightly sucking on it. You lean your head to the side giving him better access as your hip rolls over his. 

Rafe moans into your neck before gripping your hair, maneuvering your head so he can kiss you again. It goes like this for a while longer, the two of you getting lost in each other. After some time he pulls away from you. The whole relationship till this point has been just kissing and little make outs.

At this moment things are going the furthest they have been. You’re still rolling your hips with your eyes closed. Rafe watches with his mouth open, staring at how pretty you look. He brings a hand up to cup your cheek, caressing his thumb on your bottom lip. His eyes widen when you stick your tongue out to lick it and give it a kiss.

You open your eyes to look him in the eyes only for yours to fall shut when an orgasim courses through you. “Oh fuck.” Rafe moans out gripping your hips trying hard not to cum. You slump over resting your head on his shoulder. “That’s the hottest fucking thing I’ve ver seen.”

You can still feel that he’s hard but he’s not making any moves. Rafe catches your internal freak out and kisses you. “I’m not in any rush. Let me take care of you.” You play with his hair and move closer to him. “Okay.” He wraps his arms around your waist holding you to him. It’s silent as you two sit there.

“I’m going to miss having you around at the shop when you go back to work. It’s been nice having another person there even better that it was you.” He snuggles his head in the crock of your neck, pecking the skin. “I’m going to miss you too. It’s going to be weird not being around you and Vi for so long.” You laugh and pull back to look at him. The water splashes around from your sudden movement. 

“Ray, you're acting like you aren’t going to see us ever again.” He shrugs, smirking at you. “Sue me for missing my girls.” You smile down at him, cupping his checks to give him a kiss. “If you’re feeling lonely, maybe Wheezie can go and help you out. She’s out of school for the summer now so she has the time.” You think about it for a moment. It’s kind of perfect, the shop has been doing well. The country club has even been regularly buying big orders from you.

“Sounds like a deal.” Your hands find his hands, pulling them away from your body allowing you to get up. “Let’s go. We have to go to the craft store so I can get more chalk pens in the morning. So we gotta get up earlier.”

He followed you, drying off and waiting his turn in the shower. He may have taken longer in the shower taking care of a little problem. By the time he went to lay in bed you were already asleep. Quietly he gets into bed next to you, looking at the baby cam on the nightstand. Seeing that Vi is sleeping soundly he lays down wrapping his arm around you.

“Do you think the letters look good?” You turn the chalkboard so Rafe can see it. He squints to look at the fourth rendition of the same sign. Every single one looks the same but you insist that there was something wrong. “I think it’s the best one. What do you think Vi?” The little girl looks up and nods her head in approval before playing on her own board.

You smile and turn it back around, beaming at your work. “I’m going to put it in the front window.” As you are about to turn around the front door opens. “Hi how can we hel-” You turn around to see Theo standing there. “What are you doing here?” 

“You told them I was abusive. Are you that fucking stupid?” Rafe comes to stand by you, slightly pushing you to back away. “Don’t talk to her like that.” Theo looks at Rafe, narrowing his eyes. “You know I’m getting really sick and tired of you always getting in the middle. Back the fuck off.” Rafe stands a bit taller looking down at him. “No, I won't back off. I see you for the deadbeat that you are. I won’t let you hurt them.”

“You are really believing her right now. She’s just upset I left when she got pregnant. I never laid a finger on her.” Rafe rolls his eyes and pulls out his phone. “Get out before I call the cops.” Theo pauses for a second trying to call his bluff. But once he saw Rafe press a number he went to back away. “You really think he cares about you, Prim? You’re probably just one of his new challenges. The single mom with baggage, the perfect sucker.”

Rafe steps forward ready to grab him by his shirt and punch him. But he stopped himself plus the door opened. A woman walks in and makes her way next to Theo, grabbing his hand. “What are you doing here?” Rafe asked her. You look around him and catch his eyes. “You know her?”

Rafe nods. “That’s the customer I was telling you about.” She smiles at you but you can tell it’s fake. “Hi I’m Delia. Theo’s fiance.” You and Rafe are shocked, looking at each other as if saying ‘what the fuck’. Delia then tries to walk around you towards Vi. “You must be Violet. I'm so excited to meet you.” You block her from going further.

“Please don’t go near my child.” She looks at you and scuffs. “I’m going to be her step-mom. She needs to get used to me. Plus when we get custody she won’t be scared.” You feel as if you were slapped. How dare she have so much entitlement to a kid that’s not hers. “Yeah no you need to leave. You don’t need to meet my kid.”

“God, are you still trying to keep him away from his own kid? You are lucky he didn’t get a lawyer involved sooner.” You look at her dumbfounded. “Excuse me?” She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. Rafe doesn’t even get what is happening. Where is she getting that idea from? “If I hadn’t forced him to get a lawyer involved, who knows how long this would have gone on. You’re evil.”

“I never once ke-” “Del let’s go. It’s no use arguing with you. I told you coming here was a bad idea, she never listens.” You and Rafe watch as they walk out not saying a word. The door closes and the shop is now empty. The air conditioner can be heard running with a faint hum. The two of you turned to each other saying the same thing.

“What the fuck just happened?”

@haruvalentine4321 @namelesslosers @ijustwanttoreadlols @drewsphswife @corpsebridenightamare @actorslover @juniperbaies @fionaswifeyy @dark1paradise @stoned-writer @notafairyteen let me know if you want to be added

[itzleafy]

Idk if anyone has noticed this yet (probably) but I’ll still say it.

So ARCANE S1 and TRAILER OF S2 spoilers

I think everyone noticed how Jinx eyes switched from blue to pink, obviously because of shimmer but also representing how she’s taking away all of powder.

Which means that blue kinda represents goodness as we can know powder wanted to help and she was an innocent child. Also blue is the color of, yep you guessed it, the Hextech.

And what does Hextech meant to represent?

Maybe not goodness but definitely hope, even if it falls into the WRONG HANDS IT CAN TURN INTO something worse…starting to get my point?

You see the Hextech is BLUE and seems like this color in Arcane represents Hope, hope to help others, wanting to BE BETTER (progression).

Now powder left all of that at the end of S2 she intended as a child to be better, strong like her sister, and help others, help steal etc.

Well we know how that ended.

But that hope was destroyed when she turned into Jinx, sure, at first there was A LITTLE bit of Hope inside of her, after all she had that HOPE that Vi would come back and love her. Even if the color wasn’t as strong as when she was a child

She still had that part of her that wanted to help, specially silco (even if she was doing the wrong thing) she was helping. She was still blue.

Blue means hope

But when powder died and all was left was jinx…then what?

Is that the end? No, not at all.

So now understanding the color blue; what does the PINK mean?

We all know that pink is the color of the shimmer, the color that jinx turned into.

Well here it goes.

Has I’ve said before, pink is the color of shimmer.

The color that represents that, it would be WAY too easy to guess that

If blue is good, then pink is bad.

WRONG.

This is not simply good or bad. This is beyond that.

Shimmer is a drug that makes people feel strong, powerful, feared.

If we look back into Vi (who can be thought as Pink) we can see that she has all this characteristics.

She is strong, she’s respected by her brothers and sister wich make her very powerful and she is feared; even if it’s all in a innocent way (you know because they’re child’s and it’s nothing too serious) it is the beginning of it, that’s why Vander warned Vi about it

“Whatever happened to them it’s on you”

Strength and power is something you can have and become the greatest. But it can also bring pain.

Lesson learned? Vander learned that at the very beginning of arcane, he was powerful yes, but he stopped to care for others and that brought pain.

That’s why he tried to teach vi that she should always have her heart with her.

“You’ve got a good heart, don’t ever loose it”

Pink means strength

So even after everything she stayed herself.

Until powder died.

Powder turned into strength, strength that couldn’t be controlled because of her madness. JINX IS PINK

You can see in the trailer such incredible shots and details I’ve noticed.

Now we know hes hopeful, he always has been maybe too much for his own good

This shot it’s probably at the beginning, watching the counselor get k!lled by jinx.

Jinx is pink, her bombs don’t have blue on them anymore, it’s pink.

Cupcake is blue, she was hopeful she could become great, but now she’s hopeful she’ll make things right, different povs but there’s still hope, but will she stay hopeful for ever?

Finally, slowly you can see Vi is starting to turn blue, but why is she turning blue? She lost every hope there was to get powder back? Well maybe she’s not hopeful to get her sister back.

But she’s starting to fight for the right thing, she’s strong, but she’s slowly beginning to have hope for what she’s fighting for. She’s progressing

After all

She finally got the name right.

But was it willingly?

Yep that’s all thanks for reading

Don’t let this flop tumblr pkeaseeee TT

Also heads on Vi wearing those googles…didn’t Jinx owned them? For finding them vi would’ve need to be in a CERTAIN place.

[iminaworldofpureimagination]

the more I think about it the more I think the complaint of Vi in season 2 is coming from people who don't understand what its like to spiral into a pit of despair with no motivation to do anything meaniful. And her getting into fights via wrestling type situation does fit her character as we see in season 1 her getting into well.. a lot of fights.. mainly with seveika.. Vi lost Powder in a sense that she went from a innocent kid to a murderer who blew up a building so her joining the side to take care of what she blames herself for makes sense. I dont' think people get the GUILT she feels for all the death Jinx/Powder caused..

I just think her losing Jinx/Powder/ Caitlyn Thats two people she failed took a lot out of her in her mind she had nothing to fight for. Vi felt like she was nothing and had nothing if there was no one to protect .. And is grieving the lost of her sister and girlfriend and has to live with all the pain caused by caused by Jinx her baby sister who became a murderor and a kidnapper.. and a Terrorist.. all in less than a week and I see critics bascially going I hate tha Vi didnt save Jinx its ooc for her personality not be a 100 percent on jinx. But her goal was to save POWDER not Jinx. to her Jinx and Powder were not the same. Powder was her baby sister who wouldnt harm anyone.. onpurpose.. Jinx killed enforcers/firelights/blew up a bulding without any regrets.. that includes Zaun People.. that I noticed people Forget about.

vi spent what 8 years in prison with her goal being find Powder only to find out she became a murderor .. saw her kidnap a girl she had developed romantic feelings for .. and saw her blow up a building. in less than a WEEK.. and people will still go Vi sh ould have saved Jinx/ should focus on only jinx.. why does she care about her girlfirend all she should care about is jinx.. ignoring how much of a mental toll everything jinx did must have taken on her.

Then of course she can't kill jinx i couldn't kill my sib so i get that.. and caitlyn dumps her after being told she's acting like Jinx the very person who killed Caitlyns mother.. im not going to say she was right to hit vi.. it just seems that people take the whole thing out of context acting like she beat the crap out of her when that was acutally Ekko who beat the crap out of Jinx because Jinx killed his FRIENDS..

I just think people expect a lot of vi .. like her siste is a murderor.. its not up to Vi to save her it shouldn't be up to Vi to save her. the duty of a sibling isn't to save them its to be there for them yes but not when they're out there commiting murders.

And People forget this all happens in like less than a WEEK.. She's in her 20s and still hasn't discoverd show she is either.. 8 years in prison goes to find Powder/ Powder is a murderor/ her new crush gets kidnapped her crush mom is killed by Powder /along with other people.. .. She can't save Jinx she can't help Caitlyn kill Jinx because sibling love does run deep.. I'dknow.. so her wandering aimlessly without a purpose.. and im sure feeling very deprssed makes a lot of sense. Esp for those of us with Depression if you ever had a spiral and felt like you were sinking into a pit. I imagine for Vi its a 100 times worse . cause agian her sib is a murderor and her girlfriend dumped her.. rather callously. anyway i guess im just tired of criticism being. I'm not happy the character.. didn't do what I wanted them to do. as a lot of criticism for vi i see mainly revolves around its bad she got with cait shes toxic she needs to go after jinx.. jinx who is a murderor that kidnapped her sister and her sorta/girlfriend.. that doesn't scream toxic codependcy if vis whole purpose should be to save her sister.

I will say I am bummed Jinx was Tamed down in season 2.. Iwas looking forward to her being like her game character I thought thats were the end of season 1 was leading.. but.. nope. ohwell.

anyway that's all i gotta say about vi.. as someone who suffers depression i think her arc did make sense and wish that we got to see more of it outside of 2 minutes butohwell.

and honestly her and cait having sex in prison was the best sex scene i've seen in my 30 years of watching tv.. .. and was a long time coming since cait/vi had sexual chemistry since the episode they first met.. i dont belive vi knew jinx was suicidal vi was focused on okay im saving my sister.. then bam sister locks her behind bars.. she's feeling upset/emotional/is hurting and caitlyn goes into to be i knew you do this in a way that supports Vis choice. she supported Vis choice.. to let jinx go. Vi is overwhelemed with emotion and lunges at caitlyn,.. maybe some people hate it takes place in prison .. how it happens. makes sense to me. the idea that vi needs to be a character revoloving only on jinx is kinda maddening.

and I like Jinx btw.. preferred her in s1 tho..

[minzart]

You know what? I'm gonna complain it is good to put it out with a semi(hopefuly)understandable way see if anyone else had the same thoughts or something

So yeah arcane season 2 ramblings bellow

I knew it would be a hard task to deliver after such a good season 1, like it had everything ending with a perfect cicle, the first step was the last

We got themes and coherent actions with it, the characters are Charaters as much as embodiments of the narrative and it's mensage

And it was all a tragedy in the making

I though they could keep the loop, at the end I never expected we to get close to see Zaun and Piltover being split. Never, they are sisters cities one hurting the other more and more as progress comes and their bridge burns and grows bigger and bigger but never splitting, a never ending cicle(to a never ending game)

It works in the first season and I wished they kept it running in the second,but nooo let's pick up an already solved tread and force it to work again.

What the fuck am I talking about? well, many things, one specifically is

The sisters arc.

I can't be the only who thought what season 1 was trying to say with the tea scene was that she IS Powder AND Jinx, and what she actually needed was for both sides(Vi and Silco) to shut the fuck up and let her BE HERSELF. At that time I though if we ever get a season two she would realize what happened that night, not as choosing a side as she puts but as a birth of something new, while VI could also realize her sister has changed and she is not dead but become worse, or spiral into a worse state of mind ignoring who her sister is and insisting she is dead and wtv that thing Jinx is is not her sister anymore(and that's only bc at that time i discovered her lol conterpart is an enforcer so i though hey Vi's gonna have a villain arc and people are gonna acknowledge she also has insues to work with right :D )

But what season 2 did was forget continuity they are trying to GO BACK and this time the narrative will repeat itself beat by beat but worse.

In season 2 they revived Vander(and that IS vander with a warwick skin), only to beat the man to death 3 times over and over, and worse, don't revive his fucking theme with it making him a plot device more than the character he is, and let's pull Silco right along with him and change all that mattered before with these 2 too why not.

And don't come telling me "but they foreshadowed warwick in season 1" I KNOW AND I WANTED TO SEE WOLFMAN AS DID EVERYBODY. But what I did not want was it to be Vander AGAIN. I wanted them to lean into the amnesiac aspect of his story, Warwick WAS a man before, he was someone ELSE, but now He is OTHER, he is not Vander and would never be, and THAT would be the link to conclude the sisters arc.

The direction I though they would go was to cherish the past, learn from it, and see that you did changed and yet not, you are you in all your gloric and flaws, the child you once were is still in you as is the adult you have become with. It. there.

You can not run from your past, you can not break off of it, else you are not yourself anymore.

In a way VI would trace Vander's footsteps but worse, I though she would lean in the protecting the status quo without thinking about it, yes she is from the undercuts but she has been 7 years in jail and the city changed without her in it, she wants to go back so bad, that she can't see she can't. There is no way she could go back, she is not Vander, and yes his ideas are alive but the time they worked not, a new twist has to be given to it, adapt it to the new present, a thing she can't do alone

And as paralels Jinx, would have traced Silco and not liked it one bit, I never got the vibe that she would by the end fight for a cause, she is no leader, and she is no dog either, she is chaos itself right? She works for herself at the end of the day, I hoped we would see she try and abandon that path altogether without noticing she would be the reverse.

Silco was a dictator in the making with the speech of freedom as his weapon, Vander was a keeper of the status quo in the name of "peace", read stability. Jinx would be an arsonist that accidentally spiked the dream of revolution, of freedom, in the people around her while VI would want to go back to "status quo" by the means of violence.

You see how that's an interesting talk? Yes the past was safety, and yet it wasn't perfect, and yes freedom is beautiful but to get there it will be gory. There will be loss to both mentalities.

It would what? Exactly, keep the goddamn theme of season 1. Maybe not perfectly, I'm no professional, but I can dream.

"But jinx did become a simble of revolution!" NO she did not, it was cute that Isha transformed her image in a simble of hope and that itself works someway for the theme they tried to do for her as just Poweder 2.0, bc that's all she is, the child self, nothing more. But that is not what I'd call satisfying for Jinx character from season 1. Added to that, what revolution? if by the end both sides made up by the power of third party enemy?

The Warwick variable would come to contrast both as a new character, maybe a victim of the status quo Vi is adhering and a psicological contrast to Jinx change.

As a side not LET SILCO DIE. LET HIM FUCKING DIE AND STAY DEAD LIKE VANDER IS. I don't want a backstory,nor flashback, nor memory trip, the past of these two was excellent as ambiguous, they are the mentors, the fathers, the side characters, ambiguity WORKS IN THEIR FAVOR, legends of their own making

What i asked of this arc was a paralel scene with Jinx and Silco to VI and Vander back in season 1, y'know? The one VI is knocked down and Vander's ghost basically comes back to give her a BRIEF pep talk that MATCHES HER OWN MINDSET AND HIS, BC THEY EMBODY THE SAME PARALEL? YEAH. AND I WAS HAPPY that Silco got his ghost moment, but... he would not... forgive, season 1 would not and Jinx in that mind state,nor before, would too, these two have one thing in comum and is SPITE, they are cocrooch that refuses to die despite being repeatedly beaten out of your home, wish that was the focus of these two in that paralel scene, but well... with the theme they choose he had to be changed

Mel Medarda what did they do to you my girl you did not deserve this

Now, to be fair her arc could be fixed with more episodes or just one more season just establish something that wasn't there is season 1, her magic powers. But in my rant I'm trying to see if there is just another way for her to go that could tecnicaly and not need another season

Arcane was fast peaced but at least it had a focus.

Season 1 focused on the sisters more than up top, everyone there, including Mel were more world building devices than characters to me, and season 2 changed the focus characters to Viktor and Jayce but forgot to bring with them their support characters wich explains to me why I feel so lost to half the casts motives and place in the story.

In the beggining I loved that we focused on her opposing her mother in every decision, and gave a paralel to her own path in season 1, when Ambesa says let's use hextech I wanted the show to scream the same scens as Mel had when she convinced the council to use it too.

I wanted the show to pick these people who says "wow Mel is so evillll she manipulates peopleeeee my poor babyyyy jayce noooo my himbo sonnn" by the throat and say "you want to see manipulation? I'l fucking show you it" and presents Ambesa as the foil.

Focus on a political intrigue to these two, buy time for wtv is happening with Viktor, Caitlyn, Vi and Jinx to cook, Ambesa wants an invasion, Mel doesn't.

Maybe the seeds for magical powers were there in season 1, Mels paintings(magic and art thend to be used interchangeably in some medias i think), Ambesa's music video, "why did you come here mother?", but it would need more time to flourish in a satisfactory way, or at least better presented.

"Oh your powers are growing faster bc the arcane is awaken" BULLSHIT I TELL YOU.

Mel is strong in her words, love a woman who can kick ass but love one that can make myself bend to her will with one word even more.

Actualy on second though you know what would made her arc suck less? IF THEY DIDN'T FRIDGED HER FOR HALF OF IT. If the black rose was not meant to be the big bad at the end then what the fuck was the point of taking her out of the picture(would it be too hard to make her magical powers manifest in the scene she was kidnapped insted of... kidnaping. Girl was playing detective already)? The only way I can think it was a good idea is bc they didn't want to make her and Caitlyn fight for the sake of a final show down with Ambesa, bc there is no way these two would be in speaking terms if they interacted during Caits dictatorship

Speaking of dictatorship, for more that I love it I also loath it bc they just didn't show the during reing enough and I blame they taking Mel down way too early(I love the path of anger and grief Caitlyn went). Imagine a world were down there it's an emotional conflict leaded by Vi-Warwick-Jinx and up there a political intrigue of Mel-Caitlyn-Ambesa. That ends with peace below and an explosion(fascist reing start) up there? A, say it with me, INVERSION OF SEASON 1 ENDING :) wouldn't that be NEAT?!

Maybe even end it right there and let it ambiguous. There is no need for season 3 if they don't can't do it, the open ending is the strong forte of this series for me especificaly.

But what about the rest? What about

Jayce, Viktor and Ekko

Gonna be honest, they arc is so over the place with who they were in season 1 that they fell completely unrelated to anything in there anymore.

Season 2 changed focus from the sisters to Jayce and Viktor, everything plot related was through them, the problem is, their choices and... themes? Were not previously established by season 1 and season 2 took both out of the picture and put doppelganger in their places.

For more that I love Jesus viktor... now that I saw the fans that know him as The Machine Herald complain about his arc I know what was bugging me with it too.

He didn't choose any of what happened to him, something that is and was, a big thing to him back in season 1 and his lol conterpart. You know, Sky was never a character, she was a warning to Viktor remember? She died, consumed by the hexcore because of his medling, and he still continued to use it, wasn't that supposed to be the warning sigh to us that Viktor was going to spiral? And yet...

By the end Jayce and Viktor are foils, even if the season presents literaly 3 versions of them in one season bc they didn't transitioned their chance as smoothly as I'd like. Bc for more gay and amazing that ending was... Jayce is not the same character he was when he shot Viktor, absolutely not, you are telling me, that he was given a mission to show Viktor the future, and his response was to kill him instead of try to allude to the end? That the Jayce that shot Viktor in the chest was the same Jayce that understood he had to hug the divine manifestation lf his partner in the Astral plane to show the future and esencialy die with him by the end?

Love how Ekko swinged by the end and bough enough time for that finale he literaly lived up to his expectations as the boy savior, but lord I wanted him to be so much more coherent, the narrative yanked him out of the leadership role he had in season 1 and made him a by stander and last minute deus ex maquina. HE SHOULD BE THE ONE TO ANSWER VI/Vander AND Silco/Jinx THEMES, HE HAS WAS THE THRID FACTION THE BETTER FUTURE, THE SIDE WE AS THE AUDIENCE SHOULD CHEER THE MOST AS THE NEW FUTURE FOR ZAUN. NOT THE LETS GET TOGHETER AS ONE TO DEFEND OUR CITY FROM THE BIG BAD NATION OVER SEAS- FUCK THAT.

Him and Sevika should join forces, their arc should have been bring down town togheter and focus on a better future, heal the now, even if both have diferent visions of a future they should agree to clean Zaun even if in diferent direction. I love him with Heimendinher, bc it could be amazing to see a founder of Zaun learn with the next generation of leadership, let's bring the spark of empathy back to the old man, lets show what community is again for him, a tall about how disconnected he had become from what were supposed to be his people,let him give propositions and Ekko oppose them but with compromises, a paralel to Jayce in that way too.

How Jayce was the pupil that went into politics and become corrupt, Ekko is the one who is a community leader and won't be corrupt, how Heimendinher was too cautious and practical for both parties he will be opposed but know to better compromise, learn again why humanity moves fast, we do not have eternity. Where Jayce failed Ekko will thrive, and it was to make that old man learn emphaty again.

So maybe the focus of these 3 should be the future isn't?

Viktor, by his own hands, would want a evolution were no weakness are present, and by weakness I mean emotion bc... the focus of his path in season 1 was to live, he wanted to be alive to make a name for himself, to be remembered, so maybe with his close dance with death with that missile it pushes him to realize humanity never changes and even when everything could end up right and peaceful, our personal vendetta would detriment any chance of progress, hence he starts a way to fix it.

Instead of... internalized ableism, is it a interesting talk? Absolutely but you can't deny it was poorly set up, he was dieing and he wanted to not be... I'm sorry but "your imperfection is beautiful" was done better with Entrapta and Hordak from reboot Shera

Bc by lol lore that was the conflict between him and Jayce right? Viktor wanted a hive mind Jayce didn't, it was a conscious choice from both parties, so there we have a divorce arc, and sexual tension with the enemie.

So yeah

These are my thoughts mixed with what I wish it was and complains... I have no idea if I make sense or not

But hey if you got to this end thanks for reading, and hope it resonated a bit with you, if not, well shit bro I did say I was complaining.

[sweetbillwriting]

The Key To His Heart - VI

Characters: AU Bill Skarsgård where his life changes in 2013 and later 2019.

Setting: L.A, 2024 but in an alternative universe with Bill having a completely different life.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Cat Stevens' voice filled the atelier that day. He had been singing there for several months now, but Sienna didn't get tired of it. For the moment her son's favorite, and he sat among a mountain of cushions on the floor with his own drawing pad while Sienna painted on a big canvas on the white wall. You could only see the sketch of a horse’s face at that moment, but it would be full of color when it was done. She smiled at her son; she still had a bad conscience for leaving him and thought to herself she would never do it again, especially not for something as fruitless as a TV show. Most of the time it was just about waiting, hoping to be chosen to get invited for a date instead of just walking around the neighborhood on one more walk. The man didn't even seem to be interested in her and had other women he would rather put energy on. She wasn't that desperate; she had been single a long time and knew she didn't need a man to be happy, especially not a man who might not even like her.

She decided quite quickly to go home after her son had said he missed her on the phone. He rarely said such things, so the four words, “I miss you, mommy”, made her heart ache. It wasn't worth it. She packed her bag and contacted the production.

She spoke with a female producer who looked at her disappointedly.

“You understand you can't come back? This is your only chance?” She explained. Sienna nodded. The producer made it sound like a life changing opportunity, but Sienna didn't see it like that at all. Bill was handsome and sweet but too distant to be interesting. He never gave her any real attention.

“Do you meet men like Bill often?” Asked the producer. Sienna didn't understand the question and shrugged her shoulders.

“Living like this? Having this lifestyle? You're a painter, right?”

Sienna looked down at her hands. She knew what the producer tried to imply. Bill had money, she didn't. However, that was never the reason why she had wanted to be a part of the show, but when the producer said it like that, she still felt dirty.

“I know what I want. I want to go home to my son.”

The producer sighed and crossed her arms. She stood in deep thought for a while, while Sienna played with a rhinestone S keyring on her suitcase.

“Okay, but it's best if you leave in silence. We don't want a scene,” said the producer. Sienna furrowed her brows and looked uncomfortably at her.

"But I want to tell Bill myself? I think he deserves that.”

The producer gave her a tired look.

“It's better if he doesn't know.”

Sienna got a bad feeling in her stomach. Why didn't they want him to know? The only reason she could come up with was that they wanted to do it as a part of the show. She would be the runaway bitch, and he would be humiliated.

“How will you tell him?”

The producer smiled condescendingly towards her. Sienna noticed how the woman's way towards her had changed quickly after she had told her she would want to leave; this was not her behavior earlier.

“I can't talk about the production with you, but I want you to remember you're under contract, and leaving like this will maybe affect people's views of you, even in your normal life.”

Was that a threat? Sienna swallowed hard. They would really make her seem like the bitch, but right then and there she felt her conscience weigh heavy for Bill. Leaving was her choice, not his; still, they would humiliate him on international TV.

“Will it affect Bill?”

“I don't think you really care. But if you stay, we will not need to do a thing about this.”

Sienna scoffed and looked out from the window. The woman had threatened her twice now, but she had been through worse things in her life, so she didn't care.

“I just want to go home to my son.” She reiterated, and after that, the producer finally understood she would leave whatever she said.

×××

Of course Sienna felt her body ache from her bad conscience. She couldn't just leave Bill to his destiny. Even if she didn't really know him, she knew he wasn't worth that. She needed to talk to him. If he talked with his producer friend, maybe he could stop the humiliation from happening.

She knew his bedroom was a safe zone from cameras, so she needed to just creep by the cameramen from her bedroom up to his. It wouldn't be easy, but she could try. So she did. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest while creeping up the stairs that it felt like she was doing something criminal. Now he just needed to be there; otherwise, she wouldn't be able to tell him.

She didn't expect him to be so comfortable with letting her in, and she didn't expect how easy it was for her to step into his private place. She felt a warm presence from him when she walked into his room, and it felt familiar and safe. She hadn't felt that from him earlier, but they had never really been alone before. She saw another side of him, but that wouldn't change her mind.

It felt good to let him know what was happening behind his back. It felt good going home, but something also made her sad. She would never know who Bill was for real, behind the polished exterior. She could see a glimpse of it there, when they were alone, and could feel her cheeks warm by thinking back on his sensitive eyes.

×××

It was a phone number she didn't recognize that called her, and with discomfort, she answered and sat down in her son’s pillow mountain.

“Hi, Sienna. This is Herman Larson, one of the producers. We've met a few times.”

Sienna sighed. Would they threaten her again? Were they so desperate?

“How are you?” Herman asked politely, but Sienna didn't have energy for the small talk.

“Fine. What can I help you with?”

Herman laughed uncomfortably in her ear. Sienna didn't get a rude vibe from him like she had gotten from the woman, but he was slow with saying what he wanted, which was also annoying.

“Well, we want to bring someone back to the show, and Bill wants it to be you.”

Sienna felt something crawl around her stomach when Herman said Bill’s name. It was he who wanted her back. But it could also be a lie, a new trick to make her come back, to make the show interesting.

“No, thank you,” she said fast and looked down at her son's sketch, which was mostly just lines and circles.

“Bill wants to talk to you. Just a video chat. He really wants you to come back.”

“Why? He doesn't even know me?”

“To be honest, I don't know. He is just really certain of this.”

Sienna thought about it, feeling the snake in her stomach make it both hurt and tickle.

“I can talk to him, but I will not come back.”

×××

“I know, I know…” she said when she saw Bill's smiling face on the screen. It was obvious he had also felt something that short moment they had in his bedroom. It was like a clue into what they could have, and now they sat there, both of them with butterflies in their stomachs. Sienna covered her red cheeks with her hands while she looked at Bill's big eyes, even more magnetic because of the softly lit room he was in. Both of them sat in beds, but Sienna could see it wasn't his own. This had a beige headboard, while he had a black one.

“Ehm… I want you to come back? I really want to get to know you, Sienna. I don't know how to say it, but I think you can feel it too?”

He said it cryptically because it felt so naked to already say words like those he was thinking. Sienna sighed a little to herself and looked towards her son's bedroom. She didn't have her own bedroom; she slept in the living room, but she liked that so she could keep an eye on her son’s room.

“I can't…” She looked away, and it made Bill become nervous at once. He really thought her blushed cheeks and smile were an indication of what she felt, but clearly not.

“Please, I mean, I get that this shitshow is bullshit and awful. I feel that too. A TV show is not the way to date, but... I just want to get to know you, Sienna. I haven't been able to think straight since the last time we saw each other.”

Sienna looked at him now. He looked desperate and nervous. She felt bad for him, but also for herself. She wanted to get to know him but be a part of that circus again… No.

“I'm sorry, Bill.”

He looked down disappointed at the keyboard, and she could see him dusting away something from it while he nodded a little.

“Fuck… I should really not have judged you for that shoe chaff!” He said it half jokingly. Sienna laughed.

“It hurt like hell! I still have a wound!” She said and even lifted her foot against the camera, trying to show him her heel.

“I don't see,” said Bill amused.

"Yes, you do! It's just there! I will have it for the rest of my life!”

Bill laughed at her while she continued to try to show him the heel of her foot. The screen became too dark when she put her foot so close to the camera, but he wouldn't say that.

“Yeah, yeah, I see! Shit, I'm sorry for not taking it more seriously; I didn't know you were fifteen minutes from an amputation.” He smirked, and Sienna lowered her foot so she could see him. She smiled a bit amused but pretended to be insulted. Bill couldn't stop smiling big, and she started to laugh when she saw his silly expression. Both of them took a deep breath and a little pause before Bill started to talk again.

“I am really sorry I didn't give you the attention you deserved when you were here…”

“It's okay,” she smiled a little and fixed her hair. “I wasn't that easy either. I thought I would be able to open up with you, but with all the girls... I couldn't… And the production wanted to paint me up as a victim, and I refused to do that, and then... I just felt really uncomfortable.”

Bill looked at her seriously, moving his laptop a bit.

“Victim?”

“Yeah… Because I'm a single mom to a boy with autism. I didn't want to exploit him like that, and instead I decided to not mention it at all and... Well, I couldn't talk. I couldn't let you in.”

Bill didn't say anything for a few seconds, and it made Sienna nervous at once. She had met guys before who had dumped her because of her son. She lowered her gaze, preparing herself for Bill's rejection.

“How old is your son?” he asked with a kind smile, and Sienna looked up at him again with big eyes.

“He's five. He is the kindest baby,” she said with a proud smile, and Bill smiled big too. He knew it was a lot of work with autistic children, but instead of thinking about negative things, he was just impressed by her. She was alone in it and still didn't make herself, or her son, into victims.

“You're 28, right? So the both of us became parents when we were 23.”

“Yeah! It's far too young to be honest!” The both of them laughed.

“It is, but we made it work, right?”

“We did.” They smiled at each other knowingly. One more thing that made their connection feel deeper than the ones he had with the other women. Even if one of the other women had children, he could feel that Sienna would understand him better but also be a more natural part of his girls’ lives and being a process in healing the scars they carried.

The conversation continued easily, even if she wouldn't be a part of the show, even if Bill would need to pick another woman in just a few weeks.

They talked about their kids: Bill's daughter, who was a great soccer player, and his younger one, who wanted to help with cooking but in reality just wanted to eat. They were 11 and 5 years old and reminded him about what was most important in life. Her son was also 5 but couldn't talk that much. He liked to draw just like his mom and enjoyed music from the 60s and 70s. Bill laughed at that, impressed, because his own daughters just listened to Taylor Swift at the moment. He wished they also would like Cat Stevens and Paul Simon.

They talked about movies, and just to try her, he wondered if she had seen The Cuckoo Nest and Gone With the Wind.

“Of course! But Gone With the Wind is not my thing. I should be ashamed; it's such a classic, and the cast is amazing, but I think I saw it at too young of an age to feel it was interesting, and then that opinion stayed with me.”

Bill felt the butterflies in his stomach fly into each other. It was so silly, that such a thing would make his cheeks heat, but it was just amazing that a girl shared his interest, for real.

“Did the production for the show know about your movie interest?”

“Yeah, they asked so many questions before taking me in.” Bill nodded slowly. “Why?”

“I was on a date with one of the girls... In a theater. It must have been planned for you… And it would probably have been the best date ever if it was with you.”

Sienna smiled a little but also looked guilty.

“Don't say that…”

“Why not?”

“It's mean towards the other girl.”

“It's not like she hears me? I know it would be the best date ever. This, just talking with you like this, is the best date ever.”

Sienna looked embarrassed, and Bill smirked. He didn't care about the other girls' in that moment, just about Sienna.

They continued to talk until she needed to hang up because her son woke up. Bill felt the disappointment ache like a knife in his chest when she hung up, but he also felt so many glowing feelings flying around in his body. It was obvious she liked him too, and he would call her again, even if it wasn't appropriate.

Bill called Sienna again the next night, and they talked even longer, but even if he knew she would say no, he begged her to come back to Los Angeles, but she didn't want to leave her son. He understood that a child with autism needed safety and predictability. She needed to stay with him to not mess up his world. There was just one solution for this, because Sienna was the woman he wanted to get to know, the woman he had developed real feelings for. The solution was the only right thing for everyone, he thought. But maybe not everyone...

“Drop out? You can't drop out; it's your show!” Said Herman, upset, and looked at Bill, who sat calmly on the edge of his bed. He was dressed in a loose-fitting beige linen shirt and medium blue jeans. He dragged his palms against each other, believing Herman would give in, but Herman wouldn't do that; there was a lot of money in this show.

“I've found the woman I can see myself with. I don't need this anymore. We can do an episode about me realizing that-”

“That's not what people want! People want drama! The network wants a 12-episode show! Not half of it!”

Bill crossed his arms and looked at Herman with furrowed brows.

“But I don't want to.”

“Sucks to be you then because you're under a contract!”

“That's not fair to anyone. You mean I should continue this when I don't want any of the girls left?”

“I thought you liked Esmeralda!”

“She's nice, great even, but she isn't the one who... Sienna… It's just really different.”

“I don't care! This is your job right now!”

Bill scoffed.

“So you will force me?”

“Yes, I will force you, and you will play along! Do whatever you want with Sienna when the cameras are off, but when we're rolling, you're interested in Esmeralda and Brigitte, okay?”

Bill didn't know what to say because it didn't feel right at all, not towards Sienna and not towards the other girls.

×××

The girls stood in a row in front of him, like he would examine them one at a time. Tiffany, Brigitte, Maria, Violet, Esmeralda, Rose, and Odette. They stood by the stairs, waiting for him to say who would be able to stay. Odette already had a key as a gift because she came back. She looked at him with starry eyes, probably believing it was he who wanted her back. For him, it didn't matter because he didn't want any of them there. He wished he could go to New Jersey. It had gone so fast—five calls with Sienna, two dates, one with Odette and one with Tiffany. He was completely sure he wanted Sienna; he had fallen in love.

He looked at the girls and felt just a bad conscience. They thought they had a chance, but they were just there to create entertainment; his heart wasn't there anymore but in Sienna's paint-stained hands.

“Tiffany,” he said and tried to smile warmly. The smile was probably more believable than he thought because she smiled big at him when she walked up to get her key.

“Esmeralda.”

He had a really bad conscience towards her, and it was hard to look at her. Just the day before he had his first call with Sienna, he had laid next to her, kissing her and giggling like he had feelings for her. In that moment he also did, but they felt insignificant when he met Sienna's hazel eyes through the camera. Esmeralda was a girl he could see himself with, but Sienna was the girl he knew he wouldn't be able to live without.

Esmeralda smiled brightly at him, like she felt they had something special. Bill lowered his gaze but looked up with a fake smile. He needed to pretend, and the actor in him knew how.

Maria.

Rose.

Brigitte looked at him hurt but also embarrassed, like she was ashamed she had believed there was something special between them. It was a feeling all of the girls would feel the day they got to know Bill had already decided who he wanted—someone who wasn't even there. Brigitte smiled sadly at him when she walked up to him and followed him out on the porch without a word. It wasn't until they were alone that she walked up to him close and dragged her hands over his khaki colored button up. Bill pulled her hands away and smiled apologetically. She still stood just as close and looked at his smooth skin and plump lips.

“It's Esmeralda, isn't it?”

Bill looked away, ashamed, without saying anything.

“I think we all can see it…”

“I'm sorry, Brigitte.”

“Me too… I guess we will see each other at the reunion... With you and Esmeralda together.”

×××

“It feels awful because I don't want to see any of them; I just want to be with you,” he said sincerely to Sienna on the screen. They had an earlier night call than usual because her mom was at McDonald's with her son. She wore an oversized t-shirt with Ingmar Bergman, just as a silly thing to show Bill. He liked it so much he decided to steal it as soon as he could get his hands on it.

“We haven't talked much at all, Bill. Are you really sure? Not that I don't really, really like you, and believe you like me back but I don't have five guys standing outside of my bedroom door.”

“Thank fucking God for that!”

Sienna smirked because of the irony. Bill looked a bit guilty but smiled back.

“I'm sorry. I wish I could just drop out, but you don't understand how much money I would need to pay them if I did. I don't have that money.”

“It's okay, Bill. I will not demand that of you. But… Must you kiss them and so on?” She looked down a bit embarrassed. Bill was just happy she asked, that she didn't want him to be close to other girls, but then reality hit him.

“It says shit about commitment and understanding the entertainment value in the contract and… I don't know. I guess they could say I didn’t show enough commitment or something…” he said with a sigh. Sienna looked at him with big eyes and nodded a little. She didn't know what to say. Bill had asked her for forgiveness so many times for his messy life, so now it felt empty to say it again. He couldn't change anything. During the few seconds the both of them suffered in silence over the situation, there was a knock on Bill's door. He looked towards his bedroom door, confused, before he stood up awkwardly to open the door. Sienna was thankful Bill walked away because she could feel blood creep up to her cheeks. She didn't know what Bill wore more than the white tank; she had just imagined him wearing sweatpants, but when he stood up, she realized he wore just a pair of gray, tight boxers. When he stood up, she could see thick, hairy thighs but also his bulge, an impressive bulge. She didn't think she would see that much of him that night, but even if her face heated, she wished she could see more.

Bill opened the door slowly but took a relieved breath when it was Herman and not one of the girls.

“Are you already in bed?” Asked Herman. Bill looked towards his laptop that stood open on the bed, and Herman sighed.

“Sienna?”

“Yeah.” Bill moved away from the door so he could walk in. “Sienna, Herman is here, so you know,” said Bill and looked at her on the screen, then sat down again on the bed. Herman looked uncomfortable.

“Hey, Sienna… Sorry for-”

“Not letting Bill and I see each other?” She was irritated but sounded more teasing. Bill turned the laptop towards Herman so he could see Sienna, who was waiting for an answer.

“It's not that easy, Sienna…”

“I guess not, but if you're Bill's friend, you will do this as simply as possible for him.” Bill looked pleased and proud. Herman gave him a fast look. He had something in his eyes he hadn't seen before, and he couldn't stop looking at Sienna. He dragged a hand through his hair. Bill was his friend, and that thing in his eyes was something he wished Bill could show more often.

“I will try… But it's not easy. I can't decide everything.”

“But can you decide that we will take a break this weekend?” asked Bill. Herman wagged his head back and forth.

“So I can go to New Jersey?”

Sienna looked at Bill with a giggly smile.

“Do you want that? Come here?”

“Of course, babe.”

Sienna smiled with a blush, both because he wanted to come to her but also because of the nickname. Babe. She was his babe. Just like that.

Herman looked at them both awkwardly, but he knew he owed Bill to try to make it possible. If he could get his date with Sienna, he would probably be easier to work with and maybe he could make him make the best choices.

×

[geniarts]

Arcane S2. What the heck was that?!

Just watched Arcane Season 2 and now I'm in awe and frustration at the same time. Try to explain myself and start with awe :)

Viktor is just magnificent! This character was my favorite since his first appearance on screen (he's definitely my type) and when he became an antagonist (and still had his own moral principles) I was totally ecstatic! I was eager to see where he would go and even predicted that he was that mage who gave Jayce the rune. But the end of the series left me with one big question: what the heck was that?!

Yes I'm talking about the plot twist that it was Viktor who sent Jayce back to stop him. But with that understanding all Jayce's previous actions lose their meaning. He said "I won't fail you!" but what he did was quite the opposite.

Let's start from the beginning. And I mean the very beginning, the 1st universe, where Original Viktor somehow got the Arcane by himself as there was no little Jayce with a rune yet. We only know that the chain of events brought Viktor to that point he wished to cancel all his deeds. That’s why he came back in time and gave Jayce the rune. With this action he created a whole new universe and continued to make this again and again for unknown reason.

We can explain his words "in all timelines, in all possibilities ony you can show me this" that Original Viktor somehow gained information from every universe he created by giving Jayce different runes. If this means that Jayce's tries to "show him" were successful then why Orig.Viktor kept giving him the runes? I don't know, but this explains the fact that he sent Jayce back exactly in that time where his past self was capable of reading people's minds but still understanding, empathic and ready for conversation. He invited Jayce to his place and didn't even try to protect himself when Jayce prepared to attack as he couldn't believe his friend would hurt him. All Jayce needed to do - just to open his mind and let Past Viktor read his memories. And what he did? Just blew him away without a single word!  

I can't find any reasonable explanation for this action. Maybe Jayce lost his mind after all he went through and let his rage blind himself? But no, he knew exactly what he was going to do - he remembered his mission and repeated "I won't fail you". So we should suppose he thought that he would stop the future by killing Viktor at that point? If so, then why he went into the palace and told everybody that the fight was lost? And later, on the roof, he stood in the same pose his dead parallel self did, preparing to die. If there was no Ekko with his wonder device, the final would be the same! Much worse, Jayce’s shot was exactly the reason why Viktor was so upset, got poisoned blood and immediately started his "evolution". So it was Jayce who caused the chain of events he tried to prevent! And if he really thought that he "won't fail" Viktor with those illogical actions, then he just didn't understand the meaning of that phrase. 

But you know what is more illogical? The fact that literally NO ONE blamed Jayce for this. I mean, he came and made things worse, because of him Vi and Jinx lost the only hope to bring their father back, and moreover, Isha and many other people died in a battle he caused. And everybody just paid no mind to that?

I mean, the sisters wanted to return their father so much, then Jinx lost the person who made her happy again, and they didn't say a word to a man who broke all their hopes?? If they couldn't reach him, why Katelin didn't do this for them? But no, everybody just pretended that nothing happened and kept discussing the battle Jayce started. 

All of this is beyond my understanding 

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

i started naruto a few years ago and made it to like the second arc in shippuden before stopping so i never made it to the kakashi backstory but....your notes compel me. tell me more.

okay so like take this with several grains of salt because the sum total of my sources here are "my understanding of the plot and characters as synthesized from the Abridged Revised Illustrated Edition my datemate's been writing me over the last two months", a handful of clips, and the only three (3) episodes of this 600+ episode show i've seen in my life, none of the three of which were relevant to the kakashi backstory

h o w e v e r

oh my god. my dude. my man. [holds him up like longcat] there is so much wrong with you and i'm enthralled.

so like here's the thing. here's the big takeaway that i'm understanding. this whole series is an ongoing exercise in generational trauma bullshit and everyone trying so hard to course-correct from their own tragic backstories that they accidentally set up their kids/students to have completely different but still somehow exactly the same tragic backstories, and naruto's chronic case of shounen anime power-of-friendship-itis is, i mean. yes it's him being the platonic ideal of Pure Of Heart And Dumb Of Ass but it's also a direct response to seeing ninja society's perpetual tragic backstory generator and going "this is bullshit, why are we even fighting? tell me what your side is, and i'll tell you what our side is, and then we can figure out how to make our sides the same side so none of us have to fight about it at all!" and honestly i love that but this ain't about him

so like. to explain kakashi we have to explain kakashi's father sakumo first. because sakumo was one of konoha's powerhouses, been on tons of successful missions, well-liked, well-respected, one of the earliest and loudest adopters of konoha's then-new and radical pivot towards a ninja being people first and disposable tools never ideology.

he really, genuinely believed in that.

except then he and his team went on a mission. and it went really, really badly. and he had to choose between completing the mission objective or saving his teammates' lives, and he chose their lives, because those who fail their missions may be scum, but those who abandon their teammates are worse, right?

... no, actually.

just because the ideology had been circulating and people were broadly toeing the party line didn't mean they actually believed in it, and sakumo's mission failure was already causing critical backlash.after sakumo made it back to konoha he was a fucking pariah for it. he was never officially reprimanded, but he didn't need to be if people went out of their way to personally spit at his feet, and... one day young kakashi comes home to find his father's body on the floor, wrists slit and suicide note devolving into begging apologies beside him.

this, as you may imagine, fucked him up, and didn't exactly predispose him towards believing the party line about the value of life.

he gets put on a genin team that was. basically the alpha build of the sasuke-sakura-naruto team dynamic. because it was him, and rin the healer girl with a massive crush on him who he never gave the time of day, and obito the Loudest High-Vis Uchiha Who Ever Lived who had a massive crush on her, and minato their teacher who was doing his absolute best to try and get them through to understanding each other, which is an Ordeal

because kakashi at this point has internalized that the party line is pretty lies for the gullible, that his teammates are only there to drag him down, and it drives obito nuts because that's the same exact bullshit that his family keeps spouting that he's rejected as thoroughly as a 12.9-year-old can, how does kakashi not see that it's bullshit? and there's rin who's looking at kakashi like i can fix him?? and getting upset when he doesn't let them in at all or even really visibly care that they're trying, and it's one hell of a dysfunction junction but minato is working on it.

... and then the worst happens. their team is caught out alone and everything goes wrong. rin is captured and obito's body is half-crushed under a rock and one of kakashi's eyes got slashed out and none of them are going to make it out of this, at this rate, until obito calls kakashi closer and tells him to take his eye. take the sharingan. he'd give him both but the other one got squished. kakashi will do more with it than obito ever did, so use it to save rin. please. and here's kakashi in the middle of field surgery on his dying teammate finally, horribly realizing that sometimes the win condition is, actually, protecting your friends, and he's already lost. but he can still try to save rin, it was obito's dying wish.

by the time he found her it was already too late.

the people who'd captured her had tried, poorly, hastily, messily, to seal one of the Tailed Beasts into her, and she was already dying. she had a demon thrashing in her soul that was tearing her to shreds around it and all kakashi could do was mercy kill her

and she thanked him for it.

and he goes back to konoha, sole survivor of his team, charred by the newfound comprehension of why you have to care and what it feels like to lose what you love and with obito's sharingan in his head and rin's blood on his hands and something in him that was already hanging on by a thread finally snapped.

and the only thing he could think to do, the only way he could even parse that grief through, is to just... make himself into a living memorial to them. he started trying to live as obito. adopt his mannerisms, his interests, craft his entire adult persona around his memories of his friend like a grave offering, and quarantine the bleakly mercenary anything-to-get-the-job-done ice in him off into the hound mask he wore as part of konoha's black ops division, which he joined at the ripe old age of way too fucking young.

he uses the sharingan to incredibly brutally efficient effect, copying enemy jutsus and bringing them back until the library's overflowing with them. but in the end, no matter how many he can technically use, they're still just cheap copies. and so is he.

and in the meantime the uchiha are collectively losing their shit about this random outside kid having one of their eyes in his head and getting all kinds of dubious 'glory' with it, and oh, wouldn't you look at that, they have a prodigy too!

... yeah.

itachi gets shoved through the rank advancements on a timeframe of "whatever he did you have to do it faster and better." and then the kyuubi broke free. and minato and kushina died, and a fuckton of the home guard uchiha died, and suddenly he's the most able-bodied fighter in their clan overnight at age 11 and the uchiha pull strings to get him into ANBU as well.

and kakashi is his teammate.

kakashi is his teammate and kakashi sees in itachi a whole awful lot of the edges of the way kakashi used to be, sees itachi trying to live up to and embody the absolutely impossible ideal of the perfect ninja, and he tries so god damn hard to nudge him gently towards something, anything, other than that.

but in the meantime, the uchiha have been... scheming. with danzo, Guy With The World's Biggest Chip On His Shoulder About Not Being Hokage, who's been marinating in a paranoia spiral for years. danzo had tried to set himself up as kakashi's palpatine, and tried to get him to assassinate hiruzen, and kakashi hears him out, and turns right around and goes to hiruzen with it instead, and danzo is pissed. the uchiha are pissed. danzo warns hiruzen that they're almost definitely going to try again and they're gonna make the uchihas' little prodigy do it this time, and kakashi silently braces to have to fight and maybe kill his teammate he was trying so hard for, and then...

and then itachi, who'd been watching his clan get. worse. for a long time. finds his cousin shisui, his best friend shishui, bleeding out in the dirt, who tells him everything, tells him danzo tried to have shisui killed for finding it out, and it worked, he's dying, but he's not dead yet, so please. make it count.

.......................................... And Then The Uchiha Massacre.

and now itachi is one more person that kakashi tried to care about who got destroyed.

and then fast forward a little bit further, he's been retired from active-duty ANBU after a decade-plus of service because the sharingan is starting to burn him out, he's starting to lurch to a halt like unwound clockwork without something to Do, and... he gets given team seven. the worst of konoha's gremlin children.

a bitter, disillusioned loner with a chip on his shoulder and the skill to back it up, the healer girl with a crush on him that he never gives the time of day, and the Loudest High-Vis Pest In The Village.

you see where this is going.

kakashi who at this point has been coasting along by bouncing between mask-personae for years is now having to dynamically engage with life again because if he isn't present and actively responding to his team then there's a nonzero chance he'll turn around to find all three of them chewing on the drywall and he cannot default to scripted responses because they don't work on a pack of middle schoolers hellbent on squabbling til the cows come home. and it's kind of good for him?

but also, uh. [gestures broadly towards... Sasuke(TM) and the rest of the plot]

and yeah i'm not gonna get too much further into it because i'm not confident enough in my own comprehension of the timeline to do that XD but like.

hatake kakashi is a scarecrow of a man stitched together out of his dead best friend, a hunting hound, and his dead best friend again, who's spent his entire life behind one mask or another, who over the course of the series keeps surviving shit that by all odds he shouldn't have, or survives specifically because the people he cares about throw their plot armor around him before they die, and he has a personality mostly composed of the crumpled-up pages of the memetically worst-written trashy bodice-ripper novels ever published because obito used to love them and the inexplicable receipts of other people's love for him, and i want to put him in a gas station hot dog roller and perceive him.

thank you for coming to my ted talk XD

[justanerddummie]

I really wanted to make a post about about Viktor, he's one of my favorite characters after all but then I always spiral into a bunch of extremely clichè morality questions to which no one has the answer to. So I guess I'll just talk about a bunch of stuff that really hit me during ep 6.

How Viktor doesn't simply heal people, but also the land, the place when he first arrived was barren, no plants, no water, no sun, no nothing, now it is blooming, plants grow high and healthy in full cooperation with hextech and the sun shines non-stop. We can see some of them even have the purple lines like the ones that kept dying in Viktor's lab. I guess I really did enjoy the duality of Viktor needing shimmer to force hextech to work with nature, but having to sacrifice his morality to do so.

The way Viktor's comune was portrayed into such a positive light was quite jarring, at the end ep5 we see it in a very ambiguous way and now it seems that it's just a force of good. Like this is a hive-mind situation, then why does this place feel so warm and cozy? I blame it all on the warm colors and the light fortiche used to lull the viewer into a sense of safety.

Vi, baby, I know you feel the same, I know the promise of forgiveness has lured you in, but seriously except for the mistake of hitting your sister in the worst moments of both of your lives, which isn't justifiable but understandable you haven't done anything wrong ever since. You need to stop blaming yourself for everything bad in your life and start putting at least part of the blame on your sister and your gf 'cause seriously they fucked up way worse than you.

Why was Jinx's color palette clashing so much with the environment? I mean, Vi and Isha seemed to blend in just fine, fuck even Warwick felt fine at some point but Jinx felt like a thumb in a sore eye the entire time they were in the comune.

Singed I love you, I also really loved the way this episode felt more like a clash of his and Viktor's phylosophy more than anything else. The only thing I'm sorry about is how in the end he is always right.

I enjoyed Vander's flashback sugarcoated as they were, as they turned into Vi's memory. I guess that's the whole point of nostalgia so no notes here.

I guess that placing this episode at the end of act 2 was a really smart move, we've just come from five episodes of darkness and smoke, everything from the situations to the art felt oppressive and the moment it started I asked my self if I was watching the same show as five minutes before. Putting a breather right before the situations plunges back into darkness destroys the viewer's heart way more than keeping the tension high the entire time.

Ambessa doesn't look like your typical villain, and honestly I don't really recognize her as one. She's framed constantly as nothing but a warmonger, yet she rarely ever leads sword first. Is it because of her situation as a destituted Noxian looking for allies across sea? Is it because she fancies herself fox and wolf? Guess we'll see next act, hopefully.

Isha, I've been side eyeing that little girl since the begging of the season, everyone knew she was going to die, and we all cried like babies. I really do hope that they don't go the way the leaks have suggested, because seriously then what's the point? Other than that I want to watch act 3, because right now I'm honestly speechless.

[bwat5-blog]

The Pitfighter

**Spoilers For All of Arcane**

Two minutes, fifty-nine seconds. That my friends, is how long we spend with Vi during perhaps one of the most significant periods in her character's story. In the beginning of her story, Violet is a character who lives for those she loves. They are her tethers. To protect them and be with them is what drives her on, because as we will come to understand she does not see that she is worthy of that same love and protection. Not in the beginning.

And from the time we meet her after the time jump in season 1 until this point, we are seeing those tethers ripped away from her. The hope she has held onto of finding Powder and making amends, ended with her perched over her little sister as she told Vi she was ready to die, and that she was glad Vi was going to kill her.

Her hope and belief in Caitlyn, who rescued her from that hellish darkness from which she had no chance of escape, for whom she put on the uniform, ended as the only Enforcer to ever show her kindness struck her, and told her she was no different than the woman who killed her mother. Walking away from her as she cried.

Her pride and identity as one of the of the fissure folk, has been tarnished and betrayed by her own hand. She tried to do the right thing, but at the end of the day, she wore the symbol of her people's oppressors, and did violence in the streets of her birth.

There is nuance and depth to all of these situations, but my point in listing them this way is that Vi has had everything holding her together taken away. This period, which there is so little detail about the best I can find for an official length of time is "a few months", is Vi falling through darkness without end.

And as we know, it is from that darkness that she rises stronger and more resolute. She comes to love her sister as the woman she is now, not the ghost Vi was holding onto. She protects Jinx and Isha from Warwick until they get through to Vander allowing their family to know even a brief moment of joy. She is able to trust, and believe in Caitlyn after the time spent seeing the good in her sister. It is not that this period of her life is important because it does not end, but because it does. It is the ending of who Vi was, and the beginning of who she becomes.

"Is there any question of the meaning of what we were shown? It's clear what she is going through and that's enough"

"Some people don't understand the meaning of show, don't tell"

"If you need everything spelled out for you this level of adult media is not for you"

I have seen these points. I have discussed them with some of you, and some of you who have been kind enough to keep up with my writing share some of these beliefs. And that is your right. I don't mean any disrespect to you, or the wonderful and immensely talented people who brought us this story. But, simply and plainly put. I do not, and cannot agree. If all that you require of a story is to understand the plot than I have good news my friends. Hang up your spurs and open Wikipedia. The plot summary should be all that you require.

I understand the value of show don't tell. Truly I do. And its use in this show gives many of our most wonderful moments. The softening of Caitlyn's eyes the moment after she hits Vi... the horror on Violet's face as she sits on top of Jinx preparing to end her life, and sees Powder... There are countless more examples and the creatives behind this have used it to create a powerful story full of meaning that has infinite rewatch value. And I said, it's not that the meaning is not conveyed here.

Her muscle mass is decidedly less as it goes on, showing us she is taking worse and worse care of herself.

There are multiple flashes of Jinx in the crowd, watching her, (in my mind she is watching over her in the best way Jinx can process but I suppose that is up to interpretation)

Vi is ticking away the time on her wall like she is in a prison cell

She stops cleaning off her makeup after a point

None of her hallucinations of Caitlyn are in her strike team phase. They are all of the Caitlyn who was kind and loving to Vi.

There are more details I could list that many others have. Again, and I cannot emphasize this enough, it is NOT that they do not accurately and completely convey the meaning of what is occuring. But that is just not all that matters.

Those of you who keep up with my grouchy unhinged rambling, have seen my use the same phrase repeatedly in one form or another.

"Stand up for the stories that matter"

I believe the story of Arcane matters. Not because of the magic, or the fun creatures, or the cool steampunk technology, but because at it's core, it is quite possibly the most achingly human story I have seen in many years. Each character's story has been crafted with such care, their struggles and hopes and dreams layering together in such a way that they have captured the attention of people all over the world.

I have corresponded with people who have shared truly inspirational changes in their lives, because of the way in which this story connected with them. It matters. And I came here and started discussing this incredible saga with all of you because I have believed that since I was very young, and I always will. So I say this with all of the respect in the world. Feel free to condescend all that you wish, about the need of those who feel as I do to have the story "spoon fed" to us. The desire to fully understand the weight of the heroes' journey, will always be a step to the betterment of humanity.

Let me also say, that I truly have endless respect for those who brought this story to us. I should think it is quite clear from the amount of writing I have done these past several weeks, that I have deep love for what they have done. And I fully and completely admit that in real world application, there are endless complications and restrictions that resulted in the pacing and decisions of season 2, that an average person like myself does not understand. I am not in any way speaking on whatever production decision lead to this being handled in this way. And I can admit that it may be there were such restrictions, that meant it was impossible for this to be handled in any way.

But for the weight of this moment in Violet's story, for its importance in the journey of a character who cannot put herself first to the point it harms her, to sit with her in that moment where all that is left is her pain... two minutes, and fifty-nine seconds.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you" - Maya Angelou, I know why the caged bird sings (1969)

[braveclementine]

Back Together

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC Elizabeth Lightwood. I do not condone any copying of this.

"Tony? Are you okay? What's going on?" You asked as you spoke into the phone.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Tony responded. "I just think we might have to push our um pretend restaurant reservation back."

"Why?" You asked in a warning tone, looking at the TV screen. Elizabeth was laying on the couch, staring at the screen with hazy eyes. She hadn't stopped crying once since she'd gotten here, the waterworks alternating on and off.

Rhodey was there, trying to help with the kids. The two older children were talking with Everleigh in hushed tones in the corner. Sam was there too, looking a little skittish of Rhodey almost, but not quite. Rhodey hadn't tried to arrest him yet at any rate.

"Just cause I'm probably uh, not gonna make it back for a while." Tony mumbled.

You closed your eyes in understanding, and also a little bit of apprehension, "Tell me you're not on that ship."

Rhodey looked over at you.

"Yeah."

"God, no. Please tell me you're not on the ship." You said, cradling Arlo in one arm as he slept there.

"Pumpkin, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know what to say."

You closed your eyes. "Just. . . God Tony please. Elizabeth just. . . I can't lose you."

The connection was getting worse with the phone. "I love you." You whispered as you heard F.R.I.D.A.Y. say, "Boss, we're losing her."

You closed your eyes, falling backwards into the couch, holding Arlo tightly to your chest. He needed to be safe. He just had to.

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Wanda was curled up under the covers of her bed, wearing Visions white shirt and a pair of his boxers. They had just finished having their nightly round of sex and he was pulling the drapes back now while she had a cup of tea.

He let out a small gasp that sounded almost as though it was in pain. Wanda looked up. "Vis? Is it the stone again?"

She slid out of bed and walked over to where he was standing. He was in his human form at the moment, the way he usually was these days. But the yellow stone glowed out on his forehead and he screwed his eyes up and clenched his teeth in real pain.

"Hey." She said, sliding her hands up on his face. His other hand came up to cup hers and he tilted his mouth so he could kiss her palm, before pulling her hand a little closer to kiss her palm again. They he placed the part he'd kissed to his forehead.

"Tell me what you feel." He asked softly.

"I just feel you." Wanda whispered back.

And he bent down to kiss her.

Later, they went walking down the street, holding hands, "So there's a ten a.m. to Glasgow which would give us more time together before you went back."

She was trying to get more time, knowing that he was alternating between staying at the Avengers Compound and sneaking to see her.

"What if I miss that train?" Vision asked in a slightly teasing tone.

"There's an eleven o'clock." She responded.

"What if I missed all the trains?" Vision asked, turning to face her at the stop. He smiled a little and then asked, "What if this time, I didn't go back?"

"But you gave Stark your word." Wanda frowned a little. As much as she wanted to spend more time with Vision, she also didn't want him to get in trouble. Even if they couldn't contain him, he would go like a normal person.

"I'd rather give it to you." Vision responded.

"Well, there are people who are expecting me too, you know?" Wanda asked quietly. Steve and Nat would often have her travel with them so that they could all stay together and all stay on the run. "We both made promises."

"Not to each other. Wanda." He placed his hands on her shoulders. She loved and hated that he seemed to tower over her, but loved it even more, "For two years, we've stolen these moments trying to see if this would work and-" He tripped over his words and then said, "You know what, I'm just going to speak for myself-"

"It works." She answered.

"It works." He echoed.

"It works." She repeated, nodding and smiling, happy. This was what she wanted all along, but wasn't sure if it was something she deserved.

"Stay." Vision whispered. "Stay with me."

When she didn't answer, he quickly backtracked, shaking his head, "Or not. If I'm overstepping-"

But Wanda walked past him, staring at the TV that was playing in the window behind them. It showed the destruction of New York, the alien spaceship that was over them. "What are they?" Wanda asked in a shaky voice.

"What the stone was warning me about." Vision answered.

They watched the news change, saw how it was reporting Tony Stark as missing. Wanda caught her breath in her throat, immediately thinking about Y/N, Everleigh, and Arlo. Vision turned to her, catching her hand, kissing the back of it. "I have to go."

"No, Vision." Wanda said, her voice still shaky, trying to become firm. "Vision, if that's true, then maybe going isn't the best idea."

"Wanda I-" He suddenly cried out in pain as a large spear was shoved through his stomach. He was lifted into the air on the end of it, shifting from his human form back to what he looked like as a robot.

"VISION!" Wanda screamed, immediately calling up her magic. Vision was flung off the end of the spike, rolling on the ground.

She was hit in the back, sent flying through a window. She leapt up on to the top and saw they had pressed some sort of blade against his stone. She sent them flying with her magic, lifting Vision into the air. She flew into the air and carried both of them over into a neighboring courtyard. She helped Vision to his feet.

"The blade." Vision panted, having trouble walking, "It stopped me from phasing." He slid down against the wall.

"Is that even possible?" Wanda asked, kneeling in front of him, hopping they couldn't find them here.

"It isn't supposed to be." Vision said. "My systems are failing." Wanda tried to heal his wound up with her magic, "I'm beginning to think, we should have stayed in bed." He suddenly pushed her out of the way, being rammed by one of the new creatures.

"VIS!"

He flew through the air, trying to fight the creature off.

"Give up the stone." He growled at him, while he could hear Wanda fighting someone else down below, "And she lives."

Anger took over, Vision wrapped his hand around the aliens throat, and pushed off from the wall he was being held against. He punched the alien and then tried to use his light beam against him. The weapon blocked it somehow, amazing alien technology. He was hit with his own light in the stomach.

The alien was upon him immediately, once again trying to take the stone out of his head. The alien turned and he heard Wanda's voice, "Hands off." She blasted him through the window and then took Vision and used her magic to fly them into the sky.

They were blasted from the air and they crashed through the glass ceiling of the train station. Vision groaned as he rolled across the floor. "Come on. Come on. Come on, you gotta get up." Wanda begged him, lifting him up by the arm. "You gotta get up. Come on. Hey." He slumped against the railing. "Hey, we have to go."

He shook his head, cupping her face. She was bleeding across her forehead. "Please. Please leave."

"You asked me to stay." She panted. "I'm staying."

"Please."

Wanda stood in front of Vision as the two aliens crashed through the ceiling. A train ran behind her and she suddenly felt a familiar presence. She turned to see a dark shadow standing on the other side of the train platform.

The female alien tossed her spear at him, which he dodged and caught at the same time, before stepping into the light.

The glorious.

The handsome.

The radiant.

STEVE ROGERS!!!!

. . .

Um, Sorry.

Captain America.

. . .

Anyways.

Wanda smiled as Sam crashed into one of them, though she hadn't remembered him being with them before. Steve threw the trident weapon to Nat, who ran behind the woman, knocking her legs out from under her while Sam fired his rockets into the male alien.

Nat threw the trident at the woman, who caught it. Steve picked up the spear, blocking the woman's kill thrust.

The three of them knocked the aliens to the ground.

"Get up." The woman growled.

"I can't." The man said.

"We don't wanna kill you, but we will." Nat said.

"You'll never get the chance again." The woman said and they were suddenly gone, a beam of blue light lifting them into the sky. The spear also left Steve's hand, even though he hadn't let go of it.

"Can you stand?" Sam asked. He seemed jittery, Wanda noticed, though he was here.

Vision was helped to his feet by Sam and Wanda, "Thank you Captain."

"Let's get you on the jet." Steve nodded.

"Now, I thought we had a deal." Nat said once they were safely on the jet, the door closing up behind them, "Stay close, check in, don't take any chances."

"I'm sorry." Wanda said, sitting next to Vision on the Quinjet. "We just wanted time."

"Where to Cap?" Sam asked.

"Home." Steve said.

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"Still no word from Vision?"

Elizabeth was hiding as she spied on the holographic meeting going on between a board of the Government and Rhodey. She knew she was probably on the wanted list too, but she wanted to hear what was going on. And besides, she didn't have anything else to do.

"Satellites lost him somewhere over Edinburgh." Rhodey said.

"On a stolen Quinjet with four of the world's most wanted criminals."

"You know they're only criminals because you've chosen to call them that, right, sir?" Rhodey asked, pointing at him.

"Go Rhodey." Elizabeth muttered under her breath.

"My God, Rhodes. Your talent for horseshit rivals my own." General Ross grumbled.

"If it weren't for those Accords, Vision would've been right here." Rhodey argued. Elizabeth finally stepped out, walking silently up to Rhodey's side. He glanced at her, but said nothing. General Ross narrowed his eyes at her, but continued to address Rhodey.

"I remember your signature on those papers, Colonel."

"That's right. And I'm pretty sure I paid for that." He was still wearing braces, which Elizabeth felt guilty for. She hadn't had much time to heal him before she had to get back to Asgard and escape the German police. She had offered to heal them again, only a few hours ago, but he said he felt better like this.

"You have second thoughts?" General Ross asked in a slightly threatening tone.

"Not anymore." Rhodey said, and looked over at the entrance way. Elizabeth looked up dully to see Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Vision, and Sam there. Sam had left to go and find them, a little help from a wizard named Wong. He quickly slipped between Steve and Nat, coming over to her side and pulling her into a hug.

She relished the hug, but turned her head so she could still see what was going on.

"Mr. Secretary." Steve greeted him. He had a beard now and his hair was more brown than blond. He looked good in his outfit, Elizabeth noticed offhandedly. It was a little tighter, darker in colour.

"You got some nerve." Holographic General Ross said, walking towards them. "I'll give you that."

Nat was blond now, a little bit on the thinner side, perhaps even a little bit more muscular. Her hair was shorter as well and she looked like an entirely new person from the last time Elizabeth had seen her- and fought her.

"You could use some of that right now." Nat responded.

"The world's on fire. And you think all is forgiven?"

Elizabeth snorted quietly.

"I'm not looking for forgiveness." Steve responded. "And I'm way past asking for permission. Earth just lost her best defender. So we're here to fight." He took a step forwards, "And if you wanna stand in our way, we'll fight you too."

"Arrest them." General Ross said and then pointed at Elizabeth, "Her too."

"All over it." Rhodey said sarcastically, hanging up on the holographic call. There was a beeping sound. "That's a court martial." Then he smiled. "It's great to see ya, Cap." He held out his hand and Steve shook it.

"You too, Rhodey."

Rhodey hugged Nat, "Hey."

Elizabeth looked over at Wanda and Vision and she pulled away from Sam. Her body started to shake and she knew she was going to cry any second now.

"You guys look like crap." Rhodey informed them.

"Well the hotels weren't exactly five star." Sam retorted, looking after Elizabeth.

"Well, I think you guys look great." Bruce said awkwardly and everyone looked over at him. He chuckled awkwardly as well, "Yeah, I'm back."

"Hi, Bruce." Nat whispered.

Elizabeth stopped near Bruce and looked at him. Tears were shining in her eyes. He gave one last awkward wave, put his arm around her, and the two of them quickly walked off.

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Steve couldn't stop looking at Elizabeth. She was in the back of the room, rocking a little girl that she called Sage in her arms. She had Loki's black hair, but Elizabeth's eyes. Actually, all of the kids except for Tove, who looked the most like her mother. Halfdan was the spitting image of his father however, even at the age of eight.

He could almost imagine Elizabeth's pain because it probably mirrored his own when he was certain he lost Bucky. It had been such a pain that had ripped through him. . . and that wasn't even for his death. But it had been bad enough Steve was certain he had died. And with Loki actually dead. . .

Y/N was there too, already dressed for battle. Tony had been missing for a while, along with Stephen- Sam's soulmate. The spider kid that had fought with them was rumored to be on the ship as well.

"So we gotta assume they're coming back, right?" Rhodey asked, looking at the hologram of the aliens that had attacked Wanda and Vision.

"And they can clearly find us." Wanda said.

"We need all hands on deck, where's Clint?" Bruce asked, looking at Natasha.

"After the whole Accords situation, he, Scott, and Y/N took a deal. It was too tough on their families. They're on house arrest."

"Whose Scott?" Bruce asked.

"Ant man." Steve answered.

"There's an Ant-man and a Spider-man?" Bruce asked. Steve felt bad for the man. He'd just lost his soulmate too and had been missing in space for two years as the Hulk only. Bruce paused for a moment and then said, "Okay, look. Thanos has the biggest army in the universe and he is not gonna stop until he gets. . . Visions stone."

"Well we have to protect it." Nat responded.

"No, we have to destroy it." Vision spoke up from where he was leaning against the window, looking out. "I've been giving a good deal of thought to this entity in my head. About its nature. But also its composition. I think if it were exposed to a sufficiently powerful energy source," He walked closer and closer to Wanda with each word, "something very similar to its own signature, perhaps, its molecular integrity could fail."

"Yeah, and you with it." Wanda whispered. "We're not having this conversation."

"Eliminating the stone is the only way to be certain that Thanos can't get it." Vision said.

"Until he gets the Time stone and reverses time to this exact moment where you destroy it and then gets it anyways." Elizabeth responded.

"That's too high a price." Wanda argued over Elizabeth.

"Only you have the power to pay it." Vision said, cupping Wanda's face. It was to intimate for Steve, his attention returning to Elizabeth. She was looking at the floor instead, tears falling down her face.

Wanda walked away from Vision and so he spoke, "Thanos threatens half the universe. One life cannot stand in the way of defeating him."

"But it should." Steve spoke up. "We don't trade lives, Vision."

"Captain, seventy years ago, you laid down your life to save how many millions of people? Tell me, why is this any different?" Vision asked.

Because Vision still had something to lose, unlike Steve. Sure, Steve could've lived out a life with Peggy, had kids, but without Bucky he wasn't sure he wanted it. He could see Bucky again.

But Vision still had Wanda. Still had a future with Wanda, if possible. If everything worked out. That was the difference.

"Because you might have a choice." Bruce spoke up before him. "Your mind is made up of a complex construct of overlays. Jarvis, Ultron, Tony, me, the Stone. All of them mixed together, all of them learning from one another."

"What are you saying?" Pietro asked at the same time Wanda said, "You're saying Vison isn't just the stone?"

"I'm saying that if we take out the stone, there's still a whole lot of Vision left." Bruce responded. "Perhaps the best parts."

"Can we do that?" Natasha and Y/N asked together.

"Not me, not here." Bruce shook his head.

"Well you better find someone and somewhere fast." Rhodey ordered. "Ross isn't just gonna let you guys have your old rooms back."

"I know somewhere." Y/N said.